#like i would just blindly follow you like an obedient dog | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ghoularaki · 2 months

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baby's breath | 3

↠ summary: Merely by coincidence, Erwin, your father's former friend had crossed paths with you again after nearly a decade. He offered solace once finding out you were struggling with not just school, but your home life as well. His home he shared with another one of your father's friends, Levi, became a sanctuary. Though, the more you came over for study sessions, the more they wiggled themselves into your private life. And like baby's breath, they weeded themselves in so deep you couldn't uproot them.

↠ word count: 3,824

↠ pairing: levi ackerman x reader x erwin smith

↠ genre/warnings: angst, smut, modern au, DARK CONTENT, yandere, noncon/dubcon, daddy kink, forced infantilism, pet play, age gap, death threats, human trafficking, bdsm

When Erwin came home elated Levi knew to be cautious. The larger man rarely got excited over anything really. For years, the two had dabbled in the darker side of business. After so long, it’s hard to really say what started it and why they do what they do.

Levi had grown up on the streets and seen the horrors the world had to offer. A dog eat dog type mentality had stuck with him. If he wanted to point fingers, he could place the blame on his uncle for getting him looped in a sex trafficking ring. He wasn’t proud of what he did: alluring women and men alike to damned them to a life of suffering, but the guilt dissipated.

He got paid good money to step on the backs of others. A man could only handle filth for so long. Levi was able to leave the depths of hell and crawl his way to normal civilization. Within two years he could afford his own home on the outskirts of the city.

Erwin was nothing like Levi. He didn’t join the ring out of desperation, but out of curiosity. A deep hunger grew to see how far he could take it. Watch how he could puppeteer a human’s life and reduce them to smaller bits of themselves.

At the time Erwin had gotten his first job as a professor. They met on pure coincidence as Levi was under the guise of a janitor to scope out new recruits. Again, Levi couldn’t remember how the topic of conversation came up of his real profession, but Erwin's eyes flickered with a sadistic twinge. Erwin wanted to help. He knew his charm and how to convince any man to follow him blindly would be beneficiary. He did have a way with words afterall.

And apparently so as Levi let him into his world.

Within almost a decade the two had created their own ring separate from Levi’s uncle. To this day it flourished. Money was never an issue on top of Erwin’s income as a professor.

So when Erwin came bursting through the front doors with a wide grin on his face Levi was perplexed. The large man never got this happy over a new recruit. A sick apathy mixed with pleasure usually present on his visage, never a smile.

“I found her,” Erwin said, hanging his coat on the rack.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You know how I wanted a personal pet—”

Levi groaned, “I thought we dropped this.”

“Let me finish,” Erwin continued while toeing off his shoes, “This isn’t some girl I’m picking off the street. I used to know her as a child and she’s just… God, she’s perfect, Levi. I tested it out since I took her out for coffee and she was so obedient. She’s hesitant at first, but with a little push, she was so good.”

Crossing his arms, Levi listened to Erwin rant, skeptical. “So what do you want to do?”

Erwin turned sheepish, “I invited her over for tomorrow.”

“You can’t just spring this shit on me,” Levi pinched the middle of his eyebrows in exasperation. Erwin had a problem of bringing home strays.

“She’s different, trust me.”

“We will see about that.”

~*~

The next day when you came over, Levi had no clue what to make of you. You were not what he was expecting. He didn’t think you would be so young. Maybe in your late twenties or even thirties, but not a young woman still an undergrad. Also you were not any bit obedient as Erwin made you out to be.

You had a mouth on you and loved to give Levi an attitude. Your nonchalant questioning of when he answered the door instead of Erwin sunk deep into the man. A want to bend you over his knee itched and burned under his skin. Erwin definitely did this on purpose. He knew how much Levi loved to play with his food.

Though, a tiny part of him softened when he saw your love for tea. You also didn’t question his odd way of holding his cup. Curious eyes glanced before going back to the topic at hand. Erwin diligently helped you with your homework as you soaked up his words. You had no clue this was a trial run.

And you unknowingly passed.

The more time you spent with them, the more Levi wanted to pick you apart and study you. You were an unbearably independent person. Any help offered besides Erwin’s assigned tutoring was met with a multitude of refusals. Even when the secret came out that you were homeless surfaced, you still didn’t want to live in their—well Levi’s—extravagant home.

Your disregard for them offering you a life of comfort was even off putting to Levi. But he had to admit, if twenty-two year old Levi had someone open their luxury home to him, he would be suspicious. This only furthered his interest.

But time withers even the hardest of stone to sand. Over the course of a few months, Erwin had slithered his way into every part of your life like mold. Any foundation you had Erwin engrained himself deep into the grout. A type of spore you couldn’t scrub out.

Levi had taken a backseat to Erwin’s process. This is what the two men usually did when luring victims in. The shorter man would scope out new prey while Erwin hooked them in with promises of riches and to be Erwin’s new lover. You were different. Whether this was to your benefit or misfortune twisted in Levi’s head. He wasn’t stupid to the type of men him and Erwin were. You were bound to crumble in their hands. For your sake, he hoped Erwin wouldn’t get bored as fast.

Though, he was still tempted. He tested the waters by trapping you against the counter. How could he not with how much you poked and prodded him? The mouth on you encapsulated him in a way no other person had. Usually backtalk infuriated Levi to the point of violence, but the need to hurt you was something some would argue was far darker.

So when he easily pinned your leg to the counter and your pathetic attempt to break free, planted the seed Erwin wanted to engrain in him from the beginning. Sure the man chewed him out later that day since you almost opened the door, but he only met him with typical apathy. You were bound to find out eventually and frankly, Levi was too old for this game of cat and mouse.

The tension never left the home. He was sure you thought you were to blame, but the bubble waiting to burst was between the men of the household. Erwin didn’t want to scare you and have you flee, though the sentiment flew right out the window when he hit you.

Levi just about fought Erwin when he slapped you so hard blood poured from your pretty face. He squashed down the want, and coddled Erwin as he babbled and stared at his own hand in contempt. Grabbing a washcloth, Levi rubbed away the red staining his fingers.

“She will come back. Be patient.”

Erwin had a far away look in his eyes as they slid to Levi, “I don’t need patience.”

Levi pinched his brows in confusion. The man was being cryptic again. His confusion was quickly answered when over a month later, you stomped your way to the door. Pounding on the sheet of wood like a mad woman, Levi rubbed away the migraine forming.

Anger radiated around you. Levi didn’t know much of what Erwin did to get you crawling back, but it wasn’t good. You were spitting fire as you barrelled into the home. Levi didn’t have the energy to scold you. All he was aware of that day was D-day. No matter what, you were to be theirs.

The argument escalated and Levi’s questions were finally answered. He didn’t think Erwin was batshit enough to completely cut you off from everything. Impressed by his strategy once again, Levi stood back watching it all unfold. He honestly wanted Erwin and you to argue more, but when Erwin nodded to him Levi heeled.

Wrapping his arm around your throat and suffocating you was unnecessary, but he enjoyed feeling you struggle under him. How you clawed for oxygen. Humans are so fascinating and their primal instincts to survive. Levi wanted to instill at least a little bit of fear in you. No matter how much hot shit you think you are, he will always be stronger.

Your body fell limp in his arms. As he moved his arms to carry you, Erwin detached Levi from you. He wrapped his own limbs around your form in a princess carry. Levi followed behind when you were taken into the room designed just for you. Erwin’s pace reflected giddiness. He had been waiting for this day for years. A little baby doll for him to play with.

Levi went ahead of the lumbering man to open the door for him. Gently, Erwin rested you on the soft, carpeted floor. He had no idea when you would awaken and he didn’t want you to be startled by the crate. Plus, the crate was more Levi’s idea than his.

You had slept through the whole rest of the day and through the night much to Levi’s surprise. Anxiety radiated off of Erwin as he prepared for work.

“Call me if she wakes up.”

“No shit,” Levi answered, in the middle of finishing up Erwin’s lunch.

Neatly packing the food in a bag, he handed the food to him. Erwin’s eyes bounced to the hallway where your sleeping body resides. Levi ushered Erwin out and he obeyed.

With a sigh, he closed and locked the door. To be completely honest with himself, Levi was also growing anxious. Normally the toxin would wear off by now as it was seven in the morning. But, he did give a higher dosage than usual. He had no clue how much you would’ve struggled. Pacifying his own fears, he reassured himself you would be awake by this afternoon.

Walking into the bedroom, your body hadn’t moved an inch from where Erwin placed you on the floor. An itch built up from under his nails at the thought of the filth accumulating. You hadn’t bathed since early yesterday and were in the same clothes. Knowing the scratch won’t go away until you were properly cleaned, Levi bent down and took you to the bathroom.

Washing and dressing you was easy, but felt strange. Levi felt as if he was cleaning a doll instead of an adult. You were so lifeless, limp. Pushing the thought away, he went through your pants and found your phone along with your keys. The little metal piece reminded him your car was still in their yard. Pocketing the keys, his attention went to your phone.

His thumb pressed the side button and your phone activated. The soft glow illuminated his face as he spied your lockscreen. It was an old photo of you and what he assumed were your siblings. What a melancholy image. You clearly missed your family, but had no way back to them. Sliding up he was met with your four digit passcode.

After a couple tries, Levi cracked it with ease. Face buried in your phone, he closed the door behind him and crossed into the main part of the home. Levi instantly went into your messages. You didn’t have many contacts, most were either for work or college. The only active chats were between you, Levi and Erwin.

He moved on to your camera roll as he grabbed his own keys. They clicked together like tiny bells. Turning his attention to the door, he locked it with an audible click and moved to his truck. His curiosity would have to wait as he couldn’t drive and look at your phone at the same time. Pocketing the device, he got in his truck and twisted the ignition on. The black truck rumbled to life and sputtered a bit.

Twisting his body to see out the back window, he drove the car until it was right in front of yours. Jumping out, he grabbed a chain and hook. Attaching the car to your car, Levi grumbled under his breath at their stupidity. Leaving your car in the driveway for this long was an idiotic move. He only wished the neighbors weren’t paying too close attention. They were far away anyway and minded their business. But the problem was driving out in public. The best time would be at night, but the longer the car was here, the more suspicions would fall on them.

Slinking back into the driver’s seat, Levi planned to simply take only backroads. No one really drove in this part of the city anyway. His body shook from side to side driving down the bumpy, gravel roads. The tiny rocks crunched under his tires.

About an hour out Levi met with the lake he visited time and time again. The lake was secluded and not marked by any national park. Deep in the outskirts no one cared to know about. Childhood memories whispered in the air. Pulling up, his truck sunk a little from the soft ground. The area was more of a swamp than anything. The mud would welcome your car in its suffocating embrace.

Hopping out of his truck, Levi clicked his tongue at the wet earth seeping into his boots. Pulling out your key, your car beeped as he unlocked it. He opened the door and twisted your car on. Rolling down the windows half way, he then bent over to switch the gear into drive. Quickly, he ducked out of the car and watched as it drove into the lake. The water slowly swallowed the vehicle. Levi stood there until the car dropped deep, deep into the waters.

Satisfied, he went into the back of his truck and lifted up a shovel and started upturning the mud to get rid of the tire tracks along with his foot prints. Throwing the shovel in the bed, he climbed into his truck and drive back home.

By the time, he arrived back it was ten o’clock and you showed no signs of being awake. So Levi waited and waited, observing your resting form. He drank up how your chest gently rose and fell in tandem. You were so fragile and easy to break. If he so wished, he could crack open your chest and see what made you, well, you.

His finger traced down your chin to the middle of your throat and down to your sternum. He pressed down on the bone until a whine left your chest. Levi tilted his head at the sound, wanting to evoke more whimpers but he knew Erwin would be pissed if he bruised his little girl.

The day wasted away as Levi departed from the bedroom, and went to clean the house and get started on dinner. A tingle went down Levi’s spine, beckoning him to check on you. His instinct was right as he watched you struggle to take in the stimuli and hardly able to move.

When you registered Levi was also in the room, he didn’t expect you to freak out the way you did. Not to the extent of pissing yourself. A sick mix of desire and disgust filled him. He despised the mess flowing out from you, but Levi drank up how humiliation wafted off your form.

Erwin came in just in time. While the egregious man set off to wash you of your embarrassment, Levi went to work to scrub the carpet. Down the hall, he heard Erwin’s gruff voice bark out, but chose to ignore it. Erwin was a big boy and didn’t need Levi to come to the rescue. Plus, he wanted to test how long Erwin could tame his anger.

Once he was done, he made his way into the bathroom. He noticed the door was locked. Taking the key from his pocket, he unlocked the door and put the keys back. Levi caught how your eyes honed in on the set of keys. What a sneaky brat.

He also noticed Erwin’s swollen nose and your now avoidant gaze. Erwin tried to shy away but Levi quickly grabbed his face. It was rare for Erwin to be bested. You were surely going to be a problem if you are leaving this hulking, brilliant man a babbling fool.

Dinner went how he expected. You were reluctant to drop out of college. He couldn’t blame you as your disappearance would be a ticket to your freedom, but they had to be thorough. Your already poor attendance only worked in their favor.

Annoyance built up in Levi at Erwin’s slip up, but he decided it was time for you to go back to bed. You must be exhausted despite sleeping almost two full days away. He could tell you were borderlining on hysterics once more.

Picking you up, he carried you back to the bathroom with pure intentions. Though, you still squirmed for whatever reason. Placing you down, he prepared the toothbrush. You hadn’t brushed your teeth in two days and that itch crawled back under his skin.

As he commanded you to open your mouth, Levi thought nothing of your contemplating glare. Pain shot up from his hand and down his arm.

