#its going to show up in the search regardless of what you do

[srjlvr]

ENHYPEN

,, enhypen’s reaction to their partner commenting on their live ! — <3

OT7!enhypen X idol-fem-reader | genre fluff | warnings mentions of food ! | not proofread | note. with all the seriousness im a sucker for these kind of reactions. | also yes, i know it’s hard but PLEASE imagine that their interaction with their partner is allowed and fans totally love it and live for it.

— 희승 ✶ (heeseung)

you had your free time in between your very tight schedule, you decided to text your boyfriend and ask him how his day is going so far. you waited about ten minutes which was weird—he has a free day today.

that was when you noticed enhypen is on live! you quickly got in and saw your boyfriend smiling at the screen while talking to his fans.

“what’s this bracelet? oh that! y/n gave it to me, look at her wrist she has a matching one” he smiled. you tapped your keyboard and sent your comment, ‘that’s why you didn’t reply to my text!’

“oh? y/n’s here!” he smiled widely this time, “i’m sorry i’m having too much fun here” he answered your comment, “everyone please give lots of love to y/n while i reply to her text”

just like that, he grabbed his phone to answer your texts, regardless of his 1 million views on live.

— 제이 ✶ (jay)

jay decided to go on live today and play some songs with his guitar while talking with his fans. he was so busy focusing on his guitar to notice your cute comments which adores him so much.

you were almost about to give up after commenting more than any other fan on the live when he finally looked at the screen, “huh? y/n’s here?” he asked the fans.

when he noticed your comment, ‘you look so cute today, my cute boyfriend😙’ he giggled while staring at it.

“i’ll be playing the next song for y/n,” he suddenly said and grabbed his guitar again, “it’s our favorite song! you should listen to it”

you then stayed until the end of his live, not minding the fact that you’re a bit late to your next schedule.

— 제이크 ✶ (jake)

he was busy putting his favorite songs on youtube and singing his heart out to notice your song recommendations.

“lately, i’ve been spending my time with y/n while listening to our favorite songs, i really recommend you to do it with a person you love and cherish” he pressed his lips together and smiled.

fans noticed that speaking about you always made him smile and feel better.

he was searching for song recommendations in the comments again and noticed yours, “oh? wait a minute!” he reached to the phone to search your comment again.

“it’s y/n!” he said and immediately went to youtube and put your song, “its her favorite song, i hope you’ll like it too” he smiled proudly while pointing at the screen.

— 성훈 ✶ (sunghoon)

sunghoon was answering some questions and talking about his previous schedule.

you decided to comment on his live random questions to see if you can get noticed, questions like ‘sunghoon!! how’s gaeul doing?’ and more.

without even noticing that it was you, sunghoon replied to all of your questions. “people are saying that y/n is here” he reached his phone and searched through the millions of comments.

after noticing your questions that he answered just a second ago he giggled and smiled, “i didn’t even notice it was y/n”

you then commented ‘you don’t even text your girlfriend lately’ and he just sat there for a few minutes and just asked for your forgiveness after his own fans told him to apologize.

— 선우 ✶ (sunoo)

sunoo was playing some songs while sharing with everyone a few stories that happened lately.

“right! y/n came to our photoshoot and gave us some homemade food! i think she had a lot of free time that day considering the tight schedule she has” he frowned.

he then read a few more comments until his eyes fell on yours, ‘i’d make sure to pack you homemade food everyday’ and smiled widely.

“since y/n is so free today, let’s call her!” he grabbed his phone and face-timed you. “y/n say hello to my lovely fans” he turned his phone and your face showed up.

“hello!” you giggled, “please give a lot of love and support to my sunoo” you waved. sunoo then turned his phone back and sent you a flying kiss before hanging up, “that was my girlfriend everyone”

— 정원 ✶ (jungwon)

as soon as jungwon sent you a text that his food arrived, you also got a notification that enhypen is live, and of course it was going to be jungwon.

he was talking and putting some songs, making a little mukbang for his fans. fans went crazy when they saw your comments, ‘jungwon said he was going to buy me food too but he went on live😒’

he noticed your comment only after his fans told him that you’re watching the live. “y/n….?” he asked and searched for your comment.

he chuckled to himself, “wait i’ll order you something now” he grabbed his phone and tapped some things.

“i’ll be ordering this for y/n” he showed his phone screen with a lot of food in the list, “eat well~” he smiled and continued to talk with his fans and enjoy his food.

— 니키 ✶ (niki)

he opened the live to casually talk about whatever with his fans. he likes to put songs at the background and give some song recommendations as well.

he was all dressed up today and was explaining where he’s heading after this live. you two barely talked that day since both of you are having a really tight schedule.

“i’ve been wanting to tell y/n this but we don’t have any time to talk lately” his smile dropped, “i miss having enough time to talk with her”

that was until he found you in the comments, ‘i miss you too! promise to video call you today🤍’ BOY WAS A BLUSHING MESS PFFFFFFFF

he spent the rest of the live sharing some cute memories of you and him together when you had the time to spend.

••• copyright © srjlvr all rights are reserved.

#enhypen imagines #enhypen drabbles #enhypen #enhypen reactions #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fluff #enhypen headcanons #heeseung imagines #heeseung x reader #jay imagines #jay x reader #jake imagines #jake x reader #sunghoon imagines #sunghoon x reader #sunoo imagines #sunoo x reader #jungwon imagines #jungwon x reader #niki imagines #niki x reader

[rationaliity]

blade, ratio, gallagher, sampo, welt yang, and nanook with a shorter s/o

yeah !!! i'm trying something new-ish !! its all mostly fluffy, gallagher's is slightly suggestive and so is welt's. keep in mind of course that they'll all love you regardless and theyre just giants, so you could be like damn near six foot and still be shorter than them. this aint just for 5'0 people ( although it was written by a shortie so,,, yeah ) GENDER NEUTRAL READER !!!

BLADE —

oh you're shorter than him ?

honestly he doesn't even notice half of the time

it's not like he's always searching for someone who's shorter than him so he can take care of them or whatever

it was just life that you were shorter than him and he wasn't really one to make a fuss about anything

but that doesn't mean that he's absolutely immune to your charms, in any case

sometimes he sees that you're struggling with something and that he can help you

other times he finds you to be rather useful yourself

especially when trying to hide when out on a mission, he finds that your height allows you to be a little bit more conspicuous than him

something that he doesn't necessarily mention, but you've come to expect it at this point

if you're out on a mission together, you can best believe that you're the one sneaking into wherever you are while blade is laid low behind you ready to strike if you failed

he'll always always always praise you for your efforts and your abilities to hide in plain sight from others

not necessarily your height, but just your skills in general

sometimes if you have the time to be a little slow with how you moved about, he'd pull you closer and give you a little kiss on the top of your head

affection wasn't necessarily his thing, but if you were doing such a good job helping him, who was he to deny you

you were putting your life down on the line for the mission. this was something that he never took for granted, even though he often went in head first without caring because he didn't have to put down his life for elio's path. he was actively going down this path to reach that finality, but you weren't. you forced him to go about missions with more finesse, because he was absolutely terrified of failing you. often, he would be there as a backup, ready to spring in at a moment's notice if you needed him to be there. you were shorter than him, so you were usually tasked with infiltration, just like now. you could clearly see the goal - it was right there in reach. but of course, with many things, there was also guards hanging around the area, protecting the gem and keeping you at arm's length away from it. of course, blade wanted to cut everyone down and just take it by force, but he knew that wasn't how you did things, and that cutting them down would mean that there was a high chance that more guards would come running. and he couldn't bring himself to put you in that kind of danger, so he let you make a plan in your head. he watched as you snuck past the guards, using things that would show his taller, larger form as a perfect hiding spot for yourself. when you snatched the gem right under their noses, and you came back to him, he couldn't stop himself from grinning a little bit. " good job, " blade whispered once you were in a private area together, allowed some time off. " maybe your height helps you out in certain situations. " " yea- hey ! are you calling me short ? " " yes, " he leaned over, pressing a gentle kiss on the top of your head. " but it's cute. you're cute. " you let out a quiet little sigh, but you eventually wrapped your arms around him, feeling the man stiffen up in your arms at the sudden contact, but he soon melted within your touch. " mm. whatever you say, bladie. i just don't think you'd be very good at sneaking around. " he chuckled, sitting his head on the top of your head. " i think you're right about that. "

RATIO —

ratio does not and will not care about your height

your physical attributes were never what attracted him to you in the first place

although you being so attractive definitely helped, but he wouldn't openly admit that unless you held him by gunpoint

he liked the breath of fresh air that you brought into his life

how vibrant and charming you were, effortlessly piercing through his walls with such expertise he almost didn't want to trust it at first

but he still treated you how he treated most people, including scolding you when you did something wrong, and scowling when you suggested something that he didnt want to do

however, there was one thing you could do that made him fold ever single time

the way you looked up at him through your pretty lashes, pouting as you tilted your head up to look at him and whispered your little apology

you just looked so.. cute like that, he can't stop himself from letting out a fake sigh of annoyance before telling you not to do it again and ultimately letting you have your way

there was nothing he could do against you, he had no defenses to protect himself against your pouting

especially when you had to tilt your head so high up just to look at him

if he didn't know better he would be sure that you did this one purpose just to get your way

ratio called your name once from downstairs, and you froze immediately in place, knowing that tone in his voice. he was disappointed in you for something, and you weren't sure what it was, but you were sure that you would get your ear chewed out and that you would get another lecture on your behavior. you debated on whether or not you should just give up easily and listen to him, and resign yourself to listening to his lecture, or you could pretend to be asleep and get out of his disappointment for just a little while, but ratio was not a man who forgot, and you knew that well by now. no matter how much you wanted to run, you knew that you had to own up to what you did. after he called you the second time, you slowly walked downstairs, finding him in the living room, his legs crossed as he read a book, his reading glasses on. " you called me, love ? " you asked nervously, sitting beside him. " are you forgetting something important ? " ratio closed his book, resting his head on his hand that sat on the armchair as he looked at you, his eyes narrowed. you thought a moment, before your eyes widened, and you rushed into the kitchen. you'd completely forgotten that you were baking some cupcakes ! what happened ? you found them already taken out, cooling on top of the oven. " o-oh no, i'm so sorry, ratio- " you apologized profusely. you turned around, just to find him right behind you, his eyes trained on yours. " your little mistake could've ended badly, " ratio shook his head, and you could feel the guilt creeping up into you, knowing that you had messed up, and now you were paying for it. " you're very lucky i had an eye on it. " you pouted, feeling both embarrassed and guilty that you'd forgotten something like this, feeling like you were about to cry, the hot tears welling in your eyes. you looked up at him through your lashes, unsure how to convey your sincere regret. " i'm so sorry, veritas. " ratio stiffened for a moment, looking into your eyes, and he felt his resolve crumble. he couldn't be mad at you when you looked up at him like that. his hand found its way on the side of your cheek, gently caressing the side of your face. " just.. don't do it again, okay ? "

GALLAGHER —

oh man he thinks you're cute

your height was just part of your charm

it wasn't necessarily a make or break thing where you were required to be shorter than him

but he had to admit.. you were absolutely adorable when you wanted something from him

particularly when you wanted to kiss him, and the lengths that you would go to get a kiss from him

( one that he was willing to give you, but he would make you work for it a little first. he's a tease like that )

he'd watch you with his arms crossed as you looked up at him and asked him for a kiss

and when he would say come get it, you would stand up on your tippy toes and try to kiss him

but he would just lean backwards so you couldn't reach him

then you would pout, and your brain would think about all that you could do to get that kiss that you so desperately want from him

sometimes you were silly with it, sometimes you weren't

sometimes you would grab one of the bar stools and use that to add to your height to kiss him

sometimes you would just grab him by his collar and pull him down for a kiss

sometimes you would use your charm to get him to cave and finally give you what you wanted

it really just depended on the day, something that he was always eager to find out

" gallagher, " you called out, approaching him from behind the bar, waving at him excitedly. he looked up at you, his hands busied as he cleaned the rocks glasses, the towel in his hand buffing out any fingerprints on the pristine glasses, making them look just as perfect as penacony itself. you'd come to share some good news with him about your own job, but the way his messy hair was in his face made your heart swell just a little bit, and you smiled, looking up at him through your lashes. he knew exactly what you wanted without you even asking, and all gallagher did was hum in response. " sorry, honey, i'm a lil busy right now, " his gaze flickered from the glass in his hands to you, and then back to the glass. " maybe you'll get a kiss later, yeah ? " you pouted, hoping that you wouldn't have to go through this again, but also secretly rather enjoying this little game that the two of you played. you leaned forward, your hand on his shoulder for support as you tried to kiss him, but he just leaned away from you with a small chuckle escaping his chest. " maybe later, babe. " he shrugged you off, and you just let out a loud sigh. " come on, pleasseee ? " you begged a little, before finally deciding that, fine. he can have it his way. you knew the bar would be closing soon, and that no one would be in, probably. so you just hopped on top of the bar, your hand holding onto his shirt to keep him close, your legs spread slightly so he was as close as possible. " i've got to close the bar, " gallagher tried to half-heartedly tried to reason with you, but his hands were already gripping the bar beneath you, and he was already leaning in for a kiss, his lips grazing over your lips. " you know better than this. " the glasses, you figured, could be cleaned later.

SAMPO —

haha what a loser

imagine being shorter than the great sampo koski

your height is something that he will point out every single chance he gets

ooh he's so much bigger and stronger than you, of course you needed him

it only made sense that you were dating him, he was soooo perfect for you in every way

yeah it helped his ego, and yeah he wasn't going to let it go easily

no matter how much you pouted and complained about his inflated ego and sense of self worth

he would dramatically announce that he was going to do something for you

practically declaring to the world how thankful and loving you should be that he was so benevolent to do these things for you

he's just looking for some praise and a little attention, something that you both knew well

and if you point out how much he just craves your recognition, he'd turn into a sopping wet cat

sampo did the thing for you !! you should say thank you and give him a kiss !!

that's how relationships are supposed to work and he did the thing that he was supposed to do

its only natural that he would want a reward for all of his efforts

even if he spent the last thirty minutes teasing you about your height

" you're just so short, " sampo teased, playfully ruffling your hair as the two of you walked down the streets of belobog while you glanced down at the map in your hands, looking for what you had assumed would be a wild goose chase because sampo said that if you found it, it would make the two of you rich beyond belief. of course, there was a solid chance that it was something that he stole and he was just using this as an excuse to be close to you for a little while. seriously, what are you going to do with him sometimes ? you sighed, shaking your head to shrug off his hand from your head, trying not to get frustrated with him, but he made it so hard sometimes. especially with his nonstop teasing and jokes, like he knew that he was getting on your nerves and yet he continued to do exactly what he was doing regardless. " sampo, are you required to make fun of me every single second of every day ? " " come on, now, doll, i'm not making fun of you ! i'm just pointing out a fact ! you need me, right ? you need me and you can't live without me, and you love me so much. " sampo shot you a cheeky little grin, making your face heat up just a little bit. he was right, but he didn't have to say it like that. " samp- " just as you began to speak, the map you were holding blew out of your hands with a strong gust of wind, flying high up in the air, far too high for you to catch it, even though you did try to reach for it. sampo, however, grabbed the map with ease, oh-so gently place it back into your hands. " see, my point is proven by the winds themselves ! you need me to help you when things fly out of your hands ! " sampo declared victoriously, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer into his side while he walked. you let out an audible sigh, but leaned into him, deciding that he had done well enough. " thank you, sampo. although, we're putting this little treasure hunt on hold, and we're going to grab a snack. i'm hungry, and i have a sneaking suspicion that we aren't going to be rich by the end of the day. "

WELT YANG —

welt does his absolute best not to point out the height difference between the two of you

he knew that sometimes height was a sensitive point so he wouldn't say anything that he thought would bring you discomfort

although, secretly, it's a point of endearment from you

especially when he has to help you out with things, like reaching the top shelf or picking you up a little bit so you could see over a crowd

it made him feel useful and helpful, a feeling that he loved

he liked that you didn't hesitate to ask him when you needed help, no matter what it was

because you were his partner, and he loved you dearly

he'd do anything that you needed him to do, happily

but his absolute favorite thing was when he does things for you without you asking

and then he gets to see your happy face beaming at him while you said thank you

and, as a reward for his kindness, maybe you'll stand up on your tippy toes

and use his shoulders to keep yourself steady as you kiss his cheek

and maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to wrap his arms around you and pull you in for more kisses

what ? he doesn't indulge in himself all too often, he deserves it sometimes, he thinks

the astral express had stopped at a world just for a little while to have a small break. after the events of the last world, you all desperately needed some time to rest and take your minds off of these things. the three trailblazer kids were all out and about, no doubt getting into some trouble no matter how many times someone told them just to enjoy their stays. himeko had left to go ' check up on the coffee shops in town ' as she put it, but you were nearly sure it was just to give you and welt some time to spend together alone, since it very rarely happened. there was almost always someone that you had to take care of within the express, and he always had something else to do, too. not that either one of you minded, since you truly did love everyone on the express. you were up early, making a cake for everyone for when they came back. you knew welt was still in the bedroom, probably just waking up. you had made the cake pretty much on your own, there was just one thing that you needed, that you couldn't find no matter how hard you were looking. you just needed to find some candles to make it look special. who cares if it wasn't a birthday ? you finally found them on the top shelf, and you were almost out of options, about to just climb up on the counters to get it. when welt's body pressed up against yours from behind, his hand on your shoulder as he reached up and grabbed the candles you were wanting. " were you looking for this ? " he asked, handing it to you. " yeah ! thank you, you're the best ever. " despite him just giving them to you, you sat the little package down, leaning against his chest, your hands holding onto his arms. " whatever would i do without you ? " " climb up on the shelf to grab the candles, " welt joked softly, leaning down to bury his face in your shoulder, gently kissing the smooth skin. you laughed softly, turning around in the man's arms to face him, your back pressed against the counter. " mm. yeah, you're right. i could've died. " you stood up on your tippy toes, your arms wrapped around his shoulder as you kissed him gently on his cheek. " thank you, welt. for looking after me. " welt hummed, his hand moving up from your waist to your cheek, tilting your head up so he could press a hungry kiss on your lips. you had a little while until anyone was back home, and you two had an idea how you could spend that time while the cake was baking in the oven.

NANOOK —

to be quite fair,, they're an aeon

everything is going to be shorter than them

you could be the tallest person of your race and you would still be an ant to them as long as they were showing themself as the aeon of destruction

for you, though, it was more often that they had a shorter, more human form

with a little less golden blood dripping down their torso, and a little more legs

unfortunately for you, you were shorter than them in this form, too

who would've guess that they'd be huge even in their human form

they don't really care honestly because they feel like mortals like you should be shorter than them anyways

like a fucked up power play kind of thing

they're a god, you're not. of course you should be shorter than them

they're a very serious being, and its very rare for them to crack any jokes

but they will sometimes use your head as an armrest while just talking normally to another

kinda like they were branding you as theirs ?

after all, who's going to mess with someone who the aeon of destruction is using as their armrest ?

they like how it annoys you, but you won't do anything about it

you'll just sit there and pout while they publicly claim you as theirs

" my liege, " phantylia the undying bowed at the presence of her aeon, a sight that almost no emanators go to see regularly. nanook was always doing something, always at the edge of a solar system ready to reign destruction upon it. to see nanook engaging in anything that wasn't ultimately tearing worlds apart with their bare hands was a rare sight indeed, especially for those who didn't travel the cosmos by their side. you would have to be unfortunate enough to come across them, as phantylia was now. when she picked her head up, she finally took notice of the small human standing next to the aeon, and she flinched for a second, as if she weren't expecting there to be anyone there. " oh- my liege, you have- " " company, yes, " they grumbled out, their large hand gesturing to you, although their words were cold as they regarded you. " do not bother to get acquainted. " phantylia nodded, immediately assuming that you were going to be killed by nanook, or they were forcing you to watch as they burned your home world. perhaps, even, forcing you to hold the lighter as they did so. she almost felt bad for you. almost. she wondered if she would be able to toy with you, too. surely nanook would indulge in one of their emanator's whims, no ? before she could voice her question, her eyes flitted towards nanook, and she noticed that they had their arm resting on your head, and your arms were crossing, looking up at them with a pout on your face. " nanook- " you whined, glaring at the taller aeon. " do i look like an armrest to you ? " " no. in fact, you look less than, " they commented dryly, their gaze turning to you, and phantylia swore she saw something akin to affection in his golden eyes. " but i suppose you offer me a little usefulness from time to time. " " all of this time travelling together and you still treat me like a little lapdog, " you shook your head, and although you were still frustrated with them, you turned to phantylia, giving her an almost warm smile. " sorry about that, they're... weird. it's nice to meet you. " the moment nanook's gaze fell upon her, and phantylia felt like she had been sliced through with a hundred blades just for talking to you, her heart retching in terror from the shear intimidation alone, she figured that it was better for her own self that she didn't answer you. when you were alone that day after phantylia left, you were in their arms, watching with mild amusement as people tried the craziest shit just to get their attention. " why do you do that every single time someone approaches us ? you're always picking fights with the people who probably have at least not horrible intentions. " what's mine is mine and i don't share, " they replied plainly, their attention focused elsewhere. " and there's no point in you introducing yourself again if they'll just be dead before you can remeet. "

#honkai star rail #hsr fanfic #honkai sr #honkai star rail x reader #x reader #hsr x reader #dr ratio #blade #gallagher #nanook #sampo #welt yang #welt yang x reader #blade x reader #nanook x reader #sampo x reader #gallagher x reader #honkai x reader #dr ratio x reader #fluff #hsr fluff #imagines #hsr imagines #star rail x reader #honkai star rail imagines

[fandomxpreferences]

Take Me Back To the Night We Met

Masterlist

Pairing: rafe Cameron x female!reader

TW:18+, angst, drug use and addiction, toxic and manipulative behavior

Summary: Loving rafe is a tailspin of fights, sex, and drugs until one day he disappears. When he shows back up, your world is flipped upside down.

