#it was covid high school okay we all had to make do | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cupoftaae · 1 year

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Heyy! Love your work💜 Could you maybe write something fluffy, where tae is y/n’s comfort and she goes to him after a bad day🫶🏻

Hello there! AW, thank you for reading!

Fluffy taehyung is my weakness, I hope you enjoy anon :)

warnings- mentions of weed, swearing. Soft taehyung needs his own warnings tbh. also this takes place as if they were both like, 19-20 ish ....KIND OF FRIENDS TO LOVERS LOWKEY

wanna build a pillow fort? -KTH drabble

you werent sure how you had landed in this position in the first place, but here you were, sitting in the living room while your parents explained to you that...well...the college you had been praying to get into one day had declined you.

"are you sure?" you whispered, watching your dad show you the letter. You sighed, trying to hold back any signs of emotion. You had taken a gap year between graduating high school to now, just to grasp your bearings. You put all your energy into working and getting into school, but the universe had other plans.

"I know you wanted this so badly, y/n, im sorry" your mother sat down next to you. "What am I gonna do? I had no backup plan..." your face falls into your hands. "your so young, you have time. you can also sign up to take classes, you dont need to be a student" your mom adds.

"but I wanna be a student, thats the whole point."

"listen, I know this is stressful, but just go get some rest and maybe we can figure out a new plan tomorrow? ok?" your father stands up, looking at you sadly.

You shrugged, knowing that they were just trying to help, but there was no way out of this, you were fucking upset.

Once you had gotten into your room, slamming your door shut, you collapsed onto your bed and took 5 deep breathes, you didnt want to cry. You were a big girl now and crying over school was dumb. You just wanted to be with someone right now, and your best friend was 3 streets over, making things difficult.

You could invite him over, but your father wasnt too pleased to see him late at night the last time he was here. He had walked in and alerted your dog, making him bark until your parents came downstairs, freaked out. They also just dont like the idea of a boy being in your room, despite the fact you are 19, and have been friends with taehyung since you were little....there were absolutely no feelings like that showing up... at least thats what you chose to believe.

You quickly texted him just to see if he was even up to hang.

You: wyd

Tae: making ramen, wbu?

you smiled and chose to ignore his message, making the quick decision to grab your jacket and sneak out your window. Youve only done this one other time, and it was when you had covid and your friend Vanessa dropped off chipotle outside on your side of the house for you.

You prayed to God that your parents had no installed cameras, because one, you didnt want to get caught, and two, you fell on your ass on the way out. "Jesus christ" you scoff, getting up and making a dash to taehyungs house in the dark.

Taehyung was standing in the kitchen and dancing to music with his dog, making his little paws move according to the choreography. "Why are you making food so late?" Taehyungs mother spoke, coming into the room to fill up her tea. "because its friday.." he mumbled, mouth full of noodles.

"Okay" she laughed and shook her head, "just clean up, yeah? oh, an-"

his mother was cut off by the front door being knocked on, "who is here at this hour?" she whispered, walking over to look through the peep hole. She sarcastically looked back at taehyung, "why is y/n on my front step?" she smirked.

"she is??" he walked over to the door.

"you know if you wanted to plan a date, I could have made real food for you guys"

"mom stop" he shyly shushed her before opening the door.

"hello" you mumble, bowing at the presence of his mother.

"Hey, y/n...is everything alright?" he asks, his mother gently pulling you inside. "its almost 11 dear" she spoke.

"Im ok, Im just needing some time out of my house, I hope im not intruding?"

"oh no, no, sweetie youre good" she smiled and closed the door.

Taehyung hugged you and glanced at his mom

"i'll be upstairs if you need anything" she spoke, grabbing her tea and walking upstairs before yelling "Be good, just not too good"

He laughed and pulled away to look at you. "Not that I mind your presence, but...why are you here?"

you giggled as he took your coat and hung it up. "well....I uhm" you looked around before sitting on the edge of the couch. "I didnt get in" you shrugged, forced smile on your face.

"hm? what are you talking about?" he stands in front of you

"I received a letter in the mail today from HUFS, and it was declining my application" you speak softly, watching him frown.

"y/n...Im so sorry"

"its okay, its just a lot, but i'll be fine."

He kneeled in front of you and held your hands, "you know...its okay to be sad, right?" he whispers, "that was your dream school.."

you nodded, wanting to sink into the floor the moment you felt tears prickling your eyes. "I know, but...something new will come. I just really wanted to be like you, in school and working towards my degree already, you know?" you shrug.

he nods, "I know, but.." he squeezed your hands, "life isnt a competition, we all do things when the universe pulls us in that direction. Its ok this didnt work out, maybe it was for the best. I know you, y/n, and whatever you do in life is going to be fucking amazing, no doubt about it. So be sad, mourn what you will miss, but dont let it hold you back."

you nodded as tears escaped your eyes, small cries falling from your lips as he immediately held you up and wrapped you into his arms. "Its okay....I promise" he coo'd, hand brushing your hair as you finally let yourself feel upset.

"thank you" you sniff, wiping your eyes as you hold him.

"cmon, lets go eat junkfood and build a fort" he squeezed your waist, making you blush slightly as you followed him to the kitchen. "a fort?" you asked, eyes still wet.

"mhm, with like the pillows and stuff" he spoke, taking another bite of noodles.

you giggle, "ok"

You two sat under a giant pillow fort, with a blanket over the head for the roof. "I have to say, your pillow fort making skills have improved. Remember when we were little and it would always collapse on us?" you snorted, nudging him.

"I have improved and grown in many ways, trust the process of time" he joked, taking a bite of the chip in his hand.

He definitely had grown and improved, taking a moment to look over his face proves the fact that Taehyung had matured quite nicely at that.

"dont stare its rude" he teased, finding something to watch on youtube.

You shake your head, "sorry" you lean over to lay beside him so you can see the screen of his laptop.

"Your parents wont like...kill me...if they find out you spent the night, right?"

you giggle, "am I spending the night?"

"well, you dont have to, I just assumed because its already 1am and its not safe for you to be out and about"

you shook your head, "what? so I dont have what it takes to fight off street hagglers?"

"oh you do, Im keeping you off the street for their safety" he spoke seriously, making you laugh.

"mm, and no, my parents arent gonna do anything, I dont think....maybe.....you know what? I dont know"

"oh that makes me feel good" he fake pouts

"Im teasing, im 19 and they need to get over keeping me locked up all the time..." you play with the fabric of the blanket.

"I think your dad hates me, dude" he sighed, shutting his laptop and leaving you both to lay in the dark as you looked up at the green blanket roof.

"shut up, he does not"

"He told me that he didnt want me showing up there anymore"

"thats because it was 4am and you scared the dog, I told you to come in through the window you fucking dumbass" you joked, "he also caught you with weed, so there you go"

"hm, fair I guess" he sighed

"he doesnt hate you I promise" you turned on your side to face him, not realizing how close your faces were.

He turned his head, noses barley touching as you both looked over each others faces in the dark.

"are you feeling better?" he whispered

"yeah...yeah I am" you mumbled, wanting to pull away but also choosing to stay put.

"good" he smiled and turned his body so it was also laying on his side, facing you.

"Y/n?" he asked

"yeah?"

"is it ok if I kiss you?"

you felt your hear stop in your chest, what did he just ask you?

"w-what?" you look at him, eyes wide

"I asked if I could kiss you?" he repeated, voice so soft and quiet. "its ok to say no" he added.

you took a breath, realizing that in moments like this, you really have to be honest with yourself and stop saying you aren't attracted to him, because here he is, in front of you, asking to kiss after taking his time to make you feel better. You can only hold on to your discipline so much before you fold.

"yeah...yeah you can kiss me, tae" you exhale, shocked the words even came from your mouth.

His large hand came up to hold your face delicately, thumb brushing your skin as you both leaned in slowly until each others lips clashed. The feeling felt a lot more natural than you anticipated, it wasn't weird, or awkward or cringe, it felt....right?

If tae's plan was to make you fully forget about that college letter, than goal achieved.

You knew you both would have to talk about this later, at some other time when your mouths weren't attached to each other, but for now all you wanted to do was be thankful for him.

you gently pulled back and giggled like a little girl, a blush creeping over your face as he pulled you against his chest. There were no words or jokes, you both simply laid together before eventually falling asleep in each others embrace.

Maybe he was right about better things coming, and maybe this was it.

A/N- this was so cute I was kicking my feet and giggling while writing, we all need our own taehyung.

#taehyung smut #taehyung #kim taehyung #taehyung fluff #taehyung fanfic #kim taehyung fanfic #bangtan #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts #bts x reader #bts smut #tae fic #tae smut #tae fluff #tae drabble #tae x reader #taehyung drabble

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absolutebl · 1 year

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This Week In BL - Everything is Awful or New or Both

Feb 2023 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessmen t of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

My School President (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - It’s an ep 11 so we knew this was gonna be a downer. This was definitely a “date me date my friends” kind of situation. At this rate, GeminiFourth’s other characters in Chicken are going to kiss before TinnGun do. I love Tinn’s dad. Also, it looks like our a tiny little ship of crumbs is sailing. How cute is that!? Sunshine + sunshine! Bonza.

Bed Friend (Sat YT & iQIYI uncut) 1 of 8 - Fuck buddies get messy, AKA Between Us the second cumming only this time in an office (and on a desk). I have been waiting for James to hold down (or be held down in) a BL for years! All hail the new kings of high heat. BUCKLE UP I GOT A LOT TO SAY. I like that there’s a dark underbelly (*snicker*) of trauma to this one, it has a slightly a Japanese feel which suits mature characters and an office setting. King’s yearning worried eyes are glorious. Poor thing, he totally adores this beautiful broken fragile boy and doesn’t know how to capture his attention. I admit Net was the one I worried about with this pair. James was always gonna be great. It turns out, I didn’t have to worry. This is an awesome show and I fucking love it. It nearly scooped the top spot. Frankly this is the Office BL I have been WAITING for Thailand to give us.

NOTE: I watched both YT’s cut and iQIYI’s uncut version. (Anyone else feel odd using those terms under a high heat BL context?) I like YT’s better, mostly iQIYI’s interface is shit. Deets? There was a little extra from the “morning after regrets flashbacks” but not so much I think you’ll regret missing it. Unless you REALLY prefer high heat. The emotion of the sexual connection and Uea’s lonely submissive need was transmitted in both versions, but the iQIYI is slightly more MOAR.

Never Let Me Go (Tues YT) ep 10 of 12 - Flashbacks to the cutest boyfriends ever and then PAIN. All I can think is “thank fuck this was handed to Pond & Phuwin.” One of the world’s saddest executions of the sniff test trope. Meanwhile, Perth is SO GOOD but I wish Chopper would record his conversations with his dad. Look, we all know Chopper is gonna take his dad’s bullet for Nuengdiao, right? Oh well, if you didn’t know, I just told you.

Moonlight Chicken (Weds YT) 3-4 of 8 - The plot... erm... thickens. I told you Jim had a tragic backstory with an ex. And now it’s all gotten VERY messy. Sigh. Fourth & Gemini are cute, tho.

