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httpiastri · 22 days

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PERFECTLY FINE – CHAPTER TWO (JEDDAH)

genre: angst, fluff, comfort, etc.

word count: 6k

warnings: hmmm nothing except heartbreak in several scenes lol

author's note: guys im really sorry but im pretty mean to paul here..... like it got to the point where i rewatched jeddah videos of him and physically felt ill because i was mad at him LMAO 😭 but we'll get through this together!! this was supposed to include some other scenes but it was long enough as it was sooo 😶 summary for this chapter ig is yn feels very torn between her boys, and so do i. hope everyone has a good week (it's finally race week again aaaaa) !! 💗

also i think the next chapter might be shorter because i just wanna get it out already and i don't have a lot to write about in it hehe, fingers crossed that i can finish it soon<3

(alsoooo i proofread this a few days ago but i just cant find the energy or time to do it rn, praying that there are no big issues…. if there are, i would be so thankful if you could send me an ask or message etc 🙏)

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"i still can't believe i missed out on the top ten again. and by just three hundredths, even..."

pepe shakes his head as you both make your way out of the campos truck, dragging a frustrated hand through his hair before pulling on his red bull cap. you can't help but chuckle – he's been like this all day, and all evening yesterday. you understand it, though; finishing just outside the reverse grid pole once again must feel frustrating.

not that you can relate. with a much better qualifying session yesterday in your second-ever qualifying in formula 2, you managed to snatch an eight-place finish. in other words, you will be starting third in today's sprint race, and just the thought of the probability of getting some big points sends tingles through your entire body.

"you'll get it next time," you say with a pat on your friend's back. "i mean, look at ollie. from p-nowhere last week to pole yesterday. that can be you next time around."

you've just come out of your morning meeting – morning meaning starting at ten and ending around noon – and now you're finally getting some lunch in the red bull hospitality. even during a race weekend like this, with mostly evening and night sessions, you still managed to oversleep and almost didn't make it in time for your meeting. you didn't get to have any breakfast, you had to run all the way from the shuttle to the truck, and you even forgot one of your racing boots as well as your phone in your hotel room. thankfully, you'll still have time to go back to the hotel before the sprint race, but walking around without your phone feels like being naked.

"speaking of ollie," pepe starts as you turn left and head into the formula one paddock. "are things between you two... alright?"

your eyebrows furrow together at the pause in the middle of his sentence. "why wouldn't they be?"

"well, i..." he stops again, and it makes you want to shake him. "i heard something. but it doesn't matter."

"who are you to decide that it doesn't matter?" you scoff. "tell me."

pepe sighs – he knows fighting you over this is a losing battle. you're way too stubborn to let go of this. "i heard that you were having issues. that you aren't happy, or something along those lines..."

you stop in your tracks, brain working in overdrive to comprehend what your friend is telling you. not happy with ollie? why would you not be happy with him? "who told you this?"

pepe stops in front of you. "i heard it from kimi, who heard it from... paul."

"what?" your eyes squeeze shut as your hands interlace on top of your head. "why would kimi come to you? instead of asking ollie himself?"

"you know kimi," pepe starts instantly. "he's young and gullible. i think he wanted to go for the see-if-the-best-friend-knows-anything strategy instead of asking ollie straight out." his hands squeeze your shoulders softly and you look up at him, a hint of a pout on your lips. "i guess he was scared that ollie would get mad at him or something."

"it's just-" you sigh. "it doesn't make any sense, does it?" pepe is just about to say something more when you cut him off with a dismissive swat of your hand in the air, stepping away from him and continuing your walk down the paddock. "let's just forget about it. i need lunch."

pepe stands frozen for a few moments before hurrying up to you again. he can't quite read your mood – you look unbothered, but he can't help but notice the slight touch of redness of your ears and the way your eyes seemingly can't focus on one thing for long enough. there's no way you can be over it already.

with pepe shutting up for a little while for the first time ever, you're left all alone with your thoughts as you continue your stroll. you know you should've asked for more information; you should've asked for details, for exactly what kimi said and how he worded it. you probably should also ask kimi himself for what paul told him. but right now, it's like a shadow is clouding your vision.

how dare paul say something like that? he must've known that the rumors he made up would spread like wildfire, as they always do in the formula paddocks. the snowball effect can make something tiny become huge, which is why you're always cautious about rumors. but apparently, paul doesn't care about that.

you're far too enraged to think even straight, and that's why it takes pepe pulling your arm to make you stop walking. you frown – to be fair, your frown hasn't left since it appeared a few minutes ago – but when you realize what it is that he's pointing at, both your frown and your jaw drop.

there's a swarm of journalists and fans following a ferrari driver down the road in front of you, which isn't all that uncommon. both charles and carlos are always incredibly popular. but what blows your mind is the fact that when you finally catch a glimpse of the driver's face, it's neither of the team's main drivers.

it's ollie.

"ollie! mate!" pepe yells, his arm waving erratically over his head. it takes a moment for the brit to find the owner of the voice, but he's tall enough to look over everyone else, and he's soon making his way over to you both. "i know you're popular, but this all seems a little excessive, don't you think?"

"i don't know what happened, as soon as the news came out..." ollie lets out a chuckle before turning to you, eyebrows raised at your expression. "i've called you like a hundred times, what have you been up to?"

"i left my phone at the hotel-" you begin but cut yourself off and shake your head. "wait, what news?"

when ollie starts speaking, time slows down. the entire world around you goes dark, the only thing you can hear being ollie's explanation of how carlos needs surgery and the call he got as he was having lunch. you feel lightheaded, almost like you could faint, when he speaks his final words. "...and they said i will be the one to replace him. i'm driving the formula one grand prix tomorrow."

you don't waste any time before throwing yourself into his arms, a loud squeal passing through your lips. "are you kidding me?" you exclaim, hugging him even tighter. "this is incredible, ollie! oh my god, i..."

"i can't really believe it myself, to be honest," ollie says, shaking his head as you part from the hug. pepe slaps his shoulder, congratulating his friend. "i would love to stay and chat, but i need to be in the car for the last practice, and i have a lot to get done-"

"go! go!" you usher, softly shoving him away back towards the journalists and fans who are still waiting just a few meters away. "we will talk later, okay?"

"of course."

and then you watch him leave – your boyfriend, the soon-to-be formula one driver – with a much lighter heart. this definitely helps you forget about all of the things regarding paul.

at least for a little while.

but of course, pepe stops your train of thought. "does that mean i get the reverse grid pole?"

you've never ever been to the ferrari garage before, so as you stand in the middle of it, you have no idea where to go or what to do; this is completely new territory. thankfully, you got a vip-pass from ollie before he ran off for his pre-practice duties, so at least you have the privilege of looking like a fool inside of the garage instead of right outside the doors.

a fool dressed in a red bull race suit, even. great.

you were in the middle of preparations for your sprint race when ollie texted you, and since you still had some time before the race started, you made it over to the other side of the paddock as quickly as you could. but unfortunately, that meant that you didn't have time to change your outfit into something more discreet.

"you don't look like you belong here, miss," a voice rumbles from behind you. your heart stops in your chest, and you're ready to improvise an excuse or find an escape route when you turn around – but luckily, you're met with chris, ollie's manager, standing there.

"thank god you're here," you say, letting out a sigh of relief. "do you happen to know where ollie is?"

"he's borrowing carlos's room. it's right down the hall and to the left."

you quickly thank him, turning again and making your way down said hallway. the room is easy to find, the two big, red fives on the door sticking out among the white walls. you're glad to find it unlocked, but you still knock a few times before sticking your head inside.

"sweetheart? can i come in?"

ollie is sitting on a massaging table, elbows on top of his legs and head resting in his hands. his eyes are stuck on the floor, but you take his silence as a yes.

"i got your text," you say, tiptoeing inside and shutting the door behind you, careful to not make any loud sounds to scare him. "how are you doing?"

when he still doesn't answer, your heat rate picks up. is something really wrong?

you make your way over to him, hands finding his cheeks and softly tilting him up to look at you – and you swear you've never seen him look this wrecked before.

not after his worst crashes, not when he lost the rookie championship last year. once again, you've entered completely new territory, and your heart breaks at the sight of him.

"ollie, talk to me," you plead, biting back the pout that starts to form on your lips. it's so painful to look into his eyes, but you can't back down. not now, not when he needs you this much.

"i'm-" his voice cracks but he shakes his head, clearing his throat. "i'm so nervous, i don't know what to do."

it's like he's oozing anxiety, and his heavy sigh is like a stab in your chest. ollie, your usually so calm and collected boyfriend, is probably going crazy over this – you know him well enough by now to understand that he's definitely freaking out even more on the inside than what he shows or tells. "i get that. one hundred percent. but," your thumbs begin to stroke over the skin of his cheeks, along his jaw, and then finally across his eyebrows, to which his eyes flutter closed. "this is your dream. it's been your dream since forever, and now you finally have the chance."

ollie sighs, but nods. you're getting to him.

"and it's not just any car, it's a ferrari. do you realize how cool that is? do you realize how many people would kill for an opportunity like this?" you smile at the sight of him with his eyes still shut, eyelashes resting atop his cheeks, messy fringe covering his forehead. even like this, at his most stressed state, he's completely gorgeous. "you would've killed for an opportunity like this just 24 hours ago."

"but what if i ruin it?" his voice is barely above a whisper when he speaks, shoulders slumping forward. "what if i go out there and i'm shit, and then they realize what a big mistake they've done by even putting me in the academy? what if-"

"it won't happen." his eyelids slowly open and he looks up at you, seemingly not even the slightest upset that you cut him off. "you're too good to do that. you'll get in that car and it will feel like your second home, just like it always does."

finally, a small smile makes its way onto his lips. it's only been a few minutes since you came in, but he seems much more relaxed now, leaning into your touch completely. "i'll try my best to make you proud."

you pout. "i'll be proud even if you end up with a slower lap than your pole lap from yesterday."

a laugh bubbles from his chest and he stands up from the table, opening his arms wide and pulling you in for a tight hug. his heart is still beating louder than a drum in his chest when your ear is pressed up against it, and you're almost worried it will jump out any second. but his breaths are much more controlled now, and his mind seems much lighter.

he presses a long kiss to the crown of your head, arms squeezing you tight. "i really need to go, because the sprint starts in..." you shoot a quick glance to the clock on the wall. "forty-five minutes. my team is going to kill me. but go out there and show them, baby."

and that's exactly what he did.

though, that's not the only thing you were correct about; your team was indeed furious when you finally made it back to the campos garage. your main engineer, who was supposed to help you get strapped in and fix all of the last details with the car over fifteen minutes ago, was apparently so angry he left you to do everything yourself. it's not that you didn't know about your schedule; you just needed to be there for ollie before his big debut.

everything works out in the end, at least according to you, and you're soon settled in your car on the grid, waiting to go on your formation lap. however, you've barely gotten as much as a glance from anyone on your team. you can't help but press the button to activate your radio. "i'm really sorry, guys. i just... had to do something."

"hope it was worth it." the voice of one of your engineers booms through your earpieces instantly, the sternness in his tone sending a shiver down your spine. "we got a huge fine because you were so late to get into the car, so..."

another of your engineers speaks up. "let's focus on the race instead now. no need to fight."

maybe it was because you got to visit ollie right before the race, or maybe it was just starting third and having a good car. either way, the sprint race was one of your best races in a long time. not only did you pass richard verschoor starting one place ahead of you into turn one; you also overtook paul, who started from pole, before the end of the first lap and got to lead your first laps in formula two ever.

dennis came around to steal the lead from you, but just landing yourself a spot on the podium was enough for you to celebrate. when you scored a second-place finish where the guy in first place was one of your former academy members, it didn't really matter that the guy on the third step of the podium was your ex-boyfriend.

going through all media duties is always exhausting, but it's usually never as dreadful as it is today. sitting in that press conference, knowing that your boyfriend is starting his first ever formula one qualifying in just a few moments. you have to literally bite your tongue not to pull a valtteri bottas and ask the journalists how q1 is going.

when you're this busy, you don't really have any time to think about paul's rumors. though, something about it continues to loom in the back of your mind all evening. especially when he speaks in the press conference, despite how hard you try to not even look at him, and especially when he's asked about ollie.

as the press conference finally comes to an end, you're not the only one who wants to hurry out of there to watch the rest of the qualifying session. you and the rest of the podium trio find a big screen that's showcasing the session, and you all insist that you should stay and watch, despite the f2 staff members' continuous attempts to squeeze the last drops of content from you.

they keep stuffing their phones and cameras in your face, throwing all kinds of questions about ollie your way, but you refuse to budge. you won't let them ruin this moment for you.

you're sure they've gotten quite a lot of embarrassing pictures of you teary-eyed while admiring your boyfriend's results, though.

you follow the timing board like a hawk, but something breaks you out of your trance. "who are you watching?" your head snaps to the direction of the voice – the f2 instagram admin with her phone pointed to paul.

as if you all haven't been watching and chatting about ollie for the last ten minutes.

you try not to, you really do, but you can't help but roll your eyes at the sight of paul. he's trying to look all innocent, hugging his trophy to his chest as his big, blue eyes blink up at the screen in the distance. a year ago, you would've just thought he was adorable – but today, this frustrates you more than anything. "i'm watching my dear friend ollie," he starts, eyes finding the camera so easily.

dear friend, huh? a dear friend is someone you spread rumors about?

the next time he speaks up, you have to physically bite your tongue to not yell at him. "the guy who gave me one position on tomorrow's grid."

you turn your head away in pure disgust. how could he say something like that? is that the only thing he cares about, places in his starting grid for tomorrow's feature race? is he serious?

you want to escape, to just storm off and never speak to him again. but instead, you force yourself to take a deep breath and focus back on the thing you're here for. ollie is doing so well; when q2 ends and he has driven his last lap, he misses out on q3 by just over a hundredth of a second. he almost even manages to knock out the legendary lewis hamilton, his fellow countryman whom he's been following for as long as he can remember, in his first-ever qualifying session.

you've never been prouder.

"honestly, as long as i can just bring the car home without wrecking it completely, i'm satisfied."

you give ollie's hand a soft squeeze at his words, fingers intertwining as your hands rest on top of the hotel cafeteria table. your other hand lifts your sandwich to your mouth and you take a bite, chewing it down quickly before giving him a nod.

you know his statement is meant as a joke, but you know it's just as much of a truth as a lie. driving an actual ferrari f1 car is his biggest dream, and even just making an alright race probably is enough to make him happy. there's no pressure on him, no one is expecting him to perform a miracle or even score some points.

but at the same time, you know he would never be satisfied with himself if he "just" brought it home safely. ollie isn't like that; he's way too stubborn, too determined, too much of a sore loser. it's what makes him. no matter what he says, there's always going to be something inside of him telling him that he needs to do better.

"i think you'll score your first points today," you tell him with a shrug. "i can feel it."

"don't say that, we don't know anything yet."

a shake of your head in combination with that smile of yours is enough to make some hope spark in him. "well, you have the car for it," you start. "and you have the skills."

ollie stays silent, letting the distant chatter of the other hotel guests having their breakfast fill the air. the cafeteria is emptying out by now, but new faces have been dropping in for a long time now, most of them walking by to give ollie a pat on his shoulder or a quick "good luck, mate".

you put down the last of your sandwich, leaving it behind with the fruit rinds and other scraps on your plate. "but don't think too much," you hum, eyes softening as they land on his. he's trying to contain his worries and anxiety as much as he can, but the slight tilt of his eyebrows and the way his gaze tends to dart away every once in a while tells a different story. "it's just driving. it's just what you always do, no problem."

you hold your glass of orange juice up to him and he gets the hint, clinging his own glass to yours before downing the last of its contents.

you're just about to speak up again with new words of affection, but an icy feeling spreads through your body at the sight of paul entering the cafeteria. the feeling soon turns into real nausea, and you can't even remember what you were supposed to say when you realize that he's making his way towards the two of you.

you want nothing more than to stay and keep encouraging ollie, but you can't take it at this moment. you stand up from your seat, giving ollie's fingers one last squeeze. "i forgot that i have a meeting soon," you make up. "so i need to go. i'll come see you before the race, okay?"

he doesn't even get to say bye before you've stormed off.

unfortunately, you have to pass paul in order to make it to the exit, but you make no effort to even recognize that he exists. you keep your gaze straight ahead.

karl, paul's physio, does a quick greeting from you though – as well as a confused look at the candle pressed into a pastry in one of the hotel's yogurt bowls – but then, you're off to hide in your hotel room until you're needed at the track for race preparations.

of course paul had to come by and ruin everything yet again.

with a good race from yesterday in the bag, you thought you could keep the momentum into today. however, that didn't turn out to be the case.

when a trident driver hit you from behind in the first lap, you lost a few positions instantly and after that, it was a bit too tough to recover. you had opportunities for overtakes, and the car was good enough to go through with them, but you never could. you kept slipping up, making rookie mistakes, and falling back even further. it even got to the point where your team came on the radio to remind you to focus on the road.

but no matter how hard you tried, it wouldn't work. the entire race, something else clouded your mind.

or, more specifically, someone.

every time you even caught a glimpse of paul's silver car, it was like something in your mind short-circuited. the memory of your conversation with pepe, the thought about paul running around and spreading rumors about you in the paddock… you couldn't push the thoughts, or the anger, away.

other times, back in the day, you were always good at turning your anger into something positive for your races. if you were upset with your father for something he said about red bull or the junior program, you went out there and proved him wrong. if you heard that another driver had complained about how you just got your seat because you were a girl, you made sure to dominate the race.

your stubbornness was always your biggest strength. but today, it was like your tank had run out. as much as you wanted to completely crush paul, you didn't have the capability.

at least paul didn't have that good of a race, either.

the second you get out of your car, you storm off towards your garage. you know you'll probably get a lot of shit for your performance your entire debrief, but if you can at least get over with it sooner, then you can forget about it and refocus on the next race weekend. plus, you really want to catch ollie before he's away for his f1 debut.

thankfully, you're not the only one getting criticized during the debrief; the team is not very happy with pepe's start, nor his DNF. after they've gone on and on about how costly this weekend has been for the team for an hour, you're finally released, but not without one last reminder to "think about what you're doing here and whose time you're wasting".

it's natural to lose all energy and confidence after a race like this. but the second you're back in ollie's arms, it's like the world around you just disappears. he's always been the best at keeping you grounded.

you've probably never hugged him this tightly before, but you can't help it. the second your arms wrap around his neck, you pour everything you have into the embrace.

he looks so good, so handsome and professional dressed up in his ferrari race suit. not just his prema suit with the ferrari logo on it, but an actual ferrari outfit. he looks like a real f1 driver – and the realization that he indeed is a formula one driver now brings tears to your eyes.

