#its just abuse

[wompwomf]

kids these days will want anything to be a trauma story for them

"my dad groomed me" and "im a ramcoa survivor"

and then when you ask them about it they end up describing their dad being a normal loving parent and they just left a church because the pastor was mean once (he was probably pointing out bad behavior in sunday school)

and as a survivor of grooming, i can't say anything on the ramcoa bit, its fucking disgusting how many kids will call me a groomer for wanting to be friends, or for calling them a nickname, you can be friends with people of other ages and not be romantic

and im sorry if this part specifically offends you, but 2-3 year age gap IS NOT GROOMING, grooming is 5 or more years apart when one or both is under the age of 18!! and 17 year olds, stop trying to make every adult out to be a groomer for trying to help you

ive met people who are actual groomers, and people who have been groomed, if an adult inconveniences you YOU ARE NOT BEING GROOMED, being groomed is when the intent is specifically and clearly romantic and or sexual INITIATIVE FROM SOMEONE OLDER, if you are making advances on an adult, youve been groomed or your fucked up, but that is on the adult to stop or block you!!! YOU making advances and them stopping you IS NOT GROOMING and im tired of people acting like it is!!!

stop pretending to have actual trauma from something non traumatic, when you ACTUALLY get groomed i will listen and console you, if you say your groomed i will believe you UNTIL i hear your story, if your story is just a normal encounter with someone 2 years or older and YOU interpreted it as romantic or sexual, im leaving you and your trauma at the door because I couldn't care less

here are the definitions if grooming and pedophilia, YOU ARE NOT BEING GROOMED!! if your experience does in fact fit into these definitions, i recommend getting help from a friend or a professional to get out of this problem, whether you are a pedophile, or are being victimized by one, and i sincerely hope everything gets better, my prayers are being sent to you and to a safe recovery 💜

#tw vent #vent post #vent #tw grooming #tw ramcoa #small mention #fake trauma #trauma #this is mostly directed at minors in the plural community #putting endo tags because they are also responsible for doing this #my ex LoreandCo (name dropping yeah) was convinced someone was a groomer when in reality it was just a power dynamic #a power dynamic is not grooming #its just abuse #stop adding more onto something that doesn't need it #endogenic #traumagenic #plural #system #faking #its getting to the point im ashamed to be a system #minors are getting closer and closer to my DNI #rant post #personal rant #rant into the void #ranting #rant #venting #vent incoming #anti endo #stop watering down the words “pedophile” and “groomer” THEY HOLD MEANING FOR A REASON dont ruin it to validate your system

[legendsyz]

Most npd and ASPD people are abusive, you have to be very self aware and work very hard with cluster b disorders to not abuse people. Both narcissistic and sociopathic abuse can co-exist with not all narcs and socios are abusive.

Who even are you?? Be brave, come off anon pls ❤️

Do you live with a cluster b disorder? I do! And it's actually a punch to the gut to be told that me just living my life means I'm going to abuse people. Having a disorder doesn't make someone abusive. It actually enhanced the ptsd, self esteem issues, and self doubt. Ptsd HD if you will!

You aren't my psych or my therapist.

Thanks!

#npd #cluster b #when i say i want asks this isnt what i mean yall #narc abuse doesnt exist #its just abuse #also why submit this to me of all people? #ive made a singular npd post #go bother someone else

[self-loving-vampire]

Extremely dangerous how "grooming" in the context of child sexual abuse went from being a very specific pattern of isolation and trust-building with the aim of abusing someone to "telling children anything that contradicts their parents' ultra-conservative worldview is grooming" to "selling rainbow flags in a store is grooming" to "literally anyone I don't like is a groomer".

These days the word seems to most often be used by people who don't care about what it actually means and just want an easy "this person is irredeemably evil, kill them now" button.

#conservatives accusing people they don't like of being child abusers is not new to be clear #I'm just talking about how they're making this term much less useful by damaging its definition #100 #1k #2k #3k #4k #5k #10k #15k #20k #25k #30k #40k

[betta-go-brrrrrrrrrr]

#why do people do this #like why just why #its abuse #fish are animals to they deserve to be treated like them #meme funny #best memes #funny memes #tumblr memes #dank memes #meme #fish post #gold fish #fish bowl #fishposting #fishblr #fish #funny #maybe dead meme format

[ithinkdogshouldvote]

Guardian swap au for 4/13 ^ ^

#for claritys sake. these versions of the kids are functionally the same character just with different upbringings #like dave still likes music rose still likes knitting (though she has to hide it because bro will throw her yarn off the roof) #jade still likes science. john still likes movies etc. their nature is the same its the nurture thats different #beta kids #homestuck #homestuck humans #guardian swap au #fanart #fan art #Dave strider #dave lalonde #rose lalonde #rose strider #john egbert #june egbert #john Harley #June Harley #jade harley #jade egbert #homestuck au #bro strider #classpect #witch of breath #heir of space #seer of time #knight of light #hs #digital art #implied abuse. Rose is losing at strife and injured #413

[idolomantises]

Rewatching Adventure Time, I can't help but think so much Princess Bubblegum discourse would be non-existent if people actually watched the show to completion instead of randomly hyperfocusing on some of PB's bad deeds.

