#in which i talk more about a show that ended almost 10 years ago...

[ciaonicole85]

Part 6: What Then?

It's over kids! The longest and final chapter is done. Chris Storer & Co. are probably going to put our beloveds through it in S3, but until then let's enjoy our low-key angst and romance. Post Season 2, Canon-Compliant, swoony, girly, fluffy. A happy-ending obviously.

After 10 years of grinding himself into dust Carm’s body began to surrender. About a month after The Bear’s opening, he came down with a cold that turned into a low-grade fever, a bitter cough with lime green mucus, night sweats, and mind-numbing exhaustion. After two days Sydney and Fak showed up to his apartment and dragged him to the emergency room. It was pneumonia and dehydration. The young male doctor muttered that his lungs sounded just like his father’s, a 40-year smoker. Yes, pneumonia was the primary reason, but a man Carmy’s age should be in better shape. He was out of commission for a whole week. The regret of letting down The Bear crew so soon after the Friends and Family fiasco motivated him to make a couple changes. First, he allowed himself only one emergency cigarette a day, which he needed less and less. Second, he went outside on Mondays, when the restaurant was closed. If the temperature was over 30℉, he took the train or walked to a park. His favorites were Humboldt and the Garfield Park Conservatory. Today he had come to the latter with his sketchbook and pencils in his backpack. Since the renovation he had continued drawing.

As he went towards to his favorite bench, he noticed a slender woman walking ahead of him. Her height, long swishing braids and jacket were identical to Syd’s. He compulsively began jogging towards her. Before he could call out her name, the woman pounced on a tall lanky man in front of her, wrapping her arms around his waist. Carmen had the sensation of being pushed off a diving board unexpectedly, his stomach pitching forward, unable to breathe much less scream before slamming into the water like a brick. The man turned and picked up Sydney up, planting a kiss on her mouth. He spun her around and…she wasn’t Syd. Thank God.

Carm made his way to the bench and hunched over, his head in his hands. She wasn’t Syd he recanted over and over until the feeling of relief gave way to self-reproach. This time it wasn’t her, but one day it would be. Would he be able to live with that? Uncle Jimmy’s warning not to be an overthinking manichino flashed in his mind. It was time to do something. He took out his sketchpad and began thumbing through it, an idea beginning to take shape. Hopefully, it wouldn’t scare Syd away.

The following Monday Sydney was in her cousin’s salon getting her entire life. Her microbraids were taken out, her hair was washed, deep conditioned, her scalp massaged, and now she was getting box braids put in. They were accented with delicate gold hair cuffs. She drowsed in the chair, with an almost empty to-go container of jollof rice in her lap, as her cousin and another hair stylist quietly discussed the latest season of Love is Blind.

“Sydney babe, would you ever go on Love is Blind?” her cousin, Ashley, asked in a louder tone.

Syd startled and rubbed her eyes.

“Never. That’s insane.”

“I got a message on IG that it’s coming to Chicago. You live and breathe your job so when are you going to meet somebody? Maybe your soulmate is in one of those pods!”

“Why don’t you apply then? You could find “love” and get more exposure for the salon.”

“Same for you and your restaurant ma’am, but I have a man.”

“Since when?”

“Since three months ago. His name is David, he’s a chemical engineer and the son of you know, Ms. Jumoke, she goes to the African church on Mackinaw…St. Paul.”

“Yeah, I remember her. Her sister used to watch me when my dad worked nights.”

“Anyways, back to you. Are you dating anyone, or should I send you the show application?”

“I don’t think love is blind. Have you seen the people they cast? Nobody too unfortunate-looking gets on. It’s so shallow.”

 “Ha! You’re one to talk. You have a very distinct type…white boys with tats and muscles.”

“Ashley, there’s been two of them. Like, that’s not a pattern.”

“No, three! This boss, no “partner”, of yours, had Sydney written over him. The family never sees you anymore.”

“I came to lunch at uncle and auntie’s last month! Besides, opening a new business is like having a kid. You know this.”

“Sure, but when I had dinner at your restaurant and you introduced us, he complimented you for five minutes and then followed you to the kitchen like a whipped puppy.”

Sydney grinned biting her lower lip and covered her eyes. Her cousin stopped braiding and hugged her.

“Aww…my baby cousin is finally going to get some!”

“ASHLEY!” Sydney groaned pushing off her cousin’s arms.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop, but I am happy for you. He is sexy. That neck is thicker than a tree stump.”

Sydney who had just taken a sip of her sweet tea, spat it out all over the mirror.

“That’s on you, Ashley!” she choked out between laughing and coughing.

When she was able to contain herself, she tried to reel her cousin back in. Talking about romantic potential with Carmy gave her too much pleasure. If he was content with the status quo she didn’t want to get her hopes up.

“Nothing really is going on. We’re business partners and we’re pretty good friends and it’s probably best we keep it that way.”

“Yes, and he gave you an equal share in the restaurant out of the friendly kindness of his heart.”

“You know, I think he would do that, because I’ve put in so much work, but it did feel like it was something more, at least his Uncle Cicero or Jimmy seemed to think so.”

“Girl, watch out. His sister and an uncle like you!? Would you take his last name, hyphenate, or keep Adamu?”

“Ugh, I’m not going there with you! Shouldn’t you be done with my hair by now?”

“If you want it done right it’ll be 2 more hours. If you don’t…30 minutes?”

“Fine, take your time but please let me sleep.”

Sydney closed her eyes, admiring her self-control. She hadn’t told Ashley that Carmy asked her to come by The Bear this evening. He was reworking a few old dishes. The invite was made at the end of the night a few days ago while they were turning off the lights. She said yes as they pulled down the last switch and she couldn’t see his expression, but she heard him exhale loudly as if he feared she’d decline. Sometimes they meet up on Mondays to network with vendors or collaborate on menu ideas, so this wasn’t out of the ordinary. However, she intuited he was hiding something again like when he and Nat surprised her with a share in the restaurant. This time she didn’t pester him for details, knowing that it was probably worth waiting for.

When Syd arrived home at 3:00 pm she could’ve folded laundry and watched an episode of Psych, but she decided to pretend this was a date; well, like she was preparing for a date. It was a long time since her last. She had entered the Convent of Failed Dreams after Sheridan. Then The Beef/The Bear became her world. The light blue cuffed jeans and stripped white and mint green button-down shirt she was wearing was more than appropriate for a food brainstorming session. However, Carmy’s mysterious attitude might be concealing more great news. She might as well look good when and if he had some.

She took a luxuriously long shower, shaved, and rubbed in her mandarin-scented body oil. Then she entered slowly sifted through her closet considering a red jumpsuit, or just nicer jeans and a blouse when her eyes fell on her marigold-colored shirt dress. It was knee length, comfortable, but chic and the color made her complexion pop. She paired it with a brown and gold oval buckle belt and brown flats because she might be standing in the kitchen for hours. After a short struggle she decided to keep the top two buttons of her shirt dress open. It was only a collar bone, not cleavage. Then she considered makeup. She hated wearing a lot of it; her skin felt suffocated with foundation. She did her brows, applied mascara, a little mineral powder, a smidge of highlighter on her cheekbones, and finished with the Fenty “Hot Choclit” gloss bomb her cousin had given her as part of a set for Christmas. Her new braids with the gold cuffs made the look even better and Sydney couldn’t help admiring herself more than usual in her floor-length mirror. She felt so delicious that she ordered an Uber rather than sit on the train. She would take it later or maybe Carm would give her a ride home.

Just before she could lock the door Emmanuel came up the stairwell, his face lighting up.

“My baby girl, you are stunning! Where are you headed?”

“Thanks, daddy. I’m just going to the restaurant. Felt like dressing up for once.”

“So, is it a staff meeting?”

“No, just working on some recipes. I gotta go. My Uber’s waiting.”

Emmanuel leaned against the door and nodded with a sly smile.

“Oh okay, I see. Tell Carmen I said hello. Have fun!”

Sydney’s eyes widened and she ran down the stairs waving goodbye. Her voice couldn’t be trusted.

When the car arrived at the restaurant, the sky was overcast, the evening darker than usual for the time of year. She let herself in and observed the layout. The lights were low, and the back center booth was set for dinner, with a single table candlelit. She could see Carmy in the kitchen already sautéing something. She was headed towards him when he looked up, seeing her through the window and rushed to meet her in the front.

“Syd don’t-” he began before he was immobilized by the vision before him.

Sydney was similarly taken with him and marveled at how often they were of the same mind. Carm was wearing a crisp button-down blue shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows, the shirt tucked into dark navy pants, and he had gotten a haircut. Somehow it made his eyes stand out more. The sides were moderately tapered, his hair on top remained almost as long as before, and one of his rogue curls was damp against his forehead. He was perspiring, apparently having been cooking for a while.

“Nice haircut”, “You look amazing” they began at the same time and laughed nervously.

Carmy started again, beating his trusty spoon against his palm.

“So, the food is almost done. Just have a seat over there and I’ll be right out.”

Sydney nodded, a little confused and excited for this change of plans. She sat in the booth and noticed the speakers were playing The Teskey Brothers’ “Take My Heart.” She leaned back and closed her eyes letting the lyrics wash over her, her emotions stirring with that sweet ache.

“Take the time to notice what you really need, 

You’ll find it’s a little more simple, than what you thought before,

But I can say for certain that I’ve got more than I ever had before,

By remembering the little things that make my heart warm.

So take my heart and cut it into two,

After all the only thing missing from me was you,

You’re all I want, you’re all I need, you’re the air I breathe,

Cause after all the only thing missing from me was you.”

“Hey, are you good?” Carmy asked  approaching the booth with their plates.

Sydney sat up and cleared her throat.

“Yes, I’m good. I really like that song. Reminds me of-“

 “Otis Redding?”

“Yeah.”

Carm carefully placed the plates on the table.

“Well, speaking of throwbacks, I made-”

“Pork confit with onions and rhubarb!”

 “Yes, and after we’ll have Milk and Honey.

Sydney bit the inside of her mouth trying to absorb what seemed to be happening.  Carm muttered something about getting their drinks and went to the bar for their club sodas. Sydney remained mute, not knowing if she should ask him what this meant now or let it play out. “Don’t get ahead of yourself”, she admonished her heart.

He returned to the booth with their drinks and encouraged her to start, rubbing his chin as she put the first bite in her mouth.

“That’s it Carmy. Maybe even better than the first time,” Syd purred the pork melting on her tongue and some of her anxiety with it.

He blushed and began eating too.

“It is pretty good. Eleven Madison Park taught me a lot.”

The meal was mostly silent except for the occasional ejaculation over some element of the dish. Carmy couldn’t help gazing at Syd, taking in each detail, and rejoicing in the whole. The dip above her collar bone that rose and fell whenever she swallowed, made his head swim. Her lovely face was absolutely regal framed by her new box braids. Syd’s brown skin glowed in the candlelight and a heavenly citrus scent emanated from her. Whenever her eyes caught his obvious staring, he was too filled with gratitude to look away. Sydney’s eyes were soft and filled with kindness for this dear, lovestruck man. He looked helpless. In moments like this she remembered her capacity to build or obliterate him at will.  “Go with the flow” she reminded herself.

After they finished the main, Carmy took their plates and returned, with dessert, Milk and Honey. Syd lit up at the sight and when she tried it a wave of surprise flitted across her face.

"Is that mango? I didn't taste it at first, but then it like...bloomed at the back. Wow!"

"I thought it could use a Sydney twist. You always grab the mango lollipops off Sug's desk."

She resumed eating her dessert. Carm noticed everything about her. She'd played the Teskey Brothers, once or twice while they cleaned after a service, comparing them to Otis.

The Milk and Honey was devoured too soon and just as she wondered what else was on the agenda, Carmy took their bowls and returned with a package tied with twine. He set it in front of her, hands trembling, and sat a little further away than before. Syd perceiving his anxiety didn't raise any questions. She untied the string, removed the wrapping paper, revealing a red leather hand-bound notebook. The cover was engraved with her initials. On the first page was one of Carmy's drawings. It was a curbside view of The Bear. Several lined pages followed, then a drawing of the grapes in bone marrow broth. This alternating of lined pages and his pictures continued throughout the thick notebook. There were more pictures of their recipes, the various designs of her head scarves, and some were of her in different attitudes. In one she was leading expo with the confidence of Napoleon, and another was a portrait, her chin leaning on her hand, with a faraway expression in her large brown eyes. There were several others, so perceptive that Sydney felt naked. Adored. The final picture was surreal. It was a profile of Carmy's head the entirety of which was filled with Sydney wearing a hopeful smile and the scarf and shirt she'd worn her first day at The Beef.

She couldn't stop looking at it, her index finger tracing the lines.

"Sy-d" Carmen croaked his voice thick.

Breaking.

She looked up to find red-brimmed blue eyes searching hers.

"Come here" she breathed and no sooner than she blinked he was at her side.

"Syd" he tried again. Hyperventilating.

"Say more", she gently commanded smoothing his hair back before taking his hand in her lap.

This disarmed him, and he grinned in surprise. That was his line.

"Okay."

Breathe

"I want you Syd. I want to be with you.”

Breathe

“I want to do everything with you or not at all."

Then for the first time he wanted to say the words that had been a weapon for most of his life. They either were forced on him or yanked from him. His mother thought those words meant meekly submitting to her abuse. For Mikey it was cutting him off, so he wasn't exposed to his self-destruction. He never got to say it all. Claire believed it was part of a script. If he would only play his role and ignore who they were underneath, those words would become true enough.

Now, he had a new idea about those words, and they were wrapped up in this beautiful, talented, funny, tender, generous, stubborn, loyal, woman. His friend.

Suddenly they didn't hurt. He continued leaning to rest his forehead on hers.

"I love you."

Sydney blinked slowly as if in a trance, tears dropping to their joined hands.

Carm didn't move, but his face was filled with concern.

'Syd, are you-" he started to ask. Then he was spinning.

Sydney kissed him.

His neurons habitually used to process grief, anxiety, and small doses of happiness, trembled with the unusual amount of joy coursing through him.

Sydney was delirious. Her only thought was, he loves me.

Carmy couldn't close his eyes. The curve of her soft cheek so near his made him want to cry.

Then he did, for Sydney said,

"I love you, too."

#the bear #Please schedule an intervention if I post any more fics this weekend #sydcarmy #sydney x carmy #carmy x sydney #sydney adamu #fan fiction #syd adamu #carmy berzatto #carmy the bear #carmen berzatto #sappy #slow burn

[drewharrisonwriter]

Is that alright?

Pairings: Henry Cavill x Singer Reader

Summary: You are a musical guest in The Graham Norton Show on an episode that also features your ex-boyfriend, Henry Cavill. You play your latest single that you've written when you were 18 and in love with Henry.

A/N: Implied previous relationship. I don't think there are any more warnings, except the delusional situation that I've concocted. LOL This is based on the song Is That Alright? by Lady Gaga from The Star Is Born movie.

Check out my fic masterlist.

As the stage lights dimmed, the audience of The Graham Norton Show erupted in applause, eagerly anticipating the next musical guest. The cameras panned to the artist nervously waiting in the wings. You took a deep breath and stepped into the spotlight, gently sitting down on the chair and placing your hands on the ivory keys.

With grace and confidence, you began playing your latest single which took you nearly 10 years to release. A song you've written when you were so deeply in love with the love of your life, Henry Cavill.

As you began to sing, your voice resonated with a depth of emotion that captivated everyone in the room.

When the last note faded into silence, the applause was thunderous. 

You took a gracious bow and went over to the red couch where the guests for the night were all on their feet, applauding as well and congratulating you on your heartfelt performance. 

Henry, being a guest as well that night, caught your eye as he extended a hand to shake yours. You gave him a warm smile as you shook his hand. 

"Y/N, that was absolutely stunning." Graham began when the greetings and applause were over. "This single is truly heartbreakingly beautiful. Tell us about it!" He asked enthusiastically.

You glanced at Graham, taking a moment to collect your thoughts. This was the question you were both expecting and dreading.

