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#it gets hard to take care of myself. even really basic stuff
cr0wc0rpse · 6 months
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Upset because tonight I was going to shower and do my T shot right after but when I went downstairs to grab my speaker I had to take care of the kitchen first and that took a while and then when I went back upstairs it was already 11:30pm so playing music would be a risk (parents asleep) and then my brother got in the shower before I could so if I showered after I wouldn’t be able to play my music and by the time he left the bathroom I lost my energy to shower. This was the first day where I actually Felt and Noticed how gross I feel and took note of when I last showered and now I have to go to bed like this. It sucks so bad
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arthur-r · 2 years
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!!!!
#i emailed them when i woke up pretty much and then i was distracted and busy but they got back to me!!#basically i emailed asking if i could conduct email interviews with any interested staff members#where i could learn about what they did for college what they do on a typical day and stuff like that!!#cause im still trying really hard to figure out what kind of degree i want to be a museum person#and like. if i get a masters in public history and library science would it actually apply to somewhere like mia?#and what kind of job within a museum would best fit my personal skills and limitations and just. stuff like that#and they emailed me back which is great#anyway hi world it’s been a minute i’ve been sequestering myself inside of my mind and disintegrating on the daily#because my dad is terrible at single parenting and my mom is missing in action (she’s on a planned trip don’t worry) but im not good at#taking care of myself my dad thinks cooking is womens work (unless it’s grilling which he has loads of books on and sometimes does) and i#don’t care enough about my own well being to make myself food half the time. so i just haven’t been eating haven’t been getting out of bed#but as of today i just had a shower i have laundry in the laundry machine things are looking up a little#and my sisters murder mystery party is later today i have to dress up as a victorian lady named starr dangerfield#im going to wear my own clothes mostly so there shouldn’t be too much dysphoria. but i will be putting my hair in tiny pigtails#which is something i did every day when i was a cisgender high school freshman. my current hair is like my old pigtails hair but just erase#the pigtail part from existence. like the reason i always had those pigtails was so that most of my hair would be what im actually#comfortable with which is what i have now. but even my short hair is still capable of the smallest little pigtails. and thats what i will do#idk i might be able to get by having my regular hair. that would be very much preferable#my sister is going to give me some crazy dramatic makeup though too. wish me luck :(#oh but the cool thing about starr dangerfield is that she’s the curator of the carnivals wax museum!! which. i don’t like wax figures but#as evidenced by the email exchange that’s going on right now i do love museums and curating so!! that’s good stuff#anyway i have to go see if my laundry is moveable. but just. yeah. mini life update#me. my post. mine.#delete later
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coldlobbiesofmarble · 2 years
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also while i am play-ing meltdown mashups aka posts where i show what rue is listening to (aka the shit that rue dances / stims / disassociates to), here’s a cool person’s music  , in longform, represented [ it’s not my music btw ] by a fireworks show video they stole off wolfman museum of art making said music mix  thus forever associated w/ my dream place to try to live w con mi cool/ gay/unhinged frixnds and gays and mutuals..or at least chill out and eat out and smonk and go to the park and attend concerts and club with
[ link to the mix : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoH5QBGsOE0&t=1s ]
#i had to separate this because i dont talk when i post my mashups but i feel like i owe you all this. also this is my blog and i wanna talk#the fact that a couple weeks ago i had my sibling ( still really oung) come otu to me - they were also gay but now#they are openly not - cisgender. and that is so so so overwhelming but i have hope. they have a squad of lgbts#meltdown mashup#✨💖some cities you really full a pull to. or even a town... a regioneven if it's out of your tax bracket.#enqueued [ sorta hiatus ]#one day.. you know...? like i deserve it#i do feel regret about not having my dream art/animation career in asia and then ive realized that after migrating i missed out on an NYC bA#i basically have spent my life just babysitting people that were older than me or galling them into doing the minimum. its such a bitch#tw parents / abuse in tags ```#yeah obviously it's hard to be an immigrant but  the moment you want your family to be your clones and fulfill your identity. ur fucked UP.#you should have dealt with that shit before you had  KIDS who you put first . they starve without you. they`re innocent. ur no saint😒#and theres no way that my NON BINARY sibling with also zero passion for stem `s going to get a lick of KINDNESS before i disown this family#STEM* sorryouaksjkjk#but while my disabled ass remaisn unmedicated ... yeah im going to have to deal with you and take care of my fellow non binary sibling#cw misgendering / transphobia#who is fucking tiny and fucking terrified. whose not about to settle for being misgendered.#honestly like this is the tip of the iceberg. i wont go into other stuff that im still healing from  . idk hoow ive trivvialized it all 4 so#so long like. it's not trivial. but i tell myself ` it's fine ur being dramatic `
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too-much-tma-stuff · 15 days
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Finally Getting Help (pt 12)
Masterpost
“Ya, I have questions,” Jason confirmed, trying not to shift awkwardly in his seat. “I read the slideshow but I don’t seem to fit in either liminals or ghosts, and I have some issues that I think would have been mentioned if they were common?”
“Alright, what are they?” Danny asked tilting his head a little. 
“Well, it’s been better since meeting you, and I know increased aggression was one of the thing mentioned but mine isn’t like Damian’s, or even yours I think. We’ve been calling it Pit Madness. I’ve gotten better at managing it but especially when I got back it was really bad. I… killed a ton of people and I still have a lot of bloodlust that no one is comfortable with.”
“That is unusual, especially directed towards humans. Aside from revenge against whoever killed them dead usually don’t care very much about the living,” Danny said curiously, considering Jason. 
“And I do read as- as dead?” Jason asked, he had been worried about that.
“Well you’re obviously not Dead dead,” Danny said rolling his eyes before he reached across the table. “Here, with touch I can figure out a bit more.” He said and Jason hesitated for a moment before resting his hand in Danny’s.
A cool feeling quickly washed up his arm and over his chest like intangible water. Danny tilted his head to the other side, his brows coming together slowly as he gazed into the middle distance and considered what he was feeling. He let out a hiss and some sort of chitter that couldn’t come from a human throat, then clicked his tongue and the cool feeling dissipated, sinking under Jason’s skin and cooling heat he hadn’t been aware of feeling. 
“Okay, ya that’s weird,” Danny admitted and Jason’s heart dropped. “Best I can equate it to is, like a bone that healed wrong,” Danny said thoughtfully. “You did die before?” He asked, Jason nodded mutely. “Okay, I won’t ask why or how. But best I can tell your soul was shoved back into your body and not given time to get settled back in it’s proper position before whatever was done to bind it in place. So you’re alive but with some.. Spiritual nerve and brain damage. Would you be comfortable telling me how you were resurrected?”
“Well, I resurrected myself apparently. I don’t really remember it but apparently about six months after my death I dug myself out of my grave. Before I could get anywhere the League of Shadows found me and dunked me in the Lazarus pit which is this glowing green stuff that heals the dying and kills the healthy. I don’t remember any of it, it was almost a year before I recovered enough to be myself at all.”
“That actually makes a lot of sense,” Danny said, nodding thoughtfully. “My guess would be at first you came back as a revenant, which is basically when a ghost possesses their own corpse to get revenge, not truly a living being. But then this Lazarus pit resurrected your body and your soul got stuck in your living body again without being prepared or intending for that to happen. 
“That’s what I’m guessing happened but I can’t be sure, and I’m not a healer so I don’t really know what to do about it. I’m sure my ghost doctor Frostbite would be happy to take a look at you though! Looks like we’ll be making an appointment for you too,” He joked making Jason chuckle nervously. 
“Well that’s.. Totally fucked up,” Jason said and Danny nodded.
“Ya, dying is basically always fucked up, coming back Specifically for revenge and then getting stuck here long after that’s a motivating factor is messy. I mean, for a human that would be fine, but for people like us,” He gestured between the two of them. “Obsessions are everything so that’s hard. You’ve been cultivating more healthy obsessions I know but you’ll never be the same,” Danny said, and Jason nodded.
He knew as much, he could never go back. Not that he hadn’t always had these sorts of thoughts and inclinations. Once of the reasons Bruce had taken on him and Dick was their murderous inclinations needed to be curbed, for Dick it had work, for Jason… Well it was a combination of a lot of things, it wasn’t really Bruce’s fault it had failed. Other than the fact that he’d let the Joker live far longer than he should have, but that was bleeding-heart-Brucie for you. It was funny, to not really be mad at Bruce anymore, understanding there was nothing else he could have done, and still not be able to forgive him.
Danny must have noticed how Jason had gotten lost in his own head because he reached across the table and covered one of Jason’s clenched hands with his own, soft and cool. “You’re doing really well Jason. It’s a messed up situation but I don't think anyone could have handled it better then you are,” Danny said softly.
Jason didn’t believe it but it felt good to hear and it did settle him a little bit. “Thanks Danny, that means a lot,” he said, giving Danny’s hand a squeeze before pulling back. 
There was a natural break in conversation as the waitress brought their appetizers, and when she left again Jason didn’t know what to say. Thankfully Danny spoke. “Why don’t I tell you a bit about my doctor? Frostbite can be a lot, as much as it would probably be funny to spring him on you I should probably give you a heads up.”
“Ya, ya that sounds good,” Jason agreed, glad to let Danny do the talking for a bit. And when telling him about Frostbite turned into talking about the Yetis, to talking about the Infinite Realms, to Danny info-dumping about space. Well Jason really doesn’t mind, especially with the way it makes Danny light up. It was good to see him happy.
---------
The food was good but Jason didn’t taste much of it, and aside from going “Oh wow!” When he took his first bite of his food Danny didn’t seem to either. At a certain point Jason realized he was going to have to do some talking or Danny was going to keep talking and wouldn’t eat. So he took over, but he didn’t know much about space so he started talking about literature and poetry and Danny listened raptly and finally ate his food.
It was very nice to have someone listen to him like that, it was sort of funny, it looked like it was as fun for Danny to listen to him talk then it had been the other way. Jason thought about how supporting obsessions was important for ghosts to have their obsessions supported. Reading wasn’t Really his obsession, he didn’t think, but it sure was an interest and it felt really good to get to share with someone new. 
By the end of the dinner Jason has well and truly decided that this was a date. Danny was cute, good, and passionate, and a good listener, Oh and strong as Fuck which was always a turn on for Jason. Speaking of powerful…
“Can I ask you another sort of serious question?” Jason asked after they got their dessert. Danny looked up, mouth full and a little smear of chocolate on his top lip, Jason resisted the urge to reach across the table and wipe it off. Danny nodded. “When Damian gave me his little shovel talk he mentioned that you’re going to be a god some day?” He said, tilting his head. Maybe that was a third date sort of conversation but it seemed like it would be important to understanding Danny.
Danny choked a little and swallowed, sighing heavily. “That’s what I’ve been told,” Danny grumbled. “There’s a prophecy apparently, and with how my powers have been progressing even just in the first 2 years since I died, I can already go toe to toe with some Ancients and win so… Ya, I guess it’s probably inevitable, especially since I haven’t stagnated yet. I don’t want to be one really, I didn’t ask for this, but whatever. I probably can’t stop it.” He slumped back in the booth, looking tired. 
Shit Jason shouldn’t have brought that up. “Hey you’ve got time right? That won’t be for a while. Also, what’s an Ancient?” 
“Very old, very powerful spirits. They’re essentially their own pantheon, Ancient is basically just what ghosts call gods.” He said with a shrug.
“Makes sense, I mean gods usually are ancient. Even more reason you don’t have to worry about that right now. I mean you’re far from ancient,” Jason pointed out, earning himself a little smile from Danny. 
“Ya, you’re right,” He agreed and went back to eating his dessert, the conversation moved on to the music they liked.
When the bill came Jason put his card down without letting Danny see what the bill came to and passed it back to the waitress. They lingered in the booth for a while still chatting, unwilling to part ways yet. If Jason didn’t know his family would want Danny home before they went out on patrol he might have suggested they just go to a park and walk for a while. Talk, maybe each take one of his wireless earbuds and take turns picking songs. But he had a feeling Damian really would try to kill Jason if he didn’t get to see Danny home safe. 
Eventually they left, wandering back to Jason’s motorbike and Danny snuggled up to Jason’s back again as they drove back to the manor. The silence was companionable until Jason pulled up, propping the bike up to let Danny get off. He took off his helmet and handed it back to Jason, not letting go immediately when Jason took it so their hands were touching. 
“This was nice, I had fun,” Danny said, blushing a little and looking down.
“It was, we should do it again soon,” Jason agreed, “I’ll text you okay?” 
“You’d better,” Danny teased before walking back towards the manor. 
Damian opened the door for him, shooting Jason a glare before slamming it making him laugh. He was still a child no matter how much he pretended he wasn’t. Jason kicked off on his bike and zoomed off, heading home to get ready for patrol.
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nnnyxie · 9 months
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kuroo, atsumu, osamu, bokuto, ushijima, & kenma with a chubby s/o (i added ken as a little treat [lowkey to myself..])
