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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 300: Days of Our Todorokis

Previously on BnHA: Hawks was all “hey Jeanist, wanna go on a road trip with me to my mom’s house?” Jeanist was all “you know it,” and so they hopped into Jeanist’s jercedes and took off. Hawks took a nap and had a flashback to his Dickensian childhood living in a abject poverty with his jerk mom and jerk dad, thinking heroes were make-believe until one day Endeavor arrested his dad and Baby Hawks was all “OH SHIT.” And then he saved a bunch of people, and the HPSC was all “what do we have here,” and blah blah blah, you know the rest. Back in the present, Hawks was all “well my life is currently in shambles, but on the plus side there’s no one bossing me around anymore so that’s pretty cool,” and then decided he was going to talk to Endeavor. Fandom was all “I can’t believe Hawks would side with his childhood hero over the man who burned his wings off and posted a video calling him a violent murderer who took after his abusive dad,” so that was fun and stuff. I can’t wait to see what piping fresh takes this new chapter will bring.

Today on BnHA: Our old friend Carbonation Carl tries to loot a Starbucks and gets his ass kicked by a senior citizen. Society is all “YEAH, WE’RE REALLY STARTING TO GET SICK OF THIS SHIT.” Old Man Samurai is all “this room won’t stop me because I can’t read it” and abruptly decides to retire, which, fun fact, is literally THE LEAST HELPFUL THING ANYONE HAS EVER DONE. Anyway so then a bunch of other punkasses follow suit, and while I won’t say that I’m actually starting to root for Stain to kill some peeps, just for the record I’m not not saying that either. Back in the hospital, Endeavor cries some tears because his life sucks, and then is confronted by his entire family, LED BY QUEEN REI, FIRST OF HER NAME, BACK IN BUSINESS AND LARGE AND IN CHARGE. Rei is all “fuck feeling sorry for yourself, we have a rogue Murder Son on the loose” and I swear to god I have never felt so alive.

so here we go! and just for the record, even though the last two chapters have been phenomenal, I don’t necessarily have any sky-high expectations for chapter 300, mostly because chapters 100 and 200 consisted of Mei Boobs, and Toadette and her horrific quirk lmao. so go ahead Horikoshi, what are you gonna pull out of your hat for this one

oh, back to this stuff again. sob

I guess there was only so much time we could spend having hospital antics and exploring Hawks’s past before we got back to dealing with the whole “the world has gone to absolute shit” issue huh, lol

omg

what’s with these bizarrely cute Noumus. why do I want to pet them

so the narrative text is going on about how people have been super paranoid about the Noumu ever since the USJ incident a year ago. so yeah, I guess the fact that there are now a bunch of them confirmed to be running around is really freaking people out even on top of everything else

wtf is happening here

what did this poor lil glass ever do to anyone. r.i.p.

OH MY FUCKING GOD

SODA SAM IS BACK ON THE LAM

tsk tsk tsk. my man has graduated from snatching purses to raiding cafes. going after that big money. this man has no business sense whatsoever lmao

OH BUT WATCH IT NOW!!

OH SNAP THE PEOPLE ARE FIGHTING BACK. WHATCHA GONNA DO NOW SAM

THIS MAN IS 172 YEARS OLD AND HE’S NOT HERE TO PLAY GAMES!!

WTF IS HE LIGHTING THIS THING ON FIRE OR SOME SHIT. GETTEM GRANDPA YEAHHHH HE’S CHARGING AT EM YEAHHHHHH

lmao so that was fun. and now we’re cutting to Wash!! omg. look at him

he’s so dedicated. too bad you don’t have a car like Best Jeanist. probably takes a while when you’re just running everywhere

you see?? you were too slow!!

NOOOO, GRANDPA. he defeated Pepsi Pete, but lost his life in the process. this is too tragic

anyway so the good news is that the cafe has been saved! but the bad news is, there really isn’t much of a cafe left. huh. I guess that’s one of the reasons why people are supposed to get a license to use their quirks like this

oh snap and now everyone is coming outside, and they’re none too happy to see poor old Wash over here

seriously Wash, get a bicycle or something. also the way this guy is gesturing so dramatically with his hand in this sort of “YOU SEE!! YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!” manner is sending me

OH MY GOD

HE SPEAKS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS. IT MEANS JEANS PUNS ARE YESTERDAY’S NEWS, FOLKS!! MAKE WAY FOR THE LAUNDRY PUNS. CAN’T WAIT TO WATCH THIS ALL... UNFOLD

“the heroes had dwindled away” okay real talk you guys, it is literally only a matter of time before they press-gang the children into picking up their slack. I still don’t know how to feel about that, but it is happening one way or the other regardless. Child Soldiers 2 Electric Boogaloo. wonder if we’ll see a rise in vigilante action as well

OHO WHAT’S THIS? THIS IS A CHAPTER OF GRANDPAS HUH

-- no fucking way

WOW. WOW. WOWWWWWW

wow. so he didn’t do a fucking thing while the rest of the top ten were being turned into red mist in the previous arc, and now that it’s all over and they need his help more than ever, he decides... THAT IT’S TIME TO RETIRE. holy shit. “fuck you” doesn’t even begin to cover it my guy. you stand there and soak up those boos you coward

ohhhhhhh shiiiiit you guys. oh shit

the “I am not here” breaks my fucking heart for real though y’all. oh man. everything he worked for is gone just like that

(ETA: okay so a couple of the takes I’ve seen on this make it seem like All Might is somehow the bad guy here?? “this is what happens when society puts a bunch of glorified cops on a pedestal”, “finally the cracks in hero society are showing”, etc. etc. so, just a friendly reminder that this isn’t happening because of too much trust and a lack of critical thinking; this is happening because the villains killed all the heroes and broke a bunch of murderers out of jail. it’s happening because an organized league of terrorists succeeded in terrorizing, and so society is now understandably awash in fear and panic. like, it’s just wild to me that AFO is RIGHT FUCKING THERE, and yet week after week fandom still has their “IT’S ALL THE HEROES’ FAULT” signs still up on their lawns. BUT WHATEVER, MOVING ON.)

also though, so exactly how much time is passing here now? I wanted to go straight back to the hospital and see what happens with Deku and the Todorokis. please don’t tell me we’re jumping ahead sob. my aaaaangst

OH SHIT

STAIN. LISTEN UP BUDDY. I KNOW WE’VE HAD OUR DIFFERENCES, AND I STILL DESPISE YOU FOR CRIPPLING TENSEI AND TRYING TO KILL MY BEST BOY TENYA. BUT AS IT HAPPENS, THERE ARE ONE OR TWO OTHER HEROES OUT THERE NOW WHO I WOULDN’T MIND YOU PAYING A VISIT I’M JUST SAYING

LOL BUT IT ACTUALLY ISN’T THIS MAN, FFFFFF

sob. yeah I was talking about Old Man Samurai actually but YEAH. HEY THERE ENJI

also is this entire hospital actually run by characters from Super Mario Bros though. first Yoshi and now this guy, come the fuck on that is not a coincidence

lmao they stuck him in another one of these cavernous creepy hospital rooms

wtf is it with Horikoshi and these giant fucking rooms lately. Kacchan’s in chapter 298, then Tomie’s colossal house furnished with like one table and a TV, and now this. and the weirdest thing about it though is that “huge space with nothing to fill it up” is like the exact opposite of what you’ll usually find in Japanese homes lol

so now Enji is just sitting there thinking things like “my head is fuzzy” and “I’m alive” lmao okay. not quite all there yet, huh. I’ll give you a minute

I’m so fucking curious as to who his first visitor is going to be omg. either way it’s going to be interesting af, and either way fandom is probably going to feel some way about it but OH WELL

okay now his thoughts are getting more coherent! and he’s remembering Touya, and feeling regret for freezing up and forcing Shouto to deal with everything instead

!!! OH HERE GOES BRACE YOURSELVES Y’ALL IT’S ABOUT TO GET SPICY

NO TOUYA PLEASE DON’T CRY HONEY NO PLEASE

ohhhhhhh man

okay, I mean I didn’t expect you to, but so instead then you’re just going to do... what? lie there and wallow in regret and self-pity for the rest of your life? son you know that’s not how we deal with our problems here in Shounen

though also, I totally do get it though. honestly, thinking on it, I probably would have been disappointed with any other response. but so this is where the rest of his family (including his adopted son) come into play now though, because like it or not they’re all in this thing together. and so friends, I am once again asking you WHO IS GOING TO BE THE ONE TO VISIT ENJI FIRST

AHHHHHHH

KRANCH!!!! OMG AND THE OTHERS ARE SO TINY NEXT TO HIM THAT I ALMOST DIDN’T SEE THEM AT FIRST. IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE TWENTY MILES AWAY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS REGULATION HOCKEY RINK OF A ROOM

holy shit I’m so excited lkjlklhlglkasdsjldfk

SDKFJLSKHLKJL

the way she has him by his collar lmaoooo. “lol nah you’re not going anywhere pal.” damn straight, siblings have to be ride or die in situations like this. banding together for survival. strength in numbers

OH MY STARS I’M JUST WARNING YOU NOW THAT I’M ABOUT TO DISSECT EVERY LAST REMAINING PANEL OF THIS CHAPTER PROBABLY YOU GUYS. WE COULD BE HERE A WHILE

love how Fuyu has absolutely no idea how to segue into THE SINGLE MOST AWKWARD CONVERSATION SHE’S EVER HAD, so she just GOES FOR IT in pure small talk mode like they’re meeting up for brunch somewhere

I KNOW IT’S A SMALL THING, BUT I APPRECIATE THAT THE FIRST THING ENJI ASKS IS WHETHER THEY’RE OKAY

lastly while I can’t wait for more of this delicious Natsu angst, I also just have to say that Enji has as much reason to cry right now as anyone on the planet. you can’t deny that being confronted by your not-dead-but-you-thought-he-was-dead son who’s all “SURPRISE DAD I GREW UP TO BE A MASS MURDERER AND I HATE YOU AND EVERYTHING IS ALL YOUR FAULT AND NOW I’M GONNA MAIM YOUR OTHER KID” with a side order of “EVERYONE HATES YOU AND SOCIETY IS CRUMBLING AND NOTHING WILL EVER BE GOOD EVER AGAIN” is enough to bum pretty much anyone out. there’s a Pagliacci the Clown joke here somewhere. BUT DOCTOR, I AM THE NUMBER ONE HERO

oh man lol he is seriously falling apart

damn. like you guys, I’m sorry, go ahead and cancel me, but I do feel compassion for the man. it’s therapeutic for me to see an abuser actually feel remorse and be truly sorry and want to change and want to make it up to his family. and it’s also compelling as fuck to read a narrative about a family that’s trying to grapple with that, because let me tell you straight up, as someone who’s done a version of that song and dance -- it is exhausting. it is a piping hot mess. it’s a gigantic mishmosh of extremely volatile emotions that all somehow all contradict one another. love, hurt, hope, anger, betrayal, resentment, attachment, longing. it’s something you can both be desperate for and also want nothing at all to do with. and attempting to portray all of that and write about it is a monumental task, and one which Horikoshi has done so, so delicately thus far, and damn but I appreciate it. anyway, so I’m here and I’m ready for my latest helping of Todoroki Fam Feels you guys

GASP

oh man. OHMANOHMANOHMAN. CAN IT REALLY BE. IS THIS THE REDEMPTION ARC OF CHAPTERS 100 AND 200???

LMAO SHE’S ALL “WE ALL FEEL BAD YOU JACKASS STOP CRYING ABOUT IT”

LAY INTO HIM REI!! SORRY ENJI YOUR PITY PARTY HAS BEEN CANCELLED IN FAVOR OF A “SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT” PARTY COURTESY OF QUEEN ELSA OVER HERE. THE PEOPLE TOOK A VOTE AND WE WANT LESS WHINING AND MORE ACTION

oh my god look at this lady folks

NOTE THE HAIR BLOWING IN THE NONEXISTENT WIND. NOW WE KNOW WHERE SHOUTO GOT THIS POWER FROM

(ETA: btw guys, seeing Rei handle this crisis like an absolute champ despite everything she’s been through is everything, though. I’m reminded of Hawks’s line last week about people sometimes unexpectedly finding liberation when they’re backed into a corner. like things may be shit but goddammit her kiddos need her.)

THE CHAPTER IS ALREADY ENDING SOB, IT’S ONLY A 17-PAGER THIS WEEK, BUT GODDAMN WHAT A WAY TO CLOSE

oh my god. oh my god oh my god. AND FUCK YOU HORIKOSHI FOR CUTTING IT OFF THERE sob. it’s like each week the wait for the next chapter becomes more painful. the Todofam is about to get real, and on top of that Hawks is gonna crash the party at some point down the line, and on top of that we’re still waiting for Kacchan to have his own heartfelt discussion about What The Fuck Are We Supposed To Do Next with his best friend who’s currently in a coma. all I want to do with my life is read about these three things, and all I can do is simply wait as they are portioned out in agonizing, addicting little installments every week

anyway! tune in next time as we answer the question of whether or not fandom will finally run its train of logic all the way through to its natural conclusion and somehow manage to cancel Noted Abuse Apologist Todoroki Fucking Rei. don’t act like it can’t happen. you all know nothing is sacred lol. anyways but I’m ready for anything lol, bring it

#bnha 300 #endeavor #todoroki enji #todoroki shouto #todoroki rei #all them todorokis #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #I can't believe I've done 300 of these now lol #think I'm gonna finally have to update the post index again

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sevenkittensinatrenchcoat · 3 years

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Modern Munkustraps and Why 2016 Misto Is Boring (And Also Why Tugger Is Less Good Now)

So, yeah, this is a very long, poorly edited essay that is basically just me writing down a bunch of feelings about the Broadway Revival and why it doesn’t work for me. Of course, it’s not the worst thing out there and everyone can like what they like, but here’s one big reason why I don’t like this particular thing.

So, I’ve mentioned that, having seen the whole thing, I don’t particularly like the 2016 Broadway Revival of Cats. I adore the cast, I appreciate the effort everyone clearly put into it, and some individual numbers work well enough out of context, but it’s a case of strong parts forming a weak whole.

One of the problems I had with it was with the character of Mistoffelees. It should be clear to anyone looking around this blog that Mistoffelees is my favorite character in the show. I hate insulting any Mistoffelees, which is why 2019 Mistoffelees frustrates me so much. The moment I realized I’d become a fan of Cats was when I was genuinely angry when I learned that Tom Hooper cast a non-dancer as Mistoffelees. Basically, problems with Mistoffelees will motivate me to rant.

In 2016, the problem with Mistoffelees isn’t the choreography. I prefer the original to the new stuff, but Misto’s material was fine. Ricky Ubeda completely nailed the dance part of the role. Broadway Revival Misto is still worlds above Tom Hooper’s Misto in every way. Really, the problem with 2016 Misto is that it often feels like he isn’t there. He has very little presence. His dancing is impressive, and his dynamic with Tugger is cute and fun, but he has no real personality outside of it. I don’t know how he feels about any character other than Tugger. There are no moments that center around him other than his dance solos. He doesn’t seem to have much of an arc when it comes to saving the day at the end. Is he already confident in his magical abilities? Is he still unsure of himself? Is he trying to prove himself? How does he feel about anything that happens to or around him?

As a show with a large ensemble cast, it’s impossible for every single character to feel fully developed. But, in shows/stories with large ensemble casts, there are always a few characters who stand out. Instead of a single protagonist with one big arc, you have several main characters with their own small arcs. Munkustrap is the group’s leader who has to fight to defend his tribe. Demeter has survived an abusive relationship and she confronts her abuser and starts to move on, finding a potential partner who she can trust. In the 1998 film, at least, Mungojerrie has an interesting arc. He used to work for Macavity, but he left. When Macavity shows up, Jerrie’s terrified of him. He knows what he’s capable of and probably witnessed some really messed up shit. But, when Munkustrap is wounded and Alonzo is struggling to fight Macavity on his own, Jerrie is the first cat to join the fight. He doesn’t do very well, but this inspires other cats to help out as well, and Macavity is eventually outnumbered and forced to flee.

Mistoffelees is another character with an arc. He’s coming of age, no longer a child but not really an adult either. He’s trying to prove himself and be seen as an adult. He has magical powers, but he still struggles to control them and doesn’t know exactly what he’s capable of. Outside of magic and dancing, he’s awkward and doesn’t fit in socially with neither the kittens nor the adults.

When Old Deuteronomy is kidnapped, and everything seems hopeless, Mistoffelees really isn’t participating in the action. Although he’s publicly done magic before and other cats have noticed, Tugger’s suggestion that Mistoffelees might be able to help is dismissed by most of the group at first. But, Tugger is completely confident in Misto’s abilities. He’s the first cat to believe in him that much. Tugger hypes up Misto and his confidence builds until he’s willing to try using magic to bring Old Deuteronomy back and succeeds. He’s a hero now, and he’s known to have a skill that no one else possesses. He’s respected by the tribe. As someone who can be consulted in emergencies, Mistoffelees can now be seen as an adult.

Now, Mistoffelees didn’t always have this arc. The Originial Broadway Misto comes across as completely confident in his abilities the whole time. Actors who played Misto in the 80s tended to play him as the same age as Munkustrap, already one of the adults and already established in the tribe. But, starting in the early 90s, some actors started to play Misto younger and less secure. By the time the filmed 1998 production was done, that had become the standard way to play Misto. I think the actors cast in the role wanted to make things more interesting, since Misto getting Old Deuteronomy back is a bit of an anticlimax. There’s a problem. It’s solved immediately. On with the show. But this was a big, spectacle-heavy number near the end of the show. It feels like it should mean something, but it just doesn’t. Old Deuteronomy is easily returned to the tribe and then Memory happens and makes everything else seem meaningless.

But, what if Mister Mistoffelees wasn’t about getting Old Deuteronomy back? What if Mister Mistoffelees was actually about Mister Mistoffelees. Having the song be a moment when a young cat comes of age makes it feel like the song means something, even if the stuff with Old Deuteronomy is anticlimactic. Since it happens late in the show, there’s plenty of time to build up to it. Misto is on stage for most of the musical. His character can be established. We can see him trying to prove himself and failing to socially connect with the other cats. So, when he does prove himself and he does gain the approval of the cats who dismissed him as a weirdo, it’s satisfying. The song has a bigger impact when Mistoffelees is portrayed as a young man coming of age.

So, what does any of this have to do with the Broadway Revival? Why does the title of this essay mention Munkustrap when the essay itself is mostly about Mistoffelees?

Well, it’s because Revival Era Munkustraps have stolen Misto’s character arc.

The Broadway Revival isn’t the only version of Cats to do this. Tecklenburg actually constructs the story around it, making Munkustrap the protagonist. It seems like the changes to Munkustrap’s character started to appear when the show started getting revived. When I say Revival Era, I mean every version of Cats put on after the London Revival in 2014, though there are naturally some outliers. This was when Grizabella was redesigned and rewritten. This was when an attempt was made to redesign and rewrite Tugger, which was thankfully abandoned soon after.

Before this era, it wasn’t really confirmed to the general public that Munkustrap and Tugger were Old Deuteronomy’s sons. They were still often portrayed that way, but it wasn’t something anyone thought viewers needed to know. The dynamic between Munkustrap and Tugger began to change now that everyone was expected to view them as siblings. Tugger, instead of messing with every authority figure on stage, now tends to single Munkustrap out. He wants to annoy his older sibling. The Tecklenburg non-replica didn’t even bother showing anyone but Munkustrap being frustrated with Tugger’s antics. The vibe you get in these productions is that Munkustrap is the older sibling who is left in charge while Dad’s not home and he’s trying to be responsible, while Tugger, as the younger sibling, is constantly messing around and annoying him.

Compare how Munkustrap and Tugger interacted during Tugger’s number in 1998 vs. 2016. In both versions, Tugger crashes the party and Munkustrap is not amused. But, in 1998, Munkustrap stands back and waits for Tugger to basically get all that rebellious energy out of his system. If he has a few moments to run wild, he’ll calm down and act up less later on. So, Munkustrap just waits it out. As for Tugger, he never directly targets Munkustrap when he’s messing with the authority figures. He targets Jenny and Jelly, and Skimble by proxy, but he leaves Munkustrap alone. Both brothers have some silent agreement not to get in each other’s way.

In 2016, most of the moments where Tugger messes with an authority figure have Munkustrap as that authority figure. He’s more focused on annoying his brother than anyone else. He and Munkustrap are sort of bickering throughout the song, with Munkustrap being one of the cats who gets the “terrible bore” line. 1998 Munkustrap wouldn’t do this. He doesn’t get the “terrible bore” line because he’s too mature to insult Tugger like that. Instead, Misto, a more immature character does it.

These two different dynamics imply that Munkustrap and Tugger are in different age groups. 1998 Munkustrap tries to take the high road when Tugger crashes the party and Tugger has enough respect for him not avoid targeting him personally. The only exception is with the bagpipes in The Pekes and the Pollicles, and he was mostly doing that to entertain the others. He starts a dance party and then gets disappointed when it doesn’t work a second time. Munkustrap was already being annoyed by everything else that was going on as well, so Tugger’s antics don’t stand out in that regard. The vibe you get is that, though Tugger does like teasing Munkustrap a bit, they have a mutual respect for one another that they both take seriously. They’re both adults, too mature to bicker.

When Tugger targets Munkustrap with his antics and Munkustrap tries to argue back, they come across like two kids bickering. They both seem younger. This means that, in general, 2016 Munkustrap is played younger than 1998 Munkustrap. 2016 Munkustrap’s arc is about him learning to be a good leader, probably hosting the ball for the first time. He wants everything to be perfect so he can prove himself to his father. His defending the tribe and being willing to give Grizabella a chance are moments when Munkustrap begins to come of age.

So, 2016 Munkustrap’s arc is that he’s a young man, just coming of age, trying to prove himself, and eventually doing so. It’s not identical to Misto’s arc, but it’s pretty close.

And this is why 2016 Misto fails to stand out. Munkustrap’s arc makes Misto’s feel redundant, so he doesn’t have it. 2016 Misto already has Tugger supporting him from the very start and never feels like he lacks confidence. But, with Misto’s arc given to Munkustrap, nothing was put in its place, so Misto no longer has an arc. You don’t have scenes of him trying to appear mature and sophisticated around Bustopher, or his awkward attempt to help Old Deuteronomy and Munkustrap defend the tribe when Macavity’s around, or any of those other little moments that give Misto personality, because he no longer has the arc that those scenes are part of. There’d be no pay-off.

Honestly, the biggest problem with this isn’t that Munkustrap is different, but that his character was given this story and the expense of another character’s arc. Munkustrap already had a smaller arc that took a backseat to his role as storyteller and protector. He’s already the perfect leader, with his only flaw being his grudge against Grizabella. The main thing Munkustrap has to learn is the moral of the entire play. Outside of that, he’s the narrator and the straight man in the more comedic numbers.

This change also isn’t very good for Tugger. Tugger is not really a character with an arc. He doesn’t change any more than anyone else does. What changes, is how the audience, and some of the other characters, perceive him. In his own number, he’s fun, but he also comes across as a bit of a jerk. He doesn’t care what other people think of him, but that means he doesn’t seem to care about upsetting them either. His interactions with his fans sometimes demonstrate this. He just casually knocks over Tumblebrutus and Pouncival, briefly uses the latter as a chair, and then knocks them over again. Tumblebrutus and Pouncival both think Tugger is awesome, so they don’t mind, but that’s not a very nice way to treat kids who look up to you, even if they don’t mind.

