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#so while today might be a bit of a lost cause bc I need to shower go to the shop and cook which takes most of the free working time
exopelagic · 25 days
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okay I’m going insane I need to fix my sleep schedule now
#I cannot keep getting up at/after midday this is driving me crazy#SO. I’m gonna not do ice hockey for a little bit until I can get myself normal#I want to step away from ice hockey anyway bc the new committee are being annoying and I need them to stop making me do things#tonight I will go to bed at midnight. and I will stop everything to get ready for bed by 10 bc I need that time#and tomorrow I’m setting my alarm for 7:30#I’m going to have mornings again if it kills me bc this is making me feel like shit now#will also mean hopefully I’m less stressed about work and can schedule stuff with my friends bc oh my god everything has been a nightmare#this week. and it’s only Tuesday what the fuck#also going to make a sleep tracker again bc that worked in February#and I’m setting library times for weekdays as 9:30-12 and 2-5 because getting there is the problem and I normally stay longer once I’m ther#and that worked for exams AND there’s just less work to do now so if I can keep on top of it everything should be fine#just have to actually do it#like right now I rlly need to go get writing bc I need to figure out some title options and that needs to be done by tomorrow afternoon#otherwise there won’t be time to get feedback from my supervisor before the deadline#so while today might be a bit of a lost cause bc I need to shower go to the shop and cook which takes most of the free working time#I can do something and if I can make tomorrow morning work I’ll have enough time#I’m okay with having periodic getting my shit together days as long as I do use them to get my shit together#now pls. get your shit together <3#luke.txt
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joesanrio · 11 months
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Such a Loser | R.R
Summary: After the MITB match, Joe’s entire demeanor seemed off which wasn’t expected after the weeks worth of planning and working for the match itself.
Pairings: Joe Anoa’i {Roman Reigns} x Nova (OC) || established relationship
Warnings: Stubbornness, Pet names, Random attitude, One-sided arguements, Strong language, kissing, fingering, slapping, grabbing face, praise and degrading, p in v, cockwarming, Cuddling, Love bombs
Rating: 18+
A/N: I was panicking the whole time watching it, bcs I was rooting for the Usos but I felt like they might trick me and have Solo and Roman win anyway…
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The car ride silent as Joe sits beside me dozing off, not surprising since today was probably the longest and most anticipated day of his life. His performance was amazing especially the aftermath of the match, even leaving me wondering what’s going to happen next. There was something wrong though, after the match his entire demeanor just shifted into this dull and forceful manner.
“I’m so proud.” I whisper as I play with his wedding band before looking out the window myself, “I’m glad.” He mumbles back with a small smile. The driver enters the hotel parking lot causing me to grab my purse and get ready to exit, with the driver finally parking the car we get out and I help with one of Joe’s bag. “Don’t do that, I got it.” He shakes his head before taking the bag away and throwing it over his shoulder.
Entering the hotel, we head straight towards the elevator as the silence overtakes our surroundings due to it being late at night. “What’s wrong?” I question after his exaggerated sigh, causing him to roll his eyes. “Nothing.” He snaps randomly, at least before he was nicer, my lips form a line as I nod slowly while looking away.
The elevator after taking it’s sweet time, arrives on our floor allowing me to leave that awkward silence. Grabbing the key from my purse as we head down the never-ending hallway, I look back to see Joe clearly struggling with his suitcase wheels. “I’ll help.” I hold back a laugh at his irritated expression, grabbing the suitcase it immediately rolls with ease and so does his eyes. “You know I got you baby.” I try to joke, though at this moment I’m the only one who finds it even a bit funny.
Making it to the room, I scan the card as it lets us in to our suite. Joe immediately heads to the bedroom, “Baby…” I call after him as I enter the room myself and seeing his drained expression. “Not now.” He grunts while tossing his bag into the corner, going silent soon after as I don’t know how to respond. I decide that maybe running us a shower could help, so I go to the bathroom.
“Really Novs? What did you do today that made you so utterly exhausted and sweaty that you need to shower?” He spoke abruptly, I look at the door which he’s standing at shirtless. “It was for both of us, I thought I would be nice.” I smile ignoring his rudeness while turning towards him completely, his face immediately lightening from the distasteful look he was giving. He leaves without saying anything else, I’m assuming to get ready for the shower.
———
After the shower, I finally got Joe to open up to me about what was bothering him. What I wasn’t expecting was the fact that he was going to rant for 2 hours straight about it.
“I understand.” I say tiredly as Joe is on his rant about his lost at MITB, as amazing as the guys performed he was more bothered about the crowd. “Baby you’ve seen and heard worse things.” I sigh as he throws himself back down onto the couch, “Don’t break this couch.” I warn as he sat up properly and fixed the pillow on the other side of him.
“Imagine just trying to give the best performance of your life to people who can’t even focus on it because they’re too busy yelling ‘Fuck you’!” Joe stresses as he clenches his teeth together, I go to hug him but he moves away. “Well what would you like me to do?” I force a smile even though I’m sick of his attitude, “Nothing! I just need you to listen.” He exclaims. That sends me in a frenzy because that’s all I’ve been doing for 2 hours!
I roll my eyes at him before leaving the living room, and heading to the bedroom to get away from his shenanigans. “Baby Really? I ask one thing and you walk off.” He says loud enough for me to hear in the room, “I’m sorry.” I shrug knowing he can’t see me. Sliding off my slides, I get into the comfy sheets hoping he’ll get the gist. I can hear his heavy foot steps coming towards the door, “Come lay down, you’re getting red.” I open my arms for him to join me.
Hearing his deep sigh and his movement towards the bed, I smile in a small victory. I watch him as he fixes his shorts, remembering there’s nothing underneath I got a plan. “They probably did it because you’re so hot when you’re angry.” I smile seductively as I roll over onto my stomach while he gets into the bed. “Oh really?” He mumbles before looking at me, I hum as I cuddle up into him with my leg tossed over his hips.
His hands quickly grab onto my waist and ass, rubbing so gently across my skin. “I think you did phenomenal. You looked so tough, sexy, and serious.” I bite my lip unintentionally thinking back at the visuals he was giving during the match. I push myself onto his hips with my hands resting along his bare chest, “But you lost…” I tease as I roll along his slowly hardening cock.
He grunts as his hands reach up to my hips, I smirk at his reaction. “Are you actually mad at the crowd or are you just being a sore loser?” He glares up at me after my comment while his hands grip my hips roughly, a small whimper coming from my throat at the action. I tilt forward as our faces become close and I can feel his harsh breaths, I smile before squishing his cheeks with my hand and placing a kiss onto his pink lips.
Immediately he kissed back only with more passion, I let go of his face as his tongue entered the kiss. “So sweet.” He smiles against my lips, I giggle remembering the vanilla and coconut chapstick I put on. Pulling away from the kiss, I admire his face seeing the small scratch by his chin. “They got you pretty good.” I say pointing to the minuscule mark, he rolls his eyes playfully before pulling me back down onto his lips.
His hands finding their way onto my ass while my hips continues grinding against his, feeling him fully hard underneath me. “Fuck.” He grunts against my lips nicely before throwing his head back, I sit up and remove my top. I moan quietly as one of his hands leave my ass to squeeze my boob, “So pretty.” He smirks at my reaction.
Joe flipping us over to my dismay, sitting back on his heels as he pulls my bottoms off with a surprise of nothing under. “You were planning this huh?” He teases as he throws my bottoms somewhere in the room, I look away from his intense stare as he waits for an answer. “Answer me.” He grabs my face to make eye contact again, I nod but it doesn’t please him. “Words, come on you know better.” His words immediately creating arousal to drip from my entrance. “Yeah, more of hoping.” I wink as he smiles.
His long fingers make their way to my pussy as they slide between my slit, rubbing around my clit and back down to the entrance. “You’re soaked… you got a thing for losers?” He tilts his head teasingly, I nod eagerly as his other hand comes back to my boobs and plays delicately with the nipples. The once silent room was now noisy with the sounds of my moans, and his soft grunts.
His fingers entering my entrance smoothly and filling me up, “Oh my… god!” I squeal as he starts a ruthless pace. He smirks as the wet sounds from my pussy fills the room, going to grab his wrist, his other hand interferes. “What’s wrong? You were hoping for this.” His deep voice enters my ears as he bends down to kiss my neck, though nothing but moans can come from me in response.
“Wait- I’m going to cum.” I gasp as the feeling builds up in my stomach, his fingers going even faster though I didn’t think it was possible. “It’s too much!” My eyes squeeze shut as I cum onto his fingers, “Look at me.” He demands as he removes his fingers gently. Opening my eyes, the sight of him sucking the cum off his fingers made me immediately want to cover my face in embarrassment.
“You think you can cum again?” He questions knowing the answer to that, he pulls out his hard cock causing it to slap against his pelvis. The tip was dripping precum as it was swollen and red, he leans down before rubbing against my drenched lips. “Damn baby.” He groans as his hips falter at the feeling, I hum as I pull him into a quick kiss.
Already breathless, he positions himself at my entrance before entering slowly due to his large size. He throws his head back making his neck come to full display, sitting up a bit I suck a small hickey on the side of his adams apple. “Your pussy is so good.” He chuckles as he starts a slow place, enjoying the feeling of me stretching around his cock. Joe pushes one of my legs up from underneath the knee allowing him to a different angle.
Moans just flowing from my mouth uncontrollably, “I literally love you so much. So so much!” My head falling back onto the pillow as I can no longer take looking at where him and I are connected, he lets out a breathy chuckle as he begins pounding into me. Slapping noises being heard throughout the room as well as the sound of the headboard hitting the wall. “I love you.” He says happily, his other hand holding onto my hip.
“Look at your tits just bouncing, I’m fucking you so good huh?” He smirks while slapping my bouncing boobs creating a shock to flow through my body. “You’re amazing! It’s so good.” I whine out as he lets go of my thigh and brings my hand to hold it instead. Doing the same for my other thigh, he’s practically pounding me into the mattress considering every time he comes down my body jolts from impact. “You just love losers, look at you creaming all over one.” He grabs my face roughly to look at him.
Hair falling over his face, forehead glistening with sweat. “So pathetic, don’t you think?” He degrades me and I love it, a small pout forms on my lips causing him to come down a kiss them. Moaning against his lips, his hand lets go of my face and goes down to my clit to rub fast circles. Unintentionally clenching on his pounding cock, I can feel him twitch inside of me.
“Mm’gonna cum?” I tease after he pulls away from my lips hesitantly, he nods shameless as his hands fall right beside my head to hold himself up. Biceps on full display as I’m caged in by his body, “Cum in me. Please cum.” I beg as his eyes start fluttering closed and mouth falling open. “Shit… oh I’m gonna cum.” He moans while his head drops, I can feel the warm ropes of his cum coat my walls as he breathes hard above me. “Oh yes.” I moan as I cum at the overstimulating feeling of his orgasm.
He drops his body gently onto mine as he stays inside, “You’re going to be pregnant after this.” He mumbles. My hands leave my thighs as they hold him close to me, resting on his back and tracing little shapes. “That’s totally fine.” I smile as I kiss his shoulder happily.
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miuszn · 1 year
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Ok i Just found my new fav writer 🤍so i NEED to ask this ( do It only if you want)
What about an ellie x fem!reader where they go out on Patrol ,they run into a lot of zombies of every type , ellie gets bit and reader sees It so now ellie needs to explain the whole immunity thing and reader believes her ,
They go back to Jackson where Joel (lets Say he skipped golf lessons this time) finds out and freaks out and gets mad at ellie cause She wasnt supposed to tell anyone so he wants ellie to break up with reader but ellie doesnt want to so they fight and ellie goes back to reader for comfort
Its up to you if Joel and ellie fix this whole argument thing
(also Sorry if my english Is perfect🤍)
hiii anon <33 first of all i’m so honored u consider me ur fav writer i never expected to get so much love from the community so fast im rlly grateful to all of u hehe <33 . anyway , i rlly love ur idea !! i decided to write a short drabble instead because i’m working on another fic but i still wanna post some stuff while i’m working on that , hope ur fine w that 🥹🩷 ( note : this is an alternate universe where ellie already forgave joel and they were starting to fix their relationship .. also this might be kinda ooc especially joel bc i’ve never written him before eheh )
— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —
you weren’t sure how it happened. you were only gone for a second, you swore, and somehow ellie got bit. you knew it was a bad idea to leave her in a room full of clickers, but you knew she was strong and should’ve been able to clear them out with ease. the second you saw the small bite mark on her hand, you realized what had happened. your heart sank. in a panic, you burst into tears and kept apologizing over and over for about 15 minutes until ellie was able to calm you down and explained to you that she’s immune, leaving out the details of the whole situation with joel and the fireflies. of course, you didn’t believe her. it seemed ridiculous. how the hell would someone be immune and not be out there in some lab being researched or whatever, like in movies?
it took you a while to believe her, but eventually, you did. you helped wrap her hand with bandages so no one would see the note mark, because the less people knew, the better.
you were distraught for the rest of the day. you felt horrible. she kept telling you there’s no need to keep apologizing, but you still felt the need to. what if that had been someone else? what if ellie wasn’t immune? how the hell was she immune in the first place? so many questions ran through your head.
later that night, you laid awake still thinking about today. you were disappointed with yourself for what you did, yet still so confused.
you heard some knocking on your window, and looked out to see ellie. you opened your window and let her in. she sat on your bed next to you.
“what’re you doing here?” you asked.
“just wanted to check on you,” she replied, “and. uh. joel’s kinda mad.”
you were confused. you wondered how he even found out, but it’s like she read your mind and answered.
“i told him about what happened today. just casually. and he completely lost it.”
— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —
“i can’t believe that girl let you get bit.” joel wasn’t even looking ellie in the eye. he was extremely disappointed in both of you.
“it wasn’t her fuckin’ fault, joel! i didn’t think anything bad would happen either! if you’re gonna blame anyone, blame me-“
“i’m blamin’ the both of you! what the fuck did you think was gonna happen back there? leaving you in a room full of clickers to fend for yourself? now one more person knows about you bien’ immune and all. god knows if she can even keep a secret.”
“what the fuck makes you think shes just gonna tell everyone? she’s not like that at all. why the hell are you acting like you don’t know that-“
“why the hell are you actin’ like that girl’s any good for you? all she does is get you into trouble.”
ellie went silent. she was shocked at how different he was acting. all this time he had been so nice to you, not once showing a sign of not trusting you or disliking you. she was conflicted, and in the heat of the moment, she just turned around and left, fuming with anger. she was starting to wonder if joel was actually right, but realized that was such a stupid thought. the worst part is, she wasn’t even sure if he meant it. now she didn’t know what to do. just as they were starting to fix things, life threw another curveball at them.
— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —
you were hurt by what ellie was saying. his words just further fueled the thoughts in the back of your mind saying that this was all your fault. but ellie realized this and tried her best to comfort you. she kept saying it wasn’t your fault, that she fucked up too, that she’s sure he didn’t mean it and he was just angry. while you were hurt by his words, that wasn’t your main concern. you thought about how this incident just further damaged their already broken bond that they’ve been trying to fix these days. you felt like because of you, all that progress was thrown away in less than 24 hours. and it was an ugly feeling. you felt even worse than you did before, and you didn’t know what to do.
“ellie..” you placed your hand on hers, “i’m sorry.” you started to tear up.
“hey..” she pulled you close and hugged you.
“it’s just.. i don’t know what exactly happened with you and joel. you don’t have to tell me. and everything is getting better now and i’m just scared i’ve ruined it and i just-“
“hey,” she interrupted you, “don’t worry about that, okay? it’s not your fault. i’ll.. i’ll figure it out. you don’t have to worry about me and joel. we’ll be fine.”
“are you going to forgive him for it?”
“i’m not sure,” she sighed. “if he didn’t mean it, maybe. but if he did, i doubt i can.”
“i don’t want you to lose progress with him just because of me..”
“we’ll be fine. please.. just.. stop worrying, okay?”
you nodded hesitantly.
while the guilt of possibly extending the process of ellie’s forgiveness of joel would continue to exist within you, at least for as long as it took her to finally reconcile with him, you were grateful to have her by your side. and you were sure to be with her every step of the way.
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rin-bellatrix · 1 year
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Smitten
"It might not be the right time. I might not be the right one. But there's something about us I want to say. 'Cause there's something between us anyway." - Daft Punk
Rhys recovers his lost boot from the con woman with a ruby smile, and as she teases him about his fashion, he's struck with the realization that she's actually kind of fun. And pretty... Really pretty.
Written for @admiralsweko bc it's her bday today - HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWE~!! 🥳🎉🎂🍾🎁🎈💕✨
Header art by ourwarbird (deactivated 🕊)
Lace divider from this post. Pixel heart dividers from this post. White dot divider from this post. Reblog and feedback divider from this post.
Written because inspiration struck due to the pic below that came from a post that Sweko had reblogged for another of her otps
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Enjoy! 💙❤
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Through the cracked windshield of the caravan, the barren, desolate plains of Pandora's vast desert rushed by and Rhys was at least a little bit grateful that he and Vaughn weren't making this journey on foot. And also, not alone.
The sound of easy conversation carried over to him from somewhere in the back of the vehicle, words lost on his idle mind but the calm tone was enough to keep him from worrying. At least they were all past the point of trying to kill each other. Even Athena wasn't so scary after a few board games to pass the time. (She was still scary, just on a lesser scale. Not that Rhys would ever say that to her face.)
For now, the sandy scenery whizzed by and out of sight of his peripheral. Honestly speaking, driving through a path that looked the same as it did the last hour and the hour before was driving the company man to boredom. There was only one seat up front and therefore only a need for one person. He was alone while everyone else socialized behind him.
Even Jack was quiet, laying low because he didn't want to draw Athena's attention to the fact that maybe he wasn't as gone as she would've liked. So Rhys was left in solitude, watching dunes and skag dens and occasional rakks above passing by for the nth time.
He huffed a drawn out sigh, settling his chin into the cradle of his propped up hand as the other remained steady on the curve of the steering wheel. He was fighting back a yawn when something heavy was tossed at him from the edge of his vision.
The sudden movement and weight of the unknown object hitting his chest and falling into his lap made him shoot to full alertness, his foot automatically easing down on the brakes as he glanced down to see what had struck him. It took a second, but the sleek design of expensive rakk leather made him recognize his own heeled boot, the one he had lost when he flew out of the caravan.
Confusion caused him to look up and over, his wandering gaze landing immediately on the con woman who was leaning casually against the dash. She pretended indifference to his obvious stare, until she happened to glance his way and caught his eye. She flashed him a cheeky grin and it was the first time she had ever smiled at him.
She was... Really pretty, actually...
Dismissing that thought immediately because - where had that come from (and what good could acknowledging this do?), he picked up his displaced shoe and the memory of being ripped from the relative safety of a moving vehicle came to mind. How he felt for just a moment, completely weightless, like when he and his best friend had left Helios and had breached the stratosphere of this planet, recalling the odd feeling of zero gravity that made his stomach lurch.
He was abruptly caught, Fiona's grip around his ankle the only thing keeping both Hyperion men from getting swallowed up by the desert. He counted himself lucky, until he could feel his heel easing out of his boot. The only connection he had to Fiona's desperate grasp was slipping away and there was nothing either of them could do. He remembered in that moment, that she had risked her own life by abandoning her secure grip to reach out to help these two men who she didn't know and didn't trust. The strength of her hold around his foot was fresh in his mind, the effort she made to keep them from the maw of the wastelands.
Sure, securing the two men from Helios meant securing whatever awaited them at Old Haven, but it had happened so fast, he doubted she had time to think about it that way. She had just acted on instinct. Well, at least that's what he thought. Fiona was just as much of an enigma as he was to her. Probably.
Quickly eyeing the landscape ahead of the caravan for any kind of obstructions, the company man slid his heterochromatic eyes over to the grifter by his side, raising a curious brow in silent inquiry.
She shrugged, looking down and off to the side, not meeting his questioning gaze as she answered, "Can't have you trekking across Pandora with only one shoe on. Figured I'd do you a favor and return your ugly footwear."
He was tempted to retort with a lecture on fashion and style, but a smile still played about her lips and he decided that he'd take the ribbing for what it was - a playful jab rather than a hurtful insult. Scoffing, he lowered his boot down to the floor so he could work his foot inside, returning his attention to the path before him as he shimmied his socked foot into the recess.
"Too bad for you, if you would've held onto it, you could've sold it for a decent profit. The high quality of this rakk leather is obviously lost on you though, what a shame."
Now it was her turn to scoff, the light huffing sound making a smile kick up at the corners of his mouth in anticipation of what she'd say in response. "I see you Hyperion snobs think too little of us down here - we might be desperate for quality goods, but I don't think a foul smelling fashion faux pas is gonna be doing anyone any favors. At least anyone with actual taste."
Said Hyperion snob grinned, shifting restlessly his seat at the first easy conversation that he'd had with this woman since he laid eyes on her. Bickering over nonsense with this pretty Pandoran native was actually kind of exciting. "And I'd like to thank you for confirming that no one on this rocky junk heap has any sense of taste. I had always assumed, but it's good to finally have it confirmed."
"Yeah, I don't think that's as much of an insult as you think it is, considering the situation you've got going on with that red strip of fabric."
"You mean my tie?" He subconsciously ran his mechanical hand down the length of the tie, genuinely wondering what she had an issue with.
"Oh, is that what that's supposed to be? How unfortunate." She twisted her face into a slight grimace, further provoking him in this little verbal game of theirs.
"I'll have you know that this is the latest in fashion amongst the elite on Helios."
"So you say. Is it... Tucked into your pants? Serious question here."
The young manager rolled his eyes, but couldn't argue further because... Yes his tie was tucked into his pants. It was a fashion statement! He shook his head, glowering at her from the corner of his ECHO eye. "Is this all you came up here for, to question my impeccable sense of style? Don't you have candy to steal from a baby or something?"
Fiona's face shifted into one of overly shocked dismay, a hand fluttering delicately to her chest in a show of being offended. "Well the only baby I see nearby is behind the wheel right now. As a true professional, I wouldn't take this time to rob you - could be dangerous to hinder your driving."
Rhys fought another grin, enjoying their banter even though he was obviously on the defense - and losing. But he had never had the chance to talk to Fiona one on one and he found he quite liked her taunting smile and jeering words. Her light green eyes were sharp, watching him carefully and he had no doubt that she had already pinpointed the locations of every single one of his pockets. She reached out to him suddenly and he wondered if she was gonna poke around said pockets now.
But her hand landed on his shoulder very briefly, patting him as she said, "Whenever you get tired of driving, let me know and I'll take over. Until then, try not to drive us off a cliff, Hyperion." She turned and sauntered away, and he found his gaze locked on her retreating back.
Was it strange that her sudden absence made him yearn for her to return to his side, to continue trading barbs and playful smiles?
Yeah, that was weird. He barely knew the woman and could count the positive experiences with her on one hand. But she left to join her sister, the sound of her voice in the distance catching his ear.
He lifted his eyes to the rear view mirror, in the hope of catching a discreet glance of her. Instead he was met with a pixelated face of blue staring back at him through the reflection. The sight of Jack made him jump, but thankfully it wasn't enough to affect his driving or draw attention.
"Ooh, somebody's got a little crush~" Teased the voice of his mentor, ringing in his ears and his ears only. "Not a bad pick either, Hat Chick is smokin'." A burst of digital blue particles manifested over the caravan's dash, solidifying as a projection of Jack laid out on his side, head propped up on one fist as he faced Rhys. "You know... If you hook up with her, you'd be doing both of us a favor." His former boss waggled his eyebrows, his expression alluding to deviant implications.
Rhys rolled his eyes, adjusting his grip on the steering wheel as a way to keep himself centered and calm. "Not gonna happen," he muttered, purposefully keeping his voice low as to not draw attention to the seemingly one-sided conversation that he was having with his dead employer's digital ghost.
"Ahh you're no fun! Just think about it-" Jack's sapphire smile glowed as he spead his hands out above him. "Me and her. I guess you'd have to be there too since, ya know-" His pixelated image collapsed and reformed to Rhys' other side, demonstrating his intangible state. "Don't really have a body at this point- but eh, we'll make it work. Anyway, we get her all hot and bothered right? And-"
"Look," the younger man interrupted, glancing once again at the rear view mirror but this time to make sure no one was overhearing his words. "It's not like that between us. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm a total loser or something-"
"Not surprising."
"......And anyway... You're not her type. So there."
"Oh sweet cheeks, have you seen me? I'm everybody's type! If I were here in the flesh, Hat Chick would be on her knees begging for a scrap of my attention. Like, hello? Check this out!"
Hyperion's former CEO materialized in Rhys' direct line of sight, his azure image staring down at his cranial companion in what Rhys assumed was supposed to be a... "Sexy" stare?
"GOD I'm hot - it's honestly ridiculous how good-looking I am! They don't call me Handsome Jack for nothing kiddo. In fact, I was the winner of Garza Magazine's 'Top 100 Sexiest CEOs in the Galaxy', and there was also the award for-"
If Rhys rolled his eyes any harder than he was right now, he was sure they'd roll right out of his head.
Since becoming tethered to this man's coded reconstruction of his personality, the young manager wondered how he had ever spent so long admiring this narcissist whose blue visage was currently ranting about his looks and...sex appeal...? If Rhys, who had once idolized his former boss, was losing his hero worship more and more while in his company, then he knew Fiona wouldn't even glance his way.
Well, unless it was to put a bullet between his eyes. But the notion was inconceivable anyway; his ex-boss was long dead and his former employee was the only one who could see and talk to his digitized remains. So the thought of Jack and Fiona ever interacting was something he'd never have to worry about.
"Hey shit for brains, you hear me?"
Jack tapped Rhys on his temple port and it sent an electric zing coursing through his nerve endings. He stifled a yelp but couldn't help the knee-jerk reaction of his hands twitching along the steering wheel, sending the caravan into a sharp swerve until he quickly righted himself.
A chorus of complaints and questions sounded off from behind him and he immediately replied with "Sorry, sorry! There was a, uh. A baby skag in the way and I just didn't wanna hit it."
He nervously gulped and could feel his heart pounding in his chest. Glancing up, Athena's irritated gaze met his in the mirror and he felt his left hand begin to sweat. Redirecting his sight to the land ahead, he tried to focus on looking as inconspicuous as he could, given the circumstances.
"Oh, that was great! Your face - you- you should've seen your face!" Jack cackled, floating in mid-air as he clutched his sides in amusement.
The Hyperion employee felt his aggravation build, furrowing his brow as he tightened his grip over the steering wheel. Just as he opened his mouth to snap back, a small hand clapped onto his shoulder.
"Okay Rhys, I think that's enough driving for today," came Fiona's voice from over his shoulder. "Let me have the wheel, you can go rest and leave the baby skags to me. I think I know how to avoid them a bit better than you."
Rhys peered up at her as he eased down on the brakes, trying to gauge her reaction, but she ushered him quickly out of the seat. He felt her body slide in behind him as he was stepping off to the side, turning to face her as she settled into the driver's seat and adjusted it to fit her shorter legs. Her eyes were set ahead of her, but she spared him a brief glance, giving his tall body a quick up and down before returning her focus to the road.
