#niki lauda x oc

[profeyandere]

𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐈 𝐋. ─── ☾ 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅

Masterlist || Daniel Brühl Masterlist || Wattpad

Word Count: 3.7k

Warning: Mentions of anxiety attacks, taunts, nervousness, mentions of an accident, mentions of burns, mentions of operations.

Pairing: Niki Lauda x Reader

English is not my native language, so I apologize for any mistake and if you can help me improve it, I will greatly appreciate it. I hope you enjoy it :D

Niki was aware that he had been the most recognized driver of the season, something that he did not doubt at the beginning of the season due to his victory the previous year and his championship title. Many were going to praise him for his superb racing performance, but by 1976, he had been recognized for something other than his superb and slightly careful driving, having stood out among the other competitors for always being mindful of the risks involved each race would carry with it a certain amount of danger, or they could have even named him in various magazines over the months to talk about his rivalry with James, being a topic that was talked about a lot during conferences, or even his way of being so surly with the rest of the participants in the race, being nicknamed in different ways for this. But this time, it was for various reasons that publicists and distinct media tried to get an interview with the well-known Formula 1 driver, and it's not like you'd have to be smart enough to know why. You only had to see Niki, his physique, and the reasons why the man was now being so valued after the competition had ended was summed up by seeing his face. The Austrian knew that he had never been considered the most graceful man on the entire planet, not even in Europe or Austria, but he had enough confidence in himself not to give importance to the comments of his fans, and those who were not so much, and it did not depend in any sense on public opinion; if that had been the case, it is most likely that he would have already gone into depression due to the number of fans of the sport who insulted him for being the rival of another runner or for his very different personality compared to other pilots. The bad thing happened with that happy accident that changed his life so radically, with which he almost lost it due to the great pride that prevented him from withdrawing from the race before the catastrophe happened, merely guided by the desire to shut up James Hunt, and to those who had suggested that he was a coward for simply wanting to cancel the race due to the dire conditions in which the German track was found after the heavy rain that was suffering that first day of August. That same thing caused not only his life to have been hanging by a thread, even the fact that he could have left the good woman who had become his friend and who had accompanied him that day to encourage him in his career helpless, but also all confidence and self-esteem that he had vanished in the same way that the rain did when his car had gone up in flames. The Austrian not only had to deal with an intense recovery for five weeks while hoping to get back on the racetrack, but the shame that he would have to spend the rest of his life while people looked not at him, but at the grafts placed in some areas of his hands that were not so visible but were on his head and a large part of his face; somehow, many likened that transplanted skin to a strange meat mask, as if he were a human raccoon. It was a cruel joke, and Lauda knew that he had to get used to it as soon as possible, even if he wanted the majority of the world's population to focus more on his professional achievements or the masterful way in which he had managed to survive before on something so superficial as his new skin was or his appearance very similar to that of a bald rat; this last similarity, although it relieved the tension of many, further irritated the man in question who had suffered the accident.

He had only longed to silence the mouths of those who had always seen him as a coward, even more so after what happened, but he only received the occasional mockery, the incessant glances of the fans to see what was under his cap, the softer comments from his racing team, and the pity of those closest to him. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong, and in the great photo session to which he had been invited to be able to cover the latest Formula 1 book where everything that happened during the season would be mentioned, with several unpublished interviews from all the runners of the year with images of their respective cars and analysis of these and various graphics where a view of all the tracks in which they had participated would be offered with the position of each one of the participants, and various extra and curious data that could call the attention of the fans, is where the ineptitude of some of the high positions of the media was most appreciated. "Scheisse," the pilot muttered to himself as he tried to calm down, noticing how his right leg was trembling violently as a result of the nerves he was having at that precise moment, clenching his teeth to the point of thinking that if he exerted a little more pressure between them, it would end up breaking them.

If Niki's mind could already reach unimaginable speeds when he was on the race track while fighting for glory, in moments of nervousness and anxiety that very rarely reached him, it caused his mind to distort any element of reality and begin to imagine the worst possible scenarios. Niki hated with all his soul the anxiety that the accident had caused him. Many advised him to go to a mental health specialist, even if by then psychology was not classified as an exact science even though a part of it was medically and clinically oriented, but he supposed that it was unnecessary because he survived, he didn't understand what trauma the accident that hadn't already affected him could cause him, but when he began to feel his first wave of anxiety hit him after his first post-recovery race, he knew it wasn't going to be a one-shot thing time. The symptoms of the anxiety attacks returned to him suddenly with the discussion between him and the director of the magazine, the latter being the one who constantly insisted that Niki take off the red cap that always accompanied him, whether it was within the circuit of races or during interviews and even in his day to day if he was going to be seen in public. The fact that Lauda revealed his scars, his grafts, was something that everyone longed to see and, if the magazine had those very special images that everyone wanted to see, they were sure that finally someone else would want to buy it just to see because of the morbidity they caused injuries from your accident. That damned cap —Niki thought constantly— that damned accident had been what had destroyed his life, and people only wanted to have something from him because of the disgust or ridicule he could cause in others. In a moment of anger, completely irrational and driven by the stress that the situation had caused him, Niki forcefully grabbed his mythical red cap with small patches from his different sponsors and held it in his hands, being able to see in these the small scars of his operation and light skin graft due to how extreme his injuries had been in some other areas of his body. There were many emotions that he felt at once that finally caused an explosion inside him when, without even letting him think for a second about his actions, he angrily threw his cap towards the door of the small trailer that they had used to want to do some of his makeup. The already discovered areas of the grafts would impact the spectators even more, and they would be noticed as reddish or more reddish than they already were, being the place where he could also dress in what they had chosen for him, among which a suit stood out careers similar to his but not completely identical, while the other garments were rather mundane and unremarkable, darker and less conspicuous.

He saw in himself nothing more than a simple wrinkled raisin with huge teeth. If in itself he had caused laughter among the crowd due to his large incisors that made him look like a rat, being nicknamed "The Rat King" for this very reason, the fact that half of his face was covered by skin from other parts of his body and his head were still slightly wrapped on a few occasions by bandages to keep the area not so irritated by the friction of the cloth against the grafts had caused the laughter to multiply and now it was louder than ever.

"Mr. Lauda," a sweet and calm voice called him, your voice, one of the photographers who had witnessed the entire discussion with remarkable surprise while ignoring her boss's instructions to take pictures of him unsuspectingly while trying to remove his cap. Niki did not want to see anyone, much less someone belonging to the team of that moron who was in charge of that important magazine, even if you had refused to ridicule him like some of those present, "They are waiting for you on the photography set. Well, more like me, who pays me for this, in addition to the lighting equipment, costumes, and makeup." Your shaky voice caught his attention, and when he finally turned his icy blue gaze on you, he could make out how you had an awkward half-smile that might once have amused him, but now it only made him feel strange as he I could make out how you nervously drummed your fingers on the camera that you held in your little hands. He had been received in the same way by other people, making sure that the eyes of his interlocutors always moved away from his irises and focused on other areas of his face; he was embarrassing and intimidating. "Tell your boss to put the photographs where they fit. I'm going to get out of here," he indicated sternly, seeing how your body seemed to stop its involuntary movement once your eyes seemed to rest on it intensely as if you were observing something fascinating or completely out of the ordinary. "What?" Niki didn't know why you didn't answer him, and it wasn't until he noticed that his cap was a few centimeters from your shoe that he was finally able to answer that question he had asked himself a few seconds ago. You were seeing him without a cap, you were witnessing something that he too much prevented the rest of the world from seeing, and that caused a feeling of weakness to run through his body whenever it happened.

Now, the roles had been reversed: You could judge him, and he had to shut up and endure your judgment of him. You witnessed the cold, distant look of the pilot turn to a fearful one, the same one you might see in a small child who has just witnessed the worst thing he could have imagined, or perhaps as a young boy who has just been discovered by his parents having found out that he had done something terrible; in either case, the feeling that Lauda was then transmitting was one of fear.

Your heart could not help but skip a beat because not only had the previous discussion brought the underlying feelings of everyone present to the surface, but you seemed to be one of the first people to have seen the physical state in which he was the driver after the big crash that shocked all fans of the sport; Just by remembering the images that your television had broadcast, you could notice how the hairs on your arm stood on end. There were mixed feelings, and in that caravan, Niki felt cornered and ashamed of having to deal with someone else's opinion, a smirk from another fan, or a derogatory comment from someone who thought he was a class jerk.

You acted in silence. You believed that the words were not necessary because perhaps he would end up misinterpreting them due to his state of nervousness and defense. You carefully bent down to pick up his cap, still holding your big professional camera in your other hand even though it was hanging from your neck by a strap, gently shaking the garment a little to remove any traces of dirt it had caught. As it fell to the ground, you approached the pilot to return it to him, placing it gently on the table in front of him next to your work object, smiling softly and kindly before taking a seat across from him in the old chair that he loved so much you had reused it during the last season; you had already made a mental note of changing it, you even swore you had mentioned it to one of the people in charge of the photo shoots, mainly because your butt was starting to hurt, and you had just sat down, so you did not want to imagine how the Austrian must feel in front of you or any of the other guests who had accepted this little job. By this point, while you were pondering the possibility that you might lose the shape of your ass, Niki had already put her cap back on, keeping her gaze on a different point in the room other than you. "I hope you don't consider leaving us here. He's an idiot, he's like that with everyone," you mentioned, being the first of the two to speak, showing your willingness to have a quiet conversation with him to address the issue that had led him to sit there, trying to run away from the gaze of other people. "If he thinks you have a flaw or something that he might get more people to buy the magazine, he'll do whatever it takes to show it, even if it's personal or makes the celebrity he's dealing with uncomfortable. I think he even once almost hid in the closet of this trailer just to get a picture of a Motocross rider so he could show the tattoo he had of his ex-girlfriend or something similar; when the guy in question found out, he almost sued us, and it didn't surprise me at all when we found out about it." Niki remained silent, watching you now as he tried to figure out the reason why you were still with him there. At that moment you wanted to be a fortune teller to find out what he was thinking or to have the power to disappear because you didn't think you could bear the Austrian's intense gaze for much longer. "I think he also made a pass like that to a woman he modeled for us, but I don't remember exactly what sport she was in," you muttered, trying to find a suitable topic of conversation, even if your mind wasn't quite sharp enough then to choose something in particular to make the tension between them vanish. But honestly, what conversation could arise between a racing driver and a photographer? Unless each other's respective fields were discussed, it was unlikely that anything genuine would come of that encounter. "I'd even swear something similar happened with Hunt, but it was with his shirt, and he didn't have much qualms about taking it off either, honestly," you continued, turning your gaze back to him when you realized how you seemed to have gotten so involved in your world that you hadn't even noticed how you had started to ramble, finally realizing that his intense gaze was for you to shut up and leave him alone. "Sorry."

A sigh escaped from Niki's lips. You felt bad. Why would you say otherwise? You heard your boss ask him on several occasions in an amusing way to remove his cap, in a way that was too nice for what that stubborn man you worked for really was, always getting a slightly uncomfortable but negative response from the pilot as he tried to keep a bit of composure in each of the photographs for which he was modeling until finally, you could distinguish during your short break a loud voice coming from the Austrian that surprised the entire production team. His thick Austrian accent stood out among the quieter English voices engaged in various conversations across the length and breadth of the set, and soon, the two men had found themselves surrounded by all the makeup, lighting, and set equipment as they tried to understand what was happening, barely being able to make out the words of the men who were shouting at the top of their lungs. Everything happened while Niki was talking calmly with your boss, the latter being the one who begged him more and more insistently to take off his cap so he could see his bandages and burns next to his grafts while a couple of your photography colleagues were they approached on the orders of the man who paid you intending to obtain something more than the rigid body of the Austrian as a cover photo; no, your boss wanted more and was eager to get it. In short, the rest did not need to be explained. Niki got pissed off, your boss started yelling at him, and the pilot couldn't find a safer place to be than in the trailer looking for a place to calm down before he got back in his car and got the hell out of there. In an act of empathy? You didn't even know if you could call it that, you placed your hand on the fabric of the shirt that covered your shoulder, gently caressing it while you felt the soft brush of the fabric against your soft skin and lacking the orange hue of your light natural tan. You frowned gently as you tried to stop your hand, it didn't seem to respond to your commands by itself, but you gently held the collar of your shirt so you could show him the graft that you also had, the product of a freak accident that in your time you tormented for having provoked, in some way trying to show him that he was not completely alone in that fight against what others might think or simply to make him see that that situation of anxiety and nervousness, lack of self-esteem and self-confidence, had no to suffer all alone. The look full of surprise from him captivated you.

His opaque blue eyes, barely visible thanks to the bill of his cap, seemed to shine with intensity when they found that part of your shoulder that was paler than the rest, distinguishing the places where the suture had joined a certain part of your healthy skin with the transplanted from another area of his body; That image reminded him of the same marks that he had suffered from seeing every time he looked in the mirror or when he saw his own hands. "It was a few years ago, quite a few to tell the truth," you indicated, smiling softly at him while you made sure of how your image seemed to have blocked him. "I was young and crazy, and I said to myself, why not play kitchen while the beans are cooking? I put my feet up on the little low bars that surrounded the kitchen and tipped over the entire pot of burning beans. They not only affected my shoulder but also my neck and head area a bit." Niki couldn't help but gently tilt her head to the left side, watching you part your hair from the side of your head a little to show him the small skin grafts in those already healed and lightly covered areas. He didn't understand how he hadn't noticed before. "Young?" He asked, being the only word you could hear coming from between his parted lips separated by his largest incisors, watching how he licked his slightly drier upper lip.

"At eighteen years old," you answered, suddenly hearing a strange snort escape from Niki that caused your mouth to open in surprise and indignation as if you were somehow annoyed by the sound she had just emitted. "Don't laugh. I told you she was young!" You heard the snort again, causing you to cross your arms in indignation while one of your eyebrows rose slightly, waiting for him to stop. He would simply settle into his chair and gently adjust the cap on his head, leaning forward as he reached for your camera and began fiddling with it in your hands. "Yes, but I didn't expect an adult to really be as 'crazy' as you mentioned. What went through your head to do something so dangerous and stupid?" Questioned Niki while a smile, finally sincere, appeared on her face, insulting you along the way for free. But, after all, that was Niki. Sincere. "If I told you. I am a very crazy woman, Mr. Lauda. Don't push your luck with me." Soon Niki's caravan was involved in a large number of funny anecdotes and strange laughter that caught the attention of many magazine workers who were waiting impatiently for the pilot to come out.

Marlene, the Austrian pilot's best friend, had gone to the photo session to bring him the yogurts that he had asked for before leaving his house, appearing confused as she did not know where her dear friend was, encountering a strange scene that caused her heart to leap with joy because Niki was smiling and laughing in the same way he had done before the accident, and recognizing your person as the cause of those natural expressions caused a feeling of happiness. They will settle on her chest. She was happy because finally, Niki seemed to have started to love himself as he listened to all your stories about your burn and just had to see through that little round glass how his cap was now resting on the table that separated you while He was chatting animatedly with you. Marlene only hoped that the same person who was now next to the Austrian would understand that his bluish gaze full of curiosity was not just due to a few silly jokes or absurd situations, but because of a much deeper feeling that had to wait to emerge with overtime.

#niki lauda #niki #lauda #niki lauda x reader #niki lauda x you #niki lauda x oc #reader #you #oc #formula1 #formula 1 #f1 #daniel brühl #niki lauda imagines #daniel brühl imagines #rush #rush 2013

[totowlff]

chapter twenty-eight — what won’t you do for love

➝ the moment of truth has arrived for elisabeth and niki.

➝ word count: 4,4k

➝ warnings: none

➝ author notes: the most awaited chapter for you is here. i hope you are as excited as i am to find out what happens from now on.

AUGUST, 2016

Sitting inside the black Mercedes C-Class parked in her parents’ building Alsergrund, Elisabeth had been staring at the silver star emblem embedded in her steering wheel for more than five minutes already. She was sitting in complete silence. She took a deep breath and tried to push back the lump in her throat, and the tears that kept coming to her eyes. 

It was as if, every time she touched the car handle to open the door, some memory of the last 48 hours of her life came to mind, like a punch to the gut. She had no idea where it was coming from. 

After Toto accidentally posted photos of the two of them, there was no longer any point in running away. It was real, official, and out to the public. The mystery had been solved. Elisabeth Lauda was the newest conquest of the investor, entrepreneur, and notorious playboy Toto Wolff. That’s the way it was phrased on the cover of OE24, one of Austria’s main gossip tabloids. The words were printed along with an image of the two of them together from the IWC gala a few months ago.

Even worse than seeing her own face splashed over the cover of a magazine in a market near Stephensplatz, was the way people around her reacted when reading it. A mother and daughter in the next checkout lane had been reading the magazine while they were in line. Their expressions of disbelief when they saw the glamorous woman on the cover in a black dress and red lipstick was the same as the one in the pages of the magazine — bent over a dock tie in a black bikini, handing a shaved ice to a thirteen year old girl in a park, the woman standing next to them with her hair pulled back in a messy bun and oversized sweatshirt — it was all terrifying, to say the least. But even worse than that were the comments they made out loud, when Elisabeth was sure they couldn’t see her eavesdropping. 

