#maybe everyone will drop me so i wont have these problems anymore

[xamaxenta]

Suddenly feeling incredibly dysphoric in this chilis tonight

#and like im faking this shit #as usual #i fucking hate gender lmao #i have so little love for physical gender #and outward identity #i just want everyone who ever encounters me to just say it or they or them or that person #at this point im so digusted i dunno if i even want masc pronouns anymore #🙃🙃🙃 when will my suffering end #whenever i die unfulfilled i guess. authentic self what the fuck is that? #the possibility to do anything for myself is extremely low. all the people in this country who are trans cant even get a good job #all the workplaces be like we dont discriminate!!!! yeah you do actually #i hate being closeted i hate existing like this. #i hate feeling like im lying to myself or something. #i hate the concept that if i try to help myself i wont be taken seriously #idk maybe im bitter the psych who was supposed to help me just dropped me and left the country and said theyre not doing online and gave #me no other contact to further whatever this shit is #also im poor so i cant afford insurance that could possibly even begin to cover any of my problems #negative sims symbol lol #➖➖🧍 #is it bad that i more or less think about dying every day????? #its bad right #i dont have suicidal ideation #i just think about it. #idk. i dk idk idkc how to continue fucking living like this

[coeurify]

I have no idea how this would fit into an storyline but I am a hoe for fake dating. Imagine fake dating with abby and it slowly becoming too real

UGH YOU GET ME FAKE DATING IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE TROPES!!

⋆˚✿˖° now, abby anderson had a problem. specifically a blonde, brown eyed loud mouthed man of a problem. owen fucking moore. she had broken up with him in the summer time, little explanation given to the ass of a boyfriend other than that she needed to “find herself.” (not that she needed to give any.)

⋆˚✿˖° but owen? oh owen didn’t accept that. so from the very moment abby had broken it off, to when the air began to smell like fall.. he pestered abby. asked for a reason, begged for another chance (despite HIM going around with damn near every girl on the WLF compound.)

⋆˚✿˖° things came to a head at a get together in one of abby and owen’s mutual friend’s apartment style quarters. mutual friend who also happened to be your roommate.

⋆˚✿˖° abby and owen fought all night, abby’s cheeks red from embarrassment and anger, eyebrows furrowed together. “why can’t you just take no for an answer owen?“ the cup in her hand crackled a bit under the pressure when the man scoffed. “because you never give me a real answer!” abby’s arms crossed at that, searching around the room. quickly, and maybe a little impulsively, she shrugged. “i’m into someone else now.”

⋆˚✿˖° owen just couldn’t accept that, his arms thrown around dramatically. “so you like another guy? that’s why you wont give me another chance? you know i can treat you better.” that sentence alone reminded abby just why she hated being with him so much, but again that fast moving brain of hers spoke before the thought could finish, finger pointing in the direction of the first person she found.. you. “it’s not a guy. it’s a girl. im not.. into your..” abby made a motion, “species anymore.” sure, it was sort of true. abby recently realized she probably had a thing for girls, but you particularly? she couldn’t count on her fingers the amount of conversations she had with. “i like her.”

⋆˚✿˖° you, who’s head poked up, mouth full of slightly stale chips, having heard the whole conversation. abby anderson, beautiful, funny, madeyouweakintheknees, abby anderson was into you? and not straight? surely not. you swallowed harshly, deciding to play into whatever game abby seemed to have set on the floor. you made your way over, an award winning smile on your face as owen’s mouth dropped open further than a damn infected. “You like her? as in girls?”

⋆˚✿˖° honestly, you probably caused more trouble when you stood near the two, “abs!” you grinned, “you forgot your jacket here.. cmere ill grab it for you.” and then your hand is wrapped around her tensed bicep, the stiffness likely caused by her pure shock you even played along. still, she used it as an out from the devil with blonde locks, shrugging almost apologetically at owen before letting you whisk her away.

⋆˚✿˖° and that night, after everyone but you and abby had stumbled out of the cramped room, which was still humid and heavy, you made the plan. with a pen that had little ink left, scratching against the water damaged pages of the notebook you tucked under your pillow, you wrote the words “project get rid of owen moore.” which ok, in retrospect sounded really bad. but you were a little tipsy.

⋆˚✿˖° the plan was easy. play the role of abby’s first girlfriend, convince owen she was totally not into him or men anymore. what did you get out of it? a spot on the top dog abby anderson’s patrol team. something you had been vying for this year. abby agreed, although a little hesitantly. she promised she had picked you only because its who her pointed finger found first. not any actual attraction. you swallowed down the hit to your ego that brought.

⋆˚✿˖° and honestly? the plan went on pretty steadily. you were a damn good fake girlfriend if you had to admit it, and abby didn’t hate being around you. in fact, she really enjoyed being around you. she enjoyed how easily your fingers reached down, tapping on her palm to fing a way to hold her hand whenever one of owen’s posey was around. she enjoyed how you leaned in whenever owen passed by, your lips on her ear, whispering anything you knew would have her smiling. a fake smile of course.

⋆˚✿˖° you two had some pretty strict rules. no kissing, no extreme touchiness, absolutely no spilling to anyone this was fake, and the most important.. no real feelings. you had come up with a backstory, one you two had studied together. (you two met in the training room after your roommate introduced you two and totally hit it off. abby got you a spot on her team next to her and manny, and feeling bloomed from there.) abby added in a few details she knew would piss owen off.. and you sealed your lips shut to follow the rules.

⋆˚✿˖° the first few weeks were easy. you liked spending time around abby. you enjoyed how she smiled, you laughed at all the jokes she cracked (for the fake dating points of course..), and you loved training with her. you had to ignore the shiver her hands on your shoulders or waist gave, knowing it was just to help your position. “you have to fix your stance if you plan on fighting scars..” abby huffed.

⋆˚✿˖° the problem started in october. a month and a half into your fake dating plan. tens of lunches spent alone together, a handful of new hair styles you begged to try on abby, and around 5 missions out of the base, in. there was a party, one you demanded the two of you go to one day as you lounged on abby’s bunk— watching as she cleaned up manny’s mess across the room. “if we dress up together, owen will totally finally get off your case,” you assured, bringing a loud sigh from the blonde. “oh my god.. fine.”

⋆˚✿˖° you went as a angel and devil, simple enough to easy stitch together some devil horns for yourself and an angel halo you found in an old broken down store in the city for abby. no way did you admit the trouble you went for to find it to abs, especially not as she easily pulled her shirt off in front of you, totally clueing you in to where the nickname came from as she shoved on the white teeshirt.

⋆˚✿˖° see, the no kissing rule was an important one, but vodka made everything seem less important, and owen was awfully loud that night, scoffing any time you smiled and leaned into your angel, head band tilting off your head, which abby fixed with a grin. “you two act more like friends than people fucking each other,” owen scoffed as he pressed by you two, the words pounding in abby’s ears over the loud mingling voices.

⋆˚✿˖° “kiss me,” abby called over the old cd that played on the speakers, her cheeks red with anger— blue eyes flicking around. “what?” you laughed, thinking back to rule number 1. “i know we said no— no kissing but i just.. oh my god just kiss me,” abby muttered, her large hands gripping your cheeks and pulling you in for a kiss, one she was sure owen was watching on to. one you melted into, sucking her lip in between yours.

⋆˚✿˖° that had been a breaking point, ragged breaths and heated necks as you pulled away. it lead to more excuses with less validity being used when the two of you stared at each other’s lips. stepping down the stairs of the base, eyes catching on someone who just looked like owen. “kiss me,” abby muttered quickly, and you wasted no time to turn your head and fill your nose with the scent of pine as you leaned in.

⋆˚✿˖° the no kissing rule crossed off right before the no touchiness one did, that one had been scribbled off completely when abby began pulling you into her lap in group functions, one soft hand rubbing up against your side as she whispered in your ear, “jus’ for show.”

⋆˚✿˖° just for show of course, but you screamed into your pillow for so long that night you almost thought the walls of your room would crumble down along with the barrier you put between you and the blonde.

⋆˚✿˖° kisses and touchiness turned to nights spent in abby’s room, mornings waking up and having abby’s shirt thrown at your face. “wear that, owen got it for me when we were dating.” sure, you probably should be ashamed to be wearing the clothes of a girl who didn’t like you, but the frown on owen’s face made it worth it.

⋆˚✿˖° that last rule, the one that didn’t have pen strokes over the letters, the one locked behind awkward coughs and side glances, well you weren’t sure who broke it first. you dont know why feelings came into play, but you sure do know it happened.

⋆˚✿˖° you felt it first when abby didn’t talk to you for a few days. you saw her across the stadium with nora, her head tilted back lightly in a laugh at something the other girl said. that was the first time you felt the needle sized ache in your heart, one that only ripped further when owen shoulder checked you on his way by, “better get your girl. she slips away easily.”

⋆˚✿˖° maybe that rule had been broken when abby stormed into your room, met with the sight of you on the couch with some other blonde girl, an old tape of a southern movie mid way through when anderson scoffed and demanded the girl get out. she did so in a hurry, scrambling for her sweatshirt as a frown grew on your lips. “abby what the fuck?” you scoff, watching her eyebrows unfurrow lightly. “you can’t have other girls over! it fucks with our plan,” she accused, though she stumbled lightly over the words. “she’s just a friend, abby.”

⋆˚✿˖° however, the night you sat in your bed, breath heavy and eyes stinging as you broke through the paper with the pen, scratching over the words “no real feelings,” that came in the end of november.

⋆˚✿˖° your head was pressed into abby’s shoulder, yawning and closing your eyes as the movie played on a big sheet, a biweekly occurrence in the WLF base. abby had pressed to your cheek, placing a kiss to it that had some sort of butterfly attack take fruition in your stomach. you two didn’t even know if owen or his friends were around, and they for sure were not the reason of abby’s hand linking into yours as you two walked toward her room later that night. you both seemed to realize that when you reached her door and she leaned forward just lightly, as if to kiss you.

⋆˚✿˖° she cleared her throat, licking over the lips you wanted to capture again. “i think-” she said suddenly, squeezing her eyes closed. “i think owen really believes it now.” you could feel your heart sinking to the empty stomach that laid below your chest, knowing what came next. “i think we should break up.” abby finished, quick to add, “fake break up.”

⋆˚✿˖° you nodded along silently to the story she built still standing in her doorway. miscommunication, arguments, differing plans, the whole shebang— anything to make the breakup believable. you agreed, but the moment her door shut, a half smile and thank you sitting on her lips as the door locked, you felt the tears prick your eyes.

⋆˚✿˖° you wiped quickly at the tears, your hand slapped over the aching chest you swore betrayed you. you sucked in shallow breaths, shaky hands finding your own door as your vision went blurry.

⋆˚✿˖° as your pen broke through the white sheet of paper, you cursed your own heart. you cursed it for being so easy to rip from your chest, presented on a platter for a blonde who only saw it as a fake replica. you threw the notebook across the floor, hand slapping over your mouth so your roommate wouldn’t wake as you sobbed into it. surely you had been the only one to break that rule, but that didn’t matter now.

⋆˚✿˖° but you were wrong. not that you could know that. a five minute walk away, abby breathed out slowly as her fingers scraped though the braid she was undoing, an odd stinging pricked at the corner of her lashes. she knew she did the right thing. she knew it as soon as her lips searched for your own at her doorway tonight. so why did it feel so bad? why did her hands tremble as she pulled out her blanket and climbed under it, squeezing her eyes shut.

⋆˚✿˖° if this was all fake, why did the break up feel so real?

#rins reqs ❀. #abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson x y/n #abby anderson x fem reader #abby anderson x f!reader #abby anderson fic #abby anderson fanfic #abby anderson fluff

[431989]

more resident alien posting. predictions... spoilers so beware

well. i'm upset that the shows going to have a difficult time having more serious scenes now. and that's probably what it's going to try and set itself up for.

i reaaaally would have loved to see this show do something ACTUALLY different and good. by different i mean in terms of writing and not necessarily drifting from source material. yes i'm still sour over last ep, but i wouldn't be AS sour if everyone on the show didn't treat harry and asta's relationship as "mother and child." and also if the show didn't take such a nose dive into the type of comedy it's putting out.

