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ladystrallan · 1 year

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Once Upon a Time season 5B thoughts

I’m rewatching OUAT and I wanted to share some of my opinions on each season!

- This is my favourite season!!! (And the only one I have rewatched before)

- Awww it’s Neal

- Slay red intro

- Of course cora is the mayor

- This implies that they have a municipal government (Cora) and a federal?/realm? government (Hades)

- No don’t kiss him it’s James!!!

- Why are they wearing the same outfit lol

- Cora basically just told Regina that she’s going to hell

- THE CHIPPED CUP

- Omg rumbelle is adorable

- THE LITTLE DOLL

- Ooh Pan is back

- “The ale of Sinead from the land of Dunbroch” “That’s a mouthful” lol

- Not the jester lol

- Ooh slay Henry sr switched the hearts

- Pocket sized dad

- YASSSSS ITS HADES

- Alexa, play My Man from Funny Girl

- Fun fact: it was Greg Germann’s idea for Hades to be getting a pedicure in this scene

- Such a slay lair

- Yassss call her out for what she did to Zelena

- I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

- Every single line delivery is 10/10

- Yasssss the flame hair

- Imo it doesn’t look as bad as people say it does like there is WAY worse cgi on the show

- Hercules is my favourite Disney movie and although I love this season, Hades is the only character they got right

- They sucked all the sass and agency out of Megara, making her just a damsel in distress

- And Hercules just doesn’t have the charisma or hunk look of the original

- He looks like the guy from the maze runner, just a typical YA movie looking guy

- They also aged them down which I’m not a fan of

- It’s just kinda disappointing

- Yassss he’s back <3

- CRUELLA

- She replaced all Regina’s horse stuff with dog stuff… I’m dead

- The bloody hook…

- He’s so camp, I love it

- “The music, the gin, the glamour… the gin” lol

- Woah how did it get to the house

- The only conflict in my relationship with Hades would be that I don’t like dogs

- That is an ugly dog too

- “I want to be Snow White again” yassss

- No more annoying Mary Margaret

- “I’m not angry, I’m disappointed” ok dad

- Or should I say daddy ;)

- Ooh him realising that she’s pregnant

- The children in the underworld make me really sad :( I would take care of them

- Why is Hades so hot in this scene???

- I kinda get the homoeroticism that some people see in the Hook/Hades torture scenes

- Greg is just so sexy all the time he can’t help it

- “They had a torrid affair, which resulted in a scandalous teenage pregnancy in prison” Rumple just airing out all of Emma’s dirty laundry

- She’s looking for DANIEL

- I’m starting to find Rumple’s ‘coward face’ really funny

- Like he just looks so distressed 24/7

- Wow just flirting with another guy while your husband is out trying to KILL SOMEONE TO SAVE YOUR DYING SON

- Maybe don’t yell so loud if you’re trying to be discreet

- Milah is kinda pretty ngl

- “Tell him hello from his papa” me crying

- “Get your hands off that squiggly little thing” LOL that has to be the funniest way to describe the dagger

- Wow my man sure can entertain

- ‘Here come into my lair, would you like something to drink?’

- “Mrs Dark One” I LOVE IT

- HIS VOICE IS SO SEXY OMG (Hades)

- Is that where rumple got the idea to take babies as payment???

- The way he yells “MILAH” before chucking her into the river lol

- He really put so much into that performance

- A horse???

- He looks so disgusted as he reads that book lol

- Rumple’s real catch phrase: “no no”

- “And then, butterfingers, you dropped it” lol

- “SHE’S PREGNANT”

- I laugh every time I see Hades poof that man in

- He looks like an npc

- One of my favourite lines: “Take your baby” the delivery is 11/10

- Omg it’s Liam

- My favourite picture of Hades is from this bar scene

- The glass sliding across lol

- “What would you like to try first, the champagne or me?” David looks so uncomfortable

- Does James have a mommy kink?

- The way Liam stumbles back after seeing Hades’ hair

- Why does one brother get a boy band name and the other gets an emo pirate name???

- YASSSSS HADES

- It’s over Liam, I have the high ground

- Hades: Nooooo he’s not going to hell? Disappointing

- “Zelena… our secret remains safe” he sounds so sexy when he says that

- Our Decay is my favourite episode of the whole show!

- I recreated Zelena’s cupcake for one of my birthdays (15th? I think?)

- Ah yes, the old dog and curtain trick

- Dude just let her see her baby

- He looks so handsome in that cravat

- They have so much chemistry omg I love zades

- Where has robin been? I swear I haven’t seen him in like two episodes (not a complaint)

- “This is what, celebrating abandonment day?” Lol

- Wow Zeus is a jerk for cursing his own brother

- The way he gestures to her lol

- Marital problems

- THE BIKE SCENE

- Why am I literally Zelena??? (I can’t ride a bike either)

- THIS IS SO CUTE

- Why not me…

- Belle I love you but STOP BEING MEAN TO ZELENA

- They need a lawyer to work out this custody agreement

- The way Hades looks at Zelena >>>

- THEY WERE ABOUT TO KISS!!!

- That’s so sad you can tell she really loves her daughter :(

- You’re taking a BABY to the FOREST??? ok

- HE IS SO HOT

- The romantic dinner!!!

- Screaming

- “When we were on that bicycle, and I had my arms around you” OMG

- NOOOOO

- I would not even hesitate to kiss that man

- Even if he was evil I don’t care he’s hot

- “I love you” AAAAAAAAAAAA

- She broke his heart :(

- THIS. SCENE.

- HE WANTED TO GIVE HER WHAT REGINA HAD THAT IS SO ROMANTIC

- “But it’s our decay” MY HEART

- He really said ‘take all the space you need but I still love you’

- “But if you change your mind and decide you want me” 1000/10 delivery hot sexy romantic

- I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!

- “Lord legume” sorry I’m allergic

- Not skirmishes with the ogres!

- Was that an ogre in the intro???

- We love a good twister

- Lol hades what’s with the joe goldberg vibes

- Ok that time the hair didn’t look great

- IT’S AN OGRE

- “It was an arranged marriage, I was doing you a favour” rumple…

- “You mean other than that baby in your belly?” WHY WAS THAT SO FUNNY???

- Not the Rumple mannequin lol

- Why do they have that?

- Lol bye Gaston

- How romantic he gives her a little flower

- Yay ruby is back

- The episode title is the ship name lol

- “I’m afraid sometimes I’m just too clever” slay

- Not her turning into a puddle…

- Ruby slippers is cute

- WLW TRUE LOVE’S KISS

- Belle sleeping curse :(

- She doesn’t think he will be her true loves kiss that is so sad :( (marital problems part 2)

- OMG I LOVE THIS SCENE

- I don’t want to set the world on fire by the ink spots!!!

- His car is so slay

- ZADES DATE OMG I LOVE IT

- Zelena, how does it feel to be living my dream

- The way he’s sitting !!!

- “Will you make chaos with me?” AAAAAAAAAA

- PLEASE PROPOSE TO ME LIKE THAT

- Hades/Greg is so hot omg

- You’re not my mom Regina

- “Because he’s a villain” GIRL LITERALLY SO WERE YOU

- Honestly Cora deserves that punishment

- It’s impressive that Zelena can use magic like that with zero training

- “Who could possibly love that man?” ME

- Slay Zelena she saw right through that

- After everything Cora did she deserves to go to hell and she should have

- I don’t think she should get to go to heaven after doing one good thing

- HADES SETTING UP THE DATE

- I love him so much he’s so romantic

- Awwww him dancing is so cute

- Noooo they kidnapped Zelena

- HE TORE UP THE CONTRACT FOR HER

- “When will you believe I’d do anything for you” Awwwwwwww

- ZADES KISS!!!

- His heart is beating again omg

- Me constantly rolling my eyes at Robin

- Rumple jumpscare

- Slay rumple take Robin’s heart

- That lady is kinda slay

- Omg it’s stealthy

- “That’s right vermin, scatter” slay queen

- He “dissolved” James lol

- “Kid eater” lol

- If I put my heart on there to weigh my love for Hades it would 100% work

- My love for Greg is true

- Awwww captainswan

- How do they give you a last name if you’re found on the side of the road?

- Oooh yikes tree cut down

- Slay Hades 10/10 plan btw

- He could’ve done a lot worse tbh

- Which only proves more that he was just doing what he thought was best for Zelena

- Why is this woman exactly like Emma???

- Noooooo them holding hands :(

- “Is she looking for me?” NOOOOO she’s dead :(

- THE ICONIC RED LEATHER JACKET

- YASSSS RUMPLE PAN BETRAYAL

- Transporting your wife home in a little box :)

- How was hook alive again??? I forget

- Not this episode… I’m dreading what I know is going to happen

- “I trust you with anything” awwwww

- SLAY HADES KILL ARTHUR

- I hated that man

- “Robin’s baby” That baby is also my girl Zelena’s!!!

- “Actually, he’s not a man. He’s a god!” YASSSS SLAY

- Yeah he’s going to hell

- How do you kill a god? You can’t they’re immortal? Bingo!

- Slay Olympian crystal

- Maybe I could think of some other uses for it ;)

- This is the messiest custody battle lol

- Rumple jumpscare (part 2)

- He’s not going to wake up his daughter??? Wtf

- Not the cane ptsd

- I can’t…

- Literally push Arthur into the river of souls

- Slay hiding place

- It’s giving antique furniture with secret compartments

- Hmmmm maybe the research would be faster if BELLE’S FATHER WOULD WAKE HER UP

- ‘Hello, this is Hades’ lol

- In my AU rumple and hades would be besties

- That spirit was a hero trying to drag Arthur into the river

- “I really hate him” you are speaking at full volume

- Babe, you walked right past them…

- YASSSSS HADES

- “No Underworld, no moving on” do not pass go, do not collect $200

- Slay

- I would say rip but he just got erased from existence

- Also I hate Robin

- “I did it for you” this is so sad

- Regina just bodychecked him nooooo

- Jail

- “I defended you when no one else did” girl when???

- “Hades won’t give up a single thing for you” he got rid of his leverage against rumple for her!!!

- Regina stop lying

- NOOOOO

- Screaming crying

- This is TRAGIC

- The way he says her name as he’s dying :(

- Wtf Regina’s smiling a little bit

- RIP to the love of my life (and death)

- I will be metaphorically wearing black for the rest of the season

- I’m in mourning

- Ugh Zeus

- He looks like just a dude

- Her putting the flask on the grave lol

- The roses on the arrows… tacky

- It would be so funny if Zelena named her daughter hades or something similar

- #depression

- They literally treated Zelena so horribly after this

- Ooh henry x violet

- “I need more power” okay what else is new rumple

- Ooh yikes

- “I can still feel the aura” lol

- I mean maybe it’s warranted Regina

- Literally that’s so dumb don’t destroy magic

- Ooh crystal in TLWM

- Zelena is slaying so hard right now

- We love a redeemed queen

- Ooh is this the land of untold stories?

- Yikes just choking him

- I love gold’s car omg

- “Do you happen to have any duct tape?” Lol slay

- “Strange name” lol

- Wtf I hate this guy

- With his stupid magic taser

- Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde!!!

- I can’t remember if I liked this plot line

- Where SHE’S taken him???

- Imagine it’s a breakup letter lol

- Maybe Robin shouldn’t have been a little bitch

- #vandalism

- You’re seriously going to attempt to fight the dark one?

- I love the crossover between science and magic it’s cool

- That is so scary yikes

- How symbolic

- Okay I kinda like mr hyde kinda slay

- The room service guy is probably like wtf is this???

- “Your best student” sorry girl that was Zelena

- “This isn’t on me” YES IT IS HENRY OMG

- The dragon???

- I thought he got killed by a taser

- That’s so embarrassing omg

- People probably think he’s a crazy person

- That one extra’s face lol

- Rumple went through the portal!!!

- How convenient that her dad is from TLWM

- Ooh kiss

- Awwwww captainswan

- The evil queen just dusting around

- Ok

How I feel about the characters this season

Love: HADES, Zelena

Like: Belle, Rumple, Emma, Hook, Ruby, Mulan, Jekyll/Hyde

Neutral: Hercules, Megara, Henry, David, Snow, Dorothy, Cruella

Dislike: James, Gaston

Hate: Robin, Regina, Cora, Arthur, Pan, that stupid orderly

Season rating: 10/10

I love this season so much! Zades is my favourite ship in the whole show, and I love Hades with all of my heart. I didn’t really like the destroy magic plot line but it was just the last two episodes. Hades and Zelena are so slay and I love them!

#ouat thoughts #once upon a time #once upon a time season 5 #once upon a time season 5b #ouat 5b #hades ouat #greg germann #zades #zelena ouat #zelena mills #emma swan #regina mills #rumplestiltskin #belle french #rumbelle #captain swan

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maguro13-2 · 17 days

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Demons Unleashed ~ Origins of the Ink Demon Gaiden Finale (4/10) ~

[Underground Channel - Caves Area]

Inky Albarn : [chuckles while looking at the White Pure Heart] Finders Keepers, now that I have this in my hand. I look forward into being more consecutive with this prized possession from that girl who went missing over a year ago. It's no wonder that the stinkin' Ohkuboverse was really a hoax or it was erased that ceased to exist, nothing matters that whether Meister girl is in my way or out of way. I can't wait to see my son's face when he hears about bringing me this object.

*MGS SFX : Exclamation*

Inky Albarn : !? (draws her scythe) Who goes there! Stop playing around! I'm getting really tired of you kids wandering around, and I do not like to repeat myself! So stop pissing me off! Well...?

[suddenly nobody around is here]

Inky Albarn : Gee. I thought there would be kids around here.

[suddenly the platform begins to move]

Inky Albarn : Oh great! The Platform started move!

*DE ROL LE ROARING*

[From Seeing the Rough Wave - Fumie Kumatani]

Inky Albarn : What!? Who's there!?

*SPLASH!*

Inky Albarn : [in disgust] Ugh! What is that ugly thing?

"DE ROL LE : CRAWLER OF THE CAVES"

Inky Albarn : Oh Great! How am I supposed to fight against a monster like that in the caves? Guess I need to solo this one for myself.

Kireek : Allow me.

Inky Albarn : Uhh, pardon me, sir. You sure you can easily solo this?

Kireek : [to Inky] As much as you like.

Inky Albarn : [looks at his Soul Eater Scythe] *in mind* So that's the original Soul Eater, a name of a partisan owned by an NPC.

Kireek : Come, let us defeat this monstrosity!

Inky Albarn : I'm all ears on this one!

[battle begins]

Inky Albarn : So you're Soul Eater's wielder?

Kireek : Yeah, and you are not Soul Eater's wielder, a regular scythe wielder would more be appreciative than you think.

Inky Albarn : Yeah, no doubt about it! You're the NPC who knows about Soul Eater.

Kireek : I know it, it's my trademark weapon of a Black Hound, some man took the name for it's granted while I kept it back from ever stealing the name Soul Eater from me. With our name Soul Eater back to where it belongs, we will able to clean up Square Enix's messes.

Inky Albarn : Gotcha, I always knew that you would come up with a plan on making that Meister girl to wake up to reality. Some say that she's the Ohkuboverse's second destroyer, and that was her own fault.

Kireek : Right now, it's her's that needs to worried about, but we need to focus on our strategies of wielding scythes! You got a part to be in...

Inky Albarn : And you'll got a part to play in. It's two against one. Hope you're winging it for some action with that scythe, but I only like those who carries a huge ass sword. Sword wielders are not even my type, or perhaps, I prefer gun wielders.

Kireek : You tell me, that's what being a hero of the story is all about! Any person can become part of their story shall follow the hero's progress and making their goal that will be the end of his or her tale.

Inky Albarn : I thought so! Heads or Tails, which shall the hero choose the choices to be difficult, will he or she rescue a friend from the hands of another villain, or will the hero will sacrifice a friend to save the world. Guess heroes like them had to suffer, if anyone's gone, nobody would able to tease anyone or anybody no more.

Kireek : I'd like that in favor!

Inky Albarn : So basically Dark Fantasy world are mixture of Fantasy and Lovecraftian, that's why Dark Fantasy was invented in the country called America.

Kireek : Basically, so you knew all about that stuff that the Ohkuboverse like Soul Eater's was not even really a universe, but the same universe as Shinra's World and Maka's world that was erased in half, in which Maka became the second destroyer on erasing the remaining half of the universe by waking up to reality.

Inky Albarn : I won't forget that. (Deafeats De Rol Le with one strike, causing the creature to roar in pain and sinks into the water) Heh. Guess that's done.

Kireek : So on the contrary, what did you mean she had anything on erasing the universe?

Inky Albarn : That's their solution, it's about getting into character whether the hero had to suffer on the choices of being in a dark fantasy story, so I guess that Meister Girl had to push her mind into becoming the only hero to ever exist. It's not like we had that terms of dark fantasy cold-blooded heartless beings driven with greed, corruption, power that Maka has ever faced with all that valor in heart, villains like that pitiful soul world in her head aren't foolish enough to destroy one's world while the other is real to her. There's no point in battling the greater goods on whether the story of her life is true or false, that's her way being a hero to all of the universe.

Kireek : Your good is guess as mine, means we're on the same side of the coin, you have a good redemption on being your self, what was your purpose on saving a meister from being victim to the true villain?

Inky Albarn : I'm only to make one thing to ever draw their last breath, taking back from what is mine, and I will get the job done, No evildoer shall get in my way. It's time for me that I'm going to spoil the evils for myself.

"Meanwhile..."

Tsubaki Nakatsukasa : Oh man! It's always tough of being alone, Nightshade Hibana. Why am I the only girl who doesn't know about what's right or what's wrong? You think that I'll ever fall in love with someone that I even care about? I mean Black Star can be a funny person, but the one that I really prefer is Kazuki Kurosaki, or known as Kuroshima, that's the name of the clan that really saved a real-world village from the clutches of the Heartless Shadow Star. Black Star wasn't taken in by the DWMA, he was one of them and I had to discover the truth.

Hibana : Same thing here, kid. Hey, how about I'll give you some ice cream as a treat from the way back?

Tsubaki Nakatsukasa : Sounds good to me! I've always wanted a treat for myself, I could just go on my business and get a little something something that will make things right. It's too bad that Black Star isn't here, I'm glad that I surely found myself alone.

Hibana : Hold it.

Tsubaki Nakatsukasa : There's someone in the way. Hey, stranger. You got a death wish or something?

Hibana : Allow me to do the talking for you. Hey, punk! Get out of our way! Are you deaf or something, is that what you think? I said get out of our--(the person unhoods himself revealing to be Black Star) !?

Tsubaki Nakatsukasa : !?

*DBZ SFX : Shock*

Tsubaki Nakatsukasa : B...Black Star. Where...Where have you been?

Black Star : Tsubaki...listen to me. My whole gosh darn life was a wreck, I found out that who literally killed the clan of my own, it wasn't the school that killed the clan, it was someone else's clan that killed them. I realized that the swordsman Mifune was a Detective working for them, but I'm the swordsman that I ever wanted to be, I had been nothing more than puppet to the devil's will. The school itself would be part of World Heroes Force Organization and for me, I'm just a kid who was outcasted.

