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mitsies · 1 year

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sick days ; satoru gojo

when 8-year-old megumi falls sick, you and your co-parent / maybe-boyfriend go down a rabbit hole.

gojo satoru x gn reader fluff, child-rearing, confessions, mutual pining (reader & gojo are school friends in their early 20s!)

'regret' was a word you have exiled out of your vocabulary.

it was a part of being a new (unwilling) parent to 2 overly intelligent kids, you supposed; you couldn't regret things.

'regret' was a word that would eat away at their little kid brains and latch on to the wormholes of insecurity in their heads, stretching them out and out into big voids that would probably take over their short, sweet lives. (it was like saying you regret anything would instantly equate to you regretting taking them in, and you couldn't have that.)

generally, your journey navigating the raising of toji fushiguro's children after his death wasn't difficult save for the obvious mental health issues he'd inflicted on his young kids. (you hadn't known the extent of it until megumi pretended he wasn't crying when you forgot to pick him up from school once. it was a real eye-opener.)

but it wasn't like you needed to establish authority. megumi and tsumiki generally followed your word and looked up to you- there were no issues there.

the real root of the problems was your silver-tongued and stupid-looking accomplice, gojo satoru.

you'd never regret taking tsumiki and megumi in. you'd never regret the actions you'd allowed gojo to take against their father. the only thing in the world you really did regret was giving gojo satoru your spare house key.

"who wants cake?"

you return from picking up megumi and tsumiki from school to a kitchen that seemed like it'd been through many small explosions. the smell of smoke hung faintly in the air. gojo loomed behind the counter like a bad omen and you scooted the children behind you warily.

"satoru," you began as if you were scolding a petulant and sulking child, "what are you doing in my house again?"

yes, again. because this was the 3rd day in a row gojo had blown off his missions and all his deep, deep piles of shit at jujutsu high to deal with to come harass you.

"why do you look so upset to see me!" gojo whines as his posture drops dramatically. he feigns a sigh with a hand over his heart. in doing this, he drops the skillet (why does he have a skillet when he's making a cake?) on his toe.

instantly, a stream of firey profanities and angry curses spews from his mouth as he hops around clutching his foot. tsumiki covers megumi's ears. he can still hear everything.

"satoru," you hiss, "not in front of the fucking kids, dude."

the tall man rises back up and shrugs, nonchalantly trying to pretend he hadn't basically been rolling around crying a second before.

despite this being a regular tri-weekly occurrence at this point, you still berate gojo. and by berate him, you just curse him out. megumi and tsumiki shuffle out from behind you with their schoolbags, and gojo beckons them toward the kitchen and to him.

"you're so irresponsible, you dumbass!" gojo places a piece of sweet red velvet cake onto a paper plate for tsumiki. he nods to you sweetly, as if encouraging you to keep going.

"why are you always here, burning down my house, when you have mountains of paperwork to do back at the school? you are a grown-ass man child." another slice is served to megumi.

"you need to get out. now." megumi and tsumiki scurry off to their rooms. gojo has emerged from the kitchen now, and he's nodding encouragingly. he's got an apron on and his sunglasses are shoved in his hair and he looks so strangely domestic that you don't bat an eye at first when he comes behind you and massages your shoulders.

"let it out," he says, and you sigh because his hands really do work through the knots in your back, and jesus christ, is there anything he's not good at?

hold on. just what is he doing?

you flip your hand back, effectively smacking him in the face as you storm into your kitchen and start angry-cleaning. you'd like to curse him out some more but you're so embarrassed and flushed and you know gojo well enough to be certain that he'd notice if you spoke.

"let me help you clean." you don't protest as he starts picking up his own mess alongside you, and there it is again: that familiar premonition, that tick in your chest, and that honey-sweet scent you've grown to call in your mind the 'gojo-sense' because it was a sensation you've only observed around him before.

you've known gojo satoru since day 1 of your schooling at jujutsu technical college, and you've known him every day since then, much to your discretion. unfortunately for you, he was one of your closest friends- so close, in fact, that he'd so kindly offered megumi and tsumiki to you after he found (kidnapped???) them post-toji's death.

(you're pretty sure megumi and tsumiki hadn't been kidnapped. you've grown close to them in the year-ish you've been raising them and you think they'd tell you if they were. you think.)

in all your years of knowing gojo, you could count the times you've felt like you truly understood him on one hand. the count lies at 2.

the first time dates back to his very first time trying alcohol. it was almost the end of your 3rd year, and shoko had snagged a bottle to share with your little group.

you remember gojo being pensive about trying it, and trying to bluff his way out. and you remember the confession that followed, that he'd never tried it before. shoko and geto laughed. you don't remember if you did, too, but you remember gojo looking at you hesitantly before he took his first shot.

and then he almost threw up.

again, your other friends laughed and teased, but you were too caught by the question of 'why did he look at you' to bother.

it didn't help that, during this time, you had a major crush on him. it was gone now, though, you swear.

the second time you think you understood gojo satoru was the night of riko amanai's death. it had happened so fast. you remembered his smile and then you remembered his tears as he cried for the first time in front of you. you remember holding him, your best friend, and then you remember not being able to as infinity filtered between your fingers and blocked you from his skin.

that was the night that gojo satoru vowed to never let anyone through his walls again. you would not be an exception. but unfortunately for him, you were already in his secret garden.

so despite you thinking that gojo had closed you out of his inner world forever, he had a place for you all along. you just didn't know.

the two of you remained heavily ingrained in each other's worlds, despite this rift. you were a package deal, and more often than not gojo could only be found when you were nearby, much to your irritation- and much like right now.

"you still need to get out of my house," you grumbled, but with less drive. this is how it goes every day- gojo appears. you try to get him to leave. he does not. you give up. repeat.

"you gave me your key," he reminds, and you're not looking at him but you can hear his smile. "and i could get in without it, anyways. you can't really do much."

"thanks for informing me about how you're a master burglar. i should report you to the cops."

"as if i couldn't take the police," gojo scoffs. you almost smile.

"regardless of whether you could take the police or not," you say, waving a crusty whisk in his face, "you couldn't take me. so you'd better leave."

(you probably couldn't take gojo in a fight. not that he would ever hurt you but there is no competing with the strongest. but he always listens to you, just like he does at this moment.)

"okay, okay, fine," he relents. he finishes helping you clean and is gone in a blink with his stupid little teleportation ability, and you know you're the one who wanted him to leave but you can't help but feel a little empty now that he's gone.

you know he'll be back soon enough, though. and you're proven right because your phone buzzes with gojo's special ringtone and he's already informing you that he'll be home for dinner and to not finish the cake. this prompts you to glance over to the kitchen counter, where said cake was not there.

you blink, before concluding a ghost probably got it. weirder things have happened in your household. you do feel a little sympathy for the ghost's stomach, though- that amount of sugar would be enough to kill them again.

you shrug your shoulders before carrying on with your life, sitting on the living room couch with your laptop to type out a report about some bullshit you don't care about and how it'll affect sorcerers and whatnot.

it's not until you call megumi and tsumiki out of their rooms for dinner do you realize that it was, in fact, not a ghost that had eaten the cake.

tsumiki arrives at the dinner table first, ever-so-polite, helping you set up 4 places (the extra in case gojo made good of his word and dropped by to eat.)

megumi doesn't arrive until a few minutes later, just as you were about to go collect him from his room. he stumbles out of his door like he'd just fought 7 wars consecutively, his face paler than death and his 4-foot self shaking like a leaf in the wind.

he almost slams into you, with the way he staggers through the hallway to the kitchen. he doesn't meet your eyes as he apologizes profusely, flopping onto a chair like a fish.

almost instantly, the poor boy passes out face-first on the table. you and tsumiki exchange a worried look as you press the back of your hand to his forehead, only to feel that megumi was burning up.

