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When the Shadows get Longer
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#the sentinel#horrormovies#superheroes#johnpraphit#praphitproductions.com#cats#cocaine#praphit#priests
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#MissionImpossible7#dead reckoning part 1#johnpraphit#praphitproductions.com#actionmovies#TomCruise#deodorant#moviereviews#Praphit#RebeccaFerguson#Pom#VanessaKirby#gentlemen#simonpegg#stunts
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#moviereviews#bones tv show#emily deschanel#david boreanaz#johnpraphit#praphitproductions.com#mentalhealth#the crowded room#Praphit#christianity#lgbtq#dial of destiny#hollywood#rants#run rabbit run
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Tv Ketchup #5
A lil longer than usual, but I had to pat tribute to Ted Lasso.
#Extraction2#johnpraphit#praphitproductions.com#TedLasso#Still#Blondes#Praphit#femalecharacters#inspiration#Barry#RosiePerez#WhiteMenCantJump#Youtube
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Across the Spider-Verse: MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE!
Is MORE always better?
You might say in response to that question - "Of course it is! What a stupid STUPID question!"
We all want more! - more food, more time, more clicks, more gossip, and most importantly, MORE MONEY.
If your boss offers you a raise, you're not going to say "No".
STUPID question!
On the other hand...
More food can sometimes be a problem.
More clicks and more money could make you arrogant.
How about more kids? - does that always work out?
More drugs? More plastic surgery (I won’t disrespect someone by putting a pic/gif here, but y’all have people in mind :)?
How about more Kim Kardashian's? There are so many.
Like The Black Eyed Peas once said "Whatchu gon do with all that junk? All that junk inside that trunk?"
If you don't know, but still acquire said junk, then you might have a problem!
Marvel wanted more universes/dimensions... do they know what they're doing? Idk, but we're all kinda skeptical.
DC wanted more than one Ezra Miller.
What the hell were they thinking?? Idk.
But, you know who did MORE really well?? - SONY, with "Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse"
If you don't know, that was pretty much a story about SONY knocking on this kid's door (Miles Morales),
and saying we're going to turn you into Spider-Man. And the people cheered for a black Spider-Man!
(Yes, he's Latino as well, but... we've claimed him. Tiger Wood's is ours. Barack Obama is ours. And so is Miles Morales :)
SONY said "MORE" - and we went into the Spider-Verse and found all kinds of Spider-People:
including Nic Cage, some Anime Spider-Girl, a white girl who kept winking and smiling at Miles (Gwen Stacy / Ghost-Spider), Peter, and a Pig.
Miles wasn't getting all of the attention any more, so he had to level-up, save the day, and get rid of the extra spider-people.
But, it WORKED! Great animation! Great story! It was exciting and funny! Some call it the best Spider-Man movie of all time...
until a lil bit ago when "Spider-Man: ACROSS the Spider-Verse" ( Part 1 ) came out.
SONY once again said "MORE!" And they cranked that "more meter" up as far as it could go.
We've still got Gwen, and she's still flirting with Miles.
Still got Peter / Spider-Dad
But we've also got Pavitr Prabhakar / Indian Spider-Man
Spider-Punk
Spider-Man 2099 (many people's favorite, from the comics)
A pregnant Spider-Woman
And so so so much more
And once again, Miles is trying to find a way to make them all go away...
well, most of them :)
Same great animation! Great story! Amazing voice actors! Somehow the MORE, still isn't too much! I want even MORE!
I would love more Spider-Story from all of these characters. But, this story is again Miles' , with some pleasant interruptions from Gwen's story. They're both just trying to live as spider-people, and still somehow be kids and relate to their families... while some force is always trying to kill them/destroy their universe.
Same formula as the first movie, but if it ain't broke...
Got a few villains here, but you'll have to decide who's the most villainous:
One of the Spider-People is a villain... kinda, I guess. (though to be fair, they believe they're the hero of the story... granted so does Thanos, and Kang, and Ron DeSantis) All bout POV, I suppose.
Spot -
- a goofy ass character who gets MORE scary the MORE power he attains.
Fate - a bit of a boogeyman for all of us
And I'd say Miles Morales. Only cuz he keeps screwing up., and keeps throwing tantrums. But, to be fair, again, he's only 15. How many 15 year olds would you trust to save the world? Maybe Greta Thunberg when she was 15, but that's it.
I don't have much of anything negative to say about this sequel.
