#its the potential undiagnosed neurodivergence | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

waywardsou2 · 3 months

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REALLY QUICK. I TAKE REQUESTS FOR MOOD BOARDS

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New master post because the old one is broken

About me!

Welcome to my blog! My name is Wayward (not irl obviously. Though I wish) Just some basic information *ahem* I'm transmasc, androgenous (masc leaning), omniflux (but mostly mlm). Kinda complicated, yeah, but aren't we all. My pronouns are He/Him (main) Xe/Xir (trialing neos) They/Them (for my more 'who cares about gender' mood). I haven an extensive list here 👉: Pronoun card.

Other random info about me :) I'm an aspiring author (my ao3 here 👈) and self-taught artist.

I have an TMNT AU I'm currently writing/designing. Find that here 👈

I'm also a Punk (in clothing and in ideologies and less so in music. yk just deal with it, it's the spirit that counts)

I'm also a monster fucker -I mean what? Who said that?

My beliefs are centered in Nordic Witchcraft, so no hate or I will bring down the might of Thor on your head. You've been warned. But if you are gonna play nice you can find me here 👈.

I'm quite odd so if that bothers you then don't stick around. I'm never in the mood to fight so don't even try it. Oh also, I'm an undiagnosed neurodivergent (probably autistic) and diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Although I'm pretty good now-a-days.

This blog is mainly for my shit posting, doom scrolling, fandom shenanigans, hyper fixations and it's my main. Everything else I do branches off into its own blog. Kinda like blog children. Bloglins you could even call them. (I'm coining that term. Mine now) My current hyper fixations are TMNT and HTTYD.

I LOVE GETTING ASKS. I have a few ask games I'm happy to do so I'll link them 👈. I usually answer within a day or two so please send them in. They are so much fun and I love interacting with communites . My DM's are also open if you just wanna chat in general or have any questions you want to ask not publically (for reasons).

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If you are an alter/non human follow me here

As I'm sure most of you can relate to this I really dont see why I need to say it but it's the internet so you can never be too careful. But I'm really attached to a lot of fictional characters from many franchises and if I ever post about them please be nice. Even if you dont like them or the potential discourse around them. Just be decent ok? They can be found here 👈

Now that I've told you about me there are some ground rules to go over for my corner of the internet.

No harassment, bullying, discourse or anything of that nature belongs here. This is a Peaceful blog alright? I dont want none of that shit 🫵

No terfs, no homophobes, no transphobes, no zoophiles, no pedofiles (you are not MAPS ok, fuck off), no incest shippers, no anti-lgbt of any kind, no bigots, no conservative Christians, no religion haters (there is a balance), or anti-alter humanity of any kind. I think you get the idea but if I get even a hint that any of you people are lurking you will get tossed out like the trash you are. IMMIDEITLEY 🖕

No dark jokes or snides at mental health, it's tough shit and people dont need any more negativity to deal with. I will fucking report you if you ever do anything of the sort on my blog.

And finally no drama or discourse. seriously no one has the time or energy for that esspecially me. Just dont ok? 👎

I have a few personal tags and may add more when need arises but if your looking for something in particular you may find them with these tags

#wayward rants

# wayward rambles

#wayward asks

#wayward rambles

# helpful reblogs

# waywards wallflower AU

#waywards art

!!!SHOUT OUT TO MY MOOTS!!!

@neonleons-posts @small-spiderpunkboy @fireflysquidsoup @ghosts-in-the-outfield @promiscuousbarnes @waywardsarah @corrupt-touch @dissapointedcreeper @regulusblackisamermaid

I have another Master Post type post so anything that isn't here will be there. It's kinda like a less detailed pt 2 to this post. You can find that here 👈. And if for some reason you want to see the old Master Post, I am gonna keep it up so you can find that here 👈

That's all for now folks hope you have fun whilst visiting my blog.

#welcome #welcome to my corner of the internet #welcome to my blog #punk #artists #writer #a03 #a03 writer #ao3 #tmnt #httyd #master post #pinned post #tmnt au #dni #lgbt #trans #safespace #alterhumanity

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betterthantheywerebefore · 2 years

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This guy was a... Special case.

Long ago, potentially before the dawn of the millenium, my undiagnosed and unmedicated neurodivergences possessed me to cover this poor superhuman with PVA and absolutely douse him with grass flock. Why? It is a mystery lost to time.

A heavy soak in isopropyl and lots of picking away removed the uh, camoflauge. There he is! There’s that beautiful smile!

So I cut him into pieces.

With this guy, I wanted to test out methods of pinning and extending body parts. The way his legs would be extended would give him more of a Primaris look - not that I wanted to do this with each of my hundred marines, that would take far too long - but it was an important skill to be able to learn. I have pinned so many limbs since making this guy, it’s unreal.

I spent some time customising his gear to be a little more special, considering I was testing techniques, and so I pushed him in the direction of some manner of infiltration marine, armed with a long rifle. This would emulate the idea of disguise and stealth that I might have been going for when I covered him with flock (if I even had a reason) and so he received an eyepiece and a stealth kit conversion to his backpack, made from spare wire and some landing wheels from an ancient model plane.

Extensive putty work went into extending his legs and adding a cape. The legs came out nicely - again, a long process, not something I’ll repeat often - and with the cape, I wanted to use a wire skeleton to help pose it when it was made up of the putty. It turned out this was unnecessary. The putty held its shape fine, especially when left to cure a little, and it ended up being a rather thick cape. Nonetheless, it was still a useful set of lessons in materials and tools!

I added some battle damage and primed him - yes, he’s another victim of the cheap black primer before I got the good stuff - and the result is a little blotchy and thickly layered. In his case, however, I wasn’t too concerned. I was learning the limits of the materials with each model, and besides, the thick stippled look could be seen as a callback to his flocked days. At least, that’s what I’ll tell myself.

