#my 11-years old self is very happy

[doukeshi-kun]

did kolya ever dispose the bodies of alex and julia? (i cant remember if that was their names hehe its been a while...)

because i've been wondering if he got caught and arrested or he just ran off too, OR he just murdered the rest of the officer's? AND HOW DARE HE KISS ANOTHER WOMAN ? was it basically just a plan to get closer to the reader at the end. i got so many questions (im still not healed 😐)

ah i just really love any discussion about stalker!nikolai bcs i really love to hear thoughts and opinions and theories from you guys 😆

well, to answer, julia was 'disposed', sort of. she was, after all, mutilated and stuffed into garbage bags and the rests of her body were thrown at the back gate of the haunted fair—near the forest. alex, well... after y/n and nikolai ran away from the police, alex's corpse was being left on the road but a few police did find him and surround his body as our main couple ran away and had their conflict somewhere.

whether kolya got caught or got bailed or ran off, that's totally up to interpretation. is this an excuse that i don't have storyline for that? no! bcs i do have the real answer on how nikolai is still 'free' even after all that incident and why he kissed the woman.

and below this :readmore:, i'm telling briefly on what actually happened (from the writer's perspective lmao). but again, i did intentionally leave the details bcs i like to have my readers interpret the scenes however they want

so, firstly, whether nikolai does possess The Overcoat in this au does not matter. in my mind, he was caught up by the polices and there are already several implications that he has connection with fyodor still (based from ivan's scene). he complied with the authority while also depending on fyodor (or anyone you want, really... or perhaps himself) to help him with the proofs and accusations. so, yes, he was caught up and complied to the authorities. i believe nikolai is not a man who kill unnecessarily (alex is necessary lmao and julia... well, he killed her bcs she made y/n's life horrible. so she got that chop chop). as i believed he is such a man, i can't really see him murdering all the polices... especially after his funfair was raided, alex's corpse was left on the road near the fair, etc. the most logical way to do this is to play smart. and besides, in BSD universe itself, the polices are kinda weak and like.... how many fucking murderers roaming the BSD world😭 pretty sure nikolai can tweak the law and system easily, especially considering he was a secretary for the ministry of justice years ago.

but! like i said, you can freely think however you want him to escape or be free. he killed the polices? sure! he escaped thru his portal? yeay! he just get caught and spent 3 months in jail? okay! — after all, you are the reader.

secondly, yes, he kissed maya (i was hurted too writing that goddamn) and fortunately he rejected her offer to have sex because he is THAT loyal. and well, while he made out with maya purely to manipulate the poor lady emotionally to get to the reader, but hey :) at least he kissed you back thousands times more desperate and hungrier and passionate.

#i love the trilogy #and i got a lot of nice comments on ao3 :D #everytime people say that my fic is like a published book or smth along the line #my 11-years old self is very happy #道化師-says❃ུ۪ #nikolai gogol x reader #nikolai x reader

[cherry-shipping]

yaaaaaaaayy yippieeee happy bday to my cool awesome little sibling they are so cute and so we all baked them an absolute dogshit cake. just completely fucked it up. they love it though so its cool ^_^

#doodle #my art #self ship #familial f/o #familial self ship #now you might be wondering. is this their 7th birthday? #if so‚ wouldnt that mean the events of undertale would have happened when they were literally 0 years old? #the answer is‚ dont worry about it #were all ageless aside from like vague notions like frisk is a child #mostly i headcanon frisk to be 8 throughout the events of undertale #and chara having died at 10‚ and asriel having died at 11 #but also...... toddler frisk is so fucking important to me #so uh. well its whatever i feel like basically ^__^ teehee #anyways. happy bday to my cool little sibling whose age is undetermined on all accounts except 'small' #btw this doesnt read very well cus its a still image (OBVIOUSLY) but frisk is doing that wavy jumpy thing like konata in rthat one gif #if u know u know <3

[cinnominbubble]

If you’ve been around for a while, you’ll know that this character, Feferi Peixes means a LOT to me. She was a character I latched onto when I was 11 years old, reading Homestuck for the very first time. She was my first cosplay, all the way back in February 2014 (ah, Quotev days), which introduced me to a community of Tumblr ask blog cosplayers- many of whom I still talk to and cheer on in their projects today! She’s why I go by Feffles online- borne from the experiences on a long dead roleplay website called Flarping.com that had just the kindest, most welcoming community. All that to say, to be able to actually cosplay Feferi Peixes in her unaltered state for the very first time, almost ten years after the first time I tried is a very very big moment for me.

Typically, I would post a Homestuck project or makeup look in honour of 4/13. I still did a makeup look (and you can find that on my TikTok: cinnominbubble), but with it being 15 years of Homestuck, 13 years of my own personal connection to the story, and 10 years since I first tried my hand at cosplaying this character for the very first time, it felt far more fitting to post my gill herself.

I cannot wait to be able to build onto this cosplay, making more iterations like her dream self, and Beforus iteration, and Godtier, and watch as my own cosplay growth comes in the next ten years.

Happy 4/13, happy birthday to John Egbert and Jane Crocker, and to you, my friends, thanks for playing. 💗

(Song credit: @phemiec!!!)

#thank queue for playing #homestuck #Fishmam Is Out Of Water #fishy speaks #My post #feferi peixes #Fishmam Feferi #Fishy Cosplays #My face #Homestuck Cosplay #Feferi Peixes Cosplay #Cosplay

[bixbiboom]

So. Life update.

Today (technically yesterday now) was the first day of my final year of my fourth decade. Happy birthday to me.

I take my duties (even self-assigned ones) way, way too seriously, and running this blog was killing me. Literally. I was given doctor’s orders to cut back on social media (actually she wanted me to cut out social media, but we compromised), and a very beloved friend actually paid me to take the month off. So I did. I turned off all my social media notifications, unfollowed a lot of ppl, muted a bunch of servers, and told my source suppliers I was going on hiatus.

Since the beginning of May, my daily average time actually using my phone has gone from over 17 hours to just seven hours, my blood pressure has gone from the 150s/90s range to the 130s/70s range, and I’ve stopped having nightly nightmares and daily coughing fits. I’m also walking 19% more than I did last month, and every doc appt shows I’ve lost more weight since the last one. I’ve also started writing again for the first time in months, and I’ve churned out over 10k words this month.

So I’m cutting way, way back on the CR content. Still a critter, still watching every week, ask box is still open for chatting, you can tag me in on questions if you want. I’m still actively participating in the fandom and keeping up with the goings-on. But I’m not referring to myself as a source blog anymore. Back to a mixed bag of whatever grabs my fancy, like a normal human person, while I try to become one of those again.

In other news, I’m getting a new kitten at the end of next month! A friend rescued a pregnant cat and I’ll be taking one of the litter when they’re old enough to leave their mama.

I don’t know which one I’ll be picking yet (I haven’t actually met them in person, mama’s a nervous kitty and still settling in to her new home and I don’t want to stress her out by showing up out of nowhere and handling her babies), but odds are good it’ll be one of the torties.

If anyone is so inclined, I’ve got »an Amazon wish list« for supplies for both the new kitten and a few things for my older cats, and »my ko-fi jar« is always around. (Also I’m down for suggestions for things the list is missing; my youngest cat is 11 years old, I’ve been out of the kitten game for a while.)

Love you guys, see you on Thursday!

#blogkeeping

[neil-gaiman]

TW: Self-harm, slight mention of suicide, eating disorder, sexual stuff, drugs, etc.

I don't know how to start this, so I'll just write it down (I put a TW, in case you reblog it).

In 2019 just a few days before Good Omens premiered on Prime Video, I started self-harming, I was about 10/11 years old, I started doing it because of problems with my identity, problem with my family and the bullying I received.

I started watching the show and I must admit that from there I started to be your fan, I was not good at searching for information so I just read Coraline and watched GO.

In 2020 I had one of the worst moments of my life, I was 12, I started having problems with food, my weight and appearance, and I hadn't accepted that I was trans yet.

Everything that had happened last year came back stronger, I found even more series that I liked and finally I could read Good Omens in physical (i mean, physical book).

In 2021 was literally the worst year, I was raped by a teacher at 12 (in December, about 17 days before my birthday), a few days after I turned 13, I started getting high, sexualized to get male affection from men much older than me, and my eating disorder and self-harm were much stronger.

The only thing that calmed me down from all that situation for at least a while were your books, movies and series.

Then, in 2022, my vids improved a little, I got off drugs and bulimia, self-harm was getting regulated, and at the end of the year I stopped self-harming, I also stopped caring what people said and started to enter the English community of my favorite fandoms (I learned more English with that, than with my private lessons lol).

And today, in 2023, at the age of 14, I'm happy to be your fan, I'm proud of your work, and very excited for the second season.

Thank you for saving my life, I love you. (I'm not afraid to admit that you saved my life from committing suicide 6 times).

I’m so glad you are here. Well done!!

[whatyadrawin]

The Fruit After The Flesh -MASTERLIST!-

Thomas Hewitt x AFAB reader

18+ Only, Minors DNI

See reference images for layout here

Summary: You are a 33 year old seamstress living in Rivers, Manitoba struggling to make ends meet and in threat of losing everything until you get a call from a lawyer who informs you of a distant relatives will. Now you own an orchard and have money in the bank on one condition, keep the orchard feeding the people in Fuller, Texas. You meet the Hewitt's and finally feel a sense of belonging in this cruel world, the family is special but one person in particular is stealing your heart... Thomas. Follow the story as you experience everything the farm life has to offer, the romance, the hardships, and the sins.

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 14

Thank you all for reading my silly little self indulgent fic, many of you are likely big fans of Thomas and his family, I hope you all get that same feeling of family and loyalty when reading this. I appreciate the patience you all have in waiting for chapters to come out, they may take me a while due to the art but I am happy to have a very fulfilling hobby as I continue through my journey of education in pursuit of my career. Don't be scared to drop a message and let me know what you think!

#what ya writin #slasher community #thomas hewitt x y/n #thomas hewitt #thomas hewitt x afab reader #the fruit after the flesh #fanfiction #headcannons #slashers

[bunnywrites1414]

Happy Kink-tober ~~

This years kinktober is 100% compiled of self inserts because I am a spoiled brat and this is my account :)))

I am not sorry for any of these

As always pls read the tags for EVERY SINGLE fic before you read. Don’t accidentally trigger yourself.

Day 1: Steve Harrington

Teasing- Your friends cannot take a hint and Steve doesn't seem to care

Day 2: Suna Rinatarou

Thigh Riding- What kind of jerk invites someone over and then sits on a computer game for 2 hours? Suna, that's who.

Day 3: Shota Aizawa

Oral Fixation- Y/N gets bratty without something in her mouth and Aizawa is tired of hearing her.

Day 4: Jax Teller

Daddy Kink- Y/N knows what that word does to Prince Teller, she just doesn't care

Day 5: Eddie Munson

Corruption- She is the cutest thing he's ever seen and he cannot wait to ruin her.

Day 6: Spencer Reid

Sadomasochism- Angry Dom!Spencer = Unfair punishments

Day 7: Hitoshi Shinsou

Mind control- Hitoshi's quirk is fun, when he can convince his partners to let him do it

Day 8: Johnathan Byers

Brat Taming- Johnathan is a pushover. His submissive is well aware of that. However it takes more than a pout to sway his friend Eddie

Day 9: Izuku Midoriya

Forced Orgasms- Y/N tastes like heaven and Izuku can't control himself

Day 10: Ushijima Wakatoshi

Size Kink- Ushiwaka is a big 'ol boy

Day 11: Sam Winchester

Angry Sex- Sam hates Y/N. Y/N hates Sam. Dean and Bobby think it's hilarious.

Day 12: Billy Hargrove

Costumes- Billy didn't even know Y/N was coming to this party, but he knows they're matching costumes and that her ass looks perfect in those shorts.

Day 13: Taishiro Toyomitsu (Fat Gum) ft. Kirishima

Teaching- Kirishima has some questions for his mentor and Fatgum is happy to help.

Day 14: Katsuki Bakugo

Phone Sex- Katsuki's away on a mission and Y/N can't cum without him

Day 15: Eddie Munson

Throat Training-Eddie is really good with his mouth, Y/N wants to make him feel just as good as he makes her feel, but it takes a little work.

Day 16: Kotaro Bokuto ft. Kuroo

Group Sex- Kuroo's little girlfriend is really cute and he knows it. Bokuto is a connoisseur of cute things, and Kuroo's not so bad.

