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vanteguccir · 3 months

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Disgusting food roulette | Matt Sturniolo

Matt Sturniolo x reader

Summary: Where Y/N participates in the Disgusting Food Roulette video and ends up having to take care of Matt.

Warning: Feeling sick in the stomach.

Requested?: Yes, by anon.

Author's note: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

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"I really need to participate?" Y/N asked as she ran her eyes over the triplets. She had her hips resting on the table, where various types of food, sweets, and drinks were displayed.

"It'll be cool! And Matt needs the emotional support." Nick joked, lightly patting Matt's right shoulder, who was looking at the food with a disgusted look.

“It’s not like you won’t do well, Y/N.” Chris scoffed, crossing his arms, before looking at the camera. "She is the only person in the world who isn't fussy about any food. Anything you give her, she will eat it."

The girl rolled her eyes, letting out a laugh while shaking her head. It was true that she wasn't fussy about food, but that didn't hold back the shiver that ran up her spine every time she looked at some of the items on the table.

Raw egg? Easy cheese? She felt sick to her stomach just thinking about the taste of them against her tongue.

"As you can see, we have four separate piles of food here. Y/N didn't buy the food of her side since we decided she would participate when we were already at the grocery store." Matt explained while gesturing to the separated piles.

"Exactly, so we bought the food for her." Nick finished with a smirk on his face, arranging the items in a row.

"They put me in a mess, guys. I didn't even know what foods they would buy, now I regret even getting out of bed." Y/N grumbled miserably, helping the boys open all the product packaging.

Nick rolled his eyes at her drama, quickly explaining about the app they would use to choose who would go in turn.

"Let's begin!"

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"Please, don't be me. Please, don't be me." Nick speaks repeatedly with a frown on his face, his right hand over his mouth while his left index finger pressed the screen of his phone.

Y/N let out a laugh at him, also pressing her finger on the screen, along with Chris and Matt. Matt's right arm was around her shoulder as he took deep breaths, trying to calm the strong, disgusting taste that was settling in his mouth.

The girl watched him momentarily from the corner of her eye, checking if he was well within the limit, feeling his hand squeezing her biceps lightly.

Chris's excited scream caught her attention abruptly, her eyes traveling to the screen. Her finger had been chosen to eat the yellow pepper.

She stared at the pepper for a few seconds, the triplets' laughter sounding like a background sound to her ears.

"Wait, isn't that the yellow pepper we use as seasoning?" Y/N asked, taking some steps away from Matt and the boys and finally picking up the food, twirling it between her fingers.

"I don't know. It doesn't matter, just eat it!" Nick pressed, looking at her expectantly.

Matt watched her closely, pressing his lips into a thin line, trying to contain his laughter, supporting his own weight against the table with his left arm.

The girl shrugged. If her theory was right, that was one of her favorite peppers. She brought her hand to her mouth and bit off a small piece, chewing carefully as she felt the taste and burn settle on her tongue.

"Um, not too strong. It's good." Y/N commented, still chewing, swallowing seconds later.

"You're crazy, entirely." Chris shook his head repeatedly, taking steps away from her as if she was mad.

Matt observed her with widened eyes, surprised by her little reaction.

"Put it there." Nick pointed to the counter next to the stove where they were piling up the food they had already eaten, his face showing a disgusting look. "Next!"

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"It's going to be Chris, I can feel it." Y/N muttered, her eyes fixed on the phone as their four index fingers pressed the screen.

The back of Matt's right shoulder was resting against her chest, while her free hand stroked his hair gently. She knew he was about to get sick, so she was trying to stay as close to him as possible.

"Oh no!" Chris shouted, bringing his right hand to his head in a sign of desperation after seeing the result.

"Yes!" Matt celebrated, turning around and hugging Y/N, jumping up and down in place. His sudden movements made her lose her balance, taking them both to the ground.

Y/N had her mouth open and eyes closed as laughter escaped her lips at her boyfriend's euphoria. She couldn't believe his happiness just because he wasn't chosen to eat the yogurt.

Matt screamed in celebration, hugging Y/N tightly. Nick told him to lower his voice due to the hour, but he was completely ignored.

"He is crazy." Chris commented, pointing to the two on the floor as he shook his head, letting out a laugh, momentarily forgetting what he had to eat.

Nick took the camera off the tripod, focusing the lens on the couple, capturing the perfect image of Y/N with her back against the cold floor and Matt with half his body over hers, his arms encircling her torso and his head buried in the curve of her neck, sounds of laughter echoing from there.

Fans would go crazy over that.

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"No!" Matt screamed, his eyes wide and his mouth open. He had been chosen to eat the red pepper.

Y/N winced, her eyes going from her boyfriend to the pepper and back again. Before she could say anything encouraging, Matt picked up the food and bit off half of it.

"Matt! Are you crazy? This is very spicy. Spit it in the trash! Don't swallow it." Y/N yelled, her eyes wide. She put her hands on Matt's shoulders, guiding him to the trash can.

"Spit it out, Matt." Chris repeated, recording his brother's steps with the camera.

Y/N pressed the pedal to the trash can, opening the lid and patting her boyfriend's shoulder as he spat. She bit her lower lip in worry as she noticed his face start to turn red, his eyes filling with tears.

"Oh, baby. Breathe." She asked calmly, guiding him to the front of the table again, her hands resting on his waist, squeezing the covered skin lightly.

"Oh my God, it's so hot." Matt agonized, fanning his face with his right hand. "My lips-"

Chris and Nick laughed at his reaction, taking their fingers to the phone again, wanting to end the video quickly.

"Come on, guys!" Nick called, pushing Y/N's hips with his own - since she was closer to him -, getting her attention.

The girl took Matt's right hand and guided it to the phone, placing him index finger on the screen and then her own, keeping her eyes fixed on her boyfriend's face. Droplets of sweat started to appear on his forehead as his cheeks burned red, and Y/N was ready to get him out of there if necessary.

Chris was chosen next to eat the jelly, and Matt took advantage of the situation to walk around a little, wanting to alleviate the burning sensation in his mouth.

Y/N quickly followed him, helping him drink the water that was still in his hands, despite knowing it wouldn't help much.

"Do you want some milk, my love?" She asked quietly so the camera wouldn't catch it. Matt shook his head, feeling his stomach churn at the thought of adding milk to the horrendous mix of all the things he had eaten.

The boy seemed disoriented, his head hurt, and his tongue burned. He walked over to the refrigerator, pulling the door open and opening his mouth, momentarily exhaling in the cold air, before closing it again.

"Come, love." Y/N pulled him closer to the phone again, intertwining their free hands and squeezing his fingers with her own lightly.

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"Are you okay?" Chris asked, approaching and touching Matt's shoulder. His words sounded worried, even though he was still laughing.

Matt nodded as he drew in puffs of air through his open mouth, a multi-layered piece of colby-jack cheese pressed to his right cheek. Y/N watched him from the side, feeling helpless.

"It's not helping." He shouted, leaning on Nick momentarily and blinking his eyes repeatedly, watching Y/N eat the second to last content.

His heart raced when it was the app's turn to choose who would eat the last item, the raw egg.

"If Matt's chosen, I'll eat for him." Y/N quickly imposed, pressing her finger on the screen and staring intently at it.

"This is not how it works." Chris muttered, bumping his shoulder against hers playfully.

"Fuck the rules." She shrugged, sighing in relief when she saw the app choose Nick.

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"Matt, what was the worst that you ate?" Chris asked, bringing the camera closer to Matt, who was opening the fridge.

The boy ignored him, leaning forward slightly and bringing his mouth under the water filter, taking long sips. Y/N let out a low laugh as she saw Chris frown at not receiving any response, rubbing her boyfriend's back softly.

Matt closed the fridge doors, taking some steps back and resting his arms on the table as he took a deep breath, feeling all the food rise up his throat. He swallowed hard, straightning up and looking at Chris behind the camera, his own eyes filling with tears.

"I'm going to bed." His voice was broken. He turned and walked quickly to his shared room with Y/N, receiving a light slap on the back from Nick.

"Okay, he's going to bed."

Y/N let out a nasal laugh, shaking her head. She quickly walked to the cupboard next to the stove, taking a glass. She opened the fridge, taking a bottle of ice cold water and pouring some milk into the glass, closing the door with her hip.

"I'll take care of him." She told the boys, blowing an air kiss to the lens before walking to their bedroom, balancing the items in her hands, Nick and Chris' voices speaking with the camera falling behind.

The girl turned the door handle with her elbow, slowly entering the room and closing it again behind her back.

Her eyes traveled around momentarily, the lights were off, making it difficult to see anything. She squinted her eyes and quickly found her boy laying on the bed in a fetal position, approaching him in slow steps.

Y/N placed the milk and water on the bedside table and squatted down, resting her arms on the mattress. She brought her right hand to Matt's hair, gently brushing the loose strands out of his eyes. Her fingers caressing his warm skin.

"Honey? What are you feeling?" She asked in a low tone, not wanting to heighten her boyfriend's senses. Her heart sank at the way Matt seemed to be in discomfort, his eyes were closed tightly and his brow was furrowed, his shoulders tense.

"Stomach pain. My tongue is still burning and I'm hot on the insides and cold on the outside." The boy explained, his voice sounding weak followed by him sniffling.

"Come here, baby. Let me help you." Y/N asked gently, standing up from her crouched position and helping Matt sit up slowly.

Her hands grabbed the hem of the black t-shirt that covered his torso, pulling it up slowly, helping him take it off his arms and head, placing it aside on the mattress to fold later.

Y/N quickly grabbed the air conditioning remote that was next to the items she brought, turning it on and setting it to 18°C. Not so cold, but refreshing.

She put the remote back in place and picked up the milk, sitting on the edge of the bed and raising the glass so Matt could see what it was, receiving a whine in response.

"I know it might seem gross to drink milk after everything you've eaten, but it will help lessen the burn from the pepper, baby." Y/N spoke calmly, bringing the glass closer to Matt's face. "You ate a large amount. If we don't alleviate it now, this burning sensation will continue for several hours, sweetheart."

The boy sighed before wrapping both of his hands around Y/N's, who was still holding the glass for fear of Matt dropping it since his hands were shaking. He took it to his lips and closed his eyes tightly, tilting the glass and taking a small sip.

Y/N encouraged him with small whispers, pushing his hair back with her free hand, freeing his forehead from the heat of his strands.

Matt put the glass down after a few sips, pushing it closer to her, showing that he didn't want any more. He removed his hands from around Y/N's, allowing her to put it down.

The girl placed it on the bedside table again, watching her boyfriend's reactions.

"Do you think you're going to throw up? Or are you okay, and it's just the burning?"

"No, I'm not going to throw up, I just want to sleep." The boy responded weakly, lowering his torso onto the bed again, feeling the duvet pressing against his back. He turned onto his side, pressing his right hand to his exposed stomach. "Come lie down with me, please."

"I will, my love. Just let me take this glass to the kitchen, and I'll be right back." Her tone was low.

She leaned her body over his, sealing his cold forehead with her warm lips for a few seconds before pulling away and rising from the bed. She took the glass again, pushing the water bottle closer to the bed before taking steps towards the exit.

"I love you." She heard Matt whisper before closing the door behind her. A huge smile decorated her face as she felt her heart race.

She would do anything to make him feel better and Matt knew that.

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Extra - comments:

"I seriously thought Matt would throw up everything 😭"

"omg Matt is CRAZY for eating half of a red pepper without a second thought 🤡"

"Y/N worrying about Matt is so cute 🥺"

"the way Y/N kept looking at Matt all the time, making sure he was okay 😔 I love them so much"

"Matt almost dying, Y/N worried sick and Chris and Nick laughing until their next generation was the best thing I saw today"

"Matt and Y/N on the floor laughing their asses off is my new romain empire 🧎‍♀️"

"Matt saying 'I'm going to bed' after a traumatic experience is totally me for real"

"can we take a minute to appreciate Y/N eating the yellow pepper like it was chocolate? WHAT A WOMAN GUYS!!!! 🤤"

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My asks are always open. Feel free to send requests or anything at all 🩷💋

And remember to treat people with kindness always!

~ taglist:

@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @worldlxvlys @earth2starkey @remussbitch @freshloveforthefit @il0vebeingdelulu @sturniolowhore @mimi-luvzyu @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @domizzzsstuff @sturnizd @hearts4chris @cupidzsq

(If you want to be added to the taglist, please comment here)

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caffeineandsociety · 1 year

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There's a specific genre of shitty antisemitic joke that I have seen fly under the radar (as it was designed to) a LOT more often lately - especially since Kanye started going full mask-off nazi - so I feel the need to issue a warning about it. Namely, the genre is jokes that get spread around by people who aren't willfully antisemitic because outside of conspiracy brain rot land, it appears that the point of the joke is absurdism.

As an example, let's examine the 23-and-me lizard DNA test that I've sadly seen floating around unquestioned.

Because, see, to the average person who isn't willfully antisemitic, this genre of joke comes off as nonsequiturs, or hilarious mistakes - you, as a person with some level of basic observational and critical thinking skills, living on Earth and not in whatever batshit mirror dimension conspiracy theorists think we live in, might very well end up getting a giggle out of it because, HAH, we KNEW those DNA ancestry kits were a scam! If you're not a deliberate antisemite but not really up on the dogwhistles, it doesn't scan as anything awful because you're put in mind of things like feeding a photo of something decidedly not human into that one selfie-to-anime neural net, which sometimes works and produces interesting results because the thing is looking for specific patterns and trying to make anything fit - not things like blatantly lying about doing something like that in the hopes that normies who see the absurdity and want to have a laugh at a scummy company's expense will pass it along to people who unironically believe that Jewish people are actual literal lizard aliens and the test proves it.

This is the same strategy that guy at the game awards pulled. You, a person living in reality where the main source of political corruption is just the basic consequence of an economic system that makes power pool in the hands of anyone willing to exploit enough people, a world of banal mundane evil, know damned well that QAnon-pizzagate-satanic ritual abuse cult conspiracy bullshit is, well, bullshit, if you're even familiar with the details of what they believe at all. When someone crashes the stage and thanks Rabbi Bill Clinton, you may very well laugh because to YOU it is a blatant absurd nonsequitur.

Problem is that to someone else, someone who's deep into that shit, it's either someone letting the truth slip, or someone backing the deep state into a corner - whichever is more convenient to believe.

This is one form of how the far right uses memeification (CW: the example discussed in the link is a rape "joke") - it means something totally different to the in-group than it does to the out-group. To you, it's funny because it's nonsensical; to them, it's fun because they think they're onto something huge and they're about to blow this shit wide open and it's going to be their great moment of triumph.

I cannot stress enough that no matter how absurd an antisemitic conspiracy theory sounds to you, there are people who believe it, unironically. There are people who unironically believe that Jewish people are very literally not human and no amount of evidence to the contrary will ever change their minds. There are people who believe that we're born with horns and tails and pointed ears and have them surgically altered to fit in with good Christian humans like some kind of extremely high-stakes game of Among Us. There are people who believe that we steal, ritualistically abuse, and kill Christian babies. These beliefs, while fringe enough that, yeah, most of you who this post is aimed at have never heard them in the wild before very recently, are not nearly as fringe as you probably think they are. Just look at fucking Kanye. This asshole has more fans than there are Jewish people in the world.

So I'm begging you to please, bare minimum, be careful of "absurdist" jokes about Jewish people, especially if they reference lizards, money, banking, or government power. Also, you may see Jewish people debating how religious laws may apply to fictional creatures, but outside of that context you should also be wary of any time Jewish people are mentioned in the same sentence as vampires, dragons, goblins, zombies, fantasy demons, or any number of other fantasy creatures known for greed, feeding on humans, or both.

If the reason it seems funny to you is because you'd have to be really stupid to believe it's true or makes any kind of sense - it's probably looking for you to spread it to people who are, in fact, that stupid.

#antisemitism #psa

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nasa · 1 year

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Caution: Universe Work Ahead 🚧

We only have one universe. That’s usually plenty – it’s pretty big after all! But there are some things scientists can’t do with our real universe that they can do if they build new ones using computers.

The universes they create aren’t real, but they’re important tools to help us understand the cosmos. Two teams of scientists recently created a couple of these simulations to help us learn how our Nancy Grace Roman Space Telescope sets out to unveil the universe’s distant past and give us a glimpse of possible futures.

Caution: you are now entering a cosmic construction zone (no hard hat required)!

This simulated Roman deep field image, containing hundreds of thousands of galaxies, represents just 1.3 percent of the synthetic survey, which is itself just one percent of Roman's planned survey. The full simulation is available here. The galaxies are color coded – redder ones are farther away, and whiter ones are nearer. The simulation showcases Roman’s power to conduct large, deep surveys and study the universe statistically in ways that aren’t possible with current telescopes.

One Roman simulation is helping scientists plan how to study cosmic evolution by teaming up with other telescopes, like the Vera C. Rubin Observatory. It’s based on galaxy and dark matter models combined with real data from other telescopes. It envisions a big patch of the sky Roman will survey when it launches by 2027. Scientists are exploring the simulation to make observation plans so Roman will help us learn as much as possible. It’s a sneak peek at what we could figure out about how and why our universe has changed dramatically across cosmic epochs.

youtube

This video begins by showing the most distant galaxies in the simulated deep field image in red. As it zooms out, layers of nearer (yellow and white) galaxies are added to the frame. By studying different cosmic epochs, Roman will be able to trace the universe's expansion history, study how galaxies developed over time, and much more.

As part of the real future survey, Roman will study the structure and evolution of the universe, map dark matter – an invisible substance detectable only by seeing its gravitational effects on visible matter – and discern between the leading theories that attempt to explain why the expansion of the universe is speeding up. It will do it by traveling back in time…well, sort of.

Seeing into the past

Looking way out into space is kind of like using a time machine. That’s because the light emitted by distant galaxies takes longer to reach us than light from ones that are nearby. When we look at farther galaxies, we see the universe as it was when their light was emitted. That can help us see billions of years into the past. Comparing what the universe was like at different ages will help astronomers piece together the way it has transformed over time.

This animation shows the type of science that astronomers will be able to do with future Roman deep field observations. The gravity of intervening galaxy clusters and dark matter can lens the light from farther objects, warping their appearance as shown in the animation. By studying the distorted light, astronomers can study elusive dark matter, which can only be measured indirectly through its gravitational effects on visible matter. As a bonus, this lensing also makes it easier to see the most distant galaxies whose light they magnify.

The simulation demonstrates how Roman will see even farther back in time thanks to natural magnifying glasses in space. Huge clusters of galaxies are so massive that they warp the fabric of space-time, kind of like how a bowling ball creates a well when placed on a trampoline. When light from more distant galaxies passes close to a galaxy cluster, it follows the curved space-time and bends around the cluster. That lenses the light, producing brighter, distorted images of the farther galaxies.

Roman will be sensitive enough to use this phenomenon to see how even small masses, like clumps of dark matter, warp the appearance of distant galaxies. That will help narrow down the candidates for what dark matter could be made of.

In this simulated view of the deep cosmos, each dot represents a galaxy. The three small squares show Hubble's field of view, and each reveals a different region of the synthetic universe. Roman will be able to quickly survey an area as large as the whole zoomed-out image, which will give us a glimpse of the universe’s largest structures.

Constructing the cosmos over billions of years

A separate simulation shows what Roman might expect to see across more than 10 billion years of cosmic history. It’s based on a galaxy formation model that represents our current understanding of how the universe works. That means that Roman can put that model to the test when it delivers real observations, since astronomers can compare what they expected to see with what’s really out there.

In this side view of the simulated universe, each dot represents a galaxy whose size and brightness corresponds to its mass. Slices from different epochs illustrate how Roman will be able to view the universe across cosmic history. Astronomers will use such observations to piece together how cosmic evolution led to the web-like structure we see today.

This simulation also shows how Roman will help us learn how extremely large structures in the cosmos were constructed over time. For hundreds of millions of years after the universe was born, it was filled with a sea of charged particles that was almost completely uniform. Today, billions of years later, there are galaxies and galaxy clusters glowing in clumps along invisible threads of dark matter that extend hundreds of millions of light-years. Vast “cosmic voids” are found in between all the shining strands.

Astronomers have connected some of the dots between the universe’s early days and today, but it’s been difficult to see the big picture. Roman’s broad view of space will help us quickly see the universe’s web-like structure for the first time. That’s something that would take Hubble or Webb decades to do! Scientists will also use Roman to view different slices of the universe and piece together all the snapshots in time. We’re looking forward to learning how the cosmos grew and developed to its present state and finding clues about its ultimate fate.

This image, containing millions of simulated galaxies strewn across space and time, shows the areas Hubble (white) and Roman (yellow) can capture in a single snapshot. It would take Hubble about 85 years to map the entire region shown in the image at the same depth, but Roman could do it in just 63 days. Roman’s larger view and fast survey speeds will unveil the evolving universe in ways that have never been possible before.

Roman will explore the cosmos as no telescope ever has before, combining a panoramic view of the universe with a vantage point in space. Each picture it sends back will let us see areas that are at least a hundred times larger than our Hubble or James Webb space telescopes can see at one time. Astronomers will study them to learn more about how galaxies were constructed, dark matter, and much more.

The simulations are much more than just pretty pictures – they’re important stepping stones that forecast what we can expect to see with Roman. We’ve never had a view like Roman’s before, so having a preview helps make sure we can make the most of this incredible mission when it launches.

Learn more about the exciting science this mission will investigate on Twitter and Facebook.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!

#NASA #astronomy #telescope #Roman Space Telescope #dark matter #galaxies #cosmology #astrophysics #stars #galaxy #Hubble #Webb #spaceblr

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astroboots · 11 months

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Every You Every Me | Issue #7

COLLABORATED WITH @thirstworldproblemss

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x female reader

Summary: You finally get some answers out of Miguel about who you are to him.

Word count: 5,700 words.

Series Masterlist | Spiderverse Masterlist | Astroboot’s Masterlist | thirstworldproblemss' Masterlist

[Previous] [Next]

"So let's take it from the top," you tell him, as you sit down and put down the Trenta-sized caramel flavored hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and chocolate syrup in front of the man named Miguel O'Hara.

The two of you are sitting across from each other at a small booth at the nearest Starbucks you were able to find, seeing as you're homeless now, and there's nowhere else you could think of to go.

He's dressed in a large fitted hoodie that drapes down to his thighs. Where he's managed to find something that is oversized in length on him, you don't know because he's not exactly short.

"I'm from a dimension known as Earth-928," Miguel says.

Before he can continue, you raise one hand, and you can see his right eyebrow twitch unhappily at the interruption.

"Yes?"

"Just to clarify, so we don't have another ‘coffee cake’ misunderstanding. When you say Earth-928, do you mean a different version of the Earth we’re on now? Or is this a habitable planet in another galaxy that happens to be partially named Earth?"

"It's a parallel universe characterized by distinct physical parameters and initial conditions, accounting for the diverse manifestations of our observable universe. So still Earth," he says, sweeping his gaze across the café, nose wrinkling the way one does when there's something off-putting in their vicinity. "Just a little bit less primitive."

Of course he would say that, wouldn't be able to resist the jab would he.

You peer up at him across the table. He is very technical and thorough with his explanations. But as grateful as you are for him finally being willing to answer your questions, you hadn't expected those answers to be quite so information dense. You need to pick your questions more carefully or you are going to have to go down the street to buy yourself a notebook in order to keep up.

"How did you end up on this Earth?" you ask.

"Where I'm from, I'm a scientist, a researcher. One of the things I studied was the theory of physical cosmology and the existence of the multiverse. My work was concentrated on the theoretical ability to navigate between distinct universes within a hypothetical multiverse–”

Ah shit, you should've been more narrow in your question. Should have asked him to simplify it a bit more for you. Because now you're sitting here blinking up at him, pretending you understand half of what he's saying.

It makes sense that he’s STEM. He speaks like the type. Smart as hell with none of the social skills to gauge whether the other person is following the conversation.

Listening to him reminds you of that time in college, when you'd walked into the wrong lecture hall, wound up in advanced chemistry instead of your math class, felt too awkward to leave and just sat there drawing doodles with an attentive expression until the class was over.

And he’s still at it, “– employing advanced mechanisms that manipulate or transcend conventional spacetime frameworks, enabling exploration–"

"Okay, wait, hold on a sec," you interrupt, once it becomes obvious he’s not going to stop any time soon on his own. "Can you... simplify, please?"

He stops mid-sentence, taking a deep breath as he looks up at the ceiling and considers your request, with a serious expression as if he's thinking really hard on it. "I’m a scientist. I study the multiverse. I built a parallel universe traversal device, it allows me to visit different dimensions." Your brain feels insulted that it clearly took more mental effort for him to dumb it down for you than to just give the supergenius version.

“So… a machine that allows you to jump between alternative universes?”

“Yes.”

There’s a pause between you as you run through the questions in your mental list you want to tick off now that he’s turned cooperative and talkative. But with everything that’s happened in the last handful of hours, a lot of the questions you previously had seemed outdated. The one question, the most important one, you’ve wanted to ask from the start though remains.

"Who am I to you?"

Miguel takes the large sized drink in his even larger hands and somehow this big paper cup still manages to look tiny in his grip. "You and I were... involved," he says.

You frown. ‘Involved’ is such a vague term. It belongs in the trash with other useless terms to describe relationships: “situationship”, “complicated”, you hate them all.

"So I was your girlfriend?"

"Yeah, something like that," he concede, fidgeting with the thin gold chain looped around his neck, his eyes not quite meeting yours, like he's embarrassed to use the term.

‘Something like that,’ you chew on his answer unhappily, sympathizing with your other dimensional self and how the other you seemed to have snagged a commitment phobe.

Other-you, who isn’t here in this dimension with Miguel. You wonder why that is.

"What happened to me?" you ask.

His eyes are glued to the table, not looking up at you as he answers you in a voice so quiet you can barely hear it. "She died."

