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#incorrect sambuckysteve
marvelnatasha · 2 years
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Sam: Why did you save me?
Bucky: Steve would think I murdered you if I didn't.
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nubsibs · 4 years
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Bucky: I may not like or trust Sam.
Bucky: And he may be an irritating little shit.
Bucky: And also kind of an asshole.
Bucky: ...
Sam: ...
Steve: ...but?
Bucky: Oh no, that was it.
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ifwewere-gay · 3 years
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bucky: fuck you guys idc anymore
Sam: oh I know you wanna fuck us
Steve: true
Bucky: I'd rather shove a syringe in my eye-
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latinxmochi · 3 years
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no one:
sambuckysteve: bet *becomes enemy of state*
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sunshower · 4 years
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steve: i would say the odds of that happening coincidentally is vanishingly small
sam: i would say infinitesimally
bucky: yes, and i would say teenily-weenily. we all know words
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marvelnatasha · 2 years
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Steve: Why did you guys dress up as each other for Halloween?
Sam: Bucky is the scariest thing I could think of.
Bucky: Sam told me I should pick the dumbest costume possible.
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nubsibs · 4 years
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Bucky, entering the common room of the Avengers tower: Hey, don't go outside.
Steve: What? Why not?
Bucky: Oh, there's a little bitch outside.
Sam, yelling and banging on the front door: Let me in, fuckers!
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nubsibs · 5 years
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Steve: You know, people say that Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth, but they're wrong, cause they've never been in Bucky's arms.
Natasha: Of course we haven't been in Bucky's arms, he's terrifying.
Sam: One time I accidentally bumped into him in the kitchen, and he pulled out a switchblade.
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nubsibs · 5 years
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Sam: Alright, everyone synchronize your watches.
Bucky: I don't know how to do that.
Steve: I don't even wear a watch.
Nat: Time is just a construct.
Sam: Why do I even bother?
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nubsibs · 5 years
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Bucky: Ugh, I’m so tired of people telling me to “go to the hospital” and that I’ve “lost a lot of blood.” It’s my stab wound, not yours. Stay out of it.
Steve, almost crying: Bucky, you're gonna die, I'm begging you to go.
Sam: I mean he doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to.
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nubsibs · 5 years
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Steve: What the hell? Why did you stab this guy!?
Bucky: You weren't there. You didn't hear what he said to me!
Steve: Alright then, what'd he say to you?
Bucky: He said, 'What are you gonna do, stab me?'
Steve:
Bucky:
Sam: Okay, that's fair.
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nubsibs · 5 years
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Sam: So, are you a coffee person or a tea person?
Bucky: I'm barely a person.
Steve, softly: Bucky we talked about this.
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nubsibs · 5 years
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Steve: I love murder mysteries.
Bucky, trying his hardest to impress him: Oh yeah? Well, I don't mean to brag, but I've been a suspect in like, four murder cases.
Steve:
Bucky:
Steve: ...shit, that's hot.
Sam: *quickly dialing 911*
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nubsibs · 5 years
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Bucky: Oh come on, Sam, I wasn't even that drunk!
Sam: You spent all night flirting with Steve.
Bucky: So what? He's my husband.
Sam: You asked him if he was single.
Bucky:
Sam: And then fell to floor sobbing, when he said he wasn't.
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nubsibs · 5 years
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Steve: Hey, do you guys think I can fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?
Bucky: You are a hazard to society.
Sam: Also a coward. Do twenty.
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nubsibs · 4 years
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Bucky: I think I need more sleep
Steve: Well maybe if you stopped keeping me up all night we'd BOTH be less tired.
Sam: ... Oh?
Bucky: Shut up. We were watching conspiracy theory videos.
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