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undertheredhood · 8 months

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i feel like out of all of the bat-siblings, jason is the one who puts on a persona similar to how bruce acts in public, but not because he wants to keep people from suspecting that he’s the red hood but because of how much it really unsettles the people that really know him, especially his siblings.

i just know that the second they hear him giggle or obnoxiously flirt, the entire batfamily is dragging him to the nearest magical specialist to get him exorcised.

and that’s the exact type of chaos that jason lives for.

(also, damian also likes fucking with his siblings so when he sees jason put on his bimbo persona he immediately puts on a golden retriever type of persona as opposed to his normal black cat self, which freaks out his siblings even more).

#batman #batfamily #batfam #batfamily shenanigans #jason todd #jason peter todd #jason todd wayne #jason peter todd wayne #red hood #robin 02 #robin 2 #robin two #jason was never the angry robin #jason todd is a chaos gremlin #they have zatanna and constantine’s number on speed dial #the only time jason acts like that in public is if he knows that at least one of his siblings is present #jason’s favourite thing is to fuck with his siblings as much as possible #jason todd headcanon #batfamily headcanons #jason todd shitpost #bruce and alfred are in the background shaking their heads at jason’s antics #no one in the superhero community is aware of jason’s fake persona #until a video of his siblings spraying him in the face with water goes viral #his siblings are immediately disgusted when he pulls out the jason ‘jace’ todd persona #damian al ghul #damian wayne #robin #if there’s one thing damian and jason are going to bond over it’s being chaotic #everyone starts panicking when they see them plotting together #idc if this isn’t canon accurate because i’ve haven’t really read the comics in a while

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incorrectbatfam · 25 days

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Bruce is constantly asking the kids what they like to eat so he can freeze dry their favorites into oblivion as apocalypse rations

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violent138 · 4 months

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Red Hood just starts shooting at a Robin and the goons lose their shit, because that's the equivalent of asking Batman to make time in his schedule to fuck you up.

Goon: "Boss, come on, maybe let's leave the kid alone--"

Jason, snatching someone else's gun so he can keep shooting into the shadows after the first one ran out: "That's right you better run, you piece of shit! If you ever dye my hair pink again I'll fucking end you!"

Goon:

#batfamily shitposts #batkids #red hood #jason todd #dc comics #batman

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melucomarket · 5 months

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Sometimes, it be like that, yfm?

#jason todd #dick grayson #batbros #red hood #nightwing #dc comics #shitpost #dc shitpost #dc batman

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lovesick-joey · 2 months

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he's very helpful

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dio-niisio · 26 days

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I love the idea that Batman has a Dad Instinct™. Like he just knows when one of his kids is in trouble! Whatever it is, it can be because of a villain or because they are causing mischief he just knows!

It can obviously be infuriating for the batkids, like he's in the middle of an important meeting with the Justice League and suddenly he just stops talking and goes in his personal comms and starts to bicker with Nightwing saying "No, you can't go bust that cartel alone. I don't care that you and Jason are fighting you are going to take him with you-" and you can hear a distinct "But daaaad!!" from Nightwing.

Or he just says "Don't you dare." when one of his kids is in the Watchtower with him and starts looking at Flash with mischievous eyes.

Or even better he starts to treat some of League members just like he treats his kids! Like "Don't touch that." when Green Lenten takes a step too close to one of the buttons near the windows (he was going to open the windows when the sun is directly hitting on said windows, probably temporarily blinding some people). Or "57 boxes of Oreos is too much even for you, my friend." when Martian Manhunter looks at the kitchen again (he eats too much of the stuff and is starting to become a problem).

Or when he looks at our baby Billy Batson and he has a feeling that he needs to take care of him but that's Marvel! And he's clearly a grown man! Right? (It doesn't help that he just can't find anything on him)

He cares too much for his on good

#shitpost #batman #bruce wayne #batkids #nightwing #dick grayson #red hood #jason todd #flash #green lantern #hal jordan #martian manhunter #j'onn j'onzz #captain marvel #billy batson #justice league

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sepia-stained-sunset · 1 year

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Bruce being so done with life because none of his kids treat their medical files on the batcomputer with the importance it deserves. And the worst part is, he can't tell if it's on purpose or if they're all Just Like That.

Dick:

He loves his eldest son but for some reason, he refuses to do anything but put down estimated recovery times in his injuries folder. It's usually in the range of "2 weeks" to "48 hours" but that just leaves Bruce worrying about what happened.

