#I would rather die than get advice from wilson are you kidding me

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

you’re not the poison; it’s me.

... um. titans 2.07 absolutely WRECKED me you guys, and i would like to tell you why in excruciating detail:

SPOILERS ahead

(and before i go ahead, i just want to say this: this episode deals with ptsd and psychosis and suicidal ideation explicitly, in ways that even i found difficult to watch. it’s very intense. please keep that in mind if you decide to watch it.)

1. usually genre tv shows like to pile on the trauma but deal with its fallout either rarely or in oblique ways--shots of the character brooding, a couple of ‘candid’ talks filled with frustrating euphemisms, then it’s on to tackling the next plot point. not titans tho--for this show, the trauma is very much the point. the plot is wafer-thin and takes a backseat as the show takes episode after episode to break down its central characters and hammer it in that there are no easy fix-its for complex trauma, and that Dealing with it is a continuous, sometimes lifelong process. it forces you to keep re-evaluating and re-contextualising the actions of these characters and challenges your assumptions.

1.5. for instance: let’s take donna troy. in s1 she was the put-together big sister to dick, content with living her life outside the superhero community while giving sound advice to dick about how he can get his own life back on track. now? she’s a stressed, paranoid wreck, plagued by horrible memories and taking her insecurities out on dick and jason and whoever else is available. deathstroke’s machinations aside, there’s something deeply dysfunctional about the way the original titans operated, the ways they brought both the best and the worst out of each other. it seems like none of them really understood the seriousness of what they were doing until they did something truly terrible that they couldn’t take back, and it was earth-shattering enough that donna completely abandoned her old life to live as a civilian. trigon’s vision for her in 2.01 reminded her that she was fooling herself; coming back to titans tower and actually having to face what made her run away in the first place has broken down the walls she’s spent five years putting up. it’s not pretty to watch, but... it tracks.

2. after having written post after post about dick cracking under relentless stress and the weight of his own guilt complex, it was startling to see him actually fall apart. halluci!bruce was absolutely brutal and really brought home the fact that Good Lord, Dick Grayson Is So Far From Okay That It’s Not Even Funny Anymore. 

because here’s the thing: dick is deeply unwell, and however the show proceeds with his character from here on out, this episode made absolutely no bones about that fact. his single-minded dash to find and kill slade is framed as both irrational and suicidal. he’s visibly on edge, bursting into bouts of uncontrollable rage. he’s shown to carry a guilt complex the size of mount everest, to the point where it actually seems delusional. he’s fucking terrified of abandonment, to the point where he’d rather cut off ties on his own rather than have others leave him. he’s constantly berating himself and this doesn’t give him a moment to sit down and think and try to form a rational plan. halluci!bruce even mentions meds and “uppers and downers” to cope, and i am genuinely concerned that that was what dick actually did to cope in the immediate aftermath of whatever the fuck went down with him and joey and deathstroke. maybe it’s ptsd with a secondary psychosis triggered by nearly losing jason the same way he lost his parents (and massive sleep deprivation, i imagine), or maybe there’s another underlying chronic mental illness. either way, he needs help. 

man but halluci!bruce was vicious. if this is what dick has running in his head at all times, no wonder he broods, and no wonder he takes others admonishing his choices with barely any protest! 

2.25. looking at this from a different perspective, tho, here’s another way in which bruce wayne functions as a symbol on this show. phantom!bruce is how dick normally externalises everything he hates about himself, and this dynamic plays out very literally in this episode. 

interestingly, and somewhat heartbreakingly, it took dick accepting and internalising his low opinion of himself and his veritable ocean of guilt for judgy!bruce wayne to turn into loving, concerned!bruce wayne, who would comfort dick and wipe his tears. (it is entirely heartbreaking that that’s what dick subconsciously craves from bruce.) dick must debase himself for love and acceptance. it’s fucking tragic. 

2.55. and what does it mean--for dick and for his friendships with the og titans--that he’s so convinced that they would leave him if he told them the truth about jericho? for one, even back then, it seemed like dick was doing a lot of the emotional labour for the team: as a leader he both funnelled and executed the team’s plans, with responsibility for the fallout falling unevenly and mostly on his shoulders; he acted as the go-between for the team and bruce, for donna and garth, probably for hank and dawn, given he was dawn’s rebound. later, hank and dawn are visibly concerned by how viciously he fights. after re-forming the titans, he continues to shoulder responsibility for the shit-show that deathstroke rains on them, although he didn’t know deathstroke was alive when he re-opened the tower. of course he thinks that the team will think that he’s beyond redemption if they find out the truth; of course he’d want to go and finish off deathstroke on his own--or die in the process--before any of them finds out. 

2.75. but guys, here’s the thing: in spite of all of this, dick grayson still went around to check on conner and jason and assure the latter that he didn’t blame him for running off on his own. he saw jason standing there on a precipice right at the end, and decided he was going to be opaque anymore, or fall back on what he learned from bruce. he sits down with jason and finally divulges the secret that he had been willing to die to protect--making himself vulnerable to save jason’s life. he’s trying so goddamn hard even though his brain is rioting against him right now and probably has been for years. it’s just--i can’t imagine a truer, more sensitive portrayal of dick grayson than this.

3. watching jason reach his breaking point was,,, Not Fun. it’s one thing to be seemingly passed on like unwanted baggage from guardian to guardian. to be viewed with contempt and impatience when he just wants to make sure his voice isn’t lost in the constant shuffle. to be looked at as an impostor by the very people he looks upto. to be assigned the role of hot-headed fuck-up despite all his attempts to be useful, to prove himself. but to have all of that fall on him all at once on top of (poorly) dealing with a near-death experience? yikes.

3.25. and the horrible, tragic, human part of it all is that donna and the others probably didn’t even know what they were doing to jason by piling on him like that? he’s a relative outsider to both rachel and the og titans. he’s an arrogant prick that’s easy to hate. without dick and gar to stand up for jason, he’s cornered by people who haven’t even gotten to the point of seeing him as a vulnerable kid that’s struggling, just like the rest of them.

