#im surprised im not dead yet

[wrylu]

idk why i'm so moody these days but i find my despair funny

aka my average day as of now

#1. impulsive silly thoughts #2. STOP FORGETTING TO EAT!!!!!!!!!!!!1 please :3 (note for myself me myself and i) #3. i get sad 🥱 #4. tired #(tumblr deleted half of my tags. isnt that nice though you wont have to listen to my essay of vents nobody wanted to hear that) #vent art #wrylu #lu's canvas #negative thoughts below :) have some flowers 💐 #sometimes i feel like i should get up more and spend time with my family i miss how it used to be #but you know what i suck and im practically glued to my chair and im lazy like if i was one of the 7 deadly sins i would be sloth #im surprised im not dead yet #this is purely for myself to speak my poor mind #no i actually hate this #i wanna die #i wish i was dead #not really #but still #i wish time just stopped so i can re evaluate my life #and whoa damn dysphoria makes an appearance ever #i wish i had a schlong (funny) #this is awful #sometimes i feel manipulative like i switch my emotions and personalities so hard #am i manipulating you guys?? #i feel like im being sad for attention #ugh i hate that the internet is my comfort #thats bad isnt it #i feel like an attention seeker #why am i even writing this 🥱🥱 #i cant wait to fall asleep forever

[wsnart]

I dont wanna do mid-terms I just wanna draw men

#to the 6 people that still follow me #surprises surprise im not dead (yet) #wriothesley #genshin impact #genshin #genshin fanart #genshin wriothesley

[orcelito]

Thinking about using the journal I got for writing my dad's eulogy for trying to process my grief with it. The letter from me I found in his lockbox is still in that front sleeve, along with one of the memorial folders they had at the funeral.

I think I don't want to write it all on here. I think I've talked about my emotions too much as of late.

#speculation nation #negative/ #kind of. i guess. #the thing about grief is that it really just never ends. #so im done with the funeral. the time is over. here i am. hes dead. im alive. time to move on. #but it's not that simple. of course it's not. #but would my followers who followed me just for my writing even Care? #honestly surprised i havent lost more followers. or any? idk i havent been paying much attention to numbers #but i know it hasnt really gone down much if at all #i just feel. like im not the person that people initially followed. #and i dont know when im going to be that person again. #there's no enthusing here. anytime im making text posts it's about The Situation. #i wonder how evident my grief is to you all. i feel it in my every breath. #i havent been working yet i feel weak. it's hard to feel much at all. #either im existing and im helping with packing or im crying again bc i remembered my dad cant help me pick out a car now #(in the Vaguely In The Future me buying a used car idea. for after i get my license. whenever that is.) #or im crying bc of jackets or colognes or a letter in a lockbox or a stupid minions hat picture in a too-big frame #or laughing bc Dad In A Bag (his ashes are downstairs. im far too unbothered by their presence) #ive been having an... okay time. we watched Dune today and i started building a lego set. it was nice. #but im only ever Okay. emotions hard to access. interests certainly not accessible. #making it hard to be creative at all. im literally only going through the motions here. #theres no heart. i left it behind when i got that 2 am call and had to rush to the hospital to watch my dad die. #i left it behind when i touched his cold arm for the last time. when i walked out of that room & knew id never see him again. #i know a week is still far too soon to be over it. but im sick of feeling this way. #it still doesnt feel real. feels like im following the bad end route just to see. i should still be able to reload my past save. #but this is my life now. forever until the end. out of nowhere hes dead and hes never coming back #and it's just really fucking hard to care about just about Anything else right now. #i prommy im gonna use the journal next time i get the urge to vent about this. im sick of this crap too.

[hauntingblue]

The marines calling Roger the worst man of the world is something but considering ace renounced him and luffy kinda blindly admires him bc we don't really know much about what he has done past his travels....

#like i know he wasnt but why then #bc he opposed th government and thats it #and now theyre going to kill his son just because they can #also surprised the d came from aces mother (well considering what she could do...) but i really thought it was bc of roger #even if they keep writing gold roger and not gol d roger but alas #tbh idk if thats just a theory or it has been confirmed but im not there yet #also i wanna know more about aces mom #and the fukcing bubbles of saboady keep haunting me!!!!!! #why is the people so sure that roger was bad what happened #and why is rayleigh alive if rogers family is dead like damn #also fuck!!! the marines know about dragon being luffys dad when iva san said to keep ot quiet!!! because of fucking garp!!!! #like lets kill rogers son but dragons is alright i guess #not like i want luffy to die but considering the revolutionary army you know #a newborn doesnt carry any sins just as boats arent good or evil. thats what im talking about #there arent any love stories in one piece and like i get it but it would be nice to know why ace was even born you know #OH ACE LOOKS LIKE HIS MOTHER OOOOOOHHHHH... THATS A DEATH SENTENCE #he has his mothers eyes what if i shit and cry and throw up #this is sickening also #the hunting pregnant women #the orange clouds looking like fire when ace is born. what if i start to sob #nono gol d ace now.... so they are both d names.... is that like a curse because damn... #also ace being held by his mom with the orange clouds behind again..... i am telling you he is like jesus christ you wouldnt get it #mary did you know your womb was also a tomb etc etc #god.... rogers rivals raising his son. whitebeard wanting him to become pirate king.... his rival's son... old men do not make me cry #buggy opening the doors like moses lmao #ace surprised whitebeard is coming for him.... and not believing luffy came for him either #that was good i cant wait to see more flashbacks but how many episodes will we be here until the thre hours are past. i fear for aces knees #talking tag #watching one piece #episode 460

