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sacredthethreadgvf · 2 years

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The Keys to my Heart | Josh Kiszka x Reader | Pt. 1

Chapter Warnings: Angst. Swearing. Mentions of drinking and smoking. Mentions of poor mental health and depression. 18+ mentions of sex.

Minors DNI.

(if i missed anything PLS let me know!)

A/N: Okay its here! I'm super excited for how this story will go! I hope you all enjoy the first chapter! Talk to me about it, share your thoughts, suggestions, anything :) I changed this to a slow burn fic so I hope you all enjoy! Also I edit my own work so apologies in advance for any mistakes.

Word Count: 5.3k

The Florida Keys. Actual paradise on earth. Not that outer banks shit. Not that there's anything wrong with the outer banks mind you. The keys were just, well, prettier. I mean we are talking crystal blue water, palm trees, a balmy 85 degrees in the winter, white sandy beaches, I could go on but I'll spare you the details for right now. You always loved the Florida Keys. You and your parents had been going there to escape the rough Michigan winters ever since you were in middle school and more often than not, spend a few weeks down there as well during your summer breaks. Your family was always accompanied by your next door neighbors, the Kiszkas whenever you came down here, usually renting a house on the beach for one week out of the year. You were close with the Kiszkas, the twin boys to be exact, Jake and Josh. When you moved into the house next to them when you were about 8 years old and they were 9. They quickly took a liking to you, calling you their little shadow. You often spent your summers tagging along behind them while they explored the woods, the creeks, and everything nature had to offer to you. Karen, the boy's mom, treated you like one of her own children. Always making sure to drag you along on whatever family adventure they were going on. Whether that was camping out, going to the zoo, water parks, movie nights. It was rare to not have you around. Ronnie soon became like a younger sister to you and Sam, well, like the annoying little brother you always wanted. Since you were an only child being “adopted” into your next door neighbors crazy family antics always filled you up with happiness and made you feel whole. You never had a boring moment in your life. You would spend your afternoons after school with the family doing homework or just simply hanging out. You wouldn't have wanted to grow up any other way. Your families usually spent holidays together too since you and your parents didn't have much extended family yourself. It was nice to have such a big and welcoming family for the holidays right next door.

Once your teenage years started and you began to blossom you became the twins subject for approval with everything. Jake and Josh often asked for your opinions on girls, clothing, hair styles, hobbies, and you didn't mind one bit. You helped Jake get over the fear of his first kiss by being a willing test subject and Josh the fear of stage fright by joining him in the theater as his little sidekick. You always bounced back and forth with crushes on the boys and they, you. You became the subject of a few brotherly brawls which Karen had to break up more often than not. When the band started to form, and you spent most of your days listening in on band practice. Offering opinions here and there for how the boys could tweak their music but never overstepping their musical boundaries. They started to pick up traction when they would perform in Frankenmuth on the weekends and also in the little bars in the Keys as well when you would visit during your summers.Then finally, in 2017, they made their big break. Signing with a record label and gaining quick traction with their EPs. You were so excited for them but couldn't help to feel a pang of sadness when you would travel down to the keys with your parents, the boys’ parents and Ronnie for a week out of the year and they couldn't follow. You missed them dearly but you were so happy for them and plus you were busy with college anyways setting up a life for yourself.

Which takes us to now for a moment. Here you are sitting on a plane staring out the window at the earth below you headed to the Florida Keys. You couldn't pass up the opportunity when Jake called you late one night while you were studying to inform you that the boys had bought a home along the beach and water in the keys and he invited you down for a few weeks to catch up on old times, parents not included this time around. Of course you couldn't say no to one of your best friends. He even offered to pay for your plane ticket which you fought him about but eventually gave in when he insisted it could be an early birthday present and that he, and the other boys were dying to see you even though you felt a slight pang in your heart at the thought of seeing all of them again.

Don't get me wrong, you were excited to see all the boys and catch up on old times. All of them except Josh. You were nervous to see Josh. Josh and you were very close to dating before the band blew up and they started touring more. At least that's what it seemed like to you but maybe you were just being delusional. You and him had formed a special sort of bond with one another before the band really gained traction. Late night calls started happening more often than not, there were many stolen kisses in bathrooms at bars, glances across the room, lingering touches that made your skin ignite with fire, one on one movie nights where you would both critique the screenplay and laugh for hours until your stomachs hurt or he would end up comforting you while you both cried to a sad ending. There were even a few secret dates no one knew about. But that's just it. It was a secret to everyone but you two and the world around you. See, you and him decided that with him having his life on the road and the constant studio time he needed when he wasn't touring these days, and you with so much work to do in school that it would be easiest to just keep things casual and not commit at the given time. You know, a simple fling of sorts. Despite that and both of your hesitations to commit to each other, it didn't mean that you didn't spend a lust filled night together, exploring each other's bodies and taking each other to new heights before he had traveled across the country on the boy’s most recent tour that started 9 months ago.

But after they left, it was complete radio silence from Josh which sent you spiraling. Did anything you two experienced mean nothing to him? Had all of his romantic gestures and energy he gave to you was just to string you along? Keep you around and as a play thing? More importantly, what about your fucking freindship?! You had spent a few weeks after the boys left moping around in your apartment depressed as shit eating ice cream and crying to dumb rom coms just to get over Josh and his noticeable absence from your life now. You weren't sure what you were expecting from Josh after he left. I mean you two never made it official despite your feelings for him that of course you idiotically never admitted to him out of fear and pride. But holy shit, he was just going to leave town and forget you ever existed on this planet after years of knowing him? In this time period you ignored calls and texts from your friends and even Jake and Sam when they would check in occasionally with you to tell you about how the tour was going. Only occasionally would you get drunk and text Josh to try and get a response from him, but you never got anything back and holy shit that made you hurt worse and usually meant that you would spend a day not getting out of bed at all. Your sadness eventually turned to pure rage. Fuck Josh. Fuck everything about this. And hell, if Josh didn’t want to respond to you? Then you weren’t wasting your time responding to any of your friends trying to check up on you..

After a few weeks, one of your best friends came over to drag you out of your hiding spot in your apartment and started helping you get your life back on track. You eventually started returning calls and texts to your other friends, including the boys and never bothered to reach out to Josh anymore. But every once in a while on a wine fueled night, you would sneak away from your best friend who practically lived with you at this point to hide in the bathroom to stare at Josh's contact in your phone, debating if you should even call. Most of the time your sadness about basically losing Josh would turn into anger and you would throw your phone onto the counter and walk out of the bathroom. This method worked most of the time but of course it had failed a few times as well and every time you would get Josh's voicemail you would start to cry again.

One night you broke down and called Jake and told him everything that had happened between you and Josh. You couldn't take it anymore and you needed to know why Josh was ignoring you. Jake sat on the other end of the phone mildly stunned at your admission of your little relationship with Josh. While he was always suspicious of you two whenever you would sneak off in bars together for a few minutes or suddenly you and Josh would stop responding in your little group chat between the 3 of you, he never expected you two to be this intimate with each other. And that night while you choked through sobs he was offering you kind words and encouraged you to take a moment to take a few breaths to prevent you from having a full blown panic attack. You appreciated it more than he knew. That night Jake became your new best friend over Josh between the twins. Jake explained that everyone had been very busy with tour but he noticed Josh had practically thrown himself into the music since they had left which wasn't odd so to speak but it almost like he didn't even take time to breath these days or do anything for himself. Jake said that Josh had even withdrawn from him, Sam, and Danny too and seemed hard to reach at times during this tour which was unlike Josh at all. And even though he had thrown himself into his job basically he was a lot less “Josh” than he had ever been in his life. Fucking hell you missed Josh. Your heart ached at Jake's admission. He was your best friend before anything else and god dammit, maybe you fell in love with him too by accident. Maybe Josh felt the same but you quickly banished that thought when you considered his lack of communication over the last 2 months so far. Yes, maybe you were desperately in love with Josh, but you didn't want to admit that out loud to yourself or Jake at the moment.

Then one night, Josh's contact lit up your phone screen while you were out with your friends in a club. To your dismay, you had missed the call due to being out on the dance floor and your clutch which your phone had been sitting in next to a few other friends you had come with at the table, nobody had noticed your phone buzzing wildly.When you went to check your notifications your heart pounded wildly at Josh's contact name and you went outside to have a cigarette and call him back, feeling woozy from both the alcohol and the adrenaline coursing through your veins. As you were about to click his name to call him back, a voicemail notification popped up from Josh. You hesitantly pressed the phone up to your ear and Josh's soft voice made your knees buckle for a moment. “Hey Y/N,” the message started. “Im sorry ive been shitty and haven't gotten back to you. But what we did before I left was a mistake, and I just need some time. I hope you can understand. I don't want any hard feelings but I'm just busy with tour and I cant have any distractions right now. I hope you're good, uhm, Ill tal-…” You hung up the phone before you could even finish the message from Josh. Fuck that. Fuck you Josh. you thought as hot tears pricked your eyes. The anger that you had held towards Josh underneath the surface of hurt and guilt suddenly bubbled over the top. After 4 months of not talking to you at all that's all he says. I hope you're good??? That was a fucking mistake??? You have to literally be joking. You huffed a sarcastic laugh at his voicemail while the tears in your eyes suddenly spilled down your cheeks making the outside air feel colder than it really was. Through your blurred vision you deleted Josh's number out of your phone that night and left your friends in the club that night to go home and be by yourself to enjoy yourself a worthy mental breakdown.

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You pull yourself from your memories on the plane from the past few months and focus back on the music coursing through your ears for a moment. The boys have already been down in Key Largo for a week now enjoying some free time after their tour ended a month ago, getting some musical writing in and spending some much needed relaxing time together. You knew they needed it so you of course don't mind coming a week later to join them. Unfortunately, Ronnie was busy with her own college studies so while you were sad you wouldn't be spending any time with her either, you completely understood the circumstances but you wished she would be there with you so you weren't stuck in a house full of 20 some year old men and all their testosterone. Once you had landed, grabbed your suitcase and made your way to your rental car outside in the airport you breathed in the warm slightly humid air of Florida and smiled. The entire rest of your plane ride you decided you weren't going to let your anxiety and anger about Josh try and bug you too much. You were here to have just as much fun and deserved to relax just as much as he did and god forbid if he wanted to continue to ignore you then fine, whatever.

At least you still had your best friend Jake, Sam, and Danny.

You plugged in the new home address and started making your way down from Miami to Key Largo with all of your windows rolled down, hair flying everywhere, blasting music and the warmth of the sun and the air surrounding you. You spent a majority of your car ride trying to picture the house the boys could have bought. You wondered what they were going to do with it while they weren't using it because you've always been more practical than the boys, specifically the twins. Finally pulling up to the front of the house, it was everything you couldn't have even imagined. I mean shit, it looked like a beachfront mansion. The house was pure white outside, typical, you thought to yourself with a slight chuckle. A massive carport was present underneath the left side of the house where a few Jeeps currently were parked. The house was easily 3 stories tall and had a set of big, wide steps leading up to the front door of the house. You reminded yourself to pick your jaw up out of your lap before getting out of your car. This seemed a tad uncharacteristic for the Kiszkas but hey, the boys probably had too much money nowadays to even know what to do with it. And you guessed they may have paid a little extra since the lot of land did not seem to have any close neighbors around. Thank goodness. You know how loud the boys' parties can get, and their band practice, oh and their fights too.

You parked your car behind the last jeep wrangler and just as you were stepping out of your car you felt a pair of arms grab you from behind. You squealed for a moment, being lifted into the air, once you were set down you turned to see Jake beaming at you.

“Heya sunshine! Long time no see!” He said.

Sunshine was Jake and Joshs nickname for you as you had grown older. You had taken a liking to wearing yellow during the summer times and the boys agreed that it embodied who you were inside, a ray of sunshine. The nickname always made you radiate a tad brighter too. At least that's what Josh told you.

“Hey Jake! I missed you!” You said wrapping your arms around his neck and squeezing him tight. He reciprocated with the same grip around your waist. When he pulled back you finally got a good look at him. His shoulder length hair was holding a slight curly to it at the bottoms of his locks, probably due to the salty water he had most likely been surfing in and he wore his favorite pair of sunglasses. “This place is uh…big” You said looking up at the carport ceiling momentarily then back out to the road from the small driveway then back to Jake.

“Yeah, Josh insisted that this was the place. It's big enough that we can all be in 4 separate corners of the house and not hear each other if we piss each other off which is nice.” He smirked at you.

You giggled for a moment but at the mention of Josh's name you stiffened a little and Jake's smirk flattered ever so slightly. “Have you two talked at all ?” He asked, raising his eyebrows at you.

You shook your head no and looked at your feet, “No we haven’t.”

Jake let out an audible sigh and looked away from you momentarily. “Look Y/N/N, you guys were best friends before anything. Just at least try and talk it out while you’re here? I think he truly feels bad”. You lifted your head at Jake's comment, not sure how to feel, “We will see what happens.”

You didn't want to bring down the mood of the conversation after promising to yourself not 40 minutes ago that you weren't going to let Josh ruin this trip of yours so you yanked on one of Jake's locks of hair hard enough to break the sudden tension that has made itself present and his head tilted sideways at the strength of the pull. He laughed, batting your hand away playfully. “C'mon sunshine.” Jake said, going to drag your luggage out of the trunk of your rental, and with a pearly white smile that carried up under his sunglasses he said, “let's go see the inside of the love shack.”

Walking up the big white front stairs and up to the front door, your heart caught in your throat for a moment at the butterflies that were whirling around. You were actually about to see Josh in person for the first time in what was almost a year. To be in the same house as him without talking for months after knowing each other your whole life basically. To breathe the same air in a room after you two have spent time breathing each others breaths in stolen moments. And even after sharing a very intimate moment with him. Your feet began to fail you and you fell behind Jake a few steps when your knees started feeling weak and your lungs began to fail you from an impending anxiety attack. Jake opened the door and turned back to look at you. He noticed you fell behind and furrowed his brows again and opened his mouth to say something when Sam abruptly shoved past Jake in the doorway knocking him back into the wall.

“Y/N!!!” Sam yelled, picking you up and spinning you around on the front porch faster than you could even compute what was going on. After a few seconds, you wrapped your arms around his body in fear that you would go flying because he was spinning you so fast.

“Sammy!!!” You yelled back.

“God i've missed you kiddo!” Sam said, putting you back down on the porch and he rustled your hair.

“Kiddo? I am older than you Sam!”

“Yeah but a lot shorter, so kiddo it is.” Sam's hair was back down to his shoulders again but not long enough to go past his shoulders at all which made him look older to you for some reason, along with a shirt similar to Jakes exposing his tan chest. No surprise. He was always trying to keep up with the twins. This made you smile harder.

You huffed a laugh and looked back at Jake who was beaming at the two of you. Danny poked his head out the door next and walked over to you to greet you as well.

“Hey Y/N/N, long time no see.” You gave Danny a gentle hug back. “Itll be nice to have someone else calm in the house amongst all the chaos” He smirked down at you. “Oh yeah I'm sure these two have been driving you up a wall lately.” You rolled your eyes and laughed.

When you and Danny separated, you looked back and saw Josh now standing in the doorway by Jake, but not making any movements towards you. Just a small smirk with his hands tucked tightly in the pockets of his shorts.

Your breath caught in your throat for a moment. He looked good. Undeniably good. His tight curls that he usually sported were now unkempt and messy, almost wild and longer than from when you last saw him. His tan arms seemed to look stronger than the last time you saw him, which reminded you how he had pinned you underneath him that one night while he pounded roughly into you. Your core betrayed you for a moment and you felt a slight fluttering of butterflies erupt. It took you 2 seconds to bring your thoughts back to reality and remember you were unapologetically pissed at this beautiful human being. Fuck this man.He gave you a sheepish smile.

“Y/N”. he said and bowed his head slightly.

It took everything in you not to roll your eyes at him and the other 3 boys had seemed to stop breathing entirely in that moment, eye flickering between the two of you.

You crossed your arms, “Josh.” You said curtly.

He opened his mouth to say more but just as he was going to Jake cut in, “Y/N, let me show you to your room.”

You breathed a short sigh of relief and broke eye contact with Josh. You followed Jake Sam and Danny back through the front door and into the large foyer and watched all the boys start to make their way up the stairs to the main floor of the house, Jake still carrying your suitcase.

The only person that didn't follow them was Josh. He still stood in the doorway and waited for you to pass. When you did, he lightly put his hand on your arm and gave you a pleading look. You glared at him and then down to his touch on your arm and pulled away. “Y/N, wait, please.” He started as you kicked off your shoes and took a step towards the stairs. “Can we just talk, Im sorry, I had some time to think an-”

“And what Josh?!” Your voice rang a little louder than even you intended, maybe it was due to the high ceilings in the foyer of the house but it seemed to echo.

Josh flinched away from you for a brief moment. “You wanna keep telling me everything was a mistake?”. He looked shocked for a moment and his jaw dropped as if he was going to say something but nothing ever came out of his mouth. You scoffed and rolled your eyes and pulled yourself away from his grip again roughly.

You turned to start making your way up the stairs to follow the others who were now out of sight in the main part of the house. You turned back around briefly to face Josh and spit more poison his way and you immediatley noticed the already pained expression on his face. You saw his eyes fall to the floor and he hesitated for a moment but then you watched him turn around and walk down the stairs on the opposite side of the foyer disappearing from your sight without another word. You kind of felt bad for a moment. Shocked that that was your first interaction in forever, and the last one you two had with each other you were underneath him while he whispered sweet nothings and dirty words in your ears. No, no, no wait, don't feel bad he broke you, he had no idea what you went through for a couple of months and you had every right to be angry with him.

“Y/N?” Jake asked. You turned and looked up at him from the bottom of the steps. He had a concerned look on his face. “You coming up?”

You opened your mouth but realized your throat felt tight from your interaction with Josh so you just nodded your head instead of trying to talk and made your way upstairs.

The main area of the house was massive. From the stairs you could see an open kitchen with a beautiful white marble island and white cabinets with little black bar stools accompanying it. Behind the kitchen sink there was a massive bay window that overlooked the beach in the back and a big white deck with some tables and chairs and a grill. To the left of the kitchen was a big living room with a huge white sectional that looked too pristine to even sit on. There were huge floor to ceiling windows in the living room along with multiple glass doors with white trim that gave you access to the deck, the beach and it looked like a dock as well with a small boat. You made note of how much white was actually in the home itself, I mean everything that was big was white and the sun reflected off of it, it almost made your head hurt a bit.

“What do you think?” Jake asked, bumping your shoulder to pull you from admiring the house.

“I think its….beautiful here.” you said still admiring all the little details the boys had in the home. No way they decorated this themselves. They either hired someone or bought it this way exactly.

“Wait till you see the boat!” Sam yelled from the kitchen, where he and Danny were in the process of wrestling over the mayo for their sandwiches that they were making.

You whipped your head back to Jake, “that boat out there is yours?!”

He smiled at you, “Well you know us. We can't have a beach house without a boat. We will have to take you out there sunshine. Maybe tomorrow”

You nodded eagerly at Jake. “Cmon, let's get you to your room.” He extended his hand to you which you gladly took.

