#like really? me? you must be mistaken my dude

[asyouleft]

ME: *gains 5 followers on A03 overnight*

ALSO ME:

#talked about this in therapy this morning lmao #how I am unable to comprehend that people enjoy talking to me #or like anything i do #like really? me? you must be mistaken my dude #you wouldn't like me if you met me

[hanihazeljade]

TikTok Tim

TikTok has been a blast and of course, Richard has been bothering Tim to make an account for siblings bonding. But Tim got himself a newfound confidence and a new way to irritate Lex.

(CW: thirst traps, TikTok, possible femboy content, swearing)

"Can we just talk about Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne?" A TikToker with million followers said, "Like this dude is seventeen turning eighteen in like 3 months and what he done in his almost 18 years of existence?" It showed a screenshot of a headline way back when he was attending grade school that he skipped two grades, "He skipped 2 years in school and even though he dropped for two years, because some tragedy happen in his life, he still managed to graduate high school the same year in his age range." Which is true, but with all hacking the school systems, he graduated.

"And I also discovered that he is emancipated from his foster parent, Bruce Wayne. Like at first it was insane because you got the Wayne to finance you but look at him, he is one of the biggest shareholder in the Wayne Enterprise and he already got so many praise especially from Lex Luthor," and then screen showed a clip of Lex saying, "I commend the young Drake-Wayne, even he doesn't have any degree in business, he knows how to handle one unlike some people that I know that have bachelors degree. But if you think about it, it must be in his blood after all his mother is Janet Drake, that woman is the scariest socialite in Gotham." And the screen turned back to the TikToker, "Dude doesn't have any degree yet get a praise from Lex Luthor? He is a genius I tell you." and with that the TikTok video ended.

It all started with that one video on how perfect and genius Timothy Jackson Drake. And it snowballed to edits, a thirst trap if you will, of Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne. One TikTok video and the whole internet has been sleuthing every single picture, video of the new most eligible bachelor of Gotham City. And with that, #tim drake on TikTok have millions of views in span of 2 days. And it also doesn't help that Tim's life has been exposed in the different tabloids since he was a kid, being a member of a elite society especially in Gotham. He doesn't really know and care but with so many people doing a deep dives in his life, it kind of unsettling.

He scrolled again and it was a thirst trap edit. And he decided to exit the app, enough internet for the day.

"Timmmyy." Dick whined as he was begging Tim to make a TikTok account for 1, he can do those trends with Tim and two, he wants Tim to see those thirst traps edit of himself and it has been seven days straight. And Tim's patience has been wearing thin.

"I will, once I finished these reports." he said with no intention of doing it and gonna said that he forgot about it.

"No, do it now. I know your schemes, Timmy." Tim sighed with the insistence, "Then come back here later for you to remind me then."

++++++

"So, my brother Richard has been keep bothering me to make one of this account and apparently, many people tried to make a little clout so I am going to make one to gather all the clout." Tim said with a blank stare but let out a snort at the last part. "I will probably never upload anything again but yep, hope you are happy, Richard." and with that the video ended. 2 hours later after that video got uploaded, his account boomed to 2.3 million and his first video got featured in some internet forums and articles were being published online.

++++++

"And he finally succumbed to the Tiktok." Jason said as soon as he walked to his penthouse and Tim rolled his eyes.

"What are you doing here, oh mighty Jason?" Tim rolled his eyes, sarcasm is dripping to those words.

"I thought you are better than Dick but it seems like I was mistaken."

"Pot. Kettle. Just because I was on the side of edit Tiktok and you are in booktok doesn't make you the top. You are giving pick-me vibes, ngl."

"Did you really just said ngl instead of not gonna lie?"

"Did I stutter?"

++++++

Tim thought it will be cool if he just upload another Tiktok video after months of abandoning his account. He look at the trends and some old trends and he particularly got stuck in the transition videos and he took liking on the one audio edit of Jade West saying, "What's the prob, dog?", and he is a gremlin for a reason.

So, he was there chuckling at himself with the thought of the internet will never know what's gonna hit them.

+++++++

Tim likes to do a little bit of thirst traps in his content but he also like just to gave his audience what he does in his free time whenever he is done reading and signing the needed papers, like typing in his computer or solving a rubiks cube. And he keeps getting millions of views every time and it is such a ego boost for him.

But he also likes the videos with prominent people in United States, most is just him and Lex Luthor doing stupid shits and every time it will happen, both the stocks of WE and Lex Corp is going up and somehow that made both Tim and Lex being close yet hating each other so much.

The Justice League, specifically Superman, is very much annoyed and not happy about Tim's association to one of the prominent villains in the existence. But all Tim does is send them a lip sync video of him with the audio of, "Do I give a fuck? No, not one. How many fucks do I give? Zero. Exactly, so therefore your comment is irrelevant." And he called it a day. He is still fucking salty of about his worst year of his fucking life. He will not going to forgive those assholes when they didn't even apologise.

But somehow the limit of his TikTok freedom is having him doing a thirst trap in a form of being a femboy. Listen. Tim knows he will never be a brickhouse like Jason and Bruce but god forbid his BMI doesn't go up to 20 even in his peak body mass. He was always has been a twink and he also doesn't like that but apparently, that type of body is a perfect "bottom/submissive" material based on the different manhuas he having been indulge himself the past month.

++++++++

Dick was scrolling at his fyp page that was full of animals, gymnastics and Justice League edits - because, and he got in a video of a guy sitting on a red couch doing a simple transition of throwing his black shoe and then changing his casual fit to a more formal attire and it was a smooth transition on Dick's observation and he subconsciously goes to the comments because he wants a laugh at the thirsty comments.

Did anyone notice how smooth that transition is?

Lol, that is a big ass shoes

He is a mighty fine fella

WHY DOES NOBODY IS COMMENTING THAT THE ACCOUNT IS TIMOTHY JACKSON DRAKE-WAYNE?

Dick blinked once at that comment. And he blinked again. He closed the comments and swipe left. And the comment is right, it take him on Tim's verified account with now two videos.

When did Tim had a 5.6 million followers?!

Tim already on the same following count as him and he was still definitely gonna get more. Dick is now kind off regretting his decision if putting Tim in TikTok.

+++++++

The next month was shown that Tim doesn't have any schedule that follows his uploading, it seems like he upload wether he like. But the ones that broke the internet is the one thirst trap that Tim posted.

Ashley, look at me

Tim made the hand movements for the transition and from the Saint Laurent sweater, it is Jason's, Dick knows because he just saw Jason wear it like two days ago and it was paired with a black slacks and it turns into a oversized silk dress shirt and it looks like nothing underneath and Dick hopes that there is a boxers underneath because God forbids, he will delete Tim's TikTok account. In that video, it showcases Tim's long, pale, scarless legs, which is a fucking lie, he doesn't how Tim did it but that is a fucking lie. And oh boy was the comments are wild.

He is a sugar baby with the money of a sugar daddy

I'm straight but damn

yeah that's it, I'm bi now

I can hit that any time if he hit me up

Wait! I AM CONFUSED

Am I.. into this?

bottom vibes ngl

Dick stops reading the comments. TIM IS HIS LITTLE BROTHER! Sure he's nineteen but Dick felt uncomfortable looking at his brother's thirst trap, that he made himself. He immediately message Tim to stop posting thirst traps and Tim just reply with, 'Well, you have to face the consequences of forcing me to this damn app'.

He will be damned, he thought.

#tim drake #fanfic #chaotic tim drake #unhinged tim drake #dcu #jason todd #dick grayson #tiktok #batman #ceo tim drake #femboy #thirst traps

[nikanyon]

Heartstrings Across Cities: Neither, it’s Noritoshi

Ch. 2

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Masterlist

Y/n and Miwa took a leisurely stroll towards the cafe where Noritoshi was employed. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafted through the air as they entered, finding Mai, Momo, and Kokichi already settled at a table. As they chatted and enjoyed the atmosphere of the cozy cafe, Todo made a dramatic entrance, his eyes scanning the room.

"Where's Torinoshi?" he queried with a furrowed brow. Mai, sipping her latte, casually responded, "I don't know; we haven't seen Toshinori yet." Y/n, momentarily perplexed, turned to her friends. "Wait, so is it Torinoshi or Toshinori?" Just as the confusion lingered, an unfamiliar voice cut through the conversation. "Neither. It's Noritoshi." The group turned to see a guy with a tray of beverages in hand—Noritoshi himself.

As Noritoshi carefully arranged the beverages on the table, he spoke again, “you must be Y/N, if I’m not mistaken?” She shot back a smile at him, “sure am, it’s nice meeting you, Noritoshi.” She paused, then asked “how come everyone is pronouncing your name differently though.?” He chuckled, “that’s what I get for being friends with idiots. It feels good to know that not everyone is stupid here and can pronounce my name right.”

Todo, with his usual brashness, quipped, "Where's my drink, loser?" Quick on the uptake, Noritoshi shot back, "You haven't ordered anything, idiot." Unfazed, Todo attempted to rectify the situation, declaring, "Well then, I'm ordering something now. I'll have a—" Before Todo could complete his sentence, Noritoshi decisively cut him off, deadpanning, "No, you're not. I'm on my break right now." Grabbing a spare chair from a nearby table, Noritoshi nonchalantly seated himself.

His gaze, previously fixated on the beverage logistics, shifted with a newfound interest toward Y/n. Todo, ever tactless, barged in with, "anyways, Y/n. What's your type in men?" Mai shot him a side-eye, Momo facepalmed, Kokichi sighed, Miwa rubbed her temples, and even Noritoshi muttered a quick 'oh my god' under his breath. Y/n, visibly confused, asked, "What?" Todo persisted, "Your type in men, what is it?" Y/n, taken aback, replied, "I have to tell you my type in front of people I just met?"

Todo, unfazed, cut her off again, adding, "Also, if your type is boring, I'm gonna have to beat you up." Mai intervened with a sharp elbow to Todo's side, exclaiming, "Dude, shut the fuck up." Todo, undeterred, urged Y/n to answer his question. “Yuji warned me about this,” Y/N mumbled. Finally giving in, Y/n began describing her ideal type, "Taller than me, big hands, preferably black hair, lean and muscular but not like whatever you have going on," the last part sounding unintentionally insulting.

Todo, shocked, retorted, "How dare you? Muscles are important to men! Real men want real women, not skinny twigs like you." Momo gasped audibly at this, but Noritoshi, displaying a rare softer side, put his hand on Y/n’s shoulder, speaking in a soft voice, "You should ignore him. His behavior is a result of a conservative, twisted upbringing. When he was younger, he had a mentor who brainwashed him. You shouldn't believe a word he says."

Mai burst into laughter, rewarding Y/n with a high five. "God, I love you already. You really put him in his place, Y/n," she exclaimed. Momo chimed in, "About time someone came here to humble him." Todo, still wide-mouthed and likely processing the unexpected turn of events, became the unintentional centerpiece of the cafe spectacle.

While the lively banter continued, Noritoshi found himself captivated by Y/n—her radiance, cheerfulness, and humor. Lost in the moment, he rested his head on his palm. As quickly as it began, his break came to an end, and he reluctantly stood up. "I have to get back to work now. It was nice seeing you, Y/n," he said with a genuine smile. Y/n returned the sentiment, "It was nice seeing you too!" Their brief interaction lingered in the air as Noritoshi resumed his role as a waiter.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk season 2 #jujutsu kaisen manga #jjk x reader #noritoshi texts #noritoshi jjk #jjk noritoshi #noritoshi x reader #noritoshi kamo x reader #noritoshi kamo #kamo noritoshi #noritoshi smau #jjk smau

[twstwonderlandstuff]

Can I request Lilia suddenly deciding to be MCs new best friend and clinging around then to know everything about them because his dear son is in love with mc

So just silver x Mc but Lilia is a terrible wingman

I SEE YOU NONNIE I SEE YOU YOU AND ME WE 🤝 WE UNDERSTAND

unfortunately this took a comedic turn and I apologize for that, it's just... pfft

spoilers for lilia's labcoat story!

requests are closed!

gender neutral reader

tw: none

ooc lilia, ramshackle ghosts w/ names & personalities(my hcs)

lilia vanrouge

"it's been an odd few days." you account to the ghosts that reside in ramshackle, sipping your cup of tea. "like, it's been weird weird."

