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#its kinda hard to see that the person who seems the most stable
gatorbites-imagines · 7 months
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Maybe The Narrator, Tyler and Male Reader as like a lil throuple or something? it can be anything idm🙏
Jack “The Narrator” x Tyler Durden x male reader
Relationship headcanons I guess?
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I love this gif,,,, whys he wearing his pants like that? who does he want to grab his hips like that, men???
Tyler is a real person in this universe, cuz it’s easier to write.
How tf did you bag not one mentally ill delusional guy, but two? Honestly, hats off to you. Cuz either you have to be just as unstable as them, or be weirdly too stable to even out their crazy.
So, depending on which, Tyler might not even pull off project mayhem if you are there to reel him in like a rabid Pomeranian wearing one of those full body harnesses.
Jack on the other hand just has so much insomnia it makes him kinda crazy, cuz not sleeping for a long time will drive you insane. Get this guy some sleeping meds, a noise machine, a weighted blanket and some of those melatonin gummies.
If you first start dating them after they start fight club, maybe you even met them there cuz one of your coworkers invited you, they’d still be kinda delulu and out for blood this time around.
Jack seems like he falls fastest, but Tyler falls hardest. You either deck both of them into the ground because its your first night at fight club, or they deck you and think you look so handsome with a bloody nose.
They’d keep circling you at fight club every week, in the beginning Tyler only does it cuz Jack likes you, and maybe Tyler is a little jealous you are taking his friends attention. At some point you’d be invited to their place.
Damn bitch, yall live like this? You try to be polite about it, but its kinda clear they live in a shithole. Screw Tyler’s whole, not owning anything and rejecting modern needs, you need a functioning shower and cable tv.
If Tyler bitches too much about your preferences, you just only invite Jack over, which has Tyler reeling too. So, whilst you are on the couch with an arm around Jack, Tyler can sit on his weirdly soggy mattress and pout.
I think we can all agree that Tyler would be jealous and possessive very easily, think a dog that seems chill, maybe a little hyper, but then snarling and snapping at anyone who comes near you or Jack. You are his, and his alone, so everyone else can stay away.
Jack is jealous and possessive too, but he’s less obvious about it, to others at least. You can tell from the way he glares or clenches his jaw, or how he bites a bit too hard when he makes hickeys on either you or Tyler.
Again, you are the most mentally stable out of all three of you, so you don’t get jealous that easily, compared to them. But that also means when you do get jealous, it has both Tyler and Jack climbing the walls, because its so hot to them.
Especially if you had to fight someone because they kept coming onto either of them, seeing you with a sneer and a bloody fist immediately has both these dudes feeling all types of hot under the collar.
Tyler is definitely a sloppy kisser. He kisses like he fights, overpowering and controlling, bites at your lips a bit too hard and grips the back of your neck and only let’s go when he’s gotten his fill.
For Jack it depends on how he’s feeling, if he’s feeling alright, he’s got the more normal kisses, maybe even just pecks. But if he’s wound up, jealous, or sleep deprived its more like how Tyler kisses.
But kissing them is also your best distraction method if either of them are getting a little too out there. Kissing or like, scruffing them or wrestling them a bit. Just keep in mind the last two most likely lead to something more.
Tyler is a blanket hog, whilst also somehow filling the bed as much as possible. Stretches out all his limbs, or keeps scooting closer to you and jack until you two are pressed up against the wall, whilst Tyler has the rest of it.
Jack is sticky when he sleeps, that meaning he’s hanging onto you. Got both arms and both legs wrapped around you, head on your chest to listen to your heartbeat cuz it helps him sleep. Sleeping between these two is hell in the summer.
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hwnglx · 5 months
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Hiii can I ask you how the riize members are feeling after seunghan was forced to go in a hiatus? Thank youuu
how do riize feel about seunghan's hiatus?
based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!
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okay, remember i solely focused on the members' emotions here, so in general the energy is very messy. each member's feelings are pretty complicated and different, also a lot of it is surpressed, so much caution around what they express and what they keep to themselves. they seem to be walking on egg shells, esp when faced with the company, just having no choice but to accept whatever decision is made. you gotta remember they just debuted and are afraid of messing up by voicing their opinion impulsively. so they're just kinda nodding at everything, i feel like.
shotaro 10ofp, pagofw&lovers+kingofw, 7ofp, aceofp, 10ofc
his priority is in the future and stability of the group.. you can tell he's the oldest just by his mindset, and the fact that many big decisions seem to be made by him. i can tell his previous experience helps him a lot in giving the newly debuted and more insecure members a push in confidence and braveness. he's encouraging them and trying to establish an attitude focused on hard work and patience, but also really wanting to keep the group in harmony. it's pretty interesting, because i literally can't see any glimpse of seunghan in here? he doesn't consider him much and believes if his hiatus is what had to happen for the group to get to a successful and stable place, then so be it. not much emotional attachment to the situation, very driven and work-focused mindset for him.
eunsok 4ofsw, 5ofsw, 9ofsw, 10ofsw, 7ofp, knofp
okay, he's definitely one of the more affected members. seunghan's hiatus seemed to have driven him to an anxious and tense state full of doubts, i can see him constantly worrying about the ways in which the negativity of the scandal could affect them. he felt pretty helpless, like he couldn't really do anything other than watching everything happen. there were different stages of emotion for him, from hopelessness to anxiety to feeling like this was a significant "rock bottom" moment for them. however, the 10 of swords is the last card of its suit (plus it transitioned in this spread starting from the 9 of swords), so things seem to have slowly moved up again considering the pentacles i got afterwards. i previously got the seven of pentacles for shotaro as well, so it seems like they're trying to just believe in the power of hard work and remain patient, believe in the process. there's this sense of optimism now, where they try to hold on to the belief that this might be beneficial in the long run.
sungchan 5ofp, moon, devil&10ofc, kingofc
phew, the situation messed him up for sure. i feel like he's especially stressed about the amount of things happening without him knowing. it seems like he didn't know about the things seunghan was doing. a lot of deception here.. he feels wronged and definitely blaming him here, thinking he was an idiot for spoiling the group in such a reckless and selfish manner. (no offense, that's what i'm picking up.) like i can tell he hates how the scandal affected the group's mood and harmony, he seems to be someone who truly values this collective feeling of contentment, wants everyone to be happy. he's someone very emotionally intelligent and mature though, so he's focused on being the bigger guy in this situation. (he's still the one arguing the most tho. like, stepping up and talking the most.) not sure if he's the leader, i don't know much about the group in general, but it seems like his mood has huge impact on the group's dynamic, which he's aware of. so he's trying to be the strong shoulder to lean on, though deep inside i can sense a lot of frustration.
wonbin strength, judg, moon, 2ofsw, 6ofp, queofc, fool, 10ofc, tower&justice
so much major arcana, seems to be the most emotional one out of all them, very big feelings. it's very messy. i think he himself gets confused and overwhelmed by his emotions a lot. the scandal really stirred things up in him. it especially made him look back on himself a lot. i can tell wonbin is someone very focused on upholding a clean and faultless image, he cares a lot about what people think. so in a way, he believes seunghan was just being idiotic and immature. he thinks his band member should've been more responsible in what he does, since he's an idol now, and the result is just a cause of his impulsive actions. still, he seems to be the only member who actually genuinely felt bad for seunghan (like i'm not gonna lie, most of them don't care much about him and primarily about themselves 😬) and let him know he's there for him. i can see him hugging seunghan.
sohee aceofp&6ofsw&8ofp, aceofc, knofp&8ofc
more than anything, sohee sees the situation as a new beginning for them. making the transition from the ace of pents to the 8 of pents, he believes it made them work even harder, putting in twice the effort, making sure the negativity of the situation doesn't stand in their way. it's almost like it gave him a push of motivation? the six of swords does have a bittersweet undertone, putting a member on hiatus wasn't his most ideal outcome. but idk, i can just see him trying to see the good side of it all. the eight of cups is kinda similar here, since it also indicates leaving something behind for the better. however, cups represent emotion. combined with the knight of pentacles, he's ready to leave behind what doesn't serve him anymore, or in this case a member who's continuously had "bad" influence on the group, despite there being certain emotions tied to him. he isn't over the moon happy, but at the end of it all, he thinks this was the right decision for the group's trajectory and their careers. anton moon&sun, 5ofw&star, queofsw&justice
anton is the third member i got the moon for, so they definitely felt lost and confused on how to deal with everything. a scandal happening so early in their career caused them to feel pretty insecure and uncertain. with the moon, there's also a sense of hiddenness. i can just tell communication is on the more difficult side for this group, since they're still getting to know each other. (i can see sungchan being the most vocal one, and the rest just kinda watching him shout?) anton is another member who felt a lot, thought a lot, but didn't really know how to express it, or how much to reveal. the five of wands definitely reveals a lot of conflict, external and internal. however the sun and the star card following the two negative ones, is a good indicator. he was able to avert his focus on his own goals and dreams. "he did it to himself, whatever." is the vibe i get. anton doesn't care much about things unless they concern himself, i will say. he seems like the type to believe in karma, so he doesn't really feel bad for seunghan persé, since he just should've known better in his eyes. he's just trying to move on from it without letting it affect him emotionally.
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simlicious · 1 year
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I am not posting much atm, here is why
heya, I'm pretty quiet on the posting front at the moment. This has several reasons. Since this might come across as a bit whiny, feel free to skip this personal ramble.
The good stuff first: I made a pact with my best friend and now we take a long walk together every week to increase our fitness levels. It encourages me to leave the house and get some fresh air and be in nature and it feels very good! We actually did a lot more together in the last months than just the walk, so I am quite busy and also often exhausted from the activity. I have also gotten back into Anno 1800 now that the game has reached its final state, and I am fixing some old mods that are not available anymore but I cannot live without, and I am also working on some of my own mods. The reason why I am taking a break from making patterns has mainly to do with the negative feelings I developed in the last months. I have been putting off writing this post for weeks, but my feelings have not gone away and I want to address this particular issue. Tbh, I often get aggravated when viewing my dash these days. I'm not the most emotionally stable person and my self-worth comes also from external sources, like feedback for my patterns, which is not ideal, but it is what it is right now. Lately, I feel that as a creator of recolorable patterns, I am being pushed deep into a corner. I've always considered myself a niche creator, catering to patterns kinda does that! But I feel like I am becoming obsolete, now that a lot of creators only make Sims 4 conversions and are usually not fully recolorable. I also fear that more and more creators will forget/will never learn how to make clothes and objects recolorable if all they do is add non-recolorable Sims 4 presets. I consider the Create-A-Style tool to be the most important feature of TS3 (together with open worlds). It is such a unique feature, and it breaks my heart to see that not being valued as such. I feel like we should celebrate that, and I try to with my patterns, but it's just so hard to keep it up when most creators do not seem to particularly care anymore. I wish more creators would make the good old Frankenmeshes 😥 I would love to see more ts3 and ts4 frankenmesh mashups. Creators would need to learn how to turn Sims 4 textures into greyscale ones and step up their uv-mapping game a bit, and then it could be a thing... There could even be an open library of recolorable sims 4 textures and remapped meshes that all creators could contribute to. That way, creators could use them and would not need to remake every texture from scratch by themselves. Over time, that would greatly decrease the effort that would need to be put in to make new creations this way... I know that most of you follow me because you really value my patterns and use them in your games, and I know that people who play mainly with vanilla content won't have that problem at all, as 99% the EA stuff can be recolored. But it's just that I see those non-recolorable conversions everywhere on my dash, and it is so disheartening. I guess as a creator, I want to feel welcome in the TS3 creator community, and lately, I do not feel particularly seen or valued as a member of that group. Maybe my Tumblr bubble has shoved me somewhat outside of the group that I would feel more valued in? Maybe I need to adjust my dash. But I do not want to unfollow everyone who posts these conversions. They are nice in their own right, it's just that I can't handle them very well right now. How do you deal with stuff that you do not want to see? do you unfollow people, do you block tags? I've been mostly avoiding my dash, but that does not seem like a good solution. If you post gameplay pics with my patterns or are a creator that makes their stuff CAS-Tool compatible, feel free to tell me below so I can follow you. Just seeing more people use my patterns would probably lift my spirits!
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sl-ut · 3 months
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Working for Neil or at naughty dog seems like a mess like their work-life balance and pressure are horrendous on top of him already being a zionist of all things its just disappointing because they all seem to care about the games and characters and feel emotionally invested in them even if they don't see them or the story the way he does it's just disappointing tbh I feel sorry for a lot of them because like thats your boss but also it makes me wonder like how many people there agree with him too especially in the upper senior levels of employment idk I have mixed feelings about the whole thing because I appreciate people like the actors who work there but we obviously can't and don't wanna line his pockets the whole thing is just frustrating
i 100% get what you're saying. realistically, we can't expect everyone to just quit their jobs when they really can't afford to do so. and ik there's the argument of "i would wanna quit and find somewhere else to work," but 99% of the people who are saying these things haven't had to alter their lives over what's happening in gaza at all. putting yourself in debt is helping absolutely no one, and besides, if everyone quits their jobs all at once, there will be literally no jobs on the market. if you have personally chosen to quit your job bc you're confident enough that you're going to get a new one right away and/or are financially stable enough that you and your family will be able to survive for a good little while until things settle, that's on you. do not start harassing the college students working at the local starbucks over this, bc for the most part, they're just trying to get by. privilege has become a very prominent issue in westerners who are concerned about palestine, and i think it's fucking disgusting personally. i feel like the higher ups in naughty dog are probably (NOT DEFINITELY) at least somewhat aligned with n*il's beliefs, which really sucks since they are the ones who are most likely to be able to afford taking some time away from work for the strike.
then, there's the issue of being emotionally invested. this kinda works for fans as well, but i literally can't imagine spending years of your life working on these games bc you know that people find so much comfort and representation in the characters that you've worked so hard on, only to find out that the man you've been working for has been prominently supporting a genocide. i can't imagine the conflict, and once again, many of them probably can't afford to just walk away, so they're left with the dilemma of supporting a zionist or leaving their hard work behind and potentially financially devastating themselves and their families.
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butchsophiewalten · 2 years
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i’m going to finally make a post about my Jenny headcanon ideas because no one else in the world understands the way that i see her and im so miserable about it. putting it under a cut because long.
I’ve talked before about how i like the idea that she’s like. reasonably involved with Brighton’s queer community and that she has a pretty nice, stable group of friends consisting mostly of other queer people, and a lot of my other ideas come as kind of an extension of that. I like it as an explanation for her self- confidence, it being something she developed from just having like a strong and reliable social network of people she could trust completely. And I like at as an extension of her narrative function as Sophie’s Rock. Because Sophie's only just navigating what queer identity actually means for her, but Jenny's spent a lot of her life thinking about and coming to terms with her own identity.
BUT ok. to put it very bluntly, i think Jenny has a really shitty relationship with her family. I think she was kicked out for being lesbian when she was 18 (so its in ‘74 lol). and she spent a short while couch surfing before she got scooped up by group of queer people, and she’s kind of just spent the rest of her life in that environment and community. I like that it allows both Jenny and Sophie to have weird family issues, and i think it serves to justify the fact that Sophie had never talked with Jenny about her family stuff pre-BunnyFarm. Both of them hate talking about family shit, so it never came up. I also REALLY like the idea of Sophie like. getting super in her own head feeling like she’s the Only Person In The World who is Fucked Up and Traumatized as a result of like. the complete lack of understanding she got from the adults around her in the aftermath of her family’s disappearances. So as an adult now she’s super convinced that she's the only person who will ever understand what its like to be suffering this kind of profound hurt. and she's convinced herself that she cant ever let anybody know how fucked up she is and she has to always pretend to be the best possible version of herself.
And she’s especially fixated on this idea she has that Jenny specifically is Normal. that Jenny is an example of a Normal Person with Nothing Wrong With Them, because she can’t imagine the idea of someone who’s gone through something horrible and come out on the other side of it seeming just fine. So she doubles down on this idea that she has to maintain whatever perception Jenny has of her or else Jenny will realize she’s Weird and Traumatized and not worth the trouble. Because that sets up the opportunity for Sophie to find out that, no,  Jenny's experienced some pretty serious hardship, too. And the only reason she came out okay was because she let herself rely on other people when she was her most vulnerable. And that’s the first time Sophie really seriously considers the idea of letting someone in to help her through her problems. Even if she isn’t completely ready to do that yet.
