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mrsmaxwelllord · 2 years

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VIPEROUS – true self

Pairing: Dark!Zemo X F!Reader

Sumarry: You arrive home only to find out that you've gotten pregnant by the worst man you can think of.

Words: 1,5K

Warnings: zemo is not so sweet in this one. unplanned pregnancy. loneliness. daydreaming. self-doubt. fear. drink-spiking.

A/N: First of all, i know that unplanned pregnancy isn't everybody favorite plot and I'M SORRY.

But you didn't thought I'd name a fic "viperous" and not write zemo at his fcking worst, did you?

previous chapter

You had discovered it pretty early on.

After parting ways with the boys, you were feeling furious. You didn’t bother saying your goodbyes or listening to theirs, you simply held your bags and walked away from Zemo’s private jet; no turning back, no fake smile. Although, you could pull your pissed expression only for a few minutes, as soon as you turned a corner tears blurred your vision.

Nonetheless, you went your way. In less than 24 hours you got to your home country and ten hours later you arrived in the dense rainforest you called home. It took you a few days to settle in again, to forget — or better, to ignore — the fateful events and get back to your routine.

You stayed recluse at your house for a bit more than a month, before you had to come down to the nearest village; your supplies had their days counted and you could no longer postpone a visit to the hospital, the wound in your ribs had healed but the area was still too sore.

You were expecting a broken rib or two, but the blood test they ran came out with a different outcome. One that you had no idea how to deal with.

A pregnancy. You were about six weeks pregnant. It was very hard to understand the simple sentence coming out of your Doctor's mouth, it seemed impossible even; but you haven't used any protection the last time you were intimate with someone.

It was obvious to you who the father was and it terrified you. Zemo was miles away running away from James and Sam after having managed to kill Karli Morgenthau and half the members of the Flag-Smasher. He didn’t know your whereabouts or condition, yet even the idea of him finding out was enough to make you shiver. His actions in the past decade made it clear that he loved his son, yet, you didn’t know how he’d react this time around with a woman he didn’t know nor loved – all while hiding from her own friends.

You weren't sure if you wanted to keep it, but something was clear in that moment: he could never know, no one could.

So after getting the exam result and making sure your ribs were okay, you scheduled a prenatal appointment with a discreet Doctor in a distant city and went your way home.

You had a lot to think about. Parenting a child was hard enough with the help of others, but completely alone… Yet, you realised quite fast you wanted to keep it.

You also realised that you didn’t know shit about babies. You spend the first trimester of your pregnancy researching and studying everything you could, buying everything the internet said you’d need and having horrible nightmares almost every week.

Because you were worrying about everything at once, three month went by fast.

The lovely lady who owned the grocery store you go to regularly became your acquaintance and gave you very good tips. Your most dear tea recipe — the one that could treat the worst of nauseas or anxiety — was given from her and even some sleeping position for when your belly gets too big. You were visiting her more and more, especially because your nightmare was making you kinda paranoid.

There were two that seemed to never let you in peace. The first one involved the Avengers taking the baby away and was very simple, it was always James or Sam and you were left alone, crying. The second, though, was more stange; you had the baby in your hands, feeding him, and there was always a figure looking at you. Later, you followed their cry to a cradle, but it was empty and you knew exactly who took it.

Most nights you wake up in a cold sweat. And you end up always thinking of Zemo. You tried your best to let it go, to forget about him but you were feeling really guilty and scared.

In Madripoor, when you were in his arms, every concern you had seemed to go away and you longed for that feeling on a daily basis. You knew you couldn't have that. You didn't know where the hell he was, or wanted to be with a man who killed a child without any guilt. You agreed with Sam about Karli and really thought a solution could have been made if Zemo hadn't shot her – as you later found out.

Sure, you wanted to feel the comfort of someone's warmth against you. You wanted to not have to think about the possible outcome of failing as a Mother. You wished you weren't feeling so alone.

You wanted to have everything Helmut offered you in whispers back in that dirty town.

However, you knew he could never leave the Raft if he ever gets caught and telling him of the child growing inside you would kill him because he couldn't be present. No matter how much you wished. So you resumed the little life you built for yourself.

Sunbathing in the morning with a book in hand, eating healthy foods you were learning how to cook and visiting the small village down the hill once a week so you didn't feel so lonely.

On the bad days, you liked to daydream about being someone's housewife; taking care of the chores got a lot easier when you were waiting for your husband to come back from work. Yet not even your silly little dreams could save you from the solitude late at night, when there was only your pillow with a cologne similar to his to hold on to.

It was raining again — a thunderstorm this time. Lately it has been raining a lot, more than you had been accustomed to; not that you disliked it, you adored watching the lightning and thunder. Through the floor-to-ceiling windows you could see the sky clearly, the trees surrounding your house danced and howled as the thunder approached.

It was late in the night and you were terribly tired, but you simply could not let a thunderstorm go unwatched. In your childhood, you were terrified of them, you always ran to hide under your blankets with your teddy bear, but, somewhere in your teen years you became bewitched by the loud noise and the flashing lights.

You were thinking of Helmut again, but, this time, something felt odd. It was almost like you could feel him thinking of you as well. A silly thought really, that you were connected somehow. You took a deep breath and rested in the chair.

The idea of having a soulmate pleased you but the rational part of you knew you just wanted someone who you could trust fully and completely. A national terrorist couldn’t be that person. Especially not a dead one.

Less than a week ago the news of him startled you, he had… died. They didn't specify exactly what happened in the little newspaper article except that the Winter Soldier had found Zemo after his attack on Captain America – well, John Walker – and that ended with his death. What was obviously a lie, James wouldn’t kill him. Would he? You were too afraid of looking deep into it. Perhaps… No. It hurted you to think about it.

You reached out to grab your mug on the coffee table, but that felt like too much effort. In fact, everything felt overwhelming; you could not get up when you heard the front door keys moving, or when the sound around the house got close. Something was wrong with you, the tea made you way too sleepy. You tried to get up.

When you turned around leaning on the armchair, your eyes got caught like a deer’s by the fleshlight on a road.

There, standing at the door, the most frightful ghost of all. The soaking wet Baron stared right into your soul before smiling softly.

“Liébling, what are you doing awake at this hour? Don’t you know it is bad for the baby?”

You gasped and reached out for something on the coffee table, but ended up dropping the mug on the ground. The shattering startled you even more, in an attempt to get away you stepped into a piece of broken glass and fell down.

The ghost of Helmut Zemo tried to approach, but upon seeing you hurt yourself further gave up.

Now the palm of your hands were bleeding as well and you were hiding half of your body, still transfixed. The need to protect your womb was there, urging you to cover your belly with your hands or tighten the cardigan around you, but you resisted it.

“I promised you I have no intention of hurting you. Ever” he whispered, taking a hesitant step.

You couldn’t bring yourself to answer the ghost, shaking your head and raising your bloody hands to your face.

“Liébling. Let me help you.”

The sleepiness was now worse than before, you could feel yourself slipping away. Then you realise.

“Helmut, what did you put in my drink?” He took the final steps to you and held you tight. The blood stained his shirt, but he didn’t seem to mind a bit, bringing your hand to his lips to kiss it chastely.

“Don’t worry now. I’ll take care of you” he kissed your temple and your cheeks. Before falling unconscious, you remember thinking he still smelled the same.

#zemo fanfiction #helmut zemo smut #helmut zemo fanfiction #helmut zemo x reader #baron zemo x reader #zemo x reader #zemo x you #daniel brül x reader #daniel brühl x you #baron zemo

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luckypupsmama · 1 year

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Why aren’t there more karli morgenthau x reader fics on here?

#karli morgenthau x reader #falcon and the winter soldier

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frostironfudge · 2 years

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Tenebrous - Loki (AU) - Chapter Eighteen

Pairings: Vampire! Professor Loki x Fem!Reader

Characters: Loki, Thor, Fem OC, Reader, Bucky Barnes, Stephen Strange, Baron Zemo, Other OCs

Warnings: gore, angst, witch-vampire fighting, coven dynamics, blood drinking, betrayals, emotional manipulation, mind manipulation, graphic canon level violence, blood drinking, torture, drugs, drug use, MINORS DNI.

Word Count: 7.8k || Dividers: @firefly-graphics

Chapter Seventeen || Chapter Nineteen

Main Masterlist || Fic Masterlist || My AO3

Chapter Eighteen - I See No End In Sight

In the clearing Alexander’s army of vampires take their battle formation, murmurs breaking out at the sight of Thor.