"how so?" dumpy, the round ghost questions, circling around you.

"yeah, well, ya see..." you place down the cup of tea and clap your hands. "lilia's senpai's been getting real close to me, and while I don't mind he's just been like... weird about it?"

"like, like- he constantly talks about silver-senpai this, silver-senpai that, and while I don't doubt silver senpai's a pretty cool guy, it's just like... ??? where did this come from??" you shrug. "ugh, I need opinions. lanky, give me yours, please..."

lanky, the tall ghost, takes a sit next to you. "I think he's just being friendly! of course, that's not what you say when it comes to NRC students, but lilia is an odd case."

tiny, the short ghost, shakes his head. "no, there must be some hidden agenda. we're talking about the guy that wrestled a bunch of savanaclaw dudes, right? where did we get that story, anyway-"

"epel-"

"oh, epel, right. …point is, I think he has a hidden agenda." tiny groused, choosing to float next to the prefect. "what are your thoughts, little grim-lin?"

"FINALLY! if 'yer asking the great grim..." grim crosses its arms. "...he's totally tryna butter us up and make us do something for him! like what tiny said!!!"

"hmm, that does make sense." dumpy agrees, nodding along. "you can continue observing him, or ask him directly."

"directly?!" lanky and you well at the same time. "no way!"

"absolutely not!"

"what if I DIE?" you wail, dramatics full on display.

"be a little more optimistic, will you..."

"I'm not taking chances with a guy who beat three- THREE- savanaclaw students! I'm not-"

"not what, little bat~?"

"EEEEEEEPPPPP!!!!" lilia's sudden intrusion forced you to let out a surprised scream as the ghosts and grim scatter in surprise.

"fufu, surprised~?"

"ob- ob... OBVIOUSLY!!!" you grumble. "don't do that, sheesh!!!"

"well, I couldn't help butt in when I heard my name being thrown about, could I?"

oh, shit. you feel a shiver go down your spine as lilia glances at you sideways, like a predator catching its prey.

"I, uh, I just-" you stammer, before slapping your cheeks and pointing an accusatory glance at the bat-like senior. "it's your fault for acting weird, anyway, senpai!"

you continue before lilie can get a word in, a grin already apparent on his face. "like, I'm totally fine with us being friends, that's cool, but you keep on bringing up silver-senpai! like how good he is at PE, or that he's really gentle with animals, or-"

"wait." dumpy interrupts you, floating back down from the 2nd floor. "lilia-san, do forgive me if I'm mistaken, but perhaps..." dumpy hesitates for a second. "perhaps, you have a crush on silver-senpai?"

"WHAT."

"oh, oh-!" tiny butts in, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "you don't have anyone to talk to, so you've been hinting at it to the prefect, huh?"

"I guess I thought you wrong after all, mr. bat." grim adds, scrawling in with a grin. "who woulda' thought it was about love?"

"oh...OH?????" now its your turn to be awed, and you nudge him. "aww, is this what it's about, senpai? you should've said so from the start! I never took you as the shy type, senpai!"

the grin from lilia's face slowly slips, and in turn, horror as he begins to fervently shake his head- which you take as affirmation to your theory.

"come then, senpai, tell us! what do you like about silver, hmm~?" you coo. "is it his beautiful face?"

"I... I have to go." with a solemn tone that he doesn't often carry, lilia disappears into thin air, leaving a dust of green magic behind.

"wow, he must be really embarrassed!" grim snickers. "let's tease him the next time we see him!"

"not too much, though. still, I can't believe lilia senpai's the shy type~" you laugh in amazement.

"well, you can't judge a book from its cover, right?" dumpy pats himself on the back. "all thanks to my detective work!"

back in diasomnia, lilia transports into the living room, with a grave, grave face.

"I... I messed up..."

"lilia?" malleus questions as he hands his vice-leader a cup of tea. "what happened?"

"I messed up- no... I FUCKED UP!"

malleus jumps at the sudden burst, watching as lilia begins to pace around the room. "ooh, shit, oh shit, I have to tell the prefect they got it wrong, but- oh, no--!!!!!"

"old man?"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT RIGHT NOW!!!"

lilia proceeds to crumble on the floor of diasomnia, where sebek dramatically wails over, where malleus & silver look on in confusion.

please don't come at me for saying this is incest please please please I just thought it would be funny if lilia messes up so bad to you think that HE has a crush on silver instead

then silver finds out and he like stares at lilia going 'wtf old man... how tf did you mess up that bad' and lilia's like 'i do not preceive i do not preceive i do not PRECEIVE' head in hands typa deal

#twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #twst #lilia vanrouge #twst silver #twst silver x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #gender neutral reader #gn! reader #gn reader #sugar rush

[rollinouttahere-writes]

I know it wouldn't make sense timeline wise since (I'm assuming) Kaku takes Little Lucky when he first goes to inspect The Merry, so she wouldn't have a chance to know about Usopp getting beat up. But I just died at the thought of Franky finally managing to make it to CP-9's train car and the first thing he gets is an angry four year old who wants to get payback for her friend.

Also, hear me out on this, but have you ever considered a strays au but with Little Lucky? The utter chaos that she and Lizard could cause just from people underestimating them alone is endless. Plus, I think it'd be really cute and sweet for Doll to get to be around someone younger and help ensure their childhood is a happier and healthier one than her own. And neither her or Lizard had friends their own age growing up, I'm crying at how precious it could be for them to play with a little kid; it might be awkward and unnatural at first, but of course Luffy jumps in and everyone's having fun and laughing in less than a minute.

Little Lucky suddenly looking up to Lizard more because she bit a dude's fingers off is also just hilarious to me. Kaku is just trying to slowly cover her eyes because his paternal instincts say, "Hey, maybe this amount of bloodshed and dismemberment isn't the best thing for a small child to witness." Said small child later boasting to Zoro about how Lizard must be stronger than him because, "she doesn't even need a sword to hurt people with her mouth!" Spandam is sorely mistaken if he thinks Fukuro is going to be the only one repeating that story 😂

Kaku does take her when he goes to survey the Going Merry, but Luffy is able to get her back after breaking in to the Galley-La main building, so she does get a chance to find out about what happened. It might be more upsetting this way because she doesn't get a chance to say goodbye to Usopp and she's mad at everyone involved for not finding a way to fix it. Friends are supposed to be able to talk things out! How did it get this bad?!

She spends the duration of the ride to Enies Lobby in Rocketman yelling at the Franky Family and trying to throw hands with them, and when she finally gets to Franky it is on SIGHT. He can't get a word in edgewise without being pelted with rocks from her slingshot or getting kicked and stomped on.

On a similar note, she's with Luffy and Chopper in not being able to tell who Sogeking is. She's sadly telling him how much he reminds her of her friend Usopp while wishing she could see him again because she never even got to say goodbye. It takes everything he has not to out himself, especially when she says she would upgrade him to 'best friend' status if he came back.

Little Lucky in the Strays AU would be so cute oh my god

Lizard is going through intense emotional turmoil upon realizing that there was a child with the Straw Hats and that her father probably would have killed her along with everyone else (he wouldn't have, having a child softened him a bit). Lizard is trying to avoid her because she feels guilty, but Lil Lucky follows her around like a duckling because 'oh new friend!'

She was already getting fond of Lil Lucky by the time they got to Skypeia, but after the Enel incident they are inseparable. Lizard is her personal body guard now, and that quickly grows into her taking on a big sister role. Lucky thinks Lizard is the coolest and always cheers her on when she's committing acts of unspeakable violence.

Doll finds Lil Lucky to be the easiest person to interact with right after joining. Little kids don't notice how awkward she is around people, so she's less self conscious. Doll loves to play with her and indulge in normal childhood things that she didn't get to do growing up.

#strays au #little lucky au #sleepyone2three #crocodad series #playing with doll #usopp #franky the cyborg #cyborg franky

[hyeahgaku]

Satoru Yotsumura appreciation post🙏

The former founding member of the Order & Emeritus Professor of the Japan Clear Creation (JCC), who is now forced to live as a fugitive after his banishment from the JAA.

He was also... a loving husband and father; a family man.

Yotsumura's backstory was pretty tragic I'm sure we can all agree. Up till today, I'm still amazed at how Suzuki-sensei was able to stir my emotions solely with the flashback illustrations of him & his family. The narrative we got wasn't much, yet Sensei established in just one chapter how dearly Yotsumura loved & cared for his family. How precious they were to him. Indeed, pictures do speak thousands of words.

During the scene where Yotsumura was falling into the river after Shishiba defeated him, his thoughts were shown to be of Amane, Shishiba back in the days (with his ponytail), followed by lastly his wife Shino. I still wonder if the order matters here, and I personally think it does. Honestly speaking, I really liked this bit about seeing Shishiba appear in his thoughts as he was "dying". It shows just how important Shishiba must be in his life too, aside from his son and wife. Note that present tense "must be".

Of course he's important, cuz otherwise why would Yotsumura have invited Shishiba over for dinner & let him meet his family? He was pissed when Asaki, a high-ranking JAA exec & probs the no. 3 at that time, brought up about Amane -to the extent that he even threatened to kill him. And yet this cold-hearted, blonde ponytail dude got invited over to their home for dinner & had the honour to meet his family. Not only that, Yotsumura even begged Shishiba to help look out for his family if something bad were to happen to him. This goes to show that he must have had a high level of trust in Shishiba. (And if I'm not mistaken, he trusts Sakamoto too since Sakamoto knew about Amane as well.)

It's unfortunate that Yotsumura was robbed of his chance to be an otherwise great father to Amane while the little boy was growing up. This man even got betrayed by the one woman he loved so much & trusted. And then he got framed by the organisation he was working for. When his trusted apprentice came to seek for the truth, Yotsumura neither defended himself nor provided an explanation or the true story, instead he told Shishiba to not ask questions & that his job was just to kill.

What goes around will truly come back around. Yotsumura made his life off killing other people and, unlike Sakamoto, he chose not to leave his assassin profession -which is a big mistake on his part cuz it goes back full circle to himself & his beloved family. I can't imagine how painful it must have been for him to kill Shino, but being the loving & caring dad he is, he did not hesitate & finished her off cuz that meant saving his own son's life; an innocent child. This aside, what actually made me sick to the core is seeing how Shino showed no remorse until her last breath; she didn't even apologise for her actions. Which means, she truly married Yotsumura to serve her own purpose in the "revolution" that she's a part of. It's insane.

When he first met Shishiba, Yotsumura taught him that, in order to survive in their world, one should surround themself with people whom they're fine with dying. But after it got revealed he has a family of his own, Yotsumura added, "The key to surviving in this world is your dedication to protecting what you care about." I think this is bittersweet especially with what fate had in store for Yotsumura. He preaches both ideology, so it seems, and at the back of his mind he might have already been ready for anyone around him dying, though it's certain that he'd go extra lengths to prevent that from happening. And yet fate has arranged for him in such a way that he would end up losing everything. (Which, once again, shows that assassins are better off alone & have no families.)

Well, not really everything actually cuz thankfully young Amane was still alive back then & Yotsumura knew that he can't put his loved ones in danger so he had no choice but to leave his precious son behind & continued on to live his life as a wanted man. Even if it means Amane would remember him as a deadbeat dad.

Yotsumura has gone thru so much hell. And now he's working behind-the-scenes for Nagumo, who unexpectedly rescued him from death & has offered him a pretty decent deal. Hopefully… Yotsumura would be able to reunite & live with his precious son Amane again -as Nagumo had promised. I'm absolutely sure Amane would love for this chance too🙏

#Soy's character appreciation post #meta #サカモトデイズ #SAKAMOTO DAYS #sakadays #satoru yotsumura #soy extras

[cto10121]

Hey so I read your "What is a Romance" post and found it very informative so thank you lol. I was confused about one part tho:

Can a romance focus on a beta couple as well? Generally no. In American romance novels, authors do set up the couple for the next installment, but that is not quite the same as page time and development. Romances focus on one couple at a time—once that couple’s love story is done, writers can move on to another couple’s romance. Stories that have more than one couple tend to be something else entirely.

