#idk i might be able to get by having my regular hair. that would be very much preferable | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

simplydnp · 20 days

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idk why this matters to me but in the last few months they've been acknowledging so many things I never ever thought they would. pinof and the touching. the phude multiple times. dapc slime (ok they had merch to sell for that one but still)

no but actually. phil literally said 'i thought we weren't acknowledging it' about the phude and now they just bring it up all the time.

pinof reacts... i still can't believe we're in a post pinof-reacts universe. how did that happen. i was changed permanently--like something shuffled in my dna when i got the notif for pinof reacts 1. this is not a physical reaction but a chemical one that cannot be undone. for something that was so... sacred. and integral. to their existence and history. pinof wasn't generally talked about unless it was pinof time. and even then it was 'it'll be up soon' or 'we just posted it' and then Never talked about outside of that. especially not the first one! we freak out about the We Know You Know in the newsletter but it's Always been like that with pinof 1. so to see them--new (& natural 🥺) hair for them both, in a house they bought and built together, in the first few months of giving the gaming channel a second chance--reflect on how it all began? absolutely devastating. and to lean into moments and discuss them in new ways. in territory previously not breached! the 'they're toUching'?!?!? the '11 hour fuck session'!?!? the '£9000 champagne'?!?!? like hey we're not supposed to talk about that, dan and phil might see!! shhh!! but they're the ones saying it!! absolutely wild.

in a way, it had to happen. especially with where we're at now (them literally selling merch of them holding hands). in order for them to move beyond that... mindset? i guess? that a lot of fans had, they had to defang it. i really see it as one of the biggest walls they've broken down in the way they communicate with us. the 'hey. it's okay. we've seen it. it's not a big deal. we will absolutely make fun of you for it though. but we're good.'

i'm just really curious whose idea it was. (lbr it was probably phil given dans not a react kinda guy. but i'd be lying if i said i didn't want to be in the room where it happened when they talked about actually doing it or not, and what it would mean) (big ad revenue thats for sure 🤣 get it kings)

i will never be able to get phil's 'they touched' out of my head and at this point i wouldn't want to. it's absolutely earned. and i guess it makes me a masochist to enjoy the psychic damage it inflicts on me, but such is life i suppose.

the crafts mention really surprised me! i had contemplated a few different scenarios in how they'd go about it, and i'll be honest i feel like they could've committed to the bit a little more but they're forgiven. like what about glitchy interstitials! cuts to the merch website. found footage inserted between sections! i recognize they don't want to 'scare' their usual audience wirh sudden cuts to intense/graphic content but my immersionnn. absolutely shattered by 'oh we have new merch now btw'. cmon boys you love to lie to us. say theres merch up but you dont know where it came from. just that we should buy it 👀 or idk, something clever. and i recognize i may sound like a spoilt brat bc i just got a 14 minute long masterpiece of an unexpected dapc revival, but my immersion. i mean i already bought the merch before they shilled it anyways so it didn't influence me regardless 🤣

ultimately we really are in a new era. even beyond just the revival. i think they're really finding their stride--not only in their content (evidenced by a semi-regular schedule) but also creatively, in doing what they want to do, how they want to do it, and truly not giving that much of a fuck anymore. and i'm really happy for them. phil talked a bit about this in his 'rating my icons' video, where he's kind of decided he doesn't care what people on twitter think, and how it's been good for him, and i think we're seeing that reflected in not only his content, but also the gaming channel. they play what they want. they say what they want. and it's just fun. dan going on the record to say he's really enjoying it makes me so happy to hear, because literally december 2022 he believed he'd disappear after WAD. and now, instead, he gets to play games and make stupid jokes and smile and laugh multiple times a week, and he's really happy about it. he gets to be silly and goofy and crude without having to Stress about it. i keep saying it but they're so settled now. and as someone who's followed them through big changes and turbulent times, getting to see them happy after everything... it brings a lot of hope. and i know theyre millionaires. but there's something to looking at someone you fell in love with 15 years ago the same then as you do now. but instead of it being something scary, something you have to hide, something that feels like it can consume you and everything you have--it gets to be something beautiful. and regular. and embraced. you've read this far you get to listen to me wax poetic about them.

we've been thoroughly boiled and maybe, just maybe, it's warming our hearts too.

#thank u for sending this. ive been writing non-stop since it arrived in my inbox #there is nothing i love more than someone pointing me in a direction and saying alright go for it!#i am always only a few moments away from a dnp breakdown and im glad to share this journey with you all #dnp #dan and phil #c.text #answered #phan #<- for the fandometrics #edited tags: holyshit this is a 1k words w/ my tags. jfc. what is Wrong with me. it took less than an hour but idk when u sent it exactly

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possibilistfanfiction · 1 year

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Hey there! Just wanted to let you know that I love your writing. I love the universe you've created for ava and beatrice. I could have said Avatrice but the thing is you write them so beautifully as individuals, all their triumphs and losses, that it doesn't feel right not to acknowledge them as they are on their own as much as they are as a couple. Anyway! I pretty much have bookmarked all your work and I keep suggesting your fics on Twitter, I'm pretty much your unofficial publicist at this point, proudly so 😆

I just finished the multitude of loving and once again you made me laugh and smile and cry and you made my heart warm and for a while, my depression didn't feel as debilitating. So thank you. I don't know what you're gonna write next whenever inspiration strikes, but if you ever do another outside pov, would you mind writing one from Diego's? I guess I'm biased because aside from your fics, I've been obsessed with do a flip by sunsafe and it warms my heart to see Diego in fics because well, I think it's safe to say that he was the one who loved ava first, he was there by her bedside and all and so it would be lovely, to know how he feels and thinks about ava and beatrice, after all the years of living his own life, after all the years wishing to see his sister, his best friend, his... Ava, because there's no traditional title that really fits them, after all the years wishing that ava is okay and... Alive, more than just surviving because even when he was a child he knew, ava was meant for such a bright and grand life, just because she was all that herself.

Anyway, just an idea, of course. My rambling is not in any way meant to pressure you into writing it 😆😅 I hope you're having a good day wherever you are. Cheers!

[first of all i love do a flip!!!! 100/10 recommend if anyone hasn't read it!!

anyway, here's a little diego pov in the butch bea universe. he's like 18 or 19? idk. yknow just roll w it :) ]

university is busy as hell, and it's cool that they pay for your doctor's appointments and, when you actually started getting the care you needed, you were able to do basically everything in the normal, big wide world with regular meds and check-ins — but mostly you just want to play rugby and flirt with girls (not well, but you're 18 and always kind, so who cares your success rate) and pass all of your classes. when you got adopted it had seemed like a miracle, and so you don't take any of this time for granted — not the bright sun or the grass stains on your knees or how rachel plays with your hair when you hang out in her dorm.

you don't think much of it when you get a random email from beatrice gu-knight, partially because emails are a pain in the ass and partially because nico brought over a six pack of stellas and his nintendo switch — you're the mario kart champion, undisputed — but, in the morning, when you open your phone, you think your heart might stop in your chest.

Hello Diego,

I hope you're well. I know it might seem strange to get an email like this from someone you don't know and have never even heard of, and, if you don't wish to follow up or connect, please just let me know, and that will be the end of it.

But, in the hopeful chance that you do: my name is Beatrice (she/her), and I'm reaching out to you because Ava Silva is my life partner. We've been together for a few years now and she talks of you often, and fondly; I know from her stories you were an extraordinarily joyful and sustaining part of her life at St. Michael's, and, if nothing else, I hope you understand my deep gratitude for that. I work in tech, so I was able to find this email address for you in the hopes that you might want to reconnect with Ava. We live in Los Angeles, and she's, as I'm sure you remember, wonderful. Maybe even more wonderful now, as I hope you are too.

Again, if you are at all uncomfortable, please feel no pressure to engage in any way; I won't let Ava know, so don't worry about that. If you would like to reconnect, though, you can respond to this email, or call or text me at my cell listed below. Thank you.

Warmest regards,

Beatrice

it takes you a few seconds to get it together, because, what the fuck, first of all. second of all, ava — one of your favorite people ever, and someone you miss every day. who apparently has a very proper and seemingly kind partner named beatrice, and lives in california. ava is alive, and probably really happy. the last time you saw her she was scared and upset and you had thought she died before that. you had thought you would never see her again.

Hey, this is Diego, you text the number on Beatrice's email. you think about the time difference, and, sorry if it's the middle of the night for you

it takes a minute or two, but then your phone vibrates. Diego, wonderful to hear from you! I'm glad my email wasn't too intense.

and, like, maybe it was a little, but your calc III professor is a fucking nutcase, so you kind of have a high bar.

Ava works late sometimes, so don't worry about the time difference right now

it's sweet, you think, that beatrice doesn't work late, or, whatever, maybe she does, but she's up because ava is awake. because ava will be coming home, or finishing up in an office. you wonder about their life, what their home looks like and if ava's laugh is still just as awesome. and, like, what is ava's job? is she still paralyzed, or can she walk like she had the last time you saw her? you're glad for her, honestly, that her partner is a girl, because ava thought boys were hot but also seemed to like girls more — so, like, how did they fall in love? it's funny to imagine ava as a grownup, with a partner and a home and a whole life, but it's also the best.

do you want to facetime tomorrow or something, you text, because you don't really know what else to say, but you want to find out: about your sister, and the life she's apparently built. you think — if ava is anything like how she had been when you were younger — you definitely want to be in it.

I would love that, beatrice responds immediately. you work out the details and, eventually, you go to class and try to have a normal day. but ava is out there, happy, in california, with a partner who clearly cares about her. it feels like a gift, even to know. it feels like a gift, to get to be in her warmth again.

beatrice, when you answer the facetime call at exactly the second the clock hits 7 pm your time, is beautiful. it doesn't surprise you, not really, because you remember ava being pretty, and, even more than that, fucking awesome. beatrice is younger than what you think someone with that formal a name would be, with short dark hair that flops into her eyes, which are kind of gold in the light through the window of whatever room she's in. 'hello, diego,' she says, and, yeah, ava probably loves that accent.

it makes you laugh, but, like, in a nice way, to know that ava has a whole partner. a whole entire person who shares a life with her, who helps her with stuff and — beatrice is a saint for this — laughs at her puns.

'hey,' you say, feel awkward and a little sloppy in the face of the chic big oil painting behind her, the hoodie you know is expensive because your friend artur had had it marked on his stockx for, like, months now. 'uh, i'm diego. nice to meet you.'

beatrice smiles, and you see her freckles, and you realize, in a flash, a truth you know implicitly — that ava loves this person. ava picked this person to spend her life with. the world is cruel, you know better than most, but the world is also so, so kind.

'i'm so happy you responded to my email,' she says, less formal and with a slight laugh, mostly with joy. 'ava is the best, and i know that — she misses you. she loves you, a lot. i've always wanted to meet you.' you kind of don't know what to say, and you're relieved when she shakes her head. 'sorry, i'm being a lot again. believe it or not, this is my first rodeo with something like this.'

first rodeo sounds foreign from her, and it inexplicably makes you laugh. 'you're doing fine.' you realize that beatrice is just as nervous as you are, maybe even more: she loves ava. she has a whole life with ava. 'i — does ava want to talk to me?'

'i haven't told her yet. i wanted to see how you felt first, without any pressure, and i didn't want her to feel disappointed. but i know she will be... overjoyed, to have you in her life again, if you want.'

'yeah.' you think of ava's jokes and how full of life she was, even when she didn't have access to much of it herself. you think about the clumsy drawings you had made her, and how happy she was every time she got to go outside in her wheelchair. 'i do, want that. a lot.'

beatrice's smile is relieved and grateful. 'i can talk to her, then, and then maybe you two can set up a video chat? i know she'll be beside herself with excitement.'

