#like i'm okay being acquaintance friends with her but i have no desire to talk to her like we used to

[kulliare]

maybe the most sad / annoying / petty thing is that i don't really feel like being close to one of my best friends anymore and i swear i would still want to be close to her if covid didn't happen

#the worst part now is that since covid's vaguely calmed down that i too should be less pissy but no. #someone told me yesterday that i'm really principled which is so annoying. it would be nice to not have a stick #up my ass 24/7 but here i am #stick in ass even after a few months or even a year #and she and the guy she's fucking and that I ALSO feel petty about keep sending messages to me #and im like. i really don't want to care about you again bestie #like i'm okay being acquaintance friends with her but i have no desire to talk to her like we used to #but since we're in the same circle of friends i have to be Friendly #the thing is that i can't even claim to be on my high horse w the plague bc im unmasked sometimes but like #yeah i don't know. other stuff happened too but it's just so minor that it's like. it shouldn't have #culminated into me being like ok. well idc abt u anymore xoxo

[percheduphere]

Okay. First post trying to use gifs properly. I've switched out improper gifs for these type for my last 3-4 posts. Gonna work on some more corrections tomorrow when I have time. Please let me know if I'm misstepping anywhere. Thanks for your patience! That said...

LET'S TALK ABOUT SYLVIE💕, INTERSECTIONAL FEMINISM (SYLVIE & LOKI)✊🏽, AND QUEER REPRESENTATION (LOKIUS)🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️!

SYLVIE

I'm rooting for Lokius, AND I also love how much Sylvie has forged a life for herself in S2. A lot of her development is implied, so I think it's worth looking at her growth outside the context of Loki himself: She found a job, locals know her by name, she has friends and acquaintances, she has hobbies!

People call her by name in her timeline on 4 occasions:

1. When the McDonald's shift manager (John) checks in on her after work. See the kid with the tie in the image below. I couldn't find any gifs of him visiting Sylvie at her truck. She asked him if his mom was gonna pick him up to make sure he was gonna be okay late at night. 🥹

2. When a customer picks up their McDonald's order and thanks her (cheerfully). Also note how many employee stars she had on her badge! Queen.

3. Lyle at the record store. They seem like really good friends, and I got the "beginnings of an attraction" vibe between the two of them. Unfortunately, the gifs below are the only ones I could find of him and I'm still searching for the source. His interaction with Sylvie before spaghetti-trauma was so sincere. He could tell she was down and offered her Velvet Underground. Come on, that's a solid move.

4. Eric at the bar, who comments 2 shots of bourbon is a good choice. Let me tell you, finding a gif of Eric was like finding a needle in a haystack, but here he is leaning close to Sylvie. Thank you, @zehiiro!

I tried to find more gifs of all the people Sylvie has in her life but couldn't find any, which is a darn shame because there are so many subtle cues she's built a support system on her own and she's thriving.

She's a regular at many places in her timeline, and when people greet her, they do so with a smile. She loves music, a hard drink, and punk fashion.

When she engages with Loki, she may come across as cold, but I honestly think she's being firm with her boundaries and true to her beliefs. The TVA threatened her life for centuries. I don't doubt setting foot in the building is traumatic for her, which may explain why she was more harsh than usually in S2E4. Her psychological defenses were all on overdrive. Yet when Sylvie's in her own timeline, far away from the TVA, she can be her real self. Turns out, her real self is pretty well-liked! (I'll talk about how this is mirrored in Loki soon).

INTERSECTIONAL FEMINISM

Sylvie's an unapologetically "selfish" woman who knows what she wants, wants it on her own, is doing it on her own, and isn't afraid to put her foot down when it comes to her personal boundaries. We should be applauding all of that!

This is exactly the kind of female representation we need, but the show did Sylvie a disservice in S1 by coming at her character as a love interest first (look at all the media promos classifying her as such) instead of more thoughtfully showing how badly she has been affected by the TVA and planting what her desires are throughout. If they had done this with more intention and finesse, her position in S2 wouldn't come off as completely irresponsible.

As a result of this apparent marketing and pre-production development decision, her perception as a character (by both lokius and sylki shippers) is muddled by the question of her relationship status with Loki. This truly isn't fair, most especially to Sophia Di Martino.

Of course, Sylvie isn't perfect. No well-written character should be. I just think she's cooler than she gets credit for precisely because her character arc doesn't require the fulfillment of a romance. She will be fine whether or not she ends up with Loki. It's very feminist!

Loki, in turn, found safety, belonging, and love at the TVA. All the things that are the complete opposite of Sylvie's lived experience. I often see fans complaining about how Loki is ooc in his own series.

The thing is, and Loki admits this himself: it's all part of an illusion.

This illusion started far before the first Thor movie. He comes from a hyper-masculine (dare I say toxic-masculine) warrior society. His true nature doesn't conform with this, so he has to overcompensate with some (genuinely awesome) bad assery.

BUT he doesn't like it.

As a comparison to a far lesser but more relatable degree: imagine putting on a customer service persona 24/7. UGH. It's just not sustainable without becoming increasingly angry and bitter, which is what Sacred Timeline Loki becomes. Mobius gets ahead of this.

In the series, Loki can finally TURN OFF that persona, and TURN IT ON again when it's needed (and fun!).

He also now has the freedom to be silly, expressive, and magical (unapologetically queer!) without anyone making fun of him for it.

The end result is a much calmer, happier, likable person (like Sylvie in her timeline, his defenses are no longer on overdrive!). Who shows him this is possible?

Here's the receipt:

QUEER REPRESENTATION

Sociopoliticaly, Loki and Mobius come from a different angle. A lot of men (cis, fluid, trans, or otherwise) struggle with the social expectation of burying feelings and never ever showing vulnerability, especially to another men. Now, some might argue that shipping men together perpetuates this construct. There's some truth to this, but only through the lens that it is shameful to be gay. In order to get to a point in society where there's no shame in being mistaken as gay (or queer, generally) when being affectionate with another man, there must be continuous positive representation of homosexual relationships in which the characters are not stereotypes. Loki and Mobius are exactly this, especially Mobius.

Whereas Loki, on Asgard, represents the openly queer oppressed (i.e. magic and cunning, qualities historically tied to witches or "immoral women" instead of brute strength), Mobius can represent the closeted repressed.

In S1, Mobius was much more uptight, rule-abiding, and just shy of holier-than-thou. The power structure in which he existed perpetuated this, until Loki reveals to him it was all a lie (an illusion).

In S2, he becomes more flexible, more fun-loving, and more expressive in his affection. In S1, most of his support of Loki manifested as words of affirmation. In S2, his support extended to physical touch and bonding. Mobius, if seen through the lens of a closeted man allegory, finds the courage (and partner) to slowly come out.

#loki #sylvie #mobius #lokius #sylki #loki meta #loki season 2 #loki spoilers #sylkie #my meta #loki series

[starstruckwillows]

jess! i have a request!

okay, so maybe this one is like where y/n is a shy hufflepuff and doesn't talk too much to people who aren't her like... three friends. so when she gets paired up with james potter in potions and they get to talking and get to know each other and become friends. and james starts to realize with the help of siri that he has a crush. a huge crush. and everytime y/n smiles at him he feels as if he's about to fall over. and she smiles at him like all the time. passing in the hallway, great hall, hogsmead. like all the time. and eventually he is pushed into confessing his feelings builds up the courage to confess his feelings

if you don't feel it, no preasure!

♡ three confessions - j.p ♡

el i love your brain omg

starstruckwillows 🂱

pairing; james potter x reader

category; fluff

summary; just james potter being weak in the knees for the girl he was partnered with in potions

warnings/content; snape, one swear

other; fem!reader, hufflepuff!reader, shy-ish!reader

the only thing that ever, ever made you competitive was potions class.

desire to overcome all your competition rarely cropped up in your nature, but severus snape pulled that fight from you.

his smug face when he beat you to an answer, his gritty laugh when his friends teased muggleborns, his simpering to slughorn when he insisted tipping over your cauldron was an accident.

so absolutely nothing could've made you happier than the professor announcing a group project, in which you would not be paired with who you sat next to now.

"we want to get to know some new people!" slughorn grinned.

getting to know new people was not your fortè, but getting away from snape was too good to worry.

you ended up seated next to james potter, one of the loudest, most confident student you knew of. while the prospect of working with someone so sociable made you tug at your sleeves selfconsciously, working with snape's worst enemy seemed fitting.

slipping into your newly assigned seat, you began reading over the project, feeling james' eyes on you.

eventually, he prompted, "hi. i'm james."

and, awkward at the angle, stuck out his hand for you to shake. you smiled and took the offer, as you introduced yourself.

he nodded enthusiastically with a smirk, "alright, cool! i'll confess it to you now, potions is not something i'm exactly brilliant at."

from a slimy git who sabotaged your work, to the sort of person in a group who left it all up to you. still an alright trade, you thought.

"yeah, no worries. i'll get the research done over the weekend, and you can copy it out on the report. just for the handwriting, y'know."

the messy-haired gryffindor seemed taken aback, nudging his glasses up his face, "no, no, i'll do my bit. i jus' meant my terminology is a bit rusty."

you felt bad for assuming, apologizing quickly, but he brushed it off, and you arranged to meet at the library.

due to being chased out by pince twenty minutes in, her adamant shushing not affecting james in the slightest, you then arranged to meet at the three broomsticks.

but all james' friends showed up, so he got distracted with talking to them, eager to link you into their conversations too, so you once again arranged to meet, this time just at a bench near the main hogsmeade village.

and how was it his fault the travelling carnival showed up, and his pocket money had just arrived, and he insisted the two of you play at least a few rounds of accio-a-duck. so you made, again, new plans to meet in the hufflepuff common room.

when he was done being totally fascinated by all the plants, making the acquaintance of your three friends, and marvelling at the sheer amount of blankets, you both ended up totally abandoning the project to see who could eat a whole pack of bertie botts every flavoured beans the fastest.

"if i didn't know better, i'd say you were messing up the work to keep spending time with me." you teased, feeling significantly braver than you had since you were three.

james chuckled, "and what if i was?"

you rolled your eyes with a laugh, shoving his shoulder before pulling out the parchment and books to actually start.

"new confession, as lovely as you are i think it was this work making me procrastinate. i've never seen something so dull." he groaned, only two minutes in.

unfortunately, you finished it there, and your impromptu hangouts came to an end.

but a new friendship was somewhat nurtured by then, and you found yourself smiling to him when you passed him, to the intense amusement of your friends.

james would always wave back with vigor, ruffling his hair even more.

and one day, when you left the great hall, your soft smile caught him so off guard that it took him a full five seconds to wave.

"give the guy a break, you're gonna melt him." one of your friends smirked, poking you in the ribs.

"huh?" you turned with a frown, entirely baffled.

"he looks like honey on a hot day everytime you deign to glance his way."

you scoff, ignoring the heat that rose to your cheeks, "you're being silly."

your friend said nothing in reply, just a short laugh before skipping off. you were confused at being left behind, before you felt a tap on your shoulder.

turning with a slightly frightened jump, you met james' eyes.

damnit, they do look like honey.

a shock of fluster rushing back into you made your eyes drop to the ground.

"hey, did you maybe want to go for a walk?"

the uncharacteristic tone of anxiety caused you to remeet his stare. eager to banish the nerves from his face, you nodded, doing your best to supress the smile you wanted to let loose when he interlinked your fingers with his.

a sharp whistle made you both turn, sirius using a disgruntled remus' shoulder to prop himself higher as he yelled, "prongs, don't forget what i said! you're-"

"a stag not a pussy, yeah i know." he grumbled, and though there was no way sirius could've heard, he seemed appeased, and james led you away quickly.

though you didn't understand what was going on, the blush spreading across james' cheeks made your stomach flutter.

when the two of you reached the grounds, walking in comfortable silence as james swung your arms in the closing distance between you. if it wasn't quiet, you would've giggled at his antics.

he stopped, reaching the edge of the black lake where you both sat, shoulders touching. even though you didn't meet his eye, you knew he was staring straight ahead when he started talking.

"so, er... i wanted to tell you something. and i didn't want there to be loads of pressure, so i thought i'd tell you here, where it's a bit more quiet."

you squeezed his hand reassuringly, silently urging him to go on.

"i confessed to you that i wasn't good at potions, which was true. then i confessed that i thought the potions essay might kill me, and that was definitely true, but it wasn't really what i wanted to say."

with a deep breath, he stumbled quickly through his next sentence, "i wanted to confess that i really, really like you. and even though we've sort of accidentally been on a date or two, i want our next one to be official. that is, if you'd also like that."

the joy spread across your face faster than you thought it would, willing yourself not to whisper as you replied, "i'd really like that."

and that was the three confessions of james potter, a story he retold a little too proudly as you showed off the ring, years on.

taglist:

@anordinarymuse @ell0ra-br3kk3r @kingshitonly

#starstruckwillows #fluff #marauders #marauders era #james potter #james potter x reader #james potter x hufflepuff #james potter x shy!reader #hufflepuff #hufflepuff!reader

[dendenmazing]

I saw this one and thank you for this, God.

I love you, but I’m not waiting for you.

Dear You,

Our conversation started with "praying for you," and I still do. We became acquainted and turned out to be close friends. I still remember the night you had the courage to tell me that you see me as an ideal girl; that even before we became friends, you had been observing me from afar, and I can't believe I'm writing these annoying & silly thoughts right now.