Stephen looks at their team of four compared to the vampires. He lets his thoughts wander to Emery. Recalling their laughter, their brilliance, their drive.

The butterfly’s soft wings quiver as Emery acknowledges Stephen’s thoughts, trying to send him strength from them-self.

Wong exhales in relief as Nia passes by them standing at the front. Stephen opens his eyes, heart not allowing relief at the sight of Nia taking charge. He needed to be sure.

“Alexander Pierce, is dead.” Nia announces, immediately there is an uproar.

Zemo raises his stake, Luna has a weave in place as a border.

Nia raises her hand, silence takes over.

“He had bequeathed his rule unto Loki, who has rejected the throne. Thor, my mate had the responsibility thereafter. However as you can see he lost his life to battle. I ask this once, does anyone cast doubt over my interim rule?” She questions, allowing time for them to answer.

The coven remains silent.

“Very well, return to the castle, Luna and Zemo shall be in-charge till I arrive to make further announcements.” Nia announces and they all nod.

“I thought you didn’t trust us.” Zemo comments.

“I don’t but I know you are after a lot more than revenge, Helmut. Also Luna will keep you in check. If you keep them in check, I believe I will pass the mantle onto you.” Nia smiles as the auburn haired vampire chuckles.

“You would make a fine leader.” Wong comments as he watches the army retreat, the only concept of Alexander’s teaching that came in handy was that they follow orders without thought. Luna and Zemo follow the army, to make sure they all return back to the castle.

“I know, but I don’t want to be the one to change his legacy besides, he has more enemies than friends.” Nia shrugs.

“Correct. You’ve had enough of betrayals I suppose.” Wong observes, gaze softened with empathy.

“Hey, where did you guys put John?” Maya’s voice is as though cold water.

Stephen turns to the tree where Wong and he had placed John with stakes, one of the stakes were missing as was the vampire.

“Guys… where is he?” Nia looks around, frantic.

“Hold the army!” She screams.

Zemo and Luna turn,

“Is everyone accounted for?” Nia questions and their brows furrow.

“Karli is missing.” One vampire says from the army.

“Now, who the fuck is Karli?” Nia pinches the bridge of her nose, this entire entourage is testing her patience.

“We need to get to Y/N.” Wong urges, “Karli’s ability is stealth, she can sneak up and attack easily.”

“Luna!” Wong calls out and she nods closing her eyes to connect with the Celestials for a locating spell.

——<>——

“Fucking, again?” Sierra groans, as the three of them stand once again.

“Miles I want a vacation after this.” Clark demands.

“I’ll see which cruises are available.” Miles murmurs humouring them.

“One more time coven, we’re looking for a dangerous vampire.” Luna’s voice echoes and Sierra resists the urge to roll her eyes.

“All of them are.” She mutters.

“Karli Morgenthau is out for their blood.” Luna informs and the three begin a locating spell.

“I can see blurs of green, forest—, no wait, that is near Loki’s house.” Sierra murmurs.

“Why is Karli there?” Clark wonders, they could get there within time.

“I see John too.” Miles informs.

Luna breaks away from their connection. The three coven members gaze at each other.

“Are we going to do it?” Sierra rests her hands on her hips, staring at Clark and Miles.

The couple gazes at each other.

Sierra grabs her bag and the car keys, “We are aren’t we? Why do I even bother asking sometimes?” She mutters as they move towards the garage.

——<>——

“They saw Karli and John near Loki’s home.” Luna breathes as she returns to the clearing from her mind link.

Nia’s jaw sets, “Stephen, Wong you are coming with me. Zemo, Luna take the best hunters from the coven and the runners. Maya pick your team.”

“Yours.” they stand near her small trio.

“We need to comb through the forest first where we were.” Nia looks towards Maya as they nod.

“Zemo, Luna your team goes directly to the house, I need eyes and ears there. Everyone get your phones out.” Nia grabs her device the screen cracked from the amount of tumbles taken during battle.

She quickly adds everyone including the Celestials to a group chat, typing the update and roles and responsibilities of each member.

“This is very thorough.” Stephen commends.

“I didn’t get into Law by being disorganised Doctor Strange.” She chuckles.

“Alright anything seen unseen report it on the group chat everyone share your locations, Maya you’re with me and Wong you be with Stephen. I want two guards for emery as well.” Nia orders and two vampires step forward from the coven.

Nia gazes at Stephen, who nods.

“If a hair on their head is harmed, I will not hesitate to end your lives.” He glowers, eyes turning red rimmed.

“Alright everyone, move.” Nia commands and they fan out, Luna and Zemo are followed by the chosen coven vampires, Maya, Nia, Stephen and Wong with the two volunteers comb through the forest.

They pause briefly where Alexander and Malekith lay with a stake buried into their chest each. No sign of Loki or James Barnes nor Y/N. Dread pools in her stomach.

“Carry on, Stephen place them at Emery’s then circle back at mine.” Nia suggests and the doctor nods.

“Be careful.” Wong advises and Nia nods in affirmation.

“You too.” He looks at Maya who gives him a brief smile.

As their group divides, Maya falls into step with Nia.

“So just to update you, John and Karli are probably mates but John does not trust her ideologies.” They explain as they breeze through the terrains.

“What do you mean?” She questions, John mentioned he was still alone, was he planning to reject Karli?

“She believes that humans should be drained dry, not kept around as warm blood bags.” The add.

“And we known John loves a chaser with his drugs.” Nia scowls.

“Precisely.” They comment.

Soon enough they reach the neighbourhood which seems eerily quiet and not even the chirp of birds exists.

Nia retrieves her phone once more.

the eradicate bad vampires squad group chat

Nia: eerie vibes in the neighbourhood. any update?

Clark: they are in one of the houses, eta 10 mins, sierra is driving like a maniac so maybe 7 mins

Zemo: we’ve secured a perimeter, compulsion used on door to door on the humans to remain inside and disallow entry, however the home opposite to yours had no answer.

Nia: that means it is where they are hiding where the fuck are loki and james?

Miles: locating spells take a little while, there is something scrambling it.

Stephen: guard 1 and 2 have warned against Karli, she has an ability to render any being into unconsciousness for thirty minutes. Celestials can guard minds but limited number of minds.

Stephen: it is more like a deep sleep rather than unconsciousness, Wong says. we will be there in five minutes.

Nia: hope emery is alright, will keep that in mind

Stephen: they are

Nia: there is something wrong with the house.

Stephen: what?

Sierra turns the car with a screech onto their lane. They stumble out. Just as Miles tries to cross onto the grass of the house he’s sent back stumbling.

“Did anyone not do that before I did?” He demands, Clark running over to help him.

Nia places her leg onto the grass and she’s sent flying backwards. “Is it a fucking weave?”

Maya also touches it and is sent flailing away to the opposite end.

“More like a blockage.” Clark muses, he places his hand but it is pushed back as though being shoved away.

“It is lighter on humans.” He deems.

“Glad we could be the lab rats.” Nia scrunches her face is disdain.

“Yep.” Maya agrees.

“Why can’t we hear anything?” They ask.

“The blockage prevents all things both in and out. They can’t hear us from here and we can’t hear them.” Sierra explains, understanding the spell.

Fifty-five Minutes Ago.

Carefully Loki pulls away from Y/N just enough to check on her. Exhaustion was creeping up her spine and reflected in her eyes as they ached for slumber.

He gazes at Bucky when she yet again moves to bury her head into his chest.

“We need to go home.” Bucky advises, Y/N only shakes her head.

“Poetess.” Bucky tries to reason but for the past few minutes she did not want to move, the two had taken turns to hold her, keep her close. Facing away from Malekith and Alexander’s lifeless forms.

“Witchling, we need to go. Is there a reason you want to be here?” Loki murmurs softly.

“They’ll follow, it, it isn't over.” She mutters, Bucky feels his heart clench at her words.

“They won’t, it’s been done, we fought and we won.” Bucky assures her, stroking her hair.

Y/N lifts her head from her vampire mate’s chest, looking into Bucky’s azure eyes.

“We can rest then?” She wonders, the weariness in her bones pulling down at her.

“We can, as long as we want to.” Loki promises.

Bucky sighs slightly relived as Y/N raises her head further, grabbing onto both of their hands.

“I think I should carry you.” Loki suggests.

“I’m okay, just a little—,”

“Little flower. Leaving without giving me a taste?” Johns voice has her freeze in place.

“John.” Bucky says in warning, hand raised with the soft blue lines taking over as he choses the spell. He steps in front of Y/N.

