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#independent!reader
cute-sucker · 1 month
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birthday boy
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[30.3.2024]
note: haha once again this is so self indulgent, but i love it so much so like >>> (please let me know if y'all want a party 2) words: 2k warnings: mentions of drinking, swearing, angst :)
"hey! [name], come 'ere!" a voice yelled after you.
you were putting on your lipgloss, lips puckered and shiny. 
you knew exactly who it was, but you chugged your drink and then kept walking even as you heard the light footsteps of a teenage boy. you couldn't help but roll your eyes, infuriated at the only one and only rafe. 
"i'm not your lap dog, rafe!" you said through gritted teeth, as he reached you. finally, you turned and stopped to see rafe's arrogant face. 
he glanced at your face, his tongue darting out of his mouth to lick his lips. 
it was the bonfire at kildare. the one place where kooks and pogues went to party all night. of course rafe was here, and you were there to have fun and get loose and if he created some sort of problem for you, you'd sack him in the eye. maybe a blossoming blue bruise would look great on his 'perfectly,' simetral face. your brother had taught you to defend yourself in the summer, and you wondered what your nasty hook would do to hid face. 
"make it snappy," you said glaring at him. he looked unfazed, smirking. 
"as lovely as always, aren't you?" he flirted, leaning against the wall. the expensive watch on his wrist glinted in the light. 
"speak." 
finally, he gave up sighing dramatically, looking as if he was going to fess up. though he looked incredibly cocky. 
"come to my birthday party. it's on the 19th" he told you, a mischievous glint in his eyes. the nerve he had! 
you groaned, "no." 
surprise flashed across his face, and then something like challenge flickered in his eyes. 
"but i'm a very good boy," he pouted. 
"could you kindly fuck off?" then you turned around, strutting to your friends. you wanted to say you weren't blushing, as your heart stuttered violently at his voice. 
rafe would be the end of you. 
10 years ago. 
"rafe! where are you?" you called, your 8 year voice squeaking with fear. you felt frantic, your small thudding. rafe and you were inseparable, and in that same fashion you had made him a hand turkey and he hung in his cubby. 
that was true friendship. 
and now he was gone. 
"[name]?" a small voice called. it was rafe hiding near the bushes. 
you ran as fast as your tiny legs could carry you. rafe eyes were pink from crying, and you felt yourself tearing up, as your hands trembled. 
"rafe? what happened?" you asked gasping. he was crouching, his little hands red. 
now he peered up at you with watering eyes. 
"i fell." 
the red welts on his hands and knees bled so properly you cried out in fear. 
"c'mon let's go to ms. asha!" you yelled and held out your sticky hand. he took it, and the two of you hobbled away. 
when you reached your teacher, rafe told her all about your help. he smiled at you, as you found yourself blushing.
"a sticker for your bravery," ms. asha fussed, giving you and rafe two firefighter stickers. 
"did you save him?" benny asked you, her eyes wide with wonder. you pushed from the admiring tone and felt your heart swelter with pride. benny was so smart, and for her to be admiring you...that was everything a kid wanted. 
rafe nodded, rubbing his knee, a sweet smile on his face. 
"yeah," you whispered out, as you puffed out your chest. you were a hero. 
2 years ago. 
you were nervous. it was after 8 years that you were going to go to the same school as benny and rafe. after second grade, your parents took you to europe for your studies. only plans had changed and now here you were in america. 
in america, looking at kildare academy with it's daunting building and high standards. 
"she'll be in good hands," the principal chuckled. your parents smiled, and you wanted to go back tightly holding your mother's hand.
you winced, as your mother slowly unwrapped your fingers from hers. she kneeled to kiss you on the forehead. 