I wanted to know how this related to works like Much Ado About Nothing (Hero and Claudio) or Pride and Prejudice (Jane and Bingley) (though I suppose that last one is a marriage plot so it might not count anyway).. Isn't Much Ado About Nothing a romance that focuses on more then one couple?

I also wanted to know this because I'm working on a romance novel and there was a side couple that i wanted to give attention to.

…I’ve been waiting for someone to ask this question, ha. Knowing all the while that I’d have to give my very unpopular opinion. Well, here it is (and thanks for in advance for being the one to bring it up!)

So no, I don’t categorize Much Ado About Nothing and Pride and Prejudice as romances, not so much because they have a beta couple, but because of their plots and thematic concerns. Much Ado is social comedy/satire and Pride and Prejudice is a wedding plot. Let me explain.

Much Ado About Nothing

Ah, Much Ado. I know people adore Beatrice/Benedick (ditto, they’re great) and feel very uncomfortable with Hero/Claudio (with good reasons). But ultimately neither of these couples constitute a true romance. Their love in the play function as social satire/commentary on the battle of the sexes. Beatrice and Benedick’s respective sexism (Beatrice’s scorn for men and Benedick’s sexism toward women) make them refuse to entertain marriage/romance and shield their obvious attraction for each other. Ultimately, though, their sexism stems not from ideology, but from personal hurt feelings and/or insecurity, so the moment they hear that the other likes them, then they are eager to cast off their previous convictions. Shakespeare even hints that B&B had been a couple before, so their realization that they actually love each other is not really true romantic development. Claudio’s actual sexism, in the meantime, actually does lead him to reject Hero. Though framed as romance plots, these two strands are part of the satiric commentary on sexism and misogyny.

Pride and Prejudice

So yeah, Pride and Prejudice is almost purely a marriage plot. Austen sets up the stakes very early and very clearly: The Bennett sisters must marry or else their estate is entailed to their cousin. But wait! Elizabeth grows to love Darcy, right? She learns she was mistaken about him, right? Isn’t that romantic development?

Well, no. Romantic development would entail mutual attraction on both sides, foiled by obstacles. While Darcy is canonically attracted to Elizabeth, Elizabeth doesn’t even begin to catch feelings until after she realizes that Mr. Darcy was the victim in the Darcy-Wickham scandal and finding out he was the one who forced Wickham to marry Lydia. Oh, and seeing his beautiful estate Pemberley. 😑 Real romantic. Austen even lampshades this by having Elizabeth joke about it!

So yeah, that is not a romance between two people attracted to each other and struggling with their class hang-ups. This is story of a woman learning that this seemingly snobbish rich dude is actually not that bad once you get to know him and his £10,000 a year manor home.

Yes, Austen was obviously inspired by Shakespeare’s Beatrice and Benedick subplot when she wrote Pride and Prejudice. But while Shakespeare focuses on sexism as the obstacle between these lovers (and the mutuality of their attraction), Austen replaces the sexism with classism and class resentment that both characters need to overcome. All well and good, but there is no more mutuality; Mr. Darcy starts to give her 🥺 from the second he notices her fine eyes while Elizabeth flirts with Wickham and still thinks he is a rich asshole for over half the book. Her change of heart is genuine and humbling, but it does not follow that she should start liking Mr. Darcy romantically. She actually doesn’t until at least the Lydia affair.

The fact that Austen gave little consideration to romantic development (there are few if no courtship scenes between the two) leads me to conceive P&P as more of a marriage plot than a romance one. That is the true goal here, not the love. It is merely enough that Mr. Darcy is established as truly a worthy man to marry. Hence, a marriage plot.

(As for Jane/Bingley, it basically functions as 1) a softer iteration of the classism theme and 2) an obstacle to Elizabeth/Darcy. Again, a marriage plot, and not a romance either.)

#much ado about nothing #pride and prejudice #cristina metas #kaleb-is-definitely-sane #ask #cristina has an unpopular opinion #yeah this is going to go over well #but i’ve never been convinced by elizabeth’s love for darcy #homegirl was barely even bothered by her dislike of him #she only truly hated him when she learned what he supposedly did to wickham

[more-cardigan-than-woman]

Coveted

Summary: You and your bestie go out to celebrate her divorce, unfortunately you just happen to stumble into the bar of the guy youve only been on three dates with, Roman Sionis.

Reader x Roman Sionis

1.8k

Warnings: SMUT, binding, swearing, couch fucking

The lights of the club are blinding, the music is loud and the crowd is like a swarm of bees trying to cram their way through the door.

You'd rather be anywhere else. But it's not everyday your bestie gets divorced and this is where she wanted to go. So, you strapped on your heels and your prettiest dress and now you're standing right inside the club. 

Deep breath, deep breath. You can do this. Karlie wraps her arm through yours, squealing a little bit as the security guard ushers you out of the doorway. “So, is your mystery man coming tonight?” She leans in, sounding excited.

“I hope not.” You mumble, but she's not paying attention anyway, “tonight's about you babe!” You squeal successfully distracting her, “let's go have some fun.”

“Lets!” She giggles, “I wanna find the youngest, hottest idiot and fuck his brains out.”

“Kay, babe. I'll keep an eye out.”

The night seems to be going well. Karlie is getting a bit tipsy but with you constantly feeding her glasses of water in between drinks she keeps her head on her shoulders.

You dance and drink together. All the while your eyes scan the room, over and over. He told you he owned a club, but this can't be it. It's way too flashy and every time you've met him it's been very low-key.

Maybe you're mistaken? After all, you've been here nearly 2 hours and haven't seen him. It must be a different club. Maybe one of those classy ass cigar lounges, dude did look like he was rolling in it.

A young man approaches your table, his red curly hair flowing just past his shoulders and his crisp white shirt is hugging at his sides. 

“That's the one,” Karlie shouts, “Wish me luck,” she mouths to you, jumping from her seat almost immediately and leading the man to the dance floor. You laugh at her enthusiasm.

You watch her dance and then make out with the man. Your drink resting in your hand. You're almost about to leave her to it when you notice someone approaching the booth.

“Come with me, miss.” The large woman orders you.

“I was just leaving.” 

“Come with me miss,” she repeats, “now please.”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Not really,” she shrugs, “sorry.”

She walks you up a flight of stairs and into a darkened room. “Where are we going?” you ask, but the woman ignores you, opening the heavy metal door. All you see is the blue lights that seem to be hidden under the walls and a dark figure sitting on the lounge at the back. You take a step inside and begin to panic when you hear the door click shut behind you.

“Ummm, ma'am,” you turn trying to open the locked door, “ma'am what is this? Ma'am?” 

You hear the click of expensive shoes behind you. Approaching slowing from the back of the room, gods you’re so fucked.

You turn, knowing that there's no real escape here and are suddenly met with a pair of eyes that you recognise. “Roman?”

“Hello darling.” His soft gloved hand gently takes hold of your chin as he steps closer, “did you come here just to tempt me?”

“No, i- my friend, she-”

“is firmly distracted by my man.”

“Roman, I should get back to her.”

“She,” he leans forward, his breath a tingle on your ear, “will be taken good care of tonight, my darling. I want you all to myself.” his arm wraps around your waist pulling you closer, “I feel like you've been teasing me all night.”

“I didn't even know you were here.”

“That's worse.” His teeth sink into your neck and his tongue licks at you, “I knew you were here the moment you hit my sidewalk.” his gloves slip up your dress, searching for the zip, “and you have been teasing me ever since.”

“If I had known you were watching me,” your fingers move fast to the buttons of his shirt, “I would've been naughtier.”

“You were plenty naughty,” he spins you, fed up with his struggle to find your zip. He rips it open with force but his hands are slow while he peals it from your shoulders, his lips chasing the fabric. “Sitting so quietly, ignoring my attempts to get your attention.”

“I didn't do it on purpose.” You smile, knowing he can't see it. 

“And if you had?”

“I would've found something to get me in more trouble.”

“Do you enjoy punishment, darling?”

i“Hmm. With you?” You arch back, pushing your ass into his groin, “I think I could find it very enjoyable.” 

“Let's get to it then, darling.” He lifts you from behind, carrying you over the room and throwing you into the couch, “ass over the arm.” 

“And if I don't?”

He laughs, “please, by all means Resist darling. It makes it way more fun for me.”

You start to squirm, but Romans strong hands have a tight hold for you. His knees press your legs open as his hand around your hair pushes your face into the couch cushions.

“Stop squirming.” His fingers tighten on your hair, pulling your hair back.

“Fucking hell, Romie.” You pant, your ass lifting up in the air as your tummy curves down and your back is beautifully arched.

“You look perfect like this,” he groans into your ear, his free hand making quick work of your panties and then his belt.

You smirk at him over your shoulder. sliding yourself off the couch and moving to get up. “Can't punish what you can't catch.”

“Oh, pretty girl.” His voice is low and dangerous, “I’ve already caught you.” His gloved hand wraps around the back of your throat stopping you in your tracks. His other hand sliding up and under the remains of your dress, “and I know you don't wanna run from me.” 

You shiver in his arms, and he chuckles, wrapping the expensive leather of his belt over your wrists and pinning them to your back.

“Get on the couch,” he presses you forward, his knees kicking yours up and pushing you down into the cushions, “stay right there,” he orders you and you wiggle a sad attempt at pretending to fight.

“What will you do with me?” Your whine turns into a moan as he tears off the remnants of your dress and lands a hard slap on your pussy.

“Teach you what I do to pretty girls who tease me.” He slaps you again. Then his strong fingers are ripping at the seams of your panties and you hear him inhale. “what a fuckin mess.” He slaps you again, “can't have my pretty girl making a mess on my couch.”

“Fuck,” you pant, sticking your ass up and trying to find anything to Grind down on, something to give you the pressure you need, “Roman, please.”

“Yes, pretty girl.” His voice was deep and mischievous, “beg for me.” 

The slice of his zipper cuts through the air, the cling of his belt sending jolts of anticipation  through you. When the expensive leather wrap tightens around you as he pushes you further into the couch, holding you right where he wants you.

“Please Roman,” your legs kick but find no target, “please,” you try to move your arms, but he presses them harder into your back, “I need you, fuck.” 

“What lovely noises you make for me.” His cock slaps at your pussy, teasing you. You scream his name and he laughs. “Stop squirming, it just makes me want to tease you more.” He slips his cock between your lips grinding through them the tip just barely grazing your clit and sending you into a blissful torture. 

“Please fuck me Roman, “ tears start to sell in your eyes, “I can't take it.”

He grabs you by the hair, pulling you back so your chest is slush with his stomach.  His voice a growl in your ear, “not yet. But you will learn to take it from me.” He grinds up, giving you a tiny dose of what's in store as he grinds his cock into your clit.

“Yes, I can.” You pant, “I will. But please. “ You barely have the last word or before he moves back. His cock slip's right into the dropping mess between your legs. 

His gloved hand moves from your hair to your neck,  directing your face to the side and his lips meet yours. His pace is almost as punishing as his kiss. Fierce, hard and unrelenting. 

You feel light headed whether from the kiss or the fucking, you can't tell. But both are intoxicating, he's intoxicating. You twist and the soft leather glides over your thigh and between your legs. Stopping at your clit, he does move just gives you something to grind down on. 

“It's too much,”  you somehow manage to say between garbled moans.

“Take it for me”

“Roman I-”

“I got you. Take it”

“Yes,” you lean back into him. Your muscles relax as you're pussy starts to contract,  “Roman I I think”

“Your mine now pretty girl”

“Yes”

“Say it”

“I'm yours”

“Yes,  keep saying it.” He moans, makes me wanna come

“I'm yours, I am all yours, all of me.” You scream as you explode in a cacophony of pleasure over him and he picks up the pace. You keep saying it as his fingers bruise into you.

