#listen will does know how to fend for himself but he’s also very stupid

[veliseraptor]

Listen Jiang Fengmian doesn't know his ass from his elbow he is fully capable of bringing home the first kid savvy enough to lie to him.

someone else mentioned this in the comments of that post (about how xue yang could end up with the jiangs instead of wei wuxian) and then you sent this and you're not actually necessarily wrong. i don't actually think jfm is actually stupid but dude probably at the very least has no idea what the kid he's looking for looks like, one misheard syllable and a quick-witted xue yang knowing an opportunity when he sees one and we do have an opportunity

(obviously we are completely ignoring timeline fuckiness here, or rather embracing cql timeline fuckiness)

the thing is though I think growing up in this environment, as toxic as the jiang family issues are, would make a huge difference in how xue yang turns out/what his future looks like. I think he would feel a certain level of gratitude to the jiang for saving him from a much harder life, and I think growing up as part of a community (as opposed to largely on his own and fending for himself) would change at least some things about his perspective on the world and how to behave with other people. at the very least it gives him some experience with the concept of "people doing things for you because they care about you" before he's gone too far down the murder road.

I've always said that I think that, while it wouldn't come easily or naturally to him, Xue Yang can learn prosocial behaviors, given positive reinforcement/incentive. I doubt he and Jiang Cheng would ever get along well - the clash of personalities is pretty intense and Xue Yang does not let things roll off him the way Wei Wuxian does (or at least performs to), but at the same time I think Xue Yang could see Jiang Cheng as sort of His to piss off and bother and provoke in a way that would immediately make him turn on a common enemy in a pinch. he'd adore Jiang Yanli, though.

as far as Yu Ziyuan goes...he'd be too aware of the power dynamics involved, I think, to ever openly show his feelings (or, god forbid, act on them), but he would hate her. especially if we're post-finger smashing (which I kind of like the idea of), that's going to be even more intense, because that's also the point where I think Xue Yang really learns resentment in a real way. he respects her as a formidable force but he does not like her, and would not spit on her if she was on fire.

zero respect for Jiang Fengmian, though. right from the get-go. in this situation he would, after all, be the sucker who picked Xue Yang up instead of this "Wei Ying" kid he was actually looking for (and is there something about knowing that all of this isn't meant for him, not really? yeah, every once in a while when stories about "his" parents come up in particular).

anyway I'm going to be turning this over in my head for a while, this is an interesting concept that I'm now able take away from a really annoying post so thanks for that, anon

#conversating #anonymous #xue yang #aggressively headcanons #the sad queer cultivators show #what am i doing

[tristanneal]

The Main Characters

Dawnspace will revolve around four roommates and their adventures across different galaxies as they adapt to alien civilizations and fend off the evil forces of Iedrov.

Going from left to right: Tala (she/her), Seph (he/him), Roger (he/him), and Kuna (she/her)

I will start with Kuna. She is an anthropomorphic frog who starts off identifying as male and using he/him pronouns at the beginning of the game, but through self-discovery, her character development will echo the trans experience of my best friend Emily, who Kuna’s character is modeled after.

Kuna is also a little bit inspired by me, particularly the way I acted as a high schooler and how I started off being egotistical as a teen. Kuna will have similar problems that are mostly traced to a low self-esteem from being a closeted trans person such as trying to overcompensate, distancing herself away from others, and even mistreatjng others at times.

Deep down, however, Kuna is witty and compassionate as well as genuinely thankful for whoever cares to listen to her problems. She is also a talented musician who occasionally finds ways to deal with her depression by creating sad songs using music software, but very few people understand what she’s trying to convey. Kuna is a caring and artistic soul, locked away in an exterior wall of self hate that comes off as self-centered and petty. Kuna can be bold and blunt at times as well as impatient, which leads to drama at the beginning of the game when Kuna still has some growing to do.

There is only one character who Kuna is open about absolutely everything to, and that’s Roger the anthropomorphic cockroach. He is pretty much my self-insert and is best friends with Kuna, just as I am best friends with Emily.

Roger is somewhat childish and naive, but understanding of Kuna’s problems and open-minded as well as non-judgmental. He does not know what it’s like to be trans and therefore doesn’t always have the best advice for Kuna, but he tries to be as helpful as possible.

Like Kuna, Roger will also start off having flaws that are very much inspired by me irl. He has poor work ethic, he is lazy, and he is also prone to careless clumsy acts and can be impulsive at times. His manners will also be noticeably uncontained, he’ll be prone to eating food too fast and talking too loud. Kuna will have to remind Roger at times not to be naive about things, and to not mess things up, while Roger will have to remind Kuna not to live in self doubt and to be open to new things.

Roger, like me, also has autism and is prone to stimming, whether verbally or with hand movements. He is often seen flapping his hands and snapping his fingers rapidly and chanting “coma doma, coma doma” to himself, then stops himself if he realizes it isn’t appropriate. He is constantly tired and gets easily confused about a wide variety of things, but he is also very imaginative and often knows how to stay optimistic even when things are hopeless.

Due to being a cockroach, he is a night owl (just like I am irl) and often has to be reminded to go to bed while everyone else is in bed and to not eat at night. He is notably not as useful as the other characters throughout the game, but everyone tiptoes around that (so like for example, everyone will be given a role during some complicated quest, but Roger will be told “and Roger, here, with his um...”)

Roger is essentially a manchild with wild ambitions and a heart of gold who experiences autobiographically-portrayed advantages and disadvantages of having autism.

That, I feel, is something that I need to represent because autism is very misunderstood, and I have to admit even I am perplexed by its mysteries that I live with. I should note that Roger isn’t necessarily stupid, just easily-overwhelmed but also easy-going as well as intensely focused on his own special interests. These things make him not very knowledgeable about things that perhaps he should know, and although he is laid-back philosophically, he gets stressed out when it comes to anything that puts him under pressure, especially time constraints. He has a hard time doing anything fast or efficiently which goes hand in hand with his laziness unfortunately. Roger is a jokester among other things, and he loves to laugh and have fun even if he sometimes fails to read the room. He can come off as tone-deaf because of this, but he means well

He is terrible with time management and only remembers the most specific stuff. But he, like Kuna is also an artistic soul and he is passionate about discovering the unknown and will be motivated to get out of his comfort zone as the story progresses. Roger is meek and polite, he prefers to avoid conflict and will only get involved in arguments if they’re about things he is passionate about. Kuna and Roger both begin their character arcs as emotionally immature young adults, but if the player makes the right choices, they will help each other overcome their weaknesses and become stronger people.

Seph is the one who makes sure everyone is on task and is the most irritable of the bunch. If there’s a mess or any kind of mistake made, he is the first to get worked up about it and he can be impatient at times. Although he can be judgmental and aloof towards his other roommates, especially Roger, he does what is right and always puts others before himself. He is AFAB, so in his early life (before he gained the freedom to get HRT), he has had to deal with a lot of abuse from his family for coming out as trans, and he has tendencies to lock away his feelings because of it. But he has a soft spot in his heart for his friends who accept him, and he’s not as self-conscious around them as he is around strangers. He occasionally makes efforts to lighten the mood whenever things are looking down, such as making jokes or looking on the bright side of things. This is challenging for him when he also tends to blow things out of proportion, but he tries. He is more or less the protective older brother of the group, and he looks out for his pals and makes sure they don’t make the same mistakes as him.

Tala is an anthropomorphic rabbit who acts as the voice of reason whenever there is despair, animosity, or dispute. She appears to them as level-headed, calm, and always in an indifferent mood. Unlike the other roommates who are always speaking their minds, she hardly ever talks and prefers to have somewhat of an emotional distance between herself and the others. Whenever someone is upset, however, she always knows what to say and shows a great deal of empathy for others. Her mindset is based on logic and reason, and she is the first person that the other characters come to whenever there’s conflict or issues, since she is the least likely to get upset or overreactive about it.

In the very back of Tala’s mind however, is a side of her that she hides from everyone around her. She is obsessed with the thought of killing and eating living things, especially people. These thoughts are unwanted, and she strives to avoid nurturing these fantasies and be better than what her raw desires urge her to do. In the story, you can choose whether Tala succeeds at keeping those thoughts from controlling her actions or not. Throughout the plot, there will be opportunities for Tala to briefly act on her fantasies through harmless but unsettling ways (such as cutting up already-dead bodies from graves) that she convinces herself is a form of harm reduction to keep her from getting too out of control. This of course does not work too well, as she grows addicted to the sensation of blood and gore and only wants to experience the same feeling but stronger. It’s a slippery slope that shows the mental states of someone struggling between giving into temptations or ignoring them.

Tala is in a constant battle with herself that she would never dare to show anyone, as she knows that it would just scare them if she ever talked about it. She tries to distract herself with things that she’s genuinely passionate about, but there are various opportunities throughout the game that tempt her to feed her sick desires. She is compassionate and intelligent, but also dark and withdrawn. As someone who is very calm and calculated, the other roommates finding out about her macabre pastimes is the thing that she is least prepared for, so there’s no telling what would happen if they did, but it probably wouldn’t be something good…

[thiswomanshouldbewriting]

Ok but episode 5 is such a turning point and I feel the need to ramble about this a little.

When I first saw the almost kiss at the end of the episode, I was kind of surprised. I knew from tumblr that the relationship between Ed and Stede was going to develop into a romance, I just didn't expect it to happen so quickly and so explicitly (the damage queerbaiting does to a mf). That scene signed a tone shift that I wasn't expecting, and the more I think about it the more absurd it feels that I didn't see it coming.

While Edward and Stede have lots in common and get along from the moment they meet, they are not on equal footing at first.

Stede treads Blackbeard as a friend, but he is also in a kind of hero-worship situation. He's known about him for a long time, he just had his life and crew saved by him, he is learning crucial skills from him.

And Ed, well, Ed also liked Stede from the moment he heard about him but, as lovable as he thinks that Stede is, Ed is still going along with his own plans. He decides to contact Stede because he's bored. He's learning about upper class because he wants to be one of them. As much as he likes Stede, he does not need Stede, while Stede pretty much needs him to survive.

What changes this dynamic? Well, the way Stede reacts to Ed's vulnerability.

In episode 4 we see Blackbeard in complete control of the situation while Stede panicks, until we learn that Blackbeard was wrong about the day. At that point Ed just... gives up, and retreats to drink himself into a stupor, and is joined by Stede. While they don't exactly bond in this moment, they are for once on equal footing, both musing on their own failings, and come up with the same plan at the same time. They work together, and while Ed still does not need Stede in his life at this point, he has learned that, at the very least, Stede is not the kind of person that would stab him (physically or emotionally) the moment he shows weakness.

Then episode 5 comes along and, despite Blackbeard's attempts, Stede starts to see more through the facade. Stede sees how the "rich donkey" comment got to him, and offers a support that Ed is not yet ready to accept. But later, when the party gets ugly, Stede "soft boy" Bonnet tells motherfucking Blackbeard to stand down, with so much authority that Ed actually does listen to him. Stede not only sees how much those comments got into Ed's head, not only stops him from doing something extremely rush and stupid in response, but actively takes the matter in his hands, punishing a boat full of people for the crime of hurting someone he cares about.

Ed has grown up in a world where every man has to fend for himself, where pirates don't have friends, where weakness means your crew will mutiny, and suddenly he is faced with someone who not only doesn't shame him for his moment of weakness, but tells him don't worry, I can deal with this so you don't have to. The look that Ed gives Stede as the boat burns is, I believe, both because he didn't think Stede had it in him, and because he definitely didn't expect Stede to do this for him.

Cut to the moonlight scene. Ed is still processing everything that just happened, when Stede approaches him and offers, once again, support for what he just went through. He gently takes (after asking!) something that Ed cares about, a symbol of his softness, and treats it with such care and respect, showing Ed how to display that to the world. Ed knows, in this moment, that he can trust Stede, that it's safe to be vulnerable with him, something that he probably hasn't felt with anyone in years. Of course he takes that step forward, of course he is tempted to kiss him.

And this fully progresses in epsiode 6. The episode opens with a montage of the two of them enjoying each other's company, finally on equal footing, because Ed has realized that he does need Stede, not for his plan, but as a person he wants to spend time with, someone cares about (much to Izzy's chagrin). Not only that, but the hilarious/flirty "stab me" scene is all about physical trust. Ed trusts Stede enough that he's willing to be physically vulnerable when he's around. But this isn't the highest level of trust for Ed. Ed would probably rather be stabbed than talk about his feelings, but by the end of the episode he's ready to show Stede what, by pirate standards, is the worst part of him. He's crying, he's scared, he's showing all of his emotional vulnerability, and once again Stede only shows him care. Stede reassures him that he's not a monster, that they're friends, and that their friendship won't change because Ed planned to kil him or because he was too soft to go through with the plan (there's a wonderful post about this, I can't find it right now).

It's not a coincidence that from episode 7 onward these two are clearly and openly head over heels for each other (still screaming about Ed trusting Stede to take something out of his beard), so much so that other characters start to fully acnowledge theirs as a relationship. The progression of their romance - from the instant chemistry to the weird tension to the full flirting - is dictated by how vulnerable Ed is willing to be with Stede, and how gently Stede treats him in response. And it breaks my heart because when Ed finally brought down his final defenses, when he was ready to leave it all behind for Stede, he had his heart broken in the worst possible way.

#Our flag means death #Ofmd #Stede Bonnet #Edward Teach #Blackbeard #Stedward #Blackbonnet #This turned into an essay on trust I guess #Parole al vento

[miekasa]

sorry if you've already answered this, but what do you think the aot character's love languages would be? we know levi's is acts of service, but anybody else?

No worries! I don’t think I’ve answered for everyone before, so I’ll take a shot at it now bc I love thinking about people's love languages 😌

LEVI Gives: acts of service

This is one is talked about a lot, but Levi shows his love most often through doing things for you, even if you haven’t asked anything of him.

He’ll go out of his way to make your life easier and/or more comfortable in any way that he sees fit, and he doesn’t expect the same in return; it truly just makes him happy to know that he could have done something for you.

It includes bigger things like assembling furniture for you, building you something completely from scratch, or cleaning your car for; and also small things like making you a cup of coffee or tea, or even just holding your bag for you after a long day.

Needs: physical touch

Classic touch-starved man who doesn’t outwardly ask for physical touch, but doesn’t back away from it when you initiate it.

After some time, he’d begin to initiate himself, he just needs to get comfortable with the idea of it first; but after he is, it’s really cute to see. Catch him on a lazy morning, and he’s especially touchy; or find him after a long day of work, and he’ll cuddle himself right into your shoulder.

It makes him happy to know that you seek him out for physical comfort, and that he can begin to do the same. Also, he loves the feeling of you playing with his hair, it’s a surefire way to get him to fall asleep.

HANGE Gives: quality time, physical touch

Hange likes spending time with you, and loves roping you into their favorite hobbies, activities, and antics. Even something as simple as a 3 minute FaceTime call to ask them a quick question is enough to put a smile on their face.

They really just like to share their interests with you, and would love it if you did the same! Hange is willing to give everything a try at least twice for you.

Also loves physical touch, maybe not even necessarily in traditionally “romantic” ways either—having their hand around your shoulder to show you something on their phone, knocking into your body while they’re laughing, clapping your hands together out of boredom—all simple touches that make Hange happy.

Needs: gifts

Hange looooves presents, and you can’t prove me wrong. To them, it’s really touching to know that you would take the time to pick out or make something that you think they would like.

They cherish any and every gift you get them, even if it’s something as tiny and routine as bringing them a coffee during a busy a day at work, Hange never takes it for granted.

(And they also go on and brag about it to anyone who will listen, “Ah did you see my baby brought me coffee for lunch? Just how I like it too, they know me so well!”)

EREN Gives: quality time, words of affirmation

Quality time for Eren can also be mistaken as him spending all of his free time annoying the hell out of you, but it’s really just him being Loving.

When he’s not annoying you, he really does just like to be in the same space as you, even if you’re doing your own things. He likes having you around because you comfort him even if you’re not directly speaking to or interacting with him.

Words of affirmation come out of him in a very matter-of-fact tone. It’s almost as if he’s not consciously trying to affirm you or flatter you.

To him, he’s just saying what he believes is an objective truth: of course he thinks you’re smart and talented and pretty and fun to be around. If those things make you feel good, then it’s a bonus, but really, he just means it like it’s a fact of the universe.

Needs: gifts, physical touch

He’s not the best at giving gifts, but he does love to receive them, and honestly, he’s very humbled and flattered whenever you give him something that you clearly put a lot of time and/or effort into.

He almost feels undeserving of it, but he loves it all the same, and he really does cherish it. Even if it’s something as generic as a pair of shoes he was talking about, it still means a lot to him that you would remember and buy them for him.

Once he gets a taste of physical touch, he doesn’t know how to let go. All sense of personal space is out of the window, and this goes hand in hand with quality time once he discovers it.

Loves it when you touch him: play with his hair, play with or hold his hands, hug him out of the blue. Also loves to touch you, though he seems to not understand the size of his body when he’s draping himself over your shoulders, or has his leg over your thigh while you’re sitting on the bus.

ARMIN Gives: gifts

To him, it’s the simplest way to express himself without embarrassing himself by potentially tripping over his words. Also, gifts can be given remotely, so he doesn’t have to sit around worrying if you’ll love it or hate it while you open it.

Though, he certainly gains a lot of confidence over time, he still likes to leave you little presents to find when he’s not around. Something as small as buying your favorite candy and putting it in your coat pocket, or leaving flowers at your place.

He’s also very thoughtful, and when he does get you a bigger gift, or something to celebrate an occasion, he always makes sure it’s perfect.

He does it to make you happy, and when you’re happy, it makes him happy.

Needs: words of affirmation

He won’t ask for it, but it’s really reassuring to hear, and it makes him feel really good, and relieved to know that the person he loves thinks highly of him.

If you told him you’re proud of him, he might… he really might malfunction a bit, but your words would stick with him. The next time he was going through something hard or even just doubting himself, he’d remember what you said to him and it would give him a little push to get through it (and maybe be nicer to himself as a consequence).

Not necessarily an affirmation, but it also flatters him to hear that you think he’s attractive. Though, be careful when and how you say this, because he’s very… easy to excite.

MIKASA Gives: words of affirmation, acts of service

Mikasa lets you know how much you mean to her, and how much you mean to everyone in your life all the time. She doesn’t want you to ever feel like you’re less than you are.

She loves hearing about your progress or achievements in work/school and is quick to tell you that she’s happy for you and proud of you.

She’ll also do anything she can to help you out, so acts of service a big thing for her. She doesn’t want you to have to go out of your way to do something she could handle for you.

That isn’t to say that she thinks you’re incapable of fending for yourself; rather, that she would like to ease your pain whenever and wherever she can.

Needs: quality time

She doesn’t realize how much she likes/needs this until you guys start spending more time together; and it’s in your absence that she finds herself missing you more than she’d anticipated.

She doesn’t even mind sitting idly by while you’re busy or doing work, so long as she gets to be by your side. It also brings her a sense of comfort to be able to take care of you during this time; having snack breaks with you, occasional tangent conversations, and reminding you to rest when necessary.

She finds that one of the simplest means of quality time is sleeping next to each other; whether it be for a nap, or going to bed, it’s a kind of intimacy she never thought she’d crave, but comes to really, really enjoy.

JEAN Gives: quality time, gifts

Just. Just let Jean tag along to whatever you’re doing like a little golden retriever and he’ll be so damn happy. It doesn’t matter what—buying makeup, going on a walk, heading to the grocery store—he just likes spending time with you.

Though he—and anyone who expresses themselves in quality time—completely understands there are moments where you need to be by yourself. But if you don’t mind him being there, then he’ll take the opportunity to be with you.

He looooves to give presents, and even though he can get kind of embarrassed by it and try to play it off as nonchalant, he’s quite thoughtful and romantic with his gifts.

Needs: quality time, physical touch

He loves doing what you’re doing, but he would also love to have you around when he’s chilling or running errands or doing whatever, too. He doesn’t care, Jean just likes talking to you, and will take any opportunity to hear you speak to him and be around him.

He shows a normal amount of physical touch and/or PDA throughout your relationship, but really casual and gentle touches by you mean the world to him. When he feels you stroking his face when you think he’s asleep, wrapping your arms around one of his habitually when you’re sleepy after a night out, putting your hands on his face when you kiss him—all those things mean the world to him.

I don’t know if this would fall into words of affirmation, but he also likes it when you tell him that you find him attractive. Call him handsome once and he’ll be thinking about it for the rest of the month. Tell him he’s pretty and you might even get him to blush.

CONNIE Gives: quality time

Similar to Eren, his quality time is most commonly expressed through a little game he likes to call “how many times can I annoy my girlfriend in the span of twenty minutes.”

You could be chilling like normal, having a casual night in and Connie will just come bursting in your room like the loudest mf on the planet, with Monopoly in his left hand, and a six pack of beers in his right.

He lives for doing stupid (borderline illegal) shit with you, and to his credit, you’ve never gotten caught. He really just likes to hang with you and make you laugh and make memories the both of you won’t ever forget.

Needs: acts of service

Help this man. No, really, literally, help him, even if he says he doesn’t need help, he’ll appreciate it in the end.

From stuff like tutoring him for a class, to packing him lunches (beyond Lunchables, but inclusive of a strawberry-kiwi CapriSun, nonetheless); it’s a love language Connie didn’t even think he would like.

He fucking loves it though and never shuts up about anything you might do for him; always thanks you a million times and puts you in a loving chokehold and pinches your cheeks in appreciation.

SASHA Gives: words of affirmation

She’s really good at comforting you, or even just making you feel good about yourself. Sasha might not even realize how much her positive outlook on you might mean, but she sure does love to tell you how much you mean to her.

Adores singing your praises and rewarding you with compliments all the time. She’s so sweet and she doesn’t even realize what she’s doing. Best girl.

Needs: gifts

Sasha loves presents in all shapes in forms: birthday presents, anniversary presents, planned presents, surprise presents. Doesn’t matter, she’s happy to receive any and all of them.

She looks at the gifts you get her with sparkles in her eyes and the widest grin on her face. It means the world to her that you would get her something she loves and she appreciates it so much.

Takes extra special care of your gifts too. If you got her one of something she collects, the ones you give her have their own little special place in her collection and she loves to show them off whenever people ask about them.

PIECK Gives: acts of service, physical touch

Pieck will do just about anything for you, and if she can’t, she’ll commission someone else to get it done for the both of you. (Someone being Porco and Reiner if this act involves lifting or carrying anything heavy).

She adores the smile on your face after she tells you she’s taken care of something you were putting off or having trouble doing; it makes her whole day to see you happy and relieved to have one less task on your to-do list.

She definitely does things because it makes her happy to see you happy, but there’s a small part of her that’s not above admitting she likes to be rewarded for it, too. Even something as small as a hug will do 😌

That’s also where the physical touch comes in: Pieck is kind of handsy, an almost unexpectedly protective kind of way. It’s equal parts of her liking to show you off and have her hands on you, and making sure nobody else thinks about doing the same.

Needs: quality time

Once she discovers the joy of having someone else to laze around with, take naps with, and do… questionable antics with, Pieck feels like she’s discovered the true meaning of life.

Adores when you ask to come along with her to run errands, or when you show interest in any of her many hobbies. She comes to find that she loves sharing them with you.

Napping together is a must, and if you think she’ll let you out of her hold just because your leg cramped or you have to use the bathroom, then think again. There’s a minimum of three one-hour naps per week with her.

PORCO Gives: acts of service, gifts

Gifts might come as a surprise for him, but he’s got a good memory, so when he sees something you’ve been talking about, he’ll just pick it up/buy it for you.

Could be anything from a new pair of house slippers, to a pair of earrings you showed him once. If he sees it and remembers you wanted it, there’s a 9/10 chance he’ll just get it. You can’t say he never did anything for you.

He approaches acts of service the same way, and usually does things he knows he can handle doing for you, like cleaning your car, cooking you dinner, or giving you a massage.

He can get kinda smug about it tho, going off about how you’re his little baby and that you need him to take care of you, as if he didn’t go out of his way to do these things, unprompted 🙄

Needs: physical touch

He’s not going out of his way to do extreme PDA, but he’s not hiding it either; if he feels like touching you, he will. But the first time you initiate it, or the first time you touch him in a gentle way, he’s such a goner.

He doesn’t even know how to process it at a first, and when he does he feels stupid and embarrassed for even liking it, but he certainly likes it that for damn sure.

He gets kinda cranky if you don’t cuddle up to him or hold his hand or poke his cheek (even though he claims it’s oh so annoying, you know he likesssss it).

#anonymous #i love love languages i think theyre so cool and how ppl can have the same ones but show it very differently #aot x reader #aot imagines #aot headcanons #levi x reader #eren x reader #armin x reader #porco galliard x reader #pieck x reader #hange x reader #mikasa x reader #jean x reader #jean kirstein x reader #omfg im tired of this bye #minicanons

[rayofsunas]

s/o who dies.

A/n: listennnn, I wasn't going to write something dark, but then I unregretfully decided to listen to edgy/dark audios and I was suddenly in the mood to write this so yeah lmao. also, guess what? I'm planning on making a discord server right after posting this! so, be on the lookout for that when I get it all sorted out. also, note for Scaramouche's that the reader inserts tend to lean more femininely versed (I hope that's okay), the only reasons why I do that is because one I simp and I'm female AND two since I am doing a mini-series for Scara, I've kind of based his imagines/fics around that universe (baby daddy universe). I haven't started his yet, but consider these part of that series' universe. anyways as always thank you for requesting anon and enjoy! <333

Summary: you die + how the boys cope afterward.

Parings: Albedo/Gn! Reader, Xiao/Gn! Reader, Scaramouche/Fem! Reader

Warnings: swearing, angst, death, poison, illness/cancer, murder, arson, obsessive behavior

Word count: 2.1k

Albedo

"You need to keep this on your head." Your lover said for the one-hundredth time, placing the cold cloth on your forehead once again after taking it off only seconds earlier.

"This is pointless," You said, no longer wanting to ignore nor hide behind the invisible thick curtains of the obvious death sentence approaching. "My body rejected the medicine the first twice doses, what's a third time going to do?" You asked, knowing Albedo wouldn't answer; your hope was to knock some sense into his thick skull. but he was too worried trying to ignore the obvious as you had previously been doing, not anymore though.

This was saddening to watch, both Albedo's unfolding and the girl who accidentally poisoned you, whimpering into Sucrose's shoulder. She was only a young girl, barely seventeen when she was chosen to work under Sucrose and your boyfriend. She was very good at Alchemy and luckily had a desire to practice the craft. But unfortunately, she hadn't paid much attention when it came to Surcrose's educational poison lesson and had unknowingly mixed up poisonous liquids and materials.