Tsubaki Nakatsukasa : Black Star, I know that the school didn't killed your clan, but I know who did it to save that village. It's Kazuki's, I never thought that I would find out that my heart belongs to another man.

Hibana : you've got a lot of issues for being a wound up hero, kid. Today's not your day.

Black Star : Kazuki? How did you know about Kazuki?

Tsubaki Nakatsukasa : Because Black Star, well...Kazuki was the man that I loved back about over a year ago. We've known each other and he became something that I loved the most, he was my everything before I even met you, a tool that to think that I would fall in love for someone who lived in darkness, I only wanted someone to fall in love with me, but I didn't forget of what happened to you. You were gone for a year, I would bring myself to the Yakuza or any leeches that scourge throughout society, if the school would think they brought to you to think that you would be hero of the story, but sorry, I'm not gonna take my title elsewhere besides you, I'm the newest of the Swordsmanship, you have no title, you lost everything dearly to me and I would forget that I would even trust a nosy hero like your attitude, but don't forget, Kazuki is the man love and no way that you're gonna bring me back with that attitude of that yours! Why would you think that I wanna fall in love with you to think that you were the man that I thought you are.

Black Star : Because...I was jealous, jealous because of Kazuki, that guy was your lover and I had make you win back by becoming a an assassin working for the kid named Shotaro, the Dokeshi who went missing during the investgation of unveiling the secrets of Soul Eater. He was only trying to uncover the truth and exposes for the lies that we caused! I...I never thought that the kid was only trying to help uncover Soul World's lies and for me, I've been a dirty liar, Tsubaki! I've always been under the influence of Shinra Kusakabe, that devil douche fooled me into making me the hero that I was!

Hibana : Shotaro the Dokeshi? Wait, that kid who created the Demon Weapons? He was opposing as Shinigami the entire time and why didn't you tell us the truth before!?

Black Star : Stubborness! We meisters and weapons are filled with stubborness because of the boy who created our world, turns out be a bigger liar! Lies, lies, all lies! Do you know what it's like to live in the shadows as an outcast? I spent my whole lifespan just to protect that stupid legacy all because of Shinra's worthiness, if it hadn't been for our author none of this would happened if Soul World never existed in the first place! What's becoming of this world means that...

*Heartbeat echoing*

Tsubak Nakatsukasa : Ngh!...? I don't feel anything from my heart, neither the soul, was I always felt this way before?

Black Star : (in agony) RRRAAAAAAAAA-HAAAAAAAA!!!

Tsubaki Nakatsukasa : Oh God...! Black Star!

[DMMD BGM10 Plays]

Hibana : Hey, what in the sweet hell is wrong with you, Kid!?

Black Star : I HATE SHINRA! I HATE SHINRA! (starts scratching his head) I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE! HATE!

Tsubaki Nakatsukasa : Black Star, was is even happening to you? It's like your not yourself anymore! Does this mean that I broken your heart it's because of Shinra wasn't it?

Hibana : My god! This gotta stop now!

*Heartbeat echoing*

Tsubaki Nakatsukasa : Guh! Go...Gomene...Kazuki.

Kazuki's voice : Tsubaki-san.

(voices of Tsubaki's friends saying her name are heard)

Tsubaki Nakatsuaksa : Everyone, Gomenasai! Everything we believed in was a lie, I was the one who should be telling the truth, where did it all began, where did it all go wrong, what was the purpose of being a hero of my own story?

Black Star : (grunting+yelling in agony)

Hibana : He's not himself anymore, he's a lost cause to think that something or somehow must've made him to be overprotective to the legacy. That it's! The Devil's influence, it must've overdid it to him, that's why he's screaming in agonizing pain like that! The Devil had been Soul Eater's true creator!

Tsubaki Nakatsukasa : Devil? As in "Shinra Kusakabe"?

Hibana : I'm afraid so.

Black Stare : Shinra must die...Shinra needs death...Shinra...must ...have...!

*images flashing*

Black Star : (screams in agony) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!

*DBZ Sfx : Energy Wave*

Tsubaki Nakatsukasa : Black Star!

Black Star : ....*DBZ SFX : Collapse*

Tsubaki Nakatsukasa : Oi, Black Star! What happened!? Black Star!?

Hibana : (checks on his body) He's not breathing, all of his vitals had been dropped to zero, and no pulse. It looks like he lost his own heart and soul just for the sake of protecting the legacy and not you. The only reason that you fell in love with him, it's because of the legacy that you were protecting. Someone's using these youths to protect the legacy that was hidden inside the planet's core! That Shinigami person wasn't a friendly reaper at all, it was some kind heartless jerk that is the real Lord Death.

Tsubaki Nakatsukasa : BLACK STAAAAAR!!!

"Those Who loses their heart and souls shall might die."

"Those who succumb to the darkness shall be gone."

"Now who's the biggest fool in the entire world now?"

"Always prepare for another humiliation of one's life."

"Regret that the ones who suffered has already enough."

~ Stage 33 : Story of an Ordeal ~

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levis-bathtub · 3 years

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Some weird headcanons and vibe readings and stuff no one asked for

Lucifer:

Can't ride a bike. He says he just doesn't like riding them but he really just never learned

Can't grow a beard. Like at all.

Probably near sighted but chooses not to wear glasses or contacts

Strikes me as the type of person to just. Not go to the doctor? Like ever?

Mammon:

Colorblind

Pissed off a goose once and is now terrified of geese. Understandably.

Probably scared of horses too. They're too big. He doesn't like them.

Fucking sticks gum under the desk

Probably really likes animated movies

Really good at foosball (I think it's called table soccer in other places?)

I wanna see him wear a beanie. I think he'd look cute.

Leviathan:

Can't wink. He just kind of like blinks one eye at a time.

Looks like he can't swim. I know he's a sea monster but he just kind of has that vibe? Like the kid who cries whenever he walks too far into a pool and his feet lift off the bottom. That vibe.

Really likes those girly desserty scented lotions/hand sanitizers but is too embarrassed to ask for some so he'll just stare longingly until someone offers it to him

Satan:

Sneezes. Just. Into the open. Those big giant old man sneezes.

Writes post-it note reminders for himself, but they're super vague so he just has notes with shit like "Ask Beel about *illegible scribble*" and "Buy thing" all over his room

Because of his vague note taking skills he just does the whole "Well if I can't remember it, it must not be important" thing and just... never does anything about it. He can't even remember to take the post-it notes down.

"I don't work here but yeah I'll help you"

Asmodeus:

Collects things. From small things like candles and knickknacks, to whole ass clocks and lamps and shit

Can never figure out how much to tip so he just leaves how ever much he thinks they deserve (which is always way too much but who's complaining?)

"Hey, MC, share a locker with me 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰"

Locker is full of random decor and photos and those little white boards and has literally no room for MC's things

"Wait why are you moving back to your locker 😟"

You know why.

Beelzebub:

Type of guy to just never go to a barber. He cuts his own hair. Sometimes it's ugly but he does the whole "Well I can't see the back of my head so I don't care" thing. You should. It's a disaster.

Sunscreen who?

"Hey, can I borrow a pencil?" *chews the shit out of it*

Also the one guy in class who's pen always explodes. Like??? How does that keep happening? I've never had a pen explode on me before??? How does he do it???

Belphegor:

Unkempt eyebrows

Like. Really unkempt.

Not a headcanon or anything but he'd look super hot in glasses

Just fucking smacks things whenever they're not working as if that's helping at all

Would be really artsy if he wasn't so lazy. Same.

Diavolo:

Excessively polite to NPCs while playing video games

Just apologizing left and right and crying after hurting characters that don't even exist

(I'm projecting can you tell)

Really wants to try dyeing his hair but Barbatos keeps talking him out of it

Let the man experiment, Barbatos

Really good at bar games. Like poker and darts and billiards and stuff

I think he'd look hot with a 5 o'clock shadow but that might just be me

Barbatos:

Does the "I'm invested in this TV show but I refuse to acknowledge it so instead of sitting down I'll just stand next to the couch with my hands behind my back for an upsettingly long period of time" dad thing.

Really into trains

Gives off the vibe that he knows how to grill really well but is actually just kind of average at it.

I feel like he's really into rom-coms, but not the good ones. He just likes laughing at bad movies and thinks they're more entertaining than actually good movies.

I don't know anything about weed but I feel like Barbatos smokes weed. Probably with Solomon. Or maybe because of Solomon. Solomon can be stressful to deal with.

Solomon:

Gives me "Chaotic neutral dad chaperoning an elementary school field trip" vibe.

Probably has a lot of skills that he just... never uses? Like playing the saxophone? Knife throwing? Juggling? He's lived a long life and gets bored easily. He has a lot of time to learn a lot if things.

Just. Likes to set things on fire.

Likes the smell of gasoline.

Simeon:

I don't know if canon Simeon would be into drinking alcohol, but human AU Simeon would be super into fancy wines and champagne and stuff

Probably knows a lot about cheeses too? Both in canon and human AU.

Throws those really relaxing parties. Like Christmas parties, cocktail parties, movie nights.

Just really domestic and wholesome and relaxing to be around.

Really likes owls.

Luke:

Little kid cough

And chugging a bottle of water hella loud

As someone with ADHD, Luke has ADHD. I'm not sorry, I do make the rules.

I feel like he's really into antique stuff? Like old toys and stuffed animals and posters. Stuff that's cute and childish but with a hint of retro aesthetic.

Also into flowers. Like arranging bouquets and wreaths, flower language, stuff like that. He just likes pretty things, ok?

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critterfloozy · 2 years

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Campaign 2 Yarns

Explanation/Masterpost Campaign 1 YarnsCampaign 3, NPC, and Miscellaneous YarnsKnit Objects

Campaign 2 Yarns:

(There was more; I either used it or gave it away. But more under the cut!)

Veth

A 3 ply

Yellow is the same that’s used for the Caleb Yarn (Hidden Valley’s Bob’s Dandelions)

A very nice and colorful wool blend

it was inexpensive but I did have to listen to the seller’s sales pitch for her online classes to get it

I ended up thinking of that as ‘Felderwin’.

4 ounces of random llama in a hefty ziplock bag

Not sure where that came from.

Nott The Brave

Retroactively decided Nott the Brave was the first yarn I ever spun

It’s both lumpy and ugly and yet incredibly charming

I am always proud of it.

Fjord

Made with this absolutely gorgeous blue-green malabrigo rios

Malabrigo: gorgeous colors, great yarn, difficult fiber

Also bleeds all over

Anyway, great at being deceptive seems like a Fjord thing

Fractal Plied (because seashells, like the sea)

Thinner than you’d expect - laceweight

But a good amount of it.

Like, 800 yards of it

I was thinking of four plying it to get it up to, like, a fingering (still a very thin yarn) but was kind of done with this fiber at that point

Not a commentary on Fjord, 800 yards is just a lot and my hands were very green

Caduceus

First part is this Malabrigo Nube that was this fantastic color. WIldbros get the same fiber!

This one also bled all over

Needed a lot of slow, careful handling

The other half was this magenta and white alpaca that I got on basis of softness alone

I just stuck my hand into the fiber and purchased it without a thought it was so soft

Like 5,000 baby rabbits

Would give good hugs

I don’t even like magenta

Anyway, initial attempt combination didn’t quite gel so I thought I’d overdye it with this a blue/grey

For whatever reason I assumed the malabrigo half wouldn’t take the dye

Mostly because it kept on bleeding all over me

Turns out that the fiber takes dye just fine (whoops)

Which is why this color scheme is very Subdued for Cad

Became a nice (cow)l and fingerless mitt set

Jester

A bright blue with some darker tones to it

It’s acrylic! But soft and not horrible to spin ‘Faux Cashmere’ (from wildhare on etsy). A true trickster

A two ply - for duplicity

Became a baby hat and an ornament (see Finished Objects)

Yasha

Took some black and white fiber, split it in half, then twisted/plied it against itself

Then took some purple, blue, and white fiber, and then twisted/plied it against itself

THEN PLIED THOSE TWO TOGETHER

It’s called a cable ply

It’s super strong and ropey (like Yasha)

The final result reminds me of a 90’s solo cup

Somehow perfect for the woman who smells like a crayon

I love that about her. Do not take this from me. She looks like a solo cup.

Beauregard

Cobalt Soul Blues and Browns

Chain Plied (flurry of blows, chain attacks

Sport Weight, like a real jock

Done on a drop spindle, as it’s surprisingly good for meditation, and Beau’s surprisingly okay with stillness of mind

Caleb

Started off with the yellow that’s the same as Veth (Hidden Valley Farms)

Got some one-off yarn from Hello Yarn Called Blaze- this reddish-brown

The third fiber was a red/orange/brown handpainted roving (Sweet Georgia, called ‘Phoenix Rising)

Then overdyed the whole thing with some orange to make it an amber color

Extremely pretty

Practically glowed

Looks like a flame flickering

A+ would do again

Made a scarf with it with Essek

Molly

A weird one

Half this combination of red and blue fiber that looked like a sunbleached cubs fan

Also prepped so that instead of it moving from one color to the other, it had both colors side by side at all times?

Claimed to be made of corn silk? Partially corn silk? Not really sure

Dubious exotic origins seemed perfect for Molly

Other half was a perfectly normal lavender (from SweetGeorgia)

Fingering weight, because I never get tired of that joke.

#Critical Role #Campaign 2 #Mighty Nein #Yarn #Essek isn't in this batch because of the ten photo limit #and I typically take the pictures portrait but tumblr does better with landscape #Mollymauk Tealeaf #Fjord Stone #jester lavorre #caleb widogast #beauregard lionett #yasha nydoorin #cadeuces clay #Veth Brenatto #critical yarns

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m-y-fandoms · 3 years

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COMMISSION: Joker/Akira/Ren x Reader Part 1

Thank you to the client for commissioning me! This is gonna be a long one! I love Joker and Persona 5 is my second favorite fandom after Danganronpa! Exctied to be working on this.

Around 2.6k words, SFW, SLOW BURN romance friends to lovers, gender neutral reader, anyone can enjoy it and place themselves as the reader! - Admin Myah

Shujin Academy could be silent as the grave in the earliest hours of the morning, and yet seem so deafening. It was almost guaranteed that at least thirty new rumors were spreading throughout the student body at any given time, and the overwhelmingly hostile environment that created made the air heavy. With all the teenage angst, hormones, hatred, circles of venomous malice, it was no wonder so many loners could be spotted on academy grounds. That’s just how it was at Shujin: you either had a clique, or you had no one. It was no surprise, then, that you simply kept your head down, minded your business, and got to know no one. Miraculously, though, gossip abound about you still, at least two or three preposterous examples of hearsay and stories. But hey, what could you do? That was in all actuality, pretty low for a single Shujin student. God help the students who actually did make their opinions known, express themselves through clothing and cosmetics, and dared to swim against the current.

You shuffled through the first floor, the absolute blandness of that April morning perpetuating your usual routine: arrive at Shujin, check your locker, scribble down any notes and ideas that came to you in your dreams last night to put into your next short story, and of course check for new posts in the group chat, where your only friends resided. You wouldn’t be caught dead associating with anyone here at the school, it would simply be mental and social suicide, and quite frankly, you didn’t have the constitution for that.

Peeking up for a split second to avoid any collisions, you quickly slid to the left and ducked into a nearby alcove, successfully escaping the gaze of the oncoming wall of muscle and testosterone that was Coach Kamoshida, the plague of Shujin Academy. It was the best case scenario that Kamoshida remained ignorant to one’s very existence, for even those on his good side suffered the consequences. He strode by, shoulders wide and chest puffed out, scanning the halls for girls to harass or boys to intimidate, and once the coast was clear and he was a safe distance away, his back facing you, you dipped back out of the rather dusty corridor and back into the light, immediately slipping back into an almost mechanical daily ritual. It took mere seconds: phone screen unlocked, group chat opened, notebook slipped snuggly back under armpit.

“C’mon, man!” An obnoxiously loud voice rang out above the typical tinnitus-like buzz of the hallway, and suddenly your shoulder was thrust forward, body flying to the ground with a forceful shove on the shoulder.

“Aaagh!” Your voice cracked as your knees buckled and you collided roughly with the wooden panels below, your smartphone soaring out of your grip and clinking against the floor. Thank goodness your notebook was safe, at the very least. People gasped and turned to look at the spectacle, including Kamoshida himself, who’d just reached the end of the hall.

“Sakamoto! I see you running in the halls again, I’ll write you up!” He just always had to say something, let the general student body know he was in charge. He cared far more about sounding rough and tough than making sure the student who was just steam-rolled was uninjured. He pointed directly at you and the student that had just dashed by, effectively pummeling you to the ground with a shoulder check. You looked up and just ahead of you, Ryuji Sakamoto was pivoting on one foot, ignoring Kamoshida’s threat entirely to catch his breath and look down at his victim, splayed across the floor.

Ryuji Sakamoto, now that was one of those students mentioned earlier, the kind that dyed his hair, customized his uniform, and didn��t take shit from anyone. He was a pariah, pretty much the opposite of the teacher’s pet… teacher’s pest more like. Sakamoto was the subject of many falsehoods and conjectures, and he was sure to be trouble for anyone associated…

You looked him up and down, halting your unflattering and socially-altered thoughts in their tracks. Didn’t wanna become the very thing you hated. There was no reason to judge Ryuji without first-hand proof.

“Woah! My bad, sorry dude!” He held up one hand submissively, but unfortunately, just as with Kamoshida, it seemed that you were not his main concern either. Huffing and puffing from the sprint, he looked past you to another male student who was hot on his trail, but this one looked… different.

You’d gone to Shujin Academy for all of your high-school career. It was your third and final year before graduation, and you knew of Sakamoto well enough, but this kid was a mystery… was he new here? He must’ve been. You knew at least the face of every student here in some way or another just through Shujin’s own little eternal game of telephone, and not by any choice of your own. You actively removed yourself from the local goings-on. Was it his first day here, you wondered. Why hadn’t you heard gossip about him yet, especially looking the way he did?

Beauty was a curse - much like any other feature that stood out - at Shujin Academy. If you were too pretty or handsome, you must be sexually promiscuous. On the other hand, if you were too ugly, too nerdy, too quiet, you probably picked your nose and read hentai on the train. There was no winning in this soul-crushing wasteland. Unfortunately for this new-comer, he was outrageously gorgeous.

“Gah, sorry about that…” he sighed, slowing his pace as he passed you by, plucking your phone up from the ground and offering you his hand. You took it and stood with his help. A quick tug and you were to your feet, dusting off your uniform and thanking him for his assistance. “Yeah, no problem… Ryuji’s just… a bit eager I suppose” he chuckled. “Luckily, no cracks!” He turned your phone around in his hand before placing it back into yours.

“Isn’t that the transfer student??? I heard he nearly killed a man!” One random NPC-esque shithead whispered from behind.

“Oh God, figures that freak would gravitate to the new freak…” another responded.

Ah… and there it was. Why did fate hate you so much that it chose you as Sakamoto’s door mat on this day? You truly must have been fortune’s fool.

“Yeah, good thing…” You eyed the boy before you, taking in what you could of the new student before the short exchange was over, from his face to the delicate yet thick veins protruding from his lithe hands.

