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#mentions depression
theworldofotps · 2 years
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I’m Here (Monthly Flow)
Pairing: Mustafa Ali x Reader Word Count: 849 Description: Your flow this month was hit harder by your depression, Mustafa reminds you he’s got you.
Requested by @alination I hope you enjoy this lovely! __________ Tag list:  @omg-im-such-a-masochist @damnnhausen @new-zealand-chic @writtingrose @sjwrites22 @sassymox @mrsacklesevansmgk @xladyxfatex @biforrollynch @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @demonqueen29 @itsicantbelievethis666 @lilred91 @xbreezymeadowsx @rebellious-desires @thiccc-rider-mcintyre @letsgivethisonemoreshot @alination @ava-valerie @shortyiceheart @serpantscorpio8497 @thatpanpal @thatnerdwriter @wrestlersownmyheart @vebner37 @cuzimacomedian @auburnwrites @aews-four-pillars  @seeingstarks @whenimakeitshine1234 @melblacc @alliwant456 @elevennbloom If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. _________ ‘Good morning beautiful I’ll be home soon I can’t wait to see you.’  ‘Only four hours to go wake up sleepy head’  ‘On the plane now see you in a bit baby xx’  ‘Just landed I’m on my way’
Something wasn’t right. Was all that Mustafa could think of as he buckled into the Uber that was taking him from the airport back home. He’d been texting y/n all morning and never got an answer back which wasn’t like her. Sure she maybe busy but she’d always at least let him know his message had been seen. Be it with an emoji or hell even just hearting the message. He didn’t want to jump to any conclusions about anything. Which is why he was hoping this ride would be quick and then he could see her for himself.
Lightly tapping his fingers on his knee Mustafa watches the city pass by as they soon approach his house. Grabbing his bag he thanks the driver and gets out grabbing his key out and quickly making his way to the front door. 
“Baby. Are you home?”
Slipping off his shoes and relocking the door Mustafa listens for any sound that you may be around. Your shoes were by the door and house keys still hanging on the hook. Making his way through the downstairs he stops turning around when he hears footsteps on the stairs. 
“Y/n?” 
Quickly making your way down the steps you walk into the kitchen practically knocking him over as you suddenly stop. Hugging you close the relief he felt at holding you was quickly replaced by concern when he felt your shoulders shaking. 
“Hey hey beautiful what’s wrong? Are you hurt, did something happen? I’ve been trying to reach you all day I was worried when I didn’t get a response. You’re okay I got you, I’m here know you’re okay.”
He coos softly kissing the top of your head as he rubs your back, picking you up Mustafa makes his way up to your bedroom. Your grip on him never loosening as you hid your face in his chest. Carefully laying down he adjusts you both so you’d be comfortable and he simply waits. What exactly he was waiting for he wasn’t sure. A sign you would be okay, a reason why you hadn’t answered. Whatever it was he knew you’d tell him when you were ready.
Glancing around the bedroom he was a bit surprised to see your normal organized room a bit disordered. That usually didn’t happen unless and that’s when it hit him. Sometimes when your monthly flow came your depression hit harder then normal. And he could almost bet with him being gone that this one was more difficult for you to manage. 
Making a mental note he continued to rub your back having finally got you unwrapped from the blanket enough that he could touch skin. He knew you’d enjoy that, having the contact would help ground you. Remind you that even when everything in your head was piling up that he was still there. 
And that’s how the two of you laid for the next hour, him holding you to his chest. Talking softly about his trip and all that he go to do. Going on about missing you and how he wanted to spend this time at home just the two of you.
“Baby? Do you wanna try a little something to eat or drink? I’m assuming your period came and you need to take some medicine for cramps. Want me to get that for you?”
Pressing a kiss to your head he waits for a nod then after placing you in his spot he gets up and begins moving around. First picking up some bits and pieces as he made his way to the bathroom. He’d get what you needed and maybe even a hot bath just something the two of you could do together and something to help make you feel refreshed.
