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#is this an overly serious response? probably
quakinqueer · 2 days
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This whole situation is so overblown its insane. People are interperting his words as being passive agressive when he is very obviously confused and scared. Also you thinking he is going to victimise himself says a lot about how you already felt about him before this whole thing. But he is gonna prove you wrong by owning up to it.
Genuinely found this a little amusing so I wanted to respond to it. Got a little yappy with it, woops.
"This whole... overblown it's insane"
while I do agree that some folks on twt are taking it too far with hating on him, I also think the majority are rightfully holding him accountable for some very stupid things he did, and that the people defending him are actually acting significantly more abhorrent and disrespectful, calling the op of the original tweet slurs and sending them death threats. THAT is insane, overblown, and frankly disgusting, not the people expressing anger and disappointment with him, a public figure, for severely mishandling a serious situation.
"... when he is very obviously confused and scared."
I- confused and scared??? geez what is he a cornered puppy? He's a grown ass adult man who should know better than to immediately act on emotion like that. I will however take into account that he is ND, and that affects your impulse control and how you process your emotions. I'll also acquiesce that many of his initial responses do read to me as panicked, knee-jerk responses, and that he wasn't entirely thinking straight when he reacted that way. But to call this grown, adult, privileged white man who frankly had and has all the power in this situation "confused and scared" all because of some online discourse and Twitter dogpiling is downright silly.
I'll be the first to admit he's probably extremely stressed, honestly I personally suspect he probably had something close to a panic attack around when this was happening (just my speculation). That doesn't mean that he didn't mess up. That doesn't erase the effect his impertinence had on op and the community. I'm just hoping once he's had time to calm down, he'll handle this better.
"Also you thinking he is going to victimise himself says a lot about how you already felt about him before this whole thing."
This was the funniest part to me. I'm just gonna leave some screenshots of tweets I made as the situation was happening.
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Hope this gives you all you need to know.
And lastly: "But he is gonna prove you wrong by owning up to it."
My brother (or sibling) in Allah, that's all I could possibly want. That is quite literally all I'm hoping for. The reason I was so cynical in that draft is because I don't want to get my hopes up or raise my expectations too high, if only to avoid any extra hurt. Putting someone on a pedestal and idealizing reality is what got me in this whole overly-emotional, devastated state that I'm in currently. I want to believe in him so badly, I just don't want to be let down again.
We'll see how it goes.
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banned-for-horny · 4 months
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why do people wanna hurt Robin so badly??
i'm trying to understand it, but i can't. he can be annoying at times, sure, but he's one of the least annoying LIs in my opinion. sure, Robin not getting a real job and having to pay for him is a hassle, but you don't have to have him as an LI if you really don't want to, and still keep him safe--just don't raise his "lust" stat high enough to trigger the scene.
no genuine hate towards anyone who dislikes Robin, i'm just trying to understand why y'all would wanna go so far as to drag him down to the UB with you, just to watch and make him suffer. it just confuses me.
I'm gonna put on my serious hat for this one just because I think it's an important topic that extends not only to my personal takes on characters but also the common trend of "because you do this immoral act, you must endorse it in real life!" that is in a lot of fandoms. This fandom is still relatively small and maybe I'm preaching to the choir, but still, it feels like a message I need to put out there sometimes.
Especially when new people keep joining.
Before I go on my tangent, I'll just sum it up as "it's fictional, do whatever you want."
How a character responds to suffering is fascinating and sometimes just a fun way to explore their personality. How do they respond to having their life on the line or their individuality stripped away? How does Robin act based on their level of confidence? As for people who avidly dislike Robin, it's their opinion and they have the right to that.
Now, personally, I adore Robin. Love Robin. All of my mutuals can vouch for that.
I also like angst and suffering. A lot. I think it's fun and considering what DoL is as a game, it's entertaining. I sent Robin's ass to the UB because I wanted to see the scenes and how they are compared to being there alone, and I wanted to see Robin crack like a lil egg. High Confidence Robin is very entertaining and I love him.
I also imagine people who hate Robin would do the same shit. Idk, I'm not a Robin hater. I have sent Kylar's ass to prison multiple times, though. I also have a friend who despises Whitney and always chooses to send them to the UB during their dismissal event. The one time they didn't, they beat Whitney's ass so often that their dominance stat literally disappeared from their tabs.
If it's not your thing to put your little guys through Hell, then that's perfectly fine!
But as someone who actively went out of his way to go collect alll Robin's Punishments and UB scenes (which is under #sorry robin if anyone is curious lol), you can see where my stance lies. It's just fun. Harmless fictional fun.
In summary.
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autogeneity · 2 months
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I would like to develop a sort of externally-apparent idk...robustness/girth/gravitas to my personality. I feel I am not the sort of person someone would rely upon for anything, or seek advice from, or consider for leadership, say. in general it seems like there is a lack of respectability. I don't think I necessarily lack the requisite traits intrinsically but my presentation (in terms of mannerisms and such) makes me out to be something of a fool at times I fear
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mstase · 5 months
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🤱🏻 Moon & Mother
the moon in your birth chart can offer insights into the mother’s personality and your relationship with her ~ 🌙
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SUN-MOON: your mother is confident and direct, likely pushing you to toughen up and build confidence, shaping your identity and the way you carry yourself. however, this encouragement may come across as controlling, as she may have a specific image or standard she wants you to meet. this could create tension as you navigate between fulfilling her expectations and developing your own individuality. at times, she might seem arrogant and boastful, adding complexity to the dynamic
MERCURY-MOON: your mother is talkative, expressive, and enjoys logical discussions, but she can be critical, nitpicking, and lacks tact in communication. she values rationality over sensitivity and may often disregard or overlook your feelings. you might find yourself having frequent verbal arguments with her, but also chitchats. overall, her influence on you is significant, shaping how you think and communicate and likely instilling a preference for logic and directness.
VENUS-MOON: your mother is charming, sociable, and probably popular. her ability to effortlessly get her way into people has influenced you, leading you to believe that charm can make life smoother. despite your mother’s appealing qualities, there may be a two-faced and shallow side to her. your relationship with her is probably good, with few arguments, unless other aspects say otherwise. she played a significant role in shaping how you approach making connections and socializing.
MARS-MOON: your mother’s assertiveness and impatience, coupled with struggles in expressing emotions, likely resulted in frequent outbursts. her combative and defensive nature might have contributed to a home environment marked by conflicts and arguments. in response to this, you may have developed a heightened sense of alertness and the tendency to react quickly to diffuse or navigate such situations. your mother’s influence shaped the way you deal with emotions, leaning towards an aggressive approach
JUPITER-MOON: your mother is joyful, open-minded, and generous. however, her indulgent nature suggests a tendency to be overly lenient. your mother’s strong and dramatic reactions suggest that she responds intensely to various situations. perhaps she easily takes things personally and often makes small things a big deal. she may have influenced your wisdom, religious, and philosophical views, as well as your general outlook on life.
SATURN-MOON: your mother could have been emotionally guarded and strict, but she was also diligent and hardworking. early on in life, you were given a strong sense of responsibility, as your mother may have been preoccupied with her other duties. the bond between you two is serious and reserved, marked by limited displays of affection. growing up in an emotionally distant family taught you how to manage your emotions without support, which led you to develop emotional resilience.
URANUS-MOON: it seems that your mother exhibits moodiness and emotional distance, indicating a potential absence or distance in your relationship. childhood experiences marked by changes and unpredictability may have contributed to the inconsistency in your connection with her. despite this, she instilled in you a sense of independence and the ability to handle your own things. however, growing up, you may have likely felt like the odd one out in the family.
NEPTUNE-MOON: this can suggest that your mother may have been absent, either physically or emotionally, perhaps due to substance use or illness. another possibility is that she experienced abuse, and you had to bear the weight of her suffering, making you very sensitive to her emotions. despite your mother’s selflessness and compassion, there’s a deceptive side to her, meaning you might not have fully understood the true depth of her nature as you grew older.
PLUTO-MOON: your mother possesses a complex mix of traits, as she is both deeply loving and controlling. this can make you feel suffocated because she switches between being affectionate and dominating, showing strong and unpredictable emotions. it creates a storm in your relationship with her, sometimes leaving you confused as to why she acts that way. the power struggles you have with her add to the overwhelming feeling of conflicting forces in your relationship.
this is based on my observation & interpretation. take what resonates 💜 @mstase
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good-griief · 1 year
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already decided
i just had a lil thought ab protective!ellie, so in love w her gf she'd do anything to keep her safe
Ellie’s temper was as short as she was. She couldn’t manage it for the life of her, and when it came to you, she didn’t even try. 
“Are you some kind of fucking moron?!” She’d yelled at Jesse one day when you came back from patrol with a nasty scratch on your arm. 
“I fell—“
“Should’ve fucking caught her, Jesse—“
“Are you fucking insane?” He’d asked, earning a cartoonish shrug in response. “Broaden your vocabulary, Ellie.”
She then went on to say ‘fuck’ as many times as she could before Jesse walked away. 
If you didn’t shut her up, she’d probably end up flying off the handle— though, you couldn’t say those rare occasions were undeserved. When they were serious, there was always a reason; like when Maria spooked your horse and you fell off, the animal nearly breaking your arm before Ellie grabbed the reins. Or when you weren’t on full alert during a patrol, nearly got swarmed, and she had to get you out of the situation. 
There was always a reason any time she went overboard, but tonight was different; she never got this way.
There was a guy bothering you at the bar, continuously getting drinks and trying to talk to you despite you rejecting his advances. He was new, so you didn’t want to be harsh, but Ellie didn’t care about that at all. 
“Hey, can you back the fuck up off my girlfriend?” She asked, overly sweet, as she walked over to him, smiling despite how pissed off she was. You'd told her how uncomfortable you were after she came back from the bathroom, the man getting more bold with her gone and nearly making you want to follow after her or find Joel and Tommy. “She’s very clearly not fucking interested.”
You didn’t know what led to what you could hear next, as Ellie had been keeping quiet, making sure not to make a scene even if she knew how uncomfortable you were. That failed, though, when she punched the man square in the jaw, knocking his head into the bar and making him fall out of his barstool. “Fucking asshole!” Was all you heard when your head snapped over to her. She hit him again when he spat something at her, blood mixed in with snarled words that made her ram her fist into his eye socket so hard that she broke skin. “She’s not fucking interested. Got that?! Fucking creep. I fucking better not see you around her again, you fucking—!”
“Ellie!” Thankfully, Joel got to her before she could do anything more than knock him out, grabbing Ellie as you got up and rushed over while Joel dragged her out of the bar. 
“Did you hear what the fuck he said?!” Her gaze snapped to you when you opened the door and came out to meet them. Her angered expression, sewn together brows, flared nostrils, and sneered lips puffing harsh breaths of air, fell to concern immediately. “Did you?” You looked between them, frowning. “Did you hear what he said?”
“No, but are you—?“
“Good.” The sneer on her lip as she shook out her fist made you refrain from asking her what he said that caused her to react like that, taking her hand to look at her already bruising knuckles. “Should’ve fucking killed him. Fuck.”
“You want me to talk to Maria, El?” Joel asked, placing a hand on both your shoulders and squeezing. He knew how much you hated this, as it made you more anxious than anything, but he also knew Ellie was completely serious about killing the guy after hearing what he’d said, and he had no objection to it. 
“Yeah,” she huffed out, a sick smile on her face. “Send him over to the fucking raiders.” She continued to curse under her breath despite being one-hundred-percent serious. “Joel, did you hear him?” She asked again, looking at him in search of reassurance for her reaction. 
“Yeah…” He sighed, looking at you briefly before looking back to Ellie. “Yeah, babygirl, I heard him. I’ll see what I can do, alright?” He rubbed her shoulder in an attempt to get her to calm down, but it was no use. 
“What a fucking pig,” she was still going on, clutching your hands in her bruising one.
Joel nodded toward the street, and you quickly got the memo. “Why don’t we get home, El?” You suggested, squeezing her hand to get her attention. She hummed, bringing the back of your hand to her mouth to kiss your knuckles. 
You hadn’t tried to calm her down that time, not knowing what to say with the way she was still gripping your hands and staring at the ground. 
Eventually, she spoke up. “I really tried not to make a scene,” she said. “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you, or scared you, or—“
“It’s fine, Els.”
“I’d explain, but I’d have to repeat what he said, and I don’t ever want to hear that shit again… Fucking disgusting.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry. Seriously. Sorry anyone would ever fucking say something like that… Fuck’s sake.”
