#its about accepting and admitting when you are

[ragzonacamrencruise]

for this ask right here:

okay so, hear meowt, yeah?? ***

THE PROPOSAL (REVERSED)

Azula isn't dumb. She swears she isn't. She literally conquered Ba Sing Se without a single casualty and with only three people. She's the greatest mastermind in the whole world and she knows how to manipulate people like she knows the back of her own hand.

So, she really should've seen this coming from miles away when she had the chance, right? RIGHT?????

Right . . .

She fucking did NOT!

...

[Three months ago]

"I- uhm . . . It looks really . . . sharp? Yeah, sharp. Thank you?"

Katara blinked, her face slightly loosing its glow as Azula said that. "You don't like it?"

Azula ran her eyes over the blue stone, neatly carved and linked to a blue ribbon, a truly marvellous speciman for a betrothal necklace. She knew of its culture from the Water Tribe, of course, but didn't really get around to the specifics of it.

But, what she didn't understand was, why was Katara of all people, giving her a betrothal neclace?!

Then she looked at Katara's neck. It's almost impossible to imagine the girl without her iconic necklace that was given to her by her . . . who was it now, mother? Yeah, she specifically remembered the conversation she had with the waterbender like an year ago, or something. Why she rememebered it? She had no clue.

The necklace lay on her lithe neck almost like it was a part of the girl's skin itself. Well, Azula thought, if mothers can give their betrothal necklaces to their daughters, then maybe, the whole betrothal necklace thing doesn't just have a singular purpose, right?

The girl had told Azula how her friends thought she was too motherly or something. So, when Azula had opened up about how her own mother thought she was a monster and never loved her, the girl had comforted her saying that Azula never has to worry about not having a mother anymore cuz she herself was going to take care of her.

And taking care of Azula, she did spectacularly. She never left Azula's side even for a minute, annoyingly so, and always sided with her whenever a Royal General Meeting was afoot. Sometimes, she even held Azula's arm while they walked through the Royal Gardens, much to Azula's irritation.

So, yeah . . . Maybe, the waterbender gave it to her because . . . she thought of herself as Azula's . . . mother? No, wait that's a weird thought and Azula shouldn't be having it while she's thinking of slamming the girl to the nearest wall and going to town at the very neck she's looking at.

Azula shook herself away from her thoughts. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, the waterbender had been growing on her for the past 3 years, and Azula trusted her with her life. She will never admit it, though. It'll make her look like a fool.

"No, I like it." Azula said, as she placed the necklace on her own neck, tying it into place. "We have a matching set."

Katara looked down at her own necklace. "Oh, yeah." She said, and clutched a strand of her, shifting her weight from her toes to heel.

Azula had been around the girl for enough to notice that that was a nervous tick. Don't as ask her why. She just liked to study people. That's all. She's a people person. She definitely did not pay attention to the waterbender whenever she had the chance to.

Azula looked all around the Royal Garden awkwardly, trying so hard to diffuse the tension. Like, why was it even so tense in the first place?!

"I'm really glad you accepted it." Katara said slowly, looking at Azula with her chin down. "I was really nervous about it and then Sokka hit me on the head really hard saying that-"

"Wait-" Azula interrupted her. "Why wouldn't I accept it?"

Well, sealing friendships in the way of gifts wasn't new to Azula. Firelord Sozin sealed his friendship with Avatar Roku with a gift, right?

Katara blinked. And then her lips spread out in that shy little smile that Azula will never admit as her favourite. "I thought you wouldn't want to." Katara explained. "Aang thought that too. But Zuko and Sokka said I was being an idiot and I should've given this to you sooner."

Azula frowned. Why would Katara consult with Azula's wimp brother and his idiot boyfriend over a simple gift? It's not really that big of a deal, right?

"Okay, rule number one," Azula said, hoping to get the weirdness out of her head, "Never listen to anything our stupid brothers say, yeah? One moment you're all knowledgable and then the next moment you talk to them and lose your brain to the dark spirits."

Katara laughed. A really pretty sound. But Azula had no idea why she was laughing. She didn't even make a joke, for Agni's sake!

But, she was doing something right?

...

[One month ago]

Katara's visit to Azula's chambers had been frequent ever since she'd given her the necklace. Azula had been complaining (but not really) about how she needs to respect the Fire princess's boundaries and personal space.

But, Katara, had just barged in through her door, plopping down right next to her on the bed. If she'd been any closer, she would've landed right on Azula's lap and the princess would've exploded from the sheer pressure of proximity.

"Hi." Katara beamed, her blue eyes sparkling.

"Don't you have any other person you'd like to torture with your presence?" Azula rolled her eyes, trying to put some distance between them but failing miserably.

"No." Katara slid in closer, making Azula's heart rate skyrocket. "Not when you're right here."

Azula gave her a look, that conveyed pure annoyance. And yet, the waterbender only grinned wider.

"You're annoying." Azula stated.

"I know."

"But today it's tenfold."

"Not without reason."

Azula looked at her with a slight raise of her brow.

Katara seemed to read her like a book as she opened her mouth to explain. "I went down to the printer with Aang, and guess what?"

Azula rolled her eyes. "No."

Katara squealed and pulled out a scroll and unrolled it. "The invitation! It's ready!"

Azula looked at the neatly painted design of the invite held in Katara's delicate hand. But she was more enraptured by the hand that was holding it rather than the invite itself. She traced the smooth, brown fingers with her eyes, moving up along the arm and to Katara's neck where her necklace hung. She gulped, thinking of the time when Katara gave her a necklace and the thoughts of the very neck that had plagued her brain after it had happened. Her eyes then landed on Katara's lips and they looked so soft, so full, that Azula wanted nothing more than to know what they tasted like.

When she lifted her eyes up, her heart stopped when she found Katara was looking directly at her. Her blue eyes shined of something that Azula couldn't quite pin-point. It was like the vast expanse of the entire ocean had come crashing down on Azula and she was drowning. Fast.

Azula's hand found a mind of it's own, placing itself on Katara's thigh in a feather light touch, feeling the roughness of her fabric all the way up to her hips where her body curved.

She let out a rough breath, her mind not really catching up with her mouth as she asked, "When?"

She wasn't really sure what she meant by asking the waterbender that question, but she had strong suspicions that it had nothing to do with the invitation the girl was holding and rather had everything to do with the girl herself.

Katara, seemed to be stuck in the same daze as her, her eyes glossing over when it landed on Azula's lips and meeting her gaze again. "Soon." She panted out.

Azula's foggy brain couldn't really register what they were talking about, but before she even had the time to ask, Katara stood up from the bed and rushed out of the room, her face glowing red.

Only then, air seemed to fill Azula's lungs. She shook her head, trying to make sense of what just happened. But then her eyes fell on the scroll splayed on the bed, and she recognised the shape of Katara's and her own name written on it.

She wanted us to go as dates to this wedding? That was what she was excited about?!

Azula groaned as she fell back on her bed.

...

[Present day]

Azula feels rough hands pulling her aside.

When she stepped inside the wedding hall, she did not expect it to be this . . . lavish. And she certainly wasn't prepared to get man-handled by-

"Sokka?!" Azula exclaims. "Get your filthy hands off me, peasant!" But when she saw panic filling his eyes, her demeanor became more serious.

"Why aren't you dressed up?!" He whisper-yells so that no one could hear it except them.

"What do you mean?" Azula looks confused. "I'm the Fire princess. I'm always dressed up!"

"No, you idiot!" And Azula would've smacked him right there if he didn't sound so worried. "Why aren't you- . . . Okay, you know what? Come with me."

He pulls her outside to the way leading to their respective chambers.

...

Azula feels good about her appearance. She really does. Whether she'd like to admit it or not, but Sokka did a wonderful job picking out her outfit and appearance. But what she doesn't feel good about is how her brother Zuko, is making her hold his arm while walking her down the aisle that is meant for the people getting married and their best, closest people.

She looks all around, extemely confused.

What in the name of Agni is going on?!

She doesn't really get it. Is this a sick joke that they're all trying to play on her?!

But that Admiral from a Fire Nation Colony wouldn't be sitting over there, picking his ear if it was really a joke, right?