On the opposite end of the kitchen was a little dining room tucked away with a beautiful black table and black and gold chairs, oh and more floor to ceiling windows facing the beach. Thank goodness something in here isn't bright white you thought. Past the dining room and the balcony in the foyer was a long hallway that Jake led you down. He paused at a room on the left hand side and gestured his hand for you to walk in. The room was, guess what, white. White walls with wood floors. A canopy bed was sitting along one of the walls with a white comforter. One big window with a bench to read on underneath it if you pleased. A simple oak dresser with a tv on the wall, and even a bathroom of your own connected to the room.

“Wow Jake, this is perfect.” You said looking around.

He nodded, “I figured you would enjoy the beach views in the morning from the window while you read.”

You smiled back at him. “Thanks Jake.”

“You know,” He started. “I heard, well, we all heard what just happened with Josh and- and please just go easy on him. I mean we're all here to relax and decompress. I'm not trying to be mean, I understand what you went through too and I know you're still hurting and I can't imagine how you must still be feeling.” He paused to breath and flicker his eyes up to your face to gauge how you were taking this. “But, it would be nice if you two were not yelling at each other the entire time.”

You nodded at Jake again, “Yeah I know, I'm sorry. I'll get it figured out” You turned to face the big window again in your room admiring the white sand and blue water that was outside.

“Whatever you're comfortable with Y/N/N, no pressure, seriously. I'm sure it will take you two a few days and I'm here for you but I also have to be there for him too you know? He is my twin brother and I can't pick favorites between the two of you.”

You nodded again, “I get it Jake. Don't worry.” You offered him a small smile

“Alright” he said with a returned smile.Jake started to head out your bedroom door but paused at the last second. “So. We are having a small beach party tonight to celebrate you being here at 6. Be ready.”

You smiled and looked at the clock, 330 pm. “I'll be ready.”

A few minutes go by of you unpacking your bag, hanging up a few of your clothing items and unpacking your toiletries to get yourself situated. You took a moment to once again stare out the window at the blue water, watching the white crested waves crash along the sand. You wondered for a moment how the warm sand and salty water would feel between your toes, and the warmth of the sun. Your moment of peace was interrupted but a small knock at your closed bedroom door.

“Yes?” You asked not moving from your spot. When you didn't get an answer you called out, “Jake?”. Thinking maybe he forgot to tell you something. When no response still came and your heart was hammering in your chest you turned and made your way to the door. Opening it you were met with the white wall of the hallway opposite of you. You glanced down the rest of the long hallway to your right to see if anyone was there or was walking away. But no one was. You looked down at your feet and noticed a piece of white paper with the words “I'm really sorry. Please can we talk?” written accompanied by one of your favorite flowers sitting delicately on top. You rolled your eyes and closed the bedroom door leaving the note and the flower on the floor. Its not going to be that easy, you wanted him to suffer too.

#josh kiszka #josh kiszka fanfiction #greta van fic #greta van smut #josh kiszka angst #gvf angst

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qqueenofhades · 4 years

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Re: the post you reblogged about Bush. I'm 21 and tbh feel like I can only vote for Bernie, can you explain if/why I shouldn't? Thanks and sorry if this is dumb or anything.

Oh boy. Okay, I’ll do my best here. Note that a) this will get long, and b) I’m old, Tired, and I‘m pretty sure my brain tried to kill me last night. Since by nature I am sure I will say something Controversial ™, if anyone reads this and feels a deep urge to inform me that I am Wrong, just… mark it down as me being Wrong and move on with your life. But also, really, you should read this and hopefully think about it. Because while I’m glad you asked this question, it feels like there’s a lot in your cohort who won’t, and that worries me. A lot.

First, not to sound utterly old-woman-in-a-rocking-chair ancient, people who came of age/are only old enough to have Obama be the first president that they really remember have no idea how good they had it. The world was falling the fuck apart in 2008 (not coincidentally, after 8 years of Bush). We came within a flicker of the permanent collapse of the global economy. The War on Terror was in full roar, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were at their height, we had Dick Cheney as the cartoon supervillain before we had any of Trump’s cohort, and this was before Chelsea Manning or Edward Snowden had exposed the extent of NSA/CIA intelligence-gathering/American excesses or there was any kind of public debate around the fact that we were all surveilled all the time. And the fact that a brown guy named Barack Hussein Obama was elected in this climate seems, and still seems tbh, kind of amazing. And Obama was certainly not a Perfect President ™. He had to scale back a lot of planned initiatives, he is notorious for expanding the drone strike/extrajudicial assassination program, he still subscribed to the overall principles of neoliberalism and American exceptionalism, etc etc. There is valid criticism to be made as to how the hopey-changey optimistic rhetoric stacked up against the hard realities of political office. And yet…. at this point, given what we’re seeing from the White House on a daily basis, the depth of the parallel universe/double standards is absurd.

Because here’s the thing. Obama, his entire family, and his entire administration had to be personally/ethically flawless the whole time (and they managed that – not one scandal or arrest in eight years, against the legions of Trumpistas now being convicted) because of the absolute frothing depths of Republican hatred, racial conspiracy theories, and obstruction against him. (Remember Merrick Garland and how Mitch McConnell got away with that, and now we have Gorsuch and Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court? Because I remember that). If Obama had pulled one-tenth of the shit, one-twentieth of the shit that the Trump administration does every day, he would be gone. It also meant that people who only remember Obama think he was typical for an American president, and he wasn’t. Since about… Jimmy Carter, and definitely since Ronald Reagan, the American people have gone for the Trump model a lot more than the Obama model. Whatever your opinion on his politics or character, Obama was a constitutional law professor, a community activist, a neighborhood organizer and brilliant Ivy League intellectual who used to randomly lie awake at night thinking about income inequality. Americans don’t value intellectualism in their politicians; they just don’t. They don’t like thinking that “the elites” are smarter than them. They like the folksy populist who seems fun to have a beer with, and Reagan/Bush Senior/Clinton/Bush Junior sold this persona as hard as they possibly could. As noted in said post, Bush Junior (or Shrub as the late, great Molly Ivins memorably dubbed him) was Trump Lite but from a long-established political family who could operate like an outwardly civilized human.

The point is: when you think Obama was relatively normal (which, again, he wasn’t, for any number of reasons) and not the outlier in a much larger pattern of catastrophic damage that has been accelerated since, again, the 1980s (oh Ronnie Raygun, how you lastingly fucked us!), you miss the overall context in which this, and which Trump, happened. Like most left-wingers, I don’t agree with Obama’s recent and baffling decision to insert himself into the 2020 race and warn the Democratic candidates against being too progressive or whatever he was on about. I think he was giving into the same fear that appears to be motivating the remaining chunk of Joe Biden’s support: that middle/working-class white America won’t go for anything too wild or that might sniff of Socialism, and that Uncle Joe, recalled fondly as said folksy populist and the internet’s favorite meme grandfather from his time as VP, could pick up the votes that went to Trump last time. And that by nature, no one else can.

The underlying belief is that these white voters just can’t support anything too “un-American,” and that by pushing too hard left, Democratic candidates risk handing Trump a second term. Again: I don’t agree and I think he was mistaken in saying it. But I also can’t say that Obama of all people doesn’t know exactly the strength of the political machine operating against the Democratic Party and the progressive agenda as a whole, because he ran headfirst into it for eight years. The fact that he managed to pass any of his legislative agenda, usually before the Tea Party became a thing in 2010, is because Democrats controlled the House and Senate for the first two years of his first term. He was not perfect, but it was clear that he really did care (just look up the pictures of him with kids). He installed smart, efficient, and scandal-free people to do jobs they were qualified for. He gave us Elena Kagan and Sonia Sotomayor to join RBG on the Supreme Court. All of this seems… like a dream.

That said: here we are in a place where Biden, Bernie Sanders, and Elizabeth Warren are the front-runners for the Democratic nomination (and apparently Pete Buttigieg is getting some airplay as a dark horse candidate, which… whatever). The appeal of Biden is discussed above, and he sure as hell is not my favored candidate (frankly, I wish he’d just quit). But Sanders and Warren are 85% - 95% similar in their policy platforms. The fact that Michael “50 Billion Dollar Fortune” Bloomberg started rattling his chains about running for president is because either a Sanders or Warren presidency terrifies the outrageously exploitative billionaire capitalist oligarchy that runs this country and has been allowed to proceed essentially however the fuck they like since… you guessed it, the 1980s, the era of voodoo economics, deregulation, and the free market above all. Warren just happens to be ten years younger than Sanders and female, and Sanders’ age is not insignificant. He’s 80 years old and just had a heart attack, and there’s still a year to go to the election. It’s also more than a little eye-rolling to describe him as the only progressive candidate in the race, when he’s an old white man (however much we like and approve of his policy positions). And here’s the thing, which I think is a big part of the reason why this polarized ideological purity internet leftist culture mistrusts Warren:

She may have changed her mind on things in the past.

Scary, right? I sound like I’m being facetious, but I’m not. An argument I had to read with my own two eyes on this godforsaken hellsite was that since Warren became a Democrat around the time Clinton signed Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, she sekritly hated gay people and might still be a corporate sellout, so on and etcetera. (And don’t even get me STARTED on the fact that DADT, coming a few years after the height of the AIDS crisis which was considered God’s Judgment of the Icky Gays, was the best Clinton could realistically hope to achieve, but this smacks of White Gay Syndrome anyway and that is a whole other kettle of fish.) Bernie has always demonstrably been a democratic socialist, and: good for him. I’m serious. But because there’s the chance that Warren might not have thought exactly as she does now at any point in her life, the hysterical and paranoid left-wing elements don’t trust that she might not still secretly do so. (Zomgz!) It’s the same element that’s feeding cancel culture and “wokeness.” Nobody can be allowed to have shifted or grown in their opinions or, like a functional, thoughtful, non-insane adult, changed their beliefs when presented with compelling evidence to the contrary. To the ideological hordes, any hint of uncertainty or past failure to completely toe the line is tantamount to heresy. Any evidence of any other belief except The Correct One means that this person is functionally as bad as Trump. And frankly, it’s only the Sanders supporters who, just as in 2016, are threatening to withhold their vote in the general election if their preferred candidate doesn’t win the primary, and indeed seem weirdly proud about it.

OK, boomer Bernie or Buster.

Here’s the thing, the thing, the thing: there is never going to be an American president free of the deeply toxic elements of American ideology. There just won’t be. This country has been built how it has for 250 years, and it’s not gonna change. You are never going to have, at least not in the current system, some dream candidate who gets up there and parrots the left-wing talking points and attacks American imperialism, exceptionalism, ravaging global capitalism, military and oil addiction, etc. They want to be elected as leader of a country that has deeply internalized and taken these things to heart for its entire existence, and most of them believe it to some degree themselves. So this groupthink white liberal mentality where the only acceptable candidate is this Perfect Non-Problematic robot who has only ever had one belief their entire lives and has never ever wavered in their devotion to doctrine has really gotten bad. The Democratic Party would be considered… maybe center/mild left in most other developed countries. It’s not even really left-wing by general standards, and Sanders and Warren are the only two candidates for the nomination who are even willing to go there and explicitly put out policy proposals that challenge the systematic structure of power, oppression, and exploitation of the late-stage capitalist 21st century. Warren has the billionaires fussed, and instead of backing down, she’s doubling down. That’s part of why they’re so scared of her. (And also misogyny, because the world is depressing like that.) She is going head-on after picking a fight with some of the worst people on the planet, who are actively killing the rest of us, and I don’t know about you, but I like that.

Of course: none of this will mean squat if she (or the eventual Democratic winner, who I will vote for regardless of who it is, but as you can probably tell, she’s my ride or die) don’t a) win the White House and then do as they promised on the campaign trail, and b) don’t have a Democratic House and Senate willing to have a backbone and pass the laws. Even Nancy Pelosi, much as she’s otherwise a badass, held off on opening a formal impeachment inquiry into Trump for months out of fear it would benefit him, until the Ukraine thing fell into everyone’s laps. The Democrats are really horrible at sticking together and voting the party line the way Republicans do consistently, because Democrats are big-tent people who like to think of themselves as accepting and tolerant of other views and unwilling to force their members’ hands. The Republicans have no such qualms (and indeed, judging by their enabling of Trump, have no qualms at all).

The modern American Republican party has become a vehicle for no-holds-barred power for rich white men at the expense of absolutely everything and everyone else, and if your rationale is that you can’t vote for the person opposing Donald Goddamn Trump is that you’re just not vibing with them on the language of that one policy proposal… well, I’m glad that you, White Middle Class Liberal, feel relatively safe that the consequences of that decision won’t affect you personally. Even if we’re due to be out of the Paris Climate Accords one day after the 2020 election, and the issue of climate change now has the most visibility it’s ever had after years of big-business, Republican-led efforts to deny and discredit the science, hey, Secret Corporate Shill, am I right? Can’t trust ‘er. Let’s go have a craft beer.

As has been said before: vote as far left as you want in the primary. Vote your ideology, vote whatever candidate you want, because the only way to make actual, real-world change is to do that. The huge, embedded, all-consuming and horrible system in which we operate is not just going to suddenly be run by fairy dust and happy thoughts overnight. Select candidates that reflect your values exactly, be as picky and ideologically militant as you want. That’s the time to do that! Then when it comes to the general election:

America is a two-party system. It sucks, but that’s the case. Third-party votes, or refraining from voting because “it doesn’t matter” are functionally useless at best and actively harmful at worst.

Either the Democratic candidate or Donald Trump will win the 2020 election.

There is absolutely no length that the Republican/GOP machine, and its malevolent allies elsewhere, will not go to in order to secure a Trump victory. None.

Any talk whatsoever about “progressive values” or any kind of liberal activism, coupled with a course of action that increases the possibility of a Trump victory, is hypocritical at best and actively malicious at worst.

This is why I found the Democratic response to Obama’s “don’t go too wild” comments interesting. Bernie doubled down on the fact that his plans have widespread public support, and he’s right. (Frankly, the fact that Sanders and Warren are polling at the top, and the fact that they’re politicians and would not be crafting these campaign messages if they didn’t know that they were being positively received, says plenty on its own). Warren cleverly highlighted and praised Obama’s accomplishments in office (i.e. the Affordable Care Act) and didn’t say squat about whether she agreed or disagreed with him, then went right back to campaigning about why billionaires suck. And some guy named Julian Castro basically blew Obama off and claimed that “any Democrat” could beat Trump in 2020, just by nature of existing and being non-insane.

This is very dangerous! Do not be Julian Castro!

As I said in my tags on the Bush post: everyone assumed that sensible people would vote for Kerry in 2004. Guess what happened? Yeah, he got Swift Boated. The race between Obama and McCain in 2008, even after those said nightmare years of Bush, was very close until the global crash broke it open in Obama’s favor, and Sarah Palin was an actual disqualifier for a politician being brazenly incompetent and unprepared. (Then again, she was a woman from a remote backwater state, not a billionaire businessman.) In 2012, we thought Corporate MormonBot Mitt Fuggin’ Romney was somehow the worst and most dangerous candidate the Republicans could offer. In 2016, up until Election Day itself, everyone assumed that HRC was a badly flawed candidate but would win anyway. And… we saw how that worked out. Complacency is literally deadly.

I was born when Reagan was still president. I’m just old enough to remember the efforts to impeach Clinton over forcing an intern to give him a BJ in the Oval Office (This led by the same Republicans making Donald Trump into a darling of the evangelical Christian right wing.) I’m definitely old enough to remember 9/11 and how America lost its mind after that, and I remember the Bush years. And, obviously, the contrast with Obama, the swing back toward Trump, and everything that has happened since. We can’t afford to do this again. We’re hanging by a thread as it is, and not just America, but the entire planet.

So yes. By all means, vote for Sanders in the primary. Then when November 3, 2020 rolls around, if you care about literally any of this at all, hold your nose if necessary and vote straight-ticket Democrat, from the president, to the House and Senate, to the state and local offices. I cannot put it more strongly than that.

#politics for ts #long post #anonymous #ask

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ghost-wonder · 3 years

Text

Why Oliver March is My Current Top Suspect for the Leader (Even though I love him)

Buckle your seatbelts kids and get ready for my hot mess of a PH theory. I wasn’t sure where to put this and I just wanted to get my thoughts out. I’m in the last year of my media studies and production degree so I’m putting my 3 years of tears to use and have been brewing this theory since reading 85. Now let me clarify: I adore March, but the more we see, the more suspicious I become (especially with ep. 82 & 85), and while many think this may mean death or something tragic, I’ve been thinking of the possibility it’s something much bigger (Note: lots of speculation here so prepare for a lot of what if’s and I’m only using content up to ep. 85).

My thought process regarding the leader:

The leader is a rather dehumanized villainous entity. With them being anonymous and the reader not having a face to place with the actions, it’s easier for us to take the leader’s actions at face value. We are provided no means of sympathizing or empathizing with their actions and instead, our story follows characters who have been traumatized by said actions.

Therefore, to provide readers with the greatest impact, the leader would likely be a character who up until the discovery of them being the leader, the reader viewed them positively. A character already humanized. Already trusted. And this would be both in terms of how the reader views that character, as well as other characters in the story. It would leave the reader reeling, trying to figure out why such a character would be the leader.

And keep in mind: PH has used this approach with Harvey; the audience liked him for the short time he appeared before being caprisunned and we were shocked to discover his involvement in the PS. Additionally, we’ve had characters dehumanizing and humanizing with Kieran. He’s introduced as this deadly assassin who kills brutally, with the greatest death toll in the PS. But he becomes humanized through his interactions with Lauren, so much so that both the reader and Lauren forget his occupation and are provided a chilling reminder in ep. 43. However, even after those horrible events, as we learn more regarding his character in season 2, we begin to empathize with his actions and reactions (though we don’t condone them). It demonstrates a duality, a mix of light and dark, seemingly contradicting one another. Because people are complicated.

This is also why I can’t buy into the idea that Tristan or Stefan is the leader, in fact, I don’t think either one is even involved with the PS. For Tristan I think he comes off suspicious because A) he’s meant to be a red herring but B) LAUREN’S PARENTS WERE APOSTLES AND YOU CANNOT TELL ME HE DID NOT KNOW. THEY LEFT AT ODD HOURS OF THE NIGHT ALL THE TIME AND LIKELY GAVE LAUREN TO TRISTAN TO PROTECT HER FROM THAT LIFE. HE PROBABLY THINKS LAUREN IS PS. But anywho. As for Stefan, he’s already been villainized through his treatment of William. The audience doesn’t like him for this reason and is then inherently suspicious of him because they dislike him. So for me, it feels too obvious. (I have an additional theory that he was involved with the print shop shooting, assisting Lizbeth (from what’s alluded in 64 with Lauren’s parents and 68) as chief of police but that’s for another place another time.)

What we know about the leader:

- It’s a he

- Has to be part of the older generation (would have needed to be an adult about 15 years ago)

- Was a member of SD

- Knew Lauren’s parents

- According to Hecate, he is closer and more similar to Lauren than she thinks

So why March? (It’s not just the villain scar)

- His speech to Kym and Will in 60 had me SUS. It felt very contradicting (he acknowledges the flaws in the system while saying they must continue their jobs, which is valid, but his phrasing was still off to me) and generally in any mystery drama if I see a character go on a moral rant of sorts, my sus radar is dialed up to 11. Unfortunately, we don’t know how much of it was true and lies because Lauren wasn’t around but if he is the leader I’d find it so fascinating if everything he said is the truth. The idea that this terrorist does have sound morals would be SO INTERESTING and kind of fitting? The leader having a strong sense of justice or strong morals would make him more similar to Lauren as Hecate said. But more on Hecate later.