“I do not have time for your childish whims.” Bucky warns him and John only smiles.

“Oh I know, that is why I will up the ante, Y/N, why don’t you come here?” John requests and a thrum reverbs around her.

Y/N tries fighting off the pull her muscles ache to comply towards.

“Fighting the compliance?” John chuckles, “Karli please provide motivation.”

Loki drops Y/N’s hand as he turns in time as he blocks the stake an inch away from his chest.

Bucky pulls Y/N closer, “Keep fighting it.” He murmurs.

Karli smiles up at Loki as he manoeuvres their hands to gain the upper hand to hold the stake.

Bucky conjures a weave for Karli just as she vanishes from before their eyes.

“Loki?” Bucky questions, eyes trying to track all around.

“Stealth is her ability, I can’t track her mind either. Get her out.” Loki groans as he falls forward, Karli appearing behind him and landing a kick to his back.

“Oh no you don’t.” John blocks Bucky and Y/N.

“Give me the girl, Barnes.” The vampire warns.

Bucky glares at John.

“Sure.” He says making John widen his eyes then scream in pain as he feels every nerve on fire.

“Bucky.” Y/N says softly, “How did, how did you hide?” Wincing as she tries to escape the mental pull, a stark reminder of what went on in Bucky’s mind.

“Find a safe place.” Bucky says as he pulls her to move with him while keeping his eyes on John to keep the spell going.

Along his peripheral he can see Loki and Karli struggling as Loki begins to use his ability to get inside her mind. Karli ceases struggling, eyes unfocused as Loki smiles, gaining the upper hand.

“It should be a place you remember clearly no things left out, as inanimate the better, draw protection charms, sigils, cloaking spells.” Bucky looks at her momentarily as they begin to run.

John falls forward panting, glaring as Bucky and Y/N gain more distance from him.

“Okay.” She says, trying to keep up.

“Come on a little further then we get back to Loki’s house for the car okay? He’s the closest.” Bucky request and she nods.

“Make sure you know your way to return.” Bucky adds.

He surrounds them with a weave. Y/N’s muscles ache and lungs burn as they keep running, her mind a flurry of places she remembers, almost all of them were tainted.

When they slow to a jog her mind brings forth Loki’s office, she closes her eyes and allows Bucky to lead her, hand held tightly in his.

She places the sigils and protective charms, demarcating the trail with the shimmering snowflake as Bucky had.

The warlock breathes in relief as he spots the clearing for the house.They make their way through the back door, keeping their pace light and quick.

“Car keys are in the kitchen.” Y/N says moving away to find them.

Bucky keeps watch, with as much as focus, he can muster.

She moves through the kitchen, trying to locate the bowl in which they kept the keys for the cars.

Bucky begins to draw hexes, setting charms in place upon the house, making sure Loki was the only one who could see past his cloaking spell.

He had time to hone the skill of hiding within his own mind. Worried she would not be able to come back he begins to form a sigil for the very purpose.

He grabs the post it notepad and pen from the fridge. Y/N returns with the keys in hand, brows furrowed when she sees Bucky go through various pieces of the yellow paper.

“What is it?“ she questions.

“Don’t look at it right now.” Bucky warns turning away, he hisses when the sigil does not work as his magick wants it to, the tenth paper he draws the sigil it glows akin to his markings.

He shoves the paper in Y/N’s hand and grabs the keys.

“Bucky—,”

“Memorise that symbol. Every part of it. Make sure its in the place in your mind.” He instructs.

They get to the garage unlocking the car Bucky watches as Y/N settles into the passenger side. He takes a moment to breathe.

Limbs and muscles burning from exertion. He reaches for the handle before being pulled away, Bucky conjures up burning orbs.

“Hey, hey!” Loki shifts away from the burning embers.

“Can you announce that it’s you.” Bucky rolls his eyes and the two look to Y/N inside the car staring up at them tiredly.

“Oh no we can rest.” She mocks, in Loki’s accent.

“We will rest after I kill the fucker.” Bucky promises.

“I’ll drive.” Loki offers and Bucky shudders.

“Vampire reflexes driving is warranted.” Loki smiles.

“Where did you leave Karli?” Bucky questions when he gets into the backseat, Y/N looks back at him offering, reaching out her hand. Bucky grasps it.

“Keep memorising that sigil.” He tells her and she huffs.

“I know it.”

Bucky gives her a look which makes her gaze back at the paper as Loki shifts gears to move out of the garage.

“John came back to get me away from Karli, they are mates apparently but they have not yet accepted. They disagree on one crucial thing.” Loki gazes at Bucky in the rearview mirror.

“What?” The warlock questions, adding protective enchantments upon the car.

“Karli believes in draining people dry, John as we know…” Loki winces at the thought.

“Likes a warm drugged up human’s blood. Aka me.” Y/N adds nonchalantly.

The two stay silent, Y/N looks at both of them.

“What? It’s trauma processing humour.” She shrugs, “I mean Loki did say I’m decadent.” A laugh blubbers from her chest.

Bucky looks at Loki in disbelief. Loki only grows worried under his gaze.

“Geez, tough crowd.” She murmurs.

“Okay so what is the plan?” Bucky questions and Loki draws a breath.

“We hide out at home, no one can enter unless Y/N says so, and it gives us an advantage.”

“You haven’t thought further have you?” Bucky realises with scepticism.

“No, but end goal? Kill them.” The vampire shrugs.

“More death, gotta note this down for the therapist, Doctor Strange is going to take me off of the entire career path.” Y/N chuckles again rendering the two silent.

When they reach the house, Loki swiftly moves Bucky and Y/N inside, as he is about to step in John grabs Loki by his shoulder then pinning him to the ground.

Karli holds a stake to his back, piercing his skin.

Loki hisses at the pain, trying not to twist in John’s hold.

“Loki!” Bucky and Y/N yell, panic flooding through the two bonds.

“Come with me little flower, and he will live.” John grins menacingly.

“Let him go first.” Y/N requests stepping out from behind Bucky.

“Y/N.” He says in warning.

“Don’t.” Loki struggles to add as Karli pushes the stake in further.

Dread fills Bucky’s chest, the snowflakes creating a storm at the panic.

“Ask the warlock to put a weave around your mate.” John trades, Y/N gazes at Bucky, “I,” he hesitates, Loki would never want her life risked for his own safety. Even if it meant heartache.

“Please.” Is all she says in request.

“You know I can’t.” Bucky reasons.

“He wo-won’t—fuck.” Loki says, wincing, the tip of the stake leaving scars over his flesh.

Y/N closes her eyes, the weave begins to take shape around Loki, Karli withdraws the stake by half a centimetre.

“Come closer, little flower.” John coaxes sickly sweet it makes acid churn in her stomach.

Y/N takes a step forward.

Bucky’s fingers twitch in the slightest, the stake hidden under the side-table near the door pierces through Karli’s chest.

She stumbles backward, Loki uses his speed to crawl into the house.

Y/N trudges onward to the door.

Bucky gets the stake out from Loki’s back, when he raises his hand to throw the stake at John; he realises a crucial mistake.

Karli didn’t get hit in the heart, she manages to throw the stake from her chest onto Bucky, he deflects it but it slices onto the skin of his left arm. He tries not to make a sound at the searing pain that takes over, forcing staccato breaths to keep himself calm

Loki pushes himself off of the ground, he pushes Y/N to the end of the house. She begins mindlessly walking towards the door again.

“James.” Loki says in warning and Bucky has the side table move forward and block Y/N’s path. Loki moves again to grab her, holding her protesting self back.

Bucky commands the stakes to levitate towards Karli again, to his surprise Karli catches all the stakes one by one, throwing them back at Y/N and Loki.

Bucky leaps forward, casting a shield over them, moving his right arm the stakes turn and fly back indenting into Karli and onto her heart as her last groan comes to an end.

Bucky pants turning his gaze to John who stares at Karli.

“I wanted you to watch little flower die and live with it. Now i’m going to make sure you die before her, so you don’t know how it ends, or does it even end.” John’s eyes turn red.

Loki grabs Bucky by the waist as he holds onto Y/N pulling them into the kitchen. The vampire stumbles still wounded.

The fall against the cabinet, Bucky to the right and Y/N half on Loki’s lap as she still attempts to pry herself away.

Bucky pants as he rests his head against Loki’s shoulder.

“Is she okay?” He questions, still catching his breath.

Loki cradles her head, turning it towards him, his jaw tightens—her eyes are blank.