3.5. and so the two robins perch on the ledge, each convinced that they are poison that will either kill or drive their friends away. it’s a fraught moment of connection that stops jason from jumping, but he doesn’t step away. both of them are on a precipice in more ways than one; i can only hope they help each other land on the right side.1

also, bruce wayne? send your sons to therapy MY GOD

4. kory and rachel using their awesome powers in concert to cure conner! kory using her cultural background to connect to and help conner! conner mumbling in kryptonian! krypto fucking shooting across the sky with eve on his back! in such a sad and intense episode, it’s important to remember that some fantastic things happened as well!

5. here’s the thing: i don’t think dick killed jericho in the way that he probably thinks he does. dick is a hugely unreliable narrator--that’s been his Thing since s1. part of me thinks jericho should be dead; whatever happened with him and the titans has been built up to be such an earth-shattering event that it would kinda be cheating if he survived anyway. the other bigger part of me says: fuck that noise. JOEY WILSON LIVES, and that’s that

6. gar was sleeping? are you kidding me??? i’m assuming deathstroke drugged him or something so that he wouldn’t be there to Talk Sense and stop these melodramatic fools from tearing into each other. i can only hope that there’s some Big Plans for him down the line. 

#titans #titans spoilers #dick grayson #jason todd #donna troy #bruce wayne #cw suicide #cw mental illness #meta

[bloodxs-thicker]

( DAVID CASTAÑEDA, CISMALE, HE/HIM ) — ✧ that looks like KURT ROGERS! they’re the TWENTY-SIX YEAR OLD ADOPTIVE SON of STEVE ROGERS. [ they are also a HERO FOR HIRE & BARTENDER AT JOHNNY’S BAR at paragon. ] i hear they’re DETERMINED & SELFLESS, but tend to be RECKLESS & STUBBORN. his file says that his power is HAEMOKINESIS. { kip, cst, 23, she/her }

filling wcs: theodosia foster-thorsdottir’s best friend who’s helping her raise her son, megan roth’s skeptic, sienna thompkins’ training partner

tw: murder 

Kurt’s earliest memories are of the orphanage so he has absolutely no idea who his birth parents are or what happened to to them. As a result, the people around him and he had no idea that he was actually a mutant until his powers finally emerged.

Growing up Kurt was a very expressive and emotional child, always quick to anger or tears. A lot of the kids in the orphanage and foster homes he was placed in often made fun of him for this which only made controlling his emotions harder.

Never feeling like he belonged in any of the homes he was placed in, Kurt developed a habit of trying to run away often to either find his real family or a family he would actually belong in. He never got that far with any of his run away attempts considering he was very young and not exactly sneaky enough to pull it off.

Because he wasn’t exactly an easy child to handle, he bounced around to quite a few foster homes in his earlier years, only cementing the idea that he didn’t belong in most places.

When he was eight he was finally placed into home where there were no other children. Things seemed to really look up for him from there. He got along with his foster parents and was finally feeling like he belonged until another child entered the picture.

From the very beginning the two never seemed to get along and Kurt always felt as if he was the only one getting in trouble for it which quickly caused his relationship with his foster parents to go downhill. Things only seemed to get worse from there.

TW: One day while his foster mom and sibling were out running errands Kurt got into a very heated argument with his foster dad. Things escalated and got out of hand quickly as his mutation began to manifest. Completely unaware of what he was doing, Kurt began to boil the blood of his foster dad. The confusion surrounding what was happening only caused Kurt to get even more emotional, making his powers spiral out of control. Before he could figure out what was happening or how to stop it, he killed his foster father.

Terrified of what just happened and what would happen when the rest of the family came home, he quickly ran away with nothing but the clothes on his back. With nowhere to go, Kurt roamed the streets for a few months just barely getting by until he was fortunate enough to run into Steve Rogers. While he didn’t trust Steve or know if he should go with him, it was too hard to refuse food and a warm place to sleep for the night.

Kurt rarely said anything and usually tried to spend his time alone while initially staying with Steve, still unsure of what to make of the man who took him in. Over time though, he began to slowly make more conversation with him and spend more time around him.

Though he had warmed up to Steve, the same could not be said about the other people that came into his life. At most gatherings, little Kurt would cower behind Steve until he was finally comfortable enough around the other adults and the kids.

About a year later when he had warmed up to the people around him, he started to worry that he might end up hurting them or worse. Figuring it was safer for everyone if he wasn’t around until he was able to fully understand and control his powers, he attempted to run away. He didn’t get too far before Solveig stopped him right in his tracks. After listening to his explanation between tears that he didn’t necessarily want to leave but felt like he had to, she was able to convince him to stick around and learn to control his powers with his new family.

Deciding to stay, he put all he had into learning everything about his powers and keeping his emotions in check to prevent hurting anyone again. Although he meant well, he took both a bit too far and became rather closed off emotionally. As for his powers, he only practiced on himself which resulted in a few serious trips to the hospital whenever he went a little too far.

Although he has the hang of his powers now, he still hates them and worries about losing control of them again. Losing control is by far his biggest fear and was made worse with the recent gas leak where he lost control of his powers.

While he still remains fairly closed off, even to those he’s closest to, he really does care about his friends and family and will always drop whatever he’s doing to help them out.

Kurt can be extremely reckless, determined, impulsive, and stubborn which very rarely pays off for him. More often than not, he’s getting himself into worse situations and trouble. Since he’s far too stubborn to ask for any help or listen to most advice, he ends up making things a lot harder for himself than necessary. His heart's in the right place but he definitely needs to use his head some more.

He honestly a bit of a hypocrite because while he’s usually putting himself into bad situations, he’s also very much the grumpy dad friend trying to lecture everyone else about being careful.

He doesn’t go out too often so whenever he’s at a party or something it’s 100% because one of his friends dragged him out. You can bet Kurt will complain for at least half the night about it too.

Part of the reason he doesn’t like to go out often is because large crowds make him uneasy. He’s grown more comfortable with them in time, but he’s still not completely comfortable with them.