#Warhammer #40k #Conversion #Kitbash #Chaos

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calzonekestis · 2 years

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Having Thoughts and Feelings about Eddie Munson as someone who was probably neurodivergent but most certainly undiagnosed in the 80’s.

How he was probably just just written off as a lazy and a slacker.

When in fact he’s likely a fast learner - the topic just has to be something that holds his interest or is made interesting to him.

All his teachers probably gossip in the lounge after spring break, talking about the rumors surrounding his disappearance. They probably say they knew he had no discipline.

My mans learned how to play Master of Puppets in less than like 20 days of its release… but no discipline…

He never applied himself in any sort of “practical” way, they probably say.

They probably say that while “they be very particularly thought he’d amount to anything”, that they’re surprised by the allegations…

…but they don’t mourn him, not really. It’s tragic, a sad case, but it’s not really a big loss. Not compared to the likes of Chrissy or Fred or Patrick. They lived up to their potential, they had futures.

Yeah again I’m sad.

#stranger things #eddie munson

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myflowermylovemydear · 2 years

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Needing advice for senior year art project

Hi everyone. I’m looking for some advice/constrictive criticism/ just for someone else to read my work.

I’m at the end of my final year of high school and am creating an art project surrounding growing up undiagnosed autistic / my childhood / my experience with the world being neurodivergent. I’m mixing my own poetry with my childhood and family photographs. Below are some of the poetry i’ve written and am looking for some people to tell me if the work is at least decent! Thanks in advance :)

1. I want to experience it all again. I want to relive it all. The anger, resentment, freedom, hope and immaturity of a child. Is this just it?

2. I spent my childhood copying. I copied the way I stand, the way i walk. Every single thing about me down to the dot is a behavior i observed and learned. i did everything i could when i was younger to be as normal as possible, to avoid potential conflict and hurt. the final result of that was me not knowing myself.

3. through my mother, my mothers mother, and generations of women before, i have inherited experiences and trauma i have not seen. i have heartbreaks from 1856 and my ancestors forced femininity within my blood. i keep memories of childhood betrayal, and have been given the ancient form of ‘speaking with the eyes’. i hold their memories in my hands with anxiousness. i am looking for a way to free myself, to make my own memories and not relive the patterns of those before me. its so deeply imbedded into my mind that it has moulded into me. it’s a privilege to be handed these experiences, but sometimes i question wether they're truly meant for me.

4. what if....when i’ve healed......when i’ve put in all the work into being whole and content....what if i don’t like what i find? what do i do then?

5. i need someone older and wiser to tell me that i am good. that i will be forever happy from this moment forward. i need them to not judge me when i cry. i call out to the universe for that every day. maybe she’s listening?

6. i had a dream about you once. i dreamt that you held me. you kissed my cheeks that were covered in tears and told me you loved me. you moved the hair away from my face and lightly brushed my forehead. you hushed me with love and allowed me to sit in your arms in silence. you were myself. you were another piece of me.

7. i truly recognize nature and it’s ghosts - for they have seen it all. i apprehend the history it holds in beings as small as a centipede. even though a garden may look as simple as a plate of grass with a few trees a bushes, there’s overwhelming life within the perceived simplicity. we believe our lives to be far more intricate and important than an animals, but how would we know what they are thinking? for all we know their lives might be entangled with commitments and relationships, just like us. we are so driven by our perceived importance in this universe when in reality we are just bugs in the garden of a much larger entity. parasites even.

8. i know it’s not my fault. it’s not my fault that i’ll never fulfill every dream i’ve ever had, but still here i am, i am here just waiting for the tides to turn in my favour. my arms open and my eyes closed.

9.i fear that one day, one day, i will be ripped open from the inside. i will be on display and the world will see who i truly am. this will be the only time all earth will have it’s eyes on me. but these eyes will not show remorse.

10. i constantly flow through who i am and who i was. i am never not one of them. though i am trying to become the person i my future, it feels as if i am abandoning the little girl who so desperately wants to be seen.

that’s all the ones i need help with for now! please don’t steal any of my work and thank you again for reading!!

ps: i apologize if my spelling sucks hahah

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decentmonster · 3 years

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Realizing that I could tell that the door to an empty room behind my line of sight was open simply because I could hear that it was open has been one of the weirdest moments in terms of neurodivergency I've had today

#neurodiversesquad #neurodivergent #adhd #potentially undiagnosed autistic because most of my male relatives are diagnosed but I am afab #nd #sensory weirdness #not trying to self diagnose here tho #though i def have diagnosed adhd so its probably just that #gifted kid

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comicaurora · 2 years

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If you don't mind, what was your thought process behind the metal caste and their sparking mechanism as a race? And on a somewhat similar note... how do you work with the testier aspects of your world like ferin racism and slavery when writing as to treat it properly and not have your intent go haywite to your audience?

Oh cool, well, not to get heavy, but the concept of a Spark comes from my own personal experience in middle school, which as mentioned before was Not Good. I was undiagnosed neurodivergent and bullied nonstop for several years, and between that and a few other factors I basically had zero sense of personal agency or drive. I remember the exact moment I felt things click - we were at a camp for a week or so and the girls had deemed my clothes for the dance Deeply Uncool and "kinda jewish", whatever the fuck that meant, and had taken it upon themselves to give me a makeover, which included using a curling iron on my hair. They were having a cheerful conversation around me and not paying too much attention to their work, and I felt the iron's heat gradually go from "warm" to "painful" as it started to burn my scalp, and, like molasses, the thought very slowly occurred to me that I could tilt my head away ever so slightly to make it stop. It wasn't a flash of lightning or anything, but it started me on track to realizing that I had even the slightest hint of control over my life. As I recall, that very night it occurred to me for the first time that within a year I'd be out of that particular social morass and potentially even - god forbid - free to do shit I liked.