And like! I’m trying really hard to make it clear that this isn’t just some lame angsty headcannon where i give Jenny kinda a shitty childhood for no good reason. I think this idea is genuinely narratively and thematically compelling and I think it conceptually strengthens the relationships these characters have with each other. And I do think it’s at least partially justified by Jenny’s actions? Thinking specifically about the old /sophiewalten page where Sophie brings up her dad having anger issues and the first thing Jenny thinks to ask was if that meant he was abusive. or like the old /jennyletterson page where Jenny’s first response to Sophie saying she hasn’t seen her family in years is just “oh damn” which is a hilariously lame and terrible response, and I like to joke that she said that because she assumed it was because Sophie is gay lol.
But just.aaugh i like this idea. i like it so much more than the idea that Jenny really IS just a Completely Normal Person who’s helping her Fucked Up and Traumatized girlfriend through her problems. Like that feels so strange and voyeuristic to me. I especially like the idea of Sophie being someone who was completely denied the opportunity to properly process her own trauma, while Jenny is someone who was able to kinda overcome and come to terms with her trauma with a lot of help and hard work. And Sophie is able to feel Humanized and Understood in seeing another person (a person she cares very deeply about) also struggle with familial trauma, and she suddenly feels hopeful for a future version of herself that never existed in her mind before who’s been able to meaningfully heal and continue with life and learn to start enjoying it. it is just a compelling idea to me!! I like to give jenny problems
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starry622 · 4 months
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hello, im oliver, or v for short. i am 20 years old, bodily. im an artist, a dog, and the host of a system.
ive got bpd, hpd, dpd, and schizophrenia, all of which, of course, affect the system. my biggest psychotic symptom is that of clinical lycanthropy and cynanthropy, which you will see reflected often on this blog (especially under the tag #clinical zoanthropy). i cant effectively be reality checked, at least in this regard, so dont even try it. more info on this under the cut. :]
im very into social justice, mogai/liom, art, and general fandom stuff
i now have a somewhat stable home, but i still take donations, as i lost my job last month and currently have no way to make any money besides commissions and donations. i work hard every day applying to every job i can possibly find, following up on applications, and getting interviews, but that does not fund the cost of living in the meantime. im working to put up a commissions carrd (that will also function as a mini portfolio), though i will still be taking commissions before the carrd is finalized. i havent had a meal in a week, so i could really use the money, if anyone is willing to help.
if you need a dni, my basic boundaries are that proshippers, pro-contact harmful paraphiles, and radqueers dont interact. i do, however, have a byf, which is on my carrd (linked below)
my personal carrd is here: [link]
my commission carrd is: still unfinished
my cashapp is: $Starry622
do be warned, my tumblr webtheme (starry622.tumblr.com) is not safe for those who are sensitive to flashing or eyestrain. there is no necessary info on my webtheme, so you will not ever have to visit it for any reason.
for more zoanthropy info: my body can morph and change to become more canine-like, and it can go through certain stages. human-> boy with canine features -> full canine (with the regular animal anatomy) or werecanine (more like a hollywood werewolf) and my transformations can cause pain and discomfort, though i mostly just feel fur sprouting and my organs shifting. my mind is that of a humans, however my soul and dna are that of a canines.
i dont really know what a p-shifter is, but i guess you could call me one? i dont think shifting is something you can learn anyways and i cant control it, so i feel like most people either can or cant shift. theres always exceptions to the rule, however, not that i would be teaching anyone how, especially because that seems like a dangerous move for all involved parties. plus, i dont even know how i do it, i just do, so id be useless for that.
i dont know what the deal is and why i am both a wolf and a dog, and my identity as a whole is definitely more dog, all i know is that its me. thats why i use canine instead of specific dog or wolf when speaking generally, because "dog or wolf" is a mouthful.
i dont identify with the word human, but its easier to explain that way. i am more a person. my brain is and stays that of a sentient, sapient person living in a human society. im culturally human, you could say.
rarely, ill have short-ish bouts where i am a different animal, usually on top of being a canine, which confuses me, but i choose to go with the flow about it. if i think too too much about it, im afraid ill confuse myself more than just suddenly becoming a lagothrope/kounanthrope (family including rabbits, bunnies, hares) and accepting it until its over. i dont know what those little bouts are about, and i kinda dont wanna know!
i identify with my diagnosed clinical label simply because i experience a lot of double bookkeeping (i believe thats what its called). im aware of myself in some ways, and see how others see me alongside how i see myself. this is also exactly why reality checking doesnt work on me. i am aware of my symptoms, and i believe the delusions and semi-rare hallucinations that act as proof of my true self. my experience is constant clashing in that way, like i can see more than everyone else, but it rarely causes a problem, and so i go with it. no use fighting it. im a lazy dog, if youll forgive the pun.
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cloudmancy · 2 years
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you guys sent in SO MANY asks and I physically cannot respond to all of them so I’ll post (most) of them at once. I am like a little messaging service an anonymous ruehob confessions blog of a sort... you are welcome... discussion goes in the reblogs/comments
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[ID: anon ask reading “ruehob isnt really a like concept of acutal partners to me its just an exploration of regency tropes and dynamics... like i dont understand making like fluff post-canon stuff for them because it feels like the relationship is intentionally pretty shallow because its more about the narrative tension than either of them as Real People in a Real Relationship. theyre here to check the boxes of a dramatic regency romance and that is very fun like i love it but its also not really ABOUT if theyre gonna have a good life after the show”]
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[ID: anon ask reading “personally i like ruehob but its true its literally because people hate women and wuvvy deserves so so so much better... i was kinda sad that aabria didn't address wuvvy's side in the AP and just made it out to be like a "ooh fun and drama" thing but maybe it's bc she didn't want to dive deep into it yet and i REALLY hope wuvvy will like. get to make a statement to rue or smth because she deserves FAR better at this point. i know the wuvvy neglect from rue's side might be because the player's have way too many interactions to go through but LORD!!!!!!! its not even supporting womens wrongs at this point bc like wuvvy DESERVES to do at least that much if she's been treated like this :| anyway people will stay hating women and prioritising ~ romance ~ over all else its maddening to see”]
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[ID: anon ask reading “could be my years of reading fanfiction but the miscommunication trope are the reason that ruehob are acting like middle schoolers with a crush who they have only talked to twice and saying "they love them" is why they feel like an unfulfilling ship”]
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[ID: anon ask reading “not to join the crowd but thank you for putting words to my inarticulate dissatisfaction w ruehob 😭😭 it felt very sudden and maneuvered into place and narratively dissatisfying, like they were trying to hit tropes rather than craft a satisfying romance into the story. there was no buildup!! there was one scene that led to contrived drama for several episodes and now they love each other. it could have been a really fun narrative about an infatuation between two powerful fey and the hearts they trample on in the process, but it's not being framed like that (or, y'know, they could've given their characters a history together). you're right about wuvvy/binx though, i'm a simple lesbian ready to get deeply invested in this”]
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[ID: anon ask reading “i gotta thank you homie, after scrolling through your blog it's helped me put my finger on why i'm not as about ruehobb as everyone else seems to be and also that wuvvy can destroy folks, as a treat tbh”]
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[ID: anon ask reading “insane take maybe but the ruehob of it all isn't about the long-term relationship- it's about the experience of one person making you reconsider everything. rue and hob do fall fast and hard and their relationship is a catalyst for self-growth more than it is sustainable, which I kind of like tbh and find relevant to at least my queer experience. we don't know what hob (and rue to an extent) would actually be Like because he doesn't know that, because he's never given himself the chance. wuvvy is stable and confident in her identity in a way that rue and hob aren't, and so their dumpster fire mess of longing and repression looks insane and unappealing to her, but I do think it's compelling to watch from our perspective. the issue comes in when every fan acts like they are soulmates who are going to be together 4ever and it's like. we don't know! these people haven't been themselves ever, really, we don't know! I think in AP7 brennan said that he intentionally put a seed of growth in hob that he needed to confront his relationship with his court and duty, etc, and rue just happened to slot perfectly in. it's not about it being rue specifically, it's about the self-discovery of realizing you can be loved, that there is something deeper than orders, as he says. same goes for rue: it's not about the specifics of hob, it's about wanting something and Not putting cordiality and safety and appearances first”]
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[ID: anon ask reading “remember when hob was like rue doesn’t actually love me i was just there at a good time. i was sitting here thinking man…i WISH, that’d be way more interesting. anyway to each their own but ruewuvvy rights”]
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yjwhatif · 2 years
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YJ EPISODE 23 SPOILER NOTES… only three episodes left 😣
First off I would like to start proceedings with the following statement… ED IS NOT IN THIS EPISODE AND THAT IS A CRIME!… okay move on to what was actually in the episode…
Its that lizard kid from Cuba
Oh no Wilhelms leading the mob
Brion returns with a new suit and team... including Papa Smurf - thats Now two Metas who were at Taos last season (and yet there's no Ed in this episode)
So Wilhelm's a Meta? Or is it Everyman has been pretending to be Wilhelm?
New look for violet - looking lovely in pink
Violet can now levitate other things - Could they be one of the most powerful character in the series?
That is exactly how one should go up the stairs when in the presence of a friend who can levitate stuff
I very much prefer this Harper - it just shows how capable a person is to change when given the love and support they deserve from a stable home environment. She genuinely seems happy.
Wait, Harper was actually dating someone? I figured she was just lying about that... Y 'know what, the less we discuss that event the better
Yay for Harper actually communicating her feelings whilst also not pushing for Violet to immediately reciprocate (It kinda reminds me of Imogen in Heartstopper)
The confess feelings and run away move
Ooh that eyebrow raise at the mention of M’gann - I really think she's the only one capable of bringing Conner back from this
That is serious commitment to your cause - sticking your hard straight into boiling lava!
“I've pledged my loyalty to Zod” - Oh no - that's not good.
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“you mean, you'll do them like you did your uncle" - Brions reaction to this is so interesting - he doesn't show anger or disrespect - he's taken aback in a way that almost shows hurt or regret at now being known for such a thing
Love seeing Fury noticing something isn't right with Baazovi
TAOS mention! (yet no Ed in the episode!)
This episode's really gonna go and convince me that I was wrong for hating on Brion, isn't it? Baazovi is really swaying peoples opinions - Brion is showing genuinely reasonable thinking and clearly wants the best for his people and Metas -but he's never going to achieve those desire while he remains under the thumb of Baazovi and the light.
WE RETURN TO TAOS! (And yet we still have No Ed in this episode!)
Group therapy session with Dinah - bring it on. I've said this before but I do like how much we’re actually seeing of the mental health check in sessions and now in more forms than just one on one. The fact that everyone is so open with each other here emphasises how these sessions must have been going on for a while in the background for everyone to be so comfortable with each other.
So we have 3 outsiders, 2 Team-ers, 1 Leaguer, and Gar - I like that there's a range of people at the session
Vic & Violet’s friendship is great - I kinda always forget that its a thing and then they have moments that remind me - and then I'm like - oh ye, Violet literally saved his life so many times and that meant a lot to him.
I just had to look this up - but I did not realise Lia was supposed to be Scottish!
"Gee, I wonder who that could be?” I love this more chilled out Tara - She's fun.
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"Who we talking about?"" You don't have to give us a name" - Dinah trying to reign in the teens
Dinah truly is awesome!
GET JACE OFF MY SCREEN RIGHT NOW! I HATE HER AND EVERY WORD THAT ESCAPES HER MOUTH! She is Umbridge level evil!
Stop brainwashing the kid! And get him away from Jace!
"I do not like the look of this" - there may be hope for Brion - If we can just get him away from Baazovi - hopefully Fury can help with that
"Please, say nothing!"… *Conner immediately snitches* — Well, I guess now we know why Dick never told Conner any of the secret plans
Markovia really is a mess - that poor minister guy
Callback to the start of Z's arc
Poor Dick - he's losing everything
Wingman is freaking adorable!
Dinah's face at the idea of Gar doing his business outside as a dog
Oh Leslie seriously has the feels for Andi - are we gonna final get some confirmation on these two?
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Gars making some serious improvements and we love him for it! He's doing the time and committing to the work
“I know I'm not ready for the outsiders right now” - It'll be interesting to see how the Bart and Conner situations may/may not effect that decision.
"She can get us out!?" - They just got very intense very quickly
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"She won’t take you…She hates you - called you a tyrant" - The betrayal on Phantom Girls face! Conner stop talking!
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First time seeing how the Zods respond to someone who opposes them
"You will kneel before Zod"
Phantom Girl crying as she leaves Conner behind - and when you consider the commitment she made to save him from the explosion in the first place - putting her hand in literal lava - you can really feel for her now
That scream of pain
That shot of Brion alone in his throne in complete silence really highlights how isolated he's become by following this path
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The genuine look of happiness Brion has at seeing Violet - I'm really feeling for Brion in a way I did not expect!
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Halo's got a costume redesign and I love the new style - the only thing I don't really like is the purple that's still on the hood - it just doesn't go with the red, Yellow and blue that's now on the body. I don't think it would bother me as much if there was some other purple bits else where - like on the hand and feet bits that are now red, or even a slight purple outline at either side of the rainbow. Other than that I really like it - it really shows that they are taking control of all aspects of their life - which is great!
“I missed you!”
I like this conversation that they having
PISS OFF BAAZOVI!
You tell him Vi!
"I have continued my journey but you are still stuck where I left you a year ago!" → Which highlights an interesting parallel between the scenes at Taos and those in Markovia - Dinah stressed the fact that everyone there was in complete control of the experience they had there - no one was being told what to do or how to do it - they guide each other but ultimately make their own choice on how to progress. As we see from both gar and violet, this makes for a really positive experience which helps a person change for a better. Where as with Brion, he's surrounded by those who are manipulating him, making his choices and tricking him into believing they are his own - he's stuck in the same state he was in a year ago because he has no control in his own kingdom or in being his own person - he's basically a puppet tied in place with no way to brake free. The can't progress because he isn't allowed to - and so he'll remain stuck until he finds a way to gain some control back in his life... though I doubt that's gonna happen any time soon.
SHUT UP BAAZOVI!
You tell him Brion!
Fury + Brion confiding in each other... though I just had a horrible feeling of what if one of them isn't who they appear to be?!
Violets finally moving on
"TA-DAH!" hey that's Bart’s thing!
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Why is the image of a gremlin hugging a packet of Chicken Whizees so adorable?
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"Hope you enjoy them!" Grumpy Grayson
"I hate keeping secrets" No you don't! I appreciate that Kaldur gives him the side eye at that - there is absolutely no one who believes you Dick
I do get why they're not involving M’gann - though I do think she's the only one who will be able to actually save Conners mind
"Feeding you my power" - again calling back to Zs arc
"Next Stop, the Phantom Zone"
The Hall of Justice is finally getting rebuilt?!… I wonder how long it’s gonna take for that to get blown again… maybe keep the youngsters away from it this time?
I love all the little cheers of Celebration - "Neptunes Beard!"
So while there was no Ed content ☹️ or anymore Bart development - which I had a feeling might happen - this was still a seriously enjoyable episode and it really had a season 1 vibe about it - at least to me it did anyway. I did not expect what we got with Brion but I did actually like seeing it and realising he’s maybe not the evil villain I was expecting him to be. It’s actually kinda sad how controlled he is. In contrast, it makes me really happy to see how much Violet has grown whilst on their journey of self discovery and seeing how much control and confidence they now have is a really uplifting sight to see. Bring on the next episode!
LB
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acidmatze · 4 years
Text
A Fractured Sense Of Self
About one year ago I made a post about Hawks possibly having Dependend Personality Disorder since I saw so many things in him that I saw in myself.
After several talks with my therapist however it became more and more apparent that I had been close but didn't really hit the target.
I'm not here to push a diagnosis on Hawks. He's just fictional after all and I am just someone overanalysing things and not a professional of any kind.
I'm probably gonna lay out the “symptoms” or rather.... Behaviours of Borderline Personality Disorder, see if they fit Hawks and how and then try to somehow make sense of his state of mind and how it ties in with how he acts.
Trying to make sense of whatever the hell is happening in the recent chapters.
So when my therapist said “I looked some things up and I would say his behaviour fits BPD the best.” my brain immediately went to “No that can't be. Isn't that a thing teenagers have?”
Even though I Should Know Better. Damn you, media.
Ableism is so ingrained in society even people with mental illnesses themselves aren't safe.
But anyway, this isn't an essay about me doing parkour to avoid feelings and problems this is more about HAWKS doing the same.
