#and short fic writers who have successfully written long

[ao3commentoftheday]

Do you have any advice and how to write a long fic?

I'll encourage long fic writers to add on in the notes, but as someone who tends to prefer short and medium-length fic, I'll tell you how I go about it.

Get a premise that you just absolutely love. You're going to be writing this thing for months, if not longer, so you want it to be something you're willing to spend a lot of time thinking about.

Embrace subplots. You'll have your main plotline that you want to see through from beginning to end, but you can also weave in some subplots here or there. The way I do this so that I don't get lost down a rabbit hole is that I always make sure that every chapter has at least 1 thing that moves the main plot forward and then if I want to spend 1-2K with some side characters doing something fun I can do that as well. Subplots can extend for the length of the full narrative, but they can also just last a chapter or three. If you're used to writing short fic, these might give you that familiar feeling of "completion"

A chapter is only as long as it needs to be. Don't get hung up on having a consistent chapter length. Don't get hung up on hitting some arbitrary number every time. Instead, figure out what the next part of your story needs to include and write however many words it takes to get that chunk across. Varying your chapter lengths is a normal thing to do and not something to stress about.

The next thing that I find important personally may or may not be relevant to you, but I find that I can't plot anything in much detail. If I get too into the nitty gritty with my plotting, it just feels like I've already written it. I need to keep it at the level of "And then A and B meet C and hijinks ensue." I can figure out the particular hijinks later. It's the characters meeting up that's the next important thing for me to figure out. Getting too far ahead of myself is a death knell for me in writing long fics, but there are other writers who swear by it. Test out different ways of approaching it and see what works for you.

As someone who tends to write more briefly, another feature that's common to longer fics is more extensive descriptions. People spend time painting visual pictures of the setting or the characters or the actions that are happening. Write the more bare-bones style that focuses more on dialogue (if you're like me) and then go back and read through what you've just written and see if there are opportunities to add in more detail. This can lead to some really interesting characterization choices and also help you out with worldbuilding.

When it comes to worldbuilding, you don't have to get it all on the page. You just need to share what's relevant for the reader in that moment and what is useful to lay out now so that it's already there in a future chapter. You can have an encyclopedic knowledge of how your world works in your head, but it's not actually necessary. No one is going to be quizzing you later - and if they do, you can always figure it out at that point.

Most important for me when I'm trying to get myself to the end of a longer fic, have a friend or a group of friends who are also into what you're writing - or at least willing to hear you get excited about it. Being able to get excited about your work is so important. It's like a bottle of water being handed to you on mile 10 of a marathon.

#asks and answers #long fic writers go! #and short fic writers who have successfully written long #how did you go about it? #long post

[suzteel]

🍓🍬🐝 for the ask game!

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

Well I've always been inclined toward telling stories, I can't even remember how young I was when I started writing my own. Never had much follow through though. I would come up with an idea, write down some, get bored and then drop it. Some things never change, I guess. But naturally once I discovered fandom and fanfic, I tried my hand with it too though I had the same problem as with my original fiction: either I would get bored, or it would take so long to write that it got jossed in the meantime. So for the decade and an half of my fandom I mostly wrote on and off, bits and pieces for myself in various fandoms, never finishing or publishing anything. Then one day five years ago, lightning finally struck: I joined a new fandom, was struck by an idea for a short one-shot, and managed to write enough of the scene down in the mania of new fandom high that I had a full complete skeleton of a fic. Then I spent that weekend parked at my local Starbucks finishing and editing it enough to post on tumblr. And after successfully completing one fic, it's gotten easier to force myself to continue writing my initial ideas. Though obviously, it's still a struggle.

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

Oh man, this one is hard. I just feel like I'm comfortable enough doing my own thing that I'm not entirely sure what is or isn't popular. Idk I maybe lean more in the Vegas is a sexual sadist camp than most people I know (and conversely don't think Pete is a masochist, though he has his own things that still happen to work), but I'm not married to that interpretation or anything. Oh also, Vegas does not have a praise kink. As in, I think Vegas's relationship with praise is complex and messy and is as likely to be a trigger than something that feels good.

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

Oh my gosh, @lu-sn has been my actual rock more times than I can count, especially when I've been in some of my lowest lows, holding my hand and dragging me through some really nasty breakdowns. I have no idea how I managed to get so lucky as to befriend her, but I know I'm better for it. And she's an incredible writer too; I'm still amazed when I remember this is the first fandom she's written for.

Also, little shout outs to @kissporsche @fleet-off @thepetesimp for their constant support and cheerleading, and also @thatblackdress who was my first cheerleader and beta for Vegaspete fic even though she doesn't even go here 😆

Thanks for the ask!

Writers Truth or Dare Ask Game

#asks

[obiwanwhumpminibang]

FAQ

What is a mini bang? How does this work?

This event is mainly a form of collaboration between fandom artists and writers. The event will start with writers creating a summary of their fic and a short excerpt which participating artists will then make artwork inspired by these fanfictions in return. During the reveal timeframe, these works will be made available to the fandom.

You might have taken part in a big bang event before, but this event is intended to be a scaled down version of this. Our word count minimum for participating writers is 3K words and the upper limit will be approximately 20K words. This event will also only span the length of three months in total.

Who can participate? How do I sign up?

Anyone (18+ though)! We do not have any requirements other than age for writers or artists, but we do ask that you join the event in good faith. 

Sign-up dates and links to google surveys are listed in the Event Information post pinned to this blog. If you wish to confirm you have successfully enrolled in the event, please contact the mods and will make sure you are. 

What level of complexity is expected for art pieces? 

We welcome any skill level for this event! All we ask is that your piece is fully complete at the time of posting and is more than just a sketch. 

Can I sign up as both a writer and an artist?

Absolutely! In fact, we’re encouraging it! As many of us in the Clone Wars/Prequels/Obi-Wan fandom circles are likely aware, there are not as many artists as there are writers in this particular fandom. We want to ensure all the writers participating are able to get artwork to go with their fanfic.

Can I sign up to make art for multiple fanfics?

Yes, we are also encouraging this! If you are an artist willing to make more than one piece for the event, we would love to be able to use this as an option in the case our writers outnumber our artists (which is very likely). When filling out your sign-up, please answer the prompt regarding how many pieces of art you are willing to make for the event. 

Keep in mind, even if you are willing to make multiple pieces, there is a chance this will not be necessary based on the sign-ups from other artists. 

Will I need to fill out two sign-up forms if I am planning to be both an artist and a writer?

No, please just indicate on the sign-up form you would like to be both when prompted. 

Are the mods planning to participate in the event?

Yes, we are both participating.

What is considered to be “whump?”

We would like the fics and artwork to be whump-centric. What do we mean by that? Well, you just need to hurt Obi-Wan really. It’s up to you whether you want to comfort him or not. We aren’t looking to limit your creativity, just as long as Obi-Wan gets some good old fashioned pain & suffering. 

Consider some of the following tags on Ao3 if you want to get a better idea of what we’re looking for: Hurt/Comfort, Whumptober 2023, Chronic Illness, Sickfic, Major character injury, Major character death, Injury Recovery, Whump, Disability

Is shipping permitted?

We would like to keep the primary focus of the event on whumping Obi-Wan. Can that include a relationship? Sure, but we encourage participants to keep this as a secondary aspect of the fic. We want to make sure artists are able to find fics that match their interests and it will be more difficult if most of the fics include ships and our artists are not interested in those particular ones. 

Can fanfics and art be NSFW? 

Yes. Artists will need to ensure writer prompts and fic information fit within what they are comfortable with during the claims process. 

Are there other rules regarding what can/can’t be written about?

No, as long as everything is tagged appropriately. Go buckwild. We encourage violence and crimes (committed against Obi-Wan, of course). 

And because it needs to be said, the mods subscribe to the “don’t like, don’t read” policy. 

How do artists pick/claim writer prompts?

Before the claims period (exact dates TBD, but the first week of February or January 31st) writers will be required to submit both a summary of their fic, as well as a short excerpt that helps to give artists a good idea of the content of their fic. Additionally, writers will list what rating their fic is planned to be and any warnings artists should be aware of before choosing to work on the fic.

During the claims period, artists will review the writers submissions (which will be anonymous for the sake of fairness) and report which prompts they would most like to work on. From there, mods will match artists to prompts based on their votes. 

How long do writers have to finish their fics?

Writers will have approximately 11-12 weeks to fully complete their fics. However, there is an expectation that a summary and excerpt (100 to 500 words) are finished in time for the artist's claims. Currently, the due date for the summary and written excerpts is January 31st. The remainder of the fic can be worked on continuously up until the reveal week. 

How long will artists have to finish their pieces?

Artists will have approximately 7-8 weeks to finish their pieces. 

Will there be a discord server for the event and is it mandatory to join?

Yes and yes. Sorry dudes another discord for another event. Mostly, it makes it easier for mass communication purposes and will be the main way us as mods will communicate with participants. You are required to join the server and the mods will send a link to the server to you once your sign-up has been approved. 

As an aside, we will not be communicating via email throughout the event other than to send a link to the discord server if you would like to receive it this way. Though the sign-ups will require an email address, our expectation is all event communication will take place on discord. 

Can fics be shared outside of the event before the reveal week?

No. All fics and artwork should only be discussed with event participants until the reveal week. The only exception to this rule is beta readers, but remind them to practice discretion. 

Are there any check-ins?

There will be one check-in for both writers and artists each. This will take place about one month from the reveal week and will serve the purpose of ensuring everyone is on track to finish their work in time.

#FAQ #obi wan whump mini bang #owmb2023

[redwayfarers]

so i mentioned a bridgerton AU for nika and artoirel and uh,,, it kinda broke my writer's block so i wrote a thing. self indulgent, as fics go. ignore the historical inaccuracies, glaring though they may be.

The gentlemen’s club is full. Of course, there was a good reason for that; as a frequenter of the clubs himself, Nika fully understands the appeal of such places, where you meet men of your rank, drink, gossip like you would in drawing rooms, but with less rigidity around it all. And this particular club, situated at the very periphery of the fashionable part of town, housed one of Nika’s favorite places to settle when he was in the mood for observation. The chairs are always awfully comfortable and the drink is of superb quality, and not to mention their black teas. Sometimes, after a performance at the court, he’d go here to listen to the impressions. All delightfully positive, which soothed Nika’s ego like little else. 

Now, though, he has a mission of critical fucking importance. This club was the only place he could think of as he tried to run away from calls from a particularly adamant mother who wants musically inclined grandkids. So he tasked his own mother with fending her off, with a half strangled, ‘I do not wish to marry her fucking daughter’ and off he was, to the only place he knew he was more or less safe, to the only place where he could slump in the chair and nobody would bat an eye. 

Who the fuck knew that fending off sharklike marriage connoisseurs would be so tiring? 

Unfortunately for him, when he ran towards the table at the back with semi-appropriate haste, he found the seat had already been taken, by none other than the new Count de Fortemps. He’s equally taken a chance to tiredly slump, and is now drinking small sips of port. The delicate glass fits his long fingers, Nika thinks. The details on the glass is almost as pristine as the perfect roundness of his short nails; he crosses his legs, as if to showcase the brilliant shine of his black shoes and his long legs. The low lighting of a nearby lamp makes the sharpness of his face stand out, and in the warmth of it, his blue eyes gleam with relief of finally having a moment to himself. 

Too bad Nika’s mean enough to disturb it. He deserves it, the handsome bastard. “That is my spot,” Nika says. Artoirel straightens immediately and squints. 

“There is not your name written anywhere here, Lord Perseis.” Artoirel shakes his glass. He looks at Nika beneath dark eyelashes. “Therefore, I am permitted to sit here. Am I not a paying customer of this fine establishment?” 

“You are, but you can be a paying customer on another seat. Your money’s going in the same pocket.” Nika crosses his arms. He will not allow anyone else, regardless of how pleasing to the eye they might be, to sit in his place. 

“As is yours,” Artoirel quips and raises his chin. Nika stares him down. “Is there anything I can help you with, Lord Perseis?” 

“You can move from– You know what, my lord? Nevermind. But I’m going to sit here–” Nika points at the chair opposite of the one Artoirel’s currently occupying, “and annoy you with my presence when you so very obviously wish to be alone.” He promptly throws himself on the seat. “You Ishgardians are another breed of person, I swear.” 

He’s breaking a hundred social protocols, but he doesn’t care. He never did. Not now, when there’s a pretty bastard on his seat, and he has to wait for the offending matron to be successfully evicted from the manor premises. Artoirel’s steely gaze would make anyone uncomfortable, but not Nika. Oh no, not Nika. 

“I concur,” Artoirel then adds, quietly. “Especially persistent mamas who would like to see their children married off.” 

Nika blinks, but before he can react, the waiter comes over. “Brandy,” he orders, and turns his attention back to Artoirel. “They’re trying to marry you off too?” 

“There is nobody to marry me off but myself, my lord. However, other people of rank seem to think they ought to be related to a Count.” He rubs his temples. “I, for one, am not willing to marry just yet. But alas.” 

“Ah,” Nika takes a sip of his brandy. “People also seem to think they ought to be related to a musician.”

“And there is no stopping the tide,” Artoirel finishes, with the same misery as before. “‘Twould seem we share a struggle.” 

“At the moment, no,” Nika throws his head back and sighs. He watches Artoirel - the dark pink of his lips, pressed in a thin line, the strands of black hair that fall around his face in a tamed wave, the high points of his cheekbones. I wouldn’t mind being seen with him, Nika thinks. This serious expression suits him. Although, he would probably look just as good if he smiled more. 

No, I wouldn’t mind it at all. 

Nika jerks upright. “We both have the same issue, my good count,” he starts. “And I may have a solution.” 

“If you are suggesting we run to Coerthas and live in a small cabin, thus never seeing a soul ever again, which Lord Stephanivien has told me at some point, I shall promptly turn you down.” 

Nika frowns. “No! What I meant to say was we pretend to be betrothed. That is the problem - people preying on our lack of current romantic lives, right? So we simply pretend we have them, with each other, we walk sometimes around the gardens and go to some operas and people leave us alone.” 

“That.. is not a horrible plan,” Artoirel says after a thought. “And after a while, we break it off, once everyone else has understood that we are to be left alone.” 

“Yes! Like that! We both win!” Nika grins. Finally! A solution that might work! No more annoying nobles, throwing their children at him! At long last, he’ll have peace, music and fame! 

“If we are both in agreement,” Artoirel says with all the seriousness in the world, “when would you find it appropriate for me to ask your mother for your hand in marriage?” 

Uh oh. I wouldn’t mind being seen with him. 

Uh oh.  

#nero plays ffxiv #inspo birb has come to town #bridgerton au #nika perseis #artoirel de fortemps #nika x artoirel #ffxiv #i am so sorry. i tried not to do full research for regency drinks and titles. #art was this close to being a duke and nika was this close to being an earl #but hey. this was fun to write! i missed writing fr #wolartoirel

[erithel]

Do you ever go back to your old work/written fanfic and see if there’s anything you would change if you were to write those stories now??? Or if there were certain things you wish you went more in depth with???

The short answer for the fanfics I have posted on ao3 is no. No, I actually don't look back at those and have the compulsion to change or rewrite them.

The long answer is this:

I think the main reason for not wanting to change them is I wrote those at a time in my life where I had reached a level of understanding that allowed me to convey emotions and darker subjects with the proper care and punch they required.

Broken Things, for example, I believe will always be one of the best things I've ever done. And I know that if I had attempted to write it earlier, it would not have come out with the proper tone and message.

Were the fics I wrote perfect? Oh, no. But am I satisfied with them as they are because they were written in a way where I feel I successfully conveyed the emotions I intended to convey? Yup.

And the reason is actually pretty simple.

Because it took writing these fanfics for me to come to the understanding that emotions were my thing.

Any creator of any kind will compare themselves to others. And writers do this by believing that they'll never be as good as another writer because they don't have the same writing style.

But the thing is:

You can only be the best that you can be, and that's what you should aim for. You can't be as good as someone else, because that's not you.

I can never write anything like some of my brilliant, talented writing friends, but that's okay. Because not every reader wants the same thing.

Can I describe in a non-boring way how a piece of scenery looks? Maybe begrudgingly and after a lot of frustration.