- As confirmed by 85, he knew Lauren’s parents. He even says they worked together on cases. Through their work together, did they start to realize the flaws in their system? Was there a case that was just too much? SD formed?

- The death of his daughter does kind of fit the SD timeline. (She died in xx11 the pamphlets are dated xx14 but SD was likely formed slightly before the release of the pamphlets but that's not yet really confirmed). We don’t know how her illness killed her (could be class-related. Like because of their class status perhaps they didn’t have access to the resources that could have saved his daughter? Who knows. He said they did all they could. March is likely middle class similar to Kym but we don’t know for sure. And even if he is middle class we don’t know if this was always the case, like if he was middle class at the time of his daughter’s death.)

- Additionally the death of his wife. The date is blocked and as others have theorized I find it very possible it could have been SD related. But this sentence is chilling: “She fell into the bloody hands of criminals that have been plaguing Ardhalis for too long.” March doesn’t specify these criminals as the PS. So could he mean the royals? (Literally everything he says to Lauren in ep. 85 could have a double meaning and it bugs me so much like he never specifies the criminals he’s referring to. And everything he says sounds like the monologue of a villain who sees themselves as a hero because they haven’t realized how far gone they are. But that’s just me. ) If she died in the print shop shooting could this have been the catalyst to drive March to become the leader and start the PS? Losing your daughter and wife is a lot to take and could drive anyone over the edge. Point is: if any of this speculation is true, it would give March motive for becoming the leader.

- Also March mentioned how Lauren reminds him of his daughter which could then explain why Lauren hasn’t been touched by the PS cause at this point the girl should have been caprisunned a while ago if she wasn’t being protected from the inside.

- To build on that as well, if March is the leader then he has kept an eye on Lauren since she joined the force aka since she would have become problematic for the PS (cause you can argue being the daughter of apostles may not automatically make her a threat since she was a child at the time. But being the daughter of apostles and joining the police force to take down the PS? Now that’s an issue). March says in ep. 60 that Lauren was one of his recruits meaning the leader could have had his eye on her the entirety of her time in the APD. Just something to consider.

- And going back to Hecate's words, he’s more similar to you than you think. March and Lauren share (seemingly) similar morals and additionally he is close to her just as Hecate claimed. Also if any of my speculation regarding the deaths of his wife and daughter are correct it would have put him in a similar position to Lauren, the difference being her enemy is PS and his being the royals (but also as we’re starting to see with Lauren learning more information, I think the royals are starting to become an enemy in her eyes the same way PS is. Again if any of this is correct it just furthers similarities between the two).

- This could then also be the betrayal alluded to in the cards; one of Lauren's mentors has been the leader this whole time. The betrayal is either past or future but March being the leader could count as both. He betrayed her in the past by ordering the death of her parents and may betray her again in the future as he continues to play the role of leader

- Plus this would also mean the leader has been present in the story FROM THE VERY BEGINNING MARCH WAS IN EP 2 HOW WILD WOULD IT BE IF WE’VE KNOWN THE LEADER THIS WHOLE TIME

- AND IMPORTANT NOTE: WHY IS MARCH NOT ONE OF THE PEOPLE LAUREN SUSPECTS DURING EP. 82 YET HE HAS HER BACK SIMILAR TO WILL AND KYM. "LAUREN OPEN YOUR EYES" BLINDEST OF THEM ALL TYPE STUFF. (Also with Lauren being the blindest of all, it led me to believe anyone Lauren is suspicious of, is not the one to betray her. I feel like it would have to be someone so unsuspicious, Lauren doesn’t even think of them. Which can be said of March; we literally have a whole scene in ep. 82 demonstrating how close they are and how a level of trust exists. Yet panels later, it doesn’t even cross her mind that he could betray her).

Now possible flaws in this theory (there are more I’m sure but here’s a few):

-Why voice support for lune and their actions: Lune’s actions have yet to affect the leader (at least to our knowledge) and have technically been helping the leader. The leader views Apostle 7 as an issue so obviously whoever the leader is, they won’t take issue with Lune taking down this problem for them. When first telling Lauren about McTrevor, Kieran said he was surprised he hadn’t been sent by the leader to kill him off yet. And when the 11th precinct received that first Lune letter about him, March was the one to voice that they should follow Lune’s orders. If he’s the leader, this could explain why he wanted to follow Lune’s orders and dispose of McTrevor without PS means. This is a possible explanation anyway.

- Why send moles into the 11th precinct if the leader himself is already there: I boil this down to a matter of seeming less suspicious. Like why possibly risk the exposure of your identity if your organization consists of hundreds of potential puppets who are easily disposable?

-Why place the PH in the 11th precinct if the leader is there: Okay this plays into another theory I have regarding Kieran. We know there are boatloads of parallels between Lauren and Kieran which left me thinking Kieran has had a similar Tim Sake type incident. What I mean by this is that Lauren’s whole deal with Tim Sake was heavily guided by her personal anger and resulted in distrust from her superior, Hermann. I think Kieran had a similar incident with killing that one person without orders, in which his actions were guided by his personal anger and resulted in distrust from his superior, the Leader. So we know from 83 Kierans been overseas for a while (Why? Was there a mission or did the leader need Kieran out of Ardhalis? Both?) and his comment in 64 (“I wonder how much longer his patience will last”), as well as the comments made by Bella and the messenger at various points regarding Kieran following and not following orders (ep 5 and 72-73?), further my thinking that the leader may be SUS of his best player. So what do you do with someone you’re suspicious of: you keep them right where you can see them.

- The one flaw I have yet to work out an explanation for is why order the death of lune? Regardless of who the leader is, this is a question I’ve mulled over since the end of season 1. J’en sais rien mes amis mais on verra.

Closing Thoughts:

Hopefully, this didn’t sound like the ramblings of a sleep-deprived senior (even though that’s exactly what this is haha) and hopefully, it gave you some stuff to consider. Up until this point, I never spent much time contemplating the leader, partly because I didn’t feel like we were far enough in the story to have enough evidence against one person. While much of this is speculation, I still think it’s the soundest case I have for any PH character we’ve met thus far being the leader.

#purple hyacinth #ph webtoon #lauren sinclair #oliver march #kieran white #webtoon #purple hyacinth webtoon #this is a lot #dont hate me i just cant accept nice things

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blackmissfrizzle · 4 years

Text

Meet The Furys

Characters: Erik Stevens x black!reader, Nicky Fury x daughter!reader

Summary: Its time for your dad to meet your boyfriend.

Warnings: None

A/N: Based off this imagine. After almost a year its finally here! I hope you all enjoy it.

“Okay, remember to play nice. My dad can be intense.” You warned Erik before ringing the doorbell.

“As long as he ain’t on some fuck shit.” Erik was already not too fond of the work your father did.

“Erik!”

“Aight, I’ll be nice.” He changed the tune of his story when he saw the crazy look in your eyes.

The front door opened and revealed Tony Stark. “What are you doing here?” You asked shoving the cake in his hands.

“Nice to see you too, kid.” He kissed the top of your head. Despite your love-hate relationship, Tony was like a big brother to you. Actually, all the avengers were like older siblings to you.

“Stevens.”

“Stark.”

Erik and Tony greeted each other. Neither one liked the other. You believed it was because there was no room big enough to hold both of their egos.

“Please you two, no arguing today. I got enough to worry about.” You continued to venture into the house.

“Erik, my man!” Sam came up and clapped Erik’s hand and gave him a one arm hug. “What you been up to?”

Tony leaned into you and asked, “Why doesn’t he greet me like that?”

You rolled your eyes and turned over your hand. “You know why.”

“Shit, nothing. I’m just out here trying to survive.” Erik ended the clap with a snap. He hit Sam in the middle in the chest. “I see you hitting them weights. You out here trying to get swole?”

“Nah, man I’m trying to get like you.”

“Trust me you don’t wanna be like him.” You interrupted the nigga-fest before it went too far.

“She’s always hating.” Erik whispered to Sam. “I’ll get at you later.”

Erik followed you throughout the house. The two of you constantly stopping to greet everyone. Eventually, you made it outside to see your dad at the pit.

“Hey Daddy!” As you reached up to kiss his cheek, you had to restrain yourself from hitting Erik when you heard him mumble, “I’m the only one she calls daddy.”

Nick put the spatula down and hugged his baby girl. “How is it possible you get more beautiful every time I see you?”

“I get it from my daddy.” You boosted his ego. “Anyway, there’s someone I want you to meet.” You tugged on Erik’s hand to bring him next to you. “Daddy this is Erik, Erik this is Nick Fury.”

Erik stuck out his hand to shake your dad’s. “Nice to meet you, sir.”

Nick looked at the young man’s hand for some time. Before everything went down in Wakanda, Nick heard of Erik or better yet Killmonger. He wanted to bring him into SHIELD, but decided he was too volatile and stubborn for the organization. Now that same man is dating his baby girl. Fate had a cruel sense of humor.

“Hmmph.” Nick looked Erik up and down before shaking his hand. “You treating my daughter right?”

“Yes, sir. I’m the one you should be checking on.” Erik rubbed up and down on the bicep you hit him on earlier. “She’s always hitting me.”

“Don’t act like you don’t deserve it. You always testing me.” You bucked at him.

Erik was about to mush your head, but he remembered his surroundings and that he was supposed to be making a good impression. “See, you got a little thug over there.”

“She ain’t the thug I see.” You knew your dad would be snarky when he met Erik, but you didn’t think he would be going this hard this early.

You saw Sam behind Erik, cracking some joke with Bucky. Quickly, you motioned for him to come get Erik. “E, you wanna go grab a drink and dig into that cake before anyone else can?”

Erik looked to you if it was okay for him to leave. Even though he was already itching to leave he didn’t want to piss you off.

“Yeah, go.” You waved him off. “Me and Daddy need to have a talk.”

With your go ahead, Erik took off. He didn’t know how much longer he could hold his tongue.

Once Erik was out of earshot, you poked your dad in the shoulder and got on his ass. “What was that?”

“What was what?” Nick played dumb as he flipped the burgers.

You flicked your dad’s ear and quickly got out of arm’s reach. “That elitist nigga bullshit you just pulled by calling Erik a thug.”

Nick gave you the full Fury glare that was usually reserved for Tony. He pointed the spatula at you. “You got that one free lick. You don’t get anymore.” Closing the pit, your dad came next to you. “And the last thing I wanna be is one of those siddity niggas. I just…I just expected you with someone different that’s all.

“Elitist bullshit.” You mocked him by singing.

He held his hands up in surrender. “Okay, I was a little elitist. I’ll be better, I promise.”

If you consider better as not talking to one another then better happened. The barbecue was tense due to the obvious animosity between your dad and boyfriend. No matter how hard you, Sam, Bruce, and Steve tried to ease the tension, somehow your dad and Erik found a way to throw off-hand comments. And Tony was no help because he liked to add fuel to the fire.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was when Sam complimented Erik’s hair and your dad mumbled, “I don’t know why you young niggas think that’s a good look.”

Erik’s smile before he said anything told you everything you needed to know, and you knew there was no way to stop it. “I’m sorry that your receding hairline made you cut your hair. But hey, you rock that Samuel L. Jackson look.”

“What’s wrong with Sam L? That man got style.” Nick looked at Erik incredulously. He choose the wrong one today. “And while we on the subject of hair. Son, if you can’t grow a full beard then at least have the sense to cut that shit off.”

You almost spat your drink out. Erik’s been using some oils to grow his beard completely and it was working so well, you thought it was full. Leave it to your dad to find the last patch.

“At least I’m not dressed like Shaft. Nigga it’s 85 degrees right now, why you got on that hot ass leather duster for? Ole Little Bill lookin ass with an eyepatch.” Erik refused to be outdone by this old head.

They continued to trade jabs. It was like watching a tennis match when neither player could score. Each jab was hitting its mark. If this wasn’t your dad and Erik, then you would be cracking up like everyone else.

You needed to stop their bickering before it got too far. Out of the two, your dad would be the easiest to stop. “Daddy!” You called out to him, trying to redirect his attention.

“What?!” Both Erik and your dad turned to you. When you saw your dad’s face processing that Erik answered as well, you knew right then and there you would have to kill Erik. You’ll just tell T’Challa and Shuri that he died in a horrible car crash. It would be believable, because that nigga doesn’t know what a speed limit is.

Sam slid out of his chair in silent laughter, Tony spat out his drink and was howling in laughter, Steve’s face flushed red in embarrassment for you, Bucky looked like he wanted to congratulate Erik, Wanda and Nat offered you sympathetic smiles, and Peter was confused to why everyone was in a state of shock.

That shit-eating grin was wiped off Erik’s face when he looked at you. Was it possible to plan your own funeral, he thought.

“Y/N, why did he answer you?” Nick asked his lovely daughter. He knew his daughter was grown and she was most likely doing grown people activities, but that didn’t mean he needed to be blatantly reminded of it.

“Cause I’m her daddy, nigga!” Erik was done playing nice. Nick Fury needed to know he was serious about you and he wasn’t going anywhere.

Tony wiped tears from his eyes. “This keeps getting better and better.” Nat kicked the leg from under his chair causing him to fall.

‘Thank you’ you mouthed to her. Tony obnoxious ass was next on your hit list after Erik.

Standing up, Nick pointed between him and Erik. “Me and you about to have a little talk.”

You tried to follow them inside the house, but your dad stopped you. He said they needed to have a talk man to man.

The longer they were away, the more you worried. For sure, you thought you would hear yelling. Neither one of them were afraid to get loud. Maybe one of em killed the other, you thought. Nah couldn’t be, neither one would go quietly.

Suddenly, your dad’s laughter was wafting through the air and that didn’t happen too often. Rounding the corner was a happy Erik and your dad, laughing with each other like they just weren’t at each other’s necks.

“What is this?” You asked surprised that they weren’t arguing.

Erik came to your side and kissed your temple. “Me and your pops came to an understanding.”

“And that is?”

“None of your business.” Your dad told you, leaving you speechless. Wow, did your dad and Erik have secrets now?

You asked Erik the same question and got the same answer. Erik was your best bet to tell you their secret, so you pinched him to get him to spill the beans.

In less than five seconds you felt a flick to your ear. “Keep your hands off that boy. I forgot how mean your little ass can be.”

You grabbed your ear and looked at your dad in awe. “What the hell is this?! Y’all friends all of a sudden?” You had to be in the twilight zone, because now your dad was defending Erik.

Both men turned to you and simultaneously repeated, “None of your business.” You decided to give up for the moment. You would have to divide and conquer to get any info.

The rest of dinner went really well considering where it started. Instead of roasting each other, Erik and your dad ganged up on Tony and it was your turn to laugh at his pain and suffering.

At the end of the night, it was only you, your dad, and Erik left. On your way out, Erik promised your dad he would come to his poker night and that they could hustle Tony out of some money. These niggas were really best friends now.

Finally, in the car you could try to pry some information out of Erik. Your dad would never tell you what they talked about. He was the king of secrets.

“What?” Erik’s lip slightly curled up when he felt you staring at him.

“What did you and my dad talk about earlier?” You pinched his arm. “And don’t tell me it’s none of my business.”

Erik slid his eyes at you when he came to the stop sign. “Imma handle that ass when we get home.”

“Promises, promises.”

Erik shook his head at you. He contemplated telling you the truth and decided to give you an abridged version, because he knew your ass wouldn’t stop bugging him until you got something. “All you need to know is that we both have your best interest and love you. Anything else you wanna know, you gotta ask your pops.” Taking the hand that was intertwined with his, Erik kissed the back of your wrist.

That answer would have to do for now. Just like Erik said you could get the rest from your dad with a lot of begging and honestly, Erik might tell you more, because either way you looked at it you were daddy’s little girl and neither one of them would want to disappoint you.

Tagging:@lostennyc @chaneajoyyy @vikkidc @ginghampearlsnsweettea @honeyflii @youwishiwasyobabymama @just-juicee @quietpoeticheart @soufcakmistress @twistedcharismaaa @marvelmaree @thickemadame @titty-teetee

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lamortexiii · 3 years

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Cryptic Mystic: What’s Your Sign?

Many of us are fascinated by astrology and all things outer space related. The great unknown that is beyond the stars has been a hot topic for centuries. But, how did the zodiac begin? What makes astrological signs and the alignment of planets and stars so magical? Is it truly prophetic? Does your sign define your personality, past, present, and future? Or is this simply another product of the Barnum Effect?

So I’ll start by asking the obvious: “what’s your sign?” I’m a Leo through and through. While I’m skeptical about the claims of some astrological signs and their relation to my life on a daily basis, I do believe there is some truth here - as is with most things. This topic is one that I have been wanting to write about for some time now. I have always found outer space, stars, planets, etc. to be fascinating. As a child, I remember laying in the grass and watching the stars above me. In my little valley in the forest, I could see so many stars that wouldn’t be visible if I were in the city. I am so thankful I had that childhood experience of growing up somewhere where I could truly connect with nature and the simple things around me that most take for granted on a day-to-day basis. I still stargaze to this day, but I can’t see near as many as I once did in my childhood forest valley home. I’ve seen a plethora of shooting stars throughout my lifetime, two meteor showers, two solar eclipses, and plenty of unidentified objects that were likely satellites… or were they…?

One time when I was driving home from work late one night I saw something that befuddled me. As I drove down the winding 2 lane highway in the darkness of the night I saw what appeared to be a helicopter hovering right above the trees. Now, this area I was driving through was rural. There are few houses in those woods, but there are some. The backroads leading to the site where the “helicopter” was hovering are seldom traveled, especially this late at night. I began processing the event in my mind and questioning if it was a helicopter, why would it be hovering so low and what exactly would it be doing in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night. It just didn’t make sense. I thought about logical explanations and could only come up with one. There is the slim possibility that someone driving on one of the many backroads in that area may have got into an accident and was getting airlifted to a hospital. I’ve seen it happen before on backroads near there. Aside from this idea, I had nothing. By this point, I had obviously slowed down so I could get a better look. Hell, there wasn’t any traffic so it’s not like I was worried about causing an accident or anything. As I looked closer I noticed it wasn’t a helicopter at all. There were about 4-6 large bright lights shining down below the area that the craft was hovering over. The circumference of this craft was much wider than a helicopter - more circular. The lights were far too big and far too bright. Whether it was fear, shock, tiredness, or my stomach growling, I continued to drive on and leave the peculiar scene behind. Now, I know this has nothing to do with astrology or zodiac signs, but it is an interesting story nonetheless.

In reference to zodiac signs, I find that descriptions of a Leo with my particular birthdate are genuinely pretty accurate when describing my personality and conflicts. However, the daily horoscopes are definitely not accurate in my experience. I will say that when I read/listen to them I try to apply something positive from the reading to my daily life. I engage in a deeper thought process and practice mindfulness throughout the day, keeping that positive focus within my mind on the positive message I am supposed to be implementing into my day. I have also found that compatibility readings have been somewhat inaccurate as far as certain zodiac signs getting along or not getting along with other zodiac signs. The biggest obvious red flag for me is how many different sources there are. And guess what? They all say something different on the daily. If zodiac signs and horoscopes are supposed to be accurate, then why don’t all individuals who report them online all say the same thing - or at least something similar?? To play devil's advocate here, I did say earlier that I believe there is some truth to all of this, which is why it interests me so much and also why I believe in this stuff to a degree. There is a lot of magical and wondrous history to unpack in regards to the zodiac and horoscopes. So, let’s jump right in, shall we?