"Sasha's making something for lunch, grab yourself a plate if you're feeling a little drained." Her words hinted at a sympathetic nature, but she must've caught herself being too soft on him because she continued. "We need everyone at their best if we're gonna secure Gortys' next piece, alright? We've got the opportunity of a lifetime here, Rhys. We can't mess this up."
Feeling a little embarrassed that he was basically kicked from driving duty, along with her reminding him of what was at stake, Rhys kind of nodded and mumbled a vague agreement as he rubbed the back of his neck. Not knowing what else to do when Fiona quieted and returned her full focus on the road while he just stood there awkwardly, he turned and shuffled down the stairs towards the cabin.
"And don't forget to save me a plate!" She called, and he turned to look at her before joining the others.
From this angle, he could see a little bit of her profile, watching silently as she reached up and adjusted her hat, before brushing her hair away from her face. She placed her hand back along the curve of the steering wheel and her turquoise nail polish glinted when caught in the sunlight.
He felt a new emotion wanting to bloom, but before he could examine it for what it was, Hyperion's ghost rematerialized in front of him, casting the back of the con woman in hues of blue. The fact that Rhys could see Fiona through Jack's body was unnerving and unpleasant, and it caused him to frown as his raised his eyes to meet the stare of his dead boss.
"Hey, kiddo. In all seriousness, don't let this little thing between you and this Pandoran savage get between us and our big plans, okay? That vault and everything in it is ours, as long as you and your dick don't fuck this up for us."
The company man broke his intense gaze, turning away from his mentor and towards the others gathered by the kitchen area in the caravan. "Yeah, whatever you say, Jack." The words carried no conviction, and Rhys doubted that this would be the last that he hears of it.
But he was honestly tired of the cobalt corpse floating in his field of vision whenever he deemed to "grace" the young manager with his presence. Right now all Rhys wanted to be concerned with is getting some hot food in his belly, and being the one to bring Fiona her plate as an excuse to engage with her more.
Perhaps she'd thank him and flash him another smile. Now that... That would be nice.
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Happy birthday Sweko, I hope you have a beautiful day~! 🥰💕
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©rin-bellatrix 2023
☆ borderlands masterlist ⋆ main masterlist ☆
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EEE IT WAS GREAT!!! I LOVED READING IT!!! I CANT WAIT TO MEET THE REST OF THE FAZBEAR GANG AND LEARN MORE ABOUT OLI!! IM SO INTRIGUED!
Questions and thoughts I had while reading!:
Do all humans have magic? Or is it just Oliver? Or I know Vanessa changed the badge back but was that a mechanism in the badge itself?
How long was Oliver following crypteds for before he joined fazbear?
NOOOO POOR CHICA 😭. GOOD ON OLIVER FOR AT LEASE GIVING HER A LITTLE BREAK.
Oof. Oli’s speed running getting fired the way they talk back. Maybe subtlety is what’s needed here?
Oooo hopefully Henery called Vanny back in to fire those scientists >:( at least Chica wasn’t re restrained? progress???
:O URPLE GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BIGGER GASP. HELPY!!!!!
Oooo Potential menacing wall of helpys. There is no end, submit to the help /silly
FRICK UEAH VANNEY GOT SUSPENDED
An apology? From Henery?? Doubt >:|
Hehehe Oliver’s getting so much walking done today. Five bucks says they get lost again
Booo urple guy ruined my bet. He’s the janitor? Does. …does he work the Night Shift?
HAHAHAHAHA MICKEY D’S IS A GREAT NICKNAME. PFFTT MIKE WAZOWSKI
BWAHAHAHA OLIVERS NICKNAMING SKILLS ARW MY FAVORITE. HANKLES XDDDD
Huh hankles actually feels bad? Guess it’s a good thing Oli joined! otherwise he wouldn’t have known!
Oli. Oliver no don’t Talk to your boss like that /concern. Hehehe the person they hit with paper turns out to be William /silly
EGGS BENEDICT
Yay Chica gets food!!!
:DDD I'm glad you liked it! I'll try and answer all of your questions! (Also responding to the reactions bc those are incredibly fun to read LOL)
It's not just Oliver, but it's not all humans either! It'll be expanded on a bit further in the next chapter
They were following cryptids around from 16 to 19, up until they found out about Fazbear Containment. They didn't really have anything better to do, and even if it was only 3 years they learnt a lot!
Yeahhh it's gonna take a while for all of them to be treated right. Oliver's probably gonna end up being like. the moral council or something LMAO
They um. Impulse control is not their specialty SDJFSDKLJFKL if they think something and it gets past the singular filter they have (which is EXCLUSIVELY for moral stuff) they're saying it and dealing with the consequences later
The only thing I will say about this is Vanny is definitely gonna be playing a bigger role later but not the one you might expect, same thing with Henry :)
urple :DDD also I PROMISE he isn't william i wanted to make a storyline that follows a different villain bc. also do not remember the reasoning for this but I do wanna clarify William Afton will not be showing up (at least in person) unless i change my mind later! Normally I don't like spoiling that kinda stuff but I don't wanna accidentally make anything misleading :D
Helpy is so underrated I needed to include him in this
If an AI uprising ever happens, you'll know who it REALLY is /j
>:DDDDDDD
(Using this space to apologize in advance if Henry is ooc, I dont remember shit about him aside from like the basics of what he did, so im kinda just making it up as I go LMAO)
They cancelled their gym membership cause they're already getting all the exercise they need while trying to navigate their new job /j
:) yet another situation where he will play a big role but probably not the one you'd expect!
coming up with those was the most fun part of writing this LMAO
I was having such a hard time with Henry's nicknames. like. i almost had Oliver call him Henjamin franklin.
Hankles becoming increasingly horrified at the conditions the cryptids are living in:
Oliver would've definitely already been fired if they hadn't been put in this job as a way for the government to try and contain them (half joking here. uh. also will be expanded upon later) and the person hit with the paper will always be William in my heart /silly
My thought process: "Hmmmm... What do I name this random scientist? He needs a name, obviously. Even though he will probably never be mentioned again. What name can i use that will be a funny reference.......... oh my god im a genius" /hj
Oliver teaching themself how to cook so they can bring her a five course meal as an apology for all the shit she's had to deal with the past several weeks:
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ultralaser · 2 years
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thinking today about all the social media sites i have lost over the years
2018/9 to today - twitter
cause of death - a robber baron having a midlife crisis, or maybe a multi level marketing scheme of authoritarians aligning to take down a protest hub
what we lost - a reliable, expansive feed of traditional Wierd Internet, breaking news, esoteric discourse, and minor celebrities who might actually follow you if you had a good bit of humor or outrage go a bit viral
2010 to 2018? - instagram
cause of death - facebook buyout, the algorithm, monetization
what we lost - started as a nice way to share pictures, then it became very difficult to see your actual friends pictures under all the Content, then they pivoted to video (stories aka snapchats), then they pivoted to video AGAIN (reels aka tiktoks), now they've somehow pivoted to video YET AGAIN and buried your friends reels under an avalanche of reposted tiktok Content, if they havent all been shadowbanned anyways for only posting pictures
2008 to 2018/9 - tumblr
cause of death - yahoo, digital gentrification, a legitimate need to clean out all the csm that went really badly and ended up breaking everyone's trust
what we lost - a full decade of community building of all the quirky independent artisinal discourse this site became known (and then maligned) for, leading to the last three years of twitter users whinging endlessly about tumblr bs while i'm all "why are you booing us, we're right!" bc this is where we were radicalized and twitter is where trump happened
2000? to 2015? - facebook
cause of death - nazi apologia, maga regulatory capture, broken ass algorithm, pivot to video, "it's meta now", etc etc
what we lost - it started as a fun simple way to keep up with your family, and friends from hs and college and old jobs, and to share cat photos and baby photos. it ended up as a radicalization vector for turning your grandparents into far right trolls.
2003ish to 2005ish - my movie critic friend luke's web forum on his personal site
cause of death - actually i don't remember, it might still be there, oops. but probably hosting fees vs just moving to facebook
what we lost - a fun little community of luke, me and some of his other internet friends, some of his irl friends, and his cool irish uncle, plus random angry strangers, just talking mostly positively about movies. it was a good vibe, felt like working at the movie theatre again
1999? to 2002? - killingmachines
cause of death - hosted on a server in my brother's office, which died and killed the archive and also nuked the code, which, will definitely happen to someone's mastodon instance in the next 3-6mos, oops
what we lost - a budding community of us and our friends and also a bunch of early internet randos i never regained contact with but still remember fondly to this day
1999 to 2001ish - the raving toy maniac "toy buzz" forums on toymania dot com
cause of death - hosting fees, the internet changed, my group had already aged out like two message board generations ago as we graduated hs, etc
what we lost - being yelled at for going off-topic unless we were hiding our conversations in replies to old posts way down the board, a community of like minded toy nerds who absolutely believed that scalpers were an organized cartel ruining the hobby for everyone else, the naivete of the late 90s dotcom era, getting to watch week old posts and reply chains slowly disintegrate as they fell off the bottom of the page, getting to append NT for no text to posts where you put your whole short reply in the post title so no one needed to click through to that post on slow-ass dial up connections. but also, the pure anticipation we all felt for the star wars prequels in the summer of 1999 when all we had was a trailer, a promise, and a MOUNTAIN of merch on the way
1995 to 1999 - email
cause of death - too much god damn email
what we lost - a manageable amount of primarily non-spam email. 95% of what email used to be is just what facebook became, and twitter perfected it, becoming what email could have always been but never got to
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bayleaf-2 · 10 months
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Hi so I didn't make any coding progress today, hence why I didn't post anything, but I did draw all day! Lotta info incoming so here! Here goes! I already did transcripts and stuff for a friend who has some but not all context and I'm. Very very tired so sorry gang but I'm not adding additional context. Also some of the tone might seem weird, cause again, directly to friend and not tumblr
That being said, big thing first! Started some design mockups for Arc 5, character notes included. Got damn the compression on this is bad sorry gang.
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The first one is how Lyra looks literally the day after the campaign ends! That design's title is "The worst of it" because I don't know for sure how long that'll last, for multiple reasons (How long Lisp can fuck with Ioun's ritual until the library notices, how long Lyra's in this state of "make it to the next day" grief, etc) but I do know that this is their lowest point, so it feels best to label it as such if I don't have another reference point to label with, at least for the time being. The bullet points are as follows:
Feels dysphoric (outfit helps)
Now that they're not rushing through everything and actually have time to think about how they feel and also don't have to wear high tier armor all the time, Lyra realizes that she's not…actually happy being in such boxy clothes, among other things. I hesitate to go into any more detail cause I don't wanna trigger anyone else's dysphoria, but they change into a looser, more fem outfit. I'm realizing now that the silhouette still looks similar because I'm not as good with drawing clothes, but imagine it's like. Flowy and soft rather than boxy and thick. (Yes this is bc I wanted to give her a design changed but I also realized they'd want the same thing, it's been like. months)
"One day at a time"
Kind of explained before, but I'll elaborate a bit more just cause: They lost their entire family. They lost like 3 out of 4 of the people most important to them. He's almost 300, so he's probably lost someone before, but not like this. Not because of something so world changing, not with the world itself almost waiting for her to get over it so she can help fix everything (or at least that's how she feels.)
Feels bad seeking comfort from or being comforted by the library
The library is something that's connected very strongly to Ioun! He feels like Khunoth and Emily would be furious at him for that, Emily especially. Now does Lyra need to talk to someone? Absolutely. Is he gonna feel any less guilty? Not really.
2nd mockup: Titled "approximately winter" because iirc the campaign started at like…the tail end of summer, and it's been about 3 months (2 months of travel time and 1 month of Actual Shit happening) but don't quote me on the exact timing. Hence the approximately. It could be the beginning of winter, or the end. I also wanted to encompass the whole season to leave wiggle room time-wise for the emotional recovery aspect.
Dysphoria gone! Yay! A combination of them feeling better emotionally and the thing that was causing it being gone. She's more confident again, yippee!
Quest full-time? Maaaybe by this point, he's spending most of his time outside the library going on Kate's quest and looking for the book. Again, it's a timing thing. I imagine once they're in a good enough state for it, they go like. Full detective on it and have a notebook dedicated to their findings and stuff. Additionally, if this is the case, they probably go by Elion at this point! For the record, if any of her family members were still around, she'd probably prefer that they call her Lyra.
Old party members find her Speaking of which! If any of the people from Elion's other parties were to find him, they would've found him by this point, most likely. It's been a while since the godslaying ended and the funeral's happened so word's gotten out about who was involved. Now, based on my memory (but the last time we got recognized was a while ago) people knew the names of the godslayers, but not the faces. There are people who've been tracking the party, but that's a small group, I think. So Elion's party members miiiight not know she's a godslayer unless she tells them? Again, questionable how much the general public knows, and we've been getting adventuring parties sent after us so. It could go either way.
Sorry if this is like. Unfollowable without context, I might fix it in the morning. I also will say, the reason old party members is getting brought up at all is because a friend wanted to hug Lyra after hearing what happened to them and I said ":v she- she's been in other parties, you could have one of your characters know her iyw-" and they said yes, so I'm trying to think about it now, just for funsies XP
There's more art, but with how long this post already is I'm just gonna post em separately.
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catcze · 2 years
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Hey Catte, I'm a new anon here. This is the first time I've actually asked for a request so im scared I'll get this wrong lmao. So today my dads father passed away, and im feeling really in loss, cause this is the first time i've lost family. I was wondering if I could request fluff w/ kazuha with him comforting the reader after losing a family member? Please ignore it if you can't<3. Also, if I could be an anon, could I be 🐇 anon? If not, then 🌹 anon? Thanks if ya take up this request. <3
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Hey, sugar <3 Unfortunately, my requests aren't open now, on account of, well, stuff HAHA But I felt this was rather important, so I managed to whip something quick up that'll hopefully still have the same vibe as an actual request !! Sending comforting forehead kisses n warm bowls of soup (if u like soup??) your way babe <3 (also dw dw, you got the whole ‘sending a request’ thing perfectly fine)
Also, it ended up not being, like, all that fluffy, aside from the fluff that comes with comfort and hugs :(( imo it veers more on the hurt/comfort genre? I wasn’t sure how to really make the ‘comforting after a loss’ realistically mainly fluffy, so I had to go with a mixture. I hope it’s not a problem, babe </3
⠀!! Feat: Fluff & angst and hurt/comfort, can be romantic or platonic, comforting hugs, modern AU bc i didn’t feel like conforming to his in-game flowery speech, i tried to b vague with how the reader copes with grief since people all deal w it differently, but the reader cries + isolates themself in their room + calls Kazuha to not be alone + wants physical touch as a comfort
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Kazuha is quiet when he approaches you first, careful to not overwhelm you or to do anything that might make you uncomfortable.
He enters into your room to find you perched on the bed, head hanging low. When he asks if he can come in, you don’t say anything–– merely scooting to the side to make room for him. 
He doesn’t touch you, doesn’t say anything while you cry, muffling the sounds with your hand. He’s not sure what you need right now, but if your short call asking him to come over was any indication, he at least knows that you want him here with you.
For some time, the only sound in the air is your crying. It goes on for a bit, until your throat is scratchy and your voice hoarse. Kazuha doesn’t move from where he sits the entire time–– doesn’t reach out to touch you, doesn’t attempt to hug you without your say-so. All he does is sit and wait, let his presence help ground you, and wait for you to come to him. 
It takes some time, but eventually your sobs taper off into quiet hiccups, and only when you tentatively reach out to grip the sleeve of his hoodie does Kazuha turn to look at you. 
Your eyes are watery, lips cracked. Your skin is warmed from how long you’ve cried, and even the hand that grips his clothes so tightly trembles. Kazuha stays quiet, waiting for you to say something maybe, though you say nothing, eyes looking anywhere else but him.
“...do you want some water?” is what he says first, in a quiet voice. There’s no pity there, no judgement as he watches your sad, trembling form. Just empathy and everlasting patience. When you nod, his other arm goes to the paper bag he had brought in with him, pulling out a bottle of water and easily cracking the seal for you, the noise resounding in the silence of your room.
He hands it to you, eyes watching a bit more intently to make sure you don’t just gulp it all down (it would just make you feel worse–– instead, he makes sure you take small sips until the bottle is at least half-empty.) Kazuha doesn’t say anything the entire time, letting you take things at your own pace. The silence between you goes unbroken for the time being–– even when you swing your legs onto his lap, and curl yourself into him
Kazuha tentatively begins to rub your side, his hand a comforting warmth. To his relief, you burrow further against him instead of pulling away, and he rests his chin on the top of your head, hoping that his presence could benefit you.
A few more seconds of silence–– then your sniffles start up again, growing and growing until the tears come once more, and you’re crying into his hoodie, eyes tightly closed and hands fisted in the fabric while you hold him close to you as you sob. And he lets you. Kazuha’s arms come to hold you–– one draping across your thighs while the other wraps around your middle, holding you–– curving around you as if he could shield you from all the grief and sorrow if he tried hard enough.
“I– I miss––” it’s hard for you to say, the words coming out garbled and hiccupy around your sobs. It’s hard to accept, to acknowledge. Saying the words out loud are enough to truly make you realize who you’ve lost. You can’t even complete the sentence before a pained sound escapes you.
“I know,” Kazuha says, his tone a soothing lull. A melody that never fails to calm you, even in the worst of times. His hand goes to rub absent circles on your skin. Even as you sob and cry into his jacket, dampening it with your tears, his hold on you does not once falter. If anything, he holds you even closer, rubbing your back while you let it all out.
At times like these, there’s nowhere else that Kazuha would be than by your side. Even if his his legs go numb, even if his hoodie is stained with your tears, there’s nowhere else he would rather be. He coos quietly as you keep crying, a comforting sound.
Because even as you are sad and in pain and fractured into a million bits on the ground, for as long as you will let him, Kazuha will always be there to help you pick up the pieces. 
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peachycheol · 3 years
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| lost in translation |
➸ summary: jeonghan asks you to translate some of his fans’ comments, but you hadn’t expected them to be so... dirty.  ➸ genre: pwp  ➸ pairing: idol!jeonghan x english-speaking friend!reader ➸ warning: dirty talk, oral sex (m. and fem. receiving), face fucking, deep throating, cum swallowing <333, **the italicized comments are in english**  ➸ w.c: 2.6k
➸ author’s note: hi i’m alive!! i’m so sorry to have kept you all waiting for so long, but i kinda just lost my mojo for a little bit 😔  but worry not- i have experienced a reawakening and i am now more of a whore than ever so hopefully i can get back to posting more. i have a lot i have planned out, but i wanted to get a quick fic out to y’all as a BIG THANK YOU bc i reached so many milestones while i was gone 🥺 🥰 💕  i love you guys and i’m really glad ppl are reading my fics haha
this fic is based on the infamous jeonghan gym video, y’all know the one (thank you to @haechanblr​ for reminding me of it and helping me with this fic i love u so much!!). i was actually in the middle of writing this when hoshi decided to post his own gym video and PHEW. JEEZ. I’M STILL RECOVERING. anyway, i hope you guys enjoy this one bc i really enjoyed writing it 💖 🍑 
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[ foreversvt ] commented: I AM ON MY KNEES  [ yoon1004 ] commented: is it jeonghan’s birthday or is it mine [ happy bday angel! ] commented: YOON JEONGHAN ???? [ twinkluvr69 ] commented: grrr wanna slurp those noodle arms like spaghetti 
You continue scrolling through the comments left underneath the video, trying to keep your face composed as you come across more and more explicit reactions from fans all over the world. Seokmin had uploaded the video to Weverse as an innocent birthday prank for Jeonghan, but he probably had not anticipated just how horny their fans could get over a seemingly harmless video of Jeonghan doing some leg presses. To be fair to the fans though, you yourself had watched the clip several times and you would be lying if you didn’t say you were… affected. 
“Well? What are they saying?” Jeonghan leans over to watch you scroll, and you are acutely aware of the warmth of his arm pressing against yours. The two of you are sitting on the floor of  your living room with your backs resting against your couch, hanging out after a small birthday dinner with some of his other friends. As one of Jeonghan’s english-speaking friends, he had asked you to help him translate some of his birthday wishes before his day ended, though you’re not sure how to tell him that his fans are not exactly sending in wholesome professions of love. 
Instead, you decide to try giving him some tamer versions in the hopes of satisfying him before you get to anything too blunt. “This user says you have noodle arms, but I think they like it so it’s okay.” 
“Hey! I’ve been trying my best to get thicker, but not all of us can be born beefed up like Seungcheol.” 
“You asked me what they said!” you laugh. “Most of these are just birthday messages anyway-- I’m sure you don’t need me to translate ‘Happy birthday, I love you!’ a thousand times.” 
“Yeah, obviously I understand the more common phrases, but there’s so many that I don’t understand today for some reason!” Jeonghan huffs, then points to a comment that you had purposefully hid under your thumb. “Like okay, what’s that one say?” 
[ seungcheolswife ] commented: wow the way this video made my pussy clench,,,, 
“Uh,” you start, already feeling your ears go warm. Should you just lie? It’s not like he would be able to tell, right? You and Jeonghan are close, but not so close that you can just say these things to him. Especially when this comment may be hitting a little too close to home for you. Even now, you remember the bolt of arousal that shot to your pussy the moment you  heard Jeonghan’s first grunt of effort. You bite your lip. No, Jeonghan really didn’t need to know about that. “I-it says something like ‘you made their heart flutter’.”
“Wait.” Jeonghan takes a moment to scan your face before his eyes narrow at you suspiciously. You give him your best innocent smile, but you already know he’s caught you. You had always been a shitty liar. “What does it really say? Is it bad?”
You sigh. Of course he hadn’t bought it. “No, it’s not bad. I just don’t know if you want to hear stuff like this…” 
“Well now I have to know. Tell me exactly what it says.” 
“E-exactly?” You meet Jeonghan’s stern gaze and you know that there’s no convincing him otherwise. What Jeonghan wants, Jeonghan gets. “I-it says that the video made their p-pussy clench.”
After several beats of silence, you look over to Jeonghan to see he is completely unaffected by the comment. Or maybe he is. His eyes glint mischievously in the light when he responds.  “I said exactly, baby. Try again.” 
Your whole body feels hot under his smug, expectant gaze; you should be surprised by the sudden pet name, but it only makes your mind fuzzy with the beginnings of arousal. You swallow thickly, unable to disobey him. “T-this video made m-my pussy clench.” 
“So naughty… Just this short clip has your cute little pussy all needy,” Jeonghan clicks his tongue, but a knowing grin spreads on his lips. His words have you shifting in your seat in an attempt to relieve the dull ache setting in between your legs, though you don’t dare let it on. It’s clear Jeonghan is playing a game with you, and although you know you’re going to lose, you’ll be damned if you let him win so easily. “Let’s read some more, hm? Translate this one for me.”
[ daddy_hannie ] commented: omg i bet jeonghan makes the hottest sounds when he’s fucking 
The comment he scrolls to nearly makes you whimper. It’s embarrassing how clearly you can recall the sound of each of his low groans coming through the screen, how sexy he sounded. Images of Jeonghan on top of you, his eyebrows furrowed as he grits out desperate groans of pleasure, leave you in a daze while your panties quickly dampen with your arousal. 
“Go on.” Jeonghan’s firm tone only makes you squirm more, and this time he takes note of the way your breathing has gone shallow and how your eyes are already hazy. 
“I bet Jeonghan makes the hottest sounds when he’s fucking,” you say softly. 
Jeonghan chuckles, his breath tickling against your neck. “Now you’re just making me blush, sweetheart. I bet you’d make some pretty noises when I’m fucking into you too,” he muses casually. You finally let out a soft whine, tired of holding your breath as he moves to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. 
“J-jeonghan…” 
“Hm, I think we should read a couple more,” the boy says, ignoring you and scrolling through more of the comments. You pout - your wetness has already soaked through your panties, your cunt just aching for his attention, but of course Jeonghan isn’t done teasing you. 
You’re wondering how long it will take for him to finally push your back to the floor and fuck you senseless when you spot a comment that might help you get you what you want quicker. ”I want to read this one,” you tell him, already rubbing your thighs together in anticipation. 
[ ~hanniehae!~ ] commented: god i KNOW your dick is big like PLEASE I WANNA SUCK UR DICK SO BAD
He raises an amused eyebrow at you, and you wait for him to stop you, biting back a smile when he doesn’t. You make sure to look him in the eyes when you say it, his own dark eyes telling you that he’s impatient for you too, and you nearly let it out in a whine from how much you mean it. “Please Jeonghan… I want to suck your dick so bad.” 
For a sliver of a  moment, Jeonghan goes rigid. Then, his smug smile returns as he brings up a thumb to tug on your bottom lip. “Mmm, such a pretty mouth saying such filthy words,” he sighs, shaking his head. “If you wanted to put it to good use, all you had to do was ask, baby.” 
Jeonghan chuckles at how eagerly you follow him as he moves to sit on the couch behind you, keeping his hold on your chin so that you keep your eyes on his. He has you kneel between his legs and you don’t waste any time in reaching for the button and zipper on his jeans. 
The man helps you tug his pants and boxers down to his ankles, and your mouth waters at the sight of his hard cock springing back against his stomach. Of course it’s pretty just like the rest of him. “You’ve been teasing me all this time, but you’re already this hard?” you whisper tauntingly as you lean forward to ghost your lips over the base of his shaft. 
Jeonghan’s shaky exhale does not go unnoticed by you, but his response comes out smooth as ever. “Could you blame me? You just looked so cute getting all worked up from saying all those dirty things about me. I bet your little panties are soaked through by now-- guh!” He lets out a surprised groan when you suddenly flatten your tongue against him, letting it drag slowly up to his tip. 
“You talk too much.” You look up at him with a smile before you wrap your lips around his leaking tip, savoring the taste of him on your tongue. Teasingly, you swirl your tongue against his slit until you feel his hand thread through your hair, as though he’s begging you for more. You decide to be nice, lowering your mouth further down his cock, letting him feel the slide of your wet tongue on his sensitive skin. 
A soft sigh leaves his lips at the sensation, pleasantly carding his fingers through your hair as you take as much of him as you can. “That’s it. Good girl.”
His praise has you clenching around nothing, and you whine as you steadily begin to bob your head along his hard cock, reveling in how he would let out small whimpers whenever you would lightly suckle on it. 
Just as he gets used to the feeling of your mouth on him, you suddenly take him as deep as you can into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks tightly around his cock. “Oh, f-fuck!” Jeonghan lets out a strangled moan, his hips lifting from the couch to fuck further into your mouth. 
You feel the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat, but it only spurs you on even more as you swallow around him, causing him to throw his head back in ecstasy. At this point, a dull ache starts setting in your jaw and drool begins to messily slip from the corners of your mouth as you return to sucking him at a more steady pace, and you feel your pussy throb from how dirty it all felt. Though you and Jeonghan did flirt occasionally, he had always felt off-limits to you-- he’s an idol and you’re just one of his normal-person friends. But here you are with his cock in your mouth, all thanks to the horny thoughts of his fans no less. 
