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abyssal-cryptid · 1 year

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Still more thoughts about Tears of the Kingdom (SPOILERS! like seriously. in this one)

I love this game

So much

I had to find a guy for a quest but was like

"Im going to check out this well first"

AND BOOM HE WAS THERE

Alao the brown breakable rock break with one hit, blue with two and black with three

Seemingly

Matches the bombs it takes to break them

Tulin, whose village is dying, watching me search for pretty clothing

"Link please my family is dying Link we have to go Link"

The frostbite set is stunning

Finally a hairdo that lets Link have long hair

I hate the Sages

Not really but my god did they make their AI absolute trash

Theyre always in the way except when you need them to solve a puzzle

And if you have more than one Avatar present good luck getting the one you need

I HATE THE WIND TEMPLE BOSS

Not as much as I hated Queen Gibdo but

Why was crossing a spider and scorpion necessary

"Brave Fledgling" what if I cried

Tulin is so good

So is this making it canon that the time 10 000 years ago was still after every other game

I dont know the timeline is weird

But if there was both Zora and Rito at the time of Rauru

This is so confusing

Ive both heard and seen Rauru sacrifice himself multiple times now can these dead Sages give me new info

Zelda my beloved

Marry me please

Also so the only other Demon King we have ever had was Demise so is Ganondorf him or after him

WHAT IS THE TIMELINE HERE

The Sage calls Tulin "my brave fledgling"

Someone call me something so loving one day

Tulin is so excited to be a Sage

He is so happy to fight alongside Link

Hes so happy to save the world

I love him

What a boy

Boys will be boys is from now on only about Tulin

WAIT IS EVEN HE TALLER THAN LINK

Shortest Hylian

I got a third ring

Bring a gerudo bow to this boss fight if you can it makes life so much easier

I havent been to Death Mountain at all yet

Done all other Temples and fully mapped Hyrule before ever going near Gorons

The extra snow melted

TEBA GAVE TULIN THE GREAT EAGLE BOW

IM CRYING

REVALI IM SO PROUD OF OUR BOY *shakes the ghost of Revali*

PSSHHH YUNOBO LOOKS DUMB AS SHIT

I HATE HIM

Was already my least favorite in BOTW

But now he is a major asshole too

Fuck that

Bastard

Im not helping him

Im gonna go blow up his company

If this guy becomes a Sage I swear

I'll drown him in Death Mountain myself

The ember headdress is probably the best headpiece in the entire game

The Ember set is genuinely the best set

Its so pretty

Im gonna go see what these look like dyed

After that beating up Yunobo

But fashion comes first

IF YOU DYE THE EMBER HEADSET IT DYES LINKS HAIR

BLUE HAIR LINK

PINK HAIR LINK

BEST DAY EVER

THE SAME GOES FOR THE FROST OUTFIT

I love Cece

She is the only person matching my love of fashion in this game

I just realised why the evil Zelda is wearing Zonai clothes

Omg

Smart

Or maybe Im dumb

"Oh Yunobo was wearing a mask making him evil" no Yunobo is just like that

This sucks I hate everything to do with Death Mountain

Worst place

I have to use the machines AND GO TO THE DEPTHS??? NOOO

Nintendo you will be hearing from my lawyers

When I die Im going to ask Rauru wtf were the Zonai doing in the depths

No because if youre going to have a cutscene and then make a second cutscene three steps further just fucking make it one cutscene

Yunobo is a "young little rock"

Left that for now

Found Champions leathers

Found Royal Guard boots??

They were in the king's study

King's diary wasnt there so like is it canon Zelda was able to read it?

Misko was a good guy actually, hiding all these clothes for me

Me, in the depths: I wonder where this strange Sheikah tower leads

The Yiga hideout in Akkala:

The only ancient sheikah tech still working is Hateno Tech Lab travel point

I spent some time in the depths and FOUND THE ANCIENT CENTRAL MINE

Fought Kohga

GOT AUTOBUILD

Finally the shrine censor

And travel medallion? You treat me so well

Already had that prototype

ALSO GETTIN SENSOR+ IMMEDIATLY

Badass feeling

Omg Robbie's compendium database is so cute

Got all three upgrades immediatly

Fully stocked purah pad

WAIT THREE TRAVEL MEDALLIONS???

BASED

MY FAVORITE MONEY MAKER IS BACK

I like to kill the hebra great game because they drop gourmet and prime meat and cooking those and they sell for a good price

Horse and bullet time

Many coins

Zelda's memories are so sad

Been giving my friends a fashion show of my favorite clothing

I am again so gay for Sonia and Zelda

My god

ZELDA

BABYGIRL

ZELDA I FORBID THIS

ZELDA YOU YOU

ZELDA

NO NO NO NO NO DONT

MY DEAREST ZELDA

ZELDA

MY LOVE

I am sobbing crying screaming

Im so upset

Zelda being the light dragon is so unfair for her

She deserved happiness and freedom

Not losing her humanity and personhood

YOU CAN MAKE ELEMENTAL WHIPS

Kinky

I went into the strange thunder cloud

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

Why is it taking me into the depths

Not again

Alright Sage of Spirit

I'll make your mech suit for you

That took a while

But owl head statue

Mineru my beloved

Oh.my god this is hell

Worst part of this game so far

EASILY

DONT MAKE ME FUCKING CONTROL THIS WHEN THE CONTROLS ARE THE WORST THING EVER CONCIEVED

Im leaving this temple also undone I DONT CARE THIS FUCKING SUCKS

I hate it

Fuck this

Why do game devs come up with shitty awful bad as hell stuff to do in their games AND MAKE THAT MANDATORY

I just quit the game no lie

Fuck that

I did it and I was being dramatic, it wasnt that hard

Mineru is so goddamn gorgeous

They designed this game for me specifically

I should get back to drawing furries

Mineru holding my hand which is her brother's hand

Tears

Mineru I love her

I have not beaten Fire Temple yet

I just cant

Depths

Darkness and puzzles and fire

Also dont like Yunobo

I feel so bad for Mineru

Zelda :(

Why doesnt Link get a secret stone

RAURU WAS MINERU'S LITTLE BROTHER ::'ÖÖ

Where did Zelda's special stone come from when its a time stone and Ganon stole Sonia's time stone

Mineru I will not go get the Master Sword

Demon Ganon is hot idc

RAURU WHY WOULD YOU

Ganon: "Link. I look forward to meeting him" goes into slumber

Damn all of Rauru disintergrated but his hand

I have to find the light dragon

Eugh

The dragons dont have schedules in this apparently

Sadly

Mineru so was in love w Zelda

Everyone is putting too much weight on Link's shoulders

Fine I'll finish the fire temple

*2 hours later* I hate it here

I did scam those puzzles as much as I could

Worst puzzles

Worst boss too

Marbled gohma

Fucking awful

I nearly died about 11 times

Rip my food storages

I really need to cook more

Special stone for Yunobo booo

Little rock is adorable pet name tho

Ancestor Goron is fine af

WHY DOES NO ONE MENTION THE DIVINE BEASTS BUT YOU CAN FIND THE DIVINE BEAST HELMS AND NO ONE MENTIONS THE BEASTS

Ive heard this story four times now

Fucking hell cant we get anything new

Someone give me a 200k word fanfic where Ganon awakens but is not evil

I need Ganon Zelda Link friendship

End the cycle

Watching Brian David Gilbert and Unraveleds rn

LMAO YUNOBO'S SPECIAL STONE IS ON HIS DICK

We have established this is not a PG channel

Ok fine I like Yunobo

Daruk was better tho

Ive found most memories why cant I say anything to these people about thats not Zelda

I know Zelda is the light dragon

Running around Hyrule Castle for 'Zelda'

About to do bossfight w Ganon

Can I do a flurry rush? No

I just hit or die

Life is like that

No clever tactiques just caveman brain and trying

Evil "Zelda" is fun

Why is Ganon like one of those movie posters here

Why is he still not rehydrated

Ganon I have dick to suck hurry up

"You will not live to see another sunrise" Ganon the sun is rising rn

Woo Phantom Ganons

Fuck yeah

Lets see if I can kill them aka can I finally take on Gloom Hands (I wont)

Ganon's so arrogant

YAY MY FRIENDS ARE HERE

FUCK YEAH

I LOVE YOU ALL

MY SAGE BUDDIES

Not Lynels

Still the hardest enemy in game

Ok so if youve found Mineru and have the Master Sword already, the convo after the fake Ganon fight Purah goes "Youve already found the fifth sage? AND you have the master sword? Why didnt you say so before"

Usually youd get quests for those

It was funny

Why is the limit of horses I can have ten ::((

The Charged shirt is actually so so slutty I love it

IT GLOWS IN THUNDER STORMS

FUCK YEAH

So I finally cleared The Deku Tree's little stomach bug

And like it is so funny how easy the Gloom Hands and Phantom Ganon become when youre in late game

I was sweating about it and then it was so easy

And Im bad at combat

Ok not to brag but I killed a white lynel. First time ever. Also first time ever I killed a lynel without Urbosa's help

#tears of the kingdom #legend of zelda #spoilers

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semi-imaginary-place · 2 years

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dgs2-5 final

they really should have courtney sithe testify. she was there both for the autopsy of klimt van zieks be and the fake execution of genshin asogi.

ah the asogi papers i suspected when they were first introduced the will in the evidence that caiden gave us isnt what the prison scrambled to find or at least not all of it. hmm supposedly written at the prosecutors office but found in a jail cell and vigil saw him writing it in jail. whole prison looking for it to no avail for the governor to discover it. it had bette not be hidden in karuma i already searches that sword twice for hidden compartments. i guess we arent getting that bloody dog collar as evidence, strange. is that written in blood??? ew.

maybe we will get that bloody dog collar. eyyyy. widow... so barok's sister in law is still around right? stronghart is framing this story to imply genshin confronted klint and it escalated to killing him but if that were so why would klint write that confession (which we still havent found so all this is still base less conjecture). if the murder was pinned on gendhin who actually did it? a european sword. ah so stronghart was the one who said klints murder was a professor killing and gregson believed him because even if the others didnt match up, it did look like genshin killed klint.

is mael stronghart monologuing about how he's the reaper mastermind here admissible is court? like he's admitting to orchestrating dozens of murders here. maybe its because its 2022 but "Laaawww and Order" hmm the old chief justice was one of the professor killings who are all agreed to be very corrupt but klint also had a strong personal relationship with and who mentored him as a prosecutor. i want to hear more about that relationship. but more to the point its possible that there were multiple people involved in the professor killings. like stronghart seems deeply involved, wouldnt be supeised if he killed the old chief justice and klint van zieks. 3 paged? ooopooh he slipped up. aaaa dont tell it really is the sword!! i have to search it again?? there it is klints confession. i see stronghart is also of the philosophy never play defense if someone accuses you accuse them back make them react to what you say.

honor of a duel... ehhhhhhhhh. i do like this. compare to say the first ace attorney game where it boiled down being able to catch the dude because he got sloppy and resorted to murder and we spend the entire trial unraveling his scapegoats. where here it really was klint that killed them and thats so much better because its not just 1 dude who did bad things. wow im surprised drebber is still alive he could have easily died that night or any time after. mael stronghart the master of blackmail and entrapment. he catches people at something and leverages that or their ambitions into doing worse again and again until he disposes of them. wow thats scummy. i should have kept a running total of all the times he uses law and order as a justification is has to have been at least 5 or 6 times this chapter alone. "done nothing" uhhh i dont know how japanese nor british courts work but is blackmail, conspiracy for murder, and assisting murder not crimes? and obstruction of justice. oh so its ok if jigoku falls but not ok if he does.

sholmes livestreamed the whole courtroom to the queen oh course he did. and this is why having open fire in a courthouse is a bad idea.

oh i get it. kazuma and barok are also foils. each thought the other killed someone precious to them and stronghart was stringing both of them along by revenge.

why was mrs. van zieks in hiding? yeh that family has the money to hire good doctors / midwives. why the secrecy? ooh so she was planning for when klint's confession would be made public and meeded the birth to be secret so that her daughter wouldnt carry the van zieks name.

hmmm thats good resolution between barok and ryuunosuke but things are very much still unresolved between ryunosuke and kazuma.

why did ryuunosuke arrive at baker street far later than everyone else? and what happened to the murder dog?

nov 7 why leave so early, if you're going to spend over two months to travel across the world you might as well stay a couple months. yyeeesss its not quite resolution but ryunosuke and kazuma take the first steps to seeing each other eye to eye and rebuilding their friendship. they need to be able to see through that mutual idolization.

you make we wait EIGHT whole cases to reveal why barok stopped being a prosecutor for 5 year literally one of the first things the judge says in 1-3, but yeah of course its the weight of the reaper reputation. i was wondering why vigil was in jail and then i remembered that every witness in this series lies under oath

GOOD GAME GAME GOOD

#dgs #dgs2 spoilers #tgaa #aa

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spade-club · 1 year

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Okay okay so my person is home now after staying over and I feel like talking in weird detail so I'm going to do that on here if thats cool. This one is going to be more of a mixed bag of INTENSELY personal things than the usual cutesy stuff I usually say about them on my other blog bc I'm feeling lots of things today.

