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theladyofdeath · 9 months

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Lady Death's Lover {I}

Lady Death's Lover Masterlist & Summary

19th Century Period AU Nesta x Cassian Secret Affair / Enemies to Lovers / Forbidden Romance Fanfiction / Characters from Sarah J Maas / ACOTAR Based on a prompt sent in by anonymous

A/N: Please be sure to read the trigger warnings before reading the chapter or any chapter from this story! I hope you all enjoy reading these chapters as much as I've enjoyed writing them. Writing this fic has been a coping mechanism of sorts. Please like, drop a comment, or reblog if you wish. x

TW: marital abuse, sexual content, language, depression

This story is for readers 18+. Mature readers only. Content should not be read by anyone under 18.

My Dearest Sister,

I must apologize for Feyre’s absence in this letter. She is angry with you after your previous words and says that Isaac Hale is more of a man than you will ever realize. Now, I know nothing of their relationship so I cannot chime in, but even with her in a bitter state, I wanted to reply to your kind and loving words.

I’m so pleased that your life with Tomas is so grand. It’s like a fairytale, one we read of when we were young. You’re like Cinderella, saved by a prince that could give you the world. I can only hope that I, myself, find such a happy ending one day.

You were right in your speculations. Greysen and I are no more. He’s promised to another, in fact. They shall be married this season and although I understand - she is a beautiful lady of society, you see - I have still cried myself to sleep each night for a month. There is no need for you to come protect my honor. He has made his choice and it is one that I must live with. By the Mother’s grace, I shall move on.

Do you think that there is a time when I can come visit you? A ball sounds so exciting. What are they like? I imagine lovely treats and drinks and magnificent dresses. Oh, and lovely music where couples dance until wee hours of the morning. I’ve been practicing my dances, although I have very few opportunities to use such knowledge around here. I hope to attend events this season to show my newfound skills. My favorite is the waltz. How romantic!

Tell Tomas we say hello. Feyre, although angry, sends her love. So does father. We miss you, dear sister. I hope to hear from you soon.

Your sister,

Elain

Nesta

“Undress.”

I notice my husband comes into my room but he waits ten minutes before saying a word. Of course, the first word he says is demeaning, but I do not have the right to refuse him. Even so, I pretend to read my book for another moment, although there is no use in reading. The air is too thick when he is present to read. Even my escape becomes nonexistent.

“Nesta.”

My name on his lips feels wrong. There is no awe in it, no love. There is only a hint of annoyance. Reluctantly, I place a ribbon between the pages of my novel and close it shut.

“Apologies, my lord,” I say. I hardly recognize my own voice. “It is hard to put down a story so captivating.”

“Ah,” he says, chuckling, and the sound sends a shiver down my spine. “I should have known, my headstrong wife. Come. Undress.”

I am only in my nightdress, and it hardly hides a thing, but I don’t say as much. What’s one more layer gone?

When I stand, I feel I am no longer in my body. I feel like an outsider, watching myself from a distance with an empty space where my heart should be. I hardly notice his eyes on me as I slip my shift off my shoulders and let it fall to the floor. I stand before him, bare and unfeeling, glad he is only looking and has yet to touch.

I know the peace will not last long.

He approaches me.

As he begins stripping off his shirt and trousers, I lay back down in the center of my bed and wait. I find a spot on my ceiling, a spot next to the golden trim where it seems a spark flew too high out of the fireplace. I focus on the spot, then my breathing, and as my husband crawls on top of me, I force my body to relax.

As he pushes into me, that spot becomes my anchor.

I did not want to marry Tomas. The truth of the matter is that I would have married anyone, and I probably would have hated every man pushed in my direction just as much as I hate Tomas. I have yet to meet a man worthy of anything other than disdain that has a title to his name and although me marrying a man with a title, with money, was necessary, I know that I would’ve been happier marrying a man that had absolutely nothing.

I’ll never know.

We were wealthy once, when my mother was alive, but after her death everything seemed to fall apart. My father made a series of poor business decisions and it left us with nothing. It wasn’t until Lord Tomas Mandray visited our village for a weekend last Autumn that our luck changed. We were in the right place at the right time and he took notice of me. My father negotiated our marriage and that was that.

I had no say in the matter. Yet, I would stand by every time, would let it happen all over again if given the chance. My sisters are cared for, thanks to my husband’s generosity. As is my father, but I could care less about his happiness, if I may be so blunt. He has never given a damn about me. Why should I feel any differently?

Above me, Tomas grunts. It’s a horrible noise, recurring, until his body grows tense, releasing inside of me. I keep still. The stiller I am, the quicker this ends.

He collapses on top of me and catches his breath. I lay there, flat on the mattress until he rolls off of me and rises from the bed, redressing. I do not move until he’s gathered all of his garments and walks toward the door, his exit.

“I’m going to the club,” he says, and that’s it. The door shuts behind him and I’m being enveloped in the silence. For a moment, I cannot move. I continue to stare at the spot on the ceiling, its grand display becoming a comfort to me. I let Tomas’ release drip out of me, unsure if I want to become with child or not. A child would be a blessing, an heir, my duty, but it would also be Tomas’s, and there is a part of me, a selfish part of me, that does not want to progress his bloodline. Perhaps a man as brutal, as demeaning, as execrable as him should not reproduce. I know that children are not their parents, but I also know Tomas.

The air suddenly becomes brisk against my bare skin but I can’t bring myself to move. When I move, I’ll have to get up, I’ll have to clean myself, I’ll have to redress and pretend as if everything is fine.

Nothing is fine. Fine is irrelevant.

The spot on the ceiling begins to blur and I cannot tell if I am crying or my eyes have simply given up. Either way, I feel nothing. I’m not certain how long I lay there, how many minutes or hours pass, but the sky outside remains dark as time goes by, dismissing my emptiness into nothingness. I pray to the gods, the Mother, the Cauldron, anyone who is willing to listen to give me an ounce of strength.

I’ve no clue what time it is by the time I finally convince my feet to move, finally convince myself to rise and cleanse the remnants of my husband’s seed from my body. When I lay down again, I close my eyes and pretend to fall asleep until it finally claims me.

~.~.~

Cassian

The numbers are not where they should be.

I’ve gone over this month’s pages twice now and I feel a sense of panic rising up inside of me so I pour a drink, then another, until the numbers no longer scare the shit out of me. I’ve only started feeling the joyous buzz when the door to my study bursts open and my two closest friends, my brothers, stride through the door, unwelcomed and not caring.

“Get up!” Rhysand says, grinning in that way that I equally love and hate. The grin that says something terrifying is about to take place. “We’re going out.”

“I don’t want to go out.”

“You work too much,” Azriel mutters, plopping down on a settee against a far wall. “And that’s coming from me.”

“I’m trying to build an empire to pass onto my children,” I defend.

Rhysand barks a laugh. “What children? First you need a wife and you won’t find that sitting on your ass alone every night.”

“It’s late,” I say, but it’s more of a groan as I let my face fall into my hands.

“It’s not even midnight,” Rhysand mutters, shaking his head. “What happened to you? You used to be the fun one.”

“Yes, well, I’m nearly thirty. The fun had to end eventually.”

Azriel whistles. “Someone’s feeling morbid.”

“Hardly made a profit this month.” My words are muffled by my hands. “I think I’m going to have to raise the rents. Again. It’s been a shitty spring in the fields. Hardly anything’s been produced.”

Rhysand sighs, sitting next to Azriel and tossing an arm around his shoulder. “You’ve some money set aside, yeah? Look to invest. My investments bring in far more money than anything else.”

My hands fall from my face and land on top of the papers that are scattered across my desk. I nearly knock over a candle. “I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Sounds like a lot of work that I’m not prepared for.”

“Yeah, work that’ll pay off. Quickly.” Rhysand jostles Azriel’s shoulder.

Azriel sighs. “Are we getting a drink? I need a drink.”

“You two go,” I say, attempting to straighten the scattered papers. “I’ll see you tomorrow for dinner.”

“Know who you should meet with?” Rhysand asks, paying absolutely no attention to the words coming out of the rest of us. “Tomas Mandray. I hear he’s gotten a hold of a few profitable mines up north. Always looking for investors. Easy money.”

Just the name of that asshole makes me feel sick. “That guy’s a prick.”

“Yeah, a successful prick,” Rhysand says, and Azriel snorts. “You meet with him once a year and get a good payout every month. Surely that’s worth it.”

“Leave him alone,” Azriel says, eyeing the half-full bottle of brandy on my desk lovingly. “If he wishes to dismiss solid business opportunities, let him.”

“So you agree with Rhys?” I ask, picking up my empty glass only to realize there’s nothing in it.

Azriel’s lips thin. “I don’t care what you do, as long as it involves me getting a drink at some point.”

I lift a brow. “Something the matter? Seem agitated.”

“Az is always agitated.” Rhysand claps Azriel on the shoulder yet again, to his dismay. “I’ll set up a meeting. Go if you want, don’t if you want to keep crunching numbers until you fall asleep on your desk. Come. Az needs to be drunk.”

Azriel didn’t deny it. I suddenly feel a sense of selfishness, worried I’ve missed what’s been going on in both of their lives. Clearly something’s wrong with Azriel, something I should know about but don’t. I’ve been too engrossed in this shit. Abruptly, I stand up from my desk and try to smooth out my rumpled shirt. “Fine. Let’s go.”

Rhysand frowns and Azriel lifts a brow. The former asks, “With you looking like that?”

I sit back down. “You’re right. I should stay here.”

With a curse, Azriel stands and hurries out the door, leaving Rhysand and I alone.

“What’s wrong with him?” I ask, quietly.

Rhysand shrugs. “Won’t say, but I know it’s bad. He needs us. He needs entertainment.”

I sigh, fully aware I’m losing this battle. I realize that his carefree attitude tonight has been for Azriel’s benefit alone. I open my mouth, but he cuts me off.

“I know Mandray is the last person you want to spend your time with, but he’s honorable. In business, anyway. It’ll be worth it. I mean it. I’ll call for a meeting.”

I stare at my brother for a long time, knowing he’s the only person in this city more stubborn than myself. “Fine, but if this comes back to bite me in the ass, you’re paying for it.”

His grin tells me that he doesn’t give a damn. “It won’t. I’ve been doing business with him for years.”

Azriel comes back into the room at full speed, tossing a jacket and hat on my desk. “It’ll cover your wrinkled shirt. Come now.”

This time, when he rushes out of the room, Rhysand and I are following him. I’m not certain where we’ll find ourselves, in an opium den or brothel or a common gentleman’s club, but I must admit that as we walk out of my townhouse, into the cool night air, I feel a little bit lighter.

If there is one thing I can count on, it is the company of the two men before me. We’ve known each other since we were children and they are the closest thing I’ve ever had to a family.

My father was a man of nobility but my mother worked in a brothel. Being his only son, my father recognized me as his heir but never named my mother. I used to think it was a curse but after my father’s death I saw it for the blessing it was. I don’t know if I’ll ever marry, but if I do…and if I have children of my own…they will be well cared for.

Financially. Morally. All of it.

When that day comes, if it comes, I’ll consider myself a lucky man. But, for now, I follow Rhysand and Azriel from one side of town to the other to be the fun, young bastard I once was.

I’ll need it, especially if I’m getting into business with Lord Tomas Mandray.

#fanfic #acotar #fanfiction #nessian #acowar #acomaf #sjm #period au #19th century au #nesta #cassian #nesta x cassian #cassian x nesta

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enbysiriusblack · 1 year

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"Remus! Where art thou?"

James turned the corner, practically running from Pinch, and finally spotted Remus sitting at a secluded table in the corner. With Lily and Regulus. Both of them. At once.

James froze.

"Prongs? What are you doing?" Remus asked, looking up from a book.

"I'm meant to pick you up", he replied, still frozen in place.

"Right. Give me a second."

Remus started packing up, James not making any movement.

"Why are you picking him up, Potter?" Lily asked, James' eyes widening as she addressed him.

"Um... marauder business."

"What does that even mean?" Regulus chimed in.

The two had turned towards him and James gulped, ran a hand through his hair and plastered a wide grin onto his face. He could do this.

"Top secret marauder business only. But since you two are so obsessed with me, I'll let you in. We're throwing a party, outside in the greenhouses this weekend. You should come, if you don't I'll have to find someone else to snog that night. Maybe Hestia Jones. She's pretty hot, right? And she's got a crush on me, but who doesn't? What are you lot reading? Merlin, is that a textbook. I've practically forgotten what those look like, I mean I do get top marks without studying for a single second. I beat you in the last transfiguration test, right Evans?"

"You're the biggest prat I've ever had the misfortune to meet."

"Oh please, Evans, you blush whenever you look at me."

"Pig."

"Reggie?" James turned to, "Coming to the party, then?"

"Not on your life, Potter. I'd rather kill myself."

Remus grabbed James by the shoulder, "Come on, you idiot."

As they walked away, James took Remus' books to carry for him.

"You sounded like a right prick there, Prongs."

James groaned, "I know! I panicked and now I've got to plan some party! Maybe I should ask Maa and Pitā for help."

James turned to Remus, "How'd the studying go?"

"Still feel like I'm gonna fail this test, I'm so shit at potions!"

James wrapped an arm round his shoulder, "Ah, you'll do great! Smartest person I know. Besides, you do so well in everything else, it sorta levels itself out. If it'll make you feel better, you can write to Pita about it, he'll gladly answer all your questions."

"Thanks, Prongs."

"I love you, mate." James pulled Remus down slightly and kissed his cheek.

As they passed the Pinch's desk, James smiled at her, "Hello Miss, good day today?"

"Nice to see you again, James. My day's going slendid."

"Good to hear!"

Remus sighed as the two continued walking, "It's a shame Lily and Regulus don't get to see you when you're not talking to them, you're a complete git with them but like, the sweetest person ever the rest of the time."

James thought about it for a moment, "maybe it's just nerves or something... do you think I should try felix felicis? not while I'm like, asking them out or anything but just to give me a confidence boost to act normal around them."

"You realise you constantly act like the average person on felix felicis? I dread to think what it'd do to you", Remus grimaced, "just try dope."

"Do you not dread what cannabis would do to me too?"

Remus shrugged, "I do. But you're one of the most stubborn people I know, and it's better than you stealing from Sluggie to make liquid luck and gaining double your usual confidence and cockiness."

"Then let us partake in the smoking of illegal substances, dear Moony!"

#the study club and jegulily and moonchaser friendship <33 #tw. drugs #tw. mention of drugs #marauders era #marauders #james potter #remus lupin #jegulily #moonchaser friendship #my writing

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daisychains111 · 20 days

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live "tweet" books with me (via the Goodreads progress bar) pt. 5 A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas

(the first two books plus Frost and Starlight can be found in part 4/4.5)

Alis and Lucian don't believe her "I was a prisoner at night court" BS for one second, and I love that for them

I'm gonna miss Alis...I love her 😭😭

I'm a very enthusiastic Lucian and Elaine fan...I want them to work, even if I know they won't

I'm also an AVID Cassian and Nesta fan....SWOON

once again declaring my absolute distaste of using males, females, and "my mate"

"oversized bat who throws temper tantrums" Nesta is an icon

"Eventually, Mor and Nesta are gonna be besties....I can feel it in my soul

would love for feyre and Nesta to finish their sister heart-to-heart

Alis better be alive somewhere bc istg if Sarah killed that sweet lady I'll riot. also, Tarquin needs to get the stick out of his ass

hehe, Nesta's worried about Cassian

BOOO HISSSSS TAMLIN

literally just fuck him, derogatory

see you used man one time and it was grand then you had to go and correct yourself...bitch ass omagaverse simp

Nesta verbally annihilating Tamlin is my new favorite thing

I'm quickly becoming Nesta's biggest fan

feyre you really just showed every single one of your cards.... those old bastards totally deserved it tho so good on you

girl, you're 20 and married...literally stfu

WOOAAHHH AFFAIR BABY LUCIAN

Nesta doesn't give two shits about the high lord title. she'll tell you to stfu if she feels like it

hehe feyre making fun of Nesta for Cassian will never not be hilarious

HA scary overgrown bat men scared of Nesta

I do not believe that Jurian is on their side, lying until proven not a jerk...also FUCK TAMLIN

you better knock it off with this Mor and Cassian tension...gross

good riddance Ianthe you bitch

not you genuinely making me feel sad about the surial....brutal

absolutely not...Mor and feyre will not be fighting about this...I refuse

awwww Amren and the summer court guy (varian)....cutie pop

SARAH IF YOU HURT SWEET ELAIN I WILL MAIM YOU

damn...if tamlin dies rn trying to redeem himself rn, I just might have to forgive him for being a fuckass

hehe sister hug

hehe elain and azriel

how I didn't realize Mor liked girl is absolutely beyond me...my gaydar is EXTREMELY lacking bc fucking duh

awwww they're holding hanndddsssss

if any one of them dies I'm gonna kill you

if Nesta kisses Cassian bc she thinks they're gonna die I'll forgive Sarah of all her sins

YUUUHH FATHER DEAREST FOR THE ABSOLUTE WIN

once again Nesta saying fuck you and your title I do as I please...icon

AMREN WTF

YAY KISSING WHEN WE THINK WERE GONNA DIE...you're not forgiven tho, not til they both live

YES ELAIN YUUUHHH

goddammit Amern 😭😭

I'm like 80% sure that Rhys doesn't actually die BUT ISTG IF HE DIES RN

AYAY RHYS STAYS ALIVE AND YAY AMREN IS NOT GONE AND YAY

shout out to Tamlin...you're officially redeemed

rip the Tamlin and Lucian bromance

(Afterthought in post-production, WTF happened to Alis. She just disappeared from the planet and I'm not amused.)

