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#maybe i shouldn't tag it this anymore. lol. anyway

sarah-sandwich-writes · 3 months

Note

HOLD ON WAIT UP HOLD THE PHONE

I KNOW I WAS GONE FOR A FEW MONTHS THERE BUT HAS BLUE LIKE DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME ALWAYS BEEN A PART OF A SERIES OR IS THAT A NEW DEVELOPMENT???

I FEEL LIKE ITS CHRISTMAS ALL OVER AGAIN FUCK Y E A H

Okay so

I...

have been cooking

by which I mean illusions of grandeur and

schemes

And I have not been forthcoming lol Everyone kind of disappeared all at the same time so I kind of stopped talking about what I'm doing but I have been biding my time, quietly putting mechanisms into motion and plotting and occasionally cackling over my cauldron.

I finished the first draft of Blue like don't forget about me and didn't like it so I cut out all the sci-fi fantasy stuff (bye bye aliens farewell superpowers) and in November wrote a new first draft that's all contemporary romance babeee and I'm so in love with it I'm turning it into a little 3-part (possibly 4 if I can't control myself) series.

The original childhood years have been split off into a prequel novella called Red like my bleeding heart in your hand. Then Blue like don't forget about me will take place 20 years later. Nash works at Cherished Hope Nursing Home

“And what is it you do? At the nursing home, I mean.” I wipe shit off of old people. And Teddy’s a hockey player. What’s Luke, an underwear model? He shouldn’t have come.

Teddy comes back to town for a funeral and

Teddy looks at him for the first time in twenty years and every ounce of warmth leaves his expression. Message received. He should not have come.

OKAY SO AND THEN the next book will be Jo's POV and is called Violet like these delights. and MAYBE there will be a 4th from Luke's POV bc he gets to live this time by the grace of god (me) but it'll depend on how Violet goes (its current state is mostly vibes and a single overarching theme so, stand by).

Red needs a clean-up round of edits to snip out the few little threads that connected it to OG blue. And rewritten blue is basically done. I've done the major revisions and am about to start line edits and after those are done I'm sending it out to beta readers (lmk if you're interested).

There are concise actual summaries in my pinned post btw lol

WHICH REMINDS ME

The series title is Wildflowers of Deliverance. Which I'm extremely proud of. Did you notice did you notice how each title incorporates a wildflower did you did you? and the town they grew up in where Nash and Teddy first met is called Deliverance!!! It's okay I know I'm a genius.

And this brings us to the meal okay? because like I said I've been Cooking™ quietly but steadily for a few months now. ANd what have I been cooking? PLOTS and PLANS

I've decided on a pen name: Sarah B. Elisa

I've created a(nother) side blog for it that will be exclusively centered on my og writing and geared more toward readers rather than writers like this blog is: @sarahbe-writing

I'm going to create a website (as soon as I convince myself to spend money)

and a newsletter (as soon as I convince myself to spend money and do work)

I'm still waffling between trad publishing and DIY. I really like all my hats and it would be a shame to have to share them but oh my god I don't want to do all the marketing but trad pub seems hit or miss on how well they market you so I might get half of my hats taken away and still have to do the marketing bullshit UGH

anyway

OH YEAH and the OG draft I wrote for Blue? I'm going to spin it back to its OG OG roots [parkner, naturally--Return of The childhood friends to estranged almost lovers to super-powered rivals to reluctant allies to friends to lovers finally wip!!! AKA: We Were Gods (we were kids)] and that will fix all the things that went wrong and I didn't like 😌 so it's basically like double Christmas I think

#i have been #a tad reluctant to use the tag list #since because I scrapped the whole plot and genre and started over #feels like a teensie bit of a betrayal?#so idk i think i need to make a post (way fucking shorter than this one) and tag everyone and see who still wants to be tagged in stuff?#or maybe im close enough to the finish line i shouldn't do tag list stuff anymore? I'm kind of wary of oversharing bc #i totally did before #and the word count is smaller now #and there aren't like Plot Twists #it's a romance we all know how this is gonna end #so idk that's mostly why i've been quiet like haha what should i say and to who?#But anyway this weekend I'm going to get my shit together and put up some posts and get the ball rolling again #share some excerpts #get people excited #put out a call for beta and sensitivity readers #you know. work lol #also i missed you and i'm glad you're back <3333 #my notes were sooooo quiet lol #and i don't just mean on my writing stuff i love seeing all of your tags in my activity like Yay that's my friend!! And they're yellin!!!#we love to see it <3 #anyway #:)

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jj-one · 6 days

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𝑪𝑹𝑨𝒁𝒀, 𝑺𝑻𝑼𝑷𝑰𝑫, 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 🎬 ⋅˚₊ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

PT. 1 / please read part 1 before continuing, this won’t make sense as a stand alone !

The model life has never crossed your mind but the moment Jungkook laid his eyes on you he knew you were perfect. He was willing to go great lengths to get you on board, even developing a connection with you that could ultimately lead to one of you getting hurt.

── ✧ ˚. ꒰ pairing ꒱ ˒˓ modeling scout!jungkook ˒˓ model!f!reader ˒˓ strangers to enemies to lovers, jk is in his early 30's and reader is early 20's genre/tags. angst, (some) fluff, a lot of smut, cheating, mentions of past trauma, small mentions of alcohol and drug usage, mentions of y/n crying, themes of anxiety and depictions of panic attacks, oral (m & f receiving), katoptronophilia, daddy kink, public sex, you give jk road head lol, piv, unprotected sex (we should know by now that this is wrong!), left y’all with a bad cliffhanger yet again lmao i can’t help it words. 14.6k

A blank stare is met with you from your confrontation. The man who you thought you knew, was now standing over you with the most dumbfounded look.

“Wh�� what do you mean, y/n?” Jungkook asks, arching his brows in confusion, you wished it was easier for you to handle this.

As much as you envisioned yourself doing so, you couldn’t seem to bring yourself to face the man in front of you. Your flight or fight instincts were starting to kick you into flight mode since you didn’t have much fight left within you. What’s the point anymore? It was only going to end in disaster anyway, as most do your attempts at finding happiness do.

“I really think you should just leave now Jungkook…” your voice trails off as you look at the ground, unable to bear him a clear answer to your sudden awkward behavior. That voicemail of his wife kept replaying in your head, you wanted to breakdown and cry, the woman sounded so sweet and was probably such a good wife to him. Though, you don’t know for certain what goes on behind the scenes, she seemed like a nice person, it just made you feel more shameful. You felt awful for possibly being a home-wrecker now, and it’s only making you want him out of your sight even more.

“But what do you mean by the truth? Talk to me y/n, I would never lie to you I-”

You cut him off instantly, snapping at him for the last line, which was obviously another blatant lie. “Please get the fuck out and just let me process this or it’s going to get really ugly!”

You didn’t mean to growl at him like that at the end, turning more hostile by the second, but you were practically at your wits end with him right now. The constant lying was just too much, you don’t even know what the truth is anymore.

“I’ll go, but can you at least just tell me what I did wrong this time? I’m so confused by you y/n, why are you always like this?” He was so clueless and unfazed of the fact that you didn’t even know his biggest secret, it made you want to scream at him more.

“Why am I like this? Why are you like this?! Do you not foster a guilty conscience at all? You should feel sick for cheating on your wife!” You couldn’t hold it in anymore, there’s no going back from this and now he’s forced to come clean.

Once finally addressing the elephant in the room the air was filled with complete, utter silence. His more collected and calm demeanor instantly shifts from before, pausing for a moment and breaks his steady eye contact with you. You knew immediately once you drop that information he wouldn’t be able to face you with such confidence.

“How…did you…even figure that out?” The look on his face was priceless as his dirty laundry has been finally aired out. His mouth wide open with shock, his body tensed up from the panic settling in, already knowing how bad this situation could ensue.

“You shouldn't leave your phone lying around, idiot.” You point to his phone that’s still on the ground, “maybe take it in the shower with you next time, you cheating liar!”

“W-wait back up, you went through my phone? That’s not cool y/n!” Jungkook’s face was beet red from embarrassment and now yours was too. You both got called out for doing bad things but his ‘bad thing’ is much more extreme and serious than yours will ever be.

“She called you like eight fucking times, I thought it could’ve been one of your clients or something!”

Jungkook kept pacing around your room still in disbelief of it all, the only word he could muster up was a simple “wow…” His silence was saying a lot right now and from the looks of it he wasn’t going to give you much further explanation. Even so, it wouldn’t be enough for you to forgive him, he’s not only hurt you but his innocent wife, that’s unforgivable in your eyes.

“I want you out of my apartment now!” Raising your voice several more octaves, you open your bedroom door to let him freely walk out but he tries one last time in attempt to plead with you.

“Please, y/n I can explain if you let me..”

“What the fuck is there to explain?” You scoff, annoyed by his efforts, “the explanation is already right there!”

“I’m going to be fully honest with you now, okay? I’ve been with my wife for 3 and a half years and it’s probably been the worst mistake of my life. My parents basically forced me into this marriage to begin with. I didn’t have much of a choice, I never loved her— I don’t even know why I ended up stayed for this long. I’m trying to get a divorce soon, i’m filing the papers next week and we’re technically already separated as I’ve told her many, many times how this isn’t going to work. At this point it’s strictly for appearances that we’re still “together” …she’s an actress so I need to make sure I don’t ruin her public image with a messy divorce or any bad scandals.” He finishes his explanation and you were now even taken more aback by everything.

How come just didn’t say any of this beforehand? It would’ve saved him a lot of trouble than just waiting for you to find out, because even the sneakiest people have to face their consequences eventually. You don’t know the whole gravity of the situation nor how much say he had in this marriage but him talking so casually about divorcing his wife wasn’t sitting right with you. You didn’t fully understand everything but one thing you knew for sure was that he’s the world’s biggest liar. From the moment you met Jungkook he has been doing nothing but lying and keeping this giant secret from you. It didn’t matter how complex it was, the fact that he couldn’t just be up front about his relationship status made you more angry, made you feel more stupid for falling for him. You were definitely not someone with the highest moral compass and you probably wouldn’t have judged him had he have been honest, maybe you’d save yourself the pain and not have slept him— but now that more feelings are involved, you feel trapped.

“You truly disgust me, that’s really all I have left to say.” Once again attempting to kick the man out of your apartment but he begs you to hear him out, holding the door in place to eventually shut it closed behind him.

“Look, I know how bad this sounds and you have every right to be angry with me y/n, but everything’s just so…complicated right now..” He reluctantly continues, “I do regret you had to find out this way, but as I said before I don’t love her anymore— if I ever did honestly. I’d just like to move on… possibly with you once everything gets finalized.”

You’re unsure to believe if Jungkook really does have genuine feelings for you or if you’re just another one of his many pawns. If he was capable of lying to you for so long then pretty much anything else was on the table.

“Jungkook, do you not realize how shitty I feel for doing all of this? This was all practically my fault, if I didn’t invite you over this would’ve never happened and I—”

“Absolutely none of this is your fault y/n? All the blame is on me, you don’t owe her any loyalty. I’m the one who made the decision at the end of the day. I’m sorry for not telling you, I just didn’t know how to bring it up…which is why I kept denying my feelings to deter you from even trying to pursue me, I really tried to keep it strictly business but you were making it so hard for me to resist.”

It all made sense to you now. Those moments he’d act like a complete jerk to you for no reason, those were the times he wanted you the most. It’s crazy to think that his plan would actually end up having the opposite effect on you, but you do tend to gravitate towards toxic behaviors because that’s all you knew for most of your life.

“Is this what you were so scared of?” You ask, finally mustering up the courage to face him once again, “I’m an understanding person, I wouldn’t have judged if you told me... I just don’t appreciate you lying to me, please promise to never do that again.”

Jungkook takes both your hands in the palms of his, slowly parting his lips to speak, “I won’t lie to you again y/n, I promise. You have my every word on that.” He solemnly swears, you really wanted to believe what he was saying but you felt indifferent. There was still a heavy, cinder block weight on your shoulders.

“Also…we kinda have a shoot in less than 5 hours and we really need to get going soon.” Jungkook changes the subject to work now, you almost completely forgot that this man was still your modeling agent and boss.

“Fuck.. I really have to do a shoot today?!” You were definitely not in the mood to see or interact with anyone. You wanted to keep talking to Jungkook about where you both stand, the more clarity you get the better, but work is starting to interfere with this now.

Simply sighing and nodding your head to his pleas for you to go through with this shoot, you grab a few things quickly to leave your apartment with him.

A raging headache was beginning to induce your brain. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to how bright these vanity lights on the mirror are. To keep you somewhat relaxed you close your eyes while the person styling your hair puts tiny strands in neat sections. Your mind kept racing and all you could think about was your earlier confrontation with Jungkook. You haven’t seen him since you got here, your phone was dead because your idiotic self forgot to charge it last night and now had no one to talk to. Everything about this situation was eating you up from the inside and it was becoming even harder to act completely normal.

When your hair was done a new stylist came in to do your makeup, they brought a huge makeup kit and started with your brows. This was your life now, sitting in a chair like an achromatic robot for hours on end getting the most tedious things done after the next. You weren’t the best at sitting still for long periods of time and this job consisted of mostly that/being on your feet all day, it was tiring but you had to remain focused.

Jungkook was now making you take classes to perfect your model walk since he wants you to partake in this fashion show for his new campaign. He wants you to be the opening for the show but you were really nervous about that idea, you don’t like all the attention drawn on you. You’ve never pictured yourself being on a stage in front of loads of people, let alone the most important fashion moguls in the industry— it was never your vision but Jungkook had other plans for you.

He would always say how someone as beautiful as you deserved to be seen on billboards, front covers of magazines, and so much more. He actually believed in you, more than anyone else did in your entire life and that’s why you continued to stay with him. He knows exactly how to make you feel adored, like you’re the only person in the whole world.

When the makeup artist was finally finished with your look, another person came in. This time however, it was your new favorite person from work to see you now. It was see your personal stylist Yeonjun who came walking through the door, meeting you with open arms to give him a big hug. You were glad to finally see one of your work friends since you didn’t have very many, you mostly talked to Yeonjun or Jungkook if you needed something. Yeonjun had bright pink hair now and it surprisingly suited him really well, you complimented his new look and he flashed you the sweetest smile.

“Thanks my dear, how’ve you been y/n?” He cheerfully asks, taking a few garments off some racks and setting them aside.

“I’ve been alright…I guess I just have a lot on my mind right now.” You admit, hoping he’d take the bait by asking you what’s wrong.

To no surprise, he follows up your response with “what’s on your mind hun?” And gives you his full undivided attention.

It wouldn’t take long for you to spill everything, you had to at least tell someone else to get an outside perspective. The tears were slowly rolling down your cheeks as you finished your story, quickly wiping them away so you don’t ruin the stylist’s hard work on your makeup, waiting for Yeonjun to react. You look up at his face and he looked in complete shock since he probably wasn’t expecting to hear this at all.

“Well this is messy as hell, I mean— you haven’t even been a model for 2 weeks and you’re already sleeping with your boss? No wonder he doesn’t let anyone around you!” He playfully jokes, “but in all seriousness, this is kind of insane. I personally wouldn’t know what to do if I was in your position…”

You appreciated his honesty. You know your situation wasn’t quite easy and the more entangled you got, the more messy it becomes. You have your own selfish reasons for wanting to stay with Jungkook too. You wanted to see how far this modeling career could actually take you, thinking about your life before and after you met Jungkook. Before him, you were working at a convenience store, living off below minimum wage, and close to getting evicted with no place to go but after you met him all of those things seemingly went away in an instant. The only downside of this situation was that the man you were slowly falling in love with was married and had a family. That’s the part you can’t ignore and it crushed you deep inside, but the outweighing factors were starting to make you want to turn a blind eye.

“We can talk more about this later y/n, but we really have to get you in these clothes so that you make it in time on set, plus I’m not trying to get yelled at.” Yeonjun politely expressed, he knows how much you’re not feeling up to all this but his motivating attitude helps you get through it.

You huff, “okay, fine.”

The dress you were wearing was a size way too small for you, it was digging so deep into your rib cage you felt like you were going to faint at any moment. The dress was insanely beautiful but it made you barely even able to sit down properly. The mini dress you had on was a dark red, velvet material, it was striped with floral accents, ruffles lined the hem and the sleeves were puffy with lettuce trim. You wore black see-through stockings with knee high 5-inch stiletto boots and the pain shooting from the back of your feet was excruciating. Though the outfit was absolutely stunning you were beyond uncomfortable, you had no idea how you were going to walk in this on set.

“Yeonjun this dress is cutting off my circulation…” you tell him while standing awkwardly, wanting to get this dress off of you immediately.

“It’s just for a photoshoot y/n, it may not be the most comfortable but it’ll only last for 20 minutes I believe in you!” He gives you a mini pep talk to help you through your discomfort and it slightly puts you at ease to fake it until you make it.

You know that this was the price of becoming a model and sometimes pain is the cost of beauty, you just have to suck it up for now and get it over with. Trying to walk in a straight line was a task in itself since the back of your heels kept jabbing into your skin, you know you’re going to get a crazy blister after this. Yeonjun holds your hand to help you balance yourself and you felt more embarrassed that he had to help keep you from falling.

