#like some people hold memories some hold trauma etc etc | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

salbei-141 · 2 months

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My girl (Wanda x reader)

Masterlist

word count: 1.2k

warnings: 18+, fluff, comfort, friends to lovers, trauma, death, love confession, etc.

a/n: woah, first post of the year...almost 5 months into the year...wbk a schedule doesn't exist here.

So, there were a few things that made me realise I was bi and Elizabeth Olsen was one of them - can you blame me? So I propose this!

Also, y'all please if I get any lore incorrect do not come for me, I haven't watched Marvel in a while, and nor can I be bothered to rewatch them either, SUE ME.

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You and Wanda were best friends and had grown up together in Sokovia - your home country destroyed by the supposed American hero Tony Stark himself. You remember it as clear as day - being huddled between Wanda and Pietro. None of you moved, still as day, and terrified - it was a kind of fear you'd hope you'd never have to experience again. You remember the cries of Wanda as you held onto each other - you were just children at the time, it was a diabolical event to be forced to endure.

To this day you were unsure of what happened to your parents - you could only assume the same had happened to them as had happened to the Maximoff's parents, but you couldn't say for definite, and it weirdly gave you some sort of peace not knowing the brutality of how they had died - although you'd hoped it was quick and succinct in nature.

You were all in your 20s now, and yet not a year had gone by since that day where you'd forgotten the trauma of it all - it weighed upon your shoulders day in and day out like a parasite. What followed the bombing wasn't any better…you were mutants - or at least that's how some people had described you. You felt stronger now though - it felt freeing almost, there was little to fear now. However, nothing could save you from the memories…you, Wanda and Pietro still fell victim to your childhood trauma - especially Wanda.

"Wanda?" you walked into her room tentatively after hearing the soft sounds of her cries - it tore your heart into two, knowing the pain she was in, and more so that she was enduring it alone was hurting you in an indescribable manner that you always felt upon seeing her in any severity of distress.

She was led on her bed curled up like a child clutching onto a teddy you'd got for her Christmas several years ago - it warmed your heart that she still held it so closely and for comfort. You watched as her head turned slightly - her eyes were red and slightly puffy, but she said nothing to you as you stood at the door.

You closed her door silently and moved towards her tentatively as you sat on the side of her bed staring down at her with soft eyes. Moving your hand, you gently carded your fingers through her auburn locks, watching as tears silently rolled down her reddened cheeks.

You remained sat at the edge of her bed, and gently beckoned her into your arms, "Come here, I got you". Instead, she pulled you further onto her bed, so the both of you could get comfortable before she then sunk into the comfort of your arms as she continued to cry into your chest. You moved slightly to adjust to a more comfortable position with her in your arms, and felt as her grip tightened, "I'm not going anywhere…I'll never leave you Wanda". She looked up at you with desperate eyes, "Never?". "Never", you confirmed and kissed her on the forehead as you pulled her against your chest again, holding her with a conviction that you'd only ever designate to her.

You don't know how long had gone by, but Wanda still lay in your arms, having calmed down now. You had been gently running your fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp, feeling as she'd occasionally shiver from your touch.

"Y/N?"

She looked up from your chest with those round, soft eyes that made you cave to her every request.

"Hm?"

You looked back down meeting her gaze, watching as she searched your eyes.

"Thank you."

Tucking a strand of her hair that had fallen across her face back behind her ear, you smiled softly, speaking in a whisper almost, "I'd do anything for you".

"I know", and she stared at you just adoringly as you had been staring at her - neither of you quite aware of the emotions that had transgressed the platonic relationship you both maintained - fearful of losing one another over the looming prospect of an unrequited love. How naive you both were.

You let your hand linger on the side of her face - never having drawn back once her hair had been tucked. Your fingers delicately caressed her cheek - feeling the way it warmed under your touch.

You watched intently as her eyes flickered between your eyes and lips. Should you? You didn't know, scared to ruin things and lose your best friend, but she was also the woman you'd grown to love - she was more than your friend, and she knew that too - you'd both been yearning for this for years – too naïve to notice one another’s loving gazes.

"please", her voice was quiet, meek almost, but you could hear the plead in her voice.

Her eyes looked into your own – begging for your attention, and that's when you'd had enough, you leaned forward – teasingly stopping just before her lips.

“Promise me…promise me we won’t go back to just friends after this…please Wanda”, you searched her eyes for any doubt, and you couldn’t identify anything – her pupils were dilated as she stared into your eyes.

Wanda closed the gap between the both of you, catching you off guard while you’d awaited an answer, but this was the best way she could’ve answered you. Her lips were soft and you were quick to respond to her. You could still taste the remnants of salt from her tears, which had been long forgotten as the both of you were entrenched in one another.

It was euphoric - the way her lips moved along with yours - it was better than any dream you'd ever had about her; the days you’d deafly listen to her as she’d speak in front of you, only for you to have been too busy watching the way her lips moved as she spoke, before turning into a grin as she’d realise you’d been in a word of your own.

You let your hand drift from her face down her arm – feeling the way her skin goose-bumped as your supple touch passed over the exposed skin of her arm until you rested it on her waist as she kept herself steady with her hands wrapped in your shirt.

A soft moan reverberated in her throat as you lightly gripped her waist more – a smirk plastering your face as you continued kissing her.

The both of you slowly pulled away fluttering yours open. Nothing was said as you both smiled at each other before falling into a fit of giggles as she buried her face in your chest and you in the nape of her neck.

“We’re idiots”, she mumbled against you, as she gently lifted her face to meet yours again – both laying against her pillows with little space separating you.

“I love you”, you couldn’t hold it in any longer as it blurted out of you. She knew you meant it – you’d never looked so serious about anything as you did now.

She leaned forward pressing her lips to yours again, “I love you too…I love you so much Y/N”.

You both stared into each other’s eyes – soft gazes lingering as you gently stroked her waist with your thumb.

“Now you can really never leave me”, she smiled at you – referencing your earlier comment back to you.

“I never planned on it anyway”, you pressed a kiss to her forehead, bringing her close to your chest as her arms wrapped around you. "My girl", you whispered into her ear hearing her hum in content as you proceeded to lay in each other’s hold in silence with the occasional kiss – the reality a surreal eutopia that you’d both thought unlikely.

#fem reader #wlw #fluff #fanfic #wanda maximoff #wanda x you #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff fanfiction #marvel #avengers #mcu #lesbian #bisexual #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen x y/n #wanda x y/n #wanda x fem!reader

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tremendouslyburningrebel · 6 months

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syskid terms

We were recently looking through the kid terms made by primirly @systemtermz and @syskid-terms-archive and some other blogs that made syskid terms so we diced to putt them all in one place so that we could find them easier and thought that peple might like this post so that they can find them more easier - plush

were a bit late with updating who coined what so thank you for you patience (we had to work a lot and had a birthday so thats why it took so long) also thank you for the people that let us know that not all terms where made by systermz -plush

(also please let us know if we forgot any to put any terms on here)

(updated on 29/12/2023)

terms made by @systemtermz

Dinosaurkid

A young Headmate who holds trauma related to being forced to fit in.

Turtlekid

A young headmate that holds isolation related trauma.

Sharkkid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to childhood mental illness and suicidal ideation.

Cabbitkid

A young alter that holds trauma related to medical neglect.

Pangolinkid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to trafficking

(Baby) Shoebillkid

A young alter that holds trauma/memories/feelings related to being unwanted.

Lovebirdkid

A young alter who holds trauma related to their parents fighting all of the time.

Slothkid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to being called “lazy” or “slow” and told that they aren’t trying hard enough or doing enough or never feeling like enough for people.

They can be very self conscious and may hold things like imposter syndrome or feel the need to get things right first try.

Foalkid

A young alter who holds therapy related trauma

Whalekid

A young headmate that holds cultural trauma. This can include being disconnected from your culture (forcefully or naturally), your culture dying, being persecuted because of it, etc.

Fishkid

A young headmate who holds racial trauma.

Snakekid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to being disabled.

Ratkid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to foster care/adoption.

Squirrelkid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to car accidents.

Pikakid

A young Headmate who holds trauma related to watching someone be murdered.

This doesn’t have to be IRL or real, it could be related to shock sites/video or being a very young kid and watching a horror movie without understanding what it is.

Mousekid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to RAMCOA

Sealkid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to being in a cult.

Ravenkid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to parental neglect.

Cardinalkid

A young headmate who hold trauma related to loss/grief/mourning.

Raccoonkid

A young headmate who has multiple -kid labels/holds multiple traumas.

Lambdoekid

A young headmate who holds familial religious trauma.

Lambswankid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to sexual religious trauma.

PuppyKittenKid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to a school related injury and the medical and neglect trauma that came after.

Lionkid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to the bodies parents living vicariously through their child.

Orcakid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to being forced to be a parent or therapist to ones parents.

Foxkid

Foxkid is a young headmate who holds trauma related to strict parents and needing to be sneaky

Penguinkid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to sex work.

Moosekid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to growing up with chronic pain.

Ferretkid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to having your emotions ignored and/or invalidated.

Parrotkid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to being called a spoiled brat.

Wormkid

Flag is meant to be redesigned if desired

A young headmate that holds trauma related to failed suicide attempts.

Jackalopekid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to not being believed, being called a liar, and/or being told that their trauma was not real or not that bad.

