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artinandwritin · 2 years

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alright I wanna hear all about this ghost hunting au please please please

OH YEAH OFC!! Id love to infodump hehe

As for the "basic knowledge " for this au, cuz ofc I can't do an au without vicariously planning every single detail, we're talking about a modern au type of au here, set between 2015-2021 in the small - kinda haunted - town of Berk. Ghostly appearances and voices that don't belong are a regular for some inhabitants.

Luckily, we got some Ghost Hunters to take care of things, and not just any Ghost Hunters, no, these are famous, inspiring ones. Everyone wants them, everyone wants to be them, cuz they've got money from living off of YouTube. Great.

Spoiler, these Ghost Hunters are the Gang cuz ofc they are. Hiccup's a successful capturer of supernatural evidence and a great exorcist and operates the most dangerous houses with his trusted crew, existing of his wife Astrid, his cousin Snotlout, and friends Fishlegs, Ruff and Tuff. They're having fun and I love them in this au <3

Zooming in a little bit, we're turning our cameras to the biggest fanboy of Ghosts, first year college student Gustav, and his new bestie, Liam Arnesen (my friend's Sol's oc!). Well, Gustav has big hopes and dreams for the future; one, getting rich af, two, get a pretty person to be the love of his life, and three, to start a successful Ghost Hunting company like his big half-brother Snotlout and cousin Hiccup. Sure, he's got no money cuz daddy Spitelout stopped paying child support to his mom, but he's got the spirit and the diplomas from online courses about Ghosts to make up for it.

Luckily, fate decides to be nice to him and brings him a medium, in the form of Solveig Onfroy (another one of Sol's ocs!), Liam's fierce girlfriend. She's an absolute queen who is able to sense Ghosts around her, like a badass, and Gustav's like, "you. I want you. In the company". And Solveig says, "um. Well okay I guess?".

So Solveig, Liam and Gustav schedule a time and date to go visit an abandoned, allegedly haunted house - Gustav takes his childhood friend, high school senior Siri Vínteri, with him as well, just cuz he likes her face and gets all butterflies when he's around her. Totally platonic. Siri is a hashtag rich kid, a cousin to Ghost Hunter Astrid, very sweet, a bit naive, that whole shabang. She's also a horse girl and thinks a 100 bucks is the same as 10 bucks. Yeah, that's what generational wealth does to a person. It's a problem.

The four go on an adventure in the haunted house and after some wacky shenanigans, they decide to finally start Gustav's company and air their show online! The Ghost Hunter. Inc is a fact. This all happens in autumn to winter of 2015, its a wild ride. Soon after this, Gustav and Siri start dating - Siri treats her broke boyfriend to a lot of little presents cuz she doesn't know how to handle money - and life goes on.

Skip to a few years later, to december of 2020, Solveig and Liam have gotten married, the company has gained two more employees, Luka Grimborn and his girl Kristen Everson (two ocs of my friend Chloe, Kris' name might get a change! Idk yet, she's been talking about it), and they've settled into an easy life style. Most of them have part time jobs outside of their Ghost Hunting business, but it's a sincere passion project for all of them - even if Hiccup's company still has more subscribers, lmao.

One night, Gus and Siri do a little haunted house exploration of their own. They had gotten engaged a few months prior and were currently getting ready for their wedding, fun times. However, shit sure does happen in that haunted house, called Edgewater Mental Asylum. Siri gets attacked by the Ghost of an angry mother who had lost her baby in childbirth, called Isabella, now searching for a new baby to raise. Welp, Seer finds out she's pregnant. Fun times for her for sure. After a long struggle and some injuries, the Ghost disappears. GusSiri goes to Solveig and Liam in a panic, not sure how to handle with what had happened.

While Solveig doesn't notice anything weird, her adoptive daughter, five year old Elanor, does notice. A medium as well, she senses Siri's pregnancy and how the baby is a little boy. However, she senses something else as well. Something... Dark, inside of Siri.

Ding ding, our girl's possessed!

No-one believes little Elanor, though. Sadness. However, she seems to have been right as time passes and the signs get more and more noticable, until Isabella fully takes over and attacks the little girl, with Zephyr Haddock, Hiccup's daughter, in the room.

Time for an exorcism! While, after much struggle, Isabella leaves Siri's body, her influence hangs around, causing Seer's son to be born prematurely. After this, Siri temporarily leaves the company, but returns after working things over with Gustav and Solveig about her role in the workplace. She wouldn't go on trips anymore, just stay home with her son and do the work behind the scenes. I have the feeling she would start a podcast and invite other ghost hunters for the hot tea. Astrid would probably be a regular.

So yeah, that's kind of the basics! Since it's a pretty old au, some parts are under construction and backstories are being rewritten, which has forced me to leave a lot of shit out which i think is sad.

Anyways, its more brutal than i show here. It's so, so much more brutal. Isabella nearly murders Seer in the first chapters and Solveig is forced to use violence on her highly pregnant friend. Also, child abuse by cranky ghost. It's fun >:)

Thank you sm for the ask!! I loved answering this sm you have no idea. This au is so dear to my heart - cuz it's my oldest - and i love it sm. All the hugs to you <333

#thank you for the ask!#httyd oc #ghost hunter au #oc #oc x canon #gussiri #siri vínteri #artinandwritin's lore #gustav httyd

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fratboykate · 2 years

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Hailee’s new tiktok really gives Frat Boy energy for me idk and I had to immediately go here and report it to you :))) maybe Kate in KYFBAU tries to serenade to Yelena for valentine kinda thing?? and Yelena is so shock cause Kate CAN sing ;)))

Lmao I don't like throwing the kitchen sink at characters but let's "YES AND" it for a moment, entertain it, and say she can sing. I would one thousand percent drop the bomb at her dad's wedding.

It'd be like the middle of the reception and it's just been awkward as hell the whole night because, again, Kate brought a whole girlfriend to a room that's like 60% Republicans lol. Most people haven't outright said anything because if there's one thing rich people can be is FAKE AS FUCK in the moment but you can feeeeeeeeeeel the tension and Kate knows her phone is going to be blowing up come tomorrow morning. But Kate just like kisses Yelena's cheek, squeezes her hand, and goes "Gotta do something. Be back in a bit." And Yelena is like "???????????? BITCH YOU'RE NOT ABOUT TO LEAVE ME AT THIS TABLE ALONE ARE YOU?!??????????!!!!!" But Kate has to go. Yelena sees Kate talk to someone by the stage and then she disappears behind it.

They've had SOLID entertainment all night. The dad is marrying some girl that might as well be Undeclared Freshman (she's like 28 but Yelena is an ass lol) so there's been a few famous faces coming in, singing a few hit songs for The Youth scattered around the room, and bolting out after they cash their large check. So after like fifteen minutes Kate's dad grabs the mic and he gives this whole speech about how family is the most important thing to him and he ends it with how his wife and his kids getting along is paramount to his life so having his princess, his munchkin, his bb girl, his angel bb, the baby who will follow in his footsteps and run his empire, the child with the most beautiful voice he's ever heard sing a few songs at his wedding for his new wife is the honor of his life. And Yelena is like "BITCH THE FUCK WHAT DO YOU MEAN *MY GIRLFRIEND* SINGS?! I'VE NEVER HEARD THIS ASSHOLE SO MUCH AS CARRY A TUNE?! SHE DONT EVEN SING IN THE SHOWER WHAT?!" Her eyes are GLUED to the stage and out comes Kate, outfit changed and everything, with a band following her. Like...is her underwear not ruined enough from the dress do we have to add this too? Yelena is the first person she finds in the crowd and her face makes Kate chuckle on stage. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE...Kate doesn't just walk to a mic no no no no no OH NO she sits at the Baby Grand that's set up on the stage and Yelena is like "TRULY WHAT ALTERNATE DIMENSION HAVE I FALLEN INTO THAT THIS MESS OF A HUMAN NOW ALSO PLAYS THE FUCKING PIANO?!" And Kate just rips into it and the voice that comes out of her deadass knocks the air out of Yelena. If she wasn't in before she's in now.

Second song........Kate grabs........a guitar???? Listen, are we just fucking playing a prank on her here? Because there's just no way.

So this bitch has her moment and comes off stage and Yelena is looking at her bulgy eyes and Kate is deadass laughing cuz Yelena looks like she just got run over and came back to life. Before she even sits down she just...

"I can also play the violin and the drums. Parents were big on music, I was half good at it, and it got me out of the house so..."

Kate says with a shit eating smile on her face.

"Do you have any more earth shattering news you plan on dropping on me tonight?"

"No. No. I think I'm fresh out."

"What was that?!"

"That is the little circus performance my dad has me do at all of his weddings. I've heard that exact speech and sang those exact songs five times now. Everyone in this room who has been to the four other weddings must be so bored by it."

"I'm..."

"So impressed and in love with me and can't wait to get home so you can kiss me?"

"That's one way to put it."

#but yes hailee does exude natural dumb boyfriend energy #again...it's that incomplete fruit setting in her brain #she WAS meant to be the dumb boyfriend #they just fucked it up upstairs lol #kyfbau #anonymous #answers #kyfbaup

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nataliedanovelist · 3 years

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GF - Timestuck AU: The Power of Mabel ch.6

While fighting over a time machine so one twin can win a pig or the other can win the heart of a girl, Mabel is left stranded in a snowy forest with no time machine and no brother. Oops.

ch.5 - ch.7 (finale)

~~~~~~~~~~

The air was still quite nippy and crisp, but the afternoon sun sparkled on the white snow and made the atmosphere pleasant to stand in if the Main Sequence Star was shining directly on a living organism, like it was on Stan from where he stood on the porch. He sighed tiredly as he dug into his hoodie’s pocket for a fresh cigar and lit it with his Zippo-style lighter. He knew he probably shouldn’t smoke with a kid in the house, but after the few days he’s had, he needed and had well earned a smoke-break.

The door opened and Stan hid his cigar by his side, his right arm glued to his hip to hide the newcomer on his left, but when he saw it was an adult, he relaxed and took another puff. “M’trying to quit.” He mumbled.

Ford snickered. “Yeah, it looks like you’re trying really hard.”

“Don’t be shitty.” Stan said casually.

“Mind if I lend one? I can replenish you in a few minutes.”

Stan stared at his goody two-shoes of a twin and handed him a cigar and the lighter. “You smoke?”

“Not often. For a celebration or after a long day.” Ford answered as he lit his borrowed cigar. “Maybe twice a month. Thrice?”

“Huh.”

Ford looked down at the lighter in his hand, and he was surprised when he recognized it. He can clearly remember seeing the tiny silver box in a store and thinking Stanley would like it as a Only One More Year of High-School present. “I gave this to you.”

Stan smiled as he took it back and pocketed it. “Yeah, it’s a good lighter. Only needed to change the flint a few times.”

“Hey guys!” A small voice called from inside the house. “Do you like vanilla or chocolate?”

The twins looked at each other, smiled, and called back. “Both. Both is good!”

“Both it is!”

Stan chuckled and shook his head. “Knucklehead… I knew she had to be family just by looking at her!” He bragged proudly.

“I suppose I was too distracted by the fact that a cold girl was at my doorstep to recognize the family resemblance.” Ford reasoned, shrugging. “I wanted to make sure I did the right thing. I didn’t exactly feel like getting arrested for kidnapping.”

Stan barked a laugh. “Yeah, you got a good point.” The conman yawned and stretched his arms over his head. “Guess I’ll head out tomorrow.” He mentioned offhandedly.

Ford stared at him, a little saddened and disheartened by this fact that was news to him. “You’re leaving?”

“I mean, yeah?” Stan equally stared at his brother, confused and not daring to be hopeful, but still. “What?”

“I just…” Ford hesitated and busied his mouth by taking a hit of his cigar. With everything that has been said and how well he and Stan have been communicating, he really didn’t feel like ruining it now. He relaxed his shoulders and said with his eyes on the snowy woods. “I was really hoping you would stay.”

Stan looked dumbfounded, like a child discovering candy for the first time, but he looked away and down at the porch floor. “Oh.”

“I’ll of course be taking care of Mabel until Dipper comes back in time for her…”

“He might not.”

“We got over our grudges. They can do the same.” Ford said firmly. “Still, you have a point. Dipper might not be able to come back. Regardless, whether it’s for a short time, a long time, or for the rest of my life, I will take care of her. I might not be the best for her, I can acknowledge that…”

“C’mon, Sixer, don’t be like that.” Stan scolded lightly, giving a sympathetic look to the nerd. “What else can you do, y’know? There’s no way in hell you’re gonna give her up, I’ll kidnap her and run away to Canada before I let you…”

Ford laughed and waved a hand as he smiled. “No no, I promise I won’t.”

“Good.”

“The point is, she loves you. Clearly. And it takes two, and I’ll be busy with my research, especially once the snow melts and the anomalies become more active in the spring and summer, but…” Ford bit his lip. This was a bad idea. If he makes it seem that the only reason why Stan needs to be here is because of Mabel, if or when she’s gone, then Stan will have no reason to stay. And there were many reasons why Ford wanted Stan to stay.

Despite how much of a social-cripple Ford was, he knew that Stan was homeless. His frequent traveling and how full his car was right now was enough proof of that. And Ford hated that for his brother.

But there was another, bigger reason why Ford wanted Stan to stay. So he better just say it.

“Do you know why I went to Backupsmore?” Ford asked.

Stan’s facial expression darkened as he looked away and he shrugged. “Cuz I fucked up your project?”

“No,” Ford answered plainly. “I may not have been accepted into West Coast Tech, but there were so many other colleges that wanted me. I could apply to Yale or Harvard or any college from New York to California and instantly be accepted.

“But I didn’t.” The author added grimly. “Stanley, when you left… When you were gone, I was a mess. So many days I just lied in bed without meals or sleep. Ma was hysterical. I failed most of my exams and only barely scraped a C in the ones I didn’t fail. My GPA dropped significantly and I even lost my Honor Roll. Thankfully my past grades were enough to let me graduate with a 3.2, but my clean record was stained and a lot of prestigious colleges didn’t want me.

“All I wanted at that point was to get as far away from Glass Shard as possible. Luckily there was a small college outside of San Francisco that practically accepted everyone and had a wide range of studies to offer, so I applied and was accepted by graduation day.”

“Good for you.” Stan grunted.

“No! The point is, I…” Ford groaned, feeling like he was failing, but he had to try. “I understand if you don’t want to stay. I understand you have your own life and things you want to do, and I can live without you again if I have to, but… I really, really don’t want to. Yes, I know that part of growing up is going in different directions and being independent and all the other bells and whistles, but it doesn’t have to be. So, if you can tolerate living under the same roof as me again, and if you’re okay with it, I want to offer you a job.”

Stan raised an eyebrow at the six-fingered man. “What kinda job?”

“The committee gives me monthly boosts so I can continue my research. As long as I prove to them once a year that progress is being made, I have a good income coming in. It is a big job, exploring the large woods, climbing mountains and waterfalls, combing the lake, mapping the Enchanted Forest, and hunting down monsters and anomalies to learn more about them. I’ve always managed to make it out of trouble alright, but… I need a partner, and I want to keep it in the family.” Ford smiled at the last sentence.

“What are you saying?” Stan sneered, not daring to believe, not daring to hope, but that stupid smile Ford had…

“I’m saying I want you to do this with me, Stanley.” Ford said matter-of-factly. “I can share the grant with you after bills are paid and groceries are purchased. We can renovate the small room on the ground floor to be Mabel’s bedroom and you can have the entire attic as your own space.

“I know it’s not sailing around the world, but… Please. Will you give me another chance?” Ford pleaded with a soft smile.

Stan grinned and shook his head. “Shit, Sixer, you’re a better salesman than me.” He looked him in the eyes. “Okay. Yes. I’ll stay.”

Ford’s cheeks puffed with happiness as he smiled, his lips pressed together, and he looked ahead, happily daydreaming his future. Being surrounded by weirdness for a living was amazing by itself; doing it with his twin and raising their niece together on top of it was better than anything he could have imagined.

Stan was watching him and laughed good-naturedly, then held out a hand to him. Ford blinked at it like a startled owl, but then returned the smile and sealed the deal with a high-six.

Both brothers stood contently outside with their cigars for a minute, but then heard a bowl clatter on the floor. Mabel must be making a mess in the kitchen, which was fine.

What wasn’t fine was the sound that followed of a body falling on the floor.

Ford raised an eyebrow and called calmly, “Mabel, are you alright?”

They both expected a quick “yeah, sorry, I’m okay,” and maybe an explanation to follow, like she tripped getting down from a chair or something. But there was no reply.

“Mabel, sweetie?” Stan hollered, trying not to sound mad or scared or anything but cool-under-pressure, but this voice trembled with fear.

Still no answer.

Ford and Stan quickly discarded their cigars and bolted inside. Racing like children for cookies, they soon stood at the doorway of the kitchen and were horrified to find Mabel sprawled on the floor on her front, her hair scattered over her face to hide her expression, and her legs and bottom-half of her body slowly fading.

Literally. Fading. Mabel was fading away. She was disappearing like a stain on cloth.

“MABEL!” The men screamed and were immediately on their knees beside her. Ford scooped her up into his arms and felt her pulse and looked over her.

“What happened to her?!” Stan cried out. “Pumpkin, what’s wrong?!”

Ford’s eyes widened in panic as a horrifying realization slapped him in the face. “Mabel… You changed history.”

The tired girl nodded with her eyes closed. “If… If you guys had a fight… and never made up… in my timeline, then I guess…” Mabel paused to yawn tiredly. It didn’t hurt, but she was really sleepy now.“I guess that timeline doesn’t exist anymore, huh? I guess I don’t exist anymore.”

“WHAT?!” Stan yelled and took Mabel’s hand and squeezed it. “We have to do something! You’re family! You’re… We can’t just let you d- not exist!”

Ford held Mabel tighter and closer to his warm chest, making her smile. She swore she could hear his heartbeat. It was too fast. She would have to fix that. Poor Ford was also shaking like a leaf. Mabel could fix that, too.

“I’ll exist.” She smiled up at her uncles. “In a few years.”

Ford bit his lip. He shouldn’t ask this, it was probably dangerous to learn about the future, but the worst was already happening. What else could possibly happen that was worse than losing his girl? Ford couldn’t help but ask, “When?”

“August 31st, 1999.” Mabel’s eyes dazzled. “You’ll meet Dipper, too.” She shifted her eyes to only Stan and whispered, “Did you know you were there? You came to see us when we were born?”

Stan’s eyes watered as he smiled at the new piece of information. “I did?”

“You did. I came out first. You were so proud when I kicked the doctor in the jaw.”

Stan made a watery chuckle and wiped at his eye. “That’s my girl.”

“Dipper came next. He was blue. Umbilical cord wrapped around his neck.”

“Was he okay?” Stan asked.

“He was fine. You knew he would be. You never doubted.”

“I never will, pumpkin. I swear.”

The fading is now much worse. It was spreading over Mabel like a virus. Her legs were hardly visible to the naked eye, and even her shoulders were losing color. This Mabel is almost completely gone.

Ford, pressed for time, bit his lip as tears flooded his eyes and he cupped Mabel’s cheek and cradled her. “I… I can’t let you go! We just started to become a real family! Wh-What am I going to do without you?!”

Mabel smiled and used the free hand not holding Stan’s trembling hand to caress Ford’s jaw and lower cheek, then cupping his face so her fingertips grazed his sideburn. “It’s okay, really. I’ll see you again, and next time it’ll be when both of you come to see us. Totally worth it.”

Ford held his breath, and shut his eyes, a tear escaping from each eye and sitting comfortably in the corners of his windows to his soul. Stan hiccuped a laugh and rubbed her hand between both of his. Both of them were doing everything in their power not to cry.

To that, Mabel laughed and said, “Boys are stupid. It’s okay to cry.”

The cursed power of Mabel. Making people be honest and breaking dams.

Ford curled into his niece, his face sloe to her heart, and cried gently. He wasn’t ready, but he didn’t think he could ever be ready for this.

Stan laughed with tears streaming down his face and he kissed Mabel’s tiny fingers trapped in his hold, then held their hands close to his bowed forehead and just focused on feeling her pulse between his palms.

It only lasted another minute.

Ford was mortified when his chest sank and his arms were empty. He threw himself back and stared at his lap and felt sick to his stomach to find his little girl missing.

Stan’s hands also clasped together and he squeezed tightly, his fists against his trembling lips as he cried.

The genius who always seemed to know what to do didn’t have a damn clue what to do with himself. He growled in his throat, squeezing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth, then let out a painful howl and moan that most definitely disturbed birds and made a deer or two gallop farther away.

Ford removed his glasses and held his knees, sobbing his heart out. Stan blinked his tears off his eyes, resulting in them rolling down his face, as he watched his brother completely shatter to pieces. He had seen him upset before, sure; all those years of bullying, of Pa’s outbursts and sometimes physical punishments, hopelessness that he was actually worth something. You don’t spend seventeen years with a person and not see them break every so often, granted the blessing to help them put themselves back together again.

But Ford didn’t need Stan to swoop in and fix it. There were no bullies to punch or parents to stand against or jokes to crack that would make this okay. All Stan could do was throw his arms around him and bury his face into Ford’s shoulder and cry, too.

So that’s what they did on the kitchen floor for over an hour.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dipper blinked to try to see, but all he saw around him was inky blackness for miles. His heart raced as he looked around for his sister. “Mabel? Mabel! Mabel, answer me!”

The boy scrambled and collapsed out of a portable potty at the fair. He blinked his eyes rapidly to adjust to the sunlight, scurrying off his hands and knees, clutching the warm time-machine in his hands. Wendy was still admiring her price and Robbie was still sulking, and Waddles was still trying to get away from Pacifica.

That didn’t matter! Mabel was stranded back in time! But how far back?! When was Mabel?! Dipper started jamming the button, but the machine wasn’t working, and it was soon swiped from him by a black-gloved hand.

“Mason Pines,” A gruff voice commanded above him and Dipper looked up to find two new guys with that Blendin guy. The two other guys were muscular and guarded with high-tech armor.

“You are under arrest for violating the Time-Traveler's Code of Conduct and for jeopardizing the timestream.” The man labeled as Dundgren stated as serious as death.

“Do you have any idea how many rules you just broke?!” Blendin squawked. “I’m asking. I wasn’t there with you. It was probably a lot, right?”

“Wait, wait please!” Dipper begged as the two members of the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadrent each grabbed the boy by an arm. “My sister! She’s still back there! We have to get her!”

“You have the right to remain silent.” The man labeled as Lolph informed robotically. “Anything you say can and already has been used in the Court of Time-Law.”

“Let me go, Mabel needs-...” And Dipper and the three time-travelers were blasted forward in time.

~~~~~~~~~~

In the endless space of time, Dipper was levitated off the ground by a giant baby using the power of his forehead-hourglass to trap him in a baby-blue field. Members of the the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadrent circled the two, and Blendin stood with his arms crossed over his chest and smiling smugly as the kid who caused so much trouble was getting what he deserved.

“You and your sister have broken the eternal laws of space-time.”

“I’m sorry!” Dipper cried out, trying to fight the energy circling him, but it was futile. “I’m sorry! Do what you want to me, just help my sister!”

“Your sister does not require help, nor do you require punishment.” Time Baby informed as he held his feet. “You are lucky the events that occurred do not change anything drastically. However, your timeline has shifted and therefore this reality’s version of you and your sister are no longer viable and will cease to exist.”

“What?!” Dipper squeaked and looked down at his body to find his legs disappearing. “No no NO! What’s happening to me?!”

“You and your twin sister will be born again on August 31st, 1999, but too many things are different in your timeline for this version of you to continue to exist.”