"hey," he says around a chuckle. "don't cry on me, woman."

"i won't..." you reach up to wipe away a drop from the corner of your eye as you pull away slightly from his embrace, shaking your head. "i won't. i'm just so proud of you."

"why are you so sappy?" the scene in front of him brings a huge grin to ollie's lips – he finds you equal parts adorable and hilarious. "i'm just going out there to drive a car. no biggie."

"no biggie," you repeat with a scoff, dabbing your other eye quickly before doing your best to blink down your other tears. earlier today, you were the one saying all of this was no problem. and yet, now he is the one who has to convince you of it. "right. it's just your passion, the thing you love. but i'm still proud."

an engineer catches ollie's attention above your head, sending him a certain look that has your boyfriend nodding before giving you one last squeeze. "i think i should-"

"of course, go," you usher him, retracting from his arms. "i'll be here after, no matter what happens." he nods, and he's about to leave when you speak up one last time. "have fun, okay?"

"always."

who would've imagined that ollie would not only score points in his first ever f1 race, but also win driver of the day, have the most overtakes, and score a seventh place as the second best british driver of the race?

well, you had imagined everything from him coming last to winning the race by horse lengths. and yet, this was all so unexpected. if someone had told you on wednesday that ollie would score six f1 points three days later, you would've laughed in their face. but now, it feels like it's been a long time coming.

you weren't allowed to stay in the ferrari garage for the actual race – it would've been a pr nightmare for everyone involved – so your nerves were all over the place since you weren't able to hear ollie's radio messages, info about the strategies, and so on. at least you get to wait right outside the garage with jamie, chris and his dad david, being the first to congratulate him after such a good debut race.

he looks completely worn out when he finally walks out through the door, but you can almost feel the pride and happiness radiating from him. his sweaty hair rests messily on top of his head, and an ice vest is draped over his body already to cool him down from the insane heat. and, most importantly, the smile on his lips is bigger than it's been all week.

ollie looks like he doesn't ever want to let go of his dad's hug, his face nuzzled in the crook of david's neck for a long time. you can only guess what things the father is whispering in his son's ear, but when the result is ollie pulling him even closer, your heart expands in your chest.

when they part, it's jamie's and chris's times to congratulate the point-scorer, and when he pulls away from his manager's arms, his eyes land on you. you're pulled into his embrace in just a second, a giggle slipping past your lips when he lifts you up into the air and spins you both around. his strong grip around you never eases, not when he sets you down on your feet again and not when he starts speaking.

"i knew it would be hard, but..." he shakes his head, a sweaty fringe brushing against the side of your head. "my entire body is ruined. like, it doesn't hurt because i have so much adrenaline, but i'm going to be in so much pain later. my neck and my shoulders and-"

another one of your waves of laughter cut off his ramblings, and he joins in once he realizes what he's been doing. when you finally pull apart slightly and your hands come up to cup his cheeks, you're just staring into his eyes for what feels like forever.

your boy, the f1 driver.

"this is from your mum," you whisper to him, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "and this is from your sister." a kiss to his other cheek. "and... this is from me."

ollie has to crouch down slightly because even when you get onto your tippy toes, you can't reach all the way up to his forehead. but once you press your lips against his skin, all of the hidden tension in his eyebrows disappears. he's like putty under your touch.

"i'm so proud."

ollie's groans are muffled by the pillow his face is pressed into, head twitching when your thumbs press into some tense areas of his neck. you shush him jokingly, like a mother comforting a crying baby, but your movements never halt.

ever since he got out of that car, he's been complaining about how sore he is. especially his neck and shoulders, and all of the muscles that were most affected by the g forces. you don't blame him, however – he's got a free pass for pretty much everything for the next week, you think – but you decided to be a nice girlfriend and help him out. the strings of whines and swearwords he keeps letting out don't seem to be stopping anytime soon, though.

the lotion on your hands is enough for you to be able to glide your fingers across his upper back, along his shoulder blades, all over his freckled skin. as you're straddling his lower back, you can reach pretty much all angles of his upper body, and the knots in his muscles seem to be disappearing despite how painful your massage seems to be.

eventually, ollie tilts his head to the side, his blushed cheeks decorated with lines from the pillow underneath him. his slight pout is on full display and his tired eyes flutter closed as he speaks. "hey, y/n?"

"yes, ollie?" you reply, your thumb pressing into one especially stubborn knot in his right shoulder. ollie stays quiet for a few moments and takes a deep breath, almost as if he's gathering courage for something.

"you know that i love you right?"

the world around you stops.

everything freezes.

he loves me?

your breath hitches in your throat at the words. it's the first time he's ever said them, and though it's not the most uncommon thing for someone to tell their girlfriend of over six months, they make your head spin.

a mishmash of thoughts clouds your mind. they won't shut up for even a second. but the loudest thought is the only one you shouldn't have; it's about the only person you can't be thinking about right now.

the way that your mind instantly wanders off to paul is frankly embarrassing, but you can't help it. he's the first boy you've ever loved, the first person you've ever uttered those three words to. the only one. and no matter how badly you wish you could just forget about that and move on, he's still a part of you. he's your only real experience of love.

and this just isn't the same.

you want to say it back to ollie, you truly do. but at the same time, you don't want to say it if it isn't true – it's not fair to him.

ollie senses that something is up. your signs aren't exactly subtle, anyway; your movements have stopped completely and he can't even hear you breathing anymore. "hey, i'm sorry-"

"don't apologize," you interject instantly, shaking your head as you start to climb off his body. "you did nothing wrong. i'm the one who's sorry."

"stop that, you shouldn't be." he turns around, staring up at you with those big, brown eyes of his. "i don't expect you to say it back if you don't want to. i just..." he lets out a low sigh. "i wanted you to know, i guess."

you sit still for a few moments, before leaning down to place a kiss on his rosy cheek. "thank you." another pause. "it means a lot, you know?"

"well, you mean a lot to me."

and he does to you, too.

but is that enough?

ollie loves me.

he actually loves me.

he told me today after the race, and... i didn't say anything. i just sat there like a complete moron.

i couldn't say it back. i just don't feel what i felt for paul yet.

what's wrong with me?

why don't i race like i used to? why can't i control my emotions? was the sprint race yesterday just luck? did i really deserve that podium?

why does paul still affect me this much? why is he always there in my thoughts – when i'm racing, when i'm with ollie, when i try to sleep...

i have a perfect boyfriend and a great car, so why do i feel like everything is falling apart?

yourusername just posted!

yourusername p2 in the sprint 🥈 big thanks to the team for the hard work!! and i got to witness the rb p1-2 up close, congrats redbullracing 💙 also check slide 4 for an appearance from me and my former family on f1tv <3

show all 96 comments

user y/n and the prema staff during the driver's parade 😭 they're so cute

→ user her referring to them as her family, byeeee

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user why is no one talking about the last slide???

→ user because i can't talk while i'm crying, sorry

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user great job this weekend y/n !!! thank you for signing my cap 🥺

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user loved to see her celebrate the red bull double podium even after a hard feature race ❤️

→ user she had to balance out the post with that max and checo pic 😭 would've been just ollie & prema otherwise

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

user ollie looks like a baby in the second pic 🥲

→ user just a little boy playing with his toy cars

→ yourusername i had to hold his little teddy bear during the race to make sure it wouldn't get dirty

→ user stopppp you're so real for sharing that

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abooklover · 5 months

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Rewatching the first two episodes of the Percy Jackson series for like the fifth time like any sane person and just wanted to make a comprehensive (and I mean comprehensive so bear with me here) list of all my thoughts, however unhinged they may be so here goes.

EPISODE 1

Walker’s monologue at the beginning gives such great background and I’m not gonna lie it destroyed me hearing ‘look I didn’t want to be a half-blood’ as the first words. Not to mention the fact that half of that monologue is pretty much word for word from the book which is something I die over whenever it happens

Blackjack looking out for Percy - we love a bit of foreshadowing

The light that comes into the picture when he says things changed when he met Grover. This is literally everything to me, I am so glad even just in the first two episodes they’re showing how strong of a bond they have. Also let’s not forget that they have Mythomagic cards

Sally Jackson (my goddess) imparting words of fucking wisdom - ‘not everyone who looks like a hero is a hero and not everyone who looks like a monster is a monster’

Also her explaining to Percy the story of Perseus (his name sake) - like I am sorry but the centring of the mother/son relationship which only amplifies once Percy loses her is something I don’t know how to explain how much I love (like her even prays to her over his father who is a literal god but we’ll get to that later). ‘hold fast Perseus, brave the storm that was made to break us for we are unbreakable as long as we have each other’ 😭

‘hang on to that, it is a mighty instrument’ - oh yeah it is

Grover spouting scientific facts about bullying - ‘childhood trauma, feelings of inadequacy’ - like he’s written a research paper on it 🤣

Percy and Grover swapping things on their sandwich like they’re siblings

‘I was thinking more like shoving Nancy in the nearest dumpster’ and there mischievous smile afterwards - oh I love you Percy

Grover saying ‘If there’s one thing I know about bullies, you should never stand up to them’ and Percy saying ‘that doesn’t sound right’

I was a little underwhelmed with the whole Mrs Dodds encounter. I don’t know I think I just expected something longer and with the whole drama of Mr Brunner throwing Percy the pen but I think maybe in hindsight it makes more sense cause it’s easier to convince Percy that it didn’t happen

Gotta say that the first time I watched the scene in the principals office I did not even realise Rick was in it but now I can’t not see him

Grover ‘betraying’ Percy was heartbreaking cause you know Grover doesn’t want to do it but knows that he has to and you know that Percy feels like he has lost the only friend he had

Actually really glad that Eddie is a nice sympathetic guy not one of Gabe’s poker buddies

Still disappointed by Gabe - I still think he needed to be a bit more grimy and disgusting (and the way he talks in the scene was just not right for me, don’t know whether it was the acting or the script but it was a no from me). Though Percy’s ‘Losing at imaginary poker’ line was funny

Logical and Sally Jackson. That is all. Just know that I actively sob every time I watch this. Also her sitting in the rain so contentedly will never not hit me, on a personal level knowing how certain things can just provide peace and an escape from life otherwise but also more contextually with her and Poseidon (bottom line: water is the ultimate comfort)

Of course Sally believes Percy and brings him blue candy. Keeping the most important themes of the book. The mother-son bond (which I will to more later) and the blue

I always thought Brunner was pronounced runner but with a b in front of it

D’Angelo’s - yes I will take any peace of nico that I am given (fingers crossed for the lotus casino scenes)

My kin sally Jackson crying in a car while watching her son sleep knowing what lies ahead, nope sorry but I’m not okay and neither is she

‘You fell in love with god, like-like Jesus?’ - oh Percy my love. If nothing else this is who Percy Jackson is.

Percy fully believing that something is wrong with him because that’s what he’s always been told

‘What is he doing here, I don’t want to see him’. Grover and his impeccable timing and panic. Don’t get me started on why I think the ‘You didn’t tell him about me?’, ‘You’re early’ exchange between Grover and Sally is the funniest thing to me.

‘Why is there half a goat in your pants?’ and ‘Why is it wearing underpants?’ - Percy asking the important questions here

I honestly don’t know how they didn’t figure out Percy was Poseidon’s son after the whole Nancy no of it and then Clarissa like it was quite obvious

‘I’m actually 24’ oh Grover we know you bleat when you’re anxious

Sally’s goodbye to Percy - I am a sucker for sadness

I do agree that riptide should be bigger but the only thing I can think is that maybe it’ll grow with him

EPISODE 2

‘You drool when you sleep’ the iconic line. It kinda disappointed me not going to lie.

PETER JOHNSON-pretending to be Percy’s father-PETER-using Percy to break the rules Dionysus introduction and pipeline (oh he is horribly perfect)

‘Yeah but did you’ persassy is in the house and I hope he never leaves (one of my favourite lines and the way walker delivers it is perfection)

Camp looks incredible. I know people have issues with the grandeur of it all but that’s the way things work in the film industry and I personal adore it

And can we talk about Chiron’s injured back leg. Like am I forgetting something (probably) but I don’t remembered him being injured

For those who don’t know, finding out that like is the bad guy is probably gonna destroy them. Charlie bushnell really was like I’m gonna make everyone love me only for them to be crushed (and even though I know I am still gonna hurt - yes I have a soft spot for Luke)

I was so confused when Grover went into the woods and saw the council (it was the only part that I was like what in the world is this, this wasn’t in the books)

Luke being the one the comfort Percy and show him around - oh a genius choice narrative wise but I do miss my girl Annabeth

Introduction to Clarisse was everything - Dior is my goddess

‘Should I try again’ and the resounding ‘NO!’

‘Is there a Greek God of disappointment. Maybe someone should ask him if he’s missing a kid’ - Percy Percy Percy stop making me love you more than I already do like I don’t think my heart can take it

Then Chris’s lovely little tangent and Luke going man why the fuck are you saying this and reassuring Percy - you go storyline building up the loveable Luke (I’m already hurting)

‘They like the smell of begging’ - top teir line

‘You burn what you’re gonging to miss the most’ flash forward to Percy taking this and burning his blue candy praying, not to his father who is an actual god, but to his mother (I cannot handle this, like this kid knows that his mum is the real goddess)

Walker’s voice breaking on ‘well’ - I am sobbing

And the fact that he says he made actual friends - the narrative damning us to inevitable torture

The resentment in his voice when talking about his father - I am so glad they leaned into this

I kinda loved the bathroom scene. And how we are first introduced to Annabeth in this and how she is her blunt self (still don’t know how they could not have known)

Like calling Annabeth his little sister and saying he will always be on her side (I am hurting even more - we never get to see Luke’s perspective in the books and this, this absolutely ruined me)

Pronunciation of Thalia is still going to take some getting used to

Chiron forever in that suit jacket and fence is just not sitting right with me - doesn’t fit the whole trainer of warrior vibe he should be giving

‘Not you sunshine’ - honestly better than seaweed brain

Percy tripping over the branch and Annabeth just standing there and her facial expression (on Leah you are everything)

‘When it’s time he’s going to be ready. I know it.’ Cut to a montage of Percy doing the most 12 year old things possible, including but not limited to flossing (which I thought was kind of out of place and cringe) and petting a random gecko (which I thought was out of place but one of the most hilarious things ever so I’ll give it a pass) while his helmet and weapons lay discarded

Percy I thought you were meant to be proving yourself to your dad to get his attention or something, telling people where the flag is to avoid a fight is not exactly how to do that

Honestly any time Dior is on my screen is a good time - her manic laugh and anguished scream Dior is the moment

Annabeth’s bluntness will always be everything to me - ‘listen, Percy, I’m sorry’ and Percy’s ‘what is wrong with you’ (top five moments of the show)

The reveal - Percy Jackson son of Poseidon

‘I am Sally Jackson’s son’ yeah you tell them Percy (you will always be first and foremost Sally Jackson’s son)

#percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo #pjo tv show #pjo spoilers #luke castellan #annabeth chase #grover underwood

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we-pay-for-everything · 10 months

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Finished rewatching Nancy Drew season 1!

Nancy's a bit harsh with Ryan in the beginning when she learns he's her dad. Firstly, she's Nancy so she doesn't like people trying to get close to her and Ryan isn't giving her any space at all. Secondly, she's ashamed of being related to him. She has no problem being Lucy's daughter, because she's the sad girl who was bullied to her death, but Ryan? Yikes, obviously. Ryan's obviously delusional thinking a daughter would've saved his life and made him a better person, or someone who can stand up to his daddy. He wouldn't have been happy to learn Lucy's was pregnant and who knows what he would've done? Run away? To his credit, Nancy is the reason he becomes a better person later. But he also doesn't know being a father means you shouldn't be petty with your daughter, which he is after he saves her from Everett at his cabin (he's like "oh you can't be my daughter...unless you need my help").

George is a mixed bag for me. She irritates me very often but I also have a lot of affection for her. Her confrontation with Ryan wasn't great though. The writing just didn't feel natural. I think she literally quotes Kelly Clarkson's "Because of You" lyrics at one point or two. She told Nick that Ryan taught her she was the girl you hid not the one you took to dinner? Is this the 50s. I get the idea of George realizing she was taken advantage of and confronting her abuser but the dialogue was not great (and a bit ironic given Nancy's affairs with older detectives...). I get George's reservations with Nick. I'm scared of intimacy as well. But I feel a bit for Nick. I think him and George made a good team, but Nick kind of needs someone more in tune with their emotions? He wants the kind of closeness that he didn't feel he had with either Nancy or George. I don't love his new partner though. So far we know nothing of interest about them - according to Bess, they're "exquisite" and have this awkward/cool vibe going for them, and look like someone who is famous on IG, which is not a vibe I care about, but nothing substancial yet.

