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your--isgayrights · 3 months

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You have written at least 1 No Scenarios AU before, so what do you think would happen to ORV KDJ if the scenarios never happened? In your wall fic, KDJ gets a stable job and a still ongoing story about YJH but at around the same time in the novel KDJ is about to be unemployed while WOS is coming to a close. Do you think ORV KDJ would be able to find another job (maybe like in your wall fic) or stay in contact with YSA or be fine without WOS? I’ve seen others say that KDJ might contemplate suicide again, or that he would never come to terms with his mom and his past in a No-Scenario event. What are your thoughts on the possible differences between this KDJ and your wall fic’s KDJ?

Hmm that's a good question... I think most important to whether or not Kim Dokja contemplates suicide again is whether or not WoS ends in the same way it does in cannon and how he reacts to it without the scenarios. My feeling is that when Kim Dokja survives his first attempt, he goes online and searches something to the effect of 'How to survive in a ruined world' and stumbles across a page publishing WoS, and he follows it for all these years because he is still looking for an answer to that question. I think a lot of people can relate to that drive for media consumption that is like... 'please, I just want to feel different after this, I want this to mean something.' WoS is a story about what happens to a man forced to survive the apocalypse over 1800 times and this is analagous to KDJ who endures the sisyphusian burden of being a regular guy with no friends every goddamn day lol. KDJ has been waiting for WoS to tell him what it has all been for. An important part of WoS's construction is that HSY knew KDJ's future while writing it. In this way, WoS was like a promise to KDJ, 'please just keep living, we're coming soon, the people who love you will appear, please just wait for them a little longer..'

In a world where this future doesn't come to pass, the original ending of WoS would lose a lot of this meaning. we get a bit of a preview of this reality in the sort of... Oh... That's it? Moment KDJ has after reading 'the end' at the start of ORV and then there's his messages with the author. So with this as the starting point I will say I find it likely KDJ could work himself up to another attempt just based on the ending of 'surviving 1863 times was for nothing because reality is limited and there are no true heroes' bc his internal just like YJH moments would end up depressing like 'doing all this work for nothing in the end...' but like you say there's more fun options if you get our ORV ladies involved. For instance, I could see KDJ disbelieving the ending or wanting a better conclusion for YJH and messaging the author about such things. Imagine that as One True Author HSY is fading, 26(?) Yo HSY wakes up to see she has a weird alternate account she's typing on? What? And looking at her computer history she realizes she sleep wrote this novel? Wow her genius knows no bounds...

I think for an author like HSY, having a single dedicated reader to converse with who takes the story to be as important as it is in your head is a really big thing, and her popular web novels never have anything like that. So when she has this account that's this one way channel with KDJ she's like oh haha fuck this guy what a loser he likes this webnovel that doesn't even have a good ending like mine did... I could write so much better of an ending awake than I did asleep... So she starts writing extras at KDJ's behest. Except her style is totally different and very fanservicey, except she doesn't understand the fan she's serving very well yet?

On KDJ's end I think maybe YSA takes concern after he reveals he doesn't have a position lined up after his contract ends and starts sending him any and all opportunities she sees around. At first he awkwardly thanks her and doesn't pursue them right away, but while WoS is ongoing again in this weird new direction, he starts applying around. He either gets another office job or honestly I could see him working at a convenience store or something (maybe he has a system where if there's a fly in the store a certain bug net carrying kid can catch it for candy rewards...).

While HSY is writing WoS extras, KDJ is constantly complaining and it eventually shakes down to a long one on one conversation between the two of them about why WoS and it's ending matters so much to KDJ. He wants a happy ending that he can Believe, not just a 'happy ending' standard formula, because those exist for a different Type of person than YJH (KDJ) is. So HSY doggedly works at writing and revising it until KDJ could possibly be satisfied... But maybe comes to the conclusion that there's no way WoS could end and satisfy KDJ so they decide to write a sequel that only HSY snidely sees as a KDJ self insert fanfiction of the original work so HSY is writing RPF of random guy who read her sleep-wrote novel ending up in her sleep-wrote novel and that's ORV. I like to think that somehow ORV would become popular even though WoS itself would remain in obscurity like people would think it was made up just as the premise for ORV and not look for the actual novel lol. Then I think HSY and KDJ could be very Established online friends and maybe even meet up in person to talk shit. As for his mom, she'd get out of prison but I don't think she and KDJ would meet up again unless maybe HSY coached him or his mom reached out first. I have some more specific ideas about how it's going to go in Wall fic I wanna keep close to the belt for now.

But yeah without WoS or any of the IRLs' intervention, KDJ's story is def one of that passive suicidality that comes from not even being able to imagine a future worth surviving for. Without a driving motivation to keep living, KDJ becomes unemployed, food becomes scarce, he might drift through some systems for a bit before reaching the end. I don't know if he'd still take action himself, but he'd definitely be another person just sitting around waiting to die. Of course, even for such a person there are avenues to keep living. Like I said, low level job at a convenience store or something could be pretty okay. It's a close knit team with a small group of customers and he doesn't have to care too much about the job to get it done. He could do little niceties for people like he likes to do and just have it taken as good customer service. But he would still definitely be Waiting for whatever next thing would come along, be it a new novel or like a robber coming to kill him lol. I could imagine him getting held up and being like... Do it. Take the shot. I'm a 30 yo working at a convenience store do you think I have something to live for. And maybe he'd get promoted to manager.

#sold myself on that little KDJ as a convenience store manager moment at the end there bc tbh one of the things i relate to KDJ on is having #trouble planning out the future bc of the executives disfunctioning and sometimes i dream about working in #fast food again and being able to go home and have a life instead of school or planning for the future i guess #thanks for the ask its been hard for ne to do creative stuff recently ive bren waiting to feel like my life has Plateaued again #ask #anonymous #orv #orv spoilers

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lovee-infected · 3 years

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This idea just hit me like a train. How would twst boys react to WAP from Cardi B?? 😂😂😂

I'm trying to ignore the fact that I might've never discovered WAP without this request...🗿

Warning(s): What should I even tag as the warning idkk ckcjxjsjsjdjdjck- Mentions of WAP's lyrics, mentions of nsfw, Warning for Idia's part bc I think it went a bit too far-

Riddle Rosehearts

Heard of this song named WAP being trending between students -> Searched it up -> Riddle:... Riddle: *Turns off his phone*

Bans WAP from the whole Heartslabyul afterwards, and every student found listening to it will have to face Riddle's: "NOOOOOOO- NO WAP IN THIS HOUSEHOLD - GO TO HORNY JAIL OFF WITH YOUR HEADS YOU UNWORTHY CREATURES- "

Trey Clover

Searches: "What does WAP mean?" before wards and after reading the search results he decides that he doesn't really need to listen to the song itself anymore.

He just clears his browsing history and returns to baking cakes. Nothing has happened, he knows nothing.

Cater Diamond

He is the guy making those "Night raven college react to WAP!!" videos on magicam. His reaction videos get over 100k views and people from all over the Twisted Wonderland start following this dork for them.

Who cares about the WAP itself? As long as he can gain followers over these videos he doesn't care how the song is supposed to be.

But at last Riddle discovers his videos by finding other dorms' students laughing over them and forces him to take them down💀 Man, Riddle really did ruin his once-in-a-life time chance for becoming popular.

Ace Trappola and Deuce Spade

Riddle has banned WAP Heartslabyul so they're going to illegally listen to it. It was Ace's fault though, Deuce is innocent.

Ace searchs up the music video, Deuce just sees the thumbnail and tells Ace that he doesn't think that this is going to be a good idea but Ace cuts him off by asking him not to be such a chicken-

Though they had to stop because Deuce was all shaky and embarrassed after just 20 seconds :"Stop this-STOP THIS- I CAN'T DO THIS- WE'RE STILL TOO YOUNG" and Ace had to stop to shut Deuce because they could've gotten caught at any second because of his unholy screams.

[a few minutes later...]

Deuce: It was saying DOORS in this house

Ace: Bruh what the- we both know it was saying Wh*res.

Deuce: Y-you dirty minded bastard!! It was clearly saying doors in this house!

Ace: Why the hell would they say doors in this house!??? It was wh*res!

Deuce: Doors!