"Thank you, Graham." You began nervously. 

It wasn't that it was your first ever TV guesting, but it is the first time you were sharing the screen with your now excessively famous ex, Henry Cavill. Talking about the song you wrote about your relationship with him nearly ten years ago is a bit embarrassing on your end. 

"Yes, 'Is That Alright?' is a very personal song for me. I actually wrote it when I was 18 years old, so like almost ten years ago when I was deeply in love with someone who meant the world to me."

The audience watched intently, unaware of the connection between you and the other guest on the show, Henry Cavill. But Henry, caught off guard by your revelation, nearly choked on his Martini but tried to play it cool as he waited for you to continue. 

"Ten years?!" Graham exclaimed a little exaggeratedly. "Why did it take you that long to release this gem?" 

You laughed a little, hoping you looked cool and calm enough. 

"The long answer or the short answer?" You joked and everyone laughed. 

Even Henry was laughing, you were always funny, and he was amazed you were able to preserve your humor and wit despite the nerve-wracking fame you've garnered over the years. 

"How long will the long answer take?" Graham quipped.

"However long it takes the crew to give me five shots of tequila." The studio erupted with laughter, Graham was laughing behind the cards in his hands. 

"No, I'm sorry." You began, "Okay. So for real, this song holds immense significance to me, it’s a sort of love letter, you see… and these are the words I wanted to let the person I wrote it for know but I never had the chance to.” 

You saw Henry bit his lower lip and look down on the drink in his hand. 

"Why weren’t you able to give this ‘love letter’ to them?” One of the guests asked as you were drinking.

“He broke up with me.” You said shyly and laughter ensued once again. 

“How old were you again when you wrote this?” One of the older guests on the couch asked, an actor, that you can’t remember the name of but looks an awful lot like Nearly Headless Nick from Harry Potter. 

"Just 18. I was so young when I wrote it..." 

"You were binge drinking at 18, you were not THAT young," Graham said in jest and everyone laughed once again. 

You chuckled along with the audience, appreciating Graham's lightheartedness amidst the delicate subject. From your peripherals, you saw that Henry was looking in your direction, he was laughing, too. 

The conversation flowed, everyone on the couch asked their question or complimented your latest single, except for Henry. Graham, noticing how awfully quiet he was, asked, “And Henry, how do you find Y/N’s latest single?” 

You felt a lump form in your throat, you did your best to swallow your drink and as Graham asked Henry.

Henry chuckled, looking down at his drink a bit before looking at you and saying: “It’s beautiful.”

“Awfully unfeeling.” Graham quipped with a fake whisper and eye roll and laughter ensued once again. 

You laughed at Graham’s remark, too and thanked Henry. 

When the show ended, you made your way backstage to hurriedly gather your things when you heard someone clear their throat behind you. You turned to find Henry standing at the door of your dressing room. “Hi…” He said softly. You said a quiet hello and asked him to come in. 

“I’m so sorry, but…” He began as you zipped your bag. “Do you have any plans for tonight?” 

You straightened up and faced Henry, blinking fast trying to absorb what he just asked. 

“Uh…just go back to the hotel and that’s it. Order room service, maybe.” You answered honestly, feeling your face turn warm in slight embarrassment for your lack of fun plans for the night. 

He chuckled lightly, “May I interest you with a Pint?” 

You might have stared at him a little too long before answering, because you saw him lightly cock his head to the side. “Uhm… sure.” You managed to say, finally. 

“Perfect. Meet you outside in 10 minutes?” He said with a huge smile, and you only nodded in reply. You watched him walk out the dressing room, the smile never leaving his face. 

You were a bit shocked.

It’s been nearly a decade since you’ve last seen or spoken to Henry. But the last few minutes… they didn’t feel like much time passed. You sat down and breathed, you can do this… 

It’s just Henry. 

It’s just Henry.

TBC...

#henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill #henry cavill fic #henry cavill x #henry cavill x female reader #henry cavill x singer reader #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill x plus size reader #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill x y/n #henry cavill x you

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA FOR KISSING MY ROOMMATE GOODNIGHT?

(everyone is in their 20s. names are fake)

I’d like to start off by giving background, I(M) live with my roommate Salt. We’ve been living together for a couple of years now and met through mutual friends.

I’m straight. Salt is gay in a very open, stereotypical sense(yk flamboyant, effeminate etc) and I’m not saying this to judge him/say I resent him or something he’s a dear friend of mine and I couldn’t care less abt his sexuality or how he chooses to express himself. However it’s important to mention this for the sake of AITA

The actual ‘issue’ started a year ago, where we were both drunk coming home from a party, I was struggling to get my keys out so he called me a idiot and then just.. kissed me??

That caused me to question my sexuality for a while because being a straight man you’d think I’d be repulsed or bothered by it but no I didn’t really enjoy it(not like there was smth to enjoy it was like a couple of seconds) but didn’t really mind it either in fact it didn’t made me feel any different than how I’d feel kissing a random girl I suppose?

So yeah I experimented with my sexuality for a week or so and even almost hooked up with some guy but nope. Still straight. Just didn’t mind him(probably because of how close we are)

Anyways back to the point after that Salt avoided me for a while but in the end we did have a talk which was basically him saying he was not attracted to me, how it was a spur of the moment thing and also apologizing if he made me uncomfortable.

To that I told him he did not and joked about how he could do it again.

Fast forward a month(?) later the “kissing the homies goodnight” meme came out, so one time I asked him where was my goodnight kiss was at and he actually did it, after that we just continued doing that ig I don’t think none of us thought much of it other than some night time ritual.

Here comes the actual AITA part, I recently got a girlfriend(we’ll call her Pepper). I’ts not like I’m super in love with her but she’s a nice girl and I genuinely like her so I wish to keep her happy.

The issue with Pepper is that she talks a tad bit too much, I normally wouldn’t mind it as I’m on the quiet part, but she expects me to memorize everything she has told me(not in the “do you remember my friend” type of way in the she tells me about 10 different people and gets upset when I don’t remember their exes names or what did friend7 did on lunch a month ago type of way) she also has a tendency to hyperfixate on shows and talk about the plot & characters as if they’re actual real people which makes it hard for me to understand if something she says is about a show or real. She gets really upset if I forget even the smallest things about those stories and rants about how I never listen to her. I tried talking to her about this but it only ends with her crying so I just keep shut to keep her satisfied

A week ago I was having a really bad day of migraines and nothing seemed to help but me and Pepper had made plans to hang in my place and I didn’t want to cancel. She comes over and starts talking about her sister in life’s brunch. I ask her if she could slow down a bit cause my head hurts and I can’t really keep up.

Well she takes it the wrong way and starts yelling at me about how I always am like this and how I never listen to her. I admit I’m the asshole for saying this, but I ask her if she’s unable to sit down and have a conversation like an adult. This makes her calm down a bit and she sits down so we can discuss.

I try explaining to her how it’s unfair how she expects me to remember everything and I’d be more than happy to listen to her, maybe just slow down a bit?

In mid of it she has this weird smile on her face and tells me I look hot mad, she then leans over to kiss me which I pull away from because it feels like she’s just trying to change a topic and I think this is an important convo for our relationship.

This is the moment Salt decides to arrive at home(I should also mention he’s TERRIBLE at reading the room) he comes over gives me my goodnight kiss and leaves.

(I would like to add its not like we make out or something. He just gives me a peck on the lips, says goodnight and leaves)

This drives Pepper crazy. She starts shouting at me on how I’d not kiss her but him? And that I could go ride his dick if I’m that gay for him. She storms out of the apartment

I’d like to add that Pepper has never said anything about me and Salt. I never told her about the goodnight kiss(Because I mean who goes to their girlfriend like “hey btw I kiss my roommate at nights. but no homo”?) but we never hide it either in fact I’m pretty sure we did that while she was in room once or twice too. Pepper has made jokes about us being gay and how she feels bad about getting inbetween us but never anything on being uncomfortable or not liking it.

Now it’s been a week and we haven’t talked since. She is not answering my messages and I stopped trying to contact her from there but I’m starting to doubt myself, am I the asshole here? Should I go apologize?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[igotanidea]

The L word: Jason Todd x fem!reader

Summary: How the hell did these two end up together? They constantly tease and spite each other.... Well, Jason and Y/N had their banter on at all times, but there were something more behind the surface.

A/N: I caught a cold so this might suck. And I am a sucker for WFA Jason so bear with me......

5 years ago.

Y/N Y/L/N was a part of batfamily since she could remember. Never really adopted, just taken in due to her skills and urge to do something good. Unlike many of the kids Bruce decided to put under his wings, she was more of a teenager when he first offered her his protection and care. Which meant that when she first arrived at the Manor there were like 10 people inside, all eyes on her and it made her feel a bit uncomfortable.

“Hey little one. You must be Y/N. I’m Dick. The oldest brother. So nice to meet you.” the black-haired boy almost crushed her in a tight grip.

“I… um.. hi. I’m not really a hugger, but…..”

“You’ll get used to it. Believe me, you will never have a single alone moment here.” The boy just smiled before letting her go. “Let me introduce you to the others.”

“I am fairly sure we can introduce ourselves.”

“Right. Cause you are the first one to do this.” Dick smirked and rolled his eyes “Y/N, meet my little unruly brother Jason. He’s the black sheep in the family.”

“Looks like he’s proud of this title.” Y/N tilted her head slightly “but from what I heard you prefer color red than black, don’t you?”

“You cracked me. Good for you. At least you know who to look out for.”

“Can’t wait for you to show me if you live up to your name, red.” She smirked and Jason’s eyes glistened a bit.

“All right. That is not disturbing at all” Dick rubbed his forehead “Let’s move on. Where is Tim?”

“Batcave. The entire team is there. Something about debriefing, I guess.” Jason muttered

“And why aren’t you there?”

“Hm. I don’t know. Partially because I don’t give a …..”

“JASON!”

“….and partially because I’m busy.”

“With what exactly?”

“Honestly? Everything else.” He shrugged and resumed his reading.

“I’m so sorry about him, Y/N. Jason can be a little …. Intense.” Dick turned towards the girl apologetically with a bit of embarrassment on his face.

“I can tell.” She smirked watching the other boy carefully. There was something about his attitude and sarcasm that captured her attention.

*** 

The second she came inside she got Jason’s attention. She was different than any other batkid. She wasn’t like  Dick and Steph with all their joy and sunshine and rainbows, and yet she had this quiet optimism inside. She wasn’t like Tim with his workaholic tendencies and yet she always did so much, never talking about it. She was not like Cass and Damian with their assassin origins, and yet there was something about her that warned not to cross path with her. It was like Y/N Y/L/N was a perfect mix of every trait he liked (or rather was willing to slip) and hated about people. A walking contradiction. Oh, and her fluent irony and sarcasm….. She was the only one good enough with that to ever come close to him. And as much as he hated to admit it, he enjoyed their little bantering and spiteful conversations. Which were happening way to often for the comfort of the rest of the family.

“Jason Peter Todd.” She stood in the middle of the room, in front of the couch he was sitting on with her arms crossed over her chest.

“You found out my dirty secret I see.” He smirked, eyes fixed on her face

“Your middle name? Sure, I will never let you live through it.”

“Not sure how I’m gonna survive it.”

“You won’t. Trust me, you won’t. After all, it’s the same name as the one famous boy who never wanted to grow up. Maybe the same happened to you, judging by the way you act sometimes.”

“Really?” he stood up, towering over her, but she did not falter even in the slightest

“Yes.” her face expression was stone cold

“See how much I care.  Dick told you at the beginning I’m the black sheep of the family.”

“With that hair you are more like Cruella de Ville of the family.”

“Auch. Y/N. Are you aiming to be Elsa?”

“What? I don’t….”

“ Talking about the Disney villains? You are Elsa from Frozen. So… damn… cold.”

“Elsa was not a villain, you idiot! And besides, since when are you so familiar with Disney movies?”

“Dark times in my life…..”

“Cut the crap. Where the hell is my gear? I know you took it.”

“I did not. I mean, I didn’t literally take it.”

“What did you do, Jason?”

He hung on the rooftop like a flag.

***

2 years ago.

“Are you trying to replace me?” he was leaning on the doorframe watching y/n punch and kick the opponents in a simulation fight.

“I’ve been trying to do that for the last three years. Not much of a success, though.”

“Hm. Maybe it’s time to give up?”

“Nah. Not really my style. I will take you down Todd. Eventually.”

“Sure. You keep telling yourself that.”

“Why are you here, again, Jason? Wanted to have a look at my ass during the training?” she smirked turning around. “Be my guest.”

“Honey. Why do you think we got mirrors in the training room? I got the view onto my ass, that’s all I need.”

“UGH! That is gross!” she flinched

“You asked for it.” He shrugged

“What do you want Todd? I’m busy.”

“No. Angry is what you are. And I don’t like it. I’m the angsty one in this household.”

“You don’t like being dethroned, do you?”

“Y/N.”

“What?!” she turned around so fast that only due to his instincts he avoided being punched right in the face.

“Let’s get some of this energy out.”

“Jason Peter Todd.” She stopped and grabbed her heart “Are you asking me to spar with you?”

“I know, I know. It’s an honor for you. but what can I say, I am feeling generous today.”

“Bring it on, Red.”

***

1 year ago

“How the hell did these two even got together? I mean I get why Jason fell for her, but the other way round?” Tim scratched his head in confusion watching Jason and Y/N tease each other mercilessly on the other side of the table during the family dinner. No one in the universe would guess these two were a couple.

“They are both crazy that is how.” Damian muttered chewing on his veggies.

“I think they are sweet.” Steph grinned and immediately met with two pairs of surprised  eyes “what?! They get each other.” She added innocently taking a sip of her drink

“That is ever more concerning….” Tim muttered

On the other side of the table

“You sure you can eat that, Todd? I heard your gear is getting tight in some areas.” Y/N teased him without caring about anyone else being forced to hear it.

“Care to specify what areas you have in mind Y/L/N? Any of them you like more than others?”

“Surely not your head, you pinhead. That helmet will fall off if you don’t adjust it soon.”

“Hm. Speaking about the gear. Some little bird told me you are making changes to yours? Something about the shortage of material?”

“ It’s been a while since I modernized. If Dick could have had his Discowing, maybe I can try something new as well….”

“Care to share any of your ideas?”

“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”

“Y/N.”

“Hm, you know, looking at you right now I call back everything I said. You don’t need a helmet at all, your face is already red enough.”

“I hate you.”

“I know. And I don’t care.”

“I’ll take my revenge on you. “

“Is that a promise?”

“COULD YOU TWO JUST STOP IT!?”

“Look what you did, Y/n. You angered the Batman. Now you will have to apologize.”

“How about I kick your ass and humiliate you publicly as a form of compensation?”

***

Now.

“Stop hiding there, you creep. I can see you.”

“ Todd.” The youngest Wayne took a few step forward observing the scene in front of him. Y/N was curled up into Jason’s side, half-asleep, breathing slowly, while one of his arms was wrapped around her, pulling her in softly, the other holding the book he was reading to her out loud.

“What the hell do you want?”

“I…. I wanted to ask you something…..”

“Ask?” he raised an eyebrow and shifted his position slightly not to wake the girl up and still face his brother.  “Since when are you asking?”

“Shut up!” he hissed and Y/N squirmed

“No, you shut up, demon. I swear if you wake her, I will make sure you never get any sleep in your life ever again.” Jason growled. Much to his surprise, Damian just looked down a bit saddened “Hey, are you losing your mind more than usual under that dome?”

“I’m thinking. “

“Well that is new.” Jason rolled his eyes.

“I am not good with all this relationship stuff. And I wanted to know….”

“And you came to me to ask?”

“Well in case you did not notice, you are the only one in the family with the girl next to you!” Damian hissed. “Even Grayson failed in that area with his on and off romance.”

“Fair point” Jason smiled and rubbed Y/N’s side affectionately causing her to lean into his touch and humm quietly.

“How?”

“What?”