Grabbing everything you’d need he starts a nice hot bath to help relax the muscles and hopefully bring you some relief. Adding your favorite oils and salts he walks back out and smiles.
“Come on beautiful, let's get you in that bath.”
Together the two of you make your way into the bathroom and Mustafa kisses your forehead. Making quick work to undress you both he offers his hand allowing you to step in the bath first. Then following behind you he sits arms wrapping around you. A soft groan falls from your lips as you lean against his chest.
“Thank you for this babe, I appreciate it and thank you for being understanding. I’m sorry that I didn’t answer your texts. Things have just been really hard lately. Feels like I’m losing it.”
“It’s alright, I’m just happy you’re okay even just physically. I was really worried about you. If you’ll let me we’ll work on that together. Right now just let me pamper my beloved.”
Mustafa whispers, kissing your temple as his hold around you tightens.
“I’m always going to be here for you.”
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prokopetz · 8 months
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Historically, the American animation industry has recognised only two types of cartoons aimed at adult audiences:
The animated sitcom
Martial arts action with tits and gore
I'm watching the Fionna and Cake miniseries right now, and I genuinely think we're witnessing the emergence of a third broadly accepted option: whimsical fantasy adventure in the mode of popular children's programming, except everyone is clinically depressed.
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111nyx555 · 1 year
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*Kicks open door
Hello there~~~
I have mental illness. It is so bad, I will become physically sick if I don't want to do something. (I am getting help)
I'm also in school (9th). I have not gone to school this whole year because of the previously given reasons. Once Christmas holidays end I will go back to school. Christmas holidays end in 3 days. I cannot stress enough how busy everyone in my family is, all the fucking time.
I need new school shoes. (Shoes like to break after not being worn for a hot minute)
I need a haircut. (I have a uniform, which requires me to braid my hair everyday, something Idc enough to do)
I have assignments I learnt of today. (I don't have the fucking materials and it seems my parents have forgotten I am still in school and need stationary)
Also for whatever it's worth I HAVE THREE DAYS TO DO ALL THIS
I AM 14 THE CLOSEST SHOE STORE IS 4 KILOMETRES AWAY AND MOST SALONS ARE BOOKED BECAUSE IT'S CHRISTMAS
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lostmf · 5 months
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I’m not sure I deserve it ..
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cemeterything · 7 months
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lakrimasx · 8 months
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Death being described as eternal sleep is always so comforting to me
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kokainekatze · 12 days
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starving so I can take more pictures for him
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suic1dewh0re · 3 months
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Wanting to die is such a hard feeling
You know you're not supposed to be here, but you still go to sleep and wake up.
It doesn't matter how hurt you are and how much you hurt yourself, you'll never have the satisfaction of death
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wolfythewitch · 2 months
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Another hi, also could you tell me more about your love for Odysseus? I think this is super interesting. I always struggled to like him. I mean he lived through so many adventures but he also seems to forget his family and live his life happily with other women. I always pitied Penelope so much. So I always wanted to strangled him. I mean I love bad characters but how he he basically says "wife son kingdom I missed you so much. I never forget you." feels super wrong because at the same time he tasted so much half the women of the Greek islands. :/ So idk I simply want to know why you feel in love with him? That would be super interesting for me. But you don't need to answer this if you don't want to. I understand if you don't want or don't have time.
I'm not going to lie I kept trying to answer this and then getting mad lmao
Anyways. "Tasted half the women of the Greek islands" is a gross way to say he slept with two goddesses, one of which he did under hermes' reccomendation
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and the other blatantly against his will. The latter of which, by the way, kept him trapped on an island for 7 years, in which every day he would go to the shore and cry for home.
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Technically in some version he was also given hecuba after the war? Though she isn't present in the Odyssey so I'm not really counting that
Insert this fun little passage
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What a fun passage.
