#my akaashi keiji angst | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blucassiopeia · 1 year

Text

Spectrum

"A prelude spin-off for an upcoming fic"

warnings: afab!reader, fluff, angst, surprising, 6.8k LONG

An Akaashi Keiji x reader one shot, yes or maybe not? let's see

a/n: felt like writing this rn so i can have a week free of preludes and continue with the main fic, hopefully as i work through being a useful citizen; a bit of meh in the end because it's originally a bonus chap but i decided to incorporate it here

"How would you want our first kiss?"

You never whipped your head that fast all your life, it felt like it was gonna rip out of your neck. He was copying the notes he missed out of your classmates' but his face was beet red beside you, sweat beading at the side of his face eventhough the room's airconditioned. Your look was incredulous, and you started laughing so hard you knocked off your pens due to your fist hitting hard your desk.

He scowled, "Nevermind."

"W-wait," and you continued laughing.

His scowl deepened and he side-eyed you and went back to writing. Classmates were looking already to the sound of your laugh, others were already infected and started snorting and giggling on their seats.

Your laugh curbed to a breathy laugh to a giggle and you scooch over to him more and whispered, "D'you want to kiss me?"

He continued copying, huffing as he goes and done, closing his notes and turning his face to you. You felt his minty breath from the energy bar he had for snacks.

"Of course." whispering back, holding your eye contact for a few seconds and his gaze went down to your lips and you felt like you can't breathe when his gaze came back to your eyes. You swallowed hard.

There was never a time when you won't feel like your heart will skip a beat when you interact with Akaashi Keiji, but on times like this, it doesn't. Instead, it gives your heart an extra beat and a thousand monsters would go wild in your gut, you wanna run away screaming his name until your chords give up. You wonder if he knows that. You wonder if he feels that.

"But not here. Inappropriate." You snorted and sat properly, shoulders brushing his as he, too, leaned back, resting his head and back from a 30-minute write.

"Hmmm," you hummed, lifting your chin up, thinking about his question. How would you like your first kiss? Well, this is not your first kiss. You had your first kiss stolen during middle school at a school festival. Not to worry, Keiji knows it already.

You bit your lip when you realized that if your fantasies happen, fantasies you're about to spill to him now to answer his question, it'll be your first kiss that you both mutually wanted. And not just a stolen one, but a real one. You can't hide your smile and he looked at you, a brow raised and silently smirking.

"Maybe I want it raw."

"What!?" It was his turn to whip his head hard and fast and look at you like you had popped out of thin air. "R-raw?" He stuttered and you narrowed your eyes on him.

You started hitting his shoulder and arm as you processed what he would have been thinking about what raw is. "You! 18 year old man! Captain of the volleyball team! Stop thinking about those kind of things!!" A series of Ows were heard across the room, he has to back away to avoid your heavy hand.

He is laughing through his flinches and it fumed you more. "Stop it, Y/n." He giggled as he grabs both of your wrist. "I'm just kidding. Just kidding." Keiji guided you back to your seat and made his seat again next to you. "Soー" He cleared his throat. "ーraw? Explain." He fought with all his might not to laugh at your still-scrunched-up expression.

"Stop laughing, okay?" He covered his mouth as he nods, resting his elbow at his desk, body turned to you, giving you his full attention as always.

"I want it unplanned. But I, you know, I would especially like it when it happens in a baseball fieldーcoz you know I'm a baseball playerーand I want it raining, and my favorite song comes along and you'll dance with me in the rain then ー" You pouted as you realized you're dreamily staring at nothing as you imagined it happening. And a man not more than a foot away from you is also doing the same thing, while staring at the most precious thing in his life right now.

Keiji never planned on courting you. Nor falling hard for you and your personality. It just happened, one winter morning after the last game of his high school life. When you uncharacteristically praised his gameー that you usually made fun of, of how he is overthinking things and it seeps through in his gameplay. It started as a super confused "Huh?" and ended in a blunt, "Do you want to be my girlfriend, Y/n?", yet you laughed and you said, "Express delivery, Mr. Akaashi? Court me first, HA!"

But you did fold after two months of his rather sweet advances, and now, you're both here, in this topic he also didn't planned. He stared at you one last time as he thinks of ways of how to step up to your fantasies.

Wataru nudges Keiji as they walked together to the school's gym for the athlete's formal turnover of responsibilities. The night's lingering winter cold air wafting his face and against his black dress shirt and slacks. He probably should wait for you inside.

"Where's Y/n-san?" Keiji could feel his scowl when he heard him asking about his girlfriend. Wataru may have seen Keiji's face and backtracked. "Just asking. The event's gonna start in 30 minutes."

Keiji hates the fact that he still can't drive, or his dad can't trust him drive. He can't pick you up in times like this. He's getting anxious and most of the athletes of Fukurodani Academy are already seated inside. He huffs, small misty breath leaving his mouth. He thought of why is it still even cold when it's already spring. He thought of the drastic effect of the greenhouse gases and climate change and abnormal change in the seasons andー

"Hey." He nearly jumped with his heart out when you spoke next to him. You giggled and it's like sleigh bells chiming against his ears. His erratic thoughts leaving him, now filling it up with thoughts of you, not that you ever left his mind.

"You're stunning."

"Oh, stop it, you." You smiled while your hair's softly blown by the Tokyo spring air. Keiji can't help but to commit this image of you in his memory for the years to come.

You kissed his cheek and anchored your hand to his arm. "You look like the man that I somehow see my future with."

You giggled as his other hand found its way to brush your anchored hand, his hand too warm to the touch. "You like that?"

He hummed. "I like that." Though, you both are still in your early months of your relationship, he liked the sound of it. So much.

The event ended an hour ago and you both found yourselves sprawled in the field, clearly unplanned. You invited him after a very toxic program like, why would they hold such event when the teams can do it on their own, and it will be shown anyway in public in the next pep rally. And the program was a mess, not organized. Too obvious it was just a spur of the moment talk, considering they hastily informed the athletes three days before the event.

You rolled your eyes and snuggled to Keiji's chest for comfort. He has his hand gently caressing your hair. You were whining about boredom back at the gym and he has heard the end of it when you both found comfort on the freshly trimmed field, your favorite song on repeat muffled in his slacks where your phone is.

"I just hope no bugs would dare crawl on us right now. I would really grab a missile on them." You grumbled through his chest, his red necktie and upper buttons now loosened. And you felt it, how his chest heaves as he heartily laughs. He hugged an arm around you and kissed your hair.

Your heart swells a little more than when you agreed to be Keiji's girlfriend. These wholesome moments with him are like what you were waiting for your whole life. You would like to be buried with them forever.

And you wanted to kiss him, right at this moment. Fuck your fantasies.

You plopped yourself up while staring him down. He was staring right back at you, and you felt like melting when he tightened his grip on your waist as you motioned closer. You're already an inch away, feeling his hot breath on your face, when the unthinkable happened.

You first felt it in your leg, then at the back of your hand, in his chest, in your arm, his forehead and the heavy drops came pouring.

You were both dumbfounded. And laughed, you crashing at his neck.

"Shall weー" Keiji ran his hand down his face to get rid of the wetness of the rain. "ーShall we take this chance to dance to your favorite song, love?"

Love.

Love?

Your brain stuttered while he heaved himself up on his feet. Heーhe called you an endearment, oh my God. You blinked rapidly through the raindrops on your face and with furrowed brows you turned to him.

"HEY!" He flashed a grin and offered a hand to you. "You can't say it like that so...casually!"

You took his hand and he hoisted you up chuckling, "Why not.. love?"

"Keiji!!" You whined as he placed his hand on your waist, still chuckling, other hand outstretched with your hand. You instinctively placed your other hand on his shoulder, brushing his neck as he swing to the rhythm of your song.

"You planned this, did you?" Your scrutinizing eyes were boring on his innocent but sparkling eyes.

"I can't make it rain, love. But you want it raw right? Unplanned?" He still grinned through the rain and you can't deny that you like what you're seeing right now. He looks so divine, you can't stop yourself from leaning on his shoulder, at the crook of his neck while both his hands are now on your waist, your other hand brushing on his shoulder and still swaying to the rhythm of your song and the pouring heavens.

Keiji never thought it would rain. He might have to thank the climate change for that. He never thought this circumstance would present itself now. He can't help but to kiss your head a little bit more tender than usual. You might've felt how his heart beats so erratic now that you're this close to him.

"I love you, Keiji." Oh how do you do that. How do you do those things that makes him crazier and crazier by the second.

He felt his steps paused, his heartbeat in his throat and ears as he held the back of your neck, craning it up to him.

And then it happened.

It felt like the world paused for this moment, the raindrops stopped, the traffic far out the walls of the school, the distant disco songs in the gym. It all stopped. What remained was that moment.

His eyes were closed unlike your eyes all wide from the shock. He pulled you closer by the waist, his hand at the back of your neck prevented you from pulling away from him. And his breath against your face. So close. And your lips... You blushed so hard at the realization. Andーand then he nibbled your bottom lip. You closed your eyes and your hands flew to the back of his neck and his hair. And you kissed him back with the same intensity he's giving you.

God, Keiji. What are you doing to me?

You felt him smile before breaking the mindblowing kiss and he leaned his forehead against yours, catching his breath. You were, too, smiling.

"Is that how you say you love me too, Keiji?" He laughed. Oh, how you love the sound of his laughs.

He kissed your nose and forehead, next. And he left you on the spot, still laughing. It's when you realized something. You scrunched your nose up instantly.

"HEY!" His laughs went louder. "You didn't say it back!" You ran to catch up to his big strides.

Keiji can't say it back. Not when you're this adorable in front of him. Not when his head is over the clouds at the moment. Not when he's still too drunk with your lips.

He might kiss you again. And he's afraid he might not stop 'til he takes your breath away, unconscious.

How he loved the way that kiss went. He laughed upon himself and his realizations, a finger ran on his lips.

But something went wrong with you.

"Yes, okay.ー" You looked at him pacing back and forth, packing up for a trip you did know but can't fathom why you can't go with. "Yes. On my way, Ran. Hm. See you. Yes. Love you too." And he hanged up and looked at you, kissed you and went back to packing.

"I wanna go with you, Keijiiii. Don't leave me hereee." You whined, rolling about your shared bed.

"You can't, love. It's too far, and you have classes on weekends. I'll be dead if your mom finds out you'd be skipping classes for a vacation halfway across the country." You pouted more and he kissed you again. "We'll have more next week, hm?"

You glared at his back as he continued packing.

But that next week never came. More projects, hectic deadlines, demanding reports, from both you and his. College life is stressful. You just wanted to quit and ran away with him. But you know he can't.

It went on for months and school was pressuring you more. Keiji came busy too, too busy for dates now. Study dates, maybe. But just the indulgent ones? You plopped at your chair and heaved a sigh.

And it came buzzing and buzzing. You took a look at his phone on his side of the desk.

"Keiji, your phone's noisy. Shall I check it?" You called him out while still peeking at his phone, still hands off.

"Yes, please, love! Coming over in a minute!" He called back from the bathroom, still showering.

You excitedly unlocked his phone with your anniversary date and took a look at his chats. Your brows shot up at the topic on the GC.

☆ VOLLEYBALL IDIOTS - ABS ONLY ☆

JZJ | Yuuji

@Keiji Akaashi

c'mon, i just had a crush on her for 3 months stop pestering me

DT | Kenji

oh stop lying! you were the longest.

SJ | Issei

you even gave her something during white day last march you idiot!

JZJ | Yuuji

that was obligatory you fucker

@Keiji Akaashi

and if youre talking about the longest @Eita Semi's gonna win

FOX | Tsumu

stop spamming!

why are you tagging keiji?

and oh?? @Osamu Miya

JZJ | Yuuji

because i got something for him ♡

HAHAHAHAHA

@Keiji Akaashi

STZ | Taichi

ugh. noisy.

@Keiji Akaashi give attention to the motherfucking parrot.

ITC | Motoya

what is it anyway? and what about how many months did someone had a crush on Ran?

STZ | Eita

he said chances don't go by like this. move before the owner comes back.

CRW | Koshi

you also said that a year ago, Yuuji

and Ran's not a toy to be owned

SJ | Tooru

fuck you, Yuuji! stop it!

CRW | Kei

CRW | Tobio

what was that ass hat? chances?

CRW | Kei

😶

CRW | Yuu

wanna be buried again in the sand yuuji?

CRW | Daichi

ehem.

JZJ | Yuuji

hi crows!! hi daichi!!got a surprise for ya!

OH HE'S ACTIVE ALREADY!!!

@Keiji Akaashi honey bunch!!

*sent a video*

OWL | Akinori

when was this?

CAT | Tetsu

@Keiji Akaashi ?

CRW | Shoyo

hey! Yuuji-san, Keiji-san already has a girlfriend! delete it!

CRW | Tadashi

Delete it, Terushima-san.

JZJ | Yuuji

oh cmon thats blackmail material 🙄

not you tadashi youre scary but wait till keiji creates a reaction HAHAHAHA

FOX | Shin

Delete it. You may not know that's his gf that's using his phone.

CAT | Mori

Oh no. Y/n?

SJ | Hajime

he's silent.

STZ | Kenjiro

Y/n?

OWL | Wataru

DELETE IT! KEIJI-SAN SAID HE'S GONNA TAKE A SHOWER A MINUTE AGO!

JZJ | Yuuji

oh fuck!

YOU DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING, Y/N!

hehe

im dead

You closed the chat, pale and incoherent thoughts were running on your mind. Your mind's blurry, so as your eyes. You tried to transfer to the bed but your legs were wobbly as hell. Your breath's getting heavy, it's already hitching.

And the bathroom door clicked open. Keiji, on his sweatpants already, was initially running his towel through his wet hair when he got to look at you. He rushed and kneeled next to you so fast. You felt so betrayed.

"What happened, love? Why are youー"

Keiji had no time to process the stinging slap you gave him when you grabbed your wallet, walked out the door and from your shared apartment. He rushed, taking whatever shirt he got first in his closet and ran after you.

But he didn't caught up to you.

Keiji ran back to the apartment, straight to your shared room, and grabbed his phone to call you. After a few tries, you finally picked up.

"I'm breaking up with you." Your voice was already shaky and hitching as you sobbed hard.

"Why? What happened? Let's talk about this. Please come back love, Y/n." Keiji knew the places where are you could possibly be heading to, so he grabbed his wallet and went out again to take a cab.

"Y-you know what happened to my past relationship. You know what happened butーh-how could you.. Did you even love me, Keiji?" Your mind was spiraling at the thoughts of that 2-month relationship before Keiji's. You closed your eyes at the bitter memory that's now reliving in Keiji's time.

"I didn't cheat, love. What are you talking about? Please. Come bーY/n? Love?" Keiji bit his lip when you hanged up on him. He called you many times after, but it just went straight to voicemail.

Please. Please. This is not happening.

Keiji's last resortーyour family's house. As much as possible, he's not gonna go in to respect your father's wishes but, he's sure you're inside those walls. He didn't waste a second more before he rang the doorbell. A minute passed and your father greeted him by the gate. He swallowed hard.

Keiji was sure your father's seeing his unflattering self right now outside his gate. Keiji was sure he'll not bat an eye more than a minute and he'll close the gate to his face. But he's practically begging the heavens right now.

"Sir. Y/n's inside. Please, can I talk to her?"

"No." It was plain but rigid. Keiji could feel a boulder weighing down on his chest.

"Please, sir. I love her. I wanna fix it."

"You love her?" Your father scoffed. "Then why did she came home crying to her mother's arms?"

"I'm sure this is just a misー"

"You told me you wouldn't make her cry, Akaashi. Whatever the reason is, you told me you wouldn't make her cry. Just out of joy. Now, what did you do to her?" Keiji felt his tears welling up his eyes. He swallowed harder.

"IーI don't know sir. I honestly don't know. She told me I cheated on her." He answered your father truthfully because he can't think of any at the moment. He just want to talk to you.

"And, did you?" Keiji looked at your father's eyes, ignoring the tears that fell to his cold cheeks.

"No. I didn't. Never. I wouldn't cheat on someone I plan to marry in the future, sir."