Loch Ness (kid/alter)

An alter who holds trauma related to having photos taken of them, usually forcefully/without consent. This can make them afraid of/nervous for photographs and videos.

Axokid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to physical abuse. This can cause them to be incredibly distrusting, flinch often, and hide.

Dovekid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to experiencing or witnessing violence, like war or domestic abuse.

Frogkid

A young headmate who prefers to be outside rather than inside due to trauma.

Butterflykid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to neurodivergence

Pupkid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to school/education, including bully’s.

Bearkid

A young Headmate who holds trauma related to being poor, including food and housing insecurities.

Dragonkid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to being “parentified”/having to take care of younger siblings.

terms by @syskid-terms-archive

Énbarrkid

An énbarrkid is a term under whalekid, meaning a syskid/system little who holds trauma related to being disconnected from their Irish culture

Joeykid

A joeykid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to natural disasters in any way and/or the loss surrounding them

Selkiekid

A selkiekid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to conspiracy theories, conspiracy theory cults, dark web conspiracy theories, etc

Jackalkid

A jackalkid is a syskid who holds trauma related to losing a family member in a manner unrelated to death. This term is related to and may be considered a subset of cardinalkid

Examples include but are not limited to: loss due to distance, abandonment, cut contact, etc

Lemurkid

A lemurkid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to being lied to by family members. May be used as a subset of labels such as doekid (our doekid post is currently down)

Goosekid

A goosekid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to moving, which may be used in conjunction with other terms. Examples include but are not limited to: moving due to job insecurity, natural disaster, military, foster care, etc

Yorkiekid

A yorkiekid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to having body modifications against their will or without their consent. This may be considered a subset of other terms

Leopardcrowkid

A combination of leopardkid and crowkid, a leopardcrowkid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to financial abuse or trauma following a divorce.

This includes but is not limited to: child support issues, manipulation via finances, one parent keeping the other in a poor financial situation, etc

Ferretkid

A ferretkid is a syskid/system little that has trauma related to eating disorders. This is not confined to any specific eating disorder(s) or aspect(s) of them

Clownfishkid

A clownfishkid is a syskid/system little that holds any sort of trauma related to gender. This includes but is not limited to: dealing with dysphoria, transphobia, misogyny, forced gender roles, etc

Wolfkid

A wolfkid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to siblings. Can be considered a subset of doekid

Includes but is not limited to: sibling abuse, being neglected in favor of sibling(s), loss of sibling(s), etc

Antkid

An antkid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to feeling powerless. This includes but is not limited to system related feelings, feeling as if they have no control or power over their life, etc

Spiderkid

A spiderkid is a syskid/system little who holds trauma related to torment. This is similar to bullying found in pupkid, however it is not confined to school related things

Crowkid

A crowkid is a syskid/system little who holds any sort of financial trauma. This may overlap with bearkid, though also includes but is not limited to: financial abuse, robbery, financial restrictions, etc

Salamanderkid

A salamanderkid is a syskid/system little who holds trauma related to emotional neglect. Can be considered a subset of bunnykid

Puffinkid

A puffinkid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to emotionally incestuous relationships. May be considered a subset of doekid

Dragonflykid

A dragonflykid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to BDSM in any way. This is considered a subset of swankid

Fawnkid

TW: grooming mentions

A fawnkid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to grooming/being groomed, often developing an unhealthy view or relationship with adults. May or may not be considered a subset of other terms

Mothkid

A mothkid is a syskid/system little who holds trauma related to executive dysfunction, insomnia, and/or fatigue

Batkid

A batkid is a syskid/system little that holds fear/trauma/anxiety/etc related to constant bad dreams or nightmares

Dolphinkid

A dolphinkid is a syskid/system little who holds trauma related to Munchausen syndrome by proxy (MSBP)

Beekid

TW drug use mentions

A beekid is a syskid/system little that holds drug related trauma. This includes but is not limited to: family drug issues, watching someone OD, underage drug use, addiction, etc

Rainfrogkid

A rainfrogkid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to glass children/being a glass child

A glass child is a sibling of a kid(s) with disabilities, often causing them to be neglected while their caregivers are more focused on the kid(s) with higher support needs

Elephantkid

An elephantkid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to verbal and/or emotional abuse. This often related to the kind of abuse where threats of harm and/or death become “the norm” or part of daily life

Budgiekid

A budgiekid is a syskid/system little who holds trauma related to ex-partners. This label may be used in conjunction with other labels, such as bunnykid, mantiskid, swankid, etc.

Polarbearkid

A polarbearkid is a syskid/system little who holds trauma related to being locked in their room, outside, in a closet, etc. May or may not be considered a subset of bunnykid

Capykid

A capykid is a syskid/system little who has trauma related to toxic friends, often being forced into a sort of “pet” role within a group

Cattlekid or Calfkid

A cattlekid/calfkid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to cancer, having cancer, cancer treatment, etc

Eelkid

An eelkid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma unknown to others/nobody knows what trauma they hold

Tortoisekid

A tortisekid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to losing friends, perhaps feeling isolated as a result

Leopardkid

A leopardkid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to parents divorcing or being divorced, as well as anything else related

Ducklingkid

A ducklingkid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to COCSA. May be considered a subset of swankid

Crockid

A crockid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to childhood psychosis and/or psychotic disorders

Cuckookid

A cuckookid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to being separated from their parents and being brought up by an unsafe guardian(s)

Pheonixkid

TW: suicide and s/h mentions

A pheonixkid is a syskid/system little that holds trauma related to self harm, suicide attempts, and/or the aftermath of said topics

Mantiskid

A mantiskid is a system little that holds trauma related to gaslighting, victim blaming, being a scapegoat, or anything similar

Pantherkid

Pantherkid is a system little that holds trauma related to CPD/DCFS/CPS or other similar organizations

Owlkid

An owlkid is a system little that holds any trauma related to the internet.

Examples include but are not limited to: online abuse, shock sites, seeing nsfw or nsfl material as a kid, etc

Chameleonkid

TW: suicide mentions

A chameleonkid is a system little who holds trauma related to others committing suicide or having to prevent a suicide

made by @doelike

Catkid

A young Headmate who holds medical/health related trauma, making them more scared/anxious of medical related things like shots, checkups, and dentistry.

Doekid

A young headmate that holds any kind of family trauma, which effects their behavior by making them more attached to or repulsed by familial figures.

Swankid

A young headmate who holds mature trauma, usually sexual trauma

made by @fabledlands

Lambkid

A young headmate who holds trauma related to religion.

made by @closedcaskets

Bunnykid

A young headmate who hold trauma related to abandonment and/or neglect, making them either easily trusting or easily distrusting, flighty or easily attached.

#osdd system #system terms #did system #plural system #anti endo #endos dni #traumagenic system

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spopsalt · 15 days

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Hey, to Stolas stans who are okay with Stolas and can forgive what he did (Even though only Blitzo can do that since he's the victim of Stolas abuse) Forgive him then

Oh you can't? Why not? Oh you aren't a victim of his abuse? According to you, you can forgive someone if you aren't a victim of their abuse.

He's a horrible person? So is Stolas. Both of them have trauma and according to you, having trauma means you are completely innocent and can do no wrong. Rick has seen his wife and child brutally die in front of him, and is implied to have an unhealthy relationship with his father and a desperate need for his approval. Stolas had an abusive wife and his father was neglectful, both of them have trauma.

Both of them have a strained relationship with their father, with Rick it's implied with him desperately wanting his father's approval in season 2 episode 3,and with Stolas we can see that his father is neglectful in season 2 episode

ALSO this shouldn't even matter but sadly I'm sure it does to some people, they are both a part of the LGBTQ+ community. Rick is pansexual and Stolas is gay.

Both seem to have depression,with Stolas I don't think there was anything showing it? But the fandom seem to interpret him as having depression. Rick has been shown multiple times to be miserable and hates himself a lot. We even see him attempt suicide in season 2 episode 3.

Both have shown that they care about their victims in their own way, *cough* even that doesn't make their abuse okay *cough* With Stolas its mostly told to us instead of shown. Like Blitzo states that Stolas likes his posts and laughs at his jokes, and Rick has, hold on a minute *pulls out list* ahem, comforted Morty after he was nearly assaulted in a bathroom, and killed the person who attempted it, was happy when he saw Morty, cried when he saw memories of baby Morty, sacrifice his life for Morty, was jealous when Morty had someone else as his hero, sacrificed his life for Morty (Nope, not a mistake, he did that twice), shielded Morty from bullets, encouraged Morty to leave to save himself when both of their lives were at risk, gave Morty his lab coat to keep him warm when both we're freezing, made a robot with the purpose of making Morty happy, etc., etc. Soooo what's the problem?

Ohhhh right. The show ACKNOWLEDGES that he's in the wrong, and that what he's doing IS abuse and shows the effects of Rick's abuse on Morty in Fear No Mort, while they don't do that with Stolas, ohhh I get it now.

#Helluva Boss Critical #Anti Helluva Boss #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss salt

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metalheads-trash-bin · 4 months

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What are your trolls hc if you have any?

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING

1. John Dory has OCD, i feel that brought a lot of issues and it had a lot to do with why he behaved how he did when he was younger. A lot of people have this head canon!