To their credit, they were right. Jeonghan does make the hottest sounds while fucking. He lets out another throaty groan from above you and, unexpectedly, he pulls you off his cock. His pupils are blown wide with desire, his chest heaving slightly as he looks at the state you’re in with your swollen lips and the drool on your chin. “Can I fuck your mouth?” he asks breathlessly. 
“Yes please,” you reply, voice already a little hoarse from your efforts. You shift back on your knees to make room for Jeonghan when he stands, opening your mouth obediently when he moves to slide his cock back onto your tongue. Jeonghan tightens his grip on your hair, keeping you still as he starts to fuck into your mouth with quick, shallow thrusts. “Mmh!”
“Fuck, your mouth feels so fucking good, baby,” Jeonghan sighs appreciatively. You bring your hands up to grip at the backs of his thighs to keep yourself steady when his thrusts become a little more erratic, causing you to gag around him as his cock continues to hit the back of your throat. Still, all your focus remains on hearing more of Jeonghan’s pleasured groans, on seeing his face scrunch up in absolute bliss, so you keep your mouth open wide despite the tears that prick at your eyes. When Jeonghan looks down at you taking his cock, eyes glazed over and fucked out, he curses loudly. “Shit-- can I come in your mouth?” 
Unable to speak with your mouth stuffed full, you cutely give him a thumbs up. Jeonghan would have laughed if he wasn’t so close to cumming. With several more thrusts, he cries out a strained warning before his hot release fills your mouth. He rides out his orgasm, twitching in your hold as his pleasure bleeds into oversensitivity. Once he’s pulled out, you make sure to stick your tongue out so he can see how his cum coats your tongue right before you swallow it all down; all he can do is smile thinking about how he really should have fucked you sooner. 
“So good for me,” Jeonghan says to you softly, helping you up to your feet so that he can pull you into a heated kiss full of tongue and whimpers. You desperately grip onto Jeoghan’s shirt, pressing your body against him in search for some sort of relief for the arousal that is pumping through you and straight to your neglected pussy. He can’t help but smile against your lips. “Don’t worry, baby, I’ll take care of you now.” 
You let him lead you to sit on the couch-- this time you are the one sitting on the edge of the cushions with Jeonghan’s head between your legs. He slides a hand over your clothed core, humming when he finds that you really have soaked straight through your panties. Just as you begin to squirm underneath his teasing fingers, he strips you of both your leggings and underwear in one swift movement, leaving you bare before him. 
The sight of him pushing your legs apart is enough to leave you in a daze. Your breath catches when you feel cool air brushing against your inner thighs, slick with your wetness, then it all comes out in a whine when you feel Jeonghan’s velvet tongue swipes at the spot for a taste. “O-oh!” a cry slips from your lips once his tongue finally slides through your folds. “Mmh!” 
“Does it feel good?” Jeonghan whispers, not bothering to wait for a proper answer because your broken moans tell him to keep going. He spreads your lips open with his fingers, eating you out slowly and deliberately as though he is savoring his favorite meal.
The room is filled with your soft whimpers and the lewd sounds of Jeonghan’s mouth working against your pussy and it only tightens the pressure in your stomach, causing your toes to curl. “P-please-- please let me cum,” you rasp out, and your eyes roll to the back, your hand clutching tightly at the back of Jeonghan’s head, at the feeling of his tongue flattening against your clit. “Ngh! Y-yes!” 
He skillfully flicks his tongue on your bud, shaking his head back and forth until his chin is absolutely covered in your juices. When your hips begin to move of their own accord, he lets you ride his face as you please, his cock twitching at how desperate you are for him. “S-so good,” you sob, only able to mutter unintelligible nonsense in your delirium. Then, he wraps his mouth around your clit, and you’re left squealing as your legs begin to shake from how obscenely good it feels. “Shit, I-- I’m--!” 
You come undone with a loud cry of Jeonghan’s name, your body going rigid from how hard your orgasm hits you. Jeonghan takes it all, his eyes closed as he works you through your release, only letting up when you slump away from him.
The both of you finally look at each other properly in the aftermath, chests heaving and hair wild. Suddenly you’re both erupting in giggles at the realization of what you two had just done. “What are you looking at?” Jeonghan asks, eyes bright as he smiles handsomely up at you. 
You reach down to swipe your thumb against his chin, which is still shining with your cum, barely able to contain your giggles. “Who’s got the dirty mouth now?”
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caravelmp3 · 3 years
Text
UNDER THE CANYON MOON
pairing: josh kiszka x female!reader warning(s): mostly fluff, just brief mentions of alcohol and sex  word(s): 2k note: hi hi hi !! this is just a little something i wrote up the last couple of days with the inspiration of light my love, canyon moon by harry styles, and the interview where josh talked about road-tripping the u.s. last summer <3 i don’t write one shots often but let me know what you all think bc i might shuffle some more out soon lol. hope you all enjoy !! :) 
The Los Angeles sun was hot, beating down onto the city basking in its late-summer hues. You parked your car on the street in Silver Lake and carried a bag of food and drink tray to the door of a recording studio, more than prepared to be swarmed by hungry boys who had been cooped up in the studio since five a.m. on the dot that morning. They had a breakthrough the night before with a new song, and after getting home and going to bed for a few hours, the creative juices started flowing again and they were back in the booth. 
A windchime on the door sang as you pulled the door open and walked inside, greeting their manager who was at a table by the door. 
“The boys here?” 
“Down the hall,” he nodded, pointing a finger in the direction of the hallway. “They’re more rowdy than usual so be prepared,” 
You laughed and turned down the hall, walking towards the studio. The walls were decorated with memorabilia of rock and roll greats and record plaques, and among them, you spotted a picture of the four boys with their Grammy award. It seemed like time had passed so quickly. They won the award for the first album and they were already working on their third, shooting them further into stardom. 
“Coffee’s here!” You shouted in a really bad New England accent when you noticed the recording light was flipped off above the door. 
You stepped into the room to a chorus of cheers and “thank god you're here”’s that made you laugh while sitting the food and drinks down on the table and they all rushed over. You handed out the specific orders and pointed to which drinks was theirs when they got handsy and tried to grab everything from her out of both excitement and some desperation for caffeine. 
“Our savior,” Jake said, reaching out and grabbing your shoulders to give them a gentle shake before taking the coffee you were holding out to him, and then you handed Danny’s to him, too. 
“Just the coffee girl here,” 
“Well, you’re a little bit more than that,” Josh said, walking over to the table to grab his full cup. 
You pressed a hand against the table, leaning over to him. “Just a little?” 
“A little bit,” he shot you a wink before swiftly pressing a kiss to your cheek. 
You were more than just a “little more” than the coffee girl, you were typically their designated drunk driver, the one who took all of their candid photos, the mediator in times of need, and well, the girlfriend of the lead singer, too. 
Everyone in the studio took their food and drinks and scattered among the seating area in a break from recording. Instead of one tiny room with all of them cramped together, they had a wide open space with booths for the different instruments and bean bag chairs and big comfy, velvet sofas, and there was dim lighting with deep toned rugs that gave off the vibe of a more relaxed feel rather than the fluorescent-light, tiled-floor feeling that made them feel rushed and confined by rules they didn’t set themselves. 
You liked the studio, too, and often took naps on the sofa while listening to them play instruments individually in the recording booths and while they were writing. One night they had found you at two a.m., bundled up with a blanket on the bean bag chair after they spent the night writing in the front room on the piano, but it wasn’t the first time as you often napped in their Nashville recording offices, too. 
“You guys been busy today?” You asked jokingly while lowering onto the sofa armrest, receiving nothing but glares shot in your direction. “Okay, okay, touchy subject,” 
With a mouthful of bread, Sam pointed to Josh, “Josh finished a song, didn’t you?” He was grinning. 
You hummed in joy and surprise, grabbing Josh’s knee as he sat next to you. “Really?” 
It had been a rough few days for all of them as they tried to shuffle out a few more additions to the new album. It felt incomplete with something missing, but they couldn’t quite put their finger on what it was exactly, so they attempted to bring back and revamp old songs, write and record new ones, but nothing seemed to stick, until now. 
“Yeah, wanted to wait and show you later, but someone can’t keep his trap shut.” Josh said, pretending to be serious before cracking a smile and taking a sip of his coffee. “Just wanted it to be a surprise,” 
“Well it can still be a surprise, I’m surprised now,” you said. “Can I hear it? Or read what you got?” 
Josh nodded and stood, grabbing your hand and pulling you with him. There was a little recording room fit with a piano inside, his writing journal placed on the music stand where he had scribbled notes and keys and melodies in pen. He picked it up and handed it to you. 
“Nothing seemed to click until last night, when I started putting it together.” He said. 
“Is that why you wouldn’t tell me what it was when you all got back to the house?” 
Josh shrugged, pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger. “Yeah, yeah, I wanted it to be special when you first heard it.”
You sat the coffee cup down onto the floor while lowering into the small chair in the corner, holding the journal like it was the most delicate piece of art in the world. In silence, while Josh watched on anxiously, you read the words he had splayed across the blank page. 
     Can you light my love?      Flames glowing bright as the sun      Deeper than oceans you run      Watch as our world has begun 
     Your mind is a stream of colors      Extending beyond our sky      A land of infinite wonders      A billion lightyears from here now
You felt your throat tighten, tears tempted your eyes. 
It was a love song. 
“Josh-” 
“Oh god you hate it don’t you, you dread it, despise it,” 
“Oh shut up, I’m in tears right now, you know I love it.” You looked up at him with a smile and a sniffle. 
His words across the page were sloppy, some cursive, written in different pens of different colors, some lines crossed and scribbled out, others underlined. 
“Your mind is something I will never fully understand.” You told him as he sat down on the chair next to you. “How the fuck did you come up with this-” 
“I was thinking about our trip out here, the week we spent driving out and all of the stuff we did… and how I think I fell more in love with you.” His voice softened. 
You reached out, placing your arm on his shoulder, fingers playing with his curls. “I can’t put it into words how much I love it, how much I love you,” you said, “and you make me sound so lovely when in reality I know I was a pain in the ass that entire trip.” 
“Yeah, but my pain in the ass,” he kissed the inside of your arm. 
Two weeks before the boys left Nashville to head to Los Angeles, Josh called you at midnight with an idea in mind – the two of you renting a camper to drive out to L.A., falling into all of the tourist traps along the way and stopping in random small towns to sleep while exploring the in between, which would definitely beat the boring four-hour flight. And you, half asleep and across the country, agreed. 
It would be fun. Right? 
And it was. Every time someone asked how it went, you called it “the most magical week of my life.” 
While the others waited behind for their flights the next week, you and Josh set off from Nashville, heading west with only the destination in mind and a trusty map in hand. Everything else just came to you both. 
The first stop was three hours in the trip, in Memphis. You and Josh roamed Graceland on Elvis Presley Boulevard and had lunch near Sun Studio before taking in the mementos and relics at the Blues Hall of Fame where Josh talked your ear off, rattling off more details about each band and singer than was on the info-cards on the wall. 
Then it was two hours to Little Rock, falling asleep in the back of the camper after a take-out dinner outside of a random supermarket. Sitting in lawn chairs in the middle of a parking lot, you held Josh’s hand under a blanket and watched the pink sunrise over the hills, and then it was back on the road again. 
From Oklahoma City to Amarillo, you fiddled with the map when Josh got lost after a wrong turn in a small town where he insisted on seeing the giant 66-foot LED soda bottle sculpture, and in the middle of northern Texas, he made it up to you by cooking your favorite dinner. You thanked him in a quiet whisper as you crawled into the bed with him that night, sliding under the covers where he greeted you with warm hands and kisses against your neck that made you squeal with the tickle of his mustache and he grinned against your lips. 
Josh got to choose the music all the way through New Mexico – Neil Young and Crazy Horse to John Denver’s Thank God I’m A Country Boy, and you were only able to squeeze in Joan Baez every hour when you stopped to stretch your legs on the side of the road, belting the words to him while he laughed at your voice cracks. 
And after you both pitched the tent in the Petrified Forest in Arizona, Josh hummed the tune to some new song while you two sat under the midnight stars in the canyon with a roaring fire, his arm around you, his sweatshirt draped over your shoulders. When he tried to start telling you a scary story after you heard a weird noise outside the tent, you blindly hit him in the dark and accidentally hit his nose, causing you both to burst into laughter after the initial panic left. He laughed loudly into your shoulder as you held his face in shock, catching the scent of your lavender lotion, and his body relaxed when the laughter died down, feeling so at peace in his life with you there. 
It was the tail end of the trip, but the excitement hadn’t died down yet. After showers in the camper in the middle-of-nowhere-Arizona and five hours west, you and Josh found a bar outside of Las Vegas that resembled Coyote Ugly, so you both had a round of tequila sodas and margaritas before walking around the small town that evening and sleeping off the tipsy-headaches in the air conditioning. On top of the covers, you looked at Josh napping in the sunshine, cheeks flushed red, curls poofy from the wind, and you felt your heart grow in your chest before falling asleep next to him. 
And then came Los Angeles, the final stop, the dreaded one. But you and Josh didn’t tell anyone that either of you were sad to be back with them in L.A. when they asked, and instead, you two smiled and hugged everyone after piling out of the camper in the drive-way of the Silver Lake house. 
Cleaning out the camper, tossing cheesy novelty t-shirts at each other and laughing at how many socks you two managed to lose along the way and how many bug bites were added, watching the developed clips Josh had filmed of scenes in the desert and you asleep in the passenger seat, you both were nostalgic about a trip that just ended. 
It was so easy, so freeing to just be together on the road, with only the destination in mind. It revealed a part of them that the other didn’t see often, like your tendencies to get your lefts and rights mixed up while giving directions, and Josh’s equally awful sense of direction didn’t exactly pair with the fact that he was a maniac while driving in the first place. 
But those parts were just added to the long list of why you and him loved each other in the first place. So you became the designated driver after Amarillo and Josh stuck to telling you “left or right” for the rest of the time. It was a compromise, another reason why you two worked so well together. 
It was a form of love in itself. 
“We’ll have to drive all the way back to Nashville then, so you can write more songs about me.” You teased. 
Josh rolled his eyes but cracked into a grin a second later. “Let’s not get too carried away,” but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t always mentally reliving the night under the canyon moon.
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edna-skiffens · 3 years
Text
The Best Medicine
Summary: You are in the hospital, but you can never sleep in hospitals. Good thing you have a very attractive night shift nurse who is willing to help out.
Word Count: 4.5K
Warnings: hospitals, light med talk, bad medical writing, fluff
A/N: Please ignore the plot holes or the fact that this isn’t the most realistic and also I know this isn’t how discharge works at the hospital.. It’s called fiction for a reason, darling. Also, I left the reason the reader is in the hospital open ended bc some of us may have medical conditions/reasons that we can attach to this, but if not I tried to keep it vague enough on purpose so that you can imagine whatever. Also if you like Nurse!Tom and have requests for him lmk bc i’m happy to write for him.
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Toss and turn. Toss and turn. The routine was getting old. This was your third night in the hospital and sleep just wasn’t coming to you.
Maybe it was the medicine they had you on. Maybe it was the constant symphony of sounds and people passing in the hallway. Maybe it was because you weren’t at home in your own bed.
Maybe it was just because you were in the hospital.
You couldn’t be sure. What you were sure of is that you weren’t falling asleep anytime soon.
Feeling another presence in the room, you looked from the ceiling to the doorway where you saw Tom, one of the night shift nurses, standing cautiously.
“I didn’t wake you did I?” He asked as he eased his way inside.
“Nope.”
“So no sleep again, huh?”
“Nope.”
“Sorry darling. Let’s go ahead and get these vitals over with.” He took your blood pressure, oxygen levels, temperature and wrote it down in your chart. Putting the clipboard back on its hook at the end of the bed, he looked up at your tired face. “Okay. So now about that sleep. What do you think will help?”
“Not being in the hospital.”
He chuckled lightly while walking back towards your bedside.
“I know. You hate it here. You’ve made that very clear and I try not to take too much offense to it.” You let out a slight laugh and held back the fact that he was the best part of this whole experience. He almost made it worth it. “I’m sorry we can’t give you any sleeping medication. Do you think it’ll help if I talk to you?”
“You mean tell me bedtime stories?” You couldn’t help but tease him at the adorable suggestion, though it sent a swarm of butterflies off in your stomach.
“I was thinking more like bore you ‘till you fell asleep. But whatever works.”
“You’re the nurse. If you think it’ll help.” You both sat there smirking at each other for a moment. Something unspoken floating in the air between you two.
“Well, I need to finish my round of vitals first. I’ll come check on you when I’m done and if you’re still up we’ll see about those stories.”
“I’ll be here.”
About fifteen or twenty minutes later you heard a light tap on your door followed by “Still awake?”
“Always.”
“You up for a chat?” Tom asked as he made his way to the stool then rolled slightly closer to your bed.
“Got nothing better to do.” You teased again.
“Okay. Well you should probably lay down.”
“Oh. It’s going to be that kind of story, huh?” His laugh was so beautiful and you were happy you were the cause of it.
“No.” He corrected in between laughs “The goal is to get you to sleep. So sitting up won’t help.”
“Right. Right.”
“Well.. anything in particular you’d like to talk about?”
“Why did you choose to become a nurse?”
“Ahhh. Good question. So I actually went to an art school.” You couldn’t help the brief expression of surprise that crossed your face. “I know. Shocking. I did training specifically in dance and gymnastics and I loved it.”
“Wait, so what happened?” You asked, turning on your side to face him more comfortably.
“Well one day we were rehearsing for a show and I fell. Ruined my knee. Had to do physical therapy for months. I tried to get back into it, but it just wasn’t the same. However, through that process I learned a lot about medicine and the health side of things. It really turned me on to it. And when my Plan A got a bit messed up I thought ‘hey, this could work’. So far it’s treated me pretty well.”
You smiled at Tom, admiring his passion for his career and the determination he had to keep pushing after his accident. You enjoyed hearing him talk about it too. If you didn’t know any better you would say it was helping you relax.
“My story that boring?”
“Obviously.”
“Your sarcasm has no end.”
“Oh… goodness.. you thought that was sarcasm?”
Tom only laughed and shook his head the way he often did with you.
You may just have been his patient and he may have just been your nurse, but you both bonded. He kept you company and gave you comfort. In return, you kept him entertained during the quiet night shifts.
“I’m not going to sleep. I'm just resting my eyes. But still listening.” You told him as you nestled further into the hospital bed, trying to find a position that would make it comfortable.
“Okay, darling.” He grinned at you.
“Tell me more. What kind of-” You had to stop to yawn, “What kind of art stuff did you do?”
“Oh. Well, I was in a few musicals. I really enjoyed dancing. I did ballet ever since I was young and I love the control I have over my body. The tricks I can do with gymnastics or the turns and leaps. I mean I can’t do them to that level anymore, but I try to stay active.” He glanced up and noticed you hadn’t moved, “Are you still with me?”
“Mhm.” You barely respond.
“Okay. Well it was a performing arts school so we really were trained in many areas. We had classes in acting, singing, dancing, all of it. It was a lot of fun and I met my best friends there.”
Tom began telling stories about his time at school. Before he knew it, he lost himself and track of time. He looked back at you, quiet and still.
“Y/N?” You were finally asleep. “Goodnight, darling.” He whispered as he gently made his exit.
Because Tom worked the night shift, you never saw him when you woke in the morning. Instead, Tanya, a sweet nurse that felt like a big sister, or Linda, Nurse Ratched in the flesh, came in for morning vitals and meds.
You counted down the days until your release. Life in the hospital was pretty uneventful with the limit on visitors and limited activity. There’s only so many sitcoms one can take in a given timespan. The only thing that you really looked forward to each night was when Tom clocked in.
“Hi Y/N.”
“Hi Tom.” You would smile at each other.
“How are we feeling today?”
“Better. Ready to get out of here.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear you are feeling better and still ready to jailbreak.” He smiled while writing something down on your chart. “They should be bringing up your dinner tray soon and then I’ll bring by your evening meds after that.”
“Okay.”
“If you need me you know what to do.” He called to you before walking out the door.
You were disappointed when Shelley brought your evening meds by later. She was a nice enough nurse. She just wasn’t Tom.
You’d grown accustomed to mainly having him as your nurse during the evening shift. At first you weren’t sure if it was coincidence or on purpose, but after a few nights of staying up and talking, you grew closer to him. You saw less of the other nursing staff and more of Tom.
You tried not to build anything up in your head. You were sure everything he was doing was in his job description and a part of being a good nurse.
He would sneak you extra pudding cups from the cafeteria and bring you an extra heated blanket because you could never stay warm. If you needed a new IV, he held your hand to ease the anxiety. He kept you company and made you feel less alone in such a sterile and intimidating place. And when he noticed you had trouble sleeping he chose to sit with you to help you fall asleep. You couldn’t help the butterflies that built in your stomach.
It became a sort of routine. He checked on you during evening vitals, even if someone else was doing them, and you were always still awake. He would then come and sit with you and chat for a bit, telling you different stories until you eventually fell asleep.
Some nights when you were extra restless he would help you walk the halls.
“The doctors have to see you’re stable enough before you can be discharged. Plus, maybe it’ll tire you out.” He suggested.
He would help get your IV pole ready so you could walk with it. He helped you into your slippers and eased you out of bed after passing you your robe.
Walking the hall slowly, Tom knew he had to remain professional, yet he found a few excuses to graze his hand across your back to ‘steady you’ when you turned corners or he thought you were looking tired.
“It might take me a while to get back to my usual jogs in the park, huh?” You laughed in spite of yourself.
“You’ll get there. Baby steps.” He encouraged, as you turned around the Nurse’s Station. You missed the faces the other night shift nurses were giving you both, but Tom was sure to subtly flick them off. “So, do you like running?” He asked as you headed back towards your room.
Throughout your late nights together, he told you of his three younger brothers and his dog named Tessa. You spoke about what you would do when you were out of hospital. He talked about his friends and flatmates and the adventures they had. He told you many stories, but each morning when you woke up he was clocked out and the day shift nurses were there.
Tonight was your last night. You’re set to be discharged tomorrow and while you are ecstatic to go home, you’re going to miss one thing about this place.
“I bet you’re too excited to sleep tonight. I don’t know if my stories will even help.” Tom said as he sat down next to you.
You smiled up to him sweetly.
“What are you looking forward to the most once you get out of here?”
“Sleeping in my own bed.”
“Well that’s no surprise.” Tom laughed, a contagious sound making you giggle as well. “Isn’t there anything you’ll miss about this place?”
“Yeah.” He smiled “There’s one thing.”
“What’s that?” He asks.
“The pudding cups.”
“Ahh the pudding cups of course.” You giggled while fiddling with the IV line.
“They just don’t taste the same in the outside world.”
His smile grew wider as you giggled.
“No, but really. As much as I give this place grief and say I’m ready to get out of here - which I am,” You gave him a pointed look to which he held his hands up in mock surrender, fully believing you, “it hasn’t been too terribly awful I guess.”
“Oh, well, I’m glad we could make your stay not too terribly awful.. I guess.” He teased. “Do you have anything exciting to look forward to once you’re a free woman?”
“Nothing huge planned, really. The doctors did say to take it easy.”
“That’d be wise.”
“Yeah. I’ll just lay low for a while. My sister said she may try to come visit me though so that would be nice.”
“Oh that would be nice. She’s your older sister right?”
“Right. She moved away last year to be closer to her boyfriend.”
“Ah. Do you like him?”
“Sorry?”
“This boyfriend. Do you like him?”
“He’s alright, I suppose. He makes her happy.” Tom nodded along.
“And do you have a boyfriend that makes you happy?”
“N-No. No I don’t. Not at the moment.” You began fiddling with the IV cord again.
“No boyfriend or not a boyfriend that makes you happy?” He asked.
“Neither.”
“Well that’s a shame.” If the heart monitor was connected you would’ve been screwed. “I just mean someone needs to look after you once you get home. I hope this sister comes through for a visit. You’ve got to take it easy.”
“Oh I’ll be fine.”
“I’m sure you will be.” He smiled.
“How has your shift been tonight? Busy?” You asked, fighting back a yawn.
“A bit busier than usual. There was a slight emergency earlier which is why Shelley handed out meds tonight. Sorry I didn’t come around.”
“It’s alright. I know you have other patients.”
“Yeah, but none like you.” You were sure he said that to all of his patients. After all, you’ve heard similar lines ever since you went to the pediatrician as a child. But it still gave you butterflies.
“Are you getting sleepy?”
“A little. But it’s okay.” He gave you a pointed look but continued to talk anyway. “It’s the last night. One final request for storytime. Make it a good one.”
You thought for a moment before asking your question.
“Do you ever wish that life turned out differently? That you never had your accident and you could’ve followed your dreams to be a dancer?” You asked while turning on your side and getting more comfortable.
“Sometimes. At least, I used to. But I think I’ve accepted it now. And I really can’t see myself doing anything but this.” You nodded taking in his answer “I look at it this way. If it wasn’t for my injury then I never would’ve changed my career path and found my love for medicine. I never would have made so many of the friends I’ve made or the memories I’ve made. I never would have met you.” He finishes with a sweet smile.
“That’s a very positive way of looking at it.” You told him. “Be honest, are you a therapist during the day?” He laughed out loud.
“No. I’m not. I guess I’m a big believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’.” You nodded while covering a yawn.
“So I’ve been curious to ask you,” He began, “Do you usually have this much trouble sleeping? Because you can get help for that you know?” You smiled at him.
“What? I thought a night nurse talking to you was the cure?” Tom smirked and shook his head. “I’m kidding. No, I normally don’t. It’s just the stiff sheets and hospital sounds I think.”
“Darn hospital.” He rolled his eyes and joked. “So this time tomorrow you’ll be sound asleep in your own bed then?”
You knew it was meant to be a happy statement, but you were a little sad at the thought of not having any more late night chats with Tom.
“Yes. Thank God.” You forced a smile.
You felt another yawn coming and tried to hold it back. It was already past the usual time that you fell asleep.
Tom could tell you were exhausted so he launched into a story from nursing school, hoping to lull you to sleep.
You yawned your way through listening, trying to soak up every last moment with Tom. In the morning he wouldn’t be here. You’d leave and likely never see him again.
When he finished, your eyes were half open and he wondered how you were still awake. Or maybe why.
“Why are you fighting it? The point is to sleep. Give in.” He told you gently after another yawn.
You looked up at him, half asleep and rubbing your eyes, not finding the confidence to tell him the true reason you were trying to stay awake.
“I’m happy right now.”
He smiled down at you.
“I am too. But you need your sleep, darling.” You weren’t sure what to say and you didn’t have much energy left in you anyway. “How about this. I’ve probably been in here too long as it is. Let me go check in at the Nurse’s Station and then I’ll come back and check on you soon and see if you’re still awake okay?”
The thought that he was leaving gave you a sad feeling in your stomach. You tried to remind yourself that he was just your nurse. Nothing more.