Here's another one where he stayed up for 9 days straight to make sure he got home
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You know how he lived many adventures? It's because he kept trying to go home. He did not live his life happily with other women. He stayed one year on Circe's island and that's maybe the closest you can attribute to that, but he had also just lost 11 of his 12 ships and men so I'm inclined to give him a break. 7 years were spent trapped on Ogygia. The other 2 years were spent sailing around trying to get home
He also constantly talks about his son in the iliad, as well as Penelope. Not as much in the Odyssey because you don't talk about your son and wife to strangers
Here are some more fun passages for fun
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Very fun.
I'm not really sure why I keep getting asks like this considering I Am a blog primarily that posts about Odysseus, or why so many people think he was prancing around Greece fucking women left and right but okay
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theworldofotps · 1 year
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Letter From The Road
Superstar: Anyone your lil heart desires Word Count: 402 ~A series in which I write letters from superstars to their partner or friend back home while they’re touring.~
Hello my loves, I haven’t had any desire or motivation to write lately. It’s been like this for a few months now. But I managed to pop this out. Personally things haven’t been going well for me mentally lately and I just felt like this was a nice way to let a little of it out.
TW: This letter is a bit depressing and mentions depression so please be careful reading. _________ Tag list: @omg-im-such-a-masochist @melissahausen @new-zealand-chic @writtingrose @sjwrites22 @sassymox @mrsacklesevansmgk @xladyxfatex @biforrollynch @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @demonqueen29 @itsicantbelievethis666 @lilred91 @xbreezymeadowsmunsonx @rebellious-desires @thiccc-rider-mcintyre @letsgivethisonemoreshot @mcreignsera @ava-valerie @shortyiceheart @serpantscorpio8497 @thatpanpal @thatnerdwriter @wrestlersownmyheart @vebner37 @auburnwrites @aews-four-pillars @seeingstarks @whenimakeitshine1234 @cherrytheeredheadmamaclaymore @blaquekitty @ironshamelessyouth @melblacc @alliwant456 @elevennbloom @cuzimacomedian
If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. ________
To my dearest Y/n, I’m sure that you getting this letter was the last thing you expected. Given the fact we text and talk on the phone as often as we can. Which I love, but for some reason I just feel it’s better to write this all out. I know I don’t do it often apart from the notes I leave you around the house. But it’s comfortable writing to you, and honestly I'm still debating on whether or not I’ll send this. There’s just somethings that are better written out at least for me so I can have all of my thoughts in one place.
I find myself not wanting to get out of bed. I barely find the motivation to get up for work. I’ve missed two house shows already because I just couldn’t be bothered to leave my hotel room. I’m tired babe, feel so overwhelmed and lost. Like I’m not going to find my way back to shore again. Sometimes the days just blur together and it takes everything in me to figure out the date.
I keep trying to remember what you’ve told me. Take each day one at a time, even getting out of bed long enough to do a walk around my room. I’m trying. Doing my best to not let this heavy feeling weigh me down but some days are harder then others. Facing it by myself is more difficult without you here, I miss you. Miss having someone to remind me it’s going to be okay. Remind me that I’m more than my depression. That even on days when it seems like things will never get better for me, you know they will.
I’ve felt lost for a long time, these feelings come and go more times then not they stick around. But knowing I have you, knowing you’re always cheering me on helps. I love you and I’m going to do my best to keep hanging on. I just have to keep trying.                                    I’ll see you soon                                        Love yours.
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wa1tngtill1d13 · 1 year
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avephelis · 3 months
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just troll with it au. because riptide killed my theythemma okay.
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lostmf · 9 months
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“Parents aren’t supposed to bury their kids “
I tell myself
But then parents aren’t supposed to do a lot of things to their children
So I guess it won’t matter if they did this one more thing
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rinhaler · 6 months
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You Deserve Roses and You Know This
✧˖*°࿐ : 18+ only, no minors.    ✧. ┊ ex!Toji Fushiguro x f!reader
Genre: Smut & Angst Notes: reposting from my old account! Warnings: 18+, dubcon, vaginal sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), nipple play, dacryphilia, pregnancy, abortion ideation, miscarriage, depression, adultery, breeding, creampie ♡, smoking mention. Words: 4.1k
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“Is it true? Did talking to Megumi make you cry today?” Toji asks you, peeling down your bra strap before sensually decorating your exposed shoulder in delicate kisses.
