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countcvnt · 2 months

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Experiment

Chapter One: Scrambled

[Poly!TF141/Fem!Reader]

Summary: Your memory is hazy, almost nonexistent, after being plucked out of a safe house and experimented on for months. When you're finally rescued you don't remember the people closest to you. Warnings: Canon Typical Violence (not much else this chapter), me using an english to scottish translator, not beta read Word Count: 3.3k A/N: Had this silly idea and turned it into a serious/angsty fic. I hope you all will like it as much as I do! Also, Reader has a call sign! It's Ace. If you prefer, you can read it here on AO3

Your eyes are heavy, your body burns, and you can't stop shaking. You aren't even sure of where you are. Your eyes are trained ahead of you, looking at what you assume is a two way mirror. A scientist is standing to the side of you messing with some needles and medicines. Your half lidded eyes cut towards him and you see a thick blue substance in a syringe.

“What's that?” You croak, voice hoarse.

“Hm?” The scientist doesn't even look at you, “curious now, are we?” He asks, pulling the syringe up and turning to you. He doesn't answer your question though, not in a way you would like. “We are about to figure out what this is.”

‘We’. Your stomach flips. He didn't even seem to know what it was. You accept your fate. You have from the very beginning. You don't know how long you've been part of this ‘program’, and to you, it didn't matter anymore. The only thing that matters is trying to get out alive. No one seemed to be coming for you. No one has in all of the days you've been hidden away. You didn't expect anyone to save you now. So, you had decided to save yourself. Figuring out how to do that was becoming difficult though.

You know that behind that two way mirror are a bunch of guards. You know they're heavily armed. You know, no matter what they have juiced you up with, you aren't beating a bunch of armed men. So, you sit idly. Letting them poke and prod and decide you are going to wait until the perfect opportunity shows itself. You just have to hold on until it does.

A loud alarm suddenly rings throughout the building and you cover your ears, flinching. The scientist seems more agitated than anything. He doesn't seem as bothered as you are, by any means.

“Guards!” He calls out, looking towards the large mirror. “Guards?” He questions.

He puts a finger up at you, asking for you to wait a minute. As if you have any other choice. A loud bang comes from outside the room and chills run up your spine. The guard walks towards the door and he peeks out. He quickly shuts and locks the door before returning back to you. He scurries over towards the metal stand beside your seat. He grabs the syringe and picks it up.

Something clicks in you. The alarms are still blaring and the guards seem to be gone to check it out. You watch as the syringe comes towards you, headed right for your neck. You move faster than you're used to, and grab the man’s hand and push him back. A lot harder than you had meant to. He slides back and hits the wall. The syringe does not leave his hand.

You rush towards the door. You wiggle the door knob and try to rip the door open. It doesn't budge. You turn your head back and see the scientist steadying himself. Fear kicks in.

“Help!” You scream, slamming your fists into the door. “Please, help me!”

“That was really stupid,” the man behind you says. “No one can hear you, no one is coming to save you. They haven't yet, have they?”

Tears prick your eyes. You turn back around and your back hits the door.

“Y'know, I'm going to be honest.” He stalks towards you. “I know they picked you because you're so… compliant. But really? I think that big guy with the mask would have been a better choice.”

That stings. “Who?”

“Which one?”

“Both.”

“You know I can't give out classified information. But if this works, I promise, you'll know everything. As for the other guy? I'm surprised you don't know who I'm talking about. But honestly, after all the brain scrambling you've had done to you, I understand how you don't remember him…”

You lose it. Something in you snaps. You lunge forward and grab the man. The both of you tussle briefly. Until you get him pinned. Your body slams into his and you hold him down. You raise your fist and bring it down, slamming it into his jaw. Screams, pleas fall from his lips. He's begging for you to quit. But you don't. You, at that moment, decide you are going to do that to every single person who has harmed you, who caused this.

The door behind you blows open, but you don't falter. Your fists continue to slam into the scientist’s face. Until you hear someone with a Scottish accent say your name. You freeze. You turn to find a man in the doorway, his eyes wide. You furrow your brows when he whispers your name again. You move to get up, without thinking about the man below you. You don't realize he's moving. His hand comes up and the needle is pressed into your neck. Whatever the liquid was is quickly administered into your bloodstream.

You hear your name again, louder this time, but you fall to the side, eyes too heavy to hold open. Your head slams into the now bloodied white tile and you're out.

So much for escaping. _____________________________________ You wake up to beeping. A sound you had grown accustomed to recently. You feel monitors hooked up to you, and an IV in your arm. You twitch ever so slightly, every muscle in your body contracting. And then it hits.

Anger.

Your eyes snap open. Your legs swing over the side of the bed. You rip every single monitor off of you, the IV flying across the room. The monitor begins to beep loudly and as you rush towards the door, exiting the isolated room, an alarm blares. You flinch momentarily, but do not let the sound stop you. You are looking for someone, anyone to give you a hint of what's going on. Nothing around you looks familiar. But from all the ‘brain scrambling’, that's normal. You're used to not knowing as much as you figure you used to.

A man in a bucket hat turns the corner, rushing towards what can only assume is you. You let out a low growl and begin to sprint. Your body slams into his and the both of you are sent sliding across the floor. You grab his vest and lower yourself to him, all of your weight holding him down. “Where the fuck am I?”

He's looking at you with confused eyes. He doesn't make any sudden movements. He immediately presents himself as a friend, not a threat. You squint and then see someone else coming around the corner.

“Price! Oh my-” the young man freezes. He says your name and your world is instantly rocked.

You haven't heard your name in god knows how long. The Scottish man had called out for you earlier, but before that? You really can't think of a time when someone had called you something other than some experiment number. “Who are you?” You hiss.

You feel the man under you tense up. He swallows hard and he says your name this time, slow and soft. He isn't showing any signs of wanting to throw you across the room or knock the shit out of you. You take it he isn't a threat and shift.

“You don't remember me?” The man in the ball cap asks, brows furrowed. “You don't remember us?”

Your heart jumps into your throat. You push yourself off of the man below you and you stand up. You brush yourself off and watch as he stands up. He radios someone to cut off the alarm and it's promptly stopped. You are thankful for that. You stand in the hall awkwardly and watch him and the other, younger man talk to each other with facial expressions.

“You're probably hungry,” the man in the bucket hat turns towards you, “how about we go get you some food?”

You aren't stupid, you know that also entails speaking with them about everything you just went through. Despite not wanting to talk, you nod. You are hungry and haven't had an actual meal in possibly months. The man reaches out to touch your lower back, to lead you to wherever he wants to go. You flinch away from him, everything in you tensing. You can tell it's a reflex. A habit. He's used to doing that. Your eyes scan him and you're searching your brain for everything, anything about him. But there's nothing.

“Sorry.” Is all he says. He leaves it at that. “Gaz,” he looks away from you and towards the other man. “Please go grab some food and meet us back at room 2B.”

“Yes, sir.”

The tension is palpable. You want to run. Fast. You can. You know you can. But something is keeping you tethered there. You follow a couple feet behind the man who had yet to introduce himself and keep thinking about ‘Gaz’. Your mind is reeling. You keep thinking about his name, his face, everything. You close your eyes tight and inhale sharply.

“Kyle.” It's all you say. It stops you dead in your tracks. Your eyes open and your breathing is heavy. “His name is Kyle.” Your breathing is suddenly ragged. You can't catch your breath and feel like everything is crumbling in on you. You fall to your knees and try to keep yourself from wailing. “I don't even know your name!” You whisper to keep yourself from sobbing. Your voice cracks.

“Price. John Price.” He drops in front of you. He reaches for your bicep. You don't flinch away this time. “Hey,” his voice is low, “look at me.” Your eyes cut up to him. “We're gonna help you through this. I promise.” You nod. You want to trust him. You need to. You feel like you can. You inhale slowly and Price helps you up. “We're going to go to room 2B, you're going to eat some breakfast, and we're going to ask you some questions.”

You nod and start following Price again. You make it to the room in silence and Price opens the door for you. You walk in and find four beige walls, a table, and four chairs. Nothing else. Until you look in the corner of the room and find a little camera. You lock onto it and squint.

“Why?” You point at it.

“Oh,” Price walks in and closes the door behind him, “it’s protocol. Security and all.”

“Fair enough.” You sit down at the table and look at the Price. “You gonna sit?”

Price holds onto his vest and leans against the table. “Not yet.”

You shrug. “Suit yourself.” Your stomach growls. You touch it through the thin white shirt you're wearing. “You think Gaz will be here soon?”

With that, a knock comes from the other side of the door. Two knocks, a pause, and another knock. Price opens the door and Gaz walks in. He has a tray filled with food and you are growing antsy. He sits across from you and slides the tray towards you. You try to not immediately dig in, but you can't help it. You grab a glazed donut first and begin to devour it.

“Oh,” you pause your munching, “thank you, Kyle.”

Gaz freezes. His eyes widen and he turns towards Price. It's your turn to freeze. You look up at him mid bite and blink. Gaz motions towards you and asks, “Did you tell her my name.”

“No.” Price shakes his head.

“You remembered?” Gaz seems ecstatic. “What else do you-”

“Nothing.” You snap. “I don't remember a damn thing.” You huff as you move onto the muffin on the tray. You unwrap it and begin to devour the sweet. “All I know,” You speak through bites, “is that I was locked up for God knows how long and they were experimenting on me-”

“Four months.” Gaz speaks quietly.

“Huh?” You question him. “How do you know?”

“We looked for you when you disappeared. It was four months ago when they got you. You really don’t remember anything?”

“Like I said,” You huff, “I just know they were juicing me up.” Before they can question you further, a light bulb goes off in your head. “Wait.” You squint at them, “The Scottish one. Where is he?”

They tense up. Gaz talks first, “You remember Soap?”

“Huh?” You cock your head. “Is that his name? He’s the one that found me. I assume he’s here. Or did he not…” You trail off.

“No, he’s here…” Price begins, “…We don’t want to overwhelm you.”

“Oh.” You shrug. “I guess that makes sense. How am I supposed to, uh, assimilate without being overwhelmed. I mean, why don’t we just rip that band aid off?”

“Trust me,” Price locks eyes with you, “we do not need to rip that band aid off right now.”

“Okay, okay,” You put your hands up. “Do you wanna ask your questions now?” _____________________________________ “This cannae be healthy,” Soap looks at Simon.

Simon shrugs, “Don’t care.” He’s watching the cameras closely.

“Thay aren't even in th' room yit! Ye'r peepin' an empty room!” Soap’s eyes move from the screen and back to Simon.

Simon’s eyes cut from the screen and to Soap, “Shut it. Price wants us to stay away from her for now. He didn’t say we couldn’t do this.”

As he says that, the door of the room opens. Price is visible first. And then, another figure walks in. You. Simon and Soap both tense. You look directly at the camera and point, asking why it’s there. You’re so clear. Soap’s heart jumps. Simon shifts.

“She remembers Gaz’s name.” Simon speaks through gritted teeth.

“A'm sure that's a targeted attack against ye, Ghost.” Soap is trying to find humor in this situation. He’s grasping for straws.

Simon is not enjoying it. “Shut the fuck up, Johnny.” Simon growls.

Soap focuses back on the screen and notices you aren’t even sure how long you’ve been gone. As Gaz gently tells you four months, Simon grumbles the amount of time at the same time.

“If Price doesn’t wanna overwhelm her, why the fuck is Gaz in there.” Simon is seething. “Why can’t we all be in there.”

Simon shuts his mouth as you say they had been juicing you up. He tenses. Soap does the same. They both need to know what it means. Simon feels like he’s going to combust. His eyes narrow once you mention Soap. Soap looks like he’s about to jump with joy, until he realizes you don’t actually remember him. Not past him saving you.

“Fuck this,” Simon pushes past Soap. “I'm going in there.”

“Hey! Price said-” Soap starts. He doesn't finish. “Fine-” he rushes out behind Simon. He guesses they're just going to bust into the room and Simon is going to make you remember. He isn't quite sure what Simon has planned really. But he decides he can't sit in the security room and just watch. He needs to see you.

So does Simon. _____________________________________ You reach for a fork for your eggs and lean back in your seat, plate in hand. You relax (as much as possible) and you look at Gaz and Price. You are studying them. Really digging into their features. You want to remember so badly. You have no reason to trust that they used to know you, a part of you is ready to attack in case they are lying. But most of you trusts them. How else would you remember Kyle’s name?

“Listen,” Price inhales sharply, “we want to help you, without overwhelming you. We need to know what you know.”

“Listen,” You mimic his tone, “I don’t know what you aren’t getting. I remember nothing, nada, zilch.”

“Okay,” Gaz interjects, “What’s your last memory?”

You're sent into deep thought. You place your hand on your chin and look off. “Well-” You begin, “I remember-”

The door of the room busts open. You tense, ready to pounce. Your palms hit the table and you stand up straight. The fork clangs against the ground. Two men walk into the room. The one who saved you and-

Words play in your head over and over again. ‘I think the big guy with the mask would have been a better choice.’ For a moment, your world is completely rocked. ‘I’m surprised you don’t know who I'm talking about.’ Your eyes lock with the large beast of a man. His eyes soften. Briefly. You swallow hard.

The entire room is silent. Until you open your mouth. “He wanted you…”

“What?” Soap is the first to question you.

“The scientist, the one doing the experiments on me-” You are tense again “-he didn’t want me.” Your head hurts. You place your hand on your forehead and groan. You are thinking too hard. Remembering too much.

“Hey,” Price motions for you to sit down, “it’s alright.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Ghost,” Price looks over his shoulder, “not right now.”

Ghost stiffens. He doesn’t say anything else. You sit down and inhale slowly. Your eyes move from the floor, past Price, and they hit Ghost. You feel something stir inside you. Like your emotions know more than your brain does. You want to scream. Every single man in that room seems to think so highly of you, and you don’t even remember them.

“I think I need to sleep.” Your voice is a whisper.

You don’t know the last time you got a good rest. You figure sleeping will help you. Price begins to grab for you, before freezing. You lean into him, letting him help you up. Price moves past the men and you tag along beside him.

“I’m going to show you where your room is. If you need anything, please let one of us know. But for now, we’ll leave you alone.” You are led down the hall and towards the barracks. It’s silent between the two of you, until you reach your room. “You have this room to yourself. I had some things rearranged, if it needs to be changed, and you aren’t comfortable alone, let me know.”

You nod at him. “Thank you. For everything. I’ll see you in the morning?”

“0600 sharp.” Price begins to leave.

“Wait,” You stop him. “You don’t happen to have my phone, do you?”

Price turns back to you. “No, that was not recovered. But, we can get you a new one. I’ll work on that while you rest.”

You nod. You head into your room and close the door behind you. You look around. There are two beds. You groan at the fact you can’t remember who used to be your bunk mate. You’re scraping through your brain, really searching for just an inkling of a memory. But… Nothing. Nothing at all comes to your mind.

Nothing about the four men convinced that you know them, anyway.

You lay down in bed and cover up. It’s not the most comfortable bed you’ve ever been in, but it is the most comfortable bed you’ve laid on in the last four months. Your head hits the pillows and you close your eyes. It takes longer than you’d like to go to sleep, but not as long as you expect it to take. You only hope you don’t dream of anything at all. You can’t be that lucky. _________________________________ “Price!” Simon shouts at the captain. His face contorted with anger and pain, and he is more glad than ever that they can’t see him through his balaclava. “What the fuck was that? We need to know-”

“No,” Price stops him immediately. “We do not need to stress her out further. We will figure this out eventually, on her time.” Price reassures his team. “You did not see the look in her eyes, the way she tackled me to the floor-”

“She what…?” Soap tenses.

Simon bristles instantly. He’s seething again. “What do you mean?”

“Ghost,” Gaz starts, “I know you want to know what happened. We all do.” He’s trying to get through to him. “But something is not right. The way she easily took Captain Price down- That wasn’t the Ace we know.”

“Of course!” Simon growls, “She was gone for four months, being poked and prodded-”

“Ghost,” Price interrupts, inhaling sharply, “she pinned me down and I could not get up. They did more than poke and prod at her. They-”

It clicks. “They were making soldiers… Enhanced soldiers.” Simon whispers. His face contorts again, this time with confusion, “Why did they pick her?” He remembers what you said. ‘He wanted you.’ Simon momentarily feels a pit in his stomach. “Ace couldn’t have been the only one… There’s no way they did this experiment on one person.”

“She was the only one at the underground compound.” Soap shifts. “Maybe she was the only success?”

Simon is stuck on why they picked you. It’s not like you weren’t capable. But you were never on the field fighting for your life. You were always on the sidelines, helping them get into the places, helping them get information. How had they spotted you and decided you were the best candidate? He knows that question is going to keep him up at night.

“Come on,” Price brings Simon back to reality. “We got a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

#ghost x reader #john price x reader #john soap mctavish x reader #kyle gaz garrick #gaz x reader #john soap mactavish #john price #cod x reader #cod #call of duty #call of duty x reader #simon ghost riley #cod mw2 #captain john price #x reader

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wonderlandwalker · 27 days

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First Impressions | Eddie Munson x Reader

Stranger Things Masterlist / Inbox

Summary: Eddie learns that Dustin has a recently reunited sister, and from the moment he meets you he's a goner.

Content Warnings / Tags: Pure fluff, henderson!reader, tiny mention of a fight but nothing descriptive, not edited, no use of y/n

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: Eddie brain rot cause I couldn't keep it in. Don't know if this is my best work but I'm planning to write more chapters on this so it's just a start, hope you like it

“You need a ride home after this?” It was more of a formality than an actual question, he always drove Dustin home after a session.

“Oh that’s okay, my sister is picking me up.” Dustin didn’t even look up from packing his things away, but Eddie’s head shot up.

“Your- you have a sister, since when?” As far as he knew Dustin was an only child, but now he was wrecking his brain trying to think if he had ever mentioned you before.

“I know you’re bad at math Eddie, but I just told you she’s driving so try and put the pieces together.” Dustin was looking up at him now, challenging him.

“Alright smartass, it’s time for you to shut up.” He told him as he ruffled through his hair, leaving behind an agitated Dustin trying frantically to fix it.

The others had already gone home, but Dustin stayed behind late to help Eddie finish up, a habit that became more and more common as the two grew closer. When they finished packing up Eddie locked the door behind them, and while walking to the parking lot decided he wasn’t quite done interrogating Dustin.

“If you have an older sister, how come I've never seen her around before?”

“I mean she’s been around during holidays before, she lived with dad though but they had a big fight so she’s moved here.” It seemed like a sore topic, so Eddie dropped it for now.

As they got to the entrance of the school and felt the cool air on their skin Eddie indeed noticed another car in the usually empty lot, and you were sitting on the hood of it, a book in your hands as you patiently waited. The last rays of sunshine graced your figure as if the heavens themselves were blessing you, and Eddie had never been so sure he’d seena goddess in his life. It was just like the tales he knew so well, the ones he still devoted his life to, it was as if they were becoming true. You looked up when you heard them approach, smiling at the sight of them and giving Dustin a quick side hug as they reached you.

“It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot of good things.” You held your hand out for Eddie to take, but all he could do was look at it, staring ahead as if hitting pause in a game, he stood still. He wanted to react, to not make the most horrible first impression possible, but the longer he looked at you the worse it got, getting lost in sight of your smile. “Alright, not a fan of handshakes, notes.” You chuckled as you withdrew your hand, and Eddie cursed himself for not having taken the opportunity to feel how soft your skin must’ve been. You looked at him again, your eyes piercing straight through his soul and he wondered if maybe he had found himself in one of his fantasy worlds, he must have. But the next second he shook himself out of it, because you were real, you were real and in front of him and expecting him to say something.

“I’m Eddie.” he said, nodding his head as if to confirm his own statement.

“So I’ve been told.” Another giggle slipped past your lips, and Eddie wasnt sure if it was from nerves or entertainment, but he was dying to hear more of it, even if he had to make a fool of himself to do so.

Dustins head kept going back and forth as if watching a tennis match of idiocracy. He had never seen Eddie so flustered, so used to the man flaunting with every opportunity that presented itself that this seemed quite out of character. In full disclosure, it was kind of freaking him out to see Eddie so beside himself, and it was freaking him out even further that he couldn’t figure out why. It was probably blatantly obvious to anyone else, but maybe it was for the best that Dustin couldn’t place where the tension originated from, either way, his patience had run out

“Can we go home now, I still have to call Mike to discuss our net strategies” You tore your eyes from Eddie, deciding that maybe it was for the best to head home.

“Yeah alright, maybe I’ll see you around Eddie.” You gave him one last smile as you got in the car with Dustin and drove off, but it took him another minute to pick his shambled ego up from the concrete ground as he berated himself for not being able to utter one coherent sentence. As he got in his van and drove home as well he decided he’d have to grill Dustin for more information on you the next time he’d see him. As he got to the trailer he grumbled a hello to Wayne before disappearing to his room, ignoring the backhanded comment he got about his grumpy disposition.

He wondered if he’d ever be able to convince you he was cool, whether he’d be able to get you to agree to see him again, but after what just transpired he figured the odds were slim. Not that he’d give up so easily, he didn’t have much of a reputation to lose and if he’d be able to get you to laugh again that would be more than enough. But he didn’t get to wonder for long as Wayne knocked on his door, he was ready to tell the man to leave him alone, but the next sentence was one that confused him immensely

“Someone on the phone for you.” Wayne held the phone out to him, expecting him to get up from the bed and take it, but Eddie didn’t move an inch.

“For me, you sure?” He was still not quite sure what to do. “Unless another Eddie is living here I’m pretty sure.” He moved his hand again to accentuate the phone that was still on hold, but once again Eddie just sat there.

“If you want I can tell her to call back-” That’s when he sprung into action, snatching the phoen out of Wayne’s hand

“No! No, I got it. Thank you.” The old man simply chuckled as he left again, closing the door behind him to give his nephew some privacy.

Eddie cleared his throat once before picking up the line put on hold.

“Hello?” he asked, still not quite sure what to do.

“Hi, Eddie it’s me, just wanted to see if you were doing alright.” your sweet voice blessed his ears once more. He doesn’t know what he did to get the universe on his side like this, but he was grateful for it nonetheless.

“Yeah I’m good, listen-” Eddie figured this time he shouldn’t waste his chance, and he probably had some making up to do. “- I’m sorry if I freaked you out earlier, just never seen anyone that pretty before.” You were giggling again, and it brought the biggest grin onto his face. “You didn’t weird me out at all, it was kinda cute. I had to bribe Dustin to let me use the phone so I don’t have much time but I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go out this weekend?” Maybe he should’ve waited a beart before answering, but he was too eager to care.

“Go out, as in a date?” It got him blushing, the red creeping up on his cheeks as he wondered if that’s really what you were asking

“I mean, kinda, if you want to.” He could almost see you blushing on the other side of the line as well, and he decided it was now or never.

“I’d love to.”

“That’s great, I’m still kind of new around here, do you know any good places?” Your smile was present as you spoke, and he was already looking forward to seeing it again, now knowing he wouldn’t have to wait long.

“How about I come and pick you up, we can go to the mall.” His confidence was growing with the minute now, absolutely elated by the turn of events.

“Im looking forward to it” He wondered what you’d wear, knowing whatever it was it would look beautiful on you, and he knew he’d spend the entire date amazed at your presence.

“Me too” he said before the both of you hung up the phone, he had already started planning the most amazing evening out, and maybe, he thought, maybe this year really would take a turn for the better.

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derinwrites · 19 days

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How can I make money writing fiction?

I'm gonna be straight with you. There is no guarantee that you'll make enough as an independent writer to make it worth your time. You very well might -- I make a liveable wage as an independent writer -- but many don't. Most writers I know also have a job. And luck plays a big part in it.

If you're interested in going forward in spite of this, you have two main options for monetisation open to you, and you are going to have to pick one. I call them the sales model and the sponsorship model, and you are going to have to pick one.

The sales model involves writing stories and selling them to readers. You can put books up on Amazon or Smashwords, sell them direct from your own website, enlist the help of a traditional publisher to handle that for you and let them decide where to sell, whatever -- the point is that your money is made from the sale of books to readers. If you go with a traditional publisher, you're using this model (though they will give you some of the money ahead of time in the form of an advance). Most indie authors also use this model, publishing through draft2digital, Ingram Spark, direct through Amazon, whatever. I've never relied on the sales model and can't give you any advice on how to do this, but Tumblr is full of indie authors who probably can.

The sponsorship model involves soliciting small amounts of money from various readers over time. This is ideal for web serials, and it's what I use. I use Patreon, which is designed specifically for this purpose, but you can use other sites such as ko-fi. This model involves providing regular content for free, with bonuses for those who support you.

"Can't I do both? Sell books and have a Patreon?" You absolutely can! I know several indie authors with a Patreon. I sell my completed books as ebooks and will eventually sell them as paperbacks. But your time and attention is limited, and so is your audience's, and you're going to have to half-arse one of these in order to have enough arse to whole-arse the other. You're going to make a lo of decisions that benefit either the sponsorship model or the sales model, not both. So pick your primary income source early and commit.

I can only advise on writing web serials and using the sponsorship model, so I'll go ahead with that assumption. If you want to make a liveable wage doing this, not only will you need luck, you'll also need patience. This is not a fast way to build a career. at the end of my first year of doing this, I had one single patron, and they were a real-life friend of mine. When I reached an income of $100/month, I threw a little party for myself, I was so happy. It had taken such a long time and was so much work. I reached enough to cover rent/mortgage after I'd been doing this for more than four years. It's a long term sort of career.

Here are some general tips for succeeding in this industry, given by me, someone with no formal training in any of this who only vaguely knows what they're talking about:

Have a consistent update schedule and STICK TO IT

The #1 indicator for stable success in this industry (aside from luck, which we're discounting because you can't do much about that) is having a consistent update schedule. Your readers need to know when the next chapter is coming out, and it should be coming out regularly. Ideally, you should have no breaks or hiatuses -- if you're in a bus crash or something, that might be unavoidable, and your readers will understand if you tell them, but if you're stopping and starting a lot for trivial reasons, they WILL abandon you. You can't get away with that shit if you're not Andrew Hussie, and I'm pretty sure Andrew Hussie doesn't message me for career advice on Tumblr. If you find you need a lot of hiatuses to write fast enough then you're updating too often; change your schedule. A regular schedule is more important than a fast one (ideally it should be both, but if you have to pick between the two, pick regular).