Can I take your heart and metaphorically squeeze it? Now you've got my attention.

I think the main reason why people look back on old work and cringe is because that work just didn't reflect the style they were meant to have.

It doesn't reflect who they are as a creator.

Sometimes it just take a lot of time, and a lot of trial and error to settle into yourself as a creator – to discover who you want to be and what stories you are good at telling.

We all look back at stuff we've made and cringe, but sometimes that's okay.

Sometimes you have to sit him him a little bit:

Before you can get to him:

That all being said, I have a ton or original stories that I would change the hell out of if I went back and revisited them, now.

Like…probably literally everything except the character names for some of them LOL

But honestly sometimes the best way to grow as a creator is looking back on something and saying to yourself "oh, we are never doing THAT again, are we?"

#erithel's hot takes #fanfiction #asks

[mirrorofliterature]

#2 for the deep fic writer ask - if you're still answering those 😊

2. what's a fic that took you to an emotional/dark/hard place?

Thanks for the question!

I have been thinking over this, and I don’t really get emotional when writing? Like, I straight up kill characters and write in-depth grieving and it will look the same as if I was writing anything else. One time I wrote a death scene before a wedding. I take... not delight, but writerly satisfaction in successfully executing the most tragic endings. Writing tragedy is a skill, and it is masterful, so I find it quite cathartic to write. Writing angst comes easy to me, with pretty words and deadly metaphors.

I am also a very private person, and I haven’t really drawn any very strong parallels to my own life in fic. If my fic drew more from personal experience, I think I would have a straightforward answer to this question. But I don’t. I guess there was one ficlet I wrote, in a notebook, about a similar pining to my own at the time, but I never published it. It was emotional, in a way.

I would say that writing hp fic can be very emotionally taxing, because you have to put in so much effort to deconstruct all of the bigotry and prejudice woven into the books and to skilfully and sensitively insert in diversity. Writing a study of cracked gold was challenging at times because not only was I writing a story, I was also directly and openly challenging misogyny [and unhealthy family dynamics, and black and white thinking, and racism, and - you get the point], which, as a woman, is tiring to deal with. But again, not really an emotional or dark or hard place - challenging, difficult and taxing, but worth it. I study humanities, so nuance and difficulty are my safe spaces.

The closest thing I have written and published I could find that put me in an emotional place is a short ficlet I wrote in 2019 for shadowhunters. It started as a personal vent poem about anxiety, about uncertainty, which I twisted to fit the show because I liked the writing. It is probably the most vulnerable I have ever been in my writing.

I hope this long, rambly answer answers your question. Thanks for asking. In short: no, writing does not take me to an emotional or dark or hard place. I am an experienced angst and tragedy writer, someone who voluntarily studies some really confronting things about society, both in formal and informal settings.

But ask me to write about my personal life, and we may have a different answer.

#q & a #I think this is sufficiently deep #hchollym #thanks for the ask! #this was quite fun and introspective

[genuineformality]

Cool Asks for Fic Writers: 2,5,19,20!

I'm super behind on literally everything that isn't my day job right now (but let's be thrilled about the day job being okay!). Thank you so much for this ask and I'm sorry it took me forever to get to it.

2. Is there any specific ritual you go through while/before/after your writing?

I tend to write in the spaces between the rest of my life. I rarely sit down thinking, "And Now I Shall Write!" although I did that for Febuwhump and successfully churned out wordcount like no one's business, so that was nice.

If I'm writing in the morning before work, I like to pour myself a cup of coffee. If I'm writing in the evening when a housemate is making dinner or after I've cleaned up after making dinner, I might have a glass of wine. But mostly I'm sneaking a few paragraphs in whenever I have a spare moment that isn't occupied by something else, so there's not so much a ritual as there is a frantic remembering that I had an idea and if I don't get it down as quickly as possible, I'm liable to forget it.

5. How many words can you write if you sit down and concentrate intensely for an hour?

That is so incredibly variable. If I've hit the writing fugue, I will often find I've written a thousand words in a single sitting, but I feel like my writing is more craft than anything, so I spend a lot of time on sentences and word choice and tweaking language, even though I often tell myself to just write, dammit, and edit later. (I do edit later, but fuck me, do I spend a lot of time fussing over individual words in the moment.)

19. Why did you start writing?

I've answered variations of this, so I'm going to answer why I started this kind of writing (fanfic) again, since I've covered the fact that I can't not write elsewhere.

In 2020, I quit my volunteer job (where I was clocking as many hours for it as I was my day job), and slowly started untangling the fact that I had allowed myself be in an abusive relationship with my hobby for almost a decade. During the pandemic, I turned my attention to other things while I figured out what I actually enjoy and what I wanted to do with my downtime, since my primary hobby was clearly not working out for me.

I tried on a few different things and generally found that as much as I enjoyed my forays into inventing cocktails and getting back into cross stitch, I was really missing the creative component of my hobby, which was largely making up stories with other people.

I briefly got involved with a few online roleplaying games on discord that didn't quite fit what I was looking for (the best parts of those were when I wrote a bunch of setting and worldbuilding documentation, because fuck, I love worldbuilding like no one's business).

And then I fell into the Shadow and Bone (and more importantly the Six of Crows) fandom and after reading a lot of fanfic in a very short period of time, I realized that I'm literally not doing anything else with my downtime right now, and wouldn't it be awesome to write the stories I wanted and share them with people? Wouldn't it be neat to connect with people who don't know me from my other hobby (where the downside of having been so deeply involved for so long is that there's no escaping the people who want to talk politics or shop about the hobby, even after I've said, "I don't want to talk about this right now").

And it has been neat. It is neat. I love doing this. I love writing in this fandom. I really like a lot of the people I've met. This is great. I am in charge of absolutely nothing and no one except my own WIPs.

I'd love to get back into some online roleplaying of a very specific type (because there is a type of dopamine hit that comes from a really good, rapid-fire written roleplaying scene that I can't explain to anyone who hasn't already experienced it), but fic writing? I think I'm sticking it out here for awhile, because this is delightful.

20. Four sentences from your work that you’re proud of.

I'm cheating a bit, because I just received a comment on A Hundred Theories that quoted something I forgot I'd even written, and I was so delighted to discover that I wrote these words. Good job, me!

After that, he started pushing those boundaries. He couldn’t say exactly why he did it. Perhaps he was testing her. Perhaps he was testing himself. But he couldn’t ignore the thrill of something deep in his stomach when he left his gloves aside, or peeled out of his coat and rolled up his sleeves, alone in Inej’s company. Each sliver of exposed skin she never breathed a word about seeing only served to strengthen his trust, dangerous and misguided as that might be.

#ask games #six of crows #fanfic #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #about the author

[janiedean]

First off, I'm a HUGE fan of I'll be the frosting to your cupcake, one of the first fics I reread and a comfort fic staple of mine from the on.

Having said that, I recently learned English isnt your first language, and I'm shook. How do you write in such a flowy ample vocabulary precise english? Are you half British or sth? Have you live outside of Italy? What's your secret? What are your tips, please help a sister in need!

first of all thank you so much you're too kind ;v; and I'm really happy that it's been... ALMOST TEN YEARS and it still holds up ;v;

that said hahaha well I'M VERY HAPPY I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY MASTERED THE POWER OF NOT MAKING IT KNOWN ENGLISH IS NOT MY MOTHER TONGUE MUAHAHAH but in all seriousness:

no I'm not half british, my aunt was a high school english teacher but that was it and she definitely didn't speak english to me growing up beyond giving me the basics

no I haven't lived outside Italy just been on vacation in english speaking places so those two guesses aren't correct but

take into account that I'm 33 and I started learning english srsly when I was like twelve and I started writing in english when I was.... nineteen going on twenty so the way I write now is because I pretty much wrote in english nonstop since then, obviously whatever I wrote in 2007 had a worse vocabular/wasn't as good as it is now so count that a lot of that is practice

now basically i know it'll sound like ARE YOU SERIOUS but: I learned first translating songs by hand which meant I spent two years with a vocabulary translating bruce springsteen's and bon jovi's opera omnia that I had booklets for (YES THE INTERNET WAS ON 56K I HAD THE DAMNED LYRIC BOOKLETS RIP) and that.. I mean it didn't give me the widest vocab ever but it got me started, and then I jumped the bridge and started reading in english at.... eh I was 15 but like I got into stephen king, read a few of his books in italian, then got one I already had in italian in english for kicks and realized it... was better not translated so I swallowed the whole OH GOD I WON'T UNDERSTAND 1/5TH OF THE WORDS thing and went for it and like I can 100% assure you that if you get through the dark tower's second book and the indecent level of nyc slang in it you won't ever go back

(then being a masochist I went straight for steinbeck and if you manage the grapes of wrath at the level I was you're good X°D)

now like... that shows because every single time I take english tests like HOW DO YOU PRONOUNCE WORDS/WHAT IS YOUR WORDING CHOICE/WHAT DOES YOUR WRITING SOUND LIKE I without fail get as results that I pronounce like someone from new jersey/pennsylvania and I use words like someone from maine and that I read like king which... LIKE I LEARNED 95% OF MY ENGLISH on all of that so that makes sense

now the thing is after king I basically went like okay if that writer's english or writes in english I'm not checking the translations so basically I've read in english for twenty years and like... if you want to write you have to read and like I swear that when I was in high school I didn't need to open grammar books beyond the basics or actually study english at all bc having actually read stuff I like... having seen the word/expressions used on paper meant I knew how to use them so there was that but like the point is that if you read a lot your vocabulary automatically gets wider and if you see how published people you like write that helps you too because it gives you the background, makes you see how people break the rules etc

with this I mean... like you know everyone is like YOU HAVE TO WRITE SHORT SENTENCES IN ENGLISH UNLESS YOU'RE A CLASSICAL AUTHOR OR YOU'RE WRONG? okay like I always struggled with it bc I tend to be long-winded, then one day I ran into michael chabon who not only has the kind of refined vocab I can only dream of, but he also has no issue dropping six-lines long sentences (or a 12 pages stream of consciousness of a parrot without a dot bless him) and he won a pulitzer prize and while I am certainly not michael chabon and I can only dream of being 10% as good when it comes to that mix of craft, if he can do that then who stops me from six-lines sentences? yeah, no one XD

and I mean like... just to say one re how you re-elaborate things, the whole thing I do with using parentheses on another new line to say how characters are feeling or switch pov for a moment etc etc is a thing I absolutely lifted from king bc when I read him doing it I decided it was genius, but like at some point I started doubling or tripling the parentheses if I wanted to show what someone was thinking superficially and subconsciously which is a thing king doesn't do but at some point it happened and I liked it so I did it, and that's like the only conscious example I can give you but like you develop your style also based on what you like reading and what comes easy to you but that's things you find out through practice and again... if you like specific writers most likely it'll show up in your writing but that's fine everyone has their role models

also like... I personally don't gaf if supposed english tradition says I can't do something I'd do writing in italian ie abusing semicolons and long-winded sentences, like... if you're good at specific thing that your language allows and english doesn't don't gaf and write it in english anyway who cares

tldr the tips are: read a lot in english, consume a lot of media in english, practice a lot because you get better/get the hand of it with time (again if you read my lost fanfic on lj written in 2008-2011 it's nowhere near the same level as what I write now but not even the stuff I wrote in my spn days is at the level I am now etc), read a lot also in your own language or in any other you know, write as much as you can, if you feel like you're copying your favorite writer don't gaf and go ahead anyway at some point you'll sound like you and not like whoever your fave writer is and be constant because again 50% is reading a lot and 50% is practice, I know it sounds like the discovery of hot water but I swear I managed that without living anywhere else and only reading/writing/talking to people on the internet so... it does work X°D

<3

#ask post #walterwitch #janie rants

[wolfling06]

The Bigger they are, The harder they fall

Writer’s note: Hey! this is my first ever fic, I have dabbled some in writing but I have never written a full on fic so I apologize if there is anything wrong with it. anyways, Enjoy! (yes this is my original fic, please do not take it as your own and if you are to reblog or repost it, please tag me. thank you!)

Summary; Skid and Pump had quickly become the most well known of the extended group of friends as the most teasy, mischievous, and energetic lers. They were definitely a force to be reckoned with. And they both had their eyes on the tallest, strongest of the group. A true challenge to bring down, and one they both wanted to hear laugh. Whitty. (Lee!Whitty and Ler!Pump&Skid)

Warning: Slight language

  After the Lemon demon was defeated and all were saved, they began to hang out and visit one another more often, Pico, Keith, and occasionally even Carol would go with Whitty to the skate park or even do some graffiti with him, Gf would occasionally tag along but would also often spend more time with her parents. Skid and Pump were all over the place and visited everyone at the most random times, jumping in and occasionally even startling the others out of their previous activities. 

   The 2 were quickly known as the most mischievous and ones who would do anything to pull a good prank or 2. The only thing that could be matched with their love of pranks and adventure was their love of hearing their friends laugh.

   And oh, how they tried, they did many things. From bad jokes, to silly stunts, to even tickling. And once they found out everyone in the gang was even a little ticklish they both wanted to exploit this new discovery to the fullest. And they did, whether they had reason or not. 

   Many times they would target Keith, Pico, or even each other from time to time. Mostly because they were around their size and easy to get to. Carol and Gf were also similar in height but they saw the boys more often. However, that didn’t mean the duo weren’t up for a challenge. Whitty for example;

    Whitty was very tall, standing at only a single inch short of 9 feet, very tall and lanky with extreme strength and great self defense capabilities that his appearance would blind one from seeing at first sight. He was always calm and poker faced and he rarely smiled out of pure amusement. He was easily the tallest out of all of them. And, with Skid and Pump being the smallest of the whole group, that meant they were very much opposites. One would think it would be impossible for the 2 to take him down, especially long enough to successfully tickle him like they would the others.

  And at first, yea, it was very difficult. 

  Until they discovered a new approach to it.

  They first discovered this new technique while they had been visiting his place. They had stopped by on another one of their unexpected visits. At first, Whitty seemed a little bothered, but as it kept happening over and over and it seemed that no matter what he said or did, they always kept coming. He tried to keep polite about it but whenever he would win, he would get the kicked puppy look and they would slowly make their way out looking sad and dejected. Eventually, his guilt would take over and he would either let them stay or they would go and he wouldn’t even object to them the next time they came. Eventually, he just gave up trying all together and let them come and go as they please so long as they dont take or break anything.

   However, this time when they came they seemed a little...different.

They were energetic and chatty as usual, but they seemed a little more giddy than usual, he couldn't help but feel like he was being watched, a feeling he particularly hated. He let the 2 wander the living room a bit before they settled down on the couch, both shifting a little to get comfy. He made his way into the kitchen and pulled out a large bag of Dorito chips and poured it into a bowl, making his way into the living room once more and placing it on the coffee table before setting up the Nintendo Switch and popping in Mario Kart, offering the other 2 one of the controllers. Pump went first against Whitty, it was a loser trade where the person that lost had to give it to the next person that had yet to play. In this case it was Whitty against Pump, who paid more attention to the scenery of the game then that actual race. Skid shouted, clearly hyped up, and stood up on the couch and began waving his arms in the direction he wanted Pump to go. The pumpkin head only occasionally took his advice as Whitty sat to the other end of the couch watching the 2 out of the corner of his eye with a smirk, he was clearly much farther ahead then Pump with him being in 2nd place and Pump being in 8th. The only reason why he wasn’t in 1st already was because of the stupid Metal Mario character, who was practically cheating, and wouldn’t let him pass and it was starting to get slightly annoying.

   They went through a couple rounds, Whitty never losing while Skid and Pump passed it back and forth repeatedly. Though he noticed that, thankfully, they were no longer watching him so intently, that was a relief. He began to relax a bit, reminding himself that they were just children and he was much bigger and stronger than them. ‘C’mon, relax! They’re just children, stop being so paranoid.’ he thought to himself as he tried to focus more on the game then his own thoughts, he turned a sharp corner and nearly cursed when his avatar, Bowser Jr., almost went flying off the track. He managed to catch himself at the last second and made a slick recovery. However, hearing a sudden bark of a laugh paired with a whoop from the Spooky Duo didn’t make him feel so confident. He glanced at their side of the screen and noticed they had a blue spiked shell in their avatar’s hand. “Oh shit..” he muttered upon seeing it. Quickly, he slammed the breaks and let Metal Mario, someone he had just managed to pass, go ahead of him just as the shell went blazing by. He sighed with relief, glad it hadn’t hit him.

