#ok i forgot how her outfit works and i did not look at reference but thats ok. i can do whatever i want

[w0rmsprite]

may or may not have just shoved the salamander in there to give her something to look at but in reality i think he's the real star of the piece

#homestuck #rose lalonde #wormsart #grimdark rose #homestuck fanart #ok i forgot how her outfit works and i did not look at reference but thats ok. i can do whatever i want

[rottingsparrow]

Part 5!! Re-reading Lore Olympus :) Ep. 41-50

I just finished reading the new episode too so I have things to say about but that can wait for like in two weeks when I get there lmao Last part:

Ep 41

Simple dialogue is nice once and a while

I know they are supposed to be love at first sight but its so awful to see how they act even if i was crushing hard on someone if they acted like that id be weirded out

“Lets go the scenic route” nah she almost died let her breathe

“Who is that woman” shes 19 you referred to her as a kid

Ah yes the barley mother part of the storyline

It so weird to me its like rachel wanted her to be rich bc she loves painting poor people in a poor(heh) light

Why is it raining atm

Ep 42

PERSEPHONE STOP STANDING LIKE THAT

What a poor way of thinking hades yes you two shouldnt be together but your thought process is unhealthy talk to your therapist

You are so gross hades just dont look at her

Hades really says “sexualise her outfit”

I hate to be that bitch but apollo was right. Not about her needing to change but like in the presence of hades apparently anything is too hot for him

Why does his have a hair comb

“Youre a fertility goddess” ok so thats a whole thing bc later its seen as a myth within the community and everything so what

“This is out of the question” and it shouldve ended there

Ep 43

Also he has the right to turn it down lmao its his company

Hera wont think youre weak

Or maybe she will shes a lil fucked up

“Little goddess, I said no” wow what a normal and healthy power dynamic that isnt questionable at all

Rachel really went all out for unhealthy dynamics, boss and employee, king and citizen, 2000 smth y/o and a 19 y/o. Lets throw in teacher and student why not. Maybe even parent and adopted child

“Im king here” like i said, unhealthy.

“Oh shit i cant make her rich that would make no sense to her problems” dont worry, just make it to where she doesnt use her moms money

Also hades how stupid are you to not see shes hustling you i mean maybe at first but

I do like her wanting to be her own person even tho i think that gets muddled throughout the story

Why is it snowing now wtf

Also shes not gonna die from snow hades wtf

She can go outside on her own

Ep 44

What a weird thing to do introduce an intern

Like wtf let your employees go home

Minthe has a point

Its a very cute scene but then you like remember everything else and its like omg

Like him laughing and her being a lil embarrassed is so fun but tied with everything its a tad weird

Yeah you shouldnt persephone and yall should get boundaries

Persephone why didnt you tell on her genuinely

Dont be rude hades

Persephone has a point, no reason to be super mad

Oh btw heres apollo just incase you forgot he was bad. Did i mention hes bad?

Ep 45

I like this episode while hes contemplating his feelings and then he goes “her ass looks like an upside down heart” and i lose any happiness i had

Like youre 2000 control urself

And im not saying persephone isnt allowed to be sexual or sexualized but the age difference, hes her boss, and also at this point in time she doesnt like it so

Why did you bring the paper from work what

Ep 46

This is one of the prime episodes where minthe gets fleshed out but then rachel says sike later on

ALSO ITS ONLY BEEN 4 DAYS SINCE THE PARTY

Please people can have a day of relaxation where nothing happens

“Neither of us are relationship material” yall definitely let those lines blur

Shes right to be worried

Also hera is so racist to nymphs

“I know im trash already” me in like middle school

No its good to expand on her character

“Thats what everyone expects” is it? I mean how long have you been acting this way yknow

Like i want more context for that line

Idk is hades monogamous

Also zeus does cheat on his wife a lot maybe hades would

He dosent but

“I thought we were supposed to be messed up together” and i think showing a two sided toxic relationship is a great idea but rachel forgets to show hades being bad too most of the time

Also please see a therapist

Ep 47

He has a typewriter old man

“Why do i pay that hack” good point i mean you dont seem to listen to them

I dont get why he gets back with minthe like fear of being alone or what

I like the letter episode though, its nice to hear all of the feelings

Why is she on the roof lol

Ep 48

I love the furies(?)

Hes supposed to be so spooky in this episode hes so lame

Like i agree with them hes a dork

Wow everyone either likes or despises hades/persephone they are such characters

Has anyone heard of a neutral opinion

Minus his employees i guess

Ope he has glasses

Ep 49

I love the random characters getting names its so silly yet fun to me

Hecate please unpop ur collar

Good talk hecate

Does he not care thats the king

In the “salutations” panel hecate loses all meat and becomes very long

Also if these are laws why does no one follow them

Or wait is weekly nark an olympus based newspaper

I always thought he asked “which eye did you take the picture with” but he doesnt so ig im thinking of something else

Also what the fuck just ban him or smth

Ep 50

Yeah artemis maybe it would be easier too if you paid better attention

Shut. the fuck up apollo

Also how is artemis getting taken advantage of here

Love hermes

Hc him as a gay man personally

“There are rules” that literally are never listened too

Also artemis sucks at listening wtf

Like wanting to talk and getting onto someone are two different things

Also like once again, artemis feels likes choosing to be unaware yknow

#anti lore olympus #lore olympus #my opinion #lo critical #lore olympus critical #random thoughts

[hyperfixationspam]

s2 finale liveblog

good morning sluts i am so fucking scared

hes in his meditation era

"idk a wave or something" babygirl i love you

OH THE DADDY ISSUES

STOP SAYING SIMPLE

SSHSHSKSHDJS POOR BABYGIRL HE WANTS TO BE ADOPTED SO BAD

SWEETHEART WHAT ARE YOU DOING

IS HE BEING MUTINIED FROM FISHING 😭😭😭

YEAH THEY ARE DICKS TELL EM BB

ZHENG IS FINE SHES IN THE TRAILER FUCK YOU

"britain never shall be slaves" 🫤 interesting choice of words

PETES POOR BALD HEAD 😭

JACKIE LOOKS SO SAD 😭😭

RICKY YOU BITCH MY ENEMY FUCK YOU

YOUR NOSE?? YOU FREAK

EWW YOU BITCH I HATE YOU

ZHENG!!!!!

OH GOD SHES HAVING FLASHBACKS

OH THIS IS WHERE THAT SCENE IS FROM

AUNTIE CANT BE DEAD NOO 😭😭😭

ZHENG BB GET UP PLS

STEDE!!!!

"or is it?" loser i love you

ZHENG HELL YEAH!!!!!

her fixing her pigtails 😭 shes so cute

ED POOR SWEETIE

OH. OK.

hes already added a third daddy to have issues about what an icon

YEAHHHHHHHH LETS FUCKIN GOOOOOO

SHUT UP RICKY FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

lmaooo izzy coming into "well actually 🤓☝️"

PINOCCHIO 😭😭 WE LOVE A CALLBACK

IZZY STOP WITH THE CANDLES

"the brains of this operation" 🤮🤮🤮 U RACIST BITCH

IZZY LORE???

HEY JACKIE. WHATS THAT. JACKIE

THE SOLDIERS READING THE LETTER NO NO NO NO

SOOOOOOOBS

ED READING THE ROMANTIC LETTER WHILE MURDERING THESE BITCHES 😭😭 I LOVE YOU

GNOSSIENE REMIX???

"WE WROTE OUR NAMES ON EACH OTHER" SHUT UPPPPPP

SWEET BABY

"you wrote me a lovely letter!!! 😡" why is he mad now shskdhskd

stede practically tripping over his own feet is so funny

NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME FOR OUR BEAUTIFUL ROMANTIC HERO TO STEP IN

YEAHHHHH

THE MUSICAL CALLBACK 😭😭😭😭

OH MY GOD ITS JUST LIKE HIS DREAM THIS IS SO FUNNY AND HEARTBREAKING AND STUPID AND LIFE SHATTERING

zheng being like "ok we need to hurry this up so you bitches can be gay" queen

THE LONG AWAITED FIGHTING TOWARDS EACH OTHER SCENE!!!!!!

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAA

SWEETHEARTS 💕💕💕💕💕

KISSY!!!!!!!

"lifes a dick" real 😭

KISSY!!!!! THATS KISSY NUMBER FIVE NUMBER SIX IF YOU COUNT THE SECRET ONE

HE SAID IT!!!!!! HE SAID IT!!!!!!

bro hit him with the star wars reference 🫤

ZHENG 😭😭

wait has ed not met zheng??? i completely forgot

"shes super tough" "GUYSSSSS FUUUUUUUCK" i love her so much she is everything to me

"FOR LOOOOOVE" HAHAHAHA

"we need someone to pee on the shirt" hey im sorry what did i just walk into

AUNTIE!!!!!!!

"ive got plenty of blood" yeah i can see that

LMAOO THEM JUST CHILLING NEXT TO THE BODIES OF THE DEAD SOLDIERS

"oh you saw the flip ☺️" lmaooo

"i caught it 🥰" cuteeee

BABE!!!!!

"men have cost her too much" lore??? also me too bitch the fuck

"ur not a man" oh transgender? "ur soft" 🫤

"you dont do soft?? 😫" olu baby ily

izzy im scared for u pls stop taunting him

"because....." we're gay? "we're good" ok that works too

"you are a rancid syphilitic cunt 💅" iconic

"ooh theres a lot of them 🫤" stede saw his bf and forgot about strategy

OH SHIT SHE DID POISON THEM. WAIT FUCK WHO ELSE IS POISONED.

"is that us doing that" STEDE YOU DUMBASS 😭😭😭😭

wait theyre poison trained??? wtf 😭

"no!!!!! let me kill him 🥰" beautiful

bruh olu having to remind her to be nice 😭

"i am. proud. of you. 😐" so genuine 💞

ZHENG MY SWEETHEART MY SWEET GIRL

ASS SHOT?????? HELLO?????????

ok ur taking the outfits but who took the underwear too 😭😭

zheng lookin kinda 🥵🥵🥵

how are they all rocking this its a navy uniform its not supposed to look good

is frenchie wearing eyeliner hell yeah

ok yeah why did you trust ricky with that

DID. DID IZZY JUST GET SHOT. HELLO

why did olu grab that guy so intimately it looked like he was about to kiss him 😭

JIM IS JIM OK

OH GOD IZZYS ABOUT TO DIE ISNT HE. HES ABOUT TO BE WUZZY

OK AT LEAST JIM SEEMS FINE

OLU I LOVE YOU SILLY BOY

AUNTIE??????? NO NO NO

WHY IS LUCIUS RUNNING SO GAYLY 😭😭😭

izzys makeup he looks so close to death oh god

"SIT WITH ME EDDIE" FUUUUUUCK

"IM SORRY" GOD FINALLY

GOD HES FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGING IT. I CAN DIE IN PEACE. HOPEFULLY IZZY CAN TOO I GUESS

"it was us" FUCK FUXK FUCK FUXK FUCK FUUUUUCK

"i wanna go" OH MY GODDDDD

"youre my only family" "oh fuck off you twat" yeah thats the proper response 😭

"JUST BE ED" FUCKU FUXK FUCK FUXK

OH MY GOD. THE "THERE HE IS" PARALLEL. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.

OH MY FUCKING GOD HE FUCKIN DEAD

congratulations to con o neill for doing the most convincing dead eyes ive ever seen thats a bit terrifying

STEDE PLEEEEASE GO GET YOUR MAN DONT JUST STAND THERE

OH THEYRE BURYING HIM HES LIKE DEAD DEAD NO RISING FROM THE GRAVE FOR HIM

ROACH GIVING THE MIDDLE FINGER SHSKDHSKF

"he was a fucking nightmare what a guy" spitting straight facts

"i think wed be good together. kick a lotta ass" hell yeah wlw mlm solidarity

oh shit rickys still alive i forgot 😭

"shes said enough" HAHAHAHAHA

WEDDING WEDDING WEDDING WEDING YES YES YES YES

fang are u ok

ED........ THOSE EYES........

MATEYS!!!!!!!!!!

ok fang is not ok pls get this boy some therapy

"or kiss or something" 😭

CUTIES!!!!!!!! HUSBANDS!!!!!! MATEYS!!!!!!! CUTIES!!!!!!!!!

NINA SIMONE HELL YEA

WAIT IS FRENCHIE FIRST MATE FOR REAL NOW

OH SHIT JACKIES HERE TOO. FOUND FAMILY UNION!!!!

sugarballs????? 😭😭😭

WAIT ED AND STEDE STAYED BEHIND OH FUCK

INNKEEPERS!!!!!!!

OH MY GODDDDDDD

BUTTONS??????

frenchie skinny legend

wait who pissed on the towel

WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO FOR S3 IF THEYRE BEHIND THO. LIKE IM HAPPY FOR THEM BUT WHAT ABOUT S3

[lonespektr]

FRIDAY SEPTEMBER FIRST HORROR WATCH 2023 DOUBLE FEATURE

Violent Night (2022) & Bones and All (2022)

Violent Night

Ok ok ok it took a while to get my Internet to cooperate

Oh shizz that's actually Santa, i thought it was about a thief Maybe??

Omg i been watching the righteous gemstones and she's playing the same character

911?

Love sis hair

Lol amazon packages

The sleigh is cool

Actual coal

Diligent santa presentation

Lol he forgot

You didn't write a letter? Well who's fault is that?

Lol one way radio

I mean not a bad ploy if you know your kid

Mean to ddeer

Okay solid magic

That's right booo skim

Where's the goat milk

I like the leather outfit over what's it usually like .. velour velvet?

The matriarch is good

Luguizamo!

Revlers

KRAMPUS!

Lovely code names

She's got perfect cheekbones and they are making sure we see em

I knew he was asleep

Outfits and everything

Lol damn she just left her kids

Even her favorite granddaughter

Babe u sneaking out use your magic

They shorted him out as a drunk, could have maybe referenced that earlier

Aggressive stitching

Lol they ditched him

Everybody can fight like fa real fa real

Serious icicle oh it's a display

Cookie addict more than drink

Ooo writing maybe not consistent

Omg shit decorative work 🤣

Look at that table

Having trouble with exposition

That's a long way round to implicate U.S. imperialism

Fancy safe good set

The thieves costumes are killing me he really made them get dressed up

Nice gimmick i hope they keep doing it

Russian tat santa okay Celtic tat makes more sense

Kinda annoyed he can't hear her

I choose to blame his magic

This is a creative Christmas kills montage

I know it was going to be that radio but I'm annoyed it's not magic

He's got a scroll database which absolves him from being a peeper

Shove it up the borderline

I forgot they managed to kill the black guy first horror check ✔️

He's kinda perfect weight for this

I just realized they paired him with another kid (stranger things)

The audacity of WOW people have wow

Lol that's her fav whiskey she's rich i have a bottle of that

The parents don't the helpless thing with kids bugs me

Should they be able to access the bag?

Oh 😂 villian sob story

Super campy

Lol he already confessed

Magic tied to belief had three temporary believers

Lol how long did that take, hour long did they expect to get into the safe?

Lol PLOT TWIST

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Damn couldn't just get a job

🤣🤣🤣 wait the kid is actually smart

The mercenaries are head to toe covered up but there are womens voices

That's right ladies equality

The main heist crew also has 1? 2 women?

Respect the home alone references with an absolutely plausible rationale

Great amount of blood

Lol he wants to kill Christmas fa real fa real

Some of the stuff is silly/ lazy for no reason

Cornier ending than i thought v cute

Bones and all (2022)

I didn't know it was a period piece

ANDRE!

Very sapphic

Okay right to erotic cannibalism

I looked down earlier, i thought she got kicked in

Oof

Bailed

Birth certificate?

Whoa! Like your mother did

Oh the other way nm

There's clearly some political era they are referencing but idk

Okay not even 100bucks

Thought there was two

First murder 3 omg

So much andre i love it

What a creeper

Omg it's full fantasy

I just thought she was an emotionally disturbed girl into cannibalism

It's full scale werewolf adjacent

Smell from miles off

Oh vinegar!

Does he have a discoloration too? Under his neck

No kill

The implication sites seem to be it's being on addiction

Aannd there's a serial killer trophies

The camera pan to the photos

Grandpa

That's smart

He can smell

3 then 8

I believed you had to

I watched to see if you looked sad

Hopefully she stole something from the house to sell

Typical boy shit

I hope he's a poser a wannabe but i don't think so

Nope

No one our age is new at this

That's quite young

The implication bring there are hella serial killers

Presumably this is supposed to be attractive and endearing

Another shower

No way she slept with the knife like that

No way he's a buck forty even

Itchy

Sympathy for the cows

No i think his is a scar

These kids are smart

Very romantic

Lol for a cop bit

Damn i wanted the poser to be the kid

What does she care

Creeping out again

The implications of that are clear

The future being a friend to yourself

Bailed

She came back

Day job

Creeper

Down

None of these people carry bleach

Kayla

Oh

Tasteful eating cut aways

Closer to sex addiction than drug addiction

I hate when films end on a cut of better times

Like ok but that's not what you just showed me

It feels like a cop out

I mean it reinforces the continued delusion

#graywatchhorror23 #violent night #bones and all

[aerinamis]

wondering which oc i should give a missile launcher as a weapon

i feel like it should either be someone from dirulaka's world or vira/irisu's. the three candidates i could think of were dirulaka himself, muni, and sorin. now the reasoning for each:

dirulaka - a researcher his world and others, specializing in necromancy. out of the three i proposed, he's the least fitting for the missile launcher. he probably already has a book he can do necromancy with, but i think it'd be funny for him to blow up his enemies only to revive them with necromancy. however, he's already a dragon/goose hybrid AND a scientist, so if he just wants the fire and explosions, he can do that himself. (ok i know that not all scientists work with fire and explosions but i bet he has connections. he has connections to erx actually. erx is an arsonist. i always forget that). i think the reason i wanted to give him a missile launcher is because he'd look cool next to korin, who uses a flamethrower for a weapon

muni - strategist for the chronos containment center. muni's the newest oc atm so i haven't developed them that much yet, other than they have the most compositionally fucked up outfits ever. as a result, they're friends with kanami and i think they've modeled some pieces for her a few times. i don't know how the modelling business works. muni's from vira's world and i was gonna say that he's one of the magicless but no. i forgot i made him specialize in archaic/ancient magic. maybe it can be some dramatic scenario where he discovers he can use magic and then leaves the world out of fear for what might happen if he found out. ohhhhhhh muni and sorin angst woowowowooooo wowoaoowawww. muni could pull off a missile launcher style-wise but a) he has no reason to be fighting as a strategist. maybe for emergencies or him just pulling out the missile launcher for funsies and b) explosions and fire just doesn't fit with their vibe. a splatoon weapon would work much better for them

sorin - ahhh my 6th? 7th? rabbit oc. uh. it went cysai -> koei -> cbgc/tsunoka -> mafumi -> zoiwa -> cobweb -> sorin. also here's like two screenshots from when i was trying to figure out if i made koei or cbgc first

(about koei)

idk how tall sorin would be. i think they'd be average height, near mafumi/zoiwa's range. for reference cobweb is 200 cm tall (willow is 180 cm, third tallest oc after korin who's 194 cm. aeris can be 176 cm and onami/storyteller 174 cm, idk how tall cysai is. 170 cm sounds like a good height). i also forgot cobweb existed for a while. cobweb reminds me a lot of wataru appearance-wise, but i made them a month before i relearnt? remembered? his existence? i probably saw him before back when i had tori as my fave. and that was 2 years ago. oh god oh fuck maybe wataru did visit me in my dreams

ok sorry i need to get back on track. so sorin, my favorite paranoid magicless rabbit. and that's exactly why they should have a missile launcher. i think it'd be a mana-modified weapon so they'd be able to use it as their primary weapon without having to worry about... reloading missiles or anything like that. sorin and cysai look really similar actually. sorin's appearance definitely wasn't based off an old picrew i had of cysai. haha. but speaking of cysai, i had considered giving them explosion magic a while back if they ever had to fight. it'd be funny. but it didn't make sense for them to fight, so i just let them have... multitasking magic. and due to their similarity in appearance i think it'd be a fun callback (for me at least) to burst dps cysai or whatever the heck people call people that use explosion magic. well. sorin becomes part of the dirulaka/korin group eventually (for reasons i will figure out later) and giving sorin the missile launcher allows them to match their vibes while avoiding dirulaka looking dumb since he most likely breathe fire already. they are the arsonist trio that erx wants.

this concludes my essay.

also i just realized that sorin and korin basically have the same name. god damn it. korin needs to be renamed now /j

#marik post #marik ocs #marik rambles #holy hell i didnt expect this to be that long

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 9 “Trapped In The Closet” [Episode List] Following the most blatant sit-com tropes you can think of, Dave decides to spy on his girlfriend, Dana, because he thinks she’s hiding something. Tim reluctantly decides to join his friend, but the two end up stuck in the girl’s closet, which will eventually turn into a gas chamber.

Trapped In The Closet

“Yeah Dana. Sure. No problem.”