It gets a lil corny at times with some of the Spider-Writing, but it is what it is.
Whenever you have a story about timelines and fate, things get a lil muddy, BUT it doesn't here, because the pace of this film is so fast (in a good way) that you don't have time to dwell on all of that.
A lot of speeches about self-discovery though... I'll say that.
This movie has a lot of heart, and for some it'll be too much.
If you're dealing with some emotional stuff right now, or you have teenagers... or you are a teenager, some of this might hit too close to home.
I don't remember having this many revelations that called for monologues when I was a teenager; seems unrealistic.
I remember just kinda... doing things when I was a teen... there was no enlightenment.
That kinda stuff doesn't come around until your mid to late 20's... MAYBE. That's if you were paying attention, which you probably weren't/won’t.
Nah, most likely, you'll have those self-discovery moments, in therapy, in your 30's.
Then, you're ready for speeches in your 40s & 50s.
So, you know, I respect the self-awareness.
Perhaps this is the true power of the younger Spider-People in this film.
This movie is a true visual treat! I can't wait for it to stream, so I can pause and soak up each artistic frame that was treated with such care, style , and inspiration.
Grade: A
You're right! Stupid question!
MORE is better! Well... at least when we're talking Spider-Man. I want more Spider-Stories! More Spider-People!
More Spider-Video Games!
More Spider-Promo! More Spider-heartstring-tugging! More Spectacular ART!
F*ck it! MORE of EVERYTHING!
More drugs! More money! More fake butts! MORE MORE MORE! May it never stop!
Consequences be damned!
(sorry, that escalated quickly... oh well)
MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#AcrosstheSpiderVerse#SpiderMan#GwenStacy#JohnPraphit#praphitproductions.com#Marvel#SONY#MilesMorales#Praphit#ActionMovies#MovieReviews#DC#Thanos#Gluttony#KimKardashian#IntotheSpiderVerse
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FAST X: Pastor Dom
The world is a pie. It's been placed in the oven. It's got all kinds of goodness in it:
apples, what else do y'all like?... banana pudding? - sure, maybe some walnuts, of course the milk and eggs and stuff... what's that? - you like meat pies?... idk if that's gonna work... but sure, it doesn't matter, um... got some... BBQ pork up in there as well... imagine whatever goodness you want.
We are all baking inside of this goodness pie at 350 D's.
But, the main ingredients of this pie are pain and disappointment. What a twist, right?? Makes it kind of a crappy pie. Maybe there's literal crap in the pie as well.
That's what life can feel like at times though, right?? You walk outside and look at life, and say to yourself "Wow, there are a lot of sad and angry people out there." And perhaps more times than you're willing to admit, you're one of those sad and angry people.
But, FEAR NOT, there are plenty of ways to cope (and it's all about the coping) : faith in God, cute animals, booze, guns, strippers, pills, dark magic, robbery, murder, chocolate, etc.
But, one of the best ways I've found..... you guessed it -
Watching Fast & Furious movies.
This man, right here... my emotional anchor...
VIN DIESEL
There's something about him isn't there??
Vin is rocking his most beloved character - Dominic Torretto, leader of the... "FAST GANG". Is that what they're called? Doesn't matter.
I love this guy!
When I saw the trailer, I smiled big, and said "The bullshit IS BACK!" And I meant that in the best way.
It's been over 20 years of this nonsense. 20 years of fun, racing, ridiculous acts with cars, thievery, Coronas, and FAMILY.
ANNND probably killing. No one ever wants to talk about this, but they've caused a lot of property damage haven't they? - and within that damage, there has more than likely been a rising body count. The damage alone may have ruined lives!
BUT, they're such a cool group of people, and VIN... those flex poses?? - C'MON :)
You can't help but love him.
This time around Dominic is seeing the end coming. He tells his lovely wife (Letty, played by Michelle Rodriguez):
"How long can we keep doing this shit? We've got a kid. We've got a nice home. I'm making all of this Marvel Money ("I AM GROOT"),
and dishing out hot singles “Feel like I Do”
(real song - check it out).
We can get out. We don't have to live this life of sexy, dangerous racing anymore."
The problem is, when you've spent 20 years stealing, and probably killing, you make some enemies.
In walks Jason Momoa (Dante), dressed like Prince.
He's our villain who doesn't just want to race Dom, doesn't just want to kill him, but wants to make him and his team (sorry, his FAMILY) suffer. This is why we need to chill and be kind to one another. There's already so much sadness and anger, then you add assholes to your life, like this...