"you'll do great things here. i mean-" then she gave your father an adoring look, "it's where the two of us met." 
then your principal led them away, as your parents waved goodbye. 
here was your future just waiting to be taken. 
the day passed quickly, and it was all going well until english. you'd so far completed all the classes and ate lunch alone. everything was fine.
at least that's what you kept telling yourself. 
yes. oh yes, it was fine that benny had passed without a single glance, or the fact that no one remembered you at all. 
hell, a few girls did remember you though, and they gave you half-hearted hellos. some of the guys eyed you with recognition but the people who mattered...didn't remember you. 
but you still hoped that maybe rafe would remember you, but that was until you realised that rafe was right there, and instead of recognition in his eyes, he looked at you with scrutiny. he'd changed, and you were surprised to realise that he was handsome
his frame had filled out, no longer a wiry little boy, instead he towered over you. he loosely wore his tie, his shirt ticked and a smirk that stayed on his face. his hair was a dirty blonde adorned with golden highlights. 
class began and you stumbled into our seat. the teacher introduced herself, ms. wetherbell and then turned her eye on you. her hand was outstretched in your direction. 
"come here, dear." 
you sat up too quickly almost falling as you did so. you blushed and there was something inside of you that was glad for this call out. maybe now rafe would recognise you. 
"we have a new member joining our class, [name] [last name]." 
you waved awkwardly, painfully smiling. 
then you watched rafe scrunch up his nose, and mutter something under his breath. 
you didn't hear it, yet everyone in the class heard it and started laughing. 
they kept their mocking eyes on you, laughter echoing through the classroom, ms wetherbell caught up quickly enough. 
"what did you say mr. cameron?" she asked coldly, and he smiled innocently. you could feel tears prick your eyes, 
"nothing at all," he mustered sweetly. his eyes followed you again and it was only then he realised who you were.
but it was too late. 
present. 
you lay in your bed now, your silk pink night gown on. you never thought of those memories, ones that reminded all that you had lost with him. after that day he had tried to apologise to you, following you until you told him that none of it mattered. 
you didn't want to hear anything from rafe cameron and that's why you wouldn't give him any of the attention he so badly craved. 
just as you drifted off to sleep, settling your paperback back on your side table, a sudden noise woke you up. it was the sound of a pebble hitting your window. you peeked out the window to check. 
there he was in all of his glory. rafe kneeling on your roof, clearly intoxicated, his eyes full of excitement as he swayed.
"why are you here birthday boy? you hissed mockingly. but as you watched his sway fear pricked your heart. you knew he would fall and break his neck if you didn't pull him into your room. 
he sighed, eyes closed as you roughly guided him into your room.
 "i missed you," he slurred and leaned on you. you tried to calm yourself, and not scream at him. you didn't want your parents to know he was in your room. 
maybe they'd think he was having a secret relationship with you. at that they would be pleased but at night? your mother would kick both of your asses and really? no thanks. you would rather not be grounded. 
"you liar," you whispered out. then you inspected him to make sure he wasn't hurt. he noticed you eyeing you, and gave you a crooked smile. he was always in his element. 
"like what you see?" 
you rolled your eyes, your voice a gasp "you wish."  
it was only then did you realised that he had a busted lip. curious . . . even more curious first dipping drunk out of his party, and now it looked as if he had fought. 
"did you fight someone? where else are you hurt," you asked him slowly. as much as you disliked him you couldn't let him wander around hurt. 
he winked in a drowsy manner. "i won, sweetheart. and just the one here." 
then he lifted his shirt to show a yellowish-blue bruise. it looked so bad you hissed quietly. then you slowly approached him with your cream. 
you peered up at him, round eyes full of worry. 
"may i?" 
he nodded, swallowing deeply. 
you tried to apply the cream as gently as you could. 
he hissed quietly, "a little softer, sweetheart." 
you dropped your hand, realising what you were doing. god, damn it! you looked at him again. drunk rafe, shirtless in your room as you treated him. 
you were crazy! instead of breaking down, you took a deep breath and applied some bandage. 
"why are you here?" you asked coldly. he opened his eyes and you fell still. 
"i told you . . . i missed you." he pouted, and you shook your head ready to get up. goddamn it. just as you going to get up, and tell him to get the fuck out of your room, he stopped you. 