He was tall and thin, and would even be considered lanky if not for the lean muscle that lined his frame. He seemed to be better off than the average teen, sporting almost no blemishes or imperfections on his smooth skin. A black, messy mop of hair that looked soft to the touch sat upon his head, falling into his eyes and over the dark frames of his distinct spectacles. These spectacles did nothing to hide the true elegance that gleamed in the eyes behind them. They were a muted, soft grey that was beautifully simple and clean. His uniform was neat and tidy - as opposed to his blonde and brash acquaintance’s - with his pristine white turtleneck gently blanketing a quite prominent Adam’s apple and his school jacket buttoned and ironed perfectly. Lower down, his plaid slacks concealed thighs that strained against the fabric and long legs that ran down into some very - yet again - flawless dress shoes. Yep, that was a brand new uniform, sure enough.

And a brand new student… he just might make a good subject, a new inspiration for your writing, an aura unmarred by the stain this place put on one’s soul. Your opinion of him was fresh, it was new, unaltered, unbiased, and he really was quite beautiful… your mind played with the thought.

“Ah… sorry about this,” he spoke, taking in the whispers all around you, “I probably just ruined your reputation, what with being seen with me an’ all,” he sighed and laughed breathily, a hint of exhaustion in his voice. He must’ve been keen to the ways of Shujin already, which was super sad in its own right. “I’m Akira by the way,” he held out a hand, and you shook it hesitantly.

“Eh, doesn’t really bother me. It’s (Y/N), nice to meet you. Sorry you’re feeling the Shujin warm welcome.” That first part was only partly true, but the last half was genuine.

“Anyway…” his voice shook you back out of your contemplative reverie, and you came back to reality to find him also looking you over. Oh right… you were new to him as well… “I gotta go, Ryuji is kind of impatient, I’ve found.”

“Hey! Am not!” Ryuji retorted, brows furrowing before he ran off. Akira’s eyes rolled playfully, before he smiled, waved, and sped off.

You nodded, and quickly pulled out your phone, rushing to the glass doors leading to the courtyard. Anything to get out of the spotlight and harsh crowd of stares, plus, you had a sparkling new idea filling up your cranium, and artistic inspiration could not be wasted. Finding one of the benches placed for student recreation, you set down your school bag and impatiently scrambled for your favorite pen, throwing open your notebook.

“Oh, shoot!” You’d gotten ahead of yourself in all the excitement. Placing the moleskin down, you picked up your phone, hands trembling just a bit, and messaged you friends before anything else. They just had to hear about this.

＊

(Y/N) 9:55 am: Guys guys guys!!!

Itsuki 9:56 am: What do you want?

Rin 9:56 am: ???

Megumi 9:57 am: Shouldn’t you be in class?

(Y/N) 9:57 am: Shut up I have a free period just listen

You know how I’ve been having writer’s block?

Rin 9:58 am: Ya

(Y/N) 9:58 am: Well I just met this new kid, and ideas just started FLOWING.

Itsuki 9:59 am: Yeah

Megumi 9:59 am: Yeah we remember nerd

Oh that’s great!

Wait what do you mean?

New kid?

Only we can have you 😭 Don’ go switching up on us. Shujin is

toxic anyway.

(Y/N) 10:01 am: No no no It’s not like we’re friends, I just met him is all

You know you’re my one and only bby 😘

Itsuki 10:01 am: New kid???

Megumi 10:01 am: 😎

Itsuki 10:02 am: Gross

Also what about me!!!!

Rin 10:02 am: Me too 😡😡😡

(Y/N) 10:03 am: You two know you’re included in that???? 🤔🙄

Anyway just listen

I think he may be good inspo for my main character!!!

I was stuck looking for a unique look or face claim or something

But he seems nice enough and he’s good looking!

Itsuki 10:05 am: You got a crush? Awww I’m telling 😏😏😏😏

(Y/N) 10:05 am: I swear it’s like we haven’t been friends for years…

You know me, PLEASE don’t be gross

Writing purposes ONLY

Megumi 10:06 am: I thought you were stuck on the CONTENT, not characters and shit

(Y/N) 10:06 am: Both!!!! But he’s perfect for the look of my protag

Itsuki 10:06 am: 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

Megumi 10:07 am: Well I’m happy for you

STOP

Itsuki 10:07 am: 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

Rin 10:07 am: 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

(Y/N) 10:08 am: I can see this conversation isn’t going to be productive

LMAO you’re assholes

＊

You tucked your phone into your pocket and once again picked up your notebook. Scrawling down some of the details you knew about Akria: his looks, the sound of his voice, the way he carried himself, you quickly became aware that you knew far too little… or rather

You wanted to know more.

Standing, you packed your things and set out to find him again…

Not in the creepy way! You thought to yourself, trying to justify this uncharacteristic choice of yours to actually reach out to someone in real life, to maybe… try to make… friends? You stood there, brows furrowed and a small frown on your face, pondering your options.

“Oh well, all artists must suffer for their work!” You resolved a little too promptly to try to force another encounter with the new kid. He seemed to be special, unique. He seemed to be well aware of the social hierarchy of Shujin, and have a distaste of it at least. Maybe he wouldn’t be… so bad?

Making up your mind, you spent your free period not writing of romance and rebellious characters, but searching for that fluffy-headed newfound hero to your story, however ghoulish and greasy that made you appear. You truly were becoming that “reads-hentai-on-the-train” and stalks cute boys freak your peers thought people like you were, weren’t you?

To your surprise (though maybe it shouldn’t have been surprising with the volume of Sakamoto’s voice) you soon found the gaggle of second-years, model-status beauty Ann Takamaki now added to their number, standing next to the stairs on the third floor, looking quite conspicuous to boot. Noting the suspicious air around the three, you pulled back, hiding behind the corner leading down the next hall. They seemed on edge... maybe now wasn’t the best time to make friends…?

You felt something thump in your chest. Your shoulders sank subconsciously. It felt a little disappointing, disheartening in a way you couldn’t explain. It was a bit intimidating: Ryuji the loudmouth with a temper, the hottest girl in the school, and the cute new kid. You sighed, this was why you never tried to make friends in the first place. Why had you even gotten your hopes up?

These irrational feelings of self-doubt clouded your heart, your head knowing better of course. It was hard to fight thoughts like these, especially for someone like you. On the precipice of making up your mind, deciding to give up and scrap the new novel idea altogether, you were jolted to attention by the sound of shoes scuffling and scrambling up the stairs.

Students aren’t really allowed on the rooftop during school hours unless accompanied by a teacher or given express permission, your thoughts swarmed. Maybe they didn’t know? No, there’s no way. There’s a possibility Akira didn’t know, but Ann and Ryuji had been here for two years... What were they up to?

Your nosiness was regrettably getting the better of you, and you slithered over, careful to pad your steps and tread softly. You didn’t even know what you’d do once you’d cornered the trio on the roof, didn’t know what you’d say. What was there to say? You were never too good with words, that is those not written on paper. Your heart beating out of your chest, you climbed the narrow stairwell and threw open the doors to the roof.

“Huh?” You looked around, dumbfounded. “Hello?” The rooftop area was not that large, all parts of it visible from the door.

There was no one to be found.

“What the hell?” You step forward, thinking you must have been the subject of some prank, but no, upon looking around, all three students were gone without a trace. No school bags, no lunch boxes, no uniform pieces, nothing. Akira, Ryuji, and Ann, all vanished into thin air. There were no hiding spots, none big enough for three people at least. It was dead silent, and only the door you currently guarded provided an exit off of the roof. Your mind wanted to wander to darker places, but if they’d have jumped, there surely would’ve been a commotion either during or shortly after. Frantically, you looked around, feeling like you were going crazy.

“What the fuck?” You pressed the palm of one hand to your forehead, sitting on the ground and crossing your legs.

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smouldring · 2 years

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reposting discord unhinged ramblings about the narrative taking shape over my playthrough: character relationships | i’m planning on streamlining these later.

Kalé was the first person aside from the White Mask who spoke to Merrimac, and in encouraging her to visit his relatives, he grounded her in the world and gave her a sense of community. She's very fond of merchants, and fondest of Kalé in particular. She brings him interesting things she finds and asks him about Limgrave and its history. He introduced her to Blaidd and she's forever grateful.

Yura helped Merrimac when she was ambushed at the lake. He was the second person she stopped and really spoke to, and though his standoffish manner keeps them from being capital f Friends, she seeks him out wherever she can and wants to impress him - though she wishes he'd help her a little more, since he seems so capable.

Blaidd is Merrimac's best friend thus far. The wolves were her first summon, and she grew fond of them long before meeting Blaidd. They were mutually delighted by each other, and Blaidd was impressed that she'd killed Darriwil before he could even ask for it. She wishes Blaidd would come around more, and she treats all the wolves of the world with respect for his sake. She took in the rotted dog with him in mind and has done her best to take care of it.

Darriwil taught Merrimac how to fight. He was the first speed enemy she encountered, and fighting him again and again helped her hone her skill with her rapier and knife. She came to enjoy the time they spent together, even if they were trying to kill each other, and does regret having to finish him off - though it led her to meeting Blaidd, and that's more important to her by far. She uses bleed modifiers because of him and carries his blade in her off hand, replacing her knife.

Merrimac met Nepheli by surprise when traversing Stormveil with Nikolai. She's intrigued by the fact that their appearances are similar, and wonders if she's from the same place Nepheli is.

Thops is the sad little dropout at the beginning of Liurna and the reason why Merrimac isn't attached to Boc. She met Thops first and they fill, emotionally, the same role in her eyes, and she prefers Thops. She wants him to go to wizard school and do wizard things. With no intention of becoming a mage herself, she plans to give the stone she finds to him.

Corhyn is the mage at Roundtable Hold, and introduced her to fire magic, which she now uses exclusively. She considers her dragon magic building on Corhyn's teachings and has spurned Sellen in favor of him.

Honorable mention to Godrick and the NPC afterwards. Godrick kept count of every time she entered the arena, and asked her why she kept coming back - whether or not perseverance for its own sake was worth anything. She didn't do it all in one go, and every time she took a trip and returned, he asked her the same question: is there inherent value in being so persistent? Despite the ugliness he spread through the world, despite how he treated his subjects, and despite the fact that he was mad, Merrimac believes he taught her something, and that's why she killed the nameless man immediately after she saw him. She couldn't stand him stomping on Godrick's head.

Patches is not an IC relationship he's a meta relationship he speaks directly to me the player and we kiss on the lips.

#✢ out of flasks ( ooc. )#✢ headcanons.

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miloscat · 3 years

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[Review] Zelda’s Adventure (CD-i)

At last, my white whale of Zelda games has been conquered.

You can’t be a connected Zelda fan for too long without hearing about the infamous trio of games released under begrudging licence from Nintendo for the Philip CD-i, a failed early 90s multimedia console. They’re widely derided but not many people bother to play them, preferring to take at face value the sneering of reviewers and Youtubers and write them off pre-emptively. I try not to be so dismissive, and the nichest corners of a franchise are often the most interesting to me, so I’ve always wanted to try Zelda’s Adventure for myself. Especially as it’s even more overlooked than Animation Magic’s paired sidescrollers, with their meme-ified cartoon cutscenes.

Part of the problem with playing it is the real hardware and game are prohibitively expensive, and the CD-i is tricky to emulate. Support for this game in particular was broken in later updates of MESS. I believe I followed the terse instructions in this post, and with much tinkering and finagling was able to play it in tinycdi without the game softlocking on the first screen. This method unfortunately lacks support for savestates and crashes if you die, so the opening sections can be very frustrating to get through, requiring repetition to regain lost progress; if you do manage to save and quit in time though, you will retain all items and rubies. However you are able to map a fast forward button, which can greatly accelerate you through the console’s initial bootup, reduce load times between screens, and more easily navigate the slow cursor around the menus.

I was also aided in my monumental quest by a helpful overworld map by Dadaph (the dungeons weren’t complex enough to really require external maps) and the recently created but unquestionably essential and comprehensive written guide by Mundy. I used these extensively as a crutch, to help fight back against the game’s high difficulty, awkward design, and confusing progression.

Yes, it’s fair to say that many criticisms of this game are warranted. The template for the game’s structure is The Hyrule Fantasy, the original Zelda title: a top-down view of single-screen rooms, an overworld and a handful of dungeons, useful(?) tools to acquire, debatably helpful NPCs. It’s just all so messy; the hit detection is way off, there’s no music—ever—and sound effects play sparingly and at a remove from actions, your inventory is flooded with items and spells that have situational or even no use at all. The oddballs that populate the world are often of little help. The worst of it is the graphics, which are all made with the then-cutting-edge techniques of digitising photographs; let’s just say they haven’t aged well, and at worst can affect navigation and playability.

Despite the deeply flawed design and thorough jank, I find I have a soft spot for this train wreck of a game. That early FMV culture it emerged from, with its crunched live action cut scenes, bizarre and ugly pre-rendered sprites, copious amateur voiceover, and characters made from sloppily photoshopped “actors” is morbidly fascinating from a game history perspective. It’s cool to build up a vast arsenal of spells, even though most of them work the exact same way and the best strategy is invariably to stand in one place, swinging your basic wand and waiting for enemies to approach. I liked the boosts in power and defence each mystic sign gave me as I clawed my way up the food chain of monsters. Although clumsy, the universe of the game has a sense of mystery and worldbuilding to it thanks to the chatty villagers and dubiously menacing voiced bosses. Also, having Zelda as the playable hero is an immensely satisfying flip that Nintendo are still too cowardly/boring to do themselves in the now 35 year-old series.

I’m left to assume that the game’s female director and co-writer Anna Roth is to be thanked for that, and it was also nice to see other women’s names in the credits under art, production, and casting roles. Speaking of development, there are some illuminating and baffling anecdotes about the game’s production out there, such as a preview shared here in which the co-designer claims the game would contain 600 rooms, 300 hours of gameplay, and 160 NPCs. This interview (also containing fun tidbits, like how the staff included a model maker who constructed the buildings and interiors that were photographed and included in the game) talks about the testing process at Philips that ran for an exceptionally-long two years while the programmer had moved on, implying that problems discovered could not be easily fixed. This may explain the item cruft, the existence of purposeless areas and NPCs, or suggests a large amount of cut content. Although I’ve critiqued their work, I have no contempt for the developers, who were doing their best to make something new and interesting under all sorts of pressures on unsuitable hardware; I appreciate their work on this, and it’s a shame it didn’t all come together perfectly.

Whatever the case, I’m pleased I could get this working. It was worth it to me to play it for myself and having done so, develop a kind of liking for it. The kind that makes you grimace as much as smile. Zelda’s Adventure is... unique. It’s got a strong and consistent style to it, you can’t deny that. And I’ll be defending its dubious charms for the rest of my life, I’m sure. Oh and by the way, judging by Zelda’s outfit I’ve decided that it should fit into the timeline shortly after A Link to the Past. This is important.

#zelda #the legend of zelda #zeldas adventure #viridis #cdi #review

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stormy-seasons · 3 years

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Title

Watching Word of Honor ep 1 again:

Oh wow I forgot how hard the opening comes for you in the feels. The cinematography is... a delight. The synchronisation of lyrics and the excerpts from the different parts of the show are just. A heartbreaking delight. And the opening introduction... showing us the politics. And also Zhou Zishu's bloody day job. Night job, at least in terms of the action. The fight and wirework choreography is very nice, indeed. Also very spinny though. Set's a certain ominous feeling, for the first episode to be quite this... bloody. That's a lot of body count of characters in the opening.

Oh no. Oh dear, Zhou Zishu and this Princess Jing An know each other, don't they. There's a tragic backstory there that I'd have to read the book to know isn't there! And she's forced to commit suicide on screen argh. And that glimpse of a younger Zhou Zishu in happier times oh my heart that hurt. The implications of the really ugly background politics is really awful. This... Prince Jin character is really being set up to deserve everything that happens to him.

Oh no. I'd forgotten. He has to execute the last surviving member of Four Seasons Manor himself oh no! And that conversation is so full of knives. And this last other survivor... the reveal for a drama audience of the plotting that apparently killed off all the other members of the Four Seasons Manor. The knives of Zhou Zishu being consistently addressed as the leader of the Four Seasons Manor while having to horrribly execute the last survivor.

The NPC guards discussing exactly how horrible the Nails are. Duan Pengju's horrible little hidden smile, ugh. I am so very glad that Prince Jin's probable plot to isolate Zhou Zishu and leave him with no other loyalty backfires on him so horribly.

The little hints that Zhou Zishu has already take decisive action, the injuries, the coughing up blood... Ugh this Prince Jin. Just. Ugh. Resenting your... cousin? I think it was cousin? Grief, because it makes him less useful... UGH.

Oh no the blossom painting scene. Oh no. And the reveal of how exactly Zhou Zishu rules lawyered his resignation. Well. Horrible suffering via Rules Lawyering... and being haunted by the guilt of failing his sect as the sect leader.

。。。 Resignation scene in the snow. Well. This is going to go well, isn't it. Prince Jin trying to play the emotional card.. and Zhou Zishu bluntly rejecting the overture. And then. Huh. Essentially half stripping himself to show that yes, he really did take extreme measures to resign from office. Rules lawyering, and also demonstrating to Prince Jin that yes, let me go, I'm no longer useful to you. Prince Jin, were you surprised? You made such use of him precisely because he was capable of this sort of iron cold will and decisiveness, wasn't it? Was it really a surprise that he'd finally pick a torturous death sentence if he had to leave?

Oh the disguise! And the whole... raise head into the free air and sunlight. Wow that's a nice touch.

Ghost Valley... Mr Hanging Ghost having a really good time... yeeting himself off cliffs, only to be strangled to death by mysterious person in red robes... And then we cut to the Valley Master's remarkably dramatic audience chamber, complete with ominously twisted white barked tree with red leaves... and Wen Kexing in red robes. Really nicely embroidered red robes, rolling a pair of walnuts in his hand in a really nice ominous strut of "I'm so ticked off I look calm". Random peon ghost's begging, and Wuchang Gui's thinly disguised terror - is really a nice intro to Wen Kexing's frankly terrifying reputation as well. Also for a reputedly lawless place that's some formal etiquette they've got going, presumably for the reason of keeping each other and themselves alive against Valley Masters - who are Valley Masters because they could kill everyone else and make sure everyone else knows it. It's rather interesting, too, who the camera pans to and who it doesn't. Whose faces they make sure to show the audience.

... Aaand now we're somewhere else, 3 months later in the spring. Including... is that Wen Kexing? Not in red, enjoying himself with... Gu Xiang? And Zhou Zishu, enjoying himself in the sun with alcohol, for all that he's wandering around like a beggar. But the relationship between Wen Kexing and Gu Xiang... so gently affectionate in their own way. Oh wait. Is that Chengling, casually giving charity because he can? Reprimanding his servant for being rude? Also Gu Xiang being offhandedly kind and offhandedly showing off that, yes, she has mad skills - a delight. Ehehe Gu Xiang being upset that she's about to lose the bet with Wen Kexing... picking a fight with Zhou Zishu... and coincidentally giving Wen Kexing a good look at someone who might, possibly, be someone he knows. And then the rest of that fight, with Zhou Zishu not quite hiding his actual capabilities, thoroughly soused by wine or not. And the more they fight, the more Wen Kexing is curious - because he too knows what Gu Xiang is capable of, and for this random beggar not to die under her hand? Most curious indeed. And that stagger of the steps as Zhou Zishu dodges Gu Xiang's whip... no wonder Wen Kexing steps in right there. That bit of choreography... really does remind me of the choreography they have in later episodes of one of the special footwork skills they put into the Four Seasons Manor. Which Wen Kexing would also have reason to recognise.