(pretty & beautiful are used, could be considered suggestive)
(requested by @starrbright)
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kuroo tetsuro ;
as much as i love to slander him— he is a true romantic and will treat you like you’re a higher being.
he doesn’t care if you’re chubby or not. he’s the type of guy to say “that just means there’s more of you to love” (which is lowkey kinda cute, he’s so dumb)
i hate him (affectionate). he just adores you and loves your to hold your stomach and hips (he will whisper awful pick up lines in your ear while holding you though [he’s such a loser /aff]). he just can’t get enough of you, he’s constantly touching you, it’s a spectrum of linking pinkies to yk..
anyways… he’s always showering you in affection and gifts. takes you to specific stores that have plus sized clothing. to be more specific, expensive plus sized stores. he makes you try on everything. yk how men do that whole manspread thing?? yeah, he does that on the couches near the dressing rooms and does that little finger whirl to make you twirl (that rhymes).
he’s always telling you how beautiful you are to him and how breathtaking you are. he’s so in love with you it makes him look stupid (affectionate).
he’s ALWAYS bragging to his friends about you and telling all of his coworkers that he has the prettiest partner (he’s so dumb, i love him)
miya atsumu ;
is he a major asshole? yes. but does that extend to you? absolutely not.
he’s another absolute LOSER (affectionate). he’s so in love with you. you could stab him and he’d thank you. i strongly believe he’s very into thick/chubby people. he loves laying on your thighs or stomach.
ngl when you first heard about how he was in high school, you were vv uncomfortable w/ him because you thought he’d treat you the same (even though you’re MSBY’s manager)
so you didn’t interact with him unless it was to pass out towels/water bottles or go over notes (which you tried to get that over with quickly). and it kinda pissed him off cause he thought you were so pretty (it’s physically painful how attractive you are to him).
he decided to confront you one day. the team was in the locker room, yk just doing their thing, and he was finally able to get you alone. so he strides on over to you (like the loser he is) and asks why you avoid him. and obviously you hesitate but he kept pushing for an answer. when you told him, he was genuinely stunned. he stutters out how he’s sorry he made you feel that way and offers to take you to a restaurant as a way to start new (aka he tricked you into going on a date).
anyways— after a few more ‘hang outs’ of getting to know each other, he finally asks you on a proper date (osamu made him. he said that atsumu couldn’t just keep tricking you to going on dates. atsumu protested) (ps if u got boobs, he’ll squish em HARD so beware)
miya osamu ;
my LORD he loves chubby people. you CANNOT change my mind !!!!!
okay okay so…….. he met you at a farmer’s market <3 you had a booth and you were selling his favorite seasonings !!! he didn’t really LOOK at you until he went to pay for his spices and good LORD he basically drooled all over himself.
he whimpered a little… your curves made him feel a teensy bit crazy. and when you spoke?? when you laughed at a corny joke about seasonings?? he fell in love right then and there.
he asked for your number after the small conversation and invited you to try his food at his restaurant. when you realized he was the owner of onigiri miya, you were kind of shocked. you only ever ordered online. plus, i mean— you only got his first name. but that’s besides the point
anyways, you would have cooking/dinner dates and afterwards you’d just cuddle, yk cutesy stuff. he always made it a point to hold all of you or at least most of you. (he just loves touching you)
he has his hands on you whenever he can and he’ll squeeze whatever part of you he could. his favorite though— your butt and thighs. but sometimes he’ll squeeze them too hard and you’ll have to pinch him.
bokuto koutaro ;
okay so— let’s say you work at onigiri miya. you’re the sweet new employee that the team has yet to meet (aside from shitty [/aff] atsumu).
the moment he walks through that door and sees you, it’s like one of those cheesy romcoms where the main character sees a glow around you and everything is in slow motion. brows up, eyes wide, mouth agape, face red. he’s genuinely in awe of you. (atsumu notices and makes sure to get a seat in your serving area)
when you come to bring them their food, bokuto is so nervous— his palms are sweaty and his whole face is red. at first you thought that maybe he was red because he was upset about not getting the other server (yk like red in the face anger??).
he ends up asking for your number at the end of his meal. you thought that maybe it was a joke cause, well, he’s a big ass athlete and usually those people don’t go for your type (which is so stupid bc chubby people are <3 [they’re very much my type]). but those thoughts left when you saw how nervous he was about it. this 190+ cm man was shaking because he was so nervous (it was cute).
he definitely messages you as soon as he leaves. he ends up calling you later that night, just so he could ask to take you out on a date (poor guy was too nervous to ask when he saw you) (the date went well and was very nice).
he’s very physically affectionate so expect his constant need for touch. when you’re both sitting, he likes to hold your thigh. especially when he’s driving (yk like— the one hand on the wheel, one hand on your thigh thing). he also loves to hold your hips and squeeze them. he says it gives him energy— doesn’t make sense but okay !
ushjima wakatoshi ;
he’s like— a chubby chaser but also not?? if that makes sense???
anyways !! i’d like to think you two have been together since the end of high school <3 you guys met through tendou in your first year (he was totally setting you two up) and oddly became fast friends. then he asked you out after the karasuno match (you were comforting him and the question just came out on it’s own. like he was thinking about being with you and his mouth said something before his brain could comprehend).
so yes, you’ve been together for a looong while.
he unintentionally brags about you. like— the adlers will ask why he declines their invitations to go out sometimes and he’ll say “my partner is making dinner at home. they’re very good, i’d rather have their food. restaurants don’t make food as good as theirs” but that ends up in the adlers coming to your house to try your food. (a warning would’ve been nice)
speaking of food and when you’re cooking— he loves to hold you while you do so. he’ll squish your stomach and hips (his favorite parts) while swaying to the music that’s playing (maybe you got soul and r&b playing [i am currently fixated on lauryn hill so bare with me]) it can get a little annoying (i like cooking alone so,,, yeah) but he’s very sweet and cute and amazing, so he gets a pass.
mmmm this man loves to cuddle, i just know it. he loves the position where like— half of his body is draped over you and he has his head on your chest cause it lets him touch his favorite parts of you.
kozume kenma ;
he doesn’t care what you look like. if you have a good personality then that’s all that matters to him.
when he’s gaming, he likes to sit on the floor in front of you so that he’s in between your thighs and they sort of rest on his shoulders. which can be dangerous because sometimes he’ll get so excited and try to jump up but drags you off the couch/bed.
whenever you’re playing games (maybe you’re taking turns??) he’ll turn himself (yes, he’s still on the floor) and rest his head between your thighs or lays his head on one of them. sometimes he’ll lay on the couch/bed so he could hug your waist (i like to think he’s clingy when he’s close w/ someone).
he’ll brag about you on his stream and taunt kuroo for not having a partner yet. he’ll actually be so mean to kuroo saying shit like “you’re the only cat at a horse orgy party” (they have such a beautiful friendship)
he also likes to sit in your lap (i wanna cradle him… i think i have issues??) and usually faces towards you when he does
he’s a BITER!!!!! if he’s ever laying on your lap or sitting between your legs— he’ll just fuckin bite you. when he has his head on your stomach??? CHOMP. when you’re cooking or putting dishes away?? shoulder bite. he’s just the type of guy to bite as a way of showing affection (me too tho ???)
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my boys <3
sorry this took so long!!
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hopelesswritergall · 3 months
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Better than revenge (Part 1/?)
Summary: Aemond isn't aware of your feelings for him and brings his girlfriend to the family's vacation. Careful thought out plans, fucking a brother and a mean girlfriend leads to some interesting situations
A/N: I've decided to split it, to give myself more motivation and to post more :)) I have really, really really worked hard on this and would love to hear your guys's thoughts!
Likes, Reblogs and Comments aren't required but are much appreciated!!
Taglist (Send me an ask or comment to be added For this series or in general) @daenerysapologist @simp-aholic @howyouloveyourdragon
TW: Aemond being clueless(?), Alys being bit creepy, fingering, cheating (not on reader)
Aemond Targaryen x reader, Aemond Targaryen x Alys, (Slight) Aegon Targaryen x reader
The story starts when it was hot and it was summer
You never would’ve thought your summer would be this good. Six whole weeks of pure enjoyment, swimming, tanning, drinking and summer love. Your friend Helaena invited you to her family’s luxurious villa. You were practically packing your bags the moment  she mentioned there would be a private beach and sea, already imagining all the adventures that would take place on the beach. But when she mentioned that  you guys would be joined by her brothers…. That caused you to almost sprint out the door, buy a whole new wardrobe and get your nails done. It was the set up for a perfect vacation. Alcohol, beach, guys, and Helaena. 
And, I had it all I had him right there where I wanted him
Helaena did not exaggerate. The villa was more luxurious than the grandest hotels you’ve ever seen. It radiated rich energy. As you approached the villa, you could feel that this was going to be the best summer ever. You were in awe of even the smallest things, and Helaena found it quite amusing to see her best friend gawk at the stuff she found normal. Like the way they had the most beautiful view ever, the way the beds made you feel like you were in heaven and that the shower was a whole experience on its own. 
It was no secret to Helaena, at least, that you had a massive crush on her youngest brother Aemond. He was perfect in your eyes. He was tall, handsome, studying at university and he basically looked like he came right  out of an action movie as the bad guy. He was the perfect guy. Well in your eyes. So, you thought this little vacation would be the perfect opportunity  to make a move on him. You’d practically set it up, hinting at a possible crush on the man in front of him. But while he may be handsome and book smart…. He wasn’t the best at picking up the hints. You thought it was pretty clear what your feelings were. Because to any normal person, they would’ve picked up the hints. But we’re talking about Aemond here… and he did not.
She came along, got him alone and let’s hear the applause 
You were excited to finally see Aemond, and maybe for something to happen. But when he arrived at the mansion, he wasn’t alone. He was accompanied by a slightly older woman, and you never wanted to kill someone this much before. The way his hand was on her waist. The way he expressed his love for her when Helaena inquired about her. 
“Oh this? This is Alys, she’s my girlfriend.” 
That word, Girlfriend, made you want to punt Alys into the sun. The room went silent as he said it. Nobody knew, nobody expected it. If at all they expected Aegon to bring someone along. Helaena was the first to speak up “Great..for you? Idk man we just weren’t expecting this, or her.” She said slightly nodding to Alys, who was noticeably older than Aemond. You felt like you needed to know more so you asked a question for yourself. 
“How’d you guys meet? Aemond isn’t exactly known to go out and socialize..” 
She took him faster than you can say sabotage
“Oh, we met at the library, I was reviewing some essays and he was studying. I couldn’t help but see him and make a move on him. He just looked so cute, studying and being all focused like that.” Alys says as she rubs his upper arm. It made you want to remove your eyeballs from their sockets. 
I never saw it coming, wouldn’t have suspected it
“That's...great. I-I’m..i'm happy that he finally found someone, it was starting to get a little sad for Aemond…” you choked out, not meaning a word of it. Your eyes met Helaena’s, her eyes telling that she was clueless that this was happening. 
I underestimated just who I was dealing with
Alys didn’t look like someone Aemond would date, but also at the same time she looked exactly like someone he would date. It was weird, you’ve never felt so jealous in your life. Not even in kindergarten when someone else got selected to erase the board. This tops it all. 
She must’ve known the pain was beating on me like a drum
The look in her eyes… They told a different story. They told the story of a woman who was well aware that what she was doing was hurting you. To make it even worse she grabbed his face on both sides and kissed him, making sure to have him positioned like that so you could only see her face and the enjoyment on her face as she torments you. You tried to be strong and kept a neutral face.
She underestimated just who she was stealing from
“Let’s go and have some drinks.” Came your voice, breaking the silence as the ‘lovers’ finished kissing. Alys lifted her eyebrows in surprise, she hadn’t expected you to be so calmly about the whole situation. Inside you were screaming, crying and doing unspeakable stuff to Alys. But like I said, you’re strong. You grabbed a big bottle of whiskey and poured some of it into the 4 glasses present at the table. 
“Oh, Alys, we’re a glass short. We weren’t expecting anyone else to join. Do you mind grabbing another glass from the cupboard? I think it’s in the kitchen.” You said, feigning surprise that there was a glass missing. You knew damn well there was a glass missing. Just felt like pestering her a bit. 
“Oh, well I’m not so sure where it is. Could you show me? It would give my dear some time to talk with his siblings.” Alys said and it made your blood boil, she knew the game and she was a master at it. 
“Actually I’m not familiar with the place, I think it’s best if you take Aemond.”
“Well then it will be fun for both of us won’t it? Exploring the place, becoming besties.” You could feel the need to throw up getting increasingly stronger with each sentence she got out of her mouth.
Holding back words you accepted, as to not make it suspicious. 
“Fine… I’ll join you.” 
Everything about the woman made you want to drown yourself in the ocean, but the way he looked at her made you want to go through the fires of hell and challenge the devil to a boxing game. His look was full of love, love that wasn’t aimed at you. You followed her to the kitchen, trying to act like the perfect person.
“It was kind of inevitable, wasn't it?” Alys said as she grabbed the glass from the cupboard, twirling it a bit around in her hands
“What was?” You asked her, genuinely confused as to what she was aiming at.
“Aemond getting someone like me. I mean come on, you didn’t make a move, so I did. Can you blame me?”
This fucking bitch.
She’s not a saint and she’s not what you think,
How she talked to you at that moment. If only Aemond knew. She wasn’t the perfect little saint she pretended to be. She was just another common whore. Probably interested in the money he’d get if his father were to pass away. And the way she looks at Aegon, the same gaze in her eyes as the one she gave Aemond. 
 She’s an actress, whoa 
She doesn’t actually love him, you know of it. You caught her on a particular evening in hers and Aemonds bedroom. You were just walking by when you noticed the door was open, so you took a peek inside. There was Alys, laying on her stomach, wearing only her lingerie, taking photos. You knew they weren’t for Aemond because after she was done taking the pictures you heard her take a phone call. “I’ve taken some pictures for you Derek. You’ll be getting them soon, I hope you’ll like them cutie.” 
 You just needed to either show to Aemond that she is lying, or make him realize she isn’t the one without mentioning that part. And boy, oh boy, you got a plan. Involving none other than the player himself, Aegon. 