'yeah,' you say, and you can't help but smile looking forward to it. it doesn't sound like ava's changed much, in the good ways, which is super cool. 'i'm excited too.'

your palms are clammy and you feel like you might throw up, but beatrice had sent you a link to a zoom and asked if the evening worked for you; you're so thrilled but also, like, what if ava doesn't like you anymore? what if she's way way cooler than you, or too grown up, or just bored by your life? it had been one thing, to lose her when you were young and confused, to have to grieve her absence so obliquely — but it would be an entirely different thing now, to know she's alive and has a life of her own and just doesn't want you in it. you don't really know how you would handle that. ava was your friend and ava was your sister, in the ways that really matter.

but, you realize very quickly, all of your anxiety was for nothing, because ava's face pops on screen — older, and her hair is shorter, and there are slight laugh lines settling into the skin around her eyes, but she mostly looks the same — and her smile is so warm and then she starts to cry and laugh and, yeah. if you do too, it's fine. no one else is in your dorm room anyway.

'hey,' she says, the first to get any words out. she's sitting up, and she waves, and you feel like you're seeing a real life miracle, right there on your computer screen. 'you look so old. i really missed you.'

'you look so old too.' she grins. 'i really missed you.'

it's a little stilted at first, probably because you're both overwhelmed, but then it's just... the fucking best. ava is a bartender, 'mostly for fun,' she says, which, whatever that means, and she still loves the beach. they apparently have a house right by the water. she starts crying again when you tell her you got adopted, that you're not so sick anymore because you have good doctors and caring parents, that you're in school to become an accountant.

'the family business?' she says, choked up, after you tell her that your adoptive mom is one too, and that she wanted you to be able to take over one day if you were interested.

it's as unbelievable to you some days as it seems to her, on bright mornings or when you get to go skiing in the cold snow, when your friends pass around a joint or when you get to go to a museum, whenever you want. 'yeah,' you say — a family; you learn ava has one too. 'it's pretty incredible.'

'holy shit, ava.'

she just laughs, letting you go in front of her into her house. well, her and beatrice's house, you guess. you'd facetimed and texted a bunch with ava in the past two months, so you had figured out they were kinda loaded, and they'd both picked you up from the airport in a very sleek, fancy volvo, but, like —

'this is nuts.'

you think you might immediately cry again when you notice, right away, how there's not a single part of the house you can see that isn't accessible for someone in a wheelchair. ava had told you that she can walk but some days has a lot of pain and a hard time with mobility, and that beatrice was awesome and she had a good chair and even a van and a service dog, but you never could've imagined this. their house is huge and beautiful, like something you'd see in an AD tour you like to watch when you're stoned. ava has a cane today, and beatrice trundles in with your bag — she had insisted, quietly, but with a look that told you it would be totally pointless to argue.

'your house is awesome,' you say, to both of them.

beatrice smiles gently. 'we redid it last year, for accessibility. i think it turned out great.'

'wanna see the best part?' ava says, using her cane to bounce a little on the balls of her feet and you have to clear your throat because you had known her for so long. you had loved her for so long, your best friend in the entire world, who was smart and funny and bursting at the seams to feel it all, to really get to live.

'dude,' you say, 'of course.'

'i'm going to put your bag in your room,' beatrice says. 'and then i have a work call. but i should be done after the hour, for whatever you'd like to do, if you want me to join.'

'of course we want you to join,' ava says, and beatrice blushes and then gathers herself and kisses the top of ava's head before she offers you a thumbs up — nerdy, and it makes ava snort — and then lifts your bag like it weighs two pounds or something. 'love of my life,' ava says. 'definitely doesn't have a work call, but she's been stressed all week about making sure she gives us time to ourselves but doesn't seem aloof. huge weirdo.'

'she's hot.'

'ew, diego.'

you shrug. 'all i'm saying is that, like, i get it. not for me, because she's, like, super gay, but you know. for you.' you take a breath. 'sorry, i'm just excited.'

ava laughs. 'bea is super gay, it's true.' she points to a button on the wall nearby and then floor to ceiling glass doors that separate the living space from the patio. 'now, check this out.'

it's pretty fucking wild that ava went from the horrible orphanage, and tons of abuse that you were too small and too weak and too scared to stop, to a whole house that opens up to a day bed and an outdoor kitchen and dining area and a hot tub, a small patch of grass, and then the sea behind — but in the best kind of way. the kind of way that makes you want to tell everyone you meet that things can get better. that good things will happen to good people, at least sometimes. at least ava, who is the best of all of them.

ava motions for you to come with and walks outside, and then it's, like, genuinely the best thing ever when a black and white dog — korra, who ava sends you pictures of all the time and has featured in multiple zoom calls — who was napping in the sun, perks her head up and you swear she, like, dog-smiles at ava. 'hi, good girl,' ava says, and then claps her hands once and korra obediently, and happily, comes to ava's right side and sits, leans her little head against ava's thigh.

'i can't spend this entire time crying,' you say, and ava laughs. 'can i say hi?'

'of course,' she says. 'she's not usually formally working at home, unless i'm having a really bad day. which, you know, i'm not, but they do happen sometimes.' she shrugs and you kneel down in the sun and pet korra's soft ears as she nuzzles your face.

'she's so cool,' you say, and then kiss the top of her head and her nose. 'hey korra! i'm your uncle, i guess?'

'yeah! uncle diego.'

it makes you beam, to sit on the patio with ava as she shows you some of the tasks korra has been trained to do, and tells you about her bar you'll go to later, and points toward their outdoor shower with a sly smile. you do her the courtesy of fake gagging, although you really are just mostly happy for her, with her partner and her dog and a house that was built just for her.

eventually, beatrice comes outside, carrying a very intense charcuterie board. she places it down on the day bed, between you and ava, korra happily snoozing at your feet.

‘hi baby,’ ava says and scoots closer to you, then tugs on beatrice’s hand until she sits. ava kisses her temple. ‘this is very extravagant.’

‘well, we have a guest,’ beatrice says. ‘there’s wine inside, if you’d like a glass.’

‘i know nothing about wine,’ you admit, ‘but if there’s one you think… pairs? well with, you know —‘ you gesture to the elegantly laid out spread of food in front of you — ‘then i’ll trust you and go with that.’

ava grins. ‘yes, beatrice. be our resident sommelier, please.’

beatrice rolls her eyes, again with a blush, but then stands, ignoring ava’s pout. ‘i’ll be right back.’

‘she’s, like, really nice.’

ava lays back with a grin. ‘well she’s on her i was raised by diplomats and nannies most proper behavior right now. i don’t get charcuterie boards like this… ever.’ she takes a bite of cheese. ‘but bea is wonderful. she’s brilliant and funny and so, so kind. she’ll loosen up. i’m really excited you get to spend time with her.’

‘i’m thankful she reached out. i — i’m so happy to be here, and to see you.’

‘me too, my dude.’

beatrice comes back out with fancy real crystal glasses and a bottle of wine she explains is a vintage napa chardonnay, which mostly just makes you think it’s expensive. it probably is, with the way she efficiently uncorks it — ava practically drools, annoying, and you elbow her in the ribs — but it’s, like, really good. at least compared to the cheap wine you sometimes have with your friends when you order greek food.

‘diego,’ beatrice says, measured and anxious and, if ava’s stupid expression is anything to go by, endearing, ‘as you know, i like to surf. although it’s quite early, i was wondering if you might like to join me tomorrow? one of my best friends is an excellent instructor and the wave report looks ideally calm. ava thought you might be interested, if you’d like to learn?’

‘yeah,’ you say. ‘of course. that sounds sick.’

beatrice grins, relaxing a little. ava squeezes her hand. ‘i find it quite fun. it can be hard at first, but it’s nice to be in the water.’

‘diego gets his astounding athletic ability from my side of the family,’ ava says, patting you on the knee.

‘your side of the family?’ beatrice arches a brow.

‘yeah, the orphan side,’ you say, an old joke coming back to you, and ava gives you a high five.

‘i —‘

‘don’t think about it too hard, beatrice. diego also gets his bisexuality from my side of the family too.’

‘now that i’m willing to believe.’

ava winks at you, and then settles back into beatrice’s side.

admittedly, you're exhausted, so the mezcal margarita — smoky and just the right amount of sour — is hitting harder than you thought.

'okay,' ava says, 'boys are easy to flirt with.'

beatrice rolls her eyes.

'they are, bea,' she insists, then looks to you. 'sorry, diego, but boys are just... simple. they see someone hot, especially me, and there's, like, no thoughts.'

you think of the way luis had kissed you one night at a party — with his strong hands and his strong jaw and the rough, delicious scratch of his beard — after you'd just offered him a drink politely, so. honestly, that tracks.

'girls, though, diego.'

you laugh.

'you know, people who aren't men.'

'yeah, of course.'

'difficult. i just — whew.'

'aren't you, like, basically married?'

'well, yes, we're domestic partners. but beatrice is horrible at flirting. she's just lucky she's brilliant, and beautiful, and handsome, and funny.'

beatrice rolls her eyes again, although a blush spreads across her cheeks. 'i think i have more women try to flirt with me than you.'

ava huffs. 'that's because you're just — ugh.' she turns toward you. 'bea has grown into being a lesbian magnet. i once was superior. plus, boys flirt with me too.' she claps you on the back. 'either way, between the two of us, we'll teach you everything you need to know.'

'they won't,' one of their friends says, sliding in next to beatrice, who smiles and kisses him on the cheek. he's maybe the hottest person you've ever seen, with tattoos down both arms and a neat fade, probably a few years older than beatrice. 'i'm keiko,' he says, and offers his hand. his handshake is so strong and you feel yourself blush. 'i own the dojo beatrice goes to.'

'my favorite sparring partner,' beatrice says. 'partially because i have never lost.'

keiko waves her off.

'uh, i'm diego.'

ava laughs, delightedly, at how flustered you clearly are.

'well, if you want advice on boys, i am quite successful.'

'i'm sure you are.'

ava gives you a high five, mortifyingly. 'that's my man.'

'i'm cutting both of you off,' beatrice says.

'one shot, bea, please. come on. all we have to do is walk home.'

beatrice sighs dramatically and runs a hand through her hair, and keiko nudges her in the shoulder. 'for once in your life, beatrice, have a little fun.'

it takes a moment, but she laughs. 'fine. one shot, and then home.'

you surf the next morning, early as fuck, but you’re kind of jetlagged anyway and it’s really beautiful to watch the sunrise while you rest on a board. you haven’t popped up and you got tired pretty fast, but beatrice’s friend, ray — and beatrice herself, obviously — are patient and relaxed and don’t seem to care at all. ava wanders out eventually, setting out a towel and drinking a to-go cup of coffee. she waves happily and blows a kiss in beatrice’s direction, who blushes. it had made you laugh, quietly, when she had put a special bucket hat designed for surfing on after she situated her wetsuit.

‘i don’t want to get sunburned,’ she explained, and then handed you a bottle of spf 100 sunscreen and a zinc stick.

eventually you ride a wave in on your knees, laughing, and then go sit by ava while you watch ray and beatrice and the rest of their little crew surf the next set, bigger on the outer break. you can tell beatrice shows off, for ava and, maybe a bit, for you. it's still early, and ava's happy to sit back in the easy quiet.

'hey,' you say after a while, during a break in sets, 'so, beatrice introduced me this morning as "ava's little brother".'

she turns to you, studies your features carefully, just like she always would when you were in the orphanage, trying to pay close attention. 'did that feel okay?'

'other than the fact that i'm taller than you —'

'— hey —'

'— of course,' you say. 'i love being your brother.'

ava scoots closer to you and bumps your shoulder with hers; you have your wetsuit down around your waist and she has one of beatrice's hoodies on, but you've mostly dried off by this point so you put your arm around her shoulders and tug her to you.

'do you, uh. sister? sibling?'

ava smiles. 'either is great.'

'okay.'

'thanks, diego.'

'nothing to thank me for there. i should be thanking you, honestly. all expenses paid trip to a bougie beach house in california to see someone i've missed so much? the dream.'

she sniffles. you don't know all the details but you know ava has been through some real shit after she — came back to life, you guess? 'i missed you too, so so much.' she clears her throat and wipes under her eyes. 'in the spirit of being your cool older sibling, what mild to moderately wild things do you want to do here. i don't want your parents to be mad at me so consider wisely.'