“How did you do it? You are harsh. You tease her constantly to the point where it becomes mean.  You are full of emotions and yet are emotionally unavailable. You tend to be impulsive and act before you think. And you…. you are not really prince charming, Todd.

"Careful with the words there...." Jason warned

"All I'm saying, and we both know that, is that you are not exactly a boyfriend material. So … how?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. Guess I was just myself? Never pretending? Maybe that is why? Because she knew all of me from the beggining? But I don’t know. It's like she sees something more to me” he sighed deeply “there were multiple times when I thought I don’t deserve her, but….”

“What?” Damian was just standing in the room, his face half hidden in the shadows. Even that little menace knew better than to ruin the moment of Jason's honestly and vulnerability.

“I don’t know.” Jason sighed deeply consumed by the thoughts. Just like he said, there have been hundredths and hundredths moments were that little question creeped in his mind. Why? Why did she want him? Of course, he was the best in this family of vigilantes, the most handsome and surely the most skillful, but still… she was just too good for him. And yet, despite his anger, his past, his everything she just accepted him constantly choosing to give him attention (or harassment at times), time and her best (and worse) self.  Hell, she adjusted to him, and without even realizing it, he did the same. He adjusted to her. Like two puzzle pieces in a two-piece jigsaw. He felt that every time she was next to him, in his arms and every time he kissed her, but also every time she laughed at him, because he did something stupid and every time she kicked his ass during training and definitely every time she iced him because he went too far in his action, and when he realized how much her presence changed his behavior and how much he wanted and needed her.  

“Todd?” Damian almost whispered throwing Jason out of his reverie.

“What?”

“Do you …. love her?”

“Love?” Jason repeated this word, letting it roll of his tongue, his eyes drifting to her beautiful, sleeping face and he smiled like never before, sudden realization dawning on him.  “Yeah. Yeah, I do. I love her.” He closed his eyes enjoying the warmth spreading in his chest going up to his cheeks. He never thought about it before neither did he say it “I love her.” He repeated. It sounded nice and right. “And if you ever tell anyone about what just happened, I will….”

“I won’t Todd. Just this one time I’ll keep your secret of your soft side safe. ”

Two brothers looked at each other in the silent agreement. None of them would ever say that but thanks to this little exchange of words a lot of things made sense for both of them. Damian sighed, Jason nodded and the younger one left without saying anything more.

***

Raindrops on the windowsill woke her up. Jason was already awake, lying on his side of the bed, reading a book from the previous night, now keeping his distance from her.

"You're reading our book without me?" she tilted her head, eyeing him carefully.

"Not my fault you fell asleep in the middle of the chapter. Did you think I'll be able to resist continuing?"

“I guess not....." she muttered, her gaze turning a bit sad and it made his heart skip a bit. Did he hurt her?

"Y/N. I didn't mean to...."

"Of course you did. You always do. And I'm gonna explain it to you why I don;t give a damn about it ......” the girl trailed propping herself on the elbow and he immediately looked at her, only slighly surprised. They have been together for a while, but what if she didn't feel the same why about him? What if she didn't L him?

“Do you have anything smart to say, Y/L/N?” he teased rolling his eyes.

“You love me, Jason Todd?” she raised an eyebrow and he turned slightly red. Oh, shit.

“I guess you really are a light sleeper, huh?” that little embarassed tinge in his voice which he tried to cover desperatly did not pass her.

“Um, hello? Did you forget who raised us? Apparently alerted sleep comes in handy. Sometimes.” she moved a bit closer to him smirking.  “Jason.” her voice turned a bit more serious. “I need you to be honest with me. Can you handle it?”

“Not sure. Depends on what are you going to say next.” shit, he was shaking in anticipation for her words to come, becoming so freaking nervous.

“Was what you said true? Do you…. do you….?”

“Yes.” There weren’t any sign of hesitation in his voice. However, the harder part was saying the L word to her. How the fuck was it possible that he used it for the first time while speaking to Damian and not her!?

“Well…. Me too.”

“You too what?” he teased grabbing her chin forcing her to look at him and slowly leaning in.

“I too wanna hit your face.”

“Define “hit.” he leaned even closer. “the meaning of the word can vary under given circumstances. Like what do you wanna hit me with?”

“ I’ll let you figure it out by yourself.”

“I can handle that.” He whispered, brushing his lips over hers, so freaking close her breath hitched involuntarily.

“Come on you two lovebirds! Breakfast is on the table! Get up!” Dick busted through the door, making them jump away from one another at once, grinned playfully and disappeared again.

“I’m gonna kill him.” Jason groaned falling back onto the cushions, facing the ceiling and hiding his flushed face in his hands.

“I call dibs on that!” she laughed, quickly getting out of bed.

“You promise?” he grabbed her hand before she left the room, spinning her around to face him.

“Guess you will have to wait and see. Now come on, Alfred will kill us if we’re late for breakfast.” she raised on her toes, pressed her lips against his briefly and rushed off the room. "Last one at the table's a sucker!!"" she yelled loud enough for everyone to hear, causing all the sibilings to run from their rooms to avoid loosing.

Well, all the siblings, except Jay. Poor (or not) boy, was left alone, unable to move a single muscle, wondering why her kiss tasted differently this time.

Maybe it was because he did love her.

@pinksirensong

#jason todd fanfiction #jason todd angst #jason todd imagine #jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x oc #jason todd x you #jason todd x y/n #red hood fanfiction #red hood imagine #red hood angst #red hood x reader #red hood x fem!reader #red hood #red hood x y/n #batboys x reader #angst #dc angst #jason todd fluff #red hood fluff #fluff #dc fluff #batfamily #batfamily x reader

[babyhedonistt]

Too Close To Touch // SIX

warning: violence, swearing

Bad Omens : Concrete forever , Show 19 / 20

It’s not like you wanted to wait this long to lose your virginity. You just never got around to it. And as far as you were concerned, first and last person you were ever with, just so happened to be Noah Sebastian, who broke your plump little 20 year old heart 3 years ago. Somehow, the universe keeps pushing you two back together. Your brother doesn’t even know the half of what went on between you two. You don’t want him to know. You shudder at the thought of Folio finding out that Noah took—

You shake your head at the thought. Red crept across your cheeks as you place your palms on your warm face to calm yourself down. Noah and your brother have been friends for as long as you could remember, but if Folio were to have found out that Noah did that with you…… he would want his head on a stick.

“Y/N.” Ruffilo snaps his fingers, and you snap out of your head. “Huh?” Your drumsticks almost roll out of your lap as Ruffilo was waving his hand at you while you were zoning out. “ I was asking if you wanted to come to the meet and greet with us.” His eyebrows crease, slightly concerned.

“I don’t see why I would. No one knows me as more than a substitute. Why can’t Folio go to the meet and greet? He’s not crippled.”

Ruffilo snorts. “He is coming. Noah just thought it would make sense if you were there too.”

You could physically see the confusion spread across your face when Ruffilo said this. He noticed it and shrugged. “Guess he had a change of heart. C’mon, it starts in 10.” He ushers his head to the door. You nodded and set the drum sticks on the table before pushing off your knees to stand up.

--

The meet and greet was chaotic. The boys were trying to get as many fans along as possible and you felt so out of place. You stood on the end, collecting dirty looks from every girl who stood in line. The minute they all took their photos, they gave inquiring looks as to why you were even there. You were used to being overlooked, you just don’t know why Noah even wanted you there.

The meet and greet paused for a brief intermission while everyone dispersed to the backstage area. Jolly and Folio getting a sip of water while Ruffilo was talking with Matt about the setup of the concert. You rubbed your eye, pulling out your pack of cigarettes from your pants pocket, heading towards the back door for a smoke break. The door to the outside opens outward which scares you nearly half to death as Noah stands in the doorway before grabbing your wrist, pulling you outside.

“Jesus CHRIST Noah.” You clutch your chest as his large hands rested on your hips, pulling the cigarette box fom your hand. “Now what were you planning on doing with these?” He asks, a grin pulling at his lips. “I’ve been trying to quit.” You lied. “Why aren’t you with the rest of the boys, out here?” You asked, trying to pull the box back from his hand but he holds behind his back.

“Needed a break from the goo goo eyes for a minute.” He chuckles. “Can you blame them?” You ask, sighing deeply. He merely shrugs before pulling you into a deep kiss. You let him take you for a minute before you put a hand on his chest, slightly pushing him back. “Noah, we’re going to get caught.” You explain, concern in your voice as you look around. “No we won’t. The others don’t even know about this area because they all quit smoking.” He chuckles. “Why did you add me to the meet and greet? The fans acted like I was the plague.

“Because, you’ve been helping this band, I’m sure at least a few fans would want to meet the drummer. Especially because you’re related to Folio.” He explains. Well he guessed wrong.

“I’m surprised they don’t want to burn me at the stake.” You shrug, looking at your feet. You could feel the confusion radiating from Noah. “I mean, it’s not like we kept our relationship private when we were together before, keeping it private now seems wrong.”

“3 years ago, our band wasn’t what it is now baby. I’m not ashamed of you. I’m just waiting for the right time.”

Anxiety filled your body as you took a deep breath. You couldn’t keep a secret from anyone and the fact that it felt like Noah was tying your hands, but that’s show biz wasn’t it?

“Hey.” He whispers, kissing your forehead gently before bringing his face to your level. His brown eyes were so captivating. You couldn’t look away from him. “Trust me. Okay?” He cups your cheek before kissing your lips gently, eerily gently, almost thinking if he were to kiss you any harder, you would disappear. The door shoved open behind the two of you which scared you both. Noah had slightly bitten your lower lip so you made a noise as he pulled away from you. You turned around and see Ruffilo standing in the door way, a look of surprise plastered on his face. You looked at Noah before looking back at Ruffilo. You felt warmth of embarrassment flush over your face before your fight or flight kicked in and you shoved past Ruffilo, back inside.

**Noah’s POV**

The minute Ruffilo opened that door, the entirety of my fucks flew right out my head. Did I want him to catch Y/N and I in the back alley? No. But was I upset that he did? No. It was going to get out eventually. Ruffilo doesn’t say anything before he steps outside, closes the door with a loud slam and shoves me square in the chest. I stumble back with a grunt before I catch myself from falling flat on my ass. “What the fuck, Nick?” I groaned, placing my hand on my chest, rubbing it softly. “I knew you were an idiot Sebastian, but I never took you as a fool.” He pointed at me. “Why the hell are you macking on Folio’s sister? Huh?”

I rolled my eyes. “Her name is Y/N.”

“Don’t bullshit me. We’re almost done with our tour and you pull a stunt like this? I always knew you had feelings for her but I never thought you’d be stupid enough to act on them.”

Punch. I punched my best friend square in the jaw. The minute I did it I regretted it because he retaliated by shoving me and he started swinging. I’m not sure if it was the testosterone that got the best of me, or the feelings I had pushed down about Y/N for so long, but they finally reached the tipping point. Nick kept swinging at my face and I tried to hold his wrists when my voice of reason came back to my conscience, but he wouldn’t stop.

My lip split and I felt bruising starting to form around my eye, until I heard the door open. “Nick!” Matt rushes out of the building, followed by Jolly and Folio. Jolly and Matt try to pull Nick off of me. With a bit of a struggle, they were successful. Jolly helped me up and Matt was furious. “Just what the FUCK do you think you’re doing Ruffilo?” Matt yells, holding Nick by his chest until he had calmed down. Y/N peeked her face out of the door, trying not to be part of the fight. She genuinely looked crushed and frightened. Nick had never blown up like this before, let alone on his best friend. The minute her eyes landed on me and my fresh injuries she looked like she was going to cry.

“Nick, what the hell?” Folio asks. Nick chuckles, astonished as he shook his head. “You all are so oblivious. Noah’ s been fucking Y/N under all of our noses while our band is supposed to be nearing it’s peak.” The area filled with silence. “That’s not true Nick.” I tried to defend Y/N, only to earn an eye roll form him. “Please. I come out here to see you shoving your tongue down her throat. What, are you black mailing her to play for us? I wouldn’t put I by you, Noah.”

** END OF NOAH’S POV**

With that comment, you could tell something set Noah off because he tried to get out of Jolly’s grasp. You could see the flames light in his eyes as he approached Nick and grabbed him by the collar, shoving Matt aside briefly. “You ever say some shit like that about her, I don’t care if you are my best friend, I swear to God I’ll kill you.”

“Noah.” Matt snaps as Noah lets Nick go, and doesn’t even bother to go back inside past you. He walks in the other direction, into the parking lot, and he doesn’t look back.

“Noah, get your ass back here right now, we have a show to do! You can’t leave!  Matt exclaims. Jolly starts slowly jogging after him before you lock eyes with your brother. You couldn’t read his face but you could see an exhale exit his chest before he walks towards you. “Come with me.” Folio whispers grabbing your wrist gently.

One thing about your brother, is that when he was quiet after something of this sort happens, shit was about to hit the fan.  

Thanks for the support babies <3 love you and your thoughts always

#bad omens #bad omens fanfiction #jolly karlsson #nick folio #noah sebastian #nick ruffilo #concert #badomenscult #@darkmxgician #@flowery-mess

[nevermindirah]

Who talks to who, for how long and about what, in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince Bythewood?

I got curious and so I watched the movie taking a lot of timestamp notes. way back three and a half years ago now, I watched this movie for the first time bc I like gritty action movies, and it's a really good one of those. I'm still obsessed with it all this time later because it's full to the brim with well-drawn characters who have compelling relationships with each other, and boy howdy does the data show it.

I was especially curious about who spends how much time alone together on screen, so I coded all the scenes with that in mind, and I found some really interesting patterns in the breakdown of scenes where just two characters talk, where one character is the sole focus, and when three characters talk.

the winners of course are Nile and Andy, our dual protagonists, who spend 10% of the movie's total runtime alone together. they also spend a lot of time with our dual friendly antagonists, Booker and Copley. scenes featuring combinations of just these four characters make up 40% of the total runtime.

Joe and Nicky show up less in this analysis because they're side characters who mostly appear in group scenes, but wow are they richly drawn side characters. they're key players in all but two scenes where four or more named characters talk.

read on for many numbers and much analysis of what it all means!

Andy Nile 0:12:20 Nile Booker 0:06:00 Andy Booker Copley 0:05:22 Andy Booker 0:05:01 Andy Nile Booker 0:04:56 Nile Copley 0:04:18 Nile alone 0:04:07 Andy alone 0:03:31

Andy Celeste 0:02:49 Merrick Copley 0:02:41 Joe Nicky 0:02:24 Nile Dizzy Jay 0:01:33 Andy Quynh 0:01:31 Andy Nile Merrick 0:00:52 Booker alone 0:00:32 Copley alone 0:00:28 Nicky Kozak 0:00:27 Booker Quynh 0:00:21 Copley Keane 0:00:09

(the spreadsheet, if anyone's interested in digging deeper with me)

of the 12 min that our main characters are alone together on screen, almost fully half is super duper antagonistic:

4:26 is the kidnapping sequence

1:29 is their conversation outside after Nile's nightmare featuring the iconic "me and those three men in there will keep you safe" "like Quynh?"

and 7 seconds is Nile glaring daggers at Andy after walking over all those bodies in the church

the other half breaks down like this:

2:14 is them connecting over their mortal families — where Andy makes Nile give her phone back at the end

1:45 is Nile telling Andy she's not doing this, that she's going back to her family — Andy pushes with "we'd do the same for you" but then relents and gives Nile the car

50 seconds of them gearing up for the last segment of the fight — Nile tries to get Andy to wear a bulletproof vest, she jokes around with "is this gonna be like the last signal?" — it's operations-focused but there's a real warmth between them by this point in the movie (this scene starts at 1:41:45, just 13 min before the credits roll)

and 1:29 of Andy looking at Nile like she hung the moon (which, extremely valid and relatable!) and Nile saying that the time Andy's got left "you're gonna spend it with us"

Nile has an uninterrupted 4:18 sequence with Copley that speed runs the same general shape of her arc with Andy, hella antagonistic to teamwork, though the latter here is more of a professional camaraderie than the real warmth we see Nile develop for Andy.

in this context Nile's arc with Booker is remarkably different. their first scene alone together is 1:11 in total, intercut with Andy killing mercs elsewhere in the church, and it's sort of their only scene with friction between them. Booker keeps telling Nile to wait for the signal without explaining what that means, annoyingly continuing Andy's grand tradition of not fucking answering Nile's reasonable questions, ugh. though another way of framing this is of course that he's too busy packing her a change of clothes while showing off his tits for her. as I noted in a previous meta, the end of this sequence is the one time Booker lies to Nile (claiming he doesn't know who the mercs are when he has at least a basic idea, though we don't know for sure whether Copley involved him in this specific plan).

after this Nile and Booker have two more scenes alone together and they're both extended conversations: 3:14 for their conversation alone in the cave after Andy leaves, and 1:18 when Nile joins Booker on the balcony outside the bar. both of these conversations are remarkably intimate for how little these characters have interacted beforehand. remember, 6:02 total of Nile and Andy alone together with heavy animosity (Andy shot Nile in the head ffs!) before things between them started to warm up. granted, the conversation where they first start to warm to each other is right after Nile's cave scene with Booker and Andy's scene with Celeste, so an argument could be made that this was the point in the movie where Nile started to feel ready to open up to the other immortals generally and her first one-on-one conversation once she got there was with Booker before Andy. I'm not saying you have to ship them just because they get so close so quick, but the numbers sure do make it clear that us BoNers aren't making this shit up out of nowhere.