He was a moth to the flame
He seemed so impressed by her. Like she was everything he ever wanted. But still you couldn’t accept it. Somehow he still glanced over at you.. in a way that isn’t platonic. You could see the longing in his gaze when he looked at you. Like he wasn’t entirely happy in his relationship, which wasn’t surprising. 
She was holding the matches, whoa
Alys seemed a little too smug that vacation. It started, of course, when she walked in by his side, but the rest of the days she was awful. Not just to Aemond, but to basically everyone. Making everything about her, making everyone work for her, it was excruciating to watch and endure.
 “Oh, I’m sorry Helaena, I know you just went to the store to get the groceries for dinner. But I forgot to mention I don’t eat meat, you see I’m a vegetarian. Can you maybe work around that?” Alys asked ‘sweetly’
“Well… we’re making hamburgers on the barbecue today.. I can’t really work around that unless you want to eat only bread?” Helaena said to her truthfully 
“Oh well. That’s not very inclusive isn’t it? A shame, I thought you guys knew better.” She said before walking away.
The other incident was when you, Aegon and Helaena wanted to go to a club in the city and were asking them to join.
“Yo Aemond, Alys. We’re going to the club, you guys wanna join?” Aegon asked while leaning on the door frame.
“That’s sounds good-“ Aemond was quickly cut off by Alys
“But honey, you said we would walk down the beach together.”
“We can do that another time… I’d like to go to the club.”
“Well I guess you don’t love me then?!” She started to guilt trip him, it probably wasn’t the first time as it seemed a natural reaction. Whenever Aemond would say no, she’d start the guilt tripping.
You guys went with just the three of you to the club, leaving Alys and Aemond alone.
She had no issue flaunting her body during her stay at the mansion, after taking a shower she’d gladly only wear a towel around her or better only wear panties and his shirt. The smell of his cologne would fill the room and it was almost enough to reduce you to tears. And Aemond? He seemed under some kind of hypnosis by her, he was avoiding you like the plague, it really did make you wonder what she told him
Soon, she's gonna find stealing other people's toys
So you made an action plan, if not to get Aemond for yourself, atleast to have a little fun at your stay and not be a miserable cunt all day long. It would happen at the next beach party, where Alys would of course insist there would be lots of alcohol. Because, you reasoned, that’s the only way Aemond would think she’s pretty. Aegon knew about your feelings for Aemond, everyone did except him. So he was more than willing to help you out and get an evening of pleasure for himself. I mean who wouldn't want to, you were stunning. Aegon knew you were in love with Aemond, but still. One night together won't hurt anyone
On the playground won't get you many friends
You approached Aegon to go over the final points. You were both sitting on the terrace outside the mansion. You wanted Aemond to already feel a tad uncomfortable so your head was on Aegon's shoulder. “Okay so, let's just go over it one last time. Your room is next to Aemond's and Alys’ room. So we shall do it there.” You said while playing a bit with his hair, just because you wanted Aemond didn't mean you wouldn't enjoy the night with Aegon. You had heard the stories about his skills in the bedroom. Everyone has.
“Yeah, so after we've all relaxed on the beach and the rest goes to their respective rooms, you and I will go together to my room, already alluding to something being there. Then we have the best night ever, and then bam you leave the room after Aemond has left his and then it's all up to you.”
She should keep in mind, she should keep in mind
It was the evening you would commence your plan. It started off great, you guys played some monopoly, drank on the beach and just had a great time. Then Helaena spoke first “It was a great evening but it’s already getting late and I’m going to head for bed you guys.” You shot Aegon a look that said ‘This is the moment to go for it’.
“Yeah guys.. we’re going to head to bed as well.” He said while grabbing your hand and rubbing your knuckles lovingly. 
“Yeah we’re getting up early tomorrow to go for a walk to the village.” You said as you let yourself get led by Aegon towards the house.
It left Alys and Aemond quite confused to say the least. Aemond didn’t quite know why he didn’t feel happy. He was very confused as to why he felt jealous. He had Alys, why would he care that you and Aegon were heading to the house together. Maybe there was nothing happening between the two of you and he was just imagining things. He hoped at least.
“Well, I think we should go to bed then as well. It’s getting colder as well. Come on Alys.” Aemond motioned for Alys to join him, he wanted to see if you would go to your own room or join Aegon. The walk to the mansion was silent. Nobody said anything. There was just the sound of the sand crunching beneath all the shoes and the sound of the ocean in the background. Aegon opened the door for you and playfully bowed.
“My lady.”
You laughed at his antics before entering the mansion with him right behind you. Instead of going to the right, where your room was. You followed Aegon to the left, towards his room. Aemond’s heart dropped and he felt a tightness in his chest. Why did he feel like this? He had Alys, he shouldn’t have to mind that you and his brother were sharing a night. Sharing a room. Sharing a bed…
He quickly went to his own room when he saw the two of you enter the room. It felt like his world was crumbling down. But he had Alys.. that was what he wanted…..right? He started to doubt himself. Maybe the person he wanted had been right in front of him the whole time. Maybe he had been blind the whole time.. a small light bulb seemed to turn on in his brain. All the times you have tried to confess to him and he was just too blind to see it.
At New Year’s Eve when you wanted someone to kiss you, you had been looking at Aemond when you voiced your complaints. 
Last winter when you were cold and needed someone to hug you, it was him you were looking at. 
God he was a fool, he didn’t notice and now you’re in bed with his brother. 
He tried to forget about it, but his attempts were futile as his bed was directly next to the wall to Aegon’s room. Where you were voicing your excitement quite loudly. Moaning Aegon’s name, begging for more and making lewd noises. Aemond wished he was the one causing you this pleasure.
“Well. They’re having fun. Wouldn’t have imagined it.” Alys said
“Just shut up for once.” Aemond replied, his tone rather sharp. He was realizing his mistakes and he wanted nothing more than to rush into your room and kiss you. But he had Alys
There is nothing I do better than revenge (Revenge), ha
Aemond did not get a good night's rest. After you and Aegon were finally done fucking, he couldn’t close his eyes without picturing you. Well picturing you naked and underneath himself. It was wrong! He had a girlfriend, whom he loved… He thought at least he loved her, but now he isn’t so sure anymore. At 9 am he decided that to get through the day he needed coffee. So he went to exit his bedroom and when he opened the door his heart seemed to fall into a bottomless pit. 
In the doorway of Aegon’s room, were you. Standing in shorts and Aegon’s shirt. It was like the gods were playing a cruel game with him. Making him see you in situations he wished he was a part of. Wishing it was his shirt you were wearing right now as you were walking in front of him, also going to the kitchen. He had to restrain himself, to not go up right behind you and hold you in his arms. As you walked to the kitchen you plopped yourself on the kitchen island, completely ignoring the bar stools. 
“So you’re making coffee? Can I have some as well Aem?” He had his face to the wall where the coffee machine was, but if you could’ve seen his face as you called him Aem. It was completely red. He was blushing so hard, he had to cough to compose himself.
“Uh yeah for sure.” There was a short awkward silence before the machine pinged to let you know it was done.
“You’re up pretty early, that’s a new one.” You said teasingly 
“…..I couldn’t really sleep last night.” He said, not wanting to admit the reasons why he couldn’t sleep, but you knew. You hid your face behind your coffee cup a bit as you were biting your lip to not burst out laughing.
“Yeah….. I also slept pretty late, had a fun night.”
He couldn’t help himself anymore. As your legs were swinging while sitting on the kitchen island, he positioned himself between them, coming real close to your face. The smell of his familiar cologne and the smell of coffee hitting your nose. He gently grabbed your chin making you look up to him.
“Oh I know you had fun last night, the walls are pretty thin here. Princess.” You pretended to be absolutely embarrassed about the whole situation while you were cheering inside. It worked,
“Now don’t pretend this wasn’t your end goal. For me to feel jealous, for me to want you, wanting to show you who can make you scream louder.” Now this, this was even more than you’d ever dreamt of happening because you fucked Aegon.
His hands started to caress your thighs getting close to the place Aegon ate out last night intensively. 
Your breath seemed to hitch in your throat and you could feel your cheeks heat up. 
“Well… What if it was my goal? What would you do?”
“I think that if that was the case, hypothetically of course, I’d do something like this.” In one fluent movement he had freed you of your shorts and panties dropping them on the ground whilst still in between your thighs keeping them spread and giving him free access to what he wants. 
“Mmm look at you, all flustered. Am I having this effect on you princess? Am I making you feel stuff? Maybe….right here?” At the last part his hand was teasing your folds. Feeling the wetness already coating it.
“All for me isn’t it, pretty girl? Bet you had to refrain yourself from screaming my name last night didn’t you? You drive me crazy, you know that?” He said as he slowly entered his finger, making sure to hit your walls, driving you crazy.
“Aemond…. anyone could walk in..” You said. 
"Now, now.That didn’t seem to stop you last night now did it?”
Aemond continued teasing you before he brought you to your first climax, he pulled his fingers out of you and licked them clean. He leaned in to kiss you, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.
“There’s more where that came from Princess, all in due time, all in due time…” He then walked away, with his coffee in hand like nothing had just happened. You on the other hand were blushing like crazy, pulling your shirt down and trying to compose yourself
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blondwhowrites · 1 month
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A/N: This is for all my autistic homies. I fucking love you guys 😘. Btw this is based on how autism shows itself in girls/women. Remember for all my autistic girlies, never ever feel sorry for being yourself ❤️
"Mattheo, I'm autistic." 
Mattheo looked at you, mouth agape. He raised an eyebrow, looking at you quizzically, obviously confused. "What's that?" he questioned, his head tilting slightly to the side. 
You stared at him, unblinking. "You don't know what autism is?" You asked, slowly processing his lack of information. Was wizard society really that far behind? Damn. You sighed, chewing on your lower lip. How was one supposed to explain autism to someone who has probably no idea what disabilities even are? 
"Well, Matty, to sum it up, I don't work like other people do," you tried to explain while sitting down next to him. "My mind works differently than yours and other people's." 
He watched you curiously, taking in your words and trying to make sense of them in his mind. "Is that supposed to scare me away because, darling, it isn't working? You're not getting rid of me." 
You laughed, shaking your head. "I mean, it might scare some people away, but no, that's not why I'm telling you this," you replied, your heart swelling with happiness at seeing his positive reaction. "I'm telling you this because I want you to know that being in a relationship with me will be different from other relationships you have been in before." 
Mattheo nodded, his foot repeatedly tapping the ground. "Well, I'm willing to learn. So lay it all on me, baby," he chuckled, his lips curling up in a smile as he looked at you. He watched as you wrung your hands together, and he reached out, grabbing one of your hands and squeezing it. "Darling, I'm being serious when I say I want to learn." 
Your shoulders went slack, and you let out a deep sigh. The nerves you felt slowly washed away with the assurance of his words. "Well," you began.
"I have a hard time with social cues and reading people. If someone is mad at me or annoyed, I won't be able to tell unless they specifically tell me that. While some people might be able to take hints, I can't really recognize them. I need you to be straightforward with me about your feelings." Your eyes darted to his, making sure he was listening before you continued.
"I can't handle loud and crowded places that well. They make me overwhelmed and overstimulated, and that can lead me to have a meltdown. Which is when my mind practically shuts down, or at least it feels like it, and I kind of regress during those. I can't speak or do anything, and I tend to hurt myself during those, like hitting myself. I also sometimes hurt others when they try to help me through my meltdowns. I don't mean to; I just can't really control what I do in those moments. Sometimes even the slightest of things can cause me to melt down or panic. If a change of plans happens, I can sometimes have extreme reactions to it that can derail my entire day. I'm not very good with change. I stim a lot, and sometimes it can look weird. Like, whenever I'm excited, you know how I jump up and down and flail my hands? That's me stimming. Repetitive motions, stuff like that. I also have a weird relationship with touch and intimacy. It depends on the person; for example, I feel comfortable touching you, but with Blaise, I don't. It changes a lot."
Mattheo listened intently to your words, nodding along and trying to make a mental checklist. All of this was important to you, and that meant it was important to him too. He didn't care how long this conversation would take, he was willing to hear everything you had about this.
"I go non-verbal sometimes, and I can't speak or talk for hours up to days. I literally can't talk, even if I want to. That usually happens after meltdowns or when I'm feeling really intense emotions. I have sensory issues and can't wear some clothes because of how they feel on my body. My relationship with food is basically non-existent. I can't eat some things because of how it feels, and sometimes I go selective eating, and it's really hard to eat anything else besides my safe foods. I also just sometimes forget to eat because I don't really process that I feel hungry unless I'm starving. I mask my autism a lot, hence why people sometimes think I'm lying when I tell them I'm autistic. I tend to copy other people unconsciously. That's why you see me and Pansy having a lot of the same little habits. "
You finished, your voice faltering as you looked at him nervously, trying to gauge his reaction. "There's a lot of other things, but that's like a pretty surface-level breakdown of it." You added, looking away from him and at the ground. "Oh, and also, if you see me not looking at you during conversations, it's not because I'm not listening; it's because I'm just not good with eye contact."
It was a lot of new information for Mattheo. He'd never considered the fact that people could, how did you say it, work differently? He'd have to ask you more about it during a later conversation. "I can work with that," he shrugged. 
Your lips curled up into a smile, and your eyes slowly lit up. "Really?" you asked, genuinely worried that he was just playing with you. 
"Well, I mean, obviously, I have a lot to learn still, and I'm probably going to make a lot of mistakes."
"Everyone makes mistakes," you interrupted him. 
He shushed you, playfully pressing his finger to your lips to stop you from talking. "What I'm trying to say is that your being autistic changes nothing to me. It's who you are, and I love who you are. I promise you, I'm going to try my hardest." 