Tim was working on some college tasks, but couldn’t help but to eavesdrop Dave’s conversation with his girlfriend, Dana, on the phone. He could only hear his friend’s replies, which being only the 50% of what they were talking about, it didn’t make a lot of sense. Not that he was interested: Dave was simply hanging out in his room because he had nothing better to do during that warm Summer evening, apparently, and so he simply showed up to Tim’s place with a couple of beers and a remarkable amount of procrastination powers.

Despite being relatively hot outside, Dave was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of long, grey levi jeans, kinda loose as usual. Something that Tim hated about his kink is how quickly he checked his friend’s outfit, something that he always did since Dave is now basically his “fart bud”, against all odds.

“Yeah… yeah… I love you. No… I love you more!”

Kinda funny how Dave, 24, would revert back to an awkward teenager at times whenever he and his girlfriend were on the phone. They probably even acted like that on purpose, because love is doing stupid things together after all.

“Tim. Car. Now!”

Dave hung up and turned weirdly serious, got up and walked downstairs, saying something about getting in the car.

“Wait, what?” Tim asked, questioning whether his friend was being serious or not, but he did follow him to wherever he was going.

“We don’t have much time, Tim. Dana will come back soon. She’s out with her own friends and we have… like… 15 minutes.”

The two walked outside and headed towards the girls’ house, actually only a few blocks away from Tim’s. Tim himself reluctantly followed his bro into this, knowing that, at best, it may turn into a funny mishap to tell to their other pals while being drunk and laugh about it.

“I’ll just pretend your words make any sense, like I usually do…” Tim chuckled, sarcastically, but still following his friend.

“I think she’s hiding something.” Dave explained, walking at a fast pace, Tim right behind him. “She’s been strangely elusive lately and I want to check her room for clues.”

Tim just chuckled in response. “Dave, you do realize that this is not a 90s sit-com, right? Her room? Really? What are you hoping to find out, exactly, anyway? That she’s having some kind of affair behind your back?” he asked, trying to reason with him.

“An affair? You think I’m that kind of guy?” Dave answered, looking surprisingly offended by Tim’s question.   “I just want to make sure she’s fine. She seemed worried about something and she’s like this organized haf-woman/half-machine hybrid who keeps sticky notes in her room to keep an eye on her busy life.”

“Oh…” Tim replied, rather sarcastically.   “Now that makes a lot of sense.”

“Leave your sassiness for later, dork. Can we take your car?” Dave asked.

“Why? We’re already right in front of her house…”

Dave realized that he was so worried that they did, in fact, walked for a couple of blocks and found themselves stepping in Dana’s backyard without even noticing. He just laughed a bit about it.

“Sorry. Love makes me blind.” he joked, knowing that it was a rather silly thing to say anyway.

“Not the words I would have used, but ok.” Tim answered.

“Come on, let’s get inside.” his bro said, with a smirk.  

“Alright… but please, let’s keep a low profile and no awkwa-”

But as they approached to the girl’s house, Dave awkwardly started muttering some kind of theme song that was oddly reminiscent of the Mission Impossibile’s most iconic soundtrack. This guy has a girlfriend, everyone.

“So much for keeping a low profile, Ethan Hunt…” Tim joked.

Dana’s room, following the usual   “average american house tropes” that the writer of this story grew up with in the 90s, was on the second floor. Luckily, the house was empty, so both Tim and Dave could easily climb it without fearing of someone noticing their totally legal actions.

“Look at Tim, such a rebel! Such a fast climber!” Dave whispered, noticing how good Tim was at climbing the girl’s house.

“Thanks. I learned it when I visited your mom.” he joked.

“I thought you’d prefer my dad, you know.” Dave played along, with a rather noticeable reference to Tim’s homosexuality.

“Just… just let’s get done with this.”  

After some awkward climbing, the two found themselves in front of a window leading to Dana’s room. The duo was sitting on a small portion of slanted roof, wondering how to get inside.

“Alright. I could just punch through the window and open it. But you know I don’t like violence against windows.” Dave said, somewhat joking, but really trying to come up with a way to get through this final obstacle.

“Never mind, it’s open.” Tim said, as his hand passed right through the window.   “Or, you know, I got ghost powers all of the sudden, but I doubt it.”

“You’re so funny I forgot to laugh.” Dave commented, as he got inside his girlfriend’s room, making sure no one was there, immediately followed by his sassy friend.

The room was fairly big and messy, books and magazines scattered all around the floor and the bed. Dana was a busy woman: she got a degree in economics but, given the tough times, she had troubles finding a decent job lately. Dave actually suspected that this was the reason she was being nervous about, well, everything, understandably.

“Why don’t you just ask her instead of acting like the perfect boyfriend material that you are?” Tim stated, in his usual snarky tone, noticing Dave basically rummaging through Dana’s more personal stuff.

“Just… let me do my thing ok?” he was serious again, trying to find something that could be clue, deep down knowing that all of that was quite non-sense and even ridiculous, but his stubbornness was showing.   “Wait…”

Something drew his attention. A red (therefore important, according to Dana’s code) sticky note on the nightstand. Something was written on it.

“Oh… I guess I was right…” Dave whispered, eyes glued on the note.

“Something about her job?”  

But Tim didn’t get an answer, as they heard someone coming from downstairs. They probably were so focused on their mission that didn’t even notice how someone got inside the house minutes after them. They went silent and tried to listen to the person’s footsteps.

“Yeah. I’ll keep you posted.”

They heard a muffled female voice getting closer, probably talking on her phone. A voice that was very familiar.

“Fuck! It’s Dana!” Dave whispered.

The two looked around, looking for a quick solution or a place to hide, blatantly ignoring the window they used to get inside in the first place.

“The closet!” Dave said.

Without even questioning whether this was a good idea or not, the duo sneaked inside Dana’s closet and closed themselves inside just as the girl came into her room, still talking on the phone about something.

Tim and Dave managed to mess things up however, as they ended up in a very small section of that apparently big, spacious closet, so they had to arrange themselves in a weird position. Dave was standing up, towering over Tim, who found himself sitting on the floor instead, right behind his friend… with his face perfectly aligned with his loose jeans butt. As his eyes got adjusted to the dark, Tim started to distinguish the seams and texture’s on Dave’s jeans ass, and the tiny red Levi tag on the right back pocket. He couldn’t help but take a look, which he felt really unnecessary, given the context.

“So… this is where you lived for most of your life…” Dave joked, looking around, as if the closet was some kind of fancy mansion.

“Haha! Another gay joke! Great timing, Dave!” Tim muttered instead. The last thing they had to do was talk.

The two waited for a couple of minutes, hoping that Dana would just leave again or even just go downstairs, so they’d have enough time to get out of there in the hopes that Dave didn’t leave any clue of his presence.

“As long a we remain silent…” Tim whispered.   “We have nothing to worry about.”

Only moments after saying that, he felt a very familiar sound greeting his face. It was a long, rumbling sound coming from Dave’s denim ass. It was one of his usual, well-known loud farts, a fart that he was desperately trying to keep as silent as possible. Luckily, Dana was too busy with her phone to even notice the weird noise coming from inside of her closet.

“Dave! What the fuck?!” Tim hissed.

The gassy friend tried not to laugh, realizing how idiotic the whole situation was.   “I’m sorry dude.” he murmured.   “You know what happens when I’m nervous!”  

The smell was unbearable already. Being in a such small space didn’t certainly help. Those were probably some of the smelliest farts Dave ever managed to rip in Tim’s face, although this time was, against all odds, more like an accident.

“Tim…” Dave whispered, carefully placing his butt closer to his friend’s face.

Another fart erupted, sounding dangerously louder than the previous one. The rough surface of Dave’s denim gently caressed Tim’s nose. The blast of gas then turned into something much more subtle, but still otherwise bubbly. Tim felt his nose burn, as really he had no choice but to breath all of that in.

“Dave I swear. If you don’t stop, Dana’s gonna–”

But another   “slow-paced” rumbly fart cut him off. Dave was seriously trying to contain his well-known farting abilities. Tim, instead, was trying to remain calm, feeling like the Universe was somehow messing with him. That was an insane situation: he certainly wasn’t new to Dave’s farts, but in that context, it felt almost like one of his weird dreams about his fart fetish.

“Tim I’m sorry, at least I know you don’t mind… I hope”

Funnily enough, despite the slightly amused tone in his whispering voice, Dave sounded genuinely sorry. Yet he was right: Tim was insanely enjoying it, but knowing that Dana was out there made the whole thing almost surreal. And, once again, as much as Dave always proved so chill about this stuff, he couldn’t help but feel somehow awkward about having his friend face-farting him so non-chalantly.

And yet another   “ninja” fart was ripped all over his face.   Being nervous really turned Dave’s stomach into a messy cloud of gas, and Tim’s nose was there to vacuum it all up, completely defenseless, standing before the sheer power of the gassy friend’s powerful denim-covered anus.

Even though the situation was absurd, Dave couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. After all, the smell hit him too, and it was getting insane even for the farter himself, whose gas just didn’t stop building up.

“Sorry bro… I have to do this.” he whispered.

Tim felt Dave’s hands gently grabbing the back of his head, holding it still, as he pulled him in the clutches of his denim butt. The warm fabric of the jeans was soaking in that unbearable smell. The sniffer then felt the weight of his gassy friend almost crushing his skull. Despite being dark, Tim realized that Dave was basically sitting on him, using his head as some kind of human stool.

The fart was directly ripped in Tim’s mouth at that point, that rumbly sound once again renewing the already destructive stench. It was supposed to be loud, so loud, that Dave had to basically use his friend’s face to deadpan its impressive thunderous noise. The gassy bro was trying to rip it in the form of a long series, hoping that Dana would fail to hear (or even recognize) his well-known gross, but rather impressive talent.

Tim heard his friend’s sighs of relief after each, rumbling fart, but Dave was also trying not to burst into a laughter that could blow their cover. Fart fetish or not, he couldn’t help but to find it more hilarious than gross.

As much as the lack of space in that closet wouldn’t really allow it, Dave even lifted his right leg a bit, while still   “sitting” on his stool-friend, as a way to facilitate the impressive amount of gas gushing out from his anus. It’s not like he had to worry about Tim passing out or finding it too gross, anyway.

That fart itself was lasting longer than both of them anticipated. They lost count of how much time passed, probably a full minute. Tim’s face was warm and sweaty now, still trapped in the clutches of his gassy bro’s denim butt, directly living in person that thin line between Fart Heaven and Fart Hell.

A final sigh of relief, followed by a louder toot and a chuckle.   “Sorry, bud.” Dave muttered, hoping that his plan worked.

Indeed, Dana didn’t hear a thing. She hung up and left the room, her footsteps slowly turning into a far, muffled sound, until silence announced that the duo was now free to get the heck out of there, especially considering how they were almost both choking on farts.

Tim forgot what fresh, non-fart air felt like in his nostrils and so took a deep, refreshing breath the moment he stepped out of that gas closet. Ironically, Dave did the same, maybe even wondering how would Tim even endure something as overwhelming as his farts, but he didn’t really mind anyway. Despite everything, that was oddly hilarious, as the two stared at each other and then bursted into a laughter.

“Now let’s get out of here…” the farter suggested.

But before the two could even walk towards the window, Dana showed up again in her own room. She didn’t even startle.

“What are you two doing here?” she asked, sounding more like an inquisitive mom than an angry girlfriend. She was fairly mature, after all. “I don’t know what you Dumb and Dumber are up to, but I swear if you–”

“I heard the news, Dana. We were just outside your window…” Dave explained, slightly tweaking the truth. “We wanted to play a stupid scary prank but then I heard it, while you were on the phone you know…”

Dana shook her head and laughed a bit. She hugged her boyfriend and kissed him.

“Yes! I got the job!” she giggled. “Sorry I’ve been so cold lately. The job interview made me so nervous…”

“It’s fine, Dana. You’ve always been stone-cold anyway!” Dave joked, earning a playful slap on his chest by his girlfriend.

“Yes, that’s a very import–wait what’s that smell?” the girl asked, sniffling loudly the air around him.

Tim’s heart almost stopped while Dave did his best to not just laugh like an immature prankster. His hair, clothes, skin, were completely “soaked” in his gassy bro’s gas, so naturally he’d himself smell like flatulence.

“Never mind. It must be you, Dave. He farts like crazy when he’s nervous, Tim, I swear.” she said, disgusted but slightly amused as well.

“Ow… it’s part of my charm, babe.” Dave replied, using what he would have considered an irresistible flirty tone of voice, which was super awkward instead.

“And yeah. Tim’s very aware of my skills, right?” he joked, winking at him, like the big teasing bastard he’s always been since he found out about his fart kink.

Tim just shrugged, faking a disgusted look, his heart racing fast, knowing that all he had to do after that was take the biggest shower in the hope that such unbearable stench didn’t fuse with the atoms in his body.

“Well, it’s gonna be a wild ride!” Dana exulted, happy about her new job offer.

“How about a round of beers to celebrate?” Tim suggested. “It’s on me, no worries.”

“Great idea, but I’m paying. I got the job, you dumb-dumbs get to drink!” Dana replied. She was in a very good mood.

“It’s fine, Dana! It’s the least we can do after-“ but Dave interrupted him.

“Come on Tim, stop living in outdated gender roles and let the pretty girl buy you a drink.” he said, faking a serious tone.

The girlfriend simply rolled her eyes and left the room “Just… meet me downstairs when you’re done saving the world, ok?”

As Dana was nowhere in sight, Dave simply turned to Tim and let another huge, long one rip.

“Shhh. Just tying up some loose ends here.” he said, shushing the gay friend, blasting what was left of his gas out.

“Are you finish-“ “Not yet” he simply said, as if he was making sure no particle of gas was left behind.

With one high pitched final note that was met with some immature laughter, Dave sighed in relief.

“With that said” he chuckled “You might want to take a shower.”

Tim simply nodded with an unamused expression.

“Oh, and you might want to leave the other closet you’ve been hiding.”

That was out of nowhere.

“No pressure bro, just know that we’re all always more than happy to have a beer with you.”

“Thanks Da-“

“Despite your bigoted views on gender roles of course.”

“I’m going to punch you now.”

The duo then headed downstairs and no one got punched luckily.

Tim thought about his friend’s words and how it was probably time to leave that metaphorical stuffy closet soon or later, not that he felt forced or anything.

Dana’s closet, however, that’s probably the only one he enjoyed being trapped into…

End of Episode 9

#fart story #eproctophilia #fartkink #davefarts2 #gayfart #malefarts

[lochnessies]

ok here’s a dissection of a post an anon sent me the link to and bc i have the worst time management possible and i completely forgot i had it lol so sorry anon here you go ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

I am constantly thinking about how Edelgard just doesn’t seem designed to appeal to cishet men.

i hate to be the one to break this news to you op but just because a character doesn’t show skin like charlotte fire emblem doesn’t mean she isn’t designed to pander to men. she’s very much designed to pander to the (majority straight male) player base with her ‘uwu i only trust you professor omg did u see that rat? pls don’t look at my painting of you uwu’.

then there’s the whole edelgard c support in japanese where byleth makes reference to having come to her room for ‘yobi’ which is

there’s also the scene where byleth can make an unsolicited comment about edelgard’s breast size. which is… uhh… gross.

edelgard also has cipher cards that go from slightly fanserviceie to full on suggestive

and also her breast armor that my sister relentlessly mocked lol

and here’s a chart from the 3h subreddit about gender/sexually in regards to edelgard and edeleth. it’s extremely straight male. op might have just overlooked this since they probably don’t go on reddit and stay on tumblr (which unlike reddit is mostly female and has a high lgbt demographic).

Like the joke is that Bleagles is the Gay House, but everything about her feels deliberately non-hetero.

i don’t like where this is going…

She’s dressed in sharp outfits covering her upper body, with proportions that don’t seem exaggerated.

so women who cover up must be lgbt because straight women are naturally more revealing? oh y i k e s

Her poise and the way she effortlessly flourishes her axe exhibits an air of coolness. While titties out =/= character of no substance, Edelgard being dressed more modestly suggests that she wasn’t designed with male-centred fanservice in mind.

“titties don’t equal no substance but here’s my post on how she has more substance because she doesn’t show titties” ok

And she still looks absolutely stunning in her more modest attire (like seriously, I haven’t felt the need to return to cosplay in years but I want to do her academy look so bad). 

yes she does. amazing design 10/10. i have a feeling this is the only part i’m going to agree with

Edelgard is intense. She does not mince her words and she is constantly evaluating you. Though she tries, she has a difficult time understanding her peers initially. Early on, she talks about how she would sacrifice herself and others in the name of some greater good. She is terrible at communicating with her peers. She has to be seen as infallible. Her heart has been hardened for years and she assumes she has to stay that way. She also assumes everyone mourns the same way she does - which is why she (kind of insensitively) insists you move on when Jeralt dies. Because to her, grief has to be channeled towards action, or else you’ll get lost in it. This attitude is demonstrated time and time again as she presses on. It can make her come off as cold and unfeeling - but look closer, and she’s anything but.

don’t really have anything to say at this part. it is pretty on the nose though i would slightly disagree with that last sentence a bit. i wouldn’t say she’s as i feeling as hubert is but all of her talks of the war boil down to how she feels and never her victims.

Her story is ultimately about her realizing that to achieve her goals, she needs to let people in and allow herself to want things like cakes and tea parties and lazy days in peace. 

????? what ????? her goals include imperialism, ethnic and religious targeting. her story is about having a set of beliefs and mowing down anybody who stands in her way. that has nothing to do with tea, friends, and lazy days. also am i supposed to be sad that she has to get up everyday and work? i do that and i didn’t start a war and only throw a pity party for myself

The game leaves the player guessing as to how involved the Flame Emperor was in each Part I event, makes you feel hurt by her betrayal, and leaves you with a choice: do you follow the orders of the woman who tried to make you a god without your consent, or a young girl with questionable morals about to throw the world into upheaval?

this isn’t an ideal situation but i think i’m going to stick with the woman who tried to make me a god since i’m not selfish and i know it’s not only my desires and life at stake here. plus the green hair slaps ngl

Choosing her of your own volition (not for completionist reasons) requires the basic ability to sympathize with a woman’s pain. It also requires the player to read beyond her unwavering will and dubious methods to get a sense of how deep that pain goes and how the theme of humanity relates to her differently in each route.

i’m not going to touch this since @nilsh13 made a post on it that i’ll link here. i agree with everything he said so to repeat it would be redundant.

The player must be able to see a young woman’s desperate resolve to change the world so it stops exploiting people and ruining lives. They must be able to accept the fact that women can make the same morally wrong and ambivalent decisions that complicated male characters get to make all the time and still be the one to root for.

literally the same reason i love rhea lol her goddess experiments are dubious at best but her reasons are the same you mentioned. i would say that i like this quality in edelgard too if her ending, while bloody, actually ended in a good outcome for fodlan.

This is not unique to LGBT+ people, but this population is likely to understand why Edelgard feels so strongly about why she has to change the system. 

i understand wanting to change a system, i really do. like edelgard, i’m an opinionated bisexual woman (who’s also physically disabled) so yeah i get it. and change can be good but it can also be terrible. even if the church was the boogeyman edelgard treats it as she still replaces it with her own shit regime. so it’s the same circus just with a new conductor.

I don’t think “Edelgard gets undue criticism because she’s a woman” captures the full picture. An important aspect of her treatment by certain parts of the fandom is that she’s a radical woman.

or maybe she does some pretty fucked up shit and it goes unacknowledged in her own route. and yeah she’s radical but in all the worst ways.

Her hatred of the Church and the Crest system resonates way harder with people who have been hurt by institutions that are deeply engrained in our society. 

and what about people who have been hurt by systems where their ‘merit’ didn’t measure up and they were left behind? what about people from nations that experienced imperialism?

Siding with her means siding against the Church - which, while different from real world religious institutions, still invokes language about “sin” and “punishment.

yeah the ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ are used in relation to attempted murders which i think everybody can agree is a bad thing that needs to be condemned.

Choosing Edelgard will likely hit different if homophobic and transphobic Christians used that rhetoric against you.

it has literally nothing to do with ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ in regards to being gay or trans. that’s you projecting. especially since the church has 2 canon gay characters and two coded ones.

like i can understand why having a church condemn you can be uncomfortable but i’m begging you to please look at the context of what’s happening.

I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that the reason F/F Edeleth is the more popular iteration of that ship because most people who would choose to S-support Edelgard are LGBT+ themselves. This is not a revelation. To anyone in the community, it’s fairly obvious. 

i was talking to nilish and he said

so yeah… while there is definitely sapphic femleth shippers out there, there’s still a whole lot of weird fetishizing going on from straight men about edelgard.

Crimson Flower was my first route. I went into the game knowing absolutely nothing. I played it during the last week of 2020 and hoo boy was it cathartic. 

i can tell. this wasn’t supposed to be a dig but it came out that way and i’m not taking it out.