“Its taken full effect.” He informs solemnly. Bucky squeezes his eyes shut disdain colouring his features.

“We can’t kill him until he withdraws it or I get rid of it.” The warlock moves his hands to her forehead.

“You’ve been through too much already.” Loki grabs his hand midway to stop him.

“And you haven’t?” Bucky counters with a pointed stare.

“Y/N?” Loki tries stroking her cheek, opening up the bond.

The emptiness gnaws at him.

“Y/N?” Bucky tries as well, to no avail.

“Y/N, why don’t you come to me, you know I can make you very happy.” John’s voice booms through the house.

She begins to struggle in their arms.

“Oh is your mate and his little soldier trying to save you? Do you want them to rest? They need it don’t they?” John enquires.

“Yes.” Y/N answers softly, pushing at Bucky’s chest to let her free.

“You should let me inside. I can help.” John says.

“Mate silence—,” Loki is cut off midway.

“Come in, John.” Her voice repeats his request.

John smiles stepping over the threshold with ease.

“Now, revoke the permission you gave to your mate.” He orders, Bucky moves to cover her lips but the words already are past.

Loki feels the force pushing against every fibre, pushing him to stand, his grip upon his mates loosens.

“James—,” Loki wheezes as the pressure increases, his shoes slide over the floor as he’s being pulled out of the house.

Bucky casts a shield to prevent Loki from moving from the house but the old magick pushes through shattering the sheild, even the weave fails.

Y/N stands moving away, Loki watches as he falls forward hand outstretched,

“James, invite—,” He looks at James as it clicks in the warlock’s head.

John grins at him, “Got your girl, Loki. Oh and look,” He turns to face her again, “Open wide, little flower.”

Y/N complies, John places two pills gingerly onto her tongue.

“Loki, come inside!” Bucky recounts as Loki drops onto the floor.

“Made him co-owner of the house.” John chuckles, cupping Y/N’s jaw, “Always trying to one up me little flower.” He squeezes and she whimpers.

Loki stands, hand on his hidden stake. He looks at James, allowing him to lead.

“Mate spit it out.” Loki snarls, leaping to grab her away, he pushes two fingers into her mouth but the pills have already melted halfway. He scoops out the melted remains, dragging her towards the kitchen to have her rinse her mouth.

“You shouldn’t have done that John.” Bucky warns, forming a fist with his hand and John falls to his knees.

“You’re going to kill me Barnes?” John laughs, then screams at the pain of every cell in his body is on fire.

“No, I’m going to make you beg for your death.” Bucky’s voice is cold, hollow, John’s limbs give a sickening crack as he withers on the floor.

Without moving his eyes from John, “You need to enter her mind, her safe space, remind her of the sigil I made. The second you return, he dies.” Bucky informs and Loki nods.

Y/N’s eyes are glazed over. He had seen her this way and he hated that he was the reason for it.

She had been right, in thinking he would leave after this ordeal, how could he stay? How could he allow himself to find have his happiness?

Loki contemplates his words said to Bucky, her words said to Bucky.

Was punishing themselves the answer?

All him leaving did was cause immense damage and pain.

John’s fifth scream draws Loki back his attention, he lays Y/N gently onto the couch, kneeling at the edge he grasps her hand.

The compliance didn’t allow him to guide her to rise her mouth.

He would not require physical contact but it grounded him. She grounded him.

“That all you got, Barnes? A few show tricks?” John speaks through gritted teeth.

“Oh did you want more? Did I tell you I learned how to take over minds as well?” Bucky smirks, everything around them dissolves into John’s childhood home.

“The fuck—,” John’s voice is cut off as he moves into the memory as himself.

He’s walking into the part, spotting the girl he likes, gestures with his head as she catches his eye to go upstairs.

“You did unspeakable things, didn’t you?” Bucky stands in front of John blocking his way to the room.

“But daddy’s money got you off. The poor girl cried and cried. Never got her justice.” He glares at John, the memory of the two nights John spent in jail brought forward.

“You didn’t even let your cellmate live peacefully, a little bribe here and there and you wanted him beat up by guards for fun.” Bucky tsks, gripping John’s hair and pulling his head back.

“You know what John, let us see how you take a beating, let us throw you into the pit. Let us see how you survive. Let us see how you beg for mercy.” Bucky chuckles darkly, allowing the altered illusions to take over, Loki’s blood thrumming allowing him to tap into his magick deeper, refine it.

Bucky watches as John begins to beg early on, pleading so soon.

“You really take the fun out of things, now, hmm, how about multiple vampires preying upon you?” Bucky taps his chin as if in thought.

“N-no-,” John resists but is too late, he’s being held down by himself and the coven preys upon him as he preyed upon Y/N.

John screams, wails and pleads. Bucky pulls himself out of the mind, allowing his spell to keep everything on a loop right from John being beaten up in jail.

Using his time he casts an impenetrable spell onto the house, hexing anyone who touches it, masking the magick. Using the surplus from the moon to cover his signature. The celestials knew how to break spells if they knew the witch or warlock casting the said spell. He couldn’t afford distractions or delays.

Loki huffs, locating her hidden room was difficult, there was so much, so much he was sifting through. So much Y/N never uttered out loud, so much she held in even when he was right by her side. Even when he did ask her to share everything.

He spots a familiar memory, the one of Bucky leaving, then the one of him leaving. Something tugs on his arm, it is a younger version of Y/N, pre teen, her eyes hold the same gleam of magic which he had seen before.

“Are you looking for me?” She questions, Loki nods.

“Do you know where we are?” He crouches down to be at level with her.

She shakes her head, “I was left alone by dad, never found anyone.”

“I’m so sorry that happened. I’m here for you, to take you home to Bucky and I.” He wipes her tear.

“Bucky?” She repeats.

Loki nods, “He is a very special person for the two of us. Can I tell you what happens when you grow up?”

Younger Y/N nods.

“You grow up into being the most wonderful soul, immensely kind and generous and oh so resilient. You grow up into being a physiotherapist they are specialised people who help sick people become better. You also write stories and poems, so beautiful.” Loki wipes more of her tears.

“Are you there in my future?” She questions sniffling, “Or did you leave too?”

“I am there, I, I did leave once and it hurt you a lot, I’m sorry I did that. I came back to mend things, I won’t leave you again.” He promises.

“Were you angry at me? Dad left cause he was angry at me. Everyone leaves me.” She sighs sadly, Loki’s heart twists.

“I wasn’t angry at you, I was angry at myself. I should not have done that, I really am sorry.” He says, she nods considering his words.

“You’re here to find big me right?” She questions and he nods.

“If I take you there will you promise not to leave me and her?” She peers into his green eyes.

“I promise, not going to let you go again, witchling.” He smiles when younger Y/N giggles at the nickname.

She grabs his hand and signals for him to be quiet, she leads him through several more memories that he knew and didn’t know. They stand in an empty room and just as Loki is about to question the lights turn on and its the infinity light mirror room.

At the centre is a thin outline he looks down at the child holding his hand.

“She’s in there, please take care of her, Loki. Tell, tell Bucky too.” He bends down again, opening his arms wide to hug her, she does and presses a kiss to his cheek. Then giggles running off.

Loki takes in a deep breath, moving to the door, it opens easily and Y/N lays on the corner chair in his office, curled up with the last book he was reading to her before he left.

“Y/N.” He breathes, she gazes up at him.

“Loki? I didn’t, I didn’t picture—,” Her words are cut off with his lips upon hers.

Hand cupping her face tenderly, his other hand around her waist drawing her close.

Y/N finds warmth bloom in her chest, beginning to let go of everything that she carries, sinking into Loki. Her soft sigh against his lips, drowning in the kiss.

Loki pulls away, “There is so much you haven’t told me.” He brushes her cheek, “I haven’t been the best mate I could be to you have I?”

Y/N closes her eyes, “I don’t have an answer for you.”

“I will take care of you.” Loki admits.

“I attempted to sneak in here about a month after you left.” She moves away from him; a gnawing emptiness eats at his chest.

“Everything was the way it was, right down to the book on the stand. However, you. You were gone, Loki.”

Loki grasps her shoulders, looking to the eyes he fell in love with.

“I’m going to mend the pieces. I’m going to stay, because I have a chance at forever with you. I’m not giving it up. I was stupid to have done so before.” He presses his lips to her forehead.

“Bucky asked me to tell you about the sigil. Trust me once again. I won’t break it.” He promises.