Part 1  So what is BPD anyway?
BPD is characterized by the following signs and symptoms:
Markedly disturbed sense of identity
Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, and extreme reactions to such.
Splitting ("black-and-white" thinking)
Impulsive or reckless behaviors (e.g., impulsive or uncontrollable spending, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
Intense or uncontrollable emotional reactions that often seem disproportionate to the event or situation
Unstable and chaotic interpersonal relationships
Self-damaging behavior
Distorted self-image
Dissociation
Frequently accompanied by depression, anxiety, anger, substance abuse, or rage
Says Wikipedia
Let's see if and how Hawks fits these behaviour patterns.
(If you read this and suddenly realise “Oh shit I do stuff like that!” then please know you are in no way a horrible person. You did not choose any of these things. Stay safe cuz the world needs you.)
I'm intentionally leaving the Identity part for last.
Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, and extreme reactions to such.
And
Splitting ("black-and-white" thinking)
I'm gonna take both points on at the same time cuz they are dependend on one another and one thing causes the other.
Why did he suddenly switch from “I don't want to fight you! I want to help you!” while looking desperate and disturbed (and meaning it!) to a pretty much emotionless “I have to kill you” (and meaning that too)?
He wanted to help Twice!
He really believes that Rehabilitation is the way to go for him.
After all, Twice is a good person and good people should have no troubles in hero society, right? Only bad people are villains, right?
If Twice is a good person he should have no problems choosing Rehabilitation and come back to the hero side, right? They are friends and that's what friends do right? Friends agree with one another, right?
And then Twice declines and insults the one thing Hawks really believes in (because he never was taught anything else).
Which caused Hawks to:
Perceive Twice as an enemy instead.
Friends agree with one another and Twice does not agree which means he is not a friend which means he is an enemy and should be killed.
Hawks (probably) has never killed before and it's not the job of a hero even. Heroes should go out of their way to avoid murder and bloodshed.
So in my opinion this sudden switch from “my friend” to “enemy” is definitely fueled by Hawks own emotions. The feeling of betrayal; not only did Twice insult the hero system he also insulted Hawks himself because Hawks cannot seperate himself from the System. As far as he perceives it they are one. It is Hawks sole identity.
It is easy for us to say there are bad heroes and good villains.
Because what is Good and what is Bad can change from situation to situation and is always dependend on circumstances.
A person can both be good and bad at the same.
A person can give lots of money to charity. We would say that's a good person.
The same person can also constantly lie to people and be unreliable towards their friends.
We would say that's a bad person.
But we know it's the same person and we all do things that are good AND bad. We all do good things. And we also have done bad things.
What I wanna say is, no person is completely black or white. We are all shades of grey.
“I really love to have Joe as a friend. He's such a great listener and we have amazing talks but he really has to come clean to his girlfriend about crashing her car.”
For Hawks, this is not so easy to understand.
In his mind a person can either be good OR bad.
All villains are bad. All heroes are good.
This ties in with his own anxiety about not solving a situation in the best possible way.
Making even one mistake is not an option. Heroes are good people and good people don't make mistakes.
He was So Close to realising that Twice is a good person even though he is a villain but one of these moments cannot undo over a decade of brainwashing.
“The contradictionary truth that things or persons can be black and white, good or bad, etc At The Same Time, seems unimaginable.”
(Fragmented Selves: Temporality and Identity in Borderline Personality Disorder by Thomas Fuchs)
Impulsive behaviour
This one is either easy or hard, depending on how you look at it.
We don't know what Hawks does in his free time and if he even has anything like such.
But reckless behaviours are basically part of his job so he probably already gets his fill there.
Intense or uncontrollable emotional reactions that often seem disproportionate to the event or situation
See his reaction towards Twice.
Unstable and chaotic interpersonal relationships
Or rather, a complete lack of any relationship whatsoever.
He either idolises people (Endeavor) or demonises them (Twice right now).
One could argue that as of now Hawks is completely incapable or forming any sort of emotional connection. He himself says he doesn't get attached, sees it as a weakness. For me it sounds like a defense mechanism.
He Did get attached to Twice and we saw how that played out.
But Hawks getting hurt over and over is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Thinking of someone as either completely good or completely bad does little to aid a friendship.
Endeavor’s abuse getting exposed would probably cause Hawks to go through a crisis. He idolises Endeavor. In his eyes Endeavor can do no wrong.
Normally I would say this is something that must be avoided at any cost but in Hawks case, it is probably a necessary step to help him break the lock of his golden cage.
Self-damaging behavior
“If corrupting myself is enough to put everyone at ease then I will gladly take on this job”, anyone?
Hawks sending all his feathers to Endeavor to help him anyone?
When is this bird NOT hurting himself?
There are many ways to self-harm and this is Hawks way to do it.
Isn't it convenient that nobody would question is since he's just doing his job?
Distorted self-image
Goes hand in hand with the very first point which I wanna do last, just in case it gets really really long.
Dissociation
To be honest, I couldn't find any signs of that in Hawks. If someone of you can, just correct me.
Frequently accompanied by depression, anxiety, anger, substance abuse, or rage
Hawks seems to vaguely know that something is going wrong in his life and he absolutely does not like his circumstances.
He wishes to be free.
When he looked at Twice and smiled and said “A cage is not where I belong” it seemed to me like he looked more pained than genuinely joking.
He mentions drinking alcohol after work so this could or could not mean anything.
Maybe he wishes he could get smashed after work?
Who knows.
But he is definitely depressed and tries to cover it with jokes. Some depressed people joke even more the worse they feel.
Seriously, his interactions with Twice seemed to be the most genuine ones, where he was/is the most vulnerable.
The jovial, easygoing, chatty Hawks is a lie. A lie he has forced himself to believe in.
A role he has to play. But he played it for so long he forgot that it is just a role in a play and not real.
Part 2 Hawks must die
Okay, that sounds really harsh. I promise it's just a metaphorical death. I'm side-eyeing Horikoshi so hard right now.
Now we will take a look at his identity, or lack of one.
Lately what I really was reminded of was this “Inner child” thing.
We only caught glimpses of Hawks as a literal child. He probably grew up in an unstable home. Probably had no one really looking after him, why else would such a young child roam around the city alone so freely that it has the chance to help in a car crash?
He didn't look much older than 6 or 8.
The Hero Commission discovered him and took him in and “provided for his entire family”.
What happened was that he was apparently completely removed from his family and was put into a clinical environment, cold, not suited for children at all, hell probably barely suited for any human being.
Hawks remembers that even as a child he was taught interrogation techniques. Espionage.
From a very young age he was taught to leave himself behind. To mold himself into whatever he needs to be to complete the mission. To be a chameleon. A mirror. Just a reflection of what others expect him to be.
He has to be A so he becomes A. He has to be B now so he ignores he ever was A and is B now.
He has to be Hawks so Takami Keigo becomes Hawks and leaves himself behind.
The last time he was Takami Keigo was when he was a child.
Change is a normal part in humans. It's very important during puberty. That's why teenagers experiment with it so much.
“Oh, it's just a phase” sneer the adults when the teen wears only black and say thats the “Real me”. In a few months the same teen probably tries something else.
That's a good and normal thing. Even as adults we are constantly changing and adapting.
But we never forget the person we once were. We stay connected to it, maybe remember it fondly and think of the friends we found that way.
Or sometimes we look back and cringe because “Wow, my parents really let me go outside like this?”
It forms one fluent narrative. All these changes are still us. We know that we are the same person as we were last year even if last year's us was completely different from today's us.
Hawks doesn't have this continuity.
He became Hawks and wasn't allowed any further change and he also wasn't allowed to be Takami Keigo at the same time. He is a tool to be used.
Takami Keigo is a frightened child. A child that made a decision and thought he did well and now this decision is his downfall.
Takami Keigo was never allowed to grow up. He was pushed away, so he can be Hawks instead, probably as an attempt to gain approval, to be praised, to be liked.
Hawks is an amazing actor, likeable, chatty, funny and witty, very competent at his job and smart.
Takami Keigo is a scared child.
If Hawks stops being Hawks there is nothing he can go back to.
Normally people with Borderline ofc also go through “phases” as everyone else does but instead of putting them all into a single narrative and file them all away under “That's me” every phase is it's own seperate story.
All energy is put into one “phase” as much as neurotypicals do but once this phase is over there is nothing that comes after it. When people without Borderline change “phases” we know a “home” we can revert to while we change. Our Self still exists in us wether we are currently obsessing about Ballett or Comics or Dinosaurs or Architecture or whatever.
For someone like Hawks theres either Ballet or comics or dinosaurs or whatever. No neutral spot. You are either the person who puts all their energy into becoming an archaeologist or you're nothing. Being something gives you a goal to work towards to. It tells you who to talk to, what to talk about, what to do in your free time etc.
Hawks being Hawks gives him a goal, a worldview, things to believe in, topics to talk about, a job, people to talk to, opinions to have etc. It gives him an identity, ready-made and easy to consume.
He cannot be anything else but Hawks. He is nothing beyond that.
Takami Keigo plays Hawks, they are not one and the same person.
He is Hawks but Hawks isn't Takami Keigo.
Takami Keigo holds no opinion of his own, no worldview, no goal, no hobbies, nothing.
Hawks has to die so Takami Keigo can heal. So the frightened child can finally grow up.
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bratz-kitten · 3 years
Text
random thoughts on the moon signs
moon in pisces is literally my favorite placement ever. something about these people makes me feel safe. as a capricorn moon, i repress my emotions constantly and i’m deadly afraid of showing vulnerability, but pisces moons give off this vibe of constantly being consumed by their emotions – and it’s fascinating. you make me feel like it’s okay to express my deeply emotional side; even better, you encourage it. you’re the type of people who i love crying with while eating ice cream, even cuddling with. your empathy and passion for your interests is your biggest strength.
moon in aquarius reminds me of that shrek quote of him being an onion – you guys have layers upon layers upon layers. my brother is an aquarius moon and sometimes i feel like i’m the only person who knows how emotional he really is. you hate showing this part of yourself – it’s hidden safely from prying hands; you racionalize your emotions, repress them, attempt to conceal them; but ultimately, your deeply compassionate and intuitive nature will be shown – even if only to the very few you trust. your dreams are your biggest strength.
i have never met a cancer moon without raging mommy issues yet who was deeply attached to their mother. you always share this very close bond and she’s very present in your life – yet its so obviously this very toxic dynamic. you guys get this fame for being the only ones with ‘stable’ emotions because your moon is exalted but you’re like.. not. your emotions aren’t stable; much on the contrary, and even if you’re very emotional, you don’t particularly like showing it. most of the cancer moons i’ve known are iffy about expressing their feelings. you joke a lot about your trauma, though, and so you give people the impression of knowing you when really, they don’t know the half of it.
moon in sagittarius makes it feel like life is worth living. you dream so much and so high; you’re so open about your love for adventure and freedom, so optimistic and fun-loving – to the point where most people don’t understand how turbulent your emotions are underneath the façade. you give off the vibe of the funny friend who’s depressed and afraid to show it because you’re supposed to be the one who raises the spirits. doesn’t it hurt when you try opening up to others and they almost seem bothered by it because they prefer it when you’re just this bubble of fun? you need to learn to take that weight off your shoulders – stop trying to entertain others and realize that they’re the ones who need to entertain you. this is your show, baby. your resilience is your strength.
is it possible to be a capricorn moon without having strict parents and a terrible childhood in which you had to raise yourself? because i think it’s kind of a given. it’s so funny how literally everyone sees you as this cold, unemotional, strong person yet you probably cry everyday. a lot of problems with self-worth every time you’re in a bad place mentally, which is constantly. extremely calculating – you always do shit with a clear purpose in mind and it can come off like you’re using people for your own gains. your ability to survive even unsurmountable odds stacked up against you is your strength. i almost feel like you thrive on pain because that’s how you’ve learned to grow and adapt.
moon in aries people are so smart, and most of all, dedicated. you make me want to get my life together so bad – you’re the type of people to set a goal and go through with it no matter what. you’re always on to something, looking for opportunities and recognition. you see what you want and you go for it. you’re so easy to rile up and lose it, though, it’s so funny how you’re so bold and passionate yet so big of a crybaby (all aries placements are tbh).
moon in scorpio stop being so pessimistic pleathe i will kiss you in the lips just don’t lose your faith in humanity /yet/. trust is the most important thing in the world to you which is funny because you have raging trust issues. so sensitive but you cover that up with anger. you be looking like you wanna commit sporadic murder when on the inside you’re just so hurt. you’re so dependable, things might be in deep shit but as soon as you’re in the room i know we’ll find a way to fix it. if the l*ve of my life doesn’t end up being a scorpio moon i’ll be so pissed.
moon in leo YOU’RE SO INFURIATING PLEASE SHUT UP OR I’LL FUCK YOU??????? massive egos, you know you’re the shit and you won’t shut up about it. likes to start arguments just to rile everyone up and then laugh maniacally in the corner at the chaos they created. always have a wicked plan in mind and i’ll go along with it because you’re also stupidly endearing. the best friends, literally always there when you’re down and sosososo supportive. i’ve noticed that feeling insecure is quite possible the worst thing you can feel, it’ll start to take a toll on your physical health. your ability to be a fucking idiot but also a /pretty/ idiot is your biggest strength.
moon in virgo if you say “well actually, that’s not how that works” one more time i’ll throw hands. incredibly nit-picky and obsessive but also the types of people to have a pile of dirt on their room?? mom friend, WILL take care of her babies/friends. you always ruin the mood yet.. you’re so fun to be around? how does that even work? i could listen to you talk for hours. i don’t think you know what the concept of relaxation is. also pleathe stop with that need to fix others. the fact that you’re so focused on your goals and willing to do just about anything is your biggest strength (it’s also kinda scary).
my mom’s moon is in libra and ma’am can you please stop transferring your mommy issues onto me? i get it, you had a codependent relationship with her and she showed you she loved you while also constantly criticising you and treating you like an extension of herself. my bestie is a libra moon too and it’s also like that. just.. mommy issues and insecurities for days. a passion 4 fashion and people love to be around you. also, i can’t understand how you feel. like, you’ll cry a lot and love so hard yet when you break up with someone you’ll never spare a thought about them again? it’s almost like you can turn your feelings off. which is funny, because that’s supposed to be a capricorn moon thing but i’ve never met one who can stop caring, they just act like they’re heartless to protect themselves. either way, libra moons can switch from sweethearts to cold and aggressive in a literal second and it’s scary but also cool.
moon in gemini please don’t ever shut up you have so much to say, your interests are so fascinating and the way you talk with so much passion about literally anything makes my heart do the flippy thing. also so complicated, can you name one person in this world who fully knows and comprehends you? very secretive, people feel like they know you because you talk a lot and are very open about certain things but as soon as something actually serious happens you turn into allison dilaurentis real quick.
moon in taurus why are you so pretty? you’re so extra too, you always leave the house looking straight off the runaway. you’re literally so caring for your friends and overprotective too, possessive of even them. you prioritize comfort a lot, wether it be on your home or concerning yourself. you’re very good with people, i feel like you’re the ex that your ex-boyfriend’s mom doesn’t ever shut up about because she misses you and wants you to be The one. you need to learn that change isn’t the enemy!! change is fundamental for personal growth. hold grudges for a crazy amount of time. very weird sense of humor, in an oddly endearing way. your mentality of “if they’ve hurt you, they’ve hurt me too” is your biggest strength.
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damonalbarn · 3 years
Note
Hey I was wondering if you knew the article that Justine spoke about suzi in?!
It was in The Guardian in 2000. Here you go:
Sweet revenge
In the mid 90s, Justine Frischmann and Damon Albarn were the First Couple of Britpop. Then he used a Blur album to rake over their break-up, while she languished in obscurity amid rumours of heroin addiction. Now she's back with a new album, and it's her turn to exorcise her demons.
Caroline Sullivan
Friday March 24, 2000
As Alison Moyet once said, it's hard to write a decent song when you're happy. Rock bands thrive on romantic turmoil in their private lives, without which they would be reduced to padding out lyrics with football scores and the weather.
Thus it was for Blur's Damon Albarn in mid-1998 when he sat down to write what would become the 13 album. His eight-year relationship with Justine Frischmann of the chart-topping Elastica, whom he once described as **"the only person who's ever been completely necessary to me" **had just ended, at her instigation. Pained and humiliated, he decided to exact revenge by exposing their most intimate details to public scrutiny.