Keiji took hold of your father's scrutinizing stare and broke off, huffing. "Go home, Akaashi. Her brother's mad and coming home. I don't want both of you to see each other now."

And Keiji did what he was ready to do. He might've reserved this when he'll be asking for your hand in marriage but the circumstances took him here, right now. He went down on his knees and grovel in front of your father. Your father just stood there, staring at your boyfriend's grovelling.

"Please sir. Let me talk to her." Your father sighed and closed the gate in front of Keiji. "Please sir. Please."

He closed his tear-filled eyes and cried against his arms, across the ground, muttering Please sirs and let me talk to her over and over. You can hear his crying pleas from your room, and you cried with him.

Keiji hadn't realized how he got back to your shared apartment. All he knew was his face hurts, his knees hurt, his arms hurt and his heart hurts. But you're hurting more, he thought. He can't think of reasons why would you think he cheated on you. He never did anything unfaithful in your back. His life is literally devoted to you and your well being. Heー

Wait.

His brows furrowed as he started picking up the pieces before that slap happened. He plopped to the couch and started backreading on the GC. The boys were in panic because of something. Then he saw it. But what video? Yuuji? He initiated a conference call and put it on speaker. He can't trust his voice right now, his arm hurts, but he has to know.

The boys started picking up the call.

Atsumu: "It was Yuuji! I swear I didn't do anything!!"

Osamu: "You were the root of it!!"

A flood of yeahs sounded through the call. He still can't find the strength to talk as he draped an arm against his eyes.

Wakatoshi: "Let the man speak first."

Kenji: "He's not even speaking."

Shoyo: "Keiji-san?"

Hajime: "Keiji? What happened?"

Shigeru: "This is your fault, Terushima Yuuji!!"

And a chaos was in the call again. Keiji's breath hitched. He didn't realize he was already crying again. What did these boys do to make you leave him like that?

Tadashi: "STOP TALKING."

Kei: "Akaashi-san."

Tetsurou: "Akaashi."

"Wーwhat happened?" His voice was hitching. He groaned as he realized it.

Akinori: "Y/n really saw it, Yuuji! You motherfucker!"

Shinsuke: "Speak up, Terushima Yuuji."

Yuuji: "I'm sorry, Keiji."

He felt his throat constricting at the sound of Yuuji's voice and he began sobbing so hard.

What.."did you do? What".. did.."she see?"

He tried to talk but that's all the sentences he could form. He's pathetic without you.

Yuuji: "Shallーshall I send it again for you to see?"

Morisuke: "Send it again."

Taketora: "That's all you're good at!"

Eita: "Bury him in the sand again, Yuu!"

Yuu: "Tsk."

Daichi: "Stop. Send it again, Yuuji. Keiji's waiting."

A video was sent on the groupchat. He saw himself on the thumbnail and he knew instantly what the video was about. But why? Did he misremember something to make you think he cheated on you? Did he say something he can't remember saying to make you think of that? He found his shaking thumb pressing the play button.

The video shakes through the voices of Atsumu, Rintaro and Yuuji. It was blurry at first and then it finally focused on Keiji's drunk figure.

"C'mon Keiji. Out of all of us, you're the closest one to her. Well, except for her team and her boyfriend." That was Atsumu, out of the frame.

He heard himself groan at the prior question. "Okay. Okay." He breathes and stares up the sky. "I HAD been inlove with her since I saw her in that bloody training camp. Who wouldn't be? She's cute and amazingー" hik "ーshe's fucking beautiful."

He heard Yuuji giggled. "Right? Tell me about it."

"And d'you all see her sets?" Keiji hugged himself. He remembered it was out of bliss, alcohol and the cold air blowing in Okinawa. "I'm inlove with those."

The trio out of the frame chuckled at him and he grabbed Rintaro into the frame. "Butーbutー"

And the video stopped there.

"Why did it stopped there, Yuuji?"

Keiji remembers what he said there. Keiji remembers. But why did it stop?

Yuuji: "Iー"

Atsumu: "See? That was what we were asking!"

Rintaro: "There was another video of it. You haven't sent it. You were too focused on messing with Keiji and his drunken state."

Yuuji: "C'mon."

Sou: "We kinda want to see the second part?"

Atsumu: "And save it. Send it to Y/n."

But Keiji's anger was boiling within him. He doesn't know why did it stopped there. Yuuji can't be fucking serious.

"Terushima-san. I'm asking you a question, you better answer it."

The conference call went silent at his cold monotone voice. Some even squeaked to silence and murmurs.

Yuuji: "My hand slipped, okay? There was another video butーy-yeah, I wanna mess with you so Iーkindaーjust sent the first half. It was kinda my intention because I want to let them know your feelings for Ran before. Before. Yes, before Y/n. It was my fault, I'm sorry."

"Do you know what happened to us? Do you know what happened after she saw thatー" His tongue tastes bitter in his words. He has to force it out. "ーthat video? Do you know what her father told me? HUH!? DO YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT DID I FUCKING DO JUST TO HAVE A FUCKING CHANCE TO FUCKING TALK TO HER!?"

Keiji felt himself stood up from the couch. "SHE WAS CRYING LIKE HELL, TERUSHIMA! SHE BROKE UP WITH ME! SHE THINKS I'M FUCKING CHEATING ON HER! Did you even know that's her relationship trauma from her previous one? ANSWER ME!!"

"Answer him, Terushima Yuuji. I'm waiting."

The angels may have graced the call because of the utter dead silence that followed her voice, except for Tadashi's and Kei's.

Tadashi: "Why didn't you knock?"

A series of fucks and Nos and Rans flooded the call. And Keiji found his tears streaming again. From the heartbreak, from the anger and the tension.. and now from the embarassment. He rubbed his hands on his face and plopped back to the couch, his anger fading.

Yuuji: "Cーc'mon, it's not just m-me!"

Ran: "Answer him. Fix it."

Kei: "Okay, that's enough for us. Excuse me and Tadashi."

Ran: "H-hey!"

Tadashi: "You shouldn't even be eavesdropping. That's boys' talk. You have your girlー"

And their line cutted off.

Yuuji: "I'm so dead."

Atsumu: "Glad w-we're at Hyogo right now. Right, Rin?"

Osamu: "Yeah? You're glad? She can even kick your butt even from Mars, you idiot!"

Rintaro: "Dumb ass. She's gonnaー"

Keiji don't wanna hear the end of it. He had enough. He just wanna hear your voice right now, to maybe soothe everything in him. He dialed your number countless times but to voicemail he was redirected.

He felt like dying.

You haven't been yourself lately. It's obvious you're still shaken by that cursed video Yuuji shared to the GC. The day you went home was a nightmare. You still could hear Keiji's cries off your gate, and how your brother punched your boyfriend's face numerous times you had to keep yourself from defending him. Your father isn't even talking to you, just sighs of disappointment.

Your important things for school is sitting right by your desk in your room, some clothes were still at that shared apartment you missed right now. Your shared apartment. The one both of you took time to pick, the kitchen you both decorated with lots of necessities, where he often kisses your shoulder when you try to cook, or you hugging him from his back when he tries to cook for you. The fridge full of ice creams and frozen pizzas for movie nights. And the counter whereーYou gulped hard. That's just the kitchen. And you had to stop, minding the toll it has given you.

You're not going to go back there. It's scary. He'll hurt you again. He doesn't love you. He loves someone else. He never loved you. He cheated on you.

That's all you have been in mantra for the whole month.

You took a deep breath and walked out of your class as soon as it ended. It was a morning of late November and the pending winter's coming. But winter came a month early for you. You fluttered your eyes close, pausing a little while on the lobby of your building.

"Where's her fucking building, Kenma!?"

"Ranー"

Your eyes immediately focused on the familiar golden-haired girl that's yelling on a distraught Kenma. He was the first one who spotted you, followed by Kei, then Tadashi, the cursed Yuuji with ears and cheek all red and clearly manhandled.. and she whirled to face your direction. Her golden eyes turned stormy as she pounced on you and slapped you hard, and again on the other cheek.

"Ran!"

You froze as your head is still tilted to the direction where she slapped you. The searing pain coursing through your head. Yells and grunts were all over you and you feel like crying for Keiji's name.

"Why did you do that!? Why did you slap her!?"

"I slapped you extra in case the first one didn't woke you up!"

Your breath hitched and your eyes travelled to her. She was already held back by her waist by Tadashi, Kei yelling at her and Yuuji, giving you an apologetic stare, keeping a scaredy arm-distance from Ran. Kenma went to your side and checked your cheek.

"I knew I'll be hating you sooner or later, then now, wow, you didn't disappoint Y/n! More disappointed at how you turned my comical hate to something more hellish!" You can't process what's she's saying, does she makes sense now? No. You can't understand why she's here or why she slapped you.

"Ran, that's enough!"

"You even haven't heard Keiji explain his side! How foolish can you be, huh!? You're traumatized of your past relationship? Can't you see how Keiji loves you with all his heart!?" She struggled against Tadashi's arms, you fluttered your eyes close.

You wished she'll break free and slap you again.

"It's disgusting to see Keiji smiling and laughing around you but looks so stoic infront of us! Can't you see that!? Open your fucking eyes, Y/n! You think he doesn't love you!? I'm gonna skin you alive and he'll still fucking love you, youー"

"Calm down, Ran." That was one demanding tone Tadashi gave to her, to which she stopped abruptly and breathed heavy. You have to close your eyes to try not to remember what Keiji told you about her.

Yuuji took small steps to you, wary about Ran's distance from him. "Y/n, I'm sorry. I will explain for Keiji. Though I can't say it in words, can you please look at this video? It's a continuation of the prior video which youーy'know."

He handed you his phone shakily, Kenma got it, noticing you were shaking so hard as well. He eyed you first before pressing play. Your eyes were glued at the familiar figure of Keiji, now with Rin in the frame.

"ーy'know. That all changed since I met my wife. The love of my life." He kissed Rin's cheek, to which the latter disgustingly turned away, but Keiji was hugging him tight. Laughs from Atsumu and Yuuji were off the frame.

"She changed me. Ran is..ugly..now to my eyes. She can't compare to my wifeー" hik "ーI'll marry her one day. Have kids that looks like her. I really don't mind not having boys." He dreamily sighed and leaned at Rin's shoulder that's pushing him away.

"Then don't wear a condom when you fuck her!"

"We didn't do it yet, Chumu. I respect her father as much as I respect her."

"Fuck, you're whipped." The screen wobbled and it turned black.

You didn't noticed you were crying until Ran, still at Tadashi's arms, screeched to Kei, "He called me ugly, Kei!"

"Yeah, you're realizing that now?" Kei smirked at his twin. "Ugly."

Your eyes were on Kenma. "Why didn'tー"

"She's uglier Kei!"

"You deactivated. You avoided us for a month, Y/n. Your father repeatedly turned Keiji's pleas down on talking to you. How would you know? You even blocked our numbers from your phone. There was one time we had to stop Keiji from climbing up your fence. He's 18 and can be arrested already. And your nasty of a brother giving him threats of suing him."

"No, you are."

"Then, you're ugly too. We're twins."

"Stop it, both of you."

"Keiji hasn't been in most of his classes. His father can't do anything to keep him moving. Eyebags around his eyes from lack of sleep. He's dying without you by his side, Y/n."

Kenma was so sullen on recounting those words to you. You knew you were selfish. After seeing that video, you knew you've made a terrible mistake, to the love of your life. How can you be so foolish? Ran's right. And you deserve her slaps.

You wanted to see Keiji now.

"We somehow got his face fixed, got him out of the apartment because of an emergency. We're going to Nagano inー" He took a look at his phone. "ーless than an hour. D'you wanna go? They're at the station now, waiting for me and Yuuji."

You heard Ran scoffed at Yuuji that's standing behind you shakily.

"I wanna go see him. Can we go now?"

You found your way to the Ueno Station with Kei and Ran still bickering at the back, on your either side was Kenma and Yuuji, and Tadashi up front, clearly done with the twins.

Your heart was racing when you all entered the station and walked a little bit more to the platform for the Nagano train. Mori spotted your crowd and nudged Akinori on his side and jutted his chin on your direction. Akinori immediately pointed to the far end of the platform, and there you saw him, standing alone, head low.

Tetsurou was nearby, but when he spotted you, his eyes widen and immediately distanced himself, walking to Ran's direction.

"Is the spot on your side taken, Mr. Akaashi?" You were at his back, and you saw how he froze and you can almost hear his relieved sigh and shaky breaths.

"Yes. I'm waiting for my love that's jealous and jumping to bad conclusions, making me wait for her alone in our bed." You pouted hard.

"If she's not you, please walk away. I don't want her to be jealous and think I'm cheating. I feel like dying without her already." His voice was hoarse to your ears. Is heー

You rounded to his front fast and hugged his limp figure. You noticed how his figure became noticeably thinner than usual. You cupped his cheeks and your heart dropped at his tear-filled eyes.

"Keiji."

"I was scared. So scared, Y/n." You tearfully nodded and hugged him again. "I thought I'm gonna lose you forever." You nuzzled your face to his neck and your other hand patted his cheek. You can feel how his breath hitched and deep, you think he might sob at any second.

"I'm here now. I'm here. I'm so sorry love." You kissed his neck, his jaw and his cheek and you stared at his eyes, wiping his tears off his cheeks and lashes.

"I love you Keiji."

And you closed the gap. It was not like the first time, but it was more meaningful now. The first time was out of bliss, now it's full of commitment and faith. If the first time was your fantasy, this one was your reality. If the first one was full of butterflies and rainbows, this one was through the storms you're willing to walk with Keiji.

"I love you more, Y/n. God, I love you more." He hugged you so tight and kissed you more passionately than ever. You tried to ignore it the first time but you could hear cheers not so far from your scene.

"Hey! Why are you crying!?"

"Shut up! God, I hate her!"

"You can come with us."

"No. She won't."

"Killjoy, Kei."

Keiji's brows furrowed, broke the kiss and stared at you.

"Why's your cheek so red, love?" He motioned to lay a finger on your cheek and you flinched to his touch. His eyes widened. His thoughts were bunching up to a conclusion and whirled to Ran's direction. You have to grab his arm to prevent him from anything else.

"Did you slap her!?" He growled at Ran, audience were too stunned to speak.

"Can you see it now, Y/n?" You can't help but smile at her, welp, through the lingering pain on your cheeks.

"Answer me, Tsukishima Ran!" You tightened your grip on Keiji's arm as he threatened to move closer to the now chuckling Ran.

"If I hadn't done that, she wouldn't be here smooching with you, fucking traitor!"

"I'm gonna punch him hard if he's not under the rubbles!"

"Don't you dare, Akaashi Keiji! I'm gonna skin her alive in front of you!"

"Ugh. Shut up. So embarassing."

You chuckled at the banter and can't help but hug Keiji from his back. You can't believe you doubted his love for you, his love that knows no bounds. From that peeking high school boy glances, to the fight between your dad and brother, even to this moment, he loves you with all his heart. And you've been fucking blind to how his love ranges, from the fantasy-filled moments to the real-to-the-bone ones.

"Don't let her slap you again, okay?" His hands rubbing your arms that's around him. You hummed and hugged him tighter. "D'you want to go to Nagano with me?"

You shook your head against his back. "I trust you. And I'm gonna go back to the apartment. I have a horrified image of it in my head."

He laughed, and that's the favorite music you have on your mind right now.

You're devouring the slice of cake in front of you when the detestful bride took notice of your table. You gripped your fork tighter and sliced the cake to smaller portions harder.

"Oh, how do you like the cake, Y/n?"

You scrunched your nose up and glared at her, taking a forkful of her wedding cake in front of her.

"Tastes bland, d'you spit on this?"

You saw how her smile dropped and nose already scrunched, too. Keiji and her groom sighing on both your sides.

"Be careful on your seat, I planted a bomb under it so you can go off together with the fireworks later."

"Oh, that's nice. So I can ruin your wedding too. Thank you, Ran. You're such a thoughtful friend. It's a pleasure."

"Ugh. I hate her, Keiji!"

"And I hate you, too!"