"It's a big day, Azula." Zuko whispers beside her. "You can at least try to smile, right?"

She opens her mouth to respond. To ask him what the heck is going on. But before she could open her mouth, Zuko steps her up to the stage, and silently relieves himself to the sidelines.

She blinks, trying so hard to wake up from this stupid dream. She came here as Katara's date, right? Then why is her brother making her get on stage?! Why are all the people she knew her whole life and and a bunch of other people who are majorly from the Water Tribes are occupying the hall right now?!

And where the hell is Katara?!

Azula thinks hard. Really hard. But she really can't put a finger on it. Something's strange and it feels like she's the only person in the room who doesn't get it. Standing up here on stage, next to Sokka's big grin, and a bunch of other 'important' people looking up at her from their seats below the stage, wasn't really the place where she thought she'd realise she's dumb.

Maybe she was going crazy, after all.

She turns to Aang sharing the stage with her, who's wearing his traditional monk clothing he wore for her brother's coronation. When his eyes fall on her, he gives her an encouraging smile.

Suddenly, a traditional Water Tribe flute begins to play a tune and everyone in the hall stands up.

Azula recognises the tune. It's the wedding tune played for when the bride enters the wedding hall. Then she suddenly realises that the same tune was playing when she entered the hall too with Zuko holding her hand.

Wait-

She's the bride?! How and why is she the bride?! And why is the tune playing again if she had already entered the hall?! There are TWO brides?!

Suddenly, all heads turn to the entrance of the hall and Azula whips her head around too; to see what the hell it's all about.

The moment her eyes land on the entrance, her jaw practically hangs. Walking in, wearing a blue, flowing, elegant dress Azula's ever seen on a human, is Katara. Her hair's in a bun, her iconic hair-loopies hanging loose to frame her face. And somehow, the prettiest thing she's wearing is the smile on her face.

Her hand is tucked inside her father's arm, who's wearing the traditional Water Tribe Chief's attire, walking the waterbender down the aisle. She's holding a bouquet of fire lilies in her hand and they contrast pleasantly with her blue dress.

When they finally reach the stage, Katara steps up while her father moves to the sidelines to stand beside Zuko.

And that's when Katara's eyes fall on her.

And just like that, Azula's head falls into a spiral, realisation hitting her like a battering ram.

The necklace . . . The invitation . . . The wedding-

OH LORD AGNI, SHE'S GETTING MARRIED TO KATARA!!!!

Panic grips her heart.

Azula isn't dumb. She swears she isn't.

She literally conquered Ba Sing Se without a single casualty and with only three people. She's the greatest mastermind in the whole world and she knows how to manipulate people like she knows the back of her own hand.

So, she really should've seen this coming from miles away when she had the chance, right? RIGHT?????

Right . . .

She fucking did NOT!!

Katara looks at her with a furrowed brow. "Hey . . . Are you okay?"

"WE'RE GETTING MARRIED?!?!"

The entire rooms falls silent.

Katara looks taken aback by the question. "What-?!"

"WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?!?!"

Katara's frown deepens. "Azula, what are you talking about?! Of course you knew!"

"No, I didn't!!"

"What?!"

"I didn't realise it until now! You've all been lying to me?!"

Katara gets a bit closer to her, in a attempt to calm her down. "No one was lying to you, Azula, what are you talking about?!"

"I thought you invited me to this wedding as your date! You didn't tell me that WE are the ones getting married!!"

The waterbender's eyes are wide, taking a moment to grasp the information. "What do you mean?! I literally gave you a betrothal necklace and showed you our wedding invitations!!"

Azula blinks. "I thought the betrothal necklace was a gift of friendship. I didn't know you were actually asking me to marry you!!"

"Don't be riddiculous, Azula. Stop it. This isn't funny!"

Azula shakes her head. "No, it really isn't funny. I swear until like twenty minutes ago, I was standing way over there waiting for you to be my date for the wedding. Sokka literally had to dress me up again!!"

Katara gasps, her eyes getting glossy. Silence hangs heavily in the hall, the people looking at the both of them like a volleyball court.

The waterbender takes a moment to speak. "So . . . So you . . . You really didn't know?"

"I did not."

A single tear falls from Katara's eye and Azula's heart shatters. "Y- You don't . . . You don't want to marry me?" Katara's voice is feeble, at the verge of breaking down.

Azula closes her mouth, pulling her head back, stunned. She looks around the hall, to see shocked faces, looking at the stage with wide eyes.

The gravity of the situation decends on Azula. She singlehandedly is ruining the most extravagant wedding she's ever witnessed. And the irony is that it's her wedding. She's wanted nothing more than to call Katara her own, but this truly is shocking to anyone who doesn't even realise that they're getting married! Like, seriously. Why didn't people make it more clear to her?!

Seeing Azula's lack of reply, Katara does break down. She lets out a loud sob, before stepping down the stage quickly to walk away.

"Katara, wait!" Azula exclaims. The princess's nerves finally, FINALLY do their goddamn job and jolts her muscles awake, and as quick as her own lightning, she steps down the stage behind Katara and grabs her wrist from behind. The waterbender lets out a gasp, being pulled to a sudden stop.

Azula flips the girl around, pulling her close. Katara's eyes are filled to the brim with tears, leaking out now and then and Azula can't help but wipe them away.

"You're annoying." The princess says softly. "You're stubborn and irritating and you stick to my side like an elbow leech. You're a pain in my ass and I've been wanting to make you my wife ever since, just to pay you back on how much you annoy me."

Katara's lips fall open, her eyes wide and attentive.

"So, stop crying those pathetic little tears and come marry me." Azula says as she wipes another steak of tear falling down the waterbender's cheek. "Come on."

Azula pulls Katara's wrist back to the stage, and the whole hall erupts in cheers. Aang reads the vows and much to Azula's delight, Katara's tears stop.

But she still isn't 100% herself, and Azula notices it. When Aang asks them both whether they would care for each other in sickness and in health, and take each other as wives, Katara only replies with a feeble "I do" and falls silent again.

"I do." Azula says with a smile, but it falters when Katara doesn't smile back.

...

Azula enters Katara's chambers that night, noticing at once that it was decorated completely with rose petals and fire lilies. A pleasant smell hits her nose and candle lamps light up the entire room with an incandescent glow.

She steps inside, closes and locks the door behind her. When she turns around, her eyes fall on a small frame, sitting on the bed hugging her knees with her head tucked in between them.

Katara.

Azula takes determined steps forward. She reaches her wife in no time and sits beside her cautiously. She's pretty sure Katara's aware of her presence but the waterbender doesn't really respond to it. Azula blinks, her head racing with a million thoughts.

"Hey . . ." Azula says softly. "Look at me . . ."

"Go away." Katara's muffled voice demands, and to Azula, it sounds like she's been crying again.

"I will not." Azula says firmly. "Not unless you look at me."

A beat passes, before Katara sniffles and lifts her head up. Azula's gut bottoms out as she takes a look at her wife's face. It's puffy and red from all the crying and the princess had to admit that she looked kinda cute.

"Leave me alone!" Katara says before letting her head fall again.

"Nuh-uh." Azula disagrees before moving closer and wrapping her fingers around Katara's wrists to pry them open. "We're going to-"

As soon as Azula touches her, Katara bursts. "Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone!"

The waterbender pulls her hand away from Azula's grip and starts hitting her, landing blows blindly, anywhere she can find, all the while screaming, "Leave me alone!"

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, OW! Stop it, Katara, STOP IT!!"

But Katara doesn't stop. "How dare you do that to me?! How dare you scare me like that?!"

Azula lets out a laugh.

"Don't laugh, you idiot!" Katara hits her shoulders, then arms, then legs, and Azula braces herself from the blows, laughing non-stop. "I thought I made a terrible mistake! Like I was forcing myself on you! I hated myself for it!! How dare you scare me like that?!"

Azula finds a gap between blows and wraps her arms around Katara's hips, pulling her forward to her body and holding her close. Katara struggles to get out of her grip, to land some more blows, but Azula's stronger.