— How is such a successful man with this stupid little girl? — the woman said, showing the magazine to her daughter. The girl nodded and laughed.

When she returned to the penthouse, Elisabeth set the bags down on top of the kitchen island and leaned back against the stone countertop, taking a deep breath. It was as if she'd gone back to VIS, reliving the hell her classmates had put her through. Only this time on an even bigger scale.

— Liesl? — Toto said, standing in the kitchen doorway.

— Yes — she replied, opening one of the bags and taking out their groceries. Her eyes were full of tears.

— Is everything okay?

Elisabeth took a deep breath, not daring to look back. She didn't want Toto to see her crying.

— Yes — she said softly, the tightness in her throat strangling her voice.

— Did something happen at the market?

The memory of the girl's laughter made a tear fall down her cheek. Elisabeth swiped her hand across her face, wiping it away.

— No, nothing happened.

She heard footsteps behind her, and suddenly, a pair of hands landed on her waist, making Elisabeth spin on her axis, causing her to meet Toto's dark eyes. Her bottom lip began to tremble, and a few seconds later, she collapsed in his arms, tears wetting the gray T-shirt he was wearing.

It was all too much for her. 

The sound of something vibrating brought Elisabeth back to reality. She looked around for her phone, finding it in the console to her right. The screen had turned on, with Toto's name in big letters, along with a picture she'd discreetly taken of him one night as he read something by the fireplace. She smiled as she answered the call.

— Hey, darling.

— Hi, Liesl. Have you talked to your father?

— Well… No. Not yet.

— But you left the house an hour ago.

She pursed her lips. She couldn't even use the traffic as an excuse, after all, it wasn't even close to rush hour.

— I've been driving around their neighborhood for a bit — she said quietly — Now I’m parked in front of their building. I’ve been here for about ten minutes.

— But, why?

— Trying to build up the courage, Toto. I have no idea what to expect from this conversation.

Toto sighed on the other end of the line.

— Elisabeth, you know you've put this conversation off too long.

— I know…

— And, you know that no matter what he says, I'll be on your side, right?

— You will?

Toto laughed.

— Of course, Liesl. Always — he replied, making a smile spread across her face — Now take a deep breath and go. I trust you, my love.

Feeling a little more confident, Elisabeth said goodbye to Toto and ended the call. She put her phone in her bag and took a deep breath as she got out of the car, walking toward the entrance of her parents’ building. She said hello to Timo, the building’s doorman, and got into the elevator. Her hand tightened on the strap of her purse as she reached out and pressed the button to take her to the penthouse. 

As she stepped out of the elevator and walked to the apartment door, she felt her throat tighten and her hands go cold. “There's no turning back, Elisabeth”, she thought, pressing the bell. A few seconds later, she heard footsteps and the doorknob turn. However, it was not her father who appeared, but two curious black noses.

— Hello, my boys — Elisabeth said, reaching down to pet Shivas and Felix, who were barking happily, jumping around her, sniffing her coat, and trying to lick her face. Then, she realized there was a pair of familiar brown loafers on the ground in front of her.

— Shivas, Felix, sit — Niki ordered the dogs, his voice cold and abrupt. The pair of retrievers, one of them a yellow golden and the other a black flat-coated, backed up, sitting next to Niki. However, their eyes remained glued to Elisabeth as stood up from where she’d been crouched on the ground — Hello, Elisabeth.

— Good afternoon, dad — she said softly. She looked into his eyes for the first time, blue, so similar, and yet, so different from hers. She was a bit startled by the coldness in them.

— Come in — he said, standing aside for his daughter to enter. Elisabeth took off her high-heeled shoes and walked past him, walking slowly into the living room, listening to her father close the door behind her. She heard the click of the dogs’ nails as they happily followed after her. 

Niki and Marlene's living room was decorated in light, neutral shades with touches of vibrant red and orange. The layout of the room was centered around the fireplace in the center of the room, with the furniture facing it. On the fireplace mantle, there was a shelf with framed photos featuring the entire family.

Among the pictures from her childhood with her brothers in Ibiza, and of Lenny holding his newborn brother, there was a photo that she thought looked a bit out of place on that shelf. It was a photo she didn't remember seeing the last time she'd visited her parents.

It was from the 2014 Constructors' Championship celebration at the Russian Grand Prix. In it, Elisabeth was standing between Niki and Toto, holding the Constructor’s Cup in her hands, completely soaked with champagne. All three of them had wide, genuine smiles on their faces. It was the same photo that Toto had framed and sitting on a shelf in the motorhome office. Every time she set foot in the office, she always glanced at it and felt the heaviness of her guilt building inside of her chest.

— Are you okay, Elisabeth? — Niki asked, standing behind her.

— Yes, I’m fine — she turned away, a shy smile on her lips — What about you, dad?

— I’m fine — he replied seriously as he sat down in one of the armchairs in the living room, with Felix settling at his feet. The dog heaved a long sigh. Niki pointed to the sofa — Sit down.

Elisabeth walked around the coffee table and settled into the spot he had pointed to. Shivas settled just beside her right leg, resting his head in her lap. She placed her bag between her left thigh and the arm of the sofa, and used her free hand to stroke the dog’s head.

Silence in the room stretched for a few seconds, the only sound that could be heard was the tick of a clock.

— Where is my mother? — Elisabeth said in an effort to break the tension, looking at her father.

— Went to see her grandchildren — Niki said, his expression serious — But I don’t think that you came all this way to see your mother, did you?

Elisabeth pressed her lips together.

— No — she said, her voice thin.

More silence, more of the clock’s ticking. Her heart pounded heavily in her chest, her hands icy.

— You have something to tell me, right? — her father said, reaching down with his right hand to pet Felix behind the ears.

She'd spent so many nights lying on Toto's chest, listening to his heartbeat and imagining what it would be like to tell Niki about her relationship. Elisabeth had thought of hundreds of approaches, dozens of ways to break the news, thousands of possible reactions he could have when he heard her say that the man she loved was just his friend.

— Well, I... No, we... Actually, I'm the one who wants to talk, since he's not here, but we...

— Who are you talking about? Who is the other person in this ‘we’?

Elisabeth blinked.

— Toto.

— Oh, I understand.

— Do you? — her heart filled with something akin to hope.

— Well, I understand that you and Toto want to tell me something.

— Yes, we do.

— And why isn't he here?

— I thought it would be better if I came alone.

— You did?

— Well, we did… The point is, I want to tell you something that I’ve been keeping with me, well, that we’ve been keeping…

— You mean hiding, Elisabeth? — he asked, his voice cold.

She pressed her lips together. The word was much more appropriate.

— Yes, dad.

— And what are you, or rather, were you hiding?

— We're dating — she said, abruptly — Toto and I, I mean. We are a couple.

It felt like everything in the room, even time itself, stopped. It was so quiet that Elisabeth was sure she could hear a needle drop to the floor. Her eyes were hyper-focused on Niki’s face, trying to read his expression, but she couldn’t discern any particular emotion. His gaze was fixed on the floor. Elisabeth started to grow uncomfortable as the seconds crawled by.

But then, Niki, patting the Flat-coated retriever's head affectionately, looked at Elisabeth and smiled.

— I already knew.

She swallowed hard.

— Mathias sent you the photo?

— Yes. And an almost two-minute audio clip saying that he was opposed to your relationship from the start, that you two were two irresponsible people who didn't give any thought to my feelings, and that he would be by my side to support me no matter what decision I made regarding your relationship.

Elisabeth lowered her gaze, looking at Shivas. The dog still had his head in her lap, looking up at her with big brown eyes. He stared at her for a few seconds before he sighed and closed his eyes again.

— Did you say anything to him? — she asked quietly, not able to meet Niki’s eyes.

— Of course. I told him to shut up and mind his own business.

She jerked her head up and looked at Niki, her eyes going wide.

— Dad…

— Did you really think Mathias would have any bearing on my opinion on this matter, Elisabeth?

— I did, actually.

Niki laughed.

— I thought you knew me better, Mauslein.

Seeing him laughing didn't bring the relief she'd hoped for. In fact, it made her even more nervous

— Aren't you upset with me? — Elisabeth asked, quietly.

He answered her question with another question.

— Why would I be?

— Well, you always say Toto is a friend. You've never called anyone else that, as far as I know. And I’m dating someone that is that close to you…

Her father leaned back in his chair, pulling the hand that was stroking Felix's dark fur into his lap.

— Elisabeth, do you remember what I said that night at that dinner?

— Which dinner?

— The first dinner we had after making the Mercedes investment. The one where I introduced you to Toto.

If her father had said anything after her eyes had first met Toto's, Elisabeth couldn't remember. All she could remember that night was the finger-combed hair, deep voice, and the charming smile of the man who'd spent the entirety of the meal talking to Niki. She was completely unable to recall what had been discussed or even what food was served that night, but she could remember exactly how many times Toto scrunched his nose as he smiled.

“Eight times”, Elisabeth thought to herself.

— Well, you said so much…

— I said that I knew you two would get along, because you liked the same boring things.

Hearing that phrase again brought Elisabeth back to that moment. She smiled shyly, trying to ignore the heat rising in her cheeks. She hadn’t expected her father to be as right as he had been.

— When I met Toto, back in 2009 — Niki continued — What struck me most about him, aside from his stupid idea of trying to do a sub-seven-minute lap in a GT car on the Nordschleife, was how much he reminded me of you.

— Me?

— You two are determined, stubborn, smart, and never leave the negotiating table without a deal. You are passionate about what you do, confident, and committed. Plus, you are the only two people I know who like apricot jam.

She smiled at the mention of the jam. She was the only one in the family who liked apricot jam and she always had some in her fridge. However, she knew very few people who shared her enjoyment of the tart and tangy preserves. However, during one of her first mornings in Toto’s penthouse, she opened the fridge in search of milk for her coffee, Elisabeth spotted a jar of it nestled amongst the other condiments inside.

— Thanks for buying me apricot jam, you didn't have to — she smiled, sitting down at the table and popping open the jar. Toto raised an eyebrow as he looked up from that day's edition of Der Standard in his hands.

— I didn't buy it for you.

The answer had taken her by surprise. With a slice of brioche cut in half and a little bit of the jam spread over it, Elisabeth stared at him.

— No? But…

— I like apricot jam — he said — It’s especially good on croissants.

Elisabeth smiled.

— It really is — she replied, offering a slice of the brioche she'd just made to Toto. He took a generous bite, and ended up with his nose smeared with jam. It made Elisabeth burst out laughing as she tried to clean it with her fingers, only to smear more of it on his face. The memory of that morning made her smile.

— You should give it a chance, dad. It’s good.

— No, no — Niki said, with a smile — More for you, you know.

Looking at Niki for a few seconds, Elisabeth realized that much of the tension in the air had dissipated. However, there were still a few unanswered questions.

— Does that mean you…

— Knew you were interested in Toto and he was interested in you? Of course. Toto was never discreet with his feelings about you. He was very obvious, the way he looked at you, the way he talked about you. But you couldn’t hide it, either.

— Were we that obvious?

Niki sighed.

— Elisabeth, you've always been an open book to me. I always knew when you were hiding something.

— But I’ve never hid anything from you, dad. Well, not before this…

— Summer of 2002 — Niki cut her off — Remember, Mauslein?

“That summer is hard to forget”, she thought, pursing her lips. The family had gone to Ibiza at the end of August to enjoy the first days of the Spanish summer. However, that season was a little different than their previous trips to the island. Niki had invited Sarah, the ex-wife of James Hunt, as well as her two children, Tom and Freddie, to spend a few weeks at the Lauda family’s home.

Between walks on the beach, some riding and a kiss on a deserted beach, Elisabeth found herself living her first love with Freddie Hunt. It was a pure, simple feeling, driven by Freddie’s charm — he had definitely gotten it from his father. Things culminated in Elisabeth spending her first night with a boy.

After everyone else had gone to bed, Freddie left the guest room he was sharing with his brother and crept down the hall to her room. It was practically a habit of his during that two-week stay, after Mathias showed a bit of jealousy over the attention Freddie paid to his sister during the day.

But that night was different from the others. Elisabeth went to dinner wearing a short linen dress that left her tanned legs showing, and Freddie didn't even have time for Elisabeth to whisper good night before kissing her and leading her to her bed. Of course, that first night was nothing like the nights she spent with Toto. After all, she hadn't even had an orgasm before he came, sweaty and out of breath. However, it had been something special for her, especially given the affection with which he had treated her. It was the first time that Elisabeth had ever felt beautiful and desirable, and not like the ugly duckling. 

Their story didn't last long, in the end. Freddie had to return with his mother and brother to England. However, her night with the boy had remained a fond memory for Elisabeth. It was one of the few happy memories she had of her teenage years.

— What about the summer of 2002?

— Remember when we had Sarah and the Hunt boys over in Ibiza? I remember how close you and Freddie were.

— We were practically the same age, dad. It's natural.

— I think it's also natural to see him leave your room in the morning with his hair messed up and his shorts inside out — Niki retorted, with an impish smile. Elisabeth's eyes widened — He made the same face when he saw me in the hallway, his hand still on your doorknob. I remember saying just one thing to him before he headed for the stairs.

— What did you say? — she asked, dreading the answer.

— I asked if he wanted a cup of coffee, or if he'd already had the breakfast of champions.

Elisabeth brought a hand up to her face, shaking her head. Her face burned with embarrassment, even twenty years later.

— You didn't…

— I did — Niki said, laughing — The poor kid couldn't answer me. He just excused himself and ran to his room. He didn't look at me for the rest of the time they were in Ibiza, he said goodbye without even looking me in the eye. I think I traumatized the poor boy.

She laughed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She was still a bit embarrassed about it. Elisabeth definitely didn't expect her father to pay so much attention to her. After the laughter had died down and silence settled in the air, she had the courage to look up at Niki again.

— So, did you always know? I mean, about me and Toto…

— Always? No, that’s a strong word. I suspected at first that there was a mutual interest. But then he showed up with that French model… Aurélie, was it? And I could see that you weren’t as close as I thought. But after you left during that Grand Prix weekend in Monaco, he didn’t go a day without asking about you — her father said — That was, until we won the Constructors’ title in 2014. You two were the only ones to not show up for the team dinner. I even thought about stopping by your rooms to check if you were all right, but I suspected that you were busy.

She had no idea what to say to that. 

— Then, in Melbourne last year, I realized for sure you were together. I was coming back from having dinner with Lewis and decided to stop by Toto's room. For one thing, he took five minutes to open the door, and answered it wearing a bathrobe that was too small for him. I thought I was going to get a free show for a few minutes. Once I stepped inside, I saw that there was something on the bed, almost hidden under the sheets. It was your phone.

— How did you know it was mine?

— Do you know anyone else who has a fluorescent turquoise phone case, Elisabeth?

Pursing her lips, she looked down to see Shivas was dozing in her lap, his back moving slightly with his quiet breathing. She never wanted to trade places with a dog more  than she did right now: no problems, no worries, just sleeping peacefully and thinking about the next meal.

— You mean that…

— I knew it was you and what you were doing before I even saw the panties under the chair. Actually, that’s why I told him to use protection.

— But…

— Elisabeth, did you really think I would care if I didn't know you were the one having sex with him?

She blinked.

Silence filled the room again.

— Well, the point is that I’ve known for a long time that you were together — Niki spoke again — But there's something I still can't understand, Mauslein. Why didn't you tell me before?

— Dad…

— I always made it clear that you could tell me anything, that I trusted you and that you could trust me.

— I know…

— Did I say something that discouraged you at some point?

— No, dad. It was just the opposite.

— What do you mean by that?

She sighed.

— I spent a lot of time denying myself the chance to feel anything for Toto. I was afraid to feel something, actually. I was afraid of being vulnerable, of the pain that came with it. But my heart was a bit more stubborn than my head. It hurt me much more to resist it than to accept that he felt the same way I did.

— Mauslein…

— And I hesitated. I kept almost telling him how I felt, but I couldn’t ever bring myself to do it. And then, I remembered what you said on that flight to Bahrain after Lenny was born. You told me not to deny myself the chance to be happy. And I found mine in that man.

Niki's lips curved slightly.

— He's sensitive, understanding, intelligent and funny. Toto complements and completes me in a way that no other person ever has. We have the same ambitions, the same dreams, the same goals. I look at him and I see my future. He’s my best friend, my boyfriend, the future father of my children, my partner in crime. I love him, dad. I love him and am willing to fight with him, and fight for him.

As Elisabeth spoke, she felt something hot run down her face. A tear. She ran a hand quickly over her face, lowering her head, trying to hide her emotions. She had never stopped to reflect on the extent of her feelings for Toto. It was a completely different love than she felt for her parents, siblings or nephews. It wasn't something almost natural, but rather, a feeling that had grown inside her chest until it was too big to just be inside her.

— You know how I feel about this, Elisabeth — Niki said, his tone serious. Looking up at her father, she swallowed — I just want to see you happy, my daughter. I want to see you smiling, happy. And I can see that Toto is capable of leaving you just like that.

— You mean that…

— If you need my blessing or any of that bullshit to make you feel at ease, know that you both have had it from minute one. I trust Toto to be by your side, and I trust you for following your heart.

More tears streamed down Elisabeth's face.

They were tears of relief. Tears of happiness.