Warning for mentions of sex in both a positive and negative connotation also brief but notable death mention

First of all, theres such a strange feeling about allowing myself to be seen as a girl especially in a sexual sense. I'm not used to it and its weirdly comforting? Considering how much I fought against it for a long while there. I mean, I have mixed feelings about it and I wish there was a solution that let me be trans in just the right way for me to be treated more like I'm trans(/nonbinary/whatever) than anything else. Idk if that makes sense, theres just a balance for me I want to find but I think its good that I'm allowing things to go this way now, I'm experimenting with myself and it doesnt feel scary at all. (Well a little embarrassing but I think thats normal) it's just an adjustment to being on the other side of so many things that I've done to others but have never experienced myself. The mlw -> wlm experience sure is something.

They did ask me if I wanted to have sex and I said no because I was worried my trauma would get in the way and what we were doing was already kinda a lot for me. And I will say the way they just said okay, asked if I wanted to keep doing what we were doing and when I wasnt super enthusiastic about that (I said that we could, and I did want to, I just felt a tad awkward and I think they noticed that) they just stopped and we cuddled. I do wish that more could have happened, honestly, especially because we dont see eachother often and I dont know when anything will happen again. But I'm also very content with what has happened because I think I've been in need of a healthy sexual interaction for a long time now and I just havent really been able to catch a break lol (my ex was mostly fine but theres a lot of shit she did that made me so dysphoric and anxious in a way that lingered for a bit too long on my self worth. Not her fault though, just kid things I guess)

I am worried though that I have done something wrong or havent done something I should have and I dont know if they enjoyed it at all. Its hard to tell because they're a bit more of a closed book and I feel awkward asking like "hey, you know the absolutely nothing I did for you while you were doing things for me? Yeah was that like, okay? Did you have fun anyway? What was going through your mind? And also do you hate me? Are you ever planning on speaking to me again or did I already show you I'm too much of a challenge and do you want to move on from me completely and forever? Also sorry I almost killed you that one time, also that other time...... I would understand if you want me dead now... do you?" Like, how the fuck do you ask someone any of that??? Idk!!

I also think its notable that I have not done anything sexual with another person in almost three years now. I've only ever been with one person before yesterday. I've only ever KISSED one person before yesterday. So all of this is like, first and second times doing things and its. aAA!! I dont know what im doing at all and I'm so awkward and way too afraid to tell them this but maybe I should so they know where I'm coming from aaaa idk!!!

#sad posting #not really but I want this to be easily hide-able #I'm embarrassed posting this but I really want to just. share #usually this would be a private post but fuck it. I'm a new person and I talk about shit now!!!

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kaz11283 · 3 years

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Love Never Wins

Summary: Words will be said but do you really think either one of you mean them. Sometimes actions speak louder.

Warnings: slight angst

Characters: Loki, Thor, Y/n, Clint, avengers in the background here and there

Loki x you, Thor x you (platonic), Clint x you (brother,sister)

ANNOUNCEMENT: Not going to lie. This was going to be a simple short sweet straight to the point drabble but it turned into such a looooong one shot (i guess) I was in a good head space wgile writing this and just couldnt stop really. But it is something that I am very proud of.

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: I've had to make this a simple 2 part. I got way to carried away with everything in it!

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What's going on with you?" You yelled as you grabbed Loki by the arm pulling him away from the girl who was obviously flirting with him and he with her.

"What are you talking about? We were talking." He yelled back.

"You were flirting Loki in front of everyone! Openly! Don't play me for the fool you think I am. You've been off lately. Not around as much, zoning out when we finally have some time together. If there's something you want to say tell me now." You felt the tears rush to your eyes. You had seen all the signs, hell you were an expert at the signs. Multiple boyfriends had given you the signs before but for some reason you though that maybe, just maybe, he was diffrent.

"I just feel like we've grown apart in the last few months y/n. I don't think I can do this anymore." he said simply.

"You said I brought out the best side of you, that I was the love of your life." You said tears streaming down your face now, to hell with the makeup you was wearing you wasn't going back to the party anyways.

"You're not." He stated simply clenching his jaw.

"Ok fine. It's not the first time I've been broken up with. Just the first time that I had ever put so much into someone that I truly did see a future with just to have my heart completely ripped out in front of me. You got me good this time trickster. Don't think I'll be able to fully recover from this one." You spat back at him before turning to head up stairs to your room that the two of you had shared for so long.

Luckily Tony hadn't done anything to the room you had once occupied on a lower level of the tower so you easily moved all of your clothing back into there in a matter of no time. You weren't use to the feeling of being alone but thats all you wanted right now for the rest of your life. The god of tricks had ruined other men for you, he had once shown you love like you had never felt, and now your heart broke like it had never broke before.

"Hey sis, noticed you weren't- oh god what did he do?" Clint asked walking into your room. "Knew something was up. I could feel it."

"Hawk stop with the twin shit, its creepy." You huffed whipping your eyes on the back your long sleeve hoodie.

"What happened? All I know is you two disappeared, he came back, you didn't, and he said I should probably find you in your old room." He sat down next to you.

"We broke up. Easy as that. Ya know I never understood why they say not to date your co workers till today." You shrugged turning to him. "When we first got together you hated it-"

"To be fair he did brainwash me."

"I didn't say you didn't have a right. We kept it from you for a while though. But we hadn't been together long, Hawk, I thought he was diffrent from any man I ever dated-"

"Well he is a god, kinda different."

"Would you shut up so I can vent just for a little bit then you can go back to the party."

"Na, parties lame anyways, I was thinking about hanging out here for a little bit." He said kicking his shoes off and proping his feet on the coffee table throwing his arms across the back of the couch.

"Whatever," you rolled your eyes as you snuggled into your brother. "He was so kind, gentle, he was paciant with me. He knew that me and you were close and he didnt wamt to get in the way of that. He wanted us to be closer than he and Thor was. I think it helped him realize just how important family is when you only have each other. We kept it a secret for so long though." You pulled the hood up closer to your face. You didn't want to admit to yourself but you had kept the jacket because it still smelled like him.

"Nat seen the two of you making out in the hall weeks before you told anyone by the way." He laughed pulling you closer to him. " I didnt say anything though because I knew you would tell me when you were comfortable with it."

"I love him so much and he played me. Completely tricked me into these feelings that I dont think will ever change." You sobbed wrapping your arms around his waist, he through his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer.

"Hes a dick with a god complex. Hes not good enough for you at all. Coming from a brother, a twin brothers point of view, I think you could do better. All is fair in love and war, but dont put it past me to be a little rougher on him during training, and I wont point anything out if you happen to let some bad guy kill him on the field." He said kissing the top of your head.