But, then we get to Old Deuteronomy. Tugger appears again, interrupting Munkustrap, apparently being rude again, but then you hear what he’s actually saying. He’s also narrating about and praising Old Deuteronomy. At first, it’s kind of funny, because he’s just talking about how Old D got around, but then you get this line:

And his numerous progeny prospers and thrives And the village is proud of him in his decline

When he mentions “numerous progeny” he gestures over the crowd, ending on Munkustrap. He’s one of those numerous progeny, but he never gestures to himself. He never references himself as Old Deuteronomy’s son, but he does mention Munkustrap. This is followed by “and the village is proud of him”. After the “numerous progeny” line, it’s an awkward circle back to the main topic. But, Tugger seems to address Munkustrap as he says this. In his own way, he’s telling Munkustrap that he’s doing a good job and that everyone’s proud of him.

And then, when Munkustrap and Tugger duet, Munkustrap looks so happy about it. He didn’t expect Tugger to behave and he’s thankful for it. It’s a heartwarming moment and it shows Tugger in a new light. He was inconsiderate during his own number, but now he’s showing nothing but sincere respect for his family.

But, Old Deuteronomy is the ultimate authority figure of the tribe. Everyone loves him and he outranks Tugger. Having Tugger be so sincere here, in contrast to his attitude before, is mainly to show just how beloved Old Deuteronomy is. Even a cat who delights in pissing off authority figures has nothing but respect for him. The real stand-out moment is Mister Mistoffelees.

So, after the fight with Macavity, the tribe is in pretty bad shape. Their leader has been kidnapped and their protector is wounded. And, the kittens witnessed all of it. They saw Macavity kidnap Old Deuteronomy while they could do nothing to stop it. Macavity actually attacked Etcetera and Electra, who both tried to stand up to him. Jemima was right next to Etcetera when she was hit. Then, their protector, the strength of the tribe, someone they probably saw as invincible, gets beaten up in a fight. Munkustrap, when knocked unconscious, lands right in front of Electra, the kitten who seemed to have the closest relationship to him. Electra and Rumpleteazer try to wake him up, but they can’t. Mungojerrie can’t stand it and goes to take on Macavity himself.

So, there was a lot of violence and the kittens had front row seats. Now they’re all sitting in the dark with no idea what to do.

Then, Tugger speaks up. Right away, he has a solution. Tugger starts up a musical number and you can see the kittens getting into it like they’re at a rock concert. Not only does he have a solution to the big problem the tribe is facing, but he presents it in a way that distracts the kittens from what just happened.

And this is all without mentioning the subject matter. Unlike Old Deuteronomy, Mistoffelees doesn’t outrank Tugger and he doesn’t have the universal respect of the tribe. Tugger just thinks Misto is awesome and he’s singing an entire song about it. Misto was the cat who casually insulted him during his own number, but Tugger’s ego was unaffected. Tugger responds with absolute faith and support.

And Misto needs that faith and support. Throughout the entire ball, Misto has been trying to impress the authority figures of the tribe. Tugger, with how popular he is with the younger cats, has a lot of influence over the tribe. He’s an authority figure, in a sense. But, he was the only one in that category who Misto not only didn’t try to impress, but straight-up rejected. He doesn’t care what Tugger thinks. With everyone else in his generation either wanting Tugger or wanting to be Tugger, he stands out. Tugger respects that. And, Misto gets the approval he was looking for in the one place he didn’t bother to look. Misto finally getting that approval is what builds up his confidence so he can bring back Old Deuteronomy. And then Tugger gives him all the credit.

So, the audience is introduced to a character who seems egotistical and inconsiderate. But, he’s not. He never was. Tugger does things for the lulz sometimes. He likes to make a scene and he likes to make a mess. But, the Rum Tum Tugger is artful and knowing. He pays a lot of attention to the other cats and he cares about them. He loves his family, he looks after the kittens, and he gives support to those who need it. He’s actually not that different from Munkustrap.

But, the younger Tugger who bickers with Munkustrap comes across as more genuinely immature and it makes the more sincere moments feel out of nowhere. It’s hard for someone playing a younger Tugger to remain in character during the more serious moments. It just feels like whiplash.

Tldr: So, yeah, the point of this very long essay is that 2016 Munkustrap’s character arc, which has spread to pretty much every production of Cats done in the last five years, has the side effect of making Mistoffelees boring and Tugger obnoxious. It’s an alright arc for Munkustrap, but it sacrifices the arcs of other major characters in a way that a show with an ensemble cast can’t afford to do.

#cats 2016 #cats 1998 #munkustrap #mr mistoffelees #rum tum tugger #artful and knowing #i did an essay #a very long essay #someday i'll do an essay on how 2016 fails at comedy #especially the pekes and the pollicles

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study-coffee-chicago · 3 years

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Contract Killer (A Halstead brothers + Halstead! sister + Hailey Upton imagine)

Very, very loosely based off of season 2 ep 3 of PD titled "The Weigh Station".

What if Hailey's story meeting Jay is a little different? And it's all because of one big bad decision and seeing Y/N.

Hailey looked through her binoculars at the man who, if she could help it, would be dead within 48 hours. She could make it 24 if she really wanted to, but she needed to make sure she was alone and that she had time to get it to whoever needed to see him dead. Even though she was the one tasked with killing him, she had no idea who actually put the bounty out on his head. Someone she had put in prison (ironically, the reason they were in prison was for being a contract killer) when she worked in robbery-homicide had called her once they were out and told her about this opportunity. And, since Hailey had been fired from her job for a rumor that went around that she was sleeping with a superior officer and didn't actually pass the detective's exam (both were lies), she needed money, so she agreed to the hit.

A girl walked out of the house, surprising her. She looked too young to be one of Halstead's flings. She looked between 15 and 20 from where she was looking. Maybe she just had a babyface, though. Yeah, definitely just a babyface.

The girl walked outside and to her car with a backpack. She was starting her car when Jay Halstead ran out of the house and handed her what Hailey assumed was a textbook.

Shit, she thought, this girl's in high school or college, so it definitely wasn't a fling or a one night stand. If this was a younger sibling or relative that he was taking care of, then there was no way she was going through with this. When people were helping out their younger family members, well, that's where Hailey drew the line. She knew that Jay had an older brother, Will, but he was a doctor and could take care of himself. If Halstead had a younger sister that was still dependent on him financially or otherwise, well then there was no way she could do this.

Hailey pulled out her burner phone and called the burner number that was given to her in case she needed more information or she encountered any problems.

"JP," she started, "does Halstead have any siblings besides Will? There's a girl at his house and she looks too young to be sleeping with him."

She heard keys clacking on the other end. It took longer than she had expected. "Shit," JP said. "He's got a younger sister, Y/N Halstead. She's twenty and according to this, she lives with him since their parents are dead and she's in college. Need me to hand this off to someone else?"

"Yeah, you know I only did this for the money and my one drawback is people who are dependent on the people you want me to kill."

"What do you know about this guy?" JP asked. He assumed she didn't know much about him.

"They just told me that he was an ex-army ranger who killed innocent civilians in Afghanistan."

"God, they lied to you so hard, Upton," JP told her. "He's a detective with the Intelligence Unit of the CPD. And, he saved people overseas, he didn't kill them."

"Shit. I'm out. I'm definitely out."

Then, she hung up. But, she promised herself that he'd try her best to protect him. After all, she had taken this job, so maybe she could fix it by trying to protect him. She wasn't doing it for him, though. She was only doing it for his little sister. If it were just him, he'd be dead in less than two days.

***

You poured syrup on your waffles at the small diner you and your brothers had gone out to. It was a rare night where you didn't have any major studying to do, Will wasn't working or on call, and Jay wasn't working on a case or undercover, so you were all out for dinner together.

"How's school?" Will asked.

"You know, the usual. Homework, tests, papers," you answered.

"That's code for she constantly complains about how much homework she has, but does it anyway," Jay joked.

"At least I have less school than him," you said, pointing at Will. "And, I'll still get the doctor title."

You wanted to be a sports psychologist, which required a doctorate degree. So, instead of there just being one doctor in your family, there'd be two.

"And you're crazy to think that I'll address as Dr. Halstead."

"Hey, at least it's not a medical doctor," you pointed out, knowing Jay's hatred for needles and hospitals in general.

"But a shrink might be even worse, Jay. She'll be able to see through your shitty I'm fine excuses for how you're feeling mentally after you take yet another bullet."

"You've used up how many of your nine lives now? Four? Five?" you laughed.

"One day he'll realize he isn't invincible," Will said, agreeing with you.

Hailey was watching from afar when she saw a man in a black hoodie enter the diner. She didn't think anything of it, but in hindsight, she wishes she would have been able to look a little closer.

You heard a Pop! and then you were roughly pushed off your stool by Jay and onto the ground, all while hearing him yell.

"Get down! Get down!"

The shots continued and you screamed from underneath your brother.

"You're okay, you're covered," Jay told you.

And then, silence. The shots had stopped.

Slowly, Jay looked up, making sure the shooter was in fact gone.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he got up.

Before you could even answer him, Will was next to you, looking you over in a way that only a trained medical professional would.

"Did we- did we just get shot at?"

"We did," Jay answered. "But, we're gonna get out of here. I'm gonna call Voight and we're gonna figure this out. Did I hurt you at all when I pushed you off that stool?"

"No."

"Stay with Will."

And you did just that while Jay went off to call his unit.

Meanwhile, Hailey watched as squad cars pulled up a few minutes later. From the side of their cars, Hailey saw that Jay's unit was in the 21st district. Now whoever got hired to do the hit wasn't just going after Jay, he was going after his family. And, that's where Hailey drew the line. She knew where she'd be going tomorrow morning.

***

"Sergeant Platt," Hailey said as she walked into the 21st district of Chicago at promptly 8 o'clock the next morning.

"Goldilocks! What can I do for you?" Platt always had a soft spot for the young detective (hence the nickname) since she had responded to a call at her father's restaurant when Hailey was a kid and she was working the beat. And, they had kept in contact ever since. Platt may or may not have been the reason that Hailey got into the academy on her first try.

"I need to talk to you." Hailey looked around, and seeing a bunch of patrol officers, she decided this might not be the best place. "Alone. Somewhere preferably without cameras."

Platt gave Hailey a confused look but led her downstairs anyway. "What's going on?"

"So, I may or may not have taken a job to kill Jay Halstead, but--"

"Wait, wait, wait. I think my hearing is going. Did you just say you took a job to kill detective Halstead?"

"I said I may or may not have, but it's closer to may have."

"Jesus Christ, Hailey, I know you got fired, but why?" Platt asked, stunned.

"Before you tell anyone, once I learned he had a sister, I backed out. But, I needed money and I got terrible information because whoever wanted this hit said that he killed innocent civilians when he was overseas. So, excuse me for trying to rid the world of someone who I thought was the scum of the earth."

"So, you didn't even take one shot at him?" she asked, trying to figure out how she could keep Hailey out of trouble.

"Not even one."

"Please tell me you have useful information because I have to hand this over to Voight...and he will not hesitate to put you away if you have nothing useful."

"I have a name, but he won't get it unless my name isn't even mentioned with this case. And, I want to help. After all, it is kind of my fault this started in the first place."

"You are so lucky Voight owes me a favor, Goldilocks."

***

Hailey was currently sitting in Voight's office with Platt next to her. Platt had explained the whole thing to him, but Voight still wanted to talk to her. He had one more proposition.

"Since there's no evidence tying you to the shooting, I can't press charges anyway. Do you know who happened to have shot at Halstead and his family last night?" Voight asked, all of his anger was gone by now because he had used it up when Trudy Platt first came to him.

"I was there watching, just to make sure nothing happened. But, I didn't get a good look at his face. And, he reached into his pocket so fast and I was so far away that I didn't realize it was a gun. If I had known, I wouldn't have hesitated to try and stop him." Voight nodded. "All I saw was that the shooter was wearing a black hoodie. Sorry I don't have more."

"Okay, Upton, here's the deal," Voight started, "I need a name and I need someone to watch over Halstead and his sister during this, make sure his sister doesn't go out anywhere alone, and that Halstead doesn't do anything stupid. You can do those two things, and I'll leave your name out of this and you can work the case. You have my word."

"So, you want me to be their bodyguard?" Hailey asked, cocking one eyebrow.

"If you want to put it that way, yeah. Only certain times when we're short patrolman or it's nighttime because I know a lot of them sleep when they're supposed to be paying attention."

"Okay, I'm in. The name's JP."

"Any phone number? Other important personal information?" Voight asked.

"I called a burner last time I talked to him, but I doubt he's still using it. I can still give it to you if you want it though." Voight handed her a sticky note and a pen from his desk and Hailey quickly scribbled down the number and handed it back to him. "As for personal information, I know he has a son. I don't know his exact age, but I know he's at least 18."

"Good to know," Voight nodded. "Thanks, Trudy," she turned to leave, but Voight stopped her. "Can you send Halstead in? Need him to meet his new protection detail."

"Platt said you needed me, Sarge?" Jay asked as he entered Voight's office, closing the door behind him.

"Yes, Halstead, take a seat. Upton, you too," he added, seeing as Hailey was still standing.

Jay furrowed an eyebrow as he saw the new blond detective. She was short, had wavy blond hair, and was wearing jeans and a blue flannel, which she wore with the sleeves buttoned up to just below her elbows.

"Am I getting a new partner?" Jay asked.

"Something like that. Meet your new protection detail, Jay. This is detective Hailey Upton."

"Sarge, no offense, but I don't need protecting. If this is about the person who shot at me last night, I can handle it." He wouldn't admit it, but he didn't want a girl as his personal bodyguard. He'd dealt with partner problems in the past with Erin, and now that she was gone, he didn't want another workplace romance. And, he was more than capable of defending himself. Also, he wouldn't say this out loud, but if someone tried to come after him, he had doubts that she'd be able to protect them both, just because of her small stature.

"It's not you that I'm worried about. It's Y/N," Voight stated.

"Oh, yeah, of course." He wasn't going to lie, after last night he didn't want his sister going out alone either. Despite you being in college, he still worried about you.

"She'll only be there at night, just in case you get called on a case. That way, Y/N won't be alone."

"Is that really necessary? Every night until this gets figured out? Will can stay with her, he's got a permit to carry. So, the only time she really needs to be over there is when he's on a night shift at Med."

"Your- Will," Hailey quickly stopped herself, before she let Jay know that she knew that Will was his older brother, "Will's not a cop, is he?"

"No. My brother's a doctor. Why does that matter anyway?" Jay asked, annoyance in his voice.

"Because I'm pretty sure that I'm a better shot than he is."

"Another reason is that, if someone is really watching you, they won't think twice about Hailey being there," Voight said.

"What?"

"Think about it, Halstead. If a random guy is at your house all the time, whoever's watching will know someone's protecting you. But, if it's a girl, they won't think that."

Jay turned his head, digesting what his sergeant had just told him. "Wait, wait, wait, you want her to pretend to be my girlfriend? You want us off pretending to play house while my life, Will's life, and Y/N's life are in danger?" Jay was raising his voice at this point, and it kind of scared Hailey, but she remained calm on the outside.

At this, Voight slammed his hands on his desk. And, Jay didn't miss how Hailey jumped at the sudden action but quickly regained her composure. "Dammit, Halstead! She's staying with you and that's final! There will be a patrol car parked outside your and Will's houses at all times. But, I can't risk patrol falling asleep at your house at night, so Upton's staying with you. End of discussion." He looked at both detectives. "You're dismissed."

"I'm gonna go pack a bag," Hailey broke the uncomfortable silence between the two. "Be at your house tonight at 6?"

"Yeah. Here's my address." He wrote his address down and handed it to her. God, he had some explaining to do.

***

Hailey quickly scribbled a note to her boyfriend, thanking God that he wasn't home from work yet before she had to leave.

Going undercover. Don't try to call my phone. Don't want a repeat from last time. Idk how long this job will be.

~Hailey.

One time when she was undercover, she didn't have time to go home and grab her things; they just threw her right in with a robbery crew in hopes that they could bust them. They did, but not before her boyfriend, Zach, came looking for her and almost blew her cover. When they talked about it afterward, he said that he thought she was cheating on him, so he went to find her.

That should have been her first red flag.

Hailey shook her head at the memories and left their barely furnished apartment. After putting the address into her phone, she started the drive to the Halsteads.

***

When she got there, she knocked and was met with the one and only Y/N Halstead.

"Can I help you?" you asked, seeing a girl you didn't know with a duffle bag slung over her shoulder.

"I'm a friend of Jay's. Can I come in?"

"Uh, sure." You stepped out of the doorway to allow this mystery girl to come in. "Jay!" you yelled to your brother who was currently in the kitchen with Will. "Your friend's here!"

Jay walked into the living room, followed by Will, to see both you and Hailey. "I wouldn't necessarily call her a friend," Jay stated.

"Well, then your fuck buddy's here."

Will smacked you upside the head before Jay could even scold you for doing that. "Y/N, just go upstairs to your room for a bit to cool down," Will told you.

"I don't need to cool down," you argued.

"You sure as hell do," Jay told you. "Go upstairs. Now."

And that was the voice that scared you the most: Jay's stern, do what I say or else voice, which had you turning on your heels and almost jogging upstairs to your room.

Jay, Hailey, and Will made their way to the kitchen where Jay had been making pasta before Hailey arrived.

"Is she always like this?" Hailey asked, just now realizing what she had gotten herself into.

"Not typically," Will answered. "It's just that, after last night..." he trailed off, not wanting to say what actually happened in case Hailey didn't know or couldn't know.

"She knows," Jay said. "She's actually here to make sure Y/N's never alone through all of this so nothing like last night happens again."

"Oh, wow. Okay. Does she know that?"

"I was gonna tell her before she went off the rails like that," Jay answered his older brother. He turned back to Hailey. "I'm sorry about her, really. After last night, she's kinda pissed at me for putting her in danger like that."

Hailey furrowed her eyebrows, wondering if that was actually the truth. "You mind if I go talk to her?" She knew she might have been overstepping, after all, she had just met you, but she knew it was better than either one of your brothers talking to you.

"I guess it couldn't hurt," Jay agreed. "I'll show you your room too since it's right next to hers."

Hailey nodded and the three of them walked upstairs. They showed Hailey to the guest room, where she set her bag on the bed. It was a normal-sized bedroom, with a bed, a dresser, and a tv atop the dresser.

They walked next door to your room, and Hailey knocked on your door. "Hey, Y/N? It's Hailey. Can I come in please?"

"Are my brothers with you?" you asked as you slumped against your bed, tears of embarrassment rolling down your face.

Hailey tilted her head towards the stairs, silently telling the two boys to go back downstairs. To her surprise, they both actually listened.

"No, it's just me," Hailey confirmed.

"It's open." Hailey walked over to you, but not before you started apologizing. "I'm really sorry. It's just, a lot of things happened last night and I don't know how to feel and I just took all my emotions out on you. I'm really sorry," you told her, barely pausing for breath during your explanation.

"Hey, it's okay. Lots of emotions come out when you get shot at...especially when loved ones are in the picture," Hailey reassured you.

"How did you know about that?" It's not like you had seen her around here before, so she wasn't enough in the loop that Jay or Will would tell her. She wasn't in Intelligence. She wasn't one of the responding officers from the scene last night. And, she wasn't a customer at the diner at the time of the shooting.

"That's actually why I'm here. I'm essentially your bodyguard."

"Wow, didn't know I was special enough to have a bodyguard. Are you a cop?" Hailey nodded. "Can I see your badge?" That was one thing Jay had drilled into you: always ask a cop to see their badge.

Hailey handed you her badge and you quickly studied it, seeing it wasn't just a regular badge, but rather a detective's badge. "You're a detective?"

"Yeah, just like your brother," Hailey answered.

"So, do you know how long you're gonna be here for?" you asked, wondering how long another girl would be in the house. And, you didn't mind it, you liked her already, despite how rude you had been to her just fifteen minutes ago.

"As long as the case takes," she answered. "Now, are you good to go downstairs, or do you need some more time alone?"

"I'll be down there in a minute," you answered. "I just need to wash my face really quick."

A few minutes later, you walked downstairs to be met with Jay, Will, and Hailey all sitting at the table, plates full of pasta.

"Is that fettuccine alfredo?" you asked, looking at Jay. It had been your favorite dinner since the first time you went to Olive Garden when you were eight. And, after your mom died and your dad just kinda gave up as a parent, Jay took it upon himself to make sure that he made it for your birthday or any other special occasions you were involved in, such as your high school graduation.

"Figured you could use a pick me up after everything that happened last night," Jay answered.

"Thanks. And, I'm really sorry about earlier."

"I thought I raised you better than that," Will joked.

"You raised her?" Jay asked rhetorically. "I'm sorry, who is she living with right now? Who stepped up when someone was off partying in New York and feeling up girls?"

You almost choked on your pasta at Jay's description of plastic surgery. "First of all, they're called breast implants," Will pointed out. "Second of all, I cleaned up my act...eventually."

"Okay, let me answer this," you butted in. "Mom and Dad basically raised me, but you both helped me out when I was still a minor. There, problem solved."

"Fair enough, " Jay conceded. "But one last question: who taught you how to drive?"

"You."

"Which explains why she went into a ditch the first time she drove by herself in the snow and why she's always adding at least five miles to the speed limit," Will argued.

"Oh, shut up, Will. You drive like an old grandpa. I'm surprised you make it to work on time."

"Enough about us," Will started, turning to Hailey. "Tell us about yourself."

"Not much to tell. Born and raised in Chicago, used to be a detective for robbery-homicide until something, uh, popped off. And, now here I am," Hailey answered, easily avoiding saying that she was fired.

"Did you always wanna be a cop?" you asked.

"I guess I did. Someone broke into my dad's restaurant when I was a kid and I met the most badass female cop and from then on, I wanted to be like her. My dad wanted me to be a lawyer, but I thought that was boring, so here I am."

You nodded, thinking that it wouldn't be as fun to be a lawyer.

"Oh, before I forget," Jay began, "Y/N, as of tomorrow, all of your classes are switched to online."

"Okay."

"You're not mad about that?" Will asked.

"Oh hell no. Half the time I don't even get anything out of my lectures anyway. It just feels like time that could be spent doing homework for that class."

The four of you went back to your food, eating in comfortable silence. But, after a few minutes, you realized that you still had one more question.

"So, where am I going tomorrow? Am I staying here with Hailey or...?" you trailed off, secretly hoping you'd get to spend your days with the new detective. It was just nice to have someone with estrogen around the house instead of the amount of testosterone that was your brothers.

"Since Hailey's helping us work the case, you'll come to the district with me so that Hailey has time to sleep." That wasn't the real reason. There was a patrol car most of the time, but if they were short patrolman, Jay wanted to make sure that you'd be safe. And, the best way to do that would be for you to be in a building full of cops.

"Why can't I go to Med with Will?" you whined. Jay gave you a look that read you know why. "What? All I'm saying is the hospital has better vending machines than the district. But, I mean the district has better wifi, so there's that plus I guess."