“W-W-What did I do wrong?! What did I change?!” Dipper cried out as his whole body was drained of color. “What changed in our timeline?!”

“Your uncles have amended their bond thirty-four years ahead of schedule. As unfortunate as this is, your sister miraculously delayed the plans of Bill Cipher by an entire millennia.”

“What uncles?!” Dipper asked, panicked as the fading reached his neck. “Who’s Bill Cipher?!”

“If you wanted the answers you sought out, you should have been patient.” Time Baby scolded. “We all get the answers we seek… in time.”

“P-P-Please!” Dipper begged as he appeared as a ghost. “Please! What did Mabel do?!”

Time Baby cruelly stayed silent, testing Dipper’s strengths, but he was dying, anyways. Might as well.

“She met the Author of the Journals. Your missing uncle.”

Dipper’s eyes widened. “Mabel…” He rasped, and then he ceased to exist.

#GF #gravity falls #gravity falls au #timestuck au #fanfiction #stanford pines #stanley pines #mabel pines #dipper pines #angst #why did i write this?#cuz fuck you that's why #I HAD TO I’M SORRY #pls don't hate me

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fuckit-hero-of-trains · 3 years

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Sit by the fire until... Chapter 2

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25870150/chapters/81650737

Here’s the thing they don’t tell you when you get magically transformed into a bunny rabbit against your will by the corrupted darkness of the Sacred Realm: somethings, unfortunately, tend to stick.

Now, Legend isn’t saying that he’s hiding a cotton tail under his tunic or that his soul secretly aches to frolic in meadows or spend his time sleeping in holes or whatever else it is that rabbits do when they're not busy being very confused and scared twelve year old Hylians.

No.

But that doesn't mean he was left unscathed by having his entire anatomy re-written in less than an instant.

Because of course he wouldn’t. Goddess forbid he ever catch a break for once in his life.

He was still pretty young when it happened, so Legend can’t remember if his teeth had been quite so bucked before the incident. Regardless if they were or not, they sure as Hylia are prominent now. Then there's also the fact that he never really grew into his ears, the damn things always just a shade longer than they should be for a regular Hylian.

Before he joined this wild cucco chase masquerading as an adventure, Legend would sometimes catch himself looking at Ravio wondering, Is that how I would have looked? Besides the hair and eyes, the merchant was supposed to be his mirror image after all. Zelda and Hilda were, so it stood to reason that he and Ravio should be the same.

In which case, the bucktooth thing was going to be a problem regardless.

The ears, on the other hand, are a completely different story. From the quick glances Legend has managed to steal of Ravio’s side profile, the merchant has relatively short ears himself, which just make the Veteran’s own look comically long when the two stand side by side.

And ugh, and that wasn't even touching on his… less physical changes.

Namely, his cravings.

Noshing on some leafy greens while home alone doing some chores? A-Okay.

Getting caught by Warriors and Twilight absentmindedly chewing on the hay he was supposed to be feeding the horses? Ehhh, not so much.

Goddesses, his ego still hasn’t recovered from the amount of jokes the Pretty Boy had made at his expense. And that’s not even mentioning the veritable mountain of carrots he found in his bedroll, no doubt courtesy of that flea bitten farmhand.

Regardless of the less than natural way he got these… attributes, Legend couldn’t say they were all bad. ‘Cuz sure, his ears were a bit longer than average, but he could also hear better than most of his companions, able to catch the sound of crunching leaves above even their loud bickering. Like wise, his eyes were sharper than others in the low light of dawn and dusk, allowing him to see things others would miss.

Frankly, both skills had helped keep him alive during his quests. He was thankful for them in a weird huh, guess that works kinda way, but thankful all the same.

But sometimes Legend wanted to wring the goddesses necks because really? Being turned into a rabbit couldn’t have fixed this particular problem?

This particular problem being his absolutely horrible pollen allergies.

“ A-A-A!”

Each rapid, involuntary inhale feels like a simultaneous punch to the gut and a gasp for breath, the air yanked into his body and then stoppered up. It leaves the veteran in a state of limbo as a paralyzing calm falls over him; lungs full of air, shoulders hiked up, muscles tensed.

For a second, everything feels lodged in place, frozen, like the Champion had used his stasis rune on him.

And–

Legend clamps his mouth shut and tucks his face into his elbow just as tension snaps and–

“- acheew! ”

Nothing but a soft, cut off sneeze slips past his lips, yet, the force of holding it back still sends Legend bowing over. He stays there, hunched over for a breath as his body recovers, before he straightens back up, sniffing irritably as he tries to ignore the itch prickling at his eyes and the congested pressure throbbing behind his sinuses.

A chortling huff sounds next to him and when Legend glances down he can see Wolfie– or should he say, Twilight– peering up at him, mouth open and tongue lolling in a doggy grin, but icy blue eyes too pointed, too teasing, to be anything but human.

Legend's nose twitches tellingly as it begins to tickle again and the wolf gives another stuttering huff. A laugh. Legend can practically hear Twilight’s twangy, Awww. You sneeze like a bunny.

The bastard.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, dog boy,” Legend grumbles, wiping harshly at his face in an attempt to stave off another sneezing fit. “Don't you have trees to piss on or something?”

That earns him peeled back lips and a growl, but Legend just sends the other a responding sneer as strides past the grumpy wolf and out into the rolling field of tulips that stands in front of them.

Another huff, this one more annoyed than amused, sounds behind the veteran before the wolf streaks past him, loping through the flowers with his nose down and tail high.

Legend rolls his eyes.

Twilight loves to show his teeth, but the farmhand is quite literally all bark and no bite.

And besides, they both have better things to do than needle one another. If Legend is going to be miserable, he may as well take steps to make that misery as short as possible.

Afterall, they aren't out here swanning through a meadow of flowers for pleasure.

The last Dark Portal they had all walked through had, once again, separated them. Legend and Twilight were lucky enough to find one another quickly, though, now that Legend thinks about it, it probably had less to do with luck and more to do with Twilight’s nose.

After regrouping, they had tried to search for the others more that day, but a storm had them holed up in a cave overnight to wait out the deluge. They had gotten up early to start their search again today, but so far they had no such luck in finding any of the others in the forest.

Which just left the inexplicable meadow of tulips surrounding the wood.

Legend had been hoping that the rain would keep some of the pollen at bay, but nooo that would be too merciful, wouldn’t it?

If anything, the rain just made this whole experience more aggravating. Now, along with stinging eyes, a running nose, and a throbbing head, Legend also had the delightful honor of feeling the tulip stalks and leaves and petals sliding wetly across his skin, the annoying slap of his tunic smacking his thighs as it got more sodden by the second, and the disgusting squish of water between his toes with every step he took through this Wind Fish damned field.

And sure, maybe it was worth it to reunite with the other heroes, but really, would it kill the goddesses to make his life just a little bit easier.

A bark pulls Legend from his miserable musings. Twilight's dark tail stands out among the ocean of pastel pinks and yellows and oranges, wagging frantically twenty meters away. It disappears after a second, replaced by a muzzle and expectant eyes.

Twilight barks at him again.

He must have found something.

Finally, Legend thinks as he begins to make his way over toward the other, hopefully a reason to get out of this floral hell hole.

“What is it, boy?” Legend asks, voice going high and mocking as he takes delicate care stepping on as many flowers as possible, “Little Time-y fall down the well again?”

Instead of a growl for his effort, Legend gets a flurry of black flecks falling upward, like pieces of reverse snow, in his peripheral vision.

“You know,” Twilight says as he straightens to his full height, eyes half-lidded. Unamused, “You’re really not as funny as you seem to think you are.”

And before Legend can interrupt that– No, actually, you just have a dog shit sense of humor. Literally– Twilight continues, “I can smell the smithy all over this thing.” He nods down at a small tree stump breaking through the tide of flowers. “The scent is a bit old, probably from sometime before last evening, but still traceable. I should be able to find him from here.”

Legend eyes the stump for a moment, peering into the cracked hole in the top of the wood. Inside, he can see the round, red caps of several toadstools sprouting.

He can also sense magic. Close to that of the fairies– natural and glittering and smelling of moss– but not quite the same.

The Smithy’s doing?

Or a natural occurrence?

Regardless…

“Welp,” Legend says, straightening up, “Let's go find him. Couldn’t have gotten far on those little legs of his.”

“Again,” Twilight huffs, the black fractals already consuming him once more as he transforms, “You’re not as funny as you think...”

His voice distorts and fades into nothing as the magic swallows him whole, leaving Legend once again having a conversation with a very unimpressed looking wolf.

“I like you better when you can’t talk,” Legend tells Twilight as the other sets off, snuffling at the ground.

The other pauses to give Legend a look that would be more at home on a disapproving mother’s face, before continuing his tracking.

He also whaps Legend in the leg with his tail.

Hard.

The prick.

They continue on their trek together like that for a while, Twilight occasionally pausing to shove his nose into the dirt some more as he decides which direction to follow as Legend trails behind, keeping his eyes peeled for a quadripartite tunic and a head of straight, gold hair.

It isn't long before the farmhand turned canine breaks off into a light trot and then a jog, and then a full on sprint.

And stops just as suddenly.

Legend is out of breath by the time he slides to a stop behind the farmhand, but from a cursory glance around, there doesn’t seem to be a short, mouthy smithy anywhere in the vicinity.

“What happened?” Legend asks, still searching, turning circles as he cranes his neck, “Did you lose the trail?”

Twilight gives a light whine, grabbing Legend’s attention.

Then he does two full spins and sits primly, looking up at Legend.

“The hell is that supposed to mean?” Legend crinkles his nose at the canine. “Use your words.”

Wolfie rolls his eyes in a way that Legend didn’t think was possible for dogs and then stands.

The canine stares at him intently, as though making sure Legend’s eyes are locked with his own. And then he flicks his eyes over the yellow tulip he is sitting next to meaningfully. Then back to Legend. Back and forth back and forth, his eyes go for a full minute before he stops and stares at Legend once more.

Legend feels as his face wrinkles in confusion.

It's just a regular tulip, just like the thousands currently around them. Pretty enough, he supposes. The bulb seems to be a little wilted, like it's been weighed down by rain water perhaps, but other than that, nothing to sneeze at.

Or everything to sneeze at, if you’re Legend.

Legend gives the flower one more skeptical glance before turning to look at Twilight once more, brow raised.

“Pretty,” he assures the other. “Not sure how it helps us find Four.”

Twilight heaves another too human sigh.

And then he reaches up, takes the sleeve of Legend’s tunic between his teeth, and yanks.

“Hey!” Legend yelps as he’s dragged down into the dirt, “Watch the teeth! The embroidery on this thing took forever to do and even longer to enchant!”

Twilight pays him no mind, pulling him down and forward, closer to his chosen tulip.

Legend tries his best to keep his face away from the damn thing.

“I swear on The Three, if your slobber stains–”

Legend’s words crumple up and die in his throat.

There’s something in the tulip.

At first glance, Legend would identify it as the Smithy's earring. The small feathered one that he takes special care of. The one that Four refuses to tell Legend the origin of, besides his cryptic, “From a friend.”

Legend would say that it was just the earring, but… but it isn’t.

Rather than being completely red with a white tip, Legend can see that this little feather is only mostly red. Right before the tip, a darker red plumage takes over, followed by purple and blue and green.

Also, rather than being attached to the small, golden chain and stud Four uses to fasten the jewelry to his earlobe, it’s attached to a body.

A very, very small body.

By now, Twilight has let go of his sleeve, but Legend both doesn’t notice and doesnt care, all of his attention fixed on the little creature before his eyes.

From what he can tell, the little creature is asleep, curled up in the bulb of the flower, his feather tail tucked up near his nose for warmth. Looking past the plumage, Legend can see that the little guy has a very rat-like face, complete with a small, twitching pink nose, long whiskers and–because the creature is shivering– long, chattering rodent incisors. Oval shaped ears stick out from the creature's head, a mix between mouse-like and Hylian.

And framing those ears is shoulder length, soaking wet blonde hair.

Blonde hair held out of the little guy's face by a green headband.

And…

And he’s wearing the smithy’s tunic?

“... Four?” Legend whispers in amazement.

And just saying the other’s name out loud is like a spell because suddenly Legend can see all signs. The little guy has Four’s bag over his shoulder and the Four Sword at his hip. That same magic that was by the stump– the not-fairy, fairy magic– completely surrounds him, dusting him in the same way he is currently dusted in yellow pollen.

“Is that you, Smithy?” Legend asks a little louder.

But rather than startle awake, the small creature– Four, Legend reminds himself– simply hunkers down more fully into the flower, curling up more fully as his shivers increase.

“He must have transformed in order to speak with the Minish around here.”

Twilight’s voice, even though it is a whisper, gives Legend a start. He hadn’t realized the other had transformed, nor had he seen the farmhand crouch down by his side.

The other isn’t looking at him as he speaks, cool blue eyes instead locked on the fitfully sleeping smithy, face concerned.

“He once told me that the Minish are insatiable gossips. He must have transformed to try and find us.”

The concern on the farhand’s face darkens the longer he stares.

“He must have been caught out in the storm,” Twilight says grimly.

Legend tries to imagine what that would be like. To be the size of a mouse and out in a storm. Tries to imagine what it would feel like for gale force winds to pull at drag at him, crushing him into the dirt one moment and yanking off his feet the next. Tries to imagine dodging back and forth between tulips, avoiding the head sized, stone cold rain drops pelting down from the sky

It's not a pretty pictograph, he’ll admit.

And ugh, Legend really isn't a fan of what it's making him consider.

He spares another glance at Four.

And fuck, the little guy shivers and shivers and shivers until the fower he is sleeping in is shaking with it.

And then, he sneezes, the sound coming out tiny and squeaky and weak.

Son of a bitch.

With a sigh that is as weary and reluctant and annoyed as he can possibly force it to be even though the vetran is feeling none of those things, Legend takes hold of the flower near its stem. As gently as possible, he digs his nails into the soft green there, cutting the flower from the ground while keeping it intact.

He hands it to Twilight, who takes it from him with gentle, if slightly confused hands.

With one hand, Legend flips open his shoulder bag. With the other, he rips his hat from his head with a motion probably a tad more violent than is really called for. He arranges the hat inside the bag, making sure to cover his items with the soft fabric while also shaping a soft bed.

Without looking up from his work, Legend extends a hand out to Twilight.

Makes a grabbing motion when what he wants isn't immediately in his hand.

After a second, Twilight slowly places the stem of the flower back in Legend’s hand and the Veteran gently lowers it in the small nest he had created, making sure the bulb sits in a place both shielded from the sun and extra comfortable thanks to the extra fabric padding beneath it.

In one smooth motion, Legend takes a hold of the strap of his bag, pulls it carefully off of his shoulder, and places it on the other side of Twilight’s neck.

And then, he reaches down and touches the dark stone hanging from the necklace around the farmhand’s throat, letting the darkness flock around and consume him.

When Legend blinks open his eyes, Twilight is looking down at him smugly.

He is looking down farther than usual.

Also looking smugger than usual.

“Shut up,” he grumbles, shaking out his fur before hopping on all fours to get closer to the bag.

“I didn’t say anything,” Twilight replies, not bothing to wipe the smug look off his stupid face even as he lowers the bag to the ground for easier access.

“Yeah you did,” Legend hisses quietly as he clambers carefully into the satchel, settling down the nest of leather and items and hat.

He pulls the flower closer to his side where it is warm.

Inside, he can feel as Four’s shivers begin to lessen.

"Cute," Twilight laughs from above them.

"Fuck you," Legend whisper spits, though he makes no move to push Four's flower away. If anything, he pulls it closer when he hears the smaller hero start to make small, chittering snores, surprised the smithy could sleep through such a racket.

Twilight, thankfully, doesn't comment, instead pulling the top of the bag loosely closed to give them some shade. Then, Legend feels as he gently lifts the satchel back up, slings it slowly over his shoulder as to not disturb the contents inside, and begins walking, hopefully back in the direction of the forest.

Legend can still hear the farmhand laughing to himself from within the bag, but without the others' eyes on him, he finds he doesn't care.

The pollen still itches at his eyes and nose and Legend can still feel the pound of his sinuses even now. But something about the shade and warmth and soft rocking of the bag makes it hard for him to mind.

Four gives a harty twitch, kicking a petal directly into Legend’s face.

And even that doesn't dissuade the veteran from his task.

Instead, Legend sighs and pulls Four even closer, relaxing despite the discomfort.

He’s got dirt on both Twilight and now Four, the two heroes with sticks most firmly inserted into their asses. He can get out of whatever chores and lectures they try to pin him with.

Yep, he thinks , distantly. That's why he did this.

For the blackmail.

And no other reason.

#yes this is the live write that started the whole sneet thing #I write fluff and thats the thanks I get for it /j #lu legend #lu twilight #lu four #reluctantly soft legend is such a mood #I adore it #also #the image of minish four curled up asleep in a tulip made me go feral #so I had to share it with others #train writes #linked universe #linkeduniverse

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cielcius · 3 years

Note

OMG HI but can i request a hc where bakugo, kiri, shoto, denki, and shinso (im sorry if thats a lot) BUT them reacting to reader who like transforms into a fairy for their quirk kinda like the winx for the first time❣️

S/O WITH A FAIRY QUIRK | HEADCANONS

includes: bakugou k., kaminari d., kirishima e., shinsou h., & todoroki s.

from the writer: ah hello dear! dw about it I loved writing this and omg I completely forgot about Winx :O haha anyways, I hope u enjoy and thank u for requesting :) have a lovely day/evening!

notes & warnings: cursing, pretty is gender neutral, reader’s quirk has a long transformation and sparkles

Bakugou:

you confuse him. a lot. and it’s so fucking funny, he’s like “why are you fucking sparkling?” the moment you activate your quirk

omg yk how like they have the sparkly transformations too where it takes FOREVER and it’s really flashy n stuff, he’s gonna be standing there watching you like🧍‍♂️

“we don’t have time for your sparkle glitter shit, dumbass.”

obviously, he’s never even watched Winx 🙄 or Sailor Moon for that matter which is honestly surprising but he just doesn’t know the confidence boosts that your quirk gives you (and he never will cuz who knows what will happen to his ego then)

he thinks you look really pretty though O_O but honey, you need to find a way to speed up that transformation, the villain ain’t gonna wait for you to finish and Bakugou won’t either but he actually will

Kaminari:

his eyes look like the fricken galaxy when you transform because there's so many stars in them from just looking at you and the sparkles from your quirk just add onto it

he really likes to watch you activate your quirk and transform every time because you just look so pretty 🥰 and he will try to touch your wings at least once

“can I touch it?” make sure nobody else is around because of how out of context that is lmao

let’s say your outfit is a bit showy, bby is going to pout a bit because he doesn’t want the world to see you but at the same time he thinks you look really good and he vowed to never stop complimenting you for the rest of his life (you’re stuck with him forever, good luck)

and not only are you fine as hell but you’re also powerful as hell so whenever you’re fighting, you know he’s just gonna be like 👀

Kirishima:

he’s shell-shocked and neither of you have any idea on how to get him out of it so he just stands and stares. you have to wait a good minute before he’s like

“I can’t believe that you’re actually my s/o”

yes, you have been dating for a while now but no, he will never get over your many sides that are all more beautiful than the last

he kinda likes looking at the design of your wings, it really entrances him (if you flutter your wings while he’s staring at them, its guaranteed to make him blush, I don’t make the rules)

your wings kinda leave little sparkles which is a bit messy but he sees it as the perfect opportunity to just have a little sparkle fight and now you both have to spend your free time cleaning up the sparkles in the gym 😐

Shinsou:

straight up has to close his eyes because your transformation its so fricken bright, its like he’s looking at the sun (well, you are the sun in his life so...😗)

and then he opens them and tada! there are your pretty wings that he just learns to adore on the spot cause they look so cute on you (but like bakugou, he’s not sure if its worth the long ass transformation)

he’s not as good as showing pda or just outwardly being expressive so the most you’ll get is a soft smile that disappears after 0.2 seconds and

“that’s my pretty baby”

if you try to point out that he smiled, he’s just gonna be like: no you didn’t ❤️ its the glitter (his smile really said: I’m not here, I'm a hallucination baby)

Todoroki:

you already know that he’s on that Sailor Moon shit cause that was the only thing Fuyumi knew how to put on the tv for him when he was little

he’s lowkey fanboying at your transformation but of course he’s not gonna show it (mostly because he physically doesn’t know how to express it)

he really likes your transformation though, even if its a bit long but that’s okay, you’re still you in the end and you is pretty so don’t you dare say otherwise >:(

“that’s a lot of sparkles....and glitter”

his hero suit looks like a six year old’s craft project half of the time when you’re training because he’s secretly clingy when you transform and doesn’t want to let you go :(

#tea stained letters 🍵#bakugou katsuki x reader #kaminari denki x reader #kirishima eijirou x reader #shinsou hitoshi x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #shinsou hitoshi #todoroki shouto #bakugou x reader #kaminari x reader #kirishima x reader #shinsou x reader #todoroki x reader

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mizunetzu · 4 years

Note

I just skipped school and binge read all of your fanfics- They’re really good gRRRRrrr 🥺🥺 Keep up the good work!! That being said- Can I request a fluffy Hawks x male reader where the reader has a cold and is stuck in bed and Hawks takes care of him? Thank you vv much!!!

HAHHAHA WHY IS ALL MY HAWKS REQUESTS ALWAYS FLUFF (I mean ur like my second one but it’s still flufF) (and not that this wasn’t fun to write cuz it was HAAHA I’m lowkey proud)

(Also gRRRRur so nice but GO TO SCHOOL >:( BARK BARKK BAEKR)

——————

Hawks x reader - The Sick Fic

⚠️warnings - it’s as the title says. It’s the sick fic.

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

(Y/n) coughed up sticky red blood.

“Y-yeah, no. I don’t think I can patrol today, Yusha-san. The villain from yesterday activated their quirk on me-and I’m feeling a bit sick.”

Yusha, the secretary to the (L/n) hero agency, typed something down on his computer. “Is it something we should be concerned about?”

“No.” (Y/n) croaked out with a chuckle. “Their quirk isn’t really dangerous, but it did make me a bit sick. It’ll pass, don’t worry.”

“Ok. I’ll send in one of your sidekicks to patrol with Hawks-san today.” More typing from across the phone. (Y/n) pursed his lips.

“U-uh,”

“Don’t worry. I’m sending a male sidekick.” Yusha practically read his mind. (Y/n) didn’t want any stupid girls hitting on his stupid, popular, pro-hero patrol buddy boyfriend.

“Thank you, Yusha-san.”

“It’s nothing. Get some rest, (H/n). We expect you to show up tomorrow.” Yusha ended up before (Y/n) could even say goodbye. He lazily dropped his phone onto his bedside table, burying himself under his bedsheets as best as he could. Just as he was getting comfy, the urge to cough up more blood kicked him in the stomach.

He flung himself over his bed, practically shoving his head into the small waste bin under his bedside table. He wiped his mouth with his forearm after hacking up more blood, his head suddenly feeling hazy and jumbled.

He groaned, and got under the bedsheets once more. The world seemed to be against him today, as another distraction forced him out from his beauty sleep.

His phone buzzed once. Twice. Then the annoying, overlapping ring of multiple messages being spammed buzzed out his phone, making (Y/n) cover his ears with his pillow.

Annoyed, he patted around the side table til’ his hand landed on his phone, pulling it towards him and under the sheets.