'tattoo.'

'do you have anything planned that you would want?'

'well, no.'

ava laughs.

'what? beatrice has cool tattoos.'

'she is a staunch believer that you should plan your tattoos in advance. but think of something and then next time we'll get you all set up with her artist, if you want.'

there's a level of maturity and care that's a little unexpected but, like, really cool? really nice. it's kind of weird and makes you a bit emotional, because ava is grown up. she's still an idiot, and constantly annoying, and very funny — but she's gotten to get older, and so have you.

'we could dye our hair,' she says, shrugging. 'easy to rectify, if it's a disaster.'

'i'm so in, man.' your hair is darker than hers, and you have no idea if she knows what she's doing, but you trust beatrice — with her neat hair and neat house and neat clothes and seemingly undying love for ava — to monitor the situation.

'maybe we can do the bi flag.'

it makes you laugh, imagining how silly it would look. 'what about just purple? like, a light purple situation.'

'i've done that before,' she tells you excitedly. 'loved it. definitely time to return.'

'deal. also, i want to try california weed.'

ava grins. 'we would have let you last night, you know, but you were actively falling asleep at the bar after one cocktail.'

'it's the time difference, i swear.'

'sure it is.'

'well, bea loves her edibles. she's very particular about them. i'm... much less particular about joints, but we can start off chill. maybe this afternoon. and then we can have tacos.'

'that sounds like a perfect day.'

she smiles. 'yeah,' she says. 'even more perfect because i get to share it with you.'

'gross,' you say, although you might suddenly cry. 'sappy.'

'yeah, yeah. whatever.'

you keep your arm around ava's shoulders and watch beatrice and ray trade tricks the next set, and then they both call it and walk, laughing, toward you. ava struggles to stand with a frown, and you offer your arm for her to take if she wants. she does, smiles quickly in thanks and then, you know too, moves on without a word. she kisses beatrice soundly on the mouth, then pushes her goofy bucket hat off her head, fastened around her neck and resting on the back of her shoulders, and then gratuitously unzips her wetsuit while ray rolls her eyes.

it's a whole big world, you learn more and more every day. ray joins you for breakfast and then ava takes you shopping while you're pretty sure beatrice just naps. ava uses her chair and brings korra, which is mostly just the coolest thing in the world to you, because she has a whole van customized too, and she just — you had known, when you were younger, when ava would get to go outside in her chair, that nothing was limiting her other than care, and access. you had been limited too, and you ached with it. you ache differently now, because ava navigates her day fully and independently: a wheelchair lift for the stairs, and a huge, beautiful closet and kitchen where she can reach everything without having to stand, and korra, who can turn on lights and open doors and brings you a juice from the fridge when you sit down and mention you're thirsty; ava grins with the command and then praises korra, and you scratch her soft head and even softer ears.

beatrice does supervise when you and ava dye your hair, but ava mostly knows what she's doing, and really gets distracted the most when she looks over at beatrice in lowslung joggers and a cutoff tank and a beanie, leaning against the doorframe quietly, a fond expression on her face. ava wears crop tops and wideleg pants and expensive sneakers and you both end up laughing when you have your matching lavender hair.

you eat edibles that make everything feel lush and slow and perfect, and beatrice laughs softly at ava's ramble about her arms, and she orders a ton of her favorite chinese food that you eat on the patio at sunset. you take some pictures on your film camera, at sunset, and beatrice takes a few of you and ava. you wish you could go back in time and tell both of you, when you were small and sad and scared and abused, that things would be this beautiful one day. that things would be this good.

ava and beatrice eventually say goodnight before they head inside to their bedroom. there's too much light pollution in los angeles to see many of the stars, but you know they're there all the same.

#wn #warrior nun fic #avatrice #avatrice fic #butch bea 🥺🫡#they just get to have such a good life #diego is just like ... wow ... !! ava is so stupid. i love her so much

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trans-girl-nausicaa · 2 months

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im sooo excited for my new job! decent pay, some healthy routines, regular socialization, plus actual health insurance that doesnt suck. I dont care WHAT kinda crazy shit i might have to clean if i can really better my life. Allegedly the company has good opportunities for advancement which really appeals to me as I have spent my whole professional life bumping up against glass ceilings. Plus its a monday to friday job so i will still get to have a regular social life outside of work. Thats one of the not often talked about downsides of the restaurant industry: Frequently working on weekends. If you have friends who AREN’T in the restaurant industry, you likely won’t have the same days off as them and it can really kill your social life.

Crucially, this job appears to have decent benefits too. Medical (with a decent insurance company even), dental, and vision. They also mentioned some kinda stipend or reimbursement for public transportation too.

I wonder if my new plan can cover laser hair removal or electrolysis? Their website lists facial hair removal as a covered procedure but idk what the out of pocket costs would be or if it’d be covered under my work’s specific plan. I got laser done on my face a few years ago but ive got some stubble coming back in :/ soooo i want to get some more treatments for that. I’ve heard some insurance plans even cover FFS (which is pretty awesome) so I feel like laser being covered is a possibility.

I would seriously consider FFS and professional voice training if I didnt have to pay the whole thing out of pocket.

In recent years I think I have seen some insurance companies and hospital systems gradually becoming slightly more competent about trans healthcare. I specifically remember when Virginia Mason announced their new center for transgender health. It was difficult going through the insurance process for GRS back in 2018. I had to have some long phone conversations with my insurance company, I had to do all the research on which surgeon took my insurance myself, and we still ended up with a few thousand bucks of medical bills for my hospital stay. Blessedly my parents were able to help me pay for it. I will be eternally grateful to them for that. Bottom surgery was a life-changing improvement to my life.

If any of you gals have any questions about bottom surgery, let me know. I feel like we dont talk about it enough in the transfem community.

#personal

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shiftingtomydrs · 4 days

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MLB DR

Alright so same as with some other drs my personal stuff like name and everything is the same soo wont go into that a lot tbh

then backstory, i originally wanted to be like an exchange student in france but then like i cant very well be ladybug if im only there for a year so i switched it to i move to france for some reason i dont know yet and i live there with my aunt or smth bcs she lives near paris yk? then basically i just kinda take marinettes place but not completely, like shes still there and stuff but im there too yk? my love interest is adrien and marinette will get together (and stay together) with luca cos theyre cute and im not sure yet if i should script her crush on adrien out or just say it disappears at some point

changes in plot: i dont like anything after season 2, dont ask me why, i just dont like it idk why either, so im gonna script seasons 3-5 out with some exceptions (e.g. i kinda really like cat blanc so i might leave that in with some other stuff but the whole shadow moth and all that shit no) also lila isnt the next supervillain shes just a regular mean girl cos it doesnt make any frickin sense that a 15 year old is able to manipulate every single person she meets. like shell still be able to lie and manipulate people her age but not adults cos thats just stupid imo. Also i havent even watched season 5 yet so im going off spoilers i saw for the next part: none of the miraculous will have permanent holders except ladybug and chat noir (aka me and adrien) cos i like to be special :) also i wont be guardian of the miraculous until much later like college or smth cos thats a ton of pressure and it went sideways for marinette so i dont want it going sideways for me. oh and a big one: ill be taking the whole sentimonster plot out cos i hate it and i think ive never hated a plot as much as that one. like sentimonsters can exist okay but felix and adrien and kagami etc arent one. cos just no. oh and ofc i wont know adrien is chat noir haha

now a bit more about myself: idk yet if i just wanna kinda steal marinettes interests and do the whole design thing cos i am a sucker for parallels and the parallel of adriens parents and adrinette is there but then again why would i wanna be like gabriel? so i might just do what i do in 90% of my drs and be a songwriter (well ill be that anyway question is do i add the designing part on top or not?), otherwise i like baking, ill do figure skating or gymnastics or ballet prolly like all the things i wanna do here but cant for this or that reason. my nationality will be german prolly cos i like having the german passport and also i dont think i need a visa for france cos its in the eu. i wont really script much more about like me and adrien except that we end up together but in my head its kinda similar to the adrien and marinette situation cos im a sucker for slowburn and idk it just fits i think also with my issues with trusting people have good intentions and not just spend time with me bcs of a bet or shit like that.

Physical looks, i might change my hair color cos idk i think itll fit and yeah but ill still have my eye color and height and stuff just be a bit fitter cos with my endurance theres no way ill be able to be a superhero (ik theres magic and shit but still)

im not sure yet if i should leave the dr as a cartoon or do it like this reality (leaning towards this reality bcs i think cartoon would freak me out a bit for my first shift and id overcomplicate it) or maybe ill just do two drs, one cartoon and one not.

anyway, if you have any questions, id love to talk more about this dr so pls ask them <3

@ningsols here it is :)

#desired reality #shifting #reality shifting #shift #reality shift #shifter #shifting realities #shifting diary #shiftblr #shifters #miraculous ladybug dr #mlb dr

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trickstarbrave · 4 months

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still trying to get back in the swing of writing....

vivi and steren arrive in skyrim. find and adopt a scrib.

included is my hc nerevar is part nord. bc idk what you want from me. vivienne is from @mulberrycafe i just like these two together a lot

Finally, after so long at sea, the ship docked in Windhelm. It was cold--frigid, even, and miserable. The Illiac bay would be warmer, but Steren really needed to get off the boat. Sleep and proper food had done wonders to help him recover, but what he really needed were some proper healing potions and food that weren’t rations. He was able to walk around without much pain after months of agony, but Dagoth Ur’s attacks were… Harder to heal naturally than other attacks, and the months of abuse were not doing his body any favors. He was afraid if they stayed for several more months on the ship his condition would start to deteriorate again, worrying Vivienne.

Besides, they could always move somewhere warmer if they needed to, years down the line. They were dunmer, after all, and very long lived…

He ignored the sinking feeling in his stomach when he realized corprus would mean he would outlive Vivienne. They would cross that bridge when they got there. Right now, Steren was still in poor physical health and Vivienne was in a delicate state mentally. Besides, would Vivienne even believe him right away? He didn’t want Vivi worrying that he went insane after so much abuse. There would be time to tell him, when they were both much more stable.

Vivienne had covered himself up for the most part; a heavy scarf covering most of his face and his hair, long clothes covering up everything else…The only thing really exposed were his eyes. Steren had agreed it was also for the better; someone might recognize him and try to ship them back, but deep down he knew it was much more likely someone would call him “Vivec”. Steren covered the red star on his forehead with a bandana just as the ship docked, and walked with him hand in hand into the city.

“... When I heard our people were living here after the Red Year,” Steren remarked, looking at the cramped living quarters, “I didn’t imagine it to be like this.”

The Grey Quarter, as it was called, was kind of a mess. The nords at the docks told them if they were looking for refuge to head there, yet it was obvious the Grey Quarter was what used to be the ‘lower class’ section of the huge, walled city. Stone buildings in disarray, frayed banners blowing in the arctic winds, sad stalls where people bought and sold goods…

For many dunmer this was probably their ‘safe’ option. There were foods and alchemical ingredients they were familiar with. A young bull netch hovered around some steps, making a soft, rhythmic tone. There were banners and urns and baskets all with house sigils and signs. People have built lives here, over the past two centuries, children running through the cramped streets and alleyways.

However, the chill sunk in through the wool clothes he was wearing making him shiver, and he knew this wouldn’t be a good place for them. Lodging at the corner club was too high, and there were few places for them to find a decent place to live, not to mention there were nords occasionally harassing the dunmer who dared to step outside the Grey Quarter on the regular.

They could grab some supplies while they were here though. Kwama eggs cost an arm and a leg, much to his disappointment, but they had familiar ingredients he could make some rudimentary potions with and a few alchemical tools, not to mention some warmer clothes for both of them. They had little gold, but it was important to get the essentials.

“I know…” Vivienne said softly, looking over it. “I’d imagined it… Different.”

“I guess Windhelm might not have been the best place to settle.” There was probably some complex history on why they settled there, but Steren didn’t know it and didn’t care to find out.

“What do you think we should do first?”