"Well . . . you guys are pretty shit at informing people about their own wedding!!" Azula guffaws, placing her hand on Katara's head and pulling it close to her shoulder.

Unable to hit Azula anymore due to the proximity, Katara gives up, clutching onto the firebender's collars desperately. "And you are pretty shit at marrying me!" She shrieks, moving closer to Azula and burying her face in her neck. "I will absolutely murder you, if you do something like that again!"

Azula could do nothing but chuckle. "If only it were true."

Katara looks up at her instantly, pulling Azula forward by her collar. "I mean it, princess! Don't you ever think about doing that to me ever again. And if you leave me for somebody else, I will personally track you down and kill the bitch who stole you from me. Understood?"

Azula smirks, getting lost in Katara's stare. "Yes ma'am."

"Okay. Good." Katara says, before slowly letting her lips curve into that shy smile that always took Azula's breath away.

"You're mood swings are worse than falling from an airship."

Katara giggles before hitting Azula's chest playfully. "Shut up!"

Azula gasps. "You can't tell me what to do!"

"Actually, I can. I'm your wife now, remember?" The waterbender lifts a single eyebrow, a smirk on her face.

"Well, in that case-" Azula says before pushing Katara flat on her back on the bed. "-I believe we have some wife businesses to attend to."

Katara gasps. "Like what?" She whispers.

"For starters-" The princess dips her head down place a feather soft kiss on Katara's neck, finally getting to experience a fantasy that's been hogging her brain forever.

"Azulaaaaaa" Katara whines, low and deep, not really wanting her mood to shift.

Azula stares at her wife. Her annoying, defiant, resilient, stubborn, head-strong, spirited, sophisticated, and beautiful wife.

If she's dumb, then she's the luckiest dumb person on the planet.

***

😭😭😭

there you have it!

thank you @edy-lyy for sending me this wonderful idea through your ask!!!! i had soooo much fun writing this.

also, if you see any typos, no you didn't 🙈🙈

#azutara #atla #ragzie yaps #this is exactly when i decided i love azutara too much your honour #azutara drabble #drabble #a lil bit of angst #zukka if u use a magnifying glass #canon compliant atla au fanfic #fanfic #atla fanfic #azutara fanfic #azula #katara #avatar aang #zuko #prince zuko #princess azula #katara of the southern water tribe #sokka #sokka of the southern water tribe #marriage alliance #betrothal #fluff #kazula #katzula #zukka #asks #asked and answered #send me asks

[beatbawksradio]

i encourage 100% of people to look up a good little list of toxic and abusive behaviors and vibe check yourselves, both for the sake of your own self improvement, and for the sake of the wellbeing of those around you. many abusive people are that way bc they are legitimately unaware that what they're doing is abusive, the only way to become aware is to make yourself aware. teach yourself. and when you do inevitably relate to at least one of those toxic traits (bc we are all flawed and its okay), don't take your ability to empathize with bad behavior as "its not actually bad," or that you're somehow a good person bc you can empathize with toxicity- you empathizing with it actually confirms that you are, in fact, a toxic person, too, and that's the thing you should be working on. and, you'll also be more informed in general, so when someone points out toxic behavior either to you or around you, you'll understand that its not the messenger you should be mad at- its not like they invented the definition of abuse specifically to make you look bad or anything like that- the person you should be mad at is YOU. you are the one who is doing the toxic behavior that's hurting people. the reason why people keep coming down on you is because you are the problem, and if you don't want to hear it from a messenger (or should i say, someone trying to set a boundary with you), then please just go look it up for yourself

#beatsposting #sessionvibe #being a good person isn't about not being a bad person #its about accepting and admitting when you are

[caffeinatedopossum]

I don't understand why it's generally not socially acceptable to recognize your good qualities. Like I don't understand why it's bad to be a show-off or a know-it-all or to brag. Like I think most people know "those things = bad" but not why.

It also seems like people are always either waaaaay into one end of the scale where they are just so unbearably full of themselves and have preposterously high self esteem (and most people act like this is fine too? Like a lot of celebrities and white men specifically seem to be like this) and I don't understand why so many people respect them then. Or they're the complete opposite with self esteem way too low despite the fact that they have redeeming qualities.

I feel like maybe the reason it's considered bad to brag is because you might 'make' other people feel inadequate but see that seems like a stupid reason to me because the problem then is not that you stated an opinion of your own self worth but is actually that everyone else is conditioned to compare themselves to each other in a very unhealthy way. And I think instead of discouraging people from opening up about what they take pride in, what they like about themselves, what makes them feel happy or content or confident, maybe we could just be discouraging people from viewing those things as personal threats? Idk just trying to formulate some thoughts on this

#idk why but this feels like a very convoluted topic #like so many people are probably coming from different starting positions on this than i am and im afraid that might #make it be misinterpreted or something #like i feel like there definitely is a balance where some self esteem is too little and some is too much #it just feels like it is exceedingly rare to find anyone with ideal realistic self esteem and idk why #i also dont mean this in a way to say that every action is the responsibility of the people taking offense either #because obviously thats not how that works. its understandable to demand a certain amount of respect #and to accept that your words (even the ones you say about yourself) could negatively impact other people #and thats not necessarily on them for being defensive #idk social concepts are strange and foreign to me so im still figuring this stuff out and through an autistic lense to boot #so sometimes i feel a bit like im conducting a study or an experiment more than writing a blog post #im just trying to understand people because i need to #it seems like the overwhelming majority of allistics have absolutely no interest in why they do the things that they do #so i have to go around experimenting instead of asking direct questions about this stuff #because when i do ask direct questions they look at me like i just asked them if the sky is actually blue or if its just gasses up there #in case you are not the most common dimwit. the sky is both of those things. however when you ask someone a question #phrased like that about a topic they dont want to admit they dont know about. they will usually avoid the question or answer absurdly #its actually kinda funny you should try it sometime #now im distracted because i dont know enough about how the sky works and i need to know #anyways gonna go down a research rabbit hole methinks

[areacode516]

thinking about deh again… like i think one of the things that makes deh age weirdly is that the latter portion of it is incredibly uncomfortable to sit through. and it doesn’t quite give you the full catharsis you expect (i.e full closure with all characters). so it gives you an exceptionally like. emotionally tense feeling. it’s so heavy. when i finished watching it the first time it took me like all night to process it and finally relax and sleep. i liked the discomfort a lot though, it’s rare that a story makes you sit through it and sit with it and doesn’t feed you the perfect happy ending.

the entire Moment of evan revealing everything to the murphys is like. not quite second hand embarrassment, it’s like. second hand “totally fucked” (spring awakening style) and second hand “i want to kms” (how can you not empathize with/have compassion for evan during words fail) and second hand pure desperation of wanting to be anyone else but yourself but also wishing you could want to be yourself.

but in the end the murphys DON’T totally fuck evan à la melchior gabor…like….because they got attached to him and still feel that attachment, because he helped them get closure, because they realize he was very troubled and the truth coming out could make him go out the same way as connor and they wouldn’t be able to stand the guilt and knowing they could have prevented it…again…that is SO compelling. it’s not even about redemption or forgiveness. his lies helped them, and if you’re really extraordinarily cynical, the lie (platitude) that you will be found (the original lie that evan was found by connor), that there’s always going to be someone who’ll come running also helps people…and it’s not really a lie if the musical itself found people, right….the layers of #ywbf in universe and out of it are insane and I honestly think a lot of them are unintentional considering. but i would argue those layers were originally intentional (since the original idea pasek/paul/levenson came up with was a cynical satire on parasocial grief) but layers later pushed away in favor of fully celebrating joyfully and optimistically their song and story and theme and audience at the time, removing the nuance, leading to the direction of the movie.

could deh the musical have said what it wanted to say with more sensitivity and grace? sure. but what it *does* say is worth accepting its messy conclusions for, because expecting things to be neat and tidy and perfectly moral is just another lie we force ourselves to present to the world that prevents us from ever finding each other.

#dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen analysis #dear evan hansen meta #evan hansen #i find it admirable that while making deh they originally wanted to make fun of these characters but the more they got to know them #the more compassion and empathy they felt for them. #every single character in the story deserves compassion. bc if they do not...there is no hope for the rest of us #i also think that the protrayal of mental illness as something complicated that does hurt people is actually valuable #its more damaging to pretend that the only people who deserve help are the ones who have never been mentally ill in the wrong way #the more walls we put up projecting false selves; the more it becomes impossible to tear them down and feel safe being *flawed* #if i had found deh earlier as a teenager at my most su/c/dal ywbf would have pissed me OFF lmaoo i would have gone #'ITS NOT THAT EASY!' but that undercurrent is there within the text when you *know* for evan its all a lie. #he wants to pretend what really happened didnt and move on with the rewrite like that but its not. that. easy. and he finds out the hard wa #the anguish will never end until we let ourselves be seen in all our monstrous glory and come out the other side caked in gore but Alive #i should make it its own post but like. every single chara in deh projects a false version of themselves to the world because they think #they have to. because they think theyre not allowed to show people their flaws and anguish and mistakes #'the scary truth is i'm flying blind' - heidi thought she couldnt let evan know this. #the truth is scary and uncomfortable #she tried to pretend she wasnt coming up short all the time - until she admits it in sb/ss - #and once heidi has allowed evan to acknowledge her flaws evan can finally believe she loves him #that he is loved despite everything he thinks is wrong with him. that she wont hate him for what he did. that the pain will pass #thats just an example #theres also more heidi analysis you can do in this vein with regards to her interaction with the murphys but ive already talked too much #meta #my.post #it takes vulnerability to begin to accept ourselves and others #i want like. to talk about the themes of the story with people #maybe thats too much to ask for in 2024 #if theres anything you disagree with here or would like clarification on please feel free to interact!!!!

[fullyerecteggplant]

i think it’s kinda funny that the two pieces of media i’m going The Most Insane™ over currently are the Malevolent podcast and the silly little youtube puppet show about history

#i mean i guess they both have themes of the beauty of humanity and The Power Of Friendship #and admitting when you’ve been nasty to your friends and asking forgiveness and forgiving them in turn #i guess the major divergence is the quiet acceptance of the end vs FUCK YOU NO WE ARE NOT DYING ITS TRIUMPH OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT TIME BITCH #it’s about knowing when to accept the end #but anyway #malevolent #puppet history

[piplupod]

mother: "theres this great job where you'd be on-call to come in!"

me: "ahhh i don't really want to be on-call, that would stress me out a lot because I'd always be on edge,,"

mother: "no you wouldn't, you could make it your thing!"

me: "...my thing?"

mother: "being on call! it'd be great! :)"

me: "i would probably be crying like... a lot ahaha. because I would always be on edge never knowing when to expect having to go into work, yknow?"

mother: "nooo, you could just make it a thing!"

me: "sorry, what do you mean by thing?"

AND I NEVER FOUND OUT !!

#i feel very ill fdsjkl tonight was ... not good #not the worst definitely not the worst #just. a lot of diet talk and making fun of other ppl that she expected us to all laugh at (and we did. idk if they found it funny.) #and brother labelling some influencer having rape charges against him just ''internet drama'' #number one: i dont want to hear about that. number two: that is not just ''drama'' that is like. serious. what the fuck is wrong w youuuu #my mother will say that all the food i eat is very bad for me and do that while knowing full well i struggle to eat Anything #and say that simply Adding things to the diet is pointless bc ur poisoning urself still! u have to Take Out things! i cant fucking do that! #im still baffled that two years ago when i tried to go to them for help when i was almost fainting from not eating they just shrugged at me #''okay? why are u telling us this?'' BECAUSE YOU ARE MY PARENTS. AND I AM TRYING TO GET HELP. #i should've known better than to try tbh but like. its so hard to completely let go of every sliver of hope that they'll... be kind #like me saying i was feeling suicidal a few yrs ago just garnered a ''oh don't start this again. we're not doing this again.'' #and me admitting my own damn self to the psych ward just had her telling me ''i dont think you actually needed to go :/'' #mother dearest if it werent for the other fuckers in the brain (caused by you abusing me) then i would've been dead several times over #i am so fucking tired i am so sick of these ppl it is so incredibly painful and terrifying that this is supposed to be my family #this is the one support system i get in life. and it is no support system at all. i am fucked !! i am so unbelievably fucked!!! #i know other ppl make it thru but they are much stronger than me. i am lacking something that they all have lmao. i am cowardly and weak!!! #i have been trying so fucking hard to figure out how to like. make this work. how to survive in this society and its just. impossible #i think we're back to the clock ticking down as my bank account runs out #i cannot be employed and ppl keep telling me disability won't accept me so i am just. unanimously fucked over i suppose #i have two years !! two years until i run out of money!!! thats a lot of time!! to make all the art i want to make!! #i will make this work for these two years i will cope and make my art and disconnect and daydream through the intolerable parts #i will make these two years so good sdfjkl im gonna make it to the end of them #sorry this is all coming flooding out fsjdkl i've just tried so hard to be like. positive abt things and laugh abt things and be okay #im tired of trying to make it okay fdsjkl i am wallowing tonight i guess. boohoo poor little me fdsjkl i'll probably get over it soon #just need to like. let a little of the pressure leak out so i don't completely crack and do smth stupid #it will be okay !!! or as okay as it can be !!! this will be blocked out by tomorrow morning probably!! #or it'll have to be LMAO i have my silly old lady yarn group tomorrow and i need to be Normal for that #suicide tw #abuse tw #ed tw

[slocumjoe]

hey uhhh i went thru ur oc post history and u said gus set himself on fire?? pls context

I love this character because whenever someone asks about him I always have to take a deep breath and get comfortable and suck a breath in through my teeth. I treat him so poorly

More Gus lore, because that specific event is actually tied to the very first event that would fuck him up forever, so I can't really talk about it without going in depth.

This is explaining the core tenent of Augustijn's story, which is guilt and its dangers. Basically, where that constant guilt came from, and how it...turned out for him...

It turns out okay. Just...takes 200+ years, an apocalypse, a divorce, and his son dying! 🥳Yay🥳

Tw; Religious trauma, child abuse, suicide, drug use, cannibalism, mental illnesses, and yet another suicide attempt.

So, some background, Gus's mom, Emma, was a fanatic catholic and generally Bat Shit about religion. As you might imagine, this is the Direct Source of both Gus' questionable worldviews, traumas, and his biological inclination to uuuhhh bad Head Times.

Emma was raised mildly religious, but she...took to it too hard? Her family was not the cause of her obsession, Gus's grandparents and uncles/aunts over there actually cut her off at one point, because she was starting to worry them but reaching out led to her lashing out. So, they just...backed off. Emma herself was a simple, homebody woman, who wanted to be at home raising her kids, and tending her garden. She would have been this way even without the religious thing.

But Emma and her side of the family were prone to addiction, see? And religion became her point of fixation and obsession. This could have still been okay, if not for the church she went into. A catholic church in the Hague that was known by all for being kind of fucking out there, even by other hardcore Catholics. This was one she went into, and even her grandchild 240+ years later would feel the ripple of this decision.

Emma goes into church and gets gnarly ideas about how life works. Its a woman's duty to have kids and raise them, to be good to her husband and her house, to listen and obey her men. Sin is inevitable and everyone does it, only those that admit and accept punishment can get another chance at Paradise. God knows every action you take and he does not care for the context, he only cares about the action. There is no "well, but" under the Lord.

Emma has mental illness, some kind of depression and anxiety, so this Big Brother Watching And Judging fucked her up. Especially since her church, in particular, was physically abusive if you did not confess to anything during confession. They thought if you had nothing to confess, you were lying.

At this point, she's met and engaged to Theodore Reinier, a rich heir to a European manufacturing company. He's pretty, a gentleman, and best of all, rich, so she can have as big and luxurious a garden as she wants. She likes him. She does not love him. She's in her twenties and unmarried with no kids, and her poor family needs to be taken care of. So she marries him. Theodore is smart enough to see this for what it is, and kind enough to allow it. He lets his wife do her own thing and treats her as a friend, rather than a lover. She hates this, she wants to be a wife (she doesnt). She wants kids, he gives her one. Augustijn. This birth goes rough, and she's told no more children.