Hit Bite Love (Sat YouTube) ep 4-5 of 6 - I do like King & Burger. The idea of giving your perspective boyfriend your CV is ADORBS. Auditioning for the part, as it were. I would like it known that my sexual identity is chili (AKA spicy) henceforth. (My pronouns are MaxTul & sometimes Phi.) Look, this is an absurd show. Last ep it was BDSM 101, this ep we got a lesson on how to use a condom properly? AND why the closet is both necessary and damaging? I mean I applaud their educational endeavors but BL: The After School Special? Did I sign up for Degrassi Junior BL while I wasn’t looking?

Boyband (Thurs YT) 1 of 10 - BL drama about putting an idol boyband together. AKA how to make ABL suffer by combing favorite (celebrity romances, Kpop) and least favorite (bad singing) tropes. AND? I REALLY like it. It’s fun! What singing there is, is looped not live. So we in Cutie Pie territory. It’s easy to skip. The pairing is rich/poor and I like an other side of the tracks romance.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 5: Love in the Future (Taiwan Weds Viki) ep 8 of 10 (or 15&16 of 20) - Covid strikes. Boyfriends are worried. Omg they are so cute and hot and awkward. Tension in the office politics too. It’ll be okay, babies.

Jack o’Frost (Japan) ep 1 of 6 - After getting dumped, Ritsu has an accident and gets amnesia. Ikuya, his ex, struggles to help him regain his memories while wondering about the state of their relationship. But Ritsu falls in love with Ikuya all over again. Engaging opening but I’m just not sure about the premise.

It’s Airing But ...

Chains of Heart (Sat Gaga) 1 of 10 - Not dropping for me until tomorrow so it’ll be in next week’s round up I hope. Suspense thriller about a forest ranger, smugglers, amnesia, and lost love. Stars Haii (Cirrus in TT2) and Marc (My Gear & Your Gown in YYY). Adapted from a Y-novel of the same name by TJ Tommy.

My Beautiful Man 2 (Viki & Gaga) - Because there are only 4 eps, I decided to wait and binge this one.

Cafe In Love (Thai) 10 eps on Ch3+ - Thai pulp, stars the actor who played Noh’s best friend Ohm in Love Sick 2. When his coffee shop closes, a man tries everything to save it and falls in love along the way. I had a hunt but can’t find it.

Moments Of Love (Thai) Feb 14 Foremorfilm Production movie for cinema release. Was originally a series with Golf (609 Bedtime Story & The Eclipse) to direct, and SmartJames (LeonPhob from Don't Say No) to star. BUT is now something totally different. We’re all confused.

Destiny Seeker (Tues WeTV ) 10 eps - it’s not on any WeTV I can get ahold of. Engineering student Songkram is head of dorm 3, for "strong & athletic" students. Aye is head of dorm 2, for the "good looking" students. Aye used to be Songkram's tutor and friend, but they fell apart after becoming dorm heads. Aye is actually in love with Songkram but thinks Sonkram likes someone else. Songkram actually likes Aye. So, Bad Buddy the pulp rebirth meets that weird Japanese “girls-crossdressing-as-boys for love and infiltrating secret society of hotness” tradition.

Our Winter (Thai & Korea ?) - TutorYim vehicle supposedly airing now. Search me.

The End Of The World, With You AKA Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu (Japan Sun Gaga) - DNFing this one. It’s way too high heat for them to end it happily and full of dark stuff like cheating, suicide, depression, abuse. I actively HATE one of the main characters and mildly dislike the other. Easier to just stop watching.

Next Week Looks Like This:

2023 forthcoming BL master post. (see comments some are inaccurate, NOT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

My favorite thing to happen in BL this week. Possibly EVER.

Honestly, such a weird little After School Special. (All Hit Bite Love.)

SAIL MY LITTLE CRUMBS! SAIL!!!!

You TELL her, Paw. (All My School President)

We stan the out boy. Own it, babycakes. (Moonlight Chicken.)

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Beautiful by BEAST, look, sometimes we gotta go back to our roots. Check out the legends for what they were, criticize my taste later. Fuck I miss those times when everyone had to sing live and the one with the hot mic had to stop dancing to catch his breath because, ya know, he still had to sing.

ALL that said, you slackers should check out HELLO GLOOM - Dancing In The Dark. I alway said IMFACT was the most woke Kpop group, now they broken up(?) nice to see ‘em solo in queer fuck-off style.

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dancingtotuyo · 9 months

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The Life We Built (Joel Miller)

Part 5 of Build You The World Joel X Reader Rating: PG-13 (Language) Warnings: fluff, that's it. Tags: no outbreak, fluff, craftsman!Joel, Time jump, it's 2023 folks, no mentions of COVID, you decide if it happened Notes: So we've reached the end of this little adventure that was only supposed to be a one shot, but never fear! I have another Joel Miller idea in the works. Check out my Masterlist for some Javier Peña works as well! Thank you everyone for your support! Words: 1998

Series Master List | Author Master list

Joel eased into the chair next to you under the pergola he built 25 years ago. It was still sturdy and spoke to Joel’s craftsmanship. The sun was beginning to set, granting some relief to the spring heat as you watched your three grown children clean up the backyard. They’d insisted the two of you relax.

Emma graduated from Duke last weekend with honors in Pre-med. Which meant traveling to North Carolina for the ceremony. Joel has insisted on driving up. He hated flying. With a 20-hour car ride one way, you caught up on a lot of reading and almost booked yourself a plane ticket home. The two of you had been gone for almost a week. So her graduation party took place this weekend at home. She’d been accepted into UNC-Chapel Hill’s School of Medicine and would be going back to Durham in a couple of weeks. She was officially moving out, boxes already stacked high in her room. You and Joel both chose not to think about your baby leaving the nest for good.

Emma laughed at something Asher said. You couldn’t see Sarah roll her eyes, but you knew by her body language. Joel chuckled next to you. He sensed it too, both in tune with your children.

Asher graduated with a Bachelor's in Engineering from UT-Austin a few years ago, choosing to stay close to home. He had a small apartment in town working at Miller Construction since graduation. Joel joked that if he didn’t put his degree to use soon, he was gonna have to rebrand as Miller and Son. You had a sneaking suspicion that’s what Asher wanted. He and Joel shared the same love of building things with their hands.

“Grandpa!” Sarah’s 3-year-old daughter, Jessie bounded across the yard, dark curls bouncing like springs behind her. You could see the brightly colored book in her grasp.

She panted heavily as she reached the two of you. Her small hands rested on Joel’s knees. She looked up through dark lashes. “Will you read this to me?”

Joel smiled. She reminded you so much of Sarah at her age. “Don’t you want grandma to do it? She’s a much better reader than me.”

“No, you!”

“Okay, Okay.” Joel chuckled, pulling the child onto his lap. You closed your eyes as you listened to Joel read. His drawl had only deepened with age but it still flowed like honey. It soothed your weary bones and often brought you through time, making you feel 25 again.

Sarah had started college at the University of Georgia but transferred to UT-Austin after her freshman year. She loved Georgia, but she missed being close to her family more. She’d earned her Bachelor's in Journalism and Creative Writing (also with Honors). Working across all aspects of journalism, she went back to get her MFA several years later. She worked freelance for several publications and taught a creative writing class at the community college in town. She’d married Mike 6 years ago. They’d been together since senior year of college aside from a one-year gap. They’d bought a house just down the street from you and Joel soon after their wedding. Jessie’s 4th birthday was next week, and aside from her husband, you were the only other person to know that Sarah was 8 weeks pregnant. They were planning to reveal it next on Father’s Day.

You and Sarah were convinced Joel didn’t have a clue. The two of you were desperate to surprise him. Other than his 45th birthday party, you and Sarah hadn’t been able to surprise Joel in the 31 years you’d loved him. He’d even figured out Sarah’s first pregnancy before they’d told anyone.

Joel continued to read. The world drifted further away only anchored by the sound of his voice. Sometimes a bird’s song drifted in and out. The warm breeze floated across your skin. Joel’s voice stayed constant.

“Grandpa… Shhhhh, grandma is sleepin.”

Joel looked up from the book. He smiled. The wrinkles around his eyes were well-defined now. “I think she’s just restin her eyes, kiddo.”

“That’s what you say when you’re sleeping!” Jessie giggled.

“Keep reading,” you said, keeping your eyes closed. “The story was just getting good.”

He looked at Jessie who nodded her head, and he continued.

The construction business had been good to Joel. Miller Construction kept its outstanding reputation throughout the years, something Joel worried about as the number of crews grew and his ability to check up on every job decreased. Joel spent most of his days on job sites in a supervisory capacity. He trained the new hires to meet his rigid standards, and his body took less wear and tear. He was able to spend more quiet morning moments with you. At 56 years old, he was still the best pitcher in the men’s rec softball league. He took every Thursday morning off to hang out with Jessie while Sarah taught her class at the Community College. He piddled in the garage on weekends, working on the next project. He’d just redone the kitchen cabinets. Tommy joked that Joel lived in partial retirement, but there was some truth to it. You liked seeing him take time

Joel finished the book as Sarah and Mike walked over. You slowly opened your eyes, letting the world envelope you once again.

“It’s time for us to go home, Bear,” Mike said.

Before Jessie could issue a complaint, Joel pulled her into a back-breaking squeeze. She laughed. He tickled her sides. “Grandpa!”

“I gotta make sure you meet your tickle quota.”

“I have! I have!” Jessie laughed, her cheeks turning red.

“Okay,” Joel let out a deep breath. “I think that’s enough for today.”

Jessie wrapped her arms around Joel’s neck, kissing his cheek. “Love you, Grandpa!”

“I love you too.” He kissed her cheek, patting her back. “I’ll see you on Thursday.”

Jessie slid off his lap, rushing to you. A chorus of goodbyes between parties rose in the corner of your backyard in hugs and handshakes. Jessie nestled into her father’s arms, eyes already beginning to droop.

Joel wrapped his arms around you. You leaned into him. His hands traveled down your back, lips finding yours. You grinned feeling warm and giddy. Even after all these years, he still had the same effect on you.

Gagging noises interrupted your moment. Asher and Emma stood on the porch directing said sounds at you.

“Get a room!”

“We don’t want to see that!”

Joel flipped them off before firmly grabbing your ass making a show of the steamy kiss he planted on you. You laughed. He kissed your neck softly.

“You’re gonna traumatize the kids.”

“They’re grown adults. They can leave.” He nuzzled into your neck. “I want to kiss my wife in our backyard.”

“Y’all are gross.” Asher chided.

“If it weren’t for us, you two wouldn’t be here,” Joel shouted back.

“You say that like it’s a good thing!” Emma responded. “Have you seen the world?”

“Hey,” You laughed. “You’re the saving grace of this family, Miss I’m going to be a doctor.”

Asher scowled. “Don’t say that. Her head will get bigger than it already is.” He ruffled Emma’s hair.