“This is not what I signed up for when I thought I’d be doing this…” you say while walking carefully to the other studio.

“I’m sure none of us do love,” Yeonjun’s face scrunched as he chuckles, making your way over to the set where everyone else was now.

The set was full of people, everyone had a designated job to do something. All the models were lined up at the front waiting for their turn for photos to be taken while multiple photographers took shots of others models in the center. There were more models in the corner getting touch ups, staff handing out water bottles and refreshments, directors giving instructions, the whole thing was an orderly chaos. Once you got to the front, you were told by a director to stand in the line next to all the other models and wait for your photos to be taken. You sigh heavily as you head up to all the women who were now all looking at you.

Some of them didn’t look very friendly, you felt as though you were being silently judged. You were the new girl and no one even knew who you were. Your thoughts went racing again as before, you were feeling like you didn’t deserve to be here. These women looked way more qualified to do this job than you, you were so amazed at how gorgeous everyone looked. You know you’ll have to get used to it eventually since you’ll practically be around beautiful people your entire career.

You hear a familiar voice on the set and you finally see Jungkook since the morning you had both left.

“I thought we agreed that we were going to get the bigger piano for this shoot? Why am I still seeing the same ones from before?!”

“Sorry boss, but you told us that it was too out of budget so we-”

“For fucks sake, I don’t give a shit about the budget anymore, this looks cheap and tacky, we can’t have this. Call the call guy up to bring the bigger one, NOW!” He continues his tirade, “also, why is y/n in the back? I told you as soon as she arrives she needs to be placed first!” He comes up to you and puts his hands on your shoulders, you tensed up immediately from his minor touch.

No one else in here besides the two of you know what happened last night and the awkwardness of it all is killing you inside. He was acting as if everything was completely normal and it kind of infuriated you. Jungkook places you to the front of the line and all the other models watch as he took your hand in his. You could just feel the eyes being glued on you, if looks could kill you’d be in a coffin, six feet under by now. Some of the other models sneered at you while you simply walked to the front to wait for your photos to be taken.

When it was now your time to go Jungkook politely asks you to come sit on a chair. You try your best to sit as comfortably as you can in this tight dress but you feel even more suffocated from sitting down. All you could do in this moment was simply hope for the best.

“Sit with your legs crossed y/n,” Jungkook positions you to do a pose for the photographer and you comply. You cross your legs and do a natural pose with your arms, the photographer snaps a photo immediately. The constant flash of the camera lights were giving you another headache, this job is so exhausting. Jungkook spoke to you in such a soft tone when instructing you to pose, he’s usually a very stern and sometimes vindictive boss with most people, but with you he’s the most gentle person. He almost babies you in a way, he treats you differently because he knows how fragile you are. It felt much longer than 20 minutes like Yeonjun said, but once you were done you got up instantly to feel like you can somewhat breathe again. All you can think about is getting out of these uncomfortable but beautiful clothes.

“You did such a great job as always y/n, so perfect. Thank you!” The photographer compliments you once he’s done.

“Isn’t she just amazing?” Jungkook chimes in, “I can’t believe I discovered her, such a rare gem in today’s society.” He looked at you with such pride, he took pride in all of his achievements but this one meant more to him. You were flustered by Jungkook’s comment in front of the photographer, if only he knew why he thought you were so amazing. Jungkook hands you a water bottle and you take it from his hands thanking him politely. A part of you was still angry with him but you knew it wasn’t worth being petty over right now. You didn’t want to throw off the vibe in front of all these people so it was best to pretend as if there’s nothing going on between you two. You were about to leave so you can head back to your dressing room and take these clothes off but Jungkook slips a piece of paper in your hand behind your back. He mumbled something under his breath but you couldn’t understand it, looking at the crumbled note with messy handwriting in black ink:

‘Meet me upstairs in the dressing rooms in 5’

You look up and Jungkook was already gone. You were now left alone in a room full of people, you know why he wants you there but the fact he did this so blatantly was beyond you. Making sure no one was suspicious of you, you make your way up the stairs to go to the dressing rooms. It didn’t take long for you to reach your destination, Jungkook was already waiting for you inside. You slam the door behind you and now standing in front of him again but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him this time. The tension between you two felt different now that you were alone again, all professionalism out the door.

“I know what you brought me here for but we still need to talk and-”

Jungkook cuts you off, “what else is there to talk about y/n? I’ve already told you everything. I don’t know what more you want from me, I brought you up here to make up for my behavior.”

“I don’t want to fuck you this dressing room right no-”

He cuts you off once again, “who said anything about fucking? Baby you have no idea. Come sit, just relax for me sweetie.”

He motions for you to sit down and you reluctantly do so. The tightness of the dress was becoming worse once you sat down again, you groaned from the life being sucked out of you.

“I just want these damn clothes off of me already, can you please help me?” You ask, in dire need to breathe properly again.

Jungkook nods, coming up behind you to unzip the dress and you feel instant relief from finally being out of it. You sigh as you feel your body coming back to normal, the dress was now fully unzipped, feeling a rush of cool air from the fan coming in contact with your bare skin. You slide the dress off including your stockings and kick off those uncomfortable heels you were wearing. You were now sitting in the chair with nothing other than your tiny g-string, that small excuse of fabric was barely covering your lower region. You wanted to blush from embarrassment but Jungkook was staring at you hungrily, as if he wants to devour your existence. You cover your chest with your hands but Jungkook chuckles at that.

“Don’t be shy with me now babe, acting like I’ve never seen you naked before, give me a fucking break y/n.”

He traces his fingertips down your shoulders, lightly drawing circles along your delicate skin. His warm breath tingled against you as he got closer, the tension in the air was so thick, you could cut it with a steak knife.

“I’ve watched you touch yourself in front of me, you can be such a good girl for me when you want to be.” He whispers in your ear softly.

You tremble from his words, consumed by his touch, and all the filthy things he says to you makes your mind go blank within seconds. He drags his fingers down to your stomach, tracing more invisible lines on your body. The fact he was still fully clothed and you were the one under him, fully exposed, ready for him to do whatever he wanted made you even more nervous. You never know what this man’s intentions are with you.

“Will you be a good girl for me right now while I go down on you? You have to stay as quiet as possible for me or else there will be consequences princess.”

You don’t know what those consequences will be, but you simply nod your head. You turn into the perfect submissive when you’re alone with Jungkook, you do any and everything he says with no hesitation. You like to think you would never fall to a man’s beck and call but for Jungkook, you’d risk it all. His light touches kept going as he brought a hand to your inner thigh, kneading at your flesh. His hands played with the thin string of your thong, he takes the front of it and pulls at the fabric then flings it back like a slingshot. You squeal from the contact on your cunt, making you flinch a little. He does it a few more times, flinging it back and toying with you. The evil smirk on his face said it all, he was playing a little game with you. The string of the thong was now jammed in between your pussy lips, the sight of it made Jungkook smack his lips together. He wanted you so bad but teasing you was way more fun.

“You have such a pretty cunt babygirl,” he expresses in a sultry tone, “I’m going to take all the time I need with you, princess.”

He plays some more with the g-string and you close your eyes from the sensation, opening your legs wider for him to get a better view.

“No, keep your eyes open and look into the mirror behind me, you take your eyes off of it once and I’ll make sure to punish you so bad you won’t be able to walk again.”

You open your eyes instantly, looking over at the mirror in front of you and seeing Jungkook on his knees being eye level with your dripping cunt.

“Will you promise to be a good girl for daddy?” He asks sternly.

“Yes, I promise daddy I will!”

“Then say it.”

“I’ll be a good girl for daddy, I promise I’ll be good!” You plead with him.

He gives you a little smirk and his eyes were dark like they were last night. The only thing on his mind right now was ruining you completely.

He brings his face closer to your heat, his lips were close to it you could feel his breath sweep against you. He slides the sad excuse of fabric to the side and draws a single digit into your wetness. A small moan comes out of you and he looks up with a glaring eye, making you cover your mouth so you can stop yourself from going further.

“Be quiet…” he says, bringing another finger to his lips for you to stay silent.

He continues dragging his finger up and down your slit, rubbing your slick all over to create even more a mess. He couldn’t stop looking at the way your cunt was glistening and as much as he wanted to keep teasing you, he also wanted to dive his face in. He brings his tongue to your slit, starting with small kitten licks, your body trembles just by the slightest amount of stimulation. He drags his tongue slowly, coming in contact with your clit and lightly sucks on it. You keep your eyes on the mirror like Jungkook instructed you to, the pornographic sight was enough to make you want to cum. You had your legs spread out wide for him, holding your thighs to keep them in place as he eats you out.

The feeling of his tongue gliding against your clit left you with a million tingles down your spine. He nestles his face deeper into your cunt and his nose brushed up against your sensitive bundle of nerves, drenching his whole face with your wetness. The task of keeping quiet was only growing to become more difficult as his pace grew quicker. Jungkook’s mouth felt like heaven and the reflection of him on his knees for you was making you go insanely feral. He licks a long stripe against your cunt in the slowest motion, his eyes looking at you the entirety of it which only made you want to moan out for him. You bite your lip down heavily enough to draw a tiny amount of blood, really trying your best to be good for him as possible.

“You’re being such a good girl for me baby,” Jungkook praises while still looking up at you, “I knew you could do it, you’re a smart girl.” He continues his assault on your clit and his tongue flicks against it faster. You want to moan out his name but you don’t want know what the consequences will be, plus you don’t want anyone to know that you’re getting it on with the man who’s supposed to be in charge of you. You’re stuck in a daze from all the pleasure he was giving you, tangling your fingers in his long fluffy hair to feel more of him. His face was now completely buried inside you, you weren’t sure if he was even breathing properly but you didn’t hear any complaining from his end.

He laps up all your wetness with his mouth as he works his tongue deep into your cunt, you almost cry out from the feeling in your core. You seal your lips tighter in order not to make a sound, your heavy breathing was the only audible noise coming from you— besides the sounds of your juices being mixed with Jungkook’s tongue of course. You kept tugging on his hair making it messier as you continue watching him through the mirror. His tongue going back to your clit to abuse it some more, you could feel your high approaching any minute now. Your body jerks from the over stimulation and you want to scream but you end up pulling strands of his hair harder.

“You gonna cum for me princess?” He takes a moment to catch some air, “I want you to cum for daddy, can you do that for me?”

You simply nod your head, focusing on your climax and almost shut your eyes, but you remember you have to keep them open. You really do your best to try and look at him but it was all too much for you, you wanted to pass away and let the pleasure wash over you like a typhoon. He circles your clit with his tongue one more time as you cover your mouth again to stop you from moaning out load. You can feel your release coming as you chase your high, your eyes were still open surprisingly as you watched Jungkook keep himself between your legs. Your legs violently shake as you cum, the creamy substance now dripping out beautifully against his tongue. He licks your slate clean as all your cum is gone and he licks up the rest of your essence on your thighs.

“Such a good girl for me.” Jungkook says, now smiling with pride after he’s made you cum. He gets up from being on the floor and his face was completely wet, he glanced over at the mirror and noticed immediately. He licked his lips and chuckled at his appearance, his hair was a complete, disheveled mess and the neckline of his shirt was lined with sweat. You giggle from the effect you had on him, he was the one putting in all the work yet came out looking completely ruined too.

“Let’s get you in some different clothes and head back before people start noticing I disappeared, I’m sure everyone is wondering where I ran off to,” Jungkook takes a random blouse and skirt off of a rack and hands it to you, “just wear this then meet me back on set, you know we have that rehearsal later as well so I’ll call you and pick you up at 8.”

You nod your head and take the clothes from him, you had a fully packed schedule this whole week and you didn’t realize how busy your life was going to become. You used to have more free time to go out and hang with friends but ever since you got this modeling gig you barely talked to any of them. Your phone was still dead and you have no idea if anyone’s been trying to communicate with you. You aren’t the type to change your whole personality because of a new guy in your life but Jungkook was showing you a different side of the world, a part of the world you knew absolutely nothing about. All you could do was continue to have a levelheaded mindset and hope that it won’t eventually change you into something you aren’t.

It felt lonely coming back to your apartment without Jungkook. He had to finish up some work at the studio so he couldn’t drive you home, he had one of his staff chauffeur you back. You had your own car but Jungkook didn’t want you driving unless you really had to, he didn’t like having you do more work than you already do. You called your landlord to confirm if you were still going to be evicted and he told you no, that someone named Mr. Jeon called him and told him that he would be your guarantor and all your bills can go directly to him. Your jaw almost hit the floor once he said that, you really couldn’t believe your biggest problem you’ve been dealing with has been resolved in such an instant. You were baffled at his behavior yet grateful since now you didn’t really have anything to worry about. Well, besides the fact that you’re now Jungkook’s mistress and he’s pretty much helping you build your entire career. You would usually never accept handouts from people, let alone help you pay your own rent, this was a new side of you only he could bring out. You had no idea you were capable of doing anything like this.

You rest your head in your hands as you sit on your bed to think about all the events leading up to your life right now. One tiny interaction was all it took to completely change your life and you’re not even sure if it’s for the better. Your phone was finally turned back on from being dead all day and you check your missed notifications. You got a call from your best friend Sakura and she texted you asking if you were okay, you haven’t talked to her since the day you went off on her about her taking “accountability” speech.

You decide to call her back since you really wanted to update her on everything and get her opinion. You call her but it immediately goes straight to voicemail so you call it again but the same thing happens. You get confused by this so you send her a message to tell her to answer her phone however the message becomes green instead of blue once you press send. Your heart sinks into the pit of your stomach now, you know that this could only mean one thing. Your own best friend blocked your number. You felt so betrayed right now, the person who was supposed to stick by your side through everything decides to cut you off and not even give you a chance at closure. You felt sick and you didn’t even know what to do. The only thing you could think of was to start bursting into tears. You couldn’t believe she would do something like this to you, after all you’ve been through together it just felt like a slap in the face.

Your tears kept coming and you couldn’t stop rocking yourself to calm you down. You felt entire your whole body shake as your breathing slowly become irregular. You were a sobbing mess and now you were feeling like a panic attack was about to arise. You couldn’t contain all your emotions, everything coming at you all at once made you feel so small and anxious. You felt utterly helpless, alone, so trapped, you could feel your airways closing from the tightness, only wheezing and coughing in response.

Your phone vibrated as a call notification pops up, it was Jungkook. You don’t answer it because you were in the middle of a full blown panic attack and you couldn’t mutter a single word at this moment. You were growing dizzy and kept gasping for air, it truly felt as though you were dying right now. You try to get up from your bed but your body grew weak, your limbs felt fluid as you tried to move. Your phone kept buzzing but the sounds were starting to feel like it was coming from underwater. Everything around you was a blur and you remember nothing else besides your eyes slowly falling shut.

You woke up laying on the floor of your room next to your bed, your head was pounding as if you had just drank too much alcohol. You get up to look around and everything was the same, nothing was thrown around or out of place. Now getting up and recovering from your panic attack, you breathe deeply and exhale to calm your anxious nerves. Your phone was still on the bed and you realize you’ve been on the floor for about half an hour. Jungkook called you about 4 times, he also texted you asking you what you were doing. It was almost 7 o’clock and you didn’t have much time to get ready for this rehearsal tonight. You call Jungkook back and he answers immediately,

“Y/n! Where have you been?” He says, sounding pretty concerned.

“I- I’m sorry I just wasn’t feeling too well…” you refrain from going any further in order not to worry him.

“Is something wrong? Did something happen y/n? I’ll be over there soon and we can talk about it if you wan-”

“No, it’s okay Jungkook, I actually don’t want to talk about it. Just pick me up at the normal time.”

“Okay, if that’s what you want. I’ll pick you up later then I guess…”

You hang up and let out a sigh, you didn’t even want to tell him about your situation with Sakura, it was unnecessary drama for him anyway. You have to get into work mode so you try to forget about it and take a shower. You felt like an empty shell of a person, just numb to everything and although you are incredibly hurt, you have to shield that from the rest of the world.

A black Porsche waits for you in your driveway. Jungkook comes out of the car and opens the door for you to get in the passenger side. You did your best to try and act normal, you really didn’t want him to notice anything off with you.

“You okay babe?” He asks anyway, you know he always does this to make sure you really are okay. He thought maybe it was just the stress of it all getting to you but you had another problem to deal with.

“Yes Kook, I’m fine can we just drive?” You tell him, wanting nothing but this conversation to be over with.

“I’m just making sure you’re alright, no need to bite my head off all the time y/n.” He retorts, he has good intentions behind him asking but you always find it slightly annoying when he does. Maybe because you never really had someone constantly ask if you were okay, it was usually the opposite, no one ever cared how you felt. Just like how your own “best friend” decides to block you and shut you out her life without taking your feelings into consideration. It hurt you so bad. All those emotions came flooding through you again and you felt your lips tremble. You try and snap out of your moment so you don’t cry in front Jungkook like you always do, you have to remain strong this time. You thought of anything to distract you but nothing seemed to be working, then one of the most unthinkable decisions came to your mind.

“Jungkook, do you have any cigarettes on you?” You ask him quietly, for some reason all you could think of to relieve your stress was smoking.

He looked at you as if you were confessing to a murder, never did he think those words would come out of your mouth.

“Um… yeah but I thought you said those were cancer sticks and I’m cutting my life by a year each time I smoke?”