The outcome? Embarrassment for Frischmann, a number one album for Blur and a bit of a result for Albarn.
Break-up albums are by definition both embittered and yearning - in the case of Marvin Gaye's vindictive Here, My Dear, they're just plain nasty - but 13 got more up-close and personal than could be considered gentlemanly. Albarn portrayed his former partner as neurotic, even slipping apparent drug references into the single Tender: "Tender is the ghost, the ghost I love the most/Hiding from the sun, waiting for the night to come". Frischmann was the ghost, supposedly, who was on the verge of being consumed by what one music paper euphemistically called "the darkness at the heart of Elastica".
Frischmann's response can be found on a song called The Way I Like It, which appears on Elastica's first album in five years, The Menace (out next month): "Well, I'm living all right and I'm doing okay/Had a lover who was made of sand, and the wind blew him away".
This is unlikely to be her last word on the subject. As she ambivalently begins her first round of interviews since 1996, she's finding that everyone has the same three questions. Why did Elastica nearly sabotage a promising career by taking so long to follow up their million-selling debut? Had Frischmann taken leave of her senses when she walked out on Mr Britpop? And what about the drug rumours?
"One journalist said to me, 'Dahling, I heard you were on heroin - Mahvelous!' " she says with some amusement. "Drugs are around, but I'm not that interested and never have been, although there have been elements of party animal in my band. The rumours are a lot to do with rock'n'roll mythology, where people want to believe you're having a more exciting time than you are."
The only drugs on her person today, as she perches on the edge of an armchair in her publicist's north London living room, are Marlboro Lights. Her other indulgences are two cups of herbal tea and a Cadbury's Flake cupcake, which she nibbles with well-bred pleasure. Her dark eyes are clear, and her long, tanned body is a testament to the virtues of a daily swim in a pool near her Notting Hill home. Only Elastica know whether they really succumbed to heroin and hedonism after their self-titled debut made them more famous than they'd ever expected to be, but if they did, Frischmann, 30, seems little the worse for it.
Given the current predominance of damnable boy bands, the Britpop mid-90s are beginning to seem like a halcyon period for English music. It was a time when the underground went overground, and a self-described "little punk band" like Elastica could sell 80,000 albums in a week.
More than a few loser guitar groups saw Britpop as a licence to print money, but Elastica, led with cool elan by the androgynous Frischmann, were one of its gems. The Blur connection was a marketing godsend (Frischmann and Albarn met on the London indie circuit, she as guitarist in an early line-up of Suede and girlfriend of frontman Brett Anderson, he as a cherubic baggy hopeful), yet the spiky-haired Elastica LP embodied that euphoric time like nothing else.
Frischmann, guitarist Donna Matthews, drummer Justin Welch and bassist Annie Holland were unprepared for the album soaring to number one in its first week. When they signed their record deal, Frischmann, whose great-grandfather was a conductor of the Tsar's orchestra at the Summer Palace in Byelorussia, was five years into an architecture degree at London University. A liberal north London Jewish upbringing - her engineer father built the Oxford Street landmark Centrepoint - had instilled expectations of success, but the reality of being photographed in the supermarket and having her rubbish stolen was a shock. Fiercely independent, she also resented her unsought role as half of Britpop's First Couple.
There was more. Two of Frischmann's musical heroes, The Stranglers and Wire, decided that two Elastica songs were suspiciously similar to two of their own tracks, and won royalties. Meanwhile, there were malicious rumours that Albarn had done much of the work on the record. He hadn't, but he did find Justine's success in America, where she was substantially out-selling Blur, hard to endure.
"It was very hard for him to deal with and he's very confrontational," she says, with the flattering openness of someone who prefers interviews to be more like conversations. She admits she often says too much, but in an era of image control and spin, her honesty makes her a one-off. Not that she's likely to land herself in it too badly - she possesses the intellectual ammunition to look after herself, which must have been instrumental in attracting two of rock's more articulate stars, Albarn and Anderson.
She's been accused of being a professional rock girlfriend, though it was probably they who were lucky to get her. She spent the cab ride over reading the Sylvia Plath letters in Monday's Guardian, and muses on the irony of the poet's subjugating herself to Ted Hughes when she was the more gifted. (Her new boyfriend, by the way, is an unknown photographer, "though that'll probably change, because men seem to get famous when I go out with them".)
"I reacted the way a lot of women do, by being passive," she continues. "He put a lot of pressure on me to give up Elastica. He said, 'You don't want to be in a band, you want to settle down and have kids.' " In so many words? "In so many words. He kept putting on pressure till I started to believe him." She adds bemusedly: "I've met his new girlfriend, and one of the first things she said was that he wanted her to give up travelling with her work to stay home with the baby [Missy, born last autumn]. I'm surprised he's got away with being thought of as a nice person for so long."
After 18 months, during which they did seven American and three Japanese tours, Elastica came off the road to record company demands for an immediate second album. Annie Holland's response was to quit the group, while Donna Matthews became renowned for hard partying on the nocturnal west London scene. They lethargically recorded some demos, but their heart wasn't in it. By 1997, when a second album should have been ready to go, Frischmann and Matthews were barely speaking, and there was nothing useable down on tape.
Holland's replacement, Sheila Chipperfield (of the circus Chipperfields), was deemed not good enough and left by mutual consent. By 1998, their continued lack of productivity was being likened to the Stone Roses' lengthy and ultimately self-destructive holiday between their first and second LPs.
"I didn't think Elastica were going to continue at that point, and we did kinda split up," she says, absently stroking her publicist's cat. Frischmann is a cat person; she's owned a tabby called Benjamin since she was 10. "Unconditional love," she coos. The pet's place in her life is so assured that prospective boyfriends are subjected to his feline scrutiny before she'll go out with them.
On top of everything else, in early 1998 her relationship with Albarn was in trouble. Frischmann retains enough of the indie ethic to detest the phenomenon of celebrity couples, and was dismayed when they became one. "I really hated the tabloid interest, and I went out of my way not to be photographed with him. Only about three pictures of us together exist, I think. In many ways, I think the media interest broke us up, because it made me feel the relationship was quite ugly, and I had to get away from it. There were other factors, too, obviously, because we were together for eight years, and I finally felt it was better the devil you didn't know, really."
Albarn's ego seems to have been severely undermined by having a girlfriend who was nearly as successful as he was, and something of a sex symbol to boot. Despite adopting a resolutely boyish T-shirt-and-jeans uniform, she's thoroughly feminine, a mix that got her voted fifth most fanciable woman in a lesbian magazine.
"I'm completely heterosexual, so I didn't know how to take that. It scares the shit out of me, the idea of being with a girl. I'm glad I've narrowed it down to half the people in the world."
She seems to view Albarn with indulgent exasperation these days, simultaneously praising his intelligence ("The Gallaghers just couldn't compete") and ticking off his flaws. "Damon adores being in the press, and sees all press as good press. He orchestrated that rivalry thing with Oasis. He really wanted kids, and I didn't feel our relationship was stable enough. He was a naughty boy, and he wasn't the right person to have kids with. I had this cathartic moment..."
At which point they split up. Albarn wrote 13 and then met Suzi Winstanley, an artist. "She was pregnant within three months," Justine observes wickedly.
Of the acclaimed 13, she's tactful, describing several songs as "really lovely". She studies her cigarette for a while before adding, "but I'm cynical about selling a record on the back of our relationship". But you're doing the same now. "It's true, but at the time I had no right of reply."
Elastica finally pulled themselves together last year, just as the music industry was about to write them off (their American label had already "very kindly let us go", as she puts it). Holland rejoined, Matthews went to Wales to sort out her life and the band banged out an EP and played the Reading Festival. Things came together quickly after that. They spent the last £10,000 of the recording budget on re-recording a dozen tracks, finishing the album, after years of procrastinating, in six weeks. They've called it The Menace "because that's what it was like to make".
It's dark and resolutely uncommercial - all wrong for 2000's pop-oriented climate. It's unlikely to match the success of the first one, which is fine with them. Call it (though Justine doesn't) their White Album. Its 70s punk aesthetic brings to mind angry girls such as the Slits and the Au Pairs, although the defining mood isn't anger so much as catharsis. None of the songs is specifically about Albarn, she claims. "The dark feeling is due to the sense of isolation, tasting success and getting frightened by it. I was questioning whether I wanted to be in a band any more, and there was no one I could ask for advice. Getting success and everything you ever dreamed about is hard to handle, and makes you question everything."
She's better prepared for success, if it comes again, this time. Already the privacy-preserving barriers are in place. The next interview of the day is with Time Out magazine, which wants a list of her favourite restaurants. "I'm not telling them where I eat," she says reflexively. "I'm gonna lie."
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levisgirll · 3 years
Note
Hey! :] can I request erwin or levi having a younger sister who dates armin, Eren, Jean, Connie, Hange?? Headcanons pls!! :)) pls take ur time<8
𝙇𝙚𝙫𝙞 𝘼𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙣'𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙎𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙨 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨
text: Hi there! Thanks for sending me a request🥺 ♥♥♥ This is such a cute idea and I love it! I decided to go with Levi having a younger sister instead if that's alright c: (if you want another one with Erwin, please let me know!) I also hope you have a nice day <3
synopsis: Levi Ackerman is a guy who would worry a lot about his little sister, and actually get scared for her whenever she is reckless, or gets herself hurt either emotionally or physically and if someone did that to her, consider them dead- but he would be just a good big brother to her and a bit an overprotector cause of the past they have shared and he wants to make sure there is no harm to her. So, when she decides to date one of the scouts, this is where he gets worried and concerned, he starts to watch every move of the person she is dating and will interrogate them, he won't care if its someone he knows, he will make sure they have no bad intentions with his little sister and he would give them his cold and strict glare 24/7 (also he would tease her a lot while she is dating them-).
fluff, comedy, aot world, headcanons ♡ —
𝗘𝗿𝗲𝗻 𝗬𝗲𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗿
When Levi found out his little sister was dating Eren, he was quite shocked to be honest and he had to go find her and actually confirm and hear it from her. “Are you actually dating that Kid? Fucking Yeager really?” He would say as he crossed his arms and was giving his little sister one of his looks, where it was him wanting answers from her now.
“W-What about it?” She said nervously, and looked away. ‘Shit, how did he find out?’ She would wonder as she looked around to find an escape route. She would always do that when she knows her big brother is going to give her one of those long lectures. “You are not going anywhere young lady. You are gonna stay here and tell me how the fuck you both started to date.” Now she is trapped.
When Eren found out that the person he was dating is Levi’s little sister, he was scared as fuck. He was worried that Levi would appear out of nowhere and beat him since he is dating his little sister. “Oh my god, Is your big brother going to kill me cause I am dating you?!” He would say and as he held on both of your shoulders and his eyes would wide, he was actually nervous and scared. “No, Don't worry. As long as you are with me, you are fine! He wont dare lay a finger on you.”
Then Levi appeared out of nowhere, “Oh hell yea I will if you mess with my sister, and make a one meter distance from her shithead. I don't want her to catch your germs.”
His little sister then would turn at him and give him a glare, “Levi, stop it.” She would say and give out a long sigh. 
Whenever his little sister comes back from a date with Eren, she would go see her big brother Levi to see how he is doing and he would say to her with a glare. “You were with him, Hm? You’re filthy now, go shower.” His sister would give out a long sigh and tsk at him while leaving his office, she knows Levi says that on purpose cause he started to tease her more ever since she started dating Eren!
Levi would watch and look after his little sister even more when she started dating Eren, because he found him a bit fishy. “Hey, you sure about this?” He would say one evening as they were drinking tea and he sounded serious, Levi would then give her a big brother/sibling talk.
Eren would always wait for you either when you are cleaning, training or in a meeting and Levi would think he was stalking you and following you at first. “What do u think u are doing following MY little sister? You are so fucked kid.” Levi would say approaching Eren, and he was ready to beat him up again. “LEVI WAIT- that’s the guy I am dating now!” Levi would suddenly stop, and turn around with a surprised expression looking at his little sister “Seriously...”
Once, just once, Eren made Levi’s little sister tear up and Levi did not leave him at all that day and was looking for him. He ruined his life that day. Levi’s little sister teared up cause she got ready to go out with Eren, but Eren somehow forgot and stood her out!  Would be scared to make her cry again, cause he doesn’t want to get beaten up by Levi.
She would tease Eren sometimes. Like, “Hey Eren can you do this for me now?”. “No I need to train, not now!”  he would say and he was approaching the training area, “Hmm…okay I’ll go ask Levi instead” Eren stopped from his tracks, and turned around quickly towards her. “W-WAIT! Actually I can make some time.” This would always make her giggle.
Levi would actually find Eren annoying once Eren started to date Levi’s little sister. “I think he has a thing towards us.” Levi would say to his sister as they both looked outside from his office window and looking at Eren who was searching for Levi and his little sister. “He chases around me, and is dating you, why can’t he just leave us alone...Ugh”.
𝗛𝗮𝗻𝗷𝗶 𝗭𝗼𝗲
They know Levi worries a lot about his little sister, as she is the only one left who is family to him. So Hanji would update Levi about his little sister from time to time, especially after a date. “Heyyy Levi! Just letting you know that she is doing well and finished her work early today!” Hanji would say cheerfully, and Levi just knows that they had just seen his little sister. But, this gives him a relief to know at least that she is doing well as he is quite busy sometimes to check on her.
Would help his little sister to convince her brother with things. “Don’t worry, I can talk to Levi for you babe!”. Hanji would say with a big smile and a light blush would appear in their cheeks, they want her to depend on Hanji.
“Oi, Don’t send Hanji to me again. I cant even shut them up now ever since you are going out with them.” Levi would say as he gave out a long sigh, defeated by Hanji as he let them win with whatever they were trying to convince him. Hanji would not give up and wants to impress his little sister!
Hanji would be good at lying to help Levi’s little sister out just incase she tried to skip something such as cleaning or some training lessons, and Levi would actually fall for it sometimes.
His little sister and Hanji are loud and squeal a lot, it would Levi go mad and yell out at the both of them to shut up, but Hanji would think he is joining their squeals. “Oh my god....Levi finally joined us!” But, his little sister would go to Hanji and whisper to them “Um…I think he’s mad.”
Literally anything his little sister asks Hanji to do something, they get so happy and hyped up. And Levi sees that and actually finds them both cute, he would also appreciate how Hanji is willing to do anything for her and that makes him glad.
If he sees his little sister really down one day, he would see Hanji trying their best to boost her energy up, and Levi would really admire that about Hanji, making his lil sis happy <3
𝗝𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝗞𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗶𝗻
Levi would definitely intimidate Jean, just to test him (He lowkey thought Jean was a fuckboy) and this would piss his pants.
Whenever Levi passes by his little sister and Jean. Jean would salute to him quickly like an idiot. And to just rub it on his face so Levi can scare him more, Levi would say “Jean, You are not causing trouble to my little sister right?”.
Jean: “N-No Captain!!”
Levi: “Hm, better be.”
“Yo....Your brother is scary. Does he hate me?!” Jean would say, full of concern in his tone as they both looked at Levi who was giving out orders for everyone. “Um...You kinda annoy him to be honest.” She would say as Jean looked down with a sad look. “B-But don't worry! He’s just like that in the beginning.”
Jean can’t believe the sweet, cool and lovely girl he is dating is related to Levi. He had to even make sure and see if their last names matched!
“I-Is your brother here today??” Jean would say to her as he looked around, making sure he wasn't near as they were both alone in the stable. He wanted to give a kiss to her cheeks but he was scared as hell if Levi appeared out of nowhere. “It’s either now or never Kirstein.” 
Jean would try to do more tasks and try and to impress Levi just a bit. He would show him his ODM gear skills, and the only thing he got from Levi is saying “You’re an idiot.” and he would give him a stoic expression and walk away. “Huh..” Jean said as he was left all alone in the training area. Although, Levi did appreciate his hard work.
Levi would seem to like Jean later on as he was observing how he was treating his little sister and it would be with respect, love and even respecting her boundaries and Levi found the guy good, but won’t admit it.
Finds it amusing how he gets a small gift for Levi’s little sister every time whenever he went out to town, “Okay, he got taste.”
He also likes Jean because he found out he is hygienic and clean, and how he always presents himself clean and tidy, with a nice outfit every time he goes on a date with his sister during the weekend. “She’s in her bedroom, she will come for you soon.” Levi would say as he opened the door for Jean to enter their small house and Jean would stand like a stickman, too afraid to do anything that would upset Levi. “Hey brat, are you alright?”. It lowkey made Levi chuckle, and Jean thought this was it for him when he heard his small laugh.
𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗲 𝗦𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿
Levi got now, two idiots to deal with. His sister and Connie, who would always bother him with stuff and their stupid games they keep telling Levi to join.
They actually do a lot of pranks on Levi, most of it is Connie’s idea and Levi’s little sister would agree with them and try to do it. But if they get caught, Connie would take the blame and when he does that and Levi sees how he would never bring his sister involved he would just let it slide.
Levi actually likes him, because he makes his little sister laugh a lot with his jokes, and Connie always tries his best to make sure he does that at least once everyday. He would say the most random things and she would laugh and Levi would look at her and think ‘That was not even funny...But, at least she is laughing.’ 
She would get in trouble sometimes with Connie, and if Levi found out, Connie would immediately defend you and just babble about things that did not even make sense. This would make Levi be so confused and even get lost in track to what he was even saying at the beginning. His little sister would try and hold back her laughter. Levi would just sit there, give up with the conversation and say “You know what, Forget it. You both are dismissed.” After they left, Connie would say with a big smile “See! I told you I could convince him!” “Connie...You weren’t even- Nevermind.”
When Levi walks in the hallway and hears someone laughing, he would know it’s Connie making his sister laugh and he actually smiles about it. He would later come in after they finished laughing and talking (giving them some time) and Levi would say “Oi, idiots. Focus on your work.”
𝗔𝗿𝗺𝗶𝗻 𝗔𝗿𝗹𝗲𝗿𝘁
Such a mature boy when he dates Levi’s little sister, and to be honest Levi would have no problem with him dating his little sister.
He’s also a softie and always makes sure he gives what his girl wants, and Levi appreciates that how he is willing to do his best for his little sister only.
Levi can tell before they were dating how Armin would always look at Levi’s little sister, admiring her beauty and character and Levi would think to himself ‘This kid is so lovestruck’
Levi would go to his sister later on and let her know that someone is interested in her, “Who is it!” She would say blushing and looking at Levi, waiting for a response. “Hm...You will find out soon. I think he will ask you out.” Levi would say as he flipped through the papers he had. “Oh come on tell me big bro!!!” Levi liked teasing his sister and he would then say “Okay...I will tell you if you bring me some tea.” And, even after she does that Levi wouldn’t say it and she would want to beat him up.
During missions, he trusts Armin to be with his little sister since he knows he will protect her and have her back while he is away.
Armin wants to prove to Levi that he is capable of taking care of his little sister too! And he would risk his life for her, Levi knowing that would go up to Armin and say “That’s nice and all, but use your brain and don’t die. Besides...that would make my little sister sad and I wont forgive you if you do that.” That was the only time Levi was real and showed his way of trust to Armin, and that made him happy.
When Levi goes to the library, he would spot his little sister with Armin being all lovey dovey as he wanted to go and grab a book. “Tch, what do you think you both are doing?” Levi had no idea that they were actually on a date and both of them were blushing and were shy. But, he lowkey found that adorable. Later on, his sister would yell at him at how he ruined her date and he would say “Yeah yeah....Sorry.”
Armin would ask Levi sometimes what his little sister likes such as food, her favorite jewelry, or literally anything and Levi would say while raising his eyebrows, “Ask her yourself brat.”
For special occasions he would go for Levi to ask what would he do to make his little sister super happy and Levi appreciates the thought. So, he somehow ends up telling him some ideas and it was a secret plan between them to surprise her.
Armin would ask Levi to train him to be stronger after he starts dating Levi’s little sister, so he can be strong and protect her. “You will never reach my level, but sure.” Levi would say teasing Armin and after every training session, Armin is knocked out, laying on the ground. “Levi!!! What did you do now?” His little sister would yell out running towards Armin who was on the ground, “What? The brat said he wanted me to train him.”
this was such a nice and fun idea and I liked how I made hc’s for other aot characters so thanks for the request anon!! let me know if you liked it and if anyone else did let me know by leaving a like or a reblog! Have a great day and I hope this somehow cheered anyone up! <3
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its-deputy-caleb · 3 years
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hellllooooo amigo
so I was wondering if you could write a lil fic about Micah mentioning his birthday is soon but not expecting anyone to care about it but then the reader surprises him with a present and Micah’s like :O
I’ve had this idea stuck in my head for the past week lmao but if it ain’t your thing or if you’ve done something similar before then don’t worry about it my g :)
howdyy amigo <33 so i had all these good ideas and then i was writing and the creative block hit HARD so i high key hate this and its a mess but i hope i pulled through in the end and i kinda went a little off topic but oops enjoy anyway :0
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You never really gave a thought to Micah’s birthday. Not because you didn’t want to celebrate it but simply because he never mentioned it to you. It wasn’t really a tradition to celebrate a gang members birthday although the group would never pass up a chance for drinking. Mostly those celebrations were reserved for big scores.
For some of the special members of the gang however, there were celebrations. On Dutch’s the whole gang would practically feast and party for the entire week and for Miss Grimshaw Javier would perform while Sean gave a right old toast. Dutch even insisted on a party for Molly and you laughed at Karen and Mary Beth who whined the entire night about “Miss fancy pants needing her own royal party”.
Of course even for the other members you’d notice when it was their birthday. You’d seen when close friends of Arthur leave gifts beside your own at his tent and for Jack’s birthday John and Abigail tolerated each other enough to spoil the boy with gifts surrounded by family.
That’s why you thought it was rather odd when Micah, your sweetheart never told you about his birthday. You thought he may have damn well forgot it when you overheard him one night with Bill.
He was mumbling into a bottle of whiskey, half on his way to passing out when he mentioned he was getting too old with another birthday coming up in a few days. Of course the bastard wouldn’t tell you, for all his boasting he’d never been one for parties or celebrating.
So with that in mind you spent the rest of the night formulating a plan to at least celebrate his birthday between the two of you.
-
You’d learnt from Bill the next morning, who wasn’t nearly half as drunk (or hungover) as Micah that his birthday was in exactly three days.
So that left you with three days to formulate just how you’d surprise the man you’d come to love so dearly for his birthday.
Coming up with a celebration was relatively easy— he wasn’t one for crowds, he enjoyed your company and only yours alone and he loved a good whiskey so naturally you’d take him away from the gang’s camp and head down to the Dakota river for the night.
It was finding a good gift that had you tearing your hair out. It was hard trying to find something that would be personal enough for Micah to appreciate when the man in question held few personal belongings, and naturally a new revolver was completely out of the question.
-
You decided to give up on your mission to find him a gift after nearly chewing Swanson’s ear off for singing while you were trying to think and rethink your gift.
So with a new formed headache you headed into valentine to purchase a nice and rather expensive whiskey for tomorrow night.
On your way out of the general store you noticed a beautiful Dutch Warmblood horse trot into the stable behind his owner. The horse had a large white spot over his leg and it couldn’t’ help but remind you of Baylock.
Bingo.
Smiling to yourself you put the whiskey in your saddle bag and walked into the stables to buy Micah his birthday gift, one you’re sure he’s going to love more over any new jacket or gunbelt.
-
Micah’s day went about relatively normally for the most part, waking up together with a kiss and a coffee but you couldn’t help be slightly more affectionate than usual.
You’d spent most of the day together, Micah talking with you while you did chores and you talking with him while he (reluctantly) sat on guard duty. All the normal things about the day went on and you kept your secret until the sun was just about to dip over the mountain.
Micah was leaning against a tree, sharpening his knife when you came up to him and wrapped your arms around his neck. You played with the ends of his hair, taking in the sight of him as he holstered the knife and wrapped his arms around you.
“I’ve got something for you.”
You leant forward and placed a soft kiss to his cheek, smiling against his skin at the curious sound he made.
“Hmm? You sure that something isn’t right here in front of me sweetheart?”
You giggle softly as Micah tries to pull you in closer for a proper kiss, deciding to indulge in his wishes for once. It was his birthday after all.
Pulling away from the surprisingly tender kiss, you give him a gentle smile as you untangle yourself from his arms.
“Common, let me show you.”
You take Micah by the hand, almost dragging him to the other side of camp by the horses which drew the attention from a few of the gang members but you didn’t have a care in the world as anticipation grew.
Leading him over to Baylock who is newly saddled, you watched as Micah stared blankly at it before tentatively bringing a hand up to feel over the soft premium leather.
The saddle was all black to match Baylock’s coat with white inlay in the seat and silver on the horn. All of it was the finest quality at your request and even the bedroll was a finer cotton than most.
Micah couldn’t help the smile that broke out onto his face and he turned to you looking like a kid on Christmas.
“You get this for little old me?”
Your own smile matched his as you wrapped your arms back around his neck once more.
“Well I thought since you’d never ever want another revolver and there isn’t much more you love than those guns and Baylock that you’d want a new saddle for him.”
Micah brought you in for a tight hug after that, managing to lift you slightly as you clung to him for dear life. He looked up at you from your new position.
“Sweetheart there ain’t nothing I love more than I do you—“
He sets you back on the ground, leaning in for a kiss but letting your noses bump and your foreheads touch.
“—worth more to me than any ol’ revolver, I love you.”
You close the gap between the two of you, melting into each other as you feel just how much Micah is in love with you.
“I love you too Mikey, and happy birthday— do you like it?”
The look you give him is one of hope and he can’t help but nod and wrap his arms tighter around your waist.
“Course I like it, but yer didn’t need to pay for this. Looks real fancy.”
Micah looked over the saddle once more, his eyes beaming as he saw how well it complemented Baylock’s coat. He was impressed, of course by the gift but because you had cared enough to get it for him and it only confirmed the feelings he had for you.
“Who says I paid for it?”
You saw Micah smirk at your comment and give a low evil laugh.
“That’s my sweetheart I know and love.”
Of course this time you had paid for the saddle, one of the few items you were willing to pay for but that didn’t mean the two of you didn’t steal practically everything else.
You pull away from Micah and hoist yourself up onto Baylock’s saddle, holding your hand out to a very confused looking Micah.
“Common you, I’ve got a nice bottle of whiskey and two glasses waiting for us.”
-
Down by the river you and Micah were perched up on a large rock that was floating in some shallow water by the river bank. You’d hidden the glasses and whiskey in a tree and the two of you were now laughing together as you drank through it slowly.
Your head was resting under his chin while his arm that wasn’t holding his glass was draped over your shoulder. The moonlight reflecting off the water was more than enough for the two of you to see as he topped up your glass for you.
“Gosh so how old are you now?”
Your words were light and charismatic, the two of you giggling about all sorts of things that night. Micah looked up in contemplation, humming as if he was trying to remember.
“Ehh must be close to forty now— thirty nine I think.”
You whistled, only to cut yourself off with a small laugh as you raised the glass to your mouth.
“You are getting old Mr.Bell, the next thing you know I’ll be able to outshoot you.”
“Sweetheart you can already outshoot me…”
Despite the lighthearted tone of the conversation, you noticed how Micah got uncharacteristically quiet.
“Micah? Are you alright?”
You sit up to face Micah, noticing the flush on his cheeks which wasn’t the fault of the whiskey and the way his attention was on sloshing the liquid in the glass.
“I am gettin’ old sweetheart, at least in terms o’ outlaws—“
“Micah what are you saying?”
You stare at him confused, completely unprepared for what he says next.
“— ‘m saying that i love you and yer the only one I’d ever wanna grow old with.”
Your eyes widen, in fear? in hope? You weren’t quite sure, maybe it was shock at the fact Micah Bell had said he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.
“B-but I thought you didn’t want redemption!? I thought you never wanted to leave the gang, this life!”
Micah shakes his head, putting down your glasses and taking his hands in yours as he squeezes them to reassure himself more than anything.
“I didn’t— I don’t. Oh hell I don’t know what I want but I would throw it all away for you, if its what you wanted.”
He seems to regain some of his confidence after a deep breath and he waves his hands in front of you as he tries to formulate what he wants to say.
“Ya’know have a house and all that…”
You smile gently, your heart melting at the thought that Micah would give up everything for you. You lean forward, taking his hands and threading your fingers before kissing him.
The kiss depends as you momentarily forget where you are and you both start to let your hands wander lower over each other until Micah knocks the glass of whiskey over.
Pulling back from where you’d almost crawled on top of him, you smile sheepishly and sit back down on the rock. This time you sit between Micah’s legs so his arms can rest in your lap and his head can rest on your shoulder.
“Well a house and all that can wait since I’m perfectly happy growing old with you robbing and thieving our way across the plains.”
Your head rests against his own as you feel him litter soft kisses over your shoulder and neck.
“Sounds like something I could get used to.”
Micah whispers his words against your skin and the two of you enjoy the peace and each other’s company. Your hand gives his own a reassuring squeeze, letting your eyes close as you relax and listen to the sound of the river flowing.
“As long as I have you and get to celebrate a hundred more birthdays with you, I’ll be the happiest person in the world.”
Micah squeezes your hand back, sitting up so you could get comfortable against his chest as he rests his chin on top of your head.
“Not sure ‘bout a hundred but you have me for as long as this world lets me darlin’”
You hum sleepily, getting closer and closer to sleep as you listen to his gravelly voice.
“Promise?”
“I Promise”
123 notes · View notes
eggtoasties · 3 years
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Pairing: Eventual Osamu x Reader
Rating: E for fucking Samu in the car :-)
Word Count: 4.4k of Miya twin shenanigans, fluff, then eventual smut
Summary: A hopeful love and a blossomed love; years of wishing on candles and they’re both content.
a/n: @powderblew​ ur the hopeful love my beloved
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Contrary to popular belief, Miya Atsumu does not speed. Yes, he nearly loses his mind on the interstate every other day but his road rage is completely contained to cursing in the confines of his car. Most people think Atsumu’s the reckless driver with his loud personality and penchant for pulling off risky moves on the court, but surprisingly, it’s his counterpart who fully believes that the actual speed limit is at least ten above the posted signage and weaves through lanes with one hand on the wheel and the other on her thigh.
Atsumu got Osamu the car as a birthday gift—black, sleek, and quiet. He had been dropping hints for weeks but Osamu had brushed them off, figuring his brother was spewing incoherent nonsense.
It was the weekend before their birthday. They decided to take a trip to the mountains—it was rare at this point in their young adult lives to have the free time to spend with each other. Osamu was busy with the shop: serving customers, preparing food, and trying new dishes. Getting Onigiri Miya off the ground was a seven day work week with early mornings and late nights. Atsumu on the other hand, had regularly scheduled practices and travel matches with the team. Although his schedule was incredibly hectic, there was a sort of rhythmic regularity to it.
So, for the first weekend in a long time where it would be just them, Atsumu wanted it to be special. Afterall, it was their birthday. Atsumu was the one who drove them to the campsite, taking in the scenery with appreciation, going slowly on the winding roads while mindlessly tapping a beat on the steering wheel. As they got closer and closer to their destination, Osamu could tell his brother was antsy.
His eyes would flicker from the road, to Osamu, then back again. His mindless tapping to the music turned into an incessant drilling and he kept readjusting his legs and changing his hand position on the wheel, fidgeting in his seat.
“Wouldya’ quit that, yer gonna crash the fuckin’ car,” Osamu said, exaggeratingly clutching to the grab handle at the top of his window.
“Yer really gonna yell at me on ma’ birthday that’s jus’ like ya’ Samu—”
“It’s ma’ birthday too ya’ idiot!”
The sound of his brother’s bickering quelled Atsumu’s nerves and he settled in the driver’s seat, humming along to the song playing on the speakers. In response, Osamu turned up the volume, but Atsumu just grinned.  
“You will arrive at your destination in .2 miles,” the smooth voice of the GPS chimed.
Atsumu began fidgeting again and Osamu swore he was gonna punch him the moment they made it out of the death trap.
They pulled into the winding driveway and Osamu banged his head against the dashboard.
“Please tell me ya’ didn’t screw up the reservation,” he said quietly.
“What kinda idiot, do ya’ take me for, Samu?” Atsumu whined. Although Osamu couldn’t see with his forehead pressed against the polished wood interior, Atsumu was smiling.
“Then why is there another car parked in our spot?” Osamu deadpanned, turning his head to his brother, still pressed into the dash.
“Look again an’ eat yer words ya’ scrub.”
Driving slowly forward towards the car and parking next to it, Osamu realized that a bright red bow was tied to the hood. He stilled in his seat and stared dumbly out his window, slowly turning towards his brother.