You both growled at each other til her father whispered something to her. She rolled her eyes on you, walking away with her groom's apologetic smile.

"Why do we hate her, Ran?"

"Don't you dare hate her."

"Shall I get you more cake, love?" Keiji was too poor on hiding his chuckles, you pouted at him.

You motioned him to move closer to you and he obliged. "Can you please check under my chair? That damn bride's sometimes serious."

And he dropped his head on your shoulder and laughed loud enough for the nearby tables to turn to your direction.

At a distance, Ran shrieked Keiji's name, to which you laughed heartily too.

You continuously tugged Keiji's sleeve as you saw your celebrity crush finished singing at the small pavillion just off the couple's platform. Keiji's still talking with his volleyball friends and you're already pouting so hard as Semi already walked past by your seat.

"What is it, love?"

"Semi!!" You whispered your shriek in his ear and he chuckled.

"Yes, yes, hold on."

He guided you to Semi and you can't help but to shake Keiji's arm violently as you neared their table. Keiji cleared his throat.

"Semi-san."

"Hm?" Semi stood, towering over you. "Keiji." He hugged your boyfriend with one arm. "How're you? And yourー" Your eye twitched at his giggles, rather than squealing in your mind. "ーgirlfriend?"

"We're fine. We're fine. This is Y/n. I haven't introduced you both formally."

"Nice to meet you, Y/n. I'm Semi Eita." He shook your cold hand, fangirling back on.

"She's curious about if you wanted a girl vocalist? Maybe she can join your band?" Both you and Semi stuttered a shocked face at Keiji. You felt your jaw dropped, cheeks blushing by his sudden reveal.

"Keiji!"

"What?"

"My dad wants me to be a doctor to be fitted to your family."

"And I'm too touched, but you also mentioned you wanted to be with Semi's band, right? Then, go do the things you love when you still have the chance."

Oh my God. You wanna kiss him right now.

"Hey! No cheesy scene in front of me. How dare you both." You found yourself chuckling with Keiji at Semi's retorts, with the others listening too.

"She can start now, actually. We really need a girl vocalist. I'll talk to the management about her." Your eyes bulged and you squealed. Semi's the singer of your favorite song and this is really really a dream come true.

"Really!? Oh my God." Your hand found its way to your mouth and Keiji was laughing at your actions, too fond of your reactions.

"Yeah. I shall eat first, and I'm gonna swing by you later at your table. Hm?"

"Oh my God. Thank you Semi!" You bowed numerous times and fast to Semi's direction through his laughs and a pat to your shoulder. Keiji dragged you away from Semi to stop you from your bowing. "Oh my God, Keiji."

"Oh my God, Y/n." He chuckled and kissed your forehead. "Do your best."

And Keiji was really touched about how your father wanted you to become a doctor for his family. But he knows you well, you don't want it. Or maybe you do, because you wanna be perfect for him. His heart was swelling and butterfliers churns his stomach as he listens you sing with Semi.

Whatever you wanna do, he is here waiting and supporting you. And oh, with the ring now burning in his slacks. There's a time for it. And he wants to elicit your best reaction yet to carve in his mind forever.

Reblogs and interactions are appreciated. Theories will be entertained. Cassie 2023.

92 notes · View notes

torhues · 2 years

Text

akaashi keiji.

tw . death and grieving

they say, we value something the most when it's gone.

akaashi doesn't know why those words resonate with him.

he doesn't have a lot of offer, not at all. akaashi keiji, in fact, doesn't have anything to give or lose, his hands are empty. he has a mediocre job and a mediocre life, a mediocre apartment with some mediocre flowers in the mediocre vase a friend gave him as a congratulatory gift on graduation day. he has same mediocre thoughts and books, tropes and genres, no new thought in a while; akaashi, actually, has more to accept than to lose.

to think, he has always been on the receiving end of life.

good grades made their way to him almost too easily, his looks served as a way for confessions to find their route to him as well. being an only child gave him the privilege to have everything to himself rather than sharing it with someone. akaashi isn't half mean, or selfish, or careless, or anything that people like him could be. he still keeps the fountain pen bokuto gave him on the last day of highschool even though it's nib had broken. there's a scarf in his cupboard, one made by his late aunt who died of lymphoma, it's torn, yarns peeping out of the knits. it's kept intact in a fancy red box.

akaashi has always received a lot, so much that he hasn't dealt with loss, to such an extent that he has never been on the other end. but his hands feel empty. in the silence suffocating him, sitting on a chair with his head hung low, the floor looks so pretty. there's a faint reflection of him on the tiles, then his eyes land on his hands.

his hands feel empty.

maybe it's the timing that has been making him feel this way. perhaps, it's the location, the empty hospital room and the empty streets, the empty hallway, the empty hours, the lack of something and abundance of everything— it's making him go insane. it's fine, he tells himself, a hospital can make one feel that way.

akaashi looks over at the empty bed, the white sheets and the white walls all around. his gaze shifts to the now shut down heart monitor, the pillow you had rested your head upon until this afternoon, the lilies in the bouquet he got your this morning, they've wilted. he should be packing up your stuff. your clothes, the blanket you've always adored and the books you made him read all these days while you were lying on the now empty hospital bed.

occasionally, he tries to convince himself that this is a dream. that you're here, somewhere, perhaps at work or at the nursery, maybe out for shopping with a friend or at your parent's house because you've been missing them lately. akaashi imagines himself waiting for you at the station or the bus stand or the airport, smiling like a fool because he hasn't seen you in days and finally he can have you close to him, his lips on yours, your hand in his,

but now, his hands feel emptier.

akaashi, once again, looks over at the empty bed. the image of you lying on it slips in his mind— weak and exhausted, too miserable to even lift your hand. the you that has been greeting him with a crooked smile for the last three weeks. the part of you that cries when no one is around a pretends to be fine when he accidently walks in on you. you who had been living off on tubes and blood transfusions, who smells like medicines and antiseptics, who's eyes, even while fighting to their life, didn't run out of love.

akaashi has always been on the receiving end. his chest feels heavy, his vision is blurry, he feels lonely; akaashi doesn't know what he had lost.

he can't put it in words.

they say, we value something the most when it's gone. akaashi doesn't understand why those words keep popping up in his mind as a reminder. he's not like that, he knows how much to mean to him. he adored you— still does— has never taken you, or your love, for granted.

what about the people who know the worth?

he sniffs, because he knew. akaashi knows he loves you more than anything else in this entire world and, tried his best to hold onto you; little by little, thread by thread, holding by the end of the rope even if it means standing at the edge of the knife.

losing something, isn't it so much worse for them?

akaashi believes there's penance in yearning, there's pain in giving too much of your heart. you've always been on the giving end, and it scared him because, what if he's not enough? what if he isn't even giving you even a quarter of what he's receiving, because in the end, nothing in the world could compensate for short fall.

did i not love you enough?

he thinks of the times where instead of all this, he had you. life was exquisitely simple, and you were desperately happy. where instead of heavy silence, the room was filled with your laughter, where his hands weren't empty for yours always found their way to his'. he thinks of the days when he'd spend his evenings with you, strolling in the park or while taking a walk by the beach. right now, he feels alone, as if it's just him and pieces of shared moments with you, lingering in the air.

akaashi hasn't never dealt with loss, but losing you made him lose everything he ever had.

#♡ hues'.#♡ handmade.#akaashi keiji #haikyuu #akaashi x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu akaashi #haikyuu angst #akaashi angst #haikyuu fic #akaashi fic #haikyuu headcanons #akaashi headcanons #haikyuu drabbles #akaashi drabbles #hq angst #IM SORRY FOR ANOTHER ANGST #IN MY DEFENCE I CANNOT COME UP WITH ANYTHING ELSE #also this sounds monotonous me thinks

274 notes · View notes

honeycreamsweets · 2 years

Text

⭐️Fading Star (Part 2)⭐️

Miya Atsumu x gender neutral reader

(You/yours and they/them for reader)

All angst. (Only small comfort)

Mentions- Reader is still heartbroken. And is uncomfortable. Atsumu still has no idea of their feelings. He lacks self-awareness of how he treats Reader. Small confrontations but nothing intense. Akaashi is a good boy and Sakusa got a lil attitude. Crying. Lots hugs. Some cursing?? Pet names and reader is angry internally. Sad Atsumu. Both are kinda shitty to each other. Unrequited feelings and realizing you're too late to fix this.

Word count- 4100

Notes- Had a bad weekend!!! Someone made me cry and feel awful so you guys get to feel awful with me<3 we suffer together. Anyway. I originally wasn't going to do a part 2. I had a weird time trying to figure out a part 2 until it hit me and then I've kinda been nonstop writing for the last two days. No beta reader cause I don’t have one but I’m sorry about mistakes! Enjoy !

Part one

The drive back home from his game was so painful. He set it in stone that you were a backup friend for his relationships. Your friendship would never be the same. Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. The pain from losing your star lingered but it dulled over time. It became easier to distract yourself from the bleeding light that Atsumu left in your life. It washed over you in waves. Some days it was easier to say you were over it. And other days, it hurt to see him in passing. You made a vow to yourself to enjoy being a distant observer of someone’s star. You’d find a better star. Maybe.

It was four months until Atsumu’s and his partner’s first anniversary. You endured the friendship and stayed readily available for him. These feelings were bottled up within you. You tried to speak up during those months. Atsumu shot you down before he could be even considered your point of view.

“We don’t hang out anymore. You don’t talk to me or your other friends. I miss you and I’m glad you’re with someone who makes you happy but you’re neglecting everyone else. You rushed in-“

You were cut off by his annoyed groan. “Not you too…” he mumbled under his breath. “Listen, y/n. I’m doing things I haven’t done before. You should be happy for me. We can hang out later. I’ve done my part to keep my friends so. Just learn to be happy for me. That’s what I would do for you.” His demeanor was defensive and it only made you feel worse. Maybe you were a terrible friend..? You should have been happy for him..! But you couldn’t find it in yourself to do that. You changed the topic and never tried to talk about it again. You didn’t tell anyone else, fearing that someone would discover your feelings. You bottled up your sad feelings over that star and hid them from the world.

You received an invitation from Atsumu to hang out since his partner was out for the day. You debated on if it was a good idea to see him for a long period. He never made time for you. He was shitty at messaging you back unless he needed something. He wasn't even half the friend he was before. But alas. That dumbass had your heart wrapped around his finger even if time had passed. You agreed while your inner thoughts were begging you to not go. You knew it’d only cause you to regress.

But you wanted to see your- their star.

A small moment of relief occurred when you saw the other parked cars of his teammates and friends outside of his apartment. You sighed softly as you walked to his floor. Sounds of Bokuto’s and Atsumu’s muffled yells could be heard through the door. Normally, you would have smiled to hear them being so loud. It was difficult to mask the dull ache from your yearning over Miya Atsumu. You softly knocked on the door and exhaled sharply before practicing a smile. You were greeted by Hinata suddenly. “Y/N!!!!!” He yelled while trapping you in a tight hug.

The sounds of his laughter and your pleas to be set free drew the attention of the others. Atsumu walked to the door to see you engulfed in a hug. “Heyyy, Y/n! Good to see y-” He was interrupted by Bokuto shoving him aside. The tight hug became even tighter as Bokuto joined in. Atsumu chuckled as he watched. He opened his arms to join in the big bear hug. “Damn, I invited ‘em over and you guys are acting like that’s your best friend.”

You smiled sheepishly as you were squished between the two men. He hadn't called you that in a long time... The second you saw Atsumu approaching while still calling you his best friend, you panicked. You poked at Hinata’s and Bokuto’s sides until they let go. You didn’t want to be suspicious but you didn’t want to make the effort to hug him. If you had his teammates as a barrier. He didn’t deserve a hug in your eyes. “Hi, it’s good to see you guys.” You spoke quickly. “Who else is here?” You asked as you stepped into the apartment.

Atsumu frowned at not receiving a hug. “Omi, Keiji, and Rin,” He said as he glanced at Hinata and Bokuto in question. The other two men shrugged and glanced between each other. Atsumu followed you inside. To his disbelief, he saw you embrace Suna, Akaashi, AND Sakusa before him. You always made sure to put him first. Why pull this now? “Oh, and Samu will be here to drop off —---.” He raised a brow in question at Sakusa, who had his arms wrapped around your torso loosely. Sakusa shrugged at him briefly after you let go. “Are you gonna say hi to me or hug me, Huh??” He looked at you expectantly and with a pout on his face.

That’s exactly what you feared. You thought you wouldn’t have to endure seeing him happy with someone else. But never mind. You nodded and turned slowly before looking at Atsumu with a big grin. “Sounds great and Hi, bestie.” You gave him a brief side hug; however, his hug consumed your whole body. The action made you tense before slowly hugging him back. Your expression became more neutral gradually as you melted into the hug. you inhaled softly and lost yourself in the embrace that you longed for. To Atsumu, your avoidance was a flunk but you were specifically avoiding the inevitable. This. You were screaming at yourself to let go and remember that you were done with him. Everything felt okay again. You were enjoying his light when you had no right to. You mustered up some willpower and forced yourself to pull away before he could. “What game are we playing?”

The night continued with everyone having fun. Your facade was worked. And for a while..? It was how things were before. You felt relieved and desperately missed the interactions you used you have with all of them regularly. Your guard dropped and for once in a long time. You felt that Atsumu still truly cared about you, again. Even just as a friend. Rekindling with everyone made the evening feel fun and everyone got along.

Atsumu felt content about all of his closest friends being together once again. A large sense of love and pride ran through him. Everything was complete in his eyes. Being a star, he was used to being observed by everyone. But he had a group of people to who he always wanted attention. His closest friends, his brother, his best friend, and his partner. He shined brightly for those he cared about. In a way, Osamu, Y/n, and his partner were his stars. He loved how each had their own light and reacted differently to him. Soon he’d have all three of his stars together.

The front door unlocked. Atsumu and you both looked toward the door to see who it was. It was Osamu and —-. At the same time, you two reacted. Atsumu smiled and beamed as he started getting excited for his partner and Osaumu to join. You, on the other hand, your smile faded into a small one. A visible shift in your mood occurred and it caught the attention of three guests. But not the person who mattered to you most.

Osamu, Akaashi, and Sakusa noticed the change before glancing at Atsumu and then at each other. Unbeknownst to you, you had exposed yourself. The three had some slight suspicions about your behavior.

Atsumu quickly welcomed his partner. He cupped their face while sharing a loving kiss with them. The scene made you nauseous. You turned your head away to protect yourself. All the hard work you had done would have been for nothing. You couldn’t break and feel more heartache over someone who had no idea about your feelings. You didn't hate his significant other. You hated how they snuck in and pushed you down from Atsumu's priorities. Atsumu told you how they cared about you but it seemed the opposite. You didn’t trust yourself to not tear up at the sight of them. You swallowed your pride and said hello anyway.

No matter what happened, or how much time had passed. Atsumu wasn’t yours. He could never love you in the way you wanted him to. He wasn’t your star. The stardust that he left behind time and time again, would always cloud your vision and your heart.

Osamu walked by you with a bag of groceries in hand. “I’m gonna make something. Wanna help?” He asked, grinning down at you. He was trying to give you an escape. A break from the couple that caused you pain. His smile turned into a frown when you shook your head at him. In a small voice, you mumbled a “No” before staring at the TV. Osamu sighed slightly and left you be. “Does anyone wanna help me?”

“I do!” “ME!” The two voices were Hinata and Atsumu’s partner. The two of them ran into the kitchen.

Atsumu laughed before taking a seat beside you. He looked at you happily until he noticed your blank stare. He took the opportunity to throw his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer to him. “Heyyyyy, we’re all having funnnn! Don’t zone out on us! Who else is gonna talk to me about the newest episode we watched of our favorite show.”

You sucked your teeth and forced a smile. “I’m just tired, and I haven’t seen it yet. You told me that we’d watch it together. So I haven't watched it yet. Have you watched it already?” You looked at his face for some honesty. A moment of weakness because you felt desperate to hear that he kept something special between just you two. He had the effort to invite you over. He could have waited to do one of the last shared activities you two had… Right..?