Interesting fact: the word zodiac is derived from Greek terminology meaning “circle of little animals.” We’re a circle of little animals - cute visuals there, eh? Hieroglyphs in Egypt dating as early as the 14th century BC were found to contain a circle of decans (constellations) depicting something that looks a lot like the constellations and zodiac symbols that we know today. In total there were 36 decans found within the temple.

During the first half of the first millennium, Babylonian astronomers created our modern zodiac. They also mapped the previous constellations that were seen in the Egyptian hieroglyphs but continued to add more as they were discovered. In the last half of the 5th century, the Babylonian astronomers divided the many constellations into 12 equal "signs” to represent the 12 months of the year at 30 days per month. Each sign contained 30° of celestial longitude, thus creating the first known celestial coordinate system. According to calculations by modern astrophysics, the zodiac was introduced between 409 and 398 BC and probably within a very few years of 401 BC. Unlike modern astrologers, who place the beginning of the sign of Aries at the place of the Sun at the vernal equinox, Babylonian astronomers fixed the zodiac in relation to stars, placing the beginning of Cancer at the "Rear Twin Star" (β Geminorum) and the beginning of Aquarius at the "Rear Star of the Goat-Fish" (δ Capricorni). Due to the precession of the equinoxes, the time of year the Sun is in a given constellation has changed since Babylonian times, the point of vernal equinox has moved from Aries into Pisces.

You’ll be pleasantly surprised, intrigued, or disgusted to know that all of this does have some roots within religion. The Hebrew Bible shows knowledge of the Babylonian zodiac. E. W. Bullinger noted that the drawings found in the book of Ezekiel were quite similar to the middle four quarters of the zodiac (Lion/Leo, Bull/Taurus, Man/Aquarius, Eagle/Scorpio). You read that right, Scorpio is noted as being an eagle - not a scorpion. Some say that the twelve tribes of Israel are correlated with the zodiac signs found within the Hebrew 12 month calendar. There is an argument that the position of the Israelic tribes around the Tabernacle from the book of Numbers correlates with the exact order of the zodiac, with Judah, Reuben, Ephraim, and Dan representing the middle signs of Leo, Aquarius, Taurus, and Scorpio, respectively. It is shocking how I have heard religious people in modern times talk about how this is all a bunch of garbage, even though some of this is literally correlated with items from the Bible.

To explain daily horoscopes and the connection between the stars, planets, and our zodiac signs, you must engage in a bit of math (yuck). When planets and constellations of the zodiac would align, the Babylonian astronomers of that time would note the experiences that people had and found similarities. These experiences, along with the position of the Earth, Sun, Moon, and constellations and the positions relative to the zodiac signs were stored within a catalogue. This went on for several years and is essentially what began our modern-day daily horoscope. However, it is my personal opinion that a lot of these “professionals” who have their own magical websites where you can get a free daily horoscope, just make shit up to sound interesting. That is obvious by the previously mentioned differentials found within each page. I encourage you to do a quick Google search and you’ll see what I’m talking about. This ties into the belief that the Barnum Effect is in play here. You’ll remember the Barnum Effect from last month's blog. If you haven’t read the June 2021 blog The Imaginarium of Barnum, I suggest you head there next to get a deeper understanding of what I’m talking about before you continue reading. Much of what is broadcasted in daily horoscopes, zodiac sign descriptions, and even within mediumship and tarot readings is full of extremely vague generalities. Because the information is presented in such a vague and generalized way, it then becomes an instance where anyone could apply any of the information to their life in some way. So as you can see, there is some psychological manipulation at play here. Now, I am not saying this is true for all who present the information. I will say that there are A LOT of shams out there. I have seen far more fake sites/readings/etc. than I have seen legit ones. If I had to give a percentage from my personal experience, I’d say about 85% of what I’ve seen is bullshit. But you choose what you believe at the end of the day. I just ask you to keep an open mind and a wise eye about you when scanning the web for horoscopes, zodiac information, tarot, and mediumship.

All of this information is interesting to stew on within your mind. I hope that you learned something new. I know I did when I was researching this topic for the blog. The religious ties were the most surprising thing to me. What did you find most interesting? Drop a comment under the blog on Tumblr or under the Instagram post for this month’s blog and let me know. Tonight if you are able, take a look at the stars and see if you can find the constellations. The plethora of shapes within the brightest stars are brilliant to gaze upon. Who knows, maybe you will find your zodiac constellation. Maybe you will depict a new constellation on your own by combining different combinations of stars. Or maybe you’ll see something that you can’t explain…

Cryptic Mystic Blog by PsychVVitch @psychvvitch

www.LaMorteXiii.com

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dietgaymags · 4 years

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A definitive ranking of DWTS Season 29′s celebrities thus far

So I'm obsessed with Dancing with the Stars as much as the next guy. I’ve seen every season since number 11, when I was like 9 years old. But I dropped off a few seasons ago, disappointed that they really had the nerve to put the legend Lindsey Stirling on the same season as the other legend Jordan Fisher. That was not fair to anyone, because Lindsey would have wiped the floor in literally any other season.

But Season 29′s cast was released and I got excited again. About 80% of these names I was not only familiar with, but were people I enjoyed for some reason or another. Skai Jackson, Nelly, Johnny Weir, AJ McLean, Nev Schulman, Carole Baskin, Justina Machado, Monica Aldama, and the list just goes on. They really said “we need to get young people back into the show.” And they did. I was hooked. And though Len is gone and Carrie Ann is going some sort of which way with her votes (we don’t talk about it), I’ve watched every episode with bright eyes and so much excitement. We have some good dancers this season. And some bad ones. But mostly good. So here’s my definitive ranking of this season’s stars (and, by extension, pros). And if you don’t agree, that’s fine. I am simply a nineteen-year-old girl who likes to watch ballroom dancing.

NUMBER 15: CAROLE MF BASKIN AND PASHA PASHKOV

Besides the moral obligations to not allow a murderer to appear on the show, I think DWTS did a good job trying to rope people in by bringing her on. When the cast list was released, my jaw dropped because I knew she was going home first and I wanted to be there to see it.

And somehow, she did not... go home first? She made it another episode? While I’m sure it was a ploy to keep people interested in the show so they didn’t watch the premiere and drop off, Carole Baskin is sure to go down in DWTS history as one of the worst competitors. Her highest score was a 16, sure, but her lowest was an 11. We’re treading Master P territory. And I had a full traumatic episode watching her in a lion-esque unitard. Fuck, I needed to bleach every orifice on my body. (Overall Rating: 1 dead husband/10)

NUMBER 14: CHARLES OAKLEY & EMMA SLATER

You cannot tell me this man isn’t having the most fun he’s had in a minute. He was another easy-to-spot early elimination, but I actually enjoyed watching him to some degree. Emma danced circles around him, but you could really tell he was trying his damnedest and I appreciate it. And his performances didn’t strike cold, dead fear into my heart like other people.

He also got the same average score as Carole over the first two episodes, but one of those was NOT an 11. Slightly better, imo, just a little less improvement than Carole---which is why Derek booted him in the first place. (Overall rating: 1.5 left feet/10)

NUMBER 13: JESSE METCALFE AND SHARNA BURGESS

Did they---did they ever dance? I literally don’t remember anything other than that Newsies dance, which I have to say I particularly enjoyed. It might be because I like Newsies. It might be because Sharna’s hair is gorgeous this season. I don’t know, but it probably wasn’t because of Jesse’s dancing.

That’s literally all I have to say. (Overall rating: 2 confused braincells/10)

NUMBER 12: CHRISHELL STAUSE AND GLEB SAVCHENKO

WOAH, she’s coming in with the hot takes! Chrishell hasn’t even been eliminated yet! And look, it’s not even Chrishell’s fault that she’s so low on the list. It really isn’t. She’s been performing, well, okay thus far. Not great, considering her highest score was a 26 on a Paso double where she literally did not even dance (look, I’m not a judge, but I would’ve given it a 21 MAYBE). She’s trying, and she seems to be really enjoying it; I absolutely adore her energy. But most of the issue here is attributed to her partner, Gleb.

His choreography is just... I don’t know... lazy. He throws himself around like a god among men and Chrishell is just there. I don’t really appreciate the pros who prefer to dance over their partners instead of with them. I don’t understand why he thinks this method will get him a mirrorball, but it’s just not gonna happen. (Overall rating: 2 measures of actual dancing/10)

NUMBER 11: ANNE HECHE AND KEO MOTSEPE

Look how happy they look! No, but seriously, they didn’t do that bad. They just had a bad week. Week 2, they had a higher average score than SIX other couples on the show, and they left with a score of 21. I legitimately think that their Disney night dance was underscored. Sure, it wasn’t wonderful, but it didn’t deserve a fifteen.

I know they had no chance to win the mirrorball, but Keo has a history of being stuck with less-than-stellar partners. Anne was not a bad match; they just had bad luck and better competition. I did love watching them, though. And Keo is beautiful, but need I say more? (Overall rating: 3.5 early elims/10)

NUMBER 10: VERNON DAVIS AND PETA MURGATROYD CHMERKOVSKIY

I honestly haven’t enjoyed Peta’s choreography since Season 22, when she and Nyle DiMarco ate up the dance floor and left not a single crumb. She and Peta were another pair where I was like, “Wait, who got eliminated? They’re still here?” The judges were right in saying Vernon had a lot of energy on stage, and look at him here. He’s big cheesin’.

They kind of existed for me is all I have to say. The only reason they’re ranked higher than Anne and Keo is because their average score was just overall better. They never scored extremely well, with their highest score being a 22, but they never did too horribly either. They were meh. (Overall rating: 4 touchdowns/10)

NUMBER 9: NELLY AND DANIELLA KARAGACH

Another hot take? Yes. I can never tell whether or not Nelly enjoys being here until he actually dances. During rehearsal, confessionals, critiques, he always looks a little embarrassed or nervous? I’m not sure. But just like Vernon and Peta, all of their dances have been kind of meh.

That’s not to put Daniella down in any sense. It’s her first season as a pro, and her abilities definitely shine through in her performance. But like I said about Gleb earlier, she has a tendency to dance over Nelly at times (see: the Freddy Krueger dance from last week). I don’t see Nelly living up to the standards the judges say he’s lived up to thus far, but that might just be my personal opinion. (Overall rating: 5 heeled sneakers/10)

NUMBER 8: MONICA ALDAMA AND VALENTIN CHMERKOVSKIY

Another surprisingly hot take. I actually really enjoyed each of Monica’s dances this season, especially since she’s someone with essentially zero dance experience. I’m still very pissy that the Ratched dance sent her home---it was one of my favorite dances of the night, and I have no clue why she only got a 22 for it (especially when Chrishell and Gleb got a 26).

Val has always been someone on the show who can take a non-dancer and genuinely make them better. This is the case with Monica. We saw so much improvement with her over the weeks. We’re getting to the part of the list where I love all of the dancers. Still, Monica and Jeannie should not have been the bottom 2 last week, but in the case between the two, it’s right that Monica was eliminated. Still, I would have loved to see her next week. (Overall rating: 6 cheer pyramids/10)

NUMBER 7: SKAI JACKSON AND ALAN BERSTEN

Sure, she got the first 10 of the season. Sure, the Chucky dance was kind of spectacular. But she’s also had the lowest score for two out of seven weeks so far. She has yet to be in the bottom, but I’m sure that’s the fans working for her. I can’t deny her talent on the dance floor, but I would argue that objectively, Skai has made the most mistakes out of everyone this season.

She’s been remarkably inconsistent over the course of the season, but when she’s good, she’s really, really good. She was my pick to win when the cast was released, but now I don’t see that happening unless the fans really come to vote on her, which I think they will. But there is no excuse for an 18 on Week 6. She can do better. I know she can. But until then, she stays in the middle of my list. (Overall rating: 6 Ms. Kiplings/10)

NUMBER 6: JEANNIE MAI AND BRANDON ARMSTRONG

To be completely honest, I had Jeannie Mai pegged as an early elimination from Week 1. But she and Brandon continue to astound me as a team. I love every single one of their dances, sad that they’ve been consistently underscored. That Hannibal Lecter paso was stunning, and the Up dance on Disney night made me tear up a little.

They’re not higher for the sole reason that others are just better. Not because I don’t love what they put out on the stage every week, but Jeannie just isn’t the strongest technically. Until they get eliminated, though, I’ll be watching with bated breath. (Overall rating: 7 hole-in-ones/10)

NUMBER 5: KAITLYN BRISTOWE AND ARTEM CHIGVENTSEV

Do I just not see what everyone else is seeing when they’re obsessing over Kaitlyn Bristowe? I mean, everything she’s done so far has been wonderful, but she’s not my favorite. Technically, it’s on point 85% of the time. and she has the second-highest point total so far in the competition, but she has yet to do a dance where I step back and think, “Wow.” That’s what puts her behind the top four.

I did not like the Cruella DeVille paso doble at all last week, but I think that was attributed to the song choice more than anything else. I have yet to be taken aback by Kaitlyn and Artem, but their work is undeniably, objectively some of the best on the show. (Overall rating: 7 roses/10)

NUMBER 4: AJ MCLEAN AND CHERYL BURKE

Now we’re at the spot on the list where if any of these guys win the mirrorball, I will be satisfied. Something about AJ is simply magnetic. He has such a kind disposition and wonderful talent on the dance floor, it’s so hard not to love him. His samba is one of my favorite dances on this season so far, and I’m genuinely concerned that he’s been underscored this whole time.

Cheryl is a mf VETERAN at this, too. She knows how to teach this man to destroy a dance floor. The energy he brings, the life he brings, the nasty footwork that he DEMOLISHES. I did not expect to love AJ as much as I do. In my opinion, the most improvement we’ve seen in a star this season. (Overall: 8.5 backstreets/10)

NUMBER 3: JUSTINA MACHADO AND SASHA FARBER

Justina is living proof that you don’t have to be as big around as my pinky finger to do ballroom dancing well. She’s easily the best female star this season, and Sasha has accentuated her talents on the dance floor without overpowering her, which I enjoy. On top of that, she looks so happy to be here, which translates heavily into her dancing.

I will say, not every dance from her has been my favorite, but there hasn’t been a single dance out of her that I haven’t liked. Her presence is so powerful and destructive that everyone needs to watch their backs. Remember, this is a sitcom mom, not a professional dancer. (Overall rating: 8.5 days at a time/10)

NUMBER 2: JOHNNY WEIR AND BRITT STEWART

I am a firm believer that Johnny and Britt should have gotten a perfect 30 on their contemporary back in Week 5. I am also a firm believer that they should have gotten a perfect 30 on their Viennese waltz last week. I am consistently blown away by Britt’s choreography every single week, and their chemistry as a pair is unlike anyone I’ve seen in the show’s history.

What I like about them so much is how much of a team they are. That really makes so much difference out on the dance floor. Their grace and style is completely unmatched, and as a first season pro, Britt is destroying some of the pros who have been here for years... Gleb. I can’t wait to see their performances every single week, and I hope they continue to dance together somehow even after the show is over. (Overall rating: 9.9 triple axels/10)

NUMBER 1: NEV SCHULMAN AND JENNA JOHNSON CHMERKOVSKIY

Hey, quick question: did you expect this? Because I definitely didn’t. Catfish has always been my guilty pleasure show to watch when I’m bored and lonely, and Nev has always been this super dorky guy, so when they announced the cast list, I was like “Oh, this is gonna be funny as hell.” Because it could only go one of two ways: 1) Nev fumbles around like a dork and goes home pretty early, or 2) he wins the mirrorball.

APPARENTLY it’s the latter. Nev surprised me, and I think everyone, with his natural talent, and Jenna is heavily playing off that in her choreography. She’s been giving him very difficult, technical work and he’s has continued to astound. With the first 30 of the season rightfully deserved, Nev is a force to be reckoned with. Like I’ve said earlier, some of the pros like to dance over their partners to hide their weaknesses. I would go so far as to argue Jenna lets him dance over her. Together, they’re an absolute wildfire, and if they continue at this pace, consider the competition already won. (Overall rating: 10 chest hairs/10)

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allofthismatters · 4 years

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I wrote this a while ago and never finished/posted it, so here’s some Ava and Sara recovering from 4x12. :)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22942597 -----------------------------

Finding Ava felt like one of Sara’s nightmares.

So far it was all darkened hallways that branched off and never ended, with nothing but dim blue lights that hurt her eyes and made her dizzy. She’d spent years learning to control her emotions no matter the circumstance, but now she can hardly hear her own breath over the blood rushing in her ears.

She can’t stop turning images over in her head of Ava—hurt, trapped, tortured, starved, weak…dead. Sara has been every one of those things herself at one point or another, but it feels ten times worse imagining any of it happening to Ava.

She’s spent plenty of time the last two weeks begging herself to believe things never would have worked out between them in the long run, just so losing her wouldn’t hurt so much. She drifted between forced indifference and allowing the crushing heartache to find its way through until she was numb and exhausted by it.

There was no more numbness now—she’s running on pure terror and rage…rage that anyone would do this to the woman she loves, and rage for allowing herself to spend so much time thinking Ava was just too angry to pick up the phone when she was actually god knew where, alone and in trouble, and how could she let this happen?

She and John are searching wildly, and all Sara can think about is how fucking cold this place is and how much Ava must hate it.

They open door after door only to find room after empty room, Sara’s stomach getting sicker and her lungs getting tighter until finally, finally, she crashes into John and sees why he’s stopped. The door in front of them is cracked open, light filtering into the hallway. She pushes past him and opens the door with fire in her eyes.

She’s ready to kill anything in her way.

The room is empty besides a figure hunched over in a chair. It’s slumped against the wall, gaunt and freezing, hair plastered across cheeks—

Sara’s flying toward her before either of them can blink. Not a thought in her head of what she might be running into, years of League instincts momentarily abandoned in order to get her hands on Ava before she loses her mind. Sure, she can’t see her face, but she knows her anywhere.

There you are.

For a split second, all the adrenaline keeping Sara upright drains at the sight of her…Ava, who she’s spent all day scared to death for and who she’s ached for since the night she told her to get out of her office. Ava.

Sara kneels in front of her; she can distantly hear herself murmuring nonsense as she clears the wet clumps of hair from the face in front of her. Ava lifts her head and makes only the briefest eye contact before her strength fails her and her chin hits her chest so hard that Sara can hear her teeth clatter. She lifts her face, but finds nothing besides familiar eyes trying and failing to look at her before they fall closed again.

Sara swears under her breath and feels for her pulse.

There’s a lot of fumbling as they free her. It’s not lost on Sara the way John tries to help get Ava into her arms at first, and she feels a pang of appreciation for how well he understands her. She wants, needs, needs to make Ava safe herself, needs to feel the strain of her body, but Ava’s so much taller than her and she’s such dead weight that Sara finally relents to rationality and lets John carry her to the ship.