Word count:2k

A/N: this is loosely based off euphoria with a dash of tvd and I’m not sorry

Two years. Two whole years spent in a downward spiral with Rafe as the two of you plummeted toward rock bottom wrapped up in each other and your partying ways. Seven hundred and fifty five days of white lines and reckless behavior as the you fed off each others careless attitudes and gambled with your lives.

You were just another girl at a party one fateful night when Rafe locked eyes with you. Something pulled you towards him, and before you knew it you were wiping your nose and trying not to let a tear fall as the white powder burned your airway.

It was all fun in the beginning, until it wasnt. Social use turned into casual use at home, and casual use turned into searching for a fix. Still, the pair of you kept going and said to hell with anyone that tried to stop you.

Now, you’re standing on Barry’s door step alone while your tired body begs for rest. Rafe was always your ‘dealer’, but three months ago he left without so much as a note. No one knows where he is, but to say its taken a toll is an understatement.

Regardless of your circumstances, you do love him with your entire being. He’s your best friend and everyday you wonder if he’s ever going to come back.

The screen door rattles as your knuckles rap against the rusting metal, and you wait a few seconds before repeating the motion.

“I know you’re in there, Barry!”

A minute goes by before you hear the click of the lock, and the man’s face comes into view. He runs his tongue over his teeth and tsks while cocking his head.

“I aint got nothin’.”

Your eyebrows shoot up and you snort, genuinely amused.

“Sure, whatever you say. Give me my usual.”

Your hand extends to offer him cash, but he just glances between your face and the bills a few times before shaking his head.

“Nah, I ain’t got nothing for you. Not after what happened. Go home, Y/N.”

Irritation claws its way into your nerves as you shift back and forth, a scoff surfacing from deep in your chest.

“You didn’t say that last weekend. Stop with the bullshit, B.”

His eyes cast downward as he shakes his head slowly before he drags his gaze back up to meet yours.

“I can’t sell to you anymore, Y/N/N. I’m sorry.”

He moves to shut the door but your foot darts out at the last second.

“Why? Don’t give me that shit about you caring. You sell drugs to teenagers. You don’t have a fucking moral compass.”

Barrys face twists as your words sting him for a split second before his hardened features return, and he pushes you backwards so he can close the door.

“I dont have to tell you shit.”

Your eyes narrow as you start to put pieces of the puzzle together, and your suspicion only grows as Barry glances behind you every few seconds as if he’s nervous.

“Tell me or I swear to God I will make your life a living hell. I’m still a kook.”


When your threat doesn’t seem to persuade him, you reach out and grab his hand while bending his pinky back. You press down until his knees buckle and leer at him waiting for an answer.

“Ah- fuck, fine! Its Rafe!”

Shock causes your grip to loosen just enough for Barry to break free and he darts to his feet before you can react. He glares harshly while rubbing his finger, and you try your hardest to breathe while oxygen evades you.

“What about him? He told you to cut me off?”

Your eyebrows furrow as you process, and Barry’s silence answers your question. Why would he do that? More importantly, when did Barry hear from him last?

“When?”

Your fingers massage your temples as a headache brews, and the man watches you carefully before deciding to answer.

“Couple days ago. He stopped by.”

The information is like an ice bucket over the head, and you freeze before swallowing thickly .

“Rafe is back?”

Three simple words that nearly bring you to your knees before anger and confusion take over. He’s been back and hasn’t sent so much as a “fuck you” text? Why did he take time to do this but not to let you know he’s home?

Barry’s features soften just barely as he realizes what he told you, and he sighs heavily before taking a seat on the top step.

“Been back a few days. He looks good; says he went to rehab and got his shit together. Sure seems like it.”

Your ears ring as the entire world comes to a screeching halt, and for the first time, Barry has some sympathy for the young woman standing in front of him. His eyes watch you for a moment before he swallows softly and turns to head back inside.

“I’m sorry.”

This snaps you out of your daze and your manicured hand reaches out to grab his arm before he can leave. Your nails dig into the flesh but he pays no mind as he stops and looks back at you expectantly.

“That’s it? Since when do you listen to rafe?” You ask, and the look on Barry’s face fills you in.

“He paid you.” You scoff, and you release your hold to run your hand through your hair.

“In what world do you not take the money from both of us and double cross him?”

Barry just stares for a moment, and you swear you see a glimmer of concern in his eyes.

“Since the incident right after he left. I was going to cut your ass off anyway.”

At that, he slams the door and leaves you alone with your thoughts on his porch. Thirty minutes later you’re banging on Rafe’s door like the FBI trying to bust it down.

“Open the fucking door, Rafe! I know you can hear me!”

Your screams are ignored as you start kicking at the barrier, now fully unhinged as rage takes over.

“You can’t just leave and get clean then come back and control me! Who are you to tell Barry he can’t sell to me?”

You let out a frustrated yell when he still doesn’t answer, and tears prick at your eyes as pain mixes with anger.

“This is your fault! I was fine before I met you. I was fine!”

Rafe winces when your foot rattles the door, and he leans with his forehead pressed against it while he listens to your verbal assault.

“You get me hooked on this shit and then get help while I drown? You drag me to the depths of hell and then leave me there?!”

Your voice is thick with tears now as your cries turn to desperation.

“What is wrong with you? Why don’t you care?”

Rafe finally unlocks the door and cracks it just enough that he can see you without you barging in.

“I’ve got it under control, just don’t take this from me.” You sniffle, and the look in Rafe’s eyes is enough to make you breakdown again.

“No you don’t. You overdosed y/n.”

Your mouth gapes as you try to come up with a response and you cock your head to the side.

“How do you know that?”

He gives you a “really?” look and you know it must have been Barry.

“You didn’t give a fuck when you left. I could have died and you wouldn’t have even known. If you’re so worried than why’d you leave me here to go on a bender after you vanish?”

There’s genuine sorrow swimming In his irises, and you rub at your nose as you sniffle.

“I had to get my shit together.”

He wants nothing more than to wrap his arms around you as you hiccup and cry but he remains glued to his place.

“You could have taken me. I would have gone.”

The sad smile he gives you causes your heart to drop, and he takes a second to memorize your face.

“I know, that’s why I didn’t tell you. We’re not good for each other. You would have been a distraction and I would have failed.”

Your knees nearly buckle when you realize what he’s saying, and that familiar burning seizes your throat as it constricts.

“Please don’t leave me.”

What’s left of Rafe’s heart shatters and his hand comes up to cup your face. You lean into the coolness of his signet ring while his thumb wipes away a tear, and he leans forward to press a chaste kiss to your forehead.

“I don’t have a choice, baby.”

Every emotion in your body explodes when he swiftly moves inside and shuts you out, and before you realize it you’re slamming your limbs into his door like a madman.

“Fuck you, Rafe! You ruined my life and just walked away from the carnage! You are nothing but a selfish, silver spoon, daddy’s money prick! I hate you! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!”

With each word, your voice weakens and you sink lower until you’re a sobbing puddle on the ground. All of the fight drains from your body, and all that’s left is an empty shell. On the other side, rafe sits with his head between his hands as hot tears fall off his face with ease.

He winces as you release all your anger at his expense, but doesn’t move or say anything in response.

“I will never forgive you for this.”

There’s a sadness and finality in your tone that causes him to panic internally. He was so sure of himself until you showed up, and now hes disorientated again as your energy pulls him in. He reckons a part of him has always known that you’ll be here if he changes his mind, but now that safety net is being ripped out from under him.

Every cell in his body aches to be near you, but he forces himself to stay in place. Contrary to popular belief, Rafe is not heartless and he hates himself for everything hes done. He wishes he could go back to before he met you; before he set his world on fire and incinerated yours with it.

He’s fist fighting his own demons as they scream for him to just open the door and fall to his knees, but he resists every urge until he hears your car engine start up. He’s certain you’ve been gone a while but he’s been too terrified to even blink, let alone move.

If he does, he knows he’ll set out to find you and pull you into his arms. So he remains in place until his limbs are numb, hours long past as the clock ticks past two am.

After several phone calls and a hoarse voice from hours of driving around screaming, you finally pull into the driveway that’s hidden deep in the cut. An old “friend” of Rafe’s that stopped coming around after Rafe fought him for making a few too many comments about you.

He isn’t the safest option, but it’s the only bridge left that Rafe hasn’t burned. In his attempt to keep you safe, he’s driven you straight into the heart of danger. This guy isn’t just a low life dealer, he’s the king pin. He’s the suppliers supplier, and truthfully even coming here is incredibly stupid.

Still, your feet carry your forward until you’re knocking on his door and fidgeting. It takes a second but you hear a click of a gun before the door cracks open, and you give your best version of a smile.

It doesn’t do much to mask your sorrow thanks to your swollen eyes and splotchy cheeks, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Well well well, it it isn’t the kook princess herself. You shouldn’t be here, darling.”

The grin he gives resembles the Cheshire cat and you ignore the way your stomach drops.

“You’re my last resort.”

It’s a piece of information you shouldnt divulge, but your desperation outweighs any logic.

His beady eyes rake over your figure before he opens the door wider and nods his head.

“Come on in then, sweets.”

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron outer banks #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron #outer banks x reader #outerbanks #outer banks angst

[yannights]

The Caged Truth

Yandere male X winged reader

A/n: Hi, it has been a while, sorry for being absent but I am back with a new story. You can imagine any male character for this story, feel free to choose your favourite.

"A caged bird isn't a real bird. A real bird can fly. Those that are trapped lose all that makes them a bird."

Your statement came as a surprise, so surprising that it caught the attention of your captor as he was reaching to open the bedroom door and leave. He stopped, all movements faltered, and a deafening silence created a sense of unease that could almost make you sick. But you refused to show such emotions and patiently awaited his response. A few seconds went by, and the air started to thicken, as if it was warning you. Had you made a mistake? Had you spilled the wrong words? But you had only spoken the most honest truth. Surely he would understand, given the situation.

He slightly turned his head to the side, showing he was thinking about the words he was going to say in response.

"A bird with one wing chopped off cannot fly as well. Does that not make it a bird then?" He asked.

Those words were definitely ones you were not expecting. A simple question that nearly contradicted your own words. You felt stress rise as you tried to find a way to answer without leaving another opening, hoping to make a better point. You realized that the bedroom had now become an arena, where one of you would come out as the victor, and the other as the loser. Your mind raced desperately. If you gave no answer soon, then he would win, and you would face pure humiliation.

"But at least it is still free. Regardless of its disability, it may not fly, but it is outside, living and not confined..."

"But vulnerable." He interrupted.

Your form moved slightly backward as your eyes widened in shock. He turned around, and by doing so, you could have sworn the room darkened. He faced you with a stoic expression that nevertheless had an apologetic tint to it, as if he understood where you were getting at but was still convinced by his own ideal. He adavnced slowly. You instinctively backed away. He watched you while you avoided his gaze.

This lasted until your wings made contact with the cold wall behind you, which signified that it was short-lived. He finally came to a grounding halt as his chest was millimeters away from your form. He leaned forward and slowly reached his hand out towards you. You flinched, not knowing what he was going to do. You closed your eyes tightly but reopened them as soon as you felt the rough hand caress your left wing.

"A one-winged bird can never survive in this cruel world. It would die as soon as it is born," he said as his other hand reached out to touch your other wing, leaving you completely trapped in his hold, too afraid to move.

"Even a bird in its integrity can fly, eat, sleep, but can also die so easily as it has many predators hungrily watching it, as it has many arrows pointing ready to shoot it down, as it has ways to fall and die."

His hand movements stopped, and he let go of your wings. He moved one to your face and tilted it upwards to look into his stone-cold eyes.

"That is the price of freedom, a price I will not allow you to pay. That is why cages were made, to keep it safe."

The word "it" really meant "you," and you could see the sincerity behind his words. His stern expression softened ever so slightly, but yours only grew sadder.

"But at what cost?" you whispered, your voice trembling. "A life without freedom isn't a life at all. Can't you see that?"

His grip on your face tightened momentarily before he let out a long, weary sigh. "I can see it, but I cannot risk losing you. The world out there is merciless and unforgiving. Here, in this cage, you are safe. With me, you are safe."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you searched his face for any sign of relenting, and in the end, they only spilt down your face. He kissed your forehead as soon as he saw your sadness but did not wipe your tears away. Because tears are a sign of realization...

A realization that you would never leave his cage...

#yandere male #yandere male x reader #yandere male x you #yandere #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere stories #x reader #yandere x y/n #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #yandere x you #short story #short #yandere fanfiction #yandere anime #yandere genshin #yandere genshin x reader #yandere headcanons #yandere honkai star rail #yandere hsr #yandere idea #yandere love #angel reader #hybrid #angelic #birds

[envy-of-the-apple]

Hello, first of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! I hope you had a happy birthday today !

I recently read your recent fic (The Sun eats the Moon) and the writting was amazing. But I have some question in my mind like :

"After that maybe 'Reader' could take contraception in secret, no ?"

"Is she (or they) gonna end up married to him, and forced to be a housewife or just following him where he goes ?" honestly I think her destiny is tragic no matter the result.

"How did he react to her disappearance, did he tried to find her (honestly my question was why he didn't ask her parents or search where did she goes, but honestly its a good thing that he didn't search) ? And during 10 years, how was to him ?" Maybe the only thing we can say "good" about him is he will only looking toward her and not any women after THAT day...?

And last question, I was wondering what will happen to them after THAT day like I know fr that in the media there will be news, but honestly I think the conclusion is well writting, the fact you first introduce the concept about the Moon and conclued with the detailed about the Moon and how tragic the ending is for them (Moon and 'Reader'). And if you are going to a Geto's it's will also be interesting because he was there to.

Sorry for the long message (eng isn't my first language) and thanks you to read that ! Have a nice day or night !

Thank you!!!!!!All great great great questions! I'll try to answer them as best as I can before giving tooo much away lol:

Why cant Ms.Moon take contraception?

yes Ms.Moon (that's my nickname for the mc now lol) could definitely try to take contraception in secret but I don't think it'll be a good ending if Gojo finds out. In the comments of the fic, many ppl were pointing out that Gojo was intentionally trying to get Ms. Moon pregnant back when they were "dating" buuuut it was sort of an afterthought for him. His logic was 'oh well it doesn't matter either way. you're staying with me regardless' but now that he's seen that Ms.Moon is 100% willing to leave him his next course of action is 'k well can't do that if you have a kid'. It's really not about Ms.Moon having a baby, rather it's insurance that bestie won't just dip again. He cares about you more than any kid you'd make together (awww thats so....sweet???)

Will Gojo force Ms.Moon to get married?

Probably, he's a romantic at heart teehee. But also he loves the attention. Part of the reason he was so effective in "keeping" Ms.Moon (in high school) was largely due to public pressure. Now, where he's basically a celebrity, his obsession with the spotlight has only increased. He's gonna be on talk shows and never shy about your relationship to the press. Gojo will definitely describe your relationship as 'newly reunited highschool sweethearts'. People at work will definitely bombard you for the details, and you were never one to be defiant so you'd probably just mutely agree with him (that's why he loves you so much: you're so agreeable). He'd make sure your wedding is the biggest celebration of the year. And then he'd drag you to Aruba or something for yalls honeymoon:)

Why didn't Gojo try to find Ms. Moon?

He did! When you dipped (graduated early and left for college) he went ballistic. I totally forgot to add this in, but Gojo is a huge reason why Ms.Moon doesn't talk to family anymore/anyone in that town. You didn't even tell your parents what college you were headed off to. I bet Gojo harrassed your family for a bit, because he's Gojo Satoru, but when it's clear you just disappeared I bet he was depressed. As terrible as he was, he did love you. It was also a pride thing for him. No one's ever 'won' against him, and you technically did. He'd greatly underestimated you and you got away. I bet he'd be a little impressed at that. I think in the fic it was greatly implied that he was searching for you buuuut eventually he forgot because he got so busy with his life. He still thought about you, but its was probably more along the lines of 'damn, can't believe i lost that bitch' And then you unceremoniously fell from the sky. Surprising, but he's grateful. It was fate to meet you again or was it? *cackles in omniscient author*

The Aftermath

Yeah, you're not living a normal life after that ever again. You're moving in with him, he's getting that marriage certificate ready bye bye freedom. I don't think he'd lock you up, buuuut having a security detail on you at all times, putting a tracker in your phone, and constantly calling/texting you is pretty close to life in prison right? EVENTUALLY, he'd limit your social network, then not-so-gently encourage you to quit your job. By the end of it, you'll be his little housewife but I think he'd be nice about it. (kind of)

#yandere #x reader #yandere jjk #dark content #dark jjk #dark gojo satoru #gojo satoru #asks #yandere gojo satoru #“The Sun Eats the Moon” Asks #SEM

[pointycorgiears]

Mihawk usually spent the least amount of time required of him in the Cross Guild's wild parties, courtesy of Buggy. He showed his face, had a drink and maybe a pastry. The lemon cake was always delightful. Then he quietly took his leave and left the main tent unseen. Buggy and Crocodile learned it was just something he did. He preferred his solitude, so they did not go looking for him.

This time was no different. Sort of. Mihawk left today's gathering because something was off about it. Someone was missing. Mihawk could see it plain as day. The others had yet to notice.

He paused outside the big tent and looked around. Most of the island's residents were currently engaged in the festivities, so it was quiet around Buggy Town. Despite this, there was still no sign of his quarry.

Go to the beach, an inner voice told him.

It may be his instinct, or may be something else entirely, but Mihawk had found himself listening to that voice a lot lately. And it had yet to fail him, because he saw the bright setting sun the single silhouette of the one he was searching for. He began walking up behind the child sitting onnthe beach, the black wings twitching on its back at the sound of his footsteps in the sand.

"Talon," Mihawk said gently as he came to stand next to the seraphim. "What are you doing out here?"

"Nothing," the child answered.

Mihawk had come to know S-Hawk over the recent months since the child mysteriously appeared on the island. This was a clone made from his own being. Their personalities were quite similar as a result. So Mihawk recognized the tone in the boy's simple answer.

"Is something bothering you?"

Talon, as the child was called now, gave a quick glance to Mihawk before turning back to the ocean as the swordsman came to sit in the sand beside him. "I was just feeling weird."

Mihawk raised his brow. "How do you mean?"

Talon was silent for a moment, then replied, "I was just feeling...lonely, I guess."

"Mmm."

Mihawk understood that feeling all too well, despite the crowded island he now called home. 

"So you came out here, to be on your own."

"Yes. It's nice here. The ocean is singing again. It's happy."

Mihawk cocked an eyebrow. Regardless of his seraphim traits, sometimes Talon did give the impression of being an odd child. Then again, Mihawk was himself considered an oddity. "I admit, I thought you would be at the party. There is lemon cake. You always enjoy that."