2. If Creek survived, he would be redeemable and I do truly believe he holds guilt and regret. In some stuff from the trolls art concepts he seems a lot sadder about what he’d done, and theres a few deleted scenes - one being where if chef didn’t die shed “clean dishes with his head as a rag” and showed a drawing of her using his body as a handle and his head as a cleaner. I also think Creek had a lot more going on internally (you can check my analysis rant about him for more detail!).

3. Branch absolutely suffers from chronic depression, no matter how happy he is the effects never fully go away. At the end of band together his colors were diluted even though he was happy, that most likely being because the reunion brought up a lot of buried trauma.

4.Floyd is no better depression wise, his ears are downturned permanently the same as his. I believe at some point during the separation he had an intense bout of depression and grief, especially since he’s labeled as “the sensitive one”.

5. Poppy and Viva have some sort of audhd. Both of then can be seen stimming, having trouble keeping attention spans, and fixating on certain things,

6. King peppy has dementia or some sort of memory issue, in a deleted scene it’s revealed that he does. He forgets who poppy is and even who he is, having a lapse in memory and even asking poppy who king peppy is.

7. I do of course also have a bunch of ship pairings I enjoy, and a lot of them are based on head canons and perceptions of the characters. And i have some head canons of sexualities, gender, etc..but! That would most likely be a separate post as that can be controversial for this community :’)

8. I believe that trolls of all kinds would slowly explore and live in eachother’s genres, some even starting families there.

Those are just what I can think of off the top of my head <3

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arceespinkgun · 10 months

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I really appreciate that Earthspark is unique and holds up amazingly well as its own thing, but is also constantly in dialogue with other parts of the franchise. I couldn't help thinking about Sari from TFA when I was watching Mo and Robby in the newest Earthspark episodes.

Remember when Sari, feeling like she kept being left behind despite being a key part of the team, upgraded herself and then lost control and stabbed Bumblebee, and the only way to stop her from her rampage was for the Autobots to shut down most of her upgrades? It reminded me of how Robby did something similar, throwing himself into combat, trying to be more adult (despite only being thirteen), and then dying (!) and becoming extremely ill when Mo brought him back to life.

I was thinking about how I was shocked when I saw Sari's rampage and was really interested in seeing, you know... how she felt about everything that had happened. Maybe she wouldn't be in a rush to grow up after all of that. Maybe she and Bumblebee and the rest of their friends would have lingering trauma from this experience—Ratchet was having PTSD flashbacks while operating on Bumblebee!

But no. None of that happened. Once Sari's upgrades were mostly deactivated, we got one scene with her unconscious with her father worrying about her... and none of this was explored any further. Sari became less and less prominent, her feelings about this situation were not addressed, and we never got to learn much more about her. Her origin supposedly would have been revealed by season 5 (not even 4!!!) which never happened, and the creators have been cagey about it ever since the show ended.

Compare this to Earthspark. After what happens to Robby when he uses his new Cyber-sleeve powers, we get to see the horrified reactions of his entire family. The next episode's premise is about searching for a cure to his illness. The episode after that is all about Mo's trauma from this situation, and we get to see an exploration of adultification and how unfair Mo feels life has been to her and her family. Her parents are struggling just as much even though they're not the focus, but it's clear how worried they are for their children.

I've seen some people think the pacing is too fast in Earthspark, but I'm glad it followed-up on all these themes so quickly. I've also seen people understandably be disturbed—like Dot and Alex were—by the fact that Mo is nine and yet was chosen by a Prime. But I think the truth is that this connects to real life. Life sucks and is exhausting for marginalized kids like Mo. The reason she saw all those "messed-up memories" was to see how life isn't fair, it isn't predictable, and bad things will happen no matter what, but compassion and a desire to be there for the people you love still matters and helps preserve joy and positive aspects that could otherwise be lost. I think that's what Quintus Prime meant when he said the power was always inside of her, and that's why her battle with Mandroid was in the mental/spiritual plane. This is why Mo is the "Legacy of hope" along with Robby, and why the powers she and Robby have were not taken away like Sari's were—they symbolize the qualities the Malto kids have always had.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that since their powers are similar, the Cyber-sleeves look similar to Sari's robotic palms and arms, they're all South Asian kids, they went through similar trauma and adultification, Mo and Sari are both nine, etc. I was really happy to see Earthspark take the time to explore all of that in-depth after it was brought up, while TFA didn't really and lost its chance.

#earthspark spoilers #transformers earthspark #transformers animated #TFA #my analysis #Mo Malto #Sari Sumdac #Robby Malto #long post #my gifs

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alilaro · 1 year

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I have some Thoughts on Evangelion, and I'm hyperfixating right now, so here's a massive info-dump on it. Thank you and I'm sorry.

(trigger warnings for: child abuse, child death, gore mention, pedophilia, mental health, depression, suicide, and potentially more.)

———————————————→

So, my take on the End Of Evangelion is like a 'Worst Timeline AU.' So what would've happened if Shinji had given into the crippling (justified) trauma and deepest depression of an abused, manipulated, and unfathomably damaged child soldier.

The way Misato constantly screams at him throughout the entire series to 'be a man' and pressures him to get into the EVA and fight literal biblical, kaiju-like angels.

The pressure of trying and failing to get a crumb of praise or approval from his neglectful and spiteful father.

The way people (and fans, tbh) get upset with him for constantly changing his mind. How if he doesn't pilot the EVA, either he or his friends could die. The pressure every adult puts on him. Or again, the absolute cosmic terror of just seeing—let alone having to murder these angels.

Of course, he quits all the time, he's 14. He's a child. An average adult with all the combat training in the world would easily do the same.

Yet he comes back again and again, because of the guilt, the self-loathing, the manipulation of the adults around him—

(who can have all the greatest intentions in the world, "the greater good", etc etc, and it doesn't change a goddamn thing that they are putting these children into death machines and treating it like if they dont do it they are selfish and worthless)

—that if he doesn't do it, his friends will do it and either they or others will die if it's not him.

Like, the point isn't that he can't make up his mind: it's the fact that even if he "gives up", he still keeps coming back, and putting himself before others, despite the grief, despite the pain, despite the trauma

A fourteen-year-old child refuses to stop getting up and trying. Which I feel is symbolic of the whole shows entire meaning, no matter how dark things are, how much you hurt, how much others hurt you, how you feel like nothing, and you want it all to just stop—the pain, the memories, the guilt, the crushing weight of complete utter depression—even as the darkest envelops you and holds you tight, you feel like you can never escape: there is ALWAYS a way out of it.

It's fucking hard, you will lose yourself in it, you will hurt so, so much—but eventually you can find your way out. Through time, through loved ones, through therapy, and more. It's never too late or someone is too far gone in their own despair that they can't be saved and brought back.

And that's not even mentioning the other children. Fans enjoy Asuka more than Shinji because she's got that quick, snappy, high-energy personality. She's overly proud and stubborn, and she loves to fight in her EVA. And Rei, she's the shy quiet girl (a Kuudere, even (didnt like writing that)) designed to be mysterious, and to speculate over. Who is she? Why is she so calm? Does she have a personality behind that demeanor?

But, just like Shinji, they are all child soldiers, and like him, they are products of trauma and manipulation by adults.

Rei, was made in a fool-hearted attempt to bring back Shinji's mother, Yui Ikari, by combining her remains with Lilith. What they got was Rei. An assimilation of Yui, Lilith, Eva, all combining into Rei Ayanami.

Her creators obviously had attachments to her, both having loved Yui before her death, and Gendo Ikari almost took her on as a daughter-like figure (Rei being the name he would've given to his child Shinji, if he had been born a girl,) and revoltingly even more than that.

But as the theme of the series goes, good intentions from adults mean very little, and often act as nothing more than an excuse for creating/doing inconceivably monstrous acts.

She is of course used as an EVA pilot, being able to manipulate her form into a 14-year-old. She is used as a tool. She is replaceable. She knows this. She has no desires because no one has ever cared enough about Rei as her own person to let her think for herself, asked her what she wants, her likes, her dreams, her fears.

Rei's entire existence at this point is to serve, and in an eerie way, the only thing she wants is to serve Gendo, because he's shown her the only breadcrumbs of "compassion" she's ever known.

And then Shinji comes along. Shinji has no idea what she is, only that she is another EVA pilot like himself. He speaks to her as he would anyone else. He cares about her, and her well-being as another person. Actual true compassion.

In episode 06, when Rei is hurt and thought to have died by Shinji, he pries open the hatch to her EVA, ignoring the scalding heat that burns his hands to do so. He finds her alive and cries, and she smiles for him.

This scene is an exact parallel that takes place before with Rei and Gendo (Shinji's father.) He pries open the hatch, scalding his hands too, and finds her alive inside. It's identical except for one thing: Compassion.

Shinji fights to free and help Rei, and when he sees her alive, he is overcome with relief that she, Rei, is alive. He is in tears, he tells her she isn't nothing, implying her life is worth something and people care about her.

When Gendo does it, he does it like a man trying to save a valuable asset. He sees she's okay, and mutters 'I see', and that's the end of it.

Again, in episode 23, when Rei actually dies and is replaced; she is confronted by herself (the Meta Rei, the Rei in her purest, most godly self. A combination of all her sense of beings,) and realizes that she is feeling, she is lonely, she is suffering, and for the first time she cries, and asks herself if this just for her love of Gendo, before sacrificing herself in death to save everyone—specifically shinji.