Day 17: Eijiro Kirishima

Pain Play- Kirishima is a people pleaser and Y/N likes a little pain with her pleasure

Day 18: Jax Teller

Dumbification- Even 'big hot shot Scientists' need a few moments to be a little brainless.

Day 19: Amren

Blood- Amren has never had blood wraith

Day 20: Arron Hotchner ft. Spencer Reid

Pet Play- Arron forgets to mention he's bringing home a friend, and Y/N is deep in pet space when they get there

Day 21: Cassian

Primal Play - Cassian’s an animal.

Day 22: Steve Harrington ft. Eddie Munson

Degradation and Praise- Steve and Eddie balance each other very well, or at least Y/N thinks so

Day 23: Azriel Shadowsinger

Edging- 'If you hold it I'll reward you'. Y/N likes rewards.

Day 24: Spencer Reid

Bondage- Reid wants to practice his knots

Day 25: Dean Winchester

Overstimulation- Dean is cocky and Y/N thinks it's funny to push his buttons.

Day 26: Eddie Munson

Dacryphilia- Eddie teaches Y/N a thing or two about discipline and can't help but notice how pretty she looks when she's crying.

Day 27: Shota Aizawa

DILF- Aizawa knows he's old enough to be her dad, but his Nanny is perfect

Day 28: Tetsuro Kuroo

Psuedocest- He knows he shouldn't but she sounds so desperate. What kind of brother would he be if he just let his little sister suffer?

Day 29: Spencer Reid

CNC- Y/N is stuck. Like really really stuck. Her neighbor Reid agrees to help under one condition.

Day 30: Keiji Akaashi

Mutual Masturbation- Akaashi is a visual learner, but Y/N thinks he just likes to see her embarassed

Day 31: Jax Teller

Rough Sex- Jax likes to fuck after he fights, and his choice of ass has a hard time saying no to that smile.

#bunnywrites🐰 #kinktober 2023 #sons of anarchy #jax teller smut #haikyuu #akaashi smut #criminal minds #spencer reid smut #arron hotchner smut #kuroo smut #aizawa smut #stranger things #eddie munson smut #steddie x reader #steve harrington smut #nancy wheeler smut #Johnathan byers smut #billy hargove smut #supernatural smut #dean winchester smut #sam whinchester smut #atsumu smut #hanta sero smut #kirishima smut #bokuto smut #Bakugo smut #ushijima smut #Suna Smut #shinsou smut

[tessenpai]

Kono Oto Tomare! Chapter 132 Scans and Rough TL

Disclaimer: Please DO NOT use this translation to make your own TL of the chapter!! The KOT TL group works very hard to give you the most accurate translation, that does as much justice to the original script as possible. This is a ROUGH translation. That means is faulty and there must be mistakes in certain places. This is just for impatient people like myself to get a grasp on what is going on in the chapter! You can REFERENCE my TL if you want to discuss the chapter but never USE it as it was your own.

Scans: Kono Oto Tomare! - Raw Chapter 132 - KL (klz9.com)

Page 1

Imari [memory]: Of course we are frustrated!!!

Imari [memory]: Everybody's holding in some emotion or another!! Have you ever thought about that!?

Side text: The words no one had said to Miran, until now.

Chapter Title: #132 A story: Ours.

Imari [memory]: What you are lacking, is imagination!

Miran [thoughts]: Wha-

Page 2

Miran [internal breakdown]: I made her cry. I hurt her. I did it. What do I do? I haven't gotten a single solo, have I!!? Do you think we don't feel anything about that! You haven't realized that, have you!? What do I do? I made her cry. I hurt her. I hurt her. What do I do? I did it. A performance is not something you do alone. Of course we are frustrated! I made her cry. I hurt her. I made her cry. I hurt her. It's imagination!

Miran[sfx]: Ba-dump.

Page 3

Miran[sfx]: Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump.

Miran's mom [memory]: Hurting others to get what you want is a cowardly and awful thing to do.

Miran's mom [memory]: Never do this again. Never!

Miran [thoughts]: Again, I... I-

Imari: hic

Miran: Ah

Page 4

Imari [sfx]: hic

Imari [memory]: Are you this self-centered?

Miran: ...

Luka: !

Page 5

Miran [sfx]: Wipe, wipe.

Imari: Wha-

Imari: Whaaaaaaaaaat----??

Miran [sfx]: Wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe.

Imari: Wai- That's enough, already. Your necktie is gonna get dirty--

Page 6

Imari: ----

Imari: I'm going to wipe my face, give me a minute.

Miran: Ah, wai...

Tougo: I'll go after Imari. You should cool your head a bit too, Miran.

Page 7

Kio: The person who knows Imari-san the best is probably Tougo-kun. It should be fine.

Kio: Those two are childhood friends, apparently.

Miran: ...

Luka: Hey, Miran. When those two come back...

Luka: Why don't we all take it easy and talk, just once?

Miran: ----....

Imari: ---So

Page 8

Imari: Why did you insist on doing this outside?

Luka: The weather is so nice, I just thought it would give us some sense of freedom.

Kio: We could've sat on that bench over there.

Luka: But this feels more informal, doesn't it?

Imari: Well, I don't really care. Whatever.

Luka: Fu

Luka: I've always thought that music is a way to communicate even if you don't understand the language or don't know another person.

Luka: I figured I didn't need to ask more than I had to about everyone else either. I don't like to pry, you see.

Page 9

Luka: ...But just now, Imari... She let us listen to the voice of her heart, even though she probably never meant for us to ever hear it.

Luka: And even though it was shocking, it made me really happy.

Luka: "Aaah, so that is what we are lacking!", it opened my eyes.

Luka: If you'd like, I would love to hear more about you.

Page 10

Imari: What do you even want me to tell you...

Luka: Anything is fine! Your upbringing, the things you like, the things you hate, even something you are not happy about. It doesn't matter as long as you feel comfortable talking about it.

Luka: If we got to know more about each other, I bet our performance would also change.

Imari: If you say that... Then you should go first about telling us about yourself.

Luka: ! I see! You are absolutely right!

Page 11

Luka: Well then. My parents adopted me when I was one year old, and then---

Imari: Waitwaitwait.

Imari: Eh? Wha-? Ehh!!? Is that something you feel comfortable sharing with us!?

Luka: What? Yeah, of course.

Luka: Meeting my adoptive parents is the luckiest and most joyful thing that ever happened to me.

Luka: It is my greatest pride.

Imari: The- Then it's fine, I guess...

Page 12

Luka: My parents are very big music lovers.

Luka: So ever since I was little I've been exposed to all kinds of music. Thanks to that, I met the koto.

Tougo: How exactly did you meet the koto?

Luka: What?

Tougo: I'm curious. What drove you to begin playing the koto? Did you listen to someone's performance, or something like that?

Luka: Oh... umm... It's nothing like tha...

Imari: What is it? Don't be coy now, say it!

Luka: You... you won't laugh?

Imari: What?

Luka: You gotta promise you absolutely won't laugh. Promise!!

Imari: I won't laugh, what is it!?

Page 13

Luka: Hmm...

Luka: When I heard the koto was an instrument resembling a dragon... I just thought "That's the coolest thing ever!!!!" and wanted to play it...

Kio: ...Eh? That's all..?

Luka: ...Yes...

Imari: Ahahahahahahahah!!!! Are you for real!? And here I was expecting some noble reason!!

Luka: You- you said you wouldn't laugh!! That's just how children get hooked on things!!

Imari: You are even studying abroad for it, so I'd say it worked alright.

Tougo: Did your parents ever oppose the idea of you studying abroad?

Page 14

Luka: They were super supportive.

Luka: It's just that when it was decided that I would be studying abroad my dad was diagnosed with an uncommon illness...

Imari: What?

Luka: Ah, he had surgery to treat it, so he's alright now!

Imari: Dude, you've been bad for my heart ever since you started talking!!

Luka: Sorry.

Luka: In any case, with my father's condition, I decided not to study abroad and stay in my hometown. And they fervently opposed to that.

Luka: I wanted to be by my father's side... But then he said, "I refuse to be the reason my child is dragged down!"... He just wouldn't hear it. I got into a huge fight with my parents for the first time.

Page 15

Luka: We worried a lot. We talked it through, a lot. Both of them consider my future to be the most important thing. And so, here I am today.

Tougo: You have great parents.

Luka: Right!?

Tougo: Are they coming to listen to us at Nationals?

Luka: Yeah. It will depend on how my father feels then, but that's the plan.

Luka: ...I would love to give them a great performance.

Page 16

Miran [memory]: It's because you are here! It's your fault!

Imari: What about you, Kio? You are just as much of a mystery to me as Luka.

Kio: Me?

Kio: I'm just a normal guy. Your average "Failure" born into a prestigious family.

Imari: Failure?

Kio: I hate it when people tell me what to do. The more someone tells me to do something, the more I want to do the opposite.

Imari: You are such a pain in the ass...

Kio: Haha Isn't that the truth?

Page 17

Kio: My relationship with my house is terrible because of that.

Kio: …It's the kind of house where your path is already decided even before you're born, and where you grow surrounded by pride and traditions.

Kio: And so, I rebelled against my house. I was pretty naughty at times. I was almost excommunicated on several occasions.

Imari: What in the world did you do?

Kio: Do you want me to tell you?

Imari: On second thought, no...

Luka: The way you speak is so polite that it's hard for me to picture you being naughty, Kio.

Kio: Ah--... I'm a bit of a jerk when I speak plainly.

Luka: I see!

Luka: But if it's like that, why did you decide to still inherit your house and take over it?

Page 18

Kio: Ahhh. Because I thought I would be able to destroy the "Akane Group" once and for all. Clap

Imari/Luka: What...???

Kio: Please, do not share what I just said with anyone.

Kio: I have not been officially appointed as the next heir yet. I will get debarred for real this time if they find out.

Imari: I didn't sign up to hear such a terrifying story!

Luka: When you say destroy, do you mean to dismantle it?

Kio: Hmmm... If it comes down to that, I may do it.

Kio: When I say I want to destroy it, I mean "The way things are done in the Group".

Page 19

Kio: For my parents, everything should be inside a pattern. That's the way they were taught, and that is the way they teach.

Kio: New ways are absolutely forbidden.

Kio: They believe that's what "Preserving and passing on tradition" means.

Kio: They are not mistaken in thinking that. If that's what the person who entrusted it to them wished, then that's how it should be.

Kio: However

Kio: If I were to entrust something precious to me to someone else.

Kio: I don't want that person to whom I entrust my work to be "just another entity who will pass it on to the next one."

Page 20

Kio: The life of that person.

Kio: Their thoughts and feelings.

Kio: I want them to pass on the proof of their lives.

Kio: That's how I want "Passing on tradition" to be.

Imari: What the heck? You have given this a lot of thought, haven't you?

Kio: Haha Did your opinion of me get a little better?

Page 21

Kio: Well, I may say all that but

Kio: After the entrance ceremony, when we introduced ourselves... When it was Miran-san's turn my sarcastic side came spitting out at her. I'm sorry.

Kio: "Got in through connections", I said?

Kio: That was very cruel.

Kio: I know that. I regret saying it.

Kio: Miran-san, you are completely free and unbound by anything.

Kio: I was envious of you.

Page 22

Tougo: Well, hearing your stories made me realize I'm the most normal out of all of us here.

Tougo: I was born into a normal family, and can't think of any remarkable thing to say about me---

Imari: No. What the heck are you even saying?

Imari: This dude over here!!! He is my stalker!!! Ever since we were children up till now!!!

??: Eh!!?

Imari: He lived in the house next door.

Imari: He's been following me around since we were three years old.

Imari: Whatever I did, he would follow my lead!!

Page 23

Imari: From beginning to play the koto, entering competitions, even applying to this school. He aaaalways follows me in what I do!!!!

Kio: We- well, it could be a coincidence...

Tougo: No, I'm following Imari. Because I love her.

Kio: You can't be serious...

Kio: I'm sorry, Tougo-kun, but I'm very creeped out right now

Tougo: That's fine, I don't care what anyone other than Imari thinks.

Imari: I was always creeped out!

Imari: It's not only that. The scariest part of this guy is that he had no musical sense to begin with! But because he wanted to be next to me, he practiced like an absolute idiot, won a prize at a competition, and got into Ichiei..! Isn't that freaking insane!?

Page 24

Luka: Tougo, I didn't know you were such a passionate man!! You must be head over heels for Imari!!

Imari: That is not what I said!!