"It was too noisy. And I wanted to see the Green Flash."

Mihawk tilted his head. "Oh really? Have you seen it before?"

"No." Talon brought a hand to twirl around the pendant hanging from his neck. It was an osprey talon encrusted with small jewels. Buggy had presented it to him as a welcoming gift into the Cross Guild Pirates, and S-Hawk decided the word for the bird claw was a sufficient name for a pirate. "Captain Buggy said everyone sees it at least once, and when they do, they get to make a wish on it."

The lower curve of the sun began to sink below the horizon as Mihawk gazed over the water. His eyes glowed a golden yellow. "I have seen it many times. It is quick. It takes focus to see it more than luck. I am gifted the advantage of seeing it moreso than others. And so are you."

Talon looked up at him. "You mean our eyes can see it better?"

Mihawk nodded.

Talon returned his gaze to the water, the same gold burning along a fiery ring of red in his own eyes. "I want to see it."

"I'm sure you will."

The sun was now halfway down. Talon stared at the glistening crests breaking on the beach. Mihawk silently watched with him.

"Mihawk?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think I will ever be as strong as you?"

Mihawk turned to the boy. "I think you are already quite strong like me, little one. That is your purpose."

Talon shifted and hugged his knees a little tighter. "I know. But...what if I don't always want to be strong?"

Interesting. Now Mihawk was silent for a moment before answering. "I've always done what I wanted. I never let anyone hold me back. That path has led me here. You were made to be like me. So, I would expect you to do exactly as I have. Do what ever you want to do. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Your path is just beginning. You get to decide where it takes you."

He saw the faintest hint of a relieved smile twisted at Talon's face. 

"Oh. That's good to know, I guess," the boy said.

The top curve of the sun sunk lower and lower. The sky behind them began to darken. The bands of orange and pink on the ocean's horizon intensified in a final peak of color.

Black wings fluttered in anticipation. "Here it comes!"

The last sliver of sunlight vanished and a split second of green luminance exploded across the sky and into the eyes that were keen enough to be waiting for it. A gasp of wonder could be heard as Mihawk bathed his sight with those few milliseconds of the rare green color. When he looked to Talon, there was an even rare smile spread wide across the child's face.

Mihawk couldn't help the little grin twisting at his mouth.

Talon turned his bright on him. "That was cool, huh?"

"Indeed it was. Did you make your wish?"

"Yeah!"

"Well, we shall see if it comes true in time."

The last light faded and the sky turned a deep indigo. Stars began appearing. He could return to the party now. He could go back inside, but Mihawk sensed there was no rush to move from their spot as Talon silently counted each speck of white glittering into view.

He didn't really want to leave right now, anyway.

He could easily sit out here in silence, counting stars and listening to the waves, with his little, yet powerful companion. Talon hummed along with a tune only he could apparently hear. Mihawk closed his eyes, breathing in the cool sea air.

"Mihawk?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I call you Dad?"

His eyes opened. His looked at the child who stared back with the exact same gaze. There was no hesitation. "Of course, little one. I would be honored."

Talon pressed his mouth into a thin smile and his wings gave a happy flap as he shuffled closer. He lay his head on Mihawk's coat, leaning into his side.

Mihawk was frozen still, not knowing quite what to do, but eventually settled on placing his arm over the child's shoulders. They went back to counting the lights in the sky.

There was a pit forming in Mihawk's chest. He distracted himself by searching for constellations. He felt like he should do something, he should say something, at this sudden change in their dynamic.

Though, was it really that big a change at all? He remembered back to when Talon first appeared and how the boy almost instantly earned his protection.

He supposed not.

A sigh relieved some the pressure in his chest. "Look, Talon." Mihawk pointed at the sky. "The edge of that constellation there, that is the Wishing Star."

Talon gazed up at the star with awe. "So that's where it is! Huh."

He then cuddled a little closer into Mihawk's side. "It's okay though. I won't need it."

The pit of pressure in Mihawk's chest became a cannon ball as his eyes blinked away unseen tears.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had an idea for an S-Hawk centric fic and this was my way of getting the premise started. I might focus more on it after I finish Tower of Sand. I just needed to get this little scene out of my head before it mauled me from the inside. If you've read my other fic, The Starlighter, there is a similar theme happening here.

#s hawk #dracule mihawk #s-hawk #cross guild #one piece #seraphim one piece #fanfic #fanfiction #hawkeyes mihawk #talon the seraphim

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

hiiii hiiii!!! was curious :3 how's it gooinnnng?? uh, feeling booooooorooooooored got any fun headcanons you have floating around the space station?? :3

It's going well enough, Anon! I finally got around to this! Sorry it took me so long, I've been having a hard time doing things. But never mind that! Here's a mixed bag of headcanons!

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Medic can make a killer hot chocolate. The only issue being, he will NOT elaborate on why he's so happy and eager to make you one.. He'll hand you the most beautifully decorated hot chocolate, but he stares at you with the most terrifying smile, staring through your soul. You should drink it, though, what's the worst that can happen.

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Speaking of Medic. This man would be a menace at Diner Dash. I can not explain. He'd just be so good at it. Put him in endless mode, and he'd play it for hours, you could not get him to put it down.

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Speaking of video games, Scout is insane at Mario Kart. He will kill you on Rainbow Road, you will not win against him, he's a maniac. He mains Peach. Also, funny enough, even though he has so many siblings, none of them would play Mario Kart with him. He may have teared up because Pyro asked to play with him.

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You know what, I'll just drop everyone's Mario Kart mains and their second option with no explanations!

Demo would main Yoshi, Dry Bones being his second

Engie would pick Daisy, dying on this kill. Um, as a second pick I get Lakitu vibes.

Heavy would choose Bowser, Luigi being his second

Medic switches between the princesses, but mainly Rosalina, King Boo being his second.

Scout is a Peach main ONLY, if he is alone! (One time, he messed up and picked Peach before anyone else could and was very embarrassed.) If he's playing with others, he picks Mario, Larry being his second.

Sniper doesn't care. He'd probably let someone else pick for him. He normally gets a princess character, but he doesn't mind.

Spy is always picking rose gold Peach, regardless of Scout's mocking. He doesn't need a second pick because he'll get pissy about it.

Soldier doesn't have a set main, but I feel like he'd pick any of Bowser's kids.

Pyro is a Shy Guy main, and I am so normal about it, Bowser Jr. Is its second pick.

None of them really fight over mains though, the all normally get the character they want.

————————————————————

Totally away from all of that. I think Spy listens to classical music, and Scout also likes classical music so one time, Scout heard it from Spy's room and just came in, starting to make fun of him, but ended up just... sitting with Spy. I think a lot of their bonding is nonverbal.

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Hey, I'm doing another speaking of bit, Spy has a habit of showing up at the exact moment someone needs something, with the item. Medic needs a coffee? Oh well, Spy just happened to be there with one. Scout's looking for something? Spy just found it! How strange. He always acts like its such an inconvenience, this is the only way he can show love.

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Scout, Sniper, Medic, and Soldier all have sensory and texture issues.

Scout will gag at the thought of eating puddings and jellos and can't stand flashing lights. Sniper hates bright lights and hates the texture of anything slimy. Medic is overwhelmed by noises in crowds and can't stand sticky foods. Soldier has issues with fabrics and tags and can't stand soft/smooth.

————————————————————

Back to Spy again, I think he really likes the smell of lilacs and vanilla, I don't know why.

————————————————————

Scout once ran out of Bonk, Medic offered him a tea. Medic and Scout drink tea together when one of them has a bad day.

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Engie collects rocks. He's just always been a fan. Sometimes, he'll sit outside the base, looking at the ground just searching for pretty rocks. He's given some to Pyro before, and now Pyro goes and sits with him sometimes.

————————————————————

Sniper's happiest moments in life are genuinely sitting in a dark room, not talking, just sitting with someone he cares about. He finds the presence of someone more comforting than words.

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You know those gimmick blogs that can identify something from one picture? Heavy can tell you exactly what book any quote is from.

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Pyro, Demo, and Soldier collect fireflies together sometimes.

Anyways! That's all I have for now. Sorry, they aren't anything major or great. But writing them made me smile, so thank you for that, anon!

I'm hoping I'm finally back to writing because this reminded me how fun it is.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 demoman #tf2 engineer #tf2 heavy #tf2 medic #tf2 scout #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 headcanons

[damn-stark]

Chapter 1 Beautiful girl

Chapter 1 of Tragedy at the Miller’s

A/N- I really hope you guys like the first chapter, I’m very proud of it! And I hope you guys stick around for more :)

Warning- FLUFF :): violence, death, blood, swearing, and suggested sexual assault.

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader, Henry x Fem!reader

Episode- 1x01

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

“Alarm.”

There’s slight movement on the bed, and a weight gets lifted off your neck.

An annoying sound fills the room, but you ignore its screeching cries even if they don’t cry for your attention.

“Alarm!” Sarah yells out.

You groan and stretch out, feeling the bottom of your feet hit flesh.

“Come on,” you hear your fathers hoarse voice nearby before you feel a hand wrap around your arm to pull you up. “It’s time to get up.”

The hand around your arm slips off, letting you drop back on the bed. And the additional weight that once was on the bed is lifted off. You keep your eyes closed to avoid the warm rays of sun that already kiss your face, and groan softly before you flip around and curl up on the warm and sunken place your father was just laying on, finding solace in his smell that clung onto his pillows.

“Tomorrow,” you groan in a feigned deep voice.

There’s a scoff before suddenly arms wrap around you and pick you off the bed to throw you over his shoulder. You keep your eyes closed as he begins moving, but wrap your arms around his neck to keep warm and smile as you pat his back.

“Happy birthday, daddy,” you mumble since that’s not something you’ll ever forget, even if you still feel sleepy.

You then lift your head off his shoulder to press a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you baby,” he says as he gently caresses the back of your head.

“I have a present for you,” you share happily and lay your head back on his shoulder.

“Do you? Is it hm, maybe, brushing your teeth.”

You finally open your eyes and pull back to meet his gaze and giggle. “No!” You swipe back the strands of hair that were tickling the corner of your mouth as they stuck to your face due to the drool that had been spilling out of your mouth when you were sleeping.

Your dad then sucks air in through his teeth and narrows his gaze as he leans in and sniffs. “Oh no? Because your breath kinda stinks.” He remarks and places you down on your stool placed against the sink counter.

You roll your eyes and shift around to face the mirror, making sure to brush back your poorly cut bangs you had ruined last week because you swore you could be a hairstylist at 4–you still kinda do think you can be one.

Regardless, you grab your purple brush off the cup and put it under the running water, before you quickly squeeze toothpaste on the brush and begin to brush rapidly since you do have to show your dad a part of your present.

You brush up and down, side to side, and spit out the toothpaste before splashing water on your face and hopping off the stool.

“Change!” Your dad shouts from the bathroom with his toothbrush in his mouth.

Of course you know to do so that’s what you’re doing now. However, you don’t grab your own clothes, you run to his drawer and go on your tiptoes to pull open his shirt drawer. Since you can’t actually see, you just grab whichever shirt your hand lands on first and swipe it before running out of his room to run to yours.

The smell of breakfast runs up the stairs and travels to your nose, waking up your appetite and causing you to rapidly throw on your dads shirt that drowns your body and fits like a dress. You then proceed to search in your white chest full of costumes.

“Come on,” you mumble and lean further inside as you search for something small.

However, at that moment you end up finding your fairy wings and throw them out even if it doesn’t match your costume. They’re just sparkly and catch your attention. And they’re your favorite.

After that you then continue to search for your intended item.

“Y/N, come on!” You hear your dad call out from the hall before his footsteps recede down the stairs.

You mumble something you don’t even understand, and finally, stuck at the bottom of your chest is the black swirly mustache you need. So you peel it off the wood and stick it on yourself before you pull away and swipe the fairy wings off the floor to put them on as you finally run out to join your sister Sarah, and your dad downstairs.

“Morning,” Sarah says as she hears you running down the stairs whilst she takes out orange juice from the fridge.

“Mornin’!” You greet back and hop off the last step to then run to the high stool against the island.

Since it’s so high off the ground you slap your palms on the surface of the chair and struggle to push yourself on top to watch Sarah pour orange juice in your glass cup.

“Here,” she says and slides the cup over to you. “I’ll give you more later.”

You lean over the table and slide it to you. “Thank you,” you say and shoot her a beaming smile, catching her own smile as she sees your costume in all its glory.

She then grabs the other cup and pours juice in that one too to offer it to your dad as he turns around to face her with his mug of delicious smelling coffee.

“Vitamin C,” Sarah deadpans and places it down on the counter so your dad can take it.

“Daddy…” you call out for his attention and chug some juice as if you’ve never had anything to drink before. “…Look,” you sigh when you’ve swallowed.

As your dad is drinking his juice he turns, and his eyes immediately widen as his lips lift to a smile when he sees how you’re dressed.

“I’m you,” you reveal as if it isn’t obvious by his shirt and your fake mustache. “Happy birthday!” You shoot him a beaming grin.

He places the cup down and his grin widens. “What’s up with the wings?” He points.

You peer back at your fairy wings and shrug. “I like ‘em. You like it though?! And my mustache?!” You ask and pat it.

“It’s like part one in her four part present,” Sarah explains for you. “She’s worked hard on it.”

You nod in agreement and slide off your seat with your cup in hand.

“I love it, baby,” your dad says. “You look just like me.”

You pump your fist in excitement as you head to your seat around the small wooden circle table.

“You get your homework done?” Your dad asks Sarah whilst you find it easier to climb on these lower wooden seats. “Fractions?”

Sarah laughs and before long, breakfast is brought to the table, and the three of you peacefully eat eggs and cooked meat you don’t touch.

“How old are you again?” You ask your dad as you shove eggs in your mouth.

“Thirty-six,” he says.

You swallow and laugh, “that’s so old,” before Sarah interjects too.

“Gonna have to wear diapers soon.”

You giggle and watch your dad for his reaction.

“Who says I don’t already?” He retorts, causing you to laugh harder.

“That’s so gross,” you comment.

Your dad leans over and points at you. “You’re gonna have to change 'em.”

You stick your tongue out in disgust and shake your head, making him laugh before he pulls something out of his mouth. “Shell,” he says.

“Calcium,” Sarah counters and shoots your dad a grin that’s full of food.

“Lovely.”

You smile at her with admiration before you laugh softly. “You’re so silly, Sarah.”

Sarah looks over at you and nods with a sly smirk. “Aren't I?”

You nod and scrape up more eggs on your spoon.

“Is there enough for Uncle Tommy?” Your dad asks Sarah.

“Well, there would’ve been.”

You look down at your plate and see that you still have a piece or two left. “He can have some of mine,” you suggest, and then look back as the garage door opens and your uncle walks in.

“Uncle Tommy!” You greet with excitement.

Said man walks over and pats your dads shoulder, “Hey! You’re still alive, you old fucker.” He ruffles your hair and steals half a sausage from your plate.

“Aw, he loves you,” Sarah says.

“He’s dependent on me. Not the same,” your dad redirects.

You snap your head to the other side to look at your uncle in the kitchen.

“I think it’s the same.”

“It’s definitely the same,” your uncle bounces off your sister's comment. “I thought we was havin’ pancakes.”

“We’ll pick you somethin’ up on the road—”

“Uncle Tommy,” you cut your dad off. “You like my costume?” You furrow your eyebrows and clear your throat to mock your dads voice. “I’m daddy.”

Your uncle looks over and chuckles right away. “I love it. You nailed it, you look just like him, Sunny. Especially that mustache,” he says and points to your fake mustache.

You grin and kick your feet before you show your dad your smile as he watches with a serious face you quickly mock.

“Eat,” he grumbles.

“I am,” you whisper in your normal voice and focus back on your food whilst he continues to speak.

“Concrete guys gonna be there?”

“Yeah, they said maybe,” your uncle answers your dad.

“Maybe?” Your dad quickly snaps back. “We can’t frame until we pour. We’re not gettin’ paid until we frame.”

You sip some juice and look between the two men.

“Well, we could bring someone else on, get the job done faster.”

“No, no,” your dad counters your uncle Tommy. “I’m not splittin’ this job. I barely wanna split it with you. We could work a double.”

You may not understand at all what they’re saying even if you are very much intrigued by their conversation, but you do know what your dad means by working a double. He’s gonna stay out longer.

“What?” You whine.

“Literally?” Sarah protests in annoyance. “Today?”

Your dad looks between Sarah and you and tries to assure you both. “I know. I’d be done by nine. By nine, right?” He asks your uncle for reassurance.

You begin to pout in anger and sink back in your seat to display your frustration.

“Yeah,” your uncle Tommy confirms.

“I’ll bring back a cake,” your dad continues and pats your hand. “I promise.”

You perk up and ask, “chocolate cake?”

Your dad meets your gaze and nods. “Yeah, of course.”

And with that your anger sweeps away and you feel happy once again.

“…continued disturbances in Jakarta, but are advising U.S. citizens…”

“Jakarta,” your dad comments as he pulls his hand away from yours to grab his mug. “Where is that, Middle East?”

“Doesn’t ring a bell,” your uncle Tommy says. “It’s definitely a country. Or maybe part of Asia?”

“Jakarta isn’t a country,” Sarah interjects. “Being a part of Asia isn’t mutually exclusive with being a country…”

Her words tune out of your ears as all your hear is a jumble of mess you don’t understand, nor do you want to understand. You show that confusion clearly on your face and look over at your Uncle Tommy, and he shares a teasing smile.

“Shit,” he then says and looks at your sister. “Hope for us yet.”

The microwave then beeps and then it hits you at that moment, the next part of your dads present.

“Daddy!” You exclaim and stand up on your feet. “Can I sing you your birthday song?!”

Your dad looks up at you and nods, whilst Sarah already begins to discreetly laugh before you can even do a thing.

“Yay,” you mutter happily, and clear your throat before you begin to bop your head and sing a song you had heard a hundred times before in the place you get taken care of.

“Go, go, go, go, shorty. It’s your birthday. We gon’ to party like it’s your birthday, we gon’ sip—”

However, before you can finish, you come to an abrupt stop as your Uncle Tommy begins to chuckle loudly.

“No,” you whine and fall on your seat. “Uncle Tommy!” You cry and slam your head on the table. “Don’t laugh!” You shout.

No tears come out of your eyes because you don’t really intend to cry, you’re just pretending because you’re angry at him, and your dad gets your uncle in trouble when he makes you cry.

“Don’t laugh at me!” You continue to shout.

“I’m not laughin’!” He chuckles. “It’s just cute that’s all.”

“All right,” your dad interjects and ignores your fake sniffles. “Finish up quick, we'll drop you off.”

You continue to sniffle and peek an eye out, seeing your dad walking to the sink with your plate and his in hand. Since you haven’t gotten the reaction you wanted you keep yourself plastered on the table.

“I’m still eating my egg shells,” Sarah complains.

“You got seven minutes.” Your dad tells her.

“Your t-shirt is inside out,” Sarah points out.

“Shit,” your dad curses as he walks back to the table to pick you off the chair. “Come on you, let’s get you changed.”

You sniffle and shed a single tear. “Uncle Tommy laughed at me.” You say and hook your arms around his neck.

Your dad caresses the back of your back head and assures you, “I’ll talk to him. I liked your song though….Where did you learn it though?”

You begin to smile. “Miss Denise, her son Dwayne listens to a lot of songs she doesn’t like. They always fight about it.”

Your dad hums and then does as he said, he helps you get changed before he turns his shirt the correct way. And like all the other times he doesn’t fix your hair since he’s in a hurry to leave for work, he just gets you changed, puts your shoes on and carries you out after he helps you.

“Tommy,” he says and puts you down in the garage. “Can you take y/n across the street, I’ll load the stuff onto the truck.”

“‘Course,” your uncle Tommy agrees since it is a basically routine already. “Come on now, Sunny,” your uncle says and offers you his hand.

Choosing to forget that he laughed at you for now, you happily grab your uncle's hand. And once you walk out of the shade the garage provides, you immediately get greeted.

“Morning y/n!”

You look over and squint your eyes to block out the sun. “Morning!” You greet the old man back happily.

“You want a biscuit?” He asks.

You shake your head. “Nah, I already ate!”

Your uncle then nudges your arm and whispers. “What do you say?”

You hesitate for a moment before it clicks. “Thank you!” Your dad then passes by and you smile as you remember. “Hey, did you know it’s my daddy’s birthday! He’s turning thirty-six!” You share.

