#as i am not exactly competent at this

[abirddogmoment]

In the same vein as my Dog Thoughts post about performance foundations last night, the more I watch Sports People, the more motivated I am to distance myself from them and be done with dog sports completely.

#i had this thought while i was still actively competing #but mav was one of the top performers for his breed for his entire career and that is addictive #photographing events this summer doglessly made it sooooo clear that i dont want to associate with Sports People #no offense to those of you who are Sports People but it is so not my vibe #i have FOMO for sure but is it enough to return to that?? #(there is an argument to be made that people need to see more people having fun in the ring and keeping it light - #but i am a competitive person and honestly there were periods where i was NOT keeping it light and thats not cool) #i can see how easily i can be sucked back in #i unfollowed and blocked sooooo many people because i simple Do Not Want To See It #idk its the same vein as calling your dog bad or asshole as a 'joke' #is it actually a joke or are you harbouring resentment and justifying it as a joke? #im not sure how exactly they're similar but in my heart they are #there is a very specific flavour thats prominent in dog sports and it is not the right flavour for me #hmm im posting a lot of text posts about my thoughts in the last 24h hope this is out of my system now #back to regular queued pictures of the pubby tysm #eta: this includes confo people btw #it should be Competition People i suppose #sports are at the forefront of my brain because i was so deeply involved for years #but ive photographed enough confo shows to know that is also not the vibe

[sysig]

Bunnies and piggies (Patreon)

#Doodles #Original #Although please click the link! Those bunnies are very inspired by evenlyevi!! They are so cute I love them!! #The yellow lineart and the little nub-shaped body did me in completely ;; They are so cute <3 #It makes me so tempted to design some Just Desserts pets based on fruit silhouettes haha #Or other ingredients but fruits are rather common sweets :0 I suppose Taffy is based on cotton candy but that's cheating ♪ #Love bunnies <3 #As for the piggies I've been itching to try and decide a sweet-version I could incorporate to make a JD pig! #I've got a cow - a chicken - sheep as mentioned lol - I need more classic farm animals! And pigs are super cute! #They're probably the one feral-shape that I feel somewhat competent at drawing lol #Still not completely but somewhat! Trotters are so cute #Maybe those curled ribbon candies for the curly tail hmmm #I haven't looked at pig faces enough to know exactly where to put their mouths straight-on - it's right under the nose yeah? #It feels so obvious and easy in profile! Or even the one with her tongue stuck out lol #Gotta get back into drawing Mila just to practice her cute face #I love her dimples too hhghhh cutes!! I am weak!! #So many cute little lads out there just existing #Love that

[jellicle-chants]

was nervous to watch the new cats movie analysis because it was hard to judge the vibes, but now I'm happy to report that not only is it very knowledgeable about the stage show there's some very correct takes about widely accepted fanon in it

#cats the musical #cate talks cats #i'm only about halfway through but it's been pretty good so far #yes i AM talking about the wild macavity lore that everyone agreed on at some point-- #--because on some level i think it's fruitless to talk about macavity as a physical cat with a backstory #it's doing exactly the same thing as the people who say everyone's competing to die -- making up a plot where there shouldn't be any #jennyanydots and rum tum tugger are not in a competition any more than the candy canes and reed flutes in the nutcracker are #just like macavity is no more a real figure than the rat king! #i'm not sure i agree with their other stance that bomba and deme can ONLY be read as romantic (maybe in 1998 but not always) #because there's also a lot of thematic analysis that can be done about their sibling dynamic as well as a romantic one #but like i said i'm only halfway through so maybe i'll find something i don't agree with later on lol #good video though!

[lazuliquetzal]

i want to hear the sports anime manifesto

Okay short version:

My life was a sports anime for a bit, and watching sports anime makes me nostalgic for those days.

Medium version:

The typical shonen sports anime deals with themes of camaraderie, ambition, and the intersections of camaraderie and ambition, which ALWAYS hits me right in the chest.