“Okay.” You smiled at him, sleepily, while settling further into the bed.
He stood up and instead of walking towards the door he walked closer to you. He grabbed the thin, white hospital blanket and pulled it closer around your shoulders.
“Goodnight, Y/N.” He whispered before he walked to the door.
“Tom?” You called out just before he opened it. He turned around with an expectant look, “Thanks for everything.”
Even though the room was dim you could see his smile.
“You’re welcome, Y/N. Get some sleep.”
You don’t remember much after that. You don’t know if Tom came back to check on you. You just remember falling asleep with a smile on your face.
When you woke up the following morning it felt like any other morning in the hospital.
The hallways were much louder. Beeps, chatter, and phones were constant. The lights were brighter.
But you were quickly reminded that it wasn’t any other morning. You were going home today.
The door creaked open and Tanya, one of your regular daytime nurses, poked her head in.
“Oh good you’re up.” She made her way inside and over to the gloves. “How’d you sleep?”
“Pretty good. Thanks.” She gave you a smile, something hidden behind it.
“I’m sure.” She said quietly to herself. You gave her a questioning look. “Oh I just mean I’m sure you’re excited to get out of here.”
You nodded as she took your vitals one last time.
“Everything looks good. What do you say about getting this IV out?”
“I say that sounds amazing.”
She took it out and bandaged up your arm while informing you of how the morning would go.
“Dr. McCoy is making rounds now then he’ll be by soon to go over your discharge. You can get dressed whenever you’re ready. If you need help, buzz me. You’ll still have a breakfast tray come, but you don’t have to eat it.” She gave you a wink while taking off her gloves.
“Thanks Tanya.”
“Of course, sweetie. And in case I don’t see you before you go, you’ve been a wonderful patient. Take care of yourself.” You smiled at her as she left you to change into some leggings and a sweatshirt.
You were packing your remaining things into your bag when your doctor walked in.
“Y/N! How are we doing today?”
“We’re doing great because we’re going home.” You smiled while taking a seat to rest for a few minutes.
“I know you’re excited.” He laughed before explaining the conditions of your discharge. You had medicines to take, a follow up appointment, and strict instructions to rest for the next few weeks. After signing some forms he left you with a stack of papers. “Is someone coming to pick you up?”
“Yeah my neighbor should be here within an hour.”
“Sounds good. Don’t hesitate to call us or come back in if you have any trouble or questions.”
“Will do. Thanks.”
A few minutes after he left a nurse brought in your breakfast tray. There wasn’t much of a point for it but since your discharge wasn’t technically until 10:30 am you were still a patient during breakfast.
You took the pudding cup that you requested with every meal off the tray before sliding it away. Smiling to yourself, you tucked it away in your bag. All you had left to do was wait for 10:30.
Tanya came in to check on you again and told you to buzz the Nurse’s Station when you knew your ride was here. At 10:27 you had a text from your neighbor that they were out front in the pickup zone. So you hit the call button.
“Yes?” Linda, the scariest dayshift nurse, answered.
“Um hi. Tanya told me to buzz in when my ride was here so I could go down.”
“Okay we’ll be right in.”
Not even a minute later you heard your door open. Expecting to see Tanya or maybe even Linda you looked up.
An audible gasp left your lips when Tom stood in your doorway with a wheelchair.
“I hear someone needs a ride?” He smiled as he made his way closer to the bed.
“Tom. What are you still doing here?”
“I pulled a double.” You wanted to ask why, but decided against it. You were still in a little bit of shock from seeing him again. “If you’d rather I can go get Linda to walk you down?” He pointed back towards your door.
“No! No.. I’m just surprised s’all.”
“Well come on. I thought you’d be running out of this place once the clock hit 10:30.” Glancing up you saw it was now 10:34. Your neighbor is probably tired of waiting already.
You grabbed your discharge papers and reached for your bag when you heard, “I got it.” Smiling at him, you sat down in the wheelchair. Tom placed the bag around his shoulder and kicked the brakes off the chair. “Ready?” You nodded up at him.
He rolled you out of the room that felt so small for a final time. You passed the Nurse’s Station and waved bye to the staff. He turned by the elevators and when you looked up at him in question, he read your mind. Looked down at you he said, “We’re taking the staff elevators.”
When you made it there he hit the button, turning you around and backing you in once the doors opened. He hit the button for the Lobby and leaned up against the wall of the elevator, briefly glancing at you, as you rode down together.
“Well you made it. You’re a free woman.” He smiled shyly.
“Yippee.” He met your eyes for a moment before looking back to the floor. The dynamics felt different. It wasn’t like your late night talks together.
“Listen, Y/N.” Tom began as he stood up from the wall and faced you. He was about to continue when the elevator ding cut him off, signaling you had reached your destination.
Maybe that was what was different. You had reached your destination.
You had a fun time talking with Tom and entertaining each other when you were both up late at night. He was fun to get to know and you enjoyed having someone care for you. He was easy to banter with and certainly easy on the eyes. But your time at the hospital was up. You knew it would be eventually. You wanted it to be.
Tom was a nurse. He was just doing his job. He was helping take care of you. He was being nice. He was trying to make your stay more comfortable. There was nothing to read into.
Your time being his patient was up and your time with him was up.
You tried to remain realistic, but the sadness still crept up as he rolled you closer to the door.
Once outside, you saw your neighbor exit the car and wave you over. Tom steered in the direction and slowed before rolling to a stop and hitting the brake locks on the wheels.
“Hi, I’m Taylor.”
“Tom.” They shook hands as Tom passed off your bag for Taylor to put in the backseat.
“I’m sorry for the circumstances, but it really has been a pleasure having you as a patient and getting to know you, Y/N.” Tom admitted as he walked around to face you. He grabbed the papers from your lap. “Take care of yourself, okay?” You had shared many smiles with Tom, but this one felt sadder.
“I will. Thank you for everything, Tom. I mean it.” You reached up and squeezed his hand. He gave you a light squeeze back while smiling down at you. Taylor returned from the backseat of the car and Tom turned to them.
“These are her important papers about follow up appointments, medications, what to do at home, all of that so please make sure she doesn’t lose any of them.” He emphasized the point.
“Got it. Thanks.” Taylor held onto the stack while Tom turned back to you.
“If I can’t handle a few papers on my own, then maybe I shouldn’t be going home yet, Tom.” You laughed.
“I know, I just wanted to make sure they made it home with you.” He walked closer. “You ready to get in?”
“Yeah.” You nodded. He helped you up, supporting you just as a precaution. Once seated, you took a moment to catch your breath as you pulled the seatbelt down. He met your hand, taking it from you to buckle you in.
“You good?”
You nodded with a smile, “Just a little tired. No biggie.”
He looked you over before returning your smile, though his didn’t quite reach his eyes, “If you need us, call us. Otherwise go home and rest.”
This was it. This was goodbye.
“Thanks, Tom.”
“Goodbye, Y/N.”
He shut the door. He walked back to the wheelchair, released the brake locks and headed inside. He looked back only when your car was driving away.
“Here’s those papers that are so important.” Taylor handed you the stack after they got in.
“Thanks.”
“So how are you feeling?”
“Better. Thanks.” You felt them looking at you as they joined traffic.
“You sure? You sound like you feel awful.”
You try to remind yourself to forget the sweet and attractive nurse and start moving forward.
“Yeah. Yeah I’m okay.” You decide to distract yourself by reading through your discharge paperwork, when something caught your eye. On top was a sticky note with the hospital’s letterhead. You were sure it wasn’t there before. Looking closer it read,
Y/N,
In case you need someone to talk to when you can’t sleep.
555-5555
P. S. I have a connection to some pretty good pudding cups too.
Tom
The smile that grew on your face was undeniable. All the feelings you suppressed came flooding in. He wasn’t just being nice. He actually liked you.
One thing you knew for sure was that even though you would be in your own bed tonight, you still would be up, talking to a very special nurse.
Lmk if you want to be on my tag list
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Hello. I had a question regarding your post about blind characters. I have a character in my WIP that must cover their eyes.. but it’s blind. He may need to tell people he is blind to explain why he covers his eyes though. I was wondering how I might write this character without offending. Thank you :)
I think I want to start by explaining the “covering blind eyes” trope and why it has become a harmful trope. I think understanding why it’s hurtful helps everyone learn how to handle it better.
I would guess that the “blind people wear sunglasses” trope comes from Hollywood for the specific reason of 1. wanting to signal to the audience that the character is obviously blind and 2. avoid breaking the suspension of disbelief by preventing the audience from catching the sighted actor look at visual stimuli (because disabled characters are almost always played by able actors).
But this changed the way the public expects to experience blindness. If watching a sighted actor wear sunglasses and say he’s blind is all the exposure to the blind community a person has had, that’s the only model of blindness they’ll recognize. If they meet a blind person in real life who doesn’t wear sunglasses, it’s going to break this built perception and cause an uncomfortable cognitive dissonance. 
And then there is the common “cloudy-white blank gaze” that pops up in media. It stems from the fact that cataracts is the most common cause of blindness and the appearance of severe cataracts is a cloudy film in the eyes obscuring the iris and pupil. It can also alter what color a person’s eyes appears to be, making them appear paler and grey in the beginning and then as the cataract advances it becomes more yellow/brown and alters a person’s vision to appear more yellow tinted.
There are lots of other eye conditions that makes the eyes look visibly different. Albinism for instance affects the color and structure of the iris. Eyes might be congenitally misshapen. The muscles might be weak or not work and one or both eyes point significantly outward. Someone who was born blind and experienced no visual stimuli might also have weak muscles around their eyes because they never had a reason to focus their eyes on anything.
And unfortunately humans have the habit of feeling uncomfortable when they meet someone who looks very obviously different from the norm, whether that’s a personal style choice (hair color and style, tattoos, clothing choices) or something they can’t help (a visible disability, skin color, scars). 
To the paragraph above, @gothhabiba replied with:  “it's very weird & ahistorical to claim that racism or ableism are some kind of natural "human" trait.. like frankly it's apologia”
You’re right, I wasn’t thinking beyond that generalization or assumption.
Perhaps a better way to put it is: I was raised in a society where I was taught from childhood to think that there was only one kind of human being to be. White, cis, straight, abled, conservative. That’s a very western thing and that’s a thing I’m going to constantly be unlearning.
Racism and ableism and homophobia aren’t innate, that’s a western thing that was forced onto the rest of the world by colonialism. And because western media created this idea that the world is white, abled, cis, straight, and Christian-value leaning, it taught people to think that was the norm so that seeing someone different from that archetype would cause a cognitive dissonance, which causes discomfort.
And instead of working past that cognitive dissonance to learn more and realize there’s so much more to life than media taught you, society encourages you to ignore that cognitive dissonance by sticking your head in the sand-- or TV screen.
So combine these two tropes or common beliefs together and you get something a little dangerous: the idea that blind people cover their eyes because they look obviously different and they’re ashamed (or should be ashamed) of that.
And if you’re someone who’s just gone blind or who was born blind and you have little to no contact with the blind community, then this societal belief that you should be ashamed of how your eyes look becomes detrimental to your self-esteem and further builds internalized ableism.
I’ve lost count of the times I’ve read or watched a blind character cover their eyes with sunglasses because they were ashamed of how their eyes looked. And I distinctly remember a few times where a sighted friend of the character was trying to convince them to stop wearing sunglasses because there’s nothing wrong with looking different--which is true, but it plays into this fantasy of being the perfect abled ally who saves the blind character from being miserable. 
In an ideal world, the character has no reason to believe looking different is a bad thing or diminishes their worth or makes people dislike them. And if they develop this belief, it’s more likely that someone more involved in the disabled community, most likely someone disabled themselves, will set them straight. Or that the character will learn to accept themselves on their own, looks included.
But there are some perfectly valid reasons for any blind person to wear sunglasses. They might have an interest in fashion and sunglasses complete the look they’re going for. They could want to protect their eyes from UV rays while they’re outside. They may experience light sensitivity and sunglasses reduces any discomfort or pain. Those are incredibly common reasons to wear sunglasses whether you’re sighted or blind.
But there are some more complicated situations.
In your words, your character must cover his eyes. You never specified why, so my primary guess is that he has some kind of power that is unpleasant or has devastating affects and the only way to prevent it is to keep his eyes covered. My primary guess stems from this post where an anon and I discussed a retelling of Medusa, a hypothetical blinding of oneself to avoid ever killing anyone ever again, and what I think I would do if I was in that scenario.
So how do you write a blind character who must cover their eyes and avoid some of the complications?
1. Your character must always have the ability to say “fuck off, it’s my business, I don’t have to tell you why I’m blind or why I cover my eyes.”
Most blind people really, really don’t want to get into the nitty-gritty of why they’re blind and how they feel about it and what it’s like being blind with a stranger they’ll never see again or a new acquaintance they don’t know well yet. You have exceptions to that rule where sure, educating the public about blindness is a thing you want to do and you’re committed to helping your community, but I still have days where I don’t want to talk about being blind or disclose my medical crap.
And if someone doesn’t respect their right to their privacy or pushes too much, the blind character is allowed to be angry, is allowed to tell them off and complain without anyone else in the situation vilifying them or saying they’re “overreacting” and “should have just disclosed private information because big deal or whatever.” If they are angry, that’s their right, and it’s not unreasonable, it doesn’t make them a bad person.
2. Your character should not be ashamed of being blind or of covering their eyes. It is a part of their life, they’re used to it by now, even if they weren’t in the beginning.
The shame and internalized ableism is something that should be written about, but that’s for an own-voices story with a blind author. I don’t think an abled person will ever be able to understand how much society expects you to hate yourself and your disability because “being disabled is a tragic thing that ruins your life” and how that does affect your mental health, self esteem, your relationships with others, your medical care, and what kind of accommodations you can get.
3. It wouldn’t hurt to have a few sarcastic lines in response to uncomfortable conversations.
Stranger: so what’s with the...
Blind Character: what’s with what?
S: the... you know
BC: you’re gonna have to be a bit more specific
S: Your eyes?
BC: They’re... eyes
S: but you’re...
BC: Blind?
S: uh...
BC: yeah, I’m blind. *walks away*
Or this conversation:
S: *to some other character* so why are his eyes covered?
(author’s note: which, honestly, that’s fucking rude. At least have the guts to ask me yourself)
BC: If I look anyone in the eye they instantly perish.
*awkward silence*
BC: instantly.
Friend: It’s truly tragic
BC: *melancholic* that’s how I lost my sister. *chokes up* She was so young
Or this conversation:
S: Why are you wearing that?
BC: It’s called fashion Karen!
Or this conversation:
S: are you like... blind?
BC: yes?? why wouldn’t I be?? Wait, are you sighted? Are you one of those sighted people? You poor thing! What caused you to gain your sight? Do you have a car? A bike? Were you born sighted? What’s it like to see color? Do you miss not having to see 
God, I want a chance to try that last one. I haven’t interacted with a stranger in almost a year. One day...
4. Honestly, it’d also be cool if someone’s reaction to your character covering their eyes was like, “cool sunglasses,” or “cool *insert random character, even one you made up* cosplay,” (which is ten times funnier if this character is a notable figure in modern society like an actor who people might cosplay). 
5. You know, if he’s covering his eyes with some kind of blindfold, he should totally have custom blindfolds for his moods. Like, I have a mask that says “suck it up buttercup” and another that says “not today” because sometimes that’s the mood. And sometimes the mood is one of my floral masks, and sometimes the mood is my cat mask.
So, just some thoughts. I hope that helps.
Edit: a commenter said: “op, unless i'm mistaken this kind of reads like anon meant the character ISN'T blind but lies about being blind to explain covering their eyes? it seems like they made a typo on the word "isn't"”
So my original response to the question was based on the assumption that the character is blind. However,
If the character is not blind, then do not under any circumstances have them lie and say they’re blind to escape a mild inconvenience. 
It’s better to have the character actually explain the situation or straight up leave the conversation or invent a more ridiculous lie than to perpetuate the very real stereotype and misconception that there are people who fake being blind and therefore it’s okay to discriminate or harass them if you even suspect they’re faking.
Do not under any circumstances perpetuate that stereotype. Do not harass someone because you don’t think they’re blind enough.
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mello-jello · 3 years
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hi jello!! what about post timeskip levihan? commander hanji is working very hard and rarely, rarely sleeps (let alone eats and bathes properly. its worse than before now though.).
what if one time levi discovers hanji passed tf out due to sheer exhaustion in the most weird and random of places. he doesn’t want to wake them up bc hanji def needs the rest so he carries/tucks her into bed.🥺❤️
JAZZY thank you for the prompt! I kind of combined it with this one too:
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Thank you, Anon!
Preview:
Hange gave a small laugh before saying, “Thank you Levi, I feel much better now.”
“Tch, you haven’t even done what we came here to do,” Levi scoffed.
Hange made a confused sound.
“Drop the dish.”
It had been 3 years since Shiganshina. Levi climbed into the carriage and sat across from Hange, who was still reading through her notes from the long and grueling meeting that lasted for the better part of the day. All the highest ranking military officials had been called to the capital to discuss Paradis’s best course of action. Queen historia was there, along with her staff, advisors, and of course Zackley. Levi had been to plenty of these meetings before, but this time was different in a bit of a distressing way.
Over the years, Levi had watched Erwin defend the scouts countless times. From questionable means of gathering information, to explaining away hundreds of lives lost, he always had an answer for everything and he always managed to leave with a favourable image. It was something Levi truly admired and even envied about Erwin.
But now he had been watching Hange flounder. She has indeed improved over the last 3 years, but she still doubts herself and while it might not be known to those around her, Levi can’t help but feel sympathetic to her situation. Today however, the other officials had been particularly ruthless.
“Take a break, Hange,” Levi ordered. Hange just sighed. Then her stomach growled. “Have you eaten today?”
“Uuuuuuuhhh,” Hange mused as she genuinely struggled to remember.
“Tch, there’s your answer,” Levi crossed his arms. The rest of the officials had a big dinner scheduled for tonight, but of course the Survey Corps got shafted and had to leave early in order to prepare. Hange met his eyes again with an exhausted look he was all too familiar with.
“How have you been sleeping?”
“Not great,” she admitted. Levi’s stomach sank. He had dealt with his own insomnia his whole life, but it seems worse on Hange. Perhaps it was the stark contrast from her former bubbly and loud personality. Hange pinched the bridge of her nose and let out another long sigh. Levi couldn’t help feeling inadequate and helpless. He rarely got himself to sleep, how could he help Hange?
Levi looked out the window at the setting sun when he got an idea. He realized what Hange had been neglecting while trying to be a good commander. Something that wasn’t just eating and sleeping. Something that was unique to Hange.
“Hange, there’s one more thing you need to do before we leave.”
Hange raised an eyebrow.
Levi told the driver to wait for them and escorted Hange to the dining hall.
“Levi, we were technically invited, but I don’t think showing up for food after we already said goodbye is a very good look for us,” Hange practically whispered.
Levi opened the doors and they were greeted with a sweet aroma of bread, appetizers, and whatever was going to be the main dish. Hange’s mouth watered. The long elegant table was decorated with ornate candles, beautiful china, crystal glasses, and there were 4 sets of cutlery for each place setting.
“Relax, they won’t be here just yet. They will all be busy getting dressed for dinner.”
Hange grabbed a bread roll and took a huge bite, not bothering to chew before she commented, “I never understood ‘dressing for dinner’ ugh. What’s the point?”
Levi was about to make a half hearted comment about how Hange could never fit in with “civilized” society, but he stopped himself when he saw she was eating and was a little bit more relaxed. He found a small plate of savoury looking appetizers and handed it to her. She immediately took one.
“MMM, Levi!” she exclaimed, pointing at the plate. She popped another in her mouth before saying, “you gotta try these!”
Levi put up a hand and said, “you enjoy.”
Hange enthusiastically cleared the whole platter in less than a minute, and Levi was watching her, endeared at the behaviour. He had missed this side of her. Despite how gross it was, there was a glimpse of the carefree Hange he once knew. A small hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
Then Hange belched.
“Disgusting,” Levi waved the air in front of his nose.
Hange gave a small laugh before saying, “Thank you Levi, I feel much better now.”
“Tch, you haven’t even done what we came here to do,” Levi scoffed.
Hange made a confused sound.
“Drop the dish.”
Hange’s one eye widened as she processed what Levi was saying.
“C’mon, you need to blow off some steam. They were total assholes to you today, and for what? You didn’t know the exact amount of your food budget? And yet,” Levi gestured to the banquet. He then picked up a delicate looking wine glass. He held his arm outstretched, and loosened his grip, letting it crash to the ground. “Oops.”
A mischievous smile stretched across Hange’s lips. “Oops,” she mimicked Levi and let the empty platter fall to the floor, breaking into dozens of pieces. She slowly started to lap around the long luxurious set up, like a predator admiring her prey before pouncing.
“Right? And Nile, ugh, what a hypocrite! Giving me shit for not knowing about that small thing, belittling me in front of everyone,” Hange snapped a salad plate against the edge of the table. “It wasn’t too long ago when he would have been the first to admit he had no idea what the first interior squad were up to! We had to find out for ourselves. Erwin was almost hanged!” Hange kicked a chair over on its side.
“Yeah, fuck Nile,” Levi egged her on. He took a seat at the head of the table and started sipping from one of the water glasses.
“Is this his spot?”
Levi shrugged but Hange was already pouring out a glass of wine all over the white seat, staining it a deep crimson. Levi hid his delight behind another sip.
“And did you catch what he said at the end? ‘Some of us have wives to get home to’”, she imitated in a mocking tone as she casually pushed a platter of dumplings off the table. “Yeah, run home, Nile. Run home to Erwin’s SLOPPY SECONDS!”
Levi blew water out of his nose, and before he could react, Hange reached under the short side of the table and flipped it over, sending its contents hurtling across the room. Hange was elated at the result, laughing almost maniacally.
“Idiot,” Levi hissed, grabbing Hange’s wrist and leading her out the side door. He heard footsteps, and so he instinctively dove into nearby shrubbery, taking Hange down with him.
They hid in the bushes for minutes, Levi pressing his hand to suppress Hange’s uncontrollable laughter. It had been so long since she’d laughed like this. It was infectious and Levi might have actually laughed himself, were it not for the fear of getting caught. He had no problem telling the MPs where to shove it, but he didn’t want Hange to get in trouble. Her whole body was convulsing, and it was rattling the leaves around her. Levi used all his body weight to stop her jerky movements.
After about another minute of total silence, Hange tapped Levi’s arm, signalling to let go. He was hesitant, but he obliged. Hange drew a couple deep breaths, fanning herself, trying to calm down from laughing so hard. Levi was transfixed by the way the moonlight danced on her tear-stained face. They stared at each other for a moment before Hange snickered once more, causing Levi to cover her mouth yet again. “You’re impossible,” he said, pushing her head back down.
Once the coast was clear, they ran back to their carriage, hand in hand. Partly because Levi wanted Hange to keep up, and partly because it felt nice to hold her hand. They ducked their heads until they were off of the main roads. A few minutes later, Hange started giggling again.
“What?” Levi asked.
Hange bit her lip playfully as she reached into her coat and pulled out a bottle of expensive wine she must have swiped from the banquet.
Levi rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help his smile. She looked like a child that just got away with stealing more dessert. She looked joyful for the first time in a long time. She yanked out the cork and took a swig before offering the bottle to Levi. He graciously accepted and tasted the wine for himself. It was too sweet for his taste, but he couldn’t deny that it was spectacular.
“That’s nice,” he commented.
“Pfft! It tastes the same as the cheap stuff!” Hange scoffed as she took the bottle back. Any other time, Levi would have teased her and started an argument, but not today. He wanted to cherish this moment. He leaned over to look at the stars through his window. Not a bad ending to an otherwise terrible day.
After Shiganshina, he and Hange had lost so much. Their comrades, friends; life as they knew it had completely changed and they barely had a moment’s breather to come to grips with it all. Levi was unfortunately accustomed to it, but Hange wasn’t. Hange had been so strong through all of this and Levi wanted to find the right words to tell her. Maybe it was the exhaustion they both felt; maybe it was the close proximity, but for some reason, somehow, Levi felt a tiny bit of courage surge through his veins.
“Hey, Hange, I-”
When he turned to look at her, she was fast asleep, neck crooked as she cradled the bottle of wine. Levi smiled at her. She looked peaceful, like she was getting quality sleep. He took the bottle from her arms and gently maneuvered her to a more comfortable, lying down position. He removed his jacket and draped it over her, as a make-shift blanket.
“Goodnight, Four-Eyes,” he mumbled to himself and returned to his seat. Hange slept the whole way home. When they finally arrived in the southern barracks, Levi couldn’t bring himself to wake her up. He quickly ran their luggage up to their rooms, and came back for Hange.
Being as gentle as he could, he scooped up the commander and ignored the curious look he got from the carriage driver. She was taller than him, and her long limbs made the trek a little difficult, but he was determined. Her steady breaths tickled the skin of his neck.
He carried her up the winding staircase and into her quarters. He lowered her on the bed, careful not to go too fast. He cradled her head for a split second longer than he needed too. He took off her long boots one at a time, placing them silently on the floor at the end of the bed. He undid the top two buttons of her jacket and shirt, just for comfort. Then he pulled the blanket up to her chin, and tucked around the sides.
Finally, he removed her glasses and eyepatch, caressing the tender skin underneath. Placing them on her night stand, he got up to leave. The door hinge creaked as he opened it, and Hange stirred.
“Mmm Levi?” She called out.
Levi wasn’t sure if she was actually awake, or if she was sleep-talking. He was still deciding whether he should answer when she continued, “Thank you, Levi. For everything.”
“You too, Hange,” he spoke just above a whisper, as he closed her door.
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stutterfly · 4 years
Text
Failure to Communicate
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This was a joint collab fic that @gukslut​ and I worked on, commissioned by @cypherft-v as part of our fundraising for Black Lives Matter. Thank you for contributing! Banner & moodboard by me :)
{Pairing} Park Jimin/ Reader
{Genre} Enemies to Lovers/ College AU/ comedy/ smut
{Rating} Mature - Explicit 
{Word Count} 21K
{Warnings} oral, kissing, fingering, protected sex, biting, marking, other filthy shit
{Summary} You've always had a crush on Park Jimin, but the truth is that you're just one of many. He just so happens to be the TA for one of your classes, and you're determined to make your feelings known. Whether or not he takes you seriously remains to be seen.
{Prompt} Could either of you write an enemies to lover story about jimin and y/n set in college where he was her TA and got her kicked out of her major bc he didnt give her the grade she needed and was generally unhelpful? Posted on tumblr on August 17, 2020 by stutterfly and cross-posted to Ao3. I do not allow reposting, translations, or edits, to any platform, including YouTube.
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Ten more minutes. You can barely see the clock from your seat against the wall. The lecture hall isn't crowded by any means; to the contrary, this Tuesday/Thursday psych class is usually pretty empty. You could have just as easily sat in the middle, but it doesn't afford you the same view. Well, it does. But not the one you prefer. It's just that positioned front and center, your staring would look more obvious. At least that's what you're telling yourself. If you stare from the corner it's less conspicuous, which is important because you do a lot of staring in this class. Park Jimin is the TA.