You walked in silence for a while, gently stroking the back of her palm as she lifted her gaze from the ground to your hands cupping hers, which would probably be trembling if it weren't for you holding it.
“I’ve never seen you so serious about…” you spoke up after a moment, still not even knowing how to communicate with her like this. “You know, when you’re yelling at Jesse about patrol, it’s usually half joking, or something, but… You seriously looked like you were gonna kill him.”
“Should’ve.”
She was still gripping your hand when you got home, unlocking the door and holding it open for her. 
As soon as she was in the safety of your home, her face started to turn red. She brought the heels of her palms to her eyes as she sucked in a harsh breath, cursing at herself for how upset she was getting. 
“Should I get you tea or something?” She’d never been so angry that she started crying, and you didn’t know how to deal with that. You had half a mind to go get Joel again. “What do you need from me?”
She sighed, putting her hands down. Her face was still red, but she was refusing to let herself get worked up again. “Can we go to bed?” She asked quietly, gaining a quick nod from you. You held out your hand for her. She went to take it, but quickly stopped herself. “I need to wash my hands.”
“Okay…” You nodded, offering a reassuring smile. “I’ll set out some clothes for you, yeah?” She nodded, lips pursed. You leaned in, kissing her cheek and gaining a nearly unnoticable smile before you went your separate ways.
You changed into one of her shirts and underwear before you got into bed and waited. It must’ve been a half hour before she came back, looking much calmer than she did before. She changed into the shirt and boxers you set out for her, keeping quiet as she got into bed and lied behind you with her head resting on your shoulder. 
“Feel better?” You asked. She only hummed, bringing her hand to your hip and running it up your waist. “El, what did he—?“
“I love you,” she said quietly, shaking her head and kissing your shoulder. “I’d do fucking… anything for you. You know that?” Her hand slipped beneath your shirt, running over your stomach and making you understand that she'd never repeat those words. Even if they were still running through her mind. “I won’t let anyone touch you. Fucking ever.” Her touch was soft despite her words, tone uninviting for argument. “If anyone ever lays a hand on you, you tell me. I’ll fucking kill them—“
“Ellie,” you warned, turning toward her and lying on your back.
You tried to be stern in an attempt to help ground her, as that was the only thing that would make her relax, but her words were earnest, coming out far too easily. 
She shook her head, and when you looked up at her, you could tell that she was completely calm. She'd already decided that she should've killed that man, and you had half a mind to think she was so upset earlier because she didn't get to.
“If anyone even looks at you wrong…” She muttered as she hovered over you, forearms resting on either side of your head to hold herself up as her fingers ran softly over your hair. “If that’s really how people think, then I don’t care—“
“What did he say, El? Why did it get you so worked up?” Your hands went to her shoulders, gently rubbing her back to soothe her. 
She shook her head, bringing her hand to your cheek and running the backs of her fingers down your skin. “Nothing you should have to hear…” She moved to straddle you, sitting back on your thighs as she lowered her head to your neck. “Just know…” She kissed you softly. “If I ever see him again…” Her kisses were loving, soft lips grazing your skin as she tucked her head in the crook of your neck. “He’s fucking dead.”
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The Agency's Older Brother: or, Ranpo's Character Development
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I want to talk about Ranpo and the development he goes through in the series, because for as much as Ranpo is an important member of the Agency, his story is focused on in small chunks that may not always, at first read, seem to be overly significant. In fact, Ranpo’s arc is very consistent and I’m fascinated to know where it’s building to, because he’s done a lot of growing in the series. A lot of the themes of his story are to do with responsibility and faith in others.
The Ranpo we meet at the beginning of the story is not the Ranpo we see now. The biggest change is that he’s a lot more personally involved with the struggles of the Agency members, taking it on himself to be proactive and protective, while previously he had to be pushed and bribed into helping much of the time. When did this change?
Well...
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[ID: Two screenshots from a scene in Poe's introductory episode of the Bungou Stray Dogs anime. In the first screenshot, Yosano lies on the carpeted ground, an axe embedded in her chest, blood pooling around her. Ranpo is crouched beside her, supporting her shoulders with one hand and clasping her hand with the other. The second screenshot is a close up of Ranpo's distressed face. End ID.]
The thing is, it's almost easy to overlook the effect this scene had on Ranpo, because Poe’s introductory chapter/episode is such a brief one. Moreover, afterwards, Poe becomes an ally and is a bit of a silly character, so it’s easy to forget sometimes that he was a legitimate threat here - and Yosano nearly died for it. This scene was incredibly significant to Ranpo for a few notable reasons.
It’s the first time someone in the Agency was in serious trouble/died without a backup plan.
It is, unfortunately, kind of on him. (Let me be real clear here: I am not blaming Ranpo. But he probably was blaming himself and that's something to keep in mind.)
To recap: Poe pulls Ranpo into his novel out of revenge, also trapping Yosano, who went with him. Ranpo realizes that they are in a world with no abilities, and importantly, he doesn't have the glasses Fukuzawa gave him.
We know those glasses mean a lot to him. When Ranpo was at his lowest, when he was convinced the world hated him, Fukuzawa gave him those glasses and told him he had a special ability. That he had a gift that no one else did that allowed him to see the truth that no one else could. Untold Origins makes it very clear that if Fukuzawa hadn't reached out to Ranpo when he did, Ranpo may have forever been outcasted. He was a kid kept in a bubble then suddenly and rudely shoved into a world he was unprepared to cope with, where he continued to get rejected and thrown out over and over - and all this on top of the grief he felt from his parents' passing. Ranpo was bitter and terrified of people, and thought everyone was pretending to be oblivious just to hurt him. Fukuzawa saved him the only way he could, in the only way Ranpo would hear him. It's not an exaggeration to say Fukuzawa saved Ranpo's life. And, while cute, it's also telling how quickly those glasses became an intrinsic part of his identity. Only maybe twenty minutes after he first received them, he was already making little doodles of himself wearing them.
Suddenly, the glasses are gone, and Ranpo goes into a funk because he "can't activate his ability without them". Obviously, we know that isn't true, and so does Yosano. Ranpo probably, deep down, knows this too, but to admit that would be to admit the president lied to him, and to uproot the very thing that gave him the means to perceive the world in a brighter light. The reason Fukuzawa had to lie in the first place was because the truth would be to tell Ranpo that his parents lied to him, something he angrily denies could ever be the case. And now, Fukuzawa is very plainly stated to be Ranpo's adoptive father. Ranpo's parents do not lie to him. He does not want to see it - and so he doesn't. This is a recurring thing with Ranpo. For as much as he sees the truth clearly, he also chooses not to see it at times when it would be uncomfortable/go against the intuition of someone he deeply trusts and respects.
And I think it's very easy to just leave it there, and say, "Oh, Ranpo realized at the end of this chapter/episode that he didn't need the glasses, that he doesn't have an ability, and that's a key turning point" but I don't feel that's the full picture or even the focus here, especially since Ranpo still hasn't reached the point where he can properly admit it aloud, even to Yosano.
The thing is, those glasses aren't just of use to Ranpo - they have sentimental value. A heck of a lot of it, for a character who is not very sentimental. The real turning point here is that Ranpo put on Yosano's glasses in order to save her.
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[ID: A screenshot of a panel from the Bungou Stray Dogs manga. Ranpo puts on a pair of glasses. His hair is blown out of his face and he wears an intense expression. End ID.]
Shortly before this, we are informed by Yosano that not only was the Agency specifically formed for Ranpo to make use of his talents, but also that it was Ranpo who invited her to join - which we later learn was a pivotal moment for her to start over after she was completely broken by her experiences in the war. And now, he is watching her bleed out because she had to take over. Because he couldn't solve it. And that, to Ranpo, is unacceptable.
But again, there's more to it. Ranpo is fundamentally a self-centered character - this is not a judgement; I actually love that about him. He's the center of the Agency, the (ostensibly) good guys of the series; a narcissistic guy with little in the way of sensitivity who wants to use his skills to help others. Not for some higher ideal, or because it's "right" necessarily, but because he's good at it, and because he's supposed to protect all the "babies" who can't solve things for themselves. I love it because it highlights a major theme of BSD, which is good as something you do rather than something you are, and also because it explains something about Ranpo himself.
See, if everyone in the world is a "baby" who needs Ranpo's assistance, then the people in the Agency are a little different. They're people hand-picked by Fukuzawa to support him, both through praise and through backup. Remember that Ranpo trusts Fukuzawa's judgement more than anything - this means that he expects the Agency members can handle themselves. So, in chapter 10, when Ranpo doesn't really care that Atsushi has been taken, citing that it's a "personal problem" and he should handle it, I really think this was some odd form of "Atsushi will be fine" and "why should I worry or do anything when I know he'll be fine". And in the past, this has been true - the Agency members always pull through. None of them, up until that point, have been in a situation that they couldn't eventually fix. Ranpo has a bubble of safety in the Agency, that basically amounts to a "villain of the week" type beat from his perspective, where troubles gets fixed up pretty quickly. All in a day's work.
But then Yosano dies in Poe's book, someone he actually had some level of responsibility for when he invited her to join his safe little circle in a world that had no place for people like them. And it's a direct result of Ranpo's refusal/inability to act.
In order to fix this, Ranpo uses Yosano's glasses. The lens he's seeing through has changed. The people in the Agency were initially "his" in that they were meant to support Ranpo, the special one "chosen" by Fukuzawa's glasses, the reason for the Agency's existence in the first place. But now the people in the Agency are "his" in that they are his to protect. He's their big brother they all look up to in a way, and as the big brother, he's got to take responsibility for their safety.
Why did this not stand out in the moment? Well, we learn something about Ranpo from Untold Origins: he's very good at pretending he's doing okay and things aren't bothering him as much as they are. He's able to hold it together up until it all comes spilling out of him during the play. Also, I do think Ranpo cares about people a good deal more than he'd have you believe. A common fanon thing about Ranpo (from what I've seen) is that he tends to forget people, which, I can see how one would come to that conclusion, but I actually think it's completely wrong. I don't think Ranpo's forgotten a single person he's accused. I don't think he's forgotten a single person he's helped.
He lied about not remembering Poe, in fact, he remembered him pretty fondly as a real challenge. He remembers the information on a person from the Special Division he was asked to look into and gave the info to Mushitarou to allow him an in. He recognizes an officer he'd helped, and it's implied he recognizes every single officer who had been present while he was working on cases in the past. Does this mean he cares about all of them? ...eh. Probably not. But it does mean that Ranpo keeps a lot of his cards close to his chest. He's disarming with his intentional childishness. And so it can be difficult for the characters and readers both to notice that events like Yosano's almost-death... actually bothered him a lot more than he let on.
Because it was his fault. Because she was his responsibility. Because he's supposed to be invincible.
And unfortunately, the story from here on out does not get any kinder to Ranpo as his safe bubble that is the Agency is repeatedly targeted in ways that are increasingly hard to repair.
Fukuzawa falls ill and nearly dies in Cannibalism arc.
A girl gets blown up and Kunikida ends up in jail because Fyodor managed to manipulate Ranpo's intel.
Mushitarou is believed to have been shot and killed trying to warn Ranpo about the Decay of Angels plan.
Taneda bleeds out from a stab wound and falls into a coma. Ranpo can do nothing but listen and cannot get him help.
The amount of times Ranpo has seen people nearly die in front of him... bro it's almost as bad as Kunikida.
Much like Kunikida having extreme faith in his lofty ideals which make him fall just that much harder when he fails to uphold them, Ranpo has practically zero self-doubt and complete and utter confidence in his abilities... so when problems arise, Ranpo is very harsh on himself. He takes the blame because he's supposed to be better than that. Because he is the one with the powerful "ability" that should never fail.
In this sense, Ranpo's position in the Agency reminds me a lot of a certain person in the Port Mafia, someone who also has a powerful skill he puts towards protecting his own, someone who also received life changing words from the boss which earned him his loyalty, and someone who would do anything to defend the only place in the world he feels secure.
I think there's definitely a reason Cannibalism arc had Ranpo and Chuuya face off, I'm just saying. Both of them ostracized and thrown out as young teens by people who should've been looking out for them. Both the instigators of that arc, proactive and desperate to protect the person they are most loyal to who changed their perspectives. They've even got the same power stance, look. :P
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[ID: Two panels from the Bungou Stray Dogs manga. The first is a panel of Ranpo with the silhouette of Fyodor behind him. He is standing with his hands in his pockets, facing front with his head tilted back and to the left a little, a fierce expression on his face and his cloak billowing outwards. The second is a panel of Chuuya standing in a similar manner, arms crossed, facing front with a fierce expression as his coat billows out around him. End ID.]