I felt like I was living out a gay revolution power fantasy, where I could truly change systems of oppression while fighting alongside a group of troubled students I’d shaped the lives of.

so a gay revolution power fantasy (cringe) goes hand in hand with imperialism and installing a dictatorship? also the war had nothing to do with sexuality.

Through your unwavering support, Edelgard learns that she needs to be human, that she must listen to her friends, and that she’s allowed to enjoy the world she’s creating.

edelgard gets to learn how to be human all while hunting those who don’t. and she doesn’t listen fo her friends. she doesn’t even trust them. she’s willing to talk to byleth but keep the people who’s been by her side for five years in the dark about everything. and yeah she gets to enjoy her new words since she’s on top. hate to be a commoner under her rule after she burned down my village in her war.

I love this character so much.

clearly. and i honestly don’t care if somebody likes her. i do as well even if my sometimes scathing words can make it seem otherwise.

It has been six months since I first played and I am still analyzing her,

me too. please help me escape i’m losing my mind

because there’s so much depth. Yet so many people fail to see that depth and dismiss her as evil,

i mean, she does some fucked up shit that goes beyond any of the less than desirable actions of the other main characters and does an extremely poor job in trying to make herself seem innocent. i personally don’t think she’s pure evil but i completely understand where the people who say she is are coming from.

because they never had the will to understand complicated women in the first place. 

that’s big talk from somebody who implies that a gay pope is comparable to homophobic and transphobic irl religions and that leads an oppressive regime all because she uses the vague terms of sin and punishments that you have to gay power fantasy your way out of

#i finished this at 1am so sorry if i’m incoherent #mine

[tinisprout]

Juyeon AOTM Analysis

@nyuwings

ok, I'll ramble then lol. So in the aotm spotlight interview/preview video, Juyeon said, "I went through a slump, and I had a hard time then. 'Juyeon you can do it,' I tried to capture myself controlling my mind and going over it in my head to overcome it through this performance." This is actually something I forgot about till like 3/4 of the way through analyzing lmao, but REMEMBER these words I'm gonna bring them up again. I'll be differentiating the three sections of the story/dance with the popping color he used for each outfit.

RED:

The beginning of the video starts off with Juyeon squatting on the ground quite literally in a slumped position. he does a little dance and then the video is gray-scaled, the only color that pops is Red, then Juyeon is dragged off-screen. I believe that is supposed to be us going inside Juyeon's head and seeing what's going on there. With that, the background is turned into a slow pulsating Red and Juyeon is dancing on his own. at this moment he looks like a doll on strings the moves are very robotic like he has no free will of his own. Then the first killing part, (0:40) you should see me in a crown, he lifts his hands up, and then the people in black(PIB) bloom out of him. You can think of the PIB as his thoughts or negative emotions, (I'll be referring to them as thoughts but both kinda work.) anyway, after they bloom out of him the first thing they do is reach for juyeon, holding him back. Then they continue dancing together and before the Red section ends Juyeon squats/slumps on the ground again and the PIB control him like a puppet on strings (1:04). So this entire Red section represents all the thoughts in his mind-controlling what he does.

Yellow:

If you notice throughout the entire Yellow section Juyeon will express a lot of pained/struggling faces, so looks out for the emotions in this section. The Yellow section starts off with juyeon dancing with the PIB again, at 1:18 you can see the moment the PIB stops dancing and turns to walk off screen Juyeon flicks his wrist like he is pulling at a string. This signifies his first step to taking control of himself again. Back to the dancing with the PIB, at 1:28 Juyeon looks like he is struggling with himself, and then one of the PIB turn his body around and he immediately brushes the PIB away with his arm. Then lifting that same arm up he shakes his finger like he is saying, 'no more of this.' He is then alone and falls to his knees like the strings controlling him were cut. He does this sort of shivering movement, like when you're suddenly hit with a cold breeze and you shiver, your body trying to adjust to the environment. After the shiver, he lifts his leg up, moving it and dropping it, showing us how hard it is to move his own body. He gets up and once again like in the Red the PIB comes out of him again, showing that even though he brushed the unwanted thoughts away last time they are still here they always will be. Once all the PIB are out Juyeon slumps over in pain, they disappear and he comes back up still looking hurt, but quickly gets over it. Now that they are gone he lifts his hands in front of him, controlling his legs with the strings, ready to take control of his life. The PIB (his thoughts) come rushing back in, one of them literally tumbling over him, showing how relentless and inescapable these thoughts are. (1:55) The PIB surround him again like at the end of the Red section, reaching their hands out to him wanting to control him, but he doesn't let his happen again instead he picks himself up and then they start dancing together in the same motion. The PIB picks Juyeon up flipping him, and Juyeon continues smoothly after being flipped, walking back in the middle and they continue dancing. This is Juyeon rolling with the punches, no matter what these thoughts, emotions, or voices in his head trying to make him do things, he won't listen and will push forward doing what he wants. (2:19)Juyeon stops dancing, the PIB walks around him while he completely ignores them, and then it's the Solo dance. Compared to the other very short times Juyeon was dancing alone, this time his movement is more fluid, with fewer pauses between each move, this is the most control he has ever had over himself so far. The Yellow section is him fighting for control, pushing forward no matter how hard it is. He is telling himself, 'Juyeon, you can do it.'

White:

Juyeon does a spin kick and we are now on the white section which is the shortest for the performance but shows his growth. Unlike in the Yellow section here, Juyeon does not look like he is in pain anymore instead he looks confident and powerful. This is still a group dance but the difference is that Juyeon used to be so close to the PIB, either slightly in front of them, slightly behind them, or surrounded by them, this time Juyeon is in front of all of them and the PIB are behind him in like a pyramid or arrow shape. Juyeon is at the top and the thoughts are behind him right now he rises above that lol. (2:48) Juyeon then hops back a bit and he is once again closer to the PIB and they take that opportunity to reach out to him again, trying to control him. Juyeon then flips the script, he uses his hand to control the PIB, just like he said her would in the spotlight video, he is controlling the thoughts in his mind. You can see while he is doing this he seems to be struggling again. With Juyeon in the center, the PIB put in their place, they now march to the beat of Juyeon's drums. (2:58) Juyeon then does this shrugging motion and the PIB do the same but instead of staying in the frame, they leave as if they were dismissed. The White section signifies Juyeon taking full control, he is asserting his dominance at the end when he looks down on the camera unafraid. While the thoughts will always be there and come back he knows how to handle them now.

-end-

asdfghjkl this ended up being longer than I thought, but I think I got the message across. there are a few smaller details I wanted to mention but it's already so long and I thought if I did I would go on a tangent and then it wouldn't make sense.

#juyeon #lee juyeon #juyeon tbz #the boyz #tbz #tbz juyeon #the boyz juyeon #juyeon the boyz #juyeon lee #studio choom #artist of the month #artist of the month juyeon

[jungshookz]

ok anyway build-a-bear employee!jin who meets y/n bc she comes in to make a new friend after a breakup and he teases her for being an adult by herself in the store and after she starts tEARING UP he’s like okok no!!!! and helps her make the cutest lil guy and records a cute message to put inside

➺ pairing; kim seokjin x reader

➺ genre; employee!jin, i brought you to build-a-bear so obviously this is going to be very floofy (sfw!!) 

➺ wordcount: 4k

➺ what to expect; “…turning twenty-two soon and you’re buying yourself a teddy bear?”

➺ note; when i told u guys that jin always gets the cutest drabble requests i wasn’t LYING!!! i have my own bear from build-a-bear named blu (he’s dark blue with white stars!! at the age of eight i was not very good at coming up with creative names) so obviously i had to write something for him and his homies

                                         »»————-　🧸————-««

jin has a love-hate relationship with his job

you would think that working at build-a-bear would be pretty fun - and it can be, sometimes! - but jin can confirm right here right now that it’s not aLL that great

on one hand, he loves the dramatics of build-a-bear because he’s given the chance to act like the whole store is whimsical and that the tiny little heart that he stuffs inside of the bear is full of magic and hope and happiness (he majored in acting in university so his degree is surprisingly very useful here)

but on the other hand… he works at build-a-bear.

this isn’t where he thought he’d be!!! not at all!!! 

he’s basically almost thirty and he works at a frickin build-a-bear

this wasn’t part of his plan!!!

his plan was to graduate from university, get famous from acting in a small commercial because of his devilishly handsome face, and then immediately get signed onto some fancy hollywood acting deal and become internationally known

but, no!

he graduated from university, didn’t get any roles in any small commercials, and had to find a way to make money so had no choice but to find work at his local mall

and to make things worse, his boss is literally five years younger than him

he has this bratty little twenty-two year old constantly up his ass and he haTES it

“you forgot the whipped cream on my frappuccino.” jungkook looks up at jin from where he’s sitting behind the counter before raising his drink, “am i blind or are you just bad at listening to instructions? where is the whipped cream, seokjin? WHERE?”

jin clenches his jaw before leaning forward, “they were busy, i guess they just forgot. and i’m not your slave. i only got you that drink so you’d give me a day off tomorrow.”

“well, since there’s no whipped cream on it, you don’t get a day off.” jungkook kisses his teeth before shrugging

“wha-“ jin resists the urge to reach down and wrap his hands around jungkook’s neck, “are you kidding me right now?? i spent forty-five minutes out of my fifty minute lunch break lining up at starbucks to get that for you! forty-five minutes!!!”

“i don’t know what to tell you,” jungkook hums as he kicks his legs up onto the counter and leans back against his chair, “now get back to work. and remember to smile! after all, build-a-bear is where best friends are made-“

“the new slogan is ‘the most fun you’ll ever make’.” jin raises a brow, “you don’t even know our slogan! how did you become the manager?”

jungkook takes a slow sip of his drink while maintaining direct eye contact with jin

sChLuuUuRrRRRr

jesus christ

his life sucks

jin rolls his eyes before turning on his heel and heading back to the main area of the shop

today’s saturday, so the store is a little busier than it usually is - which is great, because jin works off commission and he thinks he’s pretty good at selling teddy bears

on his best day he managed to sell thirty-eight bears in one day

he also convinced most of the kids that their brand new furry friends needed new clothes and a personalised recorded message in place of the usual little red cloth heart

he doesn’t like looking at the parents whenever he’s egging their kids on to buy even more things because they always look at him like they’re going to kill him

anyways

he could’ve ordered like forty frappuccino’s from the money he made on that day

before he left for lunch today he sold eight which really isn’t that impressive

but, to be fair, the mall usually gets busy after lunch, so now is the prime time to make some sales

jin lets out a breath as he scans the store for any newcomers or anyone who’s noT already being bombarded by his co-workers

he can’t help but snicker to himself when he notices yoongi at the stuffing station conducting a heart ceremony

“-and now you can go ahead and give your heart a little kiss-“

he looks up for a split second and jin takes the chance to blows a sweet little kiss at him

he snorts to himself when yoongi’s eye twitches

yoongi hates giving heart ceremonies but he’s actually pretty good at it!

he’s good with children whether he wants to admit it or not

alright, enough making fun of yoongi >:-)

time to hunt down a new customer…

jin sucks his bottom lip into his mouth as he walks around the store slowly

ooh, a little boy and his family just walked i- aaand they’ve been swept up by jimin

okay, no problem!

how about those twin gir- nope, too late, taehyung’s approaching them

damn

that would’ve been a good sale, too

it’s fine

he’ll get someone!

oh, wow

build-a-bear has really upped their game since the last time you were here

to be fair, the last time you were here was like more than ten years ago, so you’d hope that they make some changes to the store

…are those star wars themed teddy bears??

that is most definitely a princess leia teddy bear

and she even gets her own little light sabre!

wow

this is a whole new world

“excuse me, sorry…” you manoeuvre your way through the crowd as you continue looking through your options

is it weird that you’re in here by yourself?

the thought of trailing behind a random child in order to blend in with everyone else crosses your mind for a split second

although… a grown woman creeping behind a child they don’t know probably isn’t going to sound good to the judge when you’re standing in court, so maybe you shouldn’t do that

okay

you know what

it’s fine

it’s totally fine that you’re in here by yourself!

stuffed plushies are for people of all ages!!

it’s not just a kiddie thing

you’re FINE

and you have a perfectly legitimate reason to be in here

the only reason why you’re even in here is because…

well, the short and sweet version is that you got dumped two weeks ago.

which means that you’ve been cooped up in your apartment for the last fourteen days

which means your bedroom was starting to smell a little ripe so you thought it’d be good to air out the place and give your poor bed a break  

(also, please, for the love of god, remember to wash your sheets when you get back home later today.)

anyways

you thought that a trip to the mall for some retail therapy would make you feel better!

so far you’ve only been the food court but you helped yourself to a cheeseburger, some onion rings, and a vanilla milkshake

food always makes you feel better

you could honestly go for another round of onion rings right now

there’s nothing quite like the pain of having your heart broken nudge you towards the direction of binge-eating the pain away, is there?

you were about to head into a victoria’s secret to splurge on pretty panties (that no one but yourself will be seeing for a long time) but this build-a-bear caught your eye

a cuddle buddy you could ugly-cry into for the simple price of $35?

obviOUSLY you had to come in

the only issue now is that there are way too many options to choose from

who do you want to take home??

pawlette the bunny?

toothless from how to train your dragon?

you could even take pikachu home if you wanted to

“timeless teddy…” you mutter to yourself as you dig out a teddy bear skin (also, it’s very unsettling that they’re called ‘skins’. like, you know that’s what they technically are, but the phrase ‘i’ve picked out my skin!’ just makes your skin crawl.)

you lean forward a little to read the label on the wall

teddy bears are a timeless way to share love with every hug! timeless teddy is a classic teddy bear with shaggy brown fur and an adorable smile. personalize this classic teddy bear with outfits, sounds and accessories for a huggable gift they'll cherish forever!

hm

perfect!

a classic teddy bear sounds perfect

there’s nothing wrong with going back to basics

also, you’re assuming the ‘they’ll’ they’re referring to here is a child

…

nO

you are doing this

you will buy this teddy bear!

your other option was to go and adopt a cat from the shelter but you can barely take care of yourself right now so that wouldn’t be a good idea

“hello!” you jump three feet into the air when you’re suddenly being greeted by one of the bright-eyed workers, “can i help you find anything?”

you turn around quickly while clutching your teddy’s skin (gag) to your chest with wide eyes, “h-hello!”

oh

hello indeed

you feel your heart drop a little when you realise that you probably look disgusting right now

you weren’t expecting to bump into a veRY attractive super handsome boy today!!!

very attractive super handsome boy with sweet brown eyes and soft-looking hair and the poutiest lips you think you’ve ever seen in your entire life-

thank god you decided to wear the sweatshirt that doesn’t have any stains on it, right?

the one thing you remember from your previous build a bear experience (once again, 10+ years ago) is that the workers here are usually overly perky sixteen year old girls

this guy is not an overly perky sixteen year old girl

well

maybe he’s the perky part

but everything else??

wowie

he smiles brightly at you before tilting his head, “hello. i’m jin!” he points at his name tag, “i’d love to help you out today. were you looking for anything in particular?”

“hi! hello, jin. i’m, um, i’m y/n. i was, uh-“ you clear your throat, “i was actually just browsing, so…”

“oh, perfect!” jin claps his hands together, “let me tell you all about our collections. there’s the summer fun collection, the rainbow friends, the promise pets, the heartables, the classic build-a-bear collection-“

yeah okay

he’s definitely nailed the perky part of the job

“-DC comics, dr. suess, marvel, my little pony, how to train your drag-“

“you know, i-“ you smile sheepishly after interrupting jin, “thank you so much, but i’ve actually already made my decision, if that’s alright.” you hold your teddy’s limp, hollow carcass up before pressing your lips together

“of course that’s alright!” jin takes the skin from you before shrugging lightly, “i figured i’d just let you know of all the other options in case your younger sibling wanted something more extravagant than just our timeless teddy. follow me to the sound station!”

you don’t get a chance to say anything before jin spins around swiftly to head to the back of the store

he thinks this bear is for your younger sibling

okay, you can work with that!

you can pretend like you’re in here for your non-existent younger sibling and certainly not for yourself

“you can choose a pre-made sound from here,” jin gestures to the bins of plastic hearts (there’s a sound option for an ‘into the unknown’ snippet from frozen 2 which is insane), “or we can go ahead and record a personalised message. what’s your sibling’s name?”

you look up at him immediately

“wha- um, why… why do you need to know my sibling’s name?”

“oh! i was just asking so i could give you an example.” jin hums as he tosses the skin over his shoulder and places his hands on his hips, “like, you could say, hey there… sibling’s name, it’s me, your big sister! i love you! or something like that.”

“ah, right!” you nod to yourself, “that makes sense! my sibling’s name is totally normal information that i have no problem giving to you.”

jin raises a brow when he notices you continuing to ramble about how your sibling’s name is something that you will be telling him soon because you definitely know the name of your younger sibling whomst’ve this bear is for

hm

you’re cute but you’re a little odd

“-my younger sibling’s name is… paulette!” you catch a glimpse of a pink pawlette bunny being stuffed before looking back over at jin, “yep. that’s her name. sweet, sweet paulette. sweet little angel.”

“hey, our iconic bunny is named pawlette!” jin beams, “wouldn’t you want to get paulette her own pawlette? instead of a bear?”

the smile immediately drops from your face

oh god

you’ve never been very good at lying

one time in middle school when you wanted to get out of PE you told the teacher that you were in pain and that’s why you couldn’t do anything on that day

and when he asked you what hurt, all you said was ‘…bleeding out of my butt?’

you don’t even know why you said that!!

you could’ve told him you had a headache or something but nO

you told your teacher your asshole was BLEEDING and that’s why you couldn’t participate in baseball

so yeah

lying has never been your forte

but you don’t want pawlette!!

you want this bear!!!

although, it would make sense to get paulette her own pawlette because that’d be an adorable coincidence…

what are you-

what are you even sAYING

PAULETTE DOES NOT EXIST

“okay, you got me!” you raise your hands in defence and jin’s eyes widen in surprise, “paulette isn’t a real person. i don’t have a younger sibling. i’m in here for me. the bear is for me. the timeless teddy is mine.”

“oh…!” jin purses his lips before nodding slowly, “alright! totally get it. the bear is for you.”

why has everyone he’s ever been attracted to turned out to be a little cuckoo?

the expected demographic of build-a-bear are children aged 3-10 (a child aged below three isn’t interested in stuffed teddies because they don’t really do anything but sit there and a child aged over ten isn’t interested in stuffed teddies because… they don’t really do anything but sit there.)

and you… well, unless you’ve experienced some kind of insane growth spurt, you certainly don’t look like someone aged 3-10 years old

“phew! it feels good getting that off my chest.” you breathe out as you lean over and place your hands on your knees, “there was a lot of pressure there to keep lying to you but-“

“how, um, how old are you, by the way?”

jin doesn’t mean to sound like a judgy bitch

he’s just genuinely curious as to why a 21-23 year old would willingly go into a physical build-a-bear store to buy themselves a stuffed plushie

you could’ve purchased one off the online website

also, aren’t there better things to spend your money on?

like… literally anything besides a stuffed plushie??

“turning twenty-two soon!” you get back up onto your feet, “why do you ask?”

“…turning twenty-two soon and you’re buying yourself a teddy bear?” jin snorts before raising a brow, “i mean, really? didn’t you graduate this year?”

“ah, well…” you reach up to scratch the back of your neck as you feel the tips of your ears beginning to heat up, “i mean, yeah, but like…”

“i’m not judging! some people go on grad trips to party and get wasted after they graduate, and other people go to the mall to build themselves a $35 teddy bear-“ jin laughs to himself before turning around to plop the skin down on little counter attached to the stuffing machine, “anyways, were you thinking about choosing a sound or recording something?”

he spins back around and his eyes widen when he notices that your eyes have gotten red and are starting to water

oh

uh oh

what’s going on?

what’s happening??

are you…

are you crying??

why are you crying??

he was totally kidding!!!

that wasn’t supposed to be mean!!

that was supposed to be playful banter!!!

“oh- oh, god no- wait-“ jin immediately walks over so that he’s standing in front of you and jungkook won’T be able to see that he just upset a customer, “don’t cry!! i was kidding!! i have, like, ten plushies on my bed! i’m twenty-seven and i work at a build-a-bear, if anything, i should be the one crying-”

“i just-“ you reach up to wipe at your eyes as you begin to blubber, “my boyfriend of one year b-broke up with me two weeks ago and i- i just th-thought that a teddy bear would make good company because god knows i’m not in the right mental state to be taking care of a real animal-!”

jin winces when you let out a particularly loud sob and he quickly drags you over so that the two of you are behind the stuffing machine and out of sighT from everyone

crap

he doesn’t even have any tissues on him!!!!

maybe he can pull some fluff out from the machine and you can dab at your tears with that

actually, the cotton might stick to your cheeks if you try wiping your tears away with a fistful of stuffing, so maybe not

“i-i know it’s stupid and humiliating for a grown-up to be in here buying a stupid teddy bear for herself but there’s so much in my life that’s just out of my control right now a-and making this teddy bear seemed like the only thing i could control and i just-“

“y-yes, of course!” jin pulls you into a tight hug (your sobbing is getting a little loud and people are starting to notice so this is the only way he can think to muffle your crying) and strokes the back of your head comfortingly, “i’m so sorry, i had no idea! that makes total sense, of course you can get this teddy bear for yourself…”

he continues to hold you until your sobs reduce to little hiccups and gives a warning look when yoongi mouths whether or not they should call mall security on your ass

when you pull away your eyes are a little puffy and the tip of your nose is red

if jungkook asks, maybe jin can get away with saying that your allergies acted up in the middle of the store

you don’t look like that because he made you burst into tears

not at all!!