— I don't think you'll ever learn that you can't cry in front of me, otherwise I'll start crying — Niki muttered, getting up from his chair — Come here, Mauslein.

Lifting herself gently so as not to disturb the still-sleeping Shivas, Elisabeth rose from the sofa and let herself be enfolded in her father's arms, nestling her head in the crook of his neck. Feeling his hand caress the back of her head, she felt like a child again, being comforted by her father after her brothers had excluded her from some play or after some misadventure at school.

That was one of her safe places. It always would be, as long as she lived.

Lifting her head slightly, Elisabeth chuckled as Niki placed a kiss on her forehead, the same way she had when she was little, running the tips of his calloused fingers, which had gripped the hard steering wheels of the cars he’d driven over the years, over his daughter’s cheeks.

— I thought you realized I was happy for you when you looked at the pictures over the fireplace, Mauslein — her father muttered.

She turned to look at the pictures on the mantle and the 2014 title celebration photo seemed to stand out among the sandcastles and toothless smiles. It was the last detail that was missing for her to realize that this was no longer one of the scenarios she had made up in her head.

— You put that picture there…

— Well, we have pictures of Mathias with Claire, we needed one of you and your partner. I found this one very adequate, but we can change it. You probably have taken better ones since then.

— Is that your way of saying he's family?

Niki smiled.

— Yes, Mauslein. Toto is part of our family now. I can’t wait to call him my son-in-law.

#toto wolff #niki lauda #formula 1 fic #formula 1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #wlffog #natsversion #f1 x oc #formula 1 x oc #toto wolff x oc #scwlff

[love-wiiidow]

Beautiful Girl-Charles Leclerc x Bianchi!OC

warnings: cursing, fluff, angst, friends to enemies to lovers, death, depression, smut, age gap (charles is 26, coco is 22)

summary: when corinne bianchi loses her older brother, the only person she can count on is charles. until she can’t.

authors note: happy birthday jules!

previous—next

my charles playlist—here

Coco was excelling in a kart.

Almost every single race was won; and if it wasn’t won she was standing on the podium.

Jules loved watching his little sister participate in the sport that meant so much to his family.

The boy was currently in Formula Renault 2.0, and was on track to winning the championship.

Coco would not be more proud of her older brother.

At school, the only thing she talked about was how her brother was in Formula Renault 2.0, and how he was so close to winning the championship.

She never failed to bring up Charles either.

“Saviez-vous que le grand frère d'Arthur vient de remporter un titre à Monaco did you know that Arthur’s big brother just won a title in Monaco?” Coco bragged as she sat at a table in school, Arthur sat next to her.

“Why do you care about cars so much?” A kid asked, and Coco and Arthur looked at each other with smirks on their faces.

“Because we’re going to be Formula One drivers some day.”

Coco was dead-set on being a Formula One driver.

She had no other backup plan.

She also knew that she wanted to drive for Ferrari.

Either next to her brother, Charles, or Arthur.

“Jules, are you going to race for Ferrari?” The young girl asked her brother one night as he was tucking her in.

“I hope so, mon ange my Angel.” He said as he placed her Ferrari themed teddy bear on her chest.

“When I race for Ferrari I want to either race next to you, Charles, or Arthur!” She smiled. “And I want to be world champion!”

Jules was always far too nice and loving to his little sister, and just let her dream when it came to being an F1 driver.

He knew it would be harder for her compared to Charles or Arthur simply because of her gender, and he really wished it didn’t have to be that way.

The young girl had posters of her F1 idols on the walls.

Michael Schumacher, Ayrton Senna, Niki Lauda, and most importantly, Maria Teresa de Filippis.

Maria Teresa was an Italian racing driver, and the first woman to race in an F1 World Championship.

She scored no championship points, but Coco still aspired to be like her.

“Jules, je veux etre comme elle I want to be like her.” Coco smiled at the poster of Maria Teresa that was above her dresser.

“I know you do, Coco.” Jules smiled. “You’ve got to go to bed to be rested for our important day tomorrow.”

Coco snuggled up into her bed and prepared for Jules to sing to her.

“Close your eyes, have no fear. The monsters gone, he’s on the run, and your brothers here.” Jules softly sang as Coco closed her eyes. “Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, girl.”

Coco and Arthur were almost 7 years old, and were sat in the Leclercs living room.

Arthur had seemed sad for the entire day, and Coco wouldn’t seem to figure out why.

“Arthur, are you okay?” She asked him once again as they sat on the couch next to each other.

“I have to quit racing.” He pouted and her jaw dropped.

“What?” She gasped.

“My parents can’t afford both Charles and I.” He huffed. “They picked him over me.”

“I cannot believe this!” The young girl threw up her hands. “My family can pay for you, I’m sure of it!”

“No, Coco, it’s okay, really.” Arthur protested. “Just a bit bummed, is all.”

The girl closed her mouth and looked at her “twin” feeling the sadness radiating off of him.

“I’m sorry, Arthur.” She pouted with him, leaning forward and giving him a hug. “I’ll win all my races just for you now.”

“Thank you.” He smiled.

And that’s exactly what Coco did.

Every. Single. Race.

The collection of trophies in the Bianchi household was enormous.

Jules had just won the 2007 Formula Renault 2.0 championship, and Coco had just won her karting championship, so the display case was well furnished.

Charles had been watching Coco dominate the track.

He had accompanied the Bianchis to every race he could attend, and would cheer loudly for the girl when she inevitably crossed the line in P1.

He was there for her championship deciding race as well, and cheered as loud (if not louder) than Jules.

“TU L'AS FAIT! you did it!” Charles screamed as Coco came barrelling off of the podium and into the arms of her brother.

“JE L'AI FAIT! i did it!” She screamed, pumping her fist and her trophy in the air.

Her father carefully took the trophy from her hands since since he didn’t trust that she wouldn’t break it.

After hugging Jules for a significant amount of time, Coco moved onto Charles.

She hugged him like her life depended on it, squeezing him as the almost 10 year old lifted her off of the ground.

A loud laugh came out of her mouth, nothing but joy radiating from the group.

After Charles, she moved into Arthur.

“For you.” She smiled, hugging him.

“For us.” He smiled back.

As the years passed by, Cocos talent shocked every one she came in contact with.

Including the big guys.

#charles lecrelc #charles leclerc #formula 1 #max verstappen #jules bianchi #arthur leclerc #it girl #racing #idol #michael schumacher #niki lauda #ayrton senna

[blorbocedes]

For prev anon,

here are a few fics ft. reader/OCs that I found really compelling! These are all mostly AO3

Dodging the Heat series by Zephoria https://archiveofourown.org/series/1037364 Sebastian Vettel / teammate+rival+all around badass OC CANNOT recommend this series enough. It reads fanfic-y but the premise and tropes are VERY well done. The MC is a bit of an idiot but a lovable idiot. This is how I got into F1blr as a whole and I've reread this series so many times.... guilty pleasure. A+

Snapshot in the fast lane by f1yogurt https://archiveofourown.org/works/40419831 Niki Lauda / photographer OC It's pretty new but the prose is very good. Author knows what they're doing. They've captured the essence of that time period and ARE doing great so far.

Lifeline by lacellak (Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/story/25744801-lifeline-sebastian-vettel Sebastian Vettel / Oc who takes over from her brother heikki from 2014 Okay I hate wattpad as much as the next person but this fic is an absolute GEM and everyone should read this just to show how well Wattpad can be used. The prose is clean, the idea works incredibly well and the tropes are hilarious. My only complaint is that in-universe hanna (not actually hanna but kinda similar) is kinda evil but overall a great read.

1 and 3 do contain some steamy scenes (the hate sex in 1 is something else) but if you're more inclined to the steamier side of F1 then hit me up on DMs or asks <33

NIKI LAUDA??? ok I'm gonna go read that I'm so intrigued

also I definitely trust OP's taste so once again, pinging the anon who was looking for reader x driver this one is for you!!! and if you find something you like, don't hesitate to contact OP

I don't know how I became the driver x reader recommendation hub but I don't hate it as long as someone finds something new that they enjoy ^-^

#blorbocedes ask #f1 driver x reader #driver x reader #fic recs #tagging so y'all's blocklists work don't come yell at me #seriously niki lauda x a photographer... wtf that should be me... 😔 #there are some gems on wattpad... now lost to time... elle matthews taming mr playboy you will always be famous

[lorna-d-m]

Lorna's Library

About Me

Hi! My name is Lorna (she/her), I'm 22, and a college student in the U.S. I got on the Daniel Brühl to F1 pipeline this year and needed someplace to geek out, so I started this blog! Both Lights Out and The Bloody Baron are complete, and I am currently working on Open House! My next project is Still Dark Heart. Head cannons and requests are currently open, and I love questions, comments, or general chatting! My F1 sideblog is @formulalorna

I also cross post my fics on AO3 with the username lorna_d_m102 (link here)

Tag List Form (link here)

Lights Out

Series (completed 99.8K words) AO3 Link here

Pairing: Niki Lauda x fem!OC (Roxanne Hunt)

Summary: Roxanne, recently graduated and unemployed, gets a call from her childhood friend and hero: her cousin James Hunt. In need of a social media manager after one too many scandals, he can think of no one better than Roxanne for the position. Excited about a fun job and getting to know more about her cousin, she jumps at the chance. However, amongst all the bright lights of both the circuit and the media, Roxanne falls in love with his rival: Niki Lauda.

Away We Go

One-shot collection (ongoing) AO3 Link here

Pairing: Niki Lauda x fem!OC (Roxanne)

Summary: It's lights out and away we go! Just because the 2021 season has ended doesn't mean it's the end for Niki and Rox's antics.

The Bloody Baron

Series (completed 68k words) AO3 Link here

Pairing: Helmut Zemo x Fem!OC (Mary Spencer)

Summary: Captain Zemo roams the high seas thirsting for revenge, and instead, he stumbles upon the shipwrecked and left for dead Mary Spencer. As the sole survivor, Captain Zemo takes her aboard his ship, the Bloody Baron. Engaged to an English Admiral, Mary Spencer wants nothing more than to return home and live the life she was born for. That is, of course, until she realizes what life can be aboard the Bloody Baron with the Captain himself.

High Seas

One-shot collection (ongoing) ao3 link here

Pairing: Helmut Zemo xfem!OC (Mary)

Summary: After Helmut Zemo's revenge, there are still plenty of adventures for him and Mary on the high seas!

Innuendo Prompts Request (link here)

Open House

Series (ongoing)

Pairing: Laszlo Kreizler x fem!OC (Alice Greene)

Summary: Professor Laszlo Kreizler is a workaholic. Between teaching university courses, running the Kreizler Institute, and minding Stevie -his ward-, he does not have time for relationships. That is until he meets Ms. Greene, Stevie's English teacher, at open house. Can he open his heart to the possibility of love?

After Hours

One shot collection (ongoing)

Pairing: Laszlo Kreizler x fem!oc (Alice Greene)

Summary: During and after the events of Open House, there's plenty more to see after hours!

Drabbles & Notes

I may not have the time to write, but I have plenty of notes and ideas saved! This is where I will keep those that I want to share before I write them! They may be notes about upcoming fics or one shots ideas.

Still Dark Heart

Series (upcoming)

Pairing: Helmut Zemo x fem!oc

Summary: A baron harboring a dark secret. A village girl who dreams of adventure. It’s a tale as old as time, but with a twist. Maude seeks shelter in an abandoned castle to find Helmut Zemo: dazzling and puzzling. However, not everything is as it appears. Will love make their hearts beat, or is his heart still?

Formula 1

I've created an F1 sideblog (@formulalorna) but many of my old posts on this blog can be found by searching the drivers', race, or f1 tag!

#daniel brühl #rush 2013 #niki lauda rush 2013 #daniel brühl niki lauda #niki lauda fanfiction #rush 2013 fanfic #niki lauda smut #niki lauda x oc #niki lauda x reader #helmut zemo x reader #helmut zemo x oc #baron helmut zemo #helmut zemo #baron zemo #zemo fanfic #zemo smut

[ay0nha]

The Race That Launched A Thousand Ships: Part 6/?

(Working) Summary & Title: Niki Lauda, the rookie starting his   career requests the help of a mechanic,  Margot Lancaster who has a buried past that he’s seemed to uncovered.  

Pairing: Niki Lauda x femme!OC (mechanic)

Word Count: ~4K

A/N: UPDATED CHAPTER. Still a little rushed, but I don’t want to leave anyone hanging any more! Also, don't fight me, I used some lines from Grey's Anatomy. It's my comfort show. Hope you enjoy! Thank you.

Taglist: @scuttle-buttle @creme-bruhlee @hardlyinteresting @ginger-abreu  @livvyshmiv​ @eater-of-corn @apparrio @whatawildone @greeneyedblondie44 @fictionlandslanddreams​ @lieutenantn @linkpk88

Masterlist - Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

"You're nothing more than a grid girl."

I hummed as I continued my work, not bothering to ignore my incessant colleague anymore, "If you're going to insult me, at least sound like you mean it. Try again."

"What do you even know about a car? You're butchering it."

"Oh? You too now?" I didn't bother looking up as I heard another join in, "More the merrier."

"I suggest you watch the way you talk to us."

"Or what?" I questioned with a slightly bored tone, pulling out the parts they had just put in for added instigation. I had decided only moments ago to voice my thoughts as they came after weeks of comments being made just loud enough for me to hear. It was always under the breath, in passing, or to each other within earshot just so I could know how the men I worked with felt with having me in charge this season around. So now, when I was met with a staggering silence, I only pushed further, "Another tip boys, if you're going to threaten someone at least have the decency to follow through.

"Listen here -

"I'm all ears."

"You better watch yourself," He said yet another unoriginal threat, trying to grasp at anything to rattle me. Then he dared to say the one thing that was a guarantee to truly piss me off,  "Niki won't be able to protect you forever."

This was exactly what I wanted to avoid. My back was still turned to them. I  picked up my tools and used the towel from my waistband to clean them,  placing them aside one by one, taking my time counting to ten as an attempt to calm down. I looked up at the ceiling hoping there would be some type of explanation written to as why these men were  are moronic as they were. Stretching my neck slightly on each side, I   turned around to face the so-called hotshots. However, once I got to ten I realized there was only one thing that could be done.

"Fine, can you please help me then?" I pretended dully.

He gave a little scoff, then a look to his friend for reassurance. He rubbed his chin slightly, before throwing up a hand as if saying what the hell, taking a few steps toward me. Before anyone could stop me, or even realize what I was doing, my fist made contact with the man's nose eliciting a satisfying crunch and hiss of pain from me as I  pulled back sharply. The room erupted almost immediately, everyone going to the aid of the man now on the floor in shock.

"You bitch!"

"Get up," I said lowly.

Despite  my calm stature, I was  getting ready to deliver another blow if  needed. The rest could see this  and sprung forward to hold me back just  in case I decided to bolt  forward again. There were about five  different languages going on around  me, but I knew everyone understood  what my intentions were. I didn't  fight the arms that were holding me  back because I was satisfied by  getting at least one hit in. One that  caused the man to stay huddled on  the ground with a small group around  him to help him up.

However, their grips slackened when Niki came storming in shouting, "What is this?"

"She attacked me!"

I  couldn't help but roll my eyes. Everyone  was calm again, using the  silence as a coping mechanism to Niki's anger.  All hands were to   themselves at this point and I had even taken a seat,  waiting for the   long-winded lecture we were probably going to receive  from Niki.   However, the man who I never bothered to learn the name of  was still   recovering from my blow, now stood in front of me with an  accusatory   finger pointed into my chest. Within seconds, like  rapid-fire, we were back at each other's throats. As we  began to squabble again,  Niki became the physical barrier between us as  we spat at each other.  At this point, I'm sure my words weren't coherent  just fueled by months   worth of pent-up anger.

"Enough!"

I could feel the steam coming out through my ears at Niki's words, "I don't need you-

"Go wait outside!" He bellowed, practically pushing me towards the door. I had finally seen his eyes and recognized the fire in them.

As  I walked out he kept the same volume, yelling in German to the   rest of  the people. Although my feet carried me forward I wanted nothing  more  but to run back in there and really let loose. But I knew better. I  was  content that I got my point across one way or another. However, I   hadn't felt done yet as I sat down on the curb, waiting for Niki to come   out. I wanted to leave, but the desire to wait for him exceeded that,   and that in itself infuriated me beyond belief.

It didn't take much longer for Niki to come striding out with the same force as he just had, "What was that!"

"Nothing I couldn't handle," I looked up at him fiercely, but somewhat level-headed. I had almost reveled in the fact he was having this type of reaction.

"Clearly you could not handle that."

"It was under control."

"Under control?" He was now yelling, one hand on his hip while the other gestured violently in the air, "You have broken that man's nose."

"What? " I looked at him, taking in his serious expression, understanding what he wanted me to do, "...You're not asking me to apologize, are you?"

He  gave me a slight look that said yes.  I blew a raspberry at him, which  he didn't appreciate, but there was no way in hell I would   apologize  for my actions.  

"I can't have you-" He stopped for a moment,  looking at my face debating on how to follow, ultimately correcting himself, "Can't have your hands be  indisposed. The  car-

"Right, the car," I almost spat,  getting up to leave   altogether, but Niki grabbed my elbow, forcing me  back to him. But   especially back to finish the conversation.  