“I mean yeah that is true, but I’m really stressed right now I just want to try one.”

“That’s what I said when I was 14 and look at me now,” he says ironically, “I don’t want to be the reason for you getting hooked on these.”

“I’m not going to become an addict! Just let me try one dammit!” You were growing frustrated with his attempts in getting you to stop but once you make your mind about something you’ll want to do it in the end.

“What’s gotten into you lately y/n? Is this is my fault? I’ll try harder to be a better influence for you if I can.”

You roll your eyes, “I don’t need you to influence me to do anything, this has nothing to do with you. I just want to relieve some stress!”

“There are so many other ways you can relieve stress than slowly killing yourself y/n…”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know… you could have sex?” He proposes, “with me of course.”

“How can we have sex right now if you’re driving? Dumbass.”

“Hey, don’t call me that! I was just giving a suggestion…plus you know there’s other things you can do besides penetration.”

You giggle at his usage of the word “penetration”, you were so immature that it made him laugh too.

“So you want me to give you road head?” You say to him innocently, you like to see him get all worked up from you acting cute.

“I mean, if you want… yeah. Have you ever done something like this before?”

“Yeah kinda, the car wasn’t moving though!” You now turn your body completely to face him in the driver’s seat. You smile up at him with seductive eyes, watching as he sneaks glances at you while he drives, making your way closer to him. You lean over and stare at his stiff erection through his pants, rubbing your hand over it as you palm him in your grasp. He winces a bit at that and you can tell just by any touch you give him his whole body feels like it’s set on fire. You weren’t a big teaser unlike Jungkook, so you waste no time in unbuckling his belt and unzipping his jeans to free his cock from the confines of his boxers. You look at the beautiful man’s pretty pink dick standing tall in front of you, licking your lips at the sight. His veiny cock was throbbing in your tiny hand, tip already leaking out with delicious precum. You slowly press your mouth against the tip, keeping it there for a bit to get a little taste of him. You then swirl your tongue lightly around it, loving the salty tanginess of his precum against your tongue.

“Fuck princess… you feel so good around me already,” he bit his lip harshly, gripping the steering wheel even harder.

You wrap your mouth tighter around his length as you begin to slide your head down. Bobbing it back and forth and keeping a tight suction on his cock, making sure not to use any teeth. You feel Jungkook’s hips jolt up from the sensation as you draw more saliva from your mouth, making it as messy as possible. He let out a loud groan when his dick hit the back of your throat, you didn’t choke or gag once which surprised him. You don’t have a gag reflex which is ultimately perfect for giving head, you’re not really sure how you got so blessed with this talent. You take all of him completely in your mouth, swallowing him whole as you keep bobbing your head. The way he filled you up felt so good, nothing could compare to having Jungkook’s cock in your mouth.

“That’s my good girl, keep going— just like that baby— ahh….” He keeps encouraging you, giving you small praises here and there. He does his best to keep his eyes on the road but the way you’re sucking him is taking him to different universe. Your free hand rested on his right thigh as you continued throwing your head back, stroking his cock with your pretty, talented mouth. He elicits more moans and it only makes you want to make him cum faster.

Jungkook bit his lip even harder, trying so hard not to crash this vehicle, he breathes in and out the best way he can. He could feel himself cumming soon and his whole body tenses up like he’s got a volcano erupting inside him.

“I think I’m gonna cum… damn baby…”

You couldn’t say anything since his cock was buried 7 inches deep down your throat. The only thing on your mind right now was getting him to cum inside your mouth. You hum as you pick up your pace, deepthroating him aggressively. There was so much saliva everywhere, your face was flushed and you seriously looked such a mess. A beautiful mess, just for Jungkook. You feel his hard length throb against in your mouth and a warm sensation hits the back of your throat. White ropes of his cum releases into you and you swallow it immediately, you look up at him as you take all his cum. His cum tastes so good, you were so sad when he emptied all of it. You pull away and kiss the tip of his cock before you go up to his face and give him a quick kiss on the lips. He flashes a soft smile at you and you gave a warm smile back. He quickly zips his pants back up with one hand and you help fix his belt for him.

“See, wasn’t that much better than smoking a cigarette?” He says proudly, you hate to admit he was right but at least he prevented you from doing irreversible damage to your body.

“I guess..” you shrug nonchalantly, “it was alright.”

“Well that blowjob you gave me was more than just an alright,” he happily boasts. You probably made his whole year with what you did.

“Does your wife suck your dick as good as I do?” You tease him, you don’t even know why you would say that but the look on his face turned sour.

“Why are you even bringing her up? This doesn’t have jackshit to do with her,” he says almost annoyed, “but yes, you do. Just don’t bring her up again please.”

You struck a nerve with that one, you wanted to keep egging him on but now probably isn’t a good time. You simply let it go and sit back in your seat quietly. You know why he gets so defensive about the subject but it just baffles you how he does it yet doesn’t bat at eye about cheating on her. It makes you feel so guilty you keep doing this but Jungkook really does make you happy, it’s a double edged sword.

“I’m sorry if I upset you y/n” he says, “I just really prefer not to talk about her, especially when I’m with you. I pretty much forget she exists when we’re together.”

You smiled but you still felt broken on the inside, you feel so bad for Soyeon, his wife doesn’t deserve any of this at all, no matter the circumstances. However, you don’t know her personally so it is true that you didn’t owe her any loyalty, it was just a principle/morality thing. You were thinking about how crushed she will probably be once she finds out Jungkook is divorcing her, if she ever found you were in the picture all hell could break loose.

“Will she ever find out?” You couldn’t help but ask, you don’t know how long he’d able to keep this secret from her for.

“No, I’d like to keep it that way. I don’t care if you told your friends about me, knowing you they already know by now. But if it gets out, I’ll be so angry with you y/n, I seriously wouldn’t know what to do.”

You were silent, you know he was dead serious when he said that. You didn’t get the chance to tell anyone besides Yeonjun and he’s not the type to go around telling everyone your business. You had nothing to worry about yet his words still cut deep.

“I didn’t tell anyone Jungkook…” you fidget with your hands and look out the window, you feel like you’ve been in this car for ages.

“When are we finally getting to the rehearsal oh my god, feels like I’ve been in this damn car forever!” You complain to him like a child throwing a tantrum.

“Calm down, we’ll be there in like 2 minutes. It’s kinda far from where we live,” he turns up a corner and drives into a large parking lot with lots of other cars parked there. He stops the car and gets out to open the door for you, you step out the car and he holds your hand in his. You were a little confused since Jungkook doesn’t like to show PDA in public but you go with it anyway.

You head into the historic looking building, as soon as you stepped in you felt claustrophobic. There were people everywhere. Hundreds of models scattered the venue, everyone all dolled up or being in the process of it. The speakers blared loud, catchy pop music as you made your way through the crowds of people. Jungkook was still holding onto you to make sure you wouldn’t get lost, you held onto him tightly since you were feeling anxious.

People kept coming up to him and greeting him, he was still holding your hand the entire time, you were receiving vicious looks from some of the models. You felt all eyes on you and you weren’t even dressed up, you had the most normal clothes on, nothing fancy. You felt like such a peasant around everyone but you soon won’t be once you get dressed up. Jungkook takes you to a private area where there was no one else around. He tells you to stay put while he goes to get one of the staff to do your makeup and hair for the rehearsal.

“I’ll be in the conference room, it’s the door on the right next to that bathroom down the hall. If you need me just knock or text me and I’ll come to you. See you in an hour doll,” he gives you a chaste kiss before leaving out.

You were now left alone, waiting for someone else to come in. You hear some light laughter from outside the door, overhearing some girls talking to each other.

“You noticed that new girl? I don’t even know her name she’s so irrelevant, but have you seen the way she acts? So snobby.” One of the girls spoke.

“Oh I think I know who you’re talking about, the one who follows around Jungkook like a lost puppy all the time?” Another girl chimes in.

“Yeah her. She seems likes such an entitled bitch, you would think she’s fucking him by the way she’s attached to that man like a magnet!”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they actually are. Some girls have no shame and will do anything to get to the top.”

“I know right? And doesn’t he have a wife too? That would be so disgusting of her.”

You couldn’t listen anymore, you knew they were talking exactly about you. Your biggest fear came into fruition now, everyone thinks you slept your way to the top and it doesn’t help that Jungkook treats you with blatant favoritism. It’s only a matter of time before people start talking and rumors about you sleeping together will spread like wildfire. This industry thrives on gossip, it won’t take long for something like to start getting around. You worry even more about the outcome but before you could think of anything else, the makeup and hairstylist comes in to do their job. You sigh as you weren’t sure what to do now, you don’t want to text Jungkook and tell him the other models are talking shit about you incase he asks who. You have no idea who even said it since you only heard their voices, it could be literally anyone.

Sitting back in the chair, the makeup artist was applying glittery eyeshadow while the hairstylist blows out your hair. You try and relax while everything gets done but you couldn’t stop fidgeting.

“Can you stop twitching your eye like that?” The makeup artist asks you politely, you felt so bad that you couldn’t conceal your movement. You tried hard to sit still and keep a straight face but it was much harder than it looked.

Once you were finally done and the makeup and hair stylists were satisfied with the look, you study yourself in the mirror to assess your new appearance. Your hair was super big and poofy, almost like the hairstyles from the 80’s, your lips were accented with red lipstick and you felt like a movie star in this get up. You looked so different yet it suited you well, you looked like the most gorgeous version of yourself you could be. You thanked them for making you look so beautiful and you couldn’t stop touching hair but the hair stylist told you not to.

“Yeonjun will be there with your change of clothes soon, thanks for your time!” The makeup artist says to you as they both walk out.

A pink haired man appears in the room and you can see Yeonjun’s whole demeanor shift from earlier. He looked either exhausted, annoyed, or both. You wonder what’s on his mind so you ask him how he’s feeling. He lets out a deep sigh and regains his composure, “sorry if I seem a little off today, I got in a tiny argument with my boyfriend and just— ugh he’s really pissing me off right now!”

You giggle at his attitude, he doesn’t talk about his outside life with you much and you know he has a boyfriend but everything seemed fine whenever he would talk about him.

“Do you want to talk about it? If not, it’s totally okay I understand. Men are just the worst in general,” you say in support for your friend.

“It’s just he’s always complaining about me being busy with work and I try to make time for him when I can! It just seems like it’s never enough for him…”

You sympathize with him as you remember the many times you had with your exes when they’d get mad at you for not spending enough time with them. You know the feeling but you do your best not to talk about yourself and just focus on consoling your friend.

“I totally get it. I can see where you’re coming from and I can also see his side as well. Maybe he just gets jealous easily? I mean you do work with attractive people all day, maybe if you reassure him that you only care about him and your work life shouldn’t interfere with your relationship.”

You couldn’t believe you gave such sound advice to someone. You articulated yourself well and got straight to the point, you mentally give yourself a pat on the back.

“Thanks y/n, I realize that I probably don’t tell him enough everyday that I love him, I just assume he already knows that but I guess it’s nice to say y’know?”

You nod in agreement. You were glad that you could help Yeonjun feel better and his mood became more upbeat. You felt good that he was comfortable enough to be vulnerable with you and it only made your friendship stronger. Maybe Yeonjun will be your new best friend, forget Sakura.

“I know you weren’t comfortable with the last outfit so I brought a different dress this time,” he says, bringing the dress over to you and you were in awe of what was in front of you. You couldn’t believe you were about to wear something this stunning, the dress reached all the way to the floor, it looked like something straight off someone from the Met Gala.

The gown was structured beautifully, it was a royal purple color with lots of layers to it. The top was a bustier bodice with a deep v-neckline, the waist was corset-like, it had tulle mesh bell sleeves with 3D butterfly accents all over and the bottom had a puffy ballgown style with more tulle underneath.

Once you got in the dress you felt like a real princess in her castle. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to how amazing you always look when you’re in model mode. The corset cinched your waist in so perfectly, giving you the sexiest hourglass figure. Everything about you just became one hundred times better, you couldn’t get enough of how insanely hot you looked.

“I look so damn good, wow! I can’t even recognize myself.” You say to Yeonjun, not taking your eyes off your pretty reflection.

“You always look great y/n, but I must admit you become spicier when you’re all dressed up!” He says, giving you the much needed compliments you deserve.

You now had to go back out into the real world, back where all the other models that despised you will be. You take a deep breath as you open the door to make your way back out and it was still complete chaos. You don’t see Jungkook anywhere and Yeonjun told you to go to the room where the rehearsal will be held. You hope to God that Jungkook will be there since you have no idea what you’re doing.

You had to get through so many people just to make it across the other side, you kept feeling all the stares on you and you couldn’t stop thinking about what those girls were saying about you earlier. It really upset you that people had already prejudged you for simply existing, they knew nothing about you yet already thought you were a bitch. It’s not a good feeling to know that others around you don’t like you but to hear it yourself was one thing.

You eventually make it to the rehearsal room and you were met with one of the backstage managers to instruct you where to go. You go behind the curtain and head backstage to where all the other models were, again the room was chaotic yet in a functional way. A stylist comes up to you to check over your look and fine tune some things about your hair and makeup. You still didn’t see Jungkook anywhere and it was starting to worry you.

You decide to text him and ask him where he was, he texts you a few seconds later and tells you he’s in the bathroom but he’s at the rehearsal. You feel your whole body relax when you read that, at least he will be here with you any minute now.

You feel a hand sneak up behind you to tap your shoulder, you turn around instantly and you’re met face to face with Jungkook.

“There you are!” You say to him happily, he was the only person you needed to see right now.

“Hey gorgeous,” he says with a huge grin on his face, “whoever did your look I need to give them a raise because wow you are smoking hot!”

You blush at him flirting with you, unsure of how to react since he was saying this in front of so many people. The fact he just casually flirts with you in front the models makes you feel even more self conscious about what was said about you earlier.

“Thanks Kook..” you say shyly, trying not make it so obvious that you’re practically in love with this man.

Jungkook couldn’t keep his eyes off you though and it was only making your body temperature rise to boiling levels. If there weren’t so many people here you would’ve been making out with him by now.

You were trying to play it cool as one of the models came up to Jungkook.

“Hey Jungkook, I was wondering if you were free after this? I could really use a massage, I’ve been working so hard latelyy,” the blonde woman confidently waltzed in between, you were in utter disbelief by the way she just asked that so casually. You know she has no idea who you are but it still felt like a huge slap in the face. Jungkook wasn’t really paying attention to her and was still looking over at you, he chuckled at her advance but before he could even get a word out you spoke for him.

“Actually he’s busy tonight!” You bark at her in a harsh tone, you know you shouldn’t have butted in the conversation but you couldn’t help being protective over him. He was yours.

“I don’t think I was talking to you was I?” The girl snarks back at you, “I said Jungkook, not whatever the hell your name is.”

“Her name is y/n. Also thanks for the offer Somi but I think I’ll pass.” Jungkook says, shutting her down completely.

“Oh, well then let me know if you change your mind!” Somi tries in attempt to safe herself from the embarrassment.

“I won’t.” Jungkook mutters under his breath. You feel like Somi heard it by the way she did a double take and glared at him with evil eyes. You couldn’t help but laugh at the whole ordeal, it was sad how some of these girls threw themselves at any chance to be with Jungkook. You didn’t have to do any of this to even get him to pay attention to you, he was the one that chased after you the whole time. It made you feel special that you had that effect on him, it was like once he saw you he had tunnel vision.

“Are we good to go boss?” One of the directors asks Jungkook before the rehearsal starts and he nods his head. The director whistles loudly to get everyone’s attention as they stop what they were doing to listen. He instructs all the models to line up and get into single file, you were the first in line since you were the opening of the show and it made you even more nervous. You knew this had to be absolutely perfect for Jungkook, you couldn’t make any minor mistakes or else you’ll disappoint him. You couldn’t let him down so you took a deep breath as you wait for the director to queue the music. Once the music turns on and you go into work mode and relax yourself. You think about all the things you learned in your modeling courses so far and how they taught you to exude confidence as you walk. You make your way down the aisle and place your hands on your hips like the director instructed you to do so.

Keeping your posture as straight as possible, you take long strides down the stage with your feet balanced in a straight line. Your facial expression was natural yet you kept a strong gaze, you wanted your eyes to do all the talking. You let everything flow naturally as you kept walking, reaching the end of the stage you stop then make a pivot to the right and give a slight pose. You turn around and do the same thing you did as before, taking long strides and keeping the energy up. You walk back to the curtains and you felt so accomplished with what you just did. It was if the whole world meant nothing to you in that moment, the lights didn’t give you a headache, the people in the crowd didn’t bother you, you felt immensely proud of yourself. The stilettos you were wearing were so tall and had the thinnest heel but you got through it anyway, it amazed you how far you’ve come already.

You watch as another model steps on stage now, you’re actually glad that you were the first one since now everything was done and over with. You’d have more time to feel anxious about it and become more stressed out if you waited in the line longer. Jungkook finds you and comes up to you clapping his hands in amusement from what he saw from you, his smile was everything you needed to know that he was immensely proud of you.

“Such an amazing job out there y/n, you killed it. You’re such a natural born talent, I swear you’re going to change my life!” He says out loud, he always praised you as if you were God’s greatest gift to earth and it made you melt each and every time.