From telling you simple greetings like “huy mata na oy" as my way of saying "Good morning" and "Almost 11 na, katog na" as my way of saying “Good night” to random things like what I’m doing, where I’m going, what's bothering me and who I’m with, all the way down to my deepest emotions, fears, and desires, I have devolved into just calling your name through chats and asking you "how have you been?" and mostly other words that end with “Good bye.”

I used to want to tell you everything. We used to laugh at the little things.

There are so many things I want to tell you. From the most random things like I have so many struggles because of what you said that night and I cried more while being alone overcoming it, to the most blissful things like I’m working to become a better daughter, sister, disciple, servant, and friend, I want to tell you everything.

There are so many questions I want to ask you. From the most generic questions like "Where are you now?" “Have you eaten?” “What are you doing?” and “How was your day?” down to the most difficult questions like “Are you okay?” “When are you leaving?” "When are you coming back?" and “Do you miss me?” I want to ask you everything.

There are so many things I want you to know. From the most peculiar thoughts like how I remember you whenever I hear someone asking for a thing that can make me remember you, how I dreamt I was holding your hand and chose to let go in the end, and how I reminisce about us whenever I sit in the same room where you unexpectedly told me a sandwich compliment in order not to hurt me, all the way down to the most concealed truths of how I feel for you, I want you to know everything specifically.

I want you to hear me say "I'm sorry," "I miss you," and "I love you". So many times I was tempted to tell you these words. I even accidentally told you once. I don't know if you've noticed it, but all I could say was call your name as my “Hello” and take your time as “Good bye.” It’s difficult not to be able to talk to you. It hurts not being able to tell you how I feel. But no matter how difficult it gets and how painful it becomes, we cannot escape the reality that some things are just better left unsaid.

The reality is...I’m choosing not to tell you because I’m waiting.

I’m waiting not for you, but for God’s beautiful plan to come true.

I love you, but I’m not waiting for you.

I’ve recently finished reading Corrie ten Boom’s book, ‘Hiding Place.’ Just like me, Corrie also fell in love with a man (Karel) who chose not to pursue her, but she didn’t let her brokenness keep her from loving Karel. More importantly, she didn’t let her brokenness keep her from loving God. Instead, she used her brokenness to gain strength from the Lord and love Karel the way God wanted her to.

“Corrie,” he began instead, “Do you know what hurts so very much?" It’s love. "Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked, that means pain." There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill the love so that it stops hurting. But then, of course, part of us dies, too. Or, Corrie, we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel. “God loves Karel—even more than you do—and if you ask Him, He will give you His love for this man, a love nothing can prevent, nothing destroy. Whenever we cannot love in the old, human way, Corrie, God can give us the perfect way. "

“Lord, I give to you the way I feel about Karel, my thoughts about our future—oh, you know! Everything! Give me your way of seeing Karel instead. Help me to love him that way. that much. "

I’m not waiting for you because I’m choosing to love you the best way I can. Corrie taught me that the best way for me to love you is to re-route my love for you to God and ask Him to love you for me. I’m asking God to love you for me because I know that He loves you more than I do, that He will give you the love I can never give you; that He will give you the perfect love in the perfect way – a love nothing can prevent nor destroy.

I’m not waiting for you because God remains to be my first and greatest love. Because my love for God is so much greater than my love for you, it is Him that I have chosen to trust and obey. I’m not waiting for you because my faith lies not in you, but in God. There is no assurance in waiting for you, but in waiting upon the Lord, all assurance becomes true. I’m not waiting for you because God told me not to. God told me to let go, and that’s what I’m choosing to do.

I'm waiting for God's beautiful plan to come true, not because I fully understand Him, but because I fully trust Him.

There is a great mystery as to what God’s plan is. Whether he plans for you to stay in my heart or stay in my life, I am not certain. Whether he plans for me to love someone else soon after or years later, I am not certain. Whether he plans for me to remain single or get married, I am not certain. However, because I trust God, I am certain that whatever His plan may be, may it be to marry you, to marry someone else, or to not marry at all, it will be best. For he declared to me, “I know the plans I have for you; plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11).

I’m waiting for God’s beautiful plan to come true—not because I love waiting, but because I know it will be worth the wait. I’m more than a hundred percent sure that the mystery, uncertainty, and difficulty of it all will be worth it because I will be waiting for the Man who loves me most, the Man who loves me best, the Man who loves me perfectly—God. I will embrace the precious reality that waiting can get tiring, frustrating, and depressing, knowing that the process of waiting also entails warmth, strength, and growth that comes only from the perfect love of the Lord.

As I wait, I hope and pray that you’re doing the same too. Don’t wait for me, wait for Him. Don’t wait for who you deem is “the one.” Wait instead for the only One—the only One who can love you perfectly. Wait only for our God, the Almighty. As what I wrote in the Bible I gave you (you were the first person I've given a Bible and probably the last one), 'Wherever you are, may you get closer and more intimate with your relationship with Jesus each day.' Because I pray for nothing less than for you to love Jesus more. Mizpah!

With love,

Zeal

[dismantledandrearranged]

14 sept 2022

Okay. So I had typed out a lot on the last post and tried to indent and a whole paragraph disappeared and half the post was gone:/ whatever fuck it. So growing up I had two friends who i would roleplay with and create many characters and storylines. We would embody the characters and half-way act them out. The stories would get really intense and dramatic. Like really intense. But what is interesting is that I would feel like that was my normal state. These two friends of mine were in my life at two different points, and our roleplaying games were completely separate. Around 7th grade, I wanted to be normal. I felt starkly aware of how much of a loser I felt like compared to all these beautiful and super likable popular kids. I felt like a weirdo, I think a part of me did, for these roleplaying games. Everyone thought I was weird even without knowing about those, and I never heard anyone else roleplay. I guess a part of me unconsciously gave up on my inner world in exchange for potentially being accepted in the outer world. It would feel stiff kind of like I'm playing a part when I tried to be normal. Like I was playing a character. Cute pretty bitchy girl you wanted to be friends with so bad and the boys would chat with and ask her to the dance with a big bouquet of flowers and a card and balloons. I never became her but that's what I tried to embody. A desirable hot girl who knows what she wants and knows whats worth her time, 7th grade version. It's interesting because this is when I began to pick at my skin. My dermatillomania was born. I think it was before this even, in sixth grade, when I was having these realizations under the surface and I was struggling with these strange foreign feelings for the first time in my life. Worrying about how I am being perceived, for MY OWN sake, according to a part of me. If I appear welcoming and approachable, if I am easy to talk to, people will like me and I will have an easier time making friends. People will have a reason to want to get to know me based off my looks. people will have a reason to even want to get to know me. That was a belief I think became deeply ingrained in me. I think too. Part of e knew we can't just always talk to someone until we decide we want to get to know them; what I mean by that is when you are in school you are constant around these people. You hear them talk, you're forced to interact with eachother eventually, and eventually you just make friends just because you are around eachother constantly. As an adult that's not the case, and it's lots harder to make friends using the same social skills. But even compared to my own age, I felt like I didn't have very many friends/ friend making skills because of N. She was very jealous and would cause drama and cause me to lose new friends. And when I finally broke it off with her, I was sort of a drifter over the years. I never held friendships for very long, and the personalities and interests I had become acquainted with in the years were all rather different. A lot of my old friends would ghost me or we drifted apart after some time. I wasn't assertive at all, I would let them slip away, then feel sorry for myself, whether I was a """"victim"""" or not. But I kept feeling like I wasn't enough, and that's why they let me go. They just were putting up with me, they got bored of me, they forgot, they just were to nice to let me down directly, etc. I would cut and shape myself and the parts I would show, because I was paranoid I was irritating people with my existence. In different friend groups, I would feel which part of myself was safe to let out, which part would be the most likeable. Will they find the ditzy childlike goofball dummy amuse them? Or maybe my cold more masculine indifferent self will be taken more seriously. Maybe if I dress flirty, fun and sassy, I can make it easier for people to want to converse with me and look at me, they will feel cool for talking to me. Maybe if I speak eloquently and sharpen my mind, people will realize my intelligence and the importance of my words and opinions

[dangerousstrawberryshark]

Just Accept it! (READ THE DAMN DISCLAIMER!)

A/N: Hello, my 🍓Little Strawberries🍓! I'm back with another fic for you! Couldn't find a better pic

Pairing: Yandere Henry Cavill x Trans male reader; Tyler Hoechlin x trans male reader. (mentioned)

Rating: MATURE

Warnings: Male Pregnancy, use of drugs, kidnapping, no consent. (what you expect? This yandere)

Word count: 3560

Summary: It started out with acting, then it went to stalking, and it went to him kidnapping you. And it ended with you spending the rest of your life with him.

I hope you enjoy this! Sorry if it's bad! And sorry for any errors that are found!

If you like what I write, how about check out my masterlist?

Keys:

E/c: Eye color

H/c: Hair Color

H/l: Hair length

S/c: Skin color

Y/a: Your age. (Pick an appropriate age)

DISCLAIMER!: THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING TRANS MALE READER. I'M SORRY IF ANYTHING OFFENDS ANYONE.

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DISCLAIMER: I MEAN NO OFFENSE, DISRESPECT, OR HARM TO ANY OF THESE CELEBRITIES! THIS IS JUST FICTION.

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MINORS DNI. FEMALE READERS… I’LL ALLOW YOU TO READ MY FICS BUT DO NOT FETISHIZE ANY OF MY STORIES

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Henry was currently waiting for this someone to come. 'I wonder who it could be.' he thought to myself. We were going to start acting in the new TV show, Superman & Lois.

(Okay, I know that Tyler stars in this, but I'm just going to switch him out with Henry and play as Lois. You can change the name)

He then sees some guy, who looks small and innocent. You had h/l and beautiful, most dazzling e/c. His s/c looked smooth and soft like a freshly made bed. (?)

He looked to be Y/a. You looked so ethereal, a walking sex god. The source of men's sexual desire. He was so sexy and hot- 'Wait- what am I thinking? I'm not gay- I have a beautiful girlfriend, I need to stop thinking like this.'

Henry sees you approach me. "Hi! I'm assuming your Henry right?" you questioned, tilting your head. "Y-yeah- I'm Henry! N-nice to m-meet you!" Henry sturred over my words.

'Shit, why am I nervous around him? What is he doing to me?' Henry then heard a little chuckle. 'His laugh- AAGGHH!'

"Well, nice to meet you, Henry, I'm M/N!" you gave your hand out, Henry hesitantly shook it. 'His hands are rough and large!' you thought.

(Sorry, but I'll be using M/N.)

'His hands are so soft, like a baby's skin! I just wanna hold it forever-' Henry said to himself before pulling back. He didn't realize he had a rough grip on your hand.

"Ah- sorry about that," Henry said scratching his head out of embarrassment. "It's okay!" you gave your famous smile. Henry blushed.

'Why is this happening?! What is he doing to me!' Henry's mind was going all over the place, he was having a gay panic. 'What's wrong with this guy? I thought he was supposed to be calm and collected?'

You had no idea what was going on with him. "Well- I gotta go..." you said, backing away slowly before going to someone and starting a conversation with them. Hoping it won't be as awkward or weird

Henry just stared as you walked. He didn't notice that his hands were twitching. You could feel his stare piercing through your head. Such a dark and dominant stare.

'Maybe, he's just staring at something that so happens to be in my direction!' you said to yourself.

(No you dumb shit!)

"OKAY! Everyone, we're gonna be starting soon. Everyone to your stations and gets ready!" The director yelled. "Take M/N and Henry to their dressing rooms."

"Okay, sir. Come on!" They grabbed you and Henry to get dressed and ready.

They put on Henry's iconic Superman suit and they dressed you as Lois or the male equivalent of her. You looked at Henry and blushed a little. 'If I wasn't married to my husband, I would've gone for him. But he's straight.'

You looked away so Henry wouldn't notice but he did. 'He was blushing... AT ME- STOP IT!' Henry then glared at you. You noticed his glare and looked away. He didn't mean to glare.

"Okay, everyone get to your positions! Do you two know your lines?" The director asks looking back and forth. You both nodded your heads. "Okay, go on the scene and be ready!"

Once you both got there and got in position, the director yells, "ACTION!"

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TIMESKIP (END OF THE SCENE)

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(I don't know what they be doing at the studio.)

"Hey- Uh... M/n!" Henry called out. You turned to face Henry, "Mh?" Henry looked at you trying to get the words out. "Uh... You have something to say?"

"Uh- well." Henry scratching his head. "I'm sorry... for glaring at you earlier today." He was now blushing hard while grinning.

You looked at him confused about what he was talking about. Then you remembered earlier. "Oh-, Its okay Henry! I know you didn't mean it." you smiled at him, reassuring him that it was okay.

You were about to continue, but you got a call. You looked at the caller ID. "Hubby😘" is calling, your husband was calling. "I got to take this call." you then walked away to a private location.

Henry was curious so he followed you. He knows this is eavesdropping, but he wants to know, "what was so important about a phone call?"

Apparently, he took too long but he heard this. "I love you too." Henry left before you could spot him. 'He loves someone? Why do I care if he is in love with someone?'

"I'm gonna have to go! Bye Henry!" You then left leaving Henry behind to think about what was happening.

'What are you doing to me M/n? I never felt this way before.'