But, Momoa don't care, he wants revenge cuz Dom killed his daddy. To be fair, Dom didn't mean to kill him. He was driving 1000 miles down the highway, while stealing his daddy's money, and shit happened.
Plus, Momoa's daddy was a criminal, so... you know... the real offender here is karma.
But, here we go anyway.
Jason Momoa had a blast making this movie. You can tell that he had a lot of fun.
Dante's a fun character, but also kinda confusing.
Sometimes, he acts like The Joker, sometimes like a super villain from... a show like “The Power Puff Girls”, and sometimes
he's serious gangster revenge guy. Idk.
What in the world did the director whisper into Momoa's ear as motivation? If the director whispered the words "cartoonishly evil" , perhaps he nailed it.
The movie is pretty much Dante chasing Dom's family around with Looney Tunes gadgets, guns, and at one point a giant rolling bomb, that was on fire.
YES!
Now, I don't think this installment is as fun as some others, mainly cuz there's no real mission here. You normally get the vibes of Ocean's 11 meets The A-Team, but it feels more like Dom and the Family getting chased for 2 1/2 hours.... cuz that's what it is.
Some actual acting star power up in here:
Brie Larson
and ONCE AGAIN, the underrated, yet GREAT Charlize Theron.
whom I still don't understand why she's a part of all of this (being a real actor), but she works. They finally got her hair right tho.
Trust me, that's an improvement.
That's her not long after getting her ass BEAT, and she still looks amazing.
Those UFC people must be doing something wrong.
I love this franchise! I get it :)
It's just not quite as good. And the dialogue, which has always been bad, but... c'mon y'all.
There's been talks within this current Writer's Strike of protection from writing scripts with AI action like “ChatGPT”.
People will say "Well, that won't happen, and even if it did... it wouldn't be any good."
And then I saw this movie....
Not only could AI have def written this film, but it would have been 10 times better! I'm not sure how the strike will affect the next movie or two that come out for this franchise, but... honestly, it might be an improvement.
Ludacris and Tyrese are old.
Not that they look old, but their act is old, you know?? Like, they're still cool for their age, I guess, but they're not "young people cool" anymore. Sorry, fellahs. It happens to everybody. Just part of the pie we're all baking in :)
BUT, all in all, lots of laughs (even though I was the only one in the theater laughing at the absurdities)
Good, solid, destruction porn.
An AWESOME fight scene between Michelle Rodriguez and Charlize Theron.
And so much star power... though I think they might have to beef-up the villain star power in the next one.
Go after some other respected actors: see if Angela Bassett and Jake Gyllenhaal are doing anything.
Grade: C+
I really think that Dom would make a good pastor.
Perhaps once he's truly done with the stealing and killing.
He's good with people. Very accepting.
He's always got that mood music in the bg; perfect for his sermons.
I feel like Vin could keep his congregation focused on the goodness in the pie, not just all of the crap.
Plus, his churches would be filled with sexy people.
Church is not all about sexy people, but it helps.
And the best part is, he can solve any of the world's sad/anger-inducing problems with racing.
Rising Homelessness - "Let's ride!"
Climate Change - "Let's ride!"
Crippling Depression - "Let's ride!"
Sign me up for that church!!!
#FastX#johnpraphit#praphitproductions.com#VinDiesel#MichelleRodriguez#Praphit#FastandFurious#JasonMomoa#ActionMovies#MovieReviews#Family#Corona#BrieLarson#CharlizeTheron#Church#comedy#inspiration#LifeLessons#endurance#faith#racing
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Guardians Vol 3: A fatty, salty gift.
(No Spoilers)
May I be honest be with you? I’ve been thinking about letting my PMB card (Proud Marvel Bitch) expire.
I know. I KNOW. Perish the thought, right??
I've been defending Marvel throughout all of the recent tough times.
While errbody out there was talkin smack, I defended you, Marvel!
When people said "Thor 4" was too goofy & had tone problems,
I said "LOOK, this dude just got his body back, his lady back, and his hammer back. Let him have some fun! Quit being a grump!"
When people said that "The Multiverse of Madness" suffered from too much CGI.
I said "LOOK, it's called THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS! It's about a fight between a Magical Doctor of Strangeness and a Super Witch! Give me ALL of the effects & colors! There can't be enough CGI! How were y'all expecting anything other than an overload of all of that?! You just want them to duke it out in one room, throwing Skittles and glitter at each other??!"