I'm not an ambitious person by nature, but--you know that one poem floating around on here, the one about the moth that wants nothing more than to fly into the flame, and how it would be nice to feel that kind of all consuming passion? Yeah, that's the feeling I get from sports anime.

And often, for the Team Sports anime, you'll get characters who have nothing in common except that they Love the Same Thing--a friendship/rivalry/(romance) formed on the basis of a shared interest. That's sweet as hell!

And they're super predictable and low stress for me. Very easy to watch! Total popcorn shows. Also I like listening to people infodump about their passions. Someone loved their Sport so much they wrote a whole-ass story about it, so yeah, eat that shit up.

Long version:

The Socioeconomic Inequalities of High School Sports

In high school, I was on a crappy underfunded soccer team (with a healthy dose of sexism) and due to [sports league division reasons] the schools we played against were almost exclusively private schools.

I cannot describe how existential it is to be wearing a hand-me-down formerly white-turned-disgusting-gray uniform that's at least five years old when playing against a team that gets brand new windbreakers every season.

(If you've read AAB, YES this is where my obsession with the windbreakers comes from.)

(Hilariously, the guys team got windbreakers but we didn't.)

(I am not over the fucking windbreakers.)

But anyway, when you're constantly losing to private schools you get this fucking complex about it.

This should come as no surprise but like. People with the time and resources to practice their Thing get good at their Thing.

Playing pick up soccer at the park is practice. Playing rec league soccer is organized, repeated practice.

Playing competitive club soccer is all of that, plus a coach who knows How To Coach and What The Sport Is, plus you get morale-boosting uniforms and the chance to play with and against other skilled players. So you're exposed to a lot more, and thus, you learn a lot more.

Competitive club soccer is also Expensive. Rich kids get good.

There's a reason why the "Powerhouse School" is a thing in sports anime, because it's a thing in real life. People with leisure time and money get to invest in their sports development, and everyone else gets left behind in the dust. It's basically a microcosm of capitalism.

The underdog sports story is (quite tragically) bootstraps propaganda. All you have to do is be really good and work really hard and have A LOT OF PASSION to get good at your sport! The cream rises to the top! This is a meritocracy! Let's ignore all the other factors that go into an individual's development as an athlete!

(My brother got scouted for club soccer as a kid. He actually went to tryouts and got offered a spot and a scholarship and everything, but there's SO many hidden fees after the initial registration. Uniforms, equipment, travel and accommodation, tournaments, plus like, the time sink, so we never signed him up. And equipment-wise, soccer is one of the cheapest sports you can play--just imagine the price for something like baseball or hockey.)

In sports anime, there is no reform. There is no revolution.

But sports anime isn't really about that. It's about the narratives we create when we convince ourselves that we deserve to win.

(You know what I mean. Every billionaire is convinced they're some sort of heroic underdog. The same exact kind of 'working your way up' narrative.)

Sports anime is like, the uncomplicated power fantasy of playing the game. It's a world where you are rewarded for your hard work, because it's narratively satisfying. It's a world where it's safe to want things, because you have the exact same chances as the private school kids.

I used to be an obnoxiously competitive child. Then I got all my competition beaten out of me by 3 straight years of constant losing in my clownagerie of a high school soccer team (affectionate). I am going to admit that experience made me a better person and I would not trade it for anything, but I also had to like, relearn how to want things. And maybe real life is not as equal opportunity as the world of sports anime, but I think it's good to want things.

Of course, the winner-loser dichotomy makes sense in sports because of the inherent nature of competition, but it doesn't make sense in stuff like society and economics because that's like, competing over the right to live. That's where the capitalism metaphor ends,

Does sports anime actually go into the socioeconomic inequalities of sports? No. Of course not. Giant Killing never got a season 2.