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TIMESKIP (6 months)

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You and Henry have been acquaintances for 6 months. Henry's feelings for you grew and grew but there wasn't that ultimate trigger that would finally set the bomb off.

Until now and later on today. (so two ultimate triggers.)

You wrapped your arms around Clark's neck. You were shorter than, so all you saw was his muscular chest. Clark then wrapped his arms around your waist, looking into your beautiful e/c.

Alarms were going off in Henry's mind as he pulls you closer to him. 'This is actually happening.' M/n smells so nice like fresh lavenders.

Your lips then met Clarks. You tilted your head a little to the side to have better access. Though his nose was kind of in the way. You closed your eyes as you fully gave in.

'He tastes so sweet like chocolate and strawberries.' (You eating my children?) Henry was getting real intimate with the kiss.

(Was that a good kissing scene? I have never seen the TV show)

"CUT!" you pulled back before walking away to get a drink. Henry was still in a daze. Your lips were so soft and delicious, he wants more. Henry never felt like this when kissed his girlfriend.

In fact, he was getting disgusted by her touch and only wants you to touch him. Hell, sometimes you made him hard and he would imagine having sex with you while having sex with her...

He was about to approach you before he heard that... voice. "BABE!" his girlfriend... Henry then felt two arms wrapped around him and a small kiss on his lips.

Henry felt like he wanna puke. It wasn't like the kiss he had with you- even though it was just acting but it was real to him- but he had to act like he enjoyed it. "HI! You must be Henry's wife, right?"

You intervene in their conversation. "Yes, I'm Henry's wife- well girlfriend! My name is Natalie Viscuso! You must be M/n? I'm a big fan of you!"

You and Natalie kept talking and getting along. Henry was just watching, he was getting angry and jealous. After about 30 minutes, Natalie went back to Henry.

"Sorry about that, I got carried away. How about me and you have some fun when we get home?" Henry just nodded his head without giving an expression.

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TIMESKIP (5 hours later. At Henry's home)

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(I know that Henry's real-life GF/Wife is a good lady. Remember, this is fiction)

"A-ahh! H-henry... you f-feel so good! Y-your... dick is... s-so BIG!" Natalie moaned as she rode Henry's cock.

Henry didn't seem to enjoy it, not one bit. He pushed- not too hard - Natalie off of him. "Why did you stop?" she said confused, Henry was getting dressed.

Henry didn't pay attention to her and just walked out.

The next morning, the news of Henry's and Natalie's break up spread like wildfire. Nobody understood why he broke up with her, they were doing just fine.

Henry didn't feel upset. While walking around last night, he began to think how you made him feel feelings he has never felt before.

He likes how you touch him- even though you didn't mean to. He likes your soft lips- even though you two were acting. He feels disgusted whenever he was with Natalie. Angry and jealousy surge through his veins whenever you talked with someone that wasn't him.

Henry now accepted that he likes you.

When you got the news of them breaking up, you were shocked. "Henry are you okay? I heard you and Natalie broke up," you asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Henry replied, nonchalantly. "You don't seem upset about it..." Henry just stared at you with his deep, dark eyes. 'What's wrong with him?'

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TIMESKIP (3 MONTHS)

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You've been waiting months to tell Henry something very important. You were nervous, scared, and... paranoid.

During the 3 months of waiting, you feel like you were being watched. Wherever you gom even in your own room.

You told Henry about it -since he was a close friend- and he told you not to worry about it saying, "You're just paranoid, it something you shouldn't worry about."

But you still kept your guard up. You made to look around and if you see someone looking suspicious. But tomorrow, you were going to come out to him.

You arrived at a... Dunkin Donuts (?) and ordered some donuts and coffee and took a seat by the window. You looked out to see some people walking by. There was a car that had black tinted windows, you couldn't see who was inside.

You pulled your phone to text Henry to come and talk with him. But that wasn't necessary, Henry walked and turned in your direction. "Hey, M/n!"

'How did he know I was here? Or was it a coincidence?' you thought. Then you felt a rough hand on your shoulder. "Mind if I sit here?" you shake your head.

Henry took his seat and ordered some food and coffee. 'It's too crowded here.' While seating there, you could feel stares and glances. You just ignored them.

Henry stared at you with love in his eyes, taking in all your features. Then he notices something on your finger, 'Is that a ring? IS HE ENGAGED? Or..... is he MARRIED!'

Rage was running through his veins but he had to calm himself down or you'll notice.

You had enough of his staring and break the silence. "I need to tell you something but it can't be here." that snapped Henry out of his daze. "What do you need to about?"

"It's something personal and it can't be here." You said getting up, and stressing your muscles, and heading out the door. Henry nodded his head before getting up and following you out.

As you two were walking, just taking in the fresh air and sounds of cars driving by. "So, what did you want to talk about?" Henry turned to you.

"Well... I hope you don't look at me differently..." you said looking down at the ground. "I'll never look at you differently bab- M/n."

You took a deep breath. "I'm trans..." you said quietly but Henry still heard you. "Oh... just because you're trans doesn't change what I see in you. You're still a man," Henry said putting his hand on your shoulder.

You smiled at him before jumping onto him. Henry wrapped his arms around you. He wanted to stay like this forever, you just in his arms feeling your warm, heat against him.

But sadly, you pulled away. "Thank you! Thank you!" you're glad Henry accepted you.

But Henry knew you were trans. Remember how you feel like you were being watched? Well, that was all Henry, he would watch you play with yourself. He would masturbate to this, he was quite turned on about this discovery.

'I'll accept whoever you are baby.'

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TIMESKIP (1 week)

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It's been one week since the whole coming out thing and Henry was gathering the confidence to ask you out. But today is the day.

Henry got a text saying, "Meet me at the park." so naturally he did. He didn't spot you at first until he recognizes your h/c. Then it's at that time he notices someone else there.

This bastard had his arms wrapped around you, and he gave small kisses on your lips. Henry's right eye twitched as he watched the display right in front of him.

'Who the hell is he?!? Is HE the one that M/n married?' he snapped out of it when you called his name to come over.

"I'm glad you came Henry! This is my husband, Tyler Hoechlin. Tyler, this is Henry, one of my friends!" you said with a smile. 'So, that means his name is M/n Hoechlin.'

Tyler gave his hand out and Henry shook it. Henry had a rough grip on his hand, squeezing it. And he just glared at him. "Well, let's go!"

Henry just glared at Tyler the whole time. 'M/N should ONLY have my last name! I should be the one with him!' Tyler notices how Henry was glaring at him the whole time. But he wasn't fazed by it.

'I'm gonna find a way to get rid of you! Or I could just take M/n?'

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TIMESKIP (3 DAYS)

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It had been 3 days since Henry met your husband, and he wasn't happy at all. Today he wants to hang out with you, and talk about something. Henry called your phone and waited for you to pick it up.

Meanwhile... (This is my first shot at writing smut with TMR.)

"A-ahh! d-daddy... your c-cock... is so... b-big!" you moaned as rode Tyler like your life depended on it. "Fuck, you're so wet and warm for me, M/n. Your tight little pussy feels amazing!" Tyler groaned as he thrust further into you.

Tyler sees that your phone is vibrating, 'Henry?' Tyler smirked, he knew that Henry was glaring at him with hate and stared at you with love. 'This will teach him who my baby boy belongs to.'

"Be a good boy for daddy and answer the phone." Tyler handed you the phone, you took a look at the caller and noticed it was Henry calling. "D-daddy... I-i can't do... it with y-you- thrusting... i-into me!"

Tyler stopped his thrusts but as you answered his call, he thrust right back into you. "A-ah!"

"Hey, M/n! Are you okay?" Henry questioned. "Y-yeah... I'm okay..." Tyler stopped thrusting, you could his cock pulsing and twitching inside you.

"You're little pussy is wet for me. You like it when I rub you here?" Tyler then began to rub your small dick. You tried to not moan out loud.

But Henry could tell, that you were moaning. And he was angry and just hanged up. "H-hello?... I think he... h-hung up." "Now, I can fuck you!" And he went back to banging you.

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TIMESKIP (5 DAYS)

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5 days after the little event, Henry hasn't called you. You tried calling him and seeing what's wrong, but he never answered.

Tyler kept telling you to not worry about him. Meanwhile, Henry was just in his room masturbating to a picture of yours and mutters, "You belong to me... Tyler and your's relationship is fake! We kissed, we held each other, and so many other things."

The acting seems to make Henry delusional, cause he believed it was all real and that you meant it. He has to find a way to make you his and he just how to do it.

There was a party coming up. You and Tyler would both be attending.

You and Tyler both arrived at the party. People were drinking, dancing, and doing other weird things. "I'm gonna go get a drink." Tyler nodded his head.

He went over to a table and sat down. Tyler wasn't the type to get a drink. Meanwhile, Henry kept his eyes on you. 'This is going to be a fun night!' You thought.

But this will turn out to be the worst night you'll ever have.

Had a few drinks, you were trying to find Tyler in the crowd but couldn't find him. You didn't feel the vibration in your phone, "I'll be waiting for you in the car."

As you were walking around, you felt yourself being pushed up against a wall. "Oh... *HIc* T-Tyler... I didn't *Hic* know you could be *Hic* this rough."

Henry pinned you against the wall and crash his lips against yours. Sweet but tasted like alcohol. 'Since when did Tyler become all muscular' Then you felt a needle pierce through your neck and injecting you with some kind of drug.

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TIMESKIP (After the party.)

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You woke up with a massive headache. Your mind is still blurry but after a few moments later you could see properly. You noticed a cup of water and headache pills by it. You took it.

Then, you realized, this isn't your room and that you were wearing a bunny outfit! 'What the fuck? Where am I?!' Then you began to feel hot and needy.

Your pussy was leaking and clenching around nothing. Your small dick was aching to be touched. "Is my little bunny awake?" A deep husky voice said.

You turned in its direction to notice that it was Henry?! But your mind was getting clouded with lust and want. "H-Henry...?"

"Shh, baby. Daddies here." Henry said getting closer to you and pulling you to his lap. Your hands were now on his shirtless chest, feeling his hairy pecs.

"Where's... T-Tyler?" you questioned, bad mistake. Henry smacked one of your cheeks. "DON'T EVER MENTION HIS NAME! YOU BELONG TO ME! FORGET ABOUT HIM!"

You were getting turned on. It must be the drug he gave you, cause you don't like it someone yells at you. "You're leaking so much slick? You want daddy to help you?"

Before you could respond, Henry pushed you down onto the couch and you could feel his meaty cock at your front entrance. "Your little pussy is leaking so much, you don't know how much you turn me on."

Henry lubes his cock with your slick before pushing in. "F-fuck! You're so tight! I guess Tyler didn't fuck you that good." Henry groaned as he pushed all the way in you.

He let you adjust a little before thrusting back into you. "You're so wet, tight, and warm. Better than my ex!" Henry groaned as he feels you tightening around him.

His hand then went down to stroke your cock. "A-ah!" you moaned as you tried to turn your face away. "You're close? Me too!" you could feel Henry thrust into your womb.

He was hitting your pleasure spot tip-on. "M-mmhh!" Your body clenched before convulsing beneath him. Your muscles twitched around his cock.

"Fuck, you came! I'm close! You'll look so beautiful swollen with my kids. The thought of spending the rest of my life with you just makes me wanna cum!"

You could feel his cock burst inside you. Feeling you up with his cum. "Get pregnant from this!" He stayed inside you before collapsing onto your smaller body.

He was leaving love marks. "You belong to me now, M/n..."

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TIMESKIP (DECADE LATER)

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It has been a decade since you were taken away. A decade being with a monster- who you looked up to before. He had taken you away from others.

You were in the kitchen cooking some waiting for him to come home. "PAPA! When is daddy coming home?" your oldest child said playing with his lego spaceship.

"He'll be home soon. How about go play with your siblings?" they nodded their head before heading to their room. You gave birth to Henry's children, when you had O/C/N, you promised that you'll take them far away from this monster.

You looked at the ring. It was no longer Tyler's ring but Henry's. Just as you said Henry, two strong muscular arms wrapped around your waist.

"How is my beautiful husband doing?" you tried pushing him away but it didn't work.

"Just accept it, M/n. You'll never escape me, and you don't want anything bad to happen to your- no- OUR kids? Right?" tears began to pour out your eyes.

"No. Please don't hurt them... they're just kids, they did nothing wrong." you cried trying to not alarm them.

"Then just accept your fate. You've been resisting for 10 years, it's no use. No one will ever find you." Henry whispered into your ear.

"Just accept it."

THE END

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A/N: I hope this was good! I'm sorry if anything is incorrect. Do you like my new format? Anyways, bye my 🍓Little Strawberries🍓!

#x trans male reader #trans male reader #x male reader #male reader #henry cavill x male reader #yandere henry cavill x trans male reader #henry cavill x trans male reader #henry cavill imagine #yandere henry cavill x male reader #yandere henry cavill imagine #yandere henry cavill #male pregnancy #I'm sorry of this offends anyone

[shysneeze]

cliché (cedric diggory x fem!reader)

Cliché 

Cedric Diggory x fem!Hufflepuff!reader

Request: could you do a Cedric Digorry oneshot in which the reader is also a hufflepuff who's always smiling and he sees her crying?

Warnings: mentions of loneliness, crying angsty but also as title suggests its super cliché and soppy but you’ve been warned 

(Author’s Note: This is my first Cedric fic so excuse me if the characterisation isn’t quite correct, its a work in progress also the ending might seem bit rushed but this is a procastination baby and I got spooked last minute that I’m four weeks behind on uni work. )

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Some might call her a cliché.