Sara arrives first, yelling for Gideon, losing words when she realizes she has no idea what Ava needs…what even happened to her, really? All she knows is—

“Gideon, she’s-- Ava’s cold. She’s really cold.” She gets the words out like a scared child as she clears off the chair in the medbay and digs for a bag of fluid in the cabinet. John is just behind her and settles Ava’s limp form down while Sara forces her shaking hands to secure the medbay cuff on her wrist. She presses on Ava’s arm until she finds a vein, only vaguely aware that she’s muttering a steady stream of soft words that are half for her girlfriend and half for herself.

“You’re ok, hang on for me. You’re ok.”

There’s a machine somewhere behind her that’s at least registering a pulse.

“There you go, keep--don’t go anywhere, babe.”

She gets the IV secured, figuring it can’t hurt. Her eyes frantically scan the medbay screens, lips moving as her clouded mind tries to make sense of it. All she needs is proof of life, and she seems to be in luck. Ava’s heartbeat picks up just the smallest bit, and with it, loosens the vice around Sara's lungs.

“Ok, that’s my girl….that’s my girl.” The words slip out unfiltered, tender, automatic and she fights off the quick stab of hurt that asks, Are you sure she’s still your girl? There’s panicked anguish bubbling up in her chest, and while now would be an awful time to throw up, Sara feels sick to her stomach. What if she was too late? What if she has to sit here and watch another person she loves die right in front of her eyes? How is she going to survive another loss, this loss—

Gideon mercifully cuts off her spiraling thoughts with what Sara probably could have figured out herself: that Director Sharpe is suffering from severe dehydration and exhaustion…her body temperature is 85 degrees, her pulse is irregular, her blood pressure is nowhere near safe…Sara misses the rest of it as her vision swims and her stomach clenches with nausea.

“Captain, I’d recommend getting her something warmer. I can fabricate—", Gideon begins.

“Stay with her, Sara, I’ll go get it.”

Sara startles when she realizes Zari is in the medbay now, just in time for her to hurry out again. She turns back to the chair, dragging and clawing all her emotions back under her control so she doesn’t come apart. Now that she’s got Ava in the light, she looks like death and she's not sure she's ever hated anything more in her life. Sara yanks at the filthy hems of her pantlegs until Ava is free from them, then wrestles her damp undershirt over her head, panic mounting when she can’t pull it free.

Son of a bitch.

Maybe she’s swearing out loud or maybe it’s just in her head, but she finally gives up and tears at the hem until it rips.

It’s only a shirt, but it’s thin and wet and smudged with dust and clinging to her already clammy skin. It’s only a shirt, but it feels like a threat and she needs it away from Ava’s body now.

Ava’s always cold. It's one of the first real things Sara remembers knowing about her. She has five undershirts just like this, always folded neatly, one for each work day. More than once, Sara has moved one to a drawer just so she can hear Ava’s annoyed voice echo from inside her closet, Sara, where the hell is Thursday? Her sweatshirts go missing all the time only to reappear days later, smelling faintly like her girlfriend. And she’s come to love the inevitable moment in the middle of most nights when she wakes up to Ava pressing back into her arms, shivering until the heat of Sara’s body makes her still and relaxed again.

She’s always teased Ava about it, even found it endearing, but now it feels like the most serious thing in the world, and Sara feels a weight of overwhelming shame in her chest.

Nobody fucking kept you warm.

She leans over Ava, searching her face for life, for anything. Sara moves awkwardly to get herself onto the narrow bed and wraps an arm around her girlfriend’s back. She clasps her protectively to her chest, flinching at her freezing skin as she tries to force her own warmth into her blood.

Zari comes back and the two of them get blankets tucked in around Ava and suddenly, there’s nothing left to do. The blood has stopped rushing in Sara’s ears and if she can’t quite feel Ava’s pulse, she can at least hear it beeping steadily on Gideon’s monitor. Her breath is a slow, pained rattle, but it’s breath and that’s all that matters. Sara is trying to remember how to breathe herself when she feels a gentle touch on her hands.

“Sara. Hey. Don’t hold onto her so tight.”

Zari has been milling about the whole time, making blankets and bandages appear when Sara needs them without intruding. Now her eyes are understanding and full of compassion as she pries Sara’s white knuckles away from where they’re digging into Ava’s bare back so hard she’s shaking.

She nods distantly and tries to relax, moving her hands to Ava’s cheeks. It’s hard to keep from weeping at the bone-melting relief of touching her again. It’s been too long, and she just wants to see her and talk to her again. Even with Ava in her arms, she misses her so much her chest hurts.

She sits for what seems like hours, studying her up and down. Sara’s eyes are hungry for the sight of her, her arms craving the soft weight of her body. The only thing that helps Sara dispel the lingering combination of absolute rage and sickening panic is taking inventory of Ava: her eyes sunken in, face dirty, bloody hair and ribs prominent under where her hand rests. An angry red scratch across her jaw and onto her ear. Her lips are cracked and bleeding, too. All things to tend to once Gideon’s done with her and she’s free to take care of her in privacy.

For now, she can only hold her and hope that somehow, in her oblivion, Ava knows she’s safe again. Gideon’s scattered updates startle her, someone brings Sara water and a snack that she takes gratefully, Ava’s body occasionally jerks against her as she fights complete unconsciousness. Sara rubs her back, hushing her without knowing whether she hears her or not. She's nearly drifting off herself when Gideon next speaks.

“Captain, if I might suggest, Director Sharpe will heal more easily if she’s less distressed and able to rest. I’d advise a sedative to keep her—”

Sara doesn’t hear the rest of what Gideon has to say. All she hears is a weak moan from the woman in her arms followed by a voice that’s gone unused for weeks—

“No. No—” Ava’s eyes are still closed, but there she is—alive, aware, talking. Begging not to have her senses taken away. Not again.

She’s gasping in bits of air as she blindly fumbles for whatever is on her arm that might steal her away from reality again. Sara feels nails digging into her arm and she’s not sure whether Ava is fighting her or clinging to her. She’s not sure which would break her heart more.

Sara catches her hand, holding loosely so Ava doesn’t feel trapped. Her other hand goes to rest on Ava’s forehead and she tries to keep her voice even and calm. “Ava. Ava, listen. Listen to me.” Ava pushes Sara’s hand away and Sara lets her. “Listen. It’s ok, nothing you don’t want.” She covers the inside of Ava’s arm to keep Ava from pulling off the only thing keeping her hydrated. “Leave that. You’re safe. It’s me, won’t let anything happen that you don’t want, baby.”

She stays close to Ava, trying, trying not to touch her because that’s what she needs, she needs space to let her mind catch up to where she is, but seeing her this wrecked has her heart crumbling inside her chest.

Once Ava has remembered how to breathe again, once her hands have stopped fighting and are back by her side, exhausted, shaking, Sara brushes fingertips over her wrist and covers her hand. “I’m here, sweetheart, I’ve got you.”

Ava winces and shuts her eyes against the brightness of the room. “Gideon, dim the lights?” Sara mumbles, stroking hair off of Ava’s face.

It seems to take hours, but Ava eventually gets her eyes open, takes a look at Sara and all the tension in her depleted body falls away in a rush, leaving her nothing more than an exhausted heap. The relief feels like a tidal wave. If Sara were standing it would knock her off her feet. She finally feels emotion bubbling up in her chest, nowhere to go but out, and no matter how hard she pushes it down, she feels a sob starting in her gut and getting stuck in her throat. She’s not sure whether she’s going to cry or be sick.

Ava's lost the very last of her energy and lays there, eyelids heavy, squeezing Sara’s hand reassuringly, rhythmically—the way she always does when they’re in public together. Right here, it says.

It seems to take hours before Ava closes her eyes again, breathes deeply and swallows hard. She brings one shaky hand to pinch the bridge of her nose.

“Fuck.” Ava sounds more pissed off than anything, like she’d simply been woken up by a car alarm in the night, and a sharp, hysterical sort of laugh bursts out of Sara, closer to a sob than anything. “How long?”

“Two weeks.” Sara cautiously reaches out, moving a lock of hair from Ava’s face and tucking it behind her ear. When Ava doesn’t startle or protest her touch, she does the same on the other side and then leaves her hand resting on her forehead again.

“Jesus. How did—I was home when—"

“Just rest, it doesn’t matter right now.”

Ava stills, breathing a bit steadier. She nods in agreement and stays quiet, swallowing against what Sara assumes is nausea, if her own experiences have taught her anything.

She doesn't know what finally breaks her--maybe it's just the realization that the real danger has passed and that Ava is ok, or maybe it's the way Ava keeps a hand on her every time she shuts her eyes, like she's making sure she's there--but Sara notices her own tears coming once it’s too late; her face has already crumpled and then she’s weeping, as quietly as she can. She just can’t help it. She hasn’t heard Ava’s voice or touched her skin in weeks and it’s like coming in from a storm. Coming home. She’s home.

Ava’s eyes are closed, but no matter how hard she tries, there are loud catches in Sara's breath and occasional fat tears landing on Ava’s chest.

“Don’t cry.” Ava’s hand reaches up blindly, looking for tears to clear away and instead jabs Sara somewhere near the eye. Sara nods with a shaky smile, holding Ava’s hand and using it to wipe her eyes before kissing her knuckles.

“Sorry. Just missed you so much.”

Ava seems to relax at that and she turns herself back onto her side, whimpering with pain, just to get back in Sara’s arms. She burrows in close and Sara holds her tight, like someone just gave her permission to breathe again. Ava responds with a soft kiss to her jaw that goes straight to her gut, squeezing pleasantly, reassuringly. It’s a comfort she thought she might never get back.

“Don’t let go of me yet.”

“Never.” Sara tightens her arms, kissing her dirt-smudged forehead, then her temple, her cheek, her nose, her chapped lips. “Never.”

#avalance #sara lance #ava sharpe #legends of tomorrow

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theglowstickchronicles · 4 years

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I wish I could bottle the feeling I have when thinking of my air conditioning unit.

To many -to most if not ALL- of you, that probably sounds like a really weird sentence. I don’t live in the desert where it’s 120 degrees in the summer, and I don’t live in the tropics where the humidity is consistently 90%. Where I do live is New England, where global warming has meant the “first heat wave of the summer” aka it’s been over 90 degrees and over 85% humidity for the last 4 days, the last 2 days of spring and the first 2 days of summer. And I’ve also lived in a house with central air for 3 years without almost ever using it.

Let me start off by saying we had a window air conditioner growing up, and we almost never installed an air conditioner in my bedroom, so a window fan had to suffice. Central air was what my rich friends had, and was a sign of being upper middle class. I’m unfortunately still in the very lower end of middle class but I have a fantastic credit score, thus a house with central air.

So to start us off, I have a false sense of being upper middle class which has its drawbacks but ultimately feels pretty good. In about a week and a half I’m going to need you guys to remind me to post a picture of my backyard pool I just bought so I can show you the level of my delusional ass.

Recently it has been hot and humid. I’m talking being sweaty 24/7. I was sweating in the shower. The air itself is wet. I’ve been straight up leaving the windows of my car open at night and at work because otherwise I literally can’t drive and have to wait outside while it cools down. I’ve been standing in front of a fan while watching television or typing. I considered sleeping in my basement for am embarrassing amount of time yesterday. And this is coming from someone who slept UNDER A COMFORTER with just a window fan until I turned 26 and bought my own house, because even when I rented a house with friends my room had only a box fan in the window due to the shape.

I knew something had to be wrong with my central air on account of the fact that I set it to 64 when I got home from work Saturday and when I woke up Sunday morning, feeling like I had just gotten out of a hot tub, it was 78 degrees in the stagnant air of my house. I’ve only used the central air 3 times in the last 3 years and that had never happened, so I did what any sane person does and googled the problem.

Turns out there are 9 billion reasons your central air won’t blow cold air, which narrowed it down exactly none. So I did more intense googling, turning on my nurse brain, and did what any good critical care nurse does: starts at the patient and works their way back.

Now I need to remind you that I’ve never had central air, thus my father has never had central air. The man has taught me a lot of things about a lot of things; how to mow the lawn, how to build a garden, how to change a light bulb, what different lights on my car mean, how to build furniture (not from scratch), etc. The two things the man did not teach me was about central air, and how to call for a professional for help because in my house we did not do that, we just fixed things and crossed our fingers.

So I took my Dr. Google Handyman education and followed the air ducts to the main central unit and found where the air filter lives. It turns out you are supposed to change those over 3 months which, my bad, it’s been a few years. Needless to say it was disgusting. Luckily the previous owners had left 2 replacement filters in the basement, which I had been ignoring since 2017. I triumphantly turned the AC back on and waited for the cold air to blow out.

Nothing.

My Dr. Google Handyman education then informed me that due to not being able to blow air, it’s possible the condensor coil had frozen. I did more googling because what the fuck is a condensor coil. Well let me tell you boys and girls that shit had about 2 inches of ice on it, despite being 95 degrees outside.

Problem.

So I did what any sane person would do and I cleaned the outside unit, sprayed it with warm hose water, and turned just the fan on. Dethawed that bitch.

And I will let you know this: it was a crisp 66 degrees in my house when I woke up this morning.

I feel like this must be what patients feel like when they WedMD their shit and decide they have cancer.

I’m clearly an HVAC expert. ANDDDD I did it MYSELF. No Dad to help. Just me and my chromebook. And the sangria I drank when I got frustrated.

I had to take excedrin this morning even though we aren’t supposed to take tylenol before work so they can check for fever. Sorry, wine headaches take precedence.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