“Since we’re still traveling and short on coin…” Steren put the tools and ingredients in the bag that got swiped from his client months ago. “I think heading further south would be good. The Rift supposedly has a climate a little closer to Northern Morrowind given the Velothi mountains are nearby. Plus there should be more work rather than here in the cramped city…”

There was something off about the air of the city, something that Steren didn’t like. A weird tension in a lot of the nords they passed by. It gave him the impression something was going to happen soon, and what, he didn’t want to find out.

“I don’t want to be any closer to Morrowind then we have to be…” Vivienne’s ears tilted down, but Steren smiled reassuringly.

“It will still be very different to Morrowind and I doubt they’d make the trek just to look for us in the Rift.” Steren gave his hand a squeeze. “Besides, I’d always wanted to see the Rift some day.”

“You did?” Vivienne asked.

“Yes.” Steren answered, remembering all the stories Nerevar’s ghost would tell him as they traveled. The long walks were much less lonely after he got the ring, able to see and converse with his father. “One of my fathers was part nord.” He admitted. “He never knew his father, but he was originally from the Rift.” It wasn’t a secret at the time; many people could see it in Nerevar’s features. Yet, as time went on, that part of him was washed away from history. Instead he was Saint Moon-and-Star, hero of the dunmer, champion of the Tribunal. The masks ordinators wore looked uncannily like him but erased all the nordic features from his face, fixed in the permanent, serious gaze he gave. They never captured in any art the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, the way everything lit up when he grinned. They never captured the furrow in his brow when he was worried, nor the tenderness in his expression when recounting fond memories.

The only thing immortalized in his legacy was war, it seemed. Not who he loved. Not his son. Not his joy. Just violence.

“Oh,” Vivienne looked away slightly. “Then we should see it--”

“If you don’t want to, we don't have to.” Steren added.

“No, we’re already here--”

“There will be plenty of time for us to visit later.” He imagined they’d be in Skyrim at least a few months; certainly enough time to make a visit to the Rift.

“I don’t know where else to go anyways.” Vivienne admitted, his hand tighter in Steren’s. Steren took note of the way his cheeks were starting to turn red from the chill of the wind, Steren reaching one gloved hand up to warm the light-grey side of his face.

“Then… We can start there. Look for some work, figure out where else you want to go…” Vivienne could pick the next place once they got their footing. “My father said the Rift was beautiful this time of year and great to camp in, so we should be able to survive roughing it out there while looking for work.” Nerevar described the trees as looking like all the most beautiful colors of fire in the chill of autumn. There was pretty good wildlife there too; easy fish to catch, deer, plenty of clear spring water to drink from, and lots of gorgeous sights.

Steren was going to continue though, when he felt something on his leg. He looked down, seeing a cold little scrib moving slowly, scratching pitifully at his leg. It was so cold the poor thing was probably having trouble moving, barely able to hiss.

“Damn pest…” A dunmer swore, ready to wack it with a broom, before Steren scooped it up with one arm. “We keep trying to get it to leave but it keeps digging through trash and begging for scraps. Don’t bother feeding it or it will never leave you alone. Can’t even roast the damn thing because it keeps escaping when we try…”

Vivienne looked at it curiously as it started to nuzzle closer to Steren for warmth. Steren felt his heart tickle; he’d often see the little things out in the wild, giving them a friendly little pet while they foraged and dug around in the ash. They were commonplace in Morrowind; with so many kwama egg mines there were inevitably wild and feral larval kwama moving about, looking for a new place to settle. Natural kwama colonies were typically deep in mountains or jagged caves hard to get to, with scribs looking for places they might eventually set up homes in as adults.

This scrib was obviously a feral one; an egg from a mine hatched outside it at some point, and not knowing what else to do, he probably went looking for any miners with the scent on them from the mines. Then he hung around the Grey Quarter in hopes of being looked after while everyone else treated him like a nuisance.

He looked at Vivienne, but already Vivienne was giggling softly, petting him.

“You want to take him?”

“He’s not welcome here, so…” Steren knew the feeling very well. That, combined with how much he missed his parents and everything else he’d been through, there was a sort of kinship with the little insect not wanted by anyone else.

“Then let’s take him.” Steren smiled warmly at Vivienne, shifting his grip slightly so the scrib could more comfortably cling to his wool tunic and keep himself warm.

#steren nerevarine #steren #vivi au #vivienne dragonborn #my writing

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korrasamibottles · 2 months

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Long tag game!! Thanks @nova-leaf @lilrobinbird for tagging me💖

How many tumblr accounts have you had before this one?

Just one! I made it in 2012 to look at Walking Dead and Supernatural gifs and eventually it just turned into a personal blog. I met two of my best friends there!! Unfortunately I'm locked out of it for now because I decided to be a responsible internet enjoyer and changed all my passwords and I uhh. I can't remember what I changed it to. And the email I used to sign up 12 years ago is long dead. So that blog might be gone forever. Life is a highway I'm gonna ride it all night long etc. etc.

How long have you been in fandom?

I had really intense Supernatural and MCU phases back in the day, and binged TLOK and ATLA in 2015 after the Korra finale (I watched Korra first and then atla, and I maintain that's the best way to do it😌) but I never really participated in the fandom, like I never talked to anyone or made anything. So I'm gonna say I've been in fandom since summer 2023 when I made this blog to post my tlok fic (couldn't post it on my old one. My face is/was all over it. You understand.) Everyone I've interacted with here is like. Shockingly nice. Idk why I expected to be beaten with hammers but umm it didn't happen so thank you all for that💖

Your favorite trope in fiction?

AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED!!!!! Also rivals coming together to fight a common enemy and then maybe coming together in a different way.....? That's good too.

Your favorite random fact?

There are vast, delicate fungal networks in the earth beneath our feet right now as we speak :) They wrap around tree roots and spread far and wide, connecting multiple trees with each other and allowing them to share water and nutrients. This is especially helpful for saplings, which often aren't able to get enough sunlight to make their own sugars. The fungal network helps ensure the survival of young trees, and in exchange it gets a share in the nutrients being passed between the trees!!!

Your favourite game or kind of game?

Saw trap.

A place you’d like to visit? (If carbon emissions, logistics and money weren’t in question)

Oh god literally anywhere. I want to get marinated in every culture and environment I think that would blow my mind in the best way. I do want to make it to Italy specifically at some point in my life because apparently I have cousins there? But then again what if they're weird and I don't actually want to meet them.....

An animal you’re irrationally afraid of?

I can't really think of any? As a kid I was terrified of big dogs, but that fear is like 99% gone now. Sometimes other people have their dogs off leash in the woods and I gotta say. I Do Not Like It when they come running up snarling barking jumping with their hair raised at me. But the vast majority of dogs are I encounter are nice, and when they aren't I just try to ignore them and keep walking lol.

What’s your favourite season?

Autumn 10000% and then winter. Then spring. Then summer. I hate being hot.

A smell that brings you nice memories?

So maybe this is weird but I really like the way horses smell? I was a farm girl growing up and always loved horses....a horse bit the top of my head once...a different horse broke my arm......still love them.

(If you’re ok talking about food. If not, delete this part) What’s your favorite food from where you were born? And what’s your favorite food from some place else?

My mom's Italian so it was all pasta all the time growing up...lasagna😭 Also chicken cacciatore but the pasta isn't the main event there. But yeah. Pasta tomato garlic basil.....I'm there babiee.

I'm also obsessed with Indian food and there's a place near me that has a vegetable korma that makes me cry.

What’s your favorite drink (if you drink alcohol, alcoholic and non-alcoholic)?

I don't drink alcohol anymore but I loooooooved rum & coke. Also hard cider.

As for regular drinks. I am 75% fruit juice by volume at all times.

Do you give your pets random table scraps?

My cat is a huge freak who turns her nose up at human food like she's literally too good for it. Sometimes I'll offer her a piece of cheese and she'll lick it, but that's it.

I don't know who has and hasn't been tagged already so if you want to do this. Do it🫵

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rebouks · 2 years

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Welcome to Curtis's Container Commune!

SUBMISSIONS CLOSED

Or.. it will be a commune one day, but he needs a hand or two first! Technically seven extra pairs of hands... As of right now, all Curtis has is an empty container and a vision! That vision is a self-sufficient community, a greener world and hopefully some nicer digs.

Sure he has no money, the air is putrid, the soil barren... There's no stove, no proper bathroom, no beds, no food, no power, no water, uh.. we'll stop there, but you get the picture. It's gonna be great, right?!

Tired of the rat race? Want to get your hands dirty? Parents kicked you outta their basement? Wanna make some new friends.. maybe more?! Look no further!

Please send your applications to the former Cassidy residence as Curtis doesn't have a mailbox yet (warning: Cassie will read them all)

You might be asking; Becca, what the hell is this? Well... It's a rags to riches style mini "BC" I suppose.. though also, not really 🤔 The idea being that Curty here builds up a container community with seven other sims, since he's the jade generation of the NSB2 challenge... Maybe he finds love, maybe not? I guess you could consider it a rough take on a BC since he could fall in love with one of em? But obviously there's no roses, challenges, dates or eliminations and some sims may leave due to.. idk, not being able to cope, falling out with members of the community, whatever else?? We're wingin' it here as per, so we'll see what happens.

IMPORTANT NOTE: As of right now I'm on patch 1.89.214.1030 and have no plans to update. Any submissions need to be made/have been made for this patch or earlier. I'm sorry to potentially cut some of you off from submitting but I'm just not willing to potentially break my game for this shit lmao.

Info: Curtis is a vegetarian, recycle disciple, green fiend with the Eco Innovator aspiration aka the Jade Gen of the NSB2.

Seven sims will be chosen! (I learnt my lesson last time, no more!!)

Occults are allowed but ehhh.. not preferred.

All sims/genders/sexualities are welcome! YA preferred.

Sims may have jobs, likes and dislikes, freelance careers etc if you wish but we're sticking it to the man for the most part, so..?

Curtis is a dummy so he's not screening this shit. Obviously handy sims, gardeners etc etc would be the most use but if you wanna throw a squeamish spanner in the works, go ahead!

In a similar vein, feel free to give 'em some skills!

Sims may not bring any money with them. We're starting from 0!

I have all packs/kits except journey to Shituu and High School whatever it is.

At least one outfit per category.

CC allowed but keep it light on the clothes plx, no alpha hair either.

Give 'em as much or as little backstory as you wish. They're ultimately just gameplay sims so you don't have to go nuts if you can't be arsed.

Any in game traits allowed but keep it real y'know.. 3 traits only and no custom traits plx!

Wicked Whims is in effect 👀

Non "winners" or sims that choose to leave may stay in my game as a townie or be returned to their creator.

Hmmmm.. I think that's it? Idk.. any questions or w/e shoot me a dm!

Bear in mind this is simple gameplay so posts will just be like my regular gp posts, it's not gonna be some big production with dialogue or anything. I just felt like bringing some other peoples sims along for a fun little experiment to spice things up.

Tag me and your simmies with #Curtis'sCommune so I can see em! Deadline for submissions is August 30th (ish). I have a busy two weeks coming up so this may be longer if I can't get my shit together.. or shorter if I get a ridiculous amount. Somnium is my baby and comes first so this is gonna be real chill! Curtis is still a teen atm so it's all gooood, I won't be starting straight away.