2. Pay attention to your readership, listen to what they want from you

Your income is based on a pretty complicated support structure when you're using the sponsorship model. this model relies on people finding your story, liking your story, and continuing to find it valuable enough to keep paying you month after month. This means that your rewards for your sponsors should be things that they value and will continue to pay for ('knowing I'm supporting an artist whose work I enjoy' counts as a thing that they value, to my great surprise; there's a lot of people giving me money just for the sake of giving me money, so I can pay my mortgage and keep writing for them without needing a second job), but it also means supporting the entire network that attracts readers and keeps them having the best time they can with your story -- being part of a rewarding community. Because this is advice on making money, I'm going to roughly divide your readership into groups based on how they affect your bottom line:

sponsors. People giving you money directly. The importance of keeping this group happy should be obvious.

administration and community helpers -- discord moderators, IT people, guys who set up fan wikis, whoever's handling your mailing list if you have a mailing list. You can do this stuff yourself, or you can hire someone to do it, but if you're incredibly lucky and people enjoy being a part of your reader community, people will sometimes volunteer to do the work for free. If you are lucky enough to get such people, respect them. They are doing you a massive favour, and they're not doing it for you, but to maintain a place that they value, and you have to respect both of those things. My discord has just shy of 1,300 members and is moderated by volunteers. I'd peel my own face off if I had to moderate a community that large. If you've got people stepping up to do work for you, you need to respect them and you need to make sure that they continue to find that rewarding by doing what you can to make sure that the community they're maintaining is rewarding. Sometimes this means taking actions and sometimes this means staying the fuck out of the way. Depending on the circumstances.

fan artists. Once you have people drawing your characters, writing fanfic of your stories, whatever, treat these like fucking gold. Give them a space to do this, and more importantly, give them a space to do this without you in it. Fanworks are a symptom of engagement with your work, which is massively important. They are also a component of a healthy community, an avenue for readers to talk to each other and express themselves creatively to each other. Third, fanworks act as a bridge for new readers. When readers share their art on, say, Tumblr, it can intrigue new people and get them into the story. Your job in all of this is to give them the space to work, encourage them as required or invited (I reblog most TTOU fanart that I'm tagged in on Tumblr, for instance), and other than that, stay the fuck out of their way. These people are vital to the liveblood of your community, the continued engagement of your audience, and the interest of your sponsors. Some of the fan artists will be sponsors themselves; some won't be. Those who aren't sponsors are still massively valuable for their art.

speculators, conversers, theorists, livebloggers, and That Guy Who's Just Really Jazzed For The Next Chapter. Some people don't make art but just like to chat about your story. These people are a bedrock of the community that's supporting your sponsors and increasing your readership, and therefore are critical to your income stream. Give them a place to talk. Be nice to them when they talk to you. Sometimes, they'll ask you questions about the story, which you can choose to answer or not, however you feel is appropriate. They'll also want to chat about non-story-related stuff with each other, so make sure they have a place to do that, too.

that guy who never talks to you or comments on anything but linked your story to ten guys in his office who all read it now. Some of your supporters are completely invisible to you. You can't do anything for these people except continue to release the story and have a forum they can silently lurk on if they want to. But, y'know, they exist.

If you want to focus on income then these are, roughly, the groups of people that you will need to listen to and accommodate for. You can generally just make sure they have space to do their thing, and if they want anything else, they'll tell you (yes, guys, paperbacks will be coming eventually). Many people will fit into multiple groups -- I have some sponsors that are in every single one of these groups except the last. Some will only be in one group. A healthy income rests on a healthy community which rests on accommodating these needs.

3. If you can manage it, try to make your story good.

It's also helpful for your story to be good. Economically, this is far less important than you'd think -- there are some people out there writing utter garbage and making a living doing it. Garbage by what standards? By whatever your standards are. Just think of the absolute laziest, emptiest, hackiest waste-of-bandwidth story you can imagine -- some guy is half-arsing that exact story and making three times what you'll ever make on Patreon doing it. And honestly? Good for him. If he's making that much then his readers are enjoying it, and that's what matters. Still, one critical component of making money as a writer is writing something that people actually want to read. And you can't trick them with web serials, because they don't pay in advance -- if they're bored, they'll just stop. So you have to make it worth their time, money and attention, and the simplest way to do that is to write a good story.

This hardly seems mentioning, since you were presumably planning to do that anyway. It's basic respect for your audience to give them something worth their time. Besides, if we're not interested in improving our craft and striving for our best, what are we even writing for? I'm sure I don't need to tell you to try to write a good story. The reason I list this is in fact the opposite -- don't let "I'm not a good enough writer" paralyse you. The world is full of someday-writers who endlessly fuss over and revise a single story because it's not good enough, it's not perfect, they're not Terry Pratchett yet. Neither was Terry Pratchett when his first books were published. If you're waiting to be good enough, you won't start. I didn't think Curse Words was good enough when I started releasing it -- I still don't. I started putting it out because I knew it was the only way I'd get myself to actually finish something. I don't think it's all that great, but you know what? An awful lot of people read it and really enjoyed it. And if I hadn't released it, I'd have been doing those people a disservice.

Also, it taught me a lot, and based on what I learned, Time to Orbit: Unknown is much better. If I'd never released Curse Words, if I hadn't seen how people read it and reacted to it and seen what worked and what didn't, then Time to Orbit: Unknown wouldn't be very good. And it certainly wouldn't be making me a living wage, because it was the years writing Curse Words that started building the momentum I have today.

And Time to Orbit: Unknown as it is today has some serious problems. Problems that I'm learning from. And the next book will be a lot better.

So that's basically my advice for making money in this industry. Be patient, be lucky, be consistent. Value your community; it's your lifeline, even the parts of it that don't directly pay you. And try to make your story as good as you can, but make that an activity you do, not a barrier to prevent you from starting.

Good luck.

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greatooglymooglyyy · 18 days

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The Last Ride Chapter 8 (AU Cowboy!C.Sturniolo)

summary: when spoiled and sheltered city girl Y/N finds herself in running in the wrong crowd, her dad gives her an ultimatum. it's either spend the summer of her gap year on her uncle's ranch or face being cut off and finding a job. just when she thinks it can't get any worse, she meets Chris, the brooding farmhand who thinks he knows her type. but as the summer goes on, they both realize there may be more to the other than meets the eye.

requested and advised by @rootbeerworshiper

contains: verbal arguments, physical altercation, kissing, lots of emotions and insecurity, 3.9k words

a/n: sigh. i'm warning you... be nice to me or chapter nine gets it!! 🔪

series masterlist

“Whoa, girl.” I say gently as I tighten my thighs around Cinnamon’s body and tug gently on her reins. She comes to a stop with no issue and I rub her neck affectionately.

One of the trainers jogs up to her side and puts a cautious hand on her body to which she tenses up but doesn’t react negatively. We’ve been working on getting her more comfortable with other handlers and my girl has been making so much progress. But, it’s a slow process and I know she still gets nervous with faces she doesn’t trust.

I slide out of her saddle so the boy can take my place and step out of her line of vision. Almost immediately, Cinnamon starts to panic and my heart aches. I know I’m supposed to let them build the bond on their own but I can’t stop myself from comforting her.

“This is my friend Max, Cinnamon.” I coo as I step back in front of her and nuzzle her nose. “He’s just going to take a ride, okay?”

From across the field, I catch Chris throwing me a disapproving glare but he doesn’t say a word. Unsurprising since he hasn’t uttered more than a few my way for the last two weeks. But annoying nevertheless.

Ignoring him, I walk along beside them until I’m sure she doesn’t need me anymore and then step aside and watch them ride.

It feels nice to see her progress in action and my lips pull up in a small smile at the thought of her beating her monster allegations. If Cinnamon can fix her reputation, there’s hope for me yet. A tap on my shoulder pulls me out of my thoughts and I look back to see one of the younger stableboys.

“Chris said to tell you to help Mr. Buck shear the sheep.” He chirps, nervously biting his nails while he talks as if he expects me to bite his head off.

Irritation does rise in my chest, but not at the poor stable boy. “Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”

The boy gives me a relieved smile but it morphs into a look of panic when he sees me marching toward Chris instead of the truck. I ignore his calls behind me, locking my focus on the pigheaded brunette in my scope.

“So we’ve moved past you mumbling orders at me and now you’re just sending messenger boys instead?”

He looks up slowly from where he’s crouched down fixing the enclosure fence and tosses me an uninterested glance. “Do you need somethin’ or you just bored again?”

I roll my eyes at the jab and continue on, determined to get my rant out. “How long are you going to ignore me, Chris? This is getting beyond childish.”

Standing with a sigh and taking a look around, he gestures at all the workers watching us. “Nothing round here’s childish except this scene you’re putting on. Come on.”

He leads the way to the stables, moving so quickly I basically have to run to keep up. As soon as we’re inside, he slams the door shut and glares at me. I glare back, refusing to back down and give him a ‘go ahead’ gesture.

“I’m not ignoring you.” He says calmly, crossing his arms and leaning against the door. “I have nothing to say to you.”

My eyebrows knit together as I step back and study his face, wondering if he’s bluffing or not. “Really? Because you had a lot of words for me at the fair. Now it’s radio silence and you didn’t even let me explain-”

“I don’t need you to explain. You don’t owe me a thing. And neither do I. There is nothin’ else to say because there’s nothin’ between us anymore.”

“So that’s it? After all that? We just go back to being strangers?” The disbelief in my voice is heavy but I feel a wall between us forming higher and higher.

There's a split second of hesitation but Chris shrugs, averting his eyes. “I dunno, Scotch. Maybe we always were.”

Wow. I nod quickly and turn away from him to compose myself, trying not to allow any hurt to show on my face. Behind me, I hear him exit quietly and it settles in that maybe he’s right. It’s not like I belong here anyway. This was always a temporary game. I just can’t believe it felt so real.

***********************

Like most Saturdays here, I wake up to the early morning sun beaming through my window and the smell of breakfast cooking. It’s crazy how different waking up here feels compared to when I first got here.

I used to spend my days here counting down until I could leave this humid ass state and hardly ever think about it again. But now? Lying here and listening to the calm quiet sounds of the country with my aunt’s quiet singing as the only disturbance? Somehow the idea of leaving makes me feel sick.

But it doesn’t matter. I try to remind myself that this life isn’t mine- no matter how safe it feels. And as for my Birdie, it’s not like I can never visit again. Right?

I shake it off and get up to get ready, taking a quick shower before heading into the kitchen. As soon as she sees me, my aunt grows a huge suspicious smile on her face and I raise my eyebrow. “Good morning?”

“Good morning, bunny! How’d you sleep? I made your favorite. Take a seat. Honestly, honey, I’ve been up since before the roosters in this kitchen-” She rambles on and on as I slide into my seat, continuing to stare at her with a bewildered expression.

I look around for my uncle, finally noticing he’s nowhere to be seen. But before I can ask, Birdie sits across from me and takes my hand. “Your uncle has a surprise for you, darlin’. A damn good one.”

As if on cue, I hear my uncle’s truck pull into the driveway, always recognizable by the loud rumbling and occasional backfiring. My aunt squeals in excitement and scrambles over to the door so I follow behind her, laughing lightly.

“This better not be another Duck Dynasty merch find. I told you I’ve never even seen that show-” I cut myself off as the door swings open and I lock eyes with my dad.

It feels for a second like time freezes as I take him in. His weary smile. The bags under his eyes from what must have been months of little sleep. His outfit being as casual as I’ve ever seen him; not a tie or a designer in sight.

“Hi, honey.” He says softly, his voice taking on the soothing tone of my childhood. The one he’d use when I was sick or hurt. When I needed him. And just like that it’s like a dam breaking as my anger crumbles and I throw myself into his arms.

“Dad.” is the only thing I manage to say into his chest as he rocks us back and forth, holding the back of my head like he did when I was young. But he seems to understand anyway, pulling back and smiling at me.

“I missed you too, kiddo.”

My uncle, the big softie, sniffles and we both cut our eyes to him. “ See now, that right there is just plumb beautiful.” He wails, leaning into Birdie who rolls her eyes in good humor. I laugh at his dramatics until someone clearing their throat grabs my attention and I look out to the porch.

“Can we get a little love next?”

Jace stands with a smug look on his face and his arms wide, my other two ‘best friends’ Brielle and Lydia standing awkwardly behind him. My eyes widen as I look between my dad and the boy I thought was the love of my life. What. The. Fuck.

“Surprise!” My dad says with genuine enthusiasm. “You’ve been doing so well, I thought you deserved to see your crew. How excited are you?”

I swallow hard, tearing my eyes away from Jace before I pass out. “Yeah, Dad. Ecstatic.”

***********************

The thing about Jace is he’s never known how to sit in silence. He’s spent our entire lives being the one who fills it while I hang on to every single word. It used to be one of my favorite things about him. But now as we walk quietly past the lake, his body fidgeting with discomfort at the silence, I’m not so sure.

Sighing, I take pity on him and finally speak. “So...you said you wanted to talk?”

“I do.” The relief in his voice is palpable and he stops me from walking with a hand on my arm before he continues. “Since you’ve been gone, I’ve done so much thinking about that night. And I’ve realized I really fucked up. Worse than that time I stole my dad’s Porsche. And you remember how bad that was.” He laughs but I don’t join, staring at him and waiting for the point.

He clears his throat. “Anyway, I should have never done drugs that night. And I shouldn’t have let the girls leave you. That was wrong. And it won’t happen again.”

My eyes narrow at his roundabout accountability but I let it go, knowing it's as close to an apology as I will ever get. “You’ve said that before.”

“But I mean it now. I flushed all my blow after that night. It was really messing with my sinuses anyway.” He sees the look on my face and quickly adds, “But obviously, it was mostly for you.”

I sigh and shake my head. “It’s fine, Jace. I’m not holding grudges anymore. We’re cool.”

And I’m surprised at how much I mean it. After all the work I’ve done this summer, holding on to all this anger has been the most exhausting part of it.

Jace brings a hand up to my face and it takes a conscious effort not to flinch away from him. “I don’t want us to just be cool. I want you to know how much I care about you.”

I give him a stern look and pull away. “We can’t start this again. I don’t want to be anyone’s secret.”

“Who said anything about a secret? I’m done with that. I mean, it’s not like everyone didn’t know we were fucking anyway.”

“Jace.”

“Sorry. I just mean, we might as well make it official. Everyone knows it was always going to be me and you.”

I try to keep my heart still at his words, but despite everything he’s done, there’s still a weak spot. When I study his face, I see our entire history. All the years I spent longing for him to touch me, all the nights I spent trying to figure him out once he did. My past and his are so interlocked, I can’t untangle them. The problem is I don’t know if I want our futures to be as well.

Plus, there’s Chris to think about...or is there? His words from the stable play in my head on repeat. According to him, there is no us for me to think about. If that’s really how he feels about me, then it’s time I try to get over it.

Realizing how long I’ve been zoned out of the conversation, I refocus on Jace, bringing a hand up to his perfectly tousled hair. “Okay. Let’s try.”

He grins before pressing his lips to mine and I lean into it, wrapping my arms around his neck. It’s a familiar feeling, this boy pressed close against me. Once I’d even have described it as home. But as he deepens the kiss so close to where a boy once taught me to fish, the only thing echoing in my head is “Well. at least this one wants me.”

***********************

“Bunny, would you stop fussin’? It looks fine.” My aunt Birdie explains. She’s been watching me string lights up for the past fifteen minutes and no matter what, according to her it looks ‘fine’.

Apparently, everyone had been waiting eagerly for my dad’s return because it seems like the entire town is here tonight for his ‘welcome home’ party. People are piling in left and right, quicker than we can even finish with the prep.

One thing about me is, if I’m going to throw a party it’s going to be one people don’t stop talking about. And that begins with something as simple as the setup. I wish I had known about it sooner.

“I just think we need a few more over there,” I reply, motioning over to a fence that’s left completely blank.

She thinks for a moment, knowing it’s useless to argue with me. “There might be a few more lights in the shed, should be with all the Christmas stuff.”

I smile, immediately turning to head over to the shed that resides on the side of the house. The walk is short, but by the time I make it there, I'm met with a familiar figure on the other side.

His gaze sends chills down my spine, for whatever reason I haven't gotten used to the mean stares. Maybe it’s because I know what his softness looks like, and now it’s gone.

I go to open the wooden shed door before looking at Chris once more. “What’s your problem, Chris?”

He chuckles under his breath as if my reaction was completely unwarranted. If this was the first time he sent his nasty looks at me, maybe it would be unwarranted, but now I’m sick of his shit.

“Just wondering what’s got you all happy.” He replies, leaning against the side fence with his hands crossed with one another.

No matter what, he always seems to believe he has the upper ground. His body language makes that more than apparent.

“I can’t just like parties?” I reply, more sheepishly than I meant to lead on. It’s stupid that I'm still defending myself against him, especially when I know a few weeks ago he liked me for all of me, now it’s as if I'm entertainment for him.

“So Prince Charming didn’t put that smile on your face? I heard he graced our poor humble digs.” He remarks with a tone dipping of sarcasm, simply earning a glare from me as I head into the shed.

When I step back out, he’s gone and it feels like the party has doubled. Looking around the yard at the crowds of people gathered, I can’t believe my aunt and uncle managed to keep this all a secret.

After finishing my final touches, I spot my dad and decide to stand with him and welcome guests for a bit, relishing how good it feels to spend time with him again.

He can’t walk more than a couple of feet without being stopped by a classmate or an old teacher so I fall back and let him enjoy catching up. It feels good to see him so relaxed here, blending in like he never left. I almost swear I catch his accent creeping back in before I walk away.

I’m surprised with how many people I recognize as well, waving to Abby and a few of Chris’ friends. Hank hugs me before spotting my dad and hustling over to him. I should have guessed they were friends.

Looking around for my city friends, I spot Brielle laughing in a corner with Jason and my eyebrows shoot up to the sky. Okay so new type for her then. I make a mental note to pry later. Continuing my search, I spot Lydia and Jace looking pretty bored and honestly a little scared so I make my way over.

But on my way, I hear my name being called from a high-pitched familiar voice and spin around. Evie runs as quick as her little feet can take her and wraps a hug around my legs. Laughing, I squat down and give her a proper hug, pushing her wild bangs out of her face. “Hi, sweetie.”

“I haven’t seen you in this long!” She says with adorably wide eyes, stretching her arms out in a big gesture and making my heart sink.

“I know. We’ve been busy, huh? I heard you learned to write your whole name.” I say, recalling the brag Chris shared over one of the last lunches we spent together.

She grins and nods excitedly. “I can! Do you have paper?”

A hand lands on her shoulder and we both look up to see Chris hovering above us. “I think she’s good, Evie.” He gives me a brief smile but his eyes are still cold and emotionless so I stand wordlessly.

“But-” She starts to complain but catches sight of Birdie at the chocolate fountain and her jaw drops. Before either of us can say another word, she takes off again in my aunt’s direction.

Chris kisses his teeth but we both can’t help but laugh. “Thank god these are good people, or I’d have to put her ass on a leash.” He says but he’s watching her hug Birdie with his usual loving gaze.

He notices me staring and raises an eyebrow, shooting me his cautious smile. “What’re you gawking at?”

“Honestly?” I ask, looking over his outfit with exaggerated horror. “Those damn jeans of yours. Put them out of their misery, I’m begging you.”

He chuckles, his eyes twinkling with humor. “Oh, so we’re back to the clothing roasts, huh?”

“See, I personally never left. It haunts me.”

“Yeah, okay, Ms. Socks and Sandals.” He says looking down at my feet pointedly.

I laugh and push his shoulder. “Shut up. My boots didn’t go with this fit. I’m limited here.”

“We’ll have to get you some more.” He says almost on a reflex before he seems to realize and flinches. But his reply is cut off when Jace swings an arm around my neck.

Immediately, it’s like a cloud comes over Chris’ face, hurt warping his features before he puts up a mask. At the same time, I freeze but do my best to recover. “Oh..uh..Hey Jace.”

He smiles at me and leans in, pressing a long kiss to my lips to my absolute horror, before turning to Chris and extending his hand. “What’s up, man? You must be the caterer. The food was great.”

Oh god. Chris’ eyes narrow but he slowly shakes Jace’s hand anyway without a word so I step in. “Actually, he works with my uncle. He’s been sort of a mentor this summer.”

Chris laughs humorlessly but if Jace catches on he doesn’t acknowledge it. “Oh, great. The food actually really sucks. Greasy as hell.” He laughs, sounding even more arrogant than normal.

I lock eyes with Chris, both of us knowing full well that Birdie spent the entire day cooking. He nods, gesturing coolly between the two of us. “I gotta say. You two? Perfect for each other.”

He turns and walks away as Jace throws an unsuspecting “thank you” at his back. But I stay frozen against my boyfriend’s side knowing it was anything but a compliment.

***********************

A couple of hours later, the party is still in full swing. People are doing line dances, tripping over their own feet due to the well-stocked bar. Someone has started a fire in the pit and the kids are enjoying their s’more while their parents catch up.

I lean against my chair, taking in the community, as Lydia whines to the left of me about being cold. Jace takes off his coat and throws it over her and I frown for a second before my dad catches my eye by the snack table.

“Do you guys want anything?” I ask as I stand, needing more than anything to speak to someone who might get how I’m feeling. They shake their heads so I mumble that I’ll be right back.

When I get to my dad’s side, he smiles warmly before grabbing a couple of my favorite pinrolls and handing them to me. Maybe he knows me better than I think. I return the smile and take the plate, whispering my thanks.

As he’s about to walk away, I stop him and he looks back in confusion. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” He says, crossing his arms and leaning in to hear me better.

“How did you get this place out of your system when you left? How’d you move on?” As I ask, I glance around the ranch before looking up at the sky, mesmerized by the glow of the stars I’d never be able to see in the city.

His eyes soften as understanding floods his features. “What makes you think I was ever able to do that?”

I blink slowly at him, not understanding. “The city. You made a whole life there. We never come here to visit.”

“Because it’s hard.” He explains, looking past me to where his old friends laugh and talk amongst themselves. “You can’t hide here. Not when they know everything about you. But, this place is in my blood, in my heart. That’s the real reason I wanted you to come here. I was hoping it would somehow creep into yours.”

The smile that crosses his face is sad but I return it with a nod before turning and making my way back to my table. But to my surprise, Jace isn’t there. Lydia has fallen asleep with his jacket draped over her so I don’t bother waking her.

Wandering around to find him, I move closer to the house until I hear his voice coming from the side of it. Plastering a smile on my face, I walk toward it until his words make me halt.

“-I know she must have been useless with all that bullshit.”

My face scrunches up but I stay hidden when I realize the person he’s talking to must be Chris, recognizing his heavy sigh before his reply.

“I wouldn’t call her useless in no kinda way. But sure, man.”

I peer around the corner and get a glimpse of Chris’ face, his telltale flush of irritation fixed to his features. I debate coming around the corner since I don’t want to be caught snooping but something tells me to stay put.

“Either way. Thanks for looking out for my girl.”

I don’t miss the emphasis Jace puts on the 'my' and roll my eyes at the sudden possessiveness. Especially when a few months ago, I couldn’t even touch him in public.

“Uh-huh. Just...” Chris seems to hesitate, bringing a hand to the back of his neck and sighing. “Just deserve her, alright?”

My heart thuds against my chest but I don’t have long to process before Jace laughs riotously like that’s the best joke he’s ever heard. He places a hand on Chris’ shoulder and leans in.

“Come on, man. Have you met her? I’ve been on planes with less baggage than that bitch. It’s not like I’m going to marry her.” Jace is still laughing as he says it, his tone so matter-of-fact that I almost don’t realize what he just said.

That is until I see the expression on Chris’ face, the blankest I’ve ever seen him look. “Fuck.” He mutters as if being extremely inconvenienced before he takes a step back and throws a punch so quick I can’t even tell where it lands.

The party goes silent in an instant, the only noise coming from Jace’s body crumbling to the ground.

Oh. Shit.

🏷️/ @sttzee @tillies33ssss @miloisdone1 @sstvrnioloo @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @mrsmiagreer @asturniolos @teapartyprincess4two @whicked-hazlatwhore @sukiipjs @fratbrochrisgf @sturniolosmind @imfromthediningtable @st4rswrld @thvvluvr @sturnssmuts @littlenerdybee @sturniolossss @iloveneilperry @eclipzw @chrissloverrrrrrr16 @sstvrnioloo @clemlament @maryx2xx @fwskullz @luv4kozume @breeloveschris @xoxo4chrisss @ribread03 @sturnrc @h3arts4harry @chrissystur @pepsiboyy @wcnderwqll @watercolorskyy @sturnsmia @fake-sturniolos

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tigertale · 7 months

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A/N: Fantasy AU ahead, like, those fantastic middle aged themed worlds with magic, bards n' all? Anyway, I'm such a messy writer I'm sorry

A/N2: I wrote this before chapter 7 and finished the smut recently, although the end is messy :(

• F!Reader; Malleus

•〔　！〕 Smut; Virgin Malleus/Reader; Creampie; Grammatical errors; Not proofread

•6.8k words

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Lilia's words only made the man by his side groan. They were both beings of the night. Period. No need to explain just how uncomfortable he was. No matter how mesmerizing the colorful flowers aligned by each windowsill looked, nor how the sun brightened the streets and further empathized each of the bystanders' smiles, he couldn't stand them. They were everything that he wasn't, the exact opposite of what he had known and experienced his entire life, of what he needed the most; a new beginning, joyful laughters and an undying happiness paired with the feeling of fullness.

"The longer I stay here, the more repulsive they become." The soldier sighed at his words and disapprovingly shook his head from side to side, although it looked more like he was annoyed by the prince than anything else. But the dragon couldn't see it as he tried to avoid the petals flying around while spitting the one that had already gotten into his mouth. He wasn't one to curse, but the heavy sweet smell of the pollen filled street tickling his nose threatened him to do so.

"Malleus, we came here to observe the tradition of humans. Having a new outlook on life can only benefit you." The fae said as he stopped next to a merchant who handed two ice-cream cones after he had given them 2 silver coins. The dragon was soon to become the next king of Briar Valley and all Faes as whole. But with the secluded life he had had to live through, Lilia could only wonder if so few experiences in life could properly let him have a peaceful reign. "You need to see more whilst you're still young." He then handed one of the ice-cream cones to the prince who reluctantly took it.

