#i fucking hate gender lmao

[xamaxenta]

Suddenly feeling incredibly dysphoric in this chilis tonight

#and like im faking this shit #as usual #i fucking hate gender lmao #i have so little love for physical gender #and outward identity #i just want everyone who ever encounters me to just say it or they or them or that person #at this point im so digusted i dunno if i even want masc pronouns anymore #🙃🙃🙃 when will my suffering end #whenever i die unfulfilled i guess. authentic self what the fuck is that? #the possibility to do anything for myself is extremely low. all the people in this country who are trans cant even get a good job #all the workplaces be like we dont discriminate!!!! yeah you do actually #i hate being closeted i hate existing like this. #i hate feeling like im lying to myself or something. #i hate the concept that if i try to help myself i wont be taken seriously #idk maybe im bitter the psych who was supposed to help me just dropped me and left the country and said theyre not doing online and gave #me no other contact to further whatever this shit is #also im poor so i cant afford insurance that could possibly even begin to cover any of my problems #negative sims symbol lol #➖➖🧍 #is it bad that i more or less think about dying every day????? #its bad right #i dont have suicidal ideation #i just think about it. #idk. i dk idk idkc how to continue fucking living like this

[disguisedcheezed]

it's so funny to me when people just believe that john is straight because he said "i'm not a homosexual" once because

1. you are believing the words of a 13 yr old who was 12 the day before.

2. people forget that he's 13 when he said that, and that he is not old enough for a proper romantic relationship.

3. john egbert doesn't think. in fact, he'd rather not AT ALL. like. EVER.

4. why would he think about ever liking a girl? can't he just say it out right if he does?

also, this part in a nutshell:

karkat: DO YOU WANNA BE IN A RELATIONSHI-

john: i am not a homosexual. 👍

5. god king of repression had you fooled FOOL.

and the most ironic part is that it's the same shit homophobic parents say like "yeah, but when you were 13 you said you liked girls soooo"

#homestuck #john egbert #homestuck analysis #hs analysis #hs meta #IT HAS BEEN 14 FUCKING YEARS #man :/ #there is literally no need to post about this only if homestuck fans could actually read #john egbert was queer this whole time? the horror! #literally what his gag was all about lmao #argument happened in twt about johns gender/sexuality instead of saying that hes just queer couldve just ended everything #LMAO #a twt qrt mentioned that this post was about defending my yaoi ship? which is literally not? theyr using it as a reason hate on me lol #i love john egbert so much its painful. dirk strider can die because he failed ME so idrc

[bawltongue]

green

#jonathan davis #jon davis #korn #nu metal #metal #90s #cutie #gender envy holy fuck. fuckfuckcuk.. #but also we have ghe literal same body but for some reason i love it on him and hate it on me LMAO #im so thankful for jonathan he makes me feel content #idk im rambling i just love the guy

[caffeinatedopossum]

I'm experiencing symptoms of the mental illness known as Been Awake Too Long

#ah Been Awake Too Long... we meet again #symptoms of BATL (omg the acronym is literally BATTLE lmao) may include but are not limited to: #thinking everyone hates you #thinking you hate everyone else and/or yourself #deep yearning for things once lost #hopelessness about your goals #experiencing Gender (the bad way) #experiencing or questioning sexuality (also the bad way) #memory loss #contemplating your mortality inevitable death and the fragility of life #thinking 'i should text them' #sudden tearfulness #delirium #loss of all wordly attachments and sense of self #talk to your doctor to see if Going The Fuck To Sleep may be right for you #side effects may include being cozy and saying honk shoo mimimi

[squuote]

saying I ship them is not enough, I need to carefully and intricately explain exactly how their dynamic works and what they mean to each other and how they rely on the other in a detailed fashion that encapsulates exactly how their relationship effects me as a person. I need to put their relationship in a way that is more than just ‘I think they should kiss’ because kissing is gross and I think they should fight each other and fight for each other instead as an act of love. And because there’s so many ways to love, defining it through only a small selection of actions does it no justice. I need to explain the ways they care for the other, especially the parts that are never spoken. The intricacies of love as a concept that aren’t bound to a simple romance will be spilled once I get my damn hands on it

#crow thoughts #this can be applied to like. three different things ships of mine lmao #man you’d think as a loveless aro with no intention of getting into a relationship of any kind #you think I’d probably be hating this but no. sorry I am obsessed with pushing the bounds of what love is #love is such an intricate concept that is expressed in so many ways and has so many different views #I will forever hate the people that simplified and dumbed it down to a specific platonic or romantic man fuck that for real #it’s exactly how I feel with the concept of gender; a wide concept with an array of options simplified down to control a medium #I don’t get love and I never will and I fully accept that #but dammit I will not sit here and let others define what it means to me. im too tired for that and too stubborn to comply anymore #romance is dead and I will be it’s killer

[buttercup-barf]

Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.

Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.

That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.

The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.

Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.

Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.

#team fortress 2 #tf2 #that's it that's the only tags i am putting this in. maybe someday i will have the balls to do more but for now that's about it #while i have the chance - and since posts with more of my yapping in the tags don't pop in people's feeds much - i might as well ramble- #-about these guys here. self-inserts or not i'm projecting only half of my bullshit on each one of them. creativity 👍 #backup is tall and pale and has sharp canines and more of a dull brown hair colour with tired grey eyes. no amount of babyface or soft- #-hands can really help a motherfucker when he's grimacing so much because he just Hates being around half the people on the team. #cleaner meanwhile is on the shorter side and has constantly flushed skin and brighter colours and whatnot. you can't see it because of the- #-mask most of the time but they do smile a lot more and have a more cheery disposition towards life and see the whole team as their friends! #backup transitioned fully (albeit not very legally lmao) and is scared shitless of not being seen as a man although the last time that ever- #-came up was years ago. he holds onto his last name as part of the heritage he loves and loathes at the same time - attached to his culture- #-and religion and bloodline while also resentful of his family and the regime he knows someone else on the team suffered under. #cleaner just kinda binds and calls it a day. he only does it to confuse the team because while he doesn't identify with being a girl he- #-loves the confused looks his epic gender reveal moment gets. they do not remember their family name or where they grew up or what even got- #-them to this kind of mental state. and he's chill with it he values the here and now way more than some dark edgy backstory. #backup despite trying to be an honest man is afraid of vulnerability as well. he stubbornly refuses to express love towards certain people- #-lest they feel disgusted and turn away. he's afraid of consequences afraid of losing the people he loves afraid of his ''interests'' being- #-what drives them away. it doesn't by the way and he just wasted time being a cold indecisive loser for several months lmao #cleaner wears a suit that hides all of them yes but they pretty much never lie. he is always his truest self and he can always just burn- #-people who don't like him enough to make it a problem. they are a lot more comfortable indulging in their interests - be they innocent- #-and juvenile or violent and dangerous. he is quite open with his affection and his fascinations that backup would rather keep secret. #i want to establish that these two can only exist in separate universes because they both have feelings towards the funny assistant lady- #-and the funny inventor guy (selfshipping for the winnn) and would fight over those two. cleaner would win by the way #it's also a really funny point of comparison. cleaner is objectively more fucked up than backup and still managed to be more normal about- #-their feelings and live as a healthier and happier person than that guy. comedic gold honestly #OKAY I'M DONE if you read up to here you get uhhh a cookie :-)

[leofrith]

if you genuinely think some of the female characters in that ac bracket are ONLY winning because they're women then idk what to tell you lmao please be fucking serious

#i truly do not give a shit if people dislike eivor or kassandra or whoever for whatever reason #because while i do love them i DO touch the occasional grass and i know the new games have Problems #but so do all the rest of them and the idea that ANY female ac character has a leg up because of her gender is so. lmao #read the fucking room most people in the wider fanbase hate them and even plenty of people ON tumblr hate them! #fucking ubisoft could clearly not care less about them #get a grip #ky posts text

[the-nightmare-theater]

me if i see one (1) more person severely mischaracterize bedman

#this is about the people calling him a misogynist. #im This fucking close to making a post detailing why he isnt one #im so mad like. honestly im a bit embarrassed by how mad i am lmao #like yes!!!!!! hes a bad person!!!!!! hes bad in different ways though #calling him a misogynist genuinely is just flat out misinfo #uggghhhhhh i meant to be asleep by now but ive spent the past 30 mins being mad at people on the internet #over whats probably bait #but UGGGH just the thought of someone believing that makes me just wanna fucking strangle someone #ignore me im just venting my frustration with this whole thing #nightmare ramble #vent #honestly i wouldnt even call him a fundashi i dont have that hc for him but calling him a misogynist is flat out wrong but could actually- #-be mistaken as the truth #by people who dont know the character well #he!!!!!! literally hates everyone besides his sister!!!!!!!!! #he hates women And men!!!!!!!!!!! #and nb people too although we havent seen him interact with a nb person in canon so the jurys still out on that ig #literally fucking says in his character bio that he doesnt care for age or gender #please learn how to fucking read ffs #anyways im gonna try to sleep now thats off my chest #edit: the term wasnt fundashi it was himejoshi #i mixed them up in my defense its 8am

[teja-has-puppet-autism]

y'know sometimes I go to make a post on this here webbed site, and I almost always end up deletin it cause I measure it through the "how widely applicable is this" + "how horribly can people twist this" metrics and it just stops my little fingies from typin