"And you don't have to see Will's ugly mug all day," Jay joked.

"Hey! I'll have you know some women think I'm handsome."

"What women? Blind ones?"

And that's how the rest of the evening went, you all getting to know Hailey better and Hailey getting to know you all better.

***

You laid awake in bed, replaying the events of the day. You could see from the crack at the bottom of the door that there was a dim light coming from the hallway, so you assumed Hailey was still awake. Since Jay typically woke up at 5 due to his training in the military, they had agreed that Hailey would go to sleep at the time that he woke up and then would meet them at the district to work the case early in the afternoon. That way, she could still get some sleep and you'd still be safe during the hours that most criminal activity occurs. Despite this, you still couldn't sleep. It wasn't that you were scared, it was just that you felt terrible and knew that Jay deserved a better explanation as to why you lashed out earlier.

You got out of bed and quietly walked across the hallway, trying to be as quiet as possible so Hailey didn't run out of her room, gun drawn, thinking that you were an intruder. You opened Jay's bedroom door just a crack when you heard the tv playing in the background. Seeing that he was still awake, you walked in.

"Hey."

"Hey, what's up?" Jay asked, reaching for the remote and pausing the movie that was currently playing.

"I'm sorry about earlier, with the fuck buddy comment."

"You already apologized. Is there something you're not telling me?"

You moved to sit on the edge of his bed so that you were facing him. "It's just, yesterday when we were shot at, it made me realize how you could be gone so fast. I guess the reason I lashed out is that I was sad and scared."

Even in the dim light from the tv, you could see how much your words had affected Jay. "It's okay to be scared, Y/N. But just know that I have the best unit in the whole city that's got my back okay?"

"But they didn't yesterday and that's the scary part." You felt tears prick your eyes and knew that there was no point in holding them back, so you just let them roll down your cheeks. "If someone you put away gets out of prison and then wants revenge, they can come up to you and get you anytime, Jay. I- Me and Will thought we lost you when you got shot the last time. We can't go through that again. Because next time, you might- you might not make it. And, I need my big brother."

Jay sighed, trying to convince himself not to cry. You had never really talked about the night that he got shot trying to help Angela, and he'd be lying if it didn't worry both him and Will about how much you were bottling up those feelings. He thought you had gotten over it, hell he thought he had gotten over it, but last night had brought up those old fears for you.

Gently, Jay placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Hey, I need my little sister, too. I don't think Will can be as intimidating as me when it comes to boys either, so you need me." Despite your tears, your lips turned up into a slight smile at Jay trying to make light of the situation at hand. "And, I will always try my best to come home to you and Will. Always. And, you don't need to worry about me, because you'll be stuck with me at the district until we figure this out."

"Voight put you on desk duty?"

"I'm not thrilled, but he made the right call."

"Yeah, he did. And, you should talk to Hailey. She seems like your type."

***

When Hailey woke up the next day, she was surprised to look in the fridge to find a Tupperware container and a mug, stuck to both was a sticky note with her name on it.

Hailey, made extra for breakfast. There's eggs and bacon in here.

~Jay

And on the mug, he wrote:

Didn't know how you like your coffee, and I had some leftover in the pot this morning before I washed it, so it's yours. There's milk and creamer in the fridge and sugar in the cabinet to the left of the stove.

~Also Jay

Hailey smiled at his little notes and then put the food in the microwave. "Not bad," she said to herself after she took the first few bites. Then, she heated up the coffee and drank it as is...she liked black coffee, so she didn't bother with creamer or milk.

She started to get ready and then pulled out her phone. Y/N was probably bored at the district, so she figured she could grab her some good coffee on her way in. If the coffee at Intelligence was the same as the kind at robbery-homicide, she was sure that a twenty-year-old wouldn't like it.

You were sitting at the table in the breakroom when your phone buzzed, alerting you that you had a text message. Hailey had said it was her and asked what coffee you liked and mentioned Starbucks. So, you told her a vanilla sweet cream cold brew would be great and thanked her and also offered to give her five bucks when she got to the district. But, she told you she'd get it.

You went to rummage around in your backpack for a different notebook when Jay walked in. "How's it goin'?" he asked as he walked over to the coffee pot and poured himself more coffee.

"I don't know how you drink that stuff. The kind here is gross."

Jay shrugged, "Eh, you get used to it after a while."

"I guess," you agreed, grabbing your notebook but not zipping up your backpack.

"What are you working on now?"

"I have to watch some boring ass sociology lectures," you answered, opening your laptop.

"Ew," he took a seat next to you and started drinking his coffee, but not without knocking over your backpack. "No way," he said as he repositioned your bag and reached into it.

"What?" When you saw his hand in your backpack, you tried to grab it back, but he already had his hand wrapped around the object that you wanted to stay hidden. "Give her back!" you shouted as Jay ran out of the room with your stuffed cat in his hand.

You had brought your stuffed animal with you in case you had gotten stuck at the district overnight. Who knows, Hailey and Jay could be out working a case and you wouldn't have been able to go home. So, as a way of making yourself feel secure, you had put your stuffed animal, whom you affectionately named Kitty as you were three years old when it was gifted to you, in the bottom of your backpack. That way, if you had to sleep on the couch in the breakroom, you could tuck it away between the back of the couch and you, so that no one could see that you still slept with a stuffed animal.

"Jay!" you yelled, chasing after him, "Give it back!"

"Never!" he yelled back, running into an interrogation room. You followed him, hoping that he forgot to lock the door.

But, you were both lucky and unlucky as Jay was currently standing with his back to the door, keeping it closed despite how hard you pushed. You heard footsteps walking up the stairs into the bullpen, and he still wasn't budging. "Jay, someone's coming! Please!" you begged, not wanting the entire unit to know that you still slept with a stuffed animal.

You heard laughing from him on the other side of the door. "Give it back!" you tried again, fists pounding on the door.

"Give what back?"

"You know what!"

"No, I don't. What do I have that you want, Y/N?"

"Kitty. Now C'mon Jay!" You heard footsteps coming down the hall where the interrogation rooms were. God, you hoped it wasn't Ruzek; he'd never let you live this one down.

"You'll have to be more specific than that." Even though you could only hear him, you knew he was smirking on the other side of that door.

"Give me Kitty, my stuffed animal, Jay!"

"There it is." He opened the door just as you saw Hailey approaching the both of you. He quickly handed you back your stuffed animal and you hid it behind your back.

"Was that a toy?" Hailey asked, holding your coffee.

"Y/N sleeps with a--" you elbowed your brother in the stomach, and he groaned, which shut him up.

Then, you heard more voices. This wasn't good. You didn't have a jacket on, so had no way of hiding it on your way back to the breakroom. "Jay, I think they need you," Hailey said.

"And you got coffee for who?" he asked her.

"Y/N. Now go. They have to get you up to speed."

"They'll have to get you up to speed, too," he argued. "You just got here."

"Just tell them I'll be there in a minute."

Jay walked away, a smirk still plastered on his face because of how embarrassed he made you. When he was for sure out of earshot, Hailey held out her hand. "Give it to me."

"I don't know what you're talking about," you denied.

"The stuffed animal, Y/N. I'll hide it in my jacket on our way back to the breakroom and then you can hide it from there. I grew up with three older brothers, so I know how it is."

You handed it over to her and she placed it in her jacket, then you walked to the breakroom, but not without glaring at your brother on your way there. Once it was securely stashed in your backpack and you tried to give Hailey money for the coffee, but she refused as she had told you she'd do, only then did Hailey leave you alone in the breakroom to be with the rest of the unit.

"That was mean," Hailey whispered to Jay when she was in the bullpen.

"Something wrong?" Voight asked, looking at the two detectives.

"No, what do we got so far?" Jay asked, turning his attention to Voight.

Voight stuck a picture on the board, causing Hailey to swallow. It was JP.

"This scumbag is JP." Hailey wanted to say he wasn't as much of a scumbag as they probably thought, but since he associated with her boyfriend, Zach, and knew what happened in that apartment and didn't say anything, he was still sort of a scumbag. But, then again, Hailey hadn't talked about what happened in that apartment either, so maybe she was a scumbag for keeping Zach safe. But, he swore he had cut ties with Zach, so who knows what he'd do to keep himself out of jail. "CI said that he might know some information about who wanted the hit. Swears it wasn't JP, that he was just the person hiring."

Great, so she was a CI now, Hailey thought to herself.

"So we just get him to give up the guy who wants the hit done?" Ruzek suggested. "Simple enough."

"Not when he's not talking," Voight said. "He hasn't given us a single thing. But, we can hold him for 48 hours on conspiracy, so hopefully, he'll give something up or whoever wanted the hit will get sloppy within that time."

Hailey knew that JP wouldn't crack, so her only hope was that whoever wanted the hit would get sloppy.

***

"We have five more hours or this son of a bitch gets cut loose. So, do whatever you gotta do," Voight told his unit almost two days later. It had been 43 hours since they had arrested JP and so far all they had learned was that his real name was Joe Price. He wasn't talking and they were running out of time. "Upton, a quick word?"

Hailey followed Voight to his office and she closed the door behind them. "You mentioned JP's got a son who's at least 18. Anything you think we could use as leverage? Because at the moment, he ain't talkin'."

Hailey thought for a moment. "He mentioned once that his son was going to apply for the TSA, but couldn't get in because of a misdemeanor I think."

Voight nodded, thinking. "Maybe he'll flip if I get the charges sealed." Then, they left his office and he made his way to the interrogation room.

"We know about your son, JP," Voight said as he entered the room where Jay and Kevin were currently trying to get him to spill information, even though trying was useless at this point.

At this, JP lifted his eyes to meet the sergeant's. "What's there to know?" he asked bitterly.

"We know that he applied for TSA but can't get in."

"Yeah, because of this pissant obstruction charge from when he was eighteen. But, you don't really care about that unless there's something in it for you, do you?"

"You could say that," Voight started, walking around the table."Tell us who's behind this and I can get those charges sealed. It'd take time, but I can get it done."

JP pondered this for a moment. "You're not just blowing smoke up my ass?"

"You have my word," Voight answered.

JP nodded. "Patrick Shostack. New breed of contract killer. He'll kill the kids if he can't get to the parents. Take out an entire city block just for one target. What I did before I went in, there was honor in it. I've got the stomach for a lot of things, but not for this. This new breed, I ain't got the stomach for that."

"Can we get in contact with this Shostack guy?" Jay asked.

"He's got a messaging service. Whether he calls back, I don't know."

Voight slid a phone over to him and JP dialed the number. "Tell him you have Halstead," Voight told him. "You wanna make a deal. We'll take a photo of him dead. We'll rig it."

"And if he doesn't go for it?"

"Improvise."

JP left a message and then the three left the room.

"Think this will work?" Hailey asked Jay since she had been watching the interview from the next room.

"We'll see."

It had been ten minutes and Voight and Halstead were sitting in the interview room with JP, waiting for the phone to ring. Ruzek had rigged up a line so that they could all hear what Shostack was saying.

The phone rang, and Hailey held her breath.

"Hello?"

"JP." Shostack said on the other end. "Didn't expect a call from you."

"Well, I have something you may want, Shostack."

"And that is? I'm a man who desires many things."

"Halstead," JP answered.

"Thought you backed out."

Please God, do not say my name, Hailey thought to herself.

"I did. But then, I heard they were paying you more and I want in."

"What do you want?"

"Half," JP answered. "And you better make a decision quick because the drugs I pumped into him are gonna wear off soon."

"One third and we have a deal," Shostack told him.

"Deal. I'll take care of it and bring you a photo for proof."

"No, no, no. Just because I trust you, doesn't mean I don't want to see him alive. Well, I couldn't care either way to be frank with you. But, there's someone else who needs to see him alive."

Before he could even think about how what he was going to do could affect other people, Jay pointed to the phone and gave a thumbs up. "Deal," JP told Shostack.

They decided on a meeting place and then walked out. Hailey quickly grabbed Jay's arm and dragged him into the other interrogation room.

"What the hell was that?" she shouted. "Y/N was so worried about you when you guys were shot at the other day and now you're putting yourself in danger not even three days later!"

"Last I checked, your title was detective and not sergeant Upton. I can make my own choices!" Jay argued.

"Did you even think? Your choices affect other people besides you, Halstead!"

"I can handle myself out there! Have a little faith would you?"

"Someone wants your head on a silver platter and all you can think about is making this case! Do you even have regard for your own safety?"

Jay pointed an accusing finger at Hailey, inches away from her face. "You are just here to babysit Y/N. So get back to her and do the job you're here to do and I'll do mine...without you fucking interfering with it."

Hailey scoffed and left the room, leaving him alone. And, Jay went downstairs to get ready for the meet.

***

"Is he always a dick?" Hailey asked, walking into the breakroom after taking some time to cool off.

"Who? Ruzek? He never means for his jokes to go that far. If you tell him they're upsetting you, then he'll stop," you answered.

"No, not Ruzek. Your brother."

You turned to face Hailey dead on. "You questioned his abilities to do his job, didn't you?"

"Now that you put it that way, I guess I did," Hailey answered, trying to figure out why that would make Jay so mad.

Luckily, she didn't have to ask as you decided to explain. "That's one of the only times he gets really mad--unless I do something stupid like that comment the other day. Our dad was always telling him to go into the workforce instead of the military and then becoming a cop. He didn't have respect for what Jay did. He didn't have respect for what Will did either, which is why he had to put himself through undergrad and med school."

Hailey nodded. Stuff from your past coming into the present and making emotions run high was something that she was all too familiar with.

"Wanna watch a movie?" Hailey suggested, hoping that would keep you occupied until Jay and the rest of the team got back.

You opened Netflix and then started the movie, thinking nothing of it. Hailey on the other hand, was silently worried about Jay, even if he had just yelled at her. She was only worrying about what would happen to you though if something happened to him...at least, that's what she told herself anyway.

***

You and Hailey looked up from the movie when you heard movement in the bullpen. Seeing that everyone was back, you both left to see what was up.

The first thing you noticed was how red Jay's wrists were. "Jay, what happened?" you asked, walking closer to him.

"I learned that I could choke out a suspect when my hands are zip-tied in front of me." You put your hands on your hips, not appreciating his sass. "I'm fine, Y/N, really. Now, let the big kids do their jobs and go back and do whatever you were doing. I gotta go do an interrogation."

"Can I watch?" you asked.

"I'm sorry," Ruzek stepped in. "Did you just ask if you could watch Halstead do an interrogation?"

"Adam," you whined, "I'm bored."

"Then go for a walk or get food or something," he suggested.

"Dude!" Jay yelled. "She can't be alone right now!"

"Oh yeah, right. Go get something from the vending machines or something."

"Halstead, Atwater," Voight said, breaking up the little quarrel, "Go interrogate Shostack."

"Voight, can I talk to you for a second?" Hailey asked as you walked back into the breakroom.

You were scrolling through social media, trying to find something interesting that kept your attention, when you started to hear Voight and Hailey's conversation. His office was right next to the breakroom, and it's not like the walls were soundproof. You put in your headphones so that if anyone peeked in, it wouldn't look like you were eavesdropping.

"Just let me interview Shostack," you heard Hailey say.

"Hailey, I know you feel bad about starting this mess, but I can't let you in there. If word gets out that you were a snitch, then that would spell bad news."

What did Voight mean by that? you thought to yourself. How was Hailey in on the hit on Jay's life?

"Could be an asset. I might be able to say I know JP and then he'll tell me more."

"I gave you an out so that you could work this case and not get taken down for stalking Halstead and wanting to kill him. You go in there now, and the deal's off the table. I will bury you." Voight paused and you held your breath. "You said you took the murder for hire because you needed money. Why?"

"It's my boyfriend." Hailey was so quiet when she said that, that you had to strain your ears to even hear it.

"Is he hurting you?" Silence. "I can help you, Hailey. Just tell me what's going on."

"I'm gonna go. I promise you I won't interview him." Then, Hailey left Voight's office.

But, you knew one thing: there was no way you'd be staying at your house tonight with Hailey.

***

Hailey said that she had to take a shower, and Jay was still at the district doing paperwork, so you figured now was as good a time as any.

You knew there was a party going on a few blocks from here, so you decided you'd go. You grabbed your wallet and phone and slowly slipped down the stairs and out the back door. Now you just had to make sure that Jay didn't find out. You couldn't give a damn if Hailey lost her mind over your disappearance. She deserved it after all.

Jay was sitting at his desk, trying not to fall asleep when his phone rang. "Hailey? What's going--"

"I need you to ping Y/N's phone now! I got out of the shower and she was gone and I don't know where she is and she didn't leave a note or anything!"

"Slow down," he told her, even though he wanted to freak out as much as she was. "How long were you in the shower?"

"Fifteen minutes."

Jay cradled the phone with his shoulder as he typed away at his computer. "Is her car there?"

There was a pause as Hailey looked out the window. "Yeah, it's here."

"Okay, she couldn't have gone far." He moved his mouse to zoom in. "I got a location."

When you got close to the party, you decided you didn't really want to go there. If by some miracle Jay's unit found you, you didn't want to wreck their fun. So, you kept walking. That was until you heard your name being called from behind you.

"Shit," you muttered, breaking into a run.

"Y/N, stop!"

Dammit, that one was definitely worse. You looked ahead and then turned around. There was nowhere to go; you were cornered between two detectives.

You tried to dodge Jay, but he was too fast and quickly grabbed onto you and held you tight against him until you calmed down. "Stop fighting! Stop fighting, Y/N! We're going home! What the hell were you thinking?"

You calmed down enough to stop squirming, but you were still furious. "What was I thinking?" you yelled. "I was thinking that she--" You pointed an accusing finger at Hailey. "wanted to kill you. She got hired to do that hit, Jay! She was going to fucking kill you and you want me to be alone with her?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard her! I heard her talking to Voight earlier about interviewing that one guy and he said she couldn't because no one could know that she was hired to kill you! I don't give a flying fuck if you need the money, Hailey! Yow wanted my big brother dead!"

Still holding onto you, Jay looked directly at Hailey. "Please tell me it's not true. That she tripped and hit her head or something."

Hailey looked at the ground. "It's true but--"

"Unbelievable!"

"Just let me explain, okay?" Hailey argued.

"What's there to explain?"

"Just listen to the reason I needed the money!"

"So you needing money takes priority over my life!" Jay spat.

"God, I got bad information! They said you killed innocent people overseas and I didn't know you had a little sister, so I stopped when I saw that--"

"So you were stalking me?"

"Dammit, Jay! I needed the money to get away from my boyfriend! But like you fucking care! I was just starting to care about your life and now it's just become a big inconvenience!"

"Go home, Hailey! I never wanna see you again." He looked down at you. "We never wanna see you again!"

"Fine! Get a new protection detail because the person who wants you dead is still out there until Shostack gives Intelligence something!"

Then, Hailey got in her car and drove away and Jay finally let go of you. "Get in the car," he told you sternly.

"Jay, I'm sorry--"

"Just get in the damn car, Y/N!"

You walked over to the car and pulled on the handle. "Jay."

"What?" It took all his strength not to blow up on you when you were both still outside.

"It's locked."

He unlocked the car and got into the driver's seat, you in the passenger seat. "I'm sorry," was all you said as Jay started driving.

"You could've gotten yourself killed! Whoever this new breed of contract killer is, apparently they won't stop until they get me and they'll do it by whatever means necessary! So, excuse me for being worried!"

"It's not like I could stay home with Hailey when I knew she wanted to kill you!"

"But you could've told someone! You could've told me!" The next part, he said quieter, which almost made it worse than if he would've yelled it. "How fucking stupid can you get?"

It's not like he had never called you stupid, he had, but it was always jokingly and when you were kids. But, this time, it felt different, like he meant every single word he said. You put your hand over your mouth, to try and stop yourself from sobbing, but one came out anyway.

Jay didn't even seem to notice, just kept his eyes focused on the road and his jaw clenched.

When you got home, you jumped out of the car, not even waiting for Jay to completely put it in park. Then, you ran into the house, only to crash into Will.

"Whoa! Slow down!" he said, grabbing ahold of you to stop you from falling.

You yanked your arm out of his hand. "Let go of me!" you yelled and then ran straight to your room and slammed the door shut for good measure.

"What happened?" Will asked as Jay walked inside.

At this, Jay finally grasped the gravity of the moment and what he had done. "I fucked up, Will. I fucked up so bad."

"So, you let Y/N sneak out. That's happened to everyone. If I remember correctly, me and you did it all the time," Will said, trying to lighten the mood.

"This isn't like that and you know it." Jay paused and took a deep breath. "God, I should've never left her alone with Hailey."

"Why? What's wrong with Hailey?" Will asked. And so, Jay told him. And Will was as shocked as Jay was.

"What did you say to Y/N?"

Jay sat on the couch and put his head in his hands. He hated what he had done only because their dad had said the same thing to Jay when he was younger and you were in the room and defended your big brother, telling your dad that Jay wasn't in fact stupid, but smart. "I called her fucking stupid, Will." He rubbed his hands on his face, pissed at himself. "God, I did what Dad did that one day and she stood up for me. I'm a terrible brother."

Will sat down next to his younger brother and put a comforting arm around him. "Jay, look at me." Jay lifted his head. "You are not a terrible brother, you are far from that. She'll come around and realize that. Now, do you know why Hailey needed the money?"

"Said she needed it to get away from her boyfriend or something like that," Jay shrugged.

"Do you know where she is right now?"

"No, and I really couldn't care less."

"Jay, listen to me. She said she needed it to get away from her boyfriend."

At this, Jay's head snapped up. "Oh, God. Oh, God. I gotta find her. Stay with Y/N!"

***

"How was the undercover assignment?" Zach asked Hailey as she let himself into their little apartment.

"Was good. You know I can't talk about an open investigation, Zach."

"Hmmm, so you weren't working with other cops?"

Hailey looked at him like he was crazy. How did he know that she was working with Halstead? "No, it was just me."

Then, he pulled a gun from his waistband. Hailey put her hands above her head in surrender. "Zach, let's just take a moment to think this through. How about you tell me what you think happened undercover?"

"And you'll answer my questions honestly?" he asked, but with a gun now pointed at her, it was more like a command.

"Why didn't you kill him?"

"Kill who?" she yelled.

"Jay Halstead! Why didn't you kill him?"

I don't know what you're talking about!" She lied, but then instantly regretted it as Zach took the gun and hit her in the stomach. She reached for her gun in her holster, but then Zach took his arm that wasn't holding the gun and twisted it behind her back. Hailey screamed out in pain and she screamed loud.

***

"Shostack," Voight began as he was pacing back in front of Patrick Shostack who was handcuffed in the cage, "you tell me everything you know about who wanted Halstead murdered and how and why a Chicago PD detective got brought in to kill him. Only then, when you tell me everything, will I even consider making a deal."

Shostack was already beginning to bruise from where Voight had hit him, so he decided it was in his best interest if he talked. He had heard rumors about this dirty cop and he knew that Voight wouldn't think twice about killing him to get answers. "The person who wants Halstead dead is Zach Grey."

Voight pulled out his phone and texted the name to Ruzek, telling him that they now had a suspect and to start going through everything about this guy. "What can you tell me about this Grey? How'd he know Halstead?"