Emma rolled her eyes. “We’re done cleaning up. We’ll leave you two to do… that.” She motioned toward you and Joel. “Asher’s gonna take me out on the town.”

“Make smart decisions,” Joel called.

“Always!” Emma smiled.

The duo filed out of the backyard leaving you and Joel alone. Joel kissed your forehead as you swayed to a nonexistent tune.

When you finally stopped, you and Joel sought the respite of AC inside. Joel prepared a plate of leftovers for the two of you to share on the couch. You read as Joel watched the Baseball game on low volume. You propped your feet on his lap. His thumbs found the soles of your feet applying pressure. You hummed.

You had stepped down from your position at Miller Construction after Emma started high school. As much as you loved working with Joel and helping him build and expand the business, desires drew you elsewhere. You started working part-time at the public library. When their head librarian announced plans to retire, the city had offered to pay for you to get your Masters in Library Science providing you could give them a 10-year commitment. Daunting at first, you’d managed to complete the courses in 2 years via an online program. You work at the library full-time now. Joel often brought Jessie in on Thursday mornings along with a coffee for you. You tended to the garden on weekends. Joel replaced your raised beds a few years ago. You had the kids over for dinner once a week. You and Sarah walked the block on pleasant evenings. You spent lazy evenings on the couch with Joel, something that had rarely been a part of your marriage until the past few years.

“I’ve been thinking…”

You looked up from your book. “Uh oh, that’s never good.”

He tickled the bottom of your foot earning a squeal. Everyone talked about growing out of being ticklish. That had never happened to you. “I think it’s probably time to refinish the book nook.”

You glanced behind you, eyes trailing over the bookshelves Joel had built you more than 25 years ago. They’d been through it. The finish was peeling in a few places. The cabinet doors that lined the bottom were dented and scratched from a number of things bumping and running into it while raising 3 kids. You glanced at the farthest one, still stained with faint marks from Emma taking Sharpies to it when she was 3. Residue from stickers marked other areas.

“Sounds like a big project.”

“I’ve got the time.” Joel smiled.

He reached down beside him, revealing a gift bag. A simple brown paper bag with a gold ribbon neatly tied and curled. Sarah’s trademark. He handed it to you with a smile.

“This from you or Sarah?”

“Me.” Joel crinkled his nose. “Just asked Sarah to wrap it for you.”

You lifted the bag up and down. It felt like it was probably a book. It rarely wasn’t. “And what is this for?” You smiled at him.

“Just fulfilling my husbandly duties.”

You laughed as you untied the ribbon. Joel had taken your first line to him like an oath over the course of your relationship. He’d surprised you with a new book at random times. Sometimes you came home to one on the kitchen counter or your nightstand. Other times, wrapped or handed to you, each with an inscription detailing something he loved about you and how “Pretty” didn’t cut it.

You smiled at him, pulling a hardcover book out of the bag. You opened the front cover. A piece of paper slipped out. Before you could investigate, Joel’s handwriting caught your attention.

I don’t know if you’ve been counting, darling, but this is the 100th book I’ve given you. When I met you in that bar, I knew if I had the chance to give you just one, I’d be the luckiest man alive.

We always talked about going on a big trip for our 25th wedding anniversary. I know it’s a little bit late, but I booked us on that trip to Italy you were eying last year.

I’m sure it’ll be beautiful, but I still think the best view is you.

I love you, Darling.

You picked up the slip of paper: the booking confirmation set for mid-September. You looked up at Joel, tears blurring your vision.

He chuckled. “Surprise.”

You set the book carefully on the end table, moving onto Joel’s lap. “You hate flying.”

“But I love new places.” He kissed your nose. He still looked at you like you hung the galaxy. You imagined you looked at him the same. “And you.”

You kissed him, the words whispered for just the two of you. “I love you too.”

#joel miller #tlou #the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal #build you the world

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hoosurdaddy · 1 year

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Bleeding the Love.

Pairing: post covid!kenny McCormick x reader, post covid!stan marsh x reader.

Triggers: unrequited love (Kenny’s end), idk how to describe it but the reader thinks kenny is into boys. Idk after that. Reader is married to Stan. Angst?

Kenny didn’t want to feel this way.

The young scientists had gotten used to being around her. Watching her work, laughing with her whenever a joke was told. Watching her as she planned out her next move to success.

Kenny was utterly inlove with Y/N Marsh.. his best friends wife.

Kenny admired from afar. You were wearing a beautiful sundress and sandles. The sundress looked so beautiful on you. It hugged your body, flowing at your hips and pushing your breasts up. You looked amazing. As a friend and Stan’s wife, Kenny never knew how Stan managed to get someone like you. Kenny always felt guilty when it came to thinking badly about his friend, Stan, but it was something that always messed with his brain. You were kind, beautiful, and sociable, while Stan was.. Stan. But nonetheless, you were Stan’s wife, so he must of done something right?

From across the room at Denny’s where the high school reunion took place, Kenny watched as you laughed with Stan and Clyde probably about the crazy shit you all done in high school. You were a kind girl, much kinder than any of the other girls that attended South Park. Stan didn’t even care that people were coming up and talking to you both. You were beautiful for the two of them, Stan knew that. And he was proud that he had such a beautiful and loyal wife by his side.

“Do you want a drink, sweetie?” Stan asked, resting his hand on your lower back, like a husband would do. “Oh hey Kenny.”

“Just a glass of water please, m’love.” You answered as Stan honoured your request, while you continued to catch up with Clyde and Kenny over the last few decades, until Clyde excused himself to find Bebe. You were so happy that they got married.

Kenny cleared his throat awkwardly as it was just the two of you left. “Do you want to go to the smoking area? I could use a cigarette.” You nodded happily, signalling Stan that you were going to the smoking area with Kenny, who nodded while in conversation with Tolkien.

You followed Kenny out to the smoking area, where he took a seat. “Please sit.” He smiled as he rolled his cigarette tabacoo. You obliged your friends request, sitting beside him.

“I’m assuming something is troubling you, Ken.” You started, placing an innocent hand on his shoulder. “You haven’t been yourself since you got here, is everything okay?”

Gosh, maybe Kenny wasn’t playing it as cool as he thought he was. Shit.

“Y/N, um, what?” Kenny stuttered, lifting his head to look at you, but couldn’t directly look at you. “It’s just.. something happened, and I.. I can’t explain it.”

You quickly looked around to ensure no one was listening to this private conversation. “Ken, maybe we should this discuss this in a more private setting.”

Kenny shook his head, waving it off. “I wouldn’t worry too much about them assholes in there.” He spoke, lighting up his cigarette at last. “It’s not something I’ve done.. more like thoughts and feelings I’ve had.”

Immediately you raised your hand to stop him, and Kenny felt his heart shooting up his throat. “Let me stop you, Ken.” You smiled. “No matter what, I’m your friend. I love you and support you no matter what. I’m so proud you felt comfortable enough to tell me.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

You hushed Kenny, making him confused. “Ken it’s the year 2040. It’s okay to like men. It’s great actually, I’m so happy you told me.”

“Wait.” Kenny chuckled, a small smile forming on his face as he realised what you said. “You think I like guys?”

“Is that not why you brought me out?”

“No.” Kenny smiled, as he watched your face turn into a confused one. “But thank you.”

You took a deep breath in. “Regardless, it doesn’t matter who you love Ken. As your friend, I will support you no matter what. Through thick and thin.”

“Thanks Y/N.. that means a lot.” Kenny tried to hide his blush, he wished that he hadn’t grown out of his parka. Kenny knew that if you discovered his feelings for you, it would change your view on him. It would change Stan’s view on him. But hearing that you were always going to be there for him, meant a lot to Kenny. It meant even more when you hugged him. Kenny could die happily in your arms right now.

“Ken.” You spoke when you pulled away from the hug. “Don’t worry about this issue you’re having. We’ll get through it, together.” You planted a kiss upon Kenny’s cheek before Stan came out and got you, who told Kenny to meet you at your house for an after party with the old gang.

All Kenny could do his watch as you walked off in best friends arm, while his heart bleed.

His heart bleeding at every step you took out the door.

#post covid!stan marsh #post covid!kenny mccormick x reader #post covid!south park #post covid!stan marsh x reader #post covid!kenny mccormick #South Park #South Park x reader #Stan marsh #kenny mccormick #Stan marsh x reader #kenny mccormick x reader

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butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 1 month

Text

I've been feeling inclined to vent about the general concept of "substance use" and "dependency" recently for no particular reason, and it's probably just my own brain finally processing some of the things that happened to me in The Bad Times but what the hell lets go with it.

I was pretty much straight edge until my mid 20s, no alcohol, cigarettes, weed, nothing. Then I got into a series of abusive relationships, nearly died of Mystery Diseases, and a pandemic happened right after. My life went from barely getting by in the world to bouncing between constant crises overnight. I was in therapy and had been for years, I had self care tools and was using them. I was medicated for all of my diagnosed mental health needs (ADHD wasn't on the record yet, so was still unmanaged, but I was doing my best behaviorally to keep on top of shit, obviously that stopped working fast). I worked full time plus going to school part time plus working part time at my internship for a grand total of about 90 hrs per week of work/school related obligations. I lived with several other people who I worked to support financially and who I needed to also support emotionally, and I still managed to run my household for the most part with minimal support except from wifey who was also working about 60-70 hour weeks at her own job to help us make ends meet and was only barely medicated and managed herself. I genuinely don't know when I slept or rested.

The first thing I tried was weed. I used edibles to sleep without nightmares or the anxieties that would keep me up for the rare few hours I had to rest. It also helped with the constant pain I was in. I would get high as fuck on a weed brownie or a pre roll on the one day off I had each month so I didn't have to think or feel or exist because it was the only way I could find to genuinely relax anymore without worrying about the growing mountain of Life Responsibilities that I could never catch up on. Life eased a bit, and I kept doing that.

One day, I had a rare night off, and wifey was going to go out to a club with some friends. I hadn't been anywhere fun in years. I hadn't had time or money or energy. I was desperate to see people and relax and maybe sance a little. A pandemic was on, and the local clubs were having discounts like mad. We went and got shitfaced on cocktails that cost less than lunch at a diner for a round and I made out with a cute girl and I came home laughing for the first time in years. From then on, we would keep a cheap six pack of something in the fridge and every once in a while I would down 2-3 and get fucked up for a bit between that and the weed. Life felt a bit easier and I kept going.

But behind the scenes the cracks kept forming. It wasn't the substances that were causing them. And they weren't even what was making it worse. But they were letting me pretend those cracks weren't there. Letting me run from a reality I knew I couldn't fix. By the time I realized how bad things had gotten, how deep into the pit I was, I was living in a tent in the woods, cooking my dinners on a campfire with my family, throwing back weed and cheap booze like my life depended on it because god what the fuck else do you have when a creek and a rainstorm are the closest you get to a shower and your bed is a pile of blankets in a military surplus tent with all the warm bodies piled together so you don't fucking freeze at night?