She is replaced by her many clones, but this time she regains some of her memories, her feelings, her anger, and she is more human now, less vessel, more soul. She is Rei.

In the End of Evangelion, we see the depths of Gendo's depravity. He wants his wife, Yui, back as she was, of course. But in the meanwhile, there's Rei. Rei who is part Yui—a substitute. He touches her breast, an attempt to merge with her, and moves his hand down further to rest between her hips, inside her.

Rei is as much his daughter figure and a child, as she is a part of his own wife, and arises from this: an Oedipus Complex. Gendo treats her as a disposable tool, yet holds Yui at his highest priority. She is his to do with as she likes. How many times has he used her like this? How many times has he committed these atrocities with this child behind closed doors?

Amongst everything else Rei is, she is also a victim of pedophilia.

And in her final moments, while he attempts to merge with Rei in a delusional attempt to bring back Yui, Rei becomes her own being. Rei puts her foot down and says no. She's had enough.

"I will not be a puppet for you to control."

She takes the hand of Adam, fully merges with Lilith, and becomes a God.

And what does she do with all that power? She takes it all, and gives it to Shinji. The one person that ever consistently showed her care and compassion, showed her love. Made her realize she is her own person, gives her the strength to realize her worth and refuse Gendo Ikari, and choose her own path.

Her choice can be argued as good or bad, both. But in the end it was REI's choice, and no one elses.

Asuka uses her anger and her fighting as a means to cope with a barbaric childhood. Her mother, Kyoko, underwent a Contact Experiment when Asuka would have been ~5 years old.

Kyoko survived, but lost her mind completely, thinking her real daughter was actually a doll, and leaving Asuka completely neglected by her mother, all whilst begging and trying to convince her that SHE was her real daughter, not some doll she clung to.

Meanwhile, her father was completely unaffected by this, and even had moved on with another woman (An affair that had been going on before Kyoko fell apart completely, the woman being Kyoto's doctor, that she knew about, and took place in their own home while both mother and daughter were present.) Throwing himself back into his own life with this new woman, and job, Asuka was left with nothing.

Asuka's mother finally snaps and plans her own suicide. She invites Asuka, and with nothing else and wanting nothing more than to be acknowledged by anyone, agrees to take their lives together.

As if all of this isn't bad enough, as a final blow, Asuka's mother takes her own life without Asuka, leaving a five-year-old CHILD to find her mother hanging lifelessly, betrayed and alone again.

Her entire personality isn't because she's 'cool' or 'bossy', its an unfathomably traumatized child, constantly in pain and unable to trust anyone, because she has been taught as an infant that she can not rely on the people meant to care for her, because her parents taught her that in the most brutal and disturbing way possible.

There's even reference to her trying to repeat her mother's suicide after disappearing from the fight, only to be found gravely injured and withering away in a bathtub.

She fights so hard to be independent because she refuses to let herself be hurt and abandoned again.

At the End of Evangelion, even when she is screaming and crying, bleeding to death after being speared through the eye, losing power, and being cannibalized alive in her EVA, she is still so desperate, so angry, that she refuses to die, swearing vengeance on her enemies through dying rattled breaths, and it isn't until she is bombarded with blades that she finally succumbs. And at the hands of NERV.

Again, she, and every single EVA pilot, is only 14 years old.

tldr: The series is about child trauma, children being turned into soldiers, the failings of adults around them, and the tragically brutal and real aftermath of the wreaks of havoc that would have on a child.

#I had to get this out of me because the loud fanbase for this show is fucking putrid #and also im hyperfixating and needed to get that out of my system LMAO #evangelion #neon genesis evangelion #eva #end of evangelion #evangelion shinji #evangelion asuka #evangelion rei #shinji ikari #asuka langley sōryū #rei ayanami #kyoko zeppelin sōryū #saiyū langley #gendo ikari #yui ikari

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strawberryshortcake0413 · 10 months

Text

The ride

Leon Kennedy x gn!reader

warning: RE2 Leon, car crash, reader works in the health care, hospital, surgery, blood, needles, IVs, memory loss, angst, a bit mention of smut, medical diagnosis that doesn't make sense (because I wrote them), slippery road, headache, nausea etc

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"Leon? I have to go to work. The hospital is paging me" you yelled quickly grabbing your scrub and white coat from the drawer. The blonde man groaned in his sleep and sat up on the bed yawning a bit, looking at his partner. "What happened?" asked Leon getting up from the bed and starting to collect the clothes he threw on the floor last night in a hurry.

"Emergency call. I will be back as soon as I can. Eat your breakfast and no beer before you eat real food" you said sternly while tossing on your blue scrub in a hurry.

After a long night of pleasure with your boyfriend, you woke up to your pager ringing loudly on the nightstand. You got up in a hurry and quickly showered and brushed your teeth. Luckily there were very few marks in places where people couldn't see, no need to worry about your coworkers teasing you about your "activity" with your handsome boyfriend. Brushing through the hair strands Leon tangled last night, and a few of them dropped on the tiles of the bathroom. After a few minutes, you were ready to go. Waving a quick goodbye to Leon and kissing him on the cheek before running outside to start your car.

It was mid-November, and the house was covered in tiny snowflakes and they were shining in the sun. You got in the car and started driving. Your work was a bit far from your house, almost a 30-minute long ride. But if you don't hurry in an emergency, your patient might not just survive. The hospital was already short-staffed, meaning during this kind of big accident that hurt a lot of people, there wasn't a lot of chance to help all the patients. That's why all the staff of the surgery team, trauma team, residents, interns and nurses were all called. It was your break day but who needs a break when you can help people and do your job right? You loved your job so much. That's why you managed to graduate early and become someone you dreamed of since you were younger.

"You can maybe make a nice dinner for Leon after work." you thought to yourself while driving on the snowy road.

With the busy thoughts of what to do when you get to the hospital and how to arrive as soon as possible, you don't notice the little bunny on the road. Snapping out of your thoughts and looking out of the window, you see the bunny in the middle of the road. Quickly trying to stop the car you stepped on the brake pedal. But since the road was quite slippery, it just didn't. And to not hit the bunny you quickly turned the car to the right side of the road. You luckily didn't hit the small creature, but instead crashed into the trees on the side of the road hard. Losing your consciousness the last thing you see is your bloody head in the mirror.

Just as Leon opened the fridge to eat some toast with jam, his phone rang. Leon raised his eyebrows as to who could be calling him this early. His partner left for work and he got his break from the police station. Maybe it's his friends? Leon frowned and walked to his phone only to see a random number.

"Hello?" mumbled Leon to the phone.

"Hello, sir. Is this Leon Kennedy?" asked a woman's voice.

"Yes... What is it?" mumbled Leon while holding a glass of water.

"Your Partner has gotten in a car accident. This is her coworker Dr. Roxana. They are in the hospital where they work. I am sorry" said the woman.

Hearing the news Leon's heart dropped on the floor. He forgot to breathe for a moment and just stared out of the window. The sound of the glass shattering on the floor zoned Leon out of his state. Leon started at the glass and the phone for a few seconds and finally spoke.

"Are... Are they okay?" asked Leon quietly. His heart beating in his chest loud and fast enough like a drum.

"They just got out of surgery. They are in the ICU right now sir" answered the woman.

Leon nodded to himself and hung up. He has been to their hospital. Leon quickly tossed on his coat and boots and headed out of the door, almost mindlessly. His head was filled with some thoughts. "How did they get in an accident?" "Are they okay?" "What if they can't survive the injuries?" and... "What if they.. die?". The last question made Leon's head spin.

In no time Leon was standing in the corridor of the hospital following a nurse to see them. According to the nurse, his love woke up from the anaesthesia just a few minutes before he arrived.

As Leon entered the room his heart shrank. There you were. Connected to many devices and IVs that Leon doesn't even dare to count. Their face pale from the nausea. Next to you, on a chair, your friend Lily was sitting looking at him nervously.

You were staring at him curiously while Leon tried to find his words.

"Darling.. Are u... Are you okay?" cried Leon hugging you by the neck. It was quite a rare thing to see Leon crying or showing many emotions in most situations. But this was an exception. Leon had been terrified to lose you. His heart beats faster and faster as time goes by and you didn't say a single word to him.

"Who.. Are you?" you asked pushing the blonde man away from you a bit. It was surprising to see a random man walk into your room and start hugging you. Your friend Lily explained that you got in an accident on the way to work. But this was weird.

Leon stared at his partner for a moment, rethinking what you said.

"H-Honey... What are you talking about? It's me... Leon..." cried Leon trying to get closer to you. You looked at Lily a bit terrified and started to tig her shirt.

Lily furrowed her eyebrows together, trying to find a way of telling the news to Leon.

"Leon... I... Let's talk outside" mumbled Lily grabbing Leon's arm.

"No... No. What... What is going on??" choked out Leon holding back his tears from falling. In the back of his mind, Leon already knew what was coming. His heart just refused to believe it. How? How can this happen? To him? To you? But Leon followed Lily outside the room, to the hospital corridor.

"Listen, I know it's hard for you but... (You) lost their memory... Starting from 1997... Their memory is blank... They think it's 1996, August..." said Lily looking down to the floor. Lily knew how much Leon loved you and you loved him. But now there was almost no hope. She couldn't bear to see Leon's puffy eyes suffering from the news.