"They were in the army together. Apparently, Grey wasn't good at following orders and made really stupid decisions out in the field. So, Halstead told their supervisor about it, and after a few more mess-ups that almost cost the unit their lives, Grey was dishonorably discharged."

"Why wait this long?" Voight asked.

"Dunno. I know Grey just moved to Chicago two years ago from California. He got a girlfriend and then he hatched this elaborate plan to get her to kill him."

"What's the girlfriend's name?"

"I don't know her name, man. I just know she was short and she was blond. Pretty little thing. Apparently, she was a cop, too. He figured that if anyone could get away with killing Halstead, she could."

"Did she know Grey was behind it?" Voight asked, thanking God that Hailey was with Jay because that description Shostack just gave him sounded a hell of a lot like Detective Hailey Upton.

"Not a chance. He called me and I got her to agree to the hit."

"I thought JP got her to agree to the hit?"

"That's where things get tricky. I used a voice modulator to disguise my voice. I told her, that if she needed money, she could kill this guy. I told her that Halstead killed innocents overseas and that he had no family other than his older brother, Will. Once she agreed to it, I gave her a number to call."

"And that number was JP?"

"Yeah. I think he knows Grey but doesn't know that he's the one behind all this. Told Upton that JP'd know what to do since he'd done it before. And, then it was all up to them after that. Didn't know she'd flip and try to help you, though. Now that was a shock."

"Did you know that Halstead has a little sister and that he's also a cop?"

"Yeah, but Grey told me what to say and promised me some of the money if the hit went through."

"Boss!" Adam yelled as he ran downstairs. "You gotta come see this!"

"We're done here," Voight said, turning back to Shostack and then going back upstairs into the bullpen.

Kevin turned the screen of his computer towards Voight. "If we got the right Zach Grey, then Hailey's got some explaining to do." In front of him was a picture from Instagram of Hailey and Zach, Zach kissing her on the cheek and it was posted only a few weeks ago.

"Please tell me you got an address for this prick."

Ruzek flipped through some papers and pulled one out. "Here's his LKA."

Voight nodded. "Let's roll out. I'll loop in Halstead."

Before Voight could even get a word in edgewise to the young detective on the other end of the phone, Jay butted in. "Did you know that Hailey was gonna kill me?"

"I know, but she backed out because she had gotten bad information--"

"You sound just like her! Why are you defending her?"

"She was trying to get out of a bad situation! Shostack told us everything, just trust me on this one. Please tell me that she's with you."

"She's not. I'm driving around looking for her right now. She said she needed to get away from her boyfriend before she left."

"Shit. Try this address."

Voight gave him the address, but Jay was wondering how they had gotten it. "How do you know where she is?"

"Does the name Zach Grey ring a bell?"

"We served together. I got him dishonorably discharged because he was being reckless and me and other guys almost died because of him. But, why is this important?"

"He's the one who wants you dead, Jay. He found out you were in Chicago and since he's Hailey's boyfriend, he figured she'd be able to get away with killing you."

"But he told her that I was the scum of the earth and didn't know I was a cop or had a little sister, so then she backed out," Jay said, piecing it together.

"Exactly."

"I'm on my way to Grey's place. Hopefully, he has no idea Hailey's been with me because Grey's got a temper."

Jay turned on his lights and sirens and sped through Chicago and into a more rundown place on the southside. He knew that Grey wasn't the best with money just based on how much he gambled overseas, so it made sense to him why he was living in this dump of an apartment complex.

Jay flashed his badge at the person who worked "security" and then made his way to the third floor, gun already drawn. He redialed Voight's number and held the phone between his shoulder and his ear. "What's your ETA?" he asked, creeping closer and closer to the apartment.

"Two minutes out."

Then, Jay heard an ear-piercing scream coming from the apartment where Grey was supposed to be. It sounded like a woman. It sounded like Hailey. "Sarge, I'm going in."

"Halstead, do you have protective gear?"

"Yeah, I grabbed it when I went looking for Y/N. Don't worry, it's on." Then, he ended the call.

"Chicago PD!" Jay yelled and then kicked in the door.

"Jay! Get out of here! He's gonna--"

"Shut it, bitch!" Zach twisted Hailey's arm even more, causing her to scream out in pain.

"Listen, Grey, I know you're pissed at me for what I did all those years ago, but Hailey didn't do any of that. You gotta let her go, man," Jay pleaded, gun trained on Zach.

"She was supposed to kill you!" He moved the gun so that it was now against Hailey's temple.

She whimpered, terrified. He had thrown her gun across the room, so she had no way of defending herself, not that she'd try with a gun against her head. She knew what to do in these situations, which was, wait until a moment of weakness and then get him. Or, wait for backup.

"You want me, right?" Jay asked, putting his hands above his head, gun still in hand. "Take the gun off her and point it at me."

"No!" But all Hailey got in response was Grey digging the gun further into her temple.

"Drop your gun," Grey ordered.

"Okay." Jay dropped the magazine out of his gun and then set it down on the floor.

"Now kick it away."

"Kicking it away," Jay narrated as he kicked his gun across the room.

Only then did Grey take the gun away from Hailey and point it at Jay. "Any last words Halstead?"

Now was Hailey's chance. He was distracted so Hailey swung around and knocked the gun from his hand. The minute the gun was on the ground, Jay jumped into action, tackling Grey as Hailey run at the guns, making sure that Grey couldn't get them. Jay flipped Grey around and pulled out his cuffs. "Get up," he told him after he was finished handcuffing him.

"Chicago-- Oh," Ruzek said as he and Voight entered the apartment to see Grey already handcuffed.

"Let's go get him booked," Voight said. Then, he looked at Hailey. "You should probably get to the hospital just to get checked out."

"I'm fine, really," she protested. "And I don't really want to spend the night in the hospital. It's the least I can do to help Jay with paperwork anyway."

"I'll call Will," Jay said as he handed Zach Grey off to Voight.

***

"Where's Jay?" you asked Will as you walked into the kitchen. You had cried enough and now needed to rehydrate.

"He went to go find Hailey."

That's when it hit you. I needed the money to get away from my boyfriend. Shit, he was hurting her.

"It's all my fault! If he hurts her, it's all my fault, Will!" you yelled.

"Hey, hey, no it's not," he said, taking the water glass from your hand. "We don't even know if he's physically abusing her. It could be emotional abuse. We could be wrong altogether. Don't worry about it."

You sighed and took the glass back to get some water. "Thaks, but that doesn't make me feel any better."

"I think there's hockey on," Will said, changing the subject. "Let's go watch that."

"Yeah, I guess. I'll be right back." You finished your water and put the glass in the dishwasher. Then, you went to your room to grab a blanket.

When you looked on your bed, you saw it was missing something. Kitty. Quickly, you grabbed your backpack and dumped out its contents. "Shit," you muttered as you realized you had left it on the couch of the breakroom at the district.

You ran downstairs, blanket forgotten. "Will! We gotta go to the--" He held up a hand, effectively silencing you. It was only then you saw that he was on the phone.

"Yeah, it's in my car. Yeah, I'll bring Y/N. We're on our way," Will said to whoever was on the other end and then hung up.

"What was that about?" you asked. You had a right to know because, from what you had heard, you had to go somewhere with Will.

"We gotta go to the district. Jay wants me to have a look at Hailey's shoulder, says she doesn't want to go to the hospital this late at night."

"Oh, okay. Can't be that bad because if it was broken or something Voight would make her go to the ED right?" you asked, partially blaming yourself.

"I'd hope so. Let's go."

You were walking up the stairs into the bullpen fifteen minutes later when one of your worst nightmares came true.

"Hey, did some kid leave their stuffed animal here?" Ruzek asked, holding up Kitty as he exited the breakroom.

You and Will shared a look that you hoped nobody else saw as you made your way over to Jay and Hailey. You were about to open your mouth and admit it was yours because you figured, if you didn't do it in the next few seconds, Jay would do it for you. But were surprisingly saved by Hailey.

"It's mine," Hailey lied. "My mom gave it to me and I wanted to get it out of the apartment before it became a crime scene."

"Oh," Ruzek said, furrowing his eyebrows and handing it to her. "Here you go I guess."

"Thanks."

When he turned around, Hailey handed it to you and you quickly shoved Kitty into one of Jay's desk drawers.

"Y/N, I just wanna apologize--"

"No, you were in trouble and trying your best to get out of it." Then, you stooped down and whispered in her ear, since she was sitting down, waiting for Will to examine her. "And you told Adam that that was yours, so it's the least I can do."

"So, we're all good?" she asked.

"We're all good," you confirmed.

"Now, let's take a look at that shoulder," Will said, unzipping his doctor's bag.

After a few minutes, he declared that it was just a light sprain, so it should be fine, even though it might hurt like hell.

"Good, because I need her to be okay," Voight said, exiting his office.

"What do you mean?" Hailey asked. It's not like she was one of his detectives.

"You helped us solve this case and led us to Grey. This wouldn't have been possible without you, Hailey," Voight told her.

"Thank you, Sergeant."

"Since Kim's on furlough right now and Erin left to go to New York, this unit is short...especially on female cops. What you did earlier, disarming Grey, you proved you can handle it here. So, what do you say? You wanna stay?"

"I'd be honored," Hailey answered, breaking out into a smile.

"Welcome to Intelligence, Detective Upton."

A/N: That was long! Sorry, it's taken me so long to update! I got a few ideas and never stuck with them until this one! Please vote and comment and tell me what you thought! Do you like more upstead centric stories or do you like the ones that mainly focus on Y/N and the Halstead bros? Also on my wattpad @ malewk172

#jay halstead #will halstead #chicago pd #chicago med #hailey upton #fanfiction #imagine #chicago pd imagine #halstead! sister #halstead sister imagine #reader insert

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hopeshoodie · 3 years

Text

I can’t believe it took me until part 8 to do my favorite boy but

Here are the pros and cons of dating

Noah

Cons

Noah is really non confrontational, so he tends to let issues fester. It’s not that he’s trying to let things build up, it’s just that he doesn’t think they’re important enough to bring up. He won’t start a fight about them when they’ve built up, but if MC is angry about something he’ll mention that there’s a bunch of things he’s let go but not have specifics. It ends up coming out like ‘yeah well what about all the other things?!’ ‘what other things!?’ ‘I don’t remember!!’. He’s not actively keeping track of all her mistakes, he genuinely does forgive and forget, but then when tensions come to a boil he needs to point out that there has been conflict that he just ignored. He’s not trying to guilt or gaslight MC, but sometimes it feels like it. If she thinks especially little of his intentions, it feels like he’s just pulling things out of thin air to be mad instead of focusing on the issue. That’s not what he’s doing- he just doesn’t address little things until they feel like big things. But of course he hasn’t done the introspection to truly understand how doing this is hurtful or articulate that he doesn’t mean it to be.

When he and MC disagree, he lets things go wayyy too easily. This is fine if MC is a really mature, self-reflective person who can see that she’s crossed a line after the fact. But if MC is a little more selfish/immature, like Lottie, this is a huge con because he doesn’t give her accountability that would help her grow. We saw this with Hope- she wasn’t able to recognize how harmful her temper was when she was dating Noah because he never pointed it out, he just rolled over. If there’s a genuine problem- financial, emotional, logistically, he’ll ‘let it go’ until it’s a way bigger problem (and much harder to solve).

Sorry that most of these cons are about how he fights with people, but that’s what we saw in-game lol. I’d love to know more about how Lucas or Rahim fight with their partners. But when you’re arguing, Noah tends to focus on really little details of what you said instead of listening to the whole thing and getting a sense of the bigger picture. So let’s say the issue is ‘Noah, I need you to tell me when you’re borrowing my car because you took it to the gym and then it went from having enough gas to get me to work in the morning to being on empty. This morning I had to stop for gas and that made me late.” The issue there is actually ‘please tell me when you’re using my car”, but he fixates on the gas part and says “well fine I can fill up your tank”. So he focuses on little details that he can fix instead of acknowledging the actual problem.

He internalizes things so fucking hard. Yes he intellectually knows that when MC gives him feedback on things she’s talking about his BEHAVIOR and not him as a person, but he definitely feels like shit about himself if he makes a mistake and MC calls him on it. He’ll definitely beat himself up about things for weeks after it happens, and his internal dialogue in general is pretty toxic.

I can see him being a bit of a workaholic. Not in the same sense that Camilo is in Boat Party, but Noah definitely will go into the library on a day he’s scheduled to be off if he has projects to work on or will stay late because he got engrossed in research. Same thing now that the library’s closed because of COVID- it takes him two times as long to put everyone online and work from home, so he’s spending more time working than ever. He views it through the lens of the ‘greater good’- getting that display set up for the patrons is more important that seeing his wife two hours earlier because many members of the community outnumber one person. Plus he just cares so much about his work that he has a hard time seeing it as an inconvenience to other people.

He loves his family so much. Even when MC and he get married and have kids, he struggles to prioritize them over his siblings and parents. So if his little brother Arlo needs money, Noah won’t hesitate to give him a loan even if he and MC are struggling financially. If his aging mom or dad can’t live alone anymore, Noah will invite them to move in with his family, even if their house isn’t big enough to accommodate more people. I can see this being a huge point of contention, especially in that second scenario where MC would have to take on a caretaker role as well. Noah just wants to help people so bad and has a hard time saying no, so that can sometimes impede his partner.

He’s really used to living on low income, and so he has a lot of frugal habits and concessions that he thinks are normal that someone more middle or upper class might find irritating. These are all coming from my experience and things partners have complained about- but think things like only eating out once a month or refusing to turn the heat on until it’s dangerous or making his own laundry detergent. He grew up doing them out of necessity (and still does, student debt on a public librarian’s budget? I couldn’t do it), so he doesn’t realize how strange or frustrating his habits might be to someone who isn’t used to it. He also has a really hard time justifying spending excessive amounts of money, so if MC has lavish taste there’s going to be some conflict.

He doesn’t like initiating anything. Conversations, activities… you know *smirk emoji*. He will, but the ratio of when Noah suggests something to when MC does is like 1:8

My boy is beautiful, and his clothes look lovely, but he has 7 outfits that he rewears all the time. The closest thing to fashion is him putting a different button up shirt underneath his vest. It’s definitely a joke at work that he wears the same sweater, button up, and quarter length shirt just in different colors. You know that vine where the teacher walks into the room wearing the same shirt in different colors, saying the same ‘hello’ for like a million days. Noah’s coworkers remake that with him, because that’s exactly what he does.

He’s a bit of a homebody, and loves routine. For me, massive plus, I love that. But for someone who wants to party regularly or be spontaneous, I can see constantly changing plans and going out with people being really draining to Noah. He has a small group of close friends, so he’d struggle to remember MC’s friends' names if she has more than five. Don’t get me wrong, Noah will take MC to galleries and dates at least three times a month, but it has to be discussed and scheduled in advance.

Pros

Honestly, what isn’t a pro about him? Noah is a steadfast, thoughtful, and kind person. His politics are about taking care of people, providing them dignity and respect, and building community. He loves his family and is incredibly patient. He’s incredibly smart but not at all classist or condescending about it. I know this is supposed to be about how the islanders affect the person they’re dating, but oh my god he’s such a good person I love him. Let’s just say the pro for this is his positive aura.

He’s really good at group dynamics and listening, so he goes out of his way to make everyone feel heard and valued. If someone says something and no one acknowledges it, he’ll specifically engage with them so they’re not left hanging. If someone’s trying to get a word in but can’t, he’ll get everyone’s attention then say ‘so and so had an idea’. He’s not one to boisterously laugh in group settings, but he always makes eye contact and smiles if you make a joke that flops or say something he agrees with. If people are teasing about something, he picks up if it’s gone too far really easily and will gracefully change the subject/tell them to knock it off.

He’s super conscientious about respecting boundaries and ensuring the people around him are taking care of himself. If MC and him are long distance and texting after 10pm, he’ll be like “I love you, but we’ve both got to sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow”. He’ll always check and make sure people have eaten when meeting up with them, and if they haven’t he’ll insist they get food from somewhere. 100% gives you his jacket, brings you water bottles, in general just wants you to take care of yourself.

Above all else, Noah just always ensures the people around him feel safe. The last thing he’d want to do is make people uncomfortable, so safe driving, safe spaces, safe sex are all musts. He’s really good in crisis situations because he can calm people down and encourage them to think critically.

Building off of that, he’s really aware of how much of the housework is being done by who and always tries to ensure he’s doing his part. I bet that was a big thing he ripped on Rahim for- Rahim expects his woman to clean up after him and do the bulk of the domestic work, and Noah knows that’s bullshit. I think Noah likes cleaning, anyways, and will usually take laundry/disinfecting bathrooms/cleaning dishes over cooking or running errands. But the mental load of keeping track of recipes/groceries that need replenishing and keeping up with kids needs, he’s aware of the imbalance and does his part. Obvious plus, because it sounds fucking exhausting to date a man. He fucking hates vaccuming though, and will splurge on a roomba.

He has a dry sense of humor that’s very based in puns and hyperbole. Sometimes it’s hard to know when he’s joking or not, but he never makes you feel bad for missing a joke or dwells on something for too long. He absolutely subscribes to the Mcelroys’ No Bummers rule, there are some things you don’t joke about and he’s happy to shut down inappropriate comments or ‘jokes’. He definitely prefers physical gaffs and dumb ways of saying things, so his favorite comedians are John Mulaney and Chris Fleming. While humor isn’t an important part of how he relates to other people, Noah enjoys being around funny people and won’t shut down their energy like Rahim, Marisol, or Hope.

This is just me projecting again but Noah is generoussss. Even though he doesn’t make a lot of money at the library, he still has a ‘mutual aid’ budget each month (and goes over it often). He’s the first one to give money to panhandlers, donate to gofundmes, and give friends/family personal loans. That definitely gets him into sticky situations sometimes, because he has a hard time saying no and can get taken advantage of, but ultimately I think it’s a pro because he’ll never forget where he came from and always prioritize helping other people.

He has a really pretty, deep singing voice and this is a pro to me because fuck I meltttttt.

The shit he says to his partner or spouse? THE most romantic thing in the world. You think Mr. “you’re made of stardust” doesn’t shower his lover with the most meaningful lines at random times? You think he’s not quoting sappho and jane austen when he’s at a loss for words? You think he’s NOT going to turn over in bed on a lazy Saturday and say ‘this is the most perfect my life will ever be’? It’s not even prompted either, yes he’ll compliment Bobby or MC when they get all dressed up for date night, but more often he’ll profess his adoration in the middle of dinner, then take another forkful of food.

Fantastic with kids, and this is a huge pro because people who can work with kids and be patient/positive with them make me so fuckim soft. But if/when (hopefully when because if MC didn’t want kids I don’t think it’d last) they had kids, Noah is happy to be on bottle duty, wake up early to the baby, and generally be a really involved parent. He’ll take a big chunk of paternity leave, and generally be there as much as humanly possible. Even when they have multiple little tyrants running around, he always makes time to be alone with MC and make sure she’s not taking on too much.

He’s basically a lesbian, which is definitely a reason I love him so much. Hear me out- loves milfs, loves 80s music, communicates affection through meaningful glances and playing with hair but will die before explicitly saying any of it, crushes on his best friend for the longest time but never makes the first move, puts way too much emotional meaning and personal metaphors into objects and then presents them as gifts, is into fandoms and actively collects pop figures, is attracted to assertive/powerful women, wears beige skinny jeans, wears VESTS….. That’s a lesbian. He’s a bisexual man, but he’s also an honorary lesbian.

A really good confidant. Noah’s an amazing listener and never judges people harshly- his life philosophy is as long as you’re not hurting anymore or yourself, everything else is details. So you can definitely tell him secrets and confess regrets to him and he’ll listen with those soft eyes and gentle nods. Talking to him about mistakes always feels like unburdening yourself. And he’d never tell your secret to anyone. Doesn’t matter if you cheat on him, lie to him, or die, he’s never going to tell anyone your secrets.

#litg #litg noah #pros and cons

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thirstyforoc · 3 years

Text

🎂

I know his birthday was a couple days ago but my brain doesn't work that well and I'm always early for everything else, I can be late for this.

Here's something to read that's probably not great and wordy and rambly and really only relevant to my own interests. I had to hammer this out because I just had to and it took longer than I expected because I can't shut the fuck up. Read it if you feel like it or don't, I'll still love you either way.

Using real names so don't keep going if that bothers you. I didn't post the picture but I make a reference to that one pic of him at Medieval Times, you know the one, at least I hope you do. Enjoy.

Idk, I just like picturing every single birthday Dustin and Jim have spent together since they became friends. Sue me. I have too much time on my hands and like to think about their relationship so I have to get this out. Here. Take it.

It's early in their friendship, a few years in. They're in Philly for a show and Dustin knows it's almost Jim's birthday, he's aware it's coming up but he forgot what day it fell on and that it was so soon until Jim brings it up. He's never super sober or super clear on what day of the week it is, that's just how he lives. If anyone has a problem with it that's on them. Jim never seems to take issue with it though. Maybe that's why their friends?

It's the Friday before his birthday. They're hanging out at Dustin's place before heading to the show and Jim reminds Dustin when his birthday is. "Tuesday? Your fucking birthday is on a Tuesday this year? Gross. Jim Day on a Tuesday. Lame."

Jim laughs a little, the soft laugh he always gives Dustin when he's being a certain kind of ridiculous or obnoxious, like he can't believe he's saying what he's saying. "You know I don't get to pick what day my birthday falls on, right? Tell me you know that. I need to hear you say you know that."

"I mean, yuck. What's there to do on a Tuesday?"

"I dunno. I don't really have any plans this year." Truth be told Jim's not all that concerned with how he's going to spend his actual birthday. Perhaps he'll do something with friends or family back in Jersey? Maybe he won't. It's not a big, special, milestone birthday or anything. No reason to go all out.

Dustin absolutely, positively will not shut up about it. No matter how many times Jim grunts or rolls his eyes Dustin just keeps talking and babbling about how it's a crime for someone's birthday to fall on a Tuesday. Jim's on the verge of asking Dustin exactly what is wrong with Tuesdays anyway when Dustin pauses to look right at him. "We should just start now."

"Huh?"

"Today."

"Today?"

"Yeah. Like, spend the whole weekend partying. Today is your birthday. Tomorrow is your birthday. Keep the Jim Day train on the tracks through Sunday, Monday, your actual birthday. You said you didn't have plans, right? Just stay. You'll stay and it'll be like...like one long birthday instead of a fucking boring ass birthday on a Tuesday of all days. Yeah, you'll stay and...and you'll stay and we'll find things to do every day. So, you'll stay." It's never a question. It's already been decided that Jim's going to agree. Dustin never sounds uncertain, says it with such confidence. He's not fearful even for one second Jim might say he isn't down.

Dustin wants him to stay so Jim does. Sure, he's got things he could be doing at home, was planning on staying maybe through Saturday and heading back Sunday morning, Sunday evening at the latest but he could stay. Yeah, he will stay. Dustin wants him to stay so he's staying.

Work will go on without him. He'll call his family and tell them something came up. If his parents or siblings are upset they can find a way to celebrate his birthday once he's home and recovered from what's bound to be a bender if he knows anything at all about Dustin. Dustin wants him to stay. He'll stay.