“Shit!”

You bit him. You actually fucking bit him.

If his rationale wasn’t screaming at him, he could have killed you in that moment. A festering anger boiled as he slapped you back in return. The smile on your face stayed on despite it.

Blood dripped down his arm as he dragged you back into the bedroom. Even though the comment you made was a snide one, you were right. He would have to go to the doctor to get the wound checked out. The bite was deep and the blood had not stopped.

With Erwin’s promise to handle you until he came back, Levi set off to go to the urgent care. Walking by the bathroom, he grabbed a clean hand towel and wrapped his hand within the cloth. Stomping his way out the house, he slammed the door closed and went into his truck.

You were such a little fucking shit. You were in for it once he got back and he wasn’t going to hold back. Fuck what Erwin said. The only way you were going to listen was through harsh punishment. Pain was the best motivator.

Grumbling the whole way, Levi drove swiftly to urgent care. He didn’t care to deal with the annoyance and even longer wait line at the ER. Clutching onto his still bleeding, throbbing hand, he walked through the glass door with some difficulty. You were dead fucking meat when he got back home.

“How can I help you today, Sir?” An eldery woman with a monotone voice behind the counter asked. The clacking of her acrylics against the rickety keyboard grated Levi’s ears.

He held up his hand, “I got bit by a dog.”

“Oh my!” The woman gasped. She reached over with a clipboard and handed it to Levi, “Try to fill this out as best as you can and a doctor should be right with you.”

Levi nodded his head and went over to the vacant chairs. Surprisingly there was only two other people within the waiting area. Grabbing the pen, he wrote with ease despite you injuring his dominant hand. After years of fending for his life he taught himself how to be ambidextrous.

Almost half an hour passed when Levi’s name was finally called. The bleeding finally stopped, but he was sure he would need stitches. The nurse that called him was a tall man with dirty blonde hair. He wasn’t anything significant in any way.

“It’s just right down here.”

He led Levi down the sterile, blaring white halls. The doorknob unlatched with a mechanical crunch. The nurse continued, “So what are you in for?”

Levi walked himself to the examination table and shuffled himself on top of it. “I got bit by a dog,” he repeated.

The nurse’s face grimaced at the thought of the pain, “Yikes, let me take a quick look and then I will grab Dr. Zoe.”

He held out his hand for the nurse to unwind the stained towel. Levi barely flinched when the rough material was tugged from the skin it latched onto. The nurse cradled his hand and tilted the wound towards him.

His face pulled into one of confusion before schooling it, “The dog got you real good, huh?”

“You can say that.”

Clearing his throat, he let go of Levi’s hand, “Well, I’m going to get the doctor now. Try to keep your hand elevated above your shoulder to help stop the bleeding and the swelling.”

With that, the nurse left the room and Levi to his own devices. Boredom quickly ate up at his mind. Little could be done in the room and he didn’t care for playing on his phone. A part itched to explore your phone, but he broke it earlier today on a whim to scare you further.

So he sat there counting the minutes go by until another thirty minutes dragged on. Finally a knock was heard on the door.

“Come in.”

The doctor poked their head in with a goofy grin. “Why, hello! I’m Dr. Zoe.”

Levi grunted in response. He despised pleasantries.

The smile didn’t fall once and kept on, “So I heard you got a nasty bite. Have you cleaned it or taken any medicine at all?”

“No.”

Dr. Zoe went up to Levi and directed his hand towards them. Peeling back the cloth like the nurse did, their face pinched at the wound. “Sir, are you sure this is a dog bite?”

Levi’s expression pulled back in irritation, “How the fuck would I not be sure? I was there when the fucker bit me.”

“Whoa there!” Dr. Zoe laughed, “No need to be so aggressive, gotta be thorough, you know?”

Levi didn’t respond and simply glared at them.

Coughing to fill the tension, they continued, “Well the wound isn’t deep enough to warrant stitches. We still need to clean it and give you antibiotics. If the wound doesn’t clear up or show signs of getting better in two weeks please come back. Also remember to finish the whole prescription to avoid complications.”

Levi nodded his headd and let the doctor dress the wound, reminding him to change the dressing frequently.

He was half paying attention, lost in his own mind of how to properly punish you while he waited for the bite to heal. For his own sake, the short man prayed you lasted longer than two weeks.

#yandere x reader #yandere levi #yandere levi x reader #yandere erwin #erwin x reader #levi x reader #yandere aot #aot smut #yandere male #yandere

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kurosstuff · 23 days

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bunny!lute x yourchoice!gn!reader ? maybe smut, preferably fluff please 🩷🩷

I'll do fluffy this time around ~♡♡ maybe smut if you request this or someone else does again

Ngl I'm a sucker for prey x predator asks♡♡

Short and sweet I hope

Warnings(s): fluff, mentions of being collared, prey x predator, courting gone wrong?(from different species) reader is literally a huge puppy- head over heels inlove with lute, Lute is MEAN. Violence at the begining some angst cause of bad choice words

Also sorry the ENDING LINE. is angsty- ♡

Bunny!lute x werewolf!reader: attempt at courting

Hunting for food is easy. Just get what would be enough to save to eat for the day if your lucky weeks- saving it in your little den- near your nest

But it's If your courting

The bigger the kill for your potential mate the better your seen as in some eyes. Gotta show you can be a suitable mate. Ensure the other will be fed well. Cared for perfectly. That's what you were doing. Hunting for her. Your tail wagged in the thought. Of how happy she'd be.

Snarling, you pounced on the unsuspecting deer chomping down on its neck hearing a sickening crunch- before a rustle sound was heard- your neck snapped, snarling biting harder on the deers neck seeing a white bunny pop out

Unmoving staring up at you, unafraid

There's only one bunny you knew that wouldn't run at the sight of you- a werewolf- the very one only YOU saw her bunny form of. Your tail began to wag the bloodied mangled deer in your mouth, shook as you growled.

Your soon to be mate! Lute-

Hopefully mate.

Rushing to her- uncaring at how bloodied you got, you dropped the deer in front of her proudly puffing yohr chest as you say her glance at it before a deep sigh escaped her turning back into her human..ish form.

"What the fuck is this"

You froze. Tail tucked nervously at how pissed she was. But.. why? Why would she be pissed? You gave her food. "Food- for uh.. for you?" Tilting your head in thought, hearing a thump- looking down her leg thumping. Shit. She's pissed pissed

"No. What the fuck is this. I'm a bunny. Remember?" She growled out, making you frown guilty. Right. You forgot again. Lute can't eat meat. Just like you can't Properly eat..whatever the fuck that one shit she eats was- uh carrots? You think?

Sighing, you knelt down, picking the deer up. "Sorry, Lute," you whispered as she mumbled something before she sighed

"I can't eat that. Give something else" she grumbled causing you to stop freezing tail wagging happily in what that meant.

She's accepting

Well- you hoped. Lute is a bit.. confusing with her words and actions. She'll say things or do things but she'll mean another thing.

Lute hums her ear twitched as she watched you grin at her. Tail thumping loudly, "Maybe I should collar you" she hummed gently reaching touching your neck in curiosity - "just claiming you as my pet, I suppose, huh?"

Her pet-

You sighed- there she goes again. Not thinking of you as a potential mate but rather her pet. From how eager you are to make her happy. How you follow her orders like an obedient dog. Which for her you supposed you would be a pet.

Not a mate-

That cause your tail to slowly coming to a stop- turning walking away, which follows the path back to your den- holding rhe deer close. You suppose if you grabbed those carrots for Lute, she'd be happy? Sighing, you glanced, expecting to see Lute watching as she always did. Watching you walk off away from her dens entrance. But this times different

Lutes following you

"Don't read too much into it, pup," she grumbled out flushed ear flickering. "I know how you get after hunting. You get sleepy. Wanting to take a nap, yeah?" She grumbled, watching the path turn leading to a cave "this your home? Where your nest is?" She hummed easily following you in.

Showing she truly blindly trusted you. Knowing she wasn't in any danger

Nodding, you grinned, placing the deer off in some corner- never was one to have a cabin after all. Not most monsters had such a human thing. Some felt comfort for it. But for you- anything but. Made you feel trapped.

"You know me too well~" Your tail thumped happily, turning to see her near your nest she hummed in thought, nodding. Moving close, wringing your hands together nervously cautious. "Do.. you wanna take a nap with me?"

Silence filled the cave as she thought to herself. Did she? Is that why she followed you to your nest today? Why she had such an urge? Why did she come with? Lute didn't have an answer she wasn't sure why she did. Wasn't sure why she even entertained you in the first place. Letting you a predator oh so close? Letting you the first to ever see her as a bunny.

Oh how she loathed being a bunny. She was strong. Strong enough to handle herself. To be a guard. She has the muscles the strength the stamina. Everything. But nothing compared to the true thing.

Nothing compared to a predator

Turning, she stared at you- in other predators' sights, she's on edge, never being to close. Never turning her back on them. But seeing how soft you looked at her. How could she not trust you?

On instinct- or maybe her truthful thinking? She nodded, grumbling loudly she willingly turned into her bunny form- the oh so soft grumpy ball of fur at your feet- making you coo as always a response from you fawning for her she thumped her foot in anger- what a grumpy bunny

Humming, you knelt down, picking her up, knowing only you had such permission. It's such an honor for a grumpy angery ball of furr now settled into a calm, almost happy thing. "Alright~" setting into your nest, moving her to your side- you grinned at her, resisting the urge to kiss her adorable face

Knowing why she turned into this form made you smile softly- she does this to avoid the talks of why she did it. To avoid the embarrassment. Imaging your surpise when she moved to cuddle into your neck, curling up ears, laid back as she settled to sleep- smiling you allowed her to nuzzle into your neck softly.

"Good night lute" a soft squeak answered back.

Tomorrow was a new day. A new attempt at courting her- this time. You'll do it right. Find our how bunny's court. Maybe that was the issue. Maybe that's what you needed to be.

Oh, how you wished to be a bunny too. Maybe then. She'd want you like you want her.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin lute #lute x reader #hazbin hotel lute #MONSTER AU

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stromuprisahat · 15 days

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Alina fails to establish herself as a leader worth following

Siege and Storm- Chapter 13

Why would he? You're just some nobody deserter, who waltzed in as if she owned the place. Last they saw you, you were about to enter and destroy the Fold, then their leader's gone and hunted, more of their people murdered or forced to flee and they're kept hostage in their own home.

Alina headed from Grand Palace directly to Little Palace. Remaining Second Army Grisha are good as prisoners. How would they know they're supposed to kiss her ass now?!

I'm sorry, but did Alina forget to mention different tone of Sergei's question? Because this here reads like mere inquiry of a person trying to get a grasp on situation they're all in.

But of course, Alina's expecting a conflict, so that's what she'll get one way or another.

Touché!

Why is a teen boy with unfinished officer training the most reasonable person in the room? Sure, he counts as an adult, but there are older people with less sense. And apparently he anticipated Alina's new position. If that doesn't spell promissing higher-ranking soldier, I don't know what would.

That's a perfectly good question, Alina.

Either she's forgetting to mention his tone again, or she's hellbent on seeing Sergei as some annoying pest, who deserves to be disregarded.

Sergei has a point once again. I'm beginning to see why he trained for a higher position.

Alina cannot stand being challenged (Now, that it's finally happening.). Instead of soothing their well-funded fears, she's getting angry. And something tells me she's not a person with a firm grip on her emotions...

Again, Alina's pretty focused on viewing Sergei unfavourably.

... and Alina confirms she's completely unfit for the position, if her reaction to challenge is immediately aggression.

She should've answered Sergei's initial questions, soothe his worries, address his pretty fair points- that's what a leader does. It shouldn't come to shouting, AND she should've kept her barking dogs on a leash. THEY'RE HER GUARDS, NOT SPOKESPEOPLE! If she cannot control three guards and possible deserter, how can she expect obedience of a large group of justifiably scared and confused people?!

Words, words, words.

A girl, who just almost killed the lot of them claims their life-long protector's evil, and only SHE can attest to it. Of course they'll follow her now. You don't argue with a psychopath. You don't try to convict a violent madman of their delusion. Certainly not when they're holding a knife.

(For someone, who insists the Darkling ruled through fear, she sure makes a show of avoiding "his" methods.)

What about starting with "The Darkling used the Fold to destroy Novokribirsk."? Power means nothing, if used incompetently.

... or I will have you in chains. Honest at last!

I am a soldier. Since when?! LOL

And how does that have anything to do with the obedience she requires from them?!

Chance makes it sound as if Alina were their saviour. Sure, she believes it, but considering her demonstration a moment ago and the rest of her speech, "option" would be more fitting.

It's understandable Alina's emotional! She almost ~murdered~ someone!

Yeah, but if she wants to lead, she'll have to learn to FACE her fuck ups, not run blindly from them, leaving others to fend for themselves and deal with the consequences...

... and that's almost untrained Alina with two amplifiers and a few dozens disobedient minions.

Now make it three and a whole country. I'm sure she'd make much better ruler than the Darkling could ever hope to become. Kind and peaceful...

On the other hand, it would be amusing to watch from safe distance.

#Grishaverse #S&S Chapter 13 #Alina Starkov #Sergei Beznikov #grishanalyticritical #self centred and paranoid #Second Army #Siege and Storm #Grisha trilogy #V #books #quotes #Leigh Bardugo

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mariana-oconnor · 5 months

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The Illustrious Client pt 3

Had a busy weekend, so I'm one behind again, but where were we?