I'm starting Silver Flames tomorrow so stay tuned for then hehe (even though I literally should just do my how instead of reading lol)

#acotar #a court of wings and ruin #feyre archeron #rhysand #feyre x rhysand #elain acotar #elain x azriel #nesta archeron #nesta x cassian #goodreads #live tweeting #a court of fey and flowers #a court of silver flames #a court of mist and fury #a court of thorns and roses #cassian #morrigan acotar #azriel shadowsinger #amren acotar

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bookofmirth · 11 months

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The more I think about the Feysand pregnancy arc in acosf the more annoyed I get. It's not about them wanting a child, it's about the plotholes and all the made up bs that resulted in this totally unnecessary drama.

So the main issue was that the baby had wings despite being quarter Illyrian because Feyre shapeshifted during their sexy time. But in acomaf when she starts to learn how to fly, she shapefshifts her wings based on the batboys wings - how in the earth did she alter her whole anatomy to be of an Illyrian woman?? If the pelvis was an issue Rhys probably knew (and Feyre too apparently if she changed herself), why didn't they discussed it beforehand like responsible adults? They were actively trying for a baby at that point, why did noone think about this could be an issue (even if the baby is only quarter Illyrian)? Rhys could have said something like 'hey darling, you know there are risks if the baby has wings since you don't have the anatomy of Illyrian women, maybe we should cut it out with the wingsex for a while'? For me, this is the biggest plothole in the whole narrative of this arc.

You tell me that in a world where they could heal Azriel who had a poisoned arrow shot right in his heart, regrow Cassian's wings that were shredded to pieces, heal Cassian from a would that was so deep his guts were hanging out, they could never in their 20.000+ year history perform a successful C-section? How is this even justified?

Feysand having a baby at a time when their continent is on the verge of war again combined with their stupid bargain results in two things: They either put themselves in the backburner and sit out every conflict for the next at least 18 years which would be interesting since they are High Lord and High Lady, or they risk their kid being orphaned.... Again, like...... ???

The whole birth drama totally undermined the fact that Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie made actual history (esp. Gwyn and Emerie!). They won the Blood Rite and everyone was like 'oh well, AnYwAyy the BABY'. Please...

I don't even want to mention how Rhys dealt with this whole situation and then blamed it on Nesta when it blew up in his face, I think that was discussed a lot

Whew sorry for this rant, it's just the obvious and unnecessary bs-ness of this arc annoys me so much. Feysand just could have had their baby in piece, or at least sjm could have made up some fake magic-science to justify things better, because for me it really did not hit the spot.

What are your thoughts on this?

Absolutely agree with all of this!

I feel like "they were stupid" isn't a good excuse to fix the plot holes in what sjm worked really hard to show was a communicative, equal partnership/romance.

The way the fandom was STRESSING over Cassian's wings post-acomaf though, I laugh at us now. As if Miss Sarah J "handwaves it away" Maas was actually going to have him suffer long-term effects from that.

IMO, the entire pregnancy plot was SJM's way of creating reconciliation between Nesta and Feyre. That's it. Nesta saving Feyre (and by extension Rhys and Nyx) sidestepped any of the tough conversations that needed to be hand. It was so inorganic to... everything we know about Rhys, and Feyre, the IC, the magic of the world, it was inconsistent with what other characters have been through physically. But hey! It made Feyre and Nesta feel better about all the years of conflict and resentment, so whatever.

Okay and the bargain lmaooooo I argued back when acofas came out that the death bargain wasn't a big deal. I was like nah, it wasn't literal. But wow, what a way to inorganically sideline your former main characters in order to give your new main character an excuse to take center stage. Maybe if sjm hadn't made everyone so freaking overpowered all the time, then other characters besides Rhys (and now Feyre) would be able to help solve problems. But noooooo we gotta have an excuse for Rhys and Feyre to sit on their hands because otherwise, they are just Too Strong, the Strongest Ever, and because the magic is so freaking vague, now we need an excuse for Rhys to not be able to wave his hand and make problems go away like bits of lint.

I do wish that Feyre could have had a baby in peace, to not stress, to not be in danger, and most importantly, for her dumbass mate to have NOT kept that information from her. Feyre had been through enough already, just for sjm to be like "hm, how can I get these characters to not be mad at each other anymore without them actually talking like adults about it??" I understand that there needs to be conflict, there will be drama. But it didn't have to be like That. Conflict or the resolution of conflict, should not be built on a house of cards. It should feel natural to the world, the culture, characters, plot, etc.

Feysand used to be otp, and I still do like them a lot, just... pre-acosf. That book nearly ruined them for me, though.

#acosf #sjm critical #ask #anon #fuck the pregnancy plot #it's so easy to rant about this foreverr

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more-than-a-princess · 3 months

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Hi! Love your sonia characterisation and from your ooc posting, I see your tastes are great~ Can I ask the mun: do you have any recommendations for books or TV series? c:

Hi anon! Thank you so much for your kind words regarding my IC content and OOC ramblings, that's really nice of you to say. I'm happy to recommend some things (I admit I did a 'Stitch laughing maniacally on a pile of wreckage' when I got this ask because anon, I am not sure you know what you have asked to unleash!).

However, I wasn't sure if you were asking for recommendations for books/TV series that have directly inspired my Sonia portrayal, or recommendations of things I enjoy in general. With that in mind, I'm going to be sharing a long list of books, TV series, manga/webtoons, and story-based video games that I just happen to like.

If you're looking for media that has directly inspired my portrayal though, please send another ask and I'd be happy to narrow it down for you!

In order not to keep the dash tidy, everything is under a cut, with notes (some important, some just me making jokes) beside a few of them. I hope you find a new favorite book/series to enjoy!

Books:

General Notes: For book series where the first book title isn't the series name, I've indicated which book to start with, save for the historical romances because that's easier to find online and there's a lot of them. I hope that helps! Additionally, for all romance series, assume that there is some mention of sexual content in various degrees of description, aka. "spice." Depending on your comfort level of literary sex, I highly recommend checking out each title on https://www.romance.io/ for their spice level rating, at the very least. The site will also show you tropes found in each book as well as reviews.

Contemporary Romance:

The Time-Travelers Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

American Royals series by Katharine McGee

Crazy Rich Asians series by Kevin Kwan (way, way better than the movie! It's a trilogy, followed by China Rich Girlfriend and Rich People Problems. I'd highly recommend this if you are writing a modern wealthy character of East Asian descent. Yes it's romance, humor, and contemporary family drama, but it gives what's apparently a very accurate look at high society)

Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade (if you are looking for contemporary romance with plus size heroines, you want to check out Olivia Dade! Also Mary Warren and for young adult romance, Kelsie Stelting)

Modern Royals series by Aven Ellis (start with A Royal Shade of Blue)

The Royal Runaway by Lindsay Emory

The Royal We by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan (and its sequel, The Heir Affair)

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston (this was better than Red, White, and Royal Blue, IMO)

Fantasy Romance:

Throne of Glass series by Sarah J. Maas

A Court of Thorns and Roses series by Sarah J. Maas

Crescent City series by Sarah J. Maas

A note about SJM series: I highly suggest reading TOG or ACOTAR first, with the understanding the first three or so TOG books and the first ACOTAR books have a slower pace and are more about worldbuilding than anything else. Read Crescent City after these two (CC 1 is also a big, long worldbuilding book). You must read ACOTAR to read CC, but you do not need to read TOG to read CC (though you'll miss some of the references/easter eggs!).

The Empyrean series by Rebecca Yarros (Start with Fourth Wing)

The Shepherd King duology by Rachel Gillig (Start with One Dark Window)

The All-Souls Trilogy/series by Deborah Harkness (Start with A Discovery of Witches)

Historical Romance:

Don't Want You Like a Best Friend by Emma Alban

Love by Numbers series by Sarah MacLean (start with Nine Rules to Break While Romancing a Rake. If you finish this series and like her writing, move on to the Bareknuckle Bastards series and the Rules of Scoundrels series)

Spindle Cove series by Tessa Dare (start with A Night to Surrender. If you liked this series, move on to the Castles Ever After series and the Girl Meets Duke series)

pretty much anything by Lisa Kleypas (Bridgerton fans? This is how you get over your hangover/wait between finishing the books and/or Season 3. start with the Wallflowers or the Hathaways series, then move onto the Ravenels and the Bow Street Runners series. This is mostly historically the chronological order with crossover characters between the Wallflowers and Hathaways. Bow Street Runners is chronologically before Wallflowers but it's disappointing if you read it first, trust me!)

everything by Jane Austen. Just everything.

Series/books I'm in the middle of/currently on my TBR list so I can't recommend them fully yet but I'm actively reading them:

The Folk of the Air series by Holly Black (start with The Cruel Prince)

Letters of Enchantment duology by Rebecca Ross (start with Divine Rivals)

Crowns of Nyaxia series by Carissa Broadbent (Start with The Serpent and the Wings of Night)

Hades x Persephone saga by Scarlett St. Clair (Start with A Touch of Darkness)

The Shadow and Bone trilogy by Leigh Bardugo (and Six of Crows. And everything else: I've yet to dive into Bardugo's series)

A League of Extraordinary Women series by Evie Dunmore (Start with Bringing Down the Duke)

Royals series by Rachel Hawkins (start with Prince Charming)

Infamous by Lex Croucher

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldree

Deliciously Dark Fairytales series by K.F. Greene (Start with A Ruin of Roses)

TV series:

Downton Abbey (my love for this show runs deep. It changed my life!)

The Gilded Age (Carrie Coon deserves an Emmy for this at some point I s2g)

The Crown (Claire Foy is the best QEII, Elizabeth Debicki is the best Diana, Josh O'Connor is the best Charles)

Gossip Girl (original 2007 series, not the remake)

The Royals (the E! show)

Succession (Come for Brian Cox emotionally and verbally harass his children, stay for Kieran Culkin, Jeremy Strong, Sarah Snook, Matthew MacFayden, Conheads, and a Ludicrously Capacious Bag.)

The White Lotus (Tanya is ICONIC.)

Miss Scarlet and the Duke

Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries (If you like Miss Scarlet, I can almost guarantee you will like Miss Fisher. And vice-versa.)

All Creatures Great and Small (the remake)

Sanditon

Black Mirror

Skins (UK series only)

Sex Education

The IT Crowd (the creator is an ass. The show is eternal.)

The Great

The Sopranos

The Empress

The Fall of the House of Usher

Midnight Mass (arguably the best Flanagan series. Fight me.)

Marie Antoinette (2022 TV series)

Dickinson

Euphoria

Stranger Things

The Tudors

Versailles

Unforgotten

Endeavour (you don't need to have seen Inspector Morse beforehand but it helps contextualize where some of this cast ends up in the future! Endeavour is the best murder mystery show ever written, IMO. Unforgotten is a close contender for second place.)

Outlander

Sherlock

Mad Men

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

American Horror Story (earlier seasons are way better than the later ones)

Gentleman Jack

Ted Lasso

Emily in Paris

Pride and Prejudice (the 1995 miniseries with Colin Firth)

Books and TV (that is, read and watch both!):

Bridgerton (books by Julia Quinn)

Magpie Murders (books by Anthony Horowitz. One of my few book recs that isn't a romance! Horowitz is a wonderful contemporary mystery writer)

Webtoons/manga:

(Because some people prefer manga/webtoons to novels! I have read all of these on MangaKatana. Mostly fantasy romance and contemporary romance, several have been made into J or K-dramas)

Under The Oak Tree

See You In My 19th Life

What's Wrong With Secretary Kim?

Like Wind on a Dry Branch

Marriage of Convenience

Father, I Don't Want to Get Married!

We Are Not Ourselves Today

An Hour of Romance

Innocent (The sole historical drama over here. Every sex and violence trigger warning you can imagine applies to this manga. It is also one of the most beautifully-drawn and intriguing stories I've ever read. Rose of Versailles fans, this is for you: this is your fave but darker.)

Marry My Husband

Video games with excellent storytelling:

(mostly. These are primarily otome games, mystery visual novels, and horror visual novels):

Zero Escape: The Nonary Games (there are three games in this series: 999, Virtue's Last Reward, and Zero Time Dilemma)

AI: The Somnium Files (There are currently two games in this series, AITSF and AITSF: Nirvana Initiative. Zero Escape and Somnium Files are basically required to play after Danganronpa. I said what I said: the storytelling is better)

Code: Realize (The best storytelling of all otome games, hands down. Do not watch the anime: it sucks. The first game is the best and really the only one you need to play. The other two games have okay side stories and are mostly romantic continuations of the first game's routes)

Collar x Malice

Cupid Parasite (mostly for the last two routes, though: if you're using a walkthrough guide. Generally much lighter than your usual otome...save for the last two routes that serve to break you.)

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni (you could watch both seasons of the original anime if you really want to, but the games are better)

Umineko no Naku Koro ni (Note: please keep in mind this was written 10+ years ago in Japan, especially when you get to the Big Reveals in the final game. There are Some Takes that would go over poorly today. Like Code: Realize, do not watch the anime: IT SUCKS.)

Spirit Hunter: Death Mark

Spirit Hunter: NG (You don't technically have to play Death Mark first but it makes one of the endings far more impactful if you do!)

Honorable mentions:

Hakuoki (so many routes, so very long! But if you like Japanese history around this time, you may like this)

Olympia Soiree (good on the more mature content, bad on some of the LIs giving me pause like 'this is not a good romance idea')

Amnesia: Memories (I'm not a fan of the female main character or two of the LIs. At all.)

Piofiore (Similar complaints as Amnesia.)

#more-than-a-princess answered #more-than-a-princess musings #(Doing a Munday post today for my daily queued offering!)#(I've wanted a place to write down everything I recommend to read/watch/play and this ask was a great place for it)#(Thank you anon!)#(I'll link this in my bio too for future reference)#(LMK if you end up loving anything from this list!)