"Hawk, you know I'm not like that. I habe a reputation to up hold." You said slapping his arm before pulling away. "If you wanna stay theres still some of your sweats that I stole in the bedroom and ice cream in the freezer, but your sleeping on the couch. Its been since we were kids that we shared a bed but I bet you still kick."

~~~~

A few weeks had passed since you and Loki had called it quites. You had been mainly staying in your room trying not to cause any uncomfortable silence if you and Loki wede in the same room. On one occasion when you had ventured out to the living room you seen Loki holding an icepack to his eye and a busted lip, your first instinct was to rush over and make sure he was ok but instead you turned and took a seat between Thor and Clint.

"Lady Y/n, as always your peresnts lights up the room. We just havent been seeing much of it as of late." Thor greeted you with a warm smile throwing his huge arm ober your shoulder, making you look smaller than you already was.

"No more gods." Clint mumbled beside you.

"Thor is just a friend. One of the best I have." You laughed. "What happened?" Nodding toward Loki.

"Payback." He shrugged.

"Ah yes, it turns out Loki is not very good at hand to hand combat unles he is able to use his magic." Thor laughed. "I always tried to get him to train with me but he never did, turns out he probably should have."

"Oh for god sakes I'm right here and you three are not really whispering. I shouldn't have to learn hand to hand combat I have my sedair! I'm assuming it was just your brothers idea so that he could get back at me." He yelled.

"And you forget that there could come a time when you might need hand to hand. I told you many times that you needed to train but no mister 'I'm Loki prince of Asguard, burdened with glorious purpose', mister I have my magic. Bullshit. Your just sour because a mear mortal bested you at something. Grow a pair and learn how to actually fight." You jumped up. You had finally snapped. It had been coming tough sitting in you waiting for the right, or wrong, time to show up.

"You watch your tone!" He shouted jumping up. "I know how to fight better than half the people in here." Clint and Thor slowly stood watching the scene in front of them neither one know what to do.

"You know how to use your pixie dust to make things happen! Well guess what tinker bell this aint Neverland. We get in weird predicaments all the time you never know what to expect." You yelled back. "Hell Loki, your probably so bad at hand to hand even I could beat you."

"Oh your on. Training room, 30mins. That is unless your scared?" He said giving you a mischievous smirk.

"Trust and believe I'm not afraid of you by any means. No weponds, no sedair strictly hand to hand." You said turning on your heel to walk to your room to get ready leaving Clint and Thor standing alone in the living room aww struck.

"So what do we do?" Clint finally asked.

"Well of course we have to stop this. It will not end very well." Thor answered.

"So tell the others?"

"Yes you tell the others I will get refreshments for the battle." They took off in seprate directions.

#loki and thor #loki avengers #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki x reader #loki daily #loki #loki angst #lokilaufeyson #loki one shot #loki fandom #loki x y/n

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gayfrenchtoast · 3 years

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Okay fine we're doing this. I havent read the books and I'm probably not going to I've only seen the movies so I'm sorry if anything I say is contradictory or has already been stated.

So! Descendants 3 was kinda shit and I dont like it but especially because of the ending because everybody was like "oh yeah island is open and we're all happy with no worries or implications about free villains or people being spiteful about being imprisoned for years!" In fact if anything they joked about those things.

The island is basically its own culture, I can't say how long it's been around, long enough for some almost adult kids to be about and to develop a kind of community.

The Isle is a place of poverty, people are dirty and on the street, eveyone steals from each other and most people don't put much effort into appearance upkeep (personal or of the sourounding area) not because of laziness or being "evil" but because they clearly don't have time or luxury to do such things or possibly even the clean water. Does the Isle have clean water?? How to they get electricity??? Someone tell me!

Another thing that I've noticed is easy to see but is not much explicitly said is the unique style of those on the Isle. As previously stated they don't have much but those who have the most "power" and such on the Isle are the best example of this As they have the most colourful outfits. However these outfits are often made out of patches and ripped things put together, even salvaged things like nets and chains as we can see on thing like Uma and Harry's outfits in D3 they make the best of what they've got and they do fantastic because their outfits are intricate and detailed and just tell you everything you need to know about them. Which is why it's a damn s h a m e when the original VK's ajust their style to be more like Auradon's. That's not an improvement! Be proud of where you came from!! It's like they forgot what it was like being on the Isle in D3!

Moving on, here's something that was touched on in D2 but not enough. Equality. On the Isle there is basically equal opportunity as in saying everything is shit and nome cares what gender and presumably what sexuality you are as long as you can work. Sexism is shown to be almost casual in aurodon from the looks of it, Chad makes sexist comments and litterally none else says anything or seems to see anything wrong with it except Jay who caves to pressure from peers and expectations. He does redeem himself because he's from the isle and he knows you shouldn't give a shit about anyone's gender or anything. If they can do something and ask to be included you give them that opportunity. The sexism is also implied in the way that the rule book has men written specifically in the first place and that it has taken until then for anyone but boys to be allowed on any kind of sports team. We never see it! It seems to be the hetronormative veiw where the boys do sport and girls do cheerleeding and other genders? What other genders? Never heard of that? BAD AURADON!! I bet there's so many trans folk on the island just living their lives, thinking Aurodon is the better place and not knowing that it's a cis het filled nightmare.

Okay no I'm headcannoning now, if their are now a bunch of Isle kids at auradon prep they find it fucking aweful the way all these preppy royals are treating them and make the first LGBT club in Auradon. There is lots of pushback and they get bullied a fuck ton for making themselves the most prominent queer folk in the school until a fight breaks out and the club demand that they should be treated better, taking all the evidence to fairy godmother who is very hesitant because COME ON she's never been that great she is biased to Auradon kids and if putting away those in the Isle is brought up she is all on it, she is jelly spined about doing anything against the royal kids. So the kids are like "Fine, if you won't help us we'll take this to the King himself!" Well mainly the queer mom's of the group (you know the ones I'm talking about) who lead the others and protect the anxious queers as they storm to Ben at his fucking locker and demand an audience because they are being harassed and bullied and none is doing anything. Ben had no idea there was even a LGBT club (too busy ig) and is gassed there is one for a moment before he's like "wait people are harassing you?" So Bisexual King Ben gets his lovely Bi wife and they start coming to club meetings and investing in the pins and stuff the club makes. Most club members are pleased but the queer mom's are apprehensive that this will help until some assholes come to the club to do their usual bullying only to find King and Queen Beast themselves siting there with rainbow bracelets and bi pins and all trying to have a nice old time eating their fucking cupcakes what the fuck are yall doing? The bullying dies down quick once they realise it ain't gonna fly, the other OG VK's that hear about this become members and very protective over their queer children. Did I mention Dizzy and Ceila are a part of the club? They're girlfriend's. Celia is one of the queer moms. Harry becomes one of the biggest protectors over the group as the pan dad. He's been going around snogging everyone and anyone wholl snog him everyone already knew he was queer they just didn't have the balls to try and bully him over it as much as they bullied the lil club members. But now Harry can often be seen in jackets and shit with pan and general queer patches and pins and running around with his gay children yelling "MOVE WE'RE GAY!!" He totally calls them his queer crew. Anyway as a result lots of queer royals start coming out of the woodwork, obvs Lonnie is one of them, and the club eventually serves to bring members of Auradon and the Isle close together.

Where was I? Yada yada auradon expects girls to be pretty princesses and boys to be brave knights or dashing princes. It's shit and should stop being portrayed as good. Moving on!

Food! One of the things we'll established in all movies is that the food of the Isle is shit compared to food of Auradon. The Isle has no fresh fruit which likely means its almost impossible for things to grow there which is fair because again there doesn't seem to be much fresh water and there are always clouds overhead so no sun. Maybe there is some people trying really hard to grow stuff but the general attitude of the Isle seems to be "there is no time for that" and fruits are forgotten so much that the VK's litterally don't knownwhat they are when they come across them. That and anything containing sugar. Actually it's mention by Dizzy and Celia that they enjoy the fact that the cake dosent have dirt or flies so basically food there is terrible. We don't see much food on the Isle but what we do see seems to be beans, eggs, chips and shellfish. Basically protine and carbs that can be easily stored and produced. To be fair beans are kidna good for you but they're likely a sign that if they get any imports from the mainland it is canned stuff. Prison food. There's probably some chef villain that is trying their best to make good food out of the shit but honestly the Isle dwellers should be angry that they've been deprived of good food for so long not happy they're finally been given decency.

Moving on, music! Auradon dosent have nearly as many musical numbers it seems, the Isle songs have a distinct style, to them, the villains that basically "founded" the place were masters of the dramatic songs (with backup or solo) so banging music is basically ingrained in the music's culture, even for battle as we see with the fight between Mal and Uma in D3. Meanwhile Auradon seems to have mainly romance and "I want" songs. Even Audrey's villain song is basically an I want song.

Okay let's talk about the Villains. We've established that the VK's are not inherently bad. However not all of them can be totally good and there are legit OG Villains just kinda chillin on the Isle. They've obviously lost quite a bit of their power, motivation and sanity (isolation will do that to ya as they lost everything and the VKs know no different) but deadass? They were bad guys. You can try to rehabilitate them sure but you've basically just let them free roam, they could make a runner and you wouldn't get the chance. They were also shitty patents which is brushed over/joked about in the interaction between Carlos and...man I feel bad I forgot her name deadass their relationship seemed to come out of nowhere in the second film she didn't seem interested in them at all and friendzoned them multiple times I'm pretty sure Disney did that becaue queer kids were relating to Carlos and headcanoning them as queer (which they deffinatly are) but deadass their mom is an attempted animal murderer and has hurt her child as we can see from how they're afraid of her and her rhetoric and yet it's "haha I'm afraid to meet your ma!" "Me too cus im a dog! Lol!" Fuuuuck offfffff

I think I'm running out of thoughts so here's a last one for now; with the magical barrier down a bunch of magical Villains kids should be coming out for the woodwork. We know Mal has magic basically stored in her so it's is possible, she technically doesn't need the spellbook to do magic it is just inherent to her. So with the diverse range of people from the isle there are deffinatly magic folk in there. Actually if we're following Disney movie law I saw something mentioning Jay being half Genie and yeah! He should be half Genie! Jafar got turned into a Genie he's probably only human because of the barrier! Oh also Ben should be able to go beast on command as long as he had a better beast form than he did in the movies. And give him back the beard and fangs like fuck you he looked so much better

Okay I'm done for now

#decendants #decendants 3 #mal #carlos de vil #jay #harry hook #uma

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thisissirius · 3 years

Text

because 4x01 happened and i had feelings about it. the therapy stuff is taken directly from my own counselling sessions. i might not have gone through a tsunami and a truck bombing, but i’ve seen some shit lol. ANYWAY. i hope y’all like this.

for @capseycartwright who always deserves the best buck content and quality sassy eddie <3

need help (but can you help me? [ao3 link] buck, buck/eddie, hurt/comfort, therapy

Eddie leaned against the doorjamb to his bathroom, arms folded across his chest. “I hear you’re cheating on me with a Covid crush?”

Buck snorted. “You’ve been talking to Chim.”

“More like had to listen to him,” Eddie corrected. He met Buck’s eyes through the mirror.

“You know I would never—”

“I know, Buck,” Eddie said quickly. He straightened up, came to stand next to Buck at the basin. Buck looked to the left, lips quirking up. Before he could say anything, Eddie leaned in, resting his head on Buck’s shoulder, their eyes meeting in the mirror again. “I trust you.”

Fingers curling around the edge of the basin, Buck sighed. “I should just tell them.”

Eddie kissed Buck’s neck. “You don’t owe anybody anything.”

Silence lapsed between them.

“When you’re ready to tell people, you will,” Eddie said, sliding a hand up Buck’s back, scratching through his hair and then pulled back. “Breakfast in half an hour. Chris is already up.”

“Fuck you,” Buck said with a laugh.

Eddie blew him a kiss and tapped the doorframe on his way out.

_________

Buck wasn’t keeping it a secret deliberately.

Quarantine was difficult. It wasn’t as bad for him as it was for a lot of people given that he was still able to work, but he hadn’t been alone since the quarantine had started. It had started to get too much for him to handle around the second month.

“I used to think I was lonely,” he said, leaning on his desk.

Lisa nodded, sitting back in her chair. “And now?”

“I havent been for a while,” he said. “But not because of quarantine. That’s just made me realize I love my workmates but living with them has been difficult.”

“You’re ready for them to go home.”

Buck huffed a short laugh. “Yeah, I am. Well. I’m sad Eddie’s gone, but I know why he had to.”

Lisa’s face remained impassive. It was one of the reasons Buck liked her. “Do you miss him?”