Ace: WH*RES

Deuce: DOORS

Ace: WH*RES

Deuce: DOOOOORRRSSSSSSSSS

Leona Kingscholar

See he might be a jerk but he hasn't yet gotten to the level of appreciating this way of presenting women in songs-

He's just going to pretend that WAP doesn't exist,but most of the Savanaclaw on the other hand are going wild because with WAP, now he can't even take a peaceful nap without WAP being looped in his brain.

Ruggie Bucchi

WAP isn't beyond his power, he's handled stronger songs.✨ He'd regularly rap WAP in public when he's feeling like it.

Now he goes around to recommend WAP to naïve students and taint their virginity by making them listen to WAP without knowing what it is-

Jack Howl

Catches Ace and Deuce listening to WAP and ends up listening to it because of them. He doesn't knpw what to say...

He isn't mad, just disappointed. Disappointed parent noises. Out of all these students, why should he best buddies which these two?

Time to drag Ace and Deuce to a corner and give them a long speech on why young men their age need to be focusing on mastering skills and achieving success through these golden years instead of violating rules and tainting their pure minds.

"Trappola-kun, Spade-kun, you've greatly disappointed me. You need to be more mindful of your actions as fellow freshmen of night raven college. Is this how the future's great magicians are going to be? How do you think your parents would feel about this new habit of yours? Have you thought of how despicable women are being presented through such songs? Are you going to support such a taboo message toward ladies?"

And Ace and Deuce end up having to listen to him and think of their bad actions for the rest of the day...

Azul Ashengrotto

[Before listening to WAP]: He hears of this WAP song being super trending between students. What might it secret be? What kind of magic would make a simple song so hecking popular? He has to find out.

Azul thinks that by learning WAP's ways, he might be able to produce songs that are even better for mostrolounge and even start his very own music company! But before that he needs to listen to wap itself...

[After listening to WAP]: ...He discovers what kind of magic is making it so popular, but decides that it'd be better for him take a step back from the world of music for now. Yes, he's traumatized

Floyd Leech

"Hey hey koooeeebiii chaaannnn have you seen my new dance~?" ah yes, he's got the WAP dance and he's proud of it. These are the time when he's genuinely thankful for getting to have human legs.

But the WAP dance isn't his only target, he realizes that Jamil doesn't seem to want Kalim to know anything about WAP, but thankfully, Floyd is going to be kind enough to bless the young Kalim with his wealthy knowledge on WAP. ✨

Jade Leech

"My...my...that was savage," Jade is amazed, it's quite wonderful how these fragile creatures can go from Micheal Jackson's smooth criminal to WAP in a matter of years.

He's still having trouble keeping up with latest human trends and popular songs but, he's slowly liking humans a lot more than before. These creatures have already reached the level to make put p*rn in music, impressive.

Kalim Al Asim

He hears students whispering about an epic song named WAP during the classes, and of course he'd be intrigued!

He looks up the song but Jamil has already blocked his access to any sources that he might find WAP in, yet Floyd was kind enough to lend Kalim his phone to let him listen to this masterpiece. Later on, Floyd tells him about the WAP dance and bam, Kalim is addicted.

"Everyone watch me! I've got the WAP!"

Poor Jamil doesn't know which is worse, having Kalim signing it loudly in the dorm or watching him showing off his skills in that WAP dance in public. It's time for Jamil to go on a long, long trip and never come back until Kalim graduates from this school.

Jamil Viper

Listens to WAP once, is going to spend the rest of his life pretending that he has never heard or watched it. The most ironic part about it is how he watches the music video instead of just listening to the song and...the snakes. Good lord the snakes- He isn't sure if he likes snakes anymore.

The snakes part seriously traumatizes him but not like Kalim does when he asks Jamil to learn him the WAP dance. And heck no Jamil isn't going to learn him how to dance like a wh*re. At this point, he decides to deny WAP's whole existence.

Kalim: At least tell me what a WAP is!

Jamil:

Jamil: Worship and prayer.

Vil Schoenheit

Hasn't listened to WAP and refuses to do so. He's got standards.

Rook Hunt

"Bravo!!! These Mademoiselles have taken the art of music to a whole nother level! Beaute! 100 points! 💯" (...what else did you expect him to say?)

Just as always, no one can really tell if Rook really liked it or not but from the way he acts he seems to be... intrigued. Apparently WAP starts to get too famous in school and Rook would always be the first one to find out if a student is secretly listening to WAP in public, so he doesn't mind popping up and reminding the students not to listen to such a potentially stimulating song so carelessly: "Monsieur (x), it's adorable to see you appreciating such a glorious piece of art in this lovely day, but I don't think that all of these students staring at us right now are yet prepared for such a beauty,"

Epel Felmier

He just asked Ace for some music that'll make him sound more badass and Ace gave him the WAP:

Epel listening to WAP be like:😳😶😨😕😭

His face is redder than a tomato after the first 30 seconds of WAP, but Ace tells him that he'd be the bravest human being ever if he takes the urge to listen to this in front of teachers.

Tries to dance to WAP and make a video with it to upload on magicam, but Vil catches him in the middle of process.💀💀💀 The video turned out pretty good though. It looks just like a mother (Ehm- Vil) getting into her child's room (Epel-) and finding them doing some crazy shit.

Idia Shroud

He's the silent and seemingly shy dude who's listening to WAP in the highest volume under those head phones during classes.

Divus Crewel: CaF2(s) + Br2(ℓ) → CaBr2(s) + F2(g)...

Inside Idia's headphones: " ~ Wh*res in this house~ there some wh*res in this house~ there some wh*res in this house~ there some wh*res in this house~"

Bonus: He once forgets to connect his headphones to his tablet before playing WAP:

[Wap is being played at max volume inside Trein's class]

Idia: *Thinks that the sound is coming from his head phones*

The classroom: "Beat it up, n*gga, catch a charge

Extra large and extra hard

Put this p**sy right in your face

Swipe your nose like a credit card"

Trein: 😳

Students: 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

Crowley about to jump down: 🤭

Idia still not realizing what the hell is going on: 'Lucy lucy baby~ hihihi- wait- why they all staring at me now...? Did they hear me internally flirt with Lucius?'

No need to say what happened to Idia after this...

Ortho Shroud

No WAP for him. You may find him reacting to "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" if you're interested.🗿

Malleus Draconia

Thank goodness he just finds the censored version of WAP... Listens to the whole song, but doesn't understand most of the lyrics. The "Put this cookie right in your face" part confuses him the most, he doesn't get it. Why would you put a cookie in your face? Is this something humans usually to do with their desserts? Like, would they put ice cream in their faces too?

Virgin dragon keeps on asking people, including Lilia, to tell him what it means to put a cookie in one's face, yet no one seems to give him any proper answers ):

Perhaps human music just isn't his thing, he's getting back to sad violin noises which he listens to when he isn't invited.

Lilia Vanrouge

WAP go brrrrrrr. Our sassy grandpa is legit in love with this piece of gold and all of the humans for achieving such a glory. The beat is superb and the lyrics are: Delicious, motivational and creatively written.

Even better, WAP has an unofficial but smexy dance too. Old man Lilia is never too old for performing a sexy physically challenging dance.

You can now hear savage rock sounds combined with WAP playing in the background coming from his room when he's vibing in the afternoon.

(I can totally see him wearing a neko maiden costume while dancing to WAP and you can't tell me otherwise)

Silver

Finds WAP in papa Lilia's playlist...

Silver:

Sebek Zigvolt

Sweet mother of love Sebek feels like listening to WAP has taken his virginity away-

He is a good boy, no, he once was a good boy. He's no longer the worthy man he used to be now that this unholy song has tainted his soul.

Legit feels guilty and and sinful after WAP, so you can find him praying for forgiveness to that Malleus portrait in his room every night.

"Oh young master forgive my thoughtless deeds, I beg for your mercy upon me now that I've sinned..."

Dire Crowley

Not saying that a drag Queen Crowley dancing to WAP would be a thing, but a drag Queen Crowley dancing to WAP would be a thing- Everyone bow down to the Headmaster, the most gracious of them all 😩😩😩👌🏻

Please, don't blame him. Birby is under too much of pressure after the very recent overblot cases and he needs a way to let go of the stress😔😔😔

Sam

Is illegally selling copies of the WAP because most of the dorms had blocked access to this song for the students...