   “Aww, c’mon! That was reserved just for you!” Skid blurted, though there was no real agitation behind his words, allowing Whitty to give him a smug smirk and said “I have been playin’ this for a while, kid, I have seen all the stunts you ever even hope to pull.” He kept his eyes glued on the screen, unaware of the glint in their eyes and the small snicker the two exchanged. “You have seen all the stunts we hope to pull, you said?” Skid asked while Pump was still snickering slightly to himself. “Tch, yea, that's what I said.” He stated simply, not really paying attention to what they were trying to say. Until- 

“Now!” “Wha- hey!” Thwump!

The 2 didn’t wait, the game unpaused and still running, they tackled Whitty against the couch, being careful not to hurt him. They had to act quick, they had to! Otherwise, they wouldn’t have any way of getting to him. Before he had time to utter a single syllable, they attacked. Pump and Skid quickly hopping onto his arms to keep them pinned to the couch, they were sill sitting up but he was stretched out enough he might as well have been laying down, and proceeded to quickly skitter their fingers everywhere they could reach; ribs, stomach, sides, neck, somehow under his arms, hips. 

They moved quickly and held on for dear life, moving quickly and shifting their own body weight continuously, from sitting on his arms to his hips and at his side to just either side of him to both on one side-. They went everywhere they could, going all over the place so it would be harder for him to catch them or try to find a pattern and stop them. His laughter was loud, belly laughter. Though not unpleasant, he squirmed the best he could in an attempt to find some way to escape, but with them all over the place it was pretty difficult. 

“BAHAHAhaha! Whahahat are yohou twoho dohoing?? Gehet off mehehe!”

“Its working! Keep going Pump!” Skid called excitedly. Their plan was working! They continued, unintentionally forming a bit of a pattern, but not enough for Whitty to keep up or be able to stop them. He pulled his arms in and attempted to hug himself to protect the majority of his torso from the brunt of it all. His legs kicked out behind the other 2, though he was consciously making sure he couldn’t risk their wellbeing, he had enough self control for that. 

  “Stahahahap geheht ohoff of mehehe!!” he laughed out, attempting to carefully push Pump away from his side while trying to fend off Skid from his stomach. The 2 only giggled with glee, proud in themselves that this was working, and ecstatic that they had finally managed to successfully find a way to tickle their Object headed friend silly. 

 Skid glanced down and an idea popped into his skull, lighting his eyes up with great glee and an idea. Glancing down he noticed that, during his squirming, Whitty’s hoodie had ridden up some, revealing the pitch black, quivering flesh beneath. This was perfect! Taking a deep breath, he wasted no time and plunged his face into that thin like of flesh, pulling his hoodie up a tad for more lee way, and blew.

And by God, the shriek that followed.

 “SHAAAAAHAHAHA-! FAHAHACK OHOFF!!” he exclaimed, his laughter reaching a whole new pitch and in a newfound hysteria. Skid and Pump exchanged a look, man this was awesome!! No one had ever heard the bomb head laugh so hard! Skid proceeded to pepper more raspberries along his stomach, lifting his hoodie up some to spread around the love. Pump continued to tickle along Whitty’s ribs. Though, his curiosity got the best of him, he was aware that some people, like Keith for example, had ticklish hands, and other unusual places, maybe Whitty did too? It was a weird thought and definitely one only Pump would have had, but it was a thought nonetheless that he wanted to experiment on. He pressed a sweet spot into his ribs, earning a startled yelp and a hand planted into his chest in an attempt to push him away. Gently of course. But this gave Pump his window, dropping everything, he wrapped his legs around Whit’s arm for a better hold. Pulling his fingers back, gently of course, and fluttered his own fingers along the palm of his hand, from the ridge to the base.

“*snrk!* heheey! *snrk! *snrk!* Stahahap!!” Pump’s eyes widened, Whitty was snorting?? Oh my God, this child’s mind was blown. Skid had lessened the raspberries and had gone back to scribbling so that their bomb headed friend could go longer without reaching his limit, which explained why his laughter had calmed down some. Skid looked up in surprise and noticed what Pump was doing when an idea of his own came, he gestured for Pump to make a raspberry, The pumpkin headed kid was quick to catch on, before making his way further down the couch. Pump proceeded to bury his mouth into the center of Whitty’s palm. A sudden sort, slightly longer in duration that the previous, could be heard in response. Pump smiled and prepared to do it again when-

Quickly, it was soon followed by Whitty suddenly, bolting upright to emit an almost literal shriek before falling back clutching the couch in an attempt to not kick or struggle too much or hard, throwing his head back in absolute hysterics, his face a bright orange blush. Startled by the sudden reaction, he looked for Skid, finding him holding Whitty’s left ankle in a secure head lock, skittering his fingers along his sole. His other leg kicked out but, for the most part, hung off the side of the couch. There was a very evident struggle in the poor lee as he tried to keep from kicking anyone, or anything, out of reflex to the new found sensations. Pump smiled and, giving his hand one final raspberry, dove down to grab the other foot, giving it the same treatment as SKid was the left. 

“FAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA-!” Unable to form any coherent words or responses to this torment, Whitty was forced to just endure it, he tried to pull away, to break free somehow, but his strength had been dwindled down from earlier. Meaning, he was left to succumb to the maddening sensations at his feet. Throwing his head back as hysterical belly laughter poured from him as freely as a faucet. 

   “Coochie coochie coo~ Whitty! Heehee, your laugh is so loud!” Skid laughed, enjoying the reactions he was getting. “Heheh, yea! Especially when I do this!” Pump agreed, running his fingers under Whitty’s toes momentarily, earning a startled squeal before more peals of bellowing laughter followed. After what felt like an eternity, he felt their hands slow to a stop, releasing him and allowing him a breather. He had to admit, they were good at reading people, they must have noticed when he was beginning to reach his limit and had stopped just when he was really needing a break. He slumped into the couch, pulling his hood over his head, and pulling the laces so it closed around him, thus hiding the massive, practically glowing blush and face splitting smile there. Residual giggles and panting could, however, be easily heard. He pulled his feet away from them and bent his knees so as to tuck them underneath him best he could, his arms dropping onto the couch, going limp. The other 2 smile brightly. Yes, they had been keeping close watch. And both, the entire time in fact, had yet to hear him sound desperate or genuinely angry or upset. If anything, he almost sounded like he was enjoying himself. And the smile Skid could see through the small gap in his hood confirmed it.

   “Heheh, that was fun! We should do that again some time!” Pump giggled with glee, clearly pleased. “Yea! That was fun! Be right back.” Skid said, getting up and making his way to the kitchen, coming back a few seconds later with a glass of cool water in hand, handing it to the exhausted object head that rested on the couch. Whitty sat up enough to be able to drink it, losing the rim of his hood so he could so.

  “Hff hff.. Yohou both suhuck…” he panted, though both could tell there was no real malice in his voice. Upon being able to see his eyes, both smiled brightly. Why?

Because there was a glitter in them, one that reminded them of Keith, who was open about enjoying being tickled. Both could easily tell, seeing that glimmer alone, that he had enjoyed it. And Pump was the first to call it out.

  “Heh, I can tell you liked it, Whits! You look so happy!”

He paused for a second and gulped down that last mouthful of water before correcting the pumpkin head.

“I did not like it!” he protested. Though, the deepening blush on his face told them otherwise.

  Skid chuckled lightly, both still smiling brightly. “You go ahead and rest, Whitty, we’re gonna finish this round and make up all the lost time!” 

  As the 2 sat back down, recollecting the dropped controllers and continued playing, Whitty watched the screen closely as he grumbled to himself. That was humiliating! Taken down and rendered helpless by 2 measly children! Let alone taken down with only tickles! The ghostly after tickles were still there, but he ignored them, they weren’t as bad anymore and were tolerable. ‘But maybe….yea, maybe it… wasn’t so bad..’ he thought to himself, glancing down at the glass he had been given, now only half full. 

…

Yea, he would never admit it. But yea, maybe it was a little fun.

But still, he wasn’t gonna show it. Not by a long shot.

He sat up, a new idea forming in his brain and a smirk with a whole new meaning to it forming on his lips. Slowly he edged his way towards the other 2, setting down his glass and cracking his knuckles as he did. Pump glanced up momentarily to notice this before freezing entirely, his eyes wide and a nervous smile forming on his face as he did. His avatar began to slow down and Skid noticed, “hey, what are you slowing down for, Pum-....oh….heh...h-hello...” Skid looked over and noticed the predatory grin on Whitty’s face as he now towered over them. 

  “U-um, heheh…..bye!” Skid squeaked, dropping his controller on the couch, grabbing Pump’s arm and attempted to get off the couch, to make a bolt for it. But was stopped when he felt an arm wrap around him, pulling both him and Pump into the awaiting lap of the Bomb head above. Pump let out a startled yelp upon the sudden and deft swoop. Both looking up with anticipation and nervousness in their eyes and smiles. And a devious one in Whitty’s.

“Heh, where do you 2 think you’re going? Oh no, you 2 aren’t going anywhere..”  he curled his fingers to make faux claws, looming them over the 2 who now squirmed with anticipation. Oh, revenge was gonna be sweet! “Hope you two are ready, cuz you guys are gonna be stuck here for a long time.”

And he wasn’t joking. In fact, their squeals and laughter could be heard by pedestrians walking by for quite a while.

End!

Hope you enjoyed it! I am not sure of the quality of the end there. But still, hope you enjoyed it!

Thank you for reading!

[jjpmoans]

t’aimer sans cesse

↦ song: Hesitate from Eyes On You 

↦ lyrics: 'Yes, you, why are you making me this confused?/ I don't get you any more' 

↦ word count : 9k+

↦ genre : roommates to lovers

↦ warnings : fluffs, angst if you squint really hard

↦ summary : Park Jinyoung. You. Jeong Jaehyun. As complicated as it seems, you’d be honest when you said, you didn’t expect to be involved in this whole love triangle. Have you been missing signals or have he been sending you absolutely invisible signals? Is your radar broken? How have you not know? How have you been so dense? How long have you been foolishly hurting him?

↦ a/n : Hey everyone! I’m back with a new fic! I’m soo sorry it’s been a drought here on my blog. But i’m back and looks like Mr Jeong is joining us this time~ Anyways, this fic is written for the GOT7 Alive Fest on twitter and if anyone is interested, go check it out on @/GOT7_Alive_2020. They have both artists and writers joining the fest! Most of them post on ao3 and I am probably the only one who post on tumblr. Nevermind that, I hope you love the fic! Thank you for reading!

Morning classes are by far, the most hated part of your schedule. You don’t like waking up early, which explains why you’re not a morning person. You don’t remember when was the last time you met the morning birds and the sunrise since you usually wake up after ten in the morning and the sun is already up. You missed the chirping and the first ray of the morning but you’d trade anything for sleep at the moment. 

“Jinyoung.” you groan when you feel a finger poking your cheek and pinching it. You know it’s him, who else is patient to wake you up? Bambam and Yugyeom have long given up trying to wake you since you refused all their advances, even coaxing you with food. “I don’t want to wake up.”

You heard a few rustling and you exhaled in relief. Perhaps Jinyoung will let you off the hook and let you sleep this once. You don’t have that many morning classes, to be honest. You only have one, and that’s on every Tuesday. Usually you wake up and sign the attendance then go back to sleep since you had online learning for this semester, but since the situation has toned down and the university has reopened, today marks the first day of on-site class. 

“Hey, sleepyhead.” you hear his voice and a few seconds later, you feel your face getting wet and his palm softly applying cold water all over your face. Another dip into the basin and he returns his palm to your face with another round of wiping the cold water all over your face which he carefully presses it on your eyelids. “Wake up. You have class at nine.”

You grumble, turning away from him to continue sleeping but at this moment, you’re almost wide awake after he technically washes your face for you. You can hear Jinyoung chuckling and you’re positive now that he has successfully woken you up. “Urgh. I hate how you wake me up easily.”

“Not my fault that I’m an expert.” he laughs upon seeing you getting out of his bed and into the bathroom. “Hurry up. I’m taking you to breakfast.”

“For what?” you appear again with your toothbrush inside your mouth. 

“To eat, you dummy. Your class ends at eleven and you’d be starving by then.” he picks a book out of your shared bookshelf, flipping it to the page he left before. “Hurry up! I’m giving you ten minutes!”

You stare in disbelief at him and when he sees you’re unmoved, he throws you one of your small pillows to get you moving. “Tik tok, y/n! Move fast!”

“I can’t believe you shove me into the bathroom.” you frown when Jinyoung just laugh at your complaint. He indeed shoved you into the shower after you’ve been standing for too long while brushing your teeth. “We aren’t even late!”

“You’ll thank me later.” Jinyoung grins, walking into the busy cafe. People are getting their first coffee supply of the day and so do you. Jinyoung and you are both coffee people, it just made sense to start the day with a cup of iced Americano.

As usual, Jinyoung will queue up so you can find a seat for both of you while waiting. It’s easy to catch a spot in the cafe during the morning since most people pack to-go breakfast. So you carefully choose a table for two, a bit far from the counter and hidden from the excessive sun exposure but still be able to see people entering the cafe. 

It’s just an unconscious habit of yours, to watch whoever that passes through the door. It’s just amusing to you how most people fall into the same time schedule, about fifty people probably have the same class to attend and twenty seven of them need coffee before class. 

“Here.” a tray of drinks and food appears before you, you make space for Jinyoung to place the drinks out of the tray and put the tray away. It’s so obvious which one of the food is yours and which one is Jinyoung’s. He prefers to have croissants for breakfast while you prefer egg sandwiches since you’ll be fuller and can last until lunch time. “Saw anyone you know?”

You shake your head before taking a big bite of your sandwich, munching them happily. The man before you just laugh at your behaviour, fifteen minutes ago you were wrestling with him to get into the shower and now you’re just behaving like a child, eating her breakfast with joy.

He sees the corner of your lips smudged with the mayo and his heart skips a beat, wondering how can you be so adorable being so messy. He can’t stand someone munching loudly but here he is, watching the corner of your lips moving and the sauce is still there. So he extends his hand, wiping your lips and retracts to lick his thumb back, before going back to eat his own croissant.

You didn’t mind, it’s not actually out of the ordinary. Jinyoung smiles, knowing how comfortable you are with him. Sometimes he wishes you don’t, because right now he just wanted to let you know how badly he’s in love with you. 

But of course he can’t. As best friends, he can’t. His feelings aren’t worth the awkward encounters or the cold treatment you’ll be giving him once you learn that he’s in love with you. 

“Alright so for the assignment partners,” your professor announces, indicating the class is ending in ten minutes. During the quarantine, he has decided that all assignments will be graded individually since the quarantine was expected to run longer. However with the on-site classes coming to life again, he wanted to make the last assignment graded in partners, so that he can actually provide better materials for the lecturers audit session. 

You heard your name being called and you swear your breath hitches when another name follows yours, loud and clear. “Jeong Jaehyun.”

“Oh my god.” your friend next to you gasps, utterly speechless at revelation of your partner. You as well, are shocked and completely blank out. “Oh my god. You got the golden boy.”

“Oh my god.” repeating the phrase over and over again, your friend taps you multiple times and you feel your throat dried. One of the reasons why she’s so excited is because you’ve developed a crush towards the golden boy from the start of the semester and she knows. She, who goes by the name Mina, is your only friend from the same course.  However it was short lived since you only got three classes with him and the quarantine started. Either way, you’ve completely forgotten about your crush until he was brought up again, 

You took Mathematics as an elective just because you thought it was fun and you wanted to try it. Jinyoung couldn’t make it, Psychology students are always packed and you, as the Language student, have too much time to spare.

“Mina. this is insane.” you are having a minor breakdown and Mina isn’t helping, squealing when she sees Jaehyun walking over towards your seat, nudging you not so subtly. “My lord, don’t nudge me like that-”

He stops in front of you and for a second you forget how to breathe, extremely mesmerized by his presence. Here’s why he’s the golden boy.