When people said that She-Hulk didn't have no business twerkin with Megan Thee Stallion.
I supported that badly CG'd booty!
"If ya got it, shake it!" is what I said.
And then, "Ant-Man 3 happened....
THEN, J.Majors had his... alleged... issue...
THEN, I saw that "The Marvels" trailer... a movie that no one is asking for...
I wouldn't say that my faith in Marvel is broken, but doubt has certainly crept in.
Can these Guardians of Vol 3 restore my faith? - maybe, but it ain't gonna be easy.
They're kind of a mess right now. Rocket is playing what I call "The Secret Sadness Game".
Have you ever played that game? - I bet you have. It's when something is wrong with you; you're very sad, but you're not letting anyone know about it. It's a horrible game. Nobody wins in that game, but it's apparently popular these days, with social media making us all pretend to be happy, dignified, and pretty all of the time. So, popular that Mantis is playing that game a lil bit as well.
Drax is too simple-minded to play that game
(side note: Dave Bautista [Drax] said that Marvel dropped the ball concerning Drax's story. And I couldn't agree more. There's a lot to explore with his back story, but...
I'm hoping that they'll either reboot the Guardians cartoon series or give Drax a "What If... " story. That show really likes depressing people; here's a golden opportunity.)
Groot is...
well, Groot.
And Nebula (whom I LOVE!)
is grumpier than a lot of us Marvel fans have become. To be fair she has to keep all of these bozos together while Peter aka Starlord is getting drunk and dropping F-Bombs.
He still hasn't gotten over Gamora.
I was going to be a jerk and say that he should have gotten over her by now, BUT I forgot that she’s kinda dead, but kinda not... (#ComicbookUniverseProblems)
It's hard to move on when your lover IS dead, but... still around, kinda, you know?? (If you actually don’t know, then... wow, you’ve got a lot of catching up to do)
I know (in the Christmas Special) they brought Peter the gift of Kevin Bacon to cheer him up, but maybe they should have brought him a woman.
A good 80's star like he likes... maybe Heather Locklear
or Kathy Ireland. Remember her?
Not the best message though, I guess - "If you're depressed, then simply drown yourself in booze and pretty women (whom only exist to make you happy :)." But, he's kinda there anyway.
Like I said, they're a mess.
But, if one thing can bring family together it's tragedy.
Something bad happens to one of The Guardians, they sober-up the Starlord, wash his mouth out with soap, and they're off on an adventure!
Mostly a typical Guardians jam. I know some have complained about too many laughs while serious things are going on, but they kinda started all of that in the MCU. And to be fair, if you have survived as much as they have, perhaps you'd be laughing more in the face of danger as well. I loved the comedy duo of Mantis & Drax. And the... unromantic comedy duo/toxic partnership of Peter & Gamora.
And with Nebula (WHOM I LOVE!) in the middle of it all... PERFECTION.
The colorful new worlds and creatures we meet are cool. And the CGI is excellent. I don't know where those artists were when She-Hulk and MODOK were being created,
but whatever:) The action is excellent! A lot of murdering going on here for a PG-13 rating, when you stop and think about it, but I loved every non-drop of mostly non-existent blood.
The stuff that's different is the darker tones in here.
There's some serious drama happening in this film. Of course we have more of Peter’s brokenhearted ass, but there are a lot of family dynamic stuff here as well. There's plenty of funny bickering between them, but it's also covering up some pain that the movie gets into.
Plus, we learn about Rocket's origin. That's when things get really dark and cruel. His past sucked. You WILL get emotional.
Especially when in his story we meet our villain
THE HIGH EVOLUTIONARY.
He brings new meaning to the word "Narcissist", and you will hate him. There's a lot to hate.
He's pretty much getting his Dr. Frankenstein on, using parts from animals, humanoid creatures, and robotics.
His victims suffer much and he don't give a SHIT!
Bradley Cooper (Rocket) is good! I always forget that he's part of the Marvel Universe. I was kinda hoping that Rocket's origin included being Bradley Cooper, but had his brain removed and put in a raccoon.
And maybe something similar with Groot
Some dark stuff, but also a lot of LOL moments. I think they maneuvered the tones well.
I do wish that we got more of my main woman Debicki!
And like many, I had hoped for more Adam Warlock, but I know time was tight in that regard.