There's a very bizarre and commonly held belief that Princess Bubblegum did terrible things and got away with it, that nobody held her accountable. When the show makes a point, repeatedly, that Princess Bubblegum is well meaning but deeply flawed, and to some characters, straight up evil.

I see fans point to "The Cooler" a lot as proof that PB is an irredeemable character, and while it is her worst act in the entire show.... I think people forgot that that was the point. Near the end of the episode she stops spying on people in Ooo because it was an invasion of privacy. In another episode she's called out for exploiting some aliens and lets them go. She feels ashamed that her own people are terrified of her. She loses her entire kingdom, and realizes she needs to get her shit together.

I'm pretty critical of shows that are way too lenient on flawed female characters but Princess Bubblegum isn't one of them. She's awesome, and heavily misunderstood.

#txt #and i wouldnt even say this is a fandom problem because most fans who are actually dedicated to the series love her #its people who stopped watching after like season 5 and then watched a few eps and then the finale #its just a version of PB in their head that doesnt represent her entire character #like damn i rewatched rattleballs and this episode fans treat as proof that she's immoral was just the equivalent of doing a couple recalls #or how lemongrab was 'abandoned' when he is a grown ass man who physically and verbally abuses her people. #AND SHE STILL WENT OUT OF HER WAY TO PROVIDE HIM A KINGDOM AND SOME FOOD. #thats not even getting into the massive misunderstanding around her relationship with finn #how finn only survived the first fight with the lich because she gave him a sweater out of concern for his health #and then there's people complaining about her doing necromancy??? ARE YOU SERIOUS #FINN KILLS PEOPLE. LET THE GIRL DO SOME NECROMANCY

[uncanny-tranny]

I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.

If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!

#mental health #mental health advocacy #it was just so annoying because every resource i could access for this project often ONLY recommended cbt and #that just doesn't seem helpful for a good chunk of people #because i know i never benefitted from that model of therapy #obligatory: i am not against this therapy. me having a negative experience with it is not indicative that i believe it should be abolished' #if it works for you: KEEP DOING IT. cbt is not inherently harmful for MANY people and it's a good and valuable tool for many #but the overemphasis of cbt as the Only Therapy Model You Need sends this message that YOU failed... #...if you don't miraculously recover with that therapy model. it often feels like you'll Fail Recovery/Therapy and you're now a Bad Person #i've tried for over a decade to stick out cbt with a dozen therapists to boot. so i think i know a thing or two about my experiences with it #and overall its an unimpressive model (for me) as someone whos had a history with abuse and miscellaneous mental knickknacks rattling around #it's also frustrating because i genuinely like psych and i love learning about people #it's just. i'm tired of only being exposed to cbt (because i hate it honestly) #i feel similarly about cbt as i do with sigmund fucking frued #anyway i just want other insane people (affectionate) to remember that they deserve to not beat themselves up over this #if you're an insane person reading this: i love you i love you i love you i love you #i will share a slice of cake and homemade bread with you <3

[mortysmith]

try not to think too hard about the fact that your grandpa (the worst person you know) was literally exactly like you when he was 14 (pr/ship dni)

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #morty smith #im imagining a scenario in which morty meets young rick and hes like Ohhhhh i get it so its all over. #like idk. he already probably has some complex over not ending up like rick #but then seeing how similar they used to be hed probably start feeling like its inevitable #like obviously it isnt. but idk. could fuel some interesting character drama guys im just spitballin here!!!! #something about the cycle of abuse and seeing yourself in your abuser

[lobotomizedlady]

Actresses being tortured on the set by male directors is a massive historical and present day scourge of the film and TV industries and it's really SO common when you look into it. like from Kubrick terrorizing Shelley Duvall (and only her) on the set of the shining to Tarantino strangling Diane Kruger until she passed out to Hitchcock replacing fake birds with real birds after Tippi Hedren rejected his advances (in order to scare and physically injure her as a punishment for not fucking him) to James Cameron almost literally drowning Kate Winslet to an actress on GOT being waterboarded ten hrs straight to get like a minute of footage to Brando improvising an unscripted rape scene on the last tango in Paris set with the directors permission that ended up traumatizing Maria Schneider (in fact quite a lot of the gratuitous, graphic rape scenes in film were included for the sadistic pleasure of the male directors at the expense of the actresses).