"surprise! did you miss me?"

you shoot gojo a glare as he materializes in the kitchen a few feet away. at his loud and rather irritating voice, megumi usually would've woken, being a light sleeper- but the 8-year-old was still knocked out with his face on his plate like it was a pillow.

"satoru, no offense, but could you keep it down?" tsumiki, ever-the-saint and ever-so-helpful, inquired politely. "megumi's sleeping."

at this, gojo furrows his brow, turning his head to the sleeping child.

"oh."

you can almost see the cogs turning behind gojo's thick skull before he asks: "what's wrong with him?"

you blink at him. "connect the dots, dumbass."

tsumiki laughs awkwardly, quickly grabbing her plate of food before speedwalking away to her bedroom, calling out a quick, "i'll be in my room if you need anything!"

you sigh, unable to blame the poor girl. if you had a choice, you wouldn't want to deal with gojo either.

gojo turns back to you with raised brows. "our family is falling apart. our daughter is running away, and our son is dying."

"that wasn't funny in the slightest."

"i think it was."

you exhale, a half-smile forming on your face. "okay then, mr. comedian, could you help get megumi to his bed?"

gojo doesn't need more prompting. he's already carrying megumi like he weighs less than a feather, with a gentleness you often forget he has. you're even more surprised when you see that gojo's hand actually touching the fabric of the boy's clothes- his infinity is off.

you don't mention it, even though you're sure that gojo knows that you've noticed. you try to ignore the way your heart thunders as you watch from the kitchen as gojo carries megumi to his room, observing from afar as he tucks the boy into his sheets carefully and ruffles his hair. you try not to smile like a fool but you think you do a poor job of hiding it.

when gojo returns to the joint kitchen and living room of your apartment, he pulls himself onto the counter next to you to sit, ignoring the various seats at his disposal.

"well, he's sick."

you snort. "yeah, no kidding."

you're still watching megumi's bedroom door but you can feel gojo's gaze land on you, as it often does. "he'll be okay. don't worry about it too much."

a certain softness warms your heart and you release a breath you didn't know you were holding. "yeah. you're right. it's no big deal, he'll be fine."

megumi was not, in fact, fine.

at 6 in the morning, you feel a soft, incessant tapping on your arm. you stir groggily, only to hear a familiar child's voice- megumi's voice.

you sit up, rubbing your eyes as your vision adjusted. you realize you weren't in your bedroom- you were on the living room couch. and gojo satoru was curled up close behind you.

you'll deal with that later, though, because megumi looks like he's on the verge of tears. wordlessly, instantly, you put a hand on his back and kneel down to his eye level. you can see tears welling up in his eyes and concern burns your lungs.

"is everything okay?" your whisper is met by sniffles and you pull the boy into a hug, which he allows, burying his face in your sweatshirt sleeve.

"i'm sorry. i threw up and i don't feel good. sorry."

you might cry too, as you hold him close and rub his back.

"it's okay, don't apologize. i've got you."

at some point, megumi falls back asleep. you hold his sleeping form on your hip as you shake gojo awake. he grumbles and groans until you smack his arm and he stirs.

"what? is everything okay?"

you're almost impressed with how gojo instantly scopes out the situation- from the sleeping, sickly child at your side to your tired, worried expression.

"i have no idea what to do."

you're whispering but you don't have to be, as your guilty confession tumbles out. you're hardly 20 and your child who you got roped into raising is sick. you could hardly function properly yourself, and then you became a parent-ish, and then your kid got sick. to say you were stressed was an understatement.

gojo blinks. you think he understands the weight of your words because he stands swiftly, putting a gentle hand on your shoulder.

"i'm not sure either," he whispers back, "but we can figure it out."

the two of you devise a plan, consisting of googled remedies from mom blogs and random doctor's offices, and gojo's childhood experiences with getting sick.

while he cleaned megumi's room (a task you'd assigned him, seeing as you were already holding megumi and didn't want to wake him, and not because you just really didn't want to), you shuffled through your kitchen to riffle through cabinets and drawers, in search of flu medications, cough drops, or anything that might help.

ultimately, all you came up with were bandages, gauze, and iodine- the lifeblood of a jujutsu sorcerer. you sigh, fighting the urge to slam your head into the wall.

gojo shows up next to you, running a hand through his hair. you'd be flustered if you weren't so irate.

"nothing?"

"nope."

gojo sighs and you're reminded for a second about how scary this must be for him, too. he's only your age, and just as powerless as you. helplessness is not a feeling he must encounter often, so it must be particularly awful when it happens.

you almost feel bad for him, but then a playful grin cracks his face, and he pulls out jingling car keys from his sweatpant pockets.

you narrow your eyes. "oh, no. you are not driving anywhere, not at this time of day. it's still dark out."

gojo clicks his tongue and starts walking to the door. "i'm not driving. we are. think of it as... a road trip! i think i have some medication at my place."

you wave your hand in the air dismissively. "just.. teleport us there, or something? i'd rather die than drive with you again."

"i told you! i'm a good driver! i was just messing with you!"

"you crashed your car into a tree, satoru."

you startle yourself with your use of his first name, but you don't think he notices because he bounces right back.

"it was funny!"

you shake your head. "not happening."

"i can't teleport us."

"why not?"

gojo looks a little guilty at this. you soften. "i don't really trust myself with my abilities anymore. i don't know. it's kind of stupid."

"no, it's not stupid. i mean, i trust you," you try hesitantly, "but if you don't, we can drive."

you put aside your fears of gojo behind the wheel and you're glad you do because he looks at you in a way that makes you feel like the only person alive. "i'm a good driver. swear."

gojo is, to your surprise, not a horrible chauffeur. unlike the first time and last he drove you somewhere, there are no crashes or screaming or anything of the sort.

the streets are quiet with only the occasional car buzzing past. you don't think you've been to gojo's apartment. yours has been the go-to spot for whenever he or shoko would want company.

it's almost a calm ride, with gojo steering wordlessly and megumi snoring softly in the backseat. you're honestly impressed he hasn't woken up yet. you thrum your fingers against the dashboard, pulling one leg underneath you as you sat.

"we're here," gojo states. you glance at him drowsily from the corner of your eye, watching him leave the car and head to the backseat to retrieve megumi. your follow suit and leave the car, gazing up at the towering, swanky apartment building before you.