That's prob my main complaint about the film - TIME. It's 2hrs and 30 mins ----- TOO LONG, and yet the endings for these characters seemed rushed.
Like... where they end up, individually, makes sense, but it feels like we skipped some emotional steps.
This is Rocket's story, and it's full of laughs, feels, and bad ass action!
I really enjoyed this movie! PMB card renewed!
Grade: B+
What made this movie extra enjoyable for me was the news that someone dies in this movie (NOT a spoiler. I already told you about all of the murder. Murder always begats more murder, kids.
Any explosion near The Guardians --- NOOOO!
One of them gets shot --- NOOOOO!
Any time one of them was alone --- NOOOO!
Eating a delicious, fatty, salt encrusted meal---- Heart Disease, NOOOOOO!
On the toilet ---- isn't that how Elvis died? or is that a myth? People die that way though.
.
What an interesting way for a Marvel character to die. “We'll all remember when Mantis crapped herself to death.” :)
NOOOOOOO!
Although, anxiety-inducing, it was certainly a more exciting way to watch. It was a kind of a gift. A gift which I now leave with you.
#TheGuardiansoftheGalaxyVol3#TheGuardiansoftheGalaxy#johnpraphit#praphitproductions.com#Marvel#Elvis#Action#Comicbooks#Praphit#Mantis#Rocket#BradleyCooper#VinDiesel#ChrisPratt#ElizabethDebicki#HeatherLocklear#KathyIreland#DaveBautisa#Nebula#MCU
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Evil Dead Rise: ... but how fat is yo mama?
How much do you trust your gut?
There are certain people who should never trust their gut. In fact, it would benefit them, and everyone around them, if they do the exact opposite of everything their gut leads them to do.
Then, there are others who can arrive at a casino, kiss their cards at the blackjack table, and stack winnings all night, you know??
I saw the trailer for "Evil Dead Rise",
and my gut was like "Meh. Looks generic. Not for me. I'll catch it when it streams... maybe"
BUT, MY gut isn't ALWAYS right (a good 90% ;), and it was, at that time, full of beer, so...
Plus, things change when you don't have to pay (which I didn't), and I do have a soft spot for a pretty smile.
Let's do this:
First of all, if some of you diehard "Evil Dead" fans are looking for nostalgia, you won't find much here.
This movie mostly takes place in an apartment, in the city, and not in a cabin.
There's no Ash,
so not as much charm to grace the scenes.
And I'd say, a lot less goofy than any of the other stories told in this franchise.
That could be good or bad for you. Idk.
We've still got The Book of the Dead though!
I'd like to chastise these people for not knowing by now that this book should be left alone, but... any of us would probably do the same thing, right??
We'd find it - "Huh.... kinda looks like that Book of the Dead people have been talking about.Can't be though, right?? That's not real.
Actually looks kinda cool."
We'd see that it's made of human flesh and locked tight by sharp teeth -
"Oh, cool."
We'd prick our fingers on those teeth, and accidentally open this book -
"Ouch, but kinda cool."
We'd flip through it, thinking it can't be THAT bad, as someone near us says something about having a bad feeling about this - "Yeah, me too, but still kinda cool, right?? I don't believe in any of that stuff.
oh, look at this. Let's say these spooky, Latin words out loud."
*spookiness happens*
"Oh, bleep, it IS that bad. Oops. "
That's pretty much what happens here (again).
This time it's a family who opens the book. They're living in the city, in a dark apartment.
I mean DARK. The light that they do have seems to be mood setting for a seance, not happy family time.
This is before any dark spirits even show up.
If I may pause to offer y'all some advice - Be sure not to have your home looking like a place demons would want to hang out.
I would say that every home should have a cross somewhere in it; even if you don't believe in its power: not just a cross, but some Aquafina labeled
"Holy Water," or at the very least a picture of Tim Tebow, just to make any demons think twice before entering.
The shit goes down pretty quickly, and the movie has a solid pace of horror and suspense.
Don't ask me why nobody seems to live on any other floors in this apartment complex, or why no one thinks to call the cops (not that they could help, but...). There ain't no tenants walking the halls, or yelling about this family being too loud. Nobody at the front desk. Not even any delivery people wandering about. A perfect place to live if you're a drug dealer or murderer; no one around to ask questions.
It's pretty much this family and a couple of neighbors being witnesses to bloody screams, loud banging, and demonic possession taking place in the hallway.
Though if you peeked out of your door and saw this woman (Alyssa Sutherland),
covered in blood.
