#it’s so hard to speak sometimes

[snowflake-sage]

.

#it’s so hard to speak sometimes #the things I’m concerned about seem so complicated #how do I talk about those things? #how can I tell anyone how I feel #how do I speak my feelings #how do I voice my concerns #what if saying anything ruins everything #besides that #when I speak and be myself #it feels almost wrong #I feel so disconnected and weird #it’s just all bottled up inside #I should honestly just go to therapy #but even then I don’t know if I could speak #vent #vent art #art #doodle #drawing #furry #furryart #fursona #digital art #furry fandom #furry art #furry anthro #tw vent

[lobsterfork]

i unapologetically, unironically love crush. like it tries so hard to be anti-spuffy but david fury was a FOOL to think that the line "I'm drowning in you, Summers" wasn't going to irreparably alter my brain chemistry. that Spike almost falling over himself to open a door for Buffy wasn't going to make me positively unhinged.

literally the only thing i don't like about this episode is fury patronising the audience with his ham-handed, puritanical Hunchback analogy.

but it's fine, 'cause buffy didn't do the reading.

#you tried so hard david and you just kept digging yourself deeper #like... maybe controversial but this episide is up there with something blue for me #sometimes i still gotta watch through hands over my face #but i love love love it #dawn speaking on the entire audience's behalf #and playing the role of someone who wasn't traumatised by angelus and doesn't have an (understandably) polarised view of soul lore #“i don't think spike's icky” #you're right dawn and you're right to say it #spuffy #buffy #spike #spike btvs #spike x buffy #buffy the vampire slayer

[celestialwife]

it genuinely makes me so sad to see people always being like "I know [media] is bad" "it's pretty mid but I love it" "I know it's stupid but it's so fun" or whatever other synonym they can think of like babes!! you do not have to be self deprecating about your passions!! you need not be ironic about what makes you genuinely happy!!!!! unlearn shame!!! stop making excuses!!! for what brings you joy!!!

#life is long and challenging and stressful. the world is hard and sometimes callous #why on earth shouldn't you enjoy some media that's just genuinely /fun/ and just exists to be cool? #or well exists to go 'yes AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS COOL?' #idk it makes me so sad #nym speaks

[atthebell-moved]

once again wishing the english speaking ccs spoke better spanish & portuguese & french so they would interact with people more and everyone didn't have to speak quite so much english to accommodate them... thinking about how much fun vegetta and phil would have together, for one

#bell.txt #like major kudos to everyone learning #it just sometimes feels like they are NOT trying that hard bc they dont even know basic pronunciation stuff #not everyone obvi fit is pretty decent at pronouncing spanish at least #phil and wilbur though.... wilburs spanish is so bad i had to mute his streams when he tried speaking it its genuinely awful #and bc the server started out with spanish most people are only trying to learn it and not anything else

[kenobihater]

of all the star wars movies, which of them do y'all 1) enjoy the most 2) consider the best quality and 3) think you've rewatched the most. add your answers in the reblogs or replies, i'm genuinely curious how much of an overlap there is within everyone's three answers. mine don't overlap at all! they're revenge of the sith, empire strikes back, and the force awakens :^)

#len speaks #star wars #revenge of the sith #empire strikes back #the force awakens #not tagging more films than that bc i cant b bothered. incoming tag ramble ahead bc i have sw brainrot rn and im making it everyones prob❤️ #i rlly struggled 2 remember if id watched tfa or aotc more. i went w/ tfa bc it was formative to me as a teen and ive seen it probably 6ish #times? whereas aotc was the first sw movie i remember (specifically the scene of obiwan serving c*nt in the bar lmao) but i've only seen it #for sure 4.5 and maybe 5.5 times. the .5 is from when i got bored after obi-wan's scene ended and ran off to go play in the mud or smthn 😭 #i'm sure tfa will eventually get surpassed in number of rewatches by aotc and rots bc i don't fw the direction of the ST but that's my #current ballpark estimate of my total number of rewatches #as an adult tho if i just wanna watch a star war i'll go with aotc bc it's fun and ends semihappily and i can turn my brain off for the #spinny lightsabers. it's great background noise or for if you're sick or whatever. rots on the other hand? i won't talk through that unless #i'm quoting it with my brother and i am LOCKED IN 100% entirely entranced by it all #i almost picked rogue one for the best quality answer but i think the character writing is weaker and the facial cgi is creepy. esb beats #it by a hair imho bc of that. the vader hallway scene goes hard tho!!! #also i'm not covering shows or games or books or anything else in this post - simply the films. might ask abt shows later but that might #also give me hives bc so many of the shows suck ass and i don't rlly want ppl extolling the virtues of t.bb in my notes 💀 #and yes i do think one's enjoyment and one's opinion of quality are two things that often overlap. but sometimes you just like something #bad and that's awesome. like rots is the best of the prequels by a large margin and i adore the opening and characters and many of the #scenes but that doesn't mean it's the best star wars has to offer ykwim? it's my specialest most favoritest sw movie but that doesn't blind #me to the dialogue lmfaooo