Tougo: I am in love with you, though.

Imari: Shut. Up.

Kio: So you were that kind person, Tougo-kun... Why haven't we seen you act like this before?

Tougo: Because I promised Imari.

Imari's rules: Don't stick to me. Don't stare at me. Don't talk to me unless it's necessary.

Tougo: She said, follow the rules or die.

Kio: Woaaah...

Kio: We've been working together for a little over a year, so I thought I knew you reasonably well, but…

Kio: You really never know. People...

Luka: That is true! It's so interesting.

Page 25

Luka: I wish I had asked about you from the beginning. Such a pity I didn't.

Imari: What are you saying? It's not like I would talk about these things with a complete stranger.

Kio: Exactly. It is now that we can talk about them.

Luka: !

Luka: I see!

Luka: What about you, Imari? Your mom is a koto teacher, isn't she?

Imari: That's right.

Imari: Ah, but not from a prestigious family, like Kio's. Just a normal koto class teacher.

Imari: I've been playing the koto as far as I can remember. When I was five, I entered a small competition for the first time, and won it.

Imari: From then on, I started participating in prefectural and regional contests.

Page 26

Imari: Because of the amount of awards I was winning, they began to call me a prodigy child.

Tougo: She even appeared on TV.

Luka: Amazing!

Imari: But when I got to my third year of primary school, I entered a national competition for the first time

Imari: And there, I lost to Luka's beloved Hozuki Satowa.

Luka: !!

Imari: At the time, I felt like I was at the top of my game. I didn't bother to listen to Hozuki Satowa's performance, or the other kids' for that matter.

Imari's mom(?) [memory]: Imari, aren't you coming to the venue?

Imari[memory]: I'm not interested.

Announcer [memory]: Winner: Entry number 5. Hozuki Satowa.

Page 27

Imari: After that, I heard that she was to be the next head of a very famous koto school. "I'm sure her family used their power to win her the competition", I thought. I felt like an idiot for trying so hard, if things were like that. I started skip off in practice.

Imari: But after that, we both participated in another competition, and I got to hear her performance for the first time.

Imari: And then, I realized just how small my world was.

Page 28

Imari: The fact that when you hear someone perform, you can hear all of what that person has accumulated until then.

Imari: That's what I learned that day.

Imari: From then on, I started to take the koto seriously again, but everyone around me also got better and better, to the point I never got first place again.

Imari: To tell you the truth, there were a few times I thought about quitting. Still.

Imari: I just end up realizing "There is nothing else for me but this".

Page 29

Imari: And that's how it's been until now. Super lame, isn't it?

Luka: That's not true!

Luka: You are super cool.

Imari: ...

Imari: Speaking of, that's why I blew up saying pretty conceited things to you. I also---

Page 30

Miran [memory]: What you need to do is prop me up like all the rest.

Miran [memory]: When I'm the main star of the song...

Miran [memory]: You always get in my way...!

Page 31

Miran [memory]: Know that I would never give you the slightest consideration!

Miran [memory]: Being called a rival of yours makes me sick in the stomach!!!

Miran [memory]: It's because you're here.

Miran [memory]: Shut up, shut up, shut up!!

Miran [memory]: I'll do the solo!

Page 32

Miran: I'm so sorry.

Page 33

Miran: For all the hurtful things

Miran: That I've done because of my selfishness

Miran: For all the things I've said

Miran: I'm very sorry.

Page 34

Luka: Hey, Miran...

Luka: Now

Luka: Why don't you let us hear your story?

Luka: It's okay if you take your time.

Page 35

Kifune-sensei[thoughts]: ---Finally.

Kifune-sensei[thoughts]: Their worlds are now beggining to connect.

Side text: Taking it to the next level----....

---Kono Oto Tomare! will continue next month!---

#kono oto tomare #kono oto tomare! #kot #sounds of life #stop this sound! #kot! #rough tl #kono oto tomare! 132 #kono oto tomare 132 #kot 132 #kot! 132 #scans #translation

[abiiors]

midnight, car lights 🌃 // george daniel x reader

a/n: a second fic for the george bbf!au that's been plaguing me lately!! (a third one is coming soon). also happy 10 years of self titled <33 i'm scheduling this to come out at midnight uk time tihi

cw: none really, just fluff and flirting. maybe a very tiny age gap?? like 2 ish years

wc: 3.3k

“let’s go on a joyride.”

those words bounce around in your head like the dvd logo, said to you at 11:50 in the night—whisper-shouted would be more accurate. from under your balcony no less, like some fucked up iteration of romeo and juliet. 

so far you have failed to come up with a coherent answer for george who stares up at you expenctantly.

you lean over the railing, your curiosity piqued. "a joyride…” his words repeated back to him in a disbelieving deadpan voice. 

he nods eagerly. in his hands is a tiny heap of small stones—the source of the clinks on your bedroom window that had scared you half to death. when george follows your gaze, he drops the rocks hurriedly, dusting off his hands. 

“it’s a thursday night…” you point out. 

he clicks his tongue. “and you’re clearly not doing anything.”

your eyes narrow at his little jab. sure he’s right but come on now, he didn’t need to point it out like that.

“my brother—”

“is out on his ‘date’.” he makes a little face at that and you stifle the urge to laugh at how icked out he looks. clearly, some more questions that you need to pester matty with. but that’s for tomorrow. right now you raise an eyebrow at the way he cuts you off and finishes your sentences.

“my parents—”

“are asleep!!” his voice acquires a borderline whiny quality. “i checked!” he confirms proudly and before you have the chance to present him with further counterarguments, he throws his hands up in the air. 

“come on, little healy,” george’s grins a feral little grin, “scared you’ll get caught?”

you bite your lip, determined not to let him see your smile. it’s midnight, you’re in your pjs—an old ramones t-shirt and tiny shorts that barely come up to the top of your thighs—your hair is half out of your ponytail. in short, you’re the ugliest you’ve ever looked in front of george. 

meanwhile he looks like he’s just stepped out of an indie rock magazine—black skinny jeans, a black t-shirt that hangs loosely on him and yet somehow fits perfectly and his beloved vans. at this point, you’re sure george could wear just about anything and still look drop-dead gorgeous. 

“only a little drive? i promise i’ll get you back home in one piece.”

truth be told, you had made up your mind the first time he asked. a slow tingle of thrill slithers down your spine. the goody two shoes who’s never even smoked a cigarette before he came into the picture. about to sneak out the window at 11:56 pm. 

“okay,” you mumble to yourself. the small smile you’d tried to stifle escapes anyway. “okay, fine.”

george grins and whoops silently, fists the air in triumph. it does something funny to your stomach–his excitement. 

“hold on a minute,” you tell him before making a mad dash to your wardrobe for an acceptable pair of jeans and a t-shirt. 

the subtle nude lip gloss is inviting but you know it’s too much. he’s probably just bored on a thursday night and has nothing else to do. so begrudgingly you settle on a lip balm and brushing out your hair. 

it’s fine. it’s normal. and anyway, he’s not going to see you as anything more than matty’s little sister, so what’s the point?

another little rock clinks on your window followed by a soft whisper-shout. 

“hurry up!” the clear impatience in his voice makes you giggle but you look at the mirror a final time, smoothing out your unruly hair. this is as best as it gets. 

after all, this is not a date.

“can’t exactly fly out the window, george,” you respond drily as soon as he comes back into view. 

he looks around curiously, toeing the grass and pulling it loose with his shoes. you can practically see the wheels in his head turning, generating ideas that you don’t entirely trust… matty’s friends aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed—not according to you anyway—but once george gets an idea, it is downright impossible to deter him. 

“that looks good enough,” he mumbles but you catch it anyway, catch the spot his eyes are trained on and your stomach plummets about half a foot. 

“have you—have you lost your mind?!” you stifle your screech halfway through, looking at the boy in front of you like he’s grown two heads. 

george shrugs, looking the least bit bothered and points to the pipe next to your window. 

“it’s sturdy, look,” he gives it two firm raps with his knuckles. “and there’s the brick for you to grab onto. and i’ll catch you.”

the last part has your ears perking up. you look at him with a raised eyebrow. it’s only a floor. the ground below you is soft grass that’s regularly mowed and looked after. if you fall, the most that will happen is a bruised ass (and a bruised ego). besides, the alternative is to go your through the front door and risk waking up the whole house. 

“trust me!” he bounces on the balls of his feet, eager and impatient. 

george stuffs his hands in his pockets, veins on his forearms taut with tension. his colourful tattoos are a stark contrast to his all-black outfit. should you trust him? 

“if i fall—”

“you won’t!” he answers confidently. “i’m not going to let you get hurt.”

your heart skips a beat at how soft he sounds, mumbling the sentence more to himself than to you. a shadow of tenderness crosses his features, or maybe you’re just projecting. just a silly little girl with a crush on her brother’s best friend. a cliché. 

“can’t let my best mate’s little sister get hurt,” he clears his throat. and your heart drops in your chest. of course not. to him you are nothing but matty’s sister. ‘little healy’. 

“’course not,” you mutter begrudgingly and grab onto the pipe.

george stands below you, hands raised, neck craning to guide your steps down the exposed brick wall. there’s taking risks and then there’s whatever the fuck this is. regardless, you have put a disturbing amout of faith is george and now there’s nowhere to go but down. literally. 

the last few feet loom between you and the ground. your sweaty palms almost slip and involuntarily a whimper escapes you. 

“almost there, sweetheart,” george murmurs. that word snags in your brain. all thoughts fly away, and before you know it, you’re missing a step, foot slipping on the rough wall. there’s a split second of panic, the beginning of a scream that dies in your throat as soon as you feel a pair of hands around your waist. 

warm, rough hands on soft skin. 

george, holding you up. 

you’re practically pulled flush against his chest, wide-eyed and flushed from the almost fall. funnily enough, the vertigo intensifies the moment you look up into his eyes. they’re just as wide as yours, mouth parted as if he was about to say something. 

for a fleeting instant, time seems to stand still. the world around you fades into a distant blur as you and george remain locked in this suspended moment, bodies pressed close together, his towering over yours. his warm breath tickles your skin, and you can feel the rapid thud of his heart against your chest.

"are you okay?" george's voice is a hushed murmur, his grip on you firm yet gentle.

you manage a shaky nod, finding your voice after a few seconds. "yeah, i... i think so."

george's grip on you doesn't waver as he slowly guides you back onto the solid ground, his hands lingering on your waist for an extra beat before finally releasing you. you take a step back, both to regain your composure and to put some distance between the two of you. 

"thanks," you mumble, your cheeks burning with embarrassment. "i don't know what happened there." you giggle nervously, unable to stare directly into his eyes. 

"no need to thank me,” he smiles, “just glad i was here."

the two of you stand there for a second, the weight of the almost moment hanging in the air. then, as if on cue, george's playful grin returns, diffusing the tension like a ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds.

"good to know i can make your heart race like that, little healy," he begins with a teasing glint in his eyes.

despite the heat creeping up your neck, a small laugh escapes your lips, the tension finally breaking as you roll your eyes at his cheeky comment. "you're unbelievable, george."

“right then,” he toes a small pebble, stuffing his hands in his pocket. “shall we?”

his car is cleaner than you expected. 

sure there are some receipts and empty plastic bottles on the floor, even a jacket in the back seat for some inexplicable reasons but it’s nowhere near the pigsty that is your brother’s car. 

“in you go,” he motions, casually holding the door for you. internally you’re grateful that he can’t see your flustered expression. 

it’s a tiny gesture, barely even a gesture really—just a boy opening a car door for you. but he’s not just a boy. he’s george—the boy who makes you mad beyond belief and annoys you with the smallest of efforts. the boy who makes you stumble over your words. the boy who is your brother’s best friend. 

“my my, george,” you tease to cover up your flustered silence, “manners. when did that happen?”

george rolls his eyes as he closes the car door behind you, and you settle into the passenger seat. you notice the faint scent of air freshener, attempting to mask any lingering odors from the cigarettes he no doubt must have smoked earlier. you glance sideways at him when he gets settled in the driver’s seat, unable to hide the hint of a smile playing at the corner of your lips.

"believe it or not," george retorts, putting the car in reverse, "i do have manners sometimes. just don't expect it all the time."

another playful taunt crawls up your throat, about to make it’s way out of your mouth when george casually just does the hottest thing you’ve ever possibly seen. your heart is in your mouth as you try not to stare at his arm behind your headrest. george, oblivious to your freak out, focuses solely on reversing the car from its little hiding spot. his cologne—something warm and smoky—fills the tiny car. a space that is so overwhelmingly him that you have to swallow roughly every couple minutes lest you do something incredibly stupid. 

like grabbing his face and kissing him senseless. 

especially with how inviting his light stubble looks. 

instead, you pointedly stare out the window at the dull grey road beneath you. 

