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#incorrect avengers quotes
tonystarksfifthchild · 58 minutes ago
Natasha: Did it hurt?
Y/N playfully rolling their eyes: lemme guess when I fell from heaven?
Natasha with a smirk: No
Y/N confused: ..what then?
Natasha grinning: Did it hurt when you fell for me?
Y/N: If you’re talking about when I fell down the stairs earlier yeah, I have a fucking bruise Natasha. I fell down the stairs of course it hurt dumbass.
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Peter: Hey, Mr. Stark? Can you come pick me up from my rap battle? It’s over. No, I lost. He saw you drop me off and did a pretty devastating rap about it
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lesbian-deadpool · 9 hours ago
Y/N: Why did my last two brain cells have to be stupid and horny ones?
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incorrectquotesmcu · 10 hours ago
Bruce: We have an attic?
Y/N: Yeah, it’s upstairs.
Bruce: Yeah, yeah, that’d be the place for it.
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sirmagicstein · 11 hours ago
Sibling Bonding
Tommy: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much. Viv: Oh, you’ve been? Tommy: Once. In Monopoly.
Tommy, whispering to Billy, who’s on the phone with TJ: Ask her something! Billy: How are you feeling? TJ: Fine. Tommy: Something personal! Billy: At what age did you first get your period?
Billy: I was thinking I'd do some magic- Tommy: You? Magic? Billy, it says talent show
Billy, Tommy, and TJ are sitting on a bench Viv: Why do you guys look so sad? Tommy: Sit down with us so we can tell you. *Viv sits down* TJ: The bench is freshly painted.
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incorrectmarvelquote · 11 hours ago
Pepper: Why are you naked and covered in baby oil?
Tony: You know how you say I never glisten?
Pepper: Listen. You never listen.
Tony: Oh.
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deities-fanfiction · 11 hours ago
peter : ya'll ever....just watch prager-U to feel smarter than the people prager-U?
yazmin :
lydia : occasionally-
shuri : i already know im smarter.
morgan : whats prager-U?
tony in the other room : theyre idiots honey! like reindeer games!
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deities-fanfiction · 11 hours ago
lydia : ok first of all i may be in the killing buisness but i never signed up for aliens-
tony : what can you not...kill aliens , lil miss pele?
lydia : ...FIRST of all i dont think you should use that nickname due to the fact thats a deity....AND SECONDLY YES THE FUCK I CAN KILL ALIENS-
tony : noted and damn straight so you ARE signingup for aliens-
lydia : ....fine for my ego yes-
tony : i call this a win!
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cherubbarnes · 11 hours ago
Bucky taking care of you when you’re sick! (Headcanon)
A/n: this is just a quick lil hc cause it’s 01:30am as I’m writing this and I feel like a bag of crap all of a sudden. Could be a delayed reaction to the vaccine, could be dehydration, exhaustion, who knows? I hope y’all enjoy! <3
Okay so he’s from the forties so obviously he’s gonna try to make soup or something like that
Except he probably doesn’t have all the stuff to make said soup immediately
So he just fucking swaddles you up in blankets on the couch like a lil burrito
And he kisses you on the head before he leaves to sprint to the shop
He’d come back to find you fast asleep and just leave you be while he’s cooking
His soup would either be terrible or amazing, I can’t decide
But let’s just say it’s amazing and he wakes you up with it and you don’t even have to move
He just gently manhandles you
If that’s a thing??
Up into a seated position and moves some of the blankets away so you can free your hands
Not that you’d have to lift a finger in his presence
Like the second you’re done, he immediately takes the bowl and washes it and puts it away
Immediately makes you a cup of tea
Immediately sweeps every single tissue into the bin
Every sickened and cold-ridden groan that comes out of your mouth is met with a peck on the lips
Despite your protests
Because the man doesn’t care about getting sick so long as he’s making you feel better
He’d definitely watch a romcom with you with your head in his lap
Like cuddled up to Bucky watching Notting Hill??? That’s enough to make you pretend to be sick just to experience that
And when you fall asleep, he just scoops you up and plops you into bed
And you half wake up to find him putting vaporub on your chest and pillow so you can breathe properly
And he stays up half the night in case you have a coughing fit or need some painkillers
Makes sure you stay on your side so he can rub your back if you cough in your sleep
And you wake up the next morning to warm tea and honey
And an abundance of cough drops and medicine just in case
And he makes you toast just the way you like it
And you realise how wild your hair looks so he moves behind you
And gently brushes it out
Like so fucking gently
Then when he’s done he puts it in a loose braid for you
Kisses you on the forehead when he comes back around to your front
What I’m saying is, he’d baby you so, so much
Because he’s a softie like that
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doitwritenow · 12 hours ago
Stephen: Do you ever think about these things before you say them?
Tony: Yeah, I do. I think 'Wow, that's brilliant! I should say that out loud!' and then I do, and it's spectacular. It exceeds my expectations.
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overheardatstile · 14 hours ago
maika: guys, we need a plan.
akizuki: shoot everyone.
maika: one that goes further than shooting everyone.
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incorrectmarvelquote · 14 hours ago
Tony: [to Clint] You're what we in the scientific community call 'a lil bitch'
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rosieshipper · 15 hours ago
Tony: K munchkin, can you say purple?
Little Rosie: Purple
Tony: Say Apple
Rosie: Apple
Tony: Say Yellow
Rosie: Yellow!
Tony: Say motherfucking asshole!
Rosie: Motherfucking asshole!
Tony: *Wheezes* Don’t say that. Don’t say that. Daddy was naughty. You’re cute tho *chuckles*
Rosie: *giggles*
Tags: @astralshipper @aricka-and-her-fictional-others @recordplayershipping @magicalbunbun @journalofdeath
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incorrectquotesmcu · 16 hours ago
Wanda: Hey, what are you reading?
Y/N: A book of things that I love.
Wanda: That’s a photo album with pictures of me in it.
Y/N: What a strange coincidence.
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