‘Keigo 🍗 - where r u :(‘

‘Keigo 🍗 - who’s this...rando dude patrolling wit me :(((‘

‘Keigo 🍗 - r u asleep or smth’

‘Keigo 🍗 - wake up ur late to patrol and I need my yakitori addiction funded today’

‘Keigo 🍗 - DUDE’

‘Keigo 🍗 - BBBBBBBBBB’

‘Keigo 🍗 - IM NOT GONNA STOP SPAMMING U TILL U ANSWER ME OR SHOW UP AN PATROL WITH ME >:(((‘

(Y/n) sighed. He opened the messages, meaning that Keigo would get the ‘message read’ notification, but he couldn’t care less. Tossing the phone lazily on the table, he muted the messages app.

———

(Y/n) stirred in his sleep when he heard tapping on his bedroom window. (Y/n) opened his sticky eyes, barely open enough to see a blurry red object tapping against the glass frame. Eventually, the object halted, gave up, and swooped down and out of sight. He shrugged.

Just as he closed his eyes, more pelting came from the window, this time louder and heavier. (Y/n) snapped his eyes open, flinging himself out of bed, and getting ready to activate his quirk.

He visibly relaxed when he saw the huge red wings tapping outside the window, with a certain hero crouching down, looking at him sheepishly and trying to pick open the window lock. The man waved with an embarrassed smile, his feathers following suit.

“Keigo Takami. What the fuck are you doing in my house.”

The man, Keigo Takami, chuckled awkwardly while (y/n) undid the clasps on his window. He stepped back, allowing him to worm his way in through the small window.

Keigo paused, half way squeezed in with his wings stuck in the cramped window frame. He was stuck. “Y...you need to buy a bigger window-“

“Are you dumb?” (Y/n) chuckled, the sight of Pro Hero Hawks, man who could pull absolute pussy, bent over his bedroom window, stuck with his wings awkwardly fluttering in place. “Just, I don’t know, send your feathers off until they’re small enough to fit you in.”

Keigo had a wave of realization. This man had no braincells whatsoever. “...oh, haha, you’re so smart~”

One by one, feathers jutted out from his back, each floating either inside (Y/n’s) room or outside the window. Once all of them were off, and his back were relatively empty, he tumbled ever-so-gracefully inside the room. He stood up, his wings rebuilding themselves in seconds, and did an awful curtsy.

“Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all day to take care of my sick patrol partner who do happens to be my boyfriend,”

“Speaking of patrol -what happened to patrol? A-and the dude you should be patrolling with? You should be out by n-“

A sharp, piercing pain shot through (Y/n’s) head. Now that the adrenaline from Hawks pounding on his window was subsiding, he seemed to remember how much his head was hurting.

He fumbled down, catching himself on the foot of his bed while Keigo lurched forward. “You good?” He mumbled, taking off his black wool glove.

He rested the back of his palm on (Y/n’s) forehead, before signing uncontently and replacing his hand with his lips. Even if he was burning up, (Y/n) froze.

After a while, Keigo drew his head back. “You’re burning up...”

Silence. Hawks awkwardly chuckled and played it off by running his hand through his hair.

“Lips are more sensitive than hands are-so I was just...you need to get to bed!” Keigo quickly stood up, gently ushering the sick hero to his bed. Pulling up the thick-set covers, Keigo hazily tosses his jacket to the corner and discarded his other glove.

“Try and get some rest. Did that dude’s quirk from yesterday do this?” He got a nod in response. “Alright. I’m gonna go change and get you some shit.”

With that and a warm smile, Keigo disappeared through the bedroom door. (Y/n) followed him with his eyes, right before he was out of sight, then let his eyes droop close.

———

“Pssst.”

A finger poked at (Y/n’s) cheek. He grumbled, furrowing his brows and keeping his eyes screwed shut. He heard a sigh from somewhere above him.

Something feathery tickled him from underneath his nose. He scrunched his nose up, expecting the odd feeling to go away, before feeling a sneeze build up. The watery feeling course through his nose before his head shot up every-so-slightly to let out a weak “Achoo!”

Keigo snickered. (Y/n) finally opened his eyes. Keigo was sitting beside him, now in casual clothes, holding a convince store bag and a red feather. The feather flew out of his hand and stuck itself on his back.

“Sorry I was out for so long. You didn’t have jack shit in your house, so I bought some medicine and takeout since I know you won’t eat soup and I can’t cook.”

It was true. The only thing Pro Hero Hawks is allowed to do is heat up a hotdog, and even then he might break the microwave. And (Y/n) won’t eat soup he made if his life depended on it. If he can’t even turn on the stove, what makes you think that he’d drink a whole bowl of soup made by him and not die?

“Whad’ja get?” (Y/n’s) voice came out more gravely and deep than he expected. Under different circumstances, that would’ve been kinda hot. Keigo pulled out things one by one from the bag.

“Ok so, I got painkillers, a cooling pack, a heating pad just in case your stomach starts hurting, a thermometer, and I found these cool matching red bird keychains and I bought them on impulse. One for you and one for me~ I also bought 2 beef bowls”

Keigo layed all the items down either on the bed or on the table beside it, holding up the keychains last. Shaking them around a bit, turns out there was a small bell inside both of them. (Y/n) tried, and failed, to hide his growing smile.

Keigo placed the cooling pack on (Y/n’s) previously burning forehead. The sudden coldness forced an involuntary groan from the bed sick male. He chuckled.

“Sorry. Deal with that for awhile and I’ll feed you~” Hawks saddled up in the spot next to him, holding the two plastic bowls and worming his way underneath the covers. He placed the food down on his lap and switched on the tv.

They sat in silence, the only thing being the sounds of the tv filling the room with the occasional reaction or snicker from the two. Keigo alternated between shoveling a forkful of rice and beef into his mouth, then feeding his boyfriend and carefully making sure none spilled onto his bed. The news reporter droned on onscreen, their voice being tuned out by the two hero’s.

“By the way, Keigo,” (Y/n) started, once he swallowed his food. Keigo gave a hum of acknowledgment, holding up a finger to (y/n), then to his mouth until he finished chewing. Thickly swallowing, Keigo hummed again.

“You were supposed to patrol today. With one of my sidekicks. What happened to that?”

Keigo looked at (Y/n), before looking back at the tv so causally. For a while he said nothing, until he opened his mouth.

“I ditched.”

(Y/n) made a sputtering noise. His shock turned into a long string of hacks and coughs, which Keigo waited ever-so-patiently for him to calm down from. “You ditched?! Keigo, you’re the no. 2 hero! You can’t be caught ditching!”

“Relaaaaax,” Keigo leaned farther into the bed cushions. “I told my agency and your stupid sidekick man that I was gonna check on you. It was a valid excuse.”

“Still!” (Y/n) rubbed at his temples. Hawks shoveled another forkful of food into his mouth. “You’re sitting here watching tv with me instead of working!”

“I needed a break. Plus,” Keigo held up his unfinished bowl of food defensively.

“I can’t believe you.”

“I love you too~”

(Y/n) sighed.

“I hope you get sick.” Hawks chuckled, saying something about being immune to all sicknesses.

Needless to say, (y/n) was patrolling with one of Keigos sidekicks the next day.

——————

#bnha hawks #hawks x reader #wing hero hawks #hawksbnha #mha hawks #keigo x reader #keigo takami #hawks x male reader #keigo x male reader #bnha x male reader #bnha x reader #mha x male reader #bnha male reader #my hero academia hawks

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harringrovetrashrat · 4 years

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(We discussed this a lot in the discord, so props to the gang for this. A group effort, it was. Here are my musings about that Hocus Pocus AU. Tagging @ihni and @pondermoniums just uh,,, cuz y’all were interested in this kinda thing 👀)

So obviously Billy is Max and Max is Dani (lol). Like, obviously.

And they’ve moved and Billy is just over it because this town is boring, these people are boring, and who takes Halloween this seriously anymore besides fucking nerds and kids? A whole town being into it? Like, what fucking even.

And witches??? Really??? Fucking please. Billy knows there’s no such thing. Knows that these people are just whirled up in some sort of town wide fantasy. And he definitely says as much. Gets in trouble for it, too. But, it does get someone to notice him.

The only thing Billy’s even remotely enjoyed in this town is Steve Harrington. Rich prep boy with really soft looking hair and big eyes that Billy just wants to stare into for ages and long fingers and that pale skin. Steve is snickering as Billy gets his talking to, rolling his eyes with a smile when Billy shoots him a wink.

Billy leaves on Halloween ready to hole up at home and ignore everyone and everything, especially his annoying brat of a sister. Of course, on the way home, he runs into Tommy and Adam. (Tommy is ICE, I don’t make the rules.) And they’re all Hey, California, nice jacket/earring/etc. Billy barely entertains it, considers popping Tommy in the jaw, but instead he just skates home. Goes up to his room and flops onto the bed.

“Steve,” he murmurs. “Steve Harrington with the delicious peach.” Billy sighs, dragging his hands over his face. “And what a peach…”

“Boo!” Max jumps outta his closet and Billy jack knifes on the bed before jerking up, red faced.

“MAX! I told you not to come in my fucking room!”

“Yeah, whatever. Mom said you have to take me trick or treating.” Billy scoffs.

“No fucking way.”

“She’s going to a party hosted by the mayor--”

“Don’t care--”

“--And she doesn’t want me to go alone, even though I could--”

“Still don’t care--”

“--And I need someone to carry my haul--”

“How is this my problem?” And Max snaps her mouth shut, glaring, before opening her mouth and,

“MOM!”

(Susan moved Billy and Max here to get away from Neil and that’s that on that mmkay)

Needless to say, Billy has a hoodie under his jacket with the hood pulled up because he cannot be seen carting his sister around to trick or treat. How lame. Gets shit from Tommy and Adam, who try to steal Max’s candy, but get a broom to the crotch. Max ain’t playing around, and while she doesn’t need Billy to protect her, he kinda can’t help it. Pops one of ‘em in the eye and bolts, Max cackling as she follows him. And they keep on going, Billy’s hood down now at least, before getting to this massive house with a party. And Max knocks and Billy stands behind her, staring off, when suddenly,

“Well, if it isn’t Mr. I-Hate-Halloween.” And Billy’s head whips around and Steve is there in some fancy ass Victorian garb all ruffles and coiffed hair and tight fucking breeches--

“Harrington, right?” Cuz Billy’s gotta play it casual. Gotta be cool. And Max raises a brow, smirking, as Steve hands her a lollipop and stands there, biting his lip before asking,

“Wanna come in for a bit? This party is fucking boring.” And Billy isn’t gonna look a gift horse in the mouth. Max frowns.

“But--”

“I’ll let you take as much candy as you want,” Steve offers, face only lightly flushed. Max shoots in the house, grabbing fistfuls from the frankly enormous bowl of candy. Billy steps in, hands in his pockets. He looks around giving a low whistle.

“Well well, Harrington,” Billy says. “Fancy ass home you’ve got here.”

“I mean-- It’s my parents’ place. Technically.” Steve scratches his nose and Max comes over. “That’s a pretty dope witch costume.”

“Thanks,” she replies. “I like yours. Billy likes, now wait,” she hums, licking the lollipop, “What did you call it? His peach?” And Billy goes red, hissing,

“Maxine!” Whilst Steve is confused as hell. Max presses on.

“Billy really likes--”

“So, you all really believe in the Sanderson sisters?” Billy says, loud and over Max, who kicks him in the shin while he shoves at her to move away. Steve just kinda… goes with the flow of these two.

“I mean, yeah. I’ve been to the museum loads of times, and that book of spells is legitimately the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen.” Steve shuffles a little, glances into the ballroom, before seemingly making up his mind. “You wanna go?” Billy raises a brow.

“You thinking about breaking in, pretty boy?” His tongue pokes from between his teeth as he grins, ignoring Max rolling her eyes.

“Is it breaking in if I have a key?” Steve smirks. “My parents technically own it, so…” He shrugs and Billy smiles so he doesn’t do something stupid like say something mushy in front of Max.

“Well, grab that key then, Richie Rich.” And Steve grumbles it’s my parents’ money, jeez before going upstairs.

“I’ll be back in a jiffy.” And once he disappears Max elbows Billy in the gut.

“What the hell, shithead?” Billy hisses.

“You’re so fucking obvious,” she says with a grin. “Pretty boy? Like, come on.” And Billy ignores her, thank you.

So they go, and Billy and Steve are flirting almost obnoxiously, and Max is so over it, but when they get to the house, they all kinda feel the weird energy. Billy of course, keeps trying to play it off. Keeps being a little shit. Asks if he should light the candle.

“Come on,” he leers. “Not like anything’ll happen.”

“I dunno,” Steve replies, biting his lip.

“You’re so gonna summon them, Billy. You’re a virgin.” And wow Max, no need to call him out like that. And Billy goes red before flicking open his zippo and lighting the candle.

Which. Bad idea.

(Now, you can imagine the sisters the same, or as Joyce (Winnie), Karen (Sarah), and Claudia (Mary). Which ever speaks the most to you. Cuz then Zombie Billy could be Hopper. Or Bob if you want I suppose. I’m going with keeping them the same for now cuz I’m a lazy bastard.

Thackery and Emily are Jonathan and Will, I don’t make the rules.)

ANYWAY

The rest pretty much goes the same, with a lot more teasing between Steve and Billy. And Max being so over these boys. Jonathan is too, honestly, and he’s constantly swiping at Billy to get him to stop being an asshole. Steve thinks it’s cute. Billy does not.

No one listens to Billy cuz, well, he looks like a delinquent whose gonna make jokes. Steve’s parents ignore him, and everyone knows it, so obviously he’s probably doing it for attention. And well, Susan is having fun getting to know a lovely and kind man at the party (maybe this is Bob), so she’s just a lil’ distracted.

When they get to the graveyard, and Sarah tries to flirt with Billy, tries to coerce him into giving them his life force, Steve chucks some rocks, furious and jealous, like the brat he is. Says,

“You’re barking up the wrong tree, Witch Bitch!” And Billy’s already infatuated, but now he’s in love. Steve’s got that spark, that fire, and Billy kinda maybe likes a guy who can hold his own. Billy deals with Winnie, Steve and Max deal with the other two.

At the end, once Zombie Billy’s back in his grave, the witches are gone, kaput, and Jonathan has reunited with will, Steve, Billy, and Max find themselves on a bench, exhausted. And Max maybe says,

“I’m ready to go home. Steve, wanna come for breakfast?” And well, it’s not like his parents are gonna be up anytime soon, or will notice him being gone at all, so he says yes. “Awesome. Billy makes really good pancakes. Plus, even though we don’t have a guest room, I’m sure Billy will let you take his bed.”

“Maxine!”

Or well,,,, something like that.

#stranger things #harringrove #steve harrington #Billy Hargrove #max mayfield #hocus pocus au #musings

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wovenstarlight · 3 years

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YWBK update: chapter 26 + liner notes

yesterday will be kinder has updated! you can read chapter 26 here, or start from the beginning here

as always, commentary below the cut

Yoojin🐉😊

watch this space....

In preparation for it, Han Hyunjae temporarily requisitions Yoojin’s laptop and combs through the internet looking for photos of the Hunters that he thinks his family should know about in advance. He goes down one too many internet rabbit-holes, takes way too many screenshots, transcribes a summary of the notes in his future diary, then painstakingly puts everything together into a neat little presentation for them.

picture HHJ reading his fifth article wondering where the sung family heir has disappeared to and being like 👁️👁️👁️👁️

had a little giggle to myself about “future diary” that phrasing was definitely on purpose. will exclusively be referring to it as this now

“Right,” he starts, clapping his hands together, after Yerim’s been sent off to play with Hohyoung.

LHH is so much of a background figure.... i want to see more of himself but he likes his privacy.... he’s got his girlfriend and his baby sister and yoojin who’s wormed his way into his good graces by way of Living In Same House but that’s kinda it....... he’s always lurking in the background instead of showing up on screen. come here hohyoung oppa i just wanna talk

Even if Yoojin’s right, Han Hyunjae still has to protest. [...] But he can’t keep it up when Jiyeon looks at him like that.

KJY has the world’s best Stern Mom Voice and Disappointed Mom Glare and to her great delight they work even on fellow adult HHJ. she will use this power For Evil

The other S-ranks are Moon Hyuna, leader of Breaker Guild, and Bak Mingyu of Hanshin Guild.

OK FOR THIS PART I STRAIGHT FORGOT ABOUT HANSHIN GUILD AND I WAS COUNTING UP ON MY FINGERS LIKE WAIT... IF YERIM WAS THE EIGHTH KOREAN S-RANK WHO WERE THE SEVEN BEFORE HER.... (for those curious they were 1. sung hyunjae, 2. han yoohyun, 3. moon hyuna, 4. song taewon, 5. bak mingyu of hanshin, 6. choi sukwon of MKC, and 7. yoon kyeongsoo of soodam. but. i forgot about the last three altogether.)

“Oh, blond guy,” Yoojin says, unimpressed. “Yeah, I’ve seen him on the news and stuff.”

Top 10 Funny Yoojin Moments (I JUST THINK IT’D BE REALLY FUNNY IF HAN “HAVE I MENTIONED IN THE LAST 5 MINUTES HOW HANDSOME SUNG HYUNJAE IS” YOOJIN DID NOT GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT HIM IN THIS TIMELINE....)

Han Hyunjae takes a moment to double-check that he really doesn’t have Noise Resistance (L), and looks back in time to see Yoojin rubbing at his eyes and glaring at the screen.

HEHEHE...... A SECRET TOOL THAT WILL HELP US LATER

“Hyunjae-yah,” Jiyeon says, looking at the photo of Sung Hyunjae on screen, “this man looks—” “LIKE A PIECE OF WHITE BREAD,” Yoojin bellows. [...] “HYUNG THINKS HE LOOKS GOOD? [...] Oh, god, he kinda does, [...] but like, in a trashy romance novel cover way.” [... Jiyeon] gives the computer screen an assessing once-over. “He looks like the models in cologne advertisements.”

this part of the chapter was planned waaaay back in august 2020 and i actually crowdfunded these descriptions from the s-class server dshblksjdfkblsdfb. the original suggestions (thanks to server members for these):

“bland whitie potato with a slap-on seme personality”

“tacky valentine’s day/mom’s cologne advertisement”

“the face of the dude on the cover of all my mom’s trashy romance novels”

and tbh HYJ does think he genuinely looks good but like, disgustingly good, you know... also Hyung Likes Him so [19 gun emojis]

also me handwaving moment of mild homophobia because like. jiyeon doesn’t know yet AND homophobia is a thing in this world BUT i don’t really wanna do, All That (we already did it with HYJ once), so.

“Do S-ranks get rich?” Yerim asks as she enters, because apparently everyone’s coming for his life today. Han Hyunjae closes his eyes and lies down on the bed while Yoohyun calls out an affirmation over his head. “Then I think— oh! He looks nice!” He cracks open an eye just in time to see her nod. “I think ahjussi should marry him for the eye candy and the money.” She beams very wide. Han Hyunjae closes his eyes again and tunes out the loud conversation going on around him. And wishes, not for the first time, that he’d picked literally any other name when he first got here.

yerim says gay rights cuz she’s like 12 rn and she straight up does not really care. but says it in, like, the most frustrating way possible.

sometimes you just need to lie down even as the world keeps throwing shit at you. just lie down and nap for a little bit. especially when the shit in question is the alias regret you had literally back in chapter one of your 25+ chapter story. this is gonna come back to bite you in the ass Very Fucking Soon babe!!!!

You Oh this is like the 17th one I got wrong I swear this course is trying to kill me

me, flicking on that EPSON brand projector,

(i have. been having a Time of it.)

[Yoojin🐉😊 called you (21:35)]

that’s minutes and seconds babey... you can pretty much guess the content of call from context :(

well, uh. most of call. some internal plot and Realizations happening right at the end of those 21 minutes, 35 seconds. namely:

Yoojin🐉❤️

:-)

or i dunno you can be my roommate and we can both leech off my rich and prosperous baby brother!

[extremely sad voice] heehoo... they... care each other....

YMW’s parents are kinda shit ngl. they care about him, but unfortunately, that does not show through in their care for him, ykwim? if they just paid attention to what he was actually talented at and encouraged him in his efforts.................

well, he wouldn’t have met HYJ in canon. but he would also have been a lot happier!! and YMW deserves to be happy!!!!!!!! YMW fucking rights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You When you came with me to drop off Jihui’s standee.

they finally remembered her name sjfbklsjdfbl

Yoojin🐉❤️ OH right i was talking to one of my new commissioners about their piece realized they were an old friend of hyung’s

HEEHOO.... HONKS MY LITTLE CLOWN NOSE yoojin forgot to ask about pronouns but that’s okay they’re figuring that stuff out still

Yoojin🐉❤️ it’s getting late the kids are going to bed i have to turn off the lights

you can take the caregiver out the role of caregiving but he will still think of his baby siblings as his kids

Part of that is changing his behaviour. Hyunjae and Yoojin sit side by side and watch as Suk Simyeong gently coaches Yoohyun on how to interact with others and present a neutral, if not friendly, exterior.

[same voice as ingredience] neurodivergence.....

try and look them in the eye, or at least look somewhere on or near their face, if eye contact is too much

yoohyun, who’s the type to look people in the eye without blinking until they inevitably look away because then they don’t try that eye contact shit again later:

tbh i kinda made up shit for the Training In Formality section i don’t know shit about being Formal and Polite. hope i got it right :pensive:

“He’s not good with touch,” Hyunjae cuts in. [...] “Sorry,” [Yoojin] says apologetically to Suk Simyeong, crossing the room and gently pressing a hand against Yoohyun’s back. The kid slowly stops rocking and leans into the touch as he talks.

he’s not good with touch, Usually..... there are exceptions :-) every time i think about this being canon i go insane. wow. love and trust and faith.

Suk Simyeong nods understandingly, giving the closed door a considering look. “If that’s the case, perhaps he can take over part of the preparations,” he offers.

SSM who’s frothing at the mouth wanting to know more about this dude who apparently did some killer business deal with the head of Dungeon Task Force who all the dungeon people are gossiping about on their phone calls while they cart around unassuming A-rank businessmen: PLEEAAASEE fucking involve him PLEEEEASE make him involve himself in business with me

Still, Yoojin’s work is fairly repetitive and boring, so Hyunjae and the women pull out a pack of UNO cards from somewhere and start playing while he works, not paying much attention to either of the boys.

plugging my Han/Bak family playing UNO art here, please reblog like and subscribe,

He stares down at Yoohyun’s hair. Yoohyun’s wavy hair sits there judgmentally. Yoojin bemoans his budding career as a stylist and admits, “This… isn’t working.”

i’m sorry sweetie... hair isn’t your forte :( you can still do fashion if you try really hard

(fun fact about this whole scene, yoohyun not being able to straighten his hair until he could control flame resistance is Certified Canon!)

“No, shit, don’t get up.” Yoojin flaps his free hand at him distractedly. Hyunjae and his need to do everything himself, jeez. “I mean, like. The iron is not. Straightening.”

“hyunjae and his need to do everything” says the man who a few paragraphs ago wanted to be hair makeup clothing and management all in one

“Okay, but why is it not working, though? Is the iron not turned on?” Wow. Wow! Yoojin wonders suddenly if Yoohyun ever felt as homicidal towards him as Yoojin’s currently feeling towards his big brother. If he ever had, then it’s frankly stunning Yoojin’s survived as long as he did. “Do you think I’m stupid,” he snaps. “It’s plugged in.” “Yeah, but did you turn it on.” “You know what, why don’t you touch it and see?” Yoojin unplugs the straightening iron for a minute so that he can take it over to Hyunjae, presenting it to him with a flourish. The heat will hold on for the few seconds this takes. “Come on, touch it right now. I dare you.”

zmur put this into words better than i can, she described this part as “the feeling when elder siblings doubt your intelligence”--

“What if you used a regular iron. Like for clothes,” Hyunjae says, completely ignoring Yoohyun. Yoojin hums thoughtfully.