"Helloooooo little demons I've got the WAP! In stuck now-"

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #malleus draconia #vil schoenheit #idia shroud #Jamil Viper #kalim al asim #Azul Ashengrotto #jade leech #Floyd Leech #leona kingscholar #riddle rosehearts #Deuce spade #rook hunt #Dire Crowley

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everlarkficquestions · 3 years

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Sunday Stumped Day 35

It’s another Sunday Stumped Day!

Sometimes we straight out get stumped. So every few months we will pick a Sunday when we’ll post of a list of asks that we need your help on.

In this round, we are focusing on asks for specific stories. If your ask for a more general “type of” story is not included, it does not mean we are ignoring it, it just means we need more time to research and answer these asks.

If you know the answer to any of these asks please shoot us a message/ ask/ with the Post number and the fic details and we’ll add it and give you a shout out with our thanks. Any links you can provide will also be super helpful.

Thanks!

Post 1 , Post 2 , Post 3, Post 4, Post 5, Post 6, Post 7, Post 8, Post 9, Post 10, Post 11, Post 12, Post 13, Post 14, Post 15, Post 16, Post 17, Post 18, Post 19, Post 20, Post 21, Post 22 , Post 23, Post 24, Post 25, Post 26, Post 27, Post 28, Post 29 , Post 30, Post 31, Post 32, Post 33 and Post 34 can be found here - and there are still fics we need your help with.

576. Anonymous said to everlarkficquestions: Hi, I am searching everlarkfic that I read couple years ago in ff.net. Post mockingjay, Katniss and Peeta are getting married then when they’ll rebuild Peeta's family bakery, peeta got collapse and they find out that he was dying. In the end peeta died. Annie and Katniss's mother had to move Katniss to district 4 to taking care of her. In district 4, Katniss met with gale and they were slowly building relationships from there?

577. its-hopeless-romantic said to everlarkficquestions: Hey,I am looking for fic in which Peeta is Katniss's college professor (he is 10 years older than her) and they fall in love. He is teaching history of art and I remember he invited her to the opening of his galery. I remembre that he goes to Italy to teach for a few months and before that he introduces her to his family. I think it has 2 long chapters in second one there is his proposal. (It's called Lessons in Love or something like, but I can't find it)thanks 💕💕💕

578. alwayseverlark said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! Looking for a in Panem fic (I think no games) , where Peeta is working in the mines and an accident happens and Katniss is looking for him thinking he’s dead , but Gale thinks she wa s looking for him instead and when he realizes , he’s mad at Katniss.I am not sure if this is one fic... or if I’m mixing two different fics...Thansk!

579. stonyspideypool said to everlarkficquestions:I'm looking for a fanfic were I think katniss wants peeta to take control/be more dominant so she calls johanna and johanna tells her that peeta would never force himself on her and he has dealt with so much blue balls over the years that he's used to it or something (lmao) sorry that's all I remember 😅😅Love the page btw💙❤ literally its the only reason I'm on tumblr, thank you💕

580. amesielee said to everlarkficquestions:Hi I'm looking for a fanfic. It's either a one shot 2 shot or 3 shot and it's about Peeta and Katniss having sex. It's their first time and once it's over Peeta grabs a wash cloth for Katniss to help her out. She then gets mad and assumes he has done it before with Delly. I think Peeta didn't know it was her first time. And Peeta says maybe we are just good together. He then asks if she loves him. It's on Tumblr. I hope you can help xx

581. booksandeverlark said to everlarkficquestions:Hi there! Another story I remember reading but can’t think of the title. I know Leeta is older then Katniss. Peeta knew Katniss’ Parents and is their age. Katniss likes Peeta and Peeta keeps telling her he’s too old for her but she doesn’t care. They start to date and Katniss dad finds out before they can tell and eggs mad. I think Peeta also gets hurt protecting Katniss and how she reacts makes her dad see they are serious. Thanks so much for the help

582. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions:Trying to find a fic...modern au where katniss is with her friends (Annie Johanna Finnick Gale madge....) at a party and they find her the next morning in bed with Peeta?

(582) This could be I Dare You (To Stay) by Thewritershae - thank you @allie-rose

583. justanotherrandomaccount9999 said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! Do you know of a fic where it the story is about each time peeta ruins a cake? I read it before but forgot the title. The last time was when he made Katniss a cake for her birthday but dropped it when she said she was pregnant. Thanks for everything you've done for this fandom btw :)

584. pleasantturtletheorist-blog said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! So this might be a tricky one (bc I don’t remember much of the plot lol) but basically in this fic Peeta was like “don’t deny me post-sex cuddles” or something along those lines hahah. And I remember the scene being really cute but I can’t remember much else about it. I know this is very vague but if you could help I’d really appreciate it!! 🥺🥺

(584) This is possibly Blowout by Annieoakley1. - Thanks to @sunsetsrmydreams

585. yeeyeejones73 said to everlarkficquestions:Hello:) I was wondering if y’all know the name of a fic where it’s canon post mockingjay and everlark is growing back together slowly. I remember peeta gets a boner while Katniss and him are sleeping. I also think Peeta accidentally sees Katniss in only her towel after a shower and it’s super cute and awkward. I hope y’all can help and also thanks for all y’all do!

586. superpineappleenthusiast said to everlarkficquestions:Hey, I'm looking for a fic where the tributes of 74th games escape the arena. Thanks!

587. anonymous-loner95 said to everlarkficquestions:What the fic where Peeta thinks he's about to sleep with some random girl, which I think is actually is Jo, but is tricked into a room with Katniss?

588. thatgirl56834 said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! First of all, I love this blog! You guys rock! I’ve been looking for a one shot I used to read all the time. It was where Katniss and Peeta were friends in middle school and kissed after their dance but then Katniss moved away. Years later they ended up being neighbors and getting together. Peeta lied about who he was at first but then Katniss figured it out. If you know what this fic is, I’d love to read it again! 💗

588 FOUND! Wishes Old and New by Peetasbunmyoven. Thank you, @sunsetsrmydreams and @allie-rose

589. neonsnail said to everlarkficquestions:Hey I'm looking for a fic where peeta meets katniss and she has some kind of vision that if she gets pregnant prim dies and tries to stay away from peeta but she fails and then she sleeps with peeta to try to get pregnant and fails then disappears and they meet again a few years later and become a couple

589 FOUND! The story ha been identified as The Fool by Myusernamehere but unfortunately it has been deleted by the author. Thank you @katnissdoesnotfollowback

590. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions: what’s the fic where Peeta cheats (post mockingjay) on Katniss and because of this she ends up with someone else?

591. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions: Peeta and Katniss are in highschool and Peeta goes to prom with Madge and Katniss goes with Gale. She wears a burgundy dress and at the pre prom thing she meets an old friend from home named Josh.

592. tributeintraining said to everlarkficquestions:I'm looking for a specific fanfic I read years ago. It's a modern AU where Katniss and Gale are in a band together. Katniss is the guitarist and doesn't sing. Gale is married to Madge but was having an affair with Katniss. The public finds out and she leaves the band. She goes solo and starts a PR relationship with Peeta. Her first solo performance is singing "Shake it out". That's all I remember. Thank!

593. supreme-doritos said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! im looking for a fic where the rebellion happens early and the capitol gets overthrown before the 74th hunger games by a tribute (then victor) from district 7. At one point katniss and peeta (who lost his leg in the bombing) look after haymitch but he ends up killing himself so they don't starve during a really harsh winter. Before he dies he asks katniss to give chaff a naked lady mug/glass (i cant remember the name lol sorry) Thank you! I really appreciate you guys <3

593 FOUND! The Avalanche And Little Pebbles by Dyce - thanks to @eggplant8

594. entwodreiquatrocinq-blog said to everlarkficquestions: So i'm looking for this fanfic I read once on FF.net. Peeta and Katniss are intimate in the catching fire arena, and later in district 13, she finds out that she pregnant. Peeta is either in a coma or captured and one of his brothers survived. I believe there is a fight between Katniss and the brother, and he says something like "just because you f'ed my brother in front of the entire country doesn't mean....." That's all I remember, I hope it's specific enough. :)

(594) Possibly The Sharp Edge of Memory by Titania522 - thanks @eggplant8

595. lettrsto said to everlarkficquestions:hi guys!! i can't remember for shit the name of this one shot, i guess it was written for promptsinpanem, where katniss dates gale, but haymitch hates his guts so k&g make a deal w peeta so katniss fake dates peeta while she's actually dating gale behind haymitch's back. can you guys give some help, pretty please? does it ring any light? thank you!!!!