(this turned into me typing an essay in the tags cause I very much did need to process some shit lmao)

#I have thoughts I wanna get out there #but also I have had people threaten me and harrass me for far less than my thoughts of #'hey maybe my community isn't fuckin normal about trans women' and #'you can be fucked in the gender and also not use transmisogynistic stereotypes and terminologies to do that' #while also pointing out that transmasculine experiences are frequently ignored erased minimized and criticized habitually #(I have eliminated my worries via tag talk lmao so i will keep on processin down here) #Like idk its such a difficult intersection of shit because obviously a lot of transmasculine folks have experienced primarily if not only #other transmasc spaces online and have some deep set transmisogyny going on and then also the other way around of a lot of transfeminine #folk have primarily if not only interacted within transfem spaces and have deep set transmisogyny goin on #(which I'm not gonna argue on transmisogyny being a transfem only word or about transandrophobia or anti-transmasculinity my verbige is #constantly changing around this topic because of the shit that gets hurled at transmascs that use any of the transmasc specific words or th #OG word that applies to the misogyny experienced and intertwined with transness just: language is hard and imperfect so I'm using what I'm #using right now) #and anyway so those two groups of folk clash on their own and have a lot of strained and difficult communication and then there's a third #group that intentionally causes further rifts by trolling and sending hate anons and making accounts pretending to be transfem or transmasc #and shitting on ''the other side'' (heavy HEAVY quotations on that one) #and that all combines into an absolute clusterfuck of lack of understanding or sympathy from either 'side' of things for the other #there is just a lack of fundamental knowledge about our brothers sisters and others shared between us all and it is INFURIATING

[bastardsofravenkroft-blog]

wait what happened with pissditching? im p sure you talked abt them in an ask response but i never understood what happened...

basically pissditching is friends with revengeromance and girlgerard (both of whom i dislike atp*) i said something in the tags of a post abt how i was pissed at revengeromance for something (unrelated) and pissditching found it and lowkey harassed me and several friends over it and said some real fucking weird shit to me so i blocked them (and probably said something snarky abt them on main but i dont really remember)

*i dont personally like these two users bc they (specifically gg) are the forefront of call gerard way nothing but she/her and i think thats fucking weird 🙂 personally. so i have them blocked and don’t interact with anyone around them at all.

#so in the tags of a random post i mentioned leo. so like. what was pissditching doing on my blog huh. i know but i dont want to get that far #into it honestly. at least publicly. but i know what they were doing lmao #do i make an ass of myself on the internet at times for reminding ppl someone’s prns? yeah probably. jokes and affection can be okay #but every. fucking. time. is so fucking weird. and gross. at least to me but what do i know. anyways #theres two ppl in that circle who i really hate enough to not mention here.i have nothing neutral to say at all. neither are gg or pd. #anyways this is also why i don’t interact with most of the fandom anymore its just so exhausting #ppl say that sort of shit to g. and as a qnc/queer person it just gets to me yk #btw im not posting this to “start drama”. dont even. the “gender wars” are such bullshit it’s embarrassing #crimson answers #crimson speaks #reportinglivefromsoda #the jester #the flunkies

[chaos-in-one]

Transphobes: You can't be trans!!! You're not dysphoric and your gender is too weird and you don't even try to pass!!

Me: oh, so sad

Me: Anyways *continues to be trans*

#like sorry but you can't change my gender lmao #and I don't 'pass' because I'm gnc just say you hate gnc people too atp #trans #transgender #nonbinary #genderfluid #pangender #agender #genderqueer #mirrorgender #all my gender labels ^^^ btw #nondysphoric trans #nondysphoric #tucute #transtrender #but reclaimed bc fuck you <3 #anti transmed #transphobia #trans gnc #gnc trans

[sparrowmoth]

Tagged by @dearmrsawyer. Thank you, hun! It's actually been a while since someone tagged me in something like this, so let's goooo... 💖

Last song: Currently listening to "The Kiss" by Luigi Rubino (from one of my fave sweet and melancholy instrumental piano albums)

Favourite colour: Purple... but I think hot pink is really creeping in on me tbh. The more I detach it from ridiculous and arbitrary gender meanings, the more I love it. I just bought a hot pink bedspread so.