After tipping over some clutter in Albedo's office and knocking over a test tube laying unsealed on the counter, you had realized the contents spilled on your skin, bleaching into your pores. You had been tasked with bringing the famed alchemist and his assistant some vials and materials for the collection of a rare butterfly they had found. It was both telling and obvious that something was wrong when you never showed up with the required materials requested and it was already too late hours later when the chief Alchemist, his assistant, and Alchemist in training came bounding down the stairs of Albedo's home laboratory.

It didn't take long for the trio to realize something was wrong. Sucrose had found the vile on the floor, most of its contents spilled and in a little puddle, plus your state on a nearby lounge chair was obvious; slumped awkwardly, forehead visibly sweating, eyes closed, breathing raspily.

You accepted the first doses of the supposed nullifying medicine without hesitation, just wanting the numbing feeling to go away. But when it never kicked in you decided it would be best to save the medicine, because it wasn't working. Your time was coming.

"Since the medicine is taking immediate effect, you should try to get the contents out of your system," He said, reaching out for you. Badly you wanted to argue that the medicine wasn't working at all, but he wasn't listening and already has his lean arms wrapped around your middle, helping gently lift and guide you over to the sink.

You hear materials being shoved to the side and soon enough you had your head dangling over the sink, shaking hands gripping the metalled edge tightly. Soon enough, Albedo's hand was on your back rubbing up and down, hoping to comfort you, it wasn't working though. You could only think about your death, what the other side would look like. Could there even be heaven or hell, maybe a place in between, maybe nowhere...?

As soon as you felt the urge to vomit, you did, and despite it being utterly disgusting Albedo seemed to welcome it happily. He took this as something good, but it only worried you when you saw the reddish hues in the bile.

"I think they should leave." You muttered acknowledging Sucrose and Elizabeth, the taste of gooey, metal only becoming more apparent. The blonde agreed, nodding and muttering "Okay."

As Sucrose lead Elizabeth towards the stairs, the pair heard you say. "Goodbye Sucrose, Elizabeth." Which only seemed to make the young girl wail louder.

You sighed sadly once the silence was back. Just your thoughts of death, and Albedo's slowly crushing heart.

"You should probably leave soon as well. I don't want you to be here when I go." Albedo frowned at your statement, head shaking.

"Don't say things like that."

Of course, he'd say that. Why did he feel the need to ignore this when it would only come back to hurt him even more later on when you were gone?

"You're the smartest man I know and we both know where this is heading," You said, head feeling much heavier than before. It was getting closer to your time. "I'm going to die, and you can't do anything about it."

"I'm not leaving your side. We promised to stick together through everything, you can't ask me to leave."

"I guess... But promise me this."

"When I go, stop blaming Elizabeth. It was an accident..." You said sincerely. Albedo wanted to make a fuss about it, tell you he'd never been able to forgive her. But for you, he would try. If it was your list desire, your last wish, he'd make it come true. Though it would be difficult. Accidental or not, she was the reason you were leaving him here, alone.

"Okay, I'll try..." He said honestly.

"Thank you," You said, letting out a shaking breath you had been holding for a very long time. Now you felt much more peaceful. "And since I know you stubbornly won't leave," You started, finally turning away from the sink to look into his cerulean eyes. "At least hold my hand."

"Of course, love."

even a year after your death, no matter how hard he tried, there was still this nagging feeling every time he looked at Elizabeth

he wanted too badly forgive her, but he couldn't

she had, although accidental, taken the one person that meant so much to him and he'd never forgive

Albedo is gonna be distant towards everyone he knows and it's completely purposeful

he doesn't like the pitiful gazes that people send his way and he hates that all the captains stared at him at your funeral

obviously, some questioned if he was able to stay in the field

he hadn't taken any time off, even when Jean advised he was welcome and that it would be best

tbh, albedo's going to have a hard time for a while

Xiao

Why did it have to be you? Why not him? He'd feel much better knowing you could live another day, after all, he'd been living a very long time.

But no, the fallen Archons, Gods, Yaksha had chosen you to join them. He wished that weren't the case

Humans and their pathetic vessels... So weak, he thought. Allowing something like cancer to beat them.

No matter how harsh it sounded, he didn't despise you, no. It wasn't your fault. You didn't ask for this. He just knew that if you were a godly being this wouldn't have happened like this or at least not so soon; Xiao had known Gods that had terminal illnesses to live years. Why couldn't you be like them?

He hated watching you lie there in that bed, immobile, sickly, and tired, and all you could say was that everything was going to be alright, that he'd be alright.

But it wasn't. He wouldn't be okay without you. He would struggle daily, fall deeper into a hole. You were the light of his life, the only light in his life. And you were gone, just like that. Turning external scars into internal ones tattered all over his dying heart.

Xiao for the longest time has been by himself, so the people of Liyue know it'll be harder for him to overcome this, no matter what he says or does to prove otherwise

Zhongli in particular knows how hard this will be for his friend

his first and probably last love, dead, gone in the blink of an eye

he'll continue fighting all the monsters he crosses, becoming even more violent when he does so, trying his best to get rid of this stupid sickly feeling of heartbreak

but it won't go away, no matter what he does, no matter how absurd

he just wants the feeling to go away, he despises that feeling so much

if you have a secret place somewhere, like in the mountains, Zhongli often finds him there, wallowing in invisible self-pity

"You know they wouldn't want you to be like this." Zhongli would say, only trying to help

but it doesn't

it only enrages Xiao, even more, fuels him to push everyone out of his life again instead of letting them in like he'd done in your presence

Scaramouche

How dare you. How dare you leave him like this. Alone, nonetheless with a toddler to raise who kept crying for her mommy. He couldn't do this without you, he didn't know how to raise a child, speak to her with the gentle care that you did. That was your expertise but now he'd be doing it solo.

And never again would he entrust someone who he cares about, into ignorant, incompetent arms. Never again will he ever allow any member of the Fatui to watch after his daughter; no matter their rank or position. They had one job while he was away doing business in Liyue. Guard your home twenty-four seven, accompany you into Inazuma's port town should you need anything, watch after his daughter while she plays happily in the luscious Inazuma fields. And they couldn't do that. All he gave them was one simple task, watch and keep you and your daughter safe. Instead, they slacked off, probably drunk in some bar while you were being brutally attacked by murderous mercenaries, left to fend for you and your daughter, only to die protecting her and leave your home to be severely burned.

He knew those idiotic Fatui soldiers were incompetent the moment he stepped foot into the harbor and found that everyone seemed to quiet down. Especially the eerily silent soldiers flanked on each side to welcome him home; he was the highest-ranking soldier in the land of Inazuma after all. Not a single one bothered to step forward and tell him what was wrong, what they all criminally allowed happen. Scaramouche only realized what had happened when he was mere minutes away from arriving home, his daughter had come running from his widowed mother's arms, the sight of smoke rising in the air, from the direction of his home. You were nowhere to be seen.

It all happened so fast, in the blink of an eye. His daughter was clinging to his shirt and his mother only stared with tears of pity.

It didn't take long for the puzzle pieces to be put together and before he knew it, Scaramouche was standing in front of his home, part of it burnt to a crisp and black.

He didn't need to ask what happened, he didn't need to know where you were, because he already knew. What he didn't know was who exactly had done this. But he was going to find out, now.

Incompetent, selfish, bastards. They would all pay for this. The lazy piggish Fatui soldiers who he should've never trusted with such a simple task and the thieves who had murdered you. They all had it rightfully coming.

Scaramouche hates the world after he lost you

he hates it so much and can't understand how this had happened

he's not a good person, so he blames it on karma and those stupid idiots who couldn't protect you

ngl, he's not gonna be around much after your death... his mother would argue that he should be here to raise your daughter, because she's also in pain and doesn't understand that this isn't some game of hide and seek this time

instead, he's focused and driven by revenge

he doesn't listen to a word anybody says, he's much more dangerous than before, and he only trusts his judgment

anyone trying to get him to stop his mission, is someone who doesn't want to see him happy he thinks (though that's not true at all. they hate that he is obsessive over this) but he will personally put a stop to that

and he'll only return home to his daughter and mother when he finds who did this and they along with their bloodline is exterminated

while he's gone, the remainder of his family is relocated somewhere he knows they'll be safe, for example, even though he despises childe, he knows his mom and daughter will be safe with his family

sorry, but Scaramouche will hold this deep-rooted hatred and love for you after you die

yes, he still loves and misses you dearly, but he hates you for leaving him alone, hates that although it wasn't intentional and out of your control, that you were gone

no matter how hard you tried to fight, it was selfish of you to leave him like this

he's not going to stop until he believes whoever was behind this is dead

and in his case, he'll stop believing when he chooses, even if they are innocent/guilty, he'll keep going

3.19.21, rayofsunas

#rayofsunas #genshin impact #genshin impact imagines #genhsin impact scenarios #albedo #albedo x reader #xiao #xiao x reader #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader

[translations-by-aiimee]

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun - Chapter 25

Original Title:  二哈和他的白猫师尊

Genres: Drama, Romance, Tragedy, Xianxia, Yaoi

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter Index

Chapter 25 - This Venerable One Hates Him So Much!

Chu Wanning couldn't force a "go away" to leave his throat. There was a long sombre pause before he changed his answer to: "Come in."

"Huh? Your door isn't locked?" They had been giving each other the silent treatment all day. But now, Mo Ran had the intention of reconciling with him, so he pushed open the door as he spoke like nothing had ever happened. Chu Wanning, on the other hand, sat expressionlessly at the table. He raised his eyes and glanced at him faintly.

In all fairness, Mo Ran was incredibly beautiful, and the whole room seemed to brighten as soon as he walked in the door. He was indeed very young. His skin was tight and seemed to exude a faint glow. The corners of his mouth were naturally slightly curled, and he seemed to be smiling even when he wasn't showing any emotion.

Chu Wanning didn't move his eyes off of Mo Ran. His slender eyelashes drooped and raised his hand to pinch out the incense burning on the table. He coldly asked:

"What are you doing here?"

"I came. . . to check your injury." Mo Ran awkwardly coughed. His eyes fell on Chu Wanning's shoulder and he froze. "You dressed it already?"

Chu Wanning faintly said: "Yes."

Mo Ran didn't know what to say: ". . ."

He really hated Chu Wanning, and he was furious that Chu Wanning had hurt Shi Mei. But, after calming down, Mo Ran wasn't completely without a conscience. Yeah, he hated him, but he didn't forget that Chu Wanning's shoulder was injured.

In the claustrophobic coffin, Chu Wanning had tightly guarded him in his arms, blocking the Master of Ceremonies Ghost's claws with his own body. His body had trembled in pain but he didn't let go. . .

To Chu Wanning, Mo Ran was disgusting.

But in addition to disgust, some very complicated emotions were always mixed in with it for some reason.

He was a rude person. He didn't read books when he was a child. Although he obtained some literary knowledge later, he still couldn't grasp many concepts easily when it came to many delicate things, especially when it came to feelings.

For example, when it came to Chu Wanning, Mo Ran rubbed his head and pondered. The back of his head was going to go bald, but he still couldn't figure out what this feeling was.

He can only identify certain kinds of feelings: love, hate, detest, happiness and unhappiness.

If all these emotions were mixed together, the wise and powerful cultivation emperor would get crossed-eyed and really dizzy.

He didn't understand. He couldn't understand. He didn't know. Help, my head hurts.

So Mo Ran didn't bother to dwell on it. Besides, he didn't have time to focus on any details other than Shi Mei.

He didn't hold good feelings for Chu Wanning in his heart, and while secretly plotting when he might have an opportunity in the future, he would make him pay with double the ferocity. On the other hand, he felt guilty. After an internal battle with himself, he finally knocked on Chu Wanning's door.

He didn't want to owe Chu Wanning.

But Chu Wanning was more stubborn and ruthless than he thought.

Mo Ran stared at the pile of blood-stained cotton gauze on the table, the bowl of hot water stained red with blood, and the sharp knife that was thrown haphazardly thrown aside. The tip of the knife was still coated with flesh and blood. His head was spinning.

How did he manage to heal himself?

Had he really cut off the festering flesh without so much as blinking? Just imagining it sent a chill down his spine. Was this guy even human?

He thought about when he had cleaned up Shi Mei's wound. Shi Mei had groaned softly in pain with tears in the corners of his eyes. Even though Mo Ran didn’t like Chu Wanning, he couldn’t help but silently give him credit——

Elder Yuheng was truly a domineering and righteous man, no arguments there.

After standing in place for a while, Mo Ran was the first to break the silence. He coughed, tapping his toes against the floor, and awkwardly said: "What happened in the Chen house. . . Shizun, I'm sorry."

Chu Wanning didn't say anything.

Mo Ran stole a glance at him: "I shouldn't have yelled at you."

Chu Wanning still ignored him. His face was still. As always, he had no reaction, but that didn't mean he wasn't aggravated and just not saying anything.

Mo Ran walked over. When he got closer, he saw the mess of bandages on Chu Wanning's shoulder. The cotton gauze was tied in several different ways. It looked like a group of crabs that were stuck together.

". . ."

Also, for a person who doesn't know how to wash his own clothes, can he really be trusted to treat himself?

Mo Ran sighed: "Shizun, don't be angry."

"Do I look angry?" Chu Wanning angrily responded.

Mo Ran: ". ."

After a long pause.

"Shizun, that's not how you wrap a bandage. . ."

He retorted unceremoniously: "You want you to teach me?"

Mo Ran: ". . ."

He raised his hand. He wanted to help Chu Wanning untie the gauze and wrap it again, but he was observant and felt that if he dared to touch him, he might end up with a lashing, so he hesitated.

He raised his hand then lowered it, and then raised it again, repeating the action several times. Chu Wanning was getting annoyed. He squinted at him: "What are you doing? Do you still want to fight me?"

". . ." He really wanted to fight him, but now wasn't a good time.

Mo Ran smiled sheepishly. Throwing caution to the wind, he suddenly reached over and grabbed his shoulders, dimples appearing at the corners of his mouth: "Shizun, let me help you re-bandage it."

Chu Wanning wanted to refuse, but Mo Ran's warm fingers had already wrapped around the bandage. His mouth felt dry and stiff. He couldn't speak, so his lips moved slightly but nothing came out.

The gauze was peeled off layer by layer. Blood had soaked through it, and when it was all torn back, the five holes were piercingly obvious and hideous.

Just looking at it, he shuddered. It was many times more serious than the would on Shi Mei's face.

Mo Ran didn't know what he was looking at. He was stunned, then suddenly asked softly: "Does it hurt?"

Chu Wanning lowered his long and slender eyelashes, and simply said lightly: "It's fine."

Mo Ran said: "I'll be gentle."

Chu Wanning didn't know what he was thinking, and suddenly his ear flushed a little red. As a result, he got angry with himself again. He thought he was going crazy. All day he had been thinking up such nonsensical thoughts. His expression grew stiff. His temper worsened, and he said dryly, "It's up to you."

The candlelight in the guest room flickered. In the dim light, he could see that he had completely missed some spots with the ointment. Mo Ran was honestly speechless. He thought it was a miracle that Chu Wanning was still alive and healthy today.

"Shizun."

"Hmm?"

"What happened to you today at the Chen house? Why did you suddenly lash out and hit someone?" He asked while applying some ointment.

Chu Wanning was silent for a while, then replied: "I was angry."

Mo Ran asked: "Why were you so angry?"

Chu Wanning didn't want to trouble his disciple, so he told Mo Ran a brief and concise version of Luo Xianxian's story. After Mo Ran listened to the story, he shook his head: "You're stupid. In this kind of situation, even if you're angry, you shouldn't confront them about it to their face. If it were me, I would've made a mess of things and lie to them that the ghost had been removed, and then pat their asses and leave, letting them fend for themselves. Just look at you making a scene over such a rotten man. You knew you probably wouldn't get through to him, and then you missed and wounded Shi Mei--"

Halfway through the sentence, Mo Ran abruptly stopped. He stared silently at Chu Wanning.

He tied the bandage carefully. He was a little forgetful and he was talking to Chu Wanning like he had when he was 32, pretty cheekily.

Chu Wanning obviously noticed. He squinted his eyes, looking coldly at Mo Ran. That look resembled a very familiar phrase - "See if I don't whip you to death."

"Uh. . ."

Before his brain had thought up a response, Chu Wanning has already begun speaking.

He said indifferently: "Is Shi Mingjing the one I wanted to fight?"

When Shi Mei was mentioned, Mo Ran's originally calm mental state started to shift and his tone hardened: "Isn't he the person you hit?"

Chu Wanning did regret hitting him, but he couldn't admit it. At this moment, his face was sullen and he didn't say a word.

Chu Wanning was the stubborn type. Mo Ran was the lovesick type. Their eyes meet and sparks crackled. The atmosphere that had just eased a little became hopelessly stagnant again.

Mo Ran said: "Shi Mei didn't do anything wrong. Shizun, you hurt him by accident. Don't you want to say that you're sorry?"

Chu Wanning narrowed his eyes dangerously: "Are you questioning me?"

". . . I'm not." Mo Ran paused. "I just feel bad that he got hurt but never got an apology from Shizun."

Under the candlelight, the handsome and youthful teenager finished wrapping the last bandage on Chu Wanning's wound and carefully tied a knot. It may have looked like the scene was quite warm, but the mood between them had changed. Especially Chu Wanning; his chest felt like a jar of vinegar had exploded in it. The feeling of sourness was overwhelming and he felt angry and annoyed.

Apologize?

How do you even spell that word? Who'll teach him how to write?

Mo Ran said: "It'll take half a year for the wound on his face to heal. When I gave him some medicine just now, he still told me not to blame you. Shizun, he doesn't blame you, but do you think that justifies what you did?"

This sentence was tantamount to adding fuel to the fire.

Chu Wanning had been enduring it but he finally couldn't hold it back. He suppressed his voice and muttered: "Get out."

Mo Ran: ". . ."

Chu Wanning exploded: "Get out!"

Mo Ran was forced out and the door slammed shut in his face, almost clamping his fingers. Mo Ran was furious. Just look at this! What kind of person was this? All this just to avoid apologizing? Such cherished and treasured pride. What was so difficult about saying sorry? All he needs to do is move his mouth. This Venerable One was the Emperor TaXian, yet this Venerable One didn't hesitate to apologize to others. As for the Beidou Immortal, half of his words were inexplicable, as if he had swallowed them. What a ridiculous temper!

No wonder no one cared about such a handsome face!

It was a waste of time. He deserved to stay single for the rest of his life!

Since Chu Wanning would rather ignore him and give him a closed-door to talk to, then of course the high and mighty cultivation emperor, the emperor of the human world, wouldn't lose any sleep over this. Although he was tenacious and as hard to get rid of as a piece of sticky candy, he stuck to Shi Mei, not his shizun.

He immediately left without a care and went to join Shi Mei.

"Why are you back so soon?" Shi Mei was in the midst of lying down to rest when he saw Mo Yan come in. He froze and sat up, long strands of ink hair hanging all over the place. "How's Shizun?"

"Very good. His temper is as strong as usual."

Shi Mei: ". . ."

Mo Ran brought over a chair and sat on it backwards. His hand rested on the back of the Taishi chair, a lazy smile hanging on the corner of his mouth. His gaze flicked across the appearance of Shi Mei's soft and long hair.

Shi Mei said: "Why don't I go and see him. . ."

"Don't think too much about it." Mo Ran rolled his eyes. "He's terrible."

"Did you make him angry again?"

"He needs someone to provoke him? He makes himself angry. I think he's made of wood considering he's so flammable."

Shi Mei shook his head, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

Mo Ran said: "Get some rest. I'll borrow the kitchen downstairs and make you some food."

Shi Mei said: "What's the fuss? You haven't closed your eyes all night. Aren't you going to sleep?"

"Haha, I am in good spirits." Mo Ran laughed. "But if you can't bear me leaving, I can stay with you for a while until you fall asleep."

Shi Mei hurriedly waved his hand and said warmly: "No, if you have to look at me like this, I won't be able to sleep either. You should go to bed early. Don't exhaust yourself."

The curvature in the corners of his mouth stiffened slightly. Mo Ran was a little sad.

Although Shi Mei treated him kindly, he always maintained such a distant attitude. It was the attitude of someone who was obviously close at hand, but as the moon in the mirror and the flower in the water, he could be seen but not obtained.

". . . Okay." In the end, he just tried to cheer up and laughed. Mo Ran's smile was very bright. When he wasn't completely evil, he was actually pretty silly and cute. "Call me if you need anything. I'm either right next door or downstairs."

"Okay."

Mo Ran raised his hand, wanting to touch his hair, but he held back. He spun his hand around in the air and scratched his head.

"I'm leaving."

Outside of the room, Mo Ran couldn't help but sneeze.

He sniffed.

Because Caidie Town produced incense, the price of all the different kinds of incense wasn't as expensive, so the inn wasn't stingy with it. Each room was lit with a long branch of special incense; one can ward off evil spirits, another can dehumidify, the last one can give the room a nice fragrance.

But as soon as Mo Ran smelled the incense, it made him uncomfortable. But if Shi Mei liked it, he would endure it.

Coming downstairs, Mo Yan wandered over to the innkeeper, slipped him a silver ingot. He squinted his eyes and said with a smile: "Innkeeper, do me a favour."

The innkeeper looked at the silver ingot and smiled more politely at Mo Ran: "What is this immortal gentleman's request?"

Mo Ran said: "I see that not many people come here to eat breakfast. I wanted to discuss that with you. I want to use the kitchen this morning. Please let the other guests know."

How much money would breakfast make him? It would probably be impossible to earn a silver ingot in half a month. The innkeeper immediately smiled and agreed, leading the swaggering Mo Weiyu into the kitchen of the inn.

"You want to cook by yourself? It's better to let the chef in our inn do it. He's very talented."

"No need." Mo Ran smiled. "Have you heard of the Jade Wine Building in Xiangtan?"

"Ah. . . Is that the famous music performance building that started getting popular more than a year ago?"

Mo Ran: "Yeah."

The boss took a peek outside and confirmed that his wife was busy and couldn't overhear. He snickered and said, "Who hasn't heard of it? It's the most famous restaurant on the Xiangjiang River. It used to have a lead musician there. It’s a pity it's so far away, otherwise, I'd want to listen to her play a song."

Mo Ran laughed: "Thank you for the compliment. I'll pass it onto her."

"Pass it on?" The innkeeper was puzzled. "Do you know her?"

Mo Ran said: "More than just know."

"Wow. . .You don't say? But you cultivators can be. . . well. . ."

Mo Ran interrupted him with a smile: "Other than the lead musician, do you know anything else?"

"Hmm. . . Their food was said to be a must."

The corners of Mo Ran's mouth curled higher and he smiled brighter. He skillfully picked up the kitchen knife and said: "Before I took up cultivation, I was a cook in the kitchen in the Jade Wine Building for several years. You said that your chefs make delicious dishes. Whose is better, theirs or mine?"

The innkeeper was even more shocked, and stammered out: "You're really. . . really. . ."

He couldn't get the words out.

Mo Ran gazed at him with narrowed eyes. His smile was barely holding back his smug and cocky demeanour: "You can leave. This chef is going to cook something."

The innkeeper didn’t know that he was talking to the former Lord of Darkness, and he put on a cheeky expression: “I've heard a lot about Jade Wine House's exquisite desserts. I wonder if you would let me have a bite once they're ready?"

He didn't think this was too high of a request. Mo Ran would definitely agree.

Who would've expected Mo Ran to squint his eyes and say with a smirk: "You want some?"

"Hmph!"

"Really?" Mo Ran snorted. He was bursting with pride. He scoffed: "You think I would cook for just anyone? This Venerable One is doing this just for Shi Mei. If not for him, I wouldn't even be lighting a fire to cook. . ."

He flipped a radish over and started to slice it, muttering.

". . ." The innkeeper slumped defeatedly. He rubbed his hands and stood there awkwardly. He halfheartedly chuckled at him then left.

He was also muttering to himself.

This Venerable One? For someone this young, his spiritual core hasn't even fully formed yet. He thought about his chatter and how he was probably referring to his elder sister disciple, but there was no female cultivator among the group who walked with him today.

The innkeeper rolled his eyes.

This person must be deluded.

Mo Ran stayed busy in the kitchen for several hours. It was almost noon when the work was finished, and he rushed upstairs to wake Shi Mei up.

When passing by Chu Wanning's room, he slowly came to a stop.

Should he ask if he wanted to eat together. . .

Thinking of Chu Wanning's harsh temperament, Mo Ran's heart skipped a beat, his face full of contempt.

No, no, no. He only had a few portions. There wasn't enough to share with him!

#2ha novel #2ha translation #2ha #the husky and his white cat shizun translation #the husky and his white cat shizun #english translation #chinese bl #chinese novel #bl novel #yaoi novel #yaoi #danmei novel #danmei #chu wanning #mo ran #ranwan

[thrndlngs]

hey rose! (can i call you that?? sorry if that's not your preference) i may or may not have caught a case of crazy phat mad feelings for a boy and i was wondering if you had any cute headcanons about some of the MHA boys pining for a pretty fem reader?? i can't imagine this guy liking me back but i figure hey, if nobody got me ik pretty superhero boys got me AMEN lmbo no pressure on this request. hope you're doing well and things are okay in your world!! thanks love you!! first anon OUT 😌✌️✨💖

omg ya that’s totally cool!! i actually like that!!!! but omg, pls! i’m sure it’ll work out if not... hopefully these headcanons will help u out!!! LOVE U FIRST ANON!!!!!!!!

IZUKU MIDORIYA, 

will definitely stare at the back of your head during class and imagine 700 different scenarios that could ‘possibly’ happen if the two of you ever have a conversation that doesn’t involve school.

keeps note of your quirks and tries to give you pointers on how to use ur quirk via crumpled paper airplanes in the courtyard or slipped into ur locker.

will always, always, always keep an eye out for you to make sure you’re okay - if he sees you crying he’s gonna embarrass himself and be like, “you think that’s bad? kachan almost blew me to bits.” and now the both of you are crying.

daydreams about u.

whenever the class is training at the USJ or anywhere really, he’s bouncing. like. literally bouncing on his heels in case something goes wrong, he wants to be able to intervene. not because he thinks you’re not capable of fending for urself but it’s because he literally can not bare the thought of u getting hurt.

he definitely draws ur names with a heart and arrow through it!!!!!!!

really admires u and tries to be really nonchalant about how fond he’s become of u so when the two of you do have a conversation it’s just like... gibberish. you know when he goes on those little rants and the words cloud around him and everyone is like??? midoriya wtf. yeah like that.