A hypnotised woman, a man so evil he wants everyone to know about it and he keeps a special scrapbook of his favourite evil moments for him to read in bed at night when he can't sleep. My favourite character is probably not going to be in it again, seeing as she failed to convince the guy's latest victim that he's a murdering arsehole, but I really hope she gets to stamp his face in with her boot. Y'know. As a treat.

Oh, and then someone tried to kill Holmes. There was a cliffhanger. I almost forgot about that.

The Illustrious Client on whose behalf Sherlock Holmes was consulted was anxious to prevent the marriage of the young, rich and beautiful Miss Violet de Merville to Baron Gruner, an unscrupulous adventurer.

Given some of the descriptions Watson has given of perfectly nice clients, I feel like 'unscrupulous adventurer' is such a milquetoast way of putting this. And also rather offensive to adventurers.

“I'm a bit of a single-stick expert, as you know. I took most of them on my guard. It was the second man that was too much for me.”

See, this is why I don't get why everyone insists on Watson being the action man of the pair. Holmes is out there whacking people with sticks. Watson occasionally shoots a dog.

No, I'm never going to be over that.

"They'll come to you for news. Put it on thick, Watson. Lucky if I live the week out—concussion—delirium—what you like! You can't overdo it.”

This is a definite step up from The Dying Detective where Holmes was convinced that if Watson knew he wasn't dying, he'd never be able to convince anyone of it. Has Watson's acting got better or has Holmes just realised that pretending to be dying is a dick move? Something tells me it isn't the first option. I don't think it's the second, either, if I'm honest. I feel like Holmes needs Watson to do something. But still, not lying to your best friend about dying. So proud of you.

“Yes. Tell Shinwell Johnson to get that girl out of the way. Those beauties will be after her now."

If anything bad happens to Kitty, I riot.

He pushed to an extreme the axiom that the only safe plotter was he who plotted alone.

Even so, he's still doing way better than he used to. We're all very proud of him.

It was simply that among the passengers on the Cunard boat Ruritania, starting from Liverpool on Friday, was the Baron Adelbert Gruner, who had some important financial business to settle in the States before his impending wedding to Miss Violet de Merville...

Apparently it was almost a week to get to the States on a liner in those days, which is less time than I thought, but also quite a while to spend travelling (2 weeks, there and back) right before your wedding. The wedding is not that imminent, I guess.

"Now, Watson, I want you to do something for me.” “I am here to be used, Holmes.”

“Well, then, spend the next twenty-four hours in an intensive study of Chinese pottery.” He gave no explanations and I asked for none. By long experience I had learned the wisdom of obedience.

On the one hand, this also shows growth, on the other, blindly following Holmes' instructions seems like a terrible idea in so. many. ways. But y'know, whatever floats their boats. Ours not to kink shame.

I was sucking in knowledge and committing names to memory. There I learned of the hall-marks of the great artist-decorators, of the mystery of cyclical dates, the marks of the Hung-wu and the beauties of the Yung-lo, the writings of Tang-ying, and the glories of the primitive period of the Sung and the Yuan.

“It needs careful handling, Watson. This is the real egg-shell pottery of the Ming dynasty. No finer piece ever passed through Christie's. A complete set of this would be worth a king's ransom..."

Will the priceless historic china survive? That's the real question.

"You may as well be a medical man, since that is a part which you can play without duplicity. You are a collector, this set has come your way, you have heard of the Baron's interest in the subject, and you are not averse to selling at a price.”

OK. okayokayokayokayokay. No.

If this guy knows who Holmes is. Then he should, therefore, know who Watson is, too. We have even had, in this very story, evidence that supports that because the colonel (whose name I can't remember right now) was like 'yes, of course Dr Watson should be involved toodle pip." (I added the toodle pip part, but the rest was accurate enough.)

So surely the guy who arranged for Holmes to be murdered - who is apparently tracking down Kitty to murder her, too - surely he should know who Watson is. Therefore either this is a double bluff and Holmes is knowingly sending Watson into a danger that has already tried to claim his own life or he doesn't think that his opponent is smart enough to connect his enemy to their best friend who writes about them frequently and who has been visiting him daily since the attack.

If he turns out to be right and the baron doesn't recognise Watson immediately, I will be further annoyed at his incompetence.

On the same evening, with the precious saucer in my hand and the card of Dr. Hill Barton in my pocket, I set off on my own adventure.

Oh really? Like... an adventurer, would you say?

The place had been built by a South African gold king in the days of the great boom, and the long, low house with the turrets at the corners, though an architectural nightmare, was imposing in its size and solidity.

Glad to see Watson turning his scathing judgements to architecture as well as people. It was... it was a very solid building. It had that going for it.

He was certainly a remarkably handsome man. His European reputation for beauty was fully deserved. In figure he was not more than of middle size, but was built upon graceful and active lines. His face was swarthy, almost Oriental, with large, dark, languorous eyes which might easily hold an irresistible fascination for women. His hair and moustache were raven black, the latter short, pointed, and carefully waxed. His features were regular and pleasing, save only his straight, thin-lipped mouth. If ever I saw a murderer's mouth it was there—a cruel, hard gash in the face, compressed, inexorable, and terrible. He was ill-advised to train his moustache away from it, for it was Nature's danger-signal, set as a warning to his victims.

Oh my god. Watson. Watson. Quite being so horny on main. I am begging you. Stop ogling the man. And he can't help the way his moustache is away from his mouth - it's all the twirling.

"I would ask you what do you know of the Emperor Shomu and how do you associate him with the Shoso-in near Nara? Dear me, does that puzzle you? Tell me a little about the Northern Wei dynasty and its place in the history of ceramics.” I sprang from my chair in simulated anger.

Watson. Watson. My dude. My man. My good sir. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK was the point of you learning everything there is to know about Chinese pottery if you're not even going to bother to answer his motherfucking questions? What even is this? What was the point? WHY?

I mean, I'm pretty sure he knew who you were from the moment you sent the letter but even so. Even so! I can't get annoyed about him not committing to the bit when you're out here not even trying to commit to any of it.

Two steps took me to the open door, and my mind will ever carry a clear picture of the scene within. The window leading out to the garden was wide open. Beside it, looking like some terrible ghost, his head girt with bloody bandages, his face drawn and white, stood Sherlock Holmes.

Well, I was right. It was a double bluff. Watson was the distraction, cool cool. He was rubbish at it, but at least Holmes knew he was going to fail.

An arm—a woman's arm—shot out from among the leaves. At the same instant the Baron uttered a horrible cry—a yell which will always ring in my memory. He clapped his two hands to his face and rushed round the room, beating his head horribly against the walls. Then he fell upon the carpet, rolling and writhing, while scream after scream resounded through the house.

The features which I had admired a few minutes before were now like some beautiful painting over which the artist has passed a wet and foul sponge.

So that's why you went on about how hot he was. For the contrast. Gotcha.

Obviously this is terrible and throwing acid in people's faces is awful and horrible etc.

On the other hand, I support Kitty Winter and she's never done anything wrong ever in her life.

"It was that hell-cat, Kitty Winter!”

“It is his love diary?”

You say that like it's a normal thing.

???

"I knew I had only a few minutes in which to act, for my time was limited by your knowledge of Chinese pottery."

Holmes' perennial lack of faith in Watson's abilities is as sad as it is earned.

But he didn't even use his knowledge of Chinese pottery. He didn't even try.

“But if these injuries are as terrible as Dr. Watson describes, then surely our purpose of thwarting the marriage is sufficiently gained without the use of this horrible book.”

Wow, you think very little of Violet. I also think very little of her, but honestly, I'm pretty sure this isn't a deal breaker for her. Just say you think she's shallow and fickle, why don't you?

The same paper had the first police-court hearing of the proceedings against Miss Kitty Winter on the grave charge of vitriol-throwing. Such extenuating circumstances came out in the trial that the sentence, as will be remembered, was the lowest that was possible for such an offence.

Good for her.

...when an object is good and a client is sufficiently illustrious, even the rigid British law becomes human and elastic.

YAY! CORRUPTION!!

🥳🥳🥳

What a weird note to end it on. But the day was saved, I guess. Weirdly as it was. Violet de Merville presumably went on to continue to be a supercilious nightmare of a woman and Baron Adelbert Gruner was punished with *checks notes* disfigurement and blindness... so I guess that's a happy ending?

idek.

I'm glad Kitty got to fuck him up, though. That was very satisfying.

#Letters from Watson #The Illustrious Client #Sherlock Holmes #long post

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oraclekleo · 1 year

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Kim Nam Joon (BTS) - Kinky* Tarot Reading

Disclaimer:

All readings have purely entertainment nature

I don’t know any of the celebrities personally

Don’t base life decisions purely on tarot readings

I can never guarantee any of what’s said in the reading

Before requesting, read the pinned post and appropriate linked post

Tarot readings are my hobby - I’m not obligated to accept any of the requests nor to complete them, it’s my choice, not duty

Waiting time is long, even several months

If you can’t wait, please, seek other tarot reader

Reading Info:

Rating: 18+

Reading Type: Single - Couple

Requested: Yes - No

Requester: /

Deck: E. A. Poe

Spread: Kinky* Reading

Questions:

Position

Libido

Turn On

Kink

Dirtiest Secret*

Celebrity Info:

Full Name: Kim Nam Joon

Stage Name: RM

Group: BTS

DOB: 12.09.1994

Sun Sign: Virgo

Chinese Sign: Wood Dog

Life Path Number: 8

Masterpost: BTS

Ko-fi - Voluntary Tip for Readings

Kim Nam Joon

RM (BTS)

Deck: E. A. Poe

Spread: Kinky* Reading

Position - 9 of Wands

I would expect Namjoon to be the dom but it actually looks like he might prefer to be a bratty sub in a relationship. He’s not likely to obediently follow orders from his partner but he might like to be the one with fewer responsibilities in the relationship (he enjoys plenty of them at work, probably doesn’t need extra load in private). He’s likely to act up and tease a lot, literally asking for some punishment.

Libido - XVIII The Moon

Namjoon can become a possessive and obsessive lover. Sometimes he might find his partner so vital for him, it’s like he couldn’t breathe without them. When they are happy, he’s happy, when they struggle he struggles with them. He reflects their emotions just like the moon reflects the sun’s light. Namjoon probably can’t get any satisfaction unless his lover reaches there first.

Turn On - King of Pentacles

Namjoon is likely to feel attracted to someone well-respected and with a certain life experience. They can be either older than him or they are simply giving the mature impression. They are likely to be a dominant kind of person with authority and with their life sorted and on track. Namjoon probably doesn’t need more drama in his life and so he’s likely to fall in love with a person who prefers sensible approach to life and is knowledgeable and stable.

Kink - Page of Pentacles

I mentioned it before, that Namjoon can become a bit bratty and the mature partner clue also speaks in this direction. Namjoon is likely to truly love to learn and explore but he might not want to go into things blindly, he might prefer guidance from someone who has experience with specific techniques, positions and practices. He’s pretty much up for anything, as long he can rely on his lover to know the path they are stepping onto together.

Dirtiest Secret* - 8 of Pentacles

Namjoon is such a diligent whole-life student. He’s likely pursuing mastery in any kind of activity he chooses. And it applies to his relationships as well. Namjoon is likely to wish for a relationship which allows him to constantly learn and advance. He dreams to become the truly perfect boyfriend, lover, husband, father - whichever role he might decide to take. Failure isn’t an option for him.

Thank you for reading!