#ts4 #sims 4 #curtis #Curtis'sCommune #idk wtf to tag this as lmao #it's hardly a bc #😂#just my regular gameplay but with your simmies knocking around to spice things up #god knows the eco asspirations are boring af so i need something to get me through this gen lmaoo

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skadream · 6 days

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happy ummm 8th month on t? (9th if i were actually on t continuously but i ran out for a month that one time) i used to do monthly t updates on tiktok but i dont rlly feel like doing that rn so i'll yap about it here (its actually wild how little stuff i have about my transition on my tumblr generally speaking? as if this isnt the website that transed my gender in the first place)

it really is hard to notice such gradual changes from month to month, especially if its just me lookin at myself, compared to seeing a doctor in person which, i am getting rx'd T thru telehealth currently as my nearest planned parenthood or even a neighboring one does not actually do gender affirming care which is. insane and whack. esp when i do live in a pretty populated county maybe second or third to nyc and albany area. and i have to call in to a pp THREE HOURS BY TRANSIT from me. but like, its been working for now ok!

mentally and emotionally ive been very up and down overall but i think thats largely due to my medication changes rather than hormones. ALTHOUGH. when i ran out for a month in november and my period came back... dude it was so horrible like genuinely the worst period of my life. its one of those things where i didnt realize just how dysphoric something could make me feel until i had a taste of being able to alleviate said dysphoria. so mentally speaking testosterone is probably pulling the mental train even more than the wellbutrin lol. and im trying not to account too much for circumstance/environment cuz like OBVIOUSLY if things were going smoothly for me there a lot of my emotional issues would be at least somewhat relieved, but im working with what i got.

physically, since starting t in july i have lost weight. at first i was very scared it was my medication, and i think a part of it was at least a little, like two of my meds can cause some weight loss, but i am no longer losing weight in a concerning way but just yknow the regular amount of daily fluctuation. so i do think a lot of my weight loss was due to hormones just shifting around my fat and all that, or something idk lol. everyones so diff with hormones, i know some trans guys gain weight on t and not necessarily from muscle training, i know girls on e who have lost weight without any changes to diet or exercise, it really depends so as always, this is just my experience etc etc

i do have more facial hair but its still quite patchy, i think i might start filling in my stache tho. with my shitty goatee, its not my fav so i shave it off when im not just sitting inside all day, but also idk it makes my chin feel less. round. or smth. i do always think of my one friend telling me ill look like the lead singer of a nü metal band and honestly maybe i should start giving that energy more anyway! embrace goatee lifestyle!

oh yeah my voice dropped in like the first two months and has gotten deeper since, and on timtom i talked a lot about wanting to maintain the vocal range i had pre-t? i dont think thats fully possible like i think the highest notes i used to reach are just inaccessible to me, but i think if i did some like vocal singing warmups i can get back up to reach those higher notes. in retrospect the way ive sung my whole life has actually prob been destructive on my voice, partly from lack of proper training and partly intentionally trying to sound deeper and more gravelly, but now that i can access deeper sounds more naturally i really do wanna work on singing in a better way where i can reach some of those notes.

overall yea im liking whats happening so far, i do wish it was happening faster but i understand that some people dont get the progress ive gotten for like, YEARS, and new progressions will be happening to me for years after today. if you think about "real" puberty, it is a gradual shift its not like you suddenly grow a chest as soon as you Bleed or whatever its different for literally every person and since im the only one in my family that i know of who has done this, im kind of a guinea pig. but like im okay with that! anyway yeah really recommrnd testosterone if u want it i like it :)

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cathwritestragediesnotsins · 1 year

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Hi! I don’t know if ships are still open, and feel free to ignore this of they’re not, but if they are I’d like one please

I’m an INFP as well as adhd. I have a bad case of anxiety and a mild case of depression. I’m a loud introvert (I’m introverted in nature but once I get talking I ramble and can get very loud. I have poor volume control). I hate social situations and tend to make myself sick due to the anxiety of them. I do get very excited about my hyperfixations and I do this thing where I feel nothing or everything, no inbetween.

As for hobbies, I ADORE reading and writing. It’s what I spend most of my time doing. I also help coach a soccer team (I work with the goalies in particular). I also dance, draw and play piano

As for a physical description, I’m 5’3 ish, pale and have freckles over my cheeks and nose with beauty marks scattered across my arms. My hair is naturally blonde and rather fine, but I like to dye it on a semi regular basis. It’s also short and I tend to cut it impulsively. I have green eyes and glasses, and I’m rather petite

And lastly, my pronouns are they/them and I have a male preference

Hi! Thank you so much for requesting! I AM SO SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE I HOPE THIS IS OK

I SHIP YOU WITH: MIRIO TOGATA

No because I honestly think Mirio would be so good with you! His personality goes great with yours both in public and in private.

He doesn’t mind that you’re more introverted, his best friend happens to be the introvert to rule all introverts so he certainly is well versed in when is ok to push you a little to be more social and when to let you have your space.

When you guys are alone or with a group of close friends he loves to see how loud and outgoing you can be when you are with the people you trust!

We all know Mirio is good at dealing with anxiety as well. I think often he serves as a rock or a safe place for you. Like, it’s harder to imagine bad things happening when he’s around because he’s so…Mirio. He’s strong and dependable and sweet. He never fails to make you feel better when you are anxious. Sometimes it takes awhile before he’s able to get you out of your head but he will stay by your side through the process. He’s there to cuddle you through panic attacks and hold your hair/rub your back as you get sick. He is not going anywhere unless you ask him to.

If you asked him to help you dye your hair he would be so enthusiastic about it! He watches videos and reads the instructions on the box like 5 different times to make sure he’s going to do it right. It might be a little sloppy the first time but give him another chance or two and eventually he’ll get really good at it!

Mirio loves to see you interact with the kids on the team you coach (I’m assuming it’s a kids team but idk) and finds it so endearing how much they all love you. Sometimes he’ll come to the practices with you to watch and the entire team gets lowkey distracted by him lmao

As for the rest of your hobbies Mirio loves to encourage you in those as well, even if he’s not always quite sure how to go about it. When you’re reading a book he’ll ask you to read it out loud to him even if you’re half way through. When you’re drawing he is more than willing to be a model for you if there are any parts of the human anatomy you just can’t seem to get right. And I’m sure he has like a thousand videos on his phone if you playing piano! He’s always talking about how talented you are to anyone who will listen

He just thinks you’re the coolest and he’s so proud of you.

#posts by cath #bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mirio togata #Mirio x reader #ships by Cath #Cath does ships #Cath’s 1k celebration #lemillion #togata mirio

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what-if-nct · 10 months

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hellooo im a scene girl (15) but my parents dont let me buy raccoon extentions / colorful extentions, so i wanna buy them sneakily somewhere but idk where to buy them. should i go to my local hairdresser and ask to buy them? idk bc im bad at being social, but idk how else to get them. could i maybe make them myself smh?

Oh I was scene in highschool! My hair still looks scene it's just how it grows at this point plus it's pink. you can either get them on Amazon or get regular blonde extensions and dye them with hair dye if it's human hair or fabric dye if it's synthetic. It's kinda messy with fabric dye though. But I have been able to dye doll's hair which is the same as synthetic extensions with real dye, but it has to be very blonde and a staining dye like splat but it ends up being a pastel. Human hair and dye is easiest. Also if you have a Claire's or Hot topic it's easy to get them already dyed and they're fairly cheap. Or if you have an equivalent to those shops. If you're in the states there's a Claire's section in every CVS there's usually dyed extensions there but sometimes they're attached to an obnoxious hair clip but you might find something that would work. I really hope this was helpful.

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1centillion · 1 year

Text

Two things u thought were related might not be (i.e. body insecurity and body envy).

Relation between customer and farmers market seller. Is it awk bc you feel compelled to talk (by your own code you know you should be). alas the freedom of a grocery store and the ability to stare into your cart as long as you need and put things back. Back when people knew their grocers, was it less transactional with none of the awk? You saw them every week and a relationship must eventually get born. Since theres more routine, each trip probably has less variation (comp to your present day grocery trips where i buy fuck all) and maybe your grocer grows to inform you and your kitchen of what to make and how to make dinner

Walking around downtown, passing me is a well put together woman. Great hair, dream body excellent taste. She's really executing my ideal personal style but at a bettter rate. I am jealous of her. I want to look like her? I want to be her? Why? Your first assumption is that shes rich and pretty. A) remember that looks can be deceiving, you dont know anything about her, even if she was rich and pretty she could have a personality that you wouldnt trade for. But even if she did 2) why do you want to be her? what does she have that you want? you wish you had her clothing? you can. you know you can you know how to shop. find the pieces or sse that you liked and wear them together. You think youre missing out because you dont get to have the rest of her wardrobe. You think there must be pieces that youll like even better. Babe remember that the life unlived doesnt need to be examined. you want to be skinny like her? Figure that one out thats lame and not qualified to spark intense jealousy. Truly, this envy just means you think she looks great and youre inspired by her style. [Just realized idk if i bought those 3 silver rings bc i like how they look on my hand or bc i was trying to replicate someone else's beauty on my body (like, ive seen photos of ringed fingers that i like but idk if my hands and my ideal style vibe with that)] you want to live her life? Bc you think it must be more fun or glamourous or something? See my response re:the clothing its the same thing. If you want to work less or take a vacation, do it. Find a new job and you dont even want to go to fiji so dont be sweaty bc she does and you dont.

Seeing a couple in a movie get together and the story of their romance is epic. Jealousy? Yearning? Not fuel in me right now to dissect this. Is this something you want for yourself? Why?

Seeing a well dressed couple together in the street. Flash of jealousy but theres no fuel to really keep it going. Boredom. Rather than feel like you are missing out on the option to be loved and envied, be willing to appreciate the beauty they are the world. You see human forms and think that you could be in one of their places. But their love is not a beauty that you have as a theoretical possibility to wear, their love is like jun's cats living in the kitchen or a forrest on a mountain with a sunset. Coo and admire it, let your day be brightened by them.

Going to a bar alone. Apprehensive because you assume people will think youre weird. You dont have to go to a bar and put on a production of yourself so that someone thinks youre smart and comes to talk to you. Since overcoming my desire to date, this instinct has been less prevalent for me so im not going to spend much time on this. A fun way to be at a bar alone would be to look at tumblr and people watch. If its quiet, listen to music or listen to the bars music! Drop the desire to meet new people

Mushroom seller at the larchmont farmers market. smart to not approach. You didnt want mushrooms at all. You wanted to go so that hed approach you and chit chat. And if you did, most likely it would have just been regular pleasantries between farmers market guy and potential customer. And youre too shy to have been able to bare speaking to himanyways! If you werent and if the best theoretical scenario happened, itd be like: you approach the stall and conversation is struck up. You are nervous to be speaking to someone so cute. You experience shy ness. This is normal. Its only because you do not know him! And thats okay. Hes charming but not so charming youd want to date and would like your phone number. "Id love to be friends but to let you know, im not looking to date. Apologies for being presumptuous!" Honesty is the best policy. If he doesnt want your number anymore then it really is best and most relieving for all parties. Hes charming and youd like to get to know him better but you dont think youd like to date but youre willing to give it a try and he would like your phone number. Go on that first date and have fun! First date doesnt mean you have to lock him down, go have fun since youve already met you know the conversation wont be insufferable at least. Hes charming and his personality is even more charming and you want to date. If he doesnt ask for your number, thats okay cant win em all. Also in this scenario he's charming but not so charming youd ask for his number. If he asks for your number and a date, go on the date! Youre going to be so nervous and thats normal. Youll be more aware of yourself (compared to the date from prev theoretical) but thats normal too. Have fun! At the end of the day, you wanted the mushroom seller to talk to you because you wanted the compliment of looking interesting and pretty. Which is fine but cant let it result in a loss of cash or time.

Oh btw u def bought two loaves of bread bc you were worried about what they were thinking of you (wrong motivation) which led to over eating bread since you had too much in the house (lame consequence) you know what you want to do. Do not stray. Do not revert to old habits, shake off the flinch and execute. Ugh it *is* guilt inducing to walk up to a stall without buying anything. And you feel that way bc youve been a girl scout manning a booth that gets overlooked. Its fine to feel this but you have to balance your actions with your desires. If the feeling is so strong that day, pick a baker and buy their loaf and thats it dont worry about missing out on other bread. If you are curious about the bread, steel yourself against the guilt. Do not overspend and over exert yourself for such silly a reason.