Missed was an understatement. Though Hen and Eddie had gone home and Buck had been glad to have his apartment mostly to himself, that didn’t stop him missing Eddie like a phantom limb. It had been difficult without Chris around, moreso for Eddie, but Buck had missed him too. That would change now, as long as they were careful and took precautions, and Buck wanted to go back to having Eddie and Chris to himself—without Chm around. “I just wish Chim would leave.”

“Hmm,” Lisa said.

“Not because I’m sick of him,” Buck said. “It’s just hard when he’s here. I feel like I can’t be myself.”

Lisa stared at him. “You can with Eddie?”

“Yeah,” Buck said. “I can.”

“Then start with that,” Lisa said. “Keeping it a secret is taxing on you, and I can imagine on Eddie, but if the two of you have decided it works for you, then only you get to decide when you tell your friends and family.”

“I know.” Buck blew out a slow breath. “Thanks, Lisa.”

“It’s what I’m here for, Buck,” she said with a smile. “However, that’s the end of the session and I have to go. If you need anything, text me, alright?”

Buck nodded, thumb hovering over the mousepad. “I will. Thanks again.”

The sign off was always awkward over Zoom, but Buck hadn’t dealt well with face to face sessions. When he closed his laptop, he sat back in his chair, hearing Maddie’s laugh through the speakers of Chim’s laptop. Great. Rolling his eyes, Buck cast a quick eye at the clock. Not long and they had to be at work.

_________

“Well,” Eddie said. “At least it’s not a tsunami.”

Buck gave him a look. “Are you kidding me?”

Eddie was smiling, the dick, and Buck elbowed him. “Ow,” he said through a laugh. Sobering quickly, he reached out, squeezed Buck’s arm as best he was able in their gear. “It’ll be alright.”

“I can’t do it again, Eddie.”

Eddie turned. “Buck, look at me.”

Buck winced but did as asked. They didn’t have long before they’d be on the roof.

“I’ve got you, hear me? No matter what, you’re not on your own this time.”

I wasn’t before, Buck didn’t say. “Okay.”

“You hearing me?”

“Yes, Eddie, I got you.”

Eddie smirked. “Don’t sass me, Buckley.”

“I’ll do whatever Ilike,” Buck said mulishly, but he couldn’t stop the smile from forming. “Thanks, Eddie.”

“Anytime,” Eddie said, dropping his voice. “Now let’s get this done, alright?”

_____________________

Buck massaged his temples. “It was a disaster. Literally.”

“It was,” Lisa agreed.

“With everything that went on, it reminded me of the tsunami.”

Lisa nodded sympathetically. “That must have been difficult.”

It took Buck a minute to find his voice. “I had a job to do this time as well and I didn’t have Chris to look out for.” When he realised Lisa looked ready to speak, Buck powered on. “Not that I resented looking out for Chris. I know—you know how I feel about that and that I’ll probably always regret it, but I had Eddie this time. I had—a job and someone to help me.”

“Okay,” Lisa said. It wasn’t a dismissal, and Buck nodded. “I know how much trust you have in Eddie, Buck. I just wonder how much you have in yourself.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve talked about the truck bombing, the tsunami. We’ve talked about the blood clots and the lawsuit,” and Buck winces at the reminder, “and throughout all of that you mention everything you’ve done wrong.”

Buck frowned. “Yeah?”

“What about the things you did right?”

There was a long silence.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I want you to do something for me, okay?”

Buck waited for her to finish, not knowing how to answer.

“Before you next call me, I want you to write down five things you’ve done right in the time you’ve been working. I would prefer it to be related to those incidents we discussed, but I will take other things as well.”

“I—” Buck started.

“If you can’t, it’s okay. I just want you to try.”

“Okay,” Buck said eventually. “I’ll try.”

_____________________

Maddie narrowed her eyes. “So when do I get hear about it?”

“Never,” Buck said, not having to ask what she meant. “It’s private, Mads.”

“Even from me?” Maddie sounded hurt. Buck hated himself just a little but he was taking to heart the things Lisa told him; he and Eddie were the only ones with the right to tell people that they were in a relationship, nobody else could decide for them.

Reaching out, he touched the screen, wishing he could hold her hand. “It’s not what you think, I promise you that. When I’m ready to tell you, I will.”

There was a long pause, but Maddie shut off the call and she didn’t look annoyed. “Okay. I am here if you need me.”

“I know,” Buck said. He missed his sister terribly, but was determined to make Chim leave before he met her himself. . “I wish I could convince Chim to come home.”

Maddie’s face shifted. She looked sad and Buck wished he could change that too. “I’m just as scared as he is. I shouldn’t be doing this alone.”

“Want me to kick his ass?”

Shaking her head, Maddie at least let out a little laugh, so Buck counted it as a win. “No.”

“Maybe this,” Buck said, waving a hand behind him to encompass everything that had happened. “Will shake him up. He hasn’t come home yet.”

“He hasn’t?” Maddie frowned. “Didn’t he finish work with you?”

“I think Hen took him out,” Buck said. “Maybe she’s doing the yelling for you.”

There was the trace of a smile on her face. “I just want him want this as much as I do.”

“Hey,”Buck said, leaning forward. “If there’s one thing I do know about Chim right now, it’s that he’s desperate to be a dad with you, Mads. He’s been going through all my parenting books while we’ve been in lockdown.”

Maddie paused. “Why do you have parenting books?”

“For Chris,” Buck said, rolling his eyes. “Stop it. They were so i could help Eddie.”

“Oh,” Maddie said, and there was the sister he knew and loved so much. “If it’s for Eddie.”

“I’m going now,” Buck said, waving a hand. “Go do whatever it is you and Albert do.”

Maddie laughed and cut off the call.

___________________

“It’s my therapist,” Buck said.

Eddie looked up from cooking dinner. “What?”

“The person I’m calling.”

Eddie didn’t say anything for a long time. Buck worried it was because he was mad, but realised he was just turning off the burner. “Come here.”

Buck went, standing awkwardly next to Eddie, until Eddie reached up, wrapping his arms around Buck’s shoulders. Like a string had been cut, Buck fell against him, sorry when Eddie had to adjust his stance or send them toppling. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“You didn’t have to,” Eddie assured him, ghosting a kiss across his head. “I’m proud of you.”

“For seeing a therapist?” Buck scoffed.

Eddie pulled back, touching a hand to Buck’s face. “For telling me. I know it’s not an easy thing to do.”

Buck’s breathing was shaky, he could hear it, and he wanted to look anywhere but at Eddie’s face, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. “I wanted to make everything less messed up.”

“You’re not messed up,” Eddie snapped, then sighed. “I’m sorry. You might feel that way, but I don’t see messed up.”

“What do you see?”

“I see the man I love hurting and struggling.”

The words came out so easily that Buck was almost physically struck by them. “Eddie.”

“I love you,” Eddie said quietly. Buck knew what a gift it was to be loved by someone like Eddie. “I’m behind you no matter what.”

“I know,” Buck said, just as quiet. “I love you too. I just needed—quarantine got to me and I know it did to you—”

“You’re allowed to feel things too. It’s not a competition.”

Buck shrugged. “I know you had Chris.”

“And you had Maddie and me.”

“You were there.”

Eddie nodded, but made a face. “Not in the way we both wanted. It killed me not to be able to touch you or hold you in the way I’m used to.”

“Same.” Buck leaned in, pressed a soft kiss to Eddie’s mouth. “We’re together now.”

“Yeah, we are,” Eddie said, the smile on his face as brilliant as Buck felt. “Come on. Dinner’ll be ready soon and then you can challenge Chris to a lego battle.”

Buck snorted. “I’ll lose. I always do.”

“The joy of being a father,” Eddie said.

Again, Buck was struck by the words, and thought of Maddie. “I am, huh?”

Turning back to the stove, Eddie looked over his shoulder. “You will be.”

It sounded like a hell of a promise.

The next time Buck spoke to Lisa, he was sure he would have those five things she wanted. But if he didn’t, he could talk about Eddie. About Chris, his family, the future. He had something to look forward to and that made everything look brighter.

#buddie fic #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 #fic by me #otp: i forgive you #911 spoilers

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ohhmyheart5678 · 3 years

Text

When in the streets of seoul (5)

*warning* this mentions death, murder, suicide, guns, and other gruesome and dark content if you are sensitive to these kinds of things do not read it

Pairing: Chan x female reader

Word count 2.1k

Previous/ next

*****

It's been six days, six day fucking days since I've been trapped here. I absolutely hate it. I spent the first three days not speaking to anyone and the other three finally excepting the fact that this is going to be my life now.

It's such a nice place. I get fed the best foods, I sleep in the most comfortable king sized bed with silk sheets, I have the best clothes, and I'm still miserable.

I went to the speaker and pressed 1. "Kinely ! You need something?" Chan sounded quite concerned. He believed that I had everything I needed but he forgot one thing. "I need to go to the store" I say sharply. Even though the deal was that I wasn’t able to go in public he haven't let me out of this room yet.

He says I'm not cooperating and so I have to wait. "What do you need from the store that I can't get for you?" I could hear the slight annoyance in his voice but he could never be as annoyed as I am right now. I mean he is keeping me hostage for Christ sake. "Just take me to the store you dickhead" I was honestly so done with him.

I needed to get out this room and I needed to go to the store ASAP. "I'm not going to the store because you won't tell me what it is" Chris was trying to put his foot down but little did he know I was far better at this game than he was. "Look I need pads either you take me to get them, or you can suffer the consequences of trying to find the perfect pads for me which I guarantee that you won't and then you'll have to take me to pick them out anyways, or we can always go with the option of me bleeding everywhere" there was a long pause before he finally responded.

"Fine I'll take you to the store" was all he said before it went completely silent. I waited patiently by the door until a boy comes in. "Hey seugmin did Chris send you for me" he just gives a simple nod. "Felix and I" he simply says while fully opening the door that he was standing in just enough to show his body. Once he swung open the door it revealed Felix. The orange haired boy waved at me.

Since staying here Chris has sent the boys at least once so that they could introduce themselves since I'm gonna be seeing a lot more of them. I've learned about what these boys do. Since I had nothing better to do the least I could do was steal information on the guys I'm going to be living with from now on.

For instance Chris is the oldest and the leader. He calls the shots, he looks over the plans, and makes sure everything runs smoothly he does need to do much work but Felix says Chris is the last resort and that he’s feel bad for anyone if Chris was called in. Then there's Minho. He is one of the main men on the field he's the look out and distraction, and supposedly from what I heard he does a damn good job at it. Plus Minho has a medical background so if anyone gets hurt he’s the man everyone goes to.

There's also changbin he's got quite the temper so they use him when there's need for extreme measures you know if they need .. a mess. I heard he can get pretty creative with that stuff.

Hyunjin, who often checks on me throughout the day is the sniper. He knows weapons like the back of his hands and could handle them blindfolded. Then it's Jisung, they call him Han. He is the best fighter in the house. You can have a gun in the fight and he could still win.

Felix known as the second Aussie of the house does the interrogations. He can get anyone to talk, his deep voice scares mostly anyone , but for the ones that are harder to get through. Let's just say they can either come out alive while missing some part of their body. Or they can come out in a body bag.

Seugmin is the hacker, he can hack into litterally anything. You name it, he can hack it. He's the one who got the information on my dad.

Last but definitely not least there's jeongin they all him I.N . He is silent but deadly. The red hair boy is like a ninja. They use him when they want to get the job done quickly but quietly.

We arrived downstairs where Chris was waiting for us at the door. I figured he was already handling business downstairs so he fetched the two boys to get me. "Thanks gentleman I got it from here" it was his nice easy of telling them to go away.

We got into his car and he drives us to a nearby store. I looks around searching for the right ones as he stands behind me trying to figure how the whole process works. I saw the pack I wanted and grabbed two of them. "Ahh now I know for next time" he says as if he has just been enlightened. "Next time?" I wanted to know what he meant by next time.

"Next time its you know... that time, I'll be able to pick out the right ones for you" that’s so aggravating! My only reason to get out the house was once again taken from me. Chan probably could tell that I was slightly disappointed by his statement so he changed it a little , I mean seeing that he’s talking to a hormonal women who’s not necessarily in the best mood at the moment. "I mean unless you'd like to do it for yourself" A small smile slightly appeared on my face as I handed the cashier the goods to ring up. "Is there anything else you want or need from here before we leave" Chris wanted to hurry out of here because this was time he could be spending working at home. "Nope" I was completely content with having what I needed so far.

Once we arrived back home I was instantly sent back to my room. Sitting there in boredom I looked around for some form of entertainment. There was absolutely nothing to do in this room and I was just now realizing it. For the past few days all I've been doing was sleeping and eating , so I didn't stop to think about it . I was too busy being sad about being locked up in a room by a bunch of psychos.

I looked over at the speaker not wanting to bother Chris because I rarely want to even speak to him. I walked over pushing the number 5 on the speaker and hoped this man was in his room.

"Hey kinely are you doing ok?" He genuinely sounded concerned. "Can you come over here please" I knew I didn't have to really ask him because he doesn't mind coming and checking on me anyways but I thought to ask just in case . "Sure just give me a sec" Hyunjin was always in here and even though Chris comes in often to talk to me he's always busy it's only for a few seconds before he goes back to "work".

Hyunjin came within fifteen minutes. He knocks making sure I'm not naked or anything. I think that it was pretty nice of him to do considering the other boys just come in as they please. I mean I know it's your home and all but a girl needs privacy.

"Come in" I yelled from my closet, I had just put on sweats and a hoodie to get a little comfortable. "You sent for me?" He walked in and closed the door behind him. "I was wondering if you could stay in here for a little longer than you normally do? I think I'm gonna go insane in here by myself" he chuckled at me being immensely dramatic. I put the back of my hand on my forehead pretending to be a damsel in distress.