Hit the Like 💖

Comment! 💬

Reblog! 🔁

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mama-qwerty · 1 year

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The Bite

Another bit of writing for my Shadow story. This time Maria's trying to wrangle Shadow to get him to the lab for his various tests and procedures, but he's having none of it.

~~~~~

“Shadow, you have to do your tests,” Maria said, hands on hips. The hedgehog crossed his arms, shooting her a scowl that would have curdled milk. “Pouting isn’t going to get you out of them, they need done, or I’ll get in trouble.”

“No,” he growled, turning away. “I don’t want to do them anymore. I hate doing them.”

“I know you don’t like it but you just have to.” Her jaw ached from how hard she clamped her teeth together. He was about eight or so in human years, and turning quite contrary. “Just get ‘em done and we’ll do something fun after.”

“NO!” He turned, his scowl morphing into a snarl. “I hate them! They hurt!”

“I know they do. And I’m sorry they hurt. But the scientists just want to help you grow some more.”

“Can’t I just grow like a regular kid? Why do I have to get all those shots and have so much pain?”

Maria rubbed the bridge of her nose with a thumb and finger. “Shadow, we’ve been over this a hundred times.” She looked back at him. “You’re special. The tests the scientists are running could help lots of people in the world. Sick people. You want to help others, don’t you?”

“Don’t I get a say?” he asked, hands curled into fists. “Why is it okay for me to be hurt just because it could help others? They don’t even know if it can.”

“Shadow—”

“NO, Ria!” he shouted, jabbing a finger toward her. “If you loved me you wouldn’t make me do this.”

She bristled at that. “Don’t you pull that on me,” she growled, teeth gritted. “Yes, I love you, but you and I both know this is just the way things are. We can’t change it, so the best we can do is just get it over with as quickly as possible so we can go on with our lives.”

His snarl returned, becoming more pronounced. “Easy for you to say. You’re not the one being poked. You’re not the one who has to deal with the growing pains. You just get to sit there and pat my head, saying ‘it’s gonna be okay’. It’s NOT. It hurts like hell, and you don’t do anything to help me.”

The leash on her temper snapped. “What am I supposed to do?” she cried, and he flinched slightly. “Seriously Shadow, what the hell am I supposed to do? I’m nobody. I’m the lowest on the totem pole here, which the general loves to remind me of at any opportunity. I have NO say in anything. I’m just supposed to do my job, which is to keep you in line. And you’ve been making that very difficult lately. So what exactly am I supposed to do to help you?”

He scowled again. “I’m so sorry I’m not blindly following you like an obedient little puppy anymore,” he snapped, lips curling up to show fang. “Maybe that just means you’re bad at your job.”

He spat the word out like a curse. Maria returned his scowl with one of her own. “I didn’t mean it like that, and don’t you bare your fang at me.”

Uttering a small growl, Shadow pulled his lip higher to show both fangs. His quills bristled. “Why? Is the dog not following orders? Maybe you need a new job.”

“Knock it off, Shadow.”

He gave her a snide grin. “Am I scaring you?”

“No, you’re pissing me off,” she said, grabbing his arm. “Stop being a brat and let’s just get this over with.”

“No!” He pulled his arm, but she had it in a solid grip. “Let go!”

She started dragging him toward the door. “C’mon, we’re already late.”

“I’m not going!”

The next thing Maria became aware of was a sharp, shooting pain in her right arm, the one holding onto him. She whipped her head around and found him clamped onto her, his teeth sunk deep into the skin. His eyes were tightly closed, his muzzle pulled into snarl.

It was suddenly very quiet in the room, save for their respective breathing. His was agitated, heavy. Hers was quick and shallow.

“Shadow,” she said, and there was a quiver in her voice she hadn’t intended. Her arm actually hurt quite a lot.

His eyes opened, and widened in shock as the reality of what he’d done hit him. He released her and stood back, blood smeared on his lips. He licked them and fear passed over his face. “Oh,” he said, pulling his hands to his mouth, his voice high and scared. “Oh, Ria, I’m sorry . . . I didn’t . . .”

Maria took a step back, cradling her hurt, bleeding arm. There were four perfect puncture holes from his fangs, and blood oozed out of each wound as she watched. Her entire forearm throbbed.

She looked at him. He looked at her. Without a word, she walked out, heading for the infirmary and slowly soaking her shirt in blood.

X~X~X

Maria poked at the breakfast offerings on her tray. Scrambled eggs, toast, a muffin, and bacon. Not the most tasty or filling in the best if times, but this morning they were especially lackluster.

Her arm still throbbed beneath the white bandage. She’d managed to get to the infirmary without any of the general’s loyalists seeing, and thankfully found Prof G there. He patched her up, and swore not to tell anyone how she had become injured. Opinions on Shadow were split among the personnel of the ARK, with some thinking he’s a waste of money and time, and others holding an opinion closer to hers and Prof G’s. If the general had discovered that this ‘waste of time’ had attacked her, it would be just what he needed to shut down the project.

And by ‘shut down’, that meant termination. He never liked Shadow, and would have liked nothing more than to get rid of him. Permanently.

Prof G said he would talk to the scientists regarding the testing Shadow was supposed to undergo, telling them he had decided to reschedule, but forgot to log it. He was the head scientist, so Maria felt confident he could get it all handled without raising too many eyebrows.

By the time she returned to her room, Shadow was gone. She don’t know where he had gone, but wasn’t too worried. It’s not like he could leave the facility.

They both needed some alone time.

Maria stabbed at a clump of eggs and pulled them to her mouth. They were cold, and she swallowed them without chewing. She wasn’t really hungry, but didn’t know where else to go. It was barely 9:30am, and the cafeteria was mostly deserted. A good place to think.

And one thought twirled through her head, over and over, back and again.

He bit her.

Shadow, the boy she’d raised from a baby for the past two years, bit her. Really clamped down, too. She supposed his fight-or-flight was flaring and that’s what caused it. He was pretty upset.

But still. A nagging thought poked at the back of her mind.

Did that mean he was more animal than she thought?

She’d been with him for so long, she sometimes didn’t even think about what he was. He had quills. Fangs. Claws. A tail. Fur. He was technically an animal. A humanoid animal, sure. But an animal just the same. As he grew older, would his less human instincts become more prevalent? Would he become a bigger danger to others? To her?

She furrowed her brow, poking at the limp bacon slices. That didn’t feel possible, but then again, she never thought he would bite her, either. Of course, lots of human kids bite, too. So this may be less of an animal thing and more of a kid thing. And he did seem genuinely upset at what he’d done.

Sighing, Maria dropped her fork and pushed the tray away. She rested her elbows on the table and pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. What a mess.

X~X~X

Shadow watched hidden in the doorway as Ria moved to a table with her tray. She sat, poking at her food. The white bandage on her arm glared at him. Accusing him.

That’s my fault, he thought, shrinking into the shadows further. I hurt her. I bit her. She was just trying to keep to her responsibilities, and I hurt her.

He flattened himself against the wall, chewing the inside of his cheek. What did he do now? Ria was his closest friend—only friend, if he was being truly honest with himself. And he hurt her.

All because of those tests. Those painful, uncomfortable, scary tests.

It wasn’t even the pain that was the problem. Yes, it was bad. Yes, it make him cry and hate everyone. But it eventually faded, and, again, if he were honest with himself, Ria being near did help. She would sing to him, and read to him, and tell him stories to distract him from the stretching feelings in his bones, the tightness in his muscles and skin. So he could actually deal with that.

The main problem was how he felt, mentally, afterward. The general would sometimes be in the lab when he had the tests and ‘treatments’ done, and something about that man scared Shadow. Made him incredibly uneasy. Like the man had a secret, and somehow Shadow was involved.

And the dreams would get worse after each treatment. The nightmares. Violence, and pain, and killing. Like ideas, or thoughts being put into his head. Some were so vivid they did seem like memories. It was unnerving.

He didn’t dare tell Ria any of this. She didn’t like the general, and based on how Shadow saw the military man interact with her, the feeling was mutual. If she knew the general may have been doing something . . . more to Shadow during these treatments, she would likely try to confront the man. Which may end badly for her. Whether that meant she would simply be kicked out of the project, or . . .

Shadow closed his eyes and gave his head a shake. He didn’t like thinking about the ‘or’.

General Tower was a scary man, who always carried a pistol on his hip. Shadow had seen him stroke the grip almost affectionately when dealing with those he considered beneath him, or useless. Ria being one of those people.

It wasn’t hard to imagine what the general was thinking in those moments.

A sigh floated to his ears then, and he turned. Ria had pushed away her try, and now sat with her head in her hands. Shadow’s heart twisted.

Putting off the inevitable wouldn’t make it any easier.

He walked into the cafeteria.

X~X~X

Maria sat at the table, pressing her hands against her eyes so hard she saw stars flashing behind the lids. She massaged her forehead with her fingertips.

Movement to her right. She pulled back and glanced that way to find Shadow sitting backward on the bench next to her. He held his arms tightly to his sides, palms flat against the bench beneath him. He stared at the ground, brow furrowed.

She turned back to the front, lacing her fingers together and resting her cheek against them. They sat in silence for a minute, before he spoke. His voice was soft.

“Does it hurt?”

She glanced at the bandage on her arm. “Yeah. A little.”

He flinched slightly. “Are . . . are you mad?”

She thought about that. Was she? There were a lot of emotions and thoughts running through her head since that moment in their room—was that really just twenty minutes ago?--but she don’t think being angry ever occurred to her.

“No.”

He didn’t so much as sigh next to her as let out a long breath he’d been holding.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “I don’t know why I . . . I didn’t mean to . . .” He closed his eyes tightly, before turning to her. He looked at her, his eyes shiny. “I’m sorry, Ria. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Her knee-jerk reaction was to crack a joke. ‘Hope you’re not venomous.’ ‘You’ve had your rabies shot, right?’ ‘Does this mean I’ll turn into a werehog now?’ Ha. Ha.

But Maria turned to him, and the look on his face gave her pause. She looked at him, really looked at him, and the weight of his situation—their situation—hit her.

He was a humanoid animal, yes. Created in a lab as the ultimate lifeform, yes. Lots of hopes and dreams rested on his shoulders, yes.

But he was also a kid. A scared kid, who was having horrible things done to him on a regular basis in the name of the ‘greater good’. He was in pain a good deal of the time, trapped in a military facility, and regarded as a ‘thing’ by a good portion of the populace within that facility. As normal a life as she was trying to give him, he was still missing out on so much living. So much world.

His large red eyes locked with her blue, and a thought hit like a lightning bolt.

She was his world.

She was the person who had sat with him since he was a tiny baby, brushed away every tear, kissed every boo-boo. She sat up with him when he had nightmares, and cuddled him when he was scared. And yes, she sat with him after every one of these treatments, as he cried and moaned in pain while his body stretched and grew practically before her eyes.

She was his center. His rock. He looked to her for guidance, and security, and . . . well, love. He was getting older, and becoming more contrary and surly sometimes, but that need for affection was still there.

And now, he was terrified he’d ruined that. That lashing out in anger and fear had thrown all that away.

Maria gave him a smile, kind and gentle. His brows raised slightly.

“I know you’re sorry,” she said, her voice soft. She ran a hand down his quills. “You were scared. And I was acting like a bit of a jerk. I’m sorry about that.” His posture relaxed, and he swiveled on the bench to face her better. “I’m not mad, Fuzzbutt. I never was. Surprised, sure. Shocked, even. But mad?” She shook her head. “Never.”

He opened his mouth to say something when a few other people wandered into the cafeteria. He flicked his eyes at them, closing his mouth and pulling his lips tight. Maria nodded.

“Let’s head back.”

He nodded, brows furrowing. That seemed to be the default position for his face, lately.

~~~

Like this? Check out my other snippets. Reblogs are appreciated!

#writing snippet #my writing #shadow the hedgehog #maria robotnik #sonic fanfiction #sonic the hedgehog fanfiction

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dragonnan · 6 months

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Okay so…. I was having some theological ponderings (as I tend to do) and feel like I suddenly unlocked a giant open secret?? Like something glaringly obvious but because of the cult-like teaching I grew up with it just never occurred??

And PLEASE skip this post if discussions of the Bible and Christianity are stressful or triggering, trust me I very much understand and don't want anyone to feel anxiety from this.

It has to do with basically the entire scope of faith. Now, fair warning it has been a LONG time since I've read the Bible and I've never done the cover to cover thing. Growing up with church it is pretty typical to take the word of church leaders as, well, Gospel.

Now, I know for me, and many others, there is the God we are taught about most - the loving God, merciful, forgiving, etc. The one who says "love your neighbor as you love yourself" "the greatest of these is love" etc. And that's what we are meant to hang our entire belief system on.

BUT

We also tend to brush aside the very glaring OTHER aspect of God. The one that demands Abraham sacrifice his son to show his faith - the one who sent a flood - the one who said that to destroy an enemy you not only kill the leaders but the children as well.

I have NEVER been able to make sense of THAT God. And when discussed in church, pastors will always saw a variation of "we cannot know the mind of God".

BUT HERE'S THE THIIIIIIIING

Our faith HINGES on knowing the mind of God??? We talk constantly about how he's a personal God - a one on one kinda dude. But yet when it comes to all the horrid shit we're just supposed to jive with it???

HELL NAW!!

See and that's where I suddenly had a thought.

We already know God has a weird thing about testing people. The above Abraham and Issac story being one of those favorites that pastors loooove to pimp out as the perfect example of faith and obedience. Sure sure sure.

Sorry but that is fucked up.

See, God gave us free will.

God told us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.

God said the greatest thing is love.

SO WHY THE FUCK WOULD AN EXAMPLE OF FAITH BE TO KILL WHAT WE LOVE???

It is the polar opposite of what we are told God is all about!

So my sudden revelation?

God wants us to tell him NO!

Because he gave us free will

Because he told us love is the greatest of all things

Because we are meant to value other people as much as we value ourselves

I feel like Abraham was supposed to stand up to God. To tell God "FUCK naw I'm not killing my son! Because a God who would demand the murder of my beloved child is not a God I want to serve!" But Abraham didn't do that. In fact he was so ready to carry out this act that God had to send an angel to stop him.

Now, obviously, this is my own take on Scripture and I get there are people who would completely disagree. But if I'm believing God is all about freedom and love then I cannot accept that God wants us to blindly follow like zombies.

Because blind belief leads to massacres - as has been shown throughout history. Blind faith means people will call on the name of God as the reason for their atrocities. Blind faith is a cult. Full Stop.

The reason for this revelation, truly, is quite simple.

Why would I, a being created by God in his image (according to the Bible) have a vastly superior moral compass compared to him??? It makes no sense! Because truly I wouldn't so much as harm my DOG if God commanded it much less a child???

So yeah, TLDR: God created us to question him - not blindly obey

#christian faith #questioning belief

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aegisheart · 2 years

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✧ ; Dedue & Felix.

this goes through some sort of analysis of their supports while also EXPLAINING the behaviour BEHIND felix . i HATE that i have to preface & add that i do NOT condone this behaviour , nor do i SUPPORT it . i am merely trying to TRANSLATE & explain the thought process . this is taken from an external viewpoint while also understanding the PSYCHOLOGY behind it . this is also coming from a STUDY in psych & some educational research in mental health disorders . take that as you will , im not here to argue , shame , or DOWNPLAY behavioural & communication problems / issues . i am just explaining .

i also want to reiterate that this is also MY interpretation & educated opinion on the matter . the way i write felix is mostly based off of my own headcanons & how i actually see felix . the way he act in the game is NOT necessarily EXACTLY how my felix is , & i hope that this explanation of these supports help show individuals how i have coded him .

also , the supports i am looking at are coming mostly from the JAPANESE game data . i am in no way , shape , or form , an expert in japanese . i have been struggling to TRANSLATE the data . so if i am WRONG , i do apologise . i am trying my best .

let’s take a look at their C support first .

you can find the full japanese support HERE .