“Thank you so much Jungkook,” you say to him while going in for a hug and he hugs you back instantly. He goes one step further to even pick you up and twirl you around like a little doll, he put you down and you couldn’t stop giggling. Everyone in the room was looking at two, it was so obvious that the other models were jealous they didn’t even try to hide it. One of the girls muttered “get a room” as they walked by and you heard it. You were now blushing from embarrassment and Jungkook looks around too to make everyone stop staring at you.

He whispers something in your ear “don’t worry about these girls, they’re harmless. If they even try to start shit with you I’ll handle it.”

You nod and just watch as Jungkook leaves you again to go check on the rehearsal.

As the rehearsal comes to an end, everything starts to wind down. Jungkook was talking a bunch of staff and other people while you waited patiently for him to finish so you could go home. You were now out of the fancy designer clothes but you still felt pretty with your hair and makeup. Jungkook couldn’t stop sneaking glances at you from time to time while talking to them, he just loved looking at you. You were the most precious little angel to him and he wanted to protect you with everything he had.

When he finishes talking he heads over to you finally. You were so ready to go home and you felt completely exhausted by the whole day.

“Is it time to go now Kook?” You ask impatiently, you couldn’t wait to get your much needed rest.

“Actually y/n, there’s an after party that I have to attend. I was hoping you’d come along since I could really use the company,” he says, gently rubbing the palms of your hands with his fingers.

“Do you really have to go to it? I’m usually all for a night out but I just been doing stuff all day and I’m so tired! Please, just stay in this once?” You plead as you make a cute pout with your lips, you know the pouting always works with him.

“I really can’t…I just don’t want to let all my colleagues down if I don’t show up since it is my campaign after at all..”

“So what? They can still have a good time without you there, they don’t need you to survive Jungkook!” You practically beg, praying that he finally gives in.

“Actually they kinda do because most of them are on my pay roll— you know what that’s not the point. You’re right y/n, I’ll just tell them I had to take care of something.”

Your face lights up at his response, you were glad that you were able to get through to him. You grab his hand to leave but he tells you he has to say his fellow goodbyes to everyone before he gets going. You groan as you watch him walk away yet again to go say his farewells to everyone for the night.

When he finishes doing that you both are finally able to leave the venue and get back into the car.

“Is this another car you have?” Asking him curiously, you’ve been wondering since he pulled up to your house with it.

“Yeah, I own a couple.”

“Oh that’s cool, how many?”

“A lot.” He chuckles from his own answer, you glare at him since you genuinely wanted to know and now it was going to drive you crazy.

“Why do you want one of them? I’ll gladly give you one that I barely use,” he sincerely offers.

First he gives you a high paying job, then he pays your rent, now he’s practically offering you a car. You’re starting to think that maybe Jungkook is the sugar daddy of your dreams, yet he’s not even some gross old man that’s lonely. You felt like the luckiest girl in the world to have someone like him, just able to sweep all your problems away with no issue. It wasn’t even about the material things, it was just the fact that he went out of his way to constantly take care of you. You never had someone in your life so nurturing towards you, your own family didn’t even treat you this way. You had so many feelings for him that you couldn’t contain it anymore, you just had to say it.

“I think I’m in love with you.” You blurt out, you didn’t expect to actually say it.

“Because I’ll give you a car? That’s kinda shallow don’t you think?” He jokes with you.

“No- oh my God shut up. I mean in general Jungkook, I’m really falling in love with you and I don’t know what to do…”

“Well there’s really nothing to do. I’m also really in love with you which is why I would do anything for you.” He admits.

You wanted to cry at what he said. His voice sounded so soft, so sweet, everything he was saying to you was like music to your ears. You couldn’t let him say that without asking for something in return though.

“If you really loved me, you will file this divorce quickly so I won’t have to deal with this much longer..” you say in hopes that he’ll consider doing it.

“I will. I have the papers signed on my end but I’ve just been meaning to give them to her…”

“Do it tomorrow! I don’t like sleeping with married people, it makes me feel dirty.” You say while crossing your arms and pouting again.

He reassures everything will be fine, “I’ll try my best for you y/n.”

Jungkook was saying all the right things but still, you felt so unsure about his actions. You have no idea what Jungkook and Soyeon’s marriage is like, he’s never told you a single thing about her besides being an actress. All this curiosity was going to keep you up at night and the guilt would only grow more intense.

You were at Jungkook’s place sitting on his couch while he made you both some food. You were watching a cartoon on his 98” flat TV and all the colors and effects were even more captivating on the giant screen. You see Jungkook from the corner of your eye now walking up to you with the food. He made you some soup with chicken and it smelled really good. You take the bowl from him and place the spoon into your mouth, surprised by how delicious the soup was.

“This is so good, wow I didn’t know you could cook!” You continue eating your soup and he smiles at your approval.

“My friends don’t call me chef Jeon for no reason,” he winks at you.

You both continue eating in silence as you watch the cartoon on the TV, your legs were crossed on Jungkook’s lap and you felt so cozy lying beside him on his velvet couch.

Once you were finished with the soup you put it down the glass coffee table in front of you and reposition yourself to lye your head on Jungkook’s shoulder. He gives you small head pats while still gluing his eyes to the cartoon, you finally ask him what cartoon this was since you had no idea what you were even watching.

“It’s Pucca! It’s a show I used to watch as a kid, I still get nostalgic about it from time to time.”

You didn’t know he was so passionate about his cartoons, you always liked when he would show little bits of his interests. You were happy that he was able to share these things with you, it made your bond feel even closer.

“You’re so cute sometimes,” you say to him smiling, snuggling him with him some more.

“Thanks?” He chuckles at your funny comment, “you’re always cute though.”

With that, he brings his hand to your face and kisses you adoringly. You lean into the kiss and feel his lip ring brushing up against you, placing your hands around his neck you position yourself to be on his lap now. You tug on his lower lip and he lets you in properly; taking his time with kissing you deeply before he sneaks his hands elsewhere. You could feel his body heat against yours and it was only getting warmer in here. You begin to grind slowly on him as he trails his hands to your hips, now holding them in place. You keep grinding against his now visible boner, rocking your hips back and forth as he held onto you.

You moan in his mouth from the friction and you can feel him throbbing underneath you, his dick twitching at any slight amount of stimulation. Jungkook breaks away from the kiss to move on to your neck, he nibbles on your flesh as he bites down gently to eventually turn a reddish purple hue. He scatters little butterfly kisses all over to make you grow flustered, coming back up to press his lips against yours again.

The romantic in you wanted him to take his time with you but you’ve already had enough foreplay throughout the day. You really need him inside you and you were going to get that one way or another.

“Jungkook” you break away from the kiss for a second.

“Yes sweetheart?”

“Can I ride you?”

He smirks at your words, you didn’t beat around the bush at all for him.

“Of course you can ride daddy’s cock,” he brings his hand under your shirt to fondle your breasts, “you don’t have to ask princess.”

He lifts up your shirt to expose your bare chest to him, toying with your nipples some more while kissing you before he takes off his shirt next. You loved seeing him shirtless, his tattooed body was ridiculously sexy. The mere sight of him made you want to have an outer-body orgasm. You feel on his pecks and biceps just admiring his gorgeously toned body, you could trace the curves of abs all day. You kiss him again as he feels your ass through your sweatpants, sliding his hands in inside to grab it tighter. His hands were so soft and warm, you loved the feeling of his touch against you.

As you two part from the kiss, a thin string of saliva connects to the both of your lips. He smiles at you and licks it away.

“Take your pants for me pretty girl” he says, “wanna see you naked already.”

He was so impatient it made you giggle at his behavior. You get up from his lap to slide your sweatpants off and Jungkook is in disbelief to find out you went commando.

“Fuck… you really know how to drive me up the walls don’t you?” He couldn’t stop looking at you up and down, he was so infatuated and turn on with everything about you.

He signals you to come back to his lap with his finger and you sit on top of him now completely naked. He massages his hands all over your body tenderly, enamoring you dearly with his touches. His hands felt like putty to you, melting into him like clay as you grind against him again. A moan leaves both of your mouths from the pleasure and you didn’t notice but you realize now that the TV was turned off.

“Take your pants off already!” You whine to him so you can finally feel him. He tsks at you being unable to contain your excitement for him.

“Be patient little one, I was getting to that.”

He lets you off of him so he can undo his pants and slides them down to his ankles. You watch him closely as he goes onto his boxers, bringing them down as well; fully exposed to his cock for the second time today.

You jump back onto him and kiss hungrily, your bodies intertwine with one another as you straddle him and position yourself to take his length. He keeps his hands on your hips while you rub your wetness on his tip, the moans coming from your mouth was harmonic to Jungkook.

He moved a hand to feel on your ass and he leaves a hard slap against it, making your ass jiggle from the contact. He watches and does it again a few more times, making you whimper from the slight pain he’s causing.

“I love everything about you y/n,” he says once he breaks away from kissing you “I love all of you, you’re so fucking perfect” he nuzzled his face in your neck and you couldn’t help but smile at what he said. He knew exactly what to say to get you to make you feel like you were the only girl in the world.

You lowered yourself onto him now, feeling the way you take him so easily from being soaking wet. Jungkook mumbles something illegible under his breath as your cunt swallows his cock whole. It didn’t take long for you to reach the end of him since you were already so ready for him, you stay in the same position to feel all of him inside you. His cock was splitting you open so nicely, it felt like you were in paradise.

Jungkook bucks up his hips slowly, wanting to feel more movement from you. You move your hips to match his rhythm as you gain your balance, pressing both hands on his shoulder blades. You bounce slightly up and down on his cock, feeling your walls being filled up by every inch of him. You shifted from grinding on him real slow to picking up your pace indefinitely. Jungkook throws his head back from the pleasure, the sound of his balls hitting against your ass with the combination of it jiggling as you rode him like a bunny was enough to make him want to combust.

“You always feel so good around me princess,” he groans while grabbing your ass, “this pussy’s going to be the death of me baby.”

You simply keep moaning as you continue bouncing on his cock, he was thrusting back into you to go even deeper. Your eyes reached the back of the skull from the way he was hitting all the right spots in you. It wouldn’t take long before you started screaming his name and crying out for him.

“J-Jungkook, oh my god—” you couldn’t stop babbling, “fuck you’re so good— you’re so good to me daddy…”

“I know I am princess, now be good for me and cum when I tell you to.”

You nod your head viciously, wanting nothing more than to let him help you reach your orgasm. You couldn’t stop moaning his name over and over like a mantra, it was like your brain was only full of Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook.

“You can cum for me baby, go ahead it’s okay,” he says sweetly.

You feel your high approaching so you pick up the pace quicker, Jungkook’s fingernail was jabbing deep into your hip as you continue riding him. You feel your walls contract from your orgasm and you moaned out so loud for him that you were sure someone miles way could’ve even heard that. You let your orgasm wash over you and Jungkook quickly lifts you up from being on top so he can finish his load in your mouth. You get on your knees to become eye level with his cock and have your tongue out and ready for him. He gives a couple strokes to his cock and eventually large white strings of cum comes in contact with your mouth. You swallow all of his cum, licking the excess off his shaft to make sure you get all of it. You tap your tongue against the tip of his cock and the dirty view of you doing it was making Jungkook’s mind go complacent blank.

“You’re so fucking hot” he says, caressing your cheek in his hand and then squeezing it playfully.

You simply giggle at him and get up from the floor, you sit back onto the couch to give him another sweet kiss.

“You ready to shower and head to bed?” He asks.

“Yeah, I’m officially worn out for the day.”

You put only your shirt back on and Jungkook puts on his boxers, he leads the way for you both to head upstairs.

You immediately go into the bathroom and he goes into his room to get you both fresh clothes. Meanwhile as you wait for him to come back you were looking at the love bites that he left all your neck. You couldn’t believe he’d do such a thing since you literally have another shoot tomorrow. Guess you’ll have to just cover it up with some good ol’ concealer. You hear a commotion from outside the door but it didn’t sound like it was coming from Jungkook’s bedroom. A set of keys rustling could be heard from afar as you bring your ear close to the door.

“Jeon Jungkook!” You hear a woman’s voice from downstairs call out.

You slowly recognize that voice, it was that same voice from the voicemail in Jungkook’s phone. You were mortified, now trapped in the bathroom with absolutely no escape.

“Jungkook!” She calls out again, “I’m home, I decided to surprise you a day early!”

You wanted so badly to just crawl up into a microscopic ball and hide. You get into the bathtub and close the shower curtain so you can be hidden. You know Jungkook wasn’t coming back for you any time soon now.

Bracing yourself for the worst, you hear the voice grow closer as she headed up the stairs.

“Babe! You home?” She kept calling out to him but he wasn’t saying a word.

You were more concerned of her possibly finding out that you were here so you just keep quiet and do your best to remain calm. You were losing your shit in your mind but you believe in Jungkook enough to handle this. You just keep yourself poised so you can wait for this to all be over.

You hear the handle of the bathroom door jolt, you had it locked so no one could come in. You had no idea who was shaking the doorknob but you weren’t going to take your chances.

“Jungkook, you in there?” You hear his wife asks, now knocking on the door quietly.

“I know you’re in there, just answer me already!”

You hug yourself and rock back and forth to drown out the sounds of her. You couldn’t take it anymore, all the guilt kept rushing back to you now. You regret even being here at this point. Teleportation would really come in handy at this moment.

“Jungkoo- oh finally you show up!” She says in a chipper tone now.

“Hey Soyeon…” he didn’t sound enthusiastic at all to hear from her.

“Why is the bathroom door locked?” She asks out of curiosity.

You hear him give the worst excuse that you ever heard in your whole life of living.

“Oh damn is it really? I must have accidentally locked it or something, how weird is that!”

“I don’t think that’s even possible to do Jungkook..” she continued “what were you getting up to? Hiding someone in there?”

You know she was only joking but the irony of it was enough to make Jungkook become even more defensive.

“No silly, that’s crazy! I just accidentally locked it from the inside is all.”

“Well unlock it back, I gotta use the bathroom!”

“Then use the downstairs one.”

“What the fuck why? When’s there’s a perfectly good bathroom in front of me, stop with this nonsense and just open it already!” She demands.

You couldn’t stop fidgeting now, this whole situation was about to get blown up in Jungkook’s face and there was nothing you could do to stop it.

#jungkook smut #bts x reader #jungkook fic #jungkook angst #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jungkook x reader #bts fanfic #bts smut #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook x female reader

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lynderman · 2 years

Text

𝙂𝙡𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙨𝙚 𝙊𝙛 𝙐𝙨 (Robin Arellano) Pt.5

Pairing: Robin Arellano x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2,847

Date Published: 8/7/22

Tags: Angst, AU, Alternate Universe, Heartbreak, breakups, (past) fluff, eventual Vance Hopper X Reader, time-skips, flashbacks, confessions, fighting.

Description: (This AU Has no grabber what so ever. It's just with the characters. I'm also making them all 16-17 just because it seems better to me lol.)

You and Robin had been dating for quite a while. It all went downhill When he began to get into fights again. A bit later, you get with someone else. How will Robin handle seeing you with someone who isn't him?

Full Chapterlist

(taglist)

@jackie-xoxo

@jadearellano

@wowwontonsoup

@liissharks

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

'𝘊𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘐 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘶𝘴

(𝙍𝙤𝙗𝙞𝙣'𝙨 𝙋.𝙊.𝙑)

"I'd Like that." I watched as (Y/n) walked out with Vance. I shouldn't be as mad as I am. I get she moved on. Great. Wonderful. Fantastic for her! But with of all people, Vance Hopper? I mean, C'mon. He's the off brand version of me! She majorly downgraded if you ask me. I shouldn't be talking though. I did go back to Paige. That girl is worse than Vance. Don't ask me why I did it. I can't tell you, because I don't know why.

Yes I do.

I did it because I know I fucked up. I fucked up with (Y/n) majorly. More than I had with anyone before. I took my anger out on her for no reason. I ruined a great 4 year friendship, and an even better partnership. I know it was my fault. I would admit that to her face if I could. But I can't. I never see her anymore. Ok, that's an over exaggeration. I do see her. A lot actually. I just never talk to her.

I see her when she skates down the streets to meet up with Finney. I see her in my 3rd, 6th, and 7th periods. I see her in the cafeteria sitting with Gwen and Donna. I see her at the record shop off of 8th street. I see her a lot in my dreams though. Ever since I left her at Crystal Hill, I have the same dream of her. It isn't really a dream. It's just a memory of how we broke up. The same dream for the past 3 weeks and 5 days.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

"You're late. Again." I heard (Y/n) say as I walked up behind her. She was sitting under the large Bristlecone Pine Tree we usually met at. I didn't say anything as I sat down next to her. It took her a moment to look at me. I could tell she was upset. She normally greeted me with a hug, or at least a smile. But tonight was different. Before I had the chance to say something she took my left arm in her hand. "Robin, what the hell is this??" I yanked my arm away from her. "An extra limb! What does it look like?" I replied. "It looks like you got into another fight." I scoffed. "Maybe I did. And what about it?" She didn't say anything and grabbed my other arm to look at it as well. I pulled it back quicker this time.

"Is this why you were late again? Because you got into another fight? Robin, you said you would stop."