It’s rumoured that the hat barely hovered over her head for two seconds before its decision was made, that its decision was made the minute she stepped into the great hall and smiled.

Some will say that the warm yellow tie fixed neatly around her shirt collar and badger crested robes are unnecessary all these years later, that from just one conversation with (Y/N) (Y/L/N), no one could ever doubt that she belongs in Hufflepuff.

With a smile sweeter than honey, her presence can lift the stubbornest of frowns and the lowest of spirits. Patient and loyal, she lends herself as a friend to all, from homesick first years to gossiping classmates.

Like hot chocolate on cold winter day, she’s the most welcome cliché there is, and her reputation precedes her, known to all as the girl with the infectious smile, the never-ending supply of cheerfulness.

Cedric Diggory is no stranger to her smile, the one that sends warmth to his cheeks when their eyes meet during class, the one that causes him to lose all his well earned confidence, that turns house prefect, quidditch captain and school champion, Cedric Diggory, into a nervous wreck.

He’s fallen under the same spell as everyone else, enamoured by whatever it is in her presentation that lifts the mood of an entire room, that holds people captivated and has people longing to be in her company.

Tonight however, he’s seeing her without that smile for what feels like the first time, and his concern logically overrides the part of him that would usually be flustered to be anywhere near her.

The otherwise empty common room is lit only by the gentle flame of the fire, crackling softly in the background. He was about reprimand her, before she turned to face him and he recognised her, even with wide watery eyes and tear-stricken cheeks.

“(Y/N)?”

“C-cedric?” Her voice wobbles until panic suddenly grabs her expression. “Cedric!”

She pulls her jumper’s sleeves over her hands and presses them hastily to her eyes in a scramble to hide her tears. Then, gulping momentarily beforehand, she pulls her lips into a smile so fragile, it falters instantly.

“You caught me.” She forces a chuckle. “I should be in bed...”

She climbs to her feet sheepishly, making her way around the furniture in order to slip past him. He’s almost too dazed to stop her, only reaching out at the last second to take hold of her hand before she can sneak up to the girl’s dorm.

He tugs her back gently, curling her back until she tumble softly into his chest. He steps back quickly to give her space, but keeps hold of her hand too keep her steady. She stares up at him once firmly still again, red-rimmed eyes a mixture of panicked and surprised.

 “Sorry- are you okay?”

“Fine.” She lies poorly.

She scans the room quickly for an excuse, zoning in on a book left lying on the coffee table in front of the sofa she was moments ago sat upon. She turns back to him, mustering a sheepish smile.

“Sad book is all.”

Cedric raises a quizzical brow, slowly leading them both towards the aforementioned book. His eyes scan the title before returning to her own with a knowing glint.

“Really?” He asks. “Transfiguration for Senior Students?”

“Too much change…” She nods, wincing at the stupidity of it. “Fine…”

She drops herself back onto the sofa with a shaky sigh and a hiccup of someone who’s been crying for a while. He studies her for a moment, worried by this teary version of the most cheerful girl in Hogwarts, then, he takes a seat beside her.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, voice gentle and encouraging. “You can tell me.”

“You have enough to worry about with the tournament, Cedric.” She shakes her head. “You don’t need my silly problems on top of it.”

He shakes his head, frowning at the statement.

“I doubt they’re silly, (Y/N).” He says. “Just different.”

Something in his voice, soft, kind and genuinely concerned, has tears stinging at her eyes again and a frustrated sigh falling out her lips. She sniffles again and presses her palms to her eyes.

“This is so stupid.” She hiccups. 

“Hey.” He whispers softly. “It’s okay.”

She freezes when she feels the warmth of his fingertips on her hands for the second time this evening, tugging gently to pull them away from her eyes. She lets him, surrendering to his gentle touch.

“You don’t have to be happy all the time, (Y/N).”

Her breath falters at the statement, the weight of it taking a moment to sink in. She pulls her hands from his to wipe newly forming tears again with her sleeves, the efficiency of which she’s beginning to doubt.

"No one's ever told me that before." She admits, once convinced that she’s composed enough to do so.

"What?" He frowns.

"That I can be upset." She laughs sadly. "I'm sure it's just common sense but no one's ever actually told me before."

"Really?"

"I'm supposed to be the one that has it all together." She reminds. "I'm the shoulder to cry on, not the crier."

She lets out another sigh, looking up at him with watery eyes.

"I didn't know it was possible to be so lonely while never once being alone."

His heart twists at the realisation, that beneath the happy cliché is an ordinary girl shrouded in the worst type of loneliness, the type only felt in a crowded room, that exists in the gaps in lively conversation and that hits you when you try to sleep after a long day spent with friends.

“I don’t know if that makes sense- “

“It does.” He assures quickly. “It does, (Y/N).”

“It’s not that I dislike being the one to help people.” She explains quickly. “I love that people can approach me and ask for help.”

"That doesn't mean it's not hard." Cedric says gently.

"Yeah." She agrees with a sigh. "It just gets to be a lot sometimes..."

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)."

Her eyes drop to her lap, the softest of sigh escaping her lips, dropping her head back against the back cushion of the sofa and staring up at the ceiling. This isn't how she saw her evening going, sat across from Hogwarts's champion in tears, a blubbering mess.

“It’s okay.” She mumbles. “It’s just how it is.”

"It doesn't have to be."

“Huh?”

“You shouldn’t have to pretend you’re okay all the time.” He explains sincerely, even if just a little nervously. “I want to help, even if that just means being the shoulder you can cry on.”

There is a deep honesty in his grey eyes, intense as they hold hers. She can hear her own heartbeat in her chest, hopeful that even in the quiet of the common room, he can’t hear it too. She’s embarrassed enough for one evening.

“You don’t have to- “

“I want to.” He gulps.

“Why?”

There is that blush she’s become so acquainted with, the one that causes butterflies to flutter in her stomach and for people to nudge her and tell her what a cute couple they’d make together when they notice. The blush she’s grown to find so endearing.

“I care about you, (Y/N).” He admits. “I want you to be happy, but I also want you to know that when you’re not, that I’ll be here to listen to you rant or cry, or even just sit with you in silence if that’s what you need.”

She takes the words in, not sure how she’s supposed to reply without firing herself into his arms. He reaches out nervously for her hand, squeezing it comfortingly. The look he gives her is something between reassuring honesty and shy, as if trying to make sure he’s gotten his point across.

“You don’t deserve to feel lonely.”

“T-thanks, Cedric.” She manages after a minute, although unsatisfied about how understated it is. “That means a lot.”

Whether the warmth of his hand in hers or the kindness of his words she’s unsure, but for the first time this evening, her chest feels lighter and although her eyes sting, they no longer well with tears when she’s left to her own thoughts for longer than a few seconds. 

“Someone should have repaid you that kindness before now.”

“I’m glad it’s you.”

Her voice is quiet, nervous to say the words aloud. Yet, they’re bold words, a leap she’s suddenly proud for taking and that she hopes he’ll find the deeper meaning of. At his expression, she knows he does, but that he needs to be sure.

“I mean to say that it means more coming from you than I suspect it would from anyone else…”

“Oh.”

She panics, sure she’s made a mistake from his slight reaction. She goes to pull her hand from his in order to make her mortified bid for freedom easier, but his grip tightens enough to still her desire to flee.

“No, I just need to know you’re not just saying this because you’re upset.” He explains. “That you aren’t just doing this out of gratefulness or- “

“I like you, Cedric.”

There it is, a clear and concise confession, the words he’s never imagined from her lips before, not when he’s so regularly embarrassed himself by turning into a stuttering nervous wreck in front of her.

“I’ve liked you for a while and I’m not just saying it because I’m grateful.” She adds in assurance. “I’m doing it because you’ve just seen me at my worst and not ran, and for the first time in a long time, I don’t feel completely alone.”

“I’d never run.” He whispers reassuring, rubbing his thumb soothingly over her knuckles.

“Not even now, with puffy red eyes and tear stained cheeks?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “Not even now, because you look beautiful regardless.”

She once again worries that he’ll hear her hear racing in her chest.

“Talk about a cliché.” She exhales.

“I quite like a good cliché.” He states, grinning at her softly. “They’re terribly misunderstood.”

She returns his smile, not the one she forced onto her cheeks at the beginning of the evening, or even the one that he’s so used to making him blush, that he knows now was hiding a pain beneath it. This smile is new, honest, and soft, the prettiest thing he’s ever laid eyes on.

“I love this smile.”

She melts into his touch when one of is hands comes to cup her cheek, pad of his thumb ghosting over the corner of her lips. He’s decided it’s his new favourite thing, this newly genuine smile.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Hmm.” She hums in agreement. “Yes please.”

Their lips meet tentatively, her face still cupped in his hand, the other holding hers still. It’s slow, he gentle with her and she’s grateful after such an emotional evening. She’d go as far to say that it’s perfect in a way.

“I’m never going to let you feel lonely again.”

“I believe you.”

#cedric diggory #cedric diggory x reader #cedric x reader #cedric imagine #cedric diggory imagine #cedric diggory reader insert #cedric diggory fanfiction #cedric diggory fanfic #harry potter imagines #cedric #harry potter #harry potter and the goblet of fire #reader insert #x readers

[iplaymatchmaker]

hello and good day! i would like a matchup for a3! and ikerev, please! she/her pronouns. you can call me juice, though! hm i think a good description of me personality wise would be im usually cheerful, friendly, childish but i tend to hide a lot of my negative feelings and overthink quite a lot. towards others i'm always curious about the littlest details of someone's hobbies or interest and sometimes i talk more than i listen. love literature and things like fashion or games (1)

Hello, thanks for requesting juice! Sorry for the long wait but I hope you enjoy it! I was pretty excited to write a match up for a3! since it’s been living rent free in my head for the last few weeks. I got a little carried away with the last prompt cause it was so fun to write, but I hope you like it! Also, the ikerev one might take some time but I’ll try to not take too long. Have fun!

I match you with

Tsuzuru!

The two of you first meet after you watch one of their plays, “A Clockwork Heart.” When you realize that the lead and writer is a classmate of yours from college you can’t help but approach him a few days later to discuss the play further.

He seems self conscious at first but quickly opens up as the two of you discuss his script and before you know it one conversation has turned into an in-depth discussion over lunch.

After that first encounter, both of you start talking more often, quickly growing closer. Tsuzuru appreciates your cheerful attitude, making it easy for him to be comfortable around you.

Considering your love for literature, you often help him brainstorm for new ideas, always looking forward to seeing how he brings it to life on stage.

It is easy for you to fit in with the rest of the boys from Mankai, despite their constant prying on your relationship with Tsuzuru. After all the time the two of you spend together, it is no surprise when none of the boys (except Azami) bat an eyelash when you make it official, after a lot of back and forth between friendship and romance.

Prompt: Bonding

“The reason S was created in the first place was because Luke needed a companion. It’s tragic that he was the one who left him in the end.”

“Well, yes, but he also taught him to open up to people, insuring that he wouldn’t be alone when he was gone.”

You and Tsuzuru had been discussing the end of his latest play “A Clockwork Heart” for a while, arguing over whether or not the ending was tragic. When you approached him to offer your praise for his work earlier that day you hadn’t been expecting him to engage in your opinions on a play he wrote, but he was actually deeply invested in the conversation, despite the matter at hand being trivial to the actual substance of the story.

“He couldn’t have known though. He also put his own wishes aside to protect him. That alone makes the ending tragic.” You vividly remembered the tears you had shed when the show reached its climax, a result of both his script and his acting.

“It depends on your idea of what the ending was. S was a machine, so as long as Luke was alive they could meet again, when it was safe for the both of them. That makes the ending-“

Ring Ring

You almost chucked at the generic sound his phone made as it vibrated.

“Give me a sec.” he moved away from the bench before answering. It wasn’t long before he returned, a flush expression on his face.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize I had kept you for so long. I actually need to get going.” He ran a hand through his hair, smiling shyly. It was only then that you noticed what time it was.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to bother you for that long!” Now you were both flushed, the realization dawning on you that you had spent two hours talking.

“I-it’s fine. Um, we can continue this tomorrow, if you’d like?” you were surprised he actually wanted to talk again, a smile spreading over your face.

“Definitely. “

“Okay. See you then!” he waved as he ran off while simultaneously trying to dial someone, resulting in him almost falling on his face. You looked forward to tomorrow.

After that first encounter, you continued to meet during lunch to talk about other works, quickly realizing you had a similar taste in books and movies. It was an easy transition, going from acquaintances to friends.

“How’s the summer troupe’s play coming along?” It was easy to tell that he had been losing sleep again from the – almost – comical black circle under his eyes, but you asked anyway, hoping that you could offer some help.

“I know what I want to write, the words are just refusing to form and settle themselves on the page.” The frustration was evident on his face as he tried to put the pieces flying around his head in order. You tried to think of a way to help him but you knew that he needed to figure this out on his own.

“Come on.” You forcefully pulled him out of his chair, carefully shutting his laptop.

“W-wait. Where are we going?” you pushed him along, despite his protesting.

“Trust me.” You flashed him your biggest smile before setting of, only mildly aware that your hand was still around his wrist.

“The movies?” he seemed confused over what your objective was but you were confident it would help him out of his slump.

“Yes. Come on, I’ll even get us popcorn!” you were beaming as you led him inside.