--and this part as “THEY ARE RIGHT TO DOUBT IT !”

“Killjoy,” Hyunjae mutters so only he and Yoojin can hear.

(should doubt your elder sibling’s intelligence too, once in a while. keep them on their toes.)

“HAN YOOHYUN YOU TAKE YOUR HAND OFF THAT RIGHT NOW,” Yoojin and Hyunjae and Jiyeon holler in perfect unison.

parental instinct for particular phrasings of commands

“Flame Resistance,” Yoohyun reads out. “S-rank.” It’s not heat resistance, but it’s pretty close, so it probably still applies.

hum hum the flame skill works on heat as well, huh

Yoojin’s watching Hyunjae idly when the flickers start up at the edge of his vision again. He blinks, rubbing his eyes idly, and looks back up in time to see, just for a split second—

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE VISION PROBLEMS WAS IT? RUBBING HIS EYES WAS IT??

“Eh? It didn’t? I’ll… I’ll try it again, one second.” Nothing, for a second— but no, there is, pale flashes here and there. Yoojin shakes his head and blinks. They die down, then start up again. Fainter, this time. Why?

gonna say this here because i accidentally set it up as a Thing there’s. there’s no reason. whether the message shows up or not is pretty much random error.

“Ahjussi has an L-rank skill?” Yerim demands. “That’s so cool!” Jiyeon and Yoohyun and Yoojin stare at Hyunjae in silence as he returns Yerim’s eager high-five. He cowers when he notices them.

these three are already so mad and they don’t know that between S and L there’s SS and SSS. they’re gonna be SOOOOO mad. anyway yerim remains the chillest in the room

“So, say you needed to cauterize a wound in an emergency, and you didn’t have access to healing items or Hunters. You could drop the Resistance there, set it on fire, and just… sear it shut.” Yoohyun blinks, an intrigued look coming into his eyes, and looks down at his own forearm. “That’s true, I could probably…” “Yeah, food for thought, I suppose.” “What the hell?!” Yerim yelps. “Though it’s up to you if you want to try it. I still think your hair is fine as is, we don’t have to—” “That’s horrifying,” Yoojin blurts. “No, I should know how. In case something happens like you said. How do I do it?” “Now hold on a second,” Jiyeon says, voice rapidly rising in pitch.

sometimes i think about how dungeon stuff made yoojin significantly more chill with violence and murder and self mutilation in some cases. and how he comments specifically (i think this might be in a slightly later chapter, possibly unreleased) that people like myeongwoo who don’t have those extra years of immersion in the dungeon culture still reject and avoid violence and killing whenever possible. really makes you think

anyway! i saved some extra commentary for those okay with spoilers. continue reading at your own risk. extra large warning in case you’re skilling

SPOILER WARNING FOR THE BELOW CONTENT!!!! IT DRAWS ON INFO FROM UNTRANSLATED CHAPTERS, POST-170S AT LEAST!

“How many of these people did you personally know?” “Not many!” “So one, then,” Yoojin concludes. “You don’t know that!”

HE DIDN’T SAY THAT YOOJIN WAS RIGHT, THOUGH..............

“Why did you pick his name out of everyone’s! I thought you weren’t in touch with S-ranks. I thought you picked a friend’s name!”

they wanted some kind of bedroom decoration for a family member, counting sheep or something, i forget

a sheep, for a family member of one of han hyunjae’s old acquaintances, is it

#star.txt #work: yesterday will be kinder #writing commentary #my writing #some family antics to make up for what's next #more and more i feel like i need to write a timeskip. i'm so tired of early guild and dungeon management.#i need to write insanity. murder. kidnapping. classic s-class stuff #AND OF COURSE SUPERPOWERED FAMILY ANTICS WHICH IS SO CLASSIC S-CLASS STUFF IT'S BCE

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heychangbin · 4 years

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The Camping Trip ║ Part Two

Summary: You and Billy find your way back to your campsite, learn some things and spend the first night out in the woods.

Wordcount: 4876

Warnings: More smut towards the end.

A/N: picks up where part one left off, tag list at the bottom.

You didn't want to believe it, couldn't believe it, there was no way in hell that Billy Russo, whose job demanded that he be on high alert and commit, even the most minute of details to memory, was lost.

“8 years of military service," you began, fingers fastening the button of your jean's, "134 confirmed kills, 3 tours in Iraq, 1 in Afghanistan, CEO of your own private security company and you can’t remember from what direction you came from when you found me?” you cried incredulously, walking between the breaks in the trees, eyes squinting to see if you recognized some gnarled branch you might've passed by.

“In my defense,” you turned to look at him over your shoulder, shoulder pressed against the truck of a tall tree, jeans buttoned and zipped back up, dark gray t shirt smoothed down against his torso, “when I got those kills and was doing my tours I wasn’t getting my brain sucked out through my dick.”

You rolled your eyes as you turned away from him, brows furrowing as you caught the color of the sky. Was it getting darker? It definitely looked darker than when you arrived. Were there bears in New York? Oh god, were you gonna get mauled by Winnie the Pooh?!?

Your breathing started coming in shorter bursts, the rising panic making you start to hyperventilate.

"Stop panicking." He said, his voice controlled and calm as if he wasn't lost in the middle of the woods with no idea how to get back to the campsite. Probably due to all his training, you were sure that being a Lieutenant in the marines special forces he had to have nerves of steel.

But you didn't and you couldn't pretend you did.

"Billy, we're lost, how am I not supposed to panic!"

"Panickin’ about it ain’t gonna help, you're just gonna work yourself up--"

"Of course I'm gonna get worked up, we're lost and we don't have our phones Billy! what if a bea--"

"STOP." He said over you, voice hard and commanding, sounding every bit the decorated Lieutenant he was under all the expensive tailored three piece suits, silk ties, and immaculate personal grooming.

You froze mid step, shocked, Billy had never raised his voice at you, not like this, not even during the heated argument you've had over the years.

"S-T-O-P," he continued, voice back to its usual soothing tenor, "Stands for: stay calm, think, observe, and plan. First thing you gotta do is calm down." He pushed himself off the tree and walked over to stand in front of you, ducking his head down until his eyes locked on yours, placing his hands on your shoulders and giving them a tight squeeze., the weight of them helping to ground you and regulate your breathing. "Now, think….observe."

You take a moment and look past him at your surroundings, your eyes dancing between the breaks in the trees,

“Everything looks the same!” you groan out in frustration

“Hey, hey,” his hands come to cradle your face, dark eyes seeking out yours, “breathe.” you did, pulling a lungful of air and exhaling it slowly, “Alright, now think, where are you?”

“I don’t know, that’s the problem.”

“Cute,” the corner of his lips giving a slight twitch, “think of where you are.”

“The woods? A forest?”

“Good, what does a forest have?”

You rolled your eyes and looked around again, taking in the trees, grass and….mud. Huh. Your head cocks to the side as you noticed the tracks in the damp dirt.

“Billy,” your eyes follow the prints on the ground that lead and disappear into the trees, “how long do footprints last in mud?” you step past Billy and walk to the edge of the tracks

“If undisturbed, they can last days, weeks, months even.” he says from somewhere behind you.

“Think we can follow those,” you nod towards the prints, “back?”

“It’s worth a shot, if they don't lead us to our site, they can always lead us to somebody else’s, and we can go from there.” His voice has a satisfied tilt to it, you took a few steps alongside the tracks when a rustling made you stop and turn. Billy was crouched down near the ground, large hands gathering the bulk of the sticks you had collected.

“Are you serious?”

“What? I ain't about to let all your hard work go to waste.”

You rolled your eyes but walked over to where he was and helped pick up the remainder of branches on the ground. After picking up the final gnarled branch he nodded to the tracks, saying,

"Lead the way."

With your eyes trained on the ground, you followed along side the clear indents on the wet dirt, It wasn’t long before you were able to hear the familiar sound of Foggy’s voice.

“All I’m saying is, they’ve been gone a while, maybe we should go out and make sure they’re okay!”

“You got nothin’ to worry about tenderfoot, Bill’s with ‘er, she couldn’t be in better hands.”

“What if he didn’t catch up to her? These woods are huge and easy to get lost in!”

“And lets not forget it’s—”

“We don’t need to worry about them cuz they’re about to break through the treeline.”

You heard Matt say as you took the final step that put you and Billy out from the cover of the trees,

“There you are! What took you guys so long?” asked Karen at the same time that Frank let out a “Finally decided to show up, eh?” making Karen toss him a glare over her shoulder.

You rolled your eyes ignoring Frank instead choosing to answer the clear and genuine concern in Karen's eyes.

“Just headed out too far and lost track of time.”

You heard more than saw the amused huff Billy gave at your words, but you were not about to admit to your group of friends that you had gotten frisky in the great outdoors, especially not when at least two of them had been worried about you being lost.

“Well, that's a relief but we kinda need to get this fire going if we wanna have dinner.” Foggy said as he hurriedly waved you over to the center of your site, where he sat, hunched over a ring made of rocks. You walk over to where Foggy is, Billy a step behind you,

“First thing you need to know is how to build a fire.” Said Foggy as he took the branches from under your arm, “what I’m about to show you is the Nelson method,” he said as he snapped several twings in half, tossing them into the ring of stones. “It’s a family secret that’s been passed down from Nelson to Nelson ever since the old country and has a 99.9% success rate.” he had gone through the majority of the sticks you had brough when he continued, “When you have a nice pile goin’ you get them nice and close, then, you take your trusty box’a matches,” he says pulling a small box from the pocket of his pants, sliding it open and taking one of the wooden matches, pushing the box close, quickly striking the red head of the match along the stripe on the side, the match head bursting to life with a puff of smoke and a menacing fizzle. Foggy held the burning match to the edge of the pile of sticks, the flame transferring to the thinner ends of the twings, consuming the dry wood in a matter of seconds then dying out. Foggy struck another match and tried again. And again, and again, and again. Finally giving up when he burned himself for a second time.

Foggy pulled this thumb from between his lips, his arms falling to rest a top his knees, turning to look at Billy.

“You wouldn’t happen to have one of those fancy portable gas stoves packed away in one of the SUV’s, would you Russo?

‘Fraid not,” Billy answered,

Foggy’s head falls, his chin pressing against the middle of his chest, letting out an exaggerated sigh as his shoulders slump, before looking up at the others and solemnly saying,

“Got some bad news guys, looks like we're gonna starve.”

“Y’all better get a fire going over there Billy, I did not spend the last 20 minutes prepping these dogs for nothin’.” Curt said, not lifting his eyes from the work his hands were doing on the picnic table.

With that, Billy scooted closer to the edge of the stones, hand reaching in to pick through the pile of twigs and branches Foggy had made,

“First, you need to know the different materials it takes to build a fire.” he said, picking and snapping some of the more spindly ends of the twigs off, “Tinder should be thin and dry, ideally it would be birch bark, dry pine needles, grass, or leafs, but these,” he waved the growing fistfull of thin twigs, “will do just fine.

“The thing you wanna remember about tinder is, it should be easy to burn, it's what you’re gonna light directly and will spread to your kindling.

“Next, you got your kindling. These should be sticks no thicker than your fingers and go on top of your tinder.” he turned and picked some of the thicker pieces of branches you had found; gathering them into a loose bunch and setting it aside.

“Now, there’s several ways to go ‘bout it,” Billy said, pulling out a pocket knife from the inside of his boot, pulling the the blade from the metal casing, it locking in place with a click, and shoving the tip into the ground and shoveling out dirt, “the most efficient and easiest is the a-fram—”

“Ey! Don't you be teaching ‘er that shit!” Frank hollered making you, and everyone else, turn to look at him

“Pipe down Frankie, we’re trying to build somethin’ here!” Billy threw over his shoulder at the same time that Curt groaned out, “Oh lord, it’s Afghanistan ‘03 all over again.”

“Afghanistan ‘03?” Karen asked Curt as her eyes jumped from Frank to Billy, just like yours were.

Curt heaved out a sigh, hanging his head and pinching the bridge of his nose, “Story for ‘nother time Karen,” he said, sounding far more exhausted than he had seconds ago, “Just get a fire going Billy.” he added without looking up.

Billy threw a salute in Curts direction that he didn’t see, then continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted. He picked up one of the thickest branches you had found and shoved it into the ground at an angle, adding two sticks at the end that stuck out, propping it on the “y” at the ends. He grabbed the bunch of tinder and placed it in the middle of the space that rested under the three sticks, then layered some of the kindling on either side of the structure. When he deemed it finished, he pulled out his own box of matches, struck one along the side of the box and held the burning match to the front of the tinder, the small pile quickly catching the flames, white smoke forming and rising to the sticks above it, followed closely by the lapping of the fire. In a matter of seconds, the layered sticks caught the flame and were burning warm and bright, the tails of the fire flicking and licking at the open air above them.

The fire had been burning steadily when Foggy asked Billy about the hole he had dug up.

“It’s to let the oxygen flow under the tinder, fire needs oxygen to burn and not choke, that helter skelter shit you pulled would’ve worked had you not packed it so tightly.”

Foggy nodded along with Billy’s words, “Oxygen, not choke, gotcha.”

Billy laughed good naturedly at the intense look on Foggy’s face, poking at the fire as it continued to consume the branches, poking at them a few more times before he twisted to look behind him and called behind him.

"Hey Frankie, how ‘bout you make yourself useful and bring over the fuel wood and the grill racks to set up!”

Frank threw a glare at Billy before he pushed himself off the bench connected to the picnic table, picking up one of the bundes of chopped wood in one hand and with the other picking the steel rods and grill racks, walking over to where you were, setting down the bundle of wood, rods, and grill racks beside Billy.

By the time they had set up the grill racks and had added a few large pieces of wood to the burning fire, the sky had turned a shade darker, everyone gathering around the warmth and idly sipping from beer cans as you waited for the hot dogs to finish cooking. After the timer on Curts phone went off the meal went by pretty quickly as you made plans for the next day, which consisted of hiking and catching lunch.

It wasn't long before Frank was coaxed into bringing out his guitar as everyone held long sticks with skewered marshmallows over the flames.

"C’mon Frank," you said, pulling your marshmallow away from the fire and quickly sandwiching it between a pair of graham crackers and a piece of milk chocolate, taking a bite before parroting his earlier words, " it's part of the experience."

"C'mon Frank," Karen said from beside him, gently bumping her shoulder against his, making the last of his resistance disappear muttering out a low "fine." pushing himself off his chair and going to grab his guitar.

"Didn't know Frank could play," said Foggy around a mouthful of crackers, chocolate, and burnt marshmallow.

"He's actually pretty good," said Billy as he slowly rotated his stick, the marshmallow at the end getting an even golden coating all around. "Self taught if you can believe it."

Just then Frank sat himself down on his chair, resting the body of the guitar on his thigh, the pad of his thumb strumming and plucking at the strings, his head tilting to the side whole his other hand turned the tuning knobs at the top of the headstock. He turned a few more before he began strumming the strings in earnest. The fingers of his other hand dancing along the fretboard, the crackling of the fire complementing the easy familiar melody that filled the air. Frank cleared his throat a few times and began to sing, his usually gruff voice turning just a bit smoother and wrapping around the well known lyrics.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw Billy shift beside you, heard the slightest bit of rustling over the strumming of the guitar strings and the words that flowed from Frank, you turned to look at him, mouthing "You okay?", to which he just smiled and winked at you.

Frank was coming to the end of the first verse, his voice fading as his hand changed chords, a smile pulling at the corner of his lips as a twangy whistle came up from beside you making you turn to see Billy, sitting up straight with his eyes closed and his hands cupped around his mouth. The whistling changing as he slid the harmonica across his lips, his hands opening and closing over the slim metal instrument, making the pitch rise and fall, before fading completely as Frank began the second verse of the song.

They continued like that for the remainder of the song, the melody swelling before Frank plucked the last remaining chords as Billy blew on his harmonica, the twangy whistle tapering out as Frank continued to strum the guitar, the fingers of his left hand dancing quickly down the frets as he changed chords, a new melody quickly starting.

Frank and Billy did a couple more songs and had everyone around the fire humming and singing along to his rendition of Thunder Road, before you knew it, the fire had dwindled, the temperature had dipped, and the sky had turned and inky black, it’s after Karen had slumped against Frank’s side, eyes struggling to remain open that Matt suggested putting an end to the night.

The low flame that had been doing a good job at keeping you warm was put out, the mixture of reds, oranges, and yellows hissing as water was poured over them, extinguishing them and giving way to billowy wisps of gray smoke, Billy waved you off, giving you a small smile and saying, “I’ll catch up in a few, wanna make sure this doesn’t come back to life while we’re sleepin’.”

You nod and push yourself off your chair and walk to your and Billy's tent, you reach for the zipper and slide it along the length of the opening, the fabric going slack and letting you step through, pulling your phone out of your pocket and using the light to illuminate your way.

The first thing you notice is the inside of the tent is organized with the same meticulousness you've come to associate with Billy. The large raised bed that takes up a large portion of the left hand corner is made, the sheet and bulky spread pulled taunt, had you had a quarter, you're sure you'd be able to bounce it off the smoothed out surface, beside it a small table with one of the power stations he had sent in the text group. On the opposite corner a couple of hanging organizers, the clothes in them folded with the precision that is, at this point, second nature to Billy, under the organizers an empty mesh hamper, and hanging from the ceiling, an electric lantern.

You reach for the knob, turning it clockwise past the initial click until the room is flooded in a soft, barely there glow. After a few flicks of your phone screen you take your phone cable and connect it, laying the phone on the table and make your way to the organizers, eyes and hands going through the handful of clothes to find an old Anvil t-shirt Billy had once left behind in your apartment and you never returned. It’s worn and frayed around the collar and along the right sleeve but soft to the touch from repeated use; it’s easily your favorite thing you own. Billy has tried to get you to get you to throw it out, swap it for a new one on more than one occasion, mentioning the tiny holes that litter the left side, the stitching that’s coming undone from the right shoulder, but everytime you just shrug, not telling him why you refuse to part with the shirt. You refuse to tell him that it’s the only thing that kept you from breaking down when you—

No. You stop the memories of those lonely nights and days before they are able to fully form. He’s here now, that’s all that matters, not the past, only the future. Our future. Together.

You shake your head, tossing the shirt onto the bed, maybe one day you’d tell him, when the ghost of the things he did and endured for the people he called his family wasn’t so present on his face and dimming the light of his eyes. You strip your clothes, tossing them into the hamper, followed by your bra, pulling the dark shirt over your head, settling it over your shoulders, the hem falling a few inches short of your thigh.

You bunch the front of the shirt over your stomach and pop the button of your Jean's free, pushing them down and off your legs. On your way from picking them up off the floor you felt a body press against your back and a pair of arms circle around your middle.

“Curts right, we really should put a bell on you.” you say, relaxing against his chest, closing your eyes as you rested your head on his shoulder. You waited for his witty retort, something about no one getting any sleep if he had a bell on, but it never came. You peeked at him outta he corner of your eye and noticed the way his eyes were locked in on your shirt.

“Y’know, I almost tossed this out when I pulled it outta your bag,” he murmured against your temple, his beard grazing against the side of your face as he spoke, long fingers paying with the frayed hem, “knew you woulda served me my own balls for breakfast if you didn’t see it.” he paused for a beat and rested his chin on your shoulder. “You ever gonna tell me why you hold on to this thing?”

Someday. The word echoed in your mind as you lifted the shoulder opposite him in a shrug, “It’s comfortable, ‘sides,” you take a step away from him and turn, resting your hand on your hips, “it looks good on me.”

He smiles, his gaze traveling down your body then back up again, eyes lingering where the soft fabric clings to your body, “it does, holes ‘nd all but,” he closes the small distance between you, hands coming to rest on your hips and pulling you close, “it would look much better on the floor.” with that he seals his lips over yours.

His hands came up to cradle your head as his lips molded over yours, his tongue teasing at the seam of your lips before pushing past them and delving into your mouth, you angled your head, meeting each swipe of his tongue with one of your own. His hands trailed down, the pads of his fingers caressing the column of your neck, the curve of your breasts, and down your ribcage before circling around your waist, fingers kneading the swell of your ass. Your hands running up his chest, feeling the hard muscle under his shirt, going further up, past his neck to bury themselves in the long tresses at the back of his head, nails dragging against his skull, making him groan into your mouth.

His fingers are bunching the back of your shirt against the small of your back when you break away, panting into his shoulder as his hands go back to your ass, digging into the supple flesh.

“Billy,” your voice sounds paper thin as Billy kisses the side of your neck, beard scratching the thin skin, “Billy,” you try again through labored breaths, getting an acknowledging hum from him as his lips work on the slope of your neck, “Billy...we can’t…the others--”a moan interrupts you as Billy sinks his teeth on a sensitive patch of skin that makes your knees buckle, your hands gripping the front of his shirt

"We'll keep it down.” he whispers against the shell of your ear before nipping your lobe and sucking it into his mouth, teeth worrying the sensitive skin before moving to kiss his way down your neck. A hand coming up to circle your breast, thumb swiping across your hardened nipple through your shirt, you breath out a moan and Billy smiles against the side of your neck as he rolls your nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

"Billy," you breath, voice thick with want and need, your hands clenching the material of his shirt, pulling yourself impossibly closer against him,

"I’ve got you," he murmurs, lips brushing against yours as he guides you backwards toward the bed, his hands reaching and pulling your shirt over your head, tossing it off to the side while your hands work on the button and zipper of his jeans, pulling his own shirt up and over his head. You leave a trail of open mouth kisses that start from his left shoulder to his neck, sinking your teeth on the tendon there, making him hiss and stumble as he struggles to step out of his jeans.

When he’s successfully gotten his jeans off, he kisses you with renewed vigor, his lips hungrily devouring yours as he lowers you onto the mattress and settles himself between your legs, rolling his hips into yours, the outline of his harden length making you a bit desperate to have him inside of you.

You open your mouth to tell him to stop teasing you when a moan pushes itself past your lips as Billy works your clit through your underwear, the speed and pressure varying every few swipes, keeping you from reaching your peak. When he pulls his hand away from between your legs it feels like it’s been an hour, your body is hot, sensitive and you’ve been reduced to a whimpering mess. He shifts around, hooking his fingers in the elastic of your underwear and pushes them down and off your legs.

“I’ve got you,” he repeats, kissing the inside of your bent knee and up your thigh, the jut of your hip, the hollow under your sternum, between the valley of your breast, the base of your neck, and lastly on your lips. Your hands dig into his hair, nail scratching against the back of his head, moaning into his mouth when you feel the tips of his fingers touch your core, slipping between the wet folds and running up and down the slit, wetting his fingers before circling your clit, keeping the pressure light and the speed just slow enough to keep you on edge.

You roll your hips against his hand letting out a whimper when you feel the tip of his long fingers at your entrance, pushing in so slowly that the groan you let out was half pleasure half frustration, the frustration fading as he started pumping his fingers into you, quickly adding a second finger and picking up speed, the undulation of your hips making the heel of his palm brush against your clit every so often, turning you into a withering mess as he helps you chase your peak.

It wasn't until he added a third finger that he fucked you in earnest, long fingers reaching and curling inside of you while his mouth nipped and sucked at any skin within reach, it was the combination of a particularly hard shove and his teeth sinking into the skin over your jugular that hurtled you to reach your climax, body tensing, eyes rolling back of their own accord and mouth falling open in a silent scream.

Your chest rises and falls heavily as you catch your breath, your body jerking when Billy pulls his fingers away, you take a few deep breaths, tongue coming out to swipe your lower lip while your hand reaches for the front of Billy’s boxer briefs, he catches your wrist and holds it above your head, lowering himself against your body, lips slotting over yours and tongue delving into your willing mouth as he lazily rolls his hips against yours, dragging his covered length against your mound. His teeth nip and pull at your bottom lip before pulling away from you and climbing off the bed.