As for the spicier worldbuilding elements, I have a very basic perspective on these things: slavery, racism, exploitation, etc are unconditionally and unilaterally bad. I'm not subtle about this opinion. Every character we like shares this opinion whenever they have the chance. If people think I include things in my world only because I like and condone them, they should reread Alinua's explanation of the chimeric plague making toddlers die horribly, or the first chapter where the entire city gets murdered, or the bit where the evil dragon talks about wanting to destroy the world and eat the sun. I am not a subtle person, and when I put bad shit in my world, I do everything short of putting up a big neon sign that says "THE OPINIONS OF THE SHITTIEST PEOPLE IN THIS STORY ARE NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF THE OPINIONS OF ITS AUTHOR ON ACCOUNT OF HOW THEY SUCK SO BAD".

#asks #behind the curtain

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phoneybeatlemania · 2 years

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I was recently diagnosed with ASD and a few people were surprised cause Im not awkward when I talk to people. I'm very aware I could be projecting onto Paul but I find myself relating to him, like he seems to stim a lot in interviews. But then you dont need to be autistic to stim so who knows.

Discussion point: Paul & ASD

EDIT: Id recommend reading the response from @jeffreyrhymansss to this post (just look in the notes), since it gives far more insight into the psychology of autism then I could provide. Apologies about any misinformation I might've spread with this post, it was pure misguidance on my behalf. Not an excuse I know (I should be more cautious with this stuff) but just thought id clarify that I was never purposely being insensitive.

EDIT 2: id also like to just clarify though that I am all for discussions on Paul being neurodivergent - the same way that im all for discussions on John as having had a personality disorder. Im not personally convinced that Paul is autistic, but I think its plausible; ive just never read any in-depth and strong arguments for it, ive only come across brief speculations. I remain open to the idea of Paul being neurodivergent as a possibility, but id need to read a thorough and well-evidenced argument for the claim before really getting on board with it. Hope this cleared some things up :)

My mum is a bit like this - if you met her, it’s unlikely that you’d be able to tell that shes autistic because she’s quite low on the spectrum and interacts with people pretty confidently. Even my oldest brother didn’t know she’s autistic until last year, when I mentioned it in casual conversation and he was like “oh shit, that makes a lot of sense actually!!”. My point with mentioning all this is essentially that there are a lot of people (especially of Pauls generation) who are autistic, but just about pass for “normal” (used with some irony there, of course) enough to go undiagnosed, for varying reasons. And while you can usually tell if someone is on the autism spectrum, theres still a lot of people who learn throughout their childhood to mask their symptoms - and it becomes practically second nature. So you probably just wouldn’t know they were autistic, until you knew them quite intimately.

Personally, I don’t see tons of evidence to suggest that Paul is autistic - but there are stories here and there that make more sense (in terms of his behaviour) if you consider them within the context of him being somewhere on the spectrum. Its not a diagnosis I think you could build quite as strong a case for on, compared to something like John having BPD - still though, its plausible, its worth considering and its good to discuss it as possibility, since it could potentially help us in empathising with and understanding him.

On another note, I don’t actually think that projection is such a bad thing tbh. Its just a way of relating to and understanding these people; everybody projects to some degree, and while we should constantly try to question ourselves, saying “okay, but can I back this claim up with substantial and meaningful evidence? or is it pure projection?” - and I btw fully admit that im just as much prone to getting carried away with my analysis’s at times, so much so that they run into projection, as anyone else. I suppose still that projection is essentially just an unavoidable part of interpretation - and applying our own experiences onto our speculations can have the capacity to speak certain truths about (god i hate to use this phrase) ~the human experience~ (<<< blahhhhhhhhh) just be careful, and question yourself.

#look #im SORRY #for saying “the human experience”#i know pretentious guy in everyones english lit class uses that phrase to excess #but tbf #im fairly certain this is the first time ive used it on tumblr??#so i get a freebie on it ;)#paul mccartney #pauls psyche #autism #meta

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theoriesandanalysis · 3 years

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An analysis of ‘this is me trying’ by Taylor Swift

I was recently listening to this song for the millionth time and realised how this could be easily interpreted from the perspective of someone with undiagnosed ADHD and more specifically ‘the gifted burnout kid’. Throughout this post I am going to be highlighting the lyrics that I feel best fit this interpretation. This is my first ever lyric analysis so keep that in mind

I've been having a hard time adjusting I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting

In the beginning of the song, it talks about dealing with the difficulty of ‘adjusting’. When you look at the neurodivergent experience, people with ADHD feel the need to ‘mask’ their symptoms in order to fit in to society as they fear being rejected. It can be mentally draining to keep up the ‘mask’ and to constantly suppress your true emotions because of the shame that surrounds your ADHD tendencies.

The juxtaposition of ‘shiniest’ and ‘rusting’ show the transition that can happen for a person. Someone with ADHD can become so engrossed and hyper focused on an hobby till it no longer interests them anymore. They can begin new projects that eventually become unfinished or start a skill that they’ll never master. Speaking from personal experience, this can be so demoralising. Someone with undiagnosed ADHD can excel in school and be considered the ‘smart child’ until they reach college and suddenly hit a roadblock. Their coping mechanisms (caffeine addiction, cramming the night before, etc) don’t work anymore and the executive dysfunction becomes unbearable when you don’t have the support system you had as a child.

I just wanted you to know That this is me trying x2

In the chorus, there is the repetition of the phrase ‘this is me trying’. In my opinion, ADHD is one the most belittled conditions out there. There is the misconception that is a kid’s condition and you will eventually grow out of it. You’re told by your closest friends and family that ‘you just need to try harder’ and that ‘its not hard to focus’. You become convinced that you are lazy. The repetition emphasises that that is not the case.