Atsumu looked nervous and started stuttering. “Wellll. Ya knowwww. Uhh. We can still watch it! I... Um. I haven’t seen it with you yet?“ He looked past you for the aid of your mutual friends. He wanted you to still be excited but his confession already slipped out.

Sakusa caught his beg for help and rolled his eyes. He had no intentions of helping. Bokuto chimed after letting Atsumu dig himself into a deeper grave. “Well it’d be the first time you’d see it together so does that count? I mean I think We can all watch it so it's our first time together” Bokuto looked like a sad little puppy while trying to reach for a good reason for you to not be upset.

Suna scoffed, “Y/n, he watched it without you. —— and him wouldn’t shut up about it a few days ago. He said you’d be cool with it.”

You looked back at Suna and then at Bokuto with an upset look on your face. “ I thought you’d wait for me, Miya.” You said as you looked Atsumu in the eyes. Using his last name made him wince. “You couldn’t wait even though you said you would? We don’t hang out like we used to anymore. We don't do anything together anymore. You know that. And you couldn’t wait, so why try and lie?”

Atsumu shrugged his shoulders and laughed uneasily. “Y/n..! Heyyyyyy come ooon. You know it’s still our thing. I just got overexcited. Plus It was late and we watched it. But you should be happy for me! I mean I found out that —- likes, all the same, shows you and me like! And without you, we wouldn’t be having so much fun. You’re the reason why I’m such a good boyfriend cause you taught me to be better. Don’t be upset..! Come on, you know I still love you though!”

You stared at him and then looked at the ground. Your heart was racing and you felt like you received whiplash. He was doing all the things you two did together with them..? You were just a.. a temporary emotional connection for him to practice a relationship with. You used to tear up and feel giddy when he said he loved you. Now it felt empty. It stung more to hear those words. You knew it was a bad idea to come over. You opened your mouth to speak before closing it again. You had to play it off. “No worries, dude. Don’t even worry about it. It’s just a show.” You grinned half-heartedly but your hands were shaking.

Atsumu stared at your face for any signs of dishonesty and then smiled in relief. “Alright. Thanks for understanding.” He patted your back before leaving you on the couch. He widened his eyes and exhaled sharply as he walked away. He needed to remove himself from the tense situation.

Sakusa glanced at you and then at Suna, Bokuto and Akaashi. You looked distressed and anxious. The more they stared at you, the more you felt worse. Akaashi spoke up, “Y/n…? Are you okay?”

It broke you. A small question is all that it took for your eyes to water. You held onto your emotions for so long… It was just a dumb show. It shouldn’t have hurt that he lied and used your friendship to test out things to do in a relationship. It wasn’t fair. You thought he cared..! You looked up at him with a slow nod. Your vision became blurrier by the second. You were crying and no matter how hard you tried to wipe your tears. They didn’t seem to stop. Akaashi came to sit beside you. He furrowed his brows before putting an arm around your back.

Atsumu was a stupid star and you hated him. You hated loving him and you hated yourself for never saying anything. You hated your unrequited feelings. You hate his light. You hated his stupid smile and his stupid hair. You hated when he made you feel like he cared. You hated the times spent with him that made you stay. You loved that stupid star and you would never get to keep that star that you desperately wanted. Pathetic, that's what you were. You are completely hopeless and pathetic while crying in his apartment over him.

Akaashi wasn’t sure what was exactly wrong but he stayed with you while you cried. He motioned the others to leave. Sakusa and Suna quickly left the living room. He hesitated to speak, “Ko, go get me some water for them”. Bokuto nodded and ran. They were determined to help you. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but if you want me to take you home, I can.” You sniffled as you looked at the man who was struggling to comfort you. You nodded your head and your voice trembled. “I’m okay... Thank you, Keiji. I’m sorry to cry. I just have a lot on my mind,” you mumbled.

He shook his head while he listened. “Don’t apologize for your feelings. We’re all here for you. Finish calming down and we can talk.” He said as he rubbed your back. "You're safe with me, okay?" The comfort you missed desperately from a friend made your heartache. You leaned against him before sighing shakily. He held you like he meant it. You hadn’t felt so cared about in a long time, making you weak. His compassion made you feel better about being alone. Akaashi Keiji was different. He wasn’t your star either but his short timing of comfort and reassurance was more than what Atsumu did for you in almost a year. If Atumu wanted to be better, even as a friend. He would have done it.

"Do you get something to eat before you take me home? I could use the company of a friend right now." With no hesitation, Keiji smiled softly and nodded. Regardless of what was happening, he was happy you let him stay with you.

The number of people in the kitchen was becoming overwhelming when Bokuto burst in, yelling that he needed a cold water bottle. The disturbance caused some of them to argue. Atsumu was clinging to his partner’s waist. He laughed at the entertaining group bickering. Osamu raised a brow, “Where’s Keiji and Y/n?” Sakusa huffed in defeat and he motioned with his head. “In the living room. They needed a minute.”

This got Atsumu’s attention. “Oh? I didn’t know Keiji had a thing for them?” He asked for confirmation. “They better not be making out on my couch.” He said in annoyance. It could work between you and Akaashi… But you would have told your best friend first. You’d tell him before you picked someone to be with. Especially if it was someone in your friend group.

Bokuto shook his head. “Nah Uh, they started crying and he wanted to stay with them.” He took the water bottle into the living room.

Atsumu’s smile dropped. You were crying..? And you didn’t go to him first..? He followed Bokuto out of the kitchen quickly. He hated seeing you sad. It was one thing if he could avoid you behind a screen but not in person. Akaashi was hugging you. You looked so sad… Your eyes were red and puffy from crying. Small hiccups and deep breaths could be heard from you. It hurt to see you so upset and the guilt of not being there for once got to him. It dawned on him how he hadn't comforted you in a long time. Sure, you'd ask for his company or time. But you were capable of handling yourself. He had someone he needed to be there for, already. You would always wait for him anyway. He still cared but. It was unavoidable to brush off your cries now.

He watched as Bokuto and Akaashi soothed you. He stood there for a while. Just watching you. They kept you distracted and talked. They even managed to get a laugh out of you. Maybe it was the lighting, his guilt, or maybe the distance between you two made his heart fonder towards you. But your appearance and your energy captivated him. Your laugh made him feel nostalgic. It had been so long since he heard it. It triggered something inside of him. It was familiar and comforting. He always loved your laugh. It always made him laugh too. Atsumu was blinded by a familiar light then. A bright and cool light.

Y/n shined softly as a star at the beginning of the friendship. Atsumu forgot about your starlight the closer you two got. He stopped noticing your light a long time ago. Until now, he never took the time to notice it. He spent so long outshining you that he had forgotten what drew him to you in the first place. He admired your personality and how easily you adjusted to others. You got along with anyone if you wanted to. You were a kind and inviting star. Sure, anyone could be special. But you were you. You showed him throughout your friendship that you adored him. At this moment, it reminded him how often he’d look at you as a boost for himself. You had such a comforting light. You weren’t a big star like him. But you were a close star to him and he appreciated you. (In his own ways. Albeit unhealthy but still appreciated.) You were always reachable. You were always reliable. You were always there for him. Seeing you shine bright at the moment made him rethink if he overlooked your star for too long. He wanted to change that and be there for his best friend.

He smiled to see your attitude shift into your old happy self. You interacted with them effortlessly. Despite crying, you were more lively than before. Bokuto noticed him watching and he called him over. Atsumu didn’t anticipate for you to look at him and be disappointed?? It was a blow to his ego for you to make such a face. What did he do?! You always smiled at him like he was the best thing in the world. Where was that smile?? He furrowed his brows with a grin. “Everything okay over here? I heard you were crying. Do you wanna talk?”

“No, I’m good.”

“Oh..” He stood there dumbfounded. “Are you sure? You know I’m always here for you.” He watched as you nodded. Your body was still leaning against Akaashi. It didn’t bother him but he could’ve helped you too..! He wanted to be there for you but you said no...

“I think I’m going to head home. I’m just too tired. But we can catch up later, okay?” You said as you stood up from the couch. “Tell everyone I said bye,” you said with a smile.

Atsumu shook his head to refocus himself. “I’ll drive you then.” He said while he scrambled to get his shoes by the front door.

“Actually, Keiji is going to drive me home. So you don’t have to, Atsumu.” Your words made him drop his shoes on the floor. You never declined his company before. “Have fun and enjoy your night. Thanks for inviting me.” You said as you put your shoes in front of him. “I’m okay, so you can tell your partner that they don’t have to worry about you giving me any time.” He didn’t understand the change. What happened while he was gone?? Akaashi opened the door for you and he walked with you out.

Atsumu watched you walk away with Akaashi. Keiji looked back but you never did. If he finally was seeing your beautiful and bright light again. So why were you leaving him in the dark?

Sakusa and ---- came up behind him. “Are you gonna close the door?” One of them asked, but he didn’t move. He never felt so dismissed by you. Anyone else, he wouldn’t have cared but it was you. Sakusa remembered this scene. It was you staring longing at Atsumu at the game, almost a year ago. He felt pity for you and him. But it wasn’t his job to point out the problem. If you never said anything, Sakusa wouldn’t either. He leaned close to Atsumu’s ear. “I think you fucked up.” He whispered. He stepped away from him to make room for his partner.

Atsumu’s partner waved goodbye to you and Akaashi. “Babe, we have to close the door. The cool air will get out.” They giggled before kissing his cheek. They closed the door and Atsumu didn’t move from his spot. He stared at the shut door for a moment. “Babe? Atsumu? Hello? Are you okay? Baby talk to me?” His partner called out to him in a concerned tone but their voice was drowned out due to his realization. He missed his star.

Atsumu sat on the couch and was quiet for the rest of the night. He felt abandoned..? Hurt..? He was just being sensitive but... You made him feel unwanted. Everyone left and said goodbyes. Akaashi never came back that night. He stayed with you. At least that's what he heard from Bokuto. "Keiji said y/n is okay. He's probably gonna stay overnight to be sure they're okay." When was the last time you asked him to stay over for the night? His partner was upset by his depressed state. He mentally clocked out. He checked his phone constantly and after getting nothing from you for hours, he messaged you.

“Hey, I hope you’re okay, bestie. Just know that I love you and I’m here for you.” He typed out before typing again. “Call me in the morning, okay? I miss you ⭐️”

He never shot up so quickly when he heard his phone go off.

“Okay, good night, bestie. :)”

Despite getting a response, he felt worse than he did when he was waiting for you to reach out first. He even used the star emoji, which you would always use for him. Sure, the message was positive but it wasn't normal. You never said that you loved him back once.

Your light was starting to drift from his life. That’s the thing about stars. Stars die off but their light is shown afterward. At first glance, it’ll seem like things didn’t change. But you were already a fading star before he even had a chance.

#haikyuu #haikyuu angst #atsumu angst #atsumu x gender neutral reader #atsumu x y/n #atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #miya atsumu #my fics #miya osamu #suna rintarou #bokuto kotaro #sakusa kiyoomi #hinata shoyo #akaashi keiji #mentions of other haikyuu characters #gender neutral reader

185 notes · View notes

hellobunny044 · 9 months

Text

Panels. | Series

panel. in manga art, panels refers to the frame that wraps around one moment in time.

********************************************************

an original Haikyū AU pairing Udai Tenma (the og little giant)

warning!! : containing some manga content.

word count : 3540

********************************************************

Panel - 1

“Udai-san, this part and this one need to be reworked.”

“Which one?”

The guy with shoulder-length curly hair shifted, almost sending his chair to fly closer to the serious, glasses-guy. His face serious and his tone polite and organized, while beside him, the curly guy in his hoodie is casually listening to everything he says like an obedient puppy.

“The monologue is too long. It seems unnecessary and a waste of time. That’s it from me.”

“Akaashi-san, don’t you at least have something nicer to say to me?”

“That was the nicest I could be.”

“Geh.”

The curly black haired guy was, Udai Tenma, next to him was Akaashi Keiji, the editor.

Akaashi sighs, “There is also one thing I couldn’t agree with on the next page.”

“Which one?”

“This one.”

Following the editor’s finger pointing at a panel, Udai seriously listened to the way Akaashi specified the whole scene as ‘overly exaggerated’.

“It’s either you come up with another idea to picture the entire event, or you find another way not to make this panel look like this.”

In other words, a just-cut-it-out-of-the-page-and-good-luck-coming-up-with-something-more-worth-publishing.

“Do you think so?”

A confirmation from Akaashi had Udai nod in understanding. He takes his phone out and notes down everything the editor said while casually listening and answering what he needs to answer.

After Akaashi wrapped the discussion up, Udai casually decides, “Alright. I’ll hand it in in two days.”

“No can do.”

“Eehhh?” Staring at the editor’s serious face, Udai insistsing, “Why not?”

The editor sighed before he starts, “You have a fansign next month for this edition. Everything has to be published by the end of this month. I can only accept tomorrow at the latest, at seven in the morning.”

Udai started to whine, dropping his head on the table after Akaashi made a decision on the deadline. But to what end, though? The deadline had been decided and the dearest charming editor, Akaashi Keiji, is simply someone too savage to give a damn about anything when it comes to the deadline.

In the end, Udai did have to work hard to finish the latest edition of the manga tomorrow morning at the required hour.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Udai-san.”

Udai, with a helpless languid look, while hugging the manuscript sheet that Akaashi had corrected, turns around and stares at his editor pityingly. Still having a little determination to negotiate with the charming editor until there is a more humane leniency from him. He put on his most pathetic face in front of the editor, basically trying his best.

“If you understand, please go home and start working.”

Snorting, Udai jerks himself out of the room like some cranky bear, nearly flying, a little uprising against the unfair working hours. Or perhaps, he just hadn’t yet realized that everything is the result of his amazing skill to procrastinate and pile up all his work at one time, forgetting that he is only human and not a manga printing machine that can be pushed to go the extra mile.

But really, drawing is fun.

Since a long time ago, drawing had been an escape from fear, boredom, anxiety, and some random feelings that oftenly creeped up on him.

Whenever those unfamiliar, unpleasantly all too familiar feelings creeped into his mental frame, he would always tear up a piece of paper and start doodling. About anything. Whatever his eyes caught, or whatever his head imagined, or about some places wherever his brain took him to.

In the subtle sound when his pencil met the paper, there was the peace that flushed through, and it almost felt like he was in the heart of a serene forest. Then the chaos inside him would slowly die down.

There is peace in drawing.

Then here he was, back to the room where almost over twenty volumes of his manga were born. In a room where his pen met several strokes of paper in definite or indefinite lines, where his pen met the screen of his computer at busy hours before all those stories were brought to life as some book, namely manga, working for another extra special hour.

Udai Tenma was not a familiar name before the Zombie Knight Zom'bish manga became as famous as it is now. He was just a normal citizen, an ordinary guy living within the framework of a normal story somewhere in Tokyo.

Although he no longer yearns for those days, for those who still remember, they might recognize him better by a nickname other than his real name. Call it The Little Giant.

With that name, youths familiar with the volleyball of his day would immediately raise an eyebrow, amused, welcoming with a sky-rocketing expectation in the face of that particular figure who in his days was revered for his outstanding ability despite a fairly obvious weakness. The very figure to conquer the orange court of the famously annual national’s spring high volleyball tournament with some player known as the crows.

But those days are over.

Just like the beginning of a fiction novel, the past was left behind and the reader moves on to the next chapters, looking forward to what might lie ahead.

Udai Tenma is one of those readers who diligently turns the pages of the life story that fate had written for him.

His days as the little giant had come to an end when he decided to turn to the next chapter. Now, he is in the chapter where he is just the ordinary Udai Tenma, the manga artist Udai Tenma, living up to the result of his hard work creating over twenty volumes of manga, and is currently and will always be struggling with deadlines from his editor.

———————————————————

Udai-san, the deadline is tomorrow by seven am in the dot. Please don’t be late.

———————————————————

Udai grimaced as he read Akaashi’s message from the notification bar of his phone.

It’s not that he will pretend to be on a temporary memory-lost something funnier.

He is working hard.