#personal

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luv-surveys · 3 years

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Have you ever started reading a book and wondered if you’d read it before? yes i have. What has been bothering you a lot lately? the fact that i’m sick and super behind on all of my homework but can’t do anything about it. What (or who) have you been missing lately? i’ve been missing home lately since i’m going home this weekend for the first time in a few months. Are you trustworthy? i’d like to believe so. Did your parents teach that white lies were ok? they never specified but i was taught that lies in general are bad. Have you ever hallucinated? yes. Do you sleep with your door open or closed? i sleep with my bedroom door open, but i sleep with my dorm door closed. What flags do you have in your room, if any? i don’t have any flags. What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? i’d probably say beginning to play music in fourth grade, as that really set me down the path that i’m on right now as a student in music school. What is the worst decision you ever made? probably beginning to let my anxiety control me -- it led me down a path that i’m still recovering from, a year later. Do you miss college? no, given that i’m in college right now... Have you ever called a teacher “mom”? i once called my french teacher “mom” because i accidentally said “madame” without the d so it sounded like “ma-ame” = “mom.” What is your favorite arcade game? probably skee-ball. i used to play that all the time growing up. Do you feel neglected? no. What school subject(s) are/were your best? definitely french and english. Are you allergic to grass? no. Do you remember to water plants? no... hence why i don’t own plants anymore. What season is your birthday in? it’s in fall. Name 3 creative people you know. my friend sophie, my friend danielle, and my friend dan. Name 3 YouTubers you aspire to be like. i’d say aspen ovard, jasmine from tbhstudying, and ava jules. What color was your first car? i’ve never owned a car. What year did you graduate? i graduated this year, 2020. When was the last time you saw the person you currently have feelings for? last saturday. Have you ever been scammed? yes. Are you allergic to pollen? yes :( What style of wedding dress do you like best? probably ballgown. Are you over your first love? i’m like 90% there. Do you talk on the phone a lot? pretty often. Would you rather call or text? probably text. Do you always answer your phone? no, i only answer if i recognize the number. When was the last time you went to a party? there really haven’t been any parties since quarantine started, but my friend did have a birthday in may, so probably then. What was the last thing you ate? chicken noodle soup. What’s the last book you checked out from the library? i checked out like nine books, all young adult fantasy. Do you have a twitter? no. If so, what was the last thing you tweeted? nothing. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? the guy i’m seeing. What’s the last thing you cooked on the stove? pancakes. What color is the cover of the last notebook you used? white and gold. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? a girl on my snap. Who sent the last e-mail you got? my flute professor responding to my email about a rental. What song is currently stuck in your head? “look what you made me do” by taylor swift Do you have a favorite shape? probably circle. What color are the sheets on your bed? at home, they’re yellow. in my dorm, they’re pink, What time do you usually go to bed? usually, i go to bed between 11 and 12. Do you ever use coloring books? no. Are you planning on watching the Olympics? when they actually happen, yes. Do you pronounce the word “often” with or without a “t” in the middle? with the t. Have you ever been on a trapeze? no. Do you enjoy popping bubble wrap? yes of course. Are there any waterfalls near where you live? no. Do you like seafood? not particularly -- i do like shrimp, though. Have you ever had to wear a uniform for anything? yes, for marching band. If so, what did it look like? it was a maroon jacket, black bibbers, black long socks, black marching shoes, white gauntlets, white gloves, and a maroon shako. and under we had to wear our tour shirts and spandex/leggings. Do you personally know anyone who is an author? yes, my dad is. Do you own a Polaroid camera? nope. Do you enjoy baking? i love baking! What’s your favorite type of flower? right now, daisies. Last time (if ever) you were on an airplane, where were you going? home from florida. Do you know anyone who is left-handed? i have a couple left-handed friends and family members. What is something you think is underrated? probably classical music. too many people think it’s boring but there are some really amazing pieces. Around what temperature do you consider it to be too hot outside? probably around 85 degrees. In what ways do you expect your life to be different one year from now? i expect covid to not be as big of an issue. How often do you travel outside of the state/province you live in? probably around once a month at most. What’s a hobby you used to have, but don’t anymore? definitely reading. i used to read all the time, and now i just don’t have the time or motivation. What has been your favorite job you’ve had so far? i’ve never had a job. What’s your favorite kind of salsa/dip to go with tortilla chips? probably guacamole. Do you wash your car by hand or drive through a car wash? i don’t have a car. Where is the farthest north you’ve traveled to? alaska. Farthest south? florida. East? russia. West? again, alaska. How often do you run the dishwasher? at my house, we run the dishwasher every night. Do you wash your face at the sink or in the shower? i wash it in the shower. Name a stereotype about your gender that you don’t fit. i don’t enjoy wearing dresses whatsoever. Name a stereotype about your age that you don’t fit. i don’t have any interest in trying drugs or smoking. Do you have any unusual decorations in your home? we have a “butler” named jeeves, a family of elephants on a window sill facing away from the front door for good luck, and a couple other things. Do you have any uncommon kitchen appliances, such as espresso machines, waffle irons, etc? we have a panini maker and other things like that. What did your parents major/minor in in college, if they went? my mom majored in psychology while my dad majored in business. Has either of their careers influenced what career you chose or want to pursue? nope. What is the highest level math class you’ve completed? precalculus. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? probably around 7. How old were you when you learned how to swim? i’d say 10ish. How do you react when someone is rude to you? i get annoyed but try to remain sweet and kind so i don’t stoop to their level/they don’t have anything against me. Have you ever had a friend who was too clingy? yes, and it was annoying. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? probably snowstorms/blizzards. Why is your least favorite season your least favorite? i hate winter because it’s cold and depressing. Do you have a Netflix account? yes. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? yeah, occasionally that happens. Where is your favorite place to go on vacation? i enjoy traveling to europe since there’s so much history there. How long does it take to get there? it’d be about a six hour flight. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? this fall when i started college. What room in your home do you spend the least amount of time in? i’d say our downstairs bathroom -- i never use that bathroom. What is the last random act of kindness you did? i can’t really remember since i’ve been alone and sick for the past few days. Do you do anything to reduce the amount of electricity you use? not really... Are you usually open to trying a new food that you aren’t familiar with? yes, but if it’s some type of body part (like liver) then no. Do you listen to Panic! At The Disco? no. Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? nope. Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm? not currently. Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you couldn’t say it back? no. If your Facebook status doesn’t get any likes/comments, does it bother you? i never post on facebook. Which friend do you confide in most? the guy i’m seeing haha. Do you wear a cross? no. What is your opinion on Arby’s? it’s good and their fries are amazing. When you have your own kitchen, how will it be done? i’d like an island definitely, and lots of counter space. i’d want it to be an open layout too. What is your favorite doughnut? probably jelly. Do you have a hot tub? If so, where is it located? no way. Did you read the Twilight series, or jump on the bandwagon after the movie? i have never read the entire series or been interested in it. What is your favorite party game? wii party or cards against humanity. Do you or your parents rake your yard? my parents do. Were you pro-Obama? nope, but i couldn’t vote anyway. What is your favorite scent from Bath & Body Works? i think a thousand wishes? What was the last illegal thing you did? probably speeding when i was driving. Who did you last go to the movies with? i think my sister, her boyfriend, and my ex. What color was the last vehicle you were in? white. Do you have any family members in the military right now? nope. Is there a ceiling fan in the room you’re in? no. When was the last time you wished time would move faster? during my class earlier today. Are there any owls in your room (as decor, of course)? nope. Have you ever heard voices? Audibly? no. Do you believe in angels and demons? yes. Who is the worst neighbor you have ever had? we have neighbors that accuse us of things we don’t do and get into fights with us over stupid things. Did your Barbies go on dates? yes! If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? i’m straight. Where did you meet your first crush? school. Do you remember the first time your first crush ever said hi to you? nope. Do you ever go places with wet hair? occasionally, but i try not to. Who is your favorite little girl? probably my cousin. What do you want the most in life? happiness. What is a decision you’ve made that changed your entire life? my college decision. Do you ever wonder what kind of person you’d have turned out to be if a certain event never happened to you? occasionally, yeah. When you’re home alone, do you still shower with the bathroom door closed? yep, i keep it closed and locked. If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? maybe ariana grande. What are your top 3 favorite genres of music? classical, jazz, and electroswing. Where did you buy your dishes from? i’m pretty sure my mom gets them from williams-sonoma. Do you think Mars will be colonized in your lifetime? not in my lifetime. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought that turned out to be a waste of money? probably some type of appliance that i never use. What’s something you’ve bought that turned out to be way more useful than you anticipated? my shower shoes! Have you ever been on a ship? yeah. Do you ever take intentional breaks from checking/posting on social media? nope. Who was Van Halen’s better singer - David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar? i don’t know what you’re talking about lol. Which fictional character has the most memorable quotes? maybe dumbledore from harry potter? i can’t think of anyone off the top of my head. What’s a class you did not take in school, but now wish you had? forensic sciences. Have you ever been to either of your parents’ workplaces? all the time. What do you think of the ‘Healthy At Every Size’ movement/philosophy? no... not every size is healthy bruh. Have you ever been bitten so hard that their teeth marks were there after? yes. Ever been given a hickey? (Love bite) yeah. Ever gave one? nope. Are you more of an outgoing type or shy type? more shy. Do you think it’s weird if guys wear make-up like eyeliner? nah. Are you self conscious? If so what are you self conscious about? a lot, but mainly my height and paleness. Are you flirty at all? sometimes. Are you racist at all? no. Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) depends on the disability, but more likely than not, no. If you found a baby randomly by itself what would you do? probably look around for parents, and if they’re not there, contact authorities. Would you rather adopt or have your own child? i’d rather have my own. What would you class as cheating on someone? purposefully seeking a romantic relationship/interaction with another person. Do you try to be politically correct? i try to. What’s your favorite kind of sea critter? maybe starfish. Have you ever tasted locally-made honey before? no. As far as earrings go, would you rather wear hoops or studs? hoops! Do you find P.E. humiliating, or think schools shouldn’t teach it? i don’t think it’s humiliating, but from my experience, i don’t know if it’s worth teaching. Do you recycle? yeah. Are you interested in current world issues? for the most part. Do you think you are mature, or immature? mostly mature. What kind of career are you interested in? i’m interested in teaching or performing music. Do you own a pair of sunglasses? yes. Do you use bobby pins, hair clips, or elastic hair ties? Which? i use all of the above. How badly do you get acne? (If at all) i barely get any acne. What’s the best way to cope with a breakup? remember all the things you hated about them and distract yourself. also, a glow-up and showing off your successes never hurts. If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason? probably because they think i’m egotistical. How many text messages do you have in your inbox atm? 72. When was the last time you had a difficult decision to make? probably deciding whether or not i should stay with the guy i’m seeing. In school, what subjects do/did you find the most difficult? math! Do you still speak to the person you had your first kiss with? not really. Where did you meet the last person you swapped numbers with? here at college. Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? a kid from my theory class. Who was the last person that asked if you were okay? my roommate, because i’ve been unhealthy. What does your handwriting look like? it’s pretty bubbly and very neat. Do you use any products on your hair, other than shampoo and conditioner? yes, i use dry shampoo and dry conditioner. Who were your best friends in primary school? lindsey. Do you still speak to any of them? nope. What was the last thing you bought from a vending machine? i think candy. What color hair did your first crush have? blond. What type of shoes do you find the most comfortable? moccasins! Are you more masculine or feminine? more feminine, definitely. If you could design your own mug, what would you put on it? something minimalist, like a tiny illustration. What is the best beach you’ve been to? the beach at ocean city, maryland. What is one thing you physically can’t do? i cannot do a pull-up, nope. Have you ever been to a funeral? yep. Have you ever visited your state’s capitol building? no. Have you ever visited your nation’s capitol building? yes. Do/did you have a favorite seat in church? yeah, the one on the left close to the front. What is your favorite park? probably six flags? or disney? Have you ever felt an earthquake? nope. Do you chew gum regularly? no. Where did you go on your first train ride? i think when i was a baby. Do you know anyone with a dual citizenship? yep. What sports teams do you root for, if any? (Extra points for Boston fans.) i don’t root for any sports teams. Do you dunk your cookies in milk? no ma’am. What is something you are confident about? my eye color. Have you ever been physically addicted to a substance? What? i’ve been addicted to afrin during colds, but i always manage to tear myself away. How do you feel about needles? they’re not great, but i’m not particularly scared of them. What is your favorite accent to listen to? i love scottish accents. What was the reason you last got dressed up? church. Have you ever been the subject of cruel rumors? not really. ^ What were they? -- Do you prefer loose or form-fitting clothing? more form-fitting. ^ What about on your preferred gender? more form-fitting as well. What do you do when you are really, really mad? i go somewhere to be alone so i can cool off. Would you rather go naked than wear fur? i’d rather wear fur, but i wouldn’t like it. Do you put a line through your 7’s? no. ^ What about your Z’s? nope. What is one thing that someone could do to you that is unforgivable? cheat on me if we’re in a relationship. Are you able to forgive and forget? it’s hard, but sometimes. Do you like cold pizza? no. What is your favorite fruit? pineapple! What about your favorite fruit juice, if it differs from solid fruit? white grape juice has my heart. Do you like broccoli and cheese? i’ve never had it but it sounds yummy. What about potatoes and cheese? oh yeah that’s good. Have you written a letter by hand, lately? To whom? yep, to the guy i’m seeing. Toaster or toaster oven? toaster. What are you most known for? being a musician haha. Do you have any reputations? What are they? i don’t believe so. Do you wear band shirts? nope. ^ What band was on the last one you wore? -- Do you own any hats? Describe them. yeah, i own a black adidas cap and a white cap. What about masks, you got any? Describe those. oh, i have plenty... thanks covid. i have a black one, a white one, a pink one, a brown one, a green camo one, and a blue floral one. What was the last thing to leave you speechless? probably my flu since it hurts to talk LOL. Do your parents like your friends? If they don’t, why not? yep. Have you been called a bad influence? no way. Describe your favorite pair of socks. i like all my pairs of black socks. Have you experienced any life-changing news, events, etc, lately? not really. Have any self-done piercings? nope. Ever pierced someone else? nooo. Do you get distracted easily? sometimes, but not if i’m focused on homework. Is talking to strangers enjoyable for you, or stressful? it’s stressful usually. How do you feel about getting new neighbors? it’s exciting! How many ceiling fans are in your home? one. Do you tweet your life away? nope. How do you feel about shameless self promoting? i don’t mind it if it isn’t too in the way. When reading words. like. this. do. you always pause after the periods? yep. What about screaming when reading something IN ALL CAPS? uh-huh.

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bangtan-sonyeonddaeng · 5 years

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BTS Reaction: They kiss your body affectionately because you are insecure/enjoy it.

I feel like every member of BTS would just absolutely worship their s.o’s body.

Namjoon

Waking up next to Kim Namjoon was always your favorite part of the day. He always made sure that there wasn’t one inch of your body that didn’t feel absolutely smothered in affection. He knew how much you adored his kisses in the morning. He woke up next to you and was always just so taken with your beauty. He would start by kissing your forehead, your cheeks, your eyelids, gently trying to coax you out of your slumber. He would kiss your neck, your hands, your legs, and only when you finally woke up would he kiss you on your lips. As he looked into your eyes he moved up towards you and gently kissed your lips. “Good morning baby”. You couldn’t help but let out a giggle as you cupped his cheek with your hand, “Good morning indeed”.

Jin

When Jin came home and found you standing in front of the mirror crying he immediately ran to you. He cupped your face in his hands as he gently kissed your cheeks. “Jagi, what’s wrong? Did something happen?” “I’m sorry Jin. I know you told me not to read the hate comments about me but I couldn’t help it. I can’t help but think your fans are right. I’m not attractive enough to be with someone like-“ Your words were cut off with a kiss from him. “Jin-“ Another kiss. “Stop. I don’t want to hear you say you aren’t good enough for me don’t ever think that. You are the most beautiful person on the planet and I will keep kissing you until you believe me.” Jin placed kisses all over your face and neck until you were giggling. He pulled away smiling at you. “No more reading those comments! I told you to stay away for a reason! Now I want to hear you say it, say that you’re beautiful.” “No Jin don’t be sil-“ He cut you off with another kiss to the back of your hand, trailing kisses up your arm. “Okay fine! I’m beautiful”. “Now was that so hard jagi?”

Yoongi

If there was one thing Yoongi loved to do it was to come home and show you how much he cared for you. The second he came back from the studio he was in bed with you, pulling you against him so your back rested against his chest. He always made sure to shower you with affections before you two went to sleep so there would never be any doubt in your mind that you were the last thing he wanted before he went to sleep every night. Yoongi would kiss the back of your head, move down to your neck. He would kiss your shoulders, your arms, your back. He made sure every bit of skin you had showing had his lips pressed against it. When he was finished with his ministrations he would wrap his arms back around you and place a final kiss softly to your ear. “I love you so much. I can’t think of any other way I would rather end my day than with you.”

Hoseok

Hoseok was taking you out for a fun date. He hadn’t told you what you were doing, he only told you it would be outside. Being it was in the middle of the summer you knew you would have to wear shorts if you didn’t want to faint from the intense heat. However you just couldn’t. You strongly disliked the way your thighs looked, not having that thigh gap that so many other people had. It was your biggest insecurity. When you walked out wearing jeans Hoseok teased you. “Honey we are going to be outside all day, it’s like 85 degrees today you can’t wear jeans or you’ll die of a heat stroke.” You frowned at him. “Can we do something else today then? I can’t wear shorts.” He approached you and grabbed your hand, “And why is that?” “I just don’t think I look good in them. My thighs-“ “Are perfect.” “What?” “Your thighs are perfect. Honey you look so good whenever you wear shorts around the house I can barely keep my hands off of you.” You smiled at him as you went to the room to change. When you came out in shorts he kneeled in front of you and placed multiple kisses on your thighs. He stared up at you lovingly, “Beautiful”.

Jimin

Jimin had been playfully teasing you all day today. He threw you over his shoulder and laid you down on the bed as he continued tickling your sides as he did earlier. When your shirt began to ride up a little bit and you noticed him staring you immediately pulled your shirt down, smile completely gone from your face. “Love, what’s wrong?” “It’s nothing Jimin. I just gained some weight recently and I don’t want you seeing my stomach.” Jimin would immediately look at you with concern on his face. “Jagi you aren’t going on any crazy diets are you?” “Of course not Jimin, I just feel a little insecure right now.” A smirk began to form on his face. “Well maybe I should show you how much I adore your cute tummy so you quit feeling that way”. He immediately lifted your shirt up and attacked your stomach with playful kisses until you were laughing again. “Better?” “Much better. I love you Jimin. Thank you.” “Of course love. Next time you feel insecure please tell me right away, and I will show you that you are the most beautiful person in the world”.

Taehyung

“Babe! I’m going to the beach with the guys today and you are coming with me! Get your swimsuit on and let’s go!”. The mention of the word swimsuit instantly had you wracking your brain for excuses not to go. “Oh I’m sorry Tae but I had plans to go see my mom today.” “Your mom is on vacation what are you talking about?” “Oh did I say my mom? I meant my brother.” “Your brother is away at college. Will you tell me what’s really going on and stop lying to me please?” You sighed heavily as you sat on the bed. “I don’t feel confident enough to go to the beach in a swimsuit Tae. I haven’t lost the weight I’ve gained over the winter and I can’t stand the idea of everyone staring at me”. “Baby, you look absolutely perfect to me don’t you know that? I didn’t even notice you gained any weight you are beautiful.” You smiled at him but it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Can we just stay home Tae, please?” “Sure, we’ll stay home, but only until I have convinced you that you are the most gorgeous human being I have ever laid eyes on.” He gently pushed you back onto the bed as he leaned over you, pulling up your shirt as he pressed multiple kisses along your waistline. “I hope you’re ready my prince(ss). Because I plan to absolutely worship your body until you see yourself as the god(dess) you really are”.

Jungkook

Jungkook always had a way of knowing when you were having a bad day. Today you had been feeling quite insecure about your looks, none of your outfits seemed to fit right and no matter how you styled your hair you just couldn’t help but think you didn’t look good enough to go out with him. You decided to call him and call off your night out. “Jungkook can we just stay home today?” “Hmm? Why baby? You have been looking forward to this date all week.” “I know Kookie but, nothing fits right and I look horrible”. “I’m coming over right now.” As he hung up the phone you paced around your room, worried about what he might say to you. When your bedroom door opened you weren’t expecting for him to shove you back onto your bed and climb over you, pressing kisses wherever he could reach. He kissed your cheeks, quietly whispering “Beautiful.” He would move down placing kisses on your neck and collar bones, “Gorgeous”. He kissed your stomach, your thighs, “stunning”. He would then press a deep kiss to your lips. When he pulled away he looked into your eyes with such intensity as he quietly spoke, “Absolutely beautiful and all mine.”

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catchlalune · 4 years

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Tape 124: Jingshen

In part 1 of my series of wips I’ll never finish is the whole reason I made this blog! I started this fic as something that I wanted all my fics on this particular blog to encapsulate. I know this isn’t the style I work in now but I really wanted to go for a style that was really more fantasy. I thought there wouldn’t be a better day to release this than on my birthday so here we go! I also really want to thank @sichengforthewinwin for the fanart she made which was so sweet and amazing! Please keep in mind it is not finished, it was about 85% done and if you’d like to know how I was going to end it feel free to message me!

Pairing: Reader x Luhan

Warnings: Angst, gore (poor kitty dies), supernatural themes\

Word count: 4k (4,042)

Luhan is it you watching this? If you’re watching this then you know that I am dead. At the time that I’m recording this I don’t know the reason why, but I know that I will die soon. You always told me that even though I was psychic and could see the future, I should live in the present. I’m trying to you know? Anyways, I wanted to record this because I’m not very good at saying that I love you and I want you to know that I love you very much - I just can’t say it. I want to; I want to so bad that it hurts, but every time I muster up the courage I get so tongue tied that I can’t let it out...but that’s not the point of this tape. I want to tell you about my feelings for you since the first day we met, is it too much? If it is you don’t need to watch it, but whether you do or don’t I figure someone should know. My therapist said this is a good way to organize my thoughts and feelings so I trust her. Right now as I start this it’s only Day 78, let’s try to make it to Day 365 okay?

Video 1:

I remember like it was yesterday because it was so cold and the thunder was raging on from the moment I woke up that morning. There was a flood warning on the TV channels and radio stations, and they advised everyone to stay in their houses. So you can imagine my surprise when I heard pounding on my door. It was so loud it startled Luna out of her sleep. You remember Luna, right? The all black cat with purple eyes. You never believed they were purple and we would always argue over the color. Anyway, when I opened the door you stood there with hair that was pink like cotton candy. I remember thinking how strange it was, why would someone want to dye their hair pink? And of all the pink colors why that pink? Then I realized that your hair was sticking to your forehead and dripping. Not just your hair but your clothing as well, a dark brown trench coat, light wash jeans with rips in them, and a white shirt underneath all drenched down to the matching brown boots you wore. I was so shocked I stepped back and you smiled sheepishly. I think you thought I wasn’t going to answer the door for you which I probably shouldn’t have. But there you were in front of me drenched but beautiful and your lips were moving before I had time to contemplate anything else.

“Are you the 精神的 ?” I remember you asking me in such a soft voice that I had to really think about it. But you continued on thinking I couldn’t understand you.

“Psychic? Are you psychic?” Your English startled me, I wasn’t used to anyone under thirty years old coming to speak to me and most of them didn’t know much English. I couldn’t do much but nod my head.

“I want to ask you a question.” You spoke to me in earnest and I had forgotten that you were drenched from head to toe and still standing out in the downpour on my doorstep.

“P-Please come in, I’ll get you a towel.” I remember stepping to the side so you could come in and I heard the squish of your socks in your boots. “I’ll bring you clothes too.” I said before walking down the hall, and all I heard in return was a quiet thank you.

After you were dried off and our bellies were full of oolong tea you decided to tell me why you had come. I had already suspected it was due to your career since there was no ring on your finger and if it was familial issues why come to a psychic who had no real backing but her word? That day you talked so long that the beat of the raindrops on my roof seemed to blend in with your soft words. Soft and gentle but not lacking in appeal, your voice is so silvery that when I first heard it and I mean really heard it I felt a warmth in my chest that sat there and bloomed as you went more in depth about your troubles. Honestly I don’t believe that you ever needed me, I think you just needed someone to talk to that would give you advice and I know you realized this halfway through our conversation when your eyes brightened but I am very glad that you came back to me. Do you remember what I said to you the first day we met? I remember the solemn expression when I said those words to you.

“In the future I see you losing someone you hold dear of unnatural causes. There will be no warning, they will simply be there and then gone like the wind.”

If only I had known.

Video 2:

The second day we met was a week after our first encounter and you came to me with the clothes you borrowed washed but smelling so much like you they made my knees weak. You had also brought Gong Bao Chicken, the smell of the roasted peanuts and the sauce made my stomach growl and you laughed at my bashful expression. Our meal was full of soft stifled giggles, shy glances, and repressed smiles. I thought you would leave after we finished but to my surprise you stayed even after the table was cleared and the tea was long gone. You must have noticed my confusion because you looked at me and smiled so brightly my heart thrummed in my chest.