[prince-liest]

I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)

Even though I know logically that’s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2) That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3) If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4) Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)

The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.

I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.

But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.

Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.

And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.

In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

#ask #personal #Anonymous #long post #t #aroace #ace #he cares about Vox at this point! #but that's. not really the same as respecting him. #anyway this next chapter is important to me because it's very #how do I put this #“this was okay at the moment but that doesn't mean he's okay with it overall and forever” #“and it does not mean that they've 'progressed' their relationship to the point where Alastor being aroace is a 'nonissue'” #“(feat. ofc the heavy implication that it was an issue in the first place)” #ANYWAY. SOMETIMES I HAVE A HARD TIME EXPRESSING THIS IN NON-FIC WORDS #SO HOPEFULLY THE FIC AS IT CONTINUES SPEAKS FOR ME. I AM GLAD THAT IT HAS SPOKEN TO YOU SO FAR <3 THANK YOU!! #sexuality #my writing #hazbin hotel #this is a hot button topic atm and it took me a minute to write a reply #that didn't seem like it invited discourse lmfao #actually I still feel weird posting my opinion this strongly oops OH WELL

[multi-lefaiye]

not sure who might need to hear this or if it's just me that needs to, but i've had this thought for a bit and i wanna write it out

you are not a machine that exists to make art. you are a human being, and human beings need rest and breaks.

creative block happens. it's natural, and embracing it as part of the process is far better in the long run than stressing out over it.

we live in a world that emphasizes productivity above all else and needing to Make Something, but truly it is not the end of the world if you're not productive 24/7.

#multi makes text posts #also. even machines need breaks sometimes #nothing can run at 100% all the time #speaking for myself here #i get really antsy and irritable when i haven't done any art for a bit #it stresses me out. like a lot. #so like. I Get It. trust me i really do #and the same applies for writing; but it's a lot more pronounced with art #it's a hard mindset to escape. i am VERY aware of that #but idk. productivity isn't the end all be all of creating #and i wish that mindset wasn't so pushed a lot of the time

[macksartblock]

Will Campos I will sue you god I wanna throw up

#normal shutting down and literally putting on a mask #him constantly trying to guide his friends to do what he thinks is right #intentionally or not speaking over them and inadvertantly shooting their thoughts down when he thinks he has a more logical idea #he is so autistic I am so sick #dndads spoilers #all these teens make me ill if I think too hard but sometimes it’s like looking at my teenage self with normal

[akkivee]

Intensely Spicy Curry Training: Hypmic Curry Drama Track TL

Kuukou: Y’all sure took your sweet time getting here! I’ve already got everything prepared!

Jyushi: But didn’t you tell us to meet you at the temple?

Hitoya: If we’re making curry, why the hell are we way out in the mountains to do it?

Kuukou: Because I just had a great idea. Check this out!

Jyushi: Ooooh, look at all this meat! So, we’re going to be using all of this in our curry?

Hitoya: Beef and chicken, huh? I guess it would make sense not cook these while inside your temple.

Kuukou: You’re half right, and half wrong.

Jyushi: What do you mean?

Kuukou: I don’t plan to make just any ol’ curry. Now it’s time for the both of y’all to mince the hell out of this meat!!

