How To Bargain With Rumplestilts
Rumplestilt: I will help you out of your predicament, but for a price: your firstborn child!
Me: Right, so you’ll help me in exchange for your firstborn child. Deal!
Rumplestilt: (accepts handshake, cackling) The bargain is set! There’s no backing out n . . . hngh! Wait, what’s . . . happening . . .?
(Rumplestilt falls to the floor, twitching and glowing. Glow fades to reveal a small bundle next to him)
Me and Rumplestilt: . . . . . .
(Bundle starts crying)
Me: Dude . . . did you just have a baby?
Rumplestilt: No, that can’t be . . . my kind can’t have kids! Why do you think we bargain for children?!
Me: Well, we did agree you would help me in exchange for YOUR firstborn child . . . I think we may have found a loophole?
Rumplestilt: (awed) Did you know this would happen?!
Me: Honestly I was just trying to be clever, this is way better than anything I expected.
Rumplestilt: (teary-eyed) I’m a dad!
Me: Congratulations!!!
Me: Oh shoot, but don’t forget about the bargain! The kid might disappear or something!
Rumplestilt: (clutches bundle) Oh my word, right!!!
———
(A/N: It’s been a while since I messed with magical bargain tropes. XD Fun Fact: I learned while fiddling with this idea that a “rumplestilt” is, in fact, a name for a type of goblin! Which is great because I try to keep my guides species-focused and I did goblins in my very first one!)
For more assorted nonsense, visit my How To Guides for Mythical Creatures Masterlist!
38 notes
·
View notes
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I hate hate HATE how belle went to zelena ZELENA of all people for help.
THE WOMAN WHO ABUSED YOUR HUSBAND
WTF BELLE
Call me what you want, but it comes from love.
I said it before and I'll say it again. Fuck you zelena.
AGAIN WHAT THE FUCK BELLE
Love henry such a smart fucking kid.
Get away from our son!
It'd been cool if emma and regina got together and had a like polycule thing/poly thing with hook and Robin.
They're so nervous watching him, but he's got it.
At first I thought he meant rumple grandpa but it's probably david grandpa.
"Henry violet might be a nice girl but she's a commoner she's lucky to have a prince like you."
Subtle.
Real subtle.
This just pissed me off.
This and her not letting rumple at the birth. Like BELLE he loves you both so much. He'll get his head out of his ass.
At least Skype him for the birth.
18 notes
·
View notes
You love Rumbelle? Golden Lace? Woven Beauty? Woven Lace?
You want to express that love in creative form?
You are competetive?
An experienced writer?
Or someone who never wrote fanfics but would love to try, especially for your OTP, with a bonus of complete anonymity helping you overcome the fear of failure or being judged by others?
You find writing 1000-1500 words oneshots the most comfortable / fun / etc?
You usually write long multi-chap things but would love to try writing something shorter?
You don't have the spoons for writing long multi-chap things but are itching to write?
You want to write but don't have a starting point and need some prompts?
Sign up for Rumbelle Showdown 2024*!
Trust me, you won't regret it 😉
*approved by the sexiest bastard and boss bitch of the show, among other people)
18 notes
·
View notes
Me: Once Upon a Time season 1 is so cozy and comforting :)
ouat s1: government corruption, a woman almost having to give her baby away against her will, a mine collapsing with a child inside, a girl locked in a mental hospital, arson, homeless children needing to steal to survive, said homeless children almost getting separated in the foster care system, infidelity, drugging and kidnapping, attempted muder, actual murder, a murder trial that has nothing to do with the real actual murder, a man slowly and painfully turning into wood, etc.
2K notes
·
View notes
sorry but I cannot help but love ouat belle so much. she’s a hero she’s a scholar she’s the key to ending the ogre wars she was locked in a psychiatric ward for 28 years and didn’t age a day she reads mandarin and elvish she’s inexplicably australian and most of all she fucked that old man.
1K notes
·
View notes
I finally painted the Mireym + Staryk king icy glare contest. Did Naomi Novik know, when she designed a character with white hair, white skin and an all-white outfit, what that would mean in terms of aesthetics? I tried my best to make him mysterious and sexy, but he still ended up looking like a fae version of Mr Clean
2K notes
·
View notes