“Do ya’ like it, Samu?” Atsumu nearly whispered, leaning in close to his brother, eyes wide, committing every micro reaction to memory.
Osamu blinked once. Twice. Then turned back to the car.
“Yeah, Tsumu,” he said shakily, “I really do.”
Against the burning in his throat and the tightening of his eyes, Osamu willed himself to remain composed when he heard rustling. Atsumu took out a crumpled and worn piece of notebook paper, its edges frayed and torn and began to smooth it out in his palms.
He cleared his throat and stared at the empty space across Osamu’s shoulder.
“So, uh…” he began, uncharacteristically shy and Osamu sent a prayer that this wasn’t a speech about how Tsumu had somehow accidentally razed Onigiri Miya to the ground in the short period that he wasn’t there and this was all an elaborate apology.
“I know that this year’s been tough with Onigiri Miya jus’ startin’ out an’ everythin’ but I jus’ wanted to say,” Atsumu trailed off and scratched his ear before suddenly, startling Osamu, squaring his shoulders and directing a piercing stare into his brother’s eyes. “I’m so proud of you Samu!” he nearly yelled, face flushed with embarrassment.
Osamu felt the heat prickle against his neck and all he could do was blink owlishly at his twin.
“What on Earth are ya’ goin’ on about?” he questioned incredulously.
“Okay, okay, wait I wrote it all down,” Atsumu said quickly, smoothing the worn paper once again. He cleared his throat a few times before reading.
“Osamu—”
“Oh my god is this a proposal, why is this so formal?” Osamu asked out loud.
“God, shut yer big ol’ trap wouldya I am tryin’ here,” Atsumu bit back to the amusement of his twin. “Anyways,” he grumbled. “Samu. I’ve been thinkin’ for a while and I jus’ wanted to say thank ya’ for always bein’ there for me.”
Osamu did not often feel stupid. Well, that’s a lie, he thought. It’s been a year since Onigiri Miya’s opening and he was only just beginning to feel as if he was able to call his job stable and that he had a solid understanding of how things should be ran. However, it was not often that his brother made him feel stupid, but here he was, at a loss for words at this uncharacteristic show of appreciation.
Yes, high fives and hugs had always come easily after a particularly clean hit or a perfectly executed pass, but they never sat down like this and talked about how much they appreciated each other. Osamu figured it was unsaid in the little things—how the clothes Atsumu stole in high school always ended back clean in Osamu’s closet, how Osamu usually ended up making two bentos when they still lived together, or how Atsumu had always tried to include Osamu in team bonding even when Osamu was in college.
“I think,” Atsumu said, breaking Osamu out of his thoughts. “That you were what made me work so hard at volleyball. Not because you were the only one that could challenge me,” Osamu scoffed at this. “But because you were the only one I cared to play with for a long time.”
Tears pricked at his eyes and Osamu nodded at his brother to continue.
“An’ thinkin’ back, yer probably the only reason why ma’ teammates didn’t excommunicate me like they did to Tobio-kun,” Atsumu joked and Osamu cracked a smile despite the burning of his throat.
“An’ I know we’ve talked about this before, but I am still really sorry when I went off on ya’ when ya’ told me you were quittin’ volleyball. I don’t mean to beat a dead horse or anything—”
“You sound like Baa-chan,” Samu choked out, still trying to hold back tears, hands balled into fists on his lap.
Undeterred, Atsumu continued to read. “But the fact that fer the first time, ya’ wouldn’t be by my side on the court was jus’ never a possibility I’d considered. So ‘m sorry ‘bout the fuss I made even though I know that’s all old news.” He paused and nodded at Osamu, noting his fists and drew in a shaky breath.
“’Samu, I jus’ want to let ya’ know that I am so endlessly proud to be yer brother and all the work ya’ put in in college and startin’ Miya Onigiri honestly scared me a little,” he said chuckling. “The way you really focus in on somethin’ when yer concentrating was always so intense, but I’d only really seen it with volleyball. But ever since you went to college, and especially with this past year, I can’t believe I fought you to go pro with me because I’d never seen ya’ more fired up or intense than ya’ have been this past year.”
The sides of Atsumu’s paper begin to tear with the force of his grip, and both twins are mirror images of each other. Red in the face, hands in fists, and willing the other to cry first.
“Basically,” Atsumu drawled on, hands slightly shaking, “thank ya’ for bein’ the best brother and teammate I coulda’ ever asked for and I’m so, so, proud to be the brother of the founder of Onigiri Miya.” He lowered the paper from his line of vision and accidentally crumbled it with his hand as he blurt out, “And I love you!” turning even redder in embarrassment. “Even though ya’ never respond to my texts and make fun a’ me when I bring my teammates ‘round,” he quickly added in.
Osamu undid his seatbelt and forcefully opened his door. He heard Atsumu’s confused “huh” and watched as he fumbled with his seatbelt through the windshield as he crossed to the other side. Atsumu stumbled out of the driver’s seat and Osamu captured him in a bone crushing hug. One hand wrapped around his back and the other held Atsumu’s head as he cried into his neck.
He thought back to the first semester of culinary school when he questioned himself every single day if it was the right choice to have made. Learning and practicing different techniques that felt foreign was a hurdle that had seemed impossible at the time. Then, when he graduated and he figured he knew almost everything there was to know about the food industry after hours and hours of lab, internships, and class and began preparations for opening Miya Onigiri, he realized once again that he knew nothing. Even a year after founding Miya Onigiri and he still found himself doubting his success.
But, hearing his idiot brother tell him he was proud—was all he needed. Because Miya Osamu also pushed himself to the upper limits of his physical and mental abilities because his brother was the only one he wanted to compete with. It didn’t matter who else might try and challenge them, at the end of their finish lines, the only person they wanted to see was each other.
The autumnal air was incredibly crisp and although the forest surrounding their luxury cabin was teeming with life, time around them seemed to still as they both cried.
“This is too much, ‘Tsumu,” Osamu sniffled out. “My gift ta’ ya’ was literally like, two hundred dollars.”
“It’s okay,” sniffled Atsumu. He paused. “What’d ya’ get me?”
Osamu pulled away and wiped his face with the bottom hem of his sweater.
“I got ya’ a signed copy of that book you were yappin’ on about with yer favorite author and I got her to make a video for ya’ sayin’ happy birthday and all that—”
“Oh my god,” Atsumu said excitedly, “Yer tellin’ me ya’ got Sonia Barnes to write me a handwritten message and a private video!?”
Osamu grimaced at the snot Atsumu had dripping down his chin. “First of all don’t say it like that, an’ second of all, wipe yer nose or somethin’ ya’ scrub.”
Completley ignoring his brother’s complaints, Atsumu lunged at Osamu, begging him to show him the video. Osamu tapped at his phone, opened up the email attachment, and watched the myriad expressions of surprise, admiration, love, and happiness flicker across Atsumu’s face during a 20 second video while red eyed and swollen. He mused that this was possibly the best birthday they ever had.
.
“Let’s take this baby on a test drive,” Osamu said, eagerly waiting by the door as Atsumu watched his birthday video for the umpteenth time.
That Sonia Barnes was a very pretty lady, Osamu reasoned, but if he had to hear her chirp, “Happy Birthday Tsumu!” one more time, she was going to be the cause of fratricide.
.
Settling into the leather seat, Osamu pressed the start button and nearly cooed at the soft rumble of the engine.
Throwing himself into the passenger’s seat Atsumu said, “Let’s figure out how ta’ connect to Bluetooth so I can hear ma’ angel on speaker,” fiddling with the touch screen.
Osamu grabbed Atsumu’s phone and threw it in the backseat and put the car in drive just as Atsumu started to clamber in the back for it. He peeled down the driveway as Atsumu screamed and picked up speed down the secluded road as Atsumu managed to get back in his seat and secure the seat belt.
The pretty autumn foliage was a blur of orange and reds and Osamu breathed in the smell of new leather and wood polish.
“S-slow down!” Atsumu yelled, quickly activating the lock function on the seatbelt and gripping the grab handle with both hands. “I-is this b-because I told the whole team you’d giv’ em’ free food if they said they were my teammate,” he screamed, “I’ll tell ‘em nevermind!”
Osamu rolled down the windows and the sun roof and laughed as the wind ran through his hair while his brother cried for the second time that day.
.
A year later and Osamu’s still in the driver’s seat of his car, but this time, she’s in the passenger’s seat. They have all the windows down and he’s speeding along the coast of Hyogo, sea breeze whipping through their hair and the sound of waves breaking in the distance.
She had planned a full day for his birthday: brunch at their favorite restaurant, a walk through the shopping district, and a homemade dinner with a fruit tart from his favorite bakery. Now that he had two years of experience running Onigiri Miya, he could afford to step away from the shop every so often. Unfortunately, his counterpart was on the other side of the world for a match, but they managed to squeeze in a short videocall despite the time difference.
“’Samu!” Atsumu screamed from the other line, “Happy Birthday!”
Wincing, Osamu turned the volume of his phone down as she giggled and wished his brother a Happy Birthday.
“What’d ya’ plan for Samu’s birthday,” Atsumu asked her, “good luck beatin’ ma’ gift from last year—”
“Tsumu!” Osamu berated.
“Unfortunately, my research job doesn’t pay as much as being a pro-volleyballer,” she rolled her eyes, “but I do have some fun things lined up,” she said, smiling softly at Osamu to which Atsumu gagged.
“Ya’ scrub, just ‘cause yer jealous—”
“Tsumu!” she interrupted, “did you get our gift? We were a little nervous about the international shipping but your hotel said they got it so—”
“Yes!” Atsumu exclaimed, screen blurry as he shuffled around his hotel room. He set his phone down and propped it up, showing them the neatly packaged box. “I can’t believe ya’ got me another signed copy of Sonia Barnes’s book—I couldn’t even get this one off preorder, it was so popular—”
“Did ya’ open the envelope yet?” Osamu asked impatiently.
“Of course I did! I always open the letter before the present, what do ya’ take me for, Samu?” Atsumu whined, but the duo noticed how Atusmu’s hands were off screen and they could hear quiet tearing noises in between pauses.
Rolling their eyes, they patiently waited for Atsumu to unsubtly open their envelope. They watched as Atsumu quickly scanned the contents of the letter and Osamu hit screen record as his brother’s mouth dropped open.
“T-tickets to a live reading and meet and greet?” Atsumu whispered to himself. He pulled the letter closer to his face and read it over and over again before gingerly setting the cardstock down and gently looking into the envelope to produce two ticket stubs. Carefully placing the tickets back into the envelope, Osamu failed to cover his snickers as Atsumu’s lower lip trembled.
“I know it’s no car,” she said, “but I do happen to know people who know people, so I hope you like your gift, ‘Tsumu” she said kindly.
Atsumu suddenly held the phone close to his face and Osamu could see his brother’s ears turn pink.
“Yer the best sister in law I coulda’ ever asked for, I don’t know why yer with that good fer nothin’ scrub—yer not married yet, so ya’ still have time to run away, but ‘Samu, ya’ better not mess it up,” he rambled, roughly wiping his nose with the sleeve of his jacket.
Osamu scoffed and she placed a placating hand on his shoulder.
“I can’t believe I get ta’ meet ma’ angel,” Atsumu mumbled to himself in disbelief, pacing in his hotel room, running his hands through his hair. “Angel, angel, angel—I gotta bring ma’ copy of her books with ma’ notes! I have so many questions for her, like how she came up with the storyline—didya know she went to school in New York City? Isn’t that the coolest? And she made a video for me for ma’ birthday last year,” he broke his monologue to gasp. “Do ya’ think she’ll remember me—”
Osamu put him on mute and groaned.
“Maybe we shoulda jus’ gotten him those fancy mugs,” he complained, leaning heavily into her side.
She rubbed the sides of his neck as she watched with amusement as Atsumu continued his ramblings, completely unaware that she and Osamu were having a side conversation.
“But look how happy he is, Samu,” she crooned, giggling as Osamu pinched his nose bridge. But she knew that Osamu was the one who spent hours scouring the web for those tickets and sent several emails to Sonia Barnes’s manager for a signed copy.
Watching his brother run his mouth with no regard to himself or his girlfriend, Osamu clicked the unmute button and nearly yelled, “We get it ya’ scrub, we get it!”
“Let me be happy why dontcha!” Atsumu retorted.
“Alright well I’m gonna spend ma’ birthday with ma’ real girlfriend,” Osamu taunted, finger hovering over the ‘end call’ button.
“Once Sonia meets me she’s gonna fall in love, just ya’ wait!”
She yelled one last, “Happy Birthday!” before Osamu disconnected the call and tackled her into the bed.
.
For the end of his birthday, Osamu requested a car ride. It was just past sunset; the sky’s vibrant pinks and oranges faded into a cool indigo and the stars were extra bright in the rural area they were driving through.
They rode in comfortable silence, listening to seagulls call their good nights and the wind beating against the car. The supple leather of the seat underneath her contrasted with the rough pads of Osamu’s fingertips on her thigh and she stared out at the horizon, perpetually in awe of the beauty of the coast line. Here, twinkling city lights were hardly discernible specks in the distance and the only tall structures were the trees dotting the cliffside.
They rose higher in altitude until they were surrounded by lush forest—rustling underbush and singing cicadas took over the sound crashing waves. He pulled into a secluded nook that overlooked a cliff and she couldn’t believe they were only a forty minute drive from the main city.
He killed the engine and unbuckled her seat belt while she was still leaning forward, face close to the windshield, taking in the scenery.
“I’m feelin’ a bit neglected over here,” Osamu said, soft grin taking over his face as he watched her, lips parted and eyes wide.
“Sorry Samu,” she said, still looking out the glass, “it’s just so incredible here.”
“I told ya’ I knew a spot,” he teased and she intertwined her hand with his.
He pulled her arm towards him as leaned over the middle console so his lips caught her neck when she lurched towards him. Her surprised chuckle turned into a content hum, fluttering her eyes closed as he kissed the pulse point of her throat, her exposed shoulder, then where her neck met her clavicle. From there, he dragged his lips slowly to her ear and grinned when he felt her clutch at his sweater.
Nipping her ear and tracing the shell with his tongue, rough palms kneaded her thighs and his fingers played with the hem of her skirt. He let out a heavy breath when she brushed against his tightening pants and he smirked when she involuntarily shivered.
“Do ya’ like this?” he asked, mouth kissing down the expanse of her chest, pulling the hem of her shirt low.
She arched her back into him and guided his hand under her shirt and he grinned when she impatiently unhooked her bra and took it and her shirt off in one swift motion.
“Does that answer your question?”
Eyes half lidded, lips slick with spit and plump from his repeated ministrations, she had one leg folded under her and the other anchored to the floor. Fully facing him, she cocked her head to the side and dragged her eyes down his body, lingering for a moment before directing her heavy gaze at him. She leaned back against the door as he leaned forward on the middle console and she ran a hand slowly from her knee, teasing a peek under her skirt, tracing a finger around her navel, then making her way upwards, rolling a nipple with two fingers while slowly rocking her hips.
Osamu’s lips parted and his eyes flickered from her hands to her face as she brought her other hand to rub at the cotton beneath her legs. Gaze hungry, he licked his lips and rolled his neck, languidly leaning back against his door, mirroring her.
“Gonna give me a birthday show?” He rasped, slowly unbuttoning his pants and palming his length through his boxers.
Skirt bunched at the waist giving him an unhindered view of the growing wet stain between her legs and Osamu felt himself tighten at the sight. He wanted to press his nose against the ruined fabric and lap at her through her pink panties, he wanted to curl a finger in her and listen to her keel for him, he wanted to—
“Take your shirt off,” she demanded.
“I thought it was ma’ birthday,” he chuckled but does as she asks, pulling the fabric from the back of his neck. He tossed the garment to the backseat and lazily looked back at her.
The tops of her cheeks are flushed and her breasts shake with each pant. She’s worked two slender fingers from the side of her underwear and Osamu watches with rapt attention as her pretty folds are presented to him.
“Touch yourself, Samu.”
“Again with the demands,” he complained but freed himself from the confines of his boxers and matches the pace she’s set on herself.
“Fuck,” she whined, moving faster. The hand teasing her nipples moved south to pinch at her clit and Osamu couldn’t wait anymore.
He nearly launched himself to her, abdomen uncomfortably resting on top of the center console and she seemed all too satisfied with the result. He buried his face between her legs and groaned with her as he sucked and lapped at her overstimulated bundle of nerves through soaked cotton.