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chibitabathasloves · 2 years

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i think when it comes to learning a language it's better to learn smth fun than smth u "should" i never was able to get into spanish. and theres no real reason for me to learn lithuanian but its fun ! gl w danish !!

if you do end up reading the books i'll have to warn you of p much every trigger warning on earth ? thomas harris managed to trigger me on things i didn't even know could be a problem. so be safe out there. i haven't watched SOTL in a way that matters so i can't say anything about it (i know) or hannibal rising for that matter (havent even read the book version of that) but manhunter is also another hannibal i love ! he's in it for 8 minutes though. up to you if thats worth it. feed the book notes ! :) also i wouldnt be able to judge u for ur handwriting ! i have severe dysgraphia so i understand how it is sometimes. i can't promise id be able to read it though. (also unrelated and a bit late but if you want to share the italian will/hanna nicknames i think i'd love that knowledge)

my favorite part about NBC lecter is definitely his self control. his need for control actually. and to me the most important part about lecter is his survivability. that's why to me its always funny to think "oh old man needs his fancy silk and fine dinners, he'd crumble like feta if he didn't have them" but if this turns into serious analysis of his character then its glossing over the fact that hannibal lecter has reached almost perfect ataraxia ? like, he has perfect control at all times. he has control over the situation (his constant manipulation and schemes) but if the situation slips from him (getting tied up christ style and slashed at the wrists, getting kidnapped and tied up in the stables), then it doesn't matter, he still has control. because... he doesn't care ! hannibal doesn't lose his shit pulling his hair out crying screaming if his plans don't go according to plan because he's reached perfect control over his emotions. therefore he doesn't care if things go wrong, it's just another interesting thing happening in his life. if he doesn't allow himself to feel upset, if he doesn't allow himself to freak out over the loss of control, then he's never lost control in the first place, he can't get traumatized, and it's like nothing bad happened. that's why i think any upset he might have felt over the assassination attempt was played up/acted out so he could lure alana (who is attracted to pathetic men in need of fixing like a moth to the light). thats also why i think hannibal couldn't have suffered THAT much from being in jail for three years because... idk like sure it cost him something, it cost him his freedom and everything. freedom from murder. but the fact he gave it up willingly is so much more important to who hannibal lecter is - someone who will never be in a traumatic situation ever again and never get hurt again - than any luxury he might have had when he was free and has now lost. i think in comparison the s2 finale was more of a loss of control albeit partial and i think it affected him more negatively. what are ur thoughts

Okay, so I actually have my notes out, because I am an absolute little gremlin. And you're right about the sense of control over his emotions. When he had a noose around his neck he was still cracking jokes. And you're also right about playing up the trauma. If you watch him with Jack, he has his regular collar, buttoned all the way up with a tie. With Alana he wears the shirts open with a scarf to cover up the bruises that may or may not still be there. He acts like the idea of having something constricting around his neck is unappealing, but still steps into his tailored suits and ties a scarf around his neck anyways. Its a very shallow and easily seen through disguise (bruises from a noose would be much high up his neck).

When he was in the straight jacket at the pig pen he only had eyes for Will. Understanding that despite the fact that Will could easily dispose of him, it is still not the reckoning he was promised. So its only a matter of time until that happens. Its part of the reason I think he ledt Will unconscious while abducting Mason. A lot of season 2 is about the pull between Will and Hannibal I think.

The culmination of that tug of war leads to the first time that Hannibal is let down. It was a loss of control over his emotions, after all, one cannot help with who they fall in love with. He thought that Will would join his side, or kill him. Instead he had to deal with Jack Crawford in his kitchen. Hannibal smelled the betrayal on Will’s skin and gave him a choice. But what Hannibal couldn't see was Will trying to sort out his affairs, asking Freddie to not write about Abigail, to only write about him. I think Will was getting ready to leave with him, but unfortunately due to Jack it was taken from him in the form of a knife wound. Gutting him in the literal sense compared to the emotional gutting Hannibal received.

I think the second time he is let down is around the time that Will decides that he doesn't want to know where Hannibal is. Will went to forgive Hannibal, to see if he could love him, even if he wasn't aware of the love he carried just yet. And he was met with a bone saw and the promise of having his brain eaten. Will had enough, but Hannibal thought they could move on from it. I think that Hannibal knew that despite the fact that Will said he was cutting ties, that he didn't mean it. It's really hard to tell, but Will isn't making eye contact. And I think that's really telling.

I think that part of the reason that Hannibal gives himself up in front of Will is to show that he doesn't need all the trappings, just Will's regard. Its a cheap shot, but it clearly works. He seems to grow into his ability to roll with how his love for Will makes him feel. Reveling in the unpredictable nature of it and the man who causes it. I do believe Hannibal when he said he has found Will in his mind palace, victorious. Even if its just a shade of the man he desires. Which is why I agree that the S2 finale was much more rife with trauma for them both.

I am going to stop rambling now before this turns into a dissertation oh my god

#hannibal #sansnom #i fucking rambled oh my jesus

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misqnon · 14 days

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do u ever get scared that maybe im lying to u about who i am... i wouldnt do that but i feel like if i had an anon that came off anon and revealed themself i would think "is it really u"... im not rly doing myself any favors by planting this idea in ur head but i want to know if u have thought abt it or not

SOMETIMES THAT IS HOW I AM.. not usually with zosan bc theyre not actually enemies.. theyre more like . rivals who argue a lot (and sometimes they try to kill each other for fun). but when its two characters who like.. idk.. killed each others families for example. i am thinking "get revenge.. kill them.. get revenge... revenge...." and revenge is NOT making out . revenge is NOT getting into a relationship..

ive never written any ship .. fanfic. so i dont think i could confidently write hanyagellan. i should though.. i should learn to write multiple characters. actually up until like. last month. i had never read fanfic that wasnt x reader. wait no thats wrong i HAD but it was characters i didnt know and purely bc i was bored. anyways if i am obsessed with fictional characters its usually bc i want to date them. and the ones i dont like like that r just blorbos, and i dont ship them with anyone. my first times actually shipping characters were basically.. me finding out phoenix wright and maya fey dont get together (i thought they were canon for some reason).. and it means its ok to ship wrightworth. and then enjoying satosugu content, a lot. both happened in the past 6 months or so

im actually kind of thinking kidd might have his time to shine in the next arc??? i wont say why but.. anyways heres hoping .

its mentioned one time in sabaody i think. that they have killed innocent civilians. and when i was rereading i was like "WOAH WAIT WHAT???? THE GUYS I FELL IN LOVE WITH ARE JUST REGULAR MURDERERS??" it was . a shocking moment. for sure. i filtered it out the first time bc i didnt really know kidd that well at the time. but NOW.. now... its different. ok wait i found the image

it doesnt change how much i like them but it is kinda a wake up call.. like thats right.. theyre... bad guys...

maybe marineford traumatized oda /j. like he had to go a while without his perverted cook and hot ladies and when he got them back he had the sanji reaction. maybe sanji is just his self insert. his reaction to being able to draw women again is sniffing them and bleeding out because of them

i have had a few moments where i really liked (mackenyu) zoro. when he smiled, once, i was like WOW ??? HELLO??? I LOVE U ... and then it was Gone.. i just need the silly guy to be silly. either way his action scenes are fantastic like. huge kudos to mackenyu for that. "zoro’s characterization seems to be one of the major criticisms ive seen across the board so maybe they’ll lighten him up for season 2." I HOPE SO!!! its not like hes doing an awful job or anything, im just sad abt the way the character has gone. make him smile a little more and joke around a little more and i will be happy as a clam or whatever that saying is. also excited for whatever the zoro saying fuck scene is.. i dont really notice cussing most of the time in media so i hope it doesnt slip past me

i heard koby's actor is trans?? i was very happy to hear that. excited for whenever we see him again in water 7 and hes all grown up. assuming the show goes for long enough to reach that point

actually i Did draw a fem sanji that i am willing to share bc its not too bad,, here u go. not like i did anything crazy with the design. its just sanji with boobs and longer hair.. and no facial hair. and also theres no obligation to do anything back. bc i was gonna draw fem sanji anyways. im only showing u bc i like u /p >:) otherwise it would never see the light of day

"luffy trying to pronounce the name of someone he doesnt care about be like" im so flattered to be compared to luffy HAHA even if its about his awful ability to remember names

"once i tried to see if there was some kind of website or plug in or tool to put in your email address and find any accounts linked to it so i could delete them but i didnt really find what i was looking for which is crazy." ive never thought to do that, but the fact there was nothing is so??? like dont other people have this issue?? idk if i have any really crazy websites i was on.. its more like the stuff i did when i had those accounts is crazy LOL

"blissful ignorance" fr. best to just ignore ur problems

"BUT I REMEMBERED THAT RUMIKO AT ONE POINT MENTIONED LIKING USAGI DROP AND I WAS LIKE. its so jover you guys" NOO THATS SO BAD... mangaka's please stop ruining ur characters and stories.. please........

"the nyan cat creator is actually here on tumblr lmao" THATS SO COOL.. time to see if they talk about it at all..

"also the vocaloid oliver voices puppycat in bee and puppycat! and a vocaloid song actually mde it into a MARVEL MOVIE??" I HEARD ABT THAT AND LIKE?? MARVEL... MARVEL... THE BIGGEST MOVIE FRANCHISE.. YEAH.... THATS INSANE..

"i could link my vocaloid megaplaylist but its. long." u should anyways .. if ur comfortable. the playlist i used most often to listen to music.. for years.. is 83 hours long. and it was just every single thing i liked. so. just letting u know the extent of how Not Picky i am

"i had one of the most fun times of my life lmao. i was JAMMIN." it sounds like a lot of fun!!! i hope kikuo comes back... so i can go see them... as. an actual fan next time .

"i think 90% of what oda says should be ignored LMAO. MY STORY NOW!! half joking. maybe a little more than half." Exactly!!! exactly!!! although i think his choice to not have any romance was a very good one so i will thank him for that.

"when the live action cast talks about how much they respect him and how cool meeting and talking to him was i almost feel bad bc he seems like a kind and goofy guy a lot of the time, but oof, man really needs to evaluate his biases…" I KNOW,, ME TOO. i saw uh.. iñaki ? meet him . and like.. man.. he seemed so happy. i love the guy. but it is tainted by my knowledge of who oda is.

i do also sometimes purposely bury posts.. im sorry u have to deal with the knowledge that i might see the things u dont want people to see .. also i will go ham spamming u since i have permission now. (im overhyping myself. i will probably spam a normal amount)

i actually resisted tiktok extremely well until like . 2022? maybe? and now ...i am addicted. im not actually but i AM on there a lot.

i think i was like 11? maybe? when i saw the impel down scene with iva . and i was still in denial about being trans for a while after that (i dont know what was going on in my child brain bc i came out as genderfluid 3 times at 11 12 and 13 i think. (i forgot each time. yeah.) and yet i was still like "nah im not trans.. thats not possible") and actually i made a fursona (without admitting it was a fursona. it was just an animal and i said "actually this is me...") and i made THEM genderfluid.. and while making it i was like . "no.. me?? im not genderfluid... but u can be. ur allowed to be ." anyways just a big tangent to say iva thank u for helping me accept myself it was a very long and confusing process but finally... i have a vague understanding of who i am...

i don't think oda would answer me but he HAS said multiple times that he reads every single letter he gets (thats been approved by.. idk.. his manager or something?). imagine being immortalized in sbs though.. i think it would be funnier to be trans and not ask a question involving it at all and when ur question gets answered u can come out and say "whats up suckers actually this was me. i bet u wish u were me huh." . idk, i will do anything to get back at transphobes...

"and iva is apparently based not only on dr frankenfurter but also a drag queen he knew irl?" i heard. i heard that the voice actor for iva IS the person iva is based on . and that he was arrested actually... for .. posting "indecent images" online. i thought that meant nudes but apparently he was just trying to show he has tattoos. on his lower half. and then he had to step down as a voice actor

'sometimes i think about how bon clay’s jacket just says "OKAMA” on the back and it can. sometimes be considered a slur?' i go back and forth a lot on how i feel abt the use of okama in one piece. like on one hand yeah,, queer people do use their own slurs. but sometimes its too much... like.. sometimes i feel weirdly targeted by it. i think part of that is probably bc ive had slurs used against me as slurs but. anyways he doesnt have to use it in EVERY SENTENCE describing a queer person.. right.. like we do have just regular descriptors besides "queer".. but then i have other times I'm like hell yeah!!! queer people!!!!! and i love that they use that word. idk. consistency is not my strong suit.