Nile and Booker's heart-to-heart in the mine is the third-longest one-on-one conversation in the whole movie — third after Andy kidnapping Nile and Nile's sequence with Copley, which are both heavy on action and exposition and antagonism, making this the longest intimate conversation in the movie. their other heart-to-heart, 1:18 on the balcony outside the pub, is on par with Joe and Nicky's 1:17 in the van.

there's also a 51 sec sequence during the Merrick tower fight where it intercuts pretty much equally between three subsets of the action: Andy going off on her own with an axe, Joe waiting for Nicky to wake up after that head shot, and Nile and Booker being drift compatible when Nile's gun jams. we're not making this shit up out of nowhere.

ok back to our blorbos in chief. we get 4:07 of Nile as the sole focus, and 3:31 of the same for Andy.

the sequence of Nile going through hell on base just because she fucking lived (laser eyes @ her squad forever) lasts 1:14 and includes a few lines from minor characters. we get 15 sec of her first dreaming of the others and waking up unmoored, then a 20 sec reprise with her nightmare of the first person she killed. the sequence of her driving away from Copley's then figuring out what the empty gun clip means is 48 sec. and then, one of the things that stood out to me the most in really digging into these numbers: just how frequently and for how long the camera lingers on Nile's face in this movie.

extended closeups of Nile with no dialogue and no montage:

10 seconds staring at the car she crushed, killing Merrick in the process but somehow not herself

36 seconds in the elevator

and a whopping 44 seconds of listening to Frank Ocean

that's fully 1 minute and thirty seconds of this movie's 2 hr 5 min credits-included runtime devoted exclusively to long takes of Nile Freeman's face.

Andy's sole-focus time is a little less tidy, because the majority of it isn't precisely focused on her like with Nile. we get 15 sec of her staring at her hand, realizing her immortality is gone. I could have coded all the pieces of the movie more granularly to find all the moments where we get Andy reaction shots, but I also could've done that with all of them and I'm but one humble spreadsheet lover, and it's more interesting to me that Gina primarily uses other kinds of film language to put us into Andy's perspective.

1:35 of her cutting through all those mercs in the church — other people are active in this scene, but they're not shown as people, and the horror of that is exactly the point, for the viewer, for Nile, and for Andy herself

41 sec of her voiceover at the opening of the movie, over clips of the kill floor scene

1 min of her moodily sitting in the car after the pharmacy and flashing back to Lykon's death

the Andy/Quynh flashback sequence that's a subset of Nicky and Joe narrating to Nile is 1:31, so counting that alongside this flashback here brings us to a total of 2:31 of Andy/Quynh(/Lykon) alone together screen time. almost precisely equal to Joe and Nicky's total 2:24 alone together.

further underlining Booker and Copley as our tritagonists, we get one scene of on-screen alone time for each of them: 32 seconds of Booker being drunk six months later and 28 seconds of Copley reacting to the kill floor footage. it's easy to focus on the Andy in a Union uniform element of this Copley scene, but a photo of his late wife is visible in almost every frame. I went back and double checked — only 3 sec of those 28 don't contain that photo of his wife displayed proudly between the kill floor footage and the Civil War photo, 3 sec of Copley in closeup. now that's what I call environmental storytelling.

we get almost exactly 5 min each with the sets Andy + Booker + Copley, Andy + Booker, and Andy + Nile + Booker. ABC and ANB conversations tend toward driving the plot and fleshing out detail about immortality, though a decent chunk of ANB in the "is this a Rodin?" part of the cave scene is Nile and Booker talking about following the money (their first moment of drift compatibility!) while Andy angsts nearby, and a decent chunk of ABC at Copley's place is Andy and Booker's heartbreaking "this is what you wanted" "not like this" exchange while Copley awkwardly hovers. just under half of Andy and Booker's 5:01 on screen alone together is about his betrayal, 2:13 across three scenes. the other half breaks out pretty evenly between them talking about Nile, making battle plans, and just being pals.

has any mid-budget gritty action movie ever done it better? even the infodumps are full of character and relationship details.

I also find it noteworthy that Booker and Copley are never alone together, and they never directly acknowledge anything about their relationship. we know from what they tell other characters that they've been in contact before the events of the movie, probably for some time in some detail. we know they worked together to ultimately enable the cartoon-villain antagonists to do their villainy. Copley is direct about how these results were absolutely not what he intended, and we can infer from Booker's behavior that he wasn't aiming for decades of medical torture either. but we get no information about how they feel about each other. now that I'm looking at it with this frame, it seems like the absence of information is itself a kind of telling — Booker and Copley maybe purposefully avoiding 1:1 contact, purposefully treating each other as mere acquaintances when others are around, because to do otherwise would be to look their guilt in the eye. oh shit I think I might have given myself a whole new meta idea on this tangent here: Copley and Booker as mirrors for each other.

disclaimer as we're nearing the end that there's inevitably going to be bias and error in something like this. I measured by seconds not milliseconds and I wasn't always precise about where I paused to note timestamps at scene changes. sometimes I included what ended up amounting to several seconds of establishing shots and sometimes I didn't. and there are a bunch of edge cases where there's more than one way to count who was an active part of which scenes, like for example:

I separated out Andy and Booker's opening motorcycle stalking and Don Quijote chat from the later part of what was probably just one scene in the script, where Booker talks to the hotel clerk while Andy interacts with tourists nearby

I included all as one Nile + Dizzy + Jay scene the sequence where Dizzy and Jay talk to each other about Nile before they go into the med tent and act shitty to her face about how Nile's still alive

I counted as Copley + Merrick the conversation in the car where Keane and Kozak are present and react on camera but don't have lines per se

similarly I counted as Andy + Booker the "she wants to talk to her family" exchange after Nile and Nicky leave the dinner table; Joe's still sitting there next to them but he doesn't say anything and the camera doesn't focus on him

I didn't try to delete the time where Andrei said/did stuff from the 4:26 Andy kidnaps Nile sequence but I did remove a Keane cut-away from a later Andy + Nile scene

so much has already been lovingly written about how well Joe and Nicky spend their short on-screen alone time and rightly so. I don't have anything new to add there so I'll take a moment instead to shout out to the 27 sec of Nicky telling Kozak to go fuck herself, and also the iconic Joe headbutting Merrick. fuck, this movie is so so good. every moment is a delight.

#the old guard #tog meta #tog #mine

[retnym]

WORLD TOUR- .10

"Of course, we want to fucking know."

“I’m so sorry about that by the way.” I apologized to the attractive masseuse. He smiled softly and shook his head as I was trying to hand him another tip. “It’s really no big deal.” He tells me. I was now dressed out of the robe. I went to the bus and changed into a white crop top with baggy basketball shorts. Nothing too extreme, just meant to be comfortable. “I insist. If you don’t take it, I’m just leaving it here.” 

He starts to grin, showing his teeth. “Fine, thank you, Miss [Last Name].” I slip the money into his hands before I make my leave. I started to feel a little guilty about the minor flirting I just did. I wouldn’t have pursued anything and you gotta give it to someone when they’re attractive as fuck. 

I also still have Springroll in my arms and she’s getting pretty antsy so I think it’s a good time to go to the hotel room. Checking my phone I see a text from Jace himself. Letting out a small sigh I quickly text back, stuffing my phone into my back pocket.

Walking into the room I gently toss Springroll from my arms onto my bed as the one next to mine has Bill and Johanna sitting there staring at me. 

“Yes..?” I raise an eyebrow looking at them before jumping onto the bed and laying on top of Bill. “Don’t ‘yes?’ us.” Johanna snaps at me and then lays on me causing me to giggle. “But seriously, what’s up with those looks?” It was like Bill and I never even got upset with each other. He instantly was holding me and I played with Jo’s hair. 

“So, Tom found her?” Bill speaks up causing my breath to hitch from the sound of his name which I already know they noticed. “Yup, he did.” It almost came out in a whisper, my voice cracked as it left my mouth. 

Thinking back to what happened my heart started pounding, Johanna glance up at me but I tried to ignore it. 

“We saw by the way.” She tells me and with that, my palms started sweating. “What do you mean?” I nervously laugh. “Well after you said to split up and I turned back to find you so I could apologize for pushing that conversation I started.”

“Jo ended up showing up so we searched for you together, found you and Tom sitting on the ground, and decided to watch what was happening. Juicy stuff if I might say.” He explained with a shit-eating grin laid upon his face. 

Know how I said my heart was beating super fast? Well, now it just dropped to my fucking ass-crack. 

They saw what happened.

I mean nothing really happened so there really isn’t anything to say…. Right?

WRONG!!!

“You guys were totally going to kiss.” Jo squeals but I quickly shush her. “No, we weren’t!” I deny it fairly fast. “Oh yeah, then what was that?” Bill interjects, cocking his head to the side. 

“He turned his head at the wrong time, you didn’t see it but he was whispering so I was caught off-guard and Springroll snapped me out of it because she’s so amazing.” I threw all the words together just praying it sounded okay once it was out in the air. You definitely could barely understand what I was saying or… well trying to say. 

“Plus I am dating Jace so forget this Tom stuff… please,” I muttered, playing with Johanna’s hair again. 

“Right… Jace.” They both say in unison, scoffing as well which was almost scary. “What’s that mean?” I question them defensively.

“Look as much as I love Jace, he is stopping you from a beautiful love story with my brother.” He points out before continuing. “We would be siblings-in-law I might add.” He puts his hands up. I just scrunch my face in disgust. 

“What even?” I laugh shaking my head. 

“You and Tom have tension baby. Always have.” Johanna jumps back into the conversation and I just roll my eyes. “Whatever happened years ago just ruined it and is making us wait longer for you two to just get together,” Bill exclaims.

“You really want to know?” I ask suddenly and they’re both confused not knowing what I am talking about but before they can even ask I speak up once more. “Know what happened almost three years ago.” I state, their mouths go into the shape of an ‘o’. 

“Of course, we want to fucking know,” Bill says. 

“Tom and I were secretly dating, kind of. He ended it in a shitty way.” I finally let it out of my mouth, it felt like my throat was hurting now, I stopped playing with Jo’s hair as she shot up, Bill pushing me off of him dramatically. 

“No fucking way!” Jo shouts. 

“And you didn’t fucking tell us!? Bill exasperates, his arms thrown up in the air and I flinch from the loudness of it all. I ended up covering Bill’s mouth since he kept going. 

“I thought everyone knew. No one ever spoke or questioned why we stopped talking! I thought he would’ve told his own twin brother!” I in all honesty say. Letting go of his mouth the room actually stayed silent. “Look,” I take a deep breath. “This is going to be kind of a long story.” I sadly say, playing with my fingers nervously.

“We got time, if you need to stop let us know.” Jo places a hand on my leg and another notification from my phone goes off. Most likely Jace so without checking it I turned the device off completely. 

Explaining everything to them, only tearing up once which they didn’t notice due to us laughing about something right after the tears jerked. 

It was good to finally explain it to them and know that they are on my side after years of feeling crazy about if I was being dramatic or not. After years of worrying, there was secretly tension between Bill and me for being so hateful to his brother. Or his brother hates me. 

“Nothing will ever happen again. Jace is my now. Tom is my past. He stays there.”  I tell them, even saying those words don’t feel right but that’s how it has to be. What happened in that hall should’ve never happened. 

What happened in that hall will never be close to happening again. 

Because one thing I know is that Tom Kaulitz will never fight for me. He’s clearly shown that.

It’s been two hours since I told Bill and Johanna and we're back to normal. All the boys ended up joining us in the room and we’re getting ready to watch movies together. We also decided it was a good idea to all be on one bed since it will be horror movies.

We’re just so smart. 

I still lay on top of Bill as Johanna lay on my side, Gustav was next to her, Tom lay on the end of the bed as Georg chose to be an outsider and lay on the other bed he had Springroll though. He also started up the movie. I rarely paid attention as I was on my phone texting Jace.

He was panicking about something to do with his mom. She’s currently in the hospital for a broken foot which is minor but she broke a neighbor's garden statue that was super expensive and they can’t pay for it. 

“Hey, I’ll be right back,” I whisper to Bill and Johanna. Trying to get up without disturbing them too much I jumped off the bed. Wincing to myself as I thought about if there were people below us. Going into the bathroom I called Jace. It took a few rings but he finally answers.

“Baby, why’d you call?” He asks me and I furrow my eyebrows together. “Well, you were kinda just texting me and freaking out?” I say more as a question as I am confused about why he would wonder that. “Right, I’m sorry. My mind is everywhere right now.” He laughs nervously and I notice it immediately. Why does he sound like he’s been running a mile? I get when I’m having a lot I kinda get out of breath but this sounds… different. “Okay, anyways. I could send you money. How much was the statue?” I change the subject back to what he texted me about. 

“No, no, I couldn’t ask you of that.” He says and I roll my eyes. “You’re not asking me, I’m giving it babe.” I correct him but as he goes to argue with me I cut him off. “How much was it, Jace?”

“2 grand.” He sighs.

“Oh, No biggie. I’ll send a check through the post office tomorrow.” I tell him. “Baby please, don’t do that.” He pleads but I just ignore it.

“You know I’m not going to listen.” I state the obvious. “I know but-” “What are you up to?” I ask him, sitting down on the counter. 

“Just talking to you and waiting for my mother to get out of the hospital.” I hum in response, also saying that I hope his mom is alright. I love his mom, she’s super nice. Maybe a little superficial but who isn’t? “What were you doing before you got on the phone, sounded like you were running.” I laughed but I kinda stopped after I heard that he wasn’t and was actually talking to someone in the background in a hushed tone. 

“Oh is that a family member?” I ask him. “Huh?” He gets back to the phone. “In your background, who are you talking to?” I asked again. 

“Oh I wasn’t talking, it’s the tv.” He chuckles but I just stay silent. I swear he was talking. Why would he talk to a tv? If he was talking to someone why would he lie? 

“Alright, well.” I clear my throat. “I have to go back to the band. We’re watching movies together.” I smile, I really did want to talk to him but now he’s acting weird. I might not send the money…

“Oh okay. Goodnight, love you.” He says in a sing-song tone.

“Love you too.” I end the call. Standing up from the counter I look at myself in the mirror. 

What the fuck is going on? Why am I questioning my own boyfriend like that?

He wouldn’t do that to me. He wouldn’t cheat on me.