He didn’t notice, but as soon as the question left his tongue you had instinctively become dead behind the eyes. It was true. You’re an adult, and yet you were brought to tears by his seven-year-old son. It wasn’t that he said anything callous, quite the opposite, really. Earlier that day, Megumi had been sitting playing in your front room. You were babysitting, as you often did, while Toji and his wife were working. Your eyes hold shut as you remember his wife; his beautiful and kind wife while he continues littering your skin in adoration. You shouldn’t be doing this, but you can’t stop now.
Green sparkling eyes looked up from innocent children’s toys to pose you a question – “Why do you hate me?” he asked, genuinely. It was like a knife through your chest. You didn’t hate him. You could never hate him, Toji being partly responsible for his existence is enough reason to adore him with everything you have.
You just wish he was yours.
Toji is patient when he gets his time with you. It’s rare, after all, and he wants to make the most of it. Two large palms settle on your breasts, the straps are down but your bra is still firmly in place. He massages your flesh over the material, lips traversing the expanse of your body until he reaches your pulse point. He licks, slowly, hot eager breath contrasting your own temperature and making you shudder. This, he notices, pulling your back even closer into his chest. His left hand slowly yet forcefully moves up and down your adjacent arm, desperate to dispel the goosebumps that have formed on your skin. He suckles and licks on your ear lobe before nibbling it softly between his teeth. His breathing changes, his mouth level with your ear, he’s going to speak.
“Baby… what were you talking about?” he sighs, an even more chill inducing breath warms the shell of your ear. He pecks against it, the sound of tactile lips puckering slithers directly through your ear canal. You moan, unintentionally, and back further into your temporary lover. He holds your breasts once more; stabilising you, if only a little, as you begin to grind your core against his crotch.
“I- I can’t, Toji—”
Your attention is fixated on him as his hand encases half of your face and turns you to face him. But you both find yourselves closing your eyes as he places a kiss against your lips. It’s slow, yet heated, and you feel him smile into you when he hears you moan into his mouth pathetically. You’re well and truly at his mercy, though you aren’t embarrassed. How else should one act and behave around the love of their life?
“You can and you will,” he explains, biting your lip as he parts from the kiss. A singular string of saliva keeps you connected for a second before snapping. “you can’t have secrets with my son darlin’, you just can’t. So tell me, what were you talkin’ to him about?”
You gulp, nerves overcoming you like never before. Your eyes flutter shut yet again as he diverts his attention from your eyes to your body. The skin behind your ear is the next subject of his eroticism. And yet, he has the gall to chastise you for enjoying it. With one more repetition of tell me you realise you can’t stall anymore. Out of options. And you can’t lie.
“R-Rocco, ah—!”
“How does Megumi know about Rocco?”
“I- I told… him…”
He hikes your leg up so that you’re sitting on his lap like a little girl. The kissing has stopped and the touches have halted. Toji isn’t patient except with you. He’s never looked as furious as he does now, with you. Brows scrunched and the glimmer in his eye you love so much has ceased to exist. His scar looks as raw as it did the day he got it. A non-existent armour made you believe he wouldn’t mind you talking to his son about such a sensitive subject matter, but apparently it is not to be discussed under any terms.
“Don’t you ever talk to my son about Rocco again. D’ya hear me? Never.” he forbids, his eyes seem to soften ever so slightly when he spots that you can’t prevent the way your lip begins to wobble. “If you really wanna talk about Rocco, talk to me. Yeah? No one else, just me.”
“Y-You don’t let me—” you start, your thought isn’t completed. Thoughts are rattled from your mind as he begins manoeuvring you so that your back is flat against the mattress, jade green eyes boring into your very soul as he hovers above you. His arms dip behind your back, finally unhooking your bra and baring your chest to him.