“What are we watching?” Tsuzuru, finally resigned to his fate, flipped through the leaflet, looking at the moves currently playing.

“Your choice, I’m fine with whatever.” You hurried to the bar to pick up snacks, leaving him at the ticket booth.

“Look at those effects.”

“The acting is top notch.”

Tsuzuru had been so immersed in the movie he seemed to have forgotten all about his tiredness. When you exited the theatre you could practically see the gears turning in his head.”

“It’s a very different take on pirates than the summer troupe’s play, but if I exaggerate the characters even more then there would be great opportunity for comedy.” You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you as you observed him, completely lost in his own mind.

“So I take it the creative juices are flowing again?” he looked back at you, as if seeing you clearly for the first time in days.

“Yes! Thank you!” He put his arms around you, too far lost in his excitement to feel any awkwardness.

“I-I have to go write! I’ll see you tomorrow.” He continued shouting thank you over his shoulder as he run off with newfound energy. You expected you wouldn’t see him the next day, considering he’d probably be passed out by then, but you smiled anyway.

“See you later!”

Prompt : Cinderella:

“So, you’re thinking of doing Cinderella for the next play?” You and Tsuzuru were hanging out in his room, taking full advantage of Masumi’s absence that weekend.

“Yeah… I’m not sure how to go about it though. Everyone in the Spring Troupe agreed that I should be lead this time around but I just don’t see myself in the shoes of a prince… Itaru would probably be a better fit for the role.” You couldn’t help throwing a pillow his way.

“Hey! What was that for?” You sat up a little straighter, tempted to glare at him until he picked up on your annoyance.

“I can definitely picture you in the role of the prince.” You cleared your throat before switching to your best narrator voice.

A long, long time ago there lived a boy and a girl. They were the best of friends when they were children. The boy would often sneak out to meet with her and they would play for hours. But their happiness would not last long.

You see, the girl grew up to be the maid of one of the less-fortunate royal families in the kingdom. She had been forced into that position by her father’s latest wedding. It would also turn out to be his last, for he died a few years later, leaving her in the care of a wicked stepmother.

One the other hand, the boy grew up to be the most charming prince in the land. The women fawned over him and he always had everything his heart could desire.”

“I’m literally none of those things.”

“Fine then.”

The prince was an idiot who didn’t know how to take care of himself and never asked for help. He constantly worried his friends over his health but they loved him anyway.

“That’s not any better…”

“Shh, let me continue the story.”

Their difference in class ripped the two friends apart, putting an end to their relationship. While they weren’t allowed to meet again, they promised to never forget about each other. To keep that promise, the made matching bracelets and agreed to never take them off until they could meet again.

“Friendship bracelets? Who does that?”

“They were kids! Would you have preferred rings?”

“Wouldn’t those basically be promise rings?”

“I’m coming up with this on the spot, give me a break!”

That bracelet was what gave the girl the strength to continue living, despite her struggles.

When news of a ball arrived at the estate, her step-sisters were quick to start preparations, eager to have a chance at the prince’s hand in marriage. The girl was simply happy at the prospect of seeing her friend again.

When her family found out she was planning to attend the ball, they locked her in the cellar, not willing to risk any competition. The girl wept and wept, until suddenly a kind seeming lady appeared in front of her.

“Isn’t this just the movie?”

“Give it a second!”

The lady promised she would help her get to the ball if that was what she wished. Despite her suspicions, the girl earnestly declared that all she wanted was to see her friend again. And so the kind woman flicked her wrist and the rags the girl had been wearing were replace by a rich ball gown, paired with a glass slippers. The girl thanked her again and again before heading off in search of her lost friend.

“She doesn’t warn her about the time limit?”

“There’s no curfew here, it’s a stupid conflict anyway.”

You couldn’t contain the excitement and adrenaline that flowed through you as you went up the steps of the grand palace. You hadn’t been here since you were a child, when the king’s father still allowed you to visit, and childhood memories flooded your mind. It was difficult to keep your nerves at a reasonable level as you approached the guards at the front gate. By the time you had arrived at the palace, most of the guests were already inside, so you were completely alone when you handed the invitation, hoping the witch had done her work well.

“Enjoy your evening.” They smiled before urging you to step inside. A sense of awe filled you as you walked through the somewhat familiar halls, remembering all the places you and Tsuzuru would hide from the servants, before his title meant anything to you.

You weren’t sure you remembered the way to the main hall, so you followed the noise, hoping you could make your way there.

When you finally stood outside what seemed to be the entrance, you took a few deep breaths before walking forward, determined to see your friend again. When you stepped though the door you quickly realized that the door wasn’t the room’s main entrance, but the top of the grand staircase. Dread filled you as everyone’s eyes fell on you. If it wasn’t for the railing you thought you have fainted right then and there. You breathed in, allowing you hand to wrap around the bracelet the two of you had made so long ago, letting the warm feelings it carried spread through you.

You bowed once before making your way down the stairs, hoping you wouldn’t trip on your dress and make a fool of yourself before the night even started.

The moment you were off the last step, your eyes fell on your step-mother, eyeing you with absolute envy and disgust. You hoped the mask would be enough to conceal your identity.

You walked around the room for a bit, keeping to the less populated areas, hoping to catch a glimpse of Tsuzuru, disappointed to find that he was nowhere to be found.

“Please let this not be for nothing…”

You were about to make your way to the balcony, but a swarm of guests was suddenly in your path, dancing to the waltz the band had just started playing. You frantically looked around, searching for a way out when two arms wrapped around you, pulling you along with the rest of the dancers.

“I guess you’re my partner?” the face of the man that stood before you made your jaw drop. You had thought of so many things to say, but now that Tsuzuru was standing before you, the words seemed to catch in your throat.

“So, uh, are you having fun?” he was as awkward as you remembered. Something about the familiarity filled you with a sense of calm. I found him.

“I am now.” It was hard to contain the smile quickly spreading around your face.

“Actually I was-“that was when it was time to switch partners. When you felt his hand slip from yours, panic flooded through you. No… I didn’t have the chance to tell him.

As he pulled his hand away, his fingers brushed the bracelet on your wrist, eyes widening as he was whisked away by another partygoer, realization evident in his features. You tried to get closer, but were quickly taken away by another guest. Your eyes landed on Tsuzuru a few times but the hall was too crowded. It was almost suffocating. You took the first chance to slip out on the balcony, eager to get away from the crowds.

You stood at the railing, letting the air cool down your heated face. He had seen you, but you weren’t sure he would care enough to search. Negative thoughts occupied your mind as you gazed at the land beyond. Maybe this was foolish… He probably barely remembers me… He’s a prince after all. He was more important matter to attend to than a peasant he used to spend his free time with. You felt tears gathering at the corners of your eyes, your own loneliness catching up with you.

“Please don’t cry!” You were shocked to find Tsuzuru standing a few feet away from you, his face flushed and his knees bent. He must’ve been running.

“You’re the girl from back then, aren’t you?” he glanced down at your wrist, pulling up his own sleeve to reveal a bracelet identical to yours.

“Y-you kept it.” Your voice cracked, barely audible in the midst of the ongoing celebrations.

“Of course I did! It meant a lot to me.” The words seemed to call to something inside you and so you let the tears fall.

“W-what did I do? Please don’t cry!” he took a step closer, still unsure of what boundaries existed between you.

“I-I can’t help it. I’m just so happy!” you wrapped your arms around him, not caring who saw you. All that mattered in that moment was that the two of you were reunited at last.

“I missed you.” You couldn’t see his face, but you could tell he was crying too, by the way his heart beat against your, the way his hands shook, still wrapped around you in a tight embrace. Year’s worth of loneliness and regret spilled out of the both of you in a single moment.

You stayed like that for quite some time, allowing the relief to wash over you. When you looked at each other again, you couldn’t help but laugh at your state. You knew the scene must look ridiculous to any outside spectators, but none of them mattered. It felt like you were alone in the world, no barriers between you. Your class didn’t matter. You were just a boy and a girl who had been reunited.

“ The king was skeptical at first, knowing a commoner queen wouldn’t create any new alliances, but he could see the love his son had for the girl. And so they married. It’s said that the pair practically run down the stairs of the palace after their wedding, eager to get to their honeymoon, their laughter echoing through the streets.”

“That’s an ending befitting a prince Muku reads about in manga… I still don’t see where I fit into this… ”

“Fine. As they descended the staircase, the prince fell on his ass, causing even more laughter from the girl. A moment she would never let him forget.” You couldn’t help but laugh at the earnest look on Tsuzuru’s face. He may be clumsy, but he has always been kind.

“It will need a lot modifications, especially considering the fact that none of us can exactly pull off female roles, but it could work.” At some point through the story Tsuzuru seemed to have pulled out a notebook, in which he was now scribbling away.

“Are you seriously taking notes?” he was still focused on the story, not letting the inspiration go to waste.

“Of course I am. You’re brilliant!” he pulled you in for a kiss, taking you completely by surprise.

“You’re the best.” He turned back to his note taking, leaving you with flushed cheeks and a bright smile.

“You too.”

And they lived happily ever after.

#a3! act! addict! actors! #a3! tsuzuru #tsuzuru minagi #a3! matchups

[impaladolan]

Capture - Grayson Dolan [ae]

summary: somehow, someway, y/n was rescued from her enstranglements and open to the world again..

warnings: lil smut & swearing!

a/n: sadly, this is the last part of capture :( i hope you enjoyed this little series! ily, mwah💕

later note: this is now an alternate ending, i am continuing this fic!

part one, part two, part three.

In the moonlit hours of the night, where the nocturnal animals are out and about, the slight creak of a door radiated through the room of which you lie awake and sleepless in. You didn't dare to move, but rather freeze. You held your breath and squinted your eyes towards the door, where a shadowy figure entered with ease and quietness. "Are you awake?" The shadow of a man calls in a whisper, edging nearer and nearer towards you. You decided not to answer, internally preparing yourself for whatever was to happen.

You had finally given up.

It's been presumably a month since that fateful morning run that lead to where you are now, stuck in a house you've barely ventured. You felt disgusting and a far different person from who you once were before. It's been a week since you've showered, to ward off the man you've named asshole. You've gone blank, almost mute. You haven't talked in days and you don't plan to. But what looks to be a man, in the dark, in front of you had altered your motives. "Y/N, I've come to take you home. We don't have much time." Hands begin to shake your shoulders as the unfamiliar voice awakes you from your thoughts. "How?" Your voice comes out raspy, breaking a fresh load of tears that you haven't been able to cry in days. "Come with me, and be quiet." He orders as he pulls your hands to help you out of bed.

He presses his fingers against his lips, faintly saying "It's okay," to calm your overwhelming nerves. He leads the way, opening the creaky door just enough for the two of you to escape. He smoothly walks down the hall, with you following suit, and through a couple rooms until he opens another door, leading into a garage with an already started black car. He quickly opens the passenger seat and lets you in, waiting until you're fully seated before softly shutting it. You quickly buckle your seatbelt as he jogs around the front and into the other side. He seats himself and immediately backs up once the garage door is opened.

This can't be real.

You begin to pinch yourself, letting your tears run down your cheeks as you giddily smile, watching as you pass the wire fence and roll down the entirely too long driveway. "I'm sorry." The man, who you've not given a good look at yet, muttered. He didn't look at you, but he kept his eyes on the road and quickened his speed. You didn't respond, because you have nothing to say exactly.

"It's not my brothers fault, I promise." He gives you quick glance, his striking features an awfully good resemblance to asshole. "Then who is at fault!?" You felt your anger arise in you, but you hiccup and sniffle afterwards, clearing the fury-filled facade you were trying to encapsulate. "I've been trapped in a room for a month, sexually assaulted, malnourished, and taken away from all the people I love without an explanation. So tell me, who was it?" You asked, a hurt in your voice like the man had never heard before. He felt himself almost shed a tear at your words, shaking his head.

"He was forced to, by our leader. I can't give you names or details Y/N, but I must ask you not to press charges. I'll reimburse you with whatever kind of money you want, but if you fucking snitch, we're all dead. Including you, understand?" The tone of his voice caused your sniffles to hush and your eyes to bulge. Before you could answer, you feel his car halt and the view of your house, seemingly untouched, outside the tinted windows. "Grab your things, shower, and get back out here as quickly as possible." He demanded unlocking the doors and following you up to your doorstep.

You didn't question anything, grabbing your spare key from under the doormat and bursting into your home, the recognizable smell instantaneously calming you.

Wow.

You missed this place so much. All the pictures and nicknacks placed strategically around the place. You wished to lay on you sofa and squeeze all your pillows and smell all the smells that were so homely, but the man hurried you, standing guard at the door as you did all the things he asked, starting with a well needed shower and a change of clothes. After packing up things that you thought you'd need, you follow the man back to his car and hop in, waiting for his words. "Where's your nearest relative located?" He openly questions, starting the vehicle and beginning a slow drive, opposite to how he drove before.

"200 miles away, in a grave yard." You answer monotonously, staring straight ahead. "I figured, since there wasn't any search warrants out." He mumbled under his breath, though you heard. Your hearing had increased very much so throughout the entirety of a month, as well as your sneakiness you'd guess.