Ace and Nancy get a lot of scenes together, alone (eg. when they visit Owen's apartment or Lucy's mom). Because George and Nick end up pairing up, Ace and Nancy naturally spend more time together, I think. And I think she likes that he rarely tries to stop her from doing anything, and he doesn't ask a lot of questions or tries to get close to her. He just helps her while giving her a lot of space, which is how Nancy naturally begins to rely on him and open up to him. For example, he tells her that life's been kicking her butt lately and that he's there if she needs help, but he doesn't ask if she's okay or if she wants to talk about it - which is why she's so grateful for his words. Compared to Nick, she's more comfortable that way. Owen also tried to help her too much sometimes, but he was more detached than Nick. I think Ace is kinda perfect for Nancy because he's useful to her. She gets very into her cases and the only way not to lose touch with her is to tag along and help her. If you hold her back, she'll push you away. But Ace is super helpful because he's a computer genius and he's used to her work methods. I think George, and to a lesser extent Bess, are like Ace in that way. I noticed Nancy's gotten pretty close to George.

Ace is unusually angry with her about their Aglaeca curse. They agreed to do the ritual with Nancy. She tried to talk them out of it. Their anger is natural but she's not to blame. If she was reckless, so were they.

Did Nancy really care that much about Owen and/or was his death particularly traumatizing because everything was going wrong that week and he died because of her?

Also, I feel for Bess. She wants so much to be a Marvin and her aunt is an intimidating and dangerous woman that she knows she can't cross, so she ends up putting her relationship with Lisbeth on the line while also losing herself in the process. At the same time, I want to tell her to grow a backbone and not pander to a bunch of assholes.

#nancy drew #ace nancy drew #nancy drew cw #cw nancy drew #george fan #nace #ace x nancy #ned nickerson #bess marvin #ryan hudson #owen marvin

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wander-wren · 1 year

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i’m on my third rewatch of tristamp and HUNGRY! (ep4) as an episode is so so special to me. i love it so much.

first of all if you know me in any capacity you’ll understand that i am so. ack. about the inclusion of vash’s food issues as a part of the episode’s arc and not just a one-off line. we see it again in ep8. both times he refuses to eat after a disaster that nai caused (but he blames himself for). but! in episode 8 he only eats again after saving lives/proving himself useful, whereas in episode 4 he eats because wolfwood said he deserves to. indirectly. he doesn’t save anyone. he tries! he’s doing his best! but in the end it’s wolfwood who does all the work. and vash still eats. ack

but yeah i fully believe that comment to zazie, “no matter how heavy the cross is you carry, you deserve to eat. and to laugh!” is why vash later said wolfwood has “the eyes of a good guy.”

(and hey, i do think there’s some significance to him defending wolfwood specifically in the context of wolfwood offering vash food and roberto accusing him of poisoning it. just saying.)

first, the way wolfwood phrases that (especially since right before, he said to zazie “i’m like you”) makes it seem like he knows what it is to carry a (metaphorical) cross, and to feel like you don’t deserve things. so vash feels a kinship with him and admires that he’s apparently overcome that and is trying to help zazie do the same.

(now, we find out later that wolfwood already knows zazie, but i’m working with the assumption that he didn’t realize it was her yet. correct me if im wrong on that. if i am wrong i’ll be sad bc i’ll have to reevaluate a lot :(()

second, it definitely matches up with things rem and luida said about food, which boils down to “whether you choose to eat it or not it still matters that you get it, that you have that choice.” which, uh. we’re gonna unpack my own feelings on that at a later time, possibly never. but that definitely would help vash to see wolfwood as trustworthy/good.

to be clear, vash isn’t naive. from their limited interactions he can see wolfwood has some darkness to him, and he can see that he’s used to being disliked, distrusted. he doesn’t bat an eye at meryl and roberto questioning him, but he does react to vash calling him good. vash has had 150+ years to get good at reading people. wolfwood even calls him out about turning his back multiple times, calling him stupid, but rhen he proves vash right by not hurting him.

of course, there’s another layer to the whole eating thing, which is that vash might not need to eat? it’s implied that he likes food/eating in flashbacks, and we learn later that he isn’t a defective plant, he can generate things (in a way), so it would follow that he doesn’t need food??

which might seem, initially, like it lessens the impact of his disordered eating. but it doesn’t. first of all, it’s still a thing vash takes pleasure in, which he has very little of, so denying himself food as punishment is still Very Bad. but also…it’s kind of the only effective form of self-harm he has. he heals quickly and has an insane pain tolerance, and he has literally nothing to lose because he doesn’t have anything/anyone to start with. maybe he won’t starve, but that’s not the point.

#trigun stampede #trigun stampede spoilers #tristamp #vash the stampede #tw ed descussion #wren wrambles #yall dont even know how much it fuckin meant to me when they had vash eat at the end of the episode #and it wasnt a big deal but Attention Was Called #its a thing!! it’s important!! fuck!!#vash and i have very different issues but shit dude #and then in episode 8…..yeah it just i have Feelings #HUNGRY! is my favorite episode for reasons other than this #namely we meet wolfwood and zazie #who i love dearly #and we spend most of the episode IN A GIANT SAND WORM which is so fun and cool #but yeah this is also a big reason #also i think the title is silly

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akkivee · 2 years

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i made a cross a line live blog post where i rewatched the live and made a bullet point each time i was dYInG needless to say if i posted that it would probably be almost as long as the classically infamous ‘do you love the colours of the sky’ post lol so i limited myself to ONE (☝️) point about each section:

NAME A MORE HYPE MOMENT WHEN THE CAMERA PANS TO THE CAST AND THE MAD SCRAMBLE TO FIND YOUR FAV AND WHAT THEYRE WEARING WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY FREAKING OUT ABOUT EVERYONE THE BAT SEIYUU ONCE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU TAKEUCHI-SAN FOR JOINING IN THE BAT HAIR DYEING TRADITION AND THANK YOU HAYAMA-SAN AND SAKAKIHARA-SAN FOR SLAYING AS ALWAYS

cross a line was really cute 🥺 i appreciate asanuma-san for pointing at iwasaki-san when he got to ‘dialogue’ in his verse and also facing his team during their verses 🥺🥺🥺

LITERALLY HOW DID BB HIT THEIR STRIDE WITH IWBP FROM THE FIRST PERFORMANCE THE HYPEST SHIT BRO IMAGINE THEIR ENERGY IN FRONT OF ACTUAL PEOPLE

BAT COULD LITERALLY MURDER ME IN COLD BLOOD AND I WOULD OFFER TO COME BACK TO LIVE JUST SO THEY CAN DESTROY ME AGAIN AND I WOULD THANK THEM THE ENTIRE TIME WHEN SAKAKIHARA SAN SLID HIS HAND UP HIS LEG AND LIFTED IT I DEADASS YEETED MYSELF FROM WHERE I WAS SITTING TO THE FLOOR AND SCREAMED TAKEUCHI SANS ENERGY WAS UNMATCHED AND THAT IM THE GAME RULER IS EVERYTHING I WANTED AND MORE HAYAMA SAN POPPING HIS JACKET OPEN AND SHOWING OFF SOME SKIN DURING THE CLIMAX LINE AND THE WAY HE WHISPER SANG HIS LOSE YOURSELF IN THE BEAT VERSE THANK YOU SIR AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASJFGJFDHJDSFHJKLJHGS

FCKING SCARFACE LIKE BRUH if asanuma-san wasn’t trending like he always does whenever we lives happen i will be shocked lol

fp being the champions sure has done a number on the order of things i can’t believe mtr is after mtc lmao but they’re so cute i was literally in tears help and hayami-san was absolutely rocking his heels btw!!!!!

IWSK STARTED HIS VOICE MORE POWERFUL THAN THE STUDIO VERSION AND SET THAT MAGIC FROM THE START ENISHI IS SO GOOD GO TF OFF KURODA SAN!!!!!!!! ALSO!!!!!!! kawanishi-san’s hair and outfit looked so nice!!!!!!!!!! so good!!!!!!!!!!!! marvellous!!!!!!!!!!!! fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHIRAIMU PYONPYON HOP 😭😭 SHIRAIMU AND SOUMA-SAN BOUNCING TOGETHER 😭😭😭 SOUMA-SANS RAMUDA IMPERSONATION IN SONG 😭😭😭😭😭😭 TORIMA IS SO GOOD LIVE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

you can tell the fp seiyuu have a great deal of respect for kreva but the way it was super obvious on nozu 🥺 the fp/kreva was fun and entirely worth the watch with shiraimu SOMEHOW managing to rope kreva and sascha-san into world cup talk during a hypmic live alone LMAO

fp mentioning they were nervous to perform kizuato and the sigh of relief shiraimu did at the end 🥺🥺🥺 also lol at the cg confetti!!!!!!!

UNITED EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS NOT FCKING READY FOR NB RAPPING TO EACH OTHER STANDING BACK TO BACK DID YALL SEE MCD TOO MY ENTIRE LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!!!!!!!!!

idk if you could tell lol but i can spend a segment’s worth of time talking about lives so a look back on the lives was very appreciated lol and all of their choices were absolute 😘🤌 shout out to kaigen 7th live day 2, death respect, iwgp, black journey 7th live day 2 and bat’s debut in the 4th live (FOR WHICH THEY HAVE NOTHING TO BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT I LITERALLY JUST POP IN THAT DVD JUST TO WATCH IT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE)

if the all cast talk was chaotic then the individual groups were even more so lol and it sounds like to me kuroda-san is making a family and i don’t necessarily mean that in the wholesome way LMAO

THOSE ANNOUNCEMENTS THO????????????? REMASTERED OG DIVISIONS FIRST SOLOS WITH BRAND NEW NAGOSAKA SOLOS?????? NEW NAGOSAKA GROUP SONGS??????? THIS MIGHT BE PLOT STUFF STARTING BACK UP BUT NAGOSAKA ARE ALLOWED TO CATCH UP???????????????????????????????????? AND THE 8TH LIVE??????????????????????????? INDIVIDUAL TEAM LIVES ARE A BRILLIANT IDEA IMAGINE THE ENTIRE BAT DISCOGRAPHY PLAYED LIVE FOR TWO WHOLE HOURS WHAT A DREAM COME TRUE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

having hoodstar➕ and summit ending the live shows exactly what kind of vibe this live had it was so hype and chill at the same time 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i still can’t tell if kimura touched hayama-san’s back as he was passing him by after the leaders talk but if he did and then a little while after we got asanuma-san lightly slapping iwasaki-san’s ass during summit, i can’t believe i just witnessed nb/mcd ‘dynamic differences’ irl LOL

SERIOUSLY THO CROSS A LINE LIVE SAIKOU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

#this is vee speaking #*crying* this post is so nerfed lmao #it’s for the best lol but there’s still so much i wanna gush over 😭😭😭😭😭😭#like!!!!!!!! how hayama-san introduced his team as family (🥺🥺🥺) and sakakihara-san cheered and went ‘onii-chan!!!! 🤗🤗🤗’ (🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺)#kijima-san with back to back bangers lol first boldly stating ‘literally how is anyone supposed to beat stella’ LOL #and again seeing himself with black hair since he’s been blond for YEARS and going ‘who the heck is that???’ LMAO #👋 hayama stan here lol did you see him during posse’s drb➕ verse????? the way he was basically 😘✌️ lol #this live hayama-san was both kuukou AND himself it was great 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#i was literally 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 when hayama-san was waving enthusiastically at kuroda-san during his verse in summit PLS HES TOO CUTE #OOOOOOH AND NOBODYKNOWS IS PERFORMING AT BATS 8TH LIVE 14 YRS OLD ME WOULD BE CROWING—#AND!!!!!!!!!!! SINCE CYPRESS UENO IS PERFORMING FOR MTC!!!!!!!!!!#DO YOU THINK 👉👈 WE’LL GET UPTOWN ANTHEM LIVE???????? LIKE???????

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absolutebl · 3 years

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Top 10 Most Romantic BLs for Valentine’s Day

Here are my top 10 picks of the sappiest of the sappy that you can binge right now. I’m choosing ones that will make you smile with low angst, nothing too dark or serious. Pure escapism with very few triggers.

Cherry Magic (Japan - indie subbed) AKA Doutei dato Mahoutsukai ni narerurashii - the sweetest, fluffiest, most charming bit of adorable ever, full of found family and pastry and serious slapstick, the characters are utter spazzes, but so cute about it.

Wish You (Korea - Netflix or Viki, you want the movie version) AKA WISH YOU: Your Melody in My Heart - low stakes high pining romance about a pianist who falls in love with a busker who is on his way to being the next big idol.

Oxygen (Thailand - YouTube) - softest seme in the universe sings his affection to the older boy at the cafe. Let the slow burn courting commence.

Restart After Come Back Home (Japan - indie subbed) - this one is perfect if you just want a beautiful loving movie, and one that is well filmed and complex enough to appeal to those who don’t normally watch BL or romance (if you have a reluctant partner).

Ingredients (Thailand - YouTube) - if all you want is two soft boys being domestic, cooking together, cuddling on the couch, cat sitting, and babysitting - just put this on and be comfy.

HIStory 2: Crossing the Line (Taiwan - Viki) - super low stakes sweetest story of the bad boy who falls hard for the senior on the volleyball team and then works to earn his love. You know it’s Taiwan so the kisses are great but in this case it also ends well.

He’s Coming to Me (Thailand - YouTube) - want your soft sweetness with a dose of paranormal and a little mystery but none of the violence or extreme triggers of MoD or UWMA? Then this is for you.

To My Star (Korea - Viki) - is a touch quirky, but utterly appealing once it hits its stride. It’s the ultimate grumpy/sunshine pairing plus the most appealing light-filled kitchen of our dreams. Famous actor (adorable bundle of neurosis with a sweet glittery bow) take refuge in the house of a reserved chef and is immediately smitten by Mr Tall Dark & Glowering. The chef is also smitten but refuses to admit it to himself or anyone else.

2gether & Still 2gether (Thailand - YouTube) - this show is ABSURD. But if you can suspend your disbelief and get through the first few episodes it is delightful to watch Sarawat pine after Tine and the levels to which Tine will go to remain willfully oblivious.

Dark Blue Kiss (Thailand) - probably has biggest barrier to entry since we start this drama with the couple already together but it is a super romantic portrayal of a long term relationship. It features the perils of staying in the closest, amazingly supportive friends and family, and a morality tale on the importance of good communication. (If you want to spend all day with Pete & Kao start with their 3 Part BL Cut from Kiss Me Again.)

I promise these will leave you smiling. They are hot toddy BLs.

Bonus heritage BL of total and utter cuteness.

Seven Days

If somehow you’ve missed out on Japanese BL Seven Days you are in for such a treat and I envy you getting to watch this for the first time. This is my number one comfort rewatch BL. It’s in two parts:

Seven Days: Monday - Thursday

Seven Days: Friday - Sunday

You can watch it eng subbed on YouTube.

It’s one of the best live action yaoi mangas ever made and that’s because it has a lot of the breezy style of the later Thai BLs, without losing its roots. The leads have excellent on screen chemistry although it’s low heat, there’s more than Cherry Magic.

Popular first year Seiryo has a policy of going out with any girl who asks... for one week. On a lark, third year Yuzuru tests to see if that policy also applies to boys. Seiryo agrees that it does. Along they way they accidentally fall in love.

(source)

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epona610 · 3 years

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A Comparison of OUAT Redemption Stories

So I was DMing with someone about a different show entirely, and I brought up OUAT because I loved/hated this show so much and it’s largely based on redemption stories. I was going to briefly explain why I find Hook’s arc so compelling (though not without its flaws, of course) and Regina’s so lacking, but it turns out that I still cannot write briefly about this subject. So I’m posting this here because this is what my blog was originally about, and I find I still feel very much the same way even after a few years have passed. I want to preface this by saying I haven’t rewatched the show since it went off the air, and I certainly could’ve forgotten some things. And I’m obviously biased in that I loathe the character of Regina so much, although here I’m trying to explain exactly why I can’t stand her.

Hook and Regina were both motivated by revenge for the deaths of their first loves. Rumple murdered his ex-wife and Hook’s current lover/partner/co-captain, Milah, so Hook set out to kill Rumple himself, the Dark One, who is one of (if not the) most powerful beings in their world. Hook caused a lot of harm to innocent people as collateral damage, but eventually he gave up on the idea of revenge and basically peacefully coexisted with the guy who had murdered his first love and chopped off his hand. Regina’s mother was the one to kill her first love, but did she go after her? No, she went after the ten-year-old child (Snow) whom her mother had manipulated into telling about her first love (by playing on Snow’s feelings for her dead mother, whom Regina’s mother had murdered). Regina was going after an innocent person from the beginning because she was afraid of her mother.

Then there’s the scale of the harm done. Regina: literally slaughtered at least two whole villages, sent countless children to be literally eaten by a cannibal, cursed an entire population by permanently altering their minds, has murdered so many people and taken so many hearts she lost track of whose was whose, illegally adopted a child whom she knowingly raised in a town where no one else grew or aged and then gaslit him when he caught on, murdered her father in order to cast the curse. Hook: was a pirate so he has killed people (we learn that his rings come from murder victims, whose names and circumstances he remembers) killed his own father (who had sold him into child slavery) thereby orphaning his little brother, killed David’s father, backhanded Belle across the face once, shot her so she’d cross the town line and lose her memories, sort of turned Baelfire over to Peter Pan (but only after Bae refused to let Hook hide him so I never got why he felt guilty over that honestly). No indiscriminate mass murder that we know of.

And of course there’s the remorse or utter lack thereof. Regina is constantly defending her actions. I’ll use her own words to illustrate. She at one point says to Snow: “To be fair, I was threatening you. Everyone else just became collateral damage.” And then later we get this infuriating exchange:

Regina: Need I remind you I dedicated years to knocking you down? But nothing could stop you.

Snow: You took my kingdom, cast your curse, I lost my daughter for 28 years.

Regina: And then you found her.

Clearly no remorse or recognition for the fact that she stole Emma’s entire childhood from her and her parents. And the classic, said as she was escaping a tree that attacks people’s regret: “I did cast a curse that devastated an entire population. I have tortured and murdered. I’ve done some terrible things. I should be overflowing with regret, but I’m not.”