BAKUGOU KATSUKI,

explosive boy definitely doesn’t know he likes you until he goes to recovery girl and recovery girl has to explain him the ‘weird’ feeling in his stomach, the rise of temperature in his face and the quickening of his pulse is literally because he has a crush. on you.

and boy does this raging blonde flip his shit. him?? have a crush??? when he’s trying to be number one hero??? a distraction??? not in this lobby.

easier said than done.

tries to avoid you at all costs. like even moves his seat permanently so he doesn’t have to breathe the same air as you.

no because during a training the two of you are teamed up and this man literally holds his breath like he’s five because he doesn’t want to inhale your ‘germs’. but he grows up a bit and realizes that you’re actually pretty strong and can handle your own. heavy emphasis on the pretty. 

so not only is he pinning for you but now he sees you as competition. so the initial plan to avoid you goes out of the window because he wants to one up you.

bakugou’s face is tomato red everytime the two of you spar and you think it’s because he’s mad but jokes on u.

takes a HOT minute but he’ll suffer in silence and just y’know open the door and wait five minutes for you to walk through it and then complain after. 

sees you in the hallway and flicks you in the forehead and reminds you that he’s going to be number one. but later beats himself up because wtf? why didn’t he say something else.

will go out of his way to fix your fighting stances and then have a coughing fit. so he’s going to push through his feelings but it’s really obvious to everyone else that he isn’t being lowkey, yknow?

IIDA TENYA,

my favorite class rep. he’s going to be so obvious about it. like. he’s an open book.

will offer to help you study. makes sure your chair is pulled out every morning so you don’t have to do it.

will also let you board the bus first.

will also tense up whenever you look at him. holds an emergency class meeting (excluding you) to figure out how to handle this ‘situation’ and everyone is like... dude

he takes kirishima’s ‘show her you’re a manly man’ to serious and tries to show off. with his grades, quirk and his class rep status which you know isn’t working so he’s back to square one. 

as bad as it sounds he makes a copy of all of his notes and color codes them based off of his you know ‘coding’ system and has it handy in case you don’t come to class one day or fall behind.

everyone knows but you. everyone also thinks that you would’ve found out by now since iida holds you on your own pedestal but! LOLKDSAJ

DENKI KAMINARI,

okay so.... this man... is so drama. he’s a clutz and obvious but he isn’t going to be direct. whether it’s because he’s scared of being rejected or because he’s not confident enough like bakugou and todoroki is unknown but anywayz

leans on the locker and tries to woo you with some words and falls. literally falls over. it’s okay though (in his eyes) because you immediately get eye level with him and try to check on him. it’s a win in his eyes.

is totally okay with the nickname ‘calamari’ but only likes it when you call him that. he tries to tell everyone that it’s a ‘you and him’ thing and gets teased abt it.

tries to include you in every conversation possible. he wants you to feel included in everything.

thinks ur like a walking goddess and that u should be treated as such.

he gets a little to excited around you so whenever the two of you touch he gives off some electricity and immediately goes on a thirty minute rant on how sorry he is.

makes you... a fucking... mixtape... with scribbled out hearts on the cover.

also... sends you songs to listen to but it’ll be like some random edm song and ur like”oh wow... love that...” and he’s like “ok cross that out she doesn’t like EDM.” and is DETERMINED to find out your favorite genre so the two of you have something to bond over.

changes your ringtone on his phone to the pokemon theme song because and i quote, “she’s the ash to my pikachu.”

isn’t so lowkey about his crush but??? everyone thinks he’s like?? just being himself?? so??? 

EIJIRO KIRISHIMA,

 bro. this man... THIS LOVELY SHARK BOY. 

is literally textbook definition of GENTLEMAN.

will not act on his feelings until YOU act on them because he’s scared he’ll overstep so he’s going to be like..... suffering in silence. but he doesn’t mind!!!!!!

holds the door 4 u. :)

checks on u 24/7.

stares at you in class and drools. 

walks with you like everywhere. literally. like to class, to the dorms, back to ur parents, to the mall. everywhere.

this is totally a best friend to lovers trope.

whenever he’s got doubt he will turn to u immediately because he trusts u and ur guidance. 

will even ask if u could spar with him (so you can a, spend time with him but b, because he wants u to be able to be the best version of urself u can be). 

whenever something goes south he will put his hand out in front of u. always. and you’ll wrap your fingers around his bicep and he will melt.

i think he knows he’s like... fucked because you explain to him that although his ‘hardening’ quirk makes his skin... rough, he’s still pretty soft. and smells nice.

man... that gets him THROUGH THE DAYS.

TODOROKI SHOTO,

another clueless boy. 

is very confused at first but after some hours of research he’s like oh. 

and then shit hits the fan.

like kirishima, really values your input and actually goes to you for advice for two reasons: one because you’re sensible and honest but it’s more for the simple reason that he’s trying to see what you like and don’t like.

you start to notice some changes in his behavior. not drastic ones but enough to raise an eyebrow.

is more vocal in his conversations with you.

tries his best to improve his body language (ie: will face you with undivided attention and arms unfolded to look more receptive) 

just stares at you in general to see what your reactions to things are.

like, in the hallway when ur talking to mina and the lowerclassmen says something stupid and the two of you scowl? well, guess what? now he doesn’t like that guy either and will give him a piece of his mind.

has your coffee order memorized so when ur staying up all night studying u have the energy to do so.

will sneak a protein bar and a water bottle in ur locker the day after those binge studying sessions to ensure that you’re you know okay.

#todoroki x female reader #todoroki headcanons #todoroki x fem!reader #kirishima x female reader #kirishima x fem!reader #kirishima headcanons #kaminari x fem!reader #kaminari x female reader #kaminari headcanons #tenya x fem!reader #tenya x female reader #tenya headcanons #bakugou x fem!reader #bakugou x female reader #bakugou headcanons #deku x fem!reader #deku x female reader #deku headcanons #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #( i really don't feel like i did this well buT I HOPE U LIKE IT FIRST ANON!!!!!!! #I LOVE U!!!!!! #if it's not what u want let me know and i'll redo!!!! ) #: ̗̀➛ first anon. #( shoto todoroki ) / * headcanons . #( eijiro kirishima ) / * headcanons . #( denki kaminari ) / * headcanons . #( tenya iida ) / * headcanons . #( katsuki bakugou ) / * headcanons . #( izuku midoriya ) / * headcanons .

[basic-otaku]

My thoughts on Xue Yang's character (based on the drama and novel)

Xue Yang is a character I didn’t fully understand until I finished The Untamed. I looked back on him with a bit of pity but little understanding. It wasn’t until I listened to his character song that I truly began to dissect his character. Reading those lyrics completely flipped my perspective on him, and I went back to watch the Yi City arc again. I was shocked by how much I had missed. Xue Yang has since become one of my favorite characters of the series. I’ve spent so much time thinking about him and his motives that I finally decided to write down my thoughts. This analysis comes mostly from what I perceived, so it may differ from other people’s opinions. You are free to disagree with me.

Let’s start with what we know: Xue Yang was a street kid with a hard childhood. We know he was abandoned at a young age, but we don’t know how young. However, he must have been old enough to survive, so he couldn’t have been younger than four when he started fending for himself. We don’t know who his parents are because he doesn’t remember them, nor does he remember anyone else who had potentially taken care of him. His parents could be dead for all we know, or they could have dumped him somewhere when they no longer wanted to take care of him. It’s all up to speculation. He also has a very high pain tolerance, probably due to constant beatings as a child.

When you’re all alone in the world, you have to learn to put yourself first. There’s no one to care for you, so only you can care for yourself. I believe that Xue Yang wasn’t always a bad person because no one is inherently evil. However, because he was alone, there was no one to nurture him and teach him right from wrong. When all you experience is violence and hatred, that becomes your response to similar situations; you don’t expect kindness or want to give it in return.

One of Xue Yang’s flaws as a child was his naivety — he was much too quick to trust. That’s how he got himself into such a bad situation. He was eager to have something he was never able to have (candy), so he immediately trusted that shopkeeper when he said he could have some as a reward for running an errand. What he got in return wasn’t candy, but a brutal beating and a severed pinky. If Xue Yang had still had any faith left in humanity, this is the point where it would have left him. The remaining childhood innocence in him was gone. This brings me to an interesting piece of dialogue. In Yi City, when Xue Yang confronts Song Lan and tells him what he’s been up to, Song Lan curses at him, calling him an animal. Xue Yang laughs at him and says, “I quit using those words when I was seven.” And what happened to Xue Yang’s finger? “One finger was ground into battered flesh on the spot. The child was seven.” Even Xue Yang himself knows that moment was when everything changed, and he still carries the resentment with him now.

Back to the cart incident. This event scarred him for life and was the primary reason he became a sociopath. Now he’s bent on revenge. He was powerless as a child; just another street rat who shouldn’t be treated like a human being nor spared any pity. So, when he realizes he can do the same to those that hurt him, he takes it much further. When he was old enough and strong enough, he exacts his revenge. He wanted to make the Chang Clan feel his pain — not only for the finger he had lost but for his whole miserable life up to that point. If no one deigned to understand him, then he’d make them understand in the only way he knew how. With violence.

Xue Yang was only fifteen or sixteen when he slaughtered the Chang Clan, killing more than fifty people. This is where he meets Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan. From the first moment, Xue Yang hates Xiao Xingchen. He’s so righteous, so full of light. He thinks he makes the world better just by doing a little good. What a hypocrite. Where was he when he was needed? Where was he when Xue Yang was a seven-year-old boy left crying in the streets after having his finger ground to a pulp? No, nobody can be that good.

When Xue Yang is captured by Wei Wuxian and the others, Xiao Xingchen takes him back to Qinghe to be apprehended, and Xue Yang vows to get his revenge on Xiao Xingchen for it. It isn’t long after he escapes from Qinghe that Xue Yang slaughters Baixue Temple, blinding Song Lan in the process. According to Xue Yang’s logic, hurting Xiao Xingchen’s friend is just as bad as hurting Xiao Xingchen himself. This is what causes the rift between Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan. Without this incident, Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen may never have met again.

A few years have likely passed while Xue Yang was working for Jin Guangyao. He is probably closer to eighteen or nineteen when Jin Guangyao injures him and throws him out, which is how Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing find him. Xiao Xingchen doesn’t hesitate in bringing Xue Yang back to Yi City with him and A-Qing and caring for his wounds. Xue Yang wakes up pained and disoriented, but he immediately tries to back away when he realizes who is tending to him. He doesn’t know Xiao Xingchen is unaware of his identity, and probably thinks that Xiao Xingchen is getting ready to take him to face justice or something. But Xiao Xingchen insists that he doesn’t need to know who Xue Yang is and that he’s only doing what’s right. Xue Yang is clearly shocked by this admission. He truly cannot comprehend kindness, and this is the first time he’s ever experienced it.

This is also the first time we get to see his genuine smile. It’s shocked and incredulous, like he can’t believe this is happening, but it’s there. Throughout the series, Xue Yang’s snarky words and sly smirk are a token of his character, but now we know they are just a mask he uses to hide the small, broken child inside of him. If no one can see the hurt he hides, then no one can hurt him further. But with just one kind gesture, Xiao Xingchen was able to bring out the young boy who just wanted love and comfort.

This kindness is such a foreign concept to Xue Yang that he doesn’t think it’s genuine for a long time. But as the years pass, Xue Yang comes to realize that Xiao Xingchen isn’t a threat. This is something he scoffs at. Xiao Xingchen is ridiculously naïve; so stupid. If he knew who he was living with, who he was eating with, he wouldn’t act like this. He would treat Xue Yang the same way everyone else had. So, Xue Yang decides to trick Xiao Xingchen into murdering innocent people for revenge. Xue Yang can’t wait for Xiao Xingchen to find out what Xue Yang has made him do because it’ll break him. What this revenge is for is up to interpretation. Maybe he’s still angry about being captured and sent to Qinghe. Maybe he’s angry at the world for treating him so badly. Maybe Xue Yang wants to show Xiao Xingchen that his worldview is stupid and that there are no good or pure people in the world. I choose to believe that it’s the last one.

At least, this is his motivation at first — he slowly loses the will to harm Xiao Xingchen. This brings me to another interesting point. In episode three, Xue Yang says he doesn’t fear death, he fears boredom. But isn’t this domestic life he’s living with Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing considered boring by his standards? I think the boredom he speaks of is really the fear of being alone and having nothing at all. Now he’s happy, however reluctantly he’s willing to admit it. He wouldn’t have put up with A-Qing’s petulant behavior if he didn’t enjoy the time they spent together. Although they didn’t get along at first, Xue Yang protects A-Qing and takes care of her like an annoying older brother. He teases her, sure, but he also cuts her apple slices in the shape of rabbits and gives her advice on how to scare away the people who bully her (even though killing them isn’t great advice). Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing were the family he never had. Now he would do anything to preserve the life he is living.

After about a year, Xue Yang’s plan stopped being about revenge. I’m not completely sure how he justified this change of heart, but I like to think he told himself he was still biding his time and that he’d get back to it eventually (even if he had stopped thinking about hurting Xiao Xingchen). Based on what A-Qing told Song Lan when he arrived at Yi City, Xue Yang hadn’t taken Xiao Xingchen out on one of those night hunts in a long time. And most of the people that Xue Yang made Xiao Xingchen kill were the merchants that made fun of his blindness and cheated him with bad vegetables and high prices. It was a messed-up way to get revenge for Xiao Xingchen. Xue Yang hates being looked down on, so shouldn’t Xiao Xingchen feel the same way?

Nevertheless, the time they spent in Yi City was probably the only time Xue Yang had been happy in his entire life. Xiao Xingchen was so in tune with what Xue Yang needed that Xue Yang came to care for him deeply. Whether those feelings were romantic or platonic in nature is up to the viewer, but I believe Xue Yang had fallen in love with Xiao Xingchen in the only sick and twisted way he could. Xiao Xingchen understood him more than anyone ever had, going so far as to listen to his idle ramblings and bring him a piece of candy every day after hearing that he had loved sweets as a child but could never have any. He managed to tame the savage beast in Xue Yang’s heart with only his presence and basic human decency. Xue Yang’s bloodlust was satiated as long as he had Xiao Xingchen to take care of him. At this point, I don’t think he would ever actually kill Xiao Xingchen. He had stopped wanting to hurt him a long time ago. A-Qing? Sure. She’s expendable, but Xiao Xingchen is irreplaceable. Even if Xue Yang reluctantly came to care about her, it wasn’t the same kind of bond. She had never shown him the same kindness that Xiao Xingchen had. He wouldn’t hesitate to hurt her if she betrayed him, but she was important to Xiao Xingchen, which meant he couldn’t do her any harm if he didn’t want to disrupt their happy life.

If Song Lan hadn’t found them, how long would Xue Yang have stayed? I don’t even think he knew. He just knew that he didn’t want to leave anymore. Xiao Xingchen gave him too much for him to want that. The viewer can easily see the happiness in his eyes when he looks at Xiao Xingchen. Xue Yang acts like a kid around him — playing games, joking around, making him laugh with childish remarks. Even in the quiet moments, he’s happy. This was especially noticeable in the campfire scene. It wasn’t shown in the original drama, but in the special edition, Xue Yang smiled at Xiao Xingchen from across the fire, and the look in his eyes as he gazed at his daozhang was so tender that it honestly caught me off guard. It seemed to catch Xue Yang off guard too because he caught himself, and the smile slowly fell. It’s like he realized what he’s doing and remembered that this should be about revenge.

Where in the past, Xue Yang hated Xiao Xingchen for his righteousness, he now loves him for his naivety. Without it, Xue Yang knows that Xiao Xingchen would be disgusted with himself. There would be no more laughs, no more games, and no more smiles. Then Xue Yang would lose the one person who didn’t treat him like dirt. So, when Song Lan finds them, Xue Yang immediately perceives it as a threat to their domestic life. He knows how important Song Lan is to Xiao Xingchen, and there’s no doubt in his mind that Xiao Xingchen won’t hesitate to leave with Song Lan when he discovers Xue Yang’s identity.

Furthermore, Xue Yang resents Song Lan for taking Xiao Xingchen’s eyes (even though it was voluntary on Xiao Xingchen’s part and was essentially Xue Yang’s fault). His logic tells him that having Xiao Xingchen kill Song Lan would be the perfect way for Xiao Xingchen to get his revenge. What Xue Yang doesn’t understand is that not everyone thinks about things in the context of revenge. I don’t believe Xiao Xingchen ever truly regretted giving up his sight. But Xue Yang can’t comprehend how someone could be that selfless.

This is where it all falls apart. A-Qing sees what happened to Song Lan, and she runs to Xiao Xingchen and tells him everything. When Xiao Xingchen comes back to confront him, Xue Yang spills it all. There’s nothing left for him to lose. His mask falls again, and he basically bares his soul to Xiao Xingchen. This is probably the first time he’s told the story about his finger, and I think he genuinely thought Xiao Xingchen was going to understand him; that if he knew what Xue Yang went through, he’d sympathize with him and justify his action (thereby justifying his feelings). Instead of that, however, Xiao Xingchen calls him disgusting, and it flips a switch inside of Xue Yang. How can Xiao Xingchen call him disgusting when he’s killed people too?

I think one of the reasons Xue Yang led Xiao Xingchen to kill those people was to bring Xiao Xingchen down to his level. Xue Yang doesn’t think that anyone can be as good as Xiao Xingchen claimed to be, so he had to taint his perfect record. Maybe if he killed people, Xiao Xingchen would understand him. Xue Yang thought that when Xiao Xingchen found out, he’d stay with him. Now he’s not the same righteous person he used to be, so how could he be good enough to travel the world with Song Lan? No, he should stay with Xue Yang instead and live a happy life together.

So, when Xiao Xingchen calls him disgusting, Xue Yang was probably confused and upset, which made him instinctively put his mask back up. Being vulnerable only hurt him again, so he’s back to harsh words and smirks, telling Xiao Xingchen that this is why he’s always hated him and that all of this was fun. Fun in every sense of the word: the killing and the happiness.

Xiao Xingchen finding out that he killed Song Lan was the last straw. Xue Yang is still laughing as Xiao Xingchen slits his own throat. It takes a moment for the realization to set in, but as it does, the smile falls from Xue Yang’s lips, and his hands begin to shake. This is the third time his mask has fallen. His eyes begin to well with tears, but he tries to keep up his act, saying that dead ones are easier to control, but the only one he’s acting for is himself.

The next scene is the one that really solidified Xue Yang’s feelings for me. He cleans the blood from Xiao Xingchen’s skin with the same care that Xiao Xingchen had shown him when he first found Xue Yang in that ditch. Xue Yang clearly thinks that Xiao Xingchen is going to come back and that the ritual will work, that he staves off his tears and sets out food for both of them. He considers eating his candy but then decides he should wait until Xiao Xingchen comes back. If he’s back, then Xue Yang is sure to get another piece.

When he realizes that the ritual isn’t working and Xiao Xingchen isn’t coming back, he breaks down. The tantrum he throws is so full of rage and anguish that it really shows the depth of his feelings for Xiao Xingchen. Again, he goes back to acting, trying to guilt Xiao Xingchen’s dead body into coming back to life by telling him all the terrible things he’ll do to Song Lan and A-Qing if he doesn’t reawaken. Obviously, Xiao Xingchen can’t hear him, and Xue Yang knows this, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. He finally dissolves into tears, screaming and crying over Xiao Xingchen’s corpse. This may have been the first time he’s cried since he lost his finger. Crying is for innocent, naïve children, and it doesn’t help anybody. But now Xue Yang has had a taste of pure sweetness and doesn’t want to go back to the bitter life he has known, so he finally lets himself weep for all the things he could have had.

Xue Yang spent the next seven years trying to bring Xiao Xingchen back to life with no success. We don’t know much about his activities after Yi City, but we have gotten information through rumors that Shuanghua was being used to kill innocents. It seems like Xue Yang wanted to keep a part of Xiao Xingchen with him. He even continued his sick revenge plot after Xiao Xingchen’s death by gouging out the eyes of and killing the remains of the Chang Clan, including their leader, Chang Ping, by lingchi. Xue Yang doesn’t blame himself in the slightest; he just thinks that Xiao Xingchen’s death was an unfortunate consequence of the situation. He will put the blame on anyone and everyone other than himself. Thus, instead of performing lingchi on himself like Wei Wuxian suggested, he takes out his anger on the remains of the Chang Clan.

Everything Xue Yang does in the present is tied to Xiao Xingchen, yet he still can’t bring him back. So, when he heard that the Yiling Patriarch had suddenly come back to life, Xue Yang knew it was his last chance. The sword ghost/ghost arm is what led Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji to Yi City. It was pointing to its murderer. I’m sure Xue Yang could have avoided a confrontation if he wanted, but this was intentional. As for the juniors, I have a feeling that Xue Yang was behind the cat corpses that led them to meet up with Wei Wuxian. This is still unclear though because Xue Yang doesn’t have a real reason to get them involved. The only person he needs is Wei Wuxian.

Xue Yang has tried everything at this point. So, when Wei Wuxian finds him in Yi City, pretending to be Xiao Xingchen, he is completely desperate. I do wonder if that is something he has done more than once. Did he often go around dressed as Xiao Xingchen? Was he playing with the life they had in Yi City? Pretending he was still there? Or was it a one-time thing to trick Wei Wuxian into dropping his guard? I also wonder how often he used his own sword because only after Lan Zhan took Shuanghua from him did he pull out Jiangzai. That could be because he was acting as Xiao Xingchen, but we can’t be sure. However, that isn’t the point. Right now, Wei Wuxian was Xue Yang’s only option because the Yiling Patriarch surely knew things he didn’t. Xue Yang had lived with Xiao Xingchen’s corpse for those seven years, keeping him in pristine condition. I’m pretty sure the only way Xue Yang could have done this was by giving him spiritual energy every day, which would be incredibly draining. I don’t think Xue Yang had an exceptionally strong golden core to begin with either. He is primarily a demonic cultivator, which means he doesn’t use his golden core often. It must have taken most of his strength to keep Xiao Xingchen’s body in such good condition. But anything for daozhang, right? Xue Yang needed Xiao Xingchen’s body to be perfect when he returned. He also put aside his pride and used Song Lan for protection all those years. He kept the one person he continued to hate with a burning passion around him for so long.

When Wei Wuxian tells Xue Yang he can’t bring Xiao Xingchen back to life because his soul is too broken, Xue Yang refuses to believe it. It’s been seven years already; he can’t give up now. Deep down, I believe Xue Yang knows Xiao Xingchen wouldn’t want anything to do with him even if he did come back, but he can’t figure out why. Because nothing was his fault, of course.

Something Wei Wuxian said really struck me as I went back to rewatch episode 39. Before the fight, Wei Wuxian turns to Xue Yang and says, “you disgust him to the core, yet you still want to pull him back to play this stupid game.” Xue Yang responds with “I want nothing of the kind.” And he’s being honest. He doesn’t want a stupid game — he wants something real. He wants a life where Xiao Xingchen knows his identity and stays with him in spite of it. He just wants one person to accept him as he is, but that will never, nor could ever, happen —not with all the crimes he has committed.

When Lan Wangji cut off his arm, leaving Xue Yang bleeding on the ground, I think he knew it was over. There was nothing left for him now. He was never getting Xiao Xingchen back. He never had him in the first place, not in any way that counted. So he laughs, blood spilling from his lips, to cover up the tears he wishes he could cry.

He’s ready when Song Lan stabs him, dying with a smile on his face as he gazes at the last piece of candy Xiao Xingchen had ever given him. It’s blackened and inedible, yet Xue Yang held on to it for so long; it was a reminder of his daozhang and of why he was fighting so hard. Like his character song said, he was “too determined to let go.”

It’s kind of sad that even in death, he was never respected by anyone other than Xiao Xingchen, and all of that was built on a lie. He didn’t even get a proper burial, although I suppose he kind of deserved it. Xue Yang is the character I pity the most in this series. He isn’t a good person, nowhere near it, and he deserved the end he got, but I wish things could have been different. What hurts is that it just as easily could have been Wei Wuxian. If Xue Yang had been taken in as a child; if he’d had his own Jiang Fengmian, his own Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli, he could have been happier. Maybe none of this would have happened. Maybe he would have met Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan and started a sect with them. Realistically, he and Xiao Xingchen would never be lovers because Xiao Xingchen was so strongly connected to Song Lan, but I think they could have been friends.

However, one question I still have is did Xue Yang fall in love with Xiao Xingchen because of how he treated him or because of the person Xiao Xingchen really was? If they had met under different circumstances (and if Xue Yang had had a support system when he was young), would Xue Yang have still fallen in love with him? I guess that’s up to the viewer to decide.

Ultimately, Xue Yang is still a sociopath who can’t understand empathy or feel remorse, so I don’t think he regretted any of his crimes. However, I do believe that Xue Yang regretted the consequences of his actions in Yi City. He didn’t want Xiao Xingchen to die, but his actions were what caused his death. It’s more of a dissatisfaction with where things ended up than feeling guilty for his death. Although I don’t think Xue Yang felt remorseful, that doesn’t mean he wasn’t grieving, nor does it mean his feelings for Xiao Xingchen weren’t as genuine as they could have been.

I don’t know where Xue Yang or Xiao Xingchen will end up now, but I hope they’ll both be happy in their next lives. The same goes for A-Qing and Song Lan (when he finally meets his true end). There are so many things that contributed to Xue Yang’s unstable mind, but I think the moral of the story is that it pays to be kind. If just one person had taken pity on him as a child — had shown him that there was good in the world — I wonder what kind of person he would have become.

I already know how cruel fate is

Not looking, not asking, not grieving, not hating

Waiting to relive my life just for a single person

Ups and downs in life

I would leave no regrets

I tried searching in the darkness of night

When I am trapped in the past

I still hope that a flicker of light will appear in my heart

The legend of this lonely city

Who came here before?

And gifted to me my karma

I am waiting for this karma to liberate spirits, liberate souls, and liberate me

Even though I am already too determined to let go

If I get rid of these inner demons

Would you forgive me?

Gaining freedom from destiny, starting all over again

#xue yang #yi city #xuexiao #xiao xingchen #song lan #song zichen #fandom essay #character study #character analysis #a qing #wei wuxian #lan wangji #jin guangyao #the untamed #cql #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #featuring XY's character song lyrics for maximum ouch #why do I love the evil candyman #someone explain #he is tragic sad boi #still don't forgive him tho #XXC deserved better #but then again #so did XY

[kojinnie]

Why you should NOT date AOT boys... (2)

I advised you but you still didn’t listen just because your fave was not on the first part. So hereby I present to you, reasons why these boys will only give you headache, part two!

Enjoy my lovelies, and stop hurting yourself with these men!