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six-of-ravens · 2 months

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aloha friends and people who left annoying incorrect opinions on my posts, raistlin is a waif he is the waifiest waif it doesn't matter if his twin is a brick shithouse you are WRONG I am kinda sorta back. maybe only for one tipsy night, but who knows. listen, I'm 1.5 ciders in and feeling Properly Tipsy as opposed to last night when I drank jack and cokes for the first time in a while and just felt nauseous, so I'm Thriving atm. ANYWAY.

i feel like i have cleared some cobwebs from my brain. kind of. mostly i redownloaded bc i have the irresistible urge to natter about my life. tbh i considered deleting tumblr for a while bc there are some things about this site (but also social media in general) that annoy the absolute shit out of me, and also i feel like I dedicated too much ~mental energy~ to this site in the past (not to sound like some new age crackpot) and I need to cut down on how much scrolling and getting mad about other people's incorrect opinions I do. However, there are a few beloved mutuals on here that I miss talking to and also tumblr is kinda Home, y'know?

anyway TLDR I'm back, kinda. might still delete the app during the day so I can focus on IRL shit instead of being a zillennial social media addict, so I apologize if I miss messages etc but. yeah. for the sake of my mental health I have to be better at self-policing. Also, no longer going to allow myself to use the For You tab, so sorry if I don't see your posts bc tumblr only served them there. I can't control it lmao. frankly the algorithm here just ain't good enough and I don't want to cry AGAIN bc a video of a naked woman jiggling her stomach with a caption about how much she hates herself and wants to lose weight came up on my feed. Frankly since this is tumblr I'm not sure if that's porn or self-harm, but either way, fuck off with that shit, man! I kinda hate my body too and I don't wanna see that!! I don't want that in my brain!! Hence why I quit and went to ig-only for a while. My IG is all pottery and miniatures and painting and European travel vlogs it's so PEACEFUL!

now onto the fun stuff, a list of things I consider interesting that happened in the past 3ish weeks:

have done a whole lot of reading lately: Homesick for Another World by Ottessa Moshfegh which is weird and off-putting by very worth reading, then a reread of the Unicorn series by Vicki Blum (always a delight) and finishing Princess Jellyfish (there's quite the plot twist in the last few books but overall it's a delightful series), then my hold for Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk came up (extremely interesting and worthwhile read, especially after listening to the No Dogs in Space punk series, very sad ending though bc of course a lot of the punk musicians passed away young), and now I'm rereading The Mermaid's Secret and The Dragon Prince by Vicki Blum as a palate cleanser, and then hopefully I'll start the LoTR reread I've been meaning to do for a while. So yeah I read like 16 books in 3 weeks. this is the power of quitting social media.

Also I've kinda discovered that I'm just pretty... disenchanted with all book-fandoms online. it's just so...kinda annoying? nowadays? just the same old drama over and over and I don't caaaare lol. Read what you want, at whatever speed you want, idc, none of it matters. I read for funsies after work. Some people read 24/7 because being a book blogger is their career. Some people are 17 and still have the mental stamina to read a 500 page book in 2 days. Idgaf if you read Maas or Austen or Sanderson or whatever, there's no moral high ground (except maybe not giving Sanderson money bc WOW BYU is a shitty organization). Also I don't necessarily want other people's opinions on what I read or if a book I just bought has "mixed reviews" or whatever (unless the person is a mutual whose opinions I value lol). So I might start posting on the book blog again but just....not interact with booklr. Torn between the desire to communicate with others and the desire to keep my hobby all to myself and free from unnecessary judgement or bullshit.

Finally rearranged my bookshelves, by ~vibe or whatever~. Might post photos tomorrow but the living room is once again in a state of chaos since I started gardening today.

On that note, started my garden! planted some veggies, herbs, and a whole boatload of tomatoes in seedling trays (listen, MacKenzie seed were on sale 3/$5 today at the store and I'm weak for weird tomato variants and herbs. Still need to find rosemary and fennel though). Have more stuff to do, but I'm going to give the seedlings a couple weeks to get started and then maybe plant everything else Easter weekend. Last year was nice, garden-wise, but this year I really hope we don't get 30C weather in May. My allergies cannot handle it 😭

saw the Alien/Aliens double feature our cheap theatre put on and it was a DELIGHT

we also got a record snowstorm that weekend, which sucked bc it was the same week I'd had a random friday booked off (previously for traveling with my aunt, very glad that was cancelled now) so I basically did none of the other things I had planned.

also after said double feature, had to make my first 911 call. luckily I rot my brain with true crime All Day Every Day so I handled it like a pro 😤 (i am fine it was for another person, and uh, it turned out to not be so serious once the emergency people were able to get them to stop crying hysterically and realized this poor person was just intoxicated, underdressed for the weather, and a bit lost)

discovered the health foods store near my place has a bunch of funky herbal teas for like $5.50 a box so I've been going a little nuts there. I LOVE FENNEL TEA IT'S SO GOOD. ALSO LAVENDER MY BELOVED! they also have a bunch of local coffee blends, and I'm seriously considering getting a coffee bean grinder so I can try them

saw Lisa Frankenstein the week after the Alien double feature at that same theatre, it was fucking excellent I laughed my ass off, also at that theatre you can get your ticket and snacks and drink for the same price as a Cineplex ticket, it's excellent

finally watched Saltburn, which was great. love the Donna Tartt vibes. i watched it while somewhat drunk off Soju, which I think is how it's meant to be viewed.

also started a Ghibli rewatch, to justify not cancelling my Netflix just yet (I know I know, I should but I technically can afford it and it's my emotional support streamer you know? how else am I going to instantaneously watch Gilmore Girls on a bad day?) So far I have only watched Kiki's Delivery Service lol

Also, funny anecdote: last week I got my period and was VICIOUSLY craving alcohol. like I went to the store and bought the most bizarre range of random things (soju, honey jack, and mead...and then proceeded to drink them at my normal rate lmao). Realized afterwards this is a combination of my usual craving for sweet things + my very stressed coworker constantly joking about how we need to crack a bottle of something when this stressful project is finished. At the time however I thought my uterus was trying to make me an alcoholic.

Did my budgeting with my new rent and discovered that I'm actually fine, because I had DOUBLED A NUMBER SOMEHOW! and I basically had $150/month freed up. I'm so smart. I continue to procrastinate my income tax though (shhhh I have another month....)

Started writing a vague story about two women hiking to a portal to elfland, which is located near an abandoned train station. There are cultists called vampires living at said train station who are such a fucking delight to write (not real bloodsucking vampires tho, they are currently eating paella 🥘). It's fun and weird and I'm having a good time with it.

started listening to a podcast called No One Should Believe Me about cases involving Munchausens by Proxy, which is very interesting. the host has a sister with (alleged) MbP and genuinely wants to get her (and of course her kids) help, so it's actually a really good, compassionate take on an issue that's usually played for shock value. I have to listen to it slowly though bc it's Heavy

started knitting again! made 1 dishcloth and started a second. have decided I'm going to take these into work when I have a few done. If my boss won't buy us proper cloths then I'll pawn my knitting practice off on them lol

there is a lot of early road construction near my office since, aside from that random snowstorm, it's been a mild early spring. be glad you haven't had to listen to me rant about that lol

finally bucked up and got a duvet cover for my comforter that was lowkey falling apart at the seams. it's a good comforter aside from some light "my washer is evil" damage so I'm happy I can stuff it into a (less expensive) duvet cover instead of having to replace the whole thing

#hey hi hello #also goodbye and goodnight if my sober self decides to not redownload this app tomorrow #i will probably post less and interact less than usual and i apologize but you know how it is.#i feel SO MUCH BETTER when im just doing my irl stuff during the day and only on socials during certain times

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the-shadowsingers-whore · 6 months

Text

a court of wards and shadow

chapter six

series overview

summary: aelis returns to training and agrees to help rhysand with a very important mission for the night court

length: 4.8k

warnings: angst, anxiety, fighting, mentions of war

disclaimer: this fic in no way represents any of sarah j. maas' work or ideas, it is for purely fictional/personal entertainment purposes

masterlist /// next chapter >>

author's note: shoutout to @lennaleen for commenting on my other chapters! you're interactions are literally the main reason i busted out this chapter so fast!! (also lmk if you want to be added to the taglist for this fic!)

i tip my head back, relishing the feeling of the cold water slipping down my throat before using the back of my hand to wipe at the sweat starting to trickle down from my brow. even though we are well into fall, the heat of the afternoon sun is unrelenting today. and the intensity with which i am running through my strength training is not helping matters. i pull my tunic away from myself, tugging at it to try and let air in where the fabric clings to my body with sweat.

a rustling behind me catches my attention and i turn to find azriel approaching. throughout the months i have been here, i have not failed to notice how stealthy most of his movements are. he’s always moving silently around the house and the training ring, wrapped in his shadows. it's very obvious why rhysand chose him to be his shadowsinger and spy. and yet, i can always tell when he's near, i always hear him approaching. and as i watch him cross the ring towards me, the faintest hint of a smile gracing his lips, i’m starting to wonder if maybe, just maybe, he's doing it on purpose.

“already hard at it i see.”

my stomach dips slightly as the sound of his gentle baritone reaches my ears. i fight the urge to fiddle with my hands, nervous over the intensity of our last conversation.

“i have to leave training a bit early today to meet with the high lord--rhysand--so i figured i should come put in some extra work to make up for it.” the corners of his mouth tilt up slightly and my shoulders relax at the pleased expression that crosses his face. after a moment he tips his head towards the sparring mat.

“well then, you’d better get back to it.”

he follows me across the ring and we immediately start running through some sparring exercises before progressing to a series of attacks and blocks with practice swords. we easily fall back into our usual routine, no hint of awkwardness anywhere to be found. but i don’t miss the way he skips past the block i kept fumbling the last time we trained.

"wait," i say, pausing my movements. empowered by his words from last night, i take a breath to steady myself before continuing. "i want to try that one again. the block from weeks ago. i want to try it again."

he gives me an assessing look, a slight twitch of his fingers the only sign of his nervousness of trying it again so soon after my outburst. after a moment he gives me a simple nod in agreement before assuming the position to begin practicing.

we start out much like we did the last time, with me fumbling it over and over again, unable to find my rhythm. i can feel my frustration grow with every failure, but i push through it, steeling myself and trying to keep focused.

when yet another fumble ends with my landing hard on my knees, i pause for a second, closing my eyes to breathe through the pain. i open them to find azriel standing in front of me, hand outstretched, a cautious look in his eyes. "maybe we should call it for today. run through some basic exercises and stretches and then try again tomorrow."

i consider his offer from a moment, my aching and bruised body begging for rest. but then i remember his face when he made me promise to not give up, the hint of pride in his expression when talked about the fire he saw in me. and so, fueled by pure determination, i grab his hand to pull myself up and look him in the eye as i respond. "no, i can do it."

his eyes spark and the corners of his lips twitch slightly as if fighting a smile at my words. "alright then," he replies simply before assuming position to start the drill again. "let's run through it step by step so i can figure out where exactly you're going wrong."

i work through the block slowly, focusing on each and every move to try and execute it perfectly. just when i think i've actually done it successfully for once, i find azriel’s practice sword hovering an inch away from my throat.

"fuck," i groan, tipping my head back in frustration. when i look at az again i find his eyes trained on my neck and i feel my stomach dip under his piercing gaze. it lasts only for a single tense moment before he clears his throat and steps away, dropping the practice sword back to his side.

"i thought i had it that time," i say to break the silence and to distract myself from the unfamiliar sparks shooting through my veins from the look he gave me.

"when you're turning, you're relaxing your trunk too much and it's causing you to drop your shoulder which creates an opening for me to hit with a secondary strike. the key to this block is not only preventing the initial attack, but stopping any counter swings as well."

i nod as i hold up my sword and move slowly through the motions again, trying to follow his instructions.

"right there," he interjects when i'm halfway through. "that's when you're disengaging your trunk. i know it probably seems unnatural to keep those muscles tight while turning like that, but it will help keep your center balanced and prevent you from dropping your shoulder in."

i try again, this time noticing the moment my core relaxes and my shoulder starts to dip."i see what you mean.” i keep trying a few more times, all with the same results. "i'm just not sure how to keep those muscles engaged."

he takes a step closer, but then falters. "is it alright if….." he gestures with his hands towards my waist and i nod, confused by his hesitation. i watch his face as he moves behind me, trying to catch a glimpse of what he's thinking, but his expression remains neutral.

his places his hand gently on my upper ribs with his palm resting mostly on my back. his touch feels different than all of the other times he's helped me in practice. it's lighter, almost tentative. "you'll use these muscles to guide the swing of the sword and also to brace against the impact from the attack."

i move through the drill slowly once, and then once more, directing my attention to the muscles beneath his hand.

"good. you maintain a good center and balance so your core isn’t the problem. i think what's causing you to drop your shoulder is these muscles right….. here."

my focus narrows in on the feeling of his palm brushing lightly across the side of my ribs. i suck in a breath when i feel his fingertips just barely graze the side of my breast. he goes deathly still behind me as silence settles across the training ring. his hand tenses every so slightly, as if against his will, and i feel as though every nerve in my body is on high alert and focused on where his hand is touching me.

but not in a bad way.

i don't feel the same dread creep through my veins that normally overwhelms me whenever someone touches me. no, this is different, i feel jittery, almost…. excited? it feels as though my body is alive beneath his hold.

it's exhilarating.

and terrifying.

a few breaths pass in silence before he relaxes his hand again and speaks. "the…. these muscles along your ribs…..i think these are… uh…..the ones you keep disengaging." he stumbles over his words and surprise fills me. i’ve never seen azriel be anything but calm and collected.

is it because of me? fuck. i’m probably making him uncomfortable with my inappropriate reactions. he’s just trying to help me with my training for gods sake and here i am making everything weird. i mentally chastise myself while i nod and begin running through the drill again.

i pour all my concentration into engaging the muscles as he directs while desperately trying to ignore the feeling of his palm moving along my ribs when i turn and move through the motions of the block.

after a few successful attempts he releases his hold and steps back. i let out a quiet sigh of relief and try not to dwell on the sudden disappointment and longing that fill me at the absence of his touch.

he wordlessly picks up his sword and assumes sparring position. we continue practicing the drill a few more times in silence, the occasional nod of approval my only indication that i'm finally doing it correctly.

when he's seemingly satisfied with my success he then directs me to begin a circuit of exercises to strengthen the muscles i was struggling with, using only short, quiet commands and gestures. the stark contrast to our usual banter during training is not lost on me, but the burning of my exhausted muscles clouds my mind, preventing me from dwelling too much on the change in his behavior.

only when i'm finished with the grueling workout and azriel gives me a nod and a mumbled "you did well today" before slipping away into his shadows do i begin to analyze and overthink everything that happened during the last hour and a half.

i collapse back onto the mat and sling an arm over my sweaty brow, exhausted and suddenly self conscious of how i acted.

* * *

i didn’t realize i had drifted off until i feel a boot nudging my calf. i peep my eyes open, blinking rapidly to combat the bright autumn sun.

"oh good, you're not dead," nesta teases while extending a hand.

i pull myself up and glance around the arena to find gwyn and emerie setting up for this afternoon’s training. "i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to fall asleep. azriel worked me pretty hard in our practice session earlier."

"oh did he know?" she quirks a brow suggestively and i feel myself flush with embarrassment.

"oh hush, you know what i meant," i grumble back, ducking my head to try and hide my reddened cheeks.

"well i'm glad to see you back at training again," she continues and i'm grateful that she didn't question me about my reaction. i don't know what's come over me today when it comes to azrie, but i need to figure myself out before i make him, or anyone else for that matter, even more uncomfortable than i already have.

"ah yes, me too. well… i won't be in training this afternoon…." she frowns slightly at the news. "but don't worry! i'll be here tomorrow, i just have a meeting with rhysand i must attend. it's why i came early to train today."

"well, you will certainly be missed, but i understand. good luck with that idiot," she jokes. i suppress the urge to flinch when she pats my shoulder as she walks past me to help the others finish setting up, instead offering a light-hearted "goodbye" before heading inside to wash off the sweat from the day.

* * *

once clean and in a fresh tunic, i make my way to rhysand's office. it takes me longer than anticipated to arrive as i'm still getting used to the endless winding halls of the house and find myself lost several times on the way. rhysand doesn't seem to notice or mind the delay, greeting me with a kind smile and offering me a steaming cup of tea before getting down to business.

“am i correct in my assumption that you reached out for this meeting because you changed your mind about the matter we discussed the last time we spoke?”

“yes, you and your court have been so kind to me over the last several months and i would like to be of help in any way i can. as a way to show my gratitude.”

rhysand smiles softly, taking a sip of his tea before continuing. “while i appreciate your gratitude, i want to ensure you are not doing this out of obligation or because you feel as though you need to repay some debt. we have aided you freely and without expectation. what i need of you will not be easy so i ask that you do not come to your decision lightly.”

i swallow, the seriousness of his tone causing anxiety to roll through my stomach. but still, i do not back down. “don’t worry. i want to do this. regardless of what it is.”