Beautiful, he thinks.
“I’m letting you now.” he explains, his head resting on your chest, looking up with intent behind his salacious stare. He latches onto one of your protruding nipples, taking it between his cracked lips. He sucks and pecks, and it’s almost lazy, but you know it’s with purpose. It’s driving you wild, you can’t help but wriggle helplessly beneath him, desperate to gain some relief on your eager heat.
He pins one of your legs down, stopping you from continuing your movements. It’s torture, you think, he’s expecting you to broach such a heavy subject matter while you’re so desperate for his touch.
“C’mon sweetheart… talk about Rocco,” he commands. You can’t. Tears stream down your face as you do your best to experience Toji whilst thinking back to the past. Your mind spins and you feel as if you can’t breathe. He releases your nipple with an accentuated pop as he smirks up at you. “I remember how scared you were to tell me… when you realised—”
“Fuck, Toji.” you croon, a mischievous finger slithered down your abdomen down the length of your clothed slit. Feather light touches against your clit and your entrance forced your hips to buck upwards carelessly. He snickered, repeating the action again and again. “I- I remember.” you stutter.
You’d only been dating for thirteen weeks. He was yours before his wife entered the fray, before you had to battle for his time and attention. Nerves got the better of you, the thought of admitting to yourself what you already knew made you nauseous beyond any description.
Your period was late.
It was something you didn’t want to acknowledge, let alone inform Toji of. It had been so little time since you began dating. You thought he’d leave you, run away and never look back. So, there was only one thing for it. An abortion. You couldn’t keep the baby if you wanted to keep him. It was your only option. You were stressed, manic, exhausted. But at least you’d have Toji – that was all you cared about.
“You were so scared to tell me, weren’t ya?” he asks, hooking a finger beneath your panties before settling it in your inner thigh crease. He plunges a finger inside of you, chuckling when more obscenities fly from your mouth as your head falls backwards into the plush pillows. One of your hand grips the sheets below, whilst your other almost tears his hair from the roots. So little attention, and yet such a big reaction from you. “Thought so little of me, baby, ‘m sorry.” he finishes, adding a second finger to your scorching heat. It's almost as if the air in your lungs has frozen, weighing you down. It’s preventing you from speaking. From breathing. Even thinking.
It was confirmed when you finally took the plunge and decided to do a pregnancy test. Big, black, bold text told you the answer and where your future was heading. Motherhood, for certain. But you knew you had to take care of it before Toji became suspicious. It was something you didn’t even want him to know you were going through. Everything with him was perfect, it wasn’t something you wanted to ruin over something you believed could be easily taken care of.
So… why were you crying every day?
That’s what he asked you. You hadn’t been yourself, and that is what gave you away. Jokes he told that you found funny didn’t seem so funny anymore. The way he traced his fingers up and down your arms made you defensive, and paranoid. You didn’t want him to touch you in case he somehow sensed it in his fingertips. If he felt you he might just know that you’re carrying his child and he’ll skip out on you.
It all came to a head one day after you finished throwing up. You couldn’t keep your cries silent. Your body was betraying you, you felt hurt in ways you never had before and it was becoming impossible to keep it all to yourself. You didn’t dare tell a soul for fear of Toji finding out through the grapevine. But enough was enough, he thought.
“You need to tell me what’s going on with you.” he told you, but you shook your head.
“I can’t Toji, please. Trust me, I can’t.” you explained, “It’s fine… I will ruin everything if I tell you so… so I’m… I’m taking care of it—”
“Cut that shit out right now. This has been going on a fuckin’ while and I can’t stand to see you like this,” he responded, moving his head as you moved yours. You were trying to avoid his piercing glare, but he wouldn’t let you. He couldn’t. He’d never of forgiven himself if you carried on like that, unable to share your woes, and did something you might regret. “Trust me, I’m beggin’ you to trust me, baby.”