"I do not see how prying into the mortals' life and customs will help my impending rule." This once again made his caretaker sigh as he shook his head from side to side. This would prove to be more difficult than what he expected if he didn't soon find anything that could possibly catch the attention of the boy. A surprised huff was taken out of him as he was suddenly stopped by a kid who collided with him.

The man merely smiled as he pushed all of his hair, some locks dyed in a blood red, onto one of his shoulders and knelt down. He reminded him of the young child he had taken under his care not long ago — he had actually taken him when he was a newborn, and he was already around six, which wasn't exactly a "long time ago", and with a deep chuckle, he took the child from under his armpits and set him on his feet before dusting him off. While the kid was still confused, he continued to make sure that he wasn't hurt by the fall, his father like instincts pushing him to do so —although he didn't mind as he still kept a smile up as to not scare the child. "Where were you running at so fast? It's dangerous to run around in a crowd." The kid nodded but was clearly excited and impatient as he was fidgeting more than one his age was supposed to.

"It'll start soon!" He rocked on the back of his feet as he was trying not to peek above the man's shoulders to see if the oh so expected event of the year had started. "The Battle of the Spring Queen!"

Lilia perked up at that. He let the kid go without further questions, only giving a playful "be careful" and his ice cream in exchange of the promise that he shouldn't run in the streets anymore or at least be more attentive, before getting up and dusting his clothes off.

"I thought humans were pacifists as of today. Why would Queens fight?" The fae laughed at that under the annoyed gaze of his younger fellow. Oh, he sure had missed a lot, hidden in this castle of his! Maybe that he should ask Maleficia for permission to take Malleus out more often. He eventually calmed down as he removed the tears threatening to fall from the sudden laughter that took over him.

"Of course it's no battle per say." He hummed as Malleus was patiently waiting for the rest of the answer while passing his tongue over the cool dessert. It wasn't often that he received ice cream, and one from Lilia was cherished even more, so he tried not to eat it in one go out of excitement. "Each year for spring, they hold a dance contest of sorts, where the winner becomes the Spring Queen for a year."

"Just dancing?" Humans were fighting by dancing now? They were more peculiar than he had given them credit for.

"Of course I said dancing, but it's not something that simple." When they arrived at the town center, Lilia easily pushed through the crowd with his small size to reach the front as the prince struggled to follow him. At Lilia's request, he had hidden his horns to avoid a mayhem among these mortals, but right now he wished he hadn't because the annoyed looks he received were slowly boiling his blood with how much they annoyed him. "I've heard that it can take years to perfect it. And— Ah! Just on time!"

The dragon fae eventually arrived beside his caretaker and looked unimpressed at the rows of women standing in the middle of the town center. They had all formed many circles, the smallest inside and the others extending to be bigger the farther it was from the center, around a maypole and all had a ribbon in their hand. The white dresses they all wore nearly made him cringe, it was all too bright and the sun rays bouncing back on them and into his eyes tenfold this sentiment. Even the crown of flower resting on their head and the embroidered fabric attached to it and hiding their face from the onlookers was almost too much. Should he just go back? But then Lilia would be disappointed in him and he feared the distress it would bring him more than anything.

A voice loudly announced from within the public the start of the competition and the musicians started playing a folk tune right after, hurdy-gurdy, tabors and flutes becoming one. Lilia pushed the tip of his elbow against Malleus' arm to catch his attention at the same time. "That's what we came to see." The women all lifted their hands up, wrists decorated with a mix of flowers that the dragon had a hard time trying to recognise, before slowly turning on themselves with the soft and sluggish tempo of the melody. "This is one of the few traditions humans inherited from us."

Slowly picking up speed, they followed suit. They each took a step to the side as they continued to turn on themselves. Each row was rotating to different sides which created an eye-catching show as the fabrics all flew around the more the rhythm grew to be frenetic.

The pace of the song eventually arrived to the point where it was hard catching up to it, and soon enough someone fell. She looked rather frail as her face was finally unveiled from when her flower crown had flown away. Stumbling, falling on one another they all smiled, their no longer hidden bright eyes only making the public even more excited. The orchestra suddenly stopped, and so did the women. But it picked up just as fast and they all spinned to the other side with linked arms. "Oh this is the moment. I forgot to ask, Malleus, do you want to join them?"

He looked at him incredulously as more women fell to the point that the remaining upright had to jump over the bodies to continue. But he didn't get to answer as he was pushed forward, more men following behind him. Lilia was surprised by the sudden rush and merely managed to take Malleus' ice cream as he was soon too far for him to hear him. He didn't expect something like this to happen, hopefully he'll manage his way out of this predicament he had accidentally found his way in. Or he could partake in it which would please him more than the other option.

The dragon looked back to his caretaker, but before he could react, someone had taken him by the crook of his arm and twirled with him closer to the center of the dance which only further widened the distance between them. He couldn't back out now, he was surrounded by the town folks, dizzy and the dance had also become more complex and he knew he would bump into someone if he decided to walk out of the dance.

One moment they were linked to one another, the next his partner had left him as a new one jumped into his arm now hopping and spinning with him. And just as fast, she left him and he was once again handed over to someone else.

He didn't like it, being passed around like, what he could compare as, a mere toy. Swirling on the same spot with little to no rest as he felt the ice cream he had eaten slowly climbing its way up his throat. He couldn't see it from how blurry and loud everything was, but there were only a few people left standing, enough duo that he could count them with only a hand. He was strong on his feet, due to his fae nature, unlike all the others who would fall from the sheer speed their new partners came at them with. He was the center of the attention, everyone watching carefully how this stranger had imposed himself as the one anchor needed for the winner.

He broke out of his haze for a mere second as he had finally locked eyes with Lilia who still had his dessert in hand. But he could only make out a few words from his stretched lips "It feels like we'll have a surprise this year. Aren't you lucky fufufu~" before his new partner brought him back to the current situation at hand. Much to his surprise, unlike all the others that had a deathly and uncaring grip on his shoulder and arm, she turned out to be more conscious about his uneasiness.

It didn't stop her from forcing him into the dance, continuing to twirl with him, but when her veil lifted with the wind sweeping it away from her face, he could make out an apologetic smile. "Sorry for forcing you into this." She said more to herself than for him, knowing that he wouldn't have heard it as her voice was drowned out by the music, but he did, thanks to his keen ears. The music came to a sudden stop right after. And she used this chance to come closer to him, pushing her chest against his as she tiptoed so her lips could reach him right under the shell of his ear. The closeness didn't faze him enough not to notice that there were only two pairs left. His and another couple staring daggers at him. "This one will be the last part, please keep up with me a little longer."

And seemingly entranced by whatever power she had bewitched him with, he listened, immediately following her when the music started again. As if his body had learnt the dance, definitely against his will, he easily matched her movements. Unlike before when he was just being pushed around, he was now the one gripping her hand hard enough not to hurt her but to make sure she didn't fall or lose balance, and he made sure to turn at the same time with her.

She was concentrated, not noticing the sudden change of demeanor of her partner, as she looked at her feet to make sure that she got it right. If she was to fall now, it would be all over. She had worked hard to come this far and she wouldn't let victory slip through her fingers so easily. And at long last, the same booming voice that announced the beginning of the contest ringed far above the music. This time, marking the end of it.

The two standing slowly came to a stop, regaining both of their senses as they mindlessly looked at their feet. It was… the end. It came faster than what they had expected. Or was it because they had lost themselves in the heat of the competition? When they remembered the situation they were in they looked around for the duo they were competing against. And here they were, bickering on the ground, too caught up in their anger and accusations to get back on their feet.

Malleus turned back to his own partner when he heard her laughing. She took the flower crown and removed it from her head, shaking her head to put her hair back in place, before looking up at him. Oh. She was…

He couldn't even finish his thoughts that someone came and took her hand, throwing it up as they announced her as the new queen. Clapping and shouting became louder the closer the public approached him and the woman was still gripping his hand, but it only brought back the previous headache racking the back of his head.

Thankfully for him, he was whisked away by the very person who put him in this predicament in the first place. He didn't even bother to hide his pout as Lilia wore a bright smile, taking him farther away from the public's eyes. "Did you enjoy it?" And Malleus could barely believe his words. If he had enjoyed it? Did he look like he had enjoyed it at all?

Once they were far enough, he had begrudgingly walked to a driveway where he could hide as he was vexed by Lilia's question. "I want to go back." And Lilia sighed at the tone his prince had taken. He had hoped for him to become a little more aware about his duties as a prince, but it seemed like it didn't work his way this time. Thus, while a hand was pushed against his hips, he snapped his fingers, bringing them both to the inn they were staying at.

"Malleus." The soldier started as he circled the bed to sit on the cushions decorating the windowsill. Although he wanted to sit on it, he ended up slumping onto them with yet another aggravated sigh. "You didn't learn anything from it, did you?"

As an answer, and seemingly vexed, said Malleus crossed his arms, still standing before the door as his own way to protest his displeasure with the entire situation. "I don't believe that there was something to understand from such an unpleasant event." The entire thing was reckless, ungrateful, and overall displeasing to him. The noise, the heat, the light, he would have never imagined someone liking such things if he hadn't witnessed it first hand.

"These people are under the care of faes. All of the previous rulers cared way beyond Briar Valley's borders." He moved his fingers, summoning a kettle brimming with hot water and the teacup by the bedside. With another fickle, the hot water was poured inside the cup where a used teabag was patiently waiting to be of use again. "And as the heir, it is your duty to understand what will fall under your charges. Their customs are different yet similar to ours, neglecting that can quite easily create a rift that will bring to a new war." He took a sip of his cup once it was ready, a small grimace appearing on his face at the bitter taste. He immediately brought a few more suspicious ingredients that he put into his cup.

"You have much more to learn about this world, and I hope that you will learn something before we leave."

At that, he disappeared, the slowly dying greenish sparks the only proof that he was here just a moment ago. And Malleus was confused to say the least. He understood his words, yet, he found them hard to decipher. He surely had learnt everything at the castle with the most proficient teachers of this age, he couldn't think of anything left to explore. What a mystery, he would have to work on it fast if he wanted to talk to Lilia again. His caretaker had always been one to teach through actions rather than words, and when Malleus was at fault and too stubborn to open himself, he had found out that leaving him to think about what he did wrong would work the best. Although what truly scared Malleus wasn't the scolding but the fact that Lilia just refused to talk to him as he was one of the very rare people he could feel at ease with.

And the only person he could turn to as of now was the mysterious Queen of the Spring.

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She was still by the town center thankfully. Although this time she was draped in a modest but fitting green dress, the only decoration were flowers that seemed to have been haphazardly thrown on her by who he could only suppose were the many men praising her beauty by her sides. Surely when he thought about meeting her again, he expected her to be praised as a Queen, but the crowd of men surrounding her, craving for her attention as marriage proposals were thrown here and there for her to take, was definitely not what he had in mind. And by the look on her face, a tight smile as she uneasily looked around for an escape, she wasn't enjoying the situation as much as him.

But by some miracle, as he was thinking that he should maybe go back to the inn as she was not in the position to help him, she locked eyes with him. Her pupils dilated and stars dancing in her eyes as she recognised him in an instant. She stood up, walking down and forcing her way through the people still waiting to have a good look at her, a few apologies thrown at those who she feared she could have hurt, and excitedly marched towards him.

"I– I've been looking everywhere for you!" She started right off the bat, her cheeks definitely hotter than they should be as she tried not to stare at him too much. Even if it wasn't her fault, he was pretty handsome to look at after all, especially compared to the folks here.

He hummed, not fazed one bit by the shy look she wore. "Is that so?" He merely said, not knowing how to react to the information she gave him. It was unexpected indeed, for her to look for him despite how irrelevant their meeting had been. (But could he really think that when he was the one that came to see her, thinking of her as his only anchor in this unfamiliar place?)

She buried her head in between her shoulders, fingers playing with each other as an attempt to calm the awkwardness she felt from his answer. "Of course, you're the reason I've won after all." And when he repeated her sentence with a curious but surprised tone, she could only try and add more context to what she had said. "You saw the one we were against at the end right? They're two nobles and like, their families have always worked with each other so they could win the title of the Spring Queen each year. And I kind of found it unfair so I tried to go up against them, and like, if it wasn't for you, and you're really strong by the way, I would have never won because most people here are too scared to go against them you know? And I am too, it's even surprising that I'm still standing here right now because I expected them to just come and snatch my head off because of my impertinence or whatever excuse they'd created but no! So like…"

If she was hot before, well her embarrassment had now reached a whole other level where she had became a furnace. Of all times she could have let her stupid habit of ranting take over, it had to be with the pretty man whom she had danced with. "I'm uuh… I'm sorry for rambling…" She had always been scolded by her family for it, even the kids that would hang around her had innocently commented negatively about it. And she was trying really hard to get rid of this habit, she could even swear on her pride if needed!

"It's okay, although I don't think that talking about such things out in the open is good for you." Ah he was right! What if those nobles were actually looking to take their revenge on her? But there was no place where she would be free of danger. These guys were everywhere and—

"Then you wouldn't mind coming to my house, right?" A humm left his mouth as an approval, more fascinated by the fact that she was continuously embarrassing herself yet was self-conscious about her own attitude.

She moved to the side, a meek "this way" leaving her lips as she led the way to her small abode. And her house, farther away from the town where everyone had gathered, was… Would comparing it to a pet home be offensive? Because compared to the castle back home, this was akin to comparing an ant to a dog. And when she opened the door, he was somehow even more surprised. The house seemed to have only two rooms. The kitchen, dining room and bedroom all welcomed him at once which made him assume that the door at the back led to what must be the smallest bathroom he could ever imagine.

Still, what truly was unexpected was how cozy it seemed. Unlike the walls made out of cobblestones back in the Fort he lived at, which only made the atmosphere colder than it was already, the various plants and colors around was a sheer contrast to what he was used to. And it bothered him.

As he sat down on the drawn out and only chair in the house, he mused at the different shades coloring the walls. "What are those?" She came next to him as he pointed at the paintings above her bed. She smiled softly at the question.

"Before I left, my family gifted me those." The colors were clashing and unsightly. And despite the fact that it was made by someone close to her, he couldn't find it in himself to somehow change his views. They were still childlike and clumsy at best. So he merely hummed, not caring about voicing his… not distaste, but he definitely didn't have the best opinion on those. "Anyways, do you want some tea?"

She moved to the counter by the sink, pulling out a small wooden box from the mess decorating what would be considered the kitchen. "Actually I would much rather go for coffee." She stopped dead in her tracks. Coffee? People like her couldn't afford such things. She truly wondered who that man was.

Still, she slowly turned to him, an apologetic look on her face as an awkward smile hung on her lips. "I'm sorry I don't have coffee." She watched as he pondered a bit, fingers resting against his chin with closed eyes, before he looked back at her and told her tea was fine. She let out a quiet relieved sigh as she went back to the herbs sitting in the box before her, taking the most expensive flavour to give him before moving to heat some water on the stove.

His eyes were fixated on the intricate design decorating her back, the shape of a flower drawn with all the threads interwoven through one another and letting him see a star that seemed to be a birthmark in the middle of her spine. And his gaze slowly moved lower and lower, the need to be satiated growing the more he looked at the small parcel of skin showing between the bottom of her rather short dress and her white thigh high stockings. Why did he suddenly feel his body yearning for her? He didn't know and didn't want to. He was tempted, entranced, to move closer and pass a hand under the skirt of her dress. He wasn't used to seeing such loose and short clothing, having been mostly in company of nobles, they were posh and well-dressed with layer and layers of fabric hiding their skin. Even the soldier or the few villagers he had seen across Briar Valley were only covered from head to toe with little to no skin showing. Maybe that was why he was hypnotized by her, wondering for the very first time what was hiding under someone's clothes as his draconic instincts were teasing him into taking actions.

Malleus somehow managed to keep calm as she approached after a while, a cup of tea and some low-cost biscuits to eat with the soft drink. "Here, I don't know what you like so I made some Earl Grey tea." He smiled kindly, or at least tried to as only a small almost unseen smile appeared, before switching his attention back to the drink sitting before him to take his mind off the impulsions of his dragon side. Partaking into the carnal desire and losing the purity that was only meant to be given to his future wife? He knew better than that. And while he was debating with himself, she quickly ran to the counter in the kitchen and back to him. "Ah wait!" She bent forward, her short dress hiking up and flashing him a good amount of the small panties she wore, a cube of sugar hanging in between her fingers as she plopped it in the drink so soften it up.

Fuck, he actually didn't know better than that, because right before he could properly think, his hand had moved to cup one of her buttcheeks. She froze, and so did he, as an awkward silence stretched between them, one that seemingly wasn't registered by him as his fingers flexed around her flesh, earning a small and surprised squeak out of her. She turned back to look at him, the top of her body allowing her to turn enough for him to see her flushed cheeks as she peeked over her shoulder. "I-Is there a problem?" And she cringed at the question she asked. But he didn't care, nor did he answer back as he got up, towering her while his hands slid along her body, assessing each curve and bumps under his long fingers, before stopping under her breast.

She was pinned on the table, unable to get back up as the man was pressing his chest to her back, his hot breath tickling her neck as she felt the tip of his fingers tentatively pressing the fat of her chest. She didn't know how to react, should she push him back? She should, as she had yet to marry and had to keep herself away from any sexual activities that could "taint" her according to the religious man who had blessed her and the many other women of the village. She hadn't respected that rule as she had… already explored her own body a few times already. But partaking into something greater than merely playing with herself? While the fear of being accused of hysteria taunted her, she was still heavily tempted by this stranger's, more than vulgar, invitation.

And against her better judgment, she softly placed her hand atop his, slowly guiding it as her breath hitched when she felt his cold skin touching hers above the low-cut of her dress to the top of her larynx. His eyes dilated, pressing his hand around her throat at the same time, trying to assess all the small reactions she would have which further drove down this unknown feeling devouring him. He wasn't one to fight back his urge, far from it, he was more often than not indulging it which would always make Lilia shake his head out of disappointment. So without much thinking, he wrapped an arm around her waist, the other hand moving her head to the side for him to graze her skin with his pointy teeth, as he quickly brought her to the bed by the corner of the room. He fell on it ungraciously, her body now trapped in-between the bed and the erection he was rutting against her backside in near oblivion, each of his grunts feeling like honey soothing her mind.

His fingers started exploring her, tormenting and harassing every bit of skin showing, even tearing new holes in the pristine white dress she wore to access more of her. She felt herself drifting away when two of his sharp nails eventually found themselves back to one of her breasts, pinching it as he continued to press the hard-on still confined in his pants along her clothed slit. And as if to make things worse, he had finally started to nibble on the junction between her neck and shoulder, the lewd sound of his lips and tongue playing with her skin driving her further down this hole he had opened. What if she was fucked silly after all? She wouldn't mind if it was this handsome stranger whose lust was oozing and overwhelming her senses. But it seemed that after a short while he grew bored, instead moving away from her, just enough for him to turn her around so she could face him, settling by leaning above her as his hands rested above her ass.

She was now laying on her back, his body still towering her as he decided to press a delicate kiss on her lips, quite unexpected especially when one would consider how rough and impatient he had been until now, as if he had finally taken over the instincts that were pleading for him to drill into her hole and make her his for the night. And she reciprocated, moving her hands behind his head to grasp a handful of his hair and bring him closer. She wanted to feel him more closely, to have him imprint his lips on hers so that she could never forget him, who would surely defile her in a few moments. And hopefully, what a childish wish it was, he would understand her feelings and return the affection back. She didn't know who he was, not even his name which she had forgotten to ask, but she knew that this wise man eating her lips would be better than any of the men who were crying out to tie the knot with her. Because unlike them, he had proven how capable he could take care of her, how he was an immovable pillar when needed. And she only needed this. No fancy gifts from someone who she knew would cheat behind her back.

Whoever this man was, she craved him. He could do anything to her, she knew not why and didn't want to, and she would be on cloud nine as long as he would give her the slightest bit of attention.

But he didn't understand those hidden messages she tried to pass over to him through their languid kiss. Because when he felt her gripping the dark locks sitting around the base of his horns, he quickly lost himself back into those dangerous impulses of his. The dragon in him needed to put an heir or two inside her warm and welcoming womb before the feeling disappeared.

He broke the kiss, listening to the delightful panting leaving her mouth as his mouth traveled farther down along her collarbone. At the same time, his hands had moved from the small of her back to her legs parted on each of his sides, passing them under her bunched up dress and stopping once a finger had passed under the band of her underwear. And his hard-on, more prominent than ever, was once again grinding against her clothed slit, snatching loud whines out of her. Her breath momentarily hitched when she felt a hand leave her thigh, only to feel it scrambling with the belt stopping him from clearing his most urgent need. The occasional and unexpected knocking of a finger or two against her clit made her mewl, and urged him to move even more messily as it only annoyed him how much he was struggling with the leather tied around his waist.

At long last, he freed himself from the clothing confining him away from her. He hissed at the cold air that contrasted with the heat of his length which prompted her to look downward. But he immediately pressed his lips against hers, once again, which stopped her from seeing it, tongue entering her mouth and creating a mess of drool pooling on both of their chins, a strong hand moving to the back of her neck as he removed her undergarments. He did ponder a few seconds, should he let the stockings hugging her tights on? But he quickly shook this thought away, a deep groan rumbling all the way down from his throat as he ripped the fragile layer of clothing off her legs, leaving only a few stray of white fabric to cover her skin.

Her breath hitched when she felt him, surprised by the sheer size of his warm hard-on resting right in-between her legs. She was supposed to…? Not that she was a prude or anything, but she truly stopped a second to think if she was really ready to take something like this inside her. It was only normal for him to have a size proportional to his height but it definitely looked bigger than what she had heard from the women gossiping early in the morning at the corner of the marketplace. He didn't wait and immediately went to slowly rub his length along her still clothed cunt, earning small gasps and whines from her as she pitifully tried to hide them behind her hand. But he didn't care about them, not when he could feel the warmth she was producing, so heavy and impossibly addicting, which shrouded his mind more than it actually was.

He went back to what he was doing a moment ago, this time passing a finger on the underside of her panties as he pulled it to the side to allow the tip of his cock to press against between her walls, grinding and spreading out her cum along his length. Right when he stopped at her entrance, ready to plunge in, she weakly grasped each side of his face with moist hands which caught his attention. Breath heavy, eyes teary, and cheeks burning, she still took the time to ask one simple question that she had been dying to ask since she met him… "Y-Your name… What's your name?"

"Malleus."

And he slid inside her before she could say anything, pace hard and fast from the get go as he couldn't get a grasp of the insatiable need to fuck her. A loud gasp resonated in the room at the first thrust before a string of whines followed, she could hardly keep up with him, hanging on dear life by wrapping her arms around his shoulders as her fingers drew deep lacerations on his back. She didn't know what motivated him to be so harsh against her poor body, handling it so carelessly that she feared that she'd break, and they were only beginning.

But these actions didn't spurt out of nowhere. He had been hungry, unknowingly keeping it in the needs to mate as he had never been confronted to it directly, his caretaker having deemed that he had no need to indulge them so young —the Draconia family surprisingly didn't indulge much into sexual activities unless they were with their significant other, which lead them to believe he didn't have to learn about his impulses. Yet this woman he had found himself dancing with, acting so gently with him, unlike those who would do so out of fear or excessive admiration, had managed to grab his attention. And the dress they had given her to go with her new title as the Spring Queen, how small it was, hugging her body in a way that made him imagine just how she would look without it, how could it not fill him with inappropriate thoughts? How could it not tease the dragon inside him?

His fangs, elongated the more the seconds passed, the more his cock thrusted back inside her as he felt her walls closing around him, the more he heard her small whines, pressed against the skin of her neck tentatively as his mind was clear enough that he knew that he at least shouldn't mark her. It didn't stop him from teasing her, loving the way she would tense up whenever she felt his teeth pressing a little too hard on her skin.

With each thrusts, she felt herself breaking, her body reacting not only to the length racking her insides up, she could feel the telltale signs how her orgasm building up although she knew that it had yet to properly overcome her mind, but also the strangely long teeth against her neck and the sharp end of his nails playing with the tips of her breasts, the pain only further inviting her down the sin she was partaking in. Her voice rung inside the small house through the form of short and high pitched whines that aroused him the more he heard them.

With one unexpected motion, he turned her body over pressing her upper body down with one hand, fingers tightly clasped around her neck and playing with her breath. Her breath staggered, definitely taken aback by the sudden change of position, and she almost gagged when he went back inside her, fucking seemingly harder than before. Her senses tingled, blurring out any clear perception of what was happening and emphasizing the heat pooling between her leg with each of his thrusts.

She was on cloud nine, feeling her legs trembling as she neared her end, and his pace stuttered when he felt her walls clenching around his cock almost viciously, prompting him closer to his own release despite the tension of his body having yet to disappear. He went to a sudden stop, her confusion only lasting a mere second as his cum filled her up right after with his groans resonating around her. She whined back, his lips instinctively pressing against her neck to sooth her, having a hard time keeping up with the amount of cum overflowing inside her and dripping out on her thighs in the appearances of pearly white drops.

Eventually, she huffed tiredly, her mind finally starting to clear, and soon she would realise that he had came inside her. Possibly impregnating her with the sheer amount he had pounded inside her. But before she could think about it, he carefully took her hips with his hands, moving her to a new angle as he draw his cock back, leaving the rest of his semence to finally flow out. He pressed the tip of his dick between her folds once again, this time a small smirk on his face as he looked at her fucked out face.

"Darling. I'm not finished."

Her eyes widened, but she couldn't say anything that he was already back inside her. She didn't know how someone could have such stamina, and she wondered for a moment if he was human —which he wasn't but any hints he had given that he was fae had been drowned out by her pleasure. Yet, her mind quickly felt like mud, preparing herself for a long night.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦

Lilia stared incredulously at the way Malleus was fiddling with his breakfast the next morning, his mood visibly brighter than before. It was… troubling to say the least. The boy was easy to read, hiding his emotions has seemingly always been a problem for him who was easily swayed, and after he had so coldly scolded him, he didn't expect to see him in a good mood. So when the boy turned towards him with a contemplative look; "Those children of man sure hold many qualities." he was surprised to say the least.