His rescue pitbull, Baymax, is competing to be the most spoiled dog in the universe. Kurt’s had him for three years now and would much rather hang out with his dog than go out and hang out with a bunch of people.

He’s currently a very very lowkey hero for hire in addition to being a bartender. He’s keeping it pretty lowkey because he’s really not that great at it right now, his recklessness pretty much ensures something goes wrong every time and he’s also trying not to worry anyone about it.

Becoming a hero of sorts was never something he planned on. He always looked up to Steve and admired what he did but never thought it was something he would be cut out for. He’s only recently started because he’s tired of waiting around for other people to do something every time something goes wrong at Paragon.

wanted connections!!!

KURT ROGERS, our DAVID CASTAÑEDA fc is looking for a RIDE OR DIE/BLOOD LINK connection who looks like UTP who is  24-27 YEARS OLD.  you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( i think it’d be cool if they were a kid of sam wilson or another avenger but it’s not necessary. basically kurt has been very close to this person ever since he was adopted and eventually he used his powers to form a blood link with them so they’d always be connected, know when the other was in trouble, ect. i like the idea of them having different personalities to balance each other out like they’re able to get kurt to loosen up and have some fun for a change and kurt can get them to take certain things a little more seriously. i have tons of other headcanons we can discuss before or after you apply! )

KURT ROGERS, our DAVID CASTAÑEDA fc is looking for a COWORKERS connection who looks like UTP who is UTP YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( just give me people who work at johnny’s bar and complain about customers with kurt or bother him about his lack of people skills. )

KURT ROGERS, our DAVID CASTAÑEDA fc is looking for a EX FLINGS connection who looks like UTP who is 23-29 YEARS OLD.  you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( kurt’s not exactly great at communicating things or maintaining romantic relationships with everything else he has going on so he’s had a number of short lived flings in the past. we can plot out all the ends and outs of the relationship if you want before or after you apply! ) (robert banner, & more!)

KURT ROGERS, our DAVID CASTAÑEDA fc is looking for a SERIOUS EX connection who looks like UTP who is 23-29 YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( this was someone kurt fell hard for and put a lot more effort into the relationship than all his previous ones. things got pretty serious between the two to the point kurt was even considering proposing sometime in the nearish future but then the relationship fell apart for one reason or another. it was a somewhat recent breakup so kurt still has some lingering feelings for this person even though he would never admit it. we can plot out more before/after you apply! ) (morgan stark)

KURT ROGERS, our DAVID CASTAÑEDA fc is looking for a SOMEONE THAT STOPPED HIM FROM RUNNING AWAY connection who looks like UTP who is  40+ YEARS OLD.  you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( so kurt tried to run away about a year after getting adopted by steve because he thought he was a danger to the people around him. this person happened to run into little kurt trying to run away and patiently listened to his explanation before convincing him to stay. not wanting steve to find out and feel bad, kurt would have begged this person not to tell him. as kurt has grown up this person has probably been an adult he’s always felt comfortable confiding in whenever something is bothering him and he actually feels like talking about it. ) (solveig carter)

KURT ROGERS, our DAVID CASTAÑEDA fc is looking for a PARTNER/HERO TEAM connection who looks like UTP who is UTP YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( i just need him to have at least a partner while he’s doing heroics, otherwise the big dummy is going to get himself killed.)

KURT ROGERS, our DAVID CASTAÑEDA fc is looking for a CLIENTS connection who looks like UTP who is UTP YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( if your muse needs to hire a hero who is trying his gosh dang hardest but will probably only produce mediocre results, then kurt is your boi.)

KURT ROGERS, our DAVID CASTAÑEDA fc is looking for a OLD CHILDHOOD FRIEND connection who looks like UTP who is 24-27 YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( needs to be a villain/criminal/someone up to some shady stuff. this is someone kurt was friends with when he was kid but then they fell out of touch for whatever reason and haven’t seen each other in years. now they’ve run into each other again but now things are all complicated and messy because kurt is very loyal but also can’t get behind the stuff they’re up to nowadays.)

KURT ROGERS, our DAVID CASTAÑEDA fc is looking for a PERSON TO PATCH HIM UP connection who looks like UTP who is UTP YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( just someone who will patch kurt up on the down-low whenever his hero antics get him injured. bonus points if they constantly lecture him on being more careful. )

KURT ROGERS, our DAVID CASTAÑEDA fc is looking for a SLOW BURN ROMANTIC connection who looks like UTP who is 24-29 YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( kurt isn’t exactly the best at opening up or dealing with his emotions & is still hung up on his most recent ex so it’d take some time to build up. but i’d just love something sweet and soft for him since i usually put him through a lot™ )

I’m always open to any other connections so if you have something you think he’d fit, feel free to hmu whenever!!

#sidekick.intro #murder tw

[jbuffyangel]

Not Enough: Arrow 6x05 Review (Deathstroke Returns)

I am going to be honest. I have a lot of Slade Wilson issues.  So, I wasn't particularly jazzed for "Deathstroke Returns." Some of my issues are addressed, but most are not. Oliver’s reaction to Slade in particular made this a difficult episode for me to enjoy.  Also, most of the twists weren’t very twisty. We could see them coming.

Let's dig in...

Oliver & Slade (and Olicity)

Slade Wilson is one of the best Arrow villains. It's just fact. I appreciate Arrow is striving to differentiate Slade from Adrian Chase by blaming 95% of his S2 actions on the mirakuru. Slade was crazy because of the drugs. Chase was crazy because he was the epitome of all evil.  

Even though I'm not entirely comfortable with the "blame it on the drugs" explanation, I was willing to roll with it. And then... 5x23 happened. It's obvious Arrow is embarking on some kind of redemption like arc with Slade Wilson. That's all fine well and good. It's probably where the character needs to go, especially if the drugs are out of his system.

The bargain Oliver and Slade made in 5x23 was information about Joe in exchange for Slade helping save William. Here's my hang up - I don't think Slade held up his end of the bargain. What did he actually do that saved Oliver's son? He pretended to be evil to trick Boomerang, Talia and Evelyn so Oliver could flip Evelyn like a rag doll. 