"Oh."

The revelation shouldn’t take you by surprise.

Every time Miguel’s brought up your other self, it’s been tinted with earth-shattering sadness. It's not hard to put one and one together and come to the conclusion that whatever happened to you in this other dimension didn't end happily.

Still it's an odd feeling to know that out there, somewhere, a version of you has died. A version of you that was clearly very important to the man in front of you.

"I'm sorry," you tell him.

It feels silly to say. It's bizarre to give your condolences over your own parallel death, but Miguel looks so heartbroken. He’s slumped in his seat, large shoulders rounded until his frame looks so much smaller than you're used to, and you don't know what else to do.

"So what is happening to me now," you start, not sure how to word what the phenomena that you're going through is, "these continuous near-death experiences, is that how she died?"

"Yeah."

"And do you know why that... kept happening to her? Why is it happening to me?"

"I don't, and I don't know how to stop it. Believe me I tried."

He cradles the paper cup in his hands, the grip a little bit tighter now until he's creasing the paper and the caramel liquid oozes and leaks from the top.

"What I do know is that the universe isn’t going to stop trying to kill you, no matter what you do. And with every near death incident you manage to survive, these incidents will escalate in nature, until..." he stops, eyes flickering away from the cup to meet yours, but it's like he loses courage and doesn't want to say the last part.

"Until, what?" you prompt.

"Until your dimension collapses."

The blood freezes in your veins. "Wait, collapses!? What do you mean?"

"I can't guarantee it will happen again. But that's what happened last time. When the other you kept cheating death, the universe eventually started to collapse in on itself."

You slump back in your chair, trying to process what you've just been told. What does that mean? That even if you managed to defy all odds to survive, doing so would doom the rest of this universe as you know it?

"When will that happen?" you ask, and you're surprised you manage to get the words out because there is a hard lump in your throat that makes it hurt to even swallow.

"Judging from the trajectory and escalation of events, you have about three months give or take."

The two of you sit in heavy silence, for the moment you're not sure what else to ask him. Because it feels like you are trapped in a building looking for an exit sign, but all that’s tacked onto the brick wall is your death certificate, waiting to be signed and formalized.

There’s no way out. Nowhere to go.

"Give me your hand," he says, breaking the silence.

You give it to him without hesitation, watching, puzzled, as he takes off his watch and secures it around your wrists.

"Why are you giving me your watch?"

"It's not a watch," he says, then he presses something on the face of it, and an image of a young woman flickers into existence in the space above your wrist, vaguely see-through. A hologram!

"This is Lyla," he introduces.

Wait, wait? Lyla? As in your mom Lyla? You watch the tiny woman floating above your wrist. Short bob-cut, and flashy heart-shaped sunglasses, with a twinkle in her eye.

The hologram looks nothing like your mom. You part your mouth, about to ask about the name but you're interrupted by the energetic buzz of a female voice greeting you.

"Boss-girl! Long time no see. Want me to catch you up on the latest multiversal gossip? I compiled an edit of highlights set to Despacito."

"Lyla," Miguel warns, tersely. "Not now."

"Ruuuuude! You're the one who woke me up you know."

"Lyla, go back to sleep."

The female avatar grumbles, but then her image flickers away and the watch turns back into, as far as you can tell, just an ordinary watch.

"Why did you name the watch Lyla?"

"It's not a– " He cuts himself off, sighing with exasperation. "Lyla is an advanced A.I. she's going to be with you at all times. She's an added layer of security, built to protect you."

He didn't answer your question. Completely sidestepped it as if the two of you are having two different conversations.

Built to protect you, he'd said. Does that mean he still intends to do that?

"So you're not going to leave?" you ask him.

He leans back in his seat, eyes drifting towards the table. "No."

You look up at him, stumped. Not sure you're understanding what he's saying. Because not even a few hours ago, when the two of you were in your apartment, this man was adamant there was nothing to be done to save you. That he was going to leave and you were never going to see him again.

Right now though, his actions seem to be contradictory to that. You can't make heads or tails of him. Hot and cold doesn’t even begin to cover it.

"Why not?" you ask, "I mean, not that I’m not grateful, but you seemed pretty set on the whole ‘I can’t save you’ thing. What changed your mind?"

“You did.” His eyes narrow as he looks down at you, crossing his arms ever his chest, "You told me you wanted to live. Have you changed your mind already?"

“Wha– NO! I just want to know why you changed yours.”

“I–” He hesitates, another wave of sadness passing over his face. “I’m a superhero. I save people… or try to. It’s what I do. I’m not gonna just leave you to die after you tell me you want to live.”

It’s a good answer, even if you don’t buy that it’s the whole truth.

You look down at your wrist, and the shiny chrome of the not-watch he's just gifted you winks back up at you. "Do you think I have a chance of surviving all this?"

"It's pretty hopeless," he says, and there’s no break in his expression as he continues. "Your chances of making it out alive are pretty much mathematically impossible."

It's odd though. Even though he's outlining the futility of your situation, basically telling you to raise the white flag and surrender, there's something contradictory in the tone of his voice.

"What do you want to do?" he asks you.

It’s a challenge, you realize. An encouragement. He has faith in you. It's all of these things rolled into one. As if he's telling you to prove the universe wrong.

"I want to live," you answer. "If the universe collapses in three months, then please stay with me. Give me time to solve this and find a way to stay alive."

His mouth curls into a hint of a smile. The very first you've seen from him since you've met. It's bright and boyish, erasing the harsh lines of his stern expression until it gives way for something much softer underneath that makes your heart leap in your chest with triumph.

You grin, a strange elation of happiness buzzing in you as you stretch out your hand to him, in an invitation for a handshake to seal the deal.

"Deal?"

Miguel leans over the table, clasping your hand in his much larger one as he squeezes it back gently.

"Deal." That small smile from before is still there. "So what's next?" he asks.

The thing you never realized, being an ordinary person bereft of super genes or other superhuman powers is just how convenient commuting can be if you have them.

No longer do you have to brave the Lynchian nightmare that is the NYC subway system. Half-naked manic street preachers giving sermons as you’re held hostage, with nowhere else to go in the carriage. Being chased down by a drunk trumpeting Mariachi band. Instead, all you need to do to get from point A to point B (A: being the Chrysler building and B: the building formerly known as your home) is to hold on tight to Miguel as he swings you both above the city gridlock.

You imagine that this is what paragliding must feel like, except it's so much better because here you don't have to do the safety training beforehand or pay $3,000 for the privilege.

The city skyline is a dark evening blue, dotted with the sparkling lights of office buildings, cab roof lights and street lamps, as the wind ruffles through the fabric of your clothes.

It's such a different sight when you're flying above instead of walking on the streets below, that you don't even clock that you're in your neighborhood, until you see a building with a collapsed wall that's been blocked off, looking like a crash site. Only then do you realize... you're home.

Miguel carefully sets you down on your feet on a small patch of concrete that is clear of the rubble and destruction.

"Why did you want to come back here again?" he asks.

It’s a good question. Now that you're here, standing in the middle of charred debris and cracked bricks, you're not sure either. You had some vague plans of seeing what you could salvage, hoping for some clothes, maybe your electric toothbrush, or really just any of your stuff. Something that’s yours, no matter how small, to hold on to after the events of today have ripped away life as you know it.

But there’s nothing left. The furniture, all your books and knick knacks, and even your dirty laundry piles have been demolished. Your home as you know it is gone. There's only piles and piles of rubble and traces of white fire extinguisher foam on the ground. The fire has been out for hours, but the pungent smell of smoke and sulfur still pervades the air.

"You okay?" Miguel asks.

He's still standing at the outer edges of the apartment, close to where your window would have been if a helicopter hadn't crashed through it.

"Yeah... I guess the silver lining is that I didn't have anything expensive. Though it'd been nice if I could've saved my mom's Le Creuset set or at least the nanny-cam so I could return it and get a refund," you joke glibly.

You nudge aside some concrete rubble with the cap of your shoes. There's nothing under there, no treasured memorabilia that's still miraculously intact. Just more burnt concrete and rubble.

"Why did you have a nanny cam?"

You turn around at his question, to see him hovering close to you, one eyebrow raised with an unhappy set to his jaw.

From the displeased expression on his face, he's probably misunderstanding something here. Probably thinks you're operating a very unlucrative Onlyfans business, when what you've really been doing is spy on him and his nightly visits. You don't know which is worse to confess to, so you don't confess to anything.

"No reason," you say, ignoring the way his already raised eyebrow twitches with irritation at your lack of an answer.

"Come on, let's go," he says, and he waves towards you in a come hither motion like he's commanding a dog.

"Go?" you ask him. "It's past midnight. My place, as you can see, is wrecked. Go where exactly?"

Miguel shoots you a strange look. "A hotel," he says, like it's the most obvious thing, and– okay, he's not completely wrong in that assumption.

Problem is, you didn't have time to pick up your wallet or phone before your impromptu interdimensional visit. They’ve been incinerated along with all the rest of your worldly possessions, which means you don't have any way to pay for a hotel.

Plus Manhattan hotel prices average $400 a night. Even if you still had access to your debit cards, your budget’s pretty tight right now after all the capital you invested in your unhinged quest to trap the superhero before you.

"In the city? I don't have that kind of money and it will take months for any insurance payouts to come in."

You should know. As an insurance claims adjuster, you know you’ll be lucky if your claim is processed before the end of the year. And, ugh, just the thought of the paperwork you’ll have to fill out is enough to give you an anxiety migraine.

"I’ll cover the room," Miguel says casually before holding out a hand to you, "Come on, let’s go."

When Miguel said he’d cover it, you expected a reasonably-priced room at one of the Days Inn across the river or the like. Hopefully a place with no rats or bed bugs, and maybe clean bedding over a somewhat comfortable mattress for you to pass out on if you were lucky.

You didn't expect this.

Standing in front of the Midtown Four Seasons, you find yourself on sleek marble so polished you can see your own reflection. You haven't even stepped a foot inside yet and there are two old fashioned doormen, wearing immaculately fitted suits, with an even more impressive posture opening the majestic double-set doors for you as you approach.

It's swanky as hell, and you can’t help gawking like a tourist, eyes glued to the decadent carved ceilings that must be at least 30 feet tall, soaring above you. Honey-colored limestone that looks like it’s been looted from Ancient Rome.

You feel more than a little bit out of place. This is way outside of your budget. You could probably work your job for a lifetime, and not have enough disposable income to stay the night at a place like this.

"Uhm, Miguel... this place is way too–" you start, turning towards him.

But as you were busy lamenting the state of the housing market, he's already walked away from you (for such a bulky guy, he moves swiftly and silently) and as you whip your head around to find him, he's already standing in front of the receptionist.

Damned antelope legged man, would it kill him to wait up for you once in a while? You run up after him and have to tip-toe in order to see over his shoulder because the giant mammoth is blocking the check-in counter.

And wow, even the receptionist here is of a different caliber than the ones you'd find at Holiday Inn. A fashionable bob-cut with razor sharp edges, looking like a model cut out from a Vogue cover.

"Do you have a reservation, Sir?"

You half-expect him to say no, and that the two of you would have to tuck your tail between your legs and walk out of here to the backdrop of a sad trombone playing.

To your astonishment he says your name. The receptionist tip-taps away at her keyboard and then she nods and smiles gracefully at you both.

"Yes of course. After reviewing your reservation details, I am pleased to inform you that all necessary arrangements have already been made, including advance payment and verification of your identification. Your room is ready for you, we trust you will enjoy your stay."

She flashes you a pearly white smile so shiny it's almost blinding and hands you a hotel key card.

When you turn around, to your confusion Miguel is no longer next to you. How does he keep disappearing like this?

"Cielito," Miguel’s voice calls. The nickname doesn’t register at first. It doesn't even occur to you that he’s referring to you, until he barks it out a second time.

Your head darts up to see him standing by the elevator, tapping his feet impatiently as he waits for you to make it over to him.

"How did you do that?" you whisper loudly to him as you step into the elevator. "Where did you get my ID? How did you make a reservation? How did you--"

He takes your hand, mid-sentence, turning your wrist upwards and taps the watch.

"The computer systems in this universe are child's play for Lyla to manipulate. Reservations, money, ID, she can take care of all of that easily," he explains.

"She can do that?" you ask, and Miguel merely nods at you as the elevator closes behind the two of you.

You tip your head down to inspect your gifted watch. In awe of this technical marvel that would make Siri look like it’s from the stone-ages. You wonder if she can boost your credit scores. She could probably hack any wi-fi password so you'd never have to worry about data throttling again. She could get you table reservations for Libertine! The possibilities are endless!

You turn to Miguel. "Can Lyla get me Beyoncé tickets?" you ask.

He just shakes his head at you with what almost qualifies as an amused smile.

The room upstairs is massive.

It’s easily three times the size of your little studio apartment, and the ceilings are twice as tall, with a hanging glass chandelier that’s sparkling bright enough to blind you. It looks like one of those places featured in Architectural Digest.

Everything is in an art deco style, with expensive looking furniture and even more expensive art hanging on the one spare wall that isn’t covered in floor to ceiling windows. There are large shelves and a sleek looking kitchen, complete with an opulent looking velvet lounge chair of emerald green that looks like something a Roman emperor would be fed grapes on.

In this colossal space of a room, there is only one bed. One colossal, plush-mattress-topped, goose down duvet and probably 1,000,000,000 thread count sheet covered bed.

You tense up, not sure what the arrangements Miguel had in mind. Did he want the two of you to sleep in the same bed?

Miguel did pay for the room, so you’re not going to start voicing objections. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time in the short time span that you two have known each other to do that. This bed is also a lot wider than your tiny double bed, so it wouldn’t be the cramped disaster it was last night. You’d just have to make sure to use the bathroom before bed this time so he doesn’t jab your full bladder in the morning again.

Without saying anything, Miguel strides across the length of the room with impatient and determined steps. His hand reaches for the balcony doors and slides them open.

"Wait wait, where are you going?" you ask him as you run up to the middle of the room.

“I’m sleeping outside,” he says over his shoulder, and your mind boggles with that.

“Why? Isn’t it better for you to stay here?”

"This is the 62nd floor. That’s about as safe as you’re going to get. I’ll keep a lookout to make sure no more helicopters come crashing in.”

You’re not sure if he means the last part as a joke or not, but as you watch his broad back retreating as he walks away from you, a sickening sort of the deja vu twists through your chest.

I can’t save you, he’d said back in your apartment, Nothing can.

The feeling clawing at your chest feels alarmingly like panic. It screams that he’s leaving you. That he’s never coming back. That you’ll never see him again.

You’re being irrational, and you know it. You remind yourself that he wouldn’t have done this much for you only to bail in the middle of the night, but that doesn’t stop the fear that’s festering, sharp and urgent, under your skin, or the way your heart races, your whole body flashing hot and cold at the same time.

You want him to stay.

“Miguel,” you call out, and he immediately stops and turns to look back at you, one eyebrow raised in a skeptical question.

Please stay.

You open your mouth, but the words won’t come out. You can’t ask this man—this big, sarcastic, rude hulk of a man—to have a sleepover with you because you’re scared to be alone in the dark. He would laugh you out of the hotel room.

“Uhm… thank you,” you say instead, but it’s no less sincere, “For everything.”

His eyes soften, the sharp narrowness of them easing up. “It’s fine,” he mumbles, and despite the cold chill of the evening, you think you can see a faint flush blooming in his cheeks, before he quickly ducks his face from you. “I’ll be right outside if something happens.”

He turns back around and walks out, closing the patio doors with a gentle click behind him, leaving you by yourself.

It’s quiet.

You survey the empty room you’re in. Without Miguel’s large frame taking up space, it seems even bigger than it did before.

It’s a beautiful room. Something that you’re pretty sure you’ve seen in a movie set. You don’t know why you’re not as excited as you were before. This is you living your Pretty Woman moment. You should be filling up the big jacuzzi tub you saw with bubbles. Heck, maybe ask Lyla to order you a bottle of champagne from room service.

Instead, your eyes linger on the glass patio doors leading to the balcony terrace. You walk over to the bed, perching yourself down on the edge of the mattress, then flop down.

Might as well try to sleep, you think to yourself as you climb under the covers and switch off the light. The best thing you can do right now is catch yourself some rest so you’ll be alert while trying to figure out your next steps tomorrow.

3 months… That’s what Miguel told you.

That’s all the time you have left.

That means you don’t have time to waste, but you also have no idea where to start. The local library doesn’t exactly carry any resources on how to stop the universe from trying to kill you.

The Universe.

An infinite cosmos, grander than any human being can possibly comprehend. This vast space containing all the galaxies with its billions of stars and planets, where an individual being does not even register as a speck, and it wants you dead. How can you possibly fight against those odds?

You lie wide-eyed and awake staring into the dark of the room, and the feeling of dread gnaws into you.

You don’t want to be alone right now. Turning in the bed, your eyes find their way back to the blank slate of the pitched night outside the balcony doors.

You really wished he had stayed with you.

Sitting upright in the bed, you consider your options. You can lie back down. Suffer insomnia and the existential horror of knowing the universe is trying to murder you. Or you can man up, swallow down whatever tiny morsel of your pride you have left and ask Miguel to come back inside and stay with you.

Flinging the duvet from your body, you get up to walk over to the balcony. You hesitate for a moment before tapping the window pane the way you might knock on a door, giving a polite head's up before you slide the balcony patio open. But when you poke your head out, turning your head left and right, Miguel's nowhere to be found.

Okay, that’s weird. He said he’d be right outside if you needed him. You walk up to the ledge of the balcony terrace, leaning over the rail and peer down to see him dangling upside down, from the ledge of your balcony. The sight nearly makes you scream.

"Miguel!”

At you calling his name, he pulls himself up, one clawed hand gripping at the concrete wall as he climbs his way up and over to you. He makes it look easy, as if gravity does not exist for him, and it’s only a moment until he’s perched on the ledge of the balcony, facing you.

“What’s wrong?” he demands, eyes concerned, and you’re suddenly aware of how very close he is. His face mere inches from yours, your noses nearly touching.

“What’s wrong? You’re hanging upside down from the 62nd floor! What are you, a bat?!"

“Why did you come out here?” he clarifies, and his words give you pause. You try to gather your thoughts after the bizarre sight you just walked into and remember what you came out here for.

He’s still looking at you with his full and intense concentration that makes your skin prickle with warmth.

God, it’s embarrassing to ask. You feel like you’re five years old, asking your parents to turn the nightlight on, even though you know you’re a big girl now and aren’t supposed to be afraid of monsters hiding under your bed any more.

You look down on your hands, where you’re wringing them together, then back up at him, and make yourself spit it out, "Could you… maybe… stay with me tonight?"

His eyes widen at your question, but he doesn’t actually answer you and gives you no physical indication one way or the other.

"I feel safer when you're with me,” you admit.

“I am with you out here,” he counters, because of course he can’t make this easy for you.

“I can’t see you out here.”

The line of his shoulder eases, and he ducks his head down with a resigned sigh. "Fine. Get back inside, Cielito. You're going to catch a cold like this."

You shuffle back inside to your bed, watching out of the corner of your eye as he follows you inside and settles himself on the lounge sofa. He’s so tall that his feet are sticking out over the armrests, like a long-legged stork.

Hiding a smile, you climb back into bed, wrapping the bedding all around yourself.

“Good night,” you call out, and he makes a grumpy noise of acknowledgment.

Your head drops back onto the soft pillow, and you close your eyes, ready to sleep. It’s such a nice bed. The sheets are cool and soft against your skin and smell of fresh eucalyptus. The mattress is the most comfortable you ever remember resting on, firm but somehow soft at the same time. You feel like you’re sleeping on a cloud.

Moments go by, and you revel in the sumptuous bed, waiting for the best sleep of your life to claim you.

Except it doesn’t.

Somehow… you still can’t fall asleep. Is it… too soft maybe? You turn in the bed, twisting your torso to get into a position you can comfortably sink into, but something doesn’t feel right. There’s no lumpiness like at home, but that should be a good thing.

Except… despite the decadent softness of the bed. Despite the fact that the sheets probably have a thread count with more zeros than your checking and savings accounts combined. Despite all of the luxury that surrounds you, you still find yourself tossing and turning and wide fucking awake.

The bed is too big. You don’t know what to do with all this space. Your body is not accustomed to this sort of decadence. What if you suffocate sinking into this soft fluffy pillow in your sleep? What if you toss and turn until you fall off this massive bed and break your neck? Maybe that’s how out of all of the universe’s attempts to kill you, you end up dying?

Fuck!

You can’t sleep.

You turn to your side and stare into the velvet lounge chaise on the opposite side of your room, where Miguel is.

Quietly, you pad up to his still form until you’re standing in front of him and hunch over, trying to decide how rude it would be to wake him up again when there's nothing he can do about your stupid insomnia anyway.

In the dim light, you spot something glinting at you. Looking closer, you notice that the thin chain looped around his neck has escaped his shirt to pool on the fabric of the sofa cushion under him. You gently drag the loose end of the necklace toward you, and find a smooth golden band threaded onto it.

Picking it up cautiously, you flip it in your hand and find that there's something engraved on the inside. It's hard to see in the darkness, but when you lean closer and squint your eyes, you can just make out what it says.

'MO'—undeniably the initials of one Miguel O'Hara.

Twisting the ring slightly, you find a tiny plus sign followed by your own initials, and your heart drops into the pit of your stomach.

Oh.

The memory of sitting across Miguel at Starbucks returns to you, when you had asked him who you were to him. You think of the avoidant gaze and how he couldn't look you in the eye.

‘Something like that,’ huh?

Guess the other you wasn't just his girlfriend after all, you think, chest drawn so tight it’s painful.

Holding the wedding band in the palm of your hand, you slide down to sit down on the floor with your back pressed against the chaise lounge.

Your heart aches for the man in front of you and everything he's lost. You really, really hope you're not going to end up as just another regret on his list.

~ Next Issue

Dedication & Credits: As always to my best friend @thirstworldproblemss I am half asleep and running on fumes. I'm wording things poorly but I just want you to know that I am very happy I have you. Thank you for being my friend and for the time we get to spend together. I have the most fun when I'm with you.

Also to @guruan who is my muse, my source of inspiration. This chapter is dedicated to her because have you seen this beautiful piece of artwork she did for EYEM?!

#miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara fic #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara fanfic #miguel o'hara fanfiction #spiderverse #oscar isaac #across the spiderverse #marvel #spiderverse fanfiction #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara #miguel ohara x you #marvel mcu

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doublel27 · 11 days

Text

Okay, so fresh Wandee Goodday theory coming through.

I know we all thought Yak was going to be the one who knew he fell first, because he’s in so deep, but after Ep 4, I’m not so sure.

One, Dee has Plakao to be his voice of reason and is already admitting to Kao that he’s jealous of Yak’s crush and Kao is making observations like this.

Conversely, when confronted by Cher about his feelings for Dee through the evidence of giving away his prized name necklace and effectively claiming Dee, Yak denies it by saying that Cher already knows who Yak has feelings for and when pushed says this:

Which, the phrasing of “I’m not someone who changes his mind easily.” Is a really interesting denial. Because he’s affirming his commitment to his feelings for Taem. That just because he has Dee and they’re close doesn’t mean he’s going to change his mind or his feelings.

And it got me thinking of some other bits of nuggets we got about the Phadetseuk family.

His mom opened the gym and when asked about his parents Yak makes the saddest faces.

We now know thanks to the cold shower that was this week’s cold open that their mother died. But that leaves us with the question of where is their dad. Because my sweetest boys were alone at the hospital.

And their dad wasn’t there. Now maybe something happened to their dad, but there is an actor listed for Yei and Yak’s father and step mother.

Which made me speculate that perhaps there’s a reason that Yak is committed to not changing his feelings for Taem. Perhaps his determination to not be a person who changes his mind easily is tied to their father leaving their mother for their step-mother. And the concept of being like his father, someone whose feelings change easily, and can leave someone they care for, is not something Yak would want.

And I wonder, if this is true (and I could be wrong) how long Yak will hold on to his feelings for Taem even though she does not return them and how committed he will be to becoming a different person so that she might like him when Dee likes him exactly as he is.

Definitely curious if part of his feelings for Taem are tied to her helping him study and how his mom sat and encouraged him. Dee filled a bit of that function this week and it was a beautiful parallel but Taem has been doing it longer.

And don’t get me wrong, Dee is gonna have his own issues. He’s a hopeless romantic who definitely is not always the most reliable narrator, but he’s coming around. Still waiting to learn more about his parents car accident and how that’s left him desperately wanting someone to care for him.

These two are delightful and well fleshed out characters. I cannot wait to watch them continue to stumble through this fake dating disaster they’ve created.

#wandee goodday #wandee gooday the series #yakdee #yakwandee #yoryakwandee #yoryak x wandee #deeyak #wandeeyak #wandeeyoryak #wandee wittaya #yoryak phadetseuk #wandee goodday meta #doublel27 talks

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jessmaybank · 11 months

Text

Right here - Rafe Cameron

Based on the song Right here by Chase Atlantic

Outer banks x chase atlantic masterlist

Navigation

Pairing(s): Rafe Cameron x fem! Reader

Word count: 7.4k

Summary: in which a secret friends with benefits relationship gets messy.

Warnings: drug use (weed), swearing, SMUT, fingering, unprotected sex, choking, nipple play, oral (f receiving).

AN: lots of mutual pining, teasing, jealousy & angst. friends to lovers. This is easily my fave thing I’ve ever written. Flashbacks are in italics, enjoy!

I'm so far from the line, yeah

I'm too deep in my mind, yeah

If she calls, I'll be right there

That's three calls in a night, yeah

“Hey” she says quietly, phone pressed to her ear as she answers his call in the middle of the night, something she still hadn’t quite grown accustomed too yet. her voice sounded so delicate and sweet, it made Rafe’s head rush.