"Is there a place you can stay for the next week?" He furrowed his brows in question giving you his full attention the moment he stopped at a red light, where no other cars eerily surrounded. The moment he asked that question, your mind immediately went to one of your closest friends, whom you met in college and have stayed in touch with for the most part. Well, all except for an entire month. "Yes, drive to Belmont. I'll give you directions once we get in the city." You direct with a nod, pulling your knees to your chest and closing your eyes softly.

It's gonna be a long ride..

-

"Please, Daddy, I'll be good!" You beg as you watch him look over you with a wicked grin, his large hand stroking his erected length. You had your legs spread wide open, ready for his touch and warmth— whatever he could possibly do to make you feel good.

"Good girls don't run away." He sternly said, with what seemed to be an angered chuckle. His cold, merciless eyes beamed right into your own, his signature smirk dancing on his lips. He grabs your hips, flipping you onto your stomach with an ease, his hands softly gliding up and down your back. His fingertips alone sent core-aching shivers down your entire spine until your back was arched to his liking. His index finger traced a line all the way down your backside until it delved into your incredibly drenched pussy, shooting a foggy sense of mentality to your brain. He toyed with your folds, inserting two of his fingers at a relaxing slow place that made your stomach twist and turn with glee. You let out a couple sheer moans to yourself, basking in this quick moment of sensation before it turns to dust.

He continues his motions, gliding his other hand further up to caress your breast while he leans his mouth up towards your ear to lowly whisper; "You'd like to have this, wouldn't you?" You bit your lip with a happy sigh as his skillful fingers pick up a little speed, nodding your head for a slight yes to answer his question. "Words, sweetheart." You gasp when you feel his lips connect to your neck, his harsh sucking creating a slight difficulty to speak, as he wanted you to. "Yes, Daddy, I'd love to." It wasn't hard to figure out that he'd cease all of his orgasm creating actions just at your words.

"If only you didn't run away, you could've gotten what you wanted." His gruesome chuckles startled you, making you whimper with need. You look behind to see him licking his fingers with a smile, a smile you'd never forget.

"Y/N, wake up we're in Belmont." The man taps your arm lightly as his soft and soothing voice wakes you from your gut twisting slumber. You felt your entire body shutter with desire for more, and you felt a pooling within your panties.

Did you just have a wet dream about a kidnapper?

You caught your breath and blinked your eyes to get acquainted with the newly risen sun, trying to regain your memory. "What were you dreaming about? You kept saying daddy and shit, kinda hot." He gave you a suggestive smile as he chuckles, all the while your face burned up with embarrassment. You were almost annoyed— no you were peeved that he had woke you up from an amazing, imaginary sex marathon. "Nothing much, just fucking your brother." You shrug with a blank face, a hollowed chuckle emitting from his throat. "Ouch, women." He continues his small laughs, turning into a gas station and sliding right next to a pump.

"What do you want for breakfast?" He asks, getting out of the driver's side with a yawn. "To piss." You yawn as well, leaning back in your seat to stretch.

"I'd let you, but you'd probably make a run for it or something." He twists his body around, letting it breathe rather than being crunched in a car any longer. "Fine, a hash brown." You quickly answer, your mouth watering just to the thought. He nods, shutting his door and locking the vehicle twice. Once he's inside, you quickly scribble something on a random envelope, placing it in his seat before looking in the backseat for your bag. You quickly grab the straps and put your arms through the loops. With one last look at the man, who seemed to be getting your desired hash brown, you open the passenger side door and sprint as fast as possible before he'd notice the cars alert system sounding.

You run as fast as your legs could take you, keeping up a solid pace until you're in a recognizable neighborhood. You could still hear the car's endless beeping, which gave you hope that you'd finally be—

Free.

-

Thank you, for helping me escape. I've decided, within the few minutes of planning my escape as well, that I will not bring any of this up to the police, as I probably should. Yes, I was held there against my will, but I can't say I was exactly unhappy. So with that being said, never contact or try to find/kidnap me ever again. I will carry this baggage for the rest of my life, don't make it worse.

good riddance,

Y/N Y/L/N

(masterlist)

#ily #dolan twins #dolan twins smut #dt #dtfan10m #ethan dolan #ethan grant dolan #grant #grayson #grayson dolan #graysondolansmut #grayson dolan smut #grayson dolan fanfic #graysondolan #graysonbaileydolan #graysonbailey #dick grayson #Grayson #gray #Ethan #ethandolan #ethangrantdolan #ethangrant #ethandolansmut #dolantwins #capture #last part

[lilacandladybugs]

Hi, I'm grateful for your religion posts, I've always had a really strong relationship with God but in recent years I've just seen so many people hurt by Christianity and slowly become one of them myself (I've been closeted bi for more than two years, it's rough...). I feel out of place with people who've abandoned Christianity and out of place with people who are still fully committed, and I want to still love God but it's hard when religion burns me to think about most days. I'm sorry if this is putting things on you that you don't want to have to think about, but I just wanted you to know that it means a lot to me to see someone staying strong (and probably doing better at it than me)

Blessings 💙

Hello friend I’m glad I can be helpful! Yes I feel the same way, and I think until I’m fully healed I won’t have the energy or the patience to go back to a Bible study and walk them through how to be friends with people who are grieving, or traumatized, or lgbt, or otherwise different from them. So I’ve felt like I have all these thoughts I’ve developed over the years about who God is and what my identity is in him without having a place to talk about it but y’all’s asks give me a place to do that and not have to prove myself to people who have never grieved or ever been rejected by the church.

I’ve found a lot of solace in Isaiah 55 and in Job and Psalms, this post is getting long so I’ll make another with pictures, but just know I totally understand. There are books in the Bible for people like us though, the Bible was written for broken people, it’s a love letter to us man. And the Bible isn’t the only place where we can listen to God, he’s also all around us in nature, in our loved ones, in poetry, in music. I loved twenty one pilots and I have a few analyses I wrote at 17 about their music and how it was a cry asking God for help. “I don’t know where you are, you’ll have to come and find me, find me,” and Tyler screams it and I would just like scream it with him. 

I guess though that’s all you need sometimes. In that drought that’s all you need is that desire to ask God to show himself to you, that “want to want to” do what he says, that wishing you wanted to know him that’s all we need really. And then God takes over, and he promised where his word goes it will not return to him empty.

I’m sure you know this anon but to anyone else reading this the main story of the Bible is that God created us to be in a perfect free will relationship with him, but we used our free will to reject him instead. Since God is the source of life, when we cut ourselves off from him, it kills us slowly like a flower cut off a bush. Anything that goes against God’s will is called sin in the Bible, and so sin is basically the thing that cuts us off of the flower bush, because the natural consequence for turning away from God is death. But God was unwilling to let that be the end of the story and he chose to die in our place so that if we choose we can reenter that perfect relationship with God. And he rose again from the grave, conquering death, that separation that was originally created by our rejection of him.

In 2018 when I was first really realizing that there are people who call themselves christians and are also abusive I really had trouble delineating like who God is and who the Church is, because they aren’t the same you know? Church is made up of human beings, God is perfectly loving and perfectly just.

And one of my friends was trans and financially independent and recovering from religious abuse, and I remember him coming to my family’s house and my family’s church and realizing that God wasn’t this cruel distant judgmental being, that he loves us.

Anyway when my friend realized this he started going to church on his own, and one day as he was listening to the song “Come to the Alter” he said God spoke to him and said, “Come to me and I will be your father and you will be my son.” Which was a really big deal to him because God was willing to fill that role that his abusive ‘Christian’ parents were unwilling to fill, to use his correct pronouns, to meet him where he was, to love him unconditionally, to be his father.

When I heard that I legit cried for like three days and I wrote this:

— Feb 26, 2018

I have been overwhelmed yesterday and today with the goodness and love of God I had so underestimated. I feel the need to protect my friends and self from people who might hurt them, who don’t believe depression exists or handle them cruelly, but I didn’t realize I associated these people and my own brokenness with God himself. But God is not cruel. He does not hurt people on accident he doesn’t condemn, he meets us where we are tenderly like the gentle rays of golden sunshine peeking through the window in the morning or water of a lake lapping gentle on a stone beach.

His love is so pure, so respectful, and yet so overwhelming. Lord how cautious you have chosen to be with me, as one taming a wild deer, and Lord how I didn’t know how starved I am for your love! Oh Lord how you love my people so deeply and purely to stare into its depths though the water is clear I cannot see the end of it!

Father how can I fathom you? I knew who you were with my mind when I asked for our lives but how you have acquainted my heart with you! And you hold on and say “Here I am love, you are safe.” How safe I am with you! You are my nest in the winter where I go when frightened. Your triumph is so great I can’t speak or understand and so I just laugh and cry in joy and relief that you are here. Why do I remain so heavy laden? I should come to you or in you is miraculous peace. 

Never have I felt such joy as yesterday, even when (a friend) was released from the hospital my tears were as if I were grieving I could feel all of heaven rejoicing and singing.

Oh God how lovely you are! Stunning and perfect and kind.

Light reflected through ie and silvery breath on cold winters night just a whisper and a gorgeous sight.

Comparing the safety you bring to the love of humans is like comparing moisture to the ocean, a pebble to the rocky mountains, one note to a symphony.

I feel like I have seen for the first time, been loved for the first time, like Rapunzel escaping from her tower I look down and even what is as everyday as grass to you is a wonder to me.

Lord I don’t know what abusive things I’ve taken as normal, please introduce me to life as your child.

Thank you so much Dad

Thank you <3

------- 

I love you anon, keep me posted and I’ll keep giving you a ton of unsolicited advice hahahaha. The only other thought I had was that you don’t have to push yourself to worship God in any particular way! God isn’t just in worship music or just in the Bible. (although the Bible is the ultimate source of truth) sometimes the Bible can hurt to read when you’re traumatized and that is okay, God will meet you where you are. The word of God is not bound!! He’s not limited by your trauma, he’s not weakened by it, he can still do what he needs to do, just listen.

sister i wish you the best of luck, may God be with you wherever you go

#religion #religion tw #christianity #christianity tw #eslyea #i love you anon #good luck #god loves you #god loves your friends

[addictofsupernatural]

A Crush's Body

Loki Odinson x reader

Summary: You have to dress up in burlesque attire for a mission, and it has Loki angered and worried.

Word Count: 3352

"This is outrageous." Loki said as he shook his head and paced back and forth. "Who was the person to come up with such a stupidity of a plan?"

"Mm, Tony I think."

Loki quietly scoffed. "Of course."

You got up from the couch to stop Loki's pacing. "Really Loki, it's not that big a deal."

"Not that big a deal? Of course it is! They can't be treating you like some object! Have they no respect for you?!"

Loki learned a lot about respecting you over time. You met when Thor brought Loki back to the prison cell in the Avengers compound. You heard about Loki through Thor, and chose not to listen to any other bad renditions of him unless it was only from Thor. You could sympathize with Loki"s issues, and chose to befriend him.

"What are you doing?" He asked when you sat down next to the glass for the first time.

"I want to talk to you. Is there something wrong with that?" You smiled.

"Really? You want to talk to the big scary monster?" He mocked. "Why?"

"Because maybe you're not as evil as some people, including you, think. I think we have some things in common actually." He tsked at you and turned away, causing you to giggle in response. "If you don't want to talk, then that's okay. Just want you to know that I'm gonna come by a lot and it'd be a lot less boring if we did talk."

You then sat there for about an hour in silence. The next day you came back and did the same thing: sitting down with a smile in silence for a while before you'd leave again. You did it almost every day for three weeks before he finally did talk. "Why in Valhalla are you here again? What do you want from me?!"

"Not much. Just a conversation. Someone to talk to." You ignored his demanding tone and gently smiled.

"Why? People don't just want to have a conversation with me, so what do you really desire?!" He stomped over to the glass and glared at you.

"I don't like it when people feel lonely. I know what that's like, and I'm guessing it's something you had to deal with for a long time too. I don't see what's so bad about just talking."

He looked you up and down, both skeptical and curious. "What do you mean by you being lonely?"

You then talked to him almost every day. You told him about how your parents were ashamed of you for being born with your powers, and how you were always in the shadows of your siblings because they were normal. You both told each other a lot of stuff, and seeing you soon became the best part of his day.

One day Thor went to check up on his brother to see how mad he still was. This is when he saw you two. You were talking very animatedly, telling a story of some kind, and Loki was standing with his hands behind his back and a smile on his face. Thor then heard something he hadn't in a long time. He heard Loki burst into laughter.

"Am I interrupting something?" Thor asked as he came out of his corner.

You stopped what you were doing and looked at Thor. "Oh, no not at all. We were just talking. You two could talk now, I should actually have started on my paperwork sooner. I'll see you tomorrow Loki. Bye Thor."

Loki gave you a tight smile and a wave as you left. A frown replaced it once you were out of sight. "What is it now Thor?"

"I didn't know you were so well acquainted with Lady y/n." Thor smiled wide.

"Must you know everything about my life?" He bit back, though deep down he was happy that you didn't go blabbing your friendship with him to everyone. It made him feal like your friendship with him was real and not made by SHIELD to lower his guard.

"You seem smitten brother. She's a fair lady, with a good heart and a strong spirit."

"You don't need to be telling me things I already know brother!" He snapped, instantly regretting how that came out.

Thor paused, but his smile remained the same. "Maybe it's about time you left this cell. With supervision, of course. It is possible to pull some strings and have y/n be the one to supervise you." Of course Thor rooted for his brother, not that you knew.

By next week, you were in front of a crowd to watch Loki be release. Once he stepped out, he looked at you nervously, wondering if you'd be afraid of him now that nothing physically separated you two.