(595) FOUND by the asker! Yours And Mine by Andthisisthewonder

596. jonerys-everlark said to everlarkficquestions:I remember a fanfic where Katniss and Peeta were in the 74th games when Katniss learns that Peeta is with the Careers, she remembers him telling her something (I think) but I know that she then waits until they are gone, and says to the audience something to the effect of , “I have something to say... he has not betrayed me, he is protecting me, as to his confession in the interview, I’m still trying to decide how I feel about it” or something like that, basically, she knows he is on her side an

Do any of these fics ring a bell? Please let us know!

#+#mod post #sunday stumped day #ssd 35 #we're stumped #576-596

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softspiderling · 5 years

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swanky fortune - part six | t.h.

Summary: confessions in an alley, surviving a shovel talk and saying good bye

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Song I listened to while writing: Te Robaré by Nicky Jam feat Ozuna

Author’s Note: IT’S CONFESSION TIME Y’ALL!!! I really really hope you love this chapter, bc I’ve been SQUEALING while writing it. ENJOY!!

Warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol

Word Count: 3,8k

Masterlist

“Hey Tom,” you called out softly and he startled, opening his eyes to look at you. They were wide and vulnerable.

He opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, you beat him to it.

“I like you too.”

Tom‘s eyes widened comically.

“What?” he asked. “Really?”

“Are you kidding? I literally told you when we first met,” you pointed out and he sighed, shaking his head.

“No. It’s not the same.”

He looked upset. You were confused, because didn’t understand what was going on. Was he… Upset because you liked him back? Wasn’t he supposed to be happy about that?

“It’s different when you like me because I’m your celebrity crush. I want you to like me because I’m me, not because I’m Tom Holland.”

You scratched your head with your nails, unsure if you were able to follow his train of thought. “… But you are Tom Holland.”

“You know what I mean,” He squinted his eyes at you, trying to figure out if you were messing with him or not.

“I do, actually, yes,” you sighed and stepped closer to him carefully.

“I like you, Tom, family person, dog person, Harrison person. You’re a bit of a dick, to be honest, but when it comes tough on tough, you take care of your friends, your family, of me.”

You said the last part more quietly and Tom gave you the softest look, a small smile growing on his face. Wow, you were sure you were going to die.

He took your hands in his and laced them together, almost shyly. “And people say it’s complicated to date in our time,” he joked, squeezing your hand.

“I like you a lot,” you said and he furrowed his brows at your answer.

“Why do I sense a ‘but’ coming?”

“But-“

Tom sighed before you could continue, his face falling a bit at your sullen tone.

“But we’ve only known each other for two days. Literally. We can’t just be together. It wouldn’t end well,” you pointed out and he frowned, but nodding nonetheless.

“And you know, considering you’re a world-known actor I want to be completely sure of my feelings for you, before we start being serious. I’ve never dated a celebrity before, but I can imagine very well what kind of baggage you’re lugging around with you.”

You were a bit scared that this would scare Tom off, but you knew that you had to do this to protect yourself and if that scared him off, he wasn’t the person you thought he was.

“No, you make a good point. I want to do this the right way. It’s been a while since I’ve liked someone like this and I don’t want to ruin it before it even starts,” he said and wrinkled his nose cutely.

“Friends for now?”

He looked at you with a conflicted expression on his face.

“Friends,” he then said and wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace.

“What are you doing?” you asked, breathing into his woody perfume, your hand clutching tightly at the back of his suit jacket, material crunching between your fingers.

“Friends can give each other hugs, right?”

Rolling your eyes, you forced down the growing smile on your face and sighed softly, leaning your head on his chest, allowing yourself this closeness for a hot minute before you pulled away reluctantly.

Looking up at him, you took a deep breath to calm your nerves, giving him a shy smile. His eyes were trained on you while his arms hung loosely around your waist. Your faces were only inches away, you were standing so close, you could feel his warm breath on your cheek bones, a hint of beer engulfing your nose.

You’ve never liked the smell of beer more.

Tom then lifted his hand to your cheek and instead of tucking your hair back like you were thought he was going to do, he swiped his thumb over your temple.

“You’re really sweaty,” he observed, eyeing the sweat drops on his thumb and you yelped, swatting his hand away.

“Shut up! I am not used to this weather!” you glared at him. “It’s not like I have five different people swarming around me to keep me looking fresh and cool all the time!”

Huffing, your narrowed your eyes at him with a pout and he laughed, his eyes crinkling before he swiftly dipped down to capture your lips in a kiss.

Your eyes widened at first, not having expected him to kiss you, but you recovered quickly, your grip on his waist tightening and you kissed him back, pressing into him, your lips gliding over his smoothly.

Tom cupped your face with both his hands and then he was licking into your mouth with his tongue and you were pretty sure you let out a small whine.

It’s been a while since you’ve been kissed like this, like you two were the only people left on earth, like he was drowning and you were his oxygen.

You felt his mouth curve up in a grin and you bit down on his lower lip gently in return, causing him to grumble, pulling you even closer. Tom’s finger tips were tracing along your jaw and he gave you one long final kiss, before he pulled away, his cheeks red.

A bit dazed, you cleared your throat and reached up to wipe your lipstick off his mouth.

“I’m pretty sure friends don’t do this,” you said quietly and he gave you a cheeky grin, taking your hand and pressing a kiss on the back of it.

“I couldn’t help myself when you were looking at me like that.”

“I was literally roasting you, Tom.”

Tom shrugged and ran his hands down your arms, causing you to shiver despite the warm weather.

“Maybe I’m into that sort of thing,” he quipped and you gasped in shock.

“Tom!”

Suddenly, the metal door was pushed open and the two of you sprung apart when Harrison stepped out, raising an eyebrow at the scene in front of him.

“Mate, they’re looking for you,” Harrison said, gesturing towards the crowd.

“Right, of course,” Tom replied, squeezing your shoulder. “We’ll talk later, okay?”

Giving him a brief nod, you watched him leave and your eyes fell on Harrison, who just smirked at you.

“What?”

“You just have a little-“ Harrison wiped at the corner of his mouth with his thumb and when you mirrored his action, your thumb came away stained with red lipstick.

You flushed and bumped your shoulder into Harrison’s on your way back inside, while he followed you clutching his stomach in laughter.

The rest of the night passed in kind of a blur, you sipping on your wine and joking around with the boys, getting introduced to Tom’s costars, while you and him were constantly searching for each other at the crowded party, exchanging smiles and winks.

Honestly, you were still as clueless as you were five hours before. He liked you. You liked him. You agreed to stay friends for now. And then he kissed you. And now you were back at the beginning. You haven’t found another opportunity for you two to talk and you were already headed home the next morning, you were aware of how little time you had left.

The party was nearing its end, guests slowly trickling out and you were at your fourth wine glass, feeling the buzz of it faintly.

“You ready to go?” Sam asked, leaning against the counter.

“What? Do you mean if I am ready to return to my old life where I’m not treated as a VIP anymore?” you joked and he cracked a smile, shaking his head.

“I’m sure you’ll be fine Y/N. We don’t want it to get to your head.”

“Har har,” you scoffed and pushed your chair back, getting up. “Is Tom coming with us?”

Sam looked around the room, squinting his eyes as if that would help him spot Tom in midst of the crowd of people. “I don’t think so? I haven’t seen him for a while either.”

You deflated a bit and he raised an eyebrow at you, making you flush a bit. Out of the five boys you had spent the least time with Sam, so you weren’t sure where you stood with him. It wasn’t because you didn’t like him, he wasn’t just as easy to approach to as the rest of them.

He was more timid than the rest of them. Which wasn’t that hard, the rest of them were extremely extroverted.