Theodore makes one rule; August goes to a different church, or he does not go at all. Theo really didn't like Emma's church and he certainly wasn't exposing his kid to that shit.

Emma pretends to agree and takes Gus to That Church. Theo doesn't attend, so he doesn't know this is happening until much later. Gus gets all the same nasty shit Emma does. Theo learns of this when he sees Gus covered in bruises from confession beatings. This puts a huge rift between him and Emma, and he pulls all the strings he can to have her church shut down.

Emma grows to resent and hate Theo and Augustijn for not being the perfect husband and child she deserves as a good, God fearing house wife. Augustijn is left to his nannies, Emma hides away in her private garden, fuming. Theodore tries to bond with his son, but Emma's poisoned that well.

Emma tells Augustijn about demons, to fear them. She specifically tells him about church grims, demons that hunt around churches in the form of a dog to drag sinners to hell. She says this as she's admiring her new obsidian dog statues for her garden.

Eventually, Emma goes yellow wallpaper and loses her mind, and is sent to therapy and put on medications. Augustijn loathes his father for his mother's state. Theodore just wants his friend and son okay. But Emma, as she's out in town, coming back from therapy, she stops at a friend's house while the friend isn't there, and hooks up with the woman's husband. Friend's husband was stern, strict with his wife, God fearing, and generally an obnoxious 50s ideal shithead husband. Everything Emma wanted. This wasn't out of nowhere, it was brewing in the background. She knew both of them from her old church.

Emma goes home, and finally having a reason for the guilt that's always plagued her, elects to acknowledge her sin. She drowns herself in the pond of her garden, stared down by three dark, ruby-eyed dogs, overseeing her passage into the afterlife. Her young son comes into the garden to meet his mother, after she's been gone all day, only to find her in a red pool. He looks up into the eyes of the dogs. He remembers nothing of this incident, blocking it out and having been too young to understand.

Years pass, and Augustijn turns to drugs as well, though his come from the darkest parts of the Hague, rather than a doctor. He turns to sex, to crime, to anything he thinks will either corrupt him so much he doesn't care, or will finally make his guilt feel justified. He wears his mother's cross necklace through it all, and sees her beloved dog with every sin.

Augustijn goes to America for college, to Harvard, studying to become a pastor himself. (This is maybe the most terrifying part of him, the fact that he almost got it). But he doesn't feel satisfied with it, has a moment of clarity and realizes he isn't fit to preach anything. The grim certainly doesn't think so. He instead follows his only friend, Isadora, into the military. The US government allowing their soldiers to do chems means his failed drug tests don't matter.

Augustijn becomes a sniper. He has always hurt people, excelled in it, but taking life frightens him, because he knows he has no right to decide who lives or dies, not like this. But he's in China, and he's told to kill. He does, and he's very good at it. His teammates marvel at just how scrappy and determined he is, like a weed, a mold.

The Biandukou Pass Incident occurs. He eats his entire team, trapped in a Chinese mountain range during a blizzard.

Delirious from almost two months of surviving on nothing but psycho and human flesh, Augustijn is let loose back into Boston, honorably discharged. His lingering hallucinations from his Daytripper addiction, mixed with psycho withdrawal, trauma, guilt, shame, the fear of God—everything culminates. He looks up and sees the figure that has haunted him since that one, awful day; the church grim, staring expectantly.

His mother drowned herself, so he thought it fitting if he set himself ablaze.

#ss; alter #I hate to put a word to his specific illness because you always get people like 'this isnt what i think this is like so pls die' #but i imagine he'd be diagnosed with hppd #hallucinogen persisting perception disorder. basically lingering effects of hallucinogenics after use #the point of emma is that she did not ever see past the shit #Augustijn gradually learns how to reject his guilt and view himself objectively #and comes to see how he was hurt and how he hurt others. and accepts that he has a right to feel hurt but an obligation to be better #emma doesnt. she never would have even if she survived her attempt #its like. you only feel guilt because its a concept put into you #and emma taught him guilt. always feel dirty and shameful. #but. she didnt feel guilty. not really. she was confident in all of her actions and never once hesistated #she thought it was guilt just because she knew how it would look to other people. thats not guilt thats awareness. #she wasnt guilty she feared repercussions. #meanwhile her son grew up always ashamed and horrified at himself and was desperate for any kind of comeuppance #not to make it okay because he knew it wouldn't. but because he deserved it #accountability and justice are also big concepts in gus' character. the idea that someone becoming better and earnestly doing it #is better and more worthwhile than them suffering for their actions. this comes up with the Institute and Isadora #anyway if any of you come at me bitching about portaying a woman as abusive im biting #'joe no one does fhat' they literally do. its happened to me before. yall say you support womens wrongs until theyre abusive moms #anyway. fun fact; being beaten during confessions is why gus cant admit when hes done wrong for like 30 years. its a trauma/trigger #gus really is just. 'how do i process what happened to me without losing my mind' #and he lost his mind. but he does everything he can to find it again. because he doesnt want to feel this way anymore

[scorchedhearth]

would love to hear more about how you understand andromache’s views on their own gender!! noticed you used they/them pronouns for andy :))

oh, thank you :> short answer is: they're MY fav so i get to project and live through the fictional character <3

long answer: i think andy's relationship with gender is both incredibly complex and really easy. not to get into history and queer history too much but historically gender has been much more complex than the modern and western binary we have now, so it makes sense for me to have andy, a character older than written language and alphabet, have a hard time fitting into the two neat boxes we have nowadays. i think andy has navigated through so many cultures and so many periods where the cultural understanding of gender, of what's feminine and what's masculine and what other options there are in between, can change drastically that their own understanding of gender will reflect that. can't say your own identity is x fixed thing when you've witnessed 4 different cultures in the same decade that have 4 completely different and opposite answers to what it means, where attitudes and expectations of individuals shift accordingly. if doing and feeling these things make you masculine in one but will be understood as being feminine in the other then what does it mean about you? this will lead to questions and self-reflection on your identity. even read with our modern/western standard, andy has both feminine and masculine traits, they fight and are rough and quite cold at times, the designated protector of the other immortals, their leader and boss, but they're also caring, open with their love and feelings, shown having roles and careers other than plain fighting, they're also the mother of multiple children in canon, and it makes me think that their understanding of their self would reflect that, reflect this lack of strictly defined gender

and without this historical and cultural aspect, without these outside inputs, i think andy would feel disconnected and out of touch with others, i think even in their first life there already was this feeling of otherness, of not fitting in so well and wanting to be something else. the way i see the character, and how i think they see themselves, is being in this constant state of in between, not being able to settle down fully in one thing despite trying hard to belong because of the immortality and their long, long life and long, long memory but also something that was there since the beginning, an existence outside the defined codes. which leads me to the easy part i mentioned: andy is andy. they may change names, change centuries and continents but, just like their mother's axe and just like the ship of theseus, andy is andy, and yes they are an anomaly but also terribly human, and it's an easy understanding they have now. others' perceptions of me will always change but i am certain in who i am and what i am. so while they'll use gendered terms in canon and call themselves mother and woman but also for various purposes use masculine ones like passing as a man for some missions, etc. and they are comfortable in navigating these gender and cultural norms, putting them on like clothes and shifting according to what's needed at the moment from them; deep down they see their person as detached from it, existing beyond, constantly shifting and at the same solid in its foundation.

and to me, using neutral pronouns is the easiest shortcut to try and get across these feelings and complex relationships with their gender

#and also andy was the first character i wrote using neutral pronouns and i swear it soothed something in me to read a piece i wrote with #my own hands about a nonbinary character. it felt validating like admitting and accepting something about myself #so its also something very personal im doing when i trans characters like that. self healing or something #tags are for being painfully honest the post is for the in-depth analysis <3 #asks #sapphic wu san #thank you so much for asking <3 feel free to tell me what you think about it!! would love to talk some more about this topic #tog #andromache the scythian