Y/N closes her eyes, Loki watches as lines are formed on the floor, on the walls, on the ceiling they begin to chip away her defences.

“Where is the compulsion demon?” Loki murmurs.

“I never found it… I hid once fighting became too much… When he ordered you to be un-invited.”

Just as the walls break he spots the dark murky creature. Looming over them.

“Get him here.” Bucky’s voice cuts through, Loki and Y/N stare at him. Worried for his well-being.

“We don’t have much time.” Bucky warns, Y/N turns to the creature, reaching outward. It would attempt to latch onto her.

Loki grabs onto either mate’s hands.

As the creature lunges for them, Bucky nods at Loki.

The vampire moves Y/N out of the way, pulling Bucky to the front, his outstretched hand that harbours the stake pierces through the chest of the creature. It howls in pain.

The sigils light up again,

“Go!” Bucky yells towards them, Y/N gazes at Bucky as Loki pulls her to follow the way out using the sigils.

“I’ll be there.” Bucky promises.

Y/N awakens, sitting up on the couch. Loki’s hand intertwined with hers. They turn to gaze at Bucky, his hand is fisted against John’s chest.

The warlock breathes harshly, pulling his hand back.

John tilts backward, the stake falls from Bucky’s hand to the ground in synchrony with the vampire’s body.

He turns towards his soulmates, “Now it is over.”

Loki and Y/N move, the three meet mid way, arms around each other.

“Not clean again.” She murmurs, after they pull away, the two feel her disappointment. Her vision blurred and the onset of the high.

“We’ll get back on track, it is okay.” Bucky cups her cheek.

“Every step of the way.” Loki assures, cupping her other cheek.

“What if I can’t do it?” She questions, worried.

“We’ll keep trying till you can.” Bucky assures and Loki nods.

Present.

Nia sits atop the hood of the car, staring at the house.

“Do you have an ability to burn down enchantments with your eyes?” Stephen chuckles dryly.

“If only.” Nia rolls her eyes.

It had been thirty minutes since the house had turned into a impenetrable fortress the celestials couldn’t recognise the magick and Luna deemed the essence unfamiliar to Bucky’s coven either.

Wong studied the issue at hand; when he came up short, Nia was disappointed.

They stay rooted in place, waiting, without sound without any way to know.

“Nia.” Maya points at the porch.

“Karli’s body?” Zemo moves closer, stepping foot onto the grass.

Everyone waits for him to be sent flying backwards but he doesn’t move from his place.

Slowly all of them approach the porch, Loki opens the door.

“What the fuck? Loki!” Nia yells and he takes a step back as she enters.

“Where is my best friend and where the fuck is John?” She glides into her human house.

The uninvited vampires stay outside, watching.

“Wait, we’re human.” Miles shakes his head and crosses the threshold followed by Clark and Sierra.

“Hi Nia.” Bucky and Y/N greet while John’s body is levitating.

“Wha—,” Nia’s jaw drops.

“Oh yeah John’s dead, so is Karli.” Bucky explains.

“We were just getting rid of the bodies…” Loki comes to stand beside them.

“What was the magick covering the house?” Clark questions.

“Well that was my doing.” Bucky admits.

“It did not seem like your coven signature?” Luna adds.

Sierra observes them with narrowed eyes.

“I honed my skills separately as well, I do prefer studying so the magick outside was my own.” He shrugs, then raises a brow at Sierra.

“You three…” She tilts her head, able to observe the weakly interconnected bond lines.

Bucky gives her a nod, smiling.

“I adore it.” Nia cheers as a ripple of understanding occurs amongst everyone. A three person bond.

Stephen catches Loki’s eye from outside, giving his friend a smile and nod. Loki gives him a half smile, a wordless conversation between them.

Upon inviting Stephen, Wong, Luna, Zemo and Maya inside the humans undergo first aid from the doctor. The kitchen turning into an impromptu ER.

When Y/N sits on the counter, Stephen sighs as his ability advises him on the mental health damage done as well.

“Will I be benched again?” She wonders, Bucky and Loki stand at the entrance of the kitchen, listening closely attempting not to make it obvious.

It was blatantly obvious but Stephen choses to not say anything.

“We can talk about that later.” Stephen gives her a smile of comfort but she shakes her head.

“Your grades have taken a dive, clinical work is good. Attendance on the lower side.”

“Am I going to go into year two? I don’t even know which set of parents will be disappointed.” She laughs then bites her lip, tears pool in her waterline.

“Witchling.” “Poetess.” Both of them gaze at her with concern.

She shakes her head, looking back at Stephen.

“Let me speak to the academic director. If there is a way for you to redeem I’ll let you know, if not we’ll have to just see how your finals score next month, does that sound alright? You can work to do better in the second year.” Stephen patches up the wounds which were definitely non existent before but now she could feel every ache and pain.

“Okay.” Her voice is quiet and Stephen knows how she is feeling, he’d seen her passion and drive.

“Look, Y/N, you should rest up. Loki email me from her student account needing a few days break, I’ll have a doctor’s certificate arranged.” Stephen stands, before he can offer a helping hand to Y/N her mates are holding out a hand each for her to grasp.

Through the bleakness of her academic career on the line she smiles, heart warming at their gesture. Grasping both of their hands she gets off the counter.

Loki looks towards Stephen, “Thank you.”

“All in a day’s work.” He waves them off.

Nia stands on the porch ordering a few vampires around for getting rid of the bodies, for Thor she turns to Loki as he enters the living room with Y/N and Bucky by his side.

“Loki, could I speak to you?” She looks between the three.

He nods, parting from his mates.

“Can we go and get Midnight in the mean time?” Y/N requests, Bucky turns to Stephen who lights up at the prospect of seeing Emery again.

“That seems wise.” Loki smiles at them.

Loki and Nia walk back into the kitchen,

“Is this about Thor?” He questions.

“Yeah… I just, I wish I had known sooner or said something…” Nia fiddles with the rings on her fingers.

“None of us knew his plot… I thought he was working for all of our interests.” Loki offers her an apologetic smile.

“Also, he um, we had this morbid discussion while he pretended to be human, about where we want to be buried or like last rites…”

“He wants to be buried in our old village?” Loki offers and Nia nods.

“I’ll have that arranged, you’re too kind despite his behaviour, I wish he would have not gotten blinded for power.” He shakes his head.

“He was turning into another Alexander.” She comments.

“Faria… Y/N’s actual mother, she attempted to kill Alexander before because of him being power hungry. All she wanted was a family.” He traces the wooden panelling of the floor with his gaze.

“He killed her didn’t he?” She huffs a dark laugh, “Stupid men.” Venom glazes over her eyes.

“Nia…” Loki steps forward, she was akin to his own little sister. Nia nods, allowing him to give her a hug.

“You’re much stronger and I know you will comment that this is a bullshit thing to say to someone who is feeling weak, however, you need to be reminded of your strength.” He says and she nods.

“Thank you.” She mumbles, her arms around him tighten, “I forgive you for what you put her through. I know I said I wouldn’t, I know I said some horrible things.”

“Nia, its—,” Loki begins and she pulls away.

“No, I just, don’t make me regret forgiving you okay? One misstep and you won’t be alive to be away from her or James because I will personally stake you.” She warns and Loki nods.

“I did deserve all that you said to me, thank you for your forgiveness I won’t let you down.” He assures.

They watch as the vampires take away John and Karli’s bodies, Loki raises a brow when there is an entire cleaning crew who is using their speed to get all the wrecked things in order.

“Yeah, apparently Alexander had a newly attached clean crew incase things got out of hand.” Nia comments upon his observations.

“Well he did leave quite the mess.” Loki shakes his head, “Are you taking the throne?”

This time Nia shakes her head, “I might give it away to Luna. After everything I think she should have it. I’d give it to Wong but he gave me a warning look and I do not want to invoke his anger. Stephen well is in love with medicine.”

“He may just love Emery more.” Loki chuckles think about his friend, “And I agree about Wong.”

“Do you want it?” Nia gazes up at him, he contemplates the offer.

“No, I prefer my life without his trace or shadow. Even if it is the throne.” Loki admits, running his thumbs across his palms.

His past deeds resurface, the two bonds reach out towards him in comfort.

He sighs at ease, letting the thoughts go.

“What is like having two mates?” Nia questions.

“Well for starters I haven’t really given them justice. I’m just glad they trust me enough to stay.” He bites the inside of his cheek.

“Will you complete the bond?” Nia has this smirk on her face the same smirk she had awarded Y/N when she walked into the kitchen when Loki spent the night.