"this is so above my pay grade," you breathe, "are you sure they'll allow us commoners in here, my liege?"

gojo laughs softly, "no. you might have to wait out on the curb."

the building's lobby is a boring beige, with glass chandeliers providing a dim white light. it feels plasticky and stuffy and you're a little afraid to touch the elevator's buttons because you don't want to break them.

gojo's apartment is no better. the decor is minimalistic, and it hardly looks lived in. the only signs of life are the coffee mugs in the sinks and the jars of candies on top of the fridge.

his apartment might be big and high-end, but it feels so devoid of life, and you suddenly realize why gojo spends most of his time at your place.

it might be small and cluttered but it's warm, and cozy, and lived-in, and god knows that's what gojo needed. you can't imagine how isolated he must be in everyday life. your heart aches.

gojo sets megumi down on the couch with the gentleness of an angel, not that it was needed because in his current state, the boy could sleep through 12 nuclear explosions and then some.

wordlessly, gojo beckons you to follow him to a room situated at the end of the hallway. it's big and just as empty as the previous rooms, with only a dresser and a bed pushed into separate corners.

gojo rustles through the dresser drawers, presumably in search of medicine, but your gaze wanders to something else- the only real decor you've seen in the house.

there are two framed photographs sitting on top of his dresser. you take one in your hands, squinting to make out the image in the dark. you recognize it as yourself, laughing and looking behind the camera. geto and shoko are in the background, walking together on the pier.

you remember this day. it was the last mission of your first year at tokyo jujutsu high, and the four of you had decided to go out and get ice cream. it had begun to rain, but you hadn't cared. in the photo, your hair was clinging to your face but your smile was bright.

you remember the joy of that day more than anything. apparently, gojo did too, because he kept this photo despite it being years in the past.

the second frame contains a blurry photograph. you can't tell what it is at first, but after staring for a moment you realize: it's megumi, you, and tsumiki. megumi is younger in this somehow, despite the fact that it must have only been a few months ago. he's sprawled across your lap, and you just know that he would hate this picture.

tsumiki is sitting on the floor with you attentively, listening to you, as you show her something on your phone. she's smiling and looking at you with such reverence and admiration, and you feel a strange sort of pride.

you put the photo down and feel gojo staring at you. you turn to him, and he holds up a blue bottle- ibuprofen. "i get headaches."

you blink at him. "i like these pictures."

he smiles awkwardly. "yeah, me too."

and maybe it's the fact that it's encroaching on 7 in the morning, and you're delusional from the stress, and maybe this is a bad decision but you turn back to the pictures and smile and say, "i used to have a huge crush on you back in school. like, around when this picture was taken."

gojo doesn't react, staring at your hand as you point to the photo taken in high school. it's silent for a few moments before he speaks. "that's funny, y'know, because i liked you in this one."

you blink as he gestures to the recent photo. you laugh.

"you're so lame. how do you manage to always have the stupidest pick-up lines?"

you wait for gojo to laugh with you, but he keeps looking at you, and you cease your laughter.

"satoru? is everything okay?"

he takes a minuscule step closer and suddenly you're hyperaware of everything- your heartbeat, his face, your skin, you can feel it all.

"i wasn't joking," he says.

"oh."

you feel your heart thunder in your throat. gojo's eyes stare into yours and you look back into his and you have never been more lost for words than you are right now.

gojo takes your silence as a cue to continue.

"i liked you then, and that hasn't changed. you've been with me through basically everything. i don't know how to say this," he fumbles over his words now and you're reminded that you were only a teenager a few years ago, "but you make me feel less alone than i ever have."

if you were to speak at this moment, you wouldn't be sure what would come out of your mouth. so you place your hands on either side of gojo's face and plant a chaste kiss on his lips.

it's brief and easy, and it's over before gojo's fully processed what's happened.

but apparently, it was far, far too long because a little voice speaks from the doorway, sounding exasperated beyond his years. "can you guys figure this out later, i feel like i'm dying."

amused, you watch as gojo stumbles to the door holding the blue bottle, and watch him usher megumi over to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

you follow from a few feet away, watching as gojo tries to battle his embarrassment, and savoring it because you're certain that, come morning, he will be absolutely shameless.

you were right. by the time you arrive back to your own apartment, with megumi again asleep in the backseat, he's already discussing pet names and marriage and boasting about how you're lucky because he's just such a good kisser.

tsumiki is near-frantic when you return, and you mentally facepalm for not remembering to shoot her a text explaining your absence. you and gojo spend a good 5 minutes consoling her after placing megumi in his room yet again.

her confusion is only halted when a bolt of realization passes through her, and she manages a smirk that you didn't think she could be capable of.

"why are you guys holding hands?"

you blink, and look down at your right hand, which was currently intertwined with gojo's. you snatch it away and roll your eyes with a dramatic huff, crossing your arms over your chest.

gojo looks shattered.

"what betrayal," he wails, slumping onto you like his bones turned to jelly. you push him off and he lands on the floor sprawled out like a starfish.

"my own partner," he huffs from the ground, "hates me. my life is so hard."

tsumiki's eyes pop out of her skull. "partner? oh my gosh, what did i miss?"

you groan and cover your face with your hands.

a 4th voice chimes in. "don't worry. it wasn't pretty."

megumi stands in the hallway, looking fine as ever, and decidedly not sick.

you blink at him. tsumiki stares. even gojo raises his head off the floor to make sure that the boy was not, in fact, a ghost.

"aren't you sick?" gojo asks.

megumi rolled his eyes. "well, i was, but i'm better now. i think that was your cake from last night. it was so nasty it made me want to die."

you look at gojo. he sits up and shrugs sheepishly.

regret was not a word you use lightly. but right now, you really, really regret letting gojo satoru into your apartment.

author's note: dont think abt the timeline of this too much pls

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howlyourmelancholy · 10 months

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Can I Call You Tonight?

summary: in which james is a little drunk and calls you after midnight for some attention

warnings: bit of smut. little bit of fluff. a friends-with-benefits situation. mutual masturbation. phone sex. nsfw.

word count: 1.1k

a/n: just a little something that's been living in my head rent free.

It had taken days for James to figure out how these muggle devices worked—mobile phones, as Marleen called them. Once he figured it out, the boy texted you every night for a month. The messages started casually, with the two of you checking on each other and seeing how each other’s day went. It was nice to be able to talk with your friends during the holidays without the need for owls, because honestly, sometimes the birds took forever to deliver the letters.

The muggles had the right idea; text messages were quick and instant, and you felt closer to your friends than ever before. And then James had figured out how phone calls worked, and you’d spent multiple nights talking. You enjoyed listening to him talk while you wound down for the evening, brushing your hair, and washing your face. The sound of his voice was soothing and would lull you to an almost catatonic state before you both finally said a sleepy goodbye.

And that was what happened again tonight. You would never have imagined he’d call again or that his voice would become anything except soothing. The bell rang softly in the room, rousing you from your slumber. You groaned as you rolled over.

Really, you both should have been sleeping, but you assumed that James was a little bit drunk after one too many beers with Sirius. Either way, you answered.

"Hey," he said, his words tinged with a lazy charm.

"Everything alright there, Jamie?" You asked as you sat up, reaching up to rub the sleep from your eyes as you glanced at the clock on your bedside table. 12:47 am. You should have been upset. You shouldn’t have even answered the phone. But the muffled groan he made from the other end of the phone had you rubbing your thighs together.

"Yeah," he answered in a low voice. "I just needed to hear your voice, love."

His explanation sent a blush creeping up your neck and into your face, and you felt a pang of arousal between your legs. Your mouth was suddenly very dry, and your nipples were hardening beneath the thin material of your pyjama top. You licked your lips while gazing at the closed door of your bedroom. The house was quiet, and you knew that your parents would be sleeping.

"My voice?" You asked softly and seductively. "Or my voice?"

James knew exactly what you were implying. Ever since the first time you’d come undone beneath him, your legs trembling with the fury of your orgasm, he'd made it his mission to hear every little gasp and moan you could make.

Your relationship with him, the friends-with-benefits type, had started as a one-time deal. You’d told yourself it wouldn’t turn into more because you knew how much he liked Lily and how much she liked him. So when the two of you had been sitting around laughing and making fun of each other, and then your legs were around his waist as he held you to the wall, his cock buried to the hilt in your pussy while you moaned into his ear, you’d sworn that was it.

One and done. No more.