Despite almost swallowing some of his curly strands as his mouth is busy munching some chips, his hands are busy working on what he had to fix on the entire panel.

“That damn Akaashi really is a dictator. He’s such a sadist. He really is one.”

His hands take a slight pause, scooping up a handful of chips that are almost gone on the other side of the table and feeding himself. He is busy. Very busy. Munching and working on those panels at the same time.

********************************************************

Udai could barely finish the latest volume of his Zombie Knight Zom'bish.

He grimaced at the fact that the editor is a sadistic perfectionist who alwa time, valuing time too much.

Of all the things that made him grimace more was how Akashi was always she looked like a pathetic misfit every time he handed in a new script.

At first glance, while waiting for Akashi to finish scanning the revised panels with his eagle eyes that always demanded the best of the best that he, as the artist, could come up with, Udai's feet shuffled anxiously under the table as his brain roamed, thinking about whether Akashi Keiji had ever once looked as pathetic as himself right now.

When Akashi Keiji is working as an editor, the room will be so quiet that Udai swears he could hear a needle dropping from the next room. Udai was even convinced that the charming editor had stppped breathing to look for mistakes that aren't worth publishing, to make sure that they wouldn't slip away from his eyes. But honestly, if anything, Udai couldn’t ask for someone better than Akaashi Keiji of all people.

One of the reasons would be that, "There are chips in the second drawer."

Udai had a bad habit of biting his finger as he waited patiently for the dearest editor to do his job scanning over the revised book. And Akashi, surprise surprise, apparently had gotten used to that bad habit of the manga artist, so, amusingly, he prepared the chips in his drawer. Knowing well that the artist had a high level of addiction to msg.

There will always be only a chip in the drawer and that's for Udai.

The curly-haired guy swears that Akashi is probably a hero who only ate healthy food on a daily basis, probably had been sworn over whatever good and bad throughout the heavens and the earth that he shouldn't eat chips.

Witnessing the way Akaashi Keiji being such a perfectionist that he is, making Udai almost lost the last trace of worthiness in himself.

If Akaashi Keiji is just a normal human being, then it should be that Udai Tenma is just a trash.

"Akaashi-san, you're indeed the most understanding person I've ever met in my life."

"Please eat something more proper at home, Udai-san."

Munching, Udai glanced at Akashi and replied, "I eat properly. It's just that, it's not complete if I don't get chips in a day. It's like my brain's freezing."

He held the chips solemnly in his lap while gazing out the window of Akashi's room.

Tokyo was slowly getting to start its bustling, busy morning as he would soon take a rest after this all was over.

"If you eat chips and work hard for the next volume, I don't have anything to say."

"I eat chips while working."

"You've always been on more chewing terms than drawing."

"For the record, I came just in time before the deadline, Akaashi-san. Let's not forget about that."

Udai ignored that Akashi sighed just after he spoke. It was the loudest and clearest he ever heard.

It was quiet for some time until Akaashi turned the last page and all the checks were completed.

Glancing at the table, Udai was still half-chewing when he asked, “Are you finished, Akaashi-san?”

Akaashi confirms, then adds, “If there are no obstacles, the publication will proceed as scheduled.”

Udai nods, “I guess I can rest now.”

“Please.”

Udai almost complains, but instead he helps himself to stand up and excused himself. “Then. I’ll go home and rest. Ja ne, Akaashi-san. I’ll leave the rest to you.”

Udai had stepped away when Akaashi called out. So he stopped and turned back to the editor who immediately greeted him with a question.

“Are you free on the weekend?”

Udai frowns. He did not expect such a question coming from a guy at all.

“This weekend?”

Akaashi showed two tickets to Udai who was increasingly confused about what he was dealing with. “I got extra tickets for the theater show on the weekend.”

Udai paused for a moment, trying to figure out the best response in the midst of his confusion. Wait a minute. “We’re... going together?”

“No. I’m busy this weekend.”

Of course.

Udai feels betrayed by Akaashi’s flat, nonchalant answer. Something so obvious shouldn’t have been said out loud like that. And how do he explain this… he feels rejected and uncomfortable as his head went everywhere, to the most ridiculous things he could think of.

“You can go with anyone with those tickets.”

“Anyone?”

“Anyone. Someone of your friends or maybe your girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?”

Then Akaashi’s question came like a bolt of lightning, “You don’t have something like that?”

Udai laughed blandly. “No.”

His laughter was gone but a smile was forced to line his lips when he rewarded the editor with a more or less the same question. “Why don’t you take your girlfriend instead?”

“I told you I’d be busy this weekend.”

Udai was caught off guard. He was half taken aback when he asked, “You have a girlfriend, Akaashi-san?”

“Yes.”

“Eeeehh? But who?” It would not be an exaggeration to say that Udai was almost shrieking at that surprisingly unexpected fact.

But on the other hand, Akaashi was too casual about it.

“Of course it’s none of your business.” The editor responded. This time he added, “If you can’t take these tickets, you’d better go home and rest. Please reduce your eye bags by getting enough sleep and eating regularly. Your fansign is next month, Udai-san.”

Udai laughed, he shook his head as he said, “Akaashi-san, you must have been a strict nerd with an angelic heart.”

“Thank you. I don’t know if I have ever been a nerd for even once.”

“Geeeh.”

Akaashi’s brows lifted, watching the curly-haired manga artist, “hm?”

Udai turned after bowing very politely to Akaashi, forcing the editor to return the bow properly. He then excused himself politely and closed the door very quietly. Weekly Shonen employs one hell of an editor and it’s Akaashi Keiji.

********************************************************

After a long and fairly strict process, the 22nd volume of Zombie Knight Zomb’ish was finally released. Reader responses were varied, but positive responses dominated. Then after all the process was over, the long awaited fansign that had been scheduled had come.

If asked about how familiar he is with fansigns—given that he is a manga artist—then Udai would honestly say that to this day he is still unfamiliar with some interaction with fans or fan service in modern words.

At his first fansign, Udai barely said anything and just kept his head down, focusing on the part where the fans came to ask him to sign their books. It wasn’t until Akaashi came whispering to him, telling him what he should say and do when his fans came, that Udai improved.

It wasn’t just a newfound nervousness. Since long time ago, Udai had never been very good with people. He had never really grasped the full feeling of being attached to his surroundings. Or maybe, he had, but only briefly.

Today, however, as the manga artist Udai Tenma, when he was confronted with fans lined up to wait their turn for just a few seconds with him, he had to overcome that weakness of his.

Sitting behind the the table was Udai, dressed more neatly than usual: not in a hoodie or plain t-shirt wrapped in his usual dark jacket, but in a light blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His hair, well... his hair remained in its usual style. Only, this time, he tried his best to avoid Mr. Akaashi always-demanding-the-best-of-what-one-can-give Keiji protests by styling his hair a bit neater.

From beside the desk where he sat, it was Akaashi who stood watching him like an owl from time to time.

“Good afternoon, thank you for coming and reading Zombie Knight Zomb’ish!”

In front of him was a quiet middle school student, reminiscent of the days when he was a student: the aloof, hostile, not really stood out, high-schooler Udai Tenma.

Udai wrote down that fan’s name after he spelled it and signed in the same place as where he signed it to the fan before him after learning that he had no special requests. Just like that, the youngster excused himself quickly from the spotlight. Udai was intrigued by the bit of the past that the fan brought before him, catching a little fragment of himself that used to hate attention in more or less the same way.

His smile lingered as he greeted the next fan who was surprisingly excited to meet him. Without prompting, she expressed her thoughts on his work. It was always pleasant to hear some people express their likeness about how good his works are, but to hear someone passionately declare an addiction to his work was something quite ridiculous and amusing.

Just before security let the next fan in, from behind came Akaashi who commented, “At least that person won’t be having an msg overdose.”

Udai still had a chance to reply, “Come on! It’s not that I’m addicted to some weirder things.”

“Alright. Please turn around and say hello to your fans, Udai-san.”

Udai returned to being the manga artist his fans had been eager to meet.

“Good afternoon. Thank you for coming and thank you for always reading Zombie Knight Zomb'ish!”

Udai didn’t expect that someone would talk about anything other than how much they loved and appreciated his work. He did not expect that the day would come when one of his fans would say something about him.

“Seeing you in person really amazed me. You have a very handsome face and a very sweet personality.”

“Eh?”

Udai almost stopped when he realized that of all people, he was the one who objected most to what was said about him instead of feeling grateful that one of his many fans was saying nice things about him in person. No, instead he was amused at himself blushing over the unsubstantiated accusation.

He swore he wanted to say something in his defense if only their time was not up and he had to attend to the next fan immediately. In the end, in a low tone under his breath, Udai said, “You must have the wrong person.”

Behind him, he caught an amused huff that made him take the time to slightly threaten the dreamy editor through his gaze. He had just enough time to return before the next fan arrived, more than enough to hear how the first thing the fan noticed was that the very editor standing behind him had a cute face.

That was definitely not something new. It was no secret that Akaashi had a charming face that attracted attention from the moment Udai first met him. As a man, Udai admitted that Akaashi had everything that made him worthy of being called a handsome man: a certain amount of coolness, a charming face, a serious and hardworking tendency in everything he did, a dexterity that he picked up from his days as a setter at one of Tokyo’s powerschools, and a fashion sense that was definitely a ladies’ delight. But definitely not with how fans express Akaashi Keiji in their dictionary.

Udai swore that he desperately had to hold back his laughter when the fan said that Akaashi looked like a baby owl.

If only Udai had enough time to pull out his cell phone, he would have taken a picture of Akaashi blushing. A super rare sight.

From then on, after the fansign, Udai started bringing up the fan’s words. It was clear to see how the strict editor Akaashi Keiji was caught off-guard by a fan praising him out of the blue.

At lunchtime, Udai didn’t stop teasing Akaashi about it, being so serious when stating that soon, the editor might be getting his own fans, or might soon be holding his own fansign considering that, at the end of the fansign, some fans had gathered and questioned whether the editor-san could get into the photo.

After quite happily colonizing Akaashi with the childishness he suddenly developed at the last minute, Udai excused himself and went to the toilet.

When he finished, Udai was walking at a leisurely pace. But fate wrote something different by still making him bump into someone even at the most leisure pace he took, even when he made sure that he paid attention to his surroundings this time.

Right in front of the corridor, a cell phone fell to the floor, followed by its owner he had just bumped into who immediately bent down to apologize and immediately followed to pick up her cell phone at the same time as Udai who also rushed to grab the phone for her.

Udai did not immediately get up when his eyes caught something he did not expect. Something unfamiliar yet familiar and warm in his memory. He stopped when the person he bumped into walked past him.

The sound of her footsteps gradually moving further away from her back, then stopped.

Seconds slowed in his world. The bustling sounds of the shopping center were drowned out by the silence that suddenly erupted through this unexpected coincidence. His heartbeat slowed down as if accounting for every second that passed. Inside his head, questions about this and that swirled around. He was not exaggerating anything to say that his world had once a blizzard. When the voice came, the snow in his world melted away, forcibly driven away with the unfamiliar warmth of spring bursting from the bottom of his chest when the voice rang in his ears.

“Udai... san?”

There were a few seconds that he missed before he helped himself to turn around, welcoming a presence he never dared to expect to be anywhere before his eyes.

His world turned into a black and white panel as all the color he knew returned to the girl.

“You’re... Udai-san, right? Udai Tenma-san. Right?”

Udai knew what name he would call, what he would say when his senses reconnected with that presence. Her.

He swallowed, swallowing all the feelings that came together in this unexpected encounter, trying to stem them with a little courage to open his voice.

“Sasaki?”

Sasaki Tsubasa, the one who is staring at him with a glimmer of newly flushed pleasure in her eyes. Her smile amused. Her eyes warm. Steadily, not awkward like him, she helped herself to face him properly.

“Oh. It’s really you, Udai-san.”

The time her smile bloomed, his world that once was a black and white panel, turned colorful. Just like when cherry blossoms bloomed during the first day of spring, she was there to color everything again.

“Thankfully, I didn’t get the wrong person.”

—

next chapter coming soon.

#udai tenma #the little giant #manga artist udai tenma #udai tenma the little giant #haikyuu #haikyu x reader #udai tenma x female oc #udai tenma and akaashi keiji #weekly shonen akaashi keiji #haikyu angst #my story #haikyu manga reference #haikyu post time skip #tenma udai #haikyu au #original story

26 notes · View notes

oikawasstofu · 1 year

Text

Something something angst unrequired love AU in which Kenma likes Kuroo who likes Bokuto who likes Akaashi who likes Kenma

#~angst~#unrequited crush #unrequired love #haikyuu #kuroo testuro #kozume kenma #bokuto kotarou #akaashi keiji #bokuakakuroken #sorta #my texts

11 notes · View notes

katsu-kingdom · 2 years

Text

In the dark room, the moonlight slowly seeped in, greeting the hollow space in the kitchen. To the raven-haired boy seated in front of it, it was a gravely greeting, sickening to the stomach. As if it was mocking him of how lonely he felt.

'Are there wrong ways to love someone? ' He pondered

Gripping the glass of beer in front of him harder, Akaashi recalled the times when you would sit in the hollow space and chatter away about how your day went with exaggerated events that you so claimed to be true but he would chuckle knowing that that's just how your dramatic self would see it.

It was always during the night-time when you would ramble, about this time.

This exact time.

You would hurry to finish all the work you needed to, only awaiting the time when you would ramble on and Akaashi knew it.

You would try not to seem too excited to hide the fact that your annoying rants were what you most looked forward to, as if you were trying to hide the biggest secret in the world. But Akaashi knew too well. It was downright obvious. So he would postpone his schedule from then on, without your knowledge.

He took a sip of the beer, facing difficulty to gulp it down. It just seemed to take too much energy to swallow it, seeming as if lifting the glass had taken up all his few remaining energy. Everything seemed so heavy.

'If you take one more sip of that beer' you waved the ladle in your hand, 'I'm gonna hit you.'

Akaashi chuckled. I'm supposed to be the one taking care of you, he'd thought at that time

You always seemed to care too much about the trivial matters, but reacted so recklessly in the consequential ones, in the process of freaking out.

And in the midst of all things that went haywire during that time, Akaashi was always there for you. But if the moments that transpired every day which translated to Akaashi looking after you weren't enough, it was made clear on that one night.

The night when he stayed up late to help you work on your thesis. You were knocked out after five straight hours of working on it, drowsing off to what seemed like an eternal sleep.

A fallen pen startled you awake, and you saw a worn out Akaashi, looking battered up. He was nodding off, desperately trying to fight off his sleep.

What is he doing? this isn't even his work, he always worried more about you than you did for yourself. You felt like a hindrance, exploiting him even if you didn't intend to.

The feelings of gratitude slowly turned into feelings of guilt. You happened to apologise more than you thanked him.

Of course, Akaashi noticed it. But at that time he did not know what to do. Or maybe that was more of an excuse.

He knew he was holding back on a lot. But he couldn't speak it out. However, when he thought it was the only way to mend it, he was proven wrong.

You came home happier. A little later, but happier.

So he didn't do anything.

Gradually, you came home later and later. The row of greetings started to change- Akaashi began greeting you home instead of the other way around.

Busy day, he thought. But deep down he knew that was not it. He noticed by the way your outfits became more sophisticated, by the way you spent more time getting ready. And also, by the way your ramblings became shorter. Your eyes still bore the glimmer as you conversed with him, though brief. But what stung him was how your glimmer seemed more bright. He yearned to be the reason for it.

The dusk was falling leisurely that evening that Akaashi wished to erase. He was working on his papers when you came rushing to his room. As you held the door frame, you looked as though you were about to bring the best news ever.

Akaashi found it so endearing. He always found you endearing.

'I have something great to tell you, Keiji,' you grinned.

Then he became more aware of the silence as you went on.

The way you shyly talked about a guy named 'Oikawa', how you fidgeted from time to time, a tint of red painted on your face.

And an apology, for not telling him beforehand.

And as though that wasn't enough to shatter the broken pieces that lay beneath, you talked about moving out the next week.

Another apology, for being a huge burden.

He should not have been surprised. He knew it the whole time.

How you saw yourself as a burden to him.