He walked over to my bed and sat on it and patted on it which was his way of telling me to sit down. "Maybe you don't have to stay in here all the time" he seemed like he was getting somewhere but I was yet to follow. "What do you mean?" Was he gonna take me out this house or was I reading this wrong? "Its not much but maybe you could come to my room. There's tons of things to do in there. We just can't let Chan know I'm taking you out considering he wants you in the room." He fidgets a little wondering how I was going to respond to his offer.

Hell yeah I was gonna take this opportunity to leave the room! I had nothing else to do in the looney house. "Why not?" I shrug not wanting him to know just how excited I was. He grabs my head and leads me to his room all the way in the other side of the house.

My jaw dropped once he opened his room door to let me inside. He had arcade games like ddr, those ones when you race on the motorcycle, street fighter and pac man. He had a giant tv mounted on his wall in front of his bed and a wii console which I havent seen in years. "Told ya" he crossed his arms leaning against doorframe while admiring the dumb look of shock on my face.

"Where do we even start?" I was still looking around trying to pinpoint the first thing I wanted to do. "Doesn't matter where we start all you need to know is I'll kick your ass at any game in this room" his cockiness shines through, a side of him I haven't seen since I first met him.

What he didn't know was how competitive I can get "You're gonna be very disappointed when you realize how much you suck compared to me, especially when I beat you in dance revolution" It was on now. I can see a gleam in his eyes and knew he was almost if not just as competitive as I am.

Twelve rounds, six wins , and six loses later. We decided to watch a movie. "How's it feel to loose to someone as amazing as I?" I stood on his bed placing my hand on my hips. I'm sure he's yet to meet someone as dramatic as me. "We both won and lost the same amount of time so I'd say we're equally as amazing if you ask me" hes right about that but this his room and his games that he plays all the time if he didn’t win then it would be embarrassing. Hyunjin pulls my right leg causing me to fall on his bed. "You asshole!" My body had no control over itself. It was bouncing up and down on its own and I couldn't even stop it.

"You were to one who wanted to watch a movie and you can't even sit still" Hyunjin teases while I finally get myself together and sit up all the way in the bed. "Plus you weren't calling me a asshole when I took you out of your room." I gasped while holding my chest. "Oh how dare you?" I squinted my eyes at him and he laughed at me.

I must admit I haven't felt this good in a few days. I almost forgot that I was being held against my will but the thought is always in the back of my mind. I finally settle down and Hyunjin was nice enough to let me choose the movie I wanted. So here we were, on the bed watching a movie. For comfort I lay my head on his shoulder and her wraps his wraps around me.

I felt relaxed and almost safe. Soon I fell asleep with the movie playing in the background. Hyunjin was staying still trying not to wake me up. In fact so still that he ended up falling asleep himself.

I just needed to wake up on time before Chris realizes that I'm gone.

Previous/next

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radiantmists · 3 years

Note

ooooh i'd love to hear your thoughts on an rqg and stormlight crossover!

absolutely.

(send me 2+ fandoms and i’ll give you thoughts on crossing them over)

okay so first of all I’ve thought about this just a little already, in that i saw a significant link between zolf’s new ethos, the whole not-hope what-comes-next thing, and the first ideal, especially as presented in Oathbringer. The radiant orders in general actually feel like... especially codified paladins/clerics, where you get powers in exchange for subscribing to a certain set of ideals.

so i cheated a little and consulted a conversation i had on the rqbb server about radiant orders for the party; using that plus this radiant order guide, i came up with the following:

sasha’s an edgedancer. this is the one i’m most sure about; the slid-ey powers fit, but ‘remembering those who’ve been forgotten’ is also very sasha, especially with her Good End being starting an orphanage. plus she just has The Vibe, you know?

grizzop would make sense as a skybreaker, extremely lawful good and focused on justice, defending the innocent and punishing the guilty. also the idea of him being able to fly brings the chaos gremlin in me joy.

I’d make hamid a dustbringer, honestly because the description in the link above fits the narrative i’d like him to have, regarding the importance of responsibility and self-mastery as one’s destructive power grows.

cel i’m less confident on, but i think i’d go with willshaper; there’s a focus on personal freedom and self-expression, liberation from tyranny, and the order also has an association with creators. (if ppl have thoughts on this lmk because i dont have that great of a handle on cel tbh)

sidenote, skraak would definitely be a willshaper too.

azu is... difficult. i want her to have regrowth as a surge because i feel like healing is a really important thing for her, and she does kinda vibe as an edgedancer... but the stonewards’ focus on dependability and team dynamics, their refusal to bend their ideals, and even just the minor bits like interest in athletics just really fits for her, so i’d have to go with that. i guess kaladin has healing as a central part of his character without it being a surge, so... yes. stoneward. go read the description, the more i think about this the more it seems Correct.

and finally, zolf. the source of so many headaches, i do not understand this man. i can kinda see him as a windrunner, stoneward, skybreaker, or bondsmith, but i’m not confident with any of them. i would lean toward bondsmith just because both the source above and the textual evidence we have with dalinar and navani suggest that bondsmiths are hard to categorize, as far as values, other than them being leaders.

but the question of zolf brings me to a big question-- would they all be radiants? i think they would all have the potential, certainly, any one of them has enough bullshit in the backstory to have cracks that would allow a nahel bond, and enough determination to speak the first ideal and mean it. but that doesn’t mean they’d all attract/bond spren, and i havent even decided how, if at all, i’m dealing with the whole humans vs. singers thing.

(adding a readmore discussing where i see zolf going bc it’s getting long)

but, uh, here’s something rough: i think zolf would pull a baby-shallan and kill his first spren. probably, this would be a highspren; early zolf is very strongly dedicated to the idea of an unbendable truth, divine justice. and i think his point of breaking might even be similar to his questioning of poseidon in canon, because stormlight/cosmere actually engages with the question of “how does someone become a god,” and the answer is “by killing the old one” which very much would not qualify them to be an arbiter of justice in zolf’s eyes.

i think stormlight!zolf would find out that honor is dead, along with the revelation about humans being the invaders (if that’s still what’s going on in this crossover), and have a paris-equivalent breakdown about what ‘the right thing’ or ‘justice’ even mean. he wouldn’t believe in his ideals anymore, he’d ‘kill’ his spren, and that would make his spiral a lot worse.

i’m not sure what would happen from there.

it’s possible that he’d wake his highspren again by speaking a higher ideal the way kaladin does, though i’m still not perfectly clear on the mechanics of that; zolf actually does still have the dedication to punishing the guilty, he just doesn’t look for an external code as the source of justice anymore, and that’s actually consistent with some higher skybreaker ideals. but he doesn’t really vibe with the whole ‘order and codified law’ thing.

i can see him returning as a bondsmith, but in an awkward sort of situation similar to navani’s, where the spren isn’t fully comfortable with him and he’s doing it largely out of need. but also i don’t want that for him?? his turn in canon to the new source of power feels like it was good for him, and i’d want to do something equivalent, and this feels like it would be almost self-destructive.

but as i was noodling around on the orders explanation page, i noticed this in the description of bondsmiths: “Beyond that, many of the retinues that protected the Bondsmiths were considered members of the Order–going so far as to swear oaths, even though they didn’t have a spren and never would. Some even called this the most pure form of being a Radiant, because these were oaths sworn not in the name of gaining powers, but simply for the good of the oaths themselves.”

and my brain lit up at that, bc you know whose arc is about growing as a person and dedicating themselves to uniting people and leading? wilde. so i’m imagining wilde becoming a bondsmith, and zolf not bonding a new spren but swearing the first ideal in spirit because that is genuinely what he believes, and just being part of wilde’s team, keeping him safe as a regular human/maybe having some squire powers.

WELL i’ve done a lot of thinking about orders and almost none about plot or even actual character backstories, but I’ve spent a while on this. i’m very likely to come back to this because rqg is definitely my current Main Fandom and (as you can tell from the url) the cosmere is my beloved, so... yes.

#rqg #stormlight archive #crossover ask game #at this point i could still place them alongside canon stormlight characters #or have them replace them narratively #and im not sure which i would go for yet #almost certainly more to follow #if i replace ppl hamid is probably some equivalent to a kholin #...dragons are Juicy in cosmere setting though #hmmmmmm

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fluffi · 3 years

Text

SNOW-COVERED KISS :: FELIX

pairing: felix x gn!reader

genre: 70% fluff, 30% angst, barista!felix, angst subplot

word count: 2k

author’s note: hi @constellynx! you knew already, but im your secret santa! you mightve deactivated by now (which im pissed at myself for not uploading sooner) but if you havent i hope you enjoy this! have a great new year :)

warnings: mentions of getting stood up

Maybe it was the fact that it was a Friday morning and you had no classes, or that you had walked past the cute little coffee shop on the corner of Avenue street twenty times this week, and you still hadn’t bothered to check it out. Nonetheless, you had the afternoon free today, and you were planning to spend it at Little Leaf Café.

“Welcome to Little Leaf! We hope you have a wonderful time here!” Chorused voices from employees at the café echoed as you opened the door to cold air and overlapping conversations.

It was a gorgeous café, you could tell why it was so popular. Plants of various colors were placed around the area -- hung from grids on the ceiling, on tables, growing on the sides of the walls. Not to mention the festive decorations — an assortment of green and red items meticulously placed around the café.

However, there was something...rather, someone, that was way more gorgeous than the entire café.

“Hello! How can I help you today?”

You were met with an ethereal face after lining up for what felt like ages. As soon as the last heart-struck girl left, an angel entered your line of view.

The sunny boy stood across the counter with a googly smile on his face. You noticed the way his eyes crinkled upwards, and how the apples of his cheeks turned a shade of baby pink when he saw you. He had a silver mullet that looked perfectly trimmed and maintained...you were tempted to run your hands through it. However, his contrasting baritone voice caught you off guard.

In shock and nervousness of talking to new (handsome) people, you completely messed up.

“Hi...I, um, anything? I’ll get anything?” You stuttered and internally facepalmed.

You just embarrassed yourself in front of a very cute boy, but he didn’t seem to notice. Rather, he didn’t seem to mind.

“Sure, I can give you some recommendations. Right now our xmas-special Peppermint Mocha is popular, but if I’m going to be honest, it’s not one of my favorites. I would recommend the Gingerbread Spiced Coffee, but it's your call.” He leaned over the counter and whispered, looking around to make sure his boss didn’t hear him.

As he leaned over to talk to you, you were able to see him clearer. He had glowing skin and his eyes sparkled in excitement, but it made you feel calm. You felt serene and happy looking into his dazzling brown orbs.

Just then, said eyes blinked and squinted at you. That brought you down to Earth.

“Right, right! I’ll get whatever you said! The Singerbread Giced Coffee?” You nodded your head in panic before you realized what you just said.

“Uh, it's called the Gingerbread Spiced Coffee, but sure. Anything else?” He looked back at you after inputting your order with a teasing gleam in his eye.

“Nothing else. I’m sorry, I’m such a mess today!” You bowed in embarrassment and looked at your fidgeting fingers.

He chuckled. “Nothing to worry about. What’s your name?”

“Y/N. What’s yours?” You answered, before realizing that he only needed it to write your name on the plastic cup.

“Oh! I’ve never had anyone ask me my name before. It’s Felix.” He flashed another dazzling smile at you before handing you a table number.

Felix put your order on the pick up table and left to man the counter. Through your peripheral vision, however, you could catch him nervously glancing at you. Ignoring the rising butterflies in your stomach, you walked over to your reserved seat and placed your tray down.

However, as you were about to take a sip of your specially recommended drink, you glanced down and saw your receipt, with a specially written note on it.

Hi, Y/N. If you see this. Read my continued message on the serviette under your drink ;)

-felix

Your heart shuddered as you began to overthink pretty much every possibility that could happen between you and Felix. Maybe he wrote you a note to tell you that you were annoying? Maybe kind of weird? A little cuckoo? A bunch of mind-boggling thoughts started circulating your brain as you slowly flipped your serviette over.

Hi Y/N.

I know this seems like a really unconventional method, but I honestly don’t have the courage to ask someone out on a date in person hehe. Oops! I just said it...uh, would you want to go out with me on a date? I think you’re really cute and I love your personality! Also, um, you’re really pretty.

I was thinking that we can maybe meet at the 31st Bus Stop at 4pm? I have a shift till 3.30 so I could go there and meet you. We can plan everything else out later :3

If you’re already taken, that's alright! You can ignore this message. But do what you will with the information I gave you.

-felix the little leaf barista dude

Your face was in a dark shade of beet red as you looked up timidly and immediately locked eyes with Felix. You tried not to smile as you looked away and giggled shyly.

On Felix’s side, he had been staring at you ever since you took your order. When the two of you met eyes, his entire body froze, and he stopped what he was doing, dropping his half-washed cup into the sink.