Man, go home where he's made no plans, where there's no party, and most of all no Dustin or have the time of his life all weekend with one of his best friends? Wow, that's a hard choice. Dustin really seems to want him to stay so he's staying.

Friday night they head to the nearest bar after the show is over, close down the damn thing and stay up laughing and talking on Dustin's couch for three hours once they get back. They're not even paying attention to the time, neither one cares. Drinking and partying with all their wrestling friends was fun but at the end of the night it's nice that it's just the two of them. It's nice.

The next morning is a bit rough. Ok, they aren't conscious until afternoon but 2pm counts as morning when it's Dustin and Jim you're talking about. Saturday-it's Saturday, right?-is pretty much the same only the drinking begins much earlier, like pretty much as soon as they're both showered and get some food in their stomachs. Day drinking is a lot of fun, so much fun that a short nap is necessary before they head out to meet their friends again. Actually, they kind of passed out together on the couch watching tv, it was completely unintentional and unplanned. They probably would have slept the rest of the day away if not for Dustin being startled awake by Jim's loud snoring. "Thank god we don't live together." Dustin thinks for a moment while watching Jim sleep. Well, maybe that wouldn't be all bad. Whatever, can't think about it too long, they have to get up.

Saturday night is even wilder than Friday night. They drink too much. Way too much. They're tanked. Bombed. Blitzed. Completely fucked. Dustin kept buying them shots and when their bar tab got a little too high he simply shifted to telling everyone who would listen it was Jim's birthday, coaxed a bunch of other drunks into buying them more shots.

Sunday is the worst. They're suffering when they finally roll out of bed and off the couch for good and both agree easily, immediately they should take it easy today. There's a shitty, cheap diner close to Dustin's place so they stop there to eat dinner, share a huge plate of greasy diner food that Dustin pays for. Friends keep asking if they're coming to the bar again but both of them are in rocky shape from the night before. They sit Sunday night out, convalesce on Dustin's couch quietly, chug water and make small talk while they recover.

Monday evening Dustin takes Jim to Medieval Times because the little guy has talked about it so many times since they first met, drops hints constantly about how he wants to go-not this weekend but Dustin remembers him mentioning it-so Dustin figures now would be good. It's the little hunk's birthday after all.

On the drive there they swear they're going to take it easy, agree to have a couple glasses of wine with dinner and call it good. What a crock of shit. After cracking open their third bottle of the night Jim insists he's going to sit on that throne because he'll look badass so Dustin follows. He follows his little drunk blond friend everywhere, why wouldn't he? Gotta keep tabs on him, make sure he's safe, keep eyes on him. Jim doesn't ask but Dustin takes several pictures of him on that throne, laughs the entire time because Jim is hilarious and fun and cute, really fucking cute, especially with almost two bottles of wine in him.

"Ooh. C'mon." Jim grabs Dustin's wrist so fast he damn near drops his phone, leads him towards the photo booth in the lobby. The little shit is lucky Dustin has some cash on him, Dustin can tell from the look on his face he isn't going to take no for an answer. Jim shoves Dustin in first and almost crashes down on his lap, drunk on wine and apparently really fucking excited about them taking pictures together.

The booth is tiny. The seat is narrow. Jim's a compact little guy but Dustin's certainly not. To say they're crammed in there would be an understatement but they manage. Dustin forgets to look where he's supposed to look, far too preoccupied with staring at the little blond planted on his lap. "King for a day." Jim laughs, flashes Dustin a huge, vibrant smile as he points to the novelty crown on his head.

Maybe Dustin's going soft? Maybe he had more wine than he thought? Maybe they've spent a little too much time together the last few days? Maybe. Maybe not. All Dustin knows is it's easier for him to blame the urge to kiss Jim right in this photo booth on one of those things instead of being honest with himself and admitting he has feelings for the guy.

"Maybe Jim shouldn't have such pretty pink lips if I can't kiss him." Definitely can't say that out loud. Hold on. Rewind. Go back to the beginning. Jim's drunk and smiling and the booth is still snapping pictures of them. "Say something that doesn't involve his lips, you moron!"

Easier said than done. Dustin's brain makes it sound so simple. The truth is it's really difficult, borderline impossible to stop thinking about his pretty mouth. Jim's still looking at him so Dustin smiles back, reaches over and brushes his fingertips across Jim's cheek. "You're always a king to me, baby." Why the fuck did he say that? He would have been better off just kissing Jim. Jim just laughs, a huge, easy laugh that goes on until the little voice in the booth tells them to wait outside for their pictures to process. Jim climbs off his lap and the moment is over, gone, finished just as quickly as it came. Oh well. Maybe next time. It's not like Dustin's going to forget he wants to kiss him anytime soon.

They're so drunk at the conclusion of their night at Medieval Times they need to leave Dustin's car there and catch a cab home. Whatever. He'll have someone drive him back so he can pick it up in the morning. They had fun. No harm done. A friend gives them both a lift to pick up Dustin's shitty old car and they're already out so they kick off Tuesday by going out for brunch. It's a lot pricier than the greasy spoon diner by Dustin's place and they'll both be broke by the time they're done celebrating but that doesn't really matter does it? Birthdays only come once a year and today is literally Jim's birthday. It's Jim day.

They're full of delicious food by the time they're through and stop at a liquor store to buy supplies for mimosas to drink at home because they both agreed it'd be the cheaper route. They're not trying to get hammered, just sip throughout the day and maintain a nice buzz until it's time to head to the bar. It's Tuesday. Fuck, when did they start this again? Who cares. It's Tuesday. It's Jim Day. It's not until almost midnight on Tuesday that Dustin realizes neither one of them has bothered to talk to a single girl all weekend. Huh. Weird.

Shortly after midnight they toast with a couple shots of whiskey. They call it a night before last call and pick up the most unhealthy food they can find on the way back to Dustin's place, devour it while relaxing on his couch. That's where they fall asleep too, Jim slumped over in a heap on Dustin's shoulder, Dustin simply smiling before putting an arm around the little guy and drifting off shortly after.

Wednesday is pretty chill. Jim's actual birthday has passed and they've been going pretty hard for the last few days. Dustin's suggestion to hit up the grocery store and make dinner at his place is half because they're almost broke and half because they're both sorta worn out. Jim agrees, seems happy about it if Dustin's being honest and that's a relief. He's not much of a cook but for Jim he'll make an exception. It is his birthday, or was his birthday. It may never end, may never stop being his birthday.

They leave the dirty dishes in the sink and waste the rest of the night playing video games, stay up damn near long enough to see the sunrise before they remember it'd be a good idea to get some sleep. It's strange watching Jim curl up on the couch that final time. Dustin knows he's got to go home at some point. The guy doesn't live in Philly, doesn't live here. He's got a life to go back to. He can't just spend all his time hanging out, that's ridiculous. Dustin knows it's completely, utterly ridiculous but he wants Jim to stay. He can't stay.

When they finally wake up on Thursday Dustin is oddly nervous, uneasy. They've never spent such a long stretch together, this is easily the most he's seen of Jim, the most time they've shared since they became friends. It's difficult to admit to himself but Dustin liked it. He liked having Jim around. He liked what he saw. Yeah, they were already friends, best friends but it seems different now and Dustin isn't sure what to do with that knowledge, that feeling.

Time for Jim to leave comes quickly. Before Dustin's had an opportunity to process everything that transpired from the time Jim got to his place Friday afternoon to now Jim's ready to make the trip home. It sucks. There's got to be another excuse, another reason to ask Jim to stay, right? No. He can't do that. He won't do that. Jim can't stay. His birthday has passed. Back to normal, regular life. He'll see Jim in a couple weeks for the next show anyway. He can't stay.

Dustin's not expecting Jim to hug him goodbye. Normal people, friends hug goodbye all the time, he's not sure why it comes as a surprise when Jim's hands are on the back of his neck and the little guy is mumbling something about how much fun he had, thanking Dustin. "You're welcome. Happy birthday." Dustin barely manages to say. Fuck, he's such an idiot. He's not even hugging Jim back. He really should do that.

He does hug Jim back after a few awkward moments, squeezes him a bit too tight judging by that little noise Jim just made. Why else would he make a sound like that? Dustin eases up, lets go of his waist and looks down at his little blond friend. Yeah, this sucks. What, like he's supposed to spend almost six full days with a guy like Jim and not be bothered when it's time for him to leave? He can't stay.

He can't stay but Dustin's not about to let Jim escape without joking around with him one last time. "So, same thing next year? Holy shit, your birthday is gonna fall on a Wednesday next year! Lame. A birthday on a Wednesday is even worse than one on a Tuesday. Gross, dude."

"Shut up. Your birthday rolls around first, remember? Let's plan for that first."

"Deal."

#I swear this was supposed to be short #I just think they're neat #I'm going back into my hole now don't look at me

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thevioletjones · 3 years

Note

34 for prompt list thing! 💖

Thanks! 💜

Prompt 4: “I might never get another chance to say this.”

Now to War

Ian understood why Mickey was still in the closet. That was never really the issue. He was aware of the deeply scary, tyrannical nature of Mickey’s father, and how his horrible ways had left a lasting impression that was hard for him to shake. However, Ian had eventually started to feel a burden that he was frankly sick of bearing.

He’d never asked or expected Mickey to openly date him in front of his own family, but he would've appreciated some kind of quiet commitment where maybe they could at least let Ian’s family in on the secret (Lip already knew, but Mickey didn’t know he knew). Ian’s family had always been supportive when it came to Ian’s orientation. He knew they’d be supportive of Mickey too, even if they didn’t fully understand him, or even like him. They just wanted Ian to be happy.

But Mickey couldn’t even give him that much. He still fucked women to please his dad; still worked as his right-hand man doing illegal shit, instead of forging his own path; still stayed under that disgusting, oppressive thumb with no plans to ever get out from under it. Mickey still just didn’t believe that he could do or be anything different; had resigned himself to this depressing fate of constantly repressing himself for the rest of his life.

Ian just couldn’t stomach it anymore. Part of that was selfish, because yeah, he wanted to have a real relationship that wasn’t full of darkness and drama all the time. But the bigger part of it was about how deeply he cared for Mickey. He hated witnessing what he considered Mickey’s slow demise over a long period of time. If Ian couldn’t convince him that he deserved better, then what exactly was he doing sticking by Mickey’s side? He couldn’t just let himself be a doormat and get treated like shit just because he was in lo—no, he had to stop thinking of it that way.

What was done was done, ancient history style. The last time shit had fallen apart and Mickey had kowtowed to his dad, tossing Ian’s heart in a blender in the process, Ian had ended things. For good. Probably. He was as terrible at staying away from Mickey as Mickey was at staying away from him. He couldn’t even count how many times they’d renounced each other at this point, but he was doing what he could to make it stick.

That’s why Ian had to go and force things to be different now. He couldn’t risk just falling back into the same old toxic pattern with his wayward ex. There were so many good qualities in Mickey that no one else really got to see, but at the end of the day, they couldn’t outweigh the bad enough to strike a fair balance when it came to Ian.

So after much consideration of options, Ian had finally done what he’d always intended, professionally speaking, and signed up for the army.

It had been nearly 8 months now. Basic and AIT had gone well, considering all his years of ROTC, and now he was back home for a brief visit before being deployed for the first time. He was excited to finally be fulfilling his lifelong dream of being active military, but if he said he wasn’t nervous as shit too, he’d be lying. There was a definite fear there in the background of his mind, but he’d always kind of lived for danger in a way. He liked conquering it.

He supposed every soldier went off to war thinking they wouldn’t be one of the ones to die or get severely wounded, and maybe he was an idiot for believing it, but despite that inevitable fear, Ian truly knew he’d be okay. He trusted his instincts and reactions to volatile situations (thanks, Gallagher family trauma), so he had to trust himself. Maybe if he believed in the idea of coming out the other side of combat unscathed enough, he would manifest it.

Still, no matter his sixth sense, there was that feeling of wanting to make sure that he left everything in his life back home in a nice, neat place, just in case he was terribly wrong and never set foot back on American soil again. He needed all of his important relationships to be appropriately cemented. It was easy with his family (well, the siblings portion of it, at least), but Mickey was a whole different story.

Despite having broken it off months ago, the idea of leaving that whole thread hanging felt terrifying. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to feel closure with Mickey, but he had to try. There was a good chance he’d either get mocked, or socked in the face for making overtures, but he had to try anyway.

He felt resolute as he walked toward the Milkovich house, but once it came into view, his insides were consumed with nerves until his gut twisted with the weight of his apprehension.

What if Mickey wasn’t there? What if Terry and a bunch of Mickey’s idiot brothers were laying about? What if Mickey had done the unthinkable and married some random whore so he could pretend he was straight to please his dad? Ian would hope that either Lip or Mandy would’ve informed him of such a development, but since Ian liked to bury things and not talk about them, maybe they’d just decided not to bring it up?

He took a deep breath, muttered, “Fuck it,” to himself, and made his way to the front door. All he could do was try. If Mickey was gone, or had forgotten him, or didn’t care anymore, then he’d just have to accept it and move on.

He gulped thickly as he knocked, hoping that at least Mickey would be the one to answer, and that the ability to form words based on coherent thoughts would manifest as needed.

He steeled himself for whatever might happen, standing with his back straight as an arrow as the door wrenched open.

The moment those ice-blue eyes met his, every single thought flew out of Ian’s head, feeling breathless as blood rushed to his head. Without a doubt, he’d never seen Mickey so surprised before. His ex wasn’t the type to be at a loss for words, but his mouth hung open, and the full irises of his eyes were exposed, eyebrows raised high on his forehead.

He wasn’t sure how long they stood there studying each other in silence before Ian gained the courage to speak.

“Hi, Mick.”

“Gallagher.” Clear uncertainty permeated his tone.

“Hope it’s not a bad time. Just wanted to talk to you for a minute?”

Mickey crossed his arms and widened his stance, walls going back up. “Been a long fuckin’ time. What, you find out you got an STD or some shit? Come to do the whole benevolent legal disclosure thing?”

One corner of Ian’s mouth lifted in a sad attempt at amusement. “Nah, nothing like that. Can I come in? Or if someone’s home, we can sit out here I guess.”

Mickey scanned him from head to toe, so Ian took advantage and did the same. “Never known you to come over for a conversation before.”

Ian nodded. “Look, I won’t stay long. I really just have something I need to say. Then, if you never wanna see me again, you won’t. I’d just rather not do it awkwardly standing in the doorway if possible.”

Mickey shrugged and walked into the house, leaving Ian to follow. “Whatever, man. No one else is here right now. Terry’s in the slammer, so he won’t barge in or anything.”

“Cool,” said Ian, closing the door behind him.

Mickey sat down on the couch, but Ian had no idea whether to follow or not. Didn’t know how close to get. He hated feeling so weird around Mickey. In spite of everything, he’d always felt a strange sense of comfort and belonging when they were together. Like he could just be himself. Well, a somewhat ‘withholding of affection’ version of himself, but the rest felt natural.

“You gonna sit the fuck down and spit it out or what?” Mickey demanded.

“Right…” Ian took a seat on the sofa, leaving the entire middle cushion between them. “Uh… I don’t really know where to start now that I’m here.” He chuckled nervously.

“Jesus, Gallagher, you fuckin’ dying or somethin’?”

Ian grimaced, unable to tame that tiny pessimistic molecule inside himself. “No. Well, I hope not. Uh, I enlisted.” He looked up from his lap to gauge Mickey’s reaction, pleased to find his expression slipping into something more serious and less put-upon. “I’ve been away training. Shippin’ out tomorrow. Last night home and all that.”

Mickey exhaled raggedly. “Fuck, Ian. The fuck’d you do that for?”

“You know I’ve always wanted to, Mick. Childhood dream and all that. Finally found a reason to bite the bullet, so to speak.”

Mickey ran a shaky hand over his face, snickering derisively. “Wow. So you came here to tell me you’re runnin’ off to get shot, and that it’s pretty much my fault too? That’s real swell of you, Firecrotch. Real nice.”

Ian shook his head. “That’s not what I’m trying to say at all. It’s not a guilt-trip. I just needed you to know, in case…”

“In case what? You don't come back? You fuckin’ die?”

Ian nodded. “Yeah, pretty much.”

Mickey shot to his feet and started pacing, running his hands through his black hair, and worrying his pink lip. “So what? Now I'm s'posed to lay awake worryin’ about your stupid, army-go-lucky ass every night? That’s not a fuckin’ guilt-trip?”

“No, Mick, it’s not. It’s not really about you, but I couldn’t just leave without seein’ you again. I miss you, okay? I stand by what I did, leaving… still feels like I had to do it… but that doesn’t just turn the feelings off. I thought about you a lot while I was away.”

“Christ, Ian, what are you talkin’ about? Just stop.”

Ian stood up and walked toward Mickey, forcing him to meet his eye without laying a hand on him. “I won’t. Not this time. I might never get another chance to say this, and it would be great if you could just shut the fuck up for once in your life and listen. I don’t care if you have nothing to say to me in return, okay?”

Mickey rolled his eyes, looking very uncomfortable.

“There's a lotta reasons I left,” Ian continued, “but that doesn’t mean that I wanted to, as much as I needed to. You just never let me tell you what I was feeling. Which is fine. I always knew what you were about, and I know why you’re not out. I didn’t want to punish you, I just had to do it for me. Cuz I can’t live like that—”

“Why are you sayin’ all this shit to me now? It’s in the past.”

“I’m just trying to get to the point, fuck. Maybe I’m rambling. I just mean… I know you don’t wanna hear it, but I have to say it just once, and then I’ll go…” Ian took a deep breath, steadying himself for this ridiculous, sincere proclamation. “Mickey Milkovich, I love you. More than anything. And I’ll be thinkin’ about you while I’m over there. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m sure I’ll fade from your mind soon enough, anyway. But I'll remember you. The good stuff, you know? And I’m sorry that it didn’t work out, but now you know.”

Ian smiled dimly and put a hand on Mickey’s shoulder, giving it a short squeeze. “Maybe this was selfish of me,” he added. “It feels good to get it off my chest, though. I hope you get to live your life the way you should one day, Mick. Just, you know… bein’ yourself. Not pretending. Happy; or something close to it. You deserve it.”

Mickey was as still and silent as a statue, probably completely unequipped to deal with all the shit Ian just threw at him, so Ian patted him on the cheek, moving to walk past. Which was fine. He hadn’t expected much more. The point was that Ian had said what he thought and felt, and now he could take that knowledge with him. Hopefully one day, Mickey would get it. Maybe take Ian’s words to heart. Maybe break away and live his truth in some way. And Ian would find his own path too. He was doing what he could to search for it.

He only made it a couple steps, though, before he felt Mickey’s hand slide around his wrist, pulling him back.

“Don’t,” he heard Mickey say softly.

“Don’t what?”

“Just… don’t.”

And then Mickey’s lips were on his for the first time in months, and he couldn’t believe it was happening. His sense memory activated, and he put everything he had into the kiss, in case it was all he got.

It wasn’t all he got, though, because Mickey’s passion matched his own in that moment, and their mutual understanding of each other’s bodies took over. The clothes were coming off before they even made it to the bedroom.

Ian hadn’t expected goodbye sex on his last night in town, but he definitely wasn’t unhappy to receive it… or give it, as it were. What he expected even less than that was Mickey suddenly becoming verbal again.

He was letting him stay the night, and they were practically sharing a pillow, just staring at each other. Not something that had usually been on the menu when they were together.

“Why’d you have to come say all this shit now?” asked Mickey. “When you’re just gonna leave again, maybe for good this time?”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“That's not what I mean. I know you’re good at the army bullshit, alright? I’ve seen you shoot. Seen your nerd-ass training. But no one can control bullets and bombs in a war zone, Gallagher. Plus, even if all goes well, you might still settle down somewhere else, right? Go full army life and live full-time on a base somewhere.”

“Are you saying that if I were here you’d want things to be different?”

Mickey sighed, running a thumb over Ian’s cheek in a way that was almost gentle. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Mick—”

“It’s okay. You gotta do what you gotta do. But…”

“But what?”

“Since we’re talkin’ fuckin’ life and death and all that heavy shit… I should say… that I feel it too.”

“Feel what too?”

Mickey rolled his eyes and smacked Ian’s cheek. “You know what.”

“I really don’t,” said Ian, biting his lip with a mixture of anxiety and glee.

Mickey sighed very loudly, huffing and puffing like saying the actual words would kill him. “I…”

“You?”

“God, I hate you. But I love you. I love your stupid, freckly, gingery ass. And I don’t fuckin’ want you to go off to war, okay?”

Ian’s grin stretched across his entire face. “You mean it?”

“No, I'm fuckin’ lyin’, cuz admitting warm and fuzzies is my favorite sarcastic pastime, asshole.”

Ian leaned forward and kissed Mickey tenderly once more. “Will you wait for me?”

“Don’t make me punch you in the face now, dipshit.”

“Will you?”

“Fuck no!”

“Yeah you will.”

“I really won’t.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Fuck you, Gallagher.”

“I think we can squeeze a few more in.”

“You got the shittiest timing of anyone I’ve ever met.”

Ian shrugged. “Yeah, I know. Gallagher curse.”

“You stupid motherfucker. Better not die.”

When Ian got on the bus the next afternoon, he felt so much lighter. And the future was something that he looked forward to. Whatever came.

#ian x mickey #fanfic #gallavich #fanfiction #asks #answers

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deans-haunted-baby · 3 years

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The Ones Left Behind

Alrighty time for some truth bombs. I’ve had almost a week to absorb the end of Supernatural and season 15 as a whole. And I think this is the moment where I need to throw in my two cents. For all intents and purposes I won’t go in-depth into 15x20 seeing as that conversation will just open up a whole other can of worms and I don’t need that headache. I have my reasons for being less than indifferent with how the Winchesters’ story concluded. So I won’t go there.

Instead I’ll be focusing all my energies on the unsatisfying conclusions of 4 particular characters. Two of which were main cast members (one that was on the show 12 years and one 4 years) while the other two (played by the same dude) were brought back after a decade long hiatus for a much-anticipated comeback only to be wasted and mangled unfairly by Dabb and his hack horde of a writing staff. Call this a follow up to my last post. If I sound bitter I am because these people don’t have a single clue on how to helm these characters, their relationships or their storylines 😠 Nor do they deserve them.

And yes I’m well aware of Kevin Tran, Rowena, Ketch and several others who got the shaft on this show. Those could be future posts for another time.

But I cannot stress this enough; ADAM MILLIGAN, JACK KLINE, MICHAEL AND CASTIEL ALL DESERVED FUCKING BETTER. There is no arguing these facts, none whatsoever. Not one of these characters deserved that exit to be the final chapter in their story. I won’t do an entire analysis of each character’s arc and role in the show as I’ve already done that in my rant about 15x19. But I will highlight how much season 15 royally screwed over these characters and tossed them aside like trash; as if none of them were ever part of/contributed anything to Sam and Dean’s history/world building of Supernatural’s universe.

*WARNING* This is going to get heated.

Before I dive into the heart of these issues I want to state this is not a “shipping post”. I don’t ship anyone on Supernatural, hopefully this blog has been pretty self-explanatory. So I have no arguments/opinions in those areas. I’ve been a fan of this series for 15 years because of the characters, the familial bonds and relationships formed between characters throughout its run. And I’m well-aware that the Winchesters are the lead protagonists of the show, no need to remind me. These are purely my own thoughts based what I’ve obtained from show canon. Let me just say I can’t get over just how much these writers contradicted and ignored what they put forth in the journeys of these four individuals. its a real headscratcher.