“Get your mind out of the gutter.” He gives her a grimace.

“Oh come on, threesomes, hot mates.” Nia teases.

“I will tell Wong you’re giving him the throne if you do not shut up.” He warns walking towards the garden where Wong stood.

“No!” Nia yells, Loki takes off with his speed laughing much to her displeasure.

——<>——

“You know I’m annoyed at you.” Emery declares. Y/N winces as she takes a seat, the soreness and pain would only become more apparent as the drugs and adrenaline faded.

“I’m sorry, it wasn’t my place to tell.” She informs them.

“You let me talk about my crush and you knew he could hear!” They huff, crossing their arms across their chest.

“Also you were dealing with vampires all this time? Young lady.” They give her their best glare and Y/N only wants to laugh because Emery is absolutely adorable when angry.

“Don’t you dare say, I’m adorable.” They warn her with their index finger raised.

“But— okay, alright I’ll admit, but it was fun watching Doctor Strange smile to himself at your confession. Also butterflies? How cute is that?” Y/N gushes and Emery blushes.

Currently Stephen was giving a small house tour to Bucky who was holding a sleeping midnight to his chest. The little fur-ball immediately took to liking him. The best way to show her approval? Sleeping in his arms.

“I have it on video.” Y/N chuckles, retrieving her phone.

“Have what on video?” Stephen questions as he enters with Bucky following behind.

“Well this video of Emery and you speaking but after they walk away you have this love sick look—,”

“No.” Stephen glares, Emery tilts their head to the side.

“Fine.” He grumbles.

The three humans aw at Stephen’s loving gaze trailing after Emery and it disappears the minute another student steps in his line of vision.

Emery grasps at his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze that had butterflies burst across the bond for him.

Y/N smiles up at Bucky from where he sits on the handle of the sofa. Midnight curls onto her bed.

Bucky grins down at her.

Slowly he leans in, Y/N holds her breath. Bucky’s lips brush against her temple.

Emery looks between the two then at Stephen. He nods answering their question.

“Now you haven’t told me this either.” They sigh. “Am I even your friend?” Another dramatic sigh.

“She would have but she was told all about it today.” Bucky defends.

“Oh damn, how are you processing it all?” Their demeanour shifts to concern and she shrugs.

“I honestly, today has just been so much of information. I’m, I’m taking a few days off.” Y/N sighs.

“Want me to bring you the home work after three four days?” They offer, grasping her hand to offer comfort.

“Yeah, I think, I think so.” Y/N chews upon her bottom lip.

“Then head home, you should be able to rest now.” Emery advices, she nods.

Emery stays back, Stephen promises a quick return. The ride back is silent, Bucky chooses to sit next to Y/N in the backseat.

Midnight is curled between them, Y/N stares out the window, it was close to noon, the entire previous night gone in battles of varying degrees.

Stephen parks in the driveway of her home, she stares at the door handle for a few moments. Bucky catches Stephen’s gaze in the rearview mirror.

“We can stay out here if you want…” Bucky offers, she shakes her head.

She opens the door, holding Midnight carefully so she doesn’t run off.

Loki waits at the threshold of the house, wordless conversation with Stephen taking place.

As they enter, the house seems untouched. Midnight jumps from Y/N’s arms and pads up the stairs to her room. Loki takes the litter box and bowls, utilising his speed to place them for the fur ball. She meows at him and Loki gives her chin rubs.

Y/N knows a conversation awaits, regarding how they would traverse this new bond. Bucky had missed out on months with both of them. Loki had missed out on more with Bucky than herself.

“Hey.” Bucky draws her attention as she stands still on the first step.

She looks at him.

“Rest. We can always talk about everything later. Honestly my brain will turn to mush if I have to take on one more heavy thing.” He gives her a playful smile but the tired edges around his features show the truth.

“He’s right.” Loki adds from the top of the stairs, “Rest, you both require it, conversations can take place later.”

Y/N looks between the two of them, chin wobbling as tears spring to her eyes, everything crashes upon her. Loki grasps her into his arms, her head buried into his chest as she holds onto his shirt.

Sobs shaking her body.

“I’ve got you, witchling.” He murmurs, running his hand over her head.

“Lets get her to bed.” Bucky whispers, Loki uses his speed once again, she lays still curled up against him, sobs diminishing in intensity.

Bucky gazes around the room, he moves his palm in a swooping motion igniting the lavender and vanilla scented candles.

Loki and Bucky gaze at each other then upon Y/N, the shaking of her body gone only sniffles here and there.

The warlock takes a seat at the foot of the bed. Hesitantly raising his eyes to the empty space beside Loki.

“The day was hard upon you too.” Y/N murmurs.

Bucky shifts his eyes to her, his lips part to form an excuse to not intrude upon their time more than what he has already.

“You missed out longer, Bucky, please. Stop punishing yourself.” She insists, he walks to Loki’s side and the vampire opens his arms to allow Bucky to move closer.

The thrumming in their bond grew, snowflakes dancing across their chests, as Bucky rests his head against Loki’s shoulder.

Something about finally being intimate, finally allowing himself all that he denied.

Bucky begins to let his tears fall freely as well, Y/N reaches out to intertwine their hands. Loki presses a kiss to his forehead and Bucky shifts hiding his face in the crook of his mate’s neck.

“There is much to grieve, today. The loss immeasurable, carried since months, I’ve got you, I’ve got you both, I’m not letting go.” Loki speaks, his words offering comfort, offering hope.

The tears and sobs settle, he counts their breathing till it evens out. His mates fall asleep as the exhaustion pulls them into slumber.

Loki closes his eyes, morphing their dreams to show a future he could picture.

A happy future.

-x-x-x-x-

AN: hi everyone! sorry this took so long, i actually had it written just needed to finish the very last bit!

taglist open! just comment below to be added!

tagging: @camerons-specialinterest @stevesmewmew @pandaxnienke

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altagraye · 3 years

Text

Through a Glass, Darkly pt 2

Pt 2: Adjustment Therapy

2024, The Otherworld, Delacroix, Louisiana-- The Wilson Family Home.

TW!: Cussing, drama, arguments, keeping secrets.

Read pt 1 here: Through a Glass, Darkly pt 1: Go Ask Alice

Author’s Note: This one is SO LONG! I am SO sorry!

You woke to birds chirping happily outside an unfamiliar house. it was a sizeable room from what you could tell. you sat up brushing wayward tufts of hair behind your ear. You were alone. Of that you were grateful. some time to yourself meant you could try to gather your thoughts. Natasha and Sam are a thing, with kids. I’m honestly happy for them. Joy is a great color on them.

Bucky. My dear James. He...looks so terribly sad. There must be something i can do to help him. He wasn’t in the room, and from his words earlier, maybe he was watching over me as i slept? Something is gnawing at him. You turned your vibrainium wedding ring on your finger as you thought about him. Even if you’re not my Bucky, I need to make you okay. I need to see that once in a blue moon type of smile on your face again.

With the stone eroded, was there even a chance you could get back to your own reality? to your Bucky and Sam? If Nat was alive and the second Soul Stone could in fact cheat death, or at least your version of it, then... Where was Steve? Sure Steve wasn’t dead, but for what other reason would Bucky be wearing his suit? It’s not a prank, there’s too many people involved. If Pietro was in the picture, then what happened to Wanda? Was Vision out there somewhere? Nat never mentioned Clint once. Maybe Tony was walking the streets of New York again?

You let your hands rake across your face. You let out a deep sigh. I can’t think about this too much right now. If i let this get to me, it’ll kill me. You got up from bed, its springs creaking as you did. The old wooden floors moaning beneath your weight in various spots as you carried yourself to the window.

Pushing the dainty white sheer curtains out of your way, the light blinded you if for a moment. Several oak trees called this place home, they were massive and adorned with low swaying Spanish moss. You noticed a long dirt driveway warn from years of tires, people coming and going. A smile crept along your face seeing Bucky and Sam in the large yard, training. Bucky threw the shield, his shield, it’s target landing squarely in a tree some feet away. You were just able to make out Sam yelling at him.

“Hey! Stop making dents in my trees man!” Sam said taking the shield with some difficulty out of the tree and tossing it back to Bucky. a certain sadness washed over you. I miss you so much! You must be devastated, searching everywhere for me. I’m gonna try everything to get back to you, my love. Tears dropped silently from your eyes, quickly you wiped away their hot stains on your cheeks. You gathered yourself and was just about to exit your room when Nat called up from the first floor.