He  looked at me for a moment, then let go to look down at my   reddening  hand.  He glanced at me then to the side a couple of times   before  settling, his expression softening briefly as he asked me, "Are you  alright?"

"I want to go home," I pulled my arm back and crossed my arms.

He nodded his head yet again, "Take the rest of the evening off."

"No, home, I want to go back to London."

"Margot-

"No," I seethed, shutting him up, "You don't get to try to understand what it's like to be the only woman on a team full of men." He  was taken aback by my statement, but I only continued, "Men who  think I  can't do what they do. Because I'm a woman, I have to give an   explanation as to why I know these things. Because when you're a woman   you can't just know and God forbid I can do something better than them on my own!" I let out a bitter laugh. Then, pushing his   shoulder slightly I said, "You have to be connected to a man. Don't you   get that?"

He knew better than to answer. I was deliberate with  my words, taking  my time to really flesh out what I wanted to say.  There was zero urge  to cry, yell, or do anything but get my point  across.

"I'm tired, Niki. I'm really  tired. I don't have  the energy to  be shy, to be meek, to explain myself to you or anyone  else. I'm not  going to change the way I speak or hold myself just   because...just-

"Think about it, and I mean really think about it,"  I tapped the side  of my head for emphasis, "If I were a man talking  this way, acting this  way, I would go down in history for being that-  that son of a bitch  that you wish you one day could be. No, you strive to be.  If, if I were a man punching him we'd probably grab a beer in   an hour  and laugh about it. But what do I get? I get reduced to the bitch who got lucky enough to land a sucker punch on him. And, and over the years the story would change to that he let me hit him. He let me. Isn't that just so kind?"

"I will never be the bigger person because I shouldn't be expected to. I stand here doing my job minding my fucking business but I am still approached simply just because. I'm not going   to sugarcoat shit to protect a man's ego. I'm not willing to conform to what you think you want me to be."

It was silent. The only  thing that could be heard was my heavy   breathing and the annoying drip  of some pipe that needed fixing. I held  Niki's eye contact, refusing to  be the first to break. His expression  was blank and neutral which in  turn only pissed me off more. I wasn't  sure what reaction I wanted out  of him, but I wanted something. That fire in his eyes was gone.  

"Are you done?"

"Walk away before I hit you too," I hadn't missed a beat, it was like my mouth had  a mind of its own waiting for the perfect opportunity to say this to  him.

He started to walk away and once he was almost out of sight  so did I.  It hurt me a little that he hadn't chased after me, but it  fueled my  rage even more. I didn't have a destination in mind, I just  wanted to be  anywhere but here. After not making it very far, I heard a  soft hum of a  car pull up next to me. I knew exactly who and what it  was without  looking up. I continued to walk, but then there was nowhere   more for me  to walk. So I watched as Niki leaned over and opened the   passenger  side's car door.

"Get in the car," He spoke calmly, but firmly, "We're going for a drive."

I stared at him and he stared back. He couldn't possibly think I would get into the car after all of that.

"Please."

It  was the first time I had ever heard him say that word. I wanted to   strangle him, but I wanted to be close to him. I was angry, I was angry   at him, I was angry at the situation. I wanted nothing more than to be   away from here. So, before I gave myself a chance to say no, my hand   already reached for the door handle.

I was surprised I hadn't  burned through the car seat with the amount of anger that seeped through  my skin.  I  think he was uncomfortable with my anger. He could handle  it if it was  directed towards him, but when it was an overall upset, he  didn't know  what to do. So, to make it easier for both of us, I leaned  my head  against the window to watch the scenery go by.

He was  tapping on the gear stick as if he were thinking, each tap a new  thought that matched the gear he was in. It was starting to get on  my  nerves, but I knew if I started talking again, I'd start to regret  what  I'd say. So, I channeled my frustration into my own tapping. With  my  non-throbbing hand, I started to tap my knee. It only stopped when  Niki  had stopped it. He had taken my hand in his. He was toying with it  the  same way he toyed with tools when he was thinking. He was always thinking. But it seemed like his thinking had stopped.

He  kept one hand on the steering wheel while the top of his other   wormed  its way under my palm, effectively placing his hand on my knee.   Then  with our fingers slightly entwined, he placed them both onto the  gear  shift, as if he was teaching me how to drive manual. It was only  then I  tore my eyes from the scenery and looked down at our hands  blankly,  not quite registering what was happening. Then, my eyes floated  up to his  arm, until they landed on his side profile.

His eyes were trained  on the road like they always were, surveying   the plain, but he sent me  a fleeting look before repeating his   unanswered question from before,  "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I croaked out a whisper after I  made sure his eyes were back on the road. Looking down at our hands  again, I started to feel   that bubble of anger again. I went to pull my  hand away, but his fingers  flexed up to keep it in place.

"Did  he hurt you?" He glanced at me again, his voice quiet, which was  unlike  him. It was almost as if he was dreading my answer.

"No."

"Good," He secured his grip on my hand before shifting into a different gear.

After  some time passed, I let the weight of my hand completely relax  onto  his, becoming his second skin. We had driven far out into the   countryside and the sun was starting to set. I had no idea where we were   and I wasn't too sure Niki did either. Regardless, the drive   continued.  The winds of the roads acted as a cradle, rocking the   immediate tension  away.

But as life goes, we couldn't just  drive forever. Soon  enough, he pulled up to the hotel to let me out.  This time he let me  pull my hand away, but I had wished he kept it  there. I thought about  staying and keeping it there, but it was time  for this eventful night to  come to an end.

"Margot," He called for me as I stepped out of the car. His accent dripped off of my name like honey.  

"Niki,"  I turned around, looking through his now open window. I said  his name  like a warning, it was his turn to know better than to say  something  he'd regret to me because that would have been the last straw.  

"I know this," He pointed into the car, referencing our drive, "Doesn't solve the problem, but I...I hope it helps alleviate it."

"Goodnight, Niki."

"Goodnight, Margot."

---

"Good morning," Niki announced in a booming voice, gaining the   attention of everyone in the shop. I knew what was coming and I could   feel it in my gut that the once calm atmosphere would never be the same,  "Mr. Wagner is  no longer on our services,  so while we look  for a   replacement, I am  going to need everyone on their  toes."

In a very Niki-like manner, he expected his announcement to be all  and that everyone would follow suit no questions asked. However, this  statement this early in the morning caused a few eyebrows to raise.

"You fired him?" One person spoke up immediately,  "He was the best here!"

"He was a pig," Niki shrugged his crossed arms simply as if solving that man's gripe, "Any other questions?"

"It's because of her isn't it?" Another further insinuated, throwing his thumb back in reference to me, "She's the one who hit him."

"And  you?" Niki said taking a few steps forward, standing tall to  coming almost nose to nose with the man due to his  affront, "What did  you  do to help the situation?"

"What?" He scoffed, taking aback by Niki's response.

"Do you wish I repeat myself?" Niki practically seethed.

"It  was between them,"  Stepping down slightly the man only shrugged   trying  to backtrack before  things really turned sour, "That's all   that I'm  saying."

"Tell me this then," Niki put a finger into the air, it was a trap  for this poor man who was now in the jaws of the predator, "Should I  question your abilities the way you have done to her?"

"Enough, Niki," I interrupted him, getting annoyed by the whole thing, "I don't need you protecting me-

"I'm not," Niki was firm in his response, looking at me with the same firmness,  "You're suspended for the week."

"Niki, come on," The man tried to reason, but Niki's expression was unwavering, "Just suspend Wagner, we actually need him."

"Out," Niki jutted his thumb, already turning his back on the man and facing the rest of us, "Anyone else?"

"You can't go firing people because she came tattling crying to you-

"Out," Niki repeated himself and was ready to say it to whoever else said something next.

"For fuck's sake Niki," I openly complained hoping to diffuse the   situation, but my own anger overtook like a wildfire, "This power is  going to your head-

"Stop talking before you regret it too," Niki warned me slightly.

"May as well add on another week to my suspension," I challenged him,   thinking I was ready for whatever he could throw at me, but I needed to beat him to it "Better yet, I quit."

---

The witching hours were always kind to me. No one else was here because no one else wanted to be here. That's why I was jumping the fence with my toolbox to look over the car hours after people had left and hours before they would arrive. I tried hard to leave the nights events behind. I thought about getting drunk to really forget about them, but I couldn't sit still long enough. I needed to tinker, I needed to fix, I needed to see how those hooligans manhandled my work. I was quiet as I made my way into the garage. The emergency lights were on,  dim enough for me to make out a figure sleeping softly in the corner. I froze slightly, afraid it was a guard or perhaps a dead body, but once the thought passed and I got a closer look it was less than surprising.

Niki's body was slumped, the most relaxed I had seen it in this environment. He must have been exhausted to fall asleep in such  a place in such a vulnerable state. But it wouldn't last long now that I was here, he knew it was coming the moment he decided to stay here. I hit my foot against his, waking him up with a slight jolt. With a sharp intake of breath, he regained consciousness.

"Go home."

"I knew you'd come here," He said groggily, breathing out deeply and warmly, "However, I did not think it would be this late."

"Go. Home."

"Home for me is Austria," He looked at me intently, the dark circles under his eyes prominent in the yellow light. I knew he'd rather be sleeping now, but I also knew sleep couldn't find him with the way we had left things.  "In my hometown, Vienna, my family is famous for one thing, business," He spoke over me effortlessly, knowing I wasn't going to fight any further than I had to, "My grandfather was a businessman, my father, too. So when they heard I wanted to race cars for a living, they had a few things to say. I decided to risk everything."

"Was it worth the reward?"

"Absolutely." He didn't  stutter, but he took a thoughtful pause,  "We're both stuck here...In  this-this world. You of all people know once you enter, you don't truly  leave."

"I can leave whenever I want to."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"I-"  I looked at him as if he had the answer. It was repetitive at this   point, the cat and mouse game I was playing with myself. Telling myself that from the start I didn't want to to this, but continuing. I couldn't  even call it an ebb and flow, it was right in my face. I was lying to  everyone around me and lying to myself. I was here with a motive, one  that was clear as day, but one I struggled to even admit out loud, "To  prove a point."

"You say that," He held up his finger  characteristically, his slumber shaken off in an instant as he stood to meet me,"But your point is  getting lost and you're letting these petty comments dictate-

"I don't need a lecture on toughening up," I butt in with my own hand, "Don't worry, I have thick skin."

"Skin is not a very tough armor, Margot," His hand fluttered to find my sore one as he continued, "It is soft and easily broken."

"Seriously, Niki?" I pulled away, crossing my arms to hide my newly bruised hand.

He nodded his head, brushing off my rejection, "Look at what is has made you do. You have forfeited, so now we have both lost."

"How selfish of me..." I mused rhetorically. I was looking at his fully now. He was being sincere. But I was quick to cross my arms, not wanting to accept Niki's vulnerability, "What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" His eyebrows furrowed.

"I  mean Niki," I started frustrated, "You called me every day,   you've-you've got me back into this, you're holding my hand, then now I get a lecture, what are you doing?"

"This isn't the first  time you've expressed your desire to leave and you've never failed to  take an opportunity to tell me," He noted  smoothly, "You're   intentionally volatile, a liability nightmare, and now  you ask me what I am doing?"

"Any more compliments you want to throw my way?"

"You need to get your priorities straight."

"That's rich coming from the one who thought it would be a good idea on top of all of this to try and kiss me."

"So now you want to talk about that?" Niki retorted, "When it's convenient for you?"

"Maybe I'm not the right risk for the reward you're so desperately looking for."

The air went still. Niki had become apart of the game. But it was hard to tell who played the role of the cat and who played the mouse. There was it point to our argument, I wasn’t even sure what our argument was over. It was just an excuse for us to talk, to be there together occupying the same space. Now, as the air went still between us I took in a deep breath.  Then another. We stared at each other through exhausted eyes. No matter how tired we both were, he was willing to wait me out and I only had so much fortitude left in me. My arms were crossed and my feet were planted, I was practically shaking to keep myself together.

"Margot-

"Give me a minute," I held up my finger to his as went to step forward to fully assess the damage. I did everything I could to keep the tears from falling. I was doing a fantastic job at keeping them at bay as Niki stepped forward.  

"I can't do that," He denied me firmly, with a soft shake of his head.

"Niki, please." My voice broke in desperation.

This time, however, he simply pulled me to him. It was entirely unreasonable and entirely spur of the moment and entirely something I should not have done. But I could only hold back so much as my arms clung to his body, pulling him to me further.

#Niki Lauda #daniel bruhl niki lauda #niki lauda x reader #niki lauda fanfiction #niki lauda x oc #niki lauda fluff #niki lauda fic #niki lauda rush 2013 #niki lauda daniel bruhl #niki lauda slowburn #slowburn #rush 2013

[scuttle-buttle]

Sleeping With The Enemy

Masterlist

Pairing: Niki Lauda (Rush 2013) x fem!OC Catherine Sinclair/Reader

Summary: Catherine Sinclair is the younger, estranged half-sister of renowned F1 driver James Hunt. Things get a bit complicated when she decides to reenter James’ life and ends up meeting his rival - Niki Lauda. Engines ignite as Catherine finds herself caught between her feelings for Niki and the rivalry that the two men share. Will she pump the brakes or let herself crash in the inferno?

Rated: Explicit 18+

Playlist:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30 - Epilogue

Check out the anthology sequel!

#sleeping with the enemy #swte scuttle buttle #niki lauda rush 2013 #niki lauda fanfiction #daniel bruhl niki lauda #niki lauda x reader #niki lauda x reader smut #niki lauda x oc #daniel bruhl #daniel brühl #fanfiction #rush 2013 #daniel bruhl fanfiction #smut #daniel bruhl x reader #scuttle-buttle #daniel bruhl x you #daniel bruhl smut

[italianraviolos]

Because I just can't get enough of Laszlo, here is another Playlist for another scenario...

"Lazslo is chasing you because he finally understands he can't live without you"

#daniel brühl x reader #daniel brühl smut #daniel bruhl x reader #daniel brühl #daniel bruhl icons #laszlo kreizler #laszlo kriezler x reader #daniel bruhl #the alienist #niki lauda #niki x reader #helmut zemo x you #helmut zemo #zemo smut #zemo x oc #baron zemo #zemo x reader #zemo x y/n #zemo #zemo x you #i love zemo #alex kerner #goodbye lenin #classical aesthetic #classical music #dark acadamia aesthetic #Spotify

[kreizlersdeadpoet]

Confidence and Wit (The Boy on the Bridge) [An Alienist Fanfic]

Pairing: Fem!Oc X Laszlo Kreizler

Summary: Whilst in the early stages of solving the most recent murder to plague New York, Laszlo is introduced to a confident woman with a mysterious scar...who also happens to be John Moore's sister.

A/N: Hey, I've never written anything before! This is my first shot at writing as I have a tendency to self-insert an oc into every tv show/film that I watch so I thought I'd write this one down lol. There will most likely be more parts to this but I have no idea how to use tumblr sooo idk. Honestly this works as a self-insert I just love the name Vivian!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John Moore and Dr. Laszlo Kreizler sat around a small table in the well-lit living room of the Moore residence. Without the Zweig flie, the two men could not move forward in their investigation into the recent death of the boy on the bridge. They both sat amongst John’s drawings of the poor boy killed and several of Kreizler’s books on psychology, a topic John viewed irrelevant to the current situation.

“And how do you suppose my drawings and your books of ramblings will aid in finding the killer of this poor boy?” John questioned, already feeling the effects of the past day.

“I don’t believe it will,” Laszlo began “but it’s all we can do without the Zweig file unfortunately. I believe the post-mortem will prove invaluable to this investigation”

John poured himself another cup of tea, downing it as though it were a shot of whiskey. His head rested on the palm of his hand as he tried to process the situation he had gotten himself into over the past twenty four hours. He felt as though his spirit had temporarily dislocated from his body as images of the dead boy flashed before his eyes.

“something on you mind John?” Laszlo commented as though the past twenty four hours hadn’t happened. John’s head snapped forward,baffled by his friend's question.

“Something on my mind? Something on my min-yes Laszlo, a great deal no thanks to you!” John looked exasperated at his old friend. “Look, if we could simply rest whilst we wait to obtain the Zweig file then I would feel much better”

Laszlo shook his head slightly as he combed through another of his books. “There is no time to waste with a case like this. I fear that if I’m correct, a killer such as this will indeed kill again, and another child will be brutally mutilated”

John winced at that last part and reached to hastily pour himself another cup of tea as though it had the same effect as his beloved alcohol. All the while, a young woman had made her way down the long set of stairs in the hall of the house, heading straight to the bookshelf near the end of the living room. She wore a casual white blouse and long black skirt with waves of her hair cascading behind her. She scanned the bookshelf in silence, ignoring the two men bickering at the table as her presence went unnoticed.

“Psychology may not be of such use that it solves a case immediately, but it gives us an insight that the police tend to overlook unless I suggest it to them” Laszlo stated matter-of-factly as he recalled the many cases that went ‘unsolved’ due to the police’s reluctance to accept his perfectly valid evidence due to its root in the study of the mind.

Meanwhile the young woman had now stopped looking for books all together and instead stood listening to the conversation happening on the other side of the room.