Leon on the other side was crying, after trying so hard not to he couldn't fight it anymore. He stood next to the wall using it as a tool to stand still. His baby blue eyes were now covered in salty tears and red from the crying. He clenched his fist blaming himself for not protecting them well. He should have gone with them.

"Is-is there not... any treatment?" asked Leon while sniffing his nose to stop crying like a small child. He hoped there was a way to give you your remembrance back. Or else he didn't know what to do. His dream of create a family with them and marry you. He didn't know if he could live without you. His love, his everything.

"The physicians said neurological damages are hard to treat... And they don't know if the treatment would be effective.." said Lily almost crying herself. It was really hard to see her friends go through something like this.

Leon broke down again but after a few minutes, he got the hold of himself and went inside your room again. You were there laying on the bed staring at the ceiling, wondering where your friend went with *him*. According to Lily, he was your boyfriend and you lost your memory. Before Leon arrived, Lily had talked to you and realized you were missing information about your life. She informed the doctors and told you about some things you forgot. Leon, what do you do now and where do you live et cetera

"Well... He did seem cute" you thought to yourself and realized Leon was now in the room. He looked like he had just been through a lot of things. Eyes were red and swollen, hair messy and he was looking at you like a mad person.

"Your name is Leon right?" you asked trying to support him.

Leon nodded slowly before sitting on the chair Lily sat in previously.

"I am sorry that you're going through something like this... But I don't think I can be the same person you knew" you murmured looking at his eyes. They were like the ocean. Calm, beautiful and mysterious.

"But.. We.. We can try later on right?? If you want" said Leon a bit anxious about the idea of letting you go.

"Well... I guess so. I.. I am not sure tho.." you mumbled having a bit of a headache from the accident and the surgery.

Leon nodded slowly and stared at the floor. He didn't want to pressure you about getting into a relationship. Hell, you now don't even know him. It took you quite a few months to date with Leon.

"Sir. Your time is up. We need to rest them" said a nurse entering the room, pushing a little tray containing many liquid bags and some small bottles with needles.

Leon looked up at the older nurse and nodded hesitantly. He wasn't sure to let you go. But if he needed to be away for you to heal, he was ready to sacrifice his selfishness. Leon held your hand for a few seconds, murmured a sad goodbye and left the room.

As he was walking out of the hospital gate, the cool breeze of November embraced Leon. All he could think about was what destiny has in store for him and you.

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Gosh.. This is so bad. But I decided to post in anyways since I wanna improve. If you notice any mistakes or just have tips let me know ♡

*the photos aren't mine. Credits to the owners*

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy fluff #leon kennedy angst #re2 leon #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy #leon kennedy smut #resident evil smut #resident evil leon

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notsosmug87 · 27 days

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Ive had this Au idea in my head for a lil while and after doing some work on it i have decided to share it with you guys.

I proudly present:

The fractured Jay Au

(Huge shoutout to the very talented @sketchalicious. not only was this drawing based off one of their own but they were also one of the biggest inspirations for this Au. Go check em out they make awesome stuff) After the ninja Recuse Jay, his entire mental state collapses from the stress of flashbacks and visions after which, he goes into a comatose state. The ninja must now enter his mind to help him wake up. There, They find not only Jay, but six different versions of him. all of which represent their own guilts and traumas as well as Jays own too. The Ninja (now separated) must fight the one that represents them most and try to get every Jay to accept themselves.

The ninja also find out about the events of skybound through this whole ordeal; In Nyas case, having to relive it while also seeing what Jay went through on the Misfortunes keep.

The idea is that, Out of every ninja Jay holds the most baggage but does not show it, instead keeping it hidden very deep in his brain and I’m tired of people pretending like he doesn’t 😔

I will now Explain them in detail. Starting with:

The chosen one "Guilt ridden"

Fun fact: According to an old blooper reel, Jay was originally gonna be the green ninja; But the writers changed it to lloyd for a better surprise. Doesn’t take away from the fact that Jay looks good in green however.

This Jay is supposed to be a Representation of Lloyd, more specifically The weight lloyd has on his shoulders. Having to be the savior of ninjago (now the merged realms) can take a toll on a person; Lloyd is also now a sensei in training which has not helped his mental state at all; eventually bound to snap one way or another. And at one point there will be a battle he cannot win no matter how hard he tries.

From jays side, TCO is supposed to be a representation of His thoughts about how he has failed Lloyd and the others on several occasions (Releasing aspherra, Prime empire, letting Nya die twice, etc.) and how he solely Blames himself for it. All his self doubts telling him he’ll never be good enough, Among other things, in the forms of Twisted/Tainted visions of the other ninja and his parents. Making him go insane and he eventually snaps, succumbing to the delusion that in order to ever be good enough for Anyone he has to take over being the green ninja. But deep down he knows that the others will always care about him no matter what.

Worst case Scenario (CC for short) “The Sacrifice"

This one’s design wasn’t based off anything too important, I just think that Kai would be the second Ninja to become Undead.

CC represents Kai’s inability to let others sacrifice for him. While Kai is a hero through and through and will do anything for his family, he’s also selfish in the way that he doesn’t want the others to do the same for him Always insisting that it should have been him instead. CC looks like someone who has sacrificed too much without letting others help them. (Bit of a stretch i know)

In terms of Jay, CC is supposed to represent Denial. His skeletal remains are the Result Of what happens to someone who thinks “it should have been me” over every situation, Someone more... Expendable. A repeating memory of Nya dying in his arms keeps playing in his head. Losing flesh and organs after sacrificing himself to Defeat the Overlord; His skeleton Gains a fraction of his power that keeps him alive. But in the end it does not matter because he couldn’t save the one person most important to him, Nya. Jay knows no matter how many “What if” Scenarios happen in his head, the past is in the past and he must look on to the future, but can’t bring himself to after the many losses he’s Endured.

Agent walker "left to rot"

Design of course was based off our very own amnesiac Jason Walker, The current Manager of the administrations realm of reassignment.

Agent Walker is Everything Zane Dreads about himself; Becoming Cold and mechanical with no emotion. Agent Walker is Essentially a repeat of the Ice emperor. A once heroic individual Who forgot themselves and Changed because of Evil influence. Zane dreaded being the ice emperor and does not want any of his family to go through what he went through. Unfortunately, Jay is already halfway there. while we do not know if Agent Walker is truly corrupt due to the administration, Jay is Very much morally Gray, As out of every Ninja his moral compass is the weakest.

Having severe abandonment issues, Agent Walker Represents Jays Fear of being Forgotten about by his family, Essentially becoming a memory. that fear is realized once he spends a long time in the administration and no one has found him yet. Hence the Tagline, “Left to rot”. Having everyone Move on without him (especially Nya) Hurts So Badly that He Forces himself to forgot about the others and hoping the pain will eventually go away. Jay of course knows that His family and Yang could never forget about him, But doubts plague his mind telling him otherwise.

The Infiltrator “No Destiny"

Based off the (now very official) Evil Jay Figure which was recently leaked. The shirt was too hard to get right for me, so I decided to use my own design for it.

The infiltrator, A Strange Figure Who wields lightning powers. Hired by lord Ras; The same person who Went for Coles second family. This adds insult to injury in terms of their friendship.

This Jay pulls the same type of act that Cole does in DotD; By Doing something as drastic as Teaming up with a person who he knows has bad intentions just to be recognized outside of his feats at the administration and to be able to freely use his powers.

Representing Coles guilt, This Jay Has cemented himself as an enemy to the ninja and no longer an ally Forcing The battle to be painful for the Ninja. Especially Cole. However this Jay is not tethered to his relationships with them and will not hold back against those who oppose his leader

(Note: Not much is known about Jays motives or really anything about his evil character in part 2. This part might be rewritten later once we get a more clear view of his character.)

The infiltrator Is a manifestation of Jays fears about him going rouge/ Evil, So far almost all of the ninja Have Gone through their Evil “phase” and eventually, Jay must walk down that path. He feels hopeless however as without his memories he feels trapped; fettered to always serving a higher power Having No destiny To achieve thus Staying evil indefinitely.

Jay of the storm "Shameful woes"

This Jays design was inspired by some of the Seabound Aus I’ve seen and read. Much like Nyas design, He has Semi-lightning shaped hair and Lightning related body marks all over. he looks like a painting to show his coping mechanism When Nya was gone; Which was painting Portraits of her and him to ease his pain.

This one’s quite simple, Even after Becoming human again, Nya still harbors guilt for what she caused her family to go through And how much her sacrifice meant to everybody in ninjago. This Jay is supposed to represent her feelings about the whole situation and showing her a different perspective; one where Jay sacrificed himself instead of her. Of course in this made up timeline, Jay thinks of his sacrifice as Meaningless compared to Nyas. Thinking that the team moves on very quickly from what happened (Yes even Nya) and it eventually gets swept under the rug.

Further from the truth, Nya tries to convince Jay that this would never be the case. her words fall on deaf ears however, as Jay continues to lament in his own self pity.

Jay of the storm Is the personification of his shame and worry about him being a bad partner and an even worse teammate; Thinking of himself as worthless and nothing more than a deadweight To his family and his Yang. He thinks this way due to his biggest mistakes and how they led to so many bad things happening. (Especially Nyas deaths.) “I wish I could sacrifice to you as much as you have for me.” Nya has done so much for him and he thinks that he has done nothing in return. So maybe sacrificing himself could make him seem all noble and heroic once and for all. But he knows that he has done incredible feats and cannot blame himself for everything bad that has happened in their lives.