ALSO? IN A RECENT INTERVIEW? Sheridan going on to state that harry would lose his first """love""" (more like lust. awesome that a show trying to teach human emotion gets those two things mixed up) and then realize there's love everywhere or something? why does this feel like "weird" people are forever left to the role of outcasts. already fucked it up once i guess the guy's trying to fuck it up more. could've just left it at "he'll lose his first love, then he will have to reconcile with his feelings." but he had to drop in that last corny bit.

like. the show's source is already good. i don't understand all these decisions they're making to try and make it seem "unique." and now to get numbers back they're dumbing it way down. WHICH. BY DOING SO. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE YOUR DRAMA? like how am i supposed to take anything seriously in the show. i *could* in season 1 and parts of season 2, but now it's just whatever. it's too goofed up for me to care. and now people who love the goofy won't give two shits about whatever message you want to drop or plot you want to develop. i dont give a shit about the greys!!! i dont care what theyre doing!!!! who gives a fuck if theyll blow up the earth. none of the characters really care anymore either. oh well!!!

also, predictions kind of. i'm not trying to say this will be the be all end all but it certainly could be a turn the show takes. in one of the issues of the comic (suicide blonde i think), harry is investigating the "suicide" of a woman. by the end of the issue, he catches up with her ex-lover and ex-roommate. they were both ladies. and the girl who died had a drinking problem btw. and was constantly seeing boys. i'm all for gay couples on screen as a gay guy myself but it'll feel so cheap to pair darcy and asta together despite the way theyve been played on screen. maybe its doable. i don't know. but i genuinely could care less considering the overall tone of the show's drifted more towards a sitcom than anything else. i think the small handful of 40+ year old gay wine moms would probably love it, but the vast majority of viewers wont. either they'll hate it and say it's forced diversity (there's already people saying that about the gay couple on screen this past episode) or it'll be another nothing moment to a further nothing story. if anything it'd feel one step removed from tokenization, considering they see harry as a manchild. ableism! show's trying to seem fucking wholesome but they can't be bothered to care about their nd viewers. like "haha look we have a main gay couple!!! what do you *mean* our show has rampant ableist tropes, we have a gay couple!"

i'm just so bummed. the show's cornered itself into a sitcom so meaningful moments aren't a thing anymore. plus the comparison of harry to a child is really getting at me. like he's a grown man as a human, and hes a grown alien thing as an alien. it's such a big slap in the face to any person who cherished the witty and unique story telling of the first season... like.... i don't know.... people who would've been fans of the comic too? i have small gripes about the comic, but at least it takes itself more seriously. but the show runners haaate the people who read the comics. why? i dont know. well maybe i do know. probably seen as too nerdy and weird for their idea of the show's viewerbase. despite the fucking basis of the show being weird and nerdy.

they couldve done the darcy asta thing better if they do go down that road. i'm just saying i wouldn't be surprised. they already scared off everyone who would've cared for something like that, so i don't know how they'll manage to find an audience that cares. everything in s1 was so organic and felt real!!!!! now its just!!! nothing!!!!!!!!!!

im also thinking about the fact that after posting that one resident alien drawing i did, i've had to block tons of people because they're freaks. loud and proud conservatives. man this shit sucks.

#resident alien #ra posting #sorry this one's kind of long #i'm still mad #i'll still keep up i guess out of spite #no i'm not paying for shit either LOL #i'll also clarify that i was in a sleepy daze when reading the comic #so i could've glazed past some things or the connection i made in my sleepy daze might not make sense now #which do correct me on that #but buhhhhh #whatever!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #god forbid a guy have meaningful development in a show he cares about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #also for anyone tempted to read the comic its written by two english guys so. keep that in mind i guess. #this is alllllll making me want to make my own thing #guhh #tbvh the show took out a lot of the comics... mysticism... but then the show shat all over the work they did to make it real and charming #flanderization hit it hard #feels way more tokeny. and also harry atp is nothing more than described as a manchild #EDITTING IN THE TAGS THEY DID CALL EACH OTHER FAMILY DIDNT THEY #technically they hadnt done that yet for asta and harry on screen i dont think but the interviews are still there #god what a mess

[hellonerf]

OHH same anon as lasg time!!! now rhat we have confirmation of relationships can we maybe get a list of em?

OK... i will try my best... keep in your mind i am ame guy i always think about ame its a torturous existence but i will use this opportune to explain my 2ptalia. i wont make a list cz thats hard so i'll just write as much as i can. long paragraphs here we go

2p fra and 2p eng live in the manor and he's the head of the household there (of like two people lol). 2p eng plays the role of a stay at home mother and 2p fra the father. years back meri and nada lived there as the kids. 2p eng likes playing house but he wants full control of the house so its suffocating for the others. meri especially had always needed particular kinds of help and rejected alot of 2p england's ways. but 2p eng was also very particular about things so they clashed really badly. 2p eng fed him shit like human meat idk how to fit this in but this old 2p thing is so funny to me i have to keep it anyways that was a thing meri was kind of the problem child there. 2p eng did not like meri lol but it was under layers of strange lying and false affections

nada was like... a lying kid he'd just go with what was told of him quietly and kind of halfassedly to get things done. but he also would try to cool down situations to keep himself and meri safe. he fed meri wild berries or whatever other foods that meri wouldn't get sick from and puke out so he didn't end up seriously malnourished... a good older brother. if not a little aloof. (and meri could be difficult sometimes because. you know. obviously. and nada didnt always know how to respond to him properly). he is all annoyed by meri Now bcz of how clingy and needy he is and how meri seems to want him to prioritize his needs over nada's own. meri doesn't intend this but nada to him is someone who'd never drop him anyways and meri wants to feel whatever counts as happy at the moment (does whatever he wants lol).

2p fra is useless husband lol ok but he is a sad sad guy and he doesnt gaf anymore and just stays in the manor and during the brothers childhood mostly turned the other way. he can garden tho theres that! also 2p eng can actually cook he just does shit but he can cook well. hes demanding of his husband and purposefully difficult sometimes... likes testing him.

nada and 2p eng's relationship is a lot better but nada holds his tongue a lot anyways. they get along pretty okay and meri is like im really chill about that (not really)(but well nada likes me more than him anyways... he'll always take my side no matter what he tells england...). meri thinks 2p fra hates him too but 2p fra doesnt he just doesnt gaf about those damn kids. after meri and nada ran away 2p fra was like well i guess this family doesnt really have kids anymore. and 2p eng waslike no they just left for college. (2p fra: college doesnt exis.t.. okay). now meri and nada adventures the small deserted world they live in on a shitty motorcycle doing errands and jobs for people.

now for other guys. 2p ita is an asshole to like everyone but he gets things done. he keeps things in line in most of the area though some people dont listen to him even if he threatens them. he's pretty aware of whats his strengths and what isnt so hes calculating about who and how he exerts control... hes the one who figured out the very faraway portal door to 1p world. he lives in a long asymmetric tower that looks like a radio tower... 2p ger works here for him and basically lives there too. 2p ger is a kind of mechanic thats weirdly clumsy but also really good at his work. (2p ger gives us gratuitous fanservice from tripping over lines that werent there previously and 2p ita pops three whole blood vessels at once!) 2p jp is the bodyguard ish. but he kind of hates being under people so he doesnt always listen to his bosses. (2p ita knows how to get him to listen tho even if its a hassle). 2p ita hires meri and nada to do shit sometimes (mostly nada cz meri is worse at listening than him. but meri shows up there anyways so they get to know each other's working styles). they dont like each other but due to a job now 2p ger, meri, and nada all know about the door so he has to figure out to keep them in check about it

2p pru is 2p ger's older brother that was a major deal but lost his whole arm!!! and is now weak and sad. so 2p ger mostly takes care of him and his mechanical arm. 2p ger has little loyalty to people, but he takes care of his brother anyways. he'd probably sell him out lol but then take care of him after anyways.

2p roma is on the radio Oh i forgot to mention everyone has a little walkie talkie or radio that connects to the radio tower and this is like their only source of entertainment (unless germy lets them borrow his shitty laptop) and well communication of sorts. anyways hes on the radio always and has to keep coming up with material and sometimes has to pretend like hes 2p ita when giving announcements... 2p ita thinks hes annoying and thinks whatever "entertainment" he gives on the radio sucks ass but they got each others backs anyways.

2p japan as i said is a kind of bodyguard but he's very protective of his work and also not friendly like at all. 2p chi is not rly his mentor but they keep running into each other anyways. 2p chi is kind of true idgaf guy he lives in one of the houses closer to the radio tower because its convenient and he couldnt care less about the other people around. he keeps a lot of old things in his house like old jewelry old trinkets just old old things of their world. he might've been the one who found the laptop and just gave to it to 2p ger just cz he asked. 2p ger gets his mechanical materials from him because nobody else keeps shit they find cause they suck and are lazy. so germys always like man that guys the best! and 2p japan grits his teeth and stars come out from him gritting his teeth cz of how hard he grit his teeth. 2p chi does not gaf abt 2p japan of course its like a weird beef... he keeps the old trinkets because its useful and he might find a thing or two that makes his life more convenient... if not he'll sell or give them away. he listens to the radio and thinks it sucks but not much else to do.

2p spain is a little further away from the radio tower but he's there. he lives in someplace that looks like a church but if you walk in its basic house interior. he is a shit guy but knows and keeps and sells information around here. 2p ita has beef with him for that(but its fine... he's a patient guy... kgh...) and instead of talking directly for managing stuff he just sends 2p roma to do it.(romas like i dont rly wanna... but fine.. cz im just rly charitable...) 2p spain likes throwing glass at people thats just a thing he does. meri and nada doesnt like doing jobs for him but he pays a lot so they do it anyways. 2p ger wouldnt mind working for him but 2p spain doesnt trust his weird mechanics and technology... he does things manually. of course he doesnt know but many things of his house runs on the same mechanics...

2p russia is closer to the radio tower than 2p spain is but relatively not close. he likes keeping the plants and ecosystem in this world alive because nobody else is managing it. (2p fra would but he's in that fuckass manor all the time... this pisses 2p rus alot cz instead of being useful to the environment hes just There). meri has no idea but the only reason there was wild berries all around and various non-meat food is cz of 2p rus. 2p rus barely knows of him tho he just hears abt them like oh those two who would do anything for a little piece of money. 2p russia always has the radio on because information is valuable even if right now its just a shitty improvised soap opera on the radio... he doesnt like other people and only interacts if he must.

aaand i forgot to mention but 2p eng's manor has one singular radio connected to the radio tower but its like always turned off and hidden. 2p eng doesnt like 2p ita and doesnt agree with how he runs things at all and is the one who is most uncooperative with him. thats why 2p eng is really secluded living in the manor... he's the furthest away from the radio tower. 2p ita thinks hes a freak but hes mostly not causing trouble for him so he lets him do whatever that shit is.