He knew it.

How you felt guilty.

He knew it.

And how you had found someone who made you happy.

He knew it.

For the remaining days, the both of you talked and went about normally as you did before. At least that was how Akaashi was trying to portray himself, that he was happy for you. That as a friend, he would support you.

Akaashi looked at the ray of light in the hollow space. That was how he'd always seen you from the start- like a ray of light, beaming at him everyday.

From the time they met at high school in his second year, you always made him happy.

You were immensely chaotic yet inordinately peaceful. Like the huge waves of the sea below the warm sun.

You would tell him that he always made you happy. That you were so glad to have him as your support system, to help you sort out your life.

He did not look away from the hollow space no matter how painful it was. He wanted to picture you there, to embrace you, to feel the warmth. But the more he tried the more disturbing the thought became, that you had drifted away from his life.

The words still clung to him. Always at the tip of his tongue but never going any further than that. He scolded himself for being a coward every time but what could that do when it never would have changed a thing?

However, in the back of his mind, he knew he still regretted it, despite knowing the answer he would have gotten anyways.

'It was just a few words' he mused after hearing the grave news.

But now it was too late.

The darkness swallowed him. He felt suffocation take over him, but he did not move away.

He recalled the time when you were done packing, fidgeting too often.

'I'm too nervous about this,' you said but the anticipated expression did not seem to wipe off of your face.

'He must be all the same,' he said as he forced himself to bring his lips to a smile.

'Thank you,' you smiled. 'You better keep in touch with me though.'

But he knew all too well he would not be able to. The nights that were cut short after you met Oikawa was enough proof of that.

A ring from the doorbell alarmed the both of you.

'He's here,' you smiled. You waved at him as you carried your luggage.

You bid your last farewell and left the raven-haired standing alone in front of the door. The deadly silence engulfed and suffocated him.

He looked at the hollow space as the ray now became thinner before fading away completely, leaving only the darkness to eat him up of what was left in him.

He sat in the silence, accepting no company. The words still hung in the back of his mind. All he wanted to say, was that you made him as happy as he made you.

'Thank you,' he whispered, tearing down the roar of silence that was stabbing him. He uttered those words, intending to desperately tend to the wound and stop the bleeding. 'For staying by my side.'

He wondered if those words would have changed anything at all. If you would understand the weight of it.

But it did not matter anymore, he knew beforehand that this scenario was imminent. Because the whole while, he had always tried to get through those three words in the words he carved, and in the actions he portrayed.

But the words that clung deep into him were words you never responded to.

Ever since he met you.

Till now.

#i don't get it like i keep on writing angst #Just picturing Akaashi as a roommate my parents would actually allow to have #like he's such a decent boy #this is the second fanfic ive posted now. tysm for the people who took notice of my first fic and liked it #i was leisurely writing that for myself so that was actually unexpected #btw y/n might be a bit ooc here #akaashi x reader #akaashi angst #akaashi keiji #haikyuu akaashi #akaashi x y/n #haikyuu x reader #akaashi keiji x reader

39 notes · View notes

elysiaslvr · 1 year

Text

IN ANOTHER LIFE WAS SO GOOD IDC IF ITS OVERRATED ITS GOOD 😭😭😭😭

5 notes · View notes

msjdott · 2 years

Text

Until My Lungs Give Out

↳ Word Count: 1,259

↳ Main Ship: BokuAka

↳ Summary: Denial, love, or just platonic feelings? How do you decide when you’re so smitten with your best friend and everything about him?

Edit on the cover was made by yours truly.

↳ Author’s Note: I wrote another short one on a whim and thankfully inspiration struck at the right moment! It is a bit angsty but there is comfort at the end. Have fun reading!

Until My Lungs Give Out

↳ Read it on ao3 here!

↳ Check out my Masterlist for more!

11 notes · View notes

coconutlimeverbena · 2 years

Text

In Another Life is to BokuAka as Somewhere Over the Rainbow is to KuroKen

Both incredibly sad, but not gratuitously so. It's not tagged, but Somewhere Over the Rainbow does contain Major Character Death(s). But it's Reincarnation, so not technically dead?? It has elements of The Promised Neverland in it.

#KuroKen #kuroo tetsurou #kozume kenma #bokuaka #bokuto kotarou #akaashi keiji #somewhere over the rainbow #in another life #fic recs #haikyuu fanfic #haikyuu #angst #my posts #ao3 #the promised neverland

17 notes · View notes

rewh0re · 1 year

Text

SLEEPING ON THE COUCH AFTER AN ARGUMENT

Ft.: Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji

Angst but with fluff at the end. Just my boys kuroo and Akaashi and sleeping on the couch after an argument. Reblogs + interactions are highly appreciated!!

༊ KUROO

Kuroo cannot sleep. It's nearly 3 in the morning and he's twisting and turning on the bed for about an hour now, unable to fall asleep. The other side of his bed seems unnaturally cold and empty due to your lack of presence. You both had gotten into an argument about 2 hours prior. You had tried to convey your thoughts across to him about how worried you were that he was overworking himself and in his state of tiredness he was definitely not in the mood for your nagging. He took out his annoyance on you which resulted in some back and forth yelling before you decided to give him some space and sleep on the couch. But it had been hours and however much he denied it, Kuroo could not sleep without you. So, deciding to swallow his stupid pride he went out to the living room just to find your shivering self on the couch. You had a thin blanket on and it was a cold night.

"I know you're not sleeping," he whispered as he knelt by the couch to look at you.

What he saw broke him, there were dried tears on your face. He always fell apart when he saw you cry.

"Look I'm really sorry for what I said. Half of those things, I didn't mean them and neither should I have uttered them in the first place. It has happened now and as much as I wish I could change it, I can't. So, I'm asking you to forgive me y/n. I'm really really sorry. I love you so much ," he stroked your cheek and you could not pretend anymore. You slowly opened your eyes to look at him.

"You do?" You asked silently.

"More than you could ever know, love. You're the best thing that's happened to me. You're not nagging when you worry about me. I'm sorry for saying that. I was annoyed and irritated and tired and I took it out on you like a fool. I've said hurtful things and I feel terrible for it. Forgive me please," he looked at you with so much love and adoration as he asked for forgiveness that you broke again. You sniffled a little before cracking a small smile.

"I've said some hurtful things as well. Things I shouldn't have said. I'm sorry," you whispered to him.

"It's okay. Come back to bed now love. Tomorrow, I'm taking the day off and we'll do whatever you want to do. Sounds good?" He smiled at you, stretching his hand towards you for you to take it.

"Sounds perfect," you smiled as you took his hand in yours.

༊ AKAASHI

Arguments with Akaashi were rare. Most of the time, you both would talk things out and solve the problem rationally rather than lashing out. You both tried to be logical and tried to communicate no matter how tired or angry you both were. But sometimes however, that was just not the case. Sometimes, things got out of hand, anger overpowered your more rational sides and things got ugly. Tonight just happened to be one of those nights. Honestly, you don't even know how the argument started. You just knew that both of you were exhausted from work and on top of that things had been rough in your personal life lately. These reasons probably got to you and an argument took place. You both had verbally hurt each other to the extent that Akaashi decided to sleep on the couch, unable to fight anymore. He left you in the bedroom alone and fuming. But the moment he picked up a blanket and went to the couch, regret immediately filled you up. You ran after him to the living room where he laid on the couch. God, he didn't even have a pillow under his head, his neck would hurt like crazy in the morning.

"Keiji," you called out his name and as you expected, there was no answer from him.

"Keiji I'm sorry," you sat at the end of the couch where his feet were propped up on the hand rest.

"I let my anger and frustration take over me and said some pretty shitty things. I'm sorry I really did not mean them. I would never," at that, he looked up at you to see your eyes getting teary as a frown took over your face.

"Don't cry y/n," he sat up and brought himself closer to you.

"I don't know what took over me. I'm so sorry. I always try to be calmer and more thoughtful while speaking but today I don't know. Work has been stressful and I probably took that out on you. Something I shouldn't have done and something I highly regret," you took his hand as you looked at him.

"I said some pretty awful stuff to you too, you know. You're not entirely at fault here. I'm sorry. Next time, I'll try to be more thoughtful and I'll definitely not yell at you again," he gave you a small smile as he opened his arms for you to hug him. You gladly did.

"Me too. Come to bed now. You didn't even bring a pillow with you. Do you want your neck to hurt?" He laughed a little at that.

"Always thinking about me aren't you," he hugged you tighter.

"Mhm. Keiji?" You started as you broke the hug to look at him. "We're okay right?"

"We will be, love."

4K notes · View notes

powchakko · 7 months

Text

𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐝𝐚𝐲..?

synopsis. greeting them after a tiring day at practice + stuff i’d like to do with them

word count. 1k

characters. tsukishima kei, akaashi keiji, oikawa tooru

warnings. reader is called princess (in oikawa's part), lil suggestive?? + mentions of a wound (in tsukishima’s part), reverse comfort, lil angst if u squint, CLICHE STUFF

notes. asdfghjkfghj first time posting my works here! hope y'all enjoy reading it heheh-

𖤐 tsukishima k.

“tadaima,” you heard a soft voice accompanied by the click of the door closing.

“kei!” you exclaimed, lips instantly tugged into a smile as you run towards your boyfriend. you crashed into him, almost knocking him backwards. “okaeri,” you said while inhaling his familiar scent and wrapping your arms around his lean frame.

tsukishima only hummed in response, though he was quick to return the embrace and press a kiss to the crown of your head.

“how was practice today?” you asked as you pulled away from the hug. but your smile vanished and transformed into a somewhat panicked expression when you saw a huge bruise on your lover’s cheek. “oh my gosh, kei. what happened?!”

“a certain someone accidentally hit the ball towards my face,” he replied, wincing in pain as you gently laid your hand on top of the bruise, your thumb stroking the red and blue-ish skin.

“hinata?”

“who else,” the blonde averted his gaze and sighed. “don’t worry, i already compressed it with an icepack.”

you suddenly grinned. “doesn’t look worse than that hickey you gave me–”

“urusai.” tsukishima glared at you, his face flushed red. “don’t you dare mention that.”

“i’m joking, i’m joking,” you laughed. your hand was still resting on his cheek, which, to him, somehow did a better job of making the pain hurt less than the icepack. he gingerly took your hand and guided it towards his lips before pressing a soft kiss onto your palm.

“can we eat dinner now?” he mumbled against your skin, causing you to squirm at the ticklish feeling.

“of course we can,” smiling even wider than before, you pulled your arm away and slipped it around his as both of you walked to the kitchen.

𖤐 akaashi k.

you were a little surprised when you came out of the bathroom and found your boyfriend slumped across the sofa. you were happy, of course, and couldn’t wait to eat dinner and spend some time with him. but the tired expression on his face forced yourself to postpone all the hugs and kisses you were ready to shower him with.

“keiji?” you tried, your voice soft and careful.

akaashi slowly opened his eyes, emerald hues boring into your own (e/c) eyes. he slightly pulled his lips to the sides. “hey, sweetheart.”

“rough day at practice?” you asked again, this time making your way to the sofa.

“hm,” the boy mumbled. you were now sitting cross-legged beside him. slowly, you placed your hands on either side of his face, guiding him to lie down on your lap. akaashi instantly melted into your touch, and you could almost see his fatigue evaporating into nothingness as he finally settled comfortably on your legs.

“tell me everything,” you said gently. your fingers were already getting to work, untangling and smoothing out akaashi’s raven locks. he let out a sigh of contentment and closed his eyes a second time.

silence hung in the air – though it felt peaceful and comforting to both of you rather than awkward. you were still busy playing with your boyfriend’s hair. knowing he wasn’t much of a talker, you didn’t press for answers. besides, wasn’t simply being there for him enough?

“i’ll tell you about it tomorrow,” he whispered. “‘m too tired right now,”

you hummed in response. “do you want to eat dinner, then? after that–”

“can we stay like this for a little longer?”

you looked down at his face, a little surprised when you found akaashi already staring lazily back at you. you smiled before cupping his cheeks and placing a quick kiss to his nose. “actually, i think i’d like that, too.”

𖤐 oikawa t.

you yelped as you felt two cold arms encircling your waist, pulling you into a tight hug. you quickly turned off the stove and pulled the earplugs from your ears before turning around, only to see your boyfriend’s face nestling comfortably on your shoulder.

“tooru?!” you exclaimed. “oh my god, i’m so sorry. why didn’t you tell me you’re home?”

he grinned, giving you a quick peck on the cheek. “i’m here now, aren’t i?”

despite his playful tone, you could see the fatigue overshadowing his features. how it made his smile look a little less genuine, how it gave him subtle frown wrinkles across his forehead, how it caused his voice to sound groggy. “tooru?” you called to him softly. “did anything happen at practice?”

that earned a small chuckle from him. “you know me so well, princess,”

“tooru…”

“tell me about your day instead,” he interjected. “mine’s too shitty to talk about.”

this didn’t seem like the oikawa tooru you knew. he’d usually protest and complain nonstop about how terrible practice was, how frustrating his underclassmen were, or literally any other bad thing about his day. something really bad must’ve happened that it caused him to be this quiet.

“was it that bad?” you asked again, this time turning around and cupping his cheeks in your hands. they’re so cold, you thought silently.

“not as bad as how i must’ve smell like right now,” the brunette grinned again. “i’ll go take a shower, m’kay?”

“tooru, look at me.” you demanded, tightening your hold on the sides of his face, which made him tense a little. “i need to know if something happened. please tell me what’s wrong.”

oikawa stared at you and sighed, his smile faltering. “everything,” he whispered before roughly dumping his forehead on your shoulder. “i dunno… it all just feels so tiring…”

you noticed how his fingers were rubbing the letters of ‘i love you’ on your back. you carefully lifted your arms and hugged him back, your fingers tracing the shape of a heart right below his shoulder. a silent ‘i love you, too’.

“will a movie marathon cheer you up?” you asked after a few while. “i can make you some ice cream sandwiches, too, if you want.”

“with milk bread?” he muttered into your neck.

“with milk bread.”

you felt his lips form a smile against your skin, and despite how you couldn’t see it, it felt more genuine this time.

#akaashi's is the shortest one despite him being my fav character T^T #imo oikawa's is the best in this one lol #ASDFGHJJDFGHJK RLLY HOPING THIS FIRST POST WILL DO WELL #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #haikyuu tsukishima #akaashi keiji #akaashi x reader #haikyuu akaashi #oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #haikyuu oikawa #★ ── asha.writes

574 notes · View notes

kissedcloud · 15 days

Text

choose your adventure. 𝝑𝝔 not a writing blog; this is a fanfic archive only 𝝑𝝔

FFVII │ ALL

cloud strife

reno sinclair

rufus shinra

zack fair

sephiroth

CONTENT │ ALL

fluff

smut

angst

FFXV │ ALL

noctis lucis caelum

gladiolus amicitia

prompto argentum

ignis scientia

CONTENT │ ALL

fluff

smut

angst

FFXVI │ ALL

clive rosfield

joshua rosfield

barnabas tharmr

benedikta harman

CONTENT │ ALL

fluff

smut

angst

RESIDENT EVIL │ ALL

leon kennedy

ada wong

luis serra

CONTENT │ ALL

fluff

smut

angst

TEARS OF THEMIS │ ALL

marius von hagen

artem wing

luke pearce

vyn richter

CONTENT │ ALL

fluff

smut

angst

LOVE AND DEEPSPACE │ ALL

zayne

xavier

rafayel

CONTENT │ ALL

fluff

smut

angst

MY HERO ACADEMIA │ ALL

bakugo katsuki

todoroki shoto

hitoshi shinso

amajiki tamaki

yo shindo

chisaki kai

todoroki enji

CONTENT │ ALL

fluff

smut

angst

JUJUTSU KAISEN │ ALL

ryomen sukuna

utahime iori

fushiguro megumi

zen'in naoya

kamo choso

gojo satoru

CONTENT │ ALL

fluff

smut

angst

HAIKYUU! │ ALL

kageyama tobio

oikawa tooru

akaashi keiji

rintaro suna

CONTENT │ ALL

fluff

smut

angst

pick your poison.

modern

yandere

college

mafia

stepcest

soulmates

vampire

band

fake dating

polyamorous

tattoo artist

misc.

faves

tbr

analyses

fanart

last updated, 4/24/24.