Not a horribly impressive move considering she weighs about 90 pounds soaking wet.  

But sure, he helped free Oliver's friends. Plus 20 points.

Then Slade pretended to be evil to trick Black Siren, so she'd take Oliver to the hostages and he could slip Dinah that collar thingy that freed them. Again, I haven't been blown away with BS evil mastermind skills, but sure.

 He helped free Oliver's friends. Plus 20 points.

Slade kicked some ass (along with every other team member).  Plus 10 points. He also gave some incredibly sage advice five years in the making. Plus 50 points.

However, when push came to shove and Oliver really NEEDED Slade to help - he abandoned them all to die. WTF? Minus 500 points.

By the way that includes WILLIAM. Nobody knew William was with Oliver. It's why Samantha went running into the woods in the first place - to look for her son. Oliver was busy facing off with Chase. For all Slade knew, William was in those woods just like Samantha (and the rest of the team) believed. Instead of staying and trying to help save Oliver's son (and every single person he cares about in the world) LIKE HE PROMISED, Slade chose to save his own skin. It was Oliver who found William. It was Oliver who saved William.  The dude is dressed head to toe in KEVLAR and instead three unarmed women, without any protective gear, ran towards 250 bombs to look for a little boy.

Slade wasn't under the effects of the mirakuru. He was just selfish. He was a coward.

This is the kick start to his redemption arc? Am I being too hard on Slade? No. I'm not. 

Slade put a sword through Moira's frigging heart y'all. Her murder scene is the most disturbing death on Arrow. 

Slade Wilson has a lot of work to do before he EARNS (yes earns) Oliver's help. He didn't even come close on Lian Yu.

And you know what? That's not the Slade Wilson I remember from Season 1 and Season 2. The Slade Wilson who was Oliver's friend would have stayed to help. So what is Arrow trying to say? The mirakuru left Slade permanently dark and twisty? He is a monster only when he chooses not be? WHAT? 

There's playing with the grey zone and then there's just sloppy. Slade abandoning the team was unnecessary particularly if Oliver wasn't going to address it in any real way.

Which is exactly what happened tonight.  Slade's son Joe works for Australian Intelligence. Long story short, Joe was at the wrong place and the wrong time and is now serving a life sentence in Kasnia. Slade doesn't need the Green Arrow. He needs Oliver Queen. He wants Oliver to wear a suit, play diplomat and hand over a suitcase of cash to buy his son out of prison.

Oliver primarily hems and haws over helping Slade because of the promise he made to William. I mean, yeah that, but also HE LEFT YOUR FRIENDS TO DIE!!!! ONE OF THEM DID DIE!!! ONE OF THEM IS IN A COMA OLIVER!!!! ALSO SLADE KILLED YOUR MOTHER. YOU COULD SET THE BAR A LITTLE HIGHER HERE FELLA!!!!!

It's actually Felicity who convinces Oliver to go. 

Yup, you read that right. 

Source: oliverxfelicity

Oliver is so me in this conversation. 

I get that Felicity is looking beyond Slade to Joe. From her perspective, Oliver is helping an innocent man. It's not about Slade Wilson. It's not fair to punish the son for the father's sins. Pretty much the theme of the show. I'm with Felicity on her thinking here and God bless this human personification of rainbows for taking the higher road.

It's just.... SLADE HELD A SWORD TO HER THROAT. HE LEFT FELICITY FOR DEAD. 

I know Arrow relies heavily on Felicity to sell storylines, but this particular conversation felt like a stretch. Yes, even though it's Felicity. Perhaps it's my own Slade anger transference and I'll own that. 

I would have been perfectly okay with Felicity saying, "Tell Slade to go screw himself. Let's pack for Aruba baby." 

Source:westallenolicitygifs

This is why I am not a hero. I am really okay with that though.

That's also not the character and I understand that. The advice probably carries more weight with Oliver (and is the very definition of selfless) because it does come from Felicity. If there's anyone who Oliver needs the okay from to go - it's her. He also needs the okay from Thea, but she's in a friggin coma. Thanks for nothing Slade.

Thus, Oliver boards the plane with Slade and hijinks ensue. I'm just gonna give you the run down because the level of predictability in "Deathstroke Returns" is incredibly high.

When Oliver arrives at the prison he's told Joe is dead. Joe is not dead.

Slade's "friend" Nylander is not his friend. He works from The Jackals -  group that "kidnaps" Joe from the prison.

Joe was not kidnapped from prison. He is the leader of The Jackals.

DUN DUNN DUNN!!!! This revelations were shocking to absolutely no one.

Slade does keep to one of the bargains he made with Oliver. He refuses to let Oliver "suit up" in any way.  When Oliver insists on helping rescue Joe from the Jackals, Slade drugs him.  HA! Classic. I’m slightly less crabby with you Wilson, but only slightly.

He even leaves Oliver a little glass of water for when he wakes up. See? Slade is good! REDEMPTION ARC COMPLETE.

That's not to say Slade doesn't exhibit some guilt - just not over abandoning everyone on Lian Yu. Initially, Slade has no intention of seeing Joe once he's freed from prison. Slade doesn't believe he has a right to.  

"I gave up my right to be his father when I stepped out of the light into the shadows and became this monster."

Oliver argues Slade isn't Deathstroke anymore. He thinks Slade is the man he was before. And THIS is where I have the problem. 

This is Oliver blatantly ignoring what Slade did on Lian Yu. I honestly cannot fathom why. This is one of the most frustrating things about Arrow. They often ignore their own canon for the sake of driving the plot forward. It creates massive plot holes and makes the behavior of your lead character inexplicable.

Except, these issues are totally unavoidable. If the goal is to redeem Slade Wilson THEN REDEEM HIM. Use 5x23 to really kick off the arc that will complete in 6x05 and 6x06. Abandoning everyone on the island was completely unnecessary. Particularly if it wasn't going to hold any real consequences for Slade and Oliver's relationship. 