“No,” the old man exclaims. “Now I know! Happy birthday, Joel.”

You beam, and see your dad let out a sigh before he turns to face the neighbor taking in the morning sun and feeding Nana some biscuit.

“Thank you,” your dad says, whilst your uncle begins to encourage you forward

“Come on, let’s get you across the street,” he says.

As you follow at his side you peer back one more time to direct your dad a goodbye. “Goodbye daddy!”

Said man peers over his shoulder and waves goodbye. “Goodbye, baby. I’ll see you after work. Your sister is gonna pick you up after she gets home from school, okay?”

You nod and yell out your response. “Okay! Goodbye!”

——

*LATER*

All morning, even up to now there have been loud sounds rumbling in the sky, sirens have been crying all day, and Miss Denise never let you watch t.v. because she said she had to watch the news. And all day you’ve been bored because someone forgot to pack your toys and crayons.

You’ll forgive him though because it’s his birthday. The good thing now is that you're gonna have cookies!

“I was thinkin’ we’d make some cookies.” Mrs Adler says.

You beam up and run to the stool. “Chocolate chip?” You ask with excitement.

Mrs Adler turns around and meets your gaze with a happy smile. “Raisin,” she says.

That’s what she’s happy about? Fruit cookies?

Once her back is turned to you, you look back at Sarah and scrunch your nose and stick your tongue out to show your disgust.

She nods and mirrors your gestures before she walks over and helps you on the stool.

“Daddy forgot to pack my things,” you whine and prop your elbow on the table.

Sarah walks to her seat and pulls her backpack off her shoulders. “It’s okay, I brought you back up paper and crayons,” she assures you as she unzips her backpack to pull out what she said and hand them to you.

So while she does her homework you work on your next present for your dad, a drawing. You even stick out your tongue as if it's the hardest thing in the world—Because it really is to you because you want it to be perfect.

Yet that actually gets your stomach grumbling. But when the timer alerts that the fruit cookies are ready, that hunger isn't as important.

“You wanna give me a hand?” Mrs Adler breaks you away from your drawing.

You lift your gray crayon up and look up—your dad always said to be nice to old people, so you nod and slide off your chair to reach her side.

“Here,” the lady says and helps you on a step so you can reach the counter—“Now,” she adds and hands you oven mittens. “Wear them or you’ll get burnt.”

You do as she says and laugh as the mittens look funny on your little hands. You try to pretend they’re puppets, but then Mrs Adler hands you a spatula so you can help her unstick the cookies from the pan to place them somewhere else.

“Hey, Mrs Adler?” You hear Sarah call out before you see her walk in the kitchen. “Could I borrow this?” She asks and hands the lady a movie box once she reaches the counter.

“Yeah sure,” the lady laughs, whilst you lean over and see that it’s some adult movie—“It’s one of Danny’s,” she continues to say and hands Sarah back the movie, letting your sister then look at you to share a brief look that you understand.

“You know what?” Your sister interjects. “Our dads gonna be back real soon. We should go.”

Without hesitation you spin around and slide off the chair.

“Are you sure?” Mrs Adler probes.

Sarah nods, “yeah.”

You reach for the counter and swipe your drawing off the table.

“Well, you girls are takin’ some cookies,” Mrs Adler adds.

Great. Fruit cookies.

“Y/N,” the lady says. “You want one now? They’re cool enough to eat.” Without waiting for your answer she walks over to you to hand one to you.

Since you don’t want to be rude to hurt her feelings you take it and shoot her a wide smile as you bring it close to your mouth, whilst Sarah packs her stuff in her backpack.

You open your mouth and pretend you're going to take a bite, but just as Mrs Adler turns around you stuff the cookie in your pocket and just pretend to have your mouth full

“Good?” The lady asks with her back turned.

You hum and nod as you keep your cheeks puffed out.

“Good!” The lady says and walks off, letting you breathe out.

“Come on, let’s go, y/n,” Sarah calls out and reaches for your hand.

Eagerly before you can be given more fruit cookies you wipe your hand on your shirt before grabbing your sister's hand to walk to the door. Yet on your way there, Sarah stops as Mercy, the Adler’s dog begins to whine.

“What’s wrong with him?” You ask as you look at him in worry.

Sarah shrugs. “I don’t know,” she says and steals one last look at him before she continues to pull you out. However, you keep looking back at the whining dog until you can’t see him anymore once you’re out the door.

“I’m hungry,” you say and rub your stomach as you both hop off the step.

“Me too,” Sarah agrees as she walks you over the grass to wave her hand under the sprinklers. “We can have some leftovers at home.”

Once home, you eat as you finally watch cartoons. You wait for your dad to come home and finish his drawing. However, waiting turns out to be an eternity, the sun that was once outside disappears and leaves the sky dark, and with even more sirens every few minutes, and more loud noises in the sky. Eventually you begin to feel your eyes get heavy, but you’re determined to stay awake to wait for your dad.

And luckily after a long time keys jingle before the door opens, and your dad walks in.

“Daddy!” You greet happily and shoot up from the couch.

“Hey, baby,” he greets back as he walks over. “You’re awake?”

You nod and hop off the couch to run to the kitchen and grab the cone birthday hats from the table as he talks with Sarah. When you run back you place them on the table to wait for Sarah to give her his presents first, and instead head back to the couch. “Scooch,” you mutter to your dad.

He huffs at your comment but does as you say and makes room for you on the couch at his opposite side.

“Where’s the cake?” Sarah asks, making you realize that he in fact didn't have the chocolate cake he promised.

“Shit,” he groans.

You groan too and shake your head in disapproval.

“C’mon, man,” Sarah mutters with discontent.

“I’ll get us one tomorrow,” your dad assures her as he takes off his work boots.

“Swear, or you don’t get your present.”

Your dad looks up and questions your sister's comment, “you got me a present?”

“Swear.”

“On my life,” he whispers, making Sarah hesitate for a second before she turns around to grab his gift.

You stand up on the couch right away to watch eagerly, catching your dad turn around to look up at you. “You’re not mad at me are you, Sunny?” He asks and wraps his arms around you.

You beam down at him and wrap your arms around his neck. “Of course not. I can never be mad at you, daddy, ” you comfort him sweetly. “We can have cake tomorrow, or the day after that. Or Mrs Adler can make fruit cake.”

“Fruit cake?” He query’s with his brow quirked.

You scrunch your nose in disgust and nod. “Yeah. She made fruit cookies today,” she sigh

“Gross,” he mumbles before he pulls you down to sit you on his lap and press a kiss on your head before you both look over at Sarah as she hands him a small box.

“Wow,” he comments and shows it off to you first before he opens it, revealing a watch with a green strap.

“Fixed it for you,” Sarah says.

Your dad gets the watch out of the box and pulls it up to his ear. “Did you?” He asks her.

Sarah’s eyebrows furrow and she quickly retorts, “what?” before she pulls his hand towards her.

“I don’t hear anything,” he says.

Sarah looks at the watch with concern for a brief second and makes your dad begin to laugh. Sarah hears and then pushes him back, causing you to move back too.

“Hey!” You exclaim.

“That was lame,” Sarah quips. “You’re lame.”

“Yeah, I know,” your dad agrees and grabs onto you tighter so you won’t fall back. “Where’d you get the money for this?” He asks her as he begins to put on his watch.

“Drugs,” she deadpans. “I sell hardcore drugs.”

“It’s better than what I do,” he mutters.

“It was only twenty dollars, which I stole from you.”

You cover your mouth and say, “oh,” with your eyes wide in shock.

Your dad shares a quick teasing look with you before you both point your looks at Sarah.

“I could’ve stolen 60,” she explains herself, “but I put the change back because I’m an honest thief.”

He hums and shares another look with you, making you cross your arms over your chest to then stare her down.

“Besides, it’s the thought that counts. And you were never gonna do it yourself, so.”

Your dad looks back at her and lets his gaze linger for a moment before he looks at his watch he finishes fixing on his wrist.

“Thank you,” he mutters.

You let your arms fall and look at Sarah with admiration, catching her soft smile.

“What do you say?” Your dad asks you with a teasing look. “Should we forgive her?”

You meet your older sister's gaze and shoot her a smile before you nod without hesitation. “Yes.”

Your dad scoffs and smirks.

“Why don’t you give dad your present, y/n?” Sarah encourages you, making you slide off your dads lap to grab the birthday hats.

“Daddy,” you say with a grin and turn to jump on the couch to put a red birthday hat on his head that simply says ‘happy birthday’ on it. “That’s for you. I have one for…Sarah…” you trail off and jump off to go to her.

She sees you get close and ducks her head down so you can put a hat on her head. After that you place the last hat on your own head. “And one for me!” You smile.

“Oh, wow…” your dad says and pushes the hat back from his forehead. “We look funny.”

You giggle and nod. “Yeah. I know.” You then jump and spin around to grab the drawing from the table and show it off to him.

“And my last present, a drawing,” you squeal, and look down at the paper to point at him drawn floating off the ground and with the same red hat on his head. “That’s you, you’re frowning because that’s what you always do….”

“So true,” Sarah snorts, whilst your dad just scoffs.

“And that’s…a cake,” you point to the tiny brown circle cake in the middle. “I couldn’t fit thirty-six candles so I just put one.”

You shift your eyes across the page and point to the curly headed girl that’s taller than your dad. “That’s Sarah,” you point out and slide your finger to the side. “And that’s me,” you point to yourself holding her hand. “We’re smiling ‘cause you’re gonna blow out the candles and make a wish.”

Sarah giggles, and your dad begins to grin.

“And this…” you point to the tiny man next to him with a big smile. “…Is Uncle Tommy. He’s tiny because he laughed at me today.”

Your dad snorts in amusement before he narrows his eyes and points to the gray and black swirls over your uncle's head that come out of his smile. “What’s that?” He asks.

You look closer and giggle. “That’s his smoke from his cigarette.”

Your dad chuckles and takes the drawing from you. “Wow, baby, this is amazing, you’re so good!”

You climb on his lap and smile proudly. “You really like it?” You ask and hold your hands together.

Your dad looks down at you and nods with a happy smile on his face. “I really love it. Thank you.” He says and leans down to press a kiss on your head.

You clap your hands and grin before you cling onto his neck to hug him.

“Oh, there’s one more,” Sarah adds and turns around to pull out the movie she had brought from the Adler's house. And that immediately makes him happier.

“Borrowed it from the Adler’s,” Sarah continues as your dad looks at the movie of a ninja and some guy.

“This is the one with the deleted scenes,” your dad points out in amazement.

“Yeah, imagine how bad those have to be. C’mon,” Sarah nudges him. “Pop it in. While it’s still your birthday.”

Your dad holds onto you as he gets off the couch to put in the movie. When he returns to the couch to change the tv, Sarah gets closer to him and cuddles at his side, while you cuddle yourself on his other side.

“Don’t fall asleep,” he tells Sarah and you.

“‘Course, I won’t, it’s too riveting,” Sarah says.

You shake your head. “I won’t either,” you assure him.

However, once the movie begins to play it fails to grab your attention, so it doesn’t take long for you to finally give in to the sleep that had already been lurking. And all you know before you fall asleep is that you were holding onto your dads arm and resting your head on his shoulder, while Sarah lay her head on his lap. You knew you were in the living room, and only saw them before the darkness came.

But when you wake up to more loud noises rumbling in the sky and bright lights flashing over your eyes, your dad nor Sarah are with you anymore, you’re not in the living room, you’re actually in your room, on your own bed, alone. Since the noises scare you like the nightmares and the shadows in the corner of your room, you get off your bed and run over to your dads room.

However, when you walk in he’s not in bed. “Daddy?” You call out in a quivering voice. You slowly walk further in and part your lips again, but nothing comes out because then another light flashes outside that scares you right over to Sarah’s room.

When you see that she’s sleeping you carefully close the door before you tiptoe over and climb on her bed. When you get under her sheets she probably feels you because right away without a fault she wraps her arm around you and pulls you close to her.

She may not be your dad, but she is one of your favorite people, she still brings you comfort, she still makes you feel calm. Enough so that you fall asleep again in her arms.

——

*LATER THAT NIGHT*

“…come on, babygirl…”

There’s soft murmurs of a familiar voice by your ear, but it tunes out quickly as you remain half asleep, thinking that the voice you hear, that the sensation of being carried is all a part of some dream.

“…hey, I have her. Let’s go. Come on…”

The voice gets louder now, and second by second your mind begins to grasp that you’re not asleep anymore.

“…Denise, you get back inside the house! You lock your doors! Now!”

You begin to flutter your eyes open, and the first thing you see through your blurry sight is the outside of your house from inside of the truck.

“C’mon, c’mon, get in!”

You drift your eyes to the side and identify a blurry sight of your dad getting inside.

“Daddy?” You ask groggily as you wipe your eyes.

In that immediate second your dad looks back with his eyes wide and full of fear you can easily detect.

“It’s okay, baby,” he tries to assure you. “We’re just going away for a bit okay?”

“Okay,” you whisper and drop your hands. You then blink and spot your uncle Tommy driving, you drift your eyes to the side to look outside the window, spotting the Adlers outside their house as your uncle drives by; they’re walking and seem to be in their pajamas, but they also have something on their shirt. “Daddy? Why is Mr—”

“Hey,” he cuts you off and snaps his head back. “Look at me, just look at me, okay, baby? Sarah, get your seatbelt on and then help your sister.”

With the fear in his voice and the way it’s risen louder, you immediately begin to feel a fear twisting your heart strings.

“Jesus Christ, Joel!”

You gasp softly at the shout and try to look back, but Sarah then calls for your attention. “Hey, you want to help me grab your straps.”

You blink and meet her gaze, catching that same fear on her face, but she tries to assure you as she helps strap yourself on your seat.

“Okay,” you mumble and reach your left hand back to put your hand through the strap before you pull it forward and hand it to Sarah, so she can buckle you in.

Sirens then drive by, flashing their bright red and blue lights and stealing your attention out the window.

“Daddy—”

“We don’t know,” your dad cuts Sarah off.

“They’re saying it’s a virus…” you hear your uncle Tommy input.

You slowly look over at him and try to understand what that means, noticing an empty backpack on the car floor by your feet in the meanwhile.

“…Some kind of parasite.”

“Is it from terrorists?” Sarah asks, but you can’t understand, all you can do is listen and find no meaning to their words—no, actually all you do understand is fear.

“We don’t know,” your dad interjects.

“Are we sick?” Sarah continues to ask, making your eyes widen and your heart beat faster.

Your dad looks back and assures your sister. “No. Of course not.”

His words comfort you even if you don’t understand the grand scheme of things.

“Why did things blow up?” Sarah continues.

Yet she gets no answer. Your uncle speaks but not on that matter. “No cellphone, no radio,” he says and turns off the static that had begun to annoy you. “Minute ago, newsman wouldn’t shut up.”

“How do you know?”

“What?” Your dad probes Sarah’s question.

“How do you know we’re not sick?”

Again? Why is she asking that again?

Unless….

“We’re sick?” You interject panicked.

Your dad looks back and meets Sara’s gaze before he looks over at you and shakes his head. “No, we’re not sick.”

You blink and swallow thickly out of lingering fear.

“They’re saying it’s mostly people in the city,” your uncle adds. “It’s why they got the highway blocked off.”

You blink again, and as you look out the front window you catch a bright burning fire swallowing a house whole.

“God,” your uncle mutters. “That’s Jimmy’s place.”

As you pass by you lean closer to the window beside you to watch the blazing flames, and all you see is a great angry monster that destroyed the house, that wanted to eat you and everything else.

“Daddy, what’s going on, I’m scared,” you whisper in a quivering voice and with your eyes brimming with tears.

Said man looks back and reaches his hand over to pat your knee. “It’s okay, baby, you’re gonna be okay,” he comforts you.

You let your eyes linger on him and nod slowly as you choose to believe him. “Okay,” you whisper and grab onto your seat straps.

“The Adlers would take Nana into the city,” Sarah adds. “To the hospital for stuff.”

“That’s right,” your dad agrees. “They would. That’s probably why.”

Are they sick? Is that why they were outside?

“But you’d have to go a lot, right?”

“We’re fine,” your uncle assures Sarah. “Trust me.”

Sirens echo out from outside, but when you peek out the window all you see is darkness, shadows and monsters lurking within them.

“Sarah,” you mumble and look at your sister sitting beside your car seat. “Can you hold my hand?”

Your sister looks at you and nods with a very faint smile on her lips. “‘Course,” she whispers and reaches over to wrap her hand around yours.

You smile softly, but that’s when you catch people outside on the street waving and calling for help, making you hold onto Sarah tighter.

“What are you doin’?” Your dad spats as the car slows down.

“Got a kid, Joel,” your uncle Tommy points out, letting you notice a small kid probably around your age hugging his mom.

“So do we. Keep driving.”

Without hesitation the car speeds up and the man cries out louder. Now rather than looking back you look between your dad and your uncle, and wonder why your dad wasn’t nice enough to let the strangers in the car with you.

“Fuck!” Your uncle then exclaims, making your shoulders jump. “Everybody had the same fuckin’ idea.”

You lift your eyes from Sarah’s hand and see that you’re now driving to the freeway, you see hundreds of red lights from the hundreds of cars not moving. Some cars even try to go the wrong way, resulting in them almost crashing into your car, and making you close your eyes to avoid seeing them as they flash in your eyes.

“I can’t get through this,” your uncle Tommy says.

“All right, let’s think it through, we’ll think it through,” you hear your dad say.

“Fuck!”

“All right, take the field. We cut across and we pick up on the west side.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.” you hear your uncle agree. “West, west, all right. All right, hang on.”

The car ride begins to get bumpy, and out of curiosity you open your eyes to check out what's going on, and see that you’re driving on grass now. You’re driving to some place with a lot of lights, but then they change their mind and turn to drive towards a town instead.

The further you get though, the more the noises become; like the plane's engines that fly low, the quicker your head begins to spin and heighten those fearful thoughts. The more the car keeps moving, the more people you see run and hear scream, the harder your chest begins to hurt whilst your breathing quickens. You couldn’t even find solace with Sarah next to you.

You try to close your eyes, block out everything that you saw, everything you heard, but just as you try, lights flash at your side, and when you look over a car almost crashes at your side of the car, making you scream and cover your ears.

“Daddy!” You cry out. “I wanna go home!”

“It’s okay baby, just keep your eyes closed, okay?” He says and pats your knee again.

You don’t answer this time because even with words, even with his touch you still can’t calm down or keep your head from hurting. So you keep trying to squeeze your eyes tighter. However, that doesn’t block out all the shouting outside, or your dads yelling, you can hear it all booming in your ears.

Albeit, suddenly something cuts it all off, something louder sounding behind you, it even rumbles the car. When you look back you see an airplane approaching the car.

“Daddy?!” You cry out.

As the plane gets close you slap your hands over your ears again, you try to call out for your dad again, but then…

There's nothing….

——

“…Y/N…”

You groan and feel inklings of pain all over your body. You hear flames burning, but it’s all dark.

This must be a dream. You’re on Sarah’s bed, having a nightmare.

“Y/N?”

That’s him, your dad, he’s back.

Once again you flutter your eyes open, but instead of seeing Sarah’s room, you see the car again, however now everything is upside down, Sarah, your dad, your uncle, the streets. And now you feel stuck and in pain.

“Daddy?” You whimper out and begin to pant. “It hurts.”

Your dad sighs in relief and reaches his hand out, but he can’t grab you. “Don’t move,” he says. “Don’t move. Your uncle Tommy is gonna help you, okay?”

You keep your eyes glued on him and nod, “okay,” you say in a trembling voice.

There’s finally no more yelling outside, or loud planes, there’s nothing but ringing in your ears that gets lower and lower.

You try to look to the side to check on Sarah, but just as you catch sight of your sister and your dad beginning to crawl over to her, the door beside you opens and you see your uncle Tommy.

“Hey, Sunny,” he says in a soft voice. “Ima gonna help you out, okay? Hold onto me,” he instructs and then crawls over to you to grab you from under one arm while he uses the other to try and unbuckle your restraints.

You reach over and wrap your arms around his neck, but just as he tries to pull off your restraints there’s sharp burning pains that suddenly slam into you. “Ow! Ow!” You cry out.

Your uncle's eyes meet yours and he quickly tries to comfort you, “I'm sorry, I’m sorry, the restraints are cutting you, I’m sorry,” he says, but continues to pull, only causing more pain.