Regards,

Your ever-so-concerned friend, Kojin.

erwin - zeke - jean - connie

part one here (levi - eren - armin - reiner)

— ERWIN

This is not gonna be easy. You’re dealing with a man who has received multitude of achievements and recognition for being who he is and for doing things his own way, so obviously he is at that point in his life where he’s very comfortable in being who he already is. It’s all for a reason though, for Erwin oozes a certain kind of authority that is justified by his sharp thinking and years of experience. He is a self-made man and his success was the work of nobody but his own doing. So obviously, he has this uncanny self-assurance that is not easy to be dissuaded. He is ”The Man” character you hear about in pop songs and movies, and alike to dating Levi, the idea of being with Erwin gives you a sense of pride, you’ll be the most flattered whenever you hear people look at you with certain kind of acknowledgment, “Oh, that’s the one Erwin chooses.”

If you have problem with your self-esteem or you constantly doubt yourself, being with Erwin –especially when you have an established relationship— can really encourage you, to make you realize that there is a great thing in you, that even someone with the caliber of Erwin Smith can see. However, this may also lead to a bad thing because little by little, whether you realize it or not, your identity will be blurred with the constant presence of Erwin around you, simply because he has that magnificence in him that lures the limelight in, and your name will only be left as a prop to better dress the mannequin. This is a man who hardly ever hears “no” in his life, although he will never be violent or do things against your wish, it feels natural for him to always have a say in whatever you do. From the way you dress, your career trajectory, to decision for everyday chore. You would often feel as if you have no room to grow on your own because everything is decided by Erwin, where your opinion is dismissed. The most infuriating aspect of Erwin is that he will do all the aforementioned in such a sweet way. Caressing your cheek, patting your head softly before condescendingly says things like: “Honey, if you’ve seen what I’ve seen, you’ll understand. So for now, let’s just go with [insert his decision], okay?”

The ideal relationship for you and Erwin is if you have been with him since the get-go, before he made a name for himself. The good thing about Erwin is that he values nurture and he will show the utmost gratitude to whomever stood by him since day one. He will flaunt you, mention your name in every awarding speech, praise your perseverance for staying with him while actively making your own mark in your job. Basically, to survive a healthy and thriving romantic relationship with Erwin, you gotta see the quality in him before all the flashy titles, and you gotta be at similar degree of excellence with him. You gotta have his respect, you gotta make a name for yourself, only then he will listen to you and treat you as equal. So if you are still unsure about yourself, and you need constant reassurance about your role in this world, don’t go for Erwin, it will only exacerbate your self-doubt.

— ZEKE

Good god, this man. Where do I start? Okay, so you’re dealing with someone similar to Erwin, who enjoys a point in his life where his professional excellence has been widely established, he even has attained an almost mythical status. Remember how much the Warriors look up to him, saying things like “The enemies are no match to Zeke”? That’s basically his everyday life, and he has gotten so used to hearing that drilled into his ears for years.

For sure, he has a solid self-assurance; he knows what he wants, he knows how to get it, and anyone’s opinion holds very little value to him. But unlike Erwin, Zeke has grown sick of the compliment and has come to think that people are just licking his ass. This is because he made his success with little to no help from anyone else, and he has seen how differently people treated him back when he was just a nameless guy, compared to now, where he has made a name for himself. This experience, created a contradiction in his personality: One, the confident and self-assured Zeke, where he realizes that he’s smarter than most people, and; Two, the self-doubting Zeke, thinking that he is deemed as smart just because everyone comparable to him is stupid. He fears that it’s only until he meets someone smarter than him, before people finally realize that he’s a fraud. He’s the type to spew seemingly condescending remarks in a very casual way, like whenever someone comes to him in an awe and asks how does he do the things he does, he will just shrug it off and say, “I don’t know why everyone’s making a big deal out of that. It’s so easy.” When actually it’s just him, displaying his incomprehension on what make people think that he’s amazing when he hardly sees it.

Zeke leads a life where he thinks he can do whatever he wants, since he does not have a care in the world for anyone’s opinion and validation. This is because Zeke thinks either they are unworthy of his attention, or any person who has ever shown any interest towards him was only after something for themselves. In his early life, Zeke gets used a lot by people he trusted, and so this resulted in him not believing that someone would come to him and truly care for him with no pretense or hidden motives. The idea that he can be loved unconditionally is incredibly foreign, if not impossible to him. And this is the truth about him that he does not like to admit.

This is a person whose motto is to “enjoy things” because the enjoyment of things keeps him distracted from the disappointment he holds against people. So naturally, he does not like sentimental attachment, let alone committed relationship. What Zeke needs is just someone that he can ring up casually (and only occasionally because he’s always kept up with a lot of his professional endeavors), and spoil him with nearly childish affection. He likes to come home to someone who does not see him as this heroic figure that everybody sees, and rather just a careless kid who collects baseball cards with no active parent figure. He likes the cuddles, the kisses, the strokes, the lazy mornings where you pamper him like a demanding baby, because he never gets to experience such candid loving from his childhood, for he had to fend for himself since very young.

He likes to call you up late at night, with a sulk in his voice, “Baby can I come over…?” for you to act annoyed and reluctantly say yes to him. He likes that. He’s corny like that. But once he’s out the door, don’t expect him to text his whereabout or make your name known to the world, because he cannot afford such dire attachment. He’s as free as the bird, and after all, caging him into a committal relationship only justifies his belief that someone would only love him because they’re after something.

— JEAN

Jean is tenacity personified. He wasn’t born talented or lucky enough to have special heritage runs in his blood, he is flawed with a lot of shortcomings, but what makes him stands out is his capability to persevere in the eyes of adversity. To keep on trying although he does not pass the initial mark, and that’s exactly what makes him special. In dating Jean, you will never run out of things to do or talk about, because Jean will always try to make the best out of every situation with his resourcefulness. It’s very nourishing to see someone make such a big effort for you, and if you lack assurance that someone would go extra miles for you, then seeing Jean breaks his back trying to catch your smile is such a sight that you will cherish for a long time.

However, deep inside, Jean is a very exhausted man. He often feels like he is at the end of his wit trying to make everything works. He is deeply wearied by having to be at his top game every minute to compete, and fears that if his grasp slips even just a little, he will quickly fall behind everyone. This will result in Jean being torn apart between work and you, for he always has the urge to put tenfold effort to match others’ casual effort. So expect a lot of calls unanswered and rescheduled date nights during the weekdays. Although he feels extremely regretful with this condition, he also believes that there is nothing he can do, for he thinks he was born unfortunate and this is the effort he has to make due in order to catch up with the others.

All this unhealthy sense of urgency from always having the need to compete often sends Jean into a state of paranoia. He fears that people may team up against him, or that he’s being left out. It’s really frustrating to see Jean having the need to reply to a stupid meme Eren sends at 4 AM while getting high, just because Jean fears that if he does not reply immediately, he will wake up the next day with people already talking about the things he missed. He is always on guard, and as much as he tries to give in to his relationship with you, sometimes you would feel like his mind is not at home. His mind is out there wondering whether he will ever make a name for himself without being compared to people who exerts considerably less effort than him.

Being with Jean, you gotta understand where his fear lies, and you gotta be very calm when dealing with all of his paranoid urges. Whenever he’s not home because he overworks himself, don’t bombard him with calls and text messages, just give him time and welcome him home with warmth and a sense of ease. Be the person where he puts his hair down after a whole day of gruesome work. Jean needs a lot of validation especially from the person he loves (and he feels guilty towards for seemingly neglecting you over work), all he needs to hear is just “You did well today”, and he would be more than thankful. Make time as well to give him little surprise, to make him realizes that you are the one place he does not need to compete with anyone else for you are his home. When it comes to Jean, it’s about give and take, he doesn’t do well with a diva who demands attention 24/7, nor he does well with someone who is seemingly way over his league, for it will worsen his insecurity.

Point is, Jean is an amazing man, guys, I couldn’t really point out why you should NOT date him, because in fact, you SHOULD date him. Being with him is a learning curve, not only for you but also for him, to understand that in a relationship not only that you gotta love, but also to compromise.

— CONNIE

Connie, oh Connie. We all love Connie, he’s the guy who would complete a picture, a party is a bore without the sight of him, we all just love us some Connie, but often to his expense. People love Connie because he is outgoing, humble, and has this salt-of-the-earth persona, but more often than not, people also use him as a comedic relief, and although at first, he enjoys it because he would like the idea that people look forward to him, sometimes it also takes a toll in him, it makes Connie wonder whether he will ever be fit for bigger purpose other than someone else’s humor.

Connie thrives in being helpful to other people, he believes being of service is his greatest merit and thus he never complains whenever someone asks him to do something, nor does he ever dislike doing things for other people. But often he wonders even after all the great services he has done to other people, why haven’t people seen him as more than just a comedic relief? Why can’t he be the hero of a story, instead of just the people’s favorite side character? This thought lingers a lot in his mind, and if he does not find a way to let it out somehow, this may grow into a bitterness for he feels used.

Make no mistake though, Connie does not yearn to have the limelight on his own, he is content with his position, all he needs is a bit of credit and affirmation that he is as important his other peers. That he is not overlooked nor that he is expendable. Without this, Connie might grow to become resentful of people as he thinks they will only use him to their advantages. He will get easily jealous or at high alert, just because you passingly joke about Jean being handsome with his new haircut. He may go into that rabbit hole of anxiety, waiting until the day when you finally leave him for being mediocre and opt for his more attractive friend.

When this side of him comes out, initially he will be overtly self-deprecating. Masking it as a joke just to fish a reaction from you. If you laugh along, not knowing that it was a test, he will be sure that you are just using him and it won’t be long until you depart for someone with more load than him. Once he sets his mind, he can be quite vindictive to you, casually assuming you of the worst while trying to pass it as a joke. When this side of Connie comes out, the last thing you should do is to get riled up. Connie is not being rational, so you gotta be the adult here unfortunately. You gotta shower him with a lot of affection in the form of services like he’s always do to people around him, and slowly work your way to the topic you are meaning to ask. Connie might be alluding the question for a while, until he finally comes clean that he was jealous and did not know how to properly address this feeling.

Being with Connie comes with the responsibility of making a home for him where finally he gets to be the center attention. He is not a narcissist, so he does not want everything to center around him. All he wanna be is to be seen, in which every effort he has made to the people he loves are being outwardly recognized and thanked for. Little things would really make Connie happy, like posting a lot of photos with him on your social media, or arranging surprise birthday party with his co-workers where he can finally experience what it feels like to be the likes of Eren or Jean.

Thank you guys for all the likes, reblogs and comments - YOU ALL MAKE MY DAY. I was on the verge of being sure that no one would like things I write, but this.. This... (wails in telenovela style). I thank you and I wish you a great week ahead!

Guys for real if you still simp these guys even after this fair warning then I have no choice but to give you a personalized reason on why you should not date your fave AOT characters! 

> [CLOSED] Twisted Match-Up!  Send me three worst traits of yours + your AOT fave character and I’ll make you a short scenario on how shitty your relationship would be with them.  Fire away here!

#aot headcanons #erwin headcanons #zeke headcan #jean headcanons #connie headcanons #erwin smith #zeke yeager #zeke jaeger #jean kirstein #jean kirschstein #connie springer #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk headcanons #aot #snk #kojin writes

[blossom-hwa]

Skipping Stones - KEVIN

This was the second full scenario I ever finished for The Boyz and I think it was pretty nice to start with some soft Kevin :D THANK YOU KAI FOR LETTING ME YELL TO YOU ABOUT THIS ONE I HOPE IT LIVES UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS. 

Anyway! Happy (slightly early but only by a couple hours??) birthday to one of the best boys in the world, the one and only wonderful beautiful lovely Kevin Moon! I hope you all enjoy this <3 please reblog if you did!

Pairing: Kevin x gender neutral!reader

Genre: fluff, teacher!au

Triggers: cursing, alcohol

Word Count: 7.8k

Falling in love with you, Kevin thinks, is a bit like skipping stones. 

Alternatively:

Five times Kevin felt himself falling deeper in love with you, and the one time he knew he was gone.

TBZ Masterlist | Touching Stars | Breathe, and Live

prelude.

Kevin knows he exists to be clowned. His sister says it’s something about his face – there’s something undeniably meme-y about his reactions, apparently, that makes him very clownable. His students tell him it’s in his demeanor – he comes off as pretty chill, according to them, which makes him easy to tease because they know he’ll react in some hilarious way, but it won’t affect him too deeply.

(Changmin just says he’s stupid, which makes him clownable to the highest degree, but Kevin refuses to take information from the teacher who still scares him every other week with whichever horror movie mask has recently caught his fancy.)

So Kevin knows he’s just a clownable human being, and he’s resigned himself to that fate for the rest of his life. But around you? His calm, collected, hilarious, wonderful partner? He expected a little less clownery and a little more loving.

“Oh, come on,” you laugh, trying to get Kevin to turn around. Honestly, he’s already feeling the effects of withdrawal from not seeing your smile for more than a few minutes, but he refuses to budge, lips curved downwards in a semi-permanent pout. He knows he won’t be able to keep this up for long (he’ll miss looking at your face too much, and really, he can’t be mad at you about anything), but he can make a scene. “Kevin!”

“You’re so mean,” he whines, still resisting your efforts to make him look at you. “I just poured out a very embarrassing part of my childhood to you and instead of comforting me, you laugh?” His pout deepens. “I don’t know why we’re dating.”

Your hands leave the back of his shoulders. For a second, Kevin thinks you’ve given up and he’s about to start whining about that too, but then you appear in front of him, fingers clasped placatingly. “All right, all right, Kevin.” Still grinning, you grab his hands. “I won’t tease anymore. But seriously, how could you expect me not to laugh my ass off when you told me you learned to skip stones for the –” you make jazz hands, presumably to emphasize your point – “aesthetic?”

Kevin sticks his lip out childishly. “I didn’t think it was that funny,” he mumbles.

“It’s not, not really.” You squeeze his hands. “But it’s a move that’s got Kevin Moon stamped all over it.” As if to accentuate your point, you snort. “Of course you’d learn to skip stones for the aesthetic.”

“Y/N,” he whines.

“Fine, fine, I’ll stop.” Your teasing grin melts into an eager smile. “Hey, teach me?”

“Right now?”

“Why not?”

It feels like Kevin’s physically crumbling to pieces with the way your hopeful voice and sparkling eyes just attack him from all angles. Grudgingly, the deep pout on his lips stretches into a smile, the starstruck smile that all of his friends like to tease him for. “Fine, let’s go.”

He spends the rest of the afternoon stepping around small children and younger couples, trying to find suitable rocks for skipping and teaching you the right angles, the right stance, the right way to hold the stone in your hand before sending it into the water. You learn fast, something he envies – where it took him at least a couple of weeks to perfect the art, you (mostly) pick it up in a matter of hours – but he can’t feel too jealous or too bad when you look up at him after your stone skips once on the water. “Kevin, I did it!” You shake him slightly. “Did you see that?”

The softest smile spreads across Kevin’s face as he kisses your forehead softly “Yeah, I did.”

When he pulls away, you give him the brightest grin before scrambling away to find more stones to skip. Kevin just watches, taking in the way your figure looks against the setting sun, bright gold and pale pink light streaming over your body, almost making you glow.

This is why he fell in love with you, he thinks. Your character, your tenacity, the way you throw yourself into every task you’ve been assigned so that you can complete it as best as you can. It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to treat a new cancer case at the hospital or trying to skip a stupid rock across the water. You always give it your all.

Idly, Kevin picks up a stone of his own. With a practiced flick of his wrist, it goes sailing onto the lake, skipping three, four, five times before sinking beneath the surface.

Falling in love with you is a bit like skipping stones, he thinks, watching the stone disappear from sight. Someone had to force him into that first blind date with you, much like making the first toss of the stone into the water, but every skip after that was quick, effortless, the way he felt himself falling for you, step by stumbling step, until his heart finally gave in and sank below the waves of your warmth.

It’s hard to imagine a time when he wasn’t in love with you, even though such a time did at one point exist. But the way you make him feel with the smallest things you do – the way you scrunch your eyebrows in confusion, the way you rest your chin on your hand in thought – it feels like he’s known you for an eternity and loved you even longer, loved you before time existed.

Your stone skips twice across the water and you shout with joy, racing up to Kevin to celebrate. He catches you when you leap at him, arms wrapping around your waist automatically, smiling into your shining face. Yes, he thinks, he’s in love.

He’s so in love with you.

. . . . .

i.

Kevin, by all definitions of the word, is panicking.

He’s been dreading this blind date for almost a month now, circling the day on his calendar and marking it D-Day, begging Jacob and Changmin to come along and hide in case he needs to be bailed out, relentlessly praying that he’ll be able to leave the stupid date in one piece.

(Look, as much as he appreciates Mrs. Park’s kindness and her brownies, she can be… a little overbearing. To say the least.)

Just a few hours ago, he was putting on his yellow sweater and bemoaning the existence of his pushy coworker. Just a few hours ago, he was lamenting his fate to his two friends (friends is a term he will use loosely for today – all they did was laugh at him). Just a few hours ago, he was cursing the existence of Mrs. Park and her brownies for getting him locked into this date with her sister’s kid. Wait, was it her sister? Or her brother?

(“Yes, her sister,” Changmin says, rolling his eyes. “Pay more attention, won’t you, Kev?”

Kevin groans. “Why couldn’t either of you be chosen by Mrs. Park, huh? Why me?”

“Because I have a partner and Jacob is good at disappearing.” Changmin grins that evil, evil grin he always has on just before he’s about to execute a prank on someone (usually Kevin).

“More like the two of you are good at leaving me to fend for myself against Mrs. Park, even though you know I can’t say no to shit,” Kevin grumbles.

“Give up her brownies,” Jacob suggests.

Kevin gasps. “No way in hell.”)

But now, he’s actually sitting across from you in a café not too far from his apartment, holding a cup of coffee between his (visibly shaking) hands. And he can’t even think of why he was dreading this date so much because you’re just… really, really perfect.

Why are you so sweet? he’s screaming inside. Why are you so funny? Why are you literally the perfect mix of snark and kindness and just – everything?

“So my aunt told me you work with her,” you say, seemingly oblivious to Kevin’s jitters. The smile on your face is really sending electricity racing through his heart. “I know the children must be fun, but I know she can be a bit… overbearing.” There’s a hint of apology in your eyes, like you know your aunt must have pressured him into this and you’re sorry that he had to come on a date with you.

Kevin’s stomach flip-flops. Okay, so Mrs. Park maybe did severely pressure and sweetly blackmail Kevin into a blind date. But Kevin also doesn’t want you to feel bad for it because it’s not your fault at all, so as usual, when he finds himself in a tight spot, his mouth decides it’s time to run.

“No, your aunt is really nice,” he starts. “I really mean it – she’s always very kind to the kids and to the rest of us teachers. I’m still kind of new compared to the rest of them – I’ve only been at the school for a few years now – but she helped me feel welcome that first year when I was still figuring things out. And she also likes Beyonce! You know, the greatest female artist there is? She let me play my entire playlist of Beyonce songs for her last year and she liked every single one of them!”

Kevin’s babbling now. Rambling. Whatever he wants to call it. His brain is screaming for him to stop talking but his mouth won’t stop running because this is what he does when he’s nervous. He talks. Endlessly.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the table where Changmin and Jacob are situated in case they need to rescue him from mental or physical harm. The top of Changmin’s head is barely visible behind a huge menu so Kevin can barely see his friend, but somewhere in his babbling haze, he notices a phone camera poking out from behind the menu.

If he wasn’t blushing before, he definitely is now.

Finally, his mouth listens to his brain and he trails off on his last thought on why Beyonce is the best artist in the entire world. There’s a second of silence.

“Sorry,” Kevin finally squeaks. “I… tend to ramble when I get nervous. Or when I talk about Beyonce.”

Your smile flashes even wider. Kevin is torn between wanting to melt into the ground out of embarrassment and staying upright to keep seeing that grin on your face. 

“Don’t be sorry,” you laugh, fiddling with your cup of coffee. “I thought it was cute.”

Kevin’s face burns so much that he misses what you say next. “Sorry?”

You grin. “I’m always interested in hearing about a new artist to add to my playlist.”

Kevin lets out a theatrical gasp. “You don’t have Beyonce in your music library?”

A sheepish look spreads across your face. “… No?”

“Oh my God.” Kevin pulls out his phone. “Okay, I’m about to educate you on the artist of our time.”

The afternoon, then, passes in a flash. Changmin and Jacob eventually just up and exit the café (presumably with enough blackmail to last the rest of Kevin’s life – he knows he was acting like a complete fool, but luckily, you didn’t seem to care), leaving him alone with you. Under any other circumstances, he probably would’ve started crying, but you’re so sweet and so interesting that Kevin thinks he could stay and talk to you in this café forever.

He learns you’re an oncologist at a nearby children’s hospital, that even though the work is hard and tiring and sometimes overwhelmingly depressing, the strength of the children and the families you work with inspire you to keep going every day. He learns that you don’t have too much of a sweet tooth (though you won’t say no to ice cream or cheesecake, both of which he notes in his head), he learns that you love coffee, and he learns that you like to take walks in the park whenever you have a little bit of free time.

He also learns that you’re snarky, intelligent, driven, hardworking. He learns that you’re something far beyond the beauty of your face – that underneath your skin, there’s a heart that’s warmer than the sun.

Kevin understands that this is only the first date and that he maybe shouldn’t be making judgments so quickly. But he’s been told that he’s a relatively good judge of character, and the genuine look in your eyes when you talks speaks volumes about the person deep inside.

Even though you live further away, Kevin takes the bus with you to your home, citing that it’s only polite to walk one’s date to the door (in reality, he just wants to spend a little more time with you). As the bus rattles along the road, Kevin lets you listen to the songs on his phone, delighting in the way your head bobs to the beat of his favorite tracks.

Kevin’s a bit sad when you reach your apartment, sad that your time together is over for the day. He lingers outside the building for a moment, trying to work up the courage to ask about a second date.

Suddenly, you lean forward. Kevin jerks back – he briefly wonders if you’re trying to kiss him – but you just pat a spot on his sweater, frowning slightly at your fingers. “Is that… paint?”

Oh my God.

Kevin tugs the material of his sweater forward so he can see the spot you’re pointing at. Sure enough, there’s a small patch of red paint on the yellow fuzz. He groans. “I didn’t even notice.”

“Well, that’s what people like us get for working with children.” You roll your eyes comically, and Kevin bursts into laughter that’s definitely too loud for the small joke you made. Then silence falls again.

You break it. “Listen, Kevin.”

He perks up. “Hmm?”

“I’ll admit, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to this date because my aunt has been trying to set me up with people my age for several years now.” For the first time today, you look shy. “She was probably really pushy with you too, so I’m sorry about that. But I really enjoyed this afternoon.” You meet Kevin’s eyes. “If you’d like, I’d love to go on a second date.”

Kevin’s heart explodes. It really does. Sheer excitement courses through his veins, and he has to stop himself from smiling widely enough to mimic a god damn clown. “I’d love that,” he says trying to hide how eager he really is. “Um, I’ll say that I wasn’t exactly looking forward to this either, mostly because my experience with blind dates has had… limited success. But I’m really glad I met you. You’re a wonderful person.”

Your smile grows wider at Kevin’s admission. “Thank you, Kevin. You’re wonderful too.”

“Do you kiss on the first date?” he blurts out because his brain has no filter. Then he backtracks. “Um, it’s totally okay if you don’t, I was just asking, please don’t think I’m a creep –”

You briefly press your lips to his. Kevin shuts up.

When you break away, Kevin honestly thinks you’re glowing. “Does that answer your question?” you ask, bravely trying to hide something – is that embarrassment? Whatever it is, he thinks it’s adorable.

Kevin blushes. “Yes.”

People probably think he’s insane with the way he’s smiling on the bus ride back to his apartment. He can’t help it, though – the tingling touch of your lips, gentle against his, plays over and over in his mind, along with memories of your lovely voice and your lovely smile and your lovely, lovely disposition. Some people are giving him weird looks, and Jacob and Changmin are sure to tease him to no end when he comes in to work tomorrow.

But who cares? Kevin’s got a second date in the works with one of the most wonderful people he’s ever met.

In his mind, he’s on top of the world.

. . . . .

ii.

Usually, when Kevin gets lucky and scores a second date or a third, he suggests taking his date somewhere with children to gauge how they feel about small toddlers tearing up the place. Children are a huge part of Kevin’s life – he teaches elementary school and knows he wants kids when he gets a bit older – so one of the silent standards he’s set for potential significant others is that they have to like and be good with children.

You work at a children’s hospital, Kevin knows, so you must at least be good with kids, even if you might not like them (hey, it’s possible – Kevin has known many people who are good at things they hate). That fulfills half of the standard. He just needs to gauge the other half.

There aren’t many events at the school coming up, though – no plays, no art exhibitions, nothing he can really invite you to. He’s racking his brains for a third date somehow involving children when you unexpectedly call him about an event at the hospital.

“I know it’s last minute,” you apologize profusely, “but the guy who was supposed to come today for the kids’ music hour called in sick. I don’t want to cancel the event because they always look forward to it and I know you play the piano – would it be possible for you to fill in?”

It is possible, it turns out. He may not be able to pack his Yamaha upright into the back of your car, but he does have an electronic keyboard that fits into your trunk. The whole way there, you’re apologizing, but between reassurances that it’s totally fine, Kevin can’t help but anticipate how you’ll act around the children once the two of you arrive.

Setting up takes more time than he’d like (the extension cord that comes with his keyboard is too short, so you disappear on a twenty-minute manhunt for a longer one while Kevin just stands there awkwardly), which makes him feel slightly like a burden on the rest of your coworkers. They’re so polite, though, so genuine and kind, that Kevin eventually starts to feel more at ease.

(He’s still endlessly grateful when you return, extension cord clasped victoriously in one hand.)

Then the kids start trickling in, and Kevin’s heart immediately both breaks and melts. Some are in wheelchairs, others have lost their hair, but they’re all smiling with so much excitement, chattering to their parents and the staff around them as they settle on beanbags and pillows on the floor. Several look at him curiously and he smiles at them, prompting several questions about who he is, why there’s a keyboard and not a guitar, and why the normal guy isn’t here.

“The usual guy got sick and couldn’t come,” Kevin says to one sweet girl with chubby cheeks and shining eyes. “I’m just here to replace him for a day.”

“Do you play the piano?” she asks, shyly pointing at the keyboard, which more than a few curious souls are standing around.

Kevin smiles. “Yes, I do.” He would say more, maybe offer to show her the instrument a little, but then you’re walking over, and her eyes brighten. “Dr. L/N!” she cheers.

With a loud laugh, you swoop her up carefully, cradling the girl against your shoulder. “How are you, Daeun?” you ask, lips spread in a smile that Kevin knows can’t be faked.

The girl – Daeun – grins. “I’ve been good!” she announces proudly. “Are we going to start soon?”