“I left without thanking you the last time.” You stood so abruptly I must have looked like a deer caught in headlights. But you bowed a perfect ninety degree angle and it made me smile.

“There is no need to thank me. You came for a psychic and I did my job.” When straightening you had a slight frown on your face and I wondered what I had said that was so wrong to you.

“You did more than what I asked of you. You listened to me even though that was not in your job description and that is what I want to thank you for.” Your voice wavered and there was a light pink dusted upon your cheeks that was almost the color of your hair. I remember thinking was that all?

“There’s no need to thank me. I like helping people, even if they are strange men that bang on my door at six in the morning while a flood warning is flashing on the tv screen and they scare my cat.” It seemed Luna was listening because the moment I mentioned her she brushed up against your legs and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you laugh so hard. I wasn’t sure if it was what I said or the way Luna nuzzled into you or even the fact that the situation was a bit ridiculous.

That day you asked me so many questions about my powers, how different psychic’s could help, when you could tell if they were fake or not, did I have any ties to spirits or witches or anything magical. I remember seeing the stars in your eyes as I answered every question, you listened so much more attentively than I remember anyone ever listening to me. In the middle of my explanation about crystal balls I raised my arm to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and I saw the look in your eyes when you saw the tattooed sigil on my arm. You wanted to ask about it but I’m grateful that you decided to leave it up to me to decide if you were ready to hear the explanation or not.

Luna curled up on your lap as soon as you sat down and she was fast asleep as the sun dwindled on the horizon, it was one of the most beautiful sunsets I got to watch with you in perfect comfortable silence. The only sounds being Luna’s soft purrs, the wind chimes hanging over my doorstep, and the train in the distance. I don’t know when I closed my eyes or when I laid my head on the table or when I drifted to sleep but I awoke with the blanket I kept on the couch draped around my shoulders and Luna licking my hand.

How long had you stayed that night? Did you watch over me?

Video 3:

The next time we met there was no intention from either of us. Of course I had a strong gut feeling that I would see you that day but it wasn’t my intention. I was content with the cute but timid cotton candy haired man that covered me in a blanket and told me his life story over tea that I got to meet. It had been nearly three months and I figured you’d forgotten who I was, but that gut feeling was spot on. You ran right into me and I almost didn’t recognize you because your hair was a pretty bleached blond color, you were so frazzled I don’t think you realized it was me that you ran into. The train whistled and that was the signal to get on before you had to wait an hour for the next one. I was on my way out of Beijing and I was sure that you had just gotten off the train into Beijing but then you quickly bowed and got on my train. I didn’t want it to seem like I was following so I went in a different car but again there you were not even three seats down from me with a pretty girl on your arm. She laughed at things you said that weren’t funny and I could tell that by the look in your eyes you weren’t comfortable with her. I had to hold my contempt for her back as you looked at me and smiled as if you’d found everything that was right in the universe. You quickly switched your seat to the one next to me and the feeling of relief that you felt washed over me too.

For a while all we did was watch the trees pass by and enjoy the presence of one another, but then you dozed off on my shoulder. At first I was going to shake you awake but then I looked down at your bleached head bobbing and a warm feeling that started in my chest bloomed all over. So instead I tried to preoccupy myself with looking out the window again but as soon as I looked up I saw the woman that was flirting with you earlier staring intently at me with what I could only call envy, it felt good to know that this beautiful woman that was probably sought after by many men and women alike was looking at me like that.

It was another thirty minutes before the train stopped at our destination and I gently shook you, you woke up instantly but you were groggy and blinked up at me with the most innocent expression. What kind of grown man makes that expression to a woman he barely knows unintentionally? Were you trying to make my heart explode?

We got up and said our goodbyes on the train tracks with the pretty woman from before stuck to your side. You didn’t seem to notice her even when you turned and walked away dragging your briefcase with you. It probably wasn’t as funny as I thought it was giggling to myself and smiling so wide some people looked at me funny.

Should I be ashamed of feeling that way? I always wanted to say it was because you didn’t really want to give her the time of day and she clearly didn’t care about what you wanted unless it was her. Maybe I’m being a bit much? It’s not like me to get so worked up but I hadn’t even formally met the woman and she already was proving to be a threat to me. Not because you liked her but because she liked you and she was entitled and always got what she wanted.

How do I know?

Because I’m a psychic.

Video 27:

I'll remember this day for the rest of my life and even after. This was the day that Luna got lost, you remember that right? It was also the day my premonitions started.

It was raining almost as hard as the day we first met-all our really important dates seem to be on rainy days, I wonder if we were ever to get married if it would also rain-and I was frantic. You almost hit me with your car, you got out to yell not even realizing it was me because this time I was drenched in nothing but my house clothes with no shoes or even a jacket over my shoulders. I was about two blocks away from my house on a quiet side street and if I had mind to I would've wondered why you drove your car down it. When you got out the car you looked at me through the pelting rain and instantly pulled me into a hug..

You were so warm and I felt so small in your arms. I remember you taking your trench coat off and putting it around me as if it could shelter me from the rain that was already seeping into my clothes and skin. You took me by surprise when you picked me up and sat me in the passenger seat of your car. You laid a warm kiss on my forehead and I was confused because you seemed so timid to me all other times I didn't think you really cared about my well being, or you did but just in a friendly sort of way. It was a short drive to my house not even three minutes long, you carried me inside sat me down in my bathroom and drew me a bath with ginger salts all without so much as a word. I don't remember when I started crying, if it was when I was out in the rain, when you embraced me, when you sat me in the car or even when you helped me into the bath. I was grateful for your gentleness and chastity as you turned when I started to shed my clothing.

If it weren't for the strange but cute man with the pink hair which was bleach blond but now brown that shared his story with me whom I came to care deeply about I don't know where I would be or if I would even be alive right now. I wish I could thank you everyday for the bath and the heated towels and the warm tea that you made. Or for the company and compassion you showed as I cried on your shoulder with a hand clutched to my chest. You didn't show any pity or disgust but sympathy and I swear it was the tenderness with which you tucked me into my bed and promised me that you always be there for me that I swore I would love you until my last breath. I swore to myself that I would love you and hold you dear to my heart until my dying day. And I have not for a second had a thought of breaking this promise to myself.

That night I had a dream that I was doing a math problem and when I finally finished the answer was a picture of Luna with x’s over her eyes and throat. When I awoke kicking and screaming and crying you didn’t seem the least bit surprised, you simply held me and again let me soak your shirt with tears. You started to sing to me some time after that and it was so beautiful. Your voice soothed my pain with every last intonation. I was in and out of consciousness the entire night and every single time I awoke you were there to offer solace and wipe at my tears with your thumbs. The next morning I awoke to the scent of ginger tea and bāozi. Padding into the kitchen I could tell by the way they looked that the steamed buns were stuffed with something sweet. I thanked you as you handed me a cup of hot tea and pulled a chair out for me to sit in just so you could push it in for me. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you about all the nightmares I had but I knew that you knew and I suppose I was okay with that.

Video 38:

The day that Luna returned to us was dark and gloomy as most days we met and the clouds were swollen with water that they were more than willing to shed. You’d spent every night with me since Luna got lost and I was just starting to get over the pain of losing my best friend. There was a strong wind and it made my wind chimes rattle against the door, it was so forceful that you thought someone was knocking adamantly so you went to answer it. I will never forget the look that was a mixture of fear, anguish, and confusion when you turned to look back at me with a box no larger than one made for shoes that was stained black and you had the black substance all over your hands and you quickly flung the box away from your body to slam the door shut so hard the walls shook and some of my talismans fell.

I stood up to cross the room despite your many protests because you looked so much like a deer caught in headlights and I wanted so badly to understand and ease the pain. Little did I know that the black substance on you wasn’t really black but was a deep red, looking at you with your hands covered in it made my heart leap into my throat. I knew opening the door despite your protests would only bring me immense pain but I knew it was Luna and I knew I needed to face this. I was not ready for what I saw.

The box was soaked in blood and Luna’s corpse was in a heap exposed from the force with which you flung it away. There was so much blood and I know I screamed and you tried to pull me back into my house, back into your arms for shelter but I felt the stickiness of her blood on your hands as you grabbed my arms and I panicked. Who would do such a thing? I remembered thinking over and over again as I hit the ground and foolishly crawled to her. I wanted to pick her up but there were maggots all over her and I choked at the smell. You again tried to pull me into your arms but I pushed at you so you sat next to me and let me sob on my porch in the middle of the day with the rain pouring down on us. It was so hard and thick it came down like a white sheet and I couldn’t see anything else in front of me except for Luna. It seemed this was my punishment for something I did in a past life because all I could do was stare at her as the maggots wormed their way through her once thick and shiny black fur that was now thin and greyish as well as the hole in her neck. Someone had intentionally stolen my cat and returned her to me dead and decaying.

Video 52;

This was the day we had our first official date, do you remember? Well I suppose it wasn’t really official because when I got to the fancy restaurant there you stood with that pretty woman on your arm wearing a dazzling red dress that made me feel so boring in my blue one with matching suede shoes, she even curled her hair loosely and drew on pretty eyeliner to enhance her monolids and cherry red lip gloss- not lipstick- to bring out the paleness of her face; but it still made me feel giddy and my heart soared because I felt as if we became distant lately.

In reality it seemed as though I was third wheeling as you and the woman whose name was Sunei pronounced as Sunny but spelt S-u-n-e-i she made this very clear to everyone especially our poor waitress. The two of you laughed and chatted while I sipped on my glass of water with shaking hands and smiled sheepishly. The countless times our waitress came to our table she always gave me a sympathetic look as if I were the one being wronged and I suppose in a way I was. I guess she could see from wherever she was that my feet and legs were constantly being kicked and stomped on by Sunei, the one time you got up to use the bathroom she looked like she was about to reach across the table and smack me. I’m sure the defiant look in my eyes was enough to make her do so but there the waitress was again, she stayed and spoke to me until you came back and then she flitted away. Thinking back on it I wish I kept in touch with her, she was so gracious to me that night.

I was surprised when you sat down and started asking me questions, I was okay with little to no attention but when you turned your eyes to me it felt like every single prying eye in the restaurant was on me and it made my palms a bit sweaty.

“...I think it looks nice! Personally it's one of my favorite paintings a client of ours has ever submitted. What do you think? We aren't supposed to share these things until the gallery is open but I think you'll appreciate it.” You turned your phone to me and I swear my heart stopped beating when I first laid eyes on that magnificent painting. I was speechless at how someone could make something so elaborate yet abstract, so beautiful but so terribly sad.

“Why would you show it to them Luhan ?! You'd risk your job and for wh-”

“I think that's quite enough Ms. Xiu. And that's Mr. Xiao to you we're business partners yes, but not much more than that.” Sunei drew back and I almost felt bad for her.

The rest of dinner was quiet and rather stifling if you ask me but you graciously paid for all of us and you opened the car door for me asking me to wait, that it would only be a moment.

***

“Do you love me?” you whispered it upon my lips on my doorstep after a very long night. Never before had I been uncomfortable under your gaze but there you were looking at me intently and I felt as though I was being stripped naked and pinned on a bulletin board for everyone to see. It was hot and my skin itched but not the kind that scratching would get rid of. My throat closed and I wanted to leave, I wanted to get up and flee. But where to? I had nowhere to go if it wasn't with you. And then you smiled at me , a real genuine smile and I felt the entire world crashing on my shoulders.

“It's okay, you don't need to answer.”

It wasn't really ok though.

That night I had a dream of you and I. We were on a vacation on some desolate island and we took a walk. We hadn’t exchanged any words but we walked along the path you leading the way and I followed quickly behind defeated like a dog with it’s tail tucked between its legs.

#luhan scenarios #luhan imagine #luhan angst #cpop scenarios #cpop imagines #cpop angst #tw: gore

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petty-revenge-stories · 5 years

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Snowmiser shared an apartment with Heatmiser in college and got her revenge come spring...

(All temps are in Fahrenheit)

I grew up in a poorer household, which meant that we never really could afford to turn up the heat that high in the winter. (We live in New England, so it gets cold.) Therefore, I adjusted to just piling up with blankets and to be honest, I don’t mind the cold all that much. You can bundle up vs. in the summer, there’s only so much you can do to get cool. (I can’t walk to the 7-11 in my bra and panties. Well, perhaps I could, but it’d draw up a scene.)

Anyway, a couple years back, I was living in a college apartment with three other girls. Two were super nice, one was a bit stuck up. We’ll call her Heatmiser. She was from one of the richer towns in my state and clearly thought she was better than all of us. One thing she made clear was that she hated when it was cold, hated it. That winter, she’d turn up the heat to 80 or 90 degrees. Luckily, utilities were included since our apartment was technically a dorm, but it was just too high. I’d turn it down, try talking to her, put up reminders above it, etc. but nothing worked. I didn’t want to go to an RA because I figured she’d tell them what they wanted to hear and go back to it. It bugged the rest of my roommates too, but my bed was the one right under the vent, so it affected me the most. It even made me sick for most of February.

I told myself, we’ll get through the winter. After all, it is cold out and snowing a lot. Maybe I’m just being a bitch. Right? It’ll get better come spring.

Spring rolls around and it’s getting hot. I turn on the AC, not too high, just enough to be comfortable. Heatmiser always complained that she was sooo cold, when she was the only one who was, so we all ignored her. After all, she made us uncomfortable or months. She can put on a sweater or something.

I wake up in the middle of the night a few weeks in and it is unbearably hot, but it shouldn’t be. The weather was actually nice and it gets cooler at night. I go into the living room where the thermostat is…and Heatmiser had turned it up to 85 degrees.

In the spring.

I was livid. I turned it down and went back to my room. My other roommate who was up asked what was wrong and I told her. She got mad and said “I’m gonna talk to her.” I told her not to, I’d sort it out.

The school is a state school, so mostly everyone went home, including most of my roommates. All except Heatmiser. She worked locally. One day, I knew she would be working late. My other two roommates left and before I did as well to enjoy my weekend, I turned the AC down to 50. It would be nice and cool for Heatmiser when she came home.

There was only a month left in the semester, but she didn’t touch that thing again. Saw her wearing more sweatshirts after that.

(source) story by (/u/AnonymousUser2938492)

#pettyrevenge #by /u/AnonymousUser2938492 #petty revenge #revenge story #petty revenge stories #revenge st #last10

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justanotherboyinblue · 4 years

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weird asks that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? coffee mugs! it gives me a weird satisfaction

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? chocolate bars!!

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? not a big fan of either :/

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? well i’m homeschooled so that’d be my mother the gist of it was that i don’t focus well and get distracted easily

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? oh bottles for sure cannot tell you why but the old fashioned glass bottles of like pepsi or something? Love Those

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? grunge i love it has the ‘i don’t care’ attitude basically just oversized stuff and a whole bunch of flannels

7. earbuds or headphones? headphones obviously, i’m a gamer what did you think i was gonna say

8. movies or tv shows? i tend to like movies better, but i do love myself a good tv show i think the pinnacle of tv shows done right is person of interest five seasons, i never got bored, it didn’t drag on, and it was always a good watch with good character chemistry

9. favorite smell in the summer? hmm either chlorine or beach smell because both mean i’m in the water And Ya Boi Is A Water Bitch

10. game you were best at in p.e.? i’ve never had p.e. and i think that’s my favorite thing about homeschooling

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? i normally don’t, because i wake up 11:30-noon because i was up at 3am and i need my eight hours of sleep

12. name of your favorite playlist? some fucken bOPS

13. lanyard or keyring? i’d think key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? uhhhhh literally all my favorite sweets are chocolate fuck probably cow tails

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? they all sucked and i rarely read any of them so

16. most comfortable position to sit in? either sitting on my ankle or having both legs hanging over the edge

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? do flip flops count?

18. ideal weather? like, 75-80 degrees with a cool breeze or alternatively 5-10 degrees with Piles Of Snow Everywhere

19. sleeping position? usually on my left side, or my stomach

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a notebook, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? i love writing on anything i can get my hands on, most times it’s a notebook i tend to always carry pen and paper with me because i Will Not Remember Anything

21. obsession from childhood? you know how people have like, a timeline in their head of their entire life? i did this when i was this age, etc.? yeah i don’t have that my memories are in a big pile in my head and i have to use like things around me to find out a general age it’s wild so i have no idea coloring? minecraft?

22. role model? any kind person ever

23. strange habits? i only shower at night, and once i get in my room and change into my pajamas i have No intention of leaving so i just brush my teeth in the shower

24. favorite crystal? amethyst? quartz? garnet? idk onlytherealonesknow

25. first song you remember hearing? it was a song that my mother used to sing to my brother and i at night when we were in bed, did you ever talk to God i’ve never been able to find it anywhere, but i love it and it has the Best Vibes attached to it

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? S w i m

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? cuddle obviously

28. five songs to describe you? uhh dear younger me- mercyme (Christian) the cult of Dionysus- the Orion experience lucky stars- Lucy Spraggan escapism- steven universe? maybe? sunkissed- Khai dreams???? bro i got no idea

29. best way to bond with you? over shared experiences, or a shared love of something just best way to bond? by relating

30. places that you find sacred? not sure old buildings, sites of historical importance, places marred by tragedy

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? oh boy here we go my tightest pants, obviously, my heels, and my slutty shirt or my comfy clothes i can kick ass in anything

32. top five favorite vines? i am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand. Posiden quivers before him! fuck off!! *BAM* this is why mom doesn’t fUCKING love you!!! please let this be a normal field trip. with Miss Frizzle?? un-fucking-likely Jeremy eat a snickers. why? you��re not you when you’re hungry. it’s gonna take more than that for my fatass meanwhile, in 1957. your honor, permission to treat the witness as hostile. permission granted. i’m gonna shoot you in the face. that’ll ruin my day

33. most used phrase in your phone? i have no phone but i do say valid a lot because All You Fuckers Are Valid

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? michigan plumminggggg, we’ll exceed your expectaaationsssss

35. average time you fall asleep? three am

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

37. suitcase or duffel bag? backpack

38. lemonade or tea? lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? idk the cat pissed on my brother’s papers once

41. last person you texted? moje rojenia

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Hoodie Pouch

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? hoodie, obviously

44. favorite scent for soap? Manly Smell

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? mmmmmm sci-fi

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? long sleeve tee, plaid pajama pants

47. favorite type of cheese? Mozzarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? pineapple i’ll eat you out ;)

49. what saying or quote do you live by? if someone makes you happy make them happier

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? my mother made the weirdest fucking sound once, and i couldn’t breathe and fell off the chair

51. current stresses? school, driver’s training, some other stuff

52. favorite font? Kristen ITC

53. what is the current state of your hands? ????? clean?? i have a ring on my right middle finger, some scars on both hands, my nails are short

54. what did you learn from your first job? haven’t had a job yet

55. favorite fairy tale? any of the old Grimm’s fairy tales they terrified me when i was young, but then i got a taste for the disturbed and gore so they became perfect for me

56. favorite tradition? my family doesn’t really have any traditions

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? gaining confidence to not be a complete pushover, quitting self-harm, realizing my first relationship wasn’t my fault

58. four talents you’re proud of having? i don’t have four talents i can color really well? i can copy drawings if i look at them long enough

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Fuck

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? something along the lines of kabaneri of the iron fortress or my hero academia

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? give me something to keep and hold onto forever. let go

62. seven characters you relate to? uggggggggh bro my personality changes every hour i don’t know Sam, from supernatural uh, Klaus? from the originals .... yeah that’s all i got

63. five songs that would play in your club? dangerous- left boy adderall- Max Frost sweet tooth- Scott Helman binary mind- ra ra riot while i’m alive- STRFKR

64. favorite website from your childhood? club penguin and jumpstart

65. any permanent scars? tons

66. favorite flower(s)? coral dahlias and bellflowers

67. good luck charms? nope!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? quinoa, mustard, and root beer

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? without saliva your stomach would digest itself

70. left or right-handed? right

71. least favorite pattern? whatever the fuck this one is

72. worst subject? math

73. favorite weird flavor combo? ranch and any kind of roast

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? probably like a 7

75. when did you lose your first tooth? neither i nor my mother remember

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Mashed Potatoes Always

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? strawberries!! they’re yummy and have beautiful flowers

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? both are gross no thank you

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? well since i don’t have my license yet, i’d have to say my license

80. earth tones or jewel tones? earth tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? they’re literally the same thing are you asking which one i say? if so, lightning bugs

82. pc or console? both! i prefer pc but a lot of my favorite games are on console and i don’t have a gaming computer

83. writing or drawing? i’m better at writing, but i love both!