Hitoya: I didn’t know whether to expect if a corrupt little monk such as yourself knew how to cook, but I’m surprised. Instead of using something pre-made, if we pound and mince the meat ourselves, we’d get a far more superior product. Is that what you were thinking?

Jyushi: Oh, I see! That’s amazing, Kuukou-san!

Hitoya: So, where’d you put the food processor?

Kuukou: Ah?? The hell are you on? You’re grinding this meat with your bare hands.

Jyushi: …Eh?

Kuukou: Jyushi, you’re on beef! Hitoya, you’re taking the chicken! Punch it with everything you’ve got and make minced meat out of it!! This is a new training session I thought up!

Hitoya: What the hell is this fool saying??

Jyushi: B-But there’s so much meat!! Grinding it by hand is impossible!!

Kuukou: I don’t want to hear any complaints!! You don’t know that unless you try!

Jyushi & Hitoya: *reluctantly pounds the meat by hand*

Jyushi: *tearfully* …My body’s going to become minced meat before the actual beef!

Hitoya: Damn it, I can’t believe I let my guard down like this…! I shouldn’t have expected we’d simply make curry…!

Kuukou: You can’t expect to get anywhere with a weak spirit behind weak fists like that!! Lemme show you how it’s done!

Kuukou: *starts punching*

Hitoya: You bastard, those are vegetables!!

Jyushi: E-Even I could mince a tomato by hand!

Kuukou: It doesn’t matter either way!! Whether it’s vegetables or meat, all that matters is the heart you’re putting behind it!!

Jyushi: T-That doesn’t make any sense…!!

Kuukou: “Enlightenment can be attained through one thousand fists!” Don’t just keep yapping and put some energy into your hips and legs too!

Hitoya: Tch, I don’t see any way out of this… Then, I might as well get it over with…!! UWOOOOOOOOOAAAARRRRGHHHH!!!!!!!! *maximum effort punching*

Jyushi: H-Hitoya-san??

Kuukou: Hyahaha! There’s the effort I wanna see!

Jyushi: Guh… Because My God has unshackled the chains binding his true power, I, too, must unlock mine to continue alongside him…! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!! *maximum effort punching*

-------------------------

Jyushi: I-I can’t move another inch…

Hitoya: Ugh… I can’t even take the cap off my water bottle…

Kuukou: *sighs* It’s pretty pathetic to be that exhausted just from cooking.

Hitoya: You…!!!

Jyushi: But, I think it would be really nice if our training efforts could be felt by those eating our curry…!

Hitoya: …Well, I don’t think I’d say it like that, but I agree with the sentiment.

*the trees rustle and the birds chirp and there is peace*

Kuukou: The fuck are y’all talking about? There’s no point to this if the people who eating aren’t going through training too.

Jyushi: Eh?

Kuukou: Training can only be felt when you grow from the trials you’ve experienced yourself. Hopping off from other people’s efforts won’t mean shit.

Jyushi: B-but I mean, we’ll still be serving the curry to others once it’s finished cooking, right?

Kuukou: Yup. Which is why I’ve got…!

Hitoya: UWAH!! MY EYES!! IT’S IN MY EYES!!

Jyushi: That powder…!!

Hitoya: It’s red chili pepper!! Jyushi, run!! Move upwind so it doesn’t blow and stick to your mucous membrane!!

Jyushi: Eeek!!! *runs away sobbing*

Kuukou: HYAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Hitoya: Kuukou, you bastard, what are you doing? Are you trying to ruin everything we worked on??

Kuukou: I’m not ruining a damn thing! This curry will be spicy so I can provide a remote kind of training!

Hitoya: Stop fucking around!! There’s gotta be a limit!!

Jyushi: *runs back over* I think there’s more chili pepper powder than ingredients now…!!

Kuukou: Then it’s just right! Now try it.

Jyushi: NO!! I will not be eating!! I absolutely refuse!! Don’t even try me!!

Kuukou: Hey stupid, watch it, that’s dangerous!! Stop fighting me and just—Ahh??

Jyushi: T-The inside of the pot is pitch black……!!