I was still working full time though, and for those hours, I had to be sober. No if ands or buts about it. And I was okay with that line, even if it left me riddled with anxiety and trauma and stress 16 hours a day while I worked my doubles in the ER and came home to try and scrub the COVID off in the creek before I went back to the tent. And then a coworker asked me if I wanted to join her on a cigarette break. I did. I desperately wanted to feel normal. To chitchat and talk about nothing important, and feel the breeze on my face. So I bummed a cigarette and smoked with her. That one cigarette became 3 a day. Then 6. Then, a whole pack. A nervous habit of sucking on a cigarette or a vape whenever I needed to fidget or relax while still being sober. It's been 3 years now and I've tried to quit half a dozen times but here I am in my fucking home office pulling on a cigarette like it's my last hope of comfort.

I don't drink anymore though. My body won't let me. Blah blah allergic reactions blah blah. Fine. I kept trying for a while, allergies be damned. But it stopped being worth it. Sometimes the cigarettes aren't worth it either. I choke on every inhale and my body dry heaves like it knows I'm putting in something it doesn't want. On those days I don't smoke. I don't think there have been many days I've gone without weed. I honestly don't know what to do with myself on the days I abstain. Like I do? I can cope. I just. I'm still so tired.

The part of me that broke all those years ago and said fuck it, lets see what drugs do, is still recovering. It's still resting and healing. Some days are better than others. Some days it does fine and it says "lets fuckin rawdog the day my mans" and I do, and it's great. Other times it's so small and frail that I know if I tried I might break it again, and I just can't risk that.

I've been told before that this is dependency. Maybe even misuse. I've been told by others that this is the point. If it's helping, then let it. I don't know what the answer is. Some days I resent not being the person I was before I started using weed and cigarettes to get through the day. I've tried other things too, and they've never done much for me, so I never went back. Does that mean that I'm not "dependent" I'm "self-medicating"? Is that a good or a bad thing? Does it fucking matter? I honestly don't know. I wish it didn't feel like it mattered. I wish that I could go through my days and feel like I had more of a choice. I actually miss being able to get high lol. Like weed hasn't given me an actual high in years, it just. Helps me get through things a little better. But how much am I really willing to keep living that way? How much of my life do I *want* impacted by whether or not I can smoke or have some thc? Some days it's fine. Some days I'm bothered by it.

The thing that gets me every time though is how at every single point when I made the choice to pick up a new "substance" it was because I was desperate, overwhelmed, and completely without alternatives. I knew full goddamn well every time what I was doing. I had years of both anti-drug war knowledge and addiction/recovery knowledge in my brain and I understood that I was at my most vulnerable, I was my most at risk. That making this choice could be fine or could be life changing or could be somewhere in between and it was worth being self aware as I did it. But I just. I was so tired. I was so broken down. I just needed to rest. I needed to feel something other than the stress and fear for a while. And no one was offering me anything else that made a dent. Trust me. I tried.

I don't say this to suggest to people that Drugs Are The Answer. I genuinely don't think they are. I still wish every day I had never picked up that first cigarette. I still wish that I felt well enough to live my life without needing help to rest and recover. But I can't blame anyone who makes the choices I did. I can't doubt the feelings of need and desperation that often drive us to interact with our support tools the way we do. I've also found over the years, that it's not just "substances" that people will turn to for help with avoidance the way I did. Avoidance is so very very human, and the way I skirted around acknowledging how beyond my capacity for repair my life was getting (even while actively working to resolve those things) had more to do with mh inability to acknowledge that I was failing people I loved than what tool I was using to avoid the acknowledgement. It could just as easily have been my work, or video games, or shopping, or gardening, or anything else in the world that allowed me to isolate myself in a world that felt smaller and simpler for a while so I could take a break from problem solving the way the rest of my world was steadily crumbling around me. I chose weed, alcohol and nicotine. Other people will make other choices. But maybe we all sometimes run away from problems we realize we can't solve until one day we're backed into a corner we can't run from. Maybe that's just human. Maybe the drugs just made me feel less like shit while I ran. And maybe that's part of how I survived to make things right for myself.

I really don't know. I can't know.

What I do know is that I left the relationship that was destroying my life. I'm safe now, and wifey and I are doing much better now that our communication isn't being actively sabotaged. I'm doing much better now healthwise that the food in my home is consistently safe to eat for me and I'm not being left without any food at all on a semi-regular basis. I *am* still the primary breadwinner of the household, but it no longer feels as though I have to run the household itself on top of that, and I *am* consistently supported (encouraged even) to rest when needed, even if that is still hard for me to do. I've stopped drinking, and that does feel better. I spend less time and energy seeking substances and I *do* smoke fewer cigarettes less often even if I do still smoke sometimes. I feel happier and more stable than I think I ever have. My life is. Mostly working? And pretty good now. The cracks have been able to heal in ways that are, if not structurally sound, at least working up to it. I am fragile, but making progress. Does that mean I made the right choices? The wrong ones? Will I ever know?

I dunno comrade. But. We all do what we can, what we must, and what we can figure out. Maybe judgement and shame about all that just doesn't help.

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kaizdreamz · 7 months

Text

Watch your step.

1 CHAPTER / ?

High school AU, based on a dream I had reader x alhaitham

Um. So, reader is chronically ill (POTS), BUT still attends in person school part time, Alhaitham is in the other group of students (the grade is split in two, college classes and then normal AP classes)

He's a little bit stuck up. Kaveh is there too. He's nice

i feel like this is will be multiple chapters ngl, this is semi based on what I experienced when I was in highschool before COVID hit.

(Cᴀɴ I ᴀʟsᴏ ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ I'ᴍ sᴏʀʀʏ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ sᴇʟғ ɪɴᴅᴜʟɢᴇɴᴛ ғɪᴄs ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴄʜʀᴏɴɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ɪʟʟ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, ᴀɴᴅ sᴘᴇᴄɪғɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ᴛʜɪs ᴏɴᴇ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ POTS,, I ғᴇᴇʟ ʙᴀᴅ ʙᴜᴛ I ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ sᴇᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ɪʟʟɴᴇssᴇs)

You tap your pencil impatiently, glancing at the clock in your free period, you had a project you had to do with your group next period. Required your group to go outside, which... isn't bad, but you dreaded going outside and being watched like a hawk from teachers and... stared at from the boys... you aren't around much in school, you only come when you know you can make it / it's important.

"excuse me.." you hear a voice tap your shoulder. You look up and see one of the teacher's assistants from the B students.

"oh, hi" you study his features unsure whether he looks familiar, or you've just never seen him before.

"hi, so.. uh, I have paperwork I need you to fill out for the student council... this is your name right?" He points at the paper, you nod your head.

"yeah, that's me..."

"great! Okay, um. Come with me, the student council room is booked right now with a meeting so we're going to have to use one of the classrooms, all of them are in session minus one, which is in a free period." He neatly stacks the papers, turning for you to follow him. Red clips pin back his blonde hair, you grab what little stuff you brought to this class and follow him out of the door.

"we could've just used my classroom, y'know?" You ask, He gives you a tired smile.

"I asked your teacher ahead of time if I could use it to help get paperwork finished and she told me that since I'm on the different block of students to just use one of there's," he sighs. "She was really nice about it!"

"oohh" you hum as he opens the heavy metal doors for you, taking the shortest way to the block. The cold chill makes you shiver slightly.

"Mhm.. don't worry! This classroom has a study group in it but we'll be quiet so it's okay."

"I've never been in this part of the school, I bet everyone looks like nerds," you joke, he laughs before opening the other metal door and whispering.

"oh! My name is Kaveh, sorry I didn't introduce myself before... I already know your name, also we need to be kind of quiet.." he leans towards you, you glance into the other classrooms with classes going on and it seems brutal, at least.. you don't think you could comprehend it... to many numbers.

You nod at his statement, reading the board next to the door before accidentally tripping over the heavy mat in front of the metal doors. Kaveh is quick to make sure you don't fall, grasping your arm gently and helping you up.

"sorry!" You whisper, laughing a bit. Your heart hammers in your chest from the sudden burst of adrenaline.

"it's okay! I trip over them all the time!" He smiles laughing a little as you regain your balance. "It's this classroom ahead." He ghosts an arm over your back guiding you to the open classroom.

You glance around the room, there's so many books. A schedule is written on the whiteboard and there's eight students total in the room, ten if you count you and kaveh. As you walk past you glance at their notebook and your brain struggles to understand any of what you saw.

"right here," he whispers, pulling a chair out for you. You thank him and sit down as he hands you one sheet of paperwork. "Oh! I forgot to get you a pencil.. sorry, there should be one at the desk."

You glance at the desk in the front of the room, you smile at kaveh before carefully getting up. Standing still for a few minutes to regulate your blood pressure, he stares at you worryingly as you carefully maneuver throughout the room, accidentally bumping into a chair.

"oh I'm so sorry!" You whisper, the guy sitting there just stares up at you. You can't tell if he's mad or tired, probably both.

He slides his headphones down, setting his pencil down. "It's fine." He mutters, his deep voice catches you off guard.

You avoid eye contact but feel many eyes watching you as you quickly grab a pencil from the teacher's desk and hurriedly make it back to the table kaveh and you shared.

"you alright?" Kaveh mumbles, red eyes meeting your mildly scared ones.

"y-yeah.. just wondering if I already made an enemy here," you whisper, jokingly slightly as the eyes you felt before disappear.

"oh, him? Don't worry about it, he thinks he's better than everyone else, that's all. Did he say anything to you?" Kaveh's expression has changed four times after mentioning the guy you bumped into.

"well, besides after I apologized he said it was fine but he looked so angry." You sigh, sitting down. Everyone in the room, including kaveh looked so... professional.. while you were wearing sweatpants, a sweater that was far too big for you, compression socks, and slides.

'To be fair, anyone could assume you were homeless' you recall one of your friends commenting about your outfit the class prior to this. But who cares? You're comfy, and not even meant to be doing anything "professional" for a highschool student anyway, it must be a sort of dress code or something for B students.

you sigh, glancing behind you, the guy you bumped into went back to work, those headphones back on his head. you squint, as if judging him a bit. Kaveh smiles as he shifts through his own work. you turn back to the paper you have to fill out, probably for classes next semester - you look through it and yeah, that's exactly what it is.

you bounce your leg as you fill the paper out, glancing at the time every now and then. You finish the paperwork and sit there balancing the pencil on the bridge of your nose, the bell rings and everyone starts packing up, you slide back on your slide on shoes handing kaveh the finished paperwork. Kaveh smiles handing you a folded piece of paper in return.

"I'll walk you back to your next class," he offers, you accept the offer, smiling as you stuff the paper in your pocket. You'll look at it later.

"so, do you know everyone who was in that class?" You mumble, stuffing your hands in your pockets as he walks you the long way to your next class.

"I know of them, but I really know only one of them. He's.. well. Ugh." He groans, you smile at Kaveh's reaction to your question.

"you two friends?" You grin teasing as he rolls his eyes.

"I don't know what you call that." He brushes his blonde hair out of his eyes. Pulling his pullover closed to his body the cold breeze coming in through the heavy door being opened. "Why is it so cold.. gah." You snicker before wincing slightly.