All in all, a beautiful episode.

Oh no I'm being murdered by the feels of the closing music too.

#shl #woh #word of honor #word of honor ep 1 #word of honor commentary

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bemey · 3 years

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[found this in my drafts] Skwisgaar, Toki, and Murderface in Tamriel

combining my hyperfixations let's gooooooooooooooooo

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

it's very obvious that as a Swede, his race in a fantasy universe would be that fantasy universe's version of our world's ye olde Scandinavians (aka, he'd be a Nord, duh) BUT i like to think if you gave him a pair of fake elf ears matching his skintone, he'd pass as just a really pale Altmer

he's beautiful, tall, slender, arrogant and talented, im sure he'd fit right in with either group, maybe even less so with Nords since Nord society values brute strength and high tolerance for alcohol, of which Skwisgaar has neither (I know he beat up that one guy with his guitar once BUT!!! he's absolutely the least violent fifth of Dethklok)

as a non-metal-musician in Tamriel im sure he'd have mastered a magic school instead of electric guitar, but i can't really figure out *which* school, *maybe* enchanting, *maybe* mysticism, but if i had to pick i'd settle on one of the schools governed by Willpower (alteration, destruction and restoration) because, let's be real, he's more dedicated (to his life passion) than he is intelligent >_>;;

the thing is, i'd make an argument that epic guitar solos heal people (not physically), so that'd be restoration, BUT if he was in a party of sorts I can't really imagine him as just a healer on the sidelines (that's Toki and Mface's thing hehehe), he needs something, hm...... Flashier. like fireball spells, but then again he's not really violent on the show and doesnt get into many fights (unlike SOMMMEEE people), so i'd say both Destruction and Restoration

BUT there's also Illusion magic, with which you seduce, make yourself shiny, paralyse, calm people etc and i cant think of a better analogy for guitar playing that stuns you and puts you into a trance because it's just so good

(also FYI nord males get a penalty in willpower and personality but i suppose he overcomes that, because i have trouble imagining him not heavily using skills governed by those stats)

and for the class- im forcing myself to pick from the set of 21 standard classes and looking at (this page) for reference because if i took custom classes into account it'd really complicate things-

an obvious answer'd be Bard, which makes sense because, you know, being popular and attractive, but in a gameplay sense it's more stealth and less magic (also if we picked bard just because he's a musician in the MTL universe, all other DK members would be bards too and that's pretty lame)

looking at the page i linked, the ''Healer'' class fits the bill, governing personality, willpower, destruction, restoration, speechcraft, and illusion. i wont lie, it doesnt sound the coolest (compare to a class desc like Nightblade, now that shit's awesome), but it makes the most sense to me

TL;DR nord by blood BUT looks and acts like a high elf, class: healer

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Toki Wartooth a nord as well but! i've met plenty of nord dudes in ES games who are really nice to me but kind of not too smart (think Thrud in Godsreach in Mornhould the city that came with Tribunal the DLC for TES3 Morrowind), and im not saying Toki isn't smart (he's educated enough, has geeky interests, knows a thing or two about model-plane building, i think he might be one of the smarter DK members actually) but a nearly-fatal flaw is his naivety which would unfortunately translate into a low intelligence or maybe personality stat in a TES game

when you have a low personality stat, NPCs dont like you as much, and (in Morrowind) whatever options you pick while Persuading an NPC are less effective, even taunt and intimidate)

but i wanna argue in the case of Toki in Tamriel, that low personality stat wouldn't come in the form of being an intimidating douchebag, because we all know Toki's really, really nice, and he has his moments of being a jerk on the show, but he's mostly kind and polite, especially to strangers, and *definitely* holds the title of ''Dethklok member most likely to agree to an autograph and selfie with a fan after a concert and then give them a friendly hug''

it's difficult for me to decide which attributes he'd govern, and a lowered luck isn't possible at character creation, but i'd lower it if possible

high strength, yes, i can imagine Toki with either a blunt or blade

high willpower, competent with restoration and destruction like Skwisgaar, but not as dedicated to the mastery, duh

high endurance- knowing the shit he's been through, might be pretty high

(''cheats death'' and ''unpredictable'' are both keywords i'd describe Toki by)

i have my eyes on either Crusader or Spellsword BUT I thought the class description for Scout fit Toki just perfect and I even made a little joke about it to my friend once

TL;DR nord spellsword or crusader, but i'd pick spellsword if i was forced to choose

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William Murderface

ive been so exicted to get to this one because, hear me out- khaijit pilgrim

Murderface's spirit animal is a dang tiger, man, and now it's true Murderface isn't very athletic or agile like a khaijit BUT listen, in Oblivion Khaijit get a daily power that let's them intimidate opponents because they're like, big cats, literally, like a tiger or lion and wouldn't you run if you saw one IRL? AND Murderface isnt very popular with fans, which I'd imagine would translate into low personality maybe, but Mface is dare i say pretty dang skilled at making people hate him or hate others or get into fights, aka using a high personality stat for bad (taunt/intimidate) not good (admire), which is why I instantly thought he'd be a Pilgrim (''They profit in life by bartering in the market, or by persuading the weak-minded.'')

look me in the eye and tell me lockpicking, sneaking and punching people arent things Murderface would love to do, also scamming merchants and stabbing people, and khaijit conveniently get a small bonus in Blade and you know who loves knives? M u r d e r f a c e

inappropiately urinating in places? cat. face like an inbred white tiger? cat. sneaky jerk? cat. also i just really want him to be a catboy, man

i did think of him as an Orc too because of the whole martial culture and being a race that was cursed with 'ugliness' (not always true, some orcs are pretty hot), *but* the martial culture orcs have isnt really the barfight kind nords or dunmer have, it's more organised and honourable is it not? they take fighting seriously

would you say Murderface'd rather practice like blunt weaponry all night and day, then go to war and die for his clan, *or* would he sneak in a tavern, steal shit, insult someone, then get into a bar fight? that's what i thought !!!!

fuckin obviously you cant appoint the latter to khaijit because that'd be racist and im not a huge fan of discrimination against beastfolk myself, an orc could be a thief too, but have a look at this:

(for orcs), and the minuses in intelligence is mostly what makes me think Murderface wouldnt be an orc because he's pretty smart

smart as in street-smart and smart with people, specifically at what makes people mad or do ugly things, and thats something I have to hand to Willy, he's cunning even if not always sucessful in that endeavor because of his bad luck and unattractiveness, but in terms of raw people-skills he's not so bad

and for his class- I know i said pilgrim earlier but i wanna consider some alternatives: rogue or thief

''a tongue as sharp as a blade'', and ''profits from the losses of others''? both Murderfacecore, but I might wanna stick with Pilgrim just because they're history nerds

TL;DR Khaijit pilgrim

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(this was an old wip i found in my drafts so i havent written Pickles's or Nathan's parts yet >_> sorry, i do have the ideas ready in my head though) (also feel free to share your opinions)

#adhd hyperfixation #ramble #tesblr #metalocalypse #the elder scrolls #skwisgaar skwigelf #toki wartooth #william murderface #nonner made this #urine m

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samsbastardzone · 4 years

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Hey, you know that 35 d&d questions ask meme? I answered all of them.

This is a long ass post. Be warned. It took up seven and a half pages in google docs. Original post here.

1. A favorite character you have played.

Would have to be Zize Fortier, dragonborn gunslinger. Their tag on this blog is #zize and you can find their bio and info on my character page. Love that bastard!! He’s sweet and bratty and a total delight to play (we are such an OP party, y’all).

2. Your favorite character that someone else has played.

UM UM gonna talk about a few here. To be fair to people I play a *lot* of games with, I’m only gonna talk about one PC per person.

- The bastard trio in my Wildemount game– @toomanyorphans ’s Nakoria, @overplannedbutunnamednpc ‘s Zier (also an NPC in the campaign Zize is in), and @glasyasbutch ‘s Nissy. They all really suck so bad but in SUCH funny ways. They’re varying degrees of self centered and awful, but we trust each other in this campaign, and those 3 players are SO funny in their RP.

- (RIP) Avri in my Wildemount game. They and Bly named each other,,,, they were parent and child…… VERY sweet. huge goliath with tiny bird in backpack.

- @bekahdoesnershit ‘s Raini. Zize’s BFF, and her tag on that blog is rich. She’s SUCH a bitch but we love her.

- @bhissar ‘s Saela. She is a dream character for me to DM for– very little fleshed out backstory with room to explore, with still-concrete events in it. Consistent character choices and personality, to the point I can sometimes predict what she’ll do. Very cool aesthetically. And overall? EXTREMELY sweet. Baby, baby bird.

3. Your favorite side quest.

Either the one going on right now in amnesia, where we have to collect brain matter from big powerful elementals, or the stop we made at a family of vampires in Acarnya (the one I played Osfyr in).

4. Your current campaign.

There are five of those, with two on hold.

-Wildemount, aka the Frozen Sick module from Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount (we’re almost done with that, my PC is Bly).

-Amnesia campaign aka high level campaign: we woke up in hell with no memories! PC is Zize.

-Hoard of the Dragon Queen module, near the beginning of that, PC is Pointy.

-Horror campaign, only two sessions so far, but we’re trapped in an alternate dimension carrying out tasks for a creepy dude. PC is Vinny.

-Kithan, where we’re high level monster hunting guild members searching out ancient artifacts of the gods (campaign based on the Monster Hunter games), PC is Topaz.

-Silas, party is currently trying to help dragons free themselves and stop a… dude? No spoilers! I DM. On hold because I had too many campaigns going at once.

-Silas v2: extremely vaguely based on the plot of season one of the web series Carmilla. A tweaked version of the first arc the Silas party went through. On hold because it was played in person at school.

5. Favorite NPC.

I don’t really have any NPCs in my campaigns that I’m super attached to, except– Nikeo, a goliath rogue PC in Silas 1, had many adopted children. Three of them– kobolds– sometimes stand on each others’ shoulders, put on a long coat, and help out around their parent’s store. They’ve named themselves Koby.

As for favorite NPCs in campaigns I’ve played, I can think of… a lot. The first is Laurel, a blue dragonborn loner type who followed Osfyr and friends in Acarnya. They were kind of broody and dark, but they really drew me in. They were the first NPC we really talked to– they were sitting on top of the post office laughing at the mob scene of people protesting not getting their mail delivered.

I’d also pick Osfyr’s partners in that campaign– Yelkian, a backstory love interest I came up with, a flamboyant soft sorcerer. Jupiter, politician’s niece, who took pity on Osfyr’s attempts to seduce information out of her and let them succeed on both counts (seduction and information). Xerxes, extra AF rogue with a big loving family, who swept in after a fight on the back of an eagle-wildshaped Brysth (npc druid).

There’s a blue dragon in the HOTDQ campaign that we don’t know much about. I really enjoyed the way @dungeonsanddraconicqueer played him. He’s just a dude! Lex’s warlock made a Deal with him to leave the town alone. We still don’t know the implications of that. It’s fine, guys.

And then, there’s Stewart the Skin Steward, a servant of False Mystra. Fun dude. Very cavalier– nigh, enthusiastic!– about the fact that his entire city was made of skin. Something of a skin connoisseur, in fact!

6. Favorite death (monster, player character, NPC, etc).

Saela, hands down. She got breathed on by a dragon, yo. We then had to stop playing for 4-5 months because a player lost access to the Internet. I wrote a vision/speech from her warlock patron, the Raven Queen, the night she died, and basically didn’t touch it until I read it out in game. It involved a confession that the Queen was tired of being a god, and showing Saela all the lives she’d touched. Then we used Matt Mercer’s rez rules for her. She came back– but it was her choice.

7. Your favorite downtime activity.

Fucking tinkering dude!!! I don’t get to do it enough as Zize and that is entirely my fault. @ morgan, eyes emoji

8. Your favorite fight/encounter.

I LOVE creepy shit. There was a train car with people dancing in it, and party members got enchanted to dance along and eat the food, and the revelers were clearly in pain, and snuffing out a candle caused a reveler to disappear. Creepy shit!

In Kithan, we had to climb a staircase, and we timed it with produce flame which is a 10 minute duration cantrip, and we were climbing for 50 minutes. We started to see things in the edges of our vision. Then someone realized it was an illusion, and it all vanished. It freaked me out so bad.

In amnesia campaign, at level 19, we were traversing a cave, and our shadows started dripping the same black goop we were there to investigate. We killed one and it took down the max hp of the person whose shadow it was, and then they straight up didn’t have a shadow until they long rested. It really freaked us out, realizing the shadows were actually creatures, but they were like CR 1. Really effective use of a low level monster.

9. Your favorite thing about D&D.

The way it has something for everyone… the way it’s brought me so many friends… the way it’s inspired my OC creation like nothing else.

10. Your favorite enemy and the enemy you hate the most.

I’m not sure if this is asking about NPCs I’ve had as enemies, or any monster in D&D canon? The longest campaign I played in didn’t have long term enemies per se. I’d say I was frustrated with the cultists that ambushed us last session in HOTDQ, but I didn’t hate them! I just couldn’t seem to hit or dodge them. As for a favorite… probably False Mystra: the demon lord Orcus who’d taken over the position, and therefore the duties, of Mystra, the god of arcane magic. We killed it, but then whoopso!! Our wizard lost her powers.

11. How often do you play and how often would you ideally like to play?

I play an ideal amount, honestly: four times a week, for about 2.5-3 hours a session. HOTDQ Tuesdays, Kithan and horror campaign switching off Wednesdays, Wildemount Thursdays cause we miss CR, Amnesia Sundays.

12. Your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from.

Amnesia: Yocheved, the party barbarian/full time fish, has a secret third arm and/or a prosthetic ass. Cylthia, the druid, does arson (but actually). Relentless is a Crown paladin, so she puts her fingers in her ears when we do crime/lie. She also has a rod of lordly might that, immediately post amnesia, she made into a 32 foot climbing pole. Yocheved eats pounds and pounds of raw fish for every meal.

Wildemount: just the shenanigans and sabotaging each other that the Bastard Trio get into. Example: Nissy was tasked with buying Zier a cloak for cold weather and purposely got him an ugly one. Zier then prestidigitated it to be a nicer color.

13. Introduce your current party.

Oh boy, I have 6 of those. Here goes. Keep in mind many of these characters are played and games are DMed by my friends who have OC blogs of their own: Raini and Ayen are bekahdoesnerdshit, Ezra, Nissy, and Roona are glasyasbutch, Horror DM, Lent, Eve, and Nakoria are toomanyorphans, Wildemount DM, Saela, Daecyne, and Cylthia are bhissar, HOTDQ DM is dungeonsanddraconicqueer, and Amnesia DM, Zier, Nyxi, and Sarril are overplannedbutunnamednpc. Not an OC blog, but Yocheved, Avri, Arbor, Thraf, Nikeo, and Whisper are mickgoesabsolutelyhamforbarbie.

Amnesia (Zize): Lent, tiefling paladin, former crownsguard who “fell” (became an oathbreaker), then un-fell when we lost our memories. Cylthia, tiefling/elf druid who can shift between tiefling and elf forms and loves setting things on fire. Yocheved, 14 foot tall nereid (fishfolk) barbarian with a dry sense of humor, is the party parent. And Raini, aasimar wizard, sass machine and Zize’s bff.

HOTDQ. My PC is Pointy. Ezra, quiet human paladin. Theata, moon elf rogue. Freya, sweet (human?) light cleric who sometimes misreads situations. Eve, 13 year old (!!) human warlock who kinda sucks, but like, she’s 13. Nyxi, motherly gnome bard who Is going to adopt Pointy.

Wildemount (Bly): Alene, human barbarian. Quiet and with somewhat of a parent instinct. Some sort of Mysterious Backstory. Delta, aasimar rogue, similarly shady backstory? Unclear. Sticks with Alene. Nissy, drow rune knight, sucks. Zier, drow sorcerer, also sucks. Nakoria, dragonborn warlock, ALSO sucks. (Those three make up the Bastard Trio.) Avri (F for them), goliath bard and Avri’s guardian, died last session by falling on a floor full of knives.

Horror campaign (Vinny): Roona, halfling bard, very impulsive, eats exclusively with her spoon that says ASS, and chills in Vinny’s fanny pack. Ayen, elven teenage warlock with a dark backstory. Sarril, Ayen’s not-dad, half elf beast barbarian who got it from his wife. Arbor, dryad monk, who wears an all white plague doctor outfit at all times.

Silas v1 (DM), Original party before 1 left and 1 died: Hacka (RIP), human luchador-styled drunken monk. Nikeo (left), goliath rogue with so many adopted children. Inferno, fire genasi paladin/phoenix sorcerer with anger and impulse control issues. Saela, babiest aarakocra warlock of the Raven Queen. Hacka’s player now plays Voda, a stoic water genasi tempest cleric who cast Raise Dead successfully on Saela. Nikeo’s player now plays Whisper, a tabaxi astral soul monk.

Kithan (Topaz): Thraf, monsterborn (universe-compliant dragonborn) barbarian. Very social, very outgoing, very stupid, and very traumatized. Fucks majorly. Daecyne, sweet tiefling druid and Topaz’s good friend. Viosa, aasimar homebrew class I forget the name of, uses her small stature and allure to her advantage. Damur, half-orc eldritch knight, the party’s only braincell.

14. Introduce any other parties you have played in or DM-ed.

Acarnya. My PC was Osfyr. Soraphine, traumatized halfling bard. Azalea, human fighter. Durzuell, haughty high elf sorcerer. James, nerdy half elf wizard. Drago, erratic Russian dragonborn monk. Kairon, slightly edgy ranger/paladin (but we love him).

Nordenheim. My PC was Cap. I will admit: we only played 2 or 3 sessions, so I don’t really remember most of the other party members except Rory, a fire genasi ranger who almost burned to death.

Silas v2 (hopefully will continue; I DMed): Kysseris IV. Half-elf paladin, uptight. Tower 1-6, warforged wizard who crawled out of the desert and is looking for info on how he was made. Mae “Pock”, gnome rogue, very small and sweet. Josh, human trickery cleric, kind of an asshole, but in a way that’s funny and hasn’t bled over into IRL annoying.

[school] West Marches campaign (Ner): by the nature of West Marches, there was never a consistent party, but a few stood out to me. Red Foot, a hyperactive kobold sorcerer who’s level 8 against all West Marches odds. Lyra, Great Old One warlock of Tzee’Mhor, an abomination goat that a party I was in accidentally created. Fildo Baggins, divination wizard who can only affect allies whose toenail clippings he has in his vial.

15. Do you have snacks during game times?

Hell yeah babey!!! I mostly play digitally, especially during COVID, and I need something to munch after DMing for a while. Shit’s exhausting.

16. Do you play online or in person? Which do you prefer?

Welp! Online mostly, since everyone I want to play with has the audacity to live far away, and now exclusively online because of COVID.