⪢ also , i will at some point , explain in full depth & detail WHY felix call’s dimitri ‘ boar ’ but there is an entire explanation for that elsewhere . made by several other people . i will not explain that in this specific post . i have , however , posted THIS for you to help explain a little as to why DIMITRI gets called a boar .

let’s go over a few points here .

⪢ calling dedue inu , or DOG .

i have discussed this before , but MY felix gives nicknames to other people given their personality , skills , temperament , etc . sylvain is the fox ; mercie is lamb ; annette is songbird . ANIMALS in themselves are meant to be REPRESNTATIVE of themes & tropes . you can SEE this being done obviously with dimitri , but it BLEEDS into his support conversations with dedue as well . for who can be more LOYAL than a dog ? yes ?

felix is calling dedue a DOG because of dedue’s great & immense LOYALTY to dimitri . felix is RECOGNISING this in dedue . it is enough to have felix GIVE dedue that nickname . he’s not at all referring to dedue as anything else other than a loyal dog .

( something that i honestly see in felix myself too , though felix is more like a WOLF in that he is more FERAL & more prone to be aggressive & cut others out . i.e. LONE wolf but he is still considered a pack animal & does well fighting for others as a means to PROTECT )

going FURTHER in their C support , you find that FELIX is asking what dedue would do if he were to be ASKED to kill those who could possibly be INNOCENT . he is actually GENUINEY questioning & actively challenging dedue’s unwavering LOYALTY . he finds out that dedue would , in fact , kill SENSELESSLY - for absolutely NO reason - if it was dimitri’s command .

this has nothing to do with IF dimitri would actually do that . it’s simply another way to see - another way to ASK - if dedue would CHALLANGE dimitri . and , naturally , dedue basically says ‘ if he commands / wills it ‘ .

THIS ALONE is what makes felix angry . and , in the JAPANESE script , felix calls dedue a MAD DOG . that he was wrong to just call him a dog , he is more aggressive than that . obvsiously dedue doesn’t like the names - and naturally , NOBODY should tolerate that . & with felix being felix , he simply just tells him to run off to dimitri - to his master . since the motif of the dog is to be LOYAL to whomever they serve .

the bigger picture is that felix is DIGUSTED by the blind faith , the BLIND obedience of dedue . it’s not the loyalty he’s bothered by . its the BLINDNESS . it’s already been discussed and seen that felix has issues with those who will BLINDLY follow others . & , again , going back to dimitri , felix is horrified that people are acting FINE around dimitri , despite felix WITNESSING a side of dimitri that he doesn’t understand . he thinks the dimitri he KNEW is dead . so to hear that somebody is ENABLING dimitri and WOULD ENABLE dimitri’s BAD side will , again naturally , DISGUST felix .

⪢ mention of duscur

there is ONE line that felix says that brings up what happened to duscur . & again , in the JAPANESE version , it ROUGHLY translates to :

❛ ..... sanctions on duscur . ❜

at first glance , the first definition of sanctions is ‘ punishment ’ . but that’s NOT what felix is saying here . at the very least , that is not why i believe felix is saying that . rather , it goes back to the ORDERED commands - the official permission / approval to do something . as in . there was an OFFICIAL order , supported by a majority of the public , to attack the people of duscur . & WITHOUT question , it was done .

however , if we are looking at the fact that FELIX is DISGUSTED & HATES blind faith / loyalty / obedience ( since he made a COMMENT about it in the very same support with dedue ) he NEVER admits or says that he SUPPORTED those sanctions . he was simply STATING the obvious . he was STATING the FACTS .

quite literally , there were SANCTIONS put on duscur . that is a straight up fact , felix is simply musing and saying that fact . it isn’t an opinion here . he’s saying it as a point & to say that he understands what happened . he doesn’t suggest or say anything as to WHY it happened . just that he acknowledges that it DID happen . especially since dedue is describing to him what had happened . felix is simply curt about it & summarises what happened in ONE word .

i , of course , am unsure what is the thought process was behind the writers , but from my own understanding of FELIX , i genuinely do not THINK that he supported the sanctions . ESPECIALLY since sylvain is proven & seen to be on of the FEW that ACTIVELY questions why there had been a command ( meaning that sylvain DID NOT support the actions against the people of duscur ) & says that there shouldn’t have been .

felix is NOT sylvain in that matter . & i have said that while felix is AWARE of the wrongs and the problems , he also doesnt know HOW to solve or fix them . its like he KNOWS theres a problem , but he doesn’t know how to directly SPOT it & call it out . it goes back to the idea that he KNOWS something is wrong with dimitri , but he doesn’t know WHAT . & he doesn’t have the resources or knowledge to understand or figure it out .

anyway , i am rambling off now , but lets get into the B support .

Felix’s & Dedue’s B support

my headache is coming back again , sadly , so i have to really make this short & try to wrap it up but here is what i got . the B support is a LOT more mild in terms of hostility especially in the english version . but .... yea

⪢ he still calls dedue ‘ rabid dog ‘ & ‘ mindless weapon ‘

this is because he still thinks that dedue has that blind loyalty . it is also bringing back what had been discussed in their last support . i.e. dude would faithfully follow dimitri even if he were commanded to kill innocents - which is why , again , felix calls him that .

that said , dedue brings up glenn , felix’s dead brother . which is an EXTREMELY touchy subject for felix . which is why felix looks lik he’s going to bite back at dedue when he questions it and says basically ‘ don’t tell me how he died a glorious death ‘ . because , for felix , he HATES that idealogy . ( again , i will discuss that later , but essentially , felix does NOT like the idea of knighthood cause thre is NO glory to death .

he follows the ideology of ‘ i dont want to be remembered when i die , i want to be celebrated while im alive . ‘ because there is no real fulfillment if you are dead . whihc is WHY felix gets defensive when dedue brings glenn up . which is why dedue was like ‘ well i would do the same , had i been in the same position ‘ . & asks if its bad to - in the english version - ‘ protect a brother in arms ‘ . in the japanese version , it is roughly translated to ‘ comrades ‘

so yea , felix is surprised to hear that since his original idea of dedue had been of a loyal , rabid dog . he also didn’t believe that dedue considered felix as somebody close to him . at the very least , felix didn’t realise that dedue considered felix WORTHY enough to protect . i think its here that he realises that dedue cares enough for felix , at the very least he cares because dimitri GNUINELY cares enough about felix despite felix not realising that at first .

⪢ getting called out for being concerned

the thing about felix is that felix DOES happen to care . it is WHY he’s so aggressive towards those he likes and cares about ( sylvain & dimitri ) he doesn’t WANT them to get hurt . i think you really see that care and concern in felix’s supports with mercedes . but back to dedue . he gets mad and calls dedue an idiot because , yes , he GNUINELY , doesnt want dedue to die . obviosuly cause it would bother dimitri , but also , it goes back to the idea of ‘ DONT die for glory or celebration . ‘ like he WANTS his friends & comrades alive . so hes frustrated with the idea that dedue could hav died and he could have died BECAUSE of felix . which would have left felix guilt - ridden .

and naturally , felix DENIES dedue when hes called out on it cause that is precisely what felix does as an individual . he denies truths by disagrees and not admitting it . because he has a HARD time of admitting the truth like that about himself . but most people who know felix well enough know that is just who he is .

bottom line is that , yes felix IS concerned for dedue’s health & safety . he just doesn’t want to admit it cause he struggles with admitting anything to anybody . hence why he does the whole ‘ i’ll kill you if you die ‘ which DOESN’T make sense but for felix , its jsut his way of showing that , yea , he CARES . which , naturally , some people will recognise this to a tsundere trope .

#hc.#long post #i'm .. so exhausted ngl .#dealing with a headache for 2 days is not fun :<

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nooneandeveryone · 3 years

Text

The Collector from Asa's POV

Don't really have a title for this thing yet.

BUT ANYWAY, here is the chunk I've written already. I decided to name his attack dog Ranger, btw.

Warnings: not much yet, typical gore mention

-----

He had planned everything perfectly. It was easy to slip in among the workmen and lay the groundwork. No one ever bothers to ask an exterminator why he needs to tear open a wall. They welcomed his inspection of their basement.

Once he started, he would have as long as he wanted. After all, the family was supposed to be out of town, no one would check to see if they actually were. No one seemed to particularly care for them anyway. They bought good-will.

He set Ranger up as a guard. He was well trained but still required being chained when they worked. Otherwise, Ranger would pursue any escapees instead of remaining at the house. He learned that the hard way. He found him fifteen miles away with the remains of the last one. That skill was extremely useful at home; it kept his collection from bolting. Less useful when hunting live specimens.

It was so easy. They were so predictable. Like flies. And just as easy to catch.

He secured the man and the woman. He’ll get back to them soon. They had two children unaccounted for and he had some final traps to install.

He methodically went through the home. Laying the traps he couldn’t place during the day. As with most jobs, he used what they had on hand against them. Some traps he brought but the majority were fashioned from what he found on the property. Like the knives on the chandelier and many of the trip-wire traps. The bear traps, however, he brought with him. Simple to set up and they would kill or capture anyone who ran blindly into them.

The missing children didn’t bother him much. He knew their ages and names and habits. The eldest most likely slipped out before he arrived. The youngest would still be hiding in the house. She was at the age where hiding was a prized skill. He already secured the doors and windows. And if somehow, she was able to get outside, Ranger would alert him or kill her.

And if she was still in the house, the screams of her parents would draw her out. He started with the father. He had put up most of the fight to begin with. Honestly, he felt justified cutting open his face. Such glorious screams. Pure pain and fear.

Yet, it was not enough to bring the girl from hiding.

Finally, he heard Ranger’s alert barking outside. She was small, she must have found a gap. He rushed outside, he locked the door behind him but neglected the additional deadbolts.

And he found… nothing?

Ranger obediently came straight to him. Something alerted him. His ears were up and he was pacing. He knelt down to inspect the dog’s muzzle. Perhaps he bit whoever or whatever alarmed him.

There were black fibers between his teeth. No blood, but he did take hold of something. He gave the dog several reassuring pats. He did exactly what he wanted him to. “Good boy,” he told him before getting back to his feet.

His attention shifted to the ground. He followed the shallow paw prints, retracing Ranger’s steps. Scrapes in the dirt marked where he lunged at something. Further scrapes on the ground indicated it was a person. An adult.

Interesting.

He bent down to further inspect the markings, running his fingers to the edge of a partial foot-print. The eldest daughter perhaps? It wasn’t even midnight.

There was no way to tell who made those prints. It could be an opportunist. He was not the only one who knew the family would be away.

Whatever the cause, his actions would remain the same.

He returned to the home; making doubly sure he locked every single deadbolt. He stood and listened. While he heard nothing out of place, it still felt off. He’d do a quick sweep of the rooms. If someone was there, it would flush them out.

He thought he heard breathing when he reached the top of the stairs. The child?

He found no one and nothing out of place but it still didn’t feel right. He would set a couple additional traps, just in case.

If there was anyone here, he thought, releasing one of the parents would draw them out. He chose the father, letting him limp and crawl away.

Calmly, he waited long enough to make it appear as if the man escaped on his own. Let them feel hope.

As he climbed the stairs, he heard the father speaking. “It’s you. You did this.”

Very interesting.

And mere seconds later one of his larger traps tripped. He was very disappointed to only find it was the father. The idiot.

That accomplished nothing.

The father managed to wiggle away again, when he was dragging him back to the basement. He could scramble after him. Or, he could let the idiot spring another trap. Which he did.

Truly useless. This one did not deserve to live.

He secured the father to a chair in the basement. Taking a moment to break both his feet, that should keep him from causing any more trouble. While he would love to continue, his suspicions were too high.

There was someone else in the house.

He needed to be sure it wasn’t anyone unplanned for.

While again, he saw no one, there was subtle evidence that someone had been there. Someone who was quite good at staying unseen. He might have even missed them himself, if not for the doors.

Closet doors left slightly ajar. They were not like that when he stowed the trunk in the adjoining closet. Someone could still be hiding there.

Carefully, he used his knife as a mirror, drawing it through the gap. The reflection showed no one. But something was different. He nudged open the door with his foot.

An out of place tool bag.

A peek inside revealed the tools of a thief. Not too dissimilar from those he brought with him. He noticed the latex gloves and woolen mask shoved into the corner of the bag. This thief actually bothered to plan ahead. Ah, and the mask was ripped. They met Ranger.

He held the mask up to his own, sniffing. No smell of blood but a distinct reek of cigarette smoke.

A thief could be any number of the workmen from that morning. It would explain their elusiveness. They knew the layout as well as he did. He took a moment to think back, he saw a number of workers smoking that morning. At least, seven of them he could recall. One of them? But which one?

He got a familiar tingle of excitement. It was finally becoming interesting.

Perhaps someone challenging enough to keep.

A sudden scream.

He rushed back downstairs. Faintly hoping he’d find either the thief or the missing child.

No, the woman worked her gag free. The dumb bitch got his hopes up. Wait…

A faint amount of blood on her gag. It wasn’t from her, was it? He’d find out soon enough. He had both pliers and tin snips to help get his message across. If it was her own blood, he’d cut out her tongue for getting his hopes up again.

He used the pliers to force her tongue out. As she struggled, he noticed a faint smudge on her cheek. He had already positioned the tin snips at the base of her tongue. There was no sign of blood in or around her mouth. Other than that smudge and the staples.

Someone pulled her gag free. Someone talked to her. Someone told her to scream. She could keep her tongue. It wasn’t her fault.