"give me a second," you mumble, wobbling to the wall. You slide your sandal off pulling your sweatpant leg up to fix your compression sock.

students who pass you seem to point and laugh or glare down at you as you fix the aching pain from the tightened fabric. "You shouldn't do that here." A deep voice rumbles above you, you look up at the guy in front of you. It was him, from before.

You look up at him your eyes widen, feeling very small compared to him now. "Uh, sorry.. it just hurts sometimes—"

"Al haitham! Don't bully them, they were just fixing their sock." Kaveh walks up to you and him, glaring at the taller male in front of you.

You set your foot down, the coldness of the tiles make you shiver which makes both of the men look at you. You smile awkwardly as you quickly slide back on your thin shoes.

"I was merely telling them to not draw attention to themselves, Kaveh." He mutters, rolling his eyes as Kaveh helps you stabilize from looking down for so long. He glares at the other students who were laughing at you.

"I'm fine.." you mumble to Kaveh as he holds your arm up from your dizzy spell. Alhaitham scoffs. "Sorry, for taking up room in the hall." You apologize sarcastically.

Kaveh glances at you in shock, not expecting that response from you. He snickers slightly, "seems like you two are best of friends friends," Alhaitham scoffs, the 5 minute bell rings. "Remember we have a project today Kaveh." He walks away.

"is he normally like that?" You mutter, walking with Kaveh to your next class.

"yeah, that's Alhaitham for you." He sighs, "sorry, you might be late for class.."

"oh nono, don't worry, I have extra time.. if it wasn't obvious before, I was fixing my compression socks, I have a condition— don't worry! It's not contagious!" Kaveh looks at you confused, "people have assumed that before..."

"oh, is that why you got dizzy?" You nod, shrugging a bit.

"I'm only here for three days of the week, well... most times I am." You sigh, "I have it written in my 504 plan, accomodations and such." He nods.

"oohh, I understand, do people not always know?" You shake your head.

"not always, my class knows obviously and my teachers know but other students don't," you roll your eyes, "the days I don't come, someone from my class who lives nearby will drop off my work so I'm still in the.. uh, what's the word— like zone?" Kaveh nods.

"so you don't fall behind!"

"yeah!"

"That's smart, well I'm glad you're still able to do your schoolwork and take care of yourself at the same time," he gives you a friendly smile. you nod, smiling at kaveh.

The rest of the walk is in comfortable silence, eventually you two make it to your classroom, luckily students were still coming in so you weren't terribly late. Kaveh waves as you enter the classroom, you wave back and sit down. Leaning back in the chair as you try not to gasp for air, you don't want to cause a scene or anything.

"You okay?" The teacher places her hand on your desk, you nod your head as you look at the ceiling breathing deeply through your nose.

"walked a lot, student council needed me last period.." you huff, leaning over and placing your cheek on your hand.

"take your time to get situated." She smiles motherly at you, you nod as the rest of the students come in. She walks to the door.

You close your eyes waiting for the class to start, you remember the slip of paper kaveh gave you when you handed him the sheet back. You slip it out of your pocket, unfolding it carefully to see what it was.

"oh" you look at it in surprise, it was his number. You pull out your phone and quickly type it into it with a quick message. "hi"

You didn't expect a response but when your phone vibrated it was him, he sent back a "hi?". You quickly tell him who it was and his texting behavior changed to a more casual one.

"alright, is everyone here?" The teacher starts and you put your phone back in your pocket with the slip of paper. You nod slightly as everyone else responds. "Great, okay so we're going outside for today's class. It's nothing serious just write down what you see and what you think about what you see, that's really it, everyone has a partner so start pairing up,"

You look at the board, seeing who was your partner, it was the same person who came by to drop off your work. She was nice so it wasn't a total waste.

"alright, once you have your partners, grab a notebook or clipboard and a pencil, and start heading outside. Be mindful of other classes who may be outside. You may use your phones, but nothing inappropriate!" The teacher grabs a chair and leads the students out of the classroom, making sure they were quiet as the group passed other classrooms that were in session.

She props open the heavy metal door with the chair as everyone files out in the courtyard, it had rained a few days prior and the ground was soft. Probably one of the worst days to wear slides honestly.

You walk silently behind the rest of the group, the cold air of the October morning sends chills down your spine, it was partly cloudy too, it wasn't horrible weather it was nice. You look around for something of note as your partner went by the courtyard fence. You notice a tall male with grey hair and other students you don't recognize. Your eyes widen as you scoffed as you realized it was Alhaitham.

You speed walk towards your partner hoping he didn't see you, you sit down on the bar noticing the creek behind you two.

"oh, we could write about that..." you point, tapping the girl's arm.

"we could, but also... eh? What would we write about?" She tilts her head.

You shrug. she goes on her phone and you notice Alhaitham was looking in your direction, you make eye contact with him, which made him immediately turn the other direction. You scrunch your face as you notice a bug crawling on the bar. You scream and then start laughing as you scoot down the fences bar. You and your lab partner laugh and giggle as other kids come by to watch the slug.

You attempt to get up but end up getting your foot stuck which makes you fall. "Ow!—" you hiss, hitting your back on the metal part of the fence, twisting your ankle in the process.

"here wait let me help you-" your friend helps you out of the weird position you were in. Your eyes stung with tears as your foot throbs.

"I think I hurt my ankle," you mutter, your heart skips a beat and knocks the wind out of you. She helps you to your feet, you limp over the ditch, nearly falling again. "I'm fine.." you give your friend a painful smile as you attempt to walk back inside the building to get an ice pack. Realizing the door had been closed, probably moved by someone else, the teacher was so far away you couldn't possibly make it back without fainting.

You sigh, sitting down on the concrete next to the heavy metal door. You were next to the B student's lab work. You bury your head in your arms as the pain throbs through your entire leg.

Alhaitham sighs as he walks over to you, "I can take you inside. Are you able to walk?" He looks down at you, you quickly wipe the tears off your cheeks.

"... I'll be fine." You wince as you bring your leg closer to your chest. He sighs again.

"come on," he crouches down to your height, holding his hand out for you to take, you really just wanted to go inside. You take his hand and he helps you up, scooping you up and carrying you, bridal style, inside through the B door. You wrap your arms around his neck as students stare at you and guys snicker among themselves you want to to disappear.

"Alhaitham! What are you doing?" A teacher growls, glaring at you and him.

"taking them to the nurse, what else?" He responds so casually.

"Have you finished your assignment?" The teacher scoffs crossing his arms.

"hey wait— I'm sorry, I hurt myself outside and I couldn't get inside any other way, I can't walk either—" you gasp, the teacher scowls as he lets you and him past.

"minus the sprained ankle, what's the other reason?" Alhaitham questions, raising an eyebrow at you as you two past the teacher.

"I have a posture problem, which my symptoms are flaring up because I overdid it... again," you mutter bitterly. "It's not some sort of disease that'll spread. It's a nervous system— autonomic nervous system to be exact, defect." He nods as if he was completely understanding.

One of the jocks of the B team teased you and him, "oh lookit! He finally found someone!" They joke, he holds you closer to his chest. "If he doesn't want them I'll gladly swoop them off their feet," Disgusting. He glares at them, the hallway seems to go on forever.

"how do you normally deal with it?" He mumbles, glancing down at you.

"pushing through it— oh, do you mean like, when I have an episode? I just lay down until I feel like I can function again, if I can't then I'll just call home and go home." He makes a grunt noise as if he was listening.

You shiver slightly, the hallways are so cold. He took notice of your shiver and walks a little faster. You notice a certain blonde from the corner of your eye, "Kaveh!" You wave, he turns and sees Alhaitham carrying you. His expressions goes from excited to confused.

"hey!— what happened?" Kaveh runs up to you and Alhaitham.

"sprained their foot. I'm taking them to the nurse." Alhaitham cuts him off slightly.

"I would've never expected that from you.. are you okay?" Kaveh turns to you, worry covering his face.

"I'm okay for the most part, just my foot hurts a lot and I don't feel well, because of ykno.." Kaveh nods, Alhaitham glances down at your features, noticing how pale you've gotten.

"we should hurry.." he mumbles under his breath, it was so loud you couldn't hear what he said. "Kaveh, can you tell the teacher I will be late," kaveh nods, rolling his eyes dramatically.

"yeah yeah, hey, let me know if there's anything I can do," he lowers his voice, before going back into the classroom.

"are you and him friends?" You look up at Alhaitham, he's looking ahead to make sure he doesn't run into anyone or drop you.

"sort of, we're roommates." That answer catches you off guard, you think for a second.

"so... he's 18?" You mumble as if doing math in your head.

"yeah, I'm younger than him." That surprises you even more, your mouth drops open and your eyes widen. "...is it really that surprising?" He mumbles.

"I mean, yes?" You look at him as if he was crazy. "You're much taller and more mature looking than Kaveh— no offense to Kaveh, he is much more approachable than you," he laughs a bit.

The sound of him laughing catches you off guard, it wasn't a mocking laugh it was a good laugh, it sounded nice. When he smiles dimples are visible on his cheeks, he looks so much more different. "I've heard that before, I just never thought people thought kaveh was younger than me though,"

You smile as his small chuckle, before hearing commotion ahead of you. Two jocks throwing a football around and have a tussel in the hallway. You gulp anxiously, worried you're gonna get hit.

"Hey! Catch!" One of them yells at the other who ran behind you two, as the further one throws the ball Alhaitham carefully moves out of the way which makes the ball hit the other Jock in the stomach.

You smirk as the further jock laughs at the other's pain. Alhaitham turns the corner, walking a bit more and knocking on the nurses door, "come in," she responds.

"oh, it's you!" She directs her gaze to your face, "and Alhaitham, well good morning. What happened?" She tilts her head as he gently sets you down, helping you wobbling to the chair.

"they fell, and started breathing harshly. I don't think it would've been a good idea to let them walk by themselves and they hurt their ankle so I just carried them." He says swiftly, checking the clock. Sure enough, he was late. He sighs.

"I'll write a pass for you Alhaitham, don't worry. Could you elaborate on breathing harshly? Did the wind get knocked out of you?" She pulls up a chair to you checking your face. You seemed a lot paler than usual, your breathing was wobbly but you tried not to make it a big deal.

"I fell and hit the ground hard, which made me get my foot caught on the fence... my class was outside during a lab report, and yeah.." you huff, every other word you had to take a deep breath in. "..i dont know if i can make it the rest of the day," you sigh, disappointment written on your expression.

She puts an oxygen meter on your finger watching your heart's bpm and oxygen level, it wasn't reliable but it was better than nothing. She hums, quickly writing a note for alhaitham.

"Mr alhaitham, could you get their stuff from the classroom, I think I'm going to have to call home." She grabs a small baggie and fills it with ice and places it on top of your compression sock to stop the swelling. He nods, turning to you.

"what classroom were you in?" He asks still in the same monotone voice from before.

"um, 23A, the teacher probably heard what happened.." you mumble, sighing. Wincing as you hold the ice pack to your foot.

he nods, "is there anything else?" his gaze held yours a bit longer than it should've.