What happened for him to change his mind so fast? He could only wonder.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst smut #malleus draconia #malleus x reader #malleus draconia smut #twisted wonderland malleus draconia #smut #twst malleus #twisted wonderland malleus #malleus draconia x reader #malleus smut

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therand0mwriter · 3 months

Text

Bare Your Soul

Alastor Hartfelt x Female!Reader

When the Hazbin Hotels second, more appropriate, commercial was interrupted by the news, Alastor decided to air his original, sarcastic, commercial. What no one expected was for the commercial to actually work.

"ɨ… աǟռȶ ȶօ… ɢɛȶ ȶօ ӄռօա ʏօʊ."

"𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽?"

Chapter 1 - The Hazbin Hotel

[Unedited]

[Update 02.08.24 - since I've had a lot of people come to me, pissed about the fact that I made Alastor's last name Altruist (even though I thought it sounded catchy), I changed it to Hartfelt. Yes, I know his last name isn't confirmed yet, but Hartfelt is the closest thing we'll come to a last name.]

[A/N: (h/c)=hair color, (h/l)=hair length, (h/t)=hair type (wavy, straight, curly, etc.)]

[2nd A/N: When I put (s/c) and (e/c) you can do what ever color you want, you're a demon in this story, have fun with it:)]

*3rd Person POV*

Charlie came back from the meeting with Adam and was feeling down on her luck. She had no idea on how to tell everyone that Extermination Day was now sooner than they expected. But when her girlfriend, Vaggie, came bounding up to her and told her that everyone at the hotel had made a new commercial, her heart swelled and her eyes teared up.

Charlie and Vaggie joined the group in the main area to watch the commercial, but was sorely disappointed when it was interrupted by the news announcing that Extermination Day was pushed up by six months.

Alastor, on the other hand, seized the opportunity. "Well, my dear," He started, standing and turning to Charlie. "I could always air my original commercial. Now that the announcement of Hell's newest problem is out of the way, I'm sure it won't be interrupted by anything. I'll even broadcast it from my radio tower!" He ended with a flourish of his staff.

Vaggie then stood, standing in front of Charlie, "Hold on, can't we just re-air the better commercial?" Alastor's already large grin widened, "I'm afraid not, dear. The agreement was to only show it once!" The one-eyed girl let out an 'ugh', face palming. Charlie stood next to Vaggie and begrudgingly started, "Well, I guess that's all we can do. Go ahead, Alastor."

"Wonderful!" The radio demon shouted before disappearing into his shadow. "Maybe it'll convince someone to come here?" Charlie said to Vaggie, a sheepish grin on her face.

*Time Skip, Next Day*

Everyone at the Hazbin Hotel just finished watching Alastor's original commercial, Alastor's grin more joyous than usual, Vaggie's eye was twitching wildly, Charlie was grimacing, and everyone else had looks of surprise. "I really hope nobody saw that." Vaggie commented, distaste clear in her voice.

*Meanwhile*

In a dark room, where the only source of light was the television, sat a lone woman. She watched with wide (e/c) eyes as a commercial out of place from the other ones started to play.

"Well, hello there you wayward sinner! Do you like blood, violence and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do! That's why you're in Hell! But what would you say if I told you there was a place to stay that had none of that? Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucifer's delusional daughter: Charlotte Morningstar! Come place your fate in her inexperienced hands as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you! Here, we offer fun things! Such as, somewhat functional staff! And 24 hour pest control. Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor! Enjoy riveting conversation with our singular resident. Wow! All this and more at the Hazbin Hotel! Your last desperate attempt at salvation starts here."

The woman muted the TV after the commercial ended, still staring with wide eyes as she processed what she just watched. Eventually, she started to giggle. Then that giggling turned into full blow boisterous laughing. She placed her hand on her forehead, shaking her head until she calmed down. Once she did, she let out a tired sigh, her shoulders drooping. "This might be my only chance." The woman said forlornly, turning off the TV, enveloping the room in darkness.

*Time Skip, Next Day*

At the hotel, Charlie was pacing back and forth as her cat, KeeKee, was also pacing with her, swerving in and out of Charlies moving legs. "Okay! So the extermination is coming in six months instead of a year. No big deal! Just a little setback! Nothing we can't handle." At this point in Charlies rambling, KeeKee had run off, most likely finding a place to sleep. Charlie continued her worried rambling, "Just Angels cutting our timetable in half. But who needs a whole year to save souls? Am I right?! And next time when they cut the time in half again and again, we'll just handle it, right?!"

Vaggie came up to her girlfriend and placed her hands on Charlie's shoulders, stopping her in her tracks and her panicked rant, "Yes, we will." Vaggie sent Charlie a comforting smile, but that smile was gone when Angel spoke up, "Oh, please. Ya had less than half a chance when you started all this salvation bullshit. And now," Angel paused, looking down to his phone to see multiple text messages from his boss, Valentino. "Ain't no silver lining this time, toots."

"Sure there is. We just have to look a little harder for it." Charlie responded, a hopeful smile on her face. "Well, while you're lookin', the rest of Hell is going nuts." Angel stated, turning his phone to Charlie to show multiple news headlines. "People are already freaking out about the news. Look at what's happening in the Doomsday District."

When Charlie leaned forward to look at Angel's phone, a text message popped up. "Uh, what is a 'donkey show'?" She questioned, her red eyes squinted in confusion. Angel's eyes went wide and he quickly brought his phone back to him, "Ah! Eh, nothing! My boss, Val, is just freaked out about the news, too. Like I said, everyone's losing their shit."

"Yeah," Vaggie started. "That's true. Sinners are desperate. Maybe desperate enough to try anything to escape the extermination?" Charlie gasped, a smile growing on her face once more, "This is the prefect time to recruit more sinners for the hotel!" She ended, throwing her arms up in the air in excitement. "Cute idea and all, but you really going to go out in all of this?" Angel questioned, turning his phone to the two women to show a fire and demons screaming in fear.

"Well, it's not like people are just going to show up on our doorstep." Charlie said and immediately after a loud explosion sounded, causing the girl to shout in surprise. The three turn to see a hole in the wall next to the bar. They then heard a dramatic voice come from outside, "Show yourself, Alastor! Come and face-" The voice, Sir Pentious, paused, looking from the hole in the wall to the balcony above it from his ship. There, sat Alastor, drinking from a mug that said 'OH DEER' on it. "Oh, there you are. Face my wrath!" Pentious continued. Alastor took a sip from his mug before turning back to the snake demon, "Who are you?"

"Who am I? Who am I? I am the great Sir Pentious! Inventor, architect of destruction, villain extraordinaire!" Said demon boasted as Alastor went into his shadow, moving to stand next to Charlie, Vaggie and Angel who had come outside to see the cause of disturbance. One of Sir Pentious Egg Boi's turned to him, "Woo! You tell 'em, boss."

Niffty had also came out from the hotel, climbing up Alastor's back and gasping with excitement, "Ooo! He's a bad boy." Alastor reached behind him and took ahold of Niffty by her scruff, placing her on the ground, "Huh, well if all that's true, you'd think I'd have heard of you." Pentious eyes were wide with disbelief, "I attacked you literally last week." The Radio demon tilted his head in confusion, a static hum coming from him. "We've done battle, like... 20 times?" Pentious explained, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "Well, you must have been really bad at this." Alastor said, a smug tone in his voice.

"Silence! Now cower!" The snake demon shouted. "For when I've slain you, the almighty Vee's will finally acknowledge me as their equal!" Niffty had climbed back onto Alastor's back, gasping in excitement once more. She then paused, "Wait, who are the Vee's?" Alastor waved them off, "Oh, nobody important. Now, let's deal with the nobody in front of us." The Radio demon chuckled darkly, static sounding from him as giant black tentacle came from the ground, wrapping around Sir Pentious ship, shaking it.

One of the tentacles smashed into the cockpit, causing Pentious to shout in fear, "Ahh! Please! Stop!" Alastor chuckled at the sight in front of him, his chuckling turning into manic laughter. "Um, Alastor?" Charlie called out, "I think he's had enough." Angel grinned, "Nah, he's got a few more hits in 'im."

The tentacles tilted the ship to where Pentious fell out of the cockpit and onto the cement with a crack. "Thanks for another forgettable experience." Alastor said, twirling his staff then leaning on it. Pentious slowly lifted one of his arms and slowly spoke, "Thank... you..." He then propped himself up, "For letting your guard down!" He quickly shot his tail out, taking ahold of the corner of Alastor's coat, ripping the edge off. "Haha! Yah!" Pentious shouted with glee, but immediately cowered as Alastor growled with anger, his antlers growing. "Oh, shit!" Pentious said before he was blasted off. He let out a scream of pain as green smoke followed him through the air as he flew.

When Pentious was out of view, Alastor turned to the three behind him, "Well, it looks as though I need a visit to the tailor. Best of luck, chums!" He turned back around, waving goodbye. Vaggie then stepped forward, "Wait, you're leaving? Alastor, we need your help. We need you to do your job." She stated. Angel added, gesturing to the large hole, "We need a wall." The Radio demon turned back to them, 'Of course! Can't let my new project fall into disrepair already. What would the papers say?" Alastor snapped his fingers, causing six black and white demons to appear from the ground as he walked away.

Angel giggled, pushing Vaggie out of his way as he made his way up to the largest black and white demon. "Hey, sweet cheeks." Angel started in a sultry tone, leaning one of his four arms on the demons shoulder. "What you doing later? I love me a man with a giant..." Angel pause, looking down at the demons crotch. "Tool." The spider demon finished.

"Um, am I interrupting?" A new voice started. Charlie, Vaggie and Angel look to their left to see a female demon they've never met before. Her hair was (h/l), (h/c) and (h/t), her clear skin was (s/c), and her eyes were a brilliant shade of (e/c). On top of her head was a set of antlers that were decorated in little colorful flowers. The antlers went up and curled into each other, forming the shape of a heart. Also on the top of her head was a set of fluffy (h/c) ears, similar to a deer.

[A/N: Something like this for your antlers. Image does not belong to me.]

"Wow! You look a lot like Alastor!" Charlie said, slightly amazed. The new female raised her eyebrow in confusion, "I'm sorry, who?" Vaggie then stepped in, a cautious tone to her voice, "Um, the Radio demon? You're not related to him, are you?" The new females eyes widened with realization, "Oh! Yes, I've heard of him. Don't worry, we aren't related. Are we that similar?"

Angel went and stood with Charlie and Vaggie, leaving the six black and white demons to do their job. "It's just the antlers and ears y'all got in common." Angel added. The female nodded in understanding and Charlie took a step towards her, a warm smile on her face, "So, what can we help you with?"

"Oh! Yeah!" The she-demons eyes went wide once more, remembering why she was there. She then became nervous, her hold on her suitcase, that the three others just noticed, tightened. "Uh, I saw your guys commercial. About the hotel. And I want to join, if that's okay?" With each word the female spoke, Charlie's grin grew wider and wider until she finally burst.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" Charlie jumped up and down in excitement, running forward to take the she-demons hands in hers. "Yes, yes, yes! Of course you can stay here! Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! We're going to help you get to Heaven! My names Charlie!" The said demon introduced, vigorously shaking the new females' hands. The blonde then stood next to the new she-demon, gesturing to Vaggie and Angel, "That's Vaggie, my girlfriend! And that's Angel Dust! Our other resident!" The two waved a greeting to the new girl, but before she could return it, Charlie was already pulling her inside.

"Here's our bartender, Husk! And over here we have Niffty! She does our cleaning! Oh! And these are my pets! Razzle, Dazzle and KeeKee! Oh! Let me show you all of the floors, the kitchen, the bathrooms-" Vaggie then stepped in front of Charlie, placing her hands on her girlfriends shoulder, "Charlie! Honey, we don't need to show her everything all at once. Take a breath and let her breath." And Charlie did just that, both her and Vaggie turning back to the new female.

"I'm sorry, during Charlie's excitement, we didn't get your name." Vaggie said, both her and Charlie sending a smile to the new female. The she-demon brushed off her dress, calming down from being pulled here and there. She cleared her throat before straightening her back and bowing her head slightly in a formal greeting, "My name is (Y/N) (L/N), It's an honor to meet you, princess Morningstar. Same with you, Vaggie. I hope I can be a good guest and help you achieve your goals."

Vaggie's eye went wide with surprise at how polite this she-demon was being, the only other person she's met that's this kind was Charlie. It made Vaggie a little suspicious. Charlie, on the other hand, was warmed by the greeting as tears swelled in her eyes. Angel then stepped up to the three women, "Wait, you said you saw a commercial. Which commercial did ya see?" Charlie then gasped, "Wait! You saw our commercial?!" The blonde shouted, shaking with excitement.

(Y/N) nodded, small smile on her lips, "Yes, I thought it was quite entertaining in all honesty." Charlie and Angel were confused while Vaggie squinted, "Wait, why was it entertaining?" (Y/N) gained a nervous sweat, "No offense, but I think my favorite part was about Charlie's daddy issues. I have no idea why you added it, but I liked it." She ended with a shrug. "Oh..." Charlie said dejectedly and Vaggie slapped her hand against her forehead. "Ugh, you saw Alastor's commercial." (Y/N) raised her eyebrow in surprise, "Really? I'll have to give him my compliments when I meet him."

Charlie shook her head and smiled again, placing her hand on (Y/N)'s shoulder, turning her towards the staircase, "Well, (Y/N), let me show you to your room. And please, just call me Charlie." The blonde said, referring to when (Y/N) called her 'princess Morningstar'.

Vaggie watched the two go up the stairs and disappear around the corner, her eye squinting with suspicion. Angel raised his brow at her, "What's with your face?" Vaggie ignored his comment, "How can someone in Hell be that nice? It doesn't make sense. Somethings gotta be up with her." Angel rolled his eyes at her paranoia, going and sitting back on the couch.

*Time Skip*

*(Y/N)'s POV*

It's been around an hour since you've arrived at the Hazbin Hotel. Charlie left you alone for the moment to settle into your room. After you finished placing your last piece of clothing away, you sat on your new bed and sighed, rubbing the area where your shoulder and neck connect. 'Charlie sure is energetic.' You thought to yourself.

Just then, you heard static outside your door. You look and see a shadow move from under the gap. As the shadow disappeared, so did the static. 'What was that?' You thought to yourself. You stood and made your way to your door, opening it and peeking your head out. You saw a red figure round the corner, the sound of static following them. You look around for Charlie, Vaggie, or anyone you could ask about the being you briefly saw. But there was no one in the hallway. 'Well, let's hope curiosity doesn't kill the deer...' You meekly thought, leaving your room and following after the red figure.

When you rounded the corner, you didn't see the figure. You then listened for the static, faintly hearing it. You made your way towards the noise, peeking your head around another corner. You then saw a door that was out of place from the other ones. This one was wooden, and had a small window near the top. Then, a light flickered on above the wooden door. You look and see it's an 'ON AIR' sign.

You thought back to when you first got to the hotel. On the outside was what looked to be a broadcasting tower, you just didn't think it was still functional from how it was leaning away from the building. "Salutations! Good to be back on the air!" You then heard a voice that sounded like it was coming from an old-timey radio say. 'Is that Alastor?' You thought, your curiosity growing. 'What does the infamous Radio Demon look like?'

Without thinking, you approached the door and pulled it open to see a metal flight of stairs leading up. "Yes I know it's been awhile since someone with style treated Hell to a broadcast, sinners rejoice!" You heard, what you assumed to be, Alastor say. You continued up the stairs, hearing a new voice you didn't recognized. This voice was clear, as if he was speaking to you in person, "What a dated voice!"

When you got to the top, you were met with another door, but this one was left ajar. "Instead of a clout chasing mediocre video podcast!" You heard Alastor say. You peek through the opening of the door and finally laid your eyes on him, The Radio Demon. He had pale skin, red eyes, short red hair that turned black for the last few inches, deer like ears that were larger than mine sat atop of his head, a set of antlers that were smaller than mine also accompanied his ears, and a large, sharp tooth yellow grin.

He wore a red suit and monocle, his bowtie, gloves, pants and shoes being black (accented by red). In his hand was his staff that, what looked to be, an older version of a microphone. "Come on!" The unknown voice shouted. "Is Vox insecure pursuing allure? Flitting between this fad and that, is nothing working?" Alastor responded smugly into his staff, lifting his shoulders in a shrug.

"Ignore his chirping!" The second voice, Vox, shouted once more, sounding irritated. "Every day he's got a new format." The Radio Demon added. "You're looking at the future, he's she shit that comes before that!" The TV demon bellowed with a singing tone. Unfortunately for him, his comment didn't bother Alastor one bit. "Is Vox as strong as he purports, or is it based on his support? He'd be powerless without the other Vee's!" Alastor sang back, his comment causing you to smile in amusement. "Oh, please!" Vox said, not knowing a better comeback.

"And here's the sugar on the cream, he asked me to join his team-" Alastor was interrupted by panicked Vox, "Hold on!" But the Radio Demon continued to sing into his staff, leisurely leaning back in his chair, "I said no and now he's pissy, that's the tea!" You had to cover your mouth to keep the giggle bubbling in your throat from slipping out.

"You old timey prick! I'll show you suf-suffering!" Vox's voice started to glitch. "Uh oh! The TV is buffering!" Alastor teased, propping his head on his hands. "I'll destroy yoo-o-u-u you little-" Before Vox could finish his sentence, he cut out, along with all of the power in Hell. You jumped in surprise at the sudden darkness coming from outside, but also at the fact that the only place that still had power was the broadcasting tower.

"I'm afraid you've lost your signal." Alastor continued, leaning forward, the air in the tower becoming sinister. "Let's begin, I'm gonna make you wish that I'd stayed gone." With every word he sang, Alastor's antlers grew along with his malicious grin. "Tune on in. When I'm done," Alastor stood from his seat, his form growing larger and more lanky. The red in his sclera turned pitch black, only his iris staying red. What looked to be red stitching started to appear all over his body and clothes, making him resemble a voodoo doll. "Your status quo will know its race is run," Red liquid started to leak from his mouth. "Oh this will be fun!" Alastor ended with a maniacal laugh, his pupils turning into little radio dials.

'So this is him... The Radio Demon.' You didn't know if you should be scared shitless or amazed by his power. Alastor returned to his normal form, taking a sip of his tea. He then suddenly spoke up, "Are you going to join me or just keep watching me from the shadows?" Alastor turned to the door, and I instantly knew he was talking to me. 'He's a powerful demon, of course he noticed me.' You thought, mentally face palming. You noted that he still sounded like he was speaking through a radio. 'How strange, but fitting for the Radio Demon.' You pushed the door open and stepped in, "I apologize, I didn't mean to eavesdrop."

*3rd Person POV*

"I apologize, I didn't mean to eavesdrop." When the she-demon stepped in, Alastor paused, taking in her looks. (H/l) (h/c) hair, (s/c) skin, (e/c) eyes, deer ears, and antlers in the shape of a heart with flowers. She wore a long-sleeved black dress that stopped mid-thigh, with small black buttons on the top of the dress, along with a thin black bowtie that sat above her exposed chest (but of course not exposing anything indecent). She also wore white tights, covering the skin on her legs. On her feet were black Mary Jane heels that completed her outfit. 'How strange,' Alastor thought. 'She doesn't look half bad.'

[A/N: Something like this for your dress. Image does not belong to me.]

Alastor stood and made his way to the girl, "It is no problem, my dear! I broadcasted it for all of Hell to hear. Did you at least enjoy it?" He then twirled his staff in a flashy manner. The she-demon nodded, a small smile adorning her (thin/plump) lips, "Yes, I thought it was entertaining." Alastor's never-leaving smile widened at her words and he straightened his coat, "The names Alastor! Alastor Hartfelt! And who do I have the pleasure of being in the presence of?" He held out his hand to her, bending his body slightly to meet her height.

She stared at his hand, then back up to meet his eyes. Alastor tilted his head at her hesitancy. She started to stutter, embarrassed when she realized she had been staring, "S-Sorry, it's just that your eyes are much brighter up close." Before Alastor could respond or even think about her comment, she took ahold of his hand, shaking it. "My name is (Y/N) (L/N), it's an honor to meet you. I am the newest resident of the Hazbin Hotel." She said, slightly bowing her head in respect.

Before she could take her hand back, Alastor brought it up to her lips, leaving a kiss on her knuckles, "Please, dear! The pleasure is all mine!" When he let go of her hand, (Y/N) placed both of her hands behind her back, out of sight to Alastor as she rubbed her knuckles. Alastor discreetly pursed his smiling lips afterwards, both of the demons thinking: 'Why did that burn?'

"So," Alastor started, tilting his head again. "You're the newest resident? How did you come about the hotel?" To his surprise, she started to chuckle. "I actually saw your commercial, and I have to say, I found it quite hilarious." She giggled, placing her hand over her mouth to keep her laughter at bay. Both Alastor's eyes and smile widened with glee, "That was the goal, dear! I'm so glad you liked it! But I have to say, I am surprised it made you want to come here."

At his words, (Y/N)'s laughter halted. Alastor took note of her mood change. "Yes, well, you did say in your commercial that this was a path to redemption. Even if it is misguided," She let out a soft chuckle at the memory. "I want to get into Heaven." Alastor hummed, "Why do you want to go to Heaven?" (Y/N) opened her mouth to respond, but then shut it. She thought for a moment, a mental battle clear on her face. Eventually, she gave Alastor a strained smile, "Personal reasons."

Alastor hummed again, 'Interesting...' He thought. "Very well!" Alastor started, twirling his staff once more. He then moved to the door, holding it open. "Shall we? I'm sure Charlie hasn't finished giving you the tour yet. We don't want her to be disappointed at your sudden absence." (Y/N)'s (e/c) eyes widened and she took quick steps to the door, "Ah, you're right! It's rude to be late!"

As (Y/N) made her way down the stairs, she missed the way Alastor looked at her. His head was tilted and his eyes were squinted. 'What an anomaly.' He thought right before following her.

*Time Skip*

Charlie had just finished giving (Y/N) the full tour of the hotel, with Alastor accompanying them and making little sarcastic remarks here and there, making (Y/N) chuckle (much to Charlie's dismay). "Well, what d'ya think!?" Charlie asked, grin large and holding her arms out wide, gesturing to the hotel. (Y/N) nodded, small smile on her lips, "It's nice." At her words, the blonde squealed, "Ah! I'm so glad you like it!" She then took ahold of (Y/N)'s hands in hers, "Trust me, (Y/N)! I'll do everything in my power to get you redeemed and into Heaven!"

Alastor took in the doe demons expression and could easily tell she was uncomfortable at her personal space being invaded. But, she continued to smile. "Thank you, Charlie. I appreciate your effort." She said, making the princess jumped in happiness.

Just then, Charlie's phone went off with a notification. She looked at the message and gained a mischievous grin. "Oh, (Y/N)!" Charlie said in a sing-song tone, "There's something waiting for you in the foyer!" The blonde started to make her way, skipping in excitement while Alastor and (Y/N) followed behind at a leisurely pace.

The doe demon sighed, but smiled nonetheless, "It's a welcoming party, isn't it?" Alastor looked to her through the corner of his eye, seeing her looking straight ahead at Charlie with a tired fondness. "How could you tell?" Alastor asked, already knowing the answer. (Y/N) softly chuckled, "Charlie is easy to read." The Radio Demon found this interesting. Then a question formed in his mind. He needed to gather more intel on this strange being. "Am I easy to read?"

Finally, (Y/N) looked up at him through her (long/short) lashes, her lips still holding that small smile, "No, you're an anomaly."

Alastor halted in his steps, staring at the doe demons figure as she got smaller and smaller, still following Charlie. When both of their figures disappeared around the corner, Alastor felt like he could finally breath. Multiple thoughts ran through his, now panicked, mind.

'Who is she?'

'Why is she here?'

'Can she read my mind?'

'She has to be fucking with me.'

'There has to be more to her.'

'She must be playing dumb.'

"Alastor? Are you still joining us?" The male snapped his head up to see just the person he was freaking out about. (Y/N) had stepped back around the corner, her eyebrow raised in question. 'Well you know what they say: keep your friends close and your enemies closer...' Alastor thought before disappearing into his shadow just to reappear next to the girl, making her jump in surprise. "Of course, dear! I apologize if I kept you waiting." (Y/N) smiled in response, "It's alright. No need to apologize."

The two then finished the walk to the foyer in silence, being greeted by a loud 'Surprise!' when they made it to their destination. There was a large banner that said: 'Welcome (Y/N)!' in different colored paint, the bar was decorated in hearts, there was a table full of food and the center pieces were bouquets of wild flowers, on a different table were various card and board games, and next to the couch was a... karaoke machine.

Alastor noticed how (Y/N)'s shoulders dropped when she laid eyes on the singing machine. He leaned down to her height, "What's the matter, dear? Don't like to sing?" (Y/N) shook her head, "No, not really. I don't sing." There was another thing Alastor found interesting about her. Every one in Hell sang, even him.

Charlie came bounding up to both of the deer demons, "So, (Y/N)! It's your party! What would you like to do first?" The girl looked around and noticed everyone's eyes on her, waiting for her response. "U-Um, why don't you guys get a game of cards started while I go get a drink?" Charlie smiled and nodded, her, Vaggie and Angel heading to the game table. (Y/N) made her way to the bar and Alastor watched her every move.

"What will ya have?" Husk questioned, his tone bored. "Do you have any wine or whiskey?" (Y/N) asked, taking a seat. "No to the wine, and for the whiskey, we only have the cheap stuff." Husk responded, gesturing to the bottles behind him. "Oh," (Y/N) hummed, thinking about what else she should order.

Alastor disappeared into his shadow, reappearing next to the doe demon, making her jump in surprise once more. "I believe I might be able to help you!" Alastor said. With a wave of his hand, he summoned a bottle of whiskey from his personal stash that was already 1/4th gone. (Y/N) squinted her eyes to read the label, and when she saw what it was, her eyes went as wide as saucers. "No way!" She started, looking from the bottle to Alastor. "Macallan 1926?! How did you get that?!" Alastor chuckled, pleased at how she knew how valuable the alcohol was, "I have my ways, darling. I only bring this out for special occasions, so consider this a welcoming gift, from me to you."

[A/N: Fun fact, a bottle of Macallan 1926 is worth over two million dollars.]