“Karli! Nate! Time for lunch!” You opened your bedroom door just as you heard the rumbling chaos of feet.

“I’ll beat you there! I’m gonna get you! Ooooh! Too slow!!, Got ya!!” Karli said with zeal to the little boy, her brother, scooping him up in her arms and planting him on her waist before he was able to reach the stairs. The boy squealed with innocent excitement. You didn’t recognize the boy’s face at all, but the girl was a different story. She couldn’t be older than 16, she was the same as you remember. Brilliant auburn hair, beautiful body-wide freckles, deep brown eyes, fair skin. And as she played with her little brother, a smile that made your heart melt. Bittersweetly, you remember her lifeless body in Sam’s arms, descending into the crowd of onlookers and news crewmen.

Seeing her like this, was like a gut punch, it took all the wind from your lungs. This small moment was not so one-sided. Karli noticed you, recognized you even. Her face hardened and she gulped, he face paling even more, like she’d been staring a ghastly ghost this whole time. Her eyes never left yours as she yelled down to Nat, her mother, “We’re Coming!!”

Karli reluctantly broke the eye contact and hurried down the stairs, into the kitchen. You braced yourself on the door jamb, you weren’t sure if you could handle this, but you need to keep going. you closed your eyes and took in a deep breath. Flashes of being on the dock, consoling Steve as he wept for Natasha, you did the same but you felt you had to stay strong for him.

You gathered yourself and traveled down the stairs lightly. The sound of clinking dishes and several happy cooing from Nate graced your ears. A floorboard creaked loudly beneath your feet as you just barely crossed the threshold into the kitchen. Nat was dressed in pajamas that hugged her curves, adorned with cute pictures of knives on her pants. Karli preoccupied herself with a fresh piece of toast and jam. She didn’t dare to look at you. Nate began chanting, “toas, toas, toas!” happy to get some toast for himself in his blue highchair.

Nat... had a family. She’s a mother. What would she say if she saw this? Is this something you would have wanted, Nat? A lazy Saturday morning, feeding your kids lunch while your husband trained outside in the front yard? Is this the kind of happiness you would have thought of? Did you ever dream of this? A small piece of normalcy?

“Well don’t just stand there, Y/N. My cooking isn’t that bad.” Nat made a snooty remark, pointing to an empty chair across the table, where no one else was sitting. She turned around and fixed my plate. I sat down awkwardly occasionally jutting my gaze towards Karli. She didn’t try to look at me. Instead she worked on scarfing down her food. Nate played with his food, taking one of the piece of cut up toast and waving it around like an airplane.

Nat confidently gave me a plate of her cooking, just when i was about to interject and request no eggs. But she was already on top of it. staring at the plate in front of me, a bit dumbfounded.

“Toast with strawberry jam, cheesy grits, and a side of bacon. no eggs. just like you like it.” Nat sat down and rested her chin in her palms, smiling proudly at her accomplishment.

“Thank you, Nat. But, How did you--”

“Silly Goose, You and Bucky lived here too, for a time. I couldn’t forget my best friends favorite breakfast foods. Never in a million years.” She smiled up at me and directed her attention to Nate who whooped loudly. The front screen door screamed in protest as it was opened and slammed loudly in its closure. Sam and Bucky came in, a sweating mess from a long morning of non-stop training.

Bucky was hesitant but grabbed some food after Sam, both of them fixing their own plates. Bucky reluctantly sat down next to you. You gave him a weak smile and tucked a few strands of your hair behind your ear. Your first instinct was to rest your head on his shoulder but instead you shoved another mouthful of grits into yours mouth. The flavor distracting you from the pain of wanting to connect to Bucky. Yes he was different but wasn’t he still your Bucky? Your James?

Karli was the first one finished with her food, clearly there was something bothering her. Quite rudely she rose from her eat, the chair scraping the floorboards loudly. Sam rose an index finger at her, “Ah ah ah! No. Manners.”

“But!--” Karli growled and rolled her eyes.

“Karli. Geneva. Wilson. If you don’t sit your butt down. Be cordial. Sam ordered and Karli grudgingly sat back down. She gulped, and for a second, just a second she looked back at me. She regretted the decision immediately, turning her face away.

“May I be excused?” Karli asked, bawling her fists in her lap. Sam let out a sigh through chewing his piece of bacon. “Go ahead.” Karli nearly bolted out of the room, setting her dishes in the sink with a loud clink. She ran up the stairs and to her bedroom, closing the door with a loud bang. Nat closed her eyes and shook her head. That was awkward and I feel like I’m to blame. You continued to eat your meal and once Sam was finished he wiped his mouth and excused himself from the table.

“This girl is gonna be the death of me i swear.” Sam muttered to himself as he walked away, following after his daughter. Nat gave us a smile and you smiled back. “The grits are really good. perfect texture and flavor.” you complimented her truthfully.

“Well i’m glad someone enjoys my cooking. You’re always open to have more if you’re still hungry. You too Cap. Just try not to eat through everything, alright? Sam’s appetite is bad enough, add a Super Soldier in the mix? whew. I’m teasing Bucky. Eat up.” Nat said as she gathered up Nate and put him on her hip. He’d made a mess of himself. She left the room, humming an unfamiliar tune, something in Russian.

The tension kept growing through the silence. You ate and grabbed your plate, rinsing it off and setting down in the sink. You sat back down across from Bucky, waiting patiently while he finished eating. You stared down at your ring again, twirling it around your finger, nervously. You admired the way the pewter and golden colors glinted in the light of the kitchen.

“You’re a married woman. He must be a lucky man. From the looks of it--- that could be a ring only Tony Stark could afford.” He gulped down his last bite of toast. Gosh the way he just looked at you, you could almost see those puppy dog eyes again.

“The lucky man, isn’t far away. He never left me. But it’s like he’s blinded, and I don’t know how to make him see again.” you smiled remembering your Bucky.

Rising from his seat and grabbing up his plate he spoke, “Well I hope he’s still salvageable. Uh. You can stay here as long as you want. Don’t tell Nat, but if you ever want something other than her cooking, i’ll go out and get you whatever you want.” He came over to the sink and you stood up from your seat. You chuckled. Maybe somethings couldn’t change, even from universe to universe. You wanted to wrap your arms around him, to kiss him, to feel his hair as you ran your fingers through it. Wishful thinking.

“Thank you for the favor. I’ll keep that in mind.” this is a cruel torture. To be so close yet, eons away from the other. Natasha came back from around the corner, putting Nate down on the ground and tapping his butt lightly, “Go on, find your sister.” the boy got excited once again and ran up the stairs. Bucky Smiled at the little boy as he passed.

“They really do grow like weeds. Need me to go into town for anything Nat? Y/N?” Bucky asked. You waved your hand and your head, you didn’t need anything.

“Yeah could you pick up a Happy-kit from the corner store? Looks like this one needs a pick-me-up!” Nat nudged your side and you couldn’t help but smile. “C’mon, let’s make it a girls day. No Super Soldiers or Birds allowed!” Nat said pointing to Bucky as he exited the room and waved her off.

“Oooo, yellow is definitely your color.” Nat praised as she pressed the yellow bikini against your clothed form. “C’mon, try it on, we’re losing daylight.”

You were shy at first but followed Nat’s lead anyway. She had a red bikini on herself and a straw hat, a flowing sun robe and flip flops. You helped her bring two sunchairs to the dock out back. You waited for her to return, enjoying the subtle noises the lake was making. You peered out into the distance, this was, nice. you can’t remember the last time you’d had any downtime for yourself, let alone spend it with another person.

“The finishing touch won’t be complete with a little liquid courage.” Nat broke the silence returning with a small cooler filled with beer for her and she handed you a bottle of your favorite wine. Sweet Pink Moscato. it’s been a long time since you had a drink.

“Wow. thanks, Nat. really thank you for everything you’re doing. you don’--”

“I insist. Y/N, don’t feel bad for being pampered or taken care of. you deserve it as much as anyone else here.” She said firmly tipping her sun glasses to peer at me as she sat down in her chair. You nodded allowing yourself to lay back in the chair. listening to the birds and the sounds of the lake lapping at it’s edges. The hot Louisiana sun baking your skin. Every so often you’d take a swig of your wine. You weren’t sure ow much time had passed, 30 minutes? an hour? you didn’t really need to know anyhow.

“Hey, Nat?” you asked after finishing another swig of your wine, the bottle now a quarter of the way done.

“Yeah?”

“How did you and Sam meet?” you asked tossing your head over to her.