"that's all, thank you Alhaitham." she smiles as she reaches for her phone to call your parents, Alhaitham gives you a weird glance before exiting the nurses office.

You sigh, feeling even more dizzy. Pulling your knees to your chest, cringing at the pain in your foot. You closed your eyes as the teacher called your parents, Alhaitham stopped by again to see your head buried in your knees. Stopping yourself from crying, he doesn't say anything but leaves your things in the chair next to yours. A sticky note on top of it. Once he closes the door you look up and read the note, "sorry you don't feel well." That was all it said, his handwriting was neat and pretty, delicate cursive in a green pen.

---

., ok so this is definitely more than one chapter, Its roughly 3.5k words, I hope you enjoy :]

#junesl1ght_#female reader #genshin fanfic #male reader #gn reader #al haitham x reader #chronically ill reader #POTS reader #Highschool au genshin #Gn reader x alhaitham #alhaitham x gn reader

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poohsources · 4 months

Text

HELLO EVERYONE! as the year is slowly but surely coming to its end, and i'm now home for the holidays, i thought it was finally time to make another one of these. partially to give a little update on what's been going on in my life and partially as some sort of retrospect for this past year and a look into my plans for next year.

looking back, it's been quite an eventful year — especially when compared to the weird covid years we had to deal with previously. the biggest change was probably my dropping out of college to start a dual studies program in law. i did like my college program just fine ( until i didn't anymore ) but i really feel like law is my thing. and apparently everyone else in my circle of family and friends thinks so as well because i seem a hell of a lot happier than i did before. kinda unfortunate it took me seven years since quitting high school to figure that bit out, but hey, at least i got there in the end. it's been quite time-consuming, and i feel like in those past five months, i've already learned more than i did in all my years of college, but it's fun. i also finally got some new friends my age again. it's also strange to think back that just one year ago i was still struggling financially and just generally dealing with some bad mental health stuff.

i'm actually happy now.

in terms of tumblr and roleplaying, i gotta be honest that i have been sidelining it a lot over the last months. sure, i'm still around but it's not my primary focus, and i'm learning that it's okay not to be online all the time. it's okay to take breaks and focus on other things because as much as i love this blog, the community and tumblr, there are some more important things now. still, i am and always will be eternally grateful to every single person who supports me - whether it is by liking or reblogging posts, sending asks or messages, following me or using any of my stuff. it means so freaking much to me, and i always feel so proud whenever i randomly see my own stuff pop up on my dash because mutuals use it. thank you all so very much! in a similar vein, i honestly still cannot fathom that i almost managed to double the follower count this past year. i'm probably not gonna reach the goal i've kinda been looking at until the end of the year but that's okay. i am so incredibly grateful for everyone here anyway. no matter what.

as for next year - i'm not too sure what i'm gonna do. of course. i'm gonna keep posting memes, and templates and whatever other stuff i feel like doing, but i think my activity is gonna keep on being spotty. i'm also still tempted to do commissions one day ( and we're totally gonna ignore that i've been saying this for over a year now, okay? ) but with the amount of time i don't have, i'm not sure i'm gonna be able to deliver on that. if i do finally build the courage and self-esteem to do that, it will be like an occasional thing that might take some time. however, one thing i do wanna do more of is gifs. i'm not sure what kind of gifs, but i enjoy making them and it's been way too long since i did them so i'm gonna see how i'm gonna incorporate that. or if anyone has any specific gifs they want, always feel free to shoot me an ask or a message. maybe also some aesthetic-y stuff? after all do love making pinterest boards for characters.

maybe i'll also do a blog reveal once i finally set up my multi that i've been planning to work on for months now. since i'm gonna scrap my current main blog ( which i haven't really been active on in a while now anyway ) i'm kinda thinking of coming back to writing and who knows, maybe i'm gonna reveal it here in case anyone would like to write with me.

anyway, this was a lot of rambling, and if you've made it this far, i once again wanna thank you. i know i do this a lot but i really do appreciate you all being here so much, and even after two years of having this silly little blog, it still feels unreal to me that so many people here enjoy what i do.

much love and happy holidays, pooh 🧡

#pooh speaks.#pooh's (ir)regular updates.#long post tw

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kkbardd · 2 months

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hello! i haven’t sent an ask in a while because schoolwork has been piling up infinitely :[ , but your recent posts have been really interesting to me! i really liked the room sketch one, I can’t exactly explain why but there’s something so indescribably human about it. i love spaces that looked lived in, that have personality, and I think that your room (current one? made up? old one?) has done a great job of showing that. and I’m not very good at giving advice— I can hardly follow it myself, but if you don’t know something, don’t know what you want to do, try things. it’s okay if you don’t like them. i recently found out I’m more competent in languages than I thought! i can already read and understand simple sentences in german.

there’s always more to yourself than you’ll know, I think, but the world is kinder than people think. If anything, everyone is still very new at this. we’ve never lived before. do the things you like, branch out, don’t become less of yourself for other people. everything has a place, and my best advice is to treat life as you would a vacation. do all the things you can while you’re here. build a life that makes it worth it. (sorry for the long ask and my rambling, or if this is overstepping in any way. i just read what you wrote and kind of related to it in a way. thank you for continuing to create art, it brings me a lot of joy! :] )

hey isopod!!! thanks for the ask & I wish u good luck with ur school work!

Thank u so much for the compliments, im really glad the vibe of my room was conveyed in those doodles. i absolutely looove drawing my room! It’s extremely small (a renovated utility closet) and just barely fits a bed + my desk but its packed full of the things i love. It’s very lived in and I feel like it reflects my character well.

when i drew that page I was in my senior year of high school and pressures to decide my future were overwhelming. I never thought much about it until then and I didn’t have any idea of what I was going to do. The only thing I felt I had going for me was art but I didn’t want to turn my only hobby into a job I hated. I remember going through a master list of majors on random college websites and one-by-one asking myself if I’d be okay doing it. In the end I had nothing. I was really crushed about it and felt stuck. This was right after the covid quarantine too so focusing in school was difficult & I couldn’t bring myself to apply for scholarships. I started skipping classes, smoking weed, and pushing off my assignments. All of this only made me feel more miserable, of course, so everything seemed pretty bleak at the time.

But luckily I had the support of my family and especially my mother. She would always remind me that “we have option”, “we always have options”. Because I did! This was a fresh start to try my hand at a totally different experience than what I’ve done so far. I ended up choosing my major on a complete whim after hearing my aunt had a job in an adjacent field. I was pretty sure I’d drop out after a semester, yet here I am about to graduate soon & I’m having a ton of fun!! (Hell, I’m 10 hours out in the middle of nowhere right now for my Field Methods class!) It’s not that I had a knack for Geology that I just never tapped into, or that i secretly had a passion for rocks this entire time; I just found something that seemed like an okay fit and grew interest from there. I think that a small level of commitment like that is more than enough to get you going. I had a ton of ideas in my head about how I needed to have a perfect fit major that would connect every dot I’ve laid out in my life thus far, but that’s not true at all. Life is much more messy and unpredictable than that.

But enough of my rambling!! That time of my life may have been stressful but I’m very grateful that I went through it! It changed how I viewed problems and it taught me to always look for other options when everything seems helpless.

Thank u so much for ur encouragement, I really appreciate it <33 I completely agree with everything u said!! Life is an ever changing experience & often leads u in unpredictable directions!

#ask #ilu isopod #I often look back on those sketches (and more that I just haven’t posted)#I find a kind of beauty in it idk how to explain it #teenage angst is just something we all gotta go thru #ranting #we have options

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faeriekit · 2 months

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you post about library stuff, and I wanted to ask if you had an MLIS, and if so, how did you go about getting it? No pressure of course!

I am always down to talk about library school, no worries! 🧡🧡

I think I do have a couple posts in my library posting tab that also talk about my MLS process, so they may cover details I forget here, but details to know are:

I already worked at a library at the time that I applied to an MLIS program

Therefore I had a lot of help from other librarians, library assistants, administrative persons, and friends along the way

There were several other prospective students in my system that applied simultaneously, so we all could pool information so that we didn't all have to retread the same research holes simultaneously

I applied at the height of covid.

Several people in my workplace had already told me that online was the way to go if I was going to get a degree; better scheduling possibilities, more choice of programs, and more opportunities to apply; otherwise I would have had to go to the state school. It would have been fine. But traveling in person is a pain.

I did research on schools; what the price was per credit hour, how long it took to graduate, criteria to graduate, whether it was synchronous or asynchronous, or other things I might want to know during the application process. When picking a school, make sure it is ALA accredited if you are in the united states! They are the only schools! Do not pick a graduate degree in librarianship if ALA has not given it their Okay!

So I used their searchable database for an online, asynchronous, relatively cheap program. When I found one I liked, I went to look online specifically to see if it was an online program PRE-Covid. I did not want amateurs trying to work out zoom for the first time. I wanted a good program that already knew what it was doing.

So I found a program I liked, and double checked to see what I needed to apply. Normally it was three recommendation letters; due to covid, they only wanted one. Great! Begged one off a former professor. Normally I would have needed to take the GRE, but it was covid so it was waived, and I had a GPA high enough that the program would have waived the need for a GRE test score anyway. Score!! As someone who tests horribly on cumulative stuff, that was a huge relief.

I applied! I got in! I crammed as many classes in as I could simultaneously, since I was working part time and I needed to save money. I could have taken a maximum of six years to finish a degree, but every semester of tuition + sundry is a flat fee, So I saved my money by finishing as quickly as possible. (And, to be fair...nine credits a semester is easy. I used to do eighteen a semester in college. If you have ever taken an online course in your life, it's not that much harder in library school, especially when it's asynchronous.) I'd saved up money from a terrible former job where I couldn't see any friends or go anywhere to see anyone or take time to myself or even eat out, so I'd had money saved up I could use for my degree. 😬 I think in total it was somewhere between... $20,000 and $26,000. Semesters fluctuated between 4,000 and $6,000 depending on the classes I took. I never did winters and I never did summers, since the amount of classwork I could have done during those sessions wouldn't have made the flat fee worth it.

And then they were all keen to have me work on a practicum during my job, which was full time at that point, so I was working eleven hours a day in order to fulfill my degree requirements between my full time job and my part time job...it was super easy to arrange, since I just had to basically walk over to a former library I used to work and and be like "want me back here for free?" and they were like "is that illegal?" and I was like "apparently not", which is the benefit of networking, but our collective HR department had a conundrum of legal matters on their ends haha. And that's when I wrote Blister Pack out of sheer stress! 😊🧡🧡

And then I GRADUATED! Which just felt like Tuesday, since it was. I got my degree in the mail, my job made me pay a different entity $70 to make sure I was a "certified" librarian in this lovely state, and now I work the exact same job I did in grad school, but with slightly more pay.

Things I learned whilst pursing my degree:

Make out with a database. Seriously. Databases are 90% of your job now. The rest is on-the-floor maintenance, problem solving, and local politics. Learn to use limiters and Boolean goods and keywords and everything else, because you will need it.