“Sooo a little birdie told me that you guys were caught in a rather… Dicey situation,” Sam said and you scoffed, turning your head away in embarrassment. So he was a dumbass, just like the rest of them. Good to know. You knew how to handle those.

“You don’t even need to be so cryptic, I know Harrison told you guys.”

“What did I tell whom?”

You groaned and put your head on the counter when Harry and Harrison joined you. Well, this was going to be fun.

“You told me that Tom and Y/N were snogging,” Sam reminded the blonde and Harry gasped, hitting your arm repeatedly in mock offense.

“You guys kissed?! Why didn’t you tell me!”

“Could you guys stop yelling?” You hissed, glaring at them. “I don’t need everyone to know about this.”

“You like him right?”

Surprised at that question, you looked at Sam, thinking he was joking, but his eyebrows were drawn too tight for him to be joking.

“What? Yeah of course I do.”

Harrison rubbed your shoulder comfortingly, his joke-y manner from seconds earlier vanishing into thin air.

“Hey, we weren’t asking to offend you,” he said. “Tom just- He doesn’t have the best dating history. And it’s been hard for him date ever since he’s got all eyes on him. It doesn’t help that he falls in love like he does everything else: fast, without thinking and all of his heart.”

“Hold on, wait a minute,” you interrupted Harrison, holding a hand up, both to allow yourself to catch up and to ask for a clarification. You were still a bit hazy from all the wine and this seemed important. You wanted to understand all of it correctly.

“Falling in love? He just told me that he liked me and we had one kiss. Who’s even talking about falling in love?”

“You know what I mean Y/N. I’m just trying to tell you to be honest with him,” Harrison sighed.

Are you seriously getting the shovel talk right now?

“Don’t play with his heart, okay?” Harry added.

Wow, you really were! But seeing their worried expressions refrained you from cracking a joke about it. This seemed to be genuinely important to them.

“I was honest and I always will be honest to him. And I really like him, okay? I just- want to do this slowly and the right way. We have time. We don’t need to rush anything,” you said, picking at your nails to avoid their piercing eyes.

“We weren’t expecting anything else,” Harrison told you and clapped your back playfully.

“So,” he started, clearing his face and judged by the grin on his face, the serious part of the conversation was over. “Who kissed whom?”

And you were right.

“Were you guys just kissing or actually snogging?”

“Was it good?”

“On a scale of he was slobbering like a dog to the kiss was so good you’re swooning about it to your best friend, what ranking would you give the kiss?”

“Oh my god!”

Before any of the boys could pressure you into answering those ridiculous questions, Harrison’s phone beeped and his eyebrows when he checked it, eyes scanning the screen.

“Our car is here, Tom said we should get Y/N back to her hotel first and then head home,” he told you and you frowned at that. While you grabbed your stuff to leave, you looked around everywhere, trying to find Tom, but you were unsuccessful.

Whipping your phone out, you opened your text chain with Tom, your fingers swiping over the screen.

You: Hey, are you coming with us?

You then proceeded to stare at the screen for a couple minutes, but the status of the message never changed to read.

“Hey Y/N, our car is here!”

“I’m coming!” You yelled back and slipped your phone into your purse, hurrying outside to climb into the open car door.

“Were you looking for Tom?” Harry asked and you nodded, leaning back in your seat. You really had to work on your poker face.

“He said he had to take care of something important and will be home later,” Harrison said.

“Makes sense,” you sighed and leaned your head back on the headrest of the seat, closing your eyes. You hadn’t realized how tired you actually were.

As the driver stopped in front of the hotel, you looked at the three boys with a heavy heart. The bad thing about getting along so well with all of them was that it made saying goodbye so much harder.

“Oh jeez, look at you,” Harrison groaned and you frowned, pursing your lips.

“What?” You asked defensively.

“You look like you’re about to cry,” Sam said as the three of them unbuckled themselves.

“We’ll bring you to your room,” Harry announced and shooed you out of the car.

“You guys realize we’re parked literally in front of the hotel, right?”

The boys waved it off while the four of you walked inside the well-lit hotel, headed straight for the elevator.

“Yeah but Tom would never forgive us if anything happened to you,” Harrison shrugged and you snorted, turning away to press the button to the elevator and hide your pink cheeks at the same time.

“Don’t be stupid,” you huffed and stepped into the elevator when the doors opened smoothly.

Harry snorted and leaned against the carpeted wall. “You’re the one being stupid. Three out of four people agree on that.”

“Damn I’m really not going to miss you trying to roast me,” you sighed and exited the elevator, striding to your room door with big steps.

“Oh please,” Harrison scoffed, hurrying after you with the twins in tow. “One week without us and you’ll wish we’ll be there to annoy you.”

Rolling your eyes fondly, you unlocked your door and glanced back at the boys, smiling at them.

“Thanks for bringing me up,” you said softly and the twins grinned at you. You hugged each of them tightly and Harrison rubbed your back when it was his turn.

“I’m sure we’ll see each other soon enough,” he whispered and you wished it were true. You wished for a deep friendship to blossom between all of you, but you were a realist. You knew that there was no way a friendship like that could be possible. How would it? You lived in completely different countries, lead completely different lives and ran in different social circles.

Pulling away, you teared up a bit to your embarrassment and Harry laughed, ruffling your hair.

“Aw come on, don’t be sad, we can text and send each other memes all the time.”

“Yeah don’t be a stranger,” Sam said and you looked up to the ceiling to blink the tears away. Wow, how embarrassing.

“I’m not crying, there was something in my eye,” You mumbled out a lie and the boys laughed, waving as they walked to the elevator.

“Sleep tight, Y/N!”

“See you soon!”

Waving good bye, you shut the door with a long sigh, you before you fumbled around with your phone, checking the notifications as the screen lit up.

No new messages.

“Ugh,” You groaned in frustration and tossed your purse on the bed. Yawning, you headed to the bathroom and stretched your stiff arms, before you stripped down and took off the make-up that has been sitting on your face and clogging up your pores. Sometimes you really asked yourself why you always bothered with it.

Your eyes kept glancing to your phone screen as you wiped the make-up off bit by bit, but by the time you threw a bunch of dirty cotton pads into the trash can, the phone still hadn’t made a noise.

Glaring at it, you stepped into the shower and shut the glass doors behind you, turning the water on. As you were slathering some shampoo on your head, you heard your phone give of a ping; followed by a second one.

You stilled, the foam running down your hair and you contemplated getting out to get a quick peek at your phone, wondering if it was Tom finally getting back to you.

Turning the shower off, you grabbed a towel and dried your hand off, reaching for your phone, while the water was running down your body to form a puddle on the floor.

Luisa: Hey when are you landing tomorrow?🧐

Luisa: do you want to grab lunch/dinner after you land?

“Oh my god,” you moaned and put the phone on the counter, the screen facing down.

You haven’t been waiting for someone to text you like this since high school. It was like being sixteen year old again and waiting for your crush to finally text you the answer of your “what are you up you?” text. The only difference was, that you were (kind of) an adult now and you were waiting on a reply from Tom freaking Holland.

You got back in the shower, the foam running down your hair and finished washing yourself off before you got out again, wrapping yourself in a towel.

“Stop acting like a teenager,” you grumbled to yourself and grabbed your dirty clothes, returning to your bedroom.

After putting your Pajamas on, and packing your suitcase, it was nearing one am and you climbed into bed with your phone in your hand (Tom still hasn’t texted you back).

You set your alarm for the next morning, before plugging the phone in and putting on the nightstand, snuggling in your bed.

The adrenaline from that day was still high, you couldn’t believe how much has happened: you had managed to make a fool of yourself in front Zendaya, got to watch the new Spider-Man movie and had Tom confess his feelings for you and you guys kissed! All in one day!

Rubbing your eyes, you shut them tightly, hoping sleep would come soon and that maybe a text from Tom would be waiting for you in the morning.

As you were about to drift off, you heard your phone ping.

Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

You squeezed your eyes shut and even though your fingertips were burning, you waited for another second, not wanting to seem too eager before you turned around to grab your phone.

Tom: Hey sorry I had to take care of some important stuff, they wouldn’t let me leave with you x

Tom: I’m really sorry that I couldn’t get back to you earlier😪

Tom: did you get back home safely? x

Your smile widened as you read over the texts, and you felt the relief spread through your body.