"And I did!" "For a week." "Ok? Well at least I stopped!" She shook her head in response."No, you did stop. Now you keep getting back into them!" "What's the harm in fighting people? I always come out on top anyways. I'm fine after a day or two." I replied. "The harm in it is that you're always late to everything now! For fuck's sake, you've even stood me up a few times! And for what? A stupid fist fight? All because some kid bumped into you on accident? Fighting isn't that important Robin. You don't need to do it at any minor inconvenience." "(Y/n), it is important!" "Why?" "Because-" "Is it more Important than me?!" I could hear a small crack in her voice as she said that. As if she was about to cry. I didn't say anything.

The clouds began to clear from the storm that took place earlier, giving off the moon's light. (Y/n) finally turned back to face me. She cut herself off when she saw my arm. I could hear a light gasp escape her mouth. She took my hand and looked closer at my wound. She always did have poor eye sight, so I shouldn't have been shocked that she couldn't see the full extent of my wound. "Robin- That isn't just a gash. It looks like-" I stood up and pulled myself out of her grasp. "What? Like someone stabbed me? Yeah, they did. As a matter of fact, he dragged the blade a bit if you can't already tell." She stood up and took a step forward as I took one back. "That looks really bad. You need to go somewhere to-"

"No!" She stopped in her tracks. "But it's-" "God will you just calm down for once?" "All you ever do is baby me. You treat me like a child! You look at me like I'm some abandoned puppy on the side of the road! If anything I should be looking at you like that." She just stood there. I couldn't bring myself to look at her. "You're so fucking clingy (Y/n)! You trail behind me everywhere I go! You follow me out of school, or when we're in the supermarket. God, I can't even go out of my house without you asking my own mom where I am! It's not a shock that you have no other friends. Everyone notices how you act so big and bad, but deep down Inside you're just insecure and hate everything about yourself. You're too codependent. You act like you have some claim over me as a person! You ask everyone where I am at all times. You need to learn to fend for yourself for once. I'm not your property, and you need to learn to get a grip."

I had no clue why I was saying all of this. Today had been a shit day from the start and an even shittier night now. What was I so mad about anyways? Why was I always the bad guy in our relationship? All I wanted was for us to be happy. But it never seemed to work out like that. I had planned on talking to her about it tonight. Just, not in this manner. When I finally looked up at her I felt my heart drop a bit.

She was standing in front of me, gripping her elbows as she tried to stop herself from crying. It wasn't working. Her eyeliner was messed up and her mascara was running down her cheeks. Come to think of it, why was she wearing makeup? She never bothered to put any on. And what's with that dress? I'd only seen her wear one once and that was when-

Oh fuck.

Today was our anniversary. Our year and a half to be exact. That would explain why she had her hair done and makeup on. Why she wasn't wearing worn out converse and jeans, but a dress and cardigan. And the shiny bag next to her satchel. It looked like a gift bag. And here I was. My hair tied down with my bandana. Blood soaked clothes, and a torn pair of shoes. On top of that, I just took out all my pent up anger on her. Words couldn't express the amount of guilt I felt as I stood there and watched her. I couldn't tell if she was shaking due to the cold breeze, or the fact I just shouted and broke her heart.

"Mi corazón, I'm so sorry. I-I didn't mean to say all of that. I just had a really bad day. I don't know why-" I quickly walked over and wrapped my arms around her. She automatically shoved me off and took a few steps back. "Is that how you really feel?" She asked. "No! No! Well yes. No? Sort of. But I was going to talk to you-" She cut me off. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? You didn't need to fuck with my feelings for years. I'm sorry I'm so 'Clingy'. I just worry about you a lot. I don't want to see you hurt. And after my dad-"

"(Y/n). This has nothing to do with your dad ok? Let's just-" "Can you not cut me off?" She said, cutting me off. "I'm sorry that I-" "No. I'm sorry Robin. I'm sorry that I thought you ever cared about me to begin with. I'm sorry that I thought you were different than before. God, I'm so naïve. To think that you actually were different than Paige? To think that after all these years you would change after she lost her grip on you. I'm sorry that I gave you everything I could. That I was the one who cared for all of your injuries. That I was the one who helped tutor you whenever you didn't understand math. That I was the one who would sneak into your house at night to make sure you were ok?! This was all such Bullshit! I should've listened to Vance when I had the chance!"

I scoffed and walked closer. "To Vance? Are you shitting me right now (Y/n)? Vance Hopper. You'd listen to what he had to say about me?" She wiped her tears and looked at me. "Oh, like you don't listen to all the lies Paige tells you about me?" She crossed her arms and pursed her lips. "I don't even talk to her anymore! Ever since you moved here she wants nothing to do with me!" I shout. "Oh really? When she rubs up on you and shouts 'Robbie' every time you see her tells me otherwise."

"Well, maybe I should go rub up on her back!" (Y/n) looked livid. Beyond livid. "God Robin, you never know when to stop do you?! Whether that be with your words or fights. Maybe I should go date vance instead!" She looked almost as shocked as I must have when she said that. "That isn't what I meant. I meant that-"

"You do that (Y/n). You do that." I felt furious. At her? Yes, of course. But more at myself for letting things get this far. "You shouldn't be sorry. It should be me. I'm sorry that I left Paige for you. At least she cared about me." She laughed. "Cared about you? She purely used you to climb the social ladder. She never hung out with you. She bought your favor. Might be a good time to let you know that she was fucking with Bruce Yamada from May to September."

"I'm sorry that I ever gave you a chance." She rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry that you're emotionally unavailable." "I'm sorry that you're not as pretty as Paige." "I'm sorry you're not as strong as Vance!" "I'm sorry that no one cares about you." "I'm sorry that your parents want you out of the house!" "I'm sorry that your dad offed himself. At least I have-"

I turned back to get one more look at her before I headed down the hill to my car. I knew I hit a bit of a nerve. More than a nerve. I definitely crossed the line with that one. (Y/n) was completely done for. She stood there bawling her eyes out and looking at me like I was the monster. To be fair, I was. I still didn't know why I was acting like this to her. I cared about her more than anyone in the world. I wanted nothing more than for her to be happy. I didn't want to leave her here alone and miserable.

"I'm sorry that I ever loved you!"

Her words didn't just echo in the forest. They echoed in my head as well. Love? Is that what she just said? That she loves me? She did love me, didn't she? It all hit me at once. Everything she did for me. All the things she said. The way she would set aside her entire days plans to make sure I was ok. Or ditch a friend to see me for just a minute.

I watched as she grabbed the shiny bag and walked towards me. She threw it at me, hitting my chest as I caught it with a small thud. "Happy fucking anniversary Arellano. I hope that all the money I spent on that and this argument was worth it." She turned back and sat down under the tree, hugging her knees to her chest. I looked in the bag, removing the paper. There was a small wooden box inside. The gift inside left me in awe.

It was a small silver belt buckle. It had the initials R.A engraved in gold in the middle with the entire thing being outlined in it too. I remember talking to (Y/n) once about how much I'd kill to have a custom belt buckle. She even asked me to draw it out. The one she threw at me was identical to the drawing. I knew I fucked up. But this was the icing on the cake. This had to have been well over $110. With the initials, even more than that.

I stood there, watching her cry into her own arms. All because of me. I was her boyfriend. I should be holding her and apologizing, begging for her forgiveness right now. But I couldn't bring myself too. I was too embarrassed and ashamed. I guess she knew I was still there. Because she turned to me and pointed to my car down the hill. "You can go now, dipshit." Before turning back around to look at the forest.

I slowly made my way down the hill and into my car, laying my head down onto the top of my wheel and groaned. Were we breaking up? Or were we already broken up with to begin with? I could feel a few tears leave my eyes as I started my car and put it into reverse. I took one more glance to see that she was gone.

"Goodbye Mi corazón." I mumbled before I pulled out and drove back down the hill and into town.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘐'𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴

I sat in the chair next to Paige's hospital bed. Her parents were flabbergasted to say the least. I had to switch up the story of what happened in the bathroom that morning. It took a lot of convincing, but they decided to not press charges against (Y/n). I had heard the entire thing from outside the bathroom. The only reason I was with Paige was because I missed (Y/n). I thought that maybe if I tried to move on I would get over her. I didn't though. I tried. I really really tried. Every Hug I gave Paige, Ever kiss she gave me. Any and everything we did, I Imagined she was (Y/n).

It helped for a little bit. But when she showed up to school a week after our break up, it all went downhill again. Everyone knew. It wasn't a secret that we weren't stuck together like glue now. And the fact Paige told everyone we were together again didn't help my case. I remember when I saw her for the first time after. She was sitting in the music room alone. I could hear quiet sniffles and a the hum of a guitar. When I looked through my Classroom's doorframe I could see her in the corner of the room with her guitar in her lap. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying. It took every bone in my body to not go across the hall.

That was right before I saw Vance Hopper walk into the room. He walked up to (Y/n) and sat down next to her. He began talking to her for a while. Soon she had stopped crying and was laughing with him as he played something on her guitar. He said something and she blushed. Hard. I watched as he planted a kiss on her cheek. "Yo, Robin. You good?" I turned to Finney as he asked. "Yeah-Why?" He blinked. "Uhhh cause your palms are bleeding a bit." I looked down to see that my nails had been digging into my palms hard enough to make them bleed.

When I looked back across the hall, I stared in disbelief as Vance walked out with is hand in (Y/n)'s. As if he knew I had been watching the whole time, He turned around and winked at me before walking down the hall with her.

"ROBIN!"

I looked up from the tile floor to see Matty, his friends, and two of Paige's closest friends in the hospital room. I guess they had come to visit after school. "Errrr Yeah?" I ask. "Well?" Matty asked. "Well what?" Abigail rolled her eyes at me. "Well, are you coming to that new Roller rink with us tonight? Paige said she didn't mind anyways." I turned to look at Paige and all she did was nod. I agreed before they all left the room. I gave Paige's hand a squeeze out of guilt before leaving the room as well.

𝘚𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘐'𝘮 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘐 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘐'𝘮 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘴 𝘏𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘈 𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘶𝘴

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

#the black phone #tbp #xreader #reader insert #angst #robin arellano #finney blake #female reader #slow burn #Robin Arellano x reader #the black phone x reader #x reader series #series #robinsrelic #vancehopper #bruce yamada

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the-infinite-hole · 6 months

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hi my ~realistic~ narry/reader broken marriage thoughts turned into a 3k word fanfic about trying to reconnect with him.

you're in the shower but you don't do anything xD

tentatively tagging @caltverkeys because i probably wouldn't have thought about it for so long if they hadn't expressed interest in my initial thoughts. :)

not that i expect ANYONE to actually read all 3k words of this silliness lol.

(*i wouldn't normally post whole fics to tumblr except this one probably wouldn't exist WITHOUT tumblr.)

sooo here ya go

...

When you hear the faucet squeak to life and smell his soap beginning to waft down the stairs, you smile because you know it means he's had a good day— or, at the very least, that he hasn't had a bad one, which is sometimes all you really need.

Sometimes.

Saying his name quietly to yourself (you know he can't hear you over the din of the water, but you feel like saying it anyway), you creep up the stairs, heading toward the bathroom at the end of the hall. The door is half-open, and through the noise you think you can detect him muttering something to himself.

His muttering doesn't bother you, though; it never has: Thinking out loud is something he's always done, and anyway, it's actually quite nice to hear his voice— especially when he's been flat-out ignoring you in favour of his own pursuits, which lately he's been doing quite a bit.

For days and days now, your Narrator (actually, he's your husband; however, he just as often insists upon being addressed by his own chosen title) has been holed up in his dark, smoky little office, working on his very own video game: His 'parable' as he likes to call it. He's been building it privately on his computer for as long as you've known him, adding dialogue and settings and characters and concepts at what most people would describe as his leisure.

At first, you were charmed by the strength of his creative drive— however, having been married to him for as many years as you have, you now know first-hand that there isn't actually anything 'leisurely' about the way your husband works on his game.

How long has it been, you think, since he last had a job— real job; a job that actually made him real-life money? How long has it been since the two of you last went out to dinner together...? Or entertained company, or took a trip—?

...You shake your head as you step into the bathroom, banishing both the thoughts and the hard, sticky bitterness clinging to them like old barnacles.

Not right now.

He's already standing under the water when you arrive, hidden safely behind the curtain: A mere silhouette, although over the years you've grown sadly accustomed to him being somewhat of a shadow to you. He spends so much time holed up with his game in that little office of his that sometimes you worry you're going to forget what he even looks like.

His glasses (at least those haven't changed) are resting on the edge of the sink; his pants are balled up on the floor with his socks. His shirt is hooked on the doorknob, its sleeves hanging just low enough to brush up against the worn linoleum tile peeling up from the edges of the floor. Even over the soap, you can smell the sweat on it; see the coffee stains, too. It feels like a long time since you've seen him undressed, and maybe even longer than that since you've seen him without his glasses.

It's embarrassing— you certainly wouldn't admit it out loud— but the god's honest truth is that you can hardly even recall what colour his eyes are anymore.

You bite down on your lip as your stomach ties itself in knots. You've been married to him for longer than you haven't been, but all of a sudden— right here and right now— you feel nervous: Like you're intruding, or crossing a boundary.

...Like you shouldn't even be here.

He's probably busy, you scold yourself. Busy trying not to get soap in his eyes; busy thinking about his game. Busy spending time in his head with Stanley.

'Stanley' isn't real, though, and neither is the game, no matter how much your Narrator seems to wish they were. You don't resent his inclination to retreat into himself so much as you wish you understood it; you knew he was prone to bouts of depression when you married him, and you would never begrudge him his feelings. But to witness him running headlong into a set of digital arms when you've been there for him in real-life all along...

Shh, quit it. Not right now.

No, you think, it isn't the right time to indulge your own misplaced jealously and pent-up bitterness any more than it's the right time to contemplate your husband's chronic lack of employment or unwillingness to join you for dinner. You didn't trail him in here to scold him; you can do that any time. No, you came in here to...

...to...

...wait.

Wait, what did you come in here for, anyway...?

He coughs from behind the shower curtain, maybe to let you know he's detected you; maybe just because he smokes too much. The sharpness of the scent of his soap and the headiness of the humidity in the air are what coax you back to reality; you're still frightened, but before you know it, you're peeling your own clothes off and discarding them to the floor right alongside his anyhow.

Could this be it, you ask yourself—? The thing you came for? Joining your husband (or your 'Narrator', or whoever the hell he thinks he is these days) for a shower is something you haven't done in years. What could possibly be possessing you to do it tonight?

What do you think you're going to gain from it— do you really think it's going to help?

Now less-than-sure of yourself, you almost give up right then: Put on a towel and scurry out of the bathroom; maybe to go and make some tea, or even just pretend to go to bed. But then— then— you think better of retreating, because what does it really matter whether or not it 'helps'? Running away is something he does; something he does, in fact, that you loathe. What kind of message would it send to him, if you went and did the very same thing...?

Whatever precipitated that well-timed cough of his, he already knows you're here: Quite simply, you can feel it. You don't need to ask.

Goosebumps pepper your skin as your throat seems to close in on itself; without meaning to, necessarily, you start taking steps: First one; then two, and three, and then finally (it feels like it takes a lot longer than it does), you're standing at the edge of the bathtub with your hand on the curtain, trying not to breathe too fast.

Perhaps in spite of yourself, you shoot a quick glance back in the direction of the mirror, just to make sure you're still smiling. If you're here because you love him, you reason, then shouldn't you greet him as though you're happy to see him?

Next, you pull back the curtain, letting out a hot puff of steam; after that, you lift a foot, stepping high over the lip of the tub and into the shower. He isn't facing you, but the source of the water instead; he also isn't washing his hair or his face, or anything else, for that matter. He isn't moving or talking, and he certainly isn't singing to himself the way he used to when you first got married. Really, all he seems to be doing is standing there: Stiffly, beneath the water, like a pillar of something soluble— something that wishes it would melt.

You place a hand on his shoulder from behind, and his back tenses beneath your touch. Your smile fades before he's even had a chance to see it; your breath catches, and already you're terrified you've made an awful mistake.

"I'm sorry," you start...

But then, he turns around.

Nearly choking on your own words, you stop as quickly as you started: Again, it's been practically forever since you last law his eyes.

They're green.

A beautiful, sparkling emerald green; as bright and brilliant as ever, almost as if in direct and deliberate defiance of all the things that so often seem to conspire to take him away from you. They're so lovely (and so lovely on him) that you're ashamed to have so flagrantly forgotten them. Then again, you think, maybe you were meant to forget them: Maybe he wanted you to.

"Don't be sorry," he says. "I'm almost finished."

Calm and cordial (entirely too cordial, actually) his spoken words come near-devoid of any particular intonation— betraying very little of the pain or confusion swirling about behind those pretty eyes of his. It's been like that for a long time; again, you sorely miss the sound of his voice, but he just doesn't seem to have it in him to use it the way he once did.

Not unless he's narrating for Stanley, anyway.

"I wasn't waiting for you to be finished," you tell him— trying as best you can to tamp down both your long-standing bitterness and your hope, lest either of them get the better of you.

His eyes dart to the side, as if he doesn't know what to say. He doesn't try to hide himself from you, and hasn't since you joined him; however, you know that's less because he's comfortable and more because he simply doesn't give a shit— about the way he looks; about the way you feel about him. The Narrator hardly seems to care about anything anymore.