“I don’t doubt that Laszlo, but when you claim that every individual’s actions can be explained using your studies, I’m sorry my friend but I find myself siding with the police” John chuckled, “and you know I don’t like siding with them often” he scanned the table of books before him and was suprised to see a copy of the ‘The Signal-Man’ by Charles Dickens mixed with Kreizler’s academic books. “What, and suppose you can explain to me that there’s some sort of psychological meaning behind my favourite Dickens novel too?” John said half-jokingly.

“Dickens suffered from siderodromophobia” is what Kreizler was just about to state smugly, however the doctor found he had not said a single word, and that it was someone else who had said those words. A woman.

“Dickens was victim to a train crash in 1865 and the accident had highly personal implications for him. He never recovered from the trauma; he lost his voice for two weeks following the accident." the young woman explained. "That was the inspiration for the book's plot though I’ve never actually seen you pick up an actual novel before John” she joked

The two men sat staring at the young woman, though John seemed to be staring in annoyance rather than surprise. This suggested to Kreizler that the two obviously knew each other well.

“Aren’t you supposed to be out with grandma?” John hissed, seemingly embarrassed by the young woman’s presence.

“yes, but I’m ill” is all she stated in return, grinning as she clearly saw humour in the fact that she very much did not look at all ill.

“yes, and I’m the king of England! You seem to be looking perfectly fine now. I told you I had important business to attend to today, why don’t you go out and sit in a park or something”

Laszlo sat in silence watching the two interact. He was both humoured and bewildered by the young woman’s wit.

“Important business?” she questioned “you draw pictures for a living John, I doubt it’s of any real Importance” the doctor had now noticed a strong English accent in the young woman's speech which only led to more questions.

Laszlo finally allowed himself to take in the woman’s apperence as the two continued to bicker between each other. She had dark, brown hair woven with strands of gold which were highlighted by the sunshine pouring onto her frame through the window. The sight was almost angelic Laszlo thought. Her dark brown eyes of million hues led Laszlo to question what the word “brown” even meant, and yet, there was a tiredness to her eyes that no woman of such a youthful age should ever be burdened with, he thought. That perked his curiosity. Still, her nose was in congregation with her eyes and lips to form a perfectly coordinated glow of confidence that morning. ‘Confidence and wit were a form of beauty’, something Laszlo remembered reading in one of his many books and something that certainly came to mind as he met the challenge in the woman’s eyes. However, it was the narrow thread of silver that ran from the bridge of her nose to the right side of her cheek that caught his attention the most. The scar wasn’t too prominent on her face, but it was definitely noticeable. She must have sensed his attentive eyes on her disfiguration as her confident stare diverted to the floor before she made her way over to the two men.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us, John?” Laszlo asked, closing the book before him.

“Not if I can help it” John mumbled to himself before clearing his throat. “Uh, Laszlo this is Vivian Moore, Vivian this is Dr. Laszlo Kreizler, a dear old friend of mine”

“Moore?” Kreizler questioned and looked between the two. Vivian rolled her eyes. Of course, John had forgot to mention he had a sister, everyone seemed surprised to meet her when visiting the house.

“I’m his sister, unfortunately” she wore a small smile as she offered her hand out for Kreizler to shake, which he did. He wondered how Vivian had managed to go unseen for so long, after all, he and John had been good friends for a long while and never once did he mention a sister, only a brother. “of course I’ve heard a little about you Dr. Kreizler, its nice to finally meet you” Questions inevitably began to poke at Laszlo’s brain as they always did, and so the usual interviewing began.

“Your accent, its not like John’s its-“

“English, yes. I’ve lived across the pond most of my life, educated there too. I’m only here to visit for a few months before going back but i-“ Vivian's voice trailed off as her own attentive eyes then landed on the pictures sprawled across her living room table. “So it is true what they're saying about the boy on the bridge?” she asked, taking one of the drawings into her hand.

However, before she could inquire any further, John had snatched the sketch from his sister and scoffed at the change in subject. “Absolutely not” he said to himself, gathering all the drawings and placing them back into a folder. “You are not getting involved in any of this, nor will I have you pressing for information like you always do” John had also taken a mental note at how quickly his usually focused friend had now shifted all of his focus onto Vivian completely. “a woman should not even be remotely interested in such an incident as-“

“oh come on John” Vivian feigned offence as she rolled her eyes “I seem to be less troubled over a drawing than you given the irritable mood you’ve been in all morning. Don’t you know, women have their own minds now dear brother”

Laszlo smirked slightly, trying not to show John that he was taking sides despite the fact that he most certainly was. “Perhaps a fresh pair of eyes on the drawings could-" Laszlo began to suggest before being shot down immediately.

“Absolutely not!” John cried as he suddenly stood from his chair. “Laszlo, I implore you to not involve my sister in such investigations, this crime is not meant for the eyes and ears of a lady” he began clearing up the cluttered books and graphic notes that littered the table before him. John also wondered how his sister seemed so interested in the graphic depictions on his sketch paper, especially concidering certain facts of her past.

“Well, I won’t try and argue with him, he’s awfully sensitive sometimes” Vivian joked as she brushed down the front of her dress. “It was nice meeting you Dr. Kreizler, perhaps you can indulge my curiosity’s on this case when my brother is busy down the brothel” this humoured Kreizler greatly, much to his old friends distress and the sudden redness of his face.

“That’s enough Vivian” he warned as his lips tightened in annoyance. John thought that perhaps there was something in the waters of England that had made his sister return to New York with a new found cheek. Perhaps it was her new way of coping. He usually enjoyed her wit but not when it was at the expense of himself.

Vivian turned to return upstairs but before she could, Kreizler had finally spoken up again. “May I inquire about the scar on your face, Miss Moore?” he couldn’t help himself, her sudden introduction prompted too many questions from him and he needed answers. However, it very quickly became clear that perhaps he had crossed some sort of line as he watched Vivian’s radiant smile fade quicker than he could savour it.

"Laszlo!" John scolded quietly, not understanding why his friend couldn't just let people go without analysing every fibre of their existence. It doesn't take a genius like Kreizler to realise that scars never usually came accompanied with a funny origin and his sister was not an exception.

The tiredness in her eyes grew more prominent as she stared at Kreizler directly. As if she'd been asked the same question a million times prior and the answer wasn't a very nice one.

“you may not” she answered simply, her speech free of any specific emotion for Kreizler to take note of or analyse. It was clear that the doctor had struck a chord within Vivian and he almost instantly regretted his curiosity, though he would never admit that.

John had also seemed to forget his embarrassment from moments before and instead let out a small sigh that filled the rooms silence. “Vivian” he warned again, almost like a parent rather than a brother. He cared for her deeply but understood that Kreizler never meant harm in his question.

“it’s fine, I’m going. Apologies for disturbing you both” she spoke simply as she turned away from the two men and returned upstairs as silently as she had been when coming down them.

“I’m afraid i may have crossed a line?” Laszlo broke the silence as he was left again in the company of just himself and John. A small part of the doctor wished that Vivian had stayed a little longer, she seemed an interesting enough person to get to know considering she was John’s sister.

“ yes well when don’t you” John smiled sadly as his gaze lingered on the staircase momentarily. “you’ll have to forgive my sister, life has not always been too kind to her and her mood tends to change rapidly” he sat back down opposite Kreizler. He watched as his friend seemed to ignore most of this, clearly only waiting for him to reveal the truth behind the scar across his sisters face. John rolled his eyes at this. “I don’t believe it’s my position to tell you my sister’s business if she does not wish to share it herself. Besides, she’s my sister and not a child at your institute”

Suddenly, there was a frantic knock at the door and before the two men could process the sudden noise, the Moore’s resident maid had already opened the door.

Sarah Howard pushed past the maid as she made her way into the living room, a familiar sight from her childhood. “I have it” she stated boldly

“Sarah?” John questioned as he stood up once again from his seat.

“the Zweig file, I have it” Sarah marched over towards the two men and placed the file down on the table. She wanted to be a part of this investigation and Kreizler smiled unsurprisingly at her efforts.

“Thank you miss Howard, this file may indeed move the investigation forward quicker than we thought.” Though Dr. Kreizler was glad to see the file, his mind couldn’t help but wonder back to the woman he had just met. What could’ve happened to prompt such a reaction to his curiosity? And what did John mean by life not always being kind to her? Though his mind was certainly on the case of the Santorelli boy, a new line of curiosity had sparked across his mind: who was Vivian Moore?

#laszlo kreizler #John Moore #Sarah howard #The alienist #Daniel Brühl #Laszlo Kreizler x reader #Daniel Brühl x reader #andrea marowski x reader #niki lauda x reader #dr laszlo kreizler #Daniel bruhl x reader #Moore!oc #Luke Evans #Laszlo kreizler one shot #Laszlo kreizler imagine #Laszlo kreizler x y/n #Angst

[profeyandere]

𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐈 𝐋. ─── ☾ 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐄

Masterlist || Daniel Brühl Masterlist || Wattpad

Word Count: 2.8k

Pairing: Niki Lauda x Fem!Reader

Warning: Accident mentions, injury mentions, feelings of guilt.

English is not my native language, so I apologize for any mistake and if you can help me improve it, I will greatly appreciate it. I hope you enjoy it :D

Your recovery had been long and tortuous. There were times when you ever wished you had died in that accident, but watching television every day and observing the races you had participated in and in which you should have been, gave you that necessary push to be able to continue to improve day by day, even if there were times when your body was on the verge of collapse, and all it asked of you was a little rest.

With first-degree burns in various areas, including the face and head, with a fracture, almost broken, in one of your legs, and various wounds scattered throughout the front area of your body along with lung poisoning due to smoke, you decided to finish that recovery as soon as possible and continue the championship in which you had signed up. You had very bad days in which you simply couldn't even get out of bed, and you had other, less common days, in which you were completely prepared to continue improving and giving it all to return to racing as soon as possible. At first, it was very difficult, even the doctors doubted that you would survive, but once they verified your fighting spirit, and threatened the occasional professional, they finally decided to get down to work to make you recover as soon as possible and continue what you had left behind while you were in the hospital, and some of your rivals were still in Germany, you found yourself surrounded by love and emotional support, receiving the occasional joke and words of encouragement, but always missing the sarcastic and scathing comments from certain Austrians with whom you had such a good relationship.

Niki Lauda, known for being "The Rat" in F1 and a category jerk, was not the first to offer you his hand as a sign of friendship once you signed up for that world championship, but once he made sure of the potential you had in the races and how hard you worked even if you didn't get to the podium often, he didn't think twice about burying the hatchet with you. It was not very common to see you in the company of the other competitors, but it was a very pleasant surprise to meet Lauda one summer afternoon after one of the races of the 1975 season, both sharing a rather pleasant conversation judging by how that a subtle smile had settled on his face and your cheeks were pink from the laughter that came from you. People whispered about a friendship, maybe even a romance between the two of you judging by the looks you gave each other, but you both knew that this feeling that flourished in you had to remain hidden from the public eye and that it was not necessary to say anything to express what the other felt, you simply intuited it.

When you had that accident and regained consciousness, you expected to see Niki appear at the door of your room at some point, occasionally meeting James, Clay, and your team of technicians and mechanics while they were still in Germany, even though you were visited by some of the competitors you didn't have much of a relationship with, but Niki never went. He never visited you, and that, internally, destroyed you.

Now, that you had finally been discharged from the various operations for skin transplants and lung cleaning, you decided to continue supporting your team from the shadows. You had to take things easy. The grafts should not be exposed to the sun and, if they did, it should be for the shortest time possible you should not make great efforts to avoid hurting your lungs, in addition to taking care of the fracture in your leg so that they did not have to operate on it. Simply put, you had to take care of every little thing you did so you didn't suffer more than you had to.

"I thought you wouldn't come back to run."

That voice, slightly serious but with a joking tone made you smile. You turned your head to be able to see the tall body of the British driver, who welcomed you with the greatest of joys when he found out that you had traveled to Italy to support your team and the partner who would replace you from that moment until the end of the competition.

"And I'm not going to run," you admitted, extending your arms to reach the crutches you needed to walk, "but someone has to supervise a bit that their team is in good shape and in perfect condition to beat you."

James couldn't help but smile even more when he heard your answer, making a slight wince that went unnoticed when he saw you get up from the seat where they had forced you to be so as not to force yourself more than necessary. He was glad to see that you were still the same woman and, somehow, you didn't see the scars you had left from the accident as something to hide, but that you showed them without problems and any shame. He admired your fighting spirit and your way of making others understand that you didn't give a shit about their opinions.

"That is going to be complicated, the rat and I are leading the championship."

You couldn't help but roll your eyes before heading towards the blond, smiling in his direction again, showing him the result of your grafts for the first time. It was true that Hunt had seen your condition shortly after regaining consciousness, finding that your face was swollen and red, there were even parts that he couldn't differentiate, but now you were completely different. Your hair, if it was already short, was now completely flush and with a blackish tone very similar to coal, with areas covered by bandages that you had to change from time to time for cures. Your forehead, eye area, and part of the bridge of your nose had a more orange hue from the grafts, and while the operation didn't make you look as attractive as you did before, they were at least able to save your life and managed to rebuild an area that might have been lost.

"I know I'm beautiful, but you don't have to ogle me," you teased, snapping James out of his thoughts.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to seem rude," he muttered between his teeth, clearing his throat when he realized the mistake he had made by staring at you.

"You didn't seem like it," you denied back, shrugging. "I know I don't look good, James. I'm like a wrinkled walnut, half orange and hairless, but it is what it is, and it is what I have to get used to until everything settles down and improves."

Your tone of voice had dropped. James was able to feel in your words how you were hurt by what had happened, but he also knew that you were doing well, or at least as much as you could.

"Do you want to go for a walk? I have to rescue you from being prostrate in a chair for the rest of your life, and judging by the way your friends look at me, they're not too amused that you're standing up."

You couldn't help but laugh when you heard your friend's words, nodding your head gently before following in his footsteps to take a small tour of the room where your other rivals were.

Something that you liked about James was his spontaneous way of bringing up topics of conversation that were interesting or, failing that, that was funny enough to make you laugh a few times so you could forget about all the bad things in life. You hadn't realized how much you had missed the Brit until that moment.

You appreciated the walk with Hunt. In the background, you were able to hear the roar of various engines, and the talks of the different teams that were competing, and you could feel the fresh and soft wind from Italy blowing over part of your face that had not been affected by the burns. Once again, you felt like one more runner, for small moments you forgot the accident and everything that it entailed, but when you came back to reality, you felt a bucket of icy water fall on you, even more so when you saw the small flag of the Ferrari team just a few meters from you, also remembering the Austrian you hadn't seen in a month.

"And Niki?" You asked, drawing the blonde's attention. He didn't seem to understand what you were referring to. "I know he caused the accident, but nothing happened to him? He was good?"

James opened and closed his mouth, resembling a fish out of water.

"Yes," he said, seeing how you raised both eyebrows when you didn't understand what question he was answering to you. "I mean, nothing happened to him. No injuries, no fractures, or anything like that. The only thing he suffered was his car, and all he did was retire from that race."

"The blow was quite strong, yes," you confirmed, nodding your head gently. "But I know that he tried to help me, as did Harald, Guy, and Arturo. No one suffered from burns?"

"If they had burns, they were slight, nothing too important," he answered. "The rat was very worried about you."

"I guess," you muttered, stopping just a few steps from where Niki was supposed to meet with his team. "Why didn't he come to see me? I understand that we are not thick and thick, but I hoped to see him at some point like you or any of the others."

James' blue eyes settled on you and, with a gentle nod, he invited you into the Ferrari garage, the place you had avoided because of the man inside. You sighed and, with a quick thank you to James, walked slowly towards the entrance of the small space that the Italian team had for the improvement of their cars, then found yourself with a completely absorbed Niki who didn't seem to notice your presence.

Seeing that red jumpsuit full of stamps of the different sponsors that Ferrari advertised made you feel tickled in your stomach. Before, you hadn't paid much attention to how shiny his racing clothes were or how his tousled curls made him look even more attractive, even if his front teeth made many say otherwise; missing someone was never so clear to you until you finally had Niki Lauda before your eyes.

You must have moved instinctively, as the Austrian quickly turned to check that you were there, with him. He was just speechless seeing you, being the first person to have such an effect on him.

"Hello."

Your voice was like a breath of fresh air, and his heart began to pound so fast that he even thought that he might be suffering from a heart attack at that moment. For a moment, he imagined that his mind was doing its thing again, seeing things that weren't there or hearing voices when, in reality, it was an engine; he just couldn't imagine that he had you back, alive, in front of him.

"Hello," he answered back, scanning you.

The small smile that settled on your face caused a frown to appear on his. He didn't know exactly how to feel about your arrival and, although he had avoided meeting you as much as possible, he made sure at that moment that it was a matter of time before the dreaded reunion would take place.

"I know I'm beautiful, but you don't have to stare at me.

That joke of yours, even if you had previously used it on James to get his attention so that he wouldn't look at you too much more than necessary, it did not affect Niki because, in his mind, the only thing he was able to remember was the accident and then felt the weight of guilt fall back on his shoulders. It was as if he were going back to that happy race, remembering the same thing over and over again without getting tired, only to realize that he was to blame for what had happened to you.

It was all his damn fault.