They told me all of my cages were mental So I got wasted like all my potential

People with undiagnosed ADHD who did well in school are often expected to achieve great things later in life. It’s not until they reach university when they end up disappointing everyone in their lives when they surprise people for underachieving for the first time. The careers they were supposed to pursue and the path they were supposed to lead don’t end up the way they envisioned. Those opportunities become wasted and they don’t ‘reach their potential. Maybe they could if they get diagnosed with ADHD but sadly because of they often don’t fit the mould of a hyperactive person, they get misdiagnosed with anxiety or depression.

And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad

This could refer to the emotional dysregulation and struggling to deal with anger.

I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere Fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here

As a child, you become top of the class and do well at your classwork. You’re considered to be part of the gifted and talented. Before you know it, it’s like you’re reaching a plateau academically whilst also watching your classmates advancing but you’re at a standstill. Your mind is still great but the classwork that you have now requires a toolbox that you realise you never had ( organisation skills, executive function etc). You’re stuck essentially on the same curve with no help to break out of it.

Pourin' out my heart to a stranger

It’s hard to find someone who will relate to you. You find your experiences and feelings validated on the internet rather than your family who can’t understand.

And it's hard to be at a party When I feel like an open wound

The phrase ‘open wound’ obviously connotes pain. By the wound not being closed, it will always be painful. I think this could be related to rejection sensitive dysphoria.

Here is the definition:

Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is extreme emotional sensitivity and pain triggered by the perception that a person has been rejected or criticized by important people in their life. It may also be triggered by a sense of falling short—failing to meet their own high standards or others’ expectations.

This aspect of ADHD can make someone feel like they are in the depths of intense emotional pain for a prolonged amount of time. Because it causes hypersensitivity, it makes you ‘like an open wound’ as even the hint of disappointment in someone’s voice is enough to make your world go off balance. As a result, you either become a people pleaser or completely avoid social situations like a ‘party’ or risk getting hurt.

#taylor swift #lyric analysis #folklore #evermore #folklovermore #adhd #swifties #neurodivergent

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petewentzisblack1312 · 3 years

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saturday! and grand theft autumn (sorry, ik tttyg isn't your fav)

youre right but i still love her

saturday is THE undiagnosed neurodivergency anthem. like its just so many references to bein a lil shit that no one thinks is worth a damn with lyrics like "coasting on potential towards a wall at 100 miles an hour" and "im good to go and im going nowhere fast. could be worse, i could be taking you there with me" and theres obviously an air of 'i cant wait to leave this small town behind' except unlike most songs w that vibe, its genuinely hopeful. like its not about being desperate to leave somewhere old, its about being excited to find something new, with lyrics like "when i say 2 more weeks, my foot is in the door/i cant sleep in the wake of saturday/when these open doors are open ended" wherein open doors is like, opportunity. its like, you dont know whats coming, but boy are you excited for the chance! i love the sound of it too? like its so fun, carefree, its like. the most fall out boy song off tttyg. like they take moments to pull back and then come back full throttle, letting the wall of sound fall down and then building it back up, and its just. cute? cute feels wrong but also perfect. i love that they still close with it, even tho id love some of their other closers to get a moment to shine live. its just very much representative of them.

grand theft autumn is a single, which in my analysis lingo means "it bops but thats most of what it does". i generally have 2 scales for songs, one to check if its a good single, and one to judge it artistically and hollistically (for example, y&m is an amazing song artistically but sucks as a single, while ab/ap (song) is pretty meh artistically but a great single). that said, its also a good example of the whole "they know when to build up and when to pull back". the lyrics are very 'nice guy', im not gonna lie to ya, but god is it fun to sing along, and like. they got better. the composition and production makes this a real fun time to sing along to, with a lot of moving parts and moments to create tension/anticipation, and like as far as nice guy attitudes go its mostly some dude being like "look i know im a mess but he treats you like shit!!! cmon." which is like. he admits it at least.

#dils declares #we can have a little misogyny as a treat.#just a bit.#dils dissects #saturday #grand theft autumn #tttyg

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ichayalovesyou · 3 years

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Hey so from your blog I understand you are neurodivergent? Correct me if I'm wrong. If you are, sometimes I wonder if I have Asperger's Syndrome. When I look back on my childhood there are some questionable aspects that I got over, I think, but with a lot of effort. For example I used to watch the same movie over and over again till I had big chunks of it memorized and I played it in my head when I went to sleep? And I was obsessed with puzzles, I did and redid them many times. And lots of repetitive things. Also I don't know if I was just being sensitive or something, but I always cried at the tiniest disapproval of adults.

I'm sorry if this comes off as stereotypical, but those are things my peers found weird and not actually "normal" and it was pretty hard for me to get over them.

Lol I don't even know where this is going, I guess I'd like to see some insights from a neurodivergent person, because I've never had the chance to interact with one. How did you figure out you were neurodivergent? Can a person on the autism spectrum learn to communicate effectively with other people on their own? (because I think I can do that, but it's not always a pleasure haha).

Feel free not to respond to this, I don't want to bother, but you seem..... Approachable😂. I'm not one of those people who self-diagnose through an internet quiz and try to make themselves appear special....You know the ones. I'm genuinely curious haha. I'm probably fine, it would still be interesting to see your response. Thanks.

I’m going to be perfectly real with you

I do not have an official diagnosis for anything aside from “generalized anxiety” but I only got the chance (until very recently) to get therapy for a year.

But I do feel like there’s a difference between wanting to feel “special” and going into self-diagnosis territory half-cocked. And looking at your life, tallying up the evidence, making an educated guess, and then making an effort on finding out whether or not you’re guess is correct from a professional.