“how about we… record a special message for your new friend?” jin digs through the tub to pull out an electronic heart

“i-“ you hiccup, “i don’t really h-have anything i want to say…”

jin purses his lips in thought

hm

stuffing the bear with a heartbeat heart seems way too basic

this is an important bear!

ah!

“why don’t you let me take care of it, okay?” he reaches over and rubs your shoulder gently, “you wait here and i’ll take care of everything. for his stuffing, would you like a soft cuddle bear or a plump one?”

your bottom lip starts to quiver again and you let out a light laugh, “a soft cuddle bear sounds really sweet.”

“then a soft cuddle bear it is.”

“and this is for you.” jin hands you the box over the counter and you take it from him with a grin, “thank you for your purchase! and… sorry about making you cry-“

“oh, god no-“ you snort, “i’m sorry for bursting into tears and loading all of that on you-“

“it’s totally fine!” jin shakes his head, “you’re definitely not the first person to start crying in a build-a-bear, so there’s absolutely nothing to feel bad about.”

“right! right, of course.” you nod and press your lips together, “anyways, thanks for helping me out today, jin.”

“of course! it was a pleasure.” jin clears his throat

it’s pretty clear that the two of you want to continue talking to each other, but…

jin doesn’t usually practice his flirting skills when he’s at build-a-bear, so pardon him for being a little rusty

“so… see you around!” you chirp, “i’m just gonna-“

“wait, uh-“ jin wipes his hands down on the back of his pants, “i… i don’t know if maybe this is a little too soon for you or… and it’s totally fine if you don’t want to, but… maybe i can treat you to an apology corndog or something sometime? i don’t know. this mall doesn’t really offer fine dining, so a corndog is really all i can-“

“yeah, i would love that!” you nod enthusiastically, “an apology corndog with you sounds great. i mean, a regular corndog would be fine too, but- d-do you… want my number?”

also

this isn’t you rebounding or anything

this is the first time in two weeks where your mind hasn’t been clouded with thoughts of your ex-boyfriend

this is the first time in two weeks that you’re actually happy

jin seems genuinely sweet and you wouldn’t mind getting to know him :-))

also you’re glad that hE was the one who asked

because if you were the one who asked, it’d probably make you look that much more pathetic

and you’ve already made a fool of yourself once today!!  

you sigh happily as you slam the car door shut

you’re about to shove the key into the ignition when suddenly you remember that your bear has a personalised message inside of him

“oh, right!” you reach over to open up the cardboard house that he’s been shoVed into

!!!

you wonder what soundbyte jin picked out for you!!!

you pull him out and smile fondly at the sight of his chubby arms dangling over your hands

cute :-))

this was money well spent for sure

okay, now how do you activate the sound…

there’s a bit of squeezing and poking but you manage to find the little heart inside of him

you perk up when you hear a muffled crackle

“hi, y/n! it’s me, your furry friend… uh… jin bear! if you’re listening to this, it probably means you’re super sad… cry into my stomach to muffle the sound of your violent sobs! …oh, god, probably shouldn’t have said that- anyways, um, i hope you feel better soon! and remember to give me plenty of cuddles - i promise it’ll make you feel better!”

hA

that was actually a pretty good message

(you hope jin texts u soon)

“okay, jin bear.” you murmur quietly as you buckle him into the passenger seat, “time to take you home.”

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

requested drabbles masterlist

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[lochrannn]

Warnings: Sexual Content (M Rating)

Characters: Lila Pitts; Diego Hargreeves; Allison Hargreeves; Klaus Hargreeves; Hargreeves Siblings (background)

Relationship: Lila Pitts/Diego Hargreeves

Roommates AU; Fake Marriage; Slow Burn; Mutual Pining; Emotional H/C

Chapter 6/?

-

Lila picks up the letter with the marriage license from the letterbox when she comes home from running some errands only a few days after they applied for it. She recognises that it’s from city hall and hesitates for a moment as it’s addressed to Diego and could honestly be anything, how would she know, but she’s desperately impatient so she decides to open the letter and just give it a cursory look and apologise for snooping through his mail later if it turns out to be something else.

As it is, in fact, the marriage license, Lila gets on the phone right away and books an appointment at the courthouse for a wedding in a week’s time, apparently managing to get a slot that just opened up again earlier in the morning, as the waiting time would otherwise have been a couple more weeks. The clerk at city hall had very kindly explained to them how to go about booking a courthouse wedding and what that would entail, otherwise Lila would have been back at square one again even with the license.

All they need to bring is their necessary documentation and a single witness. Lila really hopes Diego has someone he can ask, because she doesn’t want to get one of her coworkers to come along.

She explains this to Diego when he turns up in the evening and he doesn’t even blink at the fact that she opened the letter addressed to him and then suggests he could ask Klaus to be their witness.

“I can ask my brother to take some pictures as well, so we have them as proof for the visa proceedings.” Diego muses.

“Who, Klaus?” Lila asks a bit confused why Diego wouldn’t just refer to him by name, seeing as she’s already met him.

“No, Ben.” Diego says, a bit distracted, as he reads through the letter that she handed him.

“You have another brother?” Lila asks, surprised.

Diego gives her a blank look for a second, then says, “Uh, I have four brothers…”

“And a sister?” Lila puts together, her voice a little high in disbelief.

“Two sisters, actually… all adopted.” Diego shrugs noncommittally, “I guess we’ll have to go through all of that before the interview process.”

Lila could kick herself, because she forgot to ask him exactly what the interview could possibly entail as she’d not heard of it before Diego mentioned it back at city hall. She’s relatively certain that the image that pops into her head of her pretending to be some kind of nineteen fifties housewife in a hoop skirt and delicate curls, who has to fawn over her breadwinner husband while a government agent takes notes, is probably not exactly what they are in for.

But before she can ask about the interview this time, Diego asks tentatively, “Uhm, have you thought about what you’re gonna wear?”

Lila is sitting on the arm of the couch, Diego standing not too far away from her, very strenuously looking down at the letter in his hand. Lila crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow, but says nothing, and after a moment Diego does look at her and is immediately flustered.

“I’m not— It’s not… It’s just, if we’re taking pictures, we can’t look too shabby, but it’s also just a courthouse wedding, so we can’t look too fancy either.”

“You think I might turn up to my wedding looking shabby?” Lila asks in an even tone, but she tries very hard to give it an edge and tries even harder not to start laughing out loud at the look of panic that makes its way onto Diego’s face.

“That’s not… I didn’t mean…” he stammers, but Lila takes sympathy and interrupts him to say, not unkindly, “I have a dress I can wear.”

“Ok,” Diego says, clearly relieved that she didn’t end up getting annoyed at him again, and a tiny part of Lila is filled with a little bit of guilty regret for making him feel like he can’t say anything to her without the danger of her blowing up at him. He’s doing her a massive favour, apparently despite the fact he seems to think of her as some kind of raging bitch. It’s not like she can entirely blame him, but for some reason that thought really twists something in the pit of her stomach.

Which is odd, because she usually couldn’t give a flying toss about what people think of her.

-

In the end the day somehow arrives much sooner than she expected and Lila finds herself stepping out of her room in a short red cotton dress that hangs a little loosely off the thin straps across her shoulder but is cinched at the waist with a drawstring with a bow, and she’s put on a pair of black high heel sandals.

She hears Diego in the kitchen, so she makes her way over and when she finds him she is hit by the view of Diego in a pair of very nicely fitted grey suit trousers, a matching jacket, and what must be a black t-shirt underneath as he’s pouring himself a cup of coffee. For a second Lila can’t work out if she’s completely underdressed by comparison, or whether Diego is just wearing the heck out of his clothes, but then he notices her and gives her a once over with a strange expression.

“You look… uh… really, uhm, cute,” he says, a bit hesitantly.

“Ah shit,” Lila says, a bit frustrated, “this is way too casual… Hold on, I can take another look in my cupboard…” but Diego interrupts her. “No, Lila, honestly, you look lovely! You’re perf— It’s perfect! Not too flashy, but you look very nice, really!” Diego says in a reassuring tone and despite the fact she doesn’t quite feel like she’s actually struck the balance, she’s finding it hard not to believe him, he does sound awfully sincere.

Diego drives them to the courthouse and Lila is very intrigued by his car. It's classic Chevy and it’s a bit of a banger of a thing, but inside it smells of leather seats and very faintly of Diego’s aftershave, and Lila is weirdly comforted by that, considering her stomach is rolling with nerves. She’s not even sure why. This means nothing, they are doing this so she can get a visa and yet Lila wonders whether she’d honestly be significantly more nervous if this was her real wedding.

On their way they pick up Klaus, who is wearing a sarong and a tie dye crop top and Lila is interested to see that Diego doesn’t comment at all on the outfit, so neither does she. Then they pick up Diego’s other brother, Ben, who’s wearing a leather jacket over a hoodie, Lila can see as he approaches the car. A lot more sensibly dressed than Klaus, but still a little casual for a wedding. Then again, Lila thinks, he’s mostly only there to take the photos, so it doesn’t actually matter.

The first thing Ben does, as he climbs into the car, is make a snide comment at Klaus’s attire and Klaus shoots back with something equally insulting and after a short back and forth Diego interrupts them in annoyance, “Shut the fuck up back there, or I swear, I’m gonna pull someone off the sidewalk to be the witness, and I’m sure we can get the officiant to take a couple of pictures!”

The two brothers in the backseat take that as an invitation to have an argument amongst themselves about the ungratefulness they have to deal with and Diego rolls his eyes at them in the rearview mirror, but Lila catches the fond smile that etches it’s way across his lips and she’s quite certain that she wasn’t meant to see that. She’s glad she did.

She’s also glad that Diego has apparently told his brothers the purpose of their wedding, which means they don’t have to pretend in front of them and only need to start acting like a couple as they are called into the ceremonial office twenty minutes after their actual appointment.

The officiating judge seems harassed and in a hurry and just makes a grabbing motion as they enter. Diego catches on right away. Maybe, Lila muses, he deals with people like this all the time in his job, so he hands over all of their documents that they have compiled in one file.

The judge gives the paperwork a very thorough look, while Lila and Diego stand a little awkwardly in front of her desk.

“Okay, this all seems fine. Can I see the witness’s ID?” she says looking over the rim of her glasses at Ben.

“Oh, that’s me!” chirps Klaus and flounces over to the desk and hands the judge a passport that Lila doesn’t want to think about where he’d been keeping it on his person.

“Alright!” Says the judge and pulls a form out of a tray and starts writing their names on it in what looks, from where Lila can see it, like remarkably tidy cursive.

“Well then, are you, Diego Hargreeves, free lawfully to marry Lila Pitts?” she asks in a very official sounding voice.

Diego, much like Lila herself, must be a bit taken aback at how quickly they got to this part but rallies and says, in an unwavering voice, “I am!”

The judge turns to her and Lila swallows hard as she hears, “Are you, Lila Pitts, free lawfully to marry Diego Hargreeves?”

“I am!” Lila answers without hesitation, maybe she even sounds a bit rushed, but she hasn’t got the time to think about whether that is in any way embarrassing, because the judge just plows on, “Ok, then you sign here and here,” she points at the two gaps and Diego lets Lila go first. Then the judge says quite impatiently, “Witness?” and Klaus hurries over to put down his own name.

“Great! Then, by the power vested in me by the state, I now pronounce you husband and wife!” the judge says, reaching for a stamp and then distractedly adding, “You may kiss the bride.”

Lila watches as Diego’s eyes go wide, and she can’t blame him for that. For some incomprehensible reason she had also not thought about the fact that this might come up.

Diego looks at the judge for a second, but she’s busy sorting out their paperwork, then he looks at Lila and she gives him a half smile and a tiny shrug, because they can hardly just back out of this part now and Ben is just there with his camera at the ready, so Lila feels emboldened by the thought that this is probably really useful evidence for the immigration file, and she’s just about to reach for Diego, as his hand gently lands on the side of her face and in surprise she covers it with her own, and then his lips are softly pressing against her mouth.

She doesn’t even notice that she’s closed her eyes, but for a moment all she can focus on is the warmth of Diego’s hand on her face, the gentle breath that ghost across her cheek as he slowly breaths out of his nose, and the tension in his lips as they move gently against hers. Then he starts pulling away and a deep sense of loss settles into a spot just behind her breast bone just before Diego ever so slightly brushes his lips against hers for one more moment and then he’s gone and Lila almost over balances. She just about manages not to fall forwards and hopes nobody noticed that for a beat she turned into a swooning damsel.

Things turn into a blur then. They are dismissed hastily by the judge and then find themselves outside the courthouse. Klaus has produced a bottle of champagne and some paper cups from somewhere and Ben encourages them to pose for a few pictures in which they are toasting their newly established matrimony.

Lila downs the first cup of champagne she’s handed and immediately asks for a second and Diego gives her a slightly bewildered look, but at this point the day has been too much for her already and she no longer has the energy to feel embarrassed.

“C’mon!” Klaus then says clapping his hands together decisively, “We need to get a few more pictures of the happy couple,” and adds in a loud stage whisper, “for the whole visa things.”

Lila catches a glimpse of how Diego’s jaw tightens in response and when she looks back at Klaus there is decidedly a glint in his eye, and Lila is relatively certain that they are having some kind of unspoken communication literally over the top of her head.

Klaus glides over to stand beside Ben and in the meantime Lila suddenly feels Diego’s arm coming around the back of her and landing on her waist. But his grip is loose and he doesn’t pull her in and she’s unsure of how to go about this herself, so she fusses for a moment before putting her arm around his waist as well and then leaning into him just a bit and putting her other hand against his side.

Apparently encouraged by the fact that she’s not pulled away, Diego’s grip on her tightens and Lila makes the mistake of looking up at him, and their eyes meet and she freezes.

Diego’s eyes are impossibly soft as he’s looking back at her and for a moment Lila wonders whether that means anything. Then she slowly starts panicking as she thinks about whether she wants it to mean anything and just as Diego clears his throat and it almost seems like he wants to say something, Klaus shouts, “Lovely! And now kiss!”

Both Lila and Diego swivel round to look at Klaus but he just gives them an encouraging hand gesture, so they turn back to each other and this time a bit awkwardly press their lips against each other, noses bumping a bit uncomfortably.

It’s not a terrible kiss, Lila has had worse, but it certainly has nowhere near the effect on her that the one in the judge's office did. As she makes a little displeased noise in the back of her throat and Diego pulls away instantly with an expression that looks about as frustrated as she feels, Lila is suddently completely off kilter. In one instant she feels like she might get lost in his eyes and the next they can’t even manage an even slightly romantic kiss despite the fact they have already done so much more together.

Apparently Klaus is also not particularly impressed by their display because he says, irritation in his voice, “Are you kidding me? What was that? Come on you guys, you’re young and hot and… well… not so much unattached, but you know what I mean, you should manage a more passionate kiss than that even if it’s just for the camera! Stop kissing like you would your grandma!”

“Shut the fuck up, Klaus!” Diego growls and Lila can feel him tense next to her, but she’s too busy gaping at Klaus and asks at the same time as Diego speaks, “How the fuck do you kiss your grandma?”

“Never you mind!” Klaus grins at her with a little flick of the hand, “Anyway, we need more passion, right Benny?” he adds, elbowing his brother enthusiastically.

“I’m just the photograoher!” Ben says, raising his hands in defense, one of them still holding his camera, “But yeah that was pretty lame.”

“Fuck you both!” Diego says angrily and Lila definitely shares the sentiment but doesn’t get a chance to voice it, because all of a sudden, she’s vertical, with Diego’s arm firmly behind her back pressing her up against his chest, his other hand at the back of her knee pulling it up against his hip and he is properly kissing her this time.

Almost on autopilot, as her brain has momentarily stopped working, Lila wraps one arm around Diego’s neck, threads her other hand into his hair, and when his tongue runs along the seam of her lips, she opens her mouth and licks into his before he even gets any further. Diego makes a tiny whining noise and Lila automatically presses herself harder against him, even though she’s basically suspended in mid air with only one foot on the ground.

Then there’s a loud whoop from somewhere off to the side and as suddenly as she was tipped backwards, Diego pulls her back upright and then she’s standing unsteadily on her own, already desperately missing the sensation of pressing up against Diego’s warm, solid body and the wet heat of his mouth on hers.

-

It’s become a habit by now.

Diego will go to bed and then lie awake staring up at the ceiling for hours, trying to sort out his thoughts.

But today is particularly bad. It’s past two in the morning and he’s not slept a single minute, despite the fact he didn’t get in that late.

After the ceremony, he invited Lila, Klaus, and Ben out for lunch, mostly to thank his brothers for their help and because his stepmom had taught him how to be at least somewhat classy, so he wasn’t going to marry a girl and then not at least take her out to dinner – or lunch in this case – even if it was a sham wedding. Then he’d driven them all home and as he couldn’t afford to take a full day off, made his way back to his office in a daze.

When he got back in the evening, the apartment was already dark and he couldn’t hear any sounds coming from Lila’s room, so he assumed she’d gone to bed and almost felt guilty at how relieved he was not to bump into her.

Fuck, here he is, lying awake in bed, his wife in the other room—Jesus Christ, his wife!—and he can’t even face her.

But he just can’t work out how to be around her, now.

He has no doubt anymore about the fact that he’s in love with Lila but that realisation has almost made things worse.

For a moment, when he stupidly let himself be goaded into kissing her for the photos, he started imagining that she was kissing him back with the same fervor as he was feeling. It felt so real, he’s not even entirely sure he imagined it, but he worries that he’s just seeing what he wants to see.

He even contemplated telling her about how he feels, but that just wouldn’t be fair, even if a tiny part of him hopes that maybe there is a remote chance that she could at least feel something for him beyond friendship. But it would be so unfair on her if she didn’t reciprocate his feelings. They entered their deal under very specific terms and he can’t just go and make things awkward for her, just because he can’t handle being close to Lila without wanting to pull her in and kiss her senseless. He does wonder, though, if he maybe could talk to her about it once she has her visa, once she has options. She wouldn’t be stuck with him then and wouldn’t have to continue pretending to be in a relationship any longer.

Fuck, this is all so messed up, Diego thinks, angry with himself for not being able to keep his feelings under control better. But who is he kidding, that’s never been his strong suit.

He abandons the idea of getting any sleep, so he rolls out of bed and pulls on a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt and hopes that a run around the neighborhood might tire him out enough that he can maybe catch at least a little bit of sleep.

#otp: just be gentle #lila pitts #diego hargreeves #dielila #diego x lila #diego/lila #tua #the umbrella academy #fanfic #ongoing fic

[puppianqueen]

i made this like days ago but forgot about it on and off until now so yea here she is. funny dog robot

some fun epic gamer facts about her that i probably have but also probably haven’t said before (long post?? maybe):

• she’s not really that like, sentient or whatever. subverting the trope of sentient robots or whatever lol

• Piko made her when she was like... 8 or 9? which ig explains how Catrobot’s a little limited in both design and functionality. look, Mario Artist: Polygon Studio cant do everything can it (i dont know if im keeping that last part as canon but it sounds funny) Piko’s still trying to work on her to this day.

      ◦ unrelated note: Piko is cis but might fuck around and use xe/xem on xyrself at some point

• she has like, GBA/DS audio compression on her voice. have you ever heard 9-Volt in an early WarioWare game yea its like that

      ◦ note: idk if her voice is voice clips of Catro or like Tomodachi Life TTS its probably the latter

• she/her not as in girl but she/her like the way some people refer to their cars/boats as she

• Piko’s trying to work on a hand add-on for Catrobot to give her like actual hands, fuzzy gloves included for definitely no reason whatsoever i promise you

• the actual real life reason why this character exists is bc i was playing Tomodachi Life years ago and saw an antenna accessory and adding/miis based off of hats/outfits in-game that i bought was something i did often. i think Amaru mightve been created for the same reason lol

• her eyes are also LEDs meaning she can change her eye color as shown here

oh right i drew these once

• she’s doing her best ok

#⍟ Catrobot #NTDO Girl

[kaleidescope-writes]

Faithfully Yours-- Chapter 6: Underneath

In partnership with @accio-boys​

Billionaire!Tom Hiddleston x Doctor!Reader

Slow Burn! (Yay)

Warnings: Pre-Covid Activities (Please stay safe out there) taste of fluff, Roller coaster Rides, references to previous chapters, Cliffhanger(permanent warning), Long Chapter!!