This was the third call she had received from him this week, and it always ended the same. Each time she would tell herself that it was the last, but here she was, tangled within her lilac sheets, unable to let the call go to voicemail. She always seemed to bend her rules when it came to him.

“Hey. Did I wake you up?” He asks, voice tainted with something that sounded like concern, but she wasn’t quite sure. Rafe wasn’t exactly known for his ability to emphasise with others. Rather, his actions were always driven by his own selfish wants and needs, and he was extremely stubborn. That was was something which she learnt the day their arrangement started.

“Rafe, I swear to god, move. I shotgunned the couch” she said, arms crossed as her lips move into a small pout, her doe eyes hard to miss.

Rafe thought the expression was nothing less than adorable, observing the way her eyebrows were furrowed slightly to be more convincing, hoping to get some sympathy out of him. But despite the frown on her face, he knew she was biting back a smile. She liked being teased just as much as he liked teasing her.

The corners of his mouth upturned into an amused grin, something which should of annoyed her further, but it didn’t. Instead, she had to bite her tongue to stop herself from matching his expression.

They were at toppers house, in the midst of a party which had just began to die down, the crowds of young adults sprawled around the large living room getting smaller by the minute. She had no intention of going home anytime soon, and neither did he.

“Not anymore, angel” he says, manspreading on the couch to get comfortable, but also just as a way to tease her further. But once again, the familiar nickname he picked for her, and only her, made it near impossible for her to be mad at him.

They had been friends for a long time now, so in theory she should have been used to it, but she just wasn’t. Every time the word left his cherry red lips, she felt like a giddy teenager again.

She sighs in defeat, tugging on one of the loose threads of his hoodie which he gave her, one of the many endearing gestures which made all the constant teasing seemingly tolerable.

“Stop being greedy and just sit next to me” he says, patting the empty space next to him. His shiny gold rings that decorated his fingers were a stark contrast to the dim light which began to engulf the room as it grew later into the night, and she began to wonder how one mans hands could be so attractive.

Maybe she was being greedy for wanting the whole couch to herself, but she was not about to be criticised by Rafe Cameron himself. He was quite literally the epitome of greed, even if she failed to recognise that sometimes, her delusion towards him a symbol of her naive nature.

She pretended to hesitate before sitting down on the couch next to him, the smell of her sweet perfume invading his senses, throwing him off track. She was the only person who could make his nonchalant nature falter so easy, and the feeling was so unfamiliar to him he almost felt uneasy whenever she was near.

Every time Topper threw a party, she had an end-of-night tradition. She would sprawl across the expensive couch with a blanket, smoke the pre-rolled joint she would bring with her every time, and slowly become one which the couch, her body melting into the white leather. Luckily, Toppers parents were gone for the week this time, so she had permission to smoke inside.

She turned her body, leaning her back against the armrest of the couch, before draping her legs over Rafe’s lap. They weren’t exactly used to such affections at this stage in their relationship, but she was a bit tipsy, and she certainly wasn’t going to let him stop her from getting comfy.

Her squeaky clean converse dug into his thigh a little, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he sent her a glare, and he prayed he put on a good enough of a show to convince her it was real.

“What? I warned you” she said, shifting slightly to retrieve the blanket which was hung on the back of the couch, throwing it over them both.

Rafe placed his hands under the blanket and rested them on her legs, just below her knees, the evening breeze coming through the windows seemingly prevalent. He was a bit cold in his t-shirt, but he would never dare to ask for his hoodie back. He noted how warm she felt as his fingers brushed the bare skin of her legs, and suddenly he wanted to bury his head between them.

She dug her dainty hands into the pocket of his hoodie, retrieving a slightly crumpled joint and a dodgy lighter. Her manicured pink nails made her hands look so fragile, and Rafe couldn’t fathom how one girls hands could be so fucking cute.

She lights the joint, the flame lighting up her face in an orange tint, the warm hue painted over her features a perfect picture to him. He watched as she inhaled and exhaled again and again, and it dawned on him then that he could watch her do anything, and he would never get bored.

“Sharing is caring, angel” he says, placing his hand out in front of her. She rolled her eyes, but couldn’t suppress the small grin which graced her lips, her sweetness practically radiating off her as she passed him the joint, captivated in the way he inhaled before blowing a thick cloud of smoke into the living room, blurring their vision slightly.

Weed always made Rafe a little more touchy than usual. When he’s sober, his anxiety is always apparent in his tensed muscles or his clenched jaw, or the way he always runs his hands through his hair when he’s stressed out. But as soon as marijuana was flowing through him, his mind relaxed, and so did his body.

he’s pretty dazed by the time he passes the joint back. He digs his hands under the blanket once again, running the tips of his fingers innocently across her thighs, relishing in her smooth skin. but the feeling it caused her was anything but innocent.

“Do you mind?” She says, her voice betraying her as it came out shaky. He turned his head, and when she saw the mischievous glint which lay behind his bloodshot eyes, she knew she was in trouble.

He had to poke the inside of his cheek with his tongue to suppress a grin. He thought her flustered state was completely endearing, and he loved knowing the effect he had on her. “Am I distracting you, angel?”

“No” yes.

She hoped she was convincing, but he could see right through her, mostly as he observed the way she drew in a sharp breath as his hands travelled further and further up her leg, her skin tingling at his touch.

“You see, I don’t believe you” he smirks, shifting towards her, his hand stopping right at the hem of her denim mini skirt, fingers dipping under the material ever so slightly, as if he was daring himself to go even further.

“Rafe” she whispers. fuck. His name had never sounded so pretty until it came out of her mouth.

She took another hit of the joint, trying to distract herself from his dirty little games. But the higher she got, the more she melted into his touch.

She sent him a half-hearted pleading look, one which should of convinced him to back away, but unfortunately for her, he could read her like his favourite book, and the way her legs squirmed on top of him, parting ever so slightly, gave him all the confirmation he needed.

His fingers dipped under her skirt, the cold metal of his rings grazing the top of her thigh, cooling down her burning skin. She looked around, making sure no one was paying attention, and relaxed a little when she noticed everyone left was either passed out or too engrossed in conversation to notice either of them.

His lips parted as he made contact with her clothed pussy, coming to the realisation her lace underwear was soaked. His shorts tightened as his cock grew rock hard, and he prayed she couldn’t feel it under her legs, but of course she could.

Her legs squirmed once again as he started toying with her clothed clit, her calf’s rubbing right against his cock, and he swore she was hell-bent on torturing him.

Her eyes fluttered shut as his hand dove into her underwear, running his fingers up her folds, almost groaning as he felt her arousal. The heavy pants coming from her glossy lips were drowned out by the music which played from toppers speaker, and suddenly Rafe wished the room was silent.

The joint fell from her fingers and onto the blanket as he inserted two fingers inside of her, the pit of her stomach heating up as pleasure flows through her, sinking her body further into the couch.

He retrieved the joint with his free hand before it burnt a hole in the blanket, taking a hit before putting the roach into the ash tray next to him. She was shocked at how nonchalant he looked, pretending as if his fingers weren’t inside of her as they sat in a room with all of their friends, at risk of being caught at any moment.

He began to pump his fingers in and out of her, in awe of the way she struggled to keep her eyes open, the bloodshot whites in her eyes making her look even more fucked out. He draped his free arm on the back of the couch as he continued to finger fuck her with his other, and when their eyes met, electricity shot down her spine, entranced by his blown out pupils.

she lifted the blanket to cover her mouth as moans threatened to spill out of her, her legs now spread for him underneath the soft material. He didn’t care that they weren’t alone, he didn’t like the fact she wanted to hide her face from him.

He shakes his head slightly, tutting as he brings his free arm down, pulling the blanket from her face before cupping her jaw. “Let me see you” he said, his voice steady. And as she bit her lip to suppress a whimper, pussy clenching around his fingers, he knew he was in trouble.

“No, I can’t seem to sleep” she says, voice quiet through the phone, but he heard her clearly.

“I’ve been thinking about you today. Can you come over?” he says, and her eyes shut in defeat.

He would always do this, call her up and sweet talk her into coming over so they could fuck. Rafe never gave any of his feelings away, living up to his fuck boy reputation, and so everytime she would leave his house, thinking she was nothing but a warm body to him, she swore to herself she would never let him pull at her heartstrings like that again.

But just like him, her lack of self control betrayed her every time.

She takes a while to respond, and Rafe had to question if he managed to fuck everything up in a 2 minute phone call.

“I’ll be there in 10” she says, her voice sweet like honey, and finally he felt like he could breathe again.

Well girl, what do you think about

Staying right here in bed?

I didn't hear a word you said

I wasn't that high, I swear

Her eyes drifted open at around 8am, the morning sun making her wince as she tries to focus her vision, shifting uncomfortably in the bed. Her movements come to a halt as she feels the weight of someone pressed up behind her, arm draped over her waist and head buried behind her neck.

Her eyes widen slightly as she turns so she’s almost on her back, observing how at peace Rafe looked as he was cuddled up to her, his chest rising and falling every few seconds, the sounds of his breathing relaxing her somewhat.

She must of passed out before she had the chance to leave last night, which happened sometimes whenever they were together super late. Sometimes, by the time Rafe was done with her, she would actually struggle to move, exhaustion overtaking her limp body.

But this was the first time they woke up like this. Usually, she would stick to her side of the bed, and he would stick to hers, abiding by Rafe’s stupid rule of no cuddling, as if it would somehow cure his growing infatuation for her.

He was not a relationship person, and that was something she definitely learnt the hard way. Growing up in the household that be did, Rafe had always struggled with letting people in. His father had made it impossible for him to trust, and whenever he got close, he would bolt, too scared to let himself feel anything.

For some reason, he just couldn’t bring himself to let go of her. So instead, he made a bunch of stupid rules, in the hopes that it would stop him falling too deep.

Peering up at him with tired eyes, she came to the realisation that she would let him do anything to her as long as it meant he was this close. She would let him walk all over her, whatever way he wanted, if it meant she could stay in bed, like this, with him, just for a little longer.

She almost jumped out of her skin as Rose called for Rafe from downstairs, and the moment she could see his eyes battling to open beneath his eyelids, she turned back around, pretending to be asleep.

he shifted behind her as his eyes fluttered open, adjusting to his surroundings. He mentally cursed his lack of self control as he observed the position he was in, but surprisingly, he didn’t move.

Instead, he ran his fingers through a lock of her hair, the sweet smell of her strawberry shampoo making him second guess every single decision he’s ever made. He trailed his fingers all the way down to the curves of her bare hips, before planting a sweet kiss on the back of her head. It took everything in her to remain still, to suppress a bright smile, but she did, ignoring the shiver that ran down her spine at his sweet affections.

Rose called for him again, and he rolled his eyes, but he still just couldn’t bring himself to move. He trailed his eyes to last nights hickeys that were littered across her neck and shoulder, and he realised then that maybe, just maybe, he would bend his rules, if it meant he could stay in bed, like this, with her, just for a little longer.

It's happening again

Well, I don't give a fuck about your friends

I'm right here

Oh, baby, take a look around

I'm the only one that hasn't walked out

I'm right here

His eyes spotted her as soon as she entered his house, seemingly uninterested in the party around him. She looked good, too good, as he observed her appearance. Her summer dress painted her figure in the most delectable way, and her glossy lips looked so succulent he had to hold himself back from kissing her when she sat down next to him.

“You look happy” she says, sarcasm dripping off her tongue as she speaks. The amusing look on her face subsided as she noticed the way he licked his red lips, his blue orbs filled with something she couldn’t place.

She lent back, still facing him, almost touching his arm that was draped over the back of the couch, his fingers close to her shoulder. It took everything in him not to run his fingers along her soft skin, a deep craving to trail his fingers over the freckles littered on her shoulder, and he had to question wether he was starting to go insane.

“You didn’t answer yesterday” he says, taking a swig of his bottle of whiskey, a usual favourite for him.

Is that why he looked so glum? It couldn’t be, it’s Rafe we’re talking about here. So then why did he look so doleful? She was burning to know, but she knew better than to pry when it came to him. So, she tried to comfort him in the only way she knew he would let him.

“Can I make it up to you?” She says sweetly, and that caught his attention instantly, head turning to face her. Her doe eyes were glistening with desire, her organs pumping with adrenaline, and she swore she saw his features soften.

Her sinful thoughts were interrupted by a tap on the shoulder, and she caught the way that Rafe’s jaw clenched at something behind her before she turned around, revealing some touron she met at party a couple weeks ago. If she was being honest, she didn’t even remember his name, but she didn’t have the heart to be rude.

And just like that, she was ripped away from him, the missing warmth from her beside him making his insides twist in the worst way possible as he watched her disappear into the crowd, muscles tensing as he paid attention to how her hands were intertwined with his. Is that why she didn’t answer yesterday? Was she with him? His blood ran cold at the thought, his face contorting with disappointment as he ran a hand through his hair, taking an extra big sip of his whiskey.

He then focused his dull gaze on the empty seat beside him, and before he knew it, time started to slow.

They both sat naked in his living room, her heart racing as she straddled him, arms wrapped tightly around his neck. The sweetness of her cherry lip gloss drowned his tongue as he hummed into her mouth, her insides tingling at the sweet sound as their lips moved together in a passionate kiss.

She realised then that she loved every single sound he made. Even if it was a rude remark, which wasn’t exactly uncommon with Rafe, at least it was something. At least she got to hear him.

“Fuck, I’ve missed you” he mumbled into her mouth, fingers entwined in her messy hair. His voice was low and quiet, but the words pierced through her heart as if he shouted it at the top of his lungs.

She noticed that he would only say nice things to her when they were fucking, and although she didn’t complain in the moment, she always felt uneasy afterwards, his empty words lingering in her mind.

“Yeah?” God. Her voice sounded so weak and fragile, she wished she could just lay on the floor and let the ground swallow her hole. Maybe then, her conflicting thoughts would finally subside.

But Fuck, he loved when she was nervous because of him. Her shaky voice made his lips curl up into a smirk, pushing her hips down in line with his cock, watching her lidded eyes as she pushed herself down onto him, stretching her out and taking him whole.

“Your so fucking beautiful, angel” he moaned, not being able to stop his thoughts whilst he was inside her. In fact, he never could. Whenever they had sex, he would just speak his mind freely, not being able to hold back.

Her moans were full of sin as she began to bounce on his cock, digging her pink nails into his shoulders and throwing her head back in pleasure. He took the opportunity to wrap a hand round her neck, squeezing just the right amount, making sure he didn’t hurt her too much. He brought his other hand up to play with her nipple, pinching on the sensitive skin, and she jerked on top of him, making him smirk.

“Fucking addictive” he mumbles, letting go of her neck and gripping her hair instead, pulling her head forward to look him right in the eyes.

“Don’t say things you don’t mean” she says, clawing her nails down his bare chest, leaving little red marks to replace the old faded ones.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her up and pushing her against the couch, her back sinking into the soft material. “Oh, I mean it”

Her eyes screw shut as he pounds into her, her breathing increasingly unorganised as his nails dug into her hips. His forehead glistened with a thin layer of sweat, his hair sticking to it, and he had to bite back a smile as he saw how fucked out she was beneath him, her cheeks stained with a faint redness.

“I hate you” she says, a sincere look on her face. And if he didn’t feel her pussy clenching around him in that moment, he might of believed her.

“Earth to Rafe” Topper says, waving his hand in front of his face, and he snapped back to reality.

“Jesus man, what’s gotten into you”

He shrugs in response, an unamused look on his face. “You playing?” Topper asks, turning his head towards the circle of people sat in the middle of the room. Rafe follows toppers line of vision, and his jaw clenches. Usually, he doesn’t indulge in party games, but as soon as he saw her sat in the circle, he was making his way over.

She sat with her best friend, Tara, laughing and giggling as she sips on her vodka soda. He sat down opposite her, their eyes meeting, and suddenly it was like they were the only two people in the room.

“Rafe looks good tonight, doesn’t he” Tara says, a small smile painting her features, snapping her out of her daze. No one knew about their arrangement, and so she didn’t really have a right to be mad, but she couldn’t deny the way her heart sank at her friends words.

“I guess” she says, doing her best to mask her jealousy with a bored look, but it didn’t really work.

The games started off innocent, a few harmless truths and dares, but as always, it turned sexual very quickly. Topper was always the one to blame for that.

“Okay, this round is 7 minutes in heaven. You know the rules, if the bottle lands on you, you have to spend 7 minutes locked in a room with whoever it lands on next. No backing out” Kelce says, and her heart began to beat a little faster.

Kelce lent forward, gripping the glass beer bottle and giving it a spin. Rafe looked across at her, observing how her eyes were glued to the bottle as it span, and he hoped to god he wasn’t going to have to watch her go into a room with somebody else.

His thoughts were interrupted as their eyes connected, and confusion filled him as he took notice of her wide eyes. He looked down, and when he realised the bottle was pointed at him, it was like all the colour drained from his face.

People began to cheer around them, topper leaning over to pat his back, but she couldn’t do anything but sit, completely frozen. Kelce then span the bottle again, and her heart sank to her feet as it landed on Tara.

Tara giggled as she stood up, smoothing out her dress with her hands, but Rafe didn’t move, clearly hesitant. He tried to ignore the alcohol induced encouragement from everyone around them, and she had a sliver of hope that maybe he wouldn’t do it.

But when she saw him stand up and begin to lead her best friend into one of the downstairs bedrooms, it was like a dagger straight through the heart. She sat there for a minute or two, in her own world as she pinched herself, over and over again, to stop the tears which threatened to spill out of her.

She made her way outside, pushing through the back doors of the house and into the empty garden, the evening breeze giving her goosebumps. She knew she only had herself to blame, he told her what it was from the start and she didn’t listen, but that didn’t make the pain any easier.

She sat down on the stairs of the outside decking, arms crossed as she rubs her arms, trying to warm herself up. She heard some commotion from inside, and turned her head to see through the glass doors.

Everyone cheered as Rafe and Tara made their way out into the living room, and she struggled to breathe as she observed the way Tara pulled her dress down and fixed her hair, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out what went on.

Rafe’s heart sank as he returned, scanning around the room to find she was no where to be seen. His gaze landed on her figure outside, and he didn’t hesitate to make his way to her, ignoring the confused looks from Topper and Kelce as he walked straight passed them.

She didn’t have to guess who it was as she heard the door open, and she shot up, walking towards the pool, not wanting to speak to him just yet.

“Where are you running off to?” He says, a quizzical look on his face as he follows her down the garden, shoving his arms in his pockets.

“My best friend, Rafe, really?” She says, sass laced within her voice as she runs a hand through her hair, halting her movements as she stands right in front of the pool, the moonlight reflecting in the water ever so slightly.

“Nothing happened” he replied, and although he knew she would never believe it, he was telling the truth.

Yes, it’s true, Rafe may be known for having a wandering eye, but as Tara sat on the bed, trying her best to seduce him, he just knew no one could ever compare to her.

“Bullshit”

She scoffs at him, her features contorting with anger as she stares at the water ahead, knowing the second she looks at him, she would give in. “I know that we’re just friends” she starts, ignoring the despair in the pit of her stomach as she cringes at her own words.

“But friends don’t disrespect each other. And believe it or not Rafe, fucking my friends falls under that category” she shouts, her voice raised as she now turns to face him.

“I don’t give a fuck about your friends, okay. I’m right here with you, am I not?” He replies back, his frustration evident in his tone.

He wished she believed him. He wished she knew that sometimes, he couldn’t even sleep at night, too wound up in thinking about how soft her hair was, or how cute she looked in the mornings when they would wake up together, and she was wearing nothing but his t-shirt.

“Yeah, after you had your fun” she mumbles quietly, but he heard it. Something in his mind clicked, and he wasn’t sure why it took him so long, but he finally figured out what was going on.

The corners of lips turned upwards into a shit eating grin, and she swore she had never been so close to punching him.

He takes a step forward, their shoes touching, and brings a finger to her chin, pushing her head up to look him straight in the eyes.

“Your jealous” he says teasingly, his features a picture of pure joy.

“Your insufferable” she says, rolling her eyes, trying her best to be rude even though he was right. But all he could concentrate on was the fact she didn’t even deny it.

Her poker face disappears as he moves her hair off her shoulders, bringing his head down to plant harsh kisses along her neck, biting the sweet spot in the way he knew she liked it.

“Admit it” he mumbles into her neck, his hot breath making her insides tingle.

She debated it for a second, before she decided she had a better idea.

She palmed his cock through his shorts, trying not to get distracted by him as he lifted his head up, mouth agape, his darkened eyes illustrating that he wanted to devour her mercilessly.

And when she knew he was fully distracted, she pushed him into the pool.

Rafe emerged from the rippling water, his wet hair clinging to her forehead, and she couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“I wish I could say I’m sorry” she giggles, bending down and crouching to get a better look at him, ignoring the glare that painted his features.

His glare didn’t stay for long, too caught up in how cute her laugh was. The cogs in his brain turned as his eyebrows furrowed into a thoughtful look, and before she could react, he was tugging on her arms and pulling her into the pool with him.

“Fuck you!” She shouts, almost chocking on the water as she laughs, making sure to splash him in the face.

“All you have to do is ask, angel” he smirks, trailing his eyes down to her breasts, rejoicing in the way her hardened nipples were poking through her dress, like they were begging to be touched.

He swims towards her, skin glistening with water droplets, and she just couldn’t help but stare at him in absolute awe.

He dipped his head down, brushing his lips against hers, lingering there for a moment as he grabs her thighs, wrapping them around his waist and pushing her back against the pool wall. Her hands clung to his wet hair, and as she registered just how heavy her breathing was, she knew she was too far gone.

“Someone’s ganna see” she whispers, unable to concentrate when he’s touching her like this.

“Let them” he says, his voice hoarse. He brought his hand up to cup her flushed cheek, before their lips connected in a sweet kiss.

One draw at a time, yeah

One more, you'll be fine, yeah

And I swear she was right there

The blue glow and the night wear

“Tell me how you want it, angel” he mumbles into her collar bone, trailing sloppy kisses all the way down from her breasts to her stomach.

He had turned up to her house in the middle of the day, not even bothering to phone her. It was rare that they spent time together during daylight hours, but she wasn’t exactly complaining. And as always, it had taken him all of 5 minutes until he had her striped down to her underwear, her black lingerie set making his head rush.

“Slow” is all she says, and he’s a bit taken back, lifting himself up so their face to face again. Rafe was an experienced man, but never has he once had slow sex. She lifted her head into the krook of his neck, planting sweet kisses along his skin and up to his jawline, occasionally biting, but not enough to actually hurt him. He came to the conclusion then that as long as she kept kissing him like that, he would try anything for her.

He hooked his fingers in her underwear, pulling them down her legs and revealing her drenched pussy. It didn’t matter how many times Rafe saw her naked, each time still felt like the first.

He buried his head between her legs and kissed her throbbing clit, before lapping his tongue teasingly over the bundle of nerves, small whimpers leaving her mouth at the sensation. She dug her manicured nails into her sheets, and she could feel him smirk against her pussy.

“You like that?” He asks lowly, even though he already knew the answer. She nodded her head, screwing her eyes shut as his licks got harsher, but remained slow.

He placed one hand on her stomach as he ate her out, looking up at her blissful state, and as she moaned his name, he felt like he had died and gone to heaven.

He pulled away, climbing up her body to meet her face once again, pulling on her bottom lip with his teeth as he lined himself up with her entrance, pushing his cock into her painfully slowly. The pit in her stomach grew heavier and heavier as he stretched her out, and he practically groaned into her mouth.

He started fucking her with slow but harsh strokes, gazing deeply into her eyes, and it dawned on him then that this felt like more than just sex. He trailed his thumb along her bottom lip before pushing it into her mouth, watching as she sucked on it with lidded eyes, and as she looked up at him, she realised that his blue orbs had some green in them.

What he didn’t know, was that when he knocked on her door earlier that day, and she peered at him through her window, she decided that this had to be the last time they fucked. The jealousy and sadness that he brought on her was turning her into someone that she didn’t recognise, and she knew she had to stop before it was too late, before he had broke her completely.

She savoured every minute as he thrusted into her, digging her nails down his back, leaving little red marks. He replaced his thumb with his lips, tongue diving down her throat as she hummed into his mouth, their kiss sloppy as they were both moaning messes.

He buried his head in her neck, biting her shoulder gently as his eyes screwed shut, overwhelmed at how good this felt even though it wasn’t what he was used to.

The feeling was so bittersweet as she let a single tear roll down her red cheeks, tangling her hands in his hair, only now realising that she had fallen in love with Rafe Cameron, and now she was going to have to heal.

Girl, I've been taking it slow

You know I've been taking it slow

You're sitting alone, why are you sitting alone?

Baby, just pick up your phone, oh

'Cause I've been rolling all damn night, whoa

She took a sip of her champagne as she walked through the beautiful flower garden, mentally praising Toppers parents for choosing to get married in such a picturesque place.

Her hair was plaited into two, with daisy flowers weaved into her hair, sticking to the floral theme of the wedding, and her lilac silk dress was accompanied with matching heels.

She walked to the end of the establishment, making sure no one else was around, before retrieving a crumpled up joint and a lighter from her purse, wasting no time in lighting it, staring at all the luscious plants around her as her body started to relax.

She’s interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat, and she almost gave herself whiplash with how fast she turned around.

“Jesus! Has anyone ever told you it’s rude to creep up on people?” She asks, eyes slightly wide as she takes a look at the man in front of her. He stood in a black suit, which she could tell was expensive, and a glass of whiskey sat in his ring clad hand, the condensation from the glass rolling down his fingers.

“Says the one getting stoned at a wedding” he says, smirking as he gestures to the lit joint in her hand.

“Hm, touché. But its the only way I’m going to be able to get through Toppers mums speech. I love Top with all my heart, but that woman is the devil” she says, taking a drag of her joint, watching as some of the loose embers fall onto the floor.