“Dude, what are you doing, I- “ Bang Chan, his senior colleague and friend, followed Felix’s line of sight to you and chuckled slyly.

“In my opinion, the color of their face probably means that they’ll go out with you. Get back to work Lix, or you might not be able to see her later.” He nudged Felix’s side, prompting him to continue working. Felix looked up at Bang Chan in confusion and continued his work, still glancing at you occasionally.

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry. How can I help yo-oh. Oh.” Felix looked up at you smiling, still blessed with a tinge of pink across your cheeks.

“I should’ve given more context. Yes, I’ll go out with you tonight!” You didn’t know where you received this newfound confidence, but you were going to use all of it.

“Oh, really? That’s great! I’ll meet you there then. Be careful, okay? Can’t have you getting hurt before we have our first date.”

Once again you had melted into a puddle of nervousness. Unable to voice out anything, you nodded your head multiple times and ran out the café. Your hands were cold from the chilly season, but your heart was warm from the cute barista.

It was ten past four. You were sitting under the shade of 31st Bus Stop, fidgeting with the hem of your waistband and looking around, by yourself.

You weren’t losing hope, you were sure Felix was on his way right now. He would never stand you up, right?

Right?

Regardless, you sat on the uncomfortable metal bench in freezing weather, and you were about to text him, when…

You realized you didn’t have his phone number.

You weren’t going to go home, however. Determined Y/N was planning to wait for as long as it would take. You trusted Felix.

Forty minutes now. You had been playing some mobile games, looking out at the bustling street in front of you. During the winter season, the sun set earlier, so it was already dark and it definitely wasn’t safe for you to be alone. However, you were determined that Felix would arrive soon.

Five more minutes was what you told yourself as you stared out into the empty road, now barren of cars as the rush hour was over.

“Lee Yongbok, where do you think you’re going?”

Felix cursed under his breath and turned to Mr. Park with a small smile. “I’m done with my shift boss, I’ll get going now.”

“Felix, it's peak season right now. If you don’t remember what I told you guys during the brief meeting, I’ll say it again. From the 12th of December to the 25th of December, all of you have your shifts extended for two hours due to the influx of customers during the Christmas season. Is that so hard to understand?” Mr. Park crossed his arms and squinted at Felix.

“Mr. Park, I’ve understood that rule. I did my two-hour extension, now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be going now. I have somewhere to be.” Felix tried opening the door and walking out but was pulled back by a stronger arm grabbing his.

“Nuh-uh, young man. I’m sure that whatever event you have today isn’t going to be as important as the wellbeing of Little Leaf. Now if you’ll excuse me, do get your apron and hat back on and go back to manning the counter.” Mr. Park mocked.

Felix sighed and tried one last time at changing the mind of his horrible boss. “But Mr. Park, I swear, I did my two-hour extension, you can check the roster if you-”

“Get back to work, boy. Unless you want to start a new job in 2021.”

Felix sighed and threw his bag down, walking to the staff room to retie his apron.

Later, when Mr. Park checked the roster, he would find out that Felix did do his two-hour extension, and that he never lied.

An hour and a half, that was how long you waited. No one would ever wait for that long. No one would ever stay alone at late hours of the day, waiting for someone who probably wouldn’t even show up.

Tears stung your eyes as you sighed and stood up, huffing and smoothening your outfit out. You thought that Felix had probably stood you up. It was probably a dare, maybe he had been dared to write a generic love serviette to some desperate person who fell for his charming looks. Even then you couldn’t help but think of Felix, and tears streamed down your face as you trudged back home.

“Y/N! Y/N, wait up! Y/N, don’t leave, hear me out.” The voice you had been waiting for finally could be heard.

You stopped in your tracks and turned around to face a panting Felix. His hair was disheveled, apron still on, and his jacket was worn the wrong way round. What an entrance to a first date.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. Mr. Park honestly...he kept me for an hour more, before I convinced him to let me leave. I don’t know why, I’m so sorry. I honestly didn’t think you would be here, no one would stay that long. Please, give me another chance?” Felix took a few steps closer to you but maintained his distance. His eyes scanned yours for any response.

“I’m- I mean, it's not your fault...but you made me wait for so long. I just, I don’t know what to say. I thought you stood me up.” Your eyes watered once again.

Felix immediately waved his hands in denial and took one more step closer to you. “No, no, Y/N. I would never. I’m sorry if you thought I would ever stand you up. I should have made my way here over faster, if only I gave you my phone number. I’m so sorry-”

Your eyes suddenly widened, and you looked up. White, shimmering, pieces of ice fell upon the both of you. You stared at him in awe, mouth open wide.

It hadn’t snowed in Seoul for a long, long time. Maybe this moment was special.

Felix smiled back at you. Amidst the white rain, he took a few steps closer to you until the both of you were so close that you could...kiss.

“Y/N. I apologize. I’m sorry for being a horrible first date. Will you forgive me?” His dark chocolate orbs glanced into yours, dragging you into a new universe.

“Yes. I’ll forgive you.” You whispered, looking at the ground.

His eyes scanned yours for any sort of consolation. He didn’t even need to ask anymore. “Y/N, can I kiss you?” He quietly asked, using his pointer finger to tilt your chin upwards.

As you nodded, he leaned in and placed his lips on yours, as the both of you stood amidst the snow. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he put his around your waist and the both of you deepened the kiss.

Two lone beings, coming together as one, in the midst of a snow-struck city.

2021 © fluffi

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wri0thesley · 3 years

Text

many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!!

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3.

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest.

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof.

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!!

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’.

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring.

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_;

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(.

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess!

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that.

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!).

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

#nat.txt

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bloodycassian · 3 years

Text

A new Hope

ACOTAR - Cassian x (no gender) reader. Reader is an Illyrian trying to better the future of their people.

Cassian would not doubt that the world ending may be caused by Rhysand, once he learned of his newest relationship. Cauldron hope that Rhys would be able to explain it better than Cassian was to Rhys.

“She has a great sense of fighting ability. Rhys listen - she’s just as much of an asset as Feyre is!” He shouted as Rhys walked away.

“An asset or an ass you can look at Cass? I have tolerated quite a few of your less than admirable partners here but I will not have an Illyrian. The Three of us are enough as it is. Besides we dont even know what clan they’re from I wont-” Rhys paced at the top of the step, his anger building the more Cassian tried to persuade him.

“Rhys just meet them! Meet them and you’ll understand.” Cassian’s voice was quiet at the end, almost pleading. The high lord paused, glancing at his friend. Rhys had never known him to use that tone unless it was utterly serious. He weighed the risks in his mind. Deny his Army General a simple pleasure or risk losing valuable secrets about his home territory to possible enemy Illyrian clans? The choice was obvious in his mind, but Cassians’ persistence on the matter made him reconsider.

Rhy’s sighed, his power draining from his taut muscles. He waved a hand at his friend. “If I feel even a glimmer of note taking in their mind I will -Cassian, I will wipe it clean.” His friend’s face lit up with gratitude.

Cassian bound up the steps and clapped his high lord on the shoulder, his wings flaring with excitement. “You know not all us pure bred Illyrians are such lying assholes.”

You knew that someone would have to winnow you. The experience itself was much much different than how anyone described it. It made flying to the balcony almost impossible. Your head swam in dark spots and stars that weren’t actually there. Cassian’s warm hands righted you before you tumbled over your own feet when hitting the landing. His strong corded arms wrapped protectively around your middle, making sure you were adjusted to your feet again.

Your stomach rolled. Never from your entire life of flying had anything made you that woozy before. “I think I’m good now - lets just fly next time.” You breathed and nodded to Cassian for approval. It felt like your entire body had been squeezed into a hole and pulled out the other end.

“I had the house make breakfast-” Mor chirped as she walked in from the stairs. Food appeared on the enormous table. You turned, and vomited over the side of the balcony.

A few hours later, Cassian was beaming at you from across the table. All were laughing at a story he had just gotten done telling, and this place truly felt like a home for him. You could understand why he wanted so much better for you, for all the Illyrians. Better was possible, especially with such a forgiving high lord that was willing to help with ruling over the war camps.

“Very charming dear boy, but I believe we were here to interview your new pet.” The tiny woman at the end of the table finally spoke. Her eyes shone of a strange silver white that you had never seen before, and she did not eat. She was unsettling, and the rest of the table quieted. Amren, was her own person in the most definitive way. Cassian had warned you of her. You cleared your throat.

“I believe we have enough open minded Illyrians to begin our own camp, a new group where there are no rites, and females are not clipped.” You had practiced it in your head over and over on the days leading up to your meeting with Rhysands inner circle.

Cassian was grinning like a smug cat at the high lord and lady. Feyre could not hide her shock, and Mor took a long sip of her wine. Rhys leaned back in his chair, intrigued. “Wouldnt that mean a slaughter of these people? If the others found out. You would be painting a target on your back from the start.” No judgement, only pure questions and curiosity.

“We are trained, and are willing to shed blood if it comes to it.” You stated, willing your voice not to quaver under his questions. You could feel the power in his mere presence alone, and did not want to see it in action. You took a breath before revealing what you had been hiding until this moment. You glanced toward Cassian, who nodded in encouragement. You rolled up one of the sleeves covering the back of your hand. “I am willing to lead them.” Your dark onyx siphon glinted in the light. Utter silence coated the room, shock echoing throughout. Amren’s mouth dropped - then began beaming at you.

You rolled up the other sleeve, revealing the siphon on the opposite hand. “I am willing to protect them. We just need your help.” You stared at the high lord, who’s eyes were wide and jaw clenched. You didnt want to know what that meant. There was a soft chuckle from behind you.

Azriel was smiling wide as he stood next to you, taking your hand. “Welcome to the club. No way Rhy’s is letting you go now.”

“No winnowing. You can fly back with me or not, but I am going to vomit up that lovely dinner.” You pulled on your jacket, happy to be out of the hot seat at the table. So many questions from every angle besides Amren, who had just summoned a cup from the house and drained it.

“You’ll have to get used to it sometime. Rhys’ seems very interested in you.” He nudged your shoulder lightly, his wings flaring out - as if to taste the night breeze. “And not at all grateful to me for finding you.” He grumbled.

You rolled your eyes and stretched your arms, preparing for the long flight. You refused to stay the night, despite Feyre insisting. Nerves would probably make it impossible to sleep anyway. Not to mention the thought of sleeping in the same place as Cassian. He was… too tempting.

“Maybe we stop and camp if you’re still not feeling great.” He started for the ledge, then in a swift stride disappeared into the darkness. You glanced behind to the empty, already cleaned dining room. Magic house, must be nice. You felt a twinge of sadness as you leapt from the balcony.

A howl of adrenaline ripped through the air as Cassian hit an updraft just before the outside of the Illyrian mountain range. His heart soared, the cold wind kissing his skin and making him feel the best kind of alive. You circled with him, the soft glow of the campfires below were warm, but not inviting. You knew those fires were lit for the ones without even tents to call a home. Shame crashed through you.

Children of your kind, sleeping out in some of the most vicious winters that Prythian had to offer. It made you shudder. You had done all you could for the mothers of some of the children. For the ones willing for change. You knew that it was an uphill battle to create them a new home, but it would be worth it. It would pay off eventually.

If it worked.

Cassian banked toward you and matched your speed, his powerful wings within touching distance of yours. There was a long moment of silence between you. The wind and the rasp of your wings against your clothes the only sounds. Your face stricken, you tried to force a smile at him. “You dont have to go back, you know. We can figure something else out if you don't want to stay at the House of Wind.”

“What would that show my people?” You snapped back at him. The offer was kind, yes but Cassian might not know how bad certain camps had gotten. Especially the smaller ones. Males had begun usurping smaller villages and kicking children and females out of their own homes. That was on the good days, on the normal days there would be puddles of blood in the dirt roads the morning after the raid.

“I just mean maybe we should.. Stay out together?” Cassian trailed off. You felt your cheeks flush with color. “I mean if you want or if you dont its fine we can-” he started rambling as you descended together, landing just outside the flickering light of the village.

“You mean the great Night Cout General wants to share a tent with a war camp Illyrian?” You teased, pulling your coat tighter against the cold. The wind on the ground seemed to whip more harshly after landings. As if it was punishing you for being in its way.