You knew from a classmate that he comes from the Engineering faculty, taking Mathematics as one of his complementary subjects in order to fulfill his credit hours requirement for this semester. It’s a given that he excels in mathematics as he’s an engineering student but his other achievements make him even more dreamy and absolutely golden. 

Jaehyun is also very popular in sports, he’s one of the baseball club players, the one and only sport club that is making names for your university. It doesn’t need you to attend their matches to know how well he’s been playing. His fame makes up for it. They have been winning almost every match and well, he contributes about two third of the scores. Above all of that, he’s apparently a member of NCT frat, where every single member is magnificently handsome, carved and painted by god himself.

In short, he’s the standard boyfriend you’ll never get.

“Uhm.” okay he has a bit of a flaw — no, not a flaw. Despite how famous he is, he’s apparently an introvert. He gets shy quite easily, more reasons to like him. The tip of his ears will be red if he feels nervous or shy and you don’t know what is cuter than that. “Hey.”

You forgot how to talk just by looking at him. Never would you have thought you’d be able to talk to him, well given the situation and his social status, you have no doubt you’re out of his circle. It’s only when Mina secretly pinches your thigh that you manage to find your voice, clearing your throat to reply to him. “Hi. Sorry, I’ve been so rude. I’m y/n.”

He offers you a smile. Jeong Jaehyun offers you a smile. You can finally die in peace. “I know. I’ve heard a lot of things about you.”

Oh. What is this? How does he know about you? Scratch that, why would he know anything about you?

“Wha- what? Excuse me?”

He chuckles and Mina’s gasp is completely audible to your ears now, you have no idea if Jaehyun catches that. But you know he does, after all his ears won’t lie to him. “I know you. You’re Jinyoung’s girlfriend.”

Even nothing comes out from Mina, you know she’s laughing. Of course, your reputation is affiliated with Jinyoung. There isn’t any person on the campus who doesn’t know about you and Jinyoung. To say you’re Jinyoung’s best friend is absolutely underrated, so they upgraded your status to Jinyoung’s girlfriend. You’re so close to Jinyoung that it made a lot of his fangirls mad. Why? Because just like Jaehyun, Jinyoung is a member of a frat. 

GOT frat specifically.

Things got complicated and you got his fangirls harassing you to the extent of harming you in your own house during your first semester. After much consideration, Jinyoung figured that it is safer for you to stay with him instead. No one will be able to harm you in a frat house, mainly because he is there but also, his members are very protective of you too. 

Hence he got Jaebeom to go to the administration and arranged your residency exchange. You have no idea how Jaebeom managed to convince them since no girls are allowed to reside in an all boys frat. However he powered through and the news spread as fast as they could, making you officially Jinyoung’s girlfriend and off market.

“Lord, not this again.” you mutter quietly but goodness gracious of course he heard it. Jaehyun’s laughter resonates again and this time you decided to just fuck it. “Firstly no, I’m not Jinyoung’s girlfriend. I’m his best friend and I have no idea why people keep saying I’m his girlfriend.”

“Maybe because you act like a couple?” Jaehyun offers his thoughts. Probably it’s true, Jinyoung has a soft spot for you. Maybe because he feels sorry for what you’ve been through, however you don’t mind. You love when Jinyoung is being protective of you. It reminds you of how much he cared for you.

“Yeah. Nevermind that. Do you want to talk about the assignment?” you hate to ruin the moment but you figured he needed to go somewhere and you’re already holding him back. If you want to chit chat, you can do it when you meet for the assignment.

“Oh yes.” he quickly whips out his phone and scans the task given, quickly sliding his phone to your direction. “Okay so I’ve done question no 1 and just need you to look over them in case I did them wrong-”

He- what? He already did the assignment? Screw it, you’re in love with him already.

“So we just need to work on the second question.” he finishes his sentence and looks up to you, flashing his dimples away. Ah right, his deep dimples are exactly the reason why you’ve taken a liking in him. Whenever you have online classes, a strand of his luscious brown hair will naturally parted away from the others, his dimples showing up occasionally when he’s solving questions. Out of every single window on the screen, you’ve been intently watching his window, mesmerized by his good looking face. “I guess we can set the time and place for us to work on this?”

You unconsciously nod, before quickly snapping out of your thoughts. “Yeah, I’m actually fine anywhere. I’ll check my schedules and we can try to set any time for it?”

Jaehyun hums, hesitated before asking, “Will you be comfortable if we do it at my place?”

Another quiet squeal makes you roll your eyes, at this point Mina isn’t trying to be subtle anymore. Jaehyun has been laughing whenever she lets out any kind of noises, which embarrass you even more. “Wait- you mean NCT frat!?”

You can’t believe she just asked that. 

“Wow, y/n. Spare me some of your luck, please.” she tugs on your arms to which you shrug her off easily.

“Shut up.” you tell her before catching Jaehyun’s attention again. “I’m okay with NCT frat. I’ll text you before I come over?”

“Yeah,” he replies distractedly when his phone shows an incoming voice call, seeming important since he freaks out, whipping his head to the door. “Sorry, the boys are having some meeting and I need to go now.”

He hands you his phone, his dial pad showing up. “Put your number in. I’ll text you.”

If someone ever tells you that Jeong Jaehyun will offer his phone to get your number, even for an assignment, you’d definitely assume that they’re insane and tell them to stop giving you false hope. But now you’re filling your phone number in Jeong Jaehyun’s phone and it feels more like a dream than a reality.

Only when he’s out of the lecture hall that you’re able to breathe, accompanied by Mina’s never ending teasing. Lord, why are you being extra kind today?

Unknown Hey it’s Jaehyun :)

You almost drop your phone before making unrealistic noises, your heart jumping in joy. You don’t wish to disturb Jinyoung who’s studying at his table but this calls for celebration. 

“Oh my god!” you decided to let it loose and quickly dance in the middle of your room out of giddiness. Jeong Jaehyun has officially texted you and he’s waiting for you to reply. “Oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh!!”

Jinyoung stares at your dancing figure with an eyebrow raised, his pen in between his teeth. To say that your sudden dance abnormal is an understatement, he’s been watching you do even crazier and dumber things in the middle of the night during examination weeks but that’s out of stress. So he lets you cool down – not really since you’re still grinning while holding your phone. Definitely, something is wrong.

“Wait how do I reply-” you fumble with your keyboard, thinking of a proper sentence. It’s been three minutes since his text and it’s the perfect time to reply back. You have to act like you didn’t wait for him to reply.

Y/n Hi! Yeap, y/n here.

What do you say more? Did the meeting go well?

You contemplate writing another sentence when his reply comes in, startling you in the process.

Unknown Have you checked your schedule? What day are you free?

Y/n I did and I am free on monday and wednesday afternoon, then friday evening. Hbu?

Unknown Oh crap. I’m only free on wednesday evening 

Golden boy curses too? Oohh, hot.

Y/n Uh… I don’t mind doing it on the weekend? If you don’t have practise or anything.

Unknown Unfortunately [Sticker] I have baseball practice in the morning. But

Y/n But what

Unknown Can we make it at night? We can do the assignment in the next two weeks.  I have an upcoming submission and I’m fully booked this weekend. I’m sorry I promise you I’ll provide you snacks.

Y/n What am I? Five years old? [Sticker] I don’t mind. The due date is still far away.

Unknown Oh so you don’t want snacks?

Y/n Shut up. Give me McDonalds.

Unknown Deal. A princess will get what princess wants.

Your heart skips a beat. He calls you princess? From the first text? This sounds like a frat boy attitude. For a moment you laugh at yourself, of course he is. He’s technically a frat boy.

“Okay you’re creeping me out.” Jinyoung finally stands up from his study table and proceeds to sit on his bed. Your study table is next to his bed while his study table is at the foot of his bed. “You’ve been smiling creepily while texting. Who’re you texting with?”

You quickly reply to Jaehyun with a sticker and lock your phone, facing Jinyoung who’s still confused about what’s going on. You can’t handle this alone and you need to tell Jinyoung. If anything, Jinyoung is the first person that shall know.

“You know Jeong Jaehyun?”

He gives you an incredulous look, of course, who doesn’t know Jeong Jaehyun? One must be blind and deaf if they don’t know the golden boy. “Really? You’re asking me this now?”

You dismiss him immediately, moving to sit next to him on his bed. “He texted me.”

“He texted you?”

“Yes!” you almost screamed at him but hold back and throw yourself on his pillow, kicking the air. “We got partnered for an assignment and he texted me!”

Jinyoung is absolutely clueless because he stares at you again, confused. “So? Why are you so happy about it?”

“Oh god Jinyoung! You don’t understand!”

“Then tell me! And for god sake stop kicking already!”

You sit back up and watch Jinyoung carefully, before explaining, “Jinyoung. A handsome boy, from NCT frat texted me. And he’s not just any NCT member, he’s the golden boy. The standard boyfriend-you’ll-never-have. The Jeong Jaehyun.”

“And he texted me. And he calls me princess!” You watch Jinyoung’s face contorted with disgust and you push him away roughly. He would never understand. He’s not having a crush on Jaehyun.

“So what? I can call you princess too. What’s so special?” Jinyoung has now moved higher on the bed and his hands are crossed. This is why you need a girl best friend. When you have a boy best friend they are so dumb and they can’t understand this joy.

“Oh god. Because he’s so dreamy and I got a crush on him!” you lunge towards Jinyoung and shake him, forcing the information to sink inside his brain. “My crush just called me princess, can you believe it!!???”

“You have a crush on Jaehyun?”

“Urgh. You’re so slow.” you get up and reach for the door, yanking it open. “I’m going to Jackson. He’ll be more enthusiastic to listen to my story than you.”

You close the door and leave Jinyoung alone, stoned and unmoved on his bed.

You didn’t realise it but the previous sentence left Jinyoung speechless, sending him into a shock.

You like Jeong Jaehyun? Oh shit. Jinyoung is in a deep deep shit.

“Hi.” the door opens, revealing Johnny who looks like he’s been expecting you for a while. 

“Oh! Y/n!” he screams, well not screaming but definitely a higher octave than usual conversation tone. “Come in! Jaehyun told us that you’re coming over.”

Like you have agreed, Jaehyun invites you to come over two weeks after You enter the house, a fresh smell greeting you softly. The layout of the frat is just like yours, except that it is bigger, well to accommodate 21 people in one house. There’s only a few minor differences from your house, like how the kitchen and the living room looks extremely bigger.

You spot someone at the kitchen and you nod timidly, showing your respect in someone’s house. Lord, you feel overwhelmed.

“Who’s at the door- oh!” a high pitched tone yell from the fridge and you see Lucas hugging a jar of milk, probably taking it out. “Jaehyun hyung! Your pretty partner is here!”

You blush at the nickname, quickly trail behind Johnny who offers to send you to Jaehyun’s room. You agree, you can’t possibly manage to find his room by yourself. Actually, you take your words back. This house has a different layout than GOT’s frat, definitely you won’t trust yourself around here. One mistake and you’d probably end up in a room with at least three naked men.

“I have no idea why you’d yell, Lucas.” Johnny comments, ascending the stairs. “Jaehyun can’t even hear you.”

“I know. I just want to call her pretty.”

“Oh god.” your face reddens when Lucas continues to tease you that by the time you reach Jaehyun’s room, you’re as bright as a tomato.

“Heyyy you’re here- wow what happened? Why are you so red?” as soon as he opens his door, Jaehyun bends over to see your reddening face, scanning for any suspicious injury. Johnny however, starts laughing and he’s lucky you just met him today or else you’d already jab him with your fist. “Come one, Johnny. Who did this to her?”

“Lucas that kid. He’s teasing her all the way up the stairs.”

“Oh.” Jaehyun laughs as well, beckoning you to enter his room. “Shut that one up for me.”

“Aite, golden boy.”

You manage to tone down your redness after fanning it while watching Jaehyun’s minimally decorated room, all in black and white, three beds lining up next to each other, the study table at one corner and their closet at the other end. It’s a big room and with three people living in it, it still has spaces to work on the floor.

“Sorry if you find it messy.” Jaehyun rubs the back of his head sheepishly when you seated yourself on the floor, in front of the folding table that he has prepared. “I forced Jungwoo and Jeno to clean the room since you’re coming over.”

“So if you find anything suspicious, just ignore them okay?” you chuckle at his choice of words, as if you’d probably find something. The whole room looks clean, or so how it looks. You doubt you can find anything.

“I’m serious. I always find questionable things and you don’t want to know what they are.”

“Oh.” now that is something you didn’t think of. You know how they always hold parties and a lot of people come over, but you definitely didn’t think of that. “Okay now I’m afraid to move.”

Jaehyun lets out a hearty laugh, seating himself next to you comfortably. “Don’t worry. Nothing can harm you here.”

“Knock knock!” instead of knocking, Haechan chooses to enunciate the sound and in a split second he opens the door, posing at the door frame. “The delivery man is here and I’m not rich to pay for it.”

Jaehyun sighs as he pulls out his wallet, throwing it to Haechan. “Swipe it.”

You turn to Jaehyun, halting in your calculation. “Did you really order McDonalds?”

“I promised you.” he says softly, looking back at his own paper. “What my princess wants is what my princess gets.”

You swear the air suddenly gets hotter and Jaehyun turns super flirty since his first text. You kept texting back and forth, the awkward texts have long forgotten, now it’s always him asking you about your day and sending memes he found on the internet. 

“Are we flirting now?”

“Depends on how you define flirt.” he smiles and that damn dimples show up again, impossible making you even more giddy. “I’d say, I’m being me.”

“This is how you are?” you look at him up and down, giving him a disapproving look. “Do you flirt with every girl you meet?”

Jaehyun comes closer to you, looking at you straight in the eye. “I’ll have you know one thing.”

“I never bring any girl into the frat. Not even hookups.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t do hookups.”

“But I’m just an assignment partner.”

“Definitely not for me.”

You later learnt that Jaehyun has ordered every single meal on the menu because he doesn’t know what you like. You almost got tricked when you came downstairs and saw the food untouched when all the boys were practically circling the dining table but no one touched anything. It’s only after you picked your burger, fries and drink together with Jaehyun’s food that Haechan sprinted towards the table and started the food war with others.

“You just have to ask me, you know.” you tell him while he walks you home, smiling sheepishly while getting scolded. “You wasted a lot on the meals.”

“It’s not wasting.” he defends himself. “I let everyone eat the remaining. It’s not wasting.”

“Yeah, that’s one thing.”

The walk home is silent, a comforting silent. His house and yours is just a few houses apart but he still insists on sending you home. It feels so short because just in five minutes, you fall in step in front of your house. Tonight, you experience something new. You experience another set of happiness, surrounded by Jaehyun and his friends.

It’s different from being with Jinyoung and the boys, it just feels like it. With GOT frat, you feel like home while with NCT frat, you feel exhilarated.

“Hey.” you hear Jaehyun calls, making you turn to him. “I want to let you know that I enjoy talking to you.”

Your features soften, of course, you like talking to him too. “Same here, Jaehyun.”

He grins, walking backwards. “Talk to you later!”

“Good night pretty girl!” you shush him when he shouts a bit too loud. He laughs, running to his house while screaming the same sentence, absolutely madness. You love talking to him, perhaps a bit more than he does.

“Jinyoung.” he calls, trying to shake the said male into reality. However he gives no response, staring into space making Jaebeom sigh in frustration. “Stop making that face. It’s obvious enough that you’re jealous.”

“What face?” Jinyoung glares, putting his Americano cup down and exhales shakily. He knows what kind of face Jaebeom was referring to. His annoyed face. “I am not jealous.”

“Oh really? Geez, I would never know,” Jaebeom rolls his eyes sarcastically. If looks can slice, Jaehyun must have been slaughtered by the Jinyoung’s total concentration water breathing form and poof! He’d be a verified demon slayer. 

“Shut up.” It’s been an hour and you are still there, sitting at the table by the window, talking to Jaehyun. He has been eyeing you since you entered the cafe and was about to call for you but realised that a certain male has followed you after, seating both of you further from people. He’s not mad, no. He’s a tad bit sad. He doesn’t like this unsettling feeling and it hurts even more when he sees Jaehyun’s concentrated eyes gazing on you.

He knows that gaze. That’s just how he looks at you.