And then, saw a bunch of mutilated bodies in the hall, with some of those mutilated bodies chanting "DEAD BEFORE DAWN!"... perhaps you'd keep to yourself as well. Just put on some noise-cancelling headphones and mind yo own business.
On a technical level, there's a lot to love about this movie:
Lee Cronin was doing his thang in the director's chair.
He made all of the gore and blood a delight to watch.
(ok, so maybe a lil nostalgia :)
This movie is very creepy, so big props to him.
These actors are also good. Not like Oscar-winning good :) It's not like we'll hear "And the winner for best actress goes to Alyssa Sutherland (who carried this film btw) for playing a possessed mother, trying to kill her kids."
BUT, a lot of these actors have to play "normal people" and then turn around and play possessed people, and that takes some skills to be believable; especially with the younger actors.
If you're a fan of gore, look no further!
There's something that happens at the end of this movie that is artfully terrifying and still kinda fun. Sam Raimi points for sure!
All of that being said, my gut wasn't too far off.
FOR ME, at least. My gut is for me.
Honestly, I missed Ash. I missed a character with his... whatever the hell you can call it. Je ne sais quoi :)
All of these characters are bland to me. But, more than that, this movie was kinda hopeless. Now, that's on me. One can't expect to find hope in a movie called "Evil Dead Rise". Fair point, but I guess I was looking for some good vs evil or some "there's still a chance" vs evil.
Where are the angelic forces to balance things out? No priests around sensing any disturbances? I'm just looking for ONE person with some sort of faith. No? Just seemed like TEAM GOOD is dropping the ball here.
Come to think of it, there IS a priest in this movie (his audio), but his message is pretty much "Well, ya f*cked up, didn't you? Y'all doomed."
What kind of priest gives sermons of despair?!
Some might say, "That's the franchise. Praphit, you just don't get it." You know what?? - you're right, and I don't want to.
I'm good. i'm afraid that if I end up "getting it" that someone looking like "Mama Smiley" will show up and drag me away.
It's ok not to get things.
Just not for me. If you can say out loud "I just want pure gruesome killing and gore that leaves a taste of unholiness in my mouth for days to come.", then have I got a movie for you. You should probably sit with that declaration for a while :) but afterwards, quickly run to the theaters to see this movie, and declare it your film of the year.
I like demonic possessed killings as much as the next person, but mix it up.
You know that comedian who's known for telling dirty jokes?? I like them too, but I like a lil blend: some knock-knock jokes, some relational humor, and maybe some comments about how fat somebody's mama is.... and then get back to the dirty. I'm cool with that.
You can't just give me a river of perversion though :)
BUT, some people like that. Some people want to bathe in that river. To each their own, I suppose.
Two grades:
Grade B for you soulless gore-lovers out there, and a generous C, for the rest of us God-fearing people in the audience :)
There was so much blood at the end of this movie that I couldn't tell the characters apart. They were just red people (I have to admit, I like that :)
But, so much gross action was happening in the movie that it literally spilled over into reality. Someone vomited right outside of the theater doors.I don’t know if it was due to the movie or if someone couldn’t hold their liquor, but still...
So much of the demonic, that I craved purity when I walked out. Like being dehydrated on a hot Summer day, longing for water.
I needed something pure to cling to. I could see that some others who were walking out needed comfort as well. It was a Saturday, but I bet some of them sped off to church.
It was weird, because I felt a glowing appreciation for the blood-soaked art that I just watched (I mean that. A lot of cool parts!), and yet I felt so unclean.
All I wanted to do was go home, take a shower, and snuggle up next to my picture of Tim Tebow.
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GHOST: Too Sexy for this Life
Normally, I'm foraging the landscape, looking for some good action or horror to munch on.
I spotted "The Pope's Exorcist". I said, "Look, everybody, it's Russell Crowe! - He’s getting drunk and binding demons!"
We got up to go, but got possessed by a spirit ourselves - it's called laziness.
That and the spirit of being broke (being body slammed by tax season can make some folks question ticket prices :)
So, we sat back down, and stumbled upon the 1990's film "GHOST". I haven't watched this since I was a kid.
Yeah, it's time for a Back in the Day review!
If you want action - there it is.
BOOM!
A LOT of action.
Demi Moore might need a neck brace after all of that action.
And the after-life scares most people, so it checks the boxes. Here we go:
Back in the day, you weren't going to get much sexier than Patrick Swayze.