Word Count: 3,719

Plz read final Note at the Very Bottom!!

Masterlist

The sound of distant laughter filled the morning air as you made your way down to the kitchen. It was 7am on Friday and you were planning to have an eleven hour shift before taking the weekend off to finally start planning the wedding. You were hoping to get most weekends off to focus on the wedding details. Unless there was an emergency at the hospital, in which case that would be your priority. You descended the stairs, going over today’s itinerary in anticipation. Making your way to the kitchen, the smell of food began to get overwhelming as Tom and Vivie came into your line of sight. “Good morning,” you greeted with a smile. Vivie turned to you and cheerily responded, “Good morning, Auntie Y/N!” Tom gave you a smile and nod before turning back to whatever he was cooking. “So what’s the plan for today?” Vivie asked excitedly as you sat down next to her. “Today, I have a few post-ops to attend to before I consult with another doctor on a surgery plan for a patient that came in recently. Finally, I have a meeting with the board of directors to discuss the finishing on a new policy that will grant Trans patients benefits their insurance doesn’t cover,” you explained. Vivie nodded, closely paying attention to every word you said. 

“What’s a post op?” she asked curiously, giving you the cutest face of confusion ever. “Post op is a short term for Postoperative Care,” you began, “Basically it’s after a patient has surgery, they have to stay in the hospital for a bit to make sure they get better and stay healthy. We monitor them so we can prevent anything bad from happening just in case there are complications after the surgery.” Vivie nodded again, eager to learn every little thing you said about your job. Tom interjects before she could ask another question, “I’m glad you’re interested in Y/N’s job, but I’d prefer you not speak with your mouth full.” He sets down two plates of food, one for each of you. Handing you utensils, he gives you a small smile as you thank him before he goes back to his own unserved plate. He comes back seconds later and sits down in front of you before beginning to enjoy his meal.

There was a momentary silence between the three of you, only filled by the sound of the utensils making contact with the plates. It felt nice. For a brief moment, you were reminded of when you were a child having breakfast with your family. Back before you grew older and things began to get more complicated. Back before all the bad times you spent. It felt welcoming. It felt like this is where you were meant to be. As if this was your new family. You smiled at the thought. 

“Auntie Y/N!” Vivie blurted, “Uncle Tom has something to ask you!” Tom gave her a quick look of horror before composing himself and turning back to you calmly. “It’s nothing really,” he dismissed, “It can wait.” You smirked, donning a tone of mock innocence as you spoke, “It’s ok, you can tell me.” Tom glared at you slightly, to which you returned a simple wink. “Vivie,” he began cautiously, “Go get your bag, I’ll take care of your plate.” Vivie nodded, getting up before she excused herself. You kept eye contact with Tom as you heard her leave the kitchen. Once she was far enough, Tom sighed before opening his mouth to speak. “Given what you told me last night about your brother, I believe it’s time we start selling our relationship more,” he proposed. You gave him a look of confusion and he took it as a sight to continue. “If it isn’t much trouble, I would like to invite you on a first formal date. If you’re not too occupied.” 

Your jaw dropped slightly. Unable to process what he’d just said, you stared at him blankly. Was he kidding? Did he actually think it through before asking? You were completely dumbfounded. “I’ll take your silence as a no, then,” Tom muttered, keeping a neutral expression. “No, no,” you rushed out, “I mean yes, I’d love to!” Tom smirked, catching that word before you did. “Love to?” he repeated questioningly, smugness oozing out of him as he spoke. 

“I didn’t mean that!” you exclaimed, “I just mean I think it’ll be a good idea. Tom nodded, keeping the expression from before. He stood, taking both his and Vivie’s plate over to the kitchen. “Then I’ll pick you up at 8 from the hospital. Wear something comfortable,” he declared. You raised an eyebrow, “I get off work at 8.” 

“I know.” 

~~~~~

“I mean seriously, I understand the whole ‘mama bear’ thing, but when a doctor says it’s just a scratch, chances are it’s just a scratch,” Teigan laughed. You were on your lunch break in the cafeteria, accompanied by some of your close friends from the hospital. This was a relatively common occurrence. “She was just taking care of her kid,” Luke shook his head taking a sip of his carton orange juice. “I’m just saying,” Teigan continued, “I get some kids have overprotective parents. I did too. But there’s a limit between concern and paranoia and she was crossing the limit.” 

The group laughed a bit, each enjoying their respective meal as the conversation died down. The temporary silence was interrupted by your phone ringing, letting you know you had received a text message. Pulling it out of your pocket, you checked the screen to see a message from Tom. It read, “I forgot to mention this before, but you’ll need a coat for our date. I won’t lend you mine.” You rolled your eyes, taking another bite of food as you unlocked it to reply. “Who’s that?” Lucille asked, trying to look over your shoulder to see the message. “No one,” you responded bluntly, typing a message to send to him. Luke squinted, voicing his input. “It has to be someone to make you react like that,” he pried, leaning closer to you just a bit. 

You huffed, “It’s just Mr. Asshole, reminding me of how much more of an asshole he can be.” Luke’s eyes went wide for a moment, a smirk forming on his features. “And what did uh, Mr. Asshole, say?” Teigan asked, a teasing tone lacing her words. You quickly sent the message, knowing damn well where this was going. You tried to put it back in your pocket, failing as Luke yanked it from your grasp. He held it away from you as Lucille kept you in your seat. “Seriously?” you bickered, “You guys are acting like teenagers.” Luke unlocked your phone with ease, already knowing your password. As soon as he found the messages, he read them silently. He turned to you with a look of surprise, gasping before he spoke, “He’s taking you out on a date?” As soon as he said that, both women turned to look at him with the same expressions on their faces. “A date?!” Teigan asked incredulously, dropping her burrito onto the plate. 

“It’s nothing serious,” you disclaimed, “We’re just keeping up appearances so people think this whole marriage thing isn’t a ploy for money.” Luke shook his head, “A date is a date. Doesn’t matter the intention, so long as it’s consensual.” You groaned, slouching in your seat as Luke read the message to your other two companions. “Our girl is finally going on a date!” Lucille teased, nudging you as she spoke. You deadpanned, muttering a response, “You did pay attention to the last part of the text, right?” She ignored you, instead urging Luke to read your response. “She wrote back ‘Ever the gentleman, I see. I have a coat, don't worry. See you tonight.’” Lucille cringed a bit, “Couldn’t you be nicer to your future husband? I mean he’s taking you on a date.” Sighing, you let your head drop slightly, wanting to be somewhere else at the moment. Anywhere else. “Well for one,” you began, “This is something that should have happened before we got engaged. Besides, he said he wasn’t going to give me his coat if I forgot mine, he’s not planning on being nice.” 

“Still, it’s cute that he’s taking you out on a date,” Teigan acknowledges. You groan, reaching for your phone in Luke’s hand. Taking it back, you quickly put it back in your pocket. The group momentarily fell silent, continuing with their meal. “You should wear your ‘night out’ outfit to your date.” Luke spoke suddenly, interrupting the silence. You gave him a disapproving look, shaking your head as you responded, “Nope. We’re not doing this.” He scoffed, “Doing what?”

“You’re not giving me date advice.”

“Why not? You might actually need it!” 

“We already live together, there’s nothing I need to do differently.”

“It would be nice for him to see the relaxed version of you.” Luke concluded, taking a sip of his water bottle. Both Teigan and Lucille nod, eyes fixed on their respective meals. You rolled your eyes, deciding not to say anything as a response. “Don’t be so bitter and closed off on the date,” Teigan suggested. You gave her an indignant look, to which she simply shrugged. “If he’s being a jerk, just remind him that he asked you on the date and you’ve done nothing to warrant it.” Lucille added. “And if he leans in to kiss you, make sure you let him know whether or not you’re ok with it,” Luke finished. You turned to him, unable to muster up a response before your pager went off. 

“Well, I have to go. Have fun in AP Bio, kids,” you bickered, taking your platter with you as you made your way to the trash bin. 

“I really hope the date goes well,” Luke sighed, “She really deserves some love.” 

~~~~~~~~~~

Walking out of the elevator, you made your way out to the lobby. It was seven thirty, marking the end of your shift, and the beginning of your date. The thought alone was enough to make you feel weird about it. You spotted Tom waiting near the entrance, seemingly texting. Walking towards him at a relatively fast pace, you kept your eyes fixed on his presence. “Dr. L/N!” a voice called out from behind you. One of the residents caught up to you, standing in front of you so you would stop. “I know your shift just finished, but I just wanted to ask if I could be on your service for next week. I’m really interested in cardiology and would love to learn from you, if that’s ok?” Albert, a third year resident,  rushed out. You sighed heavily, looking up at Tom to see him now looking at you with intrigued eyes.

“First off, you need to drop the passiveness. Good surgeons take initiative, they don’t passively ask for things,” you explained, “Second, if you want to be on my service, ask the chief resident and submit your hours. If you’re approved, let me know on Monday and not before. Understood?” He shook his head quickly, “Yes ma’am. Thank you so much! I’ll let you know on Monday.” With that, he walked back the way he came, letting you continue to walk to where Tom stood. Once you were a few feet away he let out a laugh. “Who’s the fanboy?” he asked with a laugh. You reached him, rolling your eyes as you responded, “He’s a resident. He wants to be on my service for a week. I don’t want to think about work anymore, let’s go.” Tom smiled, reaching out his hand to you, “Well then, shall we get going?” You took it, realizing this was probably just part of the act. Giving him a nod, you began to lead him through the doors and out into the cold air night. 

He led you to his car, having parked it in the lot right outside the lobby. Once you were close enough to it, he let go of your hand and let you walk up to the passenger door. He unlocked the car and opened the door for you. “Madame,” he said with a polite smile. You shook your head, getting in wordlessly before he closed the door and made his way over to the driver’s side. Tom got in, immediately buckling up and waiting for you to do the same. As soon as you were ready, he started the car and began to pull out of the parking space. 

“So, where are we headed, Mr. I won’t share my coat with my fiance?” you asked in a mocking tone. He chuckled, keeping his eyes on the road. “You’ll see when we get there.”

“An amusement park?” you questioned quizzically. This had to be a joke. He left Vivie with the babysitter so he could take you and you alone to an amusement park? This felt a bit off. “Vivie suggested it. Why, do you not like amusement parks?” Tom asked in a fake hurt tone, placing his hand on his chest. Shaking your head, you turned back to look at him, “It’s not that, I just didn’t expect this from you.” He raised an eyebrow, taking your hand and beginning to walk you to the entrance. “If we are to be married, you should forget this asshole notion you have of me and start believing the fact that I am full of surprises,” he smirked. The two of you walked closer to the large neon signs glowing pink, red, and yellow. They were shaped like moons and had  “Luna” written with lights inside the four crescent moons. You walked through the entrance, taking in all the bright lights that surrounded you. 

“I was thinking we could start with a ride or two. The games are good as well,” he suggested, slowing his pace as he let you pick something to do. “You brought me to Coney Island without a plan of what you want to do first?” you queried, looking up at him in absolute confusion. “Being the gentleman I am, I was allowing you to pick our activities. If you don’t want to, then allow me to introduce you to the things I enjoy about Coney Island,” Tom answered, already leading you to the first activity he had in mind. 

He led you to the first ride on the left, walking into the line to begin the wait. You looked up at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something about tickets or money needed for the ride. He seemed not to notice for a moment, instead looking at the ride cars that passed by. After a minute of not breaking your sight, he turned to you and instantly realized your source of confusion. Wordlessly, he reached into his pocket and took out two cards, handing one to you. “The park has a credit system. I have these from a prior visit. I reloaded them earlier, so you have 41 credits,” he explained, “After this ride, you should have about 34.” You examined the card as he spoke, looking up after he finished to ask him one more question, “What ride is this?” Tom smiled, fixing his posture and extended his free hand to present the ride. “The first ride of the night is the one and only Tickler,” he announced, making you laugh a bit, “I hope you enjoy thrill rides, because it not only goes fast on a rising and falling track, but it will also spin on occasion.” Shaking your head, you pulled him along the line by his hand-- that for some reason was still holding onto you. He hasn’t let go. And you weren’t pulling away either, enjoying the small amount of warmth that radiated from it. 

You approached the front of the line, handing the card to the line operator when you were close enough. He let you both in, directing you to a car. A minute later, you were being strapped into the car, having left your bag in a safe place off to the side. Once you were secure, you looked up at Tom, who was already looking at you with a smirk. “Ready to have fun?” 

The ride ended after a few minutes, and you were a laughing, jittery mess. Grabbing your bag, you began to make your way to the exit. Tom held onto you, making sure you weren’t too dizzy to walk as you made your way to the next activity he had planned. “I didn’t scream the entire time!” you bragged, leaning into him slightly for support. “I’m sure I heard you scream at some point in the ride,” Tom disclaimed, putting his hand on his chin as if he was thinking. You scoffed, “I did not!” 

“Yes you did. I clearly heard a scream coming from right next to me!!”

“It was the other car!” 

“It sounded like you.” 

“How did it sound like me?”

“It was a bit whiny and high pitched,” he teased, looking at you as your laughter calmed a bit. His soft blue eyes reflected the lights around you as your pace slowed a bit. You didn’t say anything, heavily captivated by his mere presence as you suddenly became aware of your proximity. His warmth seemed to surround you completely and you found yourself basking in his smell. He cleared his throat, looking away as he quickened his pace and led you to the next thing he wanted to introduce you to. “So we’ve done the first ride, now we have to do the first game.” He pulled you to one of the game booths, only letting go once you were close enough to the stool to sit down. Looking up at the name, you read “Water Racer.” You each took a place on a stool and handed your cards to the worker. A few more people joined in and you turned to Tom. “Ready to lose?” you smirked, glaring at him slightly. He laughed a bit, quickly responding “Are you?”

The game began, causing water to flow through the water guns. You aimed it at the target as best as you could, only moving it slightly when you laughed. Tom looked over to you, quickly realizing just how well you were doing. “Oh, no!” he laughed, “You won’t win that easily.” He reached over and moved your hand out of place, causing your aim to falter completely. “Stop!” you cried, desperately trying to push his hand away while regaining your aim. You succeeded, but were still far behind now. The other competitors came closer to the top as you slowly regained your pace. Just as you thought you were close to winning, the bell sounded and the worker called out “Winner!” You turned to look at the bars, trying to find the winner, only to realize he was sitting to your left. 

Tom stood from the stool with a proud smile, winking at you as you glared even more. “Seriously?” you rhetorically asked, standing from the stool to meet his eye-- well chest considering the height difference. “Which prize would you like, sir?” the worker asked, resetting the bars as he spoke. Tom looked over at the prizes as you kept your eyes fixed on him. He pointed at one hanging from the tent. You didn’t bother to see which one he picked, instead choosing to keep playfully glaring at him as you spoke, "You pushed my hand, cheater!" He looked at you briefly, then turned back to the man behind the table. "You're right," he confessed, " I cheated. That's why I think it's only fair you have the prize." He took the plush from the worker's hands and gave it to you. 

It was a jaguar plush, made to lie down wherever you placed it. "To commemorate the day we met," he told you, taking a step closer. You didn't know whether to be bothered by it or just smile. It was a cute little detail, but it signified almost getting hit by his car. A Jaguar. Your lips curled into an involuntary smile. You looked up to meet his eyes once more and muttered a ‘thank you.’ “What was that?” he asked teasingly, “I couldn’t quite hear you.” 