Of course, there's more interesting comparisons and contrasts to be drawn between them, but I'm focusing on Ranpo in this analysis, so I think I've made my point. Chuuya is the Port Mafia's best martial artist. Ranpo is the Agency's strongest man. And that places a burden of responsibility on them that they both believe they must uphold. They're both ready and willing to do whatever it takes.
The thing is though, is that Ranpo doesn't actually have an ability. When up against someone like Chuuya, he is at a distinct disadvantage, and he knows it. "Regular people can't defeat ability users". But he's still going to come up with a way to do it anyways, and why?
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[ID: A screencap from the Bungou Stray Dogs anime. The members of the Agency all stand around Ranpo, who is seated at his desk with a smile, one hand holding his cap, the other held up in a casual gesture. The image is filtered in a soft light. End ID.]
Because his friends think he's invincible.
If Ranpo wants to maintain his safe place in a world of fear, then he has to step up to defend it, and he has to get creative about it. And that's exactly what he does. Ranpo becomes steadily more active throughout the story, which is a huge change from the start, where he had to be practically bribed to help at all. I see a lot of people point out his channeling of Fyodor's tactics to secure Kunikida's release, which is definitely a dark turn for his character, but it's not the only change.
Ranpo is now choosing to place his faith in others, the first obvious instance of this being his use of Poe's novels - which was how he defeated Chuuya. Ranpo knows that he is not going to succeed against people who drastically overpower him all alone, even if he does still take things on as personal burdens. He's also far more obvious about his protectiveness, going on the rescue himself to save the Agency members, driving a car (whereas before he needed someone to take transit with him - another indication of his increased proactivity since he's now literally driving instead of being driven), and bodily shoving Atsushi out of harm's way.
It all culminates in one of my favourite Ranpo scenes where he speaks at the conference to the police, who've worked with him before, where he asks if they will think for themselves - and tells everyone gathered there that anyone can be a detective if they think for themselves and look with their own eyes (!!!). He manages to get half the police force on his side, just through his words and his logic alone! Minoura assumes he somehow knew it would all work out, because, well, it's Ranpo. Ranpo knows everything.
But...
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[ID: An image from the Bungou Stray Dogs manga. Ranpo sits in the passenger seat of a car with an honest, helpless smile. End ID.]
He reveals he didn't know if his ploy would work at all. He had to trust that it would with no solid proof. He had to trust these people would use their heads and look beyond the obvious. He respects these people enough that he thinks at least some of them will make the right call.
Fourteen year old Ranpo, bitter and estranged from other people, would never. For him to have come such a long way is testament to the security that the Agency provided him with. In a way, Fukuzawa forming the Agency allowed Ranpo to "complete" his childhood in relative safety, so that when the world became hostile once again and his family destabilized, Ranpo had matured enough to meet it and defend himself and those he has a responsibility towards head on. The Agency is his family, and Ranpo cares for them enough that he puts his faith, not just in them, but in the people they put their faith in too.
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[ID: A panel from the Bungou Stray Dogs manga. Ranpo is kneeling in front of Fukuchi, who is sitting backwards on his chair to face him. End ID.]
...aaaaand then Fukuchi went and ruined it. Thanks, Fukuchi.
Ranpo again chooses to put his trust in someone without proof because Fukuzawa trusts him, only for that to have gotten thrown back into his face in the worst way possible. And it's in this regard, the trust aspect, that I think we'll see Ranpo develop as the story goes on.
Will he continue to show this tentative faith in people? Or will he begin to hyper-analyze, unwilling to trust again without proof?
If this arc gets resolved decently well, I think Ranpo will have no issue brushing this off as a one-time thing. However, if what I fear might happen does and Fukuzawa doesn't make it out of this arc... Ranpo will be destabilized.
I don't know that Ranpo would go "bad" per se. He likes the other Agency members. He cares about them - that's genuine. But if Fukuzawa dies, then Ranpo may begin to take darker actions in order to keep them safe, almost overprotective and harshly logical, with little room for blind trust or risks in the name of justice or honour. It may put him at odds with Kunikida, in that Ranpo may start to develop a strong "do what's necessary" mentality, even if that may be immoral. He may regress a little into his old trust issues.
However, I really don't think Ranpo will go too far down the path of darkness, even if the worst should happen. He's a lot tougher than he seems, and he has a good support system in the Agency. I guess it remains to be seen where Ranpo's story takes him next.
Until then...
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[ID: A screencap from the Bungo Stray Dogs anime. Ranpo sits in his chair in a cuter art style, having taken a bite from the pastry he has in his left hand. End ID.]
I love one good boy. :)
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catboybiologist · 9 months
Text
Hi! I’m CatboyBiologist.
Formerly a femboy, now a trans woman just starting HRT, and a PhD student in molecular biology. I started using this online persona as a fun, shitposty way to explore gender a few years ago. I post selfies (generally sfw, but somewhat sexy, so minors and ppl who don’t like that have been warned), rambles about science, tutorials and advice from the stuff I’ve learned by being a femboy in the past, nature pictures, stuff about the ocean, my adorable grumpy little tortoise, and unsolicited opinions on random nerdy topics. Any pronouns are fine. I don’t plan to socially transition for a while, and still present as a man most of the time, so I’m used to whatever you wanna use for me (for now, I’ll update this if that changes). Please send me pictures of your pets or other cute animals in your life!
As a scientist, I’m also documenting my transition! This google sheet will be updated at least monthly. I also have additional metrics I’m keeping to myself, and pictures that go with this, but I’m not sharing them publicly yet. Keep in mind that this is just one person’s experience with HRT, and may not represent universal trends!
Adding a little something here, bc I think it was an interesting bit a writing: if you want to see me respond to a transphobe about what "biologically female" means, here's a thing I wrote about it. CW for transphobia and discussion, obviously.
Also, if any of my measurements look weird, its entirely possible I fucked up. Let me know if anything looks off!
Here’s some of my favorite pre-HRT pictures:
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If you want to see more of my pre-HRT selfies, browse the “femboy” tag on my blog!
And as of this writing, I’m only 2 days after the start of HRT, so here’s a picture with my tortoise that’s technically post-HRT (but with 0 time for actual changes):
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If you want to see my future post-HRT selfies, browse the “trans selfie” tag on my blog!
Also here's another really cute picture and fanart of my tortoise by @whalesharkcat:
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I have affectionately given my tortoise the title of The Grumpus.
I also wrote a couple of tutorials and general vibes about being a femboy before I started HRT:
Sometimes I make shitposts of myself, I don’t take myself too seriously:
This includes the way I came out on tumblr:
And here’s an overly serious, long ramble about trans thoughts and things that I wrote shortly afterwards:
Later addition: Someone asked how I take selfies, so I wrote a quick and dirty guide with some tips on how I do so in response to their ask:
Oh yeah and apparently I was a 196 microcelebrity? I never to thought I was popular enough for that but apparently some people do 🤷‍♀️. So uh, hi 196 tags, I'm abusing you for my pinned post LOL
As for terminology, I personally do think of myself as a “man who is becoming a woman” as opposed to having always been a woman. If that doesn’t resonate with your experience, I totally get that! But that’s why I freely call pre-HRT me a femboy, while still calling post-HRT me a trans woman. I’m also keeping the blog name as CatboyBiologist for the forseeable future, because at this point, Catboy just seems like a gender neutral term to me.
I’m also trying to put together a script for a podcast regarding how studying biology influenced my perspective on sex and gender- lmk if there’s any interest in that! It’s probably gonna be way too long and indulgent but oh well.
So uh. Yeah. I don’t end these types of things well. Byeeeeee
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sh0tanzz · 2 months
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Who in riize do u think would like a partner who’s slightly older/younger than them, like a year or two age difference? N then who do you think would prefer someone who’s older and has more life experience? (Basically kinda in a who would want to be taken care of by their partner vs them being the one to take care of their partner type of way)
hmmmmm this may be a bit controversial I fear
RIIZE OLDER VS YOUNGER based on astrology~
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reminder this is based off of MY opinions of their birth chart placements + aspects and is not exact fact unless I knew them myself and I am not a professional astrologer 🤍
Older
Seunghan
a lot of people think Seunghan would have a younger s.o but ngl..he'd probably like someone more older or at least a person that has more experience/more mature. I say this because the things he'd want the most I feel like he'd expect or more easily get from someone older. He wants someone that would be independent + confident in their place in the relationship, has experience in life in general (including partying/vices), and ngl he might want more tasteful luxury gifts so lowkey sugarmama/older gf vibes 😭.
Anton
I don't think he cares about age at all bc his chart doesn't indicate physical attributes minus the stereotypical feminine things (bouncy healthy hair, sweet perfumes, pretty nails) but I feel like he'd be best suited with someone older yk..like that would be best for him. Reason being, personality wise he wants someone mature, ambitious, independent, doesn't need to be babied/taken care of 24/7, can guide him, financial stable which is something you expect from a more mature/older person right ?
Middle Ground
alright ikik all my babygirls are wondering wtf Sungchan and Eunseok are doing here instead of the younger category but..walk with me....🤫
Sungchan
50/50 bc I feel like he can get what he wants from either age group. He has a cancer moon + leo venus so he may like reciprocity and for him and his s.o nurture or be attentive with each other OR he's ok with taking care of a younger/immature s.o & would be fine with being taken care of by a older/mature s.o. He likes someone to be educated, lowkey a little wiser and put together BUT he likes to wear the pants and be the lead/doting counterpart of the relationship. I just think he can get what he likes from either group and he probs is into cap risings.
Eunseok
Eunseok..probably just doesn't care LMFAO. As long as you're tall, hot, confident and charming he's all in. IM KIDDING OFC . but he can adapt to either relationship trope. He likes someone with a mature seductiveness thats independent and gives good concrete wise advice..BUT he also likes someone thats goofy and surprises him and has a teasing "hard to get" aura to them. So imo he'd go after either one as long as they were compatible with him.
Younger
(crazy I know)
Sohee
Sohee is typically the one being doted on and seen as the "cute" one and I just think he'd want to explore outside of that trope through his partner (sag venus tings). Plus I'm ngl Sohee's big 6 placements and his sun/uranus + mercury/mars aspects makes me feel like he'd feel kinda slowed down or restricted with an older/overly mature/serious partner. This is about to be contradictory ik but I feel like it’d be easier if said older partner had a more immature “cute” image
Wonbin
Wonbin probably likes...cliche dynamincs ngl..his taurus mars makes him feel more driven to the traditional/stereotypical dynamics yk so he's the masc and provides like the typical "oppa" type shit ykwim. Plus his Pisces Venus probably makes him idealize that type of stereotypical trope more. I also feel like an older partner would make him feel a more serious sense of responsibility and scare the shit out of him 😭😭.
Shotaro
Shotaro has a capricorn venus and I said in one post his ideal type could go either way and transition between being more playful+immature or sophisticated+mature I feel like he currently likes immature/younger partners (see how he dotes on Sohee/Anton the youngest members) but in the future would prefer someone more mature because that's just what I typically see in cap venus men,,they start with one ideal type and the older they get they switch to the other.
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misc-obeyme · 1 year
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politely requesting the brothers and newly dateables reacting to mc proposing to them? alternatively, how each of them would propose to mc okaythankyou
Hi there, anon!
Ahh this made me feel things while I was writing it lol. I did their reactions to MC proposing to them. I didn't really go into how MC did it, really just their responses to the proposal. So you can kind of imagine how it happened.
Thank you for the request!
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GN!MC proposes to the characters
Warnings: a surprising amount of crying lol, some kissing and such
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Lucifer
He's so overcome that he forgets himself for a minute. Can't speak at first, just blushes a lot and gets that frown he gets when he's feeling too much emotion. Once he recovers from this initial flood of feeling, he's going to accept.
He's a little annoyed that you beat him to it. He likely already had plans to propose to you first. But he's so happy at that moment, he's willing to overlook it.
Definitely will get a little cocky. Of course you chose him to be your husband. Who else could it have been? After all, you're already wearing his ring, aren't you, MC? Thinks it's cute that you thought you didn't already belong to him.