“very well, but do know that if at any point you decide to stop or back out, you are free to do so. no questions asked. now, as i mentioned before, we are working to stop brekkan and his forces. their plan is to free an ancient, formidable beast from the prison and use it to eliminate my inner circle and i."

i nod silently in confirmation, still confused how i could play a role in something so confidential and important.

"i'm unsure how exactly he plans to free the beast so our first step is to learn more about the specific wards guarding the beast’s cell. the problem is all of the wards in the prison are ancient, powerful things that haven’t been seen in thousands of years. not even amren can make anything of them, and she has been alive longer than all of us combined. but, there is one fae in prythian who knows more about wards than anyone alive or dead.”

“helion,” i murmur, suddenly nervous about where this conversation is headed.

“yes….” rhysand pauses, noting the hesitation written across my face. “he is in possession of a book that i believe contains the information we need about the wards in the prison. and we intend to get it. as you probably already know, the day court palace is heavily guarded by wards and helion has only continued to add to them over the last few years since hybern’s attack. we know that besides helion himself, no one can winnow inside the palace. but beyond that, we know only a little about the newer wards. because of this, we are going to have to operate manually, absolutely no magic so as not to risk alerting helion of our movements.”

“why not simply ask lord helion for the book?” i don’t know much about the politics of the lords and the various courts, but i do know that lord helion is fair and kind. i know he would be more than willing to help.

“if that were a possibility, i would. i feel bad enough as it is lying to him about this, much less sneaking into his home and stealing from him. but it is unfortunately our only option. you see, we have reason to believe there is a spy, or multiple, in the night court and possibly amongst the other courts as well. even if we tried to handle the matter as discreetly as possible, the risk is too great that someone would learn of helion giving me the book and pass the information on to brekkan. as it stands now, he does not realize we know what we do about his plan so he is moving slowly and carefully. we need as much time as possible to figure out how to stop him, so we must keep this secret. which is why we need you.”

“me?”

“you have spent centuries working in that palace and i am sure you know every twist, turn, and servants’ hallway like the back of your hand.”

i nod in response and the anxiety churning in my gut leadens into dread as realization shoots through me. “you need me to go back,” i whisper, not trusting my voice to be any louder.

“yes.” he says the word gently, but it feels like a punch to the stomach. “besides your knowledge of the layout of the palace itself, we also need you because you are from the day court. the only other information azriel and his spies were able to gather about helion’s new wards is that his private rooms are all now warded to prevent any member of another court to enter uninvited. even though azriel could easily slip through the palace undetected, he would never be able to get inside helion’s personal study or library to find the book.”

“so you need me to sneak into my high lord’s, i mean lord helion’s, private quarters and steal from him?”

rhysand winces slightly at my words. “i know it’s a lot to ask. i completely understand if--”

“i’ll do it.” my voice is firm with resolve despite the nervousness fluttering through my veins.

“you will?” he asks, surprise and hope coloring his tone.

“yes. although the thought of stealing from lord helion doesn’t sit particularly well with me, i know that doing so will hopefully prevent his court from encountering brekkan and his beast. my loyalties may not lie with the day court any longer, but it was my home for centuries and i do not wish to see harm befall it. so, yes. i’ll do it.”

relief floods his face and he smiles at me. “thank you, truly. now of course, despite your impressive progress in training, we would never just throw you into a mission like this. in order to prepare you are going to go on an….excursion with azriel. a practice mission of sorts.”

after briefly explaining the idea, he dismisses me, sending me to find azriel and sort out the details of this “practice mission.”

* * *

following rhysand’s directions, i wind my way through the halls, my mind churning with everything we discussed.

i’m going back to the day court.

as apprehensive as the idea makes me, i’m not nearly as terrified as i thought i would be. maybe because i know azriel will be with me the entire time. i don’t have much time to dissect that thought before i finally find him, sitting alone at the dining room table, eating a slice of pie.

he looks up when i enter the room and i pause slightly, surprised to see him like this. he’s not in his full fighting leathers, just some simple black linen pants and a loose white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. he’s reclined slightly in the chair, a book open on the table next to his dessert.

it all just looks so…..normal.

he nods silently in greeting and i reply with a jerky nod of my own, suddenly nervous. a part of me feels as though i’m intruding, but another piece gets a strange thrill from seeing him like this, so relaxed, so seemingly vulnerable.

he gestures to the chair across from him and i take it, sitting stiffly.

“pie? it’s cherry.” his low baritone rumbles softly across the table, calming my nerves slightly. i nod wordlessly and he cuts me off a slice, sliding it gently to me.

after a bite or two of the deliciously tart dessert, i finally find my voice.

“i met with rhysand about the mission to the day court.”

“he may have mentioned that.”

“what?” confusion fills me and i give him a questioning look. i had come straight here from rhysand’s office. how does azriel know what we talked about already?

he taps his temple lightly and my eyes widen in realization. i had heard mentions of the high lord’s abilities of the mind, but i had yet to see it in action. “oh,” i murmur, amazed by the power.

if azriel knew about my meeting with rhysand, then he also knew i would be coming to find him. which means he knew i would see him like this, he knew i would find him at a moment when his ever present guard was lowered slightly. and something about that trust gives me a secret pleasure. i have to force myself to not smile at the thought.

“i said i would do it.”

he nods in a way that suggests rhysand told him this as well. “are you sure?”

“yes,” i reply with more resolve than last time, determined to help azriel in any way i can.

“alright.” he takes another bite of his pie and i have to force myself to not focus on the way his lips wrap around the fork as he eats.

“so,” i continue, clearing my throat to shake off the distracting thoughts that are becoming more and more distracting with every moment i spend with azriel. “about this practice mission?”

“ah, yes. i suggested we go out on a simpler, less dangerous mission to practice the skills you will need for the real one. we are going to do some reconnaissance on one of brekkan’s most important war camps.”

the plan sounds so far from safe that i can’t help, but let out a nervous chuckle. “you consider spying on a camp of trained warriors who are actively trying to kill you and your court ‘less dangerous’ than sneaking in and out of a palace i lived in for centuries?”

“stealing from a high lord is not a simple matter. nor is it one that should be taken lightly.”

my laugh dies in my throat at the seriousness in his tone and i swallow, still coming to terms with just how insane the mission i agreed to is.

“i don’t say that to frighten you, i just want you to be aware of just how precarious this mission will be. and remind you that you can still back out.”

“i won’t.”

he gives me an assessing look before continuing. “since i cannot winnow us into the palace or even onto the grounds without being noticed, we will have to start in the surrounding woods and journey to the palace on foot, ensuring we are not caught along the way. we will take a similar approach with this practice mission. the camp is deep in the midst of the territory of the rogue tribes so we will need to stay hidden from the surrounding camps as well as the one we will be spying on. it should only take us a day, although the real mission will take us at least three.” i try not to think about the way my stomach flutters at the idea of spending multiple days with azriel. alone.

“we can take as many days as you would like in order to prepare.”

i know there is no time to waste. every day we wait brings brekkan closer and closer to enacting his plan and releasing the beast. and besides that, i feel ready. i cannot explain why, but i do. which is why the next words out of my mouth are, “how about tomorrow?”

a small grin appears on his lips and his eyes brighten as they flick across my face, searching for the hesitation that isn’t there. “very well.”

* * *

i rise with the sun the following morning and have just finished dressing when i hear a knock on my door. i open it to find azriel waiting with an armful of fighting leathers.

“i think it’s about time you exchanged your training tunic. nesta guessed on the sizes, so i hope they fit.” and with that, he hands me the bundle and closes the door, allowing me privacy to change.

i quickly slip into them, amazed by how perfectly they fit. after lacing up my boots and buckling the dagger sheath to my thigh, i attempt to attach the harness for my sword. i’m assuming it’s supposed to function similarly to the ones cassian and azriel wear, a sheath straight down the spine. but, i can’t seem to figure it out.

after struggling for a few minutes, i open the door to find azriel leaning against the opposite wall, waiting. i hold out the mess of leather to him. “help me?”

he straightens as his eyes drag down my body slowly before quickly flicking back up to my face. “uh, yes… of course.” he moves behind me, but not before i catch the hint of pink starting to color his cheeks.

he gently helps me into the harness and carefully begins buckling the straps, his fingers occasionally brushing against me as he does. even through the thick leather covering my arms and back, his light touches feel scorching, as if every nerve he grazes is suddenly on fire.

when he finishes, he steps away and i run my hand down my sides, smoothing out imaginary wrinkles. excitement and nerves rush through me at getting to wear leathers for the first time. it feels like an accomplishment, as though i’ve earned them for all of my hard work. that rare sensation of pride trickles through my veins and i can’t help but smile as i hold my arms out and spin in a circle. “so, how do i look?”

“like they were made for you,” he murmurs softly, his gaze lingering on my body for a moment before he turns and heads inside. i follow him wordlessly through the house and to the training ring, a smile on my face the entire way.

he leads me to the weapons table in the corner where i find a beautifully crafted dagger and sword. the sword looks like a smaller replica of the massive blades azriel and cassian fight with. i pick it up and give it a few test swings, surprised to find the weight and balance to be nearly identical to the practice weapons i have used.

“i wanted something suited to your size and that you were already familiar with. you should not need them, but i wanted you to have something to defend yourself with, just in case.”

words fail me for a moment, overwhelmed by the gesture. these weapons are clearly very well made, not something he pulled out last minute for me to have for our practice mission. he put thought into this, he went out of his way to have something special made just for me. and he did it before he ever knew i was going to agree to the mission.

no one has ever done something like this for me before. i feel my throat tighten and my eyes start to fill with tears. i take a steadying breath, trying to not embarrass myself by crying.

“thank you,” i finally manage to say even though the words don’t come even remotely close to expressing the emotions i’m feeling right now.

he gives me a simple nod in response. i sheath my weapons and then he holds out his hand in silent question. i take his hold and darkness encaptures us for a moment before clearing, leaving us standing in a forest deep in the illyrian mountains. i shiver slightly at the sudden cold that rushes across my face, but quickly adjust, the leathers doing an excellent job of insulating my heat.

we travel through the woods silently, his shadows veiling us and muffling the sounds of our steps. after about an hour we reach the clearing where the illyrians have set up their camp. azriel gestures and we start skirting at an agonizingly slow pace around the border of the camp, observing everything within.

i see warriors sharpening weapons and cleaning armor or training with each other as well as some females with bound wings bent over cooking pots, but nothing that seems out of the ordinary for a war camp. not that i would know what to look for. i glance over at azriel, but his neutral expression doesn’t reveal anything. i won’t know if he noted anything useful until we return to the house of wind and can discuss.

once we make it a whole circle around the camp azriel signals to me and we start quietly making our way back to the woods. he could easily winnow us away, but we sneak back instead since during our real mission he won’t be able to shadow travel until we are a safe distance from the palace.

we are almost back to the place we started when i hear azriel let out a sharp curse and i turn to see his shadows flitting wildly around his head. i watch his eyes narrow as he whips his head to back and searches the sky. i follow his gaze with my own and my heart begins to pound as i too notice the six looming shadows of illyrian warriors diving straight towards us.

next chapter>>

thanks for reading and lmk what you think! i love hearing all your feedback!!!

taglist: send me an ask to get added to the taglist! (i only ask that you follow me and pls pls pls interact with my fic)

©️ the-shadowsingers-whore - plagiarizing, reposting, and translating is not permitted

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mclhotras · 1 year

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{ why would anyone think that? } | jai self para

What was I even doing last night?

The first conscious thought Jai had all morning as he jumped out of bed and hopped onto the exercise bike in the corner of his bedroom. Nothing ever made sense to him until he had gotten his AM cardio completed. The faster he rode, the easier it became to handle the constant stream of thoughts. It wasn't as though he was on some type of high or had a hangover, but something had changed overnight, without his permission.

Eventually, after 45 minutes of pushing his heartrate to a smooth 110 beats per minute, Jai finally decided to check the bane of his professional existence, his phone. His manager had tried to convince him to use two phones, like every other actor, however Jai had refused - that's what his team was there to handle. This singular brick was dedicated to his personal life, the one he never wanted to lose. The only non-personal thing he checked though was social media, mainly to understand what type of trouble the media was brewing this time.

But first, he had to speak to his stepmother.

As he dialled her number, Jai also began putting together his daily smoothie that he refused to let anyone else make for him. "Maa, what on earth are you doing?" Her laughter was like bells to his ears, a soothing sound compared to what the rest of his day looked like. He never expected to become as close as he had to his father's second wife, but it worked for the both of them. His own mother had disappeared into the Mediterranean a few years back, and as much as it had hurt at the time, Jai was grateful for the way his life had travelled since then.

Listening to his maa's chatter as she was preparing for an afternoon meeting with her business partners in Sydney, Jai settled on his couch, face turned towards the smog filled sky, with sunrays inching towards his apartment. What he wouldn't give to be able to enjoy this everyday, just him & the way he wanted to exist.

"Hang on maa, there's no one here but me. What do you mean a new kudi? Maa, come on, you're always the first person I tell when I get roped into these things. Na jaane kya bakwaas media ab phelar raha hai. I'll have to talk to Tanvi, I'm sure she knows.

"...nahi meri maa, please do not involve your daughter. Neena madam is still upset with me for pushing Advait her way. -okay, okay, I'll behave. Don't I always?

"...Maa, my lovely mother, you do not need to come to Mumbai. Stay in Sydney; I'm coming to see you next month right? Toh you don't have to be so stressed. Who's going to handle all your clients if you're here? Besides dad is still in Singapore, you know you don't like being in Mumbai by yourself.

"-you make me laugh. If the tabloids get worse, I'll make up with them, just to make you happy. ...oh maa, why would anyone think that? My fans know I'm happy being single, I think they'd all die of heartbreak if I said I was dating someone. Have to keep them happy ya know..."

Her laughter filled the apartment, and he realised how much he missed hanging out with her. He opened his MacBook to check his calendar, and was pleased to see he wasn't needed until the 20th of the current month.

"-hey maa, what would you say if I came down to Sydney this weekend? We could go to that place in Bondi you love so much for brunch, and make dad jealous. Might force him back from Singapore quicker. Okay, I'll book & let you know the flight details. Need to shower now, Tanvi would be on her way by now; and yes maa, I'll be a good boy. Just for you. Okay, love you, say hi to Rohit uncle for me. Bye maa."

The conversation ending there, Jai felt a lot more energised and ready to find out just what type of nonsense his favourite paps were spewing now. He messaged his manager Tanvi to let her know he'd be expecting a lot of answers, but otherwise he didn't care.

-except that niggling feeling hadn't left, and he wondered if this news would end up becoming something bigger than he was ready for.

#{ chapters; }#{ 001 casanova; }#{ casanova; }

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writingwithcolor · 3 years

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Jurassic period alien interacting with key cultures and historical figures in Middle East & Asia throughout history

@ketchupmaster400 said:

Hello, so my question is for a character I’ve been working on for quite a while but wasn’t sure about a few things. So basically at the beginning of the universe there was this for less being made up of dark matter and dark energy. Long story short it ends up on earth during the Jurassic Period. It has the ability to adapt and assimilate into other life animals except it’s hair is always black and it’s skin is always white and it’s eyes are always red. It lives like this going from animal to animal until it finally becomes human and gains true sentience and self awareness. As a human it lives within the Middle East and Asia wondering around trying to figure out its purpose and meaning. So what I initially wanted to do with it was have small interactions with the dark matter human and other native humans that kinda helped push humanity into the direction it is now. For example, Mehndhi came about when the dark matter human was drawing on their skin because it felt insecure about having such white skin compared to other people. And ancient Indians saw it and thought it was cool so they adopted it and developed it into Mehndi. Minor and small interactions though early history leading to grander events. Like they would be protecting Jerusalem and it’s people agains the Crusaders later on. I also had the idea of the the dark matter human later on interacting with the prophets Jesus Christ and Muhammad. With Jesus they couldn’t understand why he would sacrifice himself even though the people weren’t deserving. And then Jesus taught them that you have to put other before yourself and protecting people is life’s greatest reward. And then with the prophet Muhammad, I had the idea that their interaction was a simple conversation that mirrors the one he had with the angel Jibril, that lead to the principles of Islam. Now with these ideas I understand the great importance of how not to convey Islam and I’ve been doing reasearch, but I am white and I can understand how that may look trying to write about a different religion than my own. So I guess ultimate my question is, is this ok to do? Is it ok to have an alien creature interact with religious people and historical events as important as they were? Like I said I would try to be as accurate and as respectable as possible but I know that Islam can be a touchy subject and the last thing I would want is to disrespect anyone. The main reason I wanted the dark matter being in the Middle East was because I wanted to do something different because so much has been done with European and American stuff I wanted to explore the eastern side of the world because it’s very beau and very rich with so many cultures that I want to try and represent. I’m sorry for the long post but I wanted you guys to fully understand what my idea was. Thank you for your time and hope you stay safe.