You laugh again, settling her back down on the floor. Kevin thinks his heart melts with the way your eyes sparkle. “Yes, we are,” you say. “I see you’ve already met Kevin?”

“Your name is Kevin?” Daeun looks at him curiously. “Your name is strange.”

Kevin has to force himself not to coo. “I was born in Canada,” he says. “My Korean name is Hyungseo.”

Daeun’s nose scrunches. “I like Kevin more,” she decides with finality.

Kevin feels brave enough to pat her on the head. “Then you can call me Kevin.”

“All right, Daeun. Go find your mom, okay? Kevin and I are going to finish setting up, and then we’ll get started.” With a soft kiss on the forehead (Kevin makes a sound he really hopes you don’t hear – the scene is just too adorable), you send the small girl off, turning back to Kevin. “Shall we get started?” you ask, grinning widely.

It may only be the third date, but he’s falling in love, Kevin thinks, falling in love with your shining face and sparkling eyes, with the way you shower love upon the children you’ve placed under your care. Right now, you’re everything he’s ever wanted in a future partner – beautiful in character, kind, gentle, fiercely loving.

His heart pounds a little faster.

Belatedly, Kevin realizes you’re waiting for a response and nods quickly. “Yeah,” he breathes, eyes glancing over the sea of children waiting (somewhat) patiently. A smile to rival yours spreads across his face. “Let’s get started.”

. . . . .

iii.

Kevin loves the last Friday of every month, he really does. It’s been tradition for several years now to go out with Changmin and Jacob on what he calls nights for “the boyz” to eat cheap food and get drunk. And no matter how much the others complain about the stupid name (Kevin will admit it sounds stupid now, but that doesn’t mean he’ll change it), he knows they enjoy the nights all the same.

Sometimes, though, Kevin just wishes he had more of a filter on his mouth. If not that, then maybe his brain could stop remembering every single dumb thing he said or did on drunk nights out. It would make his life a lot easier if he could just forget being stupid.

But no, God decided to be mean when making Kevin Moon. So Kevin, as a result, is an emotional drunk. He cries a lot when he hears about sad or adorable things, he says a lot of stupid stuff to (badly) express his overwhelming feelings, and worst of all, he remembers all of it when he wakes up hungover the next morning.

(None of this stops him from getting drunk anyway. Kevin Moon doesn’t learn lessons when it comes to alcohol. When he falls on his face (sometimes literally), he just gets up again, even if it’s with a bloody nose.)

Luckily, the night doesn’t end in chaos. Even though Jacob, who’s half of Kevin’s impulse control, leaves after an hour (he’s meeting with his family the next day, so Kevin is obligated call him a noob – it’s like a law of physics or something), Changmin doesn’t seem to be in the mood to do weird things without Jacob there to stop him, so the night passes relatively smoothly without Kevin throwing, like, a tantrum or anything.

He gets close, though. Because damn, if Changmin isn’t so fucking adorable when talking about his partner. Buried in his purple hoodie, black hair peeking softly over the top, it’s impossible for Kevin not to tear up when Changmin begins gushing over his beautiful, amazing, wonderful significant other whom he just compared to stardust.

Stardust.

Kevin wants to scream, that’s so romantic.

When you come to pick him and Changmin up, Kevin can’t resist relaying all of this to you as soon as he gets in the car. Vaguely, he thinks he should be worried about Changmin hearing it and hitting him, but the boy is mostly asleep in the back, eyes only fluttering slightly when you go over a bump or something. After Changmin gets dropped off at his apartment, Kevin turns the gushing on full force.

“Y/N, the love of my life, he called her stardust,” he’s still babbling even as you strongarm him up to his own apartment. “He’s so adorable. Changmin is so adorable. Oh my God.”

He thinks you snort. Probably. It would be a normal response. “Didn’t you call him the spawn of Satan just a few days ago?”

Definitely a snort, Kevin thinks, but he’s too invested in Changmin’s loveliness to whine about you making fun of him. “Y/N,” he pouts instead, “listen to meeeeee.”

“I’m listening, I’m listening.” You grunt, catching him just as he misses the next step and almost falls forward. “Hey, be careful.”

“’M trying.” Kevin manfully does his best to stop the world from tilting on its side. “But Changminnie.”

“Yes, yes, Changminnie.” Even drunk, Kevin can make out the playful exasperation in your voice. “Keep going.”

“Thank you, love of my life.” Kevin tries to give you a kiss but his lips hit air instead of your cheek. “Heck.”

You burst into loud laughter. “Kevin Moon, you never told me you were this adorable when drunk.”

“Changminnie,” he says more insistently.

“Okay, yes, I’m listening.” You kiss his cheek instead, and Kevin almost topples over right then and there. “Hey, you can’t fall over whenever I kiss you. Tell me about Changmin.”

Kevin starts flailing his arms around as best he can. “He’s so cute!” he half-yells. “He told me his partner was like stardust because she’s so perfect and warm, but she’s also like stardust because… because…”

His lip juts out.

“Oh, no, don’t cry, Kev.” You stop moving, then Kevin registers you bundling him into a hug, patting his head. “I know you’re a sad emotional drunk, but don’t cry.”

“Not crying,” Kevin protests, visibly crying.

“Mhm.” You pat his head one last time before letting go. “Hey, give me a second, I’m going to unlock your door.”

There’s some fumbling and a quiet snick, then Kevin obediently follows you through the door of his apartment. Once inside, you press a thumb to the side of his face, brushing a tear away. “Tell me what Changmin said to make you sad.”

“Changminnie said he’s afraid she’ll… she’ll… slip away between his fingers. Like stardust.” Kevin feels like he’s going to start sobbing any moment now. “He’s afraid she’s going to leave him eventually because she’s too perfect and he’s not good enough.”

“Oh my God.” You sit down on the couch. Kevin follows suit, albeit a lot more ungracefully as he collapses onto a cushion in a tangle of limbs. “Oh my God, that’s so sad and cute at the same time.”

“I said he should call her his star,” Kevin mumbles, turning slightly so he can burrow into your side. “Because stardust. Texted them about it. Both of them.”

Your laugh sounds like music even to the drunken haze of his brain. “Wonder what they’ll think when they see a drunken keysmash on their phones first thing tomorrow morning.”

The two of you sit in silence for a bit. Kevin feels his eyes beginning to get droopy, and he almost falls asleep before a thought strikes him with lightning force.

“I need to give you a nickname!” he almost yells, sitting bolt upright. The movement makes the room spin, but he doesn’t care. This is urgent. “Changmin’s going to call her his star, but I haven’t given you a nickname yet!”

“Kev, Kev.” You hold him by the shoulders, and he relaxes a little. “You can come up with a nickname for me in the morning. Right now, I think you need to sleep.”

“No,” he whines, shifting in your grip. “This is important. You need a nickname.” He sinks into deep, drunken thoughts, the kinds of thoughts he has when he ignores everything around him in favor of getting philosophical after having drunk too much alcohol.

Then it hits him.

“Oh my God,” he gasps. “Oh my God.” It’s his turn to grab you by the shoulders, now. “Oh my God. You’re the sun. Because I’m the moon. Get it? Kevin Moon?”

Through his drunken haze, Kevin thinks he sees you smile, maybe. It looks like a smile.

Your eyes are sparkling. You look happy.

Probably a smile.

“I’m a genius,” he whispers. A genius for coming up with the nickname and for making you happy.

“Sure, Kevin.” You grunt a little as he shifts his weight. “Come on, get up. We’ll see if you’re still a genius tomorrow if you wake up and remember all of this.”

Kevin doesn’t register much for the rest of the night, just remembers falling into his bed and forcing you to lie down next to him. The next morning, he wakes up with a throbbing headache and the vague, ever-present worry that he said something stupid last night.

You’re not in the bed with him anymore. Kevin blinks once, twice, before trying to sit up so to figure out where you went. Then he remembers you don’t live here. You probably went home.

Which is why he nearly goes into cardiac arrest when you appear in his doorway, holding a mug of coffee and a glass of water.

For a moment, the two of you just stare at each other. Kevin’s not sure what thoughts are running through your head, but he knows he’s trying to piece together what happened last night, and whether or not he should be hiding under the covers out of embarrassment.

Then it hits him.

Sun.

Moon.

Genius.

Oh, God.

Kevin wants to die.

“Morning, sunshine,” he says, using your new nickname in the desperate hope that it’ll distract you from remembering the rest of what he said last night.

A catlike smirk curls your lips as you walk over, pressing the glass of water into his hands. A feeling of dread fills Kevin’s heart as he takes it.

“Morning, genius,” you say with enough evil delight to power Changmin for a year.

Kevin groans. “I was drunk.”

“Yeah, I noticed.” Your teasing smile melts into something gentler as you place your mug on the bedside table, turning to bring the glass of water in his hands to his lips. “Coffee’s mine, don’t touch it or I’ll break a bone. Drink the water. I made some breakfast, so come into the kitchen whenever you feel up to it. After you’ve brushed your teeth.”

Warmth courses through Kevin’s body, and it has nothing to do with the alcohol from last night and everything to do with how you’re here in body and mind, sweetly helping him recover from a stupid hangover even when it’s definitely not your problem to take care of and you probably have better things to do. His heart thumps, loud enough that he thinks you could probably hear it.

In this moment, Kevin doesn’t think he’s ever been more grateful for anything than you coming into his life.

“Got it.” He awkwardly tries to salute, but he does it with the hand holding the glass and the water nearly spills onto the bed. As his cheeks flush, you break into snorting giggles.

Even though it’s at his expense, Kevin thinks he would do anything, anything in the world, to keep that wonderful smile on your face and that musical laughter in the air.

. . . . .

iv.

Only when you move in together does Kevin realize just how taxing your job is. He had an idea from when you sometimes had to cancel or move around dates, but when you did meet up, you were usually energetic and cheerful. Of course, there were the token dates where you just came over to Kevin’s apartment or he came over to yours and you just flopped around for a few hours. Outside, though, you always showed a bright face.

But that was because dates were mostly on your days off or when your hours were short, and as a result, you felt good enough, energized enough to show Kevin your brilliant smile. When you first moved in together, Kevin felt a bit surprised – well, maybe not surprised, but saddened – that you didn’t have the energy to smile as brightly as he saw before.

It’s fine by Kevin, though. You smile often enough, and if your teeth don’t show as much as they used to, there’s something beautiful, something calming and sweet in the slower curve of your lips, the gentle, lethargic way you lean up for a kiss. After all, Kevin has enough energy to compensate for when you might lack some of yours.

(It helps that he can cook, he thinks. Even when the kids at school sometimes wear him out, the brief sparkle in your eye that spreads across your lips when you walk through the door to see him stirring something on the stove is more than enough to make up for it.)

You’re cute, too, when you’re tired. Though Kevin loves it when you’re energetic and ready for whatever the day has decided to throw in your path, there’s something so peaceful, so pleasant about feeling you lying lethargically against his side on the couch, scrolling through your phone or reading a book or just resting, doing nothing but breathing softly. Kevin cherishes those small moments, the soft atmosphere where he kisses your hair and you smile, reach up, and press a kiss of your own to his cheek.

Tonight is one of those nights, a night of soft, comforting silence, words few and far between. It’s been a bit warm lately, so Kevin’s elected to wear one of the tank tops he keeps for the warmer months instead of his usual sweater.

You sit next to him on the couch, back pressed to his side as you send off emails on your phone. Kevin’s working too, inputting grades on his laptop. He hums a little under his breath to take his mind off of the monotony of his task.

At some point, you finish, putting down your phone with a sigh and slumping into his ribs. Kevin starts at the sudden movement. “Sunshine,” he whines, even though he could really care less.

“Moon boy,” you parrot in the same tone of voice.

Kevin’s attention turns back to his laptop, so he barely registers you shifting on the couch to a new position. He does notice it, though, when your fingers start trailing along his skin, exposed by the lack of sleeves on his tank top, because your touch tickles.

You completely ignore his resulting twitch of surprise, only keep tracing the skin of his rib cage. Kevin looks down, confused as to what’s caught your attention.

Oh. His tattoos.

“Sunshine?” he asks softly, watching your fingers shift along his skin.

“Mm,” you hum, eyes still fixated on the ink decorating his side.

“Sleepy?”

Slowly, you shake your head, fingers paused on the image of Mickey Mouse. “Not yet.”

He goes back to inputting grades, all the while still aware of your fingers tracing the lines, the curls, the swirls of black ink along his side. When he finishes, he looks over before closing his laptop to see your eyes still focused on his skin.

Something in his heart explodes, spreading a tingly, comforting warmth throughout his body. It’s a feeling he’s come to associate with your presence, a feeling of absolute security, absolute trust, absolute warmth that comes with falling in love with you.

You look up, noticing his lack of movement. “Finished, moonbeams?”

“First moon boy, now moonbeams?” Kevin teases you lightly, picking up the hand you were using to trace his skin and pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. Just like every other time he’s ever done it, a wide smile spreads across your face and a shyness sparkles in your eyes, as though you still can’t believe the bliss of the moment.

(At least, that’s what Kevin feels every time you do something to remind him that he’s yours.)

Your voice breaks into his thoughts. “Can’t call you moonshine, that’s an alcohol.” You shrug as best as you can in your stretched-out position. “Moonbeams, moon boy… whatever feels right.”

Kevin puts his laptop on the coffee table. As he leans back into the couch, you curl up into him, one hand still lingering against the Mickey Mouse tattoo on his side. “Tell me about these?” you ask, pressing your fingers a bit more firmly against the ink.

His tattoos are personal, serving as reminders of the past and inspiration to keep moving. Rarely does he share their meanings with anyone (not that people usually ask, because the tattoos are mostly covered by his clothes), and only with those who mean the world to him.

Kevin thinks you qualify as one of them.

Touching your shoulders, he turns you around slightly, just enough to press a short, sweet kiss to the top of your head. “Of course, sunshine.” He smiles, gazing into your eyes, feeling the warmth of your love travel through his limbs. “Which one first?”

. . . . .

v.

Kevin Moon, for the majority of his life, has hovered in between being classified as a morning person or a night owl. Yes, he gets up at six in the morning for a cup of coffee, but he also stays up past midnight doing… stuff. Grading, writing reports, watching cat videos, wasting time.

(When Changmin judges his lifestyle, Kevin just reminds him that he fell in love with his roommate’s hookup and is on a dance team with the parent of one of his students.)

Honestly, if Kevin didn’t remind himself every so often that he’s currently a full adult, his lifestyle would make him think he was still in college. He certainly still acts like it when he isn’t working. Procrastinating? Check. Crying over reports he needs to submit at three a.m.? Check. Flopping around on the floor when life is going badly? Check.

And most importantly: nonexistent sleep schedule? Check.

You put a stop to that real quick when you move in, both directly and indirectly. Directly, you make an appointment for him at a sleep clinic after figuring out his shitty sleep patterns, and Kevin finds out he probably has mild insomnia. The aftermath is horrible – you put him on a strict sleep schedule and all but ban caffeine from his diet (goodbye, morning coffee) – but it helps, after a couple of weeks. He sleeps better. Perks of having a partner who works in medicine.

Indirectly, though, you probably make a bigger difference.

See, the way Kevin thinks about it, he just never had a lot of reasons to stay in bed very long. Even though he appreciates sleep, really appreciates it on long days, it’s just that he can’t really force it if it doesn’t want to come. He’d also rather be doing something productive (or not productive, depends on the asker’s perspective) than lying awake for hours, anyway.

But now that he’s waking up to a face he loves?

Well, even if you sometimes disappear before he wakes (hospital hours are whack as hell, but sadly, you can’t ignore your job), Kevin will just say your warmth is a powerful incentive to stay huddled under the covers, even if he can’t fall back asleep.

He still wakes up every morning to grey light beginning to peek through the window. No matter how hard he tries to sleep in just a little longer, his body can’t seem to stay unconscious past six in the morning, so both of you have just resigned yourselves to the fact that Kevin will always be an early riser.

Before you walked into his life, he would’ve rolled out of bed almost immediately, stumbled to the bathroom (and maybe knocked his knee against the doorframe, who knows), then started brewing coffee in the kitchen to start the day.

Now?

A drowsy smile begins to make its way across Kevin’s face, soft as the morning light, when his brain catches up to the present and he registers your warmth under the covers. Sleepily, he blinks, taking in the sight of your peaceful face buried halfway in the sheets.

You shouldn’t look this beautiful, Kevin thinks, not with your hair strewn all over the pillow, blankets rumpled around your shoulders, arms outstretched so that one sort of curls over his body while the other is held up to your chest. It’s the morning – no one should look pretty and put-together. That isn’t natural.

(Unless you happy to be Kim Younghoon, but that’s another story.)

Yet you somehow look like a sleeping deity in Kevin’s mind, even with your hair a mess and drool drying on the pillowcase. As the drowsiness clears from his eyes, as the light from the window grows brighter, Kevin can barely even think of moving, of disturbing your peace.

He dislikes your alarm. It’s loud, annoying, and hits him with a jolt when he’s just trying to take these stolen morning moments to admire your beauty. When he complains about it the first time, you tell him to serve as the alarm, to wake you up himself.

Kevin counters that he’s an artist, that he needs peace and quiet to give beauty of such a degree the respect it deserves. You just roll your eyes, telling him that if he isn’t going to wake you up, the alarm’s going to have to take that job. The smile on your face, though, and the brief kiss you press to his lips right after, speaks volumes for the emotions Kevin’s words make you feel.

(He loves flustering you like this, even if you pretend his words don’t make you feel some sort of way.)

So eventually, you wake, eyes fluttering as the alarm brings you back to the conscious plane. Kevin’s heart feels like it’s bursting when your eyes fully open, blearily blinking at the world.

“Morning, sunshine,” he whispers, running one hand through your hair.

You lean slightly into the touch, the corners of your lips twitching up. And every day, as he stares into your sleepy eyes, lips curling as you whisper a quiet “Morning, moon boy” in reply, Kevin knows he’s falling, falling in love with every part of you.

. . . . .

+i.

Kevin’s waiting in front of the school when you pull up at the curb. Smiling apologetically, he gives you a quick kiss on the cheek as you step out of the car. “Sorry, sunshine.” He gestures at the two small boys standing beside him, absorbed in their own world. “Their uncle’s running late and Changmin and Jacob have things to do, so I need to wait for Sangyeon to pick them up before we can go.”

“No worries.” You return the kiss, smiling as bright as the sun. Kevin feels a flash of pride for coming up with a nickname that fits you so well. “We have the whole afternoon, don’t we?”

“That, we do.” He grins, squeezing your hand.

“Mr. Moon, who’s that?” a small voice asks closer to the ground. The two of you turn to see Sunwoo and Eric trotting over, curious looks on their faces.

Kevin looks over at you, but you’re already bending down to get to eye level with the two boys. “Oh, hello!” Your grin, if possible, grows wider. “I’m Y/N, Kevin’s significant other. What are your names?”

“I’m Eric,” Eric pipes up. “This is my brother, Sunwoo.”

Sunwoo just stares with round eyes. Well, he’s always been the shyer of the two.

“Those are lovely names,” you reply smoothly, giving Sunwoo an encouraging smile. Kevin feels his heart melt completely at how well you interact with the kids. “I’m just going to be waiting with Kevin until your uncle picks you up, is that okay?”

The two kids nod and immediately go back to babbling in their own little world. Kevin notices the fond smile on your face, and his heart melts even more.

“They’re so cute,” you whisper to him.

“I know, right?” Kevin clutches his heart dramatically. “Can you imagine teaching them every day?”

Just as you’re shaking your head in comic disbelief, another car pulls up behind yours. A harried-looking young man quickly exits and Eric and Sunwoo cheer, distracted by the arrival of their uncle.

“Sorry about this,” Sangyeon says, absentmindedly patting Eric’s head as the boy hugs his leg. Sunwoo seems to be attempting to climb onto his uncle’s back. “Traffic wasn’t the kindest when I was getting out of work.” Then he notices you. “Oh, hello. Are you Kevin’s partner?”

“That I am.” You stick out a hand. “I’m Y/N, and I’ve been told you’re Sangyeon?”

Sangyeon nods, smiling. “Nice to meet you. And to see that Kevin’s found someone to deal with his antics.”

Kevin blushes as you laugh. “Hey,” he complains. “No jokes at my expense, please.”

“Sure, moonbeams.” You roll your eyes, then turn back to Sangyeon. “It’s nice to meet you. Your nephews are adorable.”

The smile that Sangyeon gives the two boys clambering around him says it all. “They are, aren’t they?” He checks his watch. “I’m sorry, I have to go now. My sister’s expecting us back soon, and I’m already a bit late.”

Kevin breathes a sigh of relief. No more teasing at his expense from Sangyeon, at least, though there’s no guarantee from you. “Nice seeing you, Sangyeon. And have a good day, kids.”

A small chorus of “You too, Mr. Moon!” sounds, and Kevin expects that to be the end. Sangyeon will herd the boys into the car, Kevin will follow you into yours, and then you’ll go your separate ways. What he doesn’t expect is for Sunwoo to look out at you from behind his uncle’s leg, round eyes cautiously curious, and ask you a question.

“Y/N?”

Immediately, you turn around, teasing smirk melting into a gentle smile for the small boy. “Yes, Sunwoo?”

Sunwoo’s eyes dart between you and Kevin. Then, softly, shyly – “Do you love Mr. Moon?”

Time seems to stop as Kevin’s breath hitches in his throat at the sudden question, but you only look back at him, eyes soft and sparkling in the sunlight. 

Your answer glitters in your gaze.

Though you’re supposed to be talking to Sunwoo, your eyes stay fixed on Kevin, strong and unyielding, yet gentle and affectionate, as you answer. Your voice is soft when you reply. “Yes, Sunwoo. I do love him.” The smile on your face grows wider as you turn back to the child. “I love him very much.”

Indescribable warmth floods Kevin’s chest and tears prick his eyes. And as Sangyeon hurries his nephews away, as you turn around to unlock your car, one truth burns with absolute, crystal-clear certainty in his mind.

He isn’t falling in love with you, not anymore. No, he’s far past that stage.

Kevin Moon is completely, wholly, irrevocably in love with you.

“Kevin?” You look at him from the other side of the car. “You coming?”

A wide grin spreads across his face as he meets your sparkling eyes. Love blooms in his chest.

“Coming, sunshine.”

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for kevin’s whipped ass ksjdkgsdhjk)

#tbznetwork #destinyverse #kpopscape #the boyz #tbz #the boyz scenarios #tbz scenarios #the boyz oneshots #the boyz imagines #the boyz kevin #tbz kevin #kevin moon #the boyz kevin scenarios #tbz kevin scenarios #kevin scenarios #tbz x reader #the boyz x reader #kevin moon x reader #kevin #fluff #tw cursing #tw alcohol #teacher!au #breathe and live #touching stars #skipping stones #scriptura-delirus

[cuddlepilefics]

Count on me (2)

Fandom: Stray Kids

Little: Jeongin

Caregivers: Stray Kids

Part 1 

 No one’s POV.:

It was surprising really how quickly Chan had been able to fall asleep with little Innie in his arms. The leader would have expected himself to stay up at least another hour, dwelling on the thought of Jeongin forgetting about his littlespace. Sure, they had all noticed that their youngest didn’t slip into his headspace anymore but they had just assumed he didn’t need it. Now he felt stupid for not asking his dongsaeng why he had stopped slipping. Being the oldest, he was always attentive when it came to the other members, so when Seungmin came to wake Jisung up, Chan woke up too. Still, he pretended to be asleep and only moved his arm a bit to cover the pacifier between Jeongin’s lips. He knew the others wouldn’t go to their schedules if they knew that the maknae had slipped after what felt like an eternity. Sure, they always babied their youngest but it was still different when he was in his headspace. Chan felt a bit selfish for keeping Jeongin to himself while making all the other members go to work but he knew that they couldn’t all miss their schedules and it wouldn’t cause too much suspicion if only the two of them stayed back, besides, now that Jeongin remembered, he’d surely slip more frequently in the future.

Grumbling, Jisung rolled out of bed and made his way over to the other two. Though he was surprised to find Chan in his room, the rapper figured Jeongin had had another of his nightmares and had sought comfort from their leader. Before he could get close enough to the bed to notice anything off though, Seungmin stopped him, whispering: “They’re not going today, hyung. After Innie felt bad yesterday, Chan-hyung texted me that he’d stay back with him and that we shouldn’t wake Innie at any cost.” That did a good job at waking Jisung up. He knew his roommate wasn’t himself lately and especially after him collapsing during practice the previous day, he had hoped the younger would open up but it only seemed like he was doing worse. “Channie-hyung also told me not to worry too much, he’s going to explain everything when we get back. Everything will be okay, yeah? I trust him to take good care of Innie”, Seungmin smiled when he noticed the older’s concerned look. Though not very happy about that answer, Jisung nodded and quietly went to get ready and Chan had to suppress a sigh of relief. He knew he could trust Seungmin and really had to make sure to thank him later.

Chan stayed cuddled up with Jeongin and listened to the commotion outside their room. He didn’t want to go back to sleep right away, afraid that somebody would check on them one last time and would notice the pacifier. As soon as he heard the front door click though and it became quiet, he relaxed and decided a few more hours of sleep couldn’t hurt him either after almost staying awake with the little the whole night. It was already early afternoon when he woke up to someone poking his cheek. Chan sat up, looking sleepy and confused, which earned him a giggle from the little, sitting on his legs. “Good morning, Innie”, the leader smiled, voice low and raspy after sleeping for so long. The younger happily clapped his hands, giggling: “Daddy!” Now that his caregiver was awake, he finally had someone to play with.

Seeing the little already wide awake, Chan had to shake off his sleepy haze rather quick and checking the time, he felt his heart sink.  It was almost lunchtime and he hadn’t even fed Jeongin breakfast. “Aww, are you hungry, Sweetie?”, the leader cooed, pinching his dongsaeng’s cheek. The maknae looked at him with big puppy eyes and nodded. Picking the little up and placing him on his hip, Chan chuckled: “Very hungry or does daddy have enough time to cook you pancakes?” – “Pancakes”, Jeongin squealed, bouncing a little in the older’s arms, who struggled to keep them balanced. The leader then got Jeongin settled at the table, so he could color something while Chan prepared their late breakfast. It had been a while since he had the time to really cook something for breakfast. Usually they were too busy and settled for something quick like toast or cereal but today was different. He had promised himself that he’d make today special for Jeongin after he had struggled all alone for so long. Sure, when the maknae came out of his headspace, they’d need to have a talk about going to others for help and not trying to fend for himself but for now, he just wanted the boy to be happy and forget about his worries.