17. What are some house rules that your group has?

Our Amnesia party is so rich that we just don’t keep track of money. In Kithan, a lot of rules that make characters less powerful are just… abolished (like the bonus action spell rule). (The DM likes super OP characters so she can throw SUPER OP monsters at us. My character has a necklace that gives 5 additional uses of channel divinity.)

18. Does your party keep any pets?

Nope. No opportunities for them. Zize’s party has a little water snake on the druid’s arm but I doubt that will last very long.

19. Do you or your party have any dice superstitions?

Absolutely. Cursed dice get j a i l.

20. How did you get into D&D? How long have you been playing?

Acarnya got me into d&d, it was my first campaign, and it was happening at the place I lived. I’ve been playing almost 2 years. (Critical Role inspired me to DM)

21. Have you ever regretted something your character has done?

Not sent a fucking letter to say goodbye to their boyfriend before the world-fate-deciding bullshit that was gonna happen and possibly destroy shit. It was fine in the end though!

22. What color was your first dragon?

Red. Man, that guy sucked, he almost killed Osfyr. We were investigating a monastery secretly run by dragons disguised as humans.

23. Do you use premade modules or original campaigns?

Original campaigns. I’ve never run a module before! I’m not opposed, but most of my campaigns came from ideas that I had. I’ve never been short on ideas for a game.

24. How much planning/preparation do you do for a game?

As a player, I just open my character sheet and get out dice. As a DM, I try and think about what material I want to get through this session, and write some narration and/or stat things out if I feel like it.

For DMs

25. What have your players done that you never could have planned for?

A lot of times, Inferno has rushed into battle from what I’d built as a stealth mission, and gotten her ass and sometimes the party’s asses kicked. I should really have learned by now.

26. What was your favorite scene to write and show your characters?

Definitely Saela’s resurrection ritual and vision.

27. Do you allow homebrew content?

Yes! I’ll check it first, but I’m all for expanding the boundaries. I homebrew items and monsters all the time, why shouldn’t my payers get to homebrew their shit?

28. How often do you use NPCs in a party?

Too often in my first arc. I had like 7 NPCs running around at all times (they were Carmilla characters). Super not recommended. I have 0 right now.

29. Do you prefer RP heavy sessions or combat sessions?

I’m still finding my groove with RP as a DM. I like encouraging my players to RP amongst themselves. I consider myself fairly good at combat on both sides of the equation, DM and player, so that’s always fun to me, especially when my players enjoy it too.

30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos?

I have one actively reforming murder hobo player, the rest are diplomatic. (The character, Inferno, is having a great growth arc. I’m super proud.)

For Players

31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race?

I fucking love genasi as a concept. Favorite class would have to be rogue or cleric, but gunslinger’s up there too.

32. What role do you like to play the most? (Tank/healer/etc?)

I honestly don't have the patience to not play DPS. I love doing lots of damage. Healing is satisfying, support is satisfying, but there’s a reason I picked rogue twice and tempest cleric over other domains.

33. How do you write your backstory, or do you even write a backstory?

Sometimes the backstory is part of the character concept– especially for Pointy, because I had the name first, then went hmm why would she have this name. Almost always, though, more backstory gets written during the campaign when I have an idea. Sometimes a character will act in a way I don’t expect, and it’s fun thinking of a justification to fill backstory gaps.

34. Do you tend to pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?

Mostly usefulness honestly. I’ll make choices among several for flavor, but I’m a big proponent of using mechanics to build character. What I mean is, think about Magnus in TAZ Balance– his protection fighting style contributed a lot to the way Travis played him as a protective person. I love that shit.

35. How much roleplay do you like to do?

I like to do a lot, but unfortunately my energy is pretty down lately so I haven’t been doing as much.

#zize #pointy #cap #bly #osfyr #ner #vinny #topaz #dm thots #meta thots #asks #amnesia campaign #hotdq #horror campaign #wildemount campaign #silasverse #kithan

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certified-dumbass · 5 years

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Hitman Iskall

So, i saw ur spinel!npc grian au @npcdrawsthings , and i thought "i want hitman iskall writen out!" Then i remembered im a writer and i can do it myself. So here! I made a mini fic lol!

The sharp scythe sliced through Iskall, shimmering a painful red. The wielder; a short man with a red sweatshirt, very pale skin and robotic eyes; drew the red hollagraph back towards himself, smiling a smile of someone who lost his mind years ago.

The real Grian rushed forward, falling to his knees in front of his friend, grabbing their shoulders, the Sahara logo looming behind him. He began sobbing and let out a shuddering wail.

“HOW COULD YOU??” He screeched as his counterpart simply kept smiling his robotic smile.

“You’re next!” NPC Grian giggled, disappearing into nothingness.

The builder looked down at his friend, expecting to see blood soaking through his lime green suit, but instead, the suit was turning black. Where the blood would have spilled, a black fabric peaked through. Where it touched the person's skin, it turned weathered and tanned, with scars running up and down his arms and chest. Worst of all, where it should have touched their green slime wings, the wings just vanished. It was like a horrid transformation, a twisted switch.

Grian picked up his friend and started flying over to his base, spamming rockets and crying, not even thinking about the black fabric. The wind battered the two of them, prematurely drawing tears from G’s eyes. He reached the top of his tall base, diving straight to the bottom without a question. He went straight over to the nearest bed and set down the unconscious person, taking his hand.

“No, no, no, Iskall…” he trailed off. What did that scythe even do? Why were they changing? Why was there no blood?

These questions ran through his mind as he sat there, watching the ugly transformation occur. Late into the night, right as he began nodding off from exhaustion, Iskall sat up, looking around. He was now completely the new person, with a black suit and their diamond eye turning red. He scanned the room like he was searching for threats. He finally turned his head towards the sleeping man and gently pulled his hand away. They got up quickly, silently, pulling out their sword with the precision of someone who had done it a million times.

Stalking around behind his supposed captor, he drew back his sword to strike. But for some reason he hesitated. It was like he had seen this person, this place before… No time for that. They backed away, trying to find a way out, some sort of ladder or something, or maybe a staircase.

No such luck, so he decided to confront his captor face to face, in one on one combat. Finding a little nook, they climbed up the mountain of chests and settled themselves in one of the three looming pillars, and sat down to wait. He was very accustomed to waiting, his job as a hitman had made sure of that. Staring at the man, they looked him over.

Messy, sandy blond hair, like he had just walked out of a hurricane. A red turtle neck that was a size too large. Blue jeans that were slim fitting and black high top sneakers. Large, feathery white wings protruded from his back, spilling over the back of his chair. He seemed harmless enough, but Iskall already knew looks could be deceiving.

So they waited. And waited. And waited.

Almost five hours had passed when Iskall felt the slight inkling of being bored. Picking up the nearest thing he could find- an anvil- he decided to wake up this winged fellow.

Balancing it over the gap, they dropped it right next to him, sending him into a fluttering, surprised mess. Although Iskall found it mildly amusing, he showed no emotion. The captor whirled around, staring directly at them.

“Iskall? You’re awake?? And okay??” Grian was ecstatic but also confused. Where were his wings? Why wasn’t he laughing?

The twisted Iskall scowled, which was the opposite of what the builder thought he would do. It kind of scared him.

“How do you know my name?” They growled.

“You- you’ve been my best friend all season?” Grian was shocked. This had to be some sort of prank.

They leaped down while pulling their sword out, not taking any fall damage. Definitely not a prank.

Stalking forward, they began to question him, “Who are you?”

“I’m uhh- I mean- Grian, but-”

“How do you know my name?”

“I’ve known you for- you and I- we knew each other for forever?”

“How long have I been here?”

“My base? About- I mean- almost a day,”

“What are you talking about ‘seasons?”

“I really think you should just lie down-”

“Quiet!” Iskall snapped at him, turning his attention back to the exits, wonder how to leave.

“How do I get out?”

“You really don't seem to be in the best condition too-”

Iskall suddenly leapt towards Grian, his sword grazing his throat, “I need to leave, now. Now, how do I get out?”

Whatever that scythe had done, this sure wasn’t Iskall anymore.

#hermitcraft #mineblr #minecraft #ideas plz!#lol i know its bad #grian #iskall #iskall85 #grianmc #hermitblr

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homespork-review · 4 years

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Homespork Act 4, Part 1: Blight of the Paradox Clones

BRIGHT: Act 4 opens on a loading sequence titled ‘GATE 1’, and then there’s a short pan down through firefly-dotted clouds to a dim blue landscape called the Land of Wind and Shade. John manifests at ground-level and it’s time for another walk-around game!

The icon in the upper right corner opens a conversation with Nannasprite, who’s still back in the house. Apparently she can’t accompany John around the Land, but she can certainly give him puzzling half-answers to any questions he might have. John asks her point-blank if she was always cryptic and evasive or if that’s a sprite thing, but she predictably avoids answering.

John wanders around the Land, getting into fights with (oddly non-aggressive) imps for grist. The Land is very atmospheric, with glowing blue mushrooms and odd pipes everywhere. It’s also inhabited by large, excitable, bipedal orange salamanders who blow bubbles and dispense information about the Land. One of them has acquired John’s bedsheets and is now calling itself a wizard.

A salamander standing by one of the pipes explains that it’s called a Parcel Pyxis. If you need something, you can chisel a picture of whatever it is into a stone tablet and drop it into a Parcel Pyxis. If you find a tablet, and you have what’s carved into it, it’s polite to drop it into the Pyxis and the Breeze will take it where it needs to go. (Just what the Breeze is isn’t explained yet, but given the name of the Land, it’s fair to assume an explanation will be forthcoming in due time, and it’s thematically consistent.)

While wandering, John finds a telescope. Looking through it, he sees his house, perched waaaaaay at the top of a very tall, very narrow rocky crag. He also finds a very large pipe sunk into the ground. He can hear something very, very big breathing at the bottom.

There are definite pros and cons to these games, but on the whole I like them. They’re more immersive than the usual comic panels, and it’s nice to do some self-directed wandering. On the other hand, it’s easy to miss something in a walk-around game, which hardly ever happens with comic panels…

FAILURE ARTIST: The Salamanders crack me up. Good parody of NPC chatter.

CHEL: Comic panels of the walkaround are included later on, so if you really hate the games you can read it straightforwardly.

John is confused by now being below his house when he went through a portal above it; Nanna cryptically claims that “To ascend, you must first descend!”

BRIGHT: With the game out of the way (it doesn’t really have a defined end point), we return to normal comic panels — and also to the future. AR is embroiled in a shootout with the snakes from PM’s ship, which are now firing laser beams. A stray blast decapitates the frog temple. AR returns fire with a rocket launcher. His first shot takes out the snake. The second knocks WV flying. WV lands behind a rock, and the carved pumpkin lands on his head. AR lines up his next shot...and pauses.

The carved image of Bec’s head seems to mean something to AR, because he immediately ceases fire and comes down to start yelling at WV. This turns out to be a poor move on his part: PM still has her sword, and she is not pleased.

I really, really like PM as a character. She has no dialogue whatsoever and still projects massive amounts of integrity.

The comic returns to Jade. She’s retrieved Dave’s Sburb discs from the time capsule, which is clearly going to move the plot along...

Looks like the TIME CAPSULE has reset itself. It is sprouting a new bud. Presumably something else will come out when it blooms again in about 400 years. Too bad you won't be around to find out what it is!

...aaaaaaand we go into sylladex shenanigans again.

I will say this for sylladex tomfoolery: It absolutely can break up tension and provide some lighter stretches in the plot. The problem is that these don’t always feel natural. I find them less annoying now and can appreciate the humour, but they really bugged me the first time around.

Still, Jade’s use of her sylladex does at least speak to her character.

Jade eventually settles on Pictionary modus, which means she has to draw a picture of whatever she wants to captchalogue. If she doesn’t have the drawn item to hand, her modus instead captures a “ghost image” of the item on a card, complete with alchemiter code. Handy! Unfortunately the modus has some trouble understanding Jade’s drawings, interpreting her picture of her eclectic bass as a regular electric bass.

Bec then catches up and teleports Jade back to her room. In a demonstration of unusual good sense, Jade promptly gets on with installing the Sburb Beta.

Back in the Land of Wind and Shade, John pesters Rose to ask if she’s here on the other side of the gate, in the “spooky glowy place with oily rivers and stuff”. She doesn’t respond. He does however get pestered by Jade, who is now awake and therefore fully aware of what Sburb is (much to John’s confusion). She tells him to go get his copy of the game so he can be her server player. John is convinced Jade is psychic, but she tells him that he has access to all the information she does, he just doesn’t know it yet.

Meanwhile, Dave is also trying to get in touch with Rose, also to no effect. Jade pesters him and they have a cute conversation in which Jade forgets how a reference goes, but Dave assures her she got it anyway. She tells him she’s setting up as his server player and shows him a picture of the meteor aimed at his house. There are no size comparison points available but Jade assures him that it’s really, really big.

TG: well as if like one the size of a bus wouldnt kill me anyway

FAILURE ARTIST: Dave describes his beating from his Guardian as “i got served like a dude on butler island” and Jade says it’s “(DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA)”. It’s hard to take the abuse seriously when none of the characters do.

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 14

BRIGHT: In the Medium, John is getting pestered by carcinoGeneticist again. We now have a picture icon for CG. Look familiar? Yup, it’s the guy from the end of the Intermission.

So I guess this is the first time in the main comic that we get confirmed, visual proof that the trolls are aliens? It’s hard to point to, since the trolls get introduced gradually.

I’ve no idea how this was received in fandom when it first happened, but by the time I got to Homestuck, the fact that the trolls were grey folks with horns was probably the most famous feature of the canon, so...not so much of an impact. Still pretty cool though.

FAILURE ARTIST: I wish I could remember how the fandom took it.

The trolls in these early acts make a big deal all the time about how they are alien and the kids are human. It’s an amusing parody of the way aliens act in fiction but it is weird when the trolls become actual characters and we find out their psychology is surprisingly human most of the time.

CHEL: Hence the WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM count. That’ll spike later.

BRIGHT: CG is unexpectedly friendly this time. Apparently he’s been trolling John backwards through time, which is frustrating as each earlier John knows less and less, so CG keeps having to repeat himself. (Which...doesn’t make much sense? He’d have to explain more obvious stuff, sure, but John would remember things he was told in later-from-CG’s-perspective conversations, so...ugh, time travel!) Despite this frustration, however, John’s relentless friendliness apparently wore the trolls down and now they’re friends. Or at least CG thinks they are. John is less than convinced.

CHEL:

John asks if the trolls are in his land, but CG berates him for self-centredness:

CG: WE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR DUMB LITTLE WINDY PLANET OR YOUR PETTY LITTLE QUESTS. CG: OR FOR THAT MATTER YOUR ENTIRE GAME SESSION. CG: YOU AREN'T THE ONLY ONES PLAYING THE GAME. CG: EVERY GROUP OF PLAYERS GETS THEIR OWN DISTINCT, BLANK SLATE SESSION. CG: AS WILL BE EXPLAINED TO YOU MANY TIMES.

He instructs John to relay an apology for the trolling to Jade and to tell her to GET HER GROSS AND TOTALLY UNATTRACTIVE HUMAN BUTT OFF HER UGLY HUMAN HIGH HORSE AND ANSWER MY MESSAGES. John says he’s a bit focused on his own quest right now, and sets off to find his father’s car.

TIER: While that's happening, we cut back to the gaggle of aliens having a grand old time around a campfire with some good food. A familiar pair of squiddles, now old, is visible as well.

FAILURE ARTIST: AR/PM/WV was a popular OT3 back in the day but you never see it anymore.

CHEL: Pity. It’s adorable.

FAILURE ARTIST: We cut to Dave’s place, where Jade is setting things up for the game. The air conditioning unit helps with the process, but the birds everywhere don’t. Dave drops the r-slur.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 16

Rose also talks with Dave as this is going on. She says this to him.

TT: I've done nothing but wait for boys to play this game with me all day. TT: First John lollygagging with the client, and then you with the server, downright filibustering my existence with unending fraternal melee. TT: And yet a girl, one who didn't even own the game, was able to connect with you minutes after you connected with me.

I’ve seen this quoted as Rose/Jade Lesbian Power but I wish we had more scenes where the two actually talked to each other.

CHEL: Being happy that one of your friends is competent means you’re in love with them now? And yet if someone used that as evidence for a het ship they’d be run out of the fandom. Anyway, Jade removes Dave’s bed to make room.

TT: And there she goes. TT: She HAS the karma.

FAILURE ARTIST: Rose has been talking to a troll, but she doesn’t know the gender so uses “he/she/it”. Funny to think there was a time when we didn’t know the trolls’ gender. Particularly the gender of Rose’s favorite troll...

Jade tries to tidy up the apartment using “a woman’s touch” a.k.a. a towel drenched in toilet water. Which begs the question of how her home is spotless.

CHEL: Because Hussie is again not thinking through the implications of the living situations as presented, and/or trying to present things as simultaneously a joke and serious. To be fair, considering the dreambot, she could have a super hi-tech cleaning system, or Bec could teleport the dirt away, but if so, we ought to see that.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 10 ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 15

FAILURE ARTIST: In doing so, she accidentally rips the toilet out and drops an F-bomb.

CHEL: We now get a video of Rose’s location, the LAND OF LIGHT AND RAIN. Her house is now perched on a tiny island surrounded by glimmering pastel oil-slick-looking water, a waterfall pouring down out of nowhere beside it, with golden clouds scattered around pouring rain. It’s very pretty!

We again see the carapaces finding things in the ruins, and WV brings PM to see inside the bunker. The blast earlier formed an entry into the third room which had been locked, which contains further devices, this one with more spirographs and a frog picture on it; WV doesn’t know what this one does and the power’s too low to use it anyway. Back in the room with the monitors, PM is impressed by WV’s drawings and he offers her the pack of chalk. AR, meanwhile, cooks food.

PM recognises the monitor as similar to the one in her own station, though hers was watching a girl. Here, we get the static panels of the runaround game, from PM’s point of view.

Back in LoLaR, a mysterious textbox in cursive addresses Rose as Seer, suggesting she explore. Recall that the book mentioned the Heir of Breath, the Seer of Light, the Witch of Space, and the Knight of Time. Since Jade is the one who’s been doing the Seer-ing so far, I’ve seen readers assume she was the Seer and Rose the Witch, but it seems not; further explanations of what those titles really mean are forthcoming.

Sudden cut back to John’s land, where the village is under attack! Huts are aflame, and much bigger and more powerful monsters have arrived.

In Dave’s apartment, Jade opens the cruxtruder by dropping the displaced toilet on it, splashing water everywhere, much to Dave’s aggravation since all that juice was going to come back to haunt me. He’s relieved to see the countdown gives him four hours, but Jade doesn’t know till what, and he realises she’s sleep-messaging him again. He orders her not to watch him pee, and dont put anything weird in the seizure kernel.

TG: the last thing i need is for your weird brain webcam to be snapping shots of my dong TG: your grandpa was a sick fuck why would he build a voyeurbot for a little girl CALL CPA PLEASE: 8

Well, he is kinda right. Anyway, Dave spends a couple of pages elaborately planning misuse of the apple juice bottle and tricking John into drinking from the alchemised bottle, but he dismisses it as too much trouble and goes in the shower, kicking out the puppet. Good thing it was only his bladder that was the problem, if you get my drift. Some fans have speculated that this puppet also had a camera in it, but I can’t see evidence of that; I guess if you squint the eyes might look like a camera lens? I feel if that was the case it would have been shown. Hussie didn’t shy away from the weird shit with Dave’s living situation earlier.