“Where’re you going?” you slur breathily as he walks over to the hung organizers on the opposite wall, rummaging through one of the cubbies for a moment, then makes his way back to the edge of the bed, pushing his briefs down his long legs, wrapping his hand around himself and give his length a few lazy strokes, the motion practiced and familiar, you'd seen Billy put on a condom countless times, before climbing back on and between your legs.

“Ain’t goin’ anywhere,” he murmurs against your skin, hand settling in the crook of your knee and gliding up to your thigh, fingers digging into the supple flesh as he rolled his hips, the tip of his hardened length dragging between your folds while he leaves a trail of open mouth kisses across your chest.

“Billy….need you…” your voice is caught between a whine and a plea, your leg hooking around his hip and bringing him down to you, rolling your hips against his. Billy hisses and lets out a string of curses before reaching between you and guiding himself to your entrance, letting out a rumbling groan as he pushes into you.

Despite his prep, you still feel the stretch when he enters you, clamping your hand over your mouth to muffle your moans as Billy slowly works himself into you, the speed and force with which he moves increasing with every few thrusts. You feel your second orgasm of the night approaching fast as Billy fucks you in earnest. You struggle to keep yourself quiet as his thrusts become harder, your own movement helping you race towards your finish, Billy pulls your hand away from your mouth and crashes his lips to yours, letting out a moan that Billy swallows as you crest, back arching off the bed and the leg over Billy’s hip pulling him impossibly closer. You’re riding the tails of your high when Billy’s thrusts stutter, hips flush against yours and he bites the top of your breast, groaning as he climaxes.

You're a heaving, boneless mess, struggling to keep your eyes open when Billy pulls out and rolls off of you, you turn and catch him tying off a condom before your eyes close and slip into unconsciousness.

Last part will be uploaded by/on 6/25/20

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kelyon · 3 years

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Nephila Chapter 5: Everglades

The fic where the Stiltskin men are all giant spiders (and some people are into that.)

In which Emma Swan is Florida Woman

Trigger warning: Killian Jones

Read on AO3

“Parks department is gonna shoot us with their tranquilizer guns if they catch us out here, Swan.”

Emma rolled her eyes at Killian and kept steering her fishing boat through the swamp. This section of the glades was tricky to navigate. She couldn’t let his whining distract her.

They were in a flat-bottomed aluminum jon boat, ten feet long. It didn’t have a built-in engine. Normally Emma used a paddle to get her where she needed to go on the water. Since her plans today were taking her further out than normal, she had “borrowed” a portable Evinrude motor from her friend Penny. It would be fine though; Penny’s boat just got impounded, so she wasn’t gonna miss the motor.

“I never said you had to come, Jones.” She shielded her eyes from the bright Florida sun. Her glasses were dirty and scratched. The reflection on the water doubled the light and made it impossible to see. She shoulda brought a visor.

“No, you just said you were going to do something dangerous and stupid.” Killian lounged against the side of the boat and used both hands to swat at bugs. “You know I can’t resist a challenge.”

“Of course not. That’s why you keep hanging around me, even though I don’t wanna bang you.”

“You mean you don’t want to bang me yet!” He gave her the grin that had worked on every other girl in the tri-county area. “I remain hopeful.”

“You remain delusional.”

Every once in a while, Emma thought about sleeping with Killian just so he would get over it and stop bothering her. He was decent company when he wasn’t horny. He was the only person in their group who would go on crazy adventures with her, and he never minded letting her crash at his place. They’d gotten each other in and out of trouble at least a hundred times since she’d moved to Florida during her freshman year of high school.

That was part of the problem with Killian. She’d known him too long. When they’d met, he’d been zitty and awkward, tagging along after his older brother Liam. Killian hadn’t gotten hot until senior year when he started growing a beard. All that shaggy dark hair brought out his bright blue eyes and covered up his acne. He wasn’t bad looking. And he was almost smart. Growing up on a houseboat made him act like he knew everything about every kind of boat, so he was never afraid to act like a drunk pirate. A lot of girls were into that.

For herself, Emma had heard his voice crack too many times to ever think about him as a sexual option. And yet, ever since graduation, she had found herself at the top of his “to-do list.” It was putting a real strain on their friendship.

“Oh, come on, luv! You know I’ll do anything for you. But if I’m gonna get a hand bit off by a crocodile, I’d feel better about it if I knew there was gonna be some kind of reward for my trouble.”

“Sex isn’t a reward, dumbass.” Hand on the tiller of the motor, Emma steered them around a patch of sawgrass and into a free-flowing slough where the water could carry them. “And besides, there aren’t any crocodiles in Florida. It’s all gators. I only lived here five years and even I know that!”

“Ha!” Killian pointed a triumphant finger at her. “Well, I’ve lived on these waters all my life! And I know that the American Crocodile is the only crocodile that co-exists with alligators. It’s an endangered species and it only lives here in the Everglades!”

She narrowed her eyes. “You just heard that on the Internet.”

Killian shrugged. “Doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

Emma shook her head. Whether or not Killian should believe something he read on the Internet was an argument they had at least once a week. Going over it again wasn’t worth it.

“Point is,” she said. “We’re going to the part of the glades where there aren’t any gators or crocodiles.”

Killian made a face. “There’s no such place.”

“There sure is!”

He still didn’t believe her. “How do you know gators aren’t there?”

“Cuz there’s too much other stuff. There’s a billion more birds and bugs and lizards in this part of the swamp than there is anywhere else.”

“In the whole Everglades?”

“Yeah. I read an article about it. On the Internet.”

If Killian wanted to give her crap about her news source, he was going to have one hell of an argument. But he had just enough brains not to, so Emma got to explain.

“The article had all these science people talking about the ‘explosion of biodiversity’ in this one tiny section of the Glades. It’s probably been going on for a while, but they just noticed it a couple months ago. All the animals and things that you find one of in any other part of the Glades, you’ll find ten of ‘em in this part we’re going to now.”

“With all the animals there, why aren’t there any gators snapping them up?”

“That’s what the scientists wanted to know. They said it makes sense that there’s more little things crawling around when there aren’t any big things to eat ‘em. But it doesn’t make sense that all the gators, the ‘apex predators,’ just disappeared. They think something is killing the gators but letting everything else go. They’re real worried about it too. So I figure there might be some kinda reward for finding out what’s going on.”

“A reward?” Killian sat up so fast the boat rocked. “You didn’t say anything about a reward!”

“I just did,” Emma smirked. “But we gotta keep it secret. I don’t want anybody trying to edge in on our find.”

“Wait, what are you trying to find?”

“Didn’t you hear a word I said? I’m going to find whatever’s eating the gators!”

Killian’s jaw dropped. “Are you crazy? You think there’s something big enough to eat gators and the first thing you wanna do is go after it?”

“Mm-hmm.”

Emma turned back to the tiller. She pulled her phone out of her back pocket and unlocked the screen. The article she’d read had a dinky little drawing of a map where all the strange activity was going on. Emma had compared it to the real map on Google and taken a screenshot of where she wanted to go. They should be close.

Killian was still freaking out. At least he was smart enough not to move so much that it would tip the boat over. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Swan?”

“I told you I was gonna do something stupid and dangerous.”

“You know it’s probably just snakes, right? Them pythons people get as pets, then they get too big and people let ‘em loose in the swamp and they eat everything. My buddy Kaa had to do that once.”

“If it was just a bunch of snakes, the science people wouldn’t be so weirded out about it. It’s something they can’t explain.”

“For all you know it could be a giant fucking monster! Did you bring a gun or something? You know McLeach is good to hook us up.”

Emma shook her head. “This is just a fact-finding mission. I don’t need a gun, I’ve got this.” She held up a digital camera in a plastic zipper bag. “I told Hat Man the whole story and he let me use this to take pictures.”

Killian ran his hand over his face. “Of course he did. Hat Man is the only other person in all of Florida who’s as crazy as you!”

Emma threw up her hands. “There are lots of people who do dumber stuff than me or Hat Man ever tried!”

“Yeah, but none of them ever did something that’s gonna get me killed! I swear, Swan--”

“Would the two of you please shut up?” Some guy’s voice rang out over the water. “You’re bothering the monster!”

Emma cut the motor and stood up. The jon boat wobbled but steadied itself after a second. Pushing up her glasses, she scanned around the water. She couldn’t spot any other boats around all the sawgrass patches.

“Who the hell are you?” she shouted. “And how the fuck do you know about the monster?”

The voice chuckled. “Lady, I know more about monsters than you know about your own parents.”

Emma clenched her jaw and muttered. “You don’t know shit about my parents, jackass.”

Sitting on the bench seat closest to the front of the boat, Killian put his head in his hands. “Let’s get out of here, Swan. Whoever this asshole is, the gator-eater can go eat him.”

“The gator-eater can eat this guy, just so long as I get a picture.” She cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted. “Where are you? Can you see anything?”

“I’ve got so many eyes, I can see everything.” The voice wasn’t shouting anymore. It sounded close. Emma hadn’t heard a motor running. Was this guy in a canoe? This far out away from the shore?

Her head spun as she looked around, but she didn’t see anything besides sawgrass and dead tree limbs and a million birds and bugs. There was an extra glare on the water around here, some kinda gold light coming off the patches of land.

“Where are you?” she asked again.

“Over here.”

A head popped out of the nearest patch of sawgrass. This patch had the most of the weird light, so much gold it barely looked green at all. Squinting, she tried to see who she was looking at.

At first, Emma thought it was just a normal guy with a tan. Then she thought the guy had some killer tattoos, maybe jail tats. There were dark brown circles all over his face. Then, the circles blinked at her. Then the guy smiled--and his mouth was green. No, that was not a human mouth. He had fangs. He had pincers.

“Oh, Jesus,” Emma whispered.

She couldn’t move. This was the thing she was looking for, but she couldn’t move. The camera was right by her feet. Her phone was in her back pocket. The boat tiller was less than a foot away from her hand. But she couldn’t move.

From up on his mound of sawgrass, the guy--the thing, the monster--was still smiling. He waved at her.

Somehow, she could wave back.

Sitting down, Killian hadn’t seen what Emma was looking at. “Do you see him?” he asked as he stood up. “I wanna get a good look at our competit--holy shit!”

Everything happened at once. Emma could only think of things in freeze-frame. She saw one second of Killian panicking. One second of him falling over backwards into the water. One second of him toppling the whole boat on his way down. One second of Hat Man’s camera in its ziploc bag flying into the air.

One second of the water coming closer as she fell.

The water wasn’t deep--just deep enough that she didn’t hit her head on the ground. Her glasses almost flew up off her face, but she grabbed them just in time. Spitting and sputtering, Emma managed to get to her feet in the soft mud. This time of year was the dry season, so when she stood up, the water only came up to her chest. But that didn’t mean much for the phone in her pants pocket. By the time she thought to raise it up over her head, it was already soaked.

“Shit,” she swore. “You owe me a new phone, monster-guy!”

At least Hat Man’s camera was in a waterproof bag. But from where she was, six inches above the water’s surface, there was no way she was going to find it.

“Shit!” Emma swore again. “And if I don’t get that fucking camera back, you are gonna be in huge trouble!”

Laughter rang out over the swamp. It wasn’t Killian. It had to be the guy. That monster jackass was laughing at her!

“This isn’t fucking funny!” she shouted.

The thing kept laughing. “Yes it is. I mean, come on, lady. You gotta admit this is classic comedy.”

She could not believe this. She’d gone out on the water to find a monster, found out it was a smart-ass jerk, and then lost any way to prove it to anybody! That wasn’t funny, it was…

Okay, it was pretty funny. But she still had every right to be mad about it!

“Killian, can you believe this sh--” Emma stopped when she realized she had no idea where Killian was. She couldn’t see him or the boat. He hadn’t said anything since he had seen the monster. There were a million sounds coming from a million animals, but none of them sounded like a grown man swimming.

Or drowning.

“Shit!” The third time Emma said that word, it was with bone-deep dread. Her mouth went dry and for a second she panicked. God, Killian could not be dead. She would get in so much trouble!

“Hey, asshole!” she shouted as she began to wade towards the gold-covered island. “You with the eyes and the sense of humor!”

“Call me Neal!” the monster shouted back. He sounded like he was trying to be friendly.

Emma’s mouth dropped open, but then she closed it before a bug could fly in. Where did a monster get off having a name like Neal? She shook her head. It didn’t matter. What mattered was Killian.

“Okay, Neal. Sure. Listen, Neal, I need your help. I know I talked a lot of shit to you, but this is serious. Can you see my friend?”

“You mean the wannabe bad boy? Yeah, he’s getting eaten by crocodiles.”

“WHAT?” Emma shrieked.

“Nope. That was a joke. Bad taste, I guess. Actually, he looks fine. He was able to get the boat flipped over and he is motoring off to the horizon.”

“WHAT?” Now Emma was in a full-on bellow. Over the sound of blood pounding in her ears, she could hear the faint whine of an Evinrude outboard motor. “That son of a bitch stole my boat!”

Now that she knew Killian wasn’t dead, she was fully prepared to kill him. She staggered to the island that was covered in a haze of gold--it looked like a bunch of fancy spider webs, but that was the least of her concerns.

“Are you around here?” she yelled. “Neal?”

The same head and arms emerged from the grassy water. Up close, the face looked even weirder. There was a circle of brown eyes, all different sizes and all dark as buttons. She couldn’t tell if there was a nose or not. And the mouth was way too wide and way too fangy, especially when it looked like it was smiling. There were… things on either side of his smile, bright, shiny green things, a part of his mouth, she guessed.

Weirdest of all, over the monster’s human-looking chest and arms, he was wearing a Hawaiian shirt. It was green, with yellow flowers.

“My father always told me to help a human in need. What can I do for you?”

Right now, Emma was too angry to be confused. “Can you swim?”

Neal raised himself up a little higher out of the sawgrass and Emma saw what the rest of him looked like.

It was one of those half-man, half-horse things she’d seen in movies. Centaurs, that’s what they were called. Only it wasn’t a horse that Neal was half of. Too many legs for that. He was light brown and gray, so he blended in with all the mud and sticks. His legs looked kinda stubby, and they all came out of one place in front of… Emma didn’t have any other word for it but spider-butt.

Sweet Jesus’ birthday. The gator-eater was a goddamned spider-man!

Neal didn’t talk for a second. Emma figured he was letting her get used to him. But that was gonna take a while and Killian the rat bastard was getting further away by the second. Emma put her hands on her hips and looked this thing in its two biggest eyes.

“Did you hear what I said? Can you swim?”

“I’ve got so many legs, I can swim anywhere. You want me to catch up with your boat and teach that guy a lesson?”

“Hell no. I want you to take me to my boat so I can give that son of a bitch a black eye myself.”

Neal snorted--or maybe it was a snort. He sounded like he thought it was funny. “I can do that.” He smiled and lowered his spider-legs so his whole body was near the ground. “You wanna climb aboard?”

Emma wasn’t afraid to ride on the back of a spider-thing through the Everglades. She’d been riding jet-skis since she was ten. This couldn’t be that different. It’d probably be easier, since Neal would be able to do all the steering himself.

He was already mostly in the water, so she just kind of fell on top of him, with her legs on either side of his… Was it a waist? The lower part of his human half.

Short, prickly hairs grew all over the spider half. They came out when she moved her legs against them. Emma was glad she had decided to wear full pants today instead of shorts.

“Okay.” She grabbed the Hawaiian shirt with both hands and tugged. “Giddy-up.”

Neal tensed up and for a minute he didn’t say anything. Then he turned his head to talk to her. “What’s your name?”

“Emma,” she said. Oh crap, was he mad?

“Okay, Emma, listen up. I’m going to help you get your boat, because I am a helpful kind of individual. But if you ever treat me like an animal again, you will be swimming home. Understand?”

“Oh.” Emma let go of his shirt. “Crap, I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. “No big deal. I’m sure you’re not used to people like me. Now, let’s go retrieve some stolen property!”

Neal had four legs on either side, but he only used the front three to swim. His back legs dragged through the water to balance him out like a dead man’s float. The other legs pushed past the water, all working together. It almost looked like a bird flapping its wings against the wind. Was that what a butterfly stroke looked like? Or was this just a spider stroke?

All that mattered was that Neal was fast. And he knew this area better than Killian did. They caught up to him when he was trying to push his way through an area too shallow for the jon boat.

“Hey!” Emma shouted. “Are you fucking running my boat aground?”

She was too far away to see the expression on Killian’s face. All Emma saw was him looking at the tiller, looking up at her shouting at him from the back of a swimming spider, then looking at the motor again, frantically pulling at the line to get it started.

“Stop doing that, you’re gonna flood it!” Emma shouted again. Killian stopped, and she leaned forward to talk to Neal. “You can take it easy if you want. He’s not going anywhere.”

Chuckling, Neal reduced his speed. The strokes through the water were slower now, but they felt more powerful.

Now that she knew she’d be getting her boat back, Emma breathed a sigh of relief. She leaned back on her hands against the spider-butt and rested in the sun.

Neal must have noticed. “You enjoying the ride?”

Emma nodded, but then realized that he couldn’t see her. “I figured I been on these glades every way you could be except over ‘em in a helicopter. Never thought I’d get to see ‘em on the back of a spider.”

“Do you like it?”

“Yeah.”

They were getting closer to Killian. His freaking out kept getting louder, probably because he could see Neal in better detail. Or maybe because he knew Emma was going to beat seven kinds of crap out of him for stealing her boat and running away without her.

“He is such a dingus,” she muttered.

Neal chuckled again. “Listen,” he said. “If you ever wanna… find me again, I’ll try not to scare you next time.”

“Now that I know you, I don’t think you could scare me,” Emma said proudly. “But I might not be able to get out here again for a while. I’ll have to do a little hustle to get another phone. Plus, I gotta tell Hat Man I lost his camera. He might want me to pay for that too, so my weekends are probably gonna be booked.”

“Oh.” Was she crazy or did he sound disappointed?

They were within spitting distance of Killian now. It was a weird thing, but Emma almost didn’t want to stop swimming with Neal.

“Here’s your boyfriend,” he said as he swam up to the boat.

Killian’s terror had gotten to the stage where he was huddled in the furthest corner of the boat, white faced and wide eyed. Over and over he whispered, “What the fuck?”

Crawling off Neal’s back, Emma scrambled into her boat. Yep, Killian the pirate had run a ten-foot fishing boat into the only section of the Everglades that jutted up over the water. It was a miracle there wasn’t any damage to the hull that would make them take on water.

Neal was already swimming away, but Emma called out. “Don’t leave yet!”

He spun around. Was she crazy or had his eyes lit up?

“Can you do me another favor? Can you pull us away from this sandbar?”

Nodding, Neal grabbed the boat with his human hands. His hands and arms were the same weird color as his spider parts, kind of a muddy brown. The Hawaiian shirt covered his shoulders, but his chest was bare. Emma could see the muscles in his forearms. He looked… strong.

He swam out to a slough with the boat in tow. Killian looked like he was going to throw up.

“Thanks,” Emma said when Neal let go. She wanted to say more, but she didn’t know what.

“No problem,” he answered.

Treading water, all of Neal’s legs pumped like he was riding eight different unicycles. He bobbed up and down like a jellyfish. Emma got the feeling that he wanted to say more too.

“Jesus Christ,” Killian moaned. “Swan, can we please go home?”

“Now you be nice to Emma, okay dingus?” Neal swam around to that side of the boat. With his human hand, he reached up and ruffled Killian’s hair. “I bet if she wasn’t such a nice person, she’d push you out of the boat and leave you here with me.”

“Jesus Christ!” Killian squealed. He crawled backwards away from Neal like a panicked rat.

Emma tried not to laugh at her friend. She needed to get him home before he started crying. She started the engine and began to motor away.

“Thanks again, Neal,” she waved. “I’ll see you around!”

He waved back. “I hope so.”

****

Even when they got back to shore, Killian was still spooked. Emma had to talk him through every step of docking, even though they’d both done it a million times. At least they were able to sneak the Evinrude back into Penny's garage without getting caught. That was about the only thing that had gone right all day.

When they got back to the houseboat he lived in with his brother Liam, she plopped him down at his kitchen table. She put a cold beer in his hands and started to fry up some hot dogs for lunch.

He just stared at the bottle. “What was that, Swan?” he asked. “What the fuck was that thing?”

Standing in front of the two-burner stove, Emma shrugged. “He says his name is Neal.”

“‘He’?” Killian repeated. His head fell into his hands. “‘He says.’ He talks? Swan, this is insane!”

“Sure is.” Secretly, Emma was glad Killian was freaking out. It meant she didn’t have to. She could be the reasonable one in the face of all this fucked up shit.

They ate lunch in silence. Emma hated the taste of beer, but there was a hard lemonade in the fridge and she helped herself. Once they were done eating, Emma threw away the bottles and the paper plates. Killian and Liam never asked her to clean up for them, but she knew that if she didn’t, the garbage would stay on the table for the better part of a month.

“I gotta go see Hat Man,” she announced. “Better tell him now what happened to his camera.”

“I’m coming with you,” Killian said with more life than he had put into anything for the past hour. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

Emma nodded, and they started walking.

****

Geoffrey “Hat Man” Jefferson was the closest thing to an adult that either Emma or Killian trusted. He told them once that his family used to be rich, that a hundred years ago finding feathers for hats in the Everglades was a big business. His great-grandparents bought a lot of land and built a big fancy house on the water. Hat Man still owned the land, and he still wore fancy hats. But the big house had gotten flooded so many times no one could live there anymore. Now he lived in a trailer and spent most of his time getting high on magic mushrooms.

He was a pretty chill guy. Emma didn’t think he would get mad about the camera, but that just made her feel worse about losing it. Hat Man had done her a favor and she had fucked it up.

Story of her life.

When they got to the trailer, Emma and Killian found Hat Man and the usual group in the front yard by the road. It looked like they had taken the dining room table from the big house and set it up outside. All their friends were sitting in the dining room chairs, drinking from China teacups and saucers. Margot and Tilly were holding hands and singing to themselves. McLeach was drinking tea with his pinky up and his rifle slung over the back of his chair.

The table was set with all kinds of pretty platters and bowls--though the menu seemed to be made up of whatever could be snuck out of a gas station convenience store. A red-headed kid named Oliver held out a crystal serving dish of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos to Dodger, who was using a pair of silver tongs to place them, one by one, on his plate. The lace tablecloth fluttered in the breeze and got tangled in the tall grass.

If these were Emma and Killian’s friends, maybe they weren’t actually good judges of what was or was not crazy.

Hat Man noticed them, and raised his teacup in greeting. “Salutations!” he called. “Far-flung comrades, come back to join us in the fold!”

Everyone at the table looked at them. Without anyone saying anything, they all moved around and adjusted their chairs so Emma and Killian could both have seats. Killian found refuge between McLeach and a girl named Vixie--though Vixie seemed a lot more interested in Todd. Todd was a new guy to the group, and had never lived away from his momma before getting dumped here.

Emma sat down next to Hat Man, who handed her a three-level cookie tray loaded with Ding Dongs.

“How mellifluous to see you on this fair day, Mademoiselle Swan! To what honor do I owe the occasion?”

Today Hat Man was wearing black tuxedo pants and a silk purple vest with no shirt underneath. The brim of his battered top hat shadowed his eyes, so Emma couldn’t see exactly how blasted out he was. It appeared to be a lot.

“Actually…” Nervously, Emma fiddled with her glasses until Hat Man, very gently, pulled them off her face and placed them into a glass pitcher of blue slurpee.

“You see better when you don’t have stuff in front of your eyes,” he explained.