Until finally the sharp pain disappears, leaving only the burning pain as you feel weightless.

“Hold on tight,” your uncle says and pulls you towards him before he grabs the backpack from the floor, and then crawls back outside.

And once you’re out from under the car your uncle puts you down on the ground. That’s when you see that fires are in fact true, they weren’t just part of your mind, they burn all around….

“Look at me,” your uncle startles you. “Don’t look anywhere else, okay?”

You shut your mouth and curl your hands to fists as you nod and try not to cry.

“Joel, how you doin’ over there?!” Your uncle shouts as he grabs your hand and yanks you to him.

“Sarah,” you hear your dad yell, “her leg is hurt, can you hold onto y/n?!”

Your heart sinks at the sound, but you also feel happy to hear from your dad again.

“Yeah, yeah! I can! Y/N,” your uncle then calls, making you meet his gaze again. “I need you to climb on my back and put your legs through the backpacks straps, and wrap your legs around me, okay? You then have to hold onto my neck very tight, okay? Don’t let go, ever.” He instructs as he swings on the empty backpack.

You sniffle and nod quickly whilst you keep your eyes on him like he said, you ignore the fires and the people that lay on the ground. Once he’s done he picks you up, and you climb on to his back to put each leg through a backpack strap to sit like if it were some baby carrier moms wear at the parks.

“Hold onto me,” your uncle repeats.

You nod and cling your arms around him, managing to see everything now that you’re on his back; the fires from all the cars crashed onto the street, broken windows, open stores, bodies and…red blood. Real blood.

Up to this point blood only existed when you got cuts, it hurt, but your dad always made it disappear. Blood existed in the movies, it was fake, it was never puddled and gushing out of people.

“Where’s my daddy?” You ask in a quivering voice.

“He’s helping Sarah,” your uncle assures you before he turns around to face the truck that you notice is flipped upside down and broken like the others.

“We gotta get off the street!” Your uncle yells, not even seconds later a police siren screech’s out, causing him to run away.

However, he doesn’t make it far because he then falls down on his knees as the car crashes into the truck and triggers an explosion that forces you to close your eyes and squeal.

“Tommy?! Y/N?!”

Your uncle gets up, and you snap your eyes open to look to where you heard your name, seeing the fire envelope both the truck and the police car now.

“Daddy?!” You call out.

“Tommy? Y/N?”

Your uncle approaches the cars on fire and stops by them to crouch and shout. “Head to the river! I’ll find a way.”

You lower your head and see your dad past a gap of the cars on fire. “Daddy?” You call out again.

His eyes snap to you at that moment and he points. “Y/N, you listen to your uncle Tommy, okay?” He says. “Sarah and I will see you again in a bit, okay?!”

You squint to try and see your sister, but you don’t catch a glimpse of her. Much to your disappointment.

“Get her outta here, Joel!” Your uncle yells.

“You take care of her!” Your dad shouts back. “Keep her safe!”

Your uncle nods. “I will. Go!”

Without waiting a moment longer your uncle Tommy begins to walk ahead, towards the bodies, towards the fire, towards people…towards...people eating other people.

“Uncle Tommy,” your jaw drops as tears escape down your cheeks now. “Why…why,” you stammer as your eyes widen in horror. “Is that man biting that other—”

“Hey, you close your eyes,” he cuts you off. “Close your eyes.”

You blink and look back as he makes a turn into a store. You keep your eyes on the man eating that other man as if your eyes were stuck on them, and ask yourself why. You can’t grasp for a single second why they’d do that.

That’s all that occupies your mind besides the horror that paralyzes you, that single question.

You only close your eyes after, hoping it would all be a nightmare, hoping that when you open them again you’ll wake up next to your sister, or your dad.

But no, when you open your eyes you just see bright white lights on the ceiling, and shelves of food. Behind you there’s still fire and people eating other people. And once you get past the cash register your uncle comes to a sudden halt before he makes a sharp turn around to point his gun at a woman bleeding out on the floor.

“Is she gonna eat us?” You utter and keep your eyes on the lady as your uncle slowly walks back.

“No,” he shakes his head. “No. Just close your eyes…”

His words trail off as from the corner of your eye you catch a tall skinny man twitching in between one of the aisles. “Uncle Tommy,” you whisper. “There’s one—”

Before you can finish however, the man snaps his head over to you and looks at you for a second before he breaks into a sprint towards you. You scream and your uncle doesn’t hesitate to try and run to the back door.

Nevertheless, the lady that had been on the ground suddenly gets up and heads towards you too.

You open your mouth to try and scream, but not a single sound escapes out of your mouth from the terror, so instead you proceed to squeeze your eyes shut, and press your head against your uncle's shoulder as he runs into the back room.

“Hold on y/n! Hold on!” He yells as you feel him running.

Albeit he suddenly comes to a sudden halt just as you feel the cold breeze hit your body; he moves his leg up and groans before there’s a thud. You want to open your eyes to see, but then in that moment suddenly something grabs you by your hair and yanks you back, forcing you to open your eyes and cry out at the top of your lungs.

“Uncle Tommy!” You screech and claw your nails in his shoulders as you begin to get pulled out from the backpack.

You snap your eyes up and see the lady from before opening her mouth and leaning down to try and bite you with something weird coming out of her mouth. “Uncle Tommy!” You cry again.

A shot then goes off before in a flash of a second your uncle swings his elbow back to smack the woman in the face, causing her to let go of you and let you slide back inside the backpack. He then walks to her and smashes the end of his gun on her face until she doesn’t move anymore.

“Are you okay?” Your uncle asks and doesn’t waste a second to run out of the store, trapping the skinny boy inside. He then proceeds to run into a dark alley and asks another question. “She didn’t bite you?”

With tears streaming down your cheeks you shake your head. “No,” you say between pants. “No. I’m okay.”

“Good,” he mumbles and slows down to a jog. “Let’s go find your dad and sister.”

Once you’re out of the alley you come across a grass field and immediately hear gunshots echo before there’s screams. You don’t think of it at the moment, you don’t think it’s your dad and sister, you don’t actually see anyone until your uncle climbs down a small hill and shoots someone in a uniform. When that man falls down you then see your dad and Sarah lying on the ground.

“Dad—”

“Oh God,” your uncle cuts you off.

You watch your dad look back before he crawls over to Sarah, while your uncle gets closer. And once he does approach them, you see Sarah laying on the ground, you hear her panting and crying, and hear and watch your dad trying to help her.

“Move your hand, baby. Move your hand.”

You lift your head and see your dad press his hand against the blood that comes out of her.

“Sarah,” you call out softly with growing concern.

Your dad tries to help her up, but she begins to scream in protest, making you whimper.

“I know, baby, I know, I know, I know, I know. I know it hurts.”

She keeps crying and panting, she grabs him, but she doesn’t get up.

“Uncle Tommy,” you whisper. “What’s happening?”

Yet you’re ignored and the air is filled with your dads voice again.

“I know, I know,” your dad keeps repeating himself as he keeps pressing his hands on her body. “I know this hurts. You’re gonna be okay.”

You blink and slowly begin to grasp that she’s hurt. That she’s crying because she’s hurting.

“Sarah,” you whisper quietly and feel your throat tighten as your eyes sting again.

“All right, baby, baby, baby, listen to me. I gotta get you up, okay? I gotta get you up. All right? You come on.” Your dad begins to lift her up and her screams become more intense, and begin to stab at your heart, filling you concern.

“You come on. I know, baby. No, no. I know, I know. I know, I know. I know. I know. Tommy, help me!” Your dad yells and looks back.

“Joel,” your uncle whispers as Sarah then stops moving.

Your dad looks back at Sarah, and he begins to cry. “C’mon baby girl. C’mon, baby girl. I gotta get you up,” you hear your dad say as he cradles your sister in his arms. “Come on. Come on, we’ll get up. C’mon, baby girl. Come on, come—please.”

Your dad then begins to cry louder and it shatters something in you. You don’t fully understand why, but hearing him cry, seeing him hug your older sister, seeing her not move, it shatters your heart.

You know you’re young, you can’t understand most of what’s happening, but you understand that she’s gone.

Yet you don’t try to move. Tears run out of your eyes, but you don’t move. You just watch her with tears streaming down your face and tell yourself that she’s going to wake up again, that she’ll get up again.

Sarah is going to wake up again…

——

*20 YEARS LATER*

The metal is cold against your fingertips, the silence is deafening in your ears, and the breeze is bitter against the only bit of flesh that’s exposed, your fingertips.

The sky above is littered with gray clouds, providing a dull white natural hue, and adding better cover without having the metal of your weapons reflect around the woods.

The bottom of your boots crack a branch that you didn’t catch before, making you stop and glance around just in case anyone pops out from the tall greenery that covers the forest floor. When no one does you keep stalking forward until just ahead the greenery begins to shake.

You let go of the pendant around your neck and reach for your pistol holstered on your hip, but mock a bird's whistle first and wait for a response.

The greenery then stops and you lower your head to wait with your breath held in your chest.

And luckily seconds later there’s a bark, letting you sigh in relief and finally stand to your feet to continue walking ahead.

“Austin,” you call out.

The greenery continues to shake for a moment longer before your black German Shepherd comes out.

“All good?” You ask rhetorically since he can’t really answer.

He tries his best though and turns to lead you ahead in a trot.

“We’ll camp just ahead,” you keep telling your dog. “Then I can take this stupid thing off,” you grumble and pull on the mask around your mouth.

Austin's ears shift but he doesn’t say anything in response, he keeps trotting through the woods. Until he suddenly halts in his tracks and perks his ears up.

Without hesitation you stop too and glance around, yet you don’t see anyone, nothing moves, there's just wind. However, he’s never wrong so you reach for your rifle strap and slide it off your shoulder. You raise it and slowly begin to look up at the branches above, but then a gunshot echoes and Austin falls to ground without a single pained whimper.

You lower your gun and see blood pouring out of your dog's head. “Austin,” you call out in disbelief, and begin to pant as you see his brown eyes rolled up.

“No, no,” you mutter before you clench your jaw and tighten your hold around your rifle and snap your head up to the point above where the gunshot had sounded from.

Nevertheless, just as you catch a figure disguised amongst the leaves and branches a heavy net falls over you and shoves you to the ground, trapping you under the rope beside the corpse of your beloved dog.

“Fuck,” you mutter and flip to your stomach to grab your rifle off the ground, but then a thump lands beside the net and a boot then is pressed on your wrist, disabling your reach.

“Tsk, Tsk,” the person above you clicks their tongue. “You should be more careful next time,” a scratchy manly voice says, making you go rigid. “Look up at the sky a bit.”

The man crouches down and pulls the net off your body to grab a cluster of fabric from your hood.

“Let’s see what hides beneath the hood,” he chuckles.

You scoff and begin to wiggle your fingers to try and reach for your knife hidden under your cloak.

The man proceeds to pull the hood off your head and quickly grabs you by the back of your head to yank your head up so you can see his dirt covered face, and meet his piercing blue-green eyes. Albeit your face is still partially covered by the mask over your mouth so he grows more curious.

“Hm,” he hums and reaches his long pale finger for the mask to pull it off your mouth, relieving your entire face and the gender you tried to hide for your safety now that you’re alone.

“Well, well,” he says with a malicious smirk. “A woman. Look at her Max. All pretty and shit.” He reaches for your chin, but you pull back.

He scoffs, and you feel the handle of your knife under your fingertips, so you quickly grasp it and throw your hand up to stab his neck, but then, the other man you assume is Max whips wire around your wrists and pulls your hand away from the man above you, causing you to drop your knife.

“She’s brave too. Oh doll face,” the man above you says and hits his chest. “You make my heart yearn.” He snickers and grabs you by your elbow to lift you up.

Yet as he does you swing your nails across his face and scratch him down his cheek, making him yelp like a little wimp and step back.

“Mother fucker,” you spat at his face and swing your fist across his face, feeling something his nose crack at impact.

Max tries to pull you back by pulling the wire, but you then reach for your gun holstered at your side, and quickly wrap the wire around your hand to pull him before you shoot his face.

“Fuck you, that’s for killing my dog bastard,” you sneer, and proceed to turn around to face the other man, to try and kill him too. Albeit you end up ducking as he shoots his pistol.

The bullet hits the tree behind you, luckily, so you then choose to break into a sprint, leaving your rifle behind for now; just until you get rid of this man.

You actually make it a few paces ahead, yet your luck ends at the moment you pass a wide tree surrounded by bushes because someone comes out from your left side and tackles you down to the ground, making you drop your gun.

“Oof,” you breathe out and feel a dull pain radiate on your side.

You quickly slap your hand on the dirt and try to push yourself up, but then a large hand grabs you by your arm and flips you to your back.

It’s another man, this is one plumper than others, but he’s still dirty and nasty. This one pins your wired hand back over your head before grabbing your other hand to do the same and then wrap the wire around both hands.

You try to keep squirming, you try to kick your feet, but then the man crouches down and keeps you from moving, forcing you to see his older and much rounder face.

“So much trouble,” he mutters in a low gravelly voice. “We were gonna take you to our camp, have some of the others have fun, but you’re trouble, we’ll take you here…” he trails off and reaches down for your pendants.

“Get your fucking dirty fingers off me!” You snap, but he pulls a pendant up regardless.

“A firefly,” he reveals as he sees the insignia engraved on one side. “What a surprise you’re all alone, you're all usually traveling in packs.” He scoffs and turns it around to read the name. “Tommy…Miller,” he scoffs and drifts his eyes to you. “Can’t be right. You’re too pretty to be a Tommy.” He winks and lets that pendant go to grab the other one.

You scrunch your nose in disgust, and slowly proceed to drag your leg back to try and knee his ass. But all of sudden something sharp stabs your leg, making you groan in pain.

“I have had enough of your tactics,” the same scratchy voice from a moment ago snaps before he shows his face above the older man’s head. “Go on Mike, show her how to behave.”

The older man snickers and lets your pendant go before he can read your name, and instead reaches for your cloak to rip it off your body.

“No,” you grunt and try to swing your body from side to side, but the man just grips onto your chin and shoves your head down.

“Behave!” He bellows, spitting drops of saliva on your face.

You close your eyes and groan in disgust, but don’t stop fidgeting. He then proceeds to lower his hand down your body to unhook your holster belt from your hip.

“No, please,” you plead, feeling your heart pound in your chest and your head begin to spin with fear.

Yet, to no avail, the man then reaches for your pants.

Albeit just before he can do anything else a gunshot echoes and the man behind the older man drops, causing the older man to let you go and snap his head back. He parts his lips to speak, but before he can utter anything another gunshot goes off and hits him through the head, spilling drops of blood over your face, and making his body begin to fall back.

You catch his movement, and quickly out of adrenaline use the other man’s corpse to push yourself back and get out of the older man’s way before he can fall on you.

“Fuck, fuck,” you say between pants, and even if you’re in pain, terrified, and still shaken with disbelief, you flip around to quickly get on your knees and reach for your pistol thrown on the ground.

“Jace get the wire,” you hear someone say behind you.

You ignore the pounding pain from your leg and crawl forward until a tall young man who seems to be around your age, with a shaved head and a shaved goatee, and who reminds you of your friend from Jackson, gets in front of you.

He’s not dirty though like the other three, he’s not clean either, but he isn’t using camouflage like the others. And he doesn’t have his gun out.

Still you can never be sure with people. They’re worse than infected because at least their actions are predecible, people’s aren't.

“You touch me and I’ll put a bullet through your eyes,” you sneer and point at his hand.

“Whoa, whoa, girl,” the guy, Jace says and raises his hands. “I just want to help. We just saved you!” He exclaims with panic.

You scoff. “So what? Want me to get on my…” you trail off as you catch what you’re going to say and just keep pointing.

“Hey,” the other voice cuts in as you hear his footsteps approach from your side. “We’re not going to hurt you.”

You keep your gun on Jace, but snap your eyes to the side, seeing a man a bit shorter than Jace. His skin is dark, and his eyes even darker. He has a better shaped mustache and goatee than his friend, but shorter shaped eyebrows than his friend. He also…has a nicer face, he’s cute, and more musclery built.

“I’m Henry,” he introduces and points at his chest with one hand whilst he raises the other to show he means no harm. “That’s Jace, my friend.” He points to the other guy, but you don’t bother looking at Jace anymore, you hold Henry’s gaze, as he holds yours, and swallows thickly too.

“Those guys,” he points to the man dead on the ground, “are hunters from the city. We have a camp nearby, we mean no harm. We’re just trying to survive like you. Let us help you.”

You hesitate and keep your eyes on him, finding yourself being able to trust him with his words alone. After all you’ve seen the eyes of evil men, he doesn’t have that look at all.

“Fine,” you mutter and lower the gun to let them drop their guard and their hands. “But if you turn out to be some kinda gang I’ll shoot you first.”

Henry scoffs softly, “fair.” He then begins to approach you, and you let him.

However, before you can meet his gaze as he crouches down in front of you to help you with the wire around your wrists, you look at Jace. “I’m sorry,” you tell him with sincerity.

Jace parts his lips in surprise and lets out a small huff before he retorts, “it’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

You hum and drift your eyes back to Henry to finally give him your name. “I’m Y/N.”

Henry lifts his eyes from the wire and pulls the corner of his lips to a faint smile. “Firefly, huh?” He refers to the pendants hanging from your silver chain necklace around your neck. “We’ve been trying to look for them.”

You scoff and lower your gaze to watch him unwrap the wire. “I used to be one. A long time ago though, sorry to disappoint.”

Henry shrugs. “Don’t worry about it, we’ll keep looking.”

You hum and lift your gaze at the same time he does, you part your lips to say something, but you then catch the sound of additional footsteps approaching and quickly look over, catching a little boy that has Henry's complexion, and red paint over his eyes.

They are telling the truth then. They really mean no harm. If they truly did they wouldn't be carrying that little boy with them.

“That’s my brother,” Henry says. “Sam.”

You offer the boy a gentle smile, but he just looks at you up and down before he gets closer to Henry.

“And, it’s off,” Henry assures you as he finally frees your hands from that sharp wire that was cutting your skin.

You sigh in relief and rub your wrists for a second before you fall back on your ass to get a better view of the wound on your leg. “Fuck,” you murmur and lean forward to pull your pant leg up. “Fuck.”

“We have some stuff at camp, you can patch yourself up there.” Henry interjects.

“I have stuff in my backpack,” you counter stubbornly and drop your pant leg to twist around and look at the dead men.

“Well regardless, you can patch yourself up at camp, we need to go, it's going to get dark soon.” Henry adds.

The stupid man you punched has your rifle, fucker. You push yourself to your feet, but it hurts too much to add much more weight now that the adrenaline isn’t pumping in your blood.

“Here,” you hear Henry say before you feel his hand wrap around your arm. “Come on, get up,” he whispers as he helps you to your feet. “You’re okay, you can walk.”

You grunt as the pain pounds harder, and quickly grab his wrist to keep yourself from falling.

“You’re okay,” he assures you again and finally gets you to stand. “There you go.”

You huff out in frustration to your own wound, but you can’t find yourself to be cold, so as you keep your hand on his wrist for…support (not because he’s warm), you drift your eyes to the side, glancing first at his hand around your arm before looking up to meet his gaze.

“Thank you,” you tell him softly.

He holds your gaze and hums as a response.

You let your gazes and touch linger, ignoring the curious stare from his friend Jace.

And after a moment you finally pull away first and immediately limp towards the man with your rifle to yank it off his body. “Fucker,” you grimace before you spit on his face. You then grab your holster belt off the ground and hook back it on your hip, before picking up your cloak off the ground that is now ripped. Great.

Whatever, it can still work.

You throw it over your shoulder and turn to face the direction you had come from.

“Gimme a minute,” you tell the guys and don’t wait for them to say anything before you limp towards Austin.

“Hey, it’s not really safe out there!” You hear Jace shout.

You nod. “Yep!” You yell back. “But you’re gonna help me right?!” You retort.

“I..I guess?!”

You scoff in amusement and notice that they keep their distance, but don’t leave, they just keep their distance and respect what you want.

Once you reach your dog your eyes well with tears, and you fall on your knees by his body.

“I’m sorry,” you tell him as you reach your hand over to close his eyes. “I’m sorry I couldn't get you home. You were good though,” you whisper and slowly caress his side like he liked. “You were a good boy till the end.”