Hitoya: Obviously. Chili peppers burn easily. Haah… Let’s just remake the curry.

Jyushi: But doesn’t that mean we’ll have to mince more meat??

Kuukou: Whatever, I was thinking our “Intensely Spicy Curry Training” was made too halfheartedly anyway!! Time to give it all I got and win this championship!!

#kuko harai #jyushi aimono #hitoya amaguni #bad ass temple #hypmic #hypnosis mic #til that you can make a meat paste at the very least by using a mortar and pestle LOL #the curry pissed me tf off lmao it was so spicy but underneath all that spice was a ridiculously flavourful curry #it's spicy enough that i can tell it's comfortably spicy for people used to eating spice tho!! #habenero is the worst experience with spice i ever had and it wasn't that bad lol but i got the sense it could have been #so i assume jyushi and hitoya talked kuukou down lmao or we didn't want a repeat burnt product lol #i decided to tone down how i usually write bat to try and not show my very obvious bias lol hopefully it worked #i remember slug mentioning sometimes a tl will come off vague in order to not get in the way of future developments #and i actually felt that tling this lmao like when hitoya was telling kuukou there's a limit for everything #i had to choose whether to make this about kuukou and training or kuukou and the chili peppers #the statement itself was a vague warning so my own interpretations of bat were getting in the way probably lol #statements without a clear subject usually default to the person speaking so kuukou saying give it everything and win the championship #is me assuming he's talking about himself and again i'm a little worried my own interpretations of bat are getting in the way #since kuukou's self reliance is blatant but also not if you're casually looking at bat SO IDK LOL I THINK TLING IS HARD #curry tl

[wrylu]

idk why i'm so moody these days but i find my despair funny

aka my average day as of now

#1. impulsive silly thoughts #2. STOP FORGETTING TO EAT!!!!!!!!!!!!1 please :3 (note for myself me myself and i) #3. i get sad 🥱 #4. tired #(tumblr deleted half of my tags. isnt that nice though you wont have to listen to my essay of vents nobody wanted to hear that) #vent art #wrylu #lu's canvas #negative thoughts below :) have some flowers 💐 #sometimes i feel like i should get up more and spend time with my family i miss how it used to be #but you know what i suck and im practically glued to my chair and im lazy like if i was one of the 7 deadly sins i would be sloth #im surprised im not dead yet #this is purely for myself to speak my poor mind #no i actually hate this #i wanna die #i wish i was dead #not really #but still #i wish time just stopped so i can re evaluate my life #and whoa damn dysphoria makes an appearance ever #i wish i had a schlong (funny) #this is awful #sometimes i feel manipulative like i switch my emotions and personalities so hard #am i manipulating you guys?? #i feel like im being sad for attention #ugh i hate that the internet is my comfort #thats bad isnt it #i feel like an attention seeker #why am i even writing this 🥱🥱 #i cant wait to fall asleep forever

[soupmanspeaks]

you ever wonder if the Glamrocks's face tracking acts up when they look at Glamrock-Freddy, like they'll look at his face, and the recognition will register as Freddy, but their systems for whatever reason or another think that there is a face overlapped on Freddy's do you think they see two small squares next to him, at his side, roughly child sized, but no one is physically there.... right...?