If you're around other people, he will allow himself to get a little affectionate with you in the moment. Accepts your ring, lets you put it on his finger, kisses you briefly. But later, when you're alone, he is going to worship you. Because when it comes down to it, Lucifer wants nothing more than for him to belong to you.
Mammon
Shocked at first. Did not see it coming at all. Watch as his blush slowly deepens and his eyes gradually get watery as the realization of it washes over him.
When he can finally think again, he's so overwhelmed he still can't say much. Starts out just saying "yes yes yes" over and over again. Quietly at first, but then it increases in volume until he's fighting really hard to hold back his tears.
Eventually the happiness takes over and he starts laughing, too. Now he's laughing and crying and mumbling and he finally just throws his arms around you. He's so happy he starts swinging you around. Has the biggest grin on his face even though its still streaked with tears.
Mammon doesn't care where you are or who you're with, he pulls you into a deep kiss right there. All he sees is you and the future you're going to have together. Ya don't know how happy you've made him, MC. Doesn't want to let you go, needs to hold you for a while and just let it all sink in.
Leviathan
He's confused at first. Is this really happening? Are you sure you're asking the right person? Please, MC, you can't be serious!
You might have to reassure him that you are, in fact, being serious. Once he believes you, he's going to get so embarrassed. Blushes profusely and covers his face with his hands. Peeks at you from between his fingers. If you're really really sure, then yes of course he'll marry you!
If you ask in a way that has something to do with one of his interests (for example, you got a ring for each of you and they're labeled as player one and player two), he's going to gush about that for quite some time. It's easier to talk about how you asked than what you asked.
After Levi manages to calm down a little bit, he's going to want you to hold him close. He's still blushing like crazy and probably nervous about the whole thing, but he's also so happy you want to marry him.
Satan
Oh, MC. You have no idea how he's dreamed of this moment. Pulls out the ring he was planning to ask you with. Great minds think alike.
He's ready to exchange rings with you. He's not too overly demonstrative with his feelings since he's so used to attempting to keep his anger in check, he kind of suppresses everything. But you can still tell how happy he is. It's clear by the way he's looking at you with shining eyes.
Pulls you in close to him and whispers in your ear that marrying you would be a dream come true. Digresses quickly into romantic poetry. Don't interrupt him, just let him have this moment to recite poetry to you.
Satan's feelings are fully revealed when he refuses to leave your side for days. Constantly holding your hand in such a way that your rings are visible. Kisses your fingers on purpose and lingers over the ring on your finger. Make him blush like crazy by doing it back.
Asmodeus
Instant tears. Completely surprised, completely overwhelmed, doesn't even know how to react. Covers his mouth with both hands while the tears stream down his cheeks, stares at you with wide watery eyes.
Finally finds his voice and just repeats your name over and over. Oh, MC, MC, MC! Of course he'll marry you! Yes a thousand times yes! Flings his arms around you and covers you in kisses. He's so happy and he doesn't have any problem expressing his feelings. Let him shower you in love. Prepare yourself for later because he's not going to let you go for the foreseeable future.
Slip that ring on his finger and watch him just beam with happiness. It's so beautiful and you're so beautiful and he's so beautiful! This is truly the most amazing moment of his entire life.
Which means he's going to make the actual wedding surpass it. Goes into wedding planner mode as soon as he has his composure. Don't worry, Asmo will include you in every decision. Wants it to be absolutely perfect, but also wants it to be all about the two of you.
Beelzebub
Another crier, but he's quiet about it. Doesn't explode or gush or say much, but there are absolutely tears dripping down his cheeks. Brush them away gently to make him smile. Then he'll be able to compose himself enough to actually answer you.
You really want to marry him? Because nothing in the three worlds would make him happier, MC. He folds you into a hug and doesn't let go for some time. Needs to process what just happened.
Already thinking about wedding cake, though. And other such wedding food. Discuss this with him right now, it's very important. He's going to want input from all his brothers on this stuff, too. It's also kind of a tactic to help him calm down, he's still pretty overwhelmed by his love for you.
In the end, Beel's going to carry you off somewhere. Depending on where you were when you asked, he's going to want to find somewhere quiet and private because he just wants to kiss you over and over. Can't believe this has actually happened. Takes some time for it to really become reality to him.
Belphegor
Completely blindsides him. He's so surprised he doesn't know what to say at first. You've made him speechless. You might think he's just still half asleep, but no he is wide awake.
Quietly asks you if you're sure. Are you sure you want a lazy demon like him for a husband, MC? Are you really sure? He needs you to confirm.
When he finally realizes that you are serious and you want to marry him, his eyes get real wide and he says yes very firmly with a faint blush on his cheeks. Gets demanding. Give him that ring right now and then give him a kiss. Or ten.
Okay but also he's the baby of the family, so be prepared for brothers trying to take over wedding planning. Belphie lets them do it, too, for the most part. However, he is picky about things and will veto any and all of their ideas. You have the last say in the end.
Diavolo
Assuming that it's okay for him to marry a human and that there's no issue considering he is the next demon king and all of that, he's going to tear up immediately. As is so often the case, Diavolo is going to try very hard to keep his composure even though he's feeling all the feelings.
Successfully manages to hold back his tears, but does not succeed in holding back his signature laugh. Because he is delighted. Most likely never expected to be proposed to. Might have been scheming to propose to you, but this really is much better.
Takes your hands and meets your eyes. Yes, of course he'll marry you, MC. Nothing could possibly make him any happier. He's got a big smile and his gold eyes are shining brightly.
He's going to want to make a big announcement to anyone nearby because he wants everyone to know how lucky he is. But later, when you're alone, he's really going to let himself feel everything. Can't keep his hands off you for the next little while. Might even fall to his knees at your feet. Just wants you to know how much this means to him.
Barbatos
Oh… Oh, MC… rarely does something take him by surprise, but this… he was not expecting. You've flustered him. Take in that cute blush and happy smile.
Accepts graciously. It would be an honor to marry you. Out of all the people you could have chosen, he's overwhelmed that you've chosen him.
We know he's not one to be making a lot of fanfare about things, so this moment is quiet and sweet. Only later, when you're alone, does he get clingy with you, holding you close, kissing you constantly. Won't let you go for some time.
You're going to have to talk Barbatos out of catering the entire wedding himself, though. Initially won't trust anyone else to do it. If you can get Simeon to help, he might give in. You might just have to let him make the cake in the end.
Simeon
He's barely able to keep it together. Holds a hand to his mouth as he feels his eyes filling with tears. He manages to keep it in, wanting to stay composed. Can't stop thinking about the perfect life you'll have together.
Says yes firmly, gripping your hands like his life depends on it. MC, he has never known such happiness. You mean so much to him, but he never dared to imagine such a future with you.
Laughs as you put the ring on his finger. He's so happy he can't stop smiling. Wants to tell everyone you know, but he's not going to be overly demonstrative about it. He's quiet in his happiness, pleased just to be by your side. And his bright smile is enough to indicate how he feels.
Of course, when Simeon gets you alone, that's when he keeps you in his embrace. Covers you with kisses. Needs to be near you, to feel you close to him, to make sure you're really real and this is actually happening. Might ask you to tell him again that you want to marry him - he likes to hear you say it.
Solomon
Did not see it coming. Would never expect you to choose him. So his first reaction is to be conflicted. He desperately wants to say yes, but he's aware of the fact that you are still a regular human. Can he really handle another loss when you inevitably age and pass on?
In the end, though, he knows he can't say no. He loves you too much and here you are, risking everything by asking him to marry you. He's not going to crush you like that just because of his own concerns about a far off future.
If somehow you find a way to become immortal, this won't even be a thought. It's yes immediately and he's so thrilled - laughing at you for being so bold. He definitely gets cocky about it, amazed that you could choose him over everyone else.
Solomon acts all confident, but later on, when it's just the two of you, he is going to put his head in your lap and cry. For a long time, he never thought this was something he could ever truly have. And yet here you are. He's overwhelmed by the happiness of it.
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masterlist | Thank you for reading!
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restinslices · 4 months
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ALRIGHT ENOUGH ANGST MY HEARTS DEALT WITH ENOUGH 😭 CAN I REQUEST THE LIN KUEI BOYS TAKING CARE OF A SICK READER?
I also got another fluff request but for Kitana. Y’all make me sick, I could just BAFFGSGTGSGG (me vomiting cause y’all don’t wanna be depressed). Using stupid pictures because I don’t think I have for them yet.
Bi-Han
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The haters will try to convince you that Bi-Han wouldn’t give a fuck. That he’d tell you to walk it off or some other mean shit 
I encourage you to ignore them
Bi-Han is snippy but y’all let’s be fr, he’s an older brother. He’s the older brother. He’s definitely been forced to take care of his brothers 
As the oldest brother he’s always had to do shit for his brothers so this is not his first rodeo 
If it’s something small and you’re in the middle of something, like a mission, he’d encourage you to pull through. If you’re not in the middle of something then he’d take care of you 
A small illness can become bigger so he makes sure to address it right away
He knows random remedies you’ve never heard of. Jump down, turn around, pop your ass, swallow a lemon and now you’re ok
You’d recover way quicker with him watching over you 
And if I said he makes you meals will y’all boo me for making him soft?! Idc.
Once again, he’s the oldest. I’m the youngest so I’ve seen how much weight the older ones gotta carry. He for sure knows how to do things like cook, clean, take care of sick people, ect. 
He makes these heavenly soups and just like that, your sore throat is gone 
Soups, teas, a nice healing stew, he’s on it
If you have body aches, he makes you do certain stretches 
You swear this man knows witchcraft because everything he suggests works 
Obviously if you’re heating up he’ll put his hand on you. We knew this was coming.
He’d prefer you to use an ice pack or use a cold rag but let’s be real, you’re not gonna do that when you could just cling onto him 
The best doctor the Lin Kuei has ever seen even if he won’t admit it
The strongest of illnesses mean nothing to him. He’s gonna get the job done 
Kuai Liang
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Also a good nurse
He’d ask Bi-Han for some help when it comes to soups and shit. Kuai Liang can cook but he recognizes that Bi-Han got a magic touch 
If you’re in the middle of a mission and feel unwell, he wouldn’t tell you to stop what you’re doing but he has you doing less. He’ll have you behind him and would suggest you to do simple things, like keeping watch 
If you’re not on a mission then he’d pay more attention. You expect that Bi-Han would have you wait and Kuai Liang would treat you right away but I think it’s the opposite. Bi-Han being the caregiver knows how annoying it is to take care of someone really sick (which could have been prevented) and Kuai Liang is the younger sibling who would put off mentioning his illness 
He’d have you track your symptoms at first to see if it’s something serious or something a quick nap could fix 
Lingers around you to make sure you’re ok
Cooks you warm meals if you’re cold but if you’re warm he’ll give you cold liquids 
You can’t sneakily miss taking your medication cause he’s on your ass. Probably has an alarm set and everything 
If you’re overly warm he won’t be all on you because he’s warm, but if you want physical touch he’ll let you hold his pinkie 
Bi-Han gives you remedies even if they taste absolutely vile but I think Kuai Liang would try to give you remedies that don’t taste that bad 
Has you laying down a lot so you can recover quicker. If you have no responsibilities to tend to he’s not letting you get up 
You’ll have to convince him to let you do things like, oh idk, walking around? I have the flu, I’m not dying 
When you start to recover then he lets you move around like normal. He just doesn’t want you exerting yourself and getting worse 
Tries to find out if there’s a certain thing you were exposed to that got you sick so it doesn’t happen again
Tomas Vrbada
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Similar to Kuai Liang in the sense that if you’re on a mission he’ll want you to do less intense things, like keeping watch 
He constantly asks if you’re ok and what your symptoms are 
If it was up to him, you’d be sent back home immediately. You’re just gonna get worse and you probably can’t focus 
If you have nothing to do then he’s basically right on top of you
I feel like he has random thoughts he doesn’t want to have and he makes himself paranoid. He’s the type to google his symptoms and legit starts to think he has cancer because WebMD said so
He also thinks out loud so he’s the type to say “what if you’re dying?… that actually wasn’t appropriate. I’m sorry”
Nah, you gotta move now Tomas 
Because of his paranoia he’s constantly checking up on you 
Kuai Liang but worse because you can convince him to let you move like a normal person but that’s not happening with Tomas 
Becomes your nurse and your butler because he’s doing everything for you 
Cooking? He got it. Making tea? He got it. Making sure you take your meds? He got it. Grabbing a cup of water? He got it. Wanna walk to the bathroom? He got strong arms-
He’s neither hot nor cold so feel free to snuggle next to him 
His brothers are soup kind of guys but I think he’s more oatmeal and tea 
Also tries to give you better tasting medicine but sometimes you just gotta thug it out 
If a mission comes up but you’re still sick, he will not let you attend at all 
Constantly drying your blankets so they can be extra warm if you’re cold 
Distracts you by talking about random shit
Only convinced you’re not dying when you’re no longer sick
He’s on your ass 24/7 but it’s Tomas so who’s complaining?