For instance, in my case (I’m about to get into “tragic” backstory stuff just to give a clear picture):

I come from an emotionally abusive situation in which, even when I had teachers, pediatricians or other moms suggest I (at the very least) had ADHD my mother got offended, denied it and insisted I was fine. In fact, the only way in which she has treated my as any sort of neurodivergent is the “generalized anxiety” diagnosis I got from the six months of therapy I got 7 years ago. Even then she uses it as a tool to invalidate my feelings. She never considered it may be a symptom rather than a source until my baby brother got diagnosed with autism.

My family has a loooooong history of autism/adhd and other mental illnesses, all of my siblings and cousins above the age of 3 have one or both, I also wouldn’t be surprised if my father has autism and my mother has ADHD even if they went undiagnosed from the same stigma that kept my mother from getting me help (and only getting my younger sibling help when essentially forced by the school system.)

It was only really when my brother exhibited behaviors and got an autism diagnosis (and my mother and I started reading up on the topic) that I realized just how many of my behaviors were associated with textbook autism. I looked at my baby brother and I saw myself, the biggest difference between us is that I was hyper verbal (talking a bit before 18 months) and he was totally nonverbal until he was almost three (both of which, are symptoms of autism) that I really considered the possibility. Even my mother suggested I may be right, better late then never I guess.

I exhibit many of the exact behaviors you describe that are associated with both adhd and autism, I lined up toys, I drew the same picture on one sheet over and over. I take comfort in compulsively watching movies and shows over and over, I (for lack of a better words) stim sing and use movie quotes and references as eccholalia as stress relievers (especially in new social situations). I cried at the drop of a hat, when I was angry I’d repeatedly hurt myself by banging my head and arms against the myself or walls. I also do the “happy flappy arms” when I’m excited or nervous, I have a special interest in writing and making music (I have a hard time thinking about pretty much anything else). I had lots of trouble socially until about high school and none of my friends are neurotypical (or straight lol). So, I think it’s safe to say that I am either on the spectrum, have ADHD (which exhibits a lot of similar symptoms).

When I found this out, I started treating myself like I had these things instead of beating myself up for being “weird” and my mental health improved significantly. Mind you, it’s still not great because I am not (yet) in therapy and live in an overcrowded, emotionally abusive household, but I am making concerted efforts to remedy both. I’ve got my first therapy session in almost a decade arranged for next week and plan on moving in with another, less crowded, less abusive parent.

The best thing I can suggest is, read up on what you think you may have, look at the symptoms, compare them to you’re own, write it down, write how you feel about it. But more importantly read other people’s experiences with autism and ADHD, while medical professionals can help you get access to diagnosis and (if you need it) medication, sometimes the personal aspects get lost in the machine. At the same time of course be careful who you listen to, there are a lot of organizations and people out there who want to “help” by trying to force us to act “normal”, acting neurotypical does NOT equal living to enjoying your life to its fullest potential. On the flipside there of course people out there with and without diagnosis that will promote unhealthy thinking patterns and coping mechanisms, you’ve got to think critically and decide what is best for you.

Not all of us can get therapy, not all of us will get diagnosed even if we do, especially if you’re AFAB and have autism, or if you’re “well behaved” (ie pass as neurotypical) we slip through the cracks all the time. Try to get therapy anyway, a diagnosis can be really helpful (but in the case of autism it can also be detrimental because of the sheer amount of ableism around it, again, read other people’s experiences).

It’s okay to act on the idea that something is wrong, you know when something isn’t right with you, not even your parents can define that for you (I learned that the hard way). As long as you don’t wallow in it, operating under the assumption you have autism and/or adhd, using the tried and true coping mechanisms, being gentle with yourself, can be very, very helpful.

Hope this helped <3 💚🖖🏻💚

#personal log #serious post #ask ichayalovesyou #adhd #autism #autism self-help #self advocacy #tw emotional abuse #believe yourself when your body tells you you’re not fine #believe it #autism/adhd #self help #get therapy #but be careful #critical thinking #self love #advice

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invertabeeb · 3 years

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Can you tell us more about Luxo and Tenne?

:-)!!!! I Have Many Luxo Thoughts...

Luxo is just a horrible woman who wants to shatter reality because she is spiteful and I made her when I was 11 <3 and i refuse to change too much of her “backstory” and “motivations” because i think the comedic potential of Serious Edgy Black Hole Character existing in that world with the King of Arizona and Factory as a whole is VERY good.

There’s a lot that needs context but in short! Luxo is from a universe that no longer exist, and spent an indeterminate time being somewhere that did not exist before being shunted back into Reality, which would be where the actual Story takes place! This is caused by Interdimensional Worm Shenanigans and also the fact that i often rewrite, merge, or separate the stories or universes ive made :-) and i think thatse fun

The Universe Which No Longer Exists is based off whatever daydream world i had from ages 9 thru 12, and was Edgy Sci-Fi ish World where Luxo hated everyone because she just Could Not Behave Correctly or Talk To People And Fit In and she sees herself as an irredeemably horrible and evil person and just... Started To Lean Wayyy Into It! (its the undiagnosed neurodivergency) two emotions and it is MAD and HUNGRY. ghfkjlgdfs,... also she has Powers and Abilities which are not very well defined right now because i just do not remember but whats important is that she can eat drywall and be fine. and she MIGHT be able to manipulate gravity a little bit.

shes just kinda exists in dreamland now and goes >:-0 because some parts are really really similar to how it was before, But It’s Never Quite Right. there are people that she Knew that are no longer the same person but they Are! and its Weird and she Hates It and Luxo is probably having a breakdown but like, very slowly.