[aloverslonging]

she’s got a boyfriend she’s had since 2019 and she may not even like other genders other than males, so i don’t expect the feelings to be returned nor expect anything from her nor do i plan to say anything, but i sigh thinking about her bc she’s very cute lol

#tfw you have a work crush. #not the best thing to have LOL work crushes dont generally work out Anyway #and #these arent just the feelings i experience abt her i def have romantic feelings #but its always uplifting to see her in the midst of the chaos that is working retail #and while we work separate jobs - she’s online shopping i do stocking shelves #its just a relief to talk to her. she’s a breath of fresh air and even when we’re both frustratedbwith work #she’s always saying hi in such a genuine chipper and welcoming way haha #and when i shared the treats i made with her today as i was sharing them with other coworkers #and asked her if she’d be interested in trying any #as soon as i brought them to her she popped one in her mouth and gave compliments about it lol #but the way she grabbed one and quickly had at it was very funny and endearing/cute #and the compliments were sweet #i never expect anything to happen with this crush but hey. feelings of a crush always bring me just a little bit of joy at least #so im content to just admire! #which i usually do with crushes anyway because i have a hard time admitting feelings/confessing a crush #rejection is hard on me even though i accept & expect feelings to be unrequited #so i tend to admire til someone else makes the first step #but anyway. im just happy she exists. shes very sweet and i wish good things for her #maybe one day ill at least muster up the courage to ask if she wants to hang out outside of work or if she’d like to play a game together #sometime #i know she at least plays stardew so i think id be able to ask that #or lead into asking what other games she likes #ANYWAY. #i probably wont make another post specifically about her like this #even rbs will probably just be general vibes i like to post her #here #but in case i do #myosotis tag.

[postalplants]

Anybody else wanna laugh with me about the fact that the very night that we got to the new house, they both looked us in the eye and told us that for a year (of the year and a half that we'd been living with them) that they regretted saving us from our abusers because we were so physically and mentally ill.

#vent #karkat tag #i surface for the first time since middle school and get so pissed about our life that i just vague post #about every shitty thing thats been said or done to us in the past two years. #does it fix anything? no but it makes me feel better. #and since i cant tell them that all of this still hurts without them getting pissed & basically saying that i deserved it #i will vague post on my fucking tumblr account. #maybe talk to me and accept the fact that all i want is for you to admit that it was fucked up and it hurt me. #not explain how it was justified because i understand how its justified to you and i dont think youre bad #for having a justification for what you did. i hurt you too and ive owned up to it and apologized for it #ive apologized for shit that i couldnt even change if i wanted to. ive found out that you lied to me over and over to try to #preserve my feelings when all i actually wanted was honesty which i told you over and over and i CONTINUE to tell you but still #dont receive. unfortunately. #my communication skills have actually improved so much and i HAVE matured so much. im still only 20 but i HAVE grown. #you just dont see it because you bite me when i try to show you. which fucking hurts. #and here i am rambling and rambling in the tags w all the shit i want to say to them but cant because they wont listen. but. hey. #gotta get it out some how.

[peachdeluxe]

A lot of you on here feel waaay too comfortable admitting that you don't and refuse to listen to rap music, and I'm not loving the incredibly reductive takes on rap because the kendrick/drake beef has it on some of yall's radar for the first time in your life.

I'm not going to sugar coat it-- for americans especially, if you consider music a significant interest of yours but still feel the need to search for acceptable reasons to keep yourself ignorant of black music, or think of rap as a monolith of hate and violence and not equally as diverse as any other genre, or can only name nonblack rappers… you should be embarrassed of that. And your embarrassment should not keep you from being active about exposing yourself to unfamiliar art and broadening what you listen to.

'I don't understand what they're saying/they rap too quickly' I'm surprised by how much I keep seeing this-- speed is not a stylistic trademark of most rap music, & clearer diction as a performer is much more necessary in rap than other genres?? Statistically rap has a lower bpm (here's an example of one person's study) average than other genres. (of course these aren't all-encompassing, but you can look into this yourself using sites like bpmdatabase.com.) Do you really feel overwhelmed by speed listening to Kendrick or Biggie or Nas or 2Pac, or have you never actually listened to their songs?

'I have to look up the lyrics'-- so what? is it a bad thing to take an extra few seconds to engage with an artist's work? If you listen to lyrical music, do you care when it's the artists you listen to? Why does the thoughtful art consumption everyone talks about not also apply to black art?

'there is too much violence and misogyny and commercialism' this is not unique to rap, or true of all rap music. Artists exist that talk about other things, the way they exist in all genres. There is an entire wikipedia page listing alternative hip hop musicians and rappers if you consider seeking it out too much labor. Click one!

'i find it unrelatable'-- who cares? Being unable to engage with art you don't find wholly relatable is a deeply childish and self centered way to exist. You get on here reblogging feel good navel-gazey posts about the shared human experience and caring for one another, but a rapper talking about living with violence or poverty is stretching the limits of what you can imagine or empathize with too much for you to care about it? You don't find that embarrassing to admit to?

You don't have to love rap, you don't have to incorporate it into what you listen to every day, but a lot of you need to be aware you're parroting reagan era anti-rap (& antiblack) pearl-clutching talking points, and it's a very ugly look. It isn't racist if your favorite genre isn't rap, but you need to do some serious self reflection if you consider it inherently less artistic, intelligent or positive than 'whiter' genres when you don't actually listen to it. I am looking at you, people into other counterculture genres-- it's crazy how much I see this from self-professed punks and metalheads especially lmfao. If expression, counterculture art, anti-censorship in music and the right for raw and unfiltered music to exist matters to you as much as you say you do, you should care about rap's relationship to censorship & fight for its legitimacy just as much as what you listen to.

#i dont like personal posting on tumblr in general but i do not like the vibe on here lately #edited cause i did misread the way the second graph was presented #point about speed still stands

[lady-lessobian]

.

#some people need to accept that not every bit of queer discourse or whatever is just terf vs non terf #like a terf is a very specific kind of bigot with a very specific target #and not a bunch of shit has happened and yall have forced a trans woman who wanted to live stealth #which is understandable because of the way trans women are treated here #to out herself. because she didnt want to be your quote unquote sister when you have a loud and proud incest kink #and youre saying shit like 'im never not thinking about incest its a way of life' #and getting anons who are into it and saying how they want to f their brother but are scared to #or admitting understanding an incestuous relation with yout DAUGHTER #this isnt a kink bad thing #ugh its just infuriating #delete later

[selineram3421]

*deep breath* Ok, someone found a loophole. Requested through messages.

Aftercare Headcanons

Alastor/Angel/Husk X Reader

Warning! ⚠

⚠ suggestive/implied, implied nudity, fluff, implied biting/scratching/bruising, consent ⚠

So after your...ahem..activities, this is what the boys do.

Alastor🎙

Of course he's going to treat you like a God after something so tiring. Only the best of the best for his significant other.

Everything is taken care of. Don't you dare try to lift a finger.

Can you? I mean *cough cough*

Has the bath prepared with rose petals and candles, water at the perfect temperature. He does join you.

Towels and robes folded on the counter nearby the hygiene products.

His shadows take care of cleaning up the bed and changing the sheets.

Will sometimes apologize about the marks left on your skin. Depends.. He does like some of them.

Sometimes he'll add more

Expect a lot of cuddles and kisses while you are being taken care of in the water.

And some sweet talking.

"Tu as goûté devine ma chéri/e~" (You tasted devine my darling~)

Want a massage? Of course.

Food or drinks? Already taken care of.

Once you're ready to get out of the bath, don't bother on getting up. He'll pick you up and dry you himself.

Once in your towel or robe, he'll carry you back to the now clean bed and make sure you're comfortable.

He'll dress you up too if you asked.

If not then he'll bring you your clothes, kissing you on the forehead once you have them in your hands.

No? Nothing at all?

Now you're tempting him.

"Be careful darling."

Won't do anything unless you want to.

He'll hold you close as you sleep.

Extra

Angel🕸

He'll have everything set up for you to take care of each other on the days he's not exhausted from work. Sometimes its a last minute thing.

Wipes or rags are on the nightstand. Along with some other things like a water bottle and easy snacks.

