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collectivefandomstuff · 3 months

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[on patrol]

Red Robin: [sitting on a rooftop, drinking hot cocoa]

Red Hood: [lands next to him and sits down, pulling out a sandwich]

Red Robin: [holds out a thermos] want some cocoa?

Red Hood: [takes the thermos] yeah, thanks. [offers his sandwich] Want a bite? I baked the bread

Red Robin: hell yes

Red Hood: quiet night tonight

Red Robin: [humms in agreement]

Red Robin and Red Hood: [watches the skyline in silence]

[Nightwing, covered in a slimy substance, flies past them through the air as though he’s been catapulted from a great distance]

Red Hood:

Red Robin:

Red Hood: do you think he saw us?

Red Robin: I don’t think so

Red Hood:

Red Robin:

Red Hood: we can’t all be fighting Ivy, there wouldn’t be anyone left to fight the other criminals

Red Robin: that’s a sound argument. Say while we were helping him someone robbed the mayor, then where would we be?

Red Hood: he definitely came from over by the library, that’s way outside both our routes

Red Robin: so we agree that we wouldn’t be doing our job if we left our post to help with whatever that goop was

Red Hood: definitely

Red Robin: the mayor will thank us

Red Hood:

Red Robin: [sips his cocoa]

Red Hood: cards on the table- I already robbed the mayor earlier tonight

#red robin #red hood #nightwing #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #dc #chat #humor

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arguablysomaya · 3 months

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failed step one

#batfam #dc universe #dcu #batman #batfamily #jason todd #batfam memes #DC comics #dc #DC Universe #incorrect dcu #incorrect batfam quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batkids #1k #5k

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vixfern · 2 months

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Dick: Ugh I really don’t want to go into work

Tim: What the fuck do you mean?? Work?? It’s daytime?? You’re gonna go out in the day to do vigilante stuff??

Dick:??? No?? My fucking job? Being a police officer??

Tim: THE FUCK??? SINCE WHEN HAS THIS BEEN A THING??

Dick: A WHILE???

#batman #dc #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne #dcu #incorrect quotes #dick grayson #nightwing #tim drake #red robin #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes

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bruciemilf · 1 year

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Bruce is painfully Mom coded in a very specific aspect

Bruce: It's a dangerous mission, you're not going. End of discussion.

The bat kids: Or what.

Bruce:

Bruce: ... What?

The Bat Kids: ...Um.

Damian, literally inventing 10 prayers on the spot for them bc he's the youngest and doesn't get in trouble:

#bruce wayne #batdad #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #bruce simply smiles and gets quiet when hes angry and it literally makes ppl cry #text

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galaxymagitech · 3 months

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Tim: I’m fine.

Jason: Lol, no you’re not. But lucky for you, I don’t care. Wanna go fight assassins?

—

Jason: I’m fine.

Dick: Okay, I thought you were fine, but now I’m worried.

—

Damian: I’m fine.

Tim: Is no one going to mention the fact that he’s bleeding from a head wound?

Tim: *receives a matching head wound from the stabby child*

Tim: I’m fine.

—

Dick: I’m fine.

Bruce: Going by historical precedent, I have the feeling I should’ve called Leslie an hour ago.

—

Bruce: I’m fine.

Alfred: Perhaps I should invest in a dictionary. It seems that this entire family lacks an understanding of basic English vocabulary.

#batman #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #batfam #dc comics #dick grayson #jason todd #damian wayne #tim drake #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #humor

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yourmomxx · 5 months

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Jason: so how's winter going for you?

Y/N, who's violently shivering despite the fact that they’re wearing 7+ layers of clothing: fuck off

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gothamundernightlight · 13 days

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Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Damian: *texting the Batkids groupchat

Damian: I want to be a menace this weekend.

Jason: I will join you on this journey.

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elektrae · 1 year

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The Batfamily as tweets that make me laugh.

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batfamhyperfixation · 1 year

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*Dick hangs up*

Bruce: Huh.