When Alastor reached behind the bar and took two brandy glasses, Husk took that as his que to leave, taking a bottle of the cheap whiskey and joining the others. Alastor filled the glasses a third of the way, gently sliding one over to (Y/N). She looked at it with furrowed brows, turning her gaze to Alastor, "Are you sure I can have this?" The Radio Demon tilted his head in confusion, "Do you not want it?"

(Y/N) vigorously shook her head, not wanting to offend the male. "No! Of course I do... It's just, I don't feel like I'm worth it..." She ended her sentence, playing with the base of the glass in a nervous habit. Alastor's head stayed tilted, wondering what the girl had done to make herself feel too guilty to accept a drink. Alastor then straightened up, taking his glass in his empty hand, "Well, believe it or not, I think you're worth it. If I didn't, I wouldn't be offering you this drink now, would I?" He ended with a laugh. (Y/N) looked up at him with wide doe eyes, surprised at the Radio Demon's kind words. She gave him a genuine smile, "Thank you, I appreciate it, Alastor."

Something ticked inside of the males mind at finally seeing a smile that reached the doe demons (e/c) eyes and how his name sounded coming from her voice. 'How strange,' He thought. 'I'll dissect that later.' Alastor went and stood next to the girl, offering her his left arm, "Shall we? Everyone is waiting for us." (Y/N) kept her smile, standing and linking her right arm with Alastor's, her drink in her left hand, "We shall."

[A/N: let me know if I missed changing any 'Alruist' to 'Hartfelt']

#x reader #fanfiction #reader insert #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #x female reader #alastor #alastor x reader #bare your soul fanfic #alastor hartfelt #alastor hartfelt x reader

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doe-eyed-fool · 1 month

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Heaven Is Where You Are

Chapter Two

Lucifer x Fem!Reader

Warning(s): Slight Angst

Charlie had returned your clothes to you after they were washed clean from the blood. After getting dressed, you joined Charlie in the hotel lobby. But she wasn't the only one waiting.

There were a few other demons in the lobby as well.

"How are you feeling, Y/n?" Charlie asks as she approaches you. "Better, thank you." You tell her with a small smile. "So um, who are they?"

"These are my friends, they also help out around the hotel." Says Charlie, turning to the group of demons. "Everyone, this is Y/n." You waved slightly, feeling awkward. And a tad intimidated, due to the demon with one eye staring at you.

Charlie listed everyone's names as she introduced them to you. You felt a little uncomfortable as you were introduced to Alastor. He looked as if he were plotting something, with that malicious grin of his.

But, you felt more scared of the tiny one eye demon, Niffty. So small and yet, so terrifying...

"So you ain't dead after all?" Asked a tall lanky spider demon. "And you're an angel?"

"Yes and uh, well no, not anymore." You mutter. "Um, I don't know if Charlie has told you, but, I'm not one of the exorcist angels."

"You know about them? I thought Heaven was keeping that kind of information secret." Said Vaggie. Strange, she looked awfully familiar...

"Well, one angel in particular has a big mouth." You sigh.

"Adam." Charlie and Vaggie say in unison. Charlie shook her head before her smile returned. "Anyhow, I was wondering if you had anywhere to stay for the time being?"

You shook your head. "I didn't really plan that far ahead." You admit. "Then you can stay here!" Charlie says cheerfully. "Oh, I don't want to intrude." You say.

"Trust me, we can use all the people we can get." Charlie mutters. "Lots of empty rooms."

"But it looks so nice...Are those barricades?"

"Yeah." Charlie laughs weakly. "Sorry, tomorrow is going to be...rough. I'm sure you know why." Oh that's right. But wait, it's too early for the yearly extermination, isn't it?

"But it hasn't even been a year." You say, confused. Charlie crosses her arms, a look of frustration on her face as she spoke. "Adam decided to move it up early. He's coming right for the hotel with his army of angels."

You sigh. You never did like Adam. He was the absolute worst, and now he's gone and done something as rash as this? And here you thought he couldn't get anymore terrible.

You wish there was something you could do to help. But without your wings, you were pretty much useless...

"But that doesn't matter right now." Charlie reaches for her phone. "For now, you and a certain someone have need to have a reunion." She grins.

Suddenly, you were overwhelmed with nerves, but also excitement. You were moments away from seeing Lucifer again after all this time. What would you say?

Gosh, how did you even look right now?

That fall did more than just hurt you. You were sure you looked a mess.

"Do you mind if I straighten myself up a little? I'd like to look presentable for Lucifer. It'd be a shame to be apart for thousands of years, only to reunite looking a mess." You say with a chuckle.

Charlie nods. "Of course, take your time."

You quickly thank her before rushing upstairs and back to the room you were in to freshen up.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, you looked much better, aside from the obvious nervous look on your face. It really has been thousands of years. Was he still the same Lucifer you knew back then? Has he changed at all? And if so, how much?

No one really spoke much about Lucifer back in Heaven. Other than to recall the story of his exile. You couldn't help but wonder.

What has ten thousand years of damnation done to him?

There was a knock at the door, causing you to gasp. You became less tense as you heard Charlie's voice.

"Y/n, you in there?"

You stepped out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, looking ahead at the door. "Yes." You tell her. There were sounds of muffled voices from the other side of the door. Charlie's and...

Your heart rate sky rocketed at the sound of the other voice. It sounded so much like his. It had to be him.

You stepped closer to the door and listened carefully.

'So, what was it you called me for again? Is everything alright?'

It was him.

You felt tears gathering in your eyes, you kept listening.

'I have a surprise for you. And I know you're going to love it!' Said Charlie excitedly.

'Heh, I must, if you say I will.'

'Y/n? Can I come in?'

You take a breath to push back the shakiness of your voice. "Yes, you can."

You took a step back as the door opened. Charlie couldn't hold back her excitement, she stepped aside, revealing the man you've longed to see for so long.

Lucifer's wide eyes met your own. The two of you fell silent at the sight of each other.

He looked different. No longer wearing the angelic robes he once wore in Heaven, now sporting sharp fangs and claws, and his eyes blood red.

But you knew it was him. Despite everything, it's still him...

"Y/n..." Your name fell from Lucifer's lips, and it sounded so heavenly coming from him.

"Lu-"

You could barely get his name out as he brought you into a tight embrace. There was nothing holding back the damn in your eyes now, as the tears streamed down your cheeks.

Charlie smiled warmly, stepping out of the room and shutting the door, leaving you two alone.

You then felt Lucifer's hands rubbing at your back.

"What have they done to you?" His voice wavered.

You sigh into his chest. "I allowed it." Lucifer furrowed his brows and pulled back to look at you. "You did this asked for this? You fell...willingly?" You nod. "Why? Why would you have done that?" You were silent for a moment. Lucifer's confusion turned into concern, and maybe even panic.

"Y/n...Don't tell me you let yourself fall from Heaven...for me."

You smiled, moving your hand up to his cheek. "I couldn't stand it Lucifer. So many nights I spent alone, and all I could do was pray for a moment like this. Lucifer..."

"Being apart from you, killed me."

Tears pooled in Lucifer's eyes. "You gave up everything...There's no going back from here Y/n. Don't you understand? You don't deserve to be here. Down here...this awful place, it's not for you."

"Like Heaven was any better." You mutter. "I know everything about what really goes on there. I don't understand how they can call themselves angels. The lies, the secrets, the exterminations...." You sigh before leaning back onto his chest. "I didn't see a point of staying any longer."

"But you've lost everything for me." Said Lucifer. You furrow your brows slightly. "You make that sound like a bad thing."

"It is." Lucifer turns his gaze away from you. "I don't deserve to see you again, and you didn't deserve to loose your place in Heaven because of someone like me."

"Lucifer..." You reach for his hand, but he pulls back. Still not looking at you, he speaks. "I'm not the same person I was back then, Y/n. So much has happened since I fell. Sure, some good but...bad things too. I just don't want you to regret your choice."

"Talk to me Lucifer."

Lucifer glanced at you, your smile weakened. "It's been ten thousand years after all."

#hazbin hotel #lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer #hazbin lucifer x reader

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theunaestheticstudyblr · 10 months

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How I prep for a new semester at uni:

I make a new time block sheet. I put all my classes in, then my commute time. From there I plan study hours, when I need to wake up to not feel rushed, work hours, etc. This plan helps to keep me from getting too overwhelmed and let me feel like I have everything under control.

I do my school shopping on prime day or after the back to school rush. You'll find those nice multi subject notebooks on sale for cheap and fun stationary and backpacks a lot cheaper like this!

I try to get a head start in classes. If I know we're reading a book or something I'll start a couple weeks before school starts. I try to take notes on as many chapters/subjects as I can and all that. This not only helps me get ahead, but it also helps me for when I inevitably fall behind.

I get all the routine maintenance done on my car. I drive over an hour to get to classes so this is very important. Oil change, tire rotation, balance, filters, etc. I save up my summer tips to get all this done.

I stock up on easy and fast foods. Instant noodles, granola bars, frozen meals, etc. Between working a lot and doing classes I don't have the energy to cook and do dishes so this saves me.

I give myself little reasons to get excited. The teacher or the campus or a friend. Whatever it may be. I HAVE to have a reason to drive that long to attend a class for an hour and come back and not get stressed.

I make a food budget. It's so easy to spend $150 a week on snacks and treats and coffees and such. So I have to set a budget and a plan for myself so I can actually pay my rent haha

I plan my walks to classes on campus. Where I'll park, how much time I have between classes, how to get there, etc.

If I have late classes, I make sure that I can call someone after every class as I walk to my car to make sure I'm safe.

Plan little treats and rewards. If I realize there's a week that's going to be super hard on me, I'll plan a little early morning walk or something special I don't do often after as a reward.

I try to be more positive to myself the closer the semester comes. I have to be proud of me and my work. I have to be confident in my abilities. So I have to have that mindset. Which is super hard as someone with severe anxiety and depression and who has been conditioned growing up to be quiet and a background character essentially. But I AM good. I AM smart. I can ace these classes. I deserve to be here and I deserve good things.

I triple check with my job to make sure they have my updated availability and will give me the flexibility I require due to my classes.

Overall, I just get my shit together once again and try and get myself excited. I have the opportunity to study at a university and that in itself is absolutely amazing and something I don't take for granted.

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a-kaash-me-outside · 4 months

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a bit dirty - ch6

in which you hook up with osamu in a club bathroom and that's just the beginning. prev | ch6 [masterlist]

// a really great idea ~ ᴏsᴀᴍᴜ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ~ 7392 ᴡᴏʀᴅs

a look into this chapter: 18+ minors dni nsfw, squirting, sex in a bed!!, a lot of feelings and love!!!!, intimacy in more than just the bedroom fr, names names names pet names a million pet names, oral f!receiving, afab she/her pronouns

tori talks: oh good god guys we're finally here. thanks to everyone who is going to read this last chapter even though it literally took me over 6 months to write it. i hope you enjoy it and i'm glad it's over and that it happened. ily all. hope u enjoy. ♡ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢs ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴs ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ♡

you’re not sure you’d admit it to anyone, but walking into osamu’s apartment for the first time feels like coming home after a long day at work. you can see yourself here, more than you can in your own apartment or your childhood home. you feel just a little bit more like yourself, shoulders relaxing in a way that you didn’t think they needed to, breath a tiny fraction steadier. you’re not sure you’ve felt this comfortable in a really long time.

you don’t have to ask him where to put your shoes or where to hang your jacket, and he doesn’t take them from you either. he doesn’t put them away for you or tell you to hang them on the hangers in the empty closet down the hall.

when he unlocks his door and pushes inside, you mimic his motions, placing your shoes gingerly on the rack to the right of the closet between his white sneakers and black work shoes, hanging your jacket on the empty hooks above the spot where you've just retired your shoes.

stepping deeper into his apartment, he offers a small, “so, welcome,” he says, gesturing to the living room, one hand softly wrapped around yours as he tugs you along. stepping past the barrier of the front door, further into osamu’s space, you don’t feel like a guest here. you just feel like you belong.

“oh my god, it’s so clean in here,” you say, a few paces ahead of him now, but he refuses to break contact, to let go of your fingertips so he walks quickly along with you.

“well, yea, i’m not really ever home,” he explains, shrugging, as you walk around his living room eyes stopping at the neatly organized coffee table with cork coasters and a yellow hard-covered book titled this book will make you kinder, at the photos on his wall of him and his brother and him and his restaurant and him and suna, at the plants in the window sill and the dustless, dirtless ledge beneath them.

you shake your head, “no, that’s not true. you come home after work and you’re here before you leave for work, and i’m sure you’re super busy leaving in the morning and super tired when you come home at night, so it’s really impressive that it’s really clean.”

he lets out a half-laugh, a breathy light scoff in the place of a real response. you turn around, looking at him directly with a mischievous look on your face, “unless you cleaned your apartment just for me tonight?”

osamu’s quiet, a very telling silence, a wordless admittance. “oh my god!” you say, hands on your hip, and the slight hold that he has on your fingertips isn’t broken yet, his hand now pressed against your side, fingers curling around your hip as he pulls you a little closer.

“okay!” he admits, “so i am pretty tidy anyways, but there may have been a few dishes in the sink and the bed might not have been made and the couch cushions didn’t look that good before but-”

you shake your head, clicking your tongue, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as you tease, “how presumptuous of you that i would come back here after our date?”

“i didn’t think we’d just fuck in the bathroom again, baby, what was i supposed to do, you literally said-” he says, trying to explain himself, unstoppable smile on his face as he pulls you even closer to him.

“do you think i’m that kinda girl? to just fuck you on the first date?” you ask, palm flat against his chest now, the other hand snaking up to lazily drape around his neck.

he shakes his head, wrapping his arms around you tight around your arms and shoulders, holding you in place as he laughs so deep that it sends tingles and shivers down your spine and skin. “you’re very funny, y’know that?” he asks, squishing you against his chest as he presses kiss after kiss into the top of your head.

“you made the bed? fixed the couch cushions? samu, i mean, really, what did you think was going to happen tonight?” you giggle, emphasizing every other word dramatically as you squirm in his tight grasp.

“i mean,” he says, leaning back to look at the warmth on your face, the fluster that lies with it, “you are here, aren’t you? i couldn’t have been that wrong if the cleaning paid off.”

you giggle harder now, leaning up and pressing a kiss into wherever you can reach in his strong hold. “i sure am,” you agree. he loosens his grip, hand falling down your arm to thread his fingers with yours again. he pecks a small kiss against your lips and then your cheek.

“you sure are,” he says, warmly.

you really could’ve stayed in the middle of his living room forever surrounded by couches and books on shelves and an impressive entertainment system. you didn’t need any of it either, didn’t need a place to sit or things to keep you busy, you’d be really happy just staring at osamu for the rest of time, at hearing him laugh, at feeling his pulse in your palm.

“can i getcha a drink?” he asks, pulling you out of this mellow, love-struck state in the name of hospitality.

“only if i can come with you,” you say, looking over his shoulder into the kitchen. your motivation is 70% wanting to stay with osamu and 30% wanting to see what his kitchen looks like: what kind of mugs he has, where he keeps his silverware, if his knives and pans are on display or tucked away in cabinets.

“clingy,” he teases, smile huge because there wasn’t any way that he was leaving you alone for even a second.

“fine! i'll stay in here,” you pout.

he doesn’t respond, only laughs and pulls you by the hand, “come on, pretty.”

you don’t protest anymore, following along happily into the kitchen, forcing yourself to sit on the barstool in front of the bar rather than snoop in his cupboards and drawers. he’s hesitant to let his touch fall from yours, to let go of the contact he has on your hand and your hip, but he does, presses a small kiss into the side of your head, and walks deeper into his kitchen.

from here you can see the kettle on the counter and the knives on a metallic strip above the black countertop. the pans are nowhere to be seen. they must be hidden away somewhere safe. you don’t say anything and neither does he as he pulls wine glasses and mugs and cups out of the cupboard and places them on the countertop in front of you.

and you still don’t feel like a guest.

it feels like osamu getting you a drink is because he loves you, like you could get up and get your own if you wanted to, like you already knew where the tea bags were and the spoons and the shelf that the sugar resided, like next time you would return the favor, let him sit down for a minute while you made the two of you tea or poured another glass of wine.

“what’s it gonna be?” he asks, gesturing to your choices on the bar in front of you.

“y’know you could’ve just asked me that before pulling out all the cups?” you tease, eyes moving from cup to mug to wine glass.

he shrugs, “not as visual.”

“what are you in the mood for?” you ask, reaching to pick up the mug, black ceramic with a gray stripe along the base. you turn it over in your hand, running your fingers along the matte texture. yeah, this feels like a mug osamu would own.

“anything, really,” he says, smiling before the rest of the flirt even comes out of his mouth, “as long as i’m drinking it with you on my couch, i will be very happy.”

you roll your eyes. it’s really unfair how predictable, yet how adorable, he is when it comes to things like that. “alright, how about wine now, tea later?” you ask.

he rests both of his hands on the edge of the counter for a moment, nodding as he does, removing the cups from the counter and pushing the mugs towards the tea kettle. “sounds like a plan, angel,” he says, disappearing behind the pantry door and coming back with a bottle of wine.

he doesn’t recork the wine or put the bottle back, leaves it exactly where he sets it on the counter in a rush to just drink wine on his couch with you. he carries your glass for you as he guides you back to the couch.

sitting on the plush, perfectly set cushions, tucking yourself into the corner against the arm rest, osamu pressed up against you, pulling your legs over the tops of his, his hand resting comfortably on your calf, you’re not sure you’ll ever really be ready to go back to your own cold, lonely apartment. when you close your eyes, you can see this moment next week and next month and three years from now.

your first glass of wine isn’t even finished before he interrupts your current conversation of favorite movies and media with a stupidly cute, nervous question, “so, can i ask you now?”

you want to be stunned or at least fake it, but you can only lean closer into him, setting your wine glass down on the coaster on the coffee table to wrap both of your arms around his bicep. “ask me what?” you tease.

he shakes his head, “y’know that night i thought you were so out of my league.”

you lean backwards, mouth agape, eyebrows furrowed in disbelief, “no fucking way.”

“swear,” he laughs, leaning forward to set his glass down next to yours, “and i was out of my depth, had no idea what i was doing, just couldn’t stop staring at you-”

“oh, i know,” you say, recalling his smitten, lingering stare so perfectly that your face feels warm, “every time i would look over in your direction you would be looking at me like this.” you mimic your recollection as best as you can.

he puts his face in his hands. “that’s so embarrassing,” he says, and it’s muffled by his palms. you wrap your hands around his wrists, pulling them away from his face and kissing the backs of them.

“no, no, it was cute,” you say, but he still groans. you continue, “samu, i was into it, obviously.”

he explains further, “sumu was like shoving me over there so blatantly that i almost didn’t go over there.” he shakes his head at the memory, at the alternate universe where his stupid brother alone failed to start the best chain of events of his life. “and then omi leaned over to me and was like, ‘i'll distract your dumbass brother, go have a good night, you deserve it.’”

“remind me to thank him then,” you say, softly, shifting against the couch to lean against his shoulder instead of the armrest.

“will do,” he says, smile in his voice as he snakes his arm around your waist, hand resting on the side of your thigh. “i’ve thanked him plenty for both of us, but it might mean more coming from a new mouth.”

“you just say the most romantic things like it’s nothing,” you say.

“i don’t try,” he admits, “just hard not to be romantic when i’m with you.” he reaches across you with his other arm, pulls you further into his lap until both of your knees are on either side of his thighs and you’re facing him. “sorry,” he mumbles, “wanted to look at ya.”

“you’ve gotta be doing this on purpose,” you whisper.

his fingers scrape against the tops of your tights before rooting on your hips. he shakes his head. “it’s all you, really,” he whispers back. “these thoughts just come into my mind and i say them. love you so much, you make it easy.”

you’re very grateful for this position because it’s effortless to lean down and crash your lips into his, to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him deeper into the kiss, to feel his chest lift to kiss you harder. he tastes like expensive wine and a little bit like you still and you might cry, he’s just really perfect.

he places his hand on your shoulder, holds you in place as he leans back into the couch. the pout is already forming on your lip, so he runs his thumb across it gently. “will you be mine?” he asks, adding before you’ve even answered, “let me love you with labels.”

“oh my god, samu, you’re going to kill me, y’know that?” you say, hands cupping both of his cheeks before kissing him sweetly. “how do you expect me to keep up with this?”

“just say yes,” he says, quickly, “that’s enough for me.”

“of course,” you say, forehead resting gently against his, kiss placed on his nose and then the high of his cheekbone. you repeat it again just in case he missed it the first time, “of course.”

“i’m sorry that i didn’t make this happen sooner,” he says, soft sigh accompanying his remorseful tone.

“stop that,” you hush him.

“i mean it,” he says, sitting up into you a bit more, “if i would’ve figured my shit out sooner, we could’ve been doing this for months.”

“yeah, but you don’t know if everything would’ve turned out the same way,” you say, bringing your hands up into his hair, “if that would’ve been too soon or if we needed to go through all we went through to be as strong as we are now, there’s no way to know, really.”

he smiles at you, not opening his mouth to say anything, just soaking in the moment, humming at your astute thought. you continue, “i guess i just mean that, yea, getting more time with you would’ve been great, but we can’t do anything about that. so i’m just really glad to be with you now, here, drinking wine and sitting in your lap and kissing you.”

“and you say i’m the romantic,” he murmurs, kissing you once more.

“you are,” you argue.

/\ /\ /\

neither of you even finish your first glass of wine. even if you had, there was no way the two of you were untangling from each other and making your way into the kitchen for another, not in the middle of unimportance conversations about your thoughts on christmas lights or osamu’s thoughts on the type of pet he’d like to have one day.

but as the hours tick on, as the clock hands droop lower and lower, osamu knows that you need some sort of transition period to staying the night. “cup of tea before we go to bed?” he asks, head resting against the back cushion of the couch staring into your eyes with as much love as he can.

“are you being presumptuous again, samu?” you tease, but your eyelids are getting heavier and you can’t put a lot of effort into the taunting.

“i’m sorry, princess, do you want to stay the night?” he asks, gut-wrenchingly sincere.

“i would really love that, yea,” you say, flustered in the backfiring of your banter, “and tea sounds really nice too.”

he nods, once, short and happy, ready to move you off of his lap to go get the two of you a final drink before bed, but you get off of him first. “i’ll get it,” you offer, waiting with bated breath for him to fight you on it or to be weirded out by the forwardness of raiding his kitchen to feel the domesticity a little harder.

he doesn’t protest at all, lets the smitten, lingering stare last for a few moments before saying, “only if i can come with you.”

before you’ve made it to the kitchen with osamu in tow, he stops you, plants in place in front of the hallway to his bedroom, and nods towards it. “but first, can we get you into some comfier clothes?” he asks. “nighttime tea tastes better when you’re in comfy clothes,” he reasons. you can’t disagree.

you follow him down the hall to his room. you don’t get a good look at his plainly decorated room or the nicely made bed as you wait in the doorway. he returns quickly with a t-shirt of his. “you can change in the bathroom across the hall if you want,” he offers.

“you know you were inside of me in a fancy restaurant bathroom hours ago, right?” you ask, narrowing your eyes, pushing past him into his room and taking off all of your date clothes. osamu folds them neatly as you set them on the bed. when he picks up your torn tights, he can’t hold back his small laugh.

“oh yea, so funny,” you joke, “you can probably throw those away.”

“but they’re perfectly good for having sex in public bathrooms,” he jokes back.

you pull his shirt over your head, soft cotton taking the place of going out clothes and the difference is already lulling you to sleep. you’re determined to make osamu tea, but you can’t promise most of the cup won’t go cold on the counter.

it doesn’t take long for osamu to be on you, arms wrapped around your waist, hands roaming over your body, “you look so good right now.”

“shut up,” you say, pushing him away with the least amount of resolve anyone has ever had, “imagine how i feel looking at you wearing stuff like this.”

“you look better in it than i do,” he says, shaking his head.

“not possible,” you say back.

he leans down to kiss you once before reluctantly pulling away, walking back over to his dresser to change into comfier clothes as well. if you weren’t so stupidly tired, seeing osamu shirtless and in super casual sweatpants would’ve been the perfect catalyst for your first night together having sex in a bed.

tea. sleep. tea. sleep. tea. sleep. you remind yourself.

“c’mon, angel,” he coaxes, pulling you by your hand back down the hallway and into the kitchen. he leans against the countertop, doesn’t say another word or try to make you tea despite your earlier statement.

you start the kettle with the push of a button, pull the mugs from across the counter in front of you. you pluck two tea bags from the glass jar where they live. you have to open a few cupboards before finding the spoons, but the sugar is right where you think it will be.

“i think knowing that you take sugar in your tea is both the most surprising thing and also somehow completely aligns with who you are,” you reason, pouring the gently boiling water over the tea bags. by the time you finish your sentence, you’ve noticed the enamored look on his face, but you don’t have time to comment on it as he replies.

“that’s because you know me really well,” he says, nodding, loving smile still lingering. you put half of a spoonful of sugar into the cup, stir until it dissolves and then slid it against the countertop to him. he wraps his fingers around the warm cup, brings it to his lips, blows on it gently as if that’s going to do anything at all, and then takes the smallest sip. “perfect.”

you lean against the edge of the counter, holding the mug in your hands, waiting for the air to cool down the steaming beverage. “i think i’d be really okay with ending every single day of my life just like this,” you admit. if his eyes go wide or he recoils even the smallest percentage, you’ll blame it on the eventful day and the exhaustion that’s quickly overcoming you, but they don’t. his features soften, hand reaches across the counter to rub the back of your hand.

“me too,” he reciprocates. “you’ll have to stay over more often,” he doubles down.

“what?” you ask, taking a sip of your tea. you can feel the warmth hit your stomach. “have dinner ready for you when you come home and spend your nights off intertwined on the couch?” everything that you’re saying is getting closer and closer to practically asking to move in, but osamu doesn’t seem to mind.

“exactly that,” he murmurs, “you’ll have to see if you like my bed first, though, before you resign yourself to coming over every night.”