#ask #2ptalia #fuck this took a lot #okay here u gooo

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

for blorbo bingo I desire your opinion on gay clown nikolai, liddol guy mika, and/or babygirl genius architect kaveh <3

he was having a girl moment

unfortunately. his silly swag caught up to me and before i knew it i was excited when u started liking him dhdhshaj

ywah

understandable i think. he'd let me maybe

MY SON MY BABY. i can fix him. and by that i mean he can stay in my teapot and i can work out a custody arrangement. or hand him over to kaveh

mikas got like a lot of problems that i think everyone like. overlooks. he doesn't want to be a burden more than anything, and is seemingly terrible at saying no to people. him and noelle are plenty similar in this regard, the only difference being that mika is a member of the knights already. he's not just socially awkward, but cares about the reputations of the superiors he represents. he's not just shy, but is terrified of making himself a burden to others. in almost every voiceline he has he says something like 'i wont drag you down' or 'ill take some weight off your shoulders'. in his wounded voicelines he says he'll be fine or alright. in his gift 3 he says he'll finish eating the disgusting food because you went through the trouble of making it for him. in his about mika V he says he's fine with whatever anyone thinks of him.... AS LONG AS HE'S NOT CAUSING TROUBLE FOR ANYONE. mika is also an incredibly intelligent man! hes the ONLY person who can use the mapmaking gadget he has with ease. why? because, and i quote, "This function can greatly improve the accuracy of a map, but regrettably, everything else — including the statistical information and calculations regarding the terrain in question — has to be computed in the user's mind". Mika is constantly doing mental calculations to use this gadget, and he's the ONLY surveyor who can. Also

his issues regarding wanting to be completely confident in what he says lest they reflect badly on varka and eula are sooo me fr fr

mika my son boy

i cant live normally now that i know abt him. i cant look at him the same. hes not just the nerdy sounding little german boy hes a guy to me

theres so much lost potential in not having him in more stuff. just like heizou mika needs more events. i honestly thought he'd be a focus in weinlesefest because thats where he was introduced but???? they didn't??? it makes me so fucking angry. also i want expanded venti mika friendship

preemptively

:))))))))

HES SO UNDERRATED AND THERES NOT ENOUGH OF HIM GHHH BITING YOU

why does everyone think that he's like. the dumb one. he's literally equally smart as haitham, and is stated to have the closest understanding of true wisdom. in NAHIDAS WORDS. they also dont understand his mommy issues. his father may have died but he lost his mother that day too. and he'll never have her back. hes was doing the emotional labor in that relationship and then she left him!!!! she started a new life in fontaine!!!! her last bit of family, her son, wasn't able to make her happy anymore. was he not enough? do you understand

its less they dropped the ball of kaveh and more they dropped the ball on haitham. which fucks it up for kaveh. if haitham is always right when we see him then we dont see how kaveh reflects and improves him. and if kaveh always loses then of course he seems dumb :/

kaveh 💕💕💕

i can. i can do it watch me

hes literally gorgeous???? stunning???

its less that I hate him and more that im so concerned for him. i fundamentally can't understand why he'd pour his all into the palace of alcazarzaray despite everything else. id kill him for that. which is why hes so fucking well written

you understand

see: point about haitham

stares at you. stares at you. stares at you.

MORE KAVEH NOW. HIS INTERACTIONS ARE SO INTERESTING AND I NEED MORE OF IT ‼️‼️‼️

#caps cw #swearing cw #longer post #long post #aethers asks #ask game #as u can see im so normal

[disproportionatelysculpting]

Have you ever had a relationship with GOD/YHWH? Have you asked HIM things, for help/understanding?

What is stopping you from pursuing a life w/ someone WHO will never leave you and has your best at heart?

𝗔𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗱: 'If you do not know where you want to go, then it doesn't matter which path you take.'

I'm always saying I don't know what is happening or why I'm feeling despondent

— so I agree we don't know how to live.

We're all unique snowflakes, but I think divorce & drugs and alcohol exists so we can try to calm down from all the anger and rage we feel when 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 — or the way we want to be treated or remembered.

1.]  If 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝗺𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗿,       Hell is basic entry level for everyone, &

2.]  If GOD sent HIS SON to die on the cross in our       place to avoid this Hell and lead us thru life by       HIS HOLY SPIRIT; &

3.]  HE says there is only 1-way forward & JESUS       is the way/truth/life, that no one comes to       the FATHER except thru JESUS. [John 14:6]

Why would we ever avoid HIS easy yoke? Why wouldn't we ask HIM in to show us the way?

We clearly don't have life/truth/way to GOD, unless we accept JESUS, & life/death begins forever after we're ejected from earth.

I wonder if you were to die in your sleep suddenly: Are you ready to be drop-kicked into eternity?

Case in point...

Rose you say you think about your mentor Albert a lot that he passed away suddenly [5:37] maybe that's the take away lesson here:

In the Bible it says there was a rich man who had so much money/wealth that he was thinking to himself he had more than enough to retire & live at ease for the rest of his life.

The problem was,

Luke 12:20 | ²⁰ But GOD said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be required of you. Then who will own what you have accumulated?’

this is gonna be long, cause i have been wanting to write over this for a while*deep breathes*

lets start from 1st fact that I, am NOT Christian or into it by any means, I am a HINDU and I do not think I am the religious enough to fit in the criteria.

now lets talk about my relation with God, I do appreciate the "good" teachings of every religious texts and things, but I do not think GOD/ GODS are the place for help, when they could not answer me as a kid who was like helpless and lost, I dont think they every could. One can say to each their own, I see the theory of GOD more like a friend, a choice(will discuss later) . So no, i do not seek any relation with the GOD, i do not want to ask anyone anything anymore, if they REALLY had the best it WOULDNT be like this?? yk? its kinda fucked up to think but they are the ULTIMATE GOD so why are they doing this? iykwim. just my way to view tho.

now all the stories (yes i consider the teaching of bible, geeta, and other holy books as stories nonetheless)- i wouldnt say anything cause its not about my religion, i dont want to come offensive cause i have not enough information to make an opinion for now

FOR MY POINT OF VIEW on how i believe on god, its very simple

once a teacher of mine said -i dont believe in god, i just know there is a true good spirit showing you the right ways

and to add to that , i think, god is a very flawed concept, they wont pay your bills or heal your trauma or anything, they dont even talk lol, but THEY DO GIVE PEACE, like they are just a figment of my imagination that give me an idea of what kind of personality i want in me, Gods are someone i trusted and still do to share my life issues cause they are more like A PERSON WHO IS TRYING TO KEEP THINGS BALANCED to me than something divine, If you read Indian mythologies, mostly God mess up too, and then they solve it, they teach humans how to manage mess and how to not fuck up things in wrong proportions, not to lose humanity, even god are helpess in many situations sooo you know. I do love the religious festivities, stories, the peace being in a temple and things but i cant just be all devoted to them, thats toxic in my point of view. To me god is just a friend, i can talk to and have no other expectations, just hope that they know whatever they are doing is okay. God to me is just a teacher who gives me options and in the end its me who decides and makes my life how i want, and they do this to all humans, thats why things get bad its not the God choice, but the people. And this made me feel a bit better cause if you are just like the end is god and he is gonna be all healer and stuff, you will meet disappointment, i did not once or twice but so many times. God isnt going to help you, ever, they will only give you options, SO WHY MAKE THEM THE ULTIMATE WHEN IM THE ONE IN CONTROL?

IDK if this made sense to you anon, i know you mean well (hopefully, this is not a cult thing or something) and im not saying your way to trust god is wrong, it just doesn't suit me and its okay

thank you haha

#idk if this makes sense really #its a long post going about all of my views but idk how to put my thoughts in my words properly unless its a full one on one convo #and i dont mean to offend anyone in anyway #peace out<3 #ask

[autumnbrambleagain]

What are the odds of you releasing a modlist/modpack? Your post intrigues me.

0 percent. I respect all the work RandomPal has done, but I'm considering updating Vivec Waistwork Expansion with OAAB and TD soon, and that means it'll become incompatible with BCOM, which is a problem for everyone for the simple reason of: a giant modpack is no good substitution for a personally curated modlist. If a single mod in the modpack gets updated, gets bugfixes or swathes of new content, then the entire modpack needs to be updated, which can cause problems in the middle of a save. more likely, the updated, improved version is just ignored because it's not part of the modpack, so you miss out on the cool new stuff.

So the problem I don't want to have to deal with--a mod in the modpack getting a vastly improved version released--is something I'm already reluctantly going to subject RP and BCOM with at some point and I deffo wouldn't want to release a modpack of my own and have to deal with someone else doing that either?

Secondarily so, getting the permissions would be kind of a mess. My Balmora alone has:

Dallara Balmora as a base, heavily modified; Concept art balconies; Balmora rooftop apartments, heavily modified; Welcome Home, heavily modified; Dura gra-Bol and the Grab-All Gang, cludged to work ; Modified wells add-on; Modified Ashlander traders; Adul's marketplace, relocated

that's just balmora. that's not counting that i have ancient mods i can hardly find anywhere anymore. i have one that replaces slave bracers with actual slave collars? i have an ahnassi romance mod manauser released as part of a mod collection which i dont' even know is on the internet anymore??

Going around and making sure everyone involved is cool with me releasing modified versions of their mods is, it's work I don't wanna deal with? And then if I'm releasing it it's on me to not end up like MSGO so that means I have to actually test and verify everything when what I normally do is throw shit together and trust in 20 years of fuckign with this game to be able to fix the problems that inevitably arise (it's a lot of problems but I've been doing this for 20 years I can at least fix my fuckups when they come but my point is i'm a pretty sloppy modder and that's why i have two actual nexus releases out of all the things i've made, and i cannot in good conscience subject hundreds of people to my sloppy fix-it-as-i-go practices)

as for a modlist yeah maybe I can just drop my modlist bt also the modlist wont' show that i like, still dissected most of these mods and reconfigred their edges so they fit together so i don't wanna release a modlist and be like "this is the best way to play morrowind!" without the caveat of "also these mods only cooperate because i altered them to work together you gotta move julan over HERE in HIS .esp, you have to delete THIS object from ahnassi's house in THIS .esp, load this one before this one but after this one and also delete THIS creature reference with EE in THIS .esp" etc??? and if i'm doing that then it's not really a modlist you can just follow and use????

some people wanna just download morrowind and play, but I am one of the insane crazy people who thinks modding it is a lot of the fun and I don't mean "downloading the mods" i mean "opening every one of these bastards up in the construction kit and performing open heart surgery for fun" and releasing an attempt at a "definitive" morrowind is just antithetical to my entire morrontology because my own modlist changes as i go too???

#autumn rambles #morrowind #morrowind modding

[unevangelical]

:/!

#i can complain on here because no one actually reads it #idk why every year i convince myself that i will make friends and then i just dont #like u fool.... ur bad at it just accept ur going to be alone your entire life #the friends i do have live so fucking far too and its hard for them to know when im not doing well because of that #but ive been doing really bad for a few weeks because of some unfortunate emotions #and some things that didnt work out #and its all kind of stacking up and now i feel really lonely and bad and like i have no one to turn to #because everyone is having a good week except me #and i dont want to be a burden #and i can tell that i am being a burden because no one is texting me back #like its fine i dont expect my problems to be solved but no one even asks anymore #everyone just kind of assumes im ok and im so much not ok haha ill get over it eventually #once school starts ill be so busy i wont even have emotions and thats all im counting on #maybe everyone will drop me so i wont have these problems anymore #dl #please if we r friends do not ask me about this #im just venting and frustrated its my fault #ugghhggh i shouldnt even post it but i need it in writing so i stop wanting to talk about it

[spenciebabie]

idk if you'd be up to this but can u write something inspired by the song "what he dont know" by anarbor!! like you and spencer have been working together for a while and you both like each other and the sexual tension is hiiiiigh but you both wont make a move. so you keep on going on dates but they dont make you feel good and spencer knows it so he decides to make a move then you "cross the line so many times" (omg im sorry if this is too much)

i love this idea, the tension, the jealousy! i wasn’t sure what you were looking for but it felt like it should be a little more on the dom!spencer side?

— —

It was a delicately choreographed dance at this point. They both knew about it, and it’s not that either of them was shy necessarily, just that neither of them had the courage to make the first move.

She knew that Spencer was the only one she wanted, but she couldn’t stop herself from trying to replace him somehow. If she found another guy she liked then maybe her feelings for Spencer would just go away?

So she went on dates, plenty of them, until she found someone passable. And honestly, even if he was the greatest person ever, he still wouldn’t be the right guy. She couldn’t tell anyone that though, so she just worked around it.

“Yeah, I mean, he’s nice! We get on well it’s just…” she trails off, staring into her drink, the girls of the BAU huddled tight around her in the booth.

“C’mon what’s the problem?” Emily encourages, “Maybe we can help?”

But she just shakes her head, “It’s not that kind of problem. It’s the sex” she blurts out, ��I just— we’re not, compatible maybe?” and it’s not the whole truth, but it’s not wrong either.