"please don't leave me," his voice cracking, "i'm so tired of everyone leaving me." his hold was tightened on your wrist. instead of inching away from him, your whole body melted into his embrace.
he could make you do anything for him. and yet right now you thought you hated him but you were pressed to his side as he nestled his head in your shoulder. 
"tell me why you left that party," you asked him again, and you felt him touch your hair. he played with it, and you could smell the wine all over him.
"i couldn't take it. i had to be with someone who always cared about me. someone who i-i didn't treat every well," he murmured and you felt yourself recoil only for him to grasp your chin to turn you around to face him.
he sighed, "i'm sorry." 
you watched his eyes flicker with vulnerability. someone every single time this boy sneaked past your defence and broke your hold on reality. 
you got up to walk into your bathroom. 
"i need to change," you muttered, picking stuff from your cabinet.
"please [name]." 
"what, rafe? what do you want from me? i always tried to be your friend, but you didn't want that. what am i supposed to do?" you whispered as you felt your hands tremble at your sides. 
rafe shuddered and then turned to look at you. his eyes were clearer than ever. 
"i like you." he slurred, "i'll treat you like a princess and i have the money," he stumbled after you. 
you felt like screaming. "i don't want that! and you know that." your voice cracked, as you felt your whole body shudder with sadness.
"trust me. please trust me, this will be good. you're so pretty and kind and i can't get enough," he whispered, his scraped hands reaching for you. 
you paced around the room. "stop it! stop it!" you said finally. 
"i can't stop thinking about you and you're the only person i want," he whispered harshly, holding your hand, begging for you to look into his eyes. 
you walked away from him. 
"get out of my room," you yelled, "get the hell out of my room, rafe." 
and as he walked out of that door, your heart begged him to stop. you felt yourself drop-down, tears soaking your nightgown. 
your heart broke into a million pieces when he walked out of that room. 
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ceilidho · 6 months
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ok ex-husband Price where you and Price don't have any kids, but you separated for other reasons (the stress of being a military wife, John's overbearing possessiveness that's been steadily getting worse throughout the years, etc) and you've been doing a really good job at keeping a careful distance between the two of you. even though Price comes over all the time and phones you at work and constantly tries to seduce you whenever the two of you are alone. but you've been firm, kept him at arm's length.
cue a terrible series of events. you come back from a trip and inadvertently bring bedbugs back with you. you can't stay in the apartment while it's being fumigated and you don't have enough money to stay at a hotel for a few weeks while you wait it out. you're injured on the job at work and you have to take a month or two off, but those months aren't paid.
and you're forced to go grovelling back to Price for a place to stay and recuperate, pathetic and hurt and practically begging him to take you in because none of your friends would. you're at your absolute lowest and of course he takes that moment to exploit it. tells you that you never should've been working in the first place - should've been at home doing your little craft projects and painting the nursery for when you finally decide to pop out a baby or two.
makes you break the lease on your apartment and quit your job and immediately starts stitching himself back into your life. no more of that silly "separation" business. married couples sleep in the same bed, darling, of course you aren't going to sleep on the couch, he tells you, leading you to your old bedroom. everything's the same as you left it when you moved out - the picture of the two of you on the nightstand, your favourite mug on the dresser, the shoes you thought had gone missing are in the closet.
he lets it hang over your head, how easy it would've been for everything to go downhill for you if he hadn't been there. it's a very gentle taunting, breaking you down and bringing out all your insecurities. for how good of a life you thought you'd carved out, it was so easy for it to fall apart, so easy for everyone else in your life to have every excuse not to help. only your husband was still there for you in the end, even after your separation and everything. it makes you feel fragile and grateful around him, finally letting him put a baby in you after years of telling him that you weren't ready yet.