Disclaimer:

The consensus from the moderators was that the proposed character and story is disrespectful from multiple cultural perspectives. However, we can’t ignore the reality that this is a commonly deployed trope in many popular science fiction/ thriller narratives. Stories that seek to take religious descriptions of events at face value from an areligious perspective particularly favor this approach. Thus, we have two responses:

Where we explain why we don’t believe this should be attempted.

Where we accept the possibility of our advice being ignored.

1) No - Why You Shouldn’t Do This:

Hi! I’ll give you the short answer first, and then the extended one.

Short answer: no, this is not okay.

Extended answer. I’ll divide it into three parts.

1) Prophet Muhammad as a character:

Almost every aspect of Islam, particularly Allah (and the Qur’an), the Prophet(s) and the companions at the time of Muhammad ﷺ, are strictly kept within the boundaries of real life/reality. I’ll assume this comes from a good place, and I can understand that from one side, but seriously, just avoid it. It is extremely disrespectful and something that is not even up to debate for Muslims to do, let alone for non-Muslims. Using Prophet Muhammad as a character will only bring you problems. There is no issue with mentioning the Prophet during his lifetime when talking about his attributes, personality, sayings or teachings, but in no way, we introduce fictional aspects in a domain that Muslims worked, and still work, hard to keep free from any doubtful event or incident. Let’s call it a closed period: we don’t add anything that was not actually there.

Reiterating then, don’t do this. There is a good reason why Muslims don’t have any pictures of Prophet Muhammad. We know nothing besides what history conveyed from him.

After this being said, there is another factor you missed – Jesus is also an important figure in Islam and his story from the Islamic perspective differs (a lot) from that of the Christian perspective. And given what you said in your ask, you would be taking the Christian narrative of Jesus. If it was okay to use Prophet Muhammad as a character (reminder: it’s not) and you have had your dark matter human interacting with the biblical Jesus, it will result in a complete mess; you would be conflating two religions.

2) Crusaders and Jerusalem:

You said this dark matter human will be defending Jerusalem against the Crusaders. At first, there is really no problem with this. However, ask yourself: is this interaction a result of your character meeting with both Jesus and Prophet Muhammed? If yes, please refer to the previous point. If not, or even if you just want to maintain this part of the story, your dark matter human can interact with the important historical figures of the time. For example, if you want a Muslim in your story, you can use Salah-Ad-Din Al-Ayoubi (Saladin in the latinized version) that took back Jerusalem during the Third Crusade. Particularly, this crusade has plenty of potential characters.

Also, featuring Muslim characters post Prophet Muhammad and his companions’ time, is completely fine, just do a thorough research.

3) Middle Eastern/South Asian settings and Orientalism:

The last point I want to remark is with the setting you chose for your story. Many times, when we explore the SWANA or South Asian regions it’s done through an orientalist lens. Nobody is really safe from falling into orientalism, not even the people from those regions. My suggestion is educating yourself in what orientalism is and how it’s still prevalent in today’s narrative. Research orientalism in entertainment, history... and every other area you can think of. Edward Said coined this term for the first time in history, so he is a good start. There are multiple articles online that touch this subject too. For further information, I defer to middle eastern mods.

- Asmaa

Racism and Pseudo-Archaeology:

A gigantic, unequivocal and absolute no to all of it, lmao.

I will stick to the bit about the proposed origin of mehendi in your WIP, it’s the arc I feel I’m qualified to speak on, Asmaa has pretty much touched upon the religious and orientalism complications.

Let me throw out one more word: pseudoarchaeology. That is, taking the cultural/spiritual/historical legacies of ancient civilizations, primarily when it involves people of colour, and crediting said legacies to be the handiwork of not just your average Outsider/White Saviour but aliens. I’ll need you to think carefully about this: why is it that in so much of media and literature pertaining to the so-called “conspiracy theories” dealing with any kind of extraterrestrial life, it’s always Non-Western civilizations like the Aztec, the ancient Egyptians, the Harappans etc who are targeted? Why is it that the achievements of the non West are so unbelievable that it’s more feasible to construct an idea of non-human, magical beings from another planet who just conveniently swooped in to build our monuments and teach us how to dress and what to believe in? If the answer makes you uncomfortable, it’s because it should: denying the Non-West agency of their own feats is not an innocent exercise in sci-fi worldbuilding, it comes loaded with implications of racial superiority and condescension towards the intellect and prowess of Non-European cultures.

Now, turning to specifics:

Contrary to what Sarah J. Maas might believe- mehendi designs are neither mundane, purely aesthetic tattoos nor can they be co-opted by random Western fantasy characters. While henna has existed as an art form in various cultures, I’m limiting my answer to the Indian context, (specifying since you mention ancient India). Mehendi is considered one of the tenets of the Solah Shringar- sixteen ceremonial adornments for Hindu brides, one for each phase of the moon, as sanctioned by the Vedic texts. The shade of the mehendi is a signifier for the strength of the matrimonial bond: the darker the former, the stronger the latter. Each of the adornments carries significant cosmological/religious symbolism for Hindus. To put it bluntly, when you claim this to be an invention of the aliens, you are basically taking a very sacred cultural and artistic motif of our religion and going “Well actually….extraterrestrials taught them all this.”

In terms of Ayurveda (Traditional holistic South Asian medicine) , mehendi was used for its medicinal properties. It works as a cooling agent on the skin and helps to alleviate stress, particularly for the bride-to-be. Not really nice to think that aliens lent us the secrets of Ayurvedic science (pseudoarchaeology all over again).

I’m just not feeling this arc at all. The closest possible alternative I could see to this is the ancient Indian characters incorporating some specific stylistic motifs in their mehendi in acknowledgement to this entity, in the same vein of characters incorporating motifs of tribute into their armour or house insignia, but even so, I’m not sure how well that would play out. If you do go ahead with this idea, I cannot affirm that it will not receive backlash.

-Mimi

These articles might help:

Pseudoarchaeology and the Racism Behind Ancient Aliens

A History of Indian Henna (this studies mehendi origins mostly with reference to Mughal history)

Solah Shringar

2) Not Yes, But If Ignoring the Above:

I will be the dissenting voice of “Not No, But Here Are The Big Caveats.” Given that there is no way to make the story you want to tell palatable to certain interpretations of Islam and Christianity, here is my advice if the above arguments did not sufficiently deter you.

1. Admiration ≠ Research: It is not enough to just admire cultures for their richness and beauty. You need to actually do the research and learn about them to determine if the story you want to tell is a good fit for the values and principles these cultures prioritize. You need to understand the significance of historical figures and events to understand the issues with attributing the genesis of certain cultural accomplishments to an otherworldly influence. 1.

2. Give Less Offense When Possible and Think Empathetically: You should try to imagine the mindsets of those you will offend and think about to what degree you can soften or ameliorate certain aspects of your plot, the creature’s characteristics, and the creature’s interactions with historical figures to make your narrative more compatible. There is no point pretending that much of areligious science fiction is incompatible with monotheist, particularly non-henotheistic, religious interpretations as well as the cultural items and rituals derived from those religious interpretations. One can’t take “There is no god, just a lonely alien” and make that compatible with “There is god, and only in this particular circumstance.” Thus:

As stated above by Asmaa and Mimi, there is no escaping the reality the story you propose is offensive to some. Expect their outcry to be directed towards you. Can you tolerate that?

Think about how you would feel if someone made a story where key components of your interpretation of reality are singled out as false. How does this make you feel? Are you comfortable doing that to others?

3. Is Pseudoarchaeology Appropriate Here?: Mimi makes a good point about the racial biases of pseudoarchaeology. Pseudoarchaeology is a particular weakness of Western-centric atheist sci-fi. Your proposed story is the equivalent of a vaguely non-descript Maya/Aztec/Egyptian pyramid or Hindu/ Buddhist-esque statue being the source for a Resident Evil bio weapon/ Predator nest/ Assassin’s Creed Isu relic.

Is this how you wish to draw attention to these cultures you admire? While there is no denying their ubiquity in pop-culture, such plots trivialize broad swathes of non-white history and diminish the accomplishments of associated ethnic groups. The series listed above all lean heavily into these tropes either because the authors couldn’t bother to figure out something more creative or because they are intentionally telling a story the audience isn’t supposed to take seriously.*

More importantly, I detect a lot of sincerity in your ask, so I imagine such trivialization runs counter to your expressed desire to depict Eastern cultures in a positive and accurate manner.

4. Freedom to Write ≠ Freedom from Consequence: Once again, as a reminder, it’s not our job to reassure you as to whether or not what you are proposing is ok. Asmaa and Mimi have put a lot of effort into explaining who you will offend and why. We are here to provide context, but the person who bears the ultimate responsibility for how you choose to shape this narrative, particularly if you share this story with a wide audience, is you. Speaking as one writer to another, I personally do not have a strong opinion one way or the other, but I think it is important to be face reality head-on.

- Marika.

* This is likely why the AC series always includes that disclaimer stating the games are a product of a multicultural, inter-religious team and why they undermine Western cultures and Western religious interpretations as often (if not moreso) than those for their non-Western counterparts.

Note: Most WWC asks see ~ 5 hours of work from moderators before they go live. Even then, this ask took an unusually long amount of time in terms of research, emotional labor and discussion. If you found this ask (and others) useful, please consider tipping the moderators (link here), Asmaa (coming eventually) and Mimi (here). I also like money - Marika.

#alien character #historical fiction #science fiction #pseudoarchaeology #Middle-Eastern cultures #South-Asian cultures #Islam #writing with Islam #mehendi #cultural appropriation #areligious perspectives in writing #asks #WWC

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welldonekhushi · 3 years

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To Love An Indian | Tony Stark x Desi!Reader

Summary: The reader is a desi woman who was appointed as an assistant by Tony Stark. How will your relationship with the billionaire genius go?

Warnings: All fluff, used Hindi language! Translations are available.

Word Count: 2,914

The special fact about you was, being an Indian was something common about when you live in a western country.

Mostly migrate to other places for finding a job, same as you. Never believed once in your life, you're going to get a job of an assistant. For a billionaire genius, and a superhero.

Everyone in your family was so happy about it, at least they have expectations that their daughter will finally make her name and earn. Maybe find someone special that you find to be perfect in your life?

Your mom and dad always worked hard for you for a better future and lifestyle. They never been so happier when they found out you were being appointed for a job in America. They felt so successful and proud for making their daughter educated enough to send her further.

Your flight was tomorrow, but the nervousness just kicks inside that how would your interview go. It was actually Tony Stark, the genius, billionaire, playboy and philanthropist. You can't even mess up with him. But, there was one thing which bugged you about, a tingly feeling.

You remember him since the day when the world was saved from the Chitauri invasion, and everyone was celebrating about the victory of heroes. It filled throughout the Indian media, about the new superheroes, named as the Avengers, who fight the inside and outside evils. The moment Iron Man showed on the screen, you were left surprised. You kept staring at the hero saving others and making sure if they're secure.

Mostly! When he opened his mask, and revealed his face, everyone held such shocked faces, like they never knew Iron Man was basically a human inside controlling the suit.

"Lo, hum joh isse robot samaj rahe the, yeh toh insaan nikala!" Your grandmother exclaimed. (Wow, we thought he was robot, but he turned out to be a human?)

"Chodo na, dadi. Hai toh hero, na?" You replied, turning back to the television. (Leave, grandma. At least he's a hero, right?)

But, you kept looking at his face. The way he spoke, the way he actions, and everything. You were lost into the man, that suddenly you revealed your smile, your sister noticing it.

"Didi, kya hogaya?" Your sister broke your contact, making you jerk in an instant. (What's wrong, sis?)

"O-oh, k-kuch nahi. Bas me usse dekh rahi thi, baat karte hue." You stammered, looking back. (Oh, it's nothing. I was just looking at him, talking.)

"Oho, pyaar me toh nahi pad gaye na?" Your sister teased, making you blush. (Oh, are you falling in love, huh?)

"Aree! Pagal toh nahi ho? Of course nahi! Hero hai, respect karti hu." (Hey! Are you crazy? Of course no! He's a hero, and I respect him.)

You did appreciate him, but this kind of respect leading to somewhere else.

It was morning, and the time for your flight. Bidding everyone a heartwarming farewell, hoping to see your family soon again.

"Beta araam se jaana. Maine tere liye bahut saari kheer banayi hai. Kha lena agar bhuk lagi toh, thik hai?" (Dear, go easy while you leave. I made lots of pudding for you, so eat it if you feel hungry, alright?)

"Haa maa, ghabrao nahi. Me araam se jaaungi. Ashirvad do bas." You kneeled down to take blessing from your mom and dad, them giving it back. (Yes, mom don't worry. I'll go easy, just give me your blessing.)

"Khush raho, beti. Kaam karna aur naam roshan karna." Your father removed his spectacles, crying tears for her daughter leaving. (Be happy, my daughter. Work hard and make your name bright.)

You hugged your dad, weeping because he wasn't ready to accept the fact you were now leaving him for a long time. After breaking the hug, you wiped his tears, giving him confidence.

Stepping in the taxi, you bid them goodbye, waving your hand and leaving for the airport.

Your new life now began, the moment you entered America. Landing, you then stayed in the hotel for the night, tired and exhausted. But, along that you wanted to remember your lines, so you quickly revise and go to sleep. In the morning, you hurriedly reach Stark Tower for the interview, since the time was running a bit fast.

Entering in the huge interior, looking at a lot of people working in. It did made your nervousness kick in again, but behaved like a strong woman, just wanting to complete the interview as a badass.

You reached the receptionist. "Excuse me, can you tell me where will Mr. Stark take the interview?"

"Oh, on the 15th floor, meeting rooms."

"Thank you." You smiled, reaching the elevator and waiting for the floor to arrive. Checking your watch, you were two minutes late, but hoping they'll just manage. Entering the room, feeling the slight cold air hitting your skin. It seemed empty, but hoped he was waiting for a while.

"Uhm, Mr. Stark?" You called out.

"Come in, Miss (L/N)." A deep, masculine voice filled through the room, knowing someone was actually in. Stepping inside, and closing the door, you seat yourself, trying to hide away your nervousness. It seemed you were slowly forgetting your lines but, being a strong woman is your passion right? Who even can—

The moment the chair turned around towards your direction, you lost it. It looks like you totally forgot the lines now.

Because Tony Stark just faced in front of you.

Did you just, blush? No, it might be embarassment. But, he too stared at you for a while. It was like an awkward staring contest, but remembering you were here for an interview, you brought yourself back.

"Good morning, Mr. Stark. Sorry for being so late." You wipe off the flick of hair on your face.

"It's okay. At least you were on time." He replied, giving a smile. Damn, it was cute.

"So, Miss (L/N). You're from, India right?" He asked, looking at your documents.

"Y-yes! I'm from India, also fully graduated from college."

"What really made you accept this assistant job?" He started asking questions.

"I just don't want to work for money, but I want to find what better I can do while I'm by myself."

"That's everyone's expectations. We should really try something new, and it's a fact of finding your true self."

"Right." You nodded.

"Alright, I have appointed you, congrats." He closed the document and gave a grin.

You widen your eyes. "What? I-I thought you were going to ask more questions..?"

"I don't ask many of them, I know you're capable for everything so, no need." He shrugged.

"W-wow.. I mean, it's way different back there.. haha. What a prick I am." You chuckled.

"You shouldn't actually be uncomfortable or nervous around me, okay? I'll always be available for your problems." He stood up from his chair, and you also too. Offering his hand for a handshake, and you happily accept it.

"Congratulations for the job, Miss (L/N)."

"Aapka bahut, bahut dhanyawad." You accidentally speak in your language, making you cover your mouth in surprise. (Thank you very much.)