The man in question sits off to the side at a table of his own, typing away on his laptop. This reminds you that you haven’t been doing much other than quietly ogling from a distance. The only notes you're taking are lackluster doodles of his appearance and the occasional squiggle of your pen at the quiet sighs he lets out when he stretches his back after sitting hunched over his laptop for too long.
Jimin is absolutely breathtaking — even in an ugly plaid three-piece suit and perfectly round spectacles that would look horrid on any normal person. You're definitely not the only one who has noticed. His beautiful features and fantastic bone structure forge a man who is borderline ethereal. With soft eyes, big pouty lips, a flawless complexion, and a flirtatious demeanor he has enraptured many over the years. He's popular... like, really popular.
You begrudgingly count yourself among those love-smitten numbers. You know it’s hopeless and illogical. He could have any person he so desired at any point in time. Why would he ever choose someone like you? If you’d been paying any sort of attention to the subject matter of this class you might know that things like feelings and life’s rhetorical questions often don’t make sense.
But you’re shit at psychology. You’re more of a blunt poet at heart, and that heart is often hidden behind twisted brambles of anxiety and sharp thorns of insecurity.
You are but a speck of dirt upon his round glasses. It’s been a hopeless, silent crush for some time, but now that he’s assisting the professor in this core requirement for your academic studies, he has to acknowledge your presence. You’re a speck he has to look at before swiping you out of sight with a wave of his hand.
He's the object of just about everyone's affections, and rightfully so. He's not just gorgeous, he's charismatic, charming, and such a smooth talker. The word on campus says those pretty lips of his can do a lot of other really wonderful things too. You've been watching him chew on them for the past five minutes straight, wondering how many times his deliciously pink tongue can sweep over them before he makes them chapped.
Maybe they're chapped already. Maybe you should offer him your chapstick? Or maybe you should never talk to him at all, because you don't stand a chance. Park Jimin would chew you up and leave you bleeding out with a broken heart, and you know it. That doesn't stop you from imagining all the ways he could take you in his mouth first. You could watch those pretty lips all day long, but you’ll settle for an hour on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Looking up as if he's been paying attention all along, Jimin attempts to figure out where the professor is in the lesson. It’s obvious that he wasn't listening at all and was instead answering messages. It would be nice if he could say they were messages for class, but that's not true and Jimin is a lot of things, but he isn't a liar. He's been talking to Chungha, his current flavor of the week.
He turns toward the students as the professor dismisses the class and there you are, eager and awestruck. It takes every ounce of self control Jimin has not to roll his eyes. Another fan, he presumes. You can't handle him, but he can tell by the embarrassed way you tear your eyes from him to look anywhere else that it hasn't stopped you from thinking about it.
Trying to seem nonchalant now is a lost cause. Jimin has no shame and although you busied yourself by packing up your neglected textbooks and darting your gaze to various points in the room for a straight minute, Jimin is still staring at you when you look back at him. He smirks when your eyes meet. It's not a flirty kind of smirk, you sadly note. It's condescending in your eyes, which further solidifies your theory: Jimin is too much for you no matter how badly you want a taste of him.
"Did you take notes?" he asks, nodding toward your backpack where you've just tucked your computer and sketched up notebook.
"I- uhh..." You panic.
"You know that was all about the exam next week. You're gonna need those notes if you want to have any hope of passing it," he tells you, shoving his own computer into his bag.
"I was just.. um, I was--" you attempt to explain.
"Busy staring at me?" He smiles and you know he knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s teasing oh gyou.
You balk at the blatant accusation and force a half-laugh, half-scoff from your throat. “No.”
"Yes," he corrects with a light and mellifluous laugh. "Is there pen on my face or were you hoping you could be?"
"What?" you choke, eyes watering at the idea.
Jimin shakes his head, laughing softly to himself as he remembers his surroundings. With a small clear of his throat and the subtle adjusting of his tie, he provides a suggestion for you. “Get them from Taehyung.”
"Get what?" you ask, drawing a blank on what this conversation was even about. It's the first time you've ever actually talked to him outside of your dreams and it’s proving to be a lot harder than you thought it would be.
"The notes, Y/N. Get the notes from Taehyung, you know, the ones that you didn't take today because you were daydreaming about my mouth," he tells you, heading for the door.
Taehyung, who is the only other person left in the room wiggles his fingers at you in a wave. When you turn back, Jimin is gone.
"Need the notes?" Taehyung asks, voice free of judgement.
"Please," you sigh, relieved that he'd waited.
He spins his laptop toward you, where an email is already open with the notes attachment added. "Drop your address in there," he says standing up.
"Thank you so much," you say, frantically typing your student email into the space.
"Hey, y/n?" Taehyung asks, the bristles of curiosity or concern painting his tone with a soft comfort.
"Yeah?"
"Jimin is a fool," he tells you.
"What?"
"If you were looking at me like that, I'd at least ask for your number." Tae offers a combination of large hopeful eyes and a giant goofy grin as he holds his phone out for you.
Giggling, you take it from his hand and add your number to his contacts list. He purses his lips to hide his excitement as he takes his phone back. He slides it into his pocket before hastily packing the rest of his things into his leather messenger bag.
"Thanks, Taehyung," you say, waving on your way out the door.
"Wait!" he shouts after you, half of the contents of his bag threatening to spill onto the floor as he scrambles away from the table. He adjusts his belongings and clears his throat, instantly adopting a smooth persona. "Where are you going? I'll walk you."
"My car?"
"Wanna come eat with me?" he wonders. He's confident, but it's not the same kind of arrogant confidence that Jimin oozes. He's softer. He feels more real, more attainable. He obviously knows he's a catch and he’s definitely expressed the same about you. What could be the harm in letting an attractive man stroke your ego a little bit? If you’re being honest with yourself, you can use the boost after such a pathetic display towards your crush.
"Oh, uh... yeah. I guess so," you agree, letting him lead the way out the door.
"Cool." Tae takes his glasses off and hooks them in his shirt. Pulling a snapback from his bag, he pushes his hair back and puts it on before he swings his messenger bag over his shoulder. Damn. Why did that raise his hotness like ten whole levels?
"You like hamburgers?"
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Taehyung slips into the seat next to you on Thursday, brushing against you very deliberately as he passes.
"Hello, sugar," he says, licking his lips as he spares a fleeting glance down at your chest.
"Hey, Tae," you greet him while your eyes are still locked on Jimin.
"Still on Jimin, huh?" he asks. He doesn't sound particularly disappointed, or surprised for that matter. He's just stating a fact. You're relieved he's not offended. Letting him eat you out in his backseat after dinner was probably not your best decision, although it seems like it meant about as much to him as it did to you.
"I don't know," you say with a shrug.
"It's okay. I can't blame you. I could put in a good word for you if you want. We're close," he informs you, sitting back and spreading his legs wide under the desk.
Sighing, you rest your cheek in your palm. "I've got a plan," you confess.
"Oh yeah?" he chuckles. He playfully knocks his knee against yours as if to signal for you to spill. "Do tell."
"I think I need a little extra help with this material," you tell Taehyung.
"Good luck, Y/n. I hope he can squeeze you into his busy schedule, but hey, if he can't, I'm totally down to squeeze into yours anytime."
Looking at Tae out of the corner of your eye, you smile at the grin he wears and start to laugh at the way he wiggles his eyebrows at you.
"I'll keep that in mind," you joke.
"Please do."
The minutes drag on as you wait for this class to end. Doing your best to seem a little less obsessive this time, you make a point to take notes and look at the teacher more than the TA. Jimin still catches you staring at least three times. It's embarrassing, but not enough to stop you from approaching him as the room empties out.
"Hi, y/n," Jimin sings, giving you a knowing smile.
"Hi." You tuck your hair behind your ear, and smile back.
"Do you need something?" he wonders, purposefully combing his fingers through his silver hair.
Damn, do you ever.
"I was wondering if you had time to help me. I'm struggling with this material and I could really use some one-on-one guidance." Leaning over his desk you make sure he has a good view right down your shirt, not that his eyes wander from yours. While he shows restraint in his gaze you swear he briefly drags his bottom lip through his teeth before he catches himself.
"One-on-one, huh?" He sticks his tongue in his cheek, looking amused. "I bet Taehyung would give you some one-on-one guidance."
You're sure that's true, but it's not Taehyung you're after. Taehyung isn’t the TA. Taehyung isn’t getting paid to help teach a course. Of course you want to say that and in your head you rehearse the words but you can’t seem to find a way to phrase them eloquently enough. Why do you always get stupid brain around him? Your plan is quickly falling apart.
Jimin waits for your response with his eyebrows raised. You know he's two seconds away from leaving you gaping at him and walking out the door, so you do something incredibly rash and stupid.
"I like you," you blurt out.
Jimin smiles. He knows that, obviously. He also knows damn well that you're perfectly capable of looking back at your notes by yourself. You're definitely smart and dedicated enough to study on your own. He can't help teasing you anyway.
"Everyone likes me," he casually informs you as he plants his palms on the desk and leans on them.
He peeks over the edge of his glasses as he looks up at you, like some kind of otherworldly sexy librarian. If deities ever needed a librarian, Jimin wouldn’t even need a resume. His charm and seduction are so strong that you almost miss his rejection. Almost. You're stunned into silence when it hits you. Just as you're about to tuck and run, he smiles again.
"But,” he pauses to click his tongue thoughtfully, “I think I have some time on Saturday. I'll give you my number.” He rips a corner of paper out of his notebook. "Is it okay if I come to your place? Do you have a dorm or…”
"Oh. My apartment’s fine!" you flounder, trying to remember how to speak coherent sentences. Jimin. In your room. How many dreams have you had about this moment? "I mean, yeah, sure. You'll come to mine, yeah."
Jimin giggles and it sounds like pealing bells. You're lost in the beautiful sound of it until you realize that he's laughing at you. "You okay with that? We could meet somewhere else instead."
"I wouldn't mind you in my room," you sigh. Open mouth; insert foot.
He raises an eyebrow, giving you a chance to backtrack, but you're both well aware you meant every word of that.
"Okay, y/n. See you Saturday then. Call me."
"I’ll call you," you repeat, resisting the urge to slap your palm over your face. You sound like an idiot. Stupid brain strikes again.
Jimin barely notices, all too used to girls falling over themselves to get his attention. You’re no different to him, just another pretty face in a sea of women entranced by the way he walks, talks, and breathes. It’s not his fault he’s so damn pretty. He does note that you’re brave, however. Not many people come on to him so brazenly, and that’s something worth rewarding. Besides, he feels a sort of obligation to help you out. He is getting paid to help out the professor, after all.
He winks at you as he leaves, taking your breath and your sanity with him. You have Park Jimin’s phone number. Park Jimin is going to be in your apartment in two days. Maybe you didn’t bomb that as hard as you thought.
A slow clap beckons you to look back for the source and you find Taehyung looking back at you with his boxy grin. When he’s sure he’s got your attention he raises his two thumbs up in approval.
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Jimin is not surprised when Chungha disappears into the clusterfuck of bodies as soon as they step into the party. They may have come here together, but their fling is on its last leg and they both know it. She wants him off her couch, doesn't appreciate the feeling of tied-down-ness that comes with your friend with benefits staying over all the time. She's ready to move on, that means he has to as well.
Jimin isn't even sure whose house this is, but he’s happy to tag along for free booze and maybe a new face to go home with. Luckily, his friends are never far, and he finds them easily. Getting absolutely hammered in the backyard makes them hard to miss. Jungkook is the only one looking particularly bored as a very drunk Taehyung hangs all over him talking about the sweetest thing he ever tasted.
"Why so glum?" Jimin asks, nudging Jungkook's shoulder with his own.
"I'm the designated driver tonight," Jungkook sighs, pushing Taehyung off of him.
Taehyung slumps to the ground, immediately entranced by the stars above him. Jungkook kicks at him gently.
"Where's your girlfriend? I haven't seen you without your tongue down her throat all week," Jungkook wonders, looking behind Jimin for the woman in question.
"Girlfriend," Jimin repeats with a snort. "Hilarious. That's not a thing. She's probably looking for her next kill."
Jungkook regards Jimin thoughtfully, his eyebrows scrunching toward each other. "If you take over DD you can have the futon."
Jungkook loves his futon. It's one of his most prized possessions. He keeps it very clean and being allowed to get anywhere near it is a privilege. Jimin is pretty sure he goes over it with a lint roller as part of his nighttime routine. It's also incredibly comfortable.
Jimin releases a breath in a tortured groan as he thinks over his options. He could get black out drunk and wake up god knows where with a terrible hangover, or he could hang out and watch his friends get black out drunk and then wake up on a futon that feels more like a cloud than a mattress, a little slice of heaven in Jungkook and Taehyung's little apartment.
"Okay," Jimin relents. "Give me the keys. I’ll stick to water for the rest of the night."
"Ah, I love you man," Jungkook praises, tossing his keys in Jimin's general direction before grabbing the newly opened can of beer out of Taehyung's hand below him. Taehyung, still staring up at the sky with a glazed smile, doesn't react. It takes Jungkook all of five seconds to pour the contents of the can straight down his throat. He follows this by smashing the can in a bicep curl with a giggle and a bashful smile.
"Do it again," an unfamiliar girly voice pleads from across the table. She tosses him another can and he repeats the action, turning away when he's finished so that he doesn't have to see her reaction. Jimin knows what's going to happen once his friend gets a few more beers in him. Jungkook is going to go apeshit. There will be no trace of this shy hunk of muscle who blushes and coils away from pretty girls. He'll be chest thumping shirtless and picking up everyone who gets close enough to touch. Half of them will probably end up thrown in the pool, if history is anything to go by, and he'll most likely have the hottest girl at the party slobbering all over him in the backseat when Jimin drives him home tonight.
Jimin's suspicions prove true an hour later when Jungkook throws Tae in the pool. Jimin runs to the edge of it in a panic. Tae was very drunk so he needs to make sure he's not just sinking like a stone. That was his first mistake, although he'd make it again to keep Taehyung safe. His second mistake was wearing these ridiculously tight ass jeans.
Any other pair and he might have been able to pry his cell phone from his pocket the second he felt JK's hands on his back. Had he worn any other pair of pants he might have been able to throw it to safety in the grass before he hit the surface of the pool. As it stands, his skin tight jeans are soaked through, Tae is slightly more sober than he was when Jimin arrived and is swimming just fine, and Jimin's phone is totally destroyed.
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You should be sleeping. It's three in the morning. You should definitely not be awake right now. Lifting your phone up for the three hundredth time tonight, you're not surprised to have no new notifications. That text you sent to Jimin hours ago has gone unanswered.
You typed and erased it at least ten times, agonized over what to say, and how to say it. By the time you pressed send, the message was nothing like how it began and you noticed a second too late that you didn't even tell him who you were. Adding a second text saying 'it's y/n btw' seemed so desperate. You've been waiting for him to ask who you are for so long that you've convinced yourself he already knows and he's avoiding you on purpose. Who else would have said "i'm excited to see you tomorrow" in a text about meeting up to study? He knows it's you. He has to. The alternative possibility that he plans to see other people tomorrow too is too bothersome to accept. You really need to let this go and try to sleep.
Keys in the door stop you from dragging yourself off the couch. Your roommate will see you and accuse you of trying to run away from him to avoid something. He’s right, of course. You’ve attempted to flee from your problems in the past, against his advice. Now you know better than to try. It's much better to face things with Yoongi head on. At the very least, maybe he's got something helpful to say.
"Why're you up? You look sad." His words slur just the tiniest bit and he leans against the wall for stability as he takes off his shoes just inside the door. You see right through his attempts at nonchalance. He's tipsy.
"A boy I like isn't texting me back," you admit with a scowl. "You didn't drive, did you?"
"No, friend dropped me off. Is it Taehyung?" Yoongi asks, not pausing for an answer. "I wouldn't worry too much. He talked about you a lot tonight. He was really drunk though. You should go to bed. He'll probably text you in the morning."
You don't bother to correct Yoongi. Admitting you're harboring a huge fucking crush on the campus it-boy is the most foolish thing you could possibly do. It's embarrassing and naive and Yoongi would pity you for falling for someone so far out of your league. Maybe you should just date Taehyung and forget about Jimin. He sure seems to have forgotten about you.
When the morning comes and your only notifications are an email from Target and a text from your mom, you muster up every bit of courage you could possibly find in your body and call him. You’d rather know if he’s deliberately ignoring you now than agonize over other possibilities all day.
It doesn't even ring. His phone goes straight to voicemail. You try again, and a third time. Voicemail, voicemail. Could it be you rushed putting his number in and did it incorrectly? You dig through your backpack for the slip of paper he gave you to double check, and sure enough, it’s his number. He's ignoring you. He turned off his phone to solidify that fact in your brain.
Last night, laying awake waiting for his name to light up your phone, you felt pretty damn bad. In the daylight, with rest and a clear head, you're absolutely crushed. He was supposed to come over. You had plans. It was stupid of you to think you could earn space in his mind or time in his schedule. He played you, and it hurts.
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Studying on your own proves more difficult than you imagined. With only Tae's notes to go by, you feel like you're quizzing yourself on things you already know. Turning to the textbook doesn't give you the specialized knowledge you need for the exam. You could never hope to memorize enough of it that you'd retain something pertinent.
On top of that, your heart hurts. You were so close to spending time together you could practically smell the subtle scent of his cologne. He pulled the rug right out from under you so fast, your ass is sore from falling on it so hard.
Sunday and Monday pass miserably in their slowness as you continue to nurse your tender rejected heart. You spend two days mulling over how you're going to face Jimin on Tuesday, let alone how you’re going to pass this exam when you're so disgustingly focused on figuring out why he stood you up and ignored you all weekend.
Tuesday comes too soon and you find yourself lingering outside the lecture hall for way longer than any sane person should.
That's what bothers you the most about this whole thing with Jimin. He's stolen your sense. How on earth did you let a stupid crush, on a boy you hardly know, get between you and your grades? You tell yourself no more as you suck in a deep breath and steel yourself to march right through the door. You're not going to let Park Jimin and his cruelty stand between you and your credits.
With your resolve solid and your head held high, you push yourself forward. You don't even spare a glance in his general direction as you pass, although it would be a lie to say you didn't clock him in your peripheral. Tae sits down next to you a moment later and you thank your lucky stars you have a friend here to make you look busy.
"Ready to make this exam your bitch?" he asks, making finger guns at you and clicking his tongue.
"That remains to be seen," you say, turning toward him in your seat so that Jimin is behind you. "I couldn't get anything done this weekend," you confess. "I thought I was more prepared than I am so it really just depends on what's on the exam."
"Aw fuck, you could have called me," he says, passing you his note cards. "We could have studied together."
"Oh, Tae," you sigh, pushing his hand back and refusing his offer of notes. "You should use this time for yourself. It wouldn't be fair of me to take it from you."
"We've got ten minutes." He points to the clock at the front of the lecture hall. "Quiz me. It will help us both."
Ten minutes fly by as you do your absolute best to retain any of the information in Taehyung's carefully written cards. You take one last glance at it before someone slips it from your hand and replaces it with a test. You know it's Jimin.
Only when you look up and level him with a glare does it seem to register on his face that you're angry. Realization dawns on him as you snatch the test and lean over it on your desk.
"Y/n, I'm so sorry," he quietly whispers, but he's moving on already. The exam is about to begin. He doesn't have time to explain himself right now. He knows what it looks like. He led you on and stood you up without so much as a text message. He should have asked Tae to tell you what happened, but the truth is that he forgot about you entirely and he knows that is the cruelest thing he could possibly confess.
Nearly an hour later you set your pencil down and run your fingers through your hair. Did any of those answers make sense? Your only possible saving grace is bullshitting your way through the open responses. Maybe you’ll earn some partial credit at the very least.
You swallow the petty words threatening to spill from your tongue as you gather your things and approach Jimin’s desk with your test in hand. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t notice the anxious glances he threw your way. You swore every time you looked up he was looking at you, so you’d squint like you were checking the time, like you had somewhere more important to be than taking an exam for a core requirement course.
As you slap the packet of your evident failure down on his desk, you don your best apathetic expression. You look down at him and allow a sliver of eye contact, just enough to send the message that you don’t care anymore. You try to look bored. He doesn’t deserve to see how he’s hurt you or angered you. He’s nothing to you. You’re nothing to him, but you’re not beneath him. He’s beneath you. You don’t just look at him; you look through him.
He blinks a few times and a chill runs down his spine. He opens his mouth to speak, but the words won’t form.
“Don’t bother. I don’t care,” you whisper with a roll of your eyes.
You make sure to straighten your shoulders and keep your chin up as you turn on your heel and leave. You bombed that exam and you know it, thanks to your stupid feelings, but at the very least you achieved the victory of shaking Park Jimin to his core. So why do you feel like you’re about to sob in the bathroom down the hall?
Oh. Because you are. You spend at least five minutes composing yourself and washing your face before your phone buzzes with a much needed distraction.
[NEW MESSAGE] Tae: hungry?
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Jimin’s leg bounces uncontrollably under his desk while he waits for the remaining students to finish their exams so he can go after you. He wracks his brain for ways to clear the nervous tension dwelling within but it’s no use. Confrontation makes him so uncomfortable. Still, he can’t have you thinking he’s a total douche. He should text you. Fuck, he should call you. And he would, if he had a working phone. The second the last student drops their exam on his desk he’s going to find you and apologize.
He knows his reputation precedes him. He knows exactly what this looks like. You probably think he blew you off to get some or just led you on entirely, but he really did mean to meet up with you. He needs to clear the air. Maybe he’s a little loose with his morals at times, but he’s never an asshole on purpose. He prides himself on being a beacon of positivity and an example on how to make people feel good even if it’s only to make them feel good. He barely knows you, but it bothers him to think that you’re out there thinking he’s a heartless jerk and that he hurt your feelings on purpose.
It’s a big campus and Jimin spends the better half of an hour searching it before he finds you in the cafeteria with Taehyung. You look awfully close, and he almost feels bad interrupting you, but he owes you an explanation. It’s a mystery to him why on earth you would seek out his company when Taehyung seems all too willing to be what you need.
Taehyung notices him before you do. He shakes his head at Jimin disapprovingly. “Cold, man. So cold.”
Jimin nods, hanging his head. He’s well aware. You haven’t turned around yet and don’t intend to. If Jimin can ignore you then you can ignore him too. Besides, if you turn to face him, he might notice your watery, puffy eyes. How incredibly foolish that would be to admit that you’ve been crying about being stood up by someone you’ve barely even spoken to.
“Y/n?” Jimin’s soft voice calls to you, melodic and soothing as ever. “Can I have a minute?”
Taehyung looks between the two of you while he moves a french fry into his mouth at a snail’s pace and slowly chews as if this is free entertainment.
“No,” you answer.
“I’m sorry about Saturday,” he tells you, progressing despite your refusal to listen. He plants his hands on the table beside you and leans in to try to steal a glance at your profile, but you turn your head away.
“Jungkook pushed me in the pool right after this asshole,” he says, pointing at Taehyung. “My phone was in my pocket. It’s ruined.”
“Hey,” Taehyung interrupts, his mouth open in protest and full of half-chewed fries. “Don’t pin this on me. You could have asked any one of us to let her know what happened. You never even mentioned it. Why don’t you just admit that you forgot?” Taehyung suggests, jamming another french fry into his little paper cup of ketchup before cramming it into his mouth.
Jimin fumes for a moment, glaring at Tae before he pulls out the chair next to you and spins it around. He straddles it and rests his chin on the backrest. “Y/n, I’m sorry. I forgot. I swear I never would have done something like that to you on purpose. My phone getting ruined messed up a lot of things, but if you give me another chance, I’d love to prove that I’m not the horrible person you think I am.”
Silence. You glance over at Taehyung, willing him to speak up and either back Jimin up or get you out of this. You’re ready to forgive Jimin already and leave with him right now and it’s not lost on you how bad that looks. It’s so easy for Jimin to have you wrapped around his fingers. You wish he was ugly. You wish you never signed up for this stupid class. You wish you could feel for Tae the way you feel for Jimin so that you could just leave with him instead. You’re about ready to anyway when he finally opens his mouth again.
“I think you should take her out to eat. Eating out is the perfect way to apologize, don’t you think?” Tae’s grin is so wide it makes his eyes crinkle.
You huff out a humorless laugh. If that’s what you wanted you’d stick with the original plan and be in the backseat of Taehyung’s car again in the next twenty minutes. Against your better judgement, you turn to look at Jimin, puffy eyes and runny nose no longer hidden. He’s a little taken back by your expression. He smiles at you softly and reaches out to brush his knuckles against your cheek. You practically melt into his touch.
“Mmm, I would like something sweet.” Jimin licks his lips. “How about ice cream?”
“When?” you ask, embarrassed by the way your voice cracks and by how easily you’re giving in.
“Now?”
“Well, look at the time,” Tae says, standing with his tray and messenger bag. “I’ve got to go wash my hair but you two have fun on your date. Use protection!” he calls behind him on his way toward the exit.
You’d be irritated by his blunt suggestion if his statement didn’t swirl a storm of butterflies deep in your gut. You’re so distracted by them that you don’t realize that you’re still gaping at Jimin in disbelief.
“So?” Jimin wonders, holding out his hand.
“I don’t forgive you,” you insist while taking it into yours. Although it’s probably a lie, he doesn’t call you on it. He simply smiles and gives your hand a tiny comforting squeeze.
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“My car is on the other side of campus,” you tell him once you’ve stepped outside. “Where are you parked?”
“Oh, um,” he stalls. “I thought it might be nice to walk, give us more time to talk. Is that okay?”
“Isn’t it kind of far?” you ask, assuming he's taking you to that chain ice cream shoppe a few miles off campus.
"No, this place is close. It's a secret. Not many people know about it," he says with a wink.
"You say that to everyone don't you?" You narrow your eyes at him, moving out of reach when he tries to put his arm around you.
"No," he laughs. "I've been here with other people, though. I was here with Jin last week." He smiles, leading the way toward a small alley between buildings.
You follow him easily, questioning again why you have so little self preservation when it comes to him. At the other end of the alley you can see what looks like a park. Green trees line the sidewalk up ahead, creating a canopy against the brilliant sun. The walk to this mysterious ice cream place is shaded and chilly. Jimin slips his jacket off and slings it over your shoulders when he notices you rubbing at your arms.
"Almost there," he promises. In the distance, framed by two towering oaks, is a tiny little ice cream place. It looks like a mirage, something out of a board game or a fairy tale. The closer you get, the more real it becomes. The siding is faded, the roof looks like it's in dire need of repairs, and the hand-painted sign reading The Cheery Cherry has seen better days. It's clean though, sparkling in all the places that matter.