Nya will always love him And He’ll always love her, no matter how much the universe wants to seperate them they'll find each other eventually.

??? “Fractured beyond repair”

This design was based off The common trope of an alternate version of someone being their own shadow.

The real Jay (or At least a part of him), hidden deep inside his own Brain. living in denial of himself and being incomplete as his Whole Soul and memory was split into 5 different pieces representing his Repressed Thoughts.

Black as ink with a texture of tar, This Jay Is barely humanlike. Shutting himself out from anyone or anything trying to interact with him preferring to Wish it all away instead of Trying to fix all the issues he has caused. They say that when the Other 5 Make amends and come to terms with themselves, he will be let out of his cage like a wild animal. for better or for worse? Well there’s no clear answer for that. (Codeword for if I plan to expand this and write an actual fan fic)

Thank you for reading my hyperfixiation. while i do think this Au could never work in canon, Its very fun to think about it as jay probably has the most repressed trauma of all the ninja. plus its an Au for a reason.

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team7-headquarter · 7 months

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Kishimoto suffers from fucking up his power scale so bad he needed to start killing characters with loopholes and making other characters weaker out of nowhere and he needed gods and aliens to start giving powers to the protagonists so they could fight better the antagonists.

At least in Naruto Classic the fights were more coherent in terms of power and resolutions. Sure, half of them came to an end because Naruto used the talk no jutsu, but it made sense!!!! Naruto was a dirty fighter and he used his enemies traumas to gain the upper hand and then exploited that weakness. It was Haku's memories what defeated Zabuza, it was Neji's pride that made him blind to Naruto's insane tactics, it was the jinchuriki issue what connected Gaara and Naruto, etc. There was logic in those moments.

Then Shippuden came and people could basically turn back time, travel to other dimensions, which is cool, but??? The fights involving izanagi are not my favorite for a reason. It's a cool tool to have if you, the author, want an outcome regardless of who would actually win. What is the point if one of the participants can shape reality out of nowhere? And yeah, some of the crazy powers were given to the Uchihas, but it's a double edged sword. In the end, Kishimoto had to invent excuses to kill them because he made them way too strong. Like Madara and Obito, who had to be defeated by the appearance of Kaguya in the story, or Shisui and Itachi, who basically suicide in their own ways.

Hell, even Fugaku allowed Itachi to kill him...

The way Rock Lee went from crazy potential to nothing? Or the way Neji got killed? There are so many examples of what I'm trying to explain.

I love Shippuden for the characters, for having amazing emotional moments and the way those were handled. The characters were fantastic, the art style and a bunch of the designs, the pieces of story and the expansion of the map. The potential of Shippuden is what shines the most. It's Sasuke and Naruto's internal journey which attracts and holds the narrative in place.

It's kinda depressing to think how much more it could have given us.

#naruto #naruto Shippuden #Naruto classic

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despairots · 8 months

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THE ORACLE: ACT 1, SCENE 1

「 i want to touch. i want to be touched. i want to hurt. i want to be hurt. and if you feel the same way, you’re as bad as me 」

CONTENT WARNING: swearing, suicide, suggestive themes, cults, implied self harm, self destructive behaviour, depression, mental health, disorders, sexual assault, blood, canon violence, implied misogyny, reader gets mistaken as a women from men and they get mistaken as a feminine man to women, reader goes by they/them, torture, cult activities, murder, masochism, sadism, manipulation, slow burn, obsessive themes, unhealthy love, religious trauma, etc.

AUTHORS NOTE: first chapter lets gooo!!! :333 my writing might suck but please bare with me it’ll get better. did you guys pick up that reader isn’t exactly healthy and is completely deranged when it comes to their reverse cursed technique. also slow updates i forgot to say this but im not a really motivated writer when it comes to fanfics and long chapters, im okay with oneshots that have 3 parts but anything that goes 4 and beyond drains me so im sorry if chapters are slow :( just please be patient

the way you’ve been dotted and spoiled was too much that you thought you would grow up to be spoiled brat (you didn’t but it would be likely). always littered in white and always clean— they never liked dirt on your skin— so, you were always spotless.

spotless until the sacrifices.

you watched on your throne that was made but thorns, how so many people were restrained and sacrificed for you. their yells and pleads hunted your memories, the cheers and claps from your worshippers made vomit edge your throat but you held it back. they didn’t like it when you were dirty.

if you could’ve healed them, you would, but they were sacrifices for you, you. everything they did was for you, because you deity, a child above human society—when you didn’t mean that much— all because of your technique.

it could only help people if they were on the verge of death. simple wounds like a cut wouldn’t be enough to heal it, so if you restrained them and done enough damage to make them on the verge of death, you could help them and they would be okay.

physically, not mentally.

that’s also a thing you couldn’t heal. someone’s mentally stability. couldn’t heal what they saw, couldn’t heal the mental scar that had cut open their heart and burned itself there.

you weren’t capable of it—you wish you did— then maybe you could heal all the people that had come up to you and asked for you to heal the things they’ve seen, that had went ahead and snapped their minds.

the faces and curses that were shown to you once you had told them you couldn’t help. there was one time where a man had went ahead and sliced your cheek, he was apprehended and sacrificed.

but still.. you couldn’t wipe that moment away. it was a sign that you were only ever good at healing people physically. that in the end, you were actually useless if you couldn’t help them, mentally and emotionally at least.

the worshippers expressed their concern to you, watching you sit on your knees while holding onto your bloody cheek—they don’t like it when you were dirty— they took you to a bathroom. so white and bright.

a white bathtub, which was being filled with warm water, in the middle of the bathroom, herbal essentials being poured into the bathtub as they stripped you from your white clothing and helped you into the bathtub.

washing the impurities from your skin and cleaning the cut on your cheek. staring at the water of your reflection, something that shows you you’re human—anything, please just something that says you’re heart is beating and you’re real.

they had hummed a tune they always hummed when being in your holy presence, it almost seemed like they blushing while touching your skin. were always so smooth? they thought, you were some deity sent from above.

you doubted it.

some simple child with a reverse cursed technique wasn’t special nor were they sent from heaven. you born into a clan that had not visited you once and had given you to an insane clan that worshipped the child who inherited this technique.

but you weren’t a child anymore.

and here you sit. watching your worshippers laugh maniacally and kill themselves or killing eachother—they don’t like it when you’re dirty— so why? why is their blood imprinted on your hands?

did they want you to be impure? did they drag you out for so long that they went and burned these sins on you? you were supposed to be a saint, an angel, a deity.

but look.. you’re followers are dying for you and you couldn’t save them.

you’re no saint, no angel, no deity. you were a sinner, a devil. their blood was shedded for you because you were so special to them, so divine. you couldn’t help but laugh.

laugh to save yourself from sanity as you clenched onto the now stained white clothes. tears were flowing down your cheeks where it started to grow sore from all the painful laughing.

you were free. you were finally free from an endless cycle, an endless addiction that they had said you were. it was a mass slaughter of eachother.

until it went quiet from you. all their bodies were surrounded you, some would assume you killed them, you wouldn’t blame them. it was your fault. it was because you were so divine that they went ahead and sacrificed themselves for you.

your eyes widened when you felt a hand be placed on your shoulder— no, this was moving to fast— just a few seconds ago, your worshippers had killed themselves for the sake of you and now, a impure hand (though it’s ironic) laid their hand on you.

“don’t worry my child.” did you know her? why was she so warm? so motherly? why were you so drawn to her that you had crawled into her arms where you shredded no tears, you already wasted them.

thoughts and words swarmed your head, it almost seemed like you’re going insane. it reminded you off all the people who asked you to heal mental scars, you were turning into them. now you knew why that memory had craved itself in your head.

there was butterfly and spider that had managed to crawl inside the house of divinity, both had positioned themselves beside eachother, waiting for one another to attack. until heels went ahead and stomped on the butterfly, carrying a 13 year old in her arms.

could you ever guess the significance of your life? no, you couldn’t. you didn’t value your life nor did you value the time that was wasted on you. if life and death was given to you, you would’ve chosen death.

after all, you were responsible of so many people’s death and sanity. their blood was still stained on your hands that couldn’t be washed away by the water in the bathtub you submerged into. there was blood all over your body that only you could see through the water.

you couldn’t take it.

sinking your face into the water was the only thing that made the blood wash away from your view. drowning yourself in blood and guilt was relieving and delicious. did you enjoy the sight of their blood?

it made you grin with happiness. you were insane. sharp ends were dragged through your delicate (which was cut multiple times) skin, blood dripping into the bathtub as it turned the water into a wine colour.

your eyes saw black dots—you were dying— until the cuts were healed once again and you popped your head out the water, staring at the now bloody bathtub with empty eyes.

“haven’t i told you? stop staining the bath with red.” a women sat beside the bathtub, holding a towel and waiting for you to stand up—you looked good in red— she held a soft smile that made you swoon.

turning your attention from the large window beside the bathtub to the women, you sighed softly and threw your head back against the bathtub, staring up at the ceiling.

how long has it been since the incident? 2 years— no, it was 3. you were 16 now and with your family. every since the women beside you had found and taken you back to your clan, you were taught more about your clans curse techniques.

they had two techniques you had inherited: stringing art cursed technique and the technique that had cursed your entire cult.