You felt tears prick your eyes, and you nodded. "You have no idea how much that means to me, Matty," you sniffled, and you squeezed his hand. 
"Like I said before, darling, you're not ever getting rid of me."
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bangchansgirlsblog · 7 months
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Hey wassup
If you still taking requests may I suggest angsty fic skz xreader where they imply during argument that the MC is after their money (gold digger) idk if it's better as a reaction of all members or maybe it's easier if you just one scenario with one member without adding their names and the readers can imagine whichever member they think is suitable for the scenario
“Such a Gold digger”
- Lee know
Ahh!!! Thank you so much for the request, I hope you enjoy the stories (I’ve made a few with the different boys). 🩷
!Not proofread!
Warnings: Angst/comfort
Pairing: Leeknow x reader
Summary: Basically Leeknow is a jerk and you put him in his place
**
Tired was what Leeknow was.
His muscles ached, his head was pounding and his throat was sore.
When he walked into the door I could tell he wasn’t in the brightest moods. His hair was messy, his eyes were red and cheeks a light pink.
He looked hot tho. He always looked hot.
“Hey baby.” I say putting down the coffee mug and getting up from my comfy position on the couch. I place a gentle kiss on his pink lips and try to lay down his crazy hair which left me on my tiptoes struggling to balance.
“Hey,” he softly says putting his shoes in the wrack and walking straight into the laundry room to drop his bag. A routine he would do so that he was ready for the next day because he hated waking up early to get his stuff together.
“How was your-“ I begin to ask him a question but was cut off by his irritated sigh.
“Y/n where are my dancing sweatpants?” He says loud from the laundry room.
“I haven’t washed it yet my love, it’s in the dirty pile.” I sit back down and pick up my mug. Watching the cats all pile by my feet as we continued to watch what was playing on the tv.
“Are you serious? I asked you to wash them. I need them for tomorrow.” He says frustrated
“Jeez I’ll just put them in right now. No need to be cranky.” I sigh and get up once again to go deal with his little meltdown.
“I’m not being cranky, I just asked you to do one simple thing and you didn’t even do it. God your so annoying sometimes” I take a step back and eye him top to bottom because I was wondering who he was talking to like that.
My eyes squint at him as I try to take in this little attitude he was having. Annoying? I was the annoying one?
“Jeez Leeknow I was just really busy today with-“ I try to cool down the fire that was about to start but he cuts me off again. This time it was getting under my skin.
“I don’t care.” He slams the cupboards in the laundry room trying to look for whatever it was he was looking for. “I’ll do it myself.”
“I can do it leeknow just go rest.” I say reaching out for the stuff in his hands but he shoves past me making me stumble a little. I stood there shocked, so much anger building up. I understood he had a bad day but did he really have to take it out on me. As I rub my elbow I hear him grumble.
“Your nothing but a gold digger” My heart drops as I turn to the man that was now walking past me to go to the kitchen. I grab his arm and furrow my eyebrows.
Pain and anger filling my chest as I try and process what he said. Was he being Foreal right now? What really was his problem?
“What did you just say?”
“Nothing.”
His boy towered over mine. His eyes were dark and sad. To even look at him right now without punching the shit out of him was hard.
“I’m a gold digger? Wow Leeknow.” I repeat his words. I let go of his hand in disbelief. Now I was leaving the room but I stop to look at him. My vision blurry from the tears threatening to fall from my eyes.
“Why do you always have to take out your bad days on me huh? I was busy the whole day trying to get the stuff you need for your stupid tour! I didn’t have time to be running around doing laundry. I’m not a maid. If you really want one hire a fucking assistant. Then you’ll be grateful right? You’re a fucking prick. Oh I even fucking missed Binna (Y/n’s little sister) recital today! So fuck you. I’ve never even asked you for fucking money. Never in my life. You’ve hurt me Leeknow.” And with that I grab my coffee mug and head into the room where I break down crying.
Leeknow was always short tempered but not in a mean way. More of like a “I’m mad at you so don’t talk to me” way.
Why did he have to be a jerk? Why did he have to make sure to throw things at me that he knew would get to me? He never was appreciative.
The bed was warm but felt empty, the pillows swallowed me and the blanket covered my shaking body. Loud sobs leaving my mouth and little sniffles at the end of each cry. What felt like 10 minutes was an hour. The knock on the door making me pretend to be asleep. I hear familiar footsteps come into the room and the bed sinks beside me.
A sigh leaves his lips before he begins to talk.
“Y/nie? My love? Are you awake my love?” He asks softly. His hands drawing circles on my side but I push them away and turn my back on him. Facing the other end of the bed.
“Okay fair enough, I deserve that.” I hear him say, his voice quavering. Was he crying?
“Y/nie, I’m sorry and I know sorry won’t make you forgive me right now but I’m going to find a way to make it up to you okay? What I said was out of line and so not true. I was just tired and stressed and irritated-“
“But that doesn’t matter Minho.” He looks taken back by the name Minho cause I never call him that. “I have bad days too but you don’t see me calling you names and yelling at you when I get home.” I tell him.
“I know and I need to work on it. This is the first and last time I promise. Just give me some time to make it up to you? I love you so much and never ever will I say things to hurt you.” He’s hand searches for mine and I let them intertwine.
“You were a bitch.” I mumble and I hear him chuckle.
“Yes I was but forgive me? I can’t bare you be mad at me anymore especially when I’m going on tour soon.” I let out a little whine complaining.
“Fine a forgive you,” I roll my eyes and he smiles at me.
“You’re so cute Baby.” He automatically gets on top of me and starts kissing my face everywhere which makes me burst in a fit of giggles.
“Get off babe I’m going to explode!” I yell while trying to push him away.
Soonie and the cats all hop onto the bed and cuddle beside me and leeknow as we slowly drift off to sleep. The night being forgotten.
**
Hyunjin’s part will be out soon 🩷
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ruukina · 8 months
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WOLFISH
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FANDOM: final fantasy xvi PAIRING: clive rosfield x reader ( gender neutral, afab ) RATING: explicit / 18+. minors dni. SUMMARY: After an exhausting week of running around Valisthea, you return home with your heart full and missing a certain outlaw. What you find upon your return is different... but not unwelcomed. WARNINGS: slightly rough sex, dirty talking, breeding kink, implied heat cycle. WORD COUNT: 7.7k
A/N: yeah i'm fairly down bad for this man. i normally don't write reader fics but i'm trying to expand my horizons so. here we are. gotta feed myself in this economy right?? expect more ffxvi stuff, whether its reader insert or other shit because the brainworms are very bad.
read on ao3!
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It’s a silent ride back to Hideaway, as it always is on these solo missions of yours.
It’s not a common thing, but every so often you find yourself having to run around all of Valisthea with the job of making payments and collecting orders from the many kind souls that have been helping the cause that even keeps your personal home afloat. In fact, you could even say as Cid’s personal advisor, this was your main job; Otto was busy running the Hideaway and keeping it in check, so the job fell to you when you weren’t tailing after the man you worked under.
You also didn’t mind it, because it meant you had some time to yourself. You had the wind at your back, the smell of sea water to keep you company, and you could be in your thoughts alone.
Usually you didn’t mind it, at the very least. 
It’s not a long task to do or even a hard one, in fact you’d argue that most of your time spent there is arguing with the likes of Martha and Isabelle and even L’ubor to accept the gil that Cid himself has offered to give them, but this month’s mission of yours was different. It seemed like a certain boss of yours had racked up a few requests and the people he graciously helped either wanted to give him a reward or send a letter to ask for more help. And since you were unfortunately playing messenger, it meant that you were basically running around and doing his job… in the sense of gathering the requests and gifts, of course.
So, you were being a little delayed in returning. You made sure to send a Stolas, to let everyone know you weren’t dead - just incredibly busy.
But now you finally found yourself on the ferry back home and you were impatient to get back. Excited to get back to everyone, excited to finally be returning after about a week of having to travel by Chocobo to get to everywhere.
Excited to return back to him.
“Hey, Obolus, are we almost there yet?” You peer over to the ferryman, the wind wilding through your hair.
Obolus didn’t even look back at you, as he ‘tsks’ in response. “We’ll get there when we get there. Asking every five seconds won’t make the boat go any faster.”
You scrunch your nose at him, but he did unfortunately have a point. The trip usually never feels so long, but after being away for what seems like months, you were just anxious to get back and rest your feet. The silence of the ride passes, with only the sound of waves pressing against the exterior of the boat. 
You lean against the side and take the chance to reflect on all that’s happened. All that you’ve experienced. 
All that you’ve done.
You don’t really remember when you became Cid’s advisor. It’s had to have been years at this point, you remember only barely being what one would call an adult. You were a bearer without a brand, hiding your magic behind crystals. It’s what your father had taught you, to protect you from the cruel world you were born in. You were cursed, your mother refused to even acknowledge your existence - even more so after the death of your father. You only lived the way that you did because your mother loved your father more than she loved you, and made your father take care of you.
Your father never gave up on you. An idealist in a world of realists, he really thought you could be the one to change the world. 
He set himself up for failure, you bitterly had thought when news of his death arrived at your doorstep. He died for a cause he believed in, sure, but now he expected you to carry on that torch for him. And maybe there was a part of you that wanted to fight for a better world than the one you were handed, for those like you. You weren’t really sure what your true feelings were at that time.
There was one thing you did know, however; you knew you weren’t safe in your mother’s care, so you ran the day after your father’s passing and never looked back. You’re not even sure if your mother is even still alive or if she even misses you. Did she start anew, start all over with someone else and have a child she could be proud of?
As the years went on, you found that you didn’t even care. You can’t remember her face anymore.
You were crafty, a trickster, because that’s what kept you alive. Somehow, your paths with Cidolfus Telamon crossed. Not just once or twice, but five times. Four times, you rejected his appraisal and invitation to join him.
On the fifth path crossed, and the day he saved you from death, you finally joined him. You didn’t really expect to stay long in Hideaway, only thinking you would spend a few weeks or even a month before you jumped ship. You never stayed in one place for long, because it was always too dangerous for you to attach yourself to people. But everyone was so kind, so nice to you, and welcomed you with open arms. 
Especially Cidolfus.
You clung to him a lot, maybe because despite only meeting him five times he was the only person you really knew, and somehow you managed to become his advisor with your skills and your ability to pull him back to the ground. Otto was against it at first, not because he didn’t like you, but you were barely an adult. Yet, Cid had smiled and patted you on the shoulder, telling Otto that there was more to you than meets the eye.
It’s much more than what your mother gave you. Worthless, unneeded, dirty, sinful - that’s all that she had called you. Your own father would try and raise your spirits, but her words were sharp as a knife and they cut wounds in your wrists. Weeks turned into months, months turned into years, and you stayed. You stayed with the people who would become your family.
One day, Cid left with Goetz and the wolf he ( or rather, charon ) cared for, because of rumors of Shiva’s Dominant finally rising in a place where he can finally catch her, to give her the freedom she needed. He came back with Goetz carrying a girl on his back, and a branded man with the wolf practically attached to his hip.
Clive Rosfield.
You didn’t realize it at the time, but the man before you would change your life completely.
Cid introduced you to him, asking you to watch over him and help him adjust to the Hideaway. It’s almost funny to think about, because despite Clive’s grumblings about ‘not staying long’ ( words that echoed in your head as familiar, because you had said the same thing ), when you finally got track of him again, he was out helping the people of Hideaway. 
You made a joke about that and he quickly looked away, some colour on his cheeks and the tips of his ears. It was a cute sight, unsightly for a rugged man like him. Despite his appearances, he was kind and soft, albeit a bit cynical from the hardships he faced in his life. Then you ended up helping him help people, because there wasn’t much to do at that time and you needed to stretch your legs, and that’s how Cid decided on his great idea to make Clive your personal assistant.
Clive then realized when Cid told him you ran him ragged, he meant it, because once Cid assigned Clive to you, it didn’t take you long to get him working because as long as someone could move, they could work. But of course, you joined Clive on his journey to help him out. Some days you had to stay at Hideaway but for the most part, you were at his side alongside Cid. 
You and Clive bonded together. Quick whips with one another, long nights together trying to figure out your next course of action with the Mothercrystals and how to save Valisthea, and slowly he became someone you… well, liked, essentially. You don’t exactly make friends with people, because you’ve never really had the chance to do so, but somehow Clive stabbed his way into your life and heart. 
He became softer with you, and you did too. You found it was easy to smile with him, to laugh with him, to love him. It scared you, because Clive was a Dominant - the second, mysterious Eikon of Fire, and yet something so much more than that. It was basically a target on your back, even more so than the relationship you had with Cid.
But you found that you couldn’t stop loving him, that you would endure the burning world for him. Maybe that scared you more.
He held you when you sobbed and broke down over Cid - the first time your mask of being strong ever cracked. You hated it, you hated being weak, because Cid didn’t need weak people helping him. Cid needed someone who could put themselves back together, but this time you couldn’t. The pieces of you were scattered all over the floor like glass and every time you picked one up, you cut your hand and let the blood drip from your wound.
Yet, Clive held you. He held you close, he didn’t judge you, because he was crying alongside you. Cid meant so much to everyone, including him. You sat in his arms, and he didn’t leave until he knew he could leave you alone without worrying over you. His gentleness contrasted his roughened up look, he looked at you so softly and filled with fondness towards you. He was not afraid to help pick up the pieces, even if it meant cutting his hands in the process. 
He put you back together, and he didn’t complain about it. Not even once.