And James had made a liar out of you because it kept happening. Not every day, but now and then when one of you was lonely. You were ashamed to admit that you fell asleep most nights thinking about him. The memories of him had been burned into your brain: the delicious stretch of his cock as he buried every inch of himself into your pussy, the way he’d cradle your face in a hand as he kissed you deeply, how he’d bite and groan into your shoulder when he came, his seed filling you.

Even now, you imagined he would be naked in bed, palming himself through the covers until he was hard, his cock aching, and standing proud against his stomach. You couldn't stop the whimper of arousal that tumbled past your lips or the way your own fingers pushed into the band of your pyjama bottoms.

"Your voice, baby," he replied, sounding almost breathless, and you knew with absolute certainty that his hand was now beneath the covers, fingers fisting his hard length and stroking from hilt to tip. You moaned purposefully as your own fingers pushed between your folds, which were already wet at the idea of him touching himself while thinking about you.

James sighed, and you could hear the smile. "You sound so pretty, baby girl. Are you wet for me?"

You replied with a pleading whimper as you pushed a finger into your tight entrance. "S’wet for you," you agreed as you pushed a second finger in. You imagine it was his cock instead of your own fingers—the way he stretched your snug walls and the delicious feeling of fullness having him inside you invoked. You imagined the way he could thrust so deeply that it felt like he was touching the back of your throat, the way his spongy head would crash into that one spot that made you see stars.

"It feels so good," you said, your voice thick with lust. You wanted him in the worst way. James made this sound of desperate need that sent arousal scuttling up your spine and moisture splashing through your core. You moaned in response, your head lulling back as you got comfortable, letting memories of his hands on your body guide you.

You snuggled down beneath your duvet, imagining the weight of it was James shadowing over you, letting him guide the movements of your fingers through your folds. You rubbed your thumb against your clit, which was starting to get sensitive with the familiar warmth of orgasm.

"That’s right, baby girl," he encouraged when you moaned into the receiver, your fingers pushing deep into the heat of your pussy. "Such a good girl, touching yourself for me. You wanna cum?" He was fisitng himself faster and with more enthusiasm, hearing your pretty little moans and imagining how you were fingering yourself, playing with your clit, and how your thighs would be trembling for him.

"Yes!" You gasped out, hips bucking, as you found that spot that made your blood run hot and dots decorate your vision.

James groaned, his own orgasm rapidly approaching. "Cum for me," he demanded, his voice hoarse as he chased his own release. You came together, his name falling from your lips, his deep groans in your ear drawing out your climax until your toes were curling.

And you knew—you just knew—that this was going to be how you got to sleep from now on.

#james potter #james potter smut #james potter drabble #james potter imagine #james potter fanfiction #james potter x reader #james potter x you

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emilykaldwen · 2 months

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"Blocking isn't some personal insult. Its a method of saying; hey, we clearly shouldn't interact, so I'm gonna build this soundproof wall between us to make sure we can't."

Except that's not what the people you associate with do and encourage you and others to do by extension. I really liked your writing, but it's disappointing to see the type of people you've chosen to buddy up to, who use blocking as a way to weaponize social media and make pariahs out of certain people in the fandom who don't bow to their whims. I hope they don't burn you the way they've burned so many others, but with their track record, I'm not holding my breath.

Okay let's do this. I'm tired. I would like to go back to sleep. Get off my lawn, etc etc.

I have been dealing with anons harassing me since I started posting HotD stuff back during the Season 1 show run. I got hateful anons saying terrible things about Abby back in December. When I interacted with NONE of the people that I currently interact with today. This escalated when I properly began posting Maiden in the summer of last year, and then escalated in the fall. After receiving some truly foul anons in regards to my writing, my OC, and my work, including one telling me to kill myself, I shut anons off. Because what the actual fuck. I have been on the internet for 25 fucking years and this is the first time I have EVER dealt with such bullshit.

Before these anons ramped up, I, like many people, blocked. A lot. I blocked mostly people thirst reblogging stuff about the actors that would cross my dash or in the tags because it made me uncomfortable, I didn't want to see it. I blocked a lot of blogs that were posting these weird reader x canon character thirst lists that I just found bizarre and didn't want to see scrolling through a character tag. That, friends, is what the block button is for. I block people with takes that I disagree with as well, I'm someone whose pretty liberal with my block button. I block things I don't want to see on my dash. It's honestly as simple as that.

No one has fucking told me to block anyone. I am actually deeply fucking insulted that I, a grown ass adult who is nearly forty, needs to be told to block someone/someones when people are setting up blogs called 'ihateemilykaldwens' and trying to terrorize me, and my friends and mutuals, and then try to frame another one of my mutuals for being responsible for it in the process. I only just recently started speaking with "the individuals" I've chosen to associate with long after I have blocked the people you're saying are being bullied.

And if this is about my post the other day about the culture I see: It was never actually about anyone specific, it was genuinely trends I have seen cross my dash as well as discussions with friends in other fandoms. That's all. If someone(s) thought I was talking about them specifically: Dude, IDK what to tell you. That's a you problem.

So let's stop playing coy. I'm tired of it.

THIS. IS. A SMALL. BLOG. I do not pass a block list around and TELL people or encourage them to block them, nor have I ever have it done to me. And even IF someone said 'omg you should block all these people' uh, no? I have free will and can make my own judgements?

Anon, if this situation is upsetting to you, either come off anon in the DMs and talk to me, or you are welcome to unfollow me. I don't care, and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Because the people I've blocked on my own make others feel the way you're claiming they make you feel.

Because we all know who everyone is talking about. And I'm done. This is 12 year old behavior and I don't interact with minors.

I'm going back to bed. Whatever is in the fucking water, I want none of it.

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artiststarme · 1 year

Text

What If Steve Were To Leave Hawkins? Part 9

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Finally, a happy chapter! Thanks to everyone for your suggestions in the comments of Part 8. You all seem really mad at the kids (you're not the only ones lol). What do you guys want to happen next? I have a couple ideas but would love to hear your opinions!

~*~*~*~

As soon as Steve passed the Welcome to Hawkins sign, a thrum of anxiety made its way through his body. When he left not so long ago, he couldn’t imagine himself going back so soon, if ever, really. At the time, he had thought that no one wanted him here and that no one would even notice his abrupt departure. Eddie had changed his mind. While the others may not have cared about him, or at least didn’t display it in the right way, Eddie did. Eddie wanted him around to talk to and had fallen in love with him despite his many faults.

Steve carefully drove through the sleepy town before pulling up to Eddie’s new trailer at Forest Hills. With a deep breath, or two or three, he turned his car off and walked up to the door. Before he could even knock, the door swung open. Steve was met with the view of his very relieved, very upset, and teary-eyed best friend. As he stood there, very confused, Robin shook her head and threw herself into his arms with an affectionate, “Dingus”.

Steve let out a bewildered chuckle as he wrapped his arms around her, “Hey Robs. What’re you doing here?”

Robin didn’t move from her position with her head resting against Steve’s chest as she tearfully answered him. “I was paying a visit to Eddie to tell him off for not telling me that he was talking to you. Where have you been, dingus?”

Steve shrugged his shoulders, his arms still circling Robin. “Downtown Chicago. I found a nice coffee shop and the owner offered me a job and the upstairs unit. Seemed too good to pass up, you know?”

Robin hummed and leaned back from him, “That makes sense. You look like a city boy with the hair and the polos.”

“Was that an insult?” Steve grinned at their usual banter and lightly pushed her shoulder. “How are your shifts going without me? Mr. Brown making you want to stab yourself in the eye with an ice pick yet?”