I feel that I should add that she ends that last statement with “because it got me my son”. And that sounds lovely, but that means that she doesn’t regret the harm she’s done since getting him (continuing to enslave and sexually abuse her victims, murdering Graham, attempting to murder the entire town so Henry would have nobody else to love) or even more notably, the harm she’s done to Henry (raising him in a psychologically unhealthy environment, cursing him in an attempt to curse his mother, gaslighting him, attempting to murder his entire family, altering his memories, etc.) Regina says time and again that she “gave up on revenge” against Snow, but as far as I can tell, she only decided she was satisfied because she’d succeeded in irreparably harming Snow. She took away her chance to raise her daughter, who ended up being raised in an abusive foster system and felt obligated to give up her own child.

And then I compare that to Hook’s apologizing and making things right with people he’s hurt, like Ursula, his younger brother Liam, and David. And then he and Belle become close friends and eventually they have this conversation:

Belle: I’m sorry, I can’t stay here. If Rumple finds you harboring me...

Hook: His wrath will be an added bonus.

Belle: I don’t understand. Why would you risk your life for me?

Hook: Long ago, I... I tried to kill you in the queen’s castle once. I failed. But along the way, I did something I can live with no longer. I laid a hand on you. And there’s the matter of my shooting you at the town line.

Belle: Yeah, well. You’ve changed since all that.

Hook: Maybe. I have a long road to travel before I can be someone I can be proud of. Despite the forgiveness of others, I must forgive myself, and I’m not there yet.

So yeah, that’s a summary of why I find Hook’s redemption arc to be (somewhat) believable and satisfying and Regina’s to be... basically nonexistent. The show tells us she’s a hero and a good person now, but she never apologizes or shows remorse. She makes it abundantly clear that she’s doing good only in the hopes of getting happiness for herself, which she absolutely feels entitled to even though she’s taken it from so many others (the amount of times she complained about not getting what she wants despite occasionally doing the right thing is incredible). She still even has a bunch of hearts whose owners she apparently forgot! There’s no indication that guilt weighs on her at all, or that she even feels any guilt. I can’t buy a “redemption” from someone who never shows remorse or accepts responsibility.

Note: these quotations weren’t taken from memory, nor did I go back and watch the episodes. They came from the OUAT transcripts found here.

#anti regina #anti regina mills #captain hook #redemption narratives #not using the general ouat tag because I don't need a ton of attention on this right now #haha #but yeah if any Regina fan comes across this #and wants to debate in good faith #feel free to send me an ask

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chooseyouovereveryone · 3 years

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10 Years Of Songbird: Brittana Fan Project

Hello my fellow Brittana lovers!

First of all, happy 10 years to the iconic Glee episode that is Rumours and the beautifully moving performance that is Songbird. Such a pivotal part in Brittana's story, and one that will forever be ingrained in my mind. Naya's voice still gives me goosebumps and reduces me to tears on that performance, paired with Heather's genuine tearful reaction.

Second of all, this is up slightly later than planned so apologies for that, but Tumblr glitched on me big time and I had to repost this all again which considering I had a draft built up for days, was rather inconvenient, but we’re here now and hopefully it was worth the wait!

Putting this project together has brought me so much joy in revisiting my favourite ship. I don't think I will ever tire of reading about them, and hearing from others why they love them so much and how this ship resonated with them.

For me, Brittany and Santana were the first positive representation I saw of a WLW relationship. I was shook to the core watching their story unfold, in how much it mirrored what was going on in my own life with my own denial and with my own relationship. I found myself clinging to that storyline like an anchor, as if it was going to give me the answers to my own story. Throughout all the confusion I had in my own coming out and realisation that I was a lesbian, the storyline gave me hope that one day, everything would be okay. Watching them go from confused and conflicted best friends to wives gave me so much hope for the future, and now as a 27 year old out and proud gay woman, I still look at this storyline with the same love-filled eyes.

Even as Glee ended and I stepped away from the fandom, Brittana have always been a huge part of my life, always there in the background, always my comfort storyline to turn to and rewatch a bunch of times. But losing Naya last year really brought me back to the fandom and the community and reminded me why I loved them so much.

I think what I love most of all about this ship is how organic it was. It came from the fans, and from Naya and Heather encouraging the writers to take it seriously. Because of this, I also wanted to add in some little touches of Heya, and include quotes from Naya and Heather talking about their fave scenes.

I'll forever be indebted to this storyline in what felt like a really hard and confusing time in my teenage years.

So thank you Naya

Thank you Heather.

& thank you so much to all of you for taking part.

Also a huge shoutout once again to @hopefulobjectmiracle for letting me use her idea and for providing help along the way. She came up with the concept for this project with Klaine, and I wanted to create a Brittana version, but I'd strongly recommend checking out her Klaine one if you haven't already.

I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I enjoyed putting it together :)

Brittany & Santana Talk To Holly Holliday About Their Feelings- 2x15, “Sexy”

Choosing a favorite scene is hard so I'll choose one of my favorite lines: in the episode Sexy when Santana and Brittany first talk to Holly about their sexuality, Britt says "I don't know how I feel because Santana refuses to talk about it".

I love this line because most people would play it off as Brittany being a simpleton, but that's not the case. Brittany is saying she doesn't know if she's allowed to like Santana as more than her best friend. She doesn't know if it's right. Because if Santana isn't in to girls then Brittany could be crossing a line, a line where she could possibly be making Santana uncomfortable. Brittany obviously knows how she feels about Santana but she wants to make sure Santana feels for her in the same way before admitting to it, as not to ruin what they already have.

-@neversatisfiedwithlife

Landslide- 2x15, “Sexy”

It was incredibly difficult for me to choose my favorite Brittana scene. There are so many that I love and find important to me...some of these moments were even literally life-altering. Before Brittana, for example, I didn't know that girls could be gay, and I had no idea that what I felt for some of my female friends was anything other than platonic. I'm sure I would have realized I was queer eventually, but this ship and the fandom that I found myself in made the process so much easier for me. But I digress :)

I eventually narrowed it down to four choices—Landslide, Songbird, the Heart Locker Scene in New York, and Cherish/Cherish in Heart, and out of these I've decided to single out Landslide as my numero uno, as it was this very scene that started my decade-long love affair with this ship :)

There are so many things that I love about this scene. Earlier in the show we see Brittany attempt to talk about their relationship knowing that they were more than just best-friends-with-benefits, but Santana would instantly close herself off. Still, Brittany pressed on, determined to understand what they had become, while Santana began to realize that what they had—what they could become—was worth letting herself be vulnerable, worth the risk of getting herself hurt. The fact that Landslide was the product of this early struggle gives it so much meaning ;u;

The scene itself has all these details that make my heart ache in the best way possible...the way they look at each other throughout the song, Santana's eyes a myriad of emotions, full of sadness, confusion, conflict, longing, Britt's eyes filled with concern knowing how much it's taking her best friend to be so vulnerable, then the pride that shines through when she looks at Santana after the performance; the way that Santana's voice breaks singing "and I'm getting older, too"; when she stands afterwards and goes over to Brittany, and Britt opens her arms to hold Santana instantly like it's a reflex; the way that they fit against each other so perfectly, like they were made to be in each other's arms...even the visual composition of the scene was perfect ToT That instant of them hugging each other is a study in contrasts with the way Britt's flaxen hair shines against Santana's night-dark head, and with the way Santana's soft white blouse contrasts against Brittany's deep blue denim top ;u; It's gorgeous.

-@randomcanbian

My fav Brittana scene is when they sing landslide together, because it was one of the first times we got to Santana be so vulnerable

-@snowpickles

What is a landslide? Simply put, it’s defined as a collapse of a mass of earth or rock from a mountain or cliff. That’s the perfect way to describe the rocky relationship between Santana and Brittany in S2, and it‘s exactly why their performance of the infamous Fleetwood Mac song of the same name (Sexy; 2x15) is such a pivotal moment in time in for them.

Santana showed a side of herself to her friends, but most importantly to Brittany, that many would deem her incapable of ever doing. For that moment she allowed that brick wall she always had built up around her for protection to come slowly crumbling down. And the best part? She allowed that — wanted that — to happen. She needed to bare her soul to the person she loved most, but she wasn‘t sure how or when, or if she ever could.

Seeing Santana put her heart on her sleeve and confess her feelings of love and admiration for Brittany through song — finally — is one of the highlights of the entire series for me. We see her trap herself within a new world for a few minutes, one that contains only the two of them through her eyes, and let her emotions do the talking. Brittany understood everything without a single word being spoken to her. Santana hadn’t opened up to anyone at this point about how she felt, not even to herself, but so much was understood between them without saying nothing at all. My favorite spoken line is Brittany‘s, „Is that really how you feel?“

As a viewer, it was such an infamous moment because we now get to cheer for them. We see that they are on the same page with one another, that through it all, their attraction and desire for one another never wavered. They wouldn’t be a a couple for quite a bit more time, but they both now understood what we as viewers saw all along. Santana stopped denying her sexuality; she stopped denying what Brittany meant to herself. She still had a lot to sort out and wasn’t ready to free herself from the constraints of her sexuality, but she made the biggest move: allowing Brittany on the other side of that wall with her.

This performance let to the scene we grew to love known as the Hurt Locker, which is the scene that made the Brittana fandom sing praise to the high heavens. Santana felt like she could finally confess her feelings to Brittany. She was terrified, but she somehow found the courage within herself to stop closing the door on opportunities. So, I‘m thankful for Holly Holiday for being the person that Santana and Brittany felt comfortable enough to go to, and I‘m thankful for her willingness to perform with them, because it gave us much more than a song — it gave us hope. It gave us validation. It gave us Brittana.

-@TheWednesdayProject on Reddit

Hurt Locker-2x15, “Sexy”

"A lot of people have said that scene gave them courage to come out to their parents and their friends and their loved ones, so I think that it's something that's very important, and I hope that we handled it responsibly which I think that we did"- Naya (PaleyFest 2012)

Hurt Locker is my fave scene - just Santana finally coming to feel and admit the truth within. I've probably watched it a thousand times and I'll never get sick of it. The expressions and unspoken acting Naya and Heather put into it give me all the feels!

-@chasingseals

Okay so my favorite Brittana scene is probably the scene where Santana express her feelings for Brittany during “sexy” and says she’s afraid to be with Brittany because of the talks and the way people are gonna stare and that she wasn’t even afraid to what people would say to her face but to what people would say behind her back.

And that’s because I feel the same way. I’m not a lesbian, I’m bisexual, but at the moment I have a girlfriend and I am so afraid to come out to even the rest of my family (apart from my parents and sister) because I always hear them talking about these girls with names such as “dyke” or something, and it was good to see on tv someone with the same fears and it is so good to see that they had a happy ending and got married and that all this started when they decided “not to care” about everybody else’s opinions and be themselves and be happy.

-@wankybjtch

It’s so, so strange to do this without Naya, but here we are, and she and Heather made this all so beautiful. When I tried to answer this question about my favorite scene, I went first to Songbird - Naya has one of my favorite voices in this whole world - and then to Landslide, and then to Me Against the Music, and all those answers seemed really good. Brittany and Santana spoke to each other so much through music - voices and words and touch - and Heather and Naya gave themselves to their characters so much - and Naya to song so much, and Heather to dance - that they would disappear into Brittana, and would just seem like they were love, made visible. Brittana is love always seems like such a true thing to say, to me. But while what occurred to me first were three songs, I realized that my favorite scene - the one that hit me the hardest - will probably always be the Hurt Locker.

Naya was just so shining there, Santana so full of love and this terrible ache and this more terrible hope, all for Brittany, that you could see Heather glowing back, though so much more quietly. It was an absolutely tremendous thing to see a full-on love scene playing out in the middle of a crowded hallway. Naya and Heather were so beautiful together, as friends and as actresses and as onscreen lovers, and after seeing that scene for the first time, I cried every day for a week, always at these quiet, unexpected times. The love and the hurt and the fear and the hope were so raw in Santana - both in Naya’s performance and in the beautiful script - that it brought everything back about the confusion of starting out with that Oh, god. I am never, never going to be like everyone else. I love her way, way too much. But somehow, the scene made my whole world feel safer. I could see myself, and others could see me. There we were on the screen, worthy and beautiful. <3 Tess

-@venuscomb

Songbird- 2x19, “Rumours”

"I really enjoyed watching Naya sing Songbird. That's ingrained in my head, that time where I sat in the choir room and listened to her sing Songbird, because her voice is just of another world. It's always been my favorite. I will never forget that."- Heather (Entertainment Weekly 2021)

My favorite moment is Santana singing Songbird to Brittany because that is an all time classic romantic song, and Santana (Naya) sings it beautifully, and Brittany just sits there mesmerized. Plus I love what they are wearing, and how they look. i think it's signifcant that Santana sang her love for her here in the choir room, and it's where they had many of their big moments - first together, the break-up song, the flowers in 5, the proposal.

-@1908jmd

My fav scene is 100% Songbird. It’s always been my favourite song and to see it applied to a wlw relationship changed my life a lot because it made me realise that it could be me one day. Santana was always my favourite character too, so to see someone that i appreciated a lot come to terms with their sexuality made me really happy

-@illegally-luthor

My first fav scene out of two is Songbird of course because seeing Santana pouring her heart out to Britt is just the most beautiful thing ever. She was scared to accept who she really was and when it comes to her love for Brittany she’s not scared anymore because loving her is the easiest thing to do. Plus, seeing how Britt reacted was so beautiful. She knew Santana was scared and she was proud of how she confessed her love, through a song, because she knew Santana wasn’t good with words.

-@chloesnix2b

Heart Locker- 2x22, “New York”

My favorite Brittana scene is after Nationals in 2x22 by the lockers.

What I love most about this scene is Brittanys tell it how it is attitude. When Santana said that it clearly wasn’t about winning for her, Brittany looked right through her bullshit, knowing that Santana was getting defensive, because Santana knew what this year was really about for Brittany (and herself too of course), she just didn’t want to admit to it.

You can clearly see that Santana is still scared and hiding and that she still feels like she’s is going to lose Brittany any moment. But Brittany reassures her, tells her how much she loves Santana and makes her feel safe.

My favorite Brittany is always when she’s finally allowed to have feelings and say something. Often the writers didn’t give her anything to do or just made her a caricature of a person. But when she was allowed to express herself, it was in her truest, most vulnerable form. Due to writing, Brittana often seemed one sided, but it’s moments like these that show us how much Brittany loves Santana and how much she wants only the best for her.

For me, the scene felt like the real beginning. They have been taking baby steps before, treading the water. But now Brittany dove right in and her boldness made Santana follow her :)

"What about you and I?", "I love you Santana, I love you more than I‘ve ever loved anyone else in this world. All I know about you and I is that, because of that, I think anything is possible."

-@bolintheturtleduck

I absolutely love every scene that they’re in together, but my favorite is the one where Brittany and Santana are standing outside of the lockers, talking about the glee club. i feel like it showed a lot about Santana’s character at the time and it really inspired me.

-@hoodiestring

Officially Dating - 3x04, “Pot O' Gold”

Their first official date at Breadstix!

Santana and Brittany sitting in the warm lighting of their favourite restaurant in the almost comfortable awkwardness of their tender baby relationship melted something in my baby lesbian heart.

They're teenaged best friends who fell in love and this scene is just so fluffy and cozy and perfectly reflects their dynamic - they're so obviously head over heels for each other and everything about their relationship feels new and electric and full of possibility, but they've also been love each other forever. Santana's eyes lighting up at Britt holding her hand and Britt being so purely herself and everything about the scene just screams home to me and is the moment the show really became about them to me.

-@grassberry639

One of my favorite scenes is the Breadstix scene with the holding hand under a napkin because I could completely relate to it when I was dating girls that was still not yet 100% ready to come out.

-@charisadrastea

Rumour Has It/Someone Like You- 3x06, “Mash Off”

My other favorite is the Rumour Has It/Someone Like You scene because the performance was so beautiful and haunting.

-@charisadrastea

For me, it was the Adele Mashup (specifically the longing looks exchanged during it). I watched that scene over and over again when I was a kid because I felt like it did a great job of truly encapsulating what it's like to have feelings that you desperately want to pursue but can't do to your surroundings. The whole thing really stuck with me.

Naya's performance felt so genuine and, throughout that entire song, you could really feel what Santana was going through as a closeted lesbian who was terrified of losing everything. And the fact that Brittany was so close during the whole performance and, yet, instead of her singing one of the lead parts with her, they just exchange looks. I just thought it did a great job of expressing a trapped feeling.

-@aaverageperson

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face- 3x10, “Yes/No”

My favourite Brittana scene would be the small flashback when the girls are singing The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.

Santana sees Brittany’s face for the first time and she melts.

Their smiles are so soft and I love the instant connection they both have.

-@mostlygleethoughts

My favourite Brittana moment happens when Santana is singing, The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face. She sings the line, “I felt your heart so close to mine,” while a flashback of her and Brittany in the locker room plays. I get teary-eyed whenever I watch this scene. The love between them is so beautiful, and it’s so refreshing to see genuine sapphic love portrayed on screen.

-@sapphicbrittana

Cherish/Cherish- 3x13, “Heart”

It took me so long to decide on what my favorite Brittana scene is but i ultimately decided on the scene at the end of Heart. It’s just such a sweet moment for them. They are openly going on a date and even kiss in front of other people without caring about what anyone might say. They have come so far from the beginning of their relationship and it is just lovely to see them be so happy with each other.

-@sugarcarnation

Ok so my second favorite scene is in 3x13 when Santana asked the god squad to sing a song for Britt. So the scene at Breadstick at the end and the kiss they shared after Cherish/Cherish is just beautiful. Seeing Santana being so proud to call Brittany her girlfriend and singing her song for her is everything to me. Also Britt’s reaction was too cute. The love in her eyes when Joe told them the god squad was going to perform for her is the cutest thing ever. The kiss they shared at the end of the song was so passionate and it gives me butterflies every time I see the scene. It was also the first Brittana kiss we saw onscreen.