He forced you to sit down, and face him. He wiped away your tears with his thumbs and kept all of his attention focused on you as he watched you calm yourself down. Tear filled breaths that clogged your lungs fizzled into shaky exhales the longer you held eye contact with Toji. He wasn’t going anywhere, for now. If you explain you can tell him your plans. Maybe he’d support you if he knew you planned on freeing you both of the burden of parenthood, you hoped.
“I… I’m, uh—”
“Yeah? C’mon sweetheart, doin’ so good f’me just use your words.” he spoke, doing his best to tempt the truth out of you. With one final swallow of terror and closing your eyes for a moment to think, you finally found the courage to confess.
“I’m pregnant,” you blurted out quickly. “but it’s okay I’m gonna get rid of it. Okay?” you fumbled out words quicker than you could think. You just wanted him to know that there was no way you’d be keeping the baby. He was what you needed, not a kid. “Please, I promise I’m going to get rid of it, this is why I didn’t want to tell you. D-Don’t leave me, p-please. You are more important to me than a baby, I just want you. I—”
Your rambling was stifled as Toji pressed a finger to your lips. He kissed you on your forehead, a warm smile filled his features. Instantly, you were relived. It meant that your idea of an abortion was enough to convince him to stand by you. There was no reason to worry yourself sick like that, he was going to support you through it all.
“You don’t have to get rid of our baby,” he smiled.
“W-What?”
“In fact, I don’t want you to do that at all.” he warmly spoke, pulling your body into his and forcing his head between the valley of your breasts. It wasn’t sexual, it was just a comfort to him to hear your heartbeat. “Maybe… we could start our own little family, huh?”
Tears roll down your eyes as you reminisce on it all whilst Toji adds his flat tongue to the equation of his fingers in your cunt. It’s all so romantic and wonderful and intense. You don’t think you’ve ever been happier than you were in that moment. The moment you knew he really would stand by you through anything at all. And despite your assumption, he was excited to become a father. He was excited to have a baby with you.
“I love you, Toji.” you speak, softly, unsure if it was even loud enough for him to hear. Oh, but he did. He doesn’t want to stop lapping at your swollen clit, knowing it’s exactly where you need the most attention right now. But a particularly harsh suckle and pop of the bead is a silent acknowledgement, he promises he heard you. “Gonna… gonna cum. T-Toji—”
“No no, baby, not yet,” he instructs. He removes his fingers from your hole, delicately rubbing them over your sensitive bundle of nerves instead. It’s slow and tormenting, but he doesn’t want you to cum like this. “I was so happy when we found out we were havin’ a little boy, y’know? So damn happy princess.”
You remember it well. Your emotions were running high and you had the ability to blame your hormones when you discovered the gender of your unborn child. But you couldn’t quite believe it when you looked over to see Toji’s eyes, eyes that are normally so strict and stern, glossy with tears on his lash line. He couldn’t help it, he claimed.
“Look what we made.” he pointed, the scan revealing perfectly what a handsome little boy you’d made together.
And later that day, he took you shopping. Money was no object. That is what you both decided. Neither of you could believe how much stuff you ended up buying. Paints for the nursery. A crib. Other necessary pieces of furniture. Toys. Clothes. Everything you thought you needed, you bought. You were both first time parents and completely clueless. So, if a shop assistant recommended it, you bought it.
You spent so much time together painting the walls of your baby’s new room. Toji was very irritable when you kept asking what to do and how to help. The paint wasn't going on as nicely as he hoped and his temper flared, it was extremely evident in his face. What do you do when you see an angry bear? Poke it with a stick. Or in this case, flick paint from the end of your brush at him. When he noticed what you had done and he turned to face you, you swear you could read murder on his mind. But when you began to laugh, he couldn’t help the laugh that snuck out of him.
There was more paint on the two of you than on the walls by the end of it.
“That was the day we decided to call him Rocco…” Toji mused.