One time, he put down 3 months and he nearly had a heart attack till his son called and told him Kor'i had dumped him and that this was how long he was going to be wallowing.

Jason:

Is nice enough to tell him what happened but doesn't add the degree of injury.

So he'll put down "stabbed" but won't elaborate on whether it was a flesh wound or worse. Bruce goes grey very, very early after Jason is on the field.

Tim:

Gives him just the location of the injury and leaves him to guess what happened.

Could say "arm" or "back of the head" or, on one memorable occasion, "spleen", but won't say what the heck happened to any of those parts.

Was he stabbed?? Shot at?? Who knows. Certainly not Bruce.

Damian:

Only mentions the retribution he got for any injuries he received.

"It's been handled", "he'll never be able to get the drop on me again" and more often than not, just the word "avenged".

Bruce is surprised he has any of his original hair colour left at all.

Duke:

By far the worst one. He writes down injuries in terms of his own pain scale.

Could write "OW!" or "Not Gucci" or "Better than that time Jason hit me in the face with a TV remote".

Once wrote "Non-fatal" which sent Bruce into a spiral because "holy shit Duke?? What do you mean non-fatal?? Yeah I sure hope your injuries weren't lethal?!"

Cass:

Has never been injured on patrol. Often leaves him question marks in her file which...yeah, fair enough.

#batfam shenanigans #bruce wayne #tired dad bruce wayne #batkids #batsiblings #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #duke thomas #cass cain #long post #batdad #batfam #batfam shitpost

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kittykatninja321 · 7 months

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there are characters for whom “poor little meow meow” doesn’t quite cut it. To me he’s like a traumatized pit bull mix with a bite history and I’m the white girl with a savior complex trying to stop them from putting him down

#Jason Todd #Dc #Yes he’s bitten several people and he may be a danger to society but look at how he whimpers #Shitpost #kittykatninja321 heritage post

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lioneliness-etc · 1 year

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Some goon: *hurts red hood in a fight*

Batman, swooping in: you monster. You should know better than to hurt a child in my city.

Goon: uhh that’s a fully grown man?

Batman: A child. A baby boy. Thats… somebody’s son. Probably.

Jason: oh my god dad you’re so fucking embarrassing

#batfam shitpost #batman #bruce wayne #jason todd #red hood #bruce wayne is a good father #protective bruce wayne #batfamily

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dc-newbie · 1 year

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Jason: -and at least if I was being stalked, I’d know!

Tim: You really wouldn’t.

Jason:

Jason: …What’s that supposed to mean?

Dick: Oh, he doesn’t know.

Jason: What don’t I know??!

Tim: Nothing. You know everything. You are omniscient.

Dick: Not as omniscient as 9 year old Tim apparently.

(*Three hours later Jason finds a stack of candid photos from his Robin years on his desk, taken from disconcertingly close ranges.*)

#tim drake #dick grayson #jason todd #batfam shitpost #batfam

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wolfish-chan · 3 months

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Batfam + co headcanons

- Jason dyes his hair black, but can’t seem to dye back the white streak

- His eyes use to be more brown, but after his dip in the Lazarus pit, they are a dark green

- The Al Ghul’s are similar in that aspect - Ra’s and Talia both have naturally brown eyes and Damian’s blue, but they’re now a vibrant green, reflecting the amount of time they’ve spent in the pit

- Ra’s eyes are the most unsettling, they’re the exact color of the pit water

- Damian has an accent

- Dick does too, but it’s much harder to pinpoint because of how much he’s traveled

- Damian calls Bruce ‘Baba’, but only after he disappeared. Before that it was just ‘Father’

- Tim is supposed to wear glasses, but he tends to forget them and his contacts so his mask is built to compensate. However, he is forever squinting during board meetings at Wayne Enterprises

- Jason and Bruce have the same thinking face but nobody would willingly call it out

- Alfred could definitely kill any of the rogue gallery, but he doesn’t out of respect of Bruce’s values

- Initially, Bruce would get annoyed when Tim would bring YJ into the batcave/manor, but he’s slowly begun to expect it

- He did get tired of finding Bart in his good chair though, so now he has a special one beside it (everyone knows it’s for Bart, but Bruce would rather be caught dead than admit that)

- Duke gets along really well with Bart and Wally, and Bruce feels a headache forming every time they’re together

- Cass is Wally’s favorite out of Dick’s siblings. More often than not, he talks way too fast for her to catch more than a few words, but she’s such an attentive listener that he forgets