-@chloesnix2b

I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)- 3x17, “Dance With Somebody”

"Watching Heather dance is fun in this number, I never get tired of watching her dance."- Naya (BTS Dance With Somebody)

"They put us in twinzies outfits. We've been singing to each other like crazies"- Heather (BTS Dance With Somebody)

My favourite Brittana scene would have to be dance with somebody (the song). I love how happy they both are and how much fun they’re having together!!! The context is romantic, but they’re also having fun as best friends, which is the root of their relationship. I just think it’s really sweet and I’m a sucker for happy pretty ladies dancing around and making each other ridiculously happy. That’s all!!!

-@kurtanaaa

Tongue Tied- 3x21, “Nationals”

Q: What’s your favourite Brittana moment? A: The slow motion celebration smooch when we won Nationals

-Naya (Twitter Q&A 2012)

Mine- 4x04, “The Break Up”

It might seem strange, to choose a breakup scene for a couple's best. It's a scene that broke thousands of hearts and continues to make us cry, even after having seen the whole journey unfold and even after knowing that Brittana will, in the end, be okay. But to me, it's a scene that encapsulates much of what I love about these two and what they mean to each other. "Sophomore year, I used to sit in this back row and secretly watch you. I counted the number of times you'd smile at me, and I'd die on days that you didn't." Half the reason why I chose this scene is this quote. The sheer power of it still shakes me whenever I hear Santana utter these words. The sincerity behind them makes me stop and truly consider what it is she’s saying. It’s a summary of their journey so far. It’s a moment of incredible vulnerability, the confession of a girl who fell in love with her best friend and was terrified of the consequences of that love. Not as much as she was terrified of what it would mean to not be loved back, though.

But Brittany loves Santana with the same passion, even if it manifests differently. It’s why she holds on as long as she can and why it’s even harder for Santana to face their issues. Because you see, I understand that many dislike the reasoning behind their breakup and that it only happened here because everyone else was doing it. But there’s something so deeply caring about the way they consciously make the decision not to hurt each other by leaving themselves in this in-between state of long-distance relationships. Something so genuine about the way they say they would never cheat on each other but also something so mature in realizing that they can’t be what the other needs right now. That, to me, displays such a pure form of love. As pure as catching glances and counting smiles in the back row. As pure as words of encouragement and saying to someone: I'm yours.

Even though they were already inseparable in sophomore year, Brittany smiling at Santana during Glee practice is an intimate moment that meant everything to her. And even though it hurts, Santana letting go of Brittany before they can even think of hurting each other is such a deep declaration of love. What makes it bittersweet yet hopeful instead of just being heart-shattering is the way Santana turns the otherwise optimistic and romantic song “Mine” into a sad one, creating one of the show’s most gorgeous solo performances in the process. Because when she sings Brittany is the best thing that’s ever been hers, we all know it was true in sophomore year, it is true now and it will be on the day they exchange vows. Because Santana’s right when she sings they’re gonna make it, even if it takes a while. Even if they are (and we are) crying right now, even if it takes a few more days of dying in the absence of Brittany’s smile lighting up her world. Because even when they’re breaking up, Brittana reaffirm that they’ll always love each other the most.

-@tuiyla

Santana Walks Brittany Out Of The Auditorium One Last Time- 4x22, “All Or Nothing”

“I really liked the moment in the last episode, when we knew that Brittany was going away and it was a really sad vibe and Santana showed up and just took her hand and walked her off, I thought that was sweet.”- Naya (Perez Hilton 2013)

Valerie- 5x12, “100”

My favorite scene by a pretty wide margin is “Valerie” from “100”. It’s got that palpable backstage chemistry that Naya and Heather had that shone through so clearly in season 1, it’s poetically choreographed, and the songs even more lyrically significant than before.

I believe that Santana and Brittany are at their best and most smitten when they’re doing what Naya and Heather love the most: singing and dancing, respectively. This is no exception. Just look at Brittany trying not to smile at the beginning. When the shot is on her after Santana starts to sing, you can see her face change from smiles to grimace as if she had forgotten herself. You can’t tell me Heather didn’t break there for a second.

Every little mannerism throughout the whole sequence is laced with that fun, alarmingly pure energy. It could’ve been just excellent acting, but it felt so real. And why wouldn’t it? Naya had to learn Heather’s dance from “Sectionals”. Watching your best friend pull off some of your most iconic moves and then joining in, that’s gotta be fun.

Yeah, Santana’s dancing the choreography from their sectionals with Mike. Within the capacity of an untrained dancer, of course. She’s trying to get Brittany back into the groove by dancing probably the most involved number that the New Directions have ever done. And one that Brittany probably had the most fun with because she choreographed it with Mike. That’s some good writing. And it works, and it’s cute, but once Brittany joins in, the sequence deviates from the original.

We get this just wonderful moment of Brittany dancing solo centerstage fully embracing her passion. After she gets her moment, she and Santana dance either with each other swing-style or towards each other. You can’t forget about that embrace at the end when Santana sort of dips her. They’re not even back together at this point. Santana doesn’t want to get back together at this point. But I feel like I’m watching them dancing at their wedding 3 hours into the reception.

And I mean what an appropriate song to use given the circumstance. “Valerie” is about missing an ex after coming back to your hometown. When we heard Santana solo it at sectionals, it wasn’t super meaningful. It was an excellent way to show off Santana’s vocals and Brittany and Mike’s choreography somewhat independently. But here? Let’s talk about line distribution.

First verse, Santana sings solo. Notably, Brittany is harmonizing behind her piecemeal. By the chorus, she’s joined with Santana fully. Second verse, she’s soloing, joining the dance and by the end they’re dancing together. They’re singing and dancing about missing each other together.

But the song’s not my favorite part. Not even the dance. Not really. My favorite part is the culmination. Santana and Brittany are participating in each other’s disciplines and passions.

That’s an awesome couple right there. They went from singing and dancing somewhat removed from each other to singing and dancing with each other, and even when they were broken up, they still shared their respective passions with each other effortlessly.

-@leatherzaddy on Reddit

My favorite Brittana scene is Valerie S5. It just feels so significant to me that Santana chose this particular song to get Britt out of her funk. Valerie is special to both of them, it’s the first competition solo Santana ever got and it was the first time we ever got to witness the dance skills of one Brittany S. Pierce.

It was the first time Brittany got to show off how talented she was and how she was so much more than the dumb blonde everyone thought she was. Now, however, no one thinks she’s dumb. Now everyone sees her as just another statistic for MIT.

Santana, however, sees right through that and sees her for who she really is - not dumb, not just a genius, but Brittany, the girl who loves to dance. So Santana picks the same song from the first time Brittany got to show off her dancing to prove to her once again that dancing is what she’s meant to do.

-@hopefulobjectmiracle

Churros Kiss- 5x12, “100”

The infamous churros scene lives in my head rent free. Why? Because we saw a level of confidence in Brittany that we had never seen before and, in that moment, we were all rooting for her for giving us what we knew was right and what we knew we needed. The fans knew Brittana was endgame, Brittany knew, and we just sat back and waited for Santana to realize it as well. (Let’s give her credit: she knew.) We had waited 1.5 seasons for more and we finally got it, mouthful of churros and all.

I love this scene because we see Santana and Brittany a bit older and a lot wiser; Brittany knows that after all the time they had spent apart, Santana is the only one she really wants and she felt like she needed to tell her, to show her, before it was too late. I feel like everything Brittany did in this scene was very spontaneous and on a whim, and it makes it that much hotter.

The kiss. It’s my favorite kiss between the couple by a mile. Brittany put her heart on her sleeve and risked everything and just went in for the kill. You can see the twinkle in her eye right before she leaned in and she didn’t hesitate to show Santana what she wanted. I do appreciate Santana’s hesitancy because of their storyline at the time, but I don’t doubt for a second that she didn’t want Brittany back, too. She was just incredibly cautious, and no doubt, caught by surprise. They had been through so much and had finally found a place in their friendship/relationship where scars were healing and hearts weren’t as broken as before.

You can see in the way Santana looks at her after being kissed, the way in which she listens to her, that the wheels in her head are already turning. We know she knows what Brittany is saying is true. She just has to process what this means for her, for them, for her life back in New York. She’s just putting the scattered puzzle pieces back together, but she knows what the picture already looks like.

The kiss on the cheek? The delicious cherry on top. Brittany, having already been pushed away, one again doubled down on how she felt and so quickly, and respectfully, reminded Santana of that. You can see Santana’s breath hitch during this moment when their faces are so close together, and it’s obvious that her love for Brittany never wavered. As she always was, smitten is her middle name.

Brittana’s entire relationship from S1-S6 can be summed up, for me, with one infamous line spoken by Brittany during the churros scene, “You can’t recreate what you and I have.”

-@TheWednesdayProject on Reddit

The Lilies Scene- 5x13, “New Directions”

I will always remember being a curious and scared teenager. I was almost in high school when Brittana became official and it suckerpunched me. The fear, the anxiety, the angst, the love, all of it was so relatable. Brittana had so many trials and tribulations and they always came out better and stronger both as individuals as a couple. My favorite Brittana scene is the lily scene because it was the beginning of them consciously choosing each other. The growth <3

-@yesandmusicals

My favorite Brittana scene is when Brittany fills the room with lilies for Santana. It really proves that the connection between them is incredibly strong and they understand each other better than anyone else. Their chemistry is off the charts and you can really feel their love for each other through the screen. The way Santana sinks into Brittany like she’s coming home and the way Britt runs her fingers up and down Santana’s arm <3 Everything about it is perfect.

-@santinacedes

I think my favorite Brittana scene is the one in 5x13, where Brittany fills the choir room with lilies for Santana, because that was the biggest time when I could truly feel their love for one another and their support of each other.

-@allweseeisskyforever

The Bedroom Scene- 6x03, “Jagged Little Tapestry”

It's hard to pick one favorite scene because I just love them all. But I'm gonna go with the scene that made me the happiest and that's the bedroom scene before the proposal because it's such an intimate moment between the two of them. They talk about their future together, about how happy they are and of course "I will love you until infinity". I've wanted a scene like that since I started shipping them in season 2. And watching that scene for the first time was one of the happiest moments in my life. And when I'm feeling down I just watch this scene again and everything gets better.

-@brittanaaresoulmates13

Santana proposes to Brittany- 6x03, “Jagged Little Tapestry

My fav Brittana scene is the proposal bc it means so much to both of them. It takes place where they fell in love and there’s so many parts in the song that remind me so much of their past

-@arf128

My favourite Brittana scene is probably Santana proposing to Brittany because the number they do before is fire🔥 and BRITTANA GETS ENGAGED!!

-@pennywarbler

Hallway Scene- 6x06, “What The World Needs Now”

I LOVE THE ‘did I ever tell you that I love you’ MOMENT. The little kiss and the way Santana nudges her head in Brittany’s neck. I love the whole episode, it’s so powerful and as a lesbian I really felt seen and represented.

I love that Santana reminds Brittany of heaven. I love that Brittany loves Santana so unconditionally, that she would do anything to see her happy. Brittany knows that Santana is super happy right now, but she also knows that she really misses her abuela and that she’s sad she’s not coming to the wedding. Britt’s really doing her best for Santana, and that really shows how much she loves her.

I love that we see Santana’s vulnerable side in this episode and I love to see Brittany’s protective side (especially during and after Alfie). Although abuela said she wasn’t coming, I love how the episode ended because it really shows how much Santana has grown and how much love she has in her life right now.

-@sapphosongbird

Brittany Confronts Santana’s Abuela- 6x06, “What The World Needs Now”

After Santana sings “Alfie” to Abuela López as if her life depended on it in hopes that her Abuela would be a part of her life again, we have my favorite Brittana moment. At first, Abuela is confused and shocked to find out that she’s been tricked into seeing Santana sing. Brittany quickly confessed that she did trick her and informed Abuela, but also informed Abuela not only that she is Santana’s fiancée but that she loves her so much that she would do anything for her. Santana is quick to look at Abuela to gauge her reaction. Santana is hoping she has an opportunity to explain and to try to make her see how much she loves and needs Abuela in her life. Santana brings up how much Abuela means to her and how much being raised by this woman has made her a strong woman.

It’s likely that Abulea immigrated from another country. Like many children from immigrant families, they know the sacrifices their family took to her there. Santana likely heard from father (as i think Alma is her paternal grandmother) about the importance of doing good in school (and her education as she values it) and likely heard stories about the many jobs her grandma took. Likely those that are stereotypical like agricultural work, working in restaurants, or working as a cleaning lady. Jobs that were all she could get because of the limits society places on her (Abuela). ( Santana really admires this woman. She lets her know how much in the coming out scene. )

Santana embraces being Latina and holds no apology for being so, and admits that she is bigger and better than the limits society places on her. Santana wants to continue to be bigger and better. She admits that she can’t (or doesn’t want to) do that without Brittany and Abuela. Santana feels she simply exists without them. Perhaps also saying that they give her the strength she needs to be bigger and better. She is oh so hopeful that reminding her of all that will make her Abuela come along.

Unfortunately, it is not enough for Abuela. She reminds Santana that she loves her, but not enough to attend the stop following her beliefs. She adamantly says that girls marry boys and not other girls. It’s a sin in Abuela’s eyes, and she refuses to attend the wedding. What happens next in this scene makes me so proud of Santana. Before this moment, Santana was this scared little girl who hid behind this HBIC persona. In short, Santana struggled to love and accept herself. She dated guys for status. She rejected Brittany for so long and told her she was using her and didn’t love her. She had beards and even wrote a song about a boy. She had confessed to Brittany that she was scared about all the talks and looks she would get from others. She hid her feelings and love for Brittany and pushed her away into another person's arms. While doing so, she was more angry and miserable than she had ever been. She had to witness the girl she loved more than anything be with someone else because she was too scared, and it hurt her. It would take some more time for her to embrace herself fully. Even then, she didn’t have much choice. She was forced into accepting herself because she was outed to everyone in her school, in Lima, and in Ohio (and anyone who stumbled across that campaign ad online). Still, she did eventually get there. It was not easy for her at all, but she got there. She was happy. She surrounded herself with the love of her friends. She grew as a person. She became friendlier, was happier, and she allowed herself to love others (Brittany, Dani). Moving to New York was scary for her, but she did it anyway (with a little shove from Brittany (again, she thinks they helped to make her bigger and better). She helped her friends get a job, auditioned for Broadway, went to auditions, held various jobs, and attended school.

Santana remembered how Abuela taught her to be bigger and better than her school, her city, and her state would ever allow her to be when she was in New York. She was even bigger and better than the limits she had placed on herself, especially when she was in high school. She was determined to make something of herself. Sometimes even doing things that weren’t even her dream.

No matter the years that had passed, Brittany knew that despite Santana saying she was okay and choosing Brittany over everyone, including the woman that meant so much to her, Santana still missed her Abuela. In this scene, unlike the last time when Santana bravely confessed to Abuela about her feelings and was gay by herself, Brittany was there alongside Santana. Brittany quickly stepped in to protect the woman she loved. Despite being upset that things aren’t going as they had hoped, she puts on a brave face and tells Abuela that it is okay if she doesn’t go. With a smile and some spunk, Brittany tells Abuela they don’t want her there. Santana is surprised that Brittany spoke up at first, too.

Brittany, who usually is kind and sweet, had her claws out. She used her genius mind to give statistical facts she’d read about to tell Abuela off. Usually, Santana would know not to speak to Abuela in such a manner. This is likely because Santana knows better. Her Abuela likely taught her to respect her elders or at least always to respect her. When Brittany finishes talking, Abuela expects Santana to apologize and stick up for her, but to Alma’s surprise, Santana doesn’t. Instead, Santana, the girl who was scared to tell her Abuela she was gay because she feared losing her, stood by Brittany, the woman she loved and who had told her Abuela to go on and love herself in a way Santana likely never has and would never dare to.

Santana doesn’t just defend Brittany or stands by her. Santana refers to her relationship with Brittany as love. She uses their love as an example of what love is. Santana, the girl who told Brittany she didn’t love her and that she was nothing more than just sex because Puck was in the slammer, the girl who refused to talk about feelings, and the girl who panicked when Rachel referred to their duet as sapphic romance, told her Abuela that what she and Brittany share is love. She uses the words “real love” to describe their relationship and what they had.

The choice of Santana words is significant. Likely, Abuela empathized the importance of love when it came to family (even if Santana experienced a lot of tough love from Abuela, her dad, and likely other family members like her mom.) all her life. Santana likely had seen a lot of it.

The choice of the word “real” may indicate just how deeply Santana was hurt when Abuela disowned her. We did see her cry in season 3 when Santana came out to her. Still, the choice of words makes me think that Santana felt deceived about family sticking together and loving each other no matter what (something Abuela mentions in this very same episode in the Queso Por Dos segment) because of how quickly things changed when she came out. All it took was a confession and a few seconds for that love to disappear.

It’s possible she viewed what she knew as love before, as fake love, or love that was not unconditional. Santana choosing to use “real love” to describe her relationship with Brittany is Santana saying, “We stick together and love each other unconditionally, unlike you and I or my own blood.”

Santana then says that Brittany is her family. Again, Santana reminds us that she chooses Brittany over anyone. Again, she’s touching on her previous statement that she and Brittany are an example of “real love” or (as Santana believes with all her heart) a family that sticks together and loves each other no matter what. This is a big deal for Santana.

She is coming full circle because, in the early seasons, Brittany didn’t always come first. She often came second or last to status, beards, prom queen, people’s opinions, etc.

Santana, a girl that misses Abuela, the person she wishes would love her again, has reached a point in her life where she loves herself and Brittany so much that she no longer needs her Abuela or her support, love, and approval. Santana knows she has a lot of that already. A lot, a lot.

The next part in this scene is parallel to Abuela and Santana’s previous scene some years prior from season 3 when Santana comes out to her. In season 3, Abuela told Santana to leave her house with no other word after Santana came out. Despite Santana’s pleas, Abuela had had the final say. In this scene, things are different. Instead of faltering and hiding, Santana puts her foot down and stands her ground. She keeps her head high and has the final say (something that I believe Abuela taught her when teaching her how to be bigger and better than what the world was going to give her permission to be), and Abuela had no choice but to walk away without another word.