Your relationship with him bloomed. Your friendship with him became something new, something else. It was a dangerous love, because of who Clive Rosfield is - what he is. Yet, you never swayed. You never faltered.
No matter what, he’s Clive to you.
But in public, he is Cid and you are Cid’s advisor - like you always were. You two were professional on the outside, only sneaking away to shed those titles when you had enough time to. You didn’t get those chances a lot, but when you did he made sure to treat you like you were a deity. You’ve had lovers in the past, but they never made you feel like Clive made you feel. He made you feel loved, appreciated, cared for. You took care of him, but he always took care of you in return. He never simply just took, he always gave back.
No wonder you were anxious to get back to him; you’ve missed him dearly.
“We’re approaching the Hideaway!”
The ferryman’s voice pulls you from your thoughts. You open your eyes, quickly looking towards the horizons. Even in the blackest of nights, with the moon being your only light, you could see the shape of the broken down airship that you and everyone else called home. You could feel the smile creeping on your face.
“I’m home,” you whisper.
To who exactly? Not yourself, but to the man who was waiting for you.
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You thank Obolus for the ride home as you step off of the boat, quickly rushing up the stairs. Most people had turned in for the night so there were only a few souls still haunting the Hideaway, and they offered their greetings to you and a cheery ‘welcome back, advisor!’, to which you returned with a smile.
You feel a little silly rushing through the halls, like an eager child, but you were happy to be home. 
You were happy about seeing him again.
You skid to a stop when you reached your destination. The Tub and Crown was a bit of a ghost town around this time, but you knew there were still a few people aside from Maeve haunting the area.
And you weren’t wrong. There sat Gav and Jill, with Torgal laying at Jill’s side. The hound lifts his head up at the sound of your footsteps, and once he lays his eyes on you he quickly stands up and rushes over towards you with a happy sounding bark. Since becoming Clive’s partner, Torgal never really left your side either. If he wasn’t with his owner or Jill, he was shuffling at your hip and following you around.
“Torgal!” You greet happily, kneeling on the ground to pet him and spoil him with some treats you carried on hand once you got close enough to where the two sat.
The two break from their conversation to see what Torgal was barking at, both of them greeting you with a smile on their faces.
“Well, if it ain’t our favorite advisor!” Gav slams his drink down. He looks you over, peering at the basket of gifts and requests at your side - all for a certain someone. “Talk about bein’ fashionably late. You weren’t kiddin’ when you said almost everyone in Valisthea was keepin’ you away.”
Jill nods her head in agreement, cupping her own chin to look over the heavy basket. “It sounds like you’ve had quite the adventure yourself.”
“Oh, it was the same ol’ stuff I deal with everyday. Just this time everyone in Valisthea caught wind that Cid’s advisor was in town and decided to make it their problem.” You rub Torgal’s belly, to which the hound accepts with happy pants. 
Speaking of the aforementioned man… You look to the side of Gav. No handsome brooding man there. 
You look to the side of Jill. No handsome brooding man there, either.
“Where is Clive?” You stop petting Torgal for a moment. “I figured he would be hanging out with you.”
Gav rolls his eyes a little, both good naturedly but also in some slight annoyance. “Went right to his chambers to work on things when we got back. He’s been in a bloody mood all week.” The scout holds up a finger. “Scowlin’ more than usual, more antsy than usual, tappin’ his foot while he waits at the door.” Every reason is met with a finger going up. “Not like everyone is afraid of him here, but it felt like we had to walk on eggshells around him. Even Charon was tryin’ not to rib him so hard.”
You blink a little, a brow raised. “Has the missions been going poorly or something?”
“Fuck no,” Gav shakes his head in response. “Everything’s been going smoothly. He’s just been actin’ like a shite.”
“He hasn’t been that bad,” counters Jill. Though, there’s a slight pause of hesitation from her. “But Gav isn’t wrong, he has been in a bit of a mood. More than likely, he was just worried about you.”
Worried about you? It’s not like you can’t handle yourself, and you’ve definitely been on missions longer than a week without him. You can’t help but scrunch your nose in thought - as always, when you’re thinking hard. Something was up with him, clearly.
Jill reads you like a book, with a smile on her face. “He’s still up, last time I checked. He’s burying his nose in reports as to distract himself. I’m sure he’ll appreciate the visit from you.” She stands up from her seat, as Torgal also rolls over and trots back to her side. “I’ve got some work to do with Tarja, but it was nice seeing you tonight.”
You nod your head, standing up and dusting yourself off. “Tarja, huh? Try not to stay up too late with her, alright?” You laugh a little when Shiva’s dominant huffs softly at your teasing, giving you just a gentle nudge in return. The two of you have gotten quite close over the years, and she was supportive of you and Clive. You felt like you could sigh in relief at that, that you didn’t have to worry about Clive’s childhood friend coming after you.
Gav finishes his drink, standing up as well. “I’m turnin’ in for the night.” He pats your shoulder with a grin on his face. “Make sure you give our leader a nice, warm welcome!”
He only grins harder seeing your cheeks turn red like a tomato at the implication of his words, and Jill’s soft laughter only makes you turn ever redder. Ah, there was your punishment for teasing Jill. The three of them make their way out of the alehouse, your eyes following them as you think about your conversation.
He’s in a mood.
What could he be in a mood about? You’ll have to do some digging, which isn’t hard - if there’s one thing Clive is with you that not even a sour mood could change, it’s that he was honest with you. It’s one of his best traits, really, that he’s open with his feelings and doesn’t usually shy away from speaking his mind about certain things. It’s not always easy, because there are some things he keeps to his chest, but for the most part communication is always important between you two. You pick up the basket of gifts and quickly make it to the end of the hall, where Clive’s chambers were.
And well, they were technically your chambers too, you think with the heat growing at your cheeks once more.
Shifting the basket a little, you use your free hand to knock on his chamber doors - once, twice and thrice.
“The door’s unlocked.” Clive’s low voice fills your ears. He already has you sighing and letting out a quivering breath. Founder, you’ve missed him.
You open the door with a smile on your face. You take in the sights before you - his room is as you left it, with the man himself seated at the desk. He seems to be burying himself in his usual reports and paperwork, just as Jill said. He didn’t even lift his head upon you entering.
“Guess who.” You smile, as you close the door behind you.
The sound of your voice has Clive immediately lift his head from his work. Cerulean eyes widened, the quill he was using drops from between his fingers and clattering on the desk.
“You’re back.” He sounds almost breathless. His chest raises a little as he breathes in and out, those cerulean eyes of him looking a lot more puppy-dog than usual.
This was different, indeed.
You walk towards him, placing the basket on the edge of the desk not covered in scattered papers. “Just got back. Gifts for you by the way, I was hunted down by weary souls who wanted to give their thanks to the so-called Cid the Outlaw.” You peer at him with a gentle, loving smile on your face.
He laughs a little in response, a rare smile forming on his own features. “No wonder you’re late. Sorry about that. I’ll be sure to pen my thanks to them soon.”
You shake your head at him. “Oh, don’t even start with the apologies. It’s my job to aid you, it’s kind of in the title.” A pause, shifting your feet a little as you hold your hands behind your back, shyly. “And… you know I’ll do anything for you, Clive.”
The words you whisper made him smile a little more. “You have perfect timing. I’m actually finishing up and I could use your advice.” He nudges his chair back a little, gently patting his thigh. 
For a moment, you stare with a tilted head, until you realize the implications. Your cheeks turn red.
Oh, he’s inviting you to sit there.
Oh, this was different, indeed.
But you don’t hesitate or falter at all. You take a seat on his thigh, leaning against him. One of his strong arms wraps themselves around your waist, pulling your body flushed against his. The position is a little embarrassing, you have to admit to yourself, but it feels warm, comforting - loving. It doesn’t take long for you to fall back into place, flipping through the letters and offering your advice and help to him.
It also doesn’t take long for Clive to stop paying attention. He nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent. His hot breath tickles your skin, a shiver running down your spine, as his fingers draw circles in your hip. His lips ghosts around your skin, pressing the gentlest of kisses to your neck as though he was whispering forbidden words in your skin. The quill from his fingers once again falls onto the desk, the reports forgotten about as his attention shifts to you. It’s hard to focus when he’s like this, so you decide to also forget about the many papers that littered his desktop.
“Jill and Gav told me you were in a mood.” You finally shift the conversation to what was really on your mind.
Clive only offers a grunt at first. “I’m not really in a mood.”
“Are you? You’re acting a little differently tonight.” Your fingers run through his hair, out of his eyes. “What’s on your mind, Clive? You know you can tell me.”
For a moment, he hesitates, but he knows he doesn’t like keeping secrets from you. You know he doesn’t like keeping secrets from you. He pulls you close to him, finally lifting his head to look you in the eye.
“I was fine when you left, but after a day, it felt like there was a pit in my stomach.” Clive runs his fingers up and down your hip. “Hunger, I suppose, is the best way to describe it.”
“Hunger?”
“I felt like I couldn’t focus with you gone. It was worse when I was here alone. Your scent was so much stronger than it usually was…” Clive recounts, averting his gaze for a moment from slight embarrassment, but he quickly focuses back on you. “The more days you were away, the more the hunger grew.”
“And the grouchier you got?” You tease him, though your tease was cut short and replaced with a slight yelp when he pinches your thigh with a huff.
“I wasn’t grouchy.” He counters, but his tone of voice sounds like he’s not exactly fighting the accusation.
You think about what he’s said, though. A hunger he felt for you. It started happening when you first left. He found that your scent was stronger than normal, even when you weren’t there. The symptoms sounded fairly familiar to you, and you hummed a little in thought as you ran your fingers through his hair. He groaned in delight at that, leaning into your touch and burying his face in the crook of your neck once more.
“Maybe you’re going through a rut?”
Clive lifts his head up. “A rut? I’m not a dog, love.”
“I mean, you travel with a dog, you constantly have a permanent puppy-dog eyes look on you and you turn into a dog-lizard thing. You’re kind of dog-adjacent.” You shrug cheekily, with an equally cheeky smile on your face. “But I’m serious about the last thing. We don’t know a whole lot about Ifrit. Maybe it’s going through some kind of rut or something and it’s affecting you. It is springtime, you know. Maybe nature is just setting course for Ifrit, too.”
It’s a pretty plausible theory. Clive stops to think about it for a brief moment, his breath tickling your neck once more as you sigh. Still, he says nothing at first and pauses his movements, until he looks right back up at you, his gaze meeting yours.
“You do realize the implications of your theory, right?” His pupils are blown out, more than usual. His strong, calloused hands grip your hips, shifting you a little so your lower half is flushed right against his.
Oh, there’s something pressing against you. Your body warms up, a heat and ache pooling right in your core. 
You didn’t realize how much you miss his body pressing against yours in such a sinful manner, until he rolls his hips against yours in want and need.
“I meant what I said,” you begin to say, your hands gripping to his shoulders as you slowly grind against the bulge in his pants, meeting his hips’ movements. You couldn’t help but grin a little when he moaned lowly, a sound just for you. “You know I’ll do anything for you, Clive.”
That’s all you’re able to get out at that point, because once you give him permission to do what he needs to do, Clive’s lips press against yours. It was only a sweet, soft kiss for a for seconds at best, because it quickly turned into something fierce, hungry. His tongue prods against your lips, wanting access into your warm mouth, and you gladly part your lips for him, because you need him as much as he needs you. Your tongue presses and swirls against his - it’s a small battle for dominance you never win, but you know he likes a small challenge. His own tongue presses and pins yours, until you ease away to let him completely take the reins.
The kiss is hot, wet, truly sinful. His hands grope everywhere he could, mostly squeezing at your thighs and hips with his fingers digging into your soft, plump flesh until they found their way to your rear. Squeezing and grabbing, groping in such a way that would make you flustered had you not been needy with your own arousal, he lifts you up as though you’re made of nothing but feathers, and truly you’re a little limp in his grasp. Clive’s strength always managed to make you feel dizzy, in a good way, and that doesn’t change here. He pushes his chair back, leaving the desk and the many reports he still has to do in the dust and makes his way towards his bed - your shared bed.
He only breaks the kiss to place you down on the mattress, gentle pants leaving both of your lips as a string of saliva connects the two of you. It breaks as he pulls away a little more, only to dive back in and press fluttering, wet kisses to your neck. Just like the kiss from before, it turns into something a little more hot and brutal; his lips suck at your skin to give it a bruising mark, teeth sinking into your flesh to draw just a little bit of blood from you. You groan hotly, your fingers gripping at his dark locks as your hips jolt upwards. Clive licks and kisses at the bruise and bite mark he left, panting gently against your flesh.
“You still taste so, so good.” Clive whispers into your skin, as his hands tug right at your shirt. He tries his best not to rip it, but unbuttoning your shirt during these kinds of acts was never exactly a cleanful tact, because you can already see a few buttons pop off just from him ripping it open. You chuckle a little; some things really don’t change.
Your chest is bared to him, and Clive wastes no time in pressing gentle kisses on naked skin. Trailing down, he kisses, licks and sucks on any skin he could latch himself onto and sinks teeth into your sink that leaves behind a delicious sting of pain, until finally reaching your left breast. Your breath hitches a little as his tongue swirls around the nub of your nipple, the hitched breath morphing into a needy moan once his lips latch around it to give it a gentle suck. His fingers tease and play with the unattended one, his attacks on you relentless and cruel - cruel in the sense he never slowed down.
“Clive.” you whine with a high-pitched voice, trying your best to roll your hips against his. But he doesn’t let you, pinning you down with just his pelvis. He lifts his head up, a smirk on his face.