Tenne has less developed abt them rn bc, i simply cannot remember anything abt them and i just Havent Really Developed them as much ! :pensive: emoji... basically Tenne is a 9 year old that Luxo found in the woods in indigo and went. well what the fuck is this???? she uses them for directions to arizona so she may attack people there <3 a 9 year old just hanging out wherever is Not Really A Concern in dreamland bc, man, theres just a lot of Silly Cartoon Logic and Floating Malevolent Cubes and so on.... they just do not care and nobody else does either

Tenne has both the abilities of a light bulb and of the average 9 year old. these include, Glowing, being Made of Glass, and Psychic Attacks. they also like ballet and video games :-)

#sid's funny art #my ocs #ms paint #daisy in dreamland #ALSO I JUST REMEMBERD I HAD DRAWINGS I NEVER POSTED OF LUXO AND JUPITER GIVE ME A SEC #i am sorry if this does not give you the information you desire i am funny adhd #feel free 2 send More Specific Asks if you have any :-D!!!#Anonymous #oc: luxo #oc: tenne

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mcrmadness · 3 years

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Thinking about friendships and relationships and human relations from the point of view of a neurodiverse person. I’d love to know if other neurodiverse people have similar experiences!

I often compare my perception to what is typical for The Sims games. To anyone who hasn’t played The Sims games, and simply put: every sim has a relationship panel. It has a bar from -100 to +100 (with or without numbers) and depending on a game, it can have another bar for romantic interactions. A sim gets more points mutually when they interact with someone and they both agree on it; both lose points if they do mean interactions or the other one dislikes or disagrees with something your sim just said or did. Sims also lose points from simply not interacting. Eventually you get a pop-up message saying “X is no longer friends with Y” because you didn’y hand out enough together.

And the point of this post is that I don’t know if I have just played The Sims games so much (Over the half of my age, I started when I was 10, got my own copy of the first The Sims when I was 12 and I’m 29 now and still love playing these games.) or if this just is how I see my own “relationship panel” as neurodivergent (undiagnosed ADHD; also a highly sensitive person aka hsp).

Sometimes this just is extremely difficult for me because I have time blindness and I don’t even realize how long it’s been since I talked with people, and with some people it feels that there can be months and years between an interaction and nothing changes. And then there’s people with whom I constantly have this nagging feeling at the back of my head that feels like this The Sims 3 pop-up message “X is no longer your friend but now you are just acquaintances because you didn’t interact enough”. And it’s really exhausting actually. To feel like “okay we are still friends but are we though?”, and my head is just full of questions like “Are we STILL friends?” and “Has there been too much time since the last interaction?” and RSD does not help here at all, because when it sees something, like another friend mentioned, it comes out like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum because I feel like now I have been replaced, now we have interacted too little, now they have a new friend because they interacted more than what we did. It feels like a constant “competition” in someone else’s relationship panel. This doesn’t happen as much with people who I am more like... still acquaintances with. But the moment we become friends, I start to feel like I have to do so much work to not lose that friend badge from the relationship panel and it’s extremely hard when I’m like this and other people have lives. I basically start to stress it that I will lose this friend because of time. And because of my time blindness. Actually it feels that the time blindness makes the “system” detect that we’re no longer friends, I still have the feeling that we’re friends but I’m afraid that it’s no longer mutual because there’s been too much time since the last interaction, just because my brain has built its relationship panel system around a damn video game!

And I have the exact same plus and minus points thing going on. If we disagree - minus points. If we agree - plus points! And if there’s too much disagreeing, the friend badge will be removed. But unlike with sims, I feel like those minus points are always permanent and that the relationship bar will get glitched and can never reach the full potential anymore after too many minus points.

So just wondering, does the neurodiversity and time blindness affect the way you see friendships and relationships? And I’m not asking this to myself but from everyone else because in my case it’s clear that it does affect it, but what about YOU as a person?

#mcrmadness' deep thoughts #human relationships are hard #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #adhd #adhd inattentive #autism #asperger's syndrome #(I have a diagnose from Asperger's but I don't really relate to it. I feel that I'm just hsp and ADD rather than autistic.)#(Plus I feel that the doctors were too sloppy when they gave me that diagnose...)

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airlock · 4 years

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so, folks, having put a great deal of time into staring at the dining hall menu on Fire Emblem: Three houses, I decided to attempt a fun little exercise: what if I set about putting together a list of what my dislikes, neutrals and likes from the list would be if I were attending Garreg Mach?

and see... due to my presently undiagnosed neurodivergence, I have a hypersensitive palate, as well as a hypersensitivity to textures. I have been described by sufficiently rude people as “difficult to feed”. if y’all have seen and remember that one post where you tally up everything you would eat and get a higher score the less of a picky eater you are, well, I scored like a two or a four on that. so, y’know... this is going to be fun y’all

The Wretched Food Sins (dislikes)

Beast Meat Teppanyaki, Pickled Rabbit Skewers, Gronder Meat Skewers, Garreg Mach Meat Pie

see, I’m just going to get this one out of the way immediately: I don’t like red meat. when I tell people that, their first assumption is usually that I’m a vegan or avoiding the shitload of growth hormones or whatever, but no, I still eat some other types of meat and health is obviously not a priority in my diet; I just find that red meat tastes and feels something awful. we clear? we clear.

Onion Gratin Soup

(Onions stewed with white trout and baked with a layer of cheese on top. Will warm you up from the inside out.)

onions I’m also not very fond of. when they’re used for flavor, they’re normally used in small enough amounts to be safely ignored, but here it seems that the idea is to eat whole baked onions off a soup, like... is that a thing that human people do with the single lives that they have??

Country-Style Red Turnip Plate

(A balanced meal including red turnip and verona stew, red turnip salad, and sautéed red turnip with garlic.)

just not sure about this one; I mean, it’s not that I actually recall ever eating a turnip, or that a “verona” is a real vegetable that I can compare to any extant thing... I just don’t think I’ve ever had a good time attempting to eat a plateful of vegetables and I don’t have much faith that the monastery cantina is breaking new ground there

Vegetable Stir-Fry

(A dish of dried tomatoes, cabbage, chickpeas and other vegetables, stir-fried with egg. Nutritious and very filling.)