Ever since you first told him that Jaehyun texted you, something has changed. You start spending less and less time with him and more time with Jaehyun. You start waking early and rush downstairs, just to go on a morning walk with Jaehyun. At night when it’s supposed to be your time with Jinyoung, you’d spend it talking to Jaehyun, if not texting all night.

You haven’t realised it but Jinyoung is extremely jealous. 

He never had you that enthusiastic with him. You’re always you, nothing special you’d change just for Jinyoung. And the thought of it makes him sad, sad that he’s actually just a friend. 

“I think you should tell her, you know.” Jaebeom starts. Ever since you revealed that you had a crush on Jaehyun, Jinyoung has been constantly broken. It’s like you pressed a switch inside his brain and he malfunctioned himself. It’s rare to see Jinyoung acting out of character but this is what love does to people. It made you go insane. “What’s the point of torturing yourself watching the woman you love talking to another handsome man with heart shooting out of her eyes?”

“So you agree he’s handsome?”

“Jinyoung.” Jaebeom shakes his head exaggeratedly. “It’s Jeong Jaehyun we’re talking about. We all know that NCT house has some magic shit going around because every single member from that frat is drop dead hot and handsome. Now don’t avoid this. Tell her before it’s too late.”

Jinyoung has officially gone blank. He wanted to tell her, he really does. Jinyoung can’t count those nights where he has drawn a perfect plan in his mind, watching you sleep while mouthing unsaid words to you. He really wanted to tell you that he loves you. He had been in love with you for so long, he has forgotten when exactly he harboured his feelings for you. All he knows, one day he woke up and he felt his heart threatened to burst at the sight of you. 

However every single plan has its flaws and Jinyoung’s plan involves throwing your friendship into the mix. If only he’s not afraid to risk your friendship, he would have tried his damn luck. He would have confessed and he wouldn’t give any damn whether you’d be awkward or not. Things will be easier if he has no attachment. Yet, this attachment is the thinnest line he wouldn’t dare to cross.

“I can’t, Beom-ah.” he sounds helpless, the most helpless Jaebeom ever heard and they are childhood friends. He knew Jinyoung since they were eleven and nothing, nothing  ever broke Jinyoung this bad. Jinyoung is never a quitter but this time, Jaebeom sees him quitting. “I can’t risk our friendship, Jaebeom. I can’t. I can handle her fawning over someone else but I can’t afford being apart from her.”

Jinyoung is never helpless but somehow, he’s helpless when it comes to you.

“So you’re going to let her date Jaehyun?” Jaebeom, though his heart wrenches seeing Jinyoung so broken, he’s not going to let Jinyoung give up. “Because I’m telling you, Jinyoung. Jaehyun isn’t playing. We know how someone looks when they’re in love. I’ve seen it on you and believe me or not, I saw it on Jaehyun.”

Jinyoung has never been unconfident. He’s always that one student who is constantly positive that it will turn out well in the end. He believes that even if it’s bad now, it will be better soon. Beat him but now, he sees nothing like that. He can’t bring himself to think that if he confesses to you it will turn out good. That even if something happens, even if you distance yourself from him, you will be okay in the end.

Because it won’t.

“Tell her before it’s too late please.” half pleading, Jaebeom just can’t see his friend being this lost. “Tell her even if it risks your relationship.”

“What if I lose her?” he can’t answer that, of course Jaebeom can’t. It’s not his place to make an escape plan, it certainly is not his place to come up with your answer. But there’s one thing he is sure of.

“Then she certainly doesn’t deserve you.” 

“I need to talk to you.” Jinyoung starts, watching you focusing on your screen. Like always, you are grinning, probably laughing at some TikTok videos that Jaehyun sent you. 

“One second, Jinyoung.” you quickly type a reply and lock the phone, setting it face down. Another thing that has changed ever since you started talking to Jaehyun. Before, you had nothing to hide but now? Jinyoung doesn’t know you anymore.

You’re now totally focused on him, your eyes staring straight into his eyes but it’s different. It doesn’t feel the same. It feels like you’re someone else. You’re not his girl anymore. 

“Jinyoung?”

“Hm?” it’s bothering him how foreign his name comes out from you. It’s been a month and if he counts, you probably utter his name only twice a day. “Oh yes. The talk.”

You are sitting cross legged on your chair, waiting patiently for Jinyoung to start. You realised it too, that you’ve been spending less time with Jinyoung. You do feel sorry for him and you have an inkling that he wanted to talk to you about it. Jinyoung rarely needs to have a talk with you unless he feels bothered, and now you can see how bothered he is.

Taking a look at him, you suddenly feel your heart wrenches. How long have you stopped giving attention to Jinyoung? He has this frown on his face now, sometime you never see before. His hair is a bit longer and his hair colour is a lighter shade of brown. 

Who dyed his hair for him? After all, it must have not been you, since you’re busy hanging out with Jaehyun. But usually, you dyed his hair for him, saying you’re the only one who knows how to dye hair properly. Now that you look back, this concern is probably bigger than you expected.

You’ve abandoned your best friend and you knew about it but you did nothing.

“Uhm.” Jinyoung clears his throat, snapping you out of your trance. “I don’t think it’s like- like a big concern.”

“And you know I don’t like complaining either.” he stops, gulping nervously as he continues, “I just feel like we’re too far away.”

“I came home and we’re roommates but I can’t feel you here.”

“You’re so near yet so far.”

You know it will hurt. You know Jinyoung’s choice of words are already the softest he would have chosen, yet it stings. It reminds you of how ungrateful you are, leaving him for someone you have a crush on. He is telling you how he is sad, sad that he gets nothing like before. Your attention is now unavailable for him. It hurts him and now he’s projecting them in words.

Now it hurts you.

“I’m sorry if you feel like I’m demanding. But I just don’t know you anymore. I don’t know how you are, or what you ate for lunch. We’re drifting apart and it hurts me.” he continues as you stay silent, feeling the guilt eating you alive. “I know you have someone new…..yet is it so easy to leave me behind?”

Jinyoung is officially breaking apart. He feels like he’s childish, pouring his heart out but this is about him. This is him demanding you to be fair. He can’t stop you from liking Jaehyun, he can’t force you to love him back. He just wanted to remind you that he’s there. He’s there and please do something. 

“Jinyoung.” your voice cracks, slowly the tears fall on your cheek. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m so sorry I made you feel this way. I was too blinded by the newfound happiness and I forgot you. I forgot you who have constantly made me happy.”

“I’m so sorry.” you cried harder, reaching Jinyoung and hugging him. “I’m so sorry I made you feel this way.”

You feel his body shakes and you know he’s holding back from crying. You hated yourself for making Jinyoung cry. 

Jinyoung isn’t weak, no he isn’t. He’s been too strong that it breaks his limit. He wanted to let go. He wanted to let go for once and he’ll be fine. If nothing goes right after tonight, he’s done tolerating. 

A few quiet sobs and some awful jokes later, both of you are lying on Jinyoung’s bed, holding each other close. 

“Jinyoung.”

“Hm?”

“Can I sleep with you here tonight?” you ask Jinyoung, rubbing his arm. It’s been too long since you sleep in his bed and now you feel nostalgic. You’re overreacting but really, it feels too long. 

“I thought you’re going to talk to Jaehyun?” he teases, earning himself a slap on his chest. “Ow! What was that for?”

You laugh, settling yourself comfortably in his embrace. “Say Jinyoung.”

“Hm, what?”

“Do you approve Jaehyun?”

He looks down to you, questioning eyes boring into yours. You know it’s too soon, you know perhaps it’s not the best time to bring it up. But you just want to know his answer.

“For what?”

“To be my boyfriend.”

Jinyoung wakes up feeling empty, his eyes stare blankly at the ceiling. You’re still sleeping in his arm yet he has this unsettling feeling inside him. Recalling your last question before you sleep, he inhales a deep breath.

Will you be happy? Will his approval make you happy?

Jaehyun is a nice guy, Jinyoung knows that. Looks aside, he has full potential to be the best boyfriend for you. Jaehyun is caring and also when he loves, he’ll love you to the fullest. It’s not a problem to approve Jaehyun, he won’t hesitate if that’s the only case.

However it’s not.

Will Jinyoung be happy with his decision? It feels like the burden has increased tremendously, from jealousy to pain in just one night. It seems like the one month is just a trial for Jinyoung, now he needs to be prepared to lose you for good.

With his fingers raking your locks, he watches you sleep soundly. This is probably the last time he watches you sleeping in his embrace. This is probably the last time he’ll see you wake up in his arms.

Lord, can you help me stop the time?

“Nope.” 

“Jaebeom-”

“Nope. I won’t let you be as stupid as you are.”

Jinyoung lifts his eyebrows, offended by Jaebeom’s statement. He’s just offering a suggestion yet Jaebeom calls him dumb? “Hey! What do you mean as stupid as I am?”

“Jinyoung.” Jaebeom sighs exaggeratedly, holding Jinyoung’s shoulder in place. “When I told you tell her, I mean tell her your feelings your dumb ass. Not just telling her how you feel when she forgot about you!”

“I’m not a dumb ass.”

“Well you look like that to me now.” It’s another evening where you went over to Jaehyun place to finish the assignment and Jaebeom has no other way than to confront Jinyoung about how weird both of you have been.

Yes, both of you have been weird. Specifically, Jinyoung.

The morning you woke up in his embrace, you didn’t notice something was off. Probably because you forgot how it felt waking up with Jinyoung but definitely, Jinyoung was different. As if he had a switch in him, he started avoiding you, keeping your conversation minimal.

You thought it’s just you but one day Jackson asked you why you were both eating separately, one person at the other end of the table, then you realised that Jinyoung had avoided you. Yes, he made it subtle and you never noticed it until someone pointed it out.

Jinyoung still let you sleep with him and still woke you up like any other morning. He just doesn’t talk as much as he did before. And you brush it off, thinking it as another awkward change that you brought upon your friendship.

“You’re not a dumb ass?” Jaebeom asks. “Y/n has been at Jaehyun’s for hours and you’re still here, like a wife waiting for her cheater husband? Oh you’re just unable to think rationally.”

“Shut up. She’s not a cheater.”

Jaebeom had enough of these awkward encounters. It seems like none of you figured this thing out and he needs his lively frat back again. “Then I suggest you do something about y/n. It’s almost eleven and she’s not home yet.”

“Like what?” Jinyoung is now irritated. He doesn’t have any control over what you’re doing and even if he wants to, he can’t. “I’m not her boyfriend.”

“And Jaehyun is not her boyfriend either. So go get her.”

“What?”

“You heard me. As the house leader, I’m ordering you to get her ass from that NCT frat and bring her home.”

“She can come home by herself. Jaehyun will walk her home.”

“Park Jinyoung.” Jaebeom grits his teeth, pulling the said man towards the door and without hesitation, throws him out of the house. “Don’t let me put up ‘No Jaehyun is allowed’ in front of the door. Go fetch her home by 12. I mean it, Park.”

Then Jaebeom slams the door shut, locking it from inside. Though Jinyoung clearly has the key, he knows Jaebeom probably locked the door using the other lock instead. So he stood outside, leaning against the wall.

What is he going to do? Knock on NCT frat and ask for you? No shit he’s not going to look like a desperate man. 

But indeed, Jaebeom is right. Jaehyun is not your boyfriend either and he has a valid reason to be worried and to go get you at his house which is only five minutes away. Yeap, valid.

“I must have gone crazy.” Jinyoung mutters as he exits the compound and starts walking on the sidewalk in a painfully slow pace. “I must’ve looked crazy too.”

Five minutes turns fifteen, courtesy of Jinyoung walking around the neighbourhood and standing like a stool against the lamp post, contemplating whether he’s going to knock on the door or not.

“Well.” he sighs, walking up the NCT house and stands nervously in front of their door. “Aite, fuck this.” he knocks, slow at first but gradually the third knock is loud, followed by fourth and fifth. He did it on purpose, he knows how boys can be. Yugyeom and Bambam can be so focused while watching Netflix that they can’t even hear any other noises.

Jinyoung fiddles with his hoodie sleeves, his heart beating nervously as he waits for someone to get the door.

“Who is- oh, Jinyoung!” Thank god, Taeyong shows up, not Lucas or Jaemin or else Jinyoung would have a hard time being less suspicious. “Why are you here?”

Now that’s another hard question? Does he simply say ‘well my roommate is here and it’s already 11.20 and why the fuck is she still here’? Or does he say ‘i’m jealous so i’m picking up my girl’? Nope. Nope.

“Uh. Is y/n here?” He hopes he doesn’t sound like a desperate man asking for his crush’s whereabouts because he feels like he’s one. “It’s- it’s 11.20 and uh Jaebeom is kinda mad? She’s not yet back.”

Taeyong takes like- 30 seconds to let the information sink in, before frantically shouting for Jaehyun. “Jaehyun! Tell y/n that Jinyoung is here to bring her home!”

An awkward silence follows him, well of course it’s awkward. All pairs of eyes are watching him from all directions, curious of why he’s here to bring her home? You have been patronising this house for like, two months now and suddenly he’s here to remind her of her curfew?

He hears you come down the stairs, shock paints your face as you see him at the door. Firstly, well since Jinyoung avoided you, you don’t know why he suddenly came to take you home. Secondly, since when do you need someone to take you home?

“Jinyoung.” you reach the door, Jaehyun trailing behind you equally as confused. “Why are you here?”

The amount of ‘why are you here’ irks him that by the time you ask him the same question, he feels like his blood is boiling. Why is it so hard to believe that he’s here to take you home? Don’t you realise what time is it already? Why are you still at Jaehyun’s? These voices inside his head are shouting at the same time and he just- can’t stop himself anymore.

“Why? I can’t come here now?” his question, as soft as he wanted to sound, didn’t come out well. It sounds plainly rude, like he’s picking a fight with you. “Do you know what time it is?”

“Not that. I’m just confused.”

“Jaebeom told me to come and get you.”

“But I can go home by myself.” you point at Jaehyun behind you, who stays silent between your conversation. “Jaehyun can walk me home.”

At this point, Jinyoung feels anger bubbling up inside him and if everyone squints really really hard, one can see that his jugular vein almost pops. All this ‘Jaehyun this and Jaehyun that’ is starting to get to him and honestly? He’s tired of listening to it.

“Can we just go home?” as much as he wants to scream at everyone, he doesn’t want to make a mess at someone’s frat. He knows how Jaebeom works hard to maintain a good relationship with other frats and how hard it is to clean after messes. “I don’t think we should be having this conversation here.”

You silently agree, bidding the boys goodbye and step out of the house. Jaehyun’s eyes follow you worriedly, as if he knows that you’d probably end up fighting with Jinyoung.

In your eyes, Jinyoung is irritated by the fact that you asked too many questions but in Jaehyun’s eyes, he recognises those emotions as anger and jealousy. He’s been asking you about your true relationship with Jinyoung, knowing that it’s impossible for one to be that close without any feeling involved. Tonight, he found out why. 

Jinyoung is in love with you.

“Taeyong.” he whispers while watching both of you getting further away from his house. “Fuck, Taeyong.”

“What?”

“I messed up.”

“What??” how come Jaehyun didn’t realise it from the start? Of course, when he first got close to you, he thought that you and Jinyoung are just best friends and given he never really gets to talk to Jinyoung, well he just didn’t think of that.

“Taeyong.” his frantic eyes find Taeyong, who is as clueless as ever. “Jinyoung loves y/n.”

The leader’s vision switches to the couple on the street, looking at them with wide eyes. “Oh fuck.”

“I don’t understand him!” you throw your hands, ruffling your hair. It’s been four days and Jinyoung avoided you like a plague, refusing to talk to you even if you cornered him every time you got him. “He’s like, really confusing.”

Jaehyun bites the apple, listening to your story intently. You have told him through texts but here you are again, ranting about how Jinyoung is the most useless communicator and it’s impossible to take the words out of him if he decided to give you cold treatment.

“So you said he’s been weird after you asked him if he approves me to be your boyfriend?” he asks again, making sure he had his point right. Just like four days ago, Jaehyun has concluded that Jinyoung indeed, has been in love with you for so long but you’re just dense to realise it. It’s been proven true, you have the audacity to ask Jinyoung about it and not feel guilty at all.

“Yeah.” you sit on the foot of Jaehyun’s bed, settling yourself comfortably. You hang out more at Jaehyun since Jinyoung looks like he’s about to become mute whenever he sees you in the house. You figured you could give him some space. “I’m so confused right now.”