Shut up. You're here because you love him anyway, remember?

"...You aren't?" he asks, voice creaking like an old door as he places a single hand on the slick tile wall beside him and keeps on refusing to look up at you.

"I'm not," you promise... tentatively reaching back out toward him, only to stop just short of actually touching his chest.

"Then why are you—"

"I just wanted to—"

"Just wanted to what?"

Clearly off to a less-than-stellar start, you bite your lip again. "...Let's not interrupt each other," you suggest, as gently as you can. Your hand is still hanging there between the two of you, resting in the air like a spectre. His body is shielding it from the water, and therefore the rest of you, too. You shiver— cold, now, in spite of the steam.

"...I'm sorry," he says, only barely audible over the insistent pattering of the water. Venturing to lift his head, he looks first at your hand; then, eventually, up at your face.

If nothing else, you suppose, his apology is at least sincere.

"You don't need to be sorry," you tell him... and (for now, anyway) it's the truth.

"...I wasn't lying when I said I was nearly finished," he mutters, shoulders shifting as though he's about to try and move past you. In desperation (desperation you hope to god he can't sense), you let that floating hand of yours finally make its landing: A gentle one, in the very centre of his chest, warm little rivulets of water flowing over and around it.

"Wait," you plead... pressing the tips of your fingers insistently into his skin.

"What for?" he asks back, having apparently grown uncomfortable enough with your presence that it's actually beginning to annoy him. You try not to let your heart sink; how many of your fights with him have started out precisely this way—?

"...Do you remember our first apartment?" you ask him, irreverent and hopeful and still not to be deterred. "The one with the leaky toilet and the irritable landlord?"

He sighs, pursing his lips. "...I do remember," he admits, if reluctantly. "He was always complaining about—"

"The water bill!" you blurt out— unable to resist finishing for him as an entirely unintentional grin flashes across your face.

Apparently unmoved, your Narrator shifts his weight from leg to leg. "I thought we were going to quit interrupting each other," he huffs... averting his gaze yet again, this time in favour of staring intently down at the water swirling around his own feet and down into the drain.

You hate admitting it, even to yourself, but you miss when he used to stare at you.

"...I'm sorry," you say, kicking yourself internally because you should have known better than to get excited.

"Anyway," he goes on tersely, "we haven't needed to share showers to save water for years— and so unless you're here to deliver some sort of unfavourable news with regard to our financial situation, I quite frankly don't see any reason for you to have joined me."

You almost wish you'd gone ahead and interrupted him again. Nonetheless, you curl your toes hard into the ceramic beneath your feet; having come this far, you aren't giving up on him.

Not yet.

Not tonight.

"If I told you that I just wanted to join you," you start, "then would that be a good enough reason?" Gazing down at your own hand as it rests on his chest, it dawns on you that you don't exactly have a whole lot of room to criticize his reluctance to make eye contact.

Looking up, you catch his gaze and hold it— maybe for as long as you've held it in years.

It isn't easy, but it's worth the effort... isn't it?

Already flush from the steam, you can't quite tell whether his cheeks have gone red, or whether he's merely grown too warm. "I— w-well, I suppose it would be," he spits out, "but... but, well, I... I..."

Mindful of his having chided you for it earlier, you refrain from cutting in, giving him a moment to try and finish. Only when it becomes evident that he isn't going to finish do you dare to prompt him.

"You what?" you ask— emphatically, yes, but also kindly; more curious, now, than impatient.

Your thumb begins to stroke gently at a damp tuft of hair on his chest. It's familiar, but in a way that feels distant, too: Like something you're remembering from a whole other life.

He focuses his gaze somewhere behind you, then: Past the shower curtain, in the direction of the bathroom door. He could very well be thinking about pushing right past you and bolting though it; in fact, it's more likely than not that he is— but if he's thinking about running, he must also be thinking about not running in equal measure, because (it'll seem almost miraculous, when you look back on it later), he doesn't so much as move a muscle.

He does cough again— maybe just clearing his throat.

You don't stop stroking that little wet tuft on his chest.

"I... well, I suppose I thought you didn't want to," he reveals, as earnestly as it feels like he's revealed anything to you in years.

For a moment, you feel newly ashamed... but then, of course, you feel frustrated: He thinks you're the one who didn't want to be with him—?!

You're aren't the one who spends every waking moment holed up in an office with their pixilated boyfriend.

...No, you remind yourself: Now isn't the time to bring up Stanley.

"Of course I want to!" you tell him back, and once more, it's the truth: Again, you didn't join him in the shower to berate him; you joined him because you love him— you always have, and even through everything, you've never stopped. You don't think you ever will. "We're still married, aren't we?" you ask, as your feet shift forward and a nervous, playful little lilt infiltrates your tone.

He blushes. There's no question about it this time, steam or no steam. He's always been prone to it, and (for better or worse) you've always loved making him turn red.

"I— I... w-well—"

As careful as ever, you close the remainder of the distance between the two of you— snaking a trembling arm around his waist in the process. His back seems to straighten out, but he doesn't try to pull away; you look into his eyes, and (maybe because he doesn't have anywhere else to look), he stares back into yours.

You don't say anything to him, but you do smile: Not bold enough to expect, perhaps... but certainly brave enough to hope.

He pauses, drawing a breath.

"...Y-yes," he finally manages. "Yes— yes, of course we're still married; it's just that— th-that—"

In lieu of interrupting him with words, you take yet another chance... this time by tilting your head (once again, in a way you haven't done in years), and shutting him up with a kiss.

It always used to work before.

You close your eyes, partly because you're scared; but also partly because of the fine spray misting out from behind him. The water pelting his back trickles over and around your hand; he breaths in, lungs expanding against your body in a way you never quite realized until just this moment how very much you missed.

...Maybe he misses it too, because the next thing you know, he's kissing you back.

He's really, actually kissing you back.

It's been so long since he last put his arms around you that you almost flinch when he does. He tastes, as always, like his favourite cigarettes; his lips are exactly as warm as you remember them. More grateful than ever to be surrounded by water, your eyes fill with tears; you know you shouldn't cry, but your body doesn't seem to care.

The pipes, old and lime-encrusted, whine from above you. Droplets tap-tap-tap against the plastic shower curtain; the drain gurgles from under your feet; and— somehow, suddenly— you're quite positive that you can hear the far-off droning of someone's car alarm, blaring faintly from outside.

Your Narrator himself, however, doesn't make a sound. He doesn't move, either... except to part his lips, and pull you even closer to him.

...Maybe, you think sadly to yourself, he really does need 'Stanley' as much as he seems to believe he does. Maybe he's depressed; maybe he's angry— maybe he's been touched by something he hasn't yet gathered the courage to reveal to you, and it's eating him up from the inside-out. You still don't know, any more than you know how to pull him out of his head and back into real life.

Right here, though— right here, in this very moment, steeping together like human tea in the warm, fragrant steam— your Narrator seems just as content to need you as he does to need his office, or his computer, or his best digital friend.

A kiss in the shower might not seem like a lot to some people, no... but to you it's something: A lot of something, in what often feels like a sad and lonesome sea of even more nothing.

It may not be able to singularly mend everything that's wrong with him (or with your marriage, or with you yourself), no: But tonight, it feels like enough.

Maybe— for now; from him— 'enough' really is all you need.

#tsp #narrator x reader #tsp au #tsp fanfic #tsp narrator #saaaad

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fizzingwizard · 3 months

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joking with bf about tumblr and realized I don't understand what people get out of social media anymore - like at all.

My first real "social media" was myspace. It was short-lived. But I liked that (back then) you had your own page, you filled it out with your information, you had your music and banners etc. Not so many images back then, but the point was your page was yours. Customizing your own space was fun.

Then I moved on to livejournal which was even more self-involved. You had your journal that was just yours. You could put anything in it, anything you wanted, and it wouldn't go away unless you chose to delete it. But other people could look at it and interact with you in the comments. And you could join communities where you'd meet other people with similar interests, which would then lead them to visit your journal and you to visit them.

When lj tanked I moved to tumblr, where once again, I have my own space, I can talk about whatever I want, people can choose to interact with me if they feel like it, plus there are visuals and video and a feed which delivers new posts from people I follow. It's easier than ever to just explore, meet people with similar interests, and make connections, while cultivating my own journal/scrapbook that is a record of myself over the years.

It seems to me that self-involved element just isn't interesting to many people anymore. Even though Instagram and Tiktok are definitely very invested in the self! I guess the argument is probably that no one reads text posts anyway, the best way is to post video or images and at most have a short quick to read blurb attached at the bottom. But the attraction of text posts, for me, was never the idea that other people were going to read them. It was simply self-expression. The enjoyment of talking about what's going on with me and working through it. It's nice to get comments, but sometimes the comments, well, make you feel worse, especially on a personal post.

On fandom posts I hoped for notes, but in general I liked to stew in anonymity. I thought about having separate blogs for fandom posts and personal ones. But you know why I didn't? Because I like going to someone's blog and seeing more there than just their art or fanfiction. I like knowing a thing or two about their lives. Not so I can judge them. Because it makes them feel real, relatable, like a friend. Someone I'm not meant to worship for their skill, but appreciate and support, by my own choice, as part of a community. When there's no info at all and it's just a fandom blog, it feels commercial to me. I'm always relieved when a fandom blog links to their personal blog, although I also find that much more jarring than if everything's just in one place and searchable by tags.

These days everyone tells me to be on Discord, Tiktok, or Instagram. But in none of those places can I develop my own personal space the way I like to. I can't even find groups with similar interests on them. Maybe some exist, but if they do they're nowhere near as easy to find as they used to be. When I was in my twenties I could always find people to chill with, no matter how tiny the fandom was. Now the point is to have a sleek, clean, specific persona so people know immediately what you're selling (even when no actual money is involved). You're selling art, you're selling fanfiction, you're selling meta, you're selling activism, you're selling witticisms. That's all great. And what we've all known, even since the days of myspace, is that what doesn't sell is personal posts. Talk about yourself = followers walk away. There's nothing for them here. Multi-fandom blog? Yeah but I only like one fandom you do, so clearly we have nothing in common and shouldn't interact. Lol. Honestly there are so many people here on tumblr I'd like to interact with, except when I visit their blogs they seem like they wouldn't want to interact with me. I'm only a little bit cottagecore, not 100% cottagecore. I sometimes post about books, but sometimes about anime. So the book-lovers who stick up their nose at anime don't want to hang out with me, and the anime-lovers who don't get classical literature maybe think I'm gonna be a snob toward them. Because they know "too much" about me. If they knew less, if they knew only what they'd feel comfortable knowing, because my blog is anime-only or something, then maybe we'd be friends. Not that I'd call that friendship :) but you know, in that shallow, hyper-specific social media sense of the word.

That's my theory. I never was popular on any social media site - personal blogs rarely are! Never wanted to be either (I've been here since I was in college and uhhh absolutely do not judge me please by anything I wrote when I was stupid nineteen). And it may be that very personal feature of tumblr which makes it less attractive to people than places where the point is to be a persona, instead of a person. Persona attracts, person not so much.

I just feel sad that this type of social media seems to be disappearing when I have no appreciation for the type that's replaced it. Believe it or not, I want to see y'all's novel-length text posts. Even when I don't read them, I still want to see them. I like having my little group that I follow and the only people I unfollow are blogs which self-promote more than I have a taste for. Small spaces are so underrated and I guess that's only to be expected.

#tumblr #social media

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itsanidiom · 2 months

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SHIPPER TAG GAME

LET'S GOOOOO~ tagged by @negrowhat

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care anymore?

Glorestor or Glorfindel / Erestor of Middle Earth Fanon Fame. Not that I don't CARE about it anymore, mind you. There's just not enough new content (for obvious reasons god it's old and there's like one conversation of original source material). I don't think about them as much anymore. Like I used to be reading fanfic EVERY NIGHT and we're talking like novel length fanfics (as you can imagine people in the LOTR fandom write lol). Anyway here's some super old fan art... (>u<)

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

Oh god...something Dynasty Warriors related for sure...

Probably like Sun Ce / Zhao Yu or Gan Ning / Lu Xun. (GO WU! lol) I feel like there were other couples I'm totally forgetting right now...but yeah god I love Dynasty Warriors...

Also...daaamn Gan Ning looks good there I should go buy the latest game. (>w<)

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

Like the first one I wrote or read?? I went into my oldest of old "old writing" folders and found this list of docs that I haven't been touched in over ten years. SO I'm gonna saaaay it was a Dynasty Warriors fanfic...one of these pairings. (^ ^;)

Also kind of hilarious to see that I literally still organize my fanfic files in the same way for over half my fucking life ago...nice...

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

I feel like it would have been something Inuyasha related. That or something Final Fantasy X. I do not remember, but it was probably some version of these scene.

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

Not that I can remember...do not need this in my life...lol but maybe I've reblogged some RPF like discourse? Like the "should or shouldn't you ship" type discussions. I'm on the side of "do whatever you want but don't send it to the famous people" [ex. like ATEEZ fanfic/fanart] or "if they are literally doing it as part of their promo go ahead, it's for fun/they literally requested it as part of their promo" [ex. BillyBabe]. (^ ^;)

6. Did you used to have any no-otp or have it currently?

It honestly always depends on the quality of the fanart or the fanfic because even a notp can turn into a OH!tp if it's good enough. [Exhibit a: my Phaya/Tharn/Chalothorn fanfic]

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

Weirdly the one new Chalothon/Singh fic from The Sign. But I really need AO3 to fix the spelling of his name in the tag...

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?

PhayaTharn are the current obsession~

Look at them...adorable...

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

Still wish John Wick / Santino fucked...also like James Bond / Q and The Protagonist / Neil and Arthur / Eames...bromance is SUCH a waste but considering the genres of these movies it is never gonna happen...I have to wait for the Thai BL versions lol (^ ^;)

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

OH I haven't been traumatized by watched it yet, but Dead Friends Forever has made me get onboard with Macau/Chay of KinnPorsche fame because OMG LOOK AT THESE CUTIES!!!!

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

GOD I remember there was a LOT of Sesshomaru x Inuyasha yaoi when I was a kid LMFAO like...straight up cancelled...I dunno if it was normal back then but no yaoi was normal back then so like it sadly all got lumped together or something...then again looking at some of the comics that are coming out these days...

12. What was your favorite crack ship?

All the McFassy ships from back in the day like OMG REMEMBER JUNGKOV?? STELIOS AND LETO??? ARCHIE AND ROBBIE? SO MANY CROSSOVERS!!

LOL Sorry that just brought me back LOL

13. Who is the couple you read more fanfics of?

Ahhhh I don't know...I usually either write a lot or read a lot...I literally have a fic rec list for Glorestor lol and then when I look in my AO3 bookmarks the top ship is Hannigram sooooo let's say Hannigram even though I haven't read one for a while.

14. What most of your ships usually have in common?

toll and smol...i like me a toll and a smoll...lol or big and small...i dunno something something contrast something something just crush him and/or be uncharacteristically gentle or somehow incapacitate the larger man with your wiles...that is all...

15. What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

Miscommunication < seconding @negrowhat's response. Cannot stand it. Such a boring trope. Very annoying for me (the audience).

#ALL THE SHIPS #my ships #felt like a weird a journey into my past #lol #tag meme #get to know me

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walks-the-ages · 1 year

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Tumblr > Settings> Click on Blog > Scroll down > Featured Tags

[ID: A cropped screenshot of the 'Featured Tags' options on Tumblr Desktop version, showing a blank box where you can type in custom tags and a list of four tags already added to my account, being Doctor Who, Danny Phantom, Quantum Leap, and Star Wars, with a box next to each giving the option of removing them. End ID]

Hey, did you know Tumblr that Tumblr now lets you finally edit the "popular tags" that pop up when you search your own blog?

[ID: a cropped screenshot of my tumblr blog's search function with no text entered yet. There is a pop up box prompting me to check out the popular tags on my blog, which now read as Doctor Who, Danny Phantom, Quantum Leap, and Star Wars. end ID]

This means if someone's checking out my blog, they're not going to see my most-used tags across the entire life of my blog-- things like 'no ID' , 'undescribed images', 'bold text', 'large text', 'capslock', etc, which are all filtering tags or content warning tags, which doesn't give you a good look at what I *actually* post about!

(Or, gods forbid, it would still say I post lots of Supernatural things from 2014 from the sheer volume of ancient posts hanging around in the beginning times of my blog)

So now, if you click on your own blog and go to the search bar and, like me, were greeted with ancient fandoms you don't care about anymore, or just a wall of filtering tags that isn't going to give anyone visiting your blog an idea of what you post about now, you can now remove unwanted tags and type in custom ones, such as me adding Star Wars to my featured tag list :)

As another note, this also means you can't rely entirely on the Featured Tags popup when checking someone's blog to see if they're a TERF or not, since they can now remove those obvious tags, so make sure you actually *search* suspected TERF blogs for the terms trans, rad, female, male, moid, etc to get the best results, as they've wised up (a tiny bit) to the fact they shouldn't post the word trans too much if they want to avoid detection.

Which, you know, is absolutely hilarious that they're aware of the fact that literally everyone hate their guts and will block them on sight if they post enough obvious bullshit, but still somehow under the impression that they're also somehow in the majority and morally right lol.