“Just lay there and let me make you feel good,” whispers Clive. The way his low voice sounded so commanding, you can’t help but obey him. He was always like this, though; he was always chasing for your pleasure and never his own. He loved you, he wanted to make you feel good. It was never really fair! But at the same time, it truly was nice. He was so different from lovers you had in the past, who only cared about their own needs.
He attends to your other breast, giving it the same treatment - a lick here, a suck there, leaving a trail of bruises and bite marks in his wake. Once he’s satisfied, his lips start to trail downwards. He worships you like this, with his lips and his tongue, making sure there’s a patch of skin with his mark on it. His hands make work of your bottoms, pulling off the offending fabric until you were just left in your undergarments. You expect to feel his fingers on your skin so he can pull them down, but instead when you look down, you see Clive is using his teeth to pull them down.
Oh, this is different. Normally he takes his time with you; press himself against you, kiss you all over. Even as someone who prefers to please his partners more than please himself, it seems like tonight he’s impatient.
“Seems like someone’s been wanting this,” chuckles Clive as he spreads your lower lips a little to inspect you. “You’re already so soaked. All I did was tease you a little. Founder, you’re as depraved as I am.” His hot breath hits your wetness as he speaks, never once pressing his lips against you. You jolt a little at the feeling, a soft huff escaping your lips.
“You started this mess,” You tell him, your fingers already gripping in his hair. “You finish it.”
Another chuckle leaves his lips. Clive is impatient, though, and he wastes no time in pressing his lips right against your dripping entrance. His tongue is relentless here just as it was on your skin; it wastes no time in slipping inside of you, as he starts to drink your essence and fuck you with his tongue alone. It’s almost unbearable to you, in a good way - he drinks like a man starved.
Clive is so good to you, but he knows how to be so cruel, because he knows you enjoy it. He knows how easily you melt on his tongue, and he enjoys every single moment of it.
His fingers slip in as well, two of them pumping in and out as he moves upwards a little, finding your clit. The tip of his tongue flicks at it and you feel the smirk against your entrance as soon as you squeak and moan from his actions. He licks, sucks, his movements becoming faster with each second that passes. You’re trying so hard to swallow back your moans, but the moment his lips wrap around your clit and give it a hard suck, you can’t control your volume anymore. It echoes off of the walls, embarrassingly so, but your mind is so fogged that you don’t seem to care like you usually would.
The knot in your lower stomach painfully tightens, you can feel yourself reaching your peak as Clive continues to tease your clit and thrust his fingers in and out of you. Just as you’re about to find your release, though, he abruptly stops. He pulls himself off of you, his fingers are coated with your essence.
“Clive–” You begin to whine, almost in pain. You stop yourself short when you watch him lick his fingers clean - slowly, like he’s putting on a show for you. Once they’re clean, he looks at you as though he’s a predator who has caught prey in his trap. The slight darkness of the room makes his cerulean eyes have a glow to them. The knot in your stomach returns.
He intends to devour you, his way. He’s going to drag this out, until you’re begging and crying for release.
Clive crawls back onto the bed, his hands moving to undo all of the leathers and fabric of his clothing, until he’s as bare as you are. His cloak and shirt go first, dropping onto the ground until his chest is revealed to you. Greagor, you could probably write several missives about Clive’s chest and muscles, but despite what your lover may say, you’re not that depraved. You keep all of those thoughts to yourself, like a good advisor should. Your eyes drift down with his hands, watching as they fumble a little with his belt, stifling a laugh from how needy and excited he is.
You stop laughing once he finally does undo his belt and pull his pants down, revealing his hard cock to you. You’ve seen it before, it’s been inside of you multiple times now, but you still hitch your breath when you see it. The gods certainly graced Clive with something to brag about, for certain. 
If you ever do meet Ultima maybe you should thank him for giving his vessel something that would make you cross your eyes and forget your own name, but something tells you a narcissistic god obsessed with the purity of his vessel may not appreciate the sonnets a mere mortal would write about said vessel’s cock.
Pre-cum dribbles at the tip, his fingers coated in a mix of his saliva and your juices as he uses it to his advantage to stroke himself a little, to really give you a show now. You hear yourself panting, your chest heaving up and down as you watch the sinful sight before you.
“Enjoying yourself?” Clive smirks, smugness in his voice.
You huff a little in response. “I’ll only enjoy myself when you actually fuck me instead of showing off, Rosfield.”
He laughs a little, leaning down to kiss your forehead sweetly. “As my faithful advisor commands.”
You have no time to respond, as he quickly flips you so you’re on your stomach, face slightly pressed against the pillow beneath you. He presses his front against your back, the tip of his cock pressing against your wet folds teasingly. Your needy whine and rear thrusting back to try and get him inside of you earns a laugh from him, but thankfully he’s not intensely cruel tonight. He presses inside of you, though it’s not as slow as he normally is. Normally he takes his time with you, but in just seconds he’s got his entire length inside of you. You feel the way his body shudders against your back, your soaked walls clenching around him. A sigh passes your lips, morphing into a moan. 
You’ve missed this. You’ve missed him.
His thrusts are slow at first, but it doesn’t take him long for him to pick up his speed. His hips meet your backside, a wonderful symphony of skin slapping against each other fills the room, loud enough to make your ears burn with embarrassment. You bury your face in the pillow to muffle your moans. A hand wraps itself around the back of your neck, though, to pull you up towards its owner. Clive’s heavy breath is in your ear now, worsening your arousal.
“Don’t hide your voice from me,” pants Clive, sharp teeth nibbling at your earlobe. “I want to hear you.”
And you find that you can’t deny him. Your moans are loud, needy, your knuckles turning white from how roughly you’re gripping the sheets to the point where they might tear. His other hand snakes down your stomach, reaching your lower half, and his fingers make work on your clit. It’s a slow rub, his thrusts contrasting the gentleness of his fingers. You can feel yourself reaching your peak, you can feel the knot in your stomach tightening and tightening until–
Until he pulls right out of you.
You whine, loudly, at the loss. Your walls clench at nothing, and you try to thrust yourself back towards him, but Clive doesn’t let you do that. Instead, he flips you both again - him on his back and you sitting on his lap. He looks up at you with a smile, his hand running up and down your stomach once more.
“I know exactly what you like.” The outlaw says, pulling you forward so his cock rests right against your stomach. You feel how hot it is, how hard it is, and how it throbs and pulsates against your skin. “Show me how much you want to cum.”
Oh, he’s definitely dragging this out as long as he can. You can’t exactly blame him, you don’t want this to end either. 
But you also really need to reach your peak, otherwise you may burn the whole Hideaway down.
Your wobbly legs manage to hold yourself up, slowly moving down on him. Your whole body shudders as his cock fills you up again, the tip pressing against the deepest parts of your inside. You move up and down on his length, moans and pants spilling from your lips as you decide to not hide your voice any longer - because he wants to hear you. And you can’t deny him, because you don’t want to deny him.
“Founder, your voice alone drives me mad.” Clive growls, his hand squeezing your thigh as he thrusts upwards to meet your own movements. “Tried to focus on my work, tried to put you out of my head for days, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I needed you blissed out on my cock–”
He’s rambling, his voice low and rough, and you love every second of it. Clive’s not much of a talker, but when he is, he makes you feel so depraved for him. Your legs were starting to shake and feel weak already, but you push yourself - you push yourself because you want this. Because you need this from him, just as much as he needed this from you.
“Clive,” you chant his name like a prayer, over and over again. You must sound delirious.
But Clive clearly doesn’t seem to mind, the way his back arches a little just from the sound of your sweet voice. It’s a powerful feeling, you realize, having such a powerful man like him weak at you - a mere mortal, a bearer but not a Dominant. Yet, it’s a good reminder that beneath everything, Clive is a mortal man as well.
“Can you feel me, sweetheart?” He places his hand on your lower stomach, feeling the way it bulges a little from the sheer size of him. You look down, shuddering at the sight as he continues to thrust upwards, your eyes following how the bulge disappears then reappears. “You take me so fucking well. It’s like you were made for me, the way you shake your hips like a woman at the Veil.”
You can’t respond, any time you try to all that fumbles from your lips are moans and whines of pure pleasure.
“I can get so deep into you like this,” groans Clive, his other hand grasping at your hip. “All the way into you. Fuck, I could breed you right here. I could make you swell with my child.”
Oh, that’s different.
And it’s clearly a good different, the way your body responds. Your walls clench around him, as if your body had a mind of its own, as if your body was begging for the man to breed you. He notices too, and he licks his lips and smirks once he realizes you may enjoy the idea as he did.
“You would like that, wouldn’t you?” Another thrust upwards. His thrusts are getting sloppier and rougher, but Greagor does it feel so good. “I wouldn’t be able to control myself, seeing you like that. I’d fuck you every single day–”
You moan, so lecherously. “Clive, fuck, I’m going to cum!”
Both hands grab at your hips, fingers digging and sinking into your skin so hard you know there’s going to be some bruising there in the morning. But you don’t care. All you care about is the man underneath you, and chasing after your own release. Clive makes you move faster onto him, a growl rumbling from his throat.
“Go on, let yourself go.”
You were already so overstimulated from the foreplay from before, and the way his cock brushes against your sweet spots and bashes against the entrance to your womb, you can’t help it. Your walls tighten around him, and you let yourself go.
Another growl rumbles from his throat, this time he pulls you right down onto him, hard. It doesn’t take him long to follow you into a blissful climax, his hot seed pouring into you and flooding your insides. It’s a lot, more than usual, to the point where it floods out from your entrance and onto him.
You collapse onto him, and he instantly takes you in his arms. Slowly, he flips your positions again, just so he can press himself deeper into you. Thank the Founder, because your legs were about to give out.
A moment passes, until he finally pulls himself out from you. His blown out pupils watch as his seed overflows from you, dripping onto the sheets beneath you. He shudders at the sight, and you can’t help but shudder as well.
You’re fading in and out of existence, but when you mostly come to, Clive has wiped you and him down, cleaning you up and gently pressing kisses against any marks he’s left on you. The sheets will unfortunately have to wait until tomorrow. Frankly, you could give less of a shit about that.
The outlaw slumps himself against you, pulling you into his arms. You both lay there in a comfortable silence, as he buries his face in the crook of your neck.
“Thank you.” His voice trembles, a little embarrassed - that’s the Clive you know. “I’ll, uh, make sure Tarja prepares a herbal tea for you tomorrow, so that you don’t…” He trails off, hiding his face against your neck even more now.
You chuckle, feeling the hotness of his cheeks against your skin. “Feeling better?”
“Yes,” answers the male as he lifts his head up with a smile. “Much better. You always seem to know how to cure my worries and needs.”
“What can I say? I know my boss pretty well.”
He laughs, and your heart feels so warm, so in love with the man before you. Clive leans in, pressing his lips against yours to share a sweet, innocent kiss that contrasts the sinful act you both just partook in. And you kiss him back, wrapping your arms around him. You only stop when you feel something hard rub against your thigh, pulling back to see he was still pretty aroused. He’s a little sheepish at that, but he looks at you in want, in need - and love, as always.
“I don’t think one time is going to be enough for you, big guy.”
A sheepish laugh falls from his lips. “I don’t think so either. I might need a few more rounds. That is, if my faithful advisor is up to it.” 
He’s challenging you, clearly. The smirk on his face tells you all you need to know. You smirk back, bucking your hips against his to accept.
“Only if you do most of the work.” You tell him, a leg going in to wrap itself around his waist. “You made me weak in my knees, Lord Rosfield. A gentleman should take some responsibility for his actions.”
His low chuckle reaches your ears, as he leans in to press his forehead against yours. It’s a tender action, one that definitely makes you feel weak in the knees - if you hadn’t already. It doesn’t take him long to reenter you, and you can’t hide the shudder of your slightly overstimulated body. 
But you want everything he has to offer, the good and the bad of Clive Rosfield, and he’ll give it to you. 
Because he wants everything you have to offer, the good and the bad of his faithful advisor, in return.
“As you wish, my love.”
He claims your lips. The night goes on.
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“Somethin’ seems to be on your mind.”
Jill looks towards the source of the voice. Gav stands next to her, arms crossed as he meets her gaze with a raised brow. The Dominant says nothing to him, only slowly returning her gaze to where she once was looking. Gav’s line of sight follows hers, landing right on the scene that was unfolding before them.
“Clive, I’m trying to do work!”
Hideaway’s poor advisor was currently trying to shake an overgrown Cid the Outlaw off of them, who has currently draped himself over you. It had been a single day since you had returned from your trip and needless to say, Clive was acting as though you had been gone for years. Arms wrapped around your waist, pulling your body flush against yours.
“Nothing is stopping you from doing your work,” is all Clive remarks with, burying his face in the crook of your neck.
“Except for a fucking overgrown dog!”
Gav whistles at the sight before him. “Someone seems to be in a good mood.”
“Indeed,” nods Jill, her gaze never leaving the both of you. Right now you were trying to walk away, which resulted in you basically having to drag the second Eikon of fire around because he refused to let himself off of you. “But, I can’t help but wonder if this is worse than the mood he was in before.”
The scout shrugs his shoulders. “Our advisor has dealt with worse from him. And we don’t have to deal with him slobberin’ all over us, so I’d say a good mood is better than nothin’.”
The woman says nothing. She knows it’s going to be a few days before Clive will return to his normal self, if your theory about why he’s been moody all week rings true. Such things don’t end with a simple, pleasurable night. You’ll be fine, she knows that, so she’s not too worried that you won’t be able to handle Clive Rosfield.
It’s in your job description, after all.