He raised his eyebrow in confusion, not sure what you really meant. "Excuse me?" He tilts his head, smirking.

"I-I meant, thank you for accepting me as your assistant, Mr. Stark.. I'm sorry about that." You replied, trying not to fluster from embarassment. But, it didn't seem to make him feel weird, he was like.. more interested?

"No no, it's fine. Accidents happen, but your language is just beautiful. Just tell me whenever you're about to speak Hindi, JARVIS, my AI will help me translate it." He chuckled, and you laugh back.

"Mr. Stark you're so funny." You shook your head and continued to laugh. He sees you smile, which somehow warmed his heart. You might not notice it, but something was being created in between.

And time actually told that, when you both worked together for a long time.

"Please, call me Tony."

✧

Years while working with Stark, you really enjoyed the job. He was a sweet, generous person who will look after you, hoping nothing worse happens. It kind of made you both like good friends, later on. Everytime you looked at him, some strange feelings always attacked you. You can't even guess what it means, but maybe because you really appreciate him.

One day came, when you even noticed about his weaknesses. It made you worry when he never came upstairs to sleep, so after a lot of convincing, he accepted your plead and slept. Even it became more forward, when Tony faced nightmares, and wanted to sleep with someone by his side.

He had been lonely, and it hurts.

His tired face made you want to rub it gently, and relax him to sleep. But, it looks like, you weren't friends anymore.

The way he became more protective and caring throughout your job in his mansion. Like a boyfriend.

But, the question came, does he even love you back, that you're feeling it all?

In the morning, Tony woke up to see the side of the bed empty. Maybe you were up early and started working. He got up and rubbed his hair, went downstairs to get some coffee. While drinking, he suddenly heard someone.. singing?

It didn't seem like an English song. It was foreign.

He could even hear the feminine sound softly, coming from the othe room.

Main tainu samjhawan ki, na tere bina lagda ji,

Tu ki jaane pyaar mera, me karu intezaar tera,

Tu dil tuhiyo jaan meri

Main tainu samjhawan ki, na tere bina lagda ji,

When he slowly entered the room, you were the one singing while cleaning up the documents. Seriously, he never knew you sang so well. It literally made him feel so surprised, by seeing your other talent. He leaned on the door ledge, hearing you sing beautifully without noticing, like he was lost into it.

Everyday, whenever you used to sing this song while working, he secretly saw you and always adored your voice. It just made him fall in love.

On a particular day, he heard you sing the same song again. He stepped in the room, seeing your beautiful face and voice again.

In midway of your song, you turn around and see him on the doorway, and you gasped. "O-oh, Mr. Stark! G-good morning!"

"Good morning." He replied in his groggy, morning voice. "I never knew you sang so well. You never told me you even sing." He chuckled.

"Really..? I uhm, used to sing but, I had different plans.." You rub your hair, looking embarassed.

"But you sing so well.. I'm amazed." He smiled. "Problem is, I didn't understand because, that's a different language. God, I need to take Hindi classes from you, dang. What does it mean?"

You both laughed. "This song.. uhm actually is about, a lover, explaining his.. other lover that, he can't live without her, because they're deeply attached to each other. It's my favorite song, by the way."

"Oh really? You're into romantic songs, it seems." He raised his eyebrow and smirked, finding a seat.

"Yeah but, uhm.. because they show a lot meaning, even after I'm just a single-pringle, haha. Weird isn't it?"

He stared at you for sometime, it wasn't serious, but gentle. "It's not."

You blushed, don't know why but the tone of his voice dragged into it. Both kept staring at each, and had no idea about the surroundings.

You were the one to break through, coming back to reality. "Oh! S-sorry I just got lost.. a while back."

He got up from his chair, and went closer to your direction. Looking at each other's eyes, he found yours the most beautiful. Felt like he can swim in it. Caressing your cheek and rubbing it with his thumb, you started to panic inside, not able to notice what's happening now.

"Y/N.." He said, in a soft voice. "I.. wanted to ask about something."

You gulped, still flustered. "W-what is it?"

He realised something else, and then cleared his throat. ".. can you, teach me Hindi?"

"Huh?" You looked surprised.

"Yeah, I told a very while back, that I will once ask you to teach me Hindi. I'm very interested, can you please?" He flashed a grin. Like, there was no problem for you to teach him your language. It's good to make others know about your culture.

You gave him a nod as a reply, and he became excited. "Thank you, I'll gladly be your student, Miss Y/N."

✧

For weeks, Tony had been taking Hindi classes from you. I swear, it could have been tough for him, but he was just so interested to learn the language. All you know he was just keen so you were teaching him all that. Giving him assignments and worksheets with grammar, you helped him through everything.

"Maine khana khaya.." You said the words, and waited for him to recite back. (I ate my food.)

"Maine khana.. khaya? Did I say it right?" He replied, in a weird way because his American accent was also mixing in between.

"No no, you're going correctly! Now say it again."

"Maine khana khaya." Tony said it properly.

"Good! I'm proud of you. Damn, Tony. You're going good in this language."

"For you, I can do anything, even learning a tough language."

The moment which left you blank again. He still fixed his soft eyes with yours, clearing your throat to break the tension.

"Okay so, do you have any doubts so far?

"Well, uh. I have a doubt, many of them." He rubbed his nose.

"Ask me."

He first rubs his hands nervously, then looks back at you. "How do you say.. love in Hindi?"

"Oh, well.. pyaar." You replied, being straightforward.

"Okay.. now how do we say, you're beautiful in it?"

You felt a tingly feel in your stomach, but still continued. "Tum khoobsurat ho."

He chuckles. "Alright. Now, if I ask my final doubt.. how do I say.. I love you?"

You gasped. Did he really mean it? Clenching your pen, you became nervous.

"Tell me, my love. I want to know about it."

".. me tumse pyaar karta hu."

"Yes, that is what I wanted to hear." He skids closer to you, growing close to your face.

"Mujhe tumse pyaar hai." He said, properly in Hindi. You felt like to explode. Tony Stark.. loves you?

Suddenly, he gets up from the couch, offering his hand. You grab it and get up, till a familiar song plays in the room.

Tony grabbed your waist from one arm and your hand from the other, swifting to the movements as if they're dancing.

He started singing the song, when the verse began.

- play it now! -

youtube

"Main tainu samjhawan ki, na tere bina lagda ji.." He sang the line so perfectly. You were just shocked and surprised. Both were dancing like a couple on stage.

Main tainu samjhawan ki, na tere bina lagda ji..

Tu ki jaane pyaar mera, me karu intezaar tera,

Tu dil tuhiyo jaan meri

Main tainu samjhawan ki, na tere bina lagda ji..

While he was singing your favorite song, you were about to burst in tears. You never believed it. The billionaire genius, actually loved you this whole time. Happily resting your head on his chest, he continued to dance while holding you close. When the song finished, he still saw the tears in your eyes.

"D-did you wanted to learn Hindi.. b-because of all this?" Your voice cracked.

"Yes, my love. Just for you. I have to tell this but.. I fell in love the moment I saw you for the first time. Your smile, laugh, voice, behavior, eyes.. and your.."

"And your.. what?"

He sighed, and then leaned to close the gap between your lips. The kiss was sweet yet passionate, like he waited for this moment.

He pulled off for air, both of your gazes neutrally looking. "I'm surprised that I fell in love with an Indian, like you. But, you're pretty, no matter what nationality you belong to. You changed my life Y/N. Trust me, the way you took care of, pampered, and worried for me.. I can never forget that. I really love you for that, my love. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.. d-do you accept me as your boyfriend?"

You started to sob, clenching his shirt tight. Maybe she wasn't happy about it. "L-look, if you don't accept, it's okay.. you deserve. Alot better than—"

"Yes, yes and a million times yes!" You said excitedly, and he sighs in relief. "Did you like.. learn the entire song?"

"Yeah, I even did take help from JARVIS for the translation, also from your teachings, never forgetting that." He winked.

"Oh god.." You laughed.

"But come on, you didn't like it? Tell me!"

"I did, Tony. And I want to thank you for it, a lot."

He gently wipes off your tears, and kisses your forehead. "Now, do you want to celebrate for our engagement?"

"Like where, Mr. Stark?" You said, flirtatiously.

He darkens his eyes, and picks you in the bridal style. "Right in our shared bedroom, sweetheart." He takes you in the room while giggling, shutting the door from inside.

#tony stark x reader #tony stark x y/n #tony stark x you #tony stark x desi!reader #desi reader #tony stark fanfiction #marvel #marvel india #marvel x reader #avengers x reader

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highfaelucien · 3 years

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I completely agree with how you feel towards azriel. Thinking about azriel’s character now vs how I used to view him during acomaf times is just... sad and so so so much more complex. Part of me still wants to love him for the character that was presented to us in acomaf and other small good moments, like his friendship with nesta. And then the other part of me is disgusted, disappointed, and honestly kind of terrified of who he may become if sjm allows him to continue acting predatorily/toxic. The whole mor/az situation really fucked me up. As someone who is also a lesbian and an abuse survivor, it broke my heart to watch the situation unfold in acowar. It still hurts seeing many readers (and sometimes even sjm) take az’s side and paint mor as some sort of liar/two faced character that is playing everyone. I kept thinking that things would be fixed in future books, but instead az has grown worse and mor was, once again, sidelined and written out as a character. And honestly... as much as I love the idea of gwyn x azriel ... I think his books would need a lot more focus on his own recovery/growth and not center on a romantic relationship. If anything, I hope it’s written as friends to lovers so az has a better way of interacting and forming relationships with women. Because right now... well, that shit is borderline predatory and isn’t coming across well. And I really really do not want that for him. Basically, azriel deserves a better arc than what has been written for him. I miss him :( he used to be a character that made me feel safe and now :/ idk anymore

I'm going to quote parts of this/chop it up and reply to them a chunk at a time. because there's a lot going on here and I want to try and reply to as much as I can because I resonate with.....all of it. Please forgive me for the length of this.

I completely agree with how you feel towards azriel. Thinking about azriel’s character now vs how I used to view him during acomaf times is just... sad and so so so much more complex.

He feels like a different character? There was always an anger simmering under the calm surface, we knew that. But it was an anger born of love, deep down, and the desire to protect his family, and his court, at the expense of himself. Az was always the first to volunteer himself for dangerous missions, to spare the others.

Now that anger is directed at his family, and at the world, for not giving him what he feels he 'deserves'. That has NEVER been Azriel. Azriel's deepest issues and insecurities have always stemmed from the feeling of being unworthy, and undeserving of anything.

She's just made him into......Every other dude in this series tbh. Snarling, and possessive, and wanting to fuck anything in a skirt that moves.

Azriel was actually somewhat of an original, complex character initially. It's unusual that we see trauma affect men in the way it did Az. Usually it makes them angry, and vengeful, and eager to prove they are the alpha etc. Seeing them withdraw, and think less of themselves/that they're unworthy is something not explored often enough. But bye bye nuance hello #Drama.

Part of me still wants to love him for the character that was presented to us in acomaf and other small good moments, like his friendship with nesta.

I feel this. I found a lot of comfort in Az's character. Particularly the way he reacted with Mor. I was a big fan of their relationship, and I wrote a few 'missing scenes' style fics in the gap between ACOMAF and ACOWAR. One of them was where Az went to her when she had pushed everyone else away, including Cassian, and comforted and calmed her.

I hate that Maas took that away from Mor. I hate that Az no longer does that for her. I hate that Az was the one to betray her along with Rhys and bring her abuser into her safe space behind her back. I hate that he is no longer a symbol of calm, stable, dependable comfort and support for Mor, but is instead a threat. I HATE it.

Every now and then Az has lovely, gentle moments - his friendship with Nesta is a good example, and something I hoped we'd see. But also quieter times with Rhys, and their similarities being explored. And I adored the flying lessons with Feyre in ACOWAR, and the training he did with Cassian and the others in ACOFS.

But then she goes and twists him and does something else that just makes me want to fucking scream. Like the High Lord scene where he 'frightened' Mor. And his entire POV chapter which is frankly fucking gross.

And then the other part of me is disgusted, disappointed, and honestly kind of terrified of who he may become if sjm allows him to continue acting predatorily/toxic.

I agree.

I don't know how she can write a series that explores the effects of emotional abuse so well with Feyre and Tamlin...And then write what she did with Az?

The possession to a traumatised, still impressionable and desperate young woman, who likely finds the same comfort and safety in him that Mor did. Before that got shot to fucking pieces.

He sounds like a whiny toddler 'Cassian has a mate, and Rhys has a mate, where is mine!?!?!?!?' I DESERVE Elain, because I'm your brother and you guys have her sisters and what the FUCK. Who let that shit get published holy mother of god.

It's just...It's so unhealthy? Like, not even talking ship wars here (which I'm aware are rampant, and which I'm trying my best to stay away from). But that just.

How can that ever be a healthy foundation for a relationship? A man who thinks that he deserves, not only to be in a relationship with her, but to be bonded to her. Not because of HER, not because of who she is, or how she makes him feel. No. Purely because her sisters are mated to his brothers?

The whole thing made me feel so uncomfortable. It's predatory and toxic, just as you said. It's not right, it's not fair. Forget alliances and Lucien, even if none of that was a factor, that sort of thinking is still not right. And it's completely unfair to Elain.

But it also just. It didn't read like Azriel. The first part, where he struggles to sleep, and pushes himself until he passes out, and the insight that his shadows are basically hovering beside him screaming SELF CARE YOU DUMB BITCH at all times was very pleasing.

And the part where he goes to Clotho and leaves an anonymous gift for Gwyn. No fanfair. No audience. No pressure on either of them to react/perform. That felt like Az, too.

But everything in the middle. Everything with Elain, was just...Gross and out of character. And this is not because I dislike E/riel as a ship. I could get on board with it, tbh, if it wasn't written the way it was.

But it's not about ships, for me. It's just. Everything felt out of character. The predatory way he was with her. The fact he lies awake and gets himself off to fantasies of her. How apparently quickly he was aroused by putting a necklace on her. Idk, maybe it's my ace ignorance, but that doesn't sound normal/healthy to me.

Nor does him having to leave a room because he can scent her mating bond with Lucien. Or not being able to control himself to sit and eat dinner with her?

This is the same dude who has, apparently, been in love with Mor for 500 solid years, and who never did a damned thing about it. Who always kept himself in check. Even while she's had other lovers. But he can't control himself through one dinner with Elain?

It just. It doesn't feel like him. It feels like...Honestly not even Cassian. It feels like Tamlin on horny, predatory steroids. And that's not something I ever wanted to see from Azriel's POVs.

She could have explored a darker side to him without making it sexual? And misogynistic. And having him treating Elain as little more than a fucking object that he feels entitled to because 'everyone else got one, where's mine?'. What the FUCK???

The more I write it the more angry I get.

Because SJM has consistently put Az in the position of saving women when they were in danger? He was the one who found Mor near death at Autumn. He was the one who rescued Gwyn from her attackers during the war. He was the one to retrieve Elain when she was taken.

She always puts him in this position and, for better or worse, presents him as a safety figure for these women. The first person who they saw come for them, and fight for them, and protect them.

And on the inside she makes him this vile, predatory monster who just thinks constantly about fucking them? Who isn't actually safe at all?? It's sad. And it's infuriating. Because this isn't about ships anymore. This is about female survivors who have an apparent safe person who's presented as almost as dangerous as the people who attacked them in the first place. And that makes me feel so sick and sad that we've gotten here.

It still hurts seeing many readers (and sometimes even sjm) take az’s side and paint mor as some sort of liar/two faced character that is playing everyone. I kept thinking that things would be fixed in future books, but instead az has grown worse and mor was, once again, sidelined and written out as a character.

This is yet another vile thing SJM has done to queer readers with this whole fiasco. Because it puts me in a position where I want to call out her shitty writing, and what she's done to Mor - sidelining her as soon as she became queer. Undermining her power and her strength. Undermining her role as the survivor to look up to. Saying her power is truth but then making her seem like a liar. Which is all shitty, shitty, shitting writing.

But I'm also a queer person. And I will always always ALWAYS want to defend a queer person's right to remain closeted. Regardless of their reasons for doing so. But in this case it's a concern for their safety/a fear of how those around them will react. And I will NEVER condemn that. I will never say Az is suffering more than Mor for her being closeted. I will never call Mor a liar/a manipulator/two-faced when all she's doing is trying to survive.