You mean to tell me that after TWELVE DAMN YEARS of Castiel being a rebellious warrior angel, searching for his own identity and meaning in life; making that promise to Kelly Kline about raising Jack as his own/risking his life for him. After sacrificing himself for his son a year ago, acknowledging he was satisfied with his role as a father which restored his faith; that it was all because of/for Dean Winchester?

You mean to tell me that after Michael, THE PRINCE OF HEAVEN and PROTECTOR OF HUMANITY, was locked away in a cage with a human whom he emotionally bonded with for thousands of years (10 years our time); who was abandoned, betrayed and manipulated by his neglectful/abusive father. After choosing free will and aligning himself with TFW for humanity’s sake, just sided with the Earth’s destruction because his little brother called him names?

You mean to tell me that Jack, A THREE YEAR OLD CHILD, who’s barely just beginning his life and spent his entire duration on the show wanting to be normal and not wanting to be special. Connecting and being integrated with humans; a child who’s biggest fear was outliving everyone he ever loved. Is suddenly ready to walk away from his family, his home and his teddy bear; to give up being a kid forever and run the universe?

You mean to tell me that Adam, SUPERNATURAL’S MOST INNOCENT CHARACTER and FORGOTTEN THIRD-WINCHESTER BROTHER, after being eaten by ghouls; pulled away from his mother out of Heaven, manipulated by angels, trapped in Hell for thousands of years because Sam and Dean left him there to rot. After coming back and helping his neglectful siblings save the world only to be ripped away from his best friend and THE ONLY OTHER PERSON who gave a damn about him; is sentenced to a life of loneliness, homelessness and turmoil until he dies and ends up in Hell where he’ll mostly be tortured and turned into a demon?

NO. I DO NOT AND WILL NEVER ACCEPT THIS BULLSHIT!

Season 15 not only manages to contradict itself where these characters are concerned (while assassinating them before the final curtain). But the writers deliberately discarded them before giving us that *sarcasm inserted* epic solo-Winchester conclusion. Regardless of how you feel about Adam, Castiel, Jack or Michael, ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS are connected Sam and Dean’s story and part of Supernatural. And when you throw them away like they mean nothing, you’re essentially throwing away a part of the show’s history. You’re ignoring 15 years worth of story building.

As I said I’m not going to go into 15x20 for reasons, it doesn’t offend me as much as what was done before that finale. Because I think those other show exits really affect 15x20 even worse than people realize. You want to know why, I’ll explain.

Lets start off with Castiel and Jack, OH BOY! We know where they end up; running Heaven and the Earth together which is all fine and dandy. I love my Dadstiel father/son duo being an endgame family unit. But here in lies the problem, we never saw it. Not even a cameo. And technically their onscreen storyline ends at 15x18 and 15x19 which is an ugly, anti-climatic bookend to an incredibly deep relationship that had 4 years of development. First you have Castiel who completely forgets why he made that deal with the Empty to begin with. HIS FUCKING SON. Not to mention it wasn’t about true happiness it was about giving himself permission to be happy; there is a difference. And then you have Jack wandering around next episode, vacuuming up power cause suddenly he’s a machine now, acting like he doesn’t give a shit over losing his dad to an entity HE’S BEEN DREADING ABOUT FOR A FUCKING YEAR.

Towards the end of season 15 I noticed neither of these characters were acting like themselves. Their motivations, their personalities and strong ties to one another had mysteriously dissolved. Castiel became less concerned about the danger his son was facing after 15x15 (what the hell was that in 15x17?) and more about speaking when spoken to by either Sam or Dean. Does he know how Dean truly feels about Jack; proclaiming the child is “not family”? I doubt the in-character version of him would let Jack leave with Dean after that insult. Castiel’s not even worried whether or not his son is alive or safe before he makes the big confession later. And for some reason Jack (who’d become heavily suicidal) was more concerned with clinging to the Winchesters, willing to die for them, instead focusing on himself and the one person who’s shown him nothing but unconditional love and given him strength since birth. Both of these characters are canonically depressed and suffer from low self-esteem that was never resolved which makes me furious.

When Chuck killed Jack at the end of season 14, this devastated Castiel in the first half of season 15. He actually got to grieve that loss throughout the episodes and deal with his anger over it, allowing the audience to anticipate the day they’d be reunited one last time. This part of Castiel’s S15 arc also ironically mirrors Jack’s S13 arc of mourning Castiel’s death until resurrecting him. And when this son finally returned to his father, who got to rescue him, it was such a poignant moment between the two. It was a cathartic payoff after witnessing Castiel in so much pain over Jack. There was so much building up between that Dadstiel reunion in 15x11 and the Empty’s pact in 14x08; this was suppose to be a tragic yet pivotal plot-point in both Jack and Castiel’s stories. And with SPN wrapping up we all expected something BIG. Yet somehow the writers retconned the whole thing by making it all about Dean, which is such a gross disservice to these characters and 4 years of storytelling.

For instance, since 15x18 was Castiel’s exit episode, why wasn’t he allowed to hug his son or Sam goodbye one last time? Why didn’t he have more of a focal role instead of standing around majority of the episode with barely any dialogue as so much precious air time was wasted on frivolous things? Why didn’t he get one last badass fight scene with someone like Death instead of being choked out and tossed around like a powerless mortal? Why did the group need to be split up to begin with when it served no purpose either than that *ugh* moment? Why wasn’t Jack allowed to call Castiel “dad” once before the show ended? He deserved to hear his son address him as dad!

AND WHY THE HELL COULDN’T JACK FEEL CASTIEL’S DEATH THE MOMENT IT HAPPENED?

The show already established to the audience the significant cosmic bond these two characters shared since before Jack was even born. It was so powerful it boosted Castiel’s grace. Jack could remember who Castiel was from the womb and that he’d protected his mother. Not to mention HE FUCKING RESURRECTED CASTIEL OUT OF THE EMPTY ONCE WITHOUT GOD’S POWER. You’re telling me Jack couldn’t feel his dad being taken away forever despite how far apart they were? No, he’d feel it in his heart. Had we’d been given a scene like that at the end of 15x18 (something of substance) with actual grief shown in 15x19 maybe the episode would’ve faired better for them.

That said it wasn’t, because Jack was treated the exact same way in his final exit. Hardly any lines and just a bunch of scenes of him standing/walking around until that pathetic reveal at the lake. HE DOESN’T EVEN GET TO INTERACT WITH JAKE ABEL’S MICHAEL/ADAM which would’ve been a great follow-up to the AU!Michael storyline in seasons 13 and 14. I swear these directors didn’t give Alex and Misha any motivation during their last three episodes and it’s evident in their hollow performances. But why would they when the scripts are basically telling their characters to quickly fuck off so the brothers can have their final outing. Jack doesn’t even behave like himself after he becomes the new God. His personality is apathetic, cold, alien, stiff and way too mature for the 3 year old child so closely connected to his family/the human world. In that moment I saw Alex Calvert not Jack Kline. It’s bad enough he doesn’t get a meaningful farewell but again Castiel, HIS DAD, is a complete afterthought to this kid 🥶

And that’s what we’re left with. Forever. A frigid, hollow ending to one of Supernatural’s most healthy, touching, family dynamics. It makes you wonder what was even the point. I can’t even fully enjoy the fact that its canon Jack and Castiel are together fixing Heaven because of what the show presented onscreen as their last hurrah. It’s not sitting right and it makes 15x20 even less appealing to me.

Moving onto Michael and Adam. Get ready for this. I could rant forever about how dirty my boys were done by this show. How they were discarded in the SPN series finale recap etc. just as they were FOR THE LAST TEN FUCKING YEARS. Was there even a plan going on here or was this just everyone making things up as it went? Their ending is the most unsatisfying and cruel thing because its INCOMPLETE. There is no real closure or resolution with them thanks to the monstrosity that was 15x19. AND NO ONE CARES ENOUGH ABOUT THEM TO GIVE A SHIT.

Much as I’ve enjoyed this show for many years, it NEVER deserved Jake Abel, his talent or his time. I keep seeing so many anti posts about Dean Winchester’s final fate in Supernatural and all I can think about is “try being an Adam Milligan fan for the last decade”. I’ve had to watch this boy go through hell with nothing to show for it either than years of memes. ridicule and the show’s mockery in forgetting him. Actually he’s the ONLY CHARACTER in this series you’re encouraged not to remember 😡 Also quick question: why give us this really interesting and healthy relationship between an archangel and its vessel if nothing was ever going to become of it?

At this point I don’t know why Adam or the idea of him was even introduced way back in season 4 let alone revisited in season 5. Because the only thing I see when I look at this character now is SAD WASTED POTENTIAL. Storylines never explored. Relationships that never got off the ground. Backstory we never got to see (like for instance his past with John Winchester and his time in the cage). A character’s birthright (Men of Letters) that was never actualized. AND the unexplained factor that Adam could look directly at Michael’s true form without his eyes burning out (making him a special case). And the thing is he could’ve been a really great character, both him and Michael. They could’ve easily reached popular status just like Castiel given the chance since Jake is a freaking acting-powerhouse. We were given a taste in 15x08 just how awesome these characters could be and how they could’ve contributed so much to the story and its core group. But unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be.

Michael will never redeem himself after years of scrutiny and being made out to be some kind of unhinged monster. This show constantly enjoyed pounding into our brains how fearsome Michael was. Warned us via Lucifer (LUCIFER, PEOPLE!) that he wasn’t rational, compassionate and didn’t care about anything except war, death and destruction. And that he was incapable of feelings and emotions. This is how Supernatural saw Heaven’s Prince and guardian of the Earth. Christ, they actually did a two-year storyline about an evil Michael from the AU world who enjoyed torturing and killing while trying to destroy the universe. I want to know WHAT THE HELL THIS SHOW’S WRITERS HAD AGINST THESE CHARACTERS? Why they felt the need to bring back Jake Abel, AFTER A DECADE OF FANS WANTING THIS, if it was simply to piss all over his characters one last time before the show wrapped. This is absolutely unprofessional and childish; the fact that Jake is taking this bullshit in stride makes it all the more shameful 😡

We could’ve learned so much more about Michael’s past and his present relationship with Adam. These characters didn’t need to sit in the cage for a decade they could’ve easily been incorporated back into the show as far as season 8 or 10! And been an asset to the Darkness storyline in season 11.There were characters and storylines introduced that served no purpose. Why did we need to keep seeing characters like Charlie Bradbury or (as much as I like him) Crowley or Garth (love him too) or Lucifer or Abaddon or the Wayward sisters? I would’ve much preferred having Adam and Michael around and got to know them instead; especially after 15x08. I would’ve wanted to see what their dynamic with TFW could’ve become had they been long-time allies. Did John ever tell Mary about Adam’s existence? I’d like to see what her reaction would’ve been like had the Winchesters remembered him during that damn 300th episode. I guess that’s another loose end untied.

But because of what Supernatural did to these two characters, it forever taints Sam and Dean. I don’t think Dabb or purist fans realize this. But when new viewers come into this show about two brothers preaching important things like “saving people”, “family first” or “family don’t end in blood” they’re going to see how badly the main protagonists treated their innocent half brother. How Castiel and Jack were treated. They’re going to see the heroes of the story abandoning this kid in Hell forever with no intention of EVER rescuing him. And that’s why their final appearance leaves such a bad taste going into 15x20. Cause as much as Dabb and co didn’t give a shit about Adam and Michael they also didn’t give a rat’s ass about protecting Sam and Dean’s integrity. That’ll be a stain they can’t undo.

So through all of it, we’re stuck with the abomination that is 15x19 aka the eye-soar to an unfinished/unpolished story of two horribly disregarded characters. Michael gets the pleasure of being character assassinated right before he’s stupidly killed off instead of going out a hero or becoming the next God (as it was his birthright and the setup was there in the narrative). And Adam gets killed off-screen, OUT OF HIS OWN DAMN BODY, then brought back by Jack only to live a miserable, isolated existence since his brothers have nothing to do with him (the dog and car are more important); his best friend is dead, he has no job or money or a fucking home and he’s legally dead! Really what is there left for him besides the brutal fate awaiting in Hell when he dies?

SERIOUSLY THEY COULDN’T GIVE US ONE SCENE WHERE THE WINCHESTERS CHECKED IN ON ADAM TO MAKE SURE HE WAS SAFE?! 🤬 His last scene pretty much sums up this shit for what it is. Tragic. I feel like crying for this poor sweet boy.

Congratulations Dabb, BL and co for giving us these much deserved broken story arcs of characters you destroyed and made OOC before leaving the airways. You did your show’s protagonists justice by doing this *sarcasm inserted* after 15 years of being onscreen. I doubt these idiotic decisions are going to age well in the long run. They certainly don’t look good on the Winchesters. Anyway that’s my hot take for the day.

ALL THESE ACTORS AND THEIR CHARACTERS DESERVED BETTER.

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flying-nightwing · 4 years

Text

Act II: The Racetrack

Hey guys! I’m not sure I’m entirely satisfied with that one, especially the dialogue feels off. But this is something to drag me out of my writers block so yeah I’m not at optimal capacity. Anyhow, I hope you still enjoy!

Side note, I think this is the fic I used the least italics lmao. Also this is semi edited

Part 1 in Masterlist!

Part 3 is out now!

Pairing: Tim Drake x Reader

Word count: 3256

Warnings:

regular amount of violence, language

“Tim”

At the sound of his name, Tim jumped up from his sleep. He had no idea he had even closed his eyes, but there he was, sleeping perfectly still in his chair in front of his open computer. He blinked, looking down to his coffee, then up to Bruce.

“I’ve got a location”

That woke Tim up better. He was suddenly alert and attentive. “Where is it?”

“The Gotham Cup” Bruce replied, showing him two VIP passes to the Nascar race later that day. It made sense now that he said it, as the big crime families would meet there, as each one of them owned a racing team. “It’ll have to be a no cape mission, we’ll have to operate in broad daylight”

Tim nodded with a sigh. He wasn’t a fan of that type of recon, as he’d have to socialize as Tim Drake-Wayne the CEO and answer questions that would distract him from his mission. It also meant potentially dealing with press corps and cameras, which meant he’d have to be extra careful in his recon. At least the attention would be divided between him and Bruce.

“What time?” He asked.

“It starts at two, but the social event is on at one”

Tim looked down to his watch. It was now almost 11:30. He finished his now cold coffee and stood up with yet another sigh. “Guess I’ll have to go make myself presentable, then”

Bruce chuckled, but didn’t add anything more.

---

The sun was high in the sky and the racetrack was buzzing with activity. People with teams’ shirts and caps were mingling around, and the line of the bet counter was stretching all around the building. Tim walked beside Bruce, both of their VIP lanyards hanging from their necks and contrasting with their black dress shirt. They turned heads as they passed the lines and different booths, mostly ignoring the whispers that arose around them. They soon reached the VIP entrance, getting in without having to raise the badge or lower their sunglasses.

It still surprised Tim, even after all this time, the sheer power of the name Wayne.

They climbed the stairs to the terrasse, where there were considerably less people, and those who were there were dressed in fancy clothes rather than fan gear. There was s soft ambient music playing in the background and plenty of seats under the roof’s shade. The whole place screamed money, yet Tim found it extraordinary bland.

“You take ten o’clock, I’ll take two” Bruce instructed. “Meet at the bar for the start of the race”

“Got it” Tim nodded, checking his watch. He had exactly one hour and three minutes to try and find out more about which big shot would have beef with city hall. He began walking towards the rail, leaning on and pretending to be interested in whatever the entertainers were doing on the turf in the middle of the track. The seats around were gradually filling with fans who were willing to sit still for hours under the sun to watch cars drive in circles, eating their overpriced hotdogs. Tim didn’t understand the fun in that, but then again, they would probably not understand his idea of fun either.

With a sigh, he pushed himself from the rail and returned to his task. However, he didn’t see the person walking by and bumped into them. “Oh f--” He stopped himself from cursing out loud. “Sorry”

He paused, squinting at the semi familiar face in front of him. You smiled.

“What, no champagne to spill on me this time?” You teased as you recognized the handsome face from the gala the other day. The connection clicked in his eyes as he understood where he saw you before.

“Oh, hi!” He hurried to answer. “Uh, it’s you”

“So I’m told” You chuckled. He wouldn’t have recognized you on the spot, with your wide hat and brighter clothes. At first glance you seemed like a totally different person, but as he took in your features, it was obvious it was you.

He could recognize those memorable traits everywhere.

“So uh, you left before I could talk to you, the other day” He scratched the back of his neck. “I haven’t seen you much around either”

“I’m not from Gotham, so that would be pretty normal” You replied as you leaned on the rail. “I’m only here for a few days”

“Oh?” He asked, suddenly a little more interested. He raised his sunglasses on his head, looking at your directly. “I hope you weren’t too spooked by what went down at the gala”

You tsked, shaking your head. “Poor mayor” You sighed sadly. “It’s terrible what happened. At least no one else was injured. I was terrified when the smoke went off, but I’ll be okay”

He gave you a small, awkward smile. “Glad to hear it”

“So, do you have a name?” You changed the subject.

“Tim” He nodded, then told him your name in return. “Nice to formally meet you”

“Pleasure’s all mine” You gave him a charming smile. “So, what does such a handsome man do in such a place?”

He visibly blushed at your compliment. You could see he was not used to receiving blunt raises like that, but he really was handsome and you had to say it out loud. His bright eyes and sharp features drew you in just as much today as they did a few days back at the gala, where you had desperately wanted to stay and chat for a while before kidnapping the mayor. You still had time to spare today, so you wouldn’t miss your chance now.

“I- uh” He scratched the back of his neck, chuckling nervously. He didn’t seem like someone who would get nervous, but you thought it was cute. “My father, he wanted me to come with him. Publicity stunt I guess. What about you?”

“My cousin is a pilot” You lied easily. “I’m here for support”

“Oh! That’s great” He lifted the corner of his lips into a small smile. “Which car?”

Your expression turned sheepish. “... 43? 34?” You tried. “Something with a 4. I don’t know! I don’t follow the sport at all”

He chuckled. “Here for the free cocktails?”

“Guilty” You gave him a complicit grin. “Honestly my family just said ‘hey, let’s go to Gotham for the Nascar cup!’ and I followed because why not”

“I get it” He nodded as you began walking around side by side. He was more relaxed now, his hands in his pockets and his head tilted toward you. “My family does that all the time too. If one wants to go somewhere, usually the bunch follows”

“You have siblings?”

“Yeah” He grinned. “Four brothers and one sister, and I’m the middle child”

“Oh wow” You blinked. “How do you even deal with this?”

“By outsmarting them at every turn” He replied with a sarcastic sigh. “That and arming myself with enough information to blackmail them into doing my shit”

You laughed, throwing your head back slightly. You didn’t know, but his heart skipped a beat at the simple action. He thought it sounded like the sweetest melody he wouldn’t mind hearing again. “Sounds like a good survival strategy” You said. “So, you’re the smart one, eh?”

“I think I’ll go ahead and take this one” He nodded after a small pause. “You have no idea how low the bar is”

You laughed again, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “It sounds like a lot to deal with”

“Do you have any siblings?”

You were walking slow around the outside part of the VIP lounge, under the sun. Clouds were coming and going, giving you intermittent moments of shade. It really was a nice day outside. You looked down. “No, not really”

You could feel his eyes on you, but it wasn’t harsh. Just curious, like he didn’t want to pry and ask. However, he had a gaze that seemed to see through everything at that moment, and you really didn’t want him to see through the half lies you built to avoid the truth.

“I was adopted” You admitted, looking back up to him. That wasn’t a lie.

“Oh” He blinked a few times in surprise. “So was I”

Your eyebrows raised at his quick answer. You half expected the bundle of invasive questions that usually came with it, but at that moment it was clear he wouldn’t require further explanations. You were glad he understood.

“We already have more in common that I would have expected” You smiled sweetly. “I’m glad we bumped into each other again”

“Y-yeah, me too” He nodded with a timid smile this time, like that little shy front took over again. You deducted it returned when you made a move on him so far, but he didn’t seem to dislike it either.

“Maybe we--” You paused when you caught a glimpse of the time on the giant board on the other side of the track. If you kept going on like this you’d miss your window. Shit shit shit. “Oh shoot”

“What’s wrong?”

You recomposed yourself and gave him an apologetic smile instead of straight up bolting away. “I told my mother I’d be down by the pits for the beginning of the race, she’s going to start calling me non stop soon”

His face dropped slightly in disappointment. “Oh, yeah, maybe you shouldn’t worry her”

“Sorry, Tim” You pouted, before lifting your finger and going to the nearest bistro table, and took a napkin from the fancy display. You then snatched a pen from a man walking by, ignoring his protests, and you wrote your number on the fragile material. yOu handed back the pen without looking at the angry man and went back to Tim, who had an amused expression on his face. “Here”

“Thanks” The smile returned on his lips as he glanced down quickly at the digits.

“Call me sometimes, yeah?” You winked, walking backwards. He lifted the napkin and nodded, then you were gone.

As you jogged down the secondary staircase, you forced yourself to put Tim at the back of your mind. There was no rule in your contracts to regulate your private life, but it was obvious you couldn’t let anything get in the way of your mission. You got down to the pits and sneaked in a small storage room, where a change of clothes was waiting for you. You pulled off the stupid hat and took off your clothes to change into a tight black suit and a holster belt for your gun and the roll of duct tape at the bottom of the bag. You finally pulled the black helmet as the finishing touch and got out undetected.

You returned into the pits like nothing, blending with the flow of people gradually becoming more important as you got closer to the garage #29. You really looked no different from the staff with darker suits, only missing the sponsors patches. Behind your visor you spotted the driver you were looking for, seemingly arguing with a blonde girl and walking away, throwing his hands in the air.

The timing couldn’t be more perfect.

You followed him as he watched intensely his cellphone, going somewhere quiet. He paused in a corner away from prying eyes, typing quickly. You stepped in front of him and waited a few seconds until his eyes lifted up to you.

“What the fuck do you want?” He grumbled. “Go back to work”

“If you’re asking so nicely” You said, pointing your gun at him as you dropped your bag on the floor.

“Yo what the f--”

You used his momentarily surprise to side step him and sneak an arm around his neck. He trashed in your hold until he went limp. You let him drop on the floor and began undoing his suit, pulling it off with a few difficulties when the limbs were concerned. You then slipped it on and bound the driver at the wrists and ankles, then taped his mouth and threw the roll on him. You returned to the pits, ignoring people who tried to talk to you, including the blonde from earlier. You went straight for the car and slipped in, only waiting for the crew chief to place one last word before you headed for the start line, getting into your designed position. As the other cars joined the start grid as well, you warmed up your tires like the rest of the pilots around you. You observed the commands of the car, making sure you hadn’t forgotten a function since your quick training in nascar driving.

Soon enough, the lights turned green. You didn’t hurry like some cars, you opted to lay low in the main platoon. You would avoid getting attention to yourself that way. You especially chose an average team to hijack, so nobody would expect you to be leading or trailing behind. You made sure to spot your target a few cars in front of you; a bright orange car with the number 12 painted in blue.