“but it’s beautiful.” you had whispered so softly that people might’ve not heard it but she did. she always did. especially now, when she cleans and wipes the impurities off from your skin.

hearing her light and breathy chuckle made you blush from how sweet she was— and then she proposed a question she always had asked you; “would you like to die by a knife?” and you’d always respond, “i wouldn’t want to die by something so boring—so trivial— like a knife.”

and she would always hold a knife against your throat before drawing it away with no intentions of actually harming you. you had always held admiration towards her, how she can be so cunning, you wished to be like her.

you changed into a new pair of clothing, a black turtle neck, a greyish black blazer over it (that had reached the back of your thighs), and shorts with black tights. a necklace with a ring on it was around your neck, you had almost forgotten who had given that ring to you if it weren’t for the letter that was framed.

my one regret was not being able to marry you.

how childish but yet how sweet. remembering the time you had gotten that letter was the moment that made you cry for a second time but that was year ago… and you hadn’t moved on yet.

maybe one day though. one day— “thinking about him?” her voice had interrupted your thoughts about him, turning your head towards her while she stood at the foot of your door, waiting for you to start walking out.

you closed your eyes with a sigh and walked to her side, “he’s too precious to not think about.” hearing you speak so highly about him made her wonder what would happen if she died. would you speak highly about her?

no. you wouldn’t.

not after what she did.

and she knew that aswell. you wouldn’t have ever forgotten about that, you could forgive but you didn’t dare to forget. rather would take it to the grave then forget—

“oh, look at you, my dear web!” another women had approached you, taken your hands and pulling you close to her. your mother, yuka etō, now you knew where you got your looks from, and your father, arata etō, was the man who you had taken your personality from.

humming softly, one of your hands fingers slid in between hers as you held it softly, “morning.” her other hand went and caressed your cheek—never called you by your actual name— “my lovely and dear web.” her tone was implying something you didn’t want to be hooked into.

she smiled, a haunting look in her eyes that was covered sweetness, “they’ve requested you to come to tokyo metropolitan jujutsu technical school.” oh. she had stated with a slight laugh seeing your eyebrow twitch in irritation.

you wished you could decline, you really did, why couldn’t the women standing behind who’s laughing take the job? a child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort. sighing, you pulled your hands away from her grasp and shoved them into your pockets.

some heavy god has put more pain on you then any other human being.

what becomes of the shepherd when the sheep are cannibals?

couldn’t escape this one now, “yeah, i’ll go.” your tone was evident of clear irritation as your mother cheered and clapped her hands, your father approaching you and patting you on your head—what a sinful touch.

“satoru gojo, huh?” you dangled a photo of the boy above your head, a lollipop being savoured by your tongue as you smirked and threw a leg over the other, leaning forward with a cheek in the palm of your hand.

the women in the driver’s seat had chuckled at your fascination towards the boy. no, it wasn’t fascination, it was more of a short interest, “where’d your sudden fascination for him come from?” she had questioned, not sparing you a glance.

she didn’t want to see the annoyed look on your face when she had said that, knowing it wasn’t a fascination or admiration, “don’t jump to conclusions.” go jump of a cliff instead was cut through your throat, keeping your mouth shut.

though, she already knew what you wanted to say. you had always wanted to say something snarky but bit your tongue back until the blood trickled down the corner of your mouth.

you sighed, rolling the window down and throwing the photo of him away, watching it fly through the air then disappearing from your view. “what’s so fascinating about this boy?” you queried, glancing at the women and tilting your head when she hadn’t responded.

all you heard was silence from her, did you she really not want to say anything about this boy? you knew gojo satoru was important and you had done your research but what’s so fascinating about him?

pouting, you crossed your arms and leaned back—until her mouth opened which got your attention— “you’ll find out.” what a boring answer but it’s better then nothing. you groaned and once again, leaned back into the seat.

you craved knowledge, more then anything actually, you were probably more gifted with knowledge then anyone else in your family. always anticipating someone else’s moves and predicting them aswell, your father had said you were truly terrifying.

knowing the gojo clan and having them technically burned into your head since your parents were teaching you about the most powerful clans out there when you came back, satoru gojo hasn’t been told to you.

a smile appeared on your face while biting your pinkies nail, satoru was cute, just not in a way where you’d expect. more like, you wanted to hold him down, cut him up and study him.

but the corpse still remains.

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sonicasura · 24 days

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Transformers Earthspark: Personal Changes

I figured I should write this as I plan to write stuff on it. Transformers Earthspark, an show with interesting concepts despite the mixed execution. I honestly like some of the ideas proposed by it in Season 1 as they aren't actually bad. We rarely get a post war setting for the series since most writers prefer the standard formula and the Terrans hold potential when you remember that Cybertronian are an endangered species whose numbers have only decreased due to war.

This is mainly a simplified list on what changes you'll see in my work involving Earthspark. Points with an asterisk * are new.

Dot doesn't allow her kids to become child soldiers. She wouldn't have a problem if it was self defense lessons as there are people who don't like Cybertronians or will harm her family for the Terrans' nature. Otherwise, the Maltobots are allowed to learn about Cybertron's history and culture.

Megatron is a rogue with the personality of an asshole cat. (Murderous nature partly fizzled out for causing problems to people he dislikes.) The Decepticons had fallen apart after a nasty dispute and gone their own ways. Megatron vanished once GHOST began to hunt any bot not aligned with them. He hides out at the Maltos upon discovering a massive plot that would put all Cybertronian life in danger.

Bumblebee remains rogue as his trust in Optimus is in tatters. He gets involved with the Maltos under the same reason Megatron does and is responsible for the Terrans' self defense training. (Megs handles their history/culture.) Tendency to have war flashbacks.

No Emberstone saves or Prime reverence. Mo is traumatized by Quintus' false reality dream and doesn't like the Cyber Sleeves anymore. Jawbreaker alongside Thrash help with her trauma. Scars are prone to occur alongside the chance of life changing injuries for everyone.

GHOST Autobots have a tense relationship revolving Optimus. This only grows once Bumblebee's current location becomes known. Optimus often questions if he made the right choice as he looks at the unanswered orders involving his rogue Autobots.

Decepticons begin to reform under a new cause. The preservation and protection of the Cybertronian race as GHOST attacks intensify. Starscream leads them under an anti-hero alignment since they will do things the Autobots won't to keep themselves alive. (Think Venom or A-Team.)

Fighting between siblings specifically Robby vs Mo, Twitch vs Thrash, and Jawbreaker finally snaps. I seen potential conflict involving these five that no way in hell is gonna be ignored under my watch. Nightshade and Hashtag act like mediators at times but some fights can't be dissolved so easily.

More enemies for each respective group alongside painful clashes such as Bumblebee vs Optimus. Flora/fauna mutated by Energon, bad Autobots like Pharma/Sunder, and more volatile Decepticons like Astrotrain. No one is having fun when shit hits the fan.

Disabilities like Dot's prosthetic leg are on display. Mandroid slowly gone insane due to Energon poisoning through his experiments as once neutral views regarding Cybertronians were corrupted. First exposure is creation of the Arachnamechs. His students' death amidst the friendly fire tips him over the edge. *

Experiments involving humans and Cybertronians herald by Mandroid. Most of his Energon induced is a result from trying to hybridize both in some way. He eventually forgets about Alex after the second confrontation. Examples: Synthetic blood that boosts healing, skin which repairs through Cybertronian nanites, etc. *

Karen and Agent Schloder are distant with each other. The former isolating herself despite the latter's attempts to reach out. He works at GHOST to keep an eye on her but soon realizes Croft is a lost cause. *

Alex begin to tone down his obsession involving Bumblebee after awhile. He realizes it makes the bot uncomfortable and bring back awful memories. Bumblebee is still Alex's favorite but it is on a healthy level. *

Dad #2 is addressed properly to the Terrans. They learn that not everyone would be okay with the term or might not be someone they can trust. Parental figures is a concept the kids want to understand better so any further issues and discomfort are avoided. *

Terrans are taught Escrima alongside various aspects of Filipino culture. Everyone has their own different style towards the martial art and interests in other cultures were broaden. Dot often picks up books for them. *

The Emberstone is a chaotic manifestation of evolution without proper containment. It often causes trouble for the Maltos by spawning monsters, mutate nearby wildlife or producing twisted visuals for them to adapt against. The last disturbance results in Wheeljack showing up to contain the artifact. *

After the season finale, Twitch remains half blind as her body rejects any replacements offered by both former factions. She learns to live with her disability and alters her Drone alt mode to add a visual guide to further help. It takes quite a while for Twitch to thrive after multiple mishaps. *

That's all I could think of at the moment but will expand the list should more be added or changes are needed.

#sonicasura #maccadam #transformers #transformers series #transformers earthspark #tf #tf series #tf es #tfes #tf earthspark #canon divergence #canon rewrite #personal take #personal idea

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sepublic · 2 years

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I think a defining issue/arc of Willow’s is definitely Denial; Repression, willful ignorance, etc. There’s the obvious example in Understanding Willow, in which she outright declares “Out of sight, out of mind” and purposefully turns over her memory photos with Amity to not face the trauma. And then of course, her Inner self insisting on destroying those memories outright, after being prompted by Amity’s fire spell; Inner Willow replacing the repairs Luz and Amity have done with new damage to undo that.