- Stephanie and Jason aren’t allowed to be in a room together without supervision because they kept getting into fistfights (she antagonizes him as a hobby)

- When Damian needs time to think, he goes down to the barn to sit with Batcow because nobody ever checks for him there. They always assume he’s off training

- Duke brings out Damian’s childish nature in the best ways, and they’re almost as close as Damian is with Dick

- They pester each other a lot, but then fall asleep watching movies together (true brothers fr)

- The entirety of the batfam refuses to watch superhero movies because they’re “inaccurate”

- Jason and Diana have a genuine bond, and it only grows stronger when he comes back, even if she does get disappointed with his actions. She’s like the mom he never had

- Clark always says he doesn’t have favorites out of the younger generation, but it’s secretly Tim. He appreciates all that he does for Kon (Dick is still his favorite Robin tho)

- Alfred doesn’t make certain recipes anymore because they were something he used to make with Jason, and it upsets him to make them without his assistant

- Tim cannot for the life of him match his clothes, like Adam Sandler type of style

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swugflower · 10 months

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I feel like there would be such anxiety in the high society in and around Gotham when it comes to Bruce Wayne, his children and them attending galas.

I feel like he would basically never RSVP, but just show up with however many children he feels like. (Or accept everything and decide later).

What’s it’s gonna be? Bruce Wayne alone, flirty and drunk? Bruce Wayne, exhausted, because he has his whole gaggle of kids with him? Bruce Wayne and just some of his kids - if so, which one? The one that constantly climbs on something (tho he is popular with the young attendees and milfs), the 17yo CEO, the silent one (looks kinda scary but harmless), the sassy blonde one that isn’t even his fucking kid, the mystery blood child (very scary but if you have an animal charity he will donate lots of money), the newest no nonsense one or even the one that looks like the one who died and claims to have no relation to the Waynes but only ever hangs out with them.

Or will be bring a random date? Or his butler?

It’s a mystery, but you can bet: if even one Wayne shows up, it will be an interesting evening

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incorrectbatfam · 1 month

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Damian's TikTok but it's just him saying "real or cake?" before running up to his siblings with a knife

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escapismisaddicting · 4 months

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“Hey! Yeah, Talia, It’s me Jay.”

“No, Bruce hasn’t been causing me any trouble, um- it’s actually the opposite problem. You… you know post-nut clarity? I think I’m getting post-lazarus clarity. You know?”

“Yeah… Talia, you kinda failed to mention all the shit that had changed in Gotham while I was gone. Like sure I have a replacement now whoop dee doo! But like- I also apparently have a charity named after me? All proceeds go to refurbishing crime alley- and apparently it’s been so successful that most kids I knew back then are now working in Wayne Industries. So- And you know that’s not the only thing? I have a park now. Like a genuine park named after me. With a statue of me in the center of a god damn water fountain. My favorite gargoyle was moved to the entrance of the park. Fucking hell Talia- I HAVE A MENU ITEM AT BATBURGER. NOT ROBIN. NOT RED HOOD. LIKE GENUINELY JASON PETER TODD HAS A FUCKING MENU ITEM THERE! IT WAS BASED ON HOW I WOULD EAT IT ON PATROL- I DON’T KNOW HOW TO COMPUTE THIS INFORMATION TALIA!”

#batman #dc #batfamily #batfam #bruce wayne #jason todd #red hood #ressurection #talia al ghul #batburger #his order is the Todd burger #it’s just a burger with curly fries #and coke with ice cream in it #all proceeds go to charity #shitpost #incorrect quotes

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yourmomxx · 5 months

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Jason: so how's winter going for you?

Y/N, who's violently shivering despite the fact that they’re wearing 7+ layers of clothing: fuck off

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adeptune01 · 5 months

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Tim: What's your toxic trait- go.

Jason: I truly believe I could win in a fight against anybody if I was mad enough- you might have the strength and size but I have pure, unfiltered rage.

Dick: I think people would let me do literally anything if I just say "please" and look at them all nice.

Damian: Every time I get in an argument with one of you I hope I die after so the last thing you said to me will have been mean, you'll be filled with regret your whole life, and ultimately I would have won.

Tim:

Jason:

Dick:

Damian: See? Effective.

#the horrified silence #batfam #batfamily #dcu #red hood #batfam incorrect quotes #damian wayne #jason todd #tim drake #dc #dc comics #dc universe #batfam shenanigans #batfam shitpost

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