Jade is upset to find the bisected bird from earlier, and decides to help the bird by putting it in the Kernelsprite, angering Dave again. He figures she’ll be more helpful when she’s awake, so he instructs her to slap the air to her side; the dreambot mimics her movements and whacks the real Jade in the face, waking her up.

BRIGHT: I burst out laughing the first time I saw that panel. It’s pretty clever of Dave. (Though obviously not kind, but of a variety that’s in keeping with the story.)

CHEL: Cut to the carapace camp, where they’re burning empty crates for a campfire. AR decides to use the Squiddles to Win over that fine carapace in grey, which seems to distress WV and Serenity. PM takes a Squiddle, but rather than being won over is vaguely reminded of something.

TIER: We then jump back into the past, where we find a totalled car and what looks like AR?

CHEL: Yep, though here he’s going by Authority Regulator instead of Aimless Renegade.

TIER: Whatever the case, this dude is not happy with this traffic violation. Another thing he's not happy with? Unauthorized parcels. Which brings us to the Parcel Mistress, who's been looking for this particular package for a while apparently. Now how to get it?

With that we jump back to John! Who's doing decent enough in his clobbering of game enemies. Just when things ain't looking too hot though, a mysterious stranger shoots and kills them with extreme prejudice. He looks familiar ain't he?

And even if he's not, that gigantic book under his arm can only be the work of the ol’ Colonel Sassacre, which John helpfully points out.

CHEL: Meanwhile in some other time period, PM suddenly remembers she must deliver a message to John. Back in the present, Parcel Mistress, for it is she, finds a tablet carved (badly) by John, depicting the SBurb envelope. The prompt suggests PM ready her sword, but she has none, and claims she would never resort to violence. Instead, she tries asking politely. Despite their lands’ enmity, AR finds her attractive and doffs his hat so furiously you are in danger of starting a HAT FIRE. His civility does not extend to handing over contraband, though. The tablet is sufficient evidence for him to give her the envelope, but to get the green parcel she must ask his bosses. PM puts the envelope in a pyxis, trusting the Breeze to move it, and follows AR.

John plans to follow the man, who he does not yet recognise as Jade’s Grandpa, to get his book back, but first he must help put out the fire in the salamander village. He flings the BARBASOL BOMB he made earlier into the volcano.

The cooling lather should work its magic in no time…

OH GOD HOW CAN SHAVING CREAM BE SO FLAMMABLE

Yeah, that doesn’t work so well. Fortunately, just as all seems lost, A big gust of wind conveniently comes along and blows out all the fire. The salamanders declare John a hero, though he’s just confused.

FAILURE ARTIST: A prompt (PM) asks John if he still has the tablet and if he wants to carve something on it. So, in another time loop, he does that.

Back at LOLAR, a very elegant and mysterious prompt ask Rose to find Jaspersprite. Rose cannot find him, but she does find footprints leading to the mausoleum. The mausoleum isn’t there anymore, but the underground passage is still there. Rose takes it down to a pier where someone has recently taken a boat and left a martini. The mysterious prompt says “A mother will do whatever is best for her children.” Nobody ever said “a brother will do whatever is best for his siblings”.

In the future, WV becomes the Mayor of Exile Town. The peace is disturbed when a “huge eggy looking thing” appears in the sky.

Cut to Jade giving the punch card of an “eggy loking thign (sic)”. Guess someone on the forum had bad spelling?

CHEL: It’s a callback to Rose describing the other unfinished GameFAQs entries, which were typed in haste. One described their entry item that way.

FAILURE ARTIST: Dave creates a huge red bird with a huge red egg. When he tries to use the egg, the crow sprite takes it and puts it in a nest made of smuppets, swords, and Lil Cal.

Dave doesn’t have enough grist to do anything. He fusses around building what he can. That done, he goes inside and installs gristTorrent to steal grist from John. Who exactly made that software?

Meanwhile, in LOLAR, Rose has set up shop on the pier. The mysterious prompter tells her to consult with the Heir and in the pesterlog we see she’s chatting with John. They catch up on the trolls and various things. Unfortunately, Rose is harassed by a gallowsCalibrator who tells her in 133t speak that her mother hates her and left her forever. Amazing that GC eventually becomes a beloved character since they are such a little shit right now. GC has synesthesia and jokes about their species communicating through “CLOUDS OF FR4GR4NT G4S3S”. They want to be helpful, but they deny wanting to be friends, though later they say they are becoming something called “H4T3FR13NDS”.

CHEL: Rose asks if I'm being courted or trolled here, which with further reveals about the trolls will become somewhat ironic. Other trolls are jumping around in time but GC is ST4Y1NG L1N34R [...] C4US3 W31RD T1M3 STUFF G1V3S ME A H34D4CHE, though will jump forward in the timeline so they don’t have to wait too long between conversations.

BRIGHT: GC isn’t the only one...

FAILURE ARTIST: GC explains the voices in the players’ heads are from the Exiles on Earth. The ultimate goal is to create a new civilization with them. With that important information, GC bids adieu for now.

TT: So the exiles are on Earth? Does that mean our goal is to get back there too? To resurrect it somehow? GC: NO NO NO GC: S33 1RON1C4LLY TH3Y G3T TO DO TH4T GC: 4FT3R TH3YR3 DON3 H3LP1NG YOU TH4T 1S GC: YOUR JOB 1S OF GR34T3R CONS3QU3NC3 TO S4Y TH3 L34ST GC: BUT P4RT OF TH31R JOB 1S TO R3BU1LD L1F3 4ND C1V1L1Z4T1ON TH3R3 GC: 4ND 1F TH3YR3 SUCC3SSFUL 1N THOUS4NDS OR M1LL1ONS OF Y34RS TH3 T3CHNOLOGY 1S UN34RTH3D 4ND TH3 PL4N3T 1S R1P3 FOR S33D1NG 4LL OV3R 4G41N TT: You never answered the question. Where were they exiled from? GC: FROM TH3 TWO K1NGDOMS 1N TH3 1NC1P1SPH3R3 GC: 3XP4TR14T3D DUR1NG TH3 R3CKON1NG

CHEL: We now know who and what the Exiles are, so let’s lop off a point for that:

WHAT IS HAPPENING??: 8

FAILURE ARTIST: Back in the past, when John went by ghostyTrickster, he tries to have a conversation with Jade but it’s interrupted by CG warning her that her robot will explode. After CG leaves, Jade and John talk about the trolls. Seems blocking does no good. John drops the r-slur.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 17

We cut to CG being gray and angry in some mysterious grey room.

Then, back to Jade. Her package from her pen-pal appears again.

Cut to ghostyTrickster John. GC trolls him, outs herself as female and blind, and threatens to cut his throat “4ND L1ST3N TO YOU BL33D WH1L3 1 SM3LL YOU D13”. John is naturally unnerved by this, but he also takes inspiration from her taunt that he’s bad at ectobiology.

CHEL: He takes for his new username a term that the trolls introduced him to, and is surprised when they immediately find him? Maybe we DID need a Too Dumb To Live count.

FAILURE ARTIST: We cut to a troll like CG, but with red glasses and a Libra sign on her shirt. This is our first look at gallowsCallibrator.

CHEL: Okay, does the death threat qualify for SEND THEM TO THE SLAMMER? It’s a bit extreme considering at this point in his timeline John has done nothing to offend her. Then again, maybe not; the narrative doesn’t present this as being the right and proper thing to do.

Back in the present, PM arrives in enemy territory, with the parking citation as a ready excuse for her presence. Imps and agents she passes now have features from Jaspersprite; cat faces, princess hats, and we see a DD-like figure wearing a cat-ear headband. PM follows a red carpet, only to be confronted at the end by this eldritch-looking majesty:

PM is naturally trembling, but is merely instructed to speak to the Archagent, who we’ve met before; Jack Noir. We see a ring with four pearl-like orbs on the monarch’s hand; this will become important later.

Rose’s Exile voice bids her farewell, telling her to Find your sprite. Realise your purpose. No longer guided, Rose decides to start making her own decisions, beginning with a sip of martini.

In the desert, A WINDSWEPT QUESTANT suddenly appears, this being a tall white carapace with a feminine figure and narrow eyes, from the eggy lokin thign, with the unsound effect EGG! WV and AR appear disconcerted, while PM is busy telling John to put the carved tablet in the pyxis.

Back in Jack Noir’s office, PM attempts to grab the green box and leave, but Jack appears suddenly behind her, making her jump, and tells her she’d better have the ticket payment or you are wasting valuable time he could otherwise spend shirking his clerical duties. PM nervously explains she’s actually here for the package, and Jack points out she doesn’t have the right courier forms.

In spite of how he's supposed to be dressed now but isn't, he ain't nobody's fool.

However, instead, she could always do an errand for him. Specifically, following his HIT LIST, which is two pictures of white crowns recognisable as the tops of the king and queen chess pieces. He also gives her the enormous black sword we saw her future self use. PM, terrified, departs, and Jack wonders if she’s actually stupid enough to try it.

You make a policy of handing out a REGISWORD and a HITLIST to just about everyone who enters your office.

Curious, he opens the package, and stares into it in surprise.

At Dave’s apartment, Jade has put the Punch Designix in the hallway, making it rather hard to navigate, but regardless Dave’s busy alchemising. He plays with a few add-ons which temporarily render the machines unusable, but eventually manages to use a jumper shunty thing to consolidate all the machines into one. Jade draws some components, gets the captcha codes of their ghost images, and sends the codes to Dave, who plugs them into the machine. Useful, but could probably be compressed into fewer pages, especially when he follows it up by playing with the new machinery. This is adding to my conviction that the machines should have been simplified severely in the first place.

GET ON WITH IT!: 15

John finds the wrecked car with no dad, package, or game, and gets trolled by GC again. She offers to help him, claiming she wants to H3LP YOU 4DV4NC3 MOR3 QU1CKLY because she’s bored watching his long adventure and wants to help him skip ahead. John points out she could just skip forward on the timeline as she has before, and she admits that she just wants to see if she can change the timeline, as her friends don’t believe they can. She offers him a map, which he accepts.

John complains, naturally, and she relents and offers to guide him directly to the pipe which will help him skip to the next Gate. Honestly, he has reason to complain; her smellovision allows her to read text on a screen, yet not to draw?

Rose, back in LOLAR, battles monsters, doing surprisingly well considering she only has knitting needles for a weapon, culminating in an epic sequence in which she stabs both needles into an ogre’s eyes, flips onto its back, and uses her knitting as reins to ride it down the waterfall. Dave informs her he’s out of grist, but she finds the idea of killing the ogre for supplies when it’s unconscious to be distasteful. He’s interrupted by grimAuxiliatrix, The Troll Who Talks Like This, asking about Rose. The conversation is awkward as GA seems unable to read Dave’s sarcasm.

GA: She Perhaps Even Regards You With Uh GA: Endearment TG: you have no idea dude she is so in my grill TG: like a stray hotdog that rolled down there TG: and now its too much trouble to fish out with the tongs TG: so you just watch it like crack and turn black GA: Um Is This GA: A Common Sort Of Practice In Human Courtship GA: Watching Oblong Meat Products Tumble Into Places They Dont Belong

adiosToreador, meanwhile, does the same to Rose about Dave, with a similar lack of comprehension of Rose’s loquaciousness. GA contacts Rose again, and a confusing conversation about temporal mechanics ensues. Afterwards, we see GA, who proves to be a short-haired troll girl with pronged horns, a Virgo shirt symbol (my troll!), and cute little vampire teeth.

FAILURE ARTIST: It’s been too long for me to remember the fandom reaction, but I feel like the reveal that GA is a girl was framed like a surprise. Surprise! This troll is a lesbian! But I might be mistaken. Still, this isn’t like Dave’s (mock?) offended reaction to AT. Hussie, like many straight men, is more comfortable with lesbians than gay men.

We’ll see more of Rose’s and GA’s relationship as the comic goes on. Some non-Homestucks here might already be spoiled due to the numerous fanart of the two.

CHEL: I wasn’t surprised by her being a girl; maybe I’m stereotyping, but the prissy nature of her dialogue and quirk sounded feminine to me from the start, not to mention the “trix” ending of her username is a feminine one - if she was male, it would be “auxiliator”. Not sure how many people paid attention to that though. I was surprised by the later information that (SPOILER) she actually was interested in Rose, because facetious declarations of romantic intention are kind of a thing for the human kids at this point and her flustered reaction could be taken either way here.

Dave, meanwhile, is trolled by AT, with the most cringe-inducing text-rap I’ve ever seen (and text-rapping is pretty cringy to begin with). I gotta praise Hussie, it takes skill to make something this awful.

AT: oK, lET ME, AT: oRGANIZE MY NOTES HERE, AT: oKAYYY, AT: (tURN ON SOME STRICT BEATS MAYBE, iT WILL HELP TO LISTEN TO THEM WHILE i DESTROY YOU,) AT: wHEN THE POLICE MAN BUSTS ME, aND POPS THE TRUNK, AT: hE'S ALL SUPRISED TO FIND I'M TOTING SICK BILLY, AT: wHOSE, AT: gOAT IS THAT, hE ASKS, wHILE HE STOPS TO THUNK AT: aBOUT IT, aND i'S JUST SAY IT'S DAVE'S, yOU SILLY AT: gOOSE,

Since we’ll later find out trolls don’t have the concept of police in the same way humans do, and nor do they call animals by the same names we do, I think this is worth some WSP points. Did he watch Dave’s life closely enough to pick up those concepts?

BRIGHT: I get the distinct impression none of the trolls watched anything like enough of the kids’ lives to pick up the concept of the police, particularly since as we’ll see later they missed a few things that are rather more obvious -- such as, say, parents.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 11

CHEL: He also namedrops Prospit and Derse, which I’m not really spoiling anything by saying are the names of the two warring chess kingdoms, though I don’t think those names have been applied to them yet. I don’t know why, it’s not like keeping them secret makes a big difference - did Hussie only just think of them? The quality of his rhymes aside, AT appears very proud of himself; he’s a troll with enormous bull-like horns, a mohawk, and a Taurus symbol. I thought he was really creepy-looking the first time I saw him, but he rather grew on me.

Back on LOWAS, John is squirted out of a pipe with a gush of oil. Ew. The Con Air bunny goes flying and lands in an oil river, and he catches it with the Ghost Gauntlets. An adult and child pair of salamanders happen to be standing nearby, prompting a movie re-enactment, much to the salamanders’ confusion.

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CG is unimpressed, though he agrees with John that Con Air sounds entertaining. CG claims to have been watching the whole of John’s life and Con Air is supposed to be one of John’s favourite movies; how come CG hasn’t seen any of it before, especially since he says he has seen a movie John hates?

CG: OK I DON'T SEE HOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE BECOMING FRIENDS IF YOU RECOIL FROM MY OLIVE BRANCH LIKE I'M WIGGLING A GNARLED TREE MONSTER'S DICK IN YOUR DIRECTION.

Lovely. Though I gotta say the dialogue and ridiculous extended metaphors are one of the best parts of Homestuck. Wish I could pull those off. However, one point here; if they’re aliens, it seems odd that they would use human idioms such as “olive branch” with the same meaning we do. There is a possible explanation later on, but since they only ever use American/Western phrases like this and it’s clear from other things they say that they didn’t pick up anything much about human culture from watching the kids, I’m upping the count anyway.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 12

BRIGHT: We also discover that troll movies are titled very differently to human movies, such as the classic

CG: WHEREIN NUMEROUS VIGILANTES CONFRONT PERIL; ONE OF THEM BETRAYS THE OTHERS;(BUT IT TURNS OUT TO BE PART OF THE PLAN ALL ALONG); CG: SEVERAL ATTRACTIVE FEMALE LEADS PROVOKE ROMANTIC TENSION; FOUR MAJOR CHARACTERS WEAR UNUSUAL HATS; ONE HOLDS PLOT-CRITICAL SECRET; CG: 47 ON-SCREEN EXPLOSIONS, ONE RESULTING IN DEMISE OF KEY-ADVERSARY;6 TO 20 LINES THAT COULD BE CONSTRUED AS HUMOROUS; EB: wait... EB: this is the title? CG: IT GOES ON.

Apparently after thousands of years of film history, you start running out of movie titles.

Also, note that despite their being aliens, quite possibly with different gender roles, the romantic tension is explicitly provided by attractive female leads.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 13

CG thinks that Earth civilisation’s lack of maturity might explain why the players are (apparently) doing so badly. John retorts that GC is helping him, so they can’t be doing THAT badly. Apparently this wasn’t in the plan; CG goes to talk to GC about it, and she punches him. Seems she’s talking to a future John at the moment, and he asked her to. CG gives John a message to pass on to GC in reply.

CG: TELL HER TO POLISH MY HEAVING BONE BULGE AND SET A TABLE FOR FUCKING TWO ON IT. CG: IT’S FOR OUR CANDLELIT HATE DATE.

John comments that it’s like they’re trolling each other through him now, and asks if CG has talked to Jade. CG is surprised that he’d want to talk to her. John offers to paste the chatlog; CG refuses, and John heads off to talk to GC.

CHEL: Precisely what a bone bulge is is never explained. Context makes it clear it’s an unsavoury body part, and it sounds like a term for one’s dick, even though the boner does not in fact contain bones in humans. The assumption early in the fandom was that the trolls had primarily human anatomy, which seems odd to me considering Kanaya’s complete obliviousness to her Oblong Meat Products comment - most teenagers familiar with human penises would be on that instantly. Anyway, there soon came a phase of experimentation, and by now we seem to have settled on the “functional-hermaphrodites with tentacle dicks” theory. Which is weird, because a tentacle doesn’t sound like something which would be referred to with the word “bone”, does it?

GC’s laughing mouth is reflected in John’s glasses as they speak in what I desperately hope is a shoutout to the Corinthian. She calls John STUP1DLY 4DOR4BLE (minor typo on the comic’s part as the E in her quirk should be a 3) and laughs at CG’s frustration. John relays an approximation of CG’s message:

EB: he wants you to touch his bone lump or something. GC: WH4T!!! EB: and that he's pretty much basically in love with you.

GC asks him to copy-paste the convo for proof but John refuses, saying it was a private conversation, and informs GC that she’s going to punch CG soon. In other news, referring to these characters with only their handle initials when I know their actual names is hard.

On GC’s instructions, John turns around, to discover this hard-to-miss landmark:

This, according to GC, is the D3N1Z3NS P4L4C3, in which the Denizen sleeps on a grist hoard so big their alchemising could never make a dent in it.