He laughs then, a real laugh, which for some reason melted her insides, and her cherry red lips turned upwards into a bright smile.

All Rafe could think about was how someone as beautiful as her could exist, and he didn’t even know about it. He made a mental note to punch Topper later for not introducing her to him.

“You like daisies?” He asks, and confusion fills her features for a second before she realised he’s talking about her hair.

“Uh, yeah. They were my mum’s favourite” she said, a certain dullness laying behind her eyes. His hands grew clammy as he put two and two together, but he didn’t say anything, not wanting to intrude on the personal life of a complete stranger.

“I like it. You kind of look like an angel” he says, and he clears his throat as he realised what he just said, his forwardness even shocking himself.

Her smile never wavered as he spoke, features lighting up at his kind words, and suddenly she needed to know who on earth this man was.

“I’m Y/N” she says, leaning her arm out to shake his, her dainty arms no match for his muscular ones.

“Rafe” he responds, mirroring her actions, and as soon as his skin touched hers, she had a feeling he was here to stay.

She sat alone in the island club, watching her phone light up as his contact came onto the slightly cracked screen, the small vibrations of her ringtone filling the room. Her head fell into her hands as she sighed, doing everything she could to go against her urges to answer the call.

She had been ignoring him for a few days, trying to detach herself, but every time he called, she got closer and closer to caving. Everything she did was for him, and now, everything she was doing was because of him, and it was so painful.

Rafe was at toppers with the boys, sipping on his whiskey as he held his phone up to his ear, listening to his ringer as the call went to voicemail for the third time that night.

“Fuck” he mumbled, running a hand through his hair as he shifted on the couch, the same couch where he had his first sinful encounter with her.

“Who are you calling?” Kelce says, eyes squinting with suspicion as he looks at Rafe, registering his stressed out state.

“No one” he replies, and it was impossible to miss the look that Kelce and Topper gave each other.

“Rafe, you might think you were being sneaky, but we know you’ve been seeing Y/N for months now. You guys are kinda obvious” Topper says, eyebrows raised as he confesses to his best friend, a small smile on his face.

“Plus, I saw you guys fucking in the pool the other night” Kelce says, and Rafe’s eyes widen.

“Shit” he says, not really sure what to say. For the first time in his life, he was stumped.

“You really like her, huh?” Topper says, always able to know what his best friend was thinking.

Rafe hesitated before nodding his head, taking another sip of his whiskey, rejoicing in the way it warmed his insides and numbed his pain.

“She won’t return my calls” he says, his mind a spiralling mess. He was trying to rack his brain to figure out what he had done wrong, but the more he thought about it the more confused he got.

“you have to make a gesture, something to show you care. Girls eat that shit up man” Topper said, patting Rafe on the back, Kelce nodding along with him. And as he was racking his brain for ideas, one thing did spring to mind.

Oh, baby, take a look around

I’m the only one that hasn’t walked out

I'm right here

She scanned the perimeter as she stepped onto the boat, the salty smell of the ocean wafting through the mid-day air. She spotted topper at the bar almost immediately, making some sort of cocktail concoction, and she couldn’t help but giggle as she walked up to him.

“Your late” Topper says as he spots her, the sound of the blender making it hard for her to hear, but she did.

“Fashionably late” she corrects him, gesturing to her matching bikini, lifting her sunglasses off of her eyes and resting them on her head, her hair cascading off her shoulders elegantly.

“Why am I here anyway? Frozen Margarita’s don’t really seem like much of an emergency” she says, eyebrows raised as an amused look paints her features.

“Oh but it is. I need you to test my recipe” he says, and as much as she wanted to be annoyed for dragging her out here for no reason, a margarita did sound good.

“Can you go get me some more lime juice from downstairs?” he says, and she nodded her head in response, placing her purse down on the bar before heading for the stairs.

The heels of her wedges clicked as she walked down the wooden stairs, heading straight to the downstairs bar. She flicked through the cupboards as she tried to find the desired lime juice, before her eyes landed on a glass vase which sat in the middle of the bar.

She drew in a sharp breath as she gazed at the bouquet of fresh daisies, accompanied by a card with her name on it, and her eyebrows furrowed. She brought her hand up to stroke the fragile petals, and the memory of her mother plagued her mind.

“What the-“

“They were your mother’s favourite” a male voice says, and she didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. “I remembered”

He pulled on her heartstrings as he stood in the doorway, a baseball cap sitting backwards lazily on his head, and a crooked smile on his ruby red lips that she could never get tired of, no matter how hard she tried. She couldn’t believe he remembered such a small detail like that, and she began to think maybe her prejudice towards him was all wrong.

“Rafe” she says quietly, clearly in shock, her doe eyes wide as he makes his way to her, and holy shit, he never really could get over how his name rolled off her tongue so sweetly.

“What are you doing?”

“What I’ve wanted to do since the day we met” he said, and she couldn’t bring herself to do anything but stare at him in awe as goosebumps formed along her tanned skin, melting into his touch as he brought a hand up to her cheek, stroking the skin with his thumb before cupping her cheek in his hand.

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a dick. I’m sorry I made all these stupid rules for us, like no cuddling, or keeping us a secret, because the truth is, every time your near, it takes every ounce of my self restraint not to touch you, or not to tell you that every inch of me belongs to you” he says, wrapping one hand around her waist, pressing her body against his, and she prayed he couldn’t feel how fast hear heart was beating right now.

“I only did those things because I was scared of actually letting someone in” he says, finally letting himself breathe as he paused. “Scared of having to admit that I love you, angel”

She grinned like a cheshire cat as he finished his sentence, admiring the way his cheeks blushed with a faint redness as he poured his heart out, and she swung her arms around his neck tightly, never wanting to let go.

“I love you too” she says, before reaching up on her tiptoes and claiming his lips in a gentle kiss.

“You know i would do anything for you, right?” She whispers against his lips, practically breathing the same air as him, and just like that, his signature smirk was back.

“Well in that case, how about you start with taking this flimsy thing off” he says, pulling on the straps of her bikini top, a small giggle leaving her glossy lips as she playfully hit his arm.

“Gross. Please don’t” Topper says, and they both jumped out of their skin as they spotted him in the doorway, arm leant against the wooden frame with a smug look on his face.

“Jesus! How long have you been standing there?”

Oh, baby take a look around

I'm the only one that hasn't walked out

I'm right here

#obx #outer banks #drew starkey #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron imagine #Rafe Cameron fwb #rafe x reader #rafe obx #rafe x y/n #rafe x female!mc

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merakiui · 8 months

Text

while in captivity, floyd encounters a human and unintentionally pair-bonds with you during a moment of biological vulnerability.

(cw: gender neutral reader, nsfw, omegaverse/abo, heats, captivity)

The marine lab has recently acquired a unique specimen—unique in that he is half-human and half-fish, hailing from deep, dark, indescribable depths. An eel merman, to be exact. You’ve only ever glimpsed merfolk in outdated textbooks and fairytales, the latter of which depicted them as whimsical beings capable of feats beyond scientific understanding. Magic. Although in the realm of biology, such folly is never entertained and so what the world calls ‘magic’ other fields built upon the foundations of research refer to it as a ‘miracle’. In your eyes those words are interchangeable, but then the idea of a miracle is far easier to digest than the concept of magic.

Merfolk have always been elusive, covert creatures, hence why there is hardly any conclusive data on them. In fact, they’re so secretive that they were believed to be mostly extinct—a figment of dreams and hallucinations. Most of what humans know stems from the tattered notes of long-gone sailors, their presences nearly lost to time itself, and for a while all anyone ever knew were four key details:

They are spread throughout the sea, living out their lives in frigid fathoms.

They are hypnotic and deceptive.

They are predatory.

They rarely interact with humankind unless absolutely necessary (e.g. to hunt or observe).

But with plenty of promising technological advances, some of the theories and myths surrounding merfolk have been bolstered or disproved, respectively. Merfolk are just as diverse as the rest of the animal kingdom. Some live in solitude. Others thrive in groups. Some make their home out of caves and grottos. Some dwell within the labyrinths of volcanic rock formations. It is every marine biologist’s dream to come face to face with one of these mysterious creatures, if only for just a few minutes to glean more information.

That dream is made reality today.

The eel mer was discovered off the coast of a tiny island, entangled in fishing lines and plastic litter. His large, winding body, snake-like in its sleek build, was littered with scars and scrapes. There was a hook lodged up in the folds of his gills. Despite his thrashing, his tail swishing wildly in the sand and nearly knocking down three researchers like they were bowling pins, he was wheezing and gasping, drained of energy and air. When the first bucket of seawater came down upon his dry gills, he settled briefly, wide, crazed, mismatched eyes flicking from face to face. Likely assessing the situation or counting the amount of bodies, the report claimed.

He fell still after that, and it took two teams of ten people to load him onto the lift so he could be flown to the lab.

After he spent a week in recovery, where he healed surprisingly fast, he was transferred to a much larger and wider tank, its depths far deeper than the average swimming pool. He doesn’t swim to the surface much, and he only ever pokes his head out at night, scanning his surroundings with intelligent, keen eyes. And then he turns and disappears below. It’s a pattern he’s stuck to for weeks now. No one really understands it, and they haven’t had the opportunity to try. He’s uncooperative and unpredictable. It’s much too dangerous to send a diver down there.

So they transfer you to his enclosure, assuming you might have more luck. You’re not sure and you can’t make any promises of potential success, as you’ve only ever interacted with marine mammals. A merman is…different. Not only because he’s half-man and, by that same logic, likely possesses a human brain that is capable of a higher level of thought, albeit one that is wired to suit his mer biology, but because he’s bigger. A lot bigger.

He could kill you.

You saw the documentation. The serrated teeth, the powerful claws, the dangerous jaw, the bulky, muscular build that cuts through water like a bullet. He is a predator in every sense of the word, and you’re supposed to look after him. Coax him to the surface. Get him to trust humans. Interact with him just inches from the edge of his tank and hope that he doesn’t get hungry or violent.

He might kill you.

But there are safety measures put in place for these things. Ethics to be followed and whatnot. It’s a slippery slope because he’s part human and therefore could possibly have the same level of intelligence humans have, in which case it would be wrong to trap him here. There may be ways to skirt around it with other animals, but he’s not like other animals.

For now, he’s kept here under the pretense of recovery and scientific study. The lab treats him like the big fish he is, going so far as to buy a shark suit in your size and instruct you to wear it even though you’re not going to get in the water. “It should prevent him from biting through,” they had said, “but it won’t lessen the force of his bite.”

“What good will that do? I can’t fight him off.” Though you knew it had nothing to do with anything, you added, “I’m an omega. Merfolk might not have the same sub-genders as we do up on the surface—or maybe they do; I don’t know—but if he were human he’d definitely classify as an alpha. Put that into perspective. I can’t. Fight. Him. Off. It’s biologically impossible.”

“So you poke his eyes. Dig your fingers into his gills. He should let go of you then.”

“That’ll hurt him,” you protested, clutching the suit to your chest.

“Not as much as he’ll hurt you.”

You suppose it’s a clinical priority. Survival of the fittest, but it’s the human who has to live. The lab could afford to lose you, but they don't want to. And if they did, they might put the mer down. Shoot him up with enough tranquilizers to keep him comatose. Maybe it only bothered you because, yet again, he’s half-human and no one on the team knows the extent to which he thinks and functions.

To simplify it, they consider him a shark. But like any creature, sharks learn and adapt as they go. Death is instinct.

He will kill you.

But you don’t want to think like that, which is why you put on your best smile and trudge into the enclosure he’s being kept in. The tank looms before you, seawater clear and beamed through with streaks of light from the harsh, glaring LEDs above. The deeper the water gets, the darker the shadows. You press your palm against the glass, observing the murky darkness with a frown. Somewhere in this tank, at a depth you can’t even imagine, is an eel merman. A big, strong, powerful, scary eel merman.

You swallow a steadying breath, curl your fingers into fists, and climb the spiral staircase to get to the attached platform. Your reflection follows you with each step, countenance set in grim confliction. Once you reach the top, you peer out at the surface of the pool, listening to the droning hum of water filters and other hidden machinery. There’s a very shallow part of the tank, a dip in the design that allows for the mer to lounge if he so pleases. You’re reminded of the dolphins in live shows, who slide up onto their stomachs to face an awestruck audience. You doubt that’s what he’ll use this ledge for. If anything, it could allow a researcher to kneel in the shallows while they interact with him at an intimate propinquity.

You don’t plan on being that researcher.

Instead, you pace a healthy distance away from the edge, holding a bucket of his breakfast in one hand and a notebook in the other.

“Um!” You cringe at your voice as it reverberates around you in a nervous echo. Cautiously, you inch towards the water. “I have your food!”

You wait three seconds, expecting him to come bursting up from the darkness like the shark everyone wants to delude themselves into thinking he is. The water remains still and unbroken. You wonder if your voice can even reach such a depth. If not the sound, the vibrations might. Or maybe he’s resting. It’s still relatively early in the morning. Perhaps his sleep schedule is thrown off. Yours would be if you were taken from your home and dumped in a manufactured version of your habitat.

You lurch forwards with the bucket and watch as a collection of shrimp, crab, and small fish soar through the air in a sloppy arc before landing and sinking into the waiting depths below. Nothing happens. The tension in your body ebbs away, and when it becomes clear that he isn’t coming up to greet you and feast on your offering you relax completely, collapsing against the wall with a great sigh.

If they really want to study him, they should just watch him on the security feed, you think, peering up at the camera in one corner of the room, its red eye fixated on you and the surrounding enclosure. He’s not going to come up during the day. Not when there are humans walking around.

Still, you wait your shift out, scribbling nonsense in your notebook and occasionally glancing up to gauge the state of the water.

The mer doesn’t show, so you resolve to try again.

Try you do, and try you have.

It’s been one week of perfunctory routine, arriving and feeding him at the same time in hopes that he might understand what you’re doing and come up to investigate. Or, at the very least, recognize you’re a recurring figure in his chapter of captivity. You don’t intend on befriending him. You only wish to fulfill your duties as a researcher, however skewed they may have become. Even though you know you ought to be grateful the mer hasn’t caused any problems, you want something to happen. Anything! At this rate, you’d sooner tire yourself out playing with rowdy sea lions than sit around in silence while waiting for an appearance from him.

It’s a quiet Tuesday afternoon when the first beat of unrest hits.

The mer’s enclosure is kept at a comfortable temperature for humans; it’s the water that’s freezing below the surface. So when you step up onto the platform and peer into the chum-infested deep, the empty bucket now set aside, you feel warmer than usual. Odd, considering the room is normally so chilly. Not extremely so, but chilly enough to give way to a pleasant cold.

Tugging at the collar of your shark suit, you cover the distance to stand under a large fan situated just near the dip in the pool. Cool air kisses your heated skin, providing you with much-needed relief, and you peer up at the propellers that spin in endless circles. Around and around and around. Your eyes follow the motions until you dizzy yourself, and you step back on wobbly legs. Your foot misses the metal platform and instead slips into the ledge built in the tank. With a startled yelp you fall backwards, landing in the shallows on your rear.

“Of course,” you mumble, bitter with embarrassment. “Leave it to me to fall right into the predator’s tank.”

You scoot further up onto the ledge, staring at the water below. It’s quite calm here, where the shallows lap languidly at your waist. If you were delusional, you might think this was a jacuzzi pool that you could dip your toes in. It’s not. Of course it isn’t. Not when there’s a beast lurking just below. But while you’re here, you run your hands through the saltwater while your own body temperature rises as if it’s a hungry flame in a stone hearth.

You place your hands on either side of the ledge, intending to push yourself up and onto the platform, when something tightens inside of you. Your heart stumbles in your chest and you lose the strength in your arms at once. With a noisy splash, you flop back into the shallows, your compromised body rigid and shaky with a tingling, all-encompassing warmth. Horrified, you raise two fingers to your pulse to feel it stutter wildly beneath your skin.

Swallowing thickly, you lower your head onto your arms and wait for the feeling to pass. The seconds slip by and in that short amount of time your state seems to worsen. Your temperature is volcanic, your every sense restless, and you’re sweating through the shark suit as if you’ve just run a marathon and more.

“Not now,” you hiss, slapping your hands upon your face. “Please not now. Anything but now…”

You intend to haul yourself up and out for good this time, desperate to get as far from the pool before your brain is completely overrun by your encroaching heat and robust omega instincts, when fingers brush against your leg. Something chitters behind you, a low, slow sort of sound that is shot through with curiosity. You turn as if you’re frozen in ice, your heart in your throat and senses on high alert.

The eel mer is right there, clutching your ankle in a firm grip. Not to hurt you, but to keep you there. And you’re not at all in a hurry to leave. Not when those claws are so close to your calf, capable of shredding through to your very bones. Even with the shark suit, you worry. He stares at you with narrowed eyes, his head angled in a cute, childish way. He appears confused and rightfully so, considering you’re a creature he’s likely never interacted with so closely before. You mirror his befuddlement, your brows furrowed, lips creased in a thin line.

For a long while, the two of you watch each other. If you look past his predatory design, he’s quite pretty with his smoky teal coloration and dark stripes. Your gaze pans over to the water, where a long, powerful tail disappears below. The paranoid side of you says he’s going to drown you, but then he doesn’t seem outwardly malicious in his intentions.

“Um…”

He flinches at the sound of your voice, his head snapping up to your throat and then your lips. Your attempt to pull your captive leg back is thwarted when he lurches, rising out of the water to grab hold of your foot. You gasp and shake your head at him, your senses sharp and dull all at once. Your heat-addled mind just barely parses the threat of danger, looming and ever-present.

“Please,” you beg, your tone sticky and breathless. “Don’t…”

The mer tilts his head the other way. The fins where his ears might be if he were human shiver, as if listening to the desperation in your syllables. He chirrups, lips widening in a sharp-toothed smile, and then he’s dragging you towards him. Panic seizes your nerves and you dig your palms into the smooth basin in an effort to get away. His expression falls when he notices your struggle and he lifts himself onto the ledge with you, draping himself over your legs like an oversized rug.

“Wait… H-Hold on; get off!” You grunt and weakly prod at his chest. He doesn’t budge. “You… You’re heavy!”

His webbed hand closes around your waist, steadying you in the shallows, while his other arm cages you beneath him. Instinctively, you arch into his touch, your breath coming in tiny, frenzied huffs. He clicks at you, and words that you can only assume are meant to be gentle and soothing are produced in a sweet melody. It relaxes you more than you’d like to admit, a lyrical balm to your terror.

You squeeze your eyes shut and brace yourself for the worst. For the searing pain and the stinging agony. For the blood that will color the water a dark, foreboding red. For the sight of him merrily tearing into your jugular, his maw spattered with crimson. But none of that ever comes. He cradles your face next, his thumb running along your cheekbone, and slowly you peel your eyes open. His face is inches from yours, looking on with an intensity that’s almost primal.

Warily, you lift your arm out of the water and touch his hand. It’s much bigger in contrast to yours, but he’s handling you with such immaculate tenderness.

“You’re not going to hurt me…” you mutter, amazed. “You’re just curious.”

As if responding, he chitters. You nod even though you have no idea what he said. He doesn’t smell like an alpha or an omega or a beta. You’re not even sure if he’s capable of releasing pheromones, but if he were you’re certain it would have driven you much crazier than you already feel.

You hold his stare and reach up to pat his cheek, and he leans into your careful touch. Your hand soon trails down to trace his lateral lines, which earns you a pleased hum. You watch in awe as the gills on either side of his body flutter.

Led on by your own wonder, you follow the pattern to his waist and press your thumbs into his hip bones beneath smooth, slippery skin. “How fascinating… I wonder if it’s possible to take an X-ray. Would you allow—oh!”

Clumsily, he lifts you into his arms to embrace you, rolling his hips against the chainmail shark suit. Your breath hitches, and you fumble to grasp his broad shoulders.

“Ah, w-wait. I’m not… You can’t…”

He clicks thrice and lowers you into the shallows, his face scrunched in annoyance. You think he might’ve understood you, but then he’s palming between your legs and it occurs to you that he wants the suit off. Carnal delight shivers through you at the prospect of being wanted to such a degree, and though you know it’s the heat muddling your sensibility you can’t help indulging him just a little. You undo the zip at the back and slide it from your body, revealing your shoulders and bare arms for his wandering, mismatched hues. He leans in to nose at your scent glands, chattering happily as he inhales. You can’t understand a word, but he sounds pleased—even more so when he runs his hands along your arms, squeezing and petting in equal measure.

His tongue laves across your neck, and what fragile restraint you have left snaps. You cling to him like he’s your anchor, meeting his searching hips halfway with every awkward thrust that doesn’t quite connect as it should. You chew your lip, tamping down a torrent of filthy moans. Your mind is clouded with lust and instinct, and you dig your fingers into his hair, holding him against your neck while he continues to lick and nip.

It feels right up until the haze parts momentarily, allowing temporary sobriety when you spy the tip of something poking free of its encasing. Dazed and inquisitive, you reach between your bodies to prod at his slit, hoping to coax more of his prehensile cock from out of its folds. But then the door below opens and the mer lifts himself from off of you, his head turning in the direction of the sound at an alarming speed. You blink up at him, lazily following his line of sight. His lip curls up in a silent snarl, the beginnings of razored teeth peeking out, and then he slithers back into the water, his hands lingering on your ankles.

Despite the dizziness you sit up, your arm outstretched. “Wait, don’t go!”

I didn’t get to cum yet. You didn’t even claim me either…

He peers at you, neutral for all of a minute before swimming over to you. He presses his face into your palm, chittering softly. There are footsteps on the stairs, and he grits his teeth, withdrawing completely before turning and diving under in a spray of seawater.

You fall back into the shallows, panting like a starved, feral monster. A researcher comes to your aid, her expression equal parts shocked and disturbed. You don’t catch her questions, each one tacked onto what feels like a ceaseless rant, while she helps you to your feet. Something about danger. About heats. About omega biology. About how the researchers watched the both of you on the cameras, swelling with queries of their own.

“I’m not sure,” you mumble as you’re helped down the stairs, stumbling in a heat-drunken stupor. Thankfully, your fellow researcher is an omega like you and that relaxes the hypersensitive part of you—the part that fears being taken advantage of when you’re vulnerable like this. But the needier, greedier part of you wants the mer—wants his hands and mouth all over you, ripping you free from your suit and indulging in the bare skin beneath. “I think he...wanted to help…”

No one can explain his behavior. But it seems promising.

While you’re led from the room, the eel mer stalks you from the gloomy confines of his tank.

In the days following your heat, you return to the marine lab with your head on your shoulders and are immediately barraged with requests. Amongst all of them, one common demand stands out: You have to get him up to the surface again. Part of you doesn’t want to face the mer again. When you truly mulled over that day, tossed the memory of it around in your mind like it was a tennis ball, you were hit with shame.

It’s not…normal. Researchers do not tangle themselves in sexual situations with their subjects, especially when said subject was an eel mer from the Coral Sea. It’s unheard of. Luckily, the team of researchers you work with swears to secrecy. You were out of it and your judgment wasn’t in the best state. That’s the excuse they’re using. It works enough to push the humiliation from your thoughts.

You wonder if you should feel disgusted by the events. Rather, you didn’t mind it. For all of his rough, scarred, monstrous edges, he was gentle.

You press your fingers to your scent glands, recalling the feel of his tongue.

Today you’ve donned your usual work attire, foregoing the shark suit and any other protective gear the lab expects you to wear. Something tells you you won’t need it anymore. Not after everything that happened the day you went into heat.

Feeling rejuvenated and refreshed after your mini break, you trudge up the staircase with a food bucket, determined to finally fill your notebook with data. You’ve only made it up four steps when color flashes in your peripheral. You turn and find the mer is at your eye level, following you up the spiral staircase adjacent to his tank.

You pause and wave experimentally. He watches your hand move to and fro and then he mirrors your actions. He swims the rest of the distance to the surface, breaching it just as you make it onto the platform.

“Good morning, Mister,” you greet, bending down to empty the contents of the bucket into the water.

Disinterested, he watches bits of shrimp sink deeper. And then he looks back to you, his mouth opening and shutting. “Fu… Fu…” he forces out, his face scrunched in concentration.

“Fu…? Food?”

He nods and then shakes his head, hissing at himself in what you think might be admonishment.

“Fu…ro…”

“Furo?” You set the bucket aside and scoot closer to the edge. “What’s that?”

He tries once more before the syllables fizzle out on his tongue and, with a few frustrated clicks, he swipes a fish from the surface and stuffs it in his mouth. You giggle, and the sound has him tilting his head. Without a shred of apprehension, he meets you at the ledge. You watch him munch on the fish between his lips, content to observe in silence. He polishes it off rather quickly before procuring a handful, which he dumps onto the ground beside you. You shake your head at him, smiling weakly.

“Thanks, but no. It’s all yours.”

The mer shrugs and indulges without you.

“I should thank you for not hurting me back then,” you add. He pays close attention to your lips; you think he might be attempting to read them while listening. “Um… But don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not sure if merfolk are like humans, but we have this system… Or not a system… It’s more like…groupings? Secondary classifications?” You frown. How can you explain the complexities of sub-genders to a mer who doesn’t even speak your language? “Basically, I was in trouble and you helped me out. Kind of. In any case, thank you.”

He stares at you for a while, chewing and swallowing. You think he might swim back under once he’s finished, but instead he places his hands on the ledge and hoists himself up on his arms. He’s in your face next, all eager smiles and chitters.

“Fu… Furo. Furo…ido. Furoido,” he sounds out.

You read his lips in the best way you can before it finally clicks. “Ah! Floyd, right? Is that…your name?”

Floyd points to himself, makes a few upbeat clicks, and then nods. He’s pointing at you next.

“And me? Oh, my name is (Name).” You take your time sounding it out for him, and he repeats it with an awkward tongue. You smile and nod encouragingly. “That’s it. That’s me.”