You smiled brightly and ran up to him instead, giving him a warm hug. You didn't care who or how many were watching. After a moment of hesitation, he reciprocated.

Pretty soon he didn't have to be supervised by you, and became an Avenger. Mainly for you. He had what midgaurdians would call a crush on you, as did you, but neither of you fessed up. This brings you to today, where you have to dress as a burlesque dancer and perform for a mission, which Loki hated.

"Loki, please. It's for the mission." His anger was starting to get you upset. "You know I have to do this. This is how I can help. Besides, I can really only be a either a freak or eye candy. There's no in between for me."

You averted his gaze, and he held up your chin to look you in the eye. "I only see you as a hero."

You put your hands on his shoulders and gently smiled. "You always know what to say to me." He returned the smile. "But I'm still doing it."

"You don't even want to actually do it!"

"Sometimes a hero needs to do something they don't like, for the greater good. Now I'm doing it no matter what and it'd mean a lot if I had some support from you."

He huffed. "Very well then. I just don't want someone to try and take advantage of you."

"You know I can handle myself. Me and Wanda have similar powers." He sighed and pulled you in for a hug, before letting you go and walking you outside to where the cars were waiting for you.

"I'm coming as well." Loki stated as he went into the car with you and Tony.

"And why is that?" Tony asked.

"Because you mortals don't know how to defend yourselves properly."

Tony huffed. "Just use your magic and don't be yourself."

As the three cars pulled up to the burlesque lounge around the back, you got out to hug the owner. "Hey Tess. Thanks again for letting me do this."

"Of course sweetheart. Anything for the neighbor who let me borrow some rent money. C'mon, let's get you dressed and ready."

Loki used magic to make himself unrecognizable, and sat at the same table as Tony, who was playing off as old him who just wanted to get drunk and pick up women. Wanda and Natasha were both waitresses, while everyone else hid and waited for their cue.

(This is what I picture as the outfit:)

After Tess did your makeup and had you in a costume, you waited to get on stage. In truth, you were nervous. Not because a rich man selling alien tech was about to watch you, and probably call you over. Not because you had to lead that dangerous man on in order to imprison him under wraps. You were nervous for Loki to see you like this.

It was time, and two other girls ushered you on stage with them. You went over this multiple times with them, and had the song and dance memorized by heart. The curtains rose and your performance began. You had no time to be nervous, because right now you had to become a performer.

Loki and Tony waited for you to come out on stage, having eyes on the man. "You excited to see your girlfriend come out on stage?"

"Tony." Steve said over the earpiece.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Loki scowled.

"Well, y'know, how you hover over her whenever she's doing something by herself and all. You'd figure that the two of you would be more than just friends."

"Tony leave it alone." Steve warned.

Loki glared away from him. "I came here because I was worried she was in incapable hands. You were the one who forced this idea upon her, were you not?"

"Look pal, at the end of the day, it was her choice. Nobody was going to force her to do anything. You just want an excuse to be around her; you want to swoop in and save the day. She lets you stick to her because kindness is her weakness, and you know it."

He snapped his head towards Tony. "Has it ever occurred to you that I'm around her because she makes me want to show kindness? Is it really wrong that I want to protect one of the very few people to actually care for me in my life?"

Wanda passed by the table to give them new drinks. "Really Tony, maybe it's not a bad thing that they're so close. Let them be friends."

Tony didn't have time to respond before the curtains went up and your show was starting. And what a show it was. None of them have seen you showing that much skin, and you were known for getting into your undercover character, so you were just really giving it your all.

Loki was astonished. He couldn't take his eyes off you. You were so beautiful. You had shared your insecurities with him about your body and yourself, but all he saw was perfection. You were perfection.

Soon your performance was over and you went to the bar to sit down. That was when he got up and sat down right next to you. They told you that the man had a type for girls who looked like you, and ones with innocent personalities.

Loki saw that you gave him a cute smile and giggled when he said something. All too soon you began to follow him up to the VIP lounge. He watched you happily walk up the stairs in front of him where he checked out your ass, and into a room where the doors closed. A few minutes later, everybody was signaled.

"Alright sweetheart, sit down on a couch." When you entered, the big room was aligned with body guards, guns in hand.

"Mkay." You gave him another smile. "What are we gonna do?"

He chuckled. "What do you want to do?"

"Mm, I don't know, but can you have your men lower their guns please? It's making me a little nervous."

One of his men whispered something to him, causing him to nod and face you. "How are you not getting scared mindless from all these men with guns sweetheart? That's awfully suspicious."

"I've seen my fair share violence. I might be a little used to it but that doesn't mean I like it." You gave him a pout. "Please put the guns away."

"Sweetheart, I like you, I really do, but no. My men don't back down for anyone. Now I'm not saying their suspicious of you, it's just in case for anyone else."

You heard from your earpiece that they took down everybody in the back. You sighed and got up. "Well that's a shame. I really thought I was getting into character."

You put up all their guns in the air, and flung it to the back wall. "You bitch! What the hell are you?"

"Do you have a problem with people that have powers? Is it because you feel powerless around them? Do you feel smaller than me right now?" You grinned.

"Shut up!"

"It's okay. As someone you have to look up to, it's only fair if I give you advice to cope with the fact that you're not special at all." He lunged at you, and you used your powers to slam him to the ceiling and drop him back to the floor, causing him to knock out. Everybody stared at you in shocked silence. "What? You can't tell me he wasn't being a creeper."

Everybody else then busted the door open to fight with all the men lined up. Loki appeared next to and gave you a warm smile, handing you his two blades. "Care to show me if you were actually listening to my teachings?"

You nodded and fought the guy charging at you. In a few moments you were standing over his unconscious body, and turned to Loki. "Did I do it right?"

"You excelled little one." His smile became a little wider.

"C'mon Loki I'm not even that short!" He laughed and put your cap over your eyes. You fixed it and gave him a pout. "You owe me Taco Bell now. I hope you're happy."

As the two of you walked to Taco Bell later on in the night, Loki conjured his fur cape and put it over your shoulders to keep you warm. "Why didn't you just get me a jacket?" You chuckled.

"Because... This will keep you warmer than some cheap jacket you own." He regretted saying it as soon as it came out. He hoped you didn't notice how heated his face felt.

You only laughed and shook your head. "Ouch!" You playfully pushed his shoulder gently. "We need to work on our wording."

"What I meant was that I want you to stay as warm as possible. I'm a naturally cold person so I don't know how to make you feel better." Loki blurted out. You smiled as he held open the door for you. Luckily there was nobody else inside since it was the middle of the night, and he wouldn't have to endure stares.

"Thank you Loki. Always considerate." You got to the cashier. "Hi! Can I have a number 10 with iced tea please?" He smiled at you and nodded, inputting your order. "What are you gonna get Trickster?"

"Just 2 hard shelled tacos please." He caught you snickering. "Why do you always laugh when I say that word?"

"What? You have a British accent, how can I not laugh when you say tacos? It's just so funny." You giggled as he huffed.

Just then three girls came inside, and laid their eyes on Loki. One of the girls whispered something before making her way to him as the other two watched and chuckled. "Hey! You're Loki right? Thor's brother?"

You and him glanced at each other. He hated it when people addressed him just as Thor's brother. He's his own person. "That is correct, yes. Is there a problem?"

"Of course not! Y'know I was so happy when it came out that you weren't evil. You were just being controlled, which I could tell deep in my heart. With a face like yours, I knew you weren't bad!"

She wrapped her arms around him, clearly invading more than one boundaries. Loki tried to gently push her off. "It would be of great service if you would please back up a bit."

She gave him a pout, "Why? Don't you wanna talk some more?"

"I'd rather not." He pushed her gently, and she stumbled a bit on her foot before putting her hands on Loki's shoulders.

"Y'know, I'll just be straight forward. It's on my bucket list to hook up with an Avenger, and right now I feel like the both of us can have a fun night."

"In Odin's name, no! I don't indulge myself with pure and utter harlotry. And besides, I'm with a friend right now."

She then looked at you, scowling. "Her? Really? Some girl having you buy fast food in the middle of the night for her? It's not like she needs any more food."

She looked you up and down. You frowned, wrapping your arms around your stomach. The cashier was ticked off from watching this. "Then what are you doing here?" He mumbled.

Loki pushed her arms away from him forcefully. "Don't talk about her like that! Leave, now." There was so much command in his voice, and it scared all three girls out of the Taco Bell.

The cashier looked at you hugging yourself. "Don't worry about people like her." He told you. I've seen thirsty people like that a lot more in this Taco Bell than you might think actually." He offered you a smile, and you gave him a half-hearted laugh.

"Thanks. It was nice meeting you." You said quietly, weakly smiling as you and Loki left.

You both walked in silence on the way to your apartment. Soon you took off the cape and handed it to Loki. "Y/n, are you–"

"I'm not cold." You said blankly. He didn't press, simply nodding as he made the cape disappear. You then made it to the steps of the apartment complex. "Good night."

You began to walk upstairs, but Loki grabbed your wrist. "What about your food?" He held up the bag.

You shrugged. "Not hungry anymore."

Loki stepped closer. "Let me in the apartment. We need to talk and I prefer we do it in private." You didn't want to get him upset so you weakly nodded, walking up the stairs together and into your small apartment. Loki shut the door. "Why are you upset?"

"I'm not–"

"You're not a liar, so don't become one. Now why are you upset?"

"Because what happens when you realize that girl's right? I mean, you saw my body today! I can't even try to hide it anymore since you've seen basically everything. I just feel like sooner or later you'll realize that I'm nothing special and eventually get bored or sick of me and–"

"Stop talking." He said as he grabbed your arms.

"Okay." You squeaked.

He then brought you in for a hug. "Love, how many times must I tell you to stop thinking so poorly of yourself? You know I don't see you that way, and never will. That woman was just... What the nice cashier man said... She was, um, thirsty."

You giggled, wrapping your arms around him. "Do you even know what that means?" You asked.

"A person who does bawdy actions to get someone to bed them?" He asked as he looked down curiously at you.

You smiled. "Yeah actually."

He drew his eyes to your lips, his thumb stroking your bottom lip. "I think you're the most gorgeous woman in all the nine realms. Everything about you draws me in. Not just your amazing looks, but your light aura, your laugh, your kindness and how genuine you are with me. How can anybody not love you?"

You looked up at him, shocked, and didn't say anything. You gently grabbed his wrist to move his hand away and stood on your toes to give him a short, soft kiss. You two looked at each other in silence before he grabbed your face and pulled you into a passionate kiss. Your lips fit so well with his, so right. This felt right.

He titled his head to deepen the kiss, licking your bottom lip as a request. You opened your mouth a little wider to let him slip his tongue into your mouth. He eventually left wet kisses on your jaw and trailed it down to your neck, nipping slightly. When you felt his hands feel under your shirt, you grabbed his arms to stop him. He pulled back immediately.

"Please forgive me! I don't know what came over me. I violated your trust and–"

"Loki, stop talking." You copied after him. You gave him a peck on the lips. "You're fine. I have really strong feelings for you, and you have no idea how happy I am right now. But I want to savour this. I want to take it slow."

"You do?" He looked at you sceptically. You excitedly nodded and grinned. He brought you in for a big hug. "I've never been wanted this way before. The feeling is intoxicating."

"That's just you feeling really happy. And you know you're always wanted with me." You gave him a bunch of pecks on the face, feeling the rumble of his chuckling. "C'mon, let's eat our food."

#loki (marvel) #loki laufeyson #loki imagine #marvel fanfiction #marvel #marvel loki #loki marvel #loki mcu #mcu loki #loki odinson #loki odison x reader #loki odinson x reader #loki odinson x you #loki odinson x y/n #loki layfeyson x reader

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK] [WATTPAD] [QUOTEV]

NOTE: Okay I just really liked writing this chapter. It's probably my favourite out of the past 15 and the next few (yes the rough drafts are already in existence). Dunno why exactly. Thanks again for everybody reviewing and reading along, I hope you guys are enjoying!

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Moonlight filled the corners of the night that the receding campfire missed as they walked along the beach. They had unanimously left the fireside after Elsa watched Anna's expression gaining more and more certainty. And wonder: she wasn't sure she had ever seen true, genuine wonder in another person's expression before. Not until now.

"So… what's your real name?"

"Elsa," she told her with a laugh.

"Oh. I guess… I thought that was a character? To go with the accent."

"Sorry. I didn't know what to do when I saw you suddenly there, and panicked. That was… really stupid."

Anna shook her head. They were both carrying their shoes, Chucks in Anna's hand and pricey black heels in Elsa's. Could they be any more different - from different worlds? What an ill-advised mish-mash they were. But it was one she couldn't stop from happening. Didn't want to stop.

"Not stupid. I guess I just… I don't even know what I thought would happen when I got here, but it's all so… weird. Am I weird in person?"

"Yes." They both laughed. "But no moreso than usual. No worse than me."

"Then… is it… did you not want to meet me?" She held up her free hand to forestall her answer. "Sorry. That's a super loaded question, I'm a bitch."

Elsa shook her head. "You aren't. I am." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You aren't available, Anna. It's not right for me to pursue this. And I'm… we won't be able to have anything like a healthy relationship because of who I am. So I just… I know that what I've been doing is… foolish, and stupid. But I can't seem to let you go."