You press your head down against him and muster a wobbly smile. “Ima go home soon, okay? I promise. Rest easy buddy.” You press a kiss on his head and slide your hand over to his neck to untie his orange bandana from his neck and wrap it around your wrist.

——

*LATER*

“So new girl…” a young girl that’s a part of the group says. “Tell us where are you from? I can’t place your accent.”

You look up from the fire burning away the logs and meet her blue gaze.

“Austin Texas,” you reveal. After all, the group you were brought to has been nice so far. And most of them are young, except for the little boy, Sam. There are some older people amongst them, but as Jace helped you patch your leg up he said that most of the adults left when the military left too, leaving behind those they thought wouldn’t survive by themselves.

“Of course that was my home before the outbreak, I’m now from Wyoming, a small town called Jackson.”

You’re hesitant to tell them about your community, about all you have back home. No matter how nice they are you still can’t bring yourself to fully trust them. It’s just a survival instinct.

Then again Jackson is still far, most of them won’t survive the journey. Actually maybe none of them…maybe not even you will.

“A camp?” Jace probes.

You drop your gaze from the girl with red blazing hair that actually called herself Blaze, and hesitate a moment before you nod slowly. “Something like that,” you avoid telling the truth.

If there was one thing you liked about what Joel taught you, it was this, be cautious with strangers. Albeit you also won’t be cold to them forever like he was with people, with time as your leg heals up you’ll watch them, and if they’re actually good enough to these new world standards, then you’ll take after your uncle Tommy and be nice.

“What are you doing all the way out here then?” Henry cuts in, causing you to lift your eyes to look at him across the campfire, and catching him using his hand to also….talk.

“If you’re all the way from Wyoming what are you doing here in Kansas City?” He asks and keeps moving his hands like he was communicating in sign language, like, from the books you’ve read about it.

You scoff and shrug. “I felt…rebellious I suppose,” you begin to smirk. “I wanted to see the country, I saw it, and now I’m on my way back home.”

“Must be nice…” you identify Blaze interjecting. Yet before you can look over at her, you drift your eyes and notice Sam paying close attention to what Henry was signing—actually now that you think about it he hasn't been talking whatsoever.

He probably can’t.

“…having a place to call home, and to go back too.”

“Yeah man,” Jace bounces off Blaze’s comment, pulling your eyes to him sitting beside you. “I don't know why you’d leave.”

Besides, what you just told them, there were also…other reasons, but you won’t share those with them.

You sigh and smile softly at the ground. “I’ll tell you what I told my uncle and my mama Maria…I don’t know when I’m going to die…it might be tomorrow, next week or years from now, it will happen though, and I don’t just want to know these walls, I need to live for myself, not be protected all the time…I want to see the ugly and the beautiful, know it before I die.”

You look up as you finish speaking and the first gaze you catch is Henry’s. The fire reflects the softness in his eyes, yet you catch the admiration he has for your words, you can’t read that.

“Well shit,” a older Asian man says. “When you put it that way.”

You briefly glance at the man and scoff softly.

“No fireflies for you then?” Jace asks.

You shake your head. “Nope. I’ve been away from home for far too long. My family is waiting,” you sigh.

Fuck.

“My camp is pretty big,” you begin to say regardless of your previous caution. “It’s strong, y’all can come with me if y’all want.” You look at the six people gathered around the campfire and continue. “I know we can take y’all in. There’s more kids,” you mention and look at Sam and Henry. “Food. Power…”

The people around shift in their seats at the sound of your comment, and their eyes widen.

“It’s far from here, but together we’ll be strong,” you finish. “Think about it. Once my leg is all healed I’m leavin’.” You glance around the group again, and now neither of them say anything, there are hopeful looks. It's especially noticeable in Sam's eyes, but they all ponder your invitation.

Then again it is a big risk.

However, it’s the thinking they fall into that leaves the group silent and kinda awkward. Thankfully Blaze breaks it once she can’t take it.

“It’s almost lights out, why don’t we finish with a story?” She looks around, but no one volunteers.

Now you are pretty tired, but this, telling stories is your thing.

“I can go,” you offer and sit up with a growing smile. “Now, I don’t like to toot my own horn…”

You do.

“…but I do produce and act in my own plays back at home, so.” You grin. “I’ll go.”

You clear your own throat and look around at all the faces once before starting. “It is about home, so if you are thinking of comin’ with me, think hard,” you say dramatically. “There’s stories of something, shadows and creepy crawlers that people call Skinwalkers that lurk in the woods. I never believed it, but once when I was out on patrol with my uncle at night, as I was looking through my scope I saw the trees move.” You lick your lips and lower your voice.

“I zoomed in, but nothin’, no infected, no person, just nothin’. I told my uncle, but when he looked nothin’. Thinkin’ it was just my own mind I kept patrolling…until suddenly right. By. My ear there’s a whisper…y/n,” you whisper and lean your face closer to the fire. “I called out, thinkin’ it was my uncle Tommy, but he looks at me like I was crazy and says, I didn’t call you,” you mock his voice.

“I didn't believe him, he likes to play jokes with me,” you continue in your voice and look around at all the amused faces. “Yet I didn’t say anything back, I shrugged it off and kept doing my job. It was quiet for a few seconds, but that’s when I felt a chill crawling up my neck. It was summer, it was warm at night, so it wasn’t because I was cold, it was somethin’ else, somethin’ blowing on my neck. I look back,” you say and act it out. “Nothin’. I look ahead and there in the woods are red eyes staring right back at me.” You scoff and swallow thickly, pretending to be frightened yourself.

“I grab my rifle and look through the scope but nothin’, it’s clear. At this point,” you say and shake your head. “I get close to my uncle, but I don’t tell him anything. I keep lookin’, and as I lower that scope there they are again, bright, blazing red eyes, closer now. And again…y/n—I shake my head, close my eyes, rub em’, and when I open them they’re closer, that chill wraps my entire body now.”

Jace beside you swallows thickly from fear, while Blaze looks unaffected, but you can see her fear make her go rigid. The older people don’t seem bothered but they are entertained, and Henry seems unfazed, Sam however, looks invested.

All their reactions make you happy.

“….I quickly look through my scope, I need to check it out, make sure I’m not goin’ crazy, but I hear my name again, by my ear, a whisper, the voice of my sister who’s been gone a long time….” You swallow thickly and shed a fake tear. “I begin to shake, I want to turn to my uncle, but all I can do is tremble, I can’t move my head. I can’t speak. My gun falls….and there…right in front of me is…is…” you prolong the end as they’re all holding their breaths, and grab a pinch of gunpowder from your pocket to throw it to the fire.

“Nothin’!” You exclaim as the fire sparks and the flames jump up, making some people gasp and others laugh nervously. They all jumped though, you saw it.

Yet when you look ahead, there’s a smile from Sam. Even if he jumped too, he grins.

Henry notices his brother's gesture and scoffs in disbelief before he looks back at you and meets your gaze with a soft smile, and that same soft gaze.

“Don’t worry,” you say and then meet Sam's gaze with an assuring smile. “It’s not real. I’m scared shitless of night patrols so I avoid them,” you chuckle. “So please do consider coming with me. If my uncle hears I spooked y’all away, I’ll get scolded for sure.” You sit back and pat Jace’s shoulder as he tries to catch his breath.

“That was a good one,” he mutters nervously.

You look over at him and smile brightly. “Why thank you. I love to hear that.”

“Okay, well thank you,” an older woman interjects. “I for one loved that shift in the atmosphere you brought darling. We needed it.”

You offer her a soft smile and bow your head as a thank you.

“Now it’s light out, Henry, you have night shift today,” the lady continues. “Sam can stay with me. I'll keep an eye out on him tonight.”

Henry gets up and nods in agreement. He then turns to say something to his brother, and Sam seems to look hesitant, but he gives in and stays as Henry begins to walk away.

“Henry!” Jace calls out and shoots up.

Said man stops and peers back to wait for what his friend was going to say.

“Why don’t you take the new girl.” Jace suggests.

What?

You look around in confusion.

“Show her how things are done,” Jace continues and grabs your arm to force you up to your feet, adding a sharp pain to your leg where your wound is. “Y’know so she can pull her own weight until she leaves.”

You sigh, but catch Henry glance at you before he directs you his next word. “Only if you want. You’re hurt, you can rest.”

It’s a new place, surrounded by strangers, you’ll go in your tent but you won’t sleep, so…fuck it. Besides your mind and heart are pushing you to accept.

“Fuck it,” you respond and pull away from Jace. “I’ll go with you. I won’t sleep anyway.”

You peek over at Jace and catch him smirking. He then notices your stare and just offers you a simple tightlipped smile. If you didn’t know better, you might say he’s up to something…

Hm.

You grab your rifle and backpack from the ground and catch up to Henry as he waits for you where he stopped.

“It isn’t far,” he mutters and puts his hands in his pockets as he continues walking with you at his side. “And there are definitely no skinwalkers, so you don’t have to worry.”

You chuckle and nod softly. “‘Kay,” you say and play along. “Thats a fuckin’ relief.”

Henry scoffs softly and briefly glances at you from the corner of his eyes as you take this time, this short silence to then admire the starry sky.

“So,” you interject in the silence and blink to look at Henry. “Tell me, why stay here? In Kansas City, and so close to those hunters too.”

Henry sighs deeply and shrugs, “we’ve been waiting. It’s not so simple with infected, people. Besides, it's not easy finding fireflies.”

You scoff and nod in agreement. “I’ve heard the groups are becoming less and less now. But,” you utter with hope. “You and Sam are welcome to come with me, I have everything mapped out, it isn’t far anymore, we’ll make it there quickly, and with luck we’ll make it there safely.”

Henry hums and makes a soft left turn towards a run down treehouse. “Up here,” he points.

As you approach the steps nailed to the tree you stop and put your hands on your hips as you slowly look up in pain.

“I can give you a boost,” Henry offers. “You shouldn’t put weight on your leg.”

You let out a small sigh and blink to meet his gaze. “I can do it,” you assure him stubbornly, and filled with pride. “Just hold this,” you say and slide your rifle off your shoulder to hand it to him.

Henry takes it and just as he was going to try and argue against you, you rub your hands together first and then grab onto the new slabs of wood that don't match the tree house whatsoever. You then lift your uninjured leg and let the other one just dangle as you strain to push yourself up. Henry folds his arms over his chest and watches you struggle after refusing his help.

“How are you doing?” He asks.

You nod and silence your pained groan. And finally after a few more seconds manage to slap your hands on the floor, and use all your upper strength to pull yourself up. It hurts, it hurts like a bitch, but you get on and turn to look down at Henry with a smile.

“Made it.” You let him know and wink at him, catching him scoff in annoyance before he begins to climbs on, causing you to crawl back to look out the carved window. That’s when you ignore your pain, as you see the blades of grass flowing by the chilly breeze, when you see the glimmer of the moon's light reflect on those green blades. That’s when you just take a moment to enjoy the song of the crickets below.

If you weren’t out here looking out for infected, and people, you’d say it was blissfully peaceful. But you can’t say so.

“I always wanted a treehouse,” you share when you hear Henry climb inside. “My daddy was building me one actually. He and my uncle would build it on their days off, but then,” you sigh sadly. “It happened and I never got it.”

“I had one,” Henry deadpans as he sits next to you.

You roll your eyes to the side, and catch his smirk. “Lucky,” you remark. “What else did you have?”

He begins to smirk and places your rifle down against the window. “A nintendo. It was red, gorgeous. Got it for my 5th birthday. I had that sucker for a few weeks and then bam, had to leave it behind.”

“Sucks,” you whisper. “My sister wanted one too. She never got though, my daddy said she had no use for that kinda stuff.” You scoff and smile softly. “He probably would’ve gotten it for her though, he was a sucker.”

Henry nods slowly and averts his gaze to watch the field ahead. “Was? Is…your dad gone?”

You shrug. “I don’t know,” you mutter. “Last time I heard of him was two years ago before I left. I haven’t heard a thing since. Knowing how he is though, he’s probably still out there, livin’.”

“Sister?” Henry asks.

Perhaps before, years ago, speaking about Sarah would’ve hurt, it would make you sob, but now…as a 24 year old, her death doesn’t tear you down as it once did. Her death does ache you, you’ll always miss your sister, you eagerly wait to see her again one day, but speaking her name, sharing memories doesn’t hurt as badly anymore.

“She passed a long time ago,” you share and drag your uninjured leg up to your chest to rest your chin on your knee. “The day of the outbreak.”

Henry swallows thickly and mumbles, “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine losing a sibling. I can’t imagine losing Sam. I’m sorry.”

You drift your eyes over to him and offer him an assuring smile. “It happened a long time ago, I’ve moved on. Sometimes I’m grateful she didn't get to know this new world,” you continue and look up at the white shining moon. “But when I miss her, when I really miss her, I wish she had lived just to be with me. So I admire you Henry…”

Said man snaps his eyes over to you, and you catch his eyes squint slightly in confusion.

“I know I haven’t known you long,” you continue. “But I admire you for looking out for your little brother.” You begin to smile, and catch his look of disbelief. “I’m the youngest sibling too, so trust me that little boy looks up to you. You treat him well.”

Henry scoffs and nods softly. “I always will. Sam is all I have in this world,” he shares quietly. “I can’t lose him.”

You let out a small breath and leave it at that.

The silence that follows is short, not awkward, it is tension filled but not awkward. He uses the silence to look out for danger, and you use it to think about Joel.

It’s been a long time since you’ve heard about him, but it’s been even longer since you’ve actually seen him. Too long perhaps…

God you should have visited him when you passed Boston….

Sarah would be so mad that it’s been years.

At least you like to think she’d be upset, the sad truth is you hardly knew how your sister really was, all you know was what she showed you; caring, sweet, funny, smart, pretty. Perhaps she’d be mad at him too, perhaps not….You’d never know….

“So, tell me now,” Henry cuts you off from your train of thought. “What do you have in your town?”

You draw in a deep breath and focus on the field. “A lot,” you breathe out. “We have schools, good schools, not those crap military schools. We have…uh,” you begin to smile. “Bars, shops, horses, hot water, chickens and a greenhouse. We have movie nights, and parties,” you grin and lift your head off your knee to turn around and face him. “And of course my plays, which I produce and write myself, it’s always a full house,” you show off with a smug smirk. “And a lot of people our age…I mean,” you stammer and squint your eyes on him. “How old are you?”

Henry meets your gaze and answers without hesitation, “25. What about you?”

You smile. “24. So,” you continue sharing stuff about Jackson. “There’s people our age. Boys, girls,” you wiggle your eyebrows, making him smile and scoff in amusement. “Whatever you're into. We got our own houses,” you grin. “I mean I got my own house. With my guitars, my clothes, which I do miss,” you grin. “And music, I got a record player, cassettes. So you got that to look forward to, your own house. For you,” you say softly now. “And for Sam.”

Henry lowers his gaze and his smile fades. “It’s tempting, it sounds like…heaven almost.”

“I wouldn’t call if that,” you interject and keep your eyes on him.

“Still,” he continues. “It’s tempting. I mean a school for my brother, other kids he can actually be friends with instead of just talking to me,” he scoffs softly. “A place of our own. A community…girls,” he teases and meets your gaze.

You roll your eyes, but can’t help your faint smile from tugging on your lips.

“You don’t have to decide now,” you assure him. “Think about it.”

“No,” he shakes his head. “I want to go. It’s better than taking ourselves to the fireflies, I mean we’ll always be moving with them, at least with you,” he says and holds your gaze with a soft look that makes your heart begin to beat faster. “We can sort of have something stable, even if it’s just for a little while….let me just see the others off and I’ll go with you. That is…if you’ll wait for me?”

You offer him a soft smile and nod softly. “I would,” you mutter softly.

Henry mirrors your smile, and for a moment, for a moment that seemed to go on for eternity, it was just him and you under the moonlight's hue, in the silence of the night, two beating hearts, two pairs of desire-filled gazes.

Your uncle Tommy found someone, why can’t you? Why shouldn’t you?

You deserve some taste of bliss.

“So,” you break the tension and slide your backpack off your shoulders. “You wanna listen to some of my music or what. I got some sick tunes.” You snicker at yourself and unzip your backpack to pull out a Walkman littered with stupid stickers, and black earphones. “We’ll listen to it low so we don’t miss anything,” you assure him and show off your things to Henry.

“But if it is bad,” he says and grabs an earphone to put it in his ear. “I will make fun of you.”

“Trust me,” you say confidently. “You won’t. But do keep in mind I had to leave a lot of my cassettes behind.” You press play and the first song that plays is ‘Time After Time’ by Cyndi Lauper.

Once she begins to sing, Henry immediately stifles his laugh.

“What?” You quip. “You don’t like it? I think it’s great,” you trail off and listen to the song with a smile, as soon as the chorus begins to play though, you snap your head to the side and begin mouthing along to the words.

Henry snorts and shakes his head. “You truly are something,” he comments. “How do you do It?”

You roll your head to his side and just answer bluntly. “I choose not to live a boring life.” You scoff in amusement and lick your lips to answer more seriously. “This outbreak took so much already, I can’t let it take me. Who I am.” You meet his gaze and sigh. “That’s all I have.”

Henry smiles softly and nods. “I admire you then. For that.”

You scoff and roll your head to the other side to hide how flustered you are.

You then sit in silence to listen to the song. When the next song plays however, it’s a song called by Outkast, Henry is going to comment on it, but before he can, you both hear footsteps approaching, and stiffen.

It’s coming from inside the perimeter, so you don’t quickly pull your rifle to you, but you do reach for your holstered blade, whilst Henry takes his earphone off and stands up to peek down the entrance of the treehouse.

You grab the edge of the window to pull yourself, but just as you were trying, Henry’s shoulders fall and he quickly throws you a comment, “it’s okay, it’s just Sam.”

Since you can’t move that much you just sit back down and put a pause on your music.

Once the little boy climbs in, his eyes find you, but he quickly looks back at his brother as he begins to sign to him.

“What are you doing up here?” Henry asks out loud as he communicates with his hands.

The little boy lets out a small breath and responds back, causing Henry to translate.

“Miss Daphne was snoring already. It’s early I wanted to come keep you company.”

You scoff softly at the response, finding it sweet.

“I have company,” Henry responds and then points at you before he signs letters—he signs your name, you know that much. “Y/N. You should be sleeping.”

The boy shrugs, and responds.

“Later,” Henry translates before he sighs and gives in to what the boy wants.

“You are very welcome to join us and stare at nothing, Sam,” you say and look at him, seeing Henry translate for you.

Sam's eyes drift to you, and you recognize the thank you sign he gives you. He then goes and sits at Henry’s other side as Henry takes his seat again.

“So,” you add. “If I wanted to get his attention, how would I do that?” You ask Henry.

“Tap his shoulder,” he shares and translates what he says since Sam is watching. “He can read lips, so just make sure to talk slowly and face him when you want to talk to him….thank you for asking.”

“Of course,” you nod.

Sam then begins to sign something as he meets your gaze. And once he’s done Henry translates.

“He’s curious to know how you’re brave to travel alone.”

You scoff softly and correct him. “I wasn’t alone,” you say sa you face Sam, while Henry translates. “I had friends, and my dog, Austin. But…” you sigh sadly. “They’re gone now.”

“Still,” you hear Henry say for Sam. “You were alone, I don’t think I could be that brave.”

You offer the boy an assuring smile and share your truth. “I was scared. I am scared, but you know what keeps me brave?” You ask rhetorically. “When I feel lost, when I feel scared, I look for hope. I look for the light. Because that’s all we have, if we’re not brave, hopeful, we lose, and we’re not losers, are we?”

Sam smiles and shakes his head.

“Good,” you tell him and briefly meet Henry’s gaze.

However, you then get an idea and jerk up.

“But,” you add. “You know what also helps…” you trail off and take off your chain necklace to carefully pull out your Uncle Tommy’s pendants and leave one of yours hanging from it.

“This,” you continue. “And drag yourself a bit closer to both boys. “This is my firefly pendant, when I feel scared, I hold my uncle's pendant and it helps. So whenever you feel scared, just hold it in your hands, okay?” You push the chain necklace towards Sam, but he first looks to his brother for reassurance to check if it’s okay.

And Henry first looks at you. “Are you sure?” He asks.

You nod. “I’m sure,” assure them. “I have another one. And I have my uncles with me, that’s all I need.”

Sam looks at the pendant and carefully takes the chain from your hand. He admires the firefly emblem for a second before he smiles and puts it around his neck. He then looks back up at you and grins as he once again gives you his thanks.