Robin grimaced, “oh my god, yes! He was talking to me for thirty minutes the other day about the merits of monochrome television. I don’t know how you were able to deal with him every day to be honest.”

Steve smirked, “mostly with my unending patience. But tuning out and nodding every now and then helped too.”

She smiled at him, “I’ve missed you, Dingus. What’re you doing back here so soon?”

Steve looked over her head to see Eddie vigorously shaking a decorative cushion before karate chopping a dent into the now-plopped pillow. He shook his head, this is the weirdo he fell in love with. Still, he turned back to Robin and sighed, “I’m here to take him on an emotional support road trip. We’re going to see the sights, eat the food, live it up, you know?”

He could tell she really didn’t know but she still nodded and pulled him through the doorway of the trailer from which he had been standing for the past several minutes. Eddie was gazing at the pair with a soft expression. Steve would gander a guess and say that was love. Robin looked between the two and decided that the mutual looks were disgusting, in an insufferable but completely loving and understanding sort of way. Steve took a step closer to Eddie and gave him an enthusiastic, albeit awkward, finger wiggling wave.

“Hey Eddie! So, I’m kind of beat from driving here so do you mind if we stay here tonight and take off in the morning? I’ll take you out for breakfast once we get outta town.”

Eddie just straightened his posture, resolutely nodded to himself, and moved toward Steve. He put both of his hands on the sides of Steve’s jaw and gently pulled his face to his. Their lips met in a gentle kiss that caused sparks to shock both of them. When the short kiss ended, Steve felt dazed and content. “Wow. That was, that was just… wow. I’m happy to see you too, Eds.”

Eddie shyly smiled before leaning back and pulling Steve into a bruising and all-encompassing hug. “I missed you, man.”

Meanwhile, Robin stared at the two in shock. What the hell had happened in such a short amount of time? Last she was aware, Steve was straight. But it seems that Steve had no preference for gender when it came to cute individuals with curly hair, angular features, and big eyes. She loudly cleared her throat and with another hug to her platonic soulmate along with a promise for him to call and a sticky note with his new number on it, she made her way out of the trailer and to her own car, a graduation present from her parents.

She’s sure both of them had plenty to talk about without her looking over their shoulders.

~*~*~*~

To absolutely no one’s surprise, Steve Harrington was a great kisser. The best, in fact, if one were to ask Eddie. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t spent much of his high school years helplessly pining for Steve, hoping against all hope that the younger boy would one day develop an inkling of interest. Now here they were and Eddie had never felt so delighted.

They didn’t do anything more than that on this night. Eddie was still wrought with guilt and horror from his encounter with the kids. Meanwhile, Steve was exhausted from driving so far and from the whiplash of emotions he’d gotten throughout the day. And so, both boys brushed their teeth and stumbled into Eddie’s room for some much-needed rest.

They held each other while they spoke in hushed tones about their future endeavors in Chicago and mundane information such as each others’ favorite colors (Steve’s favorite was blue while Eddie’s was green). Then they held each other throughout their sleep in which Eddie’s face found the junction of Steve’s neck and shoulder while Steve’s arms wrapped around Eddie’s shoulder like a vengeful octopus. While it may seem uncomfortable after the fact, it was the best sleep that either boy had ever had.

When they woke up in the morning, they had a moment of peace just staring into each other's eyes and feeling as though everything was right in the world. But once Steve saw the time on Eddie’s alarm clock, 11:27 AM, everything commenced in a rush. Steve yanked Eddie out of bed, forced him to get dressed and finish packing, and hopped in the shower for all of two minutes before borrowing Eddie’s clothes. And that put them even more behind schedule because Eddie couldn’t focus on any of his tasks when he saw Steve wearing his clothes. How could he? It was like the vest incident times a thousand.

Unfortunately, Steve clued into this fact quickly and made his way out to have coffee with Wayne. He and Wayne chatted about Chicago and some of the reasons Steve had left Hawkins, mainly the kids that had deposited themselves firmly on Wayne’s shit-list after making Eddie cry. Steve tried to alleviate his anger a little bit but Wayne was not to be assuaged. Those kids had some serious ass-kissing to do before he even considered forgiving them for messing with his boy.

Once Eddie finished getting ready, he joined them for coffee and anecdotes. After two cups each, they were out the door with not another minute to waste. Chicago had no idea what was coming for it. What they didn’t see was Max rushing out of her trailer just seconds after the Beemer pulled away from the Munson’s trailer. They didn’t notice her jumping and trying unsuccessfully to run after the car to flag them down. And they weren’t aware of her frantic walkie message to the other Party members, not that it would affect them much. No, instead they hit the open road with enthusiasm and Iron Maiden blasting through the car’s speakers. There was no way they would rather have it.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20: Epilogue

Taglist:@nickavalens@conversesweetheart@themostunoriginalpersonever@swimmingbirdrunningrock@eddiethegreatteddybear @call-me-big-eyes @cornwallisandkerley @moonshadows-13 @glittergluekintsugi @cpidcupk @doubleb11 @mentalcyborg @amoris-no-smut-allowed @purple-lemonade @labels-are-for-the-weak @thebrazilianatheist @rajumat @livelaughlexa @5ammi90 @colorful565 @marvelousforlife @chaoticcoffeequeen @gregre369 @suddenlyinlove@thegreatmistake @stillfullofshit @nburkhardt @batxsignalsx @newunknowns @thosemessyvibes @tailsfromthecrypt@luciana-rowan @bird-with-pencils @adaed5 @lolawon @flustratedcas @iwillfindmyneverland @messrs-weasley @skoomy-doompy @yearningagain @darkwitchoferie @forest-fogg @bitchysunflower @stardust-era@newtstabber@bobatrash-queen @notjasontxdd @ohlook-afrog@00biscuit @grtwdsmwhr @oxidantdreamboat @the-witch-forever-lives @estrellami-1 @whatthemeepever @a-simple-gaywitch @imzadidragonfly @freddykicksasses @krimsonsimp @delta-piscium @anaibis @tinynebula

#thanks for the nice comments! I love reading your guys' thoughts #for the next part would you guys rather have a meeting with the kids or a fun time in Chicago for the boys?#poor max is feeling dejected #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #dustin henderson #steddie #fanfic

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kitkatscabinet · 4 months

Text

PROMPTS I'D LOVE TO WRITE

Credits to the following for certain prompts: @leneemusing @novelbear @creativepromptsforwriting @soulprompts @flovprompts @memesomething

FLUFF

' i don't want to spend any time apart from you. ''

'' i really need you to know that [that i love you]. ''

“ wait, you knew? “ “ you haven't exactly been discreet... “

'' so, do you... love me back, or? ''

“ do you have feelings for me or something? “

“ i think i'm falling in love with you. “

“i love it when you smile! i wish you’d do it all the time… ”

“ you can’t get rid of me that easily. i’m gonna be here every day to remind you how wonderful you are! ”

“ you know me. you… you see me. i’m never totally myself unless i’m with you. ”

“ we all have our flaws. you stayed with me in spite of mine. now i’m doing the same… ”

“ of course i remembered! i remember everything about you! ”

“ don’t make this weird, but… i saw this in the store. figured you’d like it. ”

“ whoa… hey, now, who made you cry? where’d they go? ”

“ don’t make a big deal out of this. you like hugs, right? so… here’s a hug. ”

“ um… if you don’t mind, i think i’d like a hug now. if that’s okay… ”

“You’re cute when you’re jealous”

“ the world just… feels right. when you’re with me. ”

"is this okay?" "it's more than okay."

