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marvelnatasha · 2 years

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Sam: Why did you save me?

Bucky: Steve would think I murdered you if I didn't.

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nubsibs · 4 years

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Bucky: I may not like or trust Sam.

Bucky: And he may be an irritating little shit.

Bucky: And also kind of an asshole.

Bucky: ...

Sam: ...

Steve: ...but?

Bucky: Oh no, that was it.

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ifwewere-gay · 3 years

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bucky: fuck you guys idc anymore

Sam: oh I know you wanna fuck us

Steve: true

Bucky: I'd rather shove a syringe in my eye-

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latinxmochi · 3 years

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no one:

sambuckysteve: bet *becomes enemy of state*

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sunshower · 4 years

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steve: i would say the odds of that happening coincidentally is vanishingly small

sam: i would say infinitesimally

bucky: yes, and i would say teenily-weenily. we all know words

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marvelnatasha · 2 years

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Steve: Why did you guys dress up as each other for Halloween?

Sam: Bucky is the scariest thing I could think of.

Bucky: Sam told me I should pick the dumbest costume possible.

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nubsibs · 4 years

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Bucky, entering the common room of the Avengers tower: Hey, don't go outside.

Steve: What? Why not?

Bucky: Oh, there's a little bitch outside.

Sam, yelling and banging on the front door: Let me in, fuckers!

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nubsibs · 5 years

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Steve: You know, people say that Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth, but they're wrong, cause they've never been in Bucky's arms.

Natasha: Of course we haven't been in Bucky's arms, he's terrifying.

Sam: One time I accidentally bumped into him in the kitchen, and he pulled out a switchblade.

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nubsibs · 5 years

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Sam: Alright, everyone synchronize your watches.

Bucky: I don't know how to do that.

Steve: I don't even wear a watch.

Nat: Time is just a construct.

Sam: Why do I even bother?

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nubsibs · 5 years

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Bucky: Ugh, I’m so tired of people telling me to “go to the hospital” and that I’ve “lost a lot of blood.” It’s my stab wound, not yours. Stay out of it.

Steve, almost crying: Bucky, you're gonna die, I'm begging you to go.

Sam: I mean he doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to.

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nubsibs · 5 years

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Steve: What the hell? Why did you stab this guy!?

Bucky: You weren't there. You didn't hear what he said to me!

Steve: Alright then, what'd he say to you?

Bucky: He said, 'What are you gonna do, stab me?'

Steve:

Bucky:

Sam: Okay, that's fair.

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nubsibs · 5 years

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Sam: So, are you a coffee person or a tea person?

Bucky: I'm barely a person.

Steve, softly: Bucky we talked about this.

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nubsibs · 5 years

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Steve: I love murder mysteries.

Bucky, trying his hardest to impress him: Oh yeah? Well, I don't mean to brag, but I've been a suspect in like, four murder cases.

Steve:

Bucky:

Steve: ...shit, that's hot.

Sam: *quickly dialing 911*

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nubsibs · 5 years

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Bucky: Oh come on, Sam, I wasn't even that drunk!

Sam: You spent all night flirting with Steve.

Bucky: So what? He's my husband.

Sam: You asked him if he was single.

Bucky:

Sam: And then fell to floor sobbing, when he said he wasn't.

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nubsibs · 5 years

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Steve: Hey, do you guys think I can fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?

Bucky: You are a hazard to society.

Sam: Also a coward. Do twenty.

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nubsibs · 4 years

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Bucky: I think I need more sleep

Steve: Well maybe if you stopped keeping me up all night we'd BOTH be less tired.

Sam: ... Oh?

Bucky: Shut up. We were watching conspiracy theory videos.

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