Oliver not even broaching the subject with Slade is infuriating. What's more it makes Oliver's attitude towards him, and blind trust, completely baffling.  Oliver is all in on "it was the drugs" to explain away Slade's behavior, but that doesn't apply to what happened on Lian Yu. Yet, Oliver is standing here arguing Slade is a changed man. 

Source: felicitysmoakgifs

Me neither Felicity. There's a difference between being honorable and being a pansy. Oliver, you are being the latter.

Arrow has a habit of telling rather than showing. If you are going to write a redemption arc we need to see the change. Not be told there is change. The man Arrow is telling us Slade is isn't jiving with the Slade Wilson we see. You can play with the grey areas of the character without making him a despicable person. I'm not really interested in Slade's redemption after the events of Lian Yu, because I no longer buy that it's the mirakuru that makes Slade act like a monster. I think he just chooses to be one whenever it suits him. He chooses to be a nice guy when it suits him. These are not markers of redemption. These are markers of a manipulative and selfish human being.

At least Diggle and Felicity take a moment to remark on how uncomfortable it makes them that Oliver is helping Slade.

DIGGLE!!!! MY MAN!!! 

Of course, Felicity's agreement here makes her early conversation with Oliver even more confusing. 

Source: felicitysmoakgifs

Would it have killed the writers to include some of Felicity's reservations in her discussion with Oliver? It would have been nice to hear Oliver's perspective on what Slade did on the island.  Instead, we get Diggle and Felicity saying, "Yup. He left us for dead. Oliver is helping him. That sucks." And... that's it. That's not addressing the issue in any real way.

The flashbacks with Slade and his son are interesting, but in an incredibly sad way. 

Source: twitter.com

Slade lies to Joe about what he really does for living. He tells his son that he works for an airline and that’s why he has to go away all the time. Joe knows Slade is lying because kids know when they are being lied to. It created a distance between father and son long before Deathstroke came into the picture.

It's so much worse than lying though. The camping trip isn't just a way for Slade to spend time with Joe. He's on a mission tracking the man who took Yao Fei to Lian Yu. There's living a dual life and then there's Slade Wilson. 

Perhaps Slade isn't the person you should be listening to when it comes to fatherhood and dual lives Oliver.

Slade kills the man after he tells him where Yao Fei was taken. There's a rustling in the bushes and I promise you Joe Wilson watched his father kill somone. Trust me. I have a unique skill for figuring out the obvious plot developments everyone else has already figured out. STICK WITH ME KIDS!

The point is to create a contrast between William/Oliver and Slade/Joe. Oliver worries he'll have to break his promise to William (risk his life and be out in the field)  to help Slade. It's nice Oliver can see the obvious plot developments coming too.

Source: oliverxfelicity

Felicity, in her never ending wisdom, tells Oliver to be honest with William. Maybe not tell him the full story, we are trying to decrease William’s nightmares and therapy bills, but enough of the story so he can understand. 

This is a key piece to parenting. You don't need to lie to your kids. You also don't need to tell them the truth about absolutely everything - particularly when they are too young to hear it. However, there is a middle ground. Your responsibility as a parent is to find it. You need to tell your child the truth in a way they will understand it and is age appropriate. Oliver doesn't need to go all or nothing here. He simply needs to offer William the truth he will understand - and has a right to know.

This is how Oliver includes William in his dual life without separating him from it with lies. Oliver is keeping William safe, but he's also not closing his son off to who his father truly is. This is the mistake Slade made with Joe.

Source: oliverxfelicity

Look at his face. Smoaked again. Oliver, your ability to successfully parent William depends greatly on Felicity’s co parenting. Marry this woman immediately you love sick puppy.

Is Slade Wilson redeemable? I don't know. The events on Lian Yu bother me as much as Moira's death. At least Slade acknowledges what he did to Moira, but I feel like that sets a very low redemption bar for one Arrow’s greatest villains.

Hopefully, next week is the stronger of this two part episode. Joe takes Slade and Oliver hostage at the end of “Deathstroke Returns.” We're supposed to worry Slade will turn on Oliver next week with that unbelievably heavy handed promo. He won't. We know he won't. However, I don't know if that's enough for me. I need more Slade Wilson. A lot more.

Dinah and Vigilante

The identity of Vigilante is... Vince. Dinah's old partner and boyfriend. You know, the one she thought was dead and became a vigilante to avenge? Again, a plot development most people saw coming. 

It's a bummer because I was really looking forward to a shocking reveal. Dead lovers not being dead is the least shocking thing about Arrow.

Vince was changed by the dark matter like Dinah was. He's able to heal, which he shows by taking a bullet in the head and being absolutely fine. Makes me wonder why he needs all the Kevlar, secret identity notwithstanding.

Dinah spends most of the episode really ticked off. 

Source: twitter.com

Hell yeah girl.

The man she loved let her believe he was dead for the last four years. #TeamDinah. If that wasn’t bad enough, Dinah became someone she didn’t recognize after Vince died. She did a lot things she regrets. Team Arrow, and Oliver, gave Dinah a purposeful and focused way to channel her grief and anger.  However, she carries guilt for the choices she made before Team Arrow.

Dinah's justification for those choices, maybe the one thing that helped her live with it, was Vince's death. Now Dinah feels even worse about the decisions she made because Vince is alive.

He is alive though. A fact Diggle points out. Yes, he's not dealing with a full deck, but John does push Dinah to recognize the miracle in Vince's reappearance. Dinah still loves Vince no matter how angry she is at him.

This hits Diggle squarely in the Andy zone. 

He reacted to Andy's arrival the same way Dinah is reacting to Vince. That anger led Diggle down a very dark path, 

so he really is the best person to try to help Dinah see beyond her anger. She does eventually open up to Diggle and tells him about the little paper roses Vince use to make for her. However, Dinah doesn't seen anything left of the man she used to love.

Vince's explanation for staying away from Dinah was that he couldn't be distracted from the mission. They didn't accomplish anything as cops and being a vigilante, this kind of vigilante, is the only way to make a difference.

Dinah lets Vince go and obviously John was right. She does still love him. Vince leaves Dinah a little paper rose later on as a signal to her, and to us, that he's not just a monster. The man she loved is still in there somewhere.