At some point, Anna had stopped, and Elsa turned to blink at her. She wasn't sure what she expected to hear her say but it wasn't, "Dude… you're into me."

"Huh?"

"Can't take it back now," she said with a big grin, turning her head a little to the left to appear more mischievous as she leaned forward for emphasis. "You liiiiike me."

"What?! O-of course I like you, we're friends!"

"C'mon, don't try that. You said you didn't want to 'pursue this', which is like, a super nerdy way to say you got the hots for me but can't take me to Poundtown."

Thank God it was dark or her blush would have been visible for miles. "Th-that is absolutely not how I would ever put it."

"Yeah, I know." Anna approached, and at first Elsa backed up… but she was so beautiful under the stars, with the crashing waves in the background, that she felt rooted to the spot. To let the inevitable happen, whatever it might end up being. "Because you're a classy bitch. And geez you're so tall, wow."

Even the word "bitch" didn't hurt coming from Anna.

"Okay," she whispered softly as Anna came to a stop, mere inches away from her. "Maybe… you aren't wrong. But what does it matter?"

"It matters a lot. Because…" She bit her lip. A love confession was coming, and Elsa couldn't hear it - not while there were obstacles in the way. NO! Not "obstacles"; those could be removed, and she didn't want to drastically change both of their lives. Not just for her own greedy desires.

"Wait," she whispered, laying a finger on Anna's lips. "I… you can't."

"Hmmm?" she asked, heeding the request not to speak. Even though she could have easily batted the hand aside.

"You know how I feel about coming out. My contract… and… I don't think you're ready to leave him." Anna's expression turned bleak, so she barrelled ahead, "And you don't know what your life will be like once the public figures out we're together."

Rolling her eyes, she did finally take Elsa's hand. Didn't just smack it - she took it and held on. Did that have to feel so soft and exquisite? "So what? They can't hurt me."

"They can. Nobody knows you're Roxanne now, but wait until thirsty paparazzi get ahold of your picture. I can't stand the thought of me ruining the rest of your life."

"Well… I mean, it didn't ruin MIa Khalifa, so…"

"Who?"

"Nevermind." She laid both hands on Elsa's shoulders now; when did she drop her shoes? "Listen. It's super sweet that you're trying to white knight me-"

"I told you before, that isn't-"

"-but I can take care of myself. I'm a big girl with big girl panties." She added a wink. "You bought me some of them."

"You haven't seen it," Elsa protested weakly, cupping the shorter girl's cheek. She leaned into it and it took concentrated effort not to get highly distracted. "People destroyed by their reputations. Both of us would be, but I knew what I was getting into with this business. You don't; not really, not from the inside like I do."

Anna let out a weak laugh. "Actually, the way you talk about your mom and dad, you didn't, either."

"Well… okay, that's true. But I could always change careers; I chose to remain in the public eye as an adult."

"What if I want to choose to be internationally known as some slutty camgirl if it means I'm your slutty camgirl?" When Elsa didn't respond right away, she let out a soft laugh, leaning down to bump her forehead against her shoulder. "Wow. This is… like, I don't know why I'm surprised I have it as bad as you do. Like, I'm in LA!"

"Santa Barbara."

"Whatever. Point is, I drove to another state to meet you. That's big for just some acquaintance, but normal for a crush."

"Anna…" She pet over her soft hair, relishing the warmth. "Are we really making this mistake together? Are we that hopeless?"

"Looks like it."

"What about classes? Your anonymity? Hans?"

"Fuck all that. I'm… I can worry about them tomorrow."

Rolling her eyes toward the moon, as if asking for help, she pulled that trim, warm body closer against her own. Staving off the chill wind of the mild SoCal winter. "You make it sound so easy. To ignore consequences."

"It is. Dealing with them's still gonna be hard if I stress, so why stress? At least this way, I get to enjoy right now. With you."

Neither of them said anything more for a while. They just stood there and tried to use each other's body heat as a shield against a cold, unforgiving world.

                                    To Be Continued…

#Very Important Person #elsanna fanfiction #forkanna writes #elsanna #jess the writer

[namjoonchronicles]

happy new year beautiful, i'm here to spread some love!!! in celebration of 2019 tag your 19 favorite blogs/mutuals 🎉

you did not just tell me to tag people I love, i have like a lot. Happy new year my sweets, may you be blessed with good health, enormous wealth, graduate, get a job, give yourself a gift (me), sleep better, eat better (pls i cannot stress on this enough!), get you a spa day by yourself, and just treat yourself… start the year with a de-stress, we have 364 days to go… 

here’s my favourite people who run such magnificent blogs and people I have to talk to, on regular basis like taking my non-existent anti-depression pills:

@namjoonslion​ you knew you’re gonna get tagged, abby don’t even try to deny, and I probably never tell you how much you meant to me a lot, but I really do appreciate you, I love the spirits you have and our overall nothing-can-go-wrong VS but-it-might contra is something I hold dearly and I’m not sure why it worked out this long. We’re like Sadness & Joy pair in Disney Pixar’s Inside Out. And that’s just so cute now that I think of it. You walked into my life one day, and it’s like the sun came out. I feel like you’d give the best hug because you’re tol and I’m smol@magical-warlock​ my pisces, demi darling whom I love and rarely talk to nowadays, you always know how to cheer me up with some random ass text post of cute sayings and marvel things and I’m just wanting to catapult myself to Holland every time you send me a picture of your town. It’s honestly the best town that fits me. I would walk days with you and talk and hold hands, sigh. We shared a lot of stories together, and I feel like we’re both undergoing something very tough, I always know you have my back and you’ll have mine. Being associated to you is the best things that happened in my years in Tumblr and I truly mean it when I say I care about you.

@minseoltanggi​ baby fish! bat, you are by far the closest one to me of all my tumblr friends because we live in the same country and you’ve seen my face before. You are adorable af and I hope you don’t be scared of turning 15 soon, it’s an experience, you have to embrace it as you go and don’t worry too much. You are a smart little girl and have many potentials, so don’t let your fears shackle you down to earth because I want to see you be that Astronomy expert you wanted to become! And if you changed your mind mid-way that’s fine, too. I’m sorry that I can’t get on tumblr as often as I’d like and message you. I do hope your blankets are warm and your pillows are soft, every night. 

@luciddrugs​ same age dudette, Alexa! I know we’ve not been acquainted until the last few months of 2018 and dare I say, you’re by far the most passionate blossoming ARMY I have ever met. You desire to know and understand Hoseok is beyond me, like wow, you helped me see another side of Hoseok and that’s something not many people could have done, and I sort of understand when you spazzed about him not getting a lot of attention, because TRUE DAT. I mean look at my man Namjoon, these two gets push back along with Jin sometimes and it saddens me. having another hyungline stan is ultimately a blessing, like, thank you for SCREAMING HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HOBI BECAUSE GURL YASSSSSSS… /two idiots screaming in the middles of the sea–flashbacks lmao)

@fangirlaholicxx​ Divvie. My other gun. My right-hand women. If yall read my writings i can’t say crappy anymore because that would be an insult to Div’s work  its her you should thank, my writings starting from Catching Fire, was proof read by her. And if I don’t get Div squealing, don’t bet I’ll release any of the fics. She’s my fuel, my gasoline, she keeps me going, and is my personal cheerleader. She makes great moodboards and it’s a matter of time until she ripens to her full form and bless us with her endless creative tendencies, just watch. I love her…so much. I don’t think she knows that. Thanks for catching me when I fall. /seals love letter with a heart wax/

@submissive-bangtan​ caro, caro, CARO! I love your brain and the intricate words you use. You know a whole world I didn’t know about and it’s because of you I’ve learned new things. You’re always so generous with your knowledge and following you was the best thing I’ve ever done? Like I came as a sub bts enthusiast (a dying clan) and pledge loyalty, but you gave me a Pandora box of tricks and passion. I think you’re super cool and I’m always so shy to make first move, so when you answered my tags, it makes my heart bloom? Can someone have that much power? Germans, I tell you…sigh.

@yourladyhobi18​ Luisa 💞🌹 we never actually spoke but endlessly tagging each other on posts of our knights and saviours, sometimes without context and we do it like it’s the most natural thing in the world and honestly I desired this kind of connection for the longest time, and I never knew I needed it until you came. I guess this is how two shy people become friends lmao.

@majestikblue​ you are a very mysterious one. You come unexpected and return when you desired. You always sends the nicest text out of nowhere and I’m always smiling when I see your texts?? Like how do you always know me going through tough times, did you put a camera on me?? Should I be staring at the corners so you could see me kiss you or what? I don’t even catch your name, and I don’t think I’ve ever asked…what kind of friendship is this, Anissa? I just want to say I appreciate you and your existence, please don’t ever change.

@lovethyfandoms2​ how could I forget you and Digby when you’re the first person to actually come and talk to me. I know you’re super busy at college now, and I wish you all the best. I hold the memories and conversations we had, close to my heart and will never forget them. Happy New Year, Josie. And it all began with a random ass link you accidently sent me haha, I remembered that lmao, I was so confused. Do all friendship began this weird though, I wonder haha! Josie, survive made it out 2018! Woo woo!

Nothing less important, in fact! Very important people that I cannot possibly forget ever, is my lovelies, whom I dearly appreciate and desire to protect forever and always, may this year bring you more positive hopes and help you dream, gives you something to smile for, and I have nothing else to offer but my stories and the comfort they bring, but should you feel the need to talk to me, come any time…

@rapmooni @tinyjjks @kai-tashi @monosgf @babybee05 @leesuzy09 @seokjins-epiphany @hobi-isadaydream @zynnami @verracotta @joonraw @seoulso @bloodyspell​ @8xxakiraxx8​ @therealredraven​ @ursulabtslover​ @triviamang​ 

I plan to make a separate post for this, and have more affectionate things to say, but if you’re not mentioned here, please don’t feel upset… I know most of you hide behind the comfort of an anon, and that’s okay. But If you’re reading this and felt like you are invincible? You’re not, I see you, I recognise you. And I appreciate every each and every one of you. I keep you in my thoughts when I see you reblog my writings and say nice things in the tags, and when you like my drunk depressive posts. I know you guys are wonderful people with good hearts. You’re the REAL reason why I began, continue and desire to write, I hope I’ll be able to do more in the future. I have so many more people to thank, and I’d personally shake each of your hands and give you a hug if I could and know your face. 

Thank you for seeing me, thank you for noticing me, thank you for listening to my stories. Thank you for a wholesome end of 2018 and here’s to a beautiful start in 2019. 🥂 (i’m buying sodas and pizzas for us all) happy fucking new year babes

#to my followers #asks #answered

[craycraybluejay]

Quora Post

Saw a Quora post about early signs of sociopathy and my childhood matches a lot of well known signs but, well, I'm not a sociopath, to my knowledge. I feel things. I feel other people's feelings. Hell, I feel people's physical pain.

A fascination with and impulse for the macabre and taboo, check

Early "adult" behaviour, check

Whatever else that I don't remember but I remember agreeing with, check

Except I do feel things, very strongly. And I feel for others, depending on the person, very strongly.

Sometimes I care and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I hedonistically follow my impulses and sometimes I don't. How can I know what exactly is up with me when no fact about me stays one way for very long? Aside from my interests, I guess.

My mind is a constantly morphing hellstorm, my therapist tells me I'm her most fascinating patient. I tell her I'd be glad to let her pick my brain every day if I could afford it.

An acquaintance of mine said the jumping between care and apathy is a borderline trait, which made me rather annoyed. Not because I haven't considered it but rather because I have considered it and done my share of research to confirm or deny. Hell, I've lived with a borderline + narcissist my whole life. I have no delusions of other people owing me or being somehow part of me, or insignificant. I have no desire to use cheap manipulation tactics in conversation. I have no inexplicable mood swings, and whenever my mood does become intense it rarely lasts more than a day at most. I don't use suicide as an attention threat; I'd rather people left me alone if I'm planning my ticket out of here.

So I don't really know what's wrong with me. There's so much going on in my head I wouldn't be surprised if I actually wanted to seek diagnoses that I would be diagnosed with nearly every disorder known to man. Disorders are diagnosed by behaviour patterns; which I have both too few and too many of.

Regardless of disorders, though, I don't think they define me. I think I'm relatively good at keeping my little hellworld in check. I can be a good person if I want to be, but I don't always care. I operate on logic mainly; it is much more linear and stable than emotion and opinion. Opinion can be helpful though. Feeling does drive a lot of my moral decisions though; I feel disgusted with the idea and my experience with being manipulated. I think anyone who resorts to such cheap tactics to try to "win" with people is pathetic and clearly lacking enough mental capacity to just talk straight.

This is getting long but uh. I feel the constant pathologizing of human behaviours and responses to stimuli is actually pretty harmful to people, and it has confused and stressed me out on numerous occasions trying to figure it all out. I don't see a need to create labels. They're confusing and there's much room for debate; unnecessary debate and unnecessary confusion simply for the laziness and unwillingness to give up power of others. If someone's manipulative, just say that. If someone's violent, just say that. If someone's anxious, just say that. Knowing someone's disorder label isn't *helpful* to me. I have a friend with adhd who is much different in how it presents than I am and I sometimes doubt they have it. Why? Because all this labelling leaves little room for nuance or actual explanation of behaviours. Like what do you mean that guy's a sociopath? "He hurts animals and generally feels empty and bored." Like okay, just say that! It makes much more sense!

#personal rant #rant post #rant #mental health