He flops back into the water with a celebratory trill, a wild smile tugging at his lips. You watch him swim laps from you to the opposite end of the pool and back. Ditching the shark suit was the right call. You’re no longer uncertain. This time, you know for a fact that you’re going to be getting along very well with him.

And you look forward to fostering this flowering friendship.

#meraki mumbles #fluffy floyd hours #n/sfw #tw: abo #tw: omegaverse #he's so cute >w< i love floyb orz #okay now it's back to tmdg!!!#jade is going to kill me for writing about his twin when i should be writing him ;;;;

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en-hazed · 1 month

Text

collect my pages

PAIRING: slenderman!sunghoon x fem!reader

GENRE / CW: this is kinda like scary? reader is alone in the woods so you can def guess what’s going on

WARNING: sunghoon doesn’t have some kind of age, so let’s say he’s like 100 years olds lmao, reader is 19, psychological horror (?) kinda, smut, dub-con, sunghoon is fucking big like in all meanings, tentacles, creampie, kissing, angst (?), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), petnames, praising, begging, dacriphilia, size kink, if i missed something i’ll edit this later. MINORS DNI.

A/N: this is purely based on the game and theories about slenderman (not on the movie), so i’m really sorry if there’s something that doesn’t really match the storyline :( also im not rlly good at writing smut

There was something that you found interesting and endearing about walking alone in the woods as a relief. You weren’t the kind of girl to spend much time with friends since you enjoyed more your alone time, even though you’ve heard some rumors about you in college that you were weird for such thing, but it’s not like you really cared, at all.

You never feared the dark as a little child, your mom did think there was something wrong with it since all of the kids usually are scared of it, but for you, it was different. You find comfort in it –somehow– but it wasn’t something to be ashamed of.

Today was one of those days where school ended a little late, and you decided to take a late walk to the woods that was near to where you lived. The feeling of the cold breeze hitting you felt like a kiss, even wearing your big puffy coat, you still could feel it.

Being by yourself had some advantages, such as spending as much time as you want to exploring the deep parts of the woods, looking at little details and also observing the pretty dark blue color in the sky. You always thought that there was something so beautiful about the woods, you didn’t know if it was the pretty trees, the fallen leaves on the ground or everything about it.

Roaming around, you found some weird looking note that was glued to the tree, as you were getting closer, you got goosebumps. You usually didn’t find things in the woods since no one really came here because it’s been kinda abandoned, so it made you feel really curious if somebody came before you and put things just for fun to scare people off.

But the note was really weird looking. Why did the note say “HELP ME” in such a creepy writing? Was there someone here following you all along pranking you?

You definitely felt followed, but that didn’t change the growing curiosity that you had wondering if there were more notes. Walking faster and careful looking through all the trees weren’t sufficient, you definitely needed some kind of flashlight, and lucky for you, you always carry one in your backpack.

Getting the flashlight, turning it on, you started looking for more information. You definitely thought that you looked kinda crazy running around the woods if somebody came by, but there was something so interesting about this that you just couldn’t let it go.

In the distance, you could see a new note attached to another tree, you rapidly went and took it, this one saying “CAN’T RUN”. Adrenaline was hell, you felt like you could explode, were all these notes some kind of puzzle that you needed to complete? How many of them are? Such thoughts were in your mind as you were trying to calm yourself while looking at the piece of paper with the word that has been written.

Taking both notes, you did not wanna lose them, so you put them both in your pocket, and resumed roaming around. You noticed there was some kind of strange road that led you to an ever bigger part of the woods, and also, to some new pages.

This time, there was some kind of tall, really tall man drawn on with some words, such as saying “NO” and “FOLLOWS”. Is this some kind of prank? You just couldn’t step out, you were kinda lost, you’ve never been this deep inside and now, it was kinda scaring you. Your phone didn’t have any kind of connection or signal around, so you were definitely fucked.

Taking this situation lightly wasn’t a great idea at all, you knew your mom was worried since you don’t last that much time outside that much. Anxiety was killing you at this point, what the hell was going on? Also, it was also getting really late, you took a little peak of you clock, and it was almost past midnight.

Running around was simply not helping, you felt like you were stuck in some fucked up maze that didn’t have any kind of exit. You wanted to scream, you really did, but you didn’t want people thinking that you were getting murdered or something. Starting to feel dizzy, everything was looping, feeling like you couldn’t get out was one of, if not, your biggest fear. Without noticing, you fell to the ground, your strength was gone, and your head was pounding.

More than 10 minutes passed since you were still in the ground, until you felt some kind of presence, the goosebumps coming back again. You were too far gone to even try to open your eyes, so if someone tried to kill right there, you didn’t care at that point.

The breeze was getting colder, creaking was louder, and there was something there with you, but you didn’t dare to look. Some steps were getting closer to you, and you almost started praying to God to help you out if he was even hearing your pleads.

Now you were crying, you were the one that started following all of those stupid notes going nowhere, and now you were stuck in the deep zone of the woods. After some minutes of thinking, you had the guts to speak up.

— Is somebody here? Anyone? Please, I swear I’m a good person, I won’t do anything to you, but please, I need a reply. — You stated, trying to look around in the dark, since you forgot where you put your flashlight and also, you lost your glasses.

Nothing, you did not receive some kind of reply, so now you were thinking if everything that’s happening is some kind of hallucination from your mind.

From the distance, you swear you saw something, like some big thing standing there, but you couldn’t even seem to confirm that since your poor eyesight wasn’t helping you at all. But that weird creature looking thing was getting closer this time, and you didn’t have that much space to move, so you had to act fast and start walking from there.

Looking back wasn’t something that you wanted to do, if you did that it was gonna be really scary knowing something was chasing you in the dark. But what you didn’t know, that tall white man could teleport if he wanted to, and now, he was right in front of you.

You froze, what was that? You starting looking up and down trying to figure out if it was human or not. He was wearing some kind of suit, his hands were so pale and white, his fingers were so long and his face, you couldn’t really recognize it. He did have some prominent facial features, such as his nose and eyebrows, and also his hair.

— Are you lost, little thing? Have you collected my pages? — He finally spoke, his voice was… something. Not really deep nor sharp, it was just unexplainable.

— I’m sorry, what? — You asked, pages? Why is that his first thought?

— My pages. They’re all attached to different trees. Have you collected them? — He added, getting a little more closer to you.

Oh, so the notes you were looking for, that now you know they aren’t pages, he was the one who attached them to the trees? Is he crazy or something?

— I lost them. I got lost here and when I ran, they kinda flew away from my pockets. I’m sorry, if you’re gonna kill me, go ahead. — You hung down your head, you were definitely cooked and also getting killed in the woods. How nice!

— Game over then. — He spoke lastly, you looked at him with now, more tears in your eyes. He gave you a smile, his fangs were now shown.

His cold hand went to your chin, making you look up to where his eyes were supposed to be, but you were looking at some faceless man. You got caught in his tentacles, putting you in the air and almost choking you by how tight he was taking you.

— Pl.. please don’t do a-anything.. I swear, I’ll do whatever you w..want! — You tried speaking, but your chest felt so heavy that it was almost impossible to.

— Well, actually I do want something from you, if you don’t wanna get killed. — He spoke, his voice was now kinda deeper than before and it was scarier. You could feel his gaze up and down around your body, as if it was scanning you.

— W-what is it? Please! Tell me! — You replied rapidly, gulping. You were in a situation that defined between you being alive or dead, so you were willing to do anything at this point.

You were feeling already anxious until you felt his could touch in your body, closing hard your eyes, you were psyching yourself up that everything that was happening it was all in your imagination. Tears were staining your face, your cheeks turning red and your makeup all messed up.

His cold tentacles were groping you, touching you everywhere while you were just crying. You couldn’t get out of his grip since he was way too strong and taller than you. He started undressing you, retiring your skirt and leaving your tights on. Was this some kind of kink he had?

— I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, looking like a scaredy cat, crying and without any kind of escape from me. — He said, smiling proudly, giggling. His big hands were taking your head, making you look at him. Somehow, he changed your position, using his tentacles to tie your feet, and also your hands together, that were now resting behind your back.

You felt how something cold was poking your now dampened panties, you were definitely scared but your body wasn’t feeling like that. You closed your eyes harshly, not wanting to see what was about to happen. The cold breeze was now feeling like if death was coming near you, not feeling like something safe.

With no further preparation, he pushed himself inside of you, feeling like your guts and tight cunt were being rearranged by his big member. You couldn’t stop yourself from whining and screaming out loud, you weren’t a virgin sure, but his cock felt like dying.

— Don’t be t-too harsh! P-please! — Trying to speak while he was pounding deeper and deeper inside you was tough and more like a challenge.

He tsked his long tongue in response, not really caring about you and going harder on you. One of his tentacles groping your boobs mercilessly, while the other ones were simply roaming around your body.

Changing your position, now in doggy style, he was going harshly and harder, your body was hurting and your were being treated like nothing but a sex doll. You felt your vision going blurry, your hearing going off and feeling extremely numb. You closed your eyes and that’s where you forgot about everything.

Waking up felt like a nightmare, your whole body felt sore, you were covered in cum and definitely felt how the hot liquid was slipping from your thighs. Trying to look for your glasses or any kind of clothing (since you were naked) looking around. That’s when you saw some random guy, weirdly dressed with a suit and also using some glasses, he was tall and pale.

— Are you okay? Do you need help? — That anonymous guy spoke, looking at you and then your whole body, smirking.

You couldn’t even speak at all, so you just nodded. He helped you get up, he somehow carried things in his pockets such as tissues, that he used on you, trying to get you clean.

Finishing by putting on your clothes, you patted all of your body, as if there were some kind of dirt (there was, everything was all covered in it). You looked again at that weird guy that happened to find you in such condition, what was he doing here?

— I’m Sunghoon, and I definitely can read your mind, I just happened to be here when I found you here all alone, covered in… Whatever that was, no need to thank me. — He finished saying, still smirking and looking at you as if he was scanning your whole body.

As a blink, he disappeared, nowhere to be found. There was some weird vibe coming from that guy that you couldn’t explain, but you felt like you already knew him.

What the fuck just happened to you? You for sure were having some kind of fucking overdose of some fucked up vivid dream, you will never be the same after this.

#enhypen smut #sunghoon hard thoughts #sunghoon smut #smut #enhypen hard thoughts #x reader

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coulsart · 3 months

Text

About the Unknown

I have a theory. A game theory. And we're going to ignore the fact that delving into this would put me on the Unknown's shit list IMMEDIATELY. It’s fine.

Disclaimer: I do not know what’s canon, and they kept it intentionally vague. Everyone’s valid to have their head canons and this is just the explanation my brain conjured up.

"The Unknown was believed to be a mysterious evil so heinous that investigating it almost immediately invited death. At least that was how the story went. And there were many stories. One story was of a woman in Greenville who disappeared without a trace on stage in front of a room full of witnesses. Her friend disappeared weeks later while trying to investigate what happened. The police were stumped. They had no clues or leads, and that mystery created the perfect storm for amplifying and spreading an urban legend." An excerpt from the very beginning of the official lore page

I want to focus on a few key words here. It was believed to be heinously evil. There were stories about disappearances. Said mysterious stories spread and amplified the urban legend.

The Unknown gains power from people's beliefs and thoughts about it. Not too unlike Pennywise from 'IT'. But there's a catch.

People theorize that it might be an alien, a curse, a cult-created abomination, or just a really elusive serial killer... but it is all of those things. Because people believe that it is.

It doesn't have control over what it is. It's a horrible hodge-podge monstrosity of many things, seemingly mashed and twisted together violently. It likely started as something completely different, or nothing at all. Maybe a vague presence that only observed. But people could feel the presence. And while neither good nor evil, the peoples' minds conjured up visions, explanations of what it might be. Some imagined it to be a man lurking in the shadows. Watching and stalking them. And so the Unknown's body began to form. First as a man. Even still, with this new body, it was inherently off. Uncanny from the start. The Unknown was at its core so far removed from humanity that it still could not pass as one of us. So it would linger in the forest, only venturing to the threshold between town and woods.

Maybe an unfortunate camper happened upon it at night. This shadow in the dark, distinctly the shape of a man. But what does one think first, encountering a strange man in the dead of night? All alone and isolated in the deep woods?

"He's going to kill me with a knife, or an ax!"

And so it did. Because they believed it would.

It only snowballed from there, after the body was found, only a few paces away from their untouched tent. There was no evidence left. No DNA, no footprints to follow. Just a bloodied body, with a skull cloven almost completely in twain; by what was suspected to be an ax. So the theories began.

No one could explain the lack of evidence left behind. It was too perfect, too efficient. And what were the chances of a normal man doing such damage in only a single swing?

More murders followed. At first, people started disappearing, their bodies later being found in the woods, not far from the first victim. They grew increasingly more mangled, to the point that authorities began to question whether it was done by a man, or an animal.

The people became afraid. Paranoid that this insane ax murderer would tire of the woods and enter their homes at night, while they were resting peacefully in bed. The fears were beginning to surpass that of just a serial killer. The Unknown was beginning to become more of a boogeyman figure to them. No human man could have committed such gruesome killings.

People began to disappear from their homes at night. Then the streets. Then the cafe and theater. Then... sometimes in broad daylight. Its territory only grew. Its abilities more and more vast and unpredictable. The theories only escalated... and throughout its rampage, the Unknown grew increasingly monstrous. Its humanoid body twisted and contorted to fit the peoples' beliefs. But nothing was erased - only added on. Which is why it existed in the horrific state that it did.

A body can only fit so much substance inside without tearing itself apart. Without becoming an deformed, unstable, and agonizing vessel to pilot and exist in.

Human beings did this to it. Human beings made what it was. They assumed the worst of it, and it became that.

So naturally, it became hateful and bitter. It loathes humans. They did this. It lives in constant agony and isolation because of them... only for the crime of observing and existing in their vicinity. That's why it killed the ones who dive deeper into its existence and theorize about what it is. They kept making it worse. Inflicting more pain upon it and twisting its body further and further.

It mirrors humans' own words to them. Snippets of conversation, pleas for help. It does not truly have its own voice. It only has what others have spoken about it, and around it.

But its feelings towards human beings are clear, based on its words. Especially in its memento mori. "The terror. The horror. Terribly frightening, isn't it." The way it parrots their words in this case almost seems vindictive and sarcastic. These are all things that human beings have said about it.

Thought outside of what it's been made into became increasingly difficult. Yet, somehow, the Unknown is vaguely aware of this fact: it could have been spared this horrific existence, had human beings chosen differently.

And for the Unknown, it only got worse when the Entity stole it away. It begged and pleaded for help - ironically, seeking it from that which it loathed most. A human being. It was torn from our world and plunged into the never ending loop that are Her trials. All for the sake of feeding Her appetite for suffering and torment. And it isn't only at the survivors' expense. It is at the expense of the Unknown as well. It suffers just as much as they... if not more. They at least have companions to rely on - with varying results, of course. It has nobody.

All hope for it healing is lost. The survivors have no reason not to think it a ruthless, horrific monster. And in turn, it has no reason not to hate and slaughter them.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#couls art #theory #dbd #dead by daylight #the unknown #the unknown dbd #body horror #horror #gore #death mention #death #tw #long post #TRAGIC MONSTER IS MY SAUCE OK #IM REALLY PROUD OF THIS #also the pics are glazed and nightshaded so i hope they dont look too weird #itd be kewl if the devs saw this

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edddimun · 2 years

Text

Fool The Freaks Day

(not my gif)

Eddie Munson x fem! reader

Summary: Your crush on Eddie was meant to be a secret, but after a little special someone overheard, a sudden secret admirer was up your sleeve. Getting lost in the mystery, you didn’t realise what date was coming up— April Fools.

Trope: Eddie Munson x fem! Reader, frenemies!

Warnings: Swearing, bullying, angst (but there’s fluff), pet-names

WC: 8.5k+

A/N: this is the longest one-shot I’ve written lol but I had this idea in mind for a while! And I think this actually might be my favourite work so far! :) I also apologise if there are any mistakes I have missed!

The corridor overflowed with the annoying babble of kids. Some exchanged smiles and laughter, while others exchanged frowns and glares. You, on the other hand, were lost in your own world, observing Eddie lean against his locker, arms crossed in front of his chest, and his hair falling in front of his face every now and then while talking to Gareth.

“Earth to Y/N,” Dustin flailed his arms in front of your face, retreating you from your trance. Clearing your throat, your eyes averted to Dustin who is clearly irritated.

“Did you even listen to what I said?” A huff of annoyance escaped his lips.

“Yeah. Yeah. Something on Friday?” You repeated, well knowing that you pieced together random words that you vaguely remembered from Dustin’s rambling.

He tightly shut his eyes, face-palming himself as he groaned, “Oh my gos- April Fools next Friday.”

“Didn’t you say this week?”

“No!-“ Dustin loudly shrieked, a little too loudly, “What I was saying while you were making out with Eddie with your eyes, was-“

You harshly slapped your palm against Dustin’s mouth, eyes widened as you quickly snapped your head in every direction possible hoping no one caught on to what Dustin said. No one but Dustin knew about your secret crush on Eddie. The term ‘frenemies’ is what Steve and Robin like to describe your relationship with him, always bickering but in a playful way. Max, Mike and Lucas are just convinced you both absolutely hate each other whilst Nancy and had a theory that deep down you both liked each other but denied it.

“Keep it down knucklehead!” You seethed through gritted teeth, eyes still frantically searching the hallways. From your perspective, no one seemed interested or alerted. The stiffness in your shoulders finally became undone, sighing with relief, you glared daggers into Dustin’s eyes before feeling a wet sensation tickle your palm.

“What is wrong with you?!” You hissed towards the boy.

Sinister giggles left his throat as he watched you rigorously grind your hand against your top, creating heat between the two surfaces.

“I just don’t get why you won’t talk to him ‘normally’,” Dustin quietly asked after his fit. His voice was laced with genuine seriousness, now rapidly changing your displeased mood.

Your lips tightened, glancing between the ground and Dustin, “W-wouldn’t it just be weird?” You asked, looking at him with soft eyes, “I feel like this is our ‘normal’ to talk the way we do. Just argue and make sarcastic comments. Nothing is ever nice or genuine. It’s not like I want it to be that way, I would love to change that— b-but I just don’t know how without looking like an idiot.”

Dustin nodded at your reasonable answer before finally responding, “Maybe you can take it slow.”

“Slow?”

“Yeah. Like smiling for once at him, or not making comments as mean or as sarcastic. Then after a few days, you can actually laugh or even agree at his remarks,” Dustin informed with a smile slowly forming on his face, “T-then your jokes will slowly turn into compliments or even flirty comments, and then you both will start talking nicely, then yo-“

“Okay, okay,” You chuckled out, interrupting Dustin’s ramble with a slight tint of pink painted on your cheeks, “You know—you’ve never let me down Dustin,” you empathised as your hand rested on his shoulder, slightly shaking him.

“What can I say, I’m a man of honour,” His wide smile reached his eyes as he showed off his pearly teeth.

“No!” A loud shriek bounced through the hallway, gaining the glares of Jason and Patrick.

“Freaks,” Jason mumbled under his breath, “Anyways, I can’t tonight, Chrissy and I-“

“What I was saying while you were making out with Eddie with your eyes, was-“

Jason’s head whipped towards your direction after the mention of Eddie. Your hand was now masked on Dustin’s mouth as you aggressively mumbled something to the boy.

“Did you hear that?” Patrick snickered to Jason, nudging his shoulder, “The freak likes the freak,” Patrick continued.

The left side of Jason’s lip tugged upwards, a vicious warmth started to warp his mind as his eyes slowly bottled with vengeance.

“You remember the date next Friday?” Jason eerily whispered.

“U-uh,” Patrick stuttered, not recalling anything important on that day, “Not re-“

“April fools,” He cuts him off, finally looking at him in the eyes with a cold-blooded smirk on his face, emitting his bitter intentions.

“It’s fool the freaks day.”

If one person who can ever frustrate you as much as Eddie could, it’s Robin.

“For the millionth time Robin! Cherry and Raspberry don’t taste the same!” You exclaimed whilst aggressively twisting the knob of your locker.

“Um. Yes, they do! I don’t get how you don-” This time you weren’t the one to cut her off. As soon as you opened your locker, a folded white piece of paper fell to the ground. Your brows dipped in confusion, looking at Robin and the mysterious paper.

“W-what’s that?” She hesitantly asked. You bent down to grasp the paper, flipping it over and back, as you started to unfold it.

“Hey,

I know this is really weird, but I hope we can get along some time. I always see you in the hallway talking to our friends and I hope one day that’s going to be us.”

“What. The. Fuck.”

A gasp was heard from Robin as her eyes read the note for the tenth time, “Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh!” She repeatedly jumped in the air, “You have a secret admirer!” She squealed out loud.

“N-no. This can’t be for me. Whoever this is probably put it in the wrong locker.” Your eyes traced over the crooked handwriting in black ink, trying to recognise it but couldn’t. Your mind started to ponder whether someone has been showing you more attention or not. But you rarely spoke to anyone other than your main group of friends. Could it be Alex from that math assignment? No. He has a girlfriend. Tristan from music? No. What if it was a girl? Victori-

“Y/N!” A voice abruptly spoke over your thoughts, causing your elbow to violently slam against the metal locker.

“Jesus Dustin!” You loudly hissed as you rubbed your elbow, in hopes the pain will disperse quickly.

Dustin and Robin cackled loudly at your unamused state. That was until his gaze fell on the paper in your clutch, his laughter quickly died down as curiosity took over.

“What’s that?” he questioned, eyes still on the paper.

“N-nothing.” You squeezed the forbidden treasure against your chest, your fingers starting to ache from the tight grasp.

Dustin took a step towards you, a menacing smirk on his face as you took a step back.

“Robin, what’s that?” Dustin looked at Robin with one brow raised.

Robin gives you a do-you-want-me-to-tell-him look. In response, you violently shake your head as you continued to take steps back as Dustin started to retreat closer to you.

“Dustin you better sto-” Your back met something firm and warm, someone's hands now placed on your forearms, keeping you stable.

“I’m so sor-” turning around to apologise, “-ry. Oh.” Your glance flit over the one recognisable outfit before seeing Eddie's devious face.

“Maybe I’m not,” you give him a tight smile, his puckered brow and long face remained silent. You watched his eyes scan your entire body and lock with the holy grail squished against your chest.

“What are you hiding there?”

“Something that is not your business.”

Dustin and Robin step right beside Eddie, “Why are you so nervous?” Eddie teased.

“I’m not nervous. I-It’s just that-I-Um-It’s-”

Eddie chuckled at your flushed expression, “Cat got your tongue?”

“Shut up,” you angrily growled.

He pursed his lips, tucking his hands into his back pockets before his doll eyes focused on yours, “I can’t take a little peak?”

“You’re not special, so no.”

Eddie aggressively slammed his back against the locker as both his hands laid on top of his heart, startling you and the others.

“What if you’re special to me, sweetheart?” He playfully breathed out in offence.

Although you knew he was joking, you felt your heart pulsating. Instead of a ‘fuck off’ or a gag, you decided to change it up a bit.

“Then I’m glad.” A smug smile appeared on your face as you crossed your arms, the note still in your grasp— completely forgetting about it.

Robin’s nose scrunched in utter confusion, wondering whether you were sarcastic or not, whilst a small grin crept up on Dustin’s face as he knew which way you meant it. On the other hand, the tiny mischievous smirk on Eddie’s face did not budge at all, instead, he clicked his tongue and chewed on his bottom lip as he leaned one side of his body against the locker and his arms crossed in front, intently staring into your eyes.

You must admit though. He did look really, really hot right now, and he was standing pretty close to you. Although it was difficult to maintain intimidating eye contact with Eddie, you both still mirrored that same conceited smirk on your lips.

Eddie grunted before quietly muttering “Good.”

Now Dustin is confused if Eddie was being sarcastic or not, you were left slightly dumbfounded not knowing what to say. Eddie then reached his arms out to grab Dustin’s shoulders, not breaking the eye contact at all. You felt blood rushing to your ears, but were glad your hair was covering your tomato ears. Eddie then turned Dustin around before his back faced you and walked away. Your eyes followed their figures disappear into the hallway before averting your gaze back to Robin, whose eyes were bulging out of her sockets.

“What was that?” She blurted.

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you started to play pretend, “What was what?”

“Y-You and Eddie!”

“Literally nothing.”

“No. That was literally something!” She shrieked as her hands grasped your shoulders, “What if it’s him?”

This time you were genuinely perplexed, clueless to what she’s implying, “If he’s what now?”

She brought you closer to her face, “The secret admirer,” Robin whispered.

The warmth of anxiousness seeped into your heart, muting the chatter of the hallway as your consciousness escaped the world, only surrounding you in feelings of doubt and bewilderment.

“It can’t be, Rob,” You reluctantly uttered.

“And why not? You guys actually had a ‘decent’ conversation, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it was him,” She shrugged as she popped her lips.

“I doubt. I was the one that actually responded ‘decently’,” You replied, pointing to yourself.

Robin remarked with a depressing sigh, “But he did too. And plus on the note, it did say ‘our’ friends so?”

“Look Rob, it was probably in the wrong locker okay?” You beckoned with a faint smile.

You walked into Ms O’Donnell’s class, already spotting Jason and Patrick in the back laughing about something. Their laughter came to a halt as they spotted you. You didn’t really think much of it until you saw a pretty pink peony, saturated with hints of white sitting on your desk.

“For fuck’s sake,” you quietly whispered to yourself, mentally groaning in frustration. This couldn’t be a mistake. You sat in your chair and made an effort to come up with potential culprits. If they know your seat in this class, they either attend this class themselves or have friends who do. You scoured the classroom for anyone behaving suspiciously. Amanda scribbled, Lexi gossiped, and Jason and Patrick were quiet while the rest of the students went about their business. The only thing you were aware of about your hidden admirer was that they were friends with your friends.