60 notes · View notes

dabiekql · 1 year

Text

HQ Akaashi - Y/N Getting in Accident (Angst to Fluff)

-----

Imagine Y/n getting into an accident that she had to be hospitalized, but it just happened to be when Akaashi was out of town due to work. Y/n debates whether or not she should contact and inform Akaashi about her situation, but she decided to go against it since she didn't want to bother him. Also, it wasn't like she was dying, she should be released soon. She thought it wasn't much of a big deal.

However, her being silent doesn't mean that Akaashi won't be informed of her situation. She forgot about that part that she was shock when her door opened with a loud bang, revealing Akaashi who was out of breath.

"Keiji...?" Y/n called out his name in shock. "What are you doing here? How about work? How did you know I was here?"

When Akaashi looked up, Y/n bit her lips and looked away from him. She saw how he was at the verge of breaking down. She didn't mean to cause him any worries. She felt fine, so she didn't contact him, but apparently that wasn't what Akaashi wanted.

"Why...?" Akaashi mumbled as he approached her. When y/n looked at him hesitantly, he kneeled beside her bed and held her hands tightly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Y/n opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn't really form any words as she didn't know what to say exactly. Should she be honest? Or should she apologize first?

At her hesitation, Akaashi's grip tightened. "Am I that unreliable? Am I nothing to you?"

"No, of course not!" Y/n said in a hurry. "I... I just... I'm sorry..."

At her apology, Akaashi let out a shaky breath before speaking. "Please... Do you know how I felt when I heard from someone else that you were in an accident? The fact that I wasn't there for you as soon as you woke up, it just broke my heart..."

"I'm sorry, Keiji..." Y/n said in a low voice. "I just didn't want to bother you since you were out of town and I felt fine, so I thought it wasn't significant."

"Everything about you is significant... So please, don't keep these things from me. Tell me..." Akaashi said with pleading voice. "I want to be there for you. To be able to support you, to be someone you can rely on. I want to be your pillar."

Y/n felt her eyes turning teary at his words as she nodded. At her actions, Akaashi sighed in relief before hugging her tightly.

It was like everything went back to normal after this incident, but this somewhat have traumatized Akaashi that he developed the habit to video call rather than messaging her since she can just lie through text. But he will still message her even more frequently to check up on her and tries not to go out of town, making sure he was beside her. At the same time, he will take care of her even more than he used to, keeping a hawk eye on her.

499 notes · View notes

hellobunny044 · 8 months

Text

Panels. | Series

panel. in manga art, panels refers to the frame that wraps around one moment in time.

********************************************************

an original Haiky AU pairing Udai Tenma (the og little giant)

warning!!: containing some manga content.

word count: 5914

********************************************************

Panel - 7

Sendai City Gymnasium, Miyagi Prefecture, Nine years ago

The crowd was roaring in anticipation as the final match of the Prefectural Volleyball Tournament of Miyagi Prefecture between Karasuno High School and Shiratorizawa Academy was on the edge.

It was a neck-to-neck game that had been ongoing for hours, and no one knew who would emerge victorious. The score was 22-21 in the final set, a match point for Karasuno after one hell of a catch me if you can deuce battle with Shiratorizawa Academy.

The players were drenched in sweat and breathing heavily, but their spirits were still indomitable.

As Udai stepped onto the court, he could feel the weight of the crowd’s anticipation, and the stakes were higher than ever before. The tension was palpable, and each player could feel the weight of the game on their shoulders.

The game was no longer just about winning or losing, but it was about the pride and joy that came with being the best team in the Prefectural Volleyball Tournament of Miyagi Prefecture.

Udai knew that being the ace meant he had every right to lead his team to victory, and with that thought in mind, he took a deep breath and waited for the ball to come his way.

Shiratorizawa’s blockers were a formidable barrier that Udai had to blast through. He had to overcome them, and with only a split second to react, Udai rose to meet the challenge.

With all his power, he smashed the ball, soaring it through the air towards the opposing team, aiming for the perfect spot.

Shiratorizawa’s defense was tough, but Udai was determined to push through. He had been preparing for this moment his entire life. And then, as if by magic, he saw an opening in the blocker’s defense. He aimed his shot carefully towards the open gap with pinpoint accuracy. His strike was like lightning, and the ball crashed downwards onto the opponent’s side, past their defense.

Udai’s teammates watched in awe as the ball soared towards the gap, and with a loud crunch, it hit the ground. Karasuno's supporters erupted in joy, and the sound echoed through the stadium.

He had scored the block out, securing their victory over their rivals.

Karasuno players ran to Udai, their adrenaline pumping. They hugged him, and celebrated their win with great exhilaration. With Udai’s efforts, they had become the Prefectural Volleyball champions. Shiratorizawa’s blockers looked down in dismay, unsure where they went wrong.

As Karasuno team lifted the trophy, the entire stadium erupted in applause. The win was a moment of triumph, and Udai had proved his mettle once again. He had proven that size doesn’t always matter, and that a player’s heart, passion, and skill were all that mattered.

Karasuno High School had won the Prefectural Volleyball Tournament of Miyagi Prefecture, and with Udai’s contribution and the team’s dedication, they had become legendary in the game.

For Udai, it was a moment he would cherish forever, and he knew that it was much more than just winning. It was about the love of the game, the camaraderie of the team, and the joy of triumph.

As Udai basked in the afterglow of Karasuno’s win in the Prefectural Volleyball Tournament, he noticed some people from his school approaching him.

He had always been an aloof and hostile character, and he wasn’t used to random people trying to talk to him.

Udai felt a wall rise up within him, and he didn’t know how to react. He was so used to being on his own and not letting anyone get close to him.

People from his school tried to congratulate him and bask in the win together, but Udai wasn’t having any of it. He dismissed their attempts to talk with icy silence, immediately excluding himself from the crowd.

He wanted to be alone and process everything that had happened. He was proud of his team, and was grateful for those people’s support and sentiment, but alone was ten times better.

So, Udai excused himself and disappeared into the crowd, leaving the people from his school looking disappointed and confused. He just needed to be alone.

********************************************************

As Udai walked away from the crowd, his heart was heavy with conflicting emotions. He was proud of Karasuno’s victory, but he was also struggling with the attention and recognition that came with it.

He… just didn’t know how to share his joy with others.

As he continued to wander aimlessly, he became aware of someone calling his name.

“Udai Senpai!”

He turned, seeing a particular, familiar girl approaching him. Sasaki Tsubasa. He knew her, remembered. It’s just, this time, he didn’t know that one other girl tagging along with her, looking like she was being dragged and completely helpless about it when she was pulling her in her iron grip.

A moment there. What’s with this continuous encounter with this girl? When did it start to feel like a habit rather than just a coincidence? And since when did this girl had become so familiar with calling him around, stopping him like they know each other, Udai wondered. He wondered if he ever made her feel that way before. And he just wondered what she wanted from him now.

“Thank you for the great play during the match, senpai! We’re having a great time watching from the cheering section.” She greeted, “And congratulations on your victory.”

Should he… respond to that?

Well, he technically had turned everyone down with his hostility, the aloof brat that he was.

“Thank you.”

Just a little thank you won’t hurt, right?

Then he was staring. Like… staring and just waiting whilst asking himself, what there is to be pondered about that he stayed still and not yet walked away.

He watched the way Sasaki Tsubasa cautiously looking at him, studying everything, whilst distractedly turning to her friend, acting so weird.

She was mumbling something about whatever. That’s enough to make him linger in his defense.

Studying everything that’s currently going on before him, Sasaki Tsubasa’s friend was holding a small box of homemade cookies. She looked nervous and jittery, and Udai could sense her discomfort as Tsubasa pushed her forward.

“This— my friend has something for you.”

Udai’s gaze shifted to the glasses girl beside her, stammering in her words, looking nervous.

Why would anyone be scared to give something to him? He was just a member of the Karasuno volleyball team, albeit one of the shorter ones— no. Why would anyone ever give him something in the first place?

“I m-made you this.” She said, handing some cookies to him.

Udai blinked, couldn’t comprehend what’s coming for him.

Sasaki Tsubasa explained that her friend just wanted to give them to him as a token of appreciation.

Udai felt a twinge of guilt as he watched the girl nervously clutching the cookies. He knew how hard it was to put yourself out there and offer something to others with your own hands. But at the same time, he didn’t want to create any false expectations. He couldn’t promise anything.

“She made them herself,” Sasaki Tsubasa said, adding one more pressure in his guilt.

Like he can unheard what the girl previously told him about it.

Sasaki Tsubasa then continued, her voice insistent. “She had always been the fans of the club—“

“Sasaki…”

She turned distractedly to the girl to tell her, “leave this one to me—“ then shifted to Udai to continue, “and you’ve been the one working really hard right there to do all the hard tasks blasting through for a point that leads the team to get to this point. You’re the Little Giant of Karasuno. She admires you—”

“Sasaki… you’re being too loud about that…”

Sasaki Tsubasa turned, “Datte, you admire him, don’t you?”

The girl was fighting for dear life to utter the word, redness dusting on her face, “W-well, I-I do, but…”

“Then, there’s nothing wrong about that. He’ll listen.”

Sasaki Tsubasa turned briefly at him and said, “He’s still here, isn’t he?”

Her friend also turned briefly to look at him, but when she met his gaze, she immediately looked away.

Instead of helping her out with whatever admiration she has towards him, Sasaki Tsubasa was actually torturing her friend. Almost really clueless about her bluntness being so overwhelming for that girl to handle.

“Then, Giant Senpai,”

Udai turned, meeting Sasaki Tsubasa’s gaze.

“Thank you for that, but I’d rather not have this.”

He tried to politely refuse, but Tsubasa was having none of it.

“You would be a terrible Senpai if you turned her down, Giant Senpai.”

“I don’t go well with—”

“You know how much she admires you and your team.”

Udai sighed, “Look—”

“Are you really down to be seen as a bad senpai? That’s gonna be so harsh of you to turn her effort down, you know.”

Udai frowned. Why isn’t she listening?

He tried for another attempt to explain himself. Opening his mouth, he was about to say something appropriate to make these girls understand that he just won’t go well with such gifts, especially cookies. But the girl beside Sasaki Tsubasa spoke.

“That’s enough, Sasaki. It’s alright…”

Udai shifted to the glasses-girl instead of the brown-haired Sasaki.

“Why, though? You’ve spent quite some time making the cookies.”

Udai’s gaze shifted to the cookies.

“And because of the effort you pour to make this specially for him, we should try harder to make him accept this. You’ve worked hard for this, right?”

“B-but…”

“Suzuki wa, you’re the best baker. You should be more proud of your hard work instead of being a wimp.”

Sasaki Tsubasa sighed.

“Leave this one to me.”

Udai felt cornered. He felt really bad for ever wanting to refuse the gift, being slapped with everything that Sasaki Tsubasa said.

Of all the things… why does this have to end up being an unnecessary drama?

“Senpai, you know—”

Sasaki Tsubasa playfully threatened him with dire consequences if he turned down the gift, and urged him to show some kindness and support.

He took a deep breath and decided to compromise.

“I’ll take it.”

He agreed to eat the cookies, but he made it clear that he would do it on his own terms.

“T-thank you so much, Giant Senpai!”

Yeah. That giant calling is just a troublesome one.

He hummed, and was convinced to finally excuse himself or at least that they are excusing themselves now.

Tsubasa, however, had other plans. She insisted that he should eat the cookies there and then, in front of her friend. She argued that it was the proper way to receive a gift, and that it would make the girl happy.

“She warned him, her eyes flaring with a possessive light. “If you don’t eat those cookies, you will regret it. I promise you will,”

“Sasaki—”

“H-hey, that’s—” he halted midway.

“This is probably our last chance to talk with you in person, Giant-san.”

Udai could see the determination in her eyes and knew that he couldn’t refuse her.

Just a little more push and he was done for.

“Just a bite won’t hurt, right?”

Udai sighed, finally relenting.

“Fine.”

The glasses-girl, and of course Sasaki Tsubasa, both lightened up when Udai took one of the cookies from the box. It was a small, round, chocolate chip cookie, with a crumbly texture and a sweet aroma. He examined it for a moment, feeling slightly uncomfortable under the gaze of those two presence before him. He wondered if he should say something, or if he should just start eating it.

In the end, he decided to opt for the latter. He raised the cookie to his mouth and took a small bite.

As he ate, Tsubasa watched him like a hawk, making sure he ate every last bite.

The taste however, was surprisingly good. The chocolate chips were rich and creamy, and the cookie had a subtle sweetness that was very pleasant. He took another bite, and then another, feeling the anxiety and the pressure slowly dissipate.

“How’s that?”

Udai almost choked, feeling embarrassed that he almost forgot that he was being watched. He coughed, feeling there was a certain portion of the cookies that wasn’t chewed properly stuck somewhere in his chest. He coughed, trying to be cool about it so as not to look stupid while distractedly peering at the two girls who were looking at him expectantly.

Clearing his throat, he trying to sound nonchalant about it when he look at the glasses-girl. “It’s good.”

He saw something flushed in her eyes as the redness dusting on her cheeks, face brightened than before, as if life wasn’t there before.

“Thank god!”

Udai hummed nonchalantly. His fingers resting on the box full of cookies, tempted to take another bite.

“See?”

Udai shifted, returned to Sasaki Tsubasa.

“Wasn’t that good?”

To his surprise… she was smiling triumphantly.

“I promised you that you’ll regret not eating those cookies right away, didn’t I?”

He…

Sasaki Tsubasa’s friend, the glasses-girl, looked positively ecstatic, her eyes gleaming with happiness. “I’m so glad you liked them!” she said.

She was smiling triumphantly.

Udai smiled, trying to be polite. “Y-yeah, they were really good. Thank you for making them for me.”

Sasaki Tsubasa smiled at him, nodding approvingly. “See? Just a little bite won’t hurt, right?”

No, he guess.

Finally, they excused themselves, bowing politely.

As they walked away, Udai couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief wash over him. He had survived the whole ordeal and had come out the other side unscathed.

Still, though, he could hear them muttering something like, “Suzuki, you finally gave him the cookies! That one’s to be celebrated!”

“I was able to give it to him because of you. The Little Giant is scary.”

“Hm? He is?”

“Not that he had some kind of scary face or something, though.”

“Though?”

“I mean, just everything about him is scary.”

Sasaki Tsubasa turned and Udai was still there to meet her gaze, just very briefly.

“Indeed.” She muttered to her friend, “But he’s not that little.”

There was something else there too, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

Tokyo, Present Day

Udai stared out of the window as Akaashi spoke, his mind wandering into the past, staying quite a while right there to recall past events that slipped past his fingers. Nine years ago, that was a lot.

He knew he shouldn’t be daydreaming, especially not when Akaashi, his editor, was discussing a serious issue about the next volume of his manga. But he just couldn’t help it.

Akaashi sighed, interrupting Udai’s thoughts. “Udai Sensei? Are you even listening to me?”

Udai blinked, suddenly brought back to reality. “Oh— ah, Akaashi-san? I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

Akaashi’s expression softened, and he sighed. “I said that there’s a serious matter with your manga that we need to discuss.”

Udai felt a sense of dread fill his stomach.

Mr. Task-focus Akaashi didn’t take his work lightly, and any criticism or suggestion for improvement was always met with a stern reality check.

He braced himself for what was to come as Akaashi launched into a tirade of criticism. But as he spoke, Udai struggled to focus. His mind kept drifting back to his own world, to where the leaking of his past was flashing.

He caught the occasional word, "plot holes," "character development," "story pacing," but it all seemed like a distant blur. He nodded and muttered responses when necessary, but all the while his mind was elsewhere.

“We have a deadline to meet, and you’re here daydreaming. You need to focus, Udai-san.”

Udai felt a twinge of guilt deep in his chest. He knew Akaashi was right. They had a lot of work to do, and he couldn’t afford to be distracted like this. “I’m sorry, Akaashi-san.“

Akaashi sighed then nodded. “Good—”

His phone rang. “A minute.”