“every night?” you ask, cheeky smile the only form of teasing that you’re giving right now, “maybe we should go check it out then.” you take one more sip of your tea and then set the cup down on the counter. osamu doesn’t even do that, pulls you away from behind the counter and down the hall.

you climb into his bed, under his covers without asking or another mention. osamu joins you, climbing into the other side, and the two of you don’t waste a single second, curling up against each other, limbs lazily tangling, pressing up against one another as close as you possibly can.

“the first time we’re in a bed together and we’re not even having sex,” he says, softly, reaching over and turning off his bedside light. it takes a few moments for your eyes to get adjusted, to make out the shapes of his face in the dark.

“crazy, right?” you ask, smiling as you snuggling into his chest impossibly closer.

“i like this though,” he admits, traces his fingers up and down your arms, “just being in bed with you, falling asleep with you, means i get to wake up with you.”

you hum at his voice, soft and deep, and the darkness looks the same as it does with shut eyes, but you’re trying your best to not let the sleep take you that fast. “can you keep me awake?” you ask.

“you’re literally falling asleep as we speak,” he says, your eyelids fluttering shut as if to make a point. you shake your head, but you don’t say anything else. “why do you want me to keep you awake, babygirl?”

“cause i wanna be in this moment a little while longer,” you reason, breath taking over your voice as the darkness and warmth pull you into a comforting hug.

“we’ll have plenty of time for moments like this later,” he says, kissing the top of your head. “plenty of time, so go to sleep, angel.”

you’re not even embarrassed at how quickly you listen to him.

/\ /\ /\

if last night wasn’t enough to convince you that you were exactly where you needed to be for the rest of your life, waking up in osamu’s arms definitely was. they’re strong around you, wrapped tightly around your waist, nose nuzzled into the back of your neck, legs intertwined with yours.

you’re incredibly surprised that you’ve woken up first, but the second that you start to stir, osamu’s grip loosens, and his head peaks over your shoulder and he places a small kiss on your cheek. “mornin’,” he says, raspy as he talks off the sleep.

you turn in his arms, laying flat on your back so you can look at him directly. “good morning,” you say back, lifting your head to kiss him. “very good morning,” you say again.

“cute,” he murmurs against your lips, “stupidly cute.” you reach your arms up, draping them over his neck loosely to pull him down into you. “do you want breakfast or something?” he asks.

you shake your head, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “no,” you say, “well, maybe later? i think right now i just want, y’know, this.” you gesture with a small nod not really towards anything in particular, just to the situation.

he laughs, kissing the side of your face, “alright, this it is.”

you don’t say much else. nor does he. it’s all stolen kisses and roaming touches and silent exchanges. you don’t feel the need to talk, don’t have much to say, you’re communicating just fine without them.

every touch is getting needier, every kiss is getting longer, sloppier, more desperate, and the only thing that you’ve been able to think about for the last hour is all of the promises that have been made to you about after date things.

it doesn’t help that he’s on top of you now, tops of his thighs resting between your legs, hands on either side of your waist just looking at you like that. the first thing you say in over an hour is, “what, samu?”

he laughs, pushing his fingertips up your body, under the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and up until your entire stomach is exposed. “god, you’re so hot,” he says, grabbing onto your waist to pull you closer to him.

“samu,” you whine.

“what, doll? it’s true,” he says, pushing your shirt up even further now, tits on display so pretty that you can feel him begin to grow hard against your inner thigh. “so pretty,” he murmurs. he tugs your shirt off, tosses it to the side with no regard for the tidiness of his room anymore.

you’ve really never been this exposed before when you’ve had sex with osamu, always an article of clothes on, but now the only thing stopping you from being completely naked is the thin fabric of your panties and osamu’s fingers are already hooked in the waistband. you don’t protest as he drags them down your thighs, picks up your legs and rests them on his shoulder as he does.

he presses a kiss into the side of your leg, slowly drops them back around him. your stomach is in knots, can barely breathe with the way that he’s looking at you, eyes traveling down your body so slowly that you can see each point that they linger a second longer.

“fuck, you look good,” osamu says, leaning down to kiss your shoulders, your collarbones, your chest.

“shut up,” you murmur, fingers threading into his hair, scratching against the back of his head as he scrapes his teeth against your sensitive skin.

“no, i’m serious,” he says, leaning back, “you’re so fucking pretty, gorgeous actually.”

“ew, shut up,” you push him away jokingly, gently, “or i’m not going to let you fuck me unless we’re fully clothed ever again,” you joke.

he laughs against your neck, breath and vibrations tickling the wet skin. every single kiss feels personal, hand-crafted and perfectly thought of just for you. the placement is direct and purposeful and you can feel his love in every single one.

“god, i’m going to take my time with you,” he says, pulling away again. you can feel the blush blooming under your skin, warming up every inch of you, igniting fires in your stomach.

“first time that we have a lot of it,” you joke, coaxing him back up to your lips. “and first time that i don’t have to be situated on a sink or the floor.”

“so you’ll be perfectly comfortable,” he says, kisses trailing between your tits and down your stomach, “while i eat you all morning long.”

“samu,” you say, crook of your elbow rising up to your face to hide behind it. he reaches up, pulls it away from your face.

“don’t hide from me, doll, look so cute like that,” he says, laying between your thighs, pushing them open with familiar hands. you give in to the gentle pressure so easily that you swear you hear the faintest laugh coming from Osamu, but the light kisses peppering your thighs that follow gain your focus instantly.

it should feel agonizing, the way he takes his time dragging his lips across every part of the skin between your legs, kissing and biting lightly. but the longer he’s there the more laughter flutters through your chest, the more your cheeks flush, the more loved you feel. you bring your hands to his face as he rests his head against your knee cupping one under his jaw and using the other to push his hair back a little.

“make me feel so pretty, samu,” you mumble. he makes no attempt to answer, just holds your gaze with loving eyes as he brings himself to ghost near your already soaked pussy, the feeling his breath overwhelming any of your other senses.

“just want you to see yourself through my eyes, princess.” the end of his sentence comes with a long, slow swipe of his tongue against your hyper sensitive clit and it feels good to finally not worry about who can hear you.

you dig your head back into the pillow, hair already a mess after a perfectly restful night’s sleep. you can feel his eyes burning into you, even if you can’t see them, even if your focus is really anywhere but the agonizing feather-like touches between your legs.

it’s a shame, you think, but only for a moment, that his mouth is so busy that you can’t hear him call you pretty names or poke fun at you for whining so much. only for a moment.

if there’s one thing that osamu cannot be called it’s all-or-nothing. osamu doesn’t do all-or-nothing; he does slowly, consistently, comfortably, and then all. this is no exception. he runs his tongue between your puffy lips, smears your juices all over your sensitive pussy with the tip, and then he eats you- not like a man-starved, but like a man who he gets to indulge in his favorite dessert.

his fingertips are digging into the fat of your hips, palms pressing to keep you in place, to keep you from squirming, and it’s working. he lets you scratch your nails into his hair, down the back of his neck, resting on the tops of his shoulders. you don’t guide him, don’t buck your hips impatiently, you don’t need to. if he isn’t lapping exactly where you want him to, you know he will be soon, you know it’s deliberate, you know that he knows what’s best for you even if you have to wait for it.

you’re not sure you know how many times you come on his tongue, how many are attributed to just his tongue and how many are attributed to the noises that he’s making, the grunts that are coming from his throat, the mumbled praises that he’s whispering against your soaked folds, the squeaking of the mattress from the soft grinding that he’s doing against the blankets.

without a watch, you’d have claimed you were there for hours, all morning, just like he said. you’re not sure if he would’ve stopped either, if you hadn’t sat up on your forearm, somehow more out of breath than he was, and tugged on his hair. “samu, baby,” you whine.

you can’t help it, the even-more-breathless-breathlessness that hits you when he looks into your eyes, bottom of his face soaked with you, licks his lips, wipes the rest of it with his palm, and crawls slowly up to meet you. he kisses you hard, as hard as you’ll let him, and then he kisses you again, and then he kisses your cheek, and then your jaw, then your neck, mumbles against your skin, “what do you want now, bunny?” he’ll give you anything. “i’ll give you anything.” you know that he will.

the opportunities are endless. the world is your oyster. anything that you ask for, he will give you, and it will be wrapped with neat paper and a pretty bow with a handwritten note several miles long. you swallow, eyes searching his face for nothing in particular, just because he’s pretty and because he’s yours.

“i don’t think i have anything to ask for, because you’re already mine,” you whisper.

his face lights up, skin hot and flushed on the highs of his cheeks and traveling down his neck and chest. for a second it looks like he short-circuits, like you’ve broken him just by telling him the truth, and then, in a second, the world catches back up to him.

he shakes his head slowly and then you’re on top of him, sat with both legs on either sides of his, strong hands steadying you before you can even clock that you need to be steadied. “you’re really asking for it, huh?” he asks, and now you’re feeling warm.

“i- what are you talking about, samu,” you say, eyebrows furrowed. you can feel his hips- and yourself- lift off the bed as the fabric between the backs of your thighs and the tops of his is replaced with soft skin. you yelp softly as you’re lowered back down, hands on your inner thighs pushing you back just enough for his cock to rest between them.

you’re soaking wet, making a mess between your lips and on the insides of your legs and now all over his hard cock, slowly pushing through your pressed together thighs. he brings his hips off the bed, steady thrusts rocking the mattress ever so slightly, both his hands squeezing the outsides of your thighs. he clicks his tongue, “saying shit like that, angel, you know i’m not going to be able to help myself.”

“samu,” you repeat, breathless. “what ar-.”

he cuts you off, sliding his thumb from the tip of his cock to the base, his leaking head slipping between your messy lips until it’s teasing your hole. “sound so in love with me, baby, need to fucking feel you around me so fucking bad right now,” he breathes, sharp inhale punctuating his sentence as he pulls you by your hips until you’re fully seated on his cock.

you don’t know if the warmth is coming from the blush or touch of his skin or the desire that’s burning in your core, but it’s there, and before you can even fully register what he’s saying, he’s honest-to-god whimpering, spouting more lovey bullshit, “god, it’s like falling in love with you made you fit even more perfectly around me.” he lifts you slightly, fingers digging into your hips as he lets you slowly fall back down onto his cock.

he tilts his head into the pillow, but immediately picks it back up, locking eyes with you before letting his gaze fall down your body, like he can’t believe you really exist, like he can’t believe he let himself relax into a position where he couldn’t see you at all times, like he “can’t believe you’re fucking real,” he grunts, “and that you’re all fucking mine.”

“osamu, if you don’t knock it off,” you say. you’re only half-joking. you’re not sure that you could take him talking to you like this for much longer. you feel so full, every part of you feels so full. you slide your hands down his chest, palm against his rapidly beating heart acting as leverage as you start moving in time with him.

you close your eyes, partially to focus on the parts of you that are on fire right now, and partially so that you don’t have to keep looking at how much osamu is looking at you. he can’t keep his hands off of you, can’t keep his eyes off of you.

“can’t help it, pretty, not when i get to savor it like this,” he says, brings his chest up and wraps his arms around your back, holding you securely to him. he kisses the side of your face, whispers in your ear, “not when i finally get to fuck you in my bed and tell you that i love you and see you- all of you.”

“are you trying to make me cry or something?” you ask, placing both of your hands on either side of his face, forcing his attention on just your eyes and the hints of shyness strewn all over your face.

a slight smirk is followed by raised eyebrows and a tiny kiss to the temple. osamu flips you over, lying you gently on your back while you’re still fully encompassing him. “that can be arranged, puppy,” he says, kissing down your neck, nipping at your shoulders and chest. he slams his hips into you and you can’t help the pleasured, high-pitched moan that comes as a result. in fact, you can’t help the ones that come one after another after another as he keeps snapping his hips, insides of your thighs growing raw from the impact.

you’re babbling at this point, a symphony of half-finished words and tiny whimpers, and when a single tear breaks free of your blurred waterline, osamu can’t hold back. “fuck, holy fuck, babygirl, you sound so good, don’t stop, princess, keep making those cute fucking noises, fuck, sound so good.”

you shake your head no and hope that he understands what it means, that you won’t stop as long as he doesn’t. you’ll cry and scream and make cute little noises for him forever if he never pulls out of you.

you’ve always known that fucking in bathrooms has been disadvantageous, you just couldn’t pinpoint it, not when it always felt so good anyway. you never thought the space bothered you or the hard, cold various materials of sinks or the fact that people were often only a door away; you never thought any of that mattered until now, now when you can cry for him and feel the softness of the blankets beneath you and the plushness of the pillow behind your head.

“baby,” you cry, “i’m- you’re gonna- fuck, i love you so much. i’m-.” you throw your head back, you can’t finish your half-constructed sentence before osamu is fucking you faster, harder, wrapping an arm around your lower back and lifting you up the slightest bit to angle you perfectly. your hand moves on instinct, reaches down between your legs and circles your throbbing clit for only a second before you’re squirting all over him, a release of pressure drenching him as you gasp for air, drawing in enough breath to cry out his name.

you place your hand on his lower abs, eyes closing softly to center yourself. you could’ve passed out right here, slept for a million years, and you’re not sure you would’ve completely recovered. your body is shaking, throat is sore, and when you open your eyes, osamu is looking at you with such adoration and awe that you’re certain you’ve missed something.

“the first time we’re not in a fucking bathroom and you fucking make me squirt,” you mumble, shaking your head, “what are we going to do with you?” you ask, removing your hand from his stomach, silently letting him know you’ve recovered enough for him to keep going.

“i don’t care,” he says, kissing your jaw, “i don’t care what you do with me for the rest of my life, that was the most amazing thing i’ve ever seen.”

“you made a mess,” you tease.

“i made a mess?” he asks.

you nod.

he breathes a laugh before accepting responsibility, “i made a mess,” he confirms.

“so you’ve gotta do one thing for me,” you say, circling your hips, matching his lazy thrusts as you wrap your arms around his neck.

“anything,” he says. and you know that he means it.

you use your loose grip around his neck to coax him closer to you, your lips now pressed against his ear. “need you to make a mess inside of me, samu, please,” you say, low enough to send shivers down his spine from the tone alone. his hips stutter. he wants to regain composure, to not give in to blowing his load deep inside of you just from you saying his name and asking him nicely, he really wants to savor it and last a little bit longer.

but you’re so wet. you’re drenched, but you’re still so tight and sucking him in so nicely, perfectly sculpted for him, gummy walls still clenching and fluttering from your orgasm, and you kiss the skin right below his ear and you say, “please, i’ve been waiting for it ever since i fucking met you, please, don’t make me wait any longer.”

and he can’t.

he wouldn’t.

he doesn’t.

he snaps his hips forwards, pressing himself flush against the insides of your thighs and releases deep inside of you. you can feel his cock pulse with each stream, feel yourself getting fuller and fuller and fuller with each throb and accompanying grunt. you can’t get enough. you don’t want it to ever stop, but it does. he keeps himself deep inside of you for a moment, not wanting to lose the feeling just as much as you don’t.

when he starts to get soft, he pulls out, come dripping out of your hole and onto the blankets below just adding to the mess the two of you have created in the span of a few hours. he doesn’t exactly know where to go, what to do. the two of you could’ve passed out just like this, intertwined together and had the most incredible sleep of your entire life, if it weren’t for the huge mess beneath you.

“what now?” you mumble, not moving.

you feel osamu flop next to you. you’re not sure if he’s avoided the mess or if he’s embraced it. part of you wants to stand up and apologize and start throwing his bedspread in the washer, but that part of you isn’t winning, not today. if that part of osamu exists, it’s not winning either. he wraps his arms around your waist, rests his head on your chest, pulls you into him.

“are we just going to lay in this?” you say, laughing. it sounds ridiculous coming out of your mouth, but you’re sure it wouldn’t take much convincing for you to not have to move from this very spot. osamu doesn’t answer you, but you feel him unwrap from your body and then get off the bed. you go to sit up, but you don’t make it that far, opening your eyes as osamu pulls the blankets out from under you and throws them in a heap in the corner of his tidy room. he opens the closet door and comes back with a spare, small, but clean blanket.

he reassumes his position on the now-much-more-acceptable bed, throwing the blanket overtop of you and him and cuddling into your side. “is that better?” he asks, but he doesn’t really expect a response. your small smile and content hum is all he needs.

after only a few moments, recuperated by a clean blanket and strong arms, your body is ready to move onto the next thing, ready to get up and start making breakfast or start kissing him again or start getting ready for work despite how long you have until your shift. your skin is antsy, pulse is quickening. there are a trillion things in your head that you want to do with osamu, plenty of dull activities that seem like they’ll be much better with him by your side. you want to see them. you want to do them.

osamu shifts and pulls you into his chest, kisses the top of your head. “love you, angel,” he murmurs into your hair. “love you so much,” he says again. you feel calmer now, the most at ease you’ve ever been, because you know that there’ll be time for all of that, plenty of time, hours and hours of time to do all of the things that you want to do with osamu, more time than you know what to do with, you just know it.

for now, all you have to do is lay here, in bed, surrounded by warmth in more ways that you thought were possible, maybe let sleep take you again or stay awake in these passing moments, it doesn’t really matter. your exhale is steady, matches with his. you close your eyes and you can see this moment next week and next month and three years from now.

you look happy there.

you look really happy there.

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tori talks more: i do not know if i'll be around to write more to be honest with you. like i probably will at some point, but who knows. maybe when the new movie comes out. maybe ill do a jjk pivot bc i just finished it. feel free to scream in my inbox abt it or this or whatever. ily all and im so glad i could finally finish this. <3 :)

#osamu x reader #osamu smut #hq smut #hq x reader #osamu x reader smut #hq x reader smut #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x reader #haiykuu x reader smut #miya osamu x reader smut #osamu x reader fluff #osamu fluff #osamu fic #hq fic #toriwritesshit #abd update!

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ladykailitha · 2 months

Text

Not All That Glitters is Gold Part 8

Hello! This story is just cruising on through. I'm about four chapters ahead now and I know it's weird to say with that much story left, I do feel like it's coming to a close.

Today we have Robin taking a bit of initiative regarding Steve's date to the Gala, Steve getting some fun jobs and Chrissy being cute.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @redfreckledwolf @emly03 @lingeringmirth

****

Robin arrived bright and early the next morning to find two very hungover omegas passed out Steve’s sofa, a bucket of mostly eaten glob of goo that was once ice cream, two wine glasses and three empty bottles of wine.

She looked down at the two of them and wondered if this was a pity party or a celebration, it really could have gone either way. She tidied everything away and got water and painkillers for Steve and Chrissy when they woke up.

She settled in a nearby armchair and went through Steve’s requests for his services. She quickly dismissed those on his black list. There were always those that thought the rules didn’t apply to them. She noted the new addition that Troy made and went through his notes on the matter. They were thorough and raised both eyebrows.

Robin knew that the omega escorts that were the cream of the Starcourt crop didn’t like Troy because he came off as a creep, but other handlers loved him. Because Troy was meticulous in his notes. Every person that spared more than a passing glance to Steve got a note. Because that was another thing that set Troy apart from other handlers.

He didn’t believe social events were hands off. Even Robin tended to spend it in the car with Xander unless it was a new client. But not Troy. He got dressed up and stayed on hand in case his omega needed to get out.

But that intensity was why he was only a substitute handler. Starcourt had yet to find an omega that could stand it for long periods of time.

Troy had catalogued every little god damned thing. From the mirco-aggressions from the guests toward the band, the meet-cute of the century, the posturing and bullying from the senator afterwards. He noted that he almost interfered twice.

Once when the alpha bullied his way to Steve’s side when he was talking to the drummer. An alpha who had on his arm a pretty male omega who was obviously his date.

The other was when Lombard had pulled Steve away from talking to Joyce Hopper, another congressman’s bondmate.

But each time, Steve was able to calm the raging alpha, so Troy stayed his hand. But Robin could tell from his notes it was a near thing both times.

Robin licked her lips slowly. She almost wanted to put Troy on Steve for his next event.

She didn’t like how everyone looked down on both Steve and the band. Both were gross separately, but together it raised some serious red flags.

She made a note to talk to Steve about it. His instincts were really good.

She then pulled up Steve’s job requests and wasn’t surprised to see that Senator Lombard was on it. She quickly declined it and sent of the usual black orchids and cutting note.

Usually Steve dictated the note, but Robin didn’t want him pulled back into black hole that was this asshole senator. Plus there was the fact that Steve had put him on the pre-check list and Robin had overridden that.

Succinctly put she sent:

I’m no one’s property.

S. Harrington

She went through the list looking for other black listed members to fob off their requests back to management where they would find someone else or black list them from the company all together.

She went back to her list and gasped and giggled when she saw not one, not two, but three requests that would make Steve giddy as fuck.

She did frown a little at the final request. She would have call him and work out all the specifics because it could cause a lot of problems if mishandled.

Steve would want to do it regardless, if Troy’s notes were anything to go by, but it was Robin’s job to make sure everything was fun for all those involved.

She called the number.

“Hello?” the sleep rough voice answered.

“Hello,” Robin said brightly. “I’m sorry if I woke you, but I’m Robin Buckley, Steve Harrington’s handler.”

She suppressed a grin as she heard him scramble to get up. He cleared his throat.

“Um, yeah,” he mumbled. “How can I help you?”

“Yes,” Robin said. “I saw you had some particular requests for your rut servicing and I wanted to ask some questions about that.”

“Oh!” he said with a grin. “I would be happy to answer any questions you have.”

They spoke for almost twenty minutes but at the end of it, Robin signed off on all three requests.

She was adding them to Steve’s schedule when the man of the hour raised his head from the sofa and blinked at her, sleep rumpled and cute.

Steve mumbled his good morning before padding over to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. Once he was sufficiently caffeinated he sat back down on the sofa, careful not jostle the still sleeping Chrissy.

“You two look like you had lots of fun,” Robin said with a big grin.

Steve flipped her off.

Chrissy raised her head and blinked bleary eyed at Robin. When her vision cleared, she squeaked and ran for the bathroom.

Robin raised an eyebrow, but Steve just shrugged. He wasn’t going to tell her shit about the omega’s crush on her.

“Troy left some pretty hair-raising notes about last night,” Robin said wagging her eyebrows, “by the way.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah? What about?”

“A hot rockstar alpha got the ultra professional Steve Harrington to scent in a room full of the elite on heavy scent blockers no less.”

Steve blushed. “The only thing I can think of is that I must have sweated straight through it.”

Robin cocked her head. “Or he was just that hot.”

He took a deep sip of his coffee and looked away.

“Which is why,” she said with a feral grin, “you’ll be happy to note that Eddie Munson has requested you three times for three separate events and three separate jobs.”

Steve straightened up. “There is no way.”

Robin wagged her eyebrows again.

“What did he want?” Steve asked, aiming for nonchalant and missing it by a mile.

Robin pulled out her tablet. “The first one is for next Friday. He wants to do a roleplay. One of your favorites, in fact.”

Steve was suddenly on the other side of the sofa, leaning into her space.

She laughed out loud. “Not the BDSM one, you animal.”

“As if!” Steve huffed swatting at her playfully.

“The meet-cute in crowded hotel bar that leads to sex,” Robin clarified.

Steve gasped, clasping his hands to his chest dramatically. “I haven’t done one of those in so long!”

“And he wants you to wear the dress from last night,” she said with a sly grin. She read the note directly from her tablet. “‘I want to see if the dress drops to floor the way you said it does.’ You want to explain that one to me?”

He blushed to the tips of his ears. “He was asking if it was hard to get in and out of.”

Robin cackled. “You sly dog. No wonder you burst through your scent blockers with a line like that one.”

Steve coughed and looked away. “What’s next?”

“The Grammy’s,” she said, looking back at her tablet. “He wants you to wear something black and slinky. Your choice on suit or dress.”

He raised his eyebrows at that one. Most of the time alphas wanted their dates to be wearing dresses to an event like the Grammy’s.

Instantly he had two outfits enter his head. The first was a short sheath dress with strappy heels and minimal jewelry. The second was tight leather pants, a black suit coat with a mess top underneath and ‘fuck me’ killer heels.

He licked his lips thoughtfully. He would send both to Eddie to see which one he’d prefer.

“Sounds like fun,” Steve said honestly with a small smile.

Robin smiled back. “The last one is a rut servicing with a couple of strange stipulations.”

Steve cocked his head to the side. “Like what?”

“He wants you to go on birth control, for starters,” she said.

Steve frowned. It wasn’t that unusual of a request. There had been more than a few clients who didn’t believe that all the omegas were infertile and wanted extra protections.

“And no barebacking,” she added with a wince.

“Now that’s just insulting,” Steve huffed. “I can’t pup. It’s an actual thing.”

Robin chewed on her bottom lip. “Look, I wouldn’t have agreed to it if I thought he was being an ass about it. You know I wouldn’t.”

He let out a long shuddering breath. “Did he say why?”

She nodded. “I even looked it up and there was this whole thing. But the TL;dr is that he shared a rut with a non-escort omega who said they were infertile and they weren’t. The female omega tried to get him on the hook for child support, but when they did a paternity test, it wasn’t his. So the court ruled in favor of Eddie, but it was a near thing.”

It was Steve’s turn to wince. Yeah, all right. He had to admit that if he had had that happen to him, he’d be triply sure too.

“Fine.”

“There are a couple other things I just need to go over with you,” she said, “and then you’re all good to go.”

Steve nodded.

“He wants to pay for you to play at being his boyfriend until after the rut servicing,” Robin said.

Steve’s eyebrows went up. “And management is okay with that?”

He had done the boyfriend thing a few times but never with someone as high profile as Eddie Munson.

“According to the notes on the request his new management and Starcourt went over all the details and it’s going to be great publicity for both the band and us.”

Steve frowned, rearing back his head in confusion. “New management? What happened to his old management?”

“Do you remember the creepy gang bang?” Robins asked with a blush.

Steve’s frown deepened. “Yeah, of course. The band was pissed and fired their management...” he said trailing off. “Holy shit!”

She grimaced. “Yeah. Their new manager is Benny Hammond. I can’t imagine what dealing with the other guy would have been like.”

They went over the rest of the stipulations and by the time they were done, Chrissy poked her head out of the bathroom. “Hey, Steve can I borrow some clothes? I got ice cream all down the one side. Somehow.”

Steve laughed. “Sure thing. You know the drawer to pick from. You take from anywhere else and I will hunt you down.”

Chrissy rolled her eyes. “I know, I know. The rest is for clients only. I’ve got the same set up in my place, you know.”

He just grinned at her.