“Mr Munson, you’re late.”

Eddie's footsteps filled the now-quiet classroom with sound. You glance up, sceptical, and see Eddie making his way to his seat, directly behind you. He offers a half-arsed apology before staring right into your eyes then at the flower, brows raised in obvious perplexity at the flower. You felt this overwhelming tension submerging your figure as your eyes met, you subconsciously groaned, not only because Eddie was suspected of being the secret admirer, but also because of the recent conversation.

Ms O'Donnell's speech was drowned out by your overanalysing thoughts that couldn't seem to let go of this current predicament. It was the way you didn't realise you were so far into your consciousness that you began seeing doubles of everything. You were highly concerned that you had made things awkward between yourself and Eddie, and what also heightened your concern was the note, and now the flower. Dozing off into wonderland, you came to a conclusion that Eddie is not the sort to do corny crap. You were aware that he would just convey his feelings without seeking an alternate means of doing so.

“A flower?”

You jolted from the booming voice in your ear. Clutching your chest, you turned around to face Eddie.

“Is this a thing within the club? Just scaring people out of nowhere?” You irritably scoffed.

Eddie lowly chuckled, “I think we already scare people without meaning to do so.”

You rolled your eyes before turning back around to face the board. A pint of relaxation encompassed your aura, immensely glad there wasn’t awkward tension between you two, though barely was said amongst you both. You were just overthinking things, like usual.

“You’re pretty.”

Your knee harshly struck the desk, you spun your body around as you choked on your spit.

“W-what?” You stammered, eyes as large as an owl.

Eddie was noticeably alarmed by your jarring action as he leaned back. His brows furrowed as he notices your strained demeanour.

“The flower. It’s pretty,” He slowly spoke out a few seconds later in confusion.

“O-Oh. Ye-”

“Y/N! Focus,” O’Donnell’s voice intervened. You mutter an apology, turning back around and sinking in your seat as the legs of embarrassment crawl up your crumbling figure. Mentally slapping yourself, as the intrusive thoughts were the ones to blame.

It’s me again.

Did you like the rose yesterday? It’s pretty and reminded me of you.

Ew. This person is cheesy and clearly doesn’t know the difference between flowers. It was a peony, not a rose, dumbass. However, the word 'pretty' stood out to you a lot, ever since class yesterday.

You relive the situation in your memory and instantly try to conjure up images of sunshine and rainbows to conceal and bury the humiliating moment you hoped Eddie had forgotten. Wait. Eddie described the flower as pretty too.

“Fuck,” You quietly muttered to yourself. All the foul words imaginable in your thesaurus were spewed out in your thoughts. That’s just how ALL guys describe flowers right?

“Right.” You reassured yourself and your mentality, knowing that wasn’t going to last long.

The graceful sound of Freddie Mercury’s voice suffocated the dissonant babbling of the students in the hallway. As you stride past them on your way to math, your eyes were quick to decipher the Hellfire club amongst the crowd. Dustin’s thinking cap bounced every time he spoke with passion about something whilst Mike matched Dustin’s energy and Eddie and the rest looked unamused by the situation he was in. Mike spotted you as you walked past them. You hear his voice faintly call your name behind the music dancing in your ears. Heavily sighing, you pause your walkman and take your headphones off.

“Yes?”

You were friends with all the members of the club, you’ve talked to Gareth and Jeff before so there was no awkward tension. You glanced at Eddie who was already looking at you. Quickly looking back at Mike, you stood between Eddie and Gareth as you faced the younger ones.

“Can you convince Eddie to come with us tomorrow to StarCourt?” Mike eagerly asked, wanting you to make snide remarks about his miserable life so he could come— which you didn’t catch on to. Though tomorrow Steve made plans with the group to eat at his favourite place at the mall.

You frowned, looking at Eddie, “Wait, you’re not coming?” You questioned, resulting in Mike’s face to twist in puzzlement.

“Nope,” He responded, popping the ‘p’.

“And why is that?”

Eddie tilted his head as he looked at you with a suspicious smirk, ”Do you want me to come, sweetheart?”

The realisation washed over you as you finally noticed that you were acting too nice, you quickly sighed to reclaim yourself, “No. But I do think it’s a good idea to eat some real food— not saying you have to come with us though, but instead of that artificial shit that you’ve been eating out of a can and that’s been sitting in your cupboard for god knows how long,” you quickly breathe out before continuing, “I do wonder how your stomach endures that shit on a daily basis— plus Harrington’s got the bill anyways.”

You concluded it on a positive note to avoid coming across as too nasty and to give him additional incentive to attend. Which you really but secretly wanted. Pursing your lips, he remained silent as his eyes now wandered the floor.

“Okay. Fine. I’ll come.”

“Wait, really?” Mike croaked with hope in his voice as a smile started to creep up on his face.

“Did you not hear how much Y/N wants me to go?” Eddie playfully chuckled out, looking at your now-dumbfounded face.

“I-I do not,” You quickly remarked, a wave of embarrassment visibly sprouting through your pink cheeks.

“Mhm. Totally,” He snorted, noticing the change in your demeanour. He then leaned his back against the locker, looking down at your furious expression. You huffed fiercely, your eyes wide with awkwardness, you rolled your eyes and walked away to class, flipping him off.

“You are so into her,” Dustin sarcastically commented as you walked away, watching your figure blend into the crowd.

“Is that a bad thing?” Eddie revealed.

They let out a chorus of gasps as they look at Eddie with the most baffled yet astonished manner, which likely caused their souls to depart their bodies. All eyes are on him like red lasers, yearning for answers.

“What?!” Mike loudly exclaimed as his hands ruffle through his hair in disbelief.

Eddie casually shrugged his shoulders, enjoying the appalled sight of the boys. Even though it appeared that he didn't care to reveal his feelings, he realised that he had to do so before it eventually devoured him. The group fell into a deafening stillness as the unexpected confession left them all stunned. Eddie silently laughed to himself.

“Oh yeah— Wheeler, for the sake of your sister’s ego, her theory stands correct,” Eddie proclaimed before walking away, still laughing as he watched their jaws hit the floor once more.

Hey,

I heard you did really well in Ms O’Donnell’s class. She was really happy that you got the top mark on the essay. I’m really proud of you <3

“Whoa, they left a heart?” Robin squealed as she nudged your arm.

“Yeah, I guess. But that means that this person is probably with me in O’Donnell’s,” you sighed, “I mean, who in my class would go tell their friends that I did well? I’m not popular at all.”

“Well, that gives us a better chance of finding out who it is though.”

You finally shut your locker and face Robin, “But don’t the notes seem so awkward? like they don’t know what to say? If you were to like someone, wouldn’t you have a lot of things to say to them?”

After just three days, you were sick of the whole ‘secret admirer’ nonsense. It had been distracting you far too much recently, and you had more exams coming up soon. Although you were flattered by these letters, you realised that without any indications to whoever this was soon, it would leave you in chaos.

“But not everyone’s the same Y/N.” Robin lifted her brows as she playfully poked your arm.

You all strolled through StarCourt as you followed Steve. What was expected to be a five-minute walk from the car to the restaurant was about to become a thirty-minute walk as the sensory overload of innovative ads and shop decorations captured almost everyone’s utmost attention.

“This is so cute,” Robin bubbled as she picked up a bright sunflower, tucking it behind her ear before posing.

Halting in front of the florist, the strong fruity yet spicy smell invaded your nostrils as you all admired the abundant selection of vibrant bouquets. Your eyes were overwhelmed by the dazzling and never-ending colour combinations that invaded your field of vision.

“I want to give this one to Suzy.” Dustin gently picked out a rich salmon-pink flower, twisting it between his fingers to observe the white hue that inked through the petals.

You stood next to Dustin, “It’s beautiful,” you trailed, admiring the fine details.

“That rose is going to die by the time you give it to her,” Eddie commented, pointing at Dustin with a lavender tulip between his fingertips.

Dustin snorted, “I could always dry and preserve them,” he stated in an obvious tone, “And it’s a peony, not a rose.”

Your mouth moved upwards, about to giggle. It’s a peony, not a rose. Your smile quickly plunged as a quiet gasp fled from your lips. It can’t be. You casted a glance between Eddie and Dustin, who seem oblivious to your reaction.

Eddie rolled his eyes with a smile, “Same thing, different name.”

“See? Isn’t this the best pizza you’ve ever had in your life?” Steve proudly declared with food in his mouth.

Everyone hummed in response as they all stuffed the pizza right into their mouths, savouring every moment and bite.

“How did you even find this place?” Mike asked as he grabbed another slice of pepperoni.

Steve leaned back into his chair, “This hot chick took me here once.”

“And what happened to her?” Lucas curiously questioned.

Steve popped his lips before he propped his elbows on the table, “Let's not talk about it,” He concluded, pursing his lips.

The group continued to break out into smaller conversations amongst themselves. However, you were left daydreaming on your own after that florist incident, leaving you in pure shock and disbelief. It couldn’t be more obvious and it’s only been three days, which meant that he purely sucked at this. You obviously weren’t going to tell him you found out, but you decided to see how far he would take this scheme.

“Y/N?” Dustin softly elbowed you.

You hummed back, facing to your left as you sat between Dustin and Robin with Eddie in front of you.

“You okay?” He quietly whispered, his eyes filled with concern.

Quietly nodding your head, you excused yourself to the bathroom in hopes of clearing your mind. It was stressing you out because you just found out that your crush is your secret admirer and that you couldn’t tell anyone. You knew you could tell Robin but you didn’t want her to go tell Steve and then Nancy then eventually the whole group. After a few minutes to yourself in the bathroom, you headed back out. Robin was in a deep conversation with Nancy, leaving you with the boys to talk to.

“You’re right Y/N, this is way better than that canned shit,” Eddie teased as he patted his stomach.

A tight-lipped smile crept up, “Ha. Yeah,” You dryly responded, still feeling awkward about the situation. Eddie noticed the odd behaviour. Your eyes were hyper-fixated on the table as you slowly nibbled on the pizza. He quickly glanced at the others, noticing them lost in conversations.

“U-Um do you want to come with me to grab something in the van?” He softly asked.

You looked around at the other boys and saw them chatting amongst themselves; you swallowed your dread and tentatively nodded your head.

“So what did you need in the van?” You awkwardly queried, breaking the silence as you both walked in the cold breeze.

“Nothing.”

You shot him a quizzical look, “What? I thou-”

“I just noticed that you seemed off and wanted to ask if you were okay.”

Your brows unknitted, feeling heat rising in your body loosening your joints. As adrenaline pumped through your figure, the swelling of your heart restrained the volume of your breaths. Eddie stopped in his tracks as you reached the van, his big brown eyes staring at you with genuine concern.

“U-um. I’m fine. It’s just that there’s a lot going on y-you know in life,” You managed to stutter out.

He nodded his head in response, trying to hide the fluttery feeling in his stomach, “Well if you need anything or even someone to talk to, I-I’m here,” Eddie empathised as he scratched the back of his neck, gazing his eyes elsewhere.

“Thank you Eddie.” You bit your lip to hide your developing smile.

His mouth stammered open for a few seconds, “Y-Yeah. No problem,” He clicked his tongue trying to cover up his sudden nervousness. You both stood in heavy silence, scared that he could hear your heart pounding in your ears.

“I-I really mean it though,” Eddie interrupted, “Like I know we argue a lot, but we don’t always have to. And plus, I feel like recently we’ve been— better? If that’s a good way to say it. We just haven’t been up each other’s asses lately in a way. I don’t know if it’s just me or somethi-”

“Eds— I’ve noticed it too okay?” You politely cut his rambling as you giggled at his flushed expression.

“You have?”

You pursed your lips as you nod, “Yeah. It feels better this way— though I miss teasing you.”

He let out a low snicker, “Oh really?” A sneaky smirk erupted, “We could always go back to arguing with each other.”

You slightly pushed him, releasing a series of chuckles, “No thanks, I’ve plucked out enough grey hairs already.”

As the week passed by and almost the next, more letters began to pile up, and more meaningful encounters with Eddie continued. However, it was still only Robin that was aware of this secret admirer you had under your sleeve, but she had no idea you found out who it was. It was only a question of continuously suppressing the fact that you hadn't figured it out yet.

Since the little occurrence at StarCourt last week, it has become apparent that Eddie is the secret admirer— though he hasn’t admitted it yet— which is also a reason why more heartfelt conversations occurred with him because you insisted on them.

The group had noticed that there was almost no squabbling between you both, and that genuine exchanges were being passed as you both began to get to know one other even more. Mike was aware that Eddie had feelings for you, but Dustin knew that you both returned those sentiments, while the rest of the gang had their theories.

Despite the fact that neither of you acknowledged the reality of you both no longer bickering with each other, you were both thrilled that the phase is over. Though you or Eddie would make snarky remarks here and there, you both joked it off, and sometimes there would even be flirtatious ones, which would leave you in a bright red mess.

4pm. Today. After school.

Meet me in the gymnasium. Be on time.

Your heart started to pound as hard as it possibly could. Is he finally revealing himself? Did he plan something for me? Is the group part of the plan?

Your eyes tightly clenched in pure excitement and worry, not knowing what to expect. The last few days have been incredible. Though the hints and clues were a little messed up, you still figured it out.

Robin skipped school today, leaving you alone with Nancy and Steve, but you didn't mind. That also meant that there'd be no one to bother you at your locker as you waited for another note.

But tonight, everyone was coming over to your place after school for a sleepover. You’ve already set up the living room, movies, beverages, and snacks before you slept last night. It had been a while since a group sleepover so everyone was excited about it.

Whilst you were absorbed in your own tranquilly, you noticed Dustin at the end of the corridor with a panicked expression on his face, his attention eventually fell onto you as he ran towards you in haste.

“You need to come now!” Dustin urgently exclaimed as he forcefully pulled you. Everyone's attention was drawn to you and Dustin as his troubled eagerness rang down the hallway.

Eventually, he dragged you into the room where D&D sessions are held. Instead of bright spotlights painting the ancient, wooden floors in neon colours, you were welcomed with darkness and a warm-toned light barely illuminating the space. It was so dark you stumbled on the leg of the chair right in front of you.

“What is it Dustin?” Your frantic voice reverberated against the cold walls of the room as your figures were engulfed in utter darkness. You watch as his petrified gaze turn sinister.

Your brows slowly furrowed, “Dustin? Wha-”

A loud horn erupted right into your ear, causing you to scream at the top of your lungs. In an instant, you covered your ears and crouched down into a ball. The horn ceased booming, and your screams were drowned out by laughter and knee slaps. Standing up and uncovering your ears, you turn around and find Eddie, Mike, Lucas, and Dustin roaring with laughter. Eddie was loudly slapping his knee in enjoyment, as he witnessed your spirit depart from your body. You huffed and rolled your eyes, clamping your jaw in pure anguish.

Eddie slowly walked over to you with a blow horn in one hand, still laughing before he slung his arm over your shoulder and whispered in your ear, “April fools, sweetheart.”

You lightly shoved him and tried to conceal the frown erupting into a smile, however you couldn’t help it as the boys' happiness encircling you made your heart ease, even if they designated you as their victim. You’re lucky that the darkness masked the pink mess on your face, you hid your face behind your hands as Eddie brought you in an embrace.

“I never knew you could scream like that,” Lucas giggled out.

You playfully punched Lucas’ bicep, “To be honest I never knew I could too. You boys just have something in you.”

“So you’re telling me I could make you scream like that?” Eddie insisted with a mischievous tone.

Escaping from his embrace, the boys immediately covered their ears, loudly whining in discontent, shouting words along the lines of ‘Gross’, ‘Yuck’, and gags over the top of each other.

You scrunched your nose in disbelief, “Ew Eds. You’re disgusting.”

Today felt like the longest day ever. You swore the clock was ticking slower than usual. The one-hour lessons felt like two. The forty-minute lunch felt like eighty. And the last period felt like the whole day. That was until the clock finally reached 3pm. You dashed out of that last class. With only an hour spare, you shoved all your textbooks into your locker and grabbed your spare makeup bag. You were relieved that you set everything up for the sleepover last night. It was a sign. You thought.

You sprinted to the restroom and touched up your makeup in the last hour. Re-applied mascara. More blush. More bronzer, then more lipstick. This has been the moment you’ve been waiting for. You couldn’t wait to toss your arms around his neck and finally admit the feelings that have been gnawing at your heart. Because the thrill made your heart flutter, you took a deep breath and expelled all of your troubles, worries, and pessimistic thoughts. Though a pinch of them lingered within you, you felt more pleased as the tightness in your joints eased.

Placing your lipstick back in the bag, you glanced at your watch. It’s only been ten fucking minutes. You toss your head back in irritation, wondering what to do. Observing your hair and outfit in the mirror, you lightly wet your hands and slick the fly-aways at your hairline. You opted to waste your time by doing homework in a random classroom near the gymnasium because there was nothing else you could do.

Finally.

You stood right in front of the gymnasium doors, ready to meet Eddie. You fixed your hair and patted your top straight. You chewed on your lips as you intently watch the seconds tick by.

3:59:45

3:59:50

3:59:55

4:00:00

You took a deep breath. Inhaling in. Exhaling out. Widely opening the door, you were met with—nothing. Despite the fact that you were unsure of what to anticipate, you certainly did not expect to find the gym deserted, the lights out, and the only source of light was coming from the sun rays illuminating through the window. Maybe he’s doing something different.

The sound of your footsteps echoed through the hall as you slowly walked towards the middle of the gymnasium. Standing in the centre, you began to glance about to see if anyone was hiding or if there was any indication of life. The excitement still lingered within your heart, not doubting Eddie at all. 4:02:39. He’s probably just late, typical Eddie. You bit your lips, staring at the two doors of the gymnasium, hoping to see a curly, long-haired silhouette appear.

4:05:27. After a while of standing, you decided to go to the stands and sit down. You still had high expectations for Eddie's arrival; the idea of him standing you up hadn't even crossed your mind. Eddie was frequently 20-30 minutes late for social occasions. But you could wait; you had plenty of time before the sleepover. It was simply a ten-minute journey from your place to school. There’s plenty of time, you reasoned.

Time continued to tick by, as you soaked in silence. The coolness of the gymnasium enveloped your form, but your enthusiasm kept you warm as your leg bounced quickly. Though dread has not triumphed over your eagerness, the overthinking gremlin in the back of your mind has quietly begun to scratch at your thoughts slowly making it's way to your heart. He wouldn’t leave me waiting this long. Would he?

4:14:52. He should be here in another fifteen minutes— max. You were thinking of doing more homework to waste time but what if it ruins the surprise? How? I don’t know. Maybe it’ll ruin the excitement? Now that you realise it, you were definitely overthinking this. As you still waited, it seemed as though the dust particles in the air just kept accumulating on you. Eddie is special to you that even if you were eventually a pile of dust, you would still wait for him. Though you couldn't stay here forever since you still had the sleepover to host, you would wait for him until the very last minute, second, and millisecond.

4:22:22. The latest you were willing to leave was 4:40pm. Loneliness and restlessness began to erode your sanity. Uncertainty started to twist your mind while irritation slightly bubbled beneath you, ready to explode. Your butt felt sore after a while, and after constantly shifting in your seat, you were sure layers of dust were adhering to your jeans. You still had to shower and change for the sleepover. Plus a ten-minute drive. Although your hair might still be wet when they arrive, you didn’t mind, it was all for Eddie.

A few more minutes started to pass by, then four minutes, six minutes and then sixteen minutes. 4:38:20. No signs of him, despite the extra thirty minutes you granted him. The exhilaration dissipated as anguish overwhelmed your heart. The last time you felt this familiar resentment was before the hidden admirer scheme. You were late, exhausted, and yet had plans.

I’m over it. You seized your belongings and stormed out the door, completely outraged. The doors of the gymnasium slammed against the brick wall as you obnoxiously forced them open. As you made your way out of the building through the corridor, you could hear the sounds of the jocks emanating from the parking lot. When you arrived at the parking lot, a familiar van was still parked in its accustomed spot. What could he possibly be doing for forty minutes?

That was until you heard Eddie's voice intermingled with the jocks' voices. Your head perked up as your gaze was drawn to the building's corner.

“Lowest I can do is thirty-five.”

The sound of Jason’s arrogant whine is heard, “C’mon Munson. I know you can do twenty-five for that.”

Of course. A fucking drug deal. Although you respected his little business and you never got in the way of it, you were already tired and very, very irritated. With Jason and his jocks in front of Eddie and his back to you, you made a brisk approach to the group.

Jason's eyes met your enraged ones and he smirked broadly. "Munson, a little someone's here for you," he added. You noticed the rest of the jocks trying to refrain from laughing. However, after a moment of bewilderment, Eddie's head turned around and finally it was realised you. His gaze softened but remained cautious since he was in the middle of a deal, clearly oblivious to your infuriating temper which angered you even more.

“Oh h-hey Y/N-Um-l’ll be over at yours after th-”

“I’ve been waiting in the gymnasium for you—since four!” You angrily exclaimed right in front of everyone.

Eddie shifted his whole body to face you, confusion striking every part of his body, unable to grasp what you’re trying to say.

“I-I’m sorry?” He asked warily, now noticing your furious demeanour. You scoffed, sheer rage boiling in your tone, spiteful enough to block out the jocks' snickering in your ears.

“You told me to meet you at the gymnasium at four! Remember the note?”

“Note?” Eddie’s eyes rapidly glanced between you and Jason still unaware, “I-I don’t know what you’re talking ab-”

“I know it’s you, Eddie! Stop lying! T-the notes, the flowers a-and the fucking-e-everything! I-t’s you!” You almost shout at him, tears already welled up in your eyes as you hold back the excruciating lump in your throat. He advanced a step towards you, hands outstretched, ready to embrace you, but you back away from him to resist his touch.

Your face is flushed, tears ached in your eyes, confident that he's acting clueless because he's in the presence of the jocks.

“Don’t fuck with me, Eddie. Don’t act like you weren’t secretly passing all these corny notes and flowers to me for this past week.”

Eddie remained silent. Genuinely stumped by the entire ordeal. He watched your figure start to shatter apart as sorrow began to creep into his consciousness. Your fingers and lips trembled as a few tears trickled down your cheek. You glanced at the ground, now doubting if it really was Eddie. How could it not be Eddie? It’s him. Eddie peered over at the jocks who are cackling to themselves and then turned to face you. He couldn't care less about them; his top focus right now is you.

“L-look I-I’m sorry b-but-I,” Eddie stuttered out words to form a sentence but couldn’t, not when you were already so hurt by something he didn’t do.

“Was this all real?” you huffed out through tears.

“W-what was what?”

“This,” you point your finger between his figure and yours, “Was it all fake? When we hated each other's guts, d-did you really hate me? Did you do this to get some sort of revenge?” Within the span of your remark, you shed a torrent of tears, which were now gushing continuously past your cheeks and onto your shirt. You were well aware that you seemed dishevelled. Tear tracks likely surfaced on your cheeks from the mascara seeping down with your tears.

He opened his mouth to say something but you continued, “Did you pretend we were okay and acted like you were secretly in love with me this past week so you could watch me fall apart because you hate me so much?”

This sudden pressure in Eddie's lungs prevented him from breathing correctly. There was nothing he did. Nothing. Although he was confused by the entire circumstance, he was not confused by the fact that he loves you. And now that you're wondering if it's all fake, incited additional rage and perplexity.

“Awe.” A voice interrupted. When you glance up, you find Jason cynically pouting and flashing his best puppy eyes at you and Eddie.

Eddie clenched his jaw, “Jason fuck off. I’m calling off the deal.”

Jason’s brows furrowed, “Calling off the deal? I thought you needed money for that old man and that shitty van of yours that probably reeks of weed and your own filth.”

Eddie shoved Jason to the ground. He was already on edge, and Jason was exacerbating the situation. You silently gasped and jumped back in panic as Patrick took Eddie by the collar of his shirt.

Jason promptly redeemed himself, swiftly standing on his feet and patting away the residual dirt on his pants and jacket before snatching Eddie from Patrick. The lump at the back of Eddie's throat kept him silent as Jason sneered sinisterly between you and his friends.

“You deserve this Munson. You deserve to live in hell,” Jason muttered. Eddie loudly grunted, trying to break free from Jason’s grip. Instead, his grasp tightened as he began to chuckle, becoming increasingly louder and menacing.

“Oh, this is funny. We did a good job boys. Didn’t we?” Jason asked as he looked over at his friends with a bitter smile. They exchanged broad grins as they fist-bumped one other. You stood there now being the oblivious one, confused as to why they were celebrating, but assumed it had something to do with Eddie. It was now his turn to shove Eddie to the ground, causing him to wince in pain.

A loud sigh escaped Jason’s mouth as he faced you, showing a modest tight-lipped smile. “By the way-” his tongue rolled over his lips, “-I’m truly sorry for the mistake.”

“What?” Your brows dipped in complete confusion.

“Blame Patrick— It was a peony, not a rose.”

You felt your soul being drained out of you as your face slumped. It seemed as if the world had come to a halt for a brief minute. Sudden heat surged to your cheeks as your fingers tightened on the hem of your shirt, ripping it. The uneasiness in your heart was replaced with frenzy, overwhelming the capacity your emotions can take. A malicious smirk emerged as he witnessed the dread on your face abruptly morph into vengeance.

“Happy April fools, ‘sweetheart’.” His tone overflowed with satisfaction and pride, thrilled with what he had accomplished.

As the boys praised him, he spun away on his heels, a triumphant smile on his face. Once more, you felt a prickling sensation in your vision. Guilt started to torment your mind as Eddie hesitantly rose to his feet.

“You fucking asshole!” You screamed, legs now running towards Jason as anger controlled your body. However, you were grabbed tightly by the waist, stopping you from reaching Jason. You aggressively flailed your arms and kicked your legs as hard as you could to get out of the grasp.