There's a towel on the bed so you don't have to switch the sheets.

He'll clean you up with those first or will scoop you up to the bathroom. Or maybe you scoop him up?

Gets the bath or shower ready while you make sure to get the face masks and robes/towels out.

Expect kisses and tickles while helping each other clean off.

Aw

Once out of the water, both of you put on your robes/towels and get the face masks.

"Fuck babe, you left marks.", he'll say after checking himself in the mirror. "Can you make more?"

You help him dry off as best as you can, giving him kisses as you go.

He might take the kissing up a notch and turn it into a make out session...

Or more

Then its face masks time!

After that, you both get ready to cuddle up in bed and watch t.v.

Fat Nuggets joins the two of you and makes themselves comfortable under one of the blankets.

Pig in a blanket

Helps you take off your face mask when noticing you getting sleepy.

Will kiss you goodnight and spoon you/or be the little spoon.

Husk🃏

He'll do what he can for you. He won't admit it but he went to Angel for some advice and bought whatever he needed to make sure you were taken care of.

He'll help you clean off before offering the shower.

A little awkward because he has not done something like this in a long time. Will start the water if you asked/or teach you how to work the water.

Is a little shy if you ask him to join you.

"You won't like the wet cat look."

He'll go get drinks and snacks if he doesn't join you. If he does join, then he'll call room service beforehand.

Expect kisses and gentle touches while in the water.

Notices that he did leave some marks.

Cat pupils go =◽^◽= > =⬜^⬜=

Let's you out first because he'll get embarrassed if you see his fur puff up after drying off.

Or you do see it and it makes you smile.

When he gets out, he sees that you've taken care of the bed sheets and opened a bottle.

Accepts the cup you offer him and sits next to you.

Feed each other snacks, maybe share a few more kisses. Might turn into a make out..

"I had a good time."

Falls asleep first while holding you and purrs.

*screams into pillow*

~Seline, the person.

Taglist@

@c4rved-pumpk1n @stolas-thebirb @ducky-died-inside @scary-noodlesblog @naelys-the-aster @willowaudreykeyes @biromanticboba @kiraisastay @lbcreations-blog @+?

MLS Alastor, Angel, Husk

#alastor x reader #angel dust x reader #husk x reader #gn reader #x reader #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor the radio demon #the radio demon #husk hazbin hotel #hazbin husk #hazbin hotel husk #husk hazbin #angel dust hazbin hotel #hazbin angel dust #hazbin hotel #fanfic #angel dust hazbin #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel headcanon #headcanons #suggestive #implied #sugar and spice

[rayroseu]

OH SO IT WASNT ENOUGH TO DO IT ON PRE-GROOVY HE HAS TO DO IT ON HIS GROOVIFIED VERSION TOO AJFIWOFIOWJ!!!!!

HIS POSE IS LIKE MALLEUS ON HIS NORMAL SPRITE.... IM SOBBING AT THE MUSEUM SILVER ‼️‼️‼️😭😭😭🤍🤍🤍🤍

Never beating the Malleus' brother allegations, I think at this point he's just blatantly admitting it JDJKAJFJW !!

The profound contrast between Silver's love for Malleus and Lilia when almost the entirety of his "true nation" hated them, will always make me crash LILIA'S SON AND MALLEUS' BROTHER IS GROWING UP WELL 😭😭😭✨✨‼️‼️‼️

But isnt this a great card that showcases he's truly a "child of peace"?? The 3 good fairies spell on him was that he'll wake up on an era pf peace (and ofc when he meets someone that truly loves him), He is someone that carries "the face of Silver Owls (Knight of Dawn)" but his actions pays tribute to Briar Valley (to Malleus)

MIND YOU that this pose is almost exclusively to Malleus only yet they made Silver do it !! 😭😭JDJAJDJ And yk whats more profound about this pose is that in Silver's case.... his hand placed on the left side where the heart is KEJQKJRKWS !!!! Ohhh he's truly accepted that it can't be changed that hes from Silver Owls but he can always dedicate his actions to the ones that cares for him despite that (Lilia and I know Malleus as well (even if he finds out the truth(copium)💥💥💥)

AND I KNEW THAT OUTIFT SUITED HIM!!!! DO YOU SEE HOW SILVERS HAIR BLENDS SO WELL WITH THAT SUIT!!! LITERAL EYE CANDY, HE'S LIKE AN ANGEL HERE WITH HOW GLARING THE LIGHT SOURCE IS BUT ITS NOT A DEMURE TYPE OF ANGELIC LOOK, ITS A KNIGHTLY ONE!!! 🥲🥲💕💞✨✨✨

KFJQJRJW THIS IS PROBABLY MY FAVORITE PLATINUM CARD PLEASE... 😭🤍✨✨

Edit: Also PAUSEEE THE BOOK 7 FORESHADOW THIS CARD EXUDESSSSS SILVER CQLM DOWN AJFJAJE

The Knight of Dawn doomed to fight the Evil Princess.....

The Knight of Dreams doomed to fight the King of the Abyss

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭BUT BUT TRUE LOVE WILL END THE CYCLE RIGHT RIGHT... WJUTIQ😭😭😭😭

source

#twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twistedwonderland #malleus draconia #disney twst #twst malleus #lilia vanrouge #twst silver #twst silver vanrouge #silver vanrouge #twst jp #twst wonderland #twst card #twst birthday #twst headcanons #twst diasomnia #twst analysis #lian notes #LILIA AND MALLEUS PLEASEEEEE GO HUG SILVER ALREADYYY IM SCREAMING FROM THE TOP OF MY LUS AGDA #Silver saw us Malleus and Lilia nation being starved from the Book 7 update and FUCKING DELIVERED 😭😭😭 I COULDASK FOR MORE QOIEIQIRUW 🤍🤍

[tojirights]

❛ you taste like heaven. ❜

Alastor with angel!reader omg. I imagine that reader was Alastor's wife back when they were alive, but didn't see eachother again after death because Alastor is in hell and reader is in heaven. I imagine that after Sir Pentious got redeemed, Sera sent reader (because she has experience with demons(? Ur choice) and Sera trusts her a lot) down to hell to investigate this 'hazbin hotel'.

a/n: AHHHH i almost didnt want to write smut into this because it was so precious 😭 ooc alastor again but its so CUTE. i added my "alastor speaks french" agenda to this as well lol.

buy me a coffee? 😇

tags: 18+ smut nsfw, fem! receiving oral

heaven was in shambles after the last extermination, no one knew what would happen next now that souls could be redeemed from hell. it was then that sera approached you in private, all but begging you to go be an "ambassador." you were hesistant at first, not only thinking that this was a lot of responsibility, but also that your... husband had to be down there. he wasn't a "good man" after all, but your heart still fluttered at the thought of seeing him once more. with a sigh, you accept sera's plea and prepare for your trip down to the hazbin hotel.

there to greet you, was charlie morningstar herself, bright eyed and bubbly just like you heard all about. she leads you into the foyer of the hotel before you stop dead in your tracks. charlie is still speaking a mile a minute in your ear, trying to welcome you as best she can, but you're not listening. your eyes meet alastor's, immediately recognizing him even in this new form of his. and when his smile almost fades, you know he recognizes you too.

there's another brief pause before you're running towards him, your wings unfurling on their own as you're quickly wrapped up in his embrace. the other inhabitants of the hotel watch, confused, seeing as alastor hasn't really let anyone but niffty get close enough to touch him, let alone embrace him. your wings fluff up and cover your faces as you lean up to kiss your estranged partner. "oohh, sweetheart.." he sighs against your lips. "its been..."

you smile between kisses, your heart racing in your chest. "too long." you finish his sentence, earning a chuckle from the demon. his lips kiss a trail to your ear, a low growl to his voice as he whispers to you. "you taste like heaven, darling." your cheeks go red, not quite prepared for such a comment, especially in front of company. "alastor!" you hiss, hitting his chest gently but he just pulls you closer in response.

finally, he addresses the group behind you who are all standing with their jaws hanging open. "now, if you're all done gawking, i believe my wife needs to be shown around..."

husk spits out his drink as alastor speaks, covering angel in alcohol. "your WHAT!?" you hide your face as calamity ensues, everyone trying to speak over eachother at the insane news. "your wife... is an angel?" charlie asks gently, trying to get to the bottom of this. "well, i couldn't have known for sure but she was always more a saint than i." alastor hums, running his hand down your back. you shudder when he touches your wings, to which he notes in his head for later.