[scriptedencryptid]

Newly Dead pt. 2

the end didn’t feel right so I made a better one

This was inspired by “The Bastard’s Brother” by FlatApple on AO3

#jordie rietveld #matthias helvar #six of crows #That mountain is me trying to copy one of bob Ross’s paintings #it half worked #They’re both dead #im surprised that #that wasn’t a tag yet #oops spoilers? #crooked kingdom spoilers

[biirdies]

Electrifying! ✨💛

#my art #archie sonic #sonic universe #thunderbolt the chinchilla #sonic the hedgehog #egg bosses #archie comics #SURPRISE BITCH IM NOT DEAD YET #ignore the signature #it’s mine ok

[arolesbianism]

I <3 transmasc Wendy because it adds another thing to the kid who does not know how to handle anything being thrown into everything pile but instead of a thing like dead sister it's the prospect that he kind of likes having short hair and the idea of being a guy and it still makes him feel like the world is ending until suddenly the ppl around him are just like fine with it and everything is like cool actually and he melts over that too until finally he's just a normal baby trans person and can get back to being bad at coping with his other hashtag issues again

#rat rambles #starve posting #like I do have dead serious wendy trans thoughts tm even some that actually relate to his quotes high bar I know gkfndkd #its just so fun reading him as a trans egg thats one breakdown away from being smashed #and also gives me some yummy tasty thoughts abt both wendy and abby and the inivertable fact that as time goes on the only remnant of #abby's face is going to shift and change more until it can no longer even be a reminder of what was lost #which must be a Horrifying idea to wendy even if chances are he hasn't rly internalized this concept yet #and for abby especially if you're like me and go for a more silhouette style ghost design for her youve gotta imagine how fucky it is to #watch your twin grow up and change in ways you never will #Im also a agender abby who will likely never realize believer because shes just like younger me fr #like shes low key just me as a little kid but without the anxiety disorder #anyways back to the topic of wendy genderism Im honestly surprised Ive never seen a he/him wendy hc before #Im not surprised at not finding any trans guy wendys but there rly isnt much variety in nonbinary wendys despite it being fairly common #I just like trans guy wendy cause he gives me those vibes #its the weird little girl to cringe fail trans man pipeline or smth idk #give him a couple years eventually he'll be a grimy lil freak of a teenage boy #if abby didnt die and knew abt gender stuff itd still take her 30 years minimum to even consider she might be not a girl maybe #not because she's hard in denial abt gender stuff shes just is in the classic headspace of 'well I dont Think I care so I must be cis ig' #same with my aro abby hcs but walter is super not helping #as Ive said before they are aro echo chamber besties dont try to tell them romance is real they will not believe you #hey better then whateve the fuck wendy would have to go through if one of the trans men around him offered solidarity #I would rather die than get advice from wilson are you kidding me #the only somewhat normal trans guy there is warly but hes french so it cancels out

[wineonmytshirt]

THIS WOMAN!!! IS AN ARTIST!!!!

#i’m just.. wow and THIS ISNT EVEN THE ALBUM OR SURPRISE YET IM KEJDJDJ #dead & gone & buried etc. #taylor swift #midnights

[lecliss]

Ive only just gotten past Reno's first scene, the conflict at the church, so idk if I got a good first impression of his remake voice or not but like. Jesus christ, no offense to the VA, but that is not fucking Reno. The only thing fine about that voice is the laugh. That was a real Reno laugh, but everything else. Im sorry but its god awful. Maybe if the guy did a better job acting he could properly channel Reno and sound more like him, but that was. A very bad first impression.

#honestly everyone else is fine. the only complaints i have are that cloud doesnt sound dead enough inside and maybe a little too young #i went into the remake expecting to have a meltdown over the new VAs but shockingly theyre not bad. outside reno and my nitpicks over cloud #and when it comes to the ones we havent heard. as much as i love cid's voice. i do think they could find a better guy. so im eager there. #and as long as they can get someone as deep as mr. blum then i GUESS i could settle for a new vincent VA. i guess.... #BUT CAIT BETTER KEEP HIS SCOTTISH ACCENT I SWEAR TO GOD IF HES NOT STILL SCOTTISH IN PART 2. I DONT CARE THAT PEOPLE HATE IT. I LOVE IT!!!! #i have heard ms. yeung already tho and i think shes perfect so no complaints #im just super excited to hear max as red. i know hes gonna nail it. he was the only change i was actually hype for and i wanna #hear it so bad. ive still yet to hear it which is shocking actually considering how many clips of the game ive seen before #gotta keep that one a proper surprise. blow me away mr. mittleman! i know you can do it!!! #personal