The pilot was your target. He was one of Gotham’s influential men, drawing attention with his sudden philanthropy gestures and involvement in city politics. He liked to flash his money out, and that apparently went through buying an entire nascar team and racing as the pilot as well. But his fervent support for Batman and his bunch of vigilantes got him a big red dot on the forehead by other influential characters of Gotham. Falcone did not appreciate the support for his enemy.

You counted your laps, getting closer to the 34th. You launched your offensive, accelerating and taking your curves more towards the center. You swerved around cars to come head to head on the right of 12, taking your gun from the inside of your suit. You rested the nozzle on your elbow to stabilize your aim, then waited out the curve. As soon as the track hit the straight line, you shot three bullets in his neck and retreated your gun again. You saw the body fall back into the seat, the car losing control and crashing in another one. 12 went up in the air, flipping several times before the yellow flag went out.

The medical staff hurried to the accident, and you knew they’d soon see the bullets and stop the race. So when the pits came into view, you got in. Staff were flagging you off, yelling at you in confusion as to your presence there. You only accelerated, knocking equipment as you went. You pulled the hand brakes to realize a 90° turn into the garages. People jumped out of your way as you escaped by the pits and to the outside of the stadium. You drove into several metal fences until you ended up in the fan zone. Only the security was there, but they were on foot or on segways, so they didn’t stand a chance. You tore through the Cup banner and drove straight for the highway.

Drivers honked as you speeded by them, heading for the city before the police helicopters could spot you. The buildings would provide you with a much needed cover, even if the risk of you crashing would be greater with significantly more obstacles. As you entered the first shadow of the skyscrapers, you took an exit ramp to Chinatown. You accelerated in the traffic, rolling on the sidewalks and knocking down trash cans as you went. You crossed through five just-turned red lights, causing one small pile up at the junction of one of the big avenues. You knew the helicopter was hovering somewhere close, and the police began tailing you once you entered Gotham Lower. However, the motorcycles were no match for a Nascar grade car.

However, you knew the game was on when you heard something being thrown onto your door and denting in the metal. A pointy end got through, and immediately, you knew what it was: Batman had entered the game. You were surprised he’d show up in the daylight.

You were even more surprised when you noticed it wasn’t in fact Batman, but his pupil in red. He was on an unmarked motorcycle with a black helmet, trailing slightly behind so you couldn’t shoot him with a good aim through the window. So instead, you took a series of sharp turns in hope you could shake him off, as you didn’t have a rocket launcher to deter him from following you this time. You ended up in the Diamond District, where you decided to change your strategy. If he wanted a piece of you, he could have it.

You made a last turn into a dead end alley, then made a U-turn and waited at the end. Soon enough, you saw Red Robin pull up at the other end. He put a foot down as he came to a halt, no doubt staring at you through the tinted visor of his helmet. You revved the engine a few times, your foot pressing on the gas pedal in controlled movements. He leaned on the bike, ready to accept your challenge.

Before he could prepare too much, you shifted gear and took off, clouding the brick wall behind you with smoke from your tires. He pushed the bike straight and accelerated too as you drove toward each other full speed. You were about to start a manoeuvre, but had to abort as three shurikens shattered your windshield. You stopped at the other end and faced him again, before punching your what remained of your windshield. Immediately after, you speeded toward him again. This time however, you didn’t leave him time to take out weapons. You deployed the emergency brake and gave a tug left to your steering wheel, making the rear of your car tracing an arch. Red Robin deducted your intention last second, and had to swerve into the pile of trash bags so as to not get violently reaped. You took the opportunity to drive off back into the streets, where the police presence had quadrupled and the traffic cleared.

But you had a plan for that too.

As if on cue, two identical cars to yours pulled out from garages on both your sides. You changed formation, placing yourselves one after the other and changing the order every two intersections. When you felt like you had confused the police enough, you drove into an underground garage, forcing the police to slow down. You however, cruised over the speed bump without a hassle. After a tight, 180 degrees turn, you slipped into a side unit, where a member of your team closed the door right after. You stopped the car and heard the police fly by, holding your breath. Then, silence fell. You pulled off your helmet, then slipped out of the car through the window.

You took the phone your team member handed you, pressing the first and only number saved.

“It’s me” You spoke up when the other end picked up. “It’s done”

“Great work, (Y/N). Meet back at the corner of sixth and 24th”

“Copy that” You replied and hung up, letting the phone fall on the ground and crushing it with your boot. You caught the bag with your change of clothes, slipping out of the suit and putting on the clothes to blend in outside.

You sneaked out of the garage, regaining the busy streets of Gotham with a smirk.

#tim drake x reader #tim drake x you #tim drake imagine #tim drake fic #red robin x reader #tim drake #red robin #red robin imagine #dc #dcu #dc universe #dc imagine #dcu imagine #dc universe imagine #imagine #red robin x you #batfam #batfam imagine

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reineyday · 3 years

Text

some feelings abt touya and bnha 302 in general! (long post)

jesus this whooooole chapter makes me so so so sad for touya, like he's canonically a crier and i just have all these images now of him crying off to the side while enji looks at his other kids and gives them the time of day. knowing that he was/is a frustrated crier makes the fact that dabi cant cry cuz of his burned tear ducts that much sadder ohhman

one of the things i cant get over is how touya was SO shunned by his dad that when he went to go tell enji about his fire turning from red to blue, he says "i might be as awesome as shouto sooner or later!" like?? this boy is 13 and shouto is 5 yet he's talking like the brother that's eight years younger than him is better than him and thar it's just a fact. the sky is blue, enji wants to beat all might one day, and shouto is better than the rest of his siblings. nevermind that he's only five and just wants to play with his siblings (and dont even mention to me how shouto says he wants to play with "touya and them" cuz im gonna fucking cry abt it. like even though touya's accepted he's bottom of the ladder in this family, shouto clearly wants some sort of acknowledgement from his older siblings and especially his older brother. IM FVCKN SOBBN). enji has made it clear in this family that shouto was what he was looking for and everyone else is not as important, and i knew this from shouto's pov but it's kinda wild to see it implied so casually in touya's words.

"you'll be glad you created me! i just know it!" HOLY SHIT. god my heart. oh my fuck. literally all enji had to do was show up to the fucking mountain, and he couldnt even do that? what the hell?? your son asks you to go to the mountain, you tell your wife not to let him go traim but she said she couldnt stop him, and instead of going yourself to make sure he's okay and BECAUSE HE ASKED YOU TO COME (and with an actually valid reason, no less! fire changing colour is kind of a big fucking deal!!!) you just?? let him go and let him stay there??? my god the amount of times touya must have burned himself and the trees with tears in his eyes. ahhhHHH!!!

what kills me (and touya too soon?) was that we thought before the back story started that enji forced touya to train till he burned up. then when 290 came out--and definitely after 301--we thought maybe touya overtrained himself and burned up. and sure, he was definitely overtraining, but to find out that the burns that "killed" him started just bc he was crying so much he lost control and didnt know how to ease up on his flames? he was upset and literally trying to get himself to stop crying, and then he just set himself aflame and burned up cuz of all his emotions??? that HURTS. holy fuck.

i cant believe natsuo's feeling lowkey guilty for not socking enji in the face like he wasnt EIGHT???? and let's be real, enji woukdnt have fucking listened to natsuo telling him to talk to touya--he already wasnt listening when touya would straight up say "look at me" and when even rei said touya just wanted enji to look at him and notice him. listen, i know sometimes miscommunications happen in families and children are embarrassed to admit they want attention and so their parents remain unaware that theyre not giving their kid something they want, but touya was as clear as can be on MANY occasions, and even rei agreed touya needed the attention and enji just wasnt listening.

also i know there was discourse abt touya being sexist by telling natsu that "the women in this house are good for nothing" and mb it was partly diff translations cuz i feel like saying "this house" makes it specific to rei and yumi instead of all women everywhere, but even disregarding that--i think it's a valid thought for him to have when rei wasnt standing up for him (where he could see, at least) and yumi admitted herself that she was too scared to interfere and so just tried to fix things and keep appearances. i feel like based on what touya's seen from them, it makes sense that he has that opinion. (also gonna mention that i think rei's and yumi's choices also make sense and i think they were valid, seeing as how they were afraid as well.)

and poor natsu being woken up in the middle of the night (what was implied to be often enough, esp cuz it seemed they share a room and their futons are close) bc of touya's pain. that's a lot of emotional responsibility for an eight year old, and it is also so sad that at 13, touya didnt have anyone else to turn to but his kid brother. at 13, i remember being fully aware of the distinction in maturity between an 8 year old and myself, and it sucks that touya couldnt go to anyone but a younger child with all his pain. i bet yumi being too scared to interfere translated to touya as "she wouldnt help me" and thats another reason he didnt go to the 2nd oldest when he needed to vent. (also not related to this but how the FUCK was natsuo so tall at 8 years old? wh a t)

this chapter. this fucking chapter. my heart aches for touya, and it's just such a huge fucking shame he didnt get the attention and validation and support he needed. there must have been workarounds so that touya could safely use his quirk. there weere DEFINITELY better ways to support your son through a self-destructive quirk, ways that involved actually being there and seeing him. i feel like if someone showed him the attention he needed and talked him through how to better control his emotions (and by extension, his flames) and a positive and healthy way, he could have been someone so great. and if he ever learned how to set aside the way he felt infefior to shouto and saw that shouto just wanted to play with his cool older siblings, it might have been really beneficial to see that there was someone there who thinks he's cool and gave him attention just bc he was an older brother, who needed him when everyone else in the househild didnt seem to need him.

and lastly, the fact that the chapter ends with rei saying that shouto is the family hero and that shouto will have to face dabi?? and it makes me angry that shouto has to take on that responsibility. that he was five and suffering for things he wasnt even a part of, couldnt be properly aware of, bc he was so young. he just saw that he was separated from his siblings and that his dad bullied his mom, then grew up shouldering enji's heavy goals and high expectations and abusive training alongside the barely-there memories of his older brother who died (i say barely there bc if natsu didnt even know shouto liked cold soba, shouto was definitely not around enough to have solid memories of touya before he "died"), and now he has to do the emotional labour of fighting his villain brother (who i bet shouto lowkey empathizes with when he thinks abt it late at night) as well as suffer the physical consequences of that agni kai. and it makes me angry that he has to do that, bc he's a Good Guy and he probably feels he has some sort of filial and familial responsibility. he's only 16. he just wanted to play with touya and them, and now he has to deal with this horse shit dabi's causing cuz his dad's an emotionally neglecting asshat who couldnt see past his dumb fucking ego until he saw shouto play with a bunch of kids during shou's remedial exam a decade after his eldest son burned himself to death. what the fuckety fuck.

lastly, since we saw touya burn uo the way he did... did he really just like... burn so much his jaw fell off, and that's how they found the jawbone? cuz holy hot (BURNING too soon???) damn that must have been painful as all hell. i wonder if next chapter we get to see if someone found touya at the park and helped him out and sorted out the jaw bone thing, or if we finally get to see if deku wakes up lol.

anyways this chapter hurt my heart big time, and i kinda wanna draw kid touya crying while being overlooked by his family to let out some of those feelings but we'll see.

and i still stand by my idealistic and naively optimistic hope that dabi gets redeemed and they soend some actually time together as a family (without enji. or at least, with an enji that has apologized to touya in seiza. like, forehead-to-floor apologize.)

does this hope sort out how dabi redeems himself, seeing as how he's murdered people in cold blood and shouldnt be excused for that bc those actions are also inarguably terrible? no. not sure how he could redeem himself for that kinda stuff honestly, but it doesnt mean i dont still somehow want the todoroki sibs to get along, cuz im weak for mending families.

also id like to send a huge kudos out into the world to rei todoroki for being firm for once and for also not running away from her mistakes like her asshole husband has been. i really admire and respect that. she was afraid and being abused, but now that she's been away from enji and has had time to heal, now that her and shouto are in the mend and she's seen that her eldest son is alive and a villain, she's a place where she can acknowledge that even though she was a victim too, she played a part in touya's emotional neglect and she's taking responsibility and that speaks to some incredible fucking strength. damn.

i hope one day that dabi realizes the same in regards to his mother and natsuo, who shouldered a lot of his emotional pain and suffered the consequences of his outbursts (even though his emotions are valid and his outbursts understandable, he still hurt rei and put a lot of pressure on natsu), and i also hope he sees that for all that he hates his father, his whole existence revolves around enji and it's a shitty place to be (and then he'll have ANGST abt it and that shit will be!! so good!!!)

yeah i think those were all my feelings. i had so many lol. their family situation is so difficult, i hope they all turn out okay and alive and healing.

oh i guess i also wanted to say that i kept calling enji an asshat and asshole cuz he was for sure, but i still think his redemption is valid and im glad he's taking those steps to be a better person by being a better father. i dont know if id want his family to forgive him for all that horrible shit he put them through (im personally hoping that no matter what anyone else does, natsuo will choose to to cooperate in the healing of his family as a unit but will never forgive enji) but i think it's good of people to try to be better than they were yesterday regardless of whether or not they get forgiveness. i dont personally like enji, but i dont hate that he's getting a redemption. i just hope it's a redemption that makes sense and forces him to put in the work, and isnt something like a death sacrifice for shouto or dabi. i want him to be alive and i want his redemption process to hurt like a fucking bitch while he forces himself to make better choices and be a better person, cuz redemption isnt supposed to be easy in the slightest. i GUESS all the crying he did in 302 was a good start.

anyways, if for some reason you read all the way down to the bottom--hello! and thanks for reading haha. cheers! :)))

#rei rambles #bnha #bnha 302 #todorokis #todoroki touya

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sunmoonandeddie · 5 years

Text

a vision in white

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 3,441

summary: Fucking Chad and fake champagne.

prompt: “And our love story? I know it may not feel like it right now, baby, but I promise you, it’s just getting started.” (This is Us)

warnings: swearing, angst with a fluffy ending

a/n: This is my first successful attempt to getting back into writing long form. It’s also my entry for @softhairbarnes‘s challenge that was due, like September 18th. I’m so sorry it took so long, and the prompt is bolded in the fic!

Bucky Barnes hated weddings.

Actually, no. That’s not quite accurate because he loved Sam and Natasha’s wedding. When Sam had asked him to be a groomsman, he’d actually cried. In fact, he cried at least four times that day: watching Tony walk Natasha down the aisle, during the vows and the first dance, and then when he’d watched his girl catch the bouquet.

His girl.

No.

He needed to stop that. You’re not his girl anymore.

It was that stupid bouquet toss that had caused him to panic. It had sent him into a downward spiral as his anxiety reared its ugly head, telling him that he’d never have this with you.

It didn’t matter what the stupid tradition said.

Steve was standing near the front with Tony and Sam, mingling with your parents and having a grand old time. He must’ve said something at least a little funny with the way that your mom had her head thrown back in a laugh.

That used to be him. He used to be the one chatting with your family at events, his arm around your waist. Your dad always called him ‘son’ and your mom fretted over whether he was eating enough while your older siblings gave him hell for keeping you away from them in New York City for too long. He’d never thought he’d have a family in the twenty-first century, but yours had welcomed him with open arms. Your brothers had become his brothers, your sister became his sister.

And then he’d fucked it all up.

And because of his fuck up, he was sitting in the back pew of a church, watching some asshole named Chad chat with one of his groomsmen while waiting for the ceremony to start.

The worst part was that it was all wrong. This wasn’t the wedding you wanted. He knew that for a fact.

First off, the church. You never wanted a church wedding in the middle of August, damn it. Everyone was sticky with sweat, even with the air conditioning on full blast, and more than a little miserable.

And there wasn’t… There wasn’t enough flowers. The only flowers present were two bunches of white tulips on either side of the altar.

Fucking tulips. In white. It was like you’d had zero hand in planning your own wedding.

Which, from the look of things, you probably didn’t.

There just wasn’t enough color. It was all pristine white, as though trying to create some image of purity that he knew you didn’t have. You weren’t some kind of innocent virgin like the whole church thing suggested.

The trip you two had taken to the Dominican Republic a few years ago had made sure of that.

You’d told him about the wedding you dreamed about in the middle of the night, between sleepy kisses and wandering hands. The sheets had been kicked off at some point. You’d tangled your legs with his, soft fingers brushing his hair back away from his face as you murmured into the crook of his neck, “I want a small wedding outside. Just you and me and our family.”

“Yeah, baby?” He’d chuckled, drawing you even closer, if it were possible. “Just us and our family?”

“Mmhm. Don’t need anyone else.”

He’d hummed his agreement as he rolled the two of you over, leaning over you. His forehead pressed against yours, your legs wrapped around his waist. “What else? Hm?”

“What do you mean, ‘What else?’” You had asked, his t-shirt riding up your torso. You’d stolen it at some point, almost permanently becoming one of your so-called ‘sleep shirts.’

“Tell me about our wedding.”

Your bright eyes crinkled as you giggled, your fingers toying with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Our wedding, huh?”

His fingers attacked your sides in retaliation, sending you into a fit of laughter.

“Okay! Okay!” You had allowed him to lie on your chest, his head resting right above your racing heart. His weight was a welcome one, grounding you and keeping you in the present. Just as Bucky had his demons, you had yours, too. Your voice was soft and sweet, barely audible, as you continued, “It’ll be outside… in June… And there’ll be flowers. We’ll have so many flowers that no one will know what our color scheme is supposed to be.”

A laugh from your fiancé, your soon-to-be husband, pulled him out of his memories. God, the smug bastard.

Part of him wondered if he even knew about your past relationship. Granted, he had to. You were together for so long, it would be strange to not at least mention him to your new lover. Your fiancé.

Right?

Without a second thought, he stood up from the cold, hard pew and went through the double doors that people were still filing in from. He didn’t care that he received more than a few dirty looks after bumping shoulders with a few people. He didn’t recognize more than half of them. Some of them he can vaguely remember from one of your family reunions.

He had so many questions that he needed to ask you. He needed answers.

His invitation was crumpled in his hand as he searched the church, looking for any hint that might lead him to where the bridal party was getting ready. He knew that he’d find you wherever that was. Wanda and Natasha, too.

“Bucky?”

The familiar voice stopped him in his tracks, and he turned to see your older sister standing standing behind him. Josephine, or Jo, as she preferred, was your only sister, the second born of five. He had no doubt in his mind that she’d bawled when you’d asked her to be your maid-of-honor.

“Hi,” he said with a bit of a wince. He knew how he looked right now. Crazed. Desperate.

She had a glass of what appeared to be water in her hand, but he could smell the vodka from where he stood.

Some liquid courage for the bride?

“She doesn’t like vodka,” he said, his voice barely audible.

Jo rolled her eyes, crossing her arms and crinkling the silky gray material of her bridesmaid’s dress. “Yeah, well, she used to not like guys named Chad either, but here we are.”

He wasn’t quite sure what to say or how to respond at all, and just stood there with his mouth hanging open like a codfish.

“Come on,” she said, nodding further down the hall. The first few feet were completely silent, their footsteps muffled by the old carpet covering the floor. There was no way this church had been renovated since the seventies.

“She misses you, you know.” She kept her eyes forward, refusing to look at him as she admitted things she’d sworn secrecy to. “She won’t admit it to anyone but me, but she does. We all do.”

His blue eyes drifted down to the cardstock in his hand. It was white, just like the rest of your wedding, with you and your fiancé’s names embossed on it. It was worn from the amount of times he’d folded and unfolded it in his anxious state. “I didn’t expect to get an invitation.”

“She didn’t send it. I did.”

It was said so matter-of-fact that he didn’t even register her words at first. But the second he did, he tripped and almost fell flat on his face. “You what?!”

“Oh, come on, Bucky,” she said, stopping in front of him. “This… This whole thing isn’t right. I know you feel it, too.” She motioned back down the way they came. “This isn’t her. She’s settling for someone that isn’t right for her because she thinks you don’t want her. And I…” Her eyes, the same brilliant shade as yours, drifted to the ground. “I knew that if you came, it would mean that you still love her.”

“I—” He ran his hand over his face. “Of course I do. But she deserves more than me.”

If Jo’s eyes could’ve rolled to the back to her head, then they would’ve. “You’re both absolute idiots.” She grabbed his hand and set the glass of vodka in his hand before pushing him towards a closed door. “This is your chance to fix it.”

He looked at her once more before turning back to the door, knocking once.

“Come in.”

God, just hearing your voice in person for the first time in three years sent waves of affection through him.

The first thing he saw when he opened the door was your back. You were sitting at the vanity in the room, toying with one of the pins your hair.

“Jo, can you help me? This just… isn’t right.”

But Bucky was frozen by the door. His mouth was suddenly dry and he had to fight the urge to down the entire glass of vodka in his hand.

“Jo, really—” You turned in your chair, freezing when you saw him standing there instead of your sister. “Jamie?”

You looked so… so shocked. Hesitant. Maybe even a little scared?

“Uh… Hey, sweetheart,” he said, swallowing down the lump in his throat. “It’s, uh… It’s been a while.” When you just stared at him, he held out the glass. “Jo gave me this to, uh, to give to you.”

But you didn’t take it. Your fingers were white from how hard you were gripping the back of the chair. “What are you doing here?”

His heart was beating so hard he was sure his ribs were going to break like glass. “You… You look beautiful.”

And he wasn’t lying. You were truly a vision in white. The veil covering your hair was trimmed in delicate lace, framing your features in a way that made you appear almost angelic.

Your fingernails were digging into the palms of your hands as you finally stood up. “James, what the hell are you doing here?”

“Jo invited me.”

You cursed under your breath, your eyes drifting up towards the ceiling. “Fucking Jo.”

He took a step forward, a little scared of how you’d react. His hands were trembling. “I… I…” He cleared his throat as he desperately tried to gather his thoughts. Rolling his shoulders back, he willed himself to have some fucking courage, damn it. After what must’ve been an eternity, he finally allowed himself to meet your gaze. “Listen, I could say a lot of shit right now about how sorry I am, and it’d be true. Because I am sorry. I was stupid and dumb and, and a lot of other words that I can’t think of right now because fuck, you’re right here and I… I miss you. I miss you more than anything in the world, and if I could take it back, I would.” When you didn’t retreat, he took a few more steps towards you. “I love you. I love you so god damn much, and I never should’ve pushed you away.” The vodka was rippling, his hand was shaking so much. “You’re the love of my life, and I’d be willing to bet anything—in fact, I’d bet Steve’s life—that I’m the love of yours.”

“James—”

“Tell me that you love him,” he said, now standing just mere inches from you. He set the glass on the vanity without breaking eye contact. You could feel his breath gently fanning across your face. “Tell me you love him and I’ll leave. I won’t ever bother you again. But, sweetheart, there’s no way he can ever love you how much I love you.” His hand, calloused and rough, tenderly cupped your cheek. “I don’t have any right to you, I know. But I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t even try to make things right. And our love story? I know it may not feel like it right now, baby, but I promise you, it’s just getting started.”

Even though your eyes were watering, you didn’t step away from him. Your cheeks had just gotten hotter and hotter the closer he’d gotten to you. “What are you asking me, James?”

“Come with me,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against yours. His voice sounded pained, his metal hand grasping yours. “We can get out of here, go home. Please.”