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ramen-flavored · 10 months
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Captain America wouldn’t approve of these fireworks scaring my dog
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inkykeiji · 3 months
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begging touya-nii to buy you pretty pink brass knuckles, with heart-shaped holes and a shimmering coat of magenta chrome, plus a matching pretty pink switchblade, with a razored prismatic blade and a handle encrusted with corresponding iridescent crystals—pearlescent, almost, so it matches yours, niichan!
he won’t, because little girls shouldn’t have such dangerous weapons—nor should they need them, not when they’ve got their big brothers with them, wary sapphire eyes watchful and protective, obsessive and excessive.
he won’t, because little girls shouldn’t sully their soft, sweet palms with such dirty defences—not when they’ve got their big brothers to do it for them, cuticles stained with blood and calluses tarnished with gunpowder, filthy hands strong and rough as they wrap around handles and wrists and triggers, as they push soft, sweet things behind their broad shoulders, against their hard chests, into their childhood beds.
he won’t, because even if he did, little girls wouldn’t know how to use them properly, little girls might hurt themselves—or worse, little girls might hurt their big brothers, might smash bones and split skin and slash hearts, might scratch and claw and gnaw their way loose (all by accident, of course; he knows you’d never do such blasphemous things on purpose, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less).
no, he won’t, but dabi might.
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scribbledghost · 3 months
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Have a 500 word blurb that's been sitting in my drafts forever. I was going to add onto it at some point, but honestly the more I look at it, the more I like it the way it is. Summary: Simon has a bit of a chat with his neighbor after she's had a tough day at work.
The sun is dangerously low in the sky when she finally pulls into the drive one autumn evening.
Simon watches from his porch as she leaves her car, walking up to her house like she’s got the world on her shoulders.
He knows that walk - he’s made it several times himself. And he’s watched her make it just as many.
He also knows it’s only a matter of time before she walks over to him.
“Cuppa?” he asks when she approaches a half hour later.
“Please.”
It’s quiet, the way she sits in the chair next to him. He brings her a warm cup of tea to match the one he’s been nursing and waits for her to take that first sip and sigh as she allows herself to relax.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“...I don’t know,” she answers. “Don’t really know how, I guess. Don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t think about what to say,” Simon advises. “Just say it.”
She goes quiet again, taking several more sips of her drink before she speaks again.
“Work’s gone to shit and I can’t escape it.”
“Been there,” he says. “How’s it gone to shit?”
“Just… overwhelmed. Too much work, too little time. Stretched too thin, and my job is the primary culprit.”
She pinches the bridge of her nose as she closes her eyes and furrows her brows. 
“And it’s not like I can just not do my job,” she says. “It needs to be done, one way or another. And I’m the only one who knows how to do it. At least right now.”
Simon is quiet for a moment.
“Then quit.”
“Excuse me?” she asks, removing her hand from the bridge of her nose.
“Quit,” he repeats. “Take some time off. I’ll help you out with your bills until you find something better.”
“Simon,” she says, in a tone he knows well.
It’s a warning.
He means it when he offers to help. He’d trim himself down to a shoestring budget if he had to - he’s survived on far less than what he’s got to work with now that he’s been able to bank his pension after his discharge. 
But he knows she’d never go for it. She’s too proud, too independent, too stubborn. Too much like him in that respect. Too unwilling to depend on someone else that heavily for her livelihood. 
So he shrugs and takes another sip of his tea.
“Offer’s always there.”
Again, he means it. She could come to him tomorrow and tell him she’s quit and he’d have no problem setting up a joint bank account and getting her access to it. He’d have no problem helping her as long as she needed.
Hell, he knows he’d let her never work another day in her life if she wanted. He’d care for her. Provide for her. He’d let her sit and never lift another finger. 
But that’s not who she is.
He thinks he’d like her a little less if it was.
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ffiahh · 8 months
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bartender!vi does that thing where she admires your outfit from over the bar, then ask you to twirl for her; while using her thumb and forefinger to pinch at the fabric, and palm at your body before she fucks you in the back on her 15 min break and you'll know she's serious and maybe willing stay longer then 15 min if she's popped the first few buttons on her shirt and has rolled her sleeves up her forearm
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thehomebodydiaries · 2 months
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It’s raining but I have errands to run so I’m reading instead
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Simon (Ghost) Riley's wife.