“Itadakimasu,” he growled and she rolled her eyes at the line.
Long languid licks interspersed with quick flicks of his tongue, he took her right to the edge of her orgasm. Her thighs clenched around his head while her nails dragged through his gray hair and she rocked her hips against his mouth. Toe curling heat had her buck helplessly against his tongue, rough hands gripping her in place as she reached her peak, but at the last second, he pulled away.
Her gasp was lost with the loud bang his head made as it slammed against the car ceiling and he let out a string of curses as he tried to fit in the passenger’s seat with her. She half stands, leaning back on the glove department as he sat down and she couldn’t help but giggle when he cursed at how slowly the seat was reclining back.
But just as quick, he grabbed her by the hands and has her straddle him. The seat is narrow but neither of them mind as he slowly entered her. She gripped at the back of his head as he teased a nipple and sucked constellations across her chest while her other hand gripped the grab handle, giving her more leverage.
Osamu slowly rocked into her and he captured her moans in a kiss. He gave her a second to adjust to his length before slamming into her, head falling back into the headrest as he watched her bounce above him.
Beautiful, was all he could think. Hair wild around her shoulders, a glistening sheen of perspiration across her forehead and chest, and the incredible sound of her slick around him. He was in heaven.
He slid his thumb between her parted lips and she immediately began to suck. She bobbed her head back and forth while giving kitten licks at the tip and nipping the underside of his thumb.
“Good girl,” he cooed as he pressed his finger further back in her throat and watched as her eyes rolled back and she rocked her hips even faster against his.
Removing his thumb and making a show of putting it in his mouth, he pressed the wet digit against her clit and grinned as her moans became louder.
The sweet call of his name as she begged him to make her finish led him to snap his hips up, rubbing against the spongy bit of her inner walls and he held her close to his chest as they came undone together.
Breathing heavily, he rested his forehead on her shoulder and watched as a rivulet of sweat ran down the valley of her breasts and he shifted his hips forward, just now noticing the dull ache in his thighs. She shuddered against him and he kissed her shoulder, her cheek, then her other cheek.
“We really have to thank Tsumu for the car,” she said, chuckling.
“Yeah?” he questioned, running his blunt nails across her back, “should we tell him what we used it for?”
She scrunched her nose and Osamu’s heart clenched too. Wrapping her arms around his neck, soaking in the warmth of his warm body, her lips ghosted the side of his cheek and he shuddered at the tingles running down his back with the contact.
“Happy Birthday, ‘Samu,” she whispered sweetly.
Rocking into her again just to hear her breath tick, he nestled his head into her neck and smiled.
183 notes · View notes
womenofwonder · 3 years
Text
Option on RWBY ships:
Btw, I don’t usually ship characters. Romance is usually the least interesting part of the story for me so expect a lot of meh.
Arkos: obviously I love this, it’s perfect
Blacksun: ehh, it’s cute. I started out feeling kinda meh, it was sweet but not really interesting, but now it’s growing on me. Ironically the same thing is happening with Bumblebee, although I still like Blake and Yang better platonically
Bunanas: so this is a ship between Velvet and Sun, and it’s honestly really cute to imagine even if it is completely random. I like it better then Blacksun…I think?
Candy Cane: this is just weird. I can’t imagine Nora being anything but a older sister to Oscar. The age gap makes it creepy too, not the four years is much of a gap, but when your teenagers it’s a big gap.
Chocolate Arc: this is hilarious to imagine but obviously yeah, Coco isn’t going to fall for someone like Jaune
Cinnabun: I barely know anything about Yatsuhashi but he and Velvet are cute, I guess? Still like her better with Sun
ClockRose: heck no!
Coconuts: again, can’t see Sun doing anything but annoying Coco. I really don’t like the whole ‘badass jerk of a girl falls for goof ball trope.’ It always ends up feeling sexist in several ways
Combat Boots: honestly outside of an AU I can’t see Yang ever forgiving Mercury much less falling in love with him. Also Mercury just doesn’t deserve her
Combat goggles: I feel like Yang and Neptune would have fun causally dating each other and slowly realizing they actually like (Blake/Sun/Jaune/whoever) and become each other’s wingmen. That fanfic better be lying around somewhere
Crimson Lotus: okay, if I didn’t love Renora and Rosegarden so much I’d probably ship this. It’s really cute
Crimson Sun: this feels like an excuse to write lemons of the two hottest characters
Crimson wings: look I understand most of the shipping heroes with villains because they’re both hot and the villain/hero dynamic is always fun. But Cardin…he’s not even hot. He’s not even interesting. And yet people ship him with Ruby? Why?
Daddie Issues: you know I see where this is coming from but they would just end up murdering each other.
Dairy Farm: obviously this is downright creepy in cannon, but in an au where Neo isn’t evil and both are closer in age, this would be adorable. I feel like Neo’s main problem is she’s incredibly lonely—other then Roman no one bothers to understand or talk to her. If Oscar reached out to her, and she began to protect him…it would be perfect. In way even better then Rosegarden because I think Neo would still be a bit of pycho even when good, and it would be fun to see her lose it when Salem hurts him.
Ilia/Adam: I just want to say I am forever grateful the show went out of its way to avoid this obnoxious, cliche ship from being canon
Dragon slayer: I see why people ship Jaune and Yang, I really do. They’re both the team mom/dad of their team, they’ve got the whole goofball/badass thing going (which is a trope I do like when the badass isn’t a jerk), they both have a good sense of humor, etc. But I just can’t see them as romantic. It feels really weird. I can’t even explain why. I understand shipping them but I really can’t ship them myself.
Emercury: I really love this ship, but I also don’t mind at all if the show decides to make them platonic. I enjoy their relationship in general and it works either way.
Oscar/Emerald: again, feel creepy. I love the idea of a sibling relationship and can’t see them possibly being romantic even without the age gape.
Cinder/Qrow: yeah again. Both are sexy and good for angsty lemons. I’m not into that stuff so I don’t ship them
Fall Stinger: I just don’t know why anyone would ship Tyrian with anyone. Unless it was Salem and even that is super creepy
Firerobber: I like villain relationships but Roman already has Neo and Cinder is a hot mess. Literally
Firewall: I don’t know why anyone would ship Watts with anyone. He’s even worst less ship-able then Tyrian
Footloose: I don’t actually ship it but just imagine Mercury and Melanie bonding over weaponized feet.
Freckles: Yeah this is just painful. The two most adorable characters (Penny and Oscar), who go through the worst things imaginable. It’s endless fluff, angst, and whump, and I love cute romance and tragic romances, so this is definitely something I ship.
Frostbite: seriously, this is so weird and toxic. Having Adam fall for Weiss or vice versa. Maybe it would work in an AU or something but it’s just too creepy
Funky Beats: it’s cute, I ship it.
Gelato: yeah I love healthy villainous relationships! Neo and Roman are freaking adorable, and I’m sad that we didn’t see more of them together.
Grandmasters: I obviously don’t ship Salem and Ozpin because that’s just creepy, but I do like their romance. I like tragic romances, and this probably the most tragic one in existence
Greek Lotus: I don’t see the chemistry and crashes two of my favorite ships so…
Green Knight: well, she kinda helped kill his last girlfriend so…unless it’s AU this isn’t going to work. Even if it is an AU. This feels like another ship made solely for lemons
Velvet/Cardin: yeah, a bigot changing his mind when he falls in love with a minority isn’t cute. Isn’t sweet. It isn’t romantic. I don’t even excuse lemons that use this trope. Even porn ought to be above that
Weiss/Cardin: WOULD EVERYONE STOP SHIPPING CARDIN WITH PEOPLE
Hummingbird: it’s hard to ship something when you only know one character, but I was interested in the theory that Qrow was actually Ruby’s father. But then in season 7 Qrow’s description of Summer made me rethink it, and it didn’t sound anything like how you’d describe a romantic relationship. So I don’t really like that theory anymore
Iceberg: this is just cliche and boring. I get them dating but it wouldn’t last that long
Flynt/Weiss: I really love this one, it’s my favorite ship with Weiss. I don’t want it to actually happened in cannon because that would be random, but I feel like it would be fun for both their characters. And they both share an interest in music. I’m imagining an AU where he gets her into jazz and she starts singing it at all her concerts to the horror of Jaques.
Iron Maiden: honestly what. Why. Gross
Iron witch: well I definitely see why people like it. I actually wouldn’t mind it being cannon, It’d be a good combination of funny/tragic and I’d like to see Glynda mentoring Winter
Jailbirds: this just feels forced and also Qrow is probably too old for her. I like their relationship and don’t want it to be romantic
Knight fall: lemon ship. Moving on
Knight Life: I feel like Jaune just gets shipped with everyone but this is cute I guess
Lancaster: it’s cute, but I can’t ship it because it feels cliche. I was worried that Jaune was going to be her love interest when they first met and was relieved to see him with Pyrrha instead. It just feels forced and boring to have him end up with Ruby
Pyrrha/Mercury: this really popular for some unfathomable reason. I like Mercury but Pyrrha deserves better
Marrowgold (May/Marrow): I just don’t see it
Nikong: Pyrrha and Sun would be cute together, but I don’t really love this ship. It’s kinda meh.
Nora’s Arc: no. Just no. It technically would work but their platonic relationship is way too good to lose
Old Silver: this is Maria/Pietro, and I think it’s adorable. They both strike me as really flirty for their ages and both are very good mentors. They can be the crazy grandparents of the team
Ozglyn: just don’t see it
Phoenix: yeah Raven was a horrible girlfriend/wife. I don’t ship her Taiyang
QuickSilver: Ruby deserves better than Mercury.
Rehab (Qrow/Glynda): the fact that this is called rehab explains why I don’t ship it
ReNora: yeah, this is probably my favorite ship. I don’t think I have to explain why.
Robotic Knight: I briefly shipped this but now disagree
Rosegarden: I really love Rosegarden, they’re just too adorable together, though the whole Ozpin does make it a little awkward
Rosewick: I can’t see this happening, even in an AU
Coco/Fox: I don’t know enough about Fox to really ship them, but the fact that Coco canonically slaps his butt during battle definitely makes me want to
Mercury/Neo: I could see this working. It would be pretty cute
Silent Knight: again, it would have to be an AU and even then I don’t see it working
Snowbird: so at first I really liked the idea of Qrow and Winter being ex’s, but now that I think about it he has to be at least twenty years older then her. Also, I have to say that while they have chemistry I think they would just end up killing each other
Speakeasy (Flynt/Coco): I got to say I like this ship and could see them having a lot of chemistry together
Strawbanna: I just can’t see Ruby and Sun together. It feels weird
Sunflakes: Can’t see it working
Sunflowyr (Ren/Yang): don’t see any chemistry. Again this just seems random
Tauradonna: this is obviously as toxic as you get.
The Hunt (Cardin/Blake): stop shipping Cardin with anyone!
Mercury/Cinder: Mercury is way too young, and even if he wasn’t this would be really weird. Also Cinder makes him look like a stable, peaceful person, so also no.
Toxic Petals: I swear I’m done with this. No more Cardin, Tyrian, or Watts ships. They too gross
Velveteen Knight: Aw, they’d be cute together
White Knight: I really hate this ship. It’s so obnoxious and boring, and nearly falls into the jerky badass/goofball trope I hate
Winter Soldier: ew, no, Ironwood is like her dad
Wise Dragon: anyone care to explain why this is so popular? Sage barely has any character to him, I can’t ship him with anyone
Yellow rose: Yeah, I kinda ship this, but again, it’s difficult when you barely know one character
IronQrow: I understand why you would ship this but I just don’t see it. Guys can hug without being gay you know
Martial arts: why?
Noah’s Arc: why?
Sea Monkeys: again I understand why you could ship it but I don’t. They’re obviously just friends to me
Shovel Knight: like most Oscar ships it feels weird. Jaune is obviously a big brother to him
TaiQrow: As funny as it is for Tai to sleep with every member of his team, I don’t ship it.
Fair game: I really can’t stand Clover so again, don’t ship it
Achilles heel: Cinder literally kills Pyrrha, why would you ship them?
Baked Alaska: lemon ship
Black glass: annnd, another lemon ship.
Blood Mint: yeah I don’t see Emerald and Ruby ever being a couple
Catmelon: I found Ilia’s crush on Blake kinda cringy and I can’t see them being a couple
ColdMurder (Weiss/Cinder): even in an au I don’t see it working
Cold Steel (Penny/Winter) eeewww, they’re practically sisters
Cream Machine (Neo/Penny): I mean…if she wasn’t evil…and wasn’t so much older…it might work? Maybe?
Crosshares: cute but I feel like Velvet is too much of a doormat for Coco
Digital Clock: Ciel obviously didn’t care much for Penny, and she was barely a character at all. I don’t see it
Pyrrha/Nora: don’t see it, and also can’t stand the idea of breaking up the two best ships
Falling Petals: I get that Cinder is hot, but can we stop shipping her with the kids she’s trying to murder? Because I can see several things wrong with that
Freezerburn: again, for no reason that I can think of this ship just doesn’t work for me. Much like Dragonslayer it just feels weird
Gingersnaps (Penny/Nora): that would be chaotic. I can’t really see them romantically though like most Penny ships it would be cute
Guilty Conscience (Bree/Winter): oh please no. They really don’t have any reason to be together
Ladybug: I just can’t see Blake with Ruby at all. Blake feels way to old even though she’s only older by two years.
Milk and Cereal (Ruby and Pyrrha): I guess it would work but I just don’t any chemistry
Mint chocolate (Emerald/Coco): if Coco managed to forgive her for everything that happened at Beacon I could maybe see this happening. There is some chemistry
Mommy issues: Nah, can’t see this working out.
Monochrome: Blake and Weiss have never had any romance chemistry despite plenty of opportunity to have it, so again, I see them as strictly platonic and shipping them feels almost like incest. I know that doesn’t make sense
Nordic Winter: I can’t see Weiss handling Penny, but again, any Penny ship is pretty cute
Nuts and Dolts: I would ship, but I like them together platonically too well. Definitely understand the ship, though I find it funny that Ruby, who insist she likes weapons better then people, would fall in love with a personified weapon. I know that’s probably racist against robots
Overheating (Penny/Cinder): I take back what I said about every Penny ship being cute
PennyWeiss: but this one is pretty cute
Pink Lemonade: can you imagine the chaos of Yang and Nora dating each other? They both need someone with a cooler head to keep them in check
Scheenoks: with Weiss’s fangirling I can definitely see were this is coming from, but Weiss is too mean for Pyrrha
Steadfast: I really don’t ship any of the ace-ops with anyone. I found them all boring and annoying except for Marrow
Strawberry Shortcake (Neo/Ruby): not seeing it
Sugar Rush (Ruby/Nora): Again, too much chaos. They both need chill partners. And I love Rosegarden and ReNora too much
Thunder cat (Blake/Nora): don’t see any chemistry between them
WhiteRose: I can see why this is shipped and I don’t dislike WhiteRose shippers. I just prefer Rosegarden, and find Weiss and Ruby working better together romantically
Bumblebee: again, I see this working better platonically, not romantically. It kind of annoyed me at first, but it is growing on me, much like Blacksun. I still like Blacksun better though
Enabler: No.
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mxvladdy · 3 years
Note
I have a prompt idea! The Brothers reacting to an MC that can regenerate after they die. Someone stabbed them? The wound will close in a bit. Did they fall from a high place and their body shattered? It’s all good, they’re body’ll just snap everything back into place as they’re conscious. We’re they poisoned? They’ll treat it like a stomach bug and be fine the next day. Funny part is MC could tell them the worst ways they died during their childhood in a lighthearted way which makes things more disturbing, especially since demon threats against them won’t work.
Ok first time I read this prompt I had a good laugh bc all I could think about was an MC that made that little squeaking noise those rubber chickens make when they inflate every time they regenerated lmaoooo. Could you imagine the pavlovian response all the brothers get if they hear a squeak? Like Lucifer would be trying to sleep and Cerberus finds one of his old chew toys and the fear it brings is legendary.
TW: Death, Blood, Injuries
Lucifer
When you first tell him he has no idea if it was a crude joke or not. You are so blasé about something that should traumatize you. He hates how you snort at his every threat. What good is blackmail if you don’t go for it?