But it is something I think about when I write sports anime fic. Even if it's not the point, it influences my characterization. The ego of a prodigy character in a shitty sports program is different from the ego of a prodigy character in a rich kid sports program. I am obligated to my amateur attempts to capture the complexities of the high school sports environment in my fanfiction because I am fucking insane I had a specific high school sports experience and they do say to write what you know.

#MEG I SWEAR TO YOU I WILL READ TANGERINE AT SOME POINT #I have so many thoughts about sports anime which is tragic because sports anime is not that deep #it is never that deep #part of the reason why I got so sucked into Daiya is because of the powerhouse school setting #and the fact that Eijun was so obviously lost because he never had that kind of organized system before #people give Seidou a lot of shit for 'not helping Eijun' enough but genuinely it's because he has NO CLUE how to reach out #I poured so much brainpower into Eijun's backstory in my brain it's embarrassing as hell #*shaking fanfic authors by the shoulders* YEAH THE CUTTHROAT COMPETION SUCKS BUT YOU DONT FIX IT BY SENDING HIM TO A DIFFERENT SCHOOL #I also am the only person who understands Miyuki Kazuya (exaggeration) #everyone gives him shit for the Nabe thing and look. yes he was wrong. #but I was once in that same exact situation and responded exactly the same way #Daiya no Ace is not about friendship #it's about Ambition #and people tend to make Eijun the sweet sentimental sunshine friendship guy #but he has JUST as much cutthroat ambition as Miyuki #that's why they work. that's why they understand each other #there's a whole essay I could write about Misawa but it's basically just chapter 18 of AAB #anyway if you want to watch a sports anime that does the Healthy Ambition and the Friendship Thing in the most wholesome way possible #watch Haikyuu. it really is the perfect sports anime. #shame the fanfic is 99% ship because the sports aspect of it is SUPER sweet #asks #jumpstrike #I'm answering jumpstrike but Tav I hope you see this too #lazuli talks #sports anime

[coquelicoq]

those jokers in greek mythology are always getting punished for their hubris but at least their hubris is over impressive stuff. it's all "fly too close to the sun" this and "be really really really good at weaving" that. whereas my hubris is always shit like "this tampon will last for another hour" and "surely i paid that bill already" and "i'm actually not very depressed"

#but i'm actually NOT very depressed though!!!!! it is just october. #i know this only works if there's like. a god of tampons so let's say there is a god of tampons lol #if hubris is when you as a puny human are cocky enough to think you can compete with the gods #which in my memory of 9th grade english class two decades ago is correct. which surely it is #there is a god who knows exactly when tampons should be changed and i am grossly offending her every time i think i can leave one in #she sees me being all smug like oh this bad boy's got at least four grams left in her and she's like SMITING YOU SMITING YOU SMITING YOU #there's a god of good mental health and every time i'm like you know i think i'm doing relatively okay mental health wise #he comes down and is like how dare you. that's my thing. just for that i am going to make you cry a lot for no reason. #you get the picture #in the immortal words of horse_ebooks #everything happens so much #my posts #f #mythology

[widowshill]

the r/l/b and r/v/b “everything is cyclical, and a contest, and we are once again resting who wins and who loses on a woman’s favor” continues.

#IT’S LIKE THE JUDGEMENT OF THE GODS IN A WAY. #I’m not far enough yet to know exactly what’s going on with Gerard/Daphne/Quentin but feels like yet another possible parallel brewing. #➤ ooc. ┊ she’s nauseous，she’s hysterical，and she’s exhausted. #➤ roger collins & victoria winters & burke devlin. ┊ to know how it ends‚ and still begin to sing it again. #I’m out of practice with my Hellenistic texts but I am tempted to think about the roger/burke conflict as relating to kleos #there’s the literal sense in which there’s misapplied justice — perjury — a fault in the legal system as it stands & skews towards collins #but theres also the sense that roger has done a greater wrong on the divine scale that amounts to more than only the manslaughter convictio #which is why it doesn’t matter that burke only served five years; or that he got out on good behavior; or that he’s now obscenely wealthy #the transgression violates a bigger sense of honor. #competing for the goddess’ favor doesn’t have much impact on the running of the Collinsport PD #(other than when roger strongarms them into giving testimony) #but their favor *does* lend itself to the overall contest of glory — and the winner gets; among other things; a bride.