Honestly, you were starting to think he was ghosting you, maybe the kiss was bad or he met someone amazing. But you were glad that it was only your insecurities getting to you.

You: it’s okay, I get it. Important movie star and all

You: yes of course I did. Didn’t your brothers or haz tell you I did?

Your heart warmed the status of your messages immediately jumped from delivered to read, and the ellipses appeared on his side, before disappearing again.

You almost dropped your phone when it suddenly rang and you saw Tom’s name flash across the screen.

“Hi Tom,” You said as you picked up your phone.

You heard rustling from the other side of the line and you wondered if this was a pocket dial, before you finally heard him speak.

“Hey love, sorry I thought calling you would be easier,” he said, his voice deep and gravelly. He sounded tired.

“It’s fine. Are you okay?” You asked and sat up, turning the lamp on.

Tom sighed and in your mind you could see him running his hand through his hair.

“Yeah, just tired. I forgot how stressful premieres can be. How did you like it though?”

You smiled and played with the thread of your blanket. “I had a lot of fun. Even without you running around me in circles like a headless chicken.”

He laughed and it made you feel warm all over.

“I’m sure Haz and the twins kept you entertained, huh?”

“Mhmh,” You hummed. “Them and every celebrity I ran into.”

A silence and you leaned back in your bed, unsure if you were supposed to say something.

“I know we didn’t finish our conversation,” he then said and you wrinkled your nose, remembering.

“Yeah, that was rather unfortunate.”

“Do you want me to come over right now? I just need to grab a shower,” he offered and you almost wanted to cry. This boy had so much on his plate right now and he was offering to come over at two am in the morning to talk.

“No, it’s fine. I know you’re tired. You should go to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah, I’ll bring you to the airport,” Tom replied, relief evident in his voice.

You smiled a small smile and closed your eyes. “Okay. Good night Tom.”

“Sleep well, love,” he said softly and you ended the call, falling back in your bed with a wistful sigh. You plugged your phone back in and rolled over in the bed, sleep soon catching up with you.

Your alarm woke you up too early for your taste, so you allowed yourself five minutes of snoozing before you forced yourself up to start getting ready and finish up packing.

You weren’t sure if you were excited to go back home or if the excitement came from knowing you were about to see Tom again, but you were humming while zipping up your suitcase. And it seemed like you were just in time, as a sharp knock sounded at the door, making you jump up.

Racing to the door, you opened it with a big smile, already talking a mile a minute.

“Hey, I thought we could grab some breakfast before-“ Your words died down when you saw an unfamiliar man stand in front of the door instead of Tom. He was wearing some sort of uniform, but you couldn’t quite tell what kind it was.

“Uhm, sorry, you must be at the wrong door,” you said awkwardly and the man frowned, peeking at his phone in his hand.

“Are you not Ms. Y/L/N?”

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise. What could he possibly want from you?

“Yes. I am. And you are…?”

The man nodded and gave you a polite smile.

“You can call me Felix. I am here to pick you up for the airport.”

Wait, what?

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notjustanotherruka · 7 years

Text

National Coming Out Day

Written October 11th, 2017

30 years ago today, there was a march on Washington, DC, consisting of gay/queer activists wanting to make issues and awareness known. The biggest march, with the highest attendance, and the largest scope, ever. Wowza. Kind of a big deal... and by "kinda", I mean "holy shit". 😧 I've also come to realize that quite a few of the LGBTQ and supporters as a whole don't know that information about this day. I've read a lot of posts and articles already today about people's coming out stories, being proud of being out, supporting those around them - their hope, struggles, pride, and individualism... I've also read a handful of storys about why this day shouldn't exist. A couple were hard to read; a couple resonated with me. I went for a run, thought it over, and I decided I wanted to share a memory. A little story, if you will.

My prequel coming out story. And why this day is important.

What the hell is a coming out story? The first time you have realization of how your mind and body might operate differently from those around you? Finally putting a label on it? Kissing your first same-sex person? Dating? Telling someone how you identify for the first time? Sex? //gooood lawd, already I have like... 15 coming out stories. 😂 Ain't nobody got time for that right now. I'll just pick one, thanks. //

1999. I was 11? 12. Whatever, math is hard. Sixth grade. Band nerd, choir nerd, bookworm, teachers pet, student council prez, avid Pokémon and Magic the Gathering player, Nintendo fiend. I was the kid who liked everyone, and everyone liked me. I wasn't super close with a ton of people, but I was easy to be around and I think other kids liked that. I also knew I didn't like boys; I'd known that for a long time. Still, I didn't think that meant anything other than books>boys. //lemme preface that I still feel that way, only it's books>most people bc well, people are silly sometimes. Books are forever. // Anywho, I got in my head that there was something I longed for. Dreamed about. Gushed over, and fantasized about. I couldn't stop. I couldn't get it out of my head, and when I finally got the point where I couldn't take it anymore, I decided I had to tell my mom.

I wanted a perm.

I wanted a perm so bad. SO BAD. I could smell the perm smell. I could feel those curly, dark locks and I could picture the cute looks I was going to rock so hard. I wanted somewhere between Jessi Spano of Saved By the Bell and Janet Jackson's Relvet Rope album cover, and damn it, nothing was going to stop me. My mother wasn't so optimistic. Whatever. I begged. I begged better than anyone had, or has since, ever begged in the history of time itself. And FINALLY... I got my appointment. YAS.

You guys. It. Was.

Amazing.

I strutted outta that salon feeling like four weeks of allowance. It was perfect. My hair was so long that after the perm, the curls fell right at the middle of my back, and the lady had even made them cute and crunchy for me. // you know what I'm talking about. Like, crunchy. You know. // I went home knowing I was going to need to set aside at least four hours to decide what I was going to wear the next day. My mom took my picture on the back deck, and I'm not kidding - I seriously considered ruining the rest of the 110mm film in the roll so that I could go to walmart and have them developed. // Eh, hindsight is 20/20. It would have taken 5 days to get them back. It's film, people. // I was on cloud 9 when my head hit the pillow that night. I'm pretty sure I WAS Jessi in my dreams. Tomorrow was going to be Glorious.

Morning sun. Outfit selected. Towel in hand. Shower. Smiling in the mirror as I got ready to make these curls as cool as I felt. I'll just give them a good brush, and... ...the brush didn't move. 😐 I couldn't even get my fingers through it. I started to sweat. My super thick, super long, super dark, gorgeous hair was now a bird's wet dream for house building. Fudge. //jsyk, my 6th grade self was totally saying fuck over and over again. Also, again hindsight is 20/20, and go figure... maaaaybe my mom wasn't wrong. Notice how I didn't say she was right, buuuut. You know. Moms. //

So the perm was a disaster. Of course it was. My solution for the next six months ended up being massive amounts of Biologe conditioner, and then leaving in the Biologe conditioner. // notice how I didn't say I used 'leave-in' conditioner; I literally LEFT IN the conditioner. Whatever. It worked. And I got the crunchy look without a ton of other products. Win/win? 🙄// Anywho, six long months of that bullshit until finally my hair had grown out enough that I could think about getting it cut and starting over. Mom helped me make the appointment, and the locks ended up being gone. Phew. Sweet, sweet relief.

I'd never had hair that short. My sister had, bc she played soccer and it was just easier for her to have that cute, sports girl hair. I had always had super long hair. Always. It took me a few minutes to decide whether I wanted to cry or celebrate the liberation of my neck and scalp. I decided to celebrate. Short hair was pretty cool. School was different too. Everyone we so surprised, but responded really well! I had a hang out date with my best guy friend after school too, so hey - it ended being a good first day of short hair!

I walked to my friends house. I hadn't had time to hang with him all day. He was an eighth grader, so you know, life's busy when you're old. Finally got to his house, tossed down my bag, and sat on the steps how we always sat. We started talking, and he stopped all of a sudden. With a quizzical look, he stated, "Seriously, your hair kinda makes you look like a dike."

I punched him. Square in the nose. Blood everywhere. I didn't even know what that meant, but I didn't like how it felt or the way he said it. I didn't even grab my bag, i just started stomping home. Fuming and crying, I don't even really remember the mile long walk. My dad was sitting in his chair when I got home, and he asked what was wrong. I didn't answer, but he saw the blood on my hand and asked if I was ok. I told him someone had called me a name and I punched him for it. My dad tried not to laugh and said that wasn't nice to call me names, and he was glad I stood up for myself... but maybe not to punch people. Fine. I needed to get outta this convo to get to the computer anyway.