JEALOUS/PROTECTIVE

❝ i just didn’t like the way they were looking at you. like you weren’t mine. ❞ John Mactavish

❝ you know i’m yours, right? i only have eyes for you. ❞

❝ hey, is this asshole bothering you? ❞ Dean Winchester

❝ tell me you’re mine. ❞

❝ you wanna lose a limb? beat it, fucker. ❞

for one muse to possessively kiss the other in public.

for one muse to lean into the other’s side or hug them to seek comfort from a crowd or individual while in public.

FRIENDS TO LOVERS

going as each other’s “platonic” date to a mutual friend’s wedding

agreeing to kiss each other “just to see what it’s like”

punching the guy who broke your best friend’s heart

friends and family think we’re dating because we’re always acting like a couple

sharing clothes, we're just that comfortable with each other

accidentally blurting out “i love you” during a conversation

i’m watching you date all these other people and i don't know what it is i'm feeling but it's definitely not jealousy

you're upset and disappear for a couple hours, and i'm the only one who knows where to find you (which is at the location we always hung out at as children)

one dropping hints about their feelings, the other one is completely oblivious

hearing your best friend say you’re nothing more than friends, dying a little on the inside because you wish it was more than that

family and friends constantly pointing out how compatible you are with each other

ANGST

'' i can't do this without you. ''

'' don't you dare... don't you dare say goodbye. ''

'' it's okay. '' '' it's not okay. ''

'' do you remember that song, that we always used to sing as kids? [could you...?]

'' don't you dare close your eyes. ''

'' she's not dead...! ''

'' you're gonna be okay. ''

“ can you move? “

“ why is it so difficult for you to believe that you deserve to be protected? “

“ stay close. whatever you do, do not leave my side. “ Dean Winchester

“ i’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. no matter the cost. “

“They say you almost died. You left it that late.”

“ tell me it isn't true. “ “ i can't."

“ why is it so damn difficult for you to believe you’re worthy of love? ”

HURT/COMFORT

“ i don’t know how to just live. i constantly feel like i’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. ”

“ there are just too many people depending on me. i can’t rest. i can’t let them down. ”

“ every time i start to feel like things are getting quieter and i can feel safe, something bad always happens. ”

“ i’m here and i’m not leaving or letting you change the subject. now talk to me”

“ you’re important to me. you hear me? you’re important. and that’s never gonna change. ”

“ i’m not going anywhere until you get some sleep. ”

“ i want to take care of you. please, let me. ”

“ you’re a good person. good people deserve to be safe. “

“ i’m going to protect you, now. because that’s what we do for the ones we love. we keep them safe. “

" it's alright... it's okay... i'm here now. i've got you. "

" of course i came for you... it would take far much more than that to stop me. "

❝ i know i can’t protect you from everything, but i wish you’d let me protect you from the things i can control. ❞

“You’re safe. [Name], can you hear me? They’re here to help you, you need to let them help you.”

“I wasn’t –… Your doctors weren’t sure you’d wake up.”

“You.. you were so close to dying. I was scared.”

SCENARIOS/ACTIONS

Smiling at each other from across the room

Laying a hand on the other’s leg

Fixing the other’s clothes

A kiss to the side of the head

Embracing from behind

Laying your head on their shoulder

Bumping shoulders

you take their hands firmly, intertwine their fingers with yours

you repeatedly say you love them when they’re anxious/experiencing low self-worth

put your hands on lover’s cheeks, cradle their face in your hands

you get really mad when you hear someone hurl an insult your lover’s way

for sender to catch or steady receiver when receiver tries to stand up too early or to push their body past what it’s ready for

for receiving muse to not recognize sender or medical staff trying to help them, due to being drugged or otherwise disoriented – so they fight.

SECRET DATING/CONSEQUENCES

“You will cut all ties with them”

“Where were you last night?”

“ how long? ” [a confused pause] “ how long have you two been in a relationship

“ how long do you think it’s going to take before your family finds out ? ”

"If I ask you to kiss me in front of all these people, will you do it?"

#writing prompts #x reader

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gracieart · 11 months

Note

You’re seriously going to take drawing requests from A Court of Thought?!? Someone who routinely lies, gaslights, bullies, and blocks Elriels? You were truly one of my fave people on this platform but watching you pander to Eluciens…whew, the respect I’ve lost.

Hello anon. I seem to have upset another one of you.

First and foremost, I am going to draw whatever I want and I'm not going to apologize to you. Let me just get that out in the air.

And for now, we are just going to ignore how you seem entitled to me, my art, my free time, and what I decide to do so we can quickly address your concern here.

I want to preface this by saying I sat on this ask for hours because I was genuinely so confused where this came from. I literally had no idea what you were referring to. I thought ‘A Court of Thought’ was you trying to criticize me for taking art prompts for A Court of Thorns and Roses and that you were saying I do all those things you mention. Which, as you can imagine, made me very sad.

But it finally dawned on me (after one of my friends pointed it out to me) that you were referring to the comment I replied to from the blog ACourtofThought.

After that realization, your comment started to make sense… for the most part.

Now, I have never once spoken to or even heard of this person before they commented on one of my posts. I know absolutely nothing about them. I’ve never even seen one of their posts. But if what you say is true, then you should know there is no possible way I could have even heard of them before, as I have a long list of anti tags blocked and have a strict no negativity policy on all my blogs. If you knew me at all, or if I was one of your favorite people on this platform, as you claim, then you should know that about me at the very least. I make it very very clear I do not deal with that kind of negativity.

And you know, not everyone in this fandom chooses to surround themselves with negativity. I hope you free yourself from this, truly.

I am not upset that you talked down to me, hurt my feelings, and insulted me. No, I’m mostly upset about the fact that you immediately jumped to the worst conclusions about me. The fact is I simply replied to a nice comment I saw on a post I made. That’s it. You saw that and thought “Wow, this woman is siding with this person I really dislike. And she obviously knows exactly who this person is and why I dislike them so much. So how dare she!”

…That is what you thought, am I wrong?

This is unwarranted and out of context. I am not “pandering” to Eluciens. I was simply asking my very kind mutuals, who happen to like that ship, if they had any prompts they wanted me to draw. And I tagged Elucien in that post so it reached other people. I have so many nice and genuine friends on here who ship all kinds of things, and I want to create something that makes them happy too. Is that a crime?

What if I told you I’m the exact same person I’ve always been? What if I told you that all the while I’ve been one of your “favorite people on this platform,” I’ve been doodling Elucien for some of my longest friends. Would you still have had any respect for me left to lose if you knew that all along?

I won’t talk about the ships here. If you want to know about that, go see my response to the other ask I answered yesterday.

When I first saw this ask, I’ll admit it upset me very much. So much so that I couldn’t get anything done for most of the day because I was so sad that someone would say something like this to me. But I’ve had a whole day to think about this, and I’ve come to one conclusion: I really don’t think you had much respect for me to begin with if you are so quick to turn around and talk down to me and insult me after I seemingly did something to offend you.

And if I did offend you, you could have easily just unfollowed me and moved on. But… you chose to go out of your way to insult me. Why?

I am sorry you are stuck in a place where you feel like you have to assume the worst of people. I’m sorry you have found yourself surrounded with so much negativity in this fandom. Fandom is a place for people to come together because they enjoy something, and I am truly sorry you’ve fallen into the part of the fandom that doesn’t comprehend that.

I’ll never begin to understand why people can’t see that kindness is so much easier. But at least I have a lovely circle of friends on here I can fall back on. Friends who have different opinions, who ship different things, or like other stuff. Friends who are in a completely different circle, but are the kindest, most compassionate people I’ve ever met.