Sorry, but if you have to hide the fact that you're a terf from the average follower let alone friends and family otherwise they'd be horrified at your rhetoric of hate, maybe that says something about your ideologies.

If you're a terf and you have to be crypto to have online friends? Maybe you should think about why that is.

Anyways, obligatory "fuck off terfs" done, go, be free, have fun removing the 'supernatural' Featured Tag from your blog after 8 years of it being stuck there!

#described images #tumblr update #featured tags #tumblr search #blog search #what do i tag this as #other than fuck off terfs

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multifandombitxh · 2 years

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Two Years Late (Ch. 2)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Series Genre: Friends to Enemies to Lovers

Chapter Genre: Angst

Chapter Warnings: brief mention of death, depictions of violence/blood, bullying(? Eddie mean lol), PTSD flashback

Chapter one: X

Tag list: @soapbar99 @avengersmarauders @senkobingus

A/N: I'm so glad some of you liked this series!! I've been working on it for a bit now so I hope you all enjoy future chapters. If you'd like me to add to to the tag list pls let me know ♥️♥️

Edit: I wanted to clarify I wrote this BEFORE vol. 2 came out, just as an FYI!

Chapter 2: In Your Dreams

"I think you're overthinking this," Robin said over her shoulder as she organized a row of tapes. "I mean, honestly, you had a crush on him once, right? It's normal to have dreams about your crush."

"I haven't thought of him in years, Robin," You sighed, "And it wasn't a dream, it was a nightmare, and he died."

The nightmare in question was why you swore not to sleep again until you physically couldn't fight it anymore. It came to you just as you had fallen asleep the previous night, tearing you back out of your rest immediately. It was hard to recall, but based on what you hadn't blocked out, the Demogorgon attacked Eddie in the dream.

Robin shrugged and turned to face you, leaning her back against the shelves behind her. "If it bothers you so much, why don't you just, I dunno, talk to him?"

"I mean, for starters, he hates my guts," You scoffed, "If I told him I had a dream where he died, he'll think I'm a psycho. Besides, I wouldn't even know when I could talk to him."

Robin finished organizing the tapes and turned on her heel to face you again, a sparkle in her eye. "You know, I heard there's this old, rickety picnic table out behind the track field where people meet Eddie to do drugs deals after school. Maybe you could meet him there."

"Yeah, right," You laughed, "Like he'd talk to me if I showed up there. He'd probably run for the hills if he saw me waiting to do business with him."

"You say 'do business' like it's dirty," Robin chuckled, "Like you're gonna meet him behind the school to give him a bl-"

"Don't finish that sentence," Steve warned, whipping his head around the corner and pointing a finger at Robin. "Do not. Finish. That sentence."

Robin threw her hands up defensively. "Quit eavesdropping!"

"The last thing I wanna hear while I'm trying to work is you two knuckleheads talking about Y/N and Eddie 'the freak' Munson doing God knows what behind the school," Steve said, looking between the both of you with a stern expression on his face. "Got it?"

You both agreed in monotonous voices to no longer speak on the subject. Once Steve was done giving you deadly looks and had returned to his own work, Robin leaned in and cupped her hands around your ear.

"Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing," She whispered, "I hear he still talks about you all the time."

"God, not you too," You groaned, "That's what Mike and Dustin kept saying when I drove them home the other day."

"It's the truth!" She whisper-yelled, "So I think you should do yourself a favor, and go meet him. School should be out soon anyway."

"Wait," You said, "Shouldn't you be in school?"

Robin shrugged. "I have study hall for my last period, so I get scheduled at this time a lot. Besides, not the point, quit trying to redirect!"

You pinched the bridge of your nose and squeezed your eyes shut, taking a deep breath. "You're not gonna stop telling me to do it until I do, are you?"

"You know I won't."

"Whatever," You said, rolling your eyes. You fished inside your bag and pulled out your keys, hoping to drop the subject for good. "Did you still wanna hang out and watch Gremlins tonight?"

Robin clapped her hands together a few times, grinning ear to ear. "Yes, absolutely I do, yes, please. I need a break from this shit hole and homework desperately."

"Cool," You said with a smile and a nod, "I'll see you then."

Robin gave you a high five and you left the video store, looking forward to spending some time with her later. Since you hadn't been sleeping well for the last few weeks, you and Robin couldn't seem to agree on a time to have a movie night. Every time she asked about it, you always had to reschedule so you could catch up on sleep.

Not that you ever did.

As you hopped in your car, you thought back to your dream from the night before. It only came to you in fragments now, so all you could really recall was dark, black water, a crimson sky, and the Demogorgon rising from the water to attack Eddie. As you thought more about it, more and more of it came back as you drove to the high school. Your breathing became uneven as you remembered holding Eddie's hand on the edge of the water, staring into his eyes just before everything went dark. Your heart skipped a beat and you tried to clear your head enough to focus on driving.

When you arrived at Hawkins High, class wasn't quite out yet, so you sat in your car for a minute to prepare yourself. Did you really want to do this? You couldn't be sure. Part of you was excited to see him again, while another part of you wanted to throw up at the thought. It was hard to tell which part of you was winning, but either way, you had a bad case of butterflies that wasn't going away any time soon.

Gathering your courage you exited your car, locking it behind you and taking long strides toward the track field. Thankfully the field was vacant, allowing you to sneak down into the woods unnoticed. Your breath formed little clouds in the cold air, making you shiver and zip up your jacket. Brown and orange leaves littered the ground and crunched under your feet as you walked into what you were sure was going to be an absolute disaster of a meet-up.

If he even showed up, of course.

The further you went into the woods, you realized you could hear voices in the distance. You slowed your steps as you approached the voices to avoid revealing yourself. The clearing came into view and sure enough, Eddie was sitting at the old picnic table across from someone in a green and white letterman jacket. You decided to hide behind a nearby tree while the conversation progressed. All you could really hear was Eddie blabbing about "pure bliss in minutes".

Drugs. He was talking about drugs.

Fueled by rage you moved from your hiding spot and into the clearing, staring down the student and folding your arms over your chest. He stared back at you, his cheeks burning bright red and his mouth falling open a bit. Next he began to stutter as Eddie droned on about whatever drug he was trying to sell, digging himself into a deeper hole. When he finally noticed his little customer was staring off into the distance behind him, Eddie turned and his shoulders dropped at the sight of you.

"Y/N-"

"Go home now and I won't tell your parents I saw you here," You said to the kid, setting your jaw. It was an empty threat- you'd never seen that kid in your life, let alone his parents- but it was enough to scare him.

"Y-you wouldn't do that," The kid said, immediately beginning to shake and turning to Eddie. "M-my parents can't know about this, they'll never let me s-stay on the team! She w-wouldn't do that, right, man?"

"You really wanna take that risk?" You asked, shifting your weight.

Eddie gave the kid a nod, gesturing for him to leave as he closed the metal lunch box in front of him. "We can do this another time, k?"

With that, the kid began gathering his things, quickly sprinting from the clearing, not that you were paying attention to him anymore. Your focus was locked on Eddie, who stood from the table, seething. His chest was rising and falling quickly, and you took note of the rings that decorated his tightly closed fists.

"You had no right to do that," He said, his voice shaky from adrenaline. He was taking slow, precise steps toward you, but you held your ground.

"And you have no right selling drugs to children," You said with a shrug, "I'm not the bad guy here, Ed. Targeting the young and vulnerable now, huh? I guess I shouldn't be surprised, you were always really good at being manipulative-"

Before you could keep grilling him, he grabbed you by the shoulders and shoved you backwards until your back hit the base of a tree, the impact softened by your thick jacket. Still, the air left your lungs as he pinned you against the rough bark, a dark look in his eye. Eyes that were still so pretty, a lovely shade of warm sienna in the autumn evening.

Even when he was looking at you like he wanted to murder you where you stood.

"I'm warning you," He muttered, his grip tightening on your shoulders. "If you tell anyone about this-"

"You'll what, Munson?" You challenged, "Not to burst your weird little bubble, but you don't fucking scare me anymore."

Eddie seemed taken aback by your words, his expression faltering and switching from murderous rage to remorse. It didn't last long before he pushed off of you, moving back over the to picnic table and covering his mouth with his hand. You watched him carefully as he lowered himself onto the bench, his back facing you. The chain attached to his tattered jeans clanked loudly against the old wood.

"What are you even doing here?" He asked finally.

You shrugged and slowly walked over to the table, crossing to the side opposite of Eddie to take a seat. "Honestly, I just had to ask you something."

"Oh, Christ," He said with an irritated laugh, "That's it?"

"It was an important question!"

Eddie crossed his arms over his chest and looked you up and down, his lower lip pulled between his teeth. "Well?"

"Okay, I know it sounds weird, but have you, um," You started, "Have you been having, like, weird dreams lately?"

"What?" Eddie asked, unable to hold back his laughter. "That's your important question?"

"Just answer it," You said, losing your patience.

"Jesus, you're pushy. No, I have not been having 'weird dreams'," He said, using air quotes. "Why? Are you trying to curse me in my sleep or something?"

You chewed your lower lip and considered telling him the truth. The thing was, if you did, there was no way he would ever believe a word of it. He already hated your guts, there was no reason for him to believe that you were attacked by an inter-dimensional demon two years ago and now you had vivid nightmares about it every single night.

Lowering your gaze, you shook your head and anxiously toyed with the sleeve of your jacket, pulling at the discolored Sherpa lining on the cuff. "It's nothing, forget I even asked."

"Seriously?" Eddie scoffed, "You said it was an important question! You interrupted a deal for this? God, you really haven't changed one bit, you still love making everything about yourself."

Sadness and anger mingled in your heart, making your chest tighten. How wrong he was, you thought, considering it was really about his safety more than it was your own. If he was having the dreams, too, you would know it meant something was wrong. But it was just you. In a way, that brought at least some relief.

"You know," Eddie went on, wetting his lips. "I used to think you were so cool, like, the coolest person I knew. Then you started hanging out with those assholes, and I realized I was wrong about you."

"You were always wrong about me, Eddie," You said, "Just not in the ways you think you were. Besides, you sell drugs to 'those assholes' now, so I don't think you're in a position to be judging my choices."

With that, you rose from your seat and started to make your escape. You made it to the track field, but Eddie was hot on your heels, grabbing you by the wrist and forcing you to a halt. You stopped in place, shooting him a deadly glare. When you tried to rip your hand away, he held on tighter, pulling you closer in the process.

"What the hell happened to you?" He asked, "You didn't used to be like this."

Unprompted memories of hundreds of saliva-covered fangs adorning a gaping mouth flashed through your mind, a low, gutteral growl accompanying the image. Bodies surrounded by pools of blood and carnage followed suit, making you shiver. For the second time you considered confessing to Eddie what happened to you back at Hawkins Lab, but your gut told you to do otherwise. If Eddie wasn't tied up in Brenner's mess, you wanted to keep it that way.

"I grew up, Eddie," You answered, swallowing hard. "I grew up, and the real world sucks. What happened to me is none of your business."

"Oh come on," Eddie groaned, "I answered your question, didn't I? I gave you the benefit of the doubt, why can't you do the same?"

"Let it go, Eddie," You warned. You fought against his hold which prompted him to grab at your other wrist, holding them both up in front of you. Struggle as you did, he was a lot stronger than he looked. You were closer now, the gap between your bodies smaller than before, so it was a lot harder to avoid eye contact, but you found a way.

"Did someone hurt you?" He asked, to which you responded by shaking your head. "Y/N, I'm serious, if someone did something to you-"

More images of splattered blood and desperate screams clouded your mind.

"-I need you to tell me-"

"You won't believe me!"

Eddie released your wrists and let them fall to your sides, one of his hands coming to rest near your elbow. "I might."

"Why do you even care?" You asked, laughing through tears that threatened to spill out. "You never gave a shit about anything except that stupid game-"

"Hey," Eddie interrupted sternly, both hands on your elbows now. "I always cared. I never stopped caring."

"Bullshit," You spat, "If you cared, you would've been there for me, and you weren't. You can't act like how you treated me was okay. You were my best friend and you gave up on that, not me."

Eddie's mouth fell open as if he had something to say, but clamped shut after a moment. He averted his gaze from you, looking up at the sky and closing his eyes while taking a deep breath, as if he was contemplating something. You pulled out of his grip and took a step back, watching as his head fell forward and he placed his hands on his hips.

The bell rang noisily behind you, startling you both. Not long after, students began slowly filing out from the doors, laughter and shouting filling the air. You turned back to Eddie, who was awkwardly scratching the back of his head and still avoiding your gaze.

"Are we done here?" He asked, clearing his throat. "I have shit to do."

"Yeah," You replied, "We're done here."

#i have two more chapters ready after this one #pls let me know if theyre wanted :)#i have worked so hard on this series lol #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson angst #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #tw blood #tw gore #tw drugs #mywriting #q

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hailperseusjackson · 6 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

finally getting around to this, thank you @astromechs for the tag!!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

327,391

3. What fandoms do you write for?

mainly star wars and marvel! though i don't write marvel as much anymore (the mcu really burned me too many times lol and just took away a lot of my inspiration/motivation to write for it). so mostly star wars nowadays, but occasionally i will sprinkle in a fic for a different fandom!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

a. we find ourselves when we lose everything else - 519 kudos

b. our time in the dark - 518 kudos

c. risk everything we have (and just let our walls cave in) - 426 kudos

d. if loves elastic (then were we born to test it’s reach) - 391 kudos

e. revelations (come to us in recovery) - 388 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

no 🙈. weirdly enough, i was a lot better about responding years ago on my ff. net account. but i don't really do it on ao3, honestly because i'm just a little lazy about it lol. but i promise i read every single one and know that if you've ever left a comment, i appreciate it so so much!!

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably broken things. it's a romanogers soulmate last words au which ended in a major character death. but you know. last words au, death. it made sense haha.

i've also written a couple canon-compliant character study type fics, including one for natasha romanoff, one for cassian andor/rogue one crew, some for leia organa (post-tfa), and well, none of those end very happily sooooo.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhhhhhhh why was this so hard asdffglkhglj. i write a lot of agnst and hurt/comfort lol. but my fic, the weight of your love, is just pure kanera fluff. and these two kanera fics that i've posted on tumblr (but not on ao3 yet), are just silly and fun and fluffy.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really, thankfully. i mean, i've gotten some not-so-nice comments in the past (again, mainly on ff.net) but i've never gotten anything super aggressive or confrontational, so i'm grateful to be in nice corners of fandom!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

occasionally yes. typically i insert my smut scenes into longer fics though. (i do have a bunch of unpublished half-written smut fics that i haven't gotten the courage to finish and post yet, bc i'm not always the most confident in my smut writing but maybe one day!)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not really. i'm not even the best at coming up with AUs, much less crossovers lol. i think the closest i've gotten to a crossover is an agents of shield/mcu crossover, which shouldn't even BE a crossover, but considering that the mcu never acknowledged AoS, it kinda feels like it is. anyway, wrote a fic where daisy johnson and bucky barnes are bffs, and i'm quite fond of it!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yeah :/ i had somebody take one of my fics and (related to next question) translate it and put it on wattpad. i couldn't message the author and my attempts to contact wattpad got me nowhere so i kinda just let it go.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

looking at last question, technically yes. but other than that, not yet! i would be very honored if someone wanted to translate one of my fics though, and would have absolutely no problem with it! (so long as they asked and didn't steal it asdkfsjd)

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

only bits and pieces of shared aus with friends for fun, but haven’t published anything.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

kanera and romanogers, hands down. kanan and hera are more recent, but i fell in love with both their characters and them as a couple so fast, and i absolutely love writing for them. they're going to stick with me forever. and steve and natasha.... my loves. fell in love with them when i saw catws the first time and haven't looked back. they've stuck with me the longest, i think. and even though i don't write marvel as much anymore, i still think about them a lot, and there's a lot of stevenat wips i have that i still hope to finish one day.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

whew ummmmm. there's a couple of romanogers fics (specifically finishing our time in the dark and the follow-up to revelations which is an endgame fix-it) that i have told myself i will finish. and i want to! but it will really take a major push to get me back into the headspace to write for marvel again. genuinely, endgame drained so much of the love and inspiration i had so 😔 i hope i can prove myself wrong one day!

i also have ambitions to do a star wars sequels rewrite, but it feels so big lol, so idk if i'll ever actually get around to finishing it. but the bits i have written for it i have so much love for.

16. What are your writing strengths?

digging deep into character emotions and their headspaces. that's something i really like exploring. also i think i'm pretty good about including small details, particularly with using the different senses and using those to help set the scene, and whatnot. in short, description and emotion are my strong suits!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

humor. i think i can be funny sometimes in my writing, but i definitely don't think i'm as good at humor as other people. and especially funny dialogue and banter, that's something i feel like i have to think about more. so still working on that!

i also don't know if this is a true weakness, but i literally don't know when to stop writing asdfljgldkj. i feel like lately it's so hard for me to write short fics (unless i do it in a mad burst in one sitting). but if i'm thinking a lot about a fic, chances are it's going to be 5k MINIMUM.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i'm not real comfortable with it, especially if i don't speak the language. if it's a very short phrase or a singular word, i will try to use a translator and other online investigating (and then nicely ask people to correct me in the comments if i'm wrong lol). but if i want to have the character speaking full sentences i will usually type it out in english and then use "they said in [insert language here]" as the tagline.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

if we're going wayyy back, technically the first fic i wrote was a bones fic when i was in middleschool lmao. i wrote it in a notebook, never published it online. but i first posted fics online in high school (as a freshman i think), and i think the first fics i published were for percy jackson and supernatural lol.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

probably revelations. looking at it now, there are certainly things i would change about this one, but i wrote it on and off for 3 years, so i was just really proud when i finally finished it. and there are still a lot of character moments i wrote into this one that i still love.

also you are my solid ground. plot does not really exist in this fic, but i had the best time writing the steve/nat/sam dynamic. literally dream trio.