She huffed and dashed to Steve’s bedroom with just a towel wrapped around her slender form.

He looked over at Robin, who was looking dis-repectively. He threw a pillow at her head and she squawked.

“May I remind you,” he said with a glare, “that you have a girlfriend now?”

Robin sighed. “I know, I know. But you know how I am around hot women, I can’t help but look.”

“I do,” Steve said, “but does Vickie?”

Robin looked down, visibly chastised.

Five minutes later, Chrissy came back out wearing shorts that would have barely covered Steve’s ass, but went down to a respectable length on her and a crop top that hung off one shoulder and again went to her waist.

“It’s really not fair,” Robin said throwing her arms in the air, “how you escorts can look hot in the most basic of clothes. Clothes that would look sloppy on anyone else.”

Steve and Chrissy shared a glance with a grin.

“It’s an art, darling,” Chrissy drawled, tossing her hair back seductively.

Steve giggled.

Chrissy kissed his cheek and waved goodbye to Robin and soon they were alone at last.

“All right,” Robin said, “tell me everything.”

He threw back his head and laughed. “Let me get another cup of coffee, and then I’ll spill the tea.”

“Deal.”

****

Oops! This is the chapter I realized I had Hopper as both a Congressman and management at Starcourt! Sorry about that. Hopper has been changed in the earlier chapter (not on here) to being Powell so that when I post it to AO3, it won't have the continuity error.

Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17

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auteurdelabre · 6 months

Text

Something to Fight For (series)(PART 5)

Word Count: 10.6

Pairing: Dad!Joel Miller x f!reader (no use of y/n, no age or physical descriptions)

Warnings: THERE ARE SEXUAL THEMES IN THIS CHAPTER.

A/N: This is part of a series (lots of angst, pining and smut ahead) Also despite Sarah's young age Joel is early 40's in this because slightly grey babygirl DILF Joel is the best Joel.

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You’ve been staring at your cellphone for the last hour.

It’s Thursday morning, a full two days since Joel thrust flowers at you and walked off. Two days since Maria put them in a vase and observed that perhaps she wouldn’t kick Joel’s ass. Two days since you’d been to the office or seen James with his obvious hostility towards Joel.

You go from staring at your phone to staring at the flowers. The colorful arrangement sits on your coffee table looking so cheerful. You catch yourself smiling at it more often than not. You touch one of the petals, feeling its velvet softness before you punch in the numbers and raise the phone to your ear. It buzzes and by the fourth ring your anxiety is off the charts and you go to end the call when you hear it connect.

“Hello?”

The sound of Joel’s husky voice makes you feel apprehensive.

You almost can't speak for a moment, feeling tongue tied. But then you clear your throat and force the words out.

"Hey it’s me. Just calling to see what time you wanted me over tomorrow night?"

You bite your lip harshly, your eyes shutting tightly as you wait for his response. There's a lengthy pause and you panic wondering if you'd misread signals. Weren't you going back to normal after the whole flower thing? Finally you hear Joel clear his throat.

"I wasn't sure if you still wanted to."

"Of course I do," you assure. "As long as Sarah still thinks I'm the coolest adult in the world."

"I think she might think you're the coolest person of any age," Joel says and you think you hear admiration in his tone.

"What can I say, the kid has taste," you say affecting a supercilious voice. "Can't say she takes after her old man in that regard but..."

You hear Joel chuckle lightly and smile. Things are back to the way they have been. Good. But there’s still one thing you need to acknowledge, no matter how awkward it is.

“I also wanted to call to say I appreciated the flowers,” you say after a beat. “And the apology.”

You can hear Joel holding his breath.

"Never been that great with words,” he finally says in a voice pitched low. "Not always sure how to handle givin’ bad news. Apparently my delivery could use some work."

“Yeah, well, we can’t all be perfect like me,” you tell him breezily before remembering one additional detail. “Oh, and I’m calling you from my cell, so you can save the number on yours. That way you don’t have to go through the office.”

You hear a pause and some tapping.

“Got it.”

“You can text if it’s easier.”

“It’s not.”

You laugh at his solemn tone musing that you can’t really picture Joel Miller texting at all.

///

"Any chance you have a bunch of blueberries hanging around?"

A few hours later you're on Frank and Bill's front stoop wearing Maria's apron and a nervous smile. Maria is no better than you with baking so you're hoping your neighbors might be able to lend a hand with your current predicament.

"Not sure." Frank looks you over, amusement in his eyes. "But come in and we'll look."

You pad in after him with your bowl like a lost puppy. You feel like one, you'd thought making cupcakes to decorate would be fun but your first test batch tasted like hot garbage. Maria had choked one down before telling you to just get some at the grocery store.

"I promised Sarah I'd bring cupcakes for us to decorate on tomorrow," you explain as Frank and you walk into the kitchen.

Bill is sitting at the table with the newspaper sat in front of him. He's sipping coffee from an ornate looking teacup as he slants a frown at you as you continue explaining to Frank.

"She really wants blueberry ones and no one carries any."

"They're out of season," Bill mumbles. You turn to face him, looking disappointed.

"Hey Bill. Really? Fuck."

The empty bowl hangs loosely from your disappointed grasp. You don’t notice when Frank shoots a meaningful look at Bill over your head that the other man groans at. Bill pushes himself to a stand, as if being helpful causes him extreme physical exertion.

"We have some frozen."

Your smile is back on your face immediately. "Is there any way I could borrow a cup? Please?"

Bill is in a surprisingly good mood (a good mood for Bill is a tepid one for most others) because he agrees. He goes to the deep freeze in the garage and returns with your bowl overflowing with plump little frozen berries.

"Anything else you need?" Frank asks kindly as you profusely thank them both.

"No, I think I have everything else.” You lift your eyes skyward as you rattle off the ingredients you bought. "Flour, butter, salt, eggs, baking soda, vanilla."

"Baking powder," Bill interrupts.

"Huh?"

"Baking powder, not baking soda," Bill corrects.

"Baking soda, baking powder, it's the same thing right? Besides the baking soda was cheaper," you say distracted. "Anyway, thank you so much for the blueberries. Fingers crossed this batch works out!"

Frank and Bill exchange a concerned look and then Bill is taking the bowl back from you and telling you to follow him back into the kitchen before you waste his berries.

It turns out baking soda and baking powder are not interchangeable. You learn this working alongside Bill who is watching you measure his ingredients into a large bowl. You think this may have contributed to your first crap batch.

Frank excuses himself to work on his paintings with a wry smile on his face as he watches the two of you get to work.

It's funny because while Bill is gruff at the best of times, right now he's instructive and patient. He does snap a bit when you drop eggshell into the batter, but his gloom passes quickly.

"You're going to a lot of trouble for this kid," he says as you begin to stir in the berries. "Are you sweet on her dad or something? Trying to get the kid to like you so you'll get in his good books?"

"No," you laugh, your cheeks pinking under Bills quirked brow. "I just genuinely just like her. I'm actually babysitting her tomorrow so the dad can go on a date."

Bill gives a hummed response before reminding you to stir faster and with the bowl on an angle to get rid of clumps. You do as he says, observing when things start to smooth in the bowl. Its almost fun doing this, seeing the progress you make with Bill’s instruction.

Later you enjoy pouring the batter into the paper cups in the pan, noting that they already look so much better than your attempt did at this stage.

"Frank told me about the trivia nonsense."

Bill murmurs this out of nowhere as you put the pan of cupcakes into the oven and set the timer. You feel awkward, unsure of how Bill feels about everything you did. He’s more private than Frank and less inviting to others’ opinions. You chance a look at him to see his face typically unreadable.

"It was nice of you to think of us, like that." His hands are in his jeans pockets and he's looking at the oven, not at you, but you can feel how genuine that statement from Bill is.

You don't want to press it, don't want to throw your arms around him like you would with Frank. Instead you cross your arms over your chest and lean back against the counter next to Bill.

"I can't imagine having the world hate me for loving someone," you mutter shaking your head. "Fucking insane.”

You keep your eyes on the oven because you're worried if you look at Bill you might cry.

You feel as Bill's meaty hand comes out of nowhere to squeeze your shoulder gently, lifting just as quick. Then he's gone from you, remarking that he has extra cookies in the basement, his special stash, and that Sarah will probably like them as a topping for her cupcakes.

Frank enters just in time to see this exchange but says nothing as his husband passes him in the hall. Frank's eyes are wet when you look at him.

"Fuck, I wish I'd met him sooner."

"Eight years is a long time to be together," you start but Frank is shaking his head.

"Could've been fifteen if we both had just admitted how we felt about each other, instead of fighting it," Frank shakes his head slowly, going to refill his coffee cup. "Just think, eight years wasted because we were so scared of what everyone else would think."

You stare at Frank for a moment, watching as he pours cream into his coffee, stirring thoughtfully.

"Wish we'd had kids together."

"You still can. You're not that old, Frank."

"Even if we were twenty five and rich you think they're gonna give a baby to two queers? Here?" Frank shakes his head dejected. "Not a chance."

You say nothing because you know that what Frank is saying is true. Your heart aches for him because you know that he and Frank together would be wonderful parents.

Frank is looking at the basement door with soft focus.

"I just think he would have made the best dad, you know?"

Strangely enough you do know, because under the gruff exterior of Bill is a heart with so much love for those he chooses to share it with.

"He can be my dad if he wants," you joke lightly. You're surprised when a knot forms in your throat, cutting the laugh off abruptly.

Frank laughs sweetly at this offer before going back to his office and his sketches.

You stand looking after him for a long while, thinking how insidious a thing like wasted time can be.

////

You smile at the jack o' lanterns that greet you as you walk up Joel's drive. One of them is large and cut to have a lopsided grin. The other looks like an attempt at a cat with mismatched whiskers.

You're surprised to see Sarah on the other side of the door, on her tiptoes to open it when you knock. She jerks her neck back so she can stare up at you.

"Daddy said I could answer the door," she tells you proudly.

"You did a great job," you say as you pick her up, her tiny frame so light in your arms, before closing the door. "Did you carve those pumpkins out front?"

"Daddy helped."

"But you were the brains behind the operation."

Sarah doesn't seem to know what that means so she gives a tentative nod. You internally remind yourself that she's only five and maybe you need to talk to her like it.

You bring her into the kitchen, dropping her at her chair before pulling the bag from your shoulder.

"Guess what I brought?"

Sarah's eyes are wide as you reach into your bag and pull out the plastic container full of cupcakes iced and ready to be decorated. In a bag you have jimmies, chocolate chips, Bill's mint cookies and a whole host of other toppings that would keep the sugar monsters in business if they were real.

"But not until after dinner," you inform her before she can lunge for the bag. She sighs as if this is inhumane torture but agrees, asking you to color with her until the lasagna in the stove finishes cooking.

You hear creaking overhead, the sound of a tap being turned on and off. You feel strange about seeing Joel after the whole flower thing. Maybe even a bit nervous. With Joel it’s so hard to know where you stand – are you friends? Employer and employee? Acquaintances? Someone he puts up with because of his daughter?

You just don’t know.

"Daddy you look pretty," Sarah tells Joel when he bounds down the stairs minutes later. You glance up from the coloring page she's been drawing on and swallow.

You have to agree with Sarah's assessment. You can now admit to yourself that Joel's an attractive guy. Tonight is no exception. His dark jeans are just the right amount of tight, the flannel is a navy that makes his skin glow and it's unbuttoned enough to showcase his lean neck.

"Thanks, babygirl," Joel says with an embarrassed flush from the attention. He notices the container in your hand and flashes his brows.

"What's that?"

"Cupcakes for decorating," you say proudly opening the container to show off your baking prowess. "And I know they taste good because my neighbor helped me make 'em."

"You made them?"

"Yeah. Want one before you go?"

"Don't want to spoil my appetite," he replies before pausing and smirking. "But maybe you could save me one?"

"Not sure," you tease. “I guess if Sarah says so. These are hers after all."

Sarah agrees, but only with the promise from Joel that she can decorate it however she wants. The two of you go back to coloring, Sarah talking about something she saw at her school. As you do this you watch covertly as Joel begins to walk around the kitchen, his eyes drifting over all the surfaces.

He paces like this for several minutes growing increasingly red in the cheeks. He rubs the back of his neck in irritation.

"Joel?" You ask with a small tug of your lips when he shoots you a questioning look.

"You been looking for your keys for the last ten minutes?"

"Yeah."

"You're holding them."

Joel looks down at his left hand to see your right and swears lightly under his breath.

Thankfully Sarah doesn't hear him.

///

"Can you come over tomorrow?" Sarah asks between bites of her decorated dessert a short while later. "We can have more cupcakes."

"Sorry bug, I got plans." You lick the icing from your fingertips.

"A date?"

You pause. She knows about dating? You consider lying to her but then decide that seems weird.

"Uh, yeah."

"You have a boyfriend?" Sarah looks up at you with interest. Or is it surprise? You try not to feel offended if it's the latter.

"Uh, not really,"' you stutter awkwardly. "Not yet. Nah, uh, I dunno."

You feel flushed. James as your boyfriend? Why hadn't the thought crossed your mind? You're sleeping with him, it seems a natural next step. So why is it such a foreign concept to you? With Paul it had been an immediate concept; you had wanted to be his girlfriend for so long. But with James? It just doesn’t flow like you thought it would.

Sarah is looking up at you quizzically so you decide to change the subject. You go to grab a cloth from beside the sink.

"What are you dressing up as for Halloween?"

Sarah pauses. "I think a puppy.”

The two of you chat more about trick or treating next week and how her friends are having a party. This gets her on the subject of parties and she starts getting excited, her tiny feet kicking out under her chair.

"My birthday is soon. I want a my little pony."

"When is it?"

"March."

You laugh out loud at this. "March is months away."

Sarah doesn't seem to mind this one small oversight and launches into how she wants to ride a horse for her birthday. You start clearing the table, half listening half thinking about how dark it is outside.

"Are you gonna have a party?"

"Yep. With purple cupcakes."

You laugh at this, continuing to wipe up the mess you've both made. Sarah rambles on about birthdays as you continue to half listen. You've had trouble focusing tonight, finding yourself glancing at the wall clock more than you care to admit.

It's Joel.

Well, no, more specifically it's Joel's date. You didn't really get to know much of her at the Bison, but there's something about Joel dating her that makes you feel iffy.

You go over to the cupboard, putting away the clean dishes and realize it’s because if things go well with Joel and his date tonight, she could be a big part of his life. Your potential friendship with Joel will be over before it even starts. No girlfriend is gonna want some random woman hanging out with her boyfriend.

And even worse, this burgeoning mentor ship of sorts that you have with Sarah will be over. Joel will have a girlfriend and they'll probably wanna do stuff together just the three of them.

"I don't have a mommy," Sarah tells you out of nowhere and breaking into your distressing thoughts.

“What?”

You spin around to face her. She's sitting there at the table still eating her cupcake if she hasn't just said something monumental.

"That's not true, Sarah. Everyone has a mommy."

"Not me," Sarah tells you with a voice that verges on pride as she looks up from her cupcake. "I was hatched from an egg like in Horton."

"Hmmm, last time I checked human babies don't come from eggs," you tell her diplomatically.

"Then where's my Mommy?" Sarah asks you in confusion.

You pause to gauge if you should continue this topic of conversation. You think it's not your place but Sarah's eyes are so trusting of you and you feel compelled.

You inhale slowly before coming to sit across from her at the table. Despite the heavy conversation her eyes are on her dessert that she continues to decorate and nibble at. But when you speak her large eyes dart to your face.

"Honestly Sarah, I don't know where your Mom is. I wish I had a better answer than that, but I don't. But I know you had a Mommy. You grew in her tummy like all babies do."

Sarah’s brows raise. "What did she look like?"

"I don't know, I never met her."

Sarah is unimpressed with this. "If I have a Mommy why doesn't she live with me?"

You feel like your fucking this whole conversation up and it's really not your place to begin with.

"Sometimes Mommies and Daddies don't live with their kids."

You don't know what Joel has told Sarah but it's not much.

"Maybe she didn't like me," Sarah says in a heartbreaking observation.

"Impossible," you intercede, launching your torso across the table and cupping both her chubby cheeks in your hands. "You are the coolest kid I've ever met, Sarah. Funny and smart."

Sarah has slumped into herself, her hazel eyes growing glassy with frustration as she pulls back from your hands. You sit back in your chair dejected. Fuck, you never should have said anything. You should have handed it off to Joel when he got back.

But he wouldn’t have done anything about it. He hasn’t for the first five years of Sarah’s life, why would he start now? Your decision is made and you take another steadying breath, internally praying that you’re doing the right thing.

"Sarah. I'm gonna tell you something that not a lot of people know about me," you start, seeing as her attention is back on your face. You add some decorations to her cupcake, trying to keep the mood casual.

"For a long time I didn't see my Daddy," you explain, placing the chocolates artfully along the icing. "He was sick a lot. Really sick. And he didn't live with us. All my friends talked about their Daddy's and I felt really left out because my Daddy wasn't around."

Sarah is staring up at you as if you've sprouted a second head. You suppose for a child it is hard for them to imagine adults as kids.

"Did your Daddy get better?" Sarah asks handing you the package of jimmies to open. "Did he come back?"

"For a bit."

"Will my mommy come back?"

"I don't know," you say wishing you had better answers.

Sarah looks deflated, her tiny fingers absently tapping the counter. You want to pull her into a hug but her body language is closed off and you need to respect that. Words are all you have to comfort her right now.

"I know it sounds weird, but you're really lucky, Sarah. Because your Daddy loves you more than a Mommy and a Daddy put together."

Sarah's eyes are large and luminous at this thought.

"Some parents are really special like that," you explain with a warm smile. "They have so much love inside of them, more love than if they were two whole people. And their kids are the luckiest in the whole world."

You can see Sarah trying to absorb this. She licks the corner of her icing laden mouth, her eyes troubled.

"Did your Mommy and Daddy love you like that?"

You hesitate before diverting her attention to a fresh cupcake that's just begging to be decorated.

///

It's not even eight when you hear Joel's key hit the front door. You hope Sarah is asleep otherwise the sound of her father's arrival will have her sneaking downstairs to see him.

"You're back so early," You say trying to sound casual as he comes into the kitchen where you're finishing cleaning up the mess you and Sarah left on the table.

"Yep."

"Date was just that good, huh?"

Joel is looking everywhere but your face. "Nice enough girl, but not for me."

You watch him shrug off his jacket, forcing yourself not to notice the way his shirt underneath strains over his shoulders.

"What went so wrong so fast?"

"Things got weird once she found out I had a kid," Joel says with grimace. "But even before that, conversation was like pullin' teeth."

"I'm sorry," you say with a frown. But something secret in you tilts pleasurably at the knowledge.

"Don't be," Joel says with a push from the counter. "Reminds me why I stayed single so long. It's a helluva lot cheaper."

"Too true," you giggle. "After Paul I swore off relationships. Too much money, too much work. Too much disappointment."

"Well, you got that James now," Joel says airily. "Hopefully he's not a disappointment."

He lets this hang between you and you find yourself blushing. For some reason you really don't like talking about James with Joel. You see as Joel reaches for his wallet and you feel your face flame at the thought of taking money from him.

“Joel, please. I was here for like, not even two hours. Don’t worry about the paying.”

“I do though,” Joel says with a creased brow. “We talked about this. You paid for all that dessert stuff outta your own pocket.”

“I know,” you nod shallowly. “It just feels weird. I… Let’s just skip it for tonight?”

Joel’s eyes dance along your face before he sighs and replaces his wallet back into his back pocket.

"I better get going," you tell him as the moment becomes awkward.

"I'm callin' you a cab," Joel insists. "It's dark and you takin' the bus can’t happen.”

"No, I - "

"C'mon. Lemme have a win tonight."

"Fine," you agree with a roll of your eyes. You watch him punch in the numbers before going back to the last of the dishes.

You feel Joel come up behind you, tensing when his hand skates along your waist, nudging you gently to the side as he reaches beside you to grab one of the mugs you've washed. It's his favorite one, green and oversized. In his hand though, it looks normal.

"How can you drink coffee this late?" You muse watching him turn on the machine. "You'll be up for hours."

"It's relaxing," Joel insists, watching the machine. "And delicious. Cab’ll be here soon."

You finish the dishes before wiping your hands as Joel pours himself his black coffee.

You were right, he is a coffee purist.

He takes it to the kitchen table, indicating with his head that you should join him. You plate the cupcake Sarah made for him, sliding the plate to him before sitting.

"Thanks. You know, I really appreciate you sittin' Sarah," Joel says around his mug. "I know it was last minute."

You shrug, letting him know without words that you didn’t mind at all. Joel is smiling softly at you over his coffee and a part of you wants to extend the serenity of the moment. But then Sarah's pinched little face from this evening swims into your head.

"Hey, this is none of my business but Sarah's got a lot of questions about her Mom," you say trying to sound detached.

"What?"

You can see Joel's shoulders tensing, his dark eyes narrowing on your face and you feel a moment of apprehension. You start to ramble as you always do when you start panicking.

"I tried my best to uh, well to talk. Like, talk to her about it but you might wanna, ya know, talk to her about it yourself."

Why were ya talkin' to her about it for?!

You can practically hear Joel's voice spitting this at you, the southern drawl more prominent when he's agitated. You're surprised when instead of ordering you out of his house with a roar he just nods sharply and then sighs.

"What exactly did you tell her?"

You swallow nervously. "I told her she wasn't hatched from an egg like Horton, whatever that means."

"Horton Hatches the Egg," Joel muses. "Doctor Seuss. We just read it last night."

"Okay, that makes more sense," you ghost a smile at the realization. "Uh, then I just told her sometimes kids don't have Mommy’s or Daddy’s that live with them but that she was lucky she had, uh, a dad like you that loves her so much."

You don't go into detail there, not finding it necessary to bare your own history with him.

You're still nervous waiting for the other shoe to drop when you confess this. But Joel doesn't look angry, he just looks impossibly tired. His lack of aggression makes you feel that you can ask your next question and you do softly, studying his down turned face.

"Can you tell me about Sarah's mom? Is that okay?"

You see the fingers of Joel's left hand tighten around the mug.

"We met about seven years ago. Uh, at a friend's party." Joel clears his throat, his eyes on his coffee. "Tommy was there actually with his girlfriend at the time. Anyway, I met Michelle, that's her name, uh, ya know and we made Sarah a couple months later."

You're nodding, trying not to press him into sharing more than he feels comfortable with.

"She wasn't planned," Joel says and you can tell her hates to say it, that it feels almost like a betrayal because she's the greatest thing that's ever happened to him. "Michelle didn't want to be a mom. When she found out she was pregnant with Sarah she almost didn't keep her."

Your eyes blow wide at this, at the thought that Sarah may not have been alive in another universe. Joel takes the fork from the plate and gently stabs at his cupcake, making no attempt to eat it.

"I told her it was her decision, even though it killed me. I even drove her to the clinic. I was so happy when she said she'd changed her mind. That she wanted to be a mom," Joel pauses to take a sip of his coffee. "I think she really thought she did at first. Tried her best. She seemed happy when I proposed and we got married just before Sarah got here. I bought us our house. Everything looked good on paper, ya know?"

You nod.

"Some people just aren't meant to be parents, I think," you say, blinking back tears that have little to do with Sarah.

Joel agrees with a sad nod. "When she asked for the divorce I wasn't even surprised. She didn't want anything, just a quickie divorce so she could move away. I think we were both just so tired of fighting for something that never existed."

"How old was Sarah?"

"Eight months."

The thought of a helpless invent Sarah floods your brain and a stab of anger for Michelle hits you hard. It makes your stomach clench angrily.

"Do you ever hate her?"

"I don't," Joel says honestly without pause. "I can't. She made me a dad, she gave me Sarah. I just never wanted Sarah growing up feeling like she wasn't wanted. Photos and talks about her Mom seem like a bad idea. "

"What about when she asks?"

"I tell her the truth. That she doesn't have a Mom because she doesn't. Michelle made that very clear, she wants no part of Sarah's life. No pictures, no phone calls, no nothin’.”

You think of tiny Sarah, perfect, sweet Sarah and how she'll always be missing that connection. It infuriates and devastates you in the same breath.

"Thought it mighta been, uh, that post pardon thing," Joel adds and you don't correct him. "But uh, she went to doctors and shrinks and turns out she wasn't sick in the head, just sick of us."

Despite the neutrality of his tone, that comment feels like a knife to the gut just hearing it. And it’s not even directed at you. More than ever do you understand Joel's inability to bring even a shadow of Michelle's presence into the home.

But you think of Sarah who feels she's been abandoned. Sarah who thinks her mother found her unworthy.

"Can I offer some unsolicited advice? From one childless woman to a father of five years?" You joke, emboldened when Joel gives you a nod. "Talk about Michelle with her. Hang up a photo or something around here. Because right now I think Sarah feels like she's living with you and a ghost."

"I'll think about it," Joel replies after a beat. He goes to say more but you hear the beep of the taxis horn outside his door.

"My ride’s here," you say standing. Joel follows suit, walking with you to the front door.

You turn to thank him for talking about Michelle with you, but the sight of him so near causes the words to get stuck on your tongue. In a rush of affection for what he's shared with you tonight you tilt forward to hug him, just a small squeeze to show him that you appreciated his candor.

However, halfway through the action you become aware of the potential intimacy of such an embrace and you panic. The momentum of your body is still going but you pull your arms back to still the movement.

This results in you smashing your head directly into Joel's sternum before belatedly pulling yourself back with a grimace.

Joel is searching your face with a crease between his brows, undoubtedly trying to decipher why fuck you just head-butted him out of nowhere.

You don't give him a chance to ask. You mutter your soft apology before rushing out the door and into the waiting cab.

////

Working with James is good. He's smart, dedicated to the work, competent and good at what he does.

Sex with James is decent. He's enthusiastic, competent and tries his best. Sort of.

Dating James. . . Is a holy fucking terror.

It’s Saturday night and you don't know what happened between the start of dinner to now but James has been talking non-stop, gesticulating wildly with his hands while he does. He mentions how much he loves spending time with you and how long he wanted to ask you out for. You blush at this, not only for the flattery but for how loud he’s talking.

He’s spilled his wine glass twice at dinner and now as he sweeps you into the movie theatre to see ‘Brains of the Undead’ he’s laughing at something you’ve said that you’re fairly certain wasn’t all that funny. He pays for your tickets, thrusting the stubs into his pocket.