There is a stout old man behind the window with a shining silver ice cream scoop ready and waiting in his hand. Jimin greets him by name and asks for a simple vanilla cone. You're tempted to judge him, he doesn't strike you as the vanilla type, but there must be a reason. Maybe this is the best vanilla ice cream on earth. You order the same just in case, taking your first taste as Jimin pulls a few bills from his wallet and hands them over with a shaky hand.
To your dismay the ice cream is not extraordinary; it's just plain vanilla. You could probably get the same exact type from any grocery store. You should have gone with something else. You should have at least gotten the cheery cherry cone. That might have been a flavor worth tasting. Why was he so bent on coming here for such a bland ice cream?
You suppose you should be thankful for the gesture but you still feel uneasy, like he’s playing you somehow. It almost feels like he’s doing it out of obligation rather than desire. Is he doing the bare minimum because he doesn’t feel like you’re worth more than this? Your company must be the equivalent to a plain vanilla cone. Mediocre. Unremarkable. Ordinary.
Forgettable.
Jimin turns back to you with his ice cream in one hand and change filling the other. "Is it good?"
"It's vanilla." You shrug.
"Do you want something different?" he asks, counting the money in his hand.
"No, I like vanilla."
"Figures," he teases.
"What's that supposed to mean?" you snap back at him.
"Nothing, sweetheart. I just think you're soft, sweet. Vanilla suits you."
"I am not vanilla. I do all kinds of freaky shit," you argue, realizing too late that you've over shared in your annoyance.
Jimin looks you over with a smirk, bringing his ice cream to his lips and dragging his tongue around the edge of the cone where it's dripping. "Noted," he says.
"I didn't mean-- I wasn't -- UGH," you huff, embarrassed that he's still making a fool of you from the doghouse. You need to change the subject fast. "What'syourmajor?" You rush the question past your lips and he laughs at your flustered state, waiting for you to slow down and ask him in words he can understand.
"Your major?" you repeat, slower this time.
"Oh, uh. Urban studies."
"Interesting."
"You don't know what that means, huh?" He nudges you with his elbow, falling in stride beside you. Unfortunately, you had just brought your ice cream up to your mouth and his nudging caused you to smear it across your cheek.
You look at him angrily. First he stood you up, forgot about you, then he had the nerve to show up to class today looking like a fucking angel, takes you for ice cream to make it up to you, and now he's teasing you and making you look every bit the fool you feel like you are. Tears well in your eyes when he laughs at the mess he caused.
"I'm sorry," he says through his giggling. He reaches out to gently wipe your cheek with his thumb which he promptly pops in his mouth and sucks clean after. "What's wrong?"
You swipe at your eyes, ridding them of the tears that were about to spill out as your shame bubbles over. "You make me feel stupid," you confess. "You're wasting my time."
Shoving his jacket back at him, you take off in the direction you came, throwing your stupid vanilla cone in the closest trash can and kicking yourself for not leaving with Taehyung instead. Jimin winces at the action, looking like you’ve discarded a precious keepsake rather than a plain, boring vanilla cone.
"Y/n, wait!" he calls, catching up to you with ease. He takes you by the wrist and spins you back to face him. "I don't think you're stupid at all. I’m sorry I’m so bad at this.” He sighs, softening his hold on you. “I didn’t know what to think about you when you approached me at first, you know? Girls throw themselves at me all the time.”
You grimace at his words and roll your eyes, snatching your wrist back with a scowl. Of course he thinks you were throwing yourself at him, but you’re sure that you weren’t. You were just being direct about your feelings. Do you really come across as such a desperate person? Maybe you should ask Yoongi for his opinion later.
“But I definitely didn’t mean to stand you up and I don’t mean to make you feel stupid at all. I think you're pretty smart, you’re cute and you’re actually bolder than I initially thought. I'd love to get to know you better. I know I'm not doing so great so far, but I can be better. Please, sit with me?" he asks, walking to a nearby park bench.
Reluctantly, you follow, although you make a point to drag your feet the whole way there. When you sit down beside him, he loops an arm around your waist and draws you closer, offering his ice cream up to you once your legs brush against his. You reach for it but he pulls it away.
"Hey," he jokes. "Just lick it. I didn't make you throw yours away."
You shake your head and lean forward to drag your tongue over what's left of his vanilla cone.
"Forgive me?" he asks. His toothy smile catches the sunlight and it genuinely hurts your eyes to keep looking.
"Okay. One more chance," you agree. "So, urban studies?"
He relaxes back against the bench, taking another lick before he offers the cone to you again. "Yeah, it's like community development and stuff. What about you, princess? What are you studying?"
You flush at the nickname, heat rising in your face and other places you'd rather not acknowledge. You're oblivious to the fact that you're having a similar effect on Jimin. The way you're licking his ice cream is making his pants feel a little tight.
"Teaching," you tell him, picking at the peeling paint on the bench.
"Little kids?"
"Yeah." You take another lick of his ice cream while he holds it, looking up halfway through.
Jimin's expression is unreadable, stunned almost. He shifts a little, crosses his legs, clears his throat.
"Kids are fun. I have a younger brother," he tells you.
"A lot younger?"
"No," he laughs. "But he's a total baby so it's basically the same.”
“Oh, does he get that from you?” you tease with a giggle.
His mouth drops open in surprise. “Hey,” he pouts. “That’s not nice.”
“I never said I was nice,” you tell him, taking another slow lick of his ice cream.
“Clearly,” he scoffs with a roll of his eyes. He drags his lip through his teeth to try to hide the smile curling at the corners of his mouth.
You manage to cram so much conversation into the next twenty minutes on this park bench, learning more about the mysterious campus celebrity than you ever thought you’d know. You hope his interest wasn't feigned, because it felt so fucking good to have his attention, to have him really listen to you and ask you about your life and your family and your hopes for the future. If you're not mistaken, you might think this was real progress.
Jimin watches you walk back toward campus with a soft smile and an unfamiliar feeling brewing inside him. You've surprised him. You're not the naive infatuated little girl he took you for. If he had a phone he'd be texting you already. He'd call you tonight, and maybe tomorrow. It's alarming to him how badly he wants another ten minutes with you. He hates that you declined his offer to walk you to your next class, but damn does he ever appreciate the view.
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Thursday comes quickly. After your initial ice cream date, Jimin has found himself curiously seeking your attention rather than the other way around. With his phone out of commission he was hanging around the cafeteria all day yesterday in hopes of catching you. While it’s clear you don’t trust him and you haven’t forgiven him, you seem to have softened up a bit. You spent your meals together and allowed him to walk you to your classes, all while exchanging playful jabs at each other. You might forgive him for bailing if yesterday stood alone. Today is a whole different story.
Now Jimin is staring down a stack of graded exams the professor has dropped on the table at the front of the room. Students haven’t begun to trickle in yet so when the professor takes the opportunity to excuse himself, Jimin wastes no time in flipping through the pile to get a sense of the overall success of the class. When he gets to a test marked in thick red marker with an ‘F’ his stomach drops. He knows it’s yours before he even reads the name. He was hoping maybe you’d been lying about not paying attention.
He shuffles the exam back into place and straightens the pile just as the earliest student walks in. Jimin offers her a wan smile and a tiny bow of his head as a greeting. Although his stomach is still sinking and churning, he’s already thinking about ways he might be able to make it up to you.
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Jimin finds you in the cafeteria with Taehyung again, where he has you distracted from your misery by folding and unfolding a cootie catcher in front of your face like you're in third grade and not your third year of college.
"Pick a color now, y/n," Tae urges, opening and closing the folded paper four times after you've indicated the triangle marked 'pink.' "Hmm," he ponders. "It says you need to relax."
"What is this, a fortune cookie? I thought these things were like truth or dare, or like... who I was gonna marry," you complain, flicking the craft from his hands.
Jimin picks the paper up off the floor and hands it back to Taehyung. "Do me," he says.
After a moment of pointing and folding, Tae announces, "It says you need to apologize. Again."
Jimin looks at you while Tae packs up his stuff. After dropping a kiss on the top of your head he leaves for his next class. The action makes Jimin furrow his brows and frown. A feeling too uncomfortably close to jealousy blooms in his chest. Why did that bother him so much? He's not ready to acknowledge the answer to that. Instead, he contradicts it by reminding himself that Tae is one of his closest friends and it's cool that the two of you are getting close too.
"Princess?" Jimin's song-like voice drifts to your ears once Tae has disappeared. You've pressed your face into your folded arms on the table and it's taking everything you have not to start crying about your failed exam again. "I'm so sorry," he whispers, laying his hand against the small of your back and beginning to rub soft circles there. "I'm sorry I didn't help you."
"I wish you were ugly," you mumble into your arms.
"What?" he laughs, leaning his face down next to yours.
You lift your head to meet his eyes. "If you were ugly this never would have happened," you insist, sitting up and shaking his hand off your back with a twist of your spine. "Just be ugly! FUCK."
Jimin smiles before screwing his face up into the most unrecognizable grimace he can manage. He holds it until you start to smile then switches to another terrible expression, with his chin tucked into his neck so that it morphs into several chins and crosses his eyes for extra emphasis on its ridiculousness. When you start to laugh he sticks out his tongue to make it worse.
Once you’re clutching your stomach and doubled over with pealing laughter, he gives you the beautiful smile you're so used to again. "Let's do something fun together," he offers. "And then after that, we'll get studying and make this right. Please let me make it up to you."
"Okay," you agree, leaning into his open arms. It only took a couple days of spending time together to remove the awkwardness you felt when he touched you. He's even held your hand a few times while you walked together after your other classes. Now, his embrace feels welcome and comforting. You still can’t tell if he’s just trying to be nice or if he actually likes doing it but you don’t mind at all.
"There's a party on Saturday, will you come with me?"
"Where?" you ask, as if you have any hope of refusing him at all. You'd go anywhere with him and you know it but you want to try to play it cool. Your tone seems more tepid than you anticipate but he doesn’t seem to call you out on it.
"Jin's," he tells you, reaching for your hand and lacing your fingers together.
He rubs his thumb against the back of your hand while he waits for you to pretend to decide. You relish in the motion. The tingle of butterflies erupt in your belly again like a cannon aimed at your heart, ready to sink it in an instant. Instead of falling, your heart seems to fly up to your brain and a light giggle escapes your lips.
"Okay. I'll come," you say in a euphoric brain fog, looking down at your joined hands. It's scary how good it feels to have his attention like this, but you hope it doesn’t stop.
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"Why are you home?" Yoongi asks, finding you on the couch when he emerges from his bedroom. His late afternoon nap went longer than expected, leaving you believing he was out for the night. You settled in with Netflix and snacks of your own. He flops down next to you, causing you to swing your feet off the couch before they get squashed beneath his butt. He yawns and lets his head dip forward as he pulls out his phone and begins flipping through it.
"It's Friday night,” he reminds you, his tone scratchy. It makes you giggle.
"I didn't wanna go out alone and I thought you were gone. You're gonna be up all night now, you know."
"I would have stayed asleep but I've got a friend in need," he mumbles, rubbing the remainder of sleep from his eyes.
"Aww, you're so good to me." You beam, snuggling up to him and wrapping him up in a tight hug.
"Not you," he huffs with a disgusted grimace. “Ugh, that’s enough touching.”
You immediately pull back and scoff. “Wow. You’re lucky I know you know you love me.”
He rolls his eyes. "That’s debatable.”
“Yeah, okay,” you mock him in a tone of disbelief. You pop a chip into your mouth. “So why are you really up— if not to support your wonderful, beautiful, perfectly sculpted local couch potato?”
He smiles and steals the next chip from your hand before you can shove it into your mouth. “If you're good with it, my friend is gonna crash on our couch for a few days. His parents cut him off and he’s got nowhere to go. He’s almost got enough saved up to get his own place, but he could use some help in the meantime. Figured we’re doing alright and we have a couch. You cool with that?"
"Sure," you agree, trusting Yoongi's judgment. He's not gonna let some crazy person stay on your couch. "When?"
"I was just waiting for your approval but I hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to you before I passed out. I'll go pick him up now, if that's good with you," he says slipping his feet into a pair of sandals and looking for his keys.
"What, he doesn't have a car?"
"Sold it to pay for his books this semester. He's got nothing. He's keeping all his clothes in another friend's closet. It's kinda sad."
"That's rough," you agree, blowing out a heavy exhale and turning your attention back to the TV.
"I'll be back in a few. Maybe take it to your room so he can have the couch?" Yoongi suggests.
"Sure, sure," you say, already sucked back into your show and forgetting entirely about Yoongi and his friend for now.
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When Yoongi returns an hour later, you haven't moved. In fact, you’ve crashed… hard. Yoongi and his mystery guest enter to a chorus of your snores and the Friends theme song.
“Hey, get up,” Yoongi urges, nudging your shoulder lightly.
When you peel your eyes open to look at him, you’re utterly mystified to see the object of your affections a few feet behind him, standing awkwardly in your kitchen with a duffle slung over his shoulder.
Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you blink a few times to clear your vision. You want to be sure it's him before you open your mouth. He's there, in black sweats with a grey hoodie pulled up over his white baseball cap. “Jimin?”
“Oh good you know him," Yoongi says with relief coating his tone. "I’m gonna get him some blankets. Think you can take your Netflix marathon to your room?”
"Yeah, I can do that," you mumble, gathering up your mess and disappearing into your room without another word.
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Alone in your room, you conjure up a hundred reasons in your anxious mind that could explain why Jimin thought he had to keep this huge secret from you. He’s got nothing? Maybe he was afraid you'd tell people. Suddenly, it makes so much sense why he's always walking everywhere.
You think back to Tuesday at the Cheery Cherry. His usually steady hands were so shaky handing over those bills he pulled from his wallet. You think of how tightly he clutched his change and even counted it out afterward. If you hadn’t been so preoccupied with your own thoughts of inadequacy, you might have been able to put it together on your own. Your stomach drops when you recall the insulting way you threw your vanilla cone in the trash. The scene replays over and over again until you’re crying into your pillow.
Guilt keeps you awake until well past midnight as you turn these unsavory ideas over and over in your head, looking at them from every possible angle and over analyzing every detail of the time you've spent together thus far. Your eyes are now wide and dry, fixed on a black spot on your ceiling that you're hoping is just a speck and not a spider. The quilt in your hands is frayed, giving your nervous hands something to pick at while you let the silence drive you mad.
The soft knock on your door at half past one is a relief. Yoongi does his best cooking at odd hours, usually bringing you a plate if you're awake. It's a surprise to find Jimin outside your door instead. He awkwardly shifts from foot to foot until he finds your eyes in the dim glow of your table lamp.
"Did I wake you?" he whispers, head leaning against your door frame.
You shake your head, looking down at your skimpy sleep shorts and the university hoodie you pulled on to open the door. “I was up.”
“Can we talk?”
“Of course,” you answer, stepping aside so he can come in. Your eyes scan the room nervously, checking for underwear on the floor and counting the half empty glasses of water on your nightstand. If you knew Jimin was going to be in your bedroom tonight, you would have cleaned up. At least you didn’t leave your vibrator out in the open. You don’t think you’d recover from the embarrassment of that.
Jimin follows you to your bed, perching on the edge once you’ve settled back against your pillows.
“I feel like I owe you an explanation.”
“You don’t,” you respond immediately. “I’m happy you’re here.”
“Then why did you run away?” he asks, pulling at his hoodie strings.
“I wanted to give you space. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. You didn’t tell me what you were going through and I didn’t want to…” you trail off, unsure how to articulate just why you ran away.
“You didn’t want to embarrass me? Hurt my pride?” he asks, sarcasm evident.
“I’m sorry,” you tell him. “You don’t owe me an explanation. We aren’t that close.”
“That’s the problem,” he whispers. “I want to explain. I want to be that close to you.” He leans towards you, resting on his hands. He looks confident despite his current situation and it worries you a little. How can he be so sure of himself when he’s crashing on your couch and apologizing to you again for the fourth time in less than a week?
The Jimin you’ve gotten to know recently seems to disappear, leaving on the smooth talking playboy in his wake. He seems too calculated to be genuine. The words he whispers don’t seem like words meant for you. He is him, after all, and money or not he’s still the greatest catch on campus. And you, much to your dismay, are still just you. Unassuming, uninteresting, unexciting you. You’re the plain vanilla cone he’d never ask for if he had the means to get the banana split.
“Why?” you skeptically ask, pulling your knees up to your chest.
Jimin bites his bottom lip, worrying it between his teeth while he thinks. “You’re special,” he says. “You’re cute and funny and I like spending time with you. You make me feel like I can be myself with you.”
“But you don’t trust me?” you ask, obviously referring to the elephant in the room. He didn’t tell you he was essentially homeless. How much of himself can he truly be if he was keeping that from you?
“I didn’t want to scare you away, and most girls I… see, don’t get close enough to find out,” he confesses. “I can’t afford to take anyone out right now. I haven’t been able to for a while. But I’m so close to getting enough for an apartment. That’s why I took the TA job; at the end of the semester I should be ready.”
“Jimin,” you start, unsure what to say. You’re still thinking about that goddamned three dollar ice cream cone you threw away.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he tells you, standing up. “I just wanted to be real with you, and thank you for agreeing to let me have the couch for a few days. I’ll let you sleep.”
“Wait!”
As you scramble over yourself to reach out, you find yourself on your knees awkwardly clutching your hand towards your chest. You’re still worried about seeming desperate but you can’t let that stop you now. Jimin turns toward you, but you’re unsure of what you wanted to say. You only know that you want to be closer to him too, that you’re not ready for him to go, that if he leaves now you’ll lie awake for the rest of the night reliving this short conversation.
“Stay,” you plead, nervously twirling the string of your hoodie around your fingers as you sit back against the pillows. “Talk to me?”
“Aren’t you tired?” he wonders.
You hold out your hand and he crosses the room to take it, standing next to your bed. You pat the space next to you and tug him toward it. “Wide awake.”
Your yawn says otherwise.
Jimin smiles, climbing over you to lay by your side on top of your blankets. He looks at you expectantly once he’s settled but it’s too much pressure for you to lead the conversation. You only know that you want to keep hearing his soothing voice. You have no idea what you wanted to say.
“You look cute,” he says, breaking the silence and touching your nose with the tip of his finger. “Sleepy and soft.”
“You look sexy,” you complain, waving his hand away. “I kinda wanna punch you for it.”
He throws his head back in laughter. “So feisty.”
“I can be boring instead,” you jokingly offer, rolling on your side to face him.
He does his best to keep his eyes trained on your face, despite the fact that all he wants to do is let them wander down. “I just want you to be you.”
That sounds fake. Again, you battle against the idea that this is all a farce, some sneaky way to get into your pants once and leave you wanting for the rest of your life. He hasn’t bared himself to you enough for you to trust him, so you pry.
“Why’d your parents cut you off, Jimin?” you ask.
He looks at you for a second, stunned at your boldness. That’s definitely not where he thought this conversation was going. He takes a moment to prepare his response and sighs.
“They have this restaurant. It’s a small place right off the coast: Jeongsik. My great grandparents started it from nothing and now my parents manage it. They want me to take over since I’m the eldest, but I want to move to the city and have my own life. I don’t want to work in their restaurant forever and my brother loves it and is perfectly capable. They love me. I know they’re just trying to teach me a lesson,” he tells you. He sounds unsure of that last bit. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that he’s got nowhere to live and he’s penny pinching for meals and they’re shunning him.
“And what is that lesson, Jimin?” you ask, trying to dig deeper before he slips back into playboy mode.
“That being a part of Jeongsik is my only option if I want to be successful. That I can’t make it without them.”
“Can you?” The question is quiet and unassuming. You only want to know how bad it really is.
He takes a deep breath and taps his fingers anxiously against the fabric of the pillow. “I can. It won’t be the same, it won’t be easy, but I can.”
After giving Jimin a moment to say more, which he doesn’t take, you push him further. With your heart on the line and this miracle of an opportunity with him in your room, you're determined to learn as much as you can. You need to get under his skin. You need to know him, so you can know if you should run.
"What's your plan then?" you question, shifting closer so you're face to face against the pillows.
Jimin smirks at your line of questioning. It seems to break him from his thoughts. “Well,” he begins. “The Village has some one bedrooms opening up at the end of the semester, and by then I’ll be ready to make a deposit and lease one. After that I’ve got one semester left until I graduate. Then I’ll move to the city and live my life how I want.”
“Won’t you miss your family?”
“They still talk to me. They’re just not paying for school. Or my car. Or my food.” His heavy sigh at the end contradicts the lightness with which he revealed all of this to you.
“I’m sorry, Jimin.” You reach for his hand, familiarity in the way it fits with yours.
“It’s okay. I have good friends, and I have…” he trails off, catching himself and looking away with an awkward huff of a laugh.
“What?” you wonder, heart fluttering at the possibility that he was about to say ‘you.’ “What else do you have?”
Jimin looks up at you, rising up on his elbow. His eyes search your face for any hint of rejection. When he finds only hope, his hand moves to cup your cheek. It’s warm, adorned with rings that contrast the temperature of his skin.
“You,” he breathes, moving closer. You watch his gaze dart down to your lips before your own eyelids flutter closed. “I was going to say you,” he confesses before he closes the space between you and lays a soft kiss against your waiting lips.
He pulls away way too fast, leaving you to panic in the aftermath. You thought you had feelings for him before, but now that he’s let you in, now that he has shown you his heart, there is nothing more to deny. You’ve fallen, hard. The realization makes you feel trapped, like a frantic dying bird in a cage. But your captor is kind and beautiful and the flavor he left on your lips is the most divine thing you’ve ever tasted.
“Then say it,” you prompt him, urging him to accept the affection you’ve been so desperate to give him.
He kisses you again in lieu of words, longer, deeper, until his tongue is dragging over yours. You fist the material of his hoodie in your hands, pulling him towards you while you turn on your back. He’s hesitant to get on top of you, afraid he might be taking it too far, but you’re insistent. You pull and he caves willingly, slotting a leg between yours and letting his hand drift from your cheek to the back of your neck.
“I like you,” he pants when he breaks away. It feels like your heart flies up out of your chest and does a lap around the room, flapping its hummingbird wings like the wild thing it is before it crashes back into its place.
“Don’t say things you don’t mean,” you plead. “You don’t have to pretend just because you’re here now. I’m a big girl. We can just have tonight.”
You say the words but you know if he leaves tomorrow, you’ll cry all day and probably the day after that too. The truth is, you can talk all you want about how you can do this no strings attached, but you know you can’t. Your strings are so attached to him at this point you might as well be metaphorical shibari.
“I mean it,” he whispers, full, wet lips brushing the side of your neck.
You freeze. You were expecting him to drop the charade and just fuck you or something, but in this moment he exudes tenderness and consideration.
“And because I like you, I think I should go back to the couch before we do something we aren’t ready to do.”
“Stay,” you plead. “We don’t have to do anything, just lay with me.”
He slowly nods and reaches over you to turn off the lamp, planting a soft kiss on your cheek as he settles back into place. You wiggle your form down into the covers and he smoothes the hair from your face before tracing his fingers down your arm. You lean in close enough to smell the subtle clean scent of his cologne. Is it cologne? You doubt it knowing what you know now, unless he’s borrowing it from someone else. You still find yourself enjoying it nonetheless. It’s comforting. Sleep begins to claim you just as he slips his fingers into yours and gives you a tiny squeeze.
“Goodnight y/n.”
You think you respond but you’re in that purgatory state between sleeping and being awake, so you can’t be sure. At least you’re eighty percent sure you gave him a squeeze in return.
That’s how Yoongi finds you in the morning: you tucked neatly into your comforter and Jimin laying on top of it beside you, your hands clasped together in the middle.
“UM!” Yoongi shouts from the doorway, loud enough to wake you both.
Startled, you sit up in bed and look around for the source of the shout. “Fuck! Yoon. You didn’t need to scream.”
“I hope you’re not expecting me to keep this from Taehyung,” Yoongi chides, looking from you to Jimin and back. “That would be quite the moral conundrum.”
“For fuck’s sake. It was never Tae. I am not seeing Tae. We are JUST FRIENDS!” You yell the last two words and chuck your pillow at him for emphasis.
“Okay cool, then Jimin can explain to him whatever this is to him. Jimin, he wants you to call him. My phone’s on the table. I’m taking a shower.”
Yoongi disappears from the doorway and an uncomfortable silence settles over the room. In the light of day, you feel nervous and uncertain. Jimin does nothing to ease your anxiety. He just lays there quietly, unsure what to say.
“Do you want breakfast?” You try to smile and sound as chipper as possible.
He sits up finally and turns his back to you. “I should go see Taehyung.”
He moves toward the door and you feel your chest tighten. “Jimin?”
He turns to you from the hallway, and taking in your confused expression, offers you a smile. “We’re good, princess. I’ll be back tonight, then me and you: party time.” He winks before moving out of sight.
Alone once again, you start to question things. Everything. Are you imagining things or did Jimin seem cold when he left? He kissed you last night, didn’t he? Was everything you talked about too much? Does he regret kissing you? Does he regret staying the night with you without getting anything out of it? You can feel your thoughts spiraling out of control, but you can’t stop yourself from putting up the walls you so desperately wanted to keep down forever last night. It obviously didn’t mean anything to him, despite his claim that he likes you. He probably just meant that he’d like to fool around with you. Like he does with everyone else. You can’t let one night beside him make you think you’re special to him, no matter how badly you want to be.
Knowing you won’t make it through the day without driving yourself completely mad with questions and doubts, you dig your old phone and charger out of a drawer and go after Jimin. He’s leaning over the kitchen counter staring down at Yoongi’s phone when you steal his attention.
“Please take this,” you plead, thrusting the phone and charger towards him.
He looks from the device to you and blinks a few times in surprise. “What?”
“It’s a little old, but if your sim card didn’t get damaged I’m sure it will work in this. I kept putting off bringing it to be recycled.” You laugh nervously as you try to place it in his hand. “But now I’m glad I didn’t. Take it.”
“I can’t accept this, princess. It’s too much,” Jimin says, staring down at the object in your hands.
“Take it for me. If I have to go another day without being able to send you memes I’ll die.”
“Memes?” he repeats, sounding baffled.
“Memes, nudes, the weather forecast. Who cares? I wanna text you. Please take it.”
He licks his lips and smirks at your joke. Was it a joke? It’s hard to tell. He accepts it anyway. “Thank you. I’ll call you later?”
“You’d better,” you tease, offering the grandest smile you can manage before retreating with a slow saunter back to your room.
There’s that view again. He could watch your ass sway in those teeny shorts all day. It takes every last ounce of self control he possesses to pick up Yoongi’s phone and dial Tae rather than sprint back into your room and pin you to the bed. It doesn’t stop him from daydreaming about it though, even as his friend answers.
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“What are we doing?” Jimin stands in the sprawling living room of Taehyung and Jungkook’s shared apartment. Both are from wealthy families that are all too ready to give their sons everything that matches the silver spoons in their mouths. They’ve been blessed with a bachelor pad that looks more like a college movie set than anything normal one would find around campus.
“Pick up a controller,” Tae tells Jimin, completely absorbed in the race on their oversized flat screen TV.