This is not me turning over a new leaf. If I think of something sad, y’all WILL hear about it💕
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Text
Take Care
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff
Summary: Everyone tries to warn Wanda what a bad idea it is to fall in love with the big, bad, scary spy.
Disclaimer: English is not my first language.
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READ ON AO3 | MASTERLIST
When Wanda joined the Avengers she was sure she had just walked herself into some type of military team so strict and uptight that she was half expecting their fancy airplane to land in the middle of the desert surrounded by barbed wire and heavily armed men. They were, after all, the main ones responsible for keeping Earth safe from every type of villain that might come to them. Aliens, humans, and anything in between. Their team, formed by a literal God, a super soldier, a man who could turn himself into a green monster, a man whose big ego could barely fit inside his iron suit, and two humans - who, really, were probably better than all the other four combined - should live and breath for training, follow routines and focus on getting better and better every time.
Wanda realized pretty quickly that she had been wrong - very wrong - about her assumption.
Tony Stark was a kid stuck in a man’s body. He could barely keep a serious conversation with anyone and spent most of his time making jokes and provoking his colleagues. Bruce was one of the gentlest souls Wanda ever met - though, admittedly, she hadn’t met many of those during her lifetime - but he was a bit like an erudite and lived inside a lab. Thor assembled Wanda as that overly excited kid who got dropped at the amusement park with too much money. Steve was probably the only one among all of them who took this “hero” job as seriously as they should, though it was a bit wasted on him since he didn’t need to train to keep his shape and he was almost unmatchable. And Clint, well, Clint had so many dad jokes in his pockets that Wanda was as impressed by it as she was by his archery skills.
Less than a month of living with them and Wanda already realized that the men who were the most powerful and skilled people on Earth were just like every other man - but with powers and skills no one else had.
It did wonderful things for her because, for once, she didn’t walk into a military base camp like she thought she was going to when Steve and Clint convinced her to tag along after Sokovia, but also because the grief after losing Pietro was very consuming and it was good to have people around her who made her laugh or roll her eyes. It was good to feel things other than sorrow. She got closer to Steve more than anyone else since he was the calmest of them - centered and sweet - but, after a rough start when Wanda could barely get out of bed, she managed to form a bond with the entire team.
The point is that Wanda was aware that those people sometimes acted like the teenagers she often saw on the sitcoms she used to watch with her family. That, of course, did not prepare her to find out that, above all of that, their team also seemed to be keen on keeping updates to their comrades' private lives. In other words, they were gossipmongers.
“So…” The first one to bring it up had been Thor, surprisingly so because the God of Thunder was spending less and less time around nowadays. “I noticed you have a thing for the widow.”
Wanda was not at all surprised that the team picked up on the little signs that she might have taken a different liking to Natasha - of all people, really, and her heart had decided to beat a bit faster to the woman who could kill on two hundred and God knows how many different ways. There were spies on the team and most of them could, somehow, hear better than everyone else too. Also, they would never have gotten that far in battling the bad guys if they had been oblivious to things around them.
What did surprise her, however, was that someone decided to point it out. To her face. While they were trying to choose the movie for that night - Tony’s idea because he was insisting they should pretend to be some type of dysfunctional family who had movie nights or something like that.
With her eyes wide and heart beating fast inside her chest, Wanda glanced over her shoulder to make sure they were still alone in the communal area where the largest TV known by man was. She could hear Tony and Clint bickering in the kitchen because they both had different ideas of what the night snack should be, and she knew Steve, Natasha and Sam must still be in the training room, so obviously Bruce was in his lab yet probably talking with Vision. Even so, Wanda didn’t look even a bit relaxed when she looked back at Thor.
“What?” She breathed out and then, because the nerves were eating her inside, she let out an awkward chuckle while shaking her head.
Wanda really thought the tall muscular man would let it go. He didn’t, of course. “No need to lie to me, shorty,” he said with a large smile that would’ve been charming if he wasn’t so damn daunting. Wanda also wanted to point out that everyone next to Thor would be short and that she was taller than most, but he didn’t give her a chance. “I can see the way you stare at her.”
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Wanda opened her mouth to try and come up with something to say but there was nothing her brain could use to get out of that situation. She wasn’t surprised people noticed but she was surprised Thor noticed. Because, if he did, so did everyone else. And, God, it was terrifying to have people knowing the things she felt.
She had a very complicated life until that point - and it still was, honestly - and Wanda learned when she was still a kid inside an orphanage that anything people knew about you could be used to hurt you. When Hydra started to make experiments on her, it became even more evident. Wanda proved it herself when she invaded the minds of the same people she now shared a roof with and used their worst memories and fears against them. And, after going through training with Natasha, Clint and Steve, Wanda could immediately panic thinking someone knew her deepest secrets.
Thor must have seen the panic on her face because his teasing smile turned more soft and he actually lowered his voice a bit - not that it would make such a difference since his timbre was so deep. “Hey, I’m not going to judge. Humans have so many rules and what they think is moral or not is based on things I can’t understand.”
It took Wanda a few seconds to understand what he was talking about. Thor thought she was afraid he would have a problem with Wanda having feelings for a woman when, in reality, she was scared that he knew she had feelings at all. If she wasn’t so tense, Wanda would’ve laughed.
“That’s not what I wanted to talk about, though,” Thor kept talking and Wanda was amazed he had a plan on what he wanted to talk with her about. Thor was not the type of guy who planned those things. Still holding the remote in her hand, Wanda waited for him to continue. “Look, Natasha is… very brave.” He made it sound like that was the most important quality someone could have. “And scary.” Wanda raised her eyebrows in surprise. “I mean, she’s a good woman. Very beautiful too.”
Okay, he didn’t have a plan.
Wanda slowly nodded. “Sure,” she mumbled, unsure what else she could say.
“She’s also not the woman who do dating,” Thor finally declared, suddenly looking proud of himself. “If you want, I’m pretty sure she would be down to sex, but take care, okay?” Wanda felt her face heating up in a way it had never done before and her eyes glued to the TV in front of her with renewed interest. There was no way that conversation was real. “If you do the sex, don’t get attached,” he warned her gently. “You might end up getting hurt. So, maybe, the best idea is to not have sex. Unless you want to.”
Wanda thought she wanted to disappear, maybe be swallowed whole by a portal or something that would take her away. She had magic and she certainly could make it happen if she tried hard enough but Wanda felt so shell-shocked that she couldn’t move. “Thor…”
The God interrupted her, though, which was good because Wanda wasn’t sure what she could even say. “I just mean that having feelings for someone like Natasha can be very tricky. But, if you ever get your heart broken and need someone to talk to, just come to find me. Unless I’m in Asgard, of course.”
Thor then used one of his ridiculously big hands to pat her on the back, a friendly gesture, but Wanda almost got thrown out of the couch because of how strong the man was. Wanda grimaced and moved away a few inches so he couldn’t reach her again if he tried, and she was about to finally snap and tell him to mind his own business when Tony and Clint entered the space with several popcorn bowls.
“Where is everyone else?” Tony asked and, just like that, the conversation was over.
Wanda couldn’t say she had forgotten all about it after it happened because it was hard to forget that Thor, the God of Thunder, decided to give her love advice, but she was sure it would never happen again. Sadly, Wanda didn’t have superspeed like Pietro to run away if it ever did but she could think about a few other things to escape if she had to.
That said, she didn’t expect that conversation to happen with someone else instead on the very next day. And with Tony of all people.
He had called her inside his lab to help him make some tests on his suit - he was trying to make it strong enough to support Wanda’s magic - and then allowed Wanda to use one of the robotic arms to blow one of the training dummies. Wanda had laughed after that, feeling like a kid playing with things she wasn’t supposed to, before telling him she still preferred the red flow that came from her own hand and giving him the suit piece back.
“Yes, not all of us can shoot explosive balls from our palms,” Tony replied with a scoff while pulling away his things.
“No need to be so jealous,” Wanda taunted him. They walked a long way until Wanda felt comfortable enough around the man and it took a little more time to be able to joke around him, but Tony had a place inside her heart as well.
“Jealous, honey?” Tony teased her back, taking a look at her from over his glasses. “I invented a thing that is pretty much the same you can do.”
“Well, yes,” she conceded before turning one of her palms up and letting a small red ball form just above it. “But you have to carry that suit everywhere.”
Tony sighed and didn’t argue back, which made Wanda smile and put her hands back inside her back pockets. She was about to ask him if he needed help with anything else since she had planned on going out with Vision to show him the ducks by the lake when Tony started talking before her.
“So, you wanna do funny business at workspace, huh?” Wanda had no idea what he just said and just kept staring at him with a blank expression on her face. Upon hearing nothing from her, Tony looked up from where he was typing on the computer and rolled his eyes impatiently. “You know, knock boots.” Tony kept looking, Wanda kept staring, and it became clear she was still lost. He sighed and started waving a hand while he came up with other things to say. “Have some horizontal refreshment, get down and dirty, shake the sheets, practice the act of darkness, have some adult naptime, make an assault with a friendly weapon, do the Devil’s dance, feed the kitty, hit a home run, join amorous congress - Steve would like that one - go cave diving.” Wanda felt like the man had just thrown a bunch of words that had no meaning at her and expected the girl to form a sentence. Tony groaned and his head dropped for a moment before he looked up at her again and declared: “Sex, Maximoff. I’m talking about sex.”
Wanda’s eyes widened, her cheeks became as red as the magic that winded around her fingers, and she took a step back out of shock. Yes, that wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have with Tony Stark of all people. In fact, Wanda would rather stay still as he blasted her with his Iron Man suit instead of having that particular conversation.
Though, as usual, it could get much worse.
“Let me tell you this, you could have chosen someone better to want to do the fun thing,” Tony huffed and shook his head, although he looked quite impressed. “That’s some dangerous place you want to hide your hot dog at.” Wanda wondered if anyone had ever passed out for blushing too hard because she felt a second away from doing it. “Well, guess that’s not the best euphemism for you. Let me think for a second.”
“You don’t need to,” Wanda murmured mostly to herself since, obviously, Tony didn’t pay her any mind.
“F.R.I.D.A.Y.,” Tony called out and Wanda watched with her eyes still wide as the artificial intelligence came to life to wait for what its creator wanted. “Can you tell me some euphemisms for lesbian sex?”
“Of course, Mister Stark,” the robot replied and Wanda reacted before it could get completely out of hand.
“Okay, I’m out of here.” Wanda turned around to walk to the door, eager to escape and be anywhere other than there.
She still heard F.R.I.D.A.Y. declaring: “Play rock, paper, scissors with only the scissors.”
“Come down, kiddo,” Tony called out after her. “I’m just trying to help!” Wanda opened the door and took a step out, ready to flee - run if she had to. “Romanoff is a very dangerous place to try to get funny, especially if you are totally smitten by her.”
Wanda glared at him in surprise. She wondered if Thor said something or if Tony also couldn’t keep his own business - and she knew the answer to that. “Tony, please, don’t ever talk to me again,” she pleaded because, honestly, she would never recover from the conversation they just had.
Tony laughed, though, and gave her a playful wink. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone that you’re head over heels for our most dangerous, and hot, spy.”
“Bye, Tony.”
“Just saying that, if you want to love her with all your heart and soul, you should know Natasha is all about afternoon delights and nothing else.”
Wanda could only pray no one heard the man’s raised voice while she walked away. Thankfully, Tony didn’t follow her but Wanda didn’t go find Vision right away. She needed a few minutes to get over the fact that another person from their team decided to step out of their way to give Wanda a warning about Natasha Romanoff. Gosh, that was a bit humiliating.
However, Tony hadn’t been the first and wouldn’t be the last either, something that made Wanda want to go back to the rubbles of Sokovia. It felt like a better alternative than having her feelings rubbed into her face like they were public domain.
It was definitely better than having that conversation with Bruce Banner for sure.
“I guess I should give you my condolences,” Bruce said out of nowhere about a week after her weird conversation with Tony.