Rolling your eyes, you repeated it louder and added ‘asshole’ to the end of it. Satisfied with the gratification, he took your hand again and led you away from the booth. “C’mon, I have more to show you,” he said, keeping you close as you held his hand with your left and the adorable plush with your right. 

~~~

After a few more games and a couple rides, you found yourself switching over to Deno’s Wonder Wheel Park--which was conveniently right next to Luna Park. Tom also had two cards for, ready and loaded with credits. He said that he frequented both parks with Vivie, which explained basically everything. He took you to the Spook-a-Rama attraction, claiming you couldn’t have a date at an amusement park without going into one of the horror attractions-- mild horror, but still. After that, you went on the bumper cars and made several jokes about him being great at crashing into people. To which, he simply warned you to watch where you were going. Multiple times.

After you’d stopped to get a snack and water for  the night, Tom took you to one more ride. “There’s only one way to end a great amusement park date,” he explained, leading you to the line for the Wonder Wheel. As you stood in line, you both joked about all the things that had happened in that single night. It took you about fifteen minutes to get to the front of the line, choosing the one for the stationary cars. You entered the car and sat down, Tom choosing the seat to your right ratchet than the one directly in front of you. The operator closed the door and called the next car. The two of you sat in a comfortable silence, taking in all the bright lights that came from the Ferris wheel. It was nice to have small moments like this. “Oh,” Tom said suddenly, “I meant to tell you this sooner. I have Vivie’s record for you to look at. I’ll give it to you first thing tomorrow before we meet up with your mother.” It took you a moment to process what he’d said, staring blankly for a bit before reacting. “Right, right. Thanks for that. I’ll take a look at them on the way to the wedding planner’s,” you stammered. He smiled, nodding once before looking away again. 

The ride started shortly after the exchange, moving your car up closer to the top. You looked over at the New York Skyline, admiring all the brightly lit buildings that made your eyes sparkle. Tom noticed how they did, gazing into them as you were looking away. “I have to say,” he whispered, “For an uptight, workaholic doctor, you do know how to enjoy yourself.” You snapped out of your trance, fixing your eyes on him. “I have to say,” you repeated with a smile, “For an asshole, you do know how to show a girl a good time.” He mimicked your smile and leaned in closer to you making the car move just a bit. “You know, under any other circumstance, this would be romantic,” he pointed out, a wondering expression gracing his features. You laughed a bit, “This is what you find romantic?”

“What do you find romantic?” he asked as if he was slightly offended. 

“Long walks on the beach, spontaneous gifts, random dates, cute little notes, things like that.”

“Well technically, this is a random date,” he mentioned, “It’s not quite a walk on the beach, but we are near it. The jaguar is a spontaneous gift. All this needs is a cute little note.” You thought for a moment, realizing he had a point. “I guess you’re right,” you admitted. His expression changed again. He gave you that look that you came to despise slightly. That devious look that informed you of a secret plan he had brewing in his head. “So you could say this is romantic?” he asked teasingly. Internally groaning, you quickly became wise to his plan. He won’t let you be until you admitted he was right. “Yes, ok?” you gave in, “You’re right.”

“About what?” he questioned, feigning innocence. You let out  a frustrated sigh, refusing to answer. Tom narrowed his eyes at you, “You know I won’t stop asking until you say it.” You thought for a moment as you weighed your options. It was either give him the satisfaction of telling him he was right or having him bother you until you inevitably did. Tom is a stubborn man, you learned that fairly quickly. Deciding you’d rather have this bickering end here. “Fine,” you muttered, “You’re right. This is romantic.” Tom raised an eyebrow, smirk widening as he spoke, “Is or would be?” 

“Both,” you laughed, desperately wanting it to end. You both fell into silence once again, taking in the view as you enjoyed each other's presence. You felt him shift slightly, choosing to ignore it as you continued to look out into the distance. You barely noticed when his arm went around your shoulders. Freezing for a moment, you processed the situation and considered your options. You could either pull away or lean into it. You considered the situation for a moment, realizing this was probably something you’d have to do often to keep up your charade. You didn’t want to think about that. All you wanted was to embrace this moment for what it is and think about just that. So you did. You leaned into his embrace, wordlessly accepting his actions. The two of you stayed that way until the ride ended.

“And that concludes our date,” Tom announced, walking towards the exit with you close behind. “I had fun,” you smiled as you caught up to him. He returned it, opening his lips to respond to your statement only to be interrupted by a voice calling out nearby. “Mr. Hiddleston! Dr. L/N! Can we have a few words for the press?” A small group of, what you assumed were reporters, began to run up to you. In an instant, Tom took your hand and began pulling you away in the opposite direction. You began to run to the exit on 12th Street, quickly turning towards the beach as you ran. Tom held your hand as you hurried down the street and into the open air of the ocean nearby. You ran as fast as your legs and will could take you, desperately trying to keep up with him. 

Once you reached the boardwalk, the two of you went to hide near the tables. Coming to a complete stop near one of the establishments, you tried to catch your breath, exhausted from the sudden run. Your breaths slowly turned into laughter, causing Tom to give you a look of utter confusion. Slowly, he too began to chuckle a bit at your current situation. You both laughed for a bit longer before it died down. You looked deeply into his eyes, taking in every ounce of unspoken emotion. Tom did the same to you, leaning down ever so slightly. You leaned in closer to him as well, gradually minimizing the space in between the two of you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: It’s finally done!!! This chapter took me so long because I wanted to get the geography layout right. I am not a New Yorker, so I had to do a lot of research regarding both parks and their locations. It took a while. But anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! It’s well over due and I hope the extra work makes up for that!! Show some love for @accio-boys​ for being the mastermind of this chapter and coming up with the idea of a Coney Island date. As always, I love you all, feel free to comment what you think as feedback is appreciated and encouraged!! Stay Safe, Stay Proud, Stay Wonderful, Please be Careful out there, and I hope all is well in your corner of this hectic world. 

Also, I will be posting well overdue chapters from now till Sunday before I start online Classes, so please be patient. Later today I will post Life in Audrilluria Chapter Two and Possibly Winter Mistakes as well. Stay tuned for that!!

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One last thing; I’ve been having troubles with the @’s and some of them aren’t showing up. If you aren’t getting the Tag Notification, please let me know. That way I can message you anytime I upload a chapter. And If I missed you, also let me know as Tumblr has been eating some of the tags. 

And to all my new followers, Welcome to the family😘❤🧡💛💚💙💜

#tom hiddelston x reader #tom hiddelston imagine #tom hiddelson #tom hiddleston #thomas hiddleston #loki fanfic #tom hiddles #thomas william hiddleston #loki fandom #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston x ofc #tom hiddleston x you #character thomas #thomas hiddleston x reader #thomas hiddleston imagine #loki odinson #loki x reader #loki imagine #sorry for taking so long

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Ep33 S4 pt 1: Deus Ex US Military

Been a little distracted but was reminded--yo--I gotta finish S4 of Yugioh this year. I think I can do it. There’s like...what...two episodes left? Three? Like I don’t want to tempt 2020, but like...I think I can finish this thing.

That and a bunch of my Photoshop files corrupted, I don’t know why, I’m very scared for my hard drive, and I need to do a big ol defrag and hope that’s enough. Really hoping this is my bad and not my computer’s bad. I’m pretty hard on this computer when I paint digitally.

and I was immediately gifted by the anime gods because yo, it’s my favorite storyboarder! They're back to carry me through my election burn out, every episode they touch has so much style and no matter how freakin weird or confusing the plot is, this storyboarder/animation team doesn’t seem to care. They will this kids show about cards with this attention to detail. They just have a lot of enthusiasm and that’s a thing about anime that I really like to see. No matter how weird it is, you gotta go 150% without any shame. Love it. Love to see em back.

First off, that earthquake from last episode?

Just a little bigger of an earthquake than I originally thought, coincidentally, this is when Roland shows up, only to realize that he’s like...10 minutes to late.

Well, maybe a little longer than 10 minutes when you consider that Mai freakin died and Yugi almost died, and Joey is absolutely dead and being carried across Tristan’s back.

Anyway, Roland just walked into a whole lot and is just trying to process his life. Roland is all of us in October/November of 2020.

If Roland only knew how many times Seto and Mokuba have totally biffed it when he wasn’t looking.

Like for reals...how is Roland still alive? Like...I don’t think the guy has ever died. Not even once. Maybe that’s Roland’s superpower as the secret FourthKaiba, by just being the only one to stay very far away from the constant BS strewn at this family.

Roland is just...too inept to die. He’s always too far away, he comes after the big bad has already murdered a few people, he’s just...too bad at his job to ever be a target. Live long, Roland. The Kaiba who was the smartest of all by actually being the dumbest.

Also, look at him parking far enough away on the actual helicopter landing pad. He is the only ‘Kaiba’ that follows the law. This could also be the other reason for his secret to longevity.

(read more under the cut)

Faced with a stairwell between their freedom and this weird earthquake chasm that just opened on the top story of this building, Yami decides it’s his job to carry...................

...................Raphael.

(Never forget that we know the exactly weight of Yugi Muto.)

And like Yami is weirdly strong because of magic powers but like...maybe Yami should take Joey and then Tristan should pick up Raphael? I’d say Tea could also pick up Raphael, but I feel like she just wouldn’t want to.

TBQH maybe the reason that Yami is carrying Raphael is because literally no one else feels like it? Like no one likes this guy?

Just kinda feels like Yami is holding onto Raphael out of a sunk-cost fallacy. He’s already done so much work to this guy, can’t lose him now. Gotta save Raphael to make up for killing Gurimo, Weevil, and Yugi. Can’t fail a fourth time.

Anyway, you know what else this storyboarder is good at?

How did they even get reference for drawing this? They didn’t, right? They’re just so good at art that they were like “I can draw ANY person in ANY outfit straight up the crotch, I dare you.”

Seto decides to...not help out, much like virtually all of Yami’s other friends, who also just kinda...yelled and cried at this situation instead of...helping.

Which is fine, because the stairwell gave out and then Raphael decided to uhhhh throw this directly at me.

Just one more yeet for the road. Youknow this guy has yeeted the Pharaoh not once but twice in one season, and both times he just chucked him like he was made out of foam core. (Also, please admire the millennium puzzle in this shot going out at like a 90 degree angle. Just...A+, this storyboarder is hilarious)

At first, I really thought Yami was dabbing his way over that ledge.

In a moody shot with his hair and his jacket swaying in the breeze, almost designed for you to lift and stick into your Youtube AMVs, Seto looked onward and seemed...kind of bored because no one’s throwing any cards. And like who can blame him, he has been on the top of so many ledges and so many buildings that he’s seen Yami make this same speech of “DON’T DO THIS DAMN LEDGE THING I SWEAR TO GODS” like...so many times.

He just immediately accepts Yugi died and is like “Well I guess that makes me king of games.”

And Raphael, after like several minutes of begging Yami to just let him die, decides to let go of that ledge on his own, because this is Yugioh, and you gotta fit in that suicide within the first 10 minutes of the episode. Which, PS, is not the weirdest thing that happened this episode.

And because Roland is freakin late to everything, he showed he could have done this the entire time. Honestly I think Roland just didn’t want to deal with Raphael. We can blame this on Roland, right?

PS we never see this building again in this episode.

I don’t know........why they bothered showing this. If anything it makes the next plot twist more weird because it’s like...what was the point of the random ass earthquake and the random ass concept art building if we, in fact, aren’t coming back here???

I mean I guess it’s a nice shot for your Artstation portfolio, good on you, Yugioh background artist.

Unfortunately this chip contains Seto Kaiba’s greatest weakness. (SanDisk card? Jump drive? Which PS--if they had jump drives this whole time, why was Seto using floppies earlier in the season? Like what happened there?)

And then, with the hatch of their helicopter just wide open, no one in a seat belt, and walking away from the destruction of one of the largest buildings in San Fransisco, finally the cops showed up. Real cops this time, not possessed cops. Also, it’s the Marines.

Am I going to get my Monty Python ending? I mean...if cops can recognize these kids in this universe...I might get my Monty Python ending. :) :) :)

For some reason, back on the mean streets of San Fransisco with no people left alive in it, Rebecca just kinda started losing her mind. Maybe this was to make up for the 2 seasons I had to watch Duke Devlin flirt with a 12 yo? That now we have to suffer Duke saddled with this small crazy person?

This small crazy person who is painted as this intolerable person next to Duke Devlin, but is also a love interest for the main character? Like Yugi’s into some weird ass angry girls.

PS the orcs were no longer needed for the plot so they have turned into streams of light in order to join with the Leviathan mass. So now Rebecca and Duke Devlin will just have literally nothing to do for the rest of the season. I guess they can go to Ghiradelli square...someone’s gotta eat that ice cream before it melts.

Also this happened.

In case you were like “Wow Rach, you didn’t update the Death Count, how dare you”--it’s because I uh...completely forgot that the Oricalchos crew is immune to fall damage. Raphael’s just fine now. He fell down 50 stories...and then 50 stories fell on him...but don’t think about it.

Meanwhile, on the back of some aircraft carrier, far into international waters, the kids get recruited into the military of a foreign country and it’s just as weird as you think it is.

Hey guys.

So, Bandit Keith was weirdly in Hell this season for no reason, right? What if he died offscreen because, earlier in the season, the US military threw him at Dartz because they couldn’t get a hold of Yugi or Kaiba? What about that headcanon? What if that’s why his angry ghost wanted revenge?

Anyway, they join the ranks of Shadow T. Hedgehog, which makes sense because...these guys look like human OC’s of Shadow the hedgehog already.

Sorry I just had a moment because Shadow uses guns a lot despite not needing them at all so “people won’t get uncomfortable with how powerful he is” while in Yugioh they can’t even...show a gun. That really is...you ever think about how weird that is? That Shadow the Hedgehog, a strange remix of a 90′s sega mascot, has a million giant guns but Kaiba’s actual gun (which, apparently he does have in the Japanese version of this show) got edited out completely?

Sometimes it just dawns on me and I have a moment.

Now the US Military just hand delivering them to Dartz is so wild because their reason for the USA not doing anything on their own with their fleets and fleets of ships is:

Have you MET the US? I live here, and if we were like given the choice to shoot the ocean...or just die...we’d be like “wait...for reals? So no one gets hurt, we just shoot guns at the water? You mean we finally found our true calling? For REALS? I just shoot this water bucket!??? FOR REALS????” and it would become a national holiday. All pop songs would be devoted to it. Our ancestors would make movies about it.

I mean, our dumbass president considered nuking a hurricane in 2019...in case you forgot because damn, it’s been a STUPID 4 YEARS. (And you better have voted already because for reals do not make me go through 4 more years of this. I do not think this blog would survive it...or the hurricanes that will keep getting nuked.)

Also....the show actually threw the word “proof” out there. Seriously show? You OK?

I figured the mind control situation would be a better reason not to arrest Dartz other than “Dartz is just so good at covering up his tracks” when the TRACKS have a broken down Caltrain on one side of them, and the other side of the tracks have the rest of that same Caltrain at the bottom of a river.

Seto is not amused but he never is. He will take this Nobel Peace Prize and step up to the microphone at the UN and be like “I WANTED IT TO BE A CARDS PRIZE.”

PS--we HAVE a map already, right? Raphael died to give us this map--and then didn’t die, but it’s not like anyone else here knows that. So like...why did we need the US Military to show up at all? Why is this scene important? Other than to look cool, I guess? Like...

...why is the US military here we already have a Deus Ex Machina delivered by Raphael? At least that one was deserved--the whole point of that duel was to get this MAP.

A map that we are never going to use.

...There’s a good chance that two writers wrote this episode in two different buildings and just...glued the two halves together. Animation is wild. Weird ‘Cinema sins’ things like this happen...all the time. This one though, this one is kind of funny because it’s a ton of wasted effort on the very best storyboarder.

Anyway I broke this up into two segments because I’m tired, and also, while a lot of people like long posts, the smaller posts are kinda easier to read. More will be upcoming in like...I dunno it really depends on a lot of things right, now, I’ve been having a time, but at least Yugioh is always there to enjoy. Maybe I’ll need so much distraction you’ll get an update tomorrow? Good things can happen, and it’s not like I get to do anything else for Halloween.

Happy Halloween Y’all! Lets make the most of it!

(here’s a link to read these in chrono order)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

#ygo #yugioh #recap #photo recap #humor #seto kaiba #yami muto #yami #the military??? #helicopter #roland #mokuba kaiba #tea gardner #tristan taylor #rebecca hawkins #duke devlin #Ep 33 #S4

[jungkooks-left-tiddie]

In Conclusion; it do be like that sometimes.

You can Find the Wattpad version here :)) 

Warnings: Mentions of an arranged marriage, Alcohol use, A nosey man, People constantly misgendering others, Inability to understand personal boundaries.

Words:  4.7k, (An apology for posting this so late)  

Hadi

August 28th, 2020; 3:17 pm

Beirut, Lebanon.

"Golfing? Seriously?" To say that Hadi was having a bad day was the understatement of the century. She overestimated her ability to wake up on time, which then led to her running around the house, trying to finish some pending work, when she got the memo that her father wanted her to join him at an investor's private golf club.

"Yes, and you best hope I see you here in the next 30 minutes," Her father threatened. Hadi shook her head.

"I don't have any choice do I?" She cut the call, tossing her phone on her bed and rummaged through the wardrobe to try and find the right outfit. Pulling out a rather plain beige checkered sweater, she scrunched her nose in disgust. Golf outfits were so incredibly plain; I mean, where was the ✨✨pizzazz✨✨?

"Ugh, boring-ass outfits, no fashion sense at all," She was about to apply her perfume and concealer, but she decided against it. God knows how her father and the other men would react.

Double checking her belongings again, she fed her kitten and played with him for a while. Glancing at her watch again she sighed loudly. Blu-- her kitten-- as if he could sense her reluctance meowed loudly and purred; almost as if he was telling her to not go.

"I know sweetie, I don't want to go either. But I have to," Hadi picked up Blu and put him back in his small bed. "Behave well for me, ok?" Blu just meowed in response.

Hadi grabbed her keys and entered the elevator. She made her way to the building's parking lot and buckled herself up, groaning when her phone-- that was connected to the car's bluetooth-- rang loudly.

"Yes, Hassan?" She sighed audibly. Her day was bad enough already, and she didn't need another person who made it worse.

"My man Hadi!" She winced at the use of the incorrect pronoun. "You still up for drinks tonight?"

"I'm sorry, Hassan. I have to attend to some incomplete work today," Hadi lied. Was she sorry about it? Not at all! Any time away from people was worth lying for.

"Aw! Well, its your loss," She rolled her eyes, "Everyone's going to be there, you sure you don't want to come?"

"I'm sure, Hassan." She cut the call, not particularly in the mood to talk to him for longer.

Hadi was not even 20 minutes into her drive when she got a notification about a meeting she was supposed to attend in a few hours. She was kidding about having to attend a meeting, but since when did things go her way anyways? And usually she would groan at the mere mention of a meeting, but this time, Hadi was actually excited for it. I know, I can't believe it either.

Taking a sharp turn, Hadi saw the isolated roads ahead of her and she suspected that she was nearing the location her father had given her.

"This isn't that far away from home," She noted, pausing for a moment and drove her car to the parking lot. The security, as if knowing who Hadi was, immediately let her in.

Hadi parked in the designated place and went to the reception.

"Hi sir, how may I help you?" The receptionist looked up from her computer screen with a polite smile.

"I was wondering where I could find Mr Kanoo?" The gut feeling of being extremely out of place never left her.

"Oh, Mr Kanoo and his daughter are waiting for you in course number 17," She smiled and gestured the way to the course. Hadi gave her a swift smile and began walking; only to pause suddenly.

"Actually I was wondering if I could you could do me a favour," She walked to the receptionist's desk yet again.

"Of course, sir."

"I know this sounds really odd," Hadi gave a sheepish smile, "But could you get me a locker in the men's dressing room? I have to attend a meeting after this and I have no time to change," She explained, handing out her card for them to swipe. To her surprise the receptionist just smiled and pushed the card back towards him.

"Mr Kanoo will be taking care of all your expenses," She smiled and showed Hadi the way to the locker rooms.

Hadi quickly ran back out, grabbed the suit hanger from her car and hurried towards the direction of the locker room. Twisting the knob to its combination, she gently folded her suit so that it won't catch any wrinkles, put it inside and twisted the knob again.

A quick glance at her watch told her that if she didn't start running, she'd be executed.There was absolutely no way she would make it in one piece if she ran, so she opted for walking briskly instead, following the arrows that made it easier to navigate the huge club.

Hadi sat down on one of the benches, crossing her long legs. She spotted her father, Mr Kanoo and a woman who seemed like his daughter from a distance and frowned.  

'Why's she here?' Usually, Hadi wouldn't worry about petty things like someone's daughter playing golf, but judging by the way Mr Kanoo's daughter was laughing at something that Hadi's father said, she was concerned.

Hadi's father never cracked jokes. Heck, he wasn't even remotely funny. Convinced she was just being paranoid, she consulted the council of wise turtles.

Another quick look at her father told her that he was still in a deep conversation with the other man. So she did what she always does best: Hadi scrolled through her social media to see what was up. 

She quickly switched her phone off when she heard the voices of approaching footsteps and loud laughter.

"Hadi my boy! It's absolutely wonderful to see you again!" Hadi stood up.

"I could say the same thing, mr Kanoo," She gave a curt smile and brought her hand out to shake the older man's, hoping she looked polite enough.

"Sit down, sit down!" Mr Kanoo gestured one of the waiters to come over, "Right, take down the order," He looked at Hadi and her father.

"Any preferences?"

"Yes," Hadi turned towards the waiter, "I'd like a Mai Tai and a grilled lentil panini," Excited at the prospect of proper food, Hadi wondered that maybe coming here wasn't a bad decision after all and only zoned back in when she heard the waiter coming back with his order.