Dike : something about water and a wall or spillway or the sea... what the hecks. Yikes, maybe I shouldn't have punched him. Why the hell did he call me this? Next search : Dike hair. Huh. // ...much like my mother, this kid ALSO hadn't been wrong. My hair was this hair. But the spelling was off. Dyke. Also, the word 'lesbian' kept coming up. //

Next search. Lesbian. Women who like and date other women. // lezbehonest, there were OTHER sites that popped up too, but I knew better than to click on them. #goodkid // Women who date women. Girls who like girls. Girls who don't like boys like that. Omg. This... this made sense. It explained why I had such a crush on my third grade teacher. It made sense why I liked playing Pokémon with my girl friend versus my guy friend. It made sense why I had ZERO inclination to ever KISS a boy. The thought wasn't gross. It was WRONG. UGH. //keep in mind, I was 11. These are the things I remember vividly as the connecting pieces to finally having a name to call my feelings. I can already hear someone ripping this to shreds about how these aren't true indications of human sexuality, blah blah blah... whatever. Go die grumpy about it; this is my story. //

I felt enlightenment. I felt clarity. I felt like I was ok. I could be ok. There were other people like me that didn't like boys, and they were older, so that means maybe if I still don't like boys later... I can like girls. And it can be ok. That was the first time ever feeling that way.

It's October 11, 2017. 30 years ago, a lot of really cool people marched, and one direct effect it had on me was this: I could be told I looked like a dyke. I could research what that was. I could find answers and clarity and not feel alone. They marched for awareness and rights, and bc of that, information was made available to me. My story is part of their story, and it helped mold my Coming Out Story, Vol. 1.

Pretty fucking cool. Also, you never know what might happen as aftermath of an action, so maybe just...

get the perm. ✌🏼

#nationalcomingoutday gay queer comingoutstory out

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survivorsolomonislands · 7 years

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Episode 1 Part 1 "Hit the Ground Walking” - Matt

YALL IM FUCKING SCREWED!!! I don’t think Karen likes me that much - she’s close with Linus. Who by the way has me blocked on facebook. So I pretty much have no options on this tribe and I’m completely fucking fucked. I’m just gonna try to band together with people who don’t talk as much and aren’t all that outspoken and aren’t cliquey and work with them to save myself bc RN!!! im looking like first boot!!!

give me like 10 idols now

oh so now you guys put a link up while ive been talking to myself for the past 2 hours.

i’m going to stab everyone with this machete and the only person who can stop me is on the other tribe (jk i love everyone here except for like the one person who hasnt responded to me yet)

“if you know how i feel then why would you say that like you put me in such an uncomfortable situation like you know I’m not happy” how this freak win all the games lately

so it’s crazy johnny is in this game and i have him blocked i hate myself huh? and monty is talking to me and ryan is so i hope i am good with this tribe i am nervous, but ready.

Oh wow. Im-back-bitches.gif. So this tribe is something else. There Karen Lexi and RTP and Karen wants us to make a solid four, but I can count and that leaves 6 people out, and 6>4 so we need at least one if not two more people. My picks are chrissa because I have a good relationship with her already, and then maybe Mitchell because we’ve been talking the most. And then if Lexi know Zachariah then that’s another one. Beyond that, there’s Dana and some other people who I can’t remember 🙃 I know I’ve been talking to one of them but idk who that is and I don’t have the energy tonight to figure it out lol.

So basically the plan for the next few days until I get back to the us is to build groundwork relationships and try to find a solid 6 to stay with until a swap or merge.

Star- They still haven’t come online and I am hoping that they are painfully inactive so we have an excuse to vote someone out first!

Johnny- Haven’t talked to him but at least he has accepted my contact request and like said he wouldn’t be here. He is a frat guy and some of these people are not who frat guys would typically hang out with so he might be an outsider

L.A.- I wanted to work with her since I saw her intro she is super chill and seems really smart I like her A LOT! If I am making an alliance she will be in it

Kaya- She’s super sweet and honestly a little angel I love her so much

Luca- Really annoying but seems to like me. He is an experienced orger so who knows maybe he’ll be in my alliance also He’s talked to Kaya a lot

Lily- I know she can beast a comp so she needs to stay on my good side. She is one of the experienced newbies and she is aware of how I play at least a little bit so I am not sure how long I want her here

Aromal- Nice guy! Kept asking me questions about everything which was sweet because it makes me seem like a good person and that im looking out for him!. Honestly his time zone might be an issue but if I stay up super late and search for an idol I can blame it on him because that will be in the middle of the day for him

Allie- She is a little SWEETHEART I LOVE HER SO MUCH! She seems super innocent nd like honestly someone I’d want to have under my wing She’s a newbie and I feel like she will be loyal to me since I talked to her right away and am helping her get used to this

Daisy- Shes gorgeous and I enjoy her company but not someone I am loyal too yet, She seems a little suspicious and kinda distant because she left me on read!

My general strategy is to align with the newbies who haven’t played orgs ever. From what I’ve noticed Lily and Daisy aren’t super strong socially so If I can get L.A. Kaya Luca and Allie all together it will be a strong alliance of 5 and I can keep them on the outside. Hopeuflly star isn’t here so we can vote them out first like easy vote, but if they arrive super late I might as well talk to them a lot to make them feel safe and be the first person to reach out to them. I love the tribe so much and I hope it isn’t chaotic, but I am going to play for sure, I want to form an alliance and start to get things rolling

Welp! I guess i’m fuckin back here to ruin my life again!

I’m starting off the same way I started off in Malaysia - forming good relationships with people. And while that may have unknowingly landed me into a minority, the relationships I formed still allowed me to pretty successful and arguably run the table during the pre-merge, setting myself up for a perfect post-merge run that was only ruined by… Applebee’s.

The one thing I should’ve done was parlayed those early relationships into more tangible early alliances. Jenn and Jimmy wouldn’t have voted Kendall out if they didn’t have an early alliance with, and inherent trust in, Isabelle; that was my undoing, and I aim to rectify that. Let’s see who we’ve talked to so far. There’s Ryan; we were talking a lot about stuff, and I feel like we’ve easily got the foundation there for a strategic allegiance. He’s confided in me that he’s worried about his position on this tribe given his history with some of these players; I can either utilize that to my advantage and make him a number, or he could be an easy third first boot. I don’t want him to be a first boot because I feel like I can work with him, but it’s good to have options.

Zakriah is probably the person I’ve talked to the most after that. We’ve got a lot of similar thoughts on Survivor and we’ve clicked really well, so I think we could easily work together strategically. She seems like she’d be a lot of fun to bop with throughout this game. She did, though, like Ryan, confide in me that she’s worried about her position in the game, given that Linus has her blocked on Facebook; another situation that leaves me with options, which is good.

Speaking of Linus, we’ve been speaking a fair amount and have reasonably bonded to some extent. I like him, and I hope that he and Zakriah don’t end up going against each other. I’ve also been talking to Dana a similar amount, and think that we’re good with each other for now, at least in terms of forging early relationships. Monty and I haven’t spoken a terrific amount, but I’m optimistic about that relationship as well.

I don’t know Karen or Lexi that well coming into this, but we’ve played games together before when they were honorary members of the Malaysia reunion chat, so there’s some familiarity there. I think I’d rather work with Lexi than Karen, but I’ll take whatever I can get. I’m disappointed in myself for failing to capitalize on these relationships more than I have to this point, but I can amend that moving forward.

I tried talking with Chrissa and she kind of just disappeared so… you’re my first boot choice :)

And Matt… the kid’s weird! It’s like picking teeth talking with him because he responds in very curt answers that make conversing difficult. But I think we actually get along and might be aligned???? But I’ve got nO FUCKIN CLUE LMFAO I honestly don’t know whether he ever means anything he’s saying and it’s just… we’re gonna watch this boy.