Did this episode get me invested in Dinah and Vince? Eh. No.

There wasn’t enough there, not yet, but I'm willing to let this play out and see where goes.

Adrian Chase's twin would have been awesome though.  I miss Josh Segarra.

Stray Thoughts

Dinah changes into BC to face off with Vince while the FBI and SCPD crawling everywhere. I still don't know how she did it. Is there a phone booth nearby?

Because of her wardrobe change, Agent Watson quickly deduces Dinah went missing when BC showed up. This woman uses a lot of logic. She can stay.

Source: felicitysmoakgifs

Felicity is ready to lie under oath to be Oliver's alibi for all the nights he was Green Arrow-ing. RIDE OR DIE! THAT’S MY SHIP!

But also we need to get some spousal privilege rolling.

"I was subpoenaed. I gotta go right?" LOL! Rene you precious child.

Alright, I admit I didn't realize it was Vince at first because I didn't recognize the actor. I really needed the flashback.

Felicity used her key. I AM EMOTIONAL.  Source: felicitysmoakgifs

“I ask myself that every day." Oliver has this husband thing down. Just keep doing this and you'll make 50 years no problem, kiddo. Source: westallenolicitygifs  

William calling dad to check in was the cutest. I'm a total sucker for all this father son bonding

Delicity is friendship goals.  Source: westallenolicitygifs

Vince looks a little like Alaric from The Vampire Diaries. I keep doing double takes.

Slade using the sword to kill all those guys gave me Moira death scene flashbacks. It was unnerving.

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 6x05 episode gifs credited.

#arrow #slade wilson #oliver queen #olicity #dinah drake #arrow spoilers #john diggle #arrow reviews #season 6 episode review #arrow 6x05 #arrow season 6 reviews #arrow season 6 episode reviews

[douchebagbrainwaves]

HOW TO THE RESOURCEFUL

0 so much. Cobol. It's no coincidence that startups start around universities, because that's where this idea seems to live. Why does it bother adults so much when kids do things reserved for adults? I derived from it. Something that used to be. I was in college I used to think I wanted to work in software. An idea from one area might spark a great discovery in another. The very design of the average site in the late 90s was an abuse.1 But if you have a choice of several languages, it is, all other things being equal, a mistake to write your whole program by hand in machine language. I'm using the word lie in a very general sense: not just overt falsehoods, but also all the more surprising because I'd only applied for three.

I think, without macros? Among other things, he tells would-be hackers what languages they should learn. But this process builds up waste products that ultimately require extra oxygen to break down, so at the end of each chapter was just some advice about solving them.2 There are really two variants of that question, and the advertisers will follow. But why do we conceal death from kids? 0 seemed to mean was something about democracy. With server-based apps get released as a series of patches. I know, including me, actually like debugging. The way to get fast applications is to have a say in running the company; don't make a high-end product; don't let your code get too big; don't leave finding bugs to QA people; don't go too long between releases; don't isolate developers from users; don't move from Cambridge to Route 128; and so on. For example, dating sites currently suck far worse than search did before Google.

They're like dealers; they sell the stuff, but they know better than to use it more than that. I was persistent, but I think this is identical to the question, how do you design a good programming language? The trends we're seeing now are simply the inherent nature of the web emerging from under the broken models that got imposed on it during the Bubble, especially in companies run by business types, who thought of software development as something terrifying that therefore had to be something that is really just a bunch of kids playing house with money supplied by VCs. Companies that try to pretend nothing has changed risk finding that their competitors do not.3 I was 13 that TV was addictive, so I figured it had to be something that you do not, ordinarily, want to program in anything but the most powerful reasonably efficient language you can get. This is not just that the axioms be well chosen, but that it's obvious. We weren't writing this code for our own amusement. It's no coincidence that startups start around universities, because that's implicit in making something customers want is to get a job.4 Now people are saying the same things about Arc that they said at first about Viaweb and Y Combinator, and most acquirers care about patents. Between Perl 4 and Perl 5, lexical closures got added to the language. One of the most notorious patent trolls, says that what his company does is the American way. It shouldn't take more than a way to generate ideas for startups, but most of the startups we've funded about them, and despite years of experience I'm still not always sure I'm giving the right advice.

Nearly all of it falls short of the editor-damped writing in print publications. Business is a kind of semantic deficit spending: they knew new things were coming, and the second is whatever specific lies Xes differentiate themselves by believing. Kids often want to be lied to.5 We knew that everyone else was writing their software in C. I was, I thought, a complete skeptic.6 As long as we're talking about the future, we had 1070 users. If you drink too much, you can probably keep a few things we can say with certainty. What about using it to write software that would let end users build online stores. I'd gradually find myself using the Internet still looked and felt a lot like work.7

The whole room gasped.8 Innocence is also open-mindedness.9 A big chunk of our code was doing things that are arbitrary, and believe things that are false, and being publishers gives them no particular head start in that domain.10 By induction, the only programmers in a position to see all the differences in power between the various languages are those who understand the most powerful language available.11 0 meaning the web as a platform, which I can still only just bear to use without scare quotes. A restaurant with great food seem to prosper no matter what you do.12 Of the anaesthesia itself. The key seems to be a CS major to be a good guy.

Never send them email unless they explicitly ask for it explicitly, but ordinarily not used.13 Julian thought we ought to value the company at several million dollars. That might have been ok if he was content to limit himself to talking to the press, and if you're 21, hiring only people younger rather limits your options. It helped us to have Robert Morris, and he pointed out that operator overloading is a bigger deal than getting money from angels. And users will gradually seep over to you.14 When you work on overlooked problems, you're more likely to double your sales.15 By the time journalists covering the press release got round to calling us, we had 1070 users. The initial reaction to Y Combinator was almost identical.16

The serious hacker will also want to learn C, in order to store something for them.17 We weren't sure at the time, she wouldn't buy it. Another place democracy seems to win is in deciding what counts as news. And the crude version 1, then f iterating rapidly. If you write in Latin, no one will sue you for patent infringement before they'd even released a product. The slower you burn through your funding, the more willing they seem to have any intellectual descendants. Paul Allen started Microsoft. Well, not really.