All of the shorts and fics I see of readerxsimon are all of the reader being this pretty much sweet little thing who can't look after themselves and are weak and while that's great and I could see Simon with someone like that I also could see him with someone strong and independent and doesn't put up with shit. So In saying that here is strong/ independent reader (Will be described as fem)
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Simon wasn't a normal man I mean sure he had hobbies like every other person but still then his hobbies were a little different to others, Instead of enjoying watching TV or playing pool he enjoyed the feeling of crushing someone's neck underneath his hands and yes sure he had a wife he would come home to but even that was still different, his wife wasn't some little gullible thing, she was extremely strong-willed and stubborn, If there was groceries? Simon wasn't able to bring them in Because she would be it to him, Opening doors? No, his wife did that she would get up to him if he tried to because she "was a big girl and could open a god-damn door if she wanted to." Don't even get him started on the gym, in fact he often felt himself having to constantly keep in good shape because he didn't want his own wife to be bigger than him, she was ruthless in everything she did and honestly, that's one of the things he loved about her but although she was though she was also kind, and loving, and forgiving. She was everything he could ever want and need in a woman even if sometimes he wanted to spoil her and she didn't let him that was honestly alright with him because as long as she was happy and content he was fine with that. That being said he made sure that she was spoilt as much as he let her even if her version of being spoilt was going on runs with her every morning, and watching true crime documentaries together. Another thing he adored about her was the fact that she didn't let anyone push her around, If she knew what she wanted she wouldn't let anyone get in her way or tell her what to do? Expect to be cussed out, Try and correct her about something? Expect to be cussed out some more and possibly smacked at the back of your head. Although his wife wasn't a small little thing he loved her with his whole, He couldn't imagine a world without her, when he woke up in the mornings he looked forward to his jogs with his wife, he looked forward to the arguments about who was cooking dinner and most importantly, he looked forwards to the cuddles at night in the comforts of your shared bedroom as he admired his strong and pretty wife.
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This mostly comes from an OC of mine but.
Another mashle scenario.
[Name], two lines, adopted child of parents who only wanted them for their two lines tries to become a god visionary the same year as Rayne.
They fail but it honestly doesn't matter to them. It was their parents wish to be one not theirs...
So they are mad, really mad. Ready to even make [Name]'s life hell. Until...
[Name] comes home and introduces their boyfriend Rayne Ames.
...
Their parents stopped talking with them after that. Still doing some parental duties but...
They know they rather stay out of their life.
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desired-deity · 4 months
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The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!
KENJI x Gn! READER
And 
ANDYSSJ5 x Gn! READER
Genre : Fluffy Headcanons for Christmas time!
A/n : Why, it’s the most wonderful time of the year everyone! Merry early Christmas!
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Kenji :
Literally the heat warmer of the house hold
You guys would make hot chocolate together and watch Christmas movies while it was snowing outside!
Blankets can’t always warm you up so your dear Kenji would cuddle you to death lol
Let’s just say that you accidentally spilt hot chocolate on Kenji one time during a Christmas party with other Vtuber friends that got you drunk so you couldn’t have any more hot chocolate…:(
“Heyyyy Kenjiiiii!” You rolled out, you were playing beer pong with friends and you got just a little bit tipsy. Anyways, you had hot chocolate in your hands right? So Kenji was a big concerned for you cause he had no idea why you were being so weird but anyways he went with it and the next thing you know, Shoto accidentally tripped you and you had your hot chocolate in your hands and the- BAM -you spilt you hot chocolate on Kenji and you fell on your face while laughing. 