Jaehyun nudges you with his foot, making you look right up to him. Jaehyun has been too comfortable with you, becoming close just after two months. He’s at that stage where he just calls you with his feet now. 

“You wanna know what I think?”

“What?”

“I think that Jinyoung is in love with you.”

“What the-” Shock is not enough to portray your feelings right now. It’s a mixture of shock, disbelief and suspicions. You don’t know if Jaehyun is playing around because right at this moment, his face shows no hint of joking. “Jaehyun! It’s not funny!”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes, annoyed with your ignorance. You’re the most clueless person he ever knows, and he knows Mark Lee! “Girl, listen to me.”

“What did Jinyoung say when you said I texted you?”

“He said, ‘so?’”

“And what did he say when you said you like me?”

“Is this another session to feed your ego?” you don’t trust Jaehyun, he has a lot up in his sleeves and you just knew him for two months. “I fed your ego too much, don’t you think so?”

“Shut up and answer me. What did he say?”

You roll your eyes. “He said nothing. Why are we doing this?”

“What did he reply when you ask about me being your boyfriend?”

“He didn’t reply. God, I don’t know where you are going with this conversation.”

Jaehyun takes another bite of his apple, munching while talking at the same time. “You see, he didn’t reply when you told him you like me. That’s fine, maybe he didn’t care. But when you ask him about me being your boyfriend, why didn’t he answer right away?”

“Well-”

“Because he doesn’t want to! Come on, Jinyoung can’t possibly tell you no right? You’d be too nosy and asked why.”

“Hey!”

“So what I think is, he likes you.” Jaehyun concludes, snapping his fingers in triumph. “Now the real question is, do you like him back?”

You shut up, eyes running away from Jaehyun’s. You don’t know, well you have no idea. You never thought about liking Jinyoung because you don’t want to risk your friendship. It might have crossed your mind a few times but you ignored the curiosity, you figured it’s the best to stay being friends.

Not that you don’t want to invest your feelings in Jinyoung, you’re just too afraid that it will backfire you. You don’t like rejection and you certainly don’t want to become awkward afterward.

“I don’t know.” you answer truthfully because really, you don’t know.

“Then find it out.”

You close the door to your room, putting down your bag on the floor and sit down on your bed. Jinyoung is at his study table, unmoved.

“How long are you going to give me cold shoulders, Jinyoung?” you ask, your feet kicking the air. You know he’s listening, even if he has his earphones in. That’s just Jinyoung style, to wear earphones so that no one bothers him, especially Jackson. Whenever Jackson comes over, he’d retreat when he sees Jinyoung stuffing them in his ears. “I know you can hear me, Jinyoung.”

“Let’s not fight anymore.” you look down, suddenly you feel sad. You feel like you’re losing Jinyoung. Is this what Jinyoung feels before? So near yet so far?

“It’s been hard without you, Jinyoung.” 

“The mornings are extremely cold without your laugh and the lunch is plain without you cracking up lame jokes. Dinner is boring because you avoided me and night…the nights are even colder without your hugs.”

“I know you’d say, ‘so what? You have Jaehyun so go and ask him to eat with you, crack up lame jokes and give you hugs.’ but I don’t want Jaehyun. I want you.”

Jinyoung has stopped writing, listening to you intently. You noticed this, which is why you continue, “Jaehyun told me that he thinks you like me.”

You didn’t realise it but Jinyoung stiffens at the mention of his crush on you, catching him off guard. He knows that someone will eventually tell you about this but he definitely didn’t think of Jaehyun of all people.

“I don’t know if it’s true. Jaehyun isn’t exactly the best fortune teller so I definitely can’t gamble with his words.”

“I just want you to know that you’re extremely important in my life. I never thought of putting you second just because I found someone new. In fact, I decided that I’ll stay as friends with Jaehyun, I don’t find him that attractive anymore.”

You stand up and walk over to his side, sitting on his bed just beside him, forcing him to face you. “So if that’s the case, can you please stop being jealous now? I don’t have anything to do with Jaehyun. We are not dating and can I please have my Jinyoung back?”

Jinyoung is frowning, his eyes scan you from the top to the bottom. “You don’t find him attractive anymore? Really?”

“Well-” you grin, crinkling your nose up playfully. “He’s still handsome. I can’t deny that.”

You feel more at ease, now that you’ve told Jinyoung what you’ve been wanting to tell him. It feels lighter, your brain and your heart. You hated the days where Jinyoung ignored you and you’re left imagining what you would do without him in your life. The thought alone scares you, the fact that you’ve been so comfortable with Jinyoung beside you and you never thought he’ll leave you for someone else someday.

“So you still like him.” Jinyoung confirms and turns around to his note again, picking up his pen. 

You scream, pulling him away from his work and tugs him nearer, trying to have all his attention on you. Jinyoung struggles to escape from your grips but fails miserably, laughing along the way. You join him, laughing together as you bring him nearer.

“Let me go, oh god. Since when you’re so strong?” he wrestles his way out of your grip again, hoisting you up and throws you on the bed easily. “Did you practise lifting Jaehyun’s dumbbells?”

“Yeah, I went there to exercise.” you reply deadpanned and laugh when Jinyoung tickles you as a revenge.

“Hey.” you call out, trying to get his attention again. Jinyoung’s arms have you caged, he’s on top of you while you lie comfortably on his bed. “Is it true?”

“What is?” Jinyoung’s eyes rake you face up and down, like how his thoughts are running wild inside his brain. He doesn’t know what to do, does he confess now? Does he confirm that it’s true? Does it mean you’ll be his? Can he do that? Can he kiss you?

“Is it true that you like me?” just as Jinyoung, you’re nervous. You’re conflicted. What if he doesn’t actually like you? What is Jaehyun really bad at guessing? You’re not surprised, nothing surprises you about Jaehyun anymore.

“What if it’s true?” 

“I’d be so happy.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve been thinking for a while and I don’t think i can ever end up with someone else other than you.”

“Oh yeah?” Jinyoung’s heart stops at your confession, then beats harder as he feels his adrenaline pumping his blood faster. “Can I kiss you now?”

You shake your head, watching Jinyoung’s eyes grow and a cute frown appears on his face. You wanted to laugh but you held back, looking straight into his eyes.

“Why not?”

“You haven’t said you like me.”

“Oh my god.” he curses, turning away from you when he feels his face grows hotter. “Fuck- fine. I like you. Are you satisfied?”

You laugh, nodding furiously. Jinyoung doesn’t waste any more seconds, diving right then to press his plump lips to yours, taking the perfect shape of your lips in his. 

Finally. His mind says, Fucking finally.

“God. finally.” he mutters to himself, somewhat trying to convince himself that indeed, he’s kissing you. “Oh god.”

“Do you know how long I have been dying to kiss you?” he reaches down to press another kiss on your temple, another on your cheeks, nose and your chin, then pressing the last one on your lips once again.

You chuckle under him, pressing your palms on his chest to hold him. “How long?”

“Too long, I’ve forgotten already.” his reply earns another laugh from you. 

Jinyoung moves to lie beside you, watching you play with the string of his hoodie. It’s funny how time works. About fifteen minutes ago you’re sitting on your bed, trying to fix things up and now you’re lying beside him after he kissed you breathless.

“I thought you’re dating Jaehyun.” he did. He really thought that after what happened, you’d hate him. “I hated myself for screaming at you.”

A strand of his hair falls on his forehead and you reach to swipe it away, pushing his locks behind. “Yeah, you’re quite rude.”

“Very rude.”

“I thought our friendship is ending.” you confess, eyes on his chest instead of his face. “I thought it’s the end of us. That you got fed up with me.”

“Then it turns out that you’re just a jealous boy.”

Jinyoung pushes your chin up, making you face him. “Just a jealous boy? You didn’t know how jealous I am when everything is about Jaehyun! Have you ever heard I talk about other girls? No right? See who’s rude now?”

Another laugh escapes you and you caress his face, calming him down. “I didn’t know, okay. I thought you were fine with it.”

“Yeah right.”

“But we’re here now, right? You don’t have to be jealous anymore.”

“Really?” Jinyoung’s finger finds your lock, playing with the strand. “Do you like me too?”

You really want to make him suffer a bit. Just a bit since he’s being a pain in the ass for ignoring you for one week straight. 

“Hmm, I need to think about that again.” you grin, sending Jinyoung into a series of screams.

“What the- out!” he pushes you off his bed with you hanging onto him while your laugh fills the room. “Get out of my bed!”

“Oh my god. I can’t believe you! Did you just play me?”

“Is my feeling that easy?”

“Get out of my bed!”

“Jinyoung!”

“Out!”

You don’t know about your feelings, just yet. But there’s one thing for sure. You love Jinyoung’s kisses. You can deal with that. But his petty ass? That calls for a serious mental discussion.

Copyright © 2020 jjpmoans. All rights reserved

[ Writings ]

#the moans writings #got7creators #jinyoung #jaehyun #jinyoung fanfic #jaehyun fic #jinyoung got7 #got7 jinyoung #jinyoung fluffs #jinyoung angst #jinyoung imagines #got7 jinyoung imagines #got7 jinyoung fanfic #got7 jinyoung fluff #jinyoung got7 fanfic #jinyoung got7 fluffs #GOT7 Alive Fest #jaehyun nct #nct jaehyun #jeong jaehyun #jaehyun fluffs

[newcaptainofsquad9]

I Can’t Handle You Being Back~Chou Tzuyu x black! fem! reader {1}

Pairing: Tzuyu x reader

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 

Summary: Five years after your elimination from Sixteen, you remained in the United States, working on music, writing songs, dancing here, and there. All of the memories and incidents from the reality show still burns in your memory, you all but let them go until you get a familiar call from the man who sought out your talents in the first place, Jinyoung Park. The man had an offer you should have refused, but you longed to see your friends again.

  Genre: Angst, Idol-Verse, Romance, Slow Burn (not too slow), Hurt and Comfort, Best Friends to Lovers

Warnings: The reader is a Black woman and there will be parts when she has to deal with racist and close minded people(aka fans, netizens and others). If ya’ll read my Yoongi story, or unfinished Suho story, it’ll be a little bit like that.

  Word Count: 1, 831

Writer’s Note: More Twice fics are coming! Along with a masterlist of all my K-pop fanfictions! It’ll take a minute but it will be here and pinned on my blog so you guys can access it. Also! I want to point out that this is fictional and fictional depictions of idols and figures, just wanted to put that disclaimer. Here is another fic that will take me forever to finish like my others but regardless of that, I hope ya’ll enjoy!

I never thought I’d set foot in South Korea again, let alone JYPE’s building. The long, stress-inducing ride up the elevator didn’t ease me as I inhaled and exhaled through it. 

“You didn’t have to take this meeting,” Brittany, my assistant said. “We can just site see here in Korea, you need the break anyway.” 

I caught Brittany’s smile as she moved to put a hand on my shoulder. 

“I know being back here, it’s got to be tough,” she said. 

I nodded, yet she doesn’t know the half of it. Being a military kid had some perks: at childhood I couldn’t stop dancing, and at seventeen, people other than my parents began to notice. Those people being K-Pop scouts. They didn’t only come from JYPE, but other companies as well, although the smaller ones didn’t grant the biggest opportunity. 

JYPE was fond of my dance moves, and the man himself, Jinyoung Park promised a shimmering future. Most of the promises fell short: I didn’t get to train for very long (only a few months) before I was thrust upon the spotlight and cameras in the survival show, Sixteen. I wanted to be a star; JYP wanted a laughing stock, a black woman for views and to show his trainees how to accomplish, “ethnic hip.” I tried my best to be as creative as possible, to last with the competition, but it didn’t please JYP. Nothing I did could please him, I wasn’t the standard. I didn’t even come close. So I left, I played a game that many foreigners couldn’t win, let alone a Black woman. 

The elevator dinged as it opened, breaking me out of my mind. 

“We can turn around right now,” Brittany said. “Your call.”

I shook my head. 

“No, let’s just here what he has to say,” I said. “He did pay for our flight and all.” 

“Yeah, but that will never take back what he and that staff put you through,” she said. 

I smile as Brittany put a hand on my shoulder. Her worrying along with me solidifies this; my nerves are warranted. 

“I know, but maybe it’s just the old spirit from back then,” I said. “As if I have a chance to prove myself again.”

I don’t have to though. I told myself over and over again that I don’t. Yet, why am I here? What’s so important that couldn’t be discussed further over phone or video call?

“Ms. Y/L/N?”

My head jerked up once we stepped out of the elevator. A woman with a Bob and suit gave us both a grin.

“Mr. Park’s office is this way,” she said, leading us down the hall. 

As we pass, people murmured and stared. My name was even mentioned underneath breaths and gasps; I nod at them and only bow halfway as we pass. 

We stop at a door, the woman opened it for us and stepped aside. 

“Thank you,” I said.

Once inside JYP’s office, the dread returned. Just seeing Jinyoung Park slumped against his chair brought back more of the horrid memories. Brittany took my hand, forcing me to take a breath as Jinyoung rose. 

“Y/N! I’m so glad you could make it!” he said.

He threw his signature grin on, as he held out his hand. I took it. We shook hands before bowing respectfully.  

“You look well,” he said. “I’m glad to finally see you again.”

“Thank you Mr. Park.”

Jinyoung chuckled and gestured to the seat adjacent to his armchair. 

“Please, sit,” he suggested, he turned to Brittany. “You could take my chair if you’d like.”

I successfully didn’t shiver at how nice he was being, yet Brittany couldn’t: she twitched a bit, but hid it well with a quick grin. 

“Thank you,” she said as she plopped down. 

I leaned back, crossed my legs and got down to business. 

“Why’d you fly me out here, Mr. Park?”

Jinyoung chuckled. 

“Well, I’ve been keeping up with your progress as an artist and well, I’m extremely proud of the growth,” he said. 

Brittany and I traded looks of confusion. 

“Thank you,” I said. “You could have led with that over the phone.”

Jinyoung shifted on each leg before hopping up on the edge of his desk to sit. 

“Y/N, I might have made a mistake about you,” he admitted. “You’ve gained quite the following, and shaped into a fine dancer and vocalist.”

“Thank you,” I said. “What is it that you need from me? Did I not show that potential five years ago?”

Jinyoung frowned. 

“Well, yes, but the world wasn’t ready,” he said. “My colleagues weren’t ready, I wasn’t ready.” 

“What are you suggesting?” I said. 

Jinyoung bared his teeth in a mega-watt smile. 

“I’m suggesting a place for you as Twice’s tenth member.”

My heart quickened at his words; Brittany gasped. Did I hear him right? One of the biggest girl groups in Korea--the world bringing on a tenth member? Another member is already controversial enough in the industry(with the likes of Red Velvet getting hate for adding another a year after debut), but an American? A Black woman? The netizens tore me to shreds once, I couldn’t handle that again. 

“What’s the catch?” Brittany asked. “Out of all the contestants eliminated from Sixteen, why Y/N? This is looking rather performative Mr. Park, welcoming back your only black trainee who dealt with so much racism.”

Jinyoung’s eyes softened a bit. 

“I’m still learning from my mistakes,” he said. “You have every right to decline Y/N, but I need someone to ease Twice in towards the west.”

“Why not Somi!” I said. “There’s your westerner, half white! Very digestible to the western world.” 

Jinyoung nodded.

“True, but K-Pop is changing drastically,” he explained. “And I know Twice can hit the west hard, they can adapt to America with someone who knows it. You played against the American entertainment industry and I know you can with the girls.”

“How are you so sure?” I said. 

“You catch onto choreography quick,” he said. “You’ve done almost every Twice cover online, you’ve been Grammy nominated for songs you’ve written it’s a perfect match.” 

“What about stylists?” Brittany asked. “Have you even notified Twice about this offer?”

“I discussed it with their leader, Jihyo and she’s open to it,” he said. “I’m sure she can ease the others into it, I’ve already explained it to them that we’re working towards the west and they understand that.”

My mind spiraled at the thought of Jihyo; she’s come so far, they’ve all worked so hard. Me joining would just throw a wrench in all they’ve accomplished. 