'Damn, good food and fast delivery? I need to come to this place often.' She found herself thinking as she took a bite of her panini, almost moaning at its exquisite taste.  

She drowned out the loud voices of her father and the other man, who now began talking about investments and shares.

"So tell me Hadi," Mr Kanoo turned to him with a devious smile and Hadi knew, that no matter what question she was asked, she had to be careful while answering.

"This new project your father was telling me about," He swirled his glass, "May I know the profit margin that you're expecting?" Hadi sipped her drink.

"I guess father forgot to mention that this was a non-profit project," She avoided her father's glance, "It is meant to provide for children who are in need of food and shelter," Mr Kanoo held a contemplating gaze.

"And say, how do you plan on funding the project in the future?" All of a sudden, all eyes on the table were on her.

"Well," Hadi sipped her drink yet again, "We've set up a trust fund for starters," She set her almost-empty glass down, "And the final details for the project will be discussed today," She smiled at the older man again,

"But it's the generous businessmen like you who really make a difference," A BIG LIE. While Ahmed Kanoo did give away money for charity often, Hadi couldn't really say the same for other businessmen and their companies. She just hoped that Mr Kanoo would buy her compliments and agree to fund this project alongside her.

And once she saw the satisfied look that Mr Kanoo now wore, Hadi finished up the delicious panini and her drink.

"Do we have a deal then?" Her father prompted, setting his glass of scotch down and looking expectantly at Mr Kanoo.

"I believe we do!" They laughed and shook hands, which-- if Hadi's mental guide for corporate body language was right, meant that they had another ulterior move. There was no way in hell that they would laugh if they weren't the closest of friends (in this case, they really were not).

"So Hadi, when are you planning on settling down?" Hadi shifted uncomfortably.

'Well, Fuck. Time to dissolve.' Hadi was ready to yeet herself off a cliff.

"S-settle down..?" Of course Hadi knew what they meant by 'settle down', she just didn't know how to tell them that she was in fact, ✨✨gay✨✨.

"About time, don't you think? The company needs an heir, and judging by your success, I don't think it would be hard to find you a good wife," Hadi gave a polite smile, and laughed lightly, the kind of laugh that oozed discomfort. She stopped laughing after her father gave her a pointed look.

"W-wait you're serious?" Was it too late to run away? This has to be the worst thing her father has done after supplying her mom with his sperm, (which meant she had to be born), and assuming her gender and sexuality.

Hadi's head was spinning. She had no idea what her father and that other dude were planning, but whatever it was, it didn't seem too good.

"Of course daddy's serious," Hadi stiffened at the sudden contact of-- was it an arm?-- with her thigh, "And of course, he was referring to me," Ok, this lady was beginning to get on Hadi's nerves. She was silent the whole time, why open her mouth now? And what exactly did she want from Hadi?

"Excuse me?" The lady continued looking at Hadi in a predatory way, "What exactly do you mean?" She just wanted answers, goddamnit!

"Daddy always got me what I wanted," She drawled, leaning in towards Hadi's stiff body, "And when I told him that I wanted you; well, of course he complied!" The creepy lady whispered in his ear.

To anybody else, it would've looked like they were two best friends who were sharing secrets. And perhaps for that very reason Mr Kanoo and Hadi's father had assumed something else out of a situation that was now excruciating for Hadi to continue pretending that she was ok with.

"We should leave them to talk amongst themselves," Hadi whipped her head and looked at her father with pleading eyes. When it was clear he wasn't going to do anything, she had to take matters into her own hands.

"NO!" The chair on which she was sitting on scraped loudly against the rough asphalt of the ground.

"I mean," Hadi cleared her throat as her father and Mr Kanoo's scrutinising gaze pierced through her, "I have a meeting to attend and I really should get going," She quickly stood up, dusting off the ridiculous sweater she was wearing in the name of golf.

"I hope you don't mind me leaving so suddenly," Hadi smiled and tried to use all the charm she could, hoping that they fall for it.

"Of course, of course!" Mr Kanoo laughed heartily, "You have a company to run, I understand," She shook hands with the older man one more time and briskly walked, (it was more of a run, really), back to the locker room and changed out of her atrocious outfit in record time, from where she made her way to the parking lot again and drove out of this club as fast as the speed limit would let her.

She breathed out out in relief-- a breath she didn't even know she was holding-- as she slowly reached the familiar traffic in the main road. The experience at the golf club was something she never thought she'd live and she vowed never to go back to that place again; which was a shame because the food was amazing.

Hadi sighed, what would she have done if the meeting for discussing the project wasn't scheduled today? She shook her head and dismissed those thoughts. Groaning again, she leaned against the steering wheel when it was evident that this traffic was not going to ease up anytime soon.

This is exactly why she never left home.

It took Hadi almost an hour and a half for her to finally reach her office. If she hadn't left the club at the time she did, she'd probably have missed her meeting.

Hadi entered the lobby, greeting the workers as she made her way to the meeting room. This project was something she needed to do. This was singlehandedly, the most important project that Hadi has worked on, and she wondered if there was something that could top its importance.

"Chairman sir! you're here!" Hadi smiled and took her seat at the far end of the room and picked up one of the files lying on the table.

She read over every detail with outmost precision, being careful not to miss even the tiniest of details.

"I think we should tweak up the decor a bit," Everyone in the room analysed the papers that lay spread on the conference table.

"You know, make it a little more homely," Hadi glanced at the interior designers she'd hired for this project, looking for their approval.

"I suppose we could stray from the whole 'high society' vibe we had going on," At their approval, Hadi breathed a sigh of relief.

The next hour was spent on finalising the interior of the shelter, to make it as welcoming as possible. Every small thing, from the colour of the lights, to the accessibility of the furniture was addressed.

Eventually came the time for the the finance department  to propose a solution for the funding issue; and the CFO, Khalid Yusuf and his team did not disappoint.

"We thought of something like this," He looked at Hadi and brought the plans, "There are lots of investors who've given the go, right?" Hadi nodded and Khalid continued, "So we can make use of the trust fund we set up, and also hold fundraisers and donations," Hadi was smiling now.

"I like that idea. We should hold an event once every 3 months," She nodded to herself, "And it can be something that people enjoy," The Event management team took this as their cue to formulate ideas.

"Sir, I think we could do something different for every fundraiser we hold," A meek voice suggested from the back of the room, going silent when their superior was glaring at them.

"Sorry sir, I told him not to interrupt but--"

"No," Hadi raised her palm to stop the employee from glaring at the poor intern, who now looked terrified.

"Go on," She urged the intern to continue what they were saying. The intern glanced at their superior once again, and Hadi sighed.

"Ignore them and continue," The intern paled and nodded.

"If we could conduct a different event for each fundraiser, it would not only be more fun, but will also increase participation," The intern grew a little more confident at their boss's nod.  

"And increased participation means--"

"--More funds generated." Hadi was impressed. "What do you suggest we do for the first fundraiser then?" The intern looked at her in disbelief.

"Wait you're actually serious?" She frowned, what part of her looked like she was joking?

"Of course I am, why would I joke about this," She looked at the bundle of nerves in front of her. The intern was so happy, his face was almost ready to split in half.  

"Thank you so much sir, I promise I won't disappoint!" To everyone's surprise, the intern-- whose name Hadi later learned was Tyrone Booker-- presented an amazing idea that everyone thought was extremely fun to both plan and partake in, and personally speaking, Hadi couldn't wait until this plan was put in action.

Now the usual drill would be to schedule a meeting sometime in the coming weeks, but seeing as they were already behind schedule, Hadi decided it would be more productive if they stayed and finished the discussion today, so she could not only enjoy her vacation, but also that the preparation for the event itself would have more time and they wouldn't have to rush into anything.

"I know you all are probably tired, but I think we may have to spend the night finagling our plans for the fundraiser," Hadi was quick to notice the annoyance that bubbled in the room, "Let's do one thing," She glanced at her watch, "It's 9:30 now, so let's take a break for an hour, to eat or plan, whatever you want, and we'll get back to our discussion at 10:30. Sound's good?" Everyone agreed, although reluctant, they understood that it was either they spent another 3 hours here today, or they had to rush in with all the plans in the last minute.

The heads of department and their respective teams all went to their own places all over the office building. A few in the library, a few down in the lobby and some even went to the rooftop. But everyone in the building, including Hadi herself, had ordered themselves a hot meal that was coming their way too, and perhaps that was what kept them going.

Hadi pondered how she would use her time. She knew she couldn't waste much just thinking about what to do, so she just caught up with some of her friends on social media.

Hadi only stopped texting when she got her food, some good ol' Spicy Ramen. Just the smell of the Ramen itself was enough to brighten anyone's mood and today, she felt her mood instantly lift up one she had a bite of her food.

I'm forgetting something, aren't I?' Hadi paused the intense inhaling of her food and wondered why she suddenly thought she was forgetting something. She eventually attempted to brush it off thinking that she was just being anxious.

Key word: attempted.

Because no matter how much she tried to convince herself that she wasn't forgetting anything, a small voice in the back of her head kept telling her to remember. But Hadi could not, for the love of her life, remember what it was that she had forgotten to do, when it suddenly hit her like a truck, she promised her friend Meghana that she'd call her father.

Mentally cursing herself, she texted Meghana and asked her if it went too late for her to call Meghana's dad. Luckily she wasn't and she talked to Meghana's father, who-- to Hadi's surprise-- wasn't as bad as she thought he would be.

She answered all of his questions like, 'Will there be alcohol,' 'What all are you planning to do,' 'How long is the trip,' and 'Please don't let Meghana do stupid things.' The last one was more of a request, but Hadi complied nonetheless, there was no way Meghana could do such stupid things, right? Unbeknownst to her, she was actually underestimating how much of a chaos that girl really was.

But Meghana's father ended the call stating that he's willing to send Meghana on the trip, so I guess that was a success? Hadi doubted her socialising skills, but they weren't that bad!

After that whole fiasco, Hadi finished up her dessert for the night, and chatted with her (friends? She really didn't know at this point) for some more time,

Only when the team members started coming back in did Hadi realise that she's been chatting with her friends for almost 45 minutes.

They resumed the meeting with a little more vigour compared to when they left an hour ago, and Hadi was happy to see the progress they'd made in the short time they'd been allotted.

"So I thought that maybe going with a little more laid-back, casual style for the venue would be great, seeing that many of our guests are either going to be businessmen or just normal people out there for a good time," Tyrone explained, turning to face the people in front of him,

"The casual vibe will also help the employees and people have a great time in general, and will also lighten up the environment as opposed to a more professional one," Hadi felt that this particular reasoning was weak, but made no comment on it and instead waited for him to continue.

"A causal theme is also beneficial for our company as it boosts the overall company image and the relationship between the employees. Its also a great networking opportunity for people who're looking forward to socialising, and in fact, I would say that the whole atmosphere promotes creativity and improves motivation,"

"And lastly," Tyrone smiled sheepishly, "Although I feel like this is out of my place to say this, the environment is especially great if you have a lot of pent up stress and you're looking for a way to release it. No offence to anyone here, but some employees could really use the stress relief; and I am not even talking about our main event, I feel like the overall mood is very uplifting," He concluded, looking at Hadi for confirmation.

"I think the casual theme world be a great idea," Hadi deduced, the reason-- although it was presented as a lengthy one-- was very simple. People needed to enjoy what they payed the money for.

"And the main event is also very fitting for this theme, in my opinion." Elissa-- one of the interior designers she'd hired-- remarked.

"I agree, you can't have a bowling alley with a professional theme," Yazra, the head of the Marketing team added.

As the majority of people agreed with the casual theme, they decided that it would be the final theme. It took them another 3 hours to finalise the venue, the food and most importantly, the cost of entry. But finally, they were done!

Hadi was so tired, she could literally fall asleep on the conference table. But unfortunately, she didn't have that privilege. She thanked everyone for their immense help, time and contribution and eventually drove back home.

The streets, to her bad luck were filled with heavy traffic and Hadi was almost ready to cry. This day had already tested her patience and will to live enough; so why on Earth was this day just getting worse at it progressed? She hoped--prayed even-- that Blu did not trash the entire house by the time she got back. She was in no way, mentally (or physically) capable of dealing with his destructive tendencies.

'Finally' Hadi thought as the traffic started to clear out and she could drive back to her apartment and s l e e p. The feel of her bed and the comfort it brought was so close, Hadi could f e e l it in her bones.

15 more minutes. Just 15 more minutes and she'd be in the comfort of her home, with the warmth of her duvet and her smol kitten.

She entered the building with a newfound determination, greeting the security who was on his night-shift, and then made her way to the elevator and went up to the 25th floor; her floor. Technically she was the only habitant of the apartment of that floor, so there really was no harm in calling it 'her' floor.  

Hadi realised just how tired she was after she punched in the passcode to her flat and swiftly made her way inside. She barely had the energy to move, let alone change her clothes, but she managed to gather all the energy she could and changed into her night clothes. A quick check on her cat told her that Blu-- like her-- was getting ready for bedtime, curling his tiny body in the small bed that Hadi got for him; and Hadi was overjoyed to find out that Blu hadn't trashed anything today. She guessed that even the most destructive of animals get tired of breaking stuff every once in a while.

Without any other distractions, Hadi plopped on her bed and drifted to sleep as soon as her face hit the pillow.

And so she slept, without a care in the world, because starting tomorrow, she was on vacation; and this time, she will make sure that she enjoys every single minute of it.

______________

A/N:

So,,,,, uhm,,,,, *shuffles and looks at cue cards* *Ducks under the table because of the rotten tomatoes being thrown*

I know I was supposed to post this earlier but I honestly have no excuses this time,,, I was suddenly hit with writers block and I was trying so hard to finish this piece, but it was so hard because I know literally nothing about the corporate world or how its run for that matter. I managed to evade it in the first chapter but I needed that info this time,,,,

So a big thanks and shoutout to my mom for sitting wit me and explaining business terms and answering my useless questions lmao. I hope you enjoyed this, and also let me take the time to remind you to be nice, and USE THE PREFERRED PRONOUNS OF PEOPLE WHO ASK YOU TO USE THEM. Unless they've told you otherwise,,,,

Anyways, I promise the next chapter will be up sooner than this one,,,

Signing off like always,,

Meg❤️.

#road trip #travel #fandom #atla #harrypotter #Draco malfoy #ceo #multichapter #gay chat #French fries #friendship #zuko #golf #my poor attempts at writing corporate world #meeting #creepy girl #billionaire #gay chaos #bowling #airport #flying #Lots of gay chaos pls help

[jeffhane]

dynasty live watching: an incoherent post so that i’m not spoiling people on the twitter tl (i doubt any of this will be chronological or coherent enough to actually contain spoilers but better safe than sorry!)

oh my god the “previously on” - i forgot abt fallon and evan....

Theyre at a FUNERAL??? this was actually predicted but oh my god. if its steven i am going to be so mad. what an unfitting end to the- WAIT WHAT SIX MONTHS? what was that font;;;;:; whes sueiwjwk

copper arch🥵🥵🥵

this is cute. this is cute i like faloon pretty women so true

BYE I FORGOT ABT THIS VASE

fallon is genuinely such a bad person this is so bizarre,,,, i think she needs to calm down about oiterally everything ever

“This wedding is our chance to break the cycle of craziness” babe ur literally the one making the cycle of craziness

w. was that an ikmenn of liam getting his head off

JEFF MY BELOVED HE LOOKS STUNNING IN THAT OUTFIT. WHYS ALEXIS HERW “POWER COUPLE” YOU WERID MANIPULATIVE PERSON GET AWAY FROM HIM LOL

alexis is up to no good. bad bad jpeg. why do they write her dialogue like this

adam is acted so well lmao he’s the most unhinged person to ever exist *screams*

ohhh dominique, i don’t remember much abt her 😭😭😭 this woman she’s with is beautiful

ITS LAGGING????? i cannot Believe tjis

~rebrand~ ok girlboss!!!!!!!!! can we ship this businesswoman i dont recall her name with fallon???? id like that i think

too many plotlines have happened in too many minutes, i’m already forgettint things that have happened... isn’t blake supposed to be in prisoj? no? Ok: sure

adam is constantly doing this expression that is like 👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁 HI SAM HI SAM HI SAM BEAUTIFUL MAN I LOVE HIM WHOS THIS MAN

raf is so stunning ughhhh i’m loving the costumes this season, everyone looks great! is this man a sam love interest? nervous? that is kinda cute. i miss stevej though. sadness. so many emotions

UHHHH hi alexis sure ig ur here

~OMENS~ babe that’s a tad dramatic don’t you think?????????? “Ignore the lore at your own peril” alright

WHOS THAT? WHOS THAT? OH HER OK

bye everything is going wrong for this......:..:::... *rubs hands together evilly* that will certainly be entertaining

credit scene!!! such a beautiful cast! where’s anders, oh how i miss him... i miss monica too wasn’t she supposed to be BACK🤔🤔🤔🧐🧐🤨🤨

its a commercial break... havent had to watch the show with these for so long😑😑😑. getting american ads is so funny bc the vast majority of them are Not at all relevant... at all

BACK TO DYNASTY!!!!!! was that a slinky? huh? oh ok that’s why the marriage is happening at the manor. #whenyouonlyhaveoneset oh hi ok monica so shes not going to be here?????😑😔😳

WHY IS SHE GETTING A CAR I FEEL LIKE THATS FORESHAWDOIWIJG FOR UMMMMM.... NOT GOOD THINGS ..... ITS LAGGING AGAIN 🤨

blake having dinner... ok hi cristal,,,,; is the priest subplot back? that was a weird one

adam???? how on earth does adam work his way into everything? NEXT GUEST? HUH? are you cheating on your wife? HI CULHANE! HI!

“straight people are exhausting” i mean yes, objectively, absolutely, but culhane is #notstraight .... idk how i feel about sam and this man. also what? huh? staying here? ok cool ig

OHHHHH he got married i see i see

“Haven’t you milked the carrington cow already” but....... she is literally the person who deserves the stuff..... k......... i don’t like dominique but she was given the short end of the stick also blake stop manipulating people just bc they tell u the truth😶😶😶😶😶😶😶

frustrated that we haven’t seen fallon in any non-wedding related stuff yet i always liked her more ~dramatic~ plots . like she’s a sweetheart but i do want her to evolve beyond thsi. idk if that makes sense. ok bye

“A relative’s happy marriage” uh???? we live in a society😔📈

who is father lynch<3333 oh he is in the hospital that’s not great oh adam upset that’s new /s

y is kirby dressed like an elf. god bless.

ughhhh i just think adam is not good for kirby. he’s not good in general. so true . what is he up to. ads again hhhhhhhhhh💯

omg we are back!!!!! blake wear the suit!! hi liz!!! i’ve seen pictures of this outfit, it looks nice. “I really want things to work out with liam” now that would be great but you’re in a soap opera so the chances of that are .... I DONT EVEN ONOW IF U CAN WEATHER ANYTHING W CRISTAL...)))))!$$ NOT NECESSARILY THE BEET CHOICE????

~technically it wasn’t cancelled~ alright love i feel as though you’re not telling the full truth here. ok his name is ryan . we know that now . cool . this relationship is awkward but it could be sweet

what the Fuck is dominique talking about this is so creepy😭😭😭 please do not market lingerie to ur niece 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 why does no one in this show know how to be polite

“You want me to stake my personal assets” i’m sure this would be meaningful if i knew anything about finance????? WAIT WAIT WIAT WAIT WAIT DHE REHEARING THE SAM DONS G THE SONG ALEXIS DONT INTERRUPT HER SINGING THE SONG🧐😔😔😔🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🥰🥰🤬😤😤😤😤😤😤

~duplicitous sham~ that’s quite a juicy phrase ms fallon. alexis i dislike your marriage. and you in fact. yes x . “We were just like any other newlyweds” except the newlywed factor........:

anders. oh my god i adore him so much. he reminds me of my grandfather . YES adam is dangerous. anders i love you so much. be my grandfather figure. top 10 cool old dudes of all time.

liz is so beautiful how am i suppised to “Focus” on the “storyline” kirby just went 🥰🥰 also hi culhane ily babe

“My father’s convinced adam is pure evil” you see, that is......... trueeeee...........:.::: im sorry culhane ily love

this dialogue unfortunately does not flow all that well LOL . people dont think up things like this on the fly “my love is like that boutineer” sir i guarantee that metaphors r not going to save ur relationship... HI sam. so true. hi ily. samhane? culsam? 😳😳

DONT STEAL ANDERS SPOT OH HI JEFF YOU LOOK STUNNING.......... BEAUTIFUL BOY ....... HI!!!! ~you are the only family you’ve ever needed~ shit none of this wouldve happened if the Carringtons werent so greedy ij the first place

~true love has many faces~ how many anti liam omens can they sneak in into the episode 😭😭😭😭 hi laura whats up

the poor waiters at this establishment...... why does laura look like a rlly young version of my grandma........: huh.... wont think abt it /... alexis bad mom.jpeg

“I don’t want to miss my sons special day” ok bye i don’t #care she’s kind of rude

fallon trying to avoid future drama is confusing to me as that used to be her ENTIRE THING? HUH??? everyones talking to their moms today what the heck do that many people talk to their moms???

jeff hiiiii <333 that maroon suit!!!!! love!!!!!

Dont hurt anders you strange little evil man!!!!!!!!!!! (Adam, for reference)

fallon likes to ~e n u n c i a t e~ her dialogue. Drama Teachers Love Her

FIRBY SCENE! WELL THEY R TALKINF! UWU ! UWU ! smiles:) smiiiiiles:) the height difference i cannot do this😑😊😊😊🕯🕯🕯 BYE

BueirHWIIDWJDIWIFJWIFJWJJFWJFJWJDJWJDJWIFJWJFJWJDKWJDJWDJJWHDWHDHWHEHWHDHWJDJWJRJWJEJWJDJQUEUWJEJWJEJW CRIES SOBS SCREAMS THIS OS SO FUCKING FUNNY

Kirby you dumbass😭😭😭😭😭 ALEXIS WUDIWNDJW JEFF CAN YOU NOT HEF FCANKREMTIWN WHY IS THIS DIALOGUE IM SCREAMIGNRJFJD

kirby babe you are the kist imorjri WHQT? HUH? when all the characters have the maturity of a 13 yr old <33333 DID THE SHOW JUST END?????? OK.... DAMN.... they were really 2 minutes away from the end and remembered that things are supposed to happen in tv show episodes.... i cannot tell whether it os over actually?????? huh??? going to keep watching because it would be so embarrassing if i missed a few minutes oh yeah theres more

IM SORRY WHYBARE THESE PEOPLE SO STUPID. every single one of them. ih my god l. ohhhh my god . “I never meant to hurt you” you cheated on him. both of them are bad people. 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 kirby darling what were you thinking . this dress on kirby is STUNNING ugh, she’s so charming . adam Shut the fuck up. He hasn’t said anything but shut the fuck up. OH MY GOD ADAM SHUT THE FUCK UP. OH MY GOD I HATE ADAM SO MUXH. OH MY GOD HOW IS HE THE WORST PERSON TO EVER LIVE 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶 HES SO EVIL