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Andy :
Mr. Drummer boy! He would play some drums for you during the holiday and would actually teach you how to play if you wanted to learn
Tight hugs and cuddles in the couch while humming soft songs in your ears
Andy is also like Kenji, he is the definition of walking heater, you actually fell asleep thanks to your heater boyfriend when you guys had company over so it was basically just a chill hangout that day on Christmas
“Andy, you do realize that your s/o is asleep…right?” Kami states as he points to your sleeping figure, snuggled up against Andy’s chest. “Oh yeah, they’ve been like that for a hot minute” Kage said as he was going to play beer pong, Ironmouse and Shoto walking with him. “They’ll be fine, they’re just tired.” Andy says as he rubs the back of his neck while Kenji, Senz, and DrDeath come in to have a chat with everyone
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itsagrimm · 1 year
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deviation from the usual but the brainrot has set in and i need to set the record straight:
the call of duty character König is supposedly austrian, not german.
Austria and Germany are 2 different countries. Yes, we both speak german. However, there are differences and to treat Germany and Austria as interchangeable is rude. It's like pretending like Canada and the US are the same.
Also, the voice actor for König has the wrong dialect. The VA has a westgerman dialect while König is supposedly from further south. Dialects and generally language are incredibly important to german speakers and we can easily tell that something is off.
At last, there is a bit of a mix-up which military force König is part of. As a presumably austrian citizen it is unlikely that he is part of the german Bundeswehr which requires the german citizenship. He wears the Austrian flag on his uniform and there is little to indicate that he became a naturalised german citizen at some point so this whole thing does not add up.
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shutit-haha · 5 months
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Bakugou X reader from PR
This is VERY self indulgent and I'm puertorican so readers gonna have to be puertorican too. Might make this into a series, or at the least a longer piece. Let me know what you guys think. Sorry the ending is like non-existant.
Bakugou wasn't sure as to how he fell in love with you. Well actually he was. You were so independent. Spoke three different languages; English, Spanish and Japanese. And you are currently working on learning a fourth. You bought yourself a ring as a commitment to yourself. And you had your own big office in your own big business.
"I'm sorry why are you here again?" You were reading something from where you sat behind your desk. Your Japanese was perfect, the kind of accent he hears when at home.
"You scheduled the meeting," he growled, biting back an insult. You seemed so serious and yet in comparison to him still so small. Then again the man had a growthsport that turned him into a mountain.
"Oh," you laughed then. Your eyes crinkled in the corners hair falling back with the way you tossed your head. "That was probably a drunk buy one of my friends made. They're not from here so... and the coquito was stronger than we thought it would me." Your smile then fell, "I'm not paying for this am I?"
"You haven't hired me yet," he growled out again. His voice was harsher this time, the veins in his neck bulging from the strain of his venom.
Bakugou knows exactly how he fell in love with you. What he didn't know was how he stayed in love with you.
You didn't wake up at 5 in the morning like he did, or at least like how he thought you did too. No you slept in to damn near 1 in the afternoon and blamed in on whatever the fuck P.O.C time is. You started your morning with a shower and a skin routine. You'd stare at yourself in the mirror whole naked- which he did too but the way you did was...weird.
"What chu doing?" He was just as naked as you were hands hovering over your hips, breath fanning your neck.
"Shh," you shushed him softly. Your eyes were shut as you took a deep breath in. "I am beautiful. I am the epitome of beauty. Beauty is not a competition. You are not simply better than me because of how you look, nor am I better than you."
"Affirmations?"
"For the insecurity demons creep in during the night." You turn around to kiss him, arms wrapping loosely around his neck. Finally he grips roughly at your hips, teeth diving straight for your neck. "Insecirity always creeps in during the night, so I like to kick it out in the morning."
"You gonna be productive today?"
You shrugged. Turns out you weren't as driven as he believed you to be. You sat at your breakfast bar with a Journal and a cute pen. Your silk robe was wrapped around you, and your legs were crossed. Your feet didn't reach the floor so your slippers fell off, your barefeet were smooth and nails painted. He had no idea how you managed to be so flawless.