[dribs-and-drabbles]

#BADBUDDYREWATCH

Ep 7

Wait... so Pran says "It's hot" after getting a photo of Pat to which Pran's mum says he should "blow it first". I mean, I know I easily hear innuendos but I can't be the only one to notice this?!

Oh the happiness when Pran says he's messaging a 'friend'.

And then the heartache when Dissaya says Pran can date anyone but Pat or Pa.

Pran letting his Nanon show through at 6:07 in part 1 - with his head-twitch (you can see Nanon doing it in interviews and events etc).

Pa and Ink!! That's it. That's the comment.

I love the differences between Pat and Pa's sides of the room, and that Pa got the full bed whereas Pat is just on the mattress on the floor.

Remember what I was saying about the show manipulating us in ep 4 with Pat, Ink, and Pran? Well, they're doing it again with Pa, Ink, and Wai - having Jimmy do the voiceover for the note Pa receives with the peer mentee gift. I mean, it could never have been him because he's not in her faculty...but still, it made us question whether we were going to get InkPa.

SEE WHAT i MEAN BY THE SHOW USING THE PRODUCT PLACEMENTS TO DRIVE THE STORY?! BECAUSE WE GOT FERAL HOE PRAN EXPERTLY FLIRTING WITH THE "Can you?" AND PUPPY EYES IN THE PRINTER SCENE.

Don't we all agree that Pran basically confesses to Pat with the curry - he said he wanted to cook the dish for the person he liked and then offered a spoonful to Pat - he effectively did cook the curry for Pat it's just that Pat chose not to eat it. These boys 😄 smh

I love Pa's friends and want to see them in another show.

With the way Wai is recounting the synopsis for the Riam/Kwan play, you'd think he'd be a bit more sympathetic towards Pat and Pran.

Also, library scene my beloved (pfp ftw!). And Pran in a yellow shirt whilst thinking about his and Pat's flirting (they're so happy!), and then Pran in a blue shirt amongst a sea of red in the lecture hall. AND THE MINT GREEN BOOK DIVIDERS. God the design.

Oh Oh and the LIGHTING! I forgot how this show had used light and shadow throughout this ep to emphasise how Pran is "still closed off, not yet ready to be open and honest with Pat, needing the bet still as a premise to ‘date’ Pat...whereas Pat is ready and has always been ready...and it’s only right at the end, when Pran has decided he’s also ready to leave the bet behind and get on the same page as Pat, that he becomes fully illuminated."

Really, show me another series that is doing product placement like Bad Buddy. THE BOTTLE 'SPONGE BATH'! Please!

Wai teasing Pran with the 'ja' particle when kissing his neck/cheek... I guess making Pat doubly jealous...

"Your Man?" !!

Pran looks so smug but Pat's about to wipe that off his face.

Disgruntled dimples!

And I can't watch the noodle scene without thinking of this post.

But also knowing that Pat has pretty much confessed to Pran through his audition monologue kind of makes this scene hit different. Yes, they're having a flirting competition, doing things with Ink and Wai that they want to be doing with each other, but poor Pat has already said he wants to end the bet but Pran is continuing as normal.

Micellair my beloved. Pat says he doesn't always come to play but that is what he actually does. He tried to lighten Pran's mood by playing. He puts paint on Pran's cheek so that he can clean his face... I mean, it works! Until Wai shows up... And they're still telling each other to 'say it first' but Pat's already confessed! istg asfagad;lkgjadjh;kjg

Yes! I love fierce Pran. He doesn't stand for any shit. 👏🏼

Also, you know @thiansong's post about Pran being so Loved? Well, I just realised that Chart was implying that Toto would have to chose between him or Pran and that, if so, Toto would chose Chart... But actually he doesn't because Pran stays and Chart goes. Pran is so LOVED!