The people who struggle the most are the former teachers and other alternate-profession professionals looking for a change in careers. The people who do the best are people who work in a library. If you have not worked in a library, volunteer at your local library. The concepts, lingo, and jargon will make so much more sense when you're exposed to them naturally.

Speaking of; network, network, network. Ask local librarians for help sooner rather than later, because eventually you are going to have to interview them or ask for their help or something. Know them now. Ask them your homework questions. Every librarian wants to talk shop. Let them.

Sometimes your books are cheap on Thriftbooks and Alibris and sometimes they are cheap because you find the PDF online for $0.00 and it feels morally wrong to use it for class but no it isn't. It's just illegal. But not even for you; it's only illegal for the site for hosting it. So...consider downloading your texts, lest they be $80 each.

OH but Worldcat does a price comparison on the side of every book entry so that you can see which site has a cheaper copy! That's just a library fact 🧡 Here's an example!

Anyway...this is just me. People who went in person ate up more time overall, but I also had a whole school of 90% White conservative-leaning students so that was kind of new and alarming for me. Go Texas! Double check if you're in any time zone changes if you go online...

People want to think that librarianship is a noble profession that can make a difference in a single life, and it is, but it's mostly public servitude. You will be paid less than other professionals with a graduate degree and you will have your budget slashed with no notice and you will have local townspeople and officials demand you justify the cost of running a library on the town and you will have to defend yourself every time, because you are a vital resource no one appreciates until they need it and every child deserves to read. Half of librarianship is fighting the good fight. The rest of it is construction paper and kid scissors, phone calls, public arguments, resource management, lysol wipes, and sometimes there's even books.

Anyway! If you read this far, make sure your library card is up to date! 🧡😘 Thanks for asking! I love it when I get library questions.

#library posting #faer winds

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austinsgirl · 11 months

Text

Rather Die | Chapter 17

word count: 2787

no warnings (:

cross posted on wattpad

masterlist

leave me all your thoughts!

————————————————————————

Austin wakes up to the smell of fresh homemade snickerdoodle cookies coming from the kitchen.

"Hey Vic, what's all this?" he asks, walking into the kitchen with just his grey sweats on.

"Oh hey-

Victoria gets caught off guard, not expecting him to walk in & walk in wearing what he's wearing.

"I'm just making cookies to take over to your sister's later. I hope that's alright. I just want to make a good first impression on your family." she finishes.

"Yeah, that's fine. I'm sure they'll really appreciate it."

"I would have made a pie, but it was such short notice that I was joining you so cookies it is."

"You know, you didn't have to make anything. It's not like you're my girlfriend & you really have people to impress."

"Yeah, but I am your baby mama, so I do need to make a good impression. Your family is about to become my family in some way."

"I guess that's true. Watching the parade?" Austin looks over to the TV from the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'm waiting for the Rockette's to come on. I've always loved them and it's a dream of mine to go."

"Weeeellll, I am hosting Saturday Night Live next month, so maybe you can come with me to New York & I'll take you."

"You'd do that?" Vic asks in awe.

"Yeah, of course." Austin smiles. "I'd love to. Consider it your Christmas present from me."

"That would be amazing, Aus. Thank you." she hugs him.

Austin feels butterflies in his stomach as she squeezes him tight.

"Can Ashton come too?" Victoria asks, making those butterflies disappear.

"Sure. The more the marrier."

It's definitely not what Austin had in mind, but he knows it'll be easier to let him tag along.

"We can probably go that Sunday night after SNL. I'll be in rehearsals all that week." Austin mentions. "I'll look into tickets for us, and I'll see if Ashley wants to go too."

"Ashley is your sister, right?"

"Yeah. She's going to SNL to see me host. She's really my biggest supporter."

"Even more so than your dad?"

"Yeah, I would say so. Don't get me wrong, our dad is very supportive of me, but I think Ashley is just a tad more supportive."

"Do you think your family will like me?" Victoria asks him.

"I think so. I don't see why they wouldn't."

"So, who's all going to be there?"

"My dad, his parents, Grandpa Michael & Grandma Linda, Ashley & her husband Tony, my mom's mom, Grandma Karen, then my Aunt Hilary & her boys, which are on my mom's side."

"What about your grandpa on your mom's side?"

"He passed a few years ago."

"Oh, Aus. I'm so sorry to hear that."

"Thanks, Vic. I was able to say goodbye thankfully."

"I'm glad you we're able to. I was stuck here during the pandemic when my grandma passed back home in New Zealand. She was already battling cancer, then she got hit with Covid, so her body just completely gave out. I had plans to go see her too that year, but of course it all got canceled."

"Damn. That's rough. I'm sorry."

"Thanks. I went back last year. It was weird going to the cemetery to visit her & not to her house."

"I bet."

"I'm so nervous to meet your family. Like what if they don't support our situation?"

"If they don't, they don't. This baby is ours, whether they like it or not."

"Okay."

"If they don't support, it'll be okay. I know my family, and once they meet our cute little baby girl, they'll get over it."

"You did tell your family about the baby, right?"

"Yeah. Well, I told my dad & Ashley. I think my grandparents and aunt know."

"Okay, good. I don't want to go in there with this baby bump and have them freak out."

"Did you tell your family?"

There's a silence from Victoria after Austin's question.

"You didn't tell them, did you?" he asks.

"Nooo, I haven't. I just know my mom is going to flip because I'm having a baby out of wedlock, even though she had my two oldest brothers while in high school."

"You have to tell them, Vic."

"I know, I know. I will soon because I have to break it to them that I won't be going home for Christmas."

"Invite them here."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah! We can do a joint family thing here. Our families meet, I meet yours."

"I don't know, Aus. That would be a lot of people & I don't know how my mom will act. She can be so nosy when it comes to my relationships with men."

"But we're not in a relationship."

"But we're in some sort of situationship, so."

"I think it'll be fine. They'll meet eventually anyways. They're all related to our daughter."

"You're right. I'll talk to my mom about it."

"Good. How many siblings do you have, anyways?"

"Three older brothers, and one older sister."

"Aw, you're the baby of the family just like me."

"Mhm. There's fourteen years between my sister and I."

"Damn, so really the baby."

"Yep."

The oven beeps and Victoria takes the last pan of cookies out of the oven.

"Can I have one?" Austin asks, gearing towards the cookies that are on the cooling racks.

"Yeah, go for it. I'm sure there will be extra anyways. Also, I want to know if they're good before taking them over there." Vic replies. "I haven't baked in a while."

"Holy shit, these are really good!" Austin says after taking a bite.

"Really? You think so?"

"I really do think so. They're great, Vic. I didn't know you could bake."

"Yeah, I've always loved to bake things like cookies, cake, brownies, etcetera."

"A reason why you're going to be a great mom."

"Because I can bake?"

"Yeah, I feel like all great moms can bake. I mean, mine could."

"Thanks, Aus. That's really sweet."

"Of course, babe."

"Babe?"

"Sorry, habit. Didn't mean to call you that."

"It's okay." she gives him a puzzled look.

The sound of the reporters of the parade come from the other room, announcing that the Rockette's will be up next.

Victoria scurries into the living room and sits down on the couch so she won't miss anything. Austin chuckles and smiles to himself at how cute it is that she's so excited to see the Rockette's on TV.

Austin joins her on the couch to watch. He fights the urge to put his arm around her shoulders. He wants to so bad, but that would be breaking boundaries.

In the middle of watching the performance, Victoria gasps and feels tears start to form.

"Aus...." she says to him.

"What??" he asks confused.

"Oh my god..."

"What? What's wrong??"

"The baby just kicked..."

"She what?!"

"She just kicked! Wait, she's kicking again!" Victoria grabs his hand and places it on her belly where the baby is kicking. "Do you feel her?"

"Yeah, yeah I do." Austin responds as his eyes swell with tears, and he smiles wide.

"Wow, that's something I never thought I'd ever get to feel. This is so incredible."

"I know. I've never felt a baby kick before. I mean, makes sense as I've never been around someone who was pregnant before. I bet it feels so weird on the inside."

"It does, but also amazing at the same time. It really feels like I'm pregnant now, actually feeling her inside me. I felt flutters before but this is just...woah."

"I'm never going to get over the fact that we're going to be parents."

"Neither will I. I prepared myself to not being able to carry, but actually getting a chance to with my chances being so low, is just something I will always be grateful for."

"I know this isn't the ideal situation you wanted to have a baby in, and I know I'm the last person you wanted as your baby daddy, but I'm glad it worked out this way. I couldn't ask for a better parenting partner. And I hope you know I will forever take care of you & our daughter for the rest of my life, even if we aren't on the best terms."

"Thanks, Austin. That really means a lot. And yeah, I wasn't ever picturing having a baby with you, but I'm glad it's with someone I can trust."

"You trust me? Never thought I'd hear that from you after what I did."

"It took me awhile, but yes, I trust you. Eliana on the other hand..."

"Yeah, no one trusts her." he laughs. "But I'm glad I've been able to earn your trust back."

"Me too." she smiles.

Hours have passed and the two of them headed over to Austin's sister, Ashley's house.

"Hey! Happy Thanksgiving!" Ashley greets Austin opening the door for them.

"Hey Ash! Happy Thanksgiving!"

The siblings share a hug before Austin introduces Victoria to his family.

"Ashley, this is my friend & co-parenting partner? I don't know how else to say it, but um, this is Victoria. Vic, this is my sister, Ashley." Austin introduces them.

"Hi! It's so nice to meet you finally!" Ashley greets Victoria with open arms.

"It's nice to meet you, too!" Victoria responds.

Austin goes around the house introducing Victoria to everyone else.

"Vic, this is my dad, David. Dad, this is Victoria."

"Nice to meet you, sir." Victoria shakes his hand politely.

"Nice to meet you too, Victoria. And please, call me David."

"Got it, David it is."

Victoria also met his grandparents, aunt, cousins, and brother-in-law.

She went into the kitchen and set the cookies she made onto the counter.

"It smells great in here. Do you need help with anything?" Vic asks Ashley as she's basting the turkey.

"Uh, yeah! If you want, you can peel potatoes for the mashed potatoes! The potatoes are in the fridge & the peeler is in the third drawer to the left." she replies.

"I will get on it!"

As Ashley, Victoria, and Aunt Hilary get dinner finished up in the kitchen, Austin is sitting in the living room with his grandparents & dad, watching football.

"Austin, how did you meet Victoria again?" Grandma Linda asks.

"We just filmed a movie together over the summer." Austin answers.

"Oh, that's right. Weren't you with that Hispanic girl?"

"Yeah, but we broke up."

"You sure moved on fast then, dear."

"Linda, they aren't together." Grandpa Michael tells her.

"They're not??" she asks.

"No."

"Then how'd she get pregnant?"

"We, uh, hooked up, Grandma." Austin says.

"Oh..." Grandma Linda says disappointed.

The room was silent until the team they're rooting for scored, and everyone cheered.

"Austin, help me set the table?" Vic pops her head into the living room.

"Yeah." he responds.