"Breakfast," he grunted. Bakugou (you figured out) was nosy. "What chu you doing now?" He leaned his head forward a little so he could read it.
"Thoughts, dream, aspirations, inspirations." You preferred him being a chismosa rather than machismo.
He didn't understand your worry or stress sure but that's because he was born here, in Japan. "Explain it to me again."
"I can't travel with you. I have to live here ten years consistently in order to file for citizenship."
"You're not-" He didn't want to finish that. He worried it might make him sound...you know.
"Visa," you grunt trying to bulldoze your way past the subject. It made you anxious and you didn't like it one bit. Not someone as confident and sure as you are.
"I'll just marry you."
"Not really how that works chuelo, but I appreciate you trying." You give him a lopsided smile.
"How the hell does it work then?"
"Can we not right now mi amor?"
He stares at you before sitting down with a huff. "Fine," when he replies one of his canines catching in the light.
"Thank you," you tuck away your hair.
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drewsephrry · 1 year
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i really want someone to write anything with rafey and this scene. he's so hot when he's mad.
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courtforshort15 · 2 years
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Independence Day
Matt Murdock x GNReader
Word count: 1,400ish
Summary: Your fearless vigilante is in pain more often than not, but his struggle on Independence Day strikes you harder than you ever thought it would.
Warnings: absolutely none. This is pure fluff and comfort
Masterlist
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You've seen Matt come home with various sorts of injuries.
Lacerations. Bruises. Fractured ribs. Torn muscles. Dislocated shoulders.
You've run warm wash cloths over his skin and done your best to wipe off his blood, you've taped broken toes together, and you've placed butterflies bandages over his eyebrows. You've patched him up where you can, and you've called Claire when it was out of your league.
You've seen him in pain. You've seen him tense and wheeze and flinch, all the while you cry internally at every new mark you see on his skin.
But somehow, the first 4th of July you spend with him is one of the most difficult nights you've ever had at his side.
He warns you, weeks out, that Independence Day is rough for him. You can only imagine that it is, knowing how loud fireworks can be, and how the sound must magnify as it bounces off of the skyscrapers and apartment buildings around you. To make matters worse, one of New York's major displays sits over the Hudson River, only 12 blocks north and 3 blocks west of the apartment he lives in.
He encourages you to go out with your friends like you've done every year before meeting him, insisting that he'll be fine, that he wants you to have a good time out. You don't have anything to worry about, he tells you.
Affectionately, you call bullshit.
There's no way you're leaving him alone during a night you know is bound to be painful for him. Matt is an A-class martyr, and whenever you hear him insist that he's absolutely fine, he usually isn't.
The choice is a no-brainer as you decide to spend the night in with him, and you know you've made the right decision the second the 4th of July celebration begins.
Matt is already tensing up before you hear the first BANG, having no doubt heard the sound of the rockets shooting up into the air before exploding in colors he can't see. You watch him reach for the noise canceling headphones he has sitting on his coffee table, and his ears are covered before you even can comprehend that the show has started. You're on the other side of the room when it happens, but you slam your dish in the sink and rush over to him the second you realize what's going on.
He's still standing, hands covering the headphones, as if trying to push them against the sides of head to keep all noise out. His face is scrunched up in pain, and your heart twists sharply in your chest.
Gently, you grab him by the elbow, slowly enough as not to startle him, and lead him over to his couch. You put a light amount of pressure on his chest to urge him to lay down, and he does so without a fight. A second later, he pulls you down with him, seemingly reluctant to part with you.
The noise canceling headphones do a decent job of cutting out some of the sound, he's told you. But as a result of trying to drown out the noise from the fireworks, he is forced to limit what he can hear directly around him, too. He informs you he'll be able to hear you if you're next to him, but you pick up on the fact that he's still nervous you'll walk too far away, and he won't be able to track your movement.
His arms are wrapped around you as the show continues outside his apartment building, and you feel him shudder with each BANG you hear rattle through Hell's Kitchen. The sounds bounce all over the buildings around you, and you know he feels each individual echo acutely and without mercy.
