Tumgik
#live a better life
aleesabella · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
32 notes · View notes
tiruvenkadu · 22 days
Text
someone’s got to be the hero
someone’s got to do the job
someone’s got to be the clown
who’s creatin’ the sound that makes the world go round
0 notes
andthebeanstalk · 1 year
Text
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
17K notes · View notes
secretmellowblog · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
My husband is a man who collects things he can use. A pistol, a pocket-watch, a woman's love, a wife....
I'm obsessed with That Scene(tm) between Katya and Andrei in the California Director's Cut Rerelease of Goncharov, so I did a lighting study inspired by the film's Art Deco Posters! Little details like Katya never referring to her husband by his first name really add to Andrey and Katya's tense dynamic, which is one of the most underrated parts of the movie imo.
44K notes · View notes
princessheatherblossom · 10 months
Text
That'll show 'em
1 note · View note
softhe4rted · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
to begin with, the sweet grass by mary oliver, from “devotions”
3K notes · View notes
ivytea · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
visitation to a restless shadow
15K notes · View notes
msnaturaltee202 · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
Important Reminders To Live A Better Life
{I Do Not know the source}
0 notes
youngchronicpain · 6 months
Text
It is okay to need pain medication to function with your chronic pain. It is okay. I promise. I know everywhere you turn pain medication is demonized. I know that it is scary to talk about. It is okay to be grateful that you have access to pain medication. Pain meds have greatly improved my quality of life and I wouldn't be able to live my life outside of my bed without them. And that's okay!!!
2K notes · View notes
girlbogg · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
hey has anyone else noticed that totk looks a lot like princess mononoke sometinms (<- guy who has never had an original thought)
1K notes · View notes
lifeinspiration4all · 2 years
Text
Understanding The Importance Of Self-Appreciation
Understanding The Importance Of Self-Appreciation. The capacity to value and appreciate is more than just a theoretical idea; it includes our actions and attitudes toward the things we respect and cherish (including ourselves) and how we show them. “If you’re not grateful for what you already have, why should you be blessed with more…” ― Germany Kent It is really essential for us to love…
Tumblr media
View On WordPress
0 notes
ghost-bxrd · 6 months
Text
Prompt
Tim is a genius, so it’s really no surprise that he’s got the number of each batfamily member saved in his phone long before he becomes Robin.
But then Jason dies (and comes back to life) and Tim is struggling to keep Bruce alive and Dick from spiraling.
To cope with the stress of having the lives of Gotham’s two most important vigilantes depend on him he starts leaving Jason voicemails and text messages on his old number detailing progress and setbacks, fears and hopes, and the dream of finally finding somewhere he belongs. Along with the crushing realization that Tim’s own hero — Jason— is long dead.
Unbeknownst to Tim, Jason listens to and reads every single one of the messages.
2K notes · View notes
clouvu · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
Offering lil doodles of them bc my eyes have been opened
2K notes · View notes
idkaguyorsomething · 6 months
Text
the convoluted doctor who lore gets extra funny when you realize that, at two separate points in the past, two different companions to two different doctors ended up running into rasputin but both came to the conclusion that he was a pretty nice and normal guy. which, depending on how you interpret the power of the doctor, is either a nice subversion of a lot of tropes of stories used in pre-soviet russia, or side-splittingly hilarious as you start imagining the master getting roped into various adventures with different versions of the doctor that he can’t fuck with yet or else he’ll destroy the timeline, forcing him to play nice with the humans as part of his 4D Time Chess Master Disguise Plan #3852
1K notes · View notes
shorthaltsjester · 9 months
Text
the mighty nein - critical role
this is a place where i don't feel alone. this is a place where i feel at home.
#also with softer vibes. i offer They#every silly little brainheart found family deserves a to build a home edit#the mighty nein maybe most of all. thats my family#also the lyrics deliciously well suited to m9.#when jester pulls that. stupid tarot card for fjord. home or traveler. and there's a carnival wagon. and veth says Thats Us! . them#i just think about . the tower is their home the xhorhouse is their home the lavish chateau is their home the balleater. the mistake.#the nein heroez. veth and yezas apartment. the dome. fjord and jesters living room floor.#a bar with a silly name on rumblecusp#also like. the song has stone and dust imagery. gardens and trees.#the inherent temporality of life and love and how that holds no bearing on how greatly people can love. im losin it okay.#ive been making this edit for days straight with my computer screaming at me for trying to shove 143 episodes of cr into a 2min20sec video.#crying becuase. theyre a family do you get it. they were nine lonely people and most of them had given up on seeing their own lives#as something that might be good. something that might make the world a better place. and in the end they're heroes.#and it doesn't matter if no one else knows because They know they're heroes. and they wouldn't've believed that was true when they met.#rattling the bars of my enclosure. to be loved is to be changed#posted on twitter and want to get in the habit of posting here too bc.#general reasons but also bc . i have noticed some of the ppl liking/sharing it are also ppl who shit on my ops by vaguing about my posts#which is in general whatever but does leave a funny taste in my mouth.#critical role#the mighty nein#cr2#caleb widogast#caduceus clay#jester lavorre#fjord#veth brenatto#yasha nydoorin#beauregard lionett#mollymauk tealeaf#my posts
2K notes · View notes
Text
god i wished i lived in the timeline where companies respected animation
5K notes · View notes