He began to kiss up towards your naval and back to your neck. Your fingers laced through his hair as you begged for him to deliver the same salvation he was offering your body to your lips as well. He complied, slow patience had dwindled as your tongues found each other. It was wet, heated, sloppy. You felt yourself drooling out of the corners of your mouth, Toji Fushiguro is just so intoxicating. A drug you can’t quit though you know you should.
He’s all you have.
He doesn’t break the kiss from you, though his hand eventually meets his heavy, wanting cock. He guides it to your desperate entrance, lining it up perfectly before slotting himself inside. His hips roll, bullying his cock into you inch by agonising inch until your lip begins to quiver. He hushes you, though.
You both know you want it.
“I’m s-so – fuck – I’m so sorry, baby. I am so—”
“P-Please, pleaaaase stop.” you beg. He doesn’t. You are the one who wanted to talk about it. So desperate to talk about it that you went to a seven-year-old boy to discuss it. His son. “N-No more, I can’t—”
“It was the worst day of my life, too, I promise you that darlin’.” he mumbles in your ear. The thrum of his words rushes straight to your cunt, and you clench so hard around his cock you think he might have to stay there forever.
You don’t think you’ve ever been as embarrassed as you were when you came home from the hospital. Your pristine white maxi dress, stained in bright red blood by your crotch. The atmosphere in your house was foul. Two solemn adults who had lost everything in a few menial hours. Hollowness filled you, not a single emotion ran through you until you heard Toji a few rooms away. You sat on the sofa, turned on the TV and pretended it wasn’t happening. But you could hear Toji loud and clear.
He was in the nursery.
That was the first and only time you’ve ever heard him cry. A loud thud vibrated through you and you knew he had collapsed to the ground. Melancholy overtook him as his new reality was setting in. Your little boy was no more. No fault of your own, apparently, everyone made sure to repeat that enough times for it to really take root in the depths of your brain.
It didn’t help at all.
You couldn’t bring yourself to check on Toji. That would mean going into Rocco’s room and facing the truth yourself. So, you waited. You waited hours for him to finally come out. He came to see you, resting on the balls of his feet in front of the sofa where you sat. Fresh tears replaced old ones as he noticed the drying blood on your dress.
“H-How about a bath, huh?” he suggested.
You don’t remember saying yes, or nodding. But somehow, you found yourself naked and submerged in a bubble bath. It was like you had left your own body as he did his best to clean you. You could hear him sniffling. He was desperate to talk about it with you, all he wanted was for you to help each other cope. But you couldn’t. So, he did his best to lock it away too.
It was as if you had returned to yourself when Toji took a break from washing your hair to wipe more tears from his eyes. A soft mumbling of ‘Oh, Godddddd…’ trailed from his lips as he tried to pull himself together. And finally, your lip began to jut out helplessly. Your eyes scrunched, and the tears began to flow. You were staring at your bloody dress, and listening to him try and hold it together. It was all equating to too much.
It was real, now.
“Our… baby—” you cut yourself off with a wail, Toji pulled you into his hold and sobbed into your sodden locks.
He hissed with each thrust inside of your gummy walls. A perfect home for him in the form of your bodies fitting together like perfect puzzle pieces. He doesn’t feel like this with his wife, only you. He couldn’t stay away, he’d never be able to do that.
He loves you.
He loves you.
Fuck, he loves you.
“’m not good enough… I’ve never been—”
“Stop it, baby. You are enough, I promise.” he tells you through gritted teeth. It’s getting harder and harder to have a normal conversation while he is fucking you so intimately. Every ounce of his love poured into every devastating thrust.
He loves you.
“Wasn’t good enough for you, or our- our baby.”
“Stop it darlin’. Please stop. I- I need—”
“I can’t live like this-!” you cry out. His hand covers your mouth entirely as his mind tries to process what he needs to say to you. Christ. What does he need to say to you? Everything and nothing all at once. He thinks he should start with I love you. But is he prepared to open that can of worms?