“Like how?” Penelope pries,

“I don’t know, like I haven’t… you know?”

“Cum?” Emily just states and the girls erupt in laughter, drawing attention to their table, drawing attention to her problem.

“And what’s going on over here?” Derek saunters over and he’s got Spencer in tow as they nestle into the booth too.

“Y/N here’s got a new man, but he’s well… lacking” Penelope puts it gently and the table breaks into giggles again, but the only person she’s looking at is Spencer. And his eyes are locked right back onto hers, calm.

“Well he’s not ‘lacking’ down there” she says, “but it’s more that we just can’t seem to get there, I guess, I don’t know” she shrugs, trying to drop the topic to no avail.

“So does he turn you on?” Emily asks, like it’s a totally reasonable question, and she can see the corner of Spencer’s mouth lift up in a smirk.

“Yeah, of course!” she rushes out.

“Maybe it’s you” Spencer says, it’s almost a whisper under his breath but she hears it anyway, she’s always tuned into his frequency.

“I beg your pardon?” she whips her head around to scold him, but he just shrugs.

“I said maybe it’s you. Maybe you’re just bad in bed?” she rolls her eyes so far back they look like they might get stuck.

“Y’know what, let’s drop it. How’s your new thing going Emily?” the segue works and the topic is dropped for the rest of the evening. Right until it’s time to leave.

Everyone’s piled into their respective cabs, leaving just her and Spencer to stand on the street waiting when he finally speaks again.

“Tell me the truth.” he states it like a command, not a question.

“What about?” she sighs, feigning ignorance.

“Does he turn you on, really?” he turns to look at her, taking a step just the tiniest bit closer.

“I— I don’t— yes?” she stutters out, nervous all of a sudden.

“Okay” he nods, “But does he make you feel the way I do?” he says it in a hushed whisper, as he looks straight in her eyes. And this is it. This is the closest either of them has ever come to making a move. Despite all the pining, the tension, the stolen glances, the filthy dreams, this is the closest they’ve gotten. And they can both feel it.

“No” she breathes, surprising herself, “I don't think anyone could”

“So are you gonna do it, or will I?” he says, inching even closer so that their faces are so tantalizingly close now.

“Do what?” she asks, and he just rolls his eyes before diving in.

He cups her face in both of his hands, cradling it delicately as he presses his lips right against hers. It takes a moment for the shock to wear off and she’s opening her mouth on his, desperate and hungry. And then his hands are in her hair, pulling and tugging sharply as their tongues work against one another.

One cab ride later and they’re finally toppling in the door of Spencer’s apartment, fumbling with the buttons on each others coats as their mouths fight to stay locked together.

They don’t even make it as far as the bedroom, toppling down on his sofa. When his hands land on the zipper of her dress he takes a second to be sincere, looking straight into her eyes as he speaks, “You know there’s no going back? Once I’ve got you out of this dress that’s it for me” and he means it. She’s the only one he could ever actually picture himself with, and it had been that way for so much longer than he cared to remember.

“Take it off” she says with no hesitation, a smile pulling at the corners of her lips. And moments later there’s no more items of clothing to remove as they position them selves on Spencer’s sofa.

He’s sitting with her on top of him, one of her legs resting curled on either side of his lap.

“Tell me the truth.” he whispers, leaning in to say it right against her ear, and she can feel his warm breath against her skin. And his hands are on her, all over her body, one of them tucking in-between her legs as she lets out a desperate moan.

“Did he touch you like this? How did it feel?” she can barely speak as his fingers trail through her folds, brushing softly against her clit.

“Fuck” she moans, “No! It didn’t feel like this, not even close”

He groans at that, slowly pulling his fingers away from her, leaving her missing the contact immediately. But then his hands are on her hips, guiding her so that she’s positioned right above him. He takes a second to line himself up underneath her before she slides down. Sinking down along his length, taking him in slowly, savoring the way he stretches her out, filling her up.

“Could he get this deep?” he whispers against her ear once he’s buried to the hilt inside of her with her hands braced on his shoulders. She shakes her head.

“No, Spencer— never! You feel so fucking good” she can barely force out the words as he starts to move. Hands gripping her hips steadily and holding her in place as he rocks own hips up into her.

“Oh god! Spencer!” She gasps, and he picks up the pace. He wanted this to be special, he wanted to savor it, honestly he did, but he just couldn’t hold back anymore. The nosies she made, the way her head fell back and her nails dug into his skin was all too much. And he can’t make himself slow down.

Fuck it. There’d be plenty of time for slow, languid, loving sex later on. For now he needed to see, to feel, what she was like when she came.

“I— I’m— fuck! I’m close” she mutters out, almost incomprehensible.

“Did he ever get you this close?” Its falls from Spencer’s lips before he even realizes he’s said it.

“No! God no! Spence— I’m gonna—” she’s almost crying at the feeling and he pumps in and out of her, his hands still holding onto her hips for dear life as he pumps up into her.

“Where do you want it Y/N?” He moans, teetering right on the edge of his own climax as she rode out hers.

“Anywhere you want Spencer, I’m yours”

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #Matthew gray gubler smut #matthew gray gubler x reader #Matthew gray gubler imagine #Spencer Reid blurb #mgg imagine #mgg x reader smut #mgg smut #mgg blurb #mgg #mgg x reader #criminal minds smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #blurb #blurbs #imagine

[lihikainanea]

i’m shy and get embarrassed easily, so i have NEVER SAID WHAT IVE WANTED but i can’t hold back anymore, I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT. actually, it’s not a want, it’s a need.

i need a really sub tiger (whimpering, spaced out look, needy, sucking on his fingers, etc) and daddy bill. sweet nani. TIGER call him daddy. i need big protector and provider vibes from bill.

also, i’ve read every single one of your posts ATLEAST 15 times. this page right here, feels like a safe space.

much love

ohhhhhhhh thank you bb! I love messages like this <3 I'm glad you submitted an ask, that's a big step--I'm proud of you, boo. This space is open and safe for everyone, it's all I've ever wanted to create, so to hear you say it--to know that you felt comfortable submitting an ask--bubs, that makes me so happy <3

I'm feelin soff and subby tiger these days. Not only because of this deadly heatwave that has been sweeping the entire fucking continent, not only because work has been hell on earth, not only because I'm finally on vacation next week after not taking time off for a year and I feel like I'm crawling towards the finish line, bruised and battered, on all fours pleading for mercy.

Oh wait, that's exactly why I'm feeling soff and subby tiger these days, so small and where she can just disappear into her bubble of safety and just know that she'll be taken care of.

If you’ll allow me to self-project for awhile, as I’m wont to do rather frequently--maybe tiger has had to be Boss Bitch for awhile. She’s not having a hard time at work--no no, quite the opposite actually. She’s killing it. Stepping up when she has to, working long hours. Maybe her boss quit all of a sudden (hello, self-projection again!) and tiger is just stepping in and getting shit done. And ike a Queen, that ‘tude is bleeding into other aspects of life. Bill has a wonky shelf that needs fixing and while he’s usually quick to fix those things, it’s lagging and tiger just thinks--fuck it, and fuck you too. Bill comes home and she’s power drilling the thing back in place. Changing the light bulbs. Replacing the battery in her smoke alarm. Doing all the groceries. Cooking. Working late into the night. Picking up his dry cleaning. Her friend is going through a bad break up--tiger is there, packing her shit up with her, finding her a new apartment.

Tiger can sometimes be a bit of a procrastinator--which Bill likes, because then he gets to step in and do things for her and he loves the smile she gives him when he does that--but lately? Bill can’t get there fast enough. Tiger is handling it all, knocking it out of the park, and making it look easy.

The problem is she also kind of works herself into a tizzy--because tiger doesn’t like having too much control. She can absolutely do everything herself, but part of what she enjoys so much in her dynamic with Bill is that she doesn’t have to. She doesn’t have to be in control, or have all the power. She can give that to him, and she can just float in that place free from all burdens and responsibility and know that she’ll be taken care of. There’s an immense power in relinquishing control. And like everything, tiger swings violently from one extreme to the other--she has all of the control, she’s handling shit, she’s handling shit like a boss--until she gets real small, because she doesn’t WANT to handle this much, she doesn’t want to be the boss bitch anymore, she needs a balance where she can be ballsy and courageous in her professional life but that balance comes from being able to be subby with Bill, being able to be put on her knees and be his good girl.

Yin and yang.

And Bill senses it. He probably knows by the crazy twitch in her eye, her subtle irritability, the way a problem no sooner arises that tiger is throwing some power tool, some 7-step coaching programme, some advice from years of therapy--just something at it. Bill barely has time to mention that something in the house needs fixing, let alone fix it himself--because tiger is all over it and then some.

Bill knows the pendulum is swinging just a leeeeeeeetle too far one way.

And maybe the next day when tiger gets in from work--she has a list of shit she needs to get done tonight, and she’s still tapping away more on her phone: bake brownies for a work potluck, fix the chain on the toilet, scrub the bath tub, build the IKEA shoe cabinet she bought, give Bill head because it’s been awhile, put the final tweaks on a presentation. And her nose is in her phone when she walks in the door, so she doesn’t see Bill standing there in the hallway--doesn’t see the way he has his arms crossed, the authoritative set to his jaw, his pinched eyebrows.

“Hiiiiiii,” she calls out blindly down the hallway as she toes off her shoes, drops her purse on the floor.

Bill doesn’t respond. Her eyes are still on her phone, her thumbs going a mile a minute.

“Did you get the drill bits I need?” she’s still yelling because she hasn’t seen him yet, “That fucking IKEA cabinet Allan key bullshit won’t--oof.”

She walks right into his chest, stumbling back a step or two as she startles. And then she notices--notices how tall he’s standing, notices the set in his eyes, his clenched jaw. His crossed arms.

“Hi,” he says simply, lowly.

“Hi,” she stammers, “I uh, didn’t see you there.”

“I know,” he says--and then he reaches out, takes her phone from her hands. He puts it in his back pocket and crosses his arms again.

“On your knees,” he says.

“Why?” she mumbles it before she can stop, and it’s just automatic when she’s been like this--question everything, oppose everything, demand answers. But Bill just cocks his eyebrow, bends a little at the waist and gets his face in close to hers.

“You don’t get to ask questions tonight,” he whispers, and it’s soft but deliciously menacing and threatening. Tiger bites her lip, and she’s so mesmerized by him, already so turned on, that she’s rooted to the spot and she doesn’t move.

“Tiger,” he says harshly, “I won’t repeat myself.”

“Oh,” she snaps to her senses, shaking the fog from her brain. She drops to her knees. “Sorry,” she mumbles.

“Do you like all of this, tiger?” he weaves a hand in her hair, gently tugging it so her eyes are on him, “All of this control? All of this power?”

“I don’t know.”

“Try again,” he says, “All of this responsibility, fighting everybody’s battles. Taking care of everyone else--but who is taking care of you, hmm? Who’s taking care of my sweet girl?”

And her walls are starting to come down, that pendulum is starting to swing back ever so slowly in the natural direction.

“I am,” her voice cracks, and she says it so lowly he barely heard it.

“What’s that?”

“I am,” she says again, just a twinge louder but even then it’s barely a whisper.

“You are,” he says, “Just handling everything like a big girl. And do you like that? Not letting me take care of you? Not needing me?”

“No,” she admits.

“And is that part of our deal?”

“No,” she says again, leaning forward and bunching his pant leg in her fist. She just wants to touch him, wants to be close to him, and Bill would never stop her from doing so in moments like these. He presses his thumb to her lips, easing it inside. She sighs and her shoulders sag with relief.

“Then I think we need to fix that, don’t we?” he asks, “I miss my sweet girl.”

She whimpers around his thumb, inching on her knees closer to him and resting her forehead on his thigh.

“Do you want me to fix it sweet girl?” he murmurs, “Get you back right again?”

She nods, but he snaps his fingers and he swears that she moaned a little.

“Yes,” she says immediately, “Please, Bill.”

“Oh, I like the sound of that,” he says, and he withdraws his thumb from her mouth, closing his hands around her shoulders and lifting her so she’s standing in front of him, “I think I need to hear that a little more.”