Half of the team was away on some type of mission, to which Wanda and Bruce hadn’t been needed, and both of them had ended up inside the man’s lab while he worked on something while Wanda read a book. She could’ve gone to the back of the Avengers’ compound where she could sit under a tree and enjoy the breeze, but Bruce was interested in some of the Hydra’s experiments and she decided to tag along with him in case he had any questions she could answer. Bruce and her weren’t that close, though they didn’t have problems with each other.
Wanda looked up from her book with a frown. “For what?” She asked. Pietro had died a while ago and Bruce had said he was sorry about it as soon as they landed after it happened, even going as far as giving her a gentle hug and a sad smile.
Bruce’s dark eyes glanced at her in sympathy, though he didn’t stop mixing whatever he was mixing inside a vial. “For falling in love with Natasha Romanoff,” he explained and, above all, he actually sounded sorry for her. “We should start a club for unrequited love or something.”
Wanda’s eyebrows rose comically as her jaw dropped in surprise. She had seen inside both Natasha’s and Bruce’s heads and she knew that it had happened, however, they never spoke about it and, as far as Wanda knew, they both preferred to pretend it never happened. So, to have the man address the fact that he had feelings for Natasha at some point in time was a bit disturbing. Especially because, yes, Wanda knew about it too and, all people considered, she was the one who tried the hardest to pretend she didn’t.
It was none of her business, to start with, but to think about it made her stomach churn uncomfortably.
And now Bruce Banner wanted to talk with Wanda as if they had both been cursed by some terrible catastrophe.
Which, Wanda supposed, was understandable yet extremely unfair.
“Surprised I know?” Bruce asked with a hint of humor.
“I’m starting to think the entire world has been watching me,” Wanda groaned as she closed her book but her voice was too low for Bruce to hear it.
“I too once looked at Natasha as if we could have a future together, just like you do now,” Bruce kept talking and, despite the harsh words, he didn’t sound like a jerk while saying it. It was probably his gentle nature saving him. “And that’s the problem, you know? Natasha doesn’t think she deserves to have a future, so she won’t even try to build one,” Bruce sighed and looked back at the vial. “We have that in common. Neither of us thinks we can have what Tony found with Pepper, or build something like Clint has.”
Bruce was fine talking about Natasha but he wasn’t comfortable looking at Wanda while he spoke about himself. The girl felt some rush of anger inside her and she bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from saying all the things that ran inside her mind at that moment. She knew Bruce meant well in the end.
“Maybe you’re both too harsh on yourselves,” Wanda pointed out softly.
When Bruce looked at her, it was pretty clear he couldn’t disagree more with what she just said but, maybe to take the spotlight away from him, he nodded. “Perhaps,” he said with a shrug. “I just wanted to warn you. You’re still young and I’m sure one-sided love won’t take you down. Just take care of yourself, okay? Don’t dream too much, keep your feet on the ground.”
It was the most direct way of saying “don’t be in love with Natasha Romanoff” without actually saying it.
Wanda didn’t reply - mostly because that’s not how feelings work, after all - and Bruce dropped the subject right after that. Wanda waited a few more minutes out of respect before excusing herself from his lab, taking her book with her, and that had been it. She would do a lot of things to prevent herself from having that conversation with Bruce again because the last thing she wanted was to hear the man talk about a time when he and Natasha talked about running away together - even if it never happened or if neither of them actually meant it.
The rest of the team returned by the end of the night and Wanda found a seat as far away from Bruce as she could manage when Tony declared they should watch a movie together. Turns out that Wanda realized she would rather hear Tony Stark come up with a thousand different ways to address sex than talk about feelings with Bruce Banner. Who would’ve guessed?
After that, Wanda got a break from the entire “let’s talk about your feelings” thing. Wanda left to join a mission with Steve and Vision, then it was time for Steve to leave with Clint and Natasha for something else. It was some nice good two weeks of not having to talk about how bad she was at hiding her crushes but it didn’t last forever, obviously.
“Hey, Red,” Clint said as soon as he was done eating after returning from his mission. It all went well enough that no one had a bruise or a more serious wound but Clint still had enough adrenaline rushing through his veins that he assured everyone he didn’t want to take a rest like Natasha and Steve wanted to. “You and me, training room. You game?”
It was hard to understand Clint at first when she first met him. Wanda’s first language wasn’t English and it could be hard to keep up when he wasn’t saying all the words. She always thought he would get along with Pietro just fine because of that. As time went by, and the more Wanda had English and accent classes with Natasha, it became easier to follow along, though.
So, she simply nodded and followed him to the training room after changing into something more comfortable. Natasha and Steve had been the ones to give her hand-to-hand combat training when she first joined the team but Wanda now sparred with everyone else since she proved she wouldn’t get herself killed accidentally. Clint was already inside waiting for her and they soon got on the training mattress. Clint wasn’t as good as Natasha but he was still better than Wanda, even more so since she wasn’t allowed to use her powers inside the room, and she quickly started to get her ass kicked.
“You’re still not that good at the whole kicking butt thing,” Clint teased her as he reached out with a hand for her to take it.
She grabbed it and got up with a groan when her muscles protested. “I could throw you across the street with a flick of my finger,” Wanda argued.
Clint simply laughed. “Yeah, right. Come on, try again.”
By the seventh time Wanda landed on the matt, Clint was starting to get tired finally and didn’t try to get her to get up. Wanda lay there, sweaty and out of breath, arms open and staring at the ceiling while cursing herself for never being able to keep up with him. Clint was drinking some water, staring down at her with a smug grin, and Wanda was waiting for him to tease her about it too.
He went to another approach, though. “You know, I thought you would’ve learned more things about it since Natasha was the one teaching you. Thought you would want to impress her or something.”
Wanda groaned because, by now, she knew what was about to happen and she wasn’t thrilled by it. “Not you too,” she complained.
Clint’s smirk told her he had heard her but he didn’t ask any questions about it. “Lemme tell ya,” he paused and pointed at the girl laying on her back, “Natasha would not be impressed.”
Wanda rolled her eyes and grunted as she set down so she wouldn’t feel so damn vulnerable. “You shouldn’t gloat. It’s bad luck.”
The man laughed even harder at that. “Right. Keep that in mind if you ever manage to fulfill your wildest dream to get Natasha to pin you down in a more fun way.”
“I’m not having this conversation with you,” Wanda replied and used one hand to prop herself up. She got to her feet and glared at him. “Do you still want to fight or can I go take a shower?”
“You wish you could share a shower with-”
“Bye, Clint,” Wanda interrupted him so abruptly that he just laughed while she walked away.
Wanda was out of the door before he could say anything else but she had just stepped into the hallway when she walked right against a wall. Well, not a wall, she noticed when she looked up after letting out a small squeak. Steve Rogers.
“Oh, hi, Steve,” she greeted him. “Sorry, I didn’t see you there.”
“No problem,” Steve assured her with his sweet smile. “I also wasn’t looking. Are you done training?”
“Yes. Clint is trying to be funny.” Wanda rolled her eyes and heard his deep chuckle. “I thought you were resting.”
“I was but I’m kind of hungry now. Do you want to join me in the kitchen?”
“Yes. You and cap should have a tea party,” Clint said as he walked out of the room as well, not even trying to not hit her with his shoulder.
Wanda frowned and glared at him but the man simply laughed and walked away. Seriously, it was like sharing a house with a bunch of kids.
“I do make some pretty good tea,” Steve commented while giving her a little smile.
And Wanda was hooked.
She went down to the kitchen area with him, happily listening to him tell her about the mission and how it went. Wanda sat on one of the high stools, putting both of her elbows on the kitchen island and her hands clasped together while she watched Steve move around at ease to put some water on the kettle. He then walked to the fridge to find some leftovers he could warm up and Wanda couldn’t help but smile at the scene. A super soldier making some tea and eating old spaghetti.
“How were things while we were gone?” Steve asked after leaning back against the counter so he could eat and look at her at the same time.
“Normal,” Wanda replied, even though nothing had been very normal since the entire team decided to watch her every move because they thought it was so fun to see her little crush on Natasha. “Tony tried to make another movie night and was mad when Bruce fell asleep in the middle of what he called the best movie ever made.”
“Yes, sounds normal.” Steve rolled his eyes although the smile on his lips was fond. “Did you train with someone?”
Wanda shook her head. Ever since her training got less rigid - it happened after Natasha declared she was better in her combat skills enough to hold her own against their usual share of villains and after Steve was confident she could run without having a heart attack - Wanda didn’t go to the training room every day anymore. She liked to run in the mornings because it felt nice to clear her mind for the usual two miles she took and she enjoyed sparring sometimes just to learn some new move she might have missed before, but that was it. She relied a lot on her magic and Wanda was truly fine with it even if she knew Natasha would rather otherwise.
Steve too, though luckily he didn’t give her another long speech about the importance of training. “Well, I’m back now. We could train tomorrow morning.”
Wanda grimaced despite her best tries not to. “Sure,” she replied however because, well, she was a part of the team and people had to trust her. The man seemed amused by that, at least. “Maybe we could do that pair thing again,” Wanda suggested mainly because it was more fun to be paired up with someone while both of you tried to take down the other duo.
“I doubt Clint will be up before noon,” Steve said and finally put the now empty container down on the counter. The water was warm enough by now and he moved to grab two cups from the top cabinet - where Wanda could reach but where Natasha couldn’t, much to her disdain. “You want some too, yes?”
Wanda nodded in agreement. “We could ask Nat and Tony to join us, maybe.” Tony hated those sparring things but Wanda still wanted to make him suffer after making her painfully listen to him talk about sex.
Steve put one of the mugs in front of her, placed his palm on the marble and took a sip of his drink while looking at Wanda with amusement in his eyes. He waited until she drank some of it, watched her small grimace, and then chuckled when he pushed the sugar toward her. Wanda grabbed a cube and dropped it on the hot liquid before taking a spoon to swirl it.
“I once knew someone who put four sugar cubes in her tea,” Steve told her, grabbing her attention again.
Wanda’s eyes moved up when she noticed how much his voice had changed when he said that. Steve’s tone was something between longing and heartache, and his face showed something similar by the way his smile lost all strength. Wanda knew who he was thinking about. She had been inside his head once, she saw the woman’s face, and she felt his sorrow for the life that could have been.
It still took her breath away sometimes because Steve had loved that woman so dearly and then someone decided to transform him into a deadly weapon for the military and he lost it.
Since she didn’t know what to say - and because there was nothing she could come up with that would be truly helpful - Wanda reached out and placed her hand on top of his on the counter, squeezing his fingers tightly. Steve seemed surprised by it but he quickly offered her a small smile and squeezed her hand back.
“Love is a funny thing,” he whispered after a few seconds where he was probably debating with himself if he should keep talking or not. “It can give you the drive to be better, to do better, to fight more, to keep going. But it can also take away all of that,” Steve sighed, looked into her eyes, and tilted his head a little. “It can be a blessing and it can be a curse.”
“I know that,” Wanda replied carefully. “I thought I would never be able to smile again when I lost Pietro.” And there were still days where it was hard, where it was impossible to smile or eat or get out of bed or be reminded that she was still alive and her twin brother wasn’t. But there were days when she would be hit by the sudden wish to live for both of them, to try every milkshake and go to every beach and watch every movie. “I know they’re different situations, but I understand.”
“I know you do,” Steve smiled sadly. “You went through a lot already. More than most people would even be able to take.”
Wanda said nothing because she learned very soon that life wasn’t a competition of who had a more traumatic past, especially when she was part of a team where no one had an easy path to where they currently were. No one there had an easy life.
“Like I said,” Steve kept talking after he realized Wanda wasn’t going to say anything, “love can heal and it can hurt.”
“Steve,” Wanda smiled at him, “if you have something to say, just say it.”
He had the decency to look embarrassed and he averted his eyes for a moment, cheeks flushed and lips curled at the corners. “That was it,” Steve said eventually with a shrug. “That was all I had to say. Love can heal and it can hurt,” he repeated while taking the mug to his mouth again. “We need to be careful about it.”
After saying that, he took a sip of his tea and Wanda copied his movement just to keep herself busy for a while longer. “Thanks for the heads up.”
“It’s not my business, I know,” Steve admitted. “I just worry.”
“That I will break down and screw the team over if Natasha wants nothing to do with me and tells me to shove my feelings somewhere else?” Wanda asked without beating around the bush like Steve was. It was better when people were more direct about it, she decided.
The old man, though, grimaced and pursed his lips. “You’re spending too much time with Tony.”