I POSTED!!!! sorry guys I've been working my ass off this past week and today and tomorrow I have off so you best believe I'm writing some chapterssssss. I'm gonna make them juicy. As fuck!!!! Enjoy this short little thing for now. Also if you guys want those oneshots and shit you have to dm me ideas because I’m not making them if nobody has anything😭 only because I don’t have any ideas myself right now and it can be in other fandoms if I don’t know it I’ll let you know but I’ll right almost anything as long as it’s x reader I don’t do character x character I’m sorry🙏

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Hi!! this is a kinda random question, but I was just thinking about it. So we know that the Druskelle (and presumably most of Fjerda) are bigoted, racist, etc.. Does that stem from their culture and like the wars and stuff or is that part of their religion? I guess hypothetically could Matthias/Maya/your other Fjerdan ocs have corrected their prejudices and still believed in Djel or do the two beliefs contradict? Just wondering what your take is :)

Hi, thanks for the ask!

I absolutely adore religion in the Grishaverse and a while ago I wrote quite a long analysis on Matthias and Inej's relationship with their respective religions, mostly focusing on Djel since I feel I know more about Fjerdan religion than Ravkan having read the soc duology a lot more times than the other books, and I talked quite a bit about some of these things so I'll link that here in case anyone is interested and below I'll put a couple of quotes from that more specifically pertaining to what you've said here. Essentially, I believe that the Drüskelle order is a cult and represents a warped version of Fjerdan religion and that Matthias' journey of self-discovery and of learning to find the version of Djel that he believes in and that aligns with who he wants to be is one of the most beautifully written character arcs I have ever read.

Some quotes from my previous analysis:

"Theoretically, the Drüskelle are raised (forced) to believe the same basic principles of the religion that most of the religious people in the country are [...] However, what’s taken completely further is that the Drüskelle are told that the only way to be truly respected by their god is to take decisive action against Grisha people for their power, because it’s “demonic” and a warping of Djel’s gifts. Now first of all, none of the religious teachings we learn about as the reader even remotely suggest this, which suggest that it’s a baseless prejudice for which religion has been used as an excuse for so long that it’s become culturally ingrained and believed."

"Matthias even shows particular pride that he was personally told the secret of the second glass bridge by Jarl Brum himself"

"And this is the thing, ok, because by claiming that Djel will show the boys the path and then telling them himself (!!!!!!!!) Brum is claiming far more power than a servant of Djel and or Fjerda. No, now he turns himself into a messenger of Djel, a prophet if you will, just to reaaaalllly double down on that religious trauma he’s giving these kids. He is putting himself into the Messiah-like position; he’s saying that Djel sent him to them to tell them that they must kidnap and kill people to earn his love."

"in his own practice Matthias would appear to see Djel as a benevolent god"

"presented himself as a Messiah-like figure and effectively forced these young boys to believe that betraying him is akin to betraying Djel"

Okay I'm restraining myself from adding more to that list because I'm just sitting here reading through the original analysis going "ooo add that" "and that" "that too" and I'll just end up copy and pasting the whole thing if I carry on like this, so if you'd like to read more I should've linked it at the top :)

I'm gonna talk a bit about Djel and relationship with religion in terms of my Fjerdan OCs here, if anyone is interested but hasn't read the fic you don't have to have done to follow the religion info but it's worth knowing that it's set almost entirely in Ketterdam and takes place nearly 10 years after Crooked Kingdom :)

For my Fjerdan OCs religion is very much on my mind whenever I'm writing them, and I find it a very interesting thing to consider. So, I have three Fjerdan OCs in Daughter of the Rain and Snow: Maya, a Tidemaker and our titular character, Celina, a deceased (pre-events of the fic) otkazat'sya whose body was burned and who therefore cannot reach Djel, and Fiona, a Heartrender who lost her relationship with religion a long time ago and has no interest in taking it up again. I'm going to start with Fiona because I haven't really explored her relationship with Djel very much since she has had less scenes than the others thus far, but I tend to have quite fleshed out backstories for my side characters even if they don't make it into the story lol

Fiona is 22 during the events of the fic and has been working with Inej and the crew of the Wraith for almost four years. She made her way to Ketterdam at 17 after her family discovered she was Grisha and threw her out. In a desperate attempt to flee Fjerda - and notably not knowing any Kerch language - she signed an indenture contract with a Kerch merchant who offered her safe passage to the country. She did not know what she was signing, and her contract was written in Kerch, but she just wanted to get out of Fjerda as quickly as possible and this seemed like her only option. She was freed and ended up working with Inej when she was 18. Fiona had battled with her relationship with Djel for a long time after discovering she was Grisha and keeping it secret, but when her parents learnt the truth and started abusing her and eventually turned her out with nowhere to go and no protection to be found she adopted atheism completely, akin to the way Kaz and Wylan found their atheism. -

“Saints speed,” she said to Inej, who echoed the words she knew were said for her benefit alone.

Fiona had given up on Djel, the god she was raised with, and had no interest in taking up another. (Chapter 8) (I feel so weird quoting my own writing)

Religion is very much at the forefront of everything I write considering Maya and Celina, particularly since Celina only appears as a character in Maya's POV chapters (she exists more as a concept to Kaz, Inej, and Aimee, who connect her to things she represents to each of them but whom they never knew as a real person). Maya battling her relationship with Djel is very much in the forefront of the story and one of my favourite chapters is when she goes back to the tree she cut down in anger and prays for it; the chapter is essentially a long monologue of Maya talking to Djel and voicing every side of her argument out loud. I won't list everything here but I'll add this quote from the chapter:

“I’ve tried it every way,” she whispered, failing to fight the sobs that were growing in her throat, “I ignored it, I tried not to use it, I used it for others, I used it for myself, I used it for You. And I have somehow failed You every time. Maybe I deserve to burn now, but they say you are born Grisha. Did You really look at me and always know I would deserve to burn? From the very moment I was born? Perhaps this is all I am in Your grand tapestry of destiny; a game for You to play, a doll that You can take apart and stitch together at wrong angles. I am a broken toy that can be discarded and burnt whilst the world moves on as though I were never here. I made the wrong choices, but I thought they were the only ones left. You could have let me stay at home. You could have let her live - let both of them live. And I never would have done anything like this. I’m so sorry…” her voice broke and she felt the tears flooding over her cheeks as she collapsed over the ruined tree trunk and cried into its empty flesh, “I’m so sorry,” (Chapter 66 on tumblr, chapter 67 on AO3)

And the chapter ultimately ends with Maya asking Djel to teach her how to deserve forgiveness from Inej and the other characters for everything she'd done, or to at least teach her how to forgive Him.

I think one of the most important aspects of religion in terms of this and in terms of Maya and Celina's relationship with each other is that even though Celina knows Maya is a Tidemaker neither of them ever talk about it and Maya reached a point where she was actively afraid to bring it up because she didn't know how Celina felt about Grisha and she didn't want to jeopardise not only what is the only relationship she has with anyone right now but arguably what is the first relationship she's ever had that wouldn't be considered abusive (her relationship with her father is kinda up in the air, I know, but considering that he sold her I don't think it's a spoiler to say I hate that man's guts even though y'all have a little bit more to learn about him yet) since realistically Celina was the only person she had a real conversation with for three years and the only other people she spoke to in that time would be clients, Yennefer, and occasionally other girls at the Tulip Mill. Maya even saw Yennefer's death more as vengeance for Celina than she did for herself, saying that Yen's death was for Celina and Kaz's death would be for her before she finds out that Kaz was partially responsible for Celina's death in the worldview that she holds - and as Kaz considers himself no less responsible for her death than Rollins was for Jordie's. I don't know if I'm explaining it quite right but the fear that Maya developed surrounding other people's perspective on Grisha power preventing her from being able to share her feelings with Celina I found a really heart-wrenching detail to write and I was definitely hoping to present the idea that even if religiously the ideas don't contradict - considering that we see Celina adapt her belief in Djel to say that anything that she does at the Tulip Mill will be forgiven because she has no choice over it - culturally speaking it's still such a complex and difficult thing to move past that Maya isn't even sure she can ever express it to the only person she trusts, and I also hoped to touch on this idea with the flashbacks to the Ravkan boy at the Grisha workshop with Maya who didn't trust her because she was Fjerdan even though she was Grisha and had literally fled Drüskelle and her home country

Anyway I hope this made sense, it's starting to feel very rambly and random, and I hope that it was interesting to read. Thanks so much for teh ask and for your interest in the fic! <33

#maya olsen oc #six of crows #grishaverse #crooked kingdom #leigh bardugo #six of crows fic #six of crows duology #kanej fic #asks #grishaverse religion #djel #fjerda #druskelle #my ocs #matthias helvar #fantasy religion

[acequinz]

Oh fuck I am in love with him!- headcanons

Li Lianhua

With Di Feisheng there's always been an attraction that Li Lianhua held, like even when he was the leader of sigu sect, he had a lot of responsibilities and already soaring relationship so he never really gave that attraction any space and simply put it in the- respect- corner. Where it stayed until everything fell apart and they met again years later. And the final realisation was when they sat together in the wedding room talking about the fight 10 years ago, finally free from any dust clouding the true nature or their feelings for each other.

It isn't a hit or falling on the face moment but a gentle acceptance as Li Lianhua takes his attraction for dfs out of the respect corner and stores it away in his heart cause he knows it means love and he's happy about it.

With Fang Duobing he knows he finds him attractive at the start- 10/10 cute as fuck but silly enough that I would bang- then he panics a little more but like briefly- wait.... Him oh no, I ended up caring more than I wanted to but oh he's so cute maybe it will be fine, it's not like this will go anywhere- and then it keeps calming and calming and stays in his heart like it was always there as if there's no version of him that wouldn't absolutely adore Fang Duobing.

His feelings for fdb seem to be like a strong river merging with the ocean. They are where they are supposed to be and it calms him in a way he didn't knew love could. Of course he still worries and frets but then he looks at him and it feels okay. It feels good.

Di Feisheng

With Li Xiangyi he has always known but also never felt an urge to act on it, when they first met it was instant when he saw the way he moved with the sword, it was beautiful and strong. How was he to not fall for that? But he was satisfied with them sparring together or fighting a serious battle. Yet he had accepted the peace treaty because LXY was as eloquent and responsible as he was beautiful and strong which only made di feisheng appreciate him more. He knew lxy's heart belonged to another but he was fine with it as long as he could be lxy's rival.

His feelings for LXY relaxed him as much as it burned like passion within him. No one could ignite his passion the way lxy's existence did and that fact itself calmed his heart.

When it came to fang Duobing the acceptance of his feelings was just as smooth. At first he hadn't seen the appeal, sure fang Duobing was an attractive man and had talent but he couldn't really understand why llh cared for him the way he did. Until he did, in the kindness FDB showed for him, whether it was when he didn't know who he was or when he knew who he was. Sure the brat still teased and poked but at the end of the day his care was very visible and it made sense.

FDB grew on DFS just like he had grown on llh and since then there was no escape. Not that dfs really wanted to escape anyway.

Fang Duobing

Now here's a dramatic one. His immediate reaction to romantic feelings is panik!!!!!

When he falls for Li Lianhua, he doesn't even realise it until Dfs enters the picture because that's when his jealousy is at peak, but he still somehow manages to convince himself that it's because Li Lianhua said he was his best friend but now he was doing best friend stuff with dfs and it's not fair! It takes him seeing the way Li Lianhua looks at Qiao Wanmian with genuine affection that breaks his heart in a certain way despite his own jokes about setting them up together to understand that oooohhh it's romantic.

He wants Li Lianhua to look at him like that but he never catches the looks of genuine adoration thrown his way but he does catch them thrown at DFS and that hurts him even more but he perseveres.

With Di Feisheng it's almost easier. Realising that is. He looks at him and fights him and feels genuine appreciation for skills (when he's ignoring the close bond the other holds with llh). And also there's an itch, an itch to push and pull and be pushed and pulled that Di Feisheng seems more than happy to indulge in him, he knows when Di Feisheng is treating him like an unruly brat, been recieving that treatment from his mother and aunt for way too long and so he pushes more for Di Feisheng to look at him for the man he is and not the brat he thinks Fang Duobing is.

He knows he is attracted to Di Feisheng at least sexually because every time he calls out to the other and he materialises out of nowhere, very seamlessly barging into Fang Doubing's space and he starts looking forward to it, then when A-fei actually seems to soften at him, it's just ... Yeah I am in love with him too. FUCKK!!!!

#mysterious lotus casebook #fang duobing #di feisheng #li lianhua #difanghua

[bogos-bint3d]

Considering Yellow just came out, I'm curious how you interpret Justice!

YEAH IM FINALLY GONNA ANSWER THIS ASK FROM ALMOST TWO MONTHS AGO BECAUSE IM FEELING GOOD

Ok so I don't really know how to start so to get things going I'll begin with some pictures of them

I have to say, they give me SO many feelings. I originally started work on them long before I even knew what undertale yellow was. My first attempts at drawing them (which you can see in the top left that were used for reference) were done back in June, but I was planning things for them several months before.

I remember them actually being pretty much the very first fallen human who I felt motivated to make something with, because I saw a comic of someone's own interpretation of them. I noticed how in that comic, they went to Mount Ebott intentionally, for the other humans or something, and that was sort of the beginning of my inspiration, but I felt like I could do more with it. So, starting off with that I kinda built on it. I wanted to do something different from what I'd seen before, where they wanted to get justice on the monsters FOR hurting the humans. I remember someone saying something along the lines of them thinking justice was a little bitch, which of course was a valid interpretation, and that's what made me sorta go in a different direction.

For me, I saw justice as someone who would've wanted justice for the MONSTERS, from the very start. They were the kind of person who didn't really believe the legend of humans and monsters, but of course knew Mount Ebott was a very dangerous place. And, yknow, believed monsters were just a legend, they loved to think about the fact that if monsters WERE real, they were probably trapped unfairly. Think about Chara for example. Though they were human themself, they still hated humanity, and felt connected to the monsters. They wanted the monsters to be free and to go against the humans. I imagine justice to have been something like that. Not as much hatred for humans as Chara maybe, but still knowing of all the bad that humans had done, and, being an edgy teen, felt genius for the concept that this ""old """"silly"""" legend"" would probably have been biased in favour of the humans. (which they were actually right about. Good for them 👍🏾)

Am I explaining this correctly? I'm not sure if I am lol

So anyways, yes my justice interpretation very much did not want justice on the monsters once they discovered the legend was true, but rather was very much on the side of monsters getting justice on the humans.

Let's see, what else is there... Ah so as I was explaining before, seeing that comic also sparked the idea for me that they went there looking for someone. They'd usually never even get near to Ebott, however, they end up having to. Ok this part is like it's own separate infodump so like take a breath. So this all ties in to one of my other fallen soul interpretations, integrity. I won't get too into them right now because that is like a WHOLE OTHER CONVERSATION, so for now I am going with the BARE ESSENTIALS. Justice went there specifically to go look for integrity, because in my little interpretation thing, they're siblings. I'll show some quick things about them then straight back to Justice I prommy

Their name is Leo (I don't have a name for justice yet I'm so sorry Leo is like the only human I've named so far), and ended up on Ebott after a stupid dare by the rest of their ballet class. So anyways after justice finds Leo is like. No where at all. They have to go on over to Leo's dance class cause that's the last place they'd been and ask around the other kids to find out where their 10 year old sibling was because they'd been FUCKING MISSING FOR LIKE SEVERAL HOURS only to find out the other kids left them on MOUNT FUCKING EBOTT, where multiple other children have all DISAPPEARED upon going there. So now justice gotta go to death mountain to find their lost sibling no big deal

I feel much more nervous about talking about my fallen soul interpretations now than I would've, like, four months ago, simply because the presence of uty has had such a grip on the fandom that people have kind of accepted it as canon. I think it's actually a really stupid and petty thing to mad/sad about, because a lot of effort was out into it, and I'm sure it's very very good, but I just, well I guess we all just whish we were the best, right? I'm scared yellow will completely overshadow any other existing interpretations, and people love it so much, they won't care about my own. I REALLY hate myself for this, and I just want to say I think you should all keep loving yellow! It seems really good! This is just my own dumb fear shining through haha

But anyways, enough of that! I'll explain more about the souls another time because if I keep going on right now I might become physically incomprehensible. There is so much more about justice that I'll dump on you all another time, trust me, I just hope you all like what I've got so far ❤️ thanks :)

#ITS INFODUMPING TIME #asks #you dont even KNOW how long i have been wanting to talk about them #they are EVERYTHING to me #EVERYTHING #IT FEELS SO GOOD TO FINALLY GET ALL THIS OUT #i hope you all love them as much as i do #i have been waiting for like a YEAR to tell people their story i am so happy about this #ive just not even had the motion to until this VERY moment so i dropped EVERYTHING to come and write this and have not taken a single break #-since i started writing #undertale #utdr #ut/dr #bogos i binted #integrity soul #justice soul #yellow soul #undertale yellow soul #undertale justice #undertale fallen humans #fallen humans #undertale human souls #i can finally rest #me being a little bitch about everything #<i hope it doesn't come off that way but i kinda just use this tag when i say like slightly negative things about anything because im not- #-sure if what im saying is mean so i ise that tag as a way to say #''if this is mean i am so so so so so so sorry''

[greenplumbboblover]

Happy almost new year!