He gingerly replaced the gag. He patted and shushed her. He wasn’t mad at her anymore.

If someone talked to her, they had to go past the father. He could tell him who and die cleanly. Or he would awl out his insides.

#jo does fanfic #the collector (2009)#asa emory #the collector 2009 #the collector #i used to RP the collector #it was fun and I'll do it again #and that's a threat

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merryfortune · 3 years

Text

Happiness.

Ship: Ryoken/Spectre

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS

Rating: T

Word Count: 2,293

Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Toxic Relationships, Healing, Past/Referenced Suicidal Thoughts

Ryoken had been happier of late.

That should not have been of Spectre’s concern, but it was. It was actually an entire root of anxiety for him.

Spectre had noticed it once he was off bedrest, coming out of his coma after his duel with Ai. There was a peculiarity to Ryoken’s behaviour. Smiles that were just a little bit too carefree for someone who had so closely and almost lost it all. Spectre wanted to assume that it was because all the Ignis were finally eliminated but he was certain that it was something else.

He recalled the ice cold fear that he felt in Ryoken’s arms very well. He was there when Spectre had woken up, with a start, like he had just come tumbling out of a nightmare but no. There had been nothingness, only an abyss. All there had been was a dream of darkness. The other Lieutenants concurred, their punishments were similar: just endless darkness per the coding of the Dark Ignis.

But even from that embrace, both celebratory and mournful, Spectre had sensed that there was something incredibly wrong. Or was at least going to be an aberration against what he considered normalcy. Ryoken’s strange happiness was absolutely the outcome of that precognition that Spectre had.

He had so badly wanted to enjoy the hug from Ryoken but his own melancholy had ruined it. That’s what Spectre had scolded himself for at first. Ryoken was so overjoyed that Spectre was safe and awake and he had ruined it. All because he was groggy and afraid. Afraid of losing what he had known for the past ten years.

What were the Knights of Hanoi to do, if their mission had been completed?

Was he necessary to Ryoken? Or needed by Ryoken?

Those were all questions that he had entertained for quite some time but never paid much attention as the answer twisted suicidally, after all. As Ryoken held Spectre, tears in his eyes, hugging him so tightly, Spectre would have preferred to have never woken up at all as he could have avoided all those questions from before that were now plaguing him worse than ever.

Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately for Spectre, things weren’t quite so fragile as he feared. Things didn’t break quite so ceremoniously as Spectre had expected. It almost felt like a holiday or a vacation but at ‘home’, how things steered away from their norm but without ever parting into unknown depths or territories. They still ate together, did work together, but their work was more mundane than their previous forays into cyber criminality. It was more piecework to put a little bit of money in the bank from people who had no idea they were hiring the infamous Knights of Hanoi’s upper echelon.

Yet it was this dullness and not quite peacefulness that made Spectre feel as though he were about to snap like a duressed rubber band. He repressed it, however. He did not want to - literally - rock the boat but it made him feel more like a ghost than usual. More of a shade than his usual self, some fainter mimicry of the person that he tried to be and no one noticed.

Why did no one notice?

He wished that Ryoken, at the very least, would notice that something was awry with him but Ryoken was happy now.

Why was Ryoken so happy now?

That question Spectre asked himself in his irritable despair shocked him. It wasn’t quite a revelation but it was an angle that he had not yet considered and mulled over in his olympian efforts to make himself feel worse whilst swaddling himself in the mantra that he was outwardly fine. It tied in well with his intuition that Ryoken was happy for reasons outside of the Knights of Hanoi’s mission having finally been fulfilled.

The realisation that followed next rushed down on Spectre. He needed to know what had happened to Ryoken to make him so seemingly happy. It was vitally important, Spectre convinced himself and so, he did what he considered what he did best. He tried to find out and he was very good at finding out things.

He didn’t like to proceed blindly, so he researched. He followed breadcrumbs and other trails where permissible but he was stalled out here. No matter how sly he acted, whether he was probing any of the Lieutenants or whether he trying to extract half-truths or the like from Ryoken.

Ryoken cottoned on fairly quickly, actually. Quicker than Spectre had hoped but that’s what he loved about Ryoken. But even so, Spectre felt rejected by the cold wariness I. Ryoken’s eyes as he asked, “Why are you prying into the events after your stasis? The matter has been long since resolved. It is none of your concern.”

And so, the rubber band that was Spectre snapped and he snapped back, “I know you are hiding something. I am sick of being left in the dark.”

Spectre stunned himself with how he sneered. How he snarled. How he snapped. He had never snapped or raised his voice at Ryoken. Ever. Over anything. His heart quaked with adrenaline and guilt but if Spectre was going to take the rare offense and embrace his rage, he decided that he best go all in, no matter the consequence or heartbreak. His fist balled up by his side and his glare was unlike Ryoken had ever seen upon his face before.

“I’m trying to protect you.” Ryoken sighed, a plea for Spectre to be reasonable and to relent was implicit to his exhale. To fall in line and be obedient per usual but no. It was time for the dog to bite it’s master.

“And what, pray tell, might you be protecting me from?” Spectre asked, his voice was tight and terse.

Ryoken’s face was pitiful, “From happiness.”

Happiness. That accursed word. It wasn’t the answer that Spectre had been expecting but he couldn’t say that he was surprised by it either. He had been taught from a very early age that happiness could be taken from him easily. Thus he ardently cherished and was grateful for whatever crumb that he could be given but he found it far more satisfying to be the vector that took happiness from others. It was only fair. Other children were happy, Spectre was not. It only made sense to him that other people were not allowed to be happy either. If anything, it was almost twistedly relieving to hear his decade long suspicion confirmed out loud. Even if it had to be by Ryoken.

Spectre’s irate expression said it all and Ryoken’s continuation of his statement was self-flagellating.

“My happiness, specifically. At least to start. I didn’t want you to have a bond with your Ignis lest I become second to it. When it was discovered that the best outcome for the Ignis was total elimination of all of them, I thought my selfishness noble.” Ryoken explained.

Spectre snorted. Became even more defensive than before.

“And I am still trying to protect you. I truly think this happiness would hurt you.” Ryoken said. “This happiness of mine you are so obsessed with because yes, you are excluded from it. Both purposefully and just by how the events of the Dark Ignis’s plan unfolded and occurred.”

“Just tell me.” Spectre snarled. He was getting teary in his frustration now.

His heart throbbed like it had been pierced as he recalled Earth’s death. Ryoken had salted that corpse well. He had done a very lousy job of trying to “protect” Spectre there with all the cruel things that he had said both in Spectre’s absence and his presence. Though if Ryoken was willing to guard this secret then perhaps he had learned from that incident. Perhaps Spectre should have cracked more during his duel with Lightning if his own nobility and loyalty was only going to peter out here.

“I had a duel with Soulburner and it felt more ceremonial than anything else. Myself, Soulburner, and Playmaker… it truly felt as though the Lost Incident had been put behind us and that is an incredibly freeing feeling and-”

“And not one I would understand, I take it?” Spectre interrupted Ryoken, sniveling.

Ryoken nodded sadly.

Spectre fumed. He felt alone. His face was red now and he bit his lower lip, begging his eyes to stop those damnable tears.

“I’m sorry-” Ryoken said, stepping forward, arms extended, for a hug.

“Don’t.” Spectre snapped.

With that, Spectre didn’t know what he might say next to his master but decided that was enough. He huffed, stepped aside, and made his retreat. He withdrew from the living room, letting Ryoken stand there, defeated and disappointed.

Spectre headed for his room and locked himself inside it. He had no idea what he was going to do now. His nerves were too set afire to sleep and all his brain wanted to do was pick apart everything that he and Ryoken had argued about. The compromise, he supposed, was to sit and stare at the wall. So, that’s exactly what he did. He just let his thoughts bristle and blunder, not even tiring of the awful emotions that he heavied himself with.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat at his desk for. Books that he had half attempted to read to take his mind off things strewn across it but he couldn’t make out the words in his anger and frustration. Then he heard a knock at the door.

“Spectre?” Ryoken called out. “I don’t want to leave our conversation like that.” He sounded pathetic.

“Go away.” Spectre told him, certain their fight would only escalate should they continue.

There was silence. It irked Spectre. It meant that Ryoken wasn’t walking away and letting things be. Per usual, he wanted to be the hero, the savior, the martyr. The whatever it was that he thought was.

A crackle of static disturbed the air. Spectre sighed. He supposed the intrusion to his room could be worse, Ryoken did have a master key assigned to his card, if he really wanted, he could open Spectre’s room and storm in. That crackle was Ryoken’s courtesy. Being a cruise ship, all the rooms were installed with speakers and radios. So, Spectre waited for an announcement meant solely for him in a state of irritation.

“Subject Number Four…” Ryoken began.

His voice cracked and Spectre knew he was holding back tears - or maybe he was afraid. Ryoken’s voice sounded distorted but purposefully so, like he was trying to make his voice sound higher, not to mention the echo as even whispering, Spectre could still hear him through the door. But it was how Ryoken had addressed him that disturbed him. Number Four. That was his label from the experiment; a number that suited him well, retroactively given his Ignis was the first to die and he, himself, was a ghost.

“I think you’re doing great.” Ryoken said.

Spectre sat excruciatingly still. He listened intently and somehow through the deafening sound of his heart racing in his chest. Was… was Ryoken…? A tear threatened to leak out the side of his eye. The imminent kindness was alien to Spectre as this was so familiar to how Ryoken conveyed his affection yet drastically different.

“You are braver and stronger than you realise.” Ryoken said. “It takes a very unique individual to smile and even laugh in the face of danger, I admire that. So think of three things that make you happy and never let go.”

Spectre got up and there was a hesitancy to his hand as he stood in front of the door. The passcode on his fingertips, reached out but not touching the plastic pad of the numbers just yet, and a lump in his throat. Even so, he spoke. He did as he was told. He thought of three things and he shared them with Ryoken.

“One, my Mother.” Spectre said, a tremble to his voice. “Two, beautiful things.” He typed in the passcode and his sliding door opened. He grinned but it was a very wobbly and wet grin. “Three, you.”

Ryoken smiled back and he was hugged by Spectre. Spectre buried his head in the crook of Ryoken’s neck and shoulders. Ryoken hugged him back.

“I’m sorry.” Spectre mumbled.

“I’m sorry, too.” Ryoken replied softly.

“I was… jealous. And anxious. I let that control me and I said some awful things, truly, Ryoken-sama, I apologise from the bottom of my heart.” Spectre murmured as he pulled back from the hug but Ryoken didn’t let him go, at least held his hands.

“I’m not entirely innocent either, I was being controlling and possessive.” Ryoken added. He shrugged, half-smiled. “The closure regarding the Lost Incident that we need is different, that’s… okay. I admire how unapologetic you are about your perspective and moving forward, I want to take inspiration from that in pursuit of my own happiness. So please, stay true to that as you pursue your happiness and healing. Even if we clash sometimes, and we will again as we pick up the pieces of what we need but that won’t change the fact that I care about you deeply. I love you, Spectre, and I don’t like fighting you.”

Spectre nodded, trying to ignore how he sniffled. Ryoken let go of one of Spectre’s hands so he could paw at his face, trying to make himself look presentable in the aftermath of all this. He then hugged Ryoken again and whispered, “I understand, I promise, I love you, too.”

Ryoken smiled, gladdened, consoled and though Spectre’s embrace was the tightest possible squeeze on him, it, too, carried a very freeing feeling as well.

#writing tag #respectfulshipping #yugioh vrains #vrains #yugioh #ryoken kogami #kogami ryoken #spectre (vrains)#a very sappy ending bc i am a very sappy person

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sunflowersseemhappy · 4 years

Note

Since Halloween is coming up, how about main 6 reacting to a werewolf! Mc?

Gods I’m a sucker for werewolves, I was torn between which kind of werewolf to use, I went with werewolves that just went from human to looking like a larger than normal wolf (under the full moon and during stressful situations). Highly intelligent but still quite wild and animalistic, a heritage earned through bloodlines the werewolf in question does not remember what happens that evening unless they have trained themselves to.

I had a bit of a block but I might come back to this over my Halloween holiday. But for now I hope you enjoy!

Masterlist!

Asra

The type of magic affecting a werewolf is old and powerful, and is magic that Asra had never come across until he met you.

At first Asra believed it to be some extension of your usual magic, it was all he ever saw those first few months of getting to know you.

Slowly his curiosity faded, but...

Every full moon you would give half an explanation about closing the shop, and every full moon that primal magic would be assault his senses.

He grew to worry every full moon and the times you became so stressed you ran off and he didn’t see you for days.

The third full moon that passed Asra came to the shop, feeling that same primal magic raging inside, he couldn’t bear not knowing anymore.

He forces the magic seals on the door open and it slams shut and locked behind Asra, he can’t see anything for the darkness except...

Large unblinking eyes, level with his own and laser focused on his face, what lurked in the dark approaches slowly.

Growling as Asra’s magic produces an orb of light in his hand the creature strides toward him all the same.

Into the light of the spell Asra casts stands the wolf, twice as tall as any normal wolf and bathed in magic.

The same primal magic you exude. Your magic...

Asra can see it in your eyes, it’s you, you’re there.

You are the primal, wild thing of myth, a hushed whisper. A werewolf.

Asra reaches to caress your fur, and you let him, even keening into his touch as he scratches your chin with a wry laugh.

You’re unsure of what this means but Asra’s not afraid and that's the start.

Nadia

Truth be told you didn’t look like you belonged in the shop let alone the palace when Nadia first met you, in fact you seemed uncomfortable.

The only place Nadia saw you belong was the woodlands of the palace grounds, comfortable and in your element, belonging in that moment.