“I didn’t want to tell you because i didnt want you to think of me as a monster” why did you do that stuff then bro . Kirby you SHOULDNT trust someone after they say that? How naive? Huh ?

omg hello jeffs grandma!!!!! she deserves better than every shitshow in this family... god🤨 dominique being a good person? i like to see that. she seems so genuine. ok this is nice . wait... SAFE? 😳😳😳😳 💴 💵 #money i miss monica

why do they never have sufficient lifhting in WAIT..... HER?????? #dumbofass HI JEFF <33333333 HI you can scam and whatever ur allowed to i support u

ooohhhh GORGEOUS fallon outfit

“Such a fail” IS THIS 2012 . CRINE HEIDJWJFIWNDWJDNWKFJW ENJDJSDJWJNDJWJD they keep saying folklore and im thinking its some sort of reference to the album and i get confused. wheres scheming fallon. need scheming fallon. do a scheme. do it

“We are that lucky couple” press x to doubt .... wait who is this🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 this seems cincerning im cocnentwd why did it zoom in on this random man

#how many ads are there you ask? #too many #i never watch things live #this is .... a lot #american cell service is so cheap #cruella de vil ad😭 #how does the cw app work #more ads ig #i dont have the attention span to remember what happened before the ads

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-05-19

Figured an upd8 was coming, it’s felt like enough time has passed for one.

Huh, looking at my last post I’d completely forgotten I was supposed to play through Pesterquest sometime... work is busy and stressing me out a bit, I’m not sure when I’ll have the energy on the side to do that.  (Maybe I’ll livetweet it like I did Undertale a while ago, but this time not looking at my twitter replies so I don’t get spoiled by One Guy™?)

Also, including bonus commentary on A Threat Sensed.

Okay, going in completely blind.  I’d guessed from context that we’re hopping over to Meat side to get a chapter there before we can come back to actually see Yiffy?

Yep.  Okay, what is this about exactly?

(Agh, dammit, I’ve been copying and pasting so much at work remoting into Windows lately that now I’m automatically trying to hit control-C instead of command-C to copy.)

> CHAPTER 9. How Goes The Eulogizing, Dear?

CONTENT NOTE: This chapter contains Child Abuse.

Which one???

Wait

JANE: (Where is he?) JANE: (It's a question I've found myself asking many times in recent days.)

Holy SHIT we get two Candy chapters in a row???  So we might see her right away??  No, it’s gotta just be another tiny glimpse.

(Has two Candy chapters in a row happened before?  Future Boots, scroll back up and put this here. FUTURE BOOTS: “I forgot to scroll back up and put that here.” EDIT: Also, not the first time with two in a row, but it IS the first time with THREE in a row, huh.)

So Jane has to be talking about either Tavros or Dave.  --Oh, if this was a Candy Side chapter title, I guess Rose or Jade is eulogizing Dave for John?

> (==>)

JANE: (Where now is our merry savior?) JANE: (Where is the horn that was honking?) JANE: (Where is the cape and the codpiece, and the...) JANE: (The...) JANE: (Oh, fiddlesticks.)

What?  Is she reading a childrens’ book?  --Oh.  She’s eulogizing Gamzee.  So that gives us a third option, where the rebellion crashes the funeral somehow, probably audiovisually rather than in person.  (Which would make sense, given Candy practically began with Gamzee crashing Dirk’s funeral.)

> (==>)

Ah never mind, she’s still writing it.

That sure is a single button drama-remote that’s going to be pressed at some point.  Oh, and who the fuck keeps a spork in a pen cup???  --No no, don’t say it’s one of those pens with a spork at the eraser end, either ready-made or rubber-banded to the side.  That would make sense.  You totally know it isn’t that and is just a spork.

JANE: (Okay, poetry is out.) JANE: (What else?) JANE: (Hrm...) JANE: (I've always been pretty good at crying on cue.) JANE: (Could I try staging an emotional breakdown?) JANE: (That could work; playing to people's humanity.)

Why were you crying in Jake’s arms about his death if you didn’t care that much?  Did you just want him to hold you and kinda make him feel in on things again?  Or did you just cry yourself out about him?

JANE: (Or whatever is the more inclusive term.)

I bet the rest of Earth C figured out a more inclusive term millenia ago FUCK I accidentally added millennia to my dictionary misspelled instead of correcting it hold on--

...There, killed the entry for it.  ...Huh.  Take a look at my Chrome dictionary’s custom-added words over the years, apparently:

Caliborn Eridan Kanaya Matriorb Meenah Tavros alchemiter dichotomic nephilim reblogged uncaptchalogues uncaptchaloguing

That’s fun.

Okay back to reading. Millennia.  Phew!  Where was I.

JANE: (One really good and calculated weep could do it, I think.) JANE: (But then there's the danger that I might get carried away and do it for real.) JANE: (And I can't risk that.)

So still feeling something, just too used to calculating over the past years.

JANE: (What can I say about him that will stir up their emotions?) JANE: (Do I mention the stuff about the milk?) JANE: (Think Crocker, think.)

WHY would you-- how much did Gamzee normalize adult breastfeeding?!

JAKE: Ahoy over there!

Not the best time.

(The thing with the divorce papers from the Epilogue and John implying he was planning with Jake to execute something that sounds like a divorce... is that going to be sprung here?  Did her lawyers send the divorce papers way back when she was in a fit of pique, and he just had them available to sign now at the tactical moment? Or... let me pull the exact text...)

JOHN: now, harry anderson, i know that you and tavros haven't always gotten along. JOHN: but i am going to have to ask you to try and look out for him for the time being. JOHN: your uncle jake and i... well, i'll explain later. JOHN: let's just say that gamzee isn't the only family member jane is losing today.

(So is John going to submit the papers? Or did they already go through a while ago and default custody to John or something who’s going to adopt him too or some nonsense?  And did he plan this out with Jake NOW, or a while ago, and if only a while ago, is Jake going to KNOW whatever John’s about to pull in that respect is about to happen??)

> (==>)

Butte

Janepalme

> (==>)

JAKE: Er... how goes the eulogizing, dear?

Gah.  I completely forgot again that capitalized-first-letter chapter names don’t mean KANAYA is saying them.  That probably makes a lot more sense out of my wondering about the chapter title earlier to those of you who didn’t realize I was making that mistake.

JANE: It turns out that it's mighty difficult to find touching things to say about a person, the relationship with whom was predicated on deep-seated mutual loathing.

Hah!

--A loathing you regarded as largely more important to you than Jake ever was, by the way.  You asshole.

JANE: I imagine this is one of the reasons no funerary tradition was ever established on Alternia, besides the barbarism of their culture. DIRK: Jesus christ. JANE: Not only did a significant proportion of their interpersonality depend on romance in the form of hatred, but it was a society based on cruelty and violence. JANE: What reason could they have had to provide for the dead? JANE: What kind of last rites could they have even imagined?

I wondered for a moment why (bg!)Dirk of all people would react to a single line of her starting to bring up prejudices, but then I realized that (1) Brain Ghost Dirk is a little more Jakey, and (2) Dirk knew that more ranting would follow the first line.

JANE: I can't think of anything good to write about him because deep down, I hated his guts. JANE: But he was and is beloved of the multitude, so I have to think of something regardless. JAKE: Im not sure i understand. JANE: Don't worry your pretty little head about it. JANE: This is politics, Jakey. JANE: Lying through your two front teeth about people you hate is about as good a definition as it's possible to get. JANE: But, by gum, is it tiring work.

Mm.  It’s a position Jane put herself in, but it’s still a legitimate position once you’re there.

JANE: The funeral is tomorrow, after all.

Got it.

DIRK: Dude, the bowl. JAKE: Hm? JAKE: Oh, right. JANE: What is it now, Jake. JAKE: I brought something for our guest as well. JANE: You mean the prisoner. JAKE: Y...es.

Wait, bowl?

Oh god damnit which of you had the idea to feed her with a DOG BOWL.  Either of you could have thought of it, and either of you would be horrible for it.

> (==>)

Huh, that outfit on Yiffy looks familiar, like a reference to something.  And a black tail?  This definitely isn’t quite the look I was expecting from Jade Plus Rose, but I suppose the snazzy tie is a Roseish vibe.  Also reminiscent of Jade’s old Dead Shuffle dress.  Formal wear and soccer cleats??

JANE: She's over in the corner. JANE: Don't worry, she won't bite. JANE: I've seen to that already.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN.  I don’t see anything over her mouth!  Did she stick something in it, or drug her?  File her fucking teeth???

I mean I did forget the Child Abuse trigger warning to be fair.  Hoping whatever would be on her mouth is just not shown in-panel yet for stylistic reasons.

> (==>)

JAKE: Its only mac and cheese, sorry. JAKE: Its all I know how to make, haha. JAKE: ... JAKE: I um... hope you can safely partake of cheese? JAKE: ... JAKE: Well, JAKE: Bon appetit.

How the fuck did Jake eat on his island then?  --Oh right, preserved food cans that Grandma Jade stored up, I think I remember.  Why would cheese not be a thing for them, if it’s fine for Jade?  I know he’s probably not just worried about lactose intolerance.

Either way, if she’s drugged here, that’ll mean we won’t get a good idea of her for a while, so which is it...

> (==>)

DIRK: Bon appetit. DIRK: Seriously dude? JAKE: (What? Did i pronounce it wrong?) DIRK: Jake. DIRK: You put the food in a fucking dog bowl. JAKE: (It was all there was, ok???) JAKE: (I feel awful enough as it is without you getting on my case about it.)

Ah, missed the bone pun.  AND, yeah, Jake, you’re a fucking idiot, you could have put it in a cup or something.

JAKE: (So far ive yet to see anything come of that brilliant plan of yours.) JAKE: (Are you sure sending that message to the others was enough?)

Okay, so he IS coordinating this slightly.

> (==>)

Horrifying image to contemplate, eh Jane?

Or anger-inducing?

> (==>)

Seems about right!

> (==>)

Oh that’s a GREAT exasperated Jane face.

JANE: I hope you're not expecting dessert, young lady.

I like how Jane didn’t notice, comment on, or care about the bowl.  How can you hate a kid so much??

> (==>)

Oh I know why I felt like I recognized the outfit style, it’s because it’s ANIME AS FUCK.  Feels like some Persona 4 Arena nonsense, and I say that not having played any of those games or even remembering what they looked like.  Also, white hair, black fur’d dog parts?  Nice change of pace.

YIFFY: GRRRRRRRRR... JANE: Oh no you don't.

Red text?  What color exactly... “#D00009”?  Huh.  That’s nowhere near Alt-Callie’s #FF0000, and darker than Dave’s #E00707.  In fact, let me go back and check those spilled color pins the commentary pointed out from an update or two ago...  no, the red pin is #E63225, closer to Dave’s color.  (Also, is Yiffy blocking the doorway out?  That’s a pretty slack chain then.)

Did Jane see to it that she wouldn’t bite with like, a water spray bottle?

(EDIT: Oh my FUCKING GOD, THAT's why it's #D00009...)

> (==>)

FUCK I didn’t notice the shock collar in the Yiffy image!  FUCK YOU, Jane.

> (==>)

Keeping someone in line with collars, especially ones that punish whenever one strays out of line, has always been a decent way for her to mix in some Doomy control of others to show how she’s “grown” to balance her main role and her Tiara-controlled-like inverse for more power.  Doom in part represents boundaries that you can’t cross without getting hurt or punished.

> (==>)

FUCK, those little buck teeth!?  D’:

JANE: That's more like it.

She HAS to have more of a reason for hating her than hating her parents, right?  Like, more than that and general racism applying to partdogfolk?

> (==>)

Hey fuck off with that!

> (==>)

This is a pretty cool ima-- are those piercings on her dog ear?  I didn’t notice that in the first shot, neat.

JANE: You've been a thorn in my side ever since I agreed to enroll you at the academy, little madam. JANE: Back then, I was doing a favor for two old friends who made a disgusting mistake. JANE: I'm no longer going to play nice with you just because of your parents, however. JANE: That truce is over. JANE: Do I make myself understood?

What the fuck?  WHY would you do that?  Why does Jane run "Ms. Paint’s Home for Inconvenient Girls”?  What did Yiffy do to piss her off so much there, how much trouble could she have caused?

I don’t know if she’s referring to the behind-Kanaya’s-back part as disgusting or she’s just being MORE racist.

> (==>)

JANE: We don't want you passing out during the ceremony, do we?

Oh, just showing the hostage off during the clown funeral, huh?  Classy much?

> (==>)

JANE: Now, be a good hostage and get some rest, Yiffany dear. JANE: We've got a big day tomorrow.

For a politician, Jane’s not good at looking at herself in a mirror.

> (==>)

JANE: Night night. JANE: Hoo hoo.

> (Yiffy: Lights out.)

Huh, dream stuff is gonna be relevant out in Candy then? *click*

Okay, dark background all of a sudden.  Properly dramatic?  You even have to highlight the non-link “>” part of the Next link to see it.

> (==>)

-- thespiansGlamor [TG] began pestering adamantGriftress [AG] --

Well, I don’t know WHY it’s happening, but the white-backed pesterlog suddenly on the dark site framing is certainly evocative.  Of like, a mood, or something.

TG: i thought he was pretty quiet down there. TG: we'll make a rebel of him yet! AG: Lol. AG: I think it's more that he can't sleep. AG: I know how he feels. TG: yeah. TG: today was a lot. AG: ... TG: do you wanna talk about it? AG: Ugh, not you as well.

It’s really jarring to transition between Homestuck’s “kids jarringly mentally resistant to freaking out about the end of the world” to HS^2′s more realistic “kids traumatized by their first firefight even though it was an overwhelming victory-escape”.

TG: but seriously, do you? AG: Not really. TG: not even about... you know? TG: her? AG: No. TG: ... are you sure? AG: A8solutely. AG: What are you, my moirail? AG: Just leave it, Harry. TG: ok.

Are they about to have an “I wonder what Yiffy’s like” talk?

> (==>)

Very similar Tav/Vrissy convo to the previous one.

GG: I havent ever shared a bedroom before,,, GG: Not even for a slumber party,,, AG: Tavvy, you are just a8out the saddest person I've ever met.

Well, we have an even better idea how horrible Jane can be with kids, now.  From Nanna to THIS is quite jarring.  I wonder how the double Nannasprites that must still be around here somewhere feel?

> (==>)

TG: nothing about my dad is cute. TG: what are you even saying. AG: Lmao. TG: seriously! TG: i think he has something against that word, even. he gets super weird about it. AG: He's a strange and funny m8n. TG: yeah. TG: ... TG: i think something bad must have happened.

...um.  What?  Why would John have some sort of trauma about the word cute or being called it?

Did John dress up as a hint of his buried June ambitions as a kid and Dad lavish him with “SO CUTE” praise in an epic supportiveness backfire that caused him to shelve the idea of wearing non-masc clothes and being happier on the flipside of gender ever again???  Because if that’s how June gets canonized as promised, it’s a little harsher than the back of my mind was hoping.  I guess it kind of had to be though from the premise of how it was read into his childhood for the original idea, though.  Fuck, I hope this Cute business is about something different from that (like a Terezi reference or such) just to get less John Sads.  (But still June.  Definitely still want to get June.)

> (==>)

Oh, and now Vrissy is doing nothing but talking about what she said she didn’t want to talk about, of course.  (Also I like how JANE’s now being called the Batterwitch.)

AG: And the worst part was they didn't even fight a8out it! AG: That made me madder than 8nything else. AG: It felt like I was the only person who even W8S mad! GG: I dont think thats true,,, AG: What would you know a8out it?! GG: Maybe nothing,,, GG: Sorry,,, GG: Its just,,, GG: To me,,, all the way through the conversation,,, aunt kanaya looked even angrier than you,,, AG: ... AG: Adults are so fucking weird.

Guh, I don’t want to be reminded how hurt a good chunk of the fanbase is by Kanaya getting hurt this badly.

Original Tavros was always SLIGHTLY perceptive of others sometimes, but maybe perceptiveness is being hinted at as a Tavros specialty?  We still don’t know his classpect/hero-title or have any firm guesses based on purely him evidence.  (Also, frightened kids of abusive households tend to learn to get perceptive pretty fucking quickly I hear.)

> (==>)

TG: dad was sitting in the cafeteria with aunt jade and your moms. TG: it looked like they were discussing something important... they were whispering and stuff.

[etc etc] Alright, the what-happened-to-Dave bit.  And I imagine they’re kind of helping John grieve there, since Rose and Jade have talked that out already.

TG: aunt kanaya's was the only face i could see. TG: she was standing next to them, but she wasn't looking at what was going on. TG: almost like she couldn't bear to. AG: I doubt it. Kanaya's got a8out as much Emotivity as a very reclusive stone. TG: ok, i think that is bullshit but whatever. TG: she saw me standing there, but didn't say anything. she just shook her head slightly, and pointed back out into the hallway i came down.

Yep, giving them some space to grieve.  Also-- gosh, shouldn’t Vrissy have the same emotive senses that Aranea implied Vriska shared with her?  Kanaya isn’t that EXPRESSIVE but she’s certainly full of emotion.  Also, I hope part of her not bearing to watch wasn’t lingering anger toward Jade and Rose mixing with that, but there probably was a bit of that too, though Dave being gone is so much harsher than that. --I just realized they might not have broken the news to Karkat yet, either.

AG: I guesadxcxzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz TG: vrissy?

Put to sleep by someone slumping down on your phone keypad, or surprised by something about the other conversation?

Oh shit, “other conversation” reminded me I didn’t look at Tavros’s chumhandle:

glutinousGymnast [GG]

HHHHHhhhhuh.  Hm... huh? hhhh.  huh?  what, but.  Why would.  ?????

I really don’t understand what that chumhandle or any of its entendres should signify in this context.

Also, this means for our new four kids we have TG, GG, AG, and ??.

> (==>)

GG: I think she might have succumbed to sleep quite suddenly,,, GG: It would explain the,,,,,, interesting messages I've been getting for a while,,, TG: hehe. TG: i guess that tracks. TG: she does that from time to time.

That’s... strange.  Homestuck’s taught us to be suspicious of that.

TG: ... TG: tav? GG: Yes,,, harry anderson,,,? TG: what does it feel like to know someone who's died?

Who is Harry referring to? (EDIT: Yes I know Gamzee for Tavros, but I meant Harry talks like he's worried he'll have to feel that way soon?)  Is he just kind of inferring that something bad might have happened to Uncle Dave?  Got that perceptive “parents are about to tell me about a death in the family” vibe?  Or did he overhear more than he let on to Vrissy?

...alright, that’s the last page of this update.  Looks like this chapter is going to continue to have a good bunch of grieving, or talk around it.

---

Now for Bonus Commentary for A Threat, Sensed.  For some reason I have a dim memory of like... reading this myself without commenting on it?  Or skimming it?  But I’m pretty sure I didn’t do that.  Weird.  Must have imagined doing it.

Ah, I think I saw the opening paragraph scrolling Patreon, and my mind kinda filled in the blanks, this is still looking new to me.

Okay, mostly banter and japes in the commentary here.  About Dirk “throwing a huge tantrum in his philosophy cave”.

We’ve had quite a bit of speculation on whether this is “really” Andrew. To that, I think we’d say that it doesn’t “really” matter.

Really?  That was speculated about?  :/

Here we discover that Dirk has not, as some people have speculated, been directly intervening into the Candy timeline, or influencing it in any way. In fact, he has a very hard time seeing anything going on there at all.

Mhmm, and that was a pretty important thing to learn.

A couple of years ago I might have agreed with the take that everything happening in Candy is simply too outlandish to ever happen naturally, without direct, villainous interference, but that was before literally every fucking batshit insane thing that has happened on Real Life Earth started going down, and now I will believe literally anything. 

This is a nice bit of distraction from the idea that at least the opening parts of the Candy story were written/narrated by Original, Alive Calliope over on meat side.  To refresh your memory of what was pointed out to me:

ROXY: back when jade first got all effed up callie saw somethin and it made them freak out ROXY: it took me weeks to convince them that it was safe to come home ROXY: but now we got the opposite problem and they arent leavin the house at all ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls TEREZI: WH4T? ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise ROXY: some of it is like ROXY: weird and violent?? ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um ROXY: nudity???? TEREZI: >:? ROXY: yeah yikes ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

Which tracks with the initial out-of-character-seemingness of almost everyone at the start of Candy, and how they kind of tried to railroad things back onto the “Happy??” track after Dirk derailed it with his weird self-accumulation suicide, along with some of the flowery-idyllic descriptions of characters seeing each other bathed in a halo of light and such.

Of course, they’re not going to out-and-out STATE that Calliope was at fault for that narration, helping the Candy story not necessarily fall out the way it did “naturally”, until we finally get a glimpse of her on the heroes’ ship in Meat probably still painting the continuing Candy events, inspiring them into the void of the singularity with her latent powers.  Til then, it’s a bit of misdirection whenever the topic is to be brought up.  Along with a mix of Roxy’s late-Candy point to John of more or less “why COULDN’T we have done this naturally? you don’t know”.

He might even think that he has more direct power over the narrative than Hussie does himself. Surprise, motherfucker, you are a fictional character. 

:p

I’ll quote this next part in full:

There’s been talk of whether or not this bonus was written in the two days between its release and the Yiffy reveal chapter. The answer is--no. It was written over a month ago. But I think the things it addresses were not difficult to suss out. Obviously, Dirk is highlighting the issues that the readership are having with Yiffy, in his typical Dirk fashion. If it seems a little defensive, well...I suppose it is. Yiffy is one of the two hard lines drawn in the sand, and all of us love her, and we’re hoping that everyone else will love her too. But more than that, it focuses on the fact that update culture has a rhythm to it--shock, revulsion, acceptance (or not), and then excitement (or not). Will it follow that pattern this time? Who knows. I guess we’ll find out. 

Yeah, given what was going to be dropped on us I expected they would have had exactly this lined up, especially because Andrew specifically mandated Yiffy.  --I wonder why they aren’t mentioning that somewhere in the commentary and only on one of their Twitters?

Also quoting this:

There’s something both incredibly “cringe” and self-indulgent, as well as philosophically intriguing, about the author arguing with his villain, especially since he’s writing both halves of the conversation himself. You are, for all intents and purposes, trying to solve a problem that you have created for yourself. You are looking an aspect of your personality in the eye and asking, hey, what the fuck, man?

But in the end, isn’t that what every story is? Trying to untie knots that you put in the rope yourself?

Since it’s part of the central struggle of this story, and kind of the question Andrew’s tried to imply with every Homestuck work about what right we have to keep these characters trapped in a story, and if they’d be better off escaping it.

I’m really trying to avoid quoting so much of this, since the commentary is paid...  but I think we can make an exception here?  I’ll have only quoted about half of it; just, the really plot-important half.  Plus, I left out a LOOOT of japes.

Dirk has a certain idea of how stories are supposed to go. That’s pretty much what the Epilogues is about. The audience also has a certain expectation of how a story is supposed to go. In a way, the Epilogues were also about that. They were taking a story that had reached the traditionally “acceptable” happily ever after, and saying, wait, no. What happens next? Thinking past happily ever after in any story is a terrifying prospect. Once Cinderella marries the prince, what then? Sure, she got what she wanted, but who knows that it will be everything she dreamt it would? What if she changes her mind, if not today, what about ten years from now? What if the prince dies of malaria? 

And I’m...

Yeah I don’t have anything else to add here, I’m kind of out of brain juice to think about this tonight.  BUSY day I had.  Y’all take care!

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