Cassian boomed with laughter, “I havent heard of sharing a tent in years. I cant deny it is appealing.” He wiggled his eyebrows at you. His dark hair curled around his neck, bringing out the color in his dark cheekbones. He stepped toward you, blocking the wind. “Youre appealing.” His voice dropped to little more than a growl, his eyes were dark glancing from your lips to your eyes.

Your stomach flipped, tying knots up to your slamming heart. His wings flexed out, hands reaching for yours tentatively. The calluses on his palms were warm, and tough where a sword would lay. They matched his personality. You were ready for this. After looking at his full dark lips so long you were beyond studying the shape and curve of them. You were ready to see if they matched him as perfectly as his hands did.

A high pitched whistle sounded through the camp. Cassian groaned, his hands tightening on yours. Your eyes widened as you spied the cause of the interruption. A band of males were circling a fire, a few of them with weapons. Some with nothing more than a few scraps of clothes.

“Shit” You breathed, starting toward the group. You didnt know what you would do, but nothing would touch this village, the camp you worked so hard to preserve. You felt your siphons thrum with power. You would eviscerate them if they would not listen, you knew that much. You had hopes with this side of the village, that this would be more civilised than the south side where the fighting rings were.

Cassian grabbed your wrist before you could get farther. “I will help. Show yourself to them. Let them feel fear of the siphons. If they dont listen I can.. I will help you.” His eyes hid nothing, icy rage filled them.

You spun and kissed him, quickly. Quickly before he could pull you in, and get lost in the feeling of pure him. He faded to the shadows, the whisper of his wings the only thing telling you he was monitoring. Even facing a band of murder frenzied Illyrians, you could barely get the smile off your face.

#acotar #acotar reader insert #readerxcassian #reader x cassian #cassian #a court of thorns and roses

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mollydollyjournals · 3 years

Text

Everything feels so quiet again. I hate this about being nocturnal. At least during the day more people are around and online and I might have a little interaction. I wonder if I'll ever get my body clock to function on a 24hr schedule. Even as a child and teenager I've always had sleeping problems though. My body clock has always fought against regular timing. I definitely find it easiest when I'm actually excited to get up for something in particular, but that's not all there is to it. Besides that feels like a tall ask right now.

I've been crying a lot recently. I dont usually cry that much at all but the past month maybe, in increasing frequency, and the majority of the past few days, I'm always on the verge of or in tears. I'm on so much prozac I can sometimes feel it pushing me to just smile through it and do something, but I think my mind wins over it when it sees that my 5 minutes of positivity didnt bring luck like everyone says it will. I'm tempted to lower my dose just so I can at least be consistently sad. Part of me hopes I'd get bad enough to SH and do more noticeable stuff so someone will realise how I feel, but part of me knows that's not how itll work and I'll just do those things and feel even worse because I'm still by myself. Most of me feels guilty because that's the dramatic stereotype and nobody likes an attention seeker, but most of me also knows it's not socially acceptable to directly ask for help and support. The times I've said a thing about how bad I feel, very obviously in need of support, i havent got it. So if i did something more, i still wouldnt get it, but I'd just be bothering people even more by letting them see. But then maybe I'd actually get the balls to just end it properly and get it over with. But I also know I'm not someone who'd do something so final without exhausting all options first, which means I'd also say that more directly, and then the same issue applies.

I'm so sick of feeling like this. I feel like such a waste of space and it's the same problem where I need x to do y but I need y to get z and I need z to get x. Whenever I try to force myself to break that cycle alone, I burn out. I feel worse for the fact that I'm doing it alone. I feel like theres no point in achieving any of it if I'm still alone. I did so much growing up by myself and doing way too much and all it got me was a bit more time alive so I could watch everyone else actually live and realise how cut off i was. Last time i had a major breakdown i came out of it over time but i felt worse afterwards than before because of the fact that I'd had to deal with it alone. I felt resentful of all the people who saw me say outright on my social media 'I feel really terrible and I need support/dont think I can deal with this alone/etc' and either said nothing or just briefly acknowledged it then continued on. I didnt really get over it, I just stopped in the same way a baby learns to stop crying eventually if nobody comes. So i came out of the breakdown with the resentful and anxious feeling that i cant really rely on anyone and am truly alone.

Now I'm so much more sensitive. Of course I'm more sensitive. I'm scared this is more permanent mental shit that I wont be able to get rid of. I cant stay like this forever. I never used to be this bad. But I had some outlets at least, and some hope that it might be different at some point. Now it feels like I'm just so worn out and I need to rest and be protected but the longer I go without it the more I need and the more impossible it gets and then I feel like theres no point in trying because theres no way to fix the cycle. Not without some anime-level miracle.

All I can do is drink and hope I get distracted by something else for a while. Hope I get chatty and confident enough to send the first messages and make the first posts, hope the audience happens to be responsive. Hope I come up with some kind of idea that'll keep me busy and entertained.

There was a day a few months ago where I drank a lot over the course of a day, and I started getting really bad palpitations where my heart was stopping for a few seconds at a time and restarting painfully. It especially stopped whenever I lay down and kept still, ie when I was trying to sleep. I thought I was probably going to die in the night so I wrote out a little note on my phone just in case. But I was kind of happy about it. For whatever reason, a few friends had been online and we'd all talked a lot, and I'd had things to do, and we talked about what we were doing throughout that day, and we all screwed around and shitposted, and it was just nice. It didnt feel so much like quarantine as just long distance friends and I felt like if that was gonna be my last day then so be it.

Of course, I didnt die. It turned out my meds needed adjusting so I did that and the palpitations lessened. I kind of wish I did just die. I guess it's morose. But it would have taken the guesswork and worrying out of all this. I'm just so tired. Its not that I dont want to get better and enjoy life. I just dont know if I can. I dont know if theres too much damage been done. I was already a difficult case before the pandemic but it's really fucked me over a lot and brought up a lot of old and new insecurities and I dont know if I'm really able to make the transition to something normal and okay.

My heart palpitations are bad again right now. Today it's because of restricting food. Theres some kind of weak heart trait in my family so I've always had the occasional palpitation, but they get bad sometimes. It's not painful right now, just weak. If I breathe too deeply it loses rhythm. I keep beginning to hyperventilate from anxiety and my heart gets irregular and weird. Of course as I say that I get some pain.

I dont feel like I can eat more though. I did have a meal for dinner. Low calorie, but a meal. So my calories for today weren't super low. One thing that's always consistent about my thing with food etc is the control element. That when everything is bad, I need something to go my way, and this is all I can do. I dont know.

Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow. Probably not. But I really want to. I really need to. It only takes small things, small distractions to keep me going. If I can just survive long enough to keep at some things to change my situation, maybe I can get out of this. But if I crack, I drink and binge and do other things that make me feel worse. I dont know. I'm trying to drag myself along but I guess it doesn't look like I'm doing anything at all.

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peacedolantwins · 4 years

Text

Pain and Embarrassment pt 3

part of my family series

part 1

part 2

It had been 3 months since Ethan decided to ruin not only your relationship, but also the relationship he had with his kids. You had hardly spoken to him since you went out to California to be with your family. You had only called a few times to let him know that you would be back in time for the kids to start school in the fall.

There was so much he wanted to tell you, apologize for, but each time he tried either he couldnt find the words or you hung up before he got the chance to say anything. He had hardly talked to his kids these past months. Skylar and Connor wanted nothing to do with him. He expected as much from Connor, but Sky not wanting to talk to him hurt more than he thought it would. Everyone was handling this differently and coping the best they could.

The little girl who was his whole world from the moment she was born didnt want to talk to her dad. The one man she thought would never hurt her, the one she thought she could trust with her whole heart and would always be there was the one who just did the most damage. She couldnt understand how Ethan could have done something like this to not only you but to her family. The girl Ethan cheated with was only a few years older than she was and she couldnt help but think about all the times she had been to his office and had conversations with this woman. She felt like she had a part to play in this for not seeing it.

Connor not wanting to talk to him hurt in a different way than the rest. Ethan knew he could try and patch up his relationship with the other kids but it felt like there was nothing left to try and fix with Connor. He was gone all the time overseas, he had limited communication and he only came home once in a blue moon. There was no way he could try and sit down with his son unless Connor allowed it and he severely doubted that was going to happen anytime soon. Ethan knew that you were Connors whole world, you could do no wrong in his eyes and he practically worshiped the ground you walked on and while the other kids would tease him about being a mamas boy, Ethan was proud his son was so protective of you. However, this is when it seems to have backfired on him because as soon as he lost you he should have known he’d lose his son too.

Alex and Riley were understandably upset with him. They spoke to him a few times just to call and check in and let Ethan know they were okay. While they havent forgiven him, they wanted to try and move on. He was their dad, and while that doesnt give him a pass for what he did, they love him.

Noah, always looking up to Connor, followed in his big brothers steps and decided he didnt want to talk to Ethan at all. The only times Ethan managed to get Noah on the phone was when you forced him to because while Ethan hurt you, you werent going to cut him off from his own children as much as you might have wanted to. The few conversations he had with his son were short and to the point. Simple answers, he wouldnt talk about anything and Noah always kept the calls under five minutes, almost as if he had a timer running in the background and the dial tone was the alarm that let Ethan know his time was up.

Elise was the only one who would talk to him. She knew something was wrong, she knew he cheated but she didnt completely understand it and what it meant. She knew you were upset with Ethan but she only saw it as another fight that the two of you had and that you would all be okay once everyone said sorry. She missed her dad. She told you as much and she asked when you would be going back home.

And then there was you. You were trying to figure out what all of this meant for you. The relationship you had with Ethan was ruined, you knew that much for sure. But were you going to go back to New Jersey? Still live with the man who cheated on you in your own house? In your own bed? Part of you wanted to try and fix this, if not for you then for your kids. But was this something that could be fixed? You didnt think this was.

At first you were hurt when you found out. Why would your husband do this? Why would he go out and cheat repeatedly while you were home and suspected nothing? Was it something that you did that drove him to this other woman? Was it because you lost the baby? It was something that you two had argued about before and according to Ethan, the timeline matched up.

But the more you thought about it, while you were still hurt, you were angry now. None of this was your fault. You were not responsible for your cheating husband under any circumstances. He made his own choices freely and that wasnt on you. He was the one who messed up and ruined what you two had. Once you had realized all of this you were finally able to start moving on.

You still wanted answers from Ethan, but the answers wouldnt change anything. Your marriage was over, but hearing his explanation would help give you the closure you needed.

It was now August and the kids would be starting school in a few weeks so it was time to head back to Jersey. The twins had decided to do online school, not wanting to deal with their classmates and you respected that choice. You felt they were old enough to make that choice for themselves. You had asked Noah if he wanted to do the same but he was very much against it because that meant he would be home more often with Ethan and he would much rather deal with kids at school then spend more time with his cheating father. Lizzy however was excited to go back to school because that meant she got to see her friends again and spend time with her dad who she hasnt seen all summer.

You had already talked to Grayson about picking you up from the airport and taking the kids with him for a few hours. You wanted to be able to talk to Ethan alone first without the kids being there in case things got heated between you two. They didnt need to listen to the possible yelling. And Grayson was more than happy to get to spend some time with his niece and nephew. He dropped you off with all the luggage back at the house you shared with Ethan and left with the kids.

You took a breath and dragged the bags up the porch and into the house and left them by the stairs. The kids could use unpacking as an excuse not to talk to Ethan if they wanted to. You were debating about where to take your things when Ethan came in from the living room.

“Hey,” he said hesitantly.

“Hi,” you didnt know what else to say.

“I, uh, I moved to one of the guest rooms so you can take our room,” Ethan rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“No, I’ll take one of the rooms.” There was no way you were willingly sleeping in the same bed he had sex with that girl in. He made his bed, now he can lay in it. Literally.

Ethan seemed to have come to the same realization and simply nodded.

“You cut your hair,” he motioned to your hair that was now just above your shoulders.