Yesterday I posted that whole "Top 10 Tumblr posts" but while that was fun to see, I figured I'd go through things I felt was a great accomplishment of this year for me. And some new years resolutions ;)

Accomplishments of 2023:

I made a website!

I know it's tiny and that it's not really great (yet) for getting tons of views, but I do want to thank everyone (I actually typed out all the names but tumblr was being stupid and I couldn't post the post then :/) for either giving it a try or using it. Without you, it would've just been a floating idea with no purpose. :) Thank you so much for believing in it!

I created a new sims story!

Gone a bit back to my original Simblr roots and made a story! Chapter 1 had been in my screenshots folder for over 2 years now, but I was just self-conscious about sharing it. I'm glad I actually got to terms that the only way to know if people will like it, is by sharing it. :)

Came back to Tumblr fully again.

Over those 2 years I hadn't really been on Tumblr much. I'd post my mod posts and that was it. Truth be told, I didn't really have much motivation to do TS3 stuff anymore at that time. But I think in the end I forgot how fun it can be :) I know I suck at interacting with people, though my anxiety often gets the best of me, and I'm genuinely sorry about that! I'm hoping to change that next year with some help.

New Year's resolutions:

I know most people probably didn't get through the whole thing because I type a lot, but if you do, hey there :)

Making Simblr.cc feel more personalized

I feel like currently it feels very download-oriented, which I'd like to keep! But that vibe also seems to be around with the more picture - oriented things. So I just want to make part of that feel more Tumblr-ish where it's just your personalized space. :)

Starting to sell stickers (and such)!

I know, kind of clique thing that everyone seems to be doing now and then, but I have seriously been loving to draw a lot. Though, my creative outlet only seems motivated when I do something for someone/something. So I was hoping to not just sell stickers for SImblr.cc as a donation thing, but also to make some of my own. :)

Finishing LISISV

I never intended to make LISISV like those shows that have been around for 20 years and going on. :p I know most of you do, which I love! But I'm not sure if I will be able to, lol.

I was hoping to rewrite the entirety of "Elly" which I did YEARS ago as a wee 14 year old (till I think, like 16?) but that's all basically teenage cringe IMO :p The concept and the characters however I always adored. So who knows!

Figuring out what to do with Interests & Hobbies

I keep promising that I'll finish it "after this mod" and I honestly do open it up, work on it for a little bit but then I start working on a feature and it... just doesn't work with the mod? However, the more I do that, the more 'bland' the mod becomes. So I don't know what do with it anymore 😅 Anyone who knows please help!

Unless you are all okay with remnants of it, which I'm doing currently :)

Making this space mod I have been wanting to do for a while

Not many people know this about me but i'm a huge sci-fi nerd :p And I wondered how hard it would be to make this “colonizing the a planet” space mod in TS3. Though I know that most people probably wouldn't care about that, since TS3 is more about generational things and... not so much about those things. So, who knows.

I guess I just need to sit down with myself and get my shit together, honestly.

Attempting to actually talk to others.

I don't know how people do it... I honestly want to keep tap of everyone I follow but I get so exhausted, if not, my anxiety starts kicking in because "what if I say the wrong things?" It's not just a tumblr thing though, i've been like that since forever, and maybe should just reach out for help for it. I just don't know.

I just feel as of late that people put great effort into commenting on my things and I'm barely there for them. Yet, just know that I am there, that I do think of you, i'm just deleting my sentences over and over again and just giving up. I'm genuinely sorry about that.

Hopefully your year will be nice and may your wishes come true :

#text post #text #long post #new year resolution #greenie rambles

[beebopboom]

So a while ago I made a full timeline for the show just to keep up with the craziness with all the minisodes and started to analyze them

And I just want to point out places we could possibly get new ones - this is going to be long so strap in - also just kind of a ramble don’t take this too serious

So first off could be the Fall/Great War - it would make sense to get a "middle" part to their story before humanity - we have the beginning and the end (where their story on earth starts) - it would just be a nice wrap up

Now for 4004b.c.- 2500b.c. I think we are pretty good on that time period and them only meeting up those three time based on how they make references to their previous meeting like they haven't talked in between them

Then we come to 2500b.c. - 33a.d. which is quite a jump of 2533 years compared to the previous around a 1000 years - and it is the time Jesus is born and his first life which could end up being important next season - but l assume it is also a time of a lot of biblical moments not great on Bible stuff me - so just a lot of possibilities here during this time

I don't see a lot happening between 33a.d - 41a.d yknow with less than 10 years apart - but you never know

Then 41a.d - 537a.d. a bit more time between the two - could get to see something that gets Crowley thinking about suggesting the arrangement - but I don't really think anything would go here

Now 537 a.d. - 1601 - ooh boy it would be great to see one of the dozens of arrangements that crowley mentions they have done in this time period

And next is 1601 - 1793 which I'm a big fan of getting something from here - once again it is an almost 2000 year gap - and you have 1650 that Aziraphale mentions as maybe the first apology dance and the only date we haven't seen anything from that list (also look here for maybe why it’s important for Crowley) - but could also do a continuation thing for 1793 like what was done for 1941 - oh or Crowley finding out about Aziraphale opening up the bookshop - so many possibilities

Ok so 1793 - 1862 we already got an addition between the two so idk if we would get another one - but it would be cool to see something with Jane Austen like the 1810 robbery (that is not an actual thing that happened so why add it if not to expand on it) - or the bookshop opening scene

And the period between 1862 - 1941 they weren't talking but I wouldn't count out seeing them on their own considering yknow the possible parallels

Again 1941-1967 a shorter period of time -I don't really see a need for anything here tbh - but could be interesting to see aziraphale's attitude shift

And finally 1967 - present, a big jump i know but honestly wouldn't mind seeing anything from here, think it could be fun - we've already seen some of 70's crowley which was great - but probably would be more of a short flashback or mention than a full minisode

#but who knows #not me #i got tired at the end #might have missed a few things #i also think the minisodes will be more focused on Crowley this next season since it was focused on Aziraphale this season #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #good ineffable omens #the brainrot is real #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable spouses #good omens timeline #good omens minisode

[snowysakusa]

going down the brocedes rabbit hole pretty quickly, so i decided to make a taylor swift playlist-

can i call this a brocedes fic with taylor swift lyrics? cause it kinda is just that... anyway lets get down to it.

okay how about:

invisible string Cornelia Street Sweet Nothings Maroon champagne problems tolerate it coney island peace exile All Too Well (10 Min) The Archer The Great War Say Don't Go this is me trying You're Losing Me my tears ricochet Breathe Is It Over Now? The Way I Loved You I Bet You Think About Me Now That We Don't Talk

Here's the 'story'

1. invisible string / like a prologue (lewis' version perhaps)

Time, curious time Gave me no compasses, gave me no strings Were there clues I didn't see? And isn't it just so pretty to think All long there was some Invisible string Tying you to me? Time, mystical time Cuttin' me open, then healin' me fine Were there clues I didn't see? And isn't it just so pretty to think All along there was some Invisible string Tying you to me? A string that pulled me Out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons One single thread of gold tied me to you (...) Time, wondrous time Gave me the blues and then purple pink skies And it's cool, baby, with me And isn't it just so pretty to think All along there was some Invisible string Tying you to me?

unrelated to this narrative but: Cold was the steel of my axe to grind For the boys who broke my heart Now I send their babies presents (literally lewis sending presents to nico's daughters, i screamed)

2. Cornelia Street / Lover song, can't imagine it ending, prologue 2 (nico's version)

We were a fresh page on the desk Filling in the blanks as we go As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead Leading us home (...) Memorize the creaks in the floor Back when we were card sharks, playing games I thought you were leading me on I packed my bags, left Cornelia Street Before you even knew I was gone But then you called, showed your hand I turned around before I hit the tunnel Sat on the roof, you and I (...) Walk me back to that apartment Years ago, we were just inside Barefoot in the kitchen Sacred new beginnings That became my religion, listen I hope I never lose you I'd never walk Cornelia Street again Oh, never again (...) That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

3. Sweet Nothings / Beginnings, sweet nothings leading them on

I spy with my little tired eye Tiny as a firefly A pebble that we picked up last July Down deep inside your pocket We almost forgot it Does it ever miss Wicklow sometimes? They said the end is coming Everyone's up to something I find myself running home to your sweet nothings Outside, they're push and shoving You're in the kitchen humming All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing Industry disruptors and soul deconstructors And smooth-talking hucksters out glad-handing each other And the voices that implore, "You should be doing more" To you, I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it

4. Maroon / They're loosing themselves here, the start of hurting each other

The burgundy on my T-shirt when you splashed your wine into me And how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was The mark you saw on my collarbone, the rust that grew between telephones The lips I used to call home, so scarlet, it was maroon When the silence came, we were shaking blind and hazy How the hell did we lose sight of us again? Sobbin' with your head in your hands Ain't that the way shit always ends? You were standin' hollow-eyed in the hallway Carnations you had thought were roses, that's us I feel you no matter what The rubies that I gave up

5. Champagne Problems / consequences, mellowness, public view of their feud

You booked the night train for a reason So you could sit there in this hurt Bustling crowds or silent sleepers You're not sure which is worse Because I dropped your hand while dancing Left you out there standing Crestfallen on the landing Champagne problems You had a speech, you're speechless Love slipped beyond your reaches And I couldn't give a reason Champagne problems Your Midas touch on the Chevy door November flush and your flannel cure "This dorm was once a madhouse" I made a joke, "Well, it's made for me" How evergreen, our group of friends Don't think we'll say that word again And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls That we once walked through One for the money, two for the show I never was ready, so I watch you go Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you "She would've made such a lovely bride What a shame she's fucked in the head, " they said But you'll find the real thing instead She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred

6. tolerate it / nico pov, he's had it, begging for acknowledgement

I sit and watch you reading with your head low I wake and watch you breathing with your eyes closed I sit and watch you I greet you with a battle hero's welcome I take your indiscretions all in good fun I sit and listеn While you were out building other worlds, where was I? Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire? I made you my temple, my mural, my sky Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life Drawing hearts in the byline Always taking up too much space or time You assume I'm fine, but what would you do if I Break free and leave us in ruins Took this dagger in me and removed it Gain the weight of you then lose it Believe me, I could do it If it's all in my head, tell me now Tell me I've got it wrong somehow I know my love should be celebrated But you tolerate it

7. coney island / lewis pov, doesn't understand what changed, grief towards the relationship

Break my soul in two looking for you But you're right here If I can't relate to you anymore Then who am I related to? Did I close my fist around something delicate? Did I shatter you? And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island Wondering, "Where did my baby go?" The fast times, the bright lights, the merry-go Sorry for not making you my centerfold Do you miss the rogue Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? Will you forgive my soul When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care? 'Cause we were like the mall before the internet It was the one place to be The mischief, the gift-wrapped suburban dreams Sorry for not winning you an arcade ring And when I got into the accident The sight that flashed before me was your face But when I walked up to the podium I think that I forgot to say your name When the sun goes down The sight that flashed before me was your face When the sun goes down But I think that I forgot to say your name Over and over

8. peace / decisions and confessions

Our coming-of-age has come and gone Suddenly the summer, it's clear I never had the courage of my convictions As long as danger is near And it's just around the corner, darling 'Cause it lives in me No, I could never give you peace All these people think love's for show But I would die for you in secret The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me Would it be enough if I could never give you peace? And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences Sit with you in the trenches Give you my wild, give you a child Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other Family that I chose, now that I see your brother as my brother Is it enough? But the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

9. exile / conflict within themselves

I can see you standing, honey With his arms around your body Laughin', but the joke's not funny at all I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defending now? You were my town Now I'm in exile, seein' you out I think I've seen this film before I can see you starin', honey Like he's just your understudy Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending I'm not your problem anymore So who am I offending now? You were my crown Now I'm in exile, seein' you out I think I've seen this film before So I'm leavin' out the side door So step right out, there is no amount Of crying I can do for you All this time We always walked a very thin line You didn't even hear me out (you didn't even hear me out) You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) I never learned to read your mind (never learned to read my mind) I couldn't turn things around (you never turned things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

10. All Too Well (10 Min) / Recap of everything that went down, trip down memory lane, receipts for combat (11. the archer)

And I, left my scarf there at your sister's house And you've still got it in your drawer even now And I can picture it after all these days And I know it's long gone and that magic's not here no more And I might be okay but I'm not fine at all You almost ran the red 'cause you were lookin' over at me Your cheeks were turning red You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed And your mother's telling stories 'bout you on the tee-ball team You told me 'bout your past thinking your future was me 'Til we were dead and gone and buried Check the pulse and come back swearing, it's the same After three months in the grave And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you But all I felt was shame And you held my lifeless frame And I know it's long gone and there was nothing else I could do And I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to 'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light And there we are again when nobody had to know You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath And maybe we got lost in translation Maybe I asked for too much But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up Running scared, I was there I remember it all too well And you call me up again just to break me like a promise So casually cruel in the name of being honest I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here 'Cause I remember it all, all, all Too well They say all's well that ends well But I'm in a new hell every time You double-cross my mind The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel Whose shine reflects on you That's what happened: You You who charmed my dad with self-effacing jokes Sippin' coffee like you're on a late-night show But then he watched me watch the front door all night Willin' you to come And he said: It's supposed to be fun Turning 21 Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it I'd like to be my old self again But I'm still trying to find it But you keep my old scarf from that very first week 'Cause it reminds you of innocence And it smells like me You can't get rid of it 'Cause there we are again when I loved you so Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known It was rare, I was there I remember it all too well And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue? Just between us, did the love affair maim you too? 'Cause in this city's barren cold I still remember the first fall of snow And how it glistened as it fell I remember it all too well Just between us, did the love affair maim you all too well? Just between us, do you remember it all too well?