“You should hear some of the things he said,” Wanda huffed but didn’t explain what she meant.
“I just worry, that’s all,” Steve said. “You went through a lot and… and some people might not be able to know how to deal with it.”
Wanda put her cup down. “That’s what every girl wants to hear, I suppose.”
His eyes went wide open after that. “No, that’s not what I meant. I didn’t mean like-”
“That’s okay, Steve,” she stopped him and slid out of her seat to go wash the mug on the sink.
“Let me.” Steve approached her to stop Wanda from reaching for the soap. He offered her a smile when she glanced up at him.
She could’ve argued if he hadn’t decided to join the large list of people trying to get their noses on her business. Instead, she let him take the sponge and the mug, thanked him for the tea, and left the kitchen. As she walked to the elevator, Wanda couldn’t help but wonder just how easily people could read her. It appeared like everyone living under the same roof as her could read her like an open book. It was very unsettling, to say the least. She wasn’t a spy like Clint or Natasha but Wanda was sure she should be better at keeping things inside if she wanted to join their hero thing club.
Wanda asked the artificial intelligence to take her to her floor and, seconds before, she was walking down the hallway on the floor she shared with Natasha. It was an entire floor just for them since they were the only women on the team but they barely ever used the small kitchen or the living room area. Wanda remembered being new to the team and seeing Natasha walking that corridor all sweaty after a training session, how her mouth felt dry and how her heart beat fast. She wondered if any of the people who had spoken with her before knew about that.
Tony and Clint would never let her live it down, Bruce might try to form some type of connection with her, Thor would probably give her a high five or something, and Steve would blush for days. How any of those men managed to be superheroes was beyond her.
Wanda sighed as she pushed the door open and then closed it behind her after she walked inside the room. She kicked off her shoes out of habit while debating with herself if she should jump into the shower already or rest for a couple of minutes, though that became an easy decision when her eyes landed on the bed. Wanda fluffed her pillow before her hand found a shoulder to gently push against.
She heard an unhappy groan that made her smile before the body on the bed turned around so Wanda was staring at the muscular back. There was a bruise and a small cut there, probably a memoir from the last mission, and she made a mental note to rub some healing ointment later. With another sigh, Wanda slipped under the covers, wrapping her arms around a slim waist and pressing her body against another one in a big spoon position she knew so well. Her nose immediately found the back of a neck between red locks and she took a deep breath in even if she knew there wouldn’t be any perfume to smell - people remember smells, she had been told once, and the goal is to go unnoticed.
“Where were you?”
Wanda smiled at the husky tone caused by drowsiness. “Your friends were either trying to kick my ass or to give me a shovel talk in reverse.” Tony had taught her what ‘shovel talk’ meant when he was telling a story once and Wanda was proud to finally be able to use it in a conversation. There were many American slang she was still learning about.
“Do I want to know?”
“Maybe later, after you had enough rest. You just came back,” Wanda said and then pressed her lips between shoulder blades.
That made Natasha sigh and grab Wanda’s hand that was resting on her stomach. The redhead pulled her closer, impossibly closer. “I’m awake now. Tell me about it.”
Wanda hesitated for a moment because she really wanted the other woman to be able to rest after returning from a mission but she also knew Natasha wouldn’t drop the subject. “Well, it appears that the entire team seems to think I have a crush on you.”
Natasha’s body shook with a chuckle against her. “Where on Earth did they take that idea from?” She joked while pushing herself back against Wanda’s body.
“I guess I’m an open book or something. Everyone has accused me of being in love with you or wanting to sleep with you.”
“They must be insane,” Natasha replied with a smile clear in her voice.
“They think I’m the insane one,” Wanda huffed a laugh and was about to tell the woman to go to sleep again when Natasha started to move. She removed her arm from around the redhead and patiently waited until Natasha turned around to face her, putting a space between them to be able to talk.
“How come?” Natasha wondered. “Please, don’t tell me these people think I’m literally a black widow or something.” She rolled her eyes at that because she could see it happening way too easily.
Wanda laughed. “No, but they do think you’re going to let me down gently. Or not so gently, I suppose. Bruce is pretty sure you’re going to break my heart in a million pieces, Steve thinks I’m too fragile to handle you, and Tony thinks it’s very likely that you would use me for sex and throw me in the gutter.”
Green eyes closed, which made Wanda pout a little because she loved staring at them. “Are any of them wrong?”
There it was. The self-doubting thing returning full force. They had talked about it many times before and Wanda never liked hearing Natasha put herself short. Bruce had made her a bit nauseous but he hadn’t lied about what Natasha thought of herself and her future. Wanda had only a few months to try to make Natasha see that she was allowed to be happy, that she deserved to be happy, that she shouldn’t punish herself for her past, but it was months against a lifetime of beliefs. Wanda knew she still had a long way before her words started making sense to the other woman.
“All of them, actually,” Wanda pointed out. “They didn’t even think you would ever spare me a look.”
“They’re stupid then. You’re a very nice thing to look at,” Natasha teased with a smile and cracked one eye open, which made Wanda chuckle and lean closer to kiss her nose, before she closed it again.
“We agree your friends lack some sense.”
“They’re your friends. For me, they’re coworkers.”
Wanda scoffed loudly at that. “No one believes that. You have a soft spot for them.”
Natasha sighed. “Just because they can’t figure out how to keep themselves alive without me having to save their asses all the fucking time.”
“Well, whatever is the reason,” Wanda said even if she knew Nat wasn’t serious, “they certainly aren’t my friends. They keep telling me to stop looking at you like you hung the stars or something like that. It didn’t make sense when Tony said it.”
“Maybe they tell you that because they’re your friends and because they care,” the redhead commented and opened her eyes again. “They don’t want to see you hurt. They care about you.”
Wanda didn’t have anything to say about that. She was a part of the team for a while now but it felt different to know those people cared for her, that they liked her, that they wanted her around. It was a strange feeling the whole ‘being wanted’ thing. Pietro used to be the only one to make her feel like that and it was hard to feel anything remotely like that ever since he was gone.
“They act like a gossip magazine,” Wanda said instead.
“They do, don’t they?” Natasha chuckled and silence fell around them for a few moments. Wanda was starting to feel sleep wanting to creep in and she knew she had to get up to take a shower before allowing herself to sleep but she felt so comfortable that it was impossible to move. She was about to ask Natasha to roll over again so they could sleep when the woman started talking. “And they think I don’t deserve you. That’s why they keep warning you to stay away.”
“No one warned me to stay away,” Wanda corrected her gently.
“They did and you should.” Natasha bit her bottom lip, looking too much like she was trying not to get emotional at that moment. “I’m broken. All sharp ends and hard edges. You’re soft, you can bruise and bleed.”
“Natasha, with all due respect, I spent the last few weeks hearing our friends try to say how I should or should not feel, sticking their noses in my business and basically saying I was too naive to make my own decisions.” Wanda paused to look deep into Natasha’s eyes. “I won’t hear it from you too. Not after I set there in silence and listened to them talk because they have no idea that you would be laying here in bed waiting for me to join you after you returned from a trip. We agreed not to tell them a thing, I get it, but you can’t agree with them in something like this. Not when you’re living this with me.”
Natasha’s green eyes filled with tears that never fell before she tilted her chin up to kiss Wanda’s forehead. Her lips lingered against her skin for a few seconds until they formed words. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s okay,” Wanda whispered back.
“And I’m sorry we hadn’t told them yet,” the redhead added.
They talked about it before - about safety, about how it was better if no one else knew, about how keeping them under wraps was better so no bad guy could use it against them - and Wanda now had more arguments to validate that decision. It would be great to see their reactions to find out how wrong they had been but it was also good to know they could keep living their lives without having them trying to get a say about everything. They all meant well, she knew that, though it was hard to remember that sometimes.
“It’s for the best,” Wanda declared with a shrug.
“Suppose it is. I mean, they all think I’m one step away from breaking your heart.”
“They only think that because I’m too soft,” Wanda told her when she noticed the slight pain in the woman’s voice again. “It’s me, not you.”
“You need to stop talking with Tony,” Natasha scoffed before she started to turn around again, apparently tired of the conversation.
“You just wait until I tell them that you bring me flowers sometimes,” Wanda teased her as she wrapped her arm around Natasha’s waist one more time.
“Don’t you dare,” the spy argued fervently. “I have a reputation to keep.”
“And you’re doing a great job at that because everyone thinks you would use a flower to poke my eye or something.” Wanda chuckled at the thought. “Oh, they will never believe it when I tell them about you taking care of me after a nightmare.”
“I’m warning you, Maximoff.”
“And that you rub my feet every time you kick my ass at training.”
“I’m starting to feel like kicking your ass right now,” Natasha groaned.
Wanda just smiled. “How violent. Maybe they’re right and I should take care.”
“Yes, I’m dangerous.”
As she said that, Natasha hugged Wanda’s arm between her breasts to kiss the back of her hand and Wanda thought how lucky she was to be sharing a bed with the big, bad, scary spy.
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monkey-d-ezekiel · 1 month
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Gear Reverse Theory (kinda)
okay hear me out. no the 3 week break is not messing with my mind. but WHAT IF Gear Reverse is an actual thing. we've seen Luffy in Gear 5 multiple times by now, right? and one of the consistent responses that Luffy has had to people acknowledging him as Sun God Nika has been essentially "Huh? I'm just Monkey D. Luffy!". Like he does not care for this Sun God business in the slightest.
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The point is, Luffy has never wanted to be any sort of hero or God, and he doesn't take kindly to his new gear (Gear 5) basically being called a reincarnation of someone else, specifically someone who was worshipped as a God of Liberation. He always clarifies that he's just Monkey D. Luffy and doesn't really understand this Sun God business.
But we've also seen it be stated that Zoan devil fruits have a 'will of their own' and in the case of Luffy's mythical zoan, the will of the fruit is that of Sun God 'Nika'. We've seen Luffy undergo a fairly noticeable shift in personality numerous times while fighting in Gear 5. While his major fights pre-awakening used to be tense struggles with him adopting a more serious demeanor, his recent fights have been more characterized by humor and goofiness. This seems to be a direct effect of the will of Sun God Nika or Joyboy coming to the forefront. In a way you could say that Luffy's will and personality is sort of playing second fiddle in Gear 5.
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We all know that Luffy is a headstrong and in a sense, selfish guy. He values his beliefs, personality and aspirations over the morality of a hero, as we've seen several times in the series. He was averse to Jimbei trying to frame him as a hero in FMI, and the same held true for one of his first interactions with Vegapunk, in which he seemed disenchanted at the thought of being some sort of hero. Oda seems to be indicating more than once that Luffy is yet to realize that his awakening has made him a reincarnation of a God.
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So what exactly will Luffy do once he fully understands what his fruit and its awakening entail? He's going to be unhappy about it. Luffy does not want to be a hero, and especially not when it comes with the added cost of having your will taken over by a mythical deity. and this is where Gear Reverse comes in. Luffy is going to be the first human to go beyond his awakening. Gear Reverse is going to be Luffy asserting his will over the fruit and making use of all its powers post awakening while also making sure his will is the dominant one, and not that of the fruit. I'm not sure how exactly Gear Reverse would look, but I think it would be cool if it was Luffy simply in his base form and nothing more, while still being able to fight in the ridiculous manner he does, turning the environment to rubber and such.
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I think one of the biggest indicators which point towards Luffy slowly gaining control over his devil fruit, rather than his devil fruit having control over him, is this panel from chapter 1108. It is in equal parts menacing and goofy, combining both those elements to create a terrifying atmosphere, and a bit of a departure from the overly humorous style of fighting that Gear 5 has been so far.
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Anyways yeah, there's probably a buncha holes in this theory, but I found the concept of an internal clash of wills within Luffy, between him and his devil fruit, to be pretty interesting and in character for Luffy, while also being a fresh and innovative direction for the series to take with Gear 5 rather than it just being a chosen one story.
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bagdaddyb · 7 months
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A Prehistoric Halloween
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Summary: Your first Halloween with Wanda and the twins.
Pairing: fem!Reader x milf!Wanda
Warnings: Fluffy fluff fluff.
AN: I love love love love LOVE milf Wanda. Can't wait to write more of her.