“Yeah, heard you had a thing for girls with long hair,” you replied and pushed your hair back behind your ear, not seeing him flinch at your words. Your long hair had reminded you of the girl with waist long hair he cheated with and you cut yours as soon as you could.

“Y/n,” you could see the pain in his eyes at your remark. Good. He had no right to be the one who hurt.

“What?” What was there to say?

“Are we seriously going to start this now?” He has gone from apologetic to now annoyed.

“I’m not starting anything, you did that when you couldn’t keep it in your pants,” you pointed out.

“Y/n, I’m sorry okay? I’m sorry I cheated, it was a mistake.”

“A mistake? Ethan, a mistake is putting a red shirt with the white clothes. A mistake is forgetting to pick up something from the store. A mistake is something you can forgive. A mistake is an accident. You don’t accidentally have sex with someone over and over again. You did that knowing what the consequences would be and you did it anyway! You don’t get to stand there and tell me this was a mistake!” You were shouting at this point but you didn’t care.

“You know the sad thing is that maybe, just maybe, I could have forgiven the first time. Maybe it would have been something we could fix. But this? This is so broken there’s nothing left to fix.”

“No, no, we can work through this. We can, I don’t know, go to counseling or something, but Y/n please,” he wasn’t going to let this end. He couldn’t.

“I want a divorce.” You said simply and took out the folder of documents that had to be signed.

“Y/n,” he said quietly.

“Please don’t fight me on this. After what you put me through it’s the least you can give me. Don’t make this harder than it has to be. We don’t need to waste money on lawyers. Sign it and we can move on.” You held out the folder to him.

“I’m not going to sign that,” he took a step back from the offending papers.

“Ethan please.”

“No.”

“Why not? Ethan this marriage is over. There’s nothing left here, not after this. You clearly didn’t care about us when you decided to cheat on me so just sign the damn papers!” You shoved the folder to his chest only for it to fall to the ground when he failed to catch it.

“No! Because once I sign this that means we’re done. That means that you’re gone and I’ll have nothing left! I’ll lose you completely and call me selfish but I don’t want that! I want to fix this Y/n, please.” Ethan looked close to tears at this point. He knew he fucked up but he didn’t think you would bring up divorce this soon and he definitely wasn’t expecting you to have the papers with you as soon as you came home.

“Well I don’t! Would you forgive me if I had an affair? If I slept with someone I worked with over and over again? If I went public about it before I told you? If I brought this person into our bed for over a year?”

Silence.

“I didn’t think so. And I wouldn’t expect you to forgive something like that. So please don’t ask the same of me.” You pleaded with him.

“You expect me not to fight for my family? Y/n, you and the kids are my whole world. And I’m so sorry that I fucked it all up. But if you think I’m going to just let you walk out of my life without a fight you’re wrong.”

You let out a deep breath and walked over to the couch closest to you and sat down. Ethan moved to sit across from you, still leaving the folder on the floor. A small part of you wondered if his mistress sat on this same couch that your kids would spend hours on or if he kept her limited to your bed.

“Ethan I’m tired. I’m so fucking tired. I’m not gonna change my mind on this so please don’t drag it out longer than it needs to be. I appreciate that you want to fight for this relationship but it’s useless. I’m sorry but I am not going to sit here and let you think there’s a chance of forgetting what happened because there’s not.” Why give him a flicker of hope when there was none?

“So what? You’re just gonna go? Take the kids with you? They’re my kids too.” If Ethan couldn’t fight for you anymore there wasn’t a chance in hell he wasn’t going to fight for his children.

“I never said I was leaving. Or that I was going to take them. Despite all of this, I don’t want to split up this family. The kids don’t deserve that and as their mother it’s my job to take care of them regardless of what happened and how I feel. They come first. Always.” You could be civil with Ethan but things were never going to be the same.

“I would still live here, in another room obviously. Think of it as having a roommate who you just happen to be raising children with.”

“You’ve thought it through havent you?” You could see the defeat starting to take over his features.

“I have.” You nodded. “We’ve all been through enough. We don’t need more change. And if this is something we can’t live with, we cross that bridge when we get to it and figure out what to do then. I don’t want to split up this family if I don’t have to, but Ethan I need you to sign the papers. I can’t let myself be legally bound to you after all of this. I just can’t.”

Ethan seemed to accept this. He didn’t look thrilled about it but he seemed to understand.

“I still want a lawyer to go over it before I sign it,” he said it so quietly you almost didn’t hear him.

“Of course. Thank you,” you were glad he was agreeing to it.

You got up to go into one of the guest rooms that would now be yours when you heard him call your name.

“Y/n?”

“Hm?” You stopped and turned.

“Are we ever going to be okay?” He looked up at you from where he still sat on the couch.

Would you? You hadn’t really thought that far ahead about the situation.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I hope we can eventually, for what it’s worth. But it’s going to take time.”

Ethan simply nodded at your response.

You grabbed your luggage from where you left it at the stairs and dragged it off to your new room. Everything might still be broken but that’s all it is. Broken. It can be fixed over time but the scars and cracks will always be there. Only time will make this whole thing fade away.

@pgm-dolan @dolandolll @dolanshellyes @mysecretsaremydemons @mmmmmgd @ethandolxns @dolantwinsfavss@knee-deep-in-feels @godlydolans @dolanstwintuesday @sarcasm-at-its-finest2444 @fandomsfeministsandothershit @graydolan12 @ilsolee @inlovewithethandolan @someonedoingnothing @vintagebitttch @sunshinedolantwins @chonisberonica @ardordolan @ethantasy @wasabisama331 @graysavant @atlas-of-a-human-soul @wolfpuppii009 @livexdolan if you wanna be added/want me to stop tagging you just let me know

also pls comment/like/reblog it makes me feel better about myself and gives the validation i desperately crave thank you

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molusca · 3 years

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she apologized for how she handled the situation and apologized for brushing off someone's honest criticisms as hate. what more is she meant to do? throw herself onto a pyre? is she not allowed to feel lousy that this whole thing blew up in her face? because she's an adult and she made a mistake, she's not allowed to be sad or stressed? she's still an imperfect human. apologizing immediately usually means people are still sensitive to their own hurt of being called out because it's fresh and on their mind so it tends to slip into their apology, but if she had waited any longer to compose herself, you guys would probably have an issue with how long she took. also, in aaaaaallll of this, I've have yet to once see what exactly about her work is so problematic? I've read her fic and I personally can't see anything wrong, although I will admit that yes, I'm a white ciswoman but I'd like to think I'm aware of negative tropes. but the only thing touted is "it made an mlm uncomfortable" but HOW??? honestly, I want to know! if anything so I can avoid doing the same thing! how is anyone meant to learn when you're not bringing up these points as often as you're explicitly laying out the problems in her apology and whatnot. I've seen 6 posts about how shit the apology was and for why and I've not once seen the original comment detailing why the fic was problematic, and I've been looking on twit, tumblr, insta, and ao3. if it's been deleted, why isn't anyone stating again and again what's wrong? also, if someone is making fic/art you don't like, don't. interact. with. it. there's tons of stuff on ao3 and twit that I don't like, some of it that I think is disgusting (do you know how many fics there are with keith/kosmos?) and I just scroll past it cause it can't hurt me if I don't read it. there's one artist that's pretty popular on Twitter and I personally really hate they way they draw klance but it's all over my tl. I respect that person's art style and creativeness and keep on moving. other people enjoy it, good for them. and if I start reading something and get surprised with something I dont like, I leave! find people who write things you like and stop engaging with creators who's things you don't like, as far as I know no one is holding a gun to your head making you read problematic fic. also for as much as you rag on her for the words she used to apologize, you don't seem to be considering your own words when offering criticism. if Taylor mistook the person's words as hate, couldn't it have been because the way he worded the complaint was done hatefully? lastly, no one, absolutely no one, is required to talk about world issues when they're running a fandom account,no matter how "big" they are. we all know what's going on in the world, we're surrounded by sad and stressful stories practically 24/7 and if someone isn't, they're probably curating their social feeds to be that way (like you should do when it come to kl content creators you don't like). people sending hate in Taylor's defense are in the wrong I agree, and this isn't hate its critism its a discussion, but Taylor isn't responsible for, how many people did you say? 16k on twit? even if she said hey guys stop, you think they would? she's can't control all those people and expecting her to is nonsense. I see so many younger fans expecting perfection in their fandoms and that just isn't going to happen. yes we should be striving to be better but no one is ever going to be perfect. not you, not me, not the mlm person, not Taylor, not anyone on any side of this argument. the only way to avoid this kind of circular dog piling and hate sending is to better curate your fandom experience by ignore those you have issues with.- 🦛

she apologized for how she handled the situation and apologized for brushing off someone's honest criticisms as hate. what more is she meant to do?

im pretty sure i said its good that she realizes she handled it poorly. but she makes the whole apology about this, doesnt directly talk about the issues and i know someone went to her to talk about it. also, it took her a day to say something about it so it wasnt exactly immediate (in the sense people had already stopped talking about it but that doesnt mean they werent still bothered). the apology was directed at mlm, and i havent seen one saying it felt genuine. of couse she can be hurt but when you apologize to a marginalized group the focus shouldnt be your feelings, but the feelings of the ones you have hurt.

I've have yet to once see what exactly about her work is so problematic?

she admits to be projecting on lance. so she makes him very femine and keith very masculine. and ok, gay couples like that do exist, but she is a woman projecting in this situation so this bothers people. putting mlm in this position is a harmful steriotype, bc it feels very heterosexual. this is a trope, it unfortunately happens a lot and its harmful. women need to be aware of what they are representing when drawing/writing mlm because well, real mlm are going to see it, and no one likes to feel like a fetish to others. and its not our place to question if the criticism is right or wrong when we are not mlm, so if you read this and think “but thats not a problem thats not a fetish etc” well, its not your place to judge that. theres more to it and you probably could get a better answer from a mlm sorry.

if someone is making fic/art you don't like, don't. interact. with. it. there's tons of stuff on ao3 and twit that I don't like, some of it that I think is disgusting (do you know how many fics there are with keith/kosmos?) and I just scroll past it cause it can't hurt me if I don't read it.

please, lets not compare a minority pointing out harmful tropes with. something fucking illegal.

as you said, you are a cis woman, of course its not going to hurt you in this case. but if people are making harmful content its not a simple matter of “dont interact with it” because they will still be promoting it, other people are going to read it, and media influences how we see minorities so of course people will not like when they see bad portrayal of them. also, tumblr sucks so even if you want to just “dont interact with it” its hard because even after blocking you can still cross the content of someone. not sure how it works on twitter but anyway this discussion started on tumblr and tumblr doesnt stop people who were bothered by her to avoid her by blocking.

if Taylor mistook the person's words as hate, couldn't it have been because the way he worded the complaint was done hatefully?

i think she deleted the ask by now, but i dont remember the ask being hateful. i remember someone asking if she was a fujoshi, and another person mentioned that mlm didnt like the way she portrayals klance. i dont remember it being hateful. but again, she apologized for handling it badly. its just that she stops there.

no one, absolutely no one, is required to talk about world issues when they're running a fandom account,no matter how "big" they are. we all know what's going on in the world, we're surrounded by sad and stressful stories practically 24/7 and if someone isn't, they're probably curating their social feeds to be that way

ignoring world issues is a privilege. if someone is able to turn off from all the problems in the world, its a privilige. yes no one should talk aobut it all the time thats not even healthy, but to never talk about it is a privilege. thats what black people are saying, they cant just turn off from racism, so yes they are going to expect white people to do something. online honestly i cant do shit, i dont think anything i reblog here does a difference and i do what i can in my own country, but she has a plataform that could help bring awareness. again, its a privilege to be able to curate your social media to be a perfect happy place.

even if she said hey guys stop, you think they would? she's can't control all those people and expecting her to is nonsense.

maybe they wouldnt, but if people were doing this type of thing in my name, in my defense, i would at least say something about it idk. she cant control them but she makes nothing to show that she disagrees or look for the people being harassed to say something about it.

the only way to avoid this kind of circular dog piling and hate sending is to better curate your fandom experience by ignore those you have issues with.

when it comes to simple things like “i prefer taller lance and i dont like taller keith” yeah, its fine to ignore people who draw taller keith and move on with your life or something like that. but we are talking about mlm, a real group of people, being upset for being portrayed in a harmful and steriotype way. its everywhere in fandom, and in real life. they cant escape from real life, and then they come to fandom where everyone wants some escapism and have to deal with more issues. its tiring

#well. good morning #anon

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