I WILL condemn SJM for making this a scenario. For putting homophobia in her world purely to cause pain for queer characters, and drama for her straight ones. And for sidelining Mor as soon as she can't write graphic scenes with her fucking men because now she's a lesbian so we best get her off the page so the guys can get their cocks out some more.

And honestly... as much as I love the idea of gwyn x azriel ... I think his books would need a lot more focus on his own recovery/growth and not center on a romantic relationship. If anything, I hope it’s written as friends to lovers so az has a better way of interacting and forming relationships with women. Because right now... well, that shit is borderline predatory and isn’t coming across well. And I really really do not want that for him.

This is going to sound sarcastic but I actually mean it fully and completely genuinely: 95% of the drama inducing problems in this series could be fixed with some fucking therapy.

But I agree with you. I think it's high time Azriel worked on his own issues. Even if they've apparently made a complete 180 from what they were in ACOMAF.

I...Like the concept of Gwyn/Azriel, but I'm not sold on the ship. Not with the way Maas has been writing Azriel lately. That kind of man shouldn't be with any woman right now. But especially not a rape survivor who sees him as one of the first men she's been able to trust in a long time.

Basically, azriel deserves a better arc than what has been written for him. I miss him :( he used to be a character that made me feel safe and now :/ idk anymore

"he used to be a character that made me feel safe" - This shit hit me like a tonne of bricks because this is EXACTLY how I feel about Az, too. You just managed to say it in a few words instead of 12 pages of rambling, like I do.

And I think this was intention. Azriel was presented as a very dependable character. He rescued Mor, and was respectful enough to keep his distance, despite his feelings, for 500 fucking years. Because he didn't think she was ready/interested.

He had a very calm, and calming air about him. Always in control of himself. Without the expected bursts of aggression and temper we'd seen from...Every other male character in this series. He was stable, and solid, and that was comforting. An anchor. And someone who would quietly, and without fuss, seek out Mor/others when they needed someone to talk to or comfort him.

That was a very soothing, reassuring presence in the book, I felt. And now she's made him seem...volatile, and unstable. With this dangerous anger that he can't control, that he uses not to protect, but to intimidate, and to fuel his entitlement and desires.

it's just sad. It's sad that she's taken this away from Mor, but also from other survivors who found comfort and safety in Az. Because I'm sure we weren't alone in that regard.

I miss him. And I mourn the character he was, and feel anger for the character he should have been. but instead he's become yet another possessive, entitled, snarling cardboard cutout dude like...everyone else.

And I ache for the Az/Mor dynamic that we had in ACOMAF. Even without it becoming romantic, there was no reason for that to be destroyed/ruined.

She could have written it that Az is the only one who knows about her sexuality, and that he pretends he's still in love with her as a shield/buffer, so no one looks too closely/to protect her and make her feel comfortable.

Instead she turned it into a soap opera style drama. And wrote it almost as though her sexuality was her cheating on him? Denying him what he deserved. And now she's just...just pussyfooting around it. And apparently he's just. Just moved on. Without them having any kind of conversation or closure at all. He just wanks off to the thought of Elain instead of Mor, now, problem solved /s

I miss what they were. I miss what he was to Mor. I miss when she had that support system, and that safety net. I miss when he protected her. And looked out for her. And understood her in a way that no one else, not even Rhys, did.

Mor deserved that. Azriel deserved that. WE deserved that. And she nuked it for some fucking twisted drama that punishes a lesbian because a man is thirsting after her. it's a fucking disgrace. I'm so fucking done with SJM, y'all. So fucking done.

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ratabrasileira · 3 years

Text

The Fox of the Night

Chapter One.

Disclaimer: Characters belongs to Sarah J. Maas. Notes: KDSJKJSDKJSD I hope to don't give up from this one. Enjoy the reading and if there's any grammar mistake, please call me out!!

Summary: Since he was a toddler, Lucien was told to always be concerned about all High Lords, but more about the one from the Night Court. He couldn’t understand quite well why, Rhysand didn’t seem to be dangerous, he was charming, beautiful, elegant and extremaly hot.

The first time that Lucien saw him, it was in an Equinox Ball hosted by the Autumn Court. Lucien watched the High Lord of the Night Court standing in a corner, with disdain consuming his features and always, always, with that damned smile in his face. In that time, Lucien was only 16 years old; still very young and with his hormones on edge. He said to himself that it was normal to not stop looking at Rhysand, he said to himself that it was normal to think of him every night when thrusting his dick in his own hands.

Thing is, he could not let himself ramble about Rhys. Since he was a toddler, Lucien was told to always be concerned about all High Lords, but more about the one from the Night Court. He couldn’t understand quite well why, Rhysand didn’t seem to be dangerous, he was charming, beautiful, elegant, hot...

But Lucien understood it when he was 27. It was Winter Solstice commemoration and for an unknown reason, the High Lord of the Night Court had appeared in the Winter Court to celebrate the longest night of the year. As usual, Lucien couldn’t take his eyes from that deadly beauty, even more when that pair of violet eyes was looking at him so closely.

Lucien had found Rhysand in an isolated balcony of the Winter Palace. They were alone and for a long moment, it was just him and the High Lord, looking at each other without a single sound to disturb them. They gazed each other long enough to Lucien realize why he was so dangerous; he was sure that Rhysand was made of the night, and not a simple night, but the most powerful one. How could someone threaten him like this with a single look, a single manner? And yet, how could someone look so scary, but still extremely attractive?

Lucien didn’t know the answer.

The High Lord was the first to break the gaze. He peered Lucien down and gave him a mocked smile. A smile that made the fire inside Lucien’s vein go wild, ready to erupt, but he held it. At least held it enough until Rhys’ dark hair was not long seen and he could relief his power.

Late in that night he had to relief himself with a random guy who Lucien wished to look at least a little similar to the High Lord.

Now, a century later, Lucien looks at the High Lord who was laughing of his friends joke and ask how all his reprimed feelings ended. The answer this time he knew; Jesminda. Just to remember about her it was like a sharp knife passing through his heart and craving his soul among it.

They were at the Summer Court; the Summer Solstice Ball was happening in a barge, people dancing and drinking here and there and the sun hiding its face behind the sea. It was Lucien’s first national event as a courtier of the Spring Court; a cool job if you ask him, not one that he planned, though.

He localized his mother in the crowd. The Lady of the Autumn Court was looking to him, pain visible in his eyes. Lucien wanted to talked to her, wanted to hug her, wanted to do everything that his father prohibited him to do. He missed her.

But he missed Jesminda more.

He needed to get out, to take some fresh air, so he headed to the emptiest place of the barge. It seemed to be the back part, there were benches around the place and some table with board games. It seemed a good place to spent the evening with the family or the friends.

Friend. Lucien wanted to know the exactly meaning of it.

Of course, he had met Tamlin and some of sentinels of the Spring Court, but could he count them as his friend? Lucien asked himself when he propped up in the rail of the barge. Tamlin was a High Lord who saved him, how possibly could he be his friend? He was powerful, different… Another race. At least makes more sense to a High Lord befriend with him, a High Fae, than a Lesser Fae.

Lucien sighed. Things can be such a mess.

“Little Lucien” A deep voice purred from his side. The smell of rain, salt, and citrus hit Lucien before he saw who was standing before him.

The High Lord of the Night Court was looking at him with a lazy smile in his face and a relaxed posture. Rhysand propped his back in the rail to face Lucien, his head slightly bent. If Lucien thought him to be devastatingly handsome when he was young, now he couldn’t find a word to describe what Rhysand was looking like with all that sensual grace. It was like something divine.

Lucien might very well had let show in his face what he was thinking, because Rhys laughed softly. A lover’s laugh that bounced through Lucien’s body, stopping right below his belly. He couldn’t let the High Lord to have such power over him; it was already bad that Rhysand has a power over everyone.

“What you want?” Lucien asked, closing his face to an annoyed countenance. Not only his family had alerted him about Rhysand, but Tamlin too, and he wouldn’t disappoint his savior. Not that it was necessary to warn about it; something around Rhysand was looking extremally dangerous, even more because they were alone in a place where—

“No need to fear, dear.” Rhysand whispered, Lucien mentally scolded himself for letting it be shown. “I just want to... check on you. News runs pretty quickly in Prythian, as you might know.”

“I’m fine, thank you very much” Lucien answered coldly and remembering with who he was talking about he added “High Lord.”

“Are you, really?” Rhys insisted, approaching him more. Unintentionally, Lucien took a step back.

“Whatever is what I feel I don’t think it’s your business, my lord” What Lucien said took a deep laugh from the High Lord standing right before him.

“No, it’s not, indeed. But I would be glad if you share somethings with me, you may know” Rhysand said it with such a naturally that it was like a friend offering his shoulder to support. It only warned Lucien more. What the hell did he want from him?

Lucien didn’t answer, he just gazed the High Lord, whose eyes were burning him so strongly that Lucien thought he might be very well looking to his soul. He didn’t look away, though; let him be burnt.

“Tell me, then. How’s Tamlin going on?” Rhysand said, sliding his ringed hand in his pockets

Lucien might had known. Of course, the handsome enemy from the Spring Court would want information about it. Lucien only laughed, though. He wouldn’t deliver Tamlin, his savior and somehow his friend. Ever. “Is that what you want? To know more about Tamlin? I heard you two don’t get along, but you can save your breath, I won’t betray him.”

Rhysand only gazed Lucien before saying with a hoarse voice “I want you” Lucien’s heart stopped when he listened the three words. He was going to ask Rhys to repeat when the High Lord completed.

“I want you to work for me, Lucien” A well-known smile propped in Rhys’ face. “You and I, we could be like gods together”

“Why?” Lucien whispered. He didn’t dare to say things too loud, to breathe too loud.

Rhysand only approached him, less than a palm between their faces. Lucien could very well read all Rhysand’s features from that distance; see the stars in his violet eyes, feel the hot breath hitting his face, the smell of rain, salt, and citrus that threaten to drunk Lucien. If it was possible, Rhysand could be more handsome than ever when this close.

His deep voice shuddered Lucien’s body “You’re good and a completely waste in the Spring Court, Lucien. Please, don’t think that I hadn’t been watching you.”

“A creep thing to do, isn’t it?” Lucien couldn’t hold himself. He never could, actually, it was one thing that his mother tried to correct about him.

But before Rhysand could answer, a familiar voice called behind the High Lord “Lucien?!”

Both Rhys and Lucien turned to see Tamlin, High Lord of the Spring Court standing with a feral feature in his face. He looked to Rhysand more clearly and pure disdain was visible in his countenance “What are you doing here?”

“Tamlin, old friend, I’m just chatting with dear Lucien—

“Get the hell out of him and my court, Rhysand.” Tamlin interrupted Rhys. He grabbed Lucien by the arm and dragged him to where the ball was happening “Let’s go. Don’t interact with him. Ever.”

Lucien had no other choice but to follow his master. He looked back to where Rhys was standing, though, and was surprised to see the High Lord smiling at him with something gleaming in his violet eyes.

Lucien could not take this image out of his mind for months. Neither the High Lord of the Night Court’s proposal.

Next Chapter

#acotar fic #acotar fanfic #rhycien #rhysand #lucien #rhysand x lucien #lucien x rhysand #lucien vanserra #tfotn #the fox of the night

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graceverse · 3 years

Text

Here Be That EniKao Fic I Told You All About

Please note that this is post "The Final" movie. This happened around 2 months after Kenshin and Enishi's fight. AND OH MY GOD, this is my first RK fic since what? 2017?! It has happened and I would like to thank Mackenyu for making this possible. LOL.

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An Unexpected Invitation

Winter and spring had passed quietly without much excitement. Which was exactly what the occupants of the Kamiya Dojo, and indeed the residents of Tokyo, needed. After much turmoil from the previous year, the quiet restful months have allowed everyone to heal from their wounds.

Physical injuries were all but gone now. No one was wearing any bandages, no one was limping around, clutching a broken shoulder or needing a change of bloody bindings.

Megumi has finally been able to get a decent enough stock of bandages and ointment for the actual patients of the Ouguni Clinic. A feat she didn't think was possible especially since everyone seemed to have been incapacitated in the aftermath of Yukishiro's Jinchuu.

"You're all a troublesome bunch." She told them when she'd given everyone a clean bill of health. She haughtily tossed her hair, looking imperiously down at them. "Next time, you're replacing everything that you'll use up in the clinic."

"Just let Sano take you out for dinner as payment." Yahiko suggested. Boldy too, since he had never really tried teasing Megumi before.

Megumi didn't seem to mind as she actually winked at him before turning to give Sano a look. "Dinner, eh? Sagara Sanosuke can afford dinner?" If she had any eyebrows, it would have disappeared up into her bangs. But the curl of her lips was enough to let Sano know that she was merely teasing him.

"Jou-chan would lend me money, right Jou-chan?" He sidled up to her, elbowing her and making faces that Kaoru supposed was meant to make him look like an adorable puppy, but failing miserably with the still darkened bruises on his face. His spiked-up hair did nothing to help his cause.

"I will most certainly not!" Kaoru indignantly crossed her arms, sending both Sano and Megumi a glare.

"I'd rather that Kenshin take me to dinner, ne Ken-san?" Cool hands snaked around his arms and Kenshin was quick to jump away from Megumi's clutches.

"Why you-"

"Maa, maa -" Kenshin said, raising his hands, trying to prevent unnecessary bloodshed.

As usual, they all ignored him; insults and intimidations of violence were quickly tossed around which ended when Kaoru actually promised Sanosuke that she will give him the money he needed just to shut Megumi up and make her stop acting so inappropriately towards Kenshin.

To which Megumi had answered with a laugh, sultry enough to make both Kaoru and Sano blush. Chaos ensued and Kenshin reveled in the happiness that stirred inside of him as he watched his friends chase each other, threatening murder and all sorts of physical pain.

It was good to be back.

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All traces of the violence and destruction from last winter was gone. It was as if it that night of chaos and fire, explosions and screams piercing through the night, the ghostly air balloons silently stalking the sky had become more like a nightmare that had faded away.

It was now the height of summer, the humidity so unbearable that even when Kaoru had changed the schedule of her classes to the hour of the hare, ("too damn early, busu!" Yahiko had complained), by the mid-morning everyone was drenched with sweat, limp and tired.

Classes were dismissed by noon which gave her ample time to take a long, cooling bath and sit at the engawa eating watermelons while watching Kenshin do the laundry or the gardening or whatever household chore he fancied for the day.

Today however had been hotter than usual and Kaoru briefly wished that she was alone at the dojo so she could changed into something more lightweight, like a yukata.

A slightly opened yukata.

She missed those days when she could just lie down, arms and legs thrown around and not have a care in the world about propriety. It was a constant learning process and test of patience living with two grown men and a young boy on the verge of manhood.

She could not understand how her father had dealt with so many hotheaded, pigheaded, sweaty, untidy – well, except for Kenshin – scoundrels.

Ugh!

Sighing heavily, she closed her eyes, leaning her head against one of the columns of the engawa, her socked feet listlessly swinging at the edge. If only there was tiny little breeze to alleviate this heat. She wanted very much to loosen the summer kimono that she was wearing.

She'd been planning on going to The Akabeko later. It was the only reason why she had dressed up today. Tae-san had promised her that she'd prepare anmitsu and Kaoru could already taste the sweet red bean paste inside her mouth, but as the day progressed it had become too hot that she could barely move from her spot.

Even Kenshin had decided not to do any outdoor activity, quietly sitting beside her instead. Apparently feeling the same kind of stupor that had descended upon them.

It was the kind of heat that robbed you of thought and speech and Kaoru had been imagining dipping into a tub filled with ice cold water when the sound of bells and sirens blasted through the tepid air.

Another fire.

There have been small conflagrations around the city, what with the heat and people being addled by it, someone was always bound to fall asleep with a lit cigarette or mothers too distracted by the heatwave would leave matches lying around for bored children to play with. Easily put out without much fuss but when she'd look up, startled by the sound, she could see dark plumes in the sky, getting bigger by the second.

"It looks like that's from the docks." Kaoru murmured, sitting up straight.