She preferred it like that.

One night, a full moon, you are caught out by time, realising too late your mistake and excusing yourself to the room Nadia gave you.

An hour later Nadia comes to check on you, for what reason there is none but a niggling at the back of her mind and the sound of a smash.

She’s in the room within a moment and in the dim light of the lanterns she sees the large shape struggling to pull it’s head from a top, your top.

All thought leaves Nadia and she dashes to grab the sword hanging from the wall, her hand encircling the hilt.

Just then she’s knocked down and to the side.

Large paws pin her shoulders and press her down, snarl ripping from the giant wolf’s throat as it towers over her.

Recognition flashes between the both of you and in an instant your paws are off her chest, propelling you toward the balcony where you glance back at Nadia staring at you from the floor.

She cries out for you to wait and like its a command to a obedient dog you pause, ears flicked back and whining.

Part of you wants to run from Nadia, ashamed but as she shakily approaches and calls your name you can’t bear to leave her like this.

Nadia’s hand breezes over your snout as she kneels and looks at you with silent promise.

You start to feel more comfortable in the palace after that.

Julian

Something about you made Julian extremely nervous, he liked you, maybe that was what made him nervous, but there’s something else to it.

Maybe it was the way you looked at him, he had had plenty of people size him up the way you were doing so, or maybe it was because you complained about his alcohol breath when he had only had one drink.

Maybe its a magician thing, Asra always gives him those funny looks too.

Though that didn’t explain the breath thing...

The two of you are walking back to the shop that evening when you are cornered by men in the alley flashing knifes to your chests.

Julian doesn’t really think before he leaps to your defence, putting himself in harms way as the stranger leaps for you.

Blood rushes in your ears and you loose sense of the world, then it comes tumbling back behind new eyes and a wolf is leaping to Julian’s defence.

Julian watches the wolf knock one man into the canal, and for some reason he shouts a warning as the other stabs at the wolf. In a flash of teeth the wolf sinks its jaw onto the man’s arm and hurls him away.

Gone is the threat but when Julian moves the wolf lets out a startled snarl, halting abruptly at the warning Julian stares at the wolf. It stares back.

When it doesn’t move, Julian dares to glance behind him, you’re not there.

Despite the wolf Julian scrabbles to his feet and shout’s your name, the wolf’s ears prick up in response. Just like his own dog used to do when he called her name.

With more confidence Julian says your name again the wolf advances snuffling his face and sneezing when it smells the alcohol on his breath.

That is too familiar to be anyone else.

Muriel

When you first met Muriel he was struck by how comforting you felt, like Inanna and the forest, one and the same with both those things.

But you were still a person, not matter how comforting you are scars of the past take longer to heal.

But maybe that is how he came to trust you so quickly.

Its the first evening you haven’t bothered... come to visit Muriel in a while.

He’s trying not to care but you’ve always been so keen to spend time in the forest with him and Inanna and missing an evening must mean something has happened.

He tries not to think of it as he collects firewood under the full moon, Inanna snuffling at his heels as he does so.

The howl of a wolf has been calling across the valley, long and alone, each time Inanna has keenly listened whining under her breath.

A flicker of movement and there stands the biggest wolf Muriel has seen, standing silhouetted on a rock and looking straight at him.

Corse fur and sinewy limbs, a giant creature that stands almost to his shoulder. Inanna barks in greeting, her tail wagging as she trots over unafraid.

Muriel tenses as their noses meet, but there is no aggression or fight in the large wolf as if greets Inanna and then looks questioningly at him.

The gaze beckons him forth and Muriel approaches as the wolf leans to snuff at his face and nuzzles his jaw where his scar sits.

Like a kiss, your kiss, the one you use when you say hello or goodbye.

That means... things seem to make sense now, that comfort has been a part of his whole life because you are exactly the same.

You’re the forest, a wolf, a person. Everything he trusts.

Portia

Upon you meeting Portia she suddenly felt much smaller than usual, and for once she didn’t feel like making a snarky comment which was uncomfortable... but more so she was curious.

But she never found a reason to not trust you, or a reason for how uncomfortable you could make her feel sometimes.

Soon enough she accepted it.

Its early evening as you help Portia tend the garden, grabby little plants who underestimate the strength of humans pulling them up flail around.

You’re pulling at a particularly strong unmoving plant as you work but you could have sworn this one had had some vines protecting it earlier...

Portia turns at the sound of a yelp of pain to see you wrapped up in thorny vines, you wriggle as they pinch into your skin and let out a snarl.

So guttural and animalistic Portia halts from grabbing her shovel to help you and watches as your body changes in the grasp of the vines.

As your eyes change you look startled at Portia as she witnesses the arrival of the wolf inside, body growing so large the vines can no longer contain the wolf and its free.

Despite the thorns on the vines the wolf rips into them and digs up the plant in such fury that it flies from the soil.

When the wolf turns panting and bloody, Portia takes a step back, but seeing the blood and dirt and the exhaustion on the wolf... no your face she slowly approaches.

Her hand buries itself in your fur and you let out a low grumble, glancing to the trees as if looking for an escape.

It seems you both make each other feel small and for once its a good thing.

Lucio

To Lucio you exuded power and authority, more with your stance than anything else but he found it wildly attractive and intimating.

That’s enough to make Lucio feel like he has a type, but who knows you could work out unlike his former marriage.

But there’s more to it than that; you seemed not unlike the demons he had met and in the beginning there seemed to be some power to have.

A full moon sits bright in the sky that evening, your reminder of the clock ticking down and that you need to escape Lucio’s chatter.

But he keeps pulling you back to hang out in the garden, he’s engrossed in story upon story as you quickly excuse yourself, bolting into the forest.

Lucio thinks its some kind of game, but either way it can’t hurt to follow.

So he does racing after the sounds of your movement blindly and calling teasingly as he whips his head around to look for you.

And all of a sudden he walks into a glade and smashes into the body of something, he thinks it you and laughs before it dies in his throat.

A wolf glowers down at him, taller than him with a maw of sharp teeth and glinting eyes. Lucio stutters as it shakes out its fur and looks almost expectantly down at him.

Lucio stands and goes to unsheathe his sword but the wolf lets out a whine, pinning its ears and looking shockingly guilty.

But there’s something different about this beast, even Lucio knows that and... a glint of gold around the wolf’s paw.

It lifts it up as Lucio looks at it, a bangle of gold sits there. A gift he had given to only one person.

All of a sudden Lucio realised what made you so intimidating.

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teaveetamer · 3 years

Note

The overt racism kills me though. Like there was no need? Felix's dickishness being defined around Dedue's behaviour towards Dimitri was entirely sufficient for their interactions. The race angle feels almost malicious towards the character. He never talks or mentions any of his feelings towards the people of Duscur in the game at all. It's literally not important to him. He is a dick, but there is being a dick to others and being a virulent racist, shouting slurs at genocide victims.

I am honestly thinking this might be a way to tank his popularity for CYL6, so they won't have any more 3H sweeps. And his fans are gonna have rough times ahead of them, if he has many left in the end. Honestly what the fuck. Ingrid's racism is addressed for what it is and honestly a lot milder overall. (and she still got heat)

Again, difference between being a jerk, as could be seen in the main game and being a confirmed, unrepentant and unchallenged racist.

Ehhh... You know I never really analyzed this when just talking about the game on its own, but while I definitely would argue that none of Felix’s 3H dialogue is overtly racist toward the people of Duscur I also don’t think I can argue that he doesn’t care about race or the people of Duscur at all.

I mean Ingrid and Ashe both dream of being knights (which means they would also blindly obey Dimitri), but he doesn’t give them one tenth of the vitriol he directs at Dedue. Sure you could argue for Ingrid that’s because they’re already friends and have known each other since childhood, but doesn’t work so much with Ashe.

You could also argue that Dedue is much more extreme in his dedication to Dimitri, but that only comes up because Felix comes out swinging at him in the first place. I mean he literally opens their support by calling him “dog” and then demands to know why he follows Dimitri. Dedue literally describes the genocide to him and Felix is like “HA look at how blindly obedient you are” as if that was the point of what Dedue was saying.

Now I’m not saying that’s intentionally racist or anything, but you can definitely interpret “Felix is a lot crueler toward Dedue than his other peers” that way. Personally I always just saw it as Felix having beef with Dedue for a myriad of character reasons (foremost being that he feels displaced by Dedue’s presence, Dedue is a constant reminder of what happened to his family and to Dimitri, and Felix is just plain bad at expressing himself).

Whether or not racism was intentional on the part of the writers or if we were supposed to take an alternate interpretation... It’s impossible to say. We could argue that different people write for Heroes and therefore this Felix conversation isn’t supposed to be reflective of Felix’s actual character, but it’s just as likely that someone over at IS saw this as an opportunity to re-write the support a little to be more clear about what they intended for Felix in the games. These things always go up the chain before they get published, after all. We just don’t know, and we probably never will.

You also have to remember that we’re reading this game through a localizer’s eyes. I’ve never seen a translation of Felix and Dedue’s supports in Japanese, nor have I seen one yet of this conversation in Heroes.

#Anonymous

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slash-em-up · 4 years

Text

Onero: A Collector Fic

TW: This fic deals with themes of PTSD and and past trauma-related distress. Along with violence and abuse that comes with the territory if you’re at all familiar with the Collector franchise. If this is going to be triggering to you please skip this one.

-------------------------------------------------------

Asa sighed through his nose and tried not to roll his eyes as he sat outside the dean’s office, waiting to be let in.

It was the first week of the semester, and someone in the administration had the bright idea that the students might want to know their professors on a more personal level. They had pitched the scheme to the dean that they should hire a reporter to do bios on the senior faculty members.

Which brought Asa to his current place in the waiting room. It was his turn on the proverbial chopping block.

God, he could kill that damn receptionist if she told him it would ‘only be a little while longer’ once more in that sugar-y tone of hers. He didn’t particularly care if he ever went into the office; but he wanted out of this building as soon as possible. He’d never been one to play the academic politics game; and being this close to so many smarmy brown-nosers was making his skin crawl.

Nearly at his limit - and thinking of a reasonable excuse to make a hasty retreat back to his lab, Asa’s plan was foiled by the deans’ heavy oak door opening - the ringing sound of boisterous laughter reaching his ears.

The dean strolled out with one of the classics professors nearly glued to his side.

“Oh Henry, you old so-and-so! I should have known better than to expect good behavior from you!”

The classics professor laughed a bit too grandiosely as he clapped a hand to the dean’s shoulder.

“Well, Alister, if you actually go out and hire someone to make me talk about myself, how can I resist?”

Hands were shaken, future lunch plans were exchanged, and the professor left - leaving the dean to turn his attention to Asa.

His lips thinned almost immediately.

“Well, Doctor Emory. It appears you’re next on our list of victims...”

Asa stood and offered the dean his hand, which was only barely grasped before the heavy-set man turned back into his office.

“…Let’s get this over with.”

A wiry man with a wrinkled button-down met the pair as they entered the room. He stood, grinning widely at Asa and eyeing him up and down in a way that reminded Asa of something he himself would casually do when hunting a new piece for his collection. Looking for something special.

Looking at a prize.

“Doctor Emory, this is Mr. Curtis. He’s on loan to us from the Daily Star.”

Asa gave the man a curt nod before taking a seat in one of the deans overstuffed leather chairs.

The man was nearly vibrating with excitement as he reached for a tape recorder and a notepad - pulling out and clicking his pen in a way that grated on Asa’s nerves as readily as if he’d started reciting some god-awful beat poetry.

And still, he was staring.

“Doctor Emory, it’s so great to finally meet you. You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to sit down like this in private. I can’t wait to really dig into your story.”

Taken slightly aback, Asa stayed quiet and considered the man before answering.

“Well, it’s always a pleasure to meet someone with a passion to write about the sciences. I went to university in -“

Curtis interrupted.

“You know, I was really hoping we could go back a bit further than that. Say, back to your childhood.”

Asa blinked.

“… I suppose. I’ve always had an interest in insects, as far back as I can remember. I began by catching moths and butterflies in a nearby -“

“Was that something your parents encouraged?”

“My what?”

The dean chuckled at Asa’s befuddled response.

“You know, Dr. Emory, ‘mater’ and ‘pater’. The last genealogical link, as it were… hehe…”

Asa forced a small grin in the deans direction.

“Yes. Of course. My parents were always supportive of my academic endeavors. So, as I was saying - In college I -“

“Was that something you helped your father with at the museum?”

Again, Asa was struck dumb by the man’s questions.

“… How did you know about that?”

Curtis leaned forward in his chair, grinning at Asa in a way the larger man didn’t care for at all.

“I’ll be honest, Asa, although the school hired me to write the teacher’s bios, the main thing that brought me here was you.”

The pieces of this puzzle were beginning to form in Asa’s mind. The picture was… distressing.

“Me.”

It wasn’t a question.

“I’ve been studying your family’s murders for years, and to actually be sitting in the room with the last survivor of your fathers rampage is just… incredible.”

Asa stood abruptly.

“I think we’re done here.”

Both Curtis and the dean rose in protest.

“Wait! I have some questions about -“

“Dr. Emory, sit -“

“Is it true you helped your father skin your sis-“

“Carol, call security, I -“

“Did you know what he was planning when he -“

“Mr. Curtis, please!”

“How long were you in that trunk?”

Asa made it out of the room and down the hall before his legs gave out beneath him.

‘No, no, no, no, not now…’

But it was too late.