Currently reading: "Shark Heart: A Love Story" by Emily Habeck. Very slowly, because I'm a snail, but I love it. My best friend got it for her book of the month thing recently and lent it to me after she read it because after she told me about it, I was looking at her like 👁 👁 (which is to say that I was extremely intrigued adjkgjkdgd)

Currently watching: Nothing, really. I haven't been in the mood for TV in weeks, so I've just been watching ACNH island tours on YouTube while I eat lunch sometimes and that's about it lol

Sweet/savoury/spicy: Sweet or spicy depending on my mood

Relationship status: Single mom of one dog djakgjkdd

Current obsession: Six of Crows/Shadow and Bone, no contest. If it's not about the Crows (capital C), I don't care. It's been a little over a year since this hyperfixation jumped me in a back alley and you know what, I've never been happier. I've met so many cool people in this fandom, made a bunch of amazing friends, my writing and art is flourishing... so yeah, I'm gonna be living here for a lifetime.

Last thing searched: Either perfume ingredients or how to alleviate rib pain, because I fucked something up in my ribs idk dajkgjkdg

Tagging (no pressure): @finitevoid @jazzythursday @waterloou @nerdlingmerchling @sixofcrowdaydreams @wespertilionidae @tinyarmedtrex @sunfl8wer and whoever else wants to do this!

#thank you for the tag! <3 #tag games #when did hot pink become my favourite colour lmao #I used to hate hate haaaaate pink so much for most of my life #but actually what I hated is being boxed into a gender role #surprise surprise #anyway hot pink fucks #it's so obnoxiously pink #I think that's why I like it #dajksgjkdjkgd #my room is slowing becoming just..... hot pink and crows #love that for me

[suavis]

season two of the wilds wasn’t even bad. it just wasn’t. hell they even gave the most popular ships content??? and the fandom ate that shit up but now they’ve like fucking turned on it and are talking shit acting like the show became awful with the introduction of the guys like fuck off the only thing their introduction did for the show was give it more nuance

#yall will say fuck terfs and then spout absolute gender essentialist bullshit LMAO #like yes it was promoted as an all girls show the first season but the boys got a quarter of the show's screentime despite making up half #the main cast can yall not even let them have THAT???? #i used to be neutral on the boys but tbh this shit is making me want to start defending them with my life #just. they were GOOD for the show? they brought a new perspective and addressed heavy shit in a fairly sensitive way id say #and ultimately i ended up LIKING most of them yknow? as a self professed man hating lesbian even i can acknowledge when some male characters #are good #the wilds #mine

[foxgloveinspace]

*cracks open a starbucks energy drink*

hey guys, I know I've done this like, 80 times, but I'm pretty sure I'm bi with a preference of men. I'll probably still say I'm a gay, but like. just so y'all know.

#very much so #idk coming out is dumb but I thought I'd let y'all know lmao #i mean..... idk... #women pretty. want to hold hand.... men pretty. want to hold hand.... you feel me?? #also have some gender fuckery going on. i am a guy but I don't hate how i look and also I think i don't hate being called a girl and also I #want to look like a girl but also I want to look like a girl who doens't have a hard time passing as a guy when I want to and I also don't #want anyone who knows me to call me a girl I just want my friends and family to call me a guy thanks #also anon is off if your gonna be a t/e/r/f be a t/e/r/f to my fucking FACE you coward! I'm not a girl and I'm not a bi girl (tho i am bi) #I am a bi guy who says fuck gender you here me? #I have had many anons who pissed me off ok?? Anon used to be off on my blog for years and years for a reason lmao #idkkkkkk where this is going tbh.. thanks for reading my rant

[theboyskisser]

Anyone else get immediately repulsed by reader insert fanfics to the point they can't even read any bc of crippling self esteem issues or am I the only person who has to scroll past all of these juicy ass fanfictions on here 😭

#i hate it so much lmao #i wanna read them but i get so grossed out and cringey like nooo anyone else but me STFU lmao #female!reader is literally my enemy #its on sight w me and female reader #no offense to her it just makes my gender feelings pissed off #i bet shes cool to hang out with #she sure fucks #i know that #good for her

[sailorsunspot]

i want to ask the general public why they feel the need to ensure that lesbians are also sexually and romantically available to men.

WHY do you feel the need to dilute the meaning of the term to make it an identity that is 1) an identity that can be used by men (and no this is not terfy trans-exclusionary rhetoric, I'm talking specifically about people who identify as men, specifically) and 2) an identity that does not exclude sexual and romantic attraction to men ask yourself why you are OH SO WILLING to literally divorce womenhood from the identity. is it actually "progressive", or is this your internalized misogyny and entitlement talking.

#some of y'all fucking HATE women #and it fucking shows #ive talked about this here sometimes #about my lamentations about how young queers have pivoted so hard as to literally reject womanhood #but this manifestation of it is...fucking sinister #what fucking performative bullshit #and to who's benefit?? #yeah yeah people have a complex relationship with gender #i fucking get it lmao im a gnc masc butch #but HOW does diluting the term ive taken for myself and muddling the waters help anyone #if you told me to my face that sometimes lesbians are attracted to men #id fucking punch you