(real talk, some of my fave fics are ones that i haven't finished yet/haven't published yet. i think my newest favorite fic is the kanan character study one i'm working on now. i still have a little bit to go, but i'm really close to finishing it, and i'm just so proud of it. there's so much about it that i love and i can't wait to share it (hopefully by the end of the year!)).

no pressure tagging: @effie-trinket and anyone else who would like to participate!

#this took me way too long lol #tag games #fanfic #my writing #mik chats

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enchantedlandcoffee · 10 months

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unrelated but how do you as a writer like REALLY get in ur element and focus, because im pretty sure i have adhd and it makes it hard to focus and everything i try besides classical music (sometimes) doesnt work

and my second question how do you get people to view your work/participate in it, i've been writing for 3 years in the fandom and a few people notice, and i know im supposed 2 be writing just for myself and i am, but i wanted it to kind of be a whole family thing like everyone being excited for updates and its a whole thing... idk if maybe no one cares anymore or no one really knows me

anyways sorry for my REALLY long winded ask, tysm if you read it

also here's this larry gif for you're troubles

all the love, louiscarrotsxoxo

hey!

thank you for reaching out and asking me this! I'm going to try my hardest to answer the best that I can (I thought I'd answer it before I left so I could help <3)

Getting focused and into the element

So I have ADHD as well and I know that getting focused can be tricky. Things that I do/have to help keep me focused are:

Writing Sprints - I sprint in Discord Servers with my friends and we all keep each other motivated and encourage each other

Discord Servers - So I'm in some really wonderful servers where we're all happy to cheer each other on writing wise (I'm going to link them in another part)

Inspiration- So, for most of my fics, I have a playlist that suits the theme and I try my hardest to make moodboards for them to get the feel of the fic. I'll also plan dialogue or even the layouts of flats/houses so I feel inspired to write about them.

I asked some friends in my Discord Server for help as well and this was their responss:

@chai-hat-tea said:

I don’t know about others, but usually having a deadline freaks me out enough to make me wanna complete my fic, even if it’s on the day of posting. And for that, I join fic fests. How that also helps me is because I also tend to tell myself that I owe it to the mod to complete the fic or else they’ll feel disappointed (and not tell me), so for their sake I need to complete fics. Joining fic fests also helps in the viewership of your fic, so once you have participated in a few fests, you might find it easier to build a somewhat decent enough crowd that enjoy your writing and want to read your stories. So once that happens, you can plan a long chaptered fic and then post chapters as and when you’re done and ready. So then you can guilt trip yourself by saying that now you have those people who are waiting for your story and you delaying is just making them wait longer and feel more disappointed lol

@loveislarryislove added:

Yeah I think a lot of it is building community, to pump you up or keep you accountable or help circulate things etc.

Getting people to view your work/participate in it

The first thing I'd like to say here is that you shouldn't define your work by statistics/interactions (a bit like what you said). Having said that, there are a few ways to try and increase your circle:

Make mutuals - There are some amazing people on this site who go out of their way to support each other. Try and get to know new people and interact with them.

Join Discord Servers - The servers I am currently in are amazing servers. My two main ones are @1d-library (ran by @larrysballetslippers and @larry-hiatus ) and @new-writers-discord (ran by me, @red-pandaaa @larrysballetslippers @hellolovers13 @babyhoneyheslt and @rockstarlwt28 ). 1D Library is a place for readers and writers to hangout, discuss fics, writing or day to day life. The New Writers Discord is a recent Discord server where we have New Writers, Writers and Mentors who write all types of stories (fics, original works, etc.). We have sprinting parties, workshops and are always there to help if need be.

Tagging Systems - this post contains all the tracked 1D tags where certain accounts will reblog posts with those tags. This is extremely useful for people who make things in the fandom.

Have fun - Try and enjoy yourself in the process. Interact with new people and make friends, create things for yourself as well as others.

I really hope this helps! I am not going to be online after today, but if you do have any more questions, feel free to email me on [email protected].

(and I love that gif 💕)

Ash <3

#asks #answered #advice

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echoesofadream · 7 months

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lol i don't mean they learned everything about misogyny from the west, i just meant it wasn't brought up much before they interacted more with the west. they obviously learned more about it in korea and feminists in korea. not saying the feminism movement isn't a movement there. i'm from the east, specifically india, which i've noticed is culturally similar in many ways to korea, i know feminism is a thing here and we don't learn feminism from westerners. just that some of us don't become aware of it so much until some interaction with the west where it's brought up all the time, like myself and my family. until i started becoming involved in political communities on the internet and learned about the misogyny prevalent in the west, i assumed this was the standard in the west simply because i became so aware of it because of the west.

sorry, ranting a bit because i saw @kpoplesbianism in the notes of my first ask say i was hinting that easterners learn about problematic stuff from the west, and that was xenophobia, and no. absolutely not. i am not xenophobic against my own fucking people. and i never said asian people or anyone from the east only learns about stuff from the fucking west. our own feminist movements have always been here, and have especially grown quite a lot in the last few years. i was talking from my own experience, and referring only to those of us wh happened to be made aware by the west. i was referring specifically to bts, due to the timeline of them becoming aware of their past misogyny aligning with them gaining more fans in the west who noticed it and were great enough in number to bring it to their attention.

about the rapper misogyny thing, yeah, i agree, since it's so prevalent in rap

I feel a bit weird about being in the middle of this ehh also to clarify I AM from the west so like. not the best person to talk about this? idk maybe because im also not too knowledgable about all this. also idk if this will like notify the user you tagged but if so then.... yeah idk this is a bit awkward um talk to each other instead

that said I think I understand what you mean dont worry. i understand you were only talking about your own experiences, and if bts got most of their backlash from their western audience like you said then ok! like feminism is perhaps (I dont know enough on this im more like speculating) a "bigger" movement here but its also more watered down I feel so its like, pointless that it is anyways. and I think where our opinions differ is when it comes to if we can hold jungkook accountable because I still think he should know better even if I also give him the benefit of doubt that he is clueless on this, not because he is from South Korea but because hes a clueless person lol. we already know he is at best ignorant since he performed at the world cup so.

but I guess what you mean is like, jungkook thinks that in the west you cant openly be misogynistic without so much backlash etc that it wouldnt happen anymore and thats why he blindly trusts even a male rapper to rap about having sex with several women. sure I guess. even thought that'd be stupid of him then sure. like he went "ok I guess thats okay then" but thats not enough of an excuse for me because he should know by his own that that is disgusting and not okay and objectifying like it shouldn't be about what is deemed okay or not it should be his own values and common sense.

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the-chickenshit-oddity · 1 year

Text

I posted 10,522 times in 2022

That's 8,112 more posts than 2021!

875 posts created (8%)

9,647 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@birdkeeperklink

@atypical-snowman

@tony-stark-ing

@kcsplace

@eventhorizon451

I tagged 2,680 of my posts in 2022

#stupid - 628 posts

#the-c-odd-prompt - 254 posts

#prompt - 196 posts

#cool art - 96 posts

#yes - 87 posts

#tony stark - 80 posts

#lol - 78 posts

#iron man - 69 posts

#lmao - 69 posts

#ironstrange - 65 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#in which steve is the cool uncle and charlie has a thing for bananas and danny has to stop steve from leavin the country cause he feels bad

My Top Posts in 2022:

Snape & Harry prompt

Make it shippy if you want, I'll keep it gen for myself.

Snape survives the war and when Harry goes back for his 8th year, Snape ignores him. No more insults, no more detention, no more asking him questions he doesn't have the answer to, nothing. Since it's after the war, Harry's a bit...traumatised, and feels kind of without a purpose, because he doesn't want to fight anymore but he also doesn't know anything else, much less what he wants to do. And so, his helper-complex kicks in and he thinks clearly Snape's traumatised too, so much so that he doesn't even enjoy his favourite pass-time anymore : tortuting Harry. So Harry's new purpose is to annoy Snape into being a giant dick again, and make him feel better. Except the whole dickishness (well, the extent of it anyway) was part of his spy gig so Snape doesn't wanna go back to it, but my god is that Potter kid a pain in his...backside.

125 notes - Posted March 24, 2022

Mystrade/Mycroft prompt

Mycroft's waistcoat is a bulletproof vest. Mystrade version is Greg finding that out the hard way.

126 notes - Posted March 7, 2022

All the ships

A's got some visible consequence of trauma ; maybe scars, maybe nervous ticks, maybe some obvious reactions to stuff, anything. B asks them about it and A lies, but A's a shit liar telling a shit excuse and they're in a bad place right now so when B just accepts it cheerfully, A thinks "oh, you don't care enough to call me on my bullshit". In the end, A realises "oh, you care enough to wait for me to be ready to talk about it"

144 notes - Posted March 14, 2022

All the ships:

Strangers to flirty Friends to Lovers to friendly Exes to ... Well after that you can choose what you want.

So, they used to date but for some reason they broke up and they thought "well we were friends before, we can be friends again now as exes, right?" but wrong because they weren't friends, they were flirty friends, the kind where the friendship is mostly based on the mutual attraction which prevents real connection because you wanna impress. So now they realise they've got nothing to talk about and friendly Exes become "haven't talked to you in weeks but no hard feelings" kind of strangers. And then they meet again and start over.

154 notes - Posted January 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

One prompt all the ships:

Soulmate AU where you have "the most meaningful touch" your soulmate ever gives you as, like, a birthmark.

A has a giant handprint all across their face, covering their mouth and cheeks. Obligatory angst of "oh shit my soulmate is violent/hates me/etc" until it turns out that B (the soulmate) actually saved their lives by preventing them from making a sound while danger was near (or something else non-evil).

(an example would be that scene where Klaus covers Caroline's mouth while 'saving' her from Psycho-Alaric ; another would be a high level of "shut up now before you say something you shouldn't" slam-my-hand-against-your-face thing)

449 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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emsylcatac · 2 years

Text

For project 25 913

Rated G

Thanks @ladyofthenoodle for the tag and your lovely comment about how much I adore Aspik, you shouldn't have 🥰

(sorry in advance for any English mistakes and all, I haven't been beta-ed and I probably didn't re-read this as much as I should have lol, anyway this is messy)

* * * * *

“You know Ladybug, actually I’m also Chat Noir and I’ve loved you ever since our eyes met—”

Left wrist, flick. Rewind. Repeat.

He’s getting so used to it he’s pretty sure he’s gotten a new tic by now that he’ll unconsciously do whenever he’ll mess something up, even in his everyday life.

Adrien takes a deep breath before opening his eyes to meet Ladybug’s enthusiastic ones, a stark contrast with the incredulous expression she harboured seconds before (later? Timeloops is a confusing concept, and his brain is a mess). He’s not quite sure what it meant, and he wonders what she would have said had Desperada not gotten her (again).

Ladybug’s excited voice pulls him out of his thoughts. “You’ll get five minutes before—”

“—before I detransform, I know.” He doesn’t like interrupting her, but while it could seem that endless five minutes loops leave them with all the time in the world, they don’t. Not really. “We’ve been through this before.”

“Oh.” He hates how Ladybug’s enthusiasm drops a little every time he says it. “But,” Ladybug speaks again, her eyes lighting up, “it means you’ve been perfect at saving me! I’m sure we’re going to succeed! We’re gonna make an amazing team!”

He hates even more her renewed hope and optimism every time he lets on that they failed, because he can feel that it’s all vain. Something in the back of his mind tells him they’ll never succeed, has been telling him that for a few loops now but his brain shuts it down each time because he cannot fail her. She chose him, so surely she’s right and he has to keep going. He’s desperate, really, to know there’s no hope but to still try again and again and again — he’s pretty sure by now that he’s more desperate than Desperada herself. Really, Hawkmoth should just desakumatise her to akumatise him instead if he wants to succeed.

“It’s weird that Chat Noir hasn’t come back by now,” Ladybug muses, oblivious to Adrien’s inner turmoil. “But oh, well, I’m sure we don’t need hi—”

“He’s not gonna come,” Adrien interrupts before he can hear the end of that particular sentence again. If they don’t need Chat Noir-him and if they still don’t succeed with Adrien-Aspik-him, then do they really need him at all?

Ladybug blinks. “Why so?”

Before he can think better of it, he answers truthfully: “Because he’s me.”

There. For a short time, he’s bare before her.

Whether it’s despair pushing him to batantly tell her who he is or to satisfy his curiosity, because he still wonders what her expression from the last loop meant, Adrien doesn’t know. But he knows that in less than five minutes from now, she’ll have forgotten all about it anyway.

Ladybug’s eyes are just as incredulous as the last time he said it. “That’s a joke, right?” she nervously says after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence.

Adrien snorts without humour, and for a split second, he considers telling her it is. “It really isn’t.”

Ladybug stares one, two, five, ten seconds, opens her mouth, closes it, and when it’s apparent that she’ll be stuck in that frozen state for a little while and Adrien can’t really take it anymore, he speaks again.

“I’m Chat Noir, it’s the two-thousand-and-thirteenth time loop, and I still can’t save you.” He passes a hand over his too-smooth and hairless head, regretting that his fingers can’t get stuck in any lock. “We’ve been at it for probably a week now, and did you know that the loops don’t tire you? Because technically I haven’t slept in a week and guess what,” he lets out a sort of delirious laugh, “I’m still not sleepy!”

With that, he gives her two thumbs up. Ladybug is still looking at him like he’s grown a second head, or maybe it’s because he’s just told her he hadn’t slept in a week. He too would look at anyone claiming this with raw disbelief.

He sighs, reaching for his bracelet. “A-anyway, sorry about that and the wasted loop, I don’t know what came over me. So I’ll just…rewind and—”

“No, wait,” she finally snaps out of her stupor, and places her hand on his wrist. “Don’t.”

Adrien stops moving, watching her intently. Ladybug’s hand drops from his wrist and she raises shaky fingers to his cheek instead, to which he can’t help but gasp . She turns his face with the tips of her fingers, as if afraid to touch him, and stares. He keeps on looking right into her eyes, trying to read what’s going on behind them but failing for the first time in their partnership.

“You…you really are Chat Noir?” she finally asks with a breath, like she still doesn’t quite believe it’s him.

“Yeah, it’s me, my Lady.”

Ladybug inhales sharply at the nickname, and drops his face at once to cover her mouth instead.

A glance at his timer indicates that they only have two minutes left now. He should probably rewind. It’s not like he believes that they can beat Desperada in two minutes. But she asked him not to, so he doesn’t.

Ladybug still looks shocked, and he feels his lips contorting in a pained smile in the face of her apparent lack of enthusiasm—he bets that she thinks he’s the worst partner ever if he still can’t save her after two-thousands-and-thirteen times.

“I’m sorry, you’re probably super disappointed that your superhero partner isn’t capable of protecting you,” he shrugs. “You probably hate me now, and honestly I can understan—”

“No!” she shouts. “I don’t love you—I mean! I don’t hate you. You’re bald—Urgh, no not that, forget I said this.” She shyly puts a strand of hair behind her ear, looking to the side. “I’m just…I’m just surprised, is all.”

“Oh.” He can feel his cheeks heating up. She doesn’t hate him! That’s great, right?

“We’ll…we’ll walk later—talk later,” Ladybug says, looking back at him. “After the saddle—after the battle. First we need to defeat Barbapapa!”

He’s surprised Ladybug seems okay with knowing his identity, when she’s always been adamant they keep it a secret, but he’s not about to question it. Maybe her knowing who he is will make it all work. Still, he can’t shake off the feeling that this time will be no different than all the previous loops. That he’ll keep on failing and failing, and he doesn’t know how long he can still last.

“Right. But we haven’t succeeded so far.” He tries not to sound too bitter, but he knows he’s doing a bad job at it.

Ladybug gently grabs his wrist and smiles shyly, making him melt inside and forget about all his worries for an instant. “I’m sure we will. Even if we don’t this time and I forget… You know, I believe in you.”

Adrien is pretty sure his face is burning by now. Ladybug’s eyes widen, and she quickly turns around to hurriedly climb up the scale and poke her head outside.

She believes in him. In all of him. She still thinks he can do it.

So, even as he sees her instantly vanish once again with a sharp heartache, even as his fingers automatically reach for his wrist and he flicks his bracelet again knowing she would forget all about who he is, he feels like he could live through another thousands of time loops if that’s what it takes.

Left wrist, flick. Rewind. Repeat.

So long as he remembers that she believes in him.

#myshitwriting #ml fanfic #ladrien #desperada #project 25913 #yeah I wanted to write a crappy reveal what about it #can't believe that's what I drop after months of writing silence #hopefully I can finish my current 2 tips before the end of the year #*wips

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