Anon, I truly wish for you to find that for yourself. Try surrounding yourself with kind people who like different things. You will be so much happier. Trust me. There are so many nice people out there once you step outside your own circle.

#ask #so thanks #I felt like crying today #gracie answers

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wisecrackingeric-2 · 5 months

Text

Wooaaaawwghh I wake up first thing in the morning and I need to vent!!!!!!! Sooorry about that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please I ask that only my mutuals/close friends read this

Man I. REALLY hate having autism. Like a lot. Fuck anyone who says that autism is a trend cuz this shit is something I have to deal with all day every day and it SUCKS.

I absolutely DESPISE the fact that my autism gets me so attatched to things out of my control. Like I know I joke about it a lot but Luis genuinely IS my special interest and I absolutely HATE that I get SO UPSET over people pointing out that there’s a solid chance he’s never coming back. I hate that it ruins my day and drives me to near tears cuz that’s STUPID. That’s a REALLY DUMB THING TO GET SO UPSET OVER. But I can’t control it!!!!! I can use methods to make it easier but that’s just autism fucking sucks!!!!!!!!! Same goes for whenever I see anybody misinterpreting or hating on Luis or Serennedy it’s SUCH a STUPID thing to get upset over but!!!!!!!!!!!! Again!!!!!! I can’t control it!!!!!!!

Another kind of unrelated thing that’s been giving me a lot of grief recently is the mere THOUGHT of loosing my RE hyperfixation!!!!!! Again!! It’s dumb!!!! It’s not something I should realistically get so worked up over!!!!!!!! But I’ve made so many incredible friends and I enjoy making fanart so goddamn much and re has brought me SO much comfort after S Y C H a DARK period of my life

Or, again, ANOTHER thing that’s been getting me so anxious is the fact the new years rolling around and after the next re game is announced the ‘main fandom’ will forget re4r. I’m SURE there’ll be some people still dedicated to it but. The thought of people moving in?????? Forgetting Luis and not having an abundance of fanart anymore????? Or he’ll even just seeing the ‘_/_/23’ marker on posts instead of the month is gonna upset me a lot I just know it!!!!!!!!

Idk. Autism sucks. I don’t know what the solution is. I can’t go around policing how people talk about Luis but I also can’t control how strongly I feel. Fuck anyone who says autusm is a trend this sucks and it is BEYOND EMBARRASSING to deal with. I’m debating wether to even post this cuz it’s such a pathetic goddamn thing to be upset over!!!!!!!!! I hate it!!!!

Edit: I also despise when people call special interests codependency/obsessions/unhealthy etc. That genuinely makes me so upset. Do you KNOW how much happier I’d be as a lil kid if I knew that the things I only ever wanted to talk about were actually a good thing and my brain trying to enjoy life the way it knows how instead of my interests being called obsessions?????? Fuck that!!!!!!

Tldr I hate having autism a lot. I’m glad I got diagnosed but I wish I never had it in the first place

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lookbluesoup · 1 year

Text

I've had a lot of people interacting with my post yesterday about wishing there was more fandom meta discussion and exploration of "missing moments" with... huge amounts of fear and insecurity.

And I get that it's hurtful to share stuff in a fandom space and potentially be met with silence. It's easy to feel drowned out or get overwhelmed in a big fandom. It's terrifying to be in an online space and potentially get harassed by assholes who think anyone who looks at canon differently from them are evil.

I have definitely left spaces before where one or both of those things were so prevalent that I didn't feel like it was worth it trying to be part of that community. Your feelings are valid, they're legitimate fears. But it really hurts my heart to see so many creative people be so afraid.

Based on what I've seen, I assume that many DO want a more interactive fandom experience, in spite of that anxiety.

I can't tell anyone what they should do. I can advise you that fear and insecurity usually come from the inside - from past hurts, and that understanding them and deciding you don't want to be afraid anymore, that you deserve a space and a voice, is an important step in being able to reach out and form healthy, genuine connections with people over the things that you love.

But you are the only one who can decide what's good for you. Maybe you need therapy, or a different fandom, or a different environment. Maybe you need to cut some toxic people out of your life. I'm a stranger on the internet and I'll never be able to answer that question for you.

In lieu of that, I'll share some tips that have generally helped me feel safe in fandom spaces even though I have sometimes have anxiety attacks just trying to talk to friends.

Block people. I am dead serious. This bit is extra long because of how serious I am. 1) You're deliberately putting your comfort first, and that's a good thing to practice and 2) You won't have to worry much about those people invading your space

You don't have to hate them, they don't have to be evil, you just have to decide this isn't someone who's opinions you want in your corner of fandom. If they keep posting way off base critique of your favorite character, or imply liking a ship/character is somehow evil, or are just generally negative and you feel worse after seeing their posts most of the time? Take care of yourself. Block them.

If you really don't like their takes, you can go into your settings and use the filter tool to hide posts that their username is mentioned in from your dash. You don't have to see them or deal with them. Ignorance is bliss.

This is not being mean, it's not being an asshole, it's not being insensitive.. It's telling yourself "My comfort matters." We're in a hobby space, here to enjoy ourselves. You can always unblock someone later if you want.

If someone sends you anon hate. Block anon. If you MUST reply to the ask to show your friends or get the last word in, screenshot it and post the screenshot to respond to. But click that menu beside the actual ask and block the shit out of that Anon. Afaik they'll be IP blocked, it will be much harder for them to send you additional hate. (Not impossible, but harder, and most will move on to easier targets.)

You are not "winning" by leaving them unblocked, you're not proving that you're brave or that they don't matter, you're just leaving yourself open to more abuse. Block anon hate.

Unfollow people if the content they put on your dash upsets you. You don't have to dislike them personally. You don't have to justify it. Being "mutuals" is often overemphasized on here. You can be friends, you can read their fics or send them asks and be supportive without having to see every single thing they share. Following is about curating your dash, not picking friends.

Don't post when you're angry. I know that person bashing your fav character is an idiot but do not vaguepost or call them out in a fit of rage. Take a step back, remember it's fandom and not the entire world. If the other person seems interested in discussion, you can have a good-faith talk about it, but don't go into it determined to change their mind. You're just exchanging information, and you're allowed to disagree. If they're only hating and clearly not interested in talking, then write something positive about your character instead, in your own post, and focus on maintaining a space with people who you actually like talking to.

Hopefully you're seeing that the above advice is about building a safe, manageable fandom corner for yourself, and feeling powerful enough to enforce it. That's important. You don't owe people online interaction.

Fandom acquaintances can certainly grow into strong friendships, but not everyone, or even MOST of the people in fandom, deserve to be your friend and all the social obligations that entails. It would be exhausting and stressful to do otherwise, and it's not practical.

Now for positive action!

Nurture a handful of good friendships. If you brought some to fandom with you, great. You're a book club now. Each other's main "support", who (hopefully) do genuinely enjoy talking together. Fandom at large might not always give you affirmation, but a few good friends who know you giving you that support will be much more meaningful and sincere.

Talk to people you like! Say nice things about their art, writing, or characters. Reblog from them. Show a genuine interest in talking to them and seeing their creations. I know it's scary, but if you're trying to make connections, you do have to reach out! Lots of us are scared and most of us don't hear that we matter to someone else often enough. Be the change you want to see. You may be surprised to find that opening a door allows others to come through it, too, and they'll often try to connect back.

Not everyone will reciprocate the interest, for a variety of reasons which won't usually be your fault. That's ok! If you like their stuff, keep supporting them because that's part of what keeps fandom alive, but look for friendship elsewhere. Even if it doesn't work out and you don't hit it off, you tried!