"That it does, Kaoru-dono." There's an almost sleepy quality in Kenshin's voice, low and raw from not having spoken for a quite a while, but she sensed his alertness as he stood up, grimly looking at the cloud of smoke that had impossibly become larger at such a short amount of time. Before Kaoru could say anything, Kenshin had stepped off the engawa, already sliding his zori on.

"Kenshin-" she had started to stand up as well, but Kenshin had placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, stilling her.

"Please stay here, Kaoru-dono. It is too hot, that it is. Yahiko and I will go check if we could be of any help." His eyes are narrowed, an unpleasant thought obviously occurring to him but Kaoru didn't think that a fire, a safe distance from their home, should be of any concern.

"Don't over exert yourself Kenshin." She told him, the warning tone in her voice softened his eyes, the corners crinkling as he very visibly tried not to smile.

"I mean it, Kenshin." She added a little more firmly, fighting the urge to grab on to the ends of Kenshin's hair and pull on it just to show him how serious she was. "Absolutely no running inside burning buildings. None of that foolishness. I forbid it, Kenshin."

Kenshin's eyes gleamed at her. "Aa, Kaoru-dono, this one promise to stay behind the police line, that I do."

A blatant lie. The insufferable jerk. But Kaoru was too tired to argue and she only gave him her mightiest glare, one that was enough to make Sano squirm.

It apparently does not work on Kenshin as he merely reached out to briefly pat the top of her hand, his fingers lingering for just a few second more and Kaoru suddenly felt all hot inside. Like she had swallowed a whole taiyaki fresh from the oven and now it was idly swimming inside her stomach. She felt her whole face heating up and was rewarded with a genuinely amused smile from Kenshin who had leaned forward, just a fraction of an inch, head bowed down that she couldn't even see his eyes.

She felt herself freeze, her heart stuttering inside her chest. Kenshin seemed to have sensed this as he slowly, almost languidly, pulled back, the same amused smile still on his face before murmuring a quick goodbye.

She reluctantly let him go, trying not to worry so much as she watched as Kenshin waiting for Yahiko by the gate, ready to provide some much-needed assistance to the Tokyo Police.

Once they have closed the gate behind them, Kaoru sent a quick prayer to Kami-sama that no one was hurt from the fire and that her boys would come back unharmed.

She let her lids drop, trying to recapture that emotion she had felt when Kenshin had nearly invaded her private space. He'd never done that before…she wondered if it was brought upon the heatwave or something that he had seen in her face – when she had been imagining tugging at his hair…

Kaoru took a deep breath her eyes suddenly snapping open as she realized that she was finally alone. She let out a lazy smile as she pulled on the collar of her kimono, loosening it a bit. She let herself lay down, sprawled on the engawa, enjoying the little comfort it gave her.

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A shadow loomed over her.

It took her a second to realize that she had fallen asleep and the presence of someone looking down made her sit up, grabbing the nearest object she could reach to use as weapon: it was an emptied tea cup, utterly useless but she threw it with all of her might, hoping that in her still half-asleep state, her aim would be good enough.

It wasn't.

A hand caught it with ease and then a glint of light caught her eyes as she stared up into the face of Yukishiro Enishi, casually staring down at her as he pushed the bridge of his eyeglasses up to his nose, his other hand crushing the tea cup in his fist.

Kaoru let out a small gasp, realizing that that was her favorite and most expensive cup. Kenshin always took great care when handling it and now it has been turned into dust.

The indignant scream of rage that had wanted to escape her throat was swallowed down as Enishi wordlessly tossed something at her feet, it made a soft sound as it hit the wooden floor. Scrambling to sit up she glared at the object only to find out that it was Tomoe-san's diary.

She frowned and then slowly turned to look up at Kenshin's possibly deranged brother-in-law, now apparently escaped from prison, fugitive brother-in-law.

This could not be happening to her.

"I'm dreaming." She muttered darkly, more to herself, ignoring the man standing before her. She reached out to touch the diary, but pulled her hand at the last minute, her fingers curling in mid air before digging into the plump flesh of her palms. "I just need to wake up and everything will be fine." She closed her eyes, wondering rather inanely, if closing one's eyes would work when trying to wake up, wasn't she supposed to be doing the opposite? But -

Enishi was not cooperating. "I've read it." He told her, breaking the silence and forcing her to once again open her eyes, back to the dream. He was looking at her as though they were having some conversation that she had missed entirely because, what?!

"What?" She asked, equal parts perplexed and irritated at her inability to wake herself up.

"Nee-san's diary. I read it like you told me to." Enishi's voice held the same quality as Kenshin's earlier. A low rumble that sounded too unused and raw. Like those were the first words he had uttered since the last time she had seen him at his ruined garden, clutching at his stomach, sobbing Tomoe's name. He looked strangely normal all things considered. He was wearing an unusually bright orange Chinese robe that made Kaoru squint.

Kami-sama. She brought her hand to the side of her head, pressing hard, feeling suddenly lightheaded.

And then completely out of nowhere, in an almost toneless, disinterested voice, Yukishiro Enishi asked her: "Are you married now?"

Again, "What?!"

Enishi frowned at her. "Am I not making myself clear, Kamiya-san?" Now he was impatient, the tone of his voice changing into something that sounded suspiciously patronizing.

Kaoru absolutely hated being treated like she was a child. "Shut-up." She hissed at him. "What are you doing here?"

Enishi made a displeased sound at the back of his throat, "Why is your kimono open, Kamiya-san?"

Why is my -?

Kaoru felt her left eye violently twitching before letting out a shrieked loud enough to disturb their neighbors, it was a wonder no one came rushing in to check if she was alright. Kaoru had the presence of mind to clutch at her kimono, closing the tiniest of gaps that Enishi deemed improper. The stupid jerk. He couldn't have seen anything.

She took a deep breath, both hands clenching into tight fists as she gathered all of the swearwords Sanosuke had taught her and was about to let Enishi have them when something inside her head clicked.

She blinked up at her former captor who looked almost friendly, if it weren't for the stoic expression on his face that might actually surpass the permanently emotionless face of Shinamori-san. "The fire, that was you?!"

Enishi merely shrugged, untroubled by her accusation. "It was an old, hideous building. Abandoned." He added when Kaoru opened her mouth to protest, "I did Tokyo a favor."

A favor?! Kaoru wondered how exactly Enishi's head worked. How was deliberately burning a building –

"It was the green one with the stupid yellow door." He explained further, seeing the balled-up fists that Kaoru was shaking at him.

Kaoru saw the building inside her head and winced. It was incredibly ugly and she had complained about it to Tae-san about how much of an eye sore it was and she wished someone would just burn it to the ground but hadn't meant it literally!

She suddenly jumped up when she noticed Enishi stepping into the engawa.

Going into her Chūdan-no-kamae stance, her left foot just a few inches behind her right foot, her left heel elevated, hip thrust forward. Her shoulder was too tense though and she had to concentrate, trying to relax her shoulders.

She took deep breaths, readying herself for any attack. She didn't have her bokken with her, dammit, but she wasn't going to be taken without a fight. Not again. Never again. If she had to claw out Enishi's eyes or shove his glasses to his eyeballs, she'd do it.

"Stay back." Kaoru hissed at Enishi as he took another step towards her. "I will not let you take me again."

Enishi frowned at her. "Take you? Why would you think I'd want to take you?" He asked in a tone that suggested something entirely different to Kaoru, she just didn't know what, which further annoyed her. This was too weird to be a dream.

Yukishiro Enishi was really here. Again. In her dojo. And he made damn certain that no one was with her but he didn't want to take her.

Why couldn't Kenshin's brother-in-law be Yahiko's age?! She'd have a better way of dealing with that instead of this brown eyed, six feet, bulging muscles of insanity - Kaoru shook her head, clearing her thoughts. "What do you want then, you creep?"

Enishi merely raised his eyebrows, a dark severe line, in complete contrast to his disheveled white hair. "Is this how you normally react when asked if you're already married?"

Kaoru's jaw dropped. A hummingbird can probably fly inside and make a nest inside her mouth. She quickly clamped it shut before, letting out a battle cry: "You jerk! That's not of your business!" She lunged at Enishi, who smoothly slid out of her way and she tried another attack, swiping her feet from underneath him, which he also dodged by jumping away from her. He backed into the dojo and Kaoru followed, grabbing a bokken. Finally, a weapon she could use. She grinned in triumph and prepared to attack once again.

The bastard didn't even break a sweat as he effortless avoided her blows – and if he hadn't, she would've cracked his head. The whistling sound her bokken made every time she swung it towards Enishi filled the air.

Still, he sidestepped, graceful and damn it, oh so elegantly. It was almost as if he was dancing, his feet light and silent.

"Kuso, stay still!" Kaoru ordered, completely losing her patience, panting like a wild boar.

And the stupid fucking Yukishiro smirked at her.

Smirked! She was going to wipe that off of his beautiful face.

Wait.

WHAT?!

"I take it you aren't married yet." Enishi finally said, stepping into the line of her attack.

Gotcha!

But of course, like before, his hands clamped around her bokken, snatching it from her with restrained viciousness and throwing it somewhere against the wall where it noisily clattered.

Completely unperturbed by the events, Enishi then very casually asked her, "Do you want to go to Shanghai with me, Kamiya-san?"

And Kaoru thought, not for the first time in her life, that she was cursed to deal with incorrigible men that she would very much like to whack with her bokken.

Mou!

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Author's Note:

And that is what I have so far. I don't know what to do with it. Anyway, tell me what you think. This fic is borne out of the sheer frustration of The Final and how Jinchuu Arc, which I am now calling the Cursed Arc for obvious reasons– had been - watered down seems too kind, ne?

But I'll rant some more if I can manage to have a second chapter up. Maybe.

Lastly, I typed this all up really fast while pretending to work so, if there are any typos, annoying grammatical errors, I promise I'll come back and try to fix them. I hope.

Translations and notes:

The hour of the hare: 6:00 a.m.

Anmitsu is a traditional Japanese dessert, traced back to the Meiji era (1868 to 1912). It consists of cubes of agar jelly, which are made using water and/or different fruit juices. Typically served in a bowl, with toppings like slices of fruit and sweet red bean paste. The dessert is also served with a sweet black syrup, kuromitsu,(the -mitsu in anmitsu) that's poured over the treat just before you enjoy it.

Taiyaki - Fish shaped cakes filled with anko (red bean paste)

Chūdan-no-kamae is the middle posture used in kenjutsu. The most basic stance, it allows for a balance between attacking and defense. When performed correctly, the practitioner's trunk and right wrist are protected

#enikao #enishi x kaoru #kenkao #kenshin x kaoru x enishi love triangle of death #kidding #sort of #take this The Final #hahaha #no really #rurouni kenshin fanfic #rurouni kenshin #i'm done

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eberles · 3 years

Text

December Together

Jamie Oleksiak

request: your first Christmas as an engaged couple, plus first christmas living together with big rig 🥺

a/n: i changed the engaged part a bit, but i hope you like it🥺 the end is superrrr cringey it’s whatever, writing this gave me so many big rig feeeelsssssss and im ugh i miss him

warnings: tooth decaying sweetness, with extra fluff, one (1) swear, intended lowercase

jamie asked you to move in with him just a few months ago after a year and a half together and you were beyond ecstatic. living with jamie had proved to be everything you thought it would be and more. unfortunately, jamie made you wait until december 1st to start decorating for christmas and as much as that bummed you out, you respected his decision. but once the first came you guys bought your first tree together and a few cute decorations to go around the house. you bought one of those cheesy “christmas 2020” ornaments that had a space for a picture. both deciding it would be cute to have your pittie puppy, molly, wear a santa hat for the photo.

“molly, look over here!” you had your best puppy voice on, holding up one of molly’s toys so she would look at the camera. You had her wearing a cute santa hat and she was sat in front of your christmas tree, with a wide smile on her little face. “she’s so fucking cute.”

“she’s the best, we should send these out on our christmas cards too.” jamie said, taking as many pictures of molly as he could while she was still in her position. once you got the perfect shot, you made sure to give her treats and lots of pettings. while you guys were sitting on the couch going through the photos, your phone started ringing.

“can we bring anything for christmas day?” your mom asked over the phone on speaker with you and jamie.

“no, just yourselves please.” jamie said politely, and you rolled your eyes already knowing your parents would never show up empty handed. you were both excited to be hosting christmas in your house together for the first time, but as the days grew closer you noticed jamie starting to get a bit nervous. your parents loved him so you weren’t sure where the nerves were coming from, but he denied it every time you tried to ask and distracted you with a kiss by holding a mistletoe high above your head.

“heyyyyy, i miss you.” jamie said, frown adorning his face walking into the kitchen seeing the island covered with different dessert trays. he took a position behind you standing at the stove and rested his hands on your hips. “you’ve been in here all day.”

“bub, there’s lots to do.” jamie turned you around to face him, his hands moving into the back pockets of your jeans. “if you miss me so much, you could help me.”

“i’m not much of a baker, babe.” jamie laughed, not budging when you pushed at his chest, instead ducking down to whisper in your ear, “look up.”

you looked up to see mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, that you were sure wasn’t there this morning. you felt your face heat up slightly looking back at your boyfriend to see a smirk on his face. “fine, one kiss.”

you gave jamie a quick kiss on the lips before attempting to move out of his grasp when he stopped you giving you the “you call that a kiss?” look. you laughed, shaking your head and leaning up to give him a proper kiss, jamie humming in satisfaction. “okay! brownie time!”

the next day you woke up before your alarm feeling the sunlight coming through the large windows in your bedroom. you rolled over facing jamie and saw that he was already awake, staring at the ceiling.

“good morning, bub.” you smiled when he turned on his side to face you and caressed the side of your face lightly. “merry christmas!”’

“merry christmas, angel.” jamie spoke softly, a genuine smile on his face. you guys spent a little while in bed cuddling with molly and talking about how the day would go before getting up.

after a few hours of cooking and making sure the house was spotless you both felt like you were ready for your guests. your family hadn't seen your house yet, except for pictures you sent to your mom when she asked after you first moved in. jamie’s family was staying home for christmas and you guys planned to go to them the week after the holiday to celebrate with them since they’ve already seen your home.

“jamie, they’re gonna be here in a few minutes, is everything ready?” you asked, looking in the mirror one last time to perfect your outfit.

“baby, please breathe.” jamie had his hands on both sides of your face, forcing you to look up into his eyes as he spoke. he kissed your forehead before continuing, “everything looks great, tonight will be amazing.”

your parents showed up not long after, a dessert and a bottle of wine in hand as expected. you gave them a tour of your rather big house and they met molly for the first time, giving her most of the attention. you guys all sat down for dinner together before moving onto the gift portion of the evening.

“um, i just want to start this by saying thank you guys for coming all the way here to celebrate with us.” jamie said, and you were looking at him confused, not aware he had a speech prepared. “today might not be the best day to do this, but since it’s so close to the new year, i decided i can’t start another year without doing this.”

“jamie…” you whispered, looking around at your parents and seeing your mom with tears in her eyes and gasping quietly to yourself before looking back up at your boyfriend. he kneeled down in front of you grabbing your hand and holding out a ring in the other.

“y/n, will you marry me?” jamie asked, finally feeling a weight lifted off his shoulders since he no longer had to hold it in anymore.

“yes yes! yes!” there were tears in your eyes and you both stood letting jamie place the ring on your finger before wrapping your arms around him. he hugged you back lifting you off the ground effortlessly before placing you back down and kissing you.

“merry christmas, baby.” jamie said, running his hands up and down the sides of your arms, blinking away tears of his own.

“this is the best christmas ever!” you laughed, the tears still falling down your face as you went over to show your parents the ring.

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taglist:

@sortagaysortahigh @sweeterthansammy @butgilinsky @kiedhara @bestestbenn @taiter-tots @jjmaybanksbaby @jamiedrysdales @ana-maa @iamtheblondestblonde @elitebarzal @softboybarzal @himbos-on-ice @dreamypeaches @mycaptaintazer @dunnerbarzal @anthonybeauvy @sidscrosbyy @calgarycanuck @celestialblae @jackiesquinn @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows @klingeroopesalove

#jamie oleksiak #jamie oleksiak imagine #jamie oleksiak x reader #jamie okelsiak blurbs #dallas stars #nhl writing

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