She whines, but he slams his lips to hers. He kisses the hell out of her, all tongues and teeth, pulling away as she gasps for breath.

“If you want me to fix it kid,” he purrs, “Then you’re going to beg for it.”

#bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard drabble #BFF!Bill #sub tiger

[relaxxattack]

(i dont care to do c! tags bc theres. so many characters. if i dont say cc! then im talking abt the characters) normally i am not one to think much about the syndicate bc outside of ranboo being there to protect tubbo the syndicate Frustrates me a bit but. if phil starts to realize just how fucked over tubbo got by schlatt being erased from the narrative (and especially how shittily techno has treated tubbo) then i really hope they lean into like. the fact that the syndicate may soon turn into phil, niki, ranboo, and possibly the mystery member (im including mystery member mostly because i think tubbo is on good terms with almost everyone except like. dream, possibly wilbur but we'll see, and like the eggpire ppl but none of them are likely options but it is possible that the mystery member could just be neutral) all like. wanting tubbo to be safe and phil is *just* reasonable enough that i think he'd realize how unfair it is for tubbo to have been subjected to so much shit just for techno to introduce even more fear and the need to hide in his life

like phil already keeps the bee duo marriage and michael a secret, he lets tubbo come over and while of course its mostly from the semi lore vibes phil seems vaguely fond of tubbo already (i dont think phil and tubbo have father/son vibes tho, more just like. tubbo is just That Kid that adults cant help but adore even though the kid will rob them of house and home. slightly amused elder watching a tiny fucking gremlin make sex jokes and talk about soviet russia), niki from what i remember still cares about tubbo (probably because she cant redirect any anger towards him without realizing how unjustified it would be kcnsks she can come up with excuses for hating tommy but tubbo didnt do anything that niki has a problem with outside of her maybe having a bad view on butcher army if she knows about it?), ranboo is. ranboo. i dont need to clarify. and then like said theres a very low possibility of the fifth member *disliking* tubbo or being unable to sympathize with him.

people talk a lot about how techno needs to lose in a way that he cant easily come back from without introspection and i think while the rest of the syndicate standing up for tubbo would increase technos grudge against tubbo initially its also like. something that i think would maybe force techno to see tubbo as a person because now theres nothing techno can box (haha gettit. tubbox tubbo in a box tubbo getting boxed into certain roles by people who refuse to let him out techno esp doin this teehoo) tubbo into that wouldnt just. acknowledge that tubbo is a person. hes not apart of the government anymore, not planning any failed revolution, the most negative title to his name is being one of the nuke makers but even then thats out of fear and safety and techno knows that. otherwise tubbos current crimes are nothing thats special to tubbo (like. stealing and searching for evidence in ppls homes and stuff, the latter of which techno doesnr even know about). right now tubbos a husband, a father, a friend, a kid, *ex*-government, a person. and just.

i think that with how much foreshadowing about tubbos execution no longer being a secret amongst the witnesses and tubbo himself and soon being something that people close to techno like phil and ranboo know about as well (in that i want phil to learn that techno did it and for ranboo to learn about it in general bc hes just biased enough for tubbo and just smart enough that i think even if somehow he wasnt told who did it he could figure it out), and with the fact that tubbos lore has been confirmed to now be something thats actively going to be played into? i think (or at least hope) that it might spur phil and techno into finally seeing tubbos side of the story (and probably also get into the possibility of tubbo opening up to tommy and ranboo but i do think realistically either tubbo will try to play it off/not truly open up about how much its effected him or tubbo will at first shut down or go into complete repression mode, especially if phil and ranboo get the story from other people rather than tubbo himself [but god do i hope they confront tubbo himself]. either those two or tubbo talks about his emotions through fucking snapping at something/someone like he did at quackity when reminded of his execution, which as long as its Not tommy or ranboo ill absolutely be cheering on him for)

which is all a very convoluted way of saying uhh. *grabby paws at the ccs currently involved in the arc of clearing up personal misconceptions about l'manberg (and especially tubbos involvement and how easily those around him judged him based off of their versions of the story)* tubbo lore? tubbo healing tubbo talking about his problems? characters learning to see him as a person and recognizing how traumatized he is and that hes not uneffected but actively repressing any effects? please? (also ending note as the cherry on top of this essay that im sorry for dropping into your inbox: im kind of glad that tommys healing arc and tubbos possible healing arc are going to happen at similar times but are still separate. something something its nice to see acknowledgement that tommy and tubbo wont heal in the same way and arent going to know how to help each other but theyre still going through it together. their arcs are intertwining without removing their individuality and as someone w major co-dependency issues its kind of nice idk. you can be there for someone and still acknowledge that you have your own things to go through too and that while you wont be alone you shouldnt force those around you to support you. the bench trio are all helping each other out of free will and genuine love for each other while still realizing they have some problems they arent ready to talk about yet that arent forced to the open because theyre all doing their best to handle each other with care and i just. bench trio my beloveds. the kids are alright.) -🎭🎪 (also as the actual end note if theres ever a need to refer to me as something other than the emojis mask or eyez works fine but the idea of my name being the emojis is also Very Funny to me so do what you will)

im working on my aperture camera college assignment rn and my brain is sort of fried so i dont have an intelligent answer, but i got the happy chemical reading this.

yeah. i think we all know here that my favorite character is tubbo, and i REALLY hope we get him addressing anything that’s happened to him in canon. pretty much all of what you said sounds very good. *grabby hands* spare tubbo lore? please? spare tubbo lore?

perhaps during the three weeks wilburs off in the fucking woods (/lh) we could have a the-others-find-out-what-happened-to-tubbo-(and in DETAIL)-arc. pleaseeeeeeeee and ty

#🎭🎪 #lol #anonymous

[bridgyrose]

Salem's minions have brought Ruby Rose to her. Ruby awaited death, possibly worse, but was instead shocked at Salem's request: "Use your Silver Eyes to kill me."

Ruby grunted as she was shoved to the ground by Tyrian, slowly looking up at the figure that loomed above her. It had been years since she learned about Salem, years of playing cat and mouse with her and the relics, always managing to keep one away from her. And now, here she was, looking at the grimm queen herself in the flesh.

Salem grinned as she looked over the younger girl, her plan finally in motion. “Ruby Rose. We finally meet.”

“I dont care what you do to me, you wont get that relic!” Ruby spat at Salem.

“I know you dont have the relic on you, and the fear that’s coming off of you is giving away your true feelings.” Salem stood up and walked over to Ruby. “Besides, I have something special planned for you.”

Ruby wasnt entirely sure how she felt about hearing that from Salem. She took a deep breath, keeping on a brave face. “I wont let you-”

“I’m ready for you to finally end this curse that has been placed on me.”

Ruby went silent as her brain tried to register what Salem was asking her to do. “You… want me… to kill you?”

“Not kill, end this curse.” With a quick strike from clawed fingers, Salem cut the ropes that held Ruby in place. “I’ve been battling Ozpin for millenia trying to get these relics. And every time I’ve gotten close, something always evades me. So, if I’m not allowed to use these relics to try to end this curse, then you’ll have to do.”

Ruby slowly stood up, rubbing her wrists a bit. “So… you’re just done?”

“If by done you mean ready to be rid of this… grimm that’s been infesting me, then yes, I’m done.” Salem sighed as her mind continued to stay clear of anger. “I’m not sure what it is that your team did to me the last time we faced each other, but I’m tired of all this fighting. I’m tired of feeling this… primordial anger inside of me. I… I’m ready to rest.”

“That’s great and I’d love to help, but… there is one slight problem to all of this.”

“And what’s that?”

Ruby sighed, looking away from Salem. “I… still dont know how to actually use my eyes on command.”

Salem looked at Ruby curiously. “Is that so? Then maybe I can help you.”

“Help train me with using them?”

“Not exactly.” Before Ruby could say anything more, Salem thrust her hand onto Ruby’s forehead, magic pulsing from Salem into Ruby. “I’m going to kickstart it.”

Ruby’s eyes went wide as she felt her head start to burn, visions of her friends and family started to appear in front of her. She watched, helpless, as grimm started to attack everyone she cared about, each one of them falling one by one as an endless horde of grimm kept pushing. “N-no! Stop this! It… it hurts!”

“Not until I get what I want from you.”

Ruby’s eyes started to glow and fade as her powers tried to come out to the surface. Her body felt heavy and hot as she felt more magic pour into her, everything starting to ache. “N-no! I… I cant… this all hurts!”

“Then use your eyes! Give me the rest I deserve!”

In a blinding flash, Ruby’s eyes finally let out a burst of silver energy, filling the castle and the land around it with a silver light. Anything and everything grimm started to vaporize or turn to stone. Once the light was finished, Ruby dropped to the ground, her vision starting to go blurry as she watched Salem drop to the ground as well. The voices of her friends and team started to fill the halls of the castle as they looked for her, and all Ruby could do was moan in pain as her vision left her.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ruby slowly sat up, rubbing her eyes. She couldnt quite make anything out anymore, everything seemed to be fuzzy as she looked around. She could make out the outlines of people and a few things, but everything else seemed washed out by light. She nearly flinched when she felt a hand grab her shoulder.

“Ruby? Everything okay?”

Ruby turned her head to her left, following Yang’s voice. “I… I cant see…”

Yang sighed, slowly pulling away. “Salem told us that might happen…”

“Salem’s here?”

“She is. When we found you in her castle, we brought you back home to Patch as quickly as we could. We found her as well, not a trace of grimm inside of her. Whatever it is you did, you made her human again. Although, she’s still a bit miffed that she’s still immortal.”

Ruby sighed, looking around the room a bit more. There were a few things that she could make out again from the fuzzy outlines, but she still couldnt relax. “What… what did she say would happen to me?”

“She said she tried to jumpstart your eyes. In doing so, she blinded you. You can still be a huntress, however its going to take a while for you to get up to par with the rest of us.”

Ruby laid her head back down on her pillow, letting out a deep sigh. “Right…”

Yang started heading out of the room, pausing at the door frame. “You want anything to eat? You were out for nearly two weeks. Couldnt imagine you arent starving.”

“Sure. Maybe some of those strawberry pancakes dad likes to make.”

“I’ll be right back.”

Ruby looked up to the ceiling, listening to her sister’s footsteps as she went downstairs. Part of her was glad she no longer had to deal with Salem as an enemy, however it felt bitter sweet after losing her sight. She slowly pulled a small locket she wore around her neck closer to her, regretting she’d never be able to see Penny again.

#ruby rose #rwby ruby rose #yang xiao long #salem #rwby salem #drabbles #angsty drabbles #changed it slightly #instead of asking her to kill #its asking her to get rid of the curse #which still doesnt work #anyway #here's a blind ruby after getting empowered by salem to get rid of this curse #this is why you never super charge a sew's eyes

[writing-gifts]

okay im back with the 7th part of the incubus!doppio au! this chapter is really long compared to the other ones!

also I made the decision to make reader asexual in this story, I mentioned it on my blog already but saying at again since it’s mentioned this chapter. so there definitely wont be any smut in the future 

AO3 Link

List of parts

@wasabi-mommy @mistabrainr0t @the-average-mastermind 

-----

It’s been 2 weeks since you last saw Doppio. He was most definitely avoiding you since you snapped at him, kind of. You realized you had upset him right after it happened too, but you didn't expect him to stop visiting because of it.

So when you weren't at work or trying to socialize with coworkers, you were by yourself. Being alone wasn't necessarily bad, but the whole time you'd end up dwelling on Doppio and stressing yourself out.

You tried to consider the positives, which there was one; Diavolo hadn't shown up either. But still, you missed your friend. And at this point, you were fed up with your thoughts going in circles. So instead of moping around your living room today too, you decide to go to the only other person you know nearby.

Retracing the steps you took with Doppio to get back home after your visit with the local witch--Was he the only witch in this area? You didn't know--you find your way back to the clearing in the forest with the giant lake and cabin.

Bruno looks surprised to find you at his door but lets you in. “I wasn't expecting you to come back.”