GC: USU4LLY HOW 1TS SUPPOS3D TO GO 1S GC: OV3R TH3 COURS3 OF YOUR QU3ST GC: YOU W1LL W4K3 TH3 D3N1Z3N GC: 4ND TH3N F1N4LLY YOU GO THROUGH TH3 S3V3NTH G4T3 GC: WH1CH 1S TH3 ONLY W4Y 1NTO TH3 P4L4C3 GC: TH3N YOU GO DOWN 4ND F1GHT TH3 D3N1Z3N GC: 4ND K1LL 1T GC: R3L3AS1NG TH3 HO4RD EB: so what's my advantage? GC: YOU WONT BOTH3R W4K1NG 1T GC: W3 W1LL SK1P R1GHT TO TH3 S3V3NTH G4T3 GC: F1ND 1TS L41R GC: 4ND K1LL 1T 1N 1TS SL33P

The grist hoard, GC claims, is for the ULT1M4T3 4LCH3MY, but she won’t explain what this is yet, and she leads John to a R3TURN NOD3 which takes him back to his home to prepare.

In the desert, AR and WV hammer some metal to make a gift for the Windswept Questant, which proves to be a crown. PM is shocked to see this, and emerges from the bunker, sword in hand.

Meanwhile, in a long-discarded memory… A PARCEL MISTRESS seeks audience with royalty.

It seems Windswept Questant is in fact, of course, the White Queen.

PM explains recent events and seeks her queen’s advice, showing her the hit list requesting the white monarchs’ crowns. WQ is wearing a ring similar to that of the monarch we met earlier, the Black Queen. Four orbs are attached to it, two light and two dark. On removing it, WQ loses all her elaborate prototyping accoutrements and becomes the normal-looking carapace we saw in her Windswept Questant identity. WQ seems to have a plan; instead of requiring PM to kill her to finish her fetch quest, she simply hands over her crown and ring, and instructs PM to find the White King on the battlefield. Flashing forward to the desert, WQ places her new crown on PM’s head, much to the astonishment of their companions.

On LOLAR, beneath waterfalls pouring from hovering pink turtle shells, Rose frustratedly consults with Jaspersprite, who will apparently only meow. However, when asked a direct question, Jaspersprite is able to respond. He is attempting to fish with his tentacles, but there are no fish, because her Denizen ate everything in the ocean and got so full that it took a long nap. Being as cryptic as Nannasprite, he won’t, however, explain what the message he gave to young Rose meant, saying she’ll understand when she wakes up.

JASPERSPRITE: Rose im just a cat and i dont know much but i know that youre important and also you are what some people around here call the Seer of Light. JASPERSPRITE: And you dont know what that means but you will see its all tied together! JASPERSPRITE: All the life in the ocean and all the shiny rain and the songs in your head and the letters they make. JASPERSPRITE: A beam of light i think is like a drop of rain or a long piece of yarn that dances around when you play with it and make it look enticing! JASPERSPRITE: And the way that it shakes is the same as what makes notes in a song! JASPERSPRITE: And a song i think can be written down as letters. JASPERSPRITE: So if you play the right song and it makes all the right letters then those letters could be all the letters that make life possible. JASPERSPRITE: So all you have to do is wake up and learn to play the rain!

FAILURE ARTIST: Hussie is very good at writing the dialogue of a kitten turned into a game NPC, you’ve got to hand it to him.

CHEL: It’s also worth noting that his colours have stopped flashing pink and purple, and he’s settled on pink.

Rose asks Jade for further information, and learns that all four of the kids have a dream self which must awaken; Rose deduces Jade’s has been awake as long as they’ve known each other. Jade is in fact asleep now, and can only message at the moment because of her robot. Rose’s dream self is dreaming troubled dreams, causing the real Rose to suffer nightmares all her life, and to stop this she must discover how to wake her dream self.

GG: maybe the stuff you wrote on your walls can give you a clue? TT: What stuff? GG: the.... GG: er GG: didnt dave tell you?

Utterly heartwarming moment; we see in John’s dream tower, and Jade has drawn over the LAME KID messages and creepy clown faces on John’s walls with a big bright yellow heart and the message wake up john!!! you can do it!!!

Rose wants to know what’s going on, but Dave is unavailable. The meteor is about to land and he’s scrambling his way up the tower to his kernelsprite’s nest to retrieve the entry egg.

Back at John’s house, he finds the useless rocket-pack-combined-with-junk he experimentally alchemised earlier; GC tells him that the trolls’ resident hacker, who we haven’t met yet, can use its code to create a usable jetpack. Said hacker doesn’t want to talk to them but WONT B3 4BL3 TO R3S1ST TH3 CH4LL3NG3.

John sends the mishmash code…

GC: OK B3 B4CK IN L3SS TH4N ON3 S3COND GC: PCHOOOOO EB: hello? GC: WH4T EB: it thought you said you'd be back in less than a second? GC: 1 W4S GC: 1 G4V3 YOU TH3 COD3 GC: 1TS PCHOOOOO

Hee. The misunderstanding leads into a brief argument, GC claiming that 3V3N YOU 4ND YOUR UND3RD3V3LOP3D BON3 NOOK W1LL B3 4BL3 TO F1GUR3 OUT WH4T TO DO. Once again, we don’t know what a bone nook is. Context could imply either an obscene body part or a brain-related one. Common fanon holds that it’s the vagina, others have objected and said it surely must mean anus; neither of those sound like a “bone” anything to me, and in fact bone would be horribly counterproductive for organs which have to perform peristalsis. Someone did point out to me that it could mean a place to put the metaphorical bone, but that wasn’t what I immediately thought.

FAILURE ARTIST: I don’t think the phrase “bone nook” ever comes up again, though the word “nook” by itself does and it can be replaced with the word “ass” in those cases. Basically, trolls aren’t a fictional species crafted with any care. Hussie wanted some annoying alien characters with a visual callback to “Little Monsters” and it somehow got out of control.

CHEL: Actually, I believe it does come up in Hiveswap Act 1! But we’ll get to that.

John answers a message from Dave, who now claims to be in the Medium, saying it took him four hours. He asks for advice, saying his sprite wants him to prototype it again, and Rose is randomly asleep.

TG: ok fine but TG: it seems to be suggesting something here TG: and TG: i guess im kinda weirded out by its suggestion EB: i don't know, just do what it says! EB: it knows stuff about the game, so it probably knows better than i do...

Not a good sign. John decides to Take dear, sweet Casey (the baby salamander) into protective custody by captchaloguing her, and blasts off for the gate.

Cut to an animated sequence in The Land of Heat and Clockwork, a nightmarish lava-scape covered in machinery (convection schmonvection), where Dave is being extremely badass and surprisingly successful for someone with only half a sword. In fact, multiple Daves appear to be present. We also see, unfortunately, exactly what he prototyped:

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Calsprite is even less helpful than the other two, providing a constant soundtrack of creepy laughter while Dave begs him to shut up. According to Dave’s ensuing convo with Rose, this has been going on for four months. That’s… pretty terrifying even before we hear everything that went wrong. John was unsurprisingly instantly slain by his Denizen, and thus couldn’t save Jade from her meteor. Dave, however, has now mastered the art of time travel via the magical turntables he’s created, and intends to go back and prevent all that from happening, now that they’ve spent four months gathering information their past selves can use. Rose is afraid of ceasing to exist; Dave assures her that their dream selves exist outside the standard passage of time, and this will help her dream self wake sooner.

FAILURE ARTIST: The trolls also stopped “trolling” Dave and Rose after John died. This isn’t the end of the trolls, of course.

Dave uses his turntables to go to the past. We cut to a conversation we just saw, where Dave has just entered the Medium and John is about to go pchooooo, except this time from Dave’s roof.

GET ON WITH IT!: 16

Except at the end, Dave tells John not to go. See, Dave from the future just arrived on Dave from the present’s roof. John refuses to believe that this is happening, thinking it’s just a prank. Not even putting future!Dave on the line convinces John. So, future!Dave unloads everything he has in a stack and flips back into the Crowsprite to become a new characters: Davesprite.

CHEL: Note that, instead of Dave’s theme colour of red, Davesprite is orange. I did wonder if this was potentially supposed to show that Bro (whose theme colour is orange) is overwriting/overshadowing Dave’s real self, but since the sprites of the others aren’t the theme colours of their respective kids (Nannasprite is teal to John’s dark blue and Jaspersprite pink to Rose’s purple) I don’t think this is really a reliable sign. Pin in the colours, though, that’ll come up later.

FAILURE ARTIST: Meanwhile, John blasts off with the words “THIS IS STUPID”.

Present!Rose tries to pester Dave, and we get another repeated conversation.

GET ON WITH IT!: 17

Present!Rose decides to nap, and at that moment, Future Dream Rose ceases to exist and becomes absorbed by Present!Rose. I think.

WHAT IS HAPPENING??: 9

Davesprite pesters GC to tell her not to talk to John anymore. GC first reacts by saying “YOU SM3LL L1K3 OR4NG3 CR34MS1CL3S” but then finds out she killed John. She had assumed since she could talk to John in the future, he hadn’t died, but she guessed there was a chance he could die. She’s a little put-out and wants to apologize, but she’s not as sad as you’d expect someone who accidentally killed someone to be. Davesprite asks who is in charge of timeline management.

GC: SH3 DO3SNT W4NT TO T4LK TO 4NY OF YOU GC: 4ND H4S M1SG1V1NGS 4BOUT TH1S WHOL3 TH1NG GC: NOT 4LL OF US 4R3 TH4T 3NTHUS1AST1C 4BOUT TROLL1NG YOU GUYS GC: 4ND TH3 ON3S WHO 4R3 SORT OF SUCK 4T 1T >:|

We do get to meet her, but not until the next act when we meet all the trolls.

Davesprite gives GC permission to talk to John if she cuts out her “coy bullshit antics”. GC mocks his threatening tone and points out she’s higher on the echeladder, from the future, and blind. Davesprite says his self-prototyping gave him great powers and GC says that was a bad idea. They then engage in some banter over GC posting screencaps of Wheeler from Captain Planet (which she calls a “soap opera”). Davesprite and GC end the conversation with mutual respect. Which is honestly really weird after all future!Dave had to go through because of GC.

CHEL: Does this count for SLAMMER points? I think it does. Here’s the first of our new count, then!

SEND THEM TO THE SLAMMER: 1

This will go up whenever a character does something awful and neither the narrative nor the other characters seem to care.

This also brings us into another point. We’ve seen only hints of it, but alternate timelines are a big theme of this comic. Davesprite in particular is a major focus of said theme, specifically the nature of his personhood separately from the focal or “alpha” Dave. However, as we see here, not even the Dave from the dead John’s timeline particularly seems to mind that John just died in an alternate timeline. At the moment, they appear to feel that because there is an alive John, everything is okay. Let’s see how that progresses.

FAILURE ARTIST: Davesprite and present!Dave (who I guess we can just call Dave at this point) talk. Davespite says as a sprite he has lots of knowledge but is obligated to put it in riddles. However, he says he doesn’t feel like it so he’ll answer Dave straight.

DAVE: alright DAVE: here goes DAVE: why are we so fucking awesome DAVESPRITE: thats the best fucking question anybody ever asked

After that best fucking question, Dave asks if John will be alright. Davesprite says that’s up to John, and if John doesn’t listen they’ll just bail him out again. Davesprite says the gear he piled up will help Dave get to the next gate. The two versions of Dave decide to collaborate on a SBaHJ comic and fist “bunp”.

Meanwhile, “hundreds of pages ago”, John gets his bunny from Dave. We see Dave’s note and it’s cool how each of the kids have their own style of handwriting. There’s a very prophetic sentence in this sweet note:

one day your gooberish ways are gonna land you in a jam and i know im going to have to get you off the hook but its cool i got your back bro.

We cut to the present, where John is blasting off. The human emotion of friendship causes him to reconsider his action. John pesters Dave and tells him he’s just flying around and not going to the gate. Crisis averted.

This might seem like a cul de sac, but it created a new character (Davesprite) and introduced many concepts, so it really isn’t.

CHEL: Primarily, it introduced the theme of jumping around in time in the literal sense as well as just hopping between apparently-disconnected scenes. The latter’s not a generally well-advised style of writing, but considering the time travel motif of the comic, I think it actually works fine here. Also, as a webcomic, if one spends too long on one group of characters then by the time you get back to the other ones the readers will probably not remember what happened, so shorter scenes for each group are probably more acceptable than in a novel or movie.

CG trolls John again, and after a discussion of their becoming reverse anti-mutual friends, John complains that CG hasn’t really answered his questions.

CG: SO GO AHEAD, ASK ME ANYTHING. EB: ok... EB: what's the point of the game. CG: ASK SOMETHING ELSE. CG: ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT.

John asks where they are now in their Medium, and CG explains they’re HIDING IN THE VEIL, a meteor belt between the two planets. To clarify the layout for our readers, Skaia the big ball of sky is in the centre, with Prospit the golden planet orbiting it closely enough for its moon to enter Skaia during the “eclipse” where Jade gets her visions. Then there are the players’ Lands, their little adventure planets where the consorts live, the consorts being the little NPC creatures (in John’s case, the salamanders). Every player has a Land of Something and Something. Beyond the Lands is the Veil, and beyond that is the Furthest Ring, the orbit of Derse, the dark planet.

CG: OK, THERE COMES A TIME WHEN BLACK INEVITABLY BEATS WHITE CG: ON THE BATTLEFIELD IN THE CENTER OF SKAIA CG: THE WHITE KING IS CAPTURED OR KILLED OR SOMETHING CG: THAT'S WHEN THE RECKONING STARTS. EB: ok... CG: THE RULERS OF DERSE CG: THE BLACK KING AND QUEEN CG: GET THE POWER TO SEND THE VEIL TOWARD SKAIA CG: TO DESTROY IT CG: THAT KIND OF STARTS YOUR BIG "COUNTDOWN" CG: WHEN SHIT GETS SERIOUS. EB: so then it's up to us to save it? CG: YEAH, YOU HAVE THAT LONG TO KILL THE BLACK QUEEN AND KING CG: AND SKAIA ITSELF SORT OF BUYS YOU SOME TIME CG: BY ACTIVATING ITS DEFENSE PORTALS CG: TO CATCH SOME OF THE METEORS

Ordinarily, the players would have plenty of time before this happens, but something done by the human players has caused things to go wrong, and now they’ve not only ruined their own chance of winning, but somehow affected the trolls’ game too. CG refuses to explain how, because he’s already told him again.

John asks if they’re hiding in a crater or something, but no, CG explains there are buildings in the Veil. It’s considered neutral ground, and both sides have laboratories there where they genetically engineer new soldiers and agents. John asks CG to tell GC “nice try”, but he refuses.

Now comes the mid-point animation of the act, “[S] Jack: Ascend”. I thought it was an ending animation, but no, there’s still more. If you don’t want to or can’t watch video I’ll explain the content, but I do recommend it.

Watch on YouTube

Pan over the Skaian system, from LOWAS to the Veil to the purple towers of Derse. Four towers are close together, topped by orbs. On three of them, we see the silhouettes of the sprites, while the fourth is dark. Jack Noir sits at his desk, doing paperwork, a pink princess dress on a stand next to it. He doodles on a parking ticket, declaring the Black Queen to be a HUGE BITCH. Closeup on BQ’s hips as she approaches, because we totally needed gratuitous sex appeal. She’s remarkably curvy for a probably-non-mammal. Still, we’ll forgive the standard scifi tropes. Jack watches on the Fenestrated Wall, until BQ appears and hacks it in half. She waves the dress and a pink pointed hat at him; apparently, now that the princess doll has been prototyped, the carapaces must represent it in their clothing as well as the jester. Jack is understandably displeased, and after a quick-fire montage of various outfits representing the sprites’ themes, he tears the final colourful tunic up.

Meanwhile, Rose’s dreamself has awoken, and discovers what she wrote on her walls; the word MEOW and other arrangements of the letters M, E, O, and W, over and over again, over every inch of the walls except the part covered by her bed. She finally remembers what Jaspers said to her, which was, of course, MEOW. This seems like nonsense, but as she looks, the letters switch to G, C, A, and T, the letters used to denote DNA nucleotides. It’s a genetic code.

The guardians, meanwhile, are battling enormous monsters; Mom and Dad respectively punch out a three-eyed spider-like giant and a rock cyclops, Dad pausing afterwards to carve a hat on a pyxis tablet, and Bro swordfights against a lava-dwelling tentacle beast.

Back to Jack, matters have got worse; not only are the carapaces required to dress like the sprites, but Davesprite still has the sword sticking through his torso, so now so must Jack. Considering what else we’ve seen carapaces survive, he’d probably be fine, but he’s still understandably hesitant. BQ offers him a sword, but he slices off her ring-bearing finger, which… causes her to explode? Jack puts on the ring, which causes Derse to glow white and him to sprout the features of the sprites; a sword grows from him without him having to fall on it, and wings and tentacles emerge. End scene.

So, approximately, human children have possibly caused the destruction of an alien civilisation’s last hope by putting a cat in a princess dress. Whatever else you think of Homestuck, you can’t say it’s not inventive.

BRIGHT: It is that, among other things.

COUNTS ALL THE LUCK: 0 ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 15 CALL CPA PLEASE: 8 CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 17 GET ON WITH IT!: 17 GORE GALORE: 9 HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 15 HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 6 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 0 RELATIONSHIP GOALS?: 1 SEND THEM TO THE SLAMMER: 1 SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS: 0 WHAT IS HAPPENING??: 9 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 13 TOTAL: 111

#homestuck #homestuck review #homestuck meta #homestuck reread #let's read homestuck

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steve0discusses · 5 years

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Yugioh S3 Ep 18: Noah’s Dad Decides he Doesn’t Love His Son Anymore When Noah Gets Way Too Into Petz Hexing

I was hanging out with Bro and he made me look at a lot of bad Yugi wigs that were 600 dollars each, and because only like...4 good Yugi wigs exist in the world, I decided to help him get out that Yugi itch in a healthier way, by copy editing these posts and fixing the way I spell Gozaburo wrong about 400 more times before this arc ends.

So last we left off, Noah decided to reference that one part of the Bible he knows.

He’s gonna change the playing field to kind of run through the history of the Earth, showing us that in every period of history his outfit was never acceptable.

Also he got the history a...little bit wrong. You had to have people before Noah’s ark but...whatever. I took astrology, there’s a lot about planet formation we’re still kind of guessing on, so do whatever you feel like, Yugioh. It’s not like any kids watching this got real pissy about how Noah was totally botching the Archean period.

He also decides to dump on us how he got so smart. See, Kaiba got smart by studying a lot, surrounding himself with people way dumber than him, and then just bossing everyone around him until they agreed with him that he was very smart. In Noah’s case, it’s because he’s literally a computer.

I’m really glad I get to find another anime that’s all ham about this tree. In this case just slapping it on there for a few seconds, long enough for me to say “WHAT THE HELL, KIDS SHOW?” before it vanishes again.

Good on you, Noah. You just...casually slipped that in there.

Ah, but unfortunately, the AI who is like...not even human and is *pretty sure* He’s Noah Kaiba is still kind of attached to his Dad. Maybe it was a part of his core code that he couldn’t reject his Father? I dunno, just seems weird that he achieved enlightenment and was like “So uh...I guess I’ll play cards and take over a mindless corporation. Good use of my time.”

(read more under the cut)

Kaiba’s reaction to hearing that his brother stores all of human knowledge was “well, it can’t possibly be that difficult. I’ve done way more than that. I have a homeschool degree and half a high school diploma so go to Hell, bro.”