Akaashi was about to get up but halted midway, “While I’m gone, I want you to finish up those panels we discussed earlier. I need them done by tomorrow, no excuses.”

Udai felt a pit begin to form in his stomach. He knew those panels were going to take a lot of work, and he wasn’t sure if he had the energy to do them all overnight. “Can’t you give me a little more time? Tomorrow’s a bit too much, Akaashi-san~”

Akaashi fixed him with a stern gaze. “No can do, Udai-san. We can’t afford to miss our deadline.”

Udai groaned inwardly, knowing there was no way out of this. He was going to have to pull an all-nighter, again. He watched as Akaashi left the room, his mind racing with all the things he still needed to do.

He opened up his computer, the screen of which was filled with the unfinished panels. The characters were only halfway drawn, their expressions and movements stiff and lifeless. He knew he had a lot of work to do if he wanted to make them come alive.

He worked tirelessly for hours, the only sounds in the room being the scratching of his pencil on paper and the occasional beep of his laptop. He didn’t have time for breaks, for food, or even for sleep. He was determined to finish these panels, no matter what it took.

Hours passed, and the clock on his laptop showed that it was already early in the morning. His eyes burned with exhaustion, his body aching from sitting at the desk for so long. But he couldn’t stop. He had to finish these panels.

He could feel his fingers began to shake with exhaustion, his mind becoming more and more foggy as he continued to work. But he couldn’t give up. He had to keep going.

As dawn started to break through the window, Udai finally finished the last panel. He slumped back in his chair, his breath coming in short gasps. He had done it. He had finished them all.

He sat there for a few minutes, his eyes closed, trying to recover from the long night he had just endured. But he knew he couldn’t rest for long. Mr. Task-focus would be calling soon, asking for an update on his progress.

Sure enough, his phone rang, interrupting his moment of peace. He groaned, knowing he had to answer it. “Moshi moshi. Good day today, Akaashi-san.” his voice groggy and tired.

———————————————————————————

Akaashi’s voice was tense as he spoke. “Good morning, Udai-san. How’s it going? Did you finish the panels?”

———————————————————————————

Udai nodded, even though Akaashi couldn’t see him. “Yeah, I finished them all. They’re all done.”

———————————————————————————

Akaashi sounded nonchalant. “Congratulation on successfully doing an overnight, Udai-san.”

———————————————————————————

Udai laughed bitterly over those words, and ended it with a long sigh.

As he hung up the phone, he looked out the window again, it was still early in the morning. He couldn't help but think about the way his manga would be received by readers, wondering if they would appreciate all the hard work that went into it.

His eyes trailed what’s on the last page. The blank page is now alive with lines and words in panels.

The world was still too quiet, only the ticking of clock was in the room, but to Udai, those panels on the last page were speaking to him, thanking him for hanging there for another good work this time.

Good job hanging right there to birth us alive, they said.

Udai smiled, feeling a sense of pride washing over him. Nothing felt better than knowing he had completed his task, and he had done it well.

He knew it didn’t matter, though. He had done his best, and that was all that really mattered. He closed his eyes, feeling a sense of calm wash over him.

When the sun finally rose, casting its golden light through the window, Udai once again looked at the last page with a sense of satisfaction.

He remembered why he had started drawing in the first place, why he had felt that spark of creativity that had led him on this wild and difficult journey.

********************************************************

It was on the 10th volume that Udai started to go undercover and do a little field research about public reaction to his manga, eager to witness it first hand to gain some new motivation if he ever stuck.

A month later, after the publishing of the 24th volume of Zomb’ish, Udai decided it was time for him to conduct a little field research.

Dressed incognito in a faded hoodie and a worn-out beanie that partially obscured his thin-framed glasses, Udai stepped into the first bookstore on his undercover journey. It was a bustling place, with high schoolers perched in every corner, their animated conversations weaving through the air like playful spirits.

This sight brought back a flood of memories for Udai, reminding him of his own rebellious days when he used to cut class just to read manga without buying it.

He meandered among the bookshelves, like a shadow drifting in the twilight. The colorful spines of various mangas lined the shelves, each one beckoning him like a siren’s whisper.

His heart swelled with pride as he caught sight of his own masterpiece nestled cozily amongst the crowd. It felt surreal to witness his creation in the hands of others, to see their eyes devouring each page with an insatiable hunger.

Udai decided to strike up a casual conversation with a group of high schoolers huddled near the manga section. Their excitement was palpable, their discussions echoing in animated pitches.

Engaging them was like stepping into a time capsule and being transported back to his youth. Their camaraderie, their passion, and their unwavering loyalty to the world of manga sparked an ember of inspiration within Udai's soul.

The group of high schoolers laughed and exchanged manga recommendations as Udai listened intently, their words carrying a certain melody that resonated deeply within him. Their glowing faces as they spoke about their favorite characters and thrilling plot twists made Udai realize the true impact his manga had on their lives. It has always been awe-inspiring to witness the magic weaved within the pages of Zombie Knight Zomb'ish transform into tangible emotions and connections.

As the conversations grew louder and more enthusiastic, Udai caught whispers of his work amongst their discussions. The realization hit him like a tsunami of gratitude, washing away any lingering doubts. It was, once again, an affirmation that his art had found a place in the hearts of these young souls, as it had done with him so many years ago.

He was so lost in thought, wandering through the bookstore’s shelves, that he didn’t notice the group of high schoolers clustered together until too late. He collided with one of them, causing that one girl to stumble backwards and her books to scatter across the floor. Udai quickly bent down to help her, and amidst the chaos, he noticed a small keychain dangling from her bag in the shape of a volleyball.

The sight of it stirred something within him, transporting him back to his own high school days.

He remembered the countless hours spent on the court, the sound of the ball smacking against his palms, the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. A flood of emotions washed over Udai, the memories mingling with his present circumstances, making him feel both young and old all at once.

“Are you okay?” he asked, handing some of her books back to her.

The girl nodded shyly, her eyes lingering on his beanie-covered head. Udai could feel her gaze on him, his incognito disguise seemingly fooling no one. He offered her a comic from his pile, and as she reached out to take it, he noticed the keychain again.

For a moment, Udai wished he could go back in time, to relive those days of infinite freedom and limitless potential, to play volleyball and to just go back to where reading manga was ten times better than being in class. But then he realized that he didn’t need to go back; those memories and those joys were still with him, embedded in his soul, reminding him of the power of storytelling and the import of connection.

Udai’s nostalgia was interrupted by the excited chatter of the other high schoolers nearby, talking about the new volume of Zombie Knight Zomb'ish. Their enthusiastic conversation pulled him back into the present, reminding him why he was here in the first place. He gathered himself and focused on observing the reactions of the group.

He watched as they leafed through the pages, their eyes widening with each new twist and turn. The sound of their laughter and exclamations filled the air, banishing any lingering doubts from Udai’s mind. He had created something that touched the hearts of his readers, something that he could be truly proud of.

Udai continued his little incognito field research at the bookstore, his eyes scanning eagerly through the shelves, a special display of his very own Zombie Knight Zomb’ish. As he picked up a copy, he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulled it out to see a call from Akaashi.

“Moshi moshi, Akaashi-san,” Udai answered, his fingers lingering on the cover of his latest volume.

———————————————————————————

“Udai-san, good afternoon. I was just checking in on the rough sketching progress. How’s it going?”

———————————————————————————

“Ah, that? It’s coming along well.” He smiled, scanning through the red cover of the copy he had in his hand.

———————————————————————————

“That’s great to hear,” Akaashi replied. “where are you? It sounds pretty noisy.”

———————————————————————————

He grinned, “Oh? I’m elated to have you unexpectedly care about another thing than about work. Where do you think I am right now? Give it a try, Akaashi-san.”

———————————————————————————

“No. Thank you. Probably just another day of slacking off and procrastinating the deadline it is.”

———————————————————————————

“What do you mean slacking off and procrastinating? Didn’t I tell you? This is research.”

———————————————————————————

“Better be some research, Udai Sensei.”

———————————————————————————

“Akaashi yo, didn’t we agree that I’ll be teaching you another lesson everytime you underestimate me about things like this?”

Udai glanced around him, noticing a group of high schoolers approaching the display shelf where his manga being displayed.

Udai promised to send the sketches and hung up the phone, watching as the high schoolers swarmed the manga display. He felt a sense of pride and joy, seeing his work in such high demand. But at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel like an outsider, removed from the throng of young readers who had embraced his creation.

He wondered what it would be like to be one of the high schoolers once more, to spend all afternoon immersed in the world of manga, bonding with friends over the latest releases.

He quickly judged that it would be better to excuse himself and not expose his identity.

Udai tucked the manga back onto the shelf and made his way to the exit, determined to complete his undercover research before the day was over.

By the time Udai returned home, the sun had already surrendered to the twilight sky, casting a purplish hue across his apartment. He took off his beanie and let his tousled hair fall freely. Thoughts and emotions surged within him, ready to be immortalized in the form of ink and paper.

The drawing swept Udai away, transporting him to a realm where the line between reality and fantasy blurred into kaleidoscopic hues. It was a dance of prose and scratches, a symphony of emotions told through the tale of a young hero fighting against an army of undead. Udai poured his heart into every word, weaving a tapestry that would resonate with the souls of his readers, just as he connected with his own youthful spirit that fateful day.

********************************************************

Udai sat at his desk, phone pressed to his ear as he discussed the plot of the next volume of his manga, Zombie Knight Zomb’ish. His mind raced with ideas and possibilities, his creative vision already taking shape in his mind’s eye.

“Akaashi-san, listen…”

———————————————————————————

“What is it, Udai-san?”

———————————————————————————

“I’ve got some major plot twists that I think we can work with. What if the zombies aren’t the only villains in the story? What if there’s a human organization behind the outbreak?”

———————————————————————————

Akaashi’s voice crackled over the line. “That’s brilliant, Udai-san. It adds a whole new layer of complexity to the story and raises the stakes for the characters.”

———————————————————————————

Udai felt a thrill of excitement coursing through him, the validation of his editor and friend lending him a sense of confidence and inspiration. “Right? Right?”

———————————————————————————

“But how can we link this new twist to what’s already been established in the story?” Akaashi asked.

———————————————————————————

Udai thought for a moment, the gears of his mind turning.

“What do you think if one of the characters is secretly working for the organization that’s behind the outbreak? It would add a layer of betrayal and conflict that we can use to fuel the story.”

———————————————————————————

“Well, yes, that’ll do, I guess.”

———————————————————————————

“Geh!” He grumbled, “Can you be more enthusiastic, Akaashi-san? I am working very hard right here.”

———————————————————————————

“Congratulations on working very hard for your manga, Udai-san.”

———————————————————————————

“Geh.”

As he and Akaashi continued to brainstorm, Udai’s mind wandered back to his time spent observing the public’s reaction to the release of his manga’s new volume. He remembered the faces of the readers, the way they laughed, cried, and cheered as they devoured the pages.

He felt a sense of pride and gratitude, knowing that his work had touched their hearts in profound and meaningful ways. But he also knew that success was not guaranteed, that the creative journey was fraught with obstacles and challenges.

********************************************************

Udai rubbed his bleary eyes, staring at the rough sketches he’d drawn the night before. He had spent another restless night, his mind consumed with the plot of the next volume of Zombie Knight Zomb’ish, his pencil scratching frantically against the blank pages of his sketchpad.

He couldn’t help feeling a sense of frustration and desperation, knowing that his work was still not where he wanted it to be. He traced the lines of his drawings, seeking some kind of inspiration or insight that would help him unlock the creative puzzle that had been eluding him for so long.

With a sigh, Udai got up from his desk and left his apartment, heading straight for the convenience store in his neighborhood. The sun was just beginning to rise, casting a soft glow over the streets as Udai made his way through the quiet morning stillness.

As he entered the store, he reached for an instant breakfast, his mind still consumed by thoughts of his work. He paid for his purchase and sat down at a small table, sipping his coffee and staring out the window at the passing cars and the city as it stirred to life.

But even as he ate, Udai couldn’t shake the restless feeling that consumed him. He knew that he had to find some way to break through the creative blockage that was preventing him from realizing his vision for his work.

Udai left the convenience store and headed back to his apartment. He sifted through his laundry, looking for a fresh shirt to wear, but his eyes were drawn to the ocha-stained shirt that he’d worn on the day he’d accidentally bumped into Sasaki Tsubasa for the second time.

As he stared at the shirt, memories of that day flooded back to him. He thought of Tsubasa’s smile, the way she had looked at him warmly.

Then Udai was immersed a little further into everything that happened that day. One thing that made him reluctant to leave his reverie was about Tsubasa surprisingly being one of his manga readers. Well... even though it wasn’t supposed to be that surprising. The bottom line was what her co-worker, Hatakeyama Jiro, had said about Tsubasa’s interest in his manga.

Udai still remembered everything:

“You know, Udai-san, this kid sometimes steals time to read manga in between her work breaks. She has a stock of manga in her desk drawer to read every break.”

“Oh, come on!”

“I don’t know about the details, but, clearly it’s something about Zombies…”

“This is your last warning, Hatakeyama.”

“Hora, something recommended to me, Sasaki.”

“What?”

“That manga you recommended— was it called Zombie Knight or something else?”

Tsubasa sighed, her eyes glancing at Udai before she said, “You know, we should talk about your timing next time, Hatakeyama.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Hatakeyama-kun, let me introduce you once again to Udai Tenma-san; the creator of Zombie Knight Zomb’ish manga that you were talking about.”

There was silence after Tsubasa introduced Udai to Hatakeyama Jiro once again.

Udai glanced at Tsubasa before he returned to Hatakeyama Jiro, deciding to lower his hand again after raising it awkwardly to greet Hatakeyama Jiro. Waving was certainly not a good choice. His laughter was thin and awkward, almost insincere.

“Ah! So, Udai-san is the mangaka of Zombie Knight?”

“Well…”

“And what?” Tsubasa replied, “After this you’re still going to say that manga is only for kids?”

“Hey, come on! That one’s because you’re childish.”

“Ha!? Don’t make so many nonsensical excuses for your insulting claim!”

“Exactly.”

Hatakeyama Jiro turned to Udai, “Speaking of manga, it’s an honor to know that you’re the very author of Zombie Knight, Udai-san,”

“A-ah... thank you.” Udai said awkwardly.

Hatakeyama Jiro turned back to Tsubasa, “That’s why you’ve been reading Zombie Knight so diligently, apparently.”

“This kid,” Hatakeyama Jiro’s hand pointed at Tsubasa as he turned to the stunned Udai, “she really likes your manga.”

The world stopped.

“Not only that she kept it in her drawer, one day, she wouldn’t stop talking about your manga and gave everyone the hassle of having to listen to everything she said. Not to mention how every week she would go to the bookstore just to buy the latest edition— ah, last time you, remember? She also got the latest series of your manga to bring to the office.”

“H-hey! What’s so wrong with that? I have taste, you know! Besides, the story is that good!”

That’s right. About Tsubasa liking his manga is something that should be normal. However, it was different because it was Tsubasa. He had no problem with anyone—anyone, even perhaps his former Japanese Literature teacher was one out of the million of his readers—but it was a different story if it was her.

Because it was her, everything that was normal in his sense, became unusual.

For one thing, though, his hope has been broken because the heart he once put a scar on has found a healer. The door that he had left open that time, had found someone who politely entered in and locked it tightly. And here, Udai was just an uninvited guest of the story, a merely side character of Hatakeyama Jiro and Sasaki Tsubasa’s blossoming panel.

Udai felt a pang of jealousy, unsure of his own feelings and motivations.

He folded the shirt and placed it back into the hamper, his heart heavy with unanswered questions and unresolved emotions. He knew that he had work to do, that he had to focus on his art and pour himself into his creative vision.

But even as he re-immersed himself into his work, Udai couldn’t shake the memory of his last unexpected encounter with Tsubasa.

With a heavy sigh, Udai pushed those thoughts aside and threw himself back into his work.

—

6 notes · View notes