"2gether we can remember the fishman royal family LMAO." perfect. a team effort.

i dont remember exactly what noah is supposed to be , theyre a little vague about it (probably on purpose) but i do remember them talking about the dawn of the world quite a bit. the poneglyph in the fishman island arc is i think an apology to joy boy. and roger is involved bc he could hear the voices of the neptunians, like luffy can

the only layer of ur comic i understand is the horses sadly... once again my lack of knowledge rears its ugly head..

"i can see him doing this but only to zoro. to piss him off." either zoro wouldnt notice or he would and it would definitely turn into another fight. wait those are just the only two possible courses of action..

"usopp’s in on it probably" thank u. i feel like this was for me. even if it wasn't. thank u.

u can be.. uh.... judge of sanji... no maybe not.. that just reminds me of vinsmoke judge..

i have never understood powerscaling. i have a very slight understanding of what it is but. like. i dont know how thats fun.. for people... i have always enjoyed stories more when theyre focused on characters and settings rather than action. i love a good fight but it is nowhere near my priority. part of the reason i love dressrosa so much is cuz they have that stupid (/lh) moment where everyone starts working together to push back the birdcage. makes me cry every time.

anyways yeah i do think zoro is meant to be stronger. i think its kinda lame cuz the sanji and zoro rivalry, where theyre constantly on equal levels but hate to admit it, is fun. but at the same time i dont think i would mind if zoro was declared second in command and therefore became the stronger one. perhaps thats just my zoro bias showing though. making zoro 1 cm taller is VERY funny .. u know he would use that against sanji.. with the way he constantly lorded over people (sanji especially) that he was the first person to get to sabaody

"its the crack cocaine" this may be controversial.. but i would think that would STUNT their growth /lh. big mom as a child was like the same size as her parents. but with the proportions of a child. and once again i am faced with the question of . do huge characters come out normal sized and then just have insane growth spurts.. or.. the other, scary option: they come out huge. but their parents r usually normal sized... imagining that is terrifying

i like to try to form my own opinions and theories bc i think its fun but.. some ppl are just way smarter than me at reading characters. how do they do that!! the fact u were reading character analysis as a kid is impressive tho bc i was definitely in my "characters are only either evil or good" stage for a loooonnggg time.

u commiting hard vs me having commitment issues. who would win. thank u for excusing sanuso its the only sanji ship i actually like. I'm picky too and. sometimes i just hate a ship for no particular reason. i have tried to analyze myself but i cant figure it out

"i will do you one better and give u a link to the SBS + a translator who looked at the question." THATS PERFECT THANK U

i dont think i can meet oda halfway....

idk if this is popular or not but the reasoning ive seen behind trans zoro is that he took kuinas sword after she died, which is like. a metaphor for leaving behind his pre transition self. n i like that connection a lot. but also zoro as a transmasc is just fun..

also a while ago?? u reacted to zoro not hurting uhh the bird lady on punk hazard. i saw that when i was looking through ur liveblogging.. tags. and i wanted to say that. that made me really angry too LOL . like i expected better from u.. ur supposed to be the one who gives equal treatment no matter what. but then. partially for my own sanity. i started thinking that maybe he didnt actually hurt her not bc shes a lady,,, but because he doesnt like to hurt weak people. he has had a lot of moments where he's shown to protect weak people specifically, regardless of gender.

these comments.. helped me see the light (i hope theyre readable)

if oda does make him into the type of guy who protects women for being women. i might go insane. he had that moment in skypeia where robin got hurt and he was like "shes a woman" as if that makes any difference how strong she is or how easy an opponent should go on her. and wait i see ur point about the characters not acting like their own established .. character... i see it..

if ur interested here are my thoughts from the punk hazard moment. upon reread. i didnt remember it happened because i wiped it from my brain so my anger was just as intense as the first time LOL

tw for violent language and cussing

ok huge tangent aside

that summary from the zosan fic is so good. they r both trans . hell yeah.

i havent seen the matilda movie!! i havent read the books either. i do see ppl talk abt them a lot though and i have been meaning to give it a try. i like danny devito. i love theatre!! havent really seen many shows . especially not high production ones. but i was in theatre in middle and high school. thats Right im a theatre kid. except i was part of the backstage crew and never wanted to do acting.. no one talks about crew it makes me sad

i love trans family frobin and chopper. zoro is also definitely choppers big brother. i disagree with the popular headcanon of him being choppers dad. they r brothers.

i do not have any favorite creators tbh. im very non commital so i will usually only have videos i like or art i like or . yeah . i do have a few recurring one piece artists i reblog though? i think? (all on tumblr.. i dont really use social media). so let me get those for u,,,

attyattlaw

fluffyartbl0g

kiashieart

huyandere (shuggy my beloved)

and honestly i think thats it? i was mostly using tumblr for kpop content until very recently so i dont have much that is. one piece centered.. most of my interests are very different from each otherr,,,

never know how to end asks so here is how i feel about law

i feel like i am not popular enough for that to happen but . but

fear

okay yea thats valid. i dont think ive actually come across any enemies ships like that…i mean im sure i HAVE but i dont think i have shipped any?? well. well no thats not true. but. i was 14 and also stupid

my favorite characters are almost always characters i have a fictional crush on AND one of the half of my favorite ship…this probably says something about me but im choosing to ignore it. i dont know a lot about ace attorney but do phoenix and miles not have some sort of rivalry as well?? or do they become buddies by the end

someone told me they think kidd is gonna be king of the pirates?? did i say that before. i dont know why they think this but that in combination with u thinking he’ll get more screentime is. compelling

JDFBDSKS WOOPS !! its ok…luffy will reform them,..sometimes i think oda writes a character being terrible and then if it was long enough ago we just forget about it and pretend its ok. like.remember how franky beat the SHIT out of usopp AND robbed him and that was never really addressed aside from a few lines and he just joined the crew and has been a happy goofy guy since. i do. i MEAN ZORO ALSO WAS JUST MURDERING PPL FOR BOUNTIES BEFORE HE JOINED THE CREW and then luffy was like hey. stop that. and so he did and we dont talk about it much LMAO

I KNOW SANJI GOTTA BE HIS SELF INSERT. im sure he inserts himself in many of the characters but sanji hardcore. this video talks a lot about it. including how oda’s signature has sanji’s eyebrow swirl. also i think that is why sanji sucks so much and i want to beat him to death with hammers . who said that

YEA MACKENYU IS LIKE. SO PRETTY. HI MACKENYU,..HI. i think what bothered me most is that (esp pre ts) zoro was a very angry and loud character. he laughs loudly, he yells when he’s mad, he gets those big silly angry faces oda draws all the time. he’s quieter post ts but when he gets mad he still gets Loud yanno. zoro is boisterous. but opla zoro is always talking at Edgy Cool Boy Mumble. for reference the fuck is about buggy. which is so funny

koby’s actor IS trans!! i really like the casting they’ve gone with. For doing their races right, first of all, and also for things like giving koby’s role to a trans actor even though they didnt “have to”. and also i will now HC koby as trans thank u matt owens. i doubt they’ll get to water 7 (i think they might like. finish alabasta. and thats it. personally) but i mean WHO KNOWS.

TRANS SANJI….OH MY GOD HI,,, HELLO MA’AM…GOD I WISH SHE WAS REAL. ODA…COWARD!!! YOU PUT HIM ON FORCE FEMME ISLAND AND IT DIDNT EVEN WORK /j

thank you for showing me!! :D

i think there were SOME options but they either required an account or cost money or didnt do the whole job so i kinda gave up. it is weird bc that seems like a very useful tool in this day and age

here…here is my vocaloid megaplaylist…it…pretty much is just every vocaloid song i liked. there’s a couple vocaloid-adjacent songs in there too. enjoy

i actually really like making playlists for ppl (vocaloid or otherwise) so if u ever want a more. condensed playlist of something. let me know!

kikuo is already doing more stuff in the u.s. so i bet he will come back!! i hope he does i spent like $50 on his merch so like I FUNDED IT

inaki meeting oda WAS very sweet imo…some people have said it seemed fake/forced but i didnt get that vibe at all. and oda does seem like a nice and funny person like. in real life. but again I KNOW WHAT U FUCKING THINK IN UR BRAIN…nuance and al that i guess.

i literally reblogged a nsfw comic the other day (it was a joke comic, but still) and i was like i will bury this. and queue it for 1 am. i am so safe. AND NOW I DO NOT FEEL SAFE!! im joking i dont care that much. but tumblr why

how did you…how did u forget u were gendrfluid 3 times…actually. actually im REALLY bad about putting a label on my gender so i cant talk. i used to say “girl with a little agender on the side” or something and then went by demigirl kinda for a while? and then people would ask my gender and i’d be like “idk its whatever man” and my friends would go “i thought u were a demigirl?” and id be like OH FUCK OH YEA but now its evolved and i still dont have a name for it. im one of those ‘no labels’ people now but only bc i dont feel like looking into it more. lazy moment. and labels feel too definitive.

u should do that actually. a couple of his sbs people have gotten pretty popular for frequent comments i think. also I DIDNT KNOW THAT ABOUT IVA VA??? WHAT THE FUCK

PFFT dont worry about not understanding the comic its fairly niche. the song lyrics are from this song (very explicit btw. also a bop imo) and the “lipsync for your life” bit is a reference to rupauls drag race when the queens have to perform to a song to not get eliminated. and i like to imagine iva put sanji through many a gay time

“wait those are the only two possible courses of action..” I USE THAT SAME PHRASE A LOT AND ACCIDENTALLY DO THAT SAME THING EVERY TIME LMAO

fuck…but it would work so well with my gavel…damn it…im uh uh…magistrate of sanji, (i literally googled judge synonyms for this. and also it made me think about that one vocaloid song where kaito is a judge)

i rlly dont care about powerscaling and i have never looked into it and never will. i actually really do like cool fights but in anime they always get dragged out SOO long and then im just pissed cause i care more about the plot and characters. i prefer the idea of them being perfectly matched for multiple reasons but i guess we’ll never know…probably. idk im still waiting on that death pact thing to come back

u make a good point. about the cocaine. maybe it has to do with haki/willpower. tbh i can see that. the powerful guys are always taller. i think oda just wants them to be intimidating but if we want an in canon explanation…its cause theyre so damn AMBITIOUS !!

i was reading character analysis as a kid but i also thought characters could only be one or the other for way too long. bisexuality of man or whatever

what other ships do i like…i like zosan. obviously. i like dofuwani for similar reasons but I WAS LIED TO AND SHIPPED IT BEFORE I MET THEM AND THOUGHT THEY INTERACTED WAY MORE..OH WELL. i like nami/vivi and kaya/usopp!! and frobin!! buggy and shanks can be cute too. but i dont really CARE much about any of them except zosan. any luffy ship be gone from my sight for aroace reasons. wait add hannyagellan

im ngl hannyagellan is like a funny joke ship to me but if it becomes one of those crack ships u acciddentally get attached to im gonna be so mad (i wont be mad itll be really funny)

ive never heard that but i like that interpretation. god. i think about kuina a lot. i miss her. this is so stupid but i was listening to “slipping through my fingers” by abba and makin amvs in my head of zoro losing kuina and shit…embrassing. and also made me emo.

hm…im torn on the punk hazard stuff. to me it def felt like a woman thing esp after that comment about robin in skypiea. i think it goes against zoro’s character esp considering UHH KUINA but its yet another symptom of oda’s own biases bleeding into the work. but i would have to watch it again and consider it being a weakness thing. though i feel like he’s had weak men challenge him before that he didnt make a big deal out of not fighting. or maybe i just feel like if it was a guy he wouldnt hesitate as much…im blanking on evidence

2 OUT OF 3 OF MY ROOMATES IN COLEGE WERE ON TECH CREW HAHAHA they told me about it and made me appreciate it!! i love theatre a lot. i want to go see more. thats the only one ive ever seen and its bc it was for a school trip. my favorite musical ever is cabaret and i watched it all on youtube in several parts jdfnvkfjn (the 1990’s run with alan cumming) i could have been a theatre kid if i was less shy i think.