“I need… you. I’m gonna leave her, yeah? My wife. Let’s… try again. Me and you, hah? I won’t pull out this time, let me… let me—”
“Tojiiiii—”
“You’re good enough, baby, more than good enough. I’ll cum inside and we can try again. I need to, I need to.”
Your tears stream endlessly but silently. Is this really what you want? Do you want him to break up his family to satiate your unfulfilled desires? It doesn’t matter. You find yourself nodding anyway. Perhaps it will dull the ache inside of you. It could be the plaster to cover to puncture wound in your aching heart; it’s been bleeding since that day.
Toes begin to curl as he continuously batters the spongy centre that spells your eventual undoing with his fat cock head. He isn’t doing much better. Nobody and nothing will compare to the rush and the high he feels as when your precious cunt swallows him again and again.
“Gonna- cum, with me. Please, baby. Cum with me now.” Toji pants.
Your lips are on his again, both of you focusing on your impending climaxes. The way you break away to moan momentarily before smothering each other in kisses yet again is such a lewd, romantic, high that you can’t get enough of. He pounds you perfectly and it’s an arrangement neither of you have been able to let go of after all of these years.
“Oh God, I’m cumming- cumming baby…” he alerts you. You’re practically choking on your own orgasm as it swims through you. Nails dig into his back as you try and hold onto the feeling for as long as you can. He fills you with his warmth, heaving like a desperate animal while he breeds you to the brim.
What have you done?
Time wasn’t a healer for either of you. The days got harder and harder and you couldn’t even stomach looking at him. Each time you looked at him, you saw what could have been. What should have been. The father of your son. The man who was going to teach him everything he knew and help your little boy cause all kinds of mischief for you.
The man you thought could keep you both safe.
That’s how he found himself married to a woman he would never love as much as he loved you. There was a drift, it was aggressive and painful, yet necessary. But you found yourself brought back together a few years after Megumi was born. You were practically an aunt to his son. A second mother, even. A sordid little secret.
You don’t hate Megumi, you just wish he was yours.
The pair of you got changed after he had his post fuck cigarette, knowing you couldn’t risk dallying for fear of being caught. You didn’t doubt for a minute that if you called him in a few weeks and told him you were carrying his child, he’d kidnap Megumi and run away with you to start your new family life together. And you would love that, you’d love him. You’d love it all.
But, it isn’t right. Is it?
He grabs his car keys, readying himself to drive you home to be alone with your dark thoughts. Before you step outside, though, something plagues your mind. A question that you simply must know the answer to. He looks scared, honestly. The way you’re facing him and eyeing him up as the same words twist and circle through your mind. A heavy hand rests on your waist, the other on your cheek. He’s scared, it’s obvious, but he’s still encouraging you to talk.
“Do you ever think about Rocco?” you ask him, genuinely curious. Toji has never felt the need to bring him up, this is the first you’ve discussed him in years. It kills you to think that Toji has managed to shut out thoughts of his unborn son while you are plagued with them each and every waking moment of your pointless life.
And there it is. That warm, kind smile, that is the Toji you know and love.
“All of the time.”
Four simple words have you breaking down like you did that day in the bathtub. Your head is pulled into his chest as he holds you close and tightly, allowing you to bawl every emotion onto him. You can’t control yourself and you don’t want to stop. It’s fine, he thinks. It’s clear that you need it. At least you know something today that you didn’t know yesterday. One piece of information that might take some of the burden off your own shoulders.
At least you know you aren’t alone.
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© 2021 fuwushiguro | © 2023 rinhaler
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this is a repost from my old account
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meoanii · 4 months
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just updating some very old sims
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lgbtiwtv · 1 year
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god. god. the significance of the diary pages about claudia’s assault being torn out raggedly by Louis, clearly in a fit of guilt and anguish and trauma, vs the diary pages about louis mourning lestat and regretting killing him being removed with surgical control and precision. by armand. this wasn’t a heat of the moment action it was deliberate and calculated and I can’t stop thinking about it
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