He does not believe you at first. Just another little human talking big trying to impress him. He would keep a keen eye on you too, making sure they have no reason to get even so much of a scrape on their knee. Believe you or not he doesn’t need this program to fail. Then Belphie happened. Seeing your lifeless body made so many things happen in his mind he felt physically ill. He hadn’t felt like crying so hard since Lilith…
And then you sit up and crack your spine, like you were waking up from a nap instead of getting up after being thrown from the second story.
He-is relieved, and terrified. Were humans supposed to do that? He doesn't remember reading this particular ability in his father’s schematics. He believes you now nonetheless.
But he still doesn’t let you just go getting hurt whenever you feel like it.
“Absolutely not.” He shakes his head firmly. He is unfazed by your cute little pout and huffing.
“Lotan is friendly!” You try again pushing the form back at him defiantly. Lucifer picks it up again against his better judgment and scoffs. Friendly, if Lotan is friendly then Cerberus was a saint. “Come on what’s the worst that can happen? I’m out of school for a day or two if things get dicey.” You plead leaning up and over his desk. Ugh. He rubs at his temple in annoyance.
“The fact that you think skipping a few days of school because you became fish food as a minor hindrance terrifies me.” He drolls but picks up his feathered quill irregardless. You squeal in delight and hug him fiercely, managing to pull a smile out of him. They grab the liability agreement and run out the door already shouting for Levi to hurry up before Lucifer changes his mind. He chuckles leaning back in his chair. Fine, if they are happy… let it be on their head if it severs. Wait- could they regenerate from that? “Shit.”
Mammon
He believes you. Not because he takes their word for it but the first night on duty as your caretaker you fall out of his balcony window.
One minute they are having a heated argument about his unwanted duties, him hovering over you while you lean up against the railing refusing to break eye contact. Next thing he knows the old stone gives and you both tumble.
He has wings and catches himself. You- not so much. He can still hear the sickening crunch of bone meeting stone when he lays awake at night. The first thing he worries about is how much trouble he would be in with Lucifer that he failed again. He's a blubbering mess over your body swearing he would do better if they would just get up. Whatever you want it’s theirs if you just open their eyes.
And of course, you do. He won’t admit to the scream that erupts from his mouth when you ask him to swear on that deal or they are going to Lucifer as soon as they can feel their legs. He agrees readily, glad his hide is saved for now.
When you two become closer he figures why not make some money off of this little quirk. Enter the troublesome duo of grifters.
You whimper, hamming it up for the terrified looking demon glazing between your broken leg and Mammon wiggling his ring heavy fingers at them. “Look what ya did to my human.” He tuts. “What, ya don’t look both ways when riding.” He kicks at the upended bike by his feet. The demon sputters swearing that they did and neither of them had been in the way.
“Mammon~” His human sniffles flashing him a teary eyed pout. To the other lesser demon it looked like a plea, but Mammon knew it was a warning that your leg would start mending soon.
“Who do you think is gonna pay for this?” He goes in for the kill waving his free arm down at his human’s prone form. “You want Lucifer or Diavolo ta hear about this? Ya know this human is special to us.” The demon blanches and shakes its head. Terrified it threw its wallet at the avatar of greed and bolted leaving their bike and bag behind. Waiting for the demon to be completely out of earshot Mammon turns with a dazzling smile. “Damn,” He whistles, helping his human back to their feet. Already the bone and skin had mended leaving only an ugly red stain on the fabric of their uniform. “I think you just moved up the ranks of my most favorite things. Gonna rival Goldie soon if this picks up...” He opens the wallet and pockets the handful of cash in it, tossing the worn fabric to the street floor.
“Hey.” Mammon looks down at you. You were now scowling eying his pant pocket. “Don’t forget your side of the bargain.” He chuckles raising his hands in defeat.
“Alright- Alright. One stupidly expensive ice cream coming up.” He can't hide his blush when you hug his arm close to your chest, excitedly leading him back to the main street.  
Leviathan
Oh like in that one anime???
But really, he is the first to take your word for it. Finds it kinda neat. Not that he is going to test it. Who would he have to play with if you were just yanking his chain?
He listens to absolutely spine chilling tales of your little “mishaps” as a child. But you brush off his concern. Don’t worry about it! Makes for great stories. To tell right?
Of course, when he sees it first hand he forgets for a moment that you would eventually feel better. He left his tank open one night to clean out some debris gunking up the water pump. Damn things get stalled so frequently now. He turns his back for a moment to get a tool and the next he smells human blood in the water!
He scoops you out of the water before whatever fiendish creatures he holds in his aquarium can take a bite and gets you to solid ground. He is panicking hardcore, he doesn’t feel a pulse. He sees that they smashed their head, blood pooling sluggishly down your temple. You must have slipped on the wet tank edge and hit their head.
Just when he is about to name another Henry in your honor you pop up spitting out whatever water that had gotten into their lungs. They flash him a knowing smirk at his red-rimmed eyes and joke that they have a killer headache.
Nurse Levi to the rescue!
Levi checks in on you again, leaning over the edge of his tank. “D-don’t you move a muscle!” He shouts down to you. Squinting he sees a hand emerging from the mound of pillows and blankets inside his tub-bed. you shoot him a quick thumbs up before turning your attention back to his giant flat screen. “You sure you don’t need Barbatos or some pain meds?” He frets. He was close to just giving up on the pump and coming to take care of his miraculously healed guest.
“Levi I’m fine! Not even sleepy.” Your muffled reply wafts up to him. You push down some of the blankets to give him a relaxed smile. “See not even a scar.” You show him the side of their head that had been cut. Sure enough, nothing was there but a smoothed patch of skin. It lessens some of his panic, but barely. He knew internal damage was still a thing to humans.
Finishing up quickly with the pump he slithers back down to your side sheepishly. He had apologized what felt like a thousand times, but he was ready to drop a couple thousand more if need be. His looming causes you to look up from the anime you were watching. The flashing blue and yellow lights illuminate their calm gaze. None of the panic he felt seemed to transfer to you. “Want to join me?” You pat at the covers. “Waters warm.” You chuckle at their own joke pulling the blue covers down and away to give him room to join them.
“I-if you’re sure.” He stammers wiping at his face to hide his flush. You nod, patting the empty side again. He joins you snuggling close, he runs a hand where a gruesome scar had been not even an hour again. You nuzzle in close. His slightly cool fingers felt great on your skin before turning back to the screen completely nonplussed.
What a weird human...
Satan
Much like Lucifer doesn’t believe you. He has never heard or read about humans being able to do that. Will not believe them and gets annoyed by the “fake” stories you kept insisting were real.
The fact that a single human has such a vividly morbid imagination fascinates him, but he won’t divulge in your little fantasy. There is only so much foolishness he can deal with.
He forgets about it after a while and you stop bringing it up. If he doesn’t believe you so be it, he’ll find out one day surely, you aren’t exactly the most careful with your body. When he does find out it about does him in.
He had warned them of climbing on his bookshelves. He doesn’t have them tethered down or stable. He doesn’t need them to be. His shelves would never even dare to topple on him. But this weak little human takes his room as a personal jungle gym, climbing up him and his things for a book. They could just ask but Devil’s forbid they did something halfway intelligent.
You hear him fretting through the fog coating your senses. His fingers shakily poking at your crushed abdomen and legs all bent akimbo clearing broken. “Don’t be dead-please don’t do this.” He hisses about ready to use magic to put you back together again. You pull your strength and grab his hand before he can interfere with your natural healing ability.
He starts, green eyes looking down relieved and amazed at you. “Don’t.” You croak, already feeling your lungs and rib cage healing. “I’m good.”  
“You’re good!” He shouts voice cracking in exasperation. “I’ve seen the aftermath of Beel’s feeding rampages that have looked better!” You snort pushing his hands away to rest up on your elbows. Eh- he wasn’t exactly wrong.
“I look like a chewed-up burger huh?” You joke laughing at his stunted and slightly disgusted look. “I’ll be ok, just help me up? My legs are always tingly after healing.” Wordlessly he follows your instructions amazed at how well you are handling all of this. Were you actually human? You stand on wobbly legs bending and popping your joints. You give yourself a quick check over “Tada!” You give him two very bloody thumbs ups once you see that you are back to normal. “It’s all good!”
He shakes his head bewildered. “I-if you say so.” Satan wrinkles his nose looking at the mess of your clothes and his room. “Go wash up. I’ll get you a new set of clothes and work on this mess.” You nod already heading to his slightly cleaning bathroom. His warm hand wraps around your wrist catching you mid stride. “Don’t tell anyone about this ok?” He pleads. If anyone knew that he had been so foolish, he would never live it down.
You nod miming zipping your lips. “Betcha believe me know huh?”
He rolls his eyes turning to the task at hand. “Don’t push your luck, or next time I’ll leave you under a shelf.”    
Asmodeus
Believes you. You have never lied before so why do it now over something so trivial. Humans die all the time and if you say you can't then ok. He asks tons of questions about how you found out about this.
He doesn't like the stories you tell but doesn't find it off-putting how easily you talk about it. He's been around the block with mortals and they cope in all sorts of ways.
He cuddles you and coos over every story you tell then shoots off hundreds of compliments about your complexion. It's amazing how well your skin holds up to all the foolish actions of your past.
Even though he trusts you and your stories he still is super careful with you. You are not going to get hurt on his watch, absolutely not! Will patch you up if you need it all while gripping about your foolishness.
But accidents happen, and even the most watchful demon trips up sometimes.
Asmo tuts over you rubbing at the potion burning away at your flesh. "I told you the maroon bottle love." You hiss as the antiseptic hits muscle.
"Maroon and burgundy look the same, bite me!" He clicks his tongue and bites off the argument brewing within him. How can you not see how different the two colors are. You grouch some more while he works on getting the rest of his potion off your cheek. You had just wanted to use one of his acne toner, the one that smelled like cucumber and rose. He was preoccupied with his eyeliner but told you to just grab it from his shelf. He had a lot of bottles and a lot of them were definitely not for human use. 
You unfortunately just happened to pick one of them. The one you nabbed was a toner built for his stronger skin. It ate away at your cheeks and flesh of your palm on contact. It's burning and tingling making you yelp in surprise. Luckily for you, Asmo acted fast coming up from behind and knocking the toner-soaked cotton pad from your reddening fingers. He curses at you the whole way to his bathroom. Done with your right cheek and hand he nods in approval, seeing your flesh already knitting back together. "At least you have lovely bone structure. Ahhh~ I'm jealous!" He pokes a nail at the exposed bone of your cheekbone. The mending muscles and nerves almost growing over his nail before he could pull away. You quirk a brow.
"Want them? I'm pretty sure I could regrow my jawline before anybody would notice. " You shrug taking the washcloth from him to dap at your left cheek. Asmo laughs, it was a ridiculously tempting offer after all.
"Could you?" He taps at his own chin in thought. You glance back at him and sits on the toilet. In theory, you probably could. Hadn't happened...yet.  
"Ye- just give me a heads up first? And maybe some good booze to knock me out." You say only half-joking. Asmo nods eagerly, twirling a lock of soft tawny hair. He might take you up on the offer.  
Beelzebub
He doesn't want to know and he never wants to find out. He just likes you too much to see you get hurt :(. It gets to the point where you cannot bring any past stories of incidents (no matter how funny you think they are). If a story comes out be prepared to be carried everywhere by this gentle giant. If you won't cease your foolishness then he will.
Though he probably should have heard a few of the stories. Mostly the ones about poisons and inedible things you use to eat. A lot of his world revolves around food and he loves to share it with you.
He never heard you complain about the foods he had you try with him. It wasn't until Simeon and Luke tagged along did he learn the awful truth that he had been poisoning you almost every time you two went out.  
Takes him forever to get out of his head about it. You are clearly fine and never brought it up because you just loved spending time bonding with him.
You find him in the ally behind the restaurant. His massive form curled in on itself from where he sat. "Why didn't you tell me?" He rumbles hearing you approach to stand next to him. "I could have killed you." You sit squat next to him resting your arms on your knees.
"I mean...if we are keeping count it would be dead about eight times over by this point." You meant it to be funny but he groans in anguish pulling at his hair. You grab his fists and pry them from his scalp. "Hey! Hey!" You pat his knuckles, eyes filled with concern. "I'm still here right, still kicking and eating all these awesome foods, don't worry. Please?"  You can tell your words do not calm him but he doesn't pull from your grasp either. "If you are curious, all the foods that would have done me dirty just gave me some bad cramps and gas for the evening. Nothing a tum and hot tea couldn't fix." You fill the air with useless chatter, all while stroking his knuckles.
You really wish that Luke hadn't said anything. Simeon had read the room, his neat brown brows raising in astonishment as you sank into the meal Beel bought for you. But he otherwise stayed silent tucking into his own meal without a fuss. You couldn't completely blame Luke though. He was young and just looking out for you. Though, he-well- both of you could have handled it better. With him screaming and you screaming, it was a recipe for disaster.
Beel rises a few minutes later rubbing at his burning eyes. "Are you sure you are ok?" He checks in with you once more. You nod perking up as you see him grunt in acceptance. "Just let me know next time you can't eat something."
"But it tastes good!" You pout. He frowns not budging from his spot until he sees you sigh in defeat and agree. No more purposely poisoning yourself just for munchies. "Fine-but you are just saying that to get extra portions."  
Belphegor
He finds out when he kills your dumbass for believing him. It totally harshed his vibe.
Here he was getting an amazing monologue, reveling in his eldest's brothers' anguish and look of anger from the prince. He was ready to give his final performance and hopefully wipe the floor with that red-headed bastard plans to "commingle"
He tossed your "lifeless" body from him, taking a sick amount of pleasure in the way your body flopped down the stairs. He notices how the other brothers seem completely unfazed by your corpse at their feet.
Huh? Perhaps they didn't understand the actions he did. Or maybe they truly have given into the demons they had become. He stops his tirade only when he watches Asmo bend down and poke at your cheek. He didn't look sad, just merely annoyed. Like you were taking too long to get up.
But that is impossible. You would never get up again... 
Mammon rolls his eyes at his youngest brother's actions. Honestly, he loved the little edge lord, but this was ridiculous. He had a racket to go check on. His hand drifts down slowly to his pocket. If he just angled it right he could probably check his phone without looking rude. He makes eye contact with Satan and jerks his head exasperatedly at Lucifer and Belphegor going at it. The blonde shakes his head and shrugs. Slowly he inches closer so Mammon can go on his phone without getting caught. Covering for Mammon Satan looks around the room feigning interest.
Beelzebub and Leviathan seemed mildly more attentive to what was going on than him. The latter of the two eating it up like an arch in an anime, while the former was trying desperately to placate his twin. Asmodeus on the other hand was having none of this. He plops down next to your body turning your head to face him. He checks you over quietly ignoring the storm exploding out of his elder brother and the rest of the gang. "Honestly darling," He strokes the bridge of your nose, feeling the bone and cartilage shifting back into place beneath his finger. "is this a good time to ask if I can have your jawline?" He sees the corner of your lips twitch.  He leans in and whispers in your ear. "How long are you going to play dead?"
"Am I boring you, brother?" Asmo glances up from his position over your head. Belphegor looks down at his face apoplectic with rage at being ignored. "And I see you on your phone Mammon!"
"Shove it! I got shit to do!"
Asmo gets to his feet dusting off his pants and ruffles. He shrugs up at Belphie who was doing a great interpretation of Lucifer when angry. He was so much like Lucifer it was scary sometimes. "Sorry honey! Just check on my bestie."
Belphie snorts making his way down to the first floor. "Just checking I killed-"
You pop up grunting loudly as your spine reconnects. "Help your bestie up?" You raise a hand for Asmo who happily takes it. You turn your back to a dumbfounded Belphie and Lucifer, both not understanding what just happened.
"About time." Mammon sighs pocketing his phone. "I got some idiots we can swindle out of some grimm."
"Oi!" Satan butts in cutting Mammon off. "You had your turn! I have some spells they said they would help me test out."
You grin, not fighting it as the two tug at you like a toy between toddlers.
"Enough!" The two jump away from you at Lucifer's roar. You squeak in surprise when a firm leather-gloved hand spins you around so you could stand face to face with a fully shifted Lucifer. "You!" He runs his hands over you in disbelief. "How..." Your first conversation with him comes back to mind.
I can't die so try to threaten me with something else next time K?
"Would someone tell me WHAT is going on and why they are still breathing!" Belphie pushes through to you and Lucifer.
Beel grabs him up before he could get his claws into you again, stroking his dark hair like you would an angry cat. "It's a long story..."
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