( she’ll still pray to metia for you, at the very least, and hope you come out unscathed. )
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sweetmage · 1 month
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The recent announcements regarding Larian no longer doing big updates and passing the rights to the characters back to WotC has basically all but killed my already waning interest in BG3 atm. I don't care about DLC or anything like that, I care that they did not fix their one and only black companion. I care that their past two games prior to this have had NO black companions and that the one that does have one he gets changed due to them taking feedback from racists then gets sidelined and abandoned. I care that I and many others have endured constant racism and anti-blackness in this fandom for month which was validated and emboldened by Larian's silence on the matter, mockery/sexualization of Wyll's story with Mizora (his white woman slaver and abuser), and their refusal to address or even acknowledge the very large and vocal feedback they've gotten. Sure, they could drop a huge patch unexpectedly despite everything they have recently said to the contrary (no more character stuff, no more story content, etc.) and I am more than willing to delete this post and eat my hat if so, but that is absolutely not the way it sounds at all in the recent statements. They have yet to even be bothered to address it, which would at least be something even if they don't fix it. I get wanting to move on, but the fact that after 6+ patches and 20+ hotfixes they never made time or effort for their one black companion before throwing in the towel is frankly disgusting. Time and time again, media creators show that black people and characters are not worth the same time and effort as other characters/fans and that hurts. This game, its characters, and the friends I made in this fandom are all very important and special to me and it's likely that after some time to process recover I will feel up to engaging with it again. Absolutely no shame and judgement to anyone still playing it, I genuinely hope you are having fun! I hope to again one day as well. I just personally have no desire to interact with it right now because, as a black person so used harsh fandom treatment and media that doesn't care about us, I let myself believe this time would be different and I was burned in the end like usual but even worse because they were taking active feedback and piling more new content on to their white characters.
It's been really hard for me to put this into words and I am very sad about it so this is probably the only thing I will say on the matter. Do not bother sending further feedback to Larian as it is useless now. But DO continue to make fan content to fill the gaps and continue to address anti-blackness in your fandom communities. Peace and love ✌🏾💖
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soap-ify · 4 months
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hi ruru! thank you for your kind words on my post today 🫶🏼 can i please get a little something about soap x reader who’s been working really hard lately (to the point where she can’t pull herself away from her laptop at the end of the day)? how would johnny boy help her relax/ take her mind off work?? could be fluffy or smutty 💛
CHERRY!! reader is just like me... i overworked myself so much yesterday and aa we should take more care of ourselves!
cw — fluff, praises !! he is so in love, fingering and lots of smooches.
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johnny had experienced it all before too numerous times, being overworked to the point where one just loses themselves in their work.
he tried to catch your attention throughout the day, either by poking your sides or just sitting beside you on the couch, earning nothing but dismissive huffs from you while your fingers furiously typed on the keyboard, glazed eyes frantically reading the stuff on your screen while your brain constantly thought about all the other work you still had to finish.
“ye need to leave tha’ shite alone for a minute, hen.” his voice was quiet, laced with concern while his hands acted more firmly, snatching your laptop from you and saving the file, ignoring all your protests. he didn’t care if you’d be mad at him, the only thing he cared about at this moment was you and your health.
after making you drink a glass of water, considering you didn’t drink one at all throughout the day, he gently led you to the bedroom and eased you on the bed, your muscles starting to ache as soon as you collapsed on the bed, head feeling dizzy and too active.
“johnny…” a weary groan left your lips, watching him get on top of you, his callused hands gently cupping your face, pressing sweet little kisses on your temple, easing the tension beneath your brows. you hadn’t even realised how tired you were, and all this attention from him was making your heart heavy with emotion.
“ssh, i know…” he nuzzled his nose against yours, your eyes getting all droopy while your hands lazily tugged on his sleeves.
“ye work so much. nae takin’ care of yerself at all. hurts my poor heart.” he mumbled in a playful manner despite his words being very much true, his stubble tickling your skin as he peppered kisses on your cheeks before finally meeting your lips, kissing you in such a sickeningly gently manner that it made your heart ache in a good way, eyes fluttering shut as you relished the way he comforted you, strong hands rubbing your hips soothingly while he lightly nipped on your bottom lip, his blue eyes half-open, filled with undying affection.
“lemme help ye.” he cooed softly, his hand sliding down in between your bodies, caressing your stomach before going down to gently tug down your trousers and panties. you shuddered at the sudden contact of his skin against your skin, goosebumps forming quickly while your hands gently held onto the back of his neck, wanting him as close as possible.
“gonna make ye stop thinkin’ so much.” his hand slowly caressed the plush of your thighs, coaxing your legs apart.
his fingers made contact with your puffy folds, gently gathering some slick before beginning to rub up and down your slit, loving the way you were starting to get wetter, slowly moving over to focus on your clit that was basically begging for attention, your body aching for a release. his fingers begin drawing soft circles over your clit, causing a broken whimper to leave your lips, your hips bucking forward to somehow get a bit more pressure.
“so perfect and so smart… always doin’ great in everything ye do.” his face was so close to yours, lips repeatedly pressing soft kisses on your temple, whispering soft praises into your ears. “m’so proud of ye, y’know.”
his words made your insides warm up with love, blood rushing to your cheeks as you leaned your head forward slightly to nuzzle it against his neck, breathless noises leaving you while his fingers continued to give your clit the attention it deserved, rubbing and tugging it gently.. “i love you so much johnny, love you so much…” you repeated over and over as if it was forever ingrained in your brain, which it probably was.
johnny didn’t pull any of his playful stunts this time, his actions full of tenderness and care he craved to give you, his other hand gently holding onto the side of your hip. “ah, i love ye too.” he chuckled under her breath, his blue eyes softening up even more.
heat pooled between your legs while his wet fingers continued to glide on your slit occasionally before focusing back on your twitchy and hard clit, loving the way it slid so easily across your cunt.
“ye close, hen?” he asked once he felt the tremble of your thighs, your breathing quickening up while your lips were parted in awe, head nodding.
“s-so close… need to cum so bad, johnny.” you voice was quivering and laced with need, your chest rising and falling gently.
he gently eased a finger in your tight cunt, and then another, given how you were already soaking wet, curling them up inside you while looking for any signs of discomfort on your face. when he found none, he gently began to thrust his fingers inside your weeping cunt, finding all your spongy sweet spots with ease. it was insane how his fingers were enough to quickly push you over the edge.
your eyes rolled back once his thumb begin rubbing your puffy clit once more, your walls tightening around his fingers while your legs tried to wrap themselves around his hips, the pleasure getting sweetly overwhelming with each thrust of his fingers until you finally came apart, your orgasm hitting you in waves that lasted for a good few seconds, your body trembling underneath him as you moaned shakily and hid your face against his shoulders, fingers clinging onto the fabric of his shirt tight while he helped you ride your orgasm, fingers gently sliding out of your fluttering cunt, giving your clit a few more rubs before he stopped and pulled his hand back, looking at the way your slick coated his fingers, his mouth cheekily wrapping around his fingers to taste you. a satisfied hum left him before he began pressing repeated little pecks on your lips, causing you to whine and squirm.
“did so good f’me, hen. feelin’ better?” he asked softly, earning a nod from you, a blissful smile adorning your lips while your brain felt all fuzzy and dreamy.
he definitely didn’t stop at that, fully intent on making you forget about all your work. his fingers were quick to stuff inside you again, determined to pull a few more orgasms out of you.
the night ended up with you fast asleep in his embrace, head craddled against his chest, his heartbeat soothing your nerves.
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l6ndrys · 1 year
Note
heyyy, i was hoping you could do an ethan imagine where he dates the hottest girl on the uni, and he discovers that she's really insecure about her boobs being too big, like sidney sweeney (im so insecure abt mine lol) and she gets so embarrassed when someone sexualizes her, specially jock guys etc, so ethan ends up punching one of them 😭😭 thank you <3
a/n : hi!! thank you for requesting!! hope you enjoy <33
this fic contains : cursing
don't blame me
ethan landry x fem!reader
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to say you were surprised when you got the text would be a lie. you knew about people's comments when you'd pass by and think you couldn't hear them. ethan knew too. you had to hold him back once when someone said something about you and your.. appearance. however, this time you weren't there to hold him back.
you walked into the main office, looking around for your boyfriend. spotting him on a bench outside one of the administrators' office, you walk over to him, "you're a dumbass, you know that? you could've gotten seriously hurt! that guy is twice your size!!" which was saying a lot, considering your boyfriend was definitely not on the scrawny side.
"he said some stupid shit about you and i couldn't just sit there and listen!" you rolled your eyes, gesturing to the bag of ice on his hand, "so you punched him? ethan, you can't just go and knock the shit out of people when they say stuff like that." it was his turn to roll his eyes.
you sigh, taking a seat next to him, "thank you, eth. even if you got in trouble and i'm definitely not happy with you right now, it means a lot." he knew that you had a hard time with your self image, especially because of what people said about you.
you eventually decided to head back to his dorm, greeting chad when you both walked in. "whoa what happened?" chad asked, motioning to the now almost-melted bag of ice on ethan's hand. "he punched the shit out of a guy who said some shit about me." you said, passing him to go towards the kitchen for fresh ice.
"damn, never thought you'd have that kind of anger in you landry. anyways i'm headin' to bed, don't do anything i wouldn't do" he said, leaving the kitchen/living room to the both of you. rolling your eyes at his comment, you took the bag from ethan, pouring out the rest of the melting ice. you walk over to the fridge, picking up a couple pieces of ice and putting them in the bag.
you turn, zipping it up and handing it to ethan. "you know i could've done that myself" he says, jokingly, "look, it's the only way of paying you back for basically protecting me. plus i'm your girlfriend, i'm kind of obligated to take care of you" you say, walking over to where he was leaning against the kitchen counter.
"you could always pay me back another way" he said, smiling. "oh is that so?" you say, returning the smile. he pulled you closer, leaning in. you lean in, connecting your lips. you pull away, "it's getting late, i should go"
"orrr you could spend the night?" you thought it over, considering your options. either you spend the night, and probably get the best nights sleep in your boyfriends' arms, or go home alone and in the dark. you didn't have class or any plans for tomorrow, "yeah i guess i could" he smiles at this, grabbing your hand with his non-bruised one, and pulling you towards his room.
you stop, making him stop and turn around to ask what was wrong, "thank you again for earlier. you didn't have to defend me like that" he huffs, "well then people shouldn't say shit about your boobs, then i wouldn't have to beat the shit out of them." you laugh, letting him pull you in for another kiss. you were glad you had someone who protected you like he did.
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agirlwithglam · 12 days
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Hi!! I hope I'm not disturbing you but I wanted to ask how do I work hard. Because when I was younger I got really good marks without trying and now the subjects are hard and social media is distracting but I can't seem to delete it. This is also why my grades are even low then before and I'm really afraid to disappoint my parents (being the eldest daughter doesn't help). So can you please just give me some pointers on how can I actually study and not just cry because I don't know how to. Have a great day!! <3
literally omg. is this past me asking me a question?? like actually u have no idea how much i relate and understand this. the "gifted child" who always got good grades without needing to study now finds things more difficult. i know many people have said this, but i actually have been through this not too long ago. i hope these tips help <3
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how to work hard + actually study (realistic)
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forget hard work. at least do the work! (its so funny because i literally had a post about this all ready in my drafts about to get posted, so i'll keep this short and link the post.) stop focussing on doing hard work like studying 24/7. just put in the basic necessities you need to get a better grade. hard work post link
use the disappointment and embarrassment as fuel. (basically find a very strong why) (mini story-ish thing coming up, skip to the blue text for the actual advice) i still remember the day i got such a bad score on my math and science test, i was FURIOUS at myself and i cried about it! telling it to my parents was one of the hardest things i had to do and feeling their disappointment was even worse. but that became my turning point. i was so ashamed of myself and i resented me so much that i basically just told myself "i dont freaking care what you feel *with distaste*. you brought this on yourself you failure" (a bit very harsh, yes i know) but the way i studied that week- i studied more than i every had before! also doing this doesnt really lower my self esteem a whole lot, but if it does with you, please be gentle with yourself. : so what i'm trying to say it; use that feeling of shame and disapointment as a fuel, a motivation. The big “why”.
ALTER EGOOOSSSS. this helps SOOOO MUCH its so underrated. embody the energy of your fav people who are the academic inspiration you wanna be! example: rory gilmore, paris geller, elle woods, blair waldorf, etc etc! not only is this so helpful but it also makes it so much more fun and easier!!
parent yourself. i used to tell myself to do stuff like "go study now!" or "get up lazy-butt" but in my mind. but what if you tried to say those stuff out loud to yourself? it just creates a whole new level of real. So start telling yourself to do stuff out loud.
honestly just start. stop letting yourself think about how "uncomfortable" and how "annoying" it will be. All you need to know is that you need to get it done. Right? Ok. So now what’s the next smallest step you can take to getting to do the unwanted task? It may be taking out your material, opening your book, etc.
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( !! tough love, but very important rant coming up)
You privileged brat. Your parents gave up EVERYTHING so you could have the education that you are having. They worked so so hard for YOU. So YOU can have the life you want. And all for what? Just for you to throw it all away and say “oh im lazy”. HELL NAH.
And also, do you realise how fortunate you are to be even living in such a time/ era where you have access to basically EVERYTHING? You’re stuck on something? You could easily search it up!! And whats more is that you can further learn. You can search up and find out more about the thing that you’re studying, become the smartest person in your class, get so ahead in life. I hope you realise that if you do use all the resources and materials and help that’s been given to you, just imagine how far you could go! Further than Albert Einstine, Elon Musk, etc. you may be like “what! No that’s gonna be too hard!” But did they have the tools that you have right at your hand? No! They made it all the way with just simple stuff and having to work super hard. But you live in a time where you can do TWICE as much without working as hard!!