Yo how many people would sit down, turn to their computer, and just start shouting at their core processor about how they’re waaaay smarter than it? Remember that during this entire conversation, Kaiba is shouting at a literal computer.

So anyway, we finally get to see why they bothered showing us spider room a few episodes back. Youknow, that room with the baby in it? Turns out...there was never a baby in this room, since Noah was a kid when he first woke up here.

Before it was covered in spiders, it was covered in blue and off white. This is a very boring Martha Stewart room in different shades of robin eggshell. You can tell this kid is a Kaiba because oh boy that is a...really boring 50 yo housewife look, ain’t it?

I’m sure it’s symbolic for the fact he is hella dead and innocent at this point but like...every time we see Kaiba interior design it’s just the last type of design you expect from this high octane family.

Anyway, Noah’s kind of surprised to be awake because, last he remembers, he was very much hit by a car.

Ya, I mean, if you have to tell your son you Frankenstiened him into a horrible crime against humanity, might as well tell him as quickly and bluntly as possible, I guess.

Anyway, because Noah existing breaks the most basic moral human laws in every country on Earth, they kinda can’t let him go anywhere, which means that to prevent the loneliness, Kaiba gives him...a pet?

So Noah and the dogcat decide to travel through Domino and realized very quickly that there were only like...five NPC’s. There’s like an ice cream girl, and like a couple walking people, and that’s about it.

Noah’s words were something like “man this place is full of glitches!” because his dogcat wouldn’t stop barking and he threw a rock at it and it didn’t care. Glitches.

I guess it’s one way to look at it?

It feels like Noah got somewhat cursed like Pharaoh did, just a little bit. Like not completely it’s just that I can’t help but notice both are trapped in some sort of basic geometry shape--Pharaoh’s is a pyramid and Noah’s is an orb, and both have untold superpowers matched with some heavy depression that goes with having said superpowers. Not to mention, both have a host body all set up for possession, it’s just Kaiba is a little bit youknow...unwilling to participate. They’re very different obviously it’s just...way to trap your characters in shapes.

Anyway, last episode I felt like maybe Noah liked being an orb, this episode he’s made it a little more clear that it is kind of not great being an orb...but only because he can’t throw any rocks at dogs or have real conversations with anyone but his own Dad.

Anyway, Noah got a little bored. So his Dad sent him to virtual Mars.

And now Noah only finds joy in hacking his digital pet. Relatable.

Now I know a good chunk of you are my age--that good Jenna Marbles age--and will know exactly what I am referring to, as for the rest of you, turning your digital pet into a hell creation was just a thing we all did in year 2000ish. All of us did this.

And I was like “I bet you, that someone out there has made a robot Hex, I guarantee” because I spent...I want to say 2 years of my life downloading modded breedz of Catz 4? I even tried to do it myself but I wasn’t any good at it because I was super young and bad at computers, I never actually got Robbie William’s Millennium as a Catz meow (though trust me, I did try. It was my life’s dream when I was small.)

But the closest I found to a Robot Petz was this?

Dang. Look at that thing. This one is actually pretty good because it does resemble an animal. I admire it a lot. Trust me, I spent like days moving my bunniez feet around trying to make a dragon and just ended up downloading someone else's dragon.

And then, from the same page I saw this gem right above it.

HELL YES........

....I freakin love this period of the internet so freakin much. I was only ever really a part of a couple of fandoms as a child and the Petz fandom will forever hold a little part of my heart. I mean, look at this. What’s not to love?

Like, Catz is probably number 3 on my list of best games ever made. Not so much because the game was any good, but because none of the files were protected in any way so even kids like me could hack in there and make the weirdest abominations and post them all to their Angelfire pages.

Well, other kids could, I was so baby that I was still using my Mom’s email address and did not know how to put a damn thing on my webpage. Which I did have. But it had like...only frames. It had like 3 words and just me splitting the page into 50 frames because I did not know what I was doing.

I apologize to all the kids in the room who have never seen a web page covered in ugly ass frames. You lucky bastards.

....but Petz...Noah was into PETZ. I can respect him for that.

I still think he’s a little creep-o, but knowing that he hacked his pet has given me a lot of appreciation for his work.

Anyway, it was after Noah changed the boring ass simpleton dog into a much better dog that Gozoboro decided “I have made a monster, I am abandoning my boy.” Which uh...this was the thing?

This?

I mean as far as body horror goes, Litterbox up there is way worse. As far as body horror goes, we also have, Jinzo over here, but the digital dog with a cute robot head was the thing that made Gozoboro say “What have I done!?” The dog is digital, it’s not even alive.

Especially since I feel like the follow up question Noah made was like way more frightening than the dog thing?

Kaiba glazes right over this entire conversation. Like full stop, he didn’t even seem to blink. No part of this story even slightly surprised him, although I will admit, at least Seto has decided that Noah...exists and might in fact be a robot his Father made once. This in itself is a big deal for Kaiba, who has a goldfish memory and denial wider than the sea he’s trapped under.

First of all, congrats to the storyboarder/animator for drawing a hand in that angle, mad respect.

Second of all, this is pretty close to the actual line from the show, Kaiba legit thinks that his Dad wanted Kaiba to be the president, after he knows full well that his Dad was like “Don’t Take Over My Company, You Little Twerp” and then like tried to even send Seto back to the orphanage whence he came. Kaiba’s pretty sure that his Dad wanted that whole thing to happen exactly the way it happened. No regrets. Just family being family.

And Moki’s still chilling on the Moki couch, just kinda taking this all in before he’s summoned unto the field like a playing card.

Ah, yet another person who is like “KILL MEEE” on this show. It’s been kind of a while. Like, who’s left that hasn’t stood in front of a loaded card-gun like this? Duke? Is Duke the only one who hasn’t sacrificed his body for the greater card-good at this point? Is this why Duke is our amoral Chaotic Neutral? Is this why Duke is still the only one who hasn’t died yet (and I’m crossing my fingers still that he’s gonna be our death 169, it can happen, I can believe)?

I feel like this is the season of weird hugs. Like everyone on this show that has hugged has gotten a little weird. The only not-weird hug was when Yugi attempted to hug Joey once and then Joey dodged the hug and wrestled him into an arm-distanced noogie instead--which is technically still not a hug, but the closest we’ve gotten to something a human would do. It is so lucky for our art team that all the huggers are supposed to be hella weird anyway.

Anyway, next episode we get to find out if Noah also had an AIM username or got really into Jelly pens. I can see him getting suuuper into Jelly pens, with hair like that.

Anyway, here’s a link to Season 1 Ep 1 to read in Chrono order, in case you just got here and you’re looking for that.

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♡ —— CHARACTER CHALLENGE !!

𝖈𝖗𝖔𝖜𝖓𝖘 𝖍𝖖𝖘 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖓𝖌𝖊 // 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖙𝖚𝖉𝖞 word count : 2.8 k // points : 30.

001. describe your characters’ relationship with their mother or father, or both. minimum word count: 150.

Dismissive and deceptively distant. While Sophia is the embodiment of a teen who can’t stand her parents, this is massively untrue. Especially in regards to her mother. She perceives herself as emotionally detached from all persons but this couldn’t be further from the true disposition of her character. As a child, she ached for her mother’s affection that was distributed between three children. Being the middle of those three, it was seemingly difficult to be noticed which manifested into an unrelenting rage towards the only person she could project her anger onto; her little brother. As for her father, her connection to him was not as steadfast as the bond she upheld with her mother. Her relationship with her father was always more formal with brief moments of fatherly companionship. But her love for him was always viable and grounded.

002. what are your characters’ most prominent physical features? what is a feature that they are most insecure about? what are they proudest of?

Her most commonly attributed traits throughout her life were her blonde hair and green eyes. A very peculiar combination to many that invoked the bewitchment of many suitors in the french court. However, her height always made her feel relatively insecure but not so much as the moles located on her neck. She has heard such markings are the work of the antichrist and commonly associated with witchcraft. To avert attention from them, she prefers to wear bedazzling garnishments around her neck with a headpiece that cascades down her shoulders. Her proudest feature is awkwardly her nose. This feature appears particularly Austrian and Sophia is known to be incredibly prideful of her homeland.

003. how vain is your character? do they find themselves attractive? what is their worst flaw, and are they aware of it?

Sophia doesn’t weight her value on her appearance nor is it something that commonly afflicts her. Growing up in the french court, she was known as an Austrian beauty. The French were besotted with her for her appearance and many suitors attempted to vie for her hand in marriage since she was 15. Her perception of beauty is more weighted on the characteristics of a person rather than their outwardly visage. In that respect, she does find herself attractive. But in consideration of her semblance, she thinks herself plain. Not ugly but not outrageously pulchritudinous. Her greatest flaw, in her own eyes, are the moles on her neck. She also has some sparse freckles around her nose she feels as though she could do without.

004. what is your character’s ranking on the kinsey scale?

She scored a 2. I regard Sophia as being pansexual but favoring being heterosexual for the rate at which it’s accepted. She has had sexual fantasies involving women and her curiosity for it is wild. Mostly, her attraction is not weighted on gender, but the disposition of one’s character. She holds very high standards, but appearances and sex is not a defining factor in her attraction to anyone.

005. describe your character’s happiest memory. minimum word count: 150.

Sadly, Sophia’s happiest memory also entwines with her saddest. On the day of her husband’s death, she attended mass with the people of Luxembourg as it was a Sunday. Her bravery and composition was astounding enough to move several others to tears in mourning for both her and her deceased husband. The people of Luxembourg accumulated outside of the cathedral once the service was over to honor and praise her. As she made way from the cathedral to her carriage, a path was created for her where many stood to the side to bless her as she walked by during snowfall. Some were shivering and still awaited the moment of their opportunity to admire her. While she maintained her composure for the better half of the excursion, she broke into tears upon seating herself within her carriage, overwhelmed by the conflicting feelings of both love and grief. In her life, she had never felt so loved by a people. It was an intoxicating sentiment of reverence and something she desired even more after experiencing it.

006. is there one event in your characters’ life that they would like to erase from their past? why? minimum word count: 200.

So I hate to be this person, but there aren’t any regrets Sophia holds onto as everything does seem to happen for a reason; the continuity of fate and cause and effect. Even the death of her husband is not something she would take back for she would be taking back the sacred vibes of their memories together that i think she would be thankless for had his death not occurred. As well as her drive to strive for more for herself and her future kin. if she were to take back anything, it would be something as minute as a poor fashion taste when she was 12. Something that wouldn’t affect her timeline but perhaps spare her some embarrassment for sake of image. For all that she is and hopes to be, Sophia gives thanks to her past and every bad moment of that past no matter the circumstances. All of it was meant to be apart of her story no matter how sad or without justice it was. I also believe this ideal shows how much she has matured in the last few years as if you asked her this when she was little, she probably would like to erase a lot of things to spare her of her grief.

007. let’s talk favourites! what is their favourite colour, food, and season? what, in a modern setting, would be your character’s favourite song?

Sophia likes delicate colors, specifically whites and yellows. She definitely has a sweet tooth and adores dark chocolate but also enjoys fruits like peaches and grapes. Her favorite season is winter as she loves snow but she also greatly admires autumn for its colors. Her favorite song in a modern era would be All I Do Is Cry by Kim Petras. Honestly, she would be a huge Kim Petras and Slayyyter fan. She would have been so into Britney Spears as a child and would definitely need that modern Britney vibe in music she likes.

008. can you define a turning point in your character’s life?

i think the pivotal point in Sophia’s timeline of events was her being sent to France. It really did end up paving the way for who she would become and also aided in the union to Luxembourg that would ultimately show her a taste of leadership and power.

009. is your character an early morning bird or a night owl? at what time do they get most of their work done?

Both. Sophia doesn’t sleep very much and never has been a well sleeper which was a nightmare when she was a toddler. She suffers from insomnia, though this is not yet diagnosable so it’s just safe to say she’s terrible at sleeping and averages maybe 5 hours of sleep a night. In my head, she does wear very light makeup to cover dark circles from her lack of sleep but sometimes they can be particularly dark and difficult to conceal.

010 a. what other character, a npc or someone apart of the rp, is your character completely real with? who knows them best, has seen them at their most vulnerable, knows their innermost and basest fears? Sophia was incredibly reserved in the beginning of her marriage to Guillaume. She disliked him, being still young and naive when they first married as she trusted rumors he was ugly and disabled and his disposition matched his countenance. However, he was quite the opposite. His disfigurement was one leg was an inch shorter than the other which caused a limp and required him to use a cane to walk but he was otherwise handsome and kind. He was a solemn man, yet very humorous in her presence and considerate of her feelings. Even when he barely knew her, he prioritized her comfort. Slowly, Sophia eased up to him and became very open, sharing many of her secrets, desires and fears with him. She was most vulnerable to him, knowing he would never take advantage of this information. All in all, he was not only her husband, but her closest friend and confidant. His death made her a lot more reserved to opening herself up to others with the idea instilled that everyone goes away in the end and their love can only go so far.

011. is your character a neat or messy person?

She is very neat without question. Her organization skills are astounding as she believes organization is part of being a good leader. That and I do believe messes give her a great deal of anxiety for a lack of a better term. She already has a hard enough time sleeping, but trying to sleep when she knows there is a mess somewhere in her chambers? Absolutely not happening.

012. does your character have any irrational fears or phobias?

A fear of becoming irrelevant in history. She wants to make her mark. She wants to be remembered for her accomplishments and contributions to the advancement of history. She’s very into philosophy and considers often the insignificance of life which frightens her. She can only prevent it the best way she knows how which is through her ambitions.

013. does your character have an underlying passion or trait that influences all aspects of their life?

I wouldn’t say it’s underlying considering it defines her existence. But her passion for leadership; for the advancement of humanity. She believes ideas and theories are constantly evolving and that they will one day live in a world so advanced beyond her recognition. Her duty to the world is to be a stepping stone in that advancement. To prevent sickness, cure and abolish poverty; these are all things she thinks the future holds and it’s important to her to be apart of that in her contribution. She absolutely strives for power but I think in a good way. Not for the purpose of unfound riches and praise but to propel her successors into a better, more viable future.

014. what might your character’s ideal romantic person be?

Someone who she can trust. Someone that respects her ideals and is capable of listening to her opinions. As well as a person she can share laughs with. I think she’s prepared to deal with the likelihood of infidelity given that she’s likely to marry into high status. I can’t say she would particularly like it, but it’s definitely expected in these circumstances. If things were more simple, I think she could easily have everything she dreams of in a companion. But because of the cards she was dealt and the life she continues to accept and even want, her standards for whats acceptable are relatively low. But for falling in love, she does have particularly high standards. I just don’t think she believes she will find true love in the same way she was fortunate enough to find it with Guillaume.

015. describe your character’s hands. are they small, long, calloused, smooth, stubby, dexterous or clumsy? do they wear any jewelry and would they wear polish in a modern setting?

She has elongated fingers with nails filed into an oval shape that slightly extend over her nailbed. Her knuckles and fingertips are red and both her middle fingers are crooked. She wears several rings on her hands but switches the specific rings out according to what she wears that day. So it’s often different. Jewelry and overall fashion is her way of displaying her wealth and I don’t think she’s afraid to go over the top. In a modern setting, she would be getting manicures every two weeks. The coffin shaped nails with rings stacked. I think she would primarily go for singular colors with an accent nail, but sometimes she will feel festive like during halloween or christmas and get specific designs done on her nails.

016. how does your character smell? what is their favourite scent?

Sophia is particular about smells but doesn’t like them to be overpowering. She prefers subtle hints. She likes to burn incense within the confinements of her chambers both for the pleasant smell and the calming effect they provide. She also keeps a bowl of rosewater in her chambers at all times to wash her hands and face. Most predominantly, she smells of lavender from the lavender oil she spreads on her wrists, neck and chest. Her favorite scent however is the smell of rain incoming. She also enjoys the scents of fruits and sweets which is perhaps why she likes them so much.

017. how would your muse describe their religious beliefs?

She is a devout Catholic but not extremely religious. She goes to mass like most others and prays often. But I don’t think it extends beyond that. She already trusts she has been accepted into God’s kingdom and will be rewarded for the things she will come to make of herself in the future. She is very confident in her future tenure and what she has already accomplished.

018. what rules does your muse live by, if any?

Don’t trust anyone. Always have a purpose and direction. Never feel satisfied with your work as there is always room for improvement. I think these are her main principles that really guide her through life.

019. does your muse overshare, or are they more private?

Definitely private. She has a tendency to not speak unless spoken to. However, she gives much voice to her opinions on significant matters. But as far as her feelings go, I think anyone is more likely to get struck by lightning than see the day Sophia opens up and overshares. And if she did, I think she would be absolutely mortified upon realizing she may have said too much. She is very cautious of what she says, giving consideration to her future prospects.

020. is your muse a gossiper? are they more likely to argue with their fists or tongue? what does their voice sound like?

Sophia is a listener. She does not engage in gossip by contributing, but she does encourage others to speak it to her through manipulative tactics. It keeps her a step ahead to know. She is definitely more likely to use her tongue as her primary weapon due to her sharp wit and power being Her Imperial Highness of Austria. Her voice is very soft and melodic. Despite Austrian German being her first language, she puts a profound effort in correct annunciation and even accents of other languages she knows. She is very fluid with her speech, though her accent will show through from time to time.

021. is your muse a … pessimist or optimist … lover or fighter … believer in happy endings … believer in love at first sight?

She is more a realist than anything. If a situation is plausible, she’s definitely more on the optimistic side and does believe good things come to those with good intentions. But she can also tell when something is looking grim and doesn’t desire to get her hopes compromised. So she remains fairly neutral. I can’t say she believes in happy endings because everyone eventually dies and that’s not quite so happy but she does believe in accomplishing the things you want in a lifetime and departing of this world satisfied with what you’ve made of your time. She does not believe in love at first sight as she is not one to fall in love with looks. It takes time for her to fall for someone.

022. what sense of humour does your character have?

She can be a little vicious with her humor but this humorous side only comes out when she feels comfortable with someone so it’s still a good sign. Otherwise, I wouldn’t say she has much of a sense of humor. Just quick wit.

023. what bad habits does your character have?

Nothing terrible like gambling or excessive drinking. Her bad habits are rather silly but her mother would always scold her for them. Like nail biting or rubbing her nose. For some reason, she likes her hands near her face as some sort of comfort mechanism.

024. how does your character feel about growing old?

She’s okay with it as long as she does something with herself. Elderly women are often regarded with much prestige and recognition as significant figures in politics. However, it does bother her she’s considered to be at a point where she should have two children by now. She fears her biological clock is ticking as a woman. Which is funny to me considering 23 is still a baby honestly.

025. does your character prefer adventure to safety and security?

She doesn’t strike me as being super adventurous because she’s definitely more focused on other things like sovereignty. She loves being outdoors, especially in the winter, but I don’t see her venturing beyond confinements she’s familiar with. So I would say she prefers safety and security.

#// i am actually sweating this was so much rip me #☪ . ✧’ 𝖘𝖍𝖊'𝖘 𝖌𝖔𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖋𝖎𝖗𝖊 & 𝖘𝖍𝖊 𝖜𝖆𝖑𝖐𝖘 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖋𝖆𝖒𝖊 ‘✧ . ☪ ━ { headcannons }#crhs.challenge

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