Jungkook hasn’t even acknowledged Jimin’s presence yet. Focused doesn’t even begin to describe the way his eyes bore into the television. He doesn’t break from his trance until he wins. Only then does he sit back with a smug grin, dropping the controller in his lap and just barely resisting the urge to gloat.
Taehyung drops his controller too, turning to give Jungkook a congratulatory fist bump. “Take his place,” he says to Jimin.
Jungkook has already vacated his place on the hallowed futon and moved to the row of cup noodles sitting on the counter. The first cup is half empty before Jimin even sits down.
“I suck at these games, Tae,” Jimin grumbles.
“That’s okay. You don’t have to be good. It’s a ploy to get you relaxed enough to talk about y/n.” Taehyung smiles, knowing Jimin can’t refuse now that he’s cornered.
“What about her?” He feigns nonchalance, as if he didn’t just spend last night catching feelings along with your lips between his own.
Taehyung scoffs, half bewildered, half disgusted. “Come on, Jimin. She’s amazing. You like her.”
“I barely know her,” Jimin replies. It’s a lie he can taste like copper on his tongue. He knows your favorite food, where you grew up, what you study, and he’s already programmed your birthday into his borrowed phone so he won’t forget.
Taehyung clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes. “Okay then. If you don’t give a fuck, I’m gonna shoot my shot. She’s funny, and nice, and her pussy is so bomb it makes me wanna get married, so if you’re not gonna do something about that then I will.”
Jungkook cackles from the kitchen. “Did you fuck Jimin’s girl?”
“She’s not my girl,” Jimin grumbles, staring daggers at Jungkook, just as Taehyung says that he did not.
Jungkook takes his armload of cup noodles into his bedroom.
“I know you like her,” Tae prods. “She’s not some materialistic bitch who’s gonna leave you if you can’t afford lavish dates every other day. She’s a good, genuine person. She just wants your time and your attention. Maybe your heart. She doesn’t care about the other stuff.”
“Yeah? So I can bring her back to this futon after I buy her dinner from the dollar menu?” Jimin’s nose starts to tingle, months worth of frustrations finally reaching a breaking point. “I can’t get in a relationship right now and you know she’s not a fuckbuddy kind of girl.
“Right, because I didn’t eat her out in my car for fun last week.” He’d date you in a heartbeat if you wanted him. But he knows it’s Jimin you want and he’s more than happy to push the two of you together to see you both happy. He values friendship above all things.
“If that’s all you want from her, fine. But I think you and I both know it’s not and she’s too good for you to string along. If you’re just gonna break her heart, do it now before she falls any harder for you.”
“Why, so you can swoop in and be the good guy again? So you can get her off in your backseat?” The words are venom dripping from his mouth.
“Bro.”
Jimin softens. Tae is his dearest friend. He knows he only has his best interests at heart.
“I’m sorry.” He pauses and sighs. “We talked about Jeongsik last night. She knows my parents cut me off.”
Taehyung grimaces. “How’d that go?”
“Now she knows I’m not good enough but it didn’t seem to deter her at all.”
“‘Cause you are good enough and now she can see your true worth as a person, which is a thousand times better than the fake worth of money.”
Jimin seems to consider this for a moment but then expresses the concern gnawing at his insides. “What if she really is just another person who wants to idolize me? I’m really into her, but I need it to be more than that.”
“Jimin—”
“What if she’s after the meaningless title of being Park Jimin’s girl... like every other girl that has pursued me lately?” The words make him cringe. He’s humble and kind, not one to throw bouquets at himself, but those thoughts are intrusive and hard to ignore.
“Tch. Do you know her at all? Do you really think that matters to her?”
“No,” Jimin sighs. “But what if?”
“She admires you. You like her. Stop making it so complicated and let go of those ifs. You’ll never know if you don’t try and I want to see you try because you deserve to be happy,” Tae insists, starting a new game. “Now pick up that controller. I wanna kick your ass.”
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You’ve spent the better part of your Saturday afternoon picking out your outfit for tonight. Yoongi only teased you twice before helping you select something a little bit more slutty than you’d normally pull out for a date. You’re going to a party after all, not some Sunday brunch with your friends.
When it’s almost time for you to meet up with Jimin you find yourself growing increasingly nervous. You run your hand over your thigh and down your calf, testing for any stubble you might have missed in your meticulous hour-long shaving session. On your way back up you tug on your skirt, eyeing it as though your gaze can simply increase its length. When was the last time you wore this dress?
You adjust and fuss over the way your tits fit inside the garment and puff air out of your cheeks. Yoongi squints at you from across the room. Your door is wide open after all.
“Stop worrying so much.” He sighs and clicks his tongue, crossing the room until he can see you in perfect clarity. “You look great.”
“I feel stupid. I should change. Jimin’s gonna think I’m weird if I wear this.” You try to turn and run back to your closet.
Yoongi plants his hands on your shoulders and spins you back to face the full-length mirror hanging over your door. “Look at yourself. Jimin’s gonna think you’re the hottest one at the party. Look at that makeup game.” He gestures to your face. “Wooo! So strong! Wow!”
Your lips twitch into a smile. Yoongi can be so sweet when he’s not busy pretending like he isn’t the softest man on earth.
“What if he doesn’t actually want me?” you ask, strings of doubt still plucking at your insecurity.
“He does,” he says with all the comfort you need in this moment. “I can tell with these kinds of things, you know.”
“That your like, weird sage sense you’re always telling me about? Reading the horoscopes doesn’t make you a fortune teller.”
He laughs. “Don’t be jealous of my power. Have I been wrong before?”
He hasn’t been, at least not with the advice he’s given you.
You exhale a huge breath and cock your head to inspect your appearance one more time. “What if you’re wrong?”
He hums a soft sound before planting a soft kiss to the top of your head. “Then he’s an idiot.”
A knock saves him from the overbearing hug you’re about to give him. He practically sprints towards the door. “That must be him! Pull your skirt up a little, would you? You’re not a nun and it’s gonna ride up anyway.” He pauses with his hand on the deadbolt and drops his tone to a rather loud, strained whisper. “Wait. What underwear are you wearing?”
Your eyes widen and your brows furrow as you angrily march over to your strappy heels and begin to put them on. “Why does it matter?” you whisper back.
“Are they the beige ones?”
“No!” Your hushed tone threatens to break into a shriek. “You know those are my period panties.”
“Please tell me they’re not the green ones.”
“Yoongi!” You get frustrated and lift your skirt just enough to show off a bit of the black lace adorning your buttcheeks as you lift your foot onto the nearby stool to finish setting the strap in place. “Satisfied?”
He breathes a sigh of relief and nods. “Good. Those are good.”
He opens the door faster than you can register the action. Jimin catches the flash of lace and more skin than he’s meant to see as you swing your leg down off the stool and adjust your dress. Heat flushes your face as you meet Jimin’s gaze. His eyes are wide and he licks his lips before nervously clearing his throat. He nonchalantly drops his hands and holds them together in front of his pelvis.
“You-You look good,” he stammers, completely stunned by your appearance.
“Thanks,” you reply with a shy smile. Park Jimin gets flustered? Who’d have thought?
He thought you were beautiful before but he’s never seen you like this. You’re completely decked out and drop dead gorgeous. He’s almost worried he’ll feel inadequate standing next to you tonight but it doesn’t stop him from wanting you by his side, hanging on his arm. He wants everyone to know that he’s there with you.
The pair of you stand there looking at one another and Yoongi slowly turns from Jimin to you, then back to Jimin.
“Have everything?” Yoongi prods, trying to get you to move so he can get on with his evening of relaxation and lazing about.
That seems to break you from your stupor and you nod and walk forward to hook your arm around Jimin’s. Before you get too far Yoongi calls to you and tests your reflexes by tossing your keys. You’ll need those if Yoongi is dead to the world asleep by the time you get home, which is quite possible. You’re not the most dextrous person but Jimin catches them and smiles at you. When you try to take them from his fingertip he moves his hand away and you swipe at the air. He offers to keep them in his pocket and you gratefully oblige. You pull your phone from its confines against your breast and check on the status of your uber with one hand while slipping your other into Jimin’s.
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Jin’s party is already in full swing by the time you arrive. It looks like something out of a movie. There are glowsticks, red solo cups, a buffet table of snacks, and loud music by the large inground pool. People inside and outside of this big ass frat house are grinding up on each other, dancing, and spilling their drinks on one another. It’s a little overwhelming honestly. You’ve never been much of a party person and this is a monster-sized one.
Jimin takes your hand in his and gives you a reassuring smile. “You want a drink, princess?”
“Yeah.” You grin and breathe a sigh of relief, feeling your insides melt at the sound of his voice. You know whatever happens tonight you’ll be okay with him by your side.
Jimin keeps you close all night, drinking and dancing and stealing the occasional quick kiss. It's pretty clear to everyone who's paying attention that there's something going on between you. You came with Jimin, you're there with Jimin, you're leaving with Jimin. Either Jungkook wasn't paying attention, or he just plain doesn't care. The moment Jimin leaves you alone to run to the bathroom, Jungkook steps up behind you in the chair you’re sitting on.
"Hey, y/n!" He smiles, all teeth and sleepy eyes. You can smell the whiskey on his breath when you turn to face him. "You look so pretty tonight."
"Thanks, Kook." You know he's one of Jimin and Tae’s closest friends. If you just hang with him until Jimin gets back, you'll be able to avoid the advances of all the weird guys here you aren't familiar with. "I like your boots," you tell him, looking down.
He follows your gaze to his feet. "Me too, I hope no one barfs on them tonight," he laughs, lifting his face back up to yours. The words are slightly slurred but you’re still able to decipher them.
His eyes definitely linger on your cleavage on their way back up. By the looks of it, he's on the short list of people who might end up barfing on those shoes. He holds his liquor well, but if you had to guess you'd say he's had more than he should have at this point in the night.
"So, I was talking to Taehyung recently," he starts with a mischievous glint in his eyes. The rest of his sentence seems to get lost in translation on the way to his mouth.
"And?" You smile at him and realize he’s probably too drunk to have anything of worth to say but you wait anyway.
"He told me something." Jungkook smiles so big his nose crinkles and he giggles like it’s the biggest secret in the universe.
You puzzle for a moment over what could have him so giddy before remembering that Taehyung is intimately familiar with your o-face. You'd gotten so close with him over the last two weeks that the details of your first time hanging out had completely slipped your mind. Jungkook is definitely about to say something crass.
"What did he tell you?" you ask, fearing you already know the answer.
Jungkook leans in closer so he can whisper in your ear. An amused giggle spills from his lips like he can’t contain the punchline to a joke only he knows. Somehow he gets his tone under control and finally speaks. "He told me your pussy tastes like heaven and what a coincidence," he pauses, "I haven't had dessert."
Jimin finds his way back to you just as you've moved to elbow Jungkook off your chair. Unfortunately, the alcohol in your system has your brain a little fuzzy and you misjudge the distance and location. You end up elbowing Jungkook right in the dick. Hard.
A circle clears around you as Jungkook doubles over in pain. Jimin steps up next to you, looking down at his friend and trying to piece together what might have led to you inflicting bodily harm.
Jungkook goes from bending over, to squatting, to laying on his side on the floor. He rolls onto his back still clutching the jewels despite the audience of people who have stopped to observe.
“I’m gonna throw up,” he squeaks out.
“Watch the boots,” you remind him as Jimin leans down to help him up and leads him towards something he can barf in. Through the crowd of people, you can see him just barely make it to a trash can in the kitchen. Gross.
Jimin gives Jungkook a pat on the back as he retches and reaches over him to grab a handful of jello shots off the counter. He returns with the rainbow of little cups clutched in each hand. The crowd seems to go back to their business of dancing and talking amongst one another, the random altercation just a fleeting moment in the night.
"What'd he do?" Jimin asks, holding his hand out to you so that you can make your selection.
"He came on to me." You shrug, picking a blue cup and popping the lid off.
"That's it? You elbowed him in the balls for hitting on you?" Jimin raises his eyebrows in shock and laughs.
"Well, it was kind of an accident. But," you pause to bring the plastic shot glass up to your lips, "he insinuated that he wanted to go down on me." You dip your tongue into the Jello and swirl it around the perimeter of its plastic casing.
Jimin watches you gather all the Jello up onto your tongue with rapt attention. He's growing so hard watching your tongue work like that. It’s driving him insane. He wants to feel it on him instead. He’s also now acutely aware of how badly he wants to swirl his tongue around your cunt, just like that.
"That makes two of us," he confesses with an enamored sigh. His hands are still full of Jello shots but that doesn’t stop him from holding your face between them.
He fiercely smashes his mouth to yours and you cave to the welcome intrusion of his tongue. It presses against yours, curling around it as he sucks the blue raspberry flavor from your mouth. You drop the empty cup to the floor and reach for his belt instead, pulling him against you until you can feel him pressed up against your stomach, hard and needy. He grinds his pelvis against you to be sure you can feel him.
“You feel that baby?” he asks, his tone low and sultry.
You grind back with a muffled hum. Before you can talk yourself out of it, you’re practically dry-humping each other next to the crowd of other sweaty, writhing couples. While Jimin likes how this feels, he’d like to regain the use of his hands. Jello shots be damned.
He pulls away for a second and looks around, depositing all but one of the unopened cups into the hands of the next person that walks by before he squeezes the chosen red one out on his tongue. He leans back in and presses his mouth to yours again. You can still taste artificial strawberry on his tongue. You're not even sure he swallowed before you started trying to lick his tonsils but you don't care. You want him now. You need him.
His thoughts are much the same as his free hand wanders down your back, dipping lower for just a second to feel the curve of your ass and squeeze. When you gasp he takes a step back and looks at you through hazy lust-drunk eyes. His lips are red from the gelatinous treat. You’d love to try and suck the color right out of them.
"Princess," he pants, his hands grabbing at your hips.
"Jimin," you breathe back, pulling him closer again. "Come home with me." It's not really an invitation. He'd be coming back with you anyway since he's currently living on your couch, but this has a different meaning and you both know it. It’s a plea for him to take you to bed.
You make out on the front lawn while you wait for the uber. You make out in the back of the uber on your way home. You make out on the way up the stairs and you leave a heart shaped love bite on his neck while he uses your keys to open the door. You make out pressed against the kitchen counter, and in the hallway.
Yoongi watches the pair of you act like he’s invisible as you stumble your way around the apartment. He has a spoonful of Fruit Loops half-lifted to his gaping mouth and finally takes his bite when you’ve made it to your room. Thank god you closed the door.
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Jimin isn't as shy this time about laying his weight over you once you’ve dropped down onto your bed. You’re warm and he seeks the heat of your body as your hands explore the taught muscles of his chest. They dance around his belt, slipping up over the curve of his perfectly round ass so you can squeeze and pull him against you, inviting him to grind his solid cock into you. Your movements get slower and more focused when you unbutton his shirt. He tugs it off his shoulders and throws it to the floor before helping you pull that tiny excuse of a dress over your head.
You're thanking your lucky stars you had the foresight to put on a matching set, despite how foolishly hopeful it felt at the time. The way Jimin is drinking you in wrapped in nothing but a little bit of black lace is making your head spin, or maybe that's the alcohol.
He sits back on his heels beside you, trailing his fingertips from your throat to the valley between your breasts. He skims over your belly button then side sweeps over your hip and down your thigh, leaving goosebumps in the wake of his touch.
"Wanna take those heels off, princess?" he asks, scooting toward them on his knees.
"I can do it," you insist, planning on making a show of dropping what's left of your modesty. You aren't counting on the way the room turns when you stand up too fast. Luckily, Jimin's reflexes are quick and his hands on your hips steady you before you can actually fall. Standing up is also doing something terrible to your stomach. It rolls and clenches and your anxiety skyrockets.
Parties aren't really your thing, and while Jimin might be drunk he is damn good at controlling it. On the contrary, it's becoming increasingly apparent that you are completely hammered.
"You okay?" Jimin asks, concern dripping from his tone. He stands up and turns you both so you can sit on the edge of your bed.
"I think... I'm drunk," you confess, unable to explain why you suddenly feel like crying.
"I think you're right, baby," he agrees, squatting down to unbuckle the ankle straps on your heels. "Let's get you some water."
Your stomach flips again and time slows as you feel the contents of the evening rise in the back of your throat. Panicking, you look to Jimin with wide eyes and a hand flying up to your mouth. He spins around looking for anything to catch what's surely coming and upends your little trash can. Candy wrappers and old class notes fall to the floor. He thrusts the can under your face just as a rainbow of Jello shots and reappears.
"I'm so sorry," you cry between heaves, tears streaking your make-up down your face.
"Shhh," Jimin soothes, gathering your hair away from your face. When he's sure you've finished, he disappears from the bedroom with the offending trash can and you're left with your horrible, alcohol twisted thoughts.
He's going to think you're pathetic and disgusting. Why on earth did you think you could drink that much?
Jimin returns with a glass of water before you can get much further into your self-deprecation.
"You're never gonna fuck me now," you blabber, your filter lost. Your thoughts are a jumble of sadness and muddled lust.
Jimin laughs. "Well, I'm definitely not gonna fuck you like this. I didn't realize you were this drunk," he softly says. It's a caring statement, not even a little bit condescending.
You should be grateful that he wants you sober for sex, but it only makes you cry harder because you really just want him so badly and you're absolutely certain you've ruined your chances beyond repair. So, you do the only thing that makes sense right now and cry harder.
Jimin wraps his arms around you and leans close to your ear. "I want to, you know. I want to lay you down and touch you all over." He presses a soft kiss to the side of your neck. "I want to taste you, feel you. I want to be inside you so badly, but not like this."
"Please," you whine.
"Sober up first, okay?" he coaxes. "Can I help you get some pajamas? Brush your teeth?"
"Okay," you sniffle.
Jimin smooths his hand up your back, tracing the black lace band of your bra with the tip of his finger. “Do you want to take this off?”
You nod, reaching behind you to unfasten the clasp while Jimin reaches down to the floor for the button down shirt he discarded. He averts his eyes while you shed your bra, then holds his shirt open for you. You slip into it but don’t bother to button it up before walking to your door. He helps you get to the bathroom but you insist on doing it yourself so you can clean up and assess just how fucked up you really look right now.
When you close the door behind you, he makes sure to quietly apologize to Yoongi, who is still scrubbing the trash bin Jimin brought out earlier. Yoongi reaches into the cabinet for the bottle of Advil and gestures to a glass of water already on the counter.
Jimin waits for you to open the door and when you finally do he's relieved that you haven't fallen asleep. You've washed the makeup from your tear-streaked face and brushed your teeth. You've even pulled your hair back so it's no longer in the way. You look at him through a hazy apologetic lens as he offers you Advil and water. The last thing you want to do is ingest anything but if it will help you in the morning, you'll try it for his sake.
The journey from the bathroom back into your room is a blur. All you can think about is crawling back into bed and sleeping this awful feeling away. You struggle with the covers for a moment until Jimin helps you slide underneath them.
"I'm sorry. Don't hate me," you plead in a weak voice.
"Why are you sorry? I don't hate you," he assures you, sitting on the edge of the bed.
He's shirtless. He could have been naked pounding your pussy stupid if you didn't overdo it on the drinks. You hate yourself a little bit for botching this chance, but if he could just put his arms around you again maybe you’d feel okay, like you didn’t blow it.
"Will you hold me?" you ask.
“Of course,” he replies softly.
The light in the room disappears and the mattress sinks behind you. His arms wrap themselves around your waist and his fingers twine with yours.
“I’ve got you,” he whispers when you squeeze his hand.
The heat of his breath brushes against your neck but you don’t close your eyes. You’re too dizzy. Instead you focus on the soothing rhythm of his breathing until the weight of your eyelids wins out against the nausea and sleep finally claims you.
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Your ringtone wakes you late, when the sun in your room is far too bright to be any time before ten. The sound is grating and irritating and you pull your pillow over your head to block it out. Jimin reaches for the phone, you can feel his weight shift and the heat of his skin when he hovers over you.
"Hello?" His voice is gruff and coarse with sleep.
Peeking out from beneath the pillow, you look over to him. His eyes are still closed and your phone is laying on his bare chest, speaker on and screen lit up.
"Gimme your bae," Jungkook's voice calls through the phone.
"She's sleeping," Jimin tells him. Looking in your direction, he meets your eyes and smiles.
You vaguely remember him making you drink more water last night, giving you Advil, and tucking you in. It's a very pleasant surprise to find that you aren’t horribly hungover.
"Wake her up," Jungkook whines. "Bro. She hit me so hard."
Jimin laughs. "You deserved it."
"I know," Jungkook agrees. "That's why I'm calling. Can I talk to her please?"
"You're on speaker."
"Hi, y/n. I got your number from Tae."
"Hi Kook," you croak.
"I'm sorry I was a douche last night. I get stupid when I drink whiskey."
"I accept your apology. Don’t do it again. How's your dick?" you ask, scooting closer to Jimin and laying your cheek on his chest. He wraps his arm around you and kisses the top of your head. The gesture makes you feel warm all over. He likes you.
"It hurts but I'll live. Sorry. For real. Do you guys wanna go eat later?" he asks you both.
Jimin answers this time. "Maybe. We have stuff to do first. I'll text you." He hangs up before Jungkook can say more.
“What stuff are we doing, hmm?” you question with a giggle, trying to play coy.
“Depends how you’re feeling, princess,” Jimin replies, leaning over you again to deposit your phone on your nightstand. He lingers above you, prompting the cautious exploration of your fingers on his chest.
Suddenly, you are acutely aware of the awful taste in your mouth. In fact, you feel gross all over. Not exactly the way you want to experience sex with Jimin for the first time.
“I’m sorry about last night,” you tell him, wiggling out from under his body. “You must think I am the worst, most unattractive human.”
“No,” Jimin says with a giggle. “I think you’re sexy and sweet. I really like you y/n.”
“Nobody likes me.” You scoff at him in disbelief.
“It’s rude to call people nobodies, don’t you think? Especially when they’ve just confessed their feelings,” Jimin teases, sitting up beside you.
“Well, let me at least brush my teeth,” you tell him, holding his shirt closed around you while you rise from the bed. You step around the clean trash can that’s been placed at the side of your bed thanks to Yoongi, noting that there is also a neat row of condoms on your nightstand and a note that reads ‘be done by 5 i wanna watch Dragonball Z after work.’
You laugh and quickly take care of your morning bathroom routine in record time so you can make use of Yoongi’s gift.
When you come back to your room, Jimin is watching you. His lips are drawn down in a pout, his eyes are half closed, and his chest, still bare, rises and falls heavily with each breath he takes as he rakes his eyes over your bare legs and up. His shirt hangs open on your body, leaving a strip of skin visible from your throat to your panties. He licks his lips when your fingers drag a slow line up that strip.
Parting the soft fabric further, you let it fall from your shoulders and pool around your feet. Jimin sits up for a better view and you wait for embarrassment to strike. It never happens. Instead, his gaze emboldens you. He looks wrecked already and he hasn't even touched you yet.
“So beautiful,” he whispers.
His assurance pulls you forward, one foot in front of the other until you’re close enough to touch and his hands are on your hips as you climb over him. He leans back under you as you push forward, connecting your lips with a force that borders on overeager. You can feel him smile against your lips and self-consciously, you will yourself to calm down. You have all day, there’s no need to rush.
When your kisses become soft and patient Jimin decides to take the initiative. He has to have you. He wants to be inside you. He sits up and sinks his hands into the flesh of your ass and begins to pull you down so he can grind up against your clothed cunt. When you moan his eyes roll back for a second and he buries his face into your neck to muffle the sound of his own. His tongue works in circles against you, giving you a taste of what’s to come before sucking a spot that has you burying your hand in his hair and grinding yourself down on him with need. He licks a hot stripe to your ear so he can whisper in it. In an instant he’s flipping you around on your back and grinding his pelvis against yours, allowing the dark desire to consume him.
“You like that, princess? You like feeling my cock on that sweet pussy of yours?”
“Yeah,” you whine, circling your legs around his hips. You can’t manage much more than that breathy reply, he is intoxicating and already you are drunk on his fumes.
“I hear it’s the sweetest. Made me so fucking jealous to hear Tae talk about you like that. You’ll let me have a taste, won’t you? Let me show you how good I can make you feel?”
“God did Tae just go around telling everyone?” you pause when the friction rubs against your clit just right. “Oh fuck,” you moan, imaging the pillowy soft press of his lips on your more intimate areas.
He chuckles in response. “No,” he assures you. “Just Jungkook and me. Don’t worry,” he says, persuading you with a careful roll of his hips that has his shaft parting your folds despite the layers of clothing between you. “He won’t talk about it anymore, and you’ll forget all about it by the time we’re done here. I’m gonna eat your sweet little cunt until mine are the only lips you remember.”
“Please,” you whimper, drawing him into a needy kiss.
His fingers dip into the band of your panties and he teases and tugs at them until you’re squirming and begging him to take them off. His lips trail wet kisses down to your breasts and he pauses to take your nipple into his mouth as he carefully works your last remaining piece of clothing down your legs.
Nudging your legs apart again, he settles between them, ghosting the pads of his fingers up the inside of your thigh as he drags your nipple gently with his teeth. He switches to repeat the action on the other side and cautiously slips a finger between your folds, parting them and testing your wetness. Much to his delight, he already finds you soaked.
“Jimin,” you breathe out. “Please.”
“Be patient for me, princess. I promise I’ll make it worth your while.” He sits back on his knees between your thighs and uses his thumbs to smear your arousal over your lips. He groans something deep and tortured when he spreads them open.
“Y/n, holy fuck,” he whispers. “You’re perfect. So perfect.”
Heat rises to your cheeks at his praise. It feels like some kind of worship the way he looks down at your cunt, watching his fingers disappear inside you. His satisfied hum is like a hymn to the divine way your hot, slick walls squeeze him, a prayer to the mere idea of having that wet heat wrapped around his needy cock.
“Tae didn’t tell me you were so tight,” Jimin admits, looking up at you under his eyelashes.
“He only used his mouth,” you tell him, throwing your arm over your eyes. “I’ll never forget his lips if you keep talking about him.”
That seems to spark a fire in Jimin. His eyes grow dark and wild. He wants to ruin you. He presses his lips to the inside of your thigh and begins sucking marks into the soft flesh while his fingers continue to pump inside of you. He slowly works his way down, making sure the red spots he leaves behind are sufficient enough to last for days. He makes sure you’ll have the reminder of his face between your legs every time you look down.
“Jimin don’t tease,” you beg, bucking your hips up to seek the warmth of his breath.
“I’m not teasing,” he chides. “I am savoring.” He curls his fingers and presses his thumb to your clit, making your legs jolt. “Trust the process.”
“Jimin--,” you start again, but you’re cut off by the first touch of his lips. It’s barely there, just the ghost of a kiss on your mound. It’s immediately followed by the flat of his tongue, pressing down as he moves it lower, slipping his fingers out as he descends. His tongue parts your folds instead, circling your dripping hole and then dipping inside it.
“Mmmmm,” he hums. “Fuck, you’re sweet.” He spreads you with his thumbs again and goes back for more, lapping at your wet cunt, swirling around your clit, sucking your folds into his lips. But it’s not just the action, it’s the drive behind it. He’s insatiable, moaning at the taste, bucking his hips into the mattress when you whine for him.