I might just be mixing up terms, but if I understand correctly, I’ve never heard of stir-frying before. it sounds like a cool thing, though! I do love the the idea of using egg as a base for this, too! it’s a pity that they then proceed to pick nothing but ass ingredients for the entire rest of this particular recipe

Fish and Bean Soup

(A soup made by simmering white trout and chickpeas. A simple yet wholesome dish.)

sorry, head chef, beans are a horrific mouthfeel and you cannot and will not convince me that a dish featuring them is uwu wholesome

Pickled Seafood and Vegetables

(A Dagdan dish of raw fish and turns pickled in a vinegar-based seasoning liquid. Rarely eaten in Fódlan.)

so, I’ve actually had the idea for this post quite a ways ago, and one of the very first things I had in mind was the precise burn I was going to deliver unto the smell of vinegar. right? thing is, it’s been so long since then that the anedocte I was going to use as a delivery vector for that burn has since taken a dark turn. it won’t really be worth the while to unpack it at this point, so I’ll just skip to the punchline: the smell of vinegar is indistinguishable from the smell of dog piss

Cabbage and Herring Stew

(Cabbage and Albinean Herring stewed whole. The fish guts lend this hearty dish a superbly bitter kick.)

ew, what the hell? what sort of florida man recipe is this? “oh, let’s stew some fish, but make sure the entirety of its intestines are stewing in there so that the final product can punch you in the mouth with bitterness”. what? who’s that supposed to appeal to? I can understand this being one of Hubert’s favorite meals but why would absolutely anyone else do this to themselves? and it’s with this demon fodder here that we finish the hell section on an absolutely burning note and proceed to...

The Purgatory of Eh, I Guess, Maybe (neutral)

Pheasant Roast with Berry Sauce

(Well-roasted Fódlan pheasant drizzled with a berry reduction sauce.)

we’re getting somewhere; poultry is like, 80% of the protein in my diet, and sweetness is precisely the only flavor I can tolerate in major excess. alas, in gastronomy, one plus one doesn’t always make two; I’m not sure this combination here works or just clashes frontally

Vegetable Pasta Salad

(Pasta with a blend of fresh vegetables from various regions of Fódlan. This popular dish sells out almost instantly.)

we’re out of the hated food list, but that doesn’t mean you’re safe yet from listening to me maw about foods that are supposed to be super common!

you know how I prefer to take my pasta? over water, butter or olive oil with absolutely no sauce. additional seasoning also needs not apply, although salt is welcome. fun fact: my ideal instant noodle is cooked with only a small amount of flavoring powder. so yeah, there you have it, that’s the “hey guys I eat bread with nothing in it and have a good time” moment of the jour

but back to the point -- how does this particular pasta measure up? well, I took a look at the in-game model of it and it appears to pass the most important bar: no sauce -- or, at least, if there was any, it was thick and yellow and it made a fool of me. anyways, I might not particularly dig some of the vegetables thrust into the pasta here, but the beauty of it is that I can probably pick and choose which ones I will actually eat, which makes this a solid ehhh it’s solvable

Fruit and Herring Tart

(A baked tart with stewed herring and Noa fruit mixed into the batter. Popular in Enbarr, the Imperial Capital.)

again, I don’t object to the components but I’m not sure about it all adds together. is that a real thing, like, putting a god damn fish into your fruit pie mix?

Fish Sandwich

(A simple dish. Airmid Cabbage is pickled in vinegar and served with cabbage between two slices of bread.)

a fish sandwich plain and simple, I would happily chow down; fish is the other one of my acceptable meats, after all. thing is, as non-domestic sandwiches usually do, this one comes with a bunch of add-ons that I absolutely do not want and it’s hard to tell how much can be salvaged. like, there’s old man vinegar/piss again, and besides, I swear I’ve eaten leaves off the ground that had better texture than cabbage. so, like, can we go even simpler, head chef? bread, fish, and no wicked ideas?

Spicy Fish and Turnip Stew

(Spicy stew made with Teutates loach and turnips. The monastery’s unique recipe features spices from Dagda.)

come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a stew. if it’s very much like a soup, then it might have as much of an annoying texture as one, but if it’s just a soggy filet, then that might work out. anyway, between that and the non-specification of what those spices from Dagda are intended to do with the recipe, I’d have to taste it to believe it

Super-Spicy Fish Dango

(A light snack, popular in the Empire. Small, spicy balls of fried dough packed with white trout and dried tomato.)

ugh, that was so close. fried dough and fish sounds AMAZING, it really does. but the first strike here is “super-spicy”; I did mention having a hypersensitive palate, yes? now add that to the fact that I’m white. the real crushing sin here, however, is the inclusion of fucking tomato. we were so close to greatness! we were this close! anyways, depending on how exactly the dried tomato is meant to be implemented here, it might be possible to just pull it out with a fork and accept the mouth-hurting substances in a bid to have a good time anyway

Sweet and Salty Whitefish Sauté

(Whitefish is coated in spices and sautéed with dried tomatoes to bring out an addictive salty-sweet flavor.)

tomatoes again! seriously, you creeps keep throwing that in with one of my sole acceptable approaches to meat! although fortunately, I gather that, with this one, the goal is not for the tomatoes to be eaten, just popped on the juice that this fish is jumping around in while it roasts, so maybe there’s salvation for it yet... I do want to find out whatever in the world an “addictive salty-sweet flavor” is supposed to mean, admittedly

Sautéed Pheasant and Eggs

(Thin slices of bird meat and shredded cabbage, mixed with scrambled eggs and sautéed with spices. Invention of a certain noble.)

again, we broke it right at the finish line. I like the idea of a pile of chicken strips and scrambled eggs; would have some fun digging through it and all. alas, Alfred von Certain Noble had to go and throw cabbage into the mix. at least, maybe, if it’s shredded, then the awful texture is eliminated and that makes it straight-up just eating some leaf? it might be sufficiently non-intrusive

Gautier Cheese Gratin

(A gratin of bird meat topped with heaps of Gautier cheese, which is famous for its low fat content. It has a unique flavor.)