“Innie, look!”, Chan exclaimed, flipping the pancake by throwing it in the air and catching it with the pan again. The little happily clapped his hands and waited for the next pancake to be flipped. Chan felt his heart beat faster when he noticed how impressed the boy looked and started to comment on all his actions like he was on a cooking show, which Jeongin found really entertaining. He soon forgot about his coloring book and gave the older his full attention. The little was so distracted from his rumbling tummy, that it didn’t even seem to take long till his daddy joined him at the table, setting down two plates and putting his coloring book and crayons away. Chan then also got some bananas and strawberries as a topping because he knew the younger loved Nutella on his pancakes but should also eat something remotely healthy. He gave Jeongin a few strawberries to much on, so he’d be occupied till the leader had spread two pancakes with Nutella, topping one with strawberries and the other with banana slices. Then he cut it into bite-sized pieces and lifted one to the little’s pink-stained lips, chuckling: “Oh no, the airplane needs to land.” The younger instantly opened his mouth and allowed the caregiver to feed him. Chan switched between feeding little Innie and eating a few bites himself. By the time they finished their meal, his hands were sticky and so was Jeongin’s face, so before he even considered clearing the table, he carried his dongsaeng to the bathroom to wash up.

Chan had thought the little would go back to coloring while he did the dishes but he soon felt a chin on his shoulder and turned around, facing a pouty Jeongin. “What’s up, cutie? Why do you look so sad?”, he cooed, booping the little’s nose with some foam on his finger. Instead of the lighthearted giggle he had expected, he only got a small smile. Wrapping his arms around the older’s middle and burying his face in his chest, the maknae admitted: “Innie tiwed, wan’ nap but I jus’ got up. Nuh, wan be lazy.” – “Aww, it’s okay, sweets. You’re not lazy, just really run down and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. If you want to take a nap, Daddy will tuck you in, yeah?”, Chan smiled. It had come a bit unexpected because Jeongin had been asleep for a pretty long time but the leader understood that the exhaustion that had accumulated over weeks couldn’t be fixed with a few hours of rest. “Cuddles please?”, the little pouted and Chan was quick to agree: “Sure, just let daddy finish up here and I’ll be all yours. Maybe you want to go and get your paci, plushie and blanket ready and I’ll be there in a second.” Jeongin nodded and shuffled to his room, before coming back out to wash off his paci and to collect Drippy, who had been left on the couch. A small smile spread on his lips when he remembered how the plushie had gotten its name. Hyunjin had bought it for him because Jeongin really loved goldfishes and Jisung used to move it around, pretending it was swimming around the little, and singsong: “Drippy, droppy, drippy, droppy.” To Jeongin ‘Droppy’ sounded too gloomy while ‘Drippy’ sounded cheerier, so he started to refer to the plushie as ‘Drippy’.

Popping the paci between his lips and suckling on it, he sat down on his bed and played with Drippy as he waited for his daddy. He barely noticed the door open and only looked up when he felt the bed dip beside him. With a smile, Chan opened his arms and let the younger cuddle into him while he moved them to lay down. Jeongin gave a content sigh and closed his eyes. After the caregiver had started to draw shapes onto his back, it didn’t take long for the little to doze off. Though he was glad that his dongsaeng was resting now, it hurt the leader to see just how drained his youngest member was. Sure, he knew it was bad when Jeongin almost collapsed but seeing him knocked out only two hours after getting up, was impressive and Chan was glad he had made the right decision and kept the boy at the dorm to rest. What impressed him even more was that the little’s huffed breaths lured him to sleep too. He wasn’t used to sleeping much, so he never really got much sleep even if there’d be enough time to but with Jeongin pressed against him, it somehow worked. Not for long though, at least it didn’t feel long to them when the leader’s phone rang on the nightstand, waking both of them. “Yeah?”, Chan mumbled sleepily, “Mhm. See you in a bit. Maybe gather everyone in the living room, yeah? Okay thanks, bye.” He ended the call and groaned, pressing his face into the pillow till the little started pocking his arm, curious what the call had been about.

Chan sat up and gave Jeongin a tired smile, explaining: “That was Seungmin, the others don’t know that you slipped again yet. You’re okay with telling them, right? We all really missed this side of you, so I’m pretty sure you’ll get lots of affection as soon as they’re back.” – “Minnie-hyung? And- and Minmin-hyung and Binnie-hyung and Jinnie-hyung and Jiji-hyung oh- oh and Lixxie-hyung?”, the younger beamed. “Mhm, all of them, so should we get up and maybe fix our hair, so that they won’t laugh at us too much?”, Chan chuckled, smoothing down a strand of the little’s hair. Jeongin nodded and let the older carry him to the bathroom. When they exited, they could already hear their members talking in the living room. Though they didn’t understand much, the mood seemed dull as the atmosphere was thick with worry. The maknae grew shy as six pairs of eyes were on him all of a sudden and he his face against Chan’s neck, who spoke up with a small smile: “Hey, cheer up guys! Everything’s fine, I promise, our little Innie here has just become a bit of an insomniac lately, being stressed and thinking a lot. That’s also why he collapsed yesterday, he was simply exhausted to the bone. He asked me why he never felt like this when we were about to debut. Turns out, he forgot about his littlespace and that’s why he suddenly stopped slipping. I eased him into his headspace and made sure he’d get the chance to catch up on the hours of sleep he lost. He just woke up from his nap and isn’t used to being little anymore, so he’s a bit shy but everything will be fine.”

The members had broken into massive grins as heavy weights lifted off their chests. They knew that something had been wrong for longer than just a few days but if it could be fixed as easily as having Jeongin regress again, it wasn’t nearly as bad as they had feared. Even after Chan had finished his short speech, the little didn’t dare to look up at the small crowd in their living room. Sure, he knew all of them and he had been happy when he heard they were coming but now, he couldn’t help but feel shy. “Hey there little foxy”, a soft voice spoke right next to him and though hesitant, he looked up at Hyunjin with innocent eyes. The dancer pinched his cheek, drawing a quiet giggle from the boy, who instantly made grabby hands at him. In Hyunjin’s arms, they went around to each of the other members who patiently waited for their turn talking to their youngest, so he wouldn’t overwhelmed. As soon as he had interacted with all of them, he started to feel more comfortable and urged Hyunjin to put him down, before waddling off to get Drippy and proudly introducing the plushie to them as though they had never seen it before. Jisung took the plushie and sang the small tune again, ending by booping Jeongin’s nose with the stuffed toy. The maknae laughed happily, seeming so lighthearted and carefree, before tugging on Felix hand to show him what he had colored the previous night and this morning. There were no words needed for the other seven members to agree that they wouldn’t allow their baby to lose his safe place again because his fake smile was severely lacking the spark now visible in his eyes.

Over the course of the early evening, Jeongin tried to catch up on play time with each of his hyungs, which felt impossible. He could never get enough of playing with them, feeling fuzzier than ever from the amount of affection he received. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling though and he just let himself drift, enjoying not having to worry about a thing except for making sure to spend equally as much time with each of his hyungs. Chan could see some small changes in the little’s behavior but it wasn’t until Seungmin played peek-a-boo with him that Jeongin slipped deeper than ever. At first only Chan and Seungmin noticed because the youngest continued doing what he had done before slipping even younger, which was giggling at every thing his caregivers did. His stomach had started to ache from all the laughing a while ago but he couldn’t care less, they were just too funny. Seungmin gave him a chance to catch his breath and hugged him tight, watching how the younger started to chew on his fingers. At that point, all of them had realized what was going on, so Jisung rushed off to their shared room to get his pacifier. When the rapper returned, Jeongin sat in Changbin’s lap, chewing on the chords of the older’s black hoodie and giggling every once in a while, as Changbin pulled funny faces at him.

It seemed like Jeongin had gone completely none-verbal and only replied with other noises but his caregivers knew him well enough to know exactly what he wanted every time. Though they hadn’t spent time together like this for a long time, it still felt the same, maybe even better because they were much closer now than they had been during the survival show. The little seemed to have missed them as much as they had missed him and kept crawling from one member to another to cash in on all of their affection but as it got late, dinner seemingly forgotten, he settled in Felix’ lap and stayed there. At first the others were confused but when the maknae yawned widely, they chuckled. They really should have figured that he was to tired to constantly move between them. “Aww, sleepy baby?”, the Aussie cooed, patting Jeongin’s head. The younger whined and nodded, which should’ve been Chan’s clue to get him ready for bed but after already skipping one meal of the day due to them being asleep, the leader wouldn’t allow his youngest to skip another. Instead of taking him to his room, he picked Jeongin up from Felix’ lap and swayed him in his arms, humming: “You still need to eat some before going to bed, Innie. What do you want for dinner?” He wasn’t expecting an answer but he also wasn’t expecting the boy to get so frustrated with him for keeping him up.

Hyunjin came over and took him out of Chan’s arms to calm him down again, while Felix mashed up a banana and mixed it with some vanilla yoghurt. Hyunjin calmly sat down at the table with Jeongin in his lap, holding him still, so that Felix could feed him with ease. Since it was only a small meal, Chan used the time to also prepare a bottle for the little and when he walked off to put it on Jeongin’s bedside table, he found Jisung rearranging the pillows and plushies in the maknae’s bed to create a comfy nest for the younger. He gave the rapper a smile, asking: “Hey, is it okay if I stay here tonight? I slept so much better last night than I can remember sleeping in a looong time.” – “Sure, hyung but please don’t turn my alarm off again. I almost had a heart attack when Seungmin woke me before my alarm going off at least three times”, Jisung replied. “As if you’d ever wake up from your alarm”, the leader laughed, causing the younger to join: “Hey, I do wake up from my alarm! I just decide to stay in bed till somebody violently drags me out but I am aware of the time. I wasn’t aware of it this morning.” – “Alright, alright, we’ll all have to get up at the same time tomorrow anyway”, the older chuckled, leaving to check if Jeongin was done eating.

He was done eating but it had been at least as mess as it had been this morning. Not only would Chan have to wash his face, he’d also need to get him a fresh shirt but he could worry about that when he had the younger in the bathroom. The leader didn’t want to get yoghurt on himself too, so he carried Jeongin bridal-style and let him sit on the closed toilet lid. First, he stripped the boy of his soiled shirt, then he ran a washcloth under warm water, cleaning his face and wiping down his chest. The little didn’t open his eyes again after having to close them so Chan could wash his face. He was starting to doze off right there and the leader was just about to pick him up, when Changbin joined them with one of his sweaters. The rapper owned some massive sweaters that gave ‘oversized’ a whole new meaning but Jeongin loved them, always had, so despite having his eyes closed, his lips formed a little smile when his caregiver slipped it over him. When Chan finally picked him up and carried him to bed, he squeezed his eyes shut and nuzzled his face against the oldest’s neck. By the time, they were settled in his bed, with the little’s head resting against the Aussie’s chest, he was barely conscious anymore but still let out a while of protest when Chan took away his paci. When it was replaced with is bottle though, he contently suckled on it, almost finishing half of it when the older noticed his lips slowing and eventually stilling. The leader cooed at the cute boy falling asleep while drinking and put the bottle away, putting the pacifier back between his lips and saying good night to Jisung before they followed Jeongin to dreamland.

#stray kids #skz #fluff #comfort #fanfic #fanfiction #little #littlspace #agere #age regression #cute #yang jeongin #jeongchan #hyunin #jeongmin #seungin #jeongbin #jeonglix

[drowningbydegrees]

Well, I’m clearly failing on the whumptober front, but here is a sort of fluffy thing. (And also Geralt pining because Jaskier does not have a monopoly on that.) <3

Read on AO3 

“I want nothing.” 

The thing is, it’s not a lie. Not really. It’s just that it’s an incomplete sentence. I want nothing there is room for in the life of a witcher. I want nothing I have any right to long for. I want nothing I think you would give. I want nothing reasonable. 

These are the ways that sentence ends, and so it’s simpler, Geralt thinks, to stop short of that kind of vulnerability. He can’t imagine that’s what Jaskier is asking anyway. 

“You always say that.” Jaskier smiles at Geralt across the campfire, the expression softened by the light on his face and the shadows crowding in at his back. 

Does he? Geralt supposes he does, but what else is he going to say? “And yet, you keep asking.”

“Of course I do,” Jaskier insists in a way that sounds like he thinks this should be obvious. And who knows, really, if it would be to someone else? Someone else is not Geralt, who is only taken more by surprise when Jaskier adds, “I keep hoping one day you’ll tell me the truth.”

“Who says I’m not already?” It’s not a lie either, even if it’s very much a deflection from the truth. Geralt knows it’s too much to expect Jaskier might drop it, but a man can hope.

As expected, Jaskier doesn’t drop it. He scoots perilously closer, shaking his head at the witcher. “Honestly, Geralt. I’m not stupid.”

Their usual back and forth of teasing and sarcasm is more comfortable than the kind of honesty that Jaskier is currently after. In lieu of a reply, Geralt lifts a brow at Jaskier, mostly for the offended sound the bard makes. Normally, this is the part where whatever serious conversation they’re having derails, and Jaskier rants about whatever particular affront he’s been subjected to. 

“Not about this, I’m not. To yearn for things is an inescapable aspect of humanity and-” Geralt doesn’t know when Jaskier got so close, but as soon as he opens his mouth to say something, the bard’s fingers press warmly against his lips.”No, don’t interrupt. Whatever the world tells you, you are the most human person I know.”

“What is it you think I want?” Geralt asks, because if he’s the one posing a question, it’s time where Jaskier is not. The answer, sadly, doesn’t really but Geralt any time or space to think. All it gets him is that fond look Jaskier gives him sometimes, haunting in its proximity to the sort of affection Geralt wants. “Dunno. That’s why I keep asking.” 

There’s nothing he can say to that that won’t give him away. Geralt could shut down the conversation or flee entirely, but somehow it feels like he’s just delaying some inevitable ruin. Jaskier can’t possibly know what he’s asking for, and Geralt can’t possibly risk what he’s been given in pursuit of something he’s got no right to.

“You don’t have to tell me.” In the end, it’s Jaskier who rescues Geralt from his own indecision. “But don’t think you’re fooling anyone.” It could be over. He could talk about something else. For once, Jaskier isn’t pressing him for answers, so Geralt really has no idea what compels him to ask, “Why?

Judging by the way Jaskier’s eyebrows abruptly try to flee to his hairline, he wasn’t expecting the question either. “Why… what?”

Now that he’s had time to consider, it’s really only the fact that he dug himself into this that makes Geralt bother to clarify. “Why do you want to know?” 

“Oh…” Jaskier huffs out a laugh and bumps his shoulder companionably against Geralt’s. “Because, you great fool, you’re dear to me.” 

And that’s the end of it. Sort of. Jaskier settles nearly close enough to touch, content to watch the merrily burning fire. It feels almost surreal, like an empty street in a bustling marketplace, and it leaves Geralt aching. The worst part of his foolish, runaway feelings is that it’s nothing so simple as wanting to tumble into bed together, however pleasant that might be. It’s this moment, right here, where they just exist together, where he can imagine Jaskier is drawn in by more than a platonic sort of companionship.

“What do you want?” Geralt finds himself asking, because he wants to know, truly. Jaskier has an uncanny knack for talking incessantly without actually telling anyone anything, but perhaps he won’t dodge a direct question.

Jaskier lights up like Geralt has made his entire year, all excitement and unnecessary animation.“All sorts of things. I want the whole continent to know who I am. I want to capture the best and the worst of the world we move through and share it. I want all the adventure life has to offer.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Geralt spots Jaskier rubbing his fingers and thumb together as he quiets once more. It’s a familiar habit after all this time, a self soothing behavior Jaskier turns to when he’s nervous or lost in thought about something. Before Geralt can try to suss out what it means, Jaskier sighs and starts again, strangely subdued. “But mostly, I want to… to matter, I guess. Not to everyone, but to someone.”

“How do you mean?” 

The corner of Jaskier’s mouth pulls up just a hair. “I guess I just want someone’s life to be a little bit better for having me in it.” There are so many things Geralt wishes he had the courage to give voice to. Each and every one of them fails him now that he has an opening. “Hmm.” 

---

The bard’s words never quite leave Geralt. Not as they finish eating. Not as they put out the fire. Not as they bed down for the night. 

Jaskier sticks close the way he always does this time of year, when the chill in the air is harder to fend off. Even in their respective bedrolls, Jaskier is near enough that Geralt can feel the warmth emanating from his body. It’s soothing in a way Geralt hates himself for taking some measure of refuge in. 

Honesty in its entirety is easier in the dark though. Not about the things he wants. He will perhaps never divulge that, but… “You already have that last one,” he says quietly before he can second guess himself. 

“Hmm?” Jaskier rolls over to face Geralt, one bright blue eye cracked open. 

“You said you wanted someone’s…” Geralt sighs and wishes he didn’t have to finish that sentence. Nevermind that he’s the one who started it. “Life to be better because you exist.”

It’s not a confession. It’s not. But Geralt’s heart insists on picking up its pace anyway as he waits for Jaskier to reply with something besides what looks to be stunned silence. 

“That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” Before Geralt can protest, Jaskier’s arm is draped around him, dragging the witcher into a haphazard embrace. Jaskier's fingers splay out between Geralt’s shoulder blades like they're made to fit there.

If he were a better man, he would pull away for both their sakes, Geralt thinks. But Jaskier’s palm is a brand right through his shirt, and the bard’s head is tucked comfortably under Geralt’s chin, and letting go is a bridge too far right now. 

So Geralt stays, allowing the unexpected intimacy of it all, right up until Jaskier mumbles against his collarbone. “I am absolutely going to remind you of this the next time you grouch at me.”

“Nevermind. I take it back.” The foray back towards their usual banter is a welcome thing, even more so because it’s not and either/or right now. He doesn’t have to let go to needle at Jaskier. 

And it really must be getting late or else Jaskier simply knows him too well, because the bard doesn’t even look at Geralt. “No you don’t.” 

For a time, Geralt listens to the steady in and out of Jaskier’s breathing, punctuated by warm puffs of air against his skin. This is a closeness usually reserved for too small beds and cramped quarters, places where there is some excuse to touch beyond simply that he wants to. Jaskier looks to be drifting off as if there’s no place he’d rather be though, and Geralt thinks maybe he could let it be. Just for tonight. 

“Geralt?” Jaskier mumbles, voice thick and sluggish. 

They’re on hallowed ground, it feels like, and Geralt dares not speak a word. “Hmm?”

In the silence that draws out around them, Geralt feels Jaskier’s mouth twist into a smile against his skin. “Me too.”  (Fic Masterpost)

#geraskier #geralt of rivia #gerlion #Jaskier #geralt x jaskier #my fic #better where you are series

[12tardis]

In My Defence, I Have None (Newt Scamander x Reader)

Warnings: brief panic attack mentions  Requested: yes @cyborgfromthesupermarket asked for ‘they are in a battle or something and reader gets hurt trying to protect Newt?’ Thanks for the prompt! I hope you like it, I know it’s probably not what you had in mind… Pairing: Newt Scamander x Reader  Summary: You get hurt in battle when you throw yourself in front of Newt to save him. Will he finally tell you how he feels or will he lose you for good? Can he fix what he’s done? Features Angry/scared Newt!  A/N: I stalled on this for so long because I had so many ideas to drag out the angst and change the ending I hope you guys like it! I know the timeline of the fbawtft book is off don’t @ me  Title: the 1 - Taylor Swift - SO PROUD of my bby Aaron Dessner for helping me to see Taylor’s prowess as a song writer. Just imagine the reader singing this all angsty like  Words: 4,138  Taglist: @moonkissk7

You were doing your best to fend off bits off falling debris as the building around you collapsed in collateral damage from the heated duel going on between Newt and Grindelwald. You and Tina deflected some falling rubble that was headed for Jacob while Queenie was also busy trying to help Newt. 

Time seemed to drag on as you all battled it out for what felt like hours, the duel coming to a head when you flung a pile of bricks at Grindelwald, the man becoming enraged and fighting back at Newt with even more resolve. 

You watched on in horror as Newt briefly wiped the sweat that was forming in his brow and Grindelwald took the opportunity to cast one of the unforgivable curses at him. 

You saw the whole thing in slow motion as you watched your best friend, the man you had loved for as long as you could remember, push his hair back from his face completely oblivious to the curse that hurtling towards him. Your heart was in your throat and you didn’t even hesitate to throw yourself in front of Newt, screaming his name as you pushed him out of harm’s way. 

“NEWT!” his eyes snapped to you immediately when he heard your scream and he felt his entire body run cold as he saw the unmistakable plume of green coming out of Grindelwald’s wand, heading straight for your back. 

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion for him too as he instinctively cast the knock back jinx at you, sending you back with too much force, causing you to fall into a pile of rubble roughly. He winced at your cry of pain, but he was relieved that the spell had missed you completely, instead dissipating into the ruins around you. 

He turned away from you focusing his full energy on fighting Grindelwald, firing a round of rapid spells at the man in his fury. His newfound adrenaline seemed to stun the other man just long enough for Tina to disarm the man and just moments later a flock Auror’s arrived in the station. 

Newt didn’t look back at you once as the MACUSA President and the Auror’s arrested Grindelwald, staring the man down until he was out of sight and it was just the five of you left in the ruined station.

Newt turned to face you, seeing Tina and Queenie on either side of you. Tina was dusting the dirt off  you while Queenie cast a simple healing charm over the few cuts and scrapes you had. 

You were shaking and wanted nothing more than to feel Newt’s safe arms around you after that close call but as you looked back at him you noticed the harsh line of his jaw and the way he was clenching his fists at his sides. 

You pushed the Goldstein sisters away from you gently and stepped towards Newt with your hand outstretched only to recoil when he began to shout at you.

“Y/N, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND!?” 

You could have heard a pin drop in the ruined station as you all just stood there staring a Newt in complete shock. He had only ever treated you with the utmost care and respect, not once raising his voice at you.

You had never even heard him curse before and had only seen him angry once before in your entire life. That had been when you’d broken your arm helping Theseus with one of his mother’s Hippogriffs but that time his anger had been directed at his brother, not at you. Plus, it had been fairly easy to calm him down then. With one doe eyed look and a carefully timed hug you had the younger Scamander pacified. 

This time though his entire body was tense, looking about ready to snap in two and you could practically hear him grinding his teeth together as an angry flush spread up his neck and to his ears. He looked the complete opposite of the sweet and gentle Newt that you’d fallen for. He was absolutely livid, and you found yourself shrinking under his gaze. 

“I-I was...he was,” you stuttered as you stared back at Newt, feeling like a scorned child but then you remembered that Grindelwald had very nearly killed him “I was protecting you!” you said firmly, finding your voice once more as you tried to reach for Newt again.

But that seemed to be the worst possible thing you could have said as he somehow grew even more enraged. “I CAN LOOK AFTER MYSELF!”, he shouted, his voice booming in the crumbling tunnel and then he cut you off before you could even speak again.

“That was completely IDIOTIC! Did you even stop to think for a second?!” 

You stared back at him as tears welled in your eyes, threatening to spill. Being one of the more spritely and eccentric Hufflepuff’s at Hogwarts had meant that you were no stranger to being called an idiot or stupid by your peers. You had been taunted with the words for years and Newt had been one of the only people in your life to never throw them in your face. 

He was usually the one defending you when people hurled those insults at you. You could always depend on him to cheer you up by sneaking you your favourite snacks from the kitchens and spending his time assuring you that you were clever and incredible. So, to hear him call you an idiot so easily now deeply upset you.

“Hey hey...Newt, come on buddy”, Jacob intervened, touching his friend on the shoulder when he saw your bottom lip start to tremble and the way Newt didn’t appear to be backing down any time soon.

And as you watched Newt’s chest rise and fall rapidly while he continued to stare at you furiously you felt your own anger bubbling to the surface.

“I’m going home!”, you snapped, shaking your head at him as you snatched your wand up from where it had fallen. You weren’t standing for this. How dare he shout at you in such a way when you were only trying to help!

“Good! I don’t want to travel with a liability anyway!” He snapped back at you and your eyes widened because you had just meant home as in back to the Goldstein’s apartment. But he was clearly talking about your home London. It was like an ice dagger through your heart.

Was he really done with you just like that?

You couldn’t hold back your sob as you ran from the train station, too upset to apparate anywhere and Tina and Jacob followed after you immediately. Queenie stayed behind though because she was the only person that could hear how distressed Newt was.

 The second you and the others were gone he sunk to his knees, burying his face in his hands and letting out a shuddering breath.

 Queenie blinked back her own tears as she heard his thoughts louder and clearer than she ever had before. She could feel the overwhelming sense of fear and self loathing the was practically pouring from him.

 She nearly died because of me.

I can’t protect her

I’m not even worth it

“Sweetheart don’t think like that. You are absolutely worth saving”, she said softly, laying her hand on his back and sighing sadly when she only heard another round of self-deprecating thoughts flood her mind.

“Queenie please. Leave me be”, Newt pleaded, digging his nails into his palms as he tried to block her out of his thoughts though he knew it was no use.

Queenie frowned down at him when his thoughts became more centred around the fear he’d just felt seeing Y/N so nearly taken from him. “She loves you you know?”, she whispered, kneeling down beside him carefully and gently hugging him.Newt continued to sit there tensely, not allowing himself the comfort of Queenie’s hug, so she squeezed his shoulder as she got back to her feet.

“She’s loves you and you need to tell her how you feel soon or else she’s never going to understand why you just hurt her the way you did,” she said softly before she too left him there to think on his own.

Newt walked around the city for about an hour after Queenie had left, trying to calm himself down so that he could go to you and salvage whatever was left of your relationship but he kept replaying the image of you throwing yourself in front of him to take the hit of a killing curse. 

He knew he probably should have been touched that you cared for him so much, but all he felt was a crippling sense of dread and guilt. He couldn’t live with himself if you died because of him. Heaven knows he hadn’t even stopped beating himself up over you getting bitten by one of the Doxies and that was weeks ago.

His love for you was so profound that he had considered cutting you out of his life in order to keep you safe several times before, but you simply never listened to him. You always sensed when he was closing himself off and you just wouldn’t allow it. 

As he wandered through the streets of New York it was the realisation of what he’d really just said to you that calmed him down immediately. The anger made way for complete remorse.

“Merlin, what have I done?”, he whispered out loud, earning himself a few odd looks from passers-by. He’d screamed at you. He’d called you idiotic. He’d let you believe that he didn’t want you by his side in his travels. How far from the truth that all was. 

He found himself standing in the Goldstein’s apartment not a minute later, looking away in shame at the looks Tina and Jacob both shot him. He looked back at Queenie desperately and the other woman simply gestured to the guest room, offering him the tiniest smile of encouragement. 

Tina appeared in front of him though before he made it even half way down the hallway, jabbing a finger into his chest “If you make her cry again I will break your fingers one by one and feed them to your creatures, Mr Scamander”, she practically growled at him. And Newt couldn’t help but shudder because he knew it wasn’t just an empty threat coming from the older Goldstein. 