“More more”

“Roman I am yours”

“Fuck” he screams through gritted teeth “Fuck fuck,  Yes” he keeps slamming into you as his pace slows down. 

With a deep sigh he stops. Leaning his back into the couch and wiping his brow. “You,  ah.  You're something else.” You hear him smile as his fingers release you from your bonds and he helps you recline into him. 

“Hmmm.” You hum, resting your head on his shoulder, “this was nice.”

“Just nice,” he laughs and you feel his dick inside you twitch, “have to try something else next time then.”

“It was great,  I just-”

“Got your brains fucked out and can't think?”

“Yeah, xctly.”

“Rest pretty girl,”  his hands soothe down your sides. 

“Think I will”

“Good,” his lips gently press into your temple and your eyes flutter close. You’re nearly about to drift right off into dreamland when you swear you hear him say, “You’re all mine now, Darling.” was that another kiss? “You’ll never be free of me.”

#roman sionis x reader #x reader #roman sionis smut #reader x roman sionis

[olsenmyolsen]

Olsen I

Part 7 of On The Inside With Elizabeth Olsen

Word Count: ~3.5K

masterlist

TW: Self Harm. Alcohol addiction.

Y/N POV

The ride to Olsen's feels like it's taking for-fucking-ever. I swear Mr. Bronson is taking every long way he can, but I know that's not true. When he picked me up, he could tell something was wrong. Over the course of the ride, I've sent Elizabeth a handful of texts. I know I'm being harsh, but I'm fucking pissed.

"When were you going to tell me?"

"How many more lies are you keeping from me?"

"Took a look at your wiki ENGAGED since 2019, huh?"

All messages still say DELIVERED.

Looking at her Wikipedia page was weird and only added more fuel to the fire inside me. A small part of my brain knows she must have her reasons, but I'm choosing to ignore it. Most things she told me about herself seem to be true. But why lie? She knows who the fuck she is. Granted, I guess when she picked me, she knew what a fucking dumbass I was.

When the car stops, I finally realize what my hands have been busy with. I look down at the cuts forming on my knees. It's a result of tick I do when I'm nervous/anxious/pissed off. I run my hands up and down my knees, digging into them—something I haven't done in half a year.

Mr. Bronson, like the quick man he is, opens the car door for me, helping me out. I watch him take a brief look at my knees. "I'll be waiting for your return, Y/N." I thank him and make my way to the building entrance. Thankfully no paparazzi are around, well, as far as I know. They snagged that picture of Elizabeth and me from the park, so who knows where those fuckers are.

I greet the doorman and go to walk in before being stopped. I look to the doorman stopping me. "I was just here. I'm a guest of Liz's- um, Ms. Olsen." I grit my teeth. The doorman looks me up and down. "I'm sorry, Miss, I believe you're mistaken." He begins to escort me backward without touching me.

"Really, we're doing this?" I spit out at this man. "Miss, please don't make this a bigger situation." I look up at this man. "Are you kidding me?"

"What seems to be the problem?" I turn around to see Mr. Bronson. The doorman explains how I was trying to trespass and refusing to leave the premises. Fucking prick. Mr. Bronson knows this dude is full of shit, but he pretends to listen to be polite. "Listen, I can assure you that Miss. Y/N is a respected guest of Ms. Olsen, and if you could kindly grab Mr. Madison, he can match my claim."

Mr. Bronson is MVP of the night tonight. When the doorman turns around to fetch Mr. Madison, I turn to Mr. Bronson to thank him, but he looks down at me and winks. "No problem, kid."

Mr. Madison returns without the other doorman. He opens the door, lets me in, and thanks, Mr. Bronson. "I apologize, Miss. Y/N for the trouble that has been caused to you tonight." Getting in the door isn't even my most significant issue tonight. "I'm just thankful you could help me out, Mr. Madsion." He nods, continuing to walk me to the elevator. Once I'm inside, he bids me goodnight.

Like the drive over, the elevator ride feels like it's taking its sweet time. Once the ride stops and the lift dings, I mentally prepare myself as best as I can. The doors open, and I step out into the same hallway I was in hours ago—each step to Elizabeth's door echos throughout my body.

And here I am outside her door.

I knock a couple of times and wait.

Liz POV (earlier)

I cautiously make my way over, unlocking and opening the door.

"Robbie?" I let slip out in my shock.

"Hi, Lizzie." He croaks out. I look at the man in front of me up and down. This is not the man I left in Richmond. The Robbie in front of me has let his beard untrimmed, his face looks beat up, and his clothes seem to hang off of him. I look up into his eyes. The redness and bags hanging off of them tell me everything I need to know.

I've destroyed him.

"May I come in?" I nod and gesture for him to enter. He thanks me and walks in. With his back turned to me, I wipe my now sweat-covered hands off. I watch as Robbie takes a look over everything. "Could I get you anything?" Robbie turns to me. "Just a water would be fine, please, and thank you."

I continue watching Robbie make his way to the couch. He cautiously sits down and waits. I fill up a glass of water and bring it to him. He graciously takes it as I sit down a couch cushion over from him. He takes a sip and places his glass on a coaster. "I know you hate water stains." Robbie and I both give one another a weak smile.

"So where-" "How hav-" We both start simultaneously. "Go ahead." I nod at Robbie.

Robbie briefly smiles before looking off, thinking. I am mentally trying to prepare myself for anything he might ask, but the truth is I don't have an answer for any of them.

"Before we start, Liz, I want you to know that I did not come here to argue." Robbie points his eyes to mine. He's being truthful. "I came here because we left a lot of things unsaid the last time we saw each other. I hurt you." I watch as his bottom lip starts to quiver. "I'm sorry for that. Truly. And um." Robbie breaths in. "I want us to talk about everything from Richmond to now. It doesn't matter in which order. I hope you understand."

"Y-yes," I reply through a broken voice.

Robbie's eyes glance over at me. I can tell he is thinking about how to start. After minutes of silence, a question breaks through the air. "What's their name?" I was hoping we wouldn't start with Y/N, but I can't blame him. "Y/N." I squeak out. Robbie nods, muttering the name back to himself. I also want to ask him questions, but I want Robbie to do it himself. If I start asking, it'll feel like I'm trying to steer the conversation another way.

"This whole time, I thought you were in L.A. Or maybe I just hoped you were." Robbie shrugs. I let my shoulders drop. "Robbie, I- I'm sorry." Robbie shakes his head. "I thought about you every day." Robbie offers. "I thought about you too." I retort, hoping to give him a tiny shred of happiness.

"Were you gonna come back?" The pain in Robbie's voice every time he speaks is like a stab to the heart. "Yes." "For me or your job?" I bite my bottom lip before replying. "Both." A whispered, "Okay." Falls from Robbie's mouth as he goes to take a sip of water. "I should have been more forthcoming and clear from the start. It wasn't my intention to hurt you and make you leave."

I nod. Robbie sees it and falls back into silence. I know it wasn't, but I was blinded by it all at the moment.

"What the hell are you saying!? You want to break up? Is this about what happened on set?" Robbie sighs. "Lizzie, that's not what I'm saying at all!" I throw my hands up, walking away. "Oh, really, Robbie? You just told me you've been thinking that we should take a break and slow down!" Robbie follows after me. "Lizzie! I'm just saying that we've both been way too stressed and busy with everything. Maybe we should slow down!"

I walk up the stairs and into our bedroom door, closing it and locking it behind me. "Lizzie." Robbie tries opening the door but stops when he realizes it's locked. "Babe." I sit on our bed, ignoring him, trying to catch my breath. I'm on the verge of an attack.

I hear Robbie take a seat outside the door. I run my hand through my hair, remembering the last time he asked for something like this.

We were only a couple of months into our relationship. When I was asked if we could slow things down. I was hesitant, but I agreed. His band was starting to do well, and I was being booked more frequently, so it seemed like a good decision. Only for a couple of weeks later, Robbie showed up in the middle of the night profusely apologizing, slurring his words, saying, "she meant nothing." I know he wasn't lying but yeah, it fucking hurt. What hurt even more, was how much Robbie hurt himself over it. That night he showed up. He had cuts up and down his biceps.

So yes, Robbie is right. We've both been stressed as of late. Yes, we barely feel like a couple at times. But I can't help but think about before.

"Is- Is thi- Is this like last time, Robbie?" I ask through the closed door. I hear him shuffle. "Not at all." His voice sounds sincere. Robbie tries the door again, Still locked. "Lizzie, I'm just saying that." He pauses. "That we both haven't felt each other in a while. It just seems like we're here just to be here. Maybe slowing things down and taking a step back might be good."

I break down. I stifle my cries through my palms. I didn't want to hear this. I don't want a repeat of last time. I believe Robbie when he says that's not his intention or plan, but you never know. I try to gather up as much oxygen as I can. I look around the room and make a choice.

_

Before Robbie knew it, I had two bags packed up. I shuffled my way past him and down the stairs. Robbie pleads for me to answer any of his questions, but I can't focus on that. If I stop, my body will betray me. Before I make it out the main door, Robbie asks. "Lizzie, is this it?"

I don't turn towards him, but I answer. "I just need to think about this. Us. I'll call you when I land."

"Robbie." Robbie watches me scoot closer towards him. "Take off your coat and roll up your sleeves," I ask him in a calming tone. I don't want to force him, but I need to know. How is looking at me hurts. He thinks I'm judging him, but I want to ensure it didn't happen. Robbie stands up. He removes his coat, setting it down on the arms of the couch. Robbie shuts his eyes as if he's trying to hide from the world. He carefully rolls up his sleeves.

Robbie stops at his elbows. I stand up and carefully take an arm in my hand: no marks or anything. Robbie still hasn't opened his eyes. I gently place my hand on his elbow, and I start rolling up the sleeves some more.

I take a sharp breath in when I see the first cut. I look up at Robbie's eyes closed and ashamed. I keep pulling up. One cut turns into two, which turns into five. I stop when Robbie places his hand over mine. He's looking at me through tears. "I'm sorry." I don't respond. Instead, I pull him into a hug. Both of us take it as a sign to let the tears fall.

Standing here brings me back to this morning when Y/N held me.

After a while, Robbie whispers something into the top of my head. I pull back, not knowing what it was. "What was that babe- Robie?" Robbie unwraps himself from me and takes a seat at the kitchen island. I sit on the couch cushion closest to him.

"I don't remember doing most of these." I know he is talking about his arms, but he doesn't remember? I raise an eyebrow, confused. Robbie sees it and explains. "Since you left, I haven't been taking care of myself. Well obviously. But I- I've been-" He pauses, but I already know the answer. I knew it from the second he walked in.

"You've been drinking," I say, catching me off guard. Robbie accepts my tone. "The day I decided to call you, after not hearing from you. I woke up on our kitchen floor at 5 P.M." Robbie pauses as he runs his fingers through his beard. "I don't remember the previous night." Robbie lets out a weak chuckle. "As I said, I thought you were in L.A. this whole time. Then I saw the pictures."

I drop my head into my hands. I regret not telling Robbie where I was and if I was safe. I can't imagine the hell that was running through his mind. Because I know I've been there consistently worrying about your partners' well-being for them to be silent.

"Liz." I turn my head up to Robbie. I swear, for a second, I thought it was Y/N. "Yes?" "In Richmond, I asked if we could slow down. That was a terrible way of saying that, but I did it because we were both stressed about the wedding, your show and movie, and my band. But I just wanted us to be in a good position for our future." Robbie gets up and comes closer to me. He sits down in front of me on the floor.

"Lizzie, I believe I still want that." Robbie gently reaches for my hands. I place them in his. "But I'm not going to lie before you left, it felt like for the weeks prior- It felt like we were never on the same page. We just didn't feel each other anymore. Did you feel that way?" Robbie brushes his thumb over my engagement ring. A tear falls from my face at that action.