They go into the dining room and start setting the table.

"I think Grandma Linda, and everyone else is disappointed in our situation. Well, at least everyone in the living room." Austin says to Vic.

"Why do you say that?" she asks.

"Because Grandma asked how we met, and then she asked if I was with Eliana, and I told her we broke up, said I moved on fast, Grandpa had to remind her we aren't together, and then she asked how you got pregnant, and I told her we hooked up and the room went dead silent. I could tell she was disappointed that we aren't together & having a baby."

"I had a feeling someone would be disappointed & not super supportive."

"Yeah, well, they're older and traditional. What should we expect?"

"That's true."

Not long after the table was set, dinner was ready & everyone sat down to eat.

Of course, Victoria told her life story to his family after being asked where she came from, how she got to into acting, when she moved to the US, etc.

Austin played catch up with his family, giving all the details on the Elvis press tour, filming the new movie, and his other upcoming projects.

Eventually, it came down for them to answer the real questions.

"So, you two are going to raise this baby together?" David asks.

"Yes, we're going to co-parent." Austin responds.

"Victoria lives with you now, right?"

"Yeah, I moved in not long ago. It's been a lot easier on us with appointments & milestones. Like today, we both felt the baby kick for the first time." Vic smiles. Her reply gets smiles & awes from everyone around the table.

"And no wedding for you two?" Grandma Karen asks.

"No, no wedding. We're not together, we're just two friends having a baby together after a one-time thing happened. Victoria is seeing someone, and he's okay with what's going on." Austin answers.

"If you don't mind me asking, what made you decide to keep the baby?" David asks Vic.

"I've been told a few times before that it may be almost impossible for me to conceive, like my chances of getting pregnant we're very low. Since I was able to conceive, I decided that I wanted to do this, whether Austin was going to be apart of this or not. I didn't want to go the abortion or adoption route and give up my chances of being a mom in the future. I'll be super lucky if I ever get to conceive again."

"Oh, Vic. I'm so sorry to hear that you have fertility issues like that." Ashley says sympathetically.

"Thank you. When I first found out, I sobbed. I've always dreamt of having kids of my own someday, and that news just shattered me. It's definitely not how I wanted having a baby to go, but Austin has been so supportive, and just has been the greatest. David, you & Lori really raised Austin right."

David gets choked up a bit, "Thank you, Victoria. That means a lot."

Austin got a little choked up too. "Thanks, Vic." he smiles at her.

"Of course."

Now that everyone is more aware of what's going on, during desert, everyone has loosened up and is really warming up to Victoria & the idea of her and Austin co-parenting.

"These cookies are so good, Victoria! You have to give me the recipe!" Ashley says to her.

"Thank you! We can exchange numbers and I'll send it to you."

"Sounds perfect!"

After everyone was full from dinner and sweets, they all relaxed a bit in the living room. Ashley had pulled out her photo box which contains many photos of her and Austin when they were kids.

"Oh, look at this one! Here's Austin as a baby in the bathtub!" Ashley pulls it out of the box and hands it to Victoria.

Austin blushes & covers his face, being shy and embarrassed.

"Aw, Aus don't be embarrassed! Look how cute you we're!" Vic says to him. "And it's not like I haven't seen you naked before." she jokes.

Victoria's joke made Austin shift in his seat, thinking back to the time where she did see him in the nude.

After awhile, Vic and Austin said they're goodbyes. Austin could really tell that his family really warmed up to Vic & just fell in love with her. They all gave her such big hugs goodbye & wished to see her soon.

On the way home...

"I think they really liked you, Vic." Austin says.

"You think?"

"Yeah, I think so. Seems like they really got used to the situation pretty quickly, and seem okay with it."

"Definitely. You're family is really sweet, Austin. Ashley invited me to go shopping with her tomorrow. I told her we had plans to go, but we can join her."

"Oh yeah, she mentioned to me that she talked to you about that. We can go with her for sure. I'm glad you two get along really well."

"Me too."

Once they got home, Vic goes into her room and starts getting ready to check out for the night.

On his way to his bedroom, Austin stops in to her room.

"Hey, is there anything you need or anything I can do for you before we go to bed for the night?" he asks.

"No, I'm okay. Thanks though."

"Okay. I'm happy to help if you ever need anything. Just want to help you in anyway I can."

"I know. Thank you, Aus."

"Love you, too." he says kinda quickly and quietly, on his way out of her room.

It was silent for a second before Austin realized what he said.

"Oh! I'm sorry, I-

"What did you say?" she asks him.

"I didn't say anything."

"Oh, okay."

"Goodnight."

And with that, Austin runs to room, saying "Shit, shit, shit." to himself. "I have to move on..."

---------------------------------------------------------

#austin butler #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler imagine #austin butler one shot #austin butler smut #austin imagine #austin butler rather die #elvis #elvis presley #rather die

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zennotixs · 11 days

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Don’t worry about the length! I love that you put in so much detail with your responses, dear. It’s one of my favorite things about you! Besides, the ask you’re likely reading right now is definitely long as well.. My apologies.

I can’t wait to hear that story someday, dear. I’d love to know how you found out about your tendencies! I ended up meeting my best friend in theater, and we just ended up becoming closer once we went to school together, though we were pretty close before. I think the moment I realized how highly I regarded her was when she was stuck at home while her parents had covid, and I felt a need to make sure she was okay, so I made gluten free brownies for her. Ever since then, we’ve been pretty inseparable, especially since we have all the same classes and schedule! I didn’t know you’ve been to America! Out of curiosity--where in America? I’m curious to see how close we would have been... My best vacation was probably this cross country trip I took two years ago to california.. I got to go to disneyland for the first time and I got to see so many cool sights along the way! I feel like my town has the opposite problem--we have too much to do! My friends and I tend to go to the local diner most often, though. It’s quite a nice place to eat at, and I have such fond memories there! I’ll grab more questions in a second. I’m moving some of your responses in your shrine right now!

That’s so cute!

I’ve been to a few places! Off the top of my head; LA, Las Vegas, Colorado, San Francisco, and Denver! I apologise if any of those are the same, I’m terrible at places in America. I also went to the American Disneyland when I was younger but I don’t know where that is…

That’s cool that your area has a lot of places! A diner sounds so cool. We don’t have those where I am (I suppose this one cafe in the high street has the closest vibe).

#❤️‍🩹#🔮

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ifwebefriends · 10 months

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dude . . . that post where you said you liked nagito not because he's a depressed uwu bad boy but a traumatized complex cancer patient . . . we are the same lmao i literally made a research paper on his overall condition. very interesting case study ngl

That’s so cool! I’d be interested in reading your paper if you’re comfortable sharing. It’s nice to see that not everyone boils Nagito down to a generic bad boy tumblr sexyman. I actually have a lot of feelings about him and how he affected me personally because I can relate to him in a weird kinda hyperbolic way.

Okay it’s trauma dump time now strap yourself in. (TW suicide, cancer, COVID-19, needles, medical treatment)

I’m actually a cancer survivor myself (stage 4 breast cancer diagnosed in July 2020) and because of COVID and cancer I took a gap year in my education (I had just graduated high school and was set to start college) to go through treatment, so I had a lot of time on my hands to play video games and watch TV shows. So I ended up playing Danganronpa 1 and 2 in like October through November of 2020 (I would have played V3 then too but I didn’t have access to it yet).

When I first started chemotherapy in August of that year I tried to stay optimistic, hopeful, and cheery about everything, I didn’t want people to worry and pity me (right after my diagnosis, the most painful part of it all was watching all my loved ones worry so much about me) and I was told that I would most likely survive it. But round after round of chemo along with the rampaging global pandemic that I was honestly more scared of (I was immunocompromised because of chemo and I live in a country that generally didn’t take mask-wearing or quarantine seriously) gradually wore down my spirit little by little. By November when my treatment plan got extended (at least two more rounds of chemo than initially expected) I was worn out, miserable, hopeless, and borderline suicidal. This was around when I played SDR2 for the first time.

When I first played through the game I thought that Nagito was kinda just a fun character who made the game more of a challenge since he was kinda working against you. I never hated him or anything (my first reaction to him was actually “OH MY GOD IT’S THE FINGERS IN HIS ASS GUY!!!!”). Then after I finished the game I read online that if you talk to him in his free time events (I later did the free time for all the characters myself in school mode) you eventually find out that he has cancer and dementia and that’s when my whole perception of him shifted. I felt a sense of comraderie and unity with him that I feel with other cancer patients/survivors. Also, due to my piss poor mental and emotional state at the time I found myself really relating to him in a way. I felt strangely seen and understood.

Needless to say, even in this dark time in my life, I wouldn’t even consider doing the things that Nagito did in SDR2. Nevertheless, I guess I related to him because he represented my specific agonies and pains to a hyperbolic degree. Due to cancer and the treatment related to it, I was angry, hopeless, frustrated, and at a severe disadvantage while the whole world was suffering as well. (Cough cough chapter 3 dispair disease cough cough)

I think generally that the emotional and mental health aspect of having cancer and the general dark parts of having cancer aren’t talked about enough. A lot of people like to make it this hopeful empowering thing and I think it’s fine to do that, it’s good to have hope and strength in times like that, but when one can’t stay strong and hopeful in those circumstances it doesn’t really hit well. And I think that’s what Nagito represents to me. He represents someone beaten down by his life circumstances that he had no control over, and while he puts up an optimistic front, he’s not the #strong #sobrave chronically ill person that seems to be really common in modern media. He represents the dark side and the brutally negative emotions that can come from chronic illness or just shitty life circumstances. He doesn’t care much about his own life or well-being, he’s basically given up. But he wants his short life to mean something good so desperately. In his own way he cares about the people around him and the world around him, he just thinks he can’t have a place in that world. He’s willing to hurt and kill people in order to, in his eyes, make the world a better place at the cost of himself. He’s like an antithesis or foil to other cancer patient characters I’ve seen who have a generally more positive saccharine outlook on their condition and their life (I.e. Augustus Waters from The Fault in Our Stars).

Thankfully I’m much happier and healthier these days, I’ve been done with chemo for over two years and while I’m still going through some treatment related to it (hormone suppression pills and shots since my cancer was ER+) but it pales in comparison to what chemo did to me. I may not relate as heavily to Nagito as I used to, but he still holds a special place in my heart. I see him now and still think of him as a flawed but sympathetic character who was a twisted mirror of my deep-seeded physical and emotional pains that I felt back during the most miserable time of my life. At that time, I couldn’t see the light, so he sat with me in the darkness.

Nagito’s story isn’t really a story about having or surviving cancer.

Thankfully my story has a happy ending as I survived cancer and am still in remission. I am much happier and healthier now and I have a new appreciation for life, how fragile it is, and the little joys that make it what it is. I don’t relate to Nagito as much now as I did back when I was going through cancer treatment, but when I look at him, I’m reminded of how he reflected the darkness inside of me during my worst times and how comforting he was to me.

Thankfully I beat cancer and I am much happier and healthy now, but I still look at Nagito and remember the dark comfort he gave me through my worst of times.

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