Tina absolutely adored you. You were the only person other than Queenie that saw through her cold exterior and never complained about her uptight ways. You two had hit it off from the moment you’d met, and you brought out a softness in her that Newt recognised in himself. So, he didn’t begrudge Tina for threatening him one bit but he just wanted to see you and fix what he’d done. 

“Tina, I promise I’m going to fix this, just please let me go to her”, he pleaded, willing himself to look the woman in the eye so he could prove he was being genuine. She stared at him with a cold and calculating stare for a few moments before she eventually nodded, stepping out of his way and returning to the dining room.

Newt sighed and continued to the guest room, sucking in a breath before he pushed the door open and stepped into the room, his heart clenching painfully in his chest when he saw you curled up on the bed clutching a pillow to your chest with obvious tear tracks running down your face.

“Go away”, you said weakly, turning away from him on the bed, and closing your eyes tightly. You recognised the look of concern on his face and you knew you didn’t have to worry about him shouting at you again, but you just didn’t have the energy to face him. 

He continued towards you and crouched down by the bed so he could be at the same height as you “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” he murmured. He was itching to reach out for you and hold you like he usually would, but he knew he’d lost the right to even think about touching you now. 

“I don’t want to hear it, Newton” you said starting off strong, but he heard your voice crack clear as day and he felt his own heart crack simultaneously. He’d seen you cry plenty of times before and each time had made his chest ache but to know that he was the cause of your tears this time brought him deep sorrow and despair. 

How could he have hurt you so badly? You were the person he loved more than life itself and here you were crying at his own doing. 

“Y/N please I- I have no excuses for how I spoke to you but Y/N I need you to know that I didn’t mean a single word I said,” Newt gushed out, still itching to reach for you and sucking in a breath when you suddenly turned to face him, not even attempting to hold your tears back. 

“You called me an idiot”, you cried, letting out a shuddering breath “you were the only person that never called me that!” you chocked out and Newt had his own tears in his eyes now, absolutely loathing himself as he watched you. 

“And now you don’t even- you don’t even want me around anymore!”, you gasped out and Newt frowned in concern when he realised you were starting to hyperventilate. Usually he would already be holding you close and talking you down. 

“You don’t want to be my friend anymore, I didn’t- didn’t mean to make you mad” your stuttering got worse and Newt got to his feet, throwing caution to the wind as he climbed into the bed and pulled you into his arms. 

“Sweetheart no,” he said firmly, holding you close in his arms and soothing one up and down your back while he used the other to tuck your head into the crook of his neck. He’d held you just like this numerous times over your many years of friendship, usually when you would wake up in tears from a nightmare. He would sit up with you, murmuring sweet words into your ear for as long as it took for you to relax again and he was just praying it would work in this case too. 

“I didn’t mean a single word I said, and I am so so sorry, love. You are so incredibly witty and clever; I have never thought you to be anything less. How many times have you gotten me out of strife with your quick thinking?” He murmured, letting out a breath of relief when you didn’t push him away.

You were clutching at his shirt, you fingers curled tightly into the fabric as if he was going to leave you at any moment. “T-then why were you so mad? Why don’t you want to travel with me anymore?”, you managed to croak out, closing your eyes tightly as you sucked in an unsteady breath. 

Newt let out a quiet sigh, pressing the softest kiss to the top of your head “I do want to travel with you. I don’t want to see the world with anyone else. But I was terrified Y/N. I was scared when I saw you fall from that Hippogriff in 6th year and I was scared when I watched you take on that Ridgeback last year, or the time you concussed yourself in Ireland but this was...this was different Y/N.” 

Newt let out a long breath, closing his eyes for a moment as he tried to gather his thoughts, still holding you close. Your body was unwittingly relaxing and reacting to the way Newt had you cradled in his arms because you subconsciously knew his embrace meant safety and love after the many time’s he’d held you in the same way. Touching you with the utmost care like he would a wounded creature. 

“Y/N...I’ve never felt more terrified than I did today”, Newt murmured seriously as he slowly pulled back from you, gripping your forearms as you gazed back at him. “Watching you, throw your body between myself and that killing curse”, he tensed up slightly at the memory “I couldn’t breathe. For a second there I really thought I was going to lose you having never told you how I really felt...”

He glanced down nervously, and you listened to him closely, your eyebrows pulling together “I don’t understand. I couldn’t just stand there and watch it happen, sure I acted on impulse, but I’d do it again. And I think you’d do the same for me.” you murmured, frowning back at your best friend. 

Newt sighed, rubbing a hand down his face as he nodded “Merlin, I know and of course I would. I would do it in a heartbeat. I just...you...I need you to understand what you mean to me.” 

He hopped to his feet when you continued to look at him in confusion and he rummaged around his luggage until he found what he was looking for. He sat back down across from you, holding a plain looking book out to you.

“It’s the first draft of my book.” Newt murmured nervously and you gasped in response, wondering why he hadn’t told you about it and why he was showing you now of all times. But as you flicked past the fly leaf the questions died in your throat, because there printed in the middle of the dedication page was your name.

 To Y/N,

The love of my life, my soul mate.

You are by far, the most exquisite creature I’ve ever met.

I owe you my happiness and I offer my heart.

Eternally yours, (If you’ll have me and even if not)

N.S. 

Newt watched you read it in silence, starting to fidget nervously when you showed no response whatsoever. “I um...obviously if you don’t feel the same way that’s a-absolutely fine! We can forget about this. I just- I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you for months now because I love you , I truly do and the thought of you n-not being around anymore terrifies me and I took my anger towards myself and Grindelwald out on you and-“

“Newt. Stop talking.” You said quietly, still not looking up at him as you continued to stare down at the book in your hands, gripping it in a vice like grip now just to make sure you weren’t dreaming. And Newt shut his mouth quickly, watching you in concern. 

He wrung his hands in his lap, wondering if your silence was revenge for how he’d spoken to you today. Maybe you were angry with him and you were trying not to snap. Or maybe you were disgusted, and you were trying to find the nicest way to let him down. That seemed the most likely, since you were the kindest person he knew. Of course, you were just trying to let him down without hurting his feelings too much. 

Newt looked back up at you when he heard the quietest sniffle come from you, a few stray tears falling onto the paper of the book in your lap. “Oh, and now I’ve just made you cry again,” Newt sighed, shaking his head at himself clenching his hands into fists “Y/N I’m so sorry. I’m such a fool” but you clapped your hand over his mouth before he had the chance to stammer out any more apologies.

“Merlin Newt just be quiet for a minute,” you sighed and Newt looked back at you with big eyes, trying to talk against your hand to which you raised an eyebrow at him and he promptly stopped. 

You let go of him when he was finally silent and you looked back at him wordlessly, making him squirm because he had so much more to say to you. He wanted to ask you if you were okay or if you wanted him to go but as you climbed over to him and sat yourself down sideways in his lap, he found his answer. 

You looped an arm around his shoulders, holding the book in your other hand as you read over the dedication again and Newt watched you in wonder, his heart starting to race when he saw a smile grace your features and he slowly lifted his arm to wrap around your waist, holding you securely.

You held a finger to his lips when you sensed he was about to start talking again, fixing him with a warning look. Newt let out a small huff of exasperation against your finger but couldn’t help but smile slightly as he settled back against the bed head, looking up at you in awe. 

You sat in silence for what felt like hours to Newt, just taking in the moment. “So...I’m the most exquisite creature you’ve ever met huh?”, you said eventually, smiling down at Newt teasingly, unprepared for the look of absolute adoration he gave in return. 

Newt nodded quickly, cupping your cheek tenderly “yes exquisite, enthralling, magnificent”, he murmured seriously, looking you in the eyes with such intensity you forgot how to breathe “kind, compassionate and so excruciatingly beautiful.”

You stared back into his eyes, feeling your cheeks heat as you sucked in a deep breath, leaning into his gentle touch “and I’m...the love of your life?” you asked, peering back at him shyly.

“Yes”, he whispered, his face inching closer to yours “I am entirely lost without you. You are my best friend and the love of my life”, he repeated, smiling adoringly at the smile that broke across your face “being with you feels like coming home and I am utterly enamoured with you.” 

You felt tears welling in your eyes again but this time Newt didn’t fret because he knew they weren’t tears of sorrow. You shifted yourself in his lap until you were straddling him, facing him properly as you lay your hand over his heart, “and this is mine?”, you whispered, your lips only inches away from his now. 

Newt flushed a deep pink as he lay his hand over yours, knowing you must have been able to feel the way his heart was trying to beat out of his chest, and nodding again “always,” he whispered, brushing your tears away delicately. 

You kept your hand on his chest, letting him brush your tears away before you pressed your forehead to his “kiss me?” 

Newt closed the gap between you quickly, pressing his lips to yours in the softest most tender kiss imaginable, letting out a breath through his nose as he cupped your face in his palm. You sighed quietly against his lips, completely melting against him as you reached up, tangling your fingers in his hair. 

You only pulled back for air, looking back at him with pure joy shining in your eyes “I love you too you know?” You pressed another sweet kiss to his lips, taking his hands in your own and threading your fingers together “my soulmate,” you whispered, glad to see the happiness reflected in Newt’s eyes. 

Newt stroked your hair back gently from your face some time later when you were both laying down tangled up together, “Can you ever forgive me for being so awful today?” He murmured, looking back at you and you could see the guilt flash in his eyes again.

“Mmm I’ll consider it if you take me to the markets tomorrow,” you teased before you pressed a kiss to his jaw “in all seriousness though I already have. I know you didn’t mean what you said, you only said it out of fear.”

You snuggled in closer to him, laying your head on his chest and looking up at him as you held a finger up “BUT. If you EVER talk to me like that again I will not hesitate to hex you into next year”

Newt smiled thankfully back at you, lifting your hand and pressing a loving kiss to your skin “I wouldn’t dream of it.” 

You and Newt continued to share sweet kisses and words of adoration for the rest of the evening and Tina headed to fetch you both when dinner was served. She also just wanted to make sure Newt was staying true to his promise, but her sister grabbed her by the arm before she could leave the dining room. 

“Leave them be, Teenie it’s okay.” The Legilimens murmured with a faraway look in her eyes and a soft smile on her lips, “They’re happy.”

  -Masterlist Here-

let me know what you think!

#newt scamander x reader #newt scamander x you #newt scamander x y/n #newt x reader #newt scamander #Newton Artemis Fido Scamander

[littlesniggy]

Stupid

Anon: The Buggy pirates captures a princess of a powerful kingdom to try and make money of her but soon later they find out that she's tougher that she looks and they find out the hard way, she won't go down without a fight //have fun :D//

So, Idk if this is what you wanted since she isn't really fighting per se but I still hope you like it. 

Word count: 1.7k

“Captain Buggy, you are a genius!” his crew yelled and the Clown giggled, holding your arm tightly with his hand in order for you not to escape. Well, where would your run anyways? You were on their ship on the way to God knows where. You watched the pirates celebrating your capture, judging each and every one of them. It was your own fault they were able to kidnap you. Just once you were walking around the palace aimlessly, minding your own business with your brain chasing different strings of thoughts when you felt two hands grabbing you and lifting you up to the sky. You tried to struggle but soon realized that it wouldn’t be a good idea since a drop from your current height would probably be deadly.

“Noooow listen! Phase one is completed! It’s time for part two!!” the pirate holding your arm screamed, his voice obnoxiously loud but his crew seemed to love it. You took a closer look at him. If you remembered correctly his name was Buggy the Clown and he was one of the Seven Warlords. How did he get the title? Was it a mistake? Every soldier in your father’s kingdom could easily take him on and win. But maybe there was more to him?

“Cabaji! Take our guest to her new room.” Buggy giggled as he pushed you towards the black-haired man who in return took you under deck to the small cells. Not even a bed. You looked over your shoulder back to the captain who was giving a speech to his crew. You wanted to know what their plan was but you weren’t lucky enough and so you ended up in the small cell.

“I already have some offers for her but I bet we can get more out of her. Even the king offered money to get his daughter back but I doubt he will actually pay.” Galdino let Buggy know. The captain looked up from his desk, a sinister grin on his face. “This was to be expected. But I already know someone who would pay a huge amount for her. Especially if you consider his and her father’s relationships. I bet he would take her as leverage. I just need to contact him.”

Galdino tilted his head to the side. “Who are you talking about?” he wondered but Buggy simply laughed in his usual maniac manner. “You’ll see soon.”

You were given small amounts of food, barely considered a meal. You were used to better food but after all, you were a prisoner so you could be happy to get anything at all. You picked up on some scraps of conversations and soon got a rough picture on what the plan was – and you didn’t like it. If it was another king you would try being political, talk things through and get to an agreement. But all rationality was lost on the man they intended to sell you to, regardless your skills. It would simply end in a war between your and his country or your father would give in to him and God knows what would happen then.

So, you hatched a plan. It worked in your favor they intended on stopping at an island. It also worked in your favor that apparently, they had no idea you were a devil fruit user so you weren’t wearing any handcuffs. You were kind of embarrassed they managed to abduct you in the first place.  

When the time came and you heard most of the crew leaving the ship you smiled to yourself. But before you could follow through with your plan you heard footsteps coming towards your cell and the captain himself, followed by two of his man, grazed you with his presence. He grinned at you, his eyes ogling your body a little too obviously.

“It’s rude to look at a princess like that. One could think you might have bad intentions.” It was the first time you spoke to him, your eyes watching him carefully. Buggy giggled and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I am incredibly sorry for looking at your highness like this. A mere peasant like me could never understand how your highness is feeling.” Sarcasm was dripping off his tongue with every word he spoke and it made you mad. But, you have learned from a very young age how to swallow your anger and simply ‘nod and agree’.

“That’s why you stayed silent to his remark, making him laugh. “As expected, fear is consuming her body.” Of course….you thought to yourself.

“So, we are going to get off the ship and you will need to wait here. After all, we don’t want our special guest to get hurt or kidnapped.” His voice got shriekier with every word he said and if you could you would knock him out but you knew you had no chance against him with his crew still nearby.

“Does your highness need something from the store?” he asked. You already knew he wouldn’t get you anything so you remained silent yet again.

“As you wish. Nothing it is!” he watched him and his two men turn around and leave you behind.

A few minutes passed but the besides the sound of the waves breaking and two men who remained on the ship it was silent. Now was your chance! You knew you didn’t have a lot of time. The crew members who had left wouldn’t be gone forever. So, you bit your finger and let a drop of blood fall to the floor. Within a few seconds a clone of yourself was forming out of the blood and when done it was looking back at you. Good, the food they had given you was apparently good nutritious enough for your devil fruit to work.

You repeated this a few times, letting some of your blood fall outside your cell through the bars. When you were done you had an ‘army’ of five clones. With enough force you six managed to open the cell and you were free. You stopped, listened to any sound and when you were sure you slowly went outside.

There, you were surprised by a big lion who was growling at you and a man with a hairstyle like a lion’s mane. “Richie, don’t let her escape!” he ordered the lion who in return attacked you. One of your clones pushed you to the side, sacrificing itself for your sake. Another clone ran towards the man and pushed him to the ground, pinning him down.

Mohji was more than confused when you and five clones suddenly appeared but he had the order to, just in case, make sure you didn’t leave the ship. And now he saw you running towards the ramp, about to leave the ship. He knew you couldn’t get off the island but it would be a pain in the ass to look for you. Plus, he didn’t want to get yelled at by his captain. Richie had managed to get rid of the clones, also the one sitting on Mohji. “Let’s go, Mohji! You will track her down and I will call Captain Buggy!” he yelled and reached for his den-den mushi while rushing on land.

“Captain! We are in trouble! The princess managed to escape!” he informed Buggy. “Whaaaaaaat?!” he had to hold the den-den mushi away from him due to Buggy’s loud screaming. “How did she get out?” the captain demanded to know. “Well….she is a devil fruit user. Suddenly, there were a lot of clones and Richie and I had to fend them off first.” “Devil fruit?! Why didn’t we know about this? Oh, well, we can’t change it. We will search the whole island! Inform the rest!” he yelled and then hung up.

Buggy saw you running behind a huge rock and he smiled deviously. His upper body flew up in the sky and was soon looking down at you from above. You were hiding, looking around, searching for him and his men. Stupid princess.

“Gottcha!” he yelled but before he could grab you, you punched him in the face – hard. He held his nose, pressing his eyes shut, tears forming in his eyes. “You little….!” But you were already running away from him. He followed you, cursing you out due to the pain. Soon enough the rest of his crew was chasing you as well, slowly cornering you at the beach on the opposite side of the island.

“Now, your highness, you have nowhere else to run or hide.” Buggy sneered, his upper and lower body connecting again. He strode towards you, a smug smile on his face. You glared at him before throwing another punch. This time, he separated his body. The result was you stumbling to the ground, landing on your knees. Buggy and his crew laughed, making fun of your ‘clumsiness’. “Mohji, bring the cuffs!” he ordered. The other man walked closer, holding the cuffs in his hands. “Tie her up and let’s bring her back to the ship!” Buggy ordered.

You tried to get up and run away but Buggy stopped you by grabbing your ankle with his hand, making you fall to the ground again. What a dirty move. You felt the cold metal around your wrists and your energy was draining away fast. “This time you won’t be able to escape. You were lucky we were a little bit unprepared but this ends now!” his laugh was echoing through the island, his crew joining in.

The laughter suddenly stopped when Buggy let out a scream. His crew was looking at him in confusion before following his horrified expression. Immediately, his crew followed suit, shocked expressions everywhere. But you couldn’t see any more because the clone had dissolved into a drop of blood again, the cuffs laying on the ground.

You smiled at yourself, the wind playing with your hair. Your clones were working the ship. You were glad your father had insisted on teaching you the basics of sailing. It would take a little while but you were sure you would eventually get back home. Especially since they had left their eternal log pose on the ship. “Stupid.” You hummed, letting your eyes roam the wide horizon.

#one piece #op #scenario #buggy the clown #monky d luffy #requests #straw hat #op buggy

[notchesandbullets]

Saving Her (Ojiro Mashirao x Wolf!Reader)

Art credit: @ mudubu00 on Twitter

Part 13: After Aizawa gets hurt, you and Shinsou speed over to the hospital to make sure he’s okay and yell at him for worrying you like that. Ojiro tags along to give his support as well as check in on the four of his classmates that were hurt in the yakuza fight. A week later, Aizawa brings you in, hoping that you can connect with the little girl that they rescued and encourage her to eat something. He didn’t expect it to go so well but now he has one more little joy to look after.

Word Count: 6.7k

“Dad, are you sure it’s okay for me to be here?” You asked worriedly as you two came to a halt in front of the hospital. The two of you were officially skipping school for the day. 

But this white building sure was a familiar sight.

You hadn’t been with him when he and a bunch of other pros, along with Kirishima, Asui, Uraraka and Midoriya had infiltrated the yakuza and rescued the little girl called Eri.

You had watched it on the news in the dorms, on the edge of your seat, hands clasped over your mouth fearfully with the rest of your classmates as the events unfolded right there on the screen. 

How the press was able to capture a battle of that size in person and not be shaken with fear their core was beyond you. 

But after seeing how much they went through, you couldn’t help but sprint out of the dorm along with Shinsou as the media caught a glimpse of Aizawa being dragged out by Rock Lock. 

It was far away, but he was slumped over as if he was unconscious. 

You needed to be there. He needed you.

Ojiro chased after you just in time to see you crash into two teachers just outside of the dorms who were also beside themselves with worry. 

They were already on their way to where Aizawa was getting treated, and you didn’t waste any time begging Mic to let you see him while Shinsou won over Midnight. 

It didn’t take too long to receive their permission and Ojiro tagged along with the two of you because he was equally worried about his friends who were injured in the battle as well as how you were taking it.

Upon arrival, the hospital was so busy that both boys beside you made sure not to take their eyes off of you as they steered you through the crowd, following Yamada and Kayama as they weaved in and out.

Since you were legally Aizawa’s daughter and Shinsou held a special bond with him as well, it wasn’t too hard to let you both see him first when the nurses asked who wanted to see him first as soon as he woke up from the anesthetic.

Ojiro held you the entire way there as your body racked with sobs, wrapping his tail around you in the waiting area despite the numerous odd glances that passed through even though Shinsou did a good job of fending off the nosy civilians with a sharp glare. 

You sniffled, fingers tightening on the lapels of his school-issued jacket as you fought the urge to cry. “Why won’t they let me see him?”

Brushing the hair back from your eyes, he petted you gently. Your ears were pinned flat against your head in distress and your nose was blotchy, watery eyes staring up at him with such pain that he couldn’t help but feel it too. 

“They need to check up on Aizawa-sensei first before we can see him, Y/N.” Ojiro told you, sensitive to the conflicted emotions you must be going through.

You sobbed quietly, beyond worried since the doctors haven’t let you see him yet. They wouldn’t tell you anything except that he was alive and stable. Shinsou sat quietly, apart from the two of you, unable to bring himself to make small talk with Ojiro who was holding you gently.

Things were still a little awkward between them. They hadn’t talked to each other since their encounter at the UA Sports Festival. 

Now, it would seem that they couldn’t avoid each other since they both held an important place in your life.

This would need to get resolved. And quickly. 

It felt like hours, but when the doctors finally gave you permission for the three of you to step in and see him, asking for immediate family only, you nearly sprinted into his room.

Ojiro, who already suspected that was going to be the case, reassured you prior that it was okay for you and Shinsou to visit your dad. He was going to pay a visit to Uraraka, Midoriya, Asui and Kirishima, who were also in the same hospital, and meet up with you once you were done.

“Dad!!” You cried out as you flung the door open, racing over to where he was laying on the cot. “Dad!!!”

His head was wrapped in bandages and his shoulder was in a sling. There was a single window and no other patients in the room. That was lucky for you because you were bawling your eyes out.

Aizawa groaned tiredly, turning towards you and smiled softly as you hit his rail and yelled at him for being so reckless and not telling you where he went. “You’re so noisy, kid.”

Your body racked with sobs as you cried, not even registering when Shinsou caught up to you, Yamada and Kayama stepping inside quietly before shutting the door.

“You look terrible.” Shinsou drawled nonchalantly, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he tried to appear as if he wasn’t worried.

Aizawa rolled his eyes, peering past him to find his two best friends waiting for him to notice them.

He groaned more out of feigned annoyance than pain as Mic squished him in a hug. “Not you again.”

Yamada’s cry of outrage almost caused the windows to crack as he accidentally used his quirk. “Shouta, you’re so mean!!!”

 You and Shinsou shushed him so harshly that it evoked a giggle from Kayama.

“You better listen to them.” She teased a now guilty looking Yamada. “They’re his kids after all.”

“Nemuri~” He whined.

“Mic, quit being a baby.” She snapped, before marching over to Aizawa and scolding him for being so reckless just like you had done a minute prior.

After dramatically proclaiming how his pride was wounded, Yamada calmed down. Kind of. 

Nobody in the room said it, but you could see how his fingers shook as he latched onto Aizawa’s bedside rail and the click of Kayama’s heels as she paced back and forth, giving away her anxiety.

You and Shinsou exchanged a look, then left to go outside without a word. Aizawa didn’t stop you, already suspecting what the two of you were doing.

All three adults froze as the door clicked close and Aizawa sighed heavily. 

“I didn’t mean to worry you.” He told them quietly, his voice scratchy and Kamaya was immediately fetching some water for him from the sink, ordering him to drink before he said anything else.

Yamada crossed his legs as he sank to the ground, his eyes flitting up to meet his best friend’s. His insanely stupid best friend who had landed himself in the hospital yet again. 

“You’re an idiot, worrying us like that.” He mumbled and Aizawa cracked a smile.

“Yeah, I suppose I am.”

Outside, you sank down to the ground that was honestly probably not very clean while Shinsou leaned against the opposite wall.

He exhaled forcefully, rubbing the back of his neck in subtle relief. “Close call, huh?”

Your fluffy ears twitched and you nodded, causing them to flop back and forth. “Yeah.”

Thank goodness his injuries weren’t extensive. Other than a shallow knife wound to the shoulder and back, he was okay. He would be fatigued for awhile thanks to Recovery Girl’s quirk but that was all.

You hoped.

“Do you think he’ll be okay?” You asked quietly.

Battles weren’t just about physical exertion, they were also draining mentally. You didn’t know how much of a toll this one would take on him or the repercussions that would follow.

Shinsou stayed quiet for a moment, thinking it over. If it was anyone else, he would’ve brushed them off or replied in his blunt, instinctual way but this was you he was talking about. He cared more than most others. 

“I’m sure he’ll be fine.” He said slowly, choosing his words carefully. “Da— Aizawa-sensei’s strong.”

A broad, toothy grin split across your features.

“You almost said ‘dad’~” You sang merrily, a teasing light in your eye and he rolled his eyes.

“Whatever.” Shinsou muttered, ignoring you now that you had switched on your annoying side. 

“It’ll happen one day.” You stated firmly, hands balling into fists determinedly as you declared your stance. “And when it does, you can’t take it back. And I get all rights to boast about it in the future.”

Shinsou waved you off and an easier silence encompassed the two of you.

Kayama came back out to get you both after an hour approximately passed, a rare apologetic expression on her face as she apologized for taking so long. Shinsou brushed it off and you reassured her that it was okay.

You were all worried about him. Apparently, he had been dipping in and out of consciousness ever since he arrived due to the pain meds but he was going to be okay.

Yamada was slouched over Aizawa’s bedside and when Kayama came in after you and Shinsou, she planted herself down next to the unusually quiet loudmouth. 

You and Shinsou took up the other side, eyes growing heavy with how taxing today had been and it wasn’t long before you two drifted off, the adults following suit soon after.

When Aizawa came to and saw the four of you near him, he couldn’t help but smile tiredly. The sight was rare and no one was squabbling incessantly over something that wasn’t important. Instead, only the sound of silence filled his hospital room. 

Aside from the brush with death, he could get used to this.

Once he had fallen asleep again, you were being shaken away. 

Ojiro sent you a soft smile, kneeling down on the floor and rubbing comforting circles on your back. 

You bolted upright, your tail knocking into Shinsou and startling him awake as it thumped against his back.

“Mashirao?!”

He held a finger up to his mouth to shush you quickly, motioning to where Aizawa, Kayama and Yamada were all asleep. 

You followed him outside so that you didn’t disturb the three of them, Shinsou grumbling about how abruptly he had been woken up but trailed behind you begrudgingly. 

Once he closed the door behind him, you immediately burst out with endless questions on how your classmates were doing. Ojiro was quick to reassure you that aside from Kirishima, everyone else seemed to be doing okay, only sustaining minor injuries.