“scared?” he teases, misinterpreting your darting eyes. 

all you can do is shake your head. there’s no way you trust your ability to speak right now, especially as half of your brain is focused on not ogling his arms and hands. 

this was a mistake. this was a stupid, idiotic, avoidable mistake. 

“come on! aren’t you excited to do something reckless for once?”

you are, you really really are. there’s no denying it as the car finally maneuvers out of the parking spot and away from your house. 

you let out a silent sigh of relief. the tension in the air begins to dissipate, and you take the opportunity to relax your grip on the seat. you sneak another glance at george, this time allowing yourself to truly take in his features.

his bleached hair is tousled—just the right amout of effortlessly messy, and his full pink lips only intensify the butterflies in your stomach. george is beautiful—from the way his hands grip the steering wheel with confidence to his jaw that tenses as he focuses on the road. all of it makes your heart race again. you can't deny your silly little crush, can’t deny all the times you have wished george was anyone but matty’s best friend. that you actually had the courage to kiss him. more than that you can’t deny all the times you’ve wished he would kiss you first. 

“where are we going?” you clear your throat, distinctly aware of how breathy you sound. 

george shrugs. “maccies, i think. been really craving some milkshake.”

and then he has the audacity to snicker at your gaping face. “a milkshake…” you trail off, wondering if hitting him on the head would be taking it too far. “sure, good to know i risked my life for your milkshake cravings!”

“pfft,” he blows air, taking his eyes off the road and training them on to you. “admit it, sweetheart, you were ready to, oh what was it? ‘risk your life’ for the thrill of it. don’t lie to me now, i saw it in your eyes.”

there it is again, the little flutter in your ribcage at the s-word. george seems so casual about it too, throwing it around like it doesn’t bother him whatsoever. and maybe it doesn’t, maybe he uses that on every single girl he talks to. the thought curdles in your stomach. 

“fine then,” you huff, turning back to the window.

the mcdonald’s is a flurry of people—drunk and high students looking to satisfy their munchies, homeless people looking for a cheap meal and shelter. exhausted employees handing out orders with a dead expression on their face. you almost feel sad, making them prepare two milkshakes at this ungodly hour. 

you turn to george who is busy studying the menu with the utmost curiosity. 

“strawberry,” he mumbles to himself then turns to you. “or no, wait. banana?”

you quirk an eyebrow. “strawberry is superior.”

“which means that’s what you’re getting,” he replies and goes back to perusing.

“if you think, for even a second, that i would let you steal—”

“so territorial, sweetheart,” he teases, eyes still on the artificially lit board. “fine. two strawberries then.”

george places the orders, giving the cashier his winning smile and handing over some cash. she perks up slightly, eyeing him through her lashes while george leans against the counter. a sudden heat burns through you, wild and unpleasant. 

heartburn, you tell yourself. the milkshake will fix it. 

or maybe not looking at george being flirty would fix it but oh well…

so you turn around, finding yourself an empty seat and leave him to bring over the drinks. 

minutes later, you almost jump out of your skin when george places the cool take-out container against the nape of your neck without warning. 

“real mature, george!” the shriek causes a few people to throw distasteful looks your way but he looks absolutely unbothered and oblivious.

“such a grump,” he snickers and motions for you to follow him. 

armed with your milkshake, you settle in the car once again. the car park is almost dead at this hour of the night and you wait for him to start the car back up, for him to tell you what the next steps are but george only taps tirelessly on the steering wheel. a complete 180 from five minutes ago.

tap. pause. tap tap tap. pause. tap. pause. it’s restless and rhytmless; not like his usual tapping where he’s lost in own tune. his milkshake sits untouched, condensation dripping onto the dashboard. 

you wrap your lips around the straw, sucking on it noisely, sipping on the sweet, cool liquid while you observe him closely. “something’s on your mind.” 

your statement makes him blink. so you’re right then, something is on his mind. he’s more fidgety than usual. in the stillness of the night, his thick swallows and knee jerks are painfully obvious. 

“what’s up…” you trail off, unsure if pushing him would be the right move. 

“there’s this–well. i want to–”

“this is new.” the amount of glee in your voice should be disturbing to you but you can’t contain it. because it is new. 

you’ve seen george be arrogant and annoying, laddish and even on occasion, sweet. but you’ve never seen him be shy before. 

“shut up,” he mutters to himself, then sighs loudly. “okay fine, it’s better if i just show you.”

you follow his movements inquisitively, his imperceptibly shaky hands as he takes out his phone and opens up a non-descript recording titled track 11

his phone screen illuminates his face in the dimly lit car as he hovers over the audio file. the soft glow casts a warm, intimate ambiance, making you acutely aware of how close you are to him in the confined space. your curiosity and anticipation mount as you wonder what he's about to reveal.

"i've been thinking about this for a while now," he clears his throat, finger lowering to finally click on the file. "and i want to share something with you."

at first, nothing happens. all that comes out of the speakers is static and then some more static. but just as you're about to speak, the car is filled with the opening notes of a song—one that instantly tugs at your memory. It's a tune that you have heard before, at different points in time. it's the song that matty’s hummed to you on days you were ill in bed, a song you heard them play at band practice. it’s a song that george and matty laboured over for days. the one that brought you all closer together.

and now it sounds all put together. the final piece of the puzzle locked in.

matty’s voice is stronger than you’ve ever heard, adam’s guitar and ross’ bass sprinkling magic onto it. and then there are the drums—precise and clear and passionate. just like how george drums his fingers on his lap now, matching the beat of the song.   

when the song ends, there's a brief silence in the car. the weight of the notes and the sincerity in his eyes hang in the air, leaving you breathless.

"george," you finally whisper, "that was..."

“we finished it,” he smiles, looking down at his lap. “so we recorded it…”

“it’s…”

there you are once again, at a loss for words. almost certain that there might be actual tears in your eyes. 

“that was…”

“shit? derivative? lousy?” he tries to laugh it off, covering up a vulnerable moment with his jokes but you’d be damned if you let that happen. 

“perfect.” 

the words echoes around the car resoundingly. there’s no challenging your opinion. the song is perfect.

“and you listen to me once and for all george daniel, if you call that song names in front of me one more time, if i hear you call it shit and derivitive and lousy again—”

before you can finish your sentence, george leans forward, crashing his lips onto yours. there’s a crackle of electricity in the air around you, the slowing down of time as if you’re having an out-of-body experience. as if you are a fly on the wall watching two people giving into the magnetic pull between them. but george cups your cheek with his hand and you jolt back into your body. 

his lips are cool from the milkshake but the kiss is searing hot, teeth clashing against teeth. your bodies trying to get as close to each other as possible despite the gearstick between your seats. george tugs on your bottom lip, smiling wide as if he can’t help it—grinning ear to ear.

by the time you pull away, you’re both breathing heavily—practically panting. he doesn’t pull back entirely, instead he keeps his eyes closed and his forehead rested against yours. the grin stays on his face. wide and gorgeous and making him look so boyish. 

“um,” you start and break off into a quick laugh. 

"i've wanted to do that for quite some time now," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper.

“yeah?” 

“yeah.”

with some hesitation, george lets go of your face, opening his eyes to look at you a second later. 

“damn, sweetheart,” he sighs again, chuckling a little. “this is turning out to be a great joyride, huh…”

lemme know what you think <33

taglist: @scooby-doodoo, @partoftheairforce, @beachesgetpeaches, @justgoatsbreakinghearts0855 @beachesgetpeaches, @you-muppet, @mcabister, @alexmarie29, @at-her-very-foreign, @hfkait, @squishysoupy

add yourself to the taglist

#disclaimer: i don't own the gifs in the banner. i got them from pinterest so idk who the creators are sadly #they kissed. everyone cheered. #banner by cafekitsune <33 #george daniel #george daniel x reader #george daniel fic #ross macdonald #matty healy #adam hann #the 1975 #george daniel imagine #george daniel the 1975 #george daniel x you #george x reader #george x you #brother's best friend #george daniel fluff #the 1975 fluff #the 1975 rpf #rpf #fluff #fluff writing

[myrachondria]

In The Depths of His Obsession - Part 1

(Dark!Sebastian x f!MC, Ominis x f!MC {implied})

☆view my bookcase here!☆

Part 1 of this teaser!

summary | 5 years after the events of their 5th year, Sebastian has been released from Azkaban. He never stopped loving MC and now is his chance to take what is his, by any means necessary. Only one issue - looks like someone beat him to it. No matter, he will do what needs to be done.

warnings | possessiveness, stalking, slight angst

notes | one person's bad ending is another person's happy ending 🙃

word count | 2K

Betrayal. An excruciating pain tore through his heart as he was forcefully dragged away from the hallowed halls of Hogwarts by the cold, unforgiving grip of the Aurors. His gaze met the faces of those he once considered his truest friends—the very ones who had betrayed him. Imprisoned in the chilling depths of Azkaban, he made a solemn vow to avenge the unforgivable betrayal by those he had trusted above all else—his own sister, Anne, his dearest friend, Ominis, and the love of his life, MC.

Sebastian did anything and everything he could to help cure his sister from the curse that plagued her. She was cursed by Rookwood the summer before their fourth year, and ever since then she would get these bursts of pain randomly, leaving her weak and unable to do anything. He spent two years trying anything and everything to help her, including studying the Dark Arts. Sebastian had ended up getting into a fight with their uncle, Solomon, after Soloman attacked both himself and MC. Sebastian regret what he did, killing his uncle, but he would not let Sebastian at least try to heal Anne, and it was in self defense. Why was his uncle attacking a couple of 16 year olds? However, Anne did not see it that way. She helped turn Sebastian in. When he got out, oh Merlin, when he got out he would make sure to make her pay. He did all of this for her and this is how she treated him?

And then, there was Ominis. They had been best friends since they were 11 years old. They were more like brothers than friends at that point. He remembers the first day him and Anne met Ominis. Everyone was whispering and gossiping about the youngest Gaunt now attending Hogwarts, the youngest decendent of Salazar Slytherin. The Gaunts were known to be a family of Dark Wizards and having strong connections, both through friendship and as well as familial, so the other students were scared of the young Gaunt. And to add on top of that, Ominis was blind, which made him all the more fearful. But Sebastian and Anne befriended him and quickly learned that he had a kind heart and was a sensitive soul.

He showed the twins the Undercroft, where the three of them spent all their time together. The grew so close to each other that Sebastian even thought that there might have been a mutual romantic connection between Ominis and Anne. Maybe Ominis could have officially become his brother one day, well, brother in-law. After Anne was cursed, Ominis tried to help Sebastian find a cure for her. But all of that came to a head in the middle of their fifth year, as Ominis gave more and more pushback, talking down to Sebastian about studying the Dark Arts to find a cure for Anne. As if Ominis had never engaged in the Dark Arts himself, casting Crucio on innocent muggles. Their situation was the same, both of them had no other choice, but Ominis refused to see it that way. Traitor. Sebastian would be sure to find him and make him pay, that is, if his family hadn’t gotten to him first.

The thought of that made Sebastian smile.

And then there was MC. His darling MC. Not even the dementors could take away or taint his memories of MC. Sure, when he was first imprisoned he hated MC. But she was manipulated into turning him in. Or she didn’t know. She looked heartbroken, after all. Ever since they had their first duel in their DADA class, he was smitten with her. And even moreso when they went to Hogsmeade together and took down a troll. A troll. She was amazing. She understood him when no one else did, she followed him through any plan to help cure Anne. She shared everything with him, and he with her. Even things that weren’t his to share, such as the Undercroft of Ominis’ past. Shortly after they confessed their feelings to each other, that incident with his uncle happened. Soon enough after that, he was being dragged away, promising her that he would never forget her.

And now was the time. Because he was only 16 when it happened and because Solomon had attacked them first, he was only sentenced to 5 years, pending good behavior. Of course he was on good behavior. How could he not be? If being on good behavior meant that he was able to see MC sooner, he would be on his best behavior. And if he stayed out of trouble for a year, he could even get his record expunged and live a completely normal life, like nothing had ever happened. Obviously, he wasn’t going to do that, he had two individuals he needed to hunt down, but as long as he waited a year and wasn’t caught it would be fine.