‘L-Let g-go! Let go!” You shrieked through sobs. You watch Jason and his friends cracking up. Some mock you by flailing their hands. Some mock Eddie by imitating his horns.

“H-hey-hey-Y/N-p-please,” Eddie desperately begged. Your hits became weaker and slower under Eddie’s grasp. You start to slip down to your knees, hands covering your face in embarrassment, guilt and resentment.

Hiding behind your hands provided you with the fragment of comfort in the knowledge that you felt like no one could see you and you could see no one. In ways you've never experienced, your heart began to ache in the most agonising depths imaginable. You didn't want to confront Eddie at all. You wished you could simply go back in time to when you both were frequently arguing. Embarrassment poured over you as you wept on the ground, not realising you were in Eddie's grasp.

Unaware of how much time has gone while you've been cloaked in the dark by your hands, you cautiously raised your head and noticed the sun beginning to fade behind dwellings. Eddie felt your chin settle on his shoulder and gave you a comforting stroke on the back. Although he was unaware of this prank, he felt awful for not discovering sooner.

“I’m sorry.”

Humiliation chewed up the remainder of your swelling anger leaving you in a pit of remorse. You gulped after Eddie’s voice pierced the silence.

“No. I’m sorry, Eddie.”

“But you didn’t know that they were doing this to you,” Eddie agonised as he heaved almost tiredly, feeling his chest rising and falling with every breath he took.

“Well you didn’t know either.”

Eddie remained quiet while you both sat in each other’s presence. His arms are now around your waist, and yours around his neck with the night wind growing colder, allowing the numbness in your heart to intensify.

“I-I’m just so sorry for putting the blame on you. I-I’m sorry for thinking your ‘friendly’ actions meant something more. I just thought it was because of the notes and stuff,” you trailed off quietly as the whispers of the breeze drifted by your ears, allowing a few seconds of stillness to pass.

Eddie pursed his lips, resting his chin on top of your head, “I mean, what if I truly meant for it to be something more in the first place?”

You leaned back from his touch, his exhausted and gloomy eyes gazing at yours.

“What do you mean?”

Eddie noticed the insecurity in your eyes as your eyes flinched in confusion, “Princess, I’ve been wanting more ever since we had our first argument. I just knew you were different than the others, but I genuinely thought you ‘hated’ me-” He used his fingers as quote marks to recall that stage, “-but that one time where you didn’t make a mean comment like you would, I-I thought there was a chance for us to change.” He cupped your cheek and stared into your weary eyes, “A-And it did. I was over the moon when we had our first- I don’t know, our first respectfulish conversation.” You tenderly smiled, leaning into his touch. Eddie shifted his attention elsewhere, nibbling on his lower lip while his cheeks turned scarlet. The moment you let out a small chuckle, his eyes locked with yours once again, but this time, you could feel the honesty and grief in his eyes.

“I just hope that this whole prank thing didn’t change your feelings towards me,” Eddie quietly voiced.

You shook your head, “Well now knowing that you actually like me, it has changed a bit.”

His face twisted and plummeted with confusion and fear, leaving him dumbfounded. As you watched him experience the stages of grief in two seconds, you could not contain the bubbles of laughter that shortly erupted.

“Not in a bad way, stupid, it just made me fall harder for you even more.”

Eddie sarcastically placed his hands above his heart, rolling his eyes as he deeply exhaled a large breath, “Oh I am flattered by your cheesiness.” You playfully slapped his arm, “But seriously, I was genuinely worried for a second,” he chuckled before he brought you into his warm embrace. In an instant, the worry and stress that had been haunting you were swiftly washed away by his touch and were replaced with serenity and tenderness.

“I wonder how the others will react to this,” you quietly whispered against his shoulder.

“This?”

“Us.” Your head rose to greet Eddie's, merely inches apart. His gaze is drawn between your eyes and lips.

He slightly shrugged, “I don’t know about the others, but I know Dustin is going to be thrilled.”

You let out a few stifled giggles as you envisioned Dustin bouncing with excitement when you reveal the information. As you peered over Eddie's shoulder, the moon was gently rising to reveal its splendour whilst the streetlights cast their glory. For some reason, something felt odd, it was as if your brain was screaming, trying to alert you.

“Eddie, how long have we been sitting here?”

“Uh-I don’t know,” He flicked his wrist to view his watch, “It’s 5:40— if that makes it any better.”

5:40? You thought hard in your head about what you possibly forgot. Textbooks in your locker? No. Assignment due tomorrow? No. Going to Robin’s house? No. Sleepover? N-Yes.

“Fuck!” You loudly exclaimed, startling Eddie as you scrambled to stand up straight.

“What? What?” His eyes widened in fear, baffled by your troubled state.

“T-the sleepover!”

“Oh shit.”

#eddie munson imagines #eddie munson #eddie x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x you #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson imagine

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sonamytrash · 2 months

Text

Nothing exciting

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Tags: Levi x Reader, pregnancy, secret pregnancy, Fluff, Krista is a cutie.

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The mess hall was a cacophony of clanging silverware and low conversations, the air thick with the scent of fried onions and meat. Eren, Armin, Mikasa, Sasha, Connie, Jean, Ymir, Reiner, and Krista sat at their usual table, their eyes trained on you and Levi, who were sitting a few tables away. They had been watching you both ever since they had seen the scene at the stables, and now they couldn't help but wonder how long it had been going on for. The group had spent the better part of the last few days speculating about the nature of your relationship, with each member offering their own unique theories.

There was you, with your playful demeanor and unabashed affection. It was like a breath of fresh air in the otherwise stuffy environment. And Levi? Well, he was the strong, silent type; the rock upon which the survey corps relied.

The interactions between the two of you were fascinating to watch. Even the most casual of glances or gestures seemed to carry a weight of meaning that the others didn't quite understand. The way you both would sneak a touch or a quick brush of fingers against each other's arms as you passed one another, was enough to send the more observant scouts into a frenzy of speculation.

Sasha leaned in, her voice low but curious. "I wonder if they've been hiding this from us all this time," she mused. "They've always seemed so close, but I never would have guessed..." She trailed off, lost in thought.

As they continued to watch, Krista couldn't help but smile whenever she saw you both stealing a moment of privacy, or when Levi would blush and avert his gaze at one of your more forward advances. The air seemed charged with an electricity that was palpable even from across the room. Her curiosity getting the better of her, "Do you think they've been dating long?"

Reiner shrugged, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Hard to say, really. They've always been pretty close. You remember, back when we first joined up? They were inseparable even then." He turned back to his meal. "It would be reasonable to assume they have been hiding it all this time."

Armin, who had been listening quietly to the conversation, piped up. "I heard they grew up together in the underground," he said, his tone thoughtful. "They must have some pretty deep history between them, and their reasons for keeping things quiet, it isn't unusual given the nature of this line of work for them to be cautious."

Mikasa couldn't help but wonder how you must feel during the times when the scouts were beyond the walls. It was one thing to be apart for a few days or weeks, but when the missions lasted for months at a time. The thought made her heart ache for you just a little.

Ymir decided to chime in with a suggestive joke. "There must be something about the miserable bastard that makes her like him. Maybe he's packing." she says suggestively, earning a few chuckles from the others. "You guys are at the stables this afternoon, right? You'll have to tell us if anything exciting happens." She adds, looking over at Krista and Armin.

The mess hall emptied out, and the scouts went about their business. Some to train, others to muck out the stables or tend to the horses.

You were in your element when you were around the horses. You had a way with them that was both gentle and firm, earning their trust and respect without fail. The soldiers looked up to you, admiring your knowledge and your dedication. You were strong, capable, and unapologetically yourself.

Which is why it seemed so unusual when Hange stopped by and told you to be careful around the horses, "Don't push yourself too hard and to make sure to gave the soldiers more work to do." Their words were softly spoken, meant only for you, but they carried weight nonetheless. Krista and Armin overhead the conversation and quickly averted their gaze, looking at one another with the same questionable look. Hearing you insist that you were fine and not to worry. It wasn't long before the captain himself made an appearance, walking straight over to you, his expression softening but still relaying something that only you seemed to understand as you sighed at him, leaving the stables.

After mucking out the stalls and exercising the horses, Krista was keen to hop into the showers. As she turned the corner, she let out a sigh of frustration as she approached the bathroom door, an out of order sign taped to it. Her heart sank. "Great," she muttered under her breath. The alternative facilities weren't as nice or warm as the main showers they would have to do. With a sigh, she decided to brave the less-frequented bathroom at the other wing end of the building.

As she approached the familiar bathroom door, she could hear muffled sounds coming from within. Curious, she placed her ear against the wood, and she heard someone retching violently, followed by the sound of someone vomiting into the toilet. She quickly knocked on the door. There was no reply, so she knocked again, a little harder this time. "Excuse me, are you okay in there?" She asked, concerned.

The sound of the door swinging open made her jump. Your face was pale and clammy, "Oh, hi Krista," your voice soft. "I didn't expect anyone else to be here. The water in here is always cold, you know that, right?" You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, a blush creeping across your cheeks.

Krista swallowed hard, her heart still racing. "Are you okay?" she asked concerned, her voice barely above a whisper. She couldnt help but notice that you were wearing your casual clothes, and the faint outline of a bump was visible beneath your shirt. Her eyes widened, the conversation between you and Hange at the stables, the captains attitude towards you still doing strenuous activities all made sense very quickly.

You smiled at her realisation, "Well, I'm not feeling my best right now, but I'll be fine." You paused, leaning against the door frame. "And I guess this means the cat is out of the bag." You chuckle to yourself.

"Look, Krista, there's something I need you to promise me." Your voice taking on a gentle but serious tone. "You can't tell anyone about this, you understand?" You gestured to your midsection, your fingers grazing the fabric of your shirt. "My uniform just about hides it for now, I know it won't be long before it's too obvious. But it would just be easier to keep things quiet for as long as possible. You know how it is around here, people talk." You explain.

Krista nodded. "I-I won't say anything, I promise." She bit her lip, feeling both honoured that you trusted her with the information, still completely shocked.

"Thank you, Krista." You reply relieved, "I don't know what I'm going to do. The survey corps isn't exactly known for its family-friendly policies." Your brow furrowed, and you ran a hand through your hair, tugging at the roots as you let out an exasperated sigh.

Krista nodded understandingly, not used to seeing you like this. Her usual passion began to shine through in an effort to be supportive and positive about the situation. A baby was surely a wonderful thing. "I'm sure there's got to be a way to make it work. You're a valuable member of the team. We need you here! and I'm sure Captain Levi will do whatever it takes to make it all work out to-" She bit her lip, hesitant before continuing, realising she had just assumed Levi was the father, confirming your previous comment about how people gossip around the headquarters. "It is Levi's, right?" She asked, blushing furiously, her voice barely above a whisper. Your face lit up, and you smiled at the mention of Levi's name as you let out a small giggle.

"Is it that obvious, huh?" You ask, slightly embarrassed that your relationship with the captain seems to have become common knowledge, you had both done such a good job of hiding it for so long. "That's one of the reasons I need you to keep it between us. You know how he is." You say, rolling your eyes playfully "He can be a real pain about our private life. Hange knowing makes him nervous enough." You chuckle.

Krista smiles sweetly and nods, "How did Captain Levi take it?" she finally asks, her voice curious, the question was burning in the back of her mind and she knew if she didn't ask now, she would never find out. The smaller details and intricacies of your relationship were fascinating to her. Having watched from afar all these months.

You hesitated for a moment, then smiled, it wasn't like you had been able to share this news with many people. "He was... surprised, at first," you chuckled. "But once he got over the shock, he was actually really happy. He's been so supportive, you know? I know he doesn't come accross as the fatherly type, but I know... I know he'll be a great dad." You said affectionately, resting a hand on your small bump. Krista smiled brightly, reaching out to take your other hand and squeezing it lightly.

"Congratulations, that's amazing, really! And a little scary, too, I imagine." She said thoughtfully. "But when you're ready, everyone will support you. Of that I'm certain." She said in an effort to reassure you. You smiled at her "Thank you, Kris. I appreciate it."

The next morning, as the group walked past the stables, Krista saw you sat down, leaving the more strenuous tasks to the cadets, Levi by your side drinking tea quietly, keeping an eye on you no doubt. You smiled sweetly as your eyes met hers, and you gave her a knowing wink. She smiled back at you, Ymir raised an eyebrow. "What was that about?" Krista shook her head, "Nothing exciting."

#levi x reader #levi ackerman #levi aot #levi x y/n #captain levi x reader #levi attack on titan #levi ackerman x reader #krista lenz #levi fluff

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woozvc · 4 months

Text

call you tonight

final (part XIX)

w/c - 1.6k + smau at the end

a/n - and this is it! after so long call you tonight has officially come to an end. I hope the last part of this clears up the eunwoo situation (reading your replies and theories made my day😭😭) and i hope this is an ending you can be satisfied with. thank you so much for all your love and patience on this series. it truly means a lot that you guys stuck around till the end even with my terrible posting schedule 🫶

previous / masterlist

this is it. this is the day.

the event started 20 minutes ago and till now, it's been a success. the auditorium is filled with laughter and dancing, courtesy of jihoons playlists.

you're currently standing at a corner just observing the entire place. a part of you feels at peace that this is finally over, the results will be out today and this is it. a part of you is also shit scared. the past few days have been a rollercoaster.

seungcheols words keep echoing in your head about how you're still important to him and he's changed. you really want to believe him. you really want to give him a-

“hey are you okay?”

you wake out of your trace by jihoons voice.

“yeah I'm fine”

“you seen a bit…distracted” he hands you a cup of lemonade. you take it with a small smile and shrug his comment off. no need to reply when he's right?

“how do you feel, you know, about your performance and all?” you look at him. he shakes his head

“I don't know. all of this feels unreal. I never thought I'd have to perform that too dance but here we are”

“doesn't it scare you?”

“obviously it does, but I find some comfort in it too. maybe it's the fact that a part of me believes taking this chance could end really well. maybe I'll finally let go of my past fears and just let myself be in the moment once.”

“hah.. that sounds nice.”

“yea I guess so. I think whatever happens tonight, I just hope I don't regret it. I want to take that risk”

you open your mouth to reply but you're interrupted by hoshis voice calling jihoon. he gives you a small smile and walks away.

right. regret. don't regret tonight. you decide to leave your spot in the corner when you see hansol walk in. being with a friend is better than being alone.

so jihoon is an amazing dancer. you were mesmerized, truly. his moves are fluid and his body doesn't miss a single beat. obviously hoshi is amazing too. his sharp and timed movements make him look like he was born for the stage.

the song is also amazing. jihoon later revealed it was called “bring it”. you'll definitely tell him to record it and send it to you.

the auditorium is a bit loud now. one hour till new year and the presidential results are about to be announced. you avoided seungcheol all night today. reason? you don't really know.

maybe you know mentally a part of you won't be able to handle his teasing if he wins. it's all friendly of course, but it doesn't change the fact you really, really want to win.

“hey y/n ready for the results?” jeonghan nudges into you and you push him off with an annoyed whine.

“jeonghan I swear if I don't win you'll have to wipe my tears”

“I won't mind that because I'll be winning”

“this is important to you huh?”

“it's my one shot to prove I'm actually good at something, can't fuck this one up”

“you dont have to prove yourself to anyone you know?”

“this is for me. I need this to tell myself I'm better than I think. I'm done always being known as the problem kid. and who knows maybe this will get me some street cred?” he winks and walks back to his group, knowing if he kept speaking, he would say something something sad and make you feel more stressed than you already do. you'd probably scold him for being so self deprecating too. your eyes follow him walking back and

oh.

seungcheol is looking directly at you. his gaze burning deep into you. you look away quickly, taking a deep breath to calm yourself. the music in the room slowly fades out.

“okay ladies and gentlemen are we ready for the most awaited moment of today?” seungkwans voice echos through the room and so does the cheering of the students.

“honestly? I'm not shocked at the result. I'm so proud of everyone who participated and made it this far. just know all of you are amazing and we as the student council and the teachers love your dedication. so first of all here are the names of the people who made it to the finals”

he starts reading off the list. there's your name and eunwoos name. after a few students he announces jeonghans name and….thats it? what?

this is surely a mistake and the entire auditorium feels so. there's chattering and confused looks all around

“ah yes, there's only 9 participants now. choi seungcheol removed his name because of some unavoidable circumstances so we divided all his votes to all the others”

your head shoots in seungcheols direction. you look at him confused and he smiles at you. he motions you to stay where you are for now. this can't be real? he can't just remove his name?

hansol taps your shoulder and tells you to focus on the stage. you look back at the stage, realizing you completely missed seungkwans dramatic speach on how much he waited for the results etc etc.

“and so, svtct, your student council president is…..y/n!”

there's screaming in the auditorium but this place has never felt so quiet. your legs are numb and your hearing is fucked. you…won? you actually did it?

“y/n go to the stage!!” jeonghan pushes you from the crowd towards the stage. you want to say something to him. you want to apologize for winning to him but

he's smiling so wide.

his eyes are genuine. he's genuinely happy you won. “don't worry about me, my favorite cousin’s win is my win” he grabs your hand and takes you to the stage.

seungkwan helps your walk onto the stage where the teachers are standing to give you your certificate and badge. you receive it, saying a small thank you to the teachers presenting and seungkwan hands you the mic

“any words president?”

any words? what the fuck even are words? you stare at the mic then back at seungkwan. you're glad you've been friends with him for so long that even without words, understands and nods at you

“I think our president wants to save the speach for during school hours to not bore us.. well I hope my speach was dramatic enough, wonwoo I'm looking at you. there's 30 minutes till new years so till then…enjoy!” he looks at jihoon to restart the music and when it does, all the eyes on you slowly move away as seungkwan leads you to the teachers.

they all congratulate you and praise you. after a while one teacher asks

“so who's going to be your vice?”

“jeonghan” there's no hesitation in your voice. the teachers seemed shocked, a bit put off too but they don't question it. they tell you good luck and let you go back to the crowd.

you stand near the stage for a bit. letting it all sink in. all these months of work, all the effort and everything worked out. even the banter with seungcheol worked- right. seungcheol.

you run back to try and find him when eunwoo bumps into you.

“hey y/n! congratulations there's no one who deserves it more than you” he gives you a smile and pat on your shoulder.

“thanks eunwoo”

“are you guys busy” you hear seungcheol behind you and immediately turn to him.

“not busy at all man” eunwoo says and walks off, winking at seungcheol while seungcheol just looks at him disgusted.

“I never liked that guy”

“why did you remove your name”

“he's always given me a bad vibe”

“you wanted this so badly”

“and he keeps flirting with-”

“choi seungcheol answer me.”

you cut him off

“answer you? okay fine. first of all don't call me by my full name. I left presidency because frankly I hate the pressure. I never wanted to be captain anyway. I got forced into it because of my grades and extra curriculars.” he takes a pause to look around the room before continuing.

”i realized I was only doing this because it was expected of me. so I left it. I rejoined the track and badminton team. that's what was important to me before and I'm going to continue it now” he says and looks at you. a small smile playing on his lips.

you're speechless. you always knew seungcheol never really liked captaincy but you didn't know till what extent. you feel bad. you feel bad for the all “why aren't you working” and “why did they make you captain” comments you said to him.

“I'm sorry seungcheol”

“for what”

“for everything”

he smiles. you realize that you're seeing his dimples after so long. he's never smiled that much in front of you before. he looks pretty.

“10 seconds guys!” yells seungkwan into the microphone. seungcheol softly takes your hand and says

“y/n, I know you haven't forgiven me”

“but I have to say”

“I've been thinking a lot”

“you're too important to me”

“I think I like you, more than friends.”

“can you give me a chance?”

“happy new year!” jeonghan comes and hugs you.

you have no idea how this is going to end. you're scared, terrified of this feeling but you won't let this go. you keep your grip on seungcheols hand. slowly the student council joins the hug and the rest of your friends follow. you look around. you're surrounded by people who love you, people who care for you. what could possibly go wrong?

“yeah…I'll take the risk.”

2months later :

taglist 🔖 — (thank you to you all <3)

@minhui896 @lirtha97 @haecien @thefroggybazaar @mayashu @jeonghansshitester @wonwoos-wineparty @huening-kawaii @sp1ng @wonwootakemyheart

@ddokye @thepoopdokyeomtouched @zzenkha @nishloves @weird-bookworm @sana-is-ms-rmty @immabecreepin @amxlia-stars

@peachhiz @punkhazardlaw @lockburn-castle @asyre @luchiet @ocyeanicc @wondering-out-loud @odetoyeonjun @tamcitrus @miriamxsworld @kissesfrmwonwoo @cherr-y-eji @jeoncatsworld @youre-on-your-ownkid @addicsvt @bangantokchy @tacosandbitch @sun-daddy-yoriichi @ckline35 @rakshithanotrao @isabellah29 @mangocustard16 @lone-lone-ranger @gyuguys @writingbarnes @scarlet931 @odxrilove @wonwoobestboyy @wollycobbl3-blr

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jikookuntold · 19 days

Text

Jikook and the Untold Narratives

As a hardcore Jikooker who deep-dives into everything related to Jikook, I always have different ideas, theories, and analyses in my mind. But most of the time, I hesitate to contextualize them, develop them into actual essays, and share them in this blog. This post you are about to read was an almost a one-year-old topic running in my head, but I wasn’t sure about writing it until the Bangtan episode for D-Day Seoul concerts came out a few weeks ago, but as a professional procrastinator, it took me this long to write. According to the title this was supposed to be about the narratives related to Jikook, and I tried rooting and analyzing them, but somehow, it turned out mostly as a long rant about hypocrisy and misunderstandings in this fandom. Anyway, these are only my opinions and observations, and I don't claim to be 100% right. I hope you enjoy reading this post.

The Narratives

What do I mean by the narratives? Are there any narratives related to Jikook? Why did I even decide to write about this? Well, at some point I noticed that we, as Jikookers, have always been blamed for falling for "company narratives". It is widely said and believed by Jikook antis that the company wants to represent Jikook as the "couple/ very close and special duo" in BTS to the point that they call the Jikook ship the creation of Bang PD himself. A specific group of antis believe this is for hiding their real relationships, and the rest of them think it's just for fanservice. They think we are fools to fall for it because if Jikook were a real gay couple, they would hide it from us because of homophobia.

I know this is literally a conspiracy theory made by them, but conspiracy theories are also theories, and like any other theory, they have to be based on some external evidence. So, where is the evidence that leads antis to the conspiracy theory of Jikook being the “company couple”? Antis believe everything Jikookers get as moments, is company content, and this content is designed, faked, and manipulated to make us believe Jikook are a couple, and based on their logic, believing the things we see instead of their conspiracy theories means that we have fallen for company narratives. I can’t deny the fact that we get lots of Jikook moments from official content, but this applies to every other duo, not just Jikook. Then what is so special about Jikook that makes antis believe there is a narrative being pushed?

The answer is the nature of the Jikook moments we get. Some of the interactions between Jimin and JK are nothing like the interactions between the other members. The high dosage of couple behavior in these interactions is not justifiable with common excuses like Korean culture, flirty friends, or even KPop fanservice. Therefore, antis need to make up another excuse, which is the conspiracy theory of the company narrative. This narrative contradicts the principle of “Gays have to hide because homophobia, duh!” which their theory is based on. Also shipping culture in other boybands always insisted on the company and management hiding the gay relationship, not pushing it. And this is another thing that makes Jikook different and special.

Let’s deep dive into this contradictive narrative. Being the company couple doesn’t stop in the company narrative and spreads much further. Let’s imagine Jikook is the official couple that the company is investing in, to make fans and the general public believe they are special and gain more money from the narrative. Then the media should follow this agenda and use them together for headlines and clicks. Then fans also have to go with the flow and make their sub-narratives aligned with this agenda. But does any of this happen in reality? The following parts of this post is going to be a long answer to this question.

Company Narratives

Does BigHit/Hybe use Jikook? pairs the two of them together more than others? encourages them to behave in a certain way? includes more interactions of them in the official content intentionally? In order to answer these questions, we need to overview the official content provided by the company. First I have to clarify that not all the official content has the same weight in this examination, and we can classify them into different categories regarding the prevalence and accessibility to the public.

The first category can be called the public content. This type of content is usually free and accessible to everyone online with just a few clicks. These are the things you get when you type the names of the BTS members or songs in a Google search, like official MVs, Bangtan episodes, Run BTS, or live performance videos, that introduced most of us to the Bangtan world. The other category is a part of the main content that is mostly not for free, like documentaries, travel shows, Army zip content, seasonal packages, etc. This content is accessible in its original form to a big group of fans who can afford to pay or know their ways to pirate.

The last category is the content that not all the fans consume despite being officially released, even a big group of them are not aware that this content exists. This group of content might be free or paid, like Behind-the-scenes episodes of the main shows, official DVDs of the concerts, and memories of each year. They are like the leftovers of the main content that for some reason, didn’t end up in the public or main content, and only the dedicated fans or chronically online ones originally consume them.

Disclaimer: This classification was all done by me, and it’s not claimed to be official or accurate. Feel free to disagree and have your own categorization and conclusion. But what is the point of this classification? As I admitted earlier in this post, we get lots of Jikook interactions in official content released by BigHit/Hybe, same as the unofficial content like Vlives/Weverse, social media posts, livestreams, or fancams from concerts or award shows, which gave us so many incredible and unforgettable Jikook moments while they were not released by the company, but my focus is on the official content and how it’s connected to the narrative of comply couple.

If you pay attention to the ship moments, you will notice that they are not equally distributed in the different categories of content I named above. In the first category AKA, the public content, Jikook moments are not much dominant, and all the ships and duos pretty much equally have their moments overall. The second category is almost the same as the first one, maybe the Jikook moments in these two categories still feel more couply and spicy compared to the others but they are still balanced because the editors usually push the extra moments to the last category.