84. podcasts or talk radio? not a huge fan of either

84. barbie or polly pocket? i never had or liked either

85. fairy tales or mythology? faerie* tales and mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes? cookies!!!

87. your greatest fear? being abandoned ig

88. your greatest wish? to live an apple pie life i suppose my partners and i living in a house we love, in a town we love, with all of our fur babies

89. who would you put before everyone else? the young if i was in a room full of people, relatives, friends, elders, i would always save the youngest

90. luckiest mistake? posting my diary on ao3 XD i met my darling Leo through it

91. boxes or bags? f....for??? bags are easier to carry, but boxes are just Nice ..... see this is why i think i’m a cat

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? i love sunlight and fairy lights

93. nicknames? Q that’s that’s basically it

94. favorite season? fall

95. favorite app on your phone? duolingo or pixel.y 3D

96. desktop background? school computer:

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? just my mother’s

98. favorite historical era? anything Ancient greek, egyptian, incan, aztec, that kinda stuff

#tw cursing #tw self-harm #long post #tw eye strain #probably gonna crank out a few of these today because i'm Bored #meet the blogger

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kianraidelcam · 5 years

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Yet another Connor whump with some Nines for hurt/comfort from @cownnor! I hope ya’ll enjoy! Full fic under the cut for those who prefer not to use Ao3! The prompt was basically Connor suffers from android hypothermia and Nines comes to save him.

Connor did not particularly enjoy the winter.

In fact, most androids did not. It was not the cold that bothered them; the conditions had to be extreme for even the hint of a shiver to appear. For most, it was the memories associated with the season. Memories of blue blood spilt in snowy streets, of freezing water during attempted border crossings, of cold-induced shutdowns after prolonged exposure to Detroit’s icy elements. For the deviant RK800, it was a loss of self control in the midst of a swirling blizzard with the damning words of a mentor freezing his bicomponents more than ice ever could.

It didn’t help that the winter holidays often put Lieutenant Anderson in a depressed state despite Connor’s best efforts.

So yes, Connor very much disliked winter. And he despised the situation he was in even more.

{WARNING: INTERNAL TEMPERATURE >91͐°}

{PLEASE SEEK A WARMER ENVIRONMENT}

Connor snorts softly to himself. Yes, he knew he was cold, making the warning itself redundant. And he couldn’t exactly seek a warmer environment at the moment with his legs damaged from the freezing water he had subjected them to in his attempt to stop the dangerous android suspect from crossing the river to the Canadian border. In hindsight, jumping into the water after the boat hadn’t been his brightest idea, considering there was only a 12% of success and the fact that the water was 28 ° F. Hank would call the move reckless, but since the Lieutenant didn’t seem to want to answer his phone, Connor supposed he would have to settle for finding out what his brother would call it.

{RK900: Well, it would seem your plan for catching our suspect was injudicious.}

{RK800: If I say please, would you stop berating me and come help?}

{RK900: And now, we have to involve federal agents to catch him.}

{RK800: Nines, I am very cold.}

{RK900: I am already en route to your location. What is your current temperature?}

Connor’s eyes blink rapidly while he performs the diagnostic as he begins to shiver, his systems attempting to warm his body in a very human manner.

{COMMAND ACKNOWLEDGED: RUN DIAGNOSTIC}

{WARNING: INTERNAL TEMPERATURE >90°}

{BIOCOMPONENTS #8427g, #8429b DAMAGED}

{PROBABILITY OF REQUIRING REPAIRS: 89%}

{ALL SYSTEMS FUNCTIONAL AT 70%}

{PROBABILITY OF PERMANENT SYSTEM DAMAGE: 20%}

{END DIAGNOSTIC}

{RK800: My internal temperature is currently at 90° although my legs were damaged by the cold water and require repairs.}

{RK900: I am about 32 minutes from your approximate location.}

He frowns at Nines’ estimated time as he watches his temperature drop another degree. Above him, the darkened sky releases a single snowflake, and Connor watches it fall to the ground in front of him. Currently seated with his back pressed against an evergreen tree (a Scotch Pine, his database cheerfully informs him), he felt confident the cover its needles provided would protect him from the worst of the snowfall. However, it did nothing to prevent the windchill sweeping through his jacket and chilling his chassis even further, or to stop the temperature outside fall from ten degrees to five as the night progressed.

{RK800: Turn on your sirens.}

There is a second of hesitation from Nines, something that worries Connor even more than the notification telling him to seek shelter from the elements.

{RK900: You already know I did, Con.}

Ah well, that was to be expected. While no shutdown timer had appeared in his vision, the detective android knew that 32 minutes would be cutting it close, and at the very least, he was more than likely to suffer from permanent systems damage. He sighed; Hank was going to be very upset.

{RK900: Don’t think like that Connor. He’ll just be relieved that you’ll be alright.}

Shit. He didn’t realize he had transmitted that thought to Nines. Belatedly, he realizes that his temperature had dropped yet another degree; the combination of the water freezing on his soaked jeans and the wind quickly leeching heat from his plastic and metal body starting to take its toll. His shivering intensifies as he starts to grasp the severity of his situation. An android’s body temperature was typically around 95 degrees, just warm enough to mimic a human’s but just cold enough to show up differently on a thermal scan. Damaged occured to their body when their temperature reached 90 degrees, although various failsafes helped to prevent such a drastic fall in temperature, ensuring androids could work in extreme conditions with few breaks. However, outside forces could cause them to fail, and Connor’s situation was a combination of those forces.

{RK900: Talk to me, Connor. What’s your systems status?}

{RK800: I’m okay.}

Connor could practically see the eye roll that only he seemed capable of causing. He smiled, pleased by the revelation. Determined to assuage the younger android’s concern, however, he quickly adds on to his statement before Nines can respond.

{RK800: All systems are still fully functional. I’ll make it. I think I’ll take some warmed thirium when we get home, however. You get to make it this time.}

{RK900: I’ll just command Sumo to pin you to your bed.}

He frowns at the static starting to lace his brother’s words, confused by the sudden change.

{RK800: Why is your voice going static, Nines? Are you damaged?}

The internal clock resting in the corner of his vision informs him that the following pause lasts for ten seconds, although it barely seemed like one had passed.

{RK900: I am quite well, Con. Talk to me about your surroundings. Can you tell me what you see?}

It takes his body a full two seconds to respond to his commands, something he cannot bring himself to be properly concerned about, and swivels his head to take in his surroundings. The snow had since intensified, muting the water’s noisily lapping edge and dimming the world into a grayscale. Next to him, he can see a small, wooden boat dock, slowly rotting away after spending years subjected to the Detroit River and its currents. He focuses on the ice forming a slick sheath on the support beams, watches as the water splashing onto it thickens the casing.

{RK800: I’m watching ice form on the boat dock near me. It’s quite fascinating to watch. And there’s-}

{WARNING: TEMPERATURE >86°}

{SEEK WARMER ENVIRONMENT BEFORE TEMPORARY SHUTDOWN}

{EMERGENCY TEMPORARY SHUTDOWN INITIATED IN 1:45}

{EMERGENCY TEMPORARY SHUTDOWN INITIATED IN 1:44}

{DISMISS NOTIFICATION (Y/N)?}

{NOTIFICATION DISMISSED}

Connor blinks away the notification as his LED transitions to red, the slight light casting a sullen glow on his right side. It was alright, someone was coming and they would get him someplace warm. He’d be fine. More than anything, though, he just wanted to close his eyes and fall into stasis while he waited. He assumed this is what humans called exhaustion; the heavy weight pulling down his eyelids, tilting his chin toward his chest, the cold finally fading away from his hands. He couldn’t wait to tell Markus about the new feeling, this sense of exhaustion. He is jolted from his musing and the pleasant sensation of warmth returning to his hands by the static sounding in his ears, growing more and more insistent.

{RK900: -nor! I need you to focus on me right now! Can you hear me?}

{RK800: Your voice is still staticy, Nines. Are you sure you aren’t damaged? Do you need my assistance?}

{RK900: I’m almost to you now, I need you to stay focused, do you understand? Tell me more about the ice on the dock, okay?}

{RK800: I’m tired, Nines. I didn’t know I could feel tired. I have to tell Markus about this.}

{RK900: Tell me about the dock, Connor. What color is it? What kind of wood is it made out of?}

{RK800: I’m ready to go into stasis. Would you make sure to refill Sumo’s dish? I’m sure Hank forgot to do so this morning.}

{EMERGENCY TEMPORARY SHUTDOWN INITIALIZED IN 5}

{RK900: No Connor, don’t do that yet please. Wait until I’m with you.}

{4}

{3}

{2}

{RK900: Connor, please answer me.}

{1}

{CONNECTION WITH RK900: END}

{EMERGENCY TEMPORARY SHUTDOWN INITIALIZED}

{GOODNIGHT RK800 #313 248 317 - 51}

The moment Connor disconnected, Nines slammed his foot onto the gas, doubling his speed despite the car’s protests and notifications informing him of the law he is currently in violation of. He was still five minutes away from the freezing android, and he was determined to get to him in two. The speedometer’s needle climbs upwards steadily as the snow continues to fall with increasing gusto. Despite the worsening conditions, Nines guides the car skillfully off the road, driving toward the river where he knows Connor is waiting for him.

He makes it in three minutes.

The RK900 exits the car and slams the door closed in one graceful motion, already diverting power to his legs as he rushes to toward the boat dock Connor described. His head on a swivel, he scans the area for his older brother and quickly finds him leaning against a tree, head dropped and eyes closed. The crimson LED swirls lazily in his temple, occasionally blinking to indicate his system’s distress. Before Nines is fully aware that he is moving, he is already in kneeling in front of the unresponsive prototype, hands cupping the cold synthetic skin on his face. The sensors located in his fingertips register a temperature of 85 degrees, five degrees colder than it should ever be. “Connor, can you hear me?”

No response.

Nines presses his index and middle finger to Connor’s LED, attempting to run a diagnostic.

{DIAGNOSTIC COMMENCING…}

{ALL SYSTEMS TEMPORARILY OFFLINE}

{INTERNAL TEMPERATURE 85.2°}

{EMERGENCY TEMPORARY SHUTDOWN INITIATED}

{BIOCOMPONENTS #8427g, #8429b DAMAGED}

{BIOCOMPONENTS #8427g, #8429b REPAIRS REQUIRED}

{TIME UNTIL FULL SHUTDOWN: 1:05:12}

{END DIAGNOSTIC}

Good. He had an hour left until full shutdown. He could easily get Connor warmed and online by then. He lifts the RK800 bridal style and rushes him to the warmth of his patrol car, radioing the precinct to update them on the case and Connor’s condition as he calculates the distance between his location and New Jericho. Taking off his own jacket and laying it over Connor’s still form, he furrows his brows at the estimate.

{ESTIMATED TIME OF ARRIVAL: 45:12}

No, that simply would not do at all. Sliding into the driver’s seat, he calculates the distance to Lieutenant Anderson’s home. The repairs could wait, as neither biocomponent was vital to Connor’s function. While he would certainly be nonplussed by his inability to use his legs until such a time that repairs could be performed, he could live with it.

{ESTIMATED TIME OF ARRIVAL: 15:19}

Much better. His speed is much slower than it was during his rush to arrive, although he keeps checking the rearview mirror to reassure himself that Connor’s LED has not gone dark as he periodically scans his brother. He attempts to contact the Lieutenant cybernetically to inform him of their wayward charge’s plight, holding back a sigh of frustration when there is no answer. Great, he would be surprised then.

Fantastic.

Pulling into the drive, he holds down the horn for fourteen seconds before exiting his vehicle to pull Connor into his arms again. He is mildly pleased when he notes Connor’s temperature at 88 degrees, his advanced systems slowly coming online to work into overdrive to revive their owner. He kicks open the door, ignoring Hank’s curses (although he did just add two new words to his vocabulary to use with Detective Reed), opting to deposit Connor onto the couch.

“What the fuck happened to him now?” Hank’s voice is concerned, although Nines social integration software informs him that the facial expression would be defined as exasperated. Humans were constantly full of contradictions, Nines muses.

“If you would have answered your phone, you would have seen that both Connor and I contacted you, attempting to update you of his situation,” Nines performs a scan of the human, fixing him with a steely glare as he drapes the blanket over Connor, “It would appear your blood alcohol levels are elevated. May I inquire as to the reason why?”

Hank moves from his position, coming to drape his hand over Connor’s forehead, his frown deepening as he feels the cold skin. Nines prepares himself for Hank’s combativeness when the detective surprises him yet again. “I’ll go let Sumo in, maybe the old lug can help warm him up. Then we’ll talk, okay kid?”

Nines nods sharply, turning his blue-eyed gaze back onto his slowly recovering brother. He kneels in front of the couch and rests two fingers on his LED to perform another diagnostic.

{DIAGNOSTIC COMMENCING…}

{SYSTEMS OPERATING AT 42%}

{INTERNAL TEMPERATURE 90°}

{EMERGENCY TEMPORARY SHUTDOWN INITIATED}

{BIOCOMPONENTS #8427g, #8429b DAMAGED}

{BIOCOMPONENTS #8427g, #8429b REPAIRS REQUIRED}

{TIME UNTIL FULL REBOOT: 5:49}

{END DIAGNOSTIC}

As Nines moves his hand away from Connor’s head, the android’s LED switches from red to yellow and it begins to spin faster. The previously still figure begins to shiver again as Hank returns, patting Connor’s leg to urge the Saint Bernard on lay down top of him. “So, you wanna tell me what happened?” Hank settles into the recliner, blue eyes tired and slightly red.

“He was attempting to stop the suspect from the Schimel murder case when the deviant jumped into a boat to cross the border. Connor attempted to continue the chase and opted to jump into the river despite a low chance of success. As a result, his systems froze and the cold negatively affected his processors. He’s warming up now, though I’ll need to take him to New Jericho for repairs to both of his legs,” Nines retracts the skin from his palm, reaching out to take Connor’s quaking arm, “Why didn’t you answer your phone, Lieutenant? He tried calling you and you could have gotten there faster.”

Nines frowns as the connection request is blocked and he removes his hand, watching as Connor turns his head, hiding the LED from sight. Hank sighs, the grizzled detective looking far older than his years as his eyes grow distant. “I musta forgotten to take it off the charger in my room. I’m sorry, kiddo, it’s just been a rough day. It’s winter and, well…” he gestures vaguely, “I’ve got some shitty memories is all.”

“Connor does too, you know,” Nines voice is less monotone now, although the annoyance is still present in the glance he sends the Lieutenant's way.

At the mention of his name, Connor’s head jerks back as he mumbles incoherently.

“Connor? Can you hear me?” Nines attempts to interface again, as Hank abruptly stands.

“...Mmmm-annda,” his voice is distorted, glitching with static as his voice slowly comes online, “c-c-c-c-old. Don’t.”

“I know you’re cold, Con, don’t worry. We’re gonna warm you up,” Hank rubs small circles on Connor’s temples, watching as the deviant relaxes and allows his head to sink back into the couch.

“Amanda is gone, I’m here,” Nines prods at Connor’s block, interfacing with him again for a more accurate systems diagnostic.

“Is it his preconstruction software again?” Hank is staring at the skin retracting from Nines touch, exposing the white plastisteel of Connor’s arm with a gentle, blue glow.

Nines shakes his head as he sends waves of comfort toward Connor, feelings of warmth and admiration at the forefront to combat the memories of apathy and blizzards inside of the zen garden. The shivering android’s stress levels lower immediately, although they don’t disappear entirely. “No, his systems are just manually rebooting one by one, and a few are glitching. I suspect he is also suffering from negative mental feedback due to memories he has associated with the cold. I’m attempting to ease the strain off his systems.”

“In English, please?”

“He has PTSD and is suffering from the effects of hypothermia. I’m taking in some of his discomfort so he doesn’t stress out and interrupt the reboot sequence.”

“N-n-niines...why is Hank’s voice sta-sta-staticy? He isn’t an ann-drrrrroid,” Brown irises slowly reappear, his half-lidded gaze finding Sumo to bring a smile to his face.

“It would appear his auditory units and voice module are glitching as well, Lieutenant.”

Hank smiles softly and moves to kneel besides Nines, turning Connor’s chin so he is looking at him, “Welcome back to the land of the living, son. Stop being a reckless asshole, got it?”

“G-g-g-g-g-g,” Connor blinks as his shivering slows, “G-got it.”

{RK900: I’m sure you mean that.}

Connor ignores Nines although a rush of gratitude assures Nines that he is appreciative. “Hiiii Suuuuuuuumo,” the deviant RK800 moves an uncoordinated hand to scratch the dog’s head, “I miiiissed you today, Haaaankkk.”

“Fucking dopey ass androids, gonna be the death of me.”

Connor’s eyes open fully as he takes in the Lieutenant's appearance. “Are are are you okay, Lieutenant?”

Nines stays quiet, his LED yellow as he assists Connor with the glitches in his systems. “It makes sense that you’d still be able to pronounce my fucking title.”

“I-I-I-I can’t scan youuu, Lieutenant, but but I suspect you’vve been drinking,” Connor winces as a feedback loops jerks his head backwards again, “Does it have toooo do with wiiiinnnnnnnter?”

“I’m more worried about you, Connor. Don’t worry about me.”

“It’ssssss my joo-oob as your paaartner, Haaaaannnnnnkkkkkkkkkk.”

Hank rolls his eyes but he decides to respond to Connor’s question, “Yeah, it does. Just a shitty time of the year for me.”

Connor nods, blinking rapidly as his LED momentarily blinks to red then back to yellow, “Meeeee toooooooo. But-but-but we’ll get throoouuuuuuugh it togetheerrrrr. Juust like a faaamilyyyyy. Riiiight, Nines?”

Nines smiles as he tears through a piece of malicious code, corrupted by the temporary shutdown, “Yeah, Con. Just like a family,” Nines meets Hank’s eyes and smiles, “Family.”

#DBH #detroit become human #dbh connor #connor whump #connor rk800 #rk800 #rk900 #rk900 nines #hank anderson #hurt/comfort #dbh fanfic #dbh fanfiction #my writing #AO3 update #hypothermia #referenced alcohol abuse

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