You stood by the front door with a large smile on your face. You were dressed up as a dinosaur standing at your girlfriends front door handing out candy. It was silly, but the twins begged you and you could never say no to them. You loved this holiday, it always excited you to see the new and classic costumes every year. But what made this year so special was it was your first Halloween with Wanda, not only your first Halloween but first big holiday all together. You'd been dating the red head eight months in the twins life for six and you were living on a cloud. Your life felt so perfect you often found yourself toxically waiting on the pen to drop on reality to hit. You're sure you could only blame past relationships for that mindset so you often pushed it to the back of your mind, choosing to enjoy the here and now. You handed out candy to the next set of children as you waited for your own family to get prepared in their costumes. Your mind raced with thoughts of Wanda and the twins. You were serious about this. With all of them. You wanted to wake up next to Wanda every morning, walk the twins to school, help them with their homework when they got home. You wanted to get a family cat or two, have barbecues in the summer and make smores in the winter. You wanted to make memories take family photos you wanted them. The smile couldn't be wiped off your face as the hopeful thoughts of your future raged on. Only snapping out of it once the door behind you opened. Tommy and Billy stepped out dressed as small dinosaurs, your matching costumes largely their idea that you were eager to take part of.
"(Y/N)! (Y/N)!"
They screamed simultaneously overly excited by all the commotion of today.
"Look look! We're a family of dinosaurs."
Your heart melted at the term. Happy tears threatening to fall.
"We look awesome. Let me hear your best roar."
The boys both roar at you loudly causing laughter to trickle out of you.
"That's very convincing I hope we don't scare anyone too badly."
"Well don’t you three look scary."
Wanda says with a light tone as she makes her way out of the door. She is dressed as a dinosaur as well but in a much more comfortable outfit a rather sexy take on a pterodactyl and you can't help the way your eyes wonder.
"Well are you two ready? We can probably hit the next two blocks before it gets too dark out."
You say as you place the bowl of candy on the porch for kids to grab. The two boys cheer in response waddling away with you and Wanda close behind them.
"Thank you for this, the boys haven't been able to stop talking about this all week."
"Of course believe it or not I may have been just as excited. This costume is actually pretty cool."
Wanda smiles softly intertwining her fingers with yours as you walk the crowded sidewalk of her neighborhood going door to door with the twins. As the sun sets and the night begins to chill you make the decision its time to wrap it up.
"Alright boys two more houses then we should head back. It's getting cold, and if we're going to watch the Nightmare before Christmas we need to start it soon."
The two dinosaur heads that nod at you in response before scurrying off causes you to laugh. Wanda's eyes have been sparkling at you all night. This halloween has been perfect. The twins haven't even asked about their father who bailed on them again even once. Upon returning to Wanda's you quickly get a few pictures with the twins and Wanda before stripping out of the costume letting out a sigh of relief.
"It was fun at first but after a while it started to get stuffy."
Wanda smiles at you knowingly helping you stash away your costume as the boys run off to change eager to return for hot chocolate and the movie.
"Tonight was perfect."
Wanda whispers to you and you wrap her in your arms covering her face in kisses. Light giggles leave Wanda as her arms wrap around your neck keeping you close.
"I'm glad I could make it so. I.... I love you and the boys Wanda. Here's to many more perfect halloweens."
You say as you lean in and kiss the red headed woman. Wanda can't wipe the wide smile off her face. It was the first time you'd told her you loved her. While she'd heard it and many other things in your in your thoughts many times she never spoke on it, wanting you to do it in your own time.
"Mom stop kissing (Y/N) I wanna watch our movie."
Tommy says causing a giggle from Wanda against your lips. You smile and let go of her moving to Tommy and scooping him up easily.
"You're just jelous you don't get any kisses."
You say sprinkling kisses all over the boys face causing giggles to screech out of him. Billy soon rounds the corner and gets the same treatment quickly scooped up by you before you carry them both to the kitchen for hot chocolate. As you settle in for the movie Wanda cuddled into your side. Billy in your lap, Tommy at Wanda's side you can't think of anything better than this moment. This was your family, you were home.
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bluetrapeze · 10 months
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Perfectly Flawed, Richard John Grayson
Thinking about Dick Grayson's relationship with being, in his own eyes, perfect.
He grew up with parents who were trapeze artists, one's who didn't use a safety net. They couldn't make a mistake, it was never an option.
He matured with Bruce Wayne, who's physically and mentally in peak human condition. He was the boy wonder, who saved countless lives. A mistake wouldn't just affect him, he shouldered the burden of responsibility for other lives.
He led the Teen Titans. He led other heroes, heroes who had superpowers, who were essentially demi-gods. Dick had to be perfect to keep up, and even that wasn't really enough. He was never the heavy hitter, he's normally the most fragile and the team member who's to deal the least damage.
But Dick's brilliant. He's a gifted leader, meaning he's a vital part of any team, even without the powers his fellow heroes possess. Dick Grayson knew from a young age that he would never match the physical might of many of those he fought, so he out-thought them. Brains over brawn, that's why Dick Grayson is so inspiring.
It's also probably why I detest Fandom Himbo Nightwing so much. Himbo Nightwing doesn't make sense, Dick Grayson isn't remotely himbo-like in canon. Portraying Dick as a guy who doesn't plan or isn't methodical just doesn't make sense and actually goes against his portrayal in the past.
I hope we never see the ridiculous fandom characterisation flatten and undermine Dick's character. He's driven by a need to be perfect, without that drive he's more Ric than Dick. (Bad analogy but you get my point)
More Reading:
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scekrex · 2 months
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Hey💕💕💕
Can I request that instead of Adam being killed by Niffty it was male reader? Like he blocked Adam to not be killed. If you can thank you 💕
Don't worry babes, I've got you! Here, my dear, is reader dying for Adam. Enjoy the pain.
For you I'd bleed myself dry
pairing: Adam x male!reader
warnings: language, major character death
note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers
Angels were being slaughtered by demons, golden blood flooded hell's streets and in the middle of it there was you.
Adam had been beaten by Lucifer, the king of hell and devil himself had broken the first man's nose and was probably also responsible for some serious skull damage. The mask the brunette had been wearing when you had entered hell had been shattered, the only thing left were shards.
Lute was nowhere in sight as Adam crawled out of the crater Lucifer had created when he had slammed Adam onto the ground, his body was shaking and his face was covered in blood and the only clear thought that you were having was ‘Protect him at all cost’.
Adam's voice was furious when he spoke, yet still overly cocky and confident, he was still Adam after all, a few punches from the devil wouldn't change that. However, while he was stating that the demons weren't allowed to end it, that this was his to do and his alone, there was a little demon girl sneaking up behind him. Completely enraged, he didn't notice her, didn't hear her wicked little giggles.
Your body reacted quicker than your brain was able to process things because you were between your boyfriend and that sneaky demon in an instant, shielding your leader and boyfriend with your own body. Blood spilled from the wound as your body collapsed against Adam's, your hands weakly reached for his shoulders in order to keep your body up, but it wasn't working. The demon girl, you weren't completely sure but you thought Charlie had called her Niffty, withdrew the knife as abruptly as she had jabbed it into your chest. Then there was another stab.
Adam was quick to turn around once you had collided against him, he caught you in his arms, too shocked to react properly as little Niffty stood on your back, slamming the knife down a third time. He was frozen with fear, and could only stare as the scene played itself out right in front of him. He wanted to scream, to let go of his boyfriend and pull that bitch off of you. He wanted to grab her by her throat and tear her head off with his pure hands. But all he was physically able to do was to stare.
His golden eyes filled with tears as the way too pretty looking golden blood spilled from your mouth. Your body was weak, it was losing blood way quicker than you had thought. You wanted to reach your hand out for Adam's face to wipe away his tears, to tell him everything will be fine, that you will be fine. But all that your body could manage was a weak yet honest smile.
Niffty jumped off of you and giggled as she happily rushed over to her friends, “Charlie told me to stab, so I stabbed.”
A marrow-shaking scream ripped from Adam's throat, finally, finally he was able to move again. He grabbed a hold of your body firmly, ripped a piece of fabric off his robe to press it onto your wound, desperately trying to stop the bleeding, but to no avail. It was too late, you had already lost too much blood. Nothing he could do would save you. “Fuck,” the first man cried out, he sounded as if he were in pain and emotionally he was.
First Lilith had left him for Lucifer, then Eve had betrayed him and now he had lost you too..
“Don’t fucking die on me, Y/N,” he mumbled as he held your head against his chest, you were able to hear his heartbeat. It was quick and uneven, it made you worry about him. “You can't fucking die on me, you hear me bitch? You can't fucking leave me too,” his voice was filled with desperation and pain and if you're vision wouldn't be fading black, you would try to soothe him. But your body wasn't responding to you in the ways you wanted, in fact it had gone numb a while ago.
Adam's tears fell from his cheeks and fell on your face. You shakily inhaled his scent one last time before your eyes closed, there was no energy left in you to keep them open. “No, fuck no, stay with me,” the brunette slapped your cheek, careful not to hurt any more than you already were. “Don’t fucking leave me, you can't-,” he wasn't able to finish his sentence. Lucifer came up behind him, a firm hand was placed on Adam's shoulder.
“Gather your angels and leave,” the devil ordered, squeezing Adam's shoulder painfully as he dug his claws inside the flesh of the first man. Adam inhaled sharply, yet he didn't pull away either. The pain Lucifer was causing was nothing compared to the pain that ripped his heart apart. He was numb, there was no feeling left inside his limbs when he picked your body up. The leader of the exorcists hated how cold you felt against his skin, how dead you felt. Your halo had been picked up and placed onto your chest, right above the stab wound. The grip Adam had on you would've left bruises if you were still alive. He was afraid you'd disappear, that you would turn to dust before he would reach heaven.
The first man turned to Lucifer, directly facing the blonde king. With red eyes and pain audible in his voice he hissed, “That was one fucking step too far. For this,” he lifted your body slightly, “you’re gonna pay with your life. I will come back, we all will. And we will tear you apart, rip you to shreds. There will be nothing left of you.” And with the threat hanging in the air, he forcefully pushed himself off the ground and flew back in the direction where the portal was located. “Exorcists,” he yelled loud enough for the entire pride circle to hear his voice, “Retreat. We're done here. At least for now.”
-
The brunette was sitting on the highest roof heaven had to offer. Your body had been taken care of, it had been properly buried and he was the one who had made sure all your wishes about your burial had been granted. The only thing left was your halo.
That was also a thing you had requested, for Adam to keep your halo once you died.
So there he was, sitting on the highest roof, the roof where you two had shared your first kiss, as he looked down at your halo. The second you had died it had lost its glow, oh how he missed the glow of your halo. How he missed his boyfriend. It was unfair, Adam didn't understand why God seemed to hate him so much. Everything Adam had ever lost had been taken away from him.
You were everything to him.
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chickenoptyrx · 4 months
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Out of all the 3 Saiyans, who do you think is the best uncle? Raditz, Vegeta, or Nappa?
...your asking me? The uncle raditz blog who posts uncle raditz being an uncle? Your asking me like this is even a question??
Well I'll tell you
Lol ok first off, get vegeta outta here. Idc what kinda supposed character development that lil gremlin gets later, this is pre-gettin the shit beat outta him by a peaceful low class fellow saiyan vegeta. That guys a fuckin bastard and I refuse to even engage with him as a serious option... but also I've talked about it before- my impression of him is he's already accepted the inevitable extinction of the saiyans as a race, he doesnt engage w any hope for the future and only wants personal power. 'Prince of all saiyans' is a fancy title to him, not a responsibility
Nappa i think has the most experience being around kids but thats a double edged sword- hes probably the most used to watchin comrades (and kids) die and just being fine w that, and I think he knows better than to be overly attached to an easy target :T Also think he's still primarily and exclusively loyal to vegeta as the sole person he's meant to be guarding and serving under. Don't matter how nice he might act in any given moment, if vegeta told him to kill someone, imo, he would without question. Thats his boss and their hierarchy is all thats left of their people and culture. Very 'make your bed even if you know the world's ending tomorrow' attitude.
Raditz on the other hand :D
Raditz is, imo, the best because he's the worst. He's strong by saiyan standards but he's the weakest in the group, so he knows what thats like but also he's gd desperate for for any kinda socialization that won't end in him bein denigrated. He probably knew more of regular saiyan life than Vegeta ever did, but he was still a kid when they lost their home so he's.. I think adjusted in a less rigid way than Nappa. And I think because of all this he'd actually kinda enjoy teaching someone, havin someone look up to him a bit, but without the responsibility of them fully relying on him. (10/10 uncle for sure but omg do not let this bastard be a parent 😅)
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