The last category which we can call as “leftovers” is where we get the most of the eyebrow raising moments of the original content, like almost kiss or hickey. It's the content all the extra Jikook moments that had to be cut out of the main content for balancing things up, end up there, and it’s the content not all the fans follow because a big portion of this fandom is not chronically online and do not have stan Twitter/X accounts or care about Twitter trends. For me, the best example here is the second season of ITS and how all the organic Jikook interactions were pushed to the behind-the-scenes episode with viewers one-third of the main episodes. This doesn’t mean that the main episodes of ITS2 have no Jikook moments, they do, but not more than Taekook or VMin or Jihope, thanks to the modifications done by editors.

So, based on this analysis, can we say there is a narrative going on? I leave the conclusion to you, but I think there is no narrative here other than showing some fun interactions and closeness between the members. They have more of the Jimin and JK interaction moments because Jikook happen to spend more time together and interact more, and these interactions sometimes cross the platonic line regarding the nature of their relationship. I believe if BigHit wanted to palm Jikook off as a couple to the public, they wouldn’t push their couply moments into the content that the vast majority of fans don’t even know about.

Another thing we should keep in mind is that the leftover content is the most organic one, and unlike most of the moments from public or main content (for example the Run BTS episodes or Bon Voyages), there is no script involved. It’s just how members naturally interact and cameras happen to be there to film them. I’m not saying the first two categories are fake. In fact, I believe the majority of the BTS content we get is authentic, and even when there are scripts involved, it’s based on the natural dynamics between the members. If you have been following the members and listened to them carefully in the past decade, you know they are never being forced to do things together against their will, at least not after their rookie era.

Antis also bring up another argument to prove their conspiracy theory, and it is the argument that “Jikook have been paired together a lot”. I don’t have access to any reliable statistical information to confirm that Jikook had the most pairings between the BTS members, but if someone makes this claim, I can partially agree with them. This might not apply in all the eras of Bangtan group activities, but overall, this can be considered as a fact, and it has a simple explanation; Jikook get paired together a lot because they are the main/lead duo, and their vocals match very well, and they can work in sync and communicate perfectly. When a duo can do the job with great chemistry, without wasting time and energy for syncing and communicating, why the company has to give it to any other duo in the group? This is how things work in the entertainment industry, and there are no narratives and forces needed to be involved.

This is mostly about the vocal and dance projects or photoshoots Jikook have done together several times, and there have been no other examples except the potential travel show we know they filmed in 2023 that made antis stand on their conspiracy theory even stronger than before. First of all, we don’t know how and when this travel show will be aired and what agenda it will follow. Will it be this year or the next year? Will it be a whole series or just a 30-minute Bangtan episode? We know nothing until we get an update on it. We are not even sure if they traveled just for the show or if it was an excuse for Jikook to travel before their enlistment. I recommend you to read this post about an interesting theory on the travel show.

Okay, now let’s talk about the other narratives related to Jikook, the ones that were not conspiracy theories and were actually planned by the company. BigHit, as an entertainment label, debuted BTS with a narrative, and Jimin and JK, as the members and a duo, had their designated roles. At first, Jimin got the role of the macho man in the group who had to go through a physical transformation because of it. Fortunately, this harsh role changed after some time, and Jimin got a new narrative. This time, he was the awkward member who became the punchline of the jokes by losing every game, the member who got rejected several times and wasn’t supposed to debut at all.

These parts of the narrative were far from the real Jimin, but some parts were close to his real personality like he is the sweetest member, a hug and gift fairy who is there for the others. But even these positive features were misused and turned Jimin into a cheerleader and outcast who might get “left out by the heartless" bandmates he loves and supports. You may say I’m exaggerating, but these narratives are still going on to this day and feed his antis. These narratives were one of the main reasons Jimin’s successful self-made solo debut became a hard pill to swallow for the majority of fans ad even the company because they expected this triumph from any vocal line member other than Jimin.

As I said earlier, Jikook as a duo also had their narrative since their debut. This narrative was technically a roleplaying between them; Jimin was assigned to show one-sided affection to JK on camera, and JK’s role was to reject Jimin and rank him as the least handsome member. This narrative went on for some time until it stopped around 2014/2015, but the damage was already done. Some people might question this one-sided affection being a narrative by BigHit. I’m sorry, but if you think a teenage rookie idol in KPop can show real affection in public to his same-sex bandmate, the joke is on you. I know most fans believed this roleplaying, and that was where everything went wrong.

Antis may say this narrative by itself "birthed the Jikookers breed", while it did the opposite. Despite this narrative being over for years, its aftermath is still visible in the fandom, and even dramatic Jikookers use it for their “fell first, fell harder” agenda, which I find really toxic and damaging. Other than portraying JK as a mean and insensitive kid, this roleplaying with the help of the narrative of awkward Jimin, turned Jikook into something unacceptable and even cringe-worthy because “how could JK even like Jimin when he hated and rejected him for years? because Jimin is not likable and makes JK uncomfortable”. It’s ironic, but the antis who keep repeating these lies, are in fact the ones who fall for the company narratives.

If Hybe wanted to push the narrative of Jikook being in a relationship, why did they pick such an unusual approach that backfired, and turned fans against them, and drawn them to the other ships? Hybe not only doesn’t promote Jikook more than other duos but also stops them from becoming mainstream by pushing their moments to the content no one sees. Maybe this is their way of gatekeeping and protecting Jikook which I appreciate, but it’s time for this fandom to realize that Jikook has nothing to do with the company narrative, and in fact it’s the opposite.

For example, in one of the recent Bangtan episodes (public content), when JK was resting backstage at his music show, and Tae came to visit, according to the Weverse live JK had before the show, we knew they cut the part where he said “Army” was looking for his whereabouts because otherwise, it would look like he doesn’t care where he was. But in the other Bangtan episode, they didn’t hesitate to keep the part where Jimin sounded like being left out, meanwhile, we knew all of them were headed to the same destination to celebrate Yoongi’s last concert. because that’s the narrative they push, the narrative of Jimin being left alone and Jikook having nothing to do with each other.

If Jikook were the company couple, they would have sat down together to announce their ship name for the official content. If Jikook were the company couple, Hybe would not cut out their moments, and we would have gotten some content from their numerous rendezvouses during the SYS tour in the US and Europe, but we got nothing, not even for the leftover content. If Jikook were the company couple, Hybe would not released their buddy system announcement only in the Korean version of the statement. If Jikook were the company couple, the GCF videos that had started with Jimin, would have been kept that way, and wouldn’t be turned into ot7 videos. If they can’t force JK, then nothing is forced.

If Jikook were the company couple, they would not plan Yoonmin/Taekook's solo debuts at the same time to make them appear in the same promotional activities and namedrop each other. This doesn’t mean Yoonmin/Taekook are the company couple, in fact, the dumbest question is "Jikook or Taekook?" The whole point is, that there was never a ship agenda, they never tried to push any ship as the real one to the general public or common fans. But their bonds have been used a lot for clicks and clout, and as a Jikooker I am confident enough to say I was not the one falling for any narratives or mediaplay by the company or media.

Media and Jikook

It’s a known fact that all different forms of media earn money from public attention, this is what keeps them going on. I said earlier, that if Jikook were the company couple, and Hybe intended to promote them as the official duo, then the media wouldn’t lose this opportunity to chase the clout because in that case, they would have the permission to follow this agenda and use the duo for headlines and clicks, but in reality this doesn’t happen to Jikook.

I’m not saying that Jikook don’t get any media coverage, they do. The media inside or outside Korea make headlines for their duo activities like the Black Swan dance or vocal collaborations, but there are many examples that Jikook didn’t make it to the headlines while another duo did in a very similar situation. I bring an example from Dispatch that everyone knows has the closest connection to Hybe; when Jimin posted the shirtless photo of them together for JK’s birthday, this media didn’t make any headlines for it, not even as the announcement of Jimin greeting JK's birthday.

But when Tae posted the screenshot of his video call with JK the night before his enlistment, while they were both shirtless, it became a headline on the Dispatch website. If you check the Dispatch website for 2023, you will not find anything about Jikook other than their departure and arrival together for the Japan trip, even their trip together in NY was not worthy news for this outlet. Also their joint enlistment in the military, despite being the first and only case of Buddy System in the KPop industry, didn’t get much media attention or specific headlines.

Jikook have never attended any event as a duo, they never had a photocall together as a duo, and since they have never made an official name for themselves, the media can't use a duo name for them. Meanwhile, they can use “Taekook” for the Tae and JK duo in their headlines and tags because the company has permitted by making this duo name official. As I mentioned earlier, I do not believe that Taekook or any other ship is the official one, but the audacity of antis to ignore these facts and label Jikook as the company couple is just ironic.

I’m not really interested in giving examples from Taekook, but I have no other option. Everyone remembers the premiere night of the movie “Dreamers” in April last year when Tae and JK attended together and had their photocall moment. Like any other movie premiere with big stars, this event also was covered by the media, but they got the biggest attention and social media engagement because of Taekook appearing together. Even though the reports of JK being shy and having a feminine haircut caused Taekookers to think they were being announced as a couple lol, in general, it was a pleasant moment until it wasn’t anymore.

A few months later, in August, a similar event was about to happen, and the media announced that Tae was going to attend his friend’s new movie premiere along with JK. As expected, a big wave of social media engagement started, but JK didn’t show up. I don’t know if he never intended to go or if he changed his mind just before the event because according to Dispatch, his name was in the guest list. All we know is that he logged into the Bangtan official Twitter account after years and posted some random photos just an hour before the event and logged out.

After that embarrassing moment for the media, I was expecting them to stop using Taekook for mediaplay, but they didn’t stop, and again in November, the media outlets reported that Tae would attend JK’s solo concert while we knew he was busy recording his Running Man episode the same day. I’m sure the media knew it better, but chasing the clout was their priority. There are many other examples of how media doesn’t work in favor of the “company couple narrative” for Jikook, but I will stop here because this post is getting too long.

Fandom Agendas

When there is a successful narrative launched by an entertainment label, the fandoms go with the flow, and alongside accepting the main narrative they make their own sub-narratives aligned with this agenda. But in the case of Jikook, this is far from the truth. When I say fans, I mean the collective representation of a group supporting an artist, something non-fans see from the outside, not just a focus group. Yes, we Jikookers exist but we don’t represent or control this fandom. According to some unofficial polls, we are not even between the top three of the biggest groups of shippers. So, it’s safe to say the so called narrative of Jikook has not been successful.

It’s not a secret that this fandom is against Jikook, but the discussion doesn’t end here. The sub-narratives made in the fandom have their own story. This opposition with Jikook contradicted their observations of them being close and always together, and they had to make the sub-narrative to justify it. But since they had already accepted another narrative made by BigHit, it wasn't a hard one. They decided that "Every interaction between Jikook is initiated by Jimin because he has always been in love with JK, and anything JK does is forced because he has always been uncomfortable with Jimin." This narrative and its sub-narratives caused Jimin to be labeled as the intruder and much worse names I will not mention, and it caused him to get so much hate, especially after every interaction he has with JK. It's true that he has the biggest fandom and the most devoted and supportive fans, but his anti-fans are also the biggest and the vilest ones.

JK also had his sub-narrative made by fans, and according to the vast majority of them, he is a straight playboy. I don't know where this sub-narrative comes from, maybe confessing to having a girlfriend as a teen or naming himself the "international playboy" did it for fans and made them ignore all the queerness in his personality and behavior, but this is the reason this fandom treats his "dating rumors" very differently even by his gay shippers. Army joke and say he is scared of girls, but they never make stories up about him being uninterested in women like they did for others (for example: an influencer asked Tae for his phone number, and he gave his manager's number, 100% fictional, but vastly believed as fact).

It’s actually quite funny when we see a local Youtuber is able to guess Jikook are the closest just by watching a few minutes of content, but the fans who have been here for a decade can’t and don’t want to see it, they can’t even let go of the 2013 jokes of “JK hates Jimin”, let alone accepting that they are close. They do any mental gymnastics they can to normalize, delegitimize, or ot7ify Jikook moments, meanwhile, when JK and Tae, themselves talk about drifting apart, fans dismiss it and call it fake. For example, last year, when Jikook were in Tokyo, JK was seen leaving the location of his shooting, which was a hotel different from the hotel where Jimin was staying, antis said: “They hate each other, to the point they can’t stay at the same hotel”. While a trip would have been solid proof for any duo in BTS to be close and in love, for Jikook, it becomes the reason for being distant and despising each other, and this is the hypocrisy of our fandom.

Maybe we get lots of Jikook from official content, it’s the outcome of Jikook’s closeness, but in the end, it’s Jikook themselves who confirm it with their behavior. When antis were celebrating Jikook not interacting, amid their lack of public appearance, it was JK who showed his love and support for Jimin by streaming his videos on YouTube. When antis claimed they don’t spend time together, it was JK who begged Jimin in his half-naked live to join him. He went live at his place right after the movie premiere, and musical theater, and explained the situation after Vhope did a live there. He explained Tae's claims about recording Layover at his place and talked about his delightful alone time when he was at the ski resort with Tae and his friends. He read JeonJimin comment out loud and announced that he wouldn’t stop holding Jimin. Maybe an older example is his post on Weverse right after the 2020 Taekook live apologizing for not talking much, and then a month later, when he went live with Jimin, he made it clear that he had a great time just doing the live.

These examples are countless, but there is no hope for the fans who even label the moments from unofficial content like lives and posts as planned or even forced by the company. If you think antis will let us have a happy day and enjoy the legit Jikook moments, you are mistaken. If there is Jikook, they always find a way to ruin it with their toxicity, and if there’s no Jikook, they use it to hurt us and spread their lies and fake moments on every social media platform.

Antis have the upper hand in social media because Hybe failed the so-called Jikook narrative, and it not just didn’t become the mainstream ship of Bangtan, but also fans turned against it. Despite this failure, Jikook still bothers antis so much, and they try hard to fight it and its shippers, but these fights and attacks are limited to social media. Whatever they do on social media, the hashtags they trend, the lies and hateful tweets and comments they leave out, are not gonna affect what Jikook have in real life because Jikook are real people, and against all the odds and real struggles, they are together and closer than ever.

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libraincarnate · 1 year

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astrology notes: 1 ❅

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quick note: i’m absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a culmination of some observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experience. above all this is just for fun.

the third astro note has the slightest bit of nsfw. nothing crazy but still, 18+. if not, skip that one lol.

lastly, unfortunately while reading this post you are NOT the main character (oh I know, bummer :/) therefore these may or may not apply to you. but, you might find something to be true about your friends, family, or crush. 😘 enjoy!

1. empty 3rd & 9th house: having never been on a plane/traveled outside of your home country, driving rarely even if you know how, or only traveling short distance, not for long & not often. could be much more of a home body.

hmm, could having an emtpty 3rd & 9th house = possible motion sickness or home sick when traveling?

2. check the persona chart of your dominant planets. so, if you are mercury, neptune, and mars dominant, check those persona charts for further detail, insight, and understanding of those planets regarding how they play out for you & how they're expressed in your life.

for example, having an aquarius venus in the birth chart: usually detached & not outright expressive with their feelings because of an emphasis on logic, friends to lovers but still friends while lovers, attracted to someone described as different or quirky.

but you also notice that you are attracted to those who are the bad boy/girl, intense, deep, all about you types too and you can even have a bit of these traits as well. come to find out you have a scorpio venus or venus in the 8th house in your venus persona chart but this can be subtle, or not, depending on various factors. so the persona chart can show you another layer to the planets in the birth chart.

3. heavy/prominent capricorn: might typically have rbf & suppress or want to control their emotions. they feel it inwardly but don’t express it outwardly. with that being said, capricorn and/or saturn in the 8th house might not have an expressive face during sex, could even avoid prolonged eye contact. even more so if capricorn venus, mars, or both in the 8th house.

4. sags: might be flashy, vain, or arrogant about many things but they don’t really boast their intelligence though they are very smart and thoroughly know/understand a variety of interesting subjects which they are also able to teach well.

5. virgo in the 4th house: kind of taking control at home in regard to bringing order, organization, micromanaging, being bossy towards family, keeping things clean, etc. can be stressful if you have messy family members when you can’t stand to be around mess & filth.

6. having scorpio placements is so funny, even if it's only one. you could have heavy libra, pisces, and gemini in your chart but that scorpio will give you a layer of intensity & depth even if you’re the only one who's aware of it.

7. mercury in 5th house: can have dramatic, exaggerated and/or loud speech.

if you have mercury in retrograde you might not be loud or someone who yells, and you hate getting yelled at.

8. gemini moon: using humor to cope with heavy emotions & their problems whether intentional/aware or not.

my favorite number is 8 so we’ll stop there. this is my first one so it’s short & sweet. 🍭

ending with this, someone please tell me what placements might indicate an attraction to the eyes. i have no aries/prominent 1st house placements in neither my birth chart nor my venus persona chart. i know there doesn't need to be an astrological explanation but just curious.

if you read this until the end I hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you.

#astrology #astro observations #astrology observations #astrology notes #astro notes #libraincarnate

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 6 months

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One massive difference between the western vs JP TWST fandoms that I haven't seen anyone else talk about is that the Japanese fandom seems to dwell in "grimdark" territory while the western one tries to see the best in these characters. From my glimpses into the Japanese fandom, they seem to see these character's darkness as the main appeal. That's reflected in their fanworks, since yandere works or things that dive into their dark sides are more popular there. While there is plenty of yandere content in the west, it seems more like a niche than the most popular way to portray the characters in fics where as in Japan that seems to be the norm on Pixiv. The JP seem to LOVE their grim dark fan theories WAY more than the western one. The western fandom seems like the opposite. Works seeing their humanity, them being decent partners, etc is the norm. Thought?

“I can fix him” vs “I can make him worse”—

Mmm, I have many thoughts on this but before I get into them I want to clarify some things. This is so everyone reading is running with the same definitions and thus can better understand (and perhaps contribute to) the discussion.

Firstly, “grimdark” can refer to any and all materials which people may find disturbing, amoral, and/or violent. Grimdark is NOT just yandere content. Although yandere content is an example of grimdark, not all grimdark is yandere.

Secondly, I want to dispel the notion that “grimdark” and “seeing the best in the characters” are opposites. They are actually not mutually exclusive; it is entirely possible to have the two overlap. For example, it is common for assassins to be after Kalim’s life (which is dark). However, Kalim himself is very cheery despite being cognizant of this (which is not dark, he is able to see the nest of this situation and is often praised for being a spot of sunshine in the cast). There are also much darker takes while staying true to Kalim’s caring nature, such as fandom works which portray his big heart (a strength) as a detriment, causing him to fall into deep paranoia and/or guilt. For the purposes of this discussion, I will still refer back to those two original viewpoints, just be aware that they are not truly “opposites”.

Lastly, the ask is phrased such that it suggests that dark content is “the norm” in Japanese circles. In actuality, the content you see is dependent on personal biases and what the algorithms feed you based on your likes and communities. While it’s true that perhaps Japanese fandoms have more dark content than the western fandoms, that doesn’t necessarily mean it is “the norm”. It is still considered niche, it is just that the fandom culture of Japan is more open-minded about these depictions, as well as fans’ choices to filter out dark content if they do not wish to encounter it. Western fandoms are very different in this regard. Rather than ignoring content they dislike or find disturbing, western fans tend to adopt an attitude of openly renouncing that which they dislike and, at times, calling out those that do enjoy that kind of thing. It is this social stigma and pressure within western fandoms which creates a less welcoming space for dark content to exist and to be publicly shared. Rather than saying one type of content is “the norm”, I think it’s more accurate to say certain types of content are deemed as being “acceptable” or “unacceptable” depending on the fandom culture.

Now then, as to why the western fandom in particular tends to favor works that show the TWST characters in a favorable light rather than focus on their darker aspects? There are many possible explanations for this:

Cultural differences in fandom spaces. I already mentioned this in the opening paragraphs, but it warrants repeating here. Japanese fans are much more reserved in how they express themselves and tend to keep quiet relating to content they dislike or don’t care for. Western fans are more outspoken and may actively “call out” what they dislike. This is typically observed in collectivist vs individualist countries, as conformity with the group/not causing disruptions to the group harmony and standing out and being one’s own individual are opposing ideologies and values.

Japan’s culture is one that stresses the importance of politeness and being proper. The country has strict social expectations of people and especially women (which makes up the majority of TWST’s fanbase). It is only in the realm of fiction where Japanese women are able to freely express themselves and to explore subject matter deemed socially inappropriate, however dark it may be. Fandom is their creative outlet. Meanwhile in the west, it’s the opposite. Overt uniqueness is more acceptable overall, but there is also a present effort of policing online content, often in the name of social activism and inclusion. This makes sense for western countries, many of which sport much more diverse populations than Japan.

Going in with the certain expectations of the game. Many western fans mistook Twisted Wonderland for a dating sim when its marketing materials first released, maybe due to a language barrier. This set them up for the wrong expectations about romancing and potentially “fixing” a villain, even when the game finally came out (due to residual feelings; I know for a fact there are still a handful of fans who want TWST to have a dating sim spinoff or wish the game had been a dating sim from the start).

Changes made in the localization.

I’m not sure what the ratio of westerners playing EN to JP, but the official localization made several changes which “blunted” some details or changed the context of some characters’ stories. For example, Jamil is no longer a “servant” but an “employee”, Kalim is his “employer”, not “master”, and Jamil complains that his parents will be “so mad at him” when he is asked why he doesn’t rebel against the Asims whole the consequences are made much more explicit in JP (his family will be thrown out onto the streets). Cater, Floyd, and Idia have also notably gotten a lot more memey dialogue that was not there in the original. These softened versions the characters may make western fans more likely to see the a less severe backstory or have goofier interpretation of certain characters.

Popular western media’s interpretations of villains. A lot of western media nowadays tries to redeem the bad guys. For example, in many young adult and adult romance fantasy novels, the love interest is often presented as a misunderstood bad boy that has a change of heart because of the protagonist. Disney themselves is also guilty of “softening” many of their more recent villains and giving new backstories to older villains to make them more sympathetic (Maleficent, Cruella, etc). Compare this to “classic” era Disney villains, who are just evil for the sake of being evil. These will naturally inform the general public’s views on villains. (It is also to be noted that Disney villains and specifically their evilness are extremely popular in Japan. They are adored for being fun characters, not necessarily admired for being bad.)

Disney’s reputation, especially in the west. The company is closely associated with fairy tales —and, more importantly, with magic and happy endings. This, too, may contribute to western fans wanting to look on the “bright side” of things and wish for happy endings for characters that are, in fact, part of the Disney brand. The Disney message is perhaps strongest in the west due to having its origins there:

The age differences between the Japanese and the western fandoms. The western TWST fandom skews young overall whereas the Japanese TWST fandom is older (which is why a lot of TWST merch you’ll see is expensive household goods and fashion; this is to appeal to working Japanese women). As I mentioned in the previous point, this means younger audiences in the west may mostly encounter media which presents villains in a more sympathetic light, or at least much earlier (which leaves a stronger impression). This makes them more inclined to view other media in a way which is more flattering for the villains even when they are dark or morally ambiguous in canon.

Younger fans may also be not as informed and thus lack some perspective, which means they may have more limited views. A 15 year old wouldn’t have as much life experience as a 20 year old—that’s not a bad thing, it’s an objective truth that has an impact on their perspective. They may see things more simplistically or see easier solutions to complex problems. Younger fans may, for example, be able to identify circumstances as being traumatic or unfair (such as the case with Jamil’s past and Leona’s desire to introduce new technologies to his home country) but may not understand the full ramifications (ie why Jamil cannot just leave or have Kalim to speak with his dad about it, how difficult Leona’s plans would be to implement as well as the social pushback due to the harm the advances could pose to the environment). This leads to more of a lean to positive content, as dark content would inherently mean problems are much more difficult to resolve and have more factors to them than what was originally considered.

I want to also point out that younger fans are especially concerned with what their peers may think of them, and so they may feel too embarrassed to dabble in darker content. Some dark content may also not be perceived as appropriate depending on the fan’s age. Alternatively, some fans may just not feel comfortable exploring those ideas (and that’s totally fine!).

Western fans project onto/relate to the characters they love. I’m not saying that Japanese fans don’t do this, but I feel like western fans tend to do this to a VERY strong and sometimes parasocial degree (which has its roots in comfort character and kinning culture, things which largely do not exist in east Asian fandoms). Like… western fans can relate to a character so deeply that any criticism of that character can feel like a personal attack on them, the fan. Likewise, if that character is presented as having flaws or doing questionable things (even if it is canon), the fans that are strongly projecting onto the character may feel that they themselves are flawed or somehow “bad” too. This can lead into trying to defend or justify the character’s flaws or actions. Maybe a fan that has shared trauma with a character sees them as a proxy and want to see the character (and thus, themselves) in a positive way or in good situations. In eastern fandoms, it is more appropriate to consider the character a separate entity rather than relating to or projecting onto them.

The western rise in moral justification for the content one consumes. This is a big one, and it has been alluded to in some of the other points. There is this belief circulating in western fandom spaces that “the content you consume reflects your real world values and morals”. So… if you believe that (or are in a social space where it is believed) and happen to like evil or morally grey characters, what does that imply about your own character? Does that mean you are morally bankrupt or that you condone bad things? Personally, I don’t think so but I understand why this way of thinking could make people feel ashamed. They may avoid looking at “dark” interpretations of a character and instead focus on wholesome feel-good content so that the content they consume reflects “well” on themselves. In other cases, fans may try to twist the bad points of a character to make it “morally okay” to like them.

That’s everything I could come up with off the top of my head!! I hope this was interesting to read and maybe helped you see the international TWST fandom from a new perspective. With that, I’ll leave you with this relevant Wreck-It Ralph quote: “I’m bad, and that’s good. I will never be good, and that’s not bad. There’s no one I’d rather be than me.”

#twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland en #twst en #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #notes from the writing raven #question

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