An Azkaban guard walked up to his cell and opened it, leading him to the edge of the island, where a boat waited for him, along with a few other prisoners. Sebastian stood and took a deep breath of the outside air, of the fresh air. His eyes adjusted as he looked around the island, it was evening time and the island looked just as eerie as one would image. The guard lead Sebastian, along with a few others, to a small boat tied right at the edge of the island.

They all listened to the guard’s instructions on what to expect in the next few days, how to retrieve their wands, what they’ll be provided with, and so on. Sebastian boarded the boat and it set sail back to civilization. He sat in the corner by himself, thinking about how the next few months would be for him. First, he would find out where Anne, Ominis, and MC where and what they’ve been up to. Then, he would approach and win back MC. And then, depending on how Anne and Ominis were doing, he would wait a year before implementing his revenge plan.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the boat docking and being tied down. The guard from before lead him and the other prisoners off of the boat, and towards the Ministry approved inn nearby. All of the prisoners, well the former prisoners, were given a fresh pair of clothes as well as their own room for the night. Sebastian took his pajamas and waited for everyone else to shower as he was deep in his thoughts. The hot water felt like bliss on his body, it had been so long since he felt hot water on his skin. Slipping on his cotton pajamas and laying on the bed, he quickly fell asleep to sweet thoughts and dreams of MC. Falling asleep that night was so easy since he didn’t have to wear the scratchy uniform or sleep on the cold floor. More importantly, falling asleep was easy because he was finally a free man.

The next day he was able to collect his wand as well as a few other things to help him start a new life. He reviewed the terms of his release, the biggest one being that he could not leave the country for one year and had to check in with the Ministry on a monthly basis for one year. He sighed. Annoying, but doable. His heart ached to run away and start fresh, but for her, for her he would stay. He signed the necessary documents and quickly went on his way.

First, Anne. He traveled to the home that he once knew so well, but now felt unfamiliar. Would he see Ominis with her? Would that be for the better or worse? On one hand, he wouldn’t have to hunt Ominis down then, but on the other hand, it would mean they were happy together and he would have to fix that. Standing in front of the door, he slowly opened it.

“Hello?”

Silence.

He wandered around the small home slowly. The memories of his childhood flooded his mind as he looked around. It was pretty much the same as it used to be. Except, no one was home. Actually, it looked like no one had been home for a while.

He wandered outside to the back and noticed two tombstones. Solomon Sallow and Anne Sallow. Seeing her like that, knowing she had passed away… It didn’t take long before the tears started flowing from his eyes. She was his sister, after all. How did she die? Was she alone? Was someone at least there with her during her last few moments?

All of this was just too much for him. He went back inside the house and slept for the rest of the day.

The next day, he wandered into town and spoke to a few of the people. It turned out that she was never cured of her sickness and eventually passed away. She did have a couple of friends that visited her time to time, so she wasn’t alone. That was a relief.

Next was Ominis. As luck would have it, while Sebatian asked around to find out where his former best friend was and what had happened in his life, he found MC first. She was just as stunning as he remembered. No, even moreso. He watched her exit a store, a couple bags in hand. He kept his distance, not wanting to scare or alarm her. She was still so kind and still had that alluring aura to her.

He quickly found out where she lived and decided that he would pay her a short visit. Maybe he could finally start an official courtship with her. His heart swelled at the idea. Once she left, he went into a local florist’s shop and purchased a beautiful bouquet of her favorite flowers. Next, he went and bought himself a nice outfit, complete with a vest and tie.

He returned back to his home in Feldcroft and got ready for his visit, his heart pounding in his chest. Looking at himself in the mirror, he was now unrecognizable. Gone were the boyish looks he once had, and now a fully grown man stared back at him in the mirror. He looked so similar to the photographs he had seen of his father. He wiped a tear before it could fall onto his cheek. 

Now, it was finally his turn to be happy. To get married. To start a family. He would do anything for MC. He would even forgive Ominis if she asked.

He began on his way to her home, interestingly enough it was not too far from his own. It was evening at this point and while he would have preferred to visit her during the day, he could not bear to wait a moment longer. As he approached her home, he could see her living room lit up from a nearby fireplace. He stopped in front of the window, wanting to make sure that she was not busy before he interrupted her. He took a peek inside, and what a sight he saw.

He saw MC, the love of his life, inside sitting on the sofa talking to someone. And who else would it be that she spoke so intimately with besides his former best friend. Maybe they were just friends? Sebastian continued to watch them speak to each other. 

He watched as they engaged in an intimate discussion. He watched the way she looked at Ominis. He watched how Ominis reached out and held her hand while comforting her. He watched how she didn’t flinch or pull away. He watched the two of them embrace in a hug that was all too similar to the way he used to hug her.

Sebastian then experienced a specific feeling that he had grown to know all too well. Betrayal. Turning his face, he vowed to make his former best friend pay for stealing the love of his life away from him. He dropped the flowers to the ground and began on his way back to his own home.

If only Sebastian had continued watching the two of them, just for a few moments longer.

tag list:

@imaslytherpuff @wickedfury

#dark!sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian sallow oneshot #sebastian x mc #sebastian sallow x you #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow fanfiction #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy fandom #ominis gaunt #hogwarts legacy fanfic #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #ominis gaunt x mc #ominis gaunt x you #ominis #azkaban #sebastian sallow x reader #ominis gaunt x reader #anne sallow #hogwarts legacy mc #dark! sebastian sallow #dark romance #ai art #sebastian sallow ai

[redladydeath]

Some Vox human life headcanons that have been developing in my head over the past few weeks

He was born Vaughn Oxright in the late 1910’s/early 1920’s to a well-off, show-biz couple from Philadelphia

Was a child star from the ages of about 5 to 9, mostly doing live dance acts at mid-sized theaters across the US. That phase of his life was ended by a leg injury that never healed properly (neither he nor his parents wanted to slow down long enough for it to fully heal and he kept dancing on it until long-term damage was done), and his family had no choice but to settle back down in Philly.

First realized he was interested in men at age 11 when he became super attached to an older boy in his church’s youth group. He became very clingy and started sending the boy dozens of increasingly intense totally-not-love letters, which made the boy uncomfortable and got Vox switched out of the group. The fact that this was obviously a crush went unsaid, but not unnoticed by those involved. The rejection was devastating for Vox, and he swung hard into homophobia and petty displays of masculinity afterward.

He stayed out of show-biz during his teen years, but still participated in dozens of events and competitions— any opportunity to perform and receive praise.

Was drafted into WWII as a young man. Never saw combat on account of his old leg injury, but was instead assigned to work as an electrical engineer, building radar tech and other telecommunications materials. It was outside of his intended field of study, but he took to it quickly and became very close with the other men on his team. It was the last time in his life he could remember feeling truly happy.

Realized he was really, embarrassingly into BDSM (or at least the 40’s/50’s equivalent) via pulp novels, plus how excited he was made by the head of his team being cold/condescending towards him when he first joined. Took this secret to the grave, but always kept a stash of retro-style erotica wherever he was living.

After the war, he decided to get back into show business. Started dating and quickly married a girl from a wealthy, well-connected family. Things started off okay, but only took a few years to devolve into simmering animosity. He was self-absorbed and inattentive, she started using pills to cope. Neither of them had any interest in getting a divorce though, given the times and the damage it would do to both their reputations. They had two kids who were basically raised solely by their nanny. Their parents both loved them in their own ways, but were too wrapped up in themselves to pay them very much mind.

Vox quickly got involved in the television industry, using his good looks and charm to rapidly climb the ranks and land a job as a presenter. He was a pain to work with for anyone he deemed beneath him, but he was a great networker and could schmooze with the “important people” like nobody’s business.

Despite running in some pretty elite circles, his TV career never quite reached the heights he wanted it to. He was, objectively, quite successful, making good money and being the face of his own show, but he wanted to aim higher. He managed to finagle his way into a film role, hoping it would kick-start a new phase in his career, but despite being a great performer, Vox just wasn’t an actor. The film bombed. He didn’t take it well.

When he walked into the studio one day in the mid-50’s, ready to shoot another show, he had no idea it was to be his last day on Earth. He was just supposed to introduce a musical performance alongside his co-anchor, that was it. But for whatever reason, the crew decided that this time, they wanted them to do it using standing microphones. However, due to a mistake by one of the tech guys, Vox’s microphone was not properly grounded. When they started counting down and Vox put his hands on the mic, several hundred volts of electricity went coursing through his body. His heart stopped almost instantly. He didn’t have time to even register what had happened to him, just the sound of screams and the faint smell of burning flesh.

#mr tv man is setting up shop in my brain. please help #will probably come back and add early demon life headcanons too in a few days rip #redlady speaks #hazbin hotel #vox #hazbin hotel vox #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #hazbin posting

[mrs-snape5984]

“I'll meet you on a day that never ends. I'll greet you in a way that heaven meant…”

“I hope you don't break my heart of stone. I don't wanna scream out loud and wake up on my own…” (“Idler’s Dream” by Oasis)

Considering, that I don’t see any way out of the misery, which my life has become since this cruel and inexorable disease ME/CFS has robbed me from being myself, I’ve started to commission some of my beloved artists of Snapedom with a special project of mine. I explained to them, that I’m slowly fading away from my life as well as from other people’s lives. It started two years ago, when this sickness got me into her relentless grip, forcing me to let go of the life, I’ve known before. Losing more and more of my abilities and strengths with each passing day, I’m finding myself in an unstoppable spiral of torments.

Nowadays, I’m not capable of leaving my room and most of the times even my bed anymore. Day in, day out I’m surrounded by darkness, silence and solitude. Participating in social activities, in milestones of my children or even in longer conversations with friends isn’t possible for me anymore. My presence has lost its meaning and purpose.

Whereas my phone didn’t stand still in the beginning of my disease, when friends and colleagues were worried about me…it’s getting more silent now. People are starting to forget about me…and yes, I can absolutely understand them. It must be frustrating to send messages or attempt to call me without getting a proper reply. My former boss told me some weeks ago, that people are feeling speechless about my situation, so it’s easier for them to forget about me…letting me become a faint memory in the back of their heads. This is exactly, what I meant, when I said, that I’m fading away…and it’s okay. I can’t be mad about it. I understand.

It’s also happening here on tumblr…and yet, here are still some kind people, who seem to notice my silence. I was astonished to hear, that my friend @capysnapeart, whom I commissioned for this beautiful artwork of Severus and my highly self-inserted OC Jules, searched me in a sweet post on their blog, after not hearing from me for several days. I was even more dumbfounded, when I realised, that other lovely people of Snapedom had also noticed my absence from my online life. This was very unexpected, but - indeed - touching and heartwarming to me. Thank you for not forgetting about me.

The project, which I’ve commissioned @capysnapeart and some other artists for, should show the different stages of the life, I’m expecting to have after my final breath, which doesn’t seem to be so far away anymore. I’ve set myself a limit…a certain point of no return, at which I won’t be able to accept and endure my pain and my suffering anymore. Well…let’s just leave it like that.

In my imagination, I will be able to choose, how my afterlife will look like. I will be with Severus, the character, I’ve been clinging on for the past 21 years, already. I imagine, that we will meet at the age of 11 years and from then on, we will spend the rest of our lives together...growing old together. It may sound strange and pathetic, but this is all, that I'm wishing for. I want to come home to him...

I asked Capy to draw Severus and Jules as a middle-aged couple…sitting on a bench in front of their little cottage at the sea. I’d love to see them being happy together…finally living the life, they’ve always wanted to live…the life, they’ve deserved to have! They’re cuddling on this wooden bench…feeling like home in themselves.