“That’s true,” Tilly nodded from across the table. Unlike everyone else at the table, Tilly had drugs that she should be taking, but wasn’t.

Emma actually saw much worse without her glasses, but that wasn’t anything worth caring about now. Even without them on, she still kept touching her face.

“Hat Man, do you remember the digital camera you let me borrow?”

“I recall it with the utmost vividity!” he said. His mouth was full of a burrito that appeared to still be frozen.

“Well, I’m super sorry but, it’s gone.”

He patted at his mouth with a cloth napkin. “Desiccation and decay is the way of all flesh, Emmy-wemmy. And all the goods we horde will crumble into dust or be swallowed by the somnambulatory sea.” He took off his hat and solemnly placed it over his heart. “Adieu, O photographic device of mine! May your memory be a blessing unto the next generation.”

The only other person paying attention was Tilly. She had tears in her eyes as she nodded along with what Hat Man was saying.

“So you’re not mad?” Emma said.

“Very mad, but not at all angry.” Jefferson took a burnt Pizza Roll off a silver platter, threw it into the air and caught it in his mouth. “What happened to it, anyway?”

“I…” she didn’t know how to start. “I wanna say you’re not gonna believe this, but I think you’re the only person who will.”

In hushed tones, she told him the whole story. The news article, the missing alligators, the island of gold thread--Neal. Hat Man listened politely, nodded and asked questions, but in the end he shook his head and said that the whole thing was poppycock.

“What?” Emma said. “But I saw the whole thing! And Killian was there, you can ask him!”

“Don’t be farcical,” Hat Man took a sip of… well, it was in a teacup, but it probably wasn’t tea. “How on earth could such a creature get here from Australia?”

Emma frowned. “I didn’t say anything about Australia.”

“Indubitably,” he said. Emma had no idea what he meant by that. “But Australia is the only place where I’ve ever witnessed such a creature before.”

#nephila #swanfire #Belle and Rumple will be back soon #ouat

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if-found-return-to-gusu · 3 years

Text

Drunken Shenanigans

(First off, sorry that this isn’t broken up into parts. I don’t know. Maybe you guys prefer it in one long chunk anyway? Well whatever. I’m too lazy RN but let me know your preference maybe for future stories? Cuz like. Y’all know how long winded I am.)

---------------

FUCK OKAY JUST

FUCKING DO IT WEI YING

ENOUGH PUTTING OFF THINGS.

I want to tell things in order. Or as close as I can remember. But I’m gonna be honest. The fire fucked me up. And I know that each story brings me closer to having to talk about it.

But I think I have to talk about it.

Let’s see. Drunk Lan Zhan.

I WANT to talk about that because in retrospect it was fucking hilarous.

But I haven’t been able to because I’m just all sorts of fucked up right now.

But I think a way to get me less fucked up is to just start unwinding the pieces.

And honestly, writing helped before so I think it’ll help now.

It’s just that starting has been difficult.

So I’m just gonna rip off the bandage.

I’m just gonna start.

------------------

So it was Friday. Fuck. Already a month ago?? Jesus I’m late.

Okay A month ago today. Friday.

Let me gather my thoughts.

What was I doing? I think I was at home. Doesn’t really matter.

I got a text from Lan Zhan. Not completely unusual, but I knew he’d had plans to meet his family earlier. I think I was surprised that he was texting me so early in the evening? I remember expecting to hear from him later..

Er.. no wait I think I was going to text him around 9. To at least check in on him and wish him a good night. But he texted me first.

I’m scrolling back through my phone. What exactly did he text? I know it was like… wrong right away.

Oh yeah. It was my name 3 times in a row. Or almost. The first two times were mistyped. And then after he got it right he apologized for the misspellings.

I asked him what was wrong and…. String of martini glass emojis? Oh man he was GONE already wasn’t he?

SO obviously I booked it over there. Remember going through a few different apps to figure out which company would get me there the fastest because I sure as shit wasn’t gonna leave him there alone.

Looking back maybe I should have called someone else? His brother could have gotten there faster. I think I didn’t want him to worry. I figured if this was the state that Lan Zhan was in after meeting with his uncle, then Lan Xichen probably wasn’t in the best state either.

I should have checked up on him too but I didn’t. I was too worried about Lan Zhan.

I really should have checked in on him.

Maybe it’s not too late? Who takes care of Lan Xichen when Lan Zhan is fucked up?

Okay that’s not right. Fucked up isn’t right. Lan Zhan… Lan Zhan has issues, I know he does. After all he is, surprisingly enough, still human. But he manages them so much better than I do.

I’m fucked up. Not him.

So let’s rephrase. Who helps Lan Xichen when his little brother is also upset? I know he was, is?, dating Jin GuangYao? Though he doesn’t talk about it much. I’ve met the man in passing a couple times. Doesn’t seem the most comforting.

Though I guess there’s DaGe too. I remember he took pretty good care of him at my birthday.

Is it wrong to want to make Lan Xichen split up with Jin Guangyao so that I can set him up with DaGe? I just think they’d be cute together.

Ah not that I’m in any place to do that. See above; I’m fucked up. I should untangle my own love life before I try to poke holes in someone else’s.

And… maybe I shouldn’t be talking about these things on my blog?

Ah fuck it. I’ve said more personal stuff here already and none of you know anyone I’m talking about anyway except Ghosty and… Idk. I trust Ghosty.

Can’t help it. I just trust them.

Anyway

Anywaaaaayyyyy where was I?

Fuck these tangents. Are they worse than before? Or have I always been like this? I should re-read my old posts but somehow I’m scared to. I don’t want to look at where I was right now. I feel like so much has happened… am I even that person?

I don’t know why looking back scares me. Probably old defense mechanisms. Probably why I can’t remember anything before I was 10 too. Mmm. I should look back. I don’t want to forget.

But I think I’m afraid that I’ll… I don’t know… Either miss or hate who I was. If I miss who I was what will I do? I can’t go back to it. You can’t go back to what you were.

But if I hate who I was…. Well I hate who I am so I guess there isn’t much difference….

Shelf that.

Fuck. My complaining about going off on tangents became a tangent.

Where Was I???

Okay. So I carted my ass over to Lan Zhan’s, thinking not for the first time that maybe I should just fucking learn how to drive???????????

But whatever. I got there pretty quick.

I knocked on the door, heard some concerning bangs and then silence.

Knocked again and called out his name.

Think I heard him again… swearing????? But it was muffled so I can’t be sure.

Shame.

Haha

So I decided to do what he told me to do before and just use my damn key.

I mean… it’s not breaking and entering right? And besides. He texted me. That… meant he wanted to see me right? At the very least even if he didn’t it was for his sake. Totally not at all because I was curious what he’s like when he’s drunk.

Nope. Not a factor. Purely just wanted to make sure he was okay. Absolutely innocent.

(You know that’s a lie. I REALLY wanted to see what he’s like when he’s drunk. But I DID also want to make sure he was okay. So really, win win. Or… True neutral in intent? IDK but I think they cancel each other out.)

So I very carefully opened the door and peered inside to find…. An empty apartment.

The lights were off in the entry way, but I could see something down the hall and around the corner. Turns out that he was in the living room with a lamp and a bit of a mess.

He’d knocked over the bottle of wine when I knocked. Apparently I startled him? And then when I knocked again… ???

I’m not sure.

But he was somehow tangled in his own pant legs? They were comfy pants and a bit flowy and his foot got stuck in the other leg? I don’t know how it happened and clearly neither did he. And he’d toppled over and… apparently had given up.

So clearly my coming over was the correct call.

(Sorry Lan Zhan. I know you’ll never read this and never know but… this was just too precious to keep to myself. I promise I won’t embarrass you TOO much but there needs to be a documentation of your drunken hijinks. SangSang please don’t tell him. ;w;)

So about this point. I decided that instead of helping him, I was going to call out to you guys to ask for help.

I don’t know why? I was panicking.

So I posted Help.

And then went to untangle him.

Managed to fix his pants (don’t think too hard about that one) and get him sitting properly. He just kinda blinked slowly at me and kept silent the entire time. ????

Like okay looking at his face you’d never know the guy was trashed. But the guy was TRASHED.

I asked him how much he’d had and he just held up a finger.

One.

One what??

A glass? A bottle? A keg?

I looked over at the jug that had tipped over and tried to gauge how much he’d had. I don’t know if the bottle had been full or not when he started. I don’t think I’d left any half-empty? But he may have shared with another guest? I wouldn’t have been surprised if he kept some on hand for SangSang too. Not just me. It’s good wine.

Well either way. With how much was now spilled on the table and floor, and how much was in the bottle… I’m guessing… he had no idea and was bullshitting me how much he’d had.

So there’s that.

He had enough alcohol for one drunk. Got it.

Well didn’t matter. Either way he was sloshed. I suppose this is karma (I know that’s not how karma works) for when I got drunk off my ass in front of him before. Ah well.

You know… speaking of karma…. Like what kind of fucked up karma do I have? Like I must have just been a DEMON in my previous life. What the fuck did I do? Massacre a ton of people? Raise the dead? FUCK. Well whatever I did. Thanks a lot past life me. You’re a DICK.

Anyway.

I went to get a cloth to mop up the mess. While I was wiping everything down he disappeared.

I posted on my blog again because I have shit priorities, and then went to find him.

He was in the kitchen. After turning on every single light. His head was completely in the fridge.

I called out to him, because what the fuck? And he stood up and blinked at me again. Except now he was holding a package of skinless chicken breast??? For some reason?????

Why did he even have that Probably was planning to make it for me the next day since that was our Saturdate. He doesn’t eat much meat so it wouldn’t make sense for him to have so much.

But okay

He just held it out to me and said my name.

???????

Just.. standing in the kitchen with ALL the lights on with the fridge hanging open offering me skinless chicken breast in its neat little vacuum sealed packaging.

So uh… Like what do you do with that?

I asked him what he was doing and he just pushed the package at me, asking if it was good?

I mean they looked fine. Lan Zhan always buys good stuff. And this stuff was clearly bought fresh and then wrapped up by himself. He’s got a vacuum sealer thing. So like it’s not even stuff from the grocery store? He probably got it from a humane butcher. Because he does his research on EVERYTHING.

So like… yeah?? They were good? And I like chicken.

So I just kinda nodded and said yeah they’re good. And so he pushed the meat at me again and said it was all for me?

So um.. I don’t know if he was asking me to cook it? I asked him if he wanted me to cook it and he looked confused.

And fair. I mean I was confused too. No one wants me to cook. Everyone always complains. They just don’t appreciate the culinary genius that is me.

But Lan Zhan looked at me, then the chicken, and seemed to be in the deepest thought.

“Let’s put this in the fridge and we can eat it tomorrow, yeah?” I suggested, trying to take the meat from him and edge to the fridge at the same time.

Apparently this was incorrect as he yanked it away from me and started towards the stove?????

I got to him just in time to stop him from turning it on.

Like okay Lan Zhan is an amazing chef. And he’s got a NICE kitchen. But the stove is a gas one. You know the one with open flame? And like

THe man had just dumped have a container of Emperor’s Smile on himself???

Like fuck. So I think I screamed.

Because Fuck. No. Lan Zhan was NOT going to cook for me while drunk off his ass.

I remember lunging at him and like pulling all the knobs off of the stove so he couldn’t turn it on. He glared at me with this.. this …. POUT. omg it was adorable.

But NOT adorable enough for me to give him back the stove knobs. He tried to grab them but I put them in my pocket.

And then he tried to grab them again which is danger zone no no for SO MANY REASONS ;asldkfjsa;lkfaslkfjsd;lkfjas;dkfj;lafkjk

So I took his hands

And put on my best most adorable pleading expression and asked him to please let us have it tomorrow? Because I really wanted to eat it tomorrow. He stared at me again, binked, then slowly nodded and put the chicken… in the cupboard.

So I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie or something instead. He didn’t answer (How is drunk Lan Zhan even more quiet than sober Lan Zhan? How is it possible?) but he didn’t like protest or anything.

So I asked him if he wanted to pick something out and I’d come in in just a minute for him to surprise me with whatever he selected.

He nodded at that. Mumbled something that sounded like “for Wei Ying.” or something and stumbled off.

I took a moment to breathe and update the blog again before putting the chicken in the fridge. Contemplated hiding the knives and stove knobs somewhere where Lan Zhan couldn’t get to them, but that seemed a bit much. So I put the knobs back on and went to see what Lan Zhan was doing.

He was….

Drinking….

More….

Again.

So I updated my blog again????? What the fuck is wrong with me?

Well I did stop him again. I grabbed the bottle and just took it. Downed the whole jar so that he couldn’t have any more.

Maybe not the best option? But I had eaten dinner for once and I’m actually not a lightweight. (That one time was a fluke. Like it seriously was) so it was fine. Not like I was driving home anyway.

And besides maybe it’d help me get on his level? IDK. It was stupid but then so am I. And it was just a shame to dump it all out so down the hatch it went.

It was at this point that I realized that Lan Zhan was still wearing the clothes he’d spilled all over. I suggested he go change into something clean. He seemed to find logic in this and stumbled off to his room.

Did NOT shut the door but that’s okay. It was down the hall and I couldn’t really… SEE anything unless I went further into the hall myself.

Tempting but I was a good boy and resisted.

Thats when things got quiet… too quiet (see post I’d made about it being quiet).

I went to go check on him to find that he was stripped to his boxers, with his pants around his ankles. He was looking in his closet, probably trying to find out what suit to wear???

But when I entered he stumbled back, slammed the door shut and toppled feet over head to the floor!!

Man he’s jumpy when he’s drunk.

I helped him to rights and was actually so distracted that I didn’t realize that he was practically naked for like 2 whole seconds!!

(I’m pretty sure Lan Zhan isn’t a mortal, no matter what I said earlier in this very post about him being a human. No human being has the right to be that fucking cut??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

It is NOT fair.

FUck. )

WELL being a responsible and reasonable adult (lol) I decided I would help this drunk toddler of a man get dressed. I dug through his pajama drawer and pulled out something soft and fluffy. Hoped that it’d be more appealing to him if it was super super comfy. Started to hand it to him, but then figured fuck it. Probably better to just do it myself.

Managed to keep my eyes and hands to myself as I helped him. Very proud.

He let me do this without complaint. He was very good. He lifted his arms up when I told him to and his legs. Ended up putting my face WAY too close to his hips but I looked at the wall the entire time so it was fine.

Fine. It was fine. We’re fine. I’m fine. It’s fine.

Fuck I’m a mess.

Okay what happened next. He was good. Sat like a good boy. Got him dressed (thank you A-Yuan for giving me practice? Did not think this was a life skill i’d be needing now that you’re growing up and can do your own buttons but guess life likes to throw them curve balls. Either way. A-Yuan m’boy. I owe you a solid.)

(Also do NOT miss changing your diaper. Fuck)

ANyway

NO TANGENTS. (that’s a lie. There will be more tangents. Whatever.)

SO Lan Zhan was dressed like a human again. Somehow even drunk of his ass he looks like some sort of adonis. Not fair.

Uh.

Oh yeah. I got up and was gonna step away and he grabbed me.

Not like hard? But really firm. Grabbed my arm and said “no.”

No what? No to the pajamas? No to the bunny slippers? No????

I asked him what he was saying no to and he just said no again and pulled me closer.

“Lan Zhan Lan Zhan” I chided, “You’re being unreasonable. I got you all dressed and you were being so good but now I try to get up and you say no and stop me? What are you wanting? Do you not like these pajamas? Do you want me to dress you in something else?”

I remembered him looking at the closet and decided to be a little shit. I was gonna pretend I was gonna grab one if his suits to dress him in that instead. (No way I was going through that effort. Just wanted to prove a point that the PJ’s were much more comfy.)”

“Alright. Why don’t we change into something else? I know you like wearing suits. Or well, /I/ like when you wear suits. So let’s go get one.”

He started to relax his grip and I got up again, but then 2 steps to the closet he seemed to panic and grabbed me again.

He wrapped his arms around me from behind and sat back down on the bed with me mostly in his lap?????

Okay Trying to keep myself pure here. I’m a good boy. Who was not going to take advantage of my best friend while he was drunk off his ass. Good boy. Think of ANYTHING else but being in his lap.

And of course. THis meant. I had to run my mouth.

“OH? So you DON’T want a suit? Well then you should just be happy in those pajamas. As nice as you look in a suit I think they’re much more comfortable. The pajamas that is. Unless you’d rather be naked. But that--”

Anddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

He covered my mouth.

I tried to twist to look at him but he wouldn’t let me.

I tried to protest against his hand but he wouldn’t let go.

So I examined my options and decided the only course was to lick him.

So I did.

Because I have had a brother and that always got me out when Jiang Cheng actually managed to pin me.

Worked like a charm this time too. Lan Zhan dropped me like I was made of fire.

Maybe I should have been offended???? But I was too busy laughing.

He stared at his hand in what had to be horror. I calmed down enough to offer to wipe it off for him but he just pulled it in to his chest protectively.

“Oh come one. I’m not gonna lick it again! I said wipe it off! Clean it. Fuck I’ll wash ‘em with soap if you want. Dear goodness it’s not like I’ve got fucking cooties or something.”

He stared at his hand again and pouted, seemingly not sure what he wanted to do.

I reached out gently again and he pulled away again. Clearly not down for touching anymore.

So I huffed and said fine.

“You just go to bed or something then. I’ll leave you alone if you’re just gonna get all grumpy at me.”

So I started to leave. And he tried to grab me again???????????????????????????????????

Does he want to be touched or not? Or maybe he just wanted to do the touching now that I look back on it.

Well at the time I just kinda leapt out of the way and complained he wasn’t being fair changing his mind about what he wanted every 2 seconds. Quite unreasonable.

And somehow….

This ended with us chasing each other around the house???

Admittedly that part’s a bit of a blur. It started with him chasing me and then somehow we switched and I ended up chasing him?

Oh yeah. I think I thought he was going back to the kitchen or something and I panicked and tackled him onto the couch. That’s when I sat on him to keep him there and posted about it again while I caught my breath.

He just let himself lay face down on the couch, his face pressed into the pillow completely. Both a blessing and a curse because I don’t know what I was thinking at the time. I dont’ know what I would have done if he’d pouted at me again. Licked him again?? But a curse because that meant all I had to focus on was how thicc his ass was. Like I was sitting on it.

And it is a COMFY perch. Gotta say. Like fuck. This man is perfect in every way.

NOT. THE. POINT.

KEEP MIND. AWAY FROM THAT. YOU DON’T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW. ESPECIALLY THINKING ABOUT THINGS THIS WAY WHEN YOU KNOW YOU’RE GOING TO BE SLEEPING IN THE SAME BED AS HIM AGAIN TONIGHT.

(DON’T @ ME WE JUST SHARE A BED. OKAY? IT MAKES US BOTH FEEL BETTER AND IT’S FINE. IT’S FINE. WE’RE FINE. I’M FINE. IT’S FINE. I’LL TELL YOU ABOUT THAT MORE LATER BUT JUST.. IT’S FINE OKAY? IT’S FINE. TRUST ME. COMPLETELY NOTHING ROMANTIC ABOUT IT. IT’S OKAY TO CUDDLE YOUR BROS. I MEAN IT’S A BIT COMPLICATED SEEING AS I’M IN LOVE WITH HIM BUT WE BOTH AGREED THAT THE KISS MEANT NOTHING SO WE’RE FINE.

FUCK.. okay I’ll get back to this in a minute because I made myself cry again.

Hold on.

Okay I’m back. And I’m actually fine now. Just a little bit of heartache. It flares up if I think about it so I just don’t think about it.

So sometimes when it sneaks up on me like that it just causes a little bit of a panic. We’re fine though. It’s passed and we’re fine.

Where was I? Where was I…. um… oh yeah. Sitting on that juicy ass--- um.. Sitting on Lan Zhan to keep him on the couch where it was safe and cushioned.

It worked for a bit. But apparently only because he wanted it to.

Somehow I forgot that the man can bench a fucking truck? So he just did a push up with me on his back while on the couch (Have you tried to do pushups on a cushioned surface? Please do not do this. Make sure you exercise on sturdy, solid surfaces or you will roll your wrists or something and I will not be held responsible for unsafe workout practices.)

SO Lan Zhan just pushed both of us up and I tumbled right off like I was made of fucking feathers.

No idea what he was planning to do.

At first he seemed worried about me because I tumbled. Which I think broke his train of thought away from what he’d originally planned? Or did he even have a plan to begin with?

FUck who knows. Not me!

Well anyway

I had a bold stroke of genius. Because how does Lan Zhan get me to stay put?

So I told him to sit and wait because I had a surprise for him and that I’d be really sad if he didn’t do it.

So he immediately assumed the lotus position and closed his eyes. Coulda been a fucking statue.

I stared for a second but then remembered he was drunk as FUCK and I had no time. So I rushed off and grabbed Bichen and Suibian so I could dump ‘em in his lap.

Fucking worked like a charm. Suibian didn’t stay too long because she always prefers my lap (aaaaaaaaaaaah my heart) but Bichen will always stay put when plopped on Lan Zhan’s lap. (I feel ya, li’l buddy. If I could get away with it I’d live there too).

Told him that he needed to be nice and calm for the bunnies and he nodded so seriously. He started to pet Bichen so carefully it was so sweet. The little bun flopped over right away. She loves her Lan Zhan so much. (Same)

Decided to try and get him to talk to me once he’d been quiet for a little while. I asked him what started all this anyway.

At first he said that he wanted to learn to be more tolerant to alcohol so that he could drink with me

Which is so fucking sweet but does not explain why he went so hard into it.

And I knew he’d seen his uncle earlier that day. So I pressed.

I won’t tell you all that he told me. But yeah. Family is complicated man.

But that part of the story.. That’s his story. I’m not sure if he even wants ME to know about it, so I’m definitely not telling you guys. Sorry. But please try to understand.

We talked for a long while and eventually he ended up falling asleep. I very carefully moved the bunnies to their pen, then picked him up and carried him off to bed too.

There’s something surreal about princess carrying Lan Zhan. Not gonna lie.

I wasn’t willing to leave him alone in case he woke up again so I just climbed into bed with him. Wrapped him up in my arms to make sure I’d wake up if he tried to leave (hopefully).

But he slept through the night.

It wasn’t until morning that he lurched out of bed and booked it to the bathroom. Poor guy.

I will never try to get him to drink again. With mornings that awful it’s just not worth it. Though admittedly he’d probably do okay if he just didn’t drink as MUCH as he did. Make I’ll get him a Mikes Hard? I know from talking to him since then that the wanting to be able to share a drink with me was genuine even if it wasn’t the only reason he was drinking. So maybe we can ease him into it. I mean Mikes hards are so weak that they may as well be virgin drinks so that should be safe?

I’ll talk to him about it later.

Anyway. I took care of him all morning and he was so miserable. (Even got to carry him again. He was so worn out he barely protested).

I brought him back to bed with some aspirin and some water. I should have made him drink some the previous night but I guess with how crazy that night was maybe I can be forgiven for that at least.

I gave him some kisses on his face because at that point it was our thing??? (Because… what were we??? Well now we’re back to just friends I think. After… after the kiss that meant nothing.)

Fuck.

Okay don’t think about it. We were… we were something… but now we’re just friends. And that’s just… how it is. Because i fucked up. Because of course I fucked up.

I let him take a nap and watched something trashy on TV. Eventually he shlumped out of bed (as much as Lan Zhan ever schlumps which is not a lot) and crashed onto the couch next to me.

We talked some more and he tried to apologize to me. I wasn’t gonna hear it. I got a bit of a more sober re-telling of the reason he was drinking and I did my part to listen.

Despite how much I talk, I can actually listen if the occasion calls for it! Surprising, I know.

We went to bed again eventually after watching more garbage TV together.