***********************

The smell of the formaldehyde coupled with the cheap cologne Giles Emory always wore to cover the stench of decay…

The cold press of the family dinner table under Asa’s face as he was flung down to watch the man he shared blood with instruct him on how to remove a full limb of skin without tearing it; Patricia still alive and watching in horror as she was flayed…

Erin screaming as she bled out onto the floor, crawling for Clara, who was already dead …

His mother smiling at him from across the room before her husband smashed her skull in…

The heavy, overbearing quiet that followed the slaughter; knowing he was locked in a trunk, left alone in a room filled with corpses…

************************

And just like that, Asa was back in the hall, forehead pressed to the cool tile floor as he gasped for breath.

He scrambled up, leaning against the wall as he blinked back tears that threatened to fall -stubbornly swiping at them as he reached out blindly for the glasses that had skidded across the floor when he fell.

Placing the thick frames back on his face, Asa stood, looking around the room to see if anyone had followed to bare witness to his moment of weakness.

Thankfully the hall was quiet - abandoned by students and faculty alike as the hour grew late.

Running a hand through his sandy hair, the tall man walked slowly out of the Admin building and back to his office.

He gathered his effects in a haze and honestly couldn’t recall driving home until the soft press of warm fur and wet noses against his hands registered.

“… Hello, boys…” Asa murmured.

Hellstrom and Burkhart began to whine - able to sense in ways that only dogs can that all was not well with their human.

The familiar noises of the dogs and the smell of cedar and dust that permeated his home had a grounding effect on Asa, and with a few deep breaths he was feeling nearly like himself again.

Leaving his briefcase at the door, man and dogs wandered from the entryway into the small library.

The dogs sat obediently at their masters feet as he opened up his laptop and quickly re-routed his browser to a private window - untraceable, and immediately erased as soon as his session was done.

The man hummed softly as the homepage for the Daily Star popped up.

“Mr. Kevin Curtis… who lives at 228 Elmhurst Drive, apartment number 12… perhaps we can continue our little chat… on my terms.”

The Collector smiled.

“I think that sounds like a lovely time…”

#the collector 2009 #the collection 2012 #asa emory #the collector slasher #horror movies #slasher fiction #jessica writes #tw: child abuse #tw: PTSD #tw: violence

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disgraceddogstar · 4 years

Photo

Sirius Orion Black III

birthday: november 3rd house: gryffindor blood status: pureblood loyalty: order of the phoenix clubs: astronomy, astronomy homework, dueling zodiac: scorpio mbti: enfp-t (campaigner) alignment: chaotic good

✓ Humor ——- “Did you like question ten, Moony?”

He is barking laughter and poorly timed jokes, puns upon puns - seriously. A grin as wide as the day is long, carefree and easy. Light in the black of war; white sheep in the Black family. His good humor has covered him and carried him through all that he’s seen. It’s as much a shield for himself as it is those with whom he surrounds himself.

✓ Loyal ——- “Died rather than betray your friends, as we would have done for you!”

He is fierce, heart full for those he holds dear. Not many are kept that close, but there is no hesitation when asked to give his life. Warmth and comfort, in the crook of his smile and the corners of his eyes. Brilliance and steadfast companionship: a dog is man’s best friend.

✓/✕ Strong-Minded | Judgemental ——- “Besides, the world isn’t split into good people and Death Eaters. We’ve all got both light and dark inside us.”

He is a tree rooted to the earth, tall and proud. Unmoving and firm against the hailing storm. Beliefs, unwavering, unwilling to hear. Opposition is wrong, and he knows it as well as he knows the stories written in the night sky. He is strong-willed and stubborn; a brick wall would be more receptive. He thinks himself open-minded, but it is only another belief.

✕ Impulsive ——- “What is life without a little risk?”

He is snap decisions made in the heat of the moment. Turbulent and emotional, judgement shifts as easily as debris caught in the tide. Words, biting, leaving scars as easily as laughter erases them from his mind. Passing thoughts in an endless stream of chaos - why waste time paying mind to outcomes when you can just act?

✕ Rebellious ——- “There are things worth dying for!”

He is 2 am, leather, and a mess of discarded liquor bottles scattered about the floor. Blood-kissed knuckles and knuckle-kissed jaw. Smirks and sighs toppling from carved lips. Caught in a tempest, winds whipping his hair about his face, unable to see, blindly stumbling along, deafening roars threaten to consume him - one foot in front of the other. Raw magic crackling in the air, electricity against your skin; a beautiful sight when it implodes.

headcanons: (tw: mania, depression, alcohol, slurs, mentions of dysphoria, mentions of abuse)

Patronus: It’s commonplace that a Patronus will match a witch or wizard’s Animagus form, if they happen to be such, and Sirius is no exception. His Patronus takes the form of a dog, matching that of his Animagus counterpart: a bear-like German Shepherd. German Shepherds are known for being intelligent, loyal, and fiercely over-protective. Any close friend of his would attest to the fact that Sirius exemplifies those qualities. He is a bright wizard, and he would do anything for those he cares about.

Wand: As badly as Sirius sometimes wishes his wand was made from Dogwood (think of the irony! the puns! the beauty of the universe!), he was chosen by a Cypress wood wand with a Dragon Heartstring core, 15 inches, rigid.

“Cypress wands are associated with nobility. The great medieval wandmaker, Geraint Ollivander, wrote that he was always honoured to match a cypress wand, for he knew he was meeting a witch or wizard who would die a heroic death. Fortunately, in these less blood-thirsty times, the possessors of cypress wands are rarely called upon to lay down their lives, though doubtless many of them would do so if required. Wands of cypress find their soul mates among the brave, the bold and the self-sacrificing: those who are unafraid to confront the shadows in their own and others’ natures.”

Sirius won’t think about the wandlore behind cypress wands and their masters dying a heroic death until the fleeting, infinite moment in which he begins to fall in the Department of Mysteries. He will think it ironic, then, that his death is hardly heroic at all; that, naturally, James and Lily had far more heroic deaths than him. (He will also think about finally, finally reuniting with them again, and he will think of how sorry he is for leaving Remus and Harry behind, but James, here I come.)

“As a rule, dragon heartstrings produce wands with the most power, and which are capable of the most flamboyant spells. Dragon wands tend to learn more quickly than other types. While they can change allegiance if won from their original master, they always bond strongly with the current owner. The dragon wand tends to be easiest to turn to the Dark Arts, though it will not incline that way of its own accord. It is also the most prone of the three cores to accidents, being somewhat temperamental.”

It is of interest to note that dragon wands tend to be easily swayed towards the Dark Arts. Sirius thinks it should be noted, and then he will tell it to fuck right off, thank you very much. He knows that, had things gone just a little differently, he wouldn’t have had any difficulty using Dark Magic; in fact, he’d have been rather adept at it. Sirius laughs at the notion - and would like to tell the Dark Lord that he can fuck right off, too.

Sirius is a very quick learner. He is intelligent and, when he puts his mind to a task, he is able to stay determined and focused. Magic runs strong in his veins, so it’s only natural he be paired with a wand that is able to keep up with him and his raw power. That being said, however, Sirius’ magic is - too often - unpredictable. It has been since he was a child, and he still experiences outbursts of unintentional magic when his emotions get the better of him; the dragon wand nurtures his accidental magic, at times.

&--------Little Lion Man

He is named for the Dog Star, the most brilliant star in the sky, visible from anywhere on Earth - an actuality he embraces and carries with him from the moment he is able to understand its meaning. Ancient namings signify he is scorching, sparkling, bringing destruction and rebirth. He is important, and his name informs everyone of such.

But he is the point of Canis Major, a hunting dog, ever looking towards his master, Orion. Later, he would think it ironic that he was intended to obediently follow the hunter across the sky. When he was young, though, he did follow his father, his master, with wide eyes and a thirst to learn, to emulate. He did, after all, carry his father’s name as one of his own. He thought it only right that he be his hunter. He learned quickly enough to leave Orion Black be.

His name embraces the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black - a reality he despises when he is older. He is taught to believe that to be a Black, to be a Pureblood is to be royalty. He believes it.

He spends the majority of his childhood being trained to be the perfect Pureblood heir, to be the perfect Black. He attends many Pureblood-only balls and events, and is taught the proper way to mingle with other Purebloods. He learns manners and etiquette, and he is expected to be a proper child. There are never many other children at the balls, but he is reminded that it is improper to run about and make a fool of oneself like ordinary children; he is, after all, anything but ordinary.

How could he be? His name attests to his brilliance.

&--------My Manic & I

Sirius is living with undiagnosed Bipolar 1 Disorder. It won’t ever be diagnosed or named in-game since they’re living in the 70s (it’s still fairly misunderstood now), but it definitely affects him. I feel like his upswings are pretty intense, and it usually results in him wanting to be out all the time and doing things, and he feels infallible and invincible, and he’s a lot more likely to be reckless (even more so than what is typical for him) and make snap decisions. He definitely has a tendency towards dangerous ideas that he thinks are absolutely brilliant (see: the Prank with Snape). On the other end of it, though, Sirius’ lows are very low, and he self-medicates with alcohol when he’s suffering from the worst of his depression (see: pretty much all of Order of the Phoenix). But I don’t think that Sirius recognizes the depression as such. It’s a lot easier for him to acknowledge when he’s feeling great and on top of the world as opposed to when he’s feeling like shit and struggles with getting out of bed in the morning. He’s a lot more likely to hide that side of himself, too, and play it off with a smirk and light-hearted joke at someone else’s expense. He became an expert at hiding his emotions at a young age, after all.

&--------I Want to Break Free

If someone were to ask Sirius his gender and sexuality, he would quirk a brow and scoff and let out a bark of laughter because what sort of daft question is that? But, secretly. he enjoys the company of both men and women.

Sirius doesn’t remember the exact moment when he realized that he was attracted to men. Maybe it was sometime in his third year, when he had accompanied James to watch the Quidditch team practice. Maybe he had caught himself staring at one of the seventh years - a boy with shaggy brown hair and a strong jaw - as he flew around the Pitch. Maybe he had felt the distinct swoop in his stomach as he had watched, and maybe he had imagined what it would be like to kiss the older boy.

But Sirius only really remembers being too afraid to say anything to James, Remus, and Peter, being afraid that it would change everything and they would think him a freak that they didn’t want to be friends with, anymore. Especially after his “prank” on Snape in 5th year, Sirius doesn’t want to do anything that could again alienate him from his friends. They’re all he really has.

Something else he would never admit to is the many times he has passed frilly shop windows and imagined being able to wear whatever clothes he wants that he sees, or wished he could be as comfortable in his own skin as David Bowie, or Freddie Mercury. Sirius doesn’t always feel exactly right in the body he has, and he doesn’t understand it even a little bit. After all, it’s hard enough to deal with the war; he doesn’t want to even begin to focus on the whole gender bit.

In modern terminology, he would identify as gender-fluid demiromantic pansexual, but that’s too fancy and way ahead of his time, so all he knows is that he’s queer - just another way in which he would have disappointed his family.

&--------The best thing that has ever happened:

“I know that you will make us proud, Sirius.”

No one ever expected Sirius to be a Gryffindor; he certainly hadn’t when he had stepped up to the stool to be sorted his first year at Hogwarts. His entire family had come from Slytherin. He even knew that, somewhere in his lineage, he was related to Salazar Slytherin himself. But as Sirius’ attention had drifted to the far table of green and silver, he had felt a tug in his stomach that he hadn’t really understood.

….“GRYFFINDOR!”

He ignored the shouts and jests coming from the Slytherin table to rightfully take his place amongst the lions of Hogwarts. He was joined, thankfully, by James and the redhead he had met with the greasy boy (he was grateful - and always would be - that the greasy one ended up in Slytherin).

It wasn’t before he was whisked away to his dorm and he got to know his fellow dormmates: one sickly-looking boy named Remus and a short, ordinary boy named Peter. Sirius thought he could do without Remus and Peter. Who needed them when he had James, his best friend? But Remus and Peter did prove themselves when they turned the greasy boy’s hair a bright shade of pink for a week. That, Sirius decided, was enough to earn his respect.

The four of them quickly became inseparable, and Sirius decided that being a Lion was worth the consequent Howlers he received, even if meant returning from the Christmas hols with bruises hidden beneath scratchy sweaters.

&--------And the worst: "Blood traitor! Filth! Scum!“

He tried not to cry out as his mother punished him one final time for being an insolent disgrace; he wouldn’t give her the pleasure. He was worse for the wear, however, when she finished with him and sent him off to think about his disobedience. Again. Sirius sat, on the edge of his bed, trembling; it was out of his control. He thought, but it didn’t take long for him to realize what he must do.

He needed to leave.

He hastily threw what belongings he could into his school trunk, gathering up anything he deemed important. He was able to perform a simple expansion and levitation charm - he decided he could deal with the Ministry later - and led his trunk out of his room. But he knew he needed to stop at his brother’s room before he left.

Sirius loved his brother and he has always loved his brother, but Regulus was not like him. He was weak-minded and bent to the wishes of their parents. Sirius always wanted to keep Regulus safe from them, from Mother, but he went to school and was sorted into Gryffindor and it changed. He became the disgrace, and it had been up to Regulus to be the perfect son. Sirius never wanted that for him, and he didn’t want that for him now. So he tried to bring Regulus with him. He wanted to ask, wanted him to leave and escape the hell they had grown up in.

But Regulus didn’t leave with him. He wasn’t like Sirius. He was an idiot, and he didn’t leave. So Sirius goes. But not before he watched as his mother blasted his name from the family tree.

(Sirius will always regret not making Regulus leave with him.)

#abintro #bio #hc&.{the boy with the broken halo}#writing&.{my manic and i}#aesthetic&.{killer queen}#abuse cw

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