That August morning he was afraid, it was reflected in the meeting with all the runners who were going to participate in the race, but it was his ego and his attempt to show that he was the best and not a coward that caused his mind to cloud over and he just wanted to beat James. He knew he was going too fast, and that the car might be damaged by his attempt to win, but he never expected to crash into the back of your car and set it on fire, thus taking away your chances of winning that championship and almost taking it from your life. It was the latter that weighed on him the most, seeing you engulfed in flames and not being able to save you from a mistake he made. From then on he behaved like a coward, mainly because he couldn't be able to visit you to realize what he had done to you, and now, in front of his eyes and looking not very pretty, he felt even worse than he would have imagined.

"Niki?"

Hearing his name come from your lips, it was as if a switch had been thrown in him.

"Why are you here?" He questioned, surprising you by the dark and cold tone of voice that he was using, being the first time that he addressed you in that way. "You have come to blame me too, right? Just like everyone else."

You couldn't help but frown at that accusation.

"What are you talking about?"

Lauda felt insulted.

She had seen it in the eyes of others, and you, of all the people in this world, should know it better than anyone. Everyone had looked at him and pointed to him as the culprit of everything that had happened to you, and they were right, but he didn't need to be reminded all the time what a monster he had been when he involved you in the accident. The interviewers continually asked him about the same topic, your technicians and mechanics kept looking at him sideways, and even some of the runners stayed behind him in the races so as not to suffer the same fate as you; he wasn't stupid, people were afraid of him, and they described him as the worst human being in the world, but he didn't need you to remind him with your presence.

"I know what you're planning, and I'm not going to let you trample me too," he pointed out cheekily, annoyed, taking several steps towards you so that you could hear him better, leaning slightly to be at your height and intimidate you. "I know I was wrong to let anger blind me and keep me from seeing past my nose, but I also don't need you to appear here as Jesus Christ to argue with me. I know I should have listened to you and calmed down. I know I should have thought with my head and not let my ego win. I know I should have slowed down and not sought glory to show Hunt and his friends that he was the best. But I don't need you to come to martyr me any more than I already do to myself."

The harsh words of the Austrian left you frozen, speechless.

Not only you had suffered the consequences of the accident, but Niki as well, and he was not able to mention it to anyone because everyone blamed him, including himself. As he had spoken, his face had taken on a reddish color where anger and sadness had been the main factor in him. His hazel eyes had turned bloodshot, and his shoulders were shaking, trying to hold back from falling apart. He had always shown himself as someone strong who cared little about other people's comments and, in order not to show how hurt he felt, he behaved like an idiot to drive the other person away. You made sure then that you were trying to walk away so as not to suffer more than he already had, even if then it was too selfish to think such a thing after all he had done to you.

With one step of yours, you got your bodies to be a few centimeters from touching, and slowly, you delicately let your forehead rest on his chest. The sudden contact alerted Lauda, who for a second wanted to step back so as not to injure your burns or make you suffer from the grafts that were recovering and molding, but feeling how you seemed to seek his touch more ended up relaxing him and calming the stress he was experiencing. He had subdued for the last month, allowing him to let out all the air he seemed to have been holding since the moment he saw you in his garage.

You knew Niki wasn't one to show affection for physical contact, but seeing him not pull away made you understand that he was fine. From that moment, you would show him that everything would be fine.

#niki lauda #niki #lauda #niki lauda x reader #niki lauda x you #niki lauda x oc #reader #you #oc #formula 1 #f1 #daniel brühl #niki lauda imagines #daniel brühl imagines #rush #rush 2013

[totowlff]

extra — before everything

➝ a photo. an audio. a voice message. and niki never saw elisabeth the same way again.

➝ word count: 2,7k

➝ warnings: none

➝ author’s note: you've already seen elisabeth and toto's vision of what happened that sunday in august. however, a point of view was missing. precisely the one you are so curious to know. I hope this extra helps situate you in the conflict. or not.

AUGUST, 2016

Niki Lauda sat in one of the chairs on the porch of his home in Ibiza, reading the weekend edition of the Financial Times. He’d bought it on Saturday, when he’d gone into the market district with Marlene. He didn’t really care for going into town, especially with the crowds that the high season brought, but his wife had insisted — there was only one place she would buy fresh shrimp for the paella she’d planned on making the next day.

Who was he to deny Marlene Lauda anything?

The rest of the weekend was quiet. He spent the morning talking to Tilman, his brother-in-law, about horses. He was trying to figure out what the ideal age would be to start Lennon, his grandson, on riding lessons with the pony he’d bought from Tilman when Lenny was born. Inside the mansion, Marlene and Sandra, Tilman's wife, were preparing lunch. Niki’s dogs, Felix and Shivas, were probably underfoot, waiting for stray crumbs to fall to the floor.

After lunch, Niki dispensed with the traditional Spanish siesta and set out for a walk around the grounds, Shivas and Felix close behind him, inspecting every centimeter with curious noses and wagging tails. He only went for a walk when he needed space to think about a problem. The problem he was thinking about now was the conflict between two of his children, Mathias and Elisabeth, and how he could resolve it.

Niki prided himself on being a fair man. Fairness was important to him, and he valued it not only in his professional life, but his personal life as well. When his children were born, he made a point of treating them the same, offering much more than similar toys and education, but dedicating his time equally to each of them. He played with both, including both in his motorcycle and car adventures around Ibiza, and he was willing to learn to ride a horse to accompany both boys on their rides with Tilman.

However, he found his personal capacity tested in 1985, after his last Formula 1 victory, Marlene told him that she was pregnant again. The idea of a third child made Niki re-examine his priorities. After his first free practice session in Austria, two weeks later, he announced his retirement again. This time, it was permanent. Not even Ron Dennis' insistence changed his mind. For him, the future of Formula 1 was in good hands.

Marlene's pregnancy was relatively uneventful, with the exception of a scare that landed her in hospital. Niki, who was in Brands Hatch for a race, rushed to Vienna. It was no use for Marlene to reason with him and tell him that he didn't need to miss the race that weekend, since she was perfectly fine, as was the baby.

— I don't give a fuck about this race. What really matters is you and our baby — he said, running his hand lightly over her belly, a smile on his face.

Their third child was born a little less than three months later, and she was a real surprise for Niki and Marlene. They were sure they would have one more boy, and they were expecting the baby to make their lives even more chaotic than it already was with Lukas and Mathias. Niki even had a name picked out, chosen after a lot of discussion and input from their younger children.

However, it wasn't Christian Tilman Lauda who was in Niki's arms, but a little girl named Elisabeth Renate Lauda, name for Niki’s mother and Marlene’s sister. From the first few hours of her life, Elisabeth was calm and attentive, her big blue eyes staring at her father. Niki was completely enchanted with his daughter immediately.

As the years passed, Niki found himself growing closer to his youngest child. They bonded over more than Niki playing dolls with her, or reading her bedtime stories, but over Elisabeth’s quirky personality. She wasn’t impulsive like Lukas, or rebellious like Mathias. She was quiet, intelligent, and observant, and she had an impressive talent for numbers. Every time she solved a complicated equation that was even confusing for Niki — not that Niki was bad at math by any means — he thought that Elisabeth was “the granddaughter that Old Lauda asked God for”.

The differences between the siblings had never caused major conflicts. Lukas and Elisabeth always got along well, and Mathias had a good relationship with both of them. The three of them helped each other, both in their personal and professional lives, and, above all, they loved each other very much.

However, the apparent harmony between the siblings ended the year before. Their laughter and jokes were replaced with cold looks and deeply personal insults. It even culminated in physical violence when Elisabeth slapped Mathias across the face. Lukas, despite being his brother's manager, sympathized with his younger sister. Niki was completely lost as far as how to deal with the situation as he tried to make the siblings act like adults, and not like the children he had raised under the Balearic sun.

His eyes studied the printed image of Lamberto Frescobaldi, an Italian winemaker with an impressive estate in Florence, and he almost didn't notice his phone vibrating on the chair next to him. He folded up his newspaper and laid it on his lap before picking up his phone and reading the two notifications he’d gotten. Mathias had sent him two messages; a photo and an audio message.

He unlocked his phone and opened the messaging app, clicking on his middle child's name. Then, he opened the image to enlarge it. Niki took a few seconds to absorb it. It was a picture of Elisabeth kissing a man that he immediately recognized as Toto Wolff, his friend and business partner. It was a tender image — her hand was on his face, both of their expressions were soft. They looked every bit the part of two people who were completely in love.

He scrolled down a bit and tapped the audio message to play it, pursing his lips at the first few words.

— Hi dad, I'm sending you this photo because Elisabeth just posted it on Instagram, so I assume she told you all about her affair with Toto — he said, Lenny's laughter in the background — I'm sending you a copy to let you know that I wanted to tell you that I never supported this, from the moment I found out they were together in Spa last year.

Niki took a second to remember what had happened in Belgium. But, the message from his son continued playing. 

— Remember how you told me to look for Elisabeth when she disappeared after the qualifying session? I went to the motorhome, and the caterer said she saw her going up to the second floor, so I assumed she was in Toto's office. I went over there and when I opened the door to ask him if he’d seen her, I found him with his fucking head between her legs.

He raised his eyebrows at the graphic description. He definitely hadn’t expected that from his daughter.

— I talked to her, dad. I tried to put some common sense into that head of hers, but she said she loved him, that they were living together, and they were dating, that they loved each other, and that nothing would change that and… Fuck, I was just thinking about your feelings and how sad you’d be to find out Elisabeth was fucking your only friend behind your back — he continued, the tone of his voice sounding more a little frustrated — I know you've always loved Elschen dearly and... She's your golden girl, your pride and your joy. And she repays your trust by doing this to you? I just didn’t think it was fair, and she had to hear it.

Niki pressed his mouth into a thin line, sensing a specific kind of pain in Mathias' tone of voice. Of course, he loved his three children deeply and admired each of them, with all of their differences and similarities. However, it was inevitable for him to be closest to Elisabeth. She was his youngest child, his little princess, his shadow and right-hand in the business world, the perfect companion for his adventures in civil aviation and motorsport. They spent more time together than fathers and daughters their age usually did.

Mathias' heartache — jealousy, maybe, was perfectly justified.

— Well, I just wanted you to know that I'm on your side and that I never agreed to any of this. She had no right to betray your trust like that and I completely condemn her behavior. If you need anything, you can call me and I'll help you solve it, and we can do it the easy way or the hard way. I love you dad. I hope you’re doing alright.

Niki looked at his screen again. The image of Toto and Elisabeth was still pulled up, and he looked at it for a few seconds in silence. The sound of footsteps approaching made him look away. Leaning against the doorframe, Marlene looked at him, with Shivas sitting at her feet.

— Did Mathias call? I heard his voice — she said.

— No, he sent me an audio message.

She sat down in the chair next to Niki.

— What did he say?

— He sent me a picture of Elisabeth…

Marlene raised an eyebrow.

— Is Mathias with Elisabeth now?

— No. It's a picture of her with Toto.

— Ah — she muttered under her breath — Yes…

Niki looked at his wife, who was watching Felix stretch out in a patch of sunlight in front of them.

— Did you know about the two of them… Being together?

There were a few seconds of uneasy silence.

— Yes, I knew. Elschen told me in June.

— What did she say? — Niki asked, his tone serious.

— That she tried to avoid her feelings. That she tried to get away from Toto. But she decided to follow her heart. And… That she loves him.

Niki looked at the cell phone in his hands, the image of her daughter kissing his friend still on the screen. It felt a little surreal to see them like that. It just didn't feel right. Suddenly, he took the newspaper from his lap and stood up from his chair, causing the dogs to lift their heads to look at him.

— Nikolaus — Marlene said, her voice full of warning.

— What?

— What are you going to do?

— I just need to think.

Niki went back inside of the house and walked to his office. He closed the door and turned on the light. He placed the newspaper he'd been reading earlier on the desk and dropped into the black leather chair. With the phone still in his hands, he typed a quick reply to Mathias and returned to the app's main screen, selecting his daughter's name. Then, he typed four words in. He read his message over and over before he pressed the “send” button.

"We need to talk".

Not even two minutes later, his phone vibrated, his daughter's name flashing across the screen. She had a wide smile in her contact picture. Niki tapped the green button to answer the call, and he didn't have time to say a word before she began to speak, between sniffles and sobs.

— Dad, please, I know it's not right, but please let me explain, let me explain! It's not what you're thinking, please let me explain. Please let me tell you what happened. It wasn't supposed to happen, it was a mistake, he took my phone, you weren't supposed to find out like this, I was going to tell you, father, please...

— Elisabeth…

— Please don't be mad at me, dad. I did not want…

— I’m not going to talk about this with you on the phone, Mauslein — he said, his voice serious — I’ll be back in Vienna in two days. Come over and we can talk about it, then.

She sniffled a bit and muttered "okay", and Niki asked Elisabeth to calm down and said goodbye. He set his phone down on top of the newspaper, running a hand down his face. That would be a difficult conversation.

One of the hardest he would ever have.

The next day, Niki, Marlene, and the dogs returned to Vienna. He was completely silent for the entire flight, reflecting on the moments he had spent with Toto and Elisabeth. The achievements, the challenges, the countless meals, the meetings where they both had argued because they didn't agree on something.

When he got home, he just dropped his suitcase in the bedroom before isolating himself in his office again, but this time the office in his apartment. The room was richly decorated with mementos of his life in racing, some miscellaneous honors and certificates, Lenny's drawings, miniatures of his airlines' planes, and photos — lots of photos.

He’d accumulated so many framed photos over the years, images of him racing around the world, celebrating his achievements on podiums and at various award ceremonies. There were pictures of him with his kids in Ibiza and Vienna, and pictures of each of the children separately. Photos of Mathias running in GP2, Lukas playing with Shivas, and Elisabeth holding her Business Administration degree, dressed in her graduation regalia, her blue eyes shining with joy. There were pictures of Lenny sitting in his red mini-Mercedes. There was even one of Niki himself, with Lewis Hamilton, playing with Lewis’ bulldogs, Roscoe and Coco.

He sat down in his office chair, his eyes affixing to one particular photo. It was the only one Niki had sitting on his desk — it was a special memory for him. In the picture, he was standing next to Elisabeth and Toto. They were both drench in champagne and had wide smiles on their faces. His daughter was in the middle, holding the Formula 1 Constructors Trophy from the Russian Grand Prix. It was the race that had consecrated the Mercedes team as World Champions for the first time since the brand’s return to Formula 1.

Before he saw that photo as the realization of his great dream of triumphing in Formula 1 in a managerial position. Now, it looked different. It was as if the two people in the picture with him had completely changed in his mind somehow.

The sound of his phone vibrating snapped Niki out of his thoughts. He glanced at where it was sitting on the table, he raised an eyebrow as he read on the screen that he had a new voicemail message. It had probably not come in until just now because his phone was off during the flight back from Ibiza. He probably received it when he was flying back to Austria. Tapping the screen a few times, he brought the phone to his ear, waiting for the voicemail to play the message. Then the recording of a familiar voice started playing.

— Hi, Niki. It’s Toto. Listen, I know you… Know what’s happening now, and I just wanted to call you and speak to you before you and Elisabeth talk tomorrow when you get back to Vienna. What you are probably thinking is true, but…

The recording stopped for a few seconds, like Toto was trying to find the proper words. Niki's eyes found his face in the picture frame on the table.

— We didn’t hide it deliberately to hurt you. Quite the opposite, actually, because Elisabeth wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it and didn’t want to — he sighed — Break your trust. I know the circumstances haven’t been ideal, but… I can’t regret it, because it gave us a lot of time, you know, away from the spotlight and the pressure. And I… Can’t regret loving your daughter, Niki. She’s the best person I’ve ever met. She’s the love of my life. I would never do anything to hurt her, and I will always be there for her, whether she wants me to be or not.

Toto sighed again.

— Please don’t treat her too harshly, I guess that’s all I am asking. As a friend. I will always do everything I can to make her happy and…

The recording was suddenly cut off and ended with a beep, as if he hadn't had time to say more. Niki pursed his lips and off the screen, setting his phone back on his desk. Then, he reached for the framed photo of himself with Toto and Elisabeth, taking it off of his desk as he stood up from his chair.

His desk was no longer the rightful place for that particular photo.

#toto wolff #niki lauda #lauda #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fic #formula 1 fanfic #wlffog #natsversion #f1 x oc #formula 1 x oc #toto wolff x oc #scwlff

[eggbreadboi]

This tumblr is a mess, but I try to keep it sorted and tagged

IF you want to only see my art: #egg’s art

IF something strikes your fancy, some of my art is for sale at https://payhip.com/EggsBrainNoise

Most recent addition:

#breadanswers <- my answered ask tag

#resources <-half art resources, half important life stuff

Egg intellectual properties 😂

#egg’s ocs, #egg’s edits

Notable fandom shenanigans

#f1 wing au

Fandoms

#mushishi, #naruto, #jjk, #odyssey #mononoke, #cod, #f1, #motogp, #golden kamuy, #saltburn, #hes not trigger happy if anything he’s trigger sad <- my bucky barnes tag, #bullet train

#egg’s art #breadanswers #resources #art resources #egg’s ocs #egg’s edits #f1 wing au #mushishi #naruto #jjk #odyssey #mononoke #cod #f1 #motogp #golden kamuy #saltburn #he’s not trigger happy if anything he’s trigger sad #bullet train

[totowlff]

chapter thirty-two — empty apologies

➝ some wounds are too deep for simple dressings.