Oh... Pran then repeats Pat's "I'm not always playing games with you" on the rooftop...

When I first watched the rooftop scene, I thought Pat was being stupid by preventing Pran from confessing but in hindsight he is entirely valid since Pran was doing it because he needed Pat to act in the play. It took me while to understand.

Forever May my beloved. Like with the instrument shop in ep 5, the editing of this scene with this music is inspired! (Again, a scene that feels 'danced' is one that includes an instrument.)

It's interesting that the other actors who auditioned played the role of Kwam - the original male character - whereas Pat played the role of Riam - the traditional female character - reminiscent of the bus stop scene when he played the girlfriend. Thus the show, yet again, is subverting the seme/uke/wife/husband tropes.

And of course in his confession Pat/Kwam talks about not playing games anymore. (And then I'm thinking about that post by @grapejuicegay along with @casualavocados about how the show does things in threes - introduces the idea [micellair scene], increases the tension [rooftop scene], and brings it to a conclusion [confession scene] 🤯)

Oh but that confession though 💖😭💖

AND SOMEONE OPEN THAT DOOR FOR PA!

#bad buddy #badbuddyrewatch #bad buddy episode 7 #THE BET! #oh this ep was fantastic #i forgot exactly HOW GOOD it was #it's competing with ep 11 for my favourite episode #so many great things in there! #also...why am I so obsessed with the product placement?! 😂 #I find it so annoying in shows because it breaks us out of the story #but I think bb have used it so well and keeps us /in/ their world

[pepprs]

update i have to apply for my own job for the SECOND time in two years by wednesday and im taking my learners permit test on friday which means i have to finish absorbing the drivers manual by then. the way i am LONGING to walk into traffic.

#the driving thing is just extra stress but the applying for my own job AGAIN thing is making me absofuckingLUTELY insane. this process was #so psychically damaging for me to go through a year ago and the fact that exactly a year later i am doing it again and have to jump thru all #the same hoops and write a new cover letter and find new references and INTERVIEW with my colleagues and all that… like i appreciate this so #much bc basically what is happening is im getting a raise and will be converted to a regular employee (im contractual rn bc that’s all they #could do when i graduated). but like the fact that i am once again under the MORTIFYING psychic stress of my colleagues being the search #committee and me being u able to talk to them abt this or get reassurance and them having to treat me like they don’t know me and this not #being guaranteed and other people potentially applying and me having to compete with them… it is too much fucking stress for me to go #through. it’s just too fucking much. i am so mentally and emotionally exhausted and now i have to walk through fire AGAIN⁉️⁉️⁉️ i wanna KMS #like it’s fine. but also the existential dreaddddd the way i cannot bear to live through this one more time but i have to and im going to. 😍 #purrs #delete later #like i get it and i know it’s to make it fair and equitable. but whyyyyy do they have to put me through this again have i not proven myself #time and time again is this job not QUITE LITERALLY designed for me to be in it. and it’s not merely an annoyance it’s like… actively a #stressor that is taking years off my life just like it did last year and the timeline is even more accelerated bc last year i had two weeks #to apply and this time i have FIVE DAYS!!!!! and i have to reach out to references and i can’t do that until monday bc it’s the weekend 😭😭😭😭 #like LMFOAHDHSKDHSODHAJJB of course this is happening to meeeeee im going fucking insane. also i might have to do this a THIRD time someday #and i would have to get a masters degree for that too. so basically the only path forward is CEASELESS suffering and psychic agony. there is #no hope for women. fuck my stupid baka life. but also this is a good thing and also i have it sooooo good which is soooo unfair to everyone #else for example possibly wasting everyone else’s time who applies for this job. but also fuck my stupid baka life. #technically im applying for this job for the second time in 365 days. like it’s not even two years it’s that i did this a year ago and now a #year later im doing it again. LESS than a year later. it hasn’t even been a full year yet. help 😻👍 #if february 9 2022 me fucking knew what HORRORS awaited her 24 hours from then and 3 months from then and 5 months from then and 15 months f #from then. she would have imploded LMFAOOOOOOOO