[clownkiwi]

sometimes i am still just taken aback by how much of an impact the mother/earthbound series has taken on indie games and video games as a whole

like. if it weren't thanks to mother 2 getting an american release in the 90s, then we wouldnt have undertale, off, yume nikki, lisa: the painful, omori, everhood, hylics

LITERALLy so many rpgs nowadays have at least some deep rooted connections/inspirations to earthbound and earthbound inspired games, i sometimes forget that this series still exists since the last mother game was a japanese-exclusive gba release in the mid-2000s & nintendo. really wants to distance themselves from ever having any involvement in the series (theyve localized mother 1, but not mother 3 yet)

#ruby says clown shit #i mean yea there are other dead and dormant nintendo series that could be talked about but whenever anyone thinks about #90s rpgs that inspired a whole generation of games earthbound is one that comes to mind #and out of any obscure or dead nintendo franchise that had an impact mother had like. the biggest impact out of any #im very surprised nintendo never even greenlight a mother 1/2 remake yet

[robocops-a-christ-allegory]

I need to say I still hate Guy, do not understand what people are talking about when they say he gets better and I wish he was gone. But his fight with Metamorpho in JLE did make me like him just a little bit

I like it when hes rabid.

#blood #Also his friendship with Kilowog #Guy and Kilowog get screentime together and I have to remind myself Guys gonna go back to being a creep to Ice in like 5 minutes #Like 'dont get attached hes gonna say something transphobic soon.' #my main issue with him is everytime something like this happens it doesnt stick #Like its literally part of Guy's character that he just never learns and it is kinda funny but it does make me wish he was dead #sorry if Im wrong and this is actually a big deal I havent read alot past it yet #because reading JLE and JLA is kind of a pain in the ass. #Im assuming they got split up as one of those 'everyone competing for shelf space' situations because theres a crossover every other issue. #Also this feels like horrible graphic violence to me but I think I just still get surprised seeing blood in superhero comics #Like everytime its like WHOA YOURE ALLOWED TO DO THAT????

[musingsofmyown]

I have just discovered that my biological dad is in a nursing home 100+ miles away-

He's 62 and I havent seen him for maybe 4-6 years now so like... that was a shock-

fun times fun times

#Im surprised he's not fuckin dead yet- #He's like 450lbs #smoked cigarettes since he was 9 #legit thought he was dead- #smoking tw

[fluffedstar]

.

#no way she just told me im better off dead ⁉️ #bc i asked a simple question 😭 #hurts ngl #i Wonder if she meant that #hope she didn’t mean it but she also said that she wished i was never born once 😭 #im surprised i haven’t broken down over this yet #my heart is just beating fast #so sorry for anyone reading this 😭

[truethes]

anyway in a more comprehensive post i have to admit that this chapter absolutely has made my muse peek even higher.

#❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜. #spoilers in tags warning! #every day i stray closer to just a sv based mumu but i just love my other muses too much to commit to that </3 #im glad we finally have the confirmation from tana.ka that mikun.is theme in mis.onos ali.ce in wonderland is in fact the queen of hearts. #but there is so. so much to theorise with this #ofc gears already mentioned that werewolves cannot be killed unless you aim straight for the heart #but tou.ma coming back suggests theres also something else under his sleeve. theres an extreme possibility hes going to be okay too #lily being a traitor was honestly? the least surprising bit of info about the chapter bc ive always felt like theres been a possibility ever #since it was revealed he knew what would happen to kur.o when ku.ro made that choice #lilys are in fact poisonous to #both cats and dogs though. so theres something very fascinating going on with that one #i like the fact tanak.a has gone down the path of #yes kur.o and mahi.ru arent here so everything now goes from bad or worse but #there is so much that could happen. theres no one whom i believe is. completely dead yet. #itll be what ends up happening to jej.e and mikun.i that concerns me. #mis.ono you shouldve stayed home!!!! #my mik.uni muse peeked #all my muses ended up nearly dying in the last 10 chapters what does that say about me??????? #UFYVGUFYGVGFY ONLY TSUB.AKI SEEMS OK

[fabulouslygaybean]

well. i don't know if ill be able to get back home after school, because as we were leaving, the road swarmed with cops cus they found a dead fucking body down the street. yay.

#sorry i know this is kinda dark but i am. not having a good time #i wouldn't be surprised if the road gets blocked and we can't get back to the house #or if they're still checking things out by the time im out of school then i doubt my dad would even LET us stay home #they don't know why the guy's dead yet and saying it looks “suspicious” (the only thing cops said abt it) means jackshit #of course it's suspicious. it's a dead body. dead bodies in places they aren't usually supposed to be are suspicious.