“Well, He got put on a mission to investigate the Red Room. I was there about to, um, graduate. But in the knick of time, he saved me, among some others. it didn’t happen right away. at first we kind of hated each other. but he showed me shield, offered me something better, you know?” she said sitting up.

“not too long after that, we got married. You and Cap hit it off just after I got this,” she pulled down her bikini bottom just a tad revealing a decent horizontal scar along her belly, below her belly button. “I cried the first time i held her. I was only seconds away from really becoming a widow. it’s so crazy to think, what would have happened if that big dumb pigeon never came swooping in? I don’t think about it much. You and Cap came here after you uhhhhh. Nevermind. Four years ago, Nate was born here. In this house. Lemme tell you, if you ever decide to opt out of the epidural, take it!”

You gave her a weakened smile, “Noted.”

You two stayed under the sun for a few hours, making sure to put on sunblock and enjoy your drinks. You went inside at the first sign of thunder in the distance. You went towards the shower when Bucky came out, shirtless, his longer than usual hair dampened onto his forehead. He paused and took in your image in the bikini. he was mesmerized.

“Wow. uh. You’re beautiful. Huh? Did you say something?” he asked getting flustered in no time flat.

“Uh no. no i didn’t say anything. um, are you done with the shower? I’ll be out soon. I just want to get this sunscreen and sweat off. I uh---” you began to stammer with your words, unable to keep your gaze away from his prominent muscles and dangerously low towel. Once again he was unable to control his urges and swooped in, his large hand caressing your jawline, index finger brushing behind your ear, the rest of his fingers putting slight pressure beneath the base of your skull. he dragged you in for a kiss. it was a sloppy yet tender yearning. You couldn’t help but brace yourself against his chest.

You savored that feeling, of flesh against flesh. He couldn’t stop kissing you, and you him. it was an agonizingly sweet tug of war. you’d leaned into his lips and hummed having to stand on your tippy toes to reach him. but he abruptly broke the kiss. landing his forehead on your own, panting, you searched his face. He was wanting something-- more. Something that wasn’t sensual.

“Come back to me Doll. Please. It doesn’t matter, I already know what we’ve lost. Y/N, I need you. I’ve been so disoriented since they took you. I-if you need to see her i can take you to her. Just tell me what you need sweetheart. I’ll get you the moon. please I’ve been dying without you. I’m here. I’m here now. They can’t hurt you any longer.” there are no words to describe the kid of pain that you felt coming from this man. this man that you have loved so dearly. All his differences didn’t seem to matter but there was information you were sorely lacking. If Bucky, Sam, and Nat have needed me so desperately, they needed to know my side of things.

They needed your universe of happenings. they needed all of it, every single piece of broken history you could offer them. My hands reached up to Bucky’s neck. you were so confused.

“James? Who is her?” you asked starting to get scared for his mental state. His face deflated and looked as if it was weighted down by something.

“Forgive me. I was out of line, Doll. Go ahead, wash up. I’ll be in the living room.” Bucky said, utterly defeated, his strong back caved in on itself, like he was carrying the weight of the world on them. He sat on the bed and you closed your eyes. What could have possibly happened?

As you dried your hair with a towel, a car horn was heard outside the residence. Karli and Nate were going out shopping with their Aunt Sarah, who you noticed to have no children and considerably shorter hair. Karli, you saw had calmed down after getting a lecture from her father. You were sitting in the living room with Bucky a distance away from him. But you were able to hear what Karli and Nat were saying.

“Can I drive?! Please!” Karli asked practically begging.

“Nice try but No. and i’m texting Sarah to make sure you don’t.” Nat said firmly.

“Why not?! I have my license!”

“Drop that tone with me young lady before I make you fix that boat.” Nat’s tone didn’t change, maybe that was what was so scary about her authority. It was collected and almost calm.

“Yes ma’am.” Karli surrendered.

“And you don’t have your license, you have your permit, big difference. Watch your brother, have fun, and do not wander around the mall. You’ll give your Aunt a heart attack!” Nat ended closing the front door.

Sam came in and Natasha followed soon after. The tension was thick in the air. So you decided to be the one to break it.

“Alright. I need you guys to know a few things. I know that i look and act like Y/N but i’m not Y/N, not really. Well, i guess i am but at the same time i’m not.” you said spitting out the first things that came to mind.

Sam adjusted in his seat on the couch, his eyebrows furrowed in curiosity and confusion.

“What do you mean, not Y/N?” he asked, placing a hand on Nat’s knee.

“Just let me tell you my story. it may or may not make sense, but it’s mine. I hate to see you all walk on eggshells because of me. please, just give it a listen.” you pleaded with the room, looking at their downtrodden faces.

“We’ll listen, Doll.” Bucky broke the silence and scooted closer to you, grabbing your hand. You weren’t sure who needed it more. You or him?

“I don’t even know what to say. I’m... dead? all because i gave myself up for a, what was it? a damned Soul stone?! nah, i’m gonna need a beer for this. Babe you want any?” Nat was overwhelmed, you thought that telling them your version of the world would make things less mucky. but maybe it made it worse? Bucky has been unable to speak for about an hour.

the blazing sunset was just making its arrival into the back windows. Karli and Nate should be coming back soon. Sam craned his neck across the couch to answer his wife.

“Sure babe, bring two please.” he asked and she returned with the alcohol. Hell, that Heineken was looking good to you now. Anything to take the edge off. Bucky ran his hands through his hair.

“Don’t bother making dinner for me. I’m not hungry Nat. If you need me, you know where to look.” Bucky said rising from his seat on the couch, nearly ripping his grip from your own. You got up to follow him. he slammed the front door, accidentally ripping it off its hinges.

Karli, Sarah, and Nate saw it all happen. Karli had flowers in her hand, a beautiful small bouquet with red roses, white lilies, and Baby’s Breath. By then Bucky ran out of sight, down a small path. Karli strode up to you with a fury.

“What did you do? Huh?! What did you say to him?!” Her face aflame with anger.

“I-I didn’t do anything.” you said flabbergasted by her reaction.

“UGH! Come here! If you can’t remember the truth on your own, I’ll show you!” Karli snatched your hand up and practically drug you down the pathway. Karli ignored her aunt’s calls for her to stop and come back.

it didn’t take long to catch up to Bucky. in a small wooded area, there was an opening next to a weeping willow tree. Bucky was knelt by a small gravestone.

“See Y/N, do you remember now?” Karli said letting you go and flinging you towards the grave. Bucky got up from his resting place.

“Thank you for the flowers Karli but you really need to leave. Apologize to Y/N too.” Bucky said looking thoroughly done with her attitude but softly taking the flowers anyway.

“Apologize?! Hell no! Y/N read it! read the stone.” Karli shoved your back, as you turned to read it. In cursive letters it read:

Blair Wanda Barnes - 2016

‘Before I formed you in your mother’s womb, I knew you.’

You stared at it for a long time. you had no idea what to say or how to think.

“Dammit Y/N! How could you?! How could you be so cold to Bucky? He comes here every morning! HYDRA took everything from him. Looks like they took more than we thought, since you’re so fucked up! You can’t even remember your own daughter!!” Karli yelled at you. You froze staring at those words and the name engraved on the stone.

Karli was crying and ran away out of sight. You were so frozen you had to remember to take a breath. You tried to read the stone again but dog tags and a blue Henley blocked your vision.

“Doll, you don’t have to see this, please. Just go lie down. I’ll join you in a little while.” Bucky ordered softly. you looked up at him noticing how his voice was cracking wildly. tears fell from his eyes. this was the second time you’d seen him so beside himself. the first being your Bucky in Wakanda, when his mind was freed. You had no words. you just followed suit, wandering back into the house.

You followed the steps up to your room. ignoring Nat and Sam’s calls you closed the bedroom door. You felt so numb, the kind of pain that came with that, you couldn’t describe it. You felt violated almost, this kind of news was not meant for you to hear, not now. You had a daughter with Bucky. a daughter. Now his hesitancy makes more sense. Gods! Just laying eyes on you must be so painful! You cried, you cried for yourself, for this Bucky, and for the little bones buried in a tiny grave.

Dusk turned to night, and you were almost fully asleep when Bucky came back into your shared bedroom. the floorboards creaked underneath his weight, he’d checked to see if you were still awake. When he saw that you were asleep , or at least thought so, he gingerly kissed the center of your forehead and pulled the covers over your shoulders. He slept on the floor next to your bedside, for this Bucky’s first time in years.

-End pt 2.

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