"Yes. I didn't feel you anymore, Robbie." Robbie lets out a disappointed sigh. "Is there anything I could've done?" My lips quiver at that question because the truth is. "I don't know." I watch Robbie think.

"Robbie, when you said what you said, yes, it hurt me not because it was coming from you but because I already knew it. I knew for a while. I was scared, and I didn't want to face the truth. Robbie, I still love you. I do. But-"

"But it's not there anymore." I nod at Robbie as tears and sniffles fill the room. Robbie gets up from the floor and sits down next to me. I turn to him so we can hold each other for what might be the final time.

_

Being held by Robbie was about the last thing I expected to happen today. But it's something I needed. I'm still kicking myself over how I acted in Richmond. I have anxiety, and for me to treat Robbie how I did when he was being open with me... I'll never forget.

"Lizzie," Robbie whispers, breaking me out of my head. "It's okay. I'll be okay." I cup his face, nodding. "I want to help Robbie." Robbie places his hands over mine. "Lizzie, I- I don't. I- I've been talking with a doctor in L.A. and talked to someone from the Crisis Text Line."

"Robbie I-"

"Don't worry, Lizzie. I know that look on your face. It's one of the reasons I love you. You want to help no matter what. But this is something I have to do for myself. I leave tomorrow morning. No matter how our conversation went, I was still returning to L.A. I just wanted to know if we would be together or not."

"I'm sorry, Robbie-

"Elizabeth." This time Robbie is holding my face. "Stop apologizing. I know what's going on in that head. What's happening between us right now is happening in the most mutual way possible. Plus, you didn't force me to make the actions that I did." Robbie wipes away the tears I have.

"I understand, Robbie, but please, I at least want to do something. Let me come with you to your first visit. Is it tomorrow?" Robbie shakes his head no. "It's in a couple of days when you should be back in London. I planned it that way." I shut my eyes hurt. I know it is for the best, but ow.

I hear Robbie sigh. "Tomorrow afternoon, I'm going to an AA meeting back home. I don't believe I have an addiction per se, but we both know what the last few days have done to me, and not for the first time. So if you want to help, you can make sure I make it to that meeting. Plus, being in L.A. for even a day can make it so I can start moving out."

"Moving out? What Robbie no-"

"Lizzie, we're-" Robbie looks at me, confused. "We're-"

"I know, but as you said, I'm going to be in London. So it'll be easier for you to stay at our- the house. I trust you, Robbie." I pause. I want to say more, but I don't want to make things more upsetting or worse. "You're still my friend." I smile at him.

"Just friend, not best friend?" We both let out a deserved laugh. Robbie looks up into my eyes like it's his last time. "Thank you for everything, Lizzie." I frown, not letting the waterworks start up again. "Thank you, Robbie." We pull each other into another hug before releasing one another. Robbie goes to get up. I watch him curiously.

"This is a little weird, but could I use your bathroom before I head out?" "Robbie, you're not seriously considering leaving right now, are you?" "Well, yeah?" I shake my head no. "You're staying here tonight. No offense Robbie you look like hell. You need a shower and a good night's sleep. Plus, I want to know you're safe. So please stay here tonight." I get up, walking closer to my now ex.

"Are you sure?" Robbie is hesitant, and I get it. "Mm-hmm," I reply. I get closer and closer until I wrap my arms around him. "Plus, I can make us breakfast in the morning before our flight." Robbie puts his arms around me. "I'm going to miss your famous waffles." I unsling myself from Robbie. "What about my anchovy toast?" This causes us to both crack up. "Only a little," Robbie says through a smile I haven't seen in a long time.

_

After helping Robbie find towels and clothes, he could wear later tonight. I helped him get out of his shirt and pants, and even though Robbie told me this was unnecessary, I still wanted to help, plus a part of me was curious to see if he was self-harming anywhere else. Thankfully he wasn't. I started a nice bubble bath for him as he laughed at all the effort I was putting in. But I don't mind.

Robbie sits on the edge of the tub next to me as we wait for the bath to fill up. "Elizabeth?" I turn to him," What's up?" "I just want you to know that if anything did happen between you and Y/N, I'm not mad. You seem happy with Y/N." A smile creeps on my face. I am happy with her. "I figured," Robbie replies, looking away. "We both know I've made mistakes in the past, so I can't blame you if anything happened."

As awkward as it is, to hear Robbie say it was lovely. I thanked him before stealing his phone, so I could start a soothing, calming playlist so he could enjoy as much of his bath as possible.

Robbie thanked me for everything and escorted me out of the bathroom. According to him, it's weird for my ex to watch me bathe. I guess he's not wrong. I clean my face and eyes before exiting. Closing the multiple doors from the bathroom makes the playlist nonexistent, which is good because right now, I could use a moment to think. To think about myself. To think about Robbie and mines future apart. To think about Y/N.

My mind begins filling with Y/N before a set of knocks interrupts me.

After being surprised visited by MK and Robbie, this time, I decide to check the door's peephole."Y/N?" I say to myself.

I unlock and open the door. "Y/N? Why are you here? Are you okay?" I look Y/N up and down. She doesn't seem happy or sad. She looks hurt and upset with a mix anger. "Y/N?" I feel the tension being built between us.

"I never knew the Olsen twins had a sister."

Pt. 8

A/N

If you or anyone you know self-harm I just want you to know that you're not a bad person. We all have shit going on with us. Self-harm is not a mental disorder. It is a behavior - an unhealthy way to cope with strong feelings. The important thing is recognizing it. Talking to someone, anyone who you think can help, is always a good idea.

Here is the Crisis Text Line. Text HOME to 741741 to reach a volunteer Crisis Counselor.

Sorry to leave it on a cliffhanger but don't worry, next chapter! Stay safe, everyone.

If you have any comments or ideas, leave them <3

#fanfic #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen x reader #y/n #OTIWEO #lizzie olsen #sorry #drama? #robbie arnett #cheating #talks #oof #DRAMA #the drama #bi drama #angst #not fluff

[lady-charinette]

42 Strategies to Endure a Merciless Job

Title: “42 strategies to endure a merciless job”

Author: Classified

Codename: Twilight

Publishing date: Classified

Pages: Undetermined

Thirteen years marked the end of the Westalis-Ostanian conflict, the citizens of the unified country adjusted well to a life absent from war.

As did one little family from the upper middle class.

Sylvia smiled against the rim of her coffee mug, eyeing her long time friend and the greatest spy WISE had ever trained. "You're sure you want to go through with this, agent?“

The man smiled, taking  a sip from his own coffee mixed with milk, the lines around his eyes softening the usual sharp edge they had to them.  They almost looked like the clear sky on a sunny day instead of the raging waves of the sea. "Positive. And I'm no longer an agent.“

The smirk on his face could've been mistaken for mockery, but Slyvia knew better. It was relief and a hint of irony. "That you aren't…Loid. I'm surprised you kept it.“

"…I guess I grew into the name.“

Sylvia offered a chuckle, raising  a brow at the small stack of photos on the coffee table. "I know it's not intel, what are the pictures of?“

Loid glanced down at the photographs in front of him before scooping them up and showing them to Sylvia one by one. "My family.“

Sylvia returned to HQ to a orchestra of noise, agents preparing for missions, briefings taking place, handlers training their rookies. Despite the reigning peace in the country, WISE had been allowed to continue operating under authority of a unified country, with the promise to serve and protect against foreign intelligence threats as well as domestic ones. The reaper demanded a high price be paid for the sake of keeping peace, Sylvia wasn’t about to trick the shepherd out of his own pocket.

She turned around when she heard the familiar voice of one of her own rookies. “W-Wow, look at this! This is the manual from Westalis best spy in the entire world! It’s really him!” one of the new recruits held the manual up in the air like a precious child for the world to see, it’s smooth leather cover suggested it had only been recently available to the rest of WISE for research material or that it had been greatly taken care of when read.

Sylvia couldn’t resist a smile, choosing to observe the unfolding spectacle from the safe distance of her desk. It hadn’t been that long since that file got cleared for release within HQ and yet, the rookies were all over it already.

Word spread fast.

A blond-haired rookie approached his friend and glanced over at the name of the author. “Huh? Did Twilight write this himself? Are you sure this isn’t a scam?”

“THIS IS WHAT THE HANDLER GAVE ME! LOOK! Even though the author’s real name is classified, his codename is written on it instead! It has to be him!” shouted the brown-haired rookie.

WISE’s third and last recruit, Klaus, adjusted his glasses, carefully studying the guidebook once his friend handed it to him. “Wow, even after the man retired, they still protect his real identity, huh?”

“Yeah, can’t say I blame them. Dude must have a whole country and then some as his enemies.” They all nodded in agreement. Agent Twilight had been one of the key figures in ending the war between Ostania and Westalis, of course, he must’ve made many an enemy in his lifetime.

Reading through the contents page, one recruit reminded. “Didn’t he marry an Ostanian woman?”

“I thought it was an Ostanian man?” Klaus interjected. Sylvia hid her smile behind her hand.

“I thought it was that famed assassin of Garden, Thorn Princess, or something.” The blonde-haired rookie, Bellham and his brown-haired friend, Nikolai, could only glance at him in bewilderment.

“Dude, the Thorn Princess? Greatest assassin of that shady organization Garden? No way, she would’ve diced him up before anything.”

“Wait, didn’t the retired informant Franky Franklin and Twilight have a fling-“

Bellham clapped his hands to gain his colleague’s attention. “Agents! You’re all missing the point, these are THE Twilight’s tips on how to become the best spy in WISE!”

Klaus rose an eyebrow and pointed at the fine print on the second page. “…It says here it’s a manual for how to survive the job.”

Bellham sighed. “…Well, yes, that. But surely we can become great spies like Twilight himself if we follow his advice, right? Handler Sherwood is training us on top of that, so surely we could become big names in no time!”

“Alright, alright, let’s just open it and see what’s written in it.”

All three rookies took a deep breath, before slowly flipping the paper to land on the first page.

Strategy 1: Kill your emotions.

You may think of “kill all your emotions” as a good strategy, but a spy is all about emotions. The right ones at the right times.

Klaus rubbed his chin in thought. “A spy is all about emotions? What does he mean?”

Nikolai shrugged, chuckling. “I thought we were getting all our emotions regularly beat out of us here. Did Handler use the belt on you guys yet?”

“T-the belt?!” Bellham’s eyes grew wide, clutching at his stomach protectively.

Just what sort of training regimen did their handlers have?

“Anyway, I think it may be better to read the rest later. We have a disassembly and reassembly course in a few minutes in the armory, I don’t know about you guys but I don’t want to suffer any punishment for being late.” Klaus grabbed his gear and went ahead.

Nikolai followed suit but stopped to turn towards Bellham. “Hey, you coming?”

“Y-Yes!” he quickly flipped the guidebook shut and carefully packed it into his bag, making sure the zipper didn’t accidentally damage the leather encasing.

Sylvia had already been waiting on them, gone was the mellow aura from her meeting with Twi- Loid, replaced by the unshakeable force of the Fullmetal Lady herself.

It was late afternoon when Bellham finally left WISE HQ, his joints ached, the exhaustion filled every nook and cranny of his body.

His schedule had been full today, then handler had taken him and his fellow rookies to watch an instructional video about the ways of resisting emotional and psychological manipulation should they ever be caught in an interrogation by the enemy. That had been right before Sylvia had subjected them to a two-hour verbal onslaught of psychological manipulation followed by a subsequent analysis of each-other’s emotional resistance by their fellow rookies.

Even though peace was settled between the two former countries, it was slowly but surely flourishing under the joined rule, enemies and followers of the old regimes were still lurking about, silently planning their coup if any of the agencies let their guard down.

Bellham allowed himself to fall flat on his back, the soft mattress beneath his body cushioning the impact and tickling an exhausted groan out of the 22-year old.

Despite the exhaustion of today’s work, Bellham couldn’t dislodge the strategy he read from the retired agent Twilight’s guidebook.

‘Kill your emotions.’