"o-oh! well then! i guess you should show her around, yeah?" she smiles bashfully, still taken aback by everything happening since your arrival just a few minutes ago. you look up at alastor, your cheeks aching from smiling so wide. "i think i'd like that." you whisper to him, enjoying the way he pulls you closer to him. "hold on tight then, my love."

you're not sure what he means by that until you're slipping into the shadows with him. its an odd feeling, but you don't think much of it until you're reappearing in what you assume is his bedroom. alastor is careful with you, like he's afraid the wrong touch will burn you, but he craves the feeling of your bare skin against his hands more than he can admit. you smile, reaching your hands up to cup his face. "touch me, al. i'm not fragile..."

your words light a spark deep within him, forcing him to restrain himself from ripping your pretty clothes into tatters. he groans inwardly, large hands reaching around to pick you up before fumbling his way to the bed. "corrupting an angel wasn't on my bucket list until seeing you again, my dear." his tone, its not what you're used to hearing, but that gravelly undertone shoots straight through you. "oh please, you can't corrupt me more than you already have." alastor's lips find the sensitive skin of your neck and you feel him smirk.

"i hope that's not a challenge." he tests, tugging at the hem of your dress. you all but giggle, lifting up so alastor can free your body of clothes. "and what if is it?" you challenge, knowing full well that alastor wouldn't let your teasing continue without proper punishment. his eyes darken red, and there's a tinge of fear in your gut. because this may still be alastor, but its been quite a while, you don't know how he's changed.

but as he kisses down your stomach, you're reassured that the man you married is still there somewhere, underneath this 'radio demon' persona. "your lips tasted of heaven, mon amour, does this taste so sweet as well?" alastor's words alone are enough are enough to make you whimper, then the feeling of his hot breath against your clothed cunt makes your core pulse.

your hands naturally fall to the top of his head, feeling the softness of his ears and the rough points of his antlers. "c-can i..?" you start, timidly holding onto the horns. alastor's body shudders as he shoves his face into your thigh. "yes, ma chérie. please do." he breathes, tugging on the thin fabric of your panties until they rip in half.

alastor wants to be patient, wants to treat you like the angel you are, but he is a demon after all. and he hasn't gotten such a delicious meal in far too long. after he feels your grip tighten on his antlers, he lets loose his self control. his first taste of your sweet pussy sends him into a frenzy, eating you like a man starving. his tongue swipes up your slit before circling your clit in quick flicks. your legs are shaking already, breathy moans leaving your lips with reckless abandon.

there's a part of you that is concerned to be getting your cunt ate by a demon, but this demon was your husband, after all. sera made you come down here and you might as well enjoy yourself, right?

your hips arch up, craving more and more, and alastor is happy to oblige. "this is heaven, my dear. not some palace in the sky, but here, between your legs." your eyes well with tears, overwhelmed in more ways than one. every pass of his tongue has your release teetering on the edge while his sweet words make your heart flutter. its almost too much, and when alastor sucks on your clit, your walls burst.

"a-alastor i'm..." you mewl, every nerve on your body screaming as your orgasm rolls over you. you're almost sure you're hurting him by how hard you tug at his hair, but alastor doesn't stop. the intensity is something you've not experienced in many, many years, and the tears stream down your cheeks. alastor coaxes you through it, licking slow and soft circles around your sensitive bud until your shaking stops.

he's quick to climb up, wiping the tears from your puffy eyes. "such a good girl, mon amour. there's plenty more where that came from."

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[rineptune]

hello! can i get a lucifer x fallen angel!reader, that is maybe seen as another parental figure for charlie, and there’s some jealousy from luci in the beginning before he realizes how much care reader has towards charlie? if that makes sense?

hell’s greatest parent.

summary: in which charlie thinks of you as a parent figure and once again lucifer’s genuinely distraught and scared that his one and only daughter would no longer need him.

a/n: he’s jus a little insecure, but lucifer’s doing his best and that’s what matters!!

lucifer could feel it. an irritated, uptight smile threatening to make itself known in his face.

“what was that, kiddo?” lucifer asks charlie.

“yn’s going to teach me how to make pancakes!” charlie answers. “it’s a great bonding activity that enhances familial relationships. they told me all about how pancakes made in heaven are soo different from the ones made here— i just had to ask if they could teach me!”

“she’s quite the persistent lady, your highness,” you chuckle. “i’m assuming she got that from you?”

“...yes,” he grumbles, straightening his posture. “but, charlie! why didn’t you just call me? no offense, but i make out-of-this-hell pancakes, too!”

“because, dad! you weren’t awake yet, and i wanted to surprise everyone here in the hotel with heaven’s recipe for a devilishly delicious breakfast,” she preened, hands clasped together. stars are shimmering in her eyes, possibly a candidate to outshimmer the pentagram in the skies.

lucifer sighs, defeated. “oh, alright... but i’ll watch.”

“ok! this could be a refresher memory for you,” she beams. “what first, yn?”

“well, to start, we need to wear our aprons.”

you held up one for charlie, the fabric littered with small red hearts for its pattern, which she gingerly took with delighted awe. you also offered one to lucifer, but instead of accepting what you had brought with you, he simply snapped his fingers, and with what’s left of his angelic magic, he conjured one of his own, which he wore with a smug grin.

“how efficient.”

“heh, i could do a lot more than that,” he proudly says.

“i would never doubt it, your highness.”

your indifference to lucifer’s (perfectly wrapped under the radar) jealousy is just perfect. not only did he deal with the radio demon, who had the balls to even duel him in a sing-off—now he had to win a cooking contest, too?

it’s crazy!

crazy if he doesn’t participate in it and properly show you why he’s the boss!

“and careful to put the batter, charlie,” you guide her hand to pour the batter onto the heated pan.

“whoa—.. i did it!” she cheers.

“good job, sweetie,” he tells her.

lucifer is on charlie’s left, observing how his daughter works herself around the kitchen. he had to admit, you were a pretty good teacher; that even he learned a thing or two about making pancakes.

would you look at that?

lucifer learning new things that he already thought he knew.

“now, what would you want to go with your breakfast, charlie?” you ask.

“there’s bloodied-sweet syrup, mini fresh eyeballs that a friend of alastor brought in earlier; oh— ah, here it is,” you pulled out maple and strawberry syrup along with some butter and fruits— actual fresh fruits that you managed to smuggle in your bag before the fall.

“what?! they actually have maple syrup, and not stale-oak sap?”

“yes, they do,” you chuckle. “would you like to try them?”

“do i? i’m so happy to!”

lucifer sits at the end of the table as charlie decorates her pancakes with the toppings and condiments of her liking. a smile is seen on his face.

he remembers the time when it used to be like this, simple and sweet. how times have gone by, really.

“pancakes?”

your offer brought him out of his trance of thought. a breakfast shaped into one of his favorite things in the world.

a duck with a little apple slice on its head.

“thank you, though you didn’t have to go through the trouble of...” lucifer’s absolutely speechless, and if it weren’t for the façade he has on, you bet your wings he would’ve been jumping up and down in joy. “serving it in this shape.”

“it’s no trouble at all, really.” you smiled.

and holy hell does that smile ease his worries.

“dad, oh my gosh! thesh are twe besht pancwakes, ever! like, weally—the absholoo best!” charlie says, words somewhat audible because she had her mouth full.

“charlie, dear, don’t talk while your mouth is full; otherwise you’ll choke,” you sigh, yet there was a smile on your lips, taking initiative to wipe away the excess syrup on the corner of her mouth with a damp cloth.

charlie giggles sheepishly, nodding.

“than’ weu!”

the realization sets in when lucifer sees this. that you actually care for charlie and are not there to replace him totally. he’s reassured, and happy as he finally takes a bite of his warm, delicious breakfast.

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