[unnamed-atlas]

Mental illness stays winning 😊

#i remain in the top .005% of antlers listeners despite listening to them 2000 minutes less this year #i am convinced i am ligitamatly just their number one listener and no one can compete #i literally listened exactly 14 minutes less over all than last year that is insanely close wtf #my top artists remained exactly the same except the front bottoms shot from 5 to 2 💀 #i really thought they might've beat the antlers this year honestly but apparently that's impossible lmao #cool about it number one song followed by this night and mr blue i look like the saddest bitch alive omg i promise it's just blorbo related

[theheadlessgroom]

https://www.tumblr.com/beatingheart-bride/714377212850241536/theheadlessgroom-beatingheart-bride

@beatingheart-bride

“Together...?”

At this, Randall looked at Emily with wide, glistening eyes, having been leaning into her embrace when she said this, her words being enough to make him pause, taken aback by this response-somehow, it just wasn’t the one he was expecting, and so he remained frozen for a moment, as his mind processed her answer, and what it meant for them both.

“Together...” he murmured again, as he continued to look at her with wide, wonderous eyes: Even through the blur of tears, he looked upon her with complete and total reverence, his cheeks warming at the touch of her hands taking his to hold, to say nothing of the way his heart pounded as he gazed upon his angel, refusing to forsake him in his most dire hour. It was enough to make the tears turning from miserable to hopeful, as they ran down his sallow cheeks, while he held her hands in his, trembling all the while.

“E-Emily, I...”

No, he couldn’t possibly let the words get caught in his throat now: Not now, not when he was about to say something this important to her! He swallowed back any and all apprehension, pushing back his fears as he squeezed her hands and opened his mouth to speak. No turning back now-this really, truly was the point of no return.

“Emily, I love you!”

#((exactly!! she doesn't want to have to *actually* compete with others for her prey; so hey; why not just kill her competition?)) #((because that'd be just SO much easier than just finding a different hunting ground; am i right?)) #((but yeah; she's gonna be so PISSED when she sees emily's alive! she hasn't seen her in forever)) #((and assume she's dead and carries on as usual; but then emily shows up again!! AND what's more; she's got HUMANS with her!)) #((humans she won't share with constance! she's probably gonna be pissed about the fact that emily is a) alive)) #((and b) not letting her eat the humans she's got with her; and that's gonna kick off a new fight here-one that emily will win!!)) #((and seriously; poor randall right now!! his worst nightmare is literally coming true now; he has lived in fear of being found out)) #((and now it's really happening; he's afraid he'll be given back to the circus or killed or something; and he's terrified!)) #((he no doubt feels hopeless right about now! thank god emily's here with him and that their lives together will be better once they leave!) #outofhatboxes #beatingheart-bride #V:Phantasm of the Mansion

[blueslight]