‘A spy is all about emotions. The right ones at the right times.’

Bellham sighed and turned on his side, a fruitless attempt at a more comfortable sleeping position. ‘But how does anyone know what emotions to show at what time? We’re trained spies, shouldn’t we keep our poker face on at all times? Agent Twilight must’ve had his reasons for writing this as a successful strategy, he is revered by everyone in the agency, he’s a legend. A hero. Someone like him must have every specific part of his day planned to the minute with, like, six emergency plans in place.’

Eyes growing heavier with sleep, Bellham murmured into the soft material of his pillow. “If I follow your instructions…will I become a great spy too?”

_______

“Yor, have you seen my glasses anywhere?” Loid rummaged through Anya’s old drawings and this morning’s newspaper articles in search of the missing item.

His wife hid her smile behind her hand before she went on her tiptoes in front of him. “I think I know where they are.”

Loid blinked in confusion when he realized they’d been sitting atop his head the whole time. With a genuinely sheepish grin, Loid took his glasses from her and thanked his wife. “Thank you, Yor. I guess I’m starting to lose my touch, huh?”

Yor tenderly caressed her husband’s cheek with a smile, the same old blush still coloring her cheeks into that lovely shade of red he adored so much. “No, you’re just being you.”

With a sweet kiss to his flustered wife’s cheek, Loid Forger started his day with a big smile on his face and feather light feeling in his heart.

Thanks for reading!

#sxf #spy x family #sxf au #spy x family au #spy family #loid forger #yor forger #anya forger #sylvia sherwood #twiyor #loiyor #loidyor #sxf fic #my fic #my fics

[zippverschluss]

ep 9 notes

haven't checked the tag yet, need to sort through / document my thoughts first.

i'm a bit... disappointed, i guess? but i think that's owed to my expectations. after a week of collective theorizing i was (not so) secretly hoping for a sauruman VS gandalf style face off and so what we got felt a bit... pedestrian?

so i guess the gardener did hurt him after all, just not the 'shears-in-your-body' kind of inury? i honestly thought he'd stick to stalking.

speaking of which, i'll be disappointed if it's really garden dude using nayeon and not the other way round. nayeon being skilled in black magic and just using / playing men left and right to reach her own various ends and satisfy her needs would have elevated the character immensely. feels a bit disrespectful tbh.

speaking of disrespect, i suspected as much, but still... how can they have the mother not know? like honestly? how can her asshole husband tell the woman his son just broke up with about the illness but not his wife? i reeeaaally want hj to hex him... like, make him step on a lego everyday of his life. or have shampoo get into his eyes. something like that.

back in ep. 3 when sy saw hj in the dress and just last episode, we focused on his right hand. same happend during the proposal scene in ep. 5 and yesterday in the hospital with nayeon. i guess that holds significance?

were sy and ny ever intimate with each other?

i liked how they filmed the nightmare hj had.

also, how ambigious jg still feels. though i'm leaning towards ally who hasn't realized yet that he missed his shot. (also, does jg know the mayor is dirty? the mayor is dirty, right? playing footsie with the haum ceo? is that why he poached sy? to take on the mayor? and if he doesn't know, doesn't that just really undercut his character?)

did garden dude hit sy with some magic to make him black out? did that magic bring back his past memories? i thought he remembered when he woke up in the hospital.

but then i really don't understand the artistic decision process behind the scene in front of the hospital. that scene made (makes) me think i must be mistaken? how can he remember loving / killing her 300 years ago and the first thing he asks about is the in house messenger? (yeah, i know, he wanted her to go back on her word...) but even if he wanted to not let on, where were the longing / pining / loving eyes from last episode? the whole thing just felt very bland and weird.

also, poor rowoon. they obvs. didn't find hospital pants long enoug for him.

also, pls. don't push sick / hospitalized people. you don't know what tubes / needles they have sticking in or out of them. drama writers, find other ways to initiate physical touch. (just as lazy as drunk alley dude in ep 2).

i cared about ma and go for the first time. that scene was funny. i don't appreciate that once again show insinuates that a man is needed to keep a home in order, but since ma is freshly divorced it is plausible. for a moment i thought he was gonna choke her out or pass out himself. lol

also, re the hug, 'what kind of man asks that beforehand?'. the kind that respects boundaries and gives you the chance to say no? uncool ma, uncool show.

i guess no tentative friendships at work, but passive-aggressiveness?

loved the fireworks and the traditional music. was my favourite part of the episode. that slapped. wished they would have kept that music for the romantic scene.

there's still the option that him wholeheartedly embracing his feelings for hj brought upon the past memories. in which case that must be one long-ass hug. still, i'd prefer that scenario over the hospital-dream one. embracing his feelings because he remembers cheapens it a bit imo. its prob. the latter though seeing how he asked his mom about past lives.

his parents' bickering is getting on my nerves.

this episode felt really disjointed. i understand the cuts / edits were to not reveal too much, but at this point i'm just really annoyed by it.

for that reason bridge scene didn't have the impact it prob. should have had since i wasn't really sure what was going on?

spell scene too short, dress not as strange / pretty. but loved the music. also, what spell did she use? seduction?

i liked the child actors surprisingly much. i liked it even more that already as a child she had shaman capabilities.

i know tall people fall in love too, but man those hugs looked uncomfortable.

there's many other thoughts in my head but lastly: i guess only him remembers the past out of the two of them. i don't like that. at all. after 8 episodes it finally felt like they were on somewhat even footing when it came to knowledge about magic, spells, curses.... having only him remember once again means he knows more and is the proactive one, whereas she is only reacting and being driven by him. (but, if only him remembers, how can we as an audience see the things that only she can know? being brought to the shaman as a child? her premunition of the bloody hand?)

on that note, i hope the next kiss is initiated by hj. would be nice to see her express her desires / feelings. 3 kisses in and it's always him planting one on her. reciprocity is hot!! gimme gimme gimme!

#destined with you #ramblings #zippy can't zip it #stream of consciousness #free flow #i like this writing exercise #might need to keep this for other things #episode 9 and still more questions #i couldn't help but feel the writer doesn't like women very much? #like some decisions just felt really disrespectful #bordering on misogynistic #saving grace is that the dudes are unsympathetic as well #poor wookie #shin-yu was really harsh #but he wanted to see his women #needs to do it in secret though cause technically he's still two-timing #also rowoon looked huge in the crowd-shots on the bridge #did hong-jo's hair change? #it did no? #i wish we could have seen a bit more of her falling for him #i really want a hong-jo / nayeon and shin-yu / haum ceo showdown

[reel-fear]

👁️👁️

You must tell 👀

*rubs my little hands together* sorry for taking a bit on answering this! My brain has not been braining lately but your ask couldn't have come at a better time bc Grant has been on the mind as of late and I am hyped at the excuse to infodump abt him- [this is gonna be long I am so sorry-]

now for quick disclaimers for anyone reading this that isnt the asker or me- we're not discussing canon Grant Cohen, we're talking my Grant, this black haired dude, that guy. Another fun disclaimer, I was HEAVILY, inspired by Grant's role/character in abomination for my Grant. Taking time to awknowledge every part of his character or story that was inspired by it would make this 10x longer so if similarities are spotted know its very likely I did that on purpose bc I just really love abomination KJHFSDGKJDHGSD-

Alright with that outta the way I'ma talk a lot abt what happens to Grant in the canon of Showtime to explain what I meant and also maybe a bit of me rambling about aus that explore Grants relationship with Sammy n Joey under a more romantic lens. Should be obvious but spoilers for It's Showtime down below~

So Grant in Showtime after he dies ends up joining the ink demon cult, becoming a lost one and earning the title of The Priest.

When the cult was all together him and Sammy worked together to run it. Sammy used his connection to the ink demon to recieve messages and learn more on how to survive in this new situation and Grant made sure the lost ones acted accordingly. [A role not so far off from the one he was forced to take when the studio started facing troubles before his death] Grant also took the job of dealing with sacrificing souls and sending them back to the dark puddles, which sometimes was members of the following chosen at random and sometimes whatever poor soul found themselves captured by them.

However when Malice rose from the puddles and made a deal with the Projectionist to seize a considerable amount of the studio as theirs, the cult was split up, Sammy and Jack forced to flee to the music department and Grant with the rest of the following being down in the area of Chapter 4. This put Grant in a very bad spot, the lost ones were very shaken by this event and since then Grant worries their faith in him has wavered.

An important thing with the ink demon cult was that it is meant to be a more realistic take on how a cult works. The Ink Demon runs the cult, he is the most powerful figure in it and yet the hardest to contact, so Grant and Sammy are little more than middlemen tasked with keeping things running or else they face the ink demon's wrath. Sammy is sadly very aware that the ink demon is not as benevolent as he or the lost ones would like the believe. Grant likes to think being the Priest will at the very least protect him if things go wrong, but he is sadly mistaken.

Grant is in a very dangerous spot, he knows the lost ones beneath him are getting angsty and worried about just how truthfully safe the cult is or if they should believe in the power of the ink demon. But he also knows if things fall apart the lost ones will come to tear him apart long before they go for the ink demon. Despite him merely being a puppet for their lord. A role Grant is not ready to acknowledge, not because he isn't smart enough to see he is just a pawn, but because he chooses not to think about it, less his paranoia eat him alive yet again... A very important thing to keep in mind with Grants character.

Grant did in fact play this role in life as well however, when things started going wrong in the studio, Joey was very quick to turn away from what was going on and continue asserting everything would be fine. Which while a lie he himself believed was a lie nonetheless. However Grant quickly became his right hand man as people like Thomas and Wally started noticing cracks forming all through out the studio. Staff going missing, the ink changing in the way it behaved and an eerie feeling the machine created in both of them.

Grant despite deep down being smart enough to know things were going poorly, parroted Joey's words, hanging off of them himself and doing whatever he could to shut down any attempts to bring to light the things going wrong. Of course, him and Joey both ended up paying the price for their lies, but so did everyone else around them. But unlike Sammy, Grant barely even seemed shaken to see that, like a conspiracy theorist seeing evidence their theory isn't true only makes them double down harder, Grant only seemed to double down on the idea that if he followed every order he was given. Surely things would turn out better this time.

So that's canon to the story of Showtime, but I do want to take a second to get some AU non canon ideas out of my brain centering around Grant and his relationship to both Joey n Sammy. In canon Grant's only romantic interest is Thomas, his literal husband and there is a lot of interesting conflict there, but I fucking love shipping so of course I have a million aus merely indulging in ships I think would also be interesting to explore in their own contexts. In this case, I'm gonna ramble a bit about Sammy x Grant and Grant x Joey and the interesting things I think there are to explore in their relationships in Showtime.

So you might've noticed that while not literally [as saying the ink demon is Joey in Showtime, while somewhat true, is not the entire truth of the situation and simplifies it quite a bit] Grant did end up following Joey to the grave... And then kept following him beyond it. Something that is objectively~ very queer of him.

There's just something so compelling about the idea of Grant yearning for Joey so much, being so close yet so far as his right hand man but not being brave enough to become his lover eventually drove Grant's love for Joey to become an outright obsession. The idea that Grant's feelings for Joey became so intense from how hard he pushed them down it blinded him from seeing the truth of the situation outside of the way Joey painted it. Then dying and his obsession turning into an outright worship of him.

The idea of Grant settling for just being Joey's favorite lackey, his most loyal pet and knowing that's his role but not caring bc at least it makes him stay by Joey's side. Ohh it's an interesting one to say the least. I even did a few sketches of them u can see-

They are doomed by the narrative to me and have been on my mind a lot lately can ya tell? KJDHSFGKJHDFSGKJHDFGSD

However when it comes to Sammy and Grant, I think there is a lot of interesting potential between them too. After all they share being the Ink Demon's henchmen in all of this and to see them both come to terms with that and try to find comfort in each other is such a fun idea to me.