“All of this sounds great in theory,” Brittany said. “But I change like this could make you lose popularity here in Korea, with the Korean public. You’ll lose fans, they’ll drop like flies.”

Jingyoung shrugged. 

“A risk we’ll take,” he said. “Y/N?”

Brittany gave me a sympathetic stare. 

“If I do this, will I get legal protection against hate comments,” I said. “I would be one of your artists officially, you should treat me like one.”

“Of course,” he said. “Will you take these terms, Y/N?”

Brittany shook her head as she gave me a hard look. 

I shouldn’t accept the terms. It’s just like five years ago all over again; I was tricked into becoming a prop of the industry, but somethings different. Jinyoung could go about various ways of doing this, I know I’ll have more benefits this time. 

“I will, if I have a stylist of my choosing,” I said. “And an American manager.” 

“Done,” Jinyoung said. “We can discuss this further, but I want you to meet up with the girls as soon as possible.”

My body shook at the mention of meeting up with Twice. They were my competition at one point, hell many of them I thought hated me. All except one,  Chou Tzuyu. She and some of the maknaes and I were close due to age, but Tzuyu opened up to me the most. She’s been through so much, they all have. 

“Is there any way I can practice and get to know them again,” I said. “Before we start promoting?”

“That was the plan,” Jinyoung said. “You’d be new to the public and fans, but not to Twice. Like working with an old friend.”

Yeah, an old friend who’s forgotten about you and moved on with their life. This would benefit Twice and I, but is it worth the risk to see them again. To see Tzuyu again.

 *     *      *  

“You’re sure this is the right move?” Brittany asked while our black car rolled down the street. 

Right after the meeting with JYP, he insisted I settle into the dorms and meet up with Twice before training. Brittany and I are now in the back of a car with my new manager, Miyoung

“I’m sure.”

Brittany nudged me. 

“You don’t owe him anything. Why are you doing this?” 

I leaned against my side of the car, letting the rapid speed of each car flash and rip by while my eyes slip close. The memories from five years ago swarmed me: Tzuyu and I practicing from night to morning with sweat clinging to us like newborns; the constant words we’d trade about debuting together and visiting each others countries. Tzuyu’s distraught during my elimination, begging me to stay in Korea for her. Maybe I’m doing this to help her and be there for her, if she accepts me. I can’t admit that to Brittany though, relationships that form during adolescent years don’t really last anyway. At least from what I’ve seen. 

The car came to a halt; we’ve arrived at the dorms. 

I sat up, but sunk back down in my seat as I spot all of Twice standing outside, waiting with their managers. 

“We’re ready when you are Y/N,” Miyoung said. 

She and the driver already stepped out the car with expectant looks at me. 

Brittany took my hand and rubbed my knuckle as I composed myself with a few deep breaths. The moment I stepped out, all of Twice cheered and hurried toward me. Sana was first of course, embracing me so tight that I couldn’t breathe.

“Y/N!” she squealed. 

Nayeon hugged me next, then Jihyo, Chaeyoung, Momo, and Dahyun.

“Finally my fellow ‘98 liner is back,” Dahyun teased, making me chuckle as she lightened my mood.

Joengyeon embraced me a bit too tight as well, pulling back with a tiny grin. 

“You look healthy, that’s great,” she said. 

I nodded and glanced over at Tzuyu, who kept her distance. Our eyes met, yet she didn’t smile or come over for a hug like her fellow members. She only perked her lips and waved. I wanted to scream; I felt like crying but I managed to hold the tears back again. 

Mina must have noticed as she wrapped an arm around my shoulder. 

“Are you OK?” she asked. 

“Yeah,” I lied. “It’s great to see you guys again.” 

#twice #twice kpop #twice scenarios #twice imagines #twice x you #twice x reader #twice x black reader #twice x fem reader #twice x black fem reader #black reader #black female reader #girl group reactions #girl group scenarios #chou tzuyu #im nayeon #yoo jeongyeon #hirai momo #park jihyo #sana minatozaki #twice sana #myoui mina #son chaeyoung #kim dahyun #dahyun #chaeyoung #mina #momo #jihyo #jeongyeon #nayeon

[birlcholtz]

Fic Questions

tagged by @the-lincyclopedia thank you!! (fun game: watch my writing get progressively less formal as the post continues. by the end it’s like what is capitalization)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

77!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

434,378 as of this week but it does go up quite regularly

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Okay so in terms of what’s on my AO3, I have Check Please, All For the Game, Sharp Zero, HP, and Miraculous Ladybug. I also have The Forbidden LOTR and PJO Fanfiction (as in, I’ve written it, but it’s never seeing the light of day)

(technically there is a PJO fic out there that has seen the light of day but I orphaned it because I was tired of getting comments asking about when it would be updated)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

and then i met you (and the whole world changed)

for the better

Knew It Was You

come home (to you, to us)

sin bin schematics

All of these are Check Please and all of them except Knew It Was You are part of my Zimbits Airport AU!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! It’s actually a very recent thing that I’ve started not responding to literally every single comment. Mainly I respond because I love talking about my writing so I am going to seize that opportunity when it comes up

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh, DEFINITELY Happy Birthday (HP). Check out that MCD tag ahah. (I say HP but what I really mean is that I write fic about Regulus Black. The Regulus Black-centric tag is my home in the HP fandom)

fun fact: this is a very short fic that I wrote when I was 15 and basically forgot about until recently, and then I reread it recently and went holy shit?? I pulled NO punches????

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the wildest one you’ve written?

Not a ton? I think a lot of the fandoms I write for don’t really mesh that well. That being said, the aforementioned orphaned PJO fic is actually a PJO/ML crossover, so there’s that

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope! Sometimes I get comments that are just.... really confusing? And a more common thing is that in my AFTG fic I’ll get comments from people who are so focused on Andreil (or the most common ships in general) to the point that like. they miss the point of what I actually wrote. Those are annoying but they’re not hate, they’re very enthusiastic, they’re just... enthusiastic about a story I’m not writing? So it’s a bit frustrating.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No sjflskgjhgf I struggle enough to write kissing, I think if I ever tried to write smut my brain would just shut down. I’ve managed some fade-to-blacks (which are mostly in WIPs that haven’t been posted) but they rely HEAVILY on the powers of implication

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, although I have occasionally made a brief go of it, not to post, more as an exercise for myself in a language that I’m learning. Anyway I never finish them so I’m gonna say no

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really? I’ve definitely group brainstormed fics and then written them (the best example of this being Q&A (AFTG), which was the product of a truly off-the-walls group chat), but I tend to do all the actual writing myself. I think the way I write would drive a co-writer up the wall since it’s very disorganized and I don’t write stuff down because ~I know what’s gonna happen I don’t need notes~ and it would infuriate me if I was co-writing with me lmao, so I won’t inflict that on someone else

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I regularly move through ships I’m SUPER focused on, like it’s kind of a rotation. I will forever and always ship Percabeth though.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Okay so if you follow me at @birlwrites you may know this already, but i have this ‘warmups’ document that is just like, random ideas i get that i don’t necessarily want to finish but i just want to try out for a bit? and i have a rule that once a ‘warmup’ is more than 10 pages long (so 11+) then it has to be moved to its own document, just to make scrolling through the warmups doc easier. but usually, a warmup only passes 10 pages when i’m INTO it. so i have a bazillion wips i will probably never finish. i complain about this a lot. i have so many wips. i don’t need more.

here’s one: it’s titled ‘interrobang doesn’t know they’re dating’, it’s basically a full outline for a chowder/tango fic and it would be SO cool if i could ever like. get around to writing it. but i am constantly swamped with writing projects, so it’s probably not gonna happen. if anyone’s interested in adopting it though i’d be down for that!! i think it’s a fun idea i just almost def won’t write it myself

15. What are your writing strengths?

SNAPPY DIALOGUE AND SNARKY INTERNAL MONOLOGUE. my writing is COMEDIC, 90% of my ideas are based on a funny snippet that popped into my head, a lot of my worldbuilding is based on ‘hey you know what would be hilarious’ (whenever i explain how larai selects a chosen one in the rainfall universe i start laughing, which is a STARK contrast to how it plays out on the page), i love writing funny stuff!!

also i think my writing sounds nice, a lot of the time i pick words/syntax based on sound and flow so there’s that too. and i have lots of ideas! i don’t struggle much with writer’s block because a) i have a lot of strategies to deal with it and b) i have a lot of ideas to help get around it/work with it

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

PHYSICAL INTIMACY LMAO, sometimes in my end notes on shippy fics you can see me complaining ‘it took me literally 4 hours to write that very brief kiss’. also sometimes the humor in my writing gets in the way a bit, i have to very consciously put it away so characters can actually have serious, genuine emotions. also i don’t like outlining and i tend not to get betas for fanfiction so like..... i do my best continuity-wise but having really tightly plotted stories is just not my focus lol. (and i do put more effort into that for original stuff, it’s just fic where i kind of go wild)

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If the reader’s supposed to know what it means, then writing it in another language is iffy for me. (stuff like terms of endearment which come up a lot in fic are fine imo, you can just put a note in to translate them and your reader will prob remember)

If the pov character isn’t supposed to understand it, and it doesn’t matter if the reader understands it, then ig it’s fine? but unless you already speak the other language (and i am NOT confident in my ability to translate english into literally any other language), then i think it’s way easier to just note that a character’s speaking x language and provide tone indicators, body language cues, etc. so the reader understands as much as the pov character.

That being said there are def times when it’s used super effectively--the dialogue in spanish in cemetery boys comes to mind! that’s not fanfic but it’s still creative writing so w/e

so i guess it comes down to: does actually writing out the dialogue in the other language serve a purpose? if it doesn’t, then you’re filling up the screen with words your reader isn’t likely to understand, which i try to avoid doing

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

so the first fandom i actually *wrote* for was PJO, but i distinctly remember creating warrior cats OCs when i was little. i never actually did anything w them but i had them and my favorite was a riverclan warrior named shellstream i remember this VIVIDLY

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

oh boy. okay so this is hard because i feel like i’m continuously improving as a writer. like in the sense that my writing is getting closer and closer to really matching my own taste? my favorites tend to always be my current projects as a result. and i do really love set those ghosts alight (HP) but it feels a little like cheating to say a fic i haven’t even finished writing yet. even though it’s def not cheating, that’s just the direction my brain is taking it.

i’m gonna say and then what? (OMGCP) because i’m super proud of the prose (especially ch 2 aka the first actual prose chapter), survived by (HP) for SUCCESSFULLY WRITING AN EMOTION and making readers cry :), and Q&A (AFTG) because i’m literally the one who wrote it and yet it still makes me wheeze. those are all fics i reread occasionally, because i’m big enough to admit i enjoy rereading my old stuff! (just like. to a point. some of my old stuff i can’t look at anymore because all the mistakes stick out to me like they have spotlights shining directly on them)

this was fun!! i’m gonna do an open tag because i just started my fall semester and brain tired. i know sometimes people see open tags and assume the op didn’t really mean it but I MEAN IT, PLEASE DO THIS AND TAG ME!!!!! YES YOU READING THIS

#tag games #long post #birl talks

[hargrove-mayfields]

Fic Writer Questions

Tagged by @deardmvz! ty Marilyn!

How many works do you have on ao3?

19 currently! And counting!

What’s your total ao3 word count?

120,141! I’m very long winded!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Chase the Wind

2. A Stake of Holly in Her Heart

3. I Hope That Something Better Comes Along

4. Spring Fever (the warm of glowing love)

5. A Password and A Promise

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

So many! I won’t even name them all here, but I’m still writing for Batman (specifically gotham, telltale, and lego Batman) and overwatch! One of these days when I get the courage I’ll post my other works to my ao3!

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Every last one! I love to hear from my readers, and I feel that if they took the time to respond to what I wrote, I personally like to do the same and let them know I appreciate them reaching out!! But I also usually only get a handful of comments on my fics, so it’s not hard to reply to them all!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmm, I’d say that’s probably for a fic I haven’t posted yet, so I’m not going to spoil anything!! (though the true answer for posted fics would be my hollogrove au fic that so far only got like 3 kudos)

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Not a lot! But currently I am workshopping a gotham x stranger things au because the actor who plays Martin and little Billy is the same! And that’s definitely pretty crazy rn!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I have! Only one time, and that was on Lover, Lover Number 9, an au fic where magic is real, and I was criticized because Steve’s reaction to a love potion almost, but not successfully, being used on him was “unrealistic.” I tried to be nice and explain to them that in a magical universe, ones reactions to a spell being used on them is going to be different than what our perspective might be, and that it’s just a fic that was properly tagged where nothing bad even happened anyways, and they just called me a bitch soo..

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Nope! I get far too caught up on descriptions and things, so it’s never any good! I find it much easier to rp smut because then it’s more natural!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I am aware!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! I’m not really big enough in this fandom to catch that kind of attention! But it would be really cool if somebody wanted to!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really, no!

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Ooh I can’t even begin to pick! Harringrove, kegboys, batjokes, nygmobblepot, roadrat, mcashe, reaper76, draculara x clawd, abbey x heath, red x mokey, and luis and maria from sesame street are all my top comfort ships tho.

What are your writing strengths?

I think dialogue? I never read back my own writing, so I don’t really know, but I always end up writing the dialogue first and then filling things in, so that’s at least the easiest for me! (whether it’s any good or not is another question though!)

What are your writing weaknesses?

Word repetition or just getting the wrong word for something, not knowing where to stop a plotline, too many ideas, but I don’t know because I don’t really like to pick my skills apart! I think my biggest weakness is making my fics too boring!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Depends on the situation! If I have to use translate for the whole thing I’m probably not going to do it, but I have enough understanding of French and Spanish to write short, simple dialogues! But there’s always the fact that my readers might not understand it, so I’m kind of indifferent I guess.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Ooh probably Batman? As a little kid I was super obsessed with Batman Forever and I wrote booklets full of two face x riddler fan fiction on stapled together pieces of printer paper!

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Maybe Dream Boy Lover? It’s one where Billy and Heather are friends, and he’s crushing on Steve! I have a whole series planned out to accompany it that I’ll finish one day!!

I’m really not sure who has and hasn’t been tagged, so I’ll tag just anybody who wants to do this! If y’all are feeling left out, don’t be shy to say I tagged ya! <3

#tag game! #thank you much for tagging me I love these games!

[allalrightagain]

Ao3 Stats Tag

@lunapwrites you tagged me in this what feels like forever ago (it was only a couple of days, but still) and this is the first time I've made it to my computer since. Thank you for the tag <3<3!

How many works do you have on AO3?

3, plus a few that should probably move there from other various places.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

4461

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

That I’ve published? Besides Harry Potter, I’ve got like 4 chapters of a Twilight fic I wrote with friends in middle school that will die on ffnet because I a) don’t remember the title, b) don’t remember our username, c) don’t remember the email (I do, weirdly, remember the password) and d) haven’t talked to either friend since like.. 2010.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(also fittingly the same order they were published in):

1) If logic beat hate (by only a little)

2) Where do we begin?

3) ‘78 count

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I got one I felt kind of weird about (and was… probably misinterpreting) a few months ago and haven’t managed to go back and respond to the ones that followed, but it’s my plan to respond to all of them! I totally understand why people might not want to, but I love getting responses back when I leave a comment on someone else’s work, so I’d like to believe I’m extending the warm fuzzy feeling I get back to anyone who comments.

Also, like, fandom is a community, even if some of that has collapsed a bit. We’re all here talking about how sad Remus Lupin’s life is/was/could be (or whatever), and the best way to keep doing that is to just keep talking to each other, even if it’s just a simple thank you/kudos.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Uhhh definitely '78 count haha. It's intentional! At its core, it's about death, the death of an entire generation, and survivors who die anyways. It's my lowest read fic, if nothing else than because of the MCD warning.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope. Or at least, not that I know of. Maybe my Twilight fic has racked up the flames, but I kind of doubt it.

I spent a long time being terrified of— not even people hating my fic, just like, perceiving it? So, very little of what I’ve thought about has made it to paper (or screen) and even less to people’s eyes. It’s something I’ve gotten a lot better at, and am continuing to do every day.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

*laughs in aroace* If I ever manage to write an actual ship, the answer will probably still be no. It takes a lot for me to be interested in a fic enough not to skim through reading smut, I’m fairly certain my own attempts would be “and then they kissed, anyways, moving on.”