I... do I want to know what “unique flavor” this is? because chicken gratined with cheese sounds good, but you could potentially go wrong with the type of cheese, and the fact that this apparently counts as a bitter dish doesn’t leave me particularly hopeful...

Small Fish Skewers

(Made by grilling skewered Airmid gobies. With a muddy flavor and dry texture, this dish is beloved by few.)

okay, yeah, “muddy flavor and dry texture” isn’t exactly the sales pitch of the year, but these sound like reasonably ignorable things in favor of what would just be grilled fish on a skewer with no more of those terrible nonsense ideas like adding some fucking tomato

Fried Crayfish

(Fried and breaded Caledonian crayfish. Looks much tastier than it actually is.)

looks are all we have to go by here, but besides that, intsys, you’ll have a lot of labor to do if you want to convince me that a fried and breaded anything isn’t good if it’s not, like, inherently ass as an ingredient. what keeps this one from reaching the heavens is most likely not the taste or the feel itself, but mostly just the fact that I’m probably allergic to shrimp

The Blessed And Divine (likes)

Saghert and Cream

(A baked confection coated with Noa fruit cream and a currant reduction, often enjoyed as a dessert at family gatherings.)

first, I have to get this much out of the way: does anyone know what the hell a saghert even is? cursory searching has only led me to results about Fire Emblem, so it might be a made-up word altogether...

... that said, the aforementioned cursory searching has also brought me to this blog where I got to see someone’s idea of what the thing would be in real life, and the result is definitely something I’d want in my mouth, stomach, and soul, so there we go!

Sweet Bun Trio

(Traditional pastries from Faerghus, known for their subtle sweetness. The dough is made with eggs and sugar.)

is this supposed to be like sweetbread or like, dumplings, which might actually be made with eggs and sugar...? oh, who am I kidding, I’d scarf the hell out of either one. and hey, no need to be subtle with the sweetness, either!

Peach Sorbet

(A sorbet made with thin slides of magically frozen peach, dusted with bean flour.)

o, ice cream... I have a rather layered relationship with that one. I’m never one to turn down plain desserts, least of all when tradition also permits me to dump six layers of whatever the hell else to (sweetly) spice it up, but the hypersensitivity in my mouth also extends to temperatures, and ice cream is normally and understandably served in very low ones. I usually try eating when it’s, like, nearly melting or already melting... but is that even on the table if we’re talking about pre-refrigeration ice cream made with very strangely applied magic? thoughts to mull over. but I won’t let them get in the way of yum, ice cream

Daphnel Stew

(Minced poultry and onions boiled with salt. The simple recipe lets high-quality ingredients speak for themselves.)

simplicity goes a long way, as usual! again, I have no idea how a stew tastes, but again, poultry is pretty much the backbone of my diet, and I suppose it doesn’t sound objectionable to take it soaked in saltwater. at least, if I’m presuming that the onions are there for flavoring the stock and not once more for the absurd suggestion that I should be eating them whole

Deirdriu-Style Fried Pheasant

(Pheasant meat pounded flat and fried. Can be served as a sort of sandwich, with cheese between two strips of meat.)

holy shit this sounds great. like, I want this in real life, especially the whole pseudo-sandwich arrangement. I’m optimistically assuming that we’re picking a decent type of cheese and not, like, cheddar, but that's really the only possible stumbling block

Grilled Herring

(Herring caught off the coast of Albinea, shredded and grilled in an earthenware pot with sliced turnips.)

I’ve expressed not being familiar with the taste of turnips, but even if I hate those too, it sounds like it’s pretty easy to ignore them here in favor of what’s just some shredded and grilled fish, which hits the spot

Fisherman’s Bounty

(Freshly-caught fish are cut into chunks and stewed together to make this hearty dish.)

right, so I’m not actually 100% sure about this one, if only because the model of the dish appears to contain some unidentifiable bits of disgusting red whatever, but if the description alone covers it, this just seems to be plain and nice

Two-Fish Sauté

(Two types of fish are cut into strips and sautéed in butter. This lavish meal hails from Enbarr, the Imperial Capital.)

and this sounds similarly plain and nice, but also even better, because the sautéeing in butter sounds like a great addition. now we’re finally on the right track with regards to fish meals! keep the red devil testicle fruits away from those!

Bourgeois Pike

(A gourmet dish with Airmid Pike, vegetables, and a sprinkle of expensive spices. Popular among nobles.)

the punchline writes itself, doesn’t it? but don’t get me wrong -- while I haven’t grown up wanting for money, being bourgeoisie is just what my family wishes were the case.

as for the meal itself: the in-game model appears to be just fish filet, served without any gross sauce, so I’ll happily take it, as long as this “sprinkle of expensive spices” isn’t doing anything too janky in there. ... but hey, most expensive things exist primarily for the purpose of being janky, so maybe I’m being too optimistic

Sautéed Jerky

(Jerky aged in the monastery and sautéed for a delightfully salty flavor. A perfect snack to go with your favorite drink.)

my first instinct was to throw this right onto the undesirable meat section because it’s jerky, but apparently, this is poultry jerky? I’ve never heard of such a thing existing, but I need to try it sometime. for now, I’ll just assume it’s as good as it sounds

so, there you have it! it seems that quite a bit more of this menu is edible than I would have expected? or perhaps I’m just being very optimistic, since I’m not face-to-face with whatever offputting smells and textures I could potentially be dealing with here

#my stupid text posts #Fire Emblem is tagged in this post #Fódlan FE is tagged in this post

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