To finish this scene, Santana leans into Brittany. Brittany comforts her (like I’m sure Brittany did the first time Santana came into Abuela the moment she could (which I believe was as soon as Santana got into her car where Britt was waiting (just in case Abuela wanted to meet her))). Santana knows she can count on Brittany. She is her family now. They stick together and love each other no matter what, even if it means being disappointed when things don’t go as planned.

Had Abuela and Santana never made up, I would have been completely okay with it because this scene shows a lot of growth in Santana.

It makes me feel so proud of Santana. She cared so much about others' approval. She had been so scared of her feelings for Brittany that she let herself be miserable and made others feel that way, too. Santana ended up being bigger and better than the limits she and society places on her. In doing so, she learned to accept and love herself, Brittany, and their family. Proudly so. While she wanted Abuela in her life, she decided to let Abuela go and instead surround herself with her new family, one that had plenty of “true love.” A lot, a lot.

That is freaking beautiful, and I absolutely love it.

(Also, protective Britt is 😍🥰).

-@lylyluvda916

Pre-Wedding Scene- 6x08

Q: Favourite Glee scene ever? A: My wedding! -Naya (Twitter Q&A 2015)

“My favourite scene to film was the wedding with me and Naya. It’s just a beautiful memory that I am so thankful I have during this time. It happened at the same time as I was getting married, and it just felt like a double wedding, if you will, because that was the title of the episode. It just kind of summed up our entire relationship on the show and it felt so real, and so magical, to do that with one of my best friends.”- Heather (Cameo 2015)

After too much thinking, I’ve decided that my favorite Brittana scene is the pre wedding when they’re getting ready and Britt freaks out because Santana sees her before the wedding, thinking it’s a bad luck thing. And then Santana says to her that rules don’t apply to them and that they make their own luck. After that they kiss in the most perfect way. It’s my favorite because by saying that to Brittany, Santana made it clear that no matter what traditions say or people believe, everyone can choose how to be happy.

-@awesome-shipper

My favourite Brittana scene would have to be just the whole wedding episode if i’m being honest aha (i love all the Brittana scenes lol its soo hard to choose haha) because it shows that love is love and that anyone can get married if you love one another doesn’t have to be man and women, it can be women and women or even man and man! Love is love! I love the episode also because they are just soo cute in it lol, like Brittany having all the pre wedding worries and then Santana calming her down, ahhh its just soo cute aha.

-@elmamacca

It’s so ridiculously hard to pick my favourite Brittana scene, when they all mean so much. Each one means something different for them in terms of their story. Though they may lack screen time compared to other couples on the show, their scenes are filled with so many firsts. First time Santana admits her feelings, first time they mention their officially dating, first kiss, first I love you in a relationship when they're both happy...so they’re each special for different reasons. Even the break up has Santana admit for the first time that she had feelings for Brittany way back in Sophomore year (S1). Something that was implied but never verbalised before that point.

It's hard to pin it down to just one. I love 2x15 for the obvious reasons of getting to see Santana admit what was already clear to see. That she loved Brittany. Seeing her finally admit that was just really poignant for me.

Landslide and Songbird hold such special places in my heart. The bravery. The love. Everything. I felt it all.

Heart was the fluff we so sorely craved for 3 seasons, and they finally we got it in the best way, and we got our first on screen kiss (3 times over).

5x12/5x13 had me feeling euphoric because finally after a season of absolute crap they finally got back together. The kiss was amazing, and we got to see Brittany lay it all on the line for Santana and make it clear who her top choice always was deep down.

6x03 was like a treasure trove of pure joy. The softest bed scene ever which I love for, my fav duet from them and ofc the proposal. Seeing Santana so boldly (I felt so proud of her in this moment) declare her love for Brittany in front of everyone (something she once thought she'd never be able to do), and for Brittany to be able to see that after their rocky start of "I'm not making out with you because I'm in love with you and want to sing about making lady babies", was everything! The call backs to Landslide were just ugh, and it really showed how far they had come. Santana’s speech and how nervous she is, plus Britt’s tears and the way she snatches the ring, lives in my head rent free.

6x06 is also like, incredible, and one of my fav ever Brittana episodes. Just the whole damn episode and how domesticated they are, Santana’s bravery, Brittany’s protectiveness, all the soft af dialogue that looks like it’s been plucked straight from a fanfic. The “did I ever tell you that I love you?” “tell me again” scene is one of my all time favourite scenes from them ever, and I can’t with how utterly adorable and playful and in love they are. Essentially, my love for the ship holds no bounds so there are too many “fave scenes” to count. Truthfully, I could write an in-depth analysis about every single one one of their scenes and how it touched me in some way, but I think if I had to pick just one I'd go with 6x08 the pre-wedding scene.

It's their last major "two-shot" scene and I honestly think it captures everything. Not only is it just contextually sweet the way Santana can't wait any longer to see Brittany and the words that she says, and the way Brittany is nervously freaking out, it ties up a lot of their story. Santana says with confidence "you love me, and I love you" after what seems like a lifetime of self-doubt, finally she knows Brittany loves her and no longer has to question that. This is the same girl who begged Brittany to say she loved her back as a scared closeted teenager, and now she's standing in front of her on their wedding day knowing that Brittany loves her without even needing to hear it. But regardless we do get an "I love you so much" from Brittany, unprovoked by Santana, which again is a callback to that heartbreaking 2x15 scene. It was all Santana ever wanted to hear back then, now she gets to hear it so freely on their wedding day. Their wedding day guys!? Nothing can ever top that for me, for them to have that ending to such a imperfectly perfect story, after all the erasure, the angst, the break-up, seeing them with other people, watching Brittany go off to MIT and thinking yep...this ship is done because Heather's never coming back now.

The way Santana manages to calm Brittany and make her see clearly, is everything, and it really shows that yin/yang dynamic that I love so much about them.

Being someone who felt like I was living vicariously through them and seeing them get the ending of all endings and get married which is such a rarity (or certainly was at the time) for WLW ships was EVERYTHING. There's also the kiss (my fav kiss of there's) and the fact that moments later Abuela comes in and finally makes amends with Santana. It was the perfect, happy, full circle ending to a rollercoaster of a story, and nothing will ever get more satisfying than that.

-@chooseyouovereveryone

Full List Of Scenes & YouTube Links

Brittany & Santana Talk To Holly Holliday About Their Feelings

Landslide

Hurt Locker

Songbird

Heart Locker

Officially Dating

Rumour Has It/Someone Like You

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

Cherish/Cherish

I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)

Tongue Tied

Mine

Santana Walks Brittany Out Of The Auditorium One Last Time

Valerie

Churros Kiss

The Lilies Scene

The Bedroom Scene

The Proposal

The Hallway Scene

Brittany Confronts Santana’s Abuela

Pre-Wedding Scene

Top 5 Scenes

Each of them had 3 responses each.

Landslide

Hurt Locker

Songbird

Lilies Scene

Pre-Wedding Scene

Season Breakdown

Season 2, Season 3, Season 6 (5 scenes each)

Season 5 (3 scenes)

Season 4 (1 scene)

Season Popularity By Number Of Responses

Season 2 (12 responses)

Season 3 (9 responses)

Season 6 (8 responses)

Season 5 (6 responses)

Season 4 (1 response)

Thank you all so much for reading, participating, sharing etc. I really hope you’ve enjoyed it!

#brittana #brittany and santana #glee #gleeks #glee brittana #glee brittany #glee santana #santana lopez #brittany s.pierce #brittany pierce #rumours #10yearsofbrittana #10yearsofrumours #brittana fan project #brittany x santana

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megsironthrone · 3 years

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You Don’t Have to Do This

Based on this request: okay umm👉👈🥺 if requests are open, I would really like one with sandor clegane x reader (female if it’s okay) set in the one to last episode of the series, yeah that ugly episode for us sandor stans…….😭 like can the reader arrive in the red keep while sandor is fighting his brother and helps him out? managing to not get him brutally tumbling to the ground with him? and then he confesses his love for her? ❤ 🙏 thanks

Here you are, lovely! *Familiar Characters are NEVER mine!* Also, as I refuse to rewatch this episode in particular, some things from the scene have been altered(though I will say the scene portrayed in the gif is one of my favorite Sandor & Arya scenes)

Warnings: Angst w/happy ending, violence, fire, The Mountain, death

Pairings/Characters: Sandor Clegane x fem!reader, The Mountain.

(^^Also Could someone please help me learn to make gifs?? I really would like to find/make more Sandor gifs that are NOT SanSan related XD)

You pushed passed the crowds of people trying to get out of the city and trying to avoid the flames raining down. Nothing mattered in that moment but finding Sandor. You knew he was headed for the Keep and you were determined to stop him and get him out of King's Landing before you both died in one way or another.

You ran as quickly as your legs would carry you toward the Keep and the man you'd come to love. Your legs threatened to give out and your lungs burned, but pure perseverance and love pushed you forward. Finally, after what seemed like hours, you made it inside. Luckily, your entrance had made enough noise to attract Sandor's attention because you couldn't speak in that moment even if you wanted to.

His brows furrowed for moment before deciding to let you take a moment to catch your breath. He turned to Arya, who you just now noticed was in the room, and said something along the lines of, "You want to be like me?" You watched as a look of understanding came over the young lady. She began to walk out of the Keep, thanking Sandor then leaving the two of you alone.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his deep brown eyes meeting your (e/c) ones. "Please, Sandor. I know why you're here. You don't have to do this. Come with me. We can find a way out of the city. We can escape. Please…" you trailed off. You weren't sure what else to say without admitting your feelings for the man. Feelings you were certain he would reject and you couldn't bear that.

"I can't let him keep living." You ran forward and gently grabbed his arm. "Please, Sandor. He isn't worth your life. The best revenge you could have is leaving and living the rest of your life peacefully, out of his shadow. Sandor, look at me. I am begging you don't do this." Sandor shook his head, removed your hand from his arm, and turned away.

You felt your heart clench once more at the thought of Sandor dying at the hands of his resurrected brother. You couldn't let him go alone. To that end, you followed after him. "What are you doing?" he snapped. You rolled your eyes. "I'm coming with you. I can't stop you, but I sure as all Hells am not going to let you go alone." His brows drew together as he tried to contemplate the meaning behind your words.

"Fine," he said after a moment, "Just stay out of trouble." You chuckled, but there was no humor in it. "This entire situation is nothing but trouble. But I will stay out of your way unless I think you need help. I just…I need to be there and know that you're okay." Once more, Sandor didn't say anything, but you could almost see the gears turning in his head. However there would be no more time for conversation.

You heard him before you saw him. The Mountain. Gargantuan and imposing. Lethal. You felt a shiver rip through you when he rounded the corner. He seemed to ignore you in favor of staring down his brother. You didn't hear anything Sandor said to him. You just wanted it to be over. Sandor needed to win this time. The sound of a blade swinging through the air had you moving out of the way as quickly as possible.

The scene before you unfolded as you watched in horror. The brothers were somewhat evenly matched. Well, except for the Mountain being dead-but-not-dead. It seemed his strength was left intact when he was brought back. When the Mountain had Sandor pressed up against the crumbling walls of the Keep, you knew you couldn't wait any longer.

You rushed forward, drawing the Mountain's attention to you long enough for Sandor to straighten himself up. Your relief was short-lived as the giant man grabbed you by the throat and threatened to throw you into the roaring flames below. Your eyes met Sandor's for a brief moment and a look of understanding passed between you. With one hand, you tried clawing at the Mountain's gauntlet-covered hand while your other hand reached for the nearby torch.

Sandor yelled at his brother, causing him to remove his helmet to vehemently glare. You took the opportunity to reach next to you. You grabbed the torch and swung it against the Mountain's head with all your might. He let out a blood-curdling scream, dropping you to the stone steps. No pain registered in your mind as you focused on the task of helping Sandor.

The Mountain was precariously close to the walls, giving you an idea. You only hoped Sandor would catch on quickly or the Mountain's sword was coming for your neck next. From your position on the ground, you could easily reach the Mountain's legs. Sandor had him bent backward over the wall. If you were quick enough, you could end this right then and there.

Without waiting another minute, you took aim. If you hit him in the just the right spot, you could throw him off balance long enough for Sandor to finish the job. Since the Mountain wasn't paying any attention to you anymore, you had your chance. His knees bent just enough. With a smile, you carefully reached over and rammed your elbow into the back of one knee and then the other. Then, you stayed on all fours behind his legs, basically creating a table from your body.

In his surprise, the Mountain released his hold on Sandor. Sandor took one glance at you and got the idea. With all his might, he shoved. The Mountain lost his balance, flipping over you and off the walls, down into the flames below. Sandor helped you to your feet and the two of you watched his brother fall. When you could no longer see him, Sandor pulled you back and gazed into your eyes.

"What in Seven Hells were you thinking, woman?!" he snapped, "You could have gotten yourself killed!" You huffed a little and crossed your arms. "A 'thank you' would be nice. I told you I would stay out of the way unless you needed help. And you did! I-I couldn't let you die, you idiot! I saved-" you were cut off, letting out a squeak of surprise when you felt Sandor's arms wrap around you.

"Don't do anything like again," he muttered. You pulled back slightly to look at him. "Sandor, I…why are you so worried? I'm fine." Sandor let his brown eyes meet your (e/c) ones. "I," he started, but couldn't seem to find the words, "I-Dammit, woman! Just accept that I can't lose you!" You felt your lips stretch into a smile. "Sandor, do you love me?"

"Aye," he answered without hesitation. You guessed he thought he'd hesitated long enough. With everything going on, there were no guarantees after all. You moved to stand a couple steps above him so you could meet his gaze. "I love you too." You placed your hands on his shoulders and slowly leaned closer to him. Sandor froze for a moment, but began leaning in as well. "Are you sure about this?" he asked when your lips were a mere breath away from one another. You laughed lightly. "Absolutely. Will you kiss me, Sandor?" You question was answered when he smashed his lips against yours, practically pulling you off your step in an effort to bring you closer to him.

(a/n: I hope this is what you wanted! I miss my Sandor!)

Forever Tags: @fizzyxcustard @brewsthespirit-blog @etherealpotter @line-viper @frozenhuntress67 @cd1242 @gruffle1 @smalltownbigheart @igotmadskills

Sandor Clegane Tags: @songoficecreamandfireworks @silversprings98 @nkjktk

#george r.r. martin #game of thrones #sandor clegane #sandor clegane x reader #sandor x reader

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thatgirlwhowritesbooks · 3 years

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Smoke Break - A Nace Fic

I’ve had about a million different Nace fanfic ideas rolling around inside my head lately, so last night I wrote one of them. I’m pretty sure this has been done before, but this is my take on the smoke break conversation Nancy mentions having with Ace in 1x01. Inspired by the fact I’m about to start rewatching the show for the third time before season 3 starts in the fall. Enjoy?

Smoke Break

The lunch rush almost did her in.

It was Nancy’s fourth day on the job at The Claw—and her fourth day of work ever—and she already wanted to quit.

Coastal Maine towns in the summer were a bitch, and Horseshoe Bay was no exception. The entire town was a tourist trap, and The Claw was the best (not to mention only) seafood restaurant for miles. Anyone visiting from outside the state just had to stop in for a lobster roll—which was mostly what Nancy served to people all day, every day. She had lost track of how many of her customers had excitedly informed her that eating a Maine lobster roll was on their bucket list.

What kind of person put eating a ridiculously overpriced lobster roll on their bucket list?

It was halfway through the exceptionally busy shift that George tapped her on the shoulder, hard—so hard, she wouldn’t be surprised if it left a bruise. “Drew,” she said, unsmiling. “Go take your fifteen.”

Nancy breathed a sigh of relief. The entire dining room was full, and there were at least five large groups of people waiting patiently outside for a table. This was the busiest she had seen it yet.

And the busiest she ever wanted to see it.

“Thanks, George,” Nancy said gratefully, earning nothing but a glare from her former classmate.

“Don’t thank me. It’s company policy. Now get your ass out of here. Your fifteen is now a fourteen.” Turning on her heel, she stormed off in the direction of Bess, one of the other newer waitresses, who appeared to be struggling with a large table of ten people that was half adults, half kids, and all chaos. It was probably going to result in a huge tip, but Nancy was glad she hadn’t been assigned to that party. She didn’t have the patience for that.

She headed for the back room and retrieved her phone from her locker before exiting out the back door. She was instantly hit with a blast of hot, humid air, and she almost contemplated going right back inside where it was nice and air conditioned. But despite it being almost intolerably hot, it was quiet outside—unlike the madhouse inside. All she could hear were the crashing waves in the water and the squawking of seagulls in the parking lot looking for dropped food, and she welcomed it.

Staring down at her phone, Nancy slowly made her way over to the lone employees-only picnic table that was inconsiderately located right next to the dumpster. She was about to sit down when a voice spoke behind her, startling her.

“Having fun yet?”

Nancy nearly dropped her phone before spinning around to see who had spoken to her.

Leaning up against the side of the building was one of The Claw’s dishwashers—Ace. She’d met him on her first day—another hectic, busy day—but hadn’t really gotten to know him yet. She hadn’t really gotten to know anyone yet. Just the way she liked it.

She’d been aware of Ace’s existence before meeting him at The Claw. They’d gone to the same high school together, although he’d been a senior when she was a freshman, so their paths never crossed. He looked different now than he had back then. He looked taller. His hair was longer. He’d filled out a little—like he spent at least a couple days a week at the gym. He was cute. No, wait. He was hot. Not really her type—he seemed like a bit of a stoner—but he was certainly easy on the eyes.

“Sorry,” he continued before she could answer his question. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t,” Nancy said with a dismissive wave. “I was just a little startled. I didn’t know anyone else was out here.”

Ace nodded. “Yeah. George yelled at me two minutes ago to take my break.”