And uh.. Yeah…

That’s the adventures of Drunk Lan Zhan.

Sorry I know some of the details are probably wrong. It’s been a while and a lot happened. But yeah. That’s more or less it.

#wangxian #lan zhan #lan wangji #wei ying #wei wuxian #Long Post #(Modern AU!)

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nodesiretogrowup · 4 years

Text

LET’S GET READY TO RE-CAAAAAAAAP

“I have numerous science-based questions” I mean, same. It also sets up that Huey is gonna be out of his element this episode

SCROOGE HAS NO TIME FOR SCIENCE

“I AM THAT CHAMPION.” A bit full of yourself there. I couldn’t hear this line without saying “I’M. THAT. HERO.” Oh VeggieTales, you’ll always be with me

THEY ALL LOOK SO ADORABLE!!

I like that Louie does a finger gun when Scrooge gets to him

Like I said earlier, I DO NOT care Scrooge already putting pressure on these kids

Poor Dewey seems like he’s the unfavorite, which is probably how Donald felt as well

Huey makes a good point and I do NOT like how dismissive Scrooge is of the twins

That being said...they totally killed someone in battle

SOMEDAY WE’LL FIND IT, THE RAINBOW CONNECTION!

Why didn’t Launchpad crash? I know he can land w/o crashing but it’s usually when he lands in water. THIS FEELS IMPORTANT SOMEHOW though it probably isn’t

“THEY FOUND A WAY TO MAKE RAINBOWS BETTER!” God, I love Webby

“This is the best day.” WEBBY, YOU ARE REACHING CRITICAL LEVELS OF ADORABLE

Birds with beards look odd

“Yeah, sure. Of course.” Poor Huey, magic and mythology aren’t his strong point

I love that it says Odin’s Closet over the shirts. It’s the little details

“Guess Louie knows what Louie’s doing today.” And then he disappears into the shirts. I can appreciate someone who knows what they’re about

I want ALL the shirts from this episode!

“WHOA, IT’S WRESTLING!” He looks so dang happy, it’s ADORABLE

“THIS IS AWESOME!” Chanting is fun

“So these guys just copied professional wrestling?” Huey, you’re form of logic is not welcome here

Does that mean Scrooge told someone about his battles and inspired them to create pro wrestling? I’m gonna go with that

“And they will love me for it!” Dewey, sweetie, that’s only how it works half the time

I loved all the man-snake stuff. Made me giggle

Man snake be THICC. HOT DAMN

I love the little pig ref. HE’S SO CUTE

Jormungandr knows how to pump up a crowd

So, like, is everyone in the audience technically DEAD?! That makes this episode slightly darker. I dig it

I wonder if Jormungandr sees Earth’s destruction as a good thing for Earth. Like if he genuinely thinks they’d be better off in Valhalla. Or if he’s just a bastard who wants to watch the world burn

Scrooge is a bit too into playing the heel

The way Scrooge moves and the faces he makes as the Millionaire Miser remind me of Glomgold

“I watch a lot of wrestling while I fly.” “Wait, while?” This exchange always cracks me up

“Uncle Scrooge is the greatest hero of all time.” “Huh, I guess not everyone thinks so.” I feel like this is foreshadowing later events

RIP Announcer Puffin

“DIBS ON ANNOUNCING!” A dude just got KO’d bro! Have a bit of respect

And the return of the dynamic sports announcer duo. Glad Huey got his badge

I NEED MORE WRESTLING ANNOUNCER LP

Strongbeard is DOPE

“How did you know that?” “Just calling it like I see it. WRESTLING!” The real reason Launchpad knows is because he’s actually Thor but doesn’t remember. I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

FEAR THE BEARD

“What matters is I’m doing the right thing.” I don’t know, you really seem to enjoy being a heel

This whole match is great

Dewey, there ARE NO RULES IN WRESTLING. Plus you aren’t the ref, so you can’t make that call

I have very inappropriate jokes go through my head when only one arm absorbs the beard energy

“I am so confused.” CONSTANT MOOD

DID SCROOGE NARUTO RUN AT STRONGBEARD?!

I like that Scrooge dives onto him the same way he dives into his bin

LP is so excited he pushes Huey out of the way for NO REASON

HOLY FUCK THAT DUDE THREW A CHAIR AT A CHILD!

All the bone cracking in this episode made me uncomfortable, as in my bones hurt during it

“He is such a good guy.” I’d say he’s a fair guy, not necessarily a good guy

“Which two of you will fight for me?” Webby has been waiting for this moment her WHOLE LIFE

Louie, always taking time to make that money

Who gave him a shirt cannon?!

I love that the dude comes up wearing the shirt

Dewey just slaps Scrooge in the face

Champ POPular! Too cute! I love his hair and outfit. Though I don’t think Champ POPular’s “too popular to hate.” If anything he might annoy people due to his popularity

I thought he was gonna pull out yo-yos as his “finishing touch” and I was sad when it was lollipops even though that makes more sense. BRING BACK THE YO-YOS!

“Do all the fighting and make sure he doesn’t die.” That is a valid concern

WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU! I’D KNOW IT ANYWHERE

Huey taking notes is adorable

“Just in time for the tag-team round.” “Wait, they’re playing tag now?! MAN!” I love how Danny says MAN

How does Huey not know what a tag-team is? It’s a pretty common term

I love Launchpad’s reading face

Dewey has red, blue, and green lollipops. Cute

“HE’S THROWING LOLLIPOPS BECAUSE HE THINKS WE’RE SUCKERS!” That took me off guard and I laughed so hard

“I’ve known you my whole life, I kinda knew how this would play out.” Louie is genre savvy. Perhaps too savvy. He’s gonna figure out he’s in a tv show

“More like Champ POP..ulation zero because he has no friends...in Friendtown.” I fail to see how that was any worse than LP’s “more like Champ UN-POPular.”

“WE HATE YOU NOW!” Tough crowd

Huey’s face after that. I just want to pinch his lil cheeks

WEBBY DON’T NEED NO WRESTLER NAME

It TOTALLY went over my head that they censored Hela with Hecka (at least they used her better than the MCU did. WE COULD HAVE HAD SO MUCH BETTER)

I would let her pin me to the mat and crush my skull in

“Oh, COME ON, THIS is what you like?! A creepy goth and her pet dog!” SHUT UP, DEWEY, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT! I’m surprised Webby didn’t slap him for the “creepy goth” comment seeing as Lena is goth and misunderstood

“HECKA YEAH! HECKA YEAH!” SHE’S SO COOL AND SEXY AND SHE HAS A DOG

Poor Huey, he’s doing his best. Hope he takes a shower later because he got pretty sweaty

HECKA COULD STEP ON ME AND I’D SAY THANK YOU

Why did Huey have all those corn puns?

“YOU’RE THE WORST! YOU’RE THE WORST!” It’s just not Huey’s day

“You don’t have to try to make it sound great, it already is.” Did this remind anyone else of Dewey’s “don’t overthink it” advice to Launchpad from Double-O Duck? He’s doing his best to help Huey

I WANT HECKA TO DESTROY ME

“EMBRACE THE BOOZE BOOS.”

Poor Dewey

WEBBY IS A BEAST! SHE WAS BORN FOR THIS!

“EMBRACE YOUR INNER HEEL!” Cuz being a heel is fun!

DUDE, WEBBY TOOK DOWN THE GODDESS OF DEATH WITH NOTHING BUT HER LEGS AND THIGHS! WE STAN!

I like that Fenny has knee pads on

“AW, YOU’RE SO DANGEROUS AND CUTE! I JUST WANT TO PET YOUR LITTLE BELLY!” WEBBY IS ME

“A classic ‘who’s a good boy?’ gambit!” AND I’D FALL FOR IT TOO! SUCH A GOOD BOI

“Wait, am I the Launchpad here?” Bitch, you WISH

“YOU CAN’T GIVE CANDY TO A DOG!” This is why you don’t have a pet, Dewey

“WHOA, back from THE DEAD for the QUEEN of the DEAD!”

Kind of a dick move, Louie

AIR GUITAR!

Jormungandr looks like a Masters of the Universe knock-off toy

WHO’S A GOOD BOI? YOU ARE!

“With a toxic personality” I think you’re projecting a bit, Jormungandr

How does Huey not know what a battle royale is? That is a very common term! Hell, there is a well known book and movie with that title!

“I’m just a humble, noble snake man of the people.” Why does the term snake man make me laugh so much?

WOY REFERENCE FTW

Dewey needs a hug! And some therapy would probably be a good idea

Scrooge’s speech started on a good note then went downhill FAST

“And lastly, I’ll use the dust of your bones as sweetener in my tea.” DAMN

“TOO FAR!” I DON’T THINK IT’S FAR ENOUGH! TELL HIM HOW YOU WILL BATHE IN HIS BLOOD

FUCK YEAH BEAKLEY!

SHE GAVE HIM THE CHAIR! I think this CONFIRMS Beakley as a wrestling fan

“I know we’re supposed to take over for Scrooge one day, but do you ever wonder if maybe we’re not cut out for it?” YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO WONDER THOSE THINGS AT ALL!

Louie’s like WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT!

“Be LP” My new mantra

Aw, Louie sees Dewey as a hero. Like how LP saw Drake as a hero. I think @drakepad is onto something, this scene and the fight scene seem WAAAAY too much like Drake’s intro to be just a coincidence

I keep saying this, but Louie should consider a career in motivational speaking. He knows what people need to hear

“Let’s do this!” “I don’t know.” “Let’s Dewey this?” “I’m in.”

“I’LL SHED YOUR SKIN FOR YOU!” If he hadn’t of had an old man back moment that would have been a BRUTAL CUT

OMG WAS LAUNCHPAD WEARING THAT THE WHOLE TIME? You see his clothes fly off when he jumps in the ring

“Whoa. In a COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED TWIST, the announcer was Captain Crash THIS WHOLE TIME!” LP does underground wrestling matches in his spare time, TELL ME I’M WRONG

“YOUR CATCHPHRASES ARE FORCED!” I agree, Dewey could have done WAY BETTER

I like Louie just GLARING at the dude who insulted Dewey’s catchphrase

LP looks so proud of Huey

“I don’t care at all, why should I?” Methinks the snake man doth protest too much

I like how Jormungandr’s pupils are thinner during the climax. It shows off his true nature

Dewey should have been the one to do a spin attack, ya know, cuz he’s Sonic? I’ll go now

“The Pop never Stops.” That was better

WHERE ARE ALL THESE CHAIRS COMING FROM?!

I LEGIT thought Strongbeard was gonna throw Dewey his axe and I was like Dewey wouldn’t be able to lift that

SUPER SAIYAN DEWEY! Also was that a TIGER SNARL?

I like the ice pack on Launchpad’s head. Just because he can take a lot of damage doesn’t mean that LP is immune to pain

I like that the crowd CHANGED THEIR BANNERS! Nice

LOUIE AND WEBBY LOOKED SO CUTE!

LP tearing up

“A true people’s hero” I feel like that phrase will come back in relation to other characters (cough DW cough)

Scrooge is such a little shit, it’s kind of adorable

THAT END SHOT! THAT SONG!

This was a SUPER FUN EPISODE! I couldn’t really tell where they were going and I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT! I wish we had gotten Huey in some wrestling gear but maybe next time. I like the message that doing the right thing isn’t always popular but I kind of feel like Dewey getting the crowd on his side muddled the message somewhat. Poor Dewey needs therapy or something so he doesn’t feel like he needs CONSTANT approval. Again, he’s 11 YEARS OLD and shouldn’t be put into such a serious position. LP was VIP this episode. I’m bummed we’re on hiatus again, but WHAT an episode to end on!

#ducktales #dt spoilers

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personne-reblogs · 4 years

Note

Hello! Idk if you still accepting ficlet prompt or not, but if you do, would you mind if I request a combination of 2 fluff prompts between 52. “i’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.” and 18. “are you that desperate?” “for you, yes.”, for OPM ship Batarou? Thank you very much 🙏💖

Whoopsie, I went a little wild with this one... well, you didn’t give me any word count and I was very inspired by the shameless flirt so I included prompts 55, 61, 62 and 63 as well. Thanks Anon, I had so much fun!! Hope y’all will like it!

Fandom: One Punch Man Ship: Batarou Word count: 4k Summary: Lately, Badd has been haunted by a ghost. Kinda. It looks like a guy with white spiky hair, but Badd's the only one to see it. It's following him everywhere, and it's able to help him fight monsters, and it Won't. Stop. Flirting.

Read under the cut or read on AO3!

A Ghost Story

***

There have been better days, Badd sighs to himself. The rain that ruined his carefully stylished hair this morning, the Hero Association meeting that took his entire afternoon, the busy traffic that almost made him late for his ice cream appointment with Zenko, the empty fridge that has him walking to the nearest nightshop at this late hour.

“You look amazing tonight,” a predatory voice purrs behind him.

Ah, yes. And the ghost that has been following him for days and won’t shut the fuck up.

“You’re still here, huh?” Badd asks without thinking, and immediately regrets it.

“Not like I’ve got anywhere else to be, dumbass,” the ghost replies, and Badd suddenly feels tired. He’s heard this shit, like, a thousand times already, and it’s been less than a week. “You should have registered by now. Nobody’s that stupid.”

“Hey, watch it, asshole,” Badd grunts defensively. “‘s been a long day, okay?”

“Oh yeah? How come I didn’t see any of that?”

There’s a smirk in the ghost’s tone, and Badd doesn’t even need to turn around to know there’s a teasing look printed on its face.

“Not every hard day is about fighting, y’know. Regular human stuff is exhausting too.”

“Right,” the ghost says, and there’s a pout in that.

Badd walks through the night shop's door and automatically goes for the drink aisle. He knows the ghost comes in too, but it mercifully keeps quiet.

It first appeared after Badd killed a random tiger-level monster on his way back from Zenko’s school. It has the form of a dude with strange white, spiky hair. A dude who looks like he practises a lot of sport - something contact-ish, martial arts, maybe. At first Badd thought it really was a random guy that had arrived after the monster was dead, but then the thing had followed him everywhere, claiming it was stuck with him, and Badd had realized he was the only one to see it. Creepy.

Now the ghost - that’s all Badd can think of to describe it - is part of his life, whether he likes it or not. It usually appears at night, when it’s dark outside, maybe cuz it doesn’t like daylight or some shit. Except it also appears each time Badd is in a fight. Even in plain day. Hell if he knows why.

“Keep the change,” he tells the cashier before heading back home with a fresh bottle of coke. He’s addicted to it these days. Can’t sleep early, so he might as well treat himself with something sweet while he endures endless conversations with the thing.

“I’ve always wanted to try it,” the ghost says conversationally as soon as they’re out in the street, because of course it won’t keep quiet any longer. God, Badd feels so tired.

“I’d gladly share it with you, but, you know,” he replies as mockingly as he can, turning around and slightly shaking the bottle before opening it and taking a long sip. He makes a show of savouring it just because he can and the thing can’t. It can’t touch anything real, actually, and isn’t that a fucking ghost thing?

Except it does manage to hit monsters in fights. It has happened before. Weird.

The ghost narrows its eyes at him and crosses its arms, but a twisted smile stretches its lips.

“Yeah, but you offered anyways. See? You’re cute when you’re half asleep.”

It really Won’t. Stop. Teasing.

Will it?

***

It’s two in the afternoon when he gets a call from the Hero Association. There’s a demon level threat across town, he’s the closest S-class hero around. He immediately goes to the location they sent him - he was bored anyway.

He’s surprised by the looks of the monster once he’s there. For its level, it happens to be… small, actually. Not even the size of a human being. It jumps in and out of sight, hides behind public bins, and destroys buildings as if they were nothing.

Shit. That one’s gonna be a pain in the ass.

“Fucking finally,” an unexpected, hungry voice hisses behind him, and he realizes he almost forgot about The Thing.

It’s been two entire weeks and he almost bloody forgot.

“Stay outta my way,” Badd orders, his grip tightening on his bat, his eyes searching the place to find the monster back. It’s gonna be complicated enough without the ghost distracting him.

“Yeah, right,” the voice laughs next to him.

“Dude, I really have no time for yer -”

He stops mid-sentence because there is suddenly a building collapsing beside him, and he doesn’t even have time to swear before he gets a glimpse of the monster across the street. It seems like it is avoiding contact, staying out of reach -

And then, in a blur, the ghost rushes past him to throw itself on the monster.

Literally.

He can’t make out what happens after that, not amongst the dust from the demolition, so he runs after them.

When he finds them back, the monster lies motionless on the floor. The ghost is casually sitting on a rubble, an arm thrown around its knee, a ferocious smile spreading wide on its face.

“Gosh, I’ve missed this,” it says as if it were talking about going for a walk in the sun.

It looks that refreshed, at least. Neat.

“What the shit?!” Badd barks, because even though he’s impressed, he doesn’t like losing control of the situation.

“Not the first time I give you a hand, you know. No big deal.”

“I would’ve handled this perfectly well on my own, thank you very much.”

“Yeah, and you would’ve destroyed the entire fucking city, so, you’re welcome.”

“Ghost, I swear -”

“Oh, honey, I thought we were past that,” the ghost says with an exaggerated hurt look.

“Past what?” Badd asks confusedly.

“I have a name, you know.”

“No, I don’t.”

“What?”

The ghost looks genuinely surprised, and it shouldn’t, but it makes Badd feel extremely satisfied.

“You never mentioned it. Your name.”

“I - really?”

The ghost shakes its head with an incredulous chuckle. It gets up from the rubble, comes a few steps closer, and presents Badd its hand.

“Call me Garou.”

Badd shouldn’t try to shake that hand. It doesn’t exist. His own hand would pass through it and he’d look like a fucking moron.

But he’s curious, so he does it anyway.

And it turns out it feels exactly like a regular handshake.

“Hi. I’m Badd.”

***

He his a martial art type of guy.

Badd has seen him in enough fights to know for sure now. It’s not just the vibe and the looks - whenever they’re in a fight, the ghost Garou uses sharp, precise techniques Badd could only dream of.

Not that he’s interested in martial arts, but he has to admit it’s quite effective.

Especially when Garou single-handedly brings strong ass opponents down like that.

Hot.

“Pfff, no fun,” Garou sighs, disappointed, before coming back to Badd. He always does. Something to do with him being physically unable to wander too far away from his human host, or some shit.

“It isn’t supposed to be fun, but whatever,” Badd points out while poking at his own enemy with his bat, just to check. It’s dead alright.

“You say that because you’re not strong enough to have a good time.”

“Right,” Badd says. He has given up on reacting to Garou’s teasing. It’s no use.

“Maybe you’d be more useful in fights if you weren’t so busy staring at me,” Garou goes on.

Badd only raises a very unamused eyebrow at him.

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice,” his ghost insists with that stupid, smug expression of his. He even - wait, was that a bloody wink?

“Urgh, I’m gonna be sick,” Badd tiredly mumbles as he turns around to leave the scene. Now that the fight is over, Garou will soon disappear for the rest of the day. Meanwhile, there’s a piano recital Badd needs to attend.

To be honest, he’s getting used to this whole ghost thing. Garou can handle himself in a fight. Hell, he can even be of some real use, Badd has to give him that.

Such a shame he’s that much of a big mouth. It’s been almost a month now, and his lame pickup lines still exhaust him.

***

When the evening is quiet and the weather is soft, Badd loves to just sit on the wooden stairs behind his house and chill. Zenko often joins him, and they chat, or she just reads a book until it’s time for her to get to bed.

That time was half an hour ago. Now Badd is alone with Tama, purring loudly in his lap as he pets her, and he simply enjoys doing nothing.

He doesn’t really notice the nightfall.

“It’s late,” a familiar voice says in a sugar-coated tone. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

Badd tilts his head to find his ghost in his usual sitting position, one elbow casually resting on his knee, a few steps higher.

He recognizes the question for what it actually is: an attempt at starting some small talk. He’s not in the mood, so he shrugs, and suppresses a grimace when the gesture makes his bandaged shoulders sting a bit. Then he shifts to find a more comfortable position and resumes petting Tama without answering.

Garou doesn’t insist. Nice.

They spend a moment like that, in silence, and with the light breeze brushing his washed hair, Badd thinks he could fall asleep right there. The adrenaline of the fight he’s had this afternoon has finally worn off, and he feels tired, but in a good way - it’s a physical weariness, not the nervous tension he’s been used to lately.

After a while, his ghost is talking again, and it would annoy Badd if not for the genuine curiosity in his voice.

“Just wanted to ask, about earlier… How did you do that?”

“What d’ya mean?”

“I saw that monster beat the shit out of you,” Garou says, and he sounds suspicious. “You were out, man. How the fuck did you get up and win after that?”

“Not thanks to you, asshole,” Badd groans, but there isn’t any bite to it. He’s actually smirking a little.

“That kind of brute? Not my style,” his ghost snorts with a disgusted expression. “Besides, I wanted to see how you’d manage without me, and… shit, I still don’t know what I’ve seen.”

Badd doesn’t know what he’s done to make an impression on fucking Killing Machine Garou, but hell if he doesn’t secretly feel very pleased.

“Just some good old fighting spirit,” he replies in a carefully neutral tone.

“Come again?”

“Y’know. When you get all angry at stuff. Makes you go wild.”

“You… were angry,” Garou repeats incredulously.

“Well, duh! Wasn’t gonna let that jackass waste any more of my time,” Badd explains blandly, and he doesn’t get what’s so hard to understand.

He turns to watch Garou, and catches him staring right back, eyes wide in a shocked expression. Then the ghost bursts out laughing, and it startles Badd, because it isn’t one of his damn chuckles: it’s an actual, full-throated laugh.

“What?” he asks, not knowing if he should feel cheerful or offended.

“You’re really something else,” Garou wheezes, theatrically pretending to wipe a tear away. “Man, I wish you’d killed my last host sooner - where were you all this time?!”

“You mean, that tiger level monster back when I met ya?”

“Yep,” Garou nods, sobering up a little. “I’ve been stuck with it for years. Never been so bored in my whole sorry existence. The bastard spent most of its time hiding from humans.”

“Why didn’t you kill it?”

“Because I can’t, obviously. I can touch my hosts, but I’m physically unable to harm them. I thought you’d figured that much out,” Garou explains, and his voice is regaining its teasing tone already.

“So that’s why you still haven’t tried to killed me,” Badd deadpans, feeling a little more up for banter than a moment ago.

“That, and also, who would you talk to if you didn’t have me?”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s pretend I’m not the one who’d kick your ass, why don’t we.”

“SAY WHAT??”

***

Garou doesn’t know exactly where he is during the day, when his host isn’t involved in a fight. Time passes differently, and for the most of it, he isn’t really conscious. It’s like he’s in some kind of stasis. And then, when he’s awake, he’s full of energy in a way humans probably can’t imagine. He wants to talk, to run, to explode and to scream. He wants to exist.

That’s why he likes fighting so much. It makes him feel useful. It makes him feel real. It’s the proof that he can leave his mark on a world he sometimes doubts he’s a part of. He’s had countless years to train, and he’s become strong - strong enough that he’s having a good time whatever the enemy.

But, well, fighting isn’t everything. He’s had dozens of hosts, and he’s never been able to walk too far away from them without slipping into his awkward rest mode again - only to find himself stuck with the same host when he wakes up again. Which always turns up to be incredibly boring. Between humans who mostly sleep at night and monsters who sometimes don’t talk at all, Garou has learnt the hard way that he’s, in fact, a talkative guy. And isn’t that a great thing to be when the only being in the whole universe who can see and hear you is your current host?

Garou has had his fair share of boredom, to say the least.

“Hey, dipshit, you awake?”

That’s why he’s more than happy with his new host.

“When have you seen me sleep before?” Garou replies with a playful smirk, tilting his head towards the voice.