Duke: Uh oh. What's going on, B?

Bruce: Dick usually says "I love you" when we hang up. And then he sings it and then he whispers it. This time he just said, "gotta go, dad"

Cass: Well, maybe... He's gotta go?

Bruce: Yeah, maybe. It just feels like Dick hasn't been around as much lately. Last week, he only came to four out of seven breakfasts, and he missed bat-equitment maintenance day to, and I quote, "train with Wally." He didn't even come over to watch that other unrelated Wayne family on Family Feud.

Damian: Their performance was- survey says- disgraceful.

Bruce: I mean, I don't want to just throw around the D-word but...

Steph: *Gasp* Dracula disorder?

Bruce: Drifting. As in we're all drifting apart. This was my worry when Dick moved out to Blüdhaven, that we'd see him less and less. And then from there, who knows what would happen?

Jason: oh my god, is it me driving him away? I'm always pestering Dick with annoying questions like "How much do you think your arms weigh? Like if you took them off your body and weighed them separately?"

Tim: *gasp* it could be my fault. The other day, when Dick and I went to the movies, I got a small popcorn to share and he said, "I wish you'd gotten a medium."

Damian: well, I know it's not me. I'm amazing.

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shade9o9 · 2 months

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Batboys as a convo I had with my brothers

Dick: Me and Jason are going to Metropolis for a secret mission.

Damian: For what?

Tim: I believe that's the secret part of it.

Jason: *starts laughing*

#jason todd #tim drake #dick grayson #damian wayne #bat brothers #batboys #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #nightwing #red hood #red robin #robin #this was funnier in my head

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nibordereht · 1 year

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Tim: Is your masculinity fragile or why is your costume blue?

Dick: Tim, what—

Tim: Mine is red, almost pink.

Tim: I'm a real man.

Jason: Then Superman is gender fluid?

#what is this #tim drake #robin #red robin #batman #batfam #batfamily #red hood #jason todd #dick grayson #nightwing #incorrect tim drake #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #dc #toxic masculinity

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rube-too-many-fandoms · 7 months

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Tim ‘the-world’s-greatest-detective’ Drake, 30 seconds after arriving on scene:

“The murder weapon was a golf club, the victim’s brother did it, and it has no connections to any of the Gotham rogues. Anyone have a pen?”

Tim ‘hasn’t-slept-in-80-hours’ Drake, trying to figure out why his frog shaped coffee mug Looks Like A Frog:

“what the ffukc are you” *blinks one eye at a time*

#tim drake #tim drake red robin #red robin tim drake #red robin #batfam #tim drake incorrect quotes #incorrect tim drake quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #batfamily incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect batfam #batfamily #batfam headcanons #ruby’s dc posts

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arguablysomaya · 11 months

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Jason: I think I’m coming down with something. I’ve been so nauseous lately

Dick, seriously: Maybe you’re pregnant

*they sit there in silence for a moment*

Jason: I don’t know who’s the bigger idiot. You for suggesting that, or me because I almost had a panic attack

#batfam #batfamily #incorrect quotes #batman #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfam #dc #jason todd #dick grayson #dc universe #dcu #1k #5k #10k

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vixfern · 3 months

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Tim: They... well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff?

Dick: Um, murder???

Damian: Adventuring.

Jason: Tuesday.

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yesiknowimshort · 1 year

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on several separate occasions, dick, jason, tim, steph and damian have all sent this to bruce.

“false. so far there has been a 100% supposed mortality rate.” jason adds.

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headcanonthings · 3 months

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Jason: would you take a bullet for me? Roy: ....yes? Tim: *angrily bursts through the window with a nerf gun in his hand.* Jason, already running away: thanks!!

#the batfam sometimes makes their game nights everyone's problems #incorrect quotes #incorrect dcu quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #dcu #batman #batfam #batbros #jason todd #red hood #roy harper #arsenal dc #tim drake #red robin dc

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