Nancy smirked. “You too?”

“Yup.”

“Does she yell at employees a lot?”

“All the time,” Ace said with a furrowed brow. He lifted his fingers up to his lips and it wasn’t until then that Nancy noticed he was holding onto a cigarette.

“You’re a smoker, huh?” she asked, wanting to immediately facepalm. He was holding onto a lit cigarette. Of course he was a smoker.

Ace took a long drag and shook his head as he slowly let the smoke back out of his lungs. “Nah. I only smoke when I’m feeling stressed.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. “I’ve had this same pack for two months now, and it’s still mostly full.”

Nancy arched an eyebrow. “I take it you don’t get stressed too often, then?”

“Not really,” he replied. “For the most part, I like to keep things chill.”

“So, then, what are you stressed about right now?” Nancy asked, hoping she wasn’t coming across as being too nosy.

“George yelling at me,” he deadpanned.

Nancy chuckled. “Well, with the way things are going for me with George right now, I might have to bum one of those off you sometime.”

“Anytime,” he said, dropping his cigarette to the ground and stepping on it to put it out. “Sharing is caring is my motto.”

Nancy smiled. “That’s a great motto to have. But I was mostly joking. I don’t do cigarettes.” She motioned to her chest. “Virgin lungs.”

“Well, there’s a first time for everything.”

Something about the way he said it—his voice soft and almost flirty—made Nancy pause. Although, there was no way Ace could be flirting with her. In the only four days she’d been working with him, she’d already been made very aware of his crush on Bess. George had grumbled about it under her breath when she didn’t know anyone was listening, but even if Nancy hadn’t overheard that piece of information, she would have quickly figured it out herself. The guy wasn’t exactly subtle about it.

“I probably won’t be here long enough to share too many smoke breaks with you, anyway,” Nancy said, turning her attention to her phone.

“Why is that?” he asked.

Nancy shrugged. “I just don’t think I’m cut out for this line of work.”

“What kind of work do you think you’re cut out for, then? Sleuthing?”

Nancy’s eyes snapped back up to him, narrowing suspiciously. “Why would you say that?”

“Uh, because you’re the Hero of Horseshoe Bay,” he said with a grin. “The famous Nancy Drew, girl detective.”

Nancy could feel a humiliated blush spread across her cheeks. He knew about that? Oh, right, of course he did. He’d lived in Horseshoe Bay his whole life, just like she had. And she’d made the news quite frequently growing up. She would have been shocked if he hadn’t known about that.

“You’re a pretty big celebrity around this town, you know,” Ace continued. “I’ve just been waiting for the right time to ask for your autograph.”

“Oh, is that right?” Nancy chuckled again. “I’d hold off on that request for now if I were you. Maybe I was famous as a ‘girl detective’, but I’m nothing as the girl who tanked her grades her senior year and might never get into her dream school.”

All traces of amusement left Ace’s face as he frowned. “What are you talking about?”

What was she talking about? This was the first time she had admitted it out loud to anyone. She couldn’t tell her father the truth. She couldn’t tell her friends either because those friends had already decided to move on with their lives without her. Apparently, staying behind in Horseshoe Bay to wait tables for a living instead of heading straight off to college was not sophisticated enough for them.

“I…” Nancy began but then stopped, clamping her mouth shut. She wasn’t sure she had the energy to tell that story.

Slowly, Ace made his way over to the picnic table and sat down beside her, although leaving plenty of empty space between them. He turned his head to look at her, waiting silently for her to continue.

She appreciated the fact he wasn’t trying to pressure her to elaborate. She could tell from the look on his face that he was very interested in hearing what she had to say, but he wasn’t going to force her to say it if she didn’t want to.

And, surprisingly, that made her want to.

“I…tanked my grades my senior year,” she repeated finally. “After she…after my mom died.” She lowered her gaze to her lap.

“Kate Drew,” Ace said softly. “Our guidance counselor.”

Nancy nodded.

“I liked her. I was sorry to hear about her passing.”

Inhaling a shaky breath, Nancy said, “Yeah, me too.” She paused for a moment before continuing. The death of her mother was still very raw. She still cried herself to sleep every night, hoping to wake up the next morning to find out it was all just a bad dream. “Losing her was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me, and I just…I couldn’t deal. So, I gave up on all my schoolwork and I let my grades plummet. I suddenly didn’t care about trying to get into Columbia anymore or becoming an investigative journalist—which is, by the way, what I think I’m actually cut out for. I just gave up. And honestly? I don’t regret it. Even if it means I’m stuck in this town for at least the next year, getting constantly bitched out at work by the girl who hated my guts in high school.”

She paused for a beat, before sneaking a glance over at Ace. “You must think I’m pretty stupid, huh?”

Ace shook his head. “No. Not at all. Although, I’m not exactly in any position to judge, anyway. I mean, look at me. I’m three years out of high school, and I’ve been working here as a dishwasher the entire time.”

“Well, what about you?” Nancy asked. “Have you ever thought about going to college? Is there anything you want to be when you grow up?”

A small smile played at his lips as he stared down at the ground. “As a matter of fact—” he began, but then stopped and immediately wiped the smile off his face. Clearing his throat, he shrugged and said, “Not really.”

Nancy eyed him curiously. He was about to say something. But what? “Not really, huh?”

“Yeah.” The smile returned. “I don’t really care to have any life plans or aspirations right now. I’m sort of a…free spirit, I guess you could say. I just want to take things as they come.”

“A free spirit,” Nancy echoed before adding with a slight smirk, “And a deep soul.”

She wasn’t sure what exactly had inspired her to add that last part, but there was something about this guy that made her think there was a lot more to him than he was letting on.

He was a bit of a mystery.

Maybe if she stuck around long enough at this job and got to know him a little better, she could solve that mystery someday. As Nancy Drew, girl detective.

Ace turned to look at her and when his eyes met hers, she couldn’t help but notice how pretty they were, matching the color of the ocean that bordered their town. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could get a word out the back door flew open, and George poked her head out.

“Break’s over, you two,” she barked. She didn’t wait for them to respond before retreating inside the restaurant and slamming the door shut behind her.

Both amused, Nancy and Ace simultaneously stood from the bench.

“Ready for round two?” he asked her. “If you think the lunch rush is bad, just wait until the dinner rush.”

Nancy groaned. “Can’t wait.”

“Here.” Ace reached back into his pocket, retrieved the pack of cigarettes, pulled one out, and handed it to her. “Take this.”

Hesitantly, Nancy reached up to take it from him. “I’m not going to smoke this, you know.”

“You don’t have to. Sometimes it helps just knowing it’s there if you need it.”

They began their short trek to the back door, where Ace proceeded to open it and motion for her to go in first.

“And hey,” he added, “if you do ever decide you’re ready to try it and you need a light, you know where to find me. I’ll be where the dirty dishes are.”

Another smile—this one almost too big to fit on her face—graced Nancy’s lips. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d smiled this many times in one day. It had been a long time.

“Thanks, Ace,” she said, brushing past him through the open door. “I really appreciate that.”

Ace was right—the dinner rush did turn out to be way worse than the lunch rush. George yelled at her at least three more times before her shift was over, Bess broke at least three plates and two glasses, and one kid threw up all over the floor right in front of her. And she hated to admit it, but more than once, that lone, unlit cigarette in her locker called out to her, and she was tempted to see if it would help to cut down on her own stress levels. But Ace had already left for the day, so there’d be no one there to light it for her.

But she knew he’d be there tomorrow if she needed him. And for now, anyway, that was enough.

#nace #nancy x ace #ace x nancy #nace fanfic

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shortpplfedup · 3 years

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ITSAY Rewatch Anatomy of a Scene Gay Panic! At The Disco, or how trying to have it both ways ends up with you having it no ways

In which Teh tries to pretend nothing is happening and Oh Aew is having none of it.

I Told Sunset About You, Episode 4 Director: Boss Naruebet Kuno Writers: Boss Naruebet Kuno, Goy Arachaporn Pokinpakorn, Kate Karakade Norasethaporn, Junior Naron Cherdsoongnern Cinematographers: Tang Tawanwad Wanavit, Lin Rinrada Pornsombutsatien Score: Vichaya Vatanasapt Cast: Billkin Putthipong Assaratanakul and PP Krit Amnuaydechkorn

‘Bang dao mang’ means 'reverse help' or to be more of a hindrance than a help.And…why couldn’t I study at your place today?It's chaotic at home now. There's Ma, Hoon and Nosomi. You wouldn't be able to concentrate. So I found this quiet cafe for you to study.By the way, if you don’t want to get up at 4, or you don’t want me to go to your place, you can just tell me frankly. I understand. But…But what?Could you reply to my messages? You haven’t replied to my texts all day. You're acting like you’re not okay with me.Well, you want me to reply to your messages every day?Well, hasn’t it been like that all this time?It's not every day. I’ve got other things to do in my life as well.But when you didn’t reply to my messages, you were on Instagram. Actually, if you don't want to do it, it's fine, but don’t do this to me in the first place.

Teh, Teh, Teh. He really thought he could keep all the balls in the air. It never occurred to him that Oh Aew wouldn't be willing to go along with the comforting fiction he's spinning where they can be friends but they can also grope each other and never talk about it and not have it mean anything. In this scene, and throughout this episode really, Oh Aew is setting terms: you can be my friend or you can be my lover, but playing with my feelings isn't an option, and if you won't make the choice, then you can be nothing to me at all. Teh for his part wants those lines as blurred as possible, because that way he won't have to face himself, face his family, face his friends with a truth he is terrified of, and he also won't have to lose Oh Aew. But trying to keep all the balls in the air is a guaranteed way for them all to come crashing down to earth at once.

Oh Aew here has been feeling Teh slip away since things got a little too real in his bedroom. But he's been kinda prepared for this: it's fine if Teh doesn't want to go further, they can just be friends, but they have to actually BE friends. Teh has to tell him, honestly, what it is. He has to know where he they stand so he can know how to be. What Teh allows, what he decides always determines what Oh Aew does about how he feels, that's the way their entire relationship works. It's why the end of I Promised You the Moon is EVERYTHING to me, because FINALLY Oh Aew is the one who decides. But I digress.

I wrote in my original post on this episode about Oh Aew's hurt and Teh's guilt and how their relationship dynamic has been built on it, and look at it on display here, look at their faces. Teh is acting HELLA guilty, and Oh Aew is definitely hurt by Teh's actions. They're totally at cross purposes, even in costuming: they are wearing similar colours (cool little note, Teh's colours are Oh Aew's colours but with yellow/golden tones added to the base colours), but reversed top and bottom. They feel the same, their hearts are conversing, but they can't agree on what to DO about it. It's all incredibly frustrating, and Oh Aew nope-ing out felt absolutely justified.

#itsayrewatch #itsay #i told sunset about you #anatomy of a scene series #on art #translate my love with your heart

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ginnyweatherby · 3 years

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Let's talk process The Prom because the tag is v negative rn and I have some random thoughts

I loved it. Like genuinely. I love the musical and was a little nervous since stage-to-screen adaptions can be a hit or miss, but I liked it a lot.

I've seen a lot of complaints on here comparing the two, but I honestly thought it was a very faithful adaption. Yeah, there were some changes, but that's to be expected. This wasn't a pro shot, this was an adaptation.

Emma: I liked her, especially for a debut role! I thought her voice was really nice, although I'm so used to Caitlin's higher pitch that some of the notes threw me, but nothing major.

I found it odd that she smiled through Just Breathe, but I chocked it up to her daydreaming about having it better than she currently did. Idk, it seemed like a weird acting choice but whatever. I liked her... except for that weird mechanic jumpsuit thing she was wearing. Wtf was that?

Alyssa: I'd have liked to see more of her, but I honestly feel that way about the musical too. She's a very important role, and yet I never quite feel connected to her, at least until her song Alyssa Greene. I found her voice to be a little mature for a high schooler, but no real complaints there.

Barry: Oof, the elephant in the room. Okay, I have mixed feeling about James Corden in general. Loved him in Into the Woods, hated him in Cats, but I like him as a person in general like on his talk show. I was nervous about him in this role because I wasn't sure how he would pull off the campy gay vibe that Barry requires. For the most part, I think he did well. There were some parts I thought were a little cringy (I'm not a gay man so I shouldn't speak on whether it crossed the line into offensive), but I didn't hate him like I feared I would since Barry is my favorite character.

They made him younger for some reason? Is that just because James Corden is younger than the original role is for? He says prom was only 21 years ago, instead of 29. No big deal, just an odd change.

Dee Dee: This was a pleasant surprise! As much as I like Meryl Streep, I was nervous about her in this role, although I do think she was a little too old for it, namely The Lady's Improving. That's a huge number and while I knew she could sing, I wasn't sure her belting chops could handle it, but I thought she sounded great! It's Not About Me was great as well.

Trent: I needed more of him, but again, I've felt that way about the musical too. I'm devastated they halved The Acceptance Song, but I get it. It's not that necessary to keep the plot moving, I would just have liked to hear it, because any excuse for more Andy Randy is always a plus for me.

Love Thy Neighbor was the part I've been most looking forward to since day one and it did not disappoint! I will definitely be jamming to this one a lot in the near future. Loved it.

Angie: Angie isn't a character I normally cared for, and Zazz was one of my least favorite songs so I didn't have many thoughts going into this, but I think I liked her better in the movie tbh? She was more fun I think, and I liked that Zazz became more of a spectacle. It's normally one of the first songs I'll skip on the cast recording, but I thoroughly enjoyed it here.

Tom: Didn't expect him to have so much screentime! They seemed to play up his and Dee Dee's relationship more in this, which is... fine I guess? I didn't really care either way, but I think he did a great job and I didn't find We Look to You as boring as I usually do lmao. He and Dee Dee were cute, especially on their Apples & Bees date.

Mrs. Greene: I mean, what can I say? She pissed me off, which was her entire purpose. Her dress at the end was ugly af tho.

Some of the changes they made were... Choices, but nothing that really stood out to me as terrible.

The addition of seeing Emma's grandma was fun, especially her bonding with Barry. I just thought it was cute - as was his relationship with Emma, obviously.

The addition of Barry's mom however was um, odd. I'm fuzzy on the details in the musical, but I don't know if we ever learn whether Barry actually calls her or not? He mentions it in Barry is Going to Prom, but I think it's left up to interpretation, which I like. Seemed weird, but I guess it was a sweet moment?

Unfortunately, this meant we didn't get the "you're going to lose her" moment I kept waiting for. Slight complaint there.

Dee Dee calling Barry's mom though... her heart was in the right place, but that may not have been the best choice. He was clearly upset, and rightfully so - his parents wanted to send him to conversion therapy ffs. That's traumatizing. It should have been his choice to reconnect, not something forced upon him.

They seemed to give the adults (mostly Barry and Dee Dee) more backstory, which was probably unnecessary, but I didn't mind it. Unpopular opinion, but they're my favorite parts of the show anyway.

However the addition of more backstory certainly added an extra element of angst. Ouch. Some moments hurted.

Barry and Dee Dee's relationship is really sweet and I'd like to explore it more sometime.

I liked that the songs weren't really changed much (a few words here and there, but nothing too noticable), other than The Acceptance Song and You Happened, but I liked Emma's Tonight Belongs to You reprise a lot, so I'll deal with it.

Unruly Heart gets me every time man... actually this movie in general made me tear up like three separate times ugh ugh.

All in all, I found it to be a very true adaption and have no real complaints at this time. I'm sure I will revisit this movie soon and maybe I'll take a deeper dive in a rewatch, but for the most part, I found it to be thoroughly enjoyable and I think if anyone is looking for a fun musical to watch, you should check it out, as well as the Broadway version.

This is a special story that shouldn't be missed.