An au where they both decide to ditch the cult and the ink demon and on their own try to figure out what happened to Joey and how to fix things is very compelling to me. I could see their relationship starting out as doing all these things for each other under the excuse they just need comfort until it starts to turn to actual feelings for each other. Both of them coming to terms with the fact Joey was not in fact a perfect person and maybe didn't even know how bad things were getting deep down himself but also finally letting themselves hold him accountable for the lies he told... It's a very fun healing narrative and very in line with a lot of the themes It's Showtime deals with.

Either way, I just really love what I've done with Grant's character in It's Showtime, he's for sure one of the most fascinating to me and the themes his story explores are ones that are important to the story as a whole and by extension me. Umm this turned out very long but I hope u enjoyed the read! Tysm for the excuse to infodump abt him, I was itching for one as u can see KDJHGKJDHFGKJDHFGSD.

#ramblez #dont think Ill main tag this since its very rambley and contains spoilers for its showtime- #but its okay to reblog n such #esp since I dont care tooooo much for spoiling my own stories #for me my stories should hold up regardless of whether or not youre surprised by what happens in em #but if anyone does care abt spoiling Showtime for themselves if or when I make it an actual fan game/story #do beware of this post KDJHFSGKJFGHJSD #sammy x grant #grant x joey #grammy #death and taxes #Music Multiplied #I think those are the ship names? #mostly for blacklisting reasons on here but if I can feed those crackships at least a little with this rant hey good for them <3 #anyways fun tag secrets Ill put some fun trivia abt my grant in here #he uses the tommy gun instead of alice in showtime its joeys gun but he has it after everything goes to crap he mostly only uses it #just to keep norman away from the cult tho just know he is armed and dangerous and feral and unhinged and- #the cages in the chapter 4 area are used by grant as punishment for those who speak out or for people who havent yet come around to #worshipping the ink demon. obviously people in cages take priority as sacrifice options #my grant might struggle from a paranoia disorder I based him more off my own expierences and a bit off of research on ppl with OCD #Im not confident enough in my understanding of OCD to diagnose him with it straight up but he does almost for sure struggle with some sort #of paranoia disorder #anyways thats it tyty for the ask again and sorry for writing #five hundred paragraphs in response-

[cosmicgrapevine]

Tabby sat with her legs crossed, not daring to move a muscle. They were easily a thousand feet up at the moment. There was really nothing keeping her from falling to her death, other than her own stillness, but she felt safe anyway. Lynd steered, and she wrapped her arms over him, like they were sharing a Harley speeding down an empty highway. “Why do you think he didn’t rat on us?” She asked. “Spite, I imagine. Travis was his captor, not us.” Tabby turned the mirrors over; she was holding them so they wouldn’t slip out of Lynd’s coat. “We should just keep these. Hold them for ransom so Florentino will let you in.” “I would rather not try to extort the most powerful Warden in the country, but…hm. Never mind, I’m surely mistaken.” “No, keep going.” “It’s just…the words he used. I kept mulling them over last night. ‘No power on Earth’. ‘Out of my hands’. And even if a sailor cannot stop the tides, he can navigate them. Wardens choose their words carefully, just like everything else. Perhaps he is saying there is a path, but I must discover it on my own. But if it exists, it will be near impossible to find.” “Let’s say we find it. You make it to Kahoti, what’s first on your list?” “Well…you said Melanie is already attending school again. I would like to join her.” Tabby started laughing, so loud that she worried someone on the ground would hear. “Dude,” she said, wiping a tear from her eye, “You did not risk death for weeks on end just to go to fucking high school, gimme a break. Like, hold out for college, at least.” “Markstepper education is very informal, focused on survival and pragmatics. I know nothing of history or the sciences…I can barely read, surely you have noticed; I learned all those languages by speech alone. And I cannot even drive a car: the whole ride down, I felt so useless. Where else would I learn these things?” “Look, it’d be great if that’s how it worked, just show up and say ‘I need knowledge! Teach me!’ But it’s not. Even if they let you in without an ID and stuff, you’re gonna do things their way. Their classes, their rules, their system. And the other kids…” Tears flew from her lashes again, and not tears of laughter. “They’ll find whatever you hate about yourself and cut you with it until all that’s left is scars. Just for fun, just because they can. I’m sorry, but there’s no way they’ll accept you.” They were close to Kahoti now, its winding streets almost forming a pattern to her eyes, some small piece of Florentino’s Ward, before it slipped away again. What if this is the last time I see Lynd? She thought suddenly. Florentino doesn’t want me here; if Rita pushes him he’ll ship Dad and me back on the next flight out. She couldn’t let that be the last thing she said. “I—I mean, my last school was like that, but maybe this one’s better…” “No, you were right. Idiotic of me to think otherwise. Once I get what I need from the old man, there’s nothing for me here. Try pushing your weight downward; we’re descending soon.” His voice was flat. “There are certain lies Marksteppers tell each other. One is that the civilized world is nothing but panicky cattle who would be slaughtered without our protection. Another is that actually joining that world is the height of dishonor, an unforgivable betrayal of your clan. We beat that into each other until we never forget it. And they must not have beaten me hard enough.” His voice wasn’t flat anymore. “I want to stay.” He said it with a mix of shame and bleak acceptance, like he was confessing to a crime. “You’re the first person I’ve told,” he whispered.

#writing sample #tabby #lynd

[adultswim2021]

Robot Chicken #68: “But Not In That Way” | February 1, 2009 - 11:30PM | S04E09

Time for the Robot Chicken program that we all know and love. I will do my best to talk about this episode in a way that it deserves; dashed off and under the influence of marijuana. 

To be honest, the only sketches I hated in this were really short. The Peanuts “I got Iraq” joke really made me irrationally mad. Hulk Hogan voices a black guy at one point, which isn’t great. Not only is he a white dude, but he’s also a racist white dude! Why can’t people be pissed off at this? Terrible to think about: He has dropped far worse bombs.

Last time I covered Robot Chicken, I made the decision to go soft on it and try to focus on the positives. That’s for two reasons: the joke I hated most was the phrase “rape shoes”, and I was really struggling to figure out a way to complain about it without sounding woke. Most of the sketches I merely didn’t like and I wasn’t feeling very inspired trying to come up with ways to bury them, because they were bad for reasons I normally cite over and over again. In other words: I was being lazy. I literally just didn’t feel like coming up with words, and knew “focusing on the positive” would yield a shorter, easier write-up.

It is an unfortunate coincidence that, on the evening I decide to pledge myself to being more savage with the show, I managed to LAUGH TWICE at this episode, putting it in the running for maybe the strongest Robot Chicken episode of all time. The Inuyasha sketch was decent and had some funny lines that made me smile. Also, I legitimately perk up when Seth MacFarlane is on this show, as insane as that sounds. I must have Stockholm syndrome or something. But this was a funny idea for a sketch, and it was decently executed. The ending was lame, but usually the endings of Robot Chicken sketches are VERY BAD, so I welcome lame. 

A Punky Brewster sketch was almost good, but I really do dislike Robot Chicken’s penchant for overly jerky characters being overly jerky. I’m pleased anytime I'm asked to think about Soleil Moon Frye breasts. I simply don’t know why! 

The two actual laughs: the ALF cutaway where he calmly observes the birth of a litter of kittens and asks “is anyone here gonna freak out if I eat that afterbirth?” got me. For Robot Chicken, this is remarkably restrained. Another sketch would be about ALF trying to eat the kittens, then the mom cat fighting ALF in a zany kung-fu fight, and then when she returns to the kittens she finds they've all been smoked by Willie, mistaken for crack for some reason.

The lengthiest sketch of the show is Shawshank Redemption but set at Arkham Asylum. Lord help me, I liked the stupid detail that Batman is personally overseeing the Asylum like a prison guard. Also the poopoo humor actually caused me to laugh out loud, however briefly. There was a couple moments in this episode where the punchline was farty noises, and I hated them, because they just sounded like overused sound-effects to me.

Also, lucky for the show, one of my all-time favorite things to do when I played with action figures was to make them shit on each other. This tapped into some seriously primordial stuff in my id. 

MAIL BAG

I've heard a lot of hype on reddit and CNN about you being "the funny man of Tumblr." Any tips & tricks you want to share?

Very simple my dear girl; first 1) you gotta make funny friends then two 2) you gotta steal from those funny friends

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #robot chicken

[oraclekleo]

I love how solid you are on your opinion that he's an uninterested guy, (which btw, same as other readers which is insane! He's hard to read for because he won't give info or is extremely mysterious LOL but this anti-love energy must be so potent in his energy because this is the most consistent thing people pick up from him 😂 his unwavering opinion on dating and lack of interest in love, which sounds extremely independent, hesitant or perhaps pain from the past?) I am the same as you both tbh LOL.. it's just... he's incredibly hot and looks like a ladies man (rude stereotype I know 🙄). I don't think I've seen this level of lack of interest from a celeb? Do you think he's aromantic/asexual? That's what I'm leaning towards or perhaps he's just bored of everything? 🤣 In your last reading you said he may be diligently or "carefully" pursuing someone (at the end and that he needs everything to impress them)? On what grounds does he do something like this? Just for flings? It sounds like he met his person to me, like you said in his ideal type? If I'm not mistaken? You said he needs everything possible to impress this partner and that he's not gonna know what hit him when he meets her (you added the frowning picture at the end and made fun of him haha 😂) Idk he's contradictory 💀 but he's sexy and mysterious af so we good ❤️🥰🙄 Wbu what's the reason you're uninterested, the same as him? He always crossed me as someone who's gonna end up settling down anyway or is lowkey hoping his "one" person who's gonna completely change his mind is out there. If he does settle it's probably pressure and image purposes etc However, in my case, I am just extremely not even into the idea, I think I am and then I step out into the world and realise how comfortable and solid I am in my own presence. Freedom is most important to me and I don't think the social "norm" of relationships should stress people out. I don't very much like being owned and I haven't met someone with my mindset. Every man I meet always ends up obsessed or wanting to control/own me because I think my energy screams out that you can't have me. Not in a cocky way but I just don't have interest, I'm baffled my female family members are about that life, maybe I'm a generational chain/karma breaker lol. I'm okay like this but no one believes it 😂 it's nice to be with me and it took me a long time to come to self-love and self-actualisation, it was uncomfortable but now that I'm here, I'm so in love with life and will be damned to go back!! I think this is LSH vibe except he's a little pessimistic, I generally think he's someone who's experienced a very extreme face of love? Like obsessions and people manipulating him etc or wanting to own him completely and he looks to me he has never had a normal relationship, so I think he avoids it because it shakes his world up. Hmm idk but I think energy pulls certain energy, it's similar to empathy's pulling narcissists. That way people who aspire to be free or crave freedom meet people with anxious attachment styles and wanting to control them. I swear I could meet the most laid back dude and he ends up getting territorial idk maybe I'm just extreme but I get suffocated super easily and I realised the traditional or "social structure" and expectancy of love, marriage and kids... is just not me. I may be open to seeing things from another light if I see or meet something/someone that can change my mind or I miraculously change my own mind. They should've gotten me before I reached self-acceptance and personal fulfilment, and now I really don't want it. So when I see energy like this I get intrigued haha 😂 especially from a celeb, I think that's why he has so many singles in love with him! I love it and I'm here for it. Sorry for this, I just like your take on things and I like talking to you. Why are you like this? A little bit like me and LSH or is there something else? Thanks and love you lots 😋🥰❤️

Hello!

Woo! That's a long ask. 😂

I'm gonna take it shorter if I may.

As for Lee Soo Hyuk, intuitively I don’t get the impression of him being aromantic or asexual. He might either have an unfortunate history when it comes to relationships or maybe he’s simply not completely ready to commit himself. Every person has their own tempo of growth when it comes to their mental and spiritual and emotional state and these can actually progress at different speeds. If one of the aspects is not quite there for a relationship, he might not want to bother with it. He might be mentally ready to pursue his career now. It’s possible this brings him the biggest satisfaction. Human beings are complex. Maybe he’s waiting for the right person to come in his way. I know I have described them roughly in the ideal partner reading but the fact is that Lee Soo Hyuk and this person might never meet in real life. Or they can meet but one of them or both are not ready for the meeting at the time and they simply pass each other. The reading described the scenario when both are prepared for the commitment. And having high standards is not bad. Honestly, I wish more people actually had higher standards these days. I also think that if Lee Soo Hyuk ever meets his special person, he might feel like he needs to impress them, not because the person would demand it but he himself might feel like he won’t deserve them unless he puts the effort in. It's a well known fact that some people are their own worst and most strict critics and I feel Lee Soo Hyuk might be that kind of a person. Demanding when it comes to others but even harder on himself.