You can even see it in a smaller joke like in Escape of the Palisman; Willow and her friends are stepping on bones, but as she herself happily declares, as long as she doesn’t look down, they’re not bones! Then there’s stuff like Willow insisting that she wants people to see the real her, with adversarial examples like Hermonculus or Boscha, but also with friends like Amity. Ignoring how she actually feels for the sake of peace (“This is fine”), but eventually having to acknowledge those feelings and have others realize them as well.

And of course, the most symbolic gesture; The fact that Willow is taking photos in the human world. She’s designated herself as the photographer, and is gleefully commemorating and immortalizing past experiences in physical form. Before, she outright denied and even destroyed photos of past memories, because of the regret and pain attached to them; But now, Willow is happily making the most of a bad situation.

She’s accepting and making new memories and moving forward, and cherishing them, just as Willow decided to hold onto the memories she had with Amity regardless of the trauma. I think Willow definitely denied and regretted her time with Amity in hindsight, for a while; But after reconciling with her, Willow was able to come to terms and accept what happened, and still appreciate the good parts of the past. And for months, Willow was trapped in the human world, estranged from her home and dads;

But she didn’t let that stop herself from having fun. And, obviously that’s all anyone could do in such a situation to survive; But I think Willow really is becoming the kind of person who’s just glad it happened at all, and wants to hold onto that as a meaningful part of her, instead of leaving it behind. She’s embracing memories and what she gets from them, and choosing to preserve that, and it’s a rediscovered sentimentality that I think speaks to Willow’s bravery in facing mistakes and disaster and learning, continuing to move on instead of being afraid to step forward.

There’s a bit in Any Sport in a Storm in which Willow DOES make a bad call as a leader, in trusting Hunter; She shouldn’t have done that, she shouldn’t have tried, she’s a Half-a-Witch Willow and should’ve stuck to what she knows. There’s definitely a lot of Regret to Willow, in conjunction with her Denial; She shouldn’t have tried and Willow shouldn’t have dared, which fits someone whose core trauma was being so horribly betrayed and hurt for ‘stepping out of her league’. So it really comes to this sort of Acceptance, that yeah she’ll mess up, yeah there will be times that don’t work out, some things will suck.

But in the end, she’s choosing to live with this and whatever bad memories she might have, so she can appreciate the good. Willow’s choosing to grow from these experiences no matter what, she’s not afraid to try new things and experiment, fuck around and find out, and speak for herself. No more safety in the familiar, not only is Willow glad to have had these memories at all, but she’ll keep making them because of that.

Even when Belos potentially ruins the human world for Willow (because of course he’d try to drive this foreign witch away), Willow nevertheless thanks the human world for the memories it gave and promises to come back for more regardless. And that says a lot, that Willow won’t led bad memories estrange and ruin something for her.

Boscha is her bully and tied to Grudgby, but Willow still enjoys sports and Flyer Derby. Her mistakes as a captain doesn’t ruin the Emerald Entrails for her; Amity’s mistakes won’t ruin the happiness of Willow’s past. And the circumstances of entering the human world, Belos inflicting death on Flapjack, won’t ruin this curious place for Willow either. It’s not that she’s denying the bad; Nor is she resigned to agonizing over it. Rather, Willow is accepting it so she can still appreciate the good. She’s so used to people telling her no, she can’t do or be this, so this time Willow is reveling over how nobody can stop her.

(I wonder if this arc of facing what happened is tied to her glasses changing; Going from their regular color to gold, as if to signify a new level of sight in looking at the past and future, and ensuring she can continue to do so with photos.)

#the owl house #willow park #meta #character analysis #character development

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antiendovents · 2 months

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hey! so tumblr eated the last one so i hope this one works (hopefully i got everything, memory is hard) also for some context: the only people fronting at this time was a persecutor (me) and a social protector, both of us don't have empathy and don't stand for the system being pushed around

anyways i posted about how weird it is whenever endos say traumatized people hold privilege over them and an endo came into my replies saying that i'm the reason their friend tried to kill themselves and people like ME is the reason people have issues.

mind you i am nothing but respectful in online discussions (and keep interacting with endos to a fucking MINIMUM!!) unless someone shows me disrespect first, then i am done with them (but never am toxic yk?) so i haven't done jack shit to make their friend wanna kts

but they came into my reply section all talking about how people who are anti endo are so evil and toxic and cause people to end themselves (mind you i mentioned how endos send me gore rape threats and etc and they did not reply to that)

then when i didn't bite and kept pointing out how A. no one was talking about that B. They are trauma dumping and C. they can't guilt trip me they started calling me a kid and an edgelord and calling me names and implying i was just to stupid to see that "[im] the problem". and that they weren't trauma dumping they were explaining nuance (which they lacked so badly. doubt they know the definition of the word.)

they then compared me to ben shapiro and told us they weren't there to have a normal conversation and atp i was done with them.

went to their page to block them and they had posts about hating how people block tags/other people cuz it makes 'people not receptive to other viewpoints' and shit and then they vague posted us. like its not lacking nuance or not liking other viewpoints, its the fact that you're a dick. you don't understand how to properly have a conversation with other people, respect THEIR viewpoints or understand nuance that doesn't fit your beliefs and think everyone should just bend to your will. not wanting people to block people isn't being smart its being chronically online and assuming superiority over everyone who disagrees with you. i have never seen someone so dense ironically talking about other people who disagree being dense. like maybe people just don't fucking agree with you and don't wanna hear your bs.

sorry if none of this made sense!

oh, jeez that's.. I hate how endos try guilt trip us, like no I'm not going to be pro endos just because your friend was bullied or harassed ((obviously I don't think they deserved that, but I'm not going to give up my beliefs and start feeding into misinformation just because that happened)). It's good that you blocked them, because they sound like a fucking dickhead tbh. You are not the problem, they are, and it's so frustrating that they can't see that. Like fuck off with your BS, no one cares about you or your endos shit (not directed at you anon)

Also don't worry, this makes sense ^^

#anti endo #did #did system #endos dni #plural #actually did #alters #system #endos fuck off #did osdd #Tw brief suicide mention #Tw suicide mention #Adding tws just in case

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reefies · 7 days

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On IFS- @justanothersyscourse (sorry this is long!)

From what I understand about IFS based on what you said and what I’ve heard in the past, it’s a therapy to do with internal parts that aren’t alters- which can happen, because essentially alters are when there are solid dissociation walls (full, partial or emotional dissociation and amnesia) developed between ego states due to severe and/or extremely repetitive trauma as a child, and as the brain develops, these ego states will develop too, impacted by the trauma that they may or may not carry, into full blown dissociated, separate consciousnesses. (This does not mean they have full personalities, all alters add up to one person, one personality, but the Separation does mean different identities in themselves bc they developed as the brain was trying to develop a sense of identity.) but the ego states they were even before, are called Emotional Parts and Apparently Normal Parts, on a basic level. These ego states, these EPs and ANPs, are responsible for meeting the child’s basic needs- a part may have a job to secure a child’s secure attachment to a caregiver, a part may have a job to make sure the child doesn’t go hungry, a part may be there to make sure the child learns to properly communicate emotions, etc. with trauma, these functions are impacted. The parts take on trauma and hold it and don’t fuse properly.

Singlets can have these parts to themselves, especially traumatised singlets- everyone has parts to themselves, in neurotypical, non-traumatised people, I believe they fuse [almost] completely? Or have a secure enough lifestyle that the EPs and ANPs work together fluidly. I forget which it is exactly. With OSDDID, these emotional and apparently normal parts developed a sense of identity, with some carrying trauma and some not, and some carrying trauma but acting like they don’t/can only access that trauma some of the time? These are alters.

But with traumatised singlets, the EPs and ANPs never learned to work together fluidly enough due to certain needs not being met but others HAVE been met, so they’re still a singlet, but a traumatised, maybe slightly dysfunctional one. The parts were never impacted enough to have dissociative amnesia walls built between them, so they never turned into alters, but they don’t work fluidly with one another.

For instance, by medical definition, DID is the presence of multiple EPs and ANPs, separated by full, partial, and emotional amnesia and dissociation. OSDD is the presence of one ANP and multiple EPs, separated by partial and/or emotional amnesia and dissociation, and things like PTSD, BPD, and etc have one EP and one ANP that have a slight maybe slight lack of memory when switching between the two when triggered, and/or a lack of emotional permanence and “mood swings”, but do not have the full blown dissociation and amnesia and their parts do not have dissociated, separate identity.

Side note, this is also why people say more research needs to be done in the case of systems with personality disorders (they definitely exist, we are one, but from that definition it’s easy to understand why people want more research, right?)

IFS is from what I can understand a therapy caring for parts in disordered singlets that have EPs and ANPs that do not work together fluidly, such as in BPD, [C-]PTSD and etc. I do not like that they sometimes might steal actual system terms but there can be “parts” without them being alters.

Apologies if anything here is not explained properly I am in school and writing this on my lunch break/in lesson lol I will explain things (if I remember) after if anyone needs it!

Feel free to correct me if I got any of this wrong I am not a professional simply an Autistic system who is chronically online with a special interest in psychology and online friends with actual psychology students who are also systems 😭✌️ please use tone tags tho I don’t do well with perceived criticism most of the time /lh /g

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