Your fingers tangle through his silver hair, twisting and pulling as he devotes himself to your undoing. He moves with you when you grind up against his jaw, stealing a glance up at your face. Jimin feels his cock twitch at the sight of you; breasts heaving, mouth hanging open, eyes squeezed shut. He’s leaking so much precum he can feel it soaking through his boxer-briefs. He’s almost afraid he’s going to lose it and cum in his pants.
“You gonna cum for me, princess?” he asks, lifting his face to push his fingers back inside. He pumps them hard, curling and searching for that elusive spot while he presses soft kisses to your clit. He alternates between flicking his tongue and rubbing against it with his lips, pausing every few seconds to whisper encouragements with warm breath puffed over your swollen bud.
“Come on, baby. Do it for me. Cum for me, princess. Let me taste it.”
“Please Jimin. Pleeeeease. I need you to suck it. Suck it harder,” you beg. “Right there. There! Don’t stop! Please! I’m so close.”
Jimin keeps steady for you despite your trembling thighs. He pounds your g-spot while he sucks as hard as you can take. Your mind goes totally blank, consumed by an orgasm so powerful you can see fireworks bursting behind your eyelids. Heat spreads from your core down your legs, up your spine.
“I’m cu— cumming— Jimiiiiin!” you cry, legs trapping his head like a vice. Your fingers leave his hair in favor of squeezing at your breasts as you ride out your orgasm. You buck your hips when he doesn’t let up after you’ve come down from your high.
“Take your pants off,” you pant, shoving at his head.
He finally pops off with a grin, his chin and lips covered in your slick.
“What if I’m not finished down here?” he teases, dipping his head back down to lick a stripe up your slit. Your whole body jumps when he touches your clit with the tip of his tongue. “Oh?” he feigns shock. “Sensitive?” he smugly asks, going back for one more taste.
“I wanna suck your cock,” you tell him, lazily pulling your legs up and turning your body away from him. You keep your eyes on him as you turn just enough to hang your head off the edge of the bed.
“Are you for real right now?” he asks, standing slowly. The tent in his pants is obscene.
“Please, Jimin. Just a little bit?”
“You’re gonna fucking kill me,” he sighs, tugging the zipper down on his jeans and letting them and his underwear fall to his ankles. He kicks them off and steps in front of you, smiling down at your upside down face, a little dumbfounded to have you wanting and willing to have him like this.
Your mouth waters at the sight of the swollen mauve tip standing at attention. He’s rock hard and so thick you’re not sure you can take him in your mouth, or your cunt for that matter. You’re glad he warmed you up with his fingers because you’re already clenching tight at the thought of that thick cock splitting you in two.
He reaches for the row of condoms as you take him in your hand and give him a few pumps. Just as he rips off one of the packets, you guide him towards the entrance of your mouth. You swirl your tongue against the tip and he drops everything, focusing on the way you tease him instead.
He inhales sharply. “Fuck. Who’s the tease now?”
You run your tongue along his shaft and smile when you get to the tip, giving it a quick kiss. “I’m savoring. What happened to trusting the process?”
He drags his lip through his teeth and clenches his jaw as you put his patience to the test but lucky for him you’re kind. He doesn’t have to wait long. You close your lips around him a moment later, reaching around his hips to guide him deeper, controlling the depth of his thrusts until he learns your limits and leans over you. With his hands on your breasts he rolls his hips. He can feel the tip of his cock bumping the back of your throat. He moans when you gag around him.
“That’s it, princess. Suck it. Just like that,” he praises.
Jimin is careful with his pace, and tender with his touch when he twists your nipples. He thinks he’s in control. He thinks he can take this just fine, despite the fact that your mouth feels fucking incredible. It’s when he watches you part your thighs and slip your hand between them to finger yourself while he fucks your mouth that he realizes he’s got none of the control he was so certain of. His balls tighten and he pulls out quickly and squeezes them, pinching at the tip of his cock and leaving you gasping for the breath you couldn’t catch with him in your mouth.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck. I need a second,” he huffs, eyes closed, standing perfectly still. He breathes slowly and deeply. If you could peek into his brain you’re sure you’d see any number of boring things trying to distract him from the image of you fucking yourself with your fingers while you sucked his cock. It’s futile. He’s certain he’ll see it in his dreams.
“Did I do something wrong?” you wonder, shuffling around so that you’re laying back on your pillows.
Jimin ignores your question. He knows you’re well aware he almost came in your mouth. “I need to be inside you like, now,” he says, picking up the condom again.
You watch him tear it open and roll it on with his one knee pressed into the mattress and his other foot on the floor.
"Come on then," you coax, opening your legs for him to crawl between.
He pushes two fingers inside you on his way up, dragging them out slowly and smearing your wetness around your pussy before he lines his cock up and sinks in to the hilt in one smooth press.
You gasp as he fills you, feeling the stretch of his girth, and he hushes your whimpering and brushes his nose against yours. "I'm sorry baby," he soothes. "I'll go slow." He seals the promise with a kiss before hiking your legs up high around his waist and wrapping his arms around you.
He lies still like this, waiting for the green light while he kisses you breathless. He moves to your neck when you break away to inhale, sucking more little bruises in the skin there. "Tell me when."
"Move," you moan. "Move. Fuck me."
Jimin pulls out slowly, leaving just the tip inside. He pushes back in just as slow, repeating the action several times until it looks like you're about to cry.
You need it so badly. It feels cruel to have him rocking so gently inside you when all you want is to be ruined by him. "Harder," you plead.
"Are you sure?"
"Don't make me beg," you whine.
"What if I want you to beg?" he jokes, dropping his hips against you. It's almost hard enough to satisfy you.
"Then I'll beg."
Jimin groans, dropping his head to your shoulder as he sets a brutal pace. He pounds into you, forcing the air from your lungs with his powerful thrusts, rolling his hips like his life depends on it. "You're so fucking good for me, princess. So tight. Feels so fucking good."
"Go faster," you tell him, grabbing a handful of his ass.
Shifting higher on his knees, he picks up the pace. Sweat beads on his forehead and over his lip. It beads in the dip of his cupid's bow and you lick it away before raking his bottom lip through your teeth.
“You feel my fat cock baby?" he asks. You moan in response pulling your legs higher so he can fuck you even deeper. "You like the way I fill you, don't you? Want me to fuck you full of my cum? Take it," he grunts. "You take it so fucking well. You gonna cum for me again, baby?”
“Yes, yes, yes,” you chant, rocking your hips to meet his thrusts.
Jimin pulls out when you start to clench, not quite edging you but stealing the pleasure you were high on nonetheless. You whine at the loss of him, walls fluttering wildly around nothing.
"Can we try something?" he asks, lifting your legs and putting them to the side.
"What did you have in mind?" you wonder. You reach for his cock but he's already moving, nudging at your hips until you turn.
"Up on your knees for me, princess," he instructs. He kneels behind you once you're in position and smooths his hand up your spine, guiding you gently down onto your elbows. “Is this okay?”
“It’s good,” you assure him, wiggling your hips a little to get him moving again.
He teases your slit with the tip of his cock, dragging it through your folds and rubbing it against your clit. Finally, he pushes back inside you, coaxing a fresh wave of arousal with the stretch of his girth. It’s deeper like this and impossibly you feel even more full than you did before.
“Oh, Jimin,” you sigh, dropping your face into your folded arms. “Jimin.”
“Good?” He folds himself over you, pressing his chest to your back and sliding his hands from your hips to your breasts.
You thrust yourself back into him as you answer. “Perfect. You?”
It takes him by surprise but he follows your lead. He drives himself into your cunt while massaging your breasts and kissing your back. “Fuck, y/n…” he moans, letting his teeth drag over your shoulder before he bites down.
You hiss at the sting and he soothes it with his tongue and puckered lips.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous taking my cock like this. Feel how deep I am. You’re squeezing me so tight, baby.”
“Jimin? Jimin, I need—,” you gasp out between thrusts.
“What, princess? What do you need?” he questions, releasing a breast to play with your clit instead. “Want me to pull your hair? Want me to fill you with my cum?”
“I wanna ride you.”
“Oh, fuck.” Jimin pulls back immediately.
He lays down beside you and grabs at your waist, guiding you over his cock and holding on tight as you drop your weight and take him completely. Swiveling your hips, you set a pace slow and steady. Jimin’s thumbs rubs soft circles into your skin as you move.
“Go faster,” he urges, unable to keep his hips from rising to meet yours.
You shake your head ‘no’ and continue with your slow rolling pace.
“Please, y/n. Ride it like you wanna cum with me.”
Smirking devilishly, you slow down even more and lean over him with your hands on either side of his head.
He looks down, watching your breasts sway and the way his cock disappears over and over.
“Fuck, y/n. PLEASE,” he whines, roughly grabbing your hips and pounding up into you.
Your startled laugh quickly turns into desperate cries of his name. His cock hits your g-spot directly. It feels so good you don’t even think you need him to touch your clit to make you cum. But he does. He pinches your bud between his fingers while he slams into you, growling and moaning and begging you to cum with him.
“I’m close,” he grunts, licking his fingers and rubbing furiously at your clit.
“Me too,” you whine. “I’m gonna—”
You don’t have time to finish the thought as he takes you over the edge with him. He slams his head back against the pillows as he pumps his hips and cums to the wild pulsing of your orgasm. Your cunt milks every last drop from him and you cry his name, clutching his wrists and letting your head fall back so you can wail your pleasure at the ceiling.
Jimin gasps, picking up his head to look down at how your pussy spreads open around him. Your slick cum coats the condom and his mouth waters, remembering the sweet tang of your taste. You’ve barely stopped grinding on him when he sits up to push you down on your back.
Pulling out, he kneels beside the bed and pulls you to the edge by your legs so he can gently lick you clean. He exhales a hot and heavy breath, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before standing up to peel the loaded condom off his softening cock.
“That was… wow,” you pant, staring up at the ceiling for a moment as you try to regain your breath.
He’s already back at your side, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you towards his chest.
“Yeah,” he agrees while softly combing his fingers through your hair. He’s tired.
You smile against his sweaty chest and plant a soft salty kiss against him. Through the corner of your eye you see the row of untouched condoms on your nightstand. “We’ve got a lot left. Wanna go again?”
He hums a deep throaty sound and laughs when your hand falls to his limp cock. “I want to, but I need a bit to recharge. I can make you cum again while we wait. Do you want that, baby?”
“I always want that. But you don’t have to.”
The groan in his throat sounds croaky as he leans in to kiss your forehead. “I want to.”
He reaches down to wedge his fingers between your thighs and your whole body jumps at the sensitive sensation. How dare your body betray you in this moment?
“Seems like you might need time to recharge too,” he teases while nuzzling against the top of your head and squeezing you in a warm embrace against him. “I’m okay with just laying here and holding you.”
“Yeah?” You smile and cross your leg over his to get more comfortable. “Mmm. You can always help me study for the next test while you’re here.”
Laughter bubbles from his throat. “Are you trying to seduce me for answers to the exam? You know I don’t grade them, right.”
You roll your eyes and scoff, barely containing your giggles as you look up at him. “I don’t think I need to seduce anyone for answers. My head feels a little clearer now.”
“Oh? Why’s that?” he prods while playfully ghosting his fingers down your side.
“Because I know I can be distracted outside of class now instead. I mean, if you wanna keep doing this,” you explain while nervously drumming your fingertips on his chest. “I know I’m not anything special, but—”
Jimin lifts your chin and pulls you into a deep kiss. “You are,” he whispers when he pulls away.
You lick your lips and blink a few times. “I was gonna say you make me feel like I am the most special vanilla ice cream cone on the planet.”
His shy, warm smile fills your stomach with butterflies even as he makes his joke. “Want me to lick you up?”
“And so much more.”
It’s a weighted confession. You sit up to look at him so he knows this. He purses his lips and casts his away. He was avoiding this conversation.
“I don’t know how much more I can give you. I want to be what you deserve, but things are so hard right now. I don’t know that I can be someone who’s good enough for you. You deserve to be showered in gifts and taken on dates. You deserve to be given flowers every day. I don’t even have a car to take you somewhere for a vacation. I’m not sure I can be what you want.”
“Just be yourself,” you state plainly, cupping your hand around his jaw. “That’s what I want. So far I like the person I see. I like you, the real you.”
“I like you too,” he blurts, eyes snapping back to meet yours. “But I can’t afford—”
You press a finger to his lips. “I don’t need expensive dates or fancy gifts. I don’t need you to take care of me— well, last night was the exception and you didn’t need money for that. I just want you to be with me. Talk with me. Spend time with me. Maybe have lots of sex? I don’t know, we can figure out the rest later.” You laugh, embarrassed by your own boldness.
“You see everything that I am and you still want me.” He shakes his head in disbelief. “You’re amazing. Now I know for sure you’re too good for me. But,” he pauses and slips his hands into yours, “I want to keep seeing you. I like talking to you and the more time I spend with you, the more certain I feel about the choices I’ve made. No one’s ever made me feel so free. I want to hold onto that feeling. I want to hold onto you.”
You tell yourself not to cry as you straddle his waist and hover above his lips. “I’m yours then. Are you mine?”
He catches your lips between his and buries his hands in your hair. “I’m yours.”
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lavellander · 3 years
Text
hello im feeling extra “touch the stove”-y today so. i was looking for any dialogue where solas just straight up lies and (of what i could find online/transcribed, obv) i didnt find anything that was 100% untrue. he’ll completely avoid the question, change the subject, give part of the truth, etc etc etc, but nothing was just Entirely A Lie
what really gets me is that there’s a handful of convos where someone infers something from what solas says, and he will even point out that he didn’t directly say that. like, he tells people how to see through his shit, lmao
here is an embarrassingly long ass list of examples, all sorted by what kind of not-lying he’s doing lol, just bc i am unhinged<3
*note that some of these are cut from longer bits of dialogue or have been split up from one conversation into different categories*
literally just Not Answering The Question lol
Dorian: How much “will” do they have? They’re amorphous constructs of the Fade. Solas: Hmm.
Dorian: Solas, have I offended you? Solas: If you have, why would it concern you?
Dorian: Solas, what is this whole look of yours about? Solas: I’m sorry? Dorian: No, that outfit is sorry. What are you supposed to be, some kind of woodsman? Dorian: Is it a Dalish thing? Don’t you dislike the Dalish? Or is it some kind of statement? Solas: No.
Dorian: Let me get this straight, Solas. Dorian: You’re an apostate – neither Dalish nor city elf – who lived alone in the woods studying spirits. Solas: Is that a problem for you?
Solas: [has a whole tactical moment about the red jennies lmao] Sera: Where d’you get all this, then? Solas: Do you wish to be unnerved by another tale of my explorations of the Fade? Or do you wish to learn something?
Vivienne: You must be pleased with what was revealed at the Temple of Mythal, Solas. Solas: Why should those ruins please me, Enchanter?
changing the subject before he backs himself into a corner
Gatt: I don’t see any tattoos, but you’re carrying a staff. Are you from a Chantry Circle? Solas: No. And I would prefer not to discuss it.
Solas: I find the fall of the dwarven lands confusing. Varric: What’s so confusing about endless darkspawn? Solas: A great deal, although that is a different matter.
giving the truth, but not the whole truth
Blackwall: Skyhold. How did you find it? Solas: I looked. Blackwall: Now you sound like Cole. You looked? Solas: This world is full of wonders for those who seek them.
Blackwall: You spoke of seeing death and destruction. Did you fight in a war? Solas: There are struggles across Thedas at any given time. I doubt you would have heard of it. Blackwall: An elven skirmish? Solas: In a manner of speaking, yes.
Cassandra: Solas, have you always lived alone? Out in the wilderness, as an apostate? Solas: For the most part.
Cassandra: Have you ever encountered templars before? Solas: Only at a distance. I am an apostate, after all. Cassandra: And they never caught you even once? Solas: I am a very careful apostate.
Dorian: We found elves, living ancient elves, at the Temple of Mythal. Does that bother you, Solas? If Inquisitor allied with the Sentinels: Solas: I am pleased we were not forced to kill them, if that’s what you mean.
Iron Bull: You’ve got an odd style, Solas. Your spells are a bit different from the Circle mages or the Vints. Solas: That comes from being self-taught. Solas: I discovered most of my magic on my own, or learned it from my journeys in the Fade.
Vivienne: So, an apostate? Solas: That is correct, Enchanter. I did not train in your Circle.
Solas: You are a man who made a choice... possibly the first of your life. Iron Bull: I’ve always liked fighting. What if I turn savage, like the other Tal-Vashoth? Solas: You have the Inquisition, you have the Inquisitor... and you have me.
from cutscene at beginning Inquisitor: [mentions the anchor closing a rift] Solas: Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand. I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach's wake – and it seems I was correct.
from cutscene at beginning Solas: [to a Dalish Inq] You are Dalish, but clearly away from the rest of your clan. Did they send you here? Inquisitor: What do you know of the Dalish? Solas: I have wandered many roads in my time, and crossed paths with your people on more than one occasion. Inquisitor: [Crossed paths? dialogue choice] Solas: I mean that I offered to share knowledge, only to be attacked for no greater reason than their superstition.
from “I’d like to know more about you” convo in Haven Inquisitor: What made you start studying the Fade? Solas: I grew up in a village to the north. There was little to interest a young man, especially one gifted with magic. But as I slept, spirits of the Fade showed me glimpses of wonders I had never imagined. I treasured my dreams. Being awake, out of the Fade, became troublesome.
actually telling the truth but no one picks up on the gravity of it
Solas: [...] I believe the elven gods existed, as did the old gods of Tevinter. But I do not think any of them were gods, unless you expand the definition of the word to the point of absurdity. I appreciate the idea of your Maker, a god that does not need to prove his power. I wish more such gods felt the same. Cassandra: You have seen much sadness in your journeys, Solas. Following the Maker might offer some hope. Solas: I have people, Seeker. The greatest triumphs and tragedies this world has known can all be traced to people.
Cole: No, inside. I don’t hear your hurt as much. Your song is softer, subtler, not silent but still. Solas: How small the pain of one man seems when weighted against the endless depths of memory, of feeling, of existence. That ocean carries everyone. And those of us who learn to see its currents move through life with their fewer ripples.
Cole: You didn’t do it to be right. You did it to save them. Inquisitor: Solas, what is Cole talking about? Solas: A mistake. One of many made by a much younger elf who was certain he knew everything.
Solas: Empires rise and fall. Arlathan was no more “innocent” than your own Tevinter in its time. Solas: Your nostalgia for the ancient elves, however romanticized, is pointless.
Solas: Our people used to be here. Sera: Pfft, you say that everywhere. Solas: It is more true than you want to believe.
Vivienne: You must be pleased, apostate. With the Templars dissolved, your rebels will be most difficult to pacify. Solas: My rebels? Am I an agent for their cause, whispering poison into the Inquisition’s ears? Solas: How comforting. Vivienne: You enjoy seeing yourself as a villain? Solas: No more than any other clever man who wonders what he could do if pushed.
Vivienne: [about the Temple of Mythal] Now you know the elves were once a mighty nation. Solas: I always knew, Enchanter. The Temple of Mythal is just another reminder of what was lost.
(in the Emerald Graves): These forests have changed much since I was last here.
during the Fade!Haven cutscene Solas: It seems you hold the key to our salvation. You had sealed it with a gesture... and right then, I felt the whole world change. Inquisitor: [romance option] “Felt the whole world change?” Solas: A figure of speech. Inquisitor: I’m aware of the metaphor. I’m more interested in felt. Solas: You change... everything.
pointing out that people assume he means things he did not directly say
Cole: There is pain though, still within you. Solas: And I never said there was not.
Solas: You may well become fully human, after all. I never thought to see it. Cole: When did you see it before? Solas: I did not say that I had.
Iron Bull: We’ve got the alliance with my people. Given how much you love the Qun, I figured... Solas: I might scold you? Berate you for your decisions? Iron Bull: Hey. The Chargers died as heroes for the good of the mission. Solas: I never said otherwise.
Sera: Don’t you start. Solas: I’m reasonably certain I said nothing.
Vivienne: [talking shit about grey warden mages] Solas: I never claimed mages should be above the law, Enchanter. Vivienne: No, darling. You merely implied it, while offering no viable suggestions for improvement.
after infamous “side benefits” dialogue Warrior Inquisitor: You find my muscles enjoyable? Solas: I meant that you enjoyed having them, presumably. Warrior Inquisitor: Ah. Solas: But yes... since you asked.
diminishing things he does actually know by saying he he “believes” or “thinks,” or that things were vaguely “said” or “told”
Solas: I say what I believe to be true, even if it gives offense to those who prefer the lie.
Dorian: That orb Corypheus carries... are you certain it’s of elven origin, Solas? Solas: I believe so. Why do you ask?
Solas: It is said that we lived at a pace that sustained us for... ages.
making it sound like he’s talking about something/someone else, but it’s just him lmao
Cole: Do you know a lot about wolves? Solas: I know that they are intelligent, practical creatures that small-minded fools think of as terrible beasts.
Solas: No man can kill so many people without breaking inside. To survive... those you fight must become monsters. Iron Bull: The ones that kill innocent people, yeah. The rest... I don’t know. Solas: The mind does marvelous things to protect itself.
during In Hushed Whispers Inquisitor: I’m glad you understood what he just said because I’m not sure I did. Solas: You would think such understanding would stop me from making such terrible mistakes. You would be wrong.
misc
this one i wanted to include because it’s the only circumstance (that i came across) where someone directly asks solas to lie and he literally says he can’t
during the fucking crestwood breakup scene Inquisitor: [angry option] Tell me you don’t care. Solas: I can’t do that. Inquisitor: Tell me I was some casual dalliance so I can call you a cold-hearted son of a bitch and move on! Solas: I’m sorry.
*also note that most of these are banter transcriptions from the wiki; some are cutscene / other dialogue posted by either @/daitranscripts or u/karinini on reddit; it’s not all his cutscenes obv, but I’m not about to look up every single one individually sdlkfj*
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the-sanders-sides · 3 years
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(wtit spoiler warning)
unpopular opinion, but im not really a big fan of the idea of the orange side being wrath or anger. while similar to inside out, the sides arent really emotions; rather, they are your different conflicting thought processes when you work through a problem. you have the side of you that is logical and knows the facts and tries to use reason to solve things, the side of you that focuses on your morals and tries to use steadfast loyalty to your values to solve problems. there is the side that is anxious and tries to use to make use of fear to protect u and solve the problem.
there are the sides of you that are creative that think of fantastical solutions to your problems, whether good or bad, that try to take you to your dreams and desires. with roman, this is with disney-esque tales and hopes that keep thomas going and having a reason to things. with Remus, I think it may be using the intrusive thoughts to get Thomas to slow down when thomas is overwhelmed and wants to rest, which makes sense bc, at least with me, ik when I have an uptick of intrusive thoughts, it usually means i need to rest and relax so I'll be less overwhelmed and take care of myself.
and there is the side that is deceitful and cunning and mean and self-centered as a means towards approaching your problems with your self-preservation as the primary thing to uphold. unlike morals which may tell you to share what you have, this deceitful side of you acts selfishlessly to make sure that you are put first, no matter the cost. which is why I think any anger or wrath would come from Janus. anger as an emotion is often an expression of self-preservation. you feel anger when you know you've been hurt and you lash out in anger to protect yourself. janus has lashed out a fair amount for the small amount of episodes he's been in.
by now, it's also fairly agreed upon that Janus and patton are opposites/counters as well as roman and remus. with both pairings, it's seen that you need a healthy balance between those two sides, those two lines of thought, to not completely fall apart.
i am a firm believer that anxiety is the counter or parallel or opposite of logic. your logical thought processes get so messed up when you're anxious and scared, and logical thinking is often used as a tool to combat anxiety. this was explored between Virgil and Logan very early in the series. virgils anxiety causes cognitive distortions that weaken logans logical processes in being listened to. logans logical thoughts are able to tame Virgil's anxiety when it's too strong. i think Logan and Virgil balance each other out. those are the two who make a healthy balance together which has been discusses, albeit briefly, early on (remember the Yerkes Dodson curve?).
this is why I think that whatever the orange side, the seventh side, is, it won't be a counter to anyone in specific, and it won't be wrath/anger. right now, orange is showing up when Logan is weakened in someway. when janus kidnaps him in svs redux, orange only shows up after that. when Remus messes with Logan in today's wtit and logan is frustrated and out of it, only then did orange come through. we don't know if orange can control other sides as well, but if it's like janus at all, where janus tries to remove logan and his rationality from the problem solving, there's a reason it would focus on messing with logic & rationality to achieve it's goal of however it helps thomas.
because remember, all the sides do what they think is best for thomas. the sides are the manifestations of his different thought processes driven by different outlooks that all have an end goal of trying to solve thomas's problem in that way. but in the end, it is always up to thomas to choose which thought pattern he'll listen to. thomas chooses what he will do based on the persuasiveness of his different thought processes.
(for example, c!thomas comes across a wallet on the sidewalk. morally, he thinks the wallet should be turned in to the local authorities at all costs no matter what. his self preservation instincts tell him to take the cash and leave the wallet behind since the detour would waste his time. his anxiety tells him to leave it alone so he wont get framed for stealing. good creativity/roman would make him imagine a grand heroic prize for tracking down the owner of the wallet and personally delivering it, and bad creativity/remus might make c!thomas imagine finding and killing the wallets owner so he can take all the money. logical thought would say for c!thomas to return the wallet to local authorities if he has the time to do so, and if not, to leave it be. these are all just the different thoughts running through c!thomas's head which can then be personified as sides, and whichever action he does is attributed to the side who had the most persuasive line of thought, but none of these lines of thought are trying to hurt thomas, it's all different ways of protecting/helping him.)
so whatever orange is, needs logic and rationality to be a bit disrupted before being able to be persuasive enough to be listened to. this doesnt really seem like anger/wrath to me. someone can be rational and angry (ie. planning a revenge later rather than hurting someone now, passive aggression, etc.) which all feels more like Janus things to me, and I think you actually need to be rational to use your anger effectively. going ham on someone without thought will not have the same effect as thinking about the best places to hit without them getting you back. anger and logic don't need to keep each other in check like deceit and morality or logic and anxiety; rather, they need to work together. i dont think logan would be opposed to a side that represented anger at all. and orange would not destabilize logan so much if it were anger.
plus, Virgil is the only side that really represents an emotion. but I think people generally always have a sense of anxiety and fear in their problem solving, but anger/wrath isn't always there. for a quick issue like a lost wallet, i can see how these other sides of thought processes can exist, but i dont know what anger would tell Thomas to do there since anger is just an emotion.
so the question is, what is a thought pattern that exists when solving problems that tries to protect/help you, while also needing to push away or overpower your sense of logic & rationality to be persuasive enough to be listened to? I don't have the answer to this but I'd love to hear what other people think about this! especially if u see flaws in my reasoning of why orange isn't anger, I'd love to know!
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