Seeing as how Midoriya was lumped in with that group, you were shocked that he hadn’t managed to get hurt too badly.

Grateful, but shocked.

Ojiro asked if you would like to see them and you eagerly nodded, inviting Shinsou to come along with you but he awkwardly declined.

It felt too weird still, he wasn’t used to people talking to him so easily, since his quirk was the main reason why so many people avoided him in middle school. 

Your ears drooped a little bit, having a feeling of where his head was at but gave in. You weren’t going to pressure him when he was so obviously uncomfortable. You could only hope that it faded with time because once he joined the hero course, he was going to have to deal with everyone in Class 1-A, regardless of whether or not he actually chose A over B. 

Ashido, Midoriya and Kaminari had been especially keen on getting to know him better. 

You extended your hand out to Ojiro without thinking about it, only to blush when you realized how easy that simple action was. You had gotten so used to it that you hadn’t realized how intimate the gesture actually was. 

But before you could retract your hand, his fingers wove with yours and he tucked you under his arm, making sure to keep you close while you walked down the hall filled with heavy traffic on the way to Kirishima’s room. 

Another hour and a half had passed. You had visited all four of your classmates, even meeting the Big Three for the first time since you were absent during the day that Togata laid pain on your class. 

Asui and Ururaka smiled when you entered with Ojiro by your side and you hugged them both tight, relaying how glad you were that they were okay. 

Kirishima was unconscious when you visited his room and you decided to let him rest, writing him a little note that wished him a swift recovery, leaving it on his pillow.

Midoriya was happy to see you, automatically asking if you were hurt. You had to rush to explain that you were visiting your dad and thought it would be good to check on them while you were at it. He gave you a brief rundown on what they were doing, what the news failed to cover, and your brow furrowed as he told you about the little girl that was the focus of their rescue operation.

That must have been so hard to go through.

“Are you okay?” Ojiro asked you quietly as you worked your way through the maze of the hospital, on your way back to the waiting room where Shinsou was undoubtedly waiting for you.

Ducking your head, you nodded but it was more out of instinct that actual acknowledgement. “Yeah, I just wish I could’ve been there. Maybe I could’ve done something.”

His eyes grew conflicted at the emotion in your voice and he inclined his head. He understood where you were coming from but you shouldn’t fault yourself for not being there. The four of them who were involved with work-studies were ready for this. They managed to save her.

“I know.” Ojiro finally whispered quietly, patting your head softly in reassurance. “But they’ll be okay.”

You heaved a sigh. “I hope so.”

As soon as you made it back to the waiting room, the sun was setting outside and your stomach rumbled with the need for food.  

Your hand slipped out of Ojiro’s as you left him with Shinsou, racing to the cafeteria with hopes that they would have some kind of meat for you to chow down on before it was time to leave. 

Kayama and Yamada were already waiting in the car for you three, knowing that you took a little extra time to visit your friends.

Shinsou rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and Ojiro’s tail drooped as he realized that they still weren’t able to hold a conversation.

“Erm, how’s Aizawa-sensei doing?” Ojiro asked tentatively.

Shinsou exhaled sharply. “He’s fine.”

The guarded tone he took with him made the tailed teen drop the subject, his heart twisting painfully as he realized that this wasn’t going to be as easy as he had hoped. Then again, he couldn’t necessarily say that he blamed him. 

Shinsou’s indigo hues cleared a tad when Ojiro’s tail fell limp and he closed his eyes briefly before they snapped back open.

“If you have something to say then say it before she gets back.” He grumbled.

Ojiro’s eyes widened at the opportunity handed to him before recovering quickly. Shoulders straightening, his eyes squinted a fraction, determined to follow through with what he wanted to say.

Shinsou raised an eyebrow when the other gestured for him to sit but did so without arguing. 

And without saying anything else, Ojiro began. 

When you approached them, smoothie and empty wrapper in hand from where you had inhaled the food you had bought with Uncle Hizashi’s credit card, you tilted your head curiously at the sight of the two of them engaged in a deep conversation. 

And as the day ended, the five of you headed back to UA, leaving you forever in the dark about what they were talking about.

Now, a week later, you were back at the very same hospital but for very different reasons. Nighteye had made a full recovery, thanks to some of your blood which had an advanced healing property no one was aware of before. 

After you quietly admitted to keeping it a secret due to it being one of the reasons the Quirk Traffickers took you, Aizawa told you that you didn’t need to apologize and had All Might keep the doctors who transferred the blood off the record so that it couldn’t be traced back to you. 

Even though Aizawa had been cleared and released within a day or so, thanks to Recovery Girl’s quirk, there was still something else he had to do.

He thought it would be a good idea to take you along when he visited the girl they saved. She got scared at everything that moved and was jittery all the time, which was taxing on her already exhausted little body.

He hoped that by seeing you, someone who had also been through something traumatic, you could help her by understanding what a lot of others failed to see.

Look, doctors were great, up until the point where they just couldn’t stand on the same ground as the little one. 

No one knew what Eri had gone through. Sure, they had the papers and the evidence, enough to lock Chisaki away for life, but that didn’t mean they really knew.

They didn’t know what it was like to live a day in her life. How traumatizing it must have been for her to get taken apart and put back together again, all for a drug that would only spread chaos in society.

She didn’t deserve any of that. And while they all knew that, no one could tell her that without it sounding hollow. Because they didn’t know what it was like to live in the same fear that she had felt for every single day of her life. 

Which is where you came in.

Yamada was covering his classes for the time being and you hoped no one questioned why you were also absent. 

“Yes, it’s fine.” Aizawa reassured you emotionlessly as he held open the front door for you to let you go in first. 

You stepped inside and blended in with those that milled about the hospital, following Aizawa until you came to a stop in front of a quarantined area. Inside a room, sat a little girl on the hospital bed. 

Your jaw dropped. “Is that—”

“Yes.” Aizawa answered without looking as he signed off on the agreement given to him by the police officers stationed by the door. 

After hearing from Holly when you had your playdate together and seeing how you interacted with any kids you came across, he was hoping that your energetic presence would help bring this traumatized little girl out of her shell. 

“She’s been through a lot, hasn’t she?” You asked quietly as you watched Eri fumble with the bandages on her arms and legs, your eyes shining with tears at how clearly it was stressing her out. 

Aizawa sighed under his breath, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“That would be an understatement.” He mumbled.

And that was with only having a fraction of an idea of what had happened to her.

Aiawa motioned for the nurse in the room trying to feed the reluctant girl to step out and she did so with zero hesitation.

“How is she today?” He asked her once she closed the door and you looked around both of them so that you could observe Eri. 

The nurse’s gaze was sympathetic but it was clear she was at her wit’s end. “She’s stable and her quirk has not activated once, but she still refuses to eat anything. I’m not sure how much longer we should hold out, I think we should tube feed her unless her vitals are going to drop.”

“Let me try.” You piped up, an usually serious expression stark on your normally friendly features.

You glanced to your dad for approval but Aizawa merely nodded and after the nurse confirmed that it was alright for you to go inside so long as he was with you, she ushered the two of you in while she monitored things from outside.

Careful not to startle Eri, you knocked lightly before announcing yourself and coming in. She looked terrified at an unknown face but you didn’t blame her one bit, remembering what it was like when Ojiro first rescued you. 

Your heart had been filled with fear but the hand that he stretched out was warm and inviting. And you never once regretted taking it.

“Hello.” You greeted, setting down a tray of food that had one characteristic in common all around. All the food was sealed to ensure that nothing was tampered with. “Are you hungry, Eri-chan?”

She blinked up at you, staring at the food skeptically but you weren’t offended in the slightest. While you didn’t know what it was like to be exactly in her shoes, you certainly could empathize.

However, her eyes lit up with curiosity at the sight of your fluffy ears and tail. You were different from the others that came to visit and while she wondered if perhaps that was a bad sign, she couldn’t help but be in awe.

Aizawa was leaning against the door frame, watching you both. He had been in the room quite a few times during routine check-ups from the doctor and such but he never really interacted with the little girl. He wasn’t the greatest with kids, they tended to cry whenever they saw him.

Another reason why he was an underground pro where the contact with children was limited to professional interactions only. 

You tried to offer up her portion of the meal but she scurried back, her knees tucked up frightfully and you immediately let it go, drawing back to give her some space, murmuring soft reassurances.

Now Aizawa could see how you two really were similar. Abandoned by family and forced to do things you had no awareness of or couldn’t understand, it was sickening. 

“I know it’s scary.” You said quietly as you set down the spoon when she shied away from the foreign object. “I was scared too.”

Eri looked up at you with her big eyes, not daring to hope that you could understand what she had been through. Her knees trembled as she drew them up tighter to her chest for comfort.

You smiled reassuringly and kept your distance as you explained your own story, your history with dangerous people just like Chisaki and how you were healing from your own experience.

“It’s hard to trust people when you’re scared that they’re just going to do the same things that those scary people put you through, but trusting that guy,” You pointed over your shoulder to where Aizawa was standing. “Was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.”

Eri blinked owlishly. “R-Really?”

Her small voice came out so fragile and shaky that you had to physically stop yourself from tackling her in a hug, knowing that it would only frighten her and not comfort her like you were intending. 

“Yes,” You nodded vigorously, your tail fluffing up the barest bit to emphasize your point. “And I know you don’t know me, Eri-chan, but I’ll do everything I can to keep you safe too.”

Bit by bit, you could see something changing inside her and hesitantly, she reached for the metal utensil, halting in place before she touched it and looked up at you for permission.

“You’re safe here.” You whispered softly, motioning that it was okay. “You can eat as much as you want.”

This time, Eri tentatively took the spoon and balancing the bowl carefully in her hands, she gazed at it curiously.

You were ecstatic at her progress. You didn’t think she would drop her walls around you so fast. While she looked at it, you picked up your own bowl. Showing her how to blow on the foot first so that it didn’t burn her tongue, you took a small bite, demonstrating that the food caused no harm.

Eri was timid at first, but she gradually grew more confident until she was eating with a gusto that not only surprised you, but also Aizawa.

You motioned him to come over after asking Eri if it was alright so that your dad didn’t spend the majority of his visit standing awkwardly by the wall. The little girl was hesitant but she nodded that it was okay and after a beat, Aizawa came closer. 

Once he was within arm’s reach, you scooted over to offer him a spot next to you on the bed. 

“Does it taste okay?” You asked her as your dad sat down beside you.

Eri halted, her cheeks bulging with food and she nodded slowly. Cupping her small hands around the bowl, she took in the heat.

“It’s… warm.” She said softly and your heart broke in two.

Sniffling, you managed a wobbly smile for her. “I’m glad.”

You were going to rip Chisaki a new one if he ever got within a ten mile radius of her again. 

Eri polished off her food in a little under an hour, her swollen stomach not quite used to taking in food so rich with nutrients and you fought to keep your tail from lashing back and forth angrily at all she had been through. 

Aizawa collected the empty bowls, placing them back on the tray and giving it back to the nurse outside monitoring Eri’s progress while you played with the little one.

Lowering your head, you let the tips of your ears brush across her cheeks, evoking a small giggle from the little girl as she latched onto them with her fingers, being gentle not to pull on them. 

Eri kicked her feet up and even though she didn’t smile, you could see it in her eyes; a light that wasn’t present before.

“They’re fuzzy...” She trailed off quietly before hastily retracting her hands, her gaze dropping down to her lap.

Your eyes softened understandingly at her reaction and you were careful not to move any closer. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Eri still flinched as you drew back slightly to give her some breathing room and you bit your lip to contain the snarl threatening to spill onto your face from where her hands trembled fearfully.

“I’m not going to hit you.” You told her gently, careful to be as soothing as you could to put her at ease. 

Aizawa was watching attentively from the doorway to give you both some space while you calmed her down, ready to erase her quirk if need be but so far so good.

“People hurt me too.” You whispered softly, rolling up your sleeves to show her the multitude of scars on your arms. “And I don’t know why or what I did wrong. But things get easier.”

You smiled encouragingly when she looked up at you, as though she was asking for permission to touch them and outstretching it slowly so you didn’t startle her, you let out a shaky breath as her fingertips barely skimmed over the marred skin.

Reminders of where you came from.

“Eri-chan.”

The little girl looked up at you as you gazed at her imploringly.

“I can’t promise that you’ll feel okay all the time, but when you’re ready, I’d like to show you what the world outside looks like.” You offered, standing up and curling your tail around your hip to beckon to her. 

Eri’s ruby-red orbs glistened and she swallowed hard. “Will... Will you be there?”

You nodded reassuringly. “For as long as you want me there.”

“I-I—” Eri looked down, struggling with what she wanted to say and you gave her a moment to collect her thoughts. 

The hospital gardens were nothing extraordinary but it would beat this room with white-washed walls everywhere you looked. A pop of color would be good for her soul and you hoped the fresh air would steady her heart.

You held out your hand, letting it be known that she didn’t have to go if she didn’t want to, the unspoken sentiment hanging in the air from where you regarded her empathetically. “What do you say, Eri-chan?”

She hesitated and for a beat, you weren’t sure what she was going to decide. But then she raised her head, her eyes shining with something that vaguely resembled determination and you smiled as her small hand slipped into yours.

“... Okay.”

Two months had passed by since then.

Eri had been moved out of the hospital and since Aizawa was the only one who could keep that quirk of hers under control until she learned how to do it herself, he was granted temporary guardianship of her. 

The authorities had entrusted her to UA but on paper, she was his foster child for the time being. 

Just like you had been, once upon a time.

Togata and Midoriya made the transition back into civilization easier for Eri, though the first week she wouldn’t leave their sides unless it was with you. You three were the ones she trusted the most. 

Though, Aizawa came really close.

You suspected it had something to do with the small cream-colored teddy bear he bought for her while walking past the hospital gift shop on your way out that first day he brought you to see her.

They always sold things to help comfort patients during their stay and while he hesitated buying it, he ended up getting it anyway and giving it to her during her last week at the hospital so that she would have something to hold at night. 

Eri had looked confused and it was almost funny how Aizawa tripped over his words trying to explain to her that he had bought this girl, who he didn’t know and wasn’t related to, a stuffed animal to bring her comfort because he was worried about her. 

You, and even Shinsou, teased that he was such a softie, earning both of you a towel to the face after training at his house. 

It was hours after school had let out and the sun was just starting to set. 

Most students had already gone back to the dormitories. You had promised Ojiro to stop by his room before you went to bed when you got back and with that, you two parted ways.

Aizawa had taken you and Shinsou to his flat for training once you sprinted into the teachers’ lounge where both of them were waiting for you, along with Eri. Even though all the teachers had their own dorm, courtesy of the principal, he had already paid off the mortgage on the flat and he was not keen on selling it for a number of reasons. 

Besides, Vlad King was allergic to cats so it wasn’t like he could just take Coffee with him.

So, while he lived in the teachers’ dorm, he went to his flat on the weekends and on their days off. 

Aizawa dodged his student’s punch with a slight smirk. “Too slow.”

You were in the corner of the training arena inside of his house, playing tea party with Eri in the corner. 

Aizawa had bought her a truckload of toys to entertain herself with so that she could bring things to keep herself busy when he was teaching at school. Luckily, she wasn’t fussy at all so it had taken barely any time to pick out what to buy.

Though you suggested it might have been a bit unnecessary to purchase nearly half the store.

It didn’t matter. Eri had been ecstatic once she had been told that these new toys were all hers to play with. Aizawa had to reassure her over and over again that yes, they really were hers and no, he didn’t particularly care if she broke something or decided that she didn’t want it.

She was honestly so careful in handling the neat little gadgets and play sets that he couldn’t even envision her breaking something.

You ignored the grunts and taunts coming from the middle of the room as the Shinsou and your dad sparred, flicking your tail to tickle the tip of Eri’s nose and she giggled, beaming widely at you when you exaggerated an eye roll when a thump reverberated through the ground as Shinsou was knocked onto his feet.

Eri had smiled for the first time at the school festival and you roped Midoriya into teaching you how to make candied apples so you’d always be prepared if she ever got up the courage to ask you for one directly. 

For now, you were just content to have some on hand whenever she came to Heights Alliance when Aizawa needed to put out yet another fire that Bakugou set off with his explosion.

While you and Eri were playing, Shinsou was practicing his hand-to-hand combat with his mentor but every time he struck, Aizawa was always one step ahead of him. Sweat beaded on his forehead and he wiped it off with a grimace before doubling back to strike again. 

Aizawa maneuvered out of range easily, shoving him flat onto his back.

“Concentrate, Toshi.” He urged strictly and the teen slammed a fist on the ground in frustration before popping back up to his feet and coming at him again. 

It had taken a while for Eri to get comfortable watching them spar, always worried that someone would get hurt but you had explained that Aizawa was helping her unofficial brother get stronger.  

Shinsou hadn’t necessarily been taken to the idea of being someone she looked up too, it was too much pressure. He never had to be an older brother to anyone and you didn’t count since you were the same age as him. 

Eventually, he warmed up to the idea, though he never told Eri that and he always denied it whenever Aizawa asked him straight out with a knowing smirk on his face. 

Eri could be very persuasive when she wanted to, with her doe eyes and bright, blinding smiles that could disarm All Might himself.

Cute.

Shinsou huffed at his mentor’s impromptu rebuttal, redoubling his efforts to be able to land one hit on him before this round was over. Moving faster and faster until they both became a blur, he measured each strike and kick until his burning limbs were shrieking for him to stop.

“C’mon, Toshi, hit Dad where it hurts!!” You egged on from the sidelines and Eri threw her hands up excitedly. 

“You can do it, Papa!!” She cheered. 

She had gradually grown more and more comfortable calling him that, it took almost no time at all after hearing you call him that. But you all figured she deserved to have a loving father figure after all she had been through so no one teased her about it. 

Even Monoma was surprisingly docile when it came to the little girl whenever you guys ran into him in the hallways.

Aizawa smiled slightly at the little girl’s encouragement but never took his eyes off of his student. Blocking his fist, he stepped closer, sweeping his leg at his feet, which Shinsou was able to dodge just in time. 

“That won’t work on me twice!!” Shinsou shouted.

Hooking his foot around the elder’s ankle the second he landed firmly on his feet, Shinsou yanked him down to the floor and he landed hard.

His breath knocked clear out of his lungs, Aizawa coughed a couple of times before flashing his student a proud grin.

“Good job.”

The rare praise was curt but it transformed the expression on Shinsou’s face into one of unbridled happiness that was rare and far in between to see. He didn’t say anything but he couldn’t stop the smile from spreading from ear to ear as his mentor acknowledged his victory. 

“Alright, way to go, Toshi!!” You cheered alongside Eri.

“Toshi-nii, Toshi-nii, Toshi-nii!!” Eri exclaimed repeatedly in that soft voice of hers as she scrambled forward onto the training mat, raising her hands up as an indicator that she wanted to be picked up. “You won!!”

Shinsou bent down to pick her up, bouncing her on his hip a few times in the way that he knew made her laugh, poking her on the nose and grinning when she scrunched it up cutely.

“I did.” He boasted, puffing out his chest ever so slightly to make him appear manlier and you sputtered out laughing at how ridiculous he looked, to which he shot you a glare.

Eri’s eyes were shining. “You were so cool!!”

“Hey,” Aizawa frowned, feigning disappointment as he patted the back of his sweaty neck with a clean towel. “What about me?”

“Dad’s acting like a child again.” You commented as you handed him a glass of water you had previously gotten from the kitchen when you heard their fight going on. 

On the way to the training area, you had run into Eri on the way there and invited her to come along so that she wouldn’t be alone. And also so that you could play with her.

Shinsou flashed you a grin. “It’s cause I kicked his butt.”

Aizawa flicked both of your foreheads to chastise you two for such an informal tone but it was light and even though you cried out dramatically and Shinsou rolled his eyes, you knew he didn’t actually care.

Much like Asui, who you found out what happened during the USJ incident had made her have a unique understanding with her teacher, you knew when to be serious and when to push the limits of your playfulness and cause no harm to your relationship in the process. 

Eri reached out for you and you took her from Shinsou, sticking out your tongue in the process. 

“Hah!! She likes me better!!” You gloated in his face.

He rolled his eyes, wiping the sweat off of his forehead with a rag as he echoed your words from before. “You’re such a child.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am—”

“Okay, and that is the last of that.” Aizawa interrupted before you could carry on into a screaming match and then he would have to be the one to somehow get you two to stop fighting all the while calming Eri down, who would be crying cause her siblings were arguing.

Much like you, she was sensitive to loud noises and raised volumes and he couldn’t always use pats on the head with her since her interactions with Chisaki mostly consisted of—

Aizawa shook his head. He couldn’t even bring himself to say it. The things that man did to this child was horrifying. It almost made him wish he was a villain just so that he could have the satisfaction of killing him. 

But what mattered most was that Eri was out of there and that she was never going back. 

Gazing fondly as Eri petted one of your ears that you offered to her, a soft smile slipped onto his face. The two of you were damn cute. And he was so proud that he got to call you his own kids.

Sensing movement out of the corner of his eye, he quickly sidestepped Shinsou’s surprise attack, the shocked look that crossed his student’s face at his reaction time was priceless.

“C’mon kid, you can do better than that.” He smirked, balancing on his feet and drawing up his fists for another bout. “One more round before dinner.”

Shinsou nodded determinedly. “Bring it on, sensei.”

Needless to say, that one was a draw. But only because Shinsou couldn’t get out of his mentor’s headlock. 

Aizawa was too smart to fall for the brainwashing trick.

As they started to argue over who won, Aizawa clearly going to win the battle of words, you ushered Eri out of the room.

You jabbed a thumb over your shoulder as she grabbed her tea party set on the way out. “Want to help me start dinner until those two get over their ego?” 

Eri nodded eagerly even though she didn’t really understand what an ego was. All she heard was dinnertime and that meant food. 

“Yes!!” She cheered excitedly and you picked her up as she lifted her arms. 

A growl of annoyance sounded from the other room. 

“Y/N, I heard that.”

You could practically envision your dad’s glower and quickened your pace, holding in your giggles along with Eri.

It was rocky, but somehow in the midst of all the bad, you had come out with the perfect family.

#bnha #eri #erichan #aizawa #present mic #yamada hizashi #kayama nemuri #eraserhead #aizawa hurt #midnight #ojiro x reader #ojiro x reader fluff #aizawa fluff #dadzawa #bnha fanfiction #ojiro fanfiction #ojirou #ojiro mashirao #ojiro mashirao x reader #shinsou #platonic shinsou x reader #platonic aizawa x reader #shinso #my hero academia #mha #bnha ojiro #mha ojiro #bnha aizawa #aizawa shouta #protective aizawa

[silenceofthecookies]

Can I get some headcanons for Law, Zoro and Sanji with a goth girlfriend?

Hi Anon! Sure you can! Sorry this one took so long, I was really struggling to write this. I usually do a little research for fics like this, but there’s so many types of goths and for every person who says goth is something, there’s another person who says it isn’t, so I had some trouble figuring out what was true and what was not. I got a little help from a friend and now I managed to finish this! I hope you enjoy! 

Law

Law respects you for dressing the way you do. He makes his own crew wear these ugly jumpsuits and he himself can’t set foot outside of his room without at least one article of clothing that screams ‘Heart pirates’ so he has little sense of style himself. Seeing you in your dark, beautiful clothes is a nice change of view and definitely a good view.

He rather likes it. It’s not something he wants to try himself, but he thinks it’s a beautiful style on you. He can’t help but wonder what those clothes would look like with the Heart pirates jolly roger though, preferably stitched on it with yellow thread. If you let him know you’d like some branded clothes like him, he’ll arrange for something. If not, he’ll respect your decision.

Law can easily watch you in silence the whole time as you get ready in the morning. He thinks it’s fascinating to see the process, to see you change from your usual beauty to an added beauty from your style.  

He kinda likes the music as well. It’s not the kind of music he’d put on himself, but he won’t tell you to turn it off- unless you play it too loud when he’s trying to concentrate of course.

If you get people making nasty remarks about your style, their heads will be flying, literally. Law will use his powers to take their heads off and throw them as far as he can or he’ll let you if you’d like to give it a try. He knows very well you can fend for yourself, but he can’t help but interfere. He wants to make you feel like you’re safe and comfortable with him, even if it pisses you off sometimes.  

 Zoro

Zoro doesn’t mind your style at all. You remind him of Mihawk and Perona, so he’s used to it. That doesn’t mean he gets it though. Zoro is a walking fashion disaster. All clothes in his closet are picked to be comfortable and easy to move in, and he doesn’t care too much about how well they look or if they match. Sure, he may be wearing kimono’s now, which is also a style on its own, but at least kimono’s are comfortable. Zoro is a practical man, and aesthetics are lost on him.

He won’t stop you though, not at all. Even if he doesn’t get it, he thinks it looks pretty on you, and if it makes you happy, you should wear it.

If anyone bothers you about your style or insults you for it, their pants will drop to their ankles, as if by magic. It’s not though, it’s just Zoro secretly and quickly slicing their belts. Nothing harmful, but enough to get them to shut up and make them feel as stupid as they are.

If the opportunity comes up, Zoro will somewhat reluctantly introduce you to Perona and/or Mihawk. He knows it’s going to be a pain if you become friends with Perona or get along with Mihawk, but he thinks it’ll be nice for you to meet someone with the same interests, since he can’t really talk with you about that kind of stuff.

Zoro does not like the music. He’s heard it before on Kuraigana Island, it’s just not his thing. But exactly because he’s used to it already, he won’t comment on it or tell you to turn it off when you’re listening to it. He might leave the room if he doesn’t need to be there though. He can handle a few songs, but not a whole playlist.

 Sanji

What’s there not to love about a well-dressed lady to Sanji? He doesn’t care if it’s not what most people wear, Sanji loves your style and the confidence with which you wear it. Sanji is a man who appreciates and understands following a certain clothing style. Let’s face it though, even if you’d be wearing rags, he’d think you were beautiful, but he genuinely does like your aesthetic.

Sanji would be up for trying your style for at least one day, if that’s something you’d like to see him do. He’d love the attention you’d give him as you pick out his outfit and get him ready. If it’s something you like to see him in, he’ll wear it every now and then, if only to make you smile.

Though he’s not a huge fan of the music himself, Sanji won’t mind it if you put it on. He can respect many types of music and he can see the appeal of it. He’ll gladly listen to a few songs with you. Music taste often tells books about the person listening to it and Sanji wants to know every little detail about you, after all. Just holding you while listening together almost makes him like the music.

Most people who disrespect you, or your style, while Sanji is around will face a hard kick in the face. If it’s a woman though, he’ll opt for telling them off, and pointing out just how rude they’re being. Even if it’s for your sake, Sanji really doesn’t want to hurt a woman but if they hurt you first? Then surely they can handle a little scolding.

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