Man

#My friend forgot that they said theyd come to my house today and even though i texted them.aboht it at 1pm which they read at 3pm they #didnt bother saying ANYTHING to me until literaly rivht now (its nearly 7pm so tge day is effecrively over) #and like. my friend is autistic (so am I obviously) so on one hand im like yeah they probably dont know any better but on the other hand i #WOULDVE known better not because im good with empathy or social stuff but just bc i put in an effort #and like . well what would i say cause. like i said theyre autistic im sure its not great to get upset with an autistic person for doing #something autistic BUT LIKE ITS STILL HURTFUL!!! AND IM AUTISTIC MYSELF #but my mom raised me to be like so painfully aware and competent (in real life online obviously i act like a madman) that its near #impossible for me to hang out with other autistic/adhd people without feeling like their fuckin dad bc they refuse to put in any effort #into our friendship beyond exactly that they feel like doing #and stuff like this is constantly happening like hanging out with them is always overshadowed by the fact that i have to plan everything #and take care of everything and remind them of everything bc otherwise they literally want altho i KNOW they can #*wont #but at the same time im TOO weird to hang out with neurotypicals but with other nd people its always shit like this #and there are few things i hate as much as having to take care of people in contexts like this esp cause it just means i have to mask way #more cuz the others wont put in the slightest effort meanwhile ANY social interaction is like moving a mountain for me ive just gotten #so used to the effort BC WHAT ELSE DO I FUCKING DO I DONT WANNA DIE ALONE #but neither of my friends are as driven with tbis as i am. like if theyre not motivated to do something they literally wont do it #and like im rarely motivated either but THERE IS NO CHOICE BUT TO DO IT !!! but bc i guess their parents never enforced any rules now #they are exhausting to deal with

[teacherfromthegreenlagoon]

I think it's very telling that job postings for teachers at xtian schools will have some form of "believes deeply in christ" as the first THREE requirements under "requirements and qualifications," regardless of the subject being hired for. The necessary licence and teaching experienced is shoehorned in at the very end of the list. It really shows their priorites and how much they value quality education.

In comparison, the Yeshiva doesn't mention religion or faith or belief anywhere in their posting, and you can only tell it's Jewish if you know what a Yeshiva is. Their #1 requirement is a valid teaching license in the subject matter. And the NA, muslim, and Hmong populations in the area just flock to specific public schools (immersion, magnet, or charter) that accomodate and explicitly incorporate their respective cultures, so by law they must have non-descriminatory hiring practices and require appropriately licenced teaching staff.

#oh yeah let me spend 8 hours teaching high school students and then 3 more hours teaching a different group of high school students #job hunting for teachers #the yeshiva has super weird teaching hours though #to me it seems clearly aimed at getting a public school teacher without actually competing with public schools #i don't know any high shool teacher who could handle that #like #when exactly am i supposed to grade or do lesson planning? #still really interested in it though because a class of exclusively young jewish scholars seems like a dream job #i'd have so much fun with them

[candyradium]

god i forgot just how much i missed tlovm. and also how fucking PAINFUL the week-long waits are. i want to cry over the twins NOW,

#candy posts #tlovm spoilers #to be fair i am already doing that. but you know exactly what i fucking mean #GODDDDDDDD THEYRE SO. H #also im gay but holy fuck zahra is fine af #like. yessss girl be a rude as hell. be money motivated. sharpen your horns into weapons. be generally competent and badass. slay ✨ #kashaw is also hot but in that really specific ''anime hot boy'' way. like that castlevania mf. yk what i mean #i also processed during this episode that holy FUCK we are getting paladin vax and the fucking WINGS HELLO. that shit is gonna be ANIMATED #''do you trust me?'' GIRLLLLLL I CANNOT WAIT AAHHHHHHHH FUCK i wanna rewatch campaign one so BAD (<- is still 2 eps behind on campaign 3) #i. dont know how far theyre gonna get into chroma conclave bc its split into 2 seasons but GOD do i hope we get the do you trust me. #that shit will actually fuel me for MONTHS

[katya-goncharov]

i made a mistake at work the other day and now i've been trying for hours to formulate an email that apologises and explains why i made said mistake without it sounding like i'm making excuses

#it's one of those i'm too autistic for this situations #also i made the mistake on friday and i only got called out on it today so i've already forgotten what exactly how i went wrong #and people ALWAYS accuse me of ''making excuses'' when i try to explain things so it's made me paranoid #but at the same time i don't want to look less competent than i actually am. and i know i'm not the first person who's made a mistake #at work and it's probably a good thing that i've been working there for 5 months now and only just done something wrong but this kind #of thing makes me SO anxious