You took in a shaky breath, a million thoughts running through your mind.

“Say you’ll run away with me, sweetheart.”

“I… I can’t.”

Bucky jerked away from you, feeling like a pot of boiling water had been tossed onto him. “What do you mean?”

Nose scrunching as you sniffled, you reached out to him. “Jamie, please…”

He backed towards the door, shaking his head. “Don’t ‘Jamie’ me.”

Wiping at your eyes, you rushed to explain. “I can’t just… just leave him at the altar, Jamie! I can’t hurt him like that!”

“Why not?!”

You looked at him like he’d grown a second head. “What the hell do you mean, ‘Why not?’ I’m engaged to him. I promised to spend the rest of my life with him, and—”

“You don’t love him!”

The words died in your throat. Your chest was heaving against the confines of your dress. “I’m engaged to him.”

“That doesn’t mean shit,” he said bitingly. His arms waved around dramatically as he spoke. “You’re sitting here in a dress, about to give the rest of your life to an asshole—Which, by the way, really? Chad? You decided to marry an asshole named Chad of all things?—because you can’t hurt his feelings?” He really wished he’d downed some of that vodka right about now, even though it wouldn’t really do much for him. “Are you really going to throw your life away like that?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to keep yourself from crying. You were supposed to walk down the aisle in less than thirty minutes, and your makeup artist would kill you if you’d ruined her hard work. “I… I love him.”

Bucky stared at you for a long moment, hoping that you would realize what a mistake you were making. But when it didn’t come, he let out a huff of air. “You keep telling yourself that.” He took one last look at you as he opened up the door, ready to leave. “Have a happy life, sweetheart. I’ll… I’ll see you around.”

He allowed the door to shut behind him before the waterworks started, forcing himself to not go back in when he heard you crying.

Stupid super soldier hearing.

“Bucky?”

He looked up to see Jo standing there, the hopeful look in her eyes quickly diminishing. “She, um… She says she loves him.”

He knew that she could hear you crying even without a super soldier serum coursing through her veins. Without even giving him a second look, she slipped into the room and out of his sight. Your sobs seemed to get even louder when she entered.

Not able to withstand the torture that was being so close to you without being able to call you his, Bucky ran.

He left the church, grabbing a bottle of champagne that was sitting on the catering truck outside.

It would seem that your reception was to be in the basement of the church, of all places.

He didn’t even bother to tell anyone he was leaving. After all, he’d ridden with the team to the church, and he didn’t want to have to beg one to drive him back to the Tower and miss the ceremony. They’d actually been invited.

You wanted them there. But not him. Not after how badly he’d fucked up.

It wasn’t like any of them actually expected him to be able to make it through the vows, or even into the sanctuary.

He aggressively wiped at his eyes as he walked down the crowded streets of New York City. “Don’t you have places to be?” He wondered aloud as yet another person bumped into him.

His feet knew where to take him before his mind did.

The 50 Street Station on Broadway.

The night you first met, you’d just finished a shift at Ellen’s Stardust Diner. Your roller skates were sitting by your feet as you waited for the subway. Bucky had just been wandering around the city and had somehow ended up across Manhattan.

He’d instantly been smitten with the girl working her way through university, and it had been history from there.

He sat on one of the benches, uncorking the bottle with little difficulty.

If anyone was curious as to why an Avenger was drinking in a subway station at noon on a Saturday, no one asked.

And in his nice suit, too.

“Oh, buddy, how the hell did you end up here?” He asked himself before taking a long swig from the bottle. Some of the bubbling liquid dribbled down his chin and he wiped it on his jacket sleeve that definitely cost more than his childhood home back in the twenties.

He would kill for some of Thor’s Asgardian mead at the moment.

But he’d just have to settle for some second rate champagne that, honestly, probably wasn’t even real champagne.

“Probably made in America,” he muttered to himself as he inspected the bottle.

Sure enough, right there on the back under all the nutritional information, it said Made in California.

“Can’t even get real champagne for her,” he said to no one in particular. No one in the station was paying him any mind, choosing to let him wallow in misery on his own.

Seven trains had passed by before he heard it.

“James?! Jamie?!”

He imagined that right? The wind from the trains was playing tricks on him. Making him hear your voice.

An exquisite form of torture, really.

“Jamie!”

But it sounded so real.

Curiously, he lifted his head, the almost empty bottle dangling from his fingers.

And there you were.

Still a vision in white in your wedding dress. Your veil was half torn off, your hair falling. The hem of your skirts was dirty from the muck that covered the streets of New York City. You held a suitcase in your hand, rolling your shoulder back to accommodate the weight and pressure of carrying it through the city.

“What are you doing here?” He asked as he got to his feet, the champagne forgotten. He wiped at his eyes, desperately trying to appear more put together than he felt. “You… You are here right? I’m not hallucinating or anything?”

“No, you’re not hallucinating,” you said as you set the suitcase down with a huff.

He blinked slowly at you, almost afraid that you’d disappear if he closed his eyes. “I mean, you never know with fake champagne.”

“Shut up.”

He watched as you sat down on the bench he’d been occupying for a little over an hour and a half, crossing your arms over your chest. “What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean, what am I doing here?”

“You’re getting married to Chad.”

With an eye roll that reminded him a lot of Jo, you kept your eyes on the approaching subway. “Clearly not.”

He snuck a peek at your left hand, heart pounding when he realized that you didn’t even have your engagement ring on. “Oh.”

You two sat in silence for a few minutes, not speaking. It was so peculiar to be in the exact spot that you two had met seven years before. So much had changed but at the same time, so much was the same.

He was still crazy about you, for one, and it would appear that you felt the same.

“I hate that you’re right all the fucking time.”

His heart skipped a beat and he finally turned to look at you. “What was that?”

And despite how much you fought it, a small smile was tugging at your lips. “Shut up. You know what I said.”

“I’m not right all the time,” he said slowly, inching his pinky closer and closer to yours. “I wasn’t right to leave you.”

“No, you weren’t.”

“I should’ve just told you that my anxiety was getting the better of me like you told me to.”

“Yes, you should’ve.”

He inhaled sharply as his finger finally brushed yours, and you allowed his fingers to intertwine with yours.

“Better late than never, I suppose,” you whispered, your eyes meeting his.

The silence between you was loaded with tension. And the both of you knew that you had a lot of things to discuss, things to figure out if you were going to work in the long run.

But you were here and he loved you and you loved him.

And that was enough.

#bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #shb3000wc

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maggyoutthere · 3 years

Text

It's funny how I'm actually putting effort on this. I'm putting actual effort on a shitpost.

Anyways I said I'd write a bad sonic creepypasta so here it is. Here's the catch: I like how its turning out so imma make it a 2-pary story. This is the first part. It doesn't have any scary shit but it has the basics for a shitty creepypasta: someone gets a old pirated/unreleased/defective game and tries them out despite getting warned that bad shit might happen.

Again I'm not a fluent English speaker so expect some grammar error and stuff like that ._.,

So ladies, gentlemen and non-bis, I present to you-

Sonic: Battle of Metal and Blood (Part 1)

Synopsis: Teen gets nostalgic mid-quarentine and starts playing old Sonic games. She asks for some cheat codes and shit happens.

So for context; I'm a 17 year old girl stuck home because of quarantine.

It had been 4 or 5 months since the virus sent everyone home. Students were playing Animal Crossing and DOOM all day to fill in the summer hours since no one could go outside. I never liked going to the beach so I was never really bothered by it.

Like many people, I found myself going back in time to easier phases of my life. I was rewatching old cartoon shows from my childhood, getting into MCR and P!ATD and just living in pure nostalgia. I also started getting into gaming again, even going to the point of setting up my Wii again just to play Epic Mickey, but I didn't exactly grow up with the Wii. I was more of a Playstation kid, so much that me and my bro got a Playstation 2 from our cousin when he eventually bought the 3rd one for himself.

My cousin was older than us; I remember him being 16 or 17 when I was like 12, so he was kind of our gaming hero. If there was a level in Crash Bandicoot we couldn't beat, we'd call my cousin and he'd do it in 15 minutes. He knew all the cheat codes, all the secret levels and extra content for the games he had; he was like a genius to me and my lil bro, so when he gave us his old Playstation 2 and games me and my sibling knew we were in for a treat.

We got this Sonic Gems Collection for the Playstation 2 from him. It's like a port of various older Sonic games like Sonic CD, Sonic The Fighters, Sonic R and so on. I grew up playing that game, especially Sonic The Fighters since I wasn't very good at the racing games.

I still had a working controller and a lot of free time so I asked my bro for help setting up the console. The thing was so dusty I was actually scared it wasn't going to work. We clicked the power button and the light on the console turned on. Me and my brother held our breaths as we put the DVD in the console and crossed our fingers. As the screen lit up with the SEGA logo and music started playing, I just hugged him and cheered. He set up the console in my room so I could play without having to go to his room (he was the one keeping all the electronic stuff) and told me to have fun.

I didn't even know where to start. There was so much I wanted to play now that I actually knew what I was doing. I thought about starting with my favourite one out of the bunch: Sonic CD. I'm a sucker for the retro 2D pixel games so that was a must. It was better than what I remembered; the music was so catchy and the art style was vibrant and it stood out from a lot of games nowadays that go for a washed out "hyper realistic" look.

As I kept playing, I eventually reached the level where Amy tags along with Sonic for a while before Metal Sonic bursts through a wall and kidnaps her. Oh yeah, Metal Sonic was a thing. I remembered him from Sonic R and Sonic The Fighters - and the fact he was in the fucking cover art of the DVD case. I absolutely loved the fucker in the games though. He had a cool design, and the idea of the villain being a copy of the hero gone wrong was so interesting to me at the time.

I ended up passing the level and even making it to Stardust Speedway. I was sweating since I'd never come this far at any game. My bro was there cheering me as I tried not falling on spikes or getting hit by Metal Sonic's attacks. I ended up making it till the end on top, but it was kinda sad seeing Metal crash face-first against the door like that.

I was done with that for a while, so I went ahead and played Sonic R and Sonic The Fighters for nostalgia. Again, the fucker was there, either as a boss or as an unlockable character. I ended up noticing how there were a bunch of games missing. There were empty grayed slots with question marks instead of the game titles. I couldn't understand if the game was broken or if there was something I was supposed to do, so I called my cousin in hope he would somewhat tell me what to do. He ended up explaining how the game made you complete all the other games to unlock new ones. I thought that was kinda stupid so I asked him if he had any cheat codes or something to make the whole thing available. He told me he was going to dig up his old stuff and ring me again if he found anything.

A few hours later, he sent me a message telling me he'd found something that should work. He told me he did have a cheat code but he thought it was best if I didn't do it. Here's the transcript from his message.

"There's something that might work but it's kinda weird. I got this memory card from a friend of mine and he said this should unlock all the hidden contents within the disc, but when I tried it some weird shit started happening. Most of the sonic games were unplayable no matter how many times I restarted the console or cleaned the disc. There should be an extra game slot but that's just a glitch. Something about the system trying to make up storage for the extra code. Just don't click on anything that looks like a glitch and you should be golden"

Well that was a bit discouraging, but we agreed to meet that afternoon so he could give me the memory card.

When I got home and plugged the cartridge into the slot on the console, I was kinda scared. What if the thing exploded or something? I gave it a try and the thing actually worked! As I clicked on the games section, everything was there! There were some vectorman games but I didn't know who that was at the time so I didn't really care about them. What I was more interested in was the museum. There were a bunch of unlockable promotional art and illustrations there that I never got to see as a kid, so you could imagine how joyful I was when I saw the museum section filled with pages upon pages of illustrations and renderings of the games. Some of them weren't even on the Gems Collection like some screenshots of Sonic Heroes.

I went back on the game menu and was surprised to see another game entry below all the vectorman ones. It was called "Sonic: Battle of Metal and Blood". What the hell was this? It surely wasn't in the cover art and a quick google search turned up nothing. Was it a glitch? It couldn't be; it looked too clean and intentionally made to be a glitch, not to mention that whole game titles don't just appear out of thin air. Game or not, something was programmed in there. I concluded it was probably someone's fan project that was in the memory card my cousin gave me. Why hadn't he mentioned it though?

I was too curious to turn down a mystery like this one, so I got up first to make a cup of coffee since it was already getting late. As I returned from the kitchen, I remembered to look at the synopsis of the game. I can't remember exactly what it said but it was something along the lines of:

"In this sequel to the famous Sonic CD, step in the shoes of Sonic's friends as they face their biggest challenge yet. Control Amy Rose and Miles "Tails" Prower and fight against the metallic faker himself, Metal Sonic, and stop him before he puts his plan to become the only Sonic in action"

Woah, that sounded exciting; I wasted no time. I got all cozy, kept my cup of coffee next to me

And pressed START.

To be continued in part 2

#sth #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #creepypasta #creepy story #short story #sonic gems collection #sonic: battle of metal and blood #battle of metal and blood #maggy moment #shhh i actually like how its turning out #i'm not that good at writing but this is the best i've written in a while

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dumbdotcomm · 4 years

Text

lessons in opposites

(a/n) a commission for my pal @fanfic-inator795! enjoy some raph and donnie bonding !

It’s not that Raph really prefers one brother over the other; he’s been blessed with three great brothers and one fantastic sister and Raphael is grateful every day, as sure as he’s got life and breath in him, he’s so grateful that he’s not alone.

April asks, just for laughs, for a silly documentary on their Lair Games, if Raph had a favorite brother; and off the bat, on instinct, he wants to deny that he does. He loves them all. But then he blurts out Mikey’s name without thinking and then things start to shift, and Raph starts to wonder if he’s a terrible brother for that.

“It’s not a big deal, Raph,” Donnie says, after having seen the clips of how little faith his brothers had in his athleticism, and that one little clip of Raph easily admitting Mikey was his favorite, followed up by Leo, “It’s just a joke…”

But he says it in the way that’s pinched and just a little forced like he does when he takes hard hits and bad falls and just wants to laugh it off because he’s fine.

Raph swallows, nods, presses a smile that feigns belief in Donnie’s words, but he can’t stop glancing over at his brother’s face the whole rest of the time they watch April’s (incredibly edited) documentary film.

His brother keeps his eyes downcast and does that thing where he wrings his hands till they get weirdly slick with this mucusy stuff.

Like when he’s hurt and holding back.

And Raph makes a silent promise, then, that he’ll definitely make it up to his brother.

---

Life has a funny way of just screwing plans and promises over. Raph trains extra with his father on early mornings, learning to think, to focus, to get his fears under control. Donnie locks himself into work by the time training is over, and then they go patrol and watch something on Netflix and then the day is spent and it’s 4am.

So it’s not exactly intentional, the way their paths just don’t cross long enough for Raph to really get the chance to make it up to Donnie. But it’s still shitty and Raph knows there’s something he can do- he has to.

And so he googles a bunch of stuff going on in Manhattan, something that wouldn’t be so obviously intended on compensating for basically saying Don is his least favorite brother. Something Donnie won’t suspect, because if he did-

“If you asking me is a way of ‘reparations’ for the Lair Games documentary, Raph…”

“It’s not-” Raph raises his arms in innocence, and crosses over his plastron, “Turtle’s honor, Donnie. ‘S just the guys...they’ll be all ‘that’s lame’, and you…”

“Wouldn’t think a teddy bear world is lame?” Donnie quirks his perfectly drawn brow and cocks his head a little at Raph.

This is going abysmally, but not quite in a way that wasn’t expected. Raph bites his own tongue from just spilling his intentions heartfeltly- because he can’t scare his brother off right now. He’s gotta play it cool.

“Uhhh, I mean, I-”

“Because you’d be pretty accurate,” Donnie interjects, and despite his voice remaining flat, his lips curve into a ghost of a smile, and Raph’s heart stops pounding so hard, “I was wondering when you would finally ask one of us, ugh a dream come true.”

Raph genuinely cannot tell if Donnie is being sarcastic, though roughly fifteen years of training has at least let him gather, from that weird way his brother’s eyes got super overbright when he was excited, that Donnie really, like super straight up, means it.

“Wow…. well, aight then,” Raph laughs with his words, still not believing how easy it was to simply…ask to spend time with his brother, “Just pick a disguise and we good!”

“Yup, normal disguise. Friday it ‘tis,” Donnie returns the laugh, a touch awkward, before taking his sandwich back to his lab.

And the slightly manic look that Raph catches in his brother, just as he slips from view, makes a lot of little pieces in Raph’s head come together, like a little, horrifying jigsaw puzzle.

Because Raph has been blessed with having Donnie as a brother for fourteen years, he knows a terrible plan forming when he sees one.

-----

Donnie takes pride in his intellect, like not in a super cocky way, he’s just glad he’s been gifted with the ability to make a pea shooter in one afternoon that also has the capability to laser off a bastard’s face.

Still he’s not too prideful to admit that he’s sometimes stupid as hell, in the emotional department, and social department. And while that’s not exactly ideal, Donnie’s got four pretty incredible siblings to lean on for that and so he doesn’t really complain about the impossibility of picking up social cues.

But sometimes, like when his older brother is standing across from him uncomfortably stiff, babbling on about Teddy Bear Town- well sometimes Donnie kinda wishes he did get it.

It’s only until he’s stacking his third layer of his sandwich that Donnie really understands what this is all about. Because Raph’s got his ‘I’m nervously trying to make it up to you’ stink, and then Donnie remembers the documentary, and Raph’s commentary, and the really…awful way Donnie pretended not to feel afterwards.

He doesn’t want Raph to pity invite him, he doesn’t need that. And Donnie’s gonna make sure his brother knows he’s fine- he’s chill and and he’s okay with potentially being Raph’s least favorite.

So he’s supposed to respond to Raph nonchalantly, to just go with Raph and be cool about it but-

“Shelldon, download all the info you can find on Teddy Town…”

-----

“Rise and shine, bud!”

Donnie must’ve drank four extra shots of espresso to be this hype this early, and Raph grips the steering wheel of the Turtle Tank a little harder to try and not smell so nervous. Because there’s no way Donnie could have actually known what Raph’s intentions were, like he had to have just thought that this was a normal thing, and not a ‘I’m so sorry I made you feel less than appreciated, please forgive me’ type of thing.

And Donnie is definitely onto something, even if he’s not onto Raph. He’s just got that glint in his eyes, and Raph feels just a little bit selfish for wanting this to be a normal day- for his brother to just be-

“Uh...thanks for taggin’ along,” Raph doesn’t intentionally cut Donnie off, but his brother’s talking a mile a minute about the history of Teddy Bear Town and Raph knows that he’s only doing it because he feels he has to.

Donnie stops himself, blinks, and puts his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, “It’s no big deal…” he says, in complete contrary to his hyperactive Ted Talk, “Being benched for a sprained ankle was shit, needed to get out anyway…”

He glances over at Raph and looks instantly, incredibly smaller.

Raph thumbs the steering wheel, drumming against it in thought, in a search for words.

He doesn’t have to do this kinda stuff with Mikey, and Leo never shuts up- and Donnie is just…

“Bluetooth, connect to my phone,” Donnie says abruptly, before Raph even gets the chance to think of something to say.

And they stay quiet, listening to music the whole way there.

------

Things feel significantly less awkward in the bigger crowd. Raph is grateful for all the noise and movement that he can shift his focus on, instead of the downcast way Donnie’s been carrying himself since halfway through their ride over here.

And Raph’s always kinda felt his younger brother had a tough time expressing himself- that they were different that way. That Raph carried his heart on his sleeve and that his brother didn’t. But now he’s starting to see that maybe he’s got some things twisted. That he and Donnie are a lot more alike in these things than Raph thought.

“Stay close,” he tells his brother, because as aloof as humans are, they’re still humans, and they don’t always accept what’s different.

Raph remembers telling Donnie that, when they first met April, when Donnie surprisingly was the first to reach out and grab her little hand and compare it to his. And Donnie had looked at him weird, and yeah, well humans aren’t the only ones that don’t understand ‘different’.

The memory hits Raph so suddenly, and almost makes him miss a step.

He turns to find Donnie staring at him, which must mean Donnie noticed, because of course he did.

And Raph stares back because oh. Holy shit.

“Uh…” Donnie glances around awkwardly, “Raph, you’re giving off a weird...vibe right now. You good-”

“Can we talk?” Raph blurts out, and surveys their surroundings, for a place to dip, “Like real quick?”

Donnie looks like he wants to bolt now, which would be ideal in the packed hallway of the mall. But he doesn’t. He just swallows and darts his eyes and nods.

Sure.

Pros to being trained ninjas is the ability to disappear quickly, and they find a quiet, tucked away spot where Raph finally lets himself breathe.

“You’re different,” he says it quickly and rushed and Donnie’s eyes briefly widen in some sort of surprise, but Raph presses on despite his sloppy start, “You….you think different, you think, like, way smarter than us, an’ you make different jokes and express differently an’ that doesn’t. It’s not bad, Donnie.”

His brother keeps his eyes to the ground, kicking gently at nothing, “I don’t care that you said I’m your least favorite, Raph,” he mumbles.

“But you do,” Raph counters back, and keeps his voice leveled, tries not to talk to Donnie too softly or else he’d feel babied, “And that’s normal, and I wish I could say that what I said wasn’t...I dunno, like a…”

“Reflection of how you feel?” Donnie poses, but his words aren’t angry, even if Raph feels his brother’s got full rights to be.

He sighs, deflating a little, “Yeah...yeah, I guess it’s that. But not because I think...it’s because I get really...weirdly insecure man. You’re a freaking genuis and I know you never try an’ make us feel dumb, but- and then we’re both super bad at words and I just… I dunno Dee.”

Raph takes the extra step to go close the distance between him and Donnie, and Donnie stiffens up- at first, for just a couple of seconds, “But I love you, ‘cause you’re an awesome person, and ya not my least favorite. You’re not. And ya don’t gotta pretend you’re cool with everything.”

Donnie pulls back, a dorky smile on his face, which is infinitely better than the sad way he looked earlier, even better than the way he pretended like everything was good and it wasn’t.

“You don’t have to pretend either,” Donnie says, unlocking their eye contact, and staring back at his feet, “I know you were trying to...to make it up to me, but. You could’ve- you didn’t have to invite me.”

“But I wanted to,” Raph says it and means it with everything he’s got, “Really, Donnie. A-and I wanted to do somethin’ that ya wouldn’t think was me just tryna get on your good side, ya know. Somethin’ we could just...do.”

“And I messed up, the whole info-dumping….”

He’s doing it again, he’s making himself smaller and Raph’s not allowing that.

“Okay, half of that stuff, I woulda never known- and ya looked all’a that up just to get to understand me better. I just didn’t want you...t’ think you had to...say all that.”

“And I didn’t want you to think you had to invite me,” Donnie quips back, but ends it with a small smile, “So I guess we’re in the same proverbial boat.”

Raph snorts, “The boat of insecurity…”

And Donnie, stiff and awkward and still full of feeling, takes his turn to hug Raph fully this time, “Screw that boat.”

-----

In the end Donnie makes his bear with a shitton of detail, getting so wrapped up in it that they spend a couple hours there.

And Raph’s bear is simple, not all that complex like his brother’s- but that’s more than okay, actually.

Their differences were more than okay.

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #raph #donnie #commissions #fanfic-inator795 #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt raph #tmnt #fic #my writing

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