You shrug.

"By the way--" he says, "--it would be best not to wander too much in this forest. Many fae reside deeper within it and we don't want you running into any of them."

You nod since you didn't plan on going anywhere you hadn't been shown before anyway.

The comfortable looking couches around the fireplace are just what you need after that long walk. But as soon as you fall back into one of the loveseats, something sharp pricks your ass.

"Ow!" You shoot up and turn around. "What the hell…?"

A small pin you hadn't noticed was already occupying the seat. You pick it up and when Bruno sees what's in your hand he sighs.

"Okay, which one of you did it?" He sounds exasperated but stern.

There's no response and you wonder if the witch is talking to himself.

His brows furrow and he frowns, clearly frustrated by something.

He takes the pin from you. "Sorry about that ____."

"Uhh, it's fine? Accidents happen." You make sure there's nothing else in the seat and sit down. "...Who were you talking to?"

"My kids."

"You have kids?" You have never heard any noise or seen anything in the house that would imply that. Were they hiding?

Bruno drops the pin in the drawer of the small, wooden table next to the couch. He then takes a seat in the loveseat across from yours. “Well in a way. It's more like I just let them reside here.”

You were still confused but Bruno continues speaking before you can inquire more.

"Why'd you decide to visit?"

"I'm going to be honest. I was feeling a little lonely."

"No visitors?"

You rub at your arm and your slight frown becomes a full pout. "Yea…"

You didn't even have a certain cat anymore to help break the silence at home. Of course you weren't going to admit that part.

"Well that's not necessarily a bad thing."

"No. I already told you I want Doppio to stay with me, so it actually is."

Bruno hums. "I'm just trying to help you ____."

"You think you're helping me? Things don't have to go your way you know."

The witch looks completely unfazed by your words. “One day you'll understand and hopefully without you getting hurt.”

You deeply exhale. Talking to Bruno reminded you of a brick wall and you couldn't even find it in you to get mad.

"Wow…"

He raises a brow. "What?"

“You're stubborn as hell.”

"The same goes to you."

The two of you are quiet after that and the witch watches you. You felt like he was trying to see into your head and it made sitting still hard.

“Do you need something?” you ask.

“You're the one in my house ____.”

“Yea but you don't have to stare so hard...”

“You came here for another reason. Tell me.”

Caught off guard you take longer than usual to respond. You didn't know how Bruno could tell but it was best if you just said what you needed to instead of beating around the bush.

"Okay...I did. I was wondering about the exorcism, but not for Doppio--for Diavolo." You look down at your lap. "Do you think it's possible to exorcise him without hurting Doppio? I'm not even really sure how their whole situation works to be honest.”

You look to Bruno wondering if he had any answers.

"....A demon possessing a demon--that's what's most likely happening."

"Huh? That sounds strange."

"It is very peculiar, but I can't say it's impossible. So maybe there's a way to do an exorcism like you wanted."

Bruno's familiar swims by, above the fireplace and his eyes follow the eel. "Leone told me you two don't get along," he mentions.

"Me and Diavolo? Well yea. I'm sure you know he wants to kill me."

"Yes." His eyes land back on you. "That's why I'm not completely onboard with your idea."

"Okay but don't you think it would be better to at least get rid of one demon who definitely wants to hurt me instead of none?"

"I can't guarantee it; there's a chance it won't work and we'll only piss him off. Then you'd possibly be in more danger. It would make more sense and be much easier to get rid of both of them."

You frown but you weren't giving up. "Diavolo already has it out for me though. So not trying because of that is kinda pointless."

The rebuttal you just gave was weak and you weren't sure you could come up with anymore. So the longer Bruno takes to reply the more nervous you become.

"Listen, I'm not saying I'll do this but I'll at least look into it," he finally says.

You perk up. Even though you couldn't say he seemed convinced, you could at least work with it!

"T-Thank you! I'll even help!" You stand up eager to start. "Where do you want me to look first?" you ask.

From then on, you spend your off days at Bruno's home looking for any information about exorcism within his many books. A lot of which were in languages you didn't understand.

Surprising to you, Bruno turns out to be pretty good company when he isn't actively trying to get rid of Doppio. And you quickly find yourself enjoying coming over. It was the perfect distraction too.

You also now had the chance to really take in how cool the witch's house was. It felt like you were at the aquarium whenever you walked through it! So at first, you did a lot of that whenever you needed a break. Bruno's familiar which you found out was named Angeela, would swim along with you and keep you company. And even though there were no other fish it was still really relaxing.

But soon, strange things started to occur. Doors closing behind you. Items falling on top of you. It happened one too many times and started to freak you out so you brought it up with Bruno. It seemed to stop right after that though so you shrugged it off and decided to focus more on researching from then on.

During one of your visits, you focus a little too hard and accidentally end up staying too late. And there's no way for you to traverse back home safely so Bruno insists you stay in the spare guest room.

After dinner, you're ready to quietly head to bed for the night, but while you're cleaning your face, Abbacchio walks into the bathroom.

You raise a brow at the cat. You'd only seen hints of him this whole week. "What the hell?"

"Is there a problem?" The cat jumps up on the counter barely looking your way.

"Yea, you just walked in here without warning. What if I was changing you weirdo?"

"Then you wouldn't have left the door cracked open."

You roll your eyes and go back to what you're doing. "Where did you even come from?"

"None of your business. You don't want me around you anyway so it shouldn't matter."

"I said my house. I don't care what you do outside of it."

You wash off your hands and grab the tooth brush Bruno gave you. It's quiet except for the sink water running and the sound of you brushing your teeth. But you feel like you have to talk with Abbacchio in the room.

You spit in the sink. “Umm...is there something you need from me?”

The cat’s tail twitches before he answers. “Just making sure you don't do anything stupid."

Your lips purse. You were literally just trying to get ready for bed.

"Okay?" You go back to brushing.

The cat huffs. "You should stop trying to keep Doppio around. You're literally wasting time--"

“Ah, that's why you came in here," you interrupt through a mouthful of foam. You spit. "....I don't understand why everyone keeps doing this.”

"Doing what?" The cat sounds and looks irritated.

"Telling me this and that! I'm going to stay with Doppio and nothing you, Bruno, or Diavolo say is going to chase me off."

You expect to get lectured some more but Abbacchio glares at you. "Please don't tell me you aren't actually in love with him?" he asks.

"What are you talking about? I just want to stay with him because we're friends."

"You barely know him. It must be 'love'...or lust."

You shake your head. "Lust's definitely not it."

Abbacchio tilts his head but you weren't exactly in the mood to explain asexuality right now, especially to a feline, so you leave it at that and go back to brushing your teeth.

He squints at you. “Okay then. You're definitely in denial about your feelings though.”

"Can't friends care about each other--"

"Yes but that takes years. You're ready to throw your safety to the wind for someone you've known for a few months. You need to be careful before this crush gets out of hand."

You let out the most frustrated sigh. "Doppio wouldn't hurt me. I trust him."

"Hmph, you don't even understand this world but you think you know better."

You pause unsure how to respond. You wanted to say something back but he unfortunately had a point. This supernatural stuff was still new to you and you were honestly processing it kind of slowly.

Since you knew you weren't getting in the last word with Abbacchio and you were tired of being scolded by a cat, you rinse off your toothbrush and leave the restroom.

----

You open your eyes and stare at the unfamiliar ceiling for a several seconds before getting out of bed. You forgot to bring a glass of water with you and there was no way you would be able to get back to sleep with such a dry throat. So you creep out of your room.

The blueish glow from the tanks help light your way down the hallway to the kitchen. You see Angeela pass by before turning back and swimming along with you.

You smile before whispering. "Just getting water.”

The eel continues to follow you all the way to the kitchen. You rub at your arms once you enter to fend off the unusual chill in the room. Unfortunately, this was common in Bruno’s home. You suspected a draft problem but the witch didn’t seem to care.

Angeela swims out of view while you hurry and look for a glass so you can get back to your warm bed.

Once you find one in the cupboards, you fill it with water from the sink's tab and quench your thirst before filling it again. You move to leave but stop at the kitchen's entrance and look back at the refrigerator. You might as well eat something while you’re here.

Ready to grab the leftover food Bruno made for dinner, you open the fridge and scream. The glass you’re holding falls from your hand and shatters on the floor. And you slam the fridge door shut.

Abbacchio’s the first to appear in the kitchen. “There better be a good reason you’re yelling!"

“Something in the fridge--A HEAD--I don't know!”

Right after that Bruno rushes in. “What's wrong ____?”

“Something weird in the fridge--a head! I was just looking in the fridge because I was kinda hungry!”

Bruno pinches the bridge of his nose. “Fugo and Narancia come out now!”

A second passes before something phases into form in front of the annoyed witch. Then right after something small and sparkly flies out from behind the dish rack next to the sink. But you've barely registered the second thing cause there’s a little ghost kid standing there!

He had a tealish glow and you could see right through him.

A shiver runs up your spine and you want to run out of this cabin.

“Do either of you want to explain why ____ says they saw a head in the fridge?” Bruno asks. His breath is visible from how cold it's gotten.

The ghost looks down at his feet avoiding eye contact. The glowing light next to the ghost didn’t seem keen on answering either.

“Brats,” Abbacchio says before walking out of the kitchen.

"Narancia t-told me to…" the ghostly child's voice sounds watery and distant.

Bruno sighs before looking at you. “I’m sorry.”

“I...It’s okay,” you lie.

And you guess Bruno can tell because he stares at you strangely before speaking again. “Well I suppose I should introduce you to them since we all are here. This is Fugo." He points to the ghost. "And this is Narancia.”

You risk getting closer to the glowing small creature flying in the air and realize that they look like a shrunken child with wings.

“A...pixie?” you ask. You can barely believe your eyes but should you be surprised at this point?

"I think...I need to go to sleep," you say.

“Okay,” Bruno says, understanding. “Are you sure you're fine?”

“Uh huh.” You’re about to speed walk to the guest room, but remember the glass on the floor.

“Oh wait do you have a broom?" you ask the witch. "I-I'm sorry…”

“I'll take care of it.”

You nod and go back to your room. You wouldn't be wandering around Bruno's home again at night, if you ever stayed the night again that is.

-----

When you open your front door to walk out, you immediately tense up in surprise. Doppio's standing there, holding the key you gave him.

"Doppio!"

" ____--"

The both of you stop talking.

The incubus frowns and fidgets with the key in his hand. "Er ____...I'm sorry for keeping things from you! I really missed you.”

You hum but can't get any words out. For some reason you felt uncomfortable and timid.

“____?”

You clench your hands next to your sides and force yourself to speak. “I shouldn't have said what I did and especially not that harshly. I-I'm sorry and I missed you too.”

Doppio seems to relax but you stand in place awkwardly, struggling to make proper eye contact.

“That's okay ____. I understand why you were upset.”

"Yea but still…"

"Um, is it okay if we hug?" Doppio asks.

His expression is shy but he doesn't look away which makes you smile. You nod and open your arms. Your friend walks into them wrapping his own arms around you and giving you a squeeze. He smells like something sugary but you can't place it.

Once you're satisfied, you let your arms drop and pull away from the incubus.

“Do you want to come inside?”

He tilts his head. “Weren't you heading somewhere though?”

“I can go later. It���s not urgent.”

Doppio nods and walks past you inside. You shut the door and the two of you sit down on the couch.

“So what were you up to the last several weeks?” A question that you hoped would make any left over awkwardness disperse.

“I was on business for the boss.”

“Of course...Maybe he’ll finally stop being so angry with me.”

Doppio looks confused before his eyes widen, "Not that type of business!"

“Oh! What type of stuff then?"

"Um...making sure people stick to agreements. I don't think you'd want me to go into detail."

He gives a bit of a forced laugh. So you move on.

"Hey, you're okay right?” you ask.

“Hm?”

“Like you're not dying or anything? Diavolo said you would just lose your powers, but I just want to make sure.”

“Oh that. Yeah, I'm okay! I don't need sex to stay alive...”