Capy, my dear friend, I’m beyond grateful for your understanding of my wish for this mesmerising artwork. You’ve managed to capture the peace and the silence of this scenery so perfectly, that it made me shed countless tears of longing. A longing for this fantasy to become true one day, when I will let go of my existence, eventually. Thank you for your talent, your kindness and your acceptance of my ideas. Feel hugged! 🫂🥹

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

#Severus x Julia #Sevy x Jules #severus x oc #my afterlife #fuck me/cfs #i’m so tired #i want to go home #our cottage #i’m fading away #commissioning artwork is my goddamn coping mechanism #this is my red carpet for all the artists of snape fandom #severus snape #he’s by my side for 21 years now #21 years and still counting #snape #i love severus #i love snape #snape love #pro snape #pro severus snape #snape content #severus snape art #pencil drawing #severus snape fan art #severus fanart #snart #snapedom #mecfs #writing is my coping mechanism #snape art

[firefly--bright]

carry me out.

jean kirstein x reader , modern a.u.

summary ; you've let your predetermined, statistical thoughts on being loved carry you out for a long time. maybe you realise that jean should be an exception.

warnings ; HUGE trigger warning for suicidal thoughts, especially in the beginning. overall very angsty, but slight comfort at the end. no pre-existing relationship, only the indications of one. underage (?) alcohol consumption (please be safe n responsible with alcohol!)

a/n ; finally wrote a fic after like a month lmao im so sorry. a) for being gone so long and not updating my other fics but also b) returning with another heavy one. no promises if this is me coming out of my haitus, though, i still have end-sem submissions to worry about. everything has been hell but hey atleast im alive! anyways, as always, enjoy! also if you ever need anyone to talk to, im always here. please know that. youre not alone!

taglist ; @holding-infinity-and-a-book , @mrsnobodynobody , @hopeless-anti-romantic , @jeanscremebrulee , @berrijam , @cherrypieyourface , @imgayandshesanime , @moonmalice , @kiernova , @potaho3frog , @xakilicious , @katestrophes (please feel free to skip this story, even if you are tagged, if it's too heavy for you!!)

huge thank you to @raazberry my absolute favouritest person for beta reading this :3

masterlist is in pinned post ✿ enter my taglist! ✿

You weren’t going to live past the next three years.

You knew this – it was written in your teary-eyed thirteen year old self’s note to a much older you, “if youre still the same after everything and you still feel like this all the time, then why keep trying? If youre not happy in somewhere outside of your head, then why keep living? Do you really want to live past 24?”

The letter may have been written against your better judgement, and you could still feel the cold of your marbled bathroom tiles and the too-bright florescent light above your head as you tried to stop your hand from shaking, but you lived by it. In all reality, your hopes were dwindling, and this misshapen version of you that sat infront of the mirror looked more like a smudged charcoal drawing instead of your face. You didn’t know how or why it was the way it was, but you had to live with this, live with the burnt and shaky outline of yourself thanks to the years you spent with your light still ablaze.

you sigh. Its all you know how to do.

The door knocks and you shift from your mirror to the source. Your heart skips a beat and everything lulls into a low hum.

“hey,” he says, with your name on his tongue as if he’s kept it there for years. “we were thinking about going out now that midterms are over. You wanna join?” he asks, his thumb pointing to the invisible invitation outside of your room.

You blink, humming the semblance of what you’d call love in your mind. “maybe. What’s  in it for me?” you ask. A smile graces your face and it doesn’t feel that foreign.

He pretends to think, humming out the same tune that played in your head every waking moment, his voice a low and calm tide. “free food?”

You breathe out a laugh. This bit doesn’t feel like a play, it doesn’t feel like a script with big block letters and directions and your name written in all caps. It feels normal. It feels foreign.

“don’t tell sasha, though.” He says, pointing a finger at you with a loose fist.

“I make no promises.” You really don’t.

“well, then, you should."

Maybe you would.

 Connie’s laughter would usually be described as an annoying 11 year old’s, but today, it offered you comfort like ice against a bruise, and marco would usually be described as a worried father, but his warmth was appreciated when he held the door open for all of you to walk in. sasha was already inside, chatting with her boyfriend who couldn’t be more happy to look at her with his chin resting on his palm and a soft smile on his face. Sasha’s animated voice could usually be described as the babbling of a child, but today it offered to be the noise that you craved. She was dressed well, with a bow tied gently into her hair and you wondered how you got this lucky to be half-present in the light of these fools.

Jean was always next to you, always to your left, always silently giving you his secretly undivided attention. Even as connie got another round of drinks for the table, even when sasha ate all the fries that were supposed to be shared, even when marco, ever the extrovert, went to mingle with friends from his other classes, even as niccolo held sasha’s hair back when she entered an unsaid drinking competition with Mikasa and her unshaken record, he was there. To your left, looking at his right with a warmth and gentleness that would’ve shaken you had you noticed it.

There was chatter. There was always noise, something to occupy your mind, as you played with the condensation on your glass, silently waiting for connie to shout out another drink that he presumed youd enjoy. To his credit, you did enjoy them, but maybe downing them in one go wasn’t the best idea if you truly wanted to savour them, and if the attention you were getting from your left wasn’t so alert, you’d have left this bar a long time ago.

And this didn’t mean any harm to your friends. Of course not, they couldn’t help but be the sun. they couldn’t help being this all consuming light that couldn’t stop itself from touching and spilling onto any surface it could find. Truly, you loved them for it like how you loved the sun – from a distance, looking at it through squinted eyes because you were afraid of it’s beauty. No, it wouldn’t be their fault that you were too much of a coward to feel what they offered to everyone without the hesitation you had.

“this is the part where you tell me what’s on your mind.” Jean says from beside you, memorizing a script you weren't aware of. theres a chord in your mind that rings out as he does, beginning an unfinished song that would continue on for as long as you lived.

You hum. It gets lost with the increasing sound of the song in your head and around you. shaking your head, you say something that’s unconvincing to your already deaf ears. “nothing,”

His palms slide over your wrist, covering up the embarrassment your pulse brings to yourself with a softness that doesn’t fail to shake you this time, noticing the way he looks around the place youre in – a bar? Youre not sure. You haven’t been sure where you ever were – and stops as he finds one. He gives you a once-over and leads you to the haven he’s scanned around for. he refuses to remove his hand from your wrist and some small or large or whatever-is-remaining part of you wants him to keep it there until your body evolves to accommodate his skin on yours.

You wonder how he feels. For the first time in a while, you wonder what it feels like to live outside of your head, outside of your own whatever-is-remaining body, outside of the stripped bare bones with pieces of meat stuck on it after charred teeth having gorged upon it night and day for twenty years. Does he see you that way? Could he stand to see the state you had yourself in, an unholy and unceremonious shrine to yourself, with nothing but the most minutest proof of your existence instead of everything you’d always wanted to become? Or does he see you as something that remains standing despite it? Would he see you as just that- the proof of the proof?

“there we go. No more noise.” He says decidedly and you’d agree a thousand times over. The chord he plays still reverbs through the empty nest of your chest and you agree – its as present as the noise of silence.

You hum again. You have no words to say. He doesn’t let go of your wrist and you pretend not to notice, just as he does. His fingers are calloused and weathered under unsaid conditions but you hope its because of love. It’s a large word to say, to think and to feel but you’ve long since forgone the formalities of having to speak. In your head, all words mean the same and nothing at the same time.

“saw a cat today.” He says. In your head, you agree.

This means something. Each word he says has its own representation, its own grip and handle on you instead of it all being everything.

You lean against something solid. Only then do you realise youre at a rooftop – climbing the stairs wasn’t registered when you spent your time staring at your beloved’s back, observing how his shirt moved over his skin with every consequential step, every meaningful breath. You became even more blind to the bodies of people that were a thousand times more present than you.

Only then do you realise the brightness of the city lights under you. the building you were on didn’t look all that tall, but it seemed taller than the rest. There were people there, being alive, breathing their own air and their own sound as yours made none. You let jean’s breathing be enough for the two of you until you’d find the dormant strength in yourself to find your own.

“brown and ginger fur. It was this tiny-“ he says. You throw him a glance because youre afraid looking at him for more than that would leave you with no choice but to keep burning, and his hands cup an invisible ball-like shape. You smile, looking back at the distant windows that carry their hopes into the night sky. “If I see it again, im gonna name it cookie.” He says.

Your smile grows gentler under the curtain of your fingers that are curled up against your lips, your chin on your palm. You wonder then, again, how he sees you. do you seem uninterested? You don’t mean to be, and he should know, but you don’t have the courage or the guts to let him know otherwise. Your words will get jumbled by the time you decide to regurgitate it, they’ll spill out of you in a blurring mess. You’ll end up having to say your name thrice to believe youre still here, if at all.

He's silent. His shoulder brushes against yours and you feel this like a script of a play – written in big block letters with his name signed over it, written in the brackets because its something that needs notice.

HES BRUSHING YOUR SHOULDERS LIKE HE ALWAYS IS, and youre an idiot because you think it makes you yourself. In a bracket, its specified with your name on top in big block letters – HE SEES YOU.

When you turn your head to that god-awful, all consuming left side again, he does. He sees you and you decide that now is a good time to return back to the whatever-is-remaining body again. Your bones shake with the song that keeps playing when he’s around and maybe the hopefulness of the open window lights of the city before and after you carries your hopefulness with it.

Maybe the light that his eyes reflect can carry out your silent grief with him. Maybe the burden you hold over yourself for so long – the one that you’ve gnawed and scratched and kneeled and digested over – maybe this all consuming shake in your body could use some pre-written and pre-determined accompaniment.

He doesn’t say anything. Whatever his script is, he doesn’t follow it. Maybe its his silence that speaks more about you than you could fathom for yourself. He carries out your grief and takes it for what it is – the proof of all of your love. He carries it out in his eyes, in his hand that is calloused because of words he hesitates to speak and carries in his fist, hidden behind his back. Only now, hes thankful for this silence. You understand it better than anyone, he thinks.

The big block letters in all caps overweigh the desperate letter you wrote to yourself when you were thirteen. He shift beside you, HIS ARM IS AROUND YOUR SHOULDERS AND HE’S HUGGING YOU NOW and youre  a little hopeful now. Youre a little hopeful that your longing has a partner. That your teeth can still be capable of letting go. That your tongue is capable of saying “thank you,” muttered against the warmth of his chest and his too-weak left side that carries his heart flutters against itself and he’s glad for how weak his left side is. He’s glad he feels your words ten times over because of it.

Whatever this script is, whatever dialogues are written and edited and predetermined are either being fulfilled or being gone against. You don’t care. You have the time to read it later. You have the choice to never read it ever again.

He holds you. your words don’t muffle because he hears you.

He hears you, and this is not a compulsion. Its not written in the script, no, loving you has always meant breaking the rules, loving you has always meant going against the forces of the nature that shaped you. jean didn’t seem to care much for rules, anyway.

#jean kirstein x reader #jean kirstein #jean kirschstein x reader #aot #jean kirstein x you #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #jean kirschtein #marco bodt #sasha braus #connie springer

[ivymarquis]

Intro + Masterlist

Hi! I’m Ivy and I have been known to write things on occasion. 

27 | Sapphic | Lover of dark content

I have a penchant for writing about scary men (+ women!), and am not opposed to writing smutty and/or dark content. Because of that, this blog is strictly 18+.

Minors + ageless blogs will be blocked

Dark content **is** placed under a cut for those of you who don’t wish to see it!!

Requests are currently ||open for snippets|| (pls check ((rules)) and ((F-List)) before sending requests!

Masterlist Key:

⚠️= Dark | ✨= Smut | ❗❗= Angst | ⚪ = Consensual |  ⚫ = Dub Con | 🔴 = Non Con | ✔️ = Completed Series | ⭕ = WIP Series

**UTD as of 6/5/23; Check the “my writing” tag to see if Ive posted anything that hasn’t been added to the list yet :)

Kinktober 2023 masterlist here!

OVERWATCH

Unspecified male OW!character x Reader

Heat Stroke He was a furnace and a cuddle monster- a trait you’d greatly appreciated when you’d started sleeping (as in, literally sleeping) with him in the winter. Now? The temperatures were rising and his grip was borderline suffocating at night.

Gabriel Reyes/Reaper

Gabriel throat fucking Reader   ✨⚪ Free use throat fucking kink

Kinktober Day 6 (2018)  ✨⚪ Daddy | Corset

Kinktober Day 7 (2018) ✨⚫ Praise Kink | Aphrodisiacs

Kinktober Day 10 (2018)  ✨⚪ Wax Play | Hair Pulling

Incubus!Reaper Gabriel has something to tell you. Hopefully he doesn’t have a secret wife.

Gabriel Reyes vs 2-year-old toddler Gabriel underestimates the power of a nap

Daddy kink headcanon Tis what it says on the tin. Reyes’ reaction to their s/o having a daddy kink

Reaper teaching his S/O how to kiss Tis what it says on the tin

Moira O’Deorain

Kinktober Day 2 (2018)  ✨⚪ Medical Play | Begging

Kinktober Day 11 (2018)  ✨⚪ Aphyxiation | Object Insertion

Moira with an affectionate S/O Headcanons of Moira with an S/O who enjoys showing random affection

Looks Can Be Deceiving  ✨⚪ Moira thinks you’d look adorable squealing underneath her.