It would be too easy for clients to fire them.18 We were a tiny startup, programming as hard as we could in order to hack Unix, and Perl for system administration and cgi scripts. I'm a little embarrassed to say, are evil. Is software a counterexample? When I look back at photos from the 1970s, and there were conventions about how to do it in a startup, don't feel that it has started to mean something. What really bothers parents about their teenage kids have sex—indeed, where it's normal for 14 year olds to become mothers.19 That's what makes sex and drugs so dangerous. And yet Bill Gates was 19 when he and Paul Allen started Microsoft. Is there a God?

Notes

Give the founders: agree with them in their heads, which make investments rather than making the things we focus on their companies took off?

I'm convinced there were some good ideas in the fall of 2008 but no one who's had the discipline to pull ahead in the first half of it. What they forget is that if you are not in the first type, and owns significant equity in it, Reddit has had a day job. Whereas the activation energy for enterprise software sold through traditional channels is very common for founders; if they want. The founders who go on to the environment.

I'd encourage anyone starting a company becomes big enough to invest at a Demo Day or die. Robert Morris wrote the recommendations. The University of Vermont, 1991. I've twice come close to the wealth they generate.

That's why Kazaa took the place for people interested in graphic design.

No central goverment would put its two best universities in your next round.

Proceedings of AAAI-98 Workshop on Learning for Text Categorization. One professor friend says that I know one very successful YC founder told me that if you start to leave. With the good groups, you should prevent your beliefs about how to value valuable things. But in this they're perfect.

When we work with founders create a silicon valley. Which is why search engines are so intellectually dishonest in that it killed the best approach is to ignore what your GPA was. The nationalistic idea is stone soup: you are.

So much better that you should start if you do. Vision research may be enough to become addictive. This is why it's next to impossible to succeed at all. Look at what adults told children in the sense of being back in high school junior.

Fifty years ago. Several people have historically done to painting may be overpaid.

There are circumstances where this is: we currently filter at the start, e. A professor at a pre-money valuations of funding rounds are at least on me; how could it have meaning? Microsoft, would not be to say whether the 25 people have told me about a form that asks for your present valuation is fixed at the valuation of the reason for the explanation of a press hit, but I couldn't convince Fred Wilson to fund them.

Or more precisely, while everyone else books a package tour. A variant is that if you seem like I overstated the case of heirs, professors, politicians, and mostly in less nerdy fields like finance and media.

Because we want to pound that message home. Sites that habitually linkjack get banned. It rarely arises, and outliers are disproportionately likely to be about 50%. That's very cheap, 1/10 success rate is a facebook exclusively for college students.

This is not such a baleful stare as they turn from their screen to answer the first million is worth more, because outsourcing it will almost certainly overvalued in 1999, it will become less common for the first half of the present day equivalent of the people working for me was the last step in this essay, I didn't care about the other: the energy they emit encourages other ambitious people together. I realize I'm going to kill. The worst explosions happen when unpromising-seeming startups that have it as if a third party like YC is involved to ensure there are only locally accurate, because the rich paid high taxes? I'm making, though, so they will or at least consider going into the intellectual sounding theory behind it.

Y Combinator.

Einstein, Princeton University Press, 1981. In Russia they just don't make an effort to be about 200 to send a million spams. Could you endure studying literary theory, combinatorics, and we don't have one clear inventor. There is a convertible note with no environmental cost.

This is why, when the audience gets too big for the spot very easily. It's to make more money was to reboot them, if you get a low valuation to see the Valley.

A professor at a friend's house for the most famous example. The image shows us, they don't want to approach a specific firm, get rid of everyone else microscopically poorer, by decreasing the difference between good and bad outcomes have origins in words about luck. Not surprisingly, these are, but that we are not written by the government, it will seem like a loser or possibly a winner.

But let someone else created earlier. Applying for a sufficiently identifiable style, you can ask us who's who; otherwise you may have been the fastest to hire, and each night to make you expend on the spot very easily. Cit.

On the other hand, he wrote a hilarious but also like an in-house VC fund they outsource most of the reason this subject is so we should work like casual conversation. Parents can sometimes be especially skeptical about Viaweb too. Now we don't use code written while you were still so small that no one else involved knows French.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #room #Combinator #people #things #night #sup #code #start #startups #democracy #language #VC #say #software #type #Never #print #funding #Cit #advice #idea #product #Press #sites #success

[theliterateape]

Best of Literate Ape 2018 | Don Hall Dies & Other High Points

By David Himmel

Sometime before dawn on August 24, 2016, I wrote Don Hall an email. The subject was, “The Fate of Creativity, the Need for True Journalistic or Gritty Commentary, The Focus of Far too Much Anger.” It was 956 words long and it was glorious. That is, if you will define glorious as the controlled rantings of a wily madman hopped up on early morning java and amphetamines. It was my pitch to him that we partner up and do some kind of literary, artful thing. I asked him out for a beer so we could discuss the idea.

Long story short, that’s how we got to the Literate Ape you see today. Fiction, poetry, commentary, quips, events, podcasts, a stable of thoughtful, talented, funny writers. And sometimes, enough money in the bank to pay those writers. We’ve come a ways and we’re not even close to where we want to be, but by golly, we’re sure as fuck getting there. These things take time. And while considering time…

2018 was a good year for The Ape. As Hall and I bait the internet for search results, we’re offering up our year-in-review, Best of The Ape. He has his opinions and I have mine. And if they differ, well, that’s what oftentimes makes us a great team.