The list goes on and on and I could seriously talk for ages about how revolting it is that these men still have active careers bc the industry just tolerates it. No piece of art is worth inflicting this disgusting and unnecessary abuse on actresses (and it's ALWAYS the actresses isn't it, never the actors. Hmmm wonder why). We call these men auteurs and geniuses but they're really just pathetic abusive sacks of shit. I want to impale every male director who behaves like this and I want their rotting corpses displayed as a part of the universal studios tour.

#the excuses ppl use to defend them are so pathetic too. ''oh they just want to draw out the best performance'' BUUUULLSHIT #1) if that was true why is it only actresses being abused #2) how come other accomplished directors dont do this but still manage to make great movies. perhaps bc its TOTALLY UNNECESSARY #male directors are as a whole some of the most demented individuals in all of showbiz & thats saying smth #as a wannabe director myself it makes me extremely sad bc its so hard for a woman to break into directing yet men like this still get to #make movies and continue being psychopaths to their actresses??? fuck off

[onefey]

So, You're The Bad Parent Of A Rival In A Mainline Pokémon Game...

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #scarvio spoilers #giovanni #ghetsis #lusamine #professor sada #professor turo #ai sada #ai turo #its the morning after i beat violet and i rushed to make this #fey makes a meme #edit: clarifying things ive said in rbs in the tags - #turo and sada were trying to fix things they just thought they needed to achieve their goals to do so #+ this post is tagged as ai sada and ai turo idk what u want from me #and i know absent parents count as abusive ones my point was more that its a different flavor of trauma #anyway havea nice day

[monsterqueers]

Im just really annoyed about how people just fucking hate it when the kids they were jealous of and hated in school for not also getting bad grades also report being fucking traumatized by the school system.

Yeah sorry school traumatizes everyone, even the 'ex-gifted kids' you fucking hate because god forbid someone wasnt exploited and overworked the same way you were.

Sorry a group of predominately neurodiverse people experiencing burnout and how their upbringing of being only valued for their academic performance totally fucked their ability to function in the real world dare talk about this pain where you can see.

Its not being privileged and ~humblebragging~ to report emotional neglect from your parents centered around you having to get perfect grades to receive any scrap of love.

Wishing violence on them for talking about it and finding each other isn't cute either.

And because these people need it stated extra clear

This post is NOT saying other groups of people 'had it less bad'. This is about a specific phenomenon of vitriol towards a oft neurodiverse group of people commiserating about how they were screwed over by the system under the label 'gifted kid' NOT whatever else you are imagining im saying. <3

#clown on this post and get blocked #dismissing abuse reports because you think the people being screwed over by the system differently threaten you somehow is wrong sorry <3 #rebloggable but if it breaches containment too hard I might lock it to avoid the piss on the poor crowd #these ppl do not realize part of the point of 'ex gifted kid' is the fact that the label WAS bunk & was just used as an excuse to abuse us! #thats literally half of the talk & theory! We were just normal kids!!! Thats the fucking point!! Its not being elitist its the opposite!! #blocked and unfollowed 3 different people for threats of violence towards anyone who identifies with 'ex gifted kid' which inspired this

[hyolks]

I would love to see more of your fma au!! Maybe more interaction with the boys and mustang or Riza? Maybe some of the other mustang crew members?

mustang frames the picture and puts it in the middle of the office

#fma #fullmetal alchemist #fmab #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #edward elric #roy mustang #I'm STILL UNSURE OF THE SYSTEM IN USE SO LIKE.... NOT SURE WHAT TO MAKE HAVOC AND FUERY AND ALL OF THEM BE.... #bc... they still are in mustang's loop.... but how many sheriffs does a town even need #the sheriff in question in this is just some rando lol ed and al were doing something in a nearby town and got into deep shite #mustang memorializing edward elric in jail since ed usually abuses his power as mustang's henchman to avoid being arrested #9k doodles #even tho.... its..... a comic........ #wastelands au

[cemeterything]

Please in no way shape or form feel obligated to answer this but since I so rarely hear about MEDICAL abuse as opposed to, ya know, the more traditional verbal/physical type (tho I think that they often go hand-in-hand) and I want to compare experiences. Was your mom "always" alternative for EVERYONE or did she make exceptions for herself? For example my mom never got me vaccinated and, like yours, withheld all sorts of medication under the guise of "protecting" me but when she got diagnosed with a chronic illness she started taking whatever the doctors gave her under excuses of her pain being "unbearable" or HER doctor not being a quack like the others, etc. Honestly it's been 4 years since I've had any contact with my mom but what makes me the maddest looking back was her hypocrisy.