And he knows it, that's why he gives the people what they want in the first scene of "Ghost" - he's swinging around a sledgehammer, with no shirt on.
That's right! Sam Wheat (Swayze) is shirtless, sweaty, dirty and madly in love with aspiring artist Molly (played by Demi Moore)
He's breaking down walls for his woman; that's love!
His powers of sexy know no bounds:
Whether it's home improvement, or saving Molly from potentially falling out a window (y'all remember that angel scene?
- why they're trying to bring the angel statue in through the window and not via elevator/stairs is still a mystery to me).
Oh and there's an scene when Sexy Sam Wheat wakes up to that angel statue in his bed. When I was a kid, that scene kinda scared me. Idk why. It’s a weird needless scene. It's just an angel statue succumbing to Sam Wheat's powers. Awwwwyeah.
There's that iconic scene when Molly is listening to "Unchained Melody" and working vigorously on a piece of art.
Sam Wheat saunters in and bleeps it all up. Saying "Sorry, baby. Was that important? I see you worked long and hard on that. But, it's time I worked long and hard on you. Awwwwyeah."
As lame as that line is, he's so sexy, and in love, and supportive of her that it doesn't matter.
He can even get away with not saying the words "I love you" to her.
That wouldn't fly with most women at that stage of relationship.
Rude, right?? For her to say "Sam Wheat. I love you."
And for him to always only reply "Ditto".
Most people would be like "WTF kinda response is that?!" But, Molly is possessed by the most dangerous spirit of all - love:)
It was all so perfect, but then this dude was envious of all of that sexiness and love.
He said to himself "Damn you, Sam Wheat! No woman will look at me because you're around. I want some lovin! What about me?!
When do I get booty??! Aaaaaaaah!" He also wanted some money, so long story short:
he found a dude named Willie to do some dirty work for him,
and now sexy Sam Wheat is dead.
When one is a ghost, we learn that the powers of sexiness aren't much good; the whole lack of a body thing.
So, Sam must find Whoopi Goldberg (Oda Mae Brown),
and use her body to get REVENGE, and to save his love, Molly.
With Whoopi's help, Sam learns that there's more to life (and death) than simply being sexy.
This lesson learned enables him to become SUPER SAM!
Out there kickin ass in the streets! - with his new ghost powers!
"Ghost" is as good as I remember it being. Demi Moore is good in it, AND I forgot how good she is at that I-might-cry-at-any-moment-look.
Tony Goldwyn is also good (dude who was envious of Sam's sexiness)! - good at making us hate him, but still.
And then there's the comedy duo of Whoopi and Patrick Swayze. I mean it. They’re so funny together. I wish we could have gotten more movies with those two.
My only complaint is that it's a lil longer than it needs to be. But, that's mainly due to Patrick Swayze's sexiness. His love/sex/foreplay scenes go on forever. I imagine that the director and editors simply didn't have it in them to say "No more"; they were too turned on.
Only 76% from critics on RT. That was a surprise to me. I saw some complaints of wanting a pure romance story. I saw some complaints about racial humor (not that the humor was racist, but that some didn't want race mentioned).
I saw some complaints about the overall message of death/after-life. Not many technical complaints though. So Idk.
... I will say that there's some weirdness:
- Sam using Oda Mae's body to get it on with Molly.
- A subway poltergeist that everyone seems to be fine with (It IS NY, so not as bad as the rat problem, I suppose)
- Heaven is a lil bit lax when it came to gathering souls.
Demons would come for the dead, quickly, saying "Nah, your ass is done. We're going to Hell RIGHT NOW!"
Heaven was more "Oh, you still have things to do? Ok, well, we'll be back after you've sufficiently caused chaos with your ghost powers."
But, all of that makes me love this movie more. Grade: A-
I still want to see "The Pope's Exorcist".
I hear that Russ is great, but the movie is MEH, like any other exorcism movie that's not "The Exorcist" or The Conjuring"
Perhaps if they were to take a page from "Ghost"'s book, and add romance and some comedy.
There needs to be more of that. More movies like "Ghost" please, Hollywood.
Russell Crowe is in love with a demon (played by Maya Rudolph).
She possesses (... we need a serious actor to keep it grounded)... maybe Viola Davis.
Russ gets on top of her... and IT IS HOT!
And he says "I see you in there. And I love, baby. BUT, I'VE GOTTA SEND YOU TO HELL!"
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