You glance over at him, noting for the first time tonight that he seems off. Too animated, too agitated. It makes you feel uneasy. So you try to divert your attention to the concession stand where you join the long line has formed.

Popcorn is obviously a must, but then there’s the decision of whether or not to get a movie theatre pickle. You read the sign and mention that they can drain the juice from these pickles for you if you ask.

“What about draining my pickle?” he laughs into your ear, loud enough for the elderly women in front of you to turn around.

“James,” you warn, your face warm. Hot. He just laughs back at you, grabbing your ass before tucking you against him. You push back slightly, not enjoying the suffocation that comes with the action.

Why the fuck did I think I could sleep with James and not have it bite me in the ass? How can I dump this guy? I see him every fucking day at work.

“Gotta hit the washroom,” James sniffs before giving your cheek a peck and stalking off. You watch this before turning your attention back to the snacks in front of you. You debate the merit of Peanut M&M's versus Red Vines for a while, moving up the sluggish line before James reappears, his smile wide.

"Decide on what you want?"

You glance up at him, about to ask his opinion on licorice when something gives you pause. It's not the twitch of his nose, although that definitely doesn't help. Its that this close you can see that James' pale eyes are almost obscured by the dilated black of his pupil. He seems to notice your scrutiny because he wipes at his nose with the back of his hand, solidifying your suspicions.

"Are you high right now?" you ask, nerves creeping all along your skin as realization comes over you.

"A little bump," James shrugs as if doing cocaine in the bathroom of a movie theatre is typical.

Immediately you feel your body shut down.

"Right. We're done," you insist without pausing. "I'll call a cab and see you at work next week."

"Excuse me?" James smiling face cracks.

"This isn't going to work," you tell him. "Happy to work with you, but this whole thing with us is over. I'll see you later."

James is rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. "I don't get it. Can't we just -"

You hear your name being screamed out from behind you and you whirl around to see Sarah running at you full speed. Joel is jogging up behind her, his arm outstretched.

"Sarah! No!"

She slams into your hip, holding you around the stomach and squeezing. You drop to one knee as Joel approaches mouthing "sorry" at you. You wave him off as if it’s not a problem before turning your attention back on Sarah who is playing with the ends of your hair.

"What are you doing here, bug?"

"I just saw Bears Big Adventure" Sarah explains to you excitedly. "I had my own popcorn."

Your eyes dart to Joel standing next to her. He's looking between you and Sarah, his gaze unreadable before moving over your head to glare at James. You can feel James standing behind you, undoubtedly staring down at the back of your head.

"Lucky girl!" you grin, your hands at her waist. "Have you been to the movie theatre before?"

"Nope!" Sarah shouts this giggling madly. Her little sneakers bump against the red carpet as she jumps. "I got red vines too."

"That would explain all the jumping," you laugh.

"Movie's starting soon," James murmurs from behind you, brushing the back of your head with his fingertips as if you're still on good terms.

"We're not going to the movie, remember?" you say glaring up at him. "So I'm in no rush."

"Is he your boyfriend?" Sarah whispers pointing up at James who is now staring at Joel with an irritated look.

You can't help but burst out in a wheezy laugh. Imagining “James the coke head Co-worker” as your boyfriend just seems amusing in the most terrible way.

"Why’s that funny?" James asks from above you. Clearly he's heard everything and is not amused. You stand and twirl to face him, making sure to block Sarah from his view. There’s something in James that makes you wary.

"James, please.”

Joel has gathered Sarah into his arms and you feel his hand on your elbow, startling you. You glance over to see his dark eyes fixed on your face.

“You okay?” his voice is so low it rumbles. You almost think that you can feel its vibrations moving through your own body.

“Yeah,” you assure him and he drops his hand from the crook of your arm.

"Good enough to fuck but not date, is that it?" James is puffing his chest out, his eyes narrowed in anger. He motions to Joel. "You fucking this guy too?"

How didn't you see the signs? They were all there. The volatility, the paranoia, the agitation. You think back to the panic he felt when he saw his desk had been drenched. It wasn’t blueprints he was looking for that morning. It was probably his stash he kept at work.

"Cool it," you warn. "There's a kid--"

Joel has taken Sarah and moved her over to the arcade. She's still looking over at you but Joel is shoving quarters into a bright game with loud graphics to distract her.

"What, so you're bad in bed and boring?" James lashes out. You know that it's rejection that brings this ugly out in him but your cheeks still flame. Some of the theatres are emptying into the lobby, filling it up.

"Wow James, that cut me real deep," you reply in the flattest of tones. "Well done. You can go now. Maybe your dealer wants to catch a flick."

You're pulling out your cell to call a cab but James is slapping it out of your hands until it falls on the threadbare red carpet.

"You've never done drugs, is that it?" James scoffs as you pick it up and put it in your purse. "Little Miss Perfect?"

You sigh with a disgusted look in his direction. "James you need to go home. Leave me be. I'll see you at work."

You go to step towards the lobby entrance and leave, but James is following you, his voice loud.

"It's just coke! Coke doesn't hurt anyone! Just because you don't know how to have fu-"

The sentence isn't even out of his mouth and you've backhanded him. You don't mean to. Your body just spins, your arm outstretched and the feeling of his skin hitting your knuckles overcomes you. The sound snaps through the half full lobby and you immediately rear back, terrified at what you've done as people gasp and start to whisper.

"Oh fuck, I'm s-sorry."

James holds his jaw in shock, his nose starting to bleed. But if that's from you or the drugs you're not sure. Then you see the split lip and realize that one's gotta be from you. A zing of panic hits your core as James’ lip curls into an angry sneer.

"Fucking bitch."

He stalks away from you without another word. You watch him leave, your legs shaky. Some patrons are watching you and whispering to one another. Others have gone back to walking to theatres with popcorn and drinks in hand. You back up, thinking of another way to exit the theatre.

"You sure you’re okay?"

Joel is there behind you looking concerned. A large part of you wants to laugh at how horrible this moment is and that he’s there to witness it. But the larger part of you feels that sinking feeling in your gut that tells you to run.

"I'm s-so sorry Sarah saw that. That was so not okay. I'm so -"

Humiliation takes you over and you shoulder past Joel, aiming to find an alternate exit out of the lobby. You don't get far because Joel has gripping you by the elbow again, urging you to stop.

"Hey hey, slow down," he insists. "Take a minute to calm down."

"I don't want Sarah to see me like this," you explain swallowing embarrassed tears. "Just gotta call a cab and -"

"She's playing Mario, she doesn't even know we're here," Joel says motioning to her with his chin.

You look over to see Sarah's attention is indeed focused on a child's game featuring everyone's favorite Italian plumber in the arcade. You give a little sniff, blinking.

"Did she see?"

"No," Joel shakes his head. "But I did. Nice hit."

You shake your head, disgusted with your actions. "Nothing nice about it."

"From where I was standing a grown man was harassing a woman who was trying to get away from him."

"Yeah well my reaction was out of anger, not fear," you reply. "So it doesn't exactly feel defensive."

Joel's face is rarely expressive, but his eyes are. And right now they're open and reading you. The scrutiny makes you curl into yourself.

"How're you getting home?" he asks suddenly.

Your conversation is interrupted by a small Mediterranean man in a white button down and burgundy tie. He's wearing a small gold name tag that says theatre manager and giving you a heavy look.

"Ma'am I'm gonna need you to leave," he says to you in a voice full of reprimand. "We don't allow violence of any kind in here."

Your face blooms a bright humiliated red.

"Of course, I'm so sorry," you say flustered. "I'll totally leave right now. I'm so sorry."

You keep repeating this as you make your way to the front doors, too embarrassed to even say goodbye to Joel and Sarah. The manager walks with you the entire way, explaining that you cannot return for a full month. That’s fine by you, after the humiliating moment back there you never want to return again.

You step into the night air, pulling out your phone to call the cab when you see James in the parking lot sitting in his car. He's waiting for you.

Fuck.

You know that he won’t touch you, won’t chance you screaming or decking him again. But he will try to intimidate you. His mouth is still smeared with red and you feel your skin prickle at the sight.

Just, focus. What’s the cab company again? Or maybe I can just call Maria, but oh fuck is she-

You're taken aback when a large warm hand slides over yours. Joel is there at your side, looking at James in the car and then back at you. Sarah is being held in his free arm, looking at her father tensely. She can tell something is wrong; she's just not quite sure what it is.

"I'm drivin' you," Joel tells you and there is no room for argument.

Gratitude swells your heart and you nod, tightening your hand around Joel's as he leads you to his truck. James watches you leaving and you hear the squeal of his tires as he speeds off.

Joel is buckling Sarah into the back car seat and she fights him only a few seconds. The sugar is running through her system and you can see she's getting sleepy. Then Joel comes around to your side, jiggling with the handle.

“Sticks sometimes,” he says before he gives you a head tilt indicating you should get in the front seat.

Minutes later the truck is rumbling down the street and you're buckled in against the trucks bench seat. Sarah is talking to her toad in soft hushed tones behind you. Joel has put on the radio and some shitty pop is playing through the grainy speakers.

"Had a feeling that guy was trouble," Joel observes after you’ve been driving a short while.

You keep your eyes on the passing darkened landscape out your window. "You might be the only one. Everyone else thought he was great."

"I know his type," Joel murmurs, his face intermittently illuminated by the headlights of passing cars. "Used to bail Tommy out of jail more than once."

You glance over at him, shocked. "Really?"

Joel nods. "Always for getting into scraps. Mouthing off to the wrong guy. Hasn't been that way in a few years but yeah, used to be a much bigger pain in my ass."

You can't imagine the sweet Tommy you know now doing stuff like that. Your head falls back against the seat of the car and you sigh as you replay tonight’s events.

"Still can't believe I hit him," you say miserably. "So stupid."

You're leaned against the truck of the door, so that's why you assume when Joel reaches over, his palm lands on your knee because it's the closest part of your body to him

"You're being really hard on yourself," Joel observes, his thumb stroking the side of your kneecap soothingly.

You immediately bristle at the unexpected contact. His hand is wide and so warm and you stare at it, not quite sure what to make of it. He sees your eyes fixed on his hand and he brings it back to the wheel at if he's been burnt.

"I just worry it was an overreaction," you explain in a rush. "What if he calls the cops?”

“He won’t,” Joel assures. “He’d have to tell them why the fight started and last time I checked cocaine possession isn’t exactly legal.”

You feel your body relax a bit at that. That’s right; James wouldn’t go to the cops. But he now had the very obvious option of making your work life a living hell. This thought carries you until Joel has parked in front of Maria’s place, turning off the engine.

You glance behind you to see Sarah completely passed out in her car seat, her little head tilted to the side. Toad is on the seat next to her, just out of grip. You smile at her before glancing over at her dad.

Joel is staring at you, barely illuminated in the darkness. But you can feel the warmth from his gaze. For a moment you muse that for a man who keeps so much of himself hidden, sometimes his eyes give everything away.

For example right now they drop down to your mouth, staring for a beat too long. Your stomach jumps as Joel unbuckles his belt and slides across the bench seat towards you.

Holy fuck.

Joel is gonna kiss you.

His mouth nearing yours. You stay still, your eyes widening as he inches closer until …

…His hand hits the door handle, Twisting and pushing. It opens with a groan and you blink rapidly at Joel.

"Gets stuck on that side," he reminds you, his warm breath falling over your cheeks. His face is so close you could count every individual eyelash if you wanted to, but then he recedes just as fast.

"Thanks," you manage in breathy whisper. "I'll uh, I'll see you."

You fumble with your car seat as Joel’s lips quirk into a smirk. With a frustrated growl you yank it from you before rushing from the truck, your heart pounding all the way back to your suite.

You pace around the small space going over all that just happened in the last hour, your head swimming. How are you going to face James at work? How are you going to handle babysitting for Joel, now that he just witnessed such an embarrassing display? Your eyes are on the flowers Joel gave you and you find your stomach squirming strangely.

You walk towards your bed, not wanting to think about that. Wanting to delay the inevitable tick and whirl of your brain. You fall backwards into your bed, your eyes closing the minute your head hits your pillow.

You don’t know how long you’re asleep for when there is a knock at the door. It’s soft yet insistent. You know it wouldn’t be James – he’s not that stupid. Despite what you assume but be a late hour you pull yourself from bed, shuffling over to the door and pulling it open slowly.

When the door creaks open to show Joel standing on the other side you're not even surprised.

“Joel. Hi.”

His eyes move up the length of your body slowly drinking you in.

He's dressed as he was earlier, only now his hair looks freshly washed. He's half leaning against the door with his arms crossed and he gazes at you with a heated look that says everything you're both unable to admit in words.

You don't even ask him inside. You launch yourself at his mouth and he brings you into his broad arms as if he's been waiting for you to surrender.

You kiss him deeply, your elbows curling around his neck. You thighs go to wrap around his waist, your ass cupped by his wide hands. He groans as he grips you to him before he walks you into your suite, kicking the door closed behind him.

He has you on the bed, your knees squeezing into his hips as he grinds against you. He's kissing you with the fever of a man consumed, his hands fumbling with the button and zipper of your jeans before pulling them down and off. Your panties are thrust to the side and his fingers splay over your sex without hesitation.

"Need to fuck you," he groans in your ear, rubbing and curling his fingers within you. "But you gotta come on my fingers first.”

"Yes," you gasp, arching into him at the pleasurable pressure. Your own hand slides under his the bands of his jeans and boxers to find him already warm and hard. You grip him there tugging gently.

Joel hisses against your mouth before he begins bucking into your hand. His fists are twisted in the sheets next to your head, his hips rolling as your hand strokes him, your thighs clenching in response to his delightful fingers.

"Fuck that's good," he rasps against your jaw. "Shouldn't feel this good."

"Yes it should," you tell him as his mouth begins to move downwards, slipping over your clothed breasts. He's moving his hips faster now, his groans coming out in sharp little huffs.

"Gonna make me come."

"I want you to," you moan, tilting your mouth to meet his once more. "Please. Please!"

"Please what?"

You jerk awake with a muffled snort, the corner of your mouth damp. Maria is sitting across from you at her table, both of you dressed in pyjamas.

"Huh?"

The sound of morning birds outside the bright window jerk you out of your daze and you take a moment to register that you’re in Maria’s kitchen. A plate of flapjacks is in front of you, along with a half-drunk coffee. You came up here a while ago to tell her about your horrible date.

"We were in the middle of talking about what happened with James last night. I went to pour myself more coffee and I think you fell asleep?" Maria is looking at you with a raised brow. "You started saying please over and over. You okay?"

Jesus.

You can’t tell her you’ve just startled yourself from a sex dream with her boyfriend’s brother. You can’t admit that Joel’s comfort last night had been attractive to you in a way your body understood better than your brain. Instead you force a shaky smile around your coffee mug.

“Just tired, I guess.”

#something to fight for #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #fanfic #fanfiction #smut #dad joel miller #joel miller #pedro pascal #a03 #bill and frank #frank and bill #lgbt characters

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pedroshotwifey · 3 months

Text

To the Flame Chapter 5

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Dark!Javier Peña x afab!reader

Word count: 2.5k

Chapter tags/warnings: family fighting, fluff, hurt/comfort, manipulation, tiny lil plot twist kinda, wifey struggling to keep y'all interested

Chapter summary: You really don't know what you would do without Javi. (please remember I'm shit at summaries)

A/N: I know; what the fuck is going on? This is supposed to be dark? Well don't worry, dear friend, we're getting there! Please just bear with me, I know I'm probably testing some patience right now, but I swear to you that it will be worth it soon. Also, if this sounds rushed, I'm so sorry, but I know you would all rather get to the good shit sooner than later. Thank you, loves!

***

“Can you come pick me up?”

You hate the way your voice shakes in tandem with your trembling body, it makes you feel weak and vulnerable. Though you might hate even more the fact that you’re having to bother Javi with something like this.

You haven’t even thought it out yet—your brain is much too hazy for you to even try right now. Where will you go after he picks you up? You can’t ask him if you can stay at his place, you wouldn’t want to be any more of a problem than you already are.

“Yes, sweetheart, of course. Is everything okay?”

The sincerity in Javi’s voice makes you want to melt. Only this man would be so kind and caring as to go out of his way for you without an explanation. He must have just gotten home, too, because you’ve only been in your house for about fifteen minutes.

You know he must hear the sniffle from your end of the phone, because he immediately sounds more concerned than anything.

“Sweetheart?”

Taking in a gulp of air, you glance at your dad who is still watching you with his arms crossed in front of his chest and a deep scowl on his face. You let your gaze flicker back down the tile floor, not wanting to see his obvious disgust for any longer than necessary.

“Not really,” you admit, biting your lip to keep it together. “I’ll tell you when you get here. I h-have some stuff to take too.”

You hear him mutter a curse as you blink and another tear races down your wet cheeks.

“Okay, I’ll be there soon, honey. Just hang on a minute,” he says.

He sounds extremely worried, and you can tell he would rather stay on the phone with you to make sure you're safe, but he has to let you go so he can get to you in person. He hangs up and you set the receiver down.

“I-I have a friend coming to get me,” you tell your father, much quieter than you would have liked to be.

“Go ahead and get your shit out of here,” he says as he starts to walk back into the kitchen, not bothered enough to spare you more of his time. Your mom has already busied herself with the dishes, but you swear you see tears cradling her face.

Your stomach drops for what has to be a hundredth time today, but you have nothing better to do, so you drag yourself back to the pile of your stuff. You want nothing more than to disappear. Just to sink into a hole and curl up some place nobody can find you. You can’t believe you could be so selfish and stupid. But can they really blame you for doing something for yourself for once?

Taking a deep breath and coming to a stop in front of your stuff, you pick up the box sitting on top. It’s not a large pile; a lot of your possessions got left at your old apartment when you high-tailed it out of there, but you’ve never been one to keep a lot of stuff anyway.

You only have to take a couple trips to have all of your things in a neat stack near the driveway. You’re just balancing your last suitcase when you hear a small voice from behind you calling your name.

You spin around on your heel to see your sister leaning on one of the porch columns. She’s clearly been crying, and it sends a pang of regret through your body. One look is all it takes for her to be hurdling herself your way and engulfing you in a hug.

Your arms wrap around her as you allow yourself to sob, feeling her own sadness shake the both of you as she rests her chin on your shoulder.

“I’m so sorry,” you manage to choke out. Her hand comes to stroke your hair as she shakes her head lightly in disapproval.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Her confession only brings another round of tears to your eyes.

“I promise to call you every day,” you sniffle into her hair.

She nods again, silently agreeing.

“As long as mom and dad will let me,” she says.

You know Javi’s going to be here any minute now, and you don’t want to get her in trouble, so you pull away with as much of a smile as you can muster.

“I’ll be okay,” you tell her with a squeeze to her shoulders. The look on her face absolutely breaks you all over again. She nods solemnly and pulls you in for one more good hug as you exchange ‘I love you’s, and then turns back to the house before she finds herself unable to let you go.

It’s while she’s walking back inside that you hear the sound of Javi’s truck coming up your gravel drive. He hops out and is at your side in less than ten seconds.

“Hermosa,” he greets you frantically, gently grabbing your cheeks with both hands to tilt your head and examine you for injuries. His shoulders sag with relief when he sees none. The action makes your stomach flip, and you really wish it would stop doing that.

He looks behind you to eye your stuff.

“Let’s get you out of here.”

You nod and follow him to start moving your things again. Neither of you talk as you load everything you own into the bed of his truck and strap it down, the brief looks you cast at each other have enough meaning for you to have had a full conversation anyway.

Once everything’s packed, you take one last look at your house, a wave of hurt washing over you. There’s so many memories here. Sure, not all of them were great, but it’s your entire childhood. You’re leaving your entire childhood, and that sentiment just isn’t settling with you.

Javi has to pull you out of your trance by carefully taking your hand in his and motioning that it’s time to go. The look on his face isn’t quite of pity, but more of discern. You feel seen and heard for one of the first times in your life, and that thought doesn’t escape you.

You follow after him, and he opens the passenger door for you before helping you in like the gentleman he is. You flash him as much of a smile as you can muster as you help lift yourself up. He shuts the door behind you, gets in on his side, and you’re backing down the drive before you can even process the fact that you’re really leaving.

Javi asks you to tell him what happened after a couple minutes of letting you calm down, and you explain it all. You break down in the middle of the explanation, but he’s patient, and tells you to take all the time you need. It doesn’t take long for you to have everything out, but you feel like you’ve been wrung dry after the fact.

It hurts even more to say everything out loud, to admit that your parents hate you because you wanted happiness. Javi consoles you, wrapping an arm around you when you slide over to lean into his side on the bench seat.

He lets you get all your tears out, shushing you and planting gentle kisses on your head as you wrack sobs into his shoulder. It’s painful, but once you’ve cried all the tears you could, there’s a sense of lightness that consumes you. You try not to focus on the lingering pain in your chest as you look out the window.

The morning looks just as beautiful as it had earlier, but the sight makes your stomach churn this time. You’d been so stupid and unassuming on the ride home. The gentle glow now signifies nothing more than ignorance and an unreadable future. You can’t believe it was just over an hour ago that it had meant something else entirely.

“Sweetheart,” Javi breaks the temporary silence.

You look at him through your wet lashes, your head still propped on his shoulder because you don’t think you can hold it up without support right now.

“I’m going to take you to my place, but I want to ask you something first.”

You pick your head up now, both because of the relief from hearing him say that, and also from the hint of something in Javi’s voice that sounds a little like nervousness.

“Thank you, Javi,” you tell him as sincerely as you can. You would literally have nowhere to go without him. “What do you want to ask?”

He looks at you, and you swear you see his eyes light up the tiniest bit. He must see the gratitude written on your face.

“You know I’d do anything to make sure you’re safe, right?”

His question takes you aback. Of course you do, how could he even ask that? He’s been nothing but kind to you and has only ever had the best intentions.

“Yes, Javi, of course,” you say, turning to him fully to emphasize your truth. You need him to know how much you trust him, how much you appreciate the care and attention he provides you with.

He turns back to the road, but you catch the way one corner of his mouth tugs up ever so slightly. At least he seems to know you’re sincere.

“Well, I think there’s something we need to do to make sure you’ll stay that way.”

You keep quiet. Your interest is piqued but you stay silent for him to continue.

“I think that your parents shouldn’t be able to get to you anymore. Even though they kicked you out, we don’t know if they’re done bothering you.”

Your brows furrow.

“I don’t know, I really don’t think they would have any reason to come after me,” you say, perplexed as to why he would think such a thing. Sure, your parents are kind of assholes, but they’re not insane. They wanted you gone, and you’re gone. That’s that.

You miss the way Javi’s jaw ticks as you turn back to lean against your seat.

“I know, honey, but it’s always best to play it on the safe side.”

You try to think about what he’s telling you, but it still doesn’t sound like they would be a threat.

“Especially if you get a job now that you’re not working for them anymore. What if they find out where you applied or where you’re working, and try to get you fired or declined? They could also tell people about what happened, and this town’s not going to take kindly to that.”

That, on the other hand, sounds a bit more realistic. You wouldn’t exactly put something like that past them.

“And you need to get your address and home number changed, which is going to be a pain in the ass, and will probably require some interaction with them.”

You bite your lip. He has a point, but you still have no idea where he’s going with this. He glances back over at you and sees the contemplative look on your face, his features softening.

“I know it’s a lot, sweetheart, but I’m just trying to look out for you.”

You look at him, catching his gaze. His eyes brows are set in a worried place, concern lacing his features. It makes your heart melt a little bit, to know this man cares so deeply for you.

“I know, and I really appreciate it, but there’s not much I can do about it,” you tell him. He bows his head slightly.

“Actually,” he starts. “I was thinking that I might have the solution. It would make me feel better to know you’re safe as well, cariño.”

His hand grabs tighter to yours as you worry your lip. You have this funny feeling in your stomach that you can’t decipher.

“What’s that?”

“You can marry me.”

If you had been driving, the truck would have jolted to a stop. All the breath is knocked from your lungs as you stare at the man who was able to say something like that so casually. Marry you? You’ve only known him for a couple of months.

“W-what?” you squeak out with the little bit of breath you have left. He shrugs lightly, as if those words didn’t have any kind of an impact on him.

“That way, you can change your name, number, and address without any hassle. You’ll be able to hide your identity for the most part, and you won’t have to worry about the logistics of that other stuff.”

You just stare at him, your jaw open slightly.

“I can keep you safe that way. Nobody will mess with you if they know you’re mine.”

You feel something tug at your chest when he says that. Maybe officially being his won’t be so bad. You know you’re fast on the track of falling completely for this man anyway.

You close your mouth to swallow, thinking over your options with a racing heart. It really does make sense to do that, but you can’t see it happening.

“I don’t know, Javi…” you trail off, a little lightheaded from the suggestion.

Javi sighs and checks the rearview mirror before pulling to the side of the road.

“What are you doing?”

He ignores your question and instead reaches a hand in front of you to open the passenger glove box. He moves a couple of papers out of the way, and out comes a small, velvet box. Your breath seizes in your throat.

Javi turns to you, looking at you with the saddest, most pleading eyes you’ve ever seen. There’s a gleam to them, showcasing both the hope for a yes, and the nervousness of you saying no.

“I knew from the first date, hermosa, that I was going to have you some day,” he starts. Your eyes get misty all over again. This isn’t just him offering you a solution. He wants you, and you honestly can’t even comprehend why a man like him would. He opens the box in his hand, and you gasp. The most beautiful ring you’ve ever laid eyes on lays snug in the small pillow inside of it.

“I want to be the one to take care of you, to hold you, and to love you, for the rest of your life. Please be my wife,” his voice cracks on that last sentence, and you lose it.

You throw your arms around him, a couple of tears escaping as you do so.

“Yes, I’ll marry you,” you choke. You’re filled with a warmth that almost completely replaces the hurt that had consumed you. He really, really wants you, and you don’t know if you’ll ever get used to feeling so special.

Javi lets out a shaky laugh filled with relief as he hugs you back and presses a kiss to your forehead.

“You know I would do anything for you, right?”

“I do,” you nod at him with watery eyes. “Thank you, Javi.”

“Thank you, sweetheart. You’re about to make me the happiest man alive.”

***

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