my mom is on the opposite end of the spectrum in that regard. she categorically refuses to participate in any medical treatment that conflicts with her personal principles, and claimed she would kill herself if she was faced with no choice but to be vaccinated during covid (needless to say i haven't told her i'm fully vaxxed), and i believe her, because once when she had a fever so high her body seized up and she went into shock she refused to let us take her to hospital and told me she'd never forgive me if i dialled for a doctor. the whole experience needless to say didn't make me trust her opinion more, and i'm aware of how ableist and dangerous her "if your body isn't strong enough to deal with its health issues naturally it's because you're doing something wrong" stance is. i'm really sorry your mom is such a hypocrite though, that's hellishly infuriating.

#suicide mention #my mom is more or less like those people who believe that any medical intervention #is ontologically evil because it goes against the will of god #except its not a faith thing shes just conspiracybrained #honestly im pretty sure shes experienced some horrific medical abuse that traumatised her and made her easy prey #for conspiracy theorists and con artists but thats not an excuse for endangering other peoples lives

[fure-dcmk]

osaka police department's golden boy

#hattori heiji #baby heiji #dcmk fanart #dcmk #detective conan #my art #heiji was so proud about dragging his guests into a patrol car in that naniwa serial murder case <- MOE #in the end he is proud about his position as son of chief of police #and love to abuse it #headcanon: heiji visits tokyo on average 2 times a month so he needs at least 600 dollar of monthly allowance to achieve that #im not even counting kazuha yet... actually kazuha is much more insane. spending that much ticket just to tag along with heiji (and meet ra #additional moe point i want to convey if its not obvi: osaka PD originally call him heiji-kun before eventually adopting hei-chan

[thermodynamic-comedian]

genuinely why are you not allowed to decline someone's affection. why do you have to trap yourself in situations and relationships you don't enjoy in order to protect someone else's feelings. it's not really fun to be 'friends' or 'partners' with someone out of moral obligation. it's not fun for anyone involved. but you have to stay, because they mentioned they have abandonment issues once and now you feel like cutting ties would be the most evil fucked up thing you could ever do. it's not my fault if i don't like someone. it's not. but it feels like it is.

#and everytime a post like this is made #almost all of the notes are just ''yeah well its even worse when someone you like doesnt like you'' #''this is exactly how abusers think'' #''you shouldnt abandon people just because youre annoyed with them'' #''im scared of rejection'' ''im scared of abandonment'' ''im scared my friends all hate me'' #i know. we all know. but why do i have to apologize for something i cant control #why do i have to apologize for not liking someone its weird its fucked up #im mad. i dont like this. #aromantic #romance repulsed #aplatonic

[yardsards]

hot take but you all NEED to stop telling people to kill themselves.

yes, even *those* people. i don't care if you're talking to some monster who puts live puppies into a wood chipper for fun, don't say that shit.

because mx. puppychipper isn't gonna be affected by your words.

but you know who might be affected? some innocent third party reading the words you said on a public website.

because telling people to kill themselves says "suicide is a punishment for being a bad person. bad people, upon realizing they're bad, should simply commit suicide instead of working to atone for their actions."

and that is NOT a message you wanna be normalizing to anyone, but ESPECIALLY people with depression (who, let's be real, make up a higher than average chunk of this site's userbase). whose mental illness is already telling them that 1: they're an inherently terrible worthless person no matter what they do 2: death is an appealing option.

is reading "kill yourself" once or twice gonna make them do it? nah, probably not. but reading it multiple times a day every day is gonna make their mental health worse. it's probably not good for your mental health to be saying that kind of thing, either.

just knock that shit off. the world is already so hostile to people with mental illness, and managing mental illness and unlearning unhealthy thought patterns is already so difficult. you don't need to be out here making it worse.

#eliot posts #suicide mention #animal abuse mention #i guess #ive said similar before and i just said this in the tags of another post but it deserves its own post #i am fucking TIRED of reading this shit so often #i frequently block people for saying it #sometimes i report ppl over it too if they're shitty in other ways too #i luckily don't have the ''i'm a worthless piece of shit and deserve the death penalty'' flavour of depression #but i do have the ''life is endless suffering and i want to euthanize myself'' variety of depression (or. technically bipolar.) #and reading the phrase kys Feels Bad Man w my mental illness #and i have froends w the first type and i worry about them #and one of em has told me it does affect them quite negatively to read kys #so yeah! fucking stop it!