#in which ginny TALKS TOO MUCH #the prom #the prom spoilers #emma nolan #alyssa green #barry glickman #dee dee allen #trent oliver #angie dickinson #tom hawkins #ginny watches musicals #random ramblings

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feralnumberfive · 3 years

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The Rewatch Academy: Episode 2 of Season 1

“Run Boy Run”

I am in no way a good analyst so my little analysis and speculations probably sound a bit goofy or pretty wild and probably mean nothing at all. Everything I put into this post about each episode is purely what I noticed or thought, whether it's funny or serious. I will be making jokes, so please just leave it at that (in no way am I trying to make fun of an actor and or character!) I am also in no way saying I noticed this stuff first. This is just what I noticed while rewatching these episodes

☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂

1x01 | 1x02 | 1x03 | 1x04

☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂

☂ Ben is a tired boy leaning on his chair

☂ Luther and Allison please stop making googly eyes at each other

☂ Five really woke up and chose violence that day huh

☂ Diego already knows shit is about to go down and it’s so funny

☂ I love that Reginald doesn’t even scold Five for stabbing the table

☂ Five: “I have a question.” blah blah blah Veggie is talking Five: “I want to time travel.” That’s not a question, Five

☂ It’s interesting to see young Five blinking/jumping compared to older Five. Even at this age, 13, he says that he’s still practicing his spatial jumps. Young Five needs to clench his fists and almost squeeze his eyes shut just to concentrate. Older Five simply just teleports without effort and is able to casually blink even as he’s just walking. Five probably practiced teleporting a lot in the apocalypse

☂ Someone else pointed this out, but all of the other Umbrellas are frozen for a for a second as Five teleports next to Reginald. While that freeze is just editing, and possibly a small error, this is another example of how Five’s spatial teleporting doesn’t make a noise. Luther, Diego, and Allison only look at Five when he begins talking to Reginald. Grace notices Five right away because he is in her line of sight while Luther and Diego were looking at where Five was sitting and Allison had her head down eating

☂ “The effects it might have on your body, even your mind, are far too unpredictable.” Harsh foreshadowing

☂ The “Run Boy Run” scene is one of the best musical moments in all of the show. It gave me chills when I first heard it, and the fact that all of the lyrics that play during that part match so perfectly with it make it even better. Tomorrow is another day being sung as Five travels into 2019 is just too good

☂ Imagine how scared you have to be to call out to your p.o.s father

☂ The instant regret immediately falls onto his face and he kneels in front of the Academy

☂ I love how in the first few episodes Five’s hair is styled exactly as it was when he was an old man and when he was actually 13. Over the rest of the season and the second season it just gets more disheveled and floppier

☂ “You think I didn’t try everything to get back to my family?” Ahhhh there we go, one of my favorite Five lines. This here is probably when I truly fell in love with his character. He spent 45 years just trying to survive and attempting to get back to his family. He would have spent more too if the Handler hadn’t taken him in

☂ Vanya is genuinely trying to understand what happened and Five was being a little asshole. C’mon, bud, she’s just confused and hasn’t seen you in forever

☂ This Five and Vanya scene melts my heart (simply as a sibling relationship!!) She doesn’t care anymore if she understands, she just wants him to stay because she hasn’t seen him in a while. Even Five understands that as his demeanor quickly changes from being frustrated to gently telling her “Night.” He watches her as she leaves, also partially realizing that he hasn’t seen her in a while too

☂ Why didn’t Five just teleport outside of Vanya’s apartment?? That would have been the stealthiest thing

☂ “All quick and efficient skills.” A little note on Five’s level of skill of slaughtering the Commission agents in Griddy’s

☂ Diego said he bought his police badge on Ebay, so computers do exist in the UA universe

☂ “By the way, this thing might look like a botched robbery, but my gut’s telling me something else is going on here.” Yeah, and that something else is your brother

☂ I want Claire to meet her uncles and aunt so bad

☂ So Ben has a ghostly puzzle book and pen he can use? Because if they were real Pogo would have been able to see them just floating in the air. What other ghostly items can Ben summon? (I believe this is more so just an error but it’s fun to think about)

☂ “I-I found it at a playground, actually. Must have just *click* popped out.” An underrated Five line

☂ Five immediately becomes aggressive at the thought of losing the eye, something he found clutched in the hand of his dead brother and was a clue to what caused the death of his siblings and the end of the world

☂ Just now noticed that you can see Diego up on the second floor being led down to where Patch is in the police station

☂ I really like that they added in the little tidbit about a cold case Five created 81 years ago

☂ I miss Patch. She deserved better and more screen time

☂ Hey, Diego might have been thrown out of the Police Academy but at least he’s still in The Umbrella Academy!

☂ Hearing Patch talk to Diego really made me realize that the Umbrellas weren’t even necessary for helping with crime. It was just Reginald’s way of training them

☂ Love the shot of Luther looking at Diego’s cross-stitch and the camera lining it up so it’s like he’s wearing the mask

☂ Five lying just to keep Vanya away and to continue on with his goal hurts. His goal is saving the world and his family, but I don’t think he actually took in what Vanya was saying to him or maybe he recognized the offer but shoved all of his feelings down. She was reaching out to actually get him some help and he lied to her to avoid that. Maybe he doesn’t care and is just blinded by his ultimate goal. Save the world and family first, then process your feelings and genuinely communicate with your siblings

☂ Don’t worry Klaus, I would have let you wear that outfit

☂ When Cha-Cha questions “Five” aka the poor tow truck guy, she asks him about “The London job in ‘66.” I believe she is referring to the Shepherd’s Bush murders where three policemen were murdered

☂ Hazel replying “Not from what I’ve heard.” when Cha-Cha asks if he thinks Five is a whimperer shows that Five definitely had a reputation in the Commission for probably being a cold and stoic guy

☂ Vanya is just trying to help, chill Allison 😭. You haven’t seen her in years, what do you know about her?

☂ Klaus would really slap his brother in the face to get drug money

☂ Another example of Five not making noise when he teleports is when he blinks into the taxi and Klaus didn’t notice that he had left until he turned to look where Five was. On the other hand though the taxi driver does jump as Five suddenly appears in the car. However, I believe that might be from the driver noticing Five in a mirror in the car

☂ I wonder what languages the Hargreeves siblings know. Vanya didn’t understand Leonard’s German. You think Reginald would have taught them multiple languages or maybe she forgot it if she was taught it

☂ I don’t know why but Luther just siting there and reading a book and almost getting hit by the knife is really funny to me

☂ Yeah Diego doesn’t have to prove his innocence, but it would have saved a lot of trouble

☂ Rewatching the scene with Leonard talking to Vanya about his father is just disturbing when you already know what happened to him and how he’s lying just to try to be more relatable

☂ I heard a rumor that smoking is bad for you ❌

☂ Vanya calling to make sure Allison is okay even though she hurt her makes me sad. She’s so nice and thoughtful

☂ The old man can’t even reunite with his wife before he gets hunted down

☂ The shot of Hazel and Cha-Cha putting on their masks in the dark with the music is 👌👌

☂ Again, Cha-Cha isn’t able to hear Five as he teleports next to her and slices her arm. She might not have noticed him though because he was very quick to attack her

☂ Five really went through all of that just to bring his wife home

☂ I think it’s an easily blocked out part because we already know what Allison has to say and it’s exciting, but Luther is apologizing about accusing Diego and causing issues amongst his siblings

☂ Five is just so defeated and emotionally tired that he doesn’t allow Luther to touch him. In fact, he very quickly and aggressively grabs Luther’s wrist. You can tell Five is a little out of it and I believe it was more so his subconscious stopping Luther. Five doesn’t want help, he’s going to carry the burden of figuring out who ended the world and killed his family as far as he can by himself

☂ “There’s nothing you can do. There’s nothing any of you can do.” Are such heavy lines. Five is so emotionally and mentally tired at the end of the day and he sounds like he’s about to breakdown. He’s replaying the moment he found his siblings’ corpses. They weren’t able to stop the person who ended the world. Luther is offering his help, but Five is denying it. Luther couldn’t stop the person who ended the world. None of his siblings were able to stop that person. He’s telling himself that they can’t help and he’s telling Luther and Allison that too. Five wants to be alone to figure out who this person is. His siblings can’t help him

☂ Five coming across the corpses of his siblings is just heartbreaking. He first stumbles across three adults lying in the rubble. One of them is holding an eye. He goes to shake the man in all black, having a tiny bit hope that miraculously he is still alive. He stumbles across another body only to back away with tears in his eyes as he spots the tattoo on the man’s arm and realizes who these people are

☂☂☂☂☂☂☂

Feel free to comment or reblog with things you have noticed too!

#the rewatch academy #tra #tua #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #1x02 #run boy run #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #number five #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #hargreeves siblings #leonard peabody

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canary3d-obsessed · 4 years

Text

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 11 first part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Goodness)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Okay! This episode is a real slice of healthy family dynamics, not triggering in any way. [Uh if this is your first Restless Rewatch: that is sarcasm, dear readers]

Goodbye to You, Goodbye to Everything We Knew

Nie Huaisang asks why Meng Yao has to leave and Meng Yao says "I killed a guy without permission, so your brother fired me."

Ha ha ha ha no he doesn't. But he does give Nie Huaisang a sweet, sad smile; he seems touched by NHS's distress.

Meng Yao carefully removes Nie Huaisang's hands from his shoulders and bows to him, wordlessly signaling the change in their relationship from intimate friends to formal strangers, while Nie Huaisang looks crushed.

They will return to intimate friendship in the future, but falsely. Meng Yao believes that truly loving a person can include destroying their family and using them as an instrument in your murder plots as long as you don't directly harm them. Nie Huaisang eventually learns to use people just as brutally, but he doesn't lie to himself about what he's doing. This farewell may be the last harmless moment between these friends.

Jiang Cheng is distressed by what's going on, while Wei Wuxian crosses his arms and watches, fully in Sherlock Holmes mode, instead of his more usual concerned-for-my-friend mode. This may signal mistrust of Meng Yao, who refused his initial attempt at friendship, and not in a sexy, slice-your-face-off way. Or it may mean that he's reserving judgement on a complicated family situation. He maintains his uncharacteristic reserve through the entire encounter.

(more behind the cut!)

Nie Huaisang runs in and asks his brother WTF happened. Nie Mingjue says "he killed my subordinate without permission, when he knows perfectly well power must flow from the ruler; it's like he didn't even read that Foucault book I gave him."

Ha ha ha actually he just yells at his brother, as if NHS doesn’t have his own relationship with Meng Yao after being wonder twink powers with him for probably a couple of years now. NHS has to sit and process his loss and confusion in silence.

As a younger sibling who would make friends with my older siblings' girlfriends and then lose those friends if they broke up, for reasons having nothing to do with why I liked their girlfriends, I super feel Nie Huaisang's pain here.

OTOH, older siblings are entitled to have break ups and not explain themselves to anyone besides their lover because that's the nature of intimacy. The moral is, uhh...don't have a family curse that makes you unreasonably angry.

Jiang Cheng steps up to advocate for Meng Yao, because Meng Yao is injured, and because Jiang Cheng is actually a born leader who knows better than to throw away a useful subordinate. For example, even when Wei Wuxian is at his drunkest and most defiant, Jiang Cheng tries to reform him, not kick him out, only drawing the line at having unpopular zombie friends.

Wei Wuxian continues to keep his mouth shut, waiting for Nie Mingjue to calm down, and speaking only about the tactical situation. He clearly knows there's more to this story but he's pretty good at keeping his head down in a family ruckus, and we're about to learn why.

Yunmeng Town

The Yunmeng bros go home to Lotus Pier, where they are greeted in town with bows, smiles, and free stuff.

We've mostly been seeing them in their roles within the cultivation community, where Jiang Cheng is grumpy and anxious, and Wei Wuxian is sassy and iconoclastic. Here among common people, they are both charming, friendly, and polite, like the imaginary good kind of gentry.

They hear the news from a local lotus seller that the small clans are coming to the Jiang Clan for shelter, but that otherwise everything's ok, which doesn't sound like everything is ok at all. He gives Wei Wuxian a giant bag of lotuses for his sister to make soup from.

Home to Lotus Pier

All the disciples practicing in the courtyard at Lotus Pier are excited to see them, and one girl goes running to tell Jiang Yanli. Thanks to the admittedly beautiful design of Lotus Pier, she is running for a long time.

A long, long time. Getting around on all these insane walkways must be a real drag if you're not the flying sort of cultivator.

Discipline and Punish

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian immediately go and kneel while they wait for their official punishment. Jiang Cheng is kinda worried about the punishment and Wei Wuxian is like, I'm good at being punished, just let me do it.

Much later, and for a really long fucking time

He also tries to get Jiang Cheng to stop being mad, even giving him skritches while he says they should be brothers after they die.

Which they will, as it happens, although Jiang Cheng after the Wen torture is only mostly golden-core dead, while WWX dies for real.

When Jiang Fengmian shows up Jiang Cheng starts to explain that they were with Lan Wangji, but Wei Wuxian hushes him; he is still keeping the secret of the Yin Iron. Although he's keeping it in exactly the manner that a teenager keeps their weed stash secret: immediately tell literally every teen friend about it, but keep it extra secret from everybody's parents.

Happy Families Are All Alike

Now we get to meet Yu Ziyuan, who is generally styled Madame Yu but who I'm going to call by her name just as if she was a male character. More on that concept in a minute. She rolls up looking, smelling, feeling like a million yuan, with her two murder bitches in tow.

Her marriage is an unhappy one, and her husband does his best to avoid her and avoid conflict, lying to the kids that she's tired and then sending her away later with the same line about being tired, which is a particularly gendered kind of gaslighting. She is obviously not tired, other than being tired of Jiang Fengmian's shit.

I'm not going to say she's the worst mother ever, because parenthood in a feudal society entails a wide range of skills, many of which she has in abundance. She starts off with a relatively tender greeting to Jiang Cheng, tuning up his always-amazing sartorial style, which is exactly like her own. They are all ready for the mommy & me fashion show.

That said, she dishes out hellacious verbal abuse to everyone in her family. She targets each one in turn, making Wei Wuxian the focus of most of her ire, but without ever directly speaking to him. He is not, in her view, part of her family.

The Stages of Family Dinner

1. Try to fix it and defuse the situation

2. Yeah no

3. Just keep your head down and be glad it’s not your turn in the hot seat

This family meal hammers home how much Wei Wuxian is not, actually, part of the family. Jiang Fengmian adopted him into the clan, and told A-Cheng and A-Yi to treat him as a sibling, but he didn't give him the Jiang name, and he didn't get his wife's approval. He also doesn’t expect him to dress like any other clan member, apparently.

Compare this to how Lan Wangji, actual good parent, fully integrates his own adopted son into his clan and family, starting with giving him the Lan surname.

The hits just keep coming as she goes after Jiang Cheng for being less gifted than Wei Wuxian, Yanli for performing labor for Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Fengmian for possibly begetting Wei Wuxian.

On first watching this scene I took her question "Is this how you raise someone else's son?" to mean that she thought Jiang Fengmian was being too nice to a kid who was actually an outsider, taking resources away from the real kids. But on rewatching, it's pretty clear that she's saying his favoring Wei Wuxian is evidence that Wei Wuxian is NOT someone else's son; that he's Jiang Fengmian's bastard.

Jiang Fengmian doesn't say a thing to this, or to her mentioning WWX’s mother. This shit is why WWX is running around in the world desperate for any crumb of info he can get about his Mom; he hears about her all the goddamn time at home, but only as insults to her character.

A Bitch is Not Wrong

Here's the thing, though; a lot of what Yu Ziyuan says is correct.

Jiang Fengmian should be a lot more concerned about the danger to the children, and should not leave it up to the kids to decide who's going to bear that danger.

Yanli does a lot of food=love, which is ok in the right doses, but causes her to pretty extremely lose face during the whole "soup for Jin Zixuan" debacle. And her doting on Wei Wuxian is...kinda excessive. I mean, yeah, she’s more like a mom than a sister to him, but still. Running out onto an active battlefield to look for him, frex, will be a skosh too much.

I have a dictionary too, mom

Jiang Cheng, as the future clan leader, shouldn't let his attachments affect his decision making, and should let Wei Wuxian, who's the superior cultivator, fend for himself more often. We love Jiang Cheng for those moments where he puts himself in harm's way to protect his loved ones, but it's not a good strategy. He constantly yells at Wei Wuxian for the exact same thing he does all the time himself; he just limits who he does it for.

After she roasts the shit out of everyone for these failings, she leaves, and everyone sits around being miserable and not talking about what just happened.

Not to be gender studies-y on main but: the awful things she says to her children are really not very different from the things that Jiang Cheng says to Jin Ling, although her targeting is more adept. JC also says a lot of mean things to WWX when he’s angry. When a man says cruel or insulting things, it's often presented as real love hidden under a rough exterior. When a woman does it, she's a monster.

If you enjoy this sort of interaction you should definitely have a look at Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf and the plays of Eugene O'Neill.

Road Runner

Oh thank god, moving on

Lan Wangji is headed back to Cloud Recesses, and gets ambushed by the roadside with the most ridiculous trap this side of Wile E. Coyote.

Wen Chao thinks the "rug over a hole" trap is a good idea for someone who can literally fly.

Lan Wangji doesn't faff about with sword riding, he just fucking goes up in the air and stays there until he is good goddamn ready to come down. A hole in the sidewalk is really not going to be a problem for him.

Wen Zhuliu does get in one kick before Lan Wanji yeets backwards away from him, in a moment that's scarier on rewatching, now that I know what Wen Zhuliu is capable of.

Wen Chao talks some smack to Lan Wangji, hilariously complaining about "your patronizing tone" to a man who has literally never spoken a word to him, IIRC, and certainly isn't speaking now. Maybe it's a mistranslation and should be "attitude," or maybe Wen Chao is just that dumb.

Apparently Wei Wuxian made a stack of talismans for Lan Wangji to take on the road with him. This talisman is a twin to the one Lan Wangji brings out way, way later in Yunping, when Wei Wuxian says "you even have kept it until now." Missing scene alert! What else did he make for him?

In Yunping this talisman is used to distract some random harmless street bullies. Here it is used against a seven-man murder squad.

This works.

Assault on Cloud Recesses

Forgettable disciple #1, Su She, comes rushing in to tell Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen that Cloud Recesses is under attack.

I'm pretty sure these dudes already know it, because they are meditating extra hard with a buttload of incense, and Lan Qiren is about to cough up some blood. So I think they're trying to hold the ward, rather than just, like, chilling while their disciples get stabbed.

Cloud Recesses is super on fire, you guys; it's going to totally burn to the ground; look at that conflagration, oh the humanity, etc.

Lan Qiren Rises to the Occasion

Ok, I like to rag on Failmaster Qiren and he is definitely an authoritarian dick a whole lot of the time, but in this scene he is fucking amazing.

He starts off worrying about Lan Wangji, not just out of affection but out of strategic planning, probably in equal parts. All three of these Lans take their clan responsibilities extremely seriously.

Then he calmly assesses the situation while imperturbable Lan Xichen freaks the fuck out.

Lan Xichen is right to be alarmed, because he knows his uncle, he knows one of them is likely to die, and he knows that Lan Qiren will choose to take the hit.

I love, love, love Lan Qiren's physicality here; how centered and assured he is, as he holds his nephew steady and explains what is required of both of them.

Lan Xichen knows Lan Qiren is right. He is utterly fucking devastated, and all he can do to show his love...

...is to obey.

This whole scene just. kills me.

Su She and forgettable disciple #2 are in the room for this whole conversation, and they join Lan Xichen in this deep bow. Note: I will be reminding everyone of this fact in Part 2.

Whew. This episode is a LOT. Part 2 Coming Soon!

Writing Prompt: What other goodies did Wei Wuxian put in Lan Wangji's care package before Lan Wangji hit the road without saying goodbye?

Soundtrack: 1. Michelle Branch, Goodbye to You 2. Ludacris, Stand Up

#fytheuntamed #the untamed #the untamed gifs #wei wuxian #yu ziyuan #lan qiren #restless rewatch the untamed #the untamed spoilers #lan xichen #canary3d-original #my gifs #the untamed meta

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