As for the fans I just want to fuck up the frat boy as soon as I can lmfao anybody who says that “I’m probably more unique than anyone you have seen before” makes me wanna vomit and ima laugh when I whoop his ass

I’m gonna fuck shit up :) let’s do this binches

Whew! This cast (my tribe atleast) is pretty social right off the bat. I think I’m off to a decent start, but as it stands I’m still terrified of being first boot. Alright so mini cast assessment

Jacob - Easily the most social so far. I would bet my left pinky that he has sucked up to everyone so far. He’s sweet but he seems like the type that will pretend to be your best friend then backstab you once you’re a liability to him. Good gameplay to get to the end but won’t get the jury.

Luca - My fav so far. He seems like a guy I would hate on paper but he’s super charming and likable. I would bet on him going far.

Kaya - She’s okay, we have something in similar in that we both feel like fish outta water so I might align with her.

Johnny - yikes @ that intro

Lily - sweet, likable

Zakriah - Omg so Zak is one of my best friends in the Wikia ORG community and I cant wait to meet up with him if we both make to the swap.

Linus - Another friend from the Wikia community ! Linus and Zak have a love-hate (mostly hate) relationship so its gonna be interesting to see if they work it out.

So right off the bat I feel like I hit the ground walking I guess. I’m trying to take things slow and kinda get to know people but so far there’s so many people and they honestly seem indistinguishable. I definitely need to get my ass in an alliance sooner than later though and I’m tryna work with Chrissa rn and just get meself some numbers. Wish me luck.

https://youtu.be/1TPDpOdcaP4

Ok so I am going to try and work on something in this game that I feel like I usually fail at. And its my social game. I feel like my social game is generally pretty good for pre-merge it fails once we hit merge. I want to really get some strong relationships on this tribe before a swap or merge happens. My only roadblocks are Karen and Lexi. I know both of them already and I feel like me working on my social game with them is just going to come off fake, plus I don’t know if they actually want to work with me or not. Let’s see how this goes. Right off the back I feel like I hit it off with Mitchell. He is someone I could see going far into this game with. We have similar senses of humor and were immediately talking a lot last night. He seems to be nervous about his perception as well so he could be someone I work with well i that regard. Also y'all really cast some all stars when the first thing chrissa said to me was that she was nervous to be in a game with steffen again….hun….pls

So when the Idol thing came up OBVIOUSLY I wanted to go hunting bc unlike Malaysia I didn’t have to search tumblr tags like “suicide” and “depression” to find safety… BUT having other people know I might be searching was a big no-no for me.

So what I DID do was stay up late, tell everyone I was going to bed, and then about half an hour later I went searching for the Idol. There were only two people up to begin with it seemed - I would’ve preferred it if there had been nobody - but I don’t think anyone suspects me. I didn’t find it, but that doesn’t matter so long as nobody thinks that I had anything to do with this. There’s always the chance that it backfired and that people DO think it was me but… I don’t know about thaaaaaaaaaat.

For one, by the time I woke up, Ryan told me that both Matt and Chrissa were interested in an alliance with him and myself. That’s good in and of itself, but Chrissa was one of the two people awake during my sneaky shenanigans - I don’t think she’d want to work with me if she knew I was super sneaky!! And Dana was talking to me about it, and I pretended like I didn’t even know someone had gone. “WHAT???? Someone looked for an IDOL??? No WAY!!!” My relationship to this point with Dana is painting myself like an emotional and stressed wreck so that she can relate to me and that she would underestimate me; based on the way I’ve portrayed myself to Dana thus far and my claims that an Idol search like this is way too stressful for me, I’d wager that she would bet it wasn’t me.

I could always end up looking like a fool but I thought this scheme was so fun and so far it looks like it’s working!! The only way to make it better would be to stir up some mistrust between the others about who it could’ve been. I’ll regret it if I’m first boot but I’m fuckin dancin rn :~)

So someone is looking for the idol already… interesting. It’s easy to cancel out the people who were speaking in the tribe chat a few minutes after the idol is being looked for, which is good. I could easily go into my tribe chat and explain it to people that if we all just write in our tribe chat, it’ll help to cancel people out who AREN’T looking for the idol, but I’m not gonna pull that card just yet. Let’s see if it becomes an issue. Looking for the idol on day one probably won’t get a lot of people a lot of luck. There are bound to be clues along the way, and hopefully I can snag some of those, but I’m sure already some of those items on the boat had clues in them, or even punishments, but it seems like I didn’t get either of those since I haven’t been notified about anything

oops too late

I couldn’t even control myself LMFAO

Honestly, I don’t know why I enroll myself into these games. I hate talking to people, but I still have to do it, even though I know most of these people just lay on their asses all the time and do nothing, so I don’t know how I’m going to compete when I actually have legitimate responsibilities besides going to high school for 6 hours a day and then laying on their asses for the other 18

https://youtu.be/xc0XCUl3Pfo

Well the survivor train is officially leaving the station, I have assembled my first alliance with Chrissa, Mitchell, and Ryan. Of course Chrissa will be my number one, I mean she shared her clue with me without me even asking like that’s my kind of ally. I was kind of hoping I could work with Karen this time around but RIP it already seems like I may have started throwing her under the bus, she just made the mistake of saying she was friends with Nigel and people noticed that and I’m not gonna put my neck on the line for her. Sorry? I am for sure playing to win this game, I don’t just wanna be on this train I wanna be the mofucking conductor.

g o d I don’t wanna be that person but I absolutely hate that RPDR has to be involved with the challenge. I hate how closely it’s intertwined with the TS community, and I can never stand hearing about it. Like… I always feel like I’m overreacting, but the whole concept just seems so transphobic (not to mention that RuPaul himself IS transphobic as hell), and it just doesn’t feel like an accepting community when something like that gets discussed so often. And I always hate talking about it because I always feel like I’m just overreacting, and… hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I just wish that people would realize how inherently harmful it is towards trans girls, and that it creates and fuels the stereotype that trans girls are just men in dresses and makeup. Because that’s what the dr*g q***ns on the show are. And I know this is probably not the kinda thing to put in confessionals but? Whatever, I need somewhere to put it and discourse will start if I put it in tribe chat or on my Tumblr blog.

I tried to help out in this challenge despite not knowing what tumblr is even though I’m a returning player and my entire life was came at so hard so I’m just gonna…..not

I’m the absolute worst and have completely forgotten to give a confessional this whole time so I’m probably gonna get a shitty edit oops. Anyway I’m really tired right now so I’m not sure if what I’m gonna say will make sense but a lot has happened so far I guess. I created a core alliance which includes me, Luca, Jacob and LA. They’re all super nice people and I’m hoping I can go far with them in the game. Some of the people on my tribe I just haven’t connected well with and I’m having trouble talking to them. Also Jacob told me he searched for an idol, which is crazy information that I posses, but I trust him so far so of course I’m not gonna tell anyone. I’m still a little bit confused about somethings but I’m a lot less confused then I was at the start. Also I’m not sure what 90% of the things Isaac say are because he always deletes his messages lmao.

So I accidentally forgot that Star was on our tribe because he never talks, oops. Anyway I tried personal messaging him and asked him if he’s found any interesting posts for our challenge and he said not really. I’m not sure if he’s just shy and confused or if its that he doesn’t want to try but whatever. Anyway I’m gonna be kinda pissed if we loose this challenge because like I’ve accidentally ran into way too much furry porn while searching through these tags.

It’s the third day and I still haven’t done one of these, so I figured I might as well start. This has been a really fun start to the season, the tribe seems really chill and laid back and I feel I’m getting along with a few people. Am I in a good position in the tribe? It’s too early to say. Right now I’m still just focusing on getting to know my fellow castaways!

Possibly the people I’ve been talking to the most are Kaya and Jacob. They’re really nice, and we’re also in an alliance with LA together. I really feel this has a high chance at succeeding.

The odd one out seems to be Star. He seems completely uninvolved and in case we get to tribal, my vote will probably go on him.

But yeah, fun tribe, fun start, and I’m looking to do as well as possible.

So you know how people are always like “I just wanna meet new people and have fun” and how I always say that? I feel like I am actually doing that. This challenge is mindless so it requires no real effort. I have been spending my time trying to make bonds with these people I didn’t know before and it is so much fun! I am legitimately enjoying my time in this game so far.

#thequeenstaysqueen

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