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but it would be cool if someone liked my writing enough to do so!

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Gen fic :)? I do like wolfstar and hinny, but I’ll read a lot of pairings as long as it’s a story I’m interested in. I’m a very easy sell, so long as it’s not only about the relationship (and it rarely is).

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think that you ever will?

I have a Regulus Lives fic buried on pillowfort that could have used a lot more TLC than it got before seeing the light of day, and it very much got away from me. I learned a lot from what I did write, and a lot of those lessons got applied to DIWF, where they did a lot of good. I just think what I left myself isn’t a story that I can salvage into what I wanted it to be.

What are your writing strengths?

Definitely narrative style, which was my “thing” when I was in college (huge tip to people in creative writing classes— if you’re not sure what to write, pick the last story you read and write a similar story the same way, or pick two and rewrite one using the voice of the other. You will look very good for your prof and improve your writing!).

I think I’m pretty good at dialogue, but not always at making the dialogue sound like the right character.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Mixing dialogue and narration lmao. I can write you a script easily, and a story without dialogue almost as easily, but knowing when and how to build up or break up a scene with description often takes me dozens of rereads, and still feels clumsy to me.

Also length— I’m a short story writer at heart, I want to get in and get out. DIWF is testing my patience with both of these, but I know what I want it to look like, so I just keep beating more words into it XD

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I think it can be used really successfully, but it’s dependent on the writer knowing the language enough to use it masterfully, and context is extremely important. If the reader is supposed to understand what’s happening, then a translation needs to be conveyed in a way that’s easy to understand (I read mostly on mobile, so hovertext is generally useless, and putting it in the end notes is often annoying). If the goal is the reader and/or character(s) not knowing what’s said, it can come across as dismissive or othering of the other language (again, context=important).

That being said, there’s a special place in my heart for fics with dialogue in French, because I can actually read it.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. I have an adorable handwritten “and it was all a dream” fic I wrote at like.. 10? Definitely before book 7, and I think before book 6? Harry is killed by Voldemort and wakes up to the Marauders + Lily looking over his crib.

If you’re talking published, it would be the aforementioned Twilight fic I don’t remember.

What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Oh don’t ask me to pick favorites! I like them all for different reasons.

It took me so long to post this I think everyone I would have tagged has done it already? So if you see this and haven’t done it, I’m tagging you <3

#tag games #ask memes #lt talks #hp #hp fic #lt talks about writing

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with aka "Jake"

aka "Jake" has 83 stories at Gossamer, but don't miss her website for fics because a number of them come with cover images and/or illustrations you can't see at Gossamer. She's written some of the most epic and well-known stories in the fandom, including Abaddon's Reign and The Mastodon Diaries. Big thanks to aka "Jake" for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

It does surprise me! It just goes to show the series has amazing staying power and there are many excellent writers in the fandom who were able to capture the essence of Mulder and Scully and expand on XF canon every bit as successfully as the writers of the TV show. Some even more so.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

Like any online community, there were upsides and downsides. But what impressed me most were the lasting friendships that spilled into real life. Overall, the folks I encountered in the fandom were kind, helpful, talented, and inspiring. I’m still in contact with many of them and even meet up regularly with a couple of people who I consider my closest friends now, though we live far apart. Readers could be especially encouraging, poking authors with virtual sticks to get them to write more and faster. An amazing group called the Mastoholics formed to spur me on while I was posting The Mastodon Diaries as a work in progress. Several of them traveled to my house for a mini-con after the story was finished. Other folks called betas provided invaluable editing advice to authors. I was lucky to have several very good ones, but especially appreciated mimic117 and xdksfan. They went beyond proofreading; they pointed out confusing passages, missing plot points, and anything that seemed OOC (out of character). This polishing was a vital step before posting. To think they did it for nothing but the love of fanfic. It was a considerable time commitment.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

There were several key sites for posting and discussing fic when I started writing in 1997. These included Ephemeral, Gossamer, and Haven. Several sites issued writing challenges, like Haven, The Project, and The Church of X. Others gave out awards, like P1013 [Lilydale note: short for Prometheus1013] and the Spookys. I Made This! Productions invited authors, including me, to write episodes for virtual seasons of the show. I recall joining a couple of listservs early on, too.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Overall, it was an uplifting experience. My writing improved tremendously thanks to honest feedback and several key collaborations, particularly with co-authors Brandon D. Ray and the Secret Squirrels. I’d never written anything longer than an office memo when I started my first fic. I had nowhere to go but up. These gifted and generous authors helped me grow as a writer. Collaborating with them made the experience of writing even more creative, exciting, and special.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

The first episode I watched was The Field Where I Died. It hooked me immediately. Back then, there was no way to go back and watch the earlier episodes. It wasn’t until several years later I was finally able to watch the first 3 seasons on DVDs.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I stumbled upon Ephemeral where I read a fic called Acadia by RivkaT, which was set in Acadia National Park in Maine. If I recall correctly, it was a casefile with an emphasis on Mulder and Scully’s relationship. It felt like an episode of the show. I was thrilled to find a seemingly endless supply of XF stories that allowed me to extend my enjoyment of the TV series. It wasn’t long before I considered writing a story myself, a case file, although as mentioned above, I had no previous writing experience, just the desire to write down and share my ideas about Mulder and Scully.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

I haven’t been active in the fandom for quite some time. I have no idea where writers post or readers go to find fic. That said, to keep my mind off the pandemic and other disheartening news this year, I began writing a new fic, which I plan to add to my site in September.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

No, I never joined any other fandoms.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Sadly, no fictional characters have captured my heart and attention the way Mulder and Scully did.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

Yes, I do still watch XF. Before Seasons 10-11 aired, I rewatched the entire series and both movies. I enjoy the stories as much now as I did back in the day.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

No, not for ages. I’ve never read any stories from other fandoms.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

There are so many great authors and I’m hesitant to name them for fear of leaving someone out and hurting their feelings. Like a lot of fic writers, I was inspired by Prufrock’s Love beautiful way with words. Mountainphile wrote taut, realistic case files that I admired. David Hearne took on unique perspectives. To name just three.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I think my best writing may be in my long, post-col story Abaddon’s Reign. The story I most enjoyed writing was The Case of the Exuberant G-Man. It was a fun story that seemed to write itself.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

As mentioned above, I’m finishing up a new fic now and plan to post it on my site on or near the anniversary of the airdate of Season 1’s episode Squeeze. My story takes place in 2023, 30 years after Eugene Tooms was mangled to death in an elevator. I wanted to explore the idea of Tooms returning. How would that be possible? And what would Mulder’s and Scully’s lives be like five years after losing their son at the hands of CGB Spender and learning Scully was pregnant once again? I honestly thought I’d never write another fic but here we are.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Often from the unanswered questions left by the show, the off-screen scenes we didn’t get to see.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

The majority, no. Years ago, I told my sister I was writing XF fanfic and she looked at me like I’d grown two heads. We didn’t speak of it again. More recently, my sister-in-law discovered my work. She’s a big XF fan and still reads fanfic, so her reaction was very accepting. Back in the early days, fanfic wasn’t considered serious writing and had a pretty bad reputation, which honestly didn’t jibe with the truly fine quality of some of the writing in the fandom. Sure, it wasn’t all good but there were some real gems.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

All of my stories are on my site at akajake.net.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Just that I’m pleased there are folks like you who are helping to continue the tradition and fun! Thank you for interviewing me and giving me the opportunity to stroll down memory lane.

(Posted by Lilydale on September 1, 2020)

#new post #old school x #newsflash: new aka jake story coming soon #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #aka jake

[englandsgray]

Sherlolly Self-Interviews 2020

Well hi 👋

Ignoring the internal image of Gilderoy Lockheart smiling smugly while flashbulbs pop and saying ‘In my autobiography, Magical Me...’ 🙈😆 I shall take the opportunity of this lovely event to introduce myself as a writer of Sherlolly fanfiction on AO3...

I am English and somewhere over 30.  I watched the show as it aired, and lost my heart as quickly to Molly Hooper as to Sherlock Holmes.  The kiss is British television history.  Series 4 is my favourite.  Moriarty on the beach is life.  The Holmes brothers break my heart every time.

I am extremely lucky to have been provided some questions to answer here by @ohaine and @mybrainrots - huge, huge love and thanks to these two lovelies, and not just for this.  I admire you both so much as writers, and your support means the world to me ❤️ Thanks too, to @sherlollyappreciationweek!

Where did you begin to write, and have you written for other fandoms?  I wrote my first fanfic when I was eleven years old - a 100 page ramble about The Monkees.  Oh yes.  Then in 2018, I fell for the characters of the Disney Pixar film Cars and began writing and publishing.  So far so random!  Writing in this fandom sprang from binge-watching all four series of Sherlock during lockdown.  I remembered reading Louise Brealey talking about being disappointed Molly didn’t get chance to ‘roundly kick Sherlock’s arse’ and agreeing with her wholeheartedly.  That, over a few weeks, turned into my first fic - Who You Really Are.  

You’re a recent (and welcome!) arrival to the Sherlolly ship, and I was wondering if writing in an established, less active than it used to be fandom has been a challenge?   Thank you, firstly.  My experience of this fandom has been incredibly positive - the sense of welcome has been wonderful.  I will admit I was terrified posting the first fic - there are hundreds of times more stories posted daily in the Sherlock fandom as in the one I had some experience of.  But I needn’t have worried, it’s been a blast.  I will also admit, that it’s no small thing to be surrounded by such brilliant writing and the long-standing passion which goes with it.  But I find that inspiring in itself, and I’m very glad to be here - how supportive the fandom are makes me feel like I always have been!       

What’s your favourite place and way to write?  My aesthetic is Lin-Manuel Miranda in his in-law’s laundry room 🤣 I wrote my first ten-thousand words on the notes app on my phone before my other half told me to stop being ridiculous!  I switch between the laptop, my phone and longhand (I’m a sucker for a nice notepad and a Uni-Ball Eye) and, more often than not, not sat up properly at a table.   

Since you’ve (done something I’ve never managed successfully and) written a novella length fic... how did you organise/keep track of all the details and where you wanted the story to go?  Did you outline/plot in advance?  First of all - I would love to see a novella length fic from you @mybrainrots!  The final scene of Who You Really Are came to me very early on and I knew I wanted the fic to fit within TFP - a lot of it takes place in the timeframe of the final montage.  At first, it was going to be much more about Sherlock’s relationship with the ideas of sentiment and love (the phrase ‘I’m not sentimental about you, I love you,’ haunted me for a while) and I spent some time researching the psychology and playing with scenes from throughout the series - one of my favourites I didn’t go on to use was inspired by the final scene of THoB.  Using scenes from the canon gave an automatic structure, and I was always aiming for the final one I wrote early on - the two of them on the beach (everything is about the beach, with me!)  As I went along and started, inevitably, to slow down, I mapped out the chapters with a short note of what I wanted to be in each, then would add notes or phrases as they came to me - often emailed from my phone!  I had to force myself through a tricky section set in Baker Street at one point, but it came together in the end.  I did plot The Pathologist’s Skeletons on paper first, as I found with a casefic which remains a WIP, that I can get confused and lose focus when it comes to details and how to reveal them in a way which stays paced and interesting.  I’ll certainly do that from now on with longer stories and cases.  How did you keep up enthusiasm for the work?  I want to write an original novel, so I am forcing myself to work through the knotty bits and blocks as a learning experience.  Not everything is destined to be finished or finessed, of course, but I’m finding this process is building my confidence that I can overcome problems and slow periods.  I also find I know when I need some external inspiration - some of my favourite scenes have come to me while out walking the dog or sitting on the beach.  I’ve also been inspired by books or other series or things going on in the world, as we all are, and sometimes that’s pushed me on.  Plus, of course, I’m a newbie - I’m very much in the honeymoon period of my writing, even though I’ve loved Sherlock for ten years! (Ten years! Bonkers.) 

You’ve got a knack for writing Sherlock’s thoughts and capturing his voice.  That said, which character do you find easiest to write?  Which is the hardest?  Thank you so much.  I absolutely love writing Sherlock and Mycroft, and I’m sure that’s because they suit my somewhat over-the-top writing style!  I find Molly and her POV really difficult.  I want the scenes I write from her perspective to sound completely different to Sherlock, but that means writing in a style which doesn’t come as naturally to me.  I’m a long way off happy with that at the moment, but I’m enjoying the challenge.

Is there a scene or character that specifically inspired you to start writing Sherlolly?  The whole of TFP, but especially from the moment Sherlock arrives at Musgrave onwards.  I am desperate to see what a Sherlock Holmes who has been reacquainted with his own heart would look like.  I find his emotionality in those final scenes hugely compelling (Mycroft’s office is one of my favourite moments from across all four series) and, as I have always believed in him and Molly, I practically jumped up back in May after watching it and said ‘right, where’s my notebook?!’.

There’s a lovely peaceful, quiet feeling to your fic ‘We’re All Right At The Moment’.  Can you tell us what inspired it and if you’ve thought of doing the backstory that goes with it?  Thank you!  Like everyone, I would go back to January of this year and start again in a heartbeat, but I am hugely fortunate to be able to say that I have a lot to be grateful to the UK lockdowns for.  I might never have begun writing in this fandom otherwise, for one, and I have had a brilliant time so far and met some lovely people. Honestly, I don’t feel able to do any sort of justice in my writing to what has happened in the world in any broader sense than drawing on my own experiences of staying at home and enjoying my family.  This particular super-short fic sees Molly cutting Sherlock’s hair at home in Baker Street.  I wrote it in the evening after I had cut my other half’s hair and had been reminding myself that despite how horribly worried I was - and still am - about everything, we were all right in that moment, and to focus on that as much as possible.  I wanted to try to capture that, if for no reason other than to look back on this entire experience and remember something lovely, so I am so pleased to hear you felt the fic did that.  It was only after I finished it and reread it, that I realised it is ambiguous as to whether Molly is worried about Sherlock contracting the virus, or whether she is remembering him being treated for it... As I say, I don’t think I could write more about these extraordinary circumstances - perhaps it’s just too close at the moment - so I don’t plan on extending it.  But you know how it is, the plot bunnies hop where they will... 

Do you have a Sherlolly music playlist?  What are your top five favs from the list? Here’s a run down of (6 🙊) songs I have been getting emotional over in the last little while, leading my brain to assign their significance to my favourite couple...

Kissing You - Des’Ree - It’s so 90′s, it’s a bit cheesy, it’s oddly disturbing.  It helped me write A Request, Made Properly, and that gave me an excuse to have Sherlock kiss Molly in the snow.

How Long Will I Love You? - Ellie Goulding - part of the playlist, but also in remembrance of a friend who passed away recently.  Life is very short, love is forever.

High and Dry - Jamie Cullum - It’s made me emotional for a very long time.  The original is my partner’s version of choice, this is mine.  

Think About You - Delta Goodrem - Okay, this one isn’t emotional, and it’s not my usual vibe!  Blame the zoom exercise class I do!  But oh my goodness, it’s Molly.  Bless her.

Blinded By Your Grace (P.T.2. F.T. MNEK) - Stormzy - One of the best ever, I reckon.  Spent an awful lot of time thinking about angels and demons, grace and what it takes to save someone, while writing my latest - The Pathologist’s Skeletons.  This has been in my head most of the (blimmin’) time!

Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding - I didn’t know I was a fan of Ellie until I wrote this list... I don’t subscribe to the theory that the love Molly wants or that which Sherlock has to offer is any lesser because it isn’t ‘normal’ or expected. I don’t think romantic entanglement would come easy to either of them. But it’s still love and it would be beautiful.

Thank you so much for reading.  Thanks and love to @ohaine and @mybrainrots. And thank you @sherlollyappreciationweek for the event and for everything you do ❤️

Feel like I should sign off with a quote from the show...

“You’re not a puzzle-solver, you never have been. You’re a drama queen!” Dr John Watson (Moffat & Gatiss) 2014 😜

X

A fav fic of mine by @mybrainrots

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7563193

A fav fic of mine by @ohaine

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10562904

My stuff:

https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnglandsGray/works

#sherlolly #sherlollyselfinterview20 #sherlock #sherlockbbc #writing #fanfic #ao3 #ao3 author #read on ao3