#fnaf #michael afton #five nights at freddy’s #glammike #crying child #elizabeth afton #i wanted to allude something to william but idk #would the glamrocks go into the sinkhole? maybe #maybe next to glamrock freddy alongside the weird overlapping face he has and the two kid height faces #there is a face tracking box next to him...standing #remember that post about the ghost hunters comin to the pizza plex? maybe the weird face tracking happens too... #im watching garret watts and Andrew's constant facial tracking anomalies inspired this post lol #anyways i really like the thought that despite being the most friendly Glamrock; Freddy has this......feeling about him #his AI was made just this year! programmed with cutting edge and top of the line technology! #then....then why does he go off script sometimes? why does he say things that wasn't programmed show dialogue? #how does he know about Mr. Afton? the killer from the 80's who committed heinous deeds? #Why does he speak as if he knew him personally? if his AI is just pulling stuff from online; Why does he speak with resentment about him? #IM SORRY I JUST LOVE THE CONCEPT!! #like just because this franchise has gotten more neon and sugery than ever; remember; lights can be blinding and sugar causes cavities #idk what that means just omg there is more horror potential than you think in the SB era of games if you look hard enough #off topic but back to freddy being a sweetie pie i think that its funny okay #freddy sasses adults okay okay but he isnt mean to kids okay maybe michael just idk; MATURED? maybe he just got some whimsy mkay? #listen if i was forced to be in a perpetual cycle of atoning for my own and my father's sins i would find any and all silver linings mkay #aw yeah this is sick i get to be a freddy mercury inspired glamrock bear WOOO #granted michael was probably tired of animatronic bands and pizza by fnaf 6 but ykkkkkkkk it.....could be worse? he could be his dad lmao #anyways headcannon michael listend to freddy mercury and this is the equivalent of cosplaying him scott told me so (trust) #tag rambles! theyre fun lol

[susansontag]

women have to learn to project themselves onto male characters if they’re interested in reading like classic literature or really anything. I have no sympathy for men who can’t get into a tv show or whatever because it has a female protagonist

#women perhaps can be written or portrayed in a hugely gendered way so I understand that #sometimes I find it hard too. but generally speaking no #moth.txt

[kenobion]

Andrew Garfield for Soho House

#um hello hi yes I saw a source for this video and had to gif it #andrew garfield #my gifs #thank you soho house for this #I am never going to be over him #how does it feel to be the most gorgeous human on the planet?? #sir. #he's both the cutest and the hottest how is this so #I don't understand it but I love it #and the way he was speaking in this video too #especially near the end #the part about trying to be more fully present - I'm working on trying to do that too #it can be hard when there are so many distractions everywhere #sometimes you just have to let that stuff fall away and focus on what's in front of you #I love that he says these kind of things and makes these points #because so often they are getting at some greater truth #like how he was also saying that's what acting is about #getting to the truth of things #just uGH his mind #to have a conversation with him would be fantastic #sir please hmu anytime

[anonymous-kotlc-thoughts]

I find it kinda interesting how when I first read the books I was neutral on Keefe vs Fitz, maybe even more Fitz, then I went to youtube and saw most people hated Fitz and liked Keefe so I kinda jumped on a bandwagon, and I’m now realizing on tumblr that it’s actually quite complicated ok ramble over

.

#YEAH I have a habit of always jumping on bandwagons so to speak and it's. it's kinda hard to have my own unbiased opinions sometimes #anonymous kotlc thoughts #kotlc #keefe sencen #kotlc keefe #fitz vacker #kotlc fitz

[elliesbelle]

you CALL ME UP AGAIN just to BREAK ME LIKE A PROMISE

#i hate you i hate you i hate you #YOU unblocked me and fucking followed me #your fucking girlfriend CAME FOR ME #and YOU have the audacity? #‘i’m so tired of this’ i have fucking LEFT YOU ALONE FOR MONTHS #I HAVE YOU BLOCKED ON EVERYTHING #‘please move on’ you come into MY life when you feel like it to just fuck it up #fuck you #fuck you fuck you fuck you #are you not fucking TIRED OF DOING THIS TO ME #absolutely rich saying i’ve made you into a personal villain #look at everything everything EVERYTHING you’ve done to me #you’re telling me i have NO RIGHT to villainize you????? #this blog is MY own fucking personal equivalent of a journal sometimes so get the fuck out of my face #my life is fucking hard enough go fuck off and be happy with ur gf who’s fine with a cheater of a partner #fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you #v #belle speaks

[da-proti-toku-grem]

I've got three moods right now:

1. Crying because of the guys being too cute and domestic

2. Laughing because of mine and @c28hunter dms about Bojan going tits out just to get Nace's phone from behind the radiator

3. Screaming because I listened to Veronika by Raiven and it's so!! good!!

#this is too much for me i can't handle so many emotions #besides. i was on my way to the shower and now i'm too scared bc i just *know* that they're going to drop smth while i'm in the shower #life is too hard sometimes /j #joker out #maca speaks