You're tearing up before you even know it.
"Please don't cry," you hear him mumble. Arms tighten around you, even as you reach down to gently press his head into the side of your neck. The headphones make things awkward, but you maneuver around it.
"I'm not crying," you tell him. Your loud sniff gives you away.
"Even if I couldn't hear you, I'd be able to smell the salt in the air." Matt rearranges his arms slightly so that he can run his fingers through your hair, something he knows will always calm you. You snort at the reassuring display of affection, though it's mostly aimed mockingly at yourself.
"I'm supposed to be comforting you, not the other way around."
"You are comforting me," he reassures you. "This is the best it's been for me in years."
The thought of him having suffered through this alone for decades makes your chin wobble. Matt is making soothing sounds in his chest, and you find yourself pulling him as close to you as possible. His body is still tense, and you can feel him twitch with each boom.
"You've seen me hurt before, sweetheart. This is nothing." The comment is not as helpful as he may think.
"Yeah, but...you get hurt as a result of going out at 2am and picking fights." He makes a noise of objection at your oversimplification of what he actually does every night. You ignore him. "This is...this is what you go through just by being alive."
You feel him take a deep breath, another shudder running through him. "I'm okay, I'll be okay, I swear. Don't be sad."
"I'm allowed to be sad when I see my boyfriend in pain," you argue quietly in response. You press a kiss to his forehead and he sighs into you.
Matt throws his leg over your hip as he shifts to lay half on top of you. You both know that he likes being able to curl up this close to you, and you love the feel of him draped over you, acting as your own personal weighted blanket. It's the perfect position for him to both seek comfort and offer it in return.
"Let me take you away next year," you say abruptly as the idea comes to you. "Let me take you somewhere quiet. Somewhere upstate."
"It's really not necessary, sweetheart."
"I disagree." You press another kiss to his forehead when he tenses up again at the noise outside. "You said the sound is bad enough that this is one of the few nights of the year that you find yourself largely unable to go out. Let's just go away for a night where you can have some peace."
Matt doesn't say anything at first, so you open your mouth to plead your case further. He cuts you off before you can.
"Just one night," he says quietly, and you feel a flood of relief rush through you, though it's quickly dampened. Things must be awful for him if he agrees so quickly, you realize. Your heart breaks further.
"Just one night," you promise him. "Jessica or Danny can step in if anything happens while we're gone."
"And we'll have enough cell reception so they can get ahold of us if needed."
You roll your eyes fondly. "I promise I won't take you so far into the wilderness that people can't call us if they need something."
"And we'll--"
"Just shut up and say you'll come somewhere with me next year, Matthew." He lets out a huff of laughter against your neck.
"You do realize that you're telling me you plan to stick around until next year, right?" He's joking, but you hear the quiet vulnerability in his voice.
"As if you could get rid of me," you grumble, but you smile as you do so. Matt must hear the grin in your voice because he snuggles in closer, and despite the summer heat lingering in his apartment, you find yourself readily accepting every inch of his body that he presses into yours.
"I'll hold you to that, sweetheart," he says softly as he lifts his head so that his lips are only a few inches away from yours. You crane your neck ever so slightly to capture his mouth with yours, and he sighs into you, tension beginning to leave his body for the first time since waking up next to you this morning.
"Please do," your voice is only a whisper when he places his head back into your neck. "I'm not going anywhere."
Matt arches against the hand you run lightly down his back, and he pulls your hand to his mouth so he can place a quick kiss to your palm. Despite your plans to eventually move with him to his bed, you find yourself tangled up on the couch with him for the rest of the night.
A few days later, you receive an email from Matt's work account that includes a list of no less than eleven quiet bed and breakfasts in upstate New York. 
You smile widely, and within an hour, you've booked one for next summer.
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covventry · 1 day
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Your face is all fucked up from taking the world by the teeth
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And there's blood on your hands you don't know whose it is
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