#and theres no way that my NON BINARY sibling with also zero passion for stem `s going to get a lick of KINDNESS before i disown this family

[coldlobbiesofmarble]

also while i am play-ing meltdown mashups aka posts where i show what rue is listening to (aka the shit that rue dances / stims / disassociates to), here’s a cool person’s music  , in longform, represented [ it’s not my music btw ] by a fireworks show video they stole off wolfman museum of art making said music mix  thus forever associated w/ my dream place to try to live w con mi cool/ gay/unhinged frixnds and gays and mutuals..or at least chill out and eat out and smonk and go to the park and attend concerts and club with

[ link to the mix : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoH5QBGsOE0&t=1s ]

#i had to separate this because i dont talk when i post my mashups but i feel like i owe you all this. also this is my blog and i wanna talk #the fact that a couple weeks ago i had my sibling ( still really oung) come otu to me - they were also gay but now #they are openly not - cisgender. and that is so so so overwhelming but i have hope. they have a squad of lgbts #meltdown mashup #✨💖some cities you really full a pull to. or even a town... a regioneven if it's out of your tax bracket. #enqueued [ sorta hiatus ] #one day.. you know...? like i deserve it #i do feel regret about not having my dream art/animation career in asia and then ive realized that after migrating i missed out on an NYC bA #i basically have spent my life just babysitting people that were older than me or galling them into doing the minimum. its such a bitch #tw parents / abuse in tags ``` #yeah obviously it's hard to be an immigrant but the moment you want your family to be your clones and fulfill your identity. ur fucked UP. #you should have dealt with that shit before you had KIDS who you put first . they starve without you. they`re innocent. ur no saint😒 #and theres no way that my NON BINARY sibling with also zero passion for stem `s going to get a lick of KINDNESS before i disown this family #STEM* sorryouaksjkjk #but while my disabled ass remaisn unmedicated ... yeah im going to have to deal with you and take care of my fellow non binary sibling #cw misgendering / transphobia #who is fucking tiny and fucking terrified. whose not about to settle for being misgendered. #honestly like this is the tip of the iceberg. i wont go into other stuff that im still healing from . idk hoow ive trivvialized it all 4 so #so long like. it's not trivial. but i tell myself ` it's fine ur being dramatic `