11. The Archer / pre-climax

Combat, I'm ready for combat I say I don't want that, but what if I do? 'Cause cruelty wins in the movies I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you Easy they come, easy they go I jump from the train, I ride off alone Dark side, I search for your dark side But what if I'm alright, right, right, right here? I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost The room is on fire, invisible smoke And all of my heroes die all alone Help me hold onto you I've been the archer I've been the prey Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay? Can you see right through me? They see right through me I see right through me All the king's horses, all the king's men Couldn't put me together again 'Cause all of my enemies started out friends Help me hold onto you I've been the archer I've been the prey Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay? You could stay Combat, I'm ready for combat

12. The Great War / self explanatory, climax. screaming, crying, throwing up (but well see 13 & 14)

My knuckles were bruised like violets Sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep-talked Tore your banners down, took the battle underground And maybe it was ego swinging You drew up some good faith treaties I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone You said I have to trust more freely But diesel is desire, you were playin' with fire And maybe it's the past that's talkin' Screamin' from the crypt Tellin' me to punish you for things you never did So I justified it It turned into something bigger Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed Your finger on my hair pin triggers Soldier down on that icy ground Looked up at me with honor and truth Broken and blue, so I called off the troops That was the night I nearly lost you I really thought I lost you There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair And we will never go back To that bloodshed, crimson clover Uh-huh, the worst was over My hand was the one you reached for All throughout the Great War Always remember Uh-huh, we're burned for better I vowed I would always be yours 'Cause we survived the Great War

13. Say Don't Go / turnaround

I've known it from the very start We're a shot in the darkest dark I'm standin' on a tightrope alone I hold my breath a little bit longer Halfway out the door, but it won't close I'm holdin' out hope for you to Say, "Don't go" I would stay forever if you say, "Don't go" Now I'm pacin' on shaky ground Strike a match, then you blow it out Oh no, oh no, it's not fair Why'd you have to (why'd you have to) Make me want you (make me want you)? Why'd you have to (why'd you have to) Give me nothin' back? Why'd you have to (why'd you have to) Make me love you (make me love you)? I said, "I love you" (I said, "I love you") You say nothin' back Why'd you have to lead me on? (Oh) Why'd you have to twist the knife? Walk away and leave me bleedin', bleedin'? Why'd you whisper in the dark Just to leave me in the night? Now your silence has me screamin', screamin' go" I would stay forever if you say, "don't go" But you won't, but you won't, but you won't

14. this is me trying / nico, post-retirement-ish, rough patch, regrets

I've been having a hard time adjusting I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting I didn't know if you'd care if I came back I have a lot of regrets about that I just wanted you to know That this is me trying They told me all of my cages were mental So I got wasted like all my potential And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad I have a lot of regrets about that I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere Fell behind on my classmates, and I ended up here Pouring out my heart to a stranger But I didn't pour the whiskey And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you You're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town And I just wanted you to know That this is me trying (...) At least I'm trying

15. You're Losing Me / the end, melancholy, relationship finale pt.1, friends? we're not friends vibes

You say, "I don't understand, " and I say, "I know you don't" Do I throw out everything we built or keep it? I'm getting tired even for a phoenix Always risin' from the ashes Mendin' all her gashes You might just have dealt the final blow Stop, you're losin' me I can't find a pulse My heart won't start anymore For you 'Cause you're losin' me How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'? I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick And the air is thick with loss and indecision I know my pain is such an imposition And you know what they all say You don't know what you got until it's gone How long could we be a sad song 'Til we were too far gone to bring back to life? I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier Fighting in only your army Frontlines, don't you ignore me You're losin' me Stop (stop, stop), you're losin' me Stop (stop, stop), you're losin' me I can't find a pulse My heart won't start anymore

16. my tears ricochet / the final blow, relationship finale pt.2, dead and gone and buried

If I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me? 'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you 'Til my dying day And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet You know I didn't want to have to haunt you But what a ghostly scene You wear the same jewels that I gave you As you bury me I didn't have it in myself to go with grace 'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want, just not home And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones I didn't have it in myself to go with grace And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same Cursing my name, wishing I stayed You turned into your worst fears And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain Crossing out the good years

17. Breathe / cause and effect, acceptance

I see your face in my mind as I drive away, 'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way But it's killing me to see you go after all this time Now I don't know what to be without you around And we know it's never simple, Never easy Never a clean break, no one here to save me You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand, Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve And sometimes it doesn't work out, Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out I can't, Breathe, Without you, But I have to, Breathe, Without you, But I have to

18. Is it Over? / resentment, bitterness, both sides, in your face type of vibes

I slept all alone You still wouldn't go And did you think I didn't see you? There were flashing lights At least I had the decency To keep my nights out of sight Only rumors 'bout my hips and thighs Was it over then? And is it over now? When you lost control Red blood, white snow Blue dress on a boat Your new girl is my clone Let's fast forward to three hundred awkward blind dates later If she's got blue eyes, I will surmise that you'll probably date her You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor You search in every model's bed for something greater Oh, Lord, I think about Jumping off of very tall somethings Just to see you come running And say the one thing I've been wanting But no

19. The Way That I Loved You / reminiscing, flashbacks

He is sensible and so incredible And all my single friends are jealous He says everything I need to hear, and it's like I couldn't ask for anything better He respects my space And never makes me wait And he calls exactly when he says he will He's close to my mother Talks business with my father He's charming and endearing And I'm comfortable He can't see the smile I'm faking And my heart's not breaking 'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all And you were wild and crazy Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated Got away by some mistake and now I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain It's 2 a.m. and I'm cursing your name I'm so in love that I acted insane And that's the way I loved you Breaking down and coming undone It's a roller coaster kind of rush And I never knew I could feel that much And that's the way I loved you

20. I Bet You Think About Me / again with the reminiscing of the past, their lives, a bit of knife digging in the wound, I bet you think about me while thinking about them, double sided sword there

3 a.m. and I'm still awake, I'll bet you're just fine Well, I tried to fit in with your upper-crust circles Yeah, they let me sit in back when we were in love Oh, they sit around talkin' 'bout the meaning of life And the book that just saved 'em that I hadn't heard of But now that we're done and it's over I bet you couldn't believe When you realized I'm harder to forget than I was to leave And I bet you think about me You grew up in a silver-spoon, gated community Glamorous, shiny, bright Beverly Hills I was raised on a farm, no, it wasn't a mansion Just livin' room dancin' and kitchen table bills But you know what they say, you can't help who you fall for And you and I fell like an early spring snow The voices so loud sayin', "Why did you let her go?" Does it make you feel sad That the love that you're lookin' for Is the love that you had? Now you're out in the world, searchin' for your soul Scared not to be hip, scared to get old Chasing make-believe status, last time you felt free Was when none of that shit mattered 'cause you were with me I bet you think about me in your house With your organic shoes and your million-dollar couch I bet you think about me

21. Now That We Don't Talk / they still check in on each other, instead of talking, the end

You went to a party I heard from everybody You part the crowd like the Red Sea Don't even get me started Did you get anxious though On the way home? You grew your hair long You got new icons You didn't have to change But I guess I don't have a say I call my mom, she said that it was for the best Remind myself the more I gave, you'd want me less I cannot be your friend So I pay the price of what I lost And what it cost I don't have to pretend I like acid rock Or that I'd like to be on a mega yacht With important men who think important thoughts Guess maybe I am better off Now that we don't talk And the only way back to my dignity Was to turn into a shrouded mystery Just like I had been when you were chasing me Guess this is how it was to be Now that we don't talk

i tried to make this short- i tried and did not succeed.

when i listen to songs i see stories and i connect them, all that jazz. I saw this.

i apologise to everyone who's normal about brocedes, im not apparently.

#brocedes #f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #im not okay #that post that went this narrative fits both nico and george kinda killed me dead gone died #brocedes edit #mine #i think i hallucinated this whole thing tbh #my ramblings

[stardustshelb]

"Orange Juice" Part One

TW: Language. Your name (female) + Danny. 3,157 words.

The song "Orange Juice" by Noah Kahan inspired me to write this story; each part of the story is inspired by a different part of the song. Also, I'm in my sad girl era so you all must suffer with me.

“Feels like I've been ready for you to come home for so long.

That I didn't think to ask you where you'd gone.

Why'd you go?” - NK

I should have known when my dad texted me to check my email that there’d be something interesting waiting for me in my inbox. The organizers of my high school reunion had no idea how to get in touch with me, so they went through him. Part of me wished he would have just deleted the email and never said anything. How has it already been 10 years since I graduated? I swear it was only yesterday that Sam and I were daydreaming about record deals and tours while sitting in class. My parents were never too hard on me about school because I still made time for both my studies and my band. But I think they always knew that I was never going to need to know chemistry or calculus because I was going to have a career in music. Though, none of us would have ever dreamed I’d be where I am today.

Josh and Jake skipped out on their high school reunion a couple years ago, and Sam was planning to do the same for ours. It would probably cause more trouble than it’s worth if we showed up. Truth be told, I wasn’t dying to go but I was curious to know if you’d be there. We haven’t spoken since I left Frankenmuth. Hell, we stopped talking while I was still there. I’ve heard stories about you from my mom. “The girl who got away is in rehab again,” she’d say casually over the phone. Something about the way she’d say again angered me, but I knew she meant well. 

Judging by the date on the invitation, I still had a few months to decide whether I was going to attend or not. Maybe I could find out if you were planning on going while I’m home later this week for Christmas. I wondered if you’d even be around town or if you’d even want to see me. Our friendship didn’t end on the best of terms and that still bothered me nearly a decade later. I wonder if you’ve ever forgiven me for that night. It took a while for me to forgive myself.

…

“Let me help,” Dad said as he grabbed my guitar case out of the back of the SUV I rented for the week. I tried to pack light for the quick trip but between my suitcase, guitar, and the presents I bought for my family, I ended up checking more luggage than I expected. I could smell Mom’s cooking from the driveway, and I had to swallow the lump of nostalgia that formed in my throat. I rolled my suitcases up the walkway and before Dad could even turn the knob, Josie ran through the front door and practically tackled me. 

“Easy, easy,” I said as I tried to keep from falling backward on top of my luggage.

“I’m so happy you’re home!” she squealed as she let go of our hug. She grabbed the larger suitcase from my hand and followed our dad inside. Christmas music was lightly playing throughout the house which told me that Mom was in charge of the stereo. I was home for Christmas but I didn’t quite feel like I was home. I almost felt like a stranger walking through the house I was raised in. Maybe I was tired from traveling, maybe I just wasn’t in the Christmas spirit this year, or maybe thoughts of you crept in as soon as the plane’s wheels touched down in Michigan.

“Daniel, did you hear me?” my mom’s voice broke into my thoughts.

“I’m sorry, what?” I asked.

“Do you want to put your things away and then come to the kitchen to help me finish dinner?” she repeated.

“Sure, yes, be right there,” I said as I dragged my belongings to my childhood bedroom. When I walked through the door, I was glad to see nothing had been moved. Mom and Dad were always sentimental; therefore, I come by it naturally. I glanced around the room and tried to balance the surreal feeling of being back home. It was just as I left it the last time I visited. Unmade bed and all. “It’s not going to make itself,” I could hear my dad say like he did my entire life. I never understood the point in making a bed if I was just going to sleep in it every night anyways. I moved closer to the disheveled comforter and lifted the mattress. I pushed my hand between the mattress and the box springs searching for my secret stash of notes you had written me many lifetimes ago. Worn and faded folded notes brushed against my fingertips and I gently pulled them out. 

“Daniel?” I heard my mom call from the kitchen. Suddenly, I opened the top drawer to my nightstand and threw the notes inside. I would have to read them at another time. I got up and made my way into the kitchen where Mom was mixing something on the stove.

“Hey, Mom,” I said as I leaned in to kiss her on the cheek.

“Hello, hun,” she said as she placed her hand against the side of my face. The unfamiliar feeling I had earlier was slowly going away. “I wanted to talk to you,” she said, turning away from me and back to her cooking. 

“What about?” I said as I began slicing the carrots she laid out on the cutting board.

“I saw y/n the other day. And… we spoke,” she said, still keeping her back to me. I remained focused on my task of cutting the carrots.

“About?” I asked.

“You mostly,” she said. I winced.

“What about me?” I asked.

“She looks great,” my mom answered, obviously avoiding my question.

“What about me?” I repeated.

“Your music, your success, you coming home for Christmas,” she said as her tone changed.

“Did she seem interested in any of that information?” I asked.

“I think so, but then again, she could have been playing nice,” Mom said as she came over to take the knife that I was just holding. I realized I had stopped cutting the carrots since I was fixated on this conversation. You were back in town and you knew I was here too. 

“I can do it,” I said as I held the knife firmly. Mom patted my shoulder and walked back to the stove.

“I think she’s staying sober this time,” my mom added.

“I hope so,” I said quietly. 

…

“Not one nick on your finger, you just asked me to hold you.

But it made you a stranger and filled you with anger.” - NK

I’ve spent two days at home, yet I still feel like an outsider. I don’t think anyone has noticed because I am able to wear a figurative mask well. That ability comes in handy for shows and interviews when I’m feeling sick or tired. I offered to help my mom finish her grocery shopping for Christmas dinner, so I put on my baseball hat backwards and grabbed my keys. She texted me a list of things she still needed which I was grateful for. She even included pictures of the items as if I were an idiot, but in her defense, I haven’t shopped for my own groceries in years. Our staff knows what I like and it just appears in our green rooms. Maybe this trip home will humble me a bit. 

I decided to drive a little further outside of Frankenmuth to go to a less crowded grocery store. I don’t normally draw much attention when I’m alone in public, but I didn’t want to take the risk. I wasn’t feeling like myself and I didn’t want to project negative feelings on my fans. I pulled into the parking spot furthest away from the entrance and reviewed the list on my phone as I walked through the automatic doors. I grabbed a basket and made my way toward the spices/seasonings aisle. I scanned the shelves looking for Mom’s specific brand of garlic powder. When I spotted it, I threw one container in my basket and turned to make my way down the rest of the aisle. As I began to walk, I noticed an employee abruptly turned the opposite direction and left. Strange. I continued my quest of finding my mom’s requirements with my basket getting heavier by the minute. 

When I had finally acquired everything she needed, I made my way to the front of the store to check out. With it being only two days until Christmas, the store was crowded despite it being in such a small town. There looked to be only two cashiers working, so I stood in line behind what I thought would be the quickest one. Of course, I chose wrong. I tried to hide my impatience by scrolling on my phone when I heard your name.

“Y/n, come to register three, please. Y/n, come to register three,” was announced over the intercom. 

Suddenly, the employee who eluded me earlier now made her appearance. It was you. Avoiding my gaze (and probably open mouth), you snuck behind an empty cash register. I hesitated on whether to go to your line or not. It was obvious you tried to avoid me at all costs, but I felt a pull to see you. Talk to you. Listen to your voice. Against my better judgment, I made my way to join your line. As I got closer to needing to check out, I could see your cheeks getting more red. I held my breath in anticipation until it was my turn.

“Did you find everything ok?” you asked without looking up from the groceries you were scanning out of my basket.

“I did, yes,” I muttered. You stopped scanning and stared down at the bag of brown sugar in your hands for a brief moment until you carried on with your task. I watched you continue to take my groceries and scan them without ever looking to meet my eyes. You were flustered; I could tell. I tried not to stare but I was almost in disbelief that you were right in front of me. Even though it has been a decade, you haven’t aged. Your face has changed but you still look like you always did to me.

“Your total is $98.44. Will you be using cash or credit today?” you asked again without looking at me. You were trying so hard to focus on the screen in front of you.

“Uh, cash,” I said as I reached for my wallet in my jean pocket. Suddenly, I couldn’t find it. I reached into the other pocket and still couldn’t find it. I began to panic. Did I lose my damn wallet in this store? Was it stolen? Then I realized, I never grabbed it off the nightstand when I grabbed my keys before I left. 

“Shit,” I said as I hung my head. “I don’t have my wallet. Do you know if your system takes ApplePay? I have my card on my phone,” I explained.

“No, we don’t. Our technology isn’t updated, but don’t worry about it,” you said as you bent down to get into your purse beneath the register.

“No, I can’t have you pay for this. I’ll just come back with my wallet if you can set it to the side,” I pleaded.

I watched you grab the card reader and stick your own credit card in the chip reader. I was bewildered.

“Y/n,” I spoke so quietly I wasn’t sure if you heard me.

“Merry Christmas,” you said as you handed me the receipt. And for the first time, you met my eyes. They had a sadness to them that I couldn’t quite place. A sadness that matched mine. 

“What time do you get off? I am going to come back to pay you back,” I said.

“Have a great day, sir,” you answered, avoiding my question. I watched you direct your attention to the customer behind me. “Ahem,” he said as a sign for me to move.

I grabbed my bags of groceries and made my way to the rental SUV. I needed to get home quickly to grab my wallet and make it back to pay you. But I knew I didn’t need to go over the speed limit since I was now illegally driving without my license. I fought the urge to speed but remained as level-headed as I could be. 

 …

After putting the refrigerated bags of groceries away, I quickly ran up stairs to grab my wallet. I checked to make sure I had enough cash to pay you back and then some. I shoved it in my back pocket and raced down the hallway.