This time however he adds a comment. “I like you,” Henry translates.

You shoot him a smile and shrug smugly. “Thank you, you boost my ego.” You giggle and catch Henry’s gaze on you, it glimmers under the moonlight, and his smile softens before he mouths to you.

“Thank you.”

You offer him a sweet smile before you look out as the room falls silent again.

And as you watch the grass flow, as you sit under the moonlight and glance at the stars, Henry watches you for a lingering moment with a longing gaze before he pulls his jacket off and puts it on your shoulders.

You get surprised by the weight, but feel your heart flutter when you realize what he did.

“You’ll get cold,” he whispers.

You have a jacket and a warm poncho packed, but he’s being sweet, plus you like his gesture; it’s like something you’ve seen done in movies—And you like seeing his smile when you don’t turn down his gesture.

You deserve a taste of bliss. Someone to call your own, like how your uncle Tommy has Maria.

You deserve it and nothing can get in the way of it. Of what you’re feeling for him. What you want to happen. Nothing.

.

.

.

.

A/N- Before you ask yes Joel still has the drawing y/n drew him….AND one more thing…how do you think she’ll react when she sees her dad after years and sees Ellie with him?

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u

#fanfiction #damn-stark #tragedy at the millers #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #tlou #tlou fanfiction #joel miller x daughter!reader #Joel miller #Joel tlou #joel miller fanfiction #Joel fanfiction #Sarah tlou #sarah miller #Tommy miller #Tommy tlou #henry tlou x fem!reader #Henry x fem!reader #Henry tlou #Sam tlou #Sam #chapter 1 #tlou x reader #Ellie tlou #angst #daughter reader

[vyxated]

Hi! I have a question do you know if there a way to get vfx trains from San myshuno to work in any lot or world ? Not functional but showing up if you place like train tracks or rabbit hole train station sorry for the bad English

Hi! Well I think there's 2 ways to do it: one is to link an object with a VFX (i.e. a train track obj with added train vfx). I think BakieGaming did a lot of his animated ccs this way, tho I haven't checked the exact details.

Two is by extracting the mesh and make them into a buy mode item which you can place anywhere.

Both are static in place, and while there are some that're animated, they're located pretty far away from the spawn point that idk if it's usable XD you kind of need to do some make believe with the static objs, or figure out how to move the animated ones closer to the obj it's spawning from.

Regardless, here's a tutorial for the 2nd method since it's how I first interpreted the question haha

How to Extract VFX Meshes w/ VFX Tool

Will be going over how to find their mesh instance id w/ the VFX tool, find it in Sims 4 Studio, extract those meshes & textures, and have them buyable in-game.

Tools needed: Sims 4 Studio, VFX Tool by denton47, and Studio Effect Player mod by andrew (in-game)

All credit to denton47 for the info on how to find the mesh, I'm just relaying the info that I found there :D

VFX Tool - find mesh's instances

Install the VFX tool. Once done, select Main (1), then select Effect List (2) to get the list of all available vfx for easy viewing. This will allow you to look through the dropdown to find the VFX you need.

Search for the VFX you want to extract the mesh from by going over the list and use the Studio Effect Player mod to try out different keywords and see what object it's associated with (Select Effect, then paste the vfx name).

For the San Myshuno trains in particular, they are labelled as "commuter_train" and has several variations. Ones that standout/has unique variation are: commuter_train_car : on the middle w/ a middle carriage mesh spice_commuter_train_car : on the front, mesh is the same as above but w/ dirty texture uptown_commuter_train_locomotive : on the back, front/back carriage spice_commuter_train_car_locomotive : not pictured, contains 2 different meshes (front & middle/back carriage)

Once you found the VFX you need, go to Edit (1), then select Edit (2) on the first ParticleEffect. On the new window, search for the IID/instance id (3), and copy that number on notepad. Do the same for the other VFXs listed above.

The ParticleEffect points to either a mesh or texture. The first 1 or 2 usually has the IID to the mesh while the others have IID of additional textures (e.g. headlights), which you can skip over. Here are their IID: commuter_train_car : 053F60264213178F uptown_commuter_train_locomotive : 122458A81FD85174 spice_commuter_train_car : 4F02D6E9EBE47B71 spice_commuter_train_locomotive : 973B164B6BE4933A & 562FA1E2D1E29690

S4S - find models & textures with Game File Cruiser

Open S4S > Game File Cruiser, and search for one of the IID above (will be using the commuter IID).

You'll notice that there's no texture. What you can do is to go to Model (1) > Edit Items on Lods (2) > Edit Items on Meshes (3) > scroll down to Edit Items on Material (4) > and select & copy the DiffuseMap IID (5), which is 6530221312A7B322.

Search for the new IID in games file cruiser. This IID in particular has its own mesh and seems to have more Material information when you inspect it. So, in addition to the IIDs we found from the VFX tool, we'll also add this new mesh & resources into the package file later on.

If you plan on editing these textures, save the instance numbers of LightMapTex, NormalMap, and SpecMap onto a list, and export each of them using GFC.

Go back and keep the main GFC window open for now.

Before you continue: take note of how many Materials / mesh groups there is on the object. Since this has 1, you'll need to clone an object with 1 mesh group too.

S4S - extracting mesh & making object override

Just for info, by editing the file to make it possible to extract the mesh, you'll be making this file into a buyable object that will also override EA's meshes & textures (if you choose to replace them), though you can add custom swatches that won't affect the EA obj.

Create a 3D Mesh item. Since this object only has one mesh group, search for an object with the same amount. Back in the GFC window, select all resources and add them to the current package.

With the 6530221312A7B322 IID copied, select Object Definition > Model > paste in the instance box.

Also paste it for the Footprint resource and change the Group number to 00000000 to make sure it's linked to the right resource.

Then, select CutoutInfoTable > Entries > scroll down until you find ModelID and paste the IID you've copied.

Save, reload package file, and now you can extract the mesh and textures!

Note that if you update the mesh/texture, it will also override the VFX object that goes around in San Myshuno.

Repeat the process for the other mesh variants on new package files. If you simply want to have them be buyable, getting 2 different models is fine, but if it's a texture override, then it's worth getting all the models instead.

Last note, this train object has the LargeObject shader and that seems to prevent it from lighting up at night, so you'd want to change that to Phong instead.

In-game preview:

If you want your object to have proper LODs, it'll probably be easier to clone a 3D mesh that already has that and import the train mesh you've just extracted into the cloned package file.

The train tracks are probably accessible if you look for debug/live edit objects in buy mode.

#ask #vyx.resources #tutorial #sims 4 studio #ouhh ended up being longer than I thought #ts4 tutorial

[bluedandelion1]

Wukong cares about people. Macaque isn't a saint.

Alright, I've wanted to write this for a while, so here I go. English isn't my first language, so sorry for any typos.

I've been watching so many fananimations of LEGO Monkie Kid. They're all gorgeous, top of the top, excellent, chef kiss and I'm glad the fandom seems to be growing every day.

But I HATE how so many people have portrayed Wukong as an asshole who doesn't care about anyone. Love the animations, they're great but I don't think Wukong is the villain people make him out to be.

Now don't get me wrong, Wukong has made many, many, many, mistakes throughout his life. The thing is, people don't seem to realize that while he messed up, his intentions were good! "Yeah, right, then how is he such a bad mentor?" I'm gonna shut you up right there.

When MK first got the staff, he didn't know how to use it, I agree with you. But Wukong is a milennia old stone monkey who has gone through a lot on his life, getting stronger and stronger with each fight.

"Pfft, what about DBK? You can handle it! Consider it a trial"

That's what he tells MK when said boy asks him what to do with DBK, because for Wukong that fight is easy. He then reassures him that with enough confidence in himself he could take him on. He trusted MK since the first moment and even told him to consider it as a trial. He was evaluating MK during his fight to make sure he had picked the right successor.

And just in case and most probably noticing how nervous he was on his first fight, he kept an eye out on him to make sure to intervene in case MK needed help. Wukong already knew that MK was invincible before locking away some of his powers in the second episode, therefore he was confident that he would succeed. And even if he already knew he was going to defeat DBK, he still watched over him to make sure he wouldn't get hurt.

Following this battle, in the first episode "Bad Weather", MK doesn't call for Wukong's help. He's confronting Red Son when suddenly the staff acts on its own and takes him down to the ground and who appears afterwards? The Monkey King himself! Almost as if he had sensed that MK needed some help with defeating Red Son. Almost as if he had been the one to call for the staff so he could talk with his student. Again, he showed up on his own because he cares.

"Then what about that time he abandoned him?"

He didn't abandon him. To abandon someone is to stop supporting them, to give up completely in someone. Monkey King knew that LBD was coming back but he didn't want either MK or his friends to get hurt.

He's used to doing things on his own! I mean, on JTTW Wukong was always sent ahead to see if there were any demons that would kidnap Tripitaka. And even though he warned his companions numerous times that there were demons under the disguise of innocent people, they wouldn't believe him. So why should he tell MK and his friends that there's an enemy approaching? Every time he had warned other people of other threats, they had never believed him, so why should MK be any different?

I think that's one of the reasons why he didn't even try to defend himself when Pigsy snapped at him. Because he's used to taking the blame. What's the point in trying to do something right if you're going to be blamed for everything going wrong, regardless of how much you try to make it okay? He even tries to keep helping MK through his training with the astral projection throughout the whole season!

So, he searched for the map that would lead him to the rings of the Samadhi Fire, knowing full well that he could end up dying.

"This wasn't supposed to happen! I thought if I could somehow get the Samadhi Fire out of you, without hurting you of course, then I could put it inside myself. Then, I don't know, use it to burn up the Lady Bone Demon or something?"

Let's remember that while it's difficult to hurt Wukong, the Samadhi Fire is one of the powers that could actually kill him. He was willing to risk his life so he'd be able to save not only the whole world, but his friends as well. Do you realize how crazy that sounds? To be willing to give up his own life to save the Earth?

He even says that he wanted try to get the ring out of Mei without hurting her.

Would someone who didn't care about anyone try to make something as painless as possible for the victim? I don't think so.

Alright, let's focus on Macaque now for a bit.

My biggest beef with this guy is that some people seem to paint him as the misunderstood character who never did anything wrong because "Oh, my best friend abandoned me and woe is me!". Yuck.

While Macaque has many good reasons to be angry at Monkey King, that still doesn't give him the right to kidnap and trick MK. It doesn't give him the right to taunt him and make him feel like shit, nor the right to manipulate him and make him think that he's not a good successor.

"Well, you know what that means! There really isn't anything special about you. You're just some kid with a heavy stick!"

Macaque knew that if he hurt MK, eventually Wukong would come out to save him, because he knows that he'll protect him. This is a little theory of mine, but Macaque manipulates shadows, right? Who knows how many times he's watched MK from them? Because I don't think his plan to steal MK's powers was something he thought of in just one minute. No, I'm pretty sure that plan took a while to be thought of.

"Ah, MK. You really are dense, aren't you? You saw a story about a hero who got handed everything? Who didn't have to work for anything? And you thought you were the other guy? The second the hero got real power, he couldn't care less about his friends. That's you, bud."

He tricked him into sharing his insecurities, knowing full well that MK was vulnerable and stressed out about the whole LBD situation, then blamed him for not caring about his friends. He made him doubt whether he truly cares about his friends or not or whether he was even a good person.

And we all know how hard MK's worked to try to get control of his powers, especially after he lost them when LBD took away his staff. MK can be a lot of things: optimistic, a bit smug at times, a bit forgetful... But if there's one thing I'm sure of is that he worked hard to control his powers. He even asked Wukong to limit them so he could control them better, knowing that it'd be harder but he still did it.

And let's take into account that Wukong apologized to MK for how he acted towards him. Macaque, still to this day, hasn't apologized at all. And yet, he keeps mocking Wukong and saying he's the same old Wukong, while he himself is still stuck in the past.

I get that Macaque is angry at Wukong, I really do. But if he were really so angry against him, maybe he should've brought it to Wukong himself instead of using MK. He isn't a saint. He's made mistakes as well. These two are very complicated characters who have gone through a lot, but neither of them are blameless. Macaque isn't a saint, but he does care about some people. And although Wukong has made many mistakes, that doesn't mean that he doesn't care about other people.

Anyways, to finish it off, as MK once said:

"Uh, you know you two are the same, right?"

#lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk sun wukong #lmk macaque #monkey king #sun wukong #six eared macaque #lmk mk #vent #rant #attempt at character analysis #holy fuck this is long #i didn't expect to write that much #but i got carried away #so #hope you liked it #first post in ages #lemme know what you think #these monkeys need THERAPY AND COMMUNICATION

[pocketdaan]

Moonscorch is both the right and wrong term for why Daan "transforms" into Pocketcat, imo.

right, in that Pocketcat is a servant of the Moon God and Daan's being transformed via Moon God methods alongside the Moonscorchification Beam lighting him up.

wrong, in that Daan wouldn't have had Pocketcat haunting him if Daan hadn't experienced a fucked childhood trauma + gotten involved with Sulfur Cultists, so this isn't his Moonscorch form in an ideal world where Daan didn't go through those.

For sure it's not the same type of Moonscorching that others go through, though. Their Moonscorch is meant to expose what's inside but Pocketcat has always been outside of Daan.

(Long theories and analyses under the readmore...)

If you strip them away from the context of Old Gods and look at them as separate people, Pocketcat and Daan aren't much related. Aside from vague connections like upperclass life / their attire / pocket-hand. And while Pocketcat can embody an abuse cycle (in the sense of Daan doing things based off of his childhood experience), that's what Pocketcat is, with or without Daan. He's more of an external thing.

That Moonscorch transformation scene... Pocketcat is crawling out of Daan's body like a parasite slowly sapping the life out of its host. I think it's less of Daan becoming convinced and more of Daan submitting to Pocketcat's wills. When the last sentence goes "The mask and jacket fit you perfectly!" it's not what Daan's thinking/feeling. "Daan" isn't an entity in that body anymore.

Daan's passivity (in the narrative of his story) could be one aspect of having a Blank Soul, but not necessarily that Pocketcat deals have a Blank Soul requirement. I think Pocketcat's shown to be a capable enough parasite to thread his way through a person's insecurities regardless of the soul type.

I also think the thing that shows the core of Daan's insecurity is actually unrelated to the Pocketcat transformation - it's how Pocketcat's Room changes to a murder investigation.

Daan ever only turns to Pocketcat's deal when he feels hopeless at discovering the truth behind his fiancee / father-in-law's murder, he wants to be useful in ways he couldn't back when he was a kid abandoned by his parents. This is the 2nd time he's lost people around him to Old Gods. On top of grieving the life he'd never have with his new family, it's been tearing his old wounds open.

If he were Moonscorched without Pocketcat interference, I think it'd be something similar to restlessly searching for answers while being haunted by childhood traumas. Becoming Pocketcat'd through Moonscorch puts much emphasis on the childhood trauma and no outward signs of investigative behaviors - 1 insecurity is paid attention to in the context of Pocketcat's prey preferences, who was already like that before Daan was born. So, yes, it doesn't feel like a proper Moonscorch by Termina standards.

#fear and hunger #fear and hunger daan #fear & hunger #f&h #pocketcat #my analyses #my theories #I am rambling too much while sleepy as always

[oumagines]

Kokichi With An S/O Who Escaped But Was Later Found

Anonymous Asked: "Yandere Kokichi with a darling that successfully escaped from him but then the darling was later found by him"

Warnings: Kidnapping, severe self-neglect, implied limb removal, implied drugging, Kokichi biting reader's lip to the point of injury, blood

Reader Pronouns: They/Them

Rating: 💀🍇

Notes: God, this was dark-

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ When he noticed you escaped, he didn't want to believe it. On the one hand, he had partially seen it coming, but on the other hand, he had deluded himself into believing you wouldn't even try.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ He doesn't understand why you left. Why don't you want to be with him??? Don't you love him??? Didn't he do enough for you??? Were you hurt??? Did you get lost trying to find him??? So many thoughts were running through his mind on what he could have done to prevent this.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ He searches for you tirelessly, to the extent of neglecting his own health to try and find you before you either rat him out to the police or get yourself in trouble.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Of course, you never go to the police. By the time you would manage to escape, he would have you so paranoid and believing he could spin any situation into his favor and make it seem like not only are you lying, but that you were the aggressor and he was the victim.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ But regardless. He stops eating, barely drinks just enough to stay alive, doesn't sleep more than forty minutes at a time... He's a complete wreck without you, and D.I.C.E. notices it rather quickly.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ D.I.C.E. doesn't support what he does, but they can't stand to see their leader look so... broken and disheveled from the lack of hygiene and self-care after you disappeared.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ So they begin looking, too, but ultimately, they find nothing. You've completely disappeared, and it's almost as though you've vanished off the face of the earth completely. D.I.C.E. is devastated when they realize that they won't be able to help Kokichi.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Months go by before they find you, and Kokichi loses his entire will to live. Those around him notice that he becomes more withdrawn and depressed, and he never seems fully mentally present. His eyes are glazed over and glassy, and he never seems to fully be able to comprehend what they're saying... Everyone that knows Kokichi would describe him as "broken" and "hollow", like he just isn't himself, and most of them don't know why...

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ That is, until one day, when you had dared to do your shopping in an area you knew D.I.C.E. activity was prevalent. You figured that with Kokichi so depressed, D.I.C.E. had probably disbanded as a whole, if not greatly decreased its activity.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ That was your first mistake. But your second? Your second mistake was assuming Kokichi would have mercy on you after you woke up tied to a chair with D.I.C.E. members in uniform, masks and all, surrounding you. When you asked what was going on, the girl with long brown hair simply replied "Kokichi will be here soon." And that sentence terrified you beyond belief.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ As you waited for your pseudo keeper to come fetch you and drag you to what you practically assumed would be your own execution, you begged and pled and reasoned and fought and did everything you possibly could to convince D.I.C.E. to let you go and spare you Kokichi's wrath. But in the end, deep down, you knew they would hear absolutely none of it.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ When Kokichi arrived, you noticed his lack of being properly groomed or taken care of. He was thin, he smelled like he hadn't showered since you left, his hair was long and messy, his lips were cracked and dry, and the bags under his eyes were darker than the night sky.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ But more than anything, you noticed the look in his eyes. Sadness... relief... gratitude... love... pity... obsession... lust... desire... but most importantly? Rage. He was angry, and you knew it was because of you. Would he show you mercy? Somehow, you doubted it.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ "S/O..."

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ His voice was creaky and broken, and it almost sounded like he hadn't spoken since the day you left and was now struggling. But you could hear the overwhelming malice and venom his tone dripped with.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ He climbed half onto the chair with one knee on the edge of it as he roughly kissed you. It wasn't a pleasant kiss at all for you, no. There were teeth involved, and by the end of the ten minutes he kissed you, blood was dribbling down your chin and you were in agony, feeling like he had completely chewed your lip off. Fortunately, he reassured you he wouldn't damage your beautiful face permanently...

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ D.I.C.E. helped him drag you back to Kokichi's place without being caught, using a gag to muffle your cries for help as the suitcase they locked you in was reinforced to prevent any escaping pleas from making it to the outside world. They didn't want anyone to come save you, now did they~?

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ When they put you in Kokichi's basement, he proceeds to chain your arms to the wall and shove a sock into your mouth to keep you quiet as he began to prepare for what he knew had to be done. D.I.C.E. left you to suffer Kokichi's fury on your own, but you knew you'd see your secondary caretakers again...

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ "Do I have to cut your legs off to make you stay with me?! Is that it?! Do I have to remove any and all chances you have to get away from me?! You should know you belong to me!"

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ And as he left to the garage and came back with a circular saw, your fate was sealed. All you remember from that night was the sound of your screams...

#drv3 kokichi #drv3 ouma #kokichi oma #kokichi ouma #kokichi x y/n #ndrv3 kokichi #oma kokichi #ouma kokichi #oumakokichi #yandere kokichi #ndrv3 oma #danganronpa kokichi #kokichi x reader #kokichi x you #danganronpa ouma #drv3 oma #Yandere #yandere danganronpa #yandere #yandere writing #This World Is Mine! I Am The King! 🎲 Request Completed

[bluntblade]

One thing I keep asking myself now in relation to Ahsoka is: does Filoni like samurai films? Does he have thoughts about any of them? And if he does, why isn't any of it in the show?