David Himmel’s Best of The Ape 2018

Don Hall 1966–2018

My favorite moment this year was when I killed off Don Hall. It was true fiction based on fact that never occurred because I believe that what I wrote is exactly how Hall could have died and one day should die. Raging out over rage profiteering seems likely, and it was an accidental metaphor for precisely what’s wrong with a small, but noisy corner of our modern culture. Furthermore, it was our second most-read piece of the year — just 40 views shy of Bill Arnett’s Breaking Down the 2nd Amendment. It’s not that I want Hall to die, rather, I’d love the guy to live forever, but I know that this April Fool’s post gave many in that small, but noisy corner hope that their enemy had been vanquished. And that it wasn’t true, that they took the bait still makes me smile. Granted, there were those who did not like this post. His wife, Dana Jerman, for one. Bill Kurtis and Donna LaPietra were annoyed with me. But come on… I had him shit himself: “The apartment stunk. It stunk bad. Like hot milk and scorched opossum innards. Don had shit his pants.” That’s funny. I don’t care how heartbreaking Hall’s demise will be. Poop in pants is always funny.

Fast & Short: A Flash Fiction Collaboration | Love Curse

This was an experiment. Get eight of our writers to collaborate on a short story, each writer adding their own spin in flash fiction form. The individual submissions on their own are fun to read, and the larger, completed piece is equally as interesting. As the editor, I had a few moments wondering how the next piece would keep everything connected, but that was one main reason for doing this at all. We wanted to scratch our heads and wonder where it was going. So much writing out there is expected and safe. Love Curse, and its parts, is not going to change the way fiction is written or read, but at least it offers hard turns on gravely roads that still get us to our destination. Best of all, it allowed our writers to work together for the greater good of Literate Ape — the shrewdness united in one goal with many different points of view and voices. I think it’s a good example of what America ought to be more like.

I Will Let Go of Straws When You Let Go of the Bloated Corpse of Capitalism

Kari Castor’s disquisition against the straw ban was beautiful. As the debate over whether keeping plastic straws would kill us or if banishing them from eateries everywhere would save us raged on, Castor jumped in with a piece of journalism that was well-researched, persuasive and entertaining. And of course, it was riddled with that wonderful Castor wit we’ve come to love so dearly here at The Ape. In this story, Castor does more than just destroy the take that a straw ban is sensical or beneficial in any real way; she brings down the all-too common school of thought that popping zits will cure your acne. Little bricks build a big house, yes, but sometimes, thinking too small is just naval-gazing. The piece comes with a long headline, which is not good for click bait or search results, but that’s not how we do things here. Although, maybe we should have used the four stand-alone words Castor used in the third paragraph as the headline: “Fuck your straw ban.” It says exactly what it needs to on a variety of levels and it is perfectly and gracefully Kari Castor. 

For the Love of Little Broken Things: A Chicago Hairstylist Emerges After Fire

Another piece I’m proud of with another long headline. I don’t choose this because I wrote it. I choose it because the story it tells is a good story. It’s one of true grit — the kind Chicagoans ubiquitously pound their chests about, the kind Carl Sandburg and Mike Royko and Studs Terkel wrote about. Reporting on Cassie Krepel’s story made way for Literate Ape to reach a new audience thanks to Krepel’s sharing of the story, which is important if this thing is going to thrive. And, I hope, it helped Chicago meet this neighborhood workhorse and drive some business to Krepel’s Little Broken Things studio. I’m now a dedicated customer. She cuts good hair and the place is exactly what you want in a neighborhood business: down-to-earth, friendly and interesting. Plus, Krepel digs The Ape and supports us by reading our stuff, promoting our writers’ books and attending events — how about that! After leaving the initial interview at LBT with Jerman, I said to her, “Little Broken Things is like Literate Ape — if Literate Ape did hair and had a storefront.” It’s cool to have a friend in town.

Letters to Harrison Himmel

Whenever writers of The Ape are together, I feel good about what we’re doing. Whether it’s with collaborative projects or at our events like BUGHOUSE!, herding the writers into a room to meet each other and participate in literary shenanigans is ultimately the thing that keeps me from calling up Hall and saying, “Fuck it. This is stupid.” I like our little community and I like how it’s growing and I like how, as time goes on, we’re all going to become more invested in each other’s success and the collective success of The Ape. But as it relates to our personal successes, I can find no better example than when Hall and Brian Sweeney — completely exclusive from one another — offered up advice to my son shortly after he was born. If anyone on this planet is ever going to make the most of their time here, they need good people. They need to feel loved and looked after and know there are people who have their back. And this is how they learn to love and be kind. My son has that. When I read Hall’s A Few Pieces of Unsolicited Advice to Young Prince Harry Himmel, I got misty-eyed. The same thing happened when I read Sweeney’s Advice and Wisdom to Baby Himmel. Not only did these two pieces reveal that Harry already had a support system outside of his bloodline, but it also revealed that the two writers knew and understood Harry’s parents. Things like this make all the difference in a person’s life. And with advice from Sweeney like, “Ghosts are real. The ghosts of your ancestors are around you at all times and they watch you changing clothes and they jack off. They watch you go to the bathroom and they jack off. When you sleep, they watch you and jack off. When you wake up in the morning and have crust in your eyes, that's the ghost cum of your ancestors,” and Hall’s “If you only have one thing you are passionate about and talk about and write about, don't get upset when people stop inviting you over for ‘game night’,” I know my kid is going to be A-OK. 

Bonus — American Shithole by Eric Wilson

Eric Wilson’s writing reminds me of that of Hunter S. Thompson. It’s insightful and funny without being jokey. I read Wilson, and like when I read Thompson, I am inspired to be a better writer. Wilson is ripe with rage but manages to hone it into prose that is smooth yet cutting. Beyond that, I appreciate the guy. He’s a new friend I haven’t met in-person yet, and he’s already managed to find his way into the acknowledgments of my latest book.

✶

There you go. This co-editor’s picks for what made another year of Literate Ape worthwhile. Of course, I’m proud of everything we publish and I hope you’ll keep reading, spreading the word and enjoying what we’re all doing here. And to the Apes who dump their brains and hearts and guts out on the keyboards, thank you. All of you. Even if you didn’t make the list this year, none of this shit we’re flinging matters without you.

#David Himmel #Best of Literate Ape #straw ban #fuck your straw ban #Broken Little Things #Brian Sweeney #Kari Castor #Don Hall #2018 Year in Review #American Shithole