As for me… I don’t think I’m like Lee Soo Hyuk. I mean, I’m not interested in romantic relationships but I have different reasons for it. I don’t have a bad experience with love, I have no experience with it. And it’s mostly because I never felt the urge to actually love a person or to be loved by someone. To many people it just sounds straight up sad but for me… You can’t really miss something you never had. I’m actually a pretty positive person myself, happy most of the time, cheerful, I have a good sense of humour and I have courage and a certain life drive. I don’t miss being loved. Sometimes my brain comes and tells me that something is wrong with me when I don’t feel attracted to other human beings, men or women. I think I do realise I’m not completely normal but on the other hand the fact that I’m not normal isn’t affecting me negatively. I have a friend who is a perfectionist and they are really good at what they do, competent, smart, funny, knowledgeable, and have travelled a good portion of the globe. They are single simply because they have high demands but they do crave love - to love and to be loved. And they do want to have children. And the fact they couldn’t find the one person for themselves is hurting them. In my case… I’m just really happy on my own. I never wanted to have children, I never wanted to get married. Even as a little girl I didn’t play to be a mom. The part of the brain that’s responsible for wife and mom instincts is missing in my brain. Or it’s simply assigned to something else. I don’t consider myself aromantic because I like to read romantic stories now and then. I don’t consider myself asexual because I like to read some sexy parts in books as well and you know I’m interested in these things in theory because of all those kinky readings. Maybe, and it’s a huge maybe, the internal spark of my lust could be blown into flames of passion if I met the right person. However, there are like 8 billion people in this world. I don’t really hope for it to actually happen and I’m not sad about the fact it won’t happen. It could be exciting and fun to meet such a person, I could test and turn into reality all those fantasies and ideas I have but… It’s not a condition for me to be happy in life. It would also be fun and exciting to get rid of my fear of heights so I could try to bungee jump from a waterfall in South America but that’s also not gonna happen and I’m not going to be sad about it. I hope I’m making sense here. 😁

In short - Lee Soo Hyuk has a potential to fall in love for real but if he won’t I think he’s not going to suffer greatly over it. I have close to zero potential to fall in love and I’m definitely not going to suffer over it. 😂

My intention to be short was clearly false. Sorry about that. 🤣

Also! Feel free to talk to me anytime. As you see, I get a bit wordy from time to time.

Kleo

#oracle kleo #q&a #lee soohyuk

[mejomonster]

Silent Reading chapter 72 I'm absolutely screaming. 1. Fei du backstory finally! 2. Luo wenzhou saying just ASK me directly dude! I'll answer okay, you don't need to play games! 2. Fei du shocked, "did you think I asked you out... to get answers?" Baby YEAH WHO WOULDNT AT LEAST A LIL BIT. 3. FEI DUS FLIRTY ASS SMILING WHILE ASKING "ARE YOU AFRAID OF ME" (and for the record if you want a real answer, ask if he thinks you'd kill someone and what he'd do - both you know yall both dancing around THAT actual fear). 4. Luo wenzhou NOT RESPONDING lmao. To be fair fei du just put some emotional fears out (are those UR fears fei du babe?) Which just made it sound like fei du absolutely plans to play with Luo wenzhou and break his heart since he Said that shit with a smile. And then Luo wenzhou deftly handling it cause fei du is HIS hot mess so he's just like "nope I'm not responding to this shit" and fei dus like "I'll lay you out so hard you won't be able to leave the bed" and Luo wenzhou save his poor soul just drags fei du out of the car, his mind trying to cope with the fact sexy bitch fei du just really Said "afraid I might break u emotionally and fuck you Too Good" OH MY GOD

QUOTE:

Fei Du paused, then, meaning something by it or not, continued the subject. “It may have been my mistake, but I thought the old fellow was testing my ideas.”

Luo Wenzhou’s expression didn’t change. His eyes calmly turned, passing through the sheltering sunglasses to peek at Fei Du. “What ideas?”

“I don’t know. It sounded like…maybe he thought I was going to pay an assassin to butcher Su Luozhan and that crowd of pedophiles on behalf of the victims’ families.” Fei Du shrugged. “What, does it seem like my sense of justice is that strong?”

For a while, Luo Wenzhou didn’t answer. He changed his previously indolent posture, sitting up and crossing his legs, his body language clearly becoming more business-like.

“He also crossed off some old case files I’d requested for review,” said Fei Du. “I think I more or less understand. By coincidence, those cases all have some flaw. Some failed for lack of evidence, and in some the suspect submitted a diagnosis of mental disorder to show…”

“Fei Du,” said Luo Wenzhou, laughing, “was Chief Lu testing you, or are you try to get something out of me?”

At the sparsely trafficked intersection, the stoplight changed from yellow to red, and Fei Du slowly stopped the car.

“I do actually understand something of this. My shifu got drunk once and let it slip.” Luo Wenzhou was silent for a while, then said, “If I’m not mistaken, all the cases Director Lu crossed off must have been those transferred over during the original Picture Album Project?”

Fei Du hadn’t expected him to be so cooperative. He couldn’t resist giving him a look.

“Aside from the one who said he had a mental disorder, the others were all unresolved cases. At the time, the person leading the Picture Album Project combed through those cases from a different point of view, hoping to be able to find a breakthrough.”

Fei Du listened quietly.

“They were limited by the level of technology and by the passage of time. A lot of the evidence had vanished, and psychological profiling wasn’t suitable to supply evidence in court, whether from the point of view of maturity or from the point of view of credibility. In the end, these unresolved cases could only serve as research material; there was no way to bring the suspects to justice. The elders and experts involved in the Picture Album Project were stymied. Afterwards, one after another, the suspects in those cases met with misfortune.”

“What kind of misfortune?”

“Some had unusual accidents, some disappeared, and one committed suicide, leaving a note confessing to the crime. One by one, the names on their desks faded away. It was too much of a coincidence. If it wasn’t the heavens suddenly opening their eyes and bringing down retribution, then it could only be one circumstance—murder. The killer was highly intelligent and understood the victims even better than they understood themselves; furthermore, he was familiar with the police’s methods for working cases. 100%, it was one of our own people. The Picture Album Project was therefore called to an immediate halt, and everyone involved was suspended and investigated.”

At this point, Fei Du understood why, when Tao Ran had asked about the Picture Album Project at the table, Luo Wenzhou had avoided answering. The people involved in this case must all have been the cream of their profession or experts in related academic fields. If they hadn��t yet retired, by now they had probably become respected and prestigious elders and administrators.

“And after that?”

“After that, the investigation team fixed on a suspect,” said Luo Wenzhou. “I’m not too clear on the details, but there was no evidence to charge him with. This person was the key figure in the Picture Album Project. Many of my elders who participated in the project had been his students.”

Fei Du immediately asked, “Who was he?”

Luo Wenzhou shook his head. “I’m not sure. The Venerable Yang didn’t tell me. I tried investigating afterwards, and his file had been sealed. Though from what my shifu said, I think he’s dead.”

“You’re not sure,” Fei Du said quietly. “Meaning you investigated.”

Luo Wenzhou neither acknowledged it nor shook his head. “I’ve already said this much. It’s your turn to put your cards on the table.—Why did you get into Yan Security Uni? Why did you scheme so hard to be involved in the renewal of the Picture Album Project? Don’t tell me you had nothing better to do and were simply curious.”

Fei Du was silent.

The two of them sat side by side in the narrow front of the car, the distance of only a few fists separating them, but there seemed to be a thick, ice-cold wall between them.

Fei Du’s gaze flickered slightly. Luo Wenzhou seemed to hear the sound of one sluice gate after another opening in his mind as their master coolly weighed which security doors he needed to open, how much he needed to reveal, to obtain what he wanted.

When the car’s GPS showed that they were almost at their destination, Luo Wenzhou finally managed to pry a few words out of Fei Du’s mouth.

“You know I always suspected that my dad had something to do with my mom’s death,” said Fei Du. “Even though you eliminated him from suspicion, I still had that feeling. I couldn’t get rid of it. Theoretically, intuition is connected to a person’s subconscious, and I wanted to know where my deep-rooted suspicion came from, so I tried to think of a way to trace back to when I was little.

“I remember my house had a basement that only my dad had the key to and even my mom couldn’t go in, like Bluebeard’s locked room. I plotted in secret for half a year to get the key and the code, then slipped inside…”

Luo Wenzhou acutely felt his voice stop at some complication.

“…I saw an open folder on his desk, and inside…uh…” At this point, Fei Du seemed to choke on air; he began to cough. He looked outside, closed the car window, and continued somewhat hoarsely, saying, “I’m sorry, I choked.—Inside was a paper. I gave it a rough look. I was little then, I only just knew how to read. I only vaguely remember terms like ‘vicious case’ and ‘psychological trauma.’ The name on the paper was ‘Fan Siyuan.’ I investigated him later, but found that he was a mystery. Aside from his teaching at Yan Security Uni, there were no other leads.”

Luo Wenzhou didn’t reply. He could tell at once that Fei Du was talking nonsense—he’d seen all kinds of papers on his parents’ desks when he was little, and aside from the time he’d gotten hit when he’d torn up his dad’s meeting notes and folded them into an airplane, he couldn’t remember a single punctuation mark of any of them.

“Why would a businessman have that in his secret study? Don’t you think it’s strange?” Fei Du drove the police car into Heng’ai Private Hospital’s parking lot. “After I broke in, my dad stopped using the place and moved everything in it, not leaving anything behind. In all these years I still haven’t found where he put those things.—That mysterious paper is my last memory.”

“Oh,” Luo Wenzhou replied flatly. When the car had come to a stop, he unfastened his seatbelt. It was unclear whether he’d accepted Fei Du’s part true, part false explanation. “If you want to ask about something after this, you can just ask me straight out. I like to say things clearly. If I can tell you, I’ll answer right away. You don’t need to peddle sex appeal. If I can’t say, then even if my brain cells are missing half their chromosomes, I still won’t say a word. You don’t need to use such roundabout tactics against me.”

After a pause, Fei Du finally realized what he meant. “Wait, you think I asked you out because of this?”

Luo Wenzhou ignored him and went to open the door. Fei Du grabbed his shoulder.

“Shixiong.” Not only was Fei Du not angry, he was smiling. “I’ve wanted to ask for a long time, are you a little afraid of me?”

Luo Wenzhou nearly raised his eyebrows past the frames of his sunglasses. “Afraid of you? Why would I be afraid of you?”

“Afraid I’ll squander your emotions, afraid I’m not in earnest, afraid you won’t be able to control yourself with me and won’t be able to end things…” One word at a time, Fei Du said, “Which of my guesses is right?”

Luo Wenzhou’s expression sank. He lifted a hand to shake him off. “You’re overthinking…”

Fei Du said, “Or afraid I’ll make it so you can’t get out of bed?”

Luo Wenzhou: “…”

Never in his life had he seen someone who dared to boast so shamelessly. It really was an enriching experience.

Luo Wenzhou was speechless. He simply shut his mouth and pulled Fei Du out of the car.

#silent reading #lb #if pnly there were More queer murder mysteries with frenemies this deeply emltjonally tied up to Feed me like this ToT #ALSO luo wenxhou thinking fei du would be serious then his expression sinking whrm fei du turned the are you afraid into an emotional #deflection. AND FEI DU TRYING TO TURN SHIXIONG INTO A WORD AS DIRTY AS DADDY DHDHFJJF #fei du again you are conditioning yall to have SUCH specific goddamn kinks down the road