Birdy   ⚠️✨🔴 Moira’s in rut and has plans for you.

Daddy Part of your self-appointed job as Moira’s girlfriend was to annoy her on occasion.

Us  ❗❗ You can’t overlook this.

Chocolate Kisses  ✨⚪ You agree to go on a date with Moira

Problem Solving  ✨⚪ You take control when Moira gets too stressed out.

Jack Morrison/Soldier 76** ** F!Reader fics written prior to announcement of Jack’s sexuality

Daddy kink headcanon Tis what it says on the tin. Jack’s reaction to their s/o having a daddy kink

Brat Tamer!76  ✨⚪ You weren’t acting out because you’d missed him. Definitely

Sleeping Dogs Lie  ⚠️✨🔴 Jack just wants to make you happy

Movie Night  ✨⚪ Jack starts seeing a new mother and develops some new kinks as a result.

Hang Ups  ✨⚪ Jack moves past his hang ups.

Stealth  ⚠️✨🔴 You’re not nearly as stealthy as you think you are.

Cole Cassidy** ** Older fics refer to Jesse McCree, pre name change

Kinktober Day 1 (2018)  ✨⚪ Smiles/Laughter | Deep Throating

Demon!Hanzo x Werewolf!McCree x F! Reader  ✨⚫ You decide to summon a demon and there are some… unintended consequences

Nap Time It’s just a fact that boobs make the best pillows

Gratitude  ✨⚪ Jesse shows his gratitude to his sweetpea getting a tattoo themed after him

Welcome Home, Baby  ✨⚪ Jesse comes home

Daddy kink headcanon Tis what it says on the tin. Cassidy’s reaction to their s/o having a daddy kink

Trying for a baby with his wife headcanons Tis what it says on the tin

Genji Shimada

Late Bloomer (I) (II)  ✨⚪✔️ Genji’s precious beta is actually an omega- one whose heat hits her like a freight train.

Dragon!Genji x Reader  ✨⚪ You’re ready to carry your lover’s eggs

Bother  ✨⚪ You figured Genji wouldn’t care for a second if your cousin was visiting. As it turned out, he cared very much.

Stay  ✨⚪ Genji hasn’t been with anyone since his near death experience. Then you join blackwatch.

Playground You and Genji go to a playground

Kitten Play  ✨⚪ Being a well respected professional in your work life is fine and all, but there’s comfort in handing the reins over to someone else.

Genji w/ S/O who struggles with penetration  ✨⚪ Tis what it says on the tin

Idol Genji has his own way of wishing you good luck for your concerts- This has unintended consequences.

Hanzo Shimada

Demon!Hanzo x Werewolf!McCree x F! Reader  ✨⚫ You decide to summon a demon and there are some… unintended consequences

Daddy kink headcanon Tis what it says on the tin. Hanzo’s reaction to their s/o having a daddy kink

Sugar  ⚠️ You just got cold feet is all

Incorrigible  ✨⚪ You’re an incorrigible tease when you want to be.

Hanzo x Reader  ✨⚪ You let Hanzo tie you up like a thanksgiving turkey

Candy Hanzo has some concerns about all the reader's candy

Trying for a baby with his wife headcanons Tis what it says on the tin

Sombra

Kinktober Day 3 (2018)  ✨⚪ Sensory Deprivation | Edgeplay

Aleksandra Zaryanova

Zarya + Chubby!Reader Self love is important, but can be hard

Akande Ogundimu

Phone Etiquette Akande knows how to make a boring business call much more interesting.

See Something You Like? You notice when Akande starts timing his workouts to match with yours.

Wilhelm Reinhardt

Sugar Daddy!Reinhardt Headcanons of sugar daddy Reinhardt

Lucio Correia dos Santos

Trying for a baby with his wife headcanons Tis what it says on the tin

Far Cry 5

Jacob Seed

Apex Predator (I) ⚠️⭕ The Deputy has a secret, and Jacob makes it his mission to bring her to heel

What You Want  (I) (II) (III) ⚠️✨🔴»⚫ ✔️ Jacob learns the deputy is his mate and sets out to subdue her

Quality Over Quantity (I) (II)  ✨⚪✔️ Jacob ensures the continuation of the Chosen’s line

Happy  ✨⚪ She was content with her place in the middle of the pack. Then Jacob took notice of her.

All Good Things He's been sweet on her ever since she propositioned him back in Missouri

Better Late than Never Pushing 50, Jacob had figured years ago his dreams of a wife and kids weren’t happening

Unrequited ❗❗ Not sure I’ll ever actually finish this- Jacob is in love with the deputy, but marries one of the women in the cult after the deputy marries John

Kinktober Day 4 (2018) ✨⚪ Spanking | Spit Roasting

Kinktober Day 8 (2018)  ✨⚪ Hate Fucking/Angry Sex | Fisting

Illness The Deputy gets sick in the cages

Can’t Sleep Jacob's insomnia is not new- when the Reader can't sleep, he offers a potential solution

Good With Kids John gives commentary on Jacob's baby-handling skills

“You smell like wet dog” Fluffy one-off where Reader informs Jacob he needs a bath.

Love Language Tis what it says on the tin

Favorite Kinks Tis what it says on the tin

John Seed

Baptism of Blood  ⚠️ John finally has a willing soul to cleanse

Kinktober Day 5 (2018)  ⚠️✨⚪ Sadism/Masochism | Blood/Gore

Love Language Tis what it says on the tin

Favorite Kinks Tis what it says on the tin

Joseph Seed

Love Language Tis what it says on the tin

Favorite Kinks Tis what it says on the tin

Faith Seed

Love Language Tis what it says on the tin

Favorite Kinks Tis what it says on the tin

Eli Palmer

Kinktober Day 4 (2018) ✨⚪   Spanking | Spit Roasting

Kinktober Day 9 (2018)  ✨⚪ Titfucking | Lingerie

Call Of Duty

Simon Ghost Riley

Simon’s Spotify Playlist Don’t ask me for anyone else’s lol. He’s the only one who gets one.

Spoiled  ✨⚪ Spoiled the thought flashes across his head. Course it doesn’t help that he’s utterly whipped. He’ll give you anything you ask for just because you want it.

Bonded ❗❗ You and Simon are caught off guard during a mission

SS: Overstim Tis what it says on the tin

John Price

Blind Date John goes on a blind date. It goes well

John Soap MacTavish

Steel Magnolia Soap falls head over heels for the base’s fire breathing preceptor

Character Study: Honey

Kyle Gaz Garrick

Under My Skin Your situationship uncomplicates itself on a rainy night

König

SS: Pregnancy Risk Not only does König not care that it's not safe to finish inside- that's kinda the point.

Platonic Reader + 141

The B.A.G. Coalition You accidentally spill the beans on why Graves can’t get a date

#cod x reader #overwatch x reader #far cry 5 x reader #x reader #my writing

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Tamara Pietzke

Published: Feb 5, 2024

For six years I worked at a hospital that said all teenagers with gender dysphoria must be affirmed. I quit my job to blow the whistle.

I know from firsthand experience what hard times are. Though I had a happy childhood, raised as the middle child by working-class parents in Washington State, my mom died of ovarian cancer when I was 22. 

After that, my family fell apart. I felt lost and alone. 

I decided to become a therapist because I didn’t want anyone to go through what I had, feeling like no one on this planet cares about them. At least they can say their therapist does. 

I earned my master’s in social work from the University of Washington in 2012, and I have worked as a therapist for over a decade in the Puget Sound area. Most recently, I was employed by MultiCare, one of the largest hospital systems in the state. 

For the six years I was there, I worked with hundreds of clients. But in mid-January, I left my job because of what I will go on to describe.

The therapeutic relationship is a special one. We are the original “safe space,” where people are able to explore their darker feelings and painful experiences. The job of the therapist is to guide a patient to self-understanding and sound mental health. This is a process that requires careful assessment and time, not snap judgments and confirmation of a patient’s worldview.

But in the past year I noticed a concerning new trend in my field. I was getting the message from my supervisors that when a young person I was seeing expressed discomfort with their gender—the diagnostic term is gender dysphoria—I should throw out all my training. No matter the patient’s history or other mental health conditions that could be complicating the situation, I was simply to affirm that the patient was transgender, and even approve the start of a medical transition.

I believe this rise of “affirmative care” for young people with gender dysphoria challenges the very fundamentals of what therapy is supposed to provide. 

I am a 36-year-old single mother of three young kids all under the age of six. I am terrified of speaking out, but that fear pales in comparison to my strong belief that we can no longer medicalize youth and cause them potentially irreversible harm. The three patients I describe below explain why I am taking the risk of coming forward.

* * *

Last spring, I started seeing a new client, who at 13 years old had one of the most extreme and heartbreaking life stories I’ve ever heard. (For the sake of clarity, I am referring to all patients by their biological sex.)

My patient’s mother has bipolar disorder and was so abusive to my patient that the mother was given a restraining order. My patient was sexually assaulted by an older cousin, by one of her mother’s boyfriends, and also once at school by a classmate. Her diagnoses include depression, PTSD, anxiety, intermittent explosive disorder, and autism. She is being raised by her mother’s ex-boyfriend (not the one who assaulted her).

The year before I started seeing her, when she was 11, she was hospitalized for talking about committing suicide. Later that year, a pediatrician diagnosed her with gender dysphoria after she started to question her gender. The pediatrician referred her to Mary Bridge Children’s Gender Health Clinic, whose clinicians recommended she take medicine to suppress her periods and that she think about starting testosterone.

Mary Bridge, MultiCare’s pediatric hospital, runs the gender clinic for minors and employs nurses, social workers, dietitians, and endocrinologists, who provide gender-affirming care, which includes prescribing hormones to young patients who question their gender. In order to get that prescription, patients first need a recommendation letter from a therapist. Because Mary Bridge is a part of MultiCare, their patients were often referred to therapists like me who were in their system.

In an April 2022 blog post, a Mary Bridge social worker wrote that the gender clinic’s referrals increased from less than five a month in 2019 to more than 35 a month in 2022. In May 2022, the clinic received a $100,000 donation from Patient-Centered Outcomes Research Institute “to study health care disparities” in transgender youth.

The clinic operates in Washington, one of the states with some of the most lenient legislation on gender transition for youth. In May 2023, the state legislature passed a law guaranteeing that youth seeking a medical gender transition can stay at Washington shelters—and the shelters are not required to notify their parents.

Because of my patient’s autism, it was difficult for us to engage in introspective conversations. During our first visit, she came over to my desk to show me extremely sadistic and graphic pornographic videos on her phone. She stood next to me, hunched over, hyper-fixated on the videos as she rocked back and forth. She told me during one session that she watched horror and porn movies growing up because they were the only ones available in her house.

She showed up to our therapy sessions in disheveled, loose-fitting clothes, her hair greasy, her eyes staring down at the ground, her face covered by a Covid mask almost like a protective layer. She went by a boy’s name, but she never raised gender dysphoria with me directly—though one time she told me she would get mad at the sound of her own voice because “it sounds too girly.” When I asked her how she felt about an upcoming appointment at the gender clinic, she told me she didn’t know she had one.

In between scrolling through videos on her phone, she told me how she cried every night in bed and felt “insane.” She described a time when she was eight years old and her mother nearly killed her sister. She remembered her mother being taken away. At times, she would “age-regress,” she told me, by watching Teletubbies and sucking on pacifiers.

When she started seeing me, she had recently threatened to “blow up the school,” which resulted in her expulsion.

I knew I couldn’t solve all of her problems, or make her feel better in just a few therapy sessions. My initial goal was to make her feel comfortable opening up to me, to make the therapy room a place where she was heard and felt safe. I also wanted to try to protect her from falling prey to outside influences from social media, her peers, or even the adults in her life.

With a patient like this, with so many intersecting and overwhelming problems, and with such a tragic history of abuse, it took our first three sessions to get her feeling more comfortable to even talk to me, and to understand the dimensions of her problems. But when I called her guardian last fall to schedule a fourth appointment, he asked me to write her a letter of recommendation for cross-sex hormone treatment. That is, at age 13, she was to start taking testosterone. Such a letter from me begins the process of medical transition for a patient.

In Washington State, that’s all it takes—a few visits with a therapist and a letter, often written using a template provided by one’s superiors—for minors to undergo the irreversible treatments that patients must take for a lifetime.