It’s dark, and he’s outside, leaning his shoulder against the external wall of the house, arms crossed onto his chest. Badd is standing a few paces further and is giving him a vaguely annoyed look.

“Haven’t heard what I just said, have ya? We’re goin’ for a walk. Come on.”

“Why, babe, it almost sounds like a date,” Garou teases in his cheesiest tone.

“We’re out of food for Tama,” Badd goes on, unbothered, as if Garou hadn’t spoken at all. Damn, he’s good at ignoring him.

“Guess it can’t be helped,” Garou sighs loudly, trying very hard not to give away how eager he actually is to just… do something. Anything.

“Don’t make that face. We’ll make a lil’ detour by that shitty park - you know the one. Who knows what we might find there, at such an hour?” Badd grins, shifting his grip on his bat, and it seems like he’s eager, too.

Yeah, Garou thinks with an amused expression as he follows Badd into the street, that’s got to be his best host ever. Badd does sleep, of course, but far less than the average human - or, well, much later, so there’s that. He’s a hero, so he’s involved in more battles than Garou can count - and he’s good at fighting, in his own way. Not exactly the fast, calculated fighting Garou is used to, but rather a raw, brutal style, with a strength and a resilience that has forced Garou’s admiration more than once (meaning his host probably won’t die on him anytime soon - not that Garou would let that happen, anyway). Last but not least, Badd is fun to talk to, even if Garou’s constant teasing never seems to pull any reaction out of him - and that’s new, because all his previous hosts had let him get to their nerves so easily, but Badd won’t even acknowledge his little game, which is fun, too.

It’s fun because it allows him to push as far as he wants without risking damaging the balance they have found, and the domesticity of it is making him more relaxed than he’s ever been.

The park is quiet and empty when they get there. Garou tries not to feel frustrated, and fails. He’s glad he can stretch his legs a little, but he really could use some action right now. It’s been days since they last were in a fight.

“Shit, we’ll have to actually buy food for your stupid cat, won’t we,” Garou mutters.

“Don’t call her that,” Badd snaps, looking down at his phone. “But yeah, looks like everything’s fine tonight. Let’s go before the nightshop closes.”

So Badd won’t react to shameless flirting, but he will defend his goddamn cat. Garou smiles as he stores the information for later use, and makes to turn around and leave - except he doesn’t.

He suddenly feels like his whole body is being weighed down. He frowns down at his feet and insists.

He stays perfectly still.

“Well, well,” a smug voice says, “That’s a pretty friend you’ve got here, Metal Bat.”

Garou furrows his brow harder. There’s a man approaching - a random dude, all dressed up in a suit, hands in his pockets. On Garou’s left, Badd moves freely to face the newcomer.

“I dunno what yer talkin’ about,” his host says, sounding only mildly annoyed. “Who the fuck are you?”

“Thomas J. Lambert, at your service,” the guy introduces himself with assurance as he comes to a stop right before Badd. His attitude exhales cockiness and audacity. Garou already hates him.

“Never heard of ya,” Badd casually drops, as unimpressed as he always is. Which seems to suck a little of the fun out of the guy. Oh, he’s really good at this.

“Well, let’s just say that I’m an esper with… very specific abilities,” the douchebag goes on, and he sounds just a tad irritated. “I can feel the aura of your pet from miles away,” he adds, not even bothering to glance in Garou’s direction.

What a prick.

“I can hear you, y’know,” Garou interjects.

“And I can interact with it, too. My power is keeping it paralyzed as we talk,” Thomas Jerk What’s-His-Name goes on, and he still won’t spare a glance at Garou. Badd does, though.

“Ya better hurry up and spit out what ya wanna say already,” he mutters, expression halfway between nonplussed and upset.

“It’s simple, really. I can rid you of this parasite - in exchange for financial compensation, naturally.”

“Oi! I’m right here,” Garou repeats louder, because he is beginning to lose his patience. He tries against his invisible restraints, without success.

His host is silent for long enough that Garou looks back up at him, and he is stunned to see Badd is grinning slightly.

Like he finds this whole situation funny.

The bastard.

“I’d make you a special price, of course,” Mr Jackass is still saying. “It would be my pleasure to help a S-Class hero out. What do you say?”

There’s a short silence.

Then Badd makes the most self-satisfied, shit-eating smile Garou has ever seen.

“How much would that be, exactly?”

“YOU ABSOLUTE ASSHO-”

“OKAY! Okay! Jesus,” Badd laughs, before turning back to the guy. “Sorry, fella, that’s… kind of you, I guess? but I’m not interested.”

“Are you certain, sir? Just think about it,” the son of a bitch insists. “I’m sure a hero like you could use a little peace at night.”

“Nah, I’m fine, thanks. Let him go, we’re moving,” Badd says as he begins to walk towards the exit of the park - only for the guy to block his way, hands lifted in a soothing attitude.

“What about the next host, then? Surely you wouldn’t willfully condemn someone to wear that burden after you.”

“Someone would hafta kill me first, and it ain’t for so soon.” Badd is probably starting to feel pissed, because he’s articulating every word distinctly, voice low and threatening. “I said I’m not interested. Let. Him. Go.”

The brat suddenly seems hesitant, but the pressure around Garou’s body doesn’t lessen. What is he playing at? No one in their right mind would want to get on Badd’s ner-

“I didn’t want it to come to this,” the walnut says, and his voice doesn’t sound human at all anymore.

Three things happen simultaneously. The force blocking Garou slightly diminishes, allowing him to take a single, difficult step forward. Badd falls down on one knee, as if he is now being crushed. And the suit of the esper tears itself apart, revealing a slender figure with what looks like a second pair of arms.

A monster.

“Can’t say I was expecting to run into Metal Bat today,” the monster crackles, and its face doesn’t have anything human left either. “But you happen to be linked to a very powerful creature. I need to kill it to absorb its energy.”

“As if,” Garou snarls, taking another heavy step forward, struggling to regain more control over his body. Come on. Come on!

“I can’t have you protecting that thing,” the monster goes on, as if it doesn’t know how to shut the fuck up anymore. “But I don’t mean you any harm. We don’t have to be enemies. I’ll just keep you still while I take care of it.”

From the corner of his eye, Garou sees Badd brace himself on his bat and start to get up, but the monster points a finger at him, and he’s sent back to his knees.

The pressure on Garou loosens up a little more.

That fucker can’t immobilize us both completely, he realizes.

He tentatively straightens himself up and rolls his shoulders. His muscles feel heavy and slow as they strain against the still-there tension, but they obey him. He smirks. I can work with that.

“Your pet is still too weakened to overcome me, any-”

The monster is interrupted as Garou tackles it to the ground.

The close up fight is messy - a bit too much for Garou’s liking. He has to put all his focus on every move he makes, and even like that, he can feel how uncharacteristically slow and weak his attacks are.

“Shit,” he hisses against his better judgement when the monster hits him square in the shoulder. It doesn’t exactly hurt, but it does make him take a step back, and damn, he should have ducked that one.

He knows he should go for the arms. If he could tear one or two off, he’d have more room to use his usual techniques. But the esper knows better than to let Garou get too close, which is infuriating. It constantly jumps just out of reach, and only hits when Garou’s momentum prevents him from reacting in time.

I could use some fucking fighting spirit right now, Garou thinks, and he almost chuckles at the thought. Badd’s style isn’t always the most refined, but in Garou’s position, he’d probably still have enough raw strength to beat the shit out of that motherfucker.

Shame Badd isn’t in Garou’s position. The esper had said it’d concentrate on keeping the hero out of this, which is why Garou can move at all. Big fucking A.

Garou is pulled out of his thoughts as something punches him hard in the stomach, and the hit sends him flying a few feet away. “Dammit,” he swears as he raises to his feet again, reaching to the trail of blood that leaks from his mouth with trembling fingers.

He’s already getting tired.

And the monster only seems to become faster with each passing moment.

Its attacks still aren’t powerful enough to cause any serious injury, but time isn’t playing in Garou’s favor here.

I need to end this, he thinks. The sooner the better. He takes a deep breath and shifts his weight on his feet. He won’t win by his usual ways. He needs to rely less on the speed he currently doesn’t have, and to focus more on the few hits he can land if he wants to -

Right behind him, the monster emits something that might be a giggle, and Garou realizes it’s must closer than he’d thought.

He startles, turns on his heels, puts his guard up and braces himself -

The monster is hit by a metal bat on its side and violently crushes into the trees nearby, leaving greenish, fuming fluids all over the place.

Badd is standing in its place, and his face is maculated in red.

“You’re bleeding,” his host informs him, slightly out of breath.

Garou can’t believe this guy.

“I’m - ?! Dude, your face! What happened?”

“Hit myself,” Badd shrugs, swinging his now red-and-green bat on his shoulder, keeping an eye on the monster’s form where it landed. “To clear my mind of that jerk’s shit.”

“You -”

Garou trails off, because he needs a while to process this. A few paces away, the monster wiggles sluggishly - it isn’t dead yet, as the slight pressure still weighting Garou down should have let him know, and they should go on and finish it now, but he’s too stunned to get a move on.

So instead, he blinks and lets himself slip into more familiar ground as he cracks a flirtatious smile.

“Really? You hit your own head with your fucking bat just to give me a hand?” he grins cockily. “Man, are you that desperate?”

“For you, yes,” Badd states - he doesn’t whisper it, he doesn’t shy away from it, he states it, loud and plain, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Like it doesn’t make Garou suddenly feel warm all over.

For the first time ever, he doesn’t know what to say.

“Oh, so you’re the biggest bloody flirt there is, but I can’t flirt back?” Badd teases him with an all too knowing grin, before casually walking to the monster and delivering it the final blow.

Garou can feel his invisible restrains vanishing, but he still doesn’t know how to move. Or how to talk, for that matter.

“Come on,” Badd laughs as he shakes his bat to rid it of the monster’s gore. “If we run, we can make it to the nightshop in time to buy Tama’s food.”

“Wait-” Garou yells after him. “Wait, did you actually -”

“Come on!” Badd yells back, tone playful, and he’s already gone.

For a few more seconds, Garou just stands there, arms stupidly hanging at his sides, mind gone completely blank. Then a wide, amused, unbelieving smile spreads on his face, and he chases after Badd.

He’s blushing hard, but he can’t bring himself to care.

Badd cares.

And they have all the time in their intertwined lives to figure things out.

#one punch man #opm #ask #prompt #garou #metal bat #badd #batarou #shameless flirt #ghost story #kinda #ficlet #fic #original content

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drops-of-moonlights · 4 years

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Confrontation, A Winx Redux AU short

Roughly 2k words, kinda hurt/confort... I think. Stella, Riven, a diner, and the aftermath of the incident at Red Fountain’s Academic Showcase. (AO3)

It was 9PM, she was definitely breaking curfew, and Griselda will definitely give her the earful of her life when she gets back, but she didn’t care enough right now. Not after what happened at the Academic Showcase two days ago.

Bloom has only come out of her room to grab some food occasionally and she still doesn’t want to talk, and from what Brandon told her Sky is in more or less the same situation. She didn’t even want to imagine how Diaspro was feeling - she saw the reluctance in her speech on the news earlier that day and she was glad the redhead hadn’t seen it yet. She looked at the map on her phone to see if she was in the right direction, and finally arrived at the small diner she was heading to, recognizing the black motorcycle parked near the entrance. It was decently filled and the aroma of food was certainly promising, and that meant that she would not be noticed, even if her unusual dark clothes helped her blend in regardless. She started looking for a specific booth until she saw him.

“Hey, Riven” - she said with a familiar affection, even if the tone was pretty monotone - she was not in the best of moods. He seemed to be the same, if his expression was to be considered. “Hey yourself, Stella.”

She sat down opposite from him, and after quietly ordering their food they remained like that, Riven looking at her and she looking at the window absentmindedly, or at least she hoped that’s how she looked like. The silence finally broke with a question.

“So, was that why you asked me to not speak with you at all last year? The whole switch thing?” His tone sounded slightly hurt, but it was mostly just genuine curiosity. So he’s mad but not super mad, Stella thought to herself, so hopefully I can explain it without much issue. “More or less, yes.” She finally looked at him, and realized it might be more than just “mad”.

His eyes were very red, and while he tried to hide it a bit with that scowl, it was clear he had cried a bit. He was always bad with holding back tears.

“So for an entire year, I couldn’t hang with one of my best friends because of just some weirdass switch between a prince and his squire? For some marriage arrangement or whatever that shit was? Why the fuck did you even have to do with all that?!” He kept the tone low since they were in public, but it was clear he was hurting. From what she heard of what happened last year, she’s not surprised - and she really wished she had been there for him that time.

“More or less, yes”, she said again, before elaborating. “I was tasked to help with the cover of Prince Sky due to Eraklyon and Solaria’s ties, and as such anyone close to me that was not related to the Courts of Solaria or Eraklyon had to be cut off until it was deemed safe for Sky to reveal his identity”, she said, fully knowing how stupid that entire thing was. Erendor was being paranoid again and Samara only helped make that fear bigger, Sky knew how to use a sword and Brandon was always with him, he wasn’t in that much danger. She was happy her father agreed with her, but his hands were tied and the council accepted Eraklyon’s terms. She hated politics so much sometimes.

“So for an entire year, a year where I had one of the worst experiences of my life, a year I almost got expelled from Red Fountain, I could not talk with you, or even be near you, just because of some dumb royals deciding that you shouldn’t do all that?! For some dude?!” He wasn’t shouting yet, but he was getting close to. Her mind was telling her that she should try to calm him down, but her emotions acted first, her face twisting into a scowl matching his.

“Right, because I didn’t suffer anything at all that year no siree, not like I had to break up with my boyfriend for all this bullshit, not like I had to go through my parent’s divorce, not like I didn’t get actually fucking expelled from Alfea in the middle of the year for some dumb accident. No, only you suffered at all. Of course”, she practically hissed the last words, anger starting to overcome her. Riven looked ready to start actually yelling, but he stopped and had a deep breath. “Okay, fine. We both went through some shit, sorry I pretended you didn’t went through bad things. I mean that.” He did sound sincere and his expression had softened. She took a deep breath herself, and tried to see how to continue as their food got served. This was not how she expected their first conversation in a year and a half to go like this.

“Thank you for apologizing. I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have made it seem like what you went through was nothing.” she started eating some of the steak they had ordered - nice consistency, though it could use more spices - before continuing. “I heard the rumors. That had to be hell on you.”

Riven took a bite himself, and looked out the window into the streets of Magica City. “It was, though I’m happy I didn’t get fully expelled and got the chance to stay at Red Fountain. My mother was between furious and ultra comforting when she found out,” he let out a small, sad chuckle at the memory before turning, “but that’s not what we’re here to talk about, Cami.” He finally looked her directly in the eye, and she was genuinely surprised at both her nickname and the topic change. “How are you taking all this?”

“Well, if Musa ever talks to me again even if it’s just insults I’ll be glad”, she looked down at her steak again, a sad look on her face. “It feels like she took it worse than Bloom and she wasn’t even involved. Tecna’s been mostly checking up on Bloom every hour to see if she’s starting to get better with Flora, and Aisha’s both understanding of why all this happened and also wanting to punch Sky and Erendor in the face.” She thought of that for a little longer, and the mental image made her giggle a bit. “As for myself… well, it’s good that I can no longer have to keep that hidden. On the other hand,” she looked out the window again”, I might have lost Bloom as a friend forever.” She still had the fire fairy’s scream fresh in her mind, of how she was a liar, a bad friend, of how she could have prevented her all this by telling her. She didn’t tell herself that it was her fault, but she still had part on it and she couldn’t deny that. “You?”, she returned the question, despite having already heard the answer. “How are you taking all this, especially with… well, with the Darcy thing also happening.”

It had been a week or so since the Trix’s identities had been revealed, and from what she knew the Roccaluce Paladins had been searching for Icy, Darcy and Stormy for all that time. She knew thanks to Musa that he had become good friends with the Solarian Witch, and all this on top certainly would not have helped. “Well, this didn’t help with that I can tell you that much,” called it, “but I feel at least this made me forget about that if only for a little bit.”, he looked back at her, sadness starting to lift from his head. “I still think this was completely stupid-” “it was, trust me”, she interrupted, “-but politics are like that from what I remember you telling me. So I guess I’m fine with it… for now”, he falsely threatened in that annoying fake tough guy tone of his, and she let out a small laugh at that familiarity. “I will see if this can hold up.”

“Thank you for that, Riven. It’s nice that we can finally talk again.” She reached out and held his hand, a genuine smile forming. “I missed this.”

“I missed it too, Cami”, he held the same smile, and they both finally started eating in full, catching up on lost time.

----

They had just finished eating, and they were waiting for the bill, when Stella asked some final questions. “Hey, have you kept in touch with the guys at all?”, a memory coming back to her forgotten in the previous talks. “Because last thing I heard is that you straight up disappeared after the Showcase.” Brandon had called her earlier that day to update her on things on his end, and he had admitted on not having seen Riven at all since then. He in turn sheepishly scratched the back of his neck, hints of embarrassment on his cheeks. “Uh, I… kinda went to sulk on the city for two straight days and I might or might not have tried to look for Darcy myself.” Stella immediately put her hand on her forehead, exasperated. “Of course you did. You were always bad with this type of stuff.” She looked back at him concerned. “You should go back already, you dumbass! Sky is being enough of a hassle as is, you don’t need to add to their worrying.” He let out an awkward laugh. “Yeah, I really should, I honestly just called you on impulse and… kinda went from there.” You’re always like that, Riven, she thought for a second. “I’m going to see if I can help coax Sky out of his blanket fort, he owes us his side of the story as well, and I’ll see if I can convince him to talk to Bloom for you.”

“If you manage that I’ll be impressed, he’s almost as stubborn as you are,” she said with a cheeky smile, before turning it into a real one. “But thanks, Riven. I’m happy we did this.”

“I’m happy about it too, Cami. I’m still with my bike, you want a ride back to Alfea?” “I would appreciate that, cuz I kiiiiiiiiiinda wasted the Sceptre’s reserves on getting to the city.” It was Riven’s turn to smirk. “And you call me impulsive?”

“Oh shut up.” Her tone was angry, but she was smiling, and she felt like things were finally looking better for her.

#Winx Club #Winx Redux AU #Stella #Riven #Drops writes apparently

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praphit · 4 years

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1BR- “Get your own damned sandwich!”

I think we've all thought about running away at some point in time this year. Of course, with The Ronas, there's really nowhere to run (not in America at least). But, if we could just go somewhere, and start over...

I've done that a few times in my life, and I'm sure some of you have as well.

You get away from a life that you screwed up, and start some new life... so that you can screw that one up as well.

That's what we have here in "1BR".

A young woman (Sarah) runs from her life of anxiety, confusion, and daddy issues, and runs towards L.A. It IS the city of angels, after all.

She gets a new place out there and it appears to be perfect (outside of the subtly baleful music that's playing in the background).

If only we all had background music playing in our lives that warned us of what's to come... though, honestly, there were a few red flags that didn't require music for discernment:

#1 - The community was too diverse with no signs of strife.

Some of you have been trapped in your home with the "love of your life" who may only have a couple of differences than you. A half a year of lockdown and you're already seeking divorce. A whole community with a bunch of different people with a lot of differences, with no cracks in it?? - c'mon.

#2 - Sarah is immediately greeted by your stereotypically cute and perfect guy, who's single and way too friendly. I've had a lot of different homes, and I've never been greeted by someone that perfect. If they've got the cute/sexy thing down, there's usually an angry, obsessive, and jealous ex, who just got out of prison. Or sometimes she's nice and all, but she ends up being a witch... no an actual witch (no offense to you witches out there, but... you know).

Or sometimes they've got 8 kids or something... and they're all drug dealers or something... idk, Baltimore, man.

Point is there is no perfection out there, and on the rare occasion that you find it, they're probably a serial killer.

#3 - this woman

I can't get her character in "American Horror Story" out of my head (pic to the left... though that should be obvious. Imagine if it were the other way around:).

She (Naomi Grossman) is always playing some creepy character. If you see her you KNOW that something sinister is afoot.

This community has a set of principles that everyone must live by or else there's punishment (this punishment tends to start with being locked in a torture room with your only comforts being a mystery shake and a bed pan.

The principles are selflessness, openness, acceptance, and security.

They all sound good, but... if you take them to the extreme...

I'm sorry, but Imma be selfish when it comes to my food. Have y'all ever had a chicken bacon club from "Wawa"... omg. Some of you may be thinking "Wawa?" YES, WAWA! I'm tryna tell ya! People are always asking if they can have a bite.

Bleep no! Get your own damned sandwich! They would just have to punish me. When it comes to my food and my women I am straight up monogamous. I ain't sharing for shit!

As far as openness, they wanted Sarah to share about her first sexual experience... right??! - stuff like that! They were like "We have no secrets here."

Pssh, you gotta have some secrets! I've had people say to me "Rambling Praphit, I want to know everything about you." NO YOU DO NOT! And I don't want to know everything about you either! I'm not sure that we could function in America without our secrets.

It's not that these principles are bad, they're just taken to the extreme.

With everything that I just told you, there's plenty there for a good movie, unfortunately...

It's like all the producers felt like they needed was a premise. We get to know Sarah, but no one else in this new community. They're all kinda prisoners just like Sarah, and it would have been nice to see how others were dealing. I saw some people of color sprinkled in the community. Imagine their perspectives. Most of the torturing is done by the white people. Imagine the movie showing a group of white people "punishing" a black man for... idk... leaving the toilet seat up. That would be a whole different movie! Think how awkward that would be.

"Look, I know this LOOKS racist, but... "

Another thing is that Sarah disappears for a hot minute. They said that they made sure to end her relationships via social media, but no one followed up?! No one?! Especially since the way her relationships are cut would have been totally out of character for her. If I ever go missing you can bet that at least my debt collectors would find me. At the very least, I'd see one of those slips of paper (reminding me that I still owe 800 thousand dollars) skate under the torture room door.

The movie definitely plays on the fear of government having too much control over us, us being too compliant, and a fear of science; many things that we see people growing in fear of today. Fear not, people. This would never happen. Mainly, because we could never be that organized to build and sustain that type of cultish community.

We're all jerks! Think about it - we've all signed papers saying we won't or will do certain things, but... there's always those people who still don't pick-up their dog's poop. There are always those people who refuse to cut their grass. Just the other week, some random drunk dude passed out in my yard! We'd spend all of our time in the torture room. They'd have to build many rooms like that. We'd be a community of constant torture!

Between the poster for this film and the rating including “gore” in it. I expected, you know... lots of gore.

- not true. I mean, there were a couple of spots, but... nothing to hide under the covers over.

As scared as Sarah looks, I was expecting “Saw” levels of blood. Although, to be fair, it's clear that they didn't have the budget for that type of horror.

I also didn't like that Sarah was so submissive. Fight, woman! I mean she kinda fights at the end, but she's still so... ugh. Channel your inner Black Widow!

Grade: generous C- (a good early morning, start my day with thoughts of torture-provoked utopias type of story) It'll get you thinking a lil bit, but that's it... just a lil.

Sarah’s relationship with her one black friend is highlighted, cuz of course :) She was so much feistier than Sarah. That's the attitude I wanted to see! - maybe she should have been the lead.

Maybe a woman of color would have been better for the role. Imagine Cardi B being the lead in this movie:

She wouldn't have taken any of their shit.

Speaking of shit, she probably wouldn't have been shy about the use of that bed pan.

And think of what response she'd have to those "openness" questions about sex.

That's the movie I want!

#1br #horror #Horror Movies #john praphit #praphitproductions.com #cardi b #wap #naomi grossman #praphit #los angeles #wawa #Black Widow

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