Like, regardless of anyone's views on The Last Jedi, Rian Johnson engaged with the genre. Rather than just pull from things that had already been used by Star Wars, he explored. He understood the themes of Rashomon and Three Outlaw Samurai, and understood why those films work. You can tell that he has a relationship to and appreciation for the material. He borrows Rashomon's "three versions of the story" and echoing that film, the truth lands in a murky in-between exposes a critical error by a character, but also incites them to an act of real moral courage. The energy of Three Outlaw Samurai, meanwhile, comes through in the slovenly DJ and the frantic, scrappy melee combat.

In the same way, Andor and Rogue One are applying more than just the aesthetics of espionage thrillers and modern war movies to SW (also they understood what those aesthetics are for). For that matter, TCW's Umbara arc used Vietnam War film nods pretty well.

The Mandalorian, I think, has increasingly lost the sense of having anything to say with its Western elements, and in Ahsoka it's even more frustrating. Characters pose with their lightsabers in ways that mimick the likes of Toshiro Mifune, there are musical echoes, the framing vaguely evokes those films at times... yet it stops there, at the surface. They're not doing anything more than The Jedi borrowing frames from Yojimbo back in Mando S2. It begins to feel performative, doing homage to the things which influenced Lucas because they influenced Lucas (and missing the fact that Lucas adored these films because they are terrific works of art).

And that doesn't even get into how much of Kurosawa's actual style isn't imitated at all here. Kineticism, the thing which the master did better than basically anyone else, is pretty much absent, let alone his dramatic use of weather and smoke.

The reason I'm harping on about this is that Filoni and his writers room could really have made hay if they dug into these stories, because they would've found themes that informed the story they were ostensibly setting out to tell. Plenty of Kurosawa films are about ronin (sometimes left masterless by a war that destroyed their clans) and their ambiguous, often fraught relationships with the rest of the world.

Seven Samurai, Yojimbo and Sanjuro all get into this stuff. The former also asks searching questions about what place there is for a warrior in a land at peace, which Masaki Kobayashi's Harakiri explores through a much darker and more cynical lens. All of that feels extremely applicable to an Ahsoka who is meant to be scarred by her experiences and feels a gap in her life, where so much of the Jedi's traditional role as peacekeepers and protectors was meant to go. (There is a similar struggle at the heart of David Kirk's wonderful Musashi Miyamoto novels).

But instead we end up with this very shallow attempt at doing homage, which comes out as rather disrespectful in itself when you break it down.

#star wars ahsoka #ahsoka show #ahsoka critical

[artiststarme]

What If Steve Were To Leave Hawkins? Part 4

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

I wasn't originally going to write about Dustin's reaction but @doubleb11 gave me the idea. I hope it meets your expectations! We go back to Steve's POV in Chicago in the next part. Thank you again for everyone's nice comments!

~*~*~*~

It was no secret that Dustin was struggling. He tried to remain hopeful and upbeat but his insecurities made maintaining a positive attitude difficult. Why would Steve leave? He had promised that he would always be there for Dustin. But so had his deceased grandparents and his dad that left without so much as a goodbye. 

The common denominator had to be Dustin. He knew that he was too sarcastic, too smart to be relatable, and kind of annoying. But he thought Steve understood. He’s always had trouble connecting with people but he thought that Steve was a lifelong friend, an older brother, if you will, that would never drift away. Since the time Steve gave him poor dating advice while looking for Dart, they had been best friends. So why would he leave?

Looking back, he could see why Steve might have underestimated his own importance to the Party. All of its members were a bit emotionally repressed and didn’t know how to talk about their feelings. They all tended to show their love through acts of service or quality time instead of words of affirmation. They did show their love and he thought Steve understood their feelings. But still, if Steve needed verbal validation, he didn’t get any. And Dustin had been a bit too preoccupied talking to Suzie to spend time with him, instead using the excuse of needing a ride to get in his regular amount of ‘Steve-time’. Regardless of his reasons, he felt guilty and useless when it came to searching for the older boy. 

It had been a mere two days since they had all found out about Steve’s leave and it was already affecting Dustin. When he wasn’t pretending to be okay, throwing a tantrum, or worrying about Steve’s well-being, he was ignoring the glances cast in his direction by the other Party members. Eddie had given him a ride to Mike’s for DnD and had tried to ask how he was doing. Dustin pretended to not hear the question and thanked him for the ride. Lucas had asked him if Steve had reached out yet. No, why would he? Dustin probably caused him to leave. Max and El asked if he was alright since he was quieter than usual. No, stop talking to him. Mike and Will avoided asking him questions but their concerned gazes were just as annoying. He was fine. 

Who cares that his pseudo-older brother left without talking to him just like his deadbeat dad? Not him. 

Joyce gave him a ride home from Mike’s when she picked up Will. She assured him that Hopper was doing everything he could to find Steve and that they’d have him home in no time. Dustin couldn’t find it himself to believe her. He just thanked her for the ride and made his way inside. He just wanted a night alone without anyone checking on him or bringing up Steve.

His mom was waiting for him in the kitchen and gave him a gentle smile when he walked in. “How was your game, Dusty?”

Dustin sighed. He wasn't in the mood to talk but his mom wasn’t aware of the situation and she certainly didn’t deserve any of his snark. “Hi mom, it was fun. Will is DM’ing again and Eddie has been giving him pointers. He was ruthless today.”

She hummed and pinched his cheek when she handed him the plate she had saved him from dinner. “Oh goodness, I almost forgot! Your friend Steve called to talk to you. I told him that you were with Mike today. He didn’t leave a message but you might want to call him later, okay Dusty? He sounded a little strange.”

“STEVE CALLED?” Dustin practically screamed as he whipped around in his seat, the bread roll propelling from his hand into a kitchen cabinet. 

His mother looked slightly alarmed but also woefully accustomed to his flamboyant antics. “Yes, Dusty. Don’t throw food, what did that dinner roll ever do to you?”

Dustin’s eyes rolled hard. “I’m sorry. You said Steve called? What did he say? Was he okay? Was he in distress?”

“No, he sounded a bit tired but that’s our Steve. He just asked for you and didn’t have a message to leave once I told him you were out. He will probably call back sometime later tonight or tomorrow sometime.”

Dustin felt his eyes fill with tears and his bottom lip started to quiver. Steve had tried to talk to him and he wasn’t there. What if he was hurt or in danger and Dustin was too busy playing make-believe to take his call? He would never forgive himself.

“Dusty? Oh no, honey! What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” His mother fretted over him and her concern is what pushed him over the edge. 

Dustin burst into big, fat, ugly tears. He sobbed into his mother’s embrace and cried out his feelings of worry, sadness, and angered abandonment. His mom cooed over him and pet her hand through his unstyled curls until he found the strength to speak.

“Mom, Steve left. He just left Hawkins without telling anyone. He’s missing and we don’t know how to find him! And now he called and I wasn’t there! What if he’s hurt and he called me to help him? He left because I was a bad friend and now he’s gone! We can’t even find a way to bring him back.” Dustin wailed through sullied tears. 

Claudia whispered words of comfort and encouragement as she held her sad boy in her arms. “Dusty, he sounded fine. I’m sure he was just calling to check in on you and tell you where he is. I don’t know why he would leave so suddenly but I doubt it was because of you, Dusty.”

“No mom, it was me! He’s been distant and sad for weeks and I told the Party to give him space. Me! I said that. I told them to leave him alone and no one checked in on him. I never even told him what he meant to me. What if he never comes back, mom? He’ll never know how much we love him!”

Claudia was confused with this whole situation. She’s known Steve for nearly three years now and has been nothing but impressed by the older boy. He helped her care for her little Dusty while she was at work or her book clubs. Steve didn’t have a selfish bone in his body, always refusing to take her money for babysitting and relinquishing his free time to drive her admittedly needy son around. It doesn’t make any sense for Steve to abandon the kids he helped raise, the kids who counted on him a fair amount, to leave town out of nowhere. The young man that she knew would never knowingly cause such distress in her little Dusty or his friends. 

“Dusty, I think Steve is dealing with something beyond you or the rest of your friends. He might need some time to work on it but he will be back and he knows how much he means to you. Just give him time. He called today and the next time he calls, I’ll take a message. Alright? Everything will be fine.”

God, he hoped his mom was right about this. Dustin did feel better at her words but there was still a seed of doubt in his mind. Unfortunately, there was nothing else he could do about the situation until Hopper tracked Steve down or until Steve reached out again. For now, he would wait for his best friend to call again and alert the Party to give them the update. For now, he would have hope. 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20: Epilogue

Taglist:@nickavalens@conversesweetheart@themostunoriginalpersonever@swimmingbirdrunningrock@eddiethegreatteddybear @call-me-big-eyes @cornwallisandkerley @moonshadows-13 @glittergluekintsugi @cpidcupk @doubleb11 @mentalcyborg @amoris-no-smut-allowed @purple-lemonade @labels-are-for-the-weak @thebrazilianatheist @rajumat @livelaughlexa @5ammi90 @colorful565 @marvelousforlife @chaoticcoffeequeen @gregre369 @suddenlyinlove@thegreatmistake @stillfullofshit @nburkhardt @batxsignalsx @newunknowns @thosemessyvibes @tailsfromthecrypt@luciana-rowan @bird-with-pencils @adaed5 @lolawon @flustratedcas @iwillfindmyneverland @messrs-weasley @skoomy-doompy @yearningagain @darkwitchoferie @forest-fogg @bitchysunflower @stardust-era @newtstabber@bobatrash-queen @notjasontxdd

#mike is probably offended when dustin tells him that steve called him but none of the other kids #he starts preaching about favoritism and will has to tell him that now is not the time #poor dustin #steve leaving is probably bringing back a lot of bad feelings for him #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #dustin henderson #steddie #fanfic #I still hate writing dialogue

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I’m relatively new to the fandom and have really enjoyed a lot of your posts… I have a question that I couldn’t quickly find an answer to in searching through your tags…

What’s the deal with streaming? Like, I listen to BTS. I enjoy them a lot, I listen to a pretty even mix of all their albums though I probably like MOTS:7 era the best). Some days I listen to them like all day lol (if I’m cleaning the house or something) and I listen to them a lot in the car or while working. I’ve enjoyed some solo releases more than others so I naturally streamed those more. but like the more I start following accounts on here and on army twt the more confused I get about the intense pressure to stream constantly? I’ve heard that people play certain songs (or albums I guess?) on repeat on mute and/or have dedicated streaming devices they keep going all the time.

Not to be negative or rude at all but like…what? Maybe because I’m new to KPop and have never followed it until BTS but that just sounds so weird and… idk the word, maybe disingenuous? Again I do not mean this as an attack I am just genuinely confused. Wouldn’t BTS themselves want us only to listen if we were actually enjoying it and not out of some competitive attempt to get better ratings? It feels so odd to me, like that is not how I would behave with any other artist that I love. I would only ever listen to them out of a genuine desire to hear their music. But there seems to be so much weird shaming out there for when/if songs are not streamed heavily enough? And for any other artist I would just write that off as a difference in taste among the fandom, but here it’s treated like a personal wrong against the artist…?

But as I say that I’m sure there’s more to it… I have definitely seen people talking about payola or chart manipulation so idk. If I should google this instead, just tell me to, I just have already tried and didn’t find that much clarity, just a bunch of people on quora and Reddit talking about certain songs not getting streamed enough.

Anyways this is super long, sorry if it annoys you. Just thought you seemed knowledgeable and levelheaded enough to ask? Love your posts. All the best.

*

Ask 2:

Okay wait I’m the anon that just asked about streaming and I went and re-read your post about “inorganic success” — I had read it before but somehow I didn’t put together that the 24-7 streaming is an attempt to combat payola or like go up against it I guess. Okay. That makes more sense. I still feel like there’s a weird focus on charting but I guess if it’s about getting more concert venues and more radio play it makes sense.

You can ignore my last ask then I’m sorry if I’m being dense or something lol.

***

You haven’t at all asked a stupid question. Your confusion is easily explained by you being new to k-pop, and everyone new to this madhouse asks this question eventually. I’ve talked about this before, but can’t find the post for the life of me so I’ll briefly go over it again.

First, you need to understand what k-pop is. K-pop is a system that gamifies music consumption. Competition is something you’ll see in the music industry regardless. Western stans such as Arianators, Barbz, and the Beyhive have organized around streaming goals and efforts for at least 10 years now. But there’s no other music industry that explicitly emphasizes competition among groups and fans, the way the k-pop industry does.

Competition is baked into its DNA:

From the idol training system under agencies with supposed specialities that are treated like warring houses a la Game of Thrones (a mentality created by the Big 3),

to the music shows where fans are encouraged to vote daily and weekly for the best artists and where wins are tied to streaming numbers,

to the highly publicized year-end award show criteria that outline key metrics for wins in streams, sales, and fan votes.

Basically, the k-pop industry creates a clear hierarchy of talent and acclaim for artists in their system, directly stokes fan participation in buying into that hierarchy, and the numbers are the easiest litmus test/short cut to settle the question of who is at the top.

And all of this is served with a cocktail of parasocial delusion and entitlement that has (more easily manipulated) fans thinking their perceived investment into their faves, earns them the right to micromanage their fave idols’ careers. All of this benefits the labels and industry because they’d rather have you more engaged (even if toxically), than not.

Everybody here buys into this system despite what they’ll tell you, some just manage to keep their wits and perspective to prevent getting sucked in, while others fall headfirst into it.

And so, like I said in my ‘inorganic success’ post you referenced, the focus on streaming is part of fans really just playing the game. Excess is something you’ll see on the charts in any case, whether in k-pop or in the West.

The difference with BTS and ARMYs however, is in the why of how the fandom streams. Essentially, you’re more likely to find people just as passionate about the music itself as they are about giving that music its due in hard numbers and consequently, recognition. You’re more likely to find fans like this in the ARMY fandom, than any other, in my opinion. Some people forget that the og ARMYs were k-pop fans first. They were fans who intimately understood how this system worked, they understood why the Big3 maintained dominance in k-pop for literal decades, and they saw the worth in the music BTS made, loved it enough to invest time into the playing the game better than anyone else at the time - pushing BTS from nugu status to where they are now, competing well outside the realm of the k-pop system but in a space that remains complex and highly competitive.

Another aspect that differentiates how ARMYs stream vs other k-pop fandoms, is that due to the sheer size of the fandom in absolute numbers, the average ARMY typically streams less than a typical k-pop stan. Basically, in other fandoms the typical stan has to stream more per person to have even a fraction of the gains seen in the ARMY fandom. ARMYs also aren’t doing anything other fandoms aren’t doing, it’s just that so far, they’re more efficient at it and don’t have to worry too much because BTS makes music that keeps attracting more fans, adding to the size of the fandom. They’ve also generally stayed away from more illegal methods given the intense scrutiny and animosity the fandom has faced for being part of the reason BTS upended the ordained hierarchy in this space. It sounds silly but it’s true.

But that’s only one side of the story. The other side is that in the fandom, everybody here really just does what they want. And many people genuinely enjoy listening to BTS that much and that intensely. Going by personal experience in what I observed before I became ARMY, I noticed that many ARMYs are Type A and organized - people who like and study data. The first time in my life that I saw someone create a spreadsheet for fan theories on a k-pop MV, was when an ARMY made one for I NEED U MV. I’m not sure what it is about BTS, but from the beginning they’ve attracted the sort of fans who genuinely enjoy listening to music often, people who enjoy creating and playing around with playlists, and people who track and measure applicable data. So your assumption that the people who stream like this are people who don’t actually enjoy the music, is wrong. In my opinion. For a lot of ARMYs, streaming and appreciating the music isn’t mutually exclusive.

Personally, I listen to music a lot. And I’ve always been that way, so when I became ARMY, I just sort of naturally fit into that culture. The sort of music BTS makes is a joy to listen to, I play their stuff literally everyday and it feels like the most normal thing in the world for me to sleep to Serendipity sometimes (in my sleep playlist which includes brown noise and rain sounds), or to do laundry to Let Me Know playing, or to drive to UGH and Set Me Free Pt 2 playing. I have multiple accounts because I listen to all kinds of music all the time, and it’s just convenient for me to have things set up such that I can flip on a playlist in every situation I’d want one on.

But like I said, the reality is that everyone in this fandom does what they want. It’s true there are certain people in the fandom who obsess over streaming, these are typically chartmys and akgaes, but most other people stream however they like. Fandom in general is a pressure cooker environment so I don’t blame you for noticing that pressure, but at the end of the day you really should just do what makes the most sense to you.

ARMYs generally recognize the reality of the space they are in, they recognize what it means for BTS, and most simply tweak their normal listening habits to maximize the gain and support to BTS. Plus sometimes it’s fun to play into fandom’s initiatives as a way to connect with other fans (such as in streaming parties).

I ended up rambling but let me know if this answered your question.

#BTS #BTS army #bts fandom #kpop fandom #kpop industry #fandom behaviour #streaming

[idrellegames]

How do you maintain love in your playerbase knowing that some of the people there are the same selfish people who are leaking or trying to leak/pirate the hard work of indie devs and writers? Ngl my project was nowhere near as big and popular as yours but something like that happened to me and I slowly lost interest in my project. I still keep up with IFs I like but can't ever seem to manifest the interest and love I used to have for my work after it happened the first time. People say things like giving up is just "letting them win" or that we should just be happy that someone out there enjoys our game and hearing "reasons" like that make me realize it's hopeless to get any respect for my work

First of all, I'm really sorry your project got leaked. It is an unfortunate side of being a creator - especially an online one. Regardless of the form, regardless of whether you're an hobbyist or a professional, art is a hot commodity. People want high quality entertainment, but they don't want to pay for it.

I've been avoiding addressing the IF leaks outside of this post because I don't think it's productive to throw any more attention on the situation. Leaks happen, they are always going to happen--if someone wants something and they can't afford it or don't want to pay for it and they want it badly enough, they will find a loophole. At the end of the day, it's a very small community of people who are pirating and shoving them into the spotlight is only going to draw more people who were maybe on the fence about downloading pirated content into doing it.

I am pretty steeled when it comes to this topic now. IF isn't the only place where I have experienced my work being leaked. I come from a theatre background and it is very easy for your original work to get produced without you even knowing about it.

A show I worked on in 2012 has its script available online as part of the library of the university where it was produced. My co-writer and I don't collect royalties from it; the intention is for it to remain free to produce for amateur and university companies. However, because of the political and sensitive nature of the script, my co-writer is very adamant about directors contacting her for permission to produce it and to follow certain guidelines before putting it on. Learning about a production in Australia months after the show closed didn't feel great. It wasn't about money, it was about ethics.

With the IF leaks specifically, I think there's a bit of a disconnect happening here between the people who want to play the games and how they view the indie creator who made them. They see paying a Patreon sub as the same as paying a big company for a product, and if they can't afford to pay it or if they don't want to, then no harm is done by pirating it.

But that's not what the relationship is.

Patreon is not paying for a product, it is supporting the creator's livelihood. I am extremely grateful for my patrons. A game the size of Wayfarer is not something that can feasibly be done in the spare moments between day jobs. But capitalism stops for no one and to make this game, I need to be able to afford rent and groceries. A living wage, as some would say.

Are leaks disheartening? Yes. But I also think that people who play pirated content were never going to sub to Patreon in the first place. And, as mentioned earlier, the number of people involved is relatively small. Thankfully, I'm not that much at risk of leaks actually affecting my income at the moment. But I would be concerned and would take a firmer stance if you Googled Wayfarer and the first search result was a pirated copy (and then I would probably follow the appropriate steps to have that result taken down from the search results).

I think the worst thing you can do as a creator is confront leakers directly. That is only going to blow back on you and put more of a spotlight on the fact that your work is getting leaked. I much would rather focus my time and energy on encouraging my community not to pirate my content than chasing down leakers and making PSAs about it.

For the folks who can't afford a Patreon sub or to anyone considering pirating my content, I would encourage you to apply to be playtesters when applications are open. If you bug test for me, then you can play the alpha content for free.

Outside of that, I take measures to protect my work as much as I can. It's not a perfect system (I don't think it's possible to make your work 100% pirating proof - if people want it badly enough, they will find a way to get it), but I know I've done as much as I can and I am content with that. I don't let it bother me. I have more important things to do with my time.

And for the people who do pirate my work - Bravo! Congratulations! It's very entertaining how petty you are.

#wayfarer #wayfarer if #answered