You nod. “I guess I'm still trying to wrap my head around this incubus stuff--well demon stuff in general." You suddenly remember the events that happened at Bruno's house recently. “Actually, supernatural stuff overall. Soooo...just wondering, is it possible to exorcise a demon out of a demon?”

He grimaces slightly. “____, what are you trying to do?”

“I'm just speculating, but maybe we could get rid of Diavolo.”

Doppio's eyes widen. "N-no way. Why?"

”Don't you want to? He's literally leeching off of you.”

You liked Doppio...a lot and you wanted him to stay by your side but dealing with his alter ego frankily sucked. You had been able to tolerate him (barely) but after not having him come in and threaten you for the past couple weeks, any qualms (if there were any to begin with) about getting rid of Diavolo were gone. You just needed to get Doppio onboard.

“I don't know…I know he can be a lot but he's not all bad.”

You stare unbelieving at him. “Doppio, I think you might be codependent. He's literally the worst type of person.”

He avoids your eyes. "Well technically he's not even a person--"

“Demon whatever, he still sucks.”

"I don't think this is a good idea ____. He might be listening right now!"

That wasn't about to stop you. And even though Doppio didn't like to act like it, he had more control over this body than his "boss". The fact that Diavolo hasn't appeared to rip you apart proved that.

“If it doesn't work you can put all the blame on me. He won't hurt his own vessel anyways.”

“I'm not worried about me ____."

You smile a bit at his concern. "If we get this to work then you'll never have to worry about me."

Doppio sighs. "I guess...How are you even planning to do this?”

“Well, I've been visiting Bruno while you were gone.”

The incubus immediately looks disgruntled.

“Don't make that face okay. I actually managed to get him to consider doing things a different way.”

“B-But what if he's just using this as a way to get our guard down?”

“We are just researching. I haven't agreed to anything just yet. I really just want to know if it's possible…And wouldn't it be nice to have your own body?”

Doppio nods but still looks unsure.

“So let's just see what happens?” you say hoping to give him that little push he needs.

"Well if it's just research...it can't hurt to look into it?"

You nod and smile. “Right! I'll let you know if anything comes up.”

#doppio x reader #vinegar doppio x reader #incubus!doppio #plot plot plot #started writing the next part but its hella rough so idk when im updating again #jjba x reader #im excited for the next chapter because froggie #if you know you know #reader insert

[yn-dreamlife]

My Perfect Angel

Kai Chisaki (Overhaul) x (F) Reader 

Description: After enough people pointing out your insecurities and snap and ask Kai something you thought you never would. 

Based off of a tik-tok I saw by h0ney.cos there overhaul cosplay is really good! 

Warnings: insecure reader, sweet Kai, angst, fluff fluff fluff, angst again, bullying, reader is Overhauls age, chubby reader, catcalling turned to harassment, fat shaming, mentions of sex (not by Kai)

“Dammit Chisaki why wont you do it?!” I screamed at the man in front of me. 

“Why do you want me to so bad?!” He yelled back frustrated. I stood there staring at him chest heaving and heart pounding. 

“You don’t understand.” I whisper as I look down at the floor, silently begging the tears not to fall. Not now, not in front of him. I see as his shoes appear in front of me and then I feel his hands gently cup my cheeks.

“Then make me.” He whispers pleadingly as he looks into my eyes. 

As I walk down the market place, basket in hand there is a warmth in my chest. I had gotten everything off my checklist and I still had a little money left over! I could probably even buy Kai a little present. Just as I thought that his words from earlier rang in my head. 

“Remember if you want to get me a present just buy yourself something instead. I always love to see my angel happy, that alone is better than any gift in the world.” 

‘He always is such a charmer.’ A smile makes it’s way to my cheeks. And with that thought I head to a clothing store I passed on my way here. As I walk into the store I smile. 

Kai brought me here once, I remember he had pointed out a dress he said I would look beautiful in. By now it should be on sale and I might even have enough money to buy it as a surprise for him! 

As I look around the store I’m approached by a young teenage sales lady. 

“Hi can I help you?” She asks smiling at me, her voice was friendly but high pitched. I could tell it wasn’t her real voice, it was the voice all people in sales have. 

“Oh no im just looking for a dress my boyfriend pointed out to me a little while ago!” I said as I smiled back at her but it quickly vanishes once she speaks again. 

“Pfft boyfriend? Are you sure you’re in the right store?” She spoke raising an eyebrow, her voice no longer high and friendly and leaning more towards an accusatory tone. 

“I beg your pardon.” I said furrowing my brows, honestly I knew exactly what she meant I was just so taken aback by her rude behavior. 

“I’m pretty sure there’s a maternity store a few doors over.” My eyebrows shot up as she had a triumphant smirk on her face.

“How dare you!” I shout at her reeling my hand back to smack her before falling short as I saw people around us laughing while staring at me. 

“Go ahead,” she said opening her arms “hit me.” She looked at me challenging me. 

I was so angry I pulled a card I never pulled, “I would love to hear what my boyfriend said about this.” I said in a surprisingly calm voice as I crossed my arms.

“Aw you hear that? Shes gonna cry to her boyfriend about it!” The sales lady bust out laughing but it swiftly died the moment my next sentence hit her ears. 

“Yes Kai Chisaki, I wonder what he would do if he was here.” She stared at me wide eyed and the laughter from around the store died. 

“Kai Chisaki?” One oblivious woman whispered confused. 

“He’s the Yakuza, captain of the Shie Hassaikai.” Another whispered to her with a tremble in her voice. 

Everyone knew about Kai, or as he was better known Overhaul. And everyone knew he had a girlfriend. The only reason being the last person who hurt me was obliterated on spot, Kai vowed then and there anyone who hurt me, in any way would pay the consequence. 

So I usually lived problem free, unless someone didn’t know what I looked like, which happened in this case. 

I looked at her pulling off a mock pout, “Aw someones not so brave anymore.” I said my voice laced with fake sympathy. “No sassy words, no witty come backs, no more snide comments?” I waited a moment looking around. 

As I did I saw one of the ladies happened to be standing right in front of the dress I wanted. I walked up to her as she trembled, I leaned in close to her face before looking past her and grabbing my size.

As I turned around and walked out I dropped the money next to the rude sales girls, “Shame, I would have loved to see the show.” And with that I left the store. 

Truth is, I had told Kai not to do that to anyone else again, and I honestly didn’t enjoy watching the effects of his quirk on people. But they had me worked up in that moment, it felt oddly good to leave them all speechless and shaking where they stood.  

I walked through a back alley trying to regain composure before I made it home, but of course luck wasn’t on my side and I was walking past a group of three shady men. Hoping for the best I continued on like I didn’t see them but of course they had to say something, after all it was my lucky day for that.

“Hey there baby.” One man called from behind me as I heard them coming closer. 

“Not interested.” I said as I started walking faster. 

“Oh come on!” One said as they sped up “We could show you a real good time.” What I’m sure was meant to be seductive came out more threatening, or maybe that’s how it was meant. 

After I had said no again the barrage of insults began. 

“Well who would want you anyways? You’re just some pig.” 

“Yeah your eyes are so dull and your hair so gross, who would want to look at that while having sex?” the second said as I sped up. 

The insults didn't stop as I was out of there sight, they only stopped once I was out of earshot. 

I ignored the tears threatening to spill. Why am I even crying anyways? It’s just some stupid people, there opinions don’t matter, the only one who does is Kai. 

And he loves me just the way I am. ‘....Right?’ the doubt had crept into my mind and the seed was planted. 

The seed of doubt, and self hatred. It festered and grew, feeding off of any small microscopic doubt I had ever had. And as it grew it began changing events in my mind. Kai moving me off of him to go to the bathroom was now Kai’s legs where being crushed so bad he had to fake going to the bathroom to rid himself of me. 

Our portions being smaller had nothing to do with us needing to go grocery shopping and everything to do with my size. Him pointing out a dress wasn't because of the color but because he didn't like the way I always dressed. 

By the time I was home the warmth in my chest was gone, no smile was on my lips and I had thought the tears were gone. I dropped off my basket and immediately went to Kais office. 

‘He can make me beautiful,’ I thought. ‘If he uses his quirk on my then he can put me back together as the perfect woman, then I can be beautiful for him.’ 

The possessions thoughts ran threw my head on a loop as I knocked on his door. When I was told to enter I did so silently. 

“Hello there angel!” He said happily moving to pick me up and spin me around. 

“Put me down Kai I’m to heavy!” I shouted as he did so. 

“Nonsense!” He said as he continued. 

“No!,” I said as I wiggled from his grasp. “I am,” I grabbed his hands and took them in my own, “but I don’t have to be.” 

“What do you mean y/n/n?” he said squeezing my hands. 

“I don’t have to be to heavy, if you use your quirk then you ca-” He cut me off within the second that I mentioned him using his quirk. 

“Absolutely not!” He said gasping. 

“Please Kai, you can use it and then put me back together as the perfect girl!” I said desperately grabbing at his retreating hands. 

“No! Even if I didn’t think you where perfect- which I do! I would never use my quirk on you, to put you threw that pain...” He trailed off. 

“Please Kai! I wont be in pain for long! And it wont even be that bad! You cant even be guilty because I’m asking!” I said quickly. All rationality had turned off in my brain. 

“No! I wont!” He said determined. 

“Plea-” 

“No y/n and that’s final!” He spoke eyes firm. 

“Dammit Chisaki why wont you do it?!” I screamed at the man in front of me.

“Why do you want me to so bad?!” He yelled back frustrated. I stood there staring at him chest heaving and heart pounding.

“You don’t understand.” I whisper as I look down at the floor, silently begging the tears not to fall. Not now, not in front of him. I see as his shoes appear in front of me and then I feel his hands gently cup my cheeks.

“Then make me.” He whispers pleadingly as he looks into my eyes.

--------------------------

Tears slipped down Kai’s cheeks once i was finished just as they did my own. “I-I’m sorry Kai- I just- I just want to be perfect for you so bad.” I sobbed as I fell into his arms. 

retelling the events of today was enough to bring my brain a bit more down to earth, yet I still so felt so insecure and unworthy. 

“Angel... You already are.” He spoke as he pet my hair gently, his other arm securely going around my waist. “Even if my quirk didn’t bring you pain and I did do it, you would still look exactly as you are now, because this is how I love you.” 

I pulled away slightly looking up at him. “Really?” I whispered. 

He smiled gently his one hand removing his mask as the other cupped my cheek. I gasped when I watched him drop his gloves and mask to the floor. It was becoming more and more common for Kai to take his gloves off for me and even his mask, but for him to so carelessly drop them on the floor was shocking. 

He smiled rubbing my thumb with his cheek, “You’re my angel, there has never and will never be a thing I change about you.” I smiled softly but it faltered a little when he spoke again. “Well there is maybe one thing,” the smile on his face told me it wasn’t anything bad but I couldn’t help but be slightly worried. 

“What is it?” I whispered. 

“He pressed his forehead against my own before leaning in farther so our lips brushed against each other as he spoke “Your last name.” 

I smiled even as our lips connected into a soft kiss, every kiss with him brought butterflies to my stomach because they where always so special. His fear of germs prevented them from happening very often so i always cherished them. 

“I love you Kai.” I whisper pulling away so our foreheads where touching.

“And I love you Angel.” it was a sweet moment, just staying in his arms his next words contradicted the gentle brushing of his thumb on my bare waist. “Now where did you say these events happened, and could you give me a description of the people.” 

I pulled away raising an eyebrow with a small smile on my face. “Kai,” I said in warning. 

“What? Just trying to.... visualize your story better is all.” He said shrugging smiling at his half ass lie. 

I laughed smiling wider he always could make me feel better. During my laughter i couldn't see the sparkle in Kais eye as he stared down at me happy to see me smiling and laughing again, even if it only was taken away from him for thirty minutes. 