➝ word count: 3,9k

➝ warnings: none

DECEMBER, 2016

The elevator in Niki and Marlene's building was more full than it usually was when Elisabeth came to visit. This time, she had Toto, Rosi, and Ben in tow. The kids were talking animatedly, something about how they were looking forward to their upcoming ski trip with their mother after the holidays were over. Elisabeth was leaning against Toto, both of them with bags in their hands, stuffed with gifts and a few bottles of wine.

She couldn't help but feel something strange inside her chest. There had been many times that she had come to Niki and Marlene’s by herself, riding up the small elevator in silence.

However, since the first time she and Toto kissed, going to her parents' house felt like letting a bull loose in a China shop. She felt like a bull, clumsy and thrashing, waiting for everything to come crashing down around her. All of the Christmas and birthday dinners she’d been to since then turned into tests of composure, especially if the subject turned to the man she loved. Discretion was the rule and she dared not break it.

However, her game of hide and seek was over. Their relationship had become public. Of course, the first few months were tricky with having to deal with the press all over them. With time, Toto's support, and sessions with Alma, her therapist, Elisabeth began to feel less uncomfortable with the comments and attention she’d received. 

Proof of this was an interview that Niki and Elisabeth did with Sky Sports. After Ted Kravitz had asked about several topics, Toto’s name came up in conversation, which made Elisabeth’s stomach churn from nerves.

— That the partnership of the three of you led Mercedes to success is no secret. But, one question I can't help but ask the two of you is whether  or not the dynamic between you has changed after… well, two-thirds of this trio decided to take a step forward in their relationship.

— The question is for you, Elisabeth — her father murmured, making her laugh.

— Okay, sure. I don’t think the dynamic has changed much. There is still room for disagreement and debate between the three of us, and, in the end, I am at Mercedes representing my father's interests, not necessarily Toto’s interests or even my own. We still try to keep things respectful and to keep an open dialogue between all parties. 

— The difference is that you have more ways of dialoguing with Toto than I do, don't you? — Niki said with a smirk, making Ted laugh. Elisabeth felt her cheeks heat up as a shy smile appeared on her face.

— Can you confirm, Elisabeth?

— I don’t mix business with pleasure, Ted. In matters of business, I only use my words.

— If they're the same as your mother's, poor him.

The memory made her look up at Toto, standing beside her. He seemed lost in his own thoughts, his brown eyes not really focused on anything. Then, he looked down at her.

— Is everything okay? — Toto whispered.

— Everything is perfect — she replied, smiling. Toto kissed her on the forehead.

The elevator door slid open a few seconds later, and the four of them stepped out into the hallway in front of her parents' apartment. After ringing the bell and waiting a few minutes, the door opened. Marlene and Lenny greeted them, accompanied by Shivas and Felix at their heels.

— Tante! — Lenny shouted, running past Marlene towards Elisabeth, hugging her legs tightly. Behind him came the dogs, barking loudly and wagging their tails, walking around everyone at the apartment door, sniffing them.

Elisabeth handed the bag she was holding to Ben and bent to pick her nephew up, hugging him and kissing his cheek tenderly.

— Mausi! How I missed you! — Elisabeth said.

— I missed you more — he replied, tightening his little arms around her neck. And she didn't doubt that statement, considering her presence had always been big in Lenny's life. She was his only aunt, as Claire had no sisters, and was one of the people he had the most contact with. Not seeing him for months on end was heartbreaking for Elisabeth and she couldn't imagine what it had been like for him.

— I doubt it — she said, kissing his hair. “Jesus, he's getting heavy”, Elisabeth thought, as she patted him twice on the back, signaling that she was going to put him back on the ground — Have you said hi to your Onkel yet?

Then, the boy seemed to notice Toto's presence, a wide smile taking over his little face.

— Hi, Onkel Toto — he said, throwing himself at the legs of the team principal, who asked Elisabeth for help with the bags she was holding to pick Lenny up.

— Good evening, young man, how are you?

— I'm fine. I'm helping Oma in the kitchen.

— You and Eli, right? — Marlene said, running a hand through the boy's blond curls.

— Eli's in the kitchen too, but he's too little to help — Lenny said, making everyone there laugh — He’s just eating the raspberries mommy crushed for him and he's still making a mess.

— And you don't make a mess, Mausi?

— No, Tante, I'm a very good cook, aren't I, Oma?

— The best cook in the family — Marlene answered her grandson, smiling, as Toto ran a hand through the boy's light hair. Then his eyes found the two teenagers who were there, distracted by the family dogs.

— Who are they? — Lenny asked, pointing at the two of them.

— Ah — Elisabeth smiled — They are Benedict and Rosi, Onkel Toto's children. Ben, Rosi, this is Lennon, my oldest nephew.

The two smiled, waving at the boy. He stared at them with his pale eyes before shyly waving back. Their first meeting was not what she had imagined, but it was still fantastic for Elisabeth to see the two spheres of her life finally together, interacting.

— Well, I guess we can go in, can't we? — Marlene said, while Toto put Lennon on the ground — Nobody wants to be cold out here and by the fireplace it's very cozy, isn't it, Lenny?

— Yes, Oma! Come in, Tante! — the little boy said, tugging on Elisabeth's coat. It was up to her to laugh and give in to her nephew's requests.

After everyone came in from the entryway, leaving their shoes and coats behind, they headed to the living room, where Lukas, Niki and Mathias were. Shivas and Felix had already trotted in to take their places back in front of the fireplace. Lenny came skipping along with Elisabeth at his heels, shouting to everyone that his aunt had arrived.

As Niki and Lukas immediately got up to hug her, she noticed that Mathias hesitated for a few seconds, as if thinking of the best way to greet her. In the end, as she approached him, her brother merely held out his hand for her to shake.

— Good evening, Elisabeth — he said, his voice oddly formal.

— Good evening — she replied. She didn’t have long to feel awkward about it, as her attention was drawn back to her nephew, who was pulling her hand insistently.

— Come see Elli, Tante! Come — he exclaimed, clutching at her fingers.

— I'll be right there darling, just let me talk to Onkel Toto first, okay? — Elisabeth replied, before turning to Toto, who was already talking animatedly with her father. As she approached the two of them he smiled at her.

— Need something, Liesl? — he asked.

— I just wanted to bring the wine into the kitchen.

He handed the bags he was still holding carefully to her, resting his hand on her waist next.

— Do you need help in there?

— No, dear — she replied — Mom and Claire must have everything under control. Besides, considering what happened at Ben's birthday dinner, I think you better stay away from sharp objects.

Toto chuckled, before leaning over and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. Turning her back to go into the kitchen, she caught a glimpse of Rosi. She was sitting on the couch watching Ben and Lukas talk about Shivas, a slightly bored expression on her face. “I can't leave her there”, Elisabeth thought.

— Rosi, do you want to come into the kitchen with me? — she asked the girl. Rosi smiled shyly at her. 

— Yes — she replied, getting up and following Elisabeth and Lenny into the apartment's kitchen.

The kitchen was chaotic. There were platters, plates, and bowls strewn about, pots steaming on the stove, and something that smelled delicious baking in the oven. On the countertop by the sink, Marlene was stirring something in a pan. At the table, Claire was trying to finish cutting up some cabbage, and a little boy with raspberries smeared all over his face was bouncing next to her in a high chair.

— Elisabeth! — her sister-in-law exclaimed, getting up to give her a hug — How are you?

— I'm fine — she smiled — And you?

— Tired but fine — Claire said — Nobody said raising two kids would be easy, but thank God Eli is a real angel.

— I hear those are the worst when they grow up — Marlene muttered, making them both laugh.

— Don't talk like that, Ellison will be very well behaved.

— I'm well behaved too, aren't I, Tante? — Lenny asked. Elisabeth patted her nephew on the head.

— Of course you are, Mausi. You're very well behaved — she smiled at her nephew.

— I know this conversation is riveting — Marlene butted in, putting a dish towel on her shoulder — But I need to finish dinner sometime tonight. Can you help me, Elschen?

— Of course — Elisabeth said. She strode over to her mother and picked up the pot of boiled potatoes from the sink. However, as she turned around, she noticed that Rosi was standing in the corner, looking a little out of place — Rosi, do you want to help too?

The girl nodded. Soon Marlene assigned a task to her, who was responsible for the sauce of the dumplings that would be made with the potatoes that Elisabeth would mash.

With four more helping hands in the kitchen, it wasn't long before the family's Christmas dinner was ready. Soon, the dumplings prepared by Rosi and Elisabeth were on the table, along with the traditional roast goose, Claire’s coleslaw. It fell to Lenny to get everyone to settle into chairs for the meal. It was delicious, according to him.

After the whole family was seated, glasses poured with wine, juice and water, Niki stood at the end of the table and cleared her throat as a way of attracting attention. Soon, everyone was silent, attentive to what he would say.

— You know I'm not a speech-making man. In fact, I hate giving speeches. But, I have a few things to talk about and I'm going to take advantage of this moment when everyone is gathered for this, if you don't mind.

— I won't mind if you don't take too long, I'm hungry — Lukas said. Everyone at the table chuckled.

— I won't be long, Lukas, don't worry — Niki said, before continuing — Well, first I wanted to say how happy I am to have you all here. Marlene and I have always worked very hard to keep some traditions alive in this family, and the fact that we are still able to get together at Christmas is something that makes me particularly happy.

He paused for a second before continuing.

— Second, I'd like to point out how much this family has grown since the last time we were all together. At the rate we're at, we're going to have to buy a much bigger table for next year — Niki said, eliciting new laughter — Jokes aside, I've always wanted a big family and, after everything I've been through in this life, looking at all of you, I think I did pretty well for a half-dead man. I have an amazing wife, three wonderful children, an adorable daughter-in-law, and a somewhat stupid but still extremely competent son-in-law.

The good-natured mention of Toto had Elisabeth shooting a look at him, who was running a hand through his hair, nodding at Niki. Taking his free hand, their gazes met, a smile tugging at his lips.

— What about me, Opa? — Lenny asked, making everyone at the table laugh.

— How could I forget about you, Lennon? I also have wonderful grandchildren, who bring me great joy and pride. Of course, the number increased a little more than expected, since in addition to Ellison, Elisabeth also gave me two grandchildren who, despite not being of my blood, have all my affection since the first time I saw them.

Looking to the side, Elisabeth noticed that Rosi was looking at her lap and blushing, and looked like she was trying not to cry. Elisabeth took the girl’s hand in hers, giving it an affectionate squeeze. They never had the opportunity to meet the paternal grandfather as he was stolen by a cruel disease long before they were born. However, as fate would have it, they found that in Niki, who was as tender and affectionate to them as he was to his grandchildren by blood, who didn't hesitate to give his opinions and who was there to offer all the support they needed.

— But, I didn't want to talk about the good stuff. I really wanted to talk about the difficulties we face this year. These last few months have been very challenging for all of us, I have no doubt. But, I believe that it is in the worst moments that we find out who really loves us — he said — And the love I am referring to is not the one expressed in an 'I love you', a kiss or a hug. It's the one that's in a simple message asking how the other is doing or even in the eyes when you see the one you love. And this love, my dear ones, is priceless.

Elisabeth hesitated for a few seconds before looking up at Mathias, who was staring at her, an unreadable expression on her face. She knew her father was talking about the two of them and their shattered relationship. He had hurt her deeply with his words and actions, especially during their fight at Lennon's birthday party, when she had been called the lowest possible words simply for being in love with someone he didn't think was right for her.

— Therefore, I invite you to toast love with me. May he lead our family in this coming year. May he be the only feeling that is cultivated among all of us who are here. And may he be the strength that leads us towards even better days.

Raising her wine glass, Elisabeth just smiled at her father, while the sound of crystals touching sounded through the environment. After taking a sip, she looked at Mathias again. He continued to look at her, but at that moment, Elisabeth could see guilt in his eyes.

The family dinner was peaceful. Between conversations about Nico's retirement, the next trips to Ibiza and the anxiety of the dogs at their feet, waiting for crumbs to fall to the floor. However, the feeling of something heavy inside Elisabeth's chest continued, even with all the breathing techniques she had learned in therapy.

— Liesl, are you okay? — Toto whispered beside her, taking her fingers in his. She looked at him and smiled.

— Yes, I’m okay, dear — Elisabeth replied, picking up her glass of water and taking a sip. Toto kissed her hand and went back to his dinner, while she kept thinking about her father's words about love.

Elisabeth had never stopped loving Mathias, not even after he had called her a slut and thrown her and the man she loved out of his house. Mathias may have many faults, but he was a man who was true to his own values and opinions, something Elisabeth admired, in a way. Their bond had always been strong, through all the mishaps and disagreements, and it had never been tested until that damned Saturday in Spa.

After everyone finished eating, Elisabeth took it upon herself to take the dishes back to the kitchen and organize them in the dishwasher. There was something about the process that calmed her down, and she used the time alone to think. Occasionally, she was seized by some sort of mania about organization, and it had led to a few arguments with Toto. When it happened, Elisabeth decided to reorganize some room, drawer or space in the closet that belonged to him, and then he couldn’t find anything afterward.

She was trapped in her own thoughts about possibly rearranging the books in her Oxford office into alphabetical order, and jumped when she heard someone clear their throat behind her.

— Can we talk? — Mathias asked seriously.

Elisabeth hesitated for a second as she held a glass dish in her hand. It felt like deja-vu, just like the situation that had happened after Benedict's birthday. However, there was something in her brother's expression that didn't convey the same assurance that she had felt when she agreed to talk to Joanna.

Toto's mother had treated her completely differently that night, especially compared to the first time they had met. There was much more respect and even a certain affection. But Mathias hadn't shown any change in his attitude towards her and Toto. That was what scared her the most, especially because of Benedict and Rosi.

— I don't know if we have something to talk about — Elisabeth replied softly, placing the platter inside the dishwasher.

— Yes, we do, Elschen — he said — We have a lot to talk about.

Hearing him call her by her nickname made something clench inside her chest. It had been a long time since he'd last referred to her that way, and even though his voice didn't carry the same warmth as before, Elisabeth had missed it.

Looking back at her brother, she crossed her arms.

— Well, start talking, then.

Mathias pressed his lips together hesitantly. Then he said something Elisabeth didn't expect.

— I wanted to apologize to you, Elschen.

She blinked.

— Apologize?

— Yes.

— Why?

He sighed.

— Because I'm a shit brother. I was selfish with you, with dad, with our entire family. All because I couldn't accept that you also have the right to make your choices, no matter what they are, and to be respected for them, the same way Lukas and I were.

Elisabeth glared at him.

—Why couldn't you respect my choices? — she asked, dryly.

— Because I thought you were doing the wrong thing. I thought dad would be mad at you and I wanted to, I don’t know, protect you from his anger, because I already felt his anger. I didn't want you to be sad, or for him to be sad, either — her brother said, running a hand through his hair.

— So, you thought the best thing to do would be to blackmail me?

— I was trying to convince you that what you were doing was crazy. I had no idea that the relationship between the two of you was already so… Entrenched. I thought it was just an affair, just a physical thing, and that’s it. I really didn't think there was love involved. And I found out there was love involved when Toto walked into my office at Lenny's party.

— After you called me a slut, a cunt, a bitch, and a whore, you mean?

— I apologize for that too, Elschen. You are none of those things, quite the contrary. I've always been, and I'm still proud to have you as a sister. And nothing will change that inside of me.

— The way you've treated me these last few months, it didn't seem like you were proud of me. Actually, you made it pretty clear that you were disgusted with me — she muttered.

— Fuck, Elschen, can't you just see my side of this?

— Can you see mine? — Elisabeth countered — I was doing everything to keep my relationship with Toto protected, not just for us, but for the sake of his children. I didn't want to bring media attention to us and therefore them because I know how cruel the media can be.

— I know that too, Elisabeth.

— No, you don’t! — she continued, her voice rising — You don't know what it’s like because most press about you just relates to your driving. You’ve never had to read in a magazine that you're fat, that you're not graceful like your mother, that you're an ugly fucking duckling. You never had to hide during recess at school because you're a fucking joke to everyone.

Mathias blinked, a little shocked.

— I did what I did, I lied, I made excuses, I deceived everyone because I wanted to protect the people I loved. I wanted to protect Toto, his kids, mom and dad, you and Lukas. I did all this juggling for you, and when I needed you, you buried a knife in my back.

— Elschen…

— I really wish I could forgive you right now, Mathias. I really want to look at you and tell you that it’s fine and that I want to take our relationship back to where we were, but I can't. It's not like you don't really know me and you're acting on the wrong first impression. You've known me since the day I was born, Mathias. You know exactly how I am, what I think, and my weaknesses, and you used them against me.

Her brother swallowed hard, not saying a word.

— You always knew that I love dad more than anything in the world and that I’d never do anything to hurt him. The first thing you did after the shit that happened with my Instagram was tell him. You went to send a fucking audio saying that you were at dad's disposal to solve my situation the easy or the hard way.

— Did you hear the audio?