“Whoa, where are you going in such a hurry?” Josie asked as I tried to avoid running into her.

“I have to go back to the store. I forgot something,” I said in practically one breath.

“Why do I feel like you’re lying to me?” she asked as her brows furrowed.

“I’m not. I just need to get back there,” I explained.

“I can come with you,” she offered.

“Sure, yeah, that’s fine,” I said. I didn’t really want company but maybe you’d be more apt to talk to me if my sister was there. You two always got along so well. Sometimes I wondered if you were more her best friend rather than mine.

“So what did you forget?” Josie asked as she climbed into the passenger seat.

“My wallet,” I said.

“So how did you make it home with all of the groceries?” she asked.

“The cashier paid for my stuff, so now I’m on my way to pay her back,” I said. I left out the detail that you were the cashier. 

“Well that was awfully nice of her,” Josie said with a suspicious tone in her voice.

I pulled into the parking lot and nearly forgot to turn off the ignition before jumping out of the car. I ran through the automatic doors and made my way to your line. As if you could sense I was watching you, you kept your gaze locked on your task again. 

“Thanks for waiting on me,” I heard Josie sarcastically say as she came up beside me. 

“Sorry,” I said. 

“Wait,” she said. I looked down to see her staring at you. “Oh, ok, now I get it.”

“I’m just paying her back,” I said.

“I’m going to go look at… that display over there,” Josie said as she turned on her heel.

“Josie…” I said.

“I won’t be far,” she said as she began to walk away. When it came my turn, you kept your eyes locked on the screen in front of you. I stood there waiting for you to acknowledge me for what felt like eternity.

“Aren’t you going to ask me if I found everything ok?” I asked.

“Don’t mock me,” you said with a sense of anger in your voice.

“I wasn’t!” I exclaimed. Suddenly I felt my cheeks getting warm. “I would never.” You continued not to look at me, but I could see what I thought may have been tears forming in your eyes. My heart swelled.

“I came to pay you back,” I said as I held out two $100 bills. You glanced at the money in my hand.

“That’s significantly more than what your total was,” you said.

“I know. Just consider the rest a thank-you gift,” I said.

“I’m not a damn charity case,” you said with a bite in your voice.

“Y/n, I don’t think that. I just wanted to–” I began.

You interrupted, “If I take the money, will you leave?” 

“If that’s what you want, then yes. I will leave,” I said solemnly. Suddenly, you reached out and quickly grabbed the money from my hand. I felt my heart break as I noticed you were fighting back tears.

“Thank you,” you said quietly.

“I know I’m the last person you want to see, but–” I started.

“You are,” you interrupted.

“But if you could find the time, I’d really like the chance to visit with you,” I finished.

“You told me you would leave if I took the money,” you said looking past me and at the line forming behind me. 

“Good bye, y/n,” I said sullenly before turning to walk away. And all of the guilt and pain that I thought I left behind when I abandoned this town suddenly came rushing back.

 …

I sat on the edge of my childhood bed and stared at my feet on the floor for what felt like eternity. I had the urge to read our notes that I hid in my nightstand, but seeing you today might be all that I can take. You are still angry with me, and I figured you always will be. I don’t know why I expected that anger to go away after 10 years. Maybe it’s because it did for me. I felt the need to talk to you even more now than I did before. I opened the drawer to my nightstand and started to sift through our notes. There were dozens of faded, folded notes. I gently unwrapped the one where you drew a middle finger on the front of. I smiled as I read through the lines of teenage angst. Oh how our problems back then seemed to be so much more important. I remember you were mad at me because I let Sam ride shotgun in my car even though you claimed it before school that morning. I told you to take it up with Sam, but clearly you thought I should have been on your side. You didn’t talk to me until lunch that day when you handed me this note and told me you hoped I choked on my breadstick. Then you laughed hysterically when I immediately grabbed the breadstick off my plate and choked myself with it. Doing something stupid like that was all it took to make you smile and forgive me. I made sure Sam stayed in the backseat the rest of the school year.

I opened another note and scanned it until I found my holy grail: Your phone number. This was one of the first notes you ever wrote me. I wondered if you still had the same number all of these years later. I know mine has changed several times, but my circumstances were different. I decided to take a leap and dialed the ten digits written in a glittery blue gel pen. I held my breath as I heard it ring.

"Hello?" I heard your voice answer.

#greta van fic #greta van fleet #daniel wagner #danny wagner #noah kahan #orange juice #sad fanfiction

[bloomblanche]

＊✿ It's Melly!! ✿＊

I just realized that I haven't talked about her much on my blog. Time to fix that.

(Text cut for aesthetic purposes)

Bear in mind that she kinda evolved from "splatsona" to "OC who shares a lot of things with me (but not everything!) and still represents me sometimes but is mostly her own character now"

❥ Mélusine (full name Mélusine Larchipel) is 20 years old and goes by she/her. Her height is 166 cm, aka 5'5. She's autistic and pansexual.

❥ She's all academics, no street smarts. She's rather shy, overly polite, and has trouble voicing her opinions (as well as socializing in general). Her enthusiasm and eccentricities regularly slip through the cracks of her demure appearance.

❥ Melly moved to Inkadia around 10 years ago (making her multilingual as a result), but she still hasn't gotten used to everything because she would mostly spend her time inside without interacting much with other people. She's only recently started to open up, and she uses ink sports and tableturf as a way to do so.

❥ Her mom is a surface Octoling, but her dad is a Cirraling (which is my fan species of cirrate octopuses). That makes her half-grimpoteuthis! The reason why it matters is that the top design isn't her true appearance. The bottom one is what she looks like all-natural.

(Older drawings for comparison)

❥ Due to the biological differences of cirrate octopuses, her chromatophores and her ink sac are a bit underdeveloped. It takes roughly 15 minutes of light exposure for her chromatophores to be able to change colour and roughly 30 minutes in darkness for her to revert back to her natural colour.

❥ She's a bit insecure about her differences, so that's why she disguises herself as a regular Octoling. In fact, her hairstyle is meant to make her ears look smaller since she would get teased for them as a kid.

❥ This character is pretty much a metaphor for masking, when you think about it

❥ Now! Being part-dumbo has its perks, such as better night vision, but it also has its downsides. Remember when I said that her ink sac was underdeveloped? Because of that, she has to focus almost all of her gear abilities into ink saving.

❥ And that combined with her being unable to play anything other than brushes means that Melly REALLY sucks at Salmon Run. She sucks so much that her teammates kept complaining, and she ended up getting kicked out of Grizz Co. She doesn't mind it too much, though, because she's happy earning money with turf war and sewing. Not to mention that the whole business looks really shady anyway.

❥ Going back to brush weapons! Melly has a weird obsession with them. She owns all of the available ones on the market and will only listen to Sheldon's rambles if they're about brush weapons (if they aren't, she will immediately zone out)

❥ She's named Mélusine after the fairy from the eponymous myth. Mélusine is a spirit of fresh water who was cursed to become a serpent from the waist down every Saturday. So! Not only does it have a water theme, but it reflects her appearance-changing deal. She likes her full name, and her family uses it on a regular basis. The reason why she mostly goes by "Melly" is because it's easier for her friends to pronounce.

❥ Her favourite band is Chirpy Chips, and her favourite song from them is Shellfie. She's also a big fan of Raian (guess where that came from) and has a celebrity crush on them.

❥ Her favourite show and videogame are called "Magical Mumi Uni-chan" and "Coral Village 2" respectively.

❥ She loves blueberry pies and hates walnuts for their dry aftertaste (macadamia nuts are more up her alley)

❥ She developed emetophobia as a kid after a severe bout of salmonella.

❥ She really likes flowers as well as lolita fashion and does sewing as a hobby.

❥ While not visible in this drawing, she has some webbing between her fingers (which are tainted purple)

❥ Her shoes are punk whites with ruffle socks.

❥ And last but not least: Melly is based on this specific octopus! She's also very interested in the deep sea and likes to search for books about it.

Thank you for your interest!!

Here are some silly gifs

#splatoon #splatoon oc

[johanna-swann]

It's been a few days, I've had time to sleep on it and I changed my mind. The season 7 finale was the worst finale yet. In short: The entire thing felt super rushed, there was next to no emotional payoff, the main plot made no sense and I was underwhelmed / confused the whole time.

The end result, where the characters are at right now, the position from which they will start into season 8 I'm happier with than last season (goodbye forced heteronormativity), but the way we got there was... not good. (Long review under the cut. Like, long review. I have a lot of thoughts.)

Just as in 6x18 the pacing of that episode was all over the place. There was this main plot that they teased us with, the "whatever is going to happen? are they all going to survive? what will the consequences be?" and then halfway through the episode that big mystery was resolved and there were no consequences.

I remember the bridge collapse last year was super underwhelming because they just rushed through the incident in a way that gave us no time to even worry about the characters much. Buck finally was put in a position where he had to assume leadership and then that lasted for exactly the time it took him to get to Hen and once she was awake, she took over as acting Captain. Nobody was hurt so badly that we had to assume the worst. That one earthquake victim showed up which was supposed to be meaningful I guess, but it just felt random. (I doubt most viewers even remembered a random victim from 4 seasons ago. I sure didn't until someone else pointed out it was the same actor.) And then the danger was suddenly just over. The "big dramatic disaster" took up less than 20 minutes and there were no consequences. There's a reason why 6x18 only made 99th place out of 106 episodes on imdb.

7x10 repeated those very same mistakes all over again, but worse. In this case the two big questions concerning the main plot were "Who committed the arson?" and "Will Bobby be okay?". Both questions barely had to be asked at all because 1) it was very clear (and not at all a plot twist as some early reviews suggested) that Amir was innocent and the generic Latino drug smuggler cartel (loved that btw, who came up with this bullshit) was involved. 2) this is 911. The main characters don't die. The least I expected though were some heartfelt moments between the rest of the team holding each other up, people sitting with Bobby and talking to him, maybe some parallels to last season when we had a similar situation with Buck.

Instead it takes almost 10 minutes until the other characters even figure out something is wrong and we proceed to focus heavily on Athena who's going rogue again and keeps critical information from her Captain because she wants to take revenge personally. She then threatens an innocent civilian with her service weapon while off duty which - as we learnt in 2x08 from none other than Athena herself - under California law is an assault. Well done 911, a show who has previously criticised Cops abusing their power but keeps writing stories for Athena to do the exact same thing. Wtf.

Anyway, my point was that we spent so much time following Athena around on her nonsensical quest for revenge that we barely even have scenes with Bobby in the hospital. Once the generic cardboard cutout cartel is dealt with it turns out that Bobby despite having been without his own heartbeat for 14 minutes, despite having been seizing and on a ventilator last we saw him, despite the Doctor being unsure if he'd wake up at all is actually just fine. Perfectly happy and healthy even. Okay. My bad for expecting something more here I guess.

Bottom line, the main plot around the arson was very straight forward (I don't know which part here was supposed to be considered a plot twist and using Amir as a very obvious red herring twice just seems lazy), had little emotional impact and "the big showdown" was very anticlimactic. Basically the same things I also criticised about the last season finale and I don't think it's a coincedence that 7x10 is the second worst rated episode as of right now. At least the bridge collapse made sense.

One storyline they (temporarily) wrapped up rather well is the one around Mara and Henren. This will be picked up again in season 8, but for now we know Mara is in a safe place, she can have contact to the Wilsons and it might also evolve into Madney discussing having another kid in the next season. I don't feel bad waiting 3 or 4 months for how this continues. However I still think that they should've waited with the plot around the council woman for season 8 maybe. Have Henren take in Mara, show them growing together as a family, show Mara slowly opening up to them. But season 7 had so much personal drama going on already, maybe if they had pushed the incident with Ortiz, her son and her revenge plot to season 8 it would've helped keeping these last few episodes more grounded. They still could've shown Mara struggling to fit in in her new home and all of that.

Madney didn't have much going on this season. The wedding episode had its moments of course, but those were contained to the confines of 7x06. Now they've taken in Mara and there's potential to build on that, but nothing that has been explicitly teased at yet.

The Eddie/Kim Doppelgänger plot was just unhinged. It was sort of fun and I enjoyed it in a way that I also enjoy Doctor Who, Umbrella Academy or Legends of Tomorrow when they go off the charts again with their weirdness levels, but did it really fit into 911 as a show? I don't know. It's also not exactly clear yet if they're going to bring back either Marisol or Kim next season. And like, I get it. Tim Minear regrets killing off Shannon, but for the love of god just stand by your mistake. She's dead. It's been 5 seasons. We already had a plot where Eddie realised that he can't date just to give Christopher a mother figure, we already had an arc where Eddie realised that if he starts dating again he has to do it for himself, we've had scenes where Eddie admitted he was angry with Shannon for wanting a divorce, for leaving or that he still misses her sometimes, we've seen Eddie and Christopher keep up traditions to mourn her together (visiting the grave, smores). I get that grief doesn't follow a specific timeline, but still. Can we please just move on already.

Also I don't understand why they had Christopher move to El Paso. Eddie's parents are both retired, they could've stayed in LA to support Christopher instead. Chris is probably a lot closer to a bunch of relatives they have in LA than he is to his grandparents too, what about Tía Pepa? I'll be honest, even if I was in a bad place and my kid was angry with me, I would not let my 13 year old who impulsively and in the middle of the night called his grandparents (who have a history of manipulating Eddie into giving Chrisopher to them) move over a thousand kilometres away, away from his school, his friends and all the other family members he's close too. There are other options. (Also why was Buck there? He was in the room, but that's about it. Again, my bad that I had the expectation he'd be there for a reason.)

Then we have Buck and Tommy. Nothing much going on here either. I get that keeping Tommy around for 7x09 and 7x10 was a bit of a last minute decision, it was probably difficult to schedule filming with the actor etc. But that doesn't stop other characters from talking about Tommy. Instead we still barely know what's going on. Are they officially boyfriends? How do they spend their time together, do they have a hobby in common? How long have they been dating? They're still cute, but it seems a little superficial.

Which brings me to a big issue: The timeline. What the fuck is going on with the timeline? I don't even mean the obvious mistake with Tommy leaving the 118 "5 years ago". But Henren are talking about adoption and according to my research adopting a foster kid takes at least 9 months. The cruise ship disaster happened "last march". What? What is going on? How much time are we missing here? Have Bucktommy been dating for a year now and we don't even know? How long was the Eddie/Kim thing going on? Then again, if we're missing an entire year, wouldn't Buck have been with the 118 for 8 years instead of 7 as Bobby said? I am so confused.

Another thing that has been mentioned before is that season 7 barely felt like a procedural drama. It was so chock-full with the characters' personal drama that it felt more like a soap at times. How many calls did we even have this season, especially in 7b? Episode 6 was the wedding, I only remember the abduction case from ep. 7, ep. 8 was Bobby begins once again, ep. 9 only had a montage and no specific calls and ep. 10 didn't have any calls at all. Hopefully this change will be reversed in season 8 when we get more than 10 episodes again.

Only thing left to mention is the "cliffhanger" with Gerrard. Is it really a cliffhanger though? Doesn't feel like the stakes are high enough to call it a cliffhanger. They're stuck with an asshole for a Captain, getting rid of him will be an important storyline in season 8, but it's also not as dramatic as they're trying to make it seem. A big part of the reason why Gerrard's 118 was so bad back in the begins episodes is that Chim and Hen felt isolated. They didn't have back-up against Gerrard, nobody helped them or spoke up for them. That is very much not the case this time. They all still have each other and Gerrard will not stick around forever. It will suck, but it also doesn't seem like a death sentence.

In conclusion: Most of the finale was just plain bad. Not cleverly written, not well balanced, not emotionally rewarding, not planned out enough. There's little positive I can take away from this episode. Some storylines weren't explored enough, others did get the necessary screentime and still made no sense. Not all of these mistakes were made just in the finale, some have been happening for most of season 7. Let's hope for a better season 8.

#911 abc #911 spoilers #911 season 7 #season 7 finale