#kai chisaki #kai chisaki x reader #kai chisaki x y/n #overhaul #overhaul x y/n #overhaul x reader #mha #mha x reader #villian x reader #villian x y/n #mha villian x reader #x reader #my hero academia #my hero academia x reader #my hero academia villian #my hero academia villian x reader

[calumthoodshands]

hey annie!! thanks for coming here :)))

another malum how interesting y'all like them huh. (guess what photo popped up while i was writing this... yeah brb crying) im gonna ignore the leg and composition of the photo and just go with the vibes hope thats okay

well, calums cap makes me think of racing. so we're gonna do a racing au. so calum is an aspiring racer here, he's what, around 20/21, and really on a road of success (get it?), winning every local race and competing in the next regional even! its the one thing he truly loves, he isnt too social, and regionally, everyone thinks hes the loser, last place, whatever, no one paid attention to him. but calum wants to win desperately. problem is, his team is very small and more like family than a really professional team. they rely heavily on each other, and a lot is just free will and effort to keep things running and calum in the game. things run smoothly in preparation until their mechanic drops out because he goes to college. and calum is left with a racing car and no mechanic -- until his manager brings up michael, the son from one of her friends. calum barely heard of him, so he agrees, because what choice does he have, really? he needs to win the race, whatever it takes. so michael joins the team, and it turns out hes a fucking jerk. self absorbed and so sure of himself calum throws a tantrum the first day over how he wont ever let michael near his car. except he has to. bc michael's their only chance. but bc calum doesnt trust him, he decides to watch michael, and so they start spending hours and hours in the garage to optimise the car, test certain things out, repair what isnt as good anymore. and calum has to admit that michael REALLY knows his stuff. like, hes really, seriously good, but calum cant possibly tell him, so he acts like nothing is going on, except he totally gets infected by michael's sheer JOY over this car and the race. and maybe that takes over calum, and maybe he starts enjoying all these hours theyre on their own working our testing it out, and calum drives rounds with him to show off and yeah, theyre not so different after all. and when calum wins, michael watches first row, and calum basically flies into his arms when they meet after the race, and maybe they kiss, very quick and shy, maybe not so shy after all. maybe calum gave him more confidence, and maybe winning helped just a little, tiny bit too, but calum doesnt regret it. not when michael grins at him so brightly afterwards and says, "I'm so fucking proud of you."

New ask game!

#ijustdontlikepeople #ask #speed fic #ask game #god tumblr pls give me my tags bag i am begging you #where tf is annies tag #annie #this aint it chief

[thisfoolwrites]

My Altair (2)

Part 2 Here’s the second part to my Bokuto fic! Thanks to all the likes and reblogs on the last one. I appreciate each and every one of you. Please enjoy!

Warnings: References to underage drinking Genre: Angst to Fluff

Part 1  Part 3

Waking up the next morning, {Y/N} felt like her head was going to explode. She groaned and tried to roll over to her back, and noticed that there was a blockade in her way. Fully opening her eyes she noticed Kenma curled up next to her. She scooted over to give herself room to move and gently poked his cheek.

“I'm sorry Ken, for worrying you last night.” she murmured. “I didn't mean to disappear on you, I just didn't want to talk about it at the time.”

“I know you didn't mean it.” His soft voice replied,  “And I'll wait till you're ready to talk, just don't do that again ok?” The two siblings shared a look and knew that they would be alright. {Y/N} was grateful that Kenma didn't bring up Kuroo. She didn't want to cry anymore over him, but knew that she was still in a vulnerable state.

“Now get out of my bed so I can shower and pack. We got that training camp at Shenzin tomorrow.” She gently shoved him towards the end of the bed. With a small laugh Kenma went back to his own room. Once the door was closed she sighed and laid back down on her back. 

Had she really worried everyone that much? Closing her eyes tight she was left to her thoughts once again. The headache she woke up with seemed ten times worse now. Getting up she stopped at her dresser, looking at the numerous trophies and medals she had earned from the time she was ten up until she was fifteen. Had it really been three years since she had given up skating. Noticing the picture of her and Kuroo at his first high school inter-high tournament, she picked it up and glared at it. The inter-high was the same day as a competition she had been looking forward to. But she never made it there. With the picture in her hand, she walked over to the trash and dropped it in.

After grabbing her clothes she made her way out of her room and to the shower. She heard noises from Kenma's room and assumed he had began gaming. She hoped a nice hot shower would free up her thoughts. “Think of puppies or something.” She grumbled to herself.

Bokuto glanced towards his phone for what seemed like the thousandth time. Had she meant that text or was she still under the influence? He supposed he'd get his answer Monday when the training camp rolled around. He saw a new text from Kuroo. His eyes narrowed at his name alone. How was he supposed to get along with Kuroo all week? He also had to get Kuroo's side of the story. Did he sting {Y/N} along last summer, even knowing how Bokuto felt? Or had it been a non exclusive thing that she misread? Either way all he knew was the Kuroo had some apologizing to do. Unlocking his phone and glancing at the words, he frowned again.

Kuroo: Thanks for finding her. We really appreciate it.

Bokuto: Its no problem.

Kuroo: Did she happen to say why she ran off? Kenma wouldn't tell me anything and {Y/N} wont answer my texts or calls.

Golden orbs widened in shock. Kenma hadn't told his friend that he was the reason she ran off? Was {Y/N} really ignoring him still? The scheming captain had really done a number on their mutual friend. If she had chosen not to say anything, he had no right to share that either.

Bokuto: Nope. All she wanted to talk about were the stars.

Not a total lie, he thought. With a heavy sigh he went back to packing for the training camp. He really hopped {Y/N} would show up. Even though she had no interest in being a manager at all. He backed out of Kuroos contact and went to {Y/N’S}.

Bokuto: Id love to go stargazing, maybe the stars will be visible this week.

Monday rolled around faster than {Y/N} would have liked. It was 6am and she was standing next to Coach Nekomata taking roll call and making sure everyone got on the bus. She could feel the third years and Tora starring at her. She figured that at this point they all knew about the fallout between her and Kuroo. After making sure everyone was on the bus she looked toward the coach and climbed on herself. Kenma, who usually sat next to Tora, had saved her a seat next to him. She smiled before accidentally locking eyes with the Scheming captain. She could see the confusion and hurt in his eyes. Looking away she took her seat next to Kenma, giving him a small thanks.

She pulled out her phone and smiled looking at her notifications. She had been texting the owl haired captain since yesterday. Looking at the pictures he sent she let out a small laugh, catching the attention of the setter beside her. He glanced down and saw who she was texting and he managed a small smile. Maybe this is what she needed. While he still wasn't sure what had happened, he just wanted to see his sister happy.

Her team had changed into their practice clothes and were getting ready to head to the court when the Karasuno bus pulled up. She smiled and watched with Yaku the excitement on the two first years. Not to mention the loud voices of the second years.

“They sure are a lively bunch huh?” She mumbled absentmindedly. Yaku just nodded along.

“Its never dull moment with them.”

“Well, we better get in there, I've got manager things to do.” Yaku could almost hear the sigh in her voice.  He wanted to ask if she was ok, but figured he should wait. He just nodded and followed her inside. {Y/N} looked around the gym and saw the other schools practicing already. He eyes landed on Fukurodani. She had never given other schools much thought. After Saturday however, she had couldn't stop thinking about the ace. As if he sensed someone looking at him he turned. Golden orbs met {E/C}. A large grin spread on his face and he waved his arms in the air wildly. {Y/N} let out a small laugh when she saw this.

“Never a dull moment indeed.” She murmured with a smile before walking off and meeting the other managers. Yaku just stood there and with his mouth agape. She had been so gloomy all week, just what happened when Bokuto picked her up from that party.

“What was that?” Came the deep voice of Kuroo, causing Yaku to jump. “Jeez, why are you so jumpy?”

“When you come out of no where that happens! You need a bell!” Kuroo let out a laugh and went to go practice with the rest of his team. He'd have to ask Bokuto later what was going on with him and the older Kozume.

The training camp had been going smoothly, for the most part. Aside from Kurasuno losing every match they had been apart of, and the fact that Nekoma's captain and manager still weren't on speaking terms. {Hana} let out a sigh and walked outside after taking a shower. Shenzin's school wasn't directly in the city so there were less lights, but she still couldn't see the stars that well. While walking she ran into the Silver haired setter of the Kurasuno team.

“Hey, you're Sugawara right?” She called out to him. He glanced over and smiled.

“That's me. You're {Y/N} Kozume right? We didn't get a chance to talk at the practice game.” Suga acknowledged. {YN} let out a small chuckle.

“Yeah, the boys on my team are pretty protective. Sorry about that.” she mumbled. “I actually had a question for you.” Suga raised an eyebrow when he noticed her eyes were trained at the sky. He saw her glance at him for a second and hummed in acknowledgment. “Can you see the stars from Miyagi? Here you can't see them very well. The lights get in the way and you can only see the basic shapes. No constellations or the planets.” Out of all the questions she could have asked, he wasn't expecting that. Volleyball questions yes, stars, no.

“You can. There's a hill we would go to as kids to go watch the stars, as well as the fireworks.” He didn't miss the way he eyes lit up, only for a brief second.  

“Really? It must be nice.” If there had been any other noise he wouldn't have heard her reply. She closed he eyes and turned to him with a smile. “I'm sorry for taking up your time. Thank you though for answering my question.” She gave him a small bow before taking off in the direction of her room. Leaving Suga to question if she was ok. He'd have to ask Kuroo next time he saw him. With a sigh he took off towards the showers.

Bokuto had just gotten done practicing with Akaashi, Kuroo and even Tsukishima. How they had convinced the tall blonde to keep coming to the late practices was beyond him. He walked out of the showers with a towel around his shoulders. His usually spiky hair was down and in his eyes. Using his left hand he pulled the silver locks out of his eyes and noticed a figure waiting at the vending machines. He smiled upon seeing the familiar long {H/C} locks.

“Hey hey hey!” he called quietly, well quietly for Bokuto. “What are you doing here?” he questioned. “Not that I'm not happy to see you.” he quickly added with a blush, his hand going to the back of his head. Hearing the small laugh he glanced back at her.

“I was thinking we could go to the hill and look at the stars. There's less lights here than in the city, so you can see them a bit better.” she questioned. Her eyes never met his, they just stayed trained to the floor. She was waiting for the rejection that she's been so used to. Why would anyone want to do something she wanted? Even though he had texted her and said he would like to, she was convinced it was only said out of pity. After all she was drunk when she asked. Opening her mouth to speak again she was cut off by the surprisingly quiet voice of the ace.

“Sure, I'd love to.” he grinned, holding out his hand to her. Shocked {E/C} eyes met smiling gold orbs. Her smile grew larger as she grabbed his hand. “Maybe you can tell me more about Vega. You talked about it the other night.” She blushed when remembering that night.

“We should take a trip to Miyagi for that story. Sugawara said you can see the stars perfectly from there. Less lights, After all its kind of a long story, not to mention its a love story, you sure you want to hear it?” she inquired. No one had shown an interest in the stars when she talked about them. They usually just brushed her off and changed the subject. Bokuto beamed down at her once they had made it to the hill outside the gym.  

“Of course! You eyes always light up whenever you talk about or even look at the stars. You are passionate about it, like I am with volleyball. Even though I'm pretty sure you don't like the sport at all.” he joked as he sat down.

“Its not that I don't like it. Its just all that's ever talked about anymore. I get that it's important, nationals is coming up and its Te-Kuroos third year, but not everyone is as invested in it like he is.” she grumbled while sitting next to him. She laid down on her back to stare at the sky, a little smile still gracing her lips. Bokuto didn't miss her slip up. He noticed how she called him Kuroo instead of Tetsu like she usually does. However, seeing her smile after crying that night, he made sure that he didn't bring it up. She'd talk about it in time, and he wasn't gonna push her.

What the pair were unaware of were a pair of hazel eyes watching them. Kuroo frowned at seeing the scene before him. He couldn't explain the feeling in his chest. He was with Akemi, so why did he feel jealous of Bokuto?

Taglist: @samkysnks​

#bokuto x reader #bokuto angst #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo angst #kenma kozume x sister reader #kenma kuzome #haikyu x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu angst #reader insert fanfiction #bokuto koutarou x reader