And one more thing, QUIT WHINING. “Oh school is so hard!” “Oh school is so boring!” Like whattt???? You are so FORTUNATE and LUCKY to be even getting access to such education! MILLIONS of kids out there would kill to be able to learn what you are so easily dismissing right now. So TAKE ADVANTAGE OF WHAT YOU HAVE. Put your ALL, your very BEST into studying and getting good grades because THAT is whats gonna take you so SO far in life.
Thank you very much, *mic drop*. (i still ly pookie)
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dealing with social media:
put the screen time widget on your phone home screen. i did this, and i became so embarrassed by the amount of screen time i had in one day (*cough* 12 hours *cough*) that i made certain to stop using it as much.
screen time limits. this may or may not help you, bc i know that when i knew the screen time password, it didn't do a lot of help but when someone else did (like parents or someone you trust), then it definitely worked. this is probably only best if you're a child around under 14 ish bc thats around the age when most parents put screen time limits + after that age you're gonna be a lot more independent.
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more *extremely* helpful resourses:
tips to decrease your phone screen time by @imbusystudying
how to reduce your screen time in the digital age? (an article)
studying tips from a straight-A student by @universalitgirlsblog2
how to study like paris geller by @4theitgirls
more blogs i recomend:
@elonomhblog @mindfulstudyquest @study-diaries @thatbitchery
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xoxo, vanilla
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tabithatwo · 1 year
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it's yellowjackets / jennifer's body parallels time!
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hi hello keep reading if you would like to hear about shauna/jennifer and jackie/needy, here's my totally noncomprehensive, very much off the cuff thoughts on this very complex and interesting dynamic!!
(i'm not getting into the basic parallels, i'm gonna assume you know the karyn kusama of it all, the heart necklace, the homoerotic female friendship, the death)
yellowjackets is so brilliant because it feeds you stereotypes and absolutely does not deliver on them. there could be an entire paper on each girl and how this is true for them specifically, but walk quickly with me because i want to get into the nitty gritty gory fun stuff! a brief oversimplified example: nat is referred to as a burnout, some would assume she's a loner based on that, but she cares about the team as a unit more than arguably anyone else. (this is common in real life too, our stereotypes often don't hold water in reality and yj reflects that beautifully!)
now to the jackie/shauna of it all. it would be oh so incredibly easy to look at jackie and think she's the jennifer of the duo. we are set up to see her as prettier, more popular, more demanding. but that illusion falls apart QUICKLY if you pay attention to the things that jackie actually says and does. she's not a mean girl. she's actually one of the kindest on the team. she doesn't pick on shauna, she clings. there are plenty of takes on this on tumblr so i won't exhaust it, my adhd loves to digress and meander but i'm forcing myself back onto the trodden path to this point: people look at the first few minutes of the pilot and they immediately decide that they know who these girls are. the audience typecasts jackie as a jennifer and shauna as a needy. the popular, bubbly girl and her shy, bookworm best friend.
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a lot of people, especially casual viewers who don't study this show like its their job (god, wonder what that would be like lol) understandably stop here. but to me the BRILLIANCE of yj is that they don't actually make it HARD for you to undo your initial impressions. the material is there. it isn't hidden. it isn't some deeper self of each character that is unraveled throughout seasons. they push, push, push to see just how far they can carry our deeply held stereotypes/expectations. how forward and violent can shauna be, with viewers still clinging to a shy and sweet girl, who was really their own creation? how kind and honestly pathetic kicked-puppy can jackie be, with viewers still clinging to a mean girl, who was really their own creation? how far will we go to warp the characters intentions, so that we can keep them in the box we understand them in? they ask this of the viewer and of other characters, but AGAIN i digress.
so, while this might sit strangely with some, yes i think that jackie is very much aligned with needy if you peel back just one layer. but far above and beyond that, shauna is so very fucking jennifer.
the overall veneer is thinned immediately in yj. there isn't one girl in the stands and one on center stage. jackie and shauna are both on the team. they go to the same parties, they play the same sport, i would argue that shauna isn't even coded as "less pretty" (please note the word coded, because i'm not saying needy is literally less pretty than jennifer, i am simply saying that we have hair, makeup, clothing, glasses trends that we use to stereotype characters, are you with me?)
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so now what? now these girls are both and neither. shauna thinks that she is the needy to jackie's jennifer. jackie wears the necklace and the introductory shots frame her as important. but we're already diverting from that set-up.
our absolute clearest common denominator here is one that i rarely see people mention funnily enough: JENNIFER IS A SUCCUBUS. she CONSUMES. she KILLS. she WANTS and she TAKES.
now before you get TOO EXCITED!!! i see some of you getting ready to say i'm a shauna shipman hater, put the pitchforks down!! shauna is one of my favorite characters of all time. i love her crazy ass so deeply that it's alarming. (i don't hate jennifer, either, for the record.) i love her largely for WHAT she is. i think sanitizing or sweetening her is a disservice. she's amazing and complex and wounded and capable of deep love. but she also, quite LITERALLY, consumes.
her character is sex and desire and violence and obsession and consumption. and it's AMAZING. she's POWERFUL. she's our main framing character (in this dynamic), rather than needy. the scripts are switched. jennifer dies and needy lives, and that's one story. that's clearer cut, simpler, made for a horror film. but here, jackie dies and shauna lives, and that story is deep and rich and goes on to include a whole lot more death and destruction and chaos.
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shauna tells us herself that it excites her. she likes it. she is this girl. this woman. she reminisces and she recreates and she covets.
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jennifer tries to consume needy, shauna literally consumes jackie.
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there's more to this story, obviously. you could deep dive and mine for the intricacies of the set up and fall of stereotype and expectation, or collect all of the exact parallels. but i'll stick with a few, because this is a quick outburst of thought.
a huge one, who is taking whose boyfriend?
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here's another personal favorite of mine, just for kicks
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is it too complex to neatly tuck away? absolutely. they're different stories with different themes. shauna isn't simply a teenager possessed by a demon. it runs far deeper. as is the essence of this show.
but if you want to look at parallels, look at the one who has been holding the knife the whole time.
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nanawritesit · 2 months
Text
Trent Lane Boyfriend Headcanons! (SFW + NSFW under the cut)
(i just finished daria and have major Trent brain rot… but there’s like no content for him so i guess i have to write it myself :p)
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SFW:
He writes songs about you all the time (they don’t always make sense but you still appreciate them)
Probably shows his love through physical touch or acts of service because he’s too broke to buy you gifts or take you anywhere nice 💀
He always has an arm around your shoulder, a hand on your waist, or is at least linking pinkies with you. If you’re next to him, he’s touching you in some way
And if you ever need help with chores or a project, he offers to do it for you or help you finish it (which is saying a lot because he’s usually lazy af)
Always gives you his jacket when it’s cold without you even having to ask him :)
Loves to lay his head on your chest and fall asleep after late night gigs… you struggle to roll him off of you in the morning because he sleeps like a log 😭
Calls you his “muse” occasionally
But he mostly calls you a cuter version of your name (like how he calls Jane “Janey,”) or just a simple “Babe” or “Hon”
Most of your dates are at the bars Mystik Spiral is playing at
You’ll hang out there for a while and get pizza afterwards, then probably smoke 🍃 in the tank
He asks your opinion on song lyrics, and you’ll help him brainstorm rhymes
The man is nocturnal so you have a ton of late night phone calls
You’re basically his sugar mama because again, he’s broke and unemployed
You have to reassure him that it doesn’t bother you all the time, in fact he’s *almost* considered getting a job just for you because he loves you that much 💞
(you can call him a deadbeat all you want. i would have no problem supporting my sweet baby girl 😤)
He also gets insecure sometimes that you’ll leave him for someone more educated or successful… you’ll have to explain to him that you don’t care about that stuff and that you love him regardless of it
His idea of a perfect day is just laying in bed with you all day long… he’s big on cuddles, either laying his head on your chest or nuzzling up into your neck :)
Although he also enjoys spooning you, or having you lay on his chest while he runs his fingers through your hair (He’s the best cuddler ever, try to change my mind)
Also loves going to the music store with you, and any other shops you enjoy going to
If you like piercings, you’ll go on piercing dates together :)
If you’re nervous, he’ll hold your hand and talk you through it 💞
Keeping him company while he gets his tattoos
He likes to see what you buy for yourself so he can save up his money to buy you something nice for your birthday or anniversary 🥺
LOVES when you sleep in his t shirts ❤️ He thinks you look so hot
He doesn’t strike me as someone who has a specific type, he just likes whoever he gives with. You could be alternative like him or have the total opposite aesthetic, he just likes you for who you are 🥰
Desperately trying to get him to take care of himself by getting a better sleep schedule and maybe eating a piece of fruit every now and again 💀
Watching Sick Sad World with Jane and Daria
The two of them look up to you because you’re one of the few people they think are cool, they mostly ask you for advice on relationships, school, and resolving their disputes
Jane asking you to help her dye her hair after Daria ruined it 😀
You always encourage her and compliment her paintings, she sees you as a really cool older sister (except not actually because all of her relatives besides Trent are insane)
You try to help them out around the house with cooking and cleaning and buying groceries since their parents are never home
The other guys in the band tease him so hard because he talks about you constantly and always gets so happy when you call :)
Jesse was actually the one who set you guys up, and it makes him so happy to see you together
He keeps a picture of you on the dashboard of the tank just to make him smile whenever he sees it 💞
NSFW: (18+/ MDNI)
Lazy morning sex (even though it’s at like 4 pm) because it’s the best way to wake him up ;)
Having sex in the tank right before a show because he’s convinced he plays better after he fucks you
He’s a switch for sure, mostly because he doesn’t always have the energy to be on top
Really likes long make out sessions where you’re straddling his lap and he can run his hands all along your body
Looooves watching you ride him
But he also enjoys pinning you down and dominating you 👀
The cold metal of his rings against your skin drives you wild, especially when he’s fingering you
Will give you hickeys in the most obvious places because he thinks they look hot
Conversely, he loves it when you leave scratches down his back like you’re marking him as your territory
Listen, this man knows how to EAT 😤 (you’re probably the most nutritious thing he eats tbh)
He loves overstimulating you by making you cum on his tongue and then fucking you immediately after
But he also loves it when you return the favor… he can’t think of any better sight than you on your knees going down on him 😭
He knows that his voice turns you on and uses it against you to turn you on in public (which leads to the two of you running out to the tank for a quickie)
He’s really good at talking you through it 😫
Not super loud during sex, but he does grunt and swear a lot
And when he gets close to finishing he starts letting out some airy moans, mostly saying your name over and over
He’s not *super* freaky but he certainly knows how to show you a good time ;)
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WIBTA if I confronted my boyfriend about not feeling praised enough? Over dumb D&D shit?
Background - I (20s F) live with my boyfriend (30s M) and things are usually great. He's always been supportive, emotionally intelligent and caring and we've had no major problems. We met via D&D several years ago so it's pretty important to both of us, and I'm a DM. Before we met, he was involved in a years-long campaign with some friends and is generally more experienced in D&D than me (I've been DMing around 5 years, he's probably closer to 10).
The current campaign that I'm running is something I'm really proud of. It's a mid-length campaign and I made the story myself (I typically plan mine to be 6-8ish months to avoid things fizzling out) and I've tried really hard to step up my writing and story planning for this one.
I've put in a LOT of extra time and effort and have been holding myself to a much higher standard than I usually do. As a DM I get self-conscious over how much time people are spending with me each week, and I want to make sure it's REALLY worthwhile. And because my boyfriend is more experienced in D&D than me, I've been looking to him for feedback and/or praise, as it would mean a lot to me coming from him.
And I've been getting close to nothing. At the end of each session he immediately falls asleep and doesn't talk about it at all. It makes me feel like I'm keeping him up/boring him. So I started asking him things like "hey what did you think about how I handled X" and he'll give a brief response like "yeah it was great" without explaining anything.
He didn't even give much thought into the character he's playing either - for his old campaign he created a HUGE story for his character, background, goals, etc. I know for a fact he's an incredible creative writer and could have come up with something wonderful for this. But he didn't put down anything other than basic character sheet stuff. When I asked him about it, he says he only goes deep into character when it's "long campaigns like my old one" and "too bad a long campaign like that will never happen again. That's D&D at it's best but now we're all adults, and we're too busy to ever do that, half my friends have kids, it'll never happen again and it's so sad" etc etc.
It made me feel like shit - like anything I try to do is a waste of time and pointless compared to this legendary "old campaign". Like it's barely worth staying awake for, like it's some kind of chore he has to sit through every week just because I'm his girlfriend and he's just humoring me.
The other players have been EXTREMELY enthusiastic and supportive - they send me art they make based on the campaign after every session and have contacted me privately to compliment me on certain aspects of the campaign. I want to make it clear that this is NOT something I EXPECT, but moreso I just really really love and appreciate that they do this for me, especially while my boyfriend is kind of leaving a void where I'd want this kind of praise.
Full transparency, one of my worst fears is forcing people to play along with something that I am passionate about, but bores them to tears. I never want to make a big deal over something that means a lot to ME but doesn't mean that much to someone else. So maybe I should just let this go because, at the end of the day, it's just a game? And taking it so seriously makes me an asshole and I should touch grass? I feel like potentially starting a fight over stupid nerd stuff would be pointless on my end. But at the same time, the more we play the more I feel deflated and I really hate feeling that way. I'm not sure what to do tbh.
What are these acronyms?
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