More people agree with your takes than you think. A lot of them might be scared, too, because going against fanon mainstream is intimidating. But you'll have a much harder time finding like-minded folks if you never share your takes/writing/art/etc for people to find. Putting your voice out there is an investment that might take some time to pay off, but if it makes one other person out there feel less alone and more validated, surely that's worth it?

You're allowed to change your mind. About characters, about people, about fandom, about yourself. You are not beholden forever to your first or second opinion about a topic.

#idk if this will really help anyone but i figure its worth saying #its not a catch all but its an amalgamation of stuff that helped ME when i was in the worst of my states #fandom #wyn gabs #mental health #long post #text #anxiety #depression

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c0rpseductor · 9 months

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i complained briefly about this on twitter (“briefly,” he says. Actually i complained about it for quite some time and with vigor) but i hate that godawful website because i am a verbose autist and a tweet is only about a sentence or two long. for me. so i will try to pursue a thought about it here from beginning to end, outside of the constraints of twitter’s character limit (which is targeting me personally)

i have tried on and off for hours to get my mind off this, but i was really upset and disappointed to find out that richard siken not only did write wincest himself but seems to approve of approaching incest from the angle of sexual fantasy in general — these tweets about it are really sticking in my craw, and apparently they are from an interview he did in 2015, but the whole thing just came up again and it’s not my favorite take!

the question about consequences — and ��question” is generous, i know he’s already years ago come to the conclusion that whatever consequences exist as a result of such narratives do not matter — gets me bc it’s like, dude, i KNOW what the consequences are. from experience. i have lived with them all my life.

the cycle is as such: writers portray incest as mutual sexual deviance as opposed to the reality of it being violence. literature portrays it as such, pop culture portrays it as such, fanfiction portrays it as such, it is widely discussed as such — as an example, try really thinking about how often perceived promiscuity is blamed on “daddy issues,” and what that may imply. many people never have any personal experience with incest or with survivors and come to regard it as a distant sort of kink activity, or an imaginary, almost fun and racy sort of violence that happens to a distinct class of subhuman other totally segregated from human society. survivors are blamed because the dominant cultural narrative believes they are willing participants and not victims of rape, survivors internalize shame and do not come forward. survivors often come forward to partners who find their childhood trauma (incestuous abuse is most often CSA) arousing. the online support group i frequent has a recurring problem of lurkers who use DMs to sexually harass psychologically vulnerable victims of abuse while they are in crisis. society does not take us seriously because the violence we face is seen not as violence, but as a category of pornography.

furthermore, trying to say this makes me the bad guy. to frankly and clearly state the harm perpetuated against me and others by these cultural narratives & their continuation in every aspect of life is regarded as puritanical and Orwellian. nevermind that the proliferation of such ideas & narratives and my exposure to them left me terrified that my closest friends would think i was a pervert for disclosing sexual abuse from my parents, nevermind that I spent years being told by my abusers and society at large that i’d brought it on myself, nevermind that i’m continually surrounded by that rhetoric every day and continue to have salt rubbed in the already unbelievably painful wounds — some people are criticized for publishing wincest fic in ao3, and this is the truest sort of victim; surely someone who was merely raped by his father for years could not understand the pain and martyrdom of being called an asshole online. THIS is the real concern. upholding the secret and mystique around intrafamilial sexual violence for the sake of shippers’ enjoyment of a middling CW show from 2004 is how we will fix society, no matter how many incest survivors’ dignity we must sacrifice to make it happen

anyway. i think this guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but trying to convince anyone that this stuff is even tangentially related to the experiences of real human beings who may see it and be hurt is a good deal like trying to tell people unicorns are real, in that they will laugh in your face.

#csa ment #incest ment #if you say any dumb shit to me on this post i will drive a semi through your living room and turn you into a fine gory mist

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fairycosmos · 10 months

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Can you and your followers let me know if I'm be dramatic by being upset about this? Sorry for how long this is and for it being worded like a reddit AITA post.

A very close friend (as in I've known her for 5 years, we lived together during uni, etc etc) and I made plans back in like January to see a musical in August and we already bought tickets (which are expensive) and I've been openly very excited about it because it's a musical I've wanted to see for a while. Then, in May, she met this guy (now her boyfriend) and after a few weeks of knowing/casually hanging out with him, he asked her to go with him on a trip the same weekend we were planning to see the musical. And she agreed. Now, despite the fact that I've easily been her closest friend throughout uni (and I literally would always cook for her and clean after her without reciprocation) she has deliberately avoided telling me about any details regarding her relationship and also didn't tell me about the fact that she's bailing on our plans. She told another Mutual Friend and told her to not tell me because she wanted to break the news herself. But that Mutual Friend did end up telling me because one day I was ranting about how she's been keeping me out of the loop of her new relationship and barely speaking to me. So I knew for a month now that she's bailing on these plans and was just waiting for her to openly tell me. Then yesterday she accidentally revealed it without realizing in a group chat, and when I asked her privately she didn't even say sorry she just said that she completely forgot and got the dates mixed up. Which I know isn't true.

On top of that, two weeks ago was my birthday, and around like 7pm, I told Mutual Friend that this friend hadn't wished me yet. And she got really upset about it but I didn't want to make it into a big deal. And then that friend ended up wishing me at 11:30pm and said she was at training all day at work, which I knew was bs because who trains for 12 straight hours and because I literally saw on Twitter that she had tweeted multiple times earlier that day so she had access to her phone. But I let it slide. And yesterday, Mutual Friend revealed to me that she actually had to remind this friend that it was my birthday because she was afraid the day would pass by without her wishing me and didn't want my feelings getting hurt. Am I crazy for letting all this upset me? I'm happy that she's found a boyfriend but she's literally been icing me out since then. It's normally very difficult for me to get my feelings hurt and I feel so dramatic being this upset about a birthday wish and a cancelled plan but idk. I want to confront her about it but I've been told that I should just keep my distance for a while.

hey i don't think you're an asshole for this - something that did cross my mind is that maybe ur friend is in a sort of controlling or unhealthy relationship with this person? just based on how shes been isolated from you, someone who is rly close to her, and how distant she's been since getting with the guy. ofc that's a very worrying and nuanced situation to have to confront and that's a big assumption on my part -it truly may not be the case, and even if it is, obviously as an outsider looking in obviously there's only so much you can do to try to get through to her. butttt if right now it just seems like she's gotten into a new relationship and put your friendship with her entirely on the backburner with no explanation, then i think your feelings of anger and hurt are entirely understandable. i've honestly been there myself so many times like when girlfriends get boyfriends and suddenly you're basically invisible to them. it's sooo discouraging and hurtful and you feel like a freak for being sad about it but still you're sad about it. and while obviously people's priorities change when they get into a relationship, it's not ok to neglect all of your friendships just bc you're seeing someone, you know? i completely see why you're upset and i don't think you need to feel like you've done something wrong for simply questioning her recent behaviour. especially when it comes to that expensive gig!!! she should've had the respect to come to you herself about that if she was cancelling, point blank. i would be pretty pissed myself in ur shoes. it's obviously entirely up to you where you go from here, and i guess i can't answer that part for you as i don't know the ins and outs of your circumstances + dynamic with her -- but whatever you need to do to ensure you have your own best interests at heart here is alright. whether it's taking time or talking to her or a mixture of both. and btw this is just my singular perspective ofc so maybe im wrong or missing something. sending so um grain of salt and all that, but yeah that's how i see it. sending a huge hug your way. x

#anon

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