I AGREE ZORO IS CHOPPERS BROTHER. THANK U. although if we’re talking crew dynamics overall i do not think robin is a mother. she is 100% a cool aunt. and actually not that responsible when it comes to wrangling luffy and crew. franky’s a dad but he’s not THEIR dad. he’s just a dad coded guy who they’re friends with. jinbei gives grandfather even though hes only in his 40’s. brook is weird uncle. nami is a mom. sanji is also a mom. zoro is a big brother and usopp and luffy and chopper are little brothers.

i made my irl friend get on tungle and she also uses it for kpop purposes lmao. i know very little about kpop but she likes ateez…my other friend likes stray kids…i had a friend who liked shinee and i liked one of their songs…i like a few bts songs…but i will never join that fandom (sorry mack if ur reading this)

i think in terms of like one piece videos i like melonteee, totally not mark, mugiwara no goofy (for laughs) and also these two guys who just shitpost and its really funny

one piece artists,,,so many. wellfine is a big one…i love when ppl draw sanji with a hooked nose and lots of body hair. bluechanas…demonzoro…chvvy…that translation blog i linked earlier. i actually have a lot more but i realized a lot of them are just zosan and i didnt want to subject you to . all that 🧍LMAO. WAIT I FORGOT ONE. THEMETALHIRO. THEIR COMICS ARE SO FUNNY ALL THE TIME

i feel the need to ask a one piece question but i cant think of one rn. uh. uh. do u have any questions. or discussions to start. its ok if u dont!!

also p.s. there is never any pressure to watch any of the videos i link it is more for a sourcing purpose unless u actively want to watch them

I HAVE THAT EXACT IMAGE SAVED IN MY CAMERA ROLL LMAO. to end off here are some of my best (worst) sanji images

#asks #replies #long post #march anon

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spicycowboyhole · 4 months

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taking a shower tomorrow

i didnt get much for christmas this year tbh

im kinda jealouse cuz my siblings got really expensive shit and i got like pretty much just stocking stuffers lol. i guess if i really want something i need to get it myself huh

anyway,, he texts me constantly but also calls me everyday. hes so nice to me it makes me cry. H is nice to me too. when i think about how nice these internet strangers are to me it makes me sad because i feel like im not allowed to be myself and im not accepted at home. im so afraid to be myself here and i dont feel like i fit in but when i talk to the little people in my phone?? they make me feel things? like im not crazy or weird OH MY GOD istg i cry almost everytime i talk to him cuz hes soso nice to me

idk what it is or what i wanna say exactly i kinda just wanna figure out how to word this so ik how to tell my couonselor.

what happened recently was i went to walmart with my dad and like i didnt take a shower or anything cuz we were just going to applebees and walmart and i dont even like applebees so who cares if my hair is fucked up right but when we went to walmart my dad was like you need a makeover cuz ur hair is bad and i kinda took offense honestly cuz i dont like my dad making comments about my appearence like this one time he told me i "need to work on my glamour" like wtf so i told my mom what he said to me at walmart and she AGREED WITH HIM AND SCHEDULED A DAY TO TAKE ME TO THE MALL TO BUY CLOTHES. and then so we went like on firday before christmas and it just kinda made me feel like a child and also like i was neglected when i was an actual child cuz idk i have like a lot of self image issues and i just wear whatever makes me not hate how i look and rn thats big skirt and little shirt but my mom wants me to wear jeans and regular shirt and i just think i look so bad in it. like she wanted me to get 5 outfits at the mall and i was like "so we're just gonna buy 5 pairs of the ssame pants? what if i dont even wear them?" and she said "YOU HAVE TO" so after that i felt kinda belittled? basically like i had no power or say in what im allowed to wear like A KID. BUT when i was an actual kid i would litterally go to school and my shoes would fall apart and i used the same ugly backpack from like 6th til highschool. like i dont understand why my parents suddenly care about how i look? now that im an adult? theyr ebasically saying they dont like how i dress and that upsets me because i feel like im finally able to learn how to express myself with how i dress now that im not inschool and scared of how people might percieve me and theyre judging not just how i look but also me yk

i NEVER got compliments when i was younger. i mean definatelelty not as much as i do now that im not as afraid of being myself. i mean people compliment me on my hair, my outfits, my glasses, my voice.

IM SMART, IM FUNNY, IM SILLY, IM WITTY, IM CUTE, IM PRETTY

IM GOOD

my hwole life everyone would describe me as quiet, shy. i thought i was weird, abnormal, i thought everything i liked was stupid.

i think i just need to get out of here.

its so hard to not hate myself when everyone around me sucks.

again, self image issues, insecurity, shame. when i was younger i used to hide pictures of myself cuz i just thought i looked so ugly and i still do. i'll look at those old pictures and think why would my parents let me go out in public like that? like ive always thought i was only cute as a toddler and then went downhill after that lol. but anyway im working on that by saving pics of myself when i was younger cuz thats me!! and if i were my parent i wouldve been a way better parent than my actual ones. she deserves everything she wants.

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dorefasolsido · 7 months

Text

18.

Have you stayed up past 3 in the morning this week?

Of course, I can't remember last time I didn't.

What was on the last sandwich you had?

It's been so long since I had a sandwich that I don't recall.

What does the soap you use smell like?

I guess they all smell kind of soapy? I like when they don't have any particular scent, just that freshness.

Do you prefer to wrap gifts or use gift bags?

I use gift bags usually because it's faster, but I actually love wrapping gifts. I suck at it, but idk, feels more personal that way.

The last person you spoke to, do you know their eye color?

Yes, light brown.

Does anyone you know have their hair bleached?

My mum, me.

When you're on the phone, do you doodle?

If it's a really long call, I might.

Is there anyone you know by the name of Frank?

Nope.

Do you own a trenchcoat?

Nope.

Name the hardiest piece of technology you own?

Uhh, well I'm not about to test that.

Have you ever written with a pen that had pink ink?

Surely when I was younger.

Do you remember the last thing you took a picture of?

I actually have no idea.

From where you're sitting, can you turn the lights off?

Nope.

When was the last time you accidentally slept in?

For the weekend sometimes I sleep longer than I expect.

Tell me the last thing you searched on the internet?

Something related to work, researching a topic.

The last argument you had, who started it?

I honestly don't know who I argued with last.

Do you wear a ring on your left hand middle finger?

Nope.

Are you currently in a smoking environment?

My sister vapes here, but no, no one smokes.

Can you remember the title of the song you last sang aloud?

Mikrokosmos by BTS.

If a stranger smiles at you, do you smile back?

I would like to, but it's more likely that I get so confused I don't react in any way lol.

Tell me the current time?

3:04 AM

Are you currently listening to music through earphones?

Not right now.

What color shirt are you wearing? Is it your favorite color?

White. No, but it's a good colour for clothes.

Do you own a pair of rubber boots?

Nope.

Have you ever owned a tire swing?

Nope, we had a regular one.

Does anyone you know own a bird that can talk?

Hmm, no.

What make-up are you wearing currently, if any?

Nothing right now.

Name one thing you are glad you accomplished today?

Actually finished the article I was hoping to complete. I was so uninspired that I thought I wouldn't be able to, but halfway through inspiration hit and I did it. Thank God, less to do over the weekend.

Name one thing you wished you accomplished today but didn't?

I wanted to go for a run, but I came home from the street food festival way too late.

Have you ever been afraid to call someone, even if you knew them well?

Yes, all the time. Thank you, social anxiety, for making basic human interactions so difficult. I'm doing better now, but phone calls are still the one thing that I avoid like the plague.

Do you ever not speak to someone because you're afraid you'll annoy them?

Yes, refer to the comment above lol

Is there any drama going on in your circle of friends?

Not really. It's more so that we barely ever have time for each other.

Have you ever known a guy who caused a lot of drama?

I've known plenty of guys who cause drama.

Is there anyone you know who wears their hair in pigtails regularly?

Nope.

Personally, do you think you have a nice smile?

It's alright.

Do you have a nervous twitch?

Nope.

Have you ever taken care of a drunk friend?

No, nor am I a good person to have around in such situations. I'm terrified of vomiting and just the idea it might happen around me makes me want to run away and never return. Even just typing the word is uncomfortable.

How about a hungover friend?

Nope.

Does the idea of snowpeaked mountains and a large lake sound appealing?

Mm yes.

Pick any number that has personal significance to you?

11. I want to get it tattooed on my wrist.

Have you ever lost your luggage at an airport?

Well, sorta. During a very short transit period in Poland, my luggage got left behind when I jumped onto the plane to Lithuania. I ended up getting it a few days later.

What's your opinion on people who go hunting for sport?

I don't like that whole idea.

Have you ever been on a rollercoaster that actually scared you?

No, I love rollercoasters. So far they've all been great!

Do you know anyone who can fluently speak more than two languages?

Yeah, a few people.

The last person who texted you, have you ever fought with them?

Oh for sure.

How many windows are open on your computer right now?

Just this one.

Do you have a fairly fast or slow internet connection?

It's pretty good, actually.

Have you ever gone in a sauna?

Nope.

Out of these colors, which appeals most to you: orange, blue, or green?

Blue.

Have you celebrated your birthday yet this year?

I have, unfortunately.

Is there anything you're saving up for?

Hmm, not strictly, but I want to travel to Japan one day. So I should start saving for that.

Has anyone ever been prejudiced towards you?

Yes, because of my nationality once or twice.

Are you taller than most of your friends?

No, I think I'm one of the shortest people in my friend circle.

Know anyone with a really annoying laugh?

Hmmm no one comes to mind.

Have you ever punched someone and broke their nose?

Nope.

What is the longest time you have gone without sleep?

Probably 36+ hours. Never full two days, but more than a day for sure.

Have you ever been someplace tropical?

Nope.

If given the opportunity, would you act in a commercial?

Absolutely not.

You see an ant on the ground, do you squish it?

Nooooo, I love ants.

Have you ever baked a pie?

Nope.

What is your favorite social networking site?

Instagram, probably.

Who was the last person to call you?

My sister.

Does anyone in your family tell funny stories?

My uncle's a pretty good story teller.

Do you believe in finders keepers in most situations?

Not always. Like, if you find someone's wallet, you should try to return it.

Is there a war memorial where you live?

Not in this neighbourhood, but otherwise yes.

Has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars?

Well, my great grandpa was fighting in WW1 or WW2. Not sure in which one right now.

Would you make any changes to your current bedroom?

Maybe personalize it a bit more, but I'm in no rush.

Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you?

No, but once a stray dog randomly grabbed my bag (I had only textbooks in it) and started pulling. I pulled for a bit, but I was so flabbergasted that I just let go. Then it ran away with my bag and I just stood there like wtf just happened. But some boys saw that whole thing go down, so they helped me retrieve my bag.

Long story short, I was never bitten by a stray dog, but I was robbed by one.

When riding a bus, do you prefer to sit up front, down back or the middle?

In the back.

Have you ever been on a cross-country train ride?

No, it would take forever with our trains and I don't know if it's possible anyway. I would love to try it abroad tho.

Are you normally a person to tell people off?

Not normally, but I'm trying to improve in that regard.

Name an object that most would consider odd that's special to you?

My brain is honestly too fried to think of something odd right now lol

What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn't have?

An owl.

Do you currently have any bugbites?

Maybe just some mosquito bites.

Is where you live on a boulevard, road, street, or avenue?

A street.

Is there currently any caffeine in your system?

I don't think so.

Look around, are things organized?

Mostly, though there is a bit of chaos here and there.

Is there any TV show that ended that you wish hadn't?

Attack on Titan didn't exactly end, I guess, but it's almost over. And as a manga reader, the story ended for me long ago and sometimes I really miss it.

Know what you're planning to do after this?

Go to sleeeeep. Goodnight!

#survey #personal #its 3am

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