Niki played the audio for her and Toto during his first dinner with Niki and Marlene as her boyfriend. The anger in Mathias' voice, and the harsh words stuck in Elisabeth's mind, even though Niki seemed to think it was funny.

— Yes. And be honest, what did you think you were going to do to solve my situation together with dad? Would you go all the way to Oxford and drag me out of my house by the hair? Would you try to kill Toto? Or both of us?

— I thought I'd talk to you two — he murmured.

— Like you talked to me in Spa? I'm sorry, Mathias, but I don’t believe a word you say.

— Elisabeth…

She ran a hand over her face. She wanted to end this conversation.

— Look, Mathias, I only have one thing to say to you — Elisabeth said — Some things never change. You will forever be my brother and I will always love you. However, I can't pretend that you didn't hurt me with the worst possible weapon, which is the love I feel for our father. You destroyed my trust in you.

— I already asked…

— An apology doesn't change the past, Mathias — Elisabeth cut him off — An apology is like tearing a page out of a notebook after having written a wrong word with a pen. And, I'm sorry, but it's too soon for me to tear out the page you've scribbled through.

He stared at her in silence, absorbing what she had just said. Turning to the dishwasher, she loaded some more silverware and closed the door, pressing a button to start the cycle. Then, with her head high and her heart sinking, Elisabeth looked at her brother.

— Excuse me — she said, solemnly, before leaving the kitchen, as well as Mathias, behind.

#toto wolff #toto wolff fluff #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 x oc #formula 1 fic #formula 1 fanfic #wlffog #formula 1 x oc #natsversion #niki lauda #scwlff

[pickledpascal]

Daniel Brühl Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Series:

In A Rush

The Life Sentence

The Study of The Alien Mind

One shots:

REQUESTS OPEN

#oc #laszlo kreizler x oc #laszlo kreizler #daniel brühl x oc #daniel bruhl character #daniel bruhl #the alienist #the life sentence #the study of the alien mind #carmen niabi x niki lauda #niki lauda x oc #niki lauda #zemo #helmut zemo x oc

[lorna-d-m]

Lights Out Masterlist

Pairing: Niki Lauda x fem!OC

Summary: Roxanne, recently graduated and unemployed, gets a call from her childhood friend and hero: her cousin James Hunt. In need of a social media manager after one too many scandals, he can think of no one better than Roxanne for the position. Excited about a fun job and getting to know more about her cousin, she jumps at the chance. However, amongst all the bright lights of both the circuit and the media, Roxanne falls in love with his rival: Niki Lauda.

Ao3 link here

Playlist

Playlist Tour

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Away We Go

#Niki Lauda rush 2013 #Niki Lauda fan fiction #Daniel brühl Niki Lauda #rush 2013 #Daniel brühl fanfiction #Spotify #lights out fic #niki lauda #niki lauda x oc #niki lauda x reader #f1 fanfic

[ay0nha]

The Race That Launched a Thousand Ships: Part 4/?

(Working) Summary & Title: Niki Lauda, the rookie starting his career requests the help of a mechanic,  Margot Lancaster who has a buried past that he’s seemed to uncovered.  

Pairing: Niki Lauda x femme!OC (mechanic)

Word Count: ~3.1K

A/N: Dumb question/shower thoughts: Were seat belts a thing in the 70s? Probably right? I’ve been working so much, so thank you to all the kind comments and patience! Oh, and if you’d like to be added to the taglist, please let me know! Someone sent me their username in my ask box and I accidentally deleted it, so please send again sorry about that 😅😅

Warnings: drinking & being drunk/throwing up

Taglist: @scuttle-buttle @creme-bruhlee​ @hardlyinteresting 

Masterlist - Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5 Part 6

--

"And...Are you?"

"Yes."

Niki Lauda, Formula One Word Champion.

"Take me through it."

"No congratulations?" Niki asked, an ego-fueled smirk plastered on his face. This just helped prove how he was still high off the victorious adrenaline.

"Not until you talk me through it,"  I requested bluntly.

"Ok, well..." Niki drew in a breath to explain the race. It was as straightforward as his last few wins of the season were. He was in a good car with a good engine that brought him across the finish line just a bit faster than the rest. There was nothing exciting about the race except for the fact that Hunt's car broke down, no longer an issue for Niki. He got lucky, the two of them were contemporaries, Hunt had just as much a chance to win as he did by the sounds of it.

"So what I'm hearing is you had the advantage?" I baited him. I was in the perfect mood to pick a fight, "You're in a Ferrari, he's in a Hesketh...I mean, that speaks for itself."

"You're mad at me," He put it simply, "That's what this is."

"No," I shook my head and shrugged,  "Just put Hunt in my car, then come talk to me."

"Are you calling him the better driver?"

"All I'm saying is that-

"Ever since that party in Italy," Niki raised his voice at the start of the sentence, but trailed off toward the end, rubbing his chin with his hand, clearly being cautious of how he wanted to continue.

"No, go on," I dared him.  We were in it now, and there was no coming back from the argument that was begging to be started.

"Where is your loyalty?" He now questioned, adjusting his stance. His shoulders were squared, looking ready for a fight. He looked confident and rooted, I almost wanted to take a step back out of pure intimidation. Almost.

"Where's yours?" I seethed, copying his stance as I physically stood up to him.

"It was Marlene, wasn't it?" He argued further, coming even closer to me, "Clay talks to you the same and there is no issue there."

"No-

"Then what is your issue? " He practically bellowed.

I pushed air out of my lungs as I started to become visibly angry. But I was caught off guard by Niki’s previous comment. It made me stutter for a moment, realizing we weren't arguing about the same thing, "Nothing."

"No, not nothing," He wagged his finger at me, "Ever since that party, you have not been focused. This comes first."

We hadn't talked about what happened in the car the day of Clay's get-together, at least not directly. Neither of us knew how to bring it up and in doing so, we only created a wedge between us. One that only got wider as the races went on. I hadn't meant to take my anger out on him, but he was an easy target, in the same way, I was an easy target for him. We had become each others punching bags when in reality we were the only two that knew how to get the job done properly.

"Everyone seems to like him...Hunt." I ignored him, only pressing further. I knew when to stop, but I didn't want to, "He's got it all doesn't he? And you? What do you have Niki?"

I felt like strangling him. We were standing so close at this point that it wouldn't be that hard for me to do. He had a look on his face that could be described as masking hurt. It made me think that maybe, just maybe, I should have just congratulated him when he stopped by. That's what I was supposed to do as his mechanic. The car had optimal performance, the driver excelled, and the mechanic did their job of having all the right parts put together. We were a well-oiled machine on paper. But now, in person, that professional boundary between us proved to be nonexistent from the start. I was about to apologize for being difficult on purpose, but he spoke before I had the chance to.

"I never should have hired you," He said his words slowly, making sure I knew this was his final blow.

This was the final straw that broke the camel's back. My voice was quiet and low, but my words were menacing, ready to strike at a moment's notice, "Fire me then."

"What did you say?" Niki was taken aback by my willingness.

"Fuck you, Niki, that's what I said," I poked the bear one last time before things could truly got out of hand, "I'm leaving."

"You can't just leave when things get difficult," Niki walked after me, hoping I'd stop. I was quick to grab my things, more than ready to remove myself from this situation. My feelings were hurt and Niki was the one responsible, but I'd rather die than him know the way he made me feel.

"Then this," I held up my middle finger, walking out of the garage completely, "Is really going to burn your ass!"

"Where are you going?"

I glanced back at him, wishing I had just powered through and left. I shouldn't have given him an answer, but as much as I wanted to be left alone by him, I still answered, "The track."

"I thought you said you wouldn't go to a race," Niki yelled after me, grasping at straws to keep me there.

"It's over isn't it?"

The party was in full swing by the time I got there, everyone both winners and losers mingling together to sing and dance under the string lights of the track's pop-up tents. Any other time, I'd shy away from such a large crowd, but the blind rage I felt caused me to go straight to the middle. It wasn't hard to navigate the different bowls and bottles of alcohol, the small pockets of conversations, or the melding of a few different songs playing from various speakers on the grid. Everyone was on cloud nine, truly experiencing bliss in all its forms. Finding James was easy, especially since he was the life of the party despite his mishap only hours ago on the track. Once he saw me, he was surprised, but no doubt lit up, telling me how I had chosen the right person to party with tonight. It was obvious why so many people fawned over him. He was tall, blonde, charming, and was wickedly good at holding an enthralling conversation. He made you feel like an old friend that he hadn't gone a day without talking to. He was everything Niki wasn't. 

I couldn't help but wonder what Niki would be like if he let loose, let himself relax, and enjoy himself fully. I had thought I saw it once before. It was shortly after he had hired me and we had just gotten on a red-eye flight, causing us both to succumb to the wiles of exhaustion. I couldn't even remember which Grand Prix it was, but I could never forget how uninhibited Niki was. It was unprompted and it wasn't anything explicit, just the general atmosphere of comfort and contentedness as we sat next to each other on the quiet flight. His guard was completely down. I had no way of knowing that wasn't going to be the norm for him and I wish I had stricken when the iron was hot.

But now, there was no doubt that harden exterior was right back up the way he wanted it. It was a protective barrier that I should build back up for myself.  As my mind became hazier by the drink, I started to believe in order to start over, I'd need to knock down what was remaining to truly start from the bottom up. As a result, I started to slur my frustrations to those around me, no longer caring what I said or who I said it to. James thought it was funny at first, he even encouraged me. However, his encouragement led me down a deep rabbit hole of exploiting myself from atop a table and frankly I became the buzz kill of the party. He then excused himself, probably tired of my antics.

"James, you didn't," I seethed as he came back into view with an uninvited guest, "Why did you call him?"

"I'm not fit to drive you home and you're clearly not fit to drive..." James defended politely, scared of the glare he was now receiving from me, "I thought he'd be the one to call..."

"The one to call," I laughed bitterly, my body losing balance as I stepped off the table. Niki reacted before I could, offering a helping hand,  "Look here you-

"Get in the car," Niki said sternly, wanting to leave no room to argue.

But I had enough wiggle room to say, "No, just go home."

"Is she alright?"

Niki directed his question towards James, but I took the opportunity to answer, "I'm fine!"

"She started talking about-

"Martin," I hiccuped loudly, "Big deal, it's time for all these people to know don't you think? How I was bullied out of my title."

Niki's grip on my elbow was firm, teetering on the line of painful and protective. He pushed through the crowd, adeptly fake smiling at a the handful of people who had stopped to congratulate him.

"Stop manhandling me," I huffed tugging my arm from Niki, but his grasp was unrelenting, "I can walk on my own!"

"Let's get you to the car," James stepped in, replacing Niki's arm of support.

I took it gratefully as I stumbled with him towards Niki's car. It was like a flip of a switch. I was tired now and had no fight left in me. I watched as the two men next to me tag-teamed to get me into the car. Not only had my mind given up, but my body wasn't too far behind. With James's arm under my own, he let me lean on him while Niki opened the door. Niki's posture seemed nervous as I worked my way into the car, he was restraining himself from stepping in. I thought at that moment, maybe if I truly went slack he would. But I didn't have enough time to test my theory as the door was already closed.  I watched through the windshield as Niki walked around to the other side of the car, stopping in the middle to share a few words with James. I tried to read their lips but the darkness and my inebriation made my efforts worthless.

While I waited, I made sure to buckle myself in. Not soon after, Niki opened his own door and slid in next to me, a hefty relieved sigh leaving his mouth. When he shut his door, it was like he shut out the rest of the world, finally able to give me his undivided attention. Even thinking that made me nervous, but he gave no indication otherwise. He had even glanced over at me, his hand already reaching for my seat belt only to stop once he saw I had already fastened it.

The ride was silent. Every part of the car could be heard. I tried hard to listen to it, hoping I could start nit-picking the way he had.  I couldn't hear anything. Maybe I didn't want to because that meant I'd have to start talking to him. But what really stopped me from opening my mouth was incredible nausea I started to feel. I put one hand over my mouth and the other to my forehead, trying to force it away as best I could. It only grew stronger as the car moved further along.

"Niki..." I groaned lowly, afraid if I said any more, more than words would come out of my mouth.

He ignored me, having zero interest in the argument he thought I was going to start. Our last words were still fresh.

"Niki," I said more urgently, grabbing his arm.

"Margot." He said my name like a warning.

"It's coming..." I let go of his arm, my hand returning to my mouth.

"What?" His attitude forgotten, anxiety now heighten.

"I'm going to throw up..." I started to burp. Saying it aloud almost pushed me over the edge.

"Not in the car, you're not," He answered pulling over immediately. It was funny how for such a skilled driver he braked so poorly, but the threat of puking in a car can do that to someone.

Without hesitation, Niki jogged around the front of the car, unbuckled my seat belt, and ushered me to the closet patch of grass right as I emptied the content of my stomach. I hated being this vulnerable if this was even considered that. I think I hated the fact that it had gotten this far and the one who had to deal with the consequences was not only me but more directly Niki. My mind was blank as I continued to vomit. I couldn't even recognize how much Niki was helping me.

He was whispering affirmative phrases behind me, trying as best he knew how to calm me. It wasn’t all too helpful because I could hear in his words how he cringed, but it was the thought that counted. As I slow down, I felt his warm hand on my back, unsure of whether its position was comforting or not.

My breathing was heavy, trying to make up for lost time when Niki asked me, "Do you have more?"

"I don't think so," I leaned forward and spit into the grass, pretending that it would help change the taste in my mouth.

That's when I started dry heaving. This time, however, Niki was a bit more prepared. He adjusted, also crouching down in  a position to better be by my side, his hand went to my hair, making sure every strand was out of the way in case I had more of my stomach to empty. We stayed in this position for a bit of time, every time one of us thought it had passed I'd start gagging all over again.

"Ok," I said quietly, afraid of speaking too soon, "I'm done this time."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded my head and slowly stood up with the help of Niki, wanting to leave my embarrassment behind, "Let's just go."

Niki didn't have to be told twice. He helped me back into the car and we were once again on our way. I was happy the nausea was settling down, but my stomach felt sore, a blatant reminder to never drink again. Hoping to settle it, I   put my feet up on the dashboard which clearly peeved Niki as he pushed them off and back down into the foot well. I went to do it again, but he only repeated his actions with a small glare. My boldness was resurfacing due to our little back and forth interaction. So, when Niki thought I’d put my feet back up on the dashboard, I shifted and stretched my legs out over the bench seat of the car onto and over Niki's lap.

"What are you doing?" Niki asked suspiciously as he re-positioned himself in order to drive properly.

"Getting comfortable," I continued to shift, truly making myself as comfortable as possible, "...My stomach is killing me."

I was a live wire and he knew if he said something, it would be the end. Even in my clouded mind,  I could tell he wanted to say something but refrained. As he drove, I stared at his side profile as the street lights hypnotically illuminated his face.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He glanced at me briefly.

"Were you sleeping?" I mumbled, my words still influenced by alcohol.

I noted how he took a moment to think, unsure of whether to answer truth but ultimately deciding to, "Yes."

"Are you mad?"

"No."

"Are you happy?" I continued to ask my questions. I had only started to get the ball rolling, but Niki didn't give me a response. Shifting again, I used my foot to nudge his stomach, "Niki, are you happy?"

"Yes." Yes. I wanted to ask further... why? what about? maybe who about? but I wasn't focused enough to follow up.

"Ok."

"Ok," He nodded his head as if closing out the conversation.

"Well, aren't you going to ask me?" I practically whined. I hated the way my voice sounded, but I was suddenly desperate for conversation with Niki. As much as I enjoyed Hunt's energy, it helped me realized how much I craved that with Niki.  I knew he wouldn't ask me so I decided not to ask him  another question, "You have my title."

"I have your title," He confirmed, being as neutral on the topic as possible.

"It's infuriating, I...I think I'm actually livid," I traced his face with my eyes as I worked through my feelings.

"Is that why you've been acting like this?" Niki couldn't help but let the question slip, he turned his head to look at me for as long as he could before his eyes were needed back on the road.

"'No," I answered honestly, "Winning shouldn't be your fault."

"Then what is?" He was seeking resolution.

"You went fast."

"Hunt was on my tail the entire time," He lifted his hand from the wheel as a gesture of defensiveness, "What else was I supposed to do?"

"No, the other day," I tilted my head back and forth against the window saying no, "You went fast. I don't like to go fast in cars."

This only confused him further. I thought he would have gotten it, but he was struggling to string together my thoughts. Even earlier, I expected him to get it, but there was no reason for him to.

"Ever since..." I mumbled, not finishing the sentence, "I just don't like to go fast. I can't go fast. And I told you when we first met I don't go fast. I just don't. So just don't, okay?"

Instead of responding, Niki shifted gears and lifted his foot from the clutch to the brake of the car to slow down as gently as he could, contrasting how he had just moments ago. Niki's posture relaxed as well. He allowed his arm to fully rest of my legs, while his hand now held the bottom of the steering wheel and the other placed smoothly on the gear shirt. The entire car, both inside and out, had slowed down.  He didn't know how apologize and I didn't blame him. So this was his way of doing it and our way to reconcile.

"You also lost me a lot of money."

#niki lauda #niki lauda x oc #niki #niki lauda fic #daniel brühl #niki lauda slowburn #niki lauda x reader #rush 2013