I was scared for this patient. She had so many overlapping problems that needed addressing it seemed like malpractice to abruptly begin her on a medical gender transition that could quickly produce permanent changes.

The MultiCare recommendation letter Tamara was given for approving the medical treatment of minors with gender dysphoria. I emailed a program manager in my department at MultiCare and outlined my concerns. She wrote back that my client’s trauma history has no bearing on whether or not she should receive hormone treatment.

“There is not valid, evidenced-based, peer-reviewed research that would indicate that gender dysphoria arises from anything other than gender (including trauma, autism, other mental health conditions, etc.),” she wrote.

She also warned that “there is the potential in causing harm to a client’s mental health when restricting access to gender-affirming care” and suggested I “examine [my] personal beliefs and biases about trans kids.”

When Tamara outlined her concerns about giving a patient testosterone to her manager at MultiCare, she was told to “examine your personal beliefs and biases about trans kids.” She then reported me to MultiCare’s risk management team, who removed my client from my care and placed her with a new therapist.

A risk manager’s job is to minimize the hospital’s liability, but in my case, they deemed that my concerns posed a greater risk to my client than giving her a life-altering procedure with no proven long-term benefit.

I shouldn’t have been surprised by this. Just a few months earlier, in September of last year, I was one of over 100 therapists and behavioral specialists at the MultiCare hospital system required to attend mandatory training on “gender-affirming care.”

As hard as it is to believe given my work, I hadn’t heard about gender-affirming care before that moment. I needed to know more. So each night in the week leading up to the training, I searched online for information about gender-affirming care. After putting my kids to bed, I sat glued to my computer screen, losing sleep, horrified at what I found.

I discovered that neither puberty blockers nor cross-sex hormones (testosterone or estrogen) were approved by the Food and Drug Administration as a treatment for gender dysphoria. In fact, prescribing these treatments to kids can have drastic side effects, including infertility, loss of sexual function, increased risk of heart attack, stroke, cardiovascular disease, cancer, bone density problems, blood clots, liver toxicity, cataracts, brain swelling, and even death.

While gender clinicians claim hormonal treatment improved their patients’ psychological health, the studies on this are few and highly disputed.

I found that those experiencing gender dysphoria are up to six times more likely to also be autistic, and they are also more likely to suffer from schizophrenia, trauma, and abuse.

The research also implies that the dramatic rise in these diagnoses across the West likely have a strong element of social contagion. In children ages 6 to 17, there was a 70 percent increase in diagnoses of gender dysphoria in the U.S. from 2020 to 2021. In Sweden there was a 1,500 percent increase in these diagnoses among girls 13–17 from 2008 to 2018.

Yet, countries that were once the pioneers of gender transition medicine are now starting to backtrack. In 2022, England announced it will close its only gender clinic after an investigation uncovered subpar medical care, including findings that some patients were rushed toward gender transitions. Sweden and Finland undertook comprehensive analyses of the state of gender medicine and recommended restrictions on transition of minors.

I decided—though it was potentially dangerous to my career and to me—to ask questions about the findings I discovered.

The training I attended laid out an affirming model of gender care—from pronouns and “social transition” to hormone treatments and surgical intervention. In order for children to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria, the training stated, patients must meet six of eight characteristics, ranging from “a strong desire/insistence of being another gender” to “strong preference for cross-gender toys and games.”

Tamara and her MultiCare colleagues were trained to diagnose gender dysphoria among their young patients when they met six of the eight above characteristics. It was made abundantly clear to all in attendance that these recommendations were “best practice” at MultiCare, and that the hospital would not tolerate anything less.

When the leader of the training brought up hormone treatments, I shakily tapped the unmute button on Zoom and asked why 70 to 80 percent of female adolescents diagnosed with gender dysphoria have prior mental health diagnoses.

She flashed a look of disgust as she warned me against spreading “misinformation on trans kids.” Soon the chat box started blowing up with comments directed at me. One colleague stated it was not “appropriate to bring politics into this” and another wrote that I was “demonstrating a hostility toward trans folks which is [a] direct violation of the Hippocratic Oath,” and recommended I “seek additional support and information so as not to harm trans clients.”

In the training, gender-affirming treatment is presented as “suicide prevention.” As soon as I closed my laptop, I burst into tears. I care so deeply about my clients that even thinking about this now makes me cry. I couldn’t understand how my colleagues, who are supposed to be my teammates, could be so quick to villainize me. I also wondered if maybe my colleagues were right, and if I had gone insane.

Later, my boss reached out to me and told me it was “inappropriate” of me to raise these questions, telling me that a training session was not the proper forum. When I tried to present the evidence that caused me concern—the lack of long-term studies, the devastating side effects—she told me she didn’t have time to read it.

“I am speaking out because nothing will change unless people like me blow the whistle,” Tamara writes. “I am desperate to help my patients.” In retrospect, this ideology had been growing in power for a long time.

I remember in 2019 seeing signs of how gender dysphoria arose among many of my most vulnerable female clients, all of whom struggled with previous psychological problems.

In 2019, I started seeing a 16-year-old client after her pediatrician referred her to me for anxiety, depression, and ADHD. When I first met her, she had long blonde hair covering her eyes, to the point you could barely see her face. It was like she was going through the world trying to be invisible.

In 2020, during the pandemic, she told me she had started reading online a lot about gender, and said she started feeling like she wasn’t a girl anymore.

Around this time, her anxiety became so debilitating she couldn’t leave her house—not even to go to school. After taking a year off school during the pandemic, she enrolled in an alternative school for kids struggling with mental health. I was relieved that she was making friends for the first time, and seemed to be feeling a lot better.

Then she started using they/he pronouns, identified as pansexual, and replaced the skirts and fishnet stockings she often wore with disheveled and baggy clothes. Her long hair became shorter and shorter. She started wearing a binder to flatten her breasts. She tried out a few different names before settling on one that’s gender neutral.

The official diagnosis I gave her was “adjustment disorder”—an umbrella term often applied to young people who are having a hard time coping with difficult and stressful circumstances. It’s the type of diagnosis that doesn’t follow a child forever—it implies that mental distress among kids is often transient.

She came out as transgender to her family in 2021. Her mother was supportive, but her dad wasn’t. Regardless, she went to her pediatrician seeking a referral to a gender clinic.

In 2022, she went to Mary Bridge Children’s Gender Health Clinic for the first time, where the clinicians informed her and her parents that if she didn’t receive hormone replacement therapy, she could be “at increased risk for anxiety, depression, and worsening of mental health/psychological trauma,” according to her patient records. Her dad refused to start his daughter on testosterone, and so all the clinic could do was prescribe birth control to stop her period due to her “menstrual dysphoria,” or distress over getting her period. Which is something I thought all teenage girls experienced.

Five months later, she swallowed a bottle of pills and her mother had to rush her to the emergency room.

By early 2023, my client logged on to our weekly session, which we started doing by Zoom, and she told me she identified as a “wounded male dog.” She explained to me that this was her “xenogender,” a concept she had discovered online, which references gender identities that go “beyond the human understanding of gender.” She said she felt she didn’t have all of the right appendages, and that she wanted to start wearing ears and a tail to truly feel like herself.

I was stunned. All I could do was silently nod along.

After the session, I emailed my colleagues looking for advice. “I want to be accepting and inclusive and all of that,” I wrote, but “I guess I just don’t understand at what point, if ever, a person’s gender identity is indicative of a bigger issue.”

I asked them: “Is there ever a time where acceptance of a person’s identity isn’t freely given?”

The consensus from my colleagues was that it wasn’t a big deal.

“It sounds like this isn’t something that’s ‘broken,’ ” one colleague wrote me back, “so let’s not try to ‘fix’ it.”

“If someone told me they use a litterbox instead of a toilet and they were happy with it and it’s part of their life that brings them fulfillment, then great!” she continued. “I might think it’s weird, but then again, not my life.”

After learning that one of Tamara’s patients identified as “a wounded male dog,” a colleague replied: “If someone told me they use a litterbox instead of a toilet and they were happy with it and it’s part of their life that brings them fulfillment, then great!” I was baffled and alarmed by her unquestioning affirmation. At what point does a change in identity represent a mental health concern, and not something to be celebrated and affirmed? Fortunately, my client never brought up her “xenogender” again. She also isn’t on testosterone due to her father’s disapproval. So I kept these thoughts to myself, and ultimately, in order to keep my job, I let it go.

Another female patient, who transitioned as a teen, serves as a warning of what happens when we passively accept the idea that gender transition will entirely resolve a patient’s mental health issues.

This client, who I started seeing in 2022, is now 23 and rarely leaves the house, spends most of the day in bed playing video games, and envisions no path to working or functioning in the outside world due to a variety of mental health problems. In 2016, this patient was diagnosed with autism, anxiety, and gender dysphoria. Later the diagnoses grew to include depression, Tourette syndrome, and a conversion disorder. In 2018, at age 17, the Mary Bridge Gender Health Clinic prescribed testosterone, despite the fact that this patient is diabetic and one of the hormone’s side effects is that it might increase insulin resistance. The patient’s mother, who has another transgender child, strongly encouraged it.

This patient now has a wispy mustache and a deepened voice, but does not pass as male. It turns out that testosterone, which will be prescribed for life, did not relieve the patient’s other mental illnesses.

My biggest fear about the gender-affirming practices my industry has blindly adopted is that they are causing irreversible damage to our clients. Especially as they are vulnerable people who come to us at their lowest moments in life, and who entrust us with their health and safety. And yet, instead of treating them as we would patients with any other mental health condition, we have been instructed—and even bullied—to abandon our professional judgment and training in favor of unquestioning affirmation.

I am speaking out because nothing will change unless people like me—who know the risks of medicalizing troubled young people—blow the whistle. I am desperate to help my patients.

And I believe, if I don’t speak out, I will have betrayed them.

--

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/26895269.2022.2100644

--

Amidst the scandal, Mary Bridge Children's has deleted the above blog post by self-professed "they/them," Aytch Denaro. However, the internet doesn't forget.

#Tamara Pietzke #Jamie Reed #whistleblower #medical malpractice #medical transition #medical corruption #gender dysphoria #gender ideology #queer theory #gender affirming care #gender affirming healthcare #gender affirmation #mental health #mental health issues #mental illness #gender cult #genderwang #religion is a mental illness

[neil-perrys-suicidal-tendencies]

I'm in my 2nd self care era in the past four years

( Today is day 3 and I'm going strong )

I didn't wait for the right time, it started past 12 am because it just did and here are somethings I've observed

1. I feel like doing things again ( reading, i reordered my bookshelf )

2. I like doing tiny things to take care of myself ( Woke up an extra half an hour early to just sit and drink two cups of water )

3. I feel like moving around and enjoying fresh air.

4. I don't want to isolate myself anymore

5. I have started to disconnect myself from my suffering and will not be using it as a source of defining myself.

6. I'm bashing on my inner monologue if it says something mean.

7. I'm hopeful because Emily Dickinson said that hope never stops at all and it's not going to kill me if I fall back in old ways, I can deal with that but if I do change, it's going to improve every sphere of my life which makes me take the risk of being hopeful.

8. I'm still scared of falling in the spiral of self-pity again so I'm figuring out ways to make me love this inner comfort instead of chasing some 'profound misery'. ( just to clarify - this feels much more liberating than self-pity but I need to know how to get myself up if I ever stumble again )

9. My insecurities, anxiety and the elements of my misery are still very much there. I am not running away from them, just hoping to make lifestyle changes that I can control.

10. It feels good to see oneself as a vessel filled with the potential of happiness rather than a lost cause drowning in the mundane standardized version of life.

11. I still love sad media and actively consume it, what I'm starting to dislike is self-depreciation. I'm starting to develop a healthy relationship with sadness.

12. I want good things to happen to me instead of wishing for the worst because that's easy to expect.

All this and it just started out with the thought of 'I cannot let myself rot in the cages that I hammered with my own conscience'.

If anyone is waiting for the right time - it comes with a simple thought.

Looking at it, nothing major has changed at all, I'm just making this a kinder place for myself.

I have an exam today and I really, really hope this doesn't send all of the progress crashing down.

I'm not trying to negate anyone's struggles but I'm starting to believe healing begins with a choice.

( Not talking about diagnosed mental illnesses here- they need medicine, therapy and loads of self acceptance)

Growth is not liniear and I know that each one of you out there wants to try. So to whoever reading this